#Carola Lovering
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tellmelieshulu · 10 months ago
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thomas doherty joins season 2 of tell me lies.
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tealeavesand-roses · 3 months ago
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Status: Read Rating: 3/5 🌟🌟🌟
Tell Me Lies by Carola Lovering. I watched the Hulu show Tell Me Lies trailer two years ago and decided at that moment to keep the show at bay because I wasn't interested in watching something of that caliber. Last week, I found myself browsing endlessly through multiple streaming services, and because the second season of Tell Me Lies just dropped (the advertising for the show has been pretty aggressive), it popped up at the top of my Hulu profile. I decided to throw it on. I binged through the first two episodes and had this visceral reaction to Stephen. His behavior made me feel this constant pit in my stomach because it was reminiscent of someone I had a situationship with a decade ago (click "keep reading" if you want the tea lmao).
Moving on, after binging through the first two episodes, I decided to pause watching the show and quickly read the book. I finished the book within 3 days and was stunned at how even more diabolical Stephen comes across in the book, likely because of how much access we have to Stephens's pov, inner monologue, etc. So far, I'm finding the changes from the book to the show interesting (e.g., morphing Jackie and Pippa into one person and having Macy be Lucy's roommate instead of a childhood acquaintance). I wonder if they'll still have the character Gabe (Macy's older brother) because I feel like this slight change shifts the trajectory of certain plotlines. Overall, the book was fine; the characters aren't necessarily likable, but the content is relatable in the worst ways lol. Hence why, I have a lot of feelings. I think the author did a pretty incredible job of displaying a sociopath with narcissistic attributes. As the reader, you're almost being manipulated by Stephen's plotting and reasoning for his actions, yet simultaneously, you're disgusted with him. Lastly, I wish he had gone to prison for what he did to Macy; I'm pretty upset about that.
*Flashback* I remember once thinking that this person and I had such an amazing evening together, and months later, I saw on his ex's Instagram that he had been with her earlier that evening (the picture was her on his lap, and they were making out). I once saw screenshots of texts that he had sent to a girl, which basically were the same lines he had said to me, down to a t. I had a dream one night that he did something, and the following day, I found out that he had hooked up with my old coworker. I could go on and on, but regardless, I remember feeling like he was calculated and intentional, and I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that someone could be so cruel and manipulative. There were probably so many other girls I'll never know about, and that's fine. I'm just glad the situationship only lasted 4 months.
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cantsayidont · 4 months ago
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Three mediocre recent streaming shows:
TELL ME LIES (2022–2024): Padded and flavorless Hulu adaptation of a 2018 Carola Lovering novel, set mostly in the late '00s, about a bland young white woman (college student Lucy Albright, played by Grace Van Patten) and her regrettable affair with a manipulative asshole (upperclassman Stephen DeMarco, played by Jackson White). Typical of recent Hulu dramas, it relies heavily on some surprisingly explicit sex scenes to enliven a dull plot and thinly drawn characters. Stephen isn't even an interesting creep, just a garden-variety douchebag, and Lucy herself has no discernible personality. (The eating disorder with which the character struggles in the book is also omitted, one supposes because creator Meaghan Oppenheimer felt it wasn't sexy enough.) The entire first season contains exactly one memorable story point: a nightmare-fodder subplot about Lucy being accused of plagiarism after reusing for creative writing class a short story she wrote on her LiveJournal in high school. CONTAINS LESBIANS: Lucy briefly gets a Black lesbian roommate (Zoe Renee), and one of her friends is closeted, but little comes of it until Season 2. VERDICT: Has the "I guess you had to be there" vibe of listening to strangers gossip about their boring college reunion, and Lucy's lack of personality becomes a really glaring weakness in the recently started second season.
TERMINATOR ZERO (2024): Convoluted, gloomy, pretentious animated TERMINATOR variation, written by Mattson Tomlin, but produced by Japan's Production I.G. and directed by Masashi Kudō. Set primarily in August 1997 — the eve of the nuclear war in the timeline of the first two movies — it focuses on the efforts of scientist Malcolm Lee (Yuuya Uchida) to convince his powerful new artificial intelligence, called Kokoro (Atsumi Tanezaki), to save humanity from Skynet; inevitably, visitors from the future seek to intervene. More conceptually ambitious than many of its predecessors, but also very muddled, with frustratingly hazy stakes and a lot of high-minded speechifying that sometimes clashes with this franchise's by now very tiresome story conceits. The 2-D animation is generally good, but it's dragged down by some dreadful 3-D inserts (particularly in the finale), and the action sequences lack imagination, wasting too much energy trying to echo familiar moments from the live-action movies rather than coming up with anything very new. CONTAINS LESBIANS? Not that it acknowledges. VERDICT: Tries hard — sometimes too hard — but doesn't ever add up to much, and if you're not sure the world needed yet another TERMINATOR spinoff, you'll likely remain unconvinced. In the time it would take to sit through all eight episodes, you could watch GHOST IN THE SHELL (1995) and most of TERMINATOR 2 (1991), so why not do that instead?
THE PERFECT COUPLE (2024): Unbearably grating mystery, ineptly adapted by Jenna Lamia from a trashy novel by Elin Hilderbrand, about a murder investigation on the eve of the posh Nantucket wedding of a cute middle-class zoologist (Eve Hewson) to the vacuous middle son (Billy Howle) of a mega-rich mega-bitch mystery novelist (Nicole Kidman) and her shiftless old-money pothead husband (Liev Schreiber), who's constitutionally incapable of keeping it in his pants. Plays like a Benoit Blanc mystery without Benoit Blanc, laboring under the misapprehension that just showing rich people being entitled, racist assholes constitutes incisive social satire, and the entire cast (which also includes Isabelle Adjani and Dakota Fanning) is unbelievably bad, not helped by a total lack of coherent character motivations. Stupid, abrasive, and stretching the story to six one-hour episodes makes it a real endurance test. CONTAINS LESBIANS? Just some '90s-style comic relief gay guys. VERDICT: Like broken glass on the beach, featuring one of Kidman's career-worst performances. If you're in the mood for something like this, try the recent Peacock adaptation of Liane Moriarty's APPLES NEVER FALL, which is much better.
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judgingbooksbycovers · 2 years ago
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Tell Me Lies: A Novel
By Carola Lovering.
Design by Donna Cheng.
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jones7thavenue · 1 year ago
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Second book haul for July 2023! I just bought them on sale! Two are shows and the other is a movie.
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bookcoversonly · 4 months ago
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Title: Tell Me Lies | Author: Carola Lovering | Publisher: Atria Books (2018)
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jolieeason · 9 months ago
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Bookish Travels---March 2024 Destinations
I saw this meme on It’s All About Books and thought, I like this!! So, I decided to do it once a month also. Many thanks to Yvonne for initially posting this!! This post is what it says: Places I travel to in books each month. Books take you to places you would never get to. That includes places of fantasy, too!! Bon Voyage!! Please let me know if you have read these books or traveled to these…
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helmstone · 11 months ago
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Tom Ellis joins the season 2 of Tell Me Lies
Tom Ellis joins the season 2 of Tell Me Lies
Deadline reports Tom Ellis (soon to be on screen in The Players) is joining season 2 of Tell Me Lies. Ellis is married to showrunner Meaghan Oppenheimer. Ellis has been cast in the series regular role of Oliver, a professor at Baird College whose tough love attitude makes him an intimidating presence that isn’t appreciated by all students. He is married to Lucy’s professor Marianne (Gabriella…
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whatwrenreads · 1 year ago
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Bye, Baby by Carola Lovering
Expected publication: March 5, 2024
One of my favourite reads so far in 2023, knew nothing about it going into the ARC and was so pleastantly surprised.
Do yourself a favour and check this out in the spring
full review is up on goodreads
genres & themes: adult fiction, mystery, suspense, contemporary, ex-best friends, female friendships, childhood
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tellmelieshulu · 11 months ago
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tom ellis joins season 2 of tell me lies. welcome to baird.
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beingfictional · 1 year ago
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Bye, Baby
Title: Bye, Baby Author: Carola Lovering Genre: thriller I HATED the characters in this book. The story is about two childhood friends, Billie and Cassie, and how their lives diverged. I guess I was supposed to be sympathetic to Billie because she’s not evil, but her neediness and desperation were so off-putting. And Cassie is an influencer, and I hated her from page one. Billie is desperate…
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coolladydot · 1 year ago
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Obsesie (recenzie)
Molly simți cum corpul îi devine rigid, iar celulele îi îngheață de șoc. Inima îi zvâcnea atât de tare în piept, încât putea auzi cum îi bătea sângele în urechi. Nu se putea să fie adevărat. Avea un coșmar? Îi venea să strige, să urle, dar rămăsese înțepenită. Nu putea scoate niciun sunet. Autor: Carola Lovering Număr pagini: 472 An apariție: 2022 Editura: Niculescu Traducere: Maria –…
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queenvreads · 1 year ago
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REVIEW: Bye,Baby by Carola Lovering
5/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐
**Thank you so much to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the opportunity to read the digital advanced reader copy of this novel in exchange for an honest review!**
I couldn't put this down. From the beginning to the end of the story, I was invested. It was truly suspenseful, yet not what I had anticipated. I initially considered giving this book 4 stars due to that, but later changed it to 5. It was an addictive and excellent read. I loved it and thought about it all night.
Cassie and Billie, lifelong best friends, found themselves growing apart after Cassie's marriage and the birth of her child. Billie, hurt by Cassie's changed behavior, impulsively takes an action that profoundly alters the trajectory of their friendship.
This book had me at the edge of my seat, eagerly awaiting the twists and turns. I was in a constant state of anticipation and couldn't predict the outcome. Even though the story didn't unfold as I expected, the conclusion brought peace & closure for both characters. I also really liked the way Bye, Baby was used in relationship to the event with Ella, but also Cassie & Billie's love for Dirty Dancing.
Among the characters, Billie resonated with me the most. Her pain felt relatable, considering the trials she had faced in her youth. I also admired her firm stance on not wanting to become a mother, and her commitment to this decision. Her intentions were always rooted in love and the deep bond she shared with Cassie, which Cassie seemingly disregarded thoughtlessly. I feel like Billie also felt like she owed Cassie a debt due to what she had done for her when they were younger. On the contrary, Cassie's demeanor grated on me from the outset. Despite her affection for Billie, her perception of a successful life, coupled with her privileged status, overshadowed life's more meaningful aspects—until her own daughter came into the picture.
Overall, Bye, Baby was a great read for me. I will pick up more from Carola Lovering in the future. I already watched the tv adaptation of Tell Me Lies and loved it!!
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whitneydaniell · 4 years ago
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by: Carola Lovering Published: Mar 2, 2021 Genre: Thriller, Mystery, Fiction 342 Pages, E-Book
★★★★
GoodReads Synopsis:
Skye Starling is overjoyed when her boyfriend, Burke Michaels, proposes after a whirlwind courtship. Though Skye seems to have the world at her fingertips―she’s smart, beautiful, and from a well-off family―she’s also battled crippling OCD ever since her mother’s death when she was eleven, and her romantic relationships have suffered as a result.
But now Burke―handsome, older, and more emotionally mature than any man she’s met before―says he wants her. Forever. Except, Burke isn’t who he claims to be. And interspersed letters to his therapist reveal the truth: he’s happily married, and using Skye for his own, deceptive ends.
In a third perspective, set thirty years earlier, a scrappy seventeen-year-old named Heather is determined to end things with Burke, a local bad boy, and make a better life for herself in New York City. But can her adolescent love stay firmly in her past―or will he find his way into her future?
On a collision course she doesn’t see coming, Skye throws herself into wedding planning, as Burke’s scheme grows ever more twisted. But of course, even the best-laid plans can go astray. And just when you think you know where this story is going, you’ll discover that there’s more than one way to spin the truth.
My Review:
WHAAAT?!
Everything about this story was off the rails. Skye is way too young t be dealing with Burke, I don't care how handsome he is. She should be enjoying her young-adult life and not worrying about marrying this man with a questionable background.
Heather is crazy. Period. She reeks of jealousy and disdain for how her life turned out. Jeez, build a bridge and get over it, or better yet, go to therapy. Yes, that is what everyone in this book needs, professional treatment.
Once the whole plan begins to unravel and it's clear who's pulling the coat strings, the whole story picks up and starts moving really fast. I can't say that I blame Heather for her feelings but good lordt, her actions were horrible.
One-Word Summary: DAMN!
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mxstellatayte · 6 months ago
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fuck me up, florida.
warnings: angst for the majority of it, sex at the end though, legal use of alcohol (reader and logan are both 23,) mentions of gunshot wounds, minor character death, based on a taylor swift song, childhood (middle/high school) friends to lovers, idiots in love, "you came" "you called," reader is half mexican (mom's side), slightly inaccurate bc i know carola wasn't at the miami gp but just go with it for the plot, reader's last name is rodriguez,
author's note: y'all i apologize if any of the spanish grammar is a little weird. my spanish is rusty, pls don't hate me for it
logan sargeant x female reader
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i need to forget so
tuesday, april 30th.
you scan your ticket, the screen displaying your name and seat number. 12A. at least it'll be easy to sleep, you think.
after shoving your suitcase above your seat, you shuffle your way to the window and buckle yourself in.
are you really doing this? flying a couple thousand miles to visit your childhood best friend who, up until recently, had you convinced that his newfound fame that he'd gathered by announcing his enrollment in the williams driver's academy made him too good for you.
the only thing that made you think otherwise was the instagram dm he'd sent you five weeks prior, asking if you'd be able to make it to the miami grand prix. instead of a simple yes or no, you responded with the heaviest three words you've ever seen in order.
can we call?
logan picked up on the second ring.
"hey."
"hey."
"how's texas?"
you smile. "hot. sunny. flat. beachless."
"so... it's good?" you hate that you can still picture his facial expressions even after not seeing him for years except for on tv.
"'s okay, but it's not home, y'know?"
"definitely. it doesn't matter how much i decorate my place in england, it's never florida."
"nothing besides florida is ever florida," you sigh, looking out the window of your apartment. "how's the season been?" you don't exactly know why you're asking. you know exactly how his season's gone. you keep every single detail of every single race weekend meticulously catalogued in a journal that you take everywhere with you. no matter what, you've stayed up late or woken up early to watch every race, as if your hopeful energy would make its way across the world to him in time.
"honestly? it's been pretty shit. the car handles really badly and wasn't really even ready for the first few hours of testing in bahrain. i can't get it to perform and maybe that's just because i haven't linked with the car yet, but it still really sucks."
you sigh, hoping logan can't tell how disappointed you are with his team and engineers. "you need a better team, lo."
"i know." there's silence between you for a few moments, and every second that passes makes it grow heavier on your chest. "will you come to miami?"
there it is. the reason you called him.
"i don't know, lo. don't get me wrong, i'd love to, but it's really short notice and i don't know if i could afford the trip. i might be able to make it to austin, but i'll need the time to save the money for the trip."
"i'll fly you out," logan immediately says, his tone almost desperate. longing. "i'll pay for your flight, your hotel, everything. please?"
that last word hit you like a punch in the gut. you only had one more reason to not go and you weren't about to tell him that reason. it was a shitty excuse anyways.
you're not about to tell him that the reason you moved to texas was to give him the space he needed to be able to succeed in his career and for you to succeed in yours.
take me to florida
you're jolted awake by the force of the plane landing, if you can call the awkward limbo you were stuck in sleep. immediately, your stomach twists with anxiety. logan had offered to pick you up from the airport, but you refused.
"i'll just take an uber," you'd said. "i'm gonna want to relax a bit after the flight, y'know?"
his only trade-off? you met him for dinner. simple enough, right?
in theory.
now, standing in front of the full-length mirror in your hotel room, you debate between a floral sundress and a pair of denim shorts, a tank top, and a white button-up t-shirt with a colorful inkblot pattern.
you decide on the sundress.
fifteen minutes later, you're pushing earrings through your piercings, silver abstract shapes you'd bought on a trip to europe with your mother. you have to leave, but the situation you're in sucks. your hair won't sit right on your head, either being too frizzy from the humidity or losing any and all volume, and your makeup just doesn't seem like it'll last in the miami heat.
fuck it.
who are you dressing for, anyways?
logan's seen you at your absolute worst. he was the only one you let yourself cry in front of after your father died. he was the one that held you for what seemed like hours while you sobbed into his chest and he told you that none of it was your fault- that you never could have known that, when you hugged him before he left for the police station, told him you loved him, and slipped a note into his lunch box, the next time you would see him, he would be laying in a casket. he was the only one that could make you smile in the weeks following his funeral, dropping his entire schedule if you simply sent him a text that said "can you come over?"
the restaurant logan found isn't too far from your hotel, so you ultimately decide to walk. your walk is over before you're able to process that it even started and you're taking out your earbuds and putting them in your bag, taking out your phone instead to text logan.
i'm here.
i've got some regrets
were you always this breathtakingly beautiful?
logan's phone buzzes in his front pocket, but he knows it's you texting him. he doesn't even bother taking it out of his pocket before standing up from his seat at the bar and walking over to you, and when you see him, your smile almost makes his heart melt.
"hey," he says, and he hopes his voice doesn't waver from how nervous he is.
"hey. i missed you," you respond, dodging the hand he holds out and going in for a hug. "i've known you since middle school, logan, i'm not shaking your hand."
your arms around him and your body pressed against his almost makes logan short circuit. thankfully, he's able to regain control of his brain and hug you back, hopefully before you realize he isn't hugging you back.
when you pull back, the hug seeming way too brief for logan's preference, you're looking up and smiling with a sparkle in your eyes that makes him regret not making enough time for you. "thanks for bringing me out here."
"thanks for coming. do you want a drink?"
"sure. do you have a table yet?"
"i was waiting for you."
"in that case, lead the way." you gesture towards the restaurant, and logan shows you to a booth in the corner. soon enough, a waiter comes over to you and sets down two glasses of water and two menus.
"welcome in, y'all. do we need a bit of time to look at the menu or do we know what we want to get started?" his southern drawl is thick, and it reminds you of texas. but you're in florida now.
"i think we'll look at the menu for a minute, thanks," logan says, and the waiter nods and walks away. as you open the menu and begin looking, logan points out something you might like and you do the same for him. conversation begins to flow freely between you, and it reminds you of the times in high school when you would go out with friends.
eventually, you decide on a plate of nachos and logan gets a plate of wings. as you wait for your food, you catch up on everything: your move to texas, logan's racing career, your work volunteering with the austin philharmonic, his homesickness from living in england, and everything in between. you crack stupid jokes, share bites of food, and steal sips of each other's drinks.
it's like old times.
i'll bury them in florida
on wednesday, you and logan drive up to visit your father's headstone. it's difficult. it's only the third time you've visited him since he was buried three years ago. the first time you visited him was a year after he died. even a year later, you still carried so much anger and hatred towards the doctors and nurses that were operating on him, trying desperately to save his life after two bullets hit him- one in his leg, one in his torso.
he died on the table.
the second time was just a few months after, and you were still wearing your cap, gown, and stole from your graduation ceremony. by then, you had been able to forgive the doctors and had graduated in the top 10% of your class. four years of hell had finally rewarded you with a degree in instrumental performance and an internship at the south florida symphony orchestra.
now, the third time, you have a picnic blanket and lunch packed into the backseat of logan's car, the windows are rolled down, and your favorite playlist is shuffled on the aux. it's a beautiful day, too; it isn't too hot (even with the humidity,) there's a gentle breeze in the air, and clouds occasionally cover the sun. when logan pulls into the parking lot of the cemetery and you sling your tote bag full of food over your shoulder, your hands start shaking.
of course, logan notices.
his hand slides into your own, and you look up at him. his eyes meet yours and you smile. "thank you for coming with me," you say.
"of course. i didn't want you to have to do this alone."
you look back at the gate into the cemetery, the black bars menacingly sleek and very, very terrifying. you chew your lower lip in anxiety. "i don't know if i can do it, logan."
"i'm here with you. i know you. you're strong. you aren't the kind of person to let a gate scare you." you laugh lightly, looking down at the ground. the gravel of the parking lot, your scuffed, beat-up high top purple converse, and logan's nike dunks make up what you have to describe as a perfect picture. your phone is in your free hand before you know it, and you're lining up the shot. "still into photography, huh?"
"yep. i have some cameras in my suitcase at the hotel." when you pocket your phone and look back up at him, logan's heart melts. the shine in your eyes and the passion in your smile is enough to soften anyone's heart, but for him, as someone who's known you for years and has been there for you through thick and thin, it touches him in such a special way. "i'm hoping to get some good photos of the races. but enough delaying. let's go visit my dad."
the creak of the gates opening makes your ears bleed, and you laugh at how logan is making the exact same face as you in reaction to such a shrill sound. despite only having visited his headstone twice before, you remember exactly where in the cemetery it is and are able to find it within five minutes.
"hi, dad," you begin, your voice already wavering just the slightest and tears beginning to well in your eyes. logan's hand squeezes yours, though, and you're reminded that he's right there. he always will be. you take a deep breath and continue. "i miss you. we all do. i know i haven't visited you in a while, and i'm sorry about that. i really do have to come stop by every now and then. i moved to austin and have a volunteering gig with the austin philharmonic at almost every show and i have a job at a company that helps students with learning disabilities learn instruments. it's really fun." you pause to wipe the tears off of your cheeks, your nose beginning to drip. "sam is in his junior year of college, and he's majoring in engineering. he flew the coop, but he still comes home for the summers. he, uh, he actually got in to c.u. boulder, like he always talked about. that kid was always thinking about college, even in middle school.
"i'm actually here with logan, too, if you hadn't noticed. do you, uh, do you want to fill him in on what's going on with you, or should i keep going?"
"whatever you prefer."
"okay, i'm going to keep talking, because i think if i don't, i'm going to completely break down. logan finally signed with williams to drive on their formula 1 team last year, like i always said he would. i'm really proud of him and really regret not telling him that more, and now that i'm saying it out loud i'm promising both you and him that i'll tell him that more often. the race this weekend is actually here, in florida. miami, specifically. it's always a celebrity shit show that no one really wants to see, but it's the main opportunity for the celebrity sponsors to actually go to a race.
"what else has been going on? oh, mom is still a therapist. i can't tell you much about that because of hipaa, but she always comes home saying that she's glad that she could help someone. i'm gonna have dinner with her tomorrow night, and then i'm going back into miami to watch logan's practice sessions."
you pause your rambling, thinking about what there is to say next, but your thought is interrupted by your stomach grumbling. loud. you and logan laugh just as loudly, the sound echoing through the grass field and stone gravesites. "oh, yeah, that's another thing. we brought lunch. i also got you pink tulips, because i know they're your favorite." you delicately rest the bouquet on your father's headstone as you sit down, then pull out the different plastic containers filled with food you'd stolen from the williams hospitality. "you'd be proud of me, dad. i smuggled this entire picnic out of the wiliams motorhome without a hiccup. robin hood style."
logan laughs, and you turn to him. he's mirrored your position, sitting cross-legged on the grass. "apple?"
"nah, i'm gonna start with my sandwich. i did grab you some of the salt and vinegar chips i know you like."
the look logan gives you can only be described as pure adoration. "you," he says, pointing a finger at you in an incredibly sassy manner, "are an absolute goddess."
"i know," you respond cheekily, tossing some hair over your shoulder.
the banter between the two of you continues through your picnic, laughter and smiles erasing the dried tracks of tears on your cheeks and on logan's. you're almost able to forget where you are.
tell me i'm despicable
almost two hours later, the two of you are laying in a nearby park underneath a tree, peacefully observing the clouds that pass overhead and talking even more about any topic that comes to your mind. the question that's been gnawing at you since your plane landed in miami eventually bubbles to the surface, and it tumbles past your lips before you can stop it.
"did you ever wonder why i moved to texas?" you look to your left where logan rests, but he keeps looking up at the sky. you mirror him.
"i always assumed it was just because you needed a change of scenery. after everything that happened and your music career taking off, it would make sense that you would relocate to somewhere better suited for you."
"that's the thing, though. if i'm being entirely honest with you, lo, i hate texas. i hate the whole state. i hate how hot it is all the time without even being humid, i hate not being able to go to the beach. i hate how dry it is. i hate how flat it is. i hate the monotony of it. i hate not being here."
logan hesitates for a moment before speaking, and it's the longest moment you've ever experienced. "why did you move to austin, then?"
when he looks over at you, you're chewing your lower lip. it's a nervous tic, logan's noticed. he's not even sure if you know you do it. "honestly? i thought you moved on from our friendship. i thought everything with f1 suddenly got so big and important and famous that maybe i wasn't... enough? i thought that being a police officer's daughter from the same town as you that was studying to teach people how to understand and play music maybe just wasn't cool enough to be friends with a world-renowned formula 1 driver."
logan's heart almost shatters when he hears the weakness in your voice. you sound so broken and so alone. he knew that, when you lost your father, you isolated yourself from a lot of people, even your best friend from high school and through your first year of college. he was the only person outside of your immediate family that you spent a decent amount of time with, but when he was admitted to the driver's academy he had to move to england. he abandoned you.
"i didn't. i never forgot about you. sometimes i still look through the photos we have together because i miss you that much."
you sit up, tears pricking your eyes for the second time that day. "really?"
"yeah. maybe once a week?"
when you look down at logan, you're suddenly starstruck. you can't help but notice all of his little features that you wouldn't see if you didn't know to look for them. his freckles that are so light you'd have to squint to see them if you didn't know them like the back of your hand. the mole on his chin that he'd always been self-conscious about but you've always seen it as beautiful. the lines from where his eyes crinkle when he smiles. the annoyingly perfect flop of his hair that he's styled almost the exact same way since you started high school together. an urge you haven't felt in years suddenly bubbles, white-hot in the pit of your stomach, and it's boiling over before you can stop it. your eyes are closed and your lips are on his. finally. after years of wanting, of stares that lasted just a bit too long to be just friendly, of flushed faces and nervous excuses, you're finally kissing him.
but he's not kissing you back.
you pull back immediately, panicked that you read something wrong. you turn away, hiding your face in your hands out of shame. "shit, logan, i'm so sorry. i thought-"
"kiss me again." logan sits up, and when you turn around, the look he's giving you can only be described as completely and entirely fucked. you don't question his statement, just lean forward, placing your lips on his, and letting yourself melt. he moans softly into the kiss, his right arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you impossibly closer. when you pull away and open your eyes, your breath catches in your throat. he looks beautiful. his eyes remain closed, but when they flutter open, you see colors in them that you've never seen before. sure, you've always seen the darker rim of blue that outlines his irises, but now that you're so close to him, you can see the flecks of green and grey in them. it's the most stunning thing you've ever seen.
eventually, you break the silence between the two of you. "i've wanted to kiss you for so long," you whisper, so quiet you're not sure logan heard it.
but he did.
"me, too," he says, and after a beat of silence between you two, you both burst out laughing. the laugh he hears from you is the pure, bright laugh that logan's missed so dearly, the laugh that you only really let him hear. the laugh that has tears in your eyes and makes you snort because you're laughing so hard you can't even breathe properly.
eventually, when you're able to calm down, your head resting on logan's shoulder, your hand holding his, you're able to process what just happened. you just hope logan is processing it, too.
"we just kissed."
"yes. we did."
"how long have you held out on me?"
"since christmas of sophomore year. when you made me the chevron bracelet with my favorite colors."
you laugh, then lift your head to look at him. "i fell for you in october of that year. when you convinced your mom to drive two and a half hours for the marching band state finals. just so you could be there with me."
"god, we're idiots," logan laughs. you can't help but lean forward and press another kiss to his lips, lingering there and just breathing him in.
existing.
say it's unforgivable
the next two days fly by. thursday, you spend the day with your mother. she asks all sorts of questions as if she doesn't know the answers, and you answer each one with a smile on your face. when she asks about logan, you smile sheepishly. she figures out what the smile means.
"took you two long enough."
normally you'd still be in bed at 9:30 am on a friday, but today, you walk into the miami paddock clutching logan's hand for dear life. your neon green pass hangs from your neck, a white williams cap atop your head. you can't help but feel out of place, but someone calls logan's name and you both turn. your stomach drops when you see who's called his name. his hair is styled similarly to logan's, and he sports a papaya polo.
you'd know him anywhere. it's oscar piastri.
you're standing there a bit awkwardly as logan greets his friend, but your heart stops when oscar turns to you. "oscar, this is my girlfriend." he introduces you by your name to the mclaren driver and you wipe your hands on your denim shorts before shaking his hand firmly, exchanging "nice to meet you"s. the three of you chat for a few minutes before oscar is summoned by his pr manager.
"girlfriend, huh?" you look up at logan with a smile on your face, lacing his fingers with yours.
"i didn't mean to overstep, but i kind of assumed that's what this is now. is it?" he looks a bit nervous asking that, and if you thought your love for him couldn't grow any more, you thought wrong.
"that's absolutely what we are, lo. you're my boyfriend. i'm your girlfriend." you can tell just how hard logan's trying to not let the smile on his face show just how happy he is to hear you say that, and you stand on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips briefly. "you have a prep meeting to get to, don't you?"
"i do. come with me, though. i need to introduce you to alex and lily. she can show you around."
"sounds like a plan. i need to learn how to do all of..." you gesture around you, the white tents and media carts all seeming suddenly too intimidating. "...this."
logan laughs, placing a hand on the small of your back to guide you towards the williams hospitality. when you're next to him, though, despite the cameras around you and your proximity to some of the world's biggest stars, you feel safe and protected.
after meeting logan's teammate and the thai driver's girlfriend, who you quickly realize is one of the sweetest people you've ever had the pleasure of meeting, you're shown around the williams hospitality and, eventually, the paddock. lily introduces you to the other drivers' wives and girlfriends that have made it to the weekend, and when you hear a certain last name, your ears perk up.
"martinez? is she latina?"
"yeah," kika, pierre's girlfriend, says. "she's checo's wife. i'm pretty sure she's in the red bull hospitality right now, though."
"ah, speak of the devil," lily says. you see carola walking up to the five of you, alexandra ("please, honey, call me alex," she'd said, bringing you in for a kiss on your cheek,) having walked away to get a drink and escape into the sweet air conditioning. "carola, there's a new couple on the paddock."
"you're kidding," the latina answers, her accent apparent. "who?"
"logan found himself a girlfriend. allow me to introduce her." lily turns to you and introduces you by your full name, last name and all. it seems that carola has a similar reaction to your last name as you did to hers, and her head tilts to the side.
"ya no eres la única mexicana aquí," you say, and her eyebrows raise. (you aren't the only mexican here anymore.)
"hablas español, también?" (you speak spanish, too?) when you nod, her smile brightens. "hay, chica, creo que nosotras dos nos vamos a llevar muy bien." (oh, girl, i think we're going to get along very well.)
on saturday, you find yourself back in the williams motorhome, except this time, you wear a second badge, the neon green lanyard reading grid access in bold black lettering. like the day before, you clutch logan's hand for your own comfort until, much to your dismay, he's summoned for driver duties. you place a quick kiss on his cheek, and when you pull back, you aren't sure if the flush on his cheeks is from the affection or the miami heat. probably both.
"in case i don't see you before sprint. for luck."
"oh, you'll be in the garage. that's what this pass is for," logan says, holding your second badge in front of your face. "lily will show you where to go. i'll take a kiss anyways, though." you smile, stand on your toes, and kiss him, pulling back before he can wrap an arm around your waist. (that was a trick he very much enjoyed, as you'd learned the night before. there was something in him that needed you as close to him as possible, and it covered every nerve ending in your body in liquid fire.)
"off you go. you need to get race ready. i'll see you before you go out on the grid. don't worry." you gently shove him away with a smile, and you'd stare at him longer if your ankles weren't suddenly being attacked. you look down and squeal. "hi, leo! did your dad let you run free?" you squat down and scratch the mini daschund behind his disproportionally large ears, and he barks excitedly.
someone curses in french to your right, and you look up from the little golden ball of energy to see none other than charles leclerc frantically searching around. leo barks again, and the monégasque whips around, then locks eyes on you first, then his dog.
"merde, leo. you have too much energy for it being this early in the morning," he laughs as he walks over to you.
"i apologize, it appears i've unintentionally kidnapped your dog." you stand, and leo jumps at your calves again.
"ah, no harm, no foul," charles replies, picking up his dog and holding him close to his chest. "i will say, though, you look strangely familiar. have we met? my name is charles."
"we have not." you extend your hand and offer your name, and, when charles' eyebrows furrow and his head tilts in confusion, you realize that means nothing to him. "i'm logan's girlfriend."
"ah! yes, of course! he has a photo of the two of you at your high school graduation in his wallet. that's where i knew you from. well, it's nice to meet you!" that was news to you. logan has a picture of you in his wallet? either way, you just casually met one of the most famous people in the world like it was a standard tuesday.
if this is what i signed up for by being logan's girlfriend, then it is absolutely wild.
you're able to catch another good luck kiss with logan as he's almost fully suited up, and fuck, does he look good. his fireproof suit hangs low on his hips, the arms tied together in front of him. dark blue is a good color on him, and his facial hair is grown out in just the slightest. you can't lie, he looks hot as hell.
you cross your legs in an attempt to curb the heat that creeps down your tummy and between them. it doesn't work.
you amend it that night in logan's hotel room following his p10 in the sprint.
on sunday, you try to avoid thinking about the night before as you follow the same routine as the two days before- arriving early in the day, checking in at the williams motorhome, and then killing time until the driver's parade at 2:00 PM. you spend time with your new group of friends, spending the three remaining hours before the parade in the paddock club. rebecca, carlos' girlfriend, snickers at your shocked face when you see some of your idols and favorite celebrities casually walking around, gladly taking some photos for you as you're practically buzzing with excitement.
after the driver's parade, it's a whirlwind. you're swept back into the williams garage and find logan's driver's room relatively easily thanks to the help of some of the engineers and mechanics, but one of them stops you before you can venture too far into the depths of the hallways.
"could you tell him we have the pre-race strategy meeting in twenty minutes?"
"yeah, for sure." as you approach logan's door, you have to bite down on your lower lip to stifle the grin that wants to split your face. you knock on his door, and when he opens it, you know something's wrong. "lo, are you okay?" his eyes are red and his hand shakes on the doorknob. instead of a verbal response, he just opens the door a bit further to let you in, and, as soon as it shuts behind you, he sobs, and your heart shatters.
"i'm so scared. i'm so scared that something's going to happen and i'm going to let all of these people down and-" you gather him into your arms and he cries into the crook of your neck, your williams crewneck shirt now damp with his tears. you couldn't care less.
"you're going to do amazing, logie. i know you will." with your arms wrapped around him, it's almost like a weighted blanket of safety has encompassed him, and his sobs slow, his breaths growing deeper and more even. you continue murmuring words of confidence into his shoulder, and not a single word you say is empty.
"hey. look at me." you lean back and gently cup his cheek with your right palm, and when his eyes meet yours, you know that he needed to cry that one out. "do you feel a little bit better?" logan nods, tilting his head ever so slightly to kiss your palm, his own hand coming up to rest over yours. it's a cute, sappy, stupidly romantic moment that you from three weeks ago would've probably thought was the grossest thing known to mankind, but you can't help but bask in the moment. "is there anything i can do to help you feel better right now?" your voice is a soothing balm over logan's agitated nerves, and he slowly untangles himself from you and guides you over to the couch that's against the back wall, where he sits down and you curl up to his left side.
"can you just... talk? about anything?"
"are you seriously asking if me, the person with the most rampant adhd you've ever met, can talk about something? yes, logan, i absolutely can. what to talk about, though?"
as you talk, deciding to info dump about your favorite classical music piece, logan can't help but watch it unfold. he doesn't know jack shit about music theory, but listening to you ramble about something you're passionate about brings him so much peace. you're disturbed about fifteen minutes later by a knock at the door, promptly followed by a disembodied voice telling logan that it was time for the strategy meeting.
"aw, shit," he says, leaning his head back and rubbing at his eyes. "i have that to go to now."
"yeah, sorry. i was supposed to tell you about that but we had a bigger problem on our hands." your voice is sheepish now that your info dump has been cut short, but logan leans over to you and kisses you, soft and slow, just like the first time he kissed you properly in the park. when he pulls away, he looks so much calmer than he was twenty minutes before. "is there anything else i can do?"
"go have some fun in the paddock. and please drink some water." you roll your eyes and stand, bringing him in for another hug before you slip out of the door.
almost two hours later, you're back in the williams garage with a guest headset over your ears. your stomach twists with nerves as the national anthem concludes. lily's hand is clasped with yours.
"the first lap is the worst. after that, you lose a lot of the anxiety," she assures you, noticing how you chew your lower lip.
"thanks." you pause for a moment, contemplating another question. "does it ever get easier? seeing how they go out there and drive like absolute maniacs for fun?"
"it does. it took me a couple of months, but after alex showed me all of the safety features in the car and in his fireproofs, it definitely helped."
it's the moment you've been dreading.
one red light.
two.
three.
four.
five.
and then none.
the engines roar and the race has begun. lily didn't lie to you- the first lap is excruciatingly long, but when everyone's completed their first loop around the circuit, you let yourself breathe. your eyes are trained on the screen above you, and the laps are flying by so quickly that you barely process that the race is nearly halfway over.
but then logan's car is in the wall. fuck.
as you watch the replay of his crash, you can feel white-hot rage burning in your body. after the race stewards only declare a ten-second penalty and two super license points, though, you're fuming. "two penalty points and a ten-second penalty? magnussen caused logan's race to end, and they just let him go? they just forgive him and move on? how can he get away with that? this is bullshit!"
what a crash, what a rush
the first person logan looks for when he walks back into the williams garage, his visor still low over his eyes in shame, is you. when you see him walking towards the room where you and lily watch the race, you tear the headset off of your ears and run to him. the feeling of his arms wrapping around your shoulders and hearing his heartbeat even through your musician's earplugs soothes your agitated nerves. he's okay. he's alive. he isn't hurt. "thank fuck you're okay," you say, even though he definitely can't hear you through his helmet and over the roar of passing engines. when you pull away, you press a kiss to his knuckles and hope he understands how much love you're trying to convey through such a small gesture.
fuck me up, florida!
one of logan's best friends on the grid is oscar. oscar's teammate got his maiden win after almost five years of waiting in miami.
like any sensible person, you celebrate with him.
you have no idea what the name of the club is, much less how many drinks you've had so far, but what you do know is that lando has commandeered the dj station and logan is pressed against your back, his hands resting on your hips. the air is hot and thick, your heartbeat pounds in your head. the opening notes of bad bunny's tití me preguntó begin playing through the massive speakers, and you shoot a glare up to lando that he doesn't see, his focus instead on the equipment in front of him. when the bass hits, though, you let all apprehensiveness go and your genetics take the reins. your hips sway and swing to the beat, your hands wander up and down your torso, and logan simply follows your lead. it takes you a moment to realize that, if you want to get a rise out of him, you're going to have to spin around and face him.
with your hips swaying against his and how unbearably beautiful you look in the dim light, your skin glowing with sweat and your hair up in a high ponytail, logan can't help but lean down and kiss you when you finally turn around. you reciprocate gladly, your right leg slotting between both of his, and...
oh.
oh.
he's hard.
you pull away slightly, barely an inch between your lips. "slow your roll there, tiger."
"i don't want to." fire zips down your spine at the sound of his voice, low and breathy and so, so desperate. "need to fuck you."
"should we get outta here, then?"
"i thought you'd never ask." you smile and kiss him quickly, then take his hand and weave your way through the crowded dance floor. as the miami night air hits your face, you immediately feel cooler. you sigh, taking a moment to breathe and regulate your heart rate and body temperature, but you can't breathe for that long before logan wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you back against him and kissing your neck. you laugh, running your hands along his forearms.
"logan, not here. the hotel is two blocks away."
"i can't help it, baby, you just look so pretty," he hums, kissing the back of your neck once more before pulling away and stepping around to face you. "you look so pretty, and you're mine."
his possessiveness of you makes more heat zip down your spine, and you almost drool at how he's looking at you. his eyes, normally a beautiful mix between the blues of the sky and sea, ar"e almost completely dark, only a small sliver of his irises remaining, and the muscles in his jaw tick. "hotel. now."
by the time you reach the door to logan's hotel room, you're both out of breath from how hard he kissed you in the elevator and the arousal and need between your legs won't be stopped unless he replaces it. you stumble through the door and try to kiss logan again, matching the vigor he showed you in the elevator, but he stops you. "wanna take my time with you tonight."
"yeah?" you raise an eyebrow and inspect his face. the blinds are open but no lights are on, so all you can see is the side of his face that's illuminated by the lights from the streets of miami. it's an unusually beautiful sight.
"yeah. nothing about what i'm about to do to you is going to be fast. i'm gonna make you feel good tonight. how's that sound?"
"that sounds amazing, logan." you lean forward and kiss him gently, your lips slotting together as if you were made for each other. who knows, maybe you were. the next five minutes are a blur, but before you know it, you're laying back against the pillows on logan's bed and his face is buried between your thighs, his tongue working magic on your clit. the air in the hotel room is filled with your moans and the sounds of logan devouring you like a man starved, and it's the most beautiful mix of sounds you've ever heard. when he flicks his tongue oh-so-perfectly against your entrance, his nose brushing over your clit, you moan and pull his hair hard, which, in turn, makes him moan against you.
you aren't sure how much time passes or how many orgasms logan pulls from you with just his tongue and his fingers, but when you feel completely and entirely spent, your chest heaving and your hairline sparkling with tiny beads of sweat, you pull logan up to you by his shoulders, and he looks completely and entirely fucked. "need you inside of me," you mumble, wiping at the mix of spit and cum that coats the entire bottom half of his face with your thumbs. as if on instinct, you bring your hands to your mouth and lick them clean, and logan groans at the sight. "inside. now."
"as you wish, baby." logan's hands fumble at his boxers, the only item of clothing he was left wearing, and when he finally, finally pushes himself into you, you both moan. your hands scrabble at his shoulders and back, most definitely leaving red marks that will raise later, and his mouth latches onto your neck, biting down and then gently kissing over the red spot.
"nngh, lo-" your brain is short circuiting, logan's cock filling you up so perfectly and absolutely ruining you for any other man ever.
"yeah? you okay, baby?" he pulls back from your neck and scans your face for any sign of discomfort of pain, his sky blue eyes searching your own. the feeling of safety you get from just that one action is almost enough to make you sob from how good you feel because of him, both physically and emotionally.
"feels so good, lo. j'st... move, please."
"you sure? i don't wanna hurt you."
"positive. now please." you reach a hand up and pull him down towards you by the back of his neck, tangling your fingers in his hair and pulling hard. "fuck me properly." without wasting a second, logan reaches a hand down and hooks it under your left thigh, bringing your leg up to rest around his waist, then pulling back and thrusting back in fast. the moan that rips itself from your throat is sinful, and your breath is being punched from your lungs at the downright brutal pace logan's setting. your right leg finds itself locking around his waist, only bringing him infinitely closer, and now, each time he thrusts back into you, your clit bumps against his pelvis. within minutes, you're embarrassingly close to cumming again, and through your garbled mumbling and clawing at his shoulders, he understands, reaching his right hand down to gently press against your clit.
"cum for me, baby, please, need to feel you cum for me just one more time, just let go, i've got you." it's logan's voice that ultimately sends you pummelling over the edge into an orgasm that makes your back arch and your vision fuzz at the edges, and you cum with a cry of his name. his hips slow and his fingers maintain a steady rhythm on your clit, but you can tell it's taking its toll on him. "where- where do you want me to cum?"
"i'm on the pill, lo. inside, baby, please," you whine, and it takes two more thrusts before logan groans, his hips coming to a shuddering halt as he cums inside of you. it's a beautiful sight, too- his eyes scrunched closed and his eyebrows drawn together, his hair a complete mess from where your hands had pulled at it. your hands run through his hair and along his back, and you patiently wait as he comes back to earth.
"hi," he murmurs, opening his eyes and smiling down at you.
"hi," you respond.
no other words need to be said. you know you love him, and he knows he loves you.
and you're both okay with that.
this took me way longer to write than i thought it would, but i absolutely love it! reminder that my asks and requests are open, and i always get excited when i get feedback! take care of urselves lovies <3
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bookcoversonly · 1 year ago
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Title: Can't Look Away | Author: Carola Lovering | Publisher: St. Martin's Press (2022)
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