#Can’t say I’ve managed to mold a well thought out explanation for them either

[spellboundmayfield]

So which movies on the Duffers' list are most interesting to you? I've been working my way slowly through the list, and I'm quite intrigued by some of them...

Right off the bat I just had to watch Never Ending Story, it’s the most in-your-face reference in the entire show, I mean a whole musical number was dedicated to it. The Cell (2000) where a psychotherapist whose mind can literally enter the mind of her patients and she must race against time to explore the twisted mind of the killer to get the information she needs was perplexing. The Matrix (1999) was an interesting choice, the scene depicting humans in the pods making it so they virtually integrate with the Matrix reminded me of Dr.Brenner’s sensory deprivation experiments.

Full Metal Jacket had Mathew Modine’s character in Vietnam which certainly makes you think. Terminator: Dark Fate and Terminator: Judgement Day introduces the concept of traveling back to key aspects of the past in attempt to rewrite today and secure the safety of a young person whose fate is critical to the human race. In a cell at Pescadero State Hospital, a detention center for the criminally insane, Sarah Connor is held after blowing up a computer factory and entertaining delusions of a nuclear nightmare which makes me think that Victor Creel might be a key addition to understanding what is happening in Hawkins. Red Dragon (2002) has serial murderer Francis Dolarhyde whose homicidal urges manifest themselves as the “Great Red Dragon’s” demands, alluding a possible connection between the murders speculated to be occurring throughout Hawkins and the Mindflayer. What Dreams May Come (1998) felt a bit out of place but I feel strongly that in some abstract way it relates to Hopper and Sara. Hellraiser: Hell bound has Doctor Channard who is working at an Asylum as he searches for the doorway to a sadistic dimension in the basement of the hospital, definitely sounds a lot like Pennhurst and the potential whereabouts of Dr. Brenner. Oh and of course the Wizard of Oz is notable, not only considering the numerous references in past seasons but the evident references throughout the scarce content we’ve received for season 4. The Prestige (2006), Inception (2010), and The Truman Show (1998) are especially mind bending even on their own but the most baffling films on the list have to be Black Swan (2010) and Enemy (2013) and well… I’ll just leave these screen caps here.

Spoilers for both movies under the cut

[naruto-littlespace]

Akatsuki Littlespace Headcanons

I could and probably will write more, but I don’t feel like it right now, so here’s this.

Disclaimer 1: Littlespace, in the AU and in real life, is a coping mechanism for everything from everyday stressors to psychological disorders like PTSD. If you sexualize littlespace do not interact with this AU or me, I will block you.

Disclaimer 2: Littlespace in this post is slightly different from in real life, magic-ed up in a similar way to how ninjas are magic-ed up in the Naruto universe. Chakra-using littles actually revert to the size they were when they were their little ages, although they retain any bodily changes since then (little Kakuzu still has stitches, little Deidara would have hand mouths.) The exception of course is Sasori, whose body is manmade and doesn’t change. People also do not necessarily remember their big lives when they slip into littlespace, sometimes becoming confused about where they are and who they���re with. They will sometimes be confused about what time period they’re in as well, believing things to have happened that hadn’t happened yet in their little age but were far in the past in their adult age.

This isn’t how I’m going to treat littlespace w/ Naruto characters all the time on this account btw, it’s just an idea I’ve been playing around with, like the psychological defense of reverting to a childlike state inadvertently triggers a transformation jutsu to match.

Nagato:

Little age pre Yahiko’s death was 6-7, post is 2-4

Started regressing shortly after the formation of the original Akatsuki. She and Yahiko had to do research to figure out why their teenage friend had suddenly turned into a child, but after they learned they took care of him: treated him like a child, bought him kids books from the local thrift shop, tucked him into bed. He called them uncle and auntie.

He would stay in littlespace for a surprisingly long amount of time, for 4-6 hours on days between missions.

After Yahiko’s death he spent many days in a row regressed to age two. Konan scrambled to take care of him and handle her own grieving. After that was over he promised her she wouldn’t have to take care of him again.

Nowadays of course she still takes care of him when he regresses, but he tries to force himself out of it if he begins to.

He still has board books and stuffies, so if he does fully regress he’ll have one of his pein bodies bring them to him.

Being ~3 he doesn’t have the mental capacity to control all the Peins, so they just kind of idle for awhile.

Konan:

Little age is 3-5

Pre modern Akatsuki she didn’t like regressing at all and only did it involuntarily. She would handle it by either walking it off or reading Nagato’s board books by herself.

This continued pretty much until she started becoming friends with Kakuzu, who openly admitted he was a little (he thought she should know, in case it ended up delaying his missions--it was mostly so she would stick up for him to Pein. No, he wasn’t hunting bounties, there’s a perfectly logical explanation--)

So she had a bad day while she and Kakuzu were at the same base and went ‘can you please deal with me for a couple of minutes’ and he was like ‘ofc’ so she sat down in front of him and shrank down to a little girl and started crying. He picked her up and bounced her on his knee until she calmed down. She ended up staying little for a couple of hours because Kakuzu took her out of the office and telling her stories about his childhood while they prepared dinner.

Kisame becomes her caretaker too when the three of them start dating.

Sometimes she starts crying inconsolably about something she won’t talk about other than someone leaving her and something being unfair. Pein showed up during this one time and said he knew what she was talking about and it was none of her cgs’ concern which ofc made them concerned but they haven’t gotten the chance to talk to her about it.

Itachi:

Little age is 2-4 but since her chakra is often very low so she doesn’t always physically become that tiny.

She didn’t regress until after she joined the Akatsuki, but when she did Kisame wasn’t surprised. He reintroduced himself as her babysitter, slipped her a lollipop and took her to a library to pick out some kids books.

Loves to be pampered. Oh god it’s the only time she can relax at all

Wears reading glasses because they can’t get her in to an eye doctor appointment

She’s trans in this au because I say so

Likes playing with weasel and crow toys, esp when her caretaker (usually Kisame, Konan and Kakuzu as well when they’re around) plays the weasel and she’s the crow. She’ll tell stories where they go out to the woods to train or just hang out.

She loves to sit in laps <3

She eats a lot more in littlespace than out so whoever’s feeding her makes lots of food. For her to grow big and strong u know

Kisame:

Little age 0. He is just baby

Being reminded of the bloody mist triggers his littlespace, though he has to be in a bad headspace in the first place. It really does not happen often.

Post Akatsuki the first time he slipped was after he, Kakuzu and Konan started dating. Kakuzu woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of crying and woke Konan up immediately afterwards because holy sh*t there’s a baby in our bed!!

It was Kisame. Kakuzu picked him up and rocked him back to sleep. Konan asked how he was so good with kids and he was like ‘oh I had a baby once.’ She does not ask him to elaborate. Kisame wakes up as an adult the next morning.

They keep a container of powder formula for him if he regresses but won’t get him a pacifier because they’re afraid he’d bite off and choke on the teat. They have bottles but Kakuzu makes the nipples for them out of one of his threads on the spot bc he’d bite through literally everything else with his tiny demon teeth.

Sasori:

Little age is unclear (unlike some of the others, he’s never said it.)

Signs he’s in littlespace: stops talking, stops walking if he can afford it, walks unsteadily and a little bowlegged if he can’t. Stops using ninjutsu and if he’s near a kitchen he might try to eat despite not having a digestive system anymore. Has been known to ask where Granny Chiyo is. The answer is ‘back home.’

Deidara got him a pacifier and a coloring book. He does use them but not when anyone else is watching, not even Deidara.

He is a bit upset when he’s reminded that his body is wooden. He would like to feel things please. But he learns to just enjoy the sensation of squishing a stuffie and his jaw chewing on a paci.

Deidara:

Not actually a little. He just hasn’t gone through sh*t like the rest of the Akatsuki have, and has coping mechanisms for when he is having a bad time.

He caretakes for Konan when her boys aren’t around and for Sasori if he’ll let him.

Hidan told him about littles after Kakuzu regressed in front of him and thought Deidara might need to know because of how much baggage Sasori has (he doesn’t know what it is but he can smell drama)

So he looked out for Sasori becoming a kid and learned instead to look for him not acting like an adult. He walked out of Hiruko and tried to eat in front of him and Deidara had to tell him he couldn’t have a strawberry because it was bad for his health and not because it would probably make his insides mold. It’s weird but Deidara is also weird and he makes it work.

Kakuzu:

Little age is 9-10

Post Akatsuki the first time he regressed was in front of Hidan in the middle of the woods. He didn’t recognize him and immediately tried to run and then beat him up when he chased him. Hidan had to think fast and tell him he was his new neighbor and pretend to be taking him home. The next time he was babysitting.

Sometimes asks where his husband is. The first time Hidan heard this his response was ‘what the f*ck’ and Kakuzu told him that was a bad word.

Enjoyed activities include reading, sparring, and to the surprise of some, hunting. He’s not bad w/ a bow and arrow.

The best way to keep him in/make him feel comfy in littlespace is to make him a meal. U can let him help to the extent that he sets the table or pours the drinks or smth (because he will ask) but take care of the food for him, because he hasn’t had someone else handle that for him in a long time.

Regressing isn’t necessarily a common thing for him to do but he’s one of the only ones whose regression can be triggered by physical pain as well as emotional. He can usually harden his skin to block attacks but if he doesn’t in time he may turn into a ten year old. It actually can surprise an opponent enough for Hidan to be able to take them out.

Hidan:

Not a little either.

Knew about littles bc there was an old man in his village who had ptsd from some long forgotten war and sometimes turned into a six year old.

Caretakes for Kakuzu pretty exclusively, unless Kakuzu is big and taking care of someone else, in which case he’ll help out if he’s feeling nice at the time. Itachi is actually his favorite to take care of because Itachi is a very manageable child.

Obito:

Little age varies wildly from about 1-11. He blocks his physical regression because he regresses Often and doesn’t want to blow his Madara cover.

He has been regressing since p much immediately after he got crushed. Madara was really having none of it and went from patiently waiting for him to become ‘big’ again to pretending it wasn’t happening, forcing Obito back into a uh. ‘’Normal’’’’ headspace

The Tobi act is actually covering his littlespace though when he’s an adult he has no idea how to realistically act like a kid so when he’s actually a kid it’s kind of jarring for all involved

When he’s a baby he just screams. Not really crying in distress but screaming because he can

He’s so eager for attention. Please talk to him! Play toys with him!!! Read a book, eat dango, run around outside, catch bugs, train!!!

Never mentions Kakashi or Rin but sometimes will mention his grandma or Lord Fourth as if he is the current Hokage

[rosemaidenvixen]

A Secret’s Worth

Chapter 10: Mary

Ao3

The concrete bench of the table Mary was sitting at was profoundly uncomfortable. It had never been the most luxurious place to have lunch, but today the molded concrete seemed extra hard and gritty. And based off the looks on Claire and Darci’s faces, they felt the exact same way. 

But the seating arrangements were the least of their worries right now. Mary kept her gaze fixed squarely on the side door of the school building in the distance. Waiting for Jim and Toby to come outside and approach.

The three of them had spent weeks planning to time this perfectly down to the last second. Beginning of lunch period, and their next class was literally two minutes away. Outdoor table on the far side of the school property; no crowds, limited traffic. Wednesday on their first week back, well enough into the week that all new projects and assignments had been given out, but not soon enough for anything to be due. 

Plenty of time to sit and talk, no rushing to finish or get to their next class. And their table was far enough out of the way that no one would be near enough to overhear or interrupt. 

They’d briefly tossed around the idea of trying to talk to Jim at one of their houses, but in the end decided against it. It might make Jim feel cornered and that was the last thing they wanted.

With all the thought they’d put into this there was no way it wouldn’t go perfectly.

But that didn’t stop Mary from being so anxious she wanted to puke. 

She had never done anything like this before. Hell, she’d never thought she’d have to. But here she was.

Her breath hitched when Mary saw Jim and Toby step out of the door and start to walk up to their table from the far side of the field. A wave of nausea washed over her, although she did her best not to show it.

Mary swallowed hard and forced her stomach to settle. Keep it together, this wasn't about her. It was about Jim, she owed it to him to do this. And besides, she wasn't alone. 

In her peripheral vision Mary could see Claire sitting straight up hands folded in her lap, taut as a wire; Darci gripping the concrete bench beneath her with fingers like claws.

Without raising her arms more than an inch, Mary reached out and covered each of her friends’ hands with one of her own.

They were going to get through this; all of them. By the end of today the hardest part would be over and Jim would be safe. They just had to rip the band aid off and get things going.

Jim and Toby took their seats at the table, smiling and relaxed like it was just another regular day of lunch.   

If only.

“Hey guys, how’s it going?” Toby said cheerfully.

None of them said anything, his sunny attitude seemed painfully out of place. 

Toby instantly picked up on the mood “Is something wrong, why the long faces?”

In her peripheral vision Mary could see Dacri and Claire stiffen on either side of her. 

This was it. Time to find out once and for all whether or not Jim’s mom was doing what they thought she was.

She pulled in a deep breath through her nose. From the beginning Mary knew she was going to have to be the one to take point on this. Claire still had her huge crush on Jim, not that there was anything wrong with that, but it might hold her back from pushing too hard if Jim needed an extra shove. And quite frankly Darci was just too nice. The possibility of bringing Toby in on their plan had come up, but had gotten shot down almost immediately. There hadn’t been a good way to meet up with him alone over break, and trying to tell him over the phone was way too dicey.

Bottom line, they could not risk Dr. Lake getting tipped off.

Which meant it all fell down to Mary to take charge. Was she looking forward to it? Hell no. But there was a chance Jim could be in serious trouble. And there was no fucking way Mary was going to let that go on. 

Not if she could do something about it.

“Actually…” Mary spoke up slowly and deliberately “There’s something we need to talk about,” 

The second the words left her mouth Toby froze and Jim went rigid, after a few beats of awkward silence he gave her a painful looking smile.

“Is this about my curfew again? I’ve told you guys I just--”

“We know your mom locks you in the basement,” 

And there it was, out in the open.

Even though Mary had seen the scratches on the door with her own two eyes. Looked at the pictures of them on her phone over a thousand times, to the point where she thought she was going insane; there had been a part of her that doubted. That whispered there was probably a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything that she was just too dumb to think of. And accusing his mom of the worst would be crossing an unforgivable line; pissing Jim off beyond belief and completely humiliating herself, along with Darci and Claire, in the process. 

But one look at his face and every doubt she had vanished.

The way his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open, the juice box slipping from his hand and landing on his tray with a clunk. How she could practically see the his face get paler by the second. 

It was true. Every bit of it. Jim’s mom was locking him up and he’d been keeping it secret from everyone this whole time.

“How-- how did--”

“We saw the scratches on the basement door when we were over on new years,” Mary said, softer now “Don’t worry, we believe you,”

“Oh my god,” Claire whispered “The night after the movies...I’m so sorry Jim, I never would have suggested we stay late if I knew your mom would...”

Toby stared back and forth between Jim and Claire, looking completely lost “I don’t...what are you guys-- what are you guys talking about?”

Mary ignored him. Toby could be brought up to speed later. Now that they knew for sure what  Jim’s mom was doing, they needed to take the next step “Ok Jim, you need to talk to the police, like yesterday,”

He blinked at her “What?”

“It will be ok, after school we’ll all go with you to the police station. And even if the cops don’t believe you I have pictures of the scratch marks on the door on my phone. That should be enough to convince them,”

Instead of reassuring him, Jim looked horrified by this idea “No! We can’t do that!”

Darci got up and walked around the table to take a seat a Jim’s side “Jim, you’re scared, I get it, but we have your back, you don’t have to be afraid of your mom anymore,”

“That’s not-- that isn’t--” Jim laid his head in his hands and let out a deep, shuddering breath “It’s not what you guys think...”

“Jim, what-- what are you saying?” Toby’s voice shook with steadily rising panic “What’s going on?”

Jim whipped his head over towards Toby, expression agonized “Tobes-- I, I...”

Claire raised both hands up “Ok let’s just all just take a deep breath calm down,” she looked over towards Jim “Darci’s right, we’re in this together, and we’re not going to let your mom hurt you. But you have to tell people what’s happening,”

Rather than reassure him their words seemed to have the opposite effect. Jim was hunched over with his arms wrapped around himself, shaking more and more with every breath he took.

A frown started tugging on Mary’s lips as uncertainty crept in. Even if they went with Jim to the police station, would he even be able to bring himself to tell the truth? If she had scared him so bad that he was too afraid to talk about it even when it was just the five of them….

No. She wasn’t going to let that happen.

Steeling  herself, Mary reached into her pocket to pull out her phone. If Jim wasn’t strong enough to do this by himself  right now then Mary would do it for him.

How could she call herself his friend if she didn’t.

“Ok new plan. You don’t worry about anything, I’ll call the police tell them everything,” she looked up and gave him her most confident smile, the one that said ‘Don't worry I’ve got this’ “And if push comes to shove I’ll convince my moms to let you sleep on our couch,”

Mary had just pulled up the website for the Arcadia Oaks police department when her phone was nearly ripped from her hands.

She jerked backwards on reflex and was stunned to see Jim hanging halfway over the table “Jim! What the hell!?”

“You can’t call the cops on my mom!”

“Um, I have vocal chords and a working phone, I’m pretty sure I can,”

“You’re going to get her in trouble!”

Daric put a hand on his shoulder, expression wavering between sympathy and confusion “Jim, if your mom locks you in the basement then she should be in trouble,”

“It’s-- It’s not like that!”

“Then what is it like?” Toby’s voice was steadier now but his smile was brittle “Just-- tell us what really happened, I’m sure this is just a big misunderstanding,”

Jim whipped around, looking at all of them in turn, jaw working up and down with words he couldn’t manage to say.

This was starting to go off the rails, time for Mary to get things back on track, she laid her phone face down on the table, so Jim knew he had her full attention “I don’t know what your mom said she’d do if you told anyone, but whatever it is we won’t let it happen, you don’t have to pretend anymore,”

Before Jim could even open his mouth to get a word out, Darci spoke up “Mare’s right, no matter what your mom said she’d do if you told, we can protect you,”

He just stared at her like she just told him the world was ending. 

Jim grabbed the edge of the table, painful looking with the strength he was gripping the concrete with, his breath came in increasingly large, quivering, gusts. It looked like he was an inch away from either crying or screaming “Guys-- stop it, please,”

Toby reached out and rubbed Jim’s unoccupied shoulder comfortingly, a pained look on his face. Mary shared an uncertain glance with Darci and Claire. They knew things might get tense but this was bad. They needed to convince him that they wouldn’t let his mom retaliate. The police would stop her, if push came to shove they would stop her.

But if they wanted to stop her for good Jim had to talk.

Trying one more time, Claire sat up straighter and leaned forward “I know this is hard Jim. But your mom doing this to you...that isn’t right. You need to talk to the cops, or a teacher, or someone so they can help you,”

“I don’t-- it’s not--” Jim flicked his gaze from side to side before lowering his head and speaking in a hoarse whisper “Mom hasn’t locked me down there since I was seven, ok?”

You could have heard a pin drop as all of them stared at him in horrified silence.

“She...she what?” Toby whispered. 

Jim’s eyes widened and he clapped a hand over his mouth, as if just now realizing what he said.

Mary knew her jaw was hanging open but she couldn’t figure out how to shut it. Her brain had short circuited and now none of her body parts would work right.

They’d known from the scratches that Jim had been locked in the basement when he was younger, but to know that he’d been that little….

Two wires clicked in her brain.

A chill flickered to life in her chest, slowly starting to creep across the rest of her body as the horrifying thought took root.

If Jim had been that young when his mom had stopped locking him in the basement…. 

That he must have been even younger when she started.

The edges of her vision got blurry as her head started to swim. How old had he been? Five...four….three? Mary’s stomach curdled as she imagined Jim as a little little kid locked down in that cold, dark basement. 

Meanwhile Jim was trying to stammer out an explanation “N-- no I, I didn’t mean-- you guys have to understand, I was a messed up kid, Mom only put me down there because she had to!”

Mary ignored his babbling and pulled her phone back up with shaking hands “I’m calling the police now,” she barely managed to keep her voice firm “I don’t care what kind of a kid you were. If your mom has been locking you in the basement for that long then she should be in jail. Plain and simple,”

Jim looked at her like she’d slapped him “Look, I can’t tell you why, but she doesn’t deserve to go to jail, please you have to believe me!”

Mary glanced over at him; wincing at his terrified, pleading expression. This was hard, and she felt for him, she really did, But the only way out was forward, and no matter how tough this was going to be for him they needed to push through.

One day Jim would thank her.

“I know you’re scared Jim, but I promise once we tell the right people this is all going to get better,” she softened her voice “Your mom isn’t going to lock you up ever again,”

She had already dialed half of the non-emergency number for the Arcadia Oaks PD when she heard Jim speak up.

“No...what...what I said was wrong,” 

Mary paused in her typing and glanced up from the screen, everyone but Jim wore matching looks of surprise “Wait, you mean your mom didn’t stop locking you in the basement when you were seven?”

Jim’s features wavered before hardening into a cold mask “No, I mean my mom didn’t lock me in the basement at all,”

All Mary could do was blink.

What?

“Jim,” Darci turned towards him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion “You literally just said that she did,”

“No.” his voice grew steely “I didn’t,”

He shook off their hands and grabbed his tray, standing up from the table “My mom never locked me in the basement and that’s what I’ll say to the cops or anyone else who asks, now I need to go and get started my spanish paper,”

Seeing Jim turn to walk away, from them, from everything they were trying to do to help him, red hot fire exploded in Mary’s chest “No you don’t,” she growled with a force that surprised her, pushing herself out of her seat “The paper isn’t due until next Friday and I know you planned on working on it during free period on Thursday and Tuesday. So. Don’t. Lie. To. Me.”

All of them recoiled from the venom in her voice as she practically spat the words out, even Jim staggered before quickly composing himself “Look, it doesn’t matter, my mom never locked me in the basement and that’s that, and whatever scratches you think you saw, those were probably just made by racoons,”

Thinking quick, Mary grabbed her phone and waved it in front of him “Well I’m pretty sure the recording I just made would disagree,”

It was a complete and total bluff. She hadn’t actually recorded anything, but Jim didn’t need to know that.

Jim’s face went from stony to stricken as he lunged forward, making a grab at her phone. Mary danced out of reach and clutched it tighter to her chest.

“G-- g-- give me that,” 

Claire got to her feet and stood by Mary’s side, stand off forming “Jim, your mom locked you up, we all know it so why are you trying to protect her? You don’t have to be afraid of her anymore, we can keep you safe,”

Jim looked longingly at the phone nestled snugly in Mary’s hands “You guys don’t get it, I’m not afraid of my mom, I can’t let you get her into trouble,”

Darci came up beside him “Ok, when an adult locks a little kid in a basement that’s wrong, you know that right?”

“I-- I-- I was a screwed up kid, she had no choice,”

“No you weren’t Jim,” Toby said, slowly getting to his feet to flank him “You really weren’t,”

“And it really doesn’t matter what kind of kid you were,” Darci said with increased exasperation “You know what your mom’s doing is wrong, so why are you trying to defend her?”

Jim slammed his tray on the ground “You don’t understand!”

“Then tell us!” Mary shrieked so loud that Señor Ulh, all the way over on the front walkway, turned and stared “Make us understand! Just stop lying and let us help you!”

Mary knew she shouldn’t be screaming; they’d come here to help Jim, not harass him, but she couldn’t help it. Dr. Lake shoved him in the basement and put a lock on the door. And he was lying about it to protect her. The person who was hurting him.

Taking advantage of the lull of silence, Claire darted around the table towards Jim “Listen, no matter what your mom said or did we’re your friends and we’ll always have your back, but we can’t help you if you don’t tell the truth,”

Jim frantically looked around, cagey and desperate, without even meaning to they’d surrounded him on all sides. 

“Please…” Claire reached out and put a hand on Jim’s shoulder “Just let us help you,”

Now they all looked at him expectantly. Jim shriveled under their gazes, curling in on himself and gripping his upper arms with what must have been bruising force.

Mary stayed where she was, head held high and feet firmly planted on the ground, eyes locked on Jim. Bracing herself for the coming storm of tears, accusations, or whatever else Jim was going to explode with.

Suddenly he bolted, turning and sprinting away from them back towards the school. The four of them were stunned into silence for a split second before Toby and Claire started after him, Mary and Darci rooted in place with shock.

“Jim stop-- wait! Come back!”

“Please Jim, we’re only trying to help!”

If Jim heard them he ignored them, not slowing down as he ran up to the door and ripped it open with surprising force.

Even from this far away Mary could see crystal clear as the door slammed shut right in Toby’s face.

[hawkbucks]

16. the one where anything written on your skin appears on your soulmate's skin as well. I just imagine MIT tony falling asleep and rhodey drawing a dick on his face which also appears on Bucky aka the winter soldier one of the most deadly Assassins

This really got away from me. Somewhat angsty? Idk hgjfkdls I go from talking about a dick on Bucky’s face to… well, a certain date. It sorta ends happy.

The Asset stares blankly at the concrete wall in front of him, shoulders stiff and knuckles turning white as he grips the edge of the steel slab they have the audacity to call a bed. He breathes in and out, in and out, long, deep lungfuls of air. The taste of ice still lingers on his tongue, and there’s a chill in his bones that aches.

His Handler circles around him, hands clasped behind their back as they relay the details of his mission. “Do you understand?” they ask, snappish, barely glancing at him out of the corners of their eyes. He isn’t important enough for direct eye contact; he’s learned that a long time ago.

Before he can respond, his Handler does a double-take, looking at him with widening eyes. “What,” they start, “in the fuck is that.”

He makes no noise as they hoist him up and drag him in front of a stained mirror, their clipped fingernails digging into the flesh of his right bicep. Right in the middle of his forehead is a rather… phallic looking symbol drawn in black marker. Still dazed, he looks confusedly at his Handler, unsure if this is some sort of test.

An irritated growl rips itself from his Handler’s throat before he finds himself being shoved back into his cryostasis chamber. Before he slips back into the darkness, he picks up bits and pieces of harshly spoken Russian. Something to do with a “soulmate”? Whatever it is, he’s sure that he won’t be woken up again until that problem is solved.

Thankfully, the next time he’s up to bat, there are no phallic symbols drawn anywhere on his body. In fact, nothing appears on his skin the entire time his Handler gives him information on another mission. He’s noticed, though, that the once-clean concrete wall is now stained with mottled red, greens, and blacks. The light in the back right of the room–which flickered the last time he was here–now seems to have been ripped out, if the copper wires dangling from its previously occupied hole in the ceiling is any indication.

He can’t help but to wonder if they remember what happened last time. Or maybe they do, and they’re just desperate. It’s not like he’s going to ask; that’s a quick way for him to get disciplined for speaking out of turn.  

A manila folder is pressed into his hands. He understands what he has to do.

He sits on a rather uncomfortable plastic chair behind the counter in a convenience store. The actual cashier is conked out in the backroom, their name tag currently decorating the front of his shirt. A cheesy pop song blares from the radio sitting on a black table behind him, of which the audio quality is not the greatest.

There’s really nothing to be done as he waits for his target to come in, besides reading a battered pile of magazines sitting in a cardboard box by his feet. The top one doesn’t even seem socially acceptable to be read in public. He absentmindedly drums his fingers on the surface of the counter along with the beat of the song, reading the far away labels of Doritos bags and Red Bull cans. Out of all the places for his target to frequent…

As he studies a mole on the heel of his palm, blocky–yet elegant–writing starts to form across its surface.

Call Jan – need help for lab tmrw

His brows knit together, and he clenches and unclenches his fist, watching as the words roll and crinkle on his skin. If he sees what they write on their skin, could they see what he writes on his? Curiosity bubbles up in him like a volcano waiting to explode.

Biting his bottom lip, he reaches for a ballpoint pen sitting on the edge of the counter. He presses the cool tip against his wrist and writes. Hello. His letters are lopsided and decidedly ugly compared to the other’s, but at least it’s legible. He hopes.

Holy shit, is hastily scribbled below his greeting. All these years, and now you answer?

Yes. Sorry.

You should be! I’ve been sending you messages ever since I knew what a soulmate was, but you never wrote back! I just assumed I didn’t have one.

Something like guilt stirs at the bottom of his stomach, but his attention is drawn to that word: Soulmate?

For the next few minutes, no new words appear. He’s on the verge of giving up and scrubbing away the pen ink on his wrist before he gets a reply. You aren’t joking.

Why would I be?

I don’t know. To screw with me or something? Have you been living under a rock?

Kinda. That’s close enough to the truth.

Yeah, you must have been if you haven’t replied to my messages for the past 9 years. What’s your name?

He frowns. It changes. One day he’s Nicholai and the other he’s David. He’s been called Matthieu and he’s been called Sebastian. He doesn’t have a true, solid name. Then, one pops in his head. One that feels vaguely familiar, comforting in a way that he can’t put a finger on. James.

Cool. My best friend is named James, too. My name is Anthony, but you can call me Tony.

Hello, Tony.

Hi, James! A small smiley face appears next to the exclamation point.

The bell above the door rings, bringing him back to reality. He snaps his head up, recognizing his target’s face from the dossier. I have to go now, Tony, but I’ll talk to you soon.

He doesn’t get to see Tony’s reply before he throws the pen with devastating accuracy.

By the time he was finished dispatching his target, Tony’s messages have all disappeared. He feels a twinge of disappointment in his chest when he realizes that he never got to see what Tony said after he bid him farewell, and only God knows how long it’ll be before he’s taken back out.

He scrubs any and all traces of the ink off of his arm, not wanting his Handler to demand an explanation should they see even a faint mark. If he were to mention this soulmate of his… well, he has no doubt that what they would put him through would make him wish he never even picked up that pen.

Throwing the pen into the cardboard box from earlier, he makes his way out of the store with no more than a passing glance at the now bloodied floor.

The walls are stainless steel now, not concrete, and the lights are all a harsh white that wash the room in its fluorescence. His Handler is different–younger and crueler in the way the corners of their mouth turn up.

Instead of a folder, he’s handed some black device, molded perfectly to fit in his ear. They motion at him to put it on. With shaky hands, he does.

A voice booms in his ear, much too loud for how sensitive his senses are, but he manages to keep his face schooled. He grits his teeth, jaw clenching. His Handler looks him straight in the eye. “You keep this on you at all times, do you understand?” He realizes right then that it’s their voice that he’s hearing.

He nods stiffly, glaring up at them.  

They grin, looking almost wolf-like. “Good.”

He stops by a convenience store like the one before to buy himself a couple of granola bars and energy drinks. If this mission is going to go the way he thinks it’s going to go, he’s going to be camping at that place for a while, and what his Handler packed for him can barely be considered food.

His Handler also doesn’t seem to keep that close of an eye on their wallet.

“I know you took some money,” they say, although they don’t sound that annoyed.

He rolls his eyes, picking up a small bag of chips. He can’t exactly reply, not without a microphone. As he walks to the checkout, a pack of pens catches his eye.

Without hesitation, adds it to his basket.

Hello, Tony, he writes over his pulsepoint, sitting in a tree next to a craggly, old street. Underneath him lies a motorcycle, covered up by the bushes. The night sky above him is a gradient of hazy blues and blacks, with the only light being provided by the flashlight he has pinned to the front of his vest.

Asshole, is all he gets back. You and I have a very different definition of “soon.”

I’m sorry.

It’s been 2 years, James. He sucks in a breath. 2 years? He’s sure that he’s been out for longer than that before, but when put it in the perspective of someone who doesn’t know who he is… Where have you been?

My job is very demanding. It’s not a lie, but it’s not the truth either.  

What are you? The President of some foreign country?

No.

A spy? An assassin? A soldier?

I can’t tell you.

Great, that means you’re some sort of super secret government spy. Don’t worry, I won’t tell. Can you at least tell me how old you are? I didn’t get to ask you that last time.

Using the bottom of the pen, he scratches at his temple. His age? Like his name, it fluctuates, but he settles on a number that feels right. 26.

Oh. You’re only 5 years older than me. Thank god, I thought you were like… 45.

5 years. So, Tony’s 21? I’m not.

Yeah, I know that now… so, how are you?

I’m bored. Waiting.

For what?

It’s for my job.

…Okay. I’m kind of waiting, too.

For what?

My parents. They’re out somewhere, and I wanted to surprise them.

We can talk. It’ll be less boring.

Tony draws another smiley face. Okay!

From their chat, he learns that Tony is wicked smart. He attended M.I.T, made a functioning robot, and obtained 2 master’s degrees before he was even able to drink. His best friend is in the Air Force, and he has this butler he loves like a father. He likes shrimp carbonara and refuses to touch green beans unless they’re shoved down his throat. Tony, he concludes, is utterly fascinating, and he makes that clear in all the sentences he writes back.

What about you? Tony writes after going on a paragraph-long rant about some movie series called Star Wars. (They both had to wait for some messages to disappear lest they start taking off their pants for more writing space.)

What do you mean?

Do you like Star Wars?

I’ve never watched it.

Tony’s next response takes up a good chunk of his arm: BLASPHEMY!

Can you give me your number? We need to arrange a meetup, and it gets exhausting to write.

His hand freezes. Number? I don’t have one.

A few seconds pass. Then: You can’t be serious, James.

I’m being serious.

Yeah. You’re the same guy who didn’t know what a soulmate was. I believe you.

Thank you.

You know what you can do? I’ll give you an address. You in New York?

Yes.

Good. What’s your last name?

God, he really wishes Tony would stop asking these kinds of questions. He settles on the first one that pops in his head. Barnes.

Okay. Go here–an address is scribbled across the crook of his elbow–say your name is James Barnes, and ask for Tony.

Tony what?

Tony Stark.

He drops his pen. Stark. There’s no way. Except that his Handler gave him all of the information on his target, including the fact that they have a son named Anthony, but he preferred to be called Tony. Anthony’s birth date matches up with his Tony’s age. Anthony went to M.I.T, too. Anthony reported having made contact with his soulmate 2 years ago, having previously thought he had none.

In the distance, he hears the purring of a car’s engine.

He switches off his flashlight and jumps down.

James, are you there? appears on his right palm as he smashes Howard Stark’s face in. You didn’t even say bye. Kinda rude.

He finds himself scrubbing away all evidence of conversation on his arm again, this time using boiling hot water and going until his skin is pink and raw.

Back in the base, his Handler grabs at his forearm, gripping him so tightly that the skin around their hand turns a pale white. “We know you’ve been writing to someone,” they whisper, low and dangerous. “Stop. Now.”

He nods.

My parents are dead, is scribbled over the middle of his right forearm. The glass in front of him fogs up with ice. If you’re there, I really need to talk to someone right now.

James?

Where are you?

I thought we were going to watch Star Wars together. I’ve asked, and no one’s said that you’ve visited, and I told everyone that you pretty much get priority. There are only two James Barnes that I know of: you and Captain America’s old war buddy. Were you named after him?

I liked talking to you. You can’t just pull another 2 years on me. First time I didn’t mind that much, because we didn’t really know each other, and I didn’t want to seem clingy, but I really like you, James.

It gets hard to ignore. There’s a tugging sensation in his gut every time he allows one of Tony’s messages to go unanswered. He manages to shake off the tail he has on his next mission. They must’ve assigned a more inexperienced person. Who knew they were accepting amateurs these days?

He swipes a pen from an office supply store. Hello, Tony.

You. It’s amazing how such a short word can hold so much bitterness.

I’m sorry.

What the fuck is up with you?

Has it been that long? Sure, the world seems far more technologically advanced than it did when he talked to Tony a 2nd time, but he figures it can’t be more than 8, 10 years.

It’s been 30 fucking years, James. Oh.

…I’m really sorry.

Don’t be. But he feels like he should be. Listen, I can’t write that much right now. I’m on my way to Afghanistan for a demonstration. We can try again later. Bye.

Bye. I’m sorry, again.

Sure.

TONY STARK: MISSING?

Three months later, and, for some reason, he’s still out in the field. Something his Handler–another new one–said about another target having cropped up during the tail end of his original mission.

Don’t tell me you haven’t seen the news.

Quickly, he dips into a store along the street and asks to use their bathroom. He fishes the very same pen he took from the supply store out of his jacket pocket. I have. Are you okay?

I’ve been better.

As long as–he’s cut off by Tony’s writing overlapping his own. Where are you?

In a bathroom, which is inside a store.

Smartass. Where’s the store? Give me the address.

Why?

I’m coming to see you. Right now.

What if I’m on the other side of the country?

I have a private jet… of sorts.

But by the time you arrive, I won’t be in that store anymore.

Just give me the goddamn address.

So he does. Meet me inside.

As he rifles through a rack of leather jackets that cost an obscene amount of money, he feels a tap on his shoulder.

He whirls around quickly, eyes flaring, before he comes face to face with the most expensive-looking man he’s ever seen. They don’t seem the type to be working with his, er, employers, and with that sling around their arm, he doubts they could do much damage to him. So, he relaxes. Just a little.

“Are you James?” they ask. “Please be James. I’ve asked at least 4 other guys already and they’ve all looked at me weird.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“It’s me. Tony.”

WOO, I ACTUALLY MADE THEM MEET AT THE END. I was actually going to end it right after Tony leaves for Afghanistan, but I decided to let them meet ‘cause y’all deserve that after the last fill.

Tony still doesn’t know James killed his parents. He doesn’t know James is the Winter Soldier. But I had to stop or else this really would’ve… turned into its own monster.

Thank you for reading!

[ghost-chance]

Fanfiction Recommendation: “Fat. Beautiful. Tasty. Ravenous” by MoofyKitten

Title: Fat. Beautiful. Tasty. Ravenous Author: MoofyKitten on AO3/FFN/Wattpad Fandom: BNHA/My Hero Academia Rating: M/MA for a reason. (Detailed sex in over half the posted chapters. Perv away only if you’re of age!) Pairing(s): Fat Gum [Toyomitsu Taishirou] / OFC Found on: AO3

Deets Expect some light spoilers and a mini-rant.

I am an unrepentant fanfiction addict; this is no secret. There are fics I read to wind down after a rough day, fics I read to put myself to sleep in hopes of pleasant dreams, and fics I read to tear my hear into teeny tiny fragments then build it back again better than before. THEN there are fics that don’t fit the mold – the kind that I become so invested in that I physically cannot put off reading that update. THIS, my lovelies, is one of THOSE fics, and it’s earned that place from the early chapters. This story has almost everything I need from a fanfiction, and I have a feeling the rest is just around the corner.

Let’s get the basics out of the way.

The Spelling, grammar, and punctuation are all excellent – I have yet to notice a single error, so either the author and her betas are a force to be reckoned with or I’m just getting so sucked into the story an elephant could sit on me and I’d never notice. The formatting is effective and easy to follow, and the chapters have all been of a nice meaty length, perfect for plowing through in a single sitting only to realize you missed a meal and it’s time for bed and your brain is hopelessly lost in ship-land daydreaming about what’s up next. ...wait, that’s just me? My bad.

Syntax – This one requires an entire section of its own. The fact that I’m having to actually think about how well the author’s varying their syntax says they’re effing nailing it. If a story’s syntax is at all static or the sentence even the slightest bit predictable, it’s easy enough for me to recall it because I’m mentally rearranging the bits that irk or don’t impress me as I read. I can’t even get through a bleepin’ news article or an online recipe without itching to push what I’m reading up to the standards my professors held. It sounds harsh, I know, but please take  my word for it when I say I’m not criticizing anyone. Suffice it to say, if my classes did anything, they made editing so instinctive I can’t turn it off. Confession: I have never found myself rearranging a single phrase in this masterpiece. Arguing with the characters? Encouraging the characters? Begging, pleading, and berating the characters for breaking my heart time and time again by stopping just short of the sugary fluff I can just smell right around the corner? Oh, Hell yes. I’ve done all of that and more, but I’ve never found myself with the urge to grab my red pen and strike out or scooch even a single word.

Something that strikes me about this story above others I’ve given the same rating (Spoiler: there are VERY FEW!) is the sheer variety of the scenes and environments. Sounds silly? Probably, but romances often develop a certain amount of location stagnation, and I know from personal experience how difficult it can be to bust through those patterns. (I mean, the majority of “A New Lease on Life” takes place in the Lair in some room, most commonly a bedroom, the lab, or the kitchen.) This story takes the couple off of familiar and ‘safe’ turf like homes and offices and drags them through countless other places without regard for their sense of comfort. Each scene feels real and multi-dimensional and directly or indirectly influences the characters’ behavior and reactions. It’s awesome. That’s a sign the author has done her people-watching!

Now, about that OC. I’ll readily admit, in the first chapter, I had my reservations. At first glance she seemed shallow, obsessed with appearances and her own view of the world, and – strange as it may sound – too skinny and too attractive. Yes, there’s some personal bias involved there, but the majority was practical rather than emotional. BUT! Because the writer of this story is the same who unleashed the beautiful Kacchako torment Hot-Headed upon me without a single breath of remorse, I gave Aiko a chance. Sure enough, my first impressions were entirely incorrect. The things that bothered me about Aiko? They all had explanation or purpose, and she’s turned out to be a pretty well-fleshed out character...pun intended. As the story progresses we’re seeing sides of her that I hoped for but didn’t expect and each chapter leaves me wondering what we’ll learn next.

Romantic connection. First word: “OOFTA.” The second word, I’d spell out, but it’s a shrill, wordless, begging whine that I cannot translate into English for the life of me. This pairing starts without any sort of romantic connection; it skips straight to the shenanigans and leaves hope that the snugglebunnies will follow eventually. Friends…if you’ve read any of my writing before, you’ll know that I. LIVE. For. The. FLUFF. The awkward mush, the sweaty palms, the am-I-gonna-barf-or-do-I-have-a-crush, the absolutely tooth-rotting sweetness capable of sending a reader headlong into diabetes with a dopey grin and heart eyes - they’re my crack and I love them. This story started with no fluff but it’s been slowly developing in the background. It’s an entirely new situation for me! I feel like I’ve gotten used to eating my dessert first then digging into an equally sweet dinner without a moment to cleanse my palate. This story? It’s like gorging on smoky, meaty St. Louie barbecue for weeks on end with literally just a smear of something sweet as an afterthought. Mind. Frackin’. BLOWN. It turns out I’m more masochistic as a reader than I ever suspected.

Another relationship I want to cover is the building friendship between Aiko and Fat Gum – because nope, she has not managed to mentally connect the half-starved Taishiro she’s climbing like a tree with the big-and-beautiful Fat Gum who owns the agency. Yep. She thinks she’s boning Fat’s beefy little brother. It’d be funny if my heart wasn’t whining for fluff. While frustrating to fluff-starved readers, Aiko not knowing the beefcake and the brother are one and the same provides an intriguing and natural way for her to build an actual relationship with him. This means none of the fetishistic bullarkey rampant in other stories pairing plus-sized male characters with OCs.

What sort of fetishistic bullarkey am I talking about? To name a handful: I love you so lose weight. I love you because you’re big. I’m fat too so it’s okay if we’re together. Blatant fat-fetish disguised as romance. Fat character’s life absolutely revolves around food and it’s gross/nvm it’s okay. Lastly, OC’s only chance at being loved by fat character is feeding them. Maybe to thin folks those don’t sound negative but to those of us who fit the description? NOPE. These don’t make healthy relationships. Using these can turn a well-meaning pairing toxic and frankly, it tends to piss off those of us who – GASP! - accept ourselves no matter our size. These...tropes, let’s call them, have made me hesitant to even try fiction involving plus sized male characters because I’ve been let down so many times. Finding plus sized female characters is easy, especially OCs, but appreciation for the chonky bois isn’t nearly as common. They need love too, dammit!

Ahem. Rant over.

As mentioned before, I ain’t seen any of that crap in this story. This author is treating Fat Gum like she would any other character instead of focusing on the fat. I wish with all my heart that more authors were capable of (and willing to) do the same with Fat Gum, and with other plus sized male characters. I can’t even put into words how much it means to me that she’s doing such a fantastic job portraying a character type that so many writers bungle without ever realizing it. I’ve needed this story my entire life and never realized it wasn’t there; I shudder to think of how long I might have been waiting for it if this author never found the inspiration to do so.

If I don’t shut up now, I fear I never will. I love this story that much. Moving on.

Warnings

Explicit sexual content – do NOT read this around your family unless you have a stronger will than I and can do so without creeping them out. (According to my husband, when I read smut I “look like a demented vulture staring down at a half-flattened ‘possum waiting for it to take its last breath,” complete with hunched shoulders and heavy breathing. Flattering, I know.) The smut scenes, while not my usual cuppa tea, wreck. My brain? Broke. Chapter four’s budding romance? It’s goin’ on my headstone ‘cuz I’m dead.

There are mentions of human trafficking and the future may include more about it. Slut-shaming comes up a few times because men are assholes and asshole exes are the ultimate assholes. Situational fat-shaming and lack of body confidence come up as Aiko comes to recognize Fat Gum for who he is instead of what he is; on the other end of the tag, Fat is also doing a lot of it to himself even when it isn’t spelled out. You can see it behind some of his reasoning in his POV chapters and since the writer is kickass at portraying thoughts and feelings without ever breaking out of restricted POV, you can also see hints in other chapters. That said, if the shaming was really bad without any redeeming purpose, I’d have noped my way right out’a that fic and never looked back. It has a purpose, and it’s not that bad. Give it a chance.

Recommendation level

This story lacks purple prose and excessive fluff, and I haven’t seen any signs of the pop culture, literary, and music references I love so dearly, but the rating remains the same:

Ten. Out. of. Farking. TEN!

YES! I’ve finally found another 10/10!!! A quick reminder for anyone who’s managed to not see my other reading recc posts, I don’t even need both hands to count off all the 10/10s I’ve read. Congratulations, Ms. MoofyKitten – your story rocks my world and I have an addiction I do not care to shake!

[darkredehmption]

Our Mated Bed

#SL #OurMatedBed

*~*~*~*

Mal:

The air was cool outside the sheets, which was fine since I wasn’t leaving them for a fucking long while yet. As I leant off the side of the bed though, my fingers reached for the blades on the nightstand. I couldn’t help but admire them; every intricate curve and elegant line. 

The detail of the feathers was captivating - I could only imagine it’d taken Vishous hours upon hours to craft them. The fine lines, the way the light cast shadows as if the feathers were real, and soft. I waited for them to spread and take flight; a beautiful, deadly thing going airborne. I couldn’t help but smile at them adoringly. 

The fact they were silver meant they weren’t just something pointy I could stick a Lesser with; silver revealed and stopped werewolves and all other manner of beasties. I practically wanted to go hunting just for the thrill of wielding them, of feeling those winged handles pressed into my palms as I cut through my foe. 

“These may be the most beautiful blades I’ve ever seen,” I admit quietly, stroking a finger over one curling feather. “Thank you again. I love them.”

Much as I loved the male at my back. I felt the shift of the mattress as he came closer, then the heat of him along the length of my body. His hand drifted over the new scar on my back, tenderly inspecting his name. Zsadist.

“Did all your brothers carve it right?” I joke lightly, half glancing over my shoulder. “Not sure what to do if there’s a spelling mistake.”

Well, other than throw a beating…

Zsadist:

As my male rolled over in bed, I couldn’t help myself but watch as his fingers traced over the daggers I gifted to him at the ceremony. Fuck, I could stare at him all evening, he was so...breathtaking. 

I still couldn’t believe it. We were mated. I had someone in my life, and a name carved into my back. Who would've thought that I would be someone who found their other half?

My scarred lips curl into a rare smile as I shift over towards my male. Somehow, my body seemed to mold perfectly against his own, letting my hands slowly trace the name on his back.

My name. 

Snorting loudly as I wrap my arms around his middle, tugging him into me. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.” I admit as I slowly trail kisses down your nape, barely allowing my lips to graze the carving. 

“I can’t believe you are mine...I'm waiting for this to be a dream, and I’m going to wake up alone.” Grunts as I turn to burrow my face in your throat, my hands slowly sliding down the length of your body. 

“Thank you, for being mine. For being with me, and making me feel...alive.” My voice slightly hoarse as I speak. 

Mal:

“Hey…” Leaving the blades on the nightstand and hoping they didn’t fly away during the day, I turned to face mine male. “...neither of us is perfect Z,” I murmur, slipping my arm around his waist to lightly stroke my fingers down his spine. “I don’t want perfect. I want real. You’re the realest person I know,” I admit, turning my head just enough to kiss the side of his. 

I could sugar coat things; after everything Zsadist had been through in his life, he deserved a little sweetness. But neither of us was Willy Wonka. If Z deserved anything it was the truth. 

“I love you. I love you with every flaw, every scar, every shadow of your past. I love you for the future we get to make and the way you look at me like there’s nothing else on earth,” I breathe, continuing the stroke of my hands. “You don’t have to thank me for that. You don’t have to thank me like my love for you is a goodwill gesture,” I say gently. “My love for you is raw and unrelenting and crazy. My love for you will set fires and destroy shit if I let it. So don’t thank me,” I whisper, moving to gently bring his face away from my neck, until I could look into the beauty of his golden gaze. “Just love me. That’s all I want. Your love. Your happiness. And to share your life with you.”

They were some of the most honest words I’d ever spoken, and I /felt/ them in my chest, my heart, my soul. I would savage anyone who hurt him. I would eviscerate anyone that dared bring him pain in any fashion. My Divinity would not be restricted - the Creator himself would have to intervene to keep me from going apocalyptic. 

Zsadist:

His words warmed my heart and a rare smile formed on my face. A smile that was only for him, and probably no one else would ever see. 

“How do I even find the words to say after a speech like that?” Lifting my hands up to rest against his own. “Just know that I love you, and I will love you until my very last breath.” With that said I lean in for a kiss, allowing my tongue to barely graze against his own before I pull back. 

“Now. Let me look at your back again.” I purred with a soft laugh as I helped push the angel onto his stomach. As I saw my name once again, I couldn’t help but take in a deep breath. Almost like I was checking if this was actually real or I was dreaming. My fingers try not to apply too much pressure as they skim over the carvings. 

“So...your Mahmen called me her son.” I say nonchalantly, my free hand toying with my new feather pendant. Literally, the greatest gift anyone could have ever gotten me. 

“I hope I didn’t embarrass myself when I froze up on her. I mean...I hope she knows I’m grateful for her saying that.” Grunts in frustration as I roll onto my back.

“I just...spent how many days maybe a month with my own Mahmen, so I didn’t know what to say. Though, I would like to spend more time getting to know her.” I admit as I bring an arm behind my head, turning my head slightly to gaze at my male.

Mal:

The kiss was almost chaste, but there was a sweetness to it, as if the words themselves of love and a future had a flavor. Then I was obliging mine male, resting on the bed and turning my head to the side on the pillow. I watched from my periphery as Zsadist explored his name in my skin, with that same fascinated, awed look. Like he couldn’t believe it was real.

At his tongue tied explanation of my mahmen’s gesture, I actually grinned, closing my eyes and half pressing my face into the pillow as I laughed, not unkindly. Feeling the shift of the bed, I open my eyes to look at him sprawled beside me, his arm tucked beneath his head. He cut a glorious figure in the candlelight, and I forced myself not to get distracted by the planes of his body and the curve of his mouth.

“She said it so you know that she’s there for you. Whenever you need her. And whenever you’re ready,” I add with a tender smile. “I’ve mentioned the basics of your history,” I add, drawing my arms under me just enough to brace myself up, getting a better view. “Because I didn’t want either of you to… misunderstand one another.”

Now I shifted just enough, until my chin rested on my hellren’s chest, looking up at him. 

“She will love you like you’re hers. If you like. But she knows your own mahmen had a great treasure stolen from her, and that you deserve the love of a mahmen you were denied.”

Zsadist:

I lifted my hand to scrub it over my scarred face as Mal mentions he told his Mahmen about my past. How much did he tell her? Then again, she can see my slave bands, so I’m sure she knows enough about me. 

Dropping my hand as I rest back against the pillows once again, my eyes taking in my male who was happily resting against me. “I know that. Believe it or not but I would like to get to know her more, and I’m sure Phury wouldn’t mind her around.”

Chuckles as I reach my hand up to stroke my fingers along his cheek. “Hi, Hellren mine.” I could help but grin as I said those words. He was mine and I was feeling the best I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I reached down to grab a hold of the feather pendant. “This...is the best gift I’ve ever received. You know how I feel about your feathers.” Grunts loudly, not wanting to admit to the box of them I had stashed in the closet.

“I’m never taking it off. I hope you know that.” Let’s out a snort as my fingertips drag down his spine, suddenly wishing his wings were out on display as well. 

Mal:

I manage to smother a smile at the thought of my mahmen adopting males all over the place. She’d only ever had me, and she hadn’t bothered with human men for partners, even the hunters. At least, as far as I knew, and I was pretty fucking content leaving it that way too. But I had to wonder if she’d wanted more children, or if the nurturing was just ingrained enough that she’d embrace these males that’d had their childhood and innocence stolen.

It wasn’t up to me if she did or didn’t. But if she did… damn I’d be so proud of her. The female who raised me offering all that love and compassion to others? It was something to admire. To emulate. 

At the brush of his fingers along my cheek my attention was drawn back to the moment. I couldn’t even help the smile at his words, so new and yet so right. As his hand dropped to wrap around the pendant, I felt another faint flush of pride. 

“I know how much you like my feathers,” I agree, chuckling softly as I shift up enough to press a kiss to his chest. “And that feather comes from the part of my wings only you can touch,” I add, winking. “Special feather.”

My back twitched, the muscles spasming slightly with the need for my wings to appear. After so many years of hardly bothering with them, I’d had them out more here, with the Brotherhood and Zsadist, than I ever had before. They were becoming a more natural part of me - not something I hid but something I enjoyed. 

“Couple days,” I murmured, shifting further up to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Don’t want to risk upsetting the healing.”

Zsadist:

 I let out a low grunt as my male basically told me I had to wait to see his wings. Though in my head I could already picture it and was curious to see how my name will look between them. 

“True, cause I would not be okay if you hurt yourself.” Says as I hold back a growl, my hands reaching down to grab at his sides. I couldn’t help but gaze into his brown eyes when he looked at me. Suddenly, I felt all these emotions bubbling up. 

This male was mine, and he would be mine forever. Everything felt so relaxed, like I could breathe easy now and just enjoy my life. I’d always have this dark cloud hanging over me, but for the most part I could look at my male and see the light shining through.

“I love you.” 

I murmured the words in the darkness. Saying those three words seemed so natural now, like I could shout them from the rooftops. I had found my other half, the piece that had been missing for an eternity.

Carefully I cradled his face, thumbs tracing his cheeks before I leaned in for a kiss. I took my time exploring his mouth, only to pull back when I needed air. The taste of him lingered on my tongue as I let out a low purr. I was hungry for my Hellren once again. 

Mine.

[chezzkaa]

Beneath Broadway Lights

Fandom: Mystic Messenger Pairing: Zen and Reader Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: None Word Count: 3500 Summary: You efforts to support Zen, paired with a sold out ticket booth, leads to you seeking the company of gutters while he shines worlds away.

Notes: Thanks to @rageyoudamnednerd​ for commissioning this piece!  Ao3 link 

Billboards held the cityscape in static neon fingers. Desperate, and halfway to clawing a way into the sky while night descended on the pavement. Blanketed not by stars, but by those that shone just as brightly on the sidewalk. The ordinary gleaming so extraordinarily as they clustered in constellations across the expanse of bars and narrow laneways. Light and laughter spilling over storefronts and clinging to skin like summer’s heat.

The excitement of the crowd winding around the theatre stole her attention instantly. Taken by the tides of anticipation swelling against the gutters, she was left captivated by the face that peered from the inky prison of production posters. With his handsome features framed by thick lashes and unruly tumbles of white hair, she was so entirely wrapped in his anguish that it took her a moment to remember to breathe. 

Lost like a child before the gates of a fairground; she only realises that she had stopped to scan the ticket booths once a hand tugged at hers. Pulling her from the otherworldly thickness that seemed to engulf the theatre, heavy and sweet, until she resurfaced from the spell with a shudder. The lights just a little brighter. The sounds a little louder. The night just a little more alive. 

And, though drawn from the familiar name rippling through the crowd on the notes of siren songs, she couldn’t quite escape it’s call. It fell from her lips instead, intimate as it met the gaze of the man it belonged to. 

Nothing compared to the way Zen looked at her. Beneath the gaze of his universe, his everything, he glowed. Ruby eyes swimming in the brightness of his own name in lights and smile so dazzling it should come with a warning sign. He oozed certainty. And she had to admit, confidence suited him.

Zen drew her closer, cradling her to his side before continuing on their way. “Jagiya, you’re going to make me jealous.” 

“Jealous? What on Earth could the beautiful Zen have to be jealous about?”

“Hmm, I wonder…” The sonorous hum of his words caught in her hair, his cheek affectionate against the top of her head. “Mmm… Maybe it’s the way you’re staring at the posters rather than me? Hmm?”  

She let out a chuckle before hiding her burning cheeks against his neck. Breathless and bashful. “I’ll always only ever have eyes for you.”

“Really? But you’ve got to only look at me, alright? I’m not sure I could stand it if you didn’t. Huh? Promise me?”

Rounding the final corner, she stops in the shadows to graze a gentle kiss past Zen’s jaw. “I promise, Hyun. It will always be you.”

The clutching of his shirt and the muffled squeal she receives as a result set her heart soaring. Oh, god - how could she ever get enough of this man? She wished she could bask in his flustered expression a little longer. The soft pinks of his cheeks and the way his eyes danced in the starlight were always enough to set her on fire. 

Still, lingering was a risk she wasn’t willing to take. Dipping her hand beneath his hood, she ran her fingers across his smoldering cheek. 

“You head on in, Zen. The show can’t go on without its star. I’ll see you in there, alright?”

---

She had finally managed to peel Zen from her side with a little more convincing, ushering him towards the staff entrance to the theatre. And, though equally reluctant to part, she wasted no time in rushing back around to the ticket booths. It wasn’t that Zen hadn’t saved her the best seat in the house weeks in advance. He had, of course - and it was in the front row right where he could see her. But that wasn’t the point. 

She wanted to support him - in every way she could. Even if it came with a price tag, it was one she was more than willing to pay. But the sign that met her enthusiasm wasn’t entirely on board.

Tickets Sold Out.

---

Dejection followed her back around the theatre. She should have known, of course it would sell out. The musical was gold and Zen even more so. She was so proud and frustrated that she didn’t know exactly where to put her emotions. Scowling, but not defeated, she had no trouble promising that next time - well, next time she’d get a ticket for sure. 

The arm blocking her way came as a surprise. 

“Sorry, Miss. I can’t let you go any further.” 

It took her a moment, but she managed smiled up at the guard who was as stale as the cigarette smoke that clung to him.

“I’m sorry for coming in so late, I’m Zen’s plus one.”

The explanation did little good. He continued to assess her, scanning the lines of her faltering smile.  

“Of course you are,” he eventually grumbled, “can I see your pass?”

“Pass?”

“Pass,” he confirmed with a stiff nod, looking as though he knew full well that she didn’t have one. “They’re given to visitors by the staff.” 

Stumbling over words, panic strikes her expression. Zen hadn’t given her one. She imagined that he had intended to before she’d rushed off, of course, and that the piece of plastic granting her entrance would be resting cold in his coat pocket. Forgotten and completely useless. 

“I’m so sorry,” she started, watching the guard’s willingness to cooperate slowly close off. “It’s still in his pocket. I- um… You’d find it if you asked him! It’s just that I ran off before he could give it to me, it should say that i’m his girlfriend, and-” 

Through half lidded eyes, his disbelief was palpable. “Girlfriend?”

“Yes!” She brightened. “Yes, I was supposed to come through with him, but I wanted to-”

Her relief was short lived. 

“You and every other girl.”

“Pardon?”

The guard sighed and ran a hand across his face. “Look, lady, you’re the 7th girl I’ve had come through here claiming to be Mr. Zen’s partner. It’s getting a little hard to believe, you know?” 

Her cheeks flared. “I’m sorry, but I’m being serious here! If you go and ask him and collect my pass, he’ll tell you! Or I could call Hyun, and that would…” 

She trailed off, looking at the time displayed on the phone she’d just fumbled from her pocket. It would be far too late to expect him to respond. If she knew the play as back to front as Zen, and she’d argue that she did, he’d be on stage soon.

“I apologise, Miss.” The guard softened under her frustration, gentle and soothing. “I can’t go in and talk to the staff. You must have been looking forward to tonight, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave. If you have a ticket, you can enter through the front, but without a visitor’s pass I can’t let you through. No matter if you’re one of Zen’s many imaginary girlfriends or not.”

“But-”

“Please,” he urged, “if you keep refusing, I’m not able to continue being so polite.”

---

Zen was made to perform. Stepping onto a stage saw him come alive, every cell in his being buzzing with excitement beneath the spotlight as he took in the breath he needed to begin. 

He molded emotions as though they were built for him to craft.

Attention clung to him. Eyes drawn to the aura he fashioned with his motions, hearts beating in time with every agonising line he tore from his chest. The silences were heavy. Tangling in his hair with every pass of his hand and ringing through the dispassionate, self loathing laugh that shook his shoulders. Taking him over, consuming all he was in a flurry of swarming anxieties that gnawed at his being until he was hollow. The wind whistling through the hole that was once his heart. 

Not a breath was released as he moved across the stage. Every step measured; every stumble a dance that bit his knees when the ground called for him to buckle. 

She wasn’t there - and he’d noticed immediately.

Nothing pressed down on him more so than her absence. Not the weight of the character nor the mass of eyes rapped against his being. Even the stage lights, with their expectations, were nothing in comparison. His insecurities outweighed them all. 

Until he couldn’t tell who’s heartbreak he was wearing.

Could it really be his? It stung along with the tears he was already scheduled to shed, chilling the top of his torso and running icy from his shoulders. Worming its way into the stage floor he stared at, on his knees and head tucked. The strangled sound of his voice, the cracking and the soft agony playing the notes across his tongue, so truly his own. 

All because she wasn’t there. 

Maybe he’d sung his own praises one too many times. Polished his significance until it was so bright that it was blinding. Was it possible that he’d stared at his own image in the mirror with such desperation that he’d somehow managed to miss the sadness her eyes bore into his back from just beyond the entryway? The abandonment and the rejection? Hadn’t he somehow left her feeling inferior? Unable to reach the heights he scrambled for, clinging to the ledge of the impossible pedestal he was frantic to remain on.

Perhaps, while trying to rebuild the crumbling wall that was his own self confidence again and again and again, he had neglected hers. Were her hands, ragged after piecing him back together brick by cobbled brick, now too battered to hold herself - themselves - together?

The violent twist of his gut confirmed it. 

The more Zen thought about it, the more he struggled to believe that he had ever deserved her in the first place. Not just in the front row of the theatre enraptured by his heart, but in his life all together. 

He wasn’t a great man. Hell, he’d argue that he wasn’t really a good one either. There were too many flaws in himself, and yet he’d gone and given all of them to her. Broken and bruised as he was, It was no wonder she stayed.

She pitied him. 

Zen took a deep, uneven breath before forcing the character he wore from the floor. He may not be able to give to her all she needed, but for now there was a theatre full of people who he could please. Who’s affections he could soak up beneath the stage lights - just for a moment. Just while his heart was breaking. 

---

It had already started to rain. Mist would be more appropriate. A sprinkling that caught the light as it swirled much the same way as her thoughts did. Like suffocating sheets that don’t quite exist but clung to her lungs all the same. As though the clouds themselves had lowered to her level, wrapping her in an embrace that was more anxiety inducing than comforting. Damp and cold across her skin, seeping similarly across the asphalt. Dulling the colour of a painted sky until it was nothing but roiling grays.

The streets had emptied in an instant. While she waited with the stagnant sounds of the theatre between her shoulder blades, the buildings dotting the pathways had flooded with bodies. And, as the final colourful umbrella disappeared around the corner and vendors clatter their stores to a close, she found herself alone. 

She may not have been able to see him shine, but she knew he was.

Still, she remained, perched on the curb in the company of gutters and spluttering broadway lights. The mulling of music, it’s tune too faint and garbled through the hearts and walls it passes through, bounced against her back. Trapped between bated breaths and enraptured minds. Souls willingly tangled in the tale.

She could still pick out his voice. The gentle, distant melody just as sweet and familiar as it always had been. And, with her eyes closed, she could see him. See him working across the stage with the same agonised expression he’d donned as he’d paced their living room in practice. The same light in his eyes and confidence she knew full well that he deserved. 

It’s a gentle smile, but it tugged at her lips all the same. And, eventually, it became a little easier to breathe. Lost in the darkness of her own design, she waited with the cold biting her jeans and water collecting around her feet until the sounds drift into nothing. Until all that was left was her heart clinging to the smile she knew he’d be wearing as he took the stage as his own. 

That’s where he found her. 

Once all was said and done and the theatre had become empty enough for Zen to hear his heart throbbing. Light pouring over her shoulders and trickling down her front while his pulse raced in time with every flash of a neon sign. As equally captivated as he was shattered at the sight of her face lifted to the inky sky.

He was terrified to break the silence. The building behind him had long since lost its lively hum, but it was as though the night still remembered. As though she had soaked up all their was, and a single word would be enough to break the barriers and release it all. 

But he was too afraid not to hear her voice again, and selfishly so - he let her name escape. 

As she turned she brought the stars with her. Caught in her eyes as though the galaxies themselves were ablaze at the sight of him. Framed with the curls courtesy of the rain and the only warmth of the moment to be found in her cheeks. 

He’d been upset when he’d left. Desperate to scrub off the make up until his complexion was patchy, the mess of his character’s hair now his own - but with the soft smile she shed for him came a new wave of bitter self pity. Ugly and black. 

"You're here." 

It was a statement more than anything. One that tripped her up as she stood, her words coming in a rush while trying to regain her footing. "Zen! Finally, you're out. I-"

But he cut her off. Tone worn and faded, under eyes smudged with stage makeup and worry. "Did I do something?"

She stopped advancing immediately. Staring at him across the expanse of the sidewalk - him beneath the broadway lights while she lingered by the gutter. There was a beat, and she couldn’t tell if it's from time passing or the throb of her heart. 

"Pardon?"

"You weren't there, Jagiya."

"I know, but I can-"

"Did I maybe do something?" 

He didn’t look angry. Far from it, in fact. He looked resigned. As though it’s been such a long, exhaustive night that it was easier for him to accept every blow than fight back if he ever intended for it to end. 

“If I’ve upset you,” Zen continued, getting more and more desperate the longer he went on, “then please, please tell me so I can fix it.”

“Upset me?” 

“I looked for you, Jagi.” Trapped in his own self doubt and the panic bubbling in his chest, words spilled down his front. “I - god, huh, I waited for you. But you weren’t there. And just… It must have been my fault?”

She could see him spiralling. Clearly able to watch his descent into the darkened depths of a heart she’d unwittingly helped fracture. His own insecurities tangling around him, snaking into his chest and constricting his lungs. Stealing his air. Robbing him of any faith he had left in himself. 

But she tries to stop him. Tries to clasp his hand as he falls, calling out his name in an attempt to root him in the Earth. A few short steps and she was standing in front of him, Zen towering above her but threatening to crumble with every tremble that rocked through him. A tentative touch later and she was holding his hand. Unfurling his fist and smoothing out the crescent moons his nails had carved into the flesh of his palm. 

“Hyun,” she murmured, giving his fingers a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “I’m not following you. Please, calm down and try again?”

He nodded. Small and slow before letting out a shaky breath. “I’m not the easiest to love. Mm, I have a nice face, sure. A very nice face - I can’t deny it. But that’s all anyone ever sees. That’s not love. No one loves me like you. You make me feel important. Like everything I do has meaning. Like I’m the moon and stars, when that’s what you are to me, Jagi… What’s with that face, huh? You are, you know. You’re so important and beautiful and wonderful. But… did I not tell you that enough? Have I not been loving you enough for you to want to stay with me?”

“Hyun…”

“When you aren’t there…” Zen shrank into himself, shoulders curling and eyes darting to the floor. His teeth caught his bottom lip, worry working it raw. “I don’t have anyone.”

“Be careful there, baby,” she teased gently, laughing to ease the shaking of his hand in hers. “You’re other girlfriends will be heartbroken to hear you thinking so little of them.”

It only took a moment, but Zen’s eyes blew wide. Face contorting in panic as he processed her words and took her light hearted, remarkably ill-timed joke in the wrong direction. 

“Other girlfriends?” The words felt wrong in his mouth. Tongue bitter and lips unable to touch them for long. “Huh? Jagiya, what are you talking about? Other girlfriends? I could look at hundreds of pretty girls, and you’re the only one who - I don’t understand. Did you not come inside because you think I’m cheating on you?” 

It was her turn to panic. Reeling along with him as she frantically tried to pick up the pieces of his heart that she’d just managed to help him pick up. 

“Oh god no,” she exclaimed, hands latching onto his cheeks before he can recoil any further away. “No, Hyun! That’s not why I didn’t come in at all, I swear. I’m sorry, damn it, I’m so sorry! I’m out here because I tried to buy a ticket, but they were sold out and then security wouldn’t let me in.” 

Though mangled through the cheeks she was squeezing, arguably too hard but not enough for Zen to mind, she vaguely made out his words.  

“Why would you buy a ticket?”

“Because I wanted to support you…”

His eyebrows knitted together, and if she weren’t so concerned with fixing her own blunder, she’d spend hours kissing the adorable pout from his lips. 

“By accusing me of cheating?”

Screaming seemed like the appropriate response, but she controlled herself. “No no, I’m so sorry! That was a terribly timed joke.”

“You think?!”

“I just panicked.” She shifted from foot to foot, incredibly anxious in the hot water she’d put herself in. “I wanted you to laugh, and went with the first joke that popped into my head, I’m sorry.”

With her grip relaxing, Zen held her hands to his face. He almost smiled, the combination of relief and feeling of her so close near overwhelming. “Where did you come up with such a crazy idea, hmm?”

“The guard,” she groaned, hanging her head before snapping it back to attention. “He said other girls played the girlfriend card to get in and I thought it was funny. I just - baby, I don’t want you feeling sad about this. I sat here in the rain waiting for you, you know. Do you have any idea about what that means?”

Zen shook his head, but the light in his eyes began to return. A low, warm smoulder that churned in ruby rivers. 

Dislodging one of her hands from his, she worked her fingers through his dishevelled hair; clearing his face and peering into it with as much adoration as she could muster. “It means I love you, silly. So much so that I can’t breathe without you.”

“You really mean it?”

“I do. There will be plenty of other shows, and I’ll go to each and every one you invite me to. I’ll just have to preorder my ticket from now on. Okay?”

Zen nodded, choking out an ‘I love you’ before burying his face in her neck. Engulfed in the scene of her, swallowed whole by her warmth and adoration, his heart finally settled. And, with every pass of her palm over his back, the patterns she worked into his muscles eased him. Her touch came to rest in his hair, fingers winding through the strands to anchor him to her. 

“It’s okay, Sweetheart, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere without you, I promise. Let's go home.”

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 116: Prison Chat

Previously on BnHA: We took a break from the U.A. kids and their provisional license exam antics and got a whole chapter from Twice’s point of view. He has a fucked up backstory which involves him cloning himself and then his clones all battling for dominance and murdering each other, and now it’s just him left and he’s not even sure if he’s the original. We also learned that Endeavor is not exactly winning people over as the new number one hero, and most people are either underwhelmed or openly creeped out by him. Meanwhile, emboldened villains feel increasingly comfortable committing petty crimes in broad daylight and teaming up now that All Might isn’t around. A new group of villains lead by a dude named Overhaul committed some light dismemberment and arson, and it looks like Twice is thinking about recruiting them to the League. Finally, we cut to a max security prison where All Might is apparently meeting with the imprisoned All for One to “settle things” omgggggggg.

Today on BnHA: All Might asks All for One about Tomura and about what he was planning. All for One is predictably unhelpful and says that Tomura is working on his own now. They have an admittedly fascinating discussion about why All for One decided to groom a successor after being injured by All Might. AFO then expertly provokes All Might by speculating about the chaotic state of the outside world with startling and annoying accuracy. He taunts All Might about being frustrated and powerless. All Might says he knows that AFO was planning to have Tomura kill both him and Deku. He says he won’t let that happen, and that no matter how many evil schemes AFO hatches, he will always be there to crush them. Back at the fanfic dorms, the kids of 1-A wind down as they excitedly await the start of the new semester. Bakugou comes up to Deku and tells him to meet him outside later and that “it’s about your quirk.”

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 151 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.

**There are spoilers in this recap for chapter 131, which has not yet aired in the anime.** These spoilers are tagged as always, but take heed.)

BAKUGOUUUUUUU

“the noble beast of class 1-A” lol wtf

“Tartarus Greeting” isn’t that like the Greek hell

WE ONLY HAVE THREE MORE CHAPTERS LEFT IN THIS VOLUME FOR THIS BRAT TO GO CONFRONT DEKU ABOUT HIS QUIRK. GET A MOVE ON ALREADY BOY

but of course we’re opening right where we left off first. the prison with All Might and All for One. which I’m also pretty hyped for, so

All for One is complaining about the high level of security in this high security prison

apparently they’re monitoring his vitals, brain waves, etc. at all times, and if you so much as wiggle in your chair the wrong way, all the gun turrets in the place will point at you

still think he could escape in an instant if he wanted to. he probably has a bulletproof quirk. and we know he has a fucking warp quirk. he’s just biding his time

oh, apparently Tartarus is the name of the prison. also the prison is underground. or at least his part of it is underground. cuz it didn’t seem to be underground when we cut to the exterior of the building just a couple of panels ago

is there any wood around, All Might. you should probably knock on some wood. fucking jinxed us all, dude

All for One’s only response is “let’s assume that to be the case.” fffff lol yeah okay

so he’s asking what does All Might want with him, where’s Gran Torino, why did All Might come alone, “what’s with that pitiful costume” -- and okay, with that last one though, so are you actually fucking blind or not. I know he doesn’t have eyes and he’s been using infrared and the like, but his scathing remarks about All Might’s appearance are always so on point and it’s like ???

(ETA: goddammit I wish I could just project this thought into Horikoshi’s mind. like he suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat and is all “THE PLOT HOLE. OMG. I FORGOT” and immediately goes to write one of his infamous bonus page ramblings to correct it. I mean, it’s an easy enough fix. he can make up some bullshit quirk to explain it easily enough. but just. it really bothers me for some reason, like way more than it should. fuck you, All for One)

All Might really fucking hates All for One you guys. not gonna lie, pissed off is a good look for him

now he’s asking where Tomura is

All for One says he doesn’t know. “unlike you, I’ve already let my successor carry on”

now All Might’s asking him what he was trying to do. “what were you after?”

okay but now that the immortality thing has been brought up, it reminds me that I’ve been wondering why would this basically immortal guy suddenly become so obsessed with molding a successor? to the extent where he said that everything he’d been doing was for Tomura’s sake. (although whether or not that’s true is a whole nother story)

All for One says it’s pointless to explain it because All Might would never be able to understand

and now he’s saying that he and All Might are the same. two sides of the same coin type of thing. “in the same way you aspired to be the hero of justice, I yearned to be the king of evil”

when he says “live on eternally”, he’s talking about his legacy living on through Tomura, then? cuz idk, I still don’t buy it

and now All Might is also asking him “if that’s the case, why a successor?”

ah, he says it’s because of the injury All Might inflicted on him

I really love the way the reflection is dividing this image between All Might and All for One’s faces. oh damn

and all right, I guess I can buy this explanation. but I still can’t see Tomura as having those final villain chops though. idk, I wouldn’t be surprised if All for One changes his mind, or manages to acquire a better healing quirk than his current one -- one which actually allows him to restore himself to his former glory -- and then he decides he wanted to carry on with the whole villain thing after all

someone over the speaker is telling All Might he only has three more minutes

and now All for One is like OH SHIT and he’s trying to think of all the other shit he wanted to say to him lol

he’s asking how the world is out there now that All Might’s retired

it’s like Order of the Phoenix, but not quite Half-Blood Prince, fyi

dude on the loudspeakers is warning All Might not to give him any info

All for One says “what a shame”

and now it looks like he’s going to speculate. and probably be bang on target too

did you actually read the previous chapter yourself somehow or what

I wish All Might would stop gritting his teeth and clenching his fist and sweating in this way that just confirms every damn thing that All for One is saying

ffffff he must be so frustrated though. he devoted his entire life to making a peaceful world and to see that all fall apart and to be helpless to do anything about it...

and of course All for One is making the exact same observation. :/ “I believe you will spend the rest of your life stricken by your powerlessness and inability to do anything”

fucking hell, can’t we just have one of these turrets suddenly tragically “malfunction” and end this dude already. someone please tell me why we’re keeping him alive. clearly he’s no good for information

he’s asking All Might how it feels

All Might, the best thing you could do right now would be to just stand up and walk out of the room. you’re not getting anything else out of him and right now he’s getting under your skin, and seeing you hurting over this is giving this fucker exactly what he wants

the loudspeaker voice is also telling All Might to back away

I feel like he’s talking to me more than to All Might. about the “no hitting” part. yes that is indeed a shame

ooh, All Might’s gonna fire something back at him! GO TOSHI GO

he’s telling him not to presume that he knows everything. and he says he understands All for One’s thinking very well

oh shit

okay so like. I really like when older mentor type characters mention their proteges like this and they’re like “that boy” or “that child” and it’s like a reminder of how young and vulnerable and inexperienced the protege character is still, and how the mentor character is always looking out for them. like. I just like that. maybe it’s that it makes me feel like I can bond with the mentor character over our mutual protectiveness of the kid

anyway. so All for One isn’t even denying it; he’s just like, “and?”

and All Might is just like

dang. although once again I really wish that there was some wood nearby for you to knock on fffffffffffff

(ETA: ****SPOILER WARNING FOR CHAPTER 131, WHICH HAS NOT YET AIRED IN THE ANIME****

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so not only is All Might saying “fuck you” to All for One here, but he’s also giving the middle finger to fate itself. and I have to admit, it’s incredibly badass, even if it also makes me more worried than ever about him jinxing it. you see, that’s the upside of sticking around to raise your successor, AFO. you get to be inspired by them in some unexpected ways.

also, All Might is very brave and very determined and I love him so much omg.

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****END SPOILERS****)

and now the loudspeaker guy is telling All Might his time is up

All Might says that whatever future AFO is envisioning, All Might will always smash it no matter what, and AFO can spend the rest of his life sitting here and looking on

yeah bro. way to get the last fucking word in

now the doors are closing on All for One, and he’s laughing because of course he is

oh fuck you, dude. this conversation has been amazing but I’m tired of you now lol

now we’re cutting to All Might riding home with his best bro Nao

Nao’s asking how it went and All Might’s like, yeah, it didn’t

!! he’s mentioning that he also talked with Stain?!

(ETA: Mangastream’s translation made it sound like he spoke with him, but Viz and Fallen Angels's versions said that he was making plans to question him but hadn’t actually done so yet. given that this hasn’t come up again yet -- at least not at the point where I’m currently at -- I’m guessing Viz and FA got it right. though I’m still curious as to what they actually want to talk to him about.)

but now he’s getting interrupted by his phone which is buzzing

AHHHHH HE GOT DEKU’S WHOLESOME TEXT

All Might please charge your phone soon

HE EVEN HAS DEKU LISTED IN HIS CONTACTS AS “MIDORIYA-SHOUNEN” LMAO

HIS DAD FACE AT THE END OMG. HE REALLY NEEDED THIS RIGHT NOW

also it completely slipped my mind earlier, but he finally has his arm out of that cast. and apparently the hand is doing pretty well since he’s using it to text. good good

AHHHHH FINALLY WE’RE BACK AT THE U.A. DORMS

the kids are hanging out in the common area. Deku’s wondering if All Might got his text yet. he has this super cute proud little smile on his face

I’m so happy for him

but I won’t pretend I’m not also preoccupied with how Bakugou is doing lol. like, he wasn’t one to hang out with the others much even before this, and now it’s probably going to be even less so, at least until their excitement at having all passed the exam dies down. I expect Shouto will be keeping to himself a little bit more for a while too

gasppppppppppp

[FRANTICALLY CHECKING OWN PULSE BECAUSE I’M PRETTY SURE MY HEART JUST STOPPED]

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD

(((o(꒪ □ ꒪ )o)))

I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUTTTTTTTTTTTT AHHHHHHHHHHH

 BONUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU GUYS!!!!!!!! HOW AM I EVEN SO EXCITED WHEN I FUCKING KNEW THIS WAS COMING?!?!?! I DON’T EVEN KNOW!!!!!

THE BONUS PAGE IS JUST KACCHAN AND HIS SQUAD ALONG WITH TETSUTETSU AND MONOMA FROM CLASS B FOR SOME REASON

ALSO THE GUY WHO WROTE THE VIGILANTES SPIN-OFF THINKS THAT TSUYU HAD A LIL TADPOLE TAIL UNTIL KINDERGARTEN!

IT SAYS “NOTE: NOT CANON” BUT IT’S MY FUCKING CANON NOW DUDE

“AND I LIKE TSUYU” I FUCKING LIKE HER TOO OMG

BAKUGOU!!!! AND DEKU!!!! OUTSIDE!!!!!!!!!!! TALKING. ABOUT. QUIRKS

someone help me, I’m pretty sure if my apartment were to fucking catch fire right at this moment I’d still be reading and just ignoring it omggggg

[xonismsx]

peter; regarding being a hatstall

fun fact: one of the few canon facts we have about peter, is that he was a hatstall! the sorting hat took over 5 minutes to place him into a house. & while a hatstall implies that the student is equally suited to different houses, in order to be considered a true hatstall, the sorting has to take a significant period of time ( ie. 5+ minutes ) compared to people who are sorted before the hat is fully sitting on their head. now, while most people believe he was sorted into the wrong house & belonged in slytherin, ( solidified by jkr through pottermore but i don’t think it makes much sense but then again most things she say doesn’t ) .i think that the tie was between gryffindor & ravenclaw.

             why might you ask? well, i’ll tell you!

to start, never once have i ever thought peter belonged in slytherin. while typically slytherins are considered selfish or self-serving, it’s always to fuel their ambitions or in their strive towards a place of leadership; two things peter doesn’t want any part of. he may have done selfish things, but who hasn’t? the hat would have seen how little desire for the spotlight peter had. putting him in slytherin is what i believe would have suited him the least of the four the houses. so going along with an analogy i use later, being sorted into slytherin would have put him in a box, a rather small one at that. slytherin would have fostered his fear & worries. he might have found true friends in that house, but he’d also be surrounded by the very people that would have called him spineless & stupid. if i’m being honest, i think he would have considered dropping out of school. he would have been pitied & bullied by his peers without the marauders to stand up for him & help him learn to stand up for himself.

& before i get going, i’d like to remind you all the hat judges based on the present, nothing else. the hat can’t see the future. these kids are 11 years old when they’re sorted. all the hat does is see which house will help the student grow the most & allow them to reach their full potential. people change a lot as they grow up. meeting the right or wrong people can make a world of difference, & the hat can’t control what influences might arise. it gives you tools, but what you do with those tools is up to you. the hat can’t control that. 

next, why ravenclaw? that resourcefulness you see in slytherins, is right there with ravenclaws as well. as well all know, ravenclaw, as a house, values intelligence, creativity, learning, & wit; four things peter has an abundance of/interest in. he’s extremely creative in order for him to make up for his shortcomings, & would have had to have his wits about him to accomplish even half the things he did. these two alone imply a level of intelligence above average. there aren’t many people who could have gotten away & survived as long as he had without somehow getting just getting lucky. he planned what he could, he saw an opportunity, & he took it. finally, learning; peter never stopped learning. 

from the start he was at a disadvantage, & had to make up for it in anyway he could. everyone always thinks that remus was the smartest of the group, but i would wager to say that peter rivals that. sirius & james may have come up with the majority of the pranks, but i believe that it was remus & peter that brought them into reality. i’d also like to think that it was peter that brought up the idea of becoming animagi. students are taught about them in their third year, but while they’re given some information, there wasn’t really enough for anyone to think something other than, oh that would be cool. it was probably something the group discussed but there wasn’t much they could do beyond that. so when peter brought it up as a concrete idea, he wasn’t confident they’d be able to do it, but he would have done a hell of a lot of research & would have been able to do so on the sly as recon without arousing suspicion because who would imagine that little peter pettigrew would even dream of attempting such a thing? in general he was greatly underestimated & he used it in his favour, but really it’s all a testament to his level of intelligence & his abilities to use that intelligence to the degree he did.

being in ravenclaw, while as hard as it might have been, i have no doubt that the friends he would have made would have helped him find the tools he needed to improve his academics, provided possible workarounds for his disability ( link & explanation here ), & just generally would have made his school like more manageable. & while people might have questioned the sorting hat’s logic, they’d have come to terms with the fact peter was there for a reason & wouldn’t have called him stupid. they’d have looked at other tells for intelligence, & seen that peter wasn’t skilled in academics the same way other were, but that didn’t make him stupid. he had a wide array of skills that people would have seen, rather than overlooked. i also think that peter might have helped impact the school as a whole, as strange as that might sound. he’d have proven his worth & helped those around him understand that not everyone fits the same mold, & that people can be equally intelligent while showing talent in different fields.

i just, have a lot of feelings about ravenclaw!peter okay. don’t get me wrong, i love the marauders to no end, & i value their friendship & bond very highly, but it doesn’t change the fact that had peter been sorted into ravenclaw, he’d have been a very different peter. perhaps a happier one even, but we’ll never know for sure. tbh i could talk for hours about what a ravenclaw!peter so if you’re ever curious what they might have been like, say the word & i’ll hit you with a dozen headcanons at once.

moving on !

i’d also like to point out that while hufflepuff perhaps wasn’t the best fit of the four houses, i think he would have done well enough there. as we all know, hufflepuff values hard work, patience, justice, & loyalty. & as strange as it might sound, these traits are something peter feels quite strongly about. while the latter two might seem like they’re up for debate, no matter what people say about his strength of character, no one can deny how hard he works, nor can they question his unrivaled amount of patience. regardless of the topic or situation, peter has always been the type to go all in, & never does anything without giving 110%. i also think that the patience & support of those in hufflepuff would have been very good for him. that being said, i do think he needed to be surrounded by people who were strong & loud ( & narcissistic even ). gentle support only goes so far. being in gryffindor taught him so much, & allowed the most amount of growth. If i’m being honest, i think being in either slytherin or hufflepuff would have limited that growth. being in gryffindor meant there was no box for him to sit in, he got to wander out & do whatever he wanted with the comfort & safety knowing his best friends were doing the same thing right there with him.

i think this was actually something that drew the other marauders to him. they would have seen his curiosity, his eagerness for spontaneity, his willingness to try anything once. they helped him try everything ( whether it’s something the boys should have gotten up to or not ) & that’s something i’m not sure he could have achieved had he been placed elsewhere.

but !!! back to being a hatstall & what was going on in that moment. most of this is taken from an old headcanon i posted but i’m not going to link it bc i’ve changed some details & reworded a lot, but if any of this sounds familiar, that might be why. 

so, if there is one thing every witch or wizard wonders about before they are sorted, it is about which house they’ll end up in & peter was no different. he wondered & wondered which house fit him best but in the end, he knew where he wanted to be sorted; gryffindor. it wasn’t exactly a secret that the sorting hat might take into consideration the wishes of the wearer & all peter could think of while the old, worn fabric sat on his head & grumbled about struggles, was how much he wanted to be a gryffindor. he desperately wanted to be brave & courageous & daring & able to stand up for himself when he needed to. he wanted to have an impact & he wanted to be special. it was his thinking that the only way for him to do that, was to be sorted into the house whose values he held in the highest regard. in the end, it was the hat’s decision but peter got what he wanted & i don’t doubt that it was probably what he needed the most.

[texanredrose]

Dishonored Ch 8

Winter awoke with a start as something metallic clanged, jolting upright and wiping at her face. Or, rather, she would’ve done the former if a weight wasn’t pinning one of her arms down. Turning her head, she took note of having rolled onto her back sometime during her sleep while Ruby shuffled over, still on her side but now using Winter’s arm as a pillow, her bedroll forgotten. However, the woman didn’t have the heart to wake her just yet, even as the sounds of the camp being torn down around them continued. There were more than enough hands for them to not be missed and Ruby could use a bit more sleep.

Idly, she reached over and brushed a lock of hair behind the woman’s ear, causing her to lightly stir with a murmur before settling again. The face of a rebel, a leader of fighters spanning the globe, looked so different in slumber, when the weight of Remnant had slid from her shoulders. The bit of saliva that trailed from her mouth seemed almost childish, sloppy, while her waking self had to keep track of so much that she couldn’t afford to be such. Even in the darkness, she could see how the lean look to her face hadn’t quite erased the roundness that clung to her cheeks, making her appear almost innocent when those flashing silver eyes were closed. The smoothness of her brow now that she had no worries… Winter found it a little difficult to reconcile the visage before her with the scowling, defiant resistance fighter who’d been laid before her hardly a week before. She’d lived almost her whole life seeing only a handful of emotions from those closest to her, molding her own expressions to keep as much locked away as possible, but in the days since ‘Rose’ became ‘Ruby’, she’d seen far more, from all those who sought to oppose Atlas’ rule.

Strange, she thought, that for all their freedoms, they still wore shackles. Not as heavy, not as damning, but there they hung, like the guillotine poised above their necks, ready to strike down any who would speak out. Only now did she understand what the word ‘freedom’ meant.

“Hey, Rubes, you gonna- oh.” She turned her head to regard Yang, who removed her mask and favored her with a small, soft smile. “You made a mistake, huh? She’s a bit of a cuddle bug when she’s dead tired.”

“I hardly think it a mistake,” Winter replied, keeping her voice soft so as not to disturb the woman. “If it helped her sleep, it’s no trouble at all.”

“Yeah…” For a moment, her expression pinched, lips turning down at the corners before she stepped closer and sat down, resting her mask on her knee. “Say, what are you going to do after all this is over?  We take down Atlas Command, we come back here- Ruby and I, we’ve still got a lot of fighting ahead of us, and not all of it can be solved with explosions. How do you figure into all that?”

“I… don’t know.” She looked at the ceiling of the tent, mulling over the question. “Frankly, I’ve been avoiding thoughts of the future.”

“You really don’t plan on coming back, huh?”

“You’re not wrong… but it’s not just that.” She let out a thoughtful hum, buying herself time to arrange the words. “I meant what I told Weiss. We have only each other for family now; I have no home to return to, no skills to offer, and no identity outside of that which I’ve rejected. In a kingdom without the Atlesian military, I have no place.” A sigh slipped past her lips and she paused, listening, as Ruby stirred slightly. Confident she hadn’t awoken, Winter continued softly. “At the same time, I can’t very well sit on my hands. If… when we return, I’ll have to find some way to apply myself. Perhaps I can’t make up for the mistakes I’ve made but I can die trying.”

Slowly, Yang smiled. “When, huh?”

“I did make a promise.” She indicated the white cloak she wore. “Ruby’s rather clever, using my own predilection to keeping my word against me.”

“Yeah, she’s good at that.” Shaking her head slightly, the woman got to her feet and walked over to a chest tucked into the corner, pulling out a few more masks. “The White Fang are about to move out, use the night to their favor. She’s probably got another hour before there’s too much noise for her to sleep.”

Winter glanced over and weighed her options before trying to, carefully, extricate her arm. “I should go with them.”

“You can’t see in the dark.”

“No, but I might be able to give us an edge.” It took a few tries, seeing as Ruby kept trying to dig her fingers into the fabric of her shirt or the cloak- whatever fabric she could get hold of- but eventually she managed to get free, reaching over and grabbing her discarded coat and repositioning the bedroll. The coat she put in the woman’s arms, giving her something to hold, and the bedroll replaced her arm to prop up Ruby’s head. Confident she’d get at least a little more rest, Winter got to her feet and brushed herself off, stretching out the slight ache in her back from sleeping on the ground. “The commanding officer of the base is… a unique character. I’m fairly certain I can get her to stand down without a fight.”

“Huh, really?” Yang held up her mask. “You can convince her to let the Mistral resistance fighters waltz in and steal half their docked airships?”

“Honestly?” A smirk curled her lips. “I might be able to convince her to join us, in a manner of speaking.”

A few blinks. “You’re kidding.”

“She’s always been an oddball and descended from a long line of Hunters. She’s rather loud and proud about it, despite the decline in the profession since the Pa- since the Great War.” Winter grabbed her mask and set it in place. “If I play my cards right, I should be able to convince her that, were Atlas Command to fall, Hunters will be necessary once again. I daresay she’ll jump at the opportunity.”

Suspicion showed plain in the woman’s face as she passed, lilac eyes following her until she reached the tent flap. “And that’s the person you put in charge of your airship and logistics base?”

“It’s the safest place for her to be.” Winter winced. “She has a rather nasty habit of terrorizing her soldiers in order to attract Grimm. At least the stresses of maintaining ter- kingdom wide supply lines made it so she didn’t have to use her more… extreme methods.”

“Sounds like a regular ball of sunshine.” Yang sighed. “Well, good luck. I’ll tell Blake to hold the attack order until your signal.”

“Thank you.” A mirthless chuckle left her lips. “If she sees my summons, something’s gone terribly wrong and I’ll need all the help I can get.”

“You need some help? I think Terry and Weiss are with-”

“They’re where they need to be.” With a nod, she continued out of the tent. “We’ll link up at the base.”

For a moment, the woman watched her before shrugging. “Alright.”

Winter brushed out, nearly running into Fireheart but carefully stepping around her with nothing more than a nod exchanged between them. All around, people were moving quickly but quietly to break down tents and pack up as much as they could into the few vehicles the resistance had acquired, likely in preparation for transport to a secondary location. Despite the shattered moon beginning to dip over the side of the canyon, they moved efficiently, and she thought, perhaps, her former soldiers could learn a thing or two from the deft motions.

In the back of her mind, she thought about the explanation she’d offered to Yang. Technically, she hadn’t lied, though she had exaggerated the Major’s demeanor. She wasn’t quite as vocal about her dislike of the declining regard for Hunters in favor of the military might but something in the twist of her lips whenever the old tradition came up in conversation spoke volumes to her opinion on the matter.

However, she believed she could accomplish exactly as she said regardless. One way or another, she’d secure the necessary airships without losing any of the resistance fighters in the process.

“Now where are you going?”

“Ah, there you are,” she said as Terry fell into step beside her. “I’ve got an idea and I’m off to see it through. Would you be able to keep an eye on my sister for me in the meantime?”

“What foolish idea has gotten into that head of yours this time?” They put a hand on her shoulder, bringing her to a halt. “I’m not sure how many times you plan on facing death on your own in the next forty-eight hours, but if it’s more than once, I’m afraid I need to step in and object.”

“I’m going to try talking the base commander into giving us the supplies we need-”

Fury filled their tone immediately. “You dust damned moron-”

“It’s Major Semper.”

Terry’s mouth clicked shut as they visibly drew back, looked down for a moment, then nodded. “I stand by my assessment; you’re a dust damned moron- for putting her in charge of anything larger than a puddle.”

“She’s served admirably in the short term.” Winter coughed into her hand. “And I do rotate soldiers through the base at twice the pace as usual.”

“Congratulations; you’re a lucky moron.” They shook their head and made a dismissive gesture with their hands. “Fine. You go deal with that hothead and I’ll keep an eye on your sister.”

She almost continued on her way but paused and turned back. “The others, too.”

“Others?”

“Rose, Dragon, Fireheart, Cat- all of them.” Reaching up, she adjusted the cloak. “In the event I talk myself into trouble, ensure they know what to expect before charging into the base.”

“Well, at least you picked an easy favor.” Terry sighed, their shoulders dropping slightly as they spread their hands. “Think you can try to be careful? I’d rather not explain to your sister how and why you went off on your own like this, much less the others.”

“Dragon knows.”

“And she’s letting you go?”

“Frankly, I don’t think she cares for me much.” A shrug. “To her mind, I’m sure it’s either I die and I’m out of her hair or I live and her friends and family are saved additional losses.”

“I’m so happy you’re nonchalant about this.” They crossed their arms over their chest. “Well… you’d best get going if you plan on beating the White Fang out there.”

“Oh, that won’t be too much trouble,” she said, pulling her sword from her hip and summoning a set of glyphs. “Though, if you’d like to stall, that would be rather helpful.”

Terry tilted their head. “Concerned they might go charging in, guns blazing?”

“Sword at the ready would be more appropriate.” She frowned and glanced in the direction of the White Fang, whom she could see congregating while waiting for the signal to go. “I’ve no doubt… Cub would strongly object to me walking into that base without back-up.”

“She’s not the only one.” Another sigh, this one defeated. “But I’m not wasting any more energy fighting with you over this. I don’t have your stubbornness.” They held out their hand. “Good luck with Semper. You’re going to need it.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” she replied, grasping their forearm briefly, long enough for it to be returned, before turning start running along her glyphs towards the base.

As long as she had time, she could probably succeed.

Probably.

The shouts of people moving about the camp eventually roused her, and she had to wipe away the drool from her mouth when she felt the sticky wetness trailing down her chin. Briefly, she had the presence of mind to hope Winter hadn’t seen it- Yang teased her enough about her messy sleeping habits, she didn’t want to lend credence to any of it- but found the woman nowhere to be seen. Then, belatedly, she realized she’d somehow grabbed her military coat, which hadn’t been near either of them when falling asleep.

“Oh, good, you’re awake.” She looked up, scrubbing at her eyes while Pyrrha stepped over and knelt down, holding out a bowl. “Yang wanted to make sure you ate.”

“Where is she?” More stew, it hardly had a taste anymore.

“Supervising the storage of our camp. She’s already tasked out the tribemates staying behind to get it moved back home.” Pyrrha fidgeted a little bit. “Blake took the White Fang to stand by near the base.”

“Stand by?” Her brow furrowed. “What are they waiting for?”

“Winter said she might be able to convince the base’s commander into joining us.” A pause. “Though, she did warn that it might not work out that way.”

Ruby’s eyes went wide. “Well, who went with her? Terry? Weiss?”

Pyrrha shook her head. “She went alone.”

“And you let her?” Ruby shot to her feet, dropping the bowl and bending down to snatch up her cloak. “When have we ever just let someone go off on their own?”

“You mean besides when you did?” Although a bit of teasing hung in her voice, she did also hold a bit of seriousness in her eyes. “She assured Yang she could handle it.”

“She’s also got a habit of plunging headfirst into serious danger!” She objected, reaching for her weapon. “I’m going after her.”

“Wait, Yang said-” When she rounded on Pyrrha, a bit of silver bleeding from her eyes, the redhead put her hands up in a placating motion. “She just said that, if you were going to run after her, you should keep in mind that we’re not looking for a full scale fight. Use your head.”

For a moment, she considered pointing out the irony of that advice. Then, she discarded it with a roll of her eyes and started running out of the tent, her semblance lending her speed as rose petals trailed behind her.

It really shouldn’t surprise her that Winter had coaxed her into sleeping only to leave off on her own. The woman had a reckless streak that made their run at Atlas Command look tame in comparison. Hardly any action she’d taken recently passed the common sense test, by her own accounts. Now, she was walking into a base on the hope she could flip another officer?

Ruby liked to be an optimist but she didn’t like gambling; this definitely felt like the latter.

She wove her way through the trees, moving as fast as she could- a red blur to any eyes trying to see her. The shattered moon had started its descent, leaving very little light in the pre-dawn hours. If she hadn’t traversed similar terrain for the majority of her life, she might’ve tripped on a rock, or missed a foothold when scaling the worn trail leading up the canyon wall, or slammed into a tree in the forest surrounding the base. However, she managed to avoid all those pitfalls while keeping her eyes open for any sign of Winter.

All too soon, she reached the edge of the main road leading to the base, where she would be entirely exposed. Instead, she crouched next to a tree, scanning to see if there were fresh bootprints or some sort of sign. However, nothing jumped out at her and the base’s entrance sat a mere click up the road. If she couldn’t see the woman from here…

Something dropped down beside her from the trees overhead and she immediately swung Crescent Rose, the weapon still in its collapsed sniper form and ready to blow the head off of whatever thought to sneak up on her.

Or, it would’ve, had she actually been able to follow through. Whoever had caught her off guard also caught her weapon in one hand, just barely keeping it from pressing against her temple while the blade in her other hand came to rest against Ruby’s throat.

“Good morning to you, too,” Winter said coolly, her voice soft.

Relief surged through her as she lowered her weapon. “I would’ve given you a normal greeting if you hadn’t run off on me.”

“Forgive my poor manners.” The dagger came away from her throat and returned to its home in her saber. “I thought sparing your family the pain of an extra battle would be better news to awaken to.”

Ruby rolled her eyes, catching the slight smirk. “I can’t leave you alone without you running off on some ‘I might die but it’s for a good reason’ mission, can I?”

The woman regarded her for a moment, her expression almost impossible to read thanks to her mask. “You technically didn’t leave me alone.”

“If you have to use the word ‘technically’, your argument is flawed,” she replied, glancing up the road. “You haven’t gone up there yet?”

“No. I’m waiting for the change of guard.” She motioned towards the base. “The night guards will be jumpy and eager to go to bed at the end of their shift; they’ll be more inclined to… deal with matters in a method that requires the least amount of paperwork.”

“Shoot first, ask no questions, and hide the evidence.” Ruby hummed, slowly turning to look at the woman. “You knew that before you left, didn’t you?”

“If I’d waited, you would’ve somehow talked me out of it.”

At that, she chuckled. “I would’ve just insisted on going with you.”

“Yes, because not only am I approaching an Atlesian officer in the hopes of flipping her to our side, I’m going to do it with the leader of the resistance beside me.” Winter’s lips twitched into a smile. “You do enjoy taking the dangerous jobs.”

“Says the woman who came out here alone.” Shaking her head, Ruby glanced up the road. “How long until the guards change?”

“The new shift arrived about the time you did.” All traces of mirth faded as she stood tall and stepped out into the road. “You should probably wait here.” Winter glanced her way and something must’ve shown in her eyes because she immediately relented. “Or just stay close.”

“Now you’re getting it.” She moved to stand beside the woman, tucking her weapon away for the moment and adjusting her cloak to cover it. “Will we even make it to the gate before they start shooting?”

“Of course.” A pause. “I’m fairly certain, anyway.”

“That’s not very comforting… but we’ll make it.” Ruby nodded, shifting her weight. “If nothing else, we can retreat and regroup with the others.”

They started on their way down the road, walking side-by-side, with the taller of the two shortening her strides to make it easier for her to keep up. Winter didn’t have to, of course, but make no move to acknowledge it, so she remained silent. The only sound aside from their boots crunching on the dirt and rocks was their cloaks lightly flapping in the breeze and the rustling of leaves.

As they reached the last bend towards the base, Ruby had to steel her nerves. Much like the central base, this one had big, bright spotlight illuminating the walls, a Paladin sitting on either side of the entrance, and at least a full score of Knights standing at the ready, plus a few flesh and blood soldiers. However, the closer they got, the more she noticed the Knights and Paladins seemed… strange, as if they weren’t online for some reason and merely propped up as if they were.

“Be ready to run,” Winter said as the soldiers began straightening up, noting them coming up the road.

Then, two rifles were pointed at them as one of the soldiers shouted. “By the count of five, you’d better be frozen!”

“But I have a delivery of flowers for you.”

Although Ruby didn’t quite understand that response, it did cause the soldiers to relax… slightly. Somewhere in the back of her mind, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Yang’s pointed out that, being ‘Rose’, she could very easily be the ‘flowers’ to be delivered, but she quashed the thought immediately. Winter wouldn’t go through all this trouble just to offer her up to the Atlesian military.

“Identify yourself.” The soldier, although seemingly confident they weren’t foes, hadn’t quite dropped his weapon just yet.

Slowly, deliberately, the woman reached up to pull off her mask while brandishing her saber with her other hand. “Do you honestly need an introduction, Sergeant?”

“C-colonel.” Instantly, both soldiers snapped to attention. “We received word from the central base; we thought you were killed by the resistance, Ma’am.”

“I should be offended you thought so little of me,” she replied, though a bit of amusement curled her lips. “How did you establish communications?”

“By using the old shortwave communications system. We found a few tucked away in the supply shed; several of the other bases across the territory have also found their outdated equipment and got them up and running.” He fidgeted slightly. “Should I send word back to the central base that you’ve arrived, Ma’am? Is the General with you?”

“No, on both accounts.” Winter straightened up, her voice taking on a serious tone, the same voice she’d used when ordering her soldiers. “Get Major Semper down here. I need to speak with her immediately.”

“Uh, yes, Ma’am, right away.” When neither moved, the Sergeant smacked the shoulder of the soldier standing next to him, sending him scurrying into the guard shack set beside the wall. Then his attention fell to her and, beneath her cloak, she wrapped a hand around Crescent Rose just in case. “Uh… Ma’am, is… that-”

“Oh, how rude of me. Allow me to make the introduction.” The woman waved a hand towards her. “This is the one and only Rose, leader of the Mistrali resistance.”

The Sergeant nodded slowly, as if he was more than aware of her identity. “Did you… capture her, Ma’am?”

“No. I’ve decided to join her cause.” He blinked, slowly. “If you’re planning on acting on that information, Sergeant, I advise you do so quickly. I’d like to have my conversation with the Major in relative peace.”

Ruby watched as the grip on his weapon shifted, her weight moved from side-to-side, as if he couldn’t decide whether or not to raise his weapon. “But… why?”

Winter paused, as if she genuinely didn’t expect the question, and then chuckled. “Why? Look around you, Sergeant. Look at what we’ve done to Remnant. The wars we’ve started, the people we’ve slaughtered, all in the name of things we never intended to deliver. Who are we protecting when we execute anyone suspected of having objections? What safety do we provide when the people cower away from us? What are we doing here, except exerting a control on people who should have just as much a right to live as any of us? This land isn’t ours but we’ve taken it, enslaved its people, and desecrated its sanctity, all for the gain of Atlas.” She stopped then, gesturing towards him. “Consider your own position. Were I to simply speak it, you would be killed. Why? Because I am born of Atlas and you are not. Is that fair? Is it right?” A shake of her head. “I don’t believe so, not anymore. It doesn’t absolve me of my crimes, of the blood on my hands, but I’ll not add more deaths to my name if I can help it. Except those who’ve pit us against each other in the first place.” A very deliberate pause. “And those who stand in my way.”

This was part of why she’d made the decision to try reaching out to the woman beneath the soldier. Ruby didn’t have any idea how it looked from a soldier’s perspective; Ilia’s inclusion into the White Fang filled in some gaps but she wouldn’t be able to appeal to those who’d lived and breathed Atlas Command’s dogma their entire lives. Winter, on the other hand, had the same perspective, or at least a similar one to any soldier they came across.

“So… the… central base… is breaking away from the command?” The Sergeant seemed conflicted, fearful- as if he couldn’t decide how to react.

“I didn’t say that.” The severe line of her shoulders dropped. “The General and I defected on our own. I left Major Thorn in charge of the soldiers at the central base; they’re unaware of our changed allegiance as of yet. You’re free to inform them, if you’d like. It doesn’t make much difference to me.”

Tilting his head, the man regarded her with bare faced confusion. “Wait… you didn’t order your entire base to follow you?”

Much to her surprise, Winter laughed. “I hardly think I could proclaim myself to be fighting for people’s freedom while ordering people to follow me into doing so. I simply left instructions for Major Thorn to take care of the soldiers and protect the civilians around the base. I can’t make the decision for them, nor for you.” She raised her sword, then set it back to her hip. “I meant what I said, Sergeant. I’ll only fight you if you force me into it; there’s been too much death already.”

The other soldier returned, a bit of a shake to his voice. “M-ma’am, Major Semper is on her way, and she’s, uh, well, she’s-”

“Angrier than a Lancers’ nest, I imagine. That’s perfectly fine.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “She’s much stupider when angry.” The immediate coughing that followed probably meant that Winter’s assessment had to be close to the mark but she couldn’t help but turning a questioning brow towards the woman. “Not everyone is cut out to be a soldier and fewer make for good officers. Semper falls into neither category.”

“Then how did she get the job?” Ruby noted the soldiers’ stiffening, as if asking the question tread on some unspoken rule.

“Nepotism, mostly. Military lineages are shown preference but Semper descends from a long line of the Hunters. Unfortunately, when Atlas Command dismantled the Hunter profession, they were ultimately absorbed into the rank and file. It’s historically not sat well with any of the Semper family and they’ve become increasingly loud and destructive in their means of announcing their displeasure.” A brief, mirthless chuckle. “She’d much rather fight Grimm than sit around in a uniform. Giving her a command, however, provides her with a few too many opportunities to do the former.”

Some soldiers- like Winter herself- she knew by both name and reputation; others, she only ever heard the latter. “Is she the Terror of Torren?” The nods that answered her weren’t exactly comforting. “And you want to bring her to our side?”

“In a manner of speaking.” A grin curled her lips. “I actually plan to simply set her loose in Atlas. She’ll do the rest on her own.”

Ruby pressed her lips into a thin line. “You’re playing a dangerous game here, Wolf.”

“You’re really not one to talk, Rose.”

Perhaps she had a point there.

Winter tilted her chin up as she heard the shouts from beyond the wall, a sure sign that Major was stomping her way through the base. Really, amongst all her headaches while acting as the commanding officer of Mistral, the woman came in close to the top, but she’d been relatively quiet in recent months. Frankly, no news constituted good news with regards to the Major, so she hadn’t looked into it any further than that.

The commotion coming from within the walls, however, proved she should’ve investigated a while ago.

When the gates opened, she laid eyes on Major Dal Semper, a woman who seemed to revel in disregarding and disrespecting as many regulations as possible. How Winter hadn’t realized all the problems that Atlas Command’s methods caused truly marked a testament to how deeply ingrained their way of life had become, only recognizing the problem when someone else suggested a better alternative.

Her uniform had the sleeves ripped off, the shirt untucked, and while she had her pant legs bloused, the boots had scuff marks and gouges, and her long brown hair fell around her shoulders like a cloak of her own, far past her hips. And she did not look pleased.

“Which one of you idiots woke me up?” She called, her voice bellowing out in the early morning air. “And which of you idiots is pretending to be the Colonel?”

“What makes you think I’m pretending?” Winter’s dry tone made the woman’s steps stutter but she managed to continue on as if nothing was remiss. “You’re looking well rested, Major.”

“You’re not lookin’ too shabby for a dead woman yourself.” A shake of her head as green eyes briefly fell on Rose. “I get the feelin’ I drank too much last night.”

“Your preference for indulgence aside, perhaps we should speak later.” She turned, as if to leave. “I’d rather have you sober before I present a solution to your… disagreements with military protocol.”

“Now, hold on a sec.” She turned towards the soldiers. “Hey, either of you have a cig?” Once provided with a cigarette and a lighter, Semper lit it and blew out the first puff before continuing. “What sort of ‘solution’ does Colonel I’ve-Got-A-Stick-Lodged-Up-My-Ass have for me, huh? It’s not like you to go against the rules.”

“Perhaps not before but, as a defector, I’ve found quite a distaste for them.”

“Defector, huh?” Her gaze flicked over to Rose. “I might buy that. Would certainly explain how half a day’s trip turned into two. Had to stop by and get your new orders.”

“Essentially, yes.” Most of their interactions went along these lines, with the Major trying her hardest to dig under Winter’s skin. The woman always craved a fight, some sort of conflict, and it would worry her if she didn’t content herself with fighting Grimm. Were those destructive inclinations ever turned on her fellow soldiers… well, that had been a concern before. Now, she was banking on it. “The resistance will be launching a decisive strike against Atlas Command using your airships.”

“The resistance, huh? ‘Cause a report came in yesterday about some White Fang bastards piloting a few airships across Mistral.”

“They’re with us.” A smile curled her lips. “We’ve got the numbers to make a real go at this.”

“And how does this solve my problem?”

Now, all she had to do was bait the hook and wait. “When Atlas Command falls, all of Atlas will be thrown into disarray. If the government doesn’t collapse, it’ll come close enough that news will spread- and quickly. That sort of instability… I’m sure many people will become scared and confused. Times like that can become dark, quickly.”

Although she made an impressive show of keeping a neutral expression, Semper’s eyes lit up. Despair and confusion meant a host of negative emotions, and negative emotions meant Grimm in large numbers- just the sort of battle the Major favored. “That could be interesting for the five minutes it’ll take for me to clear out the Grimm.”

An overstatement of her abilities happened to be another quirk the woman possessed that Winter found herself grateful for now. “I can imagine but what interests me more is what will replace Atlas Command.” She made a vague motion with her hand. “People might be hard pressed to put their faith in the military after such a catastrophic event. They may even be inclined to turn back to something that hasn’t failed them in the past… like the old Hunter guilds.”

“That so?” Semper took a long drag on the cigarette before throwing aside, the smoke curling out of her mouth and dispersing. “I don’t suppose you’ll be trying to spearhead that initiative yourself, eh?”

“I have no interest in what happens to Atlas after the command structure is compromised.” Nodding towards the base, she did her best to keep a straight face through the lie. For all their faults, she could only hold the general population to the same amount of guilt she herself carried. If they sought redemption or amends, it wouldn’t be up to her whether or not they would be granted it, but she knew very well that it wasn’t Semper’s concern. The Major wouldn’t dare harm the people, lest she lose the audience she so badly wanted to impress. “I’ll collect my flagship and half the fleet of airships. What you do with the rest and whatever rabble you’ve accumulated who are inclined to your… ideas are none of my concern.”

Over the years, there were soldiers who requested to be stationed at the logistics base. She thought them insane but honestly needed a permanent party to keep things running smoothly so she didn’t question it; what they did aside from keeping her supply lines intact, she couldn’t be troubled with on top of everything else. A large part of her suspected they were of like minds, content with making each other’s lives hell so long as it drew Grimm to them, and enough reports trickled in to indicate they succeeded in many ways.

“So... “ She made a motion with her hand, another cigarette offered up and lit before she continued. “You’re proposing I assist you in launching a strike against Atlas Command- or, at least, do nothing to hinder you- and I’ll be free to reinstate Hunters as a legitimate profession? That right?”

“More or less.” She held up a finger. “A caveat I will include is that, whatever you might do, you keep it in Atlas. The other kingdoms of Remnant are not your playgrounds.”

Semper raised a brow at ‘kingdoms’ but didn’t object to the designation while taking a long drag on her cigarette. “A worldwide rebellion’s going to cause a lot of hurtin’, one way or another. That’s a lot of places Grimm might be heading.”

“I’m sure if anyone’s in need of your services, they’ll find a way of contacting you.”

Winter could tell she’d taken the bait, had bitten deep enough that the hook wouldn’t dislodge, but waited until she’d blown out a long stream of smoke before allowing herself to relax by the smallest amount. “Alright, Colonel. You’ve got yourself a deal.” Then she hiked a thumb behind her. “Now what are you going to do with these bastards?”

“I’ll worry about the soldiers here. You just concern yourself with those who are eager to fight Grimm.”

Semper smiled, and it looked just as much deadly as disconcerting. “Best news I’ve ever heard and probably the only order I’ve looked forward to following.” She turned. “I leave command to you, Colonel.”

“It’s Wolf now,” she said, feeling now to be the appropriate time to correct the Major. “I don’t serve Atlas anymore.”

“I never did, but you still called me ‘Major’,” she replied, turning around and heading into the base, making a vague motion over her shoulder. “We’re not soldiers anymore so, honestly, fuck it. Put the Sergeant in charge.”

Once certain Semper was out of earshot, she muttered under her breath. “I hate that woman.”

“That was impressive.” She turned her head to see the smile shining in silver eyes. “You played her like a fiddle.”

“I have my moments of brilliance.” Then she winced. “Of course, I’m quite certain my inattentiveness has caused more than a few of the problems here.” Then she shook her head to dislodge the thought. Right now, additional guilt would do her little good. “Semper’s been a thorn in my side for years but at least now I can have her plying her talents to someone else’s aggravation.”

“Ma’am? Er, Wolf?” She looked over to the Sergeant, who seemed to be wrestling with something. “What will happen to those of us outside of Atlas if you succeed?”

“Rose?” Ultimately, the decision didn’t fall to her. Frankly, she’d much prefer the option that led to the least amount of bloodshed, however that might work out.

“We’ve talked about it.” Although the mask obscured it, Winter had seen the woman’s expression enough to guess at the thoughtful frown on her lips just by the way her eyes tightened. “We’re not going to start an all out war- not yet, anyway, but we’re going to take our homes back. Mistral will be ours again. If any Atlesians don’t like it, they can go back to Atlas. Otherwise? In time, I think we could learn to coexist.”

The Sergeant didn’t look too comfortable with that answer. “In time?”

“Honestly, a lot of people are pretty angry with Atlas as a whole and Atlesians by extension. There’s probably going to be some push back, some lingering resentment. The scars that have been inflicted on us won’t heal overnight.” Then Rose looked at her for a moment. “But if we try, together, we can eventually bridge those gaps.”

“Rose is right. There’s a lot of damage to be undone before we can expect the sins of our pasts to wash clean,” Winter said, suspecting her opinion might carry a bit more weight. “For those who wish to stay, it will be worth it to listen to those we’ve harmed, however unintentional or indirect that harm might’ve been.”

The Sergeant nodded, though fear lingered in his eyes. “So… for now, I guess it’s load up in an airship and see what happens?”

“With Major Semper relinquishing her command, the next officer in line assumes the position, not me.” Her eyes narrowed as she tried to recall the name of who that might be. “I believe that’s Captain Wilder. Have him informed of the situation.” Then she turned towards Rose. “I believe moving Dragon’s forces into the base should be safe now. We’ll need to load up soon to make it to Atlas.”

“Right.” Silver eyes bounced between her and the base. “Are you sure…”

“I’ll be fine.” She reached out, putting a hand on the woman’s shoulder and offering a small smile. “They might not be the most appealing of allies but Semper won’t let anything delay us if it means she has a chance of realizing her little pet dream. She’s not the easiest person to work with but she’ll do whatever it takes to see her aims through.”

“None of this is comforting, just so you know.”

“I’m touched you’re worried about me but you shouldn’t.” Reaching up, she set her mask back in place. “Dawn is coming. We can’t delay for the sake of an argument.”

Rose huffed, turning her head away. “Send a summon if you get into trouble.” She nodded. “And be somewhere I can find you when I get back.”

“Of course,” she said, squeezing lightly before gently pushing the woman on her way. “Now go. If you delay much longer, they might think something’s wrong.” Although still reluctant, Winter watched Rose turn and leave, becoming nothing more than a blur of rose petals through the trees in the breaking light of dawn. Then, she turned her attention to the soldiers. “Now, Captain Wilder?”

“Uh, right.” The Sergeant nudged his counterpart again- who seemed rather used to the treatment- and hurried off to call for the Captain.

Ruby made it back to Blake and Yang in record time, wanting not a second wasted. She didn’t trust the Major in the slightest nor the soldiers under her command and leaving Winter in the midst of them made her stomach churn. It felt too much like abandoning an ally, a friend, family- like if she’d left Blake or Yang or Pyrrha or Ren behind in a snake pit. Could they handle it? Probably. Did she like it? Absolutely not.

“Welcome back, Rubes.” Her sister smirked, the expression audible despite being covered. “I’m guessing Wolf managed to talk her way in.”

“No thanks to us,” she replied, setting aside her frustration with Yang’s decision to let the woman go off alone aside for the moment. “We’re good to move into the base. Cat, go grab your airships; we’ll use the base’s docks to load supplies and people after going over the plan.”

“Really? You wanna do that before we start for Atlas?” Despite the question, her sister didn’t seem critical of the decision- merely curious.

“We might come across enemies in the air and there’s always a chance there won’t be time when we need it; we have to know what we’re fighting for before we leave for the battle,” she replied, then beckoned the woman closer. “And I need to talk to you.”

“Right. Cub, Tiger, come with me,” Blake said, recognizing the tone in her voice and opting to move as many people away from a ticked off Ruby as possible before the argument started.

Meanwhile, Yang sauntered over nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders. “Hey, she had a plan, who was I to stand in her way?”

“I wish you had that mentality when I had my plan.”

“That’s different; you’re my sister-”

“That doesn’t make her less important!” Frustration colored her tone, causing Pyrrha to step away and at least feign that she wasn’t listening to the conversation while directing Ren and Nora to lead the way for the others to follow. The three of them would catch up later. “One life doesn’t mean more than another, that’s why we’re doing this in the first place!”

“Look, I’ll buy that she’s genuinely on our side. I’ll even give it to her that she’s probably too hard on herself, all things considered. But don’t ask me to worry after her like I do for you.” Yang shook her head and waved a hand, her stubbornness rearing its head. “She hasn’t spent this whole time wondering how many friends she’s going to lose- friends who might not have done anything wrong, who were just trying to survive. She wants to gamble with her life? I’m not stopping her.” Her eyes flashed red beneath her mask. “You want to say she’s one of us? Let her feel like one of us. She could do with a bit of fear, of feeling like she’s alone in a world trying to kill her.”

Ruby’s hands balled into fists. On a rational level, she understood this was just displaced anger, a lifetime of fury finding a willing target who wouldn’t question it in the slightest. However, if her sister kept thinking like that, it would just cause more problems down the line, so she had to pull out all the stops. “So I guess when she abandoned her post, came to us with vital intelligence, fully knowing it would likely mean her own sister would call for her death- that doesn’t mean anything, huh? Not even her willingness to fight and possibly kill her own mother so we can succeed. That somehow doesn’t compare, because that’s something we’ve felt, too, right? With Raven? Mom?”

The woman drew back, obviously not expecting such a low blow. Yang’s feelings regarding both Raven and Summer were… complicated, to put it lightly, and they talked about it rarely because of how confused it made her sister. Throughout their lives, Yang never called Raven ‘mom’, because that was Summer, and Raven demanded more of Yang without really acknowledging their shared blood. She wasn’t a kind woman, not in the sense of freely given affection, and she could be harsh, especially towards Ruby… but she’d never think of fighting her. Even if she wasn’t good at being a mother, she did try on occasion, and that meant something to both of them.

“How we came to be here doesn’t matter,” she said, taking Yang’s silence as a sign she’d won some ground. “We’re here now, fighting on the same side. But if you’re going to keep holding her past against her, we’re going to defeat ourselves before we start.” Even though she felt more than a little annoyed with her sister at present, she still reached out and set a hand on her shoulder. “Everyone makes mistakes and, yeah, hers probably mean a lot of people died. That wasn’t her choice, though, and if we’re going to hold it against her that she didn’t break free of a brainwashed populace earlier in her life then we have to acknowledge what she’s sacrificed- what she will sacrifice, just to keep standing beside us. And how many times we did the same thing.”

She immediately turned her head, looking towards the rising sun just beginning to break over Mistral. Hopefully, its last sunrise as a territory under Atlas Command. “Okay, fine. I should’ve sent someone with her. I’m sorry.”

Ruby probably couldn’t ask for anything more. “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”

“Hey, she’s the one who wanted to run off in the first place. I trusted her to know her limits!” Her hands went up, a futile gesture of frustration. “Whatever. I won’t do it again, alright? Besides, it’s not like anything-”

The sounds of explosions and gunfire echoed out from the base, tongues of flames leaping up and over the walls and treetops.

“Uh… retract last statement, I guess.” Yang puffed out a breath. “Guess Wolf wasn’t able to get quite as clean an agreement as she wanted.”

“Or someone went back on her word.” She definitely shouldn’t have left Winter alone within the walls of that damned base. “Come on, we gotta move.”

“Don’t need to tell me twice,” her sister said, her gauntlets expanding a moment before she turned, grabbing Pyrrha’s hand and swinging her around, throwing her girlfriend into the air before launching herself after.

Meanwhile, Ruby flipped out Crescent Rose, giving herself a bit of a boost while petals trailed in her wake.

It looked like there’d be a bit of a fight after all.

Winter brushed dirt from the borrowed cloak, a frown twisting her lips. As accustomed as she’d become to being wrong about various things in the past week or so, she still didn’t like it, and she should’ve guessed the soldiers serving under Semper would have decidedly less patience for her in particular than those back at the central base. Naturally, quite a few would have an objection to the idea of standing idly by while a combat force mounted an assault on Atlas Command, and she expected the majority of those loyal to their homeland would remain silent for the time being out of fear of being outnumbered.

However, seeing as Semper actually wasn’t too keen on ensuring her subordinates kept their damned mouths shut for the time being, word had gotten out, and a few soldiers opted to try stopping the attack before it began. That meant a small hail of bullets and a few dust grenades headed her way, among other things.

Blue eyes scanned the area around her, taking note of the groaning and wounded fools who’d thought they could take her by surprise. Although she might’ve been resigned to her desk position, she could still fight, Terry’s criticisms notwithstanding. Only a few managed to slip through her defenses, mostly because it seemed more like a free-for-all where those who dared try and stop the resistance worked up the nerve to attack only when it seemed like they might actually win, forcing her to not attack the various bystanders until they showed aggressive action first.

She rather hated being on the back foot.

“Uh, C-colonel?” A man spoke up, looking around and the smoldering holes left by the explosions and the few summons she had still roaming around after using her would-be attackers as chew toys. “You want-wanted to see me?”

Turning, she lifted her saber until the point of her blade rested just beneath his chin. “First, I’m planning on aiding a revolution to bring down Atlas Command. Are you going to try and stop me?”

He swallowed hard. “N-no? Ma’am?”

“Good man.” Removing her sword, she set it back at her hip. “Now, I’m sure you’ve heard Major Semper will be departing with us on a mission of her own; that leaves you in charge of this base, Captain. You will be charged with protecting the soldiers here, as well as any civilians who come under your care.”

Confusion splayed across his expression, just beneath the fear as his eyes darted around to the wounded. “Protect them?”

“Yes.” She paused, trying to find the right words. “I realize that many will not understand what I’m doing here, Captain. All of us have lived our lives believing that Atlas Command has our best interests at heart. But I no longer believe that to be the case and I cannot stand idly by while innocent people are murdered for the benefit of a select few. That is not why I put on that uniform.”

He looked down, first at his own attire before taking in hers. “What will happen if you succeed?”

“Those who wish to remain loyal to Atlas will be sent back. Those who wish to build a new future, one where we treat each other with the respect each of us deserves, may remain here, though it will take time for us to find our place.” She turned her head, looking at the forest beyond the base, picturing the canyon that stood between the trees and the mountains in the distance. Mistral will be returned to those we stole it from, just as Vale and Vacuo will. Menagerie will become a proper kingdom. The face of Remnant will change.”

“And… this… this is what you think is right?” Change sparked fear in even the most hardened soldiers, because change brought with it the unknown.

Winter never feared the unknown; she saw it as a challenge to overcome, a test to see how much she could learn and what she could do with that knowledge. She sought answers when others preferred lies. “Yes.”

“But… why?” He looked so lost then, and she could see how the others who’d gathered and watched, who traded whispers and looked like they might intervene as well, seemed to all pay close attention to her answer.

She squared her shoulders and looked him dead in the eye. “Atlas Command charged me with leading an extermination force to murder every single last person in Menagerie. Genocide, Captain, and to quote a man smarter than I, I’ve grown rather tired of everyone else being ‘other’, and ‘other’ being code for ‘lesser’. I’ll not become a mass murderer.”

“But you’ll wage a war against Atlas Command?” Someone called out, and she looked around but found no one would meet her gaze.

“You truly believe they compare?” Winter raised her voice so everyone could hear- so they would hear, whether they wanted to or not. “You, soldiers of Atlas, who proclaim to be willing to lay down your lives to defend her, would balk at the idea of someone actually taking you up on the offer? If you do not believe in what you’re doing enough to put your own lives on the line, as you have sworn to do, perhaps you should re-examine your motives and your conscience, if you possess one.” Her frown worsened. “Children, unarmed civilians, effective slaves- murdering them in cold blood is a world away from meeting an opposing force on the field of battle. To call them the same proves that you’ve blinded yourself to the horrors we’ve committed with our own hands. If I were to strike you down now, simply because I could, would that be fair? Would it be right? Would it be just?” No one met her gaze, because judging by the insignias on their shoulders and lapels, she very well could do exactly that, and face no repercussions for her actions, and while they might secretly curse their lot in life, they would never voice that displeasure out of fear. From the corner of her eye, she spotted Rose appearing in a flutter of petals, her cloak whipping about her, but this remained something she had to do herself. For as compelling as the woman could be, Winter realized that the soldiers around her still held her in some regard, and her voice would carry farther for that fact alone. “I will not have innocent blood on my hands again. I will join the march on Atlas Command and hold them accountable for the suffering they’ve caused and I will destroy any who seek to protect them, to defend them, to assert that Atlas, as conquerors and traitors to their own allies, to their own people, hold any greater right over the world than those from whom they stole it away.” She paused, long enough to pick up on the faint shouts, the rhythm of boots running through the forest, of Dragon’s voice rallying the resistance into a potential assault. They likely took the little… disagreement earlier as signs of trouble. “You can fear the truth all you wish; that won’t change it. We’ve done terrible things in the name of Atlas and we’ve justified them in whatever way helped us sleep at night. I did, too, but I’ve since come to see the world not as Atlas Command wishes it to be, but how it is. We are monsters of our own design, and, if that is all I can be, I will turn on those who made me what I am. They deserve no better fate for daring to proclaim themselves better than others. If it were even the slightest bit true, then they’d have nothing to fear; the truth is, we’re all the same yet different. And no one is above or below anyone else.”

Silence prevailed among the soldiers, gradually impeded upon as the resistance arrived, all ready to join a battle that hadn’t occurred. Or, rather, hoping for one they could actually fight, for a war did wage within every soldier standing in the yard just then. However, it wasn’t the physical sort.

“Ma’am?” She turned towards Captain Wilder and nodded, bidding him to speak. It took him a moment before he found the words and fear threaded through them, plain as the day breaking. “Atlas is my home. I don’t- I- what happens to Mistral isn’t-”

“Then I suggest you return,” she said, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder. “And stay out of our way. When Atlas Command falls, it’ll be up to people like you to rebuild her into a kingdom worthy of serving.” Very deliberately, she put a hand on her sword. “Though I caution you to remember that, once liberated, the kingdoms of Remnant will never bow to Atlas again. The future is one of cooperation, seeing each other as equals, and nothing less.”

He nodded, taking a step back, and in what little she could glean from the soldiers crowded into the yard, many would follow the Captain rather than Semper or her. A few looked disgruntled, displeased with the charges she’d laid out, but they hid their emotions as best they could as a few seemed to sneak glances at the Faunus who’d gathered, hope shining in a few faces while others obviously remained skeptical.

She didn’t expect to take any of these soldiers with them against Atlas; upon revealing her allegiance, she’d frankly anticipated some resistance, but nothing that would impede their departure. With communication restored to the bases around Mistral, though, there stood a chance they’d return to a kingdom under siege by the Atlesian forces that remained.

Winter swallowed past the lump in her throat as she realized she may have already lied. More innocent blood might very well be on her hands in the near future.

“Ma’am?” She turned her head, noting the soldier who approached and faltered, unable to tell if he should salute or not before opting against it. At any other time, she might’ve considered it a slight, but now she could see something akin to respect- confused, admittedly, but sincere all the same- as he continued. “Major Thorn would like to speak with you.”

“Very well.” With a nod, she turned to follow him, but found her arm caught by Rose.

“You’re not a monster.” Silver eyes flashed, demanding she brook no argument. “But if the things you’ve done in the past make you a monster, the things you’re doing now make you a hero.”

The corners of her mouth tugged, almost a smile. “I hope I can believe that one day.”

Somehow, she felt like Ruby took that as a challenge. “Hurry back, Wolf of Mistral. We don’t have much time.”

She nodded before turning away, and then a small grin did claim her lips.

Wolf of Mistral. She rather liked the sound of that.

[holydragon2808]

Thoughts on The Legend of Korra: Turf Wars (Part One)

Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything original on my blog about The Legend of Korra (or just anything original period). I’ve reblogged several Avatar related posts and art (as well as things from other fandoms), but I haven’t posted hardly anything myself since the Book 4 finale! I’ll just take a moment to wave hello to anyone still following this blog and my fellow Avatar buddies (Waves enthusiastically!). S’up Peeps! OH and if you’ve yet to read the Comic, don’t read any further than this because SPOILERS! I’m pretty sure most in the fandom have read them but just in case.

 I’m a bit late to the party I know, but I wanted to get my thoughts together before I posted anything. I have to say that I was really happy with this comic book overall. They’re off to a fantastic and engaging start with this story. With the ATLA comics I felt like those were just side stories or expansions. Interesting side stories/expansions granted, but really not just vital to anything (just IMO). ATLA concluded pretty soundly overall in its own right. With Turf Wars taking place immediately after the last scene with Korra and Asami walking into the spirit portal (and TLoK having far more loose plot ends to tie up than ATLA in general), this actually didn’t feel like just a comic book. It felt like it could have been a real animated episode. They seriously could have added “Book Five” to the title and gotten away with it.

Korra and Asami’s little getaway was exactly like I was hoping for with the two of them having a good time after everything they’ve both been through. From their friendly competitions and playful ribbing at each other, to their first shared kiss (Korrasami shippers squeal lol) to the two of them confiding in each other on exactly when and how they both realized they loved the other, and so on. That Spirit Mountain or whatever he was acted kind of bitchy though. It’s okay though Korra. In your own words about the Dragon Bird spirit “ I think it can sense where I am. Not EVERY spirit hates me” lol.

 Anyway, thanks to the grumpy mountain, Korra and Asami are forced to cut their vacation short and return to Republic City because they lost their supplies in all the chaos. Before that though, Korra wants to take a trip to the South Pole via the Southern Spirit Portal to visit her parents and tell them about their official romantic relationship and their “sounds fun” lol vacation. Asami has a few reservations about all of that but Korra is just too excited to really pay attention at the moment. So Korra and Asami “come out” to Tonraq and Senna. They’re surprised at the unexpected news (from their perspective) at first, but then were all “Yay! That’s cool! I’m so happy for you both! We couldn’t be more proud!” etc., which is pretty much how the fandom expected them to take it so no real surprise there.

 I do like that after the argument that took place between Korra and her parents, once Asami pointed out a different perspective on the matter (and provided a better understanding for Korra on what exactly Tonraq and Senna were really trying to get at), Korra was immediately able to step back, admit she was wrong to not take Asami’s feelings into consideration (and admit that Tonraq was right about her overly excitable nature leading to rash outbursts at times) and apologize, a FAR CRY from her Book 1 and Book 2 (pre Avatar Wan) days when she had difficulty accepting criticism/other perspectives until she was neck deep in trouble.

 I’m hoping we see more of both the positives and negatives of Korra’s overly excitable, openly passionate nature paired with Asami’s more reserved, patient and logical one in the future (as well as Tonraq and Senna making more appearances and Korra getting the chance to reconcile with them) and how they will work through it overall. Notably, Korra doesn’t just rush off to tell anyone else either without making sure she and Asami both are on the same page about it. They sort of well….”out” themselves to their friends near the end but more on that later lol.

Anyway, the minute our favorite couple steps out of the new spirit portal in the middle of Republic City, the world wastes no time reminding both of them (as well as the audience) of their responsibilities as well as the devastation Kuvira’s attack on Republic City had on the populace. Then this greedy guy named Wonyong Kuem is trying to seize his property back from the spirits. He may be technically right LEGALLY but at this point, he’s hardly the only one who’s life has been uprooted by the unexpected new spirit portal and he’s hardly the only one who’s lost property because of it so he just comes across as a greedy sleazebag (which was basically intentional so yeah lol).

Not to mention that while I do agree that the Spirit World in general should be more welcoming of humans (Heck, before Kuvira’s attack the citizens of Republic City, with Future Industries leadership, completely redesigned the city’s infrastructure just to accommodate the spirits better and welcome them. None of them have done the same for their own world nor did they bother to help with the Kuvira crisis either), a tourist attraction with people like Kuem is not the best way to go about it…Good on Avatar Korra for showing this guy who’s boss, though as she and the Airbenders suspect, he’ll probably be back.  His type always comes back….

It also was somewhat satisfying that the spirits are getting some well-deserved karma thrown back at them. They hate the spirit portal and try to urge Korra to close it but she’s quick to point out that had they helped out with Kuvira to begin with, the spirit portal may not exist right now. They realize that they can’t make her close the portal so in Korra’s own words, they’re just going to have to “deal with it”. Korra seems to believe from the bottom of her heart that Spirits and Humans can one day live together in harmony and she’s willing to stand her ground. I’m hoping the Spirits in general will one day stop looking down on humans on principle and put more effort into making both worlds a place where they can all belong or at the very least be civil. Turf wars (in the plural) indeed….

Meanwhile, even more trouble is brewing on the horizon with the Triple Threat Triads, The Creeping Crystals, the Agni Kais, and every other Republic City gang is on the rise with the Triple Threats gaining ground as we’re introduced to the main antagonist for this trilogy: Tokuga. Let me just say that this guy can seriously throw down (Hooked swords make a reappearance in addition to chi blocking) and is an awesome (but somewhat frightening) reminder that a person does not have to be a bender in this world to be a ruthless and cutthroat badass. I’m glad that the antagonist in question isn’t another bender. Nothing against them (we’ve had some good ones from both series) but it’s just great to finally break the mold here in a way that works. The Triple Threats finally getting a serious chance to shine and show just how badass they can be is a welcome plus as well. Two-Toed Ping is worried about his life being in serious jeopardy just for name-dropping Tokuga during Mako and Lin’s interrogation.

Speaking of the police force, I’m happy that Bolin joined along with his brother. It gives the police force some serious raw power at their disposal with Bolin being a Lavabender and it gives him a chance to truly shine without all the drama of his previous job with Kuvira (and shows he’s earned back his good will with his friends and family). Nice to see the bending brothers back together again. Loved both of the brothers’ interactions with Two-Toed Ping as they were taking him back to the station. Ping is genuinely proud of both of them for making something of themselves. Bolin being Bolin thanks him in stride while Mako just tells him to shut it lol. Good to know some things never change.

Back at the refugee camp we get yet more evidence of the sheer devastation Kuvira’s weapon (and Team Avatar’s attempts to stop it) having irreparable damage on the city and leaving hundreds of people homeless. About the only humorous thing taken from all of this is that President Raiko’s approval rating is -3. That’s too funny! I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m SO voting for either Poki or Zhu Li (or both they should team up!) for the next president lol. Just think of what they could do for the city! Gotta love Raiko’s new campaign slogan “Vote Raiko! He’ll wallop tyranny with a knockout blow! (I’m like Korra….wut? lol). But credit where it’s due. At least even he admits to his campaign manager that the slogan is ridiculous lol. He’s still pretty incompetent though. When you’re required an explanation on how  rebuilding homes for the populace would restore your own good will to the common folk after they’ve been rendered homeless…yeah…he’s more concerned with keeping his job rather than actually doing it….I’m seriously hoping for Poki. Zhu Li for a more practical candidate but Poki’s good too. Meelo can be the advisor. Republic City would either have absolutely NOTHING to worry about with this trio in charge, or EVERYTHING to worry about with this trio in charge. There would be NO middle ground whatsoever lol.

It’s also nice to see that despite their newfound hardships, the refugees aren’t blaming Korra for everything this time like during the beginning of book 3. They’re grateful to be alive and know it’s all thanks to Korra and her friends and they’re happy to see her again. She offers to help the displaced refugees in any way that she can and quickly begins to find herself overwhelmed. Just when it seems like she’ll be forced to leave (and they begin to riot or something), she doesn’t want to leave as Tenzin suggests. I’m going to post what she tells the refugees because there’s no way I can say it better and it deserves recognition in its own right:

Everyone! Please Listen! I feel for all of you. You’ve all been through so much and I’m sure you’re all tired, frustrated, and angry that you’re homes and neighborhoods have been destroyed. This is a time for great change for all of us in Republic City! But a wise man once told me that change could be good or bad depending on your point of view. So maybe we could all look at this as a chance for a new beginning.

I promise to work my hardest to make sure everyone has a place to live soon. My hope is that the rebuilt Republic City will be full of new possibilities for all of us. Together, we can forge a bright future, living in balance with our planet, evolving into our best selves, and becoming who we truly want to be!

Cue the audience cheering for her and the future.

This girl….no. This young woman…I just can’t right now. As I said before, she truly believes in this vision of unity and balance between humans and spirits with all her heart and soul and she is willing to work and fight for it. We saw shades of this Avatar Korra in the book 2 finale when she gave the speech about the Southern Water Tribe being independent and forging a new path for the future. But to see her now after the hell she was subjected to in the book 3 finale and 3/4s of book four…Avatar Korra has come a long way indeed both with her own struggles and being able to truly inspire people. And we get to see that here with her words spoken with an eloquence we haven’t heard in over two seasons. Just beautiful and Tenzin’s expression as if he’s holding back tears just seals the deal. Couldn’t be more proud of her.

Anyway, after the refugee camp visit, Korra and Asami are back on Air Temple Island standing in a very familiar gazebo admiring the sunset. Kya’s “officially” out as a lesbian in the actual universe (rather than just Word of God) but of course we already knew that. It’s also nice to note that a few characters in the canon suspected Korra and Asami had feeling for each other either before the vacation or shortly after. Good to know that they’ll have an older confidante. Kya also gives us more insight on how homosexuality is viewed by the Avatarverse at large with the official canon more or less matching up with a lot of fandom speculations before the reveal. The Air nomads didn’t/don’t give a shit (which well, duh element of freedom and all), the Fire Nation didn’t care all that much either until Sozin came along and outlawed same sex pairings. Guess we can add that to his jerkbender list….The Water Tribes don’t disown people for it but are private about family matters in general. Interestingly enough, it’s the Earth Kingdom that’s the most openly against it though maybe things are a bit different now than in Avatar Kyoshi’s time who was revealed to be bisexual and couldn’t really change things on that front. I think Kya said it best regarding Korrasami, it’s ultimately their story and they’ll know when the time will come to spread the news.

Speaking of spreading the news, Mako and Bolin come by to visit them. The core Team Avatar is back together! Korra and Bolin hug a bit while Mako and Asami hug (the Borra shipper in me squealed a bit lol. Those two always had an easy friendship. More Borra friendship moments please lol). However, this time Korra asks Asami if she’s ready to tell the boys (to not have another situation like what went down with Korra’s parents and not taking Asami’s feelings into consideration), showing that Korra does indeed learn from her mistakes. Just when they’re getting ready to tell them Jinora interrupts via astral projection because the Triple Threat Triads are threatening the new spirit portal (Dammit Jinora! Dammit Triple Threats I wanted to see the boys’ reaction (particularly Mako’s) was my initial reaction).

But I instantly forgave it with seeing Team Avatar’s first confrontation with Tokuga (as well as seeing how Korra and Asami out themselves to their friends anyway but again, more on that later lol). Ghazan’s signature Lava Shuriken makes an appearance! Well done Bolin! It was awesome to see this move return, but even more awesome and heartwarming was that this truly being the moment where Mako accepts Bolin as an equal partner rather than just his kid brother he feels he has to watch out for.

Things really get crazy when the spirits show up and start attacking people because apparently Korra and her friends weren’t doing a well enough job protecting the portal. Korra tries her best to reason with the stubborn (serpent, snake?) spirit but before she can gain any ground with that, Asami is overwhelmed by a group of benders and Korra immediately rushes to her rescue. Though, by choosing to aid Asami, the wrathful snake spirit goes after Tokuga and gives the audience a rather frightening call back to the Avatar Wan episodes.  Spirits can enter a human body and reshape their anatomy to where they take on physical attributes of the spirit in question. We saw that twice in the Avatar Wan episodes (with Yao and that unlucky hunter). This spirit really screws over Tokuga but it’s not like he didn’t have it coming. Though needless to say, Korra (understandably) choosing to aid Asami and not being able to stop that spirit from turning Tokuga into a mutated freak is probably going to come back to bite her in the ass. The Triple Threats end up retreating afterwards and Korra checks on Asami and they share yet another kiss but this time in front of their friends. They all reacted pretty much how I expected. Bolin being happy about getting his “gossip” fill (and calling for double dates already lol), Opal and Jinora being supportive and Mako being a bit awkwardly out of sorts with it but not against it. Don’t worry Mako. You’ll find your special someone someday. (I’m hoping we get more comics after Turf Wars. Would like to see him paired with the Fire Lord’s daughter as originally intended as well as seeing the Fire Nation and the fractured Earth Kingdom).

Anyway, apparently the Triple Threats and Keum (again his type always come back) were working together. The latter was trying to reclaim his land by getting the Triple Threats to intimidate the Airbenders to leave. Tokuga is rightfully pissed about what happened to him and takes over Keum Enterprises as retribution. Mutated or no, this guy is not one to be tried. Looking forward to seeing where all the plot threads will meet.

Overall, I’d say Mike and the rest of the team here are off to a great start with this comic. Korrasami is prevalent, but without pulling focus from the main threat/plot (THANK YOU). They clearly learned from the Book 1 and 2 days. Everything seems to be tying together and paced rather evenly and everyone is in character. Korra is depicted as the inspirational Avatar she was born to be if still a bit impulsive at times, Asami is the calming, rational presence in their relationship and out, Bolin is still the loveable goofball (but badass Lavabender), and Mako is still the socially awkward but competent cop (even with a bunk arm right now) and so on. The artwork is incredible to me. Irene Koh outdid herself IMO. The vibrant colors, the characters, (the spirit world pages were some of my favorites), it really does feel like a legitimate continuation on exactly where the show left off. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m looking forward to part two.

[sasukeuchiha-eternalmangekyou]

Sureen limited herself to letting him talk - sensing that this wasn't something Sasuke had ever really put into words before. Her eyes remained trained to the ground, focusing the iridescent dewdrops which were adorning the blades of grass like pearls.

And while Sasuke was slowly cleaving a way through the muddled, convoluted memories and emotions connected with his brother, Sureen didn't dare interrupt him, afraid it would make him lose his thread. "I'm sorry I made you go back there," she eventually stepped in. "I-I know it… it hurts, to put it nicely. Reliving the same situation over and over, I mean. But then again… I think there's no way to deal with it that would NOT hurt. But - huh?! Oh… oops~"

Sureen suddenly paused, feeling something move right next to her. Her eyes widened in shock as she noticed that she must have placed her hand on Sasuke's arm at some point. She could only guess how long she'd been like that when the other deliberately pulled back from her touch. So she hurried to pull her hand back as well, bashfully looking the other way and crossing both arms in front of her chest. As the moment of shock slowly subsided, Sureen continued, albeit with a low voice, little more than a whisper. "B-but you know… it needs to hurt. It's allowed to hurt. It's a thing that needs time and space… and a way to get out of your system, 'cause otherwise it's nothing but an endless, self-destructive circle. But once you find methods to interrupt the circle for a bit… sooner or later it becomes less unbearable and less… less hopeless. Like its impact begins to shrink, like… like there's land in sight. Well, or maybe that's just me, maybe it wouldn't work like that for anyone else.

"Either way, it really takes a LOT of time and space though. And simultaneously, it takes you to the very edge of your resilience and even beyond. I'm not sure if anyone could actually just hang in there and wait it out until it begins to get bearable. But I know it's definitely not something anyone could do alone. And I know that it's… very obvious and very human… to try and find different, more familiar ways to stop the pain. Like trying to kill yourself or kill everyone responsible, you know." A brief sarcastic chuckle escaped her, and she couldn't help but cast the ninja a telling glance.   "I guess it's boiling down to who we really are, indeed. But after all, my plan to stop the pain like that didn't work… so I ended up with the 'wait it out' version. Involuntarily. Nevertheless I managed to hang in there long enough to get over the worst bit. But that was because… at that point I wasn't alone anymore, I guess." As Sasuke took another break after telling her that his life had taught him happiness was simply out of reach for him, yet he couldn't stop wondering whether his chosen route was worth giving up everything else, Sureen took her chance to reply once more. "Yeah… happiness is a rather fragile, unpredictable thing. But at least those moments when you question everything… as painful as they may be… but at least they prove that you're not just darkness and hatred and revenge. Your real self is way more than that. You know that, right?" Again, she turned towards him and placed her hand on his arm - the former with more assertiveness, the latter on purpose now. This time it was Sasuke who looked the other way. "Well… at least I know. And the good thing is - trust me, your real self is pretty indestructible." With every word, her voice gained enthusiasm. Her hands started gesturing, and her eyes began to shine as she sensed the opportunity to finally let him know what she'd felt ever since their first encounter.

"Which means this is not a one-way-ticket! You can commit yourself to your chosen path all you want, with all your determination, with everything you've got, but your real self still won't vanish. It will hide in the farthest corner so you can't see it anymore, but in fact, it's - ugh. Yeah. Whatever. You don't want to hear a single word I'm saying, right," she suddenly cut herself off and dropped her hands as the waves of Sasuke's disagreement hit her.

"Sorry. I… I wasn't trying to talk you out of it or anything," she explained sheepishly, realizing she'd stepped on dangerous ground. If he wouldn't tolerate one thing it was people trying to convince him how "misguided" he was. "It's just… it's what I see whenever I look at you. That there's more to you," she added, her voice once again reduced to a whisper. He didn't reply. Instead, he started talking about Sureen, about her secret ability that wasn't so secret anymore by now. "Sometimes I think the only burden about it is that it's never mutual. That I'm the only one. I'm wondering if the world would actually be a better place… if everyone had that ability. Or, like, perhaps not a better place, but definitely a more honest one. With less lies, less misunderstandings. Deeper connections. More insight. Well… anyway. Not like we'll ever find out, huh…" she mused, shrugging her shoulders. "Um... but regarding my decision to either stay or leave. I thought about it a lot while I was on my way here, considering all the rumors I'd heard about you." With a sigh, Sureen brought herself back to the here and now, reluctant to disclose the truth.

"I… I can't stay. The obvious explanation would be - I'm not a ninja, I don't have any skills that would be useful for your mission, that could contribute to its implementation. But, in fact, I can't because… as much as your plans serve to save your sanity, Sasuke… they'd sure as hell make me lose mine. "Although it's almost 10 years by now - that they died, I mean - the last thing I could ever do in my life is... t-to help somebody destroy a village. N-no way. Just… no."

The torrent of wind twisted its invisible sway into the miles of forest beyond the coast, winding a misguided lurch of energy into the foliage before dying down. The sea breeze was less forgiving, hauling the spray of salt into the air. Waves silently crashed onto the sand, an almost motionless action as it disappeared into an engulfing abyss, only to be thrown forward once more.

“Space is what I initially needed, but all it made me realize was the cycle of repeat my left was circling me with back when I was in Konoha. Every day felt inclined to bring more sadness into my already unbearable anger I felt towards Itachi. But all those emotions existed due to a lie, the depths of an unfathomable reality I almost wish wasn’t real. He purposely gave me an outlet when I really only needed…” He paused, feeling his grief become heavier, aggressively pushing down on his chest with an intolerable amount of pain. “I needed him. Not this. I never asked for revenge. It’s what I decided to survive. Otherwise I would’ve given up a long time ago. Falling into sorrow is easier than holding onto a piece of choice. It took more out of me than most cared to realize.”

Sasuke nodded when reaching her glance, her eyes forever searching, always siphoning against any will of her own. He knew only what Sureen expressed in word pertaining to her past and it wasn’t too dissimilar to his own. But even a fragment of change can cause an avalanche of lost comprehension. No amount of strained voices could convince him understanding was a two way street. It lacked substance and accuracy when on the outside.

“Familiarity is a form of defense I’ll gladly take to my grave. Waiting for pain to subside or diminish may work for some, even be the only possibility, and in a way it’s a method of surrender when you can’t take anymore. At the same time, it’s not a weakness if it helps. In your case, it seemingly did. It must have taken a resilient amount of strength, but you’re standing outside the shadow of your past. I can clearly see that. Even if it manages to haunt you, it doesn’t define you. Unfortunately, I haven’t reached such an inward conclusion when weighing my vengeance. The complication leads to more contradiction if I cross my goals with my brother’s objective in all this. But I’m not like him. Our worlds were entirely different, unalike in many unforeseen ways.”

He allowed her arm to remain the second time, since she seemed to be finding her voice rather than stumbling through words of indecision to ease him. Her whispered tone, one carefully placed in order to create an unhostile conversation was an effective one. It maintained a calm most refused to use when pounding their ideology into his refutes.

“Happiness can be an illusion set in the mold of any structured lie. As I’ve said, I used to believe in it. My real self might reach beyond the border of darkness, but my mind isn’t as easily swayed as my heart,” he continued when she finished. “Regardless of all those memories or what I was told to be reality, it’s still there, dodging the light. My demons aren’t fully known to lack cruel reminders.”

It might be broken or flawed but his moral compass never held much virtue. When he was a child, striving in the simplicity of a happy life with family, he never anticipated the question of morality. He was too young to think outside the realm of discovery, of proving himself, and even of what the future could hold. But those confines soon shattered, revealing a cold mirror of reflective despair.

Sasuke exhaled, eyes being drawn back. “I know you weren’t trying to talk me out of anything. Trust me, I’ve listened to my fair share from people who try and continue to do so. But unlike you, they don’t comprehend the distance factor when it comes to aiming to locate a sense of clarity, whether I find a negative or positive one. All they want is to return me to a place where I no longer belong.”

It was hard to believe there was anything more to a shallow, soulless being such as himself. The darkness took its fair share of humanity from him. He willingly held tightly onto his reasons, but nothing beyond them. Sasuke’s love and devotion towards Itachi was buried under what he believed to be true. As it was gradually brought back to the surface, it stung.

“If everyone had your ability I think it’d be rather chaotic,” he added with a shrug. “If you consider the scope of your abilities, connections and insight are sure to be given, but in return no one would feel free to their secrets or able to maintain a stable way of growth, fight their inner struggles. Not everyone needs a guiding hand or someone else to pull them through self-discovery. But I can understand. You’re different and that makes it lonely.”

Starved of affection and closeness, what most define as care, it’s the price of being unique. It’s not asked for and doesn’t equate to the trail of living, but it’s there all the same. Being an Uchiha, he’s known the aspect of being overlooked as well as having all eyes preying on his movements.

Sasuke exhaled, the need of distraction tugging at the seams of his mind. It unraveled with precision, ribbons of agony scattered and discarded from the prior night of discussion. In the wake of a new dawn, the particulars could be looked at more clearly, with less aggravation swimming through his veins. He was set. Nothing could alter his decision.

“I expected your answer. I wouldn’t want to drag anyone down with me that wasn’t willing. I still have Taka on my side and they agreed to help me regardless of my shifting objective. I wouldn’t want you to lose your sanity over something so trivial as my own.”

[particlecounting]

Is the Molekule air purifier really better than those already on the market? Review

Over this last Christmas, I was at home on the couch, and my dad asked me if I’ve seen this new Molekule air purifier he saw an ad review for.

    He asked not because he’s interested in purifiers, not because I’m some PhD in fluid mechanics (I’m a cultural psychologist, not a physicist), but because I’ve been building and testing DIY air purifiers ever since a Beijing airpocalypse in 2013 had me coughing for weeks.

Here’s one of the more “beautiful” machines I built and tested:

    Why would a psychologist spend four years building and testing purifiers? Because the air outside my Beijing apartment was “beyond index”…

    …and the view in my online shopping cart looked like this.

    I was scared, and these companies were saying that clean air costs $500 or $1,000. Soon I found I could make my own purifier for about $30 (see the full data on how it effectively reduced even tiny PM2.5 particles in my room!)

  The lesson I’ve been learning throughout my testing is that big purifier companies actually love smoke. That smoke comes in the form of claims that we need filters imported from Switzerland (learn more about that ‘fancy’ Swiss company I’m talking about here), not because they’re high profit margin, but because the technology is better.

    That’s the backdrop that was in my mind as my dad handed me his iPad, and I clicked on the Molekule air purifier ad. So let me review the claims:

  Molekule Air Purifier Claim #1

Immediately, I saw this claim.

    These guys are so technologically advanced they haven’t read the Wikipedia page about HEPA filters. If they had, they would’ve learned that HEPA filters are actually fantastic at capturing particles under 0.3 microns.

    See, the problem is our intuition is to think of HEPA filters like a net. If a particle is smaller than the holes in the net, it gets through. So the smaller the particle, the harder it is to capture. Makes sense.

    That logic works for objects as big as marbles. But when we get to really small particles—like particles under 0.3 microns—things start getting weird. Particles that small have so little mass that they actually get bounced around like a pinball when they hit gas molecules (known as Brownian Motion). So they move in random zigzag patterns.

    Why that matters is that tiny particles are small enough to fit through HEPA filters—if they flew straight. But because they fly in zigzag patterns, they end up hitting the fibers and getting stuck.

OK, that’s a lot of theoretical explanation. Is there any test evidence for this? There’s lots! One test I like is this thesis on duct filters (never thought I’d say that about a thesis on duct filters).

  That’s the percentage of particles the filters captured at different sizes. See how the effectiveness goes down, but then starts to go up again? That’s below 0.3 microns—the particles Molekule claims that regular purifiers can’t get.

By the way, this study was on furnace filters, which are lower grade than HEPA filters. But the principle works for any fiber filter. It works for the HEPA filters that are in purifiers (see this guy’s tests down to .01 microns) and even masks (I describe mask tests down to .007 microns here). That means you don’t even need a fancy HEPA filter for Brownian motion to work its magic.

So why is Molekule claiming HEPA filters can’t capture any particles below 0.3 microns?

  Either they don’t know this basic fact about purifiers (in which case, I’m highly skeptical of their claims of being experts), or they’re straight up lying about purifiers to sell you a more expensive one (in which case, I don’t trust them).

Bottom line: Their claim to superiority about particle sizes is false.

  Molekule Air Purifier Claim #2

Their second big claim is about bacteria. They claim that bacteria will grow on regular HEPA filters and then get released back into the air, so you need their Molekule technology to kill that bacteria.

I’ve used HEPA filters in my Chinese apartments for years. I’ve also shipped 40,000 of these low-cost DIY purifiers to people all over China and India through my social enterprise Smart Air.

    That includes lots of people in hot and humid Shanghai and Shenzhen, not to mention basically all of India (which qualifies as hot and mostly humid). I’ve never once seen or heard of mold or bacteria growing on these HEPA filters. That’s despite the fact that I had a mold problem in my Beijing apartment before I started using purifiers.

Bottom line: Is it theoretically possible for bacteria to grow on a HEPA? I suppose so. But even in these extreme environments, I’ve seen absolutely zero evidence that it actually happens. If it were a problem, I don’t see why airplanes and hospitals use HEPA filters to trap bacteria.

  Molekule Air Purifier Claim #3

Molekule says HEPA filters can’t capture viruses because they’re too small. But the Molekule air purifier can!

  This gets back to point #1. HEPA filters (and really most filters) are great at capturing viruses.

    Viruses are solidly in the range of very, very high efficiency for HEPA filters and even masks.

    Molekule Air Purifier Claim #4

About allergens, Molekule says HEPA filters “only traps larger allergens” and then releases them back into the air anyway.

    We’ve seen the claim about small particles before, so we know that’s wrong. But what about releasing them back into the air?

I’ve seen people worry about this, but I’ve never seen any evidence for it. And in the tests I’ve done, all I find is evidence of the opposite. Let’s take this 200-day test longevity test. See, I wanted to know how long a HEPA filter would last on my DIY in real Beijing air. So my Smart Air co-founder Gus tested it everyday in his Beijing bedroom for 200 days.

Here’s what a regular test day looked like. There’s particulate in Gus’s bedroom (red line) and outside (blue line).

    Here are 10-day averages all the way out to 200 days (all original data available here).

    Even out to day 200, the HEPA filter was managing 50% reductions in room particulate. At no point was the HEPA filter making room air worse.

That’s just not how filters work. They capture particles. They don’t release them. Unless you’re shaking them or cutting them open, they’re not going to release those particles back into the air.

  Molekule Air Purifier Claim #5

There is one claim that strikes me as “could be true.” It’s their claim that the machine “destroys” chemical gases known as volatile organic compounds (VOCs). That includes stuff like formaldehyde and toluene, which come out of products that we buy, like carpeting.

    They’re right that HEPA filters don’t capture gas pollutants. HEPAs are for particles, not gases. They’re weirdly claiming that carbon is only effective for 80 minutes. That must be an incredibly tiny carbon filter. It doesn’t match my tests with the carbon filters on regular purifiers.

But does their machine actually “destroy” VOCs? Maybe it does! If so, that would be the only actual selling point of this machine. Unfortunately, they don’t explain what the filter is (beyond using fancy-sound terms like “nano”), and they don’t provide any data with enough detail that I could assess it.

Bottom line: The Molekule might be better at capturing VOCs, but they do not provide convincing evidence for it. The other information on their site is so bad that it makes me skeptical of this claim.

  So what’s an air breather to do?

I’ve been nerding out on purifiers ever since that 2013 Beijing airpocalypse. If I can sum up all of my testing into one message, it’d be this:

Air purifiers are shockingly simple. They’re a fan and a filter. Cheaper purifiers perform just as well—and often outperform—the ridiculously expensive machines.

So brush aside marketing claims, beautiful Nordic families living in all-white homes, and keep your money.

    Instead, check out any one of several sources of independent purifier tests and choose the best combination of effectiveness and price. I outline several sources of tests here:

What is the best air purifier on the market today?

Breathe safe!

P.S. I’ve ranted for too long about Molekule’s claims, but please indulge me the claim at the top of their homepage.

    Finally a purifier “that actually works.” Click on the link above to see dozens of purifiers that cost far less and “actually work.”

  View the original article on Quora here.

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[the-pgpc-blog]

My 2017 NFL Mock Draft

CLEVELAND BROWNS - EDGE MYLES GARRETT, TEXAS A&M This selection shouldn’t require explanation, and yet it does. To me, there’s frankly no way the Browns are seriously considering UNC QB Mitchell Trubisky at #1. Given that they own the 12th overall selection and a ton of other draft ammo, they could easily move up from that if they deemed that a QB was worth it. Garrett is this draft’s star, the most uniquely good player eligible this year. His athleticism and ability to utilize it reminds evaluators of Julius Peppers. He’s one of the only game changers in this draft and the Browns -- almost entirely devoid of any talent on either side of the ball -- would be remiss to skip out on the kind of blue chip he offers. I wrote this well before talk became super serious this morning and I am sticking to it. I would be legitimately surprised if the Browns took Trubisky tonight.

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS - EDGE SOLOMON THOMAS, STANFORD To many, including me, this seems like a “default” kind of selection. The Niners seem to be the most prime candidate for a trade down; however, the price to trade up to #2 is likely too steep for any team that may be willing to do so. Faced with using this pick as almost a necessity, the 49ers should use it on a prospect with an ability to impact the team instantly, and Thomas is the closest thing to that they can get. Thomas strikes me as more of a traditional 4-3 defensive end, but his H/W/S combo and fluidity could make him more than serviceable as an off-ball linebacker. San Francisco wants to run the kind of defensive system Seattle has made famous, which thrives with these kind of “tweener” players. Thomas’s versatility would be valuable to them.

CHICAGO BEARS - OT GARRET BOLLES, UTAH The Bears are a difficult selection for me to predict. There are numerous impact defenders they could take at this spot. Alabama’s Jonathan Allen is a sort of consensus #3 player, but there are concerns about a nagging injury he may have. Marshon Lattimore tends to be the top corner -- a position the Bears whiffed at twice in FA -- but is he really worthy of a #3 selection? I want to propose Bolles as a legitimate candidate for this spot. I’ve heard rumblings that Bolles may go as high as a top 10 pick, and to me, it makes sense. There’s no lineman with his kind of athletic profile in this draft. He’s clearly a left tackle, which is more than can be said about nearly every OL this year. He has no injury concerns and his only red flags are his singular year of production and the fact that he’s gonna be a 25 year old rookie. However, good offensive linemen play well into their 30s regardless. Bolles gives the Bears a solidified offensive line for the future: Bolles/Kyle Long/Cody Whitehair/Josh Sitton/Bobby Massie is pretty formidable. I think a large emphasis on OL is going to be a pattern for teams drafting in the near future in an attempt to replicate the Dallas Cowboys’ recipe for success. I think the rumors of the Bears considering a QB here are just smoke.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS - RB LEONARD FOURNETTE, LSU This is really not a pick I’m comfortable making. Something in the back of my head tells me that NFL teams may not value Fournette as high as they might have, say, 5 years ago. However, given the remaining at pick four and the Jaguars needs, Fournette could theoretically make sense. Since maybe he made his first start at LSU, Fournette has been compared to Adrian Peterson. I don’t like to compare players to hall of famers, but the kind of playing style Fournette has is certainly similar to Peterson in a lot of ways. He’s got power, burst, straight line speed, and acceleration; everything you want out of a bellcow back. However, is the time of the bellcow back coming to an end? You’ll hear my thoughts on that soon. For now, the talented pieces of the Jacksonville offense may be able to benefit from having a player like Fournette behind them. Blake Bortles might benefit from it, too. ;)

TENNESSEE TITANS (VIA RAMS) - S MALIK HOOKER, OHIO STATE The Titans are in good position this draft. They picked up this chance at a blue chip player from the Rams and still got a great player in Jack Conklin last draft. Honestly I see this is a prime trade-down spot for a team that wants a QB (even though I don’t consider the #6 team, the Jets, in consideration to pick one). But since I’m not mocking trades, I’ll have the Titans stay. The Titans either need to pick weapons for Marcus Mariota or players to bolster their defense, and I think that they should target defense first. The draft’s top wideouts are more late-1st picks and there are a total of two possible impact safeties in this draft. Malik Hooker is a playmaker; he’s a single high safety in the mold of Earl Thomas and he could be just that big of an impact player for whichever team picks him. The Titans would be happy to have him.

NEW YORK JETS - CB MARSHON LATTIMORE, OHIO STATE The Jets are in prime position to draft a quarterback of the future and yet… they spent a second round draft pick last season on a guy who barely saw the field in the preseason. If I’m a Jets fan, I’m very weary about this regime of management and I think that the regime itself realizes this. The QB in question, Christian Hackenberg, will play this season whether he’s “ready” or not because at some point, the staff will have no other option in order to save their jobs. So, they really can’t pick a QB here; instead they should go with a high floor defensive kind of player that can contribute immediately. To many, this player is LSU safety Jamal Adams. However, as good a player he is I don’t think his position and the kind of player he is offers top-10 impact. Also, I can’t think of the last time two safeties were taken in the top 6. Instead, the Jets go for the top corner in the class. Lattimore wins with quickness and instincts, great athleticism and good recovery ability. He’s not the physical, jam-style cover corner (Richard Sherman), but he has a high ceiling as a pure kind of “shadow” corner (Vontae Davis).

LOS ANGELES CHARGERS - DL JONATHAN ALLEN, ALABAMA Whew, it felt weird to type “Los Angeles Chargers.” I feel genuinely bad for Chargers fans. Los Angeles is not a football town and it hasn’t been for a long time. Now, the Chargers are forced to share a city with another team that got there first. Their interim stadium only houses 30,000 fans. To me this is a serious betrayal of diehard fans in San Diego. But I digress. The Chargers have some problems in the personnel department, too, but I don’t think they’re as bad as their record recently has indicated. Horrendous injury luck has lead them to lose a ton of games these past two seasons. However on the positive end of this is, they get to add high-impact players with high draft picks. They are transitioning to a Gus Bradley 4-3 defense from a 3-4 and a value pick like Allen can propel them from a solid front 7 to a great one. Allen is the premiere interior pass rusher in this class, and while I believe his “injury issue” is overblown, I think it will result in a tiny little slide on draft day.

CAROLINA PANTHERS - RB CHRISTIAN MCCAFFREY, STANFORD The word out of Carolina is that they’re looking for their offense to “evolve.” And yet, we’ve seen no movement towards that this offseason. They lost arguably their most dangerous receiver, and added a pedestrian offensive lineman. Incumbent RB Jonathan Stewart just turned 30 and has an injury history despite being mostly healthy last season. Cam Newton, on the other hand, was not healthy last season and his play seriously dropped off as a result. I think, if they’re going to bounce back, they need an extra dimension on their offense and that is exactly what McCaffrey offers. Possibly the most elusive player in this draft, McCaffrey has the skills of a slot receiver but with incredible vision in between the tackles. He’s dynamic and the kind of player that changes the direction of an offense. All of that plus his ability to catch passes out of the backfield will allow Cam Newton to be more efficient, which is dangerous for the rest of the NFL.

CINCINNATI BENGALS - EDGE DEREK BARNETT, TENNESSEE The Bengals have fallen off a cliff, and I don’t think it’s going to get better before it gets worse. They lost good offensive linemen and their best players on defense are getting older. Barnett is the kind of pass rusher they need immediately, and for the future. Barnett was very productive at Tennessee and has crazy good hand usage for a collegiate player. There’s recent buzz around the Bengals selecting LB Haason Reddick from Temple at this spot, but I think that Barnett is a little more talented and plays a higher impact position.

BUFFALO BILLS - QB MITCHELL TRUBISKY, NORTH CAROLINA I am pounding the table for these Bills QB rumors to be true. There’s no way that the Bills owner Terry Pegula, a rich businessman, is going to visit 21 and 22-year olds for fun or “smoke.” The Bills struggled with the idea of keeping Tyrod Taylor for months (for some reason). This interest in a QB is real. I feel so bad for Taylor, who is at the very least a legitimate starting QB in the NFL, for this QB interest, but I don’t think it can be ignored. I think Trubisky may be the best QB in this draft, but that’s not saying much; I think the top 4 guys are pretty similar in terms of total talent level, and after that QB play kind of drops off. I am in the camp, however, that Trubisky shouldn’t be knocked for only one year of starting at UNC. He flashes a little too much Blaine Gabbert for me to feel good about him, but I think he shows the necessary traits to possibly be a franchise QB. Personally, I’d rather have Taylor, but I’m not an NFL GM nor do I pretend to understand them.

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS - CB MARLON HUMPHREY, ALABAMA I had this selection as Gareon Conley, but I’m writing this almost at the exact moment I found out about the rape allegations against him. Because this happened so close to the draft, I anticipate he will fall because teams won’t have enough info to feel comfortable drafting him high. It reminds me of the La’El Collins case a couple years ago but more serious. Collins went undrafted. Anyway, the Saints want to use their draft this year to bolster their defense, and I agree with that thinking. There’s not a whole lot of talent there. I think they should pick the best defensive players on their board and not look back, and that could be Marlon Humphrey. Honestly, I’m not high at all on Humphrey and I think he may get taken lower than this. He reminds me a lot of former Alabama cornerback Dee Milliner, and although he was taken early, that’s not a compliment. However, I’ve been told to put Humphrey in the top half of mocks, and I think the Saints make sense.

CLEVELAND BROWNS (VIA EAGLES) - TE OJ HOWARD, ALABAMA If the draft falls like this, I think the Browns should be ecstatic. I think there’s a GREAT chance they could use this pick to trade up for their QB of choice -- whoever that may be (reports are it’s Trubisky) -- but since I’m not mocking trades, the Browns end up with my top two players in the draft. I love OJ Howard. We haven’t had a blue-chip prospect at tight end in a looooong time, so long that I think people have forgotten what that is. Howard is a better prospect than the last 3 tight ends to go top 12; he’s a better athlete, better blocker and more polished route runner than Eric Ebron, who went 1.10; he’s a more polished receiver than Vernon Davis, who went 1.6 and he’s a better overall prospect than Kellen Winslow Jr., who also went 1.6. He’s the top receiving talent in this draft and although rookie TEs rarely make an impact year one, I think he can be that exception. He’s a stud.

ARIZONA CARDINALS - QB PATRICK MAHOMES, TEXAS TECH These QBs are gonna go in an order I think we won’t suspect. I’m not sure if Mahomes is necessarily the second best QB in the draft, but I think that the case can be made for it. I really like Mahomes, actually. I think his improvisational ability is uncanny and his arm is exactly what you’re looking for in a high end NFL QB. His technique is bad, legit bad but he makes it work somehow. My problem with him is, this type of QB doesn’t have a comparison for success in the NFL. In other words, it’s tough to find a comparison that fits the transition he’s going to have to make in the pros. I think he compares most positively to Ben Roethlisberger *as a prospect* but I’m really not confident in saying that at all. The Cardinals I think are in firm “first round QB” territory, though. Carson Palmer’s career is not going to last much longer and they need to prepare for the future. Mahomes fits Arians’ vertical offense best and coincidentally, Arians worked with Big Ben early in his career, too.

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (VIA VIKINGS) - EDGE CHARLES HARRIS, MISSOURI Apparently draft writers are getting hammered by Philly fans for making this pick, so please, Philly friends, don’t hurt me. I love this pick. Harris is as talented as any pass rusher in this class; he’s got a plethora of moves and has a natural feel for rushing the passer. His problems are with stopping the run. However, in Jim Schwartz’s wide 9 defensive scheme, pure pass rush ability from the ends is most valued. Wide 9 DEs like Jason Babin (familiar name?) will end seasons with 12 sacks and, like, 28 total tackles. Their gap responsibility is just the QB, not the RB on contain. Harris is a perfect fit for this role. The Eagles have many needs (CB and RB among them) but I think the DE class is thinner than those other needs. They’d benefit a lot from adding Harris in 1.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS - LB HAASON REDDICK, TEMPLE There is so much buzz around Reddick now, and as a Temple grad, that makes me happy. Reddick is an athletic freak and seems like a perfect fit for the inside linebacker spot in a 3-4 defense. No one has had a better draft season than Reddick, who was a 2nd / 3rd round pick before he exploded this offseason. All he’s done since February is check every box evaluators have asked of him. There are reports that teams in the teens and even the top 10 covet Reddick. I think this is because of his potential as a rusher; he’s an extremely versatile defender and versatility is among the most important traits of a player in the NFL nowadays. The Colts made the right choice firing GM Ryan Grigson and bringing in Chris Ballard from Kansas City, whose regime has focused on athletes across the board. Reddick and the free agents Ballard has brought in finally promise to give head coach Chuck Pagano the defensive talent he has been lacking since he’s literally been hired.

BALTIMORE RAVENS - LB REUBEN FOSTER, ALABAMA Alright alright alright, I hear you. Why would Reddick go before Foster, the superior football prospect? Is it his combine? His diluted sample or whatever? Honestly, it’s everything. I’m buying that Foster slips a little on draft day because seriously, this guy has done nothing but hurt his draft stock since February. He had pretty much the worst possible outcome of the combine that you can have without sustaining a serious injury. He didn’t participate in Alabama’s pro day and then he had this diluted sample thing. I don’t think the sample is a big deal, mind you, but the NFL is notoriously stingy with any of these three things and then all three happened. I think he’s gonna fall at least a little. I don’t think Ozzie Newsome and the Ravens will pass him up, however. Taking away all these issues, he’s a heat-seeking missile of a linebacker with incredible range. Newsome loves his Bama players and he loves (and always seems to end up with) “value” guys.

WASHINGTON REDSKINS - S JAMAL ADAMS, LSU In my mock, this is where Adams’ fall ends. Truthfully, I don’t think he falls this far; he’s too good of a prospect. However, after pick 7, there aren’t a ton of fits for him. There’s talk of him going at #2 overall, which I think would be ludicrous, but I guess you never know. Again, he may be a great prospect at his position, and he checks boxes intangible-wise, but I wonder how much emphasis teams will put on this position. I think he ends up taken in the early teens when all is said and done. The Redskins, of course, would love to have him. They don’t really have an identity on defense and Adams may be able to provide that. But I mean nobody knows how the Redskins are gonna do this draft -- they legit fired their GM like a month and a half ago. That plus the Kirk Cousins stuff makes me weary for this organization, but I suppose we’ll have to wait and see.

 TENNESSEE TITANS - WR MIKE WILLIAMS, CLEMSON And here’s starter #2 for Tennessee. They end up with a top corner and receiver in round one, which is quite a haul to begin with, but I bet that they are one of the more active teams on draft night. I think they’re in prime spot to trade down at both 5 and 18, and they’ve shown a propensity to do so in the first place under this regime. But again, since I’m not mocking trades, I have them sticking at both their spots and hey, they end up with some pretty good players. Personally, I’m not as big a fan of Mike Williams as some others are. Alshon Jeffery is the pro comparison given to him most often, but Jeffery was hammered with criticism for his faults as a prospect and I feel as though Williams’ negatives are being overlooked. I don’t think he’s going to be the high-impact player in his first year that many expect. That being said though, he adds a dimension to the Titans offense that they don’t yet have. He has legitimate 50-50 ball skills and he can play all levels of the field.

 TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS - OT RYAN RAMCZYK, WISCONSIN I really like the direction that the Buccaneers are headed in. I’ve always been a fan of Jameis Winston, even though his faults seem to be defining his career thus far. Him and Mike Evans are definitely the premiere “No! No! YES!” players in the NFL; that is, experts at looking like they’re doing something #bad and then turning it into something #good. There’s a lot of rumors that they’re targeting a running back at this spot, but I don’t think that’s the case. They have 3 serviceable RBs on their roster even though I expect Doug Martin to not be in their future plans. I think they’re one of the teams that spends a 2 or a 3 on a running back. I also consider Miami TE David Njoku a dark horse candidate to be drafted at this spot, but that’s another class of deep prospects. I think instead they should go with OL, as Donovan Smith isn’t great and their right tackle, Demar Dotson, is up there in age and not good. The team that picks Ramczyk is taking a pretty interesting risk. He has only started for one year and due to injury, did not partake in the offseason draft process. On tape I think he’s a late 1 kind of OL, but it’s gonna be interesting seeing his draft position because the tape is really all teams have on this guy.

 DENVER BRONCOS - OT CAM ROBINSON, ALABAMA The Broncos offensive line is a mess. I liked Paxton Lynch last draft but honestly I’m not a fan of his situation. I think the receivers in Denver are a bit overrated, CJ Anderson is coming off a major injury and their best offensive lineman is a guy named Matt Paradis. They signed Ronald Leary from the Cowboys, which will help, but currently Donald Stephenson is slotted in as their left tackle and he was godawful last season. He was possibly one of the worst starters in the NFL last season. They need to add somebody to their OL. I really like Robinson and I’m not in the conversation that thinks he should be moved to guard. He could at least play right tackle for an NFL team, and in this situation he’d end up probably starting on the left side for the Broncos. If that doesn’t work out, he could be transitioned to the right side.

 DETROIT LIONS - DE TACO CHARLTON, MICHIGAN For a playoff team last season, I think the Lions actually have a ton of needs. They could pick a wide receiver or a tight end, as they’re gonna be missing Anquan Boldin’s touchdowns from last season. They could go with a corner, because across from Darius Slay is a whole lot of nothing. They really need a linebacker; right now it looks like their starter on one side is a guy named Thurston Armbrister. That sounds like a Dr. Who character. I have them taking DE Taco Charlton, though, because they need a rusher on the opposite side of Ziggy Ansah and I think Charlton is too talented to pass up. Rushers with his kind of athleticism and prototypical size are rarely available at this point in the draft. He’s been inconsistent, so his motor is in question, but I think his upside is a little too much to pass up. I’m honestly just looking forward to hearing Jon Gruden say “Taco Charlton.”

 MIAMI DOLPHINS - OG FORREST LAMP, WESTERN KENTUCKY Miami is another team I really like the future of. I’m a firm believer in Adam Gase and Ryan Tannehill; I think that combination may be in it for the long haul. I love their receiving weapons -- although I expect them to draft a TE at some point in this draft -- and I’ll eat crow on Jay Ajayi, who I thought would be too injury prone to be successful in the NFL. Their defense needs some work, too, and I’ve heard that they will target a pass rusher early in this draft. However, I don’t see any on the board right now that I’m comfortable picking here. What I do see is possibly the most talented offensive lineman in this draft. Forrest Lamp is athletic and versatile and I honestly think that he’s spotless as a prospect. I would play him at tackle if the NFL didn’t have such a stigma against arm length. He’s gonna move inside to guard in the NFL, and many think he can play center as well, a lot like Cody Whitehair last draft. I think he’s loads better than Whitehair was, though. He’s polished and will contribute day 1. I like Lamp to fill the guard spot vacated by Laremy Tunsil’s conversion to left tackle and shore up the offensive line for the Dolphins long-term.

 NEW YORK GIANTS - TE DAVID NJOKU, MIAMI The Giants are gonna be an interesting team to follow in this draft. They’ve met with a ton of quarterbacks this offseason, but I don’t think they’ll take one early even though I don’t think Eli Manning is good anymore. We’re very close to an NFL without Eli, Ben Roethlisberger, and Philip Rivers. That’s crazy. And Tom Brady too, I guess, but I think he might be a robot. Anyway, if the Giants aren’t looking to replace Eli this season, they should continue to improve the situation around him. Their defense really improved last season, so I expect this pick to be used on offense. Fortunately for them, David Njoku fell right into their laps. Some say that Njoku has the highest upside of any TE in this draft. I love OJ Howard and I don’t think Njoku reaches these impossible heights people are projecting for him, but his potential is enough to get excited about. He’s an athletic freak who was dominant in the red zone at Miami. He’s gotta put more weight on to be a blocker in the NFL, and he’s raw so he has to learn the nuances of receiving, too, but this is one player that the sky is truly the limit for.

 OAKLAND RAIDERS - LB JARRAD DAVIS, FLORIDA I’ve heard from many people to slot Florida linebacker Jarrad Davis in the 20s. I’m not sure I agree with this hype, personally. I think Davis has the potential to be really good, but he strikes me as one of those players that coaches think they can get the most out of. You know what I mean? Like a coach looks at him and says, “I’ll get him to be consistent.” I think he misses things a little too much. I think he doesn’t have great vision through traffic and ends up behind the play a little too much. But his character and athletic potential in coverage are two traits that will excite teams. I really hope the Raiders continue to draft well and build a strong team. How many other teams in the NFL have players like Derek Carr and Khalil Mack on offense and defense? Great players at two high impact positions are gonna lead to a lot of wins in the future if they can build adequately around them.

 HOUSTON TEXANS - QB DESHAUN WATSON, CLEMSON The Texans have to draft a quarterback. They have to. I’m honestly not convinced that the Tony Romo saga with them is over, but they seriously cannot go into next season with Tom Savage penciled in to start 16 games. That is a disaster waiting to happen, and I bet the Texans brass knows this. I have them taking Watson here, but theoretically they could go with any of him or DeShone Kizer or heck, even Davis Webb (who I’m beginning to believe the round 1 hype on). I liked Watson in the beginning of the process but as I’ve watched more, I’ve cooled off on him. He’s got inconsistent field vision and his accuracy can be really bad at times. These things are difficult to improve in the NFL quickly. That being said though, he’s a winner and ultra-competitive. He’s got the personality to succeed in the NFL. I really hope the Texans figure this out soon because that defense (with JJ Watt coming back) is wasting some prime competitive years with an anemic offense.

 SEATTLE SEAHAWKS - CB KEVIN KING, WASHINGTON I don’t know why nobody is talking about Kevin King. He’s one of these long-limbed, tall corners that the league LOVES now and he’s got serious athleticism. I think King is taken at the end of 1 or the beginning of 2; maybe his name is getting lost in this loaded CB class? He’s not a great tackler, but offers potential in a press scheme like Seattle’s. Rumors about trading stud CB Richard Sherman underlined Seattle’s offseason. I really wonder about that situation… it’s not often that great homegrown players ask to be traded. Seattle doesn’t have a whole lot of promise across from him regardless.

 KANSAS CITY CHIEFS - CB CHIDOBE AWUZIE, COLORADO I struggled with this pick repeatedly for a bunch of reasons. I really truly think the Chiefs are gonna target a QB in this draft to be the heir to Alex Smith. I wanted to put one here, because I think their interest is so genuine, but I don’t think I can do that and feel good about it. DeShone Kizer has been falling recently for reasons I don’t agree with. People say he’s got “character concerns,” but I don’t think his kind of confidence is a concern at all. It’s just not traditional. Unfortunately, NFL teams hate unconventional personalities. On the other hand, Cal QB Davis Webb has been rising recently and there’s been talk of him sneaking into the first round. He is not that talented of a player, but he’s got a good arm and “intangibles” and NFL coaches love that. They’re antitheses of each other personality wise, but as NFL players they’ll be kind of the same situation (although I personally think Kizer is notably better). I can’t confidently give the Chiefs either of those guys, so I’m going to give them a corner. Outside of Marcus Peters the Chiefs really have nothing at corner. Philip Gaines got benched and their other guy is someone named Stephen Nelson. Awuzie has risen through the draft process because of -- again, here’s that magic word -- his versatility. He has sticky coverage skills on the outside and inside in the slot and he’s confident and instinctual. If it’s not a QB, I like this pick.

 DALLAS COWBOYS - EDGE TAKKARIST MCKINLEY, UCLA The Cowboys really struck gold last season, didn’t they? Elliot was always the right pick but man, I don’t care who you are, nobody saw Dak coming. I thought he got picked right where he should have been picked, and I figured at the very best he was a project in the NFL. Remember when he lit up the preseason? That was crazy. Anyway, the Cowboys now are faced with the daunting task of fixing their defense. Here’s the running list of players they lost to free agency: DT Jack Crawford, DT Terrell McClain, CB Brandon Carr, CB Morris Claiborne, S Barry Church and S JJ Wilcox. That’s a lot of losses on the back end, but their front 7 wasn’t great to begin with and I know that their defensive scheme doesn’t value secondary players as much as other defenses do. Because of that and the fact that they really lack a stud pass rusher, I have them taking Takkarist McKinley here. I think he’s probably best suited as a 3-4 outside linebacker, but he has one of the best motors of anyone in the draft and that is an easily translatable trait when converting positions. He’s raw as a pass rusher but has great athletic potential and seems to have the desire to get better. This could be one of those picks we look back on and think, “how did he fall so far?”

 GREEN BAY PACKERS - CB TRE’DAVIOUS WHITE, LSU As a Vikings fan it always bums me out to see a division rival make a good pick. I really like Tre’Davious White as a prospect. He’s kind of soft as a tackler, so I don’t think he’ll appeal to every NFL team, but I think he fits what the Packers like out of their corners. He’s pretty athletic, has great instincts and he has a quick recovery; he’s a prototypical man cover corner. The Packers have all kinds of needs on their defense that I think they should just take the best corner, pass rusher or linebacker available. I think White could go in the top 15 depending on how the board falls, so the Packers would be getting nice value here. What i’ve been hearing is to not count out a running back here, too, which doesn’t surprise me because last season I thought receiver convert Ty Montgomery could handle more than they were giving him. I think the depth of this RB draft will push players down though, and I don’t think Dalvin Cook has the athletic profile of running backs drafted in the first round.

 PITTSBURGH STEELERS - WR JOHN ROSS, WASHINGTON Pittsburgh is another interesting selection for me. I don’t think their interest in QBs is intended for a pick this early in the draft. What I’ve been hearing for this pick is that they wish to draft a pass catcher high, and that’s an understandable decision. Without touchdown savant Martavis Bryant on the team last season, smart teams like the New England Patriots were able to shift coverage to blanket Antonio Brown with no repercussions, as players like Cobi Hamilton were a net zero on the other side of the field. They need a player that will make defenses pay for attempting to shut down Brown. Ross fits this bill perfectly. Everyone is gonna laud Ross for his fast 40 time, but the truth is, Ross isn’t a fast guy who plays football. He’s a football player who happens to be fast. I think that without the medicals, he’s a slam dunk top 15 pick. Not only does he have the deep ability you expect from a fast receiver, but he also was dominant in the red zone. He has a natural feel for the position and easily creates separation from cornerbacks. I also really like Western Michigan receiver Corey Davis, but I think his quiet draft process will put him in the early second round.

 ATLANTA FALCONS - LB TYUS BOWSER, HOUSTON The Falcons were gonna win the super bowl, man. Weren’t they? They were so close. I don’t think I could ever watch that game again, being that I know the result already. It can’t be as good the second time. Even when the Falcons got up 28-3, I vividly remember saying out loud that if there’s one guy that’s gonna have this kind of comeback on his resume, it’s gonna be Tom Brady. And lo and behold, it happened. Why even field a team until Brady retires? Just get him out of here. Jeez. Anyway, despite losing their offensive coordinator this offseason, the Falcons biggest needs come from the defensive end of the ball. They could really use another pass rusher to keep pressure off Vic Beasley, who had a solid season last year. I like Bowser in this spot, who in addition to having an awesome name, is an awesome athlete with excellent burst and explosion. He’s super raw though because he played two years of basketball in college, but some of those skills translate to his game on the football field. Some may see him as a tweener with no real position, but I think his athleticism will lend him to becoming a versatile young defender for whichever team decides to draft him. I’ve heard rumblings of him going in the top 20 recently.

 NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (VIA PATRIOTS) - EDGE TJ WATT, WISCONSIN I’m happy the Patriots traded their pick because now I don’t have to talk about them. However, I gotta say briefly that their offseason has so far been incredible. They continue to play this game differently than everyone else and it pays dramatic dividends. Somebody’s gotta stand up and stop them. Please. Anyway, on to our last pick of the first round. The Saints need to continue to upgrade their defense if they want to compete for a super bowl before Drew Brees retires. They should take the best defensive player that they can. I have them getting TJ Watt here. I think Watt is a little overrated by media people; he’s not his brother even though JJ even said that TJ is a better prospect than he was coming out. I really disagree with that, too. He does have a similar motor, though, and he was a great run defender at the collegiate level. Some part of me thinks the best fit for him is an off-ball linebacker in a 4-3, but I think he can play defensive end, too because his ability to pursue and fight through trash should translate to that role well.

I’m very excited for this whole long-ass article to be obsolete in just a matter of hours. That’s the draft, baby! Hoo boy!!