#Carlos did seem pissy

[thearchercore]

What’s funniest to me about the cool-down room and Max getting pissy with Carlos is how much anger there seems to be behind it. He doesn’t just say it off handedly like he did in the previous cool-down room where he was with Carlos and also said that he struggled a bit, he genuinely looks pissed off and like he wants Carlos to know that he’s insulting him and then Checo I just there, saucy as ever, hands on hips staring Carlos down and it’s not like Checo doesn’t realise what max has said was insulting (because it is) but he isn’t satisfied so he goes in further with the “Charles was strong eh?” In the same breath as Max going “you struggled”. They all knew who should have been on that podium. My personal belief is that Max at least but now apparently Checo too are very aware of the drama in the media and how everyone seems so hellbent on the dragging Charles agenda and they are there to set the record straight in front of cameras but also to Carlos himself.

Also, max would never say something like this to Charles. Ever. If he would it would be a question but in all their interactions I ont think we have ever seen Max say anything to that effect to Charles because the fact is, in his mind, Charles could never struggle and any “struggle” he has is due to outside factors so he would say something like “the tyres had no grip/ the strategy wasn’t good”

"Checo, saucy as ever, hands on hips staring Carlos down" oh the cunty checo stance was so funny, i didnt know he would go off like that and bring up charles 5 seconds in

like he had THINGS to say

[welcometololaland]

i'm so sorry, i know its friday here but hear me out!!! in compensation, i offer two snippets. one from eurotrip (rwrb) (please scroll for RWRB!), the other from my tarlos collab with the amazing @strandnreyes (please read her lil snippet if you haven't!!!)

PET STORE (TARLOS)

“Is it normal to name fish?” TK continues, straightening up. “Or is that not a thing fish owners do?” Carlos can’t stop the smile that stretches across his lips as he watches TK tap his card on the reader. He’s possibly the most adorable being Carlos has ever known, which is saying a lot because Carlos has met a lot of cute beings. “I think it’s nice,” he replies. “It gives them personality.” TK hums as he retracts his card. “Are you going to ask what I named the goldfish?” Carlos laughs softly, printing a receipt and handing it over, trying not to gasp as their skin touches briefly. “What did you name the fantail, TK?” TK looks at him, all green eyes and gorgeous lips stretched into a grin. “Carlos.” “Carlos?” Carlos asks, wondering if his face looks as pathetic as he feels. “Why would you name it that?” “Oh, I know a guy.” Carlos bites his lip and looks down at the counter. This has to be flirting. It feels like flirting. He desperately wants to ask TK if he’d like to go out for dinner, or maybe make out in the middle of his place of employment. There’s a staff room he could lead them to, although Sharon probably has a camera or five set up in there.  Instead, he says, “I think your goldfish is a female.”

EUROTRIP (RWRB)

“Just move the fucking bed, Henry.” “Right, yes.” After another minute of awkward manoeuvring, Alex hitting his head on a wooden slat and Henry apologising profusely, the phone is freed from between the wall and the bed frame and drops into Alex’s outstretched hand. He wiggles out from under the bed, victoriously clutching it in his fingers, before collapsing onto the mattress with an exaggerated sigh. “That will teach you not to fall asleep watching porn in bed,” he jokes, revelling in the flush that colours Henry’s cheeks. It’s become a staple of this trip and Alex thinks it’s so achingly beautiful that he’s started taking every opportunity to make it appear. “I wasn’t— You’re a plague on this earth,” Henry stammers, taking his phone from Alex’s hand before perching himself on his own bed, facing Alex as if they’re bunkmates on a school camp, about to tell each other their deepest, darkest secrets. “Thank you. Really.” “No problem,” Alex says as he leans backwards, resting his elbows on the bedspread. “So…” “So,” Henry repeats, almost shyly. “I—” “We—” They laugh awkwardly, Henry running a hand through his hair as Alex bites his lip. He doesn’t know where the hell either of them are going with this, but he gestures for Henry to go first and watches him wring his hands in his lap. “I just wanted to ask,” Henry says, looking down at his lap before allowing his eyes to flick upwards to Alex’s face. “What’s going on? Why do you seem so…” “Pissy?” “Yes,” Henry replies, huffing a laugh and giving Alex a tentative smile. “That.”

thanks for the tags under the cut and I TAG EVERYONE BACK WHO TAGGED ME FOR SEVEN SENTENCE SUNDAY, DON'T FORGET!!!! also @rmd-writes who didn't tag me but I pressure and also @herefortarlos because i see you writing and i want it and @happiness-of-the-pursuit because i am still crying over my little lola rat <3

@mikibwrites @carlos-tk @birdclowns @reyesstrand @freneticfloetry @affectionatelyrs @wandering-night19 @inexplicablymine @lemonlyman-dotcom @hippolotamus @eclectic-sassycoweyes @carlos-in-glasses @alrightbuckaroo @inflarescent @cha-melodius @tintagel-or-cockleshells @strandnreyes @littlemisskittentoes @sherryvalli @clottedcreamfudge @kiwiana-writes @heartstringsduet and @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

[c2-eh]

It's quite interesting to see the reaction of most charlos fans here, because whenever it was carlos saying shit or doing shit on the race I don't remember half of this reaction.

carlos had a bad behavior on track, causing contact and risking a dnf, overtaking out of track all when they had previously agreed to use that beginning to save tires. the way carlos reacted to lewis overtake on him is how he would react if charles was the one doing the move today instead of him. So for him to go on and say charles always complain too much, when he himself spend half of the race complaining about Lewis move (that wasn't even as bad as carlos move) is hilarious. But I don't see any charlos speaking of any of that.

Now with charles words is an overreaction, calling him manipulative bitch, pissy spoiled, saying carlos family was right for saying he has no honor. I'm honeslty in shock with this reaction for what he said. I do think what he said was mean and unnecessary, but honestly? In 4 years together there where countless times where carlos did whatever he wanted and prejudiced charles (like the multiple times last year in quali when it was charles weekend to have priority and carlos didn't respect) and charles barely would say anything. Which some of you guys would use to show that everything was well because "look charles is not even mad!!! ". So maybe he got a bit tired of always smiling and waving and being the pr good guy while carlos could do and say whatever he wanted in post radio interviews.

But hey I think you guys are just proving people when they use to said most charlos fans are only carlos fans and charles is there just to be the other hot guy on the ship.

All in all I'm just sad with all of this because I will have a hard time ever enjoying charlos again after seeing the words charlos fans here were using it to call charles.

Okay now that i slept on it, I am gonna summarize my thoughts and this is the last time I am gonna talk about it, because I want to move on.

The thing with what happened yesterday in comparison to other times when Charles or Carlos were shady or rude to the media, is that it never felt personal. It was always a little comments here and there, but never such a dig. Imo, this wouldn't be such a big deal and people would maybe just shrug any other time, because it is all about the time and place. That is extremely important, because all this happening after Monaco (no, i am not saying Carlos helped Charles to win, it is purely about the difference in their attitudes and the striking contrast that makes most people really upset), it happening at Carlos' home race and him saying that during the situation in Carlos' career that is very delicate, so yeah in this case the comment was out of pocket. I saw people saying Charles said it to salvage and soften the blow of Carlos actually ignoring what they agreed on, and if that was a case then okay, could be! But it was very poorly executed. Going with a quote alone it was already eh, but the tone in which he said it was condescending. I did try to give him benefit of the doubt, he is a human being that makes mistakes and there are times you fuck up and hurt people (with or without realizing). I think he and Carlos will talk it out. This is their 4th year together and they are two grown men, I do not think that takes away from the fact they really seem to get on well off track. It is gonna be fine...

I like Charles and I won't turn against him for this one thing, it is just disappointing when I think about it and it will take a few days to digest, but it's okay! Is it really so wrong to be upset with something your fav did, you did not find nice? There are many instances and proofs Charles is very lovely and nice, and yeah he blew up yesterday and talked about the situation as if no one else mattered, but that happens. I hope he will reflect on it and yeah, that's that. He was on edge the whole weekend ngl.. maybe he truly didn't mean it and it just came out wrong, but that we will never know.

That little contact was insignificant and didn't change anything, so I wouldn't act like that was world breaking, but I guess it could have impact on how Charles felt, but as it was later confirmed there was no damage as Fred said it on the interview, and that touch did not cost him P4. That also comes into play with the whole situation, as it looks like Charles was lying and putting all blame on Carlos when in reality P4 was the best they could achieve (i'm saying looks like he was lying, because I am sure he just didn't see the data so he went with what he thought was true). Carlos saying Charles always complains was a reaction to him hearing what Charles said and imo you can see it quite hurt him to hear that. Could it be taken as him being mean too? Totally, however I think it was more of a defense mechanism... I do not really care about any complaining or whining on radio, from neither driver and I think hanging onto what is said in the car will never do anyone any good. You do not know a friend in that situation. And no, Carlos is not saint and they both have had their fair share of shitty situations and they will probably have more, but regarding the comments in media, I do not really remember Carlos being that condescending, even when pissed. A lot of Charles' own fans agree it was a bit too much.

I have never called him pissy, manipulative and I would never condone to liking hate tweets and I know many of other charlos girlies wouldn't either. Some for sure (e.g. those that were already pissed with monza '23), but not all... The majority of people I saw saying that was mostly Carlos' fans on twt, that have nothing to do with Charles... There is a difference in "dropping the pr" saying what you want and being respectful vs saying things that reflect poorly on you and make you look disrespectful, but it is done. It is understandable the fans are not happy with that.

Now, I am sorry, but I am so fcking tired of that argument, because if you wanna say things like that, I guarantee you that there are quite a lot of Charles' fans that like charlos only bc Carlos is a fuck toy. Do I complain about it 24/7? No. And this all is so stupid, bc the point is somewhere else. THIS is not about ships and fics, can we please differentiate that. This is about real people. This is not a ship war and this is not a time to be like "haha charlos' girlies downfall" "they were weird either way for liking the duo". Spare me.

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here bestie, here to pour ice cubes down the back of your office mate's shirt as well as anyone getting pissy in yours or others inboxes for daring to have an opinion the screentime usage on a supposed ensemble show. Seems like a perfect time to talk about the latest LS episode, so get ready my friend, I've got some opinions. So first the 4 things I liked, in no particular order were Captain Judd, Grace and Judd, the group sending pics to Marjan, Owen showing up to dinner. Now let's

talk about the rest of the episode where my thoughts fluctuated between "I don't give a shit" and "are you fucking kidding me". Let's start with the big, glaring issues. Did this fucking show, with all it's promotion of its diverse cast, just try to make the fucking nazi's sympathetic and victims? Fuck off show, the fact that the white supremacists didn't choose violence doesn't suddenly absolve them and make them good people. Violent racism may be on the rise, but by far the common and well practiced racism is institutional. I live in fucking Texas where we have such fabulous legal decisions like abortion bounties, only have 1 place to turn in mail-in ballots per county even if that county has millions of people, and saying its NOT actually necessary for outdoor workers to take a 10 minute water break every 4 hours, even if it's summer and temperatures reach 110+ degrees. Those last two heavily effect particular demographics and if you think the groups that vote for the people that allow those things to happen, that actively encourage it and condone it, are somehow redeemable because they didn't choose violence I have some choice words for you (sorry if that sentence made no sense, i lost some of my thoughts mid raging). To then top that off with a "let's give the violent white supremacist a sob story" and I'm officially disgusted. So yeah, anything tangentially related to this plot just didn't hit for me. And then we wasted so much of the last 6 episodes on this bullshit just to end with this makes me want set Tim's hair on fire. More minor complaints. We're a third of the way through the season and Mateo has had like 5 lines, do better show. And Carlos is just back to work and fine, sure, whatever. This is minor since I didn't expect them to address this till later, but we better get a nice looong conversation between him and his parents. Okay, bitching done, on to OG spec soon!!!

Hello my friend! I got this right before dinner last night and then I was out of spoons for the day but I am vibrating on like, 2000% of my normal serotonin thanks to OG, plus the hard mango soda I had when I got home because it was A Week, so I'm READY to do ALL OF THE THINGS! Also, I finally got to go home so I'm warm now because it was another freezing day in the office. I miss working at home 😭😭😭 ANYWAY, lets talk about LS so I can get to your OG ask because I have THOUGHTS!

This week did have some good stuff, more actually than I was expecting because we got the group being at least FINALLY involved in this plot. Captain Judd is my absolute beloved and I loved seeing a bit of his dynamic with Paul again (that ice storm arc was SO GOOD for them!). More Captain Judd if Owen is going to bitch about his job being the equivalent of being "benched". 🙄🙄🙄 Grace continues to be The Best and her and Judd's relationship is everything to me. I really enjoyed the team kinda goofing off but also getting reminded that the danger is real (also that little kid DID deserve an award!) because they ARE good in the field but that's not always enough. The group making sure to send their failure pics to Marjan is so on brand for them and I'm glad we at least got a mention that they're keeping in touch as promised. I love love love that Carlos and the 126 all got to be involved in this plot finally and we got to see an exciting emergency. I also ADORE little bitty TK holding on to his little bitty backpack straps. He's so pocket-sized and baby! I also really enjoyed Owen stopping by the loft and TK and Carlos making room for him. Judd wasn't wrong, he HAS been lonely and it was good to see him choosing to reach out to his son and work on that bonding instead of moping around at home. I'm really excited for dadzilla Owen and momzilla Andrea, it's gonna be a blast!

Now, as you said, for the not so good.

No only did the show try to make the group of nazis out to be the victims they also tried to make the young guy, who got kicked out of the nazi club for being too radical about wanting to DO nazi shit instead of just talking about it, into a victim because there was someone even WORSE and yeah he wanted to DO shit but maybe not that much. I mean, come on, poor kid just wanted to harass people trying to live their lives and protest people having rights because he doesn't like them, and maybe shout at some local politicians! He didn't want HIS family to get hurt in all that so now it's like, super sad and hard for him because his family is the one affected this time! Isn't he just the most victim-y victim to ever victim? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Sidebar, I just watched Bad Call, and like, THAT guy was a victim! He was picked up by bad guys, and forced to rob a bank while strapped to a bomb. You know who ISN'T a victim? Some white dude who was trying to make other people's lives miserable, and fucked around and found out! Zero sympathy.

The show wasted SO MUCH TIME on this plot and for what?! For them to make it seem like only one guy was a "bad apple" and all the other guys were victims? To kill off some rando woman that no one knew or cared about? Only to not even mention that it was Owen's fault she was in the building at all anyways because he couldn't keep his mouth shut?! For us to hear the writers say through Owen that being a fire captain is boring and they really wish they would have made this spinoff a police show instead?!?! The ONLY moderately enjoyable thing to come out of this storyline was Owen getting some funny quips and him and O'Brian being able to play off each other so well. Which, and I cannot stress this enough, could have happened around actual calls where Owen was doing his fucking job.

ANYWAY

Agreed that I'm TIRED of waiting for other characters billed and marketed as main characters to get more than a couple lines of "Yeah, Cap! On it, Cap!" so Owen can waste all the screen time doing NOT first responder work. And giving one "whole" episode to Marjan or Mateo or Paul or Carlos does NOT make up for them not having a consistent presence in every episode. Carlos had a HUGE trauma and it hasn't even come up in a background conversation for TWO EPISODES! Yes, I think it's going to come up more in depth later this season but zero follow up at all?! After he DIED?! Not even a single mention?! *Athena voice* InSANity. And it's doubly frustrating that this is still SUCH an issue so many seasons in, simply because the rest of the characters are so good that people are willing to put up with skipping Owen stuff so they can watch the rest of it. It has never made sense to me why shows talk down to/hate even slightly catering to their hardcore fanbase because those are the people that will make sure to tell EVERYONE about the show, and convince people to watch it with them, and will get the show talked about enough for journalists to write about it, and will KEEP the show going and talked about and beloved even after it's over!

Okay, I think I got it all out. Thanks as always for sharing your thoughts and coming over to be salty with me in my online living room. On a happier note, we finally have some good fucking food to talk about with OG so I'm gonna go work on that post next, and look forward to new LS being about Tommy!

[fcb-mv33]

Not to ruin the happy atmosphere but was I the only one sensing an attitude from Carlos? Like from how he was during the interview and saying Sergio was lucky (!) Dude your team made a mistake and the rivals had a better strategy and took advantage of it, wtf

Idk

Honestly i did a lil bit of a vibe but I think he was more so pissed he didn’t win….but with the way Ferrari are acting now I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the attitude we see from Carlos saying Checo was lucky doesn’t continue.

At the end of the day they dint seem to want to admit they fucked it up fir themselves. They lost a race and a 1-2 that they were in control off…its their own fault. Red Bull were just superior with their strategies and their drivers.

[maxbegone]

Oooh I have a headcanon that may or may not be controversial but I don't think TK told anybody explicitly about WHY they broke up- even his parents. Gwyn was probably either in the early stages of Jonah being born and TK didn't want to delve into it to worry her and he most def did not tell Owen bc Mateo lived in the house and neither of them can keep anything a secret. I really think they were both like "we broke up and leave it alone."

I don’t think this is controversial — I think this is exactly what happened. At one point in season two, Owen asks if he seems bristly, and who takes after him? His own son.

There is absolutely no way, no how, that TK told anyone what happened until after his coma. Everyone found out they broke up, likely staggered, pressing into the “why” of it all a little bit and TK flat-out refused to say anything (let’s be honest: he probably got pissy). And Carlos, who doesn’t communicate as well as he should, got closed off or at least reserved and just…never spoke of it. He didn’t tell his parents, so why would he walk about it to his friends once they knew?

I think you hit the nail on the head with this one, anon! I’m firmly in this boat if you’re the captain.

[bellakitse]

Dibs

“Do you remember when we met?” Carlos starts, and though confused by the change in conversation, TK nods.

“You called dibs on being my friend,” he chuckles at the memory.

*

TK and Carlos have been best friends since they were kids. An incident at work shows them they are so much more than that, and always have been.

For @insidious-intent, happy birthday my love!! 😘

“Are you going to stare at your phone all night?”

TK looks up at the question; warmth settles at his side as Carlos comes back from the bar and slides in next to him in the booth, across from them, Paul and Marjan roll their eyes in agreement to Carlos’ question. He might’ve been ignoring them to be on his phone, while Carlos went for a round of drinks.

“I’m sorry,” he says to his new teammates, Paul and Marjan, who recently joined the 126. The whole point of tonight was to make them feel welcomed, not ignore them. The rest of their team is around the bar, some dancing, some getting more drinks. “Family stuff,” he excuses himself before looking at Carlos with a raised eyebrow.

“I wouldn’t have to be on my phone if you just answered your mom and your sisters in the group chat,” he tells him, taking the water Carlos places in front of him before passing another to Marjan and a beer for Paul.

“They have been at it all afternoon,” Carlos all but whines. “I finally had to mute it.”

“And once you muted it, who do you think they started messaging?” he questions dryly, smirking when Carlos lets out a groan. “Exactly, sweetheart. So now I have to deal with them, thanks for that, by the way.”

“Your fault for being in a private group chat with them,” Carlos reminds him with the usual pissy attitude he gets when reminded there is a chat between the women in his life and him he’s not allowed to be a part of.

“You and his sisters are part of your own group chat?” Marjan questions with an arched eyebrow, sharing a pointed look with Paul.

TK nods even though he’s not sure what the look is about; he turns his phone in her direction. “I named it TK and the queens,’” he answers, grinning when Carlos snorts.

“Always sucking up to those terrors,” Carlos grumbles, and TK would maybe believe him if he didn’t know his friend since they were eight and nine, and knows how much Carlos adores his family.

“Anyway,” TK continues, purposely ignoring him, shifting when Carlos pokes him in the side once before settling next to him again. “When this one gets all ‘youngest child’ on the family, pouty and bratty. I’m the one they text to fix him.”

Carlos pokes him again twice, going in for a third.

“Poke me one more time, and I’m telling your mom,” he warns him, already typing into the chat. He presses sent a second after Carlos’ finger digs into his side, making him jump.

It takes less than a minute when Carlos’ phone starts rattling on the table, his mother’s face on the ID.

Carlos stares at him incredulously. “You really tattled to my Ma?”

“Her brat of a child is abusing me,” TK answers, grinning when Carlos rolls his eyes so hard he does it with his whole body. He watches as Carlos stands up, taking the phone with him to find a quieter spot to get lectured.

“I hate you,” Carlos tells him as he begins to walk away.

“You love me, I’m your favorite,” TK calls out to his retreating back, unable to keep the laughter from his voice. “Just like I’m your mom’s favorite, don’t be jealous, after eighteen years of knowing each other, you should just accept it!”

Carlos flips him off as he goes, and he lets out a bark of laughter, amused as always that he can rile him up. Still chuckling, he turns back towards his friends to find them watching him in a way that makes him sit up straighter.

“What?” he asks after a moment when neither speaks, and he can’t help but feel defensive when they share a look between them.

“You’ve known Carlos for eighteen years?” Paul questions, breaking the awkwardness that has settled over the table.

He nods, some of the uneasiness he felt moments ago lightening. “Dad and I moved down here when I was eight,” he starts. “We moved across the street from the Reyes – Carlos, his three sisters, and his mom Carlota. The evening we moved in, Carlota brought them over and some food to welcome us into the neighborhood. When Carlos saw me, he called dibs on being my friend,” he tells them, grinning at the memory. “He’s the youngest of four and the only boy. I guess he needed another boy to even the odds a bit. We’ve been best friends ever since.”

“And when did you guys start dating?” Marjan asks curiously.

TK rears back at the question, his brow knitting in the center. “We’re not dating,” he answers, his heart ticking upward as soon as the words leave his mouth. The look Marjan and Paul share again doesn’t help it. “Okay, what the hell is with the looks?” he questions. “This is like the third time you two have done that tonight.”

Marjan and Paul look at each other yet again, and TK has to bite down on his lip to keep from snapping at them, he likes them, and the last thing he wants is to get off on the wrong foot with his newest crew members.

“It’s just – “ Marjan starts hesitantly. “Kind of hard to believe that the two of you aren’t together?”

“Why do you say that?” he questions. He tells his stupid pulse to calm the fuck down.

This time when his friends look at each other, he can’t help the annoyed sound that escapes his throat. He’s had just about enough of that and the obvious silent conversation they’re having about him.

“Okay, okay,” Marjan starts, raising her hands in peace. “It’s just the way you two – “ she pauses.

“ – Act around each other, look at each other, talk to each other,” Paul continues for her, counting each comment off on his fingers.

“How do we – “ he starts, not knowing how to continue.

He feels his face go hot. It’s not exactly the first time someone has commented on his and Carlos’ closeness. They’ve been best friends since they were children, they’ve lived in each other’s pockets since the day they met. Even their families have made comments over the years, his dad, Carlos’ sisters, and his mother – who is convinced that someday she’s going to call him her son-in-law. It’s a running joke between all of them. But there is something about the way Marjan, but especially Paul, is looking at him that makes him hyperaware.

The reason his dad added Paul to their crew was that he seems to have some kind of sixth sense about things, and he can’t help but wonder if Paul can pick up on the more than friendly thoughts he’s been having lately about Carlos.

He’s not even sure when it started. Carlos has always been his best friend, his confidant. For as close as he’s always been with his dad. Carlos is who he goes to with his deepest secrets.

He’s who he first came out to as gay. Which turned into a mutual coming out when Carlos told him he liked boys too. He hugged him tight and promised it wouldn’t change their friendship.

He’s who TK turned to when he decided to get clean. Carlos held his hand every step of the way, and when he relapsed, he just held him in his arms that much harder. Carlos has been through every lousy break up he’s had, the worse being Alex.

Carlos Reyes is his best friend, but somewhere along the way, it’s turned into something more complicated, where his heart starts to race at the worst moments – pretty much any time he’s near him.

“It’s like you two are the only ones in the room,” Paul answers his unfinished question, and TK wishes he sounded teasing instead of soft as if he’s breaking news to him the gentlest way possible.

“We just assumed, TK,” Marjan says just as quiet, snapping him out of his racing thoughts.

“Well, you assumed wrong,” he tells them firmly. “We are just friends.” He’s not surprised by the look they give each other one more time at his words.

“Our mistake, man,” Paul says apologetically, Marjan nods along in agreement.

TK shrugs, giving them a smile that feels tight on his face. “Don’t worry about it.”

 ֍֍֍

 “Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”

TK looks over at Carlos; he’s been quiet the whole ride back to his apartment, it’s not surprising that Carlos picked up on it.

“Nothing,” he says, flashing Carlos a quick reassuring smile. “Tired, I guess. I just need my bed. Good night.”

He gets out of Carlos’ car, swallowing back the sigh that threatens to escape when he hears Carlos’ door open.

“You really think that’s going to work on me, Tyler Kennedy?”

He doesn’t swallow his groan; it’s automatic whenever Carlos uses his full name. He turns around and points at him with a glare. “I hate it when you call me that,” he says, lying. He does hate his full name, but hearing it off Carlos’ lips is one of the few instances that he doesn’t mind it, he might even like it.

Carlos doesn’t call him out on the lie; the look he gives him is enough. He sighs again as he goes to sit on the steps of his porch. Carlos follows, sitting down next to him.

“You have been quiet since I came back from talking to Mami,” Carlos says quietly. “Thanks for that, by the way, got lectured about being nice to you for a full fifteen minutes.”

TK smiles a real smile for the first time since the conversation with Paul and Marjan. “I’m her favorite,” he jokes.

Carlos snorts out a laugh. “Don’t sell yourself so short. You’re every Reyes favorite, Mami’s, Valentina’s, Sofía’s, Lola’s – “

“Yours?” he teases, his breath catching when Carlos looks at him in that way of his that TK feels deep inside. He has to remind himself that it doesn’t mean anything; it doesn’t mean what he wants it to mean.

“Of course,” Carlos says quietly, staring into his eyes. “I called dibs on you years ago. You’ve always been my favorite person.”

TK swallows hard at the sincerity and raw affection he sees in Carlos’ eyes. “You’re my favorite person too.”

Carlos smiles at him before opening his arms to him with a teasing look on his face that makes TK chuckle as he slides into his space. He lets out a sigh as Carlos’ arms come around him, feeling instantly at ease. It’s been like this since they were kids, whenever something was bothering him, Carlos’ hugs just made everything better.

“Thanks,” he whispers after a few minutes of comforting silence between them.

“Are you okay?” Carlos questions again when he pulls back from his arms.

With their faces this close, TK can make out the golden flecks in Carlos’ warm brown eyes. All his life, people have commented on his green eyes, telling him how beautiful they are, and yet to TK, there aren’t eyes more beautiful than the ones he’s looking into now.

“TK?” Carlos asks again.

TK licks his lips; he can feel all his feelings for Carlos bubbling to the surface until they’re on the tip of his tongue just dying to slip out. He could do it; he could lay his feelings out at their feet. No matter the answer, he knows Carlos would be kind.

“I’m okay,” he says instead, the smile he gives his friend feels strained. “Just tired. Really.”

Carlos looks doubtful, but he doesn’t push, like always he is patient with him the way few people are.

“Okay,” he says finally. He pulls him forward for another hug, and TK closes his eyes when he feels Carlos’ lips press lightly right at his hairline. “Get some rest,” he orders with a quirk of his lips as he gets up from the porch.

“Yes, officer,” TK mockingly salutes, getting an eye-roll in return.

“Such a brat,” Carlos murmurs fondly. “I’ll see you later.”

“Good night,” he says back quietly. He stays on the porch until Carlos is in his car, pulling out of the driveway. He ignores the small nagging voice in the back of his brain that tells him he should have told him the truth.

 ֍֍֍

 Due to their overlapping shifts, he doesn’t see Carlos again until two days later when they both answer to a possible home invasion. When he and the 126 get there, Carlos is already putting a man in the back of his squad car.

“Hey,” he calls out, a step behind his dad. “What’s up?”

Carlos nods towards his car. “Bruce Ackerman, early dementia. This used to be his house, he got confused tonight and broke in. The family that owns it now is locked in the bedroom.”

TK nods just as their radios come to life. They all listen as the 911 operator tells them there is someone inside suffering from cardiac arrest.

“Alright, team, you heard dispatch. We have someone down; let's get in there,” his dad calls out. “TK, you take the battering ram.”

TK gives his dad a nod, walking back to the rig; when he turns around, he finds Carlos next to him with a frown on his face.

“What’s wrong?” he questions quickly, needing to catch up with his team but not liking the look on Carlos’ face.

“We were told there’s a gun on the premises,” Carlos starts. TK nods, he heard that too. “Just be careful, okay?”

“Hey, you know me,” he tries to joke but finds himself swallowing hard when Carlos gives him a serious look. He holds his breath as Carlos takes a step forward and cups his cheek with his hand.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m saying it. I have a bad feeling about this one, Ty,” he tells him, running his thumb over his cheekbone. “So, for me, be careful.”

TK struggles to speak with Carlos looking at him like that, so in the end, he just finds himself nodding as he reaches up to touch the hand that’s holding him. “I promise.”

Carlos gives him a nod back before taking a step away from him. TK gives him one more look, his heart is racing, and he knows it’s not from the job like usual.  He walks away promising to himself the next time he’s alone with Carlos; he’s going to tell him how he feels and hope that maybe, just maybe, his friend feels the same.

The thought sticks with him as he and his team make their way inside the house, it lingers as they walk the narrow hall to the locked bedroom, and it continues to echo in his head as he uses the battering ram to open the door.

He sees the gun a second before the bullet hits him in the chest, he hears screams and shouts as his team rushes around him, but all he can see is his dad and the fear in his eyes, it’s a familiar look, and he hates that he’s put it there on his dad’s face yet again. In the middle of the chaos, he finds Carlos over his dad’s shoulder as he comes to a halt, his eyes are wide, and his breathing heavy. If it hurt him to see the fear in his father's eyes, it’s nothing compared to seeing it in Carlos’.

He opens his mouth but finds he can’t say anything, not when it’s all pain. He closes his eyes even as more than one person around him tells him to keep them open. He wants to, but they feel heavy. As he drifts off to sleep, the thought comes back one final time.

He should have told Carlos how he feels; he should have told him he loves him.

He dreams – he’s not sure of what, or for how long, but he dreams and listens. He hears his father, his team, Carlos’ mom, and his sisters. He hears them all, but mostly, he hears Carlos. The words are muffled like he’s under water, but still, under it all, he hears one thing clearly that makes him push for the surface.

‘I love you, TK, come back to me.’

 ֍֍֍

 He wakes up with a start; everything aches in a way that has never hurt before, especially when he tries to take a deep breath.

“Easy, TK, easy.”

“Dad?” he questions, wincing at the way the word makes his throat feel like it’s on fire. “Water?”

He watches through gritty eyes as his father moves around the room, getting him a glass.

“What happened?” he asks after taking a few sips. He leans back on the bed, already wiped out from just having to lift his head.

“What do you remember, son?” Owen asks as he sits next to him.

TK takes in his dad’s tired face, the worry in his clear eyes and frowns as he tries to think of the question. It starts to come back to him in flashes, the call, the house, the kid, the gun, and at the end, Carlos.

“I got shot,” he whispers, his chest giving a sharp ache at that moment to prove his statement.

Owen nods, and when he runs a hand through his hair, TK can see it shake. “Yeah, kid, you did. You’ve been asleep for the last four days. We’ve all been here waiting for you to wake up scared out of our minds.”

TK grips his father’s hand. “I’m sorry, dad.”

Owen shakes his head. “It’s not your fault, TK,” he tells him, leaning in to kiss him on the forehead.

“I’m just glad you’re okay. Everyone is going to be so happy you’re awake,” he says, a twinkle entering his eyes as he continues. “Especially a certain someone who has barely left this room or your side.”

TK looks up at his dad, hopeful. “Carlos? Where is he?”

“He stepped out for a moment to get coffee,” Owen tells him.

His father must see something in his expression; maybe he sees everything because he shakes his head, a soft smile on his face, and he thinks he hears him whisper ‘finally.’

“I’ll go get him,” he says, heading for the door. “And a doctor on the way, you just relax. I’ll be right back.”

TK gives him a nod, trying to calm his racing heart as he looks up at the ceiling and works to steady his breathing. More flashes of that night come to him, but through it all, what he sees the most is Carlos, his face before everything went dark.

“TK.”

He turns his head to find Carlos staring at him, his eyes are wide like that night – they hold the same fear too, but TK can also see relief and love in them.

“Hey,” he gets out with a wobbly smile when Carlos lets out a broken sob as he continues to lean against the door frame for support. “Come here.”

Carlos makes another hurt sound as he all but stumbles towards him.

He starts to sit up, it takes some effort, but Carlos’ hands are on him instantly to assist him. When he’s sitting upright, he taps on the space next to his hip, smiling when Carlos sits next to him.

“How do you feel?” Carlos asks him; there is a tremble in his voice that makes TK’s heart ache.

“I feel okay,” he answers. He takes in the bags under Carlos’ eyes, his usually beautiful glowing skin is ashen. “What about you?”

Carlos lets out an ugly snort at the question. “I wasn’t the one shot, Tyler.”

“No,” he concedes. He stops for a moment, taking a breath as he continues. “But you had to be the one to watch me in this bed. If it were you instead of me, I would have lost my mind.”

Carlos’ eyes shut, but it doesn’t stop a tear from sliding down his face. “I was so scared,” he whispers as he opens his eyes again to look at him. “You’re never allowed to scare me like this again.’

TK nods, feeling his own eyes sting. “I promise.”

“I mean it, TK,” Carlos warns him. “Never again, okay? I love you too much to lose you.”

TK’s breath catches; he looks into Carlos’ eyes and is sure his heart will stop from the love he finds in them. “I promise,” he says one more time.

 ֍֍֍

 The team decides to celebrate him getting out of the hospital with a party at his father’s house; they fill the place with friends, family, and enough of Carlota Reyes’ food to feed an army. There are enough people and chaos that they don’t notice when he slips outside, yet less then fifteen minutes later, Carlos walks out of the house too.

“Hey,” he says softly as Carlos sits down with him on the outside sofa his father has on the porch.

“Hey,” Carlos answers back just as quietly, looking at him with gentle concern. “Are you okay? I can take you back to your place if you’re tired out, everyone will understand.”

TK smiles at his friend, reaching out to take his hand. “I’m fine. I just needed some air. Your mom seems to think that the cure to getting shot is stuffing me full of food until I pop.”

Carlos smirks back at him, the corners of his eyes crinkling at the edges. “You say that like it’s a revelation, you’re not new. You know how my mother operates.”

“This is true,” he says with a laugh. He leans back, tilting his head up. He feels Carlos shift, and he’s not all that surprised when he touches him. His fingers run over the side of his neck, his cheek, his brow. TK lets out a soft exhale at Carlos’ gentleness; he turns his head to find Carlos looking at him intently.

“I almost lost you,” Carlos says quietly, his brown eyes shining with unshed tears.

TK looks at his friend, taking all of him in, the affection in his touch, the worry in his words, and the love in his gaze.

 “Do you remember the other night when you took me home after hanging out with the crew?” he starts. “You knew something was bothering me, but I didn’t want to tell you what.”

 He watches as Carlos frowns even as he gives him a nod. He licks his lips nervously as he takes a moment to steady his racing, hopeful heart.

“After you went to answer your mom’s call, Marjan and Paul asked me how long we’ve been together,” he tells him, watching, but Carlos' expression doesn’t change. He just continues to wait with a calm and gentle look on his face.

“When I told them we weren’t a couple, they explained why they thought we were, they – “ TK pauses, swallowing down the butterflies in his stomach. “ – they figured out so easily how in love with you I am. I guess I’m really obvious,” he finishes with an awkward shrug of his shoulders.

It’s quiet for a moment until TK can’t take the silence anymore. “Please say something,” he whispers. “Even if you don’t feel the same way, it’s okay. I just need to know.”

Carlos looks at him, brown eyes compassionate as always, and TK remembers, no matter what, Carlos will be kind.

“Do you remember when we met?” Carlos starts, and though confused by the change in conversation, TK nods.

“Right here on this porch,” he tells him.

 “That’s right. Mami told us we had new neighbors, and we came over with food to say hi. Your dad opened the door, and a minute later, you came out too with a firetruck in your hand,” Carlos reminds him. “You didn’t look at any of my sisters, you looked at me and asked if I wanted to play with you.”

“You called dibs on being my friend,” TK chuckles at the memory.

“Yeah,” Carlos grins back at him. “We played every day that week, and by the end of it, I went to my mom, told her you were my best friend, that I loved you, and that one day I would marry you.”

“Carlos – “ he breathes, staring at him in shock as he looks back at him lovingly.

Carlos reaches up to touch his cheek again. “I have loved you since I was nine, TK. It took less than a week of knowing you to love you. How can you think for one second I don’t feel exactly the same way?”

“You – “ he whispers, not sure he’s not still dreaming.

“Love you,” Carlos answers back, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Always have, always will, and I don’t want to keep it a secret anymore. So if you love me too, can I just kiss you already? I’ve been waiting for years.”

TK nods rapidly, a wet laugh coming out right before Carlos’ lips touch his. He’s thought and dreamed about kissing Carlos longer than he can remember, but even his best dreams don’t compare to this perfect moment. Carlos kisses him like it’s the first time and the millionth, it’s new and familiar all at once. He lets out a breathy sound against his mouth, his hands reaching up to hold Carlos’ face, pulling him even closer as they deepen the kiss. It’s only when breathing becomes a problem that they break the kiss, but they don’t pull away from each other. Instead, they press their foreheads together, smiling and giggling like happy idiots.

“I love you, Carlos,” he whispers, his stomach flipping when Carlos’ smile widens, bright and beautiful like the man in his arms.

“I love you too, TK,” Carlos says back to him, making his insides jump again. He can’t remember the last time he was this happy, but it probably involved Carlos like pretty much every other happy moment in his life.

TK is closing the small distance between their mouths again; he’s got years to make up for, when the front door of the house opens with a bang. They look over to it, still wrapped in each other’s arms to find one of Carlos’ sisters looking at them with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

“Here you are,” she starts, giving them a once over. “I see you finally got your shit together. Congratulations.”

“Lola – “ Carlos starts to speak, but it’s too late, she’s already turning her head back towards the inside of the house.

“Found them!” she shouts as she turns back in. “Who had ‘near-death experience’ in the ‘TK and Carlos finally pull their heads out of their ass’ pool?”

Her shout is met with more screams and cheers, but luckily no one comes outside to confirm her statement. TK looks back at Carlos, who is still looking at the door a little shocked. It gets louder inside, and TK makes a decision, he stands, extending his hand to him.

“Come on, we’re going back to my place,” he says, wiggling his fingers when Carlos continues to sit.

“We are?” he questions, finally snapping out of the shock of being caught, taking his hand.

“Mmhmm, I’m calling dibs on you,” he says, throwing a grin over his shoulder as he leads Carlos towards the car. “We can deal with their gloating tomorrow. Tonight, I’m not sharing. We are going home to make up for lost time.”

Carlos reaches for him, pulling him back into his arms. He presses his mouth against the back of his neck, smiling when he lets out a shiver.

“Dibs,” he whispers against his skin. He doesn’t have to say anything else, TK knows what he means.

Mine forever.

TK smiles, turning around in his arms.

“Dibs,” he promises, before kissing him one more time.

Mine forever too.

[mtngirlforever]

Tyler Kennedy

Alright guys so here is my 1st Tarlos one shot. I haven't written anything in 2 years so I felt really rusty, but I couldn't quit writing. Please leave me your thoughts! I'll get it up on Ao3 in just a bit! 😘 I haven't posted in so long I no longer know how to do the keep reading line so someone wanna shoot a girl a line and help her out?? Until then sorry guys!

TK was a little pissy when his dad put Judd in charge of the call. Sure the dude was from Texas and was probably the most qualified for this, but he rubbed TK the wrong way most of the time. However, he was going to suck it up with some attitude until Marjan went down. No way was he losing a team member when he could reach her. He heard Judd's screams of no, but he didn't care. And really if he went down would it really matter? 

The rush he felt when he unclipped and reached for Marjan was the high he'd been missing. The adrenaline rush was powerful and left him feeling high like only the pills could. The corn was like quicksand, and by the time he had a good grip on Marjan, he was going down too. He sucked in a deep breath as he felt himself get separated from Marjan. The pressure around his chest was unbearable, but it was the first thing he'd really truly felt since the night Alex ruined his life. 

When he stumbled out into the light and took his first deep breath, it hurt but he was more worried about finding Marjan. It could've ended much worse, but they were all in one piece when they returned to the station. What he wasn't expecting was for Judd to blindside him when they got out of the rig. His chest was hurting and he was pretty sure it was just bruises, but he wasn't backing down from this confrontation. 

He didn't appreciate Judd's tone or the fact that he was insinuating TK only had a job because his dad was captain. Shoving Judd was his first instinct to let his anger out, and thankfully Judd was willing to fight back. It wasn't helping his ribs any, but at that moment he didn't care. 

After Paul separated them, he decided it was finally time to see Michelle. His chest was hurting with each really deep breath he took and he was sure it was just from the dive down the corn. He knocked on her office door glad to see his dad wasn't across the way. When he heard her call come in he opened and closed the door quietly. 

"TK what can I do for you?" Michelle asked giving him her full attention. 

"Just… uh.. needed to see if you got a second?" 

"Of course what's up?" 

TK made sure his dad hadn't come up before turning back to Michelle. "I think maybe the pressure in the silo was too much after all. It hurts with really deep breaths but I don't think anything's broke. And I… I don't wanna tell dad, and I can't…. I won't go to the hospital because I can't take anything they'd give me so can ya… can you just make sure its bruises?" 

"Yea come on. We can go to my bunk side. No one will know. And whatever you tell me will be in confidence." 

TK gave her a nod of thanks before following her out. Michelle gave him a quick once over and confirmed what he knew that it was just some bruising. She told him to take Tylenol if it was too painful since he appeared not to want anything stronger. He gave her a thanks before going out. Luckily shift was almost over and the rest of his shift was quite. 

That night despite still being angry at Judd, TK decided to stay in and rest. Across town, Carlos and Michelle were meeting up for beers at Carlos’s house. While he would love to help her find her sister, he was starting to lose hope. It had been three years, and no serious leads. He did think he’d gotten his point across by giving her the list of blue pickup trucks, and pointing out that Dustin did not own a blue truck. 

What he wasn’t fully prepared for was to spill his guts about TK. While he had missed their two-way street friendship, he’d initially been teasing. Until she turned serious and really wanted to know about his latest hookup. And truthfully, he didn’t know what to say because he really didn’t know anything about the guy. 

“I met someone, we hooked up, and then it got weird,” he said with a shrug. 

“Doesn’t it always,” she laughed. 

“No Michelle, it doesn’t always get weird,” he said exasperated. 

“So? Tell me about this boy," she relented. 

“You know him actually,” he said with a dramatic pause as she looked at him to continue. “TK Strand,” he said as she gasped at him. 

“Nice!” 

“Yea. He’s a ten and now I kinda can’t get him out of my head.” 

“So why don’t you ask him out?” 

“Oh no! He’d probably ghost me. I just hate being the one doing the chasing.” 

“Why? You’re the one with the handcuffs,” she joked as he rolled his eyes at her. “But speaking of, TK had an interesting day.” 

“Oh yea? How?” Carlos asked suddenly intrigued.

“You hear about the silo call?” At his nod Michelle continued; “Well, he decided to ignore Judd’s warnings and unclipped his line thinking he could save Marjan. They had to cut the side of the silo because he and Marjan got sucked down. So they went for a tumble. The pressure was too much for him and bruised his ribs. He came to me in confidence so I shouldn’t even be telling you, but just thought you’d wanna know, “ she winked. She could tell it was more than a hookup for Carlos and she had an idea TK needed someone in his corner so she didn't mind spilling what she knew.

Carlos let it roll over in his mind. TK ignored a direct order, and could’ve died had they not got the side cut soon enough. That did not sound promising after his freak out over a dinner. He let his thoughts tumble over each other as Michelle finished her beer and headed out for the night. Carlos ended up crashing on his couch, just managing to get enough sleep before his shift the next day. 

He was pulling a twelve hour shift starting at noon, and by the time it was getting late and getting close to him being off, he saw the one person he was not ready to see being lead into the station. Despite knowing he should distance himself, he couldn’t help it. He had to see what TK had done to be brought in in cuffs. 

He managed to get the officer that brought him in to leave him at Carlos’s desk, while Carlos went to find out what happened. When the other two wouldn’t talk and TK’s breathalyzer test was a 0.0, he decided he would be the one to cut him loose. He wanted to know why the guy he couldn’t get out of his head was suddenly on a suicide mission two days in a row. He saw TK hunched over his desk holding an ice pack to his eye. Had his hands been free, Carlos would bet his arm would be wrapped around his ribs. He knew they had to be killing him from the information Michelle had disclosed. 

The look on TK’s face when he sat down was honestly priceless. “Seriously?” he said with as much attitude as possible.

Carlos acted like it didn’t bother him; “Austin’s a small town TK; or should I say Tyler Kennedy.” TK grunted in response without looking up. “Bummer about getting arrested, people might find out your real name. Which marks the first actual thing I’ve learned about you.” 

Finally the ice pack drops, but the attitude doesn’t. “Isn’t you processing me like a conflict of interest or something?” 

“The good news is, neither of your new friends want to talk about that little scuffle tonight, and since you blew a 0.0, we’re not even giving you a drunk and disorderly. You’re free to go,” he says all this as he unlocks the cuffs. 

“What’s the bad news?” TK asks hesitantly. The no reaction and no questions from Carlos was making him nervous. 

“The bad news is that means you did this with a clear head.” TK won’t meet his eyes so he decides to push on. “I’m not trying to be your boyfriend or even your friend if you’re not into it,” he says while trying to catch TK’s eyes. He wants to make sure his point is getting across because he wants TK to know someone does care about him. “But you should talk to someone about why you felt compelled to do something so suicidal,” he pauses as TK finally meets his eyes; “two days in a row.” 

They have a brief stare down before TK reaches for the bag with his things. Carlos backs off, knowing he probably pushed too far, but he wants TK to know he’s not alone. When TK is still sitting there, he drops the box of tissues in front of him and goes back to the not bothered attitude. He’s not sure he wants TK to see how much he affects him. “Got a little crud by the way,” he says while pointing at his lip. 

He dropped the cuffs on his desk trying not to think about what Michelle had said. He tries to appear busy, but he can’t help but watch TK out of the corner of his eye. He's nowhere close to getting the dried blood off his lip. “Other side,” he said giving himself away and getting a look and a huff from TK. 

TK moves to the middle and sort of the other side, but he’s still not getting it. “Stop,” Carlos says exasperated. “Just let me.” He grabs a tissue and reaches over when TK moves back just a touch before his head stills. Carlos holds in his sigh and waits. When TK is still he reaches over and wipes the blood. It’s intimate and he shouldn’t get used to it because he knows TK will eventually bolt, but he can’t help but wish they could have more intimate moments. He can’t take his eyes off TK and thankfully TK is looking back. 

He’s almost positive his face is an open book of hurt and curiosity and desire, but he can’t seem to mask it. The things TK does to him is unbelievable. He gets a quiet “Thanks,” as he appears to go back to paperwork. He tries to stay focused and not move when TK leans in closer so just Carlos can hear him. And what comes next is definitely not what Carlos was expecting. 

“I’m sorry I went crazy on you the other night,” he says, and he sounds so sincere and upset about it. Carlos doesn’t want to let him know just how much it’d stung when he walked out the door so he decided to play it cool. 

“I’m a cop; I’m used to crazy.” He keeps working, but deep inside he’s absorbing everything and his stupid heart is doing flips. 

He sees TK try to find the words to go on when Carlos won’t look at him. He’s really trying here, trying like he hasn’t in a while. He’s not sure why he is, but that spark he had with Carlos was the most he’d felt until he dived down the silo and got in the fight. He didn’t want to give that up even if he’d acted like an ass the other night.

“Look I just went through a really bad breakup, like nuclear bad. And then I relapsed,” he says all the while never taking his eyes off Carlos. He wants Carlos to know he’s being as open as possible at the moment, and why he is the way he is. 

“You mean with me?” Carlos says again without even looking at TK.

“No,” TK says dropping his eyes at the same time Carlos cuts his eyes to look at him. TK finally has his attention, and he’s not sure how to handle it. He’s ashamed and embarrassed, and he really doesn’t want the hot cop he was hooking up with to know how bad he really is. He knows he’s a fuck up and his dad knows it, but he’s still not gotten comfortable with everyone else knowing just how much of a fuck up he really is. And that’s another reason Judd’s words hit close to home. At this point it really is because of his dad that he’s still a firefighter and still working, still here even. 

His eyes stay on the ground as he admits the truth. He’s come this far, he might as well lay it out there and let Carlos run free. No way he’s going to want anything to do with him after he knows most of the truth. “I mean with substances,” he says carefully. He can’t admit more than that at the moment, but he knows if Carlos was ever to stick around, he’d admit the full truth. But he knows that’s never a possibility. He’s debating running when Carlos finally speaks. 

“Right. Which explains your reaction to the champagne. I’m such an idiot. I’m-”

“No,” TK starts to interrupt, but Carlos continues, “I’m sorry,” he says as TK finishes his thought; “It’s fine okay?” He finally makes eye contact again before he continues not exactly sure where the word vomit is coming from. “I mean ever since I’ve gotten here it’s just…. It’s just gray, and I just feel numb all the time.” He pauses to decide how else to word it because he knows it’s going to sound bad, but he doesn’t have the words when he’s flayed open and raw. “I guess I just…. I wanted to feel something.” 

When Carlos just stares at him, he quickly grabs his things out of the bag and stands to make a run for it. He knew this was a bad idea opening himself up to someone else. No one could put up with his bratty attitude and fears and failures. As he turns the corner of the desk, Carlos speaks again, and it’s the last thing TK expected. 

“Judging by that lip, I’d say mission accomplished.” 

TK’s hand falls on the desk to prop himself up. His ribs are really killing him, his head is starting to pound, and he just laid most of his vulnerabilities out there and Carlos wants to bust his balls. He gives him his best go to hell look before speaking. “You really busting my balls right now?” he says in disbelief. 

“Yea suppose I am,” Carlos says with enough of a smirk that TK can’t stop his own smile from forming. TK goes to leave and Carlos lets him get a few steps down the hallway before he stops him. “I know you’re in pain, do you want to go to the hospital? My shift is over in another hour, but I could cut out early,” he says with a hand on TK’s arm. 

“Na. Don’t want what they’d give me anyways. Michelle told me to just take Tylenol.” While he’d love to give in to the offer and he knows it’d make him feel immensely better, he’s not going to disappoint his dad again. But it’s more than that now. He doesn’t want to let Carlos down, now that he knows the truth. 

“At least let me drive you home. You don’t have a car Tiger,” he says with a smirk. 

TK looks around before leaning into Carlos a little. “Yea… Yea that’d be fine. Long as you can leave.” He doesn’t want Carlos getting in trouble for him. 

“Yea. Just give me a few,” he says tossing TK’s jacket around his shoulders and leading him back to his desk. TK sits down wrapping an arm around his ribs as he hunched over a little. He couldn’t wait to get home and fall face first into bed. 

“Here,” Carlos said handing him two extra strength Tylenol and a bottle of water. “I’ll be ready in five. Just let me get my stuff.” TK offered him a nod and a smile before downing the pills. 

The ride through town was quiet. “Where to?” Carlos finally asked when he needed to turn one way or another. 

TK was biting his abused lip in thought. He didn’t want to go home and his dad see him this way, but he didn’t want to assume anything about going to Carlos’s. He’d caused him enough trouble tonight and laid way too much out there. A soft hand on his arm stopped the abuse his teeth were inflicting on his already abused lip. 

“You can come home with me if you want…. Tyler,” Carlos said quietly. His actual name rolling off those sexy lips sent a shiver down his spine. No one had called him that in a really long time.

“Don’t want to put you out or cause you more trouble,” TK said quietly. 

Carlos reached over and grabbed his chin, turning TK to look at him. “I meant it when I said I wouldn’t be anything you’re not comfortable with, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t gladly be whatever you wanted or needed.”

“Just to sleep. Got shift in the morning,” TK said after a small pause. He wasn't up to anything more tonight, not with the pain he was in.

“Just to sleep,” Carlos smiled before turning for home. 

Once home, Carlos went to shower, after laying out a pair of sweats and clean shirt for TK. TK settled in bed while Carlos was in the shower. He was suddenly so exhausted and he knew he needed as much sleep as possible before shift. He wasn’t sure how he’d explain away the black eye and split lip to his dad just yet, but he’d figure something out. Carlos’s bed was so comfortable that he was asleep before Carlos was out of the shower. 

The next morning when his alarm went off, TK let out a groan. “There’s a shirt on the dresser. Keep the sweats,” Carlos mumbled sleepily. 

“Thanks,” TK whispered before rolling over and giving Carlos a searing kiss. His ribs protested the held breath, but he couldn’t resist kissing the hottest guy that made him feel something other than numb and that had taken care of him when he needed it.

“Go out with me tonight?” Carlos mumbled sleepily. Stupid Michelle and her stupid advice he thought, when TK paused getting up. “Just darts at the bar,” Carlos said as an afterthought. “Nothing fancy.. Just whatever…” 

“Yea,” TK interrupted. “Yea. Sure. Shift’s over at eight. It’s a date.” 

“It’s a date Tyler Kennedy,” Carlos smiled before shutting his eyes again at TK’s groan. He had a feeling Carlos would not be letting the full name go anytime soon now that he knew it.

Shift drug by, and his anger with Judd returned tenfold when he saw him again. By the time he was off shift, he wasn’t sure he would be much fun, but he wasn’t bailing. He downed two more Tylenol before heading to the bar where Carlos was already waiting. After ordering his mineral water, he joined Carlos over at the dart board. 

It wasn’t but a few minutes and Judd and Grace joined the crowd at the bar, and TK’s mood soured. He started ranting about Judd and where he got off on his high horse for a solid twenty minutes. His aim is off because he’s letting his anger fuel his throws. Carlos throws as he keeps ranting, and TK turns to get the darts. 

“You know if I was a less secure man, I might be bothered by the fact that I worked up the nerve to ask you out, and you’ve spent the entire night talking about another guy,” Carlos teases. And it’s clear in his voice he’s giving TK a hard time. 

“Well it pisses me off,” TK says as if it’s not obvious. 

“I noticed,” Carlos smirks thinking of all the ways they could work his anger out of him. TK hands the darts back to him, and Carlos can’t help but call him out on his brattiness. “Guess he hit a nerve,” he says before throwing again. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” TK asks as if he doesn't know. 

“Nothing,” Carlos says before going one step further. “Just seems like nobody’s ever spoken to you that way before.”

“You think he’s right?” TK asks disbelieving.

Carlos finishes throwing the darts before answering him, letting TK work it out for himself. “Do you?” he asks TK when TK pulls the darts out of the board. 

TK lets out a deep breath deciding on what to say. Instead of continuing the argument, he decides to go with something he hopes is threatening enough to get Carlos to drop it. “You know I’m holding a dart.” 

“And I’m packing a piece,” Carlos says with a straight face and without missing a beat. 

TK thinks of something smart to say back, but the only thing coming to mind is how hot Carlos looks in that moment. “That’s hot,” he finally spits out.  Needless to say that was the last round of darts and they were leaving. TK’s ribs were still sore enough that anything more than cuddling and making out in bed was out of the question. But for once, TK was ok with it. Carlos cared; he was still there even though he knew TK was a fuck up; he didn’t put up with his shit, and he let him just be. Since moving to Austin, he finally felt like he was truly going to be ok and wouldn’t be numb forever. 

“Sleep Tyler Kennedy,” he heard whispered in his hair as he drifted off feeling safe and truly cared for. 

[decembersiris]

Valeveira Prompt: Let It Snow

This was a prompt from @froggy-fan-girl ! She really wanted fluff to the Valeveira animation of Jill and Carlos on a mission singing Let It Snow. So I guess it is an early Christmas fic. Here you go guys, hope you like it!

-

“Shit mission on Christmas...” Grumbled Barry, “Can’t see my family, an ocean away from home, and it’s hot. Hot on fucking Christmas.”

“Come on Barry, the mission’s done. We’ll be back in DC for the rest of the holiday season,” Chris replied, ever the optimist, or, at least, the peacemaker.

“Couldn’t even call my family,” he went on, ignoring Chris, “In the middle of a damn jungle, I’m sweating, this mission was a waste of time.”

“Does he always pout this much?” Sheva asked.

Chris chuckled, “Nah, he just misses his family. Makes him cranky.”

“Fuck you Chris.”

“Don’t get pissy at me, I didn’t deploy us.”

Barry Burton continued his mumbling as they trudged through the jungle back the way they came, a three mile hike that felt like ten. Every body sticky with the heavy heat of the humidity, they clomped over the overgrown shrubbery and low hanging branches and vines, their gear weighing down on them. Jill swiped the sweat from her brow with her forearm, silently wishing too for a bit of cool wind, ice beneath her tongue.

They were sent to investigate an abandoned facility that was said to house Umbrella documentation of BOW projects and buyers and sellers within the black market. After plenty of gunfire, blood and guts from creatures—mosquitoes the size of fits, snakes that seemed to stretch for miles, and overgrown apes—that all were infected, and much time spent flipping through files and hacking computers they were able to retrieve the data they needed. And now, as they headed back to their trucks, the clothes beneath their gear sticking to their skin, they all felt that little bit of misery that set off Barry’s complaints.

As Jill’s eyes glanced over her teammates, she could see emotions ranging from frustration to disappointment, to indifference and then some small sadness. They’d all rather be home for Christmas than where they were. Barry would rather be with his family, or at least on the phone with his family. Rebecca apparently had someone she was “in touch with”, whatever that meant. Chris had Claire to go home to; she had her studies to return to for the spring semester and the few weeks she had off he could never spend all at once. If he could rush to her side and at minimum spend the holiday with her, that would help him through the long semesters of her gone. Sheva, well, Jill hadn’t known her until recently, and knew most of who she was by her file. With her parents dead and the rest of her family strangers to her, she didn’t have anyone close to her to spend the holiday with. Maybe that’s why she didn’t care so much. But Jill did not miss the glances the woman passed at Chris. Did he know? Surely Chris wasn’t clueless. Yet, Jill also spied how close they walked together, just as she and Carlos did, a quiet cue that meant more between them than what they led on. Perhaps Chris and Sheva, too, were an item.

Jill smiled at that, enjoying the little fantasy of the four of them on a double date together, and made her insides giddy with the thought of Chris allowing that personal connection, that affection from another person. Not that he was a cold a detached man, the very opposite in fact, but now there was someone who could bring out that affection he was capable of sharing. He could dote it upon someone other than channeling it to overprotecting his sister, and if it’s Sheva, well Jill has no complaints.

Jill’s eyes turned to Carlos. His hair was pulled back into a pony, strands of hair that could not reaching plastering to his face from the sweat. His eyes met hers as he puffed a breath of air, his fingers tapping against the strap that secured his rifle to his back. The smile he sent her was brief, a mild look of exhaustion in his features as he pushed aside a low hanging branch. She’d rather, as she was sure he would too, spend her time with him, curled up on the couch in their apartment in DC with a warm cup of coffee and blanket as the snow fluttered outside.

They all had places they’d rather be. But here they were, and at least they were here together. And as they snapped over fallen branches, rustling and disturbing the vegetation, Jill felt a tune musing through her head. Something soft, something light to fill the air in the success of their mission, their coming home for the rest of the holiday season.

She hummed it softly, the plant life thinning slowly, and she eyed her teammates. No one looked at her as she hummed a little louder, the song “Let it Snow” a clear vibration against her vocal cords and through her nose. It wasn’t until Rebecca looked at her, a look not of annoyance or indifference, but of anticipation, as if waiting for her to make the first note.

And so she did. “The weather outside is frightful,” she sang out, “but the fire is so delightful...”

She paused, trailing off a bit, wondering if she should continue, but she now had captured Sheva and Carlos’s attention. That piqued her courage.

“Since we’ve no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...”

She wasn’t a fantastic singer, but, she felt, she sang better than others. She hit the notes, her voice never flat and rang out with a passion that was sweet, that was her.

Then Rebecca picked up where Jill left off, her voice higher and lighter, almost like a bird’s serenade, “It doesn’t show signs of stoppin’, and I brought some corn for poppin’... Lights are turned down low, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...”

The humid air felt less so as the Christmas song rang through the trees. The hard line on Barry’s face had softened; he was listening, and while Jill did not if it was enough to make him feel better, hearing it from them allowed him to enjoy the moment. It made Jill smile, but she could do better.

She continued on with the song, turning it playful as she sang, poking Chris to get him to smile, raising her elbow to nudge Carlos for him to take the next line from her. He shook his head. She stopped the song short, her hand on his upper arm, and all eyes turned to Carlos, yes, even Chris and even Barry.

“The fire is slowly dying, and my dear, we’re still goodbyin’...” Jill repeated, her voice unshaken, a smile playing on her lips as she stared up at Carlos.

He sighed and smiled back at her, unable to resist. “Long as you love me so,” his voice was a low rumble of notes, his pitch perfect, and lovely that Jill squealed.

“Ah! He sings!” She squeaked in delight and surprise, her eyes shimmering up at him. Chris chuckled at Jill’s response.

“Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...” He finished, grinning back at her.

He kissed her nose, and Jill slipped her arm around his. Her heart warmed, thrilled with the newfound discovery and something else to bond with him over.

It was Sheva took over the song next, her voice a bit lower than Jill’s but with a power behind it that was clear as a bell. Jill watched Chris as she sang, and for a moment, she saw how mesmerized he was. She’d bet money they’d fuck as soon as they got home.

Through Sheva’s encouragement—which Jill did not expect because neither she nor Claire could ever get Chris to sing—Chris took the lead, the song coming close to its conclusion as the jungle began to clear and their trucks came into view. Seeing Chris sing made Barry smile, something genuine that sparkled in his eyes. As they entered the final chorus, Barry joined them at last.

“The fire is slowly dying, and my dear, we’re still goodbyin’...” the entire team’s voices became one, “Long as you love me so, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...!”

The song ended as they approached the trucks, and they all came to a halt. They found themselves chuckling and laughing in spite of themselves, and it was Barry that laughed hard enough to wipe a tear from his eye.

He sighed happily, “Thanks guys.”

“Whatever we gotta do to get you outta that funk, man.” Carlos said, patting his shoulder.

“You’ll see them soon,” Rebecca added, “and it’ll be a happy Christmas.”

Barry nodded to that and they climbed into the two trucks. They were headed home, out of the heat and the jungle to take that plane back to DC. While they missed Christmas at home, at least they could share it together.

[unapologeticallyjaylos]

i’m heartbroken (without your love) - jaylos

I recently rewatched d3 and man. I still can’t get over that scene where jay pretty much ignored carlos in favor of talking to gil. so this little angsty piece of sadness was born . i’m sorry. 

------

“‘Los? Carlitos? Carlos?”

Carlos looks up from the page of his physics textbook and over at Evie, who’s looking at him expectantly. Shit, he definitely hasn’t been listening. “Uh - sorry, what?”

Evie laughs indulgently and shakes her head. “I said ‘it’s late, isn’t Jay gonna be concerned if you don’t make it up to bed soon?’”

Gritting his teeth some, Carlos shrugs and returns his gaze to the book. “Nah.”

Evie scoots closer, narrowing her eyes. “Are you guys fighting?”

“No.”

She clearly doesn’t believe him. “Well, what’s with that pissy face, then?”

Carlos has been studying in her brand new sunlit workspace all afternoon - except now, the sunlight is quickly fading and she’s been forced to actually turn on the lamps on the nearby table. Although she didn’t have any extra summer school classes to study for, Evie has never been one to turn down a scientific cram session, and Carlos has to admit, he’s missed going over terms with her like this. Only, she’s moved past formulas and numbers now and into questions about his personal life, something that’s a lot more confusing than kinematics at the moment.

“Carlos de Vil, you better answer me,” she says sternly. “Is something going on? I haven’t seen you and Jay hang out in days.”

“He’s busy.” Carlos knows he’s being cryptic, but he doesn’t really care. If he says anything more, it’ll come off sounding even more bitter than it already does.

“He’s on summer vacation,” Evie argues. “There’s literally nothing on his to-do list.”

“Oh, really?” Carlos makes a face. “Tell that to the pirate.”

Evie’s forehead crinkles in confusion. “The pirate? Uma?”

Carlos has already said too much, but he shakes his head and concentrates on reading the next passage in his textbook. Once. Twice. A third time.

“Harry?”

A fourth time. He still hasn’t processed a single word. What section is his next exam on again? A fifth time.

“Oh, Gil,” Evie pauses, “That’s right - I did see them leaving this morning together -” And then, she gasps softly. Carlos doesn’t have the heart to look up at her, but he figures the warm glow from the lamp is doing that thing where it makes her face glow. “Carlos… you don’t think…?”

“Yeah, I do.” The words on the page have started to blur now and he slams the book shut. “I think they’re fucking. Or… or more.” He can’t bring himself to say it.

“They danced together, didn’t they?” Evie frowns. “At the party last weekend?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s so… out of the blue.” Evie shakes her head. “Did they interact at all before then?”

Carlos’ chest aches just thinking about it. “Yeah. In the woods. Jay got all flirty about berry bushes and penguins and whatever else they were talking about together.”

Very slowly, Evie places a gentle, comforting hand on his shoulder. When he flinches a little, she backs off. “Sorry, I -”

“No, it’s fine.” He flushes some, grabbing her hand and putting it back. “Involuntary. I don’t mind when you do it.”

She smiles sadly at him, shaking her head. “I love you.”

He jerks his head up some. They don’t say those three words to each other very often - only when they are in really deep shit or one of them has been seriously hurt. “It’s… it’s not that bad,” he tells her quietly. “You don’t need to say that. I’m not dying or anything.”

“No,” Evie says sadly. “But your heart is broken. And I know what that feels like.”

Carlos mulls that over. His chest burns whenever he closed his eyes and sees Jay and Gil dancing or laughing or sitting close together. His eyes burn, too, whenever Jay blows him off or forgets to answer his texts. He isn’t sure how his heart could break before he realized he was in love, but somehow, it has. “I think… I think I love him.”

“I know.” Evie rubs his shoulder gently. “I saw. I think he loved you, too, you know. At one point.”

Carlos doesn’t know if that makes it better or worse. “I don’t want to hate Gil. I don’t. That just makes me… a bad person. He didn’t do anything… wrong. Just… was a better version of me somehow.”

“No one is a better version of you,” Evie growls fiercely, kissing the back of his neck. “You are the ultimate version, Carlos.”

“I don’t know why this hurts so badly.” Maybe, on some level, he’s always shoved his own emotions for Jay aside, expecting to be always overshadowed by some girl. “None of the girls hurt like this. I guess… maybe… I thought that if Jay ever dated a boy… it would be me.” It stung more than he expected to say it out loud.

“Carlos…” Evie says softly, “I’m… so sorry.”

“You get it, though.” Carlos stares at her. “I see the way you look at Mal. And she’s engaged now.”

Evie’s mouth opens and then shuts slowly. She seems to be at a loss for words.

“It’s okay,” Carlos shrugs. “I’m not gonna tell her or anything. Just means you and I are in the same stupid self-pity boat.”

“I guess so.” Her gaze drifts to her lap. “I didn’t know I was that obvious.”

“She’s just oblivious,” Carlos shrugs. “Jay, too, I guess. You’d be great with her.”

“And you’re perfect for him.”

Carlos doesn’t believe her. If he were perfect, he would be the one Jay asked to go traveling with. If he were perfect, he wouldn’t have to watch Jay leave with Gil every single morning. If he were perfect, Jay would want him instead of someone else.

[lonestarbabe]

The T-Shirt

(AO3)

Carlos finds an old t-shirt, and it brings back some old, painful memories for T.K.

You do not have to read Running Towards the Tide to understand this. Running Towards the Tide is a more general story that shows different vignettes of T.K.'s life while this describes a particular scenario mentioned in the first story of this series.

Carlos was staying over for the night, and T.K. had told him to feel free to grab some clothes to change into, and if it wasn’t a bit chilly, Carlos might’ve just stripped down and have called it a day, but the temperature had dipped down a little, or at least, T.K., still a New York boy at heart, had turned the air conditioning down lower than Carlos was used to.

He rifled through T.K.’s t-shirts, looking for one that wouldn’t be too tight on his biceps, which was difficult considering T.K. liked his t-shirts to be tight and Carlos’ arms were slightly more toned. Finally, after digging through the shirts and trying to not make a mess of them, Carlos pulled out an old NYU shirt from the drawer, which looked roomy enough and comfortable for sleeping. He looked at it a bit puzzled. “You didn’t go to NYU.” Maybe it was just a New Yorker thing.

“Don’t touch that.” T.K. ripped the shirt from Carlos’ hands, clutching it in his own. “Why do you care anyway? It’s just a shirt.” Carlos was used to T.K.’s tendency to run hot and cold, but he’d been better since they started dating, and when it came to most things, like borrowing a t-shirt, T.K. was laidback, but T.K.’s green eyes now had a gray cast over them. Normally clear, bright eyes were now murky.

Carlos couldn’t help but the surge of defensiveness that came through him. “It was just a comment. No need to get pissy.” His voice came off harsh, and he knew that it still worried Carlos that T.K. could storm off any minute, but it wasn’t worth spending all that time wondering if T.K. was a flight risk. T.K. wasn’t going anywhere this day. In fact, he was unusually glued in place. Normally, he would at least pace if he was upset or fidget, but he looked lost until he realized that Carlos had spoken and processed the words.

T.K. rolled his eyes, his go to asshole response. “I’m not. You’re just nosey.” It made T.K. feel naked and itchy when Carlos tried figure him out like he was a Sudoku puzzle.

Carlos wanted T.K. to open up, but he wasn’t going to pull teeth to do it. That would only make T.K. clam up. “You could’ve just said you didn’t want to talk about it.” T.K. knew that Carlos wasn’t going to make him say anything, but the guilt at not talking about it gnawed at his stomach anyways because he knew that Carlos thought that T.K. was to secretive. It’d been a fight they’d had before and would probably have again, but today, Carlos knew well enough to leave it alone. “I just think it’s a little weird how you reacted.”

T.K. unglued his feet and walked over to the bed to sit down. A few moments later he felt the mattress dip as Carlos sat beside him. “I knew someone who went there is all,” T.K. explained, hoping to appease Carlos. He knew more than just one person who went to NYU, but of course, the owner of the shirt always would hold a special place in T.K.’s mind. He was the one T.K. could never scrub from his mind.

“I’m guessing you knew him pretty well if you kept this shirt after all this time,” Carlos commented, and it wasn’t prodding. He was willing to leave it there if that’s what T.K. wanted.

“It’s silly that I even kept it. He’s someone more important than I would want him to be.”

“A lover?” Carlos asked, and then took it immediately back, “No, you don’t have to answer. I know you have a past, but it’s your business.”

“A hookup.” T.K. looked down at his hands, looking shamed. T.K., who loved telling Carlos his favorite sex positions and talking about his sexual escapades never looked ashamed of sex before.  “It was just sex.”

“Pretty sentimental, aren’t you?” Carlos smiled at him, trying to lighten the situation, but his voice sounded hollow.

“It was my first time,” T.K. admitted. He tried not to think of everything that had entailed, but he couldn’t help the thoughts that came when he felt the soft, worn fabric under his fingertips.

“Oh,” Carlos said, realization dawning on his face. “That makes sense then.” A faint smile came upon his face. “My first time with a guy was with a classmate. Ronnie. I was eighteen, and we were sort of seeing each other. As much as we could’ve been given the circumstances. I thought we’d somehow last forever, but I wasn’t even out. Not sure he ever came out, actually. I loved him, but love only gets you so far.”

“At least he was someone you loved.” T.K.’s first time had been humiliating, which he blamed himself for.

“You didn’t love him?” Carlos asked. “Not even in a puppy love way?”

T.K. shook his head. He hadn’t even learned Alan’s last name. “The owner of that shirt… he was the first person I found who wanted me in that way, and so I thought that I might as well get it over with. I didn’t care about making it special. I mean, it’s stupid to believe that sex at that age will be that great. I half hoped I’d fall in love, that he would love me, but that didn’t happen.”

Carlos nodded in understanding. “It was awkward with Ronnie. We didn’t really know what we were doing, but I’m glad I did it. I still look back on it and get good feelings. It can be technically bad while still feeling very good.”

“With Alan, it was the opposite. He was good at sex, but it still felt awful.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, so this shirt is just a bad memento of that time in my life.”

“So why do you keep it if it’s so bad?”

T.K. wasn’t so sure of this answer himself. It seemed harmful to let it linger in his dresser with all the important clothes he actually loved, but he doubted he’d ever get rid of it. “My dad keeps a piece of one of the towers from 9/11.” Carlos nodded. “It’s kind of like that. It’s different than with Dad, but it’s still a reminder.”

“A reminder of what?” Carlos looked apprehensive but generally interested.

“That the worst day of your life won’t always be the worst day of your life.”

Carlos put a hand on T.K. back, leaning his head down and kissing T.K.’s shoulder. “It was that bad?”

“I was sixteen, so everything kind of seems worse at that age. I met this guy at a bar I’d go to to drink and look at pretty boys. I’d never done anything with anyone at that point, so I thought it’d be a good time. There, I met Alan. He was twenty-two, so it was stupid to think that it would mean anything, but I thought it would feel good. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing, but he was older, so I trusted that he’d make it okay for me.”

Carlos’ eyebrows were scrunched as were his lips, a good indicator that he was upset. “Don’t be upset, Carlos.”

“He shouldn’t have been messing with a kid in the first place,” Carlos said through gritted teeth.

“I told him I was older.” T.K. was almost positive that Alan had known he was younger, but he wasn’t going to tell Carlos that. He couldn’t even trust his own memory; it been so long since he had thought about it. He used to think about it all the time. At first, it had been every minute, then every hour, every week, and every month. It’s amazing how wounds fade so even the worst moments don’t carry the same kind of agony forever.

Carlos wasn’t appeased, but he let it go for now. “He’s still a creep.”

“It doesn’t end there,” T.K. said, and it sounded like a warning. Carlos gave T.K.’s thigh a reassuring squeeze.

“I went home with him, and on the way there, I was nervous but also excited. He seemed super nice, and I guess that’s why I trusted him in the first place. When we got to his apartment, I realized that we weren’t alone.”

“Married?”

“I don’t know what he and Adrian were, but when I got there, Alan asked me if it was alright if his friend joined in.” T.K. looked at the ground. “I didn’t really want to do it, but he kept telling me how fun it would be and that I might as well do it since I was already there. I didn’t know how to say no, so I told him yes.” T.K. laughed bitterly. “My first time was threesome. How slutty is that?”

“Oh god, T.K., that’s awful,” Carlos said, not sure how to respond to someone he loved talking about a traumatic, non-consensual sexual encounter.

“It was just uncomfortable and awkward.” T.K. wasn’t sure why he felt the need to minimize it, make it sound less traumatic than it was. There were times he still protected Alan’s memory and put up a little wall around it. Adrian had always been an accessory in T.K.’s head while Alan was the source of all the confliction. T.K. liked to think that Alan didn’t mean to hurt him, but whenever he thought of that night, a quiet rage filled the hollow of his stomach, making T.K. want to protect Alan and destroy him all at once. Mostly, he wanted to go back in time and protect his younger self, make little T.K. feel safe and loved and worth more than a threesome with two guys who only wanted to use him to get off.

“Seems like more than that to me.”

T.K. shrugged. “Maybe, but I guess good came out of it. It made me come out to my dad. After it happened, I couldn’t stop crying, and I couldn’t tell him the truth, so I just told him I was gay when he asked what was wrong. It made us closer, actually.”

“Good things happening as a result doesn’t make what they did to you less painful or wrong of them.”

“It’s fine, really. It was my own stupid fault. I should have used my brain for once instead of just jumping into a situation I clearly wasn’t ready for.”

“It’s not your fault, okay? You weren’t old enough to make that decision, and even if you were, it sounds like he and that other guy coerced you into doing it, which is…” Carlos trailed off wanting to word this very careful as to not to spook T.K., but there was only one way he could think to say it. “It wasn’t consensual.”

“I said yes, Carlos.” T.K. took a deep breath. “I used to think that maybe they were in the wrong, but I think that was just wishful thinking.”

“What do you mean?”

“I always thought I was lying to myself about that night, warping the things that happened to make myself feel better. Like, I got the impression Alan knew I was underage, but maybe I’m just trying to make him the bad guy. Maybe the reason I keep blaming Alan and Adrian is because I don’t want to take responsibility for my own mistakes. It’s easier to tell myself that they hurt me, even though deep down, I’ve always known I hurt myself. I put myself in a bad situation because I was desperate for my dad’s attention.”

Carlos didn’t want to put words in T.K.’s mouth, but he also wanted to assure him that he wasn’t making a big deal out of nothing. “From what you’ve told me, they manipulated you. You were sixteen, you had been drinking, and you felt pressured because they put you in an unfair situation. Any one of those things should’ve equated to saying no. One of those two men should’ve seen that.”

“Maybe,” T.K. didn’t sound so sure. He’d spent years debating who was really to blame, but nothing good had ever come of it. At the end of the day, it still always seemed like his own stupid fault.

Carlos put a hand over T.K.’s which was still holding the t-shirt. “These situations can be difficult for people to process.” He avoided the use of the word victim. He’d encountered cases like T.K.’s before at work. He knew how psychologically confusing and traumatic seemingly-consensual, non-consensual sexual encounters could be. The police usually couldn’t do much about them by the time victims came forward, and society wasn’t always sympathetic. “Because sometimes even those who experience them don’t realize they’re wrong.”  

“Maybe that’s why I kept the shirt.” T.K. clutched the stretched cotton in his hands, and he had a sudden urge to rip it apart and throw it in a fire, but it would feel like tearing and burning a part of himself. As much as he wanted to put in the garbage, he wasn’t ready to let it go. “Why I may always keep it.”

“Oh?”

“I’ve gone through what happened that day a million times, and even now, I keep thinking that I don’t deserve to feel sorry for myself,” He looked down at the logo that had faded against the fabric. “But whenever I look at this shirt, I can’t help feeling sympathy for young me. It’s stupid, but it reminds me that for all the mistakes I made that night, I was still just a kid sent home in shirt a few sizes too big.”

Carlos put his arms around T.K., resting his chin on T.K.’s shoulder. He didn’t say anything, just felt the rise and fall of T.K.’s chest, being there for whatever emotion T.K. need to get through. After several minutes of sitting there, T.K. rose to his feet, leaning in to give Carlos a kiss and walking over to the dress.

With care, T.K. folded the shirt and slid it back in the drawer, beneath all the other shirts. It would always be there, but he didn’t always have to see it. He sat on Carlos’ lap and looped his arms around Carlos’ neck. “I think I’ve thought enough about that tonight. Why don’t you remind me how good being with another person can feel.”

And with T.K. wrapped around him, Carlos didn’t need to worry about finding another shirt. He was warm, and T.K. was safe.

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “goodbye”. 23 years ago. The afternoon after the isle was set up. Olympus. Zeus is milling about the throne room excessively drinking in celebration. The marble floor cracks. From them vines fly out and form a Venus fly trap. The mouth opens and out steps a figure in a dark verdant hooded cloak. They send vines in Zeus’s direction which wrap around neck)

Zeus: WHO ARE YOU!!!!

Persephone (removing the cloak): who the fuck do you think it is your “majesty”

Zeus: eurghooh uh. Lady Persephone. To what do I owe the pleasure

Persephone: oh stuff it you old sot. You know what you did!!!!

Zeus: I assure you. I have no idea whatsoever as to what you mean

Persephone: my husband and my two week son where missing when I woke up this morning.

Zeus (feigning concern): really? That’s horrible

Persephone: he did it didn’t he? Adam. He set that, that horrible god awful prison up

Zeus (dropping all pretences): I’m happy to say he did. Now all of those, ahem, people, for want of a better word, are where they belong and can no longer harm us. Oh don’t look at me like that my girl. This is a good thing. Now you’re no longer bound by that pissy little contract he forced you into. You can rejoin your mother here on Olympus and all is as it was a should be before my idiot little destroyed your life

Persephone: if he destroyed my life I wouldn’t be here defending him you stupid slut. Nobody gets it. Nobody has ever seemed to have gotten it. I went through that fissure. I approached the skull throne. I threw myself at him. Being up here was a fucking snooze fest of banality. So I took the first out I could find. And I could not have been happier of what my life has become. The only reason the contract exists is because my mother threatened humanity’s livelihood should I stay there. If it were up to me I would’ve never have come back. I had to sign that to save the mortals

Zeus: how can you possibly be happy in the worlds basement

Persephone: hades is a good husband and provider. He respects my boundaries. He’s never strayed without my consent. And unlike you. He’s never purposefully killed anyone.

Zeus: and what of what he did to my son?

Persephone: ok. I shan’t defend him for that. Because he doesn’t defend himself for it either. He knows he did something disreputable. But he’s more then made up for it. Among other things he paid for and officiated the boys wedding

Zeus: where the Helios was I in all this?

Persephone: you were wine drunk, literally swanning about and harassing anyone and all naiads that stayed still long enough for you to approach them

Zeus (fondly): ah yes, good times, good times. Wait. Where are you going

Persephone: I’m going back home. Pain and Panic are good babysitters. But when Persey cries she tends to burn their limbs

Zeus: who cares. They’re the help

Persephone: they’re family.

(She leaves the way she arrived. On the isle. It’s dark, cold and barren. Hades (John Barrowman) is unconscious. There’s a large green and yellow bruise on his left temple. He’s woken up by the sound of crying)

Hades: hey kiddo. It’s alright. We’ll be ok. I tbini. We just have to get to shelter

(A very large very angry dragon jumps out of the fog. End of flashback. Underworld. Present day. Persephone is at her desk on her laptop)

Persey: see ya ma! I’m going out

Persephone: goodbye dear. Wait. Where are you going?

Persey: Auradon. Don’t tell me you haven’t heard? Chad Charming’s gone postal, stole Verna’s wand. Ben’s missing and Lonnie just sent out the batsignal.

Persephone: oh my goodness. Wow. Do you need me to help?

Persey: just look after our home.

(They disappear a wisp of steel grey fire. Outskirts of Auradon. Elsa’s unconscious on the ground. The girls have found her)

Lonnie: oh my god

Jane: your majesty

Dizzy: we’re off to a great start

Jane: your majesty wake up. Please wake up

Dizzy: the bazooka use the bazooka

Jane: right yes of course

(She squirts ends with the bazooka which instantly wakes her up)

Elsa: ouch. Use that sparingly dear. We may need it more than you think. Could somebody help me up please. Thank you Lonnie

Lonnie: what happened?

Elsa: I teleported here and then I hit something

Jane: it’s a barrier. She put up a barrier around Auradon

Dizzy: ohhhh she’s good. I mean she’s an evil psychopathic bitch. But she’s clever

Lonnie: how do we get inside?

Elsa: Jane?

(Jane makes confused questioning noises)

Elsa: if you would be so kind as to assist me in getting past the barrier?

Jane: ohhhh. Yeah sure let’s do it

(The ice queen and light fairy use magic to create a hole in the barrier. As they do so a flaming comet zooms down and crash a few feet away from them)

Elsa: what the hell

Barrowman!Hades: Name's Hades, Lord of the dead. Hi, how ya doin'?

Jane: fuck

(Elsewhere in Auradon on the school grounds Mal and the others have just touched ground. Mal’s a human again doubled over in pain)

Mal (groaning painfully): urgh. FuckDAMMIT!!!! Jesus I’m not made for this

Hadie (worriedly): are you alright

Mal: I will be. A minivan I am not.

Hadie: was this the first time you’ve carried this many people?

Mal: yeah. Normally it’s just Ben. And even then it’s only if he asks.

Hadie: really.

Jay: let’s just say he wouldn’t watch GOT for the political intrigue

Carlos: or HYTTD for the animation

Evie: or merlin for the story line

Hadie (knowledgeably): ahhh, he’s a scaly

Core four: yep

Harry: can you let me go now?

Jay: uhhhh. Nah

Harry: why?

Mal: because we may yet need a human sacrifice. And you’re the only schmo who fits the bill.

Harry: huh?

Carlos: Gil and I are loved by everyone. I’m the kings adoptive son. He’s the kings brother. You’re the ground people use to scrape gum off their shoes

Evie: that’s an insult to shoes gum and ground. And scraping

Carlos: my apologies. To shoes gum ground and scraping

Harry: I hate you all.

Jay: don’t expect us to lose sleep over it

Harry: besides. I’m the last person who should be a sacrifice

Evie: that specific criteria has been discontinued

Harry: huh

Jay: people like you can be scarified now

Harry: shit

Mal: oh no. Oh no no no no no. This is not good

Evie: they’re all asleep. DOUG

Mal: BEN

Gil: LONNIE

Evie: please pickup please please please pickup.

Mal: nonononononono. Gah. I miss you

Gil: please be safe

Jay: Jane isn’t answering either.

Mal: ok ok ok. So. The king. His major-domo/regent. And both their regents are missing. All the remaining students are asleep. It’s only half past two in the afternoon but I already want to take a brandy bath. Because Auradon has no leader. So we’re all screwed to fuckery

Jay: well that’s not entirely true is it. Hadie could you summon the three little bitches. Cause I really really want them to see this

(Hadie makes Uma, Harriet and Cj appear via grey smoke)

Uma: what the hell’a going on?

Harriet (very confused): we were still on the bridge and what’s all that funny coloureds stuf on the ground?

Jay: you three are gonna hate this. You, Uma, especially are gonna hate it. (In his announcer voice) NOW PRESENTING. MALEFICENT BERTHA. THE ACTING QUEEN OF AURADON

(He bows to Mal, closely floored by Carlos Celia Gil and Hadie. Evie is pulled to her knees by Carlos. Mal looks like she was just clipped by a car)

Uma: what?

Jay: well after the wedding she’ll be queen legally. But for now she’s just the regent. It’s wonderful don’t ya think?

Hadie: it’s marvellous. Now bow heathens

Harriet: fat fucking chance.

Jay: oh but Harry’s bowing to the one true queen

Harry: Celia bent my spine

Celia: it was my pleasure

Uma: I am not bowing to that.

Jay: oh you act as if you have a choice

(He uses magic to make the three pirates kowtow to the dark fairy)

Jay: there ya go. Isn’t that better?

(Mal takes a swig of her hipflask and disappears into purple smoke. Everyone stands up again)

Gil: where did mal go?

Jay: I think I know

Evie: then tell us ohhhh. Yeah. Sounds about right

Hadie: where is she. I’ll go to her. Me Evie and Harry

Harry: I don’t fucking think so

Hadie: she’s family. We have to help her

Harry: I’ll bring the coughing

Evie: if that’s going with you then mal will probably commit a sin on sacred ground

Hadie: where is it that she’s gone to?

Jay: you’ll see

(He moves his lower arm around creating a cloud of gold smoke that surrounds Evie and Hadie. When it clears they’ve disappeared. The smoke deposits them on stone steps. Hadie’s clutching Harry’s arm)

Harry: I hate you. I honest to mmmmother hate you

Evie: feelings mutual. Come on let’s go

Hadie: where are we Evie

Evie: where the king was crowned a year and a half ago

(They enter the cathedral . Only Mal is now where to be seen)

Harry: well she’s not here let’s go

Evie: up bup bup. There is one way to lure her out of hiding. Hadie the dagger please

Harry (having flashbacks to when he was 14): no Nono don’t you dare dont you fucking think about it. FUUUUUUCK! She did it

(Evie uses the dagger to slash Harry’s shin. He falls down in pain. Mal pops up from behind the pulpit)

Mal: I heard Scottish screaming (realises she was played) aw crap I shoulda known. I hate it when you do that

Evie: it’s a tested tried and true method. Plus it’s fun to maim him

Mal: yeah...(she heaves a sigh and sits down heavily on the stage) I’m queen. “Yay” I want Ben. Is that pathetic? It sounds pathetic

Evie (sitting down next to her): no. I want Doug. Does that make me ok pathetic?

Mal: no. It’s a change though. Did you ever think two years ago we’d be wanting our boyfriends here protecting us?

Evie: two years ago I wanted to sink my claws into a prince. Now I have the perfect man

Mal: no, the perfect man bypassed you and asked me out. But Doug’s a close second though

Evie (cackling): bitch

Mal: sister. Older by a day

Hadie: May I scoot in if we’re sharing things?

Mal (making a space for him between her and Evie): sure. What do you want to talk about?

Hadie: I never knew my mother. And before you say “don’t rub it in”. I wasn’t born on the island. I’m an Olympian by birth. But when Adam set the isl...you know what, let’s just call it what it is. When Adam created the prison he convinced our beloved uncle Zeus to put our dad there first. Theory was that if Satan could be subdued by a human. Then other “undesirables” would be easier to round up. So when I was two weeks old, Zeus and Hypnos used their combined magic to put him and I there. I have never known anything else. And the next year Hook uh “hooked up” with a street walker, Harriet. And uh

Evie: not a lot stuff to do over there

Mal: well you know except

Evie: don’t. Please. Don’t. It’s bad enough I’m related to that thing on the floor. But having to imagine THAT happening. Gah...it crosses a line

Mal: thanks for the nightmares

Evie: you started it.

Hadie: I’m a hedonist. A disciple of Dionysus to be precise

(Evie looks at him with her mouth agape)

Evie: well that took a turn

Mal: what is a “disciple of Dionysus”?

Evie: it’s basically some sort of cult. Mostly guys. Girls are there as well. I had the unfortunate honour of delivering a flyer to one of their clubhouses last month

Hadie: sorry about that. I told them to be a little bit more discreet after that

Mal (overjoyed): no

Evie (slightly sick): it can’t be

Hadie: I was eighteen and bored. What else was there to do but set up a club

Evie: try to find us.

Hadie: whenever I wasn’t with my friends or our dad I checked up on you. One time you were trying to puncture the barrier with magic. And another you were crying in an alleyway Mal. I even tried to make a wig for you when you were in the market place with a buzzcut Evie.

Mal: that’s actually quite sweet.

Hadie: I just want to tell my mother “don’t worry. My life wasn’t completely terrible. I’m happy”.

Mal: when this is over I wanna tell Maleficent “fuck you, you giant living accessory, fuck you”

Evie: I want to tell Grimhilde. “You were wrong. Princes are not for me, Doug is perfect for me and I eat what I want when I want”

Hadie (wistfully) and Mal and Evie (vengefully): I cant wait to see the look on her face

(This is when “hey look ma, I made it happens. At the school Gil has a peace offering)

Uma: what the hell are these?

Gil: berries. They’re amazing. Blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, fun fact, never get in a strawberry eating contest with Mal. You will lose. And need your stomach pumped

Uma: this is this supposed to make up for what you did? You betrayed me. Abandoned me for this. No amount of whatever this shit is is gonna erase that

Gil: I didn’t leave because I wanted to hurt you Uma. I left because it was best for me. You know as well as anyone that the island is an awful place for people like us. So, yeah, I left. But that’s what you wanted. I did what you wanted. Just not how you wanted it to happen. The fact of the matter is Uma, you scare me. I still love you. But you scare me. All I could think of at the dance when you were attacking the ship was “this is what I get for trying to be happy”. I still have nightmares about it. If you care so much about getting kids off the island why were you so mad that I left. Irrespective of who I left with. Shouldn’t you be happy I got away at all?

Uma (standing up to her full height which just barely reaches Gil’s chin): you left me. To go galavanting off with them. You may not think it. But a lot of sins are never forgiven. So no. I’m not “happy that you got away” because you betrayed my loyalty to do so

Jay: Gil, buddy, leave her to stew. She’s not worth it.

(Gil leaves heartbroken and joins Carlos and Celia near some of the sleeping students)

Uma: lemme guess. You’re his bit on the side? Or is he your chippy?

Jay (chuckling sarcastically): oh Uma. He’s with Lonnie. I’m with Carlos. He and I are not together. But he’s done so well here. He’s great at chess and tourney and R.O.A.R. He’s set up a book club. Every month he goes to the isle and hands out flyers and food and blankets and weathers the hate he for it. He’s a good guy. And him “disrespecting you” wasn’t malicious. Because here’s the thing. You seem to be belabouring under the impression that this is your story. It’s not. It’s ours. It’s always been our story. Mal and me and Carlos and Evie. You don’t even get a look in until way way after this whole thing started. It is not about you. It has never been about you. I’m just sorry you still think that after all these years.

Uma: you don’t deserve to have people celebrate you after what you did.

Jay: what about what you did. You set Harry on Carlos five years ago. You kidnapped Ben and tried to murder him to get under Mal’s skin. Face it “Captain”, you say that what you do is for the island but it’s not. It never has been. What you did was for you. To make yourself feel less worthless than you are

Uma: so what now? You gonna kill me?

Jay: no. Not today. Not while Mal still feels guilty about the shrimpy incident. But I want you to know something. I would’ve done it you know. I would have murdered you if you murdered Mal and Ben. And neither Evie Doug Carlos or Dizzy could have stopped me. Because that is what you get when you mess with my family. And I would’ve made that thing that follows you around like a fixed mutt clean up your remains. Just bear that in mind next time you try to wrest control from my queen

(At the cathedral Harry’s trying to bandage his leg. Hadie sits down next to him and heals him with magic)

Hadie: there you go. All better

Harry: I guess I should say thank you.

Hadie: nah. Don’t expect you to. But I do wanna show you something.

Harry: what?

(Hadie flicks his wrist and there in a darkened bedroom. A baby’s bedroom. It’s filled with roughshod burlap sack stuffed toys hand stitched and fraying. A makeshift mobile of various coloured glass hangs above a safe looking but old crib)

Harry: where are we.

Hadie: where you should’ve been for the past nineteen years if I hadn’t panicked and took you to the Jolly Roger.

Harry: this is my room? At the wherever it’s was you lived.

Hadie: our room. At the lair.

Harry: holy shit. You two. You two wanted to

Hadie: yeah. Dad wanted to keep you. But I was four. You got stuck on the way out. I thought I broke you.

Harry: yeah well, a lot of people would say that there is as nuffink you coulda done

Hadie: I could d waited for dad to wake up. I could’ve asked her what to do.

Harry: like you said you four. When I was four I went down to the docks to try and get rid of ol leftie here. Thought it’d get dad to like me

Hadie: I know. I heard the story. Tick-Tock wouldn’t go for it.

Harry: why settle for the after mint when you can have the rotting steak? You can still see the scar. Look.

Hadie: is that why you carry the...

Harry: the hook? Yeah. That and added protection. For some reason people don’t really like me. Might be the skull face. I dunno

(Hadie laughs. Evie enters the illusion)

Evie (drolly): how sentimental

Hadie (brightly): hey sis

Evie: I mean I haven’t been this choked up since got a chunk of moussaka caught in my throat

Mal (also crashing the conversation): Doug made her laugh at a state dinner eight months ago.

Harry: well I’ve seen him. He doesn’t have to do much.

Evie: have you ever had a telekinetic wedgie?

Harry: no

Evie: oh. Then we’ll be in for a treat then

(Her eyes glow briefly, the illusion breaks and Harry’s lifted ten feet in the the air by the back of his underwear yelling in pain all the while)

Evie: you know, I’ve been thinking. The ember is defunct because calamari thee it in the bay. So we need to reignite it. And correct me of I’m wrong but hades has a massive temper problem?

Hadie: not for years but yes.

Evie: and Hook is the angriest person I know. So. If he by some twisted non miracle gets his hair set on fire while he’s holding the ember then it can work again.

Hadie: don’t appreciate the word phrasing. But I understand the general idea

Harry (bored): so how’re you gonna do it. Beat me up. Conjure up my worst fears.

Evie: talk to you. I’m just gonna talk to you. Believe me. It’s gonna hurt me a lot more then it hurts you. At least not physically

Harry: like I give a shit. Just get on with it so it can be over. Who’s got the pebble

(It conks him on the side of his head)

Mal (sarcastically): oops

Harry: ok first off. I hate you and your carcass needs to be burned with you still breathing.

Mal: immune to fire.

Harry: I meant iron.

(Mal lunges are him it Hadie holds her back)

Evie: now where was I? Oh yes. Breaking your spirit. You realise of course everyone hates you. Your father, us, Jay, Carlos, Ben. Hell. Even Gil only hung around with you out of pity. And Uma. The first chance she got she dumped you like yesterday’s trash. Because that’s what you are Hook. Trash. Useless rotting disgusting trash. Nobody loves. Nobody cares about you. Nobody wants you around.

Harry (nervously): Uma

Evie: threw you away and branded you traitor the minute you questioned her judgement. She never wanted a first mate or a, whatever it was you were to her, she wanted an easily malleable, easily swayed, lapdog. That’s all you were to her “Icarus”.

Harry (voice brittle): Harriet

Evie: lied to you for nineteen years. To save her own skin.

Harry (weakly): stop. Please. Stop

Evie: sorry for what I’m about to say Mal but it’s necessary. (Turning back to Harry). Did you stop when Carlos begged you to stop chasing him in the market that day. Did you stop when dizzy asked you taking all the money from the till? No? Then why the hell should I stop now? Face it Icarus. Nobody wants you. Nobody likes you. Nobody loves you! You mean nothing to anyone. You were born useless. You will die useless. So stop wasting everybody’s time and just do it. Die like the dog you are!

(Harry roars and lunges at her. She evades him easily and he crashes into the stage. He stands up. The verbal beat down worked. His eyes are glowing blood red. His hair on fire in the same colour. The ember has reactivated)

Harry: now it’s your turn

(He shoves his palm out and Evie’s thrown into the wall. Brass candle stands wrap around her neck and starts to dig into her skin. Evie screams hits and kicks at the air. Mal calmly walks up to Harry, uses the sceptre to stab him in the back and pulls out his heart)

Mal: put her down gently. Good. Now lie down like the bitch you are. (She notices Hadie looking at her in horror) what? Did you really expect me to touch him with my bare hands? Here you go (she swings the aorta over to him). You can put it back. You alright E?

Evie: yeah I’m ok. I’m just going to stomp on his face with SPIKED CLEATS!

Hadie: that horrible experience worked. Now we gotta try to make it work for all of us

Mal: how. And don’t say what I think you’re gonna say because I am not working with him

Hadie (sane time as her): we need to work together as a family

Evie: fuck

Mal: how’d you propose we do this then.

Hadie: friction. I think. When I got us out of the isle I rubbed the ember

Harry: and covered it in your own blood

Hadie: yes. So if we replicate that. Then maybe. Just maybe. We’ll all be able to use it.

Evie: good plan. But again. How do we all do it. Cause in case you haven’t noticed. There’s three of us. And one ember.

Hadie: Harry’s here as well

Evie: I know. I intentionally left him out. To me he doesn’t count.

Hadie: well dear you’re going to have to get into his headspace.

Mal: my Scottish accent is legally classed as offensive

Evie: it’s true. Absolutely fucking horrendous

Hadie: heh?

Mal: one time in class we had to put ourselves in the shoes of evil we hate most.

Evie: all four of us chose Harry.

Harry: now ya see what I gotta put up with?

Hadie: indeed I do.

Mal: gargh! Fine. We’ll do what you think is right. But only because I need to stop Maleficent. Ok.

Hadie (smoking giddily): ok

Evie: urgh fine.

Harry: whatever it takes for me to get away from these two twigs

(This is when “friction” happens)

[askauradonprep]

Descendants 3 Liveblog Part 3

- Ben is having gas masks distributed and wants to hear Audrey’s demands. Neat. 

- Audrey, demanding marriages isn’t a good thing and not being evil isn’t why you were dumped - you were dumped because Mal put him under a love spell and he asked her out without bothering to dump you. She urns a bunch of people to stone. 

- HARRY AND GIL ARE OUT I love it and Harry knocks the ember to the water. 

- UMA MY BABY IS BACK

- Harry is so happy, oh my god, I love it. 

- UMA WAS LOOKING FOR A WAY OUT ALL THIS TIME. Her condition is to get everyone off the Isle for the ember. She doesn’t trust her to save the world, it’s pirate time! I stan. 

- They crashed the bikes. Of course they did. 

- Uma turns down friendship and takes the lead. Mal gets pissy and takes it instead and looks like a punk, may I add. She gets so petty around Uma, it’s something. Funny though. 

- GIL AND CELIA ARE FREAKING OUT OVER AURADON. 

- Pfft, Gil likes grapes and Uma points out to Jay they don’t have food.

- Harry and Jay hate each other as much as Uma and Mal I love it. 

- Evie is keeping everyone on track. I get they hate each other, but they all lose if Audrey wins so they do need to work together.

- Audrey’s cheating Chad like a dog and throwing things, which is definitely killing this for me. Sure, Chad might be into it but still.

- Uma is the one who notices signs of Beasthood. Gil mentions he had an alley cat in his dad’s ‘man cave’ but no pets. 

- Evie is so protective of Celia. 

- Carlos says to get a rescue because Dude is taken. 

- Audrey brings the knights to life! This is fun as hell. I’m in love with this.

- This seems like the song is them working together for the battle, and not necessarily being friends, because they’re screwed if they lose. It’s easily my favourite so far. 

- So close to high-fiving. Oh well. 

- Evie, honey, you don’t have to become friends to work together to achieve an objective. I love how cute she is about the ice breaker.

- I adore Gil pointing out it was originally Uma’s plan. He’s a good boy.

- Celia is the cutest and I love her. 

- Gil and blueberries makes me so happy. 

- Harry is being a shit. GIL AND JAY ARE BEING CUTE FRIENDS. And yes, Gil gets a kick out of EVERYTHING.

- The Smee twins remain precious. Dizzy is having a nightmare so Celia comforts her and gives them a blanket, I LOVE HER. 

- Awww, Mal’s having second thoughts about the barrier. TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH.

- Uma remembers the true love’s kiss! She hasn’t used the L word, but Evie TRIES. She wants to be alone too. 

- Uma ships Devie, though she wants her to hurry up. I love it. Evie is so scared Doug won’t love her back, and I’m so sad. 

- Evie, baby, it’s okay to have been dating, even for a long time, and not call it ‘love’ yet. Love can take time. If it doesn’t work, it’s not necessarily the end. 

- It works though, of course, and Devie is precious. 

- BEAST BEN looks ridiculous but even so. 

- “Gaston’s dad didn’t handle pain well at all” - Yeah, well, Gaston’s guzzling toxic masculinity and gender essentialism juice like it’s Kool-aid so his dad being a douche who took his pain out on others doesn’t shock me.

- JANE CONNECTED A HOSE TO THE ENCHANTED LAKE AND IS USING IT TO SAVE PEOPLE I LOVE IT. 

- Janelos owns me. I love them so much. They’re so happy to see each other. 

- Pfft, Harry hits on Jane and it’s great. 

- Ben has no idea what’s going on, my poor baby.

- Mal thanks Uma and it’s SO AWKWARD.

- As much as I don’t like Chad, Chaudrey is dead to me. She shouldn’t treat him that way ( I’ll retract this if it turns out the sceptre is influencing her behaviour but right now we don’t know that). 

[mittensmorgul]

I love your meta so much. Especially right now. I've been seeing so much negativity on my dash recently complaining about Gabriel, the AU, Charlie, Buckleming, Cas' absence, etc, etc. Idk why, but it seems like every spn blog I follow rn is simultaneously freaking out about something, and it's really putting a damper on my enjoyment in the fandom. So just thanks for your meta, and so clearly explaining why everything makes sense. I wish all these ppl I follow would just come read your stuff 😟

Aww, I’m glad you’re enjoying my lil oasis of relative chill, and yeah I’ve been saddened and frustrated by some of the negativity too, but I’ll tell you what...

I do 100% understand where folks’ negative feelings are coming from, and I don’t expect everyone to watch the show the way I do. Everyone’s got stuff that bugs them, everyone’s got their own personal headcanons that they have accepted and held on to-- sometimes for years as regards characters that have been absent from the narrative as long as Gabriel has, for example-- and any suggestion that those headcanons and personally accepted theories can feel like a direct challenge.

A lot of what we do in fandom is purely emotional, you know? We love the characters, we see parts of ourselves in them, and when the show challenges our understanding of them, it can feel like a personal attack. I completely get why people might be upset about Gabriel returning.

Aside from his appearance in 9.18, where he wasn’t even real but Metatron’s literal narrative device inside the false reality experience he put Castiel through, we haven’t been given any reason to believe that Gabriel’s apparent sacrifice in 5.19 wasn’t exactly what it seemed.

The thing is, Fanon Gabriel has evolved into something very different from what Canon Gabriel ever was. He’s one of those characters where a LOT of people doubted his death had been real back in s5 just because his standard operating procedure had been deception and evasion.

There’s a post that I saw years ago regarding angel deaths that said, “Wings or it didn’t happen.” Because we know that when angels die, we see their wing prints burned into the ground/wall/whatever. But then Gabriel’s “death” scene was added with some commentary along the lines of, “Oops.” Because we saw his wing prints, and people STILL refused to believe they were real, and that it wasn’t just another trick of the trickster, and that he’d be back to fight another day.

Thing is, over the years that Gabriel DIDN’T return, people began to assume it was because he really was dead, because why WOULDN’T he have come back to deal with any of the other nonsense-- beginning with Raphael’s attempt to restart the apocalypse even after Gabriel’s presumed self-sacrifice in an attempt to stop it? People accepted that Gabriel had been convinced to nobly sacrifice himself trying to stop Lucifer, and that he’d truly “redeemed” himself in doing so. That his supposedly selfless act had tied up his character arc with a tidy bow.

But... that’s not what happened, and at first I was ???? about why they would want to open this long-closed set of wounds, but then I actually used my brain to contemplate WHY they would choose to bring him back now, and WHY they would supposedly “retcon” what on the surface had appeared to be a “good death” for Gabriel.

And I realized they haven’t retconned anything, and those old wounds had been festering for the last eight years, because nothing about Gabriel even remotely suggested he’d redeemed himself. And not just for Gabriel’s own personal redemption arc, but because how UGLY the fact that Gabriel having been allowed a “noble death” somehow excused all the bullshit he’d lumped on Sam since 3.11. Mr. “Shut Up And Play Your Roles” was only playing his own role all along... he was the messenger, he delivered the message, and then got the heck outta Dodge. I mean... this is the most in-character thing Gabriel said:

SAM: No, Gabriel, don't -- you -- you can't just walk away. If Michael comes here, he will end this world.GABRIEL: And the last time the world was ending, I put my money on you. I think you can pull it off again.

He’s still delivering messages and flapping off again. Like he said way back in 5.08, he doesn’t care who wins or loses, he just wants all the fighting to be over. He doesn’t care how it happens or even if it takes all of creation with it.

So what’s the one thing he’s said that contradicts this read of Gabriel? What he said to Lucifer in 5.19 about humanity:

LUCIFER: So you're willing to die, for a pile of cockroaches. Why?GABRIEL: Because Dad was right. They are better than us.LUCIFER: They are broken. Flawed! Abortions.GABRIEL: Damn right they're flawed. But a lot of them try. To do better, to forgive. And you should see the Spearmint Rhino! I've been riding the pine a long time. But I'm in the game now, and I'm not on your side, or Michael's. I'm on theirs. 

But then we learn what actually happened... because why would Gabriel suddenly have gone from teaching lessons to humans who didn’t live up to his personal code to willingly DYING, and dying POINTLESSLY on their behalf?

CASTIEL [reading the Enochian]: “Per usual, my brother had double my brawn and half my brains. He assumed the counterfeit me was what vanished that night, and he thought that he'd stabbed the real thing. The truth is, the thing Luci skewered was a fake. [flashback showing the real Gabriel watching Lucifer kill an illusion.] There are plenty of fakes to go around. Everyone believed Gabriel was gone. And suddenly, I was free. No obligation to God or Heaven, or mankind. And so, I did what anyone would do -- I moved to Monte Carlo and shacked up with porn stars.”

THAT is actually in line with everything we’d learned about Gabriel up to that point. If, you know, you don’t apply any of the fanon!Gabriel stuff that’s been draped around the actual canon!Gabriel’s character.

For one, I am THRILLED that he’s back, because if ANYONE deserves to give Gabriel a piece of his mind, it’s Sam Fucking Winchester. 

And I’m willing to wait for Gabriel’s return in 13.20 to get the full story, because I’ve NEVER actually been satisfied that Gabriel’s redemption-by-death in 5.19 wasn’t just the final cruel trick he played on Sam. And his parting words to Sam in 13.18 kinda proved that point to me.

Now as to the AU, I have no idea how AN ALTERNATE, ENTIRELY DIFFERENT UNIVERSE is supposed to be anything other than a point/counterpoint comparative tool to the original narrative. I have no idea how it’s even possible for A DIFFERENT WHOLE UNIVERSE is supposed to change any of the facts we know about the regular SPN universe, so people getting pissy about “retcons” in the AU are just spinning their emotional wheels in the mud here. If it makes them happy to be mad about stuff, I guess go off or whatever, but it’s like comparing Portland Maine to Portland Oregon and being mad they’re not the same place.

Now as to AU Charlie, I wrote a post the other day that pretty much covers my feelings on the fandom reaction to her:

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/172915586795/how-do-you-feel-about-the-au-characters-that-are

But Gabriel? Yeah, I’d been meaning to post something about why I felt like it was the perfect time for him to return to the narrative, because he never really did earn any sort of a REAL redemption, and I love the fact that the show is truly acknowledging that.

He was the original “Play The Roles Destiny Has Written For You” character that TFW (and ESPECIALLY SAM) has desperately needed some resolution with for YEARS. He’s absolutely central to the “As Above, So Below” apocalypse era stuff that was only even remotely resolved by 11.23. And since he’s part of the unresolved threads that spun out of the post 5.22 fallout when the original ending was torn up, and Sam didn’t end up spending the rest of eternity in the cage with Michael and Lucifer, because locking up problems to make them go away isn’t actually a real solution to the problem here, and we’ve been going back and looking for the roots of all the actual problems and digging them out and actually dealing with them properly... well, if you like Sam at all, and hate the idea that he’d ever have to sacrifice himself and his autonomy and his own humanity in order to save a world that he wasn’t responsible for breaking... I mean, Gabriel didn’t break it either, but Chuck’s already dealt with his “original sin” of locking up Amara. Now it’s the archangels’ turn to deal with the problems of their own making...

And even if he was only ever a side player in that original apocalypse nonsense, Gabriel still played his own role, delivering the message. Now he gets to write his own script. Let’s see if his message is different this time around. If he’s got some better words.

[emulatcr]

INTRODUCING   //   :   ROMAN GOMEZ    ( NO AFFILIATION WITH VALENTINA GOMEZ )

fandom: twilight / original character age: twenty --- nine residency: forks , washington species: human occupation: police officer / forks police department muse est.: july 2018 face claim: carlos valdes

little bullet points bio:

so lets pretend we don’t see how much of the ‘cisco ‘ character i use as inspiration for his personality okay? okay ! lets begin!

roman did not live in forks all his life. he actually moved from cali at the age of 13 because of $$$. forks is significantly less expensive than california , after all.

growing up , his dad-o was a police officer and his mama was a 911 dispatcher. surprisingly , they did not meet at work but they found each other. Romantique.

his childhood was p normal tbh , there isn’t much to say there. he was a little pissy at first about moving because he was leaving all his friends and stuff , but he moved right in time for high school and it was all coolio daddio.

it’s not a surprise he ended up becoming a police officer. it was nearly Destiny.

now roman , he is Observant. he’s always been really good at standing on the sidelines and just reading body language and , anyways , the cullens make him suspicious. he doesn’t know of what but he finds it strange that they look like they don’t age at all … in fact they look too perfect to him. and , sometimes , he swears they take too long to breathe … they just don’t seem right ( sometimes , he jokes that they’re probably aliens ) but he has literally nothing to back this claim up. still , he doesn’t trust them.

bella raises his suspicions the most. ( post breaking dawn )

absolutely thinks they’re probably aliens

he has been to la push only a very few handful of times , so he has no suspicions over there

personality wise? big teddy bear. a dorky little thing. he really is a little nerd , though , and isn’t scared to admit that. yeah , he has a very hyper detailed batman full body costume in his basement with all his other nerdy shit but guess what? he loves living his best life! he’s patient and his looks can be a bit deceiving? others would think he’s incapable of being tough but he is very capable of it.

he’s kind of just like a p regular guy who just wants to Get Out There and SAVE LIVES , KICK ASS , STOP CRIMINALS and FIGURE OUT WHY THE CULLENS ARE FUCKING WEIRD

miscellaneous information:

he was in the big brother / little sister program at the ages of 15 - 17 , a program that pairs an older kid with a younger kid for a few weeks. the older kids are expecting to mentor and help the younger ones. during his final year , there was a shortage of ’ big sisters ’ , so roman had to become an honorary big sister.

movie crier … once a movie is Emotional , ya boy is in Tears

big tmnt fan , absolutely had 4 turtles and named them all after the turtles

has been in love and had his heart broken once at the age of 18 while in college , hasn’t ever been in love since

doesn’t swear it off but he isn’t itching for a romance either

is demisexual so he isn’t hooking up left and right either

loves karaoke , toxic by britney spears is his signature song

is closer to his mother than his father , he is a mamas boy in that respect , but also his father is sort of traditional too so he kind of just wakes up , eats , goes to work , eats and then sleeps

[bunny-lou]

Why not something before canon about Harlos?Maybe something noncon and possessive Harry? Btw love you sweetie 👏👏

Calling me petnames and leaving little nice comments is a sure way to get your prompt filled sooner than its turn because affectionate names are my weak point.

Also, this is Harry Hook’s perspective, it’s gonna deal with some violence and dark desires.

Despite the protest from every customer in the restaurant, covering their ears and howling like a bunch of dying cretins, Harry doesn’t cease in dragging his hook over the stove stop until someone is clutching his wrist and stilling him.

“If you scratch the metal,” Uma sneers, “I’m using your own hook to take out one of your eyes.”

Harry scowls back, but he doesn’t bare his teeth like he so badly wants to. He’s pissed and territorial, not disloyal to his captain.

“The bastard has moved on,” she releases him and ow, why does such a small girl have such a strong grip? “He’s in Auradon, fucking princesses instead of pirates. Accept it.”

“No.” Harry glances back at the television hanging precariously in the corner of the room. True to Uma’s words, his little pup is holding the hand of a fragile dark-haired girl whose neck would snap as easily as a twig. The screen glitches every few seconds with static and bleeding colors, but Harry can make out a pretty little smile from Breakable Brunette toward the boy that isn’t fucking hers.

It’s an old re-run, a little commercial about the new King that Harry has seen a dozen times before, but it doesn’t infuriate him any less.

He’s possessive of quite a few people and Carlos Oscar De Vil has the honor of being one of the lucky few. Not that the brat ever recognized the privilege, squirming away from Harry’s hands and turning his head at every kiss.

“Damnit!” Uma snarls, shoving him backwards. “I told you to knock it off.” Oh, had he been scraping the metal again? Whoops. “Go fight some poor, unfortunate soul in the alley, come back when you’re less pissy.”

Harry begrudgingly follows her advice, spins out of the back door and swipes at the first cursed bastard he sees and slashes a banner with Mal’s face on it, posing beside the new king. It’s her fucking fault that Carlos left in the first place.

He needs a walk. And a victim. And he knows exactly where to go.

Months ago, Harry would have sought out the little runt and took his frustrations out on freckled skin (because the boy bruised so damn prettily). But Carlos isn’t here anymore. 

The runt has a nice, cozy life in Auradon now, had won a few science fairs or some bullshit according to the shredded remains of an Auradon Press that made it to the Isle. Carlos escaped months ago with his little band of misfits, but they had plans to return. All Harry had to do was bide his time until Mal took down the barrier and he’d find his toy again and make up all the days they were separated.

Then Mal choose good. And Evie did too. Then Jay. As soon as his cowardly friends made up their mind, Carlos followed suit because - for some unknown reason - he had loyalty and attachments to those three.

But not to Harry. No, the ungrateful brat didn’t even tell Harry that he was leaving for Auradon, he had found out through Gil almost half a day after they all left.

And, oh, Harry would make the runt suffer for that. No goodbye? No letters to him? No invites to Auradon too?

That was just impolite.

Harry growls at a few passersby, watching as they flinch back, and runs a hand through his hair. Just another block before he reaches Curl Up & Dye.

He hadn’t been surprised at the lack of contact from Carlos. He’s aware the attraction was always one-sided, but it was on the way to changing before the brat left!

The first few times, Carlos had sobbed softly and pushed against Harry. It took time and patience and - more than a few scars - but later, the boy knew to stay still as the tears were licked from his face. He use to run and hide from the pirate but had learnt to come at Harry’s request (in more ways than one).

And son of a bitch, it seems as if every effort Harry made to train the runt is being undone in Auradon by some stupid little fairy bitch with perfect teeth and hands he would love to shatter.

He’ll make her pay too though, Harry thinks with a quick bark at an elderly woman who just squeals. Maybe pull out Breakable Brunette’s hair in chunks, rip out her tongue and turn her soft face into mangled ribbons.

And make Carlos watch.

Harry sighs and pouts. Carlos is gone, but there are plenty of other sorry whelps here. Skipping into the beauty salon (and looking at the customers, Harry uses that term loosely), he’s about to pay a visit to one.

A girl with a paint-splattered dress and wild hair in pigtails doesn’t even notice him until Harry speaks to her.

“Fork it over, ya brat.”

Dizzy’s eyes widen and she flinches at his voice, making quick work of giving him the money in her shaking hands.

Her fear is so soothing.

But it’s ruined by one irritating, familiar voice. “Still running errands for Uma? Or do you actually get to keep what you steal?”

“Well, well, well.” Harry turns to face Mal, with her nose upturned because the bitch is convinced she’s an Auradon lass and can look down at the people she was once friends with, pretending she’s cleaner and more civilized than any of them. “What a nice surprise.”

Which, she is. Maybe she’s not back alone.

“Hi, Harry.”

“Ye’re not here by yerself, are ye?” Harry cooes, pushing Dizzy out of the way like she’s nothing. “Ye hardly go anywhere without yer dog.”

Mal frowns, tilts her head. “What are you talking about?”

“Jay’s yer vicious pit bull, the princess is yer pretty poodle and the runt follows ye anywhere.” To Auradon, to the good side, to abandoning the Isle.

“They’re not here. It’s just me.”

In one broad swing, Harry sends Dizzy’s pitiful table to the wall, glass shattering and hair dye decorating the floor. When he turns back to Mal, teeth bared in the shape of a smile, she’s astonished.

“What the hell was that for?” She’s shocked and angry, but not afraid. Mal has always been too stupid to be afraid of him.

That doesn’t stop Harry from trying as he invades her personal space and towers over the girl. “My little runt, he’s still in Auradon?”

“Who?”

“De Vil!”

Mal looks at him with complete confusion, not a hint of understanding on her face. “Why do you care about Carlos?”

Oh Evil. If he hadn’t already flipped a table, Harry would have done so again. “Because that little dog belongs to me.”Maybe he was never public with his claim and Carlos always begged for hidden corners and shadow, but his dumb fucking friends ought to know. He never would have guessed Carlos kept him - kept them - a secret, like he was ashamed.

Still, there is no recognition or understanding on Mal’s face. “Carlos was never apart of the pirates,” she explains slowly, as if Harry is the one who is lost. “He’s my crew, remember?”

Harry sneers, towers over the purple haired girl. “Yer crew, but my pet.”

And realization flashes across her face. Green eyes widen and mouth drops in shock, mortified and crushed in a single expression.

But as quickly as it came, the look is gone. Her understanding is replaced with curled lips and glowing eyes. “It was you,” Mal hisses. “You left those scars on him. You’re what he was running from.”

That would maybe kind of hurt just a little bit if Harry chose to focus on her words. Carlos wouldn’t run from him, he came obediently at Harry’s call, went limp at his touch. Maybe Carlos hadn’t liked him yet, but there was something growing.

Harry clasps her arm, lets his grip become bruising and waits for the gasp of pain.

But Mal stays steady. “Dizzy,” she never takes her eyes off of Harry. “Go outside.”

There’s a shuffle behind Harry, but his focus doesn’t waver. “The barrier must’ve come down for ye to get back home,” because this is Mal’s home, Carlos’ too. No matter how long he stays away, he will always belong here, by Harry’s side. “Tell me how to get it down again.”

Mal fixes him with a withering stare, something that would put even Uma to shame, and if Harry were just a bit less crazy, maybe he would be scared. “No.” She growls. “As long as Carlos is in Auradon and you’re here, you’re never touching him again. Never.”

Harry throws her backwards. Mal stumbles but catches herself and smirks. “Go ahead. Take your frustrations out on me.” She saunters closer, mocking him with a snap of her gum. “Because Carlos is never gonna be your victim again.”

He’ll toss away his pride and beg Uma for the opportunity to behead this rotten bitch.

Speaking of his captain, she probably doesn’t even know Mal is back.

“We’ll see about that,” Harry whispers and moves back. A plan, nasty and calculating and horrible, forms in the back of his mind, beginning with turning Mal into Uma, continuing with a broken barrier and ending with Carlos curled into his side (as a willing partner, not a victim).

Harry skips out of the salon, snapping at Dizzy as he passes her. Oh yes, Mal would be the key to getting his runt back.

He just has to put it all in motion…

Whew, I don’t know how Mal was brought in instead of Carlos, but I kind of like how it all came out :)