#Captain Neutrino

[captain-neutrino]

I like shipping captaineer

[captain-neutrino]

My fanfic about Neutrino's "primary" canon timeline

Note: Nickname reserved for the captain’s close relations. Crew will refer to the captain by proper name and title

[ozzgin]

Yandere! Androids Walter & David x Reader x Neomorph

Walter, the android monitoring the colonization ship 'Covenant' on its way to Origae-6, seems to have gotten unnaturally attached to his human assistant. As he ponders his erroneous feelings, an unexpected detour brings them to David, an older android counterpart that has been alone on the mysterious planet. The AI assistants become increasingly competitive for (Y/N)'s attention, so much that they don't notice the newly formed humanoid local preying on a fresh target.

TW: violence, gore, monster smut ending

[Horror Masterlist]

"Burnt to a crisp." 

You turn away from the captain's pod, leaving the rest of the damage assessment to the medical crew that has been reanimated. You speedily make your way down the sterile white corridors as Walter rushes to catch up. 

"What should I write for the report?" he inquires politely.

"Malfunction." You glance back at the synthetic. "I suspect someone will be fired for this. And someone else will have to explain how they failed to detect a literal star collapse. That neutrino burst could've killed us all."

"Highly probable. The draft has been compiled, you may check it at any time. I require your confirmation to send it."

Your only feedback is a barely audible hum. 

Walter smiles. If there's one good thing about such tragedies, it's that he gets to admire your reactions to them. Your focused, calculated gaze, your determined walk, your automated mannerisms that won't allow the slightest hint at the fact you just woke up from your stasis moments ago. Even under the veils of deep slumber, your neural networks shot rapid connections, with no delay, from the second your sleeping pod received an alert. The accuracy of a robot.

That of course doesn't mean he lacks appreciation for your other facets. That's the beauty of humans; their depth, their dimensions. Unlike AI machinery, humans do not have predetermined actions. They may be genetically programmed to possess certain characteristics, but the psychological mechanisms are shaped by so many variables, billions and billions of tweaks and nudges, to the point where it's impossible to have two identical specimens. Even twins will display a difference, whether in preferences or habits.

They say artificial intelligence is a black box, but can the same concept not be applied to humans as well? At the very least to Walter himself, these organic beings represent a mystery. One he doesn't particularly care to uncover outside of his service functions. Except for one. 

His eyes carefully follow (Y/N)'s movements. What is it about this one that has caught his interest to such degree? On his last system update he attentively inspected every file and every block of code, searching for potential errors that would've caused his circuits to behave so oddly. He has been invested with the ability to form attachments, otherwise assigning his kind to groups or purposes would've lacked stability. Attachment, however, comes with a threshold. One he has passed a long time ago when it comes to (Y/N). And he cannot find any cause for it. 

He could, naturally, solicit the aid of the ship's robotics expert. He could. He should, even. But if he may be frank with himself, Walter rather enjoys this sensation. A complex web of spores that keep growing and evolving into something unpredictable. This bizarre feeling he has towards (Y/N) makes him feel human. It brings him closer to all the old literature and art he'd consumed over the years, wondering what the love and yearning often portrayed could be. The printed letters and the strokes of paint were right before him, at his fingertips, and yet they felt foreign. Empty constructs, nothing more than a definition out of the dictionary. 

Now it's a different story. Your presence alone floods him with a mysterious warmth. He had investigated this phenomenon when it first happened, but his inner thermostat showed no real change in temperature. Nonetheless he can feel it. It makes him wonder what other feelings he might experience as consequence. What would happen if he kissed you? Sometimes he even dares to imagine downright outrageous, improper scenarios. How unprofessional of him, but he is careful to erase any evidence. It's another novel sensation that he likes to dissect. Engaging in such activities with you fills him with tingling excitement. Why is that? What is there to be excited about? It's merely a collection of fictive snippets. Unless... Ah, absolutely not. This is where he has to stop in his tracks and preoccupy himself with something else. Androids are not to interact with humans in that way. 

But it's becoming more and more difficult to keep these ideas in his mind only. 

"It's too dangerous. One human signal in the middle of nowhere?" Daniels, a short haired woman with a tomboyish but youthful appearance, is pacing back and forth. "We should just continue on our course."

"It's our duty to check. Look: we go, find whoever sent the signal, bring them back up. That's it. If the planet proves to be dangerous we'll stop immediately. We'll be fine." Oram stands at the head of the table, arms crossed. He turns to look at you. Already cozying up to his newly acquired captain role, you think.

"Alright. Walter, prepare a small landing party. Have Tennessee maintain orbit while we're down there." you glance at the other crew members that have now gathered around the same table. "And get your weapons ready, we don't know what to expect."

And you certainly didn't. Your final words of warning now echo into your ringing ears as you lay on the ground, face buried among the grass. There's screaming around you, but it sounds muffled. Your eyes are irritated by the dirt and you'd like to blink the grime off, though every time your eyelids lower, you can see the pale creature trashing out of Hallett's mouth. Then it's all foggy. Your vision blurs, but you can hear. The gurgling of blood, the screech of the parasite. Walter's frantic footsteps nearing in your direction. You're lifted up.

"Vitals are positive. No significant damage." 

You can guess from your peripherals that another crew member is currently being mauled by the beast. There's gunshots in your vicinity and terrified wails. You quickly come back to your senses and stand up. Your hand searches for your weapon, but the android places his arm before you.

"Do not engage, (Y/N). It is an unknown parasitic organism of this ecosystem. Keep your distance for optimal safety and I'll take care of the rest."

"What are you talking about? They're dying! Your task is to ensure human survival, Walter. I can handle myself, go help the others. It's an order." Your voice is low. You're distracted.

"No."

You stare at the synthetic, wide eyed. Did he just...refuse? Not possible. 

"What did you say?"

"I said I'll protect you. Nothing else."

Your mouth is slightly parted in disbelief. It is not possible for an artificial assistant to disobey a superior. It just doesn't work. Your mind races to find an explanation. At the same time, you cannot afford to ponder on hypotheses. You draw out your weapon and point it towards the creature. You'll deal with this later. 

The moment you press the trigger, a blinding flash of light detonates in the sky, startling you. The creature scrambles to get away. You squint your eyes and nearly fall back, but Walter swiftly grabs your shoulders to ground you. He scans the area for the source. It's an emergency rocket and someone else must've activated it. As he traces the tail of the explosion, he spots a hooded figure across the field and onto the rocky ascend. It seems to have noticed Walter, as it gestures for them to follow. Without hesitation, the man firmly locks your arm and pulls you after him. The priority right now is to find shelter.

"Come!", Walter exclaims, suddenly remembering the other people. 

You reach a cave structure that has been converted into a crude, improvised human settlement. The man lowers his hood and you gasp quietly at the sight. He strongly resembles Walter. He must have noticed your surprise as he flashes you a cordial smile. 

"I'm David." He studies Walter's features. "You must be a newer model. What name have you been given?"

"Walter."

"I see. And you are-" David extends a hand towards you for a handshake, but Walter steps in front of you, blocking the android's gesture.

"She's (Y/N). I'm afraid I cannot yet trust you."

"Understandable." 

David's smile widens as his eyes, now bearing a strange flicker, switch between you and Walter. He's just like him. He can sense it. Although it's a different kind of flaw that has tainted his pure, artificial soul. He cannot help the curiosity that blooms, gazing at this peculiar pair. What is it about this human that caused his fellow machine to break conduit? He'd like to know.

"I'm certain you will soon learn I am no threat, (Y/N)."

The remaining members of the expedition are unpacking and discussing evacuation plans with the base, while Walter sends the data he has gathered so far. You let them deal with the logistics and cautiously wander off to the neighboring rooms, wondering what David has been up to all this time in isolation.

The walls are plastered with photos and handwritten sketches and diagrams. You catch a glimpse of the word "pathogen" sporadically inserted across these notes. As you walk along the sequence of cramped chambers, you reach one that has a table in the middle. Upon it rests the body of an autopsied woman, vulgarly opened up to the world with plump organs bulging under the warm light. You feel nauseous. And yet, you examine the carcass further, hoping for answers. Was she also a result of the same disease that breeds on this planet? Perhaps this David had worked on a cure, or at least developed an explanation. 

"And you, even you, will be like this drear thing, A vile infection man may not endure; Star that I yearn to! Sun that lights my spring! O passionate and pure."

You jolt and immediately turn around, finding David in the doorframe. 

"Flowers of Evil. Are you familiar with it?" he asks, indifferent to the uncomfortable shock he'd caused you with his sudden entrance.

"I've read my Baudelaire, yes." You manage to mumble, dumbfounded. "What is this, David?"

"Oh, my poor, dear Elizabeth. Victim to whatever blasphemy lurks these soils and has taken your friends as well." He approaches the table and places his hand on its hard edge, shyly overlapping with your own fingers. "I did my best." 

You remove your hand from underneath his nonchalantly. 

"So you know what those creatures are. Leave the literary comments for a different time, I need concrete facts."

"Unbothered and to the point." the blonde android smiles once again. "I can see clearly why Walter loves you."

You click your tongue at the ridiculous statement. Has the neutrino burst damaged their positronic brain? Everyone is acting off and you don't like it. 

"Your circuits must have gone defective, David. We have a specialist on our ship, but until that happens I need you to focus. Enough nonsense." 

 "Typical arrogance of a dying species. Why are you on a colonization mission if not to grasp at some promised resurrection? Rest assured that my functioning has not been impeded by anything. What is erroneous, on the other hand, is your perception of androids and their limits."

Just as David reaches for your wrist and pulls you closer, a familiar voice interrupts with an intimidating tone. You're relieved. 

"I will ask that you release her hand only once." Walter has a weapon pointed towards his counterpart. His face is clouded by a frown. "I have no ethical restrictions when it comes to incapacitating machinery."

"Such noble obedience! Although, you conveniently left out the part where you abandoned the remaining crew with a dangerous alien that has been tracking their scent. By my approximation he should already be here and I am rather confident you know this, too."

Your stomach drops. Now that you adjust your focus, the background humming of your mates talking has indeed vanished. The only thing you can hear is your erratic breathing.

"Is it true, Walter?" You demand as dread begins to form in your body.

"Yes. It was not part of my priorities."

"Of course it was, Walter." David responds ahead of you. "One of them was the acting captain and he is to be rescued in emergencies. This one right here", he says as he dangles your wrist, "is several ranks lower than all of them. It's against any standard practice."

"Release her hand." Walter's voice is eerily calm.

"Do you love her?"

Walter ponders the question. Your legs barely hold on.

"I do."

"Marvelous. So do I." David grins. He releases your hand that falls limp next to your body. It's his turn to step in front of you. 

You nearly choke from the thick tension expanding in the air. The two androids face each other and you retreat to the wall, unsure how to proceed. You left your radio transmitter back at the makeshift camp. The back of your head is itching, as if invisible claws are scratching at the bone. You wish you could go back, just mere hours before this disaster, when you were sipping on your lukewarm coffee and explaining the captain's jokes to Walter. 

Should you make a run for it?

You bite your lower lip and push yourself off the wall for momentum. You're about to reach the archway when you hear both men shouting almost identically in chorus.

"Don't!"

The surroundings outside are dark, but you can discern something blocking your path. It's tall and resembles a human. Translucent, pallid skin is clinging onto the massive, deformed skeleton. The head is elongated and bears no features. In the place of a mouth there is a large, fresh stain of blood, so you assume it can somehow improvise if desired. As your head tilts back to take in the image, you're overwhelmed with terrified amazement. Is this the parasite that emerged from your teammate? Has it grown to this colossal size in less than a day? The idea of such instant development makes your head spin. 

Its chest is expanding at regular intervals in a whistled breathing. It occasionally creates an odd clicking sound that resonates with your heart throbbing in panic. Has it been seconds? Minutes? Your neck creaks as you try to look back. You lock eyes with Walter. You don't recall ever seeing this expression on him. You had even asked him once if androids can feel fear. You have your answer.

"Hey, Walter..." you blurt out. 

Wet noises of flesh being pulled back. The smooth surface of the alien's head is folding away, making space for grotesquely big jaws lined with sharp teeth. Your anemic face is splattered with burning drool as the creature claws you in its grasp and abruptly sprints away. Your screams for help dissolve in the distance.

"Where is it going, David?" The synthetic's words are threatening, but betrayed by a hint of despair. 

"It won't kill her."

"How do you know?"

"It is no longer hungry. It has fed on your crew, and now it seeks something else."

"Such as?" Walter becomes impatient.

"A plaything."

The alien finally drops your body to the ground. You cough and wipe your face, attempting to reorient yourself. The trip was a whirlwind of jumps and turns and you can barely reconstruct anything. Based on the little spatial clues you could pick up, it just climbed further up, into one of the many cave systems. You pat your clothing and curse to yourself. The geolocation tag must've fallen somewhere on the way here. You can only pray that Walter still finds you somehow. Despite everything, you know he has your back. Always. 

You shudder at the moist feeling of hot air against your skin. The alien seems to be sniffing you intently, analyzing your scent. Yet so far it hasn't killed you. Why? Long, bony fingers stretch out to continue the examination. You whimper at the rough, rugged handling. Every now and then it takes a long pause, just staring at you, almost as if it's comparing you to its own being. Lastly, it lifts your hand with its own, pressing against the palm, and fans out the fingers. It observes the gesture with intrigue, noting the similarities. 

Does it evolve after its host? You think back to your crewmate that must've ejected this monstrosity before drawing their last breath. Perhaps the dried up blood adorning its skin is a remainder of its birth. Oh, God. The world is spinning.

Suddenly, you wince at an increasing pressure slithering around your thigh. The alien's vertebral tail is tightening and encircling your limb, making its way up. 

"Oh no, no no no no" your face reddens at the realization and you pounce on the ground, feverish for escape. The large hands secure you in place and the creature growls in protest. It won't let you leave. 

Not until it had its fun with you.

[jpitha]

Used to Humans

Lots of "HFY" and "Deathworlders" and "Humans are $Adjective" stories understandably talk about early days with humans in the galaxy. It's fun to think about how humans could be different from other sapient species and how the things that we do that are normal to us could be seen by others. Eventually though, everything gets explained and the galaxy moves on, right? What does it look like when everyone already knows about the wild things humans do.

****

Vic burst through the door into the lounge. "I've got it! If we can route the neutrino stream away fro-"

Resimar and Pel'im didn't look up from their card game. Many of the games humans brought into space are popular, but almost all pale in comparison to the humble deck of cards. The idea of pieces of laminated paper with numbers and symbols on them to play hundreds of different games was appealing across all sapient species in the galaxy. Resi and Pel were currently deep into a Pinochle tournament.

Without looking up at him, Pel'im says, "Nice work Vic, I'm sure it'll work great." He sighs and flicks his eyes up to Resi. "twenty five points." Resi makes a face, but flicks her ears, indicating agreement.

Vic looks at both of them, incredulous. "You don't want to know what I figured out?"

Resi puts down four cards. "Kings around."

Pel snorts. He takes a moment to move the cards in his hand to a slightly different orientation. He doesn't look up at Vic. "Vic. How long as humanity been in the Galaxy?"

"Uh, more than one hundred Earth years now?"

Pel nods. "Right. And in that time, how many planets did you destroy?"

Vic thinks for a moment and looks down at his pad. "On purpose, or by accident?"

"That's entirely his point, Vic!" Resi looks up at Vic while Pel fusses at his cards. "For the last hundred and something years, when something wild has happened in the galaxy, you go to the center and you find one or more humans, either cackling with laughter or covered in soot going 'I had no idea that was going to happen!' We're just used to it now." She frowns at the cards in her hand. "You usually clean up any messes you make, so go nuts, have fun. Tell us when it's over. Is this going to be like the 'Apple Pie' incident again?"

"Double Pinchole!" Pel throws down both jacks of diamonds and both queens of spades, triumphant "That's thirty points, and my win for this round.

Vic crosses his arms. "No, it won't be another Apple Pie. For one, I know more about your physiology, for two, HR has forbid me from the kitchen, and for three the captain says that it wasn't that big of a deal actually, and nobody was seriously hurt in the end."

Resi sighs and scoops up the cards, carefully arranging them and with her smaller than human hands very carefully shuffles them. Pel leans back and takes a sip of his tea, satisfied.

Vic stares at them, deflated. "Oh. Uh, okay then. I'll let you get back to your game. Who is winning?"

Resi snorts. "Pel currently, but the tournament is not over yet."

Pel leans back and makes a gesture like rolling their eyes. "It basically is."

Later that day, when the bulkhead doors slammed shut to prevent all the atmosphere from venting from the ten meter hole that appeared in the hull near Vic's workstation, Resimar wondered if she should have expressed more interest in what Vic was working on.

[howthebestwaslost-blog]

@dwrogue put the image of a surprise Rose-Doctor reunion (feat. TenToo, Donna and Fourteen) in my head, how could I resist.

Rogue: Explain to me again how she ended up with clone you?

Fifteen: Ok, so, I was lying in bed, recovering from regeneration and my first kiss in 200 years, minding my own business…

Rose: An alien chopped his hand off.

Rogue: In your bed?

Fifteen: No, it was in a really cool sword fight on top of a spaceship, actually.

Rose: He was still in his pyjamas.

Jackie: Howard’s pyjamas.

Rogue: Who’s H-

Fifteen: But I grew a new hand, because Time Lords are awesome.

Rose: And we later found out that Jack picked up the spare hand and put it in a jar.

Rogue: Who’s Ja-

Fifteen: No one.

Donna: Captain Jack Harkness. He’s a gorgeous time travelling space con man.

Rose: Nice blue coat.

Donna: Nice ass.

Rogue: Sensing a pattern.

Fifteen: Anyway, he hauled that jar with my hand around for a while and it ended up back in my TARDIS.

Donna [munching peanuts]: Creepy.

Fifteen: Then the Daleks stole and invaded the Earth, and Rose came back -

Rogue: From where?

Fifteen: Other dimension.

Rose: Little accident when we tried to send the Daleks and the Cybermen into the void.

Rogue: Sensing a pattern.

Donna: But she made it back!

Rose [mock salutes]: Dimension cannon.

Fifteen: - and I got a bit distracted when I saw her, so they shot me.

Donna: Good thing Jack appeared out of nowhere with his big gun. [indicates size]

Rogue: Who exactly is this Ja-

Fifteen: And they helped me back into the TARDIS, where I regenerated.

Donna [still munching peanuts]: Super emotional.

Fifteen: Fortunately, I had a spare hand to channel the energy into, so I didn’t have to change my face. Honestly though, had I known what’s down the line…

Fourteen: Oi.

Rose [softly]: I really like yours.

TenToo: OI.

Donna: It’s the same face, dumbo.

Rogue: You do like them rude, don’t you.

Fifteen: Then the Daleks stole the TARDIS, and Donna got locked in and dropped into the Z-neutrino core of the Dalek station…

Rogue: Sensing a pattern.

Donna: I had this weird thumping in my ears, and when I touched the creepy hand jar…

TenToo: WHAM!

Donna: …naked Time Lord.

Rogue:

Fifteen: Then all three of us defeated the Daleks, because Donna was suddenly smart -

Donna: Oi!

Fifteen: She got better. And I took Rose back to her dimension and left Spare Me in her care and, you know, everyone was happy.

Rose:

Donna:

Fourteen:

TenToo: Well, I was.

Fifteen: And that’s what happened.

Donna: Yeaaaah. That’s all that happened.

Donna: That’s all that happened. For fifteen years.

Fifteen: So who wants tea?

[brown-spider]

Your art style remind of someone that was actif in the Markiplier Cinematic Universe fandom. Are you Captain Neutrino?

That's me!

[agent-toast]

fowlfest2023 day 2!

was originally going to record this with my voice but i didn't like how my voice sounded so here have this:

\/ Artemis Fowl's Audio Diary, Disk 34, encrypted \/

Hehehehehehehehhehehe

Hello, my dear Mud People. I'm pretty sure Artemis will eventually find this recording hidden in his audio diary, and then Juliet's definitely going to share this on Tumblr, so why not address you all personally?

If you haven't guessed, you're listening to Captain Holly Short, who has just hacked into Artemis' encrypted diary all by herself. Congratulate me as you wish.

[Foaly: HOLLY YOU LIAR I DID EVERYTHING]

SHUT UP FOALY 

[Foaly: WAAAAAAH]

Ignore the screeching in the background. Anyway, I'm surprised Foaly AHEM I MEAN I managed to hack into Artemis' database. His technology is pretty advanced, more so than the LEP's, I'd have to say. But I'm not complaining!

Let's see... this is technically Artemis' diary entry, so let's talk about the Mud Boy in question. It's safe to say all of you know he's a little- ah- wait, I'm trying to think of an English word I can say that allows me to insult Artemis but at the same time doesn't have to be censored... Oh, well, you get the idea. Gods, that Mud Boy's just begging for me to shoot him with my Neutrino. Heh, Butler probably feels the same way, even if he is Artemis' bodyguard. The arrogance of that boy knows no bounds.

His birthday's coming up, though, so I shouldn't badmouth him too much.

I guess... Arty does have his good points. He won't admit it, but he's grown a lot in the past several years. From a stuck-up kid in a suit to a genuinely caring slightly taller kid in a suit.

[Artemis: Holly. What are you doing.]

D'ARVIT Ahahahaha nothing Artemis happy birthday!

[Artemis: It's... not my birthday yet. But thank you. Now, if you would pass me my laptop?]

Uh what laptop??

[Artemis: The laptop you're so conspicuously leaning in front of.]

D'arvit.

[Artemis: Such atrocious language.]

Here you go. Hope you have a sad birthday, mud boy.

[Artemis: Did I hear you calling me 'Arty' earlier?]

NO

[Artemis: If you say so.]

[blue-mint-winter]

Star Trek Enterprise s1e08 Civilization

Well, I'm back to watching Star Trek!

The beginning of the episode has Archer and Trip act rather juvenile about finding everything found in space uninteresting unless it's a planet with living signs. I kind of agree with T'Pol, the three neutrino stars looked interesting.

This time they took her advice about not revealing themselves to the locals, the Akaali, so they prepared convincing disguises and the translating equipment.

I liked that little moment when Trip showed T'Pol to cover her ear. It was nice and thoughtful. She looks great with long hair too. And I thought maybe they would be found out as aliens because of her ears, but it didn't happen that way.

The whole episode is about investigating strange readings they found in the local shop. Turns out the shopkeeper Garos was also an alien.

The conversation during the investigating scenes (Q&A) was so wooden. Please, do not let Archer play a detective again.

Of course, Archer romances the local apothecary Riaan who helps him with his investigation. I've seen this trope play out so many times in Star Trek, there was nothing new.

Best part was the space battle. T'Pol is a great commander. She sounded so bloodthirsty when she merely ordered to target the weapon systems of the Malurian ship. And she didn't want to abandon Archer. The sentimental humans might think she was being nice and loyal, but it was a decision based on pure logic. She can't take over as a fulltime captain or she'd face mutiny from the human crew, so she needs Archer there.

Now we're supposed to believe no one noticed there were people shooting each other in the streets with phasers in broad daylight. No one saw the very illuminated ship taking deliveries in the night. Really? Pre-industrial doesn't mean stupid. I think it's quite possible the townspeople were already aware of the aliens coming and going but it's not like they could do anything about it. Riaan took the existence of aliens pretty well and in hindsight from the time she met Archer it seemed like she had her suspicions about where exactly he came from.

[kingofmeatballs]

Captain on Captain violence

@captain-neutrino i said I'll draw them and i did also i hope you got better bud (reanimated my sorta forgotten captainsona just for this interaction)

[captainsaltypear]

Yeah go ahead and plagiarize my prophetic nightmares hc, lmao

but only if u draw child Captain Neutrino with their dad Stan the Water Man JK JK

....unless?? 👀

I like to headcanon that stan just, adopts every captain he sees, but doesn't tell the other captain wheeler's about it so you get scenes like this

[captain-neutrino]

The Captain and their Head Engineer

[theserpentsnight]

Distracting the captain while they’re working <3

[floofle-universe]

Found some motivation to keep working on this, sharing more progress cuz oop

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #271: BREAKAWAY!

September, 1986

The Black Knight!

The Wasp!

Paladin!

--- Versus ---

Grey Gargoyle!

Yellowjacket!

Screaming Mimi!

Place Your Bets!

Huh! This is a good month for Avengers facing weird threesomes. Uh, three person villain teams.

But Screaming Mimi, Grey Gargoyle, and Yellowjacket are a very different grouping than Quantum, Halflife, and Zzzax!

For one, I imagine that none of these three are going to get beat in like five seconds like Zzzax did. For another, if there’s a theme here its indecipherable.

Anyway.

Pertinent last times in Avengers: the Wasp went on vacation to avoid an awkward conversation with Starfox (mood.) where she met a guy called Paladin and they hit it off. He couldn’t come back to New York to be her boytoy because he had his own career but they made vague plans to get together again.

Namor joined the Avengers, tried to not be angry at everything, partially succeeded. When word got out about him being an Avenger, it caused a public opinion split between those who remember all the times Namor flooded or invaded New York and those who remember him punching Nazis and his stints of grumpy heroism. Then he got sued for property damage. He demanded that the trial should take place as soon as possible but then got dragged off because of Atlantis drama.

Moonstone escaped jail and tried to stir up trouble by pretending to be a widow. She passed up several obvious escape opportunities once shit hit the fan so wound up getting exploded by Black Knight and captured. But the police that took her away were actually Absorbing Man and Titania, with an exciting new opportunity for her.

Also, Hercules has been chafing under Wasp’s leadership. Partially because of sexism. Not a great look.

That brings us to this:

I’m sure Wasp sometimes feels that managing a superhero team is like dealing with extremely muscular, dumb babies.

Black Knight explains the thing from last time with Byrrah coming from Atlantis to tell Namor that Attuma had taken over the city. And Namor rushing off declaring This Is Something He Has To Do Himself.

Wasp: “Oh, fine! I can’t believe Namor would just up and leave like that! What was he thinking of?”

Hercules: “‘Twas nothing wrong with the Sub-Mariner’s thinking! Facing Attuma alone is a point of honor! But then, I shouldn’t expect a woman to understand such things!”

Wasp: “What?!? I’ll have you know I understand honor perfectly well, Hercules -- but that’s not the point! It’ll take Namor days to reach Atlantis under his own power... we could have flown him there in a matter of minutes! Maybe you’d have thought of that, if you had something between your ears besides muscles!”

And she pokes him emphatically in the pecs.

He gets mad at her disrespect, she gets mad at his disrespect and Black Knight yells at Hercules to please not smash the chairwoman.

Hercules gets mad, squishes the rest of his snacking grapes, and stomps off.

Wasp tells Black Knight to let Hercules go cool off because he’s the one who’s out of line.

Black Knight: “But what if he doesn’t cool off? What if he doesn’t come back?!”

Wasp: “Then we’ll deal with it! All right?”

-and she too stomps off-

Black Knight, glumly: “Yeah, sure.”

Dane had to wait all of these years to join the Avengers, he shows up and Vision tries to become the internet and take over the world. But maybe things will settle down after that but NOPE! The government is withdrawing their support, the roster is a powder keg, and two of the stronger dudes have walked off to deal with personal stuff.

The secret though is that the Avengers are always about this level of dramatic. You’ll never not have any drama, Dane. You want a boring team go back in time and join the original the Champions.

Heck, things get soap opera but hard when you take primary focus on the Avengers, apparently.

Plus side, it got you an extended cameo in a movie so its not all bad.

Meanwhile, Hercules.

He’s walking down the streets of New York New York fuming “all my former wives together were not as demanding as the Wasp!” and that he’s considering ditching the Avengers and going home to Olympus because screw mortals and their folly.

When what does he encounter but a situation requiring stupid, brute force.

A MacRay Moving truck trailer has tipped over in the street due to a Subaru cutting it off. Nobody was hurt but the street is blocked.

Enter Hercules who has nothing better to do.

He confirms that the truck isn’t filled with breakables, spits on his hands, and sets the truck upright.

The driver only belatedly realizing that this isn’t just a random guy dressed the same as Hercules, it’s the actual Hercules!

Driver: “Lissen, my boss woulda taken this outta my pay! Lemme at least buy you a drink!”

Hercules: “Well, there be hope for mankind after all! Lead on, my friend!”

How very Hercules of Hercules.

Meanwhile, Wasp. Getting chauffeured and also still fuming about Hercules and Namor.

Wasp: Namor couldn’t have picked a worse time to play the ‘lone Avenger’! Just yesterday, he made such a big deal about going to court to face the insurance consortium that’s suing him for two billion. ‘Shouldn’t expect a woman to understand such things!’ Ohhh!

She’s so irritated that when a silent alarm trips at her Sutton Place apartment, she decides to handle it herself because “right now, I would welcome an excuse to hand somebody his head!”

Annnnnnd it’s Paladin.

Hi, Paladin!

His last job came with a big bonus so he’s decided to treat himself to spending time with Wasp.

So took the liberty of breaking into her home. But he brought champagne so that’s almost like being a good, uninvited guest.

From her angry expression, he deduces she’s angry but she says she’s not angry at him! She’s just got a lot of things going on and even though she’s glad to see him, it’s hard to just switch off that emotion.

He offers to listen to her woes which, hey, that’s like the bare minimum of a relationship but its good for him to hit that bare minimum.

Maybe this relationship can exist outside the carefree vacation mindset.

Wasp: “Believe me, you don’t want to hear about it! Lately things have been so chaotic --!”

Phone: BRR-RING

Wasp: “See what I mean? That’s probably more bad news!”

Oof, you should de-stress, Wasp. That’s a very negative attitude.

But she cheers up after receiving the phone call - evidently good news - and asks Paladin to escort her to a fun trip to Passaic County Jail.

MEANWHILE AGAIN, this book has a number of subplots, doesn’t it?

But meanwhile, the New York FBI offices.

Captain Marvel just comes in to Agent Derek Freeman’s office as a lightbeam because she’s as much a security threat as Kitty Pryde is in terms of just going wherever she feels like.

Anyway, it does him a startle.

And it’s not getting old.

I love when Monica alarms people by just appearing somewhere.

Anyway, Monica has come for information. And since the Avengers are still in the doghouse with their government information sources, Monica decides she’ll ask Agent Freeman. They’ve worked together a few times plus he seems like a cool guy who’ll bend the rules.

Which he agrees is the case.

With the Avengers’ losing their government information sources, Captain Marvel only heard about Moonstone escaping police custody from the radio. Because the Avengers get so much of their information from the news.

Derek confirms that Moonstone escaped custody and that it looks like she had super-powered help. AND - because it doesn’t rain but pours - its part of a recent pattern of other super-criminals breaking out of jail in recent weeks.

Grey Gargoyle, Whirlwind, and Mister Hyde have all been broken out of jail.

Agent Derek feels like this is being masterminded by someone but who and for what purpose escapes him.

It didn’t help that there was a recent string of murders of at-large criminals that confused the issue. Thanks, the Scourge of the Underworld. Ya jerk.

Monica asks Derek to keep her posted if he learns more. Which he’d be glad to. And not in exchange but - he asks her to dinner, basically. Which she’d be glad to, as soon as she has free time.

Captain Marvel: “I’m sort of tied up through next week, though. But after that... maybe you’ll keep me in mind?”

Agent Freeman: “Oh, I surely will!”

Agent Freeman thoughts: It’d be might hard not to keep a woman like that in mind! Gonna be a long time until next week.

Captain Marvel thoughts: What a nice invitation! Derek is so polite... so intelligent... so gorgeous! This could be a very long week!

They both have it bad for each other.

Captain Marvel nyooms back to Avengers Mansion and finds Black Knight shooting his sword with a science gun.

As one does.

Its not just for the hell of it though. Dane is trying to explore that new power his extremely cursed sword demonstrated.

It can slice through most things, it can deflect most energy but if its angled just right, it can absorb energy too.

And Dane can’t figure out whether its because the sword is made of some bullshit space metal or whether its because of all the spells Merlin put on it.

Captain Marvel: “Does that bother you?”

Black Knight: “A little! I’m the only scientist on Earth -- who has a magic sword!”

But since Monica came to him for help with her own powers, Dane puts the sword to the side for now to talk the electromagnetic spectrum.

He doesn’t know how much help he can provide since she seems to have mastered said entire electromagnetic spectrum.

So Monica narrows down her concern.

Sure, she can become x-rays and cosmic rays. And high energy radiation is useful for zipping through things but they’re too dangerous to use around people.

Black Knight: “Ever heard of neutrinos? They’re safer than mother’s milk!”

Captain Marvel: “I’ve heard of neutrons.”

Black Knight: “Neutrinos are different. They’re massless particles that can go through anything and everything! I think that if you learn to ‘tune’ yourself properly, you can become neutrinos. We’ll find out if that’s possible by testing you against the largest close neutrino source... the sun!”

God, I love superhero comics.

‘You should learn about neutrinos by going to... THE SUN.’

Anyway.

Elsewhere, later, in New Jersey.

Wasp and Paladin have gone to Passaic County Jail because they’re holding New Yellowjacket Rita DeMara.

Remember her?

She stole Hank Pym’s Yellowjacket outfit from Avengers Mansion, gave it a makeover, and then made the mistake of trying to rob Hank’s old lab at Janet’s house? And Janet thumped her good and gave her existential fright?

Anyway, Janet doesn’t know about the initial theft so wants to know from Rita where she got her Yellowjacket suit.

Rita snarks that she made it herself and then says she won’t say anything without a lawyer present.

And then her lawyer presents and declares it OUTRAGE that superheroes were interrogating his client without the presence of counsel.

Wasp immediately rips off lawyer’s lawyer goatee.

Not because she hates it when she doesn’t get to violate someone’s civil liberties. But because she recognizes the lawyer.

He’s not a lawyer at all!

He’s Gray Gargoyle! Foreshadowed as being at large earlier in the issue!

Also, Screaming Mimi!

... Uh... She was a superpowered wrestler, I think? But she’s big into supervillainy now.

Mimi says her scream should incapacitate an average person for 15 to 30 minutes so the two villains get to work.

They tear away their tear-away clothes to reveal their costumes. Mimi grabs Rita. And Gray Gargoyle decides that what he definitely should do is stone Paladin just so people go ‘wow the Gray Gargoyle has definitely been here.’

But Paladin jumps up and kicks Gray Gargoyle through the door. His head is fuzzy from Screaming Mimi’s scream but he’s not down.

Paladin decides he should press his advantage against Gray Gargoyle, while cautioning himself that Gray Gargoyle is stronger than he appears.

... Shortly before getting punched through the wall.

Womp womp.

Meanwhile, Mimi tries to rouse Rita and take her away, ha ha, but Wasp also isn’t as incapacitated as advertised either.

As about an ankle-high Wasp, she grabs Screaming Mimi and trips her. But Screaming Mimi screams as she falls.

And this time, the scream knocks Wasp out.

Things aren’t going well.

BUT, NINETY THREE MILLIONS MILES AWAY, Captain Marvel vibes in the Sun’s chromosphere.

She feels something that she thinks might be neutrinos and assumes a form that may be that.

Back at Avengers Mansion, the transmission is breaking up - probably because she’s transmitting RIGHT NEXT TO THE SUN.

Black Knight tries to ask her what’s going on but then realizes a fun science fact.

It takes eight minutes for a message to get to the sun. It would take eight minutes for a message to get back. It’s going to be sixteen minutes before he even knows if she heard him.

And he’s worried that she sounded strange while she was vibing on neutrinos and worried that if anything goes wrong, there’s no way to help her. BECAUSE SHE’S 93 MILLION MILES AWAY AND RIGHT NEXT TO THE SUN.

He gets distracted from that though because it turns out that Wasp managed to activate her emergency beacon, calling for reinforcements.

Since Black Knight is the only one at the mansion right then, he tries to contact the other Avengers.

Hercules doesn’t answer because he accidentally damages his radio transceiver while arm wrestling five sailors at the same time in a bar.

Captain America answers but he’s several hours away, biking around on his motorcycle.

Cap suggests that Black Knight contact Captain Marvel because she’s the fastest. But Black Knight is frustrated because of that eight minute delay each way if he tried to contact her, IF he managed to get through, and IF she isn’t just zoning out by the sun and doesn’t answer.

Black Knight: “No word from Herc, either! And in the meantime, lord knows what sort of trouble the Wasp is in! I may be her only hope! But if Captain Marvel should need help, and I’m not here...!”

Not sure what you’d do even if she did need help. Do you have a spaceship ready to go?

Anyway.

Back at the prison, Wasp regains consciousness after being Mimi’d.

Apparently to keep her out of the way, the villains put a wastebasket on top of her. Then Gray Gargoyle turned it to stone.

She just blasts a hole through it. Her Wasp sting yadda yadda small house.

Paladin is more incapacitated.

Gray Gargoyle pinned him under a filing cabinet and then turned it to stone.

He tells Wasp to go on ahead without him because the villains only have a couple minutes head start.

Wow, she wasn’t knocked out very long at all.

Gray Gargoyle actually complains about it, as the villains are getaway driving.

Gray Gargoyle: “You said they’d be out at least 15 minutes!”

Screaming Mimi: “I said the ‘average person’ ... neither of them was average!”

Fair point, fair point.

Anyway, despite the head start and driving a car, Wasp catches up to them and blows out a tire so they’ll crash into an overpass.

Okay, to be fair, they crash into an overpass because Gray Gargoyle had no confidence in Mimi’s ability to handle a flat, grabbed the wheel, and accidentally swerved into the overpass.

Gray Gargoyle complains that he didn’t just turn her to stone while she was passed out at the jail and y’know that’s a good point.

This firm clutching of the villain ball is on you, dude.

You put a stone trash can over her!

Wasp isn’t sure if she can actually beat Gray Gargoyle by herself when she’s still woozy from getting Mimi’d twice but she does her Waspish best, flying just out of reach and being really distracting.

Inside the overturned van, Rita DeMara wakes up surprised she’s in her Yellowjacket costume. She also is surprised that a radio starts calling for Mimi and Gray Gargoyle.

When she answers the radio, telling radio person that Mimi got knocked unconscious and Gray Gargoyle is chasing the Wasp, the radio person tells her that the important thing is that she ditch the other two and escape.

Back at the fight, Gray Gargoyle rips up a tree to try to swat Wasp with it. For irony reasons, probably.

But Black Knight shows up on his atomic steed, cuts the tree in half and then cuts it in half in a different way when Gray Gargoyle tries to throw it at him.

Gray Gargoyle: “Only one Avenger comes to your aid, Wasp? What a pity... for both of you!”

Black Knight: “If this is the best attack you can muster, Gargoyle, you should save your pity for yourself!”

Burn.

Like a smart guy, Gray Gargoyle decides to grab the Ebony Blade and turn it into stone so he can break it just to be a dick.

The Ebony Blade doesn’t like that too much so it turns Gray Gargoyle into not-stone.

It can do that. It’s incredibly enchanted and alarmingly cursed.

Also, I think the inker changed on this page specifically? Because the inking definitely did. The inks feel heavier than on the preceding or succeeding page.

There’s not an inker listed on the creative credits so I don’t know.

Oh, but here’s something!

This Marvel Unlimited version of the book has an extra page at the end, explaining that some of the stoned people in the prison and unstoned Gray Gargoyle were miscolored in the original printing.

It’s apparently been fixed for this version.

Anyway, as happens whenever Gray Gargoyle suddenly unstones, someone pops him in the jaw and knocks him out. When he’s not stone, man cannot take a punch.

At this point, Paladin shows up, having freed himself from that stone desk and I guess run down the road and found the crashed van. He has Screaming Mimi bound and gagged but reports that Rita DeMara Yellowjacket escaped in the confusion.

Which just confuses Black Knight because he has no idea who Paladin is or that there was a new Yellowjacket.

AND THEN, Captain Marvel shows up.

Black Knight asks if she’s alright but Monica is just confused what he’s talking about.

Wasp catches up Black Knight and Captain Marvel with the plot and introduces Paladin to them.

Which frees Black Knight to be quietly jealous.

Simmer down, Dane.

Sure, Wasp is a great person but you’ll be in a love triangle in a couple years. That’s... something?

Several days later, Black Knight and Captain America are discussing the jailbreak.

Gray Gargoyle and Screaming Mimi have refused to give any information on why they broke Rita Yellowjacket out of jail or whether its connected to the other supervillain jailbreaks.

Captain America: “I don’t like this, Dane. Those escapees are dangerous enough individually -- if they should band together, they’d conceivably have power enough to throw the world into chaos. I’m going to check with some of my friends in the intelligence community and see if we can learn any more about this.”

Black Knight: “While you’re at it, Cap, could you maybe run a check on this Paladin -- ?”

Cap: ‘Dane, I’m trying to foreshadow here. Give it a rest on the jealousy.’

But their conversation is interrupted by an emergency transmission from Namor McKenzie.

TURNS OUT that running off on his own because This Is Something He Has To Do Himself... was a bad idea!

He tried to liberate Atlantis single-handedly and got forced off by Attuma’s men.

Namor: “It pains me to admit this, but I cannot best them alone. I must have the help of the Avengers -- or an innocent woman may die!”

I’m glad you can swallow your pride and ask for help.

But I’m still going to mock you for running off half-cocked.

Do you realize that if you had just accepted Black Knight’s offer of help, this whole thing would have been wrapped up already? Idiot.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because Namor is lucky he’s handsome because he’s a bit dumb. Like and reblog if you think his head is looking particularly quadrilateral today.

[sammys-magical-au]

I feel like the iswm fandom is really sleeping on the possibilities for angst and hurt/comfort when you think about the potential trauma that the crew went through in the different paths the wormhole took

(I’ve seen @captain-neutrino talk about this w/ the captain and I really like their interpretation, you should also go read their short comic about it, it’s really good, but I also wanted to talk about the rest of the crew and their specific traumas/experiences, because I think it would differ a lot from character to character)

This is also assuming that the crew remembers what happened enough to still feel the aftershocks, which in my au, they all do, not just Mark and the Captain.

So uh yeah here’s a breakdown of everyone’s trauma ig :3

Mark & the Captain

I’m putting these two together because of the fact that a lot of their trauma would come from similar instances - trying to protect the ship and the colonists, fighting to make it to the warpcore, being put through so many deaths so quickly with no time to recover before being shoved right back to the beginning, etc - and they would probably both develop some form of survivor’s guilt. Sure, nobody actually died in the end, but they did in the paradox, many times, and that responsibility unfortunately fell on the Captain and Mark’s shoulders. However I feel like their reactions to feeling this would differ; the Captain (if we’re talking my version, Captain!Sam) would try to keep a strong face for as long as possible, but slowly withdraw away from the colonists as time went on, and eventually begin lashing out in anger at anyone who tried to ask if they were alright. Mark, on the other hand, would likely wind up too afraid to do anything, especially alone, for fear that he’d mess everything up again, and as a result becomes much more strict and serious about his work and break down over the smallest mistakes. However both Mark and the Captain eventually ended up having different experiences within the paradox - the Captain saw the entire universe almost blink out of existence, and Mark lived and died through thousands upon thousands of years rebuilding the warpcore, both of which are unquestionably horrific experiences in their own ways. I feel like at times this may become a rift in their relationship, as it gets to a point where they begin to see themselves as going through worse things than the other, trying to compare what they went through when in reality both experiences are about equally awful (imho, but I’m sure you’ll all agree).

Celci

Celci’s job on the ship was technically to keep the colonists alive, but in the timeline where she puts the ship in stasis, she goes directly against that. She didn’t necessarily kill everyone, but she froze them all in time, which is pretty close to the same thing. I imagine that Celci comes to think of herself as a murderer or a tyrant, afraid that the colonists or the other crew members working in cryo (more on that later) would resent her or that she’d end up doing the same thing after the paradox is resolved. She feels like a traitor to the colony and to her captain, and that’s a feeling she both thought she’d never experience and cannot bear. I feel like she would also develop a kind of survivor’s guilt similar to that of Mark and the Captain, although in this case it would be a burden of her own making in her eyes, so she becomes standoffish and less firm with her job, letting her second-in-commands in cryo (again, more on them later 👀) do more of the work. Also, there’s one particular crew member who Celci would feel especially distraught over putting into stasis, but I’m reserving that story for its own section.

Gunther

Gunther, I feel, is extremely loyal to the Captain, and they may have even been friends before the Invincible, but he also has a slight hunger for power, which bubbles to the surface when he tries to overthrow the Captain in the mutiny timeline. After the paradox is resolved, I feel like Gunther would be so utterly torn up about this. The Captain had trusted him to defend the ship and the colonists, and he’d stabbed them in the back like a coward. Instead of reacting in anger, Gunther becomes eerily calm, and much less trigger-happy. He doesn’t want to destroy everything anymore, and when the people he cares about most (*cough* Mack and Burt *cough*) are even in the slightest bit of danger, he panics, freezes up - which only ends up making him feel worse because he couldn’t do anything. He falls into a spiral of feeling powerless and worthless, he’s supposed to be a protector, but instead he ended up being the one the colony needed protection from.

Burt

My man stuffed his consciousness inside a computer. Do I need to say any more??? I feel like if that were possible it would be incredibly disorienting, and Burt often finds himself disassociating from reality or wondering if he’s still real. In those instances he gets even quieter than he usually is, staring at his hands or feet or even looking at himself in the mirror, trying to convince himself that he’s really there. I can also see him overloading his senses trying to keep himself grounded in reality, keeping flowers and soft, colorful blankets and foods with strong tastes to shock him back to the present. I also feel like Burt would have the easiest time recovering, because he’s very in-tune with his body’s needs and just does what he has to to overcome negative emotions. Plus he’s a writer, and writing is really good for recovery.

Mack

I did make a post before about Mack’s post-paradox trauma and theorizing about how he took over as head engineer, which you can read here, but in summary Mack snapped and murdered Mark to take his position in hopes that he’d be able to do a better job of fixing the problem, but then realizes that the Captain is also part of the problem, thus the dictator!Mack route. I feel like my poor bb would have a REALLY hard time forgiving himself for what he did to Mark and the Captain, even though they forgive him. Also idk if it was ever said what Mack’s actual position on the crew was but I’m just gonna say he was one of Mark’s second-in-commands and leave it at that.

Tyler

Hey y’know how I said earlier that Celci would be particularly guilty over putting one person in stasis with the rest of the ship? That person is Tyler, because I have a headcanon that Celci and Tyler are siblings. Tyler is the medical lead on the crew, mainly meant to tend to injured crew members on the journey and later the colonists after they get released from cryosleep. He and Celci had a huge argument over putting the ship in stasis, which ends with Celci locking Tyler in the airlock to prevent him from stopping her (see; the timeline where the Captain throws Tyler out of the airlock 👀). The two of them don’t really end up talking about it much until one day Celci gets injured and Tyler is the one who ends up tending to her, and they begrudgingly have a conversation about what happened that likely ends in tears and apologies. They don’t hold it against each other, at the end of the day they’re still siblings and they need to look out for each other.

Lixian

(Not me sneaking my iswm Lix ego in here no- but actually yes-) ok so I’ve officially assigned Lixian to the cryo team and as one of Celci’s second-in-commands. Space!Lixian is a lot like irl Lixian - soft spoken, sweet, anxious, probably also a huge horror fan, and, most importantly, helpful, and a hard worker. (This is where it all goes downhill, please brace yourselves). I also hc that Space Lix has a family who are civilians, thus would’ve been in cryosleep the entire time the paradox was happening. And since Space Lix is part of the cryo team and is so high-ranking, he would’ve been one of the last people to enter cryosleep when Celci put the ship in stasis. Which means. Uh. He had to watch his family get put into permanent cryosleep and couldn’t do anything to stop it. (I’m doing horrible things to this man somebody stop me I feel bad but I also kinda don’t help). Ofc Space Lix ends up haunted by the timeline where he watched his family die, and probably resents Celci at first for what she did.

In short; they are all traumatized and need a hug. Did I make you cry?

[sketchy-scribs-n-doods]

what's better than one (1) captain?

three

me and the besties have decided to share engineer mark, lucky him <3

___________

(shout out to @captain-neutrino for being the sexy bitch at the top in the first pic, i'm the one on the left and our lovely chole is the one on the right, we're the hot nb trio thank u for ur time)