#Can you tell I took my ADHD meds today?

[which-qsmp-egg-would]

Today's investigation ended in rain. Looks like they'll have to come back another day.

[payasita]

Good job getting ADHD medication! I’m so proud of you :D

thanks so so much im very happy and so hopeful for the first time maybe ever but also it TOOK ME LIKE. A YEAR. A YEAR.

like yall for real?? for real. for real i have been diagnosed since i was like six. (funny story my teacher thought i was on the spectrum so my parents get me tested with the nodes and shit and according to mom, who loves this story, my neurologist did all that and talked to me and then just turned to my mom and went "she's not autistic. she just hates the other kids" but they DID find an adhd diagnosis in there so net win for all of us)

diagnosed since i was SIX. on stimulants until i turned 8, and you know why i got off em? my pediatrician retired. we could not find another who would take our low-income insurance. so i just had to rawdog The Rest Of My Fucking Life. diagnosed when i was six. legally neurodivergent for 20 slutty slutty angry years.

and it still took me like. a few months to get a psych appointment. a few weeks to reaffirm my diagnosis as an adult. a few more weeks for another appointment for meds. he doesnt Want to do meds first, because i must have been doing fine without them if its been two decades, right? i got a job and a car and everything. well gee fuckin shittickers Dr. Brain Guy, just WHAT was my alternative? would you prefer i be maladapted to the point of incapacitation; is that what it takes for someone to be considered? i cheated my way through school. every day after work i sit for an hour in my car because i dont have the executive function to stand up and walk the ten steps to my house. garbage just appears around me. i have three empty bags of hot chip and two cans of sprite on my desk as we speak, neither from today. at that point i hadnt had a debit card for six months because that would have required me to Drive To The Bank, a location that was new to me in this area, so i just did everything on credit. is this all normal? is this fine? am i GOOD, actually, Dr. WeirdBrain?

so we cordially agree that yes i should probably be medicated. i want to do a stimulant. he does not want to put me on a stimulant. "stimulants can mess with your heart," he says, "and you're young, you don't want heart problems." i say ok because i dont want to make him think im just looking for narcotics. even though i am. because they WORK. i agree to try some kind of antidepressant.

the antidepressant gives me tachycardia. i go to the emergency room after reading a heartbeat of, oh, 140 bpm, which is about like double what it normally is and juuuust below the You Are Having A Heart Attack threshold. i get to the ER and the doctor there is very obviously convinced i'm a local addict having some sort of episode. it is the most ironic experience i've had all year and i feel an abrupt and all consuming kinship with those birds in australia that will swoop you and peck at your face for seemingly no good reason.

so yeah, we narrow it down to the antidepressant. as it turns out, these particular meds are known to, semi-commonly, Mess With Your Heart. i have my next appointment with my psych and somehow refrain from pecking his eyes out. he puts me on a noreprinephrine inhibitor(iirc) that isnt actually FDA approved to treat ADHD specifically(i DEFINITELY rc) but it IS given to smokers to help them quit. i dont smoke. i may very well fucking start before this whole ordeal is at the point where someone listens to me

it obviously does a combined total of jack and shit, and the man waffles with this one because he has "had success" using it as treatment for other ADHD patients. he ups the dose. twice. three months on the smoker meds, which are also apparently notorious for destroying your appetite, but they didnt even do THAT. no change to the average amount of hot chip on my desk.

he wants to try quelbree after that. i finally tell him i'm tired of this shit and would like to have more than two hours of usable daylight to function before it all falls to uncontrollable youtube shorts binges and a daily experience i like to call The Weighted Nothings and i would very much like to PLEASE. TRY A STIMULANT.

he's been friendly enough with me over these past four or five or whatever months but at this he gets suddenly very very business-baseline. gives me the whole spiel about the north american shortage. gives me a spiel about how i absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, lose or sell this medication, because they will not refill it if i do. i am sitting here wondering if he he's telling the truth about having other ADHD patients at all like ever in his career, and also, am i nuts or should the "don't sell your prescription drugs" bit apply to EVERYTHING? i dont fuckin know man i just live here

he says he wants a urine test first. its scheduled for two weeks out. i take it.

"hey uh, your piss came back with cannabis in it" "well it'd be weirder if it didn't, we are in california and i am a kitchen manager" "you can't have weed if you want adderall" "fine i'll stop" "we'll schedule you another test in a month" "aight bet" it didnt go exactly like that but this is kind of what the vibe between us has devolved into by this point.

anyway i wait a month and get a good grade in piss. i get the meds prescribed. i go to fill out the prescription

all i really need to say to you are the words "prior authorization error" for most of you to get what happened next.

the psych isnt even aware. i wait another month for our next meeting, which was yesterday. i do not yell at him. he tells me to take it up with the pharmacy, and yell at them. i am going to yell at them.

so i go, and guess what, it actually went through a while ago! NO ONE TOLD ME OR DR. FEEL-BAD OVER HERE. but we can't fill it right now because its a controlled substance so come back in a few hours. hey it's ready where the hell are you? TAKE YOUR METH AND GET OUT

anyway i started it today, reorganized my pantry, and fixed the fire alarm in my hallway that's been chirping at me for a week. i no longer have to wear earplugs to bed.

and with my newfound executive function superpowers, i will be spraying my weed-free piss all over Reagan's grave.

[scientia-rex]

I got home from work today sneezing my head off with a right eye that won’t stop watering, took a hot shower, climbed into bed, and I haven’t climbed out since. I’m grumpy and I have a headache and if I’m not testing positive for COVID or debilitated by symptoms tomorrow I’ll still need to go to work because that’s twenty patient visits that would need to be rescheduled, usually with someone else, and that’s twenty people I’m letting down. Today I did one of my patented 45-second Pap smears (if it takes longer than that, your doctor needs to get better!) for someone with vaginal atrophy from menopause (it is both very common and very treatable) and she was in disbelief. (This time it was more like 30 seconds.) I saw a suicidally depressed patient who’s clinging to life with both hands and I changed their meds last week and I am not making them wait to see me. I cleaned a wound no one else gave a shit about and I saw a bitter pissy Republican Party bigwig who has terrible anxiety and depression she doesn’t tell anyone about, who’s alienated everyone but who I can still convince to try treatment.

I do my job on hard mode on purpose. I like being important—who doesn’t? I like being legendary, I like that when people move to town and ask for doctor recommendations on Facebook so many people mention me that other patients feel compelled to tell me about it. I got nominated for best doctor in our local region last year. (I didn’t win, out of 5 nominees.) But when I’m sick, when I’m the kind of sick that can be hidden easily, the kind of sick I was always expected to go to school and rotations and residency with, it’s so hard. I hate exposing patients, even to a cold, but the benefits of receiving care are probably enough to outweigh the chance of transmission. I wrestle with myself: if I call in, it starts a ripple effect. Can they get a per diem from their “pool” (of three) to come in? Can they reschedule my patients with me? I don’t have any open spots for five weeks. Can they open same days? None available for three weeks. Can they open blocked spots? That’s going to make my life hell when I come back from being sick. That’s clinic staff calling twenty patients, trying to reach them. That’s twenty patients who feel abandoned. They can know intellectually that doctors get sick too, but they don’t believe it. They take it personally. I have seen this over and over again, until I had to believe it.

It is so EASY for people who don’t do this job to tell me how I’m doing it wrong. “Just stay home!” Oh, okay, you want to tell the person whose chronic opioids I’m supposed to write for that I can’t? You want to put the nurses through getting the on-call to write a bridge prescription? I write more ADHD meds than most of my peers—usually a lot more. You want to tell my colleagues to write meds they’re uncomfortable with? How about tell my suicidal patients (which is a lot of them!) that the provider they know and trust after months or years will be replaced today by a 70-year-old white man who still thinks they should pull themselves up by their bootstraps? Tell my queer patients that they have to wait until I’m better and back to get their hormones and their STI screenings, reschedule a Pap someone was dreading. Every day is a kaleidoscope of opportunities to make a real connection with “difficult” patients. I’m good at it. I may be the best at it at my clinic.

I don’t hate calling in sick just because the clinic manager is a judgy bitch, though that doesn’t help. I hate it because of what it does to my patients. And it’s not simple. Pretending it is does all of us a disservice. I am not a widget. I am not easily replaceable. You can’t plug any of our per diems (all men, 2/3 white, 2/3 old, 1/3 a Bitcoin bro) into my place and call it an equivalent, and my schedule is already so packed that if I call in sick, patients will be guilt-tripping me about it for months. I’m not kidding. That happens every single time.

Christ alive, I wish it was true that doctors never got sick.

[ghostedeabha]

simon ‘ghost’ riley x reader

wc: 894

warnings: chronic illness, mentions of acid reflux and nausea, mentions and descriptions of chronic pain. it's implied that reader is autistic and adhd but never explicitly mentioned. migraines. other than that, pure fluff.

a/n: this is absolutely a personal lil comfort fic i wrote bc i'm chronically ill and disabled lol. hope y'all enjoy. i tried to keep it broad and not mention specific illnesses so anyone with a chronic disability can read, but my experience with chronic illnesses and disabilities are based solely on my own and thus may accidently exclude certain illnesses.

it was more often than not that simon came home to the flat like this, and it never failed to break his heart a little bit every time. dirty dishes untoched in the sink, clothes strewn about. just generally messy and dirty.

it’s not as if simon had left the flat alone during his deployment, quite the opposite in fact. and anyone who knew that fact and saw the state of the flat would probably tell simon that his girlfriend was clearly lazy and didn't care for his things.

simon, however, knew that was far from the truth. he stepped over the dirty clothes and past the sink of dirty dishes, he’d deal with all that later, and made his way to the bedroom where he knew he’d find his love. find her in the exact spot he had left her no doubt.

his suspicions only confirmed when he opened the door slowly, giving it a gentle knock first as to alert her of his arrival. as he stepped into the room, placing his bag down by the door as he closed it behind him, he looked over to his girlfriend, curled up in a pile of blankets in the dark room. simon took note that the lights were completely shut off and the blackout curtains pulled over the window.

“hey bunny…” simon says quietly as he approaches the bed with careful steps, his deep, gruff voice barely a whisper. “got a migraine?”

his girlfriend’s response came in the form of just slightly moving blankets and a small face poking out from a tiny hole in the pile of warmth and plush. her pretty face etched with that permenant pout she had when she was having flare ups.

she needn’t respond to his question for him to know her answer.

“take your migraine medicine?” simon asks gently again, no condescending intentions, he knew the answer was one of two things. ‘yes and it barely helped’ or ‘no, i have none left’

when his girlfriend shakes her head no, he instantly knows that the latter option is her current situation, and his heart breaks further. it was too late to take those meds now, even if he ran to the pharmacy just up the road and got her refill. they were preventative meds, not relief.

“would you like to go to the hospital?” simon questions further, he holds up both hands and his girlfriend pokes the right.

‘no.’

“okay, then… how about i go and get you some chips and a soda? maybe that combo will help, want to try that luvie?” he suggests, his hands held up again.

this time she pokes the left.

‘yes.’

“perfect.” simon responds, kissing her blanketed forehead. “i’ll be back in 10 with a large chips and a large dr. pepper. want anything else? have you eaten at all today?”

yet again his lovely girlfriend shakes her head no and her hand pokes out to point towards her lanyard on the nightstand.

“your cards?” simon asks, despite this he’s already grabbing the shark lanyard and handing it to his baby.

she takes it with a weak, forced smile. only on her lips to show her love and gratitude for his help before the mask slips and her pained pout returns to her face. no big deal, simon understands it’s not a reflection on her feelings to him.

uncapping the marker she writes on the blank, laminated card on her lanyard, part of a set of communication cards.

'didn't eat. too much nausea and acid reflux.’

“oh, okay. then just the chips and soda.” simon confirms with a firm nod. “i’ll be back in 10, doll.”

and as promised, he’s back in 10 minutes flat. ice, cold dr. peper and some hot, salty chips in his possession. a small smile on his face at the sight of slight progress in his lover’s state, instead of a pitch black room she sat in a mostly dim room with the tv quietly playing an episode of Bob’s Burgers.

“here y’are. made sure to get them nice and hot. want some ketchup?” simon says with a gentle tone, a stark contrast to the man he had to be just 12 hours prior.

when she nods, simon is quick to go to the kitchen, coming back with the bottle of ketchup for his beloved. he sits on the bed next to the blanket monster that his girlfriend currently was and handed the bottle of ketchup to her, holding out a little cup for her to squirt however much she wanted into.

even moments like these simon treasured. many would see his girlfriend as a burden, why? well he wasn't really sure. but simon didn't. he felt a sense of purpose being able to help her when she needs it, plus, what was better than coming home from deployment and snuggling with his princess? even if his princess was more of a blanket moutain than anything right now.

the two adjusted to make them both comfortable and cozy, blankets surrounding them both as simon held his darling close, large hands gently rubbing up and down her sides in a soothing manner, happy to relax with her and watch tv.

simon would take this here, over the battlefield anyday.

[sgt-tombstone]

House Rules

Poly 141 || Explicit || 18+ MDNI!

CW: explicit sexual content, polyamory, free use

No one asked for this but I took my ADHD meds today so it got written anyway. This isn't beta read or proofread so ignore any mistakes (or tell me about them so I can fix them lmao)

Let me know if you guys want me to post this to ao3, it's not my usual fare but I'd be willing to post it if you'd like!

————

When Johnny officially started dating Simon, he knew that the other man was in an open relationship. He had never given polyamory much thought before--it had never held much appeal to him, and he always thought himself far too jealous to share his partner with anyone else--but with Simon, it was different from the beginning.

At first, he had missed the part of Simon's dating profile that indicated his relationship status, and by the time he finally did notice the little line--poly and partnered--Johnny had already made up his mind about the man. He was funny and sweet, sickeningly romantic, even as confined to the little dating app chat box as they were. There was no indication that Simon was looking to add another number to his polycule; he told Johnny outright, when questioned, that he was perfectly fine keeping their relationship neatly sequestered, separate from Simon's other relationships. He was attentive and devoted, never making Johnny feel needy or burdensome, even when Johnny took up entire hours of his time messaging back and forth, and Johnny often found himself forgetting that he wasn't the sole recipient of Simon's attention.

When they finally arranged an in-person meeting after a month of daily, sometimes hourly, back-and-forth, they simply... clicked. Johnny mocked Simon for his preference for tea, Simon affectionately tugged on Johnny's mohawk, and when they left the little coffee shop, neither of them wanted the bubble to burst just yet, so Simon tugged Johnny closer and led him to a nearby park. They strolled for hours, tucked against each other's sides to stave off the mid-winter chill, and Johnny marveled at how well he fit pressed against Simon.

Eventually, he got curious. Simon occasionally mentioned his other partners, always in passing, always casually, but always fondly. Johnny knew that there were two others--an older man named Price and a man close to Johnny's own age named Kyle, though Simon always called him Gaz--and he found himself more and more willing to meet them. More than willing, even. Eager. He wanted to know the people in Simon's life that made him so happy, wanted to be friendly with them, if not friends. So, four months after his and Simon's first date, he broached the subject and, two weeks later, he found himself sitting in the very same coffee shop, Simon at his side, Price and Gaz across the table, all four of them sipping on warm drinks and sharing warm laughter.

It felt easy. It felt right.

Over the next several months, the four of them went out increasingly often together. In public, they passed their foursome off as a double date situation--society had warmed up significantly to the idea of two men dating, but the four of them attracted more attention and questions than it was worth--and Johnny felt himself drawn to the other two men in much the same way he was drawn to Simon. Price and Gaz were easy and open with their affection for Simon and had welcomed Johnny into their lives, in any capacity he chose, with open arms. He supposed that was why it was called an open relationship. He didn't pry much into their personal relationships with each other; it was enough for him to know that Simon was happy, that Simon was surrounded by people who took care of him, that Simon loved him just as much as the other two men in his life.

Only when Simon broached the idea of Johnny moving in with him did he learn the whole truth.

'Free use,' Simon had said, and Johnny hadn't even known what that was. They had sat in Johnny's shitty flat, tucked together on the couch, TV on for background noise and empty takeout boxes strewn across the coffee table, and Simon had explained it. He lived with Price and Gaz, each with their own bedroom and bathroom, and they shared each other, whenever they wanted, as often as they wanted. There were house rules, of course, boundaries in place to keep everything safe and consensual, and if Johnny agreed to move in with them, he'd both be bound by those rules and have the ability to add his own, even going so far as to place himself off-limits if he wished.

For all of his hesitation, Johnny couldn't say that he wasn't intrigued. Or interested. There was something inherently compelling about the sense of freedom that Simon's explanation had conveyed. The more he thought about it, the more interested he became. He had always had some exhibitionist and voyeuristic tendencies, had always loved the thrill of the attention and the risk of getting caught, but he had never considered...

He took several weeks to think about it, which Simon enthusiastically supported, and during those weeks, he jerked off more often than he'd ever admit to idea. The thought of Price or Gaz walking in while Simon fucked him over the kitchen table, continuing a conversation with each other as if one of them wasn't getting railed right in front of them never failed to get him hard in record time, and he found himself moaning all three names equally often whenever he came.

Moving was made easy by four sets of hands instead of just one or two, especially when all four men were roughly the size of refrigerators with functional muscles to match. Their house was massive. Five bedrooms, seven bathrooms, a living room big enough to play hurling in, a kitchen that had seemingly jumped straight out of an interior design magazine, and a backyard framed entirely by privacy fencing and several rows of bushes tall and thick enough to shield the entire property from prying eyes.

The first night he was there, all four of them sat down at the kitchen table over dinner and explained the house rules:

everyone wore a colored bracelet at all times. Green indicated a willingness to engage in free use, though that consent could always be revoked. Yellow indicated the desire to be present and watch, but not the desire to be an active participant. Red indicated off-limits, which meant that no free use could take place when they were in the room.

the kitchen was off-limits, especially when someone was actively cooking

if a door was closed, that room and everyone in it were off-limits unless someone was specifically invited in

everyone in the house got STD tested once per month as well as before and after every sexual situation with someone outside of the house

There were others, mundane rules that Johnny had lived with enough roommates to feel comfortable with the gist of; everyone pitched in with chores, everyone contributed equally to utilities, and everyone kept the noise to a minimum, with a few obvious exceptions.

The first night was calm. Simon led Johnny back to his room, since Johnny's wasn't fully unpacked yet, and handed him his three bracelets, tucking the red one securely in place around his wrist.

"You can take it off whenever you like," he said, "but keep it on until you're comfortable."

They moved around each other effortlessly, changing into sleep clothes and getting ready for bed. Simon pulled Johnny under the covers, kissed the top of his head, and they both fell asleep wrapped in each other's embrace.

Johnny woke up alone, warm sunlight streaming through the window, and the events of yesterday flashed through his mind. He didn't even try to smother his grin. As he opened Simon's bedroom door, intent on making himself a cup of coffee, he was greeted with the unmistakable sound of someone getting fucked within an inch of their lives, their moans drifting up the house's staircase, and he quickly exchanged his red bracelet for yellow.

When he reached the bottom step and turned to the kitchen, his jaw dropped at the sight. Price had Gaz bent over the kitchen island, both stark naked except for their bright green bracelets, Price's cock buried to the hilt in Gaz's ass. Simon stood on the other side, clothed in a soft black shirt, black boxers, and a yellow bracelet to match Johnny's. His elbows were braced on the counter out of morning laziness instead of sexual pleasure, and he held Price's gaze easily as they chatted. Every once in a while, one of them would sip from the steaming mugs next to them, or Gaz would let out a truly pornographic moan, but for the most part, it looked utterly domestic, as if it were entirely normal, their usual morning routine. With a jolt, Johnny realized that it was and now, it was his too.

When Simon noticed him standing in the doorway, his eyes automatically flicked down to his wrist, checking the color of his bracelet before his face split in a grin. Johnny knew it wasn't a reward for changing it; Simon would've grinned at his arrival even if he had been wearing a red bracelet, but it felt like warm validation in his chest nonetheless.

"I made you coffee," he said, pushing himself upright and nudging one of the mugs across the marble counter. His words drew Price and Gaz's attention, and they turned to greet him with warm smiles of their own. Gaz even raised his head slightly, lifting a hand to wave lazily before his eyes rolled back in his head in tandem with one of Price's slow thrusts. Johnny stepped fully into the kitchen, tucking himself easily against Simon's side when the man raised his arm in invitation. He sipped the coffee and groaned at the taste.

"Good?" Price asked, and Johnny nodded.

"Better be," Simon grumbled good-naturedly. "Spent a bloody fortune on that coffee maker, old man."

"Switch that bracelet out and I'll show you how old I am, you muppet," Price said with a laugh.

"Might take you up on that," Simon said, the arm wrapped around Johnny's shoulders tightening as his eyes hazed over slightly.

"Speaking of age," Gaz mumbled, "I'm not getting any younger here."

"Poor baby," Price cooed. "You just woke up, don't tell me you're tired already."

"Tired of you yappin' instead of puttin' your fuckin' back into it," Gaz slurred, earning a chuckle from the three men standing around him. Johnny choked on his coffee when Price dropped one of the hands on Gaz's hips to wrap around Gaz's cock, hidden by the countertop but Gaz's deep, drawn-out moan was unmistakable. Price's thrusts sped up, too, each slap of his hips against Gaz's ass pulling a breathless whine out of the younger man. Saliva pooled on the countertop where his cheek was pressed against the cool marble, his mouth open in a desperate attempt to draw in as much oxygen as possible while Price did his level best to punch every air molecule from his lungs with his cock alone.

It was the hottest thing Johnny had ever seen. By the time Gaz came with a high-pitched keen, Johnny's coffee was entirely forgotten and he was hard in his sweatpants. He didn't notice how heavily he was breathing until Simon's hand came to rest at the nape of his neck, his nose finding the sensitive spot behind his ear.

"Alright, Johnny?"

Johnny could only nod, transfixed by the sight in front of him. Price pulled out and dropped to his knees, pulling Gaz's cheeks apart with his strong hands, undoubtedly checking for any injuries. He soothed Gaz's displeased whines with slow, firm strokes of his palms against the man's ass and thighs, then stood and pulled Gaz upright.

"Gonna get this one in the shower," he said, obviously directing his words towards Simon and Johnny, but his attention never wavered from the man in his arms.

Once they disappeared up the stairs, Johnny half-turned and half-collapsed against Simon, resting his temple against the taller man's collarbone, sharp even through the soft shirt.

"Jesus wept," he swore, and Simon chuckled as he pressed a kiss to the top of Johnny's mohawk. "Is it always that..."

"Hot?" Simon guessed. "Usually, yeah."

Johnny didn't know how he was going to survive.

Over the course of several months, he settled into the routine of the house. There was a clear dynamic, one that he quickly found his place in. Gaz and Price had been the original couple, so they were the most comfortable with each other, and they could usually be found wrapped in or around each other. It wasn't out of the ordinary to find Gaz cockwarming Price as the older man talked on the phone or folded laundry, and it was equally common to find Price bent over the back of the couch, impaled on Gaz's cock as the younger man played video games. Simon had been the newest addition before Johnny, and it was obvious that Price had been the one to bring him into the fold. He exclusively bottomed for Price and exclusively topped for Gaz, and both left him sated and satisfied.

As for Johnny... he found his niche in being anything anyone wanted him to be. He and Simon had already found their rhythm as switches, so he was completely unsurprised by Simon's preferences in the house, even if he didn't adhere to the same strictness that Simon did. He had no qualms about eating his breakfast around the broad span of Gaz's shoulders as the man squirmed in his lap, nor did he hold any reservations about letting Price sink to his knees to take him in his mouth as he and Gaz played mario kart in the living room. The first time that Simon had seen Price submit so easily to Johnny had been the single most erotic afternoon of Johnny's life and had left him unable to walk without limping for several days.

He spent most of his time with Simon, the two of them sleeping in the same room more often than not, but he maintained his own space, curating his bedroom to his own tastes, ensuring that he always had a comforting place to retreat to if he needed to. Whenever any of them wore their red bracelets--a fairly frequent occurence, Johnny learned, considering his own slowly growing sense of comfort and the collective traumas of all four of them--the entire house simmered down to calm domesticity. They would play video games or watch movies, fully clothed but often pressed together in a puddle of limbs and warmth. Johnny learned that they were all hopelessly competitive, which led to some borderline violent game nights, but they always ended in laughter and soft kisses pressed to developing bruises gifted by flying elbows and knees. Strip poker was their favorite game, when everyone was wearing their green bracelets, and Johnny very quickly learned that he and Gaz would never stand a chance against the two older men, which was often more fun anyway.

A year after moving in, Gaz came home one day with a blinding grin that only got wider when he caught sight of Johnny reclined on the couch, his back pressed against Simon's chest, his legs spread obscenely over Simon's thighs. Simon's cock was nestled firmly inside of him and his arms were wrapped firmly around his bare chest, both of them holding video game controllers and focusing intently on the TV. Price was knelt between both pairs of their legs, his arms on either side of their thighs, his mouth wrapped around Johnny's cock, warming him just as well as Johnny was warming Simon.

At the sound of his entrance, Simon and Johnny paused their game and looked up, smiling in greeting. The look on his face, though, piqued their interest, and Simon raised a questioning brow.

"I went on a date today," Gaz said, unable to wipe the grin off of his face. "His name is Gary, and I think you guys will really like him."

Price lifted his head, pulling off of Johnny's cock with a lewd pop, and wiped his mouth and mustache with the back of his hand before turning to Gaz.

"You thinkin' about introducin' us?"

"I'd like to," Gaz confirmed. "We have an extra bedroom..."

"Is this how quickly you wanted to adopt me after our first date?" Johnny asked, turning his head to press the question into Simon's temple.

"Yeah, pretty much," Simon replied with a shrug. "Took you a bit to come 'round to the idea, but we were willing to wait for you."

"What do you say, lovebirds?" Price said, turning to the two men on the couch. "Open to adding to our numbers?"

"Five's a good number, sir," Simon said.

"Five's my favorite number," Johnny added, and Gaz held up his phone with a giggle.

"I'll invite him out for coffee," he said eagerly, his fingers already flying over the keyboard. As soon as the text was--presumably--sent, he tossed his phone onto the carpeted floor, toed off his shoes, and collapsed onto the couch. Simon resumed their game and Price resumed his cockwarming, causing Gaz to groan.

"You guys are no fun," he complained. "Left me with nothing to do."

"Play with us," Johnny said, motioning to the spare controller on the table. "If you win, I'm sure Price would be willing to give you a prize."

He felt Price's groan more than he heard it as Gaz scrambled to connect the other controller, easily falling back into their good-natured competitiveness, and he wondered--not for the first time--how he got so lucky. He had three partners who adored him and each other, who were devoted to taking care of him and each other. He had one cock inside of him, had his own cock inside someone else, and would probably have more than that by the end of the night, if Gaz's hungry gaze was any indication. Before long, there would likely be a fifth, because Gaz was an excellent judge of character, and if he liked someone, the rest of the house was sure to as well. Johnny couldn't wait.

He tilted his head to the side, catching Gaz's eye, and the two of them had the same thought at the same time. Johnny paused the game, ignoring Simon's sound of distress in favor of tossing his controller to the side and tangling his fingers in Price's hair, the only warning he got before Johnny was flexing his hips, simultaneously lifting himself off of Simon's cock and pushing his own deeper into Price's throat. Simon's disappointed groan morphed quickly into one of pure lust as Gaz surged forward to lick into his mouth. Johnny set a brutal pace, alternating between fucking into Price's mouth and sinking deep onto Simon's cock with every movement. It felt like heaven, especially with the sound of Simon and Gaz panting into each other's mouths in between kisses just behind him.

Simon and Gaz let their hands wander, over each other, over Johnny, and then their mouths started wandering too. Lips pressed against any bare skin they could reach, which was a lot, and he threw his head back against Simon's shoulder, baring his neck and giving them more room to work, which they took full advantage of. Gaz worked his way down Johnny's chest, licking and sucking every inch of skin from his neck to his hips, paying close attention to his nipples and the sensitive skin just above his hipbones. Simon, meanwhile, laved his tongue over the back and side of Johnny's neck, latching on like a vampire, leaving dark bruises in his wake.

When he came, it was down Price's throat, clenching tightly around Simon's cock, moaning into Gaz's mouth, and he'd never felt more cherished in his entire life.

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Family is who you choose (USWNT x Adhd Reader)

Continuation of Just tell them

This is a combination of these requests: One, two

I had a shit day at work so you guys get a fic! This was requested a while ago. Hope you enjoy!

4.7k words

So I had forgotten to take my medication again today. I hadn't been able to sleep until late and slept through my alarm. It left me in a rush to get ready which meant I forgot my meds. Once again it was too late by time I realised. I was already dreading the day, my mind would be all over the place, but maybe it would be slightly better now that the team knew. 

The first problem of the day was when I got told off by the coaches. I wasn't sure what I had done, all I had been doing was playing with a ball while I listened to them. It helped me actually focus on what they were saying. 

"Y/n laps now."

"What did I do?"

Ali put her hand on my arm, "Just do them."

I stepped back, feeling myself getting defensive, "I didn't do anything though."

"Y/n-"

My eyes stung as angry tears tried to escape. When sensory overload starts happening, I was more irritable and emotional. I was already overstimulated, so it wasn't a surprise at how annoyed I was getting. Especially when I was being punished for seemingly nothing. All it did was bring me back to my childhood, where I was constantly in trouble for things I couldn't help or didn't even do. I wasn't one to openly display emotions that weren't good so I shook Ali off and walked away, "Whatever."

The rest of practice, I did my best to listen to the coaches and spoke up when needed, but other then that, I ignored everyone. I was still upset, but I also just needed space so I wouldn't get distracted. I didn't need to get in anymore trouble. Once practice finished, I made it to the locker room before everyone else and instantly went to shower. 

Ali sat down on the bench in front of me as I was putting my things back in my bag. I tried to ignore her, but she pulled my bag away to get my attention, "What's wrong?"

I shrugged it off, grabbing my bag back, "Nothing. I'm fine."

"Ally said when you get quiet, you're likely either over stimulated or upset. We just want to help, talk to us."

Obviously, I wasn't getting out of this one so I took a deep breath to stop myself snapping and sat down next to her, "I'm both. My mind is a mess and I got in trouble for nothing."

"Y/n, you weren't listening, that's wh-"

"I was though! I could have told you pretty much everything he said. I'm not like you, I can't just sit still and listen. If I'm not doing something, my mind runs wild and I can't focus, I can't listen. No one bothered to listen to me though so yeah I'm a bit upset about it."

Ali sighed, pulling me into her side and kissing my temple, "I'm sorry Y/n, I shouldn't have made assumptions. We can talk to coach, explain that you need to be doing something, but you're still listening."

I felt a bit better that Ali actually listened instead of just dismissing me, "That would be good."

One of the girls started playing music, I ended up being dragged up to dance with them. I avoided being touched, that only increased my sensory overload, but I did sing loudly moving around the room without a care in the world. Despite having just finished practice, I had a lot of energy. 

Eventually, it was time to head back to the hotel, but before we could leave I blurted out, "I want to play on the swings. Can we go to the park?"

The girls looked at me for a second before Emily grinned, looking at veterans, "Yeah can we?"

A few of the other younger players all agreed, giving them the same pleading look that I was. After a few seconds, Ali sighed, "Of course you can."

I squealed, jumping up and down before jumping into Ali's arms, "Yes!"

Pretty much the entire team had come with me to the park. I was a bit surprised, they likely had better things to do than watch a 24 year old run around a park. Despite that, some of the younger girls played with me while everyone else watched, laughing and smiling. Besides Ally and maybe one other close friend, I had never had people who willingly went to the park with me and didn't judge me for it. Now they knew about my ADHD, had never judged me for it and were always supportive, I was starting to be more myself around them. It was still a work in progress, but I was getting there slowly. An hour and a bit later, the girls dragged me back to the hotel for dinner. 

It was team bonding night, normally I didn't mind it, I actually quite enjoyed it, but today I was dreading it. I had mostly been able to push through it today, to control the sensory overload, but everything was getting too overwhelming at the moment. I knew I wouldn't be able to sit through a movie or pay attention to any games they may want to play. Ali sat down next to me, hand going to my knee to stop it from bouncing, "We're going to watch a movie, I know you're probably a bit over stimulated so you can play Legos."

My head shot up at the mention of Lego, before confusion seeped in. I didn't have any Lego here, "Lego? What Lego?"

"Here. We got you this today." Alex pulled out a bag. There was a Doctor who Lego set which looked like the inside of a Tardis and there was a Jurassic world one that included a mansion and multiple different dinosaurs. It was two of my favourite shows/movies. I couldn't stop myself as I dropped the bag on the bed and jumped up and down clapping my hands. I was incredibly excited, the hardest part would be choosing which one to do first. 

"Thank you, thank you!! I'm so excited." I gave Alex a quick hug before pulling away and playing with my fingers suddenly a bit nervous. I wanted to hang out with them, but I also really wanted to call Ally. We hadn't talked much today and I missed her, "Um can I play with them in my room?"

I saw concern flash across the veterans faces before Ali stepped forward, "Of course you can Y/n. Is everything okay?"

"Everything's just a bit much at the moment. Sensory overload or whatever. I think I'm going to call Ally, she can always quieten my mind."

Emily looked confused as she spoke up, "But you seem so excited."

"I am about the Legos, they look like so much fun, but sometimes the hyper activeness can get overwhelming. It may look like fun, but I can't control it and it just gets too much and I-I-I-"

Ali quickly cut me off, "It's okay, is there anything we can do to help?"

"A hug? Maybe Tierna?" Ever since we met, Tierna always brought me comfort. She gave amazing hugs and I was always able to relax even if it was just a little bit. Tierna smiled, opening her arms for me to fall into. It helped me relax a little bit, but I wished it was Ally. Even just hearing her voice calmed my mind.

After a few seconds of hugging Tierna, I jumped back up, "I'm going to play with my Lego!"

"We'll check on you later."

I set up at the desk before quickly facetiming Ally. She answered instantly. As usual she was sitting on the floor with papers all around her. She always worked more when I was away because I wasn't there to distract her.

Hey baby

My mind slowed down, body relaxing as I heard her voice, Hi love

You okay?

I forgot my meds this morning, I was just getting overwhelmed. Oh guess what!

You love me?

So much, but look the team got me Legos!! I have a doctor who one and a Jurassic world one!

That's awesome baby, are you going to do those now? What one are you going to do first?

Um, I think maybe the doctor who one. I was thinking I could do this with you on the phone? Unless you'll get bored?

Of course we can stay on call, I'll never get bored of being able to just look up and see you.

Thank you, tell me about your day?

It was sameold same old, but I have a story to tell you

I zoned out completely, my focus on the Legos and Ally's voice. It was just as much fun as I expected it to be. I knew it would be hard to pull myself away from it now that I had started. I don't know how long had passed, but I looked up at my phone, freezing when I saw Ally wasn't wearing anything with water slowly dripping off her.

Whoa, when did you get naked?

Ally laughed, turning to look at me quickly, About 15 minutes ago when I told you I was having a shower. I'm quite surprised the sound didn't make you look up.

You are gorgeous baby, but I was very much invested in my Legos. I'm almost finished this one!

I know baby, I also know you would have looked up in a heartbeat if I said I was getting naked, but I wanted you to have fun with your Lego. It's looking very good.

You are absolutely correct. You do look incredible though Ally.

Thank you, you're not so bad yourself. I expect to be taken with you next time you shower. How have things been since the team found out about your ADHD?

They're protective, but they make sure I take my meds most of the time anyway, try to help when I get over stimulated and I can just be myself. We all went to the park today because I wanted to. They're starting to work out what it actually means for me and how to help without going to far. I guess I need to thank you, I know you gave them tips and tricks about it.

Do I get to say I told you so now? They care about you Y/n, they just want to help, I just want to help, it's one of the only ways I knew how when we're apart.

I'm not upset about it Ally. I appreciate it. I know they care and I'm starting to open up more. I'm still trying to get past the thoughts and feelings of my childhood, there's still a lot I hide from them.

And that's okay, you're getting there though, you are letting yourself be more open, more yourself and I'm so proud of you.

I wouldn't have done any of this without you.

All I did was help you along when you needed it.

Before I could reply, the door opened which made me scramble to grab my phone as Ally still wasn't wearing anything. Ashlyn, Ali and Alyssa walked in, giving me a suspicious look as I turned around to face them, still hiding my phone. They must have got the key from Tierna.

Ashlyn tried to look what was on my screen, but I quickly blocked her, "What are you hiding?"

"Nothing."

She scoffed, giving me a pointed look, "Well that's a lie."

"Is that Ash?"

Ashlyn gave me a confused look, almost tilting her head like a puppy, "Why are you hiding Ally?"

I cleared my throat, glancing at the screen quickly before looking back at them, "She uh, she's well naked."

"Naked? You're to young for stuff like that!"

"I'm 24!"

"You're innocent!"

"I'm far from innocent! Ask Ally."

"Gross."

I laughed, along with Ally before explaining, "She just had a shower."

"I'm dressed now."

The girls had grown to really like Ally and I knew she was going to be taken from me so I blew her a kiss, "Bye baby. I love you."

---

For some reason I was struggling a lot more this camp than I normally would. While taking my meds did help me focus most of the time, I was restless, I wasn't sleeping well, and I found myself getting more over stimulated and irritable because of it. The team had noticed and were trying their best to help. They would distract me when possible, giving me things to do such as colouring or something to do with my hands. They had learnt when I needed a tight hug or to be left alone, when I needed quiet and when music helped. It had taken then a while and they didn't always get it right, but they were trying. 

Today was a particularly hard day. I had slept really badly, I was overstimulated pretty much the minute I woke up. Normally a shower helped, but this morning it barely helped. Every little sound felt like it was enhanced, all the clothes I tried to put on except my sports bra, felt like little pins pressing against my skin and suffocating me. I didn't know how I was going to make it through breakfast. I just felt like I was going to cry at any second. Tierna watched as I tried shirt after shirt, each one feeling the same way. Eventually, Tierna took the shirt from my hand, "It's okay. You don't have to wear a shirt right now. Ali is going to bring you breakfast and we're just going to stay in the room for a while."

"T-thank you."

"Can I help in anyway?"

"Um, maybe a hug."

Tierna wrapped her arms around me tightly, my mind calmed down a bit as I relaxed against her. It wasn't enough to make everything stop, but it was enough that I didn't want to stop hugging her. Before she could pull away I quickly asked, "Please don't stop."

"Come here," Tierna said quietly, guiding me so I was lying down on the bed next to her, head on her chest as she held me tightly. I heard the facetime call tone before Tiernas phone was placed in front of me and Ally appeared. 

Hi my love 

Hi Al, aren't you at work?

I am, but I wanted to call and check in 

I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me when you should be working

Don't do that. You're having a bad day, I'm going to take a few minutes to make sure you're okay. What's going on baby?

Everything's just wrong today. I wish you were here. Tiernas great, but she's not you

I know baby, me too. I'm glad she's helping a little bit at least. Thank you T

We talked for a few more minutes before Ally had to go to a meeting and the other Ali arrived with breakfast. I didn't feel like completely falling apart anymore which was good, but it still wasn't great. Ali gave me a tight hug before leaving while Tierna turned to me, "Do you want me to stay?"

"It's okay. I think some time alone will be good."

"Okay. Text if you need me. Come down if you want to, but you don't have to."

"Thank you T."

I stayed in my room for most of the day except when I went on a short walk around the hotel gardens. The girls brought me lunch and stayed for a little bit to watch tv with me. They weren't their usual loud and chaotic selves which I appreciated more than they would ever know. I was much more relaxed by the end of the day and I was able to join them for dinner. I hadn't heard from Ally again which sucked because she always helped, but I knew she was busy today and I couldn't expect her to always be around to help me. When 8pm rolled around and I still hadn't heard from her, I started to get worried. It wasn't normal to not hear from her for this long. I knew she was likely just working or out with friends. Given my current state though I was starting to let the self doubt creep in. Maybe she had finally had enough of me. 

Ali sat down next to me as I was staring at my phone before it was taken from my hand, "You look like you're ready to murder your phone, what's wrong?"

It was stupid. I knew I was overreacting, I knew Ally would never do anything like what I was thinking. Today though, I couldn't stop it. So I told Ali everything. Ali wrapped her arm around my shoulder before flicking the side of my head, "Stop that. Stop even entertaining the idea. You know Ally would never do anything like what you're thinking. That girl loves you so much even a blind person could see it. You can always text her first, that's allowed."

"She's probably busy. I-I don't want to annoy her."

My temple was flicked again, "Stop that thinking. You don't annoy her when you text her. You don't annoy her full stop. So push that aside and text her."

Y/n: Hey love, I know you're busy, but I just wanted to tell you I love you and make sure you're okay. Look after yourself, don't forget to eat. Call me when you can.

"See, that was easy right?"

"Yes, you were right. Sorry for dumping all this on you."

"Never apologise for that. I'm always here for you."

Ally: Hey baby, I'm sorry I've been out of touch today, it's super busy here. I ate dinner, but I'm still at work. I don't think I'll be able to call again today, I'm exhausted and just planning on falling into bed when I get home, I'll message you before I go to bed. I love you 

Ally had sent a photo of herself sitting at her desk, eyes tired with a matching tired smile. I hated how tired she looked. I hated that I knew most of it was because she wasn't sleeping well without me, the same way I wasn't sleeping well without her, "She's still at work."

"See, I told you so."

---

I was deep in conversation with Lindsey when there was a tap on my shoulder and a squeaky voice coming from behind me, "Hey beautiful, can I get your number?

"No I ha-" I cut myself off as I flung around to find Ally standing there, wide smile forming. I squealed, jumping up and wrapping my legs around her waist, before connecting our lips in a lingering kiss, "Ally!"

"Hey baby."

"How are you here?"

"The girls flew me out."

Once I pulled away, I turned to find the team standing behind us. Tears sprung to my eyes as I looked between each of them, "You guys did this?"

Ali smiled softly, nodding in conformation, "You've been struggling the last little while. We tried to help you, but it wasn't working. We love you, we wanted you to be okay and we figured this was the best way to help. You're allowed to get your own hotel room while she's here as well. Save Tierna from your grossness."

"Thank you guys. I-I love you, all of you. This, this- thank you."

"You're welcome kiddo."

Tierna was in our room and mine and Ally's room wasn't ready yet so Ally and I had snuck off to the meal room to have some time away from the girls. Ally had an excited smile on her face, "Why do you look so excited?"

Ally pulled out a little box, smile growing wider, "I was going to give you this later, but I can't wait. I saw this and thought of you instantly. It's a promise ring, my promise to you that I will always be by your side, my promise that when the time is right, it will be replaced by an engagement ring. I also know you struggle with rings so I put it on a chain. You can decide how you wear it."

"I love you so much Ally, I love this. I really want to try wearing it, it'll just be an adjustment."

I knew I wanted to marry Ally, but I also knew that we weren't quite there yet. Not because we didn't love each other enough or anything, we just wanted to focus on our careers before making that move. "You know I'm going to marry you one day right?"

"I know and I can't wait to marry you Y/n, but I also know the timings not right yet. You're just starting your national career, I'm working on this promotion. It'll happen when the time is right. I have something else for you. It was supposed to be for our anniversary, but there were delays and it took way longer then planned."

Ally gave me a wrapped package, watching me as I carefully unwrapped it. It was a photo album. The first picture was of Ally on my back, matching grins on our faces as we looked at each other. We had only been together for a month or so when that photo was taken, yet it was one of my favourite pictures. There were many different photos from different stages of our relationship and with our friends and family. Beside each photo of us, Ally had written a little message. Like next to a photo we had taken during a beach picnic, Ally was looking at me with so much love in her eyes while I was looking out at the water. Next to it, she had written 'This was the day I knew I had fallen in love with you. The effort you put into surprising me, the way I knew I didn't want it to end, the way my heart raced and butterflies erupted when you looked at me, I knew without a doubt, that I was in love with you.'

Tears stung my eyes as I closed the album, pulling her into a tight hug. I loved her more than anything in this world.  

"I don't understand! How are you so fucking amazing, so god damn cute? You're so understanding and so loving it's not fair! God I love you so much, what did I do to deserve you? You just need to stop because I-" I ranted, much to Ally's amusement, but was cut off by Emily speaking up. I hadn't realised they had shown up.

"Woah, what's going on? Are you two fighting?"

Ally laughed, turning to the other girls, "Quite the opposite actually. Y/n here is apparently annoyed by how cute and loving I am."

"It's very hard to focus on anything other then you and it's not fair. Like how am I supposed to focus on anything other than marrying her when she goes and does shit like this?"

They looked confused at the book I was holding, "A photo album?"

"Look at it."

They flipped through the different photos of Ally and I, reading the little messages she had written, "This is cute."

"I know! And I love it! It's adorable and it makes me just fall for her even more."

"Then what's the problem?"

"It's distracting! I'm supposed to be focusing on my career and all I can think about is running off to make her my wife. It's not fair."

Ally just laughed, arm wrapping around my waist and leaving a lingering kiss on my lips, "You are adorable Y/n. I love you."

"Yeah I love you too." 

"Has this happened before?"

"Yup, mostly when I do something cute. I find it hilarious."

I pulled her into my side, peppering kisses across the side of her face. Then I remembered the Lego I had sitting on the desk in my room. I pulled away quickly, practically jumping up and down with excitement, "Baby come see my Lego!"

Ally laughed as I dragged her away. Ali called from behind us just before we went out of ear shot, "I expect to see you at dinner Y/n."

I stopped in front of my desk, pointing at the nearly finished Tardis, "Look, look, look."

"This is awesome Y/n/n, is it almost finished?"

"Yes, I want to finish it so bad."

"You can work on it now if you want to."

"I really do, but I want to do this more," I pulled her close, connecting our lips in a soft kiss. I relaxed against her, hands slipping under her shirt as hers looped around my neck. Things got a bit heated as Ally's fingers buried in my hair and mine traveled up her back then trailed over her stomach. Ally moaned when my tongue met hers, pulling me impossibly close. I pushed her onto the bed, lips finding her neck as I fumbled with the button on her jeans. 

Just as Ally finished, my phone vibrated in my back pocket, making me pull away. 

Tierna: I gave you as much time as I could to do whatever it is you're doing, but I've been sent to get you. You have 2 minutes before I open the door. Please be decent. 

I laughed, showing Ally the message. She pecked my lips quickly before going to get cleaned up while I opened the door. Tierna was standing just down the hall, "Thank you T."

"Anytime Y/n."

---

I sighed cuddling further into Ally's side, feeling more relaxed than I had since I left for camp. Ally kissed my temple, "You okay baby?"

"You're here so I'm amazing. I missed you Al."

She held me tighter, fingers tracing patterns across my arm, "Me too Y/n. I missed you."

"I hate that I have to travel so much."

"It's part of your job, we make it work."

"I know that, I just wish you could come with me to more camps. Purely for my own selfish reasons of having you around all the time."

Ally rolled over onto her stomach so she was facing me, "You know, if I get this promotion then I'll be able to work from pretty much anywhere most of the time."

"Wait, really?"

"Yup. Which means I could potentially come to more camps with you, if you want to be around me that much that is."

"I fucking love you Ally. There's not a second that goes by that I don't want to be around you, that I don't crave being around you. Marry me Ally. I know we said that we should wait, but I don't want to. I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side. This isn't how I planned it, I don't have a ring and it doesn't have to be now, but right now I want to call you my fiancé. So Ally, will you marry me?"

"Fuck yes, yes I'll marry you Y/n. I don't care about a ring or some elaborate proposal. We could get married in the court house tomorrow for all I care. As long as I get to spend my life with you."

---

I skipped into the meal room, feeling on top of the world and hyperactive, but mostly happy. It wasn't unexpected, I got to marry the girl I was absolutely in love with and I actually slept well for the first time since camp started. 

"Hello ladies," I sung before skipping over to Ally and pecking her lips, "Hello my beautiful fiancé." 

"Hi gorgeous, you're awfully happy this morning."

"Well can you blame me? I get to marry the most beautiful girl in the world, also I slept really well so you get to deal with that."

Ally groaned playfully, "Oh no, however will I cope? Let alone for the rest of our lives."

"Wait, you're engaged?!? I thought you were waiting?" Tobin asked loudly, gathering the attention of everyone in the room.

I couldn't help the wide smile that grew, "I couldn't wait any longer."

Ali hugged me tightly, placing a kiss to my forehead, "I'm so happy for you kid. I'm proud of you."

"Thank you Ali, I need your help," I whispered so no one else could hear. I needed to find the perfect ring for Ally, but I knew I would overthink it too much. I also knew the girls would turn it into something bigger then I needed it to be. 

"Anything."

"I need help finding a ring for Ally."

"Of course I'll help. We can sneak out this afternoon, just me and you."

"Thank you Ali."

Emily jumped on my back, "So when's the wedding?"

I pulled her off, taking the opportunity to pull her in for a noogie, "I don't know."

Ally separated us, barely containing her laugh, "We were thinking a court house wedding."

"No!"

"You have to have a wedding!"

As the girls talked about the wedding, I couldn't help feeling that I had found my family. I had found a group of people that didn't see me as my quirks, hyper activeness, overstimulation or problems. They saw me as me, they supported me for who I was. I had the love of my life and my family. I was truly loved by people I saw as family for maybe the first time in my life. I was happy.

[fic-tion-wri-ter]

"Pain"

Ricky Potts x Misha Bachynskyi

Bad Pain Day

Ride The Cyclone

SFW

Ricky knew he would get a bad pain day soon. One hadn't happened for a bit, so he knew it was bound to happen. He just really didn't want it to happen today, so of course it does. He wakes up and immediately feels his legs seize with pain. Like a heartbeat, the pain comes and fades away. He sets his hand on his knee like it will make it go away. Like he can use his hand to ease the pain. Eventually, he just gives in. He squeezes his eyes shut. It hurt so bad he wants to cry.

"My star, are you okay?", Misha sets a hand on Ricky's head.

Ricky shakes his head no. He forgot Misha was even at his house. He often sneaks in when he can't sleep. That must've been what happened last night. Ricky winces when his focus is brought back to the growing pain in his legs. Misha can tell he's hurting bad.

"Hey, what hurts? I'm gonna go get your meds to help. Show me what hurts Ricky," Misha sits up and brings Ricky up with him.

Ricky points to his leg. Misha nods and stands up. Before he left, Ricky spotted a wet spot on his shirt. Was he crying? Ugh, he didn't want to cry because then he would be babied. His least favorite thing is being babied. Misha rushes back in, holding up a picture on his phone.

"I took picture, show me which ones," Misha turns his phone to Ricky.

There's a whole section of the medicine cabinet just for Ricky. And the bottles were even color coded because apparently he can't read? Sometimes, he hated how much his parents babied him. But right now, he was so grateful for the colored bottles. Because Misha, even though he tries, is not a photographer. Ricky pointed at a few bottles. Purple (for his ADHD), Light Green (his usual joint medication), and Red (his emergency pain meds). Misha rushes back, holding the bottles in his arms. He's more panicked than Ricky is about this.

"So I give you one each of normal meds. What about this one?", Misha holds up the red bottle.

Ricky is in so much pain that he doesn't even want to sign. He holds up one finger. Misha nods and hands Ricky his meds. He's grateful that Misha is helping him. Ricky easily swallows the pills and then lays back down. Misha lays next to him, facing him.

"Oh my poor star, it hurts. Doesn't it? I can tell, come," Misha holds his arms out for Ricky.

Ricky accepts the invitation and buries his face in the boys chest. He feels a puddle under his face but doesn't care. He needs to try and cry the pain away. After what feels like hours of crying, he looks up. Misha is fast asleep. But he's still holding Ricky. Ricky likes the pressure of someone holding him. It grounds him. Ricky smiles and tries to forget about the pain in his legs for just a minute to admire Misha. He looks so peaceful like this.

"I love you." Ricky sloppily signs between him and Misha.

Ricky drifts off to sleep soon after.

——————————————————————

"Rick, Ricky, Rickster wake up," Misha is tapping Ricky's face so he doesn't hurt the boy more.

Ricky blinks a few times and opens his eyes. Misha's still lying with him on the bed. He's so comfortable around him. But he feels sleepy still. He wants to curl back up in the bigger guys arms and fall asleep. Why is he waking him up?

"What?", Ricky signs, slightly grumpy that he was woken up.

"Your parents will be home soon," Misha frowns and pushes the boys' curls back.

Ricky rolls his eyes. He knows if he's still asleep when they get home, it'll result in an immediate hospital visit. He sits up, and the pain in his legs has faded but still lingers. He feels like he's gonna collapse because of how tired he feels.

"Do not worry, I have already put meds away," Misha sits up with the boy.

Ricky sighs and finds his AAC tablet on the bed.

"Have to go home," Ricky presses the buttons.

"I know because I might get dragged to the hospital because you're terribly contagious," Misha rolls his eyes. He knows that his Ricky is not delicate.

The whole Ricky is fragile and contagious act pisses him off. Ricky is his own person. He is confident and strong and so much better than they think he is. He wishes his parents didn't baby him so much. But he doesn't mind it from Mischa sometimes. Misha is standing up now, packing his bag up.

"Kiss bye," Ricky reaches for Misha.

"I know. I didn't forget," Misha presses a kiss to Ricky's lips.

"Bye, bye. I love you," Ricky smiles.

"I love you more. Text me if you need anything," Misha slowly leaves, trying to find his way through the cat army outside of Ricky's door.

He will be back later to sleep again here. It is much safer than his place at home. Ricky grabs his phone and opens YouTube to watch Misha's videos. It's a good distraction from the fading pain.

[luvforemikai]

Bitch i might be

summary ~ just a regular day with the cullens, except the cullens have to deal with your bullshit. Not taking your adhd meds you're extra... active today. Enjoy!

warning ~ cussing and talk of pills

Quotes mentioned -

"Bitch i might be" - Gucci Mane

Music mentioned (in order) -

-----------------------------------------

"PINK WIG THICK ASS GIVE EM WHIP LASH, I THINK BIG GET CASH MAKE EM BLINK FAST, LOOK AT WHAT YOU JUST SAW THIS IS WHAT YOU LIVE FOR AHHHHHHHH IM A MOTHERFUCKIN MONSTAA" - "Y/N KEEP IT DOWN UP THERE!" rosalie yells, absolutely tired of your mess. You ignore her though and keep rapping while jumping on your bed, which causes your dad, carlisle, to come up and ask you himself. "I know you like to sing or rap or whatever it is that you do just please try to keep it down" he says softly. "Okay!" You say, but continue to rap your nicki minaj playlist until esme yells for a snack. You run out of your door aggressively, heading downstairs towards the kitchen singing beyonce. "DONT YOU EVER FOR A SECOND GET TO THINKINNNN YOU'RE IRREPLACEABLE!!". Jasper rolls his eyes while altering your mood , making you wanna stop singing and sit on the couch watching one of your favorite movies playing, "rush hour". Carlisle scolded jasper for what he did but he didnt care, he just enjoyed the peace and quiet while you ate your burritos esme made.

When you were finished you did an awkwardly flexible flip off the couch to go bother your parents carlisle and esme. "Can i have a friend over?".. "no, not while you're off your meds" esme says "okay but like the doctor said himself i should wait 48 hours to take my meds again because of that weird thing that was going on with my heart so i think I'll be alright.".. esme gave in "fine, which one"..."Nat?" Esme shakes her head "no absolutely not" "whyyy???" You say disappointed " i dont like her, so no. Pick somebody else"... "fine, uh, jasmine?"... "sure." Esme says while giving you a look of suspicion. "AAH thank you!" You say while hugging her.

Its 12pm and Jasmine comes in. everybody welcomes her and you go up to your room. You stay in your room with her for a few hours til you guys go downstairs to get something to eat. She's sitting on the couch singing.. "rock it dont stop it everybody get on the floor. Crank the party up we about to get it on .." while you bust out in dance moves, pulling from all those hiphop rehearsals you went to when you were little. You guys bust out laughing after a minute of it considering how random it was. She goes home a little while after.

Its 8pm and esme makes dinner for you. In return you play music on the television. "Baby boy you stay on my mind fulfull my fantasyyy i think about you all the time i see you in my dreamsss" you sing loudly while whining your hips. "I think she's going crazy without her meds" Edward says jokingly "Bitch i might be" you say quickly after while carlisle tells you to watch your language.

The food is done and its finally time to take your meds. Those 48 hours were rough. You slept a whole day and was active the next, you were more than ready. You still had trouble taking pills because of your borderline fear of choking so you took them with some icecream and was out like a light the next hour. You had Jasper to thank for that along with the crushed up melatonin Emmett put in your food. "Goodnight y/n" is all you heard when you were dosing off in Carlisle's arms while he took you up to your room.

[copperbadge]

I had a very successful and entertaining day today, as you guys can probably tell from the posts I made. There's a few more queued posts of stuff I didn't get to post in-situ, so enjoy that!

Some anecdotes I did not post about from today:

-- I can't remember the last time I queued for a museum. Mostly because if it's not one of "my" museums, like the Field or the Art Institute where I know the best ways in, I'm attending on a weekday deliberately so that I am not amongst the crowds. The line to get into the British Museum was a full block long, but to be fair it only took me ten minutes from opening to get inside. I was mostly amused by the people who a) didn't understand how museum entry works or b) didn't understand how to stand in a line without also blocking foot traffic on the rest of the sidewalk.

-- Almost got in a fight with someone, a definite first for me in a museum. I got salty with a guy who touched a sculpture when he knew he shouldn't, and he got up in my face, and I think genuinely the fact that I knew what the sculpture was called and he didn't confused him so badly he backed down. So if you're looking to defuse a situation via confusion, the phrase "Hey, don't fucking touch the Lamassu and we won't have a problem" worked for me.

-- The British Museum is great but among other issues (looted objects, weird relics of museum-specific imperialism, etc) it does suffer from poor display design in places. I'm okay with that, I kind of like old museums that are a little fucked up, even as I acknowledge that old fucked-up museums also have old fucked-up messaging. They appear to be trying on that front, but they could use a display placard overhaul. At one point I found an object in a case that appeared to be a carved human leg bone, and while I'm not a Bone Specialist there was also absolutely no placard about the bone at all. (I looked it up in the collection later using other objects in the case as reference, and it's just noted as "bone".)

-- I did have a great time overall; I saw most of the museum and then had a fancy meal, as documented. I was especially pleased to get to sample their coronation chicken since I collect tastings of coronation chicken, and I think they either used molasses in it or the bread had some, and either way it's grist for my mill as I start to develop The Chicken Salad War. After lunch I went on the hunt for a few last things, but I could feel myself getting tired and Becoming Unmedicated so I decided to leave a little early, which was the right choice, and gave me a little time to do some exploring.

-- @neil-gaiman did a post a while ago about stuff to see in London which I saved, and while I mostly planned my own journey, I did stop at Atlantis Books on his recommendation, which was well worth it. The woman working the till left me alone until I was ready to buy my book, then praised my choice (always a good move) and made a few minutes' small talk about my visit from America while she was ringing me up. Also I have never seen such a variety of Tarot decks for sale in my life. It was extremely impressive given the entire shop is roughly the size of my bedroom in Chicago.

All in all an excellent day out in London. Tomorrow I'm traveling to meet up with a friend, so probably fewer photos, but day after tomorrow I'm bound for Amsterdam so expect Rijksmuseum photos! I did not get into the Vermeer exhibit sadly, but I still want to see the museum and I'm on a quest for freshly made stroopwaffels and authentic gjetost, so I'm excited for the journey. I thought this trip might be one small anxiety after another -- would I be okay on the plane, would I get on the right trains, etc -- but I'm feeling more confident now, and I think between my early-bird tendencies and the ADHD meds I kicked the jet lag pretty quickly. I'm off to bed in a few, because tomorrow is an early day, so I guess we'll find out then how much I really kicked it....

[bomberqueen17]

another sewing diary: bike shorts

ok i'm only doing this sewing diary because it's funny.

so i'm still working on dialing in my ADHD meds, right? and I trialed Ritalin and it went poorly because i had a cold and was on vacation and could not establish a routine and could not master taking them on an empty stomach and just. generally could not get any meaningful data. but i took some and eventually ran out of pills and finally, well off-schedule, managed to get another three minute, $300 telehealth appointment to get more pills. And he was like well, let's try a higher dose. Wellllll the same dose but more of it. Take two of them, one first thing in the morning and the second before lunch or in early afternoon.

heh. heh heh. i did look it up and the research suggests you don't really have to take the pills half an hour before eating, so i have managed to take at least one every day. I can never remember the second dose though. I just can't do it. It's absolutely not happening. I'd hoped the pills would give me the executive function to remember them but it is not happening.

But I did manage the second dose, today. And. Well.

Here's how it went, sewing these bike shorts. it's the Wickham Shorts/Skort/Skirt pattern, and I had already cut out the pieces.

Firstly I'd made an error in cutting when I did it on Wednesday. I'd cut the gusset twice, instead of the pocket piece. You only need one gusset, but I'd cut four. So I had to go back to the fabric and cut two pocket pieces. I managed that, though. No problem. I have spare gussets now, maybe I'll use them for lining the gusset in future versions? Why not. Can't hurt. It is nice soft cotton mesh.

I paused, and watched the sewalong, because I had a suspicion I was going to need all the help I could get. The written directions just... weren't clear to me, and I couldn't tell if it was the directions or me or what but. Watching the video helped. I thought. It seemed clearer, anyway.

First I sewed the fronts and backs together along the crotch curve. Then I assembled the side panels with pockets. I triple-checked that I had the slanted pocket panels mirror-imaged before I finished their upper hem with elastic. When I was done, I'd made two identical ones, and they were not in fact mirror imaged. D'oh. Oh well it's a wearable muslin so whatever. I did manage to assemble two different side panels with pockets, at least, so they could each go on a different side of my body. This took like, everything I had, but i got it done.

Then I was meant to match the side panels up to the front panel. The notches were wildly misaligned, and I was like ok that is Not right. So i hauled out the paper pattern piece, and was like..... ...... ......

ok so I had sewn the front panels together upside-down. i'd connected the seams of what were supposed to be the legs, instead of the crotch. Wrong side of the crotch curve. Fuck. So I cut the seam off and sewed it the other way, and set the fixed panel aside and then... picked up... the front panel

what had I just been working on????????

Oh I'd just cut apart and re-sewed the back panel. Well shit. I redid the front panel, genuinely not sure how the back panel had wound up in my hands-- I hadn't checked it yet, I don't know if I'd sewn it together upside down, I might have to cut the seam off (I was using a serger so no way was I unpicking shit and do it yet again.

But then I looked at the back panel and compared it to the paper pattern and it was correct. So it had been wrong, and I had fixed it purely on accident. OK cool. ???? sure whatever, we're good now, onward.

So now. Now I could attach the side panels to the front panel. Okay. I lined one side up and checked and re-checked and re-re-checked that it was right sides to right sides, so the seam would be on the wrong side, so it would be correct. I sewed it and

nope it was on the wrong side I had to cut the side panel back off the front. At least this was the opposite side from the earlier error, so I wasn't cutting off the same seam allowance.

Tried again. Got it all lined up and was about to sew it, presser foot down. Looked one last time and no. It was upside-down. Wrong way up entirely. I'd cut the notches off and had only remarked them feebly, so. Hang on. Backed out. Triple-checked again.

This time I got the side panel on correctly. Then the other side panel. Wait-- no it was right. I got it on right. This was now two seams in a row I'd been correct on, so this was a new record for the day. I rejoiced briefly.

(I had considered giving up and going to do something else, but I should specify, I wasn't really mad about any of this. For some reason I thought it was funny. So I was like, I hadn't thought it was possible fuck up in some of those ways I fucked up, so I should keep going to see if I can violate space time in any new exciting ways. This could be how we make some major mathematical breakthrough in this world, after all.)

Now I had to attach the side panels to the back panel, and I took my sweet time checking that over and over again. And sure enough, I managed to get that right sides together after all. I fucked up one of the seams and had to redo a bunch of it but like it was the right direction, the needle just drifted off the seam allowance. That's not abnormal at all, and I got it fixed and it worked fine.

Then I had to attach the gusset, and the directions seemed like they were going to help me, but then they failed to specify how I was going to orient the gusset in any meaningful way, so. I muddled through, almost fucked it up, didn't. Hurrah! And then I got the gusset attached on the other side. And I didn't fuck it up either!!!!

Then Chita came and sat on my work, as I was attempting to figure out the waistband elastic.

caaaat taaaaax

[image description: my beautiful elderly gray cat is sitting with all four paws daintily planted atop the white bunched-up fabric of my work in front of my sewing machine and next to my serger, very squarely so that I cannot do anything with it and must pay attention to and pet her. She looks unimpressed, but I happen to know that her ears cocked and eyes half shut is actually a happy face for her. She is purring. And shedding. A lot.]

Eventually she was satisfied, and moved on, so I got the waistband elastic sort of wonkily sewed on as per directions. And i tried the shorts on and they do fit. My first try-on before the elastic wasn't impressive but with the elastic they did snug up and look correct, and I could throw my phone in the pocket and not have them fall down or even really sag. So. Bueno!

Pattern approved, I'll make more in nicer fabric (this cotton mesh from dharma was cheap but sort of a nightmare, very insubstantial, too stretchy, obsessed with rolling, really difficult to corral) and I will try harder with the elastic so it's not wonky and then I will have some very nice bike shorts. I also feel confident that I could attach the skirt if I wanted, so I'll make one of those at some point too. That part of the pattern is dead simple so I don't feel the need to muslin it.

But boy that was a real wild ride of Fucking Everything Up. I'm not sure whether the Ritalin is to blame or what, I just genuinely could not actually wrangle my attention span enough to actually focus enough to tell the difference between right sides together and wrong sides together. To be fair there was no discernible right or wrong side to this fabric, but I don't think that would have saved me, I genuinely could not tell which way the thing should go so it didn't matter how many times I checked. I'm never great at it, to be fair. But I do manage it more times than not, usually. Except today I guess.

It was an adventure, for sure. Really idk what role the Ritalin is playing in this. I can tell you it's no miracle drug for me, alas. It doesn't make me jittery or keep me from sleeping or do any of the things it says are side effects, it just has not made me discernably less absent-minded or easily-confused or scatterbrained. So I'm not sure what it's supposed to be doing but. That was what I wanted it to do, unfortunately.

[kat-in-a-pan]

So I’ve been living with undiagnosed adhd for my whole life, and I didn’t realize it was adhd until my mom was diagnosed and other people in my family. I had learned from a young age how to cope with it and still succeed at school and overall life. But once college started it got out of hand and I couldn’t focus for more than 5 minutes without needing to fidget or do something else. I finally found a doctor that actually listened to my concerns and actually cared about finding ways to help me. I bit the bullet and decided to start adhd meds to see if they would help. I got them yesterday and today I took them for the first time… guys… I’m crying in the restroom at school cause I could immediately feel when the meds started to work, the pressure on my chest released and my brain just chilled out… you’re telling me that I could’ve felt better way earlier… if my other doctors just listened to me and not put it anxiety and depression (now I know I have both, but adhd in women can manifest as depression and anxiety, especially if it’s not being handled for a long time) but oh my god… I can actually focus for longer periods of time now, I actually had the motivation to get school work done way before the due date instead of the day it’s due… this is going to change how I handle school ESPECIALLY NURSING SCHOOL and life in general….

I guess what I’m trying to get at is, if you can, PLEASE find a doctor that will actually listen and help you, instead of brushing you off… I thought all doctors were bad (ironic since I’m in nursing school) but going to a private practice has helped me change my life one step at a time. Friends, please take this advice as it’s not too late to ever start working on your physical and mental health. Mental health gets pushed to the side so much and it’s time to make a change…

[seannessy]

*sigh* oh to live in a world where american car manufacturers remembered that you could put more than 1 color on things...

oh to live in a world where american car manufacturers remembered that eggshell white looks good actually...

oh to live in a world where american car manufacturers are not going senile and forgetting all of the reasons why cars looked cool to begin with...

the post was originally going to end here but i just took my ADHD meds and i need you all to know that i live in a city where we have a yearly event to celebrate old cars that actually looked really good and everyone in this city fucking LOVES cool old cars and every now and again you can just see someone driving around the beachside roads on a vehicle straight out of a Guardians of the Galaxy flashback. cars used to look GOOD. this isn't a generational style thing, look at these.

even if this kind of car isn't your style i get that, but you can surely see that there is at least a vision here, there was a passion in the people who made them back then, cars weren't just churned out willy nilly to make the line go up.

well okay yeah they definitely were but there was still some art there. now i need to ask you. look at modern cars for a second and just let the mundane-ness of it all sit in for a while

ohhhh yeah can you feel it? have you soaked it in yet? all of those sanded down soulless smooth edges? all of those monocolor coats of paint? the fact that the only thing you can really tell is substantially different is the kind of wheel each car has if even that?

now i need to ask you, in 80 years do you think there are going to be any events to commemorate these kinds of cars? do you think anyone is going to take time out of their retirement to appreciate these wonders of modern technology enough to create a whole ass city-wide convention to show appreciation for any component of these cars except maybe some of the internal mechanics and engines???

now admittedly selection bias is a thing here, its not like these cars being celebrated in my city are the average car, those are Woodies, which are a very specific artistic style of car. so maybe we need to look at the average car from back then. lets see, the Woody style was started around the 30s, so what does the average car look like around the 30s?

well a quick little research says that the biggest automotive manufacturer around then was General Motors (or at least a very big one), and a quick little Wikipedia stroll shows their platforms from back then. Behold! i show you cars from back when people cared about design!

Oldsmobile Series 60

1930 GM Marquette

1940 Pontiac 'Deluxe' 6

I know that last one says Deluxe, but keep in mind that beauty only went for ~17k in 2023 dollars! So much cheaper than the Ford F-150! And you get more seats too! Sure the paint is probably leaded and so is the gas and so are the lights and so is the steering wheel probably and to be honest I wouldn't be surprised if somehow the rubber was too, but god dammit it just looks good doesn't it? Don't they all? 2 of these 3 random samples I just learned about still have the monocolor stuff that I was complaining about but don't they just look better? It's not like this is a lost art, we can still build this today if we wanted, we could just put the modern engines and batteries and non-lead metals in it! That's what the people who drive restored versions of these cars do! Imagine how much easier it would be if you just built them that way and didn't need to take all of the lead and old broken down engines out in the first place!

"Ohhhhh but the aerodynamics!! What about the aerodynamics!! Modern cars are so much faster now because of their ugly shapes!!"

yeah dumbass and that's why you keep mulching kids whenever you tap the accelerator. my city has plenty of people who drive modern cars, you all could do with a lower speed capacity. it would be good for you in the same way that confiscating an addict's tobacco would be good for them. fucking chill.

besides if you're really worried about speed trust me, modern engines are wonders of science and engineering, i promise you that cars can still go zoom if we made the aerodynamics slightly worse in order to make them look better because the magic piston box that you pretend to know how it works while being carried by your 4-wheel drive will cover the cost. trust me.

"But cars in general are bad! We should be getting rid of all of them! Even cool looking cars can mulch kids too!"

yeah yeah sure, still ban them from city centers and stuff. i just got back from a 2 week long trip around all the best parts of europe and also paris so i agree with you there, but as much as it would warm my autistic heart we realistically cant have trains to take us everywhere and the genie is already out of the bottle. besides i dont care what you think cars are just cool. i can turn a wheel and push on a pedal with my foot and make a 2 ton hunk of steel and gadgets move at a speed to carry force surpassing that of a bullet, and if i turn really fast i can make tire doodles on public infrastructure to keep the rent low. plus road trips with friends are fun. look all im saying is that cars definitely aren't going anywhere, so we could at least have them look cool while they're here. to be honest i definitely agree that we should be phasing out cars as much as we can for long distance travel (TRAIN SWEEP WOOOOO CHOO CHOO) and everything but come on dude i dont want to look at my ugly ass streets and see them swarming with ugly ass cars. i want pretty ass cars. please? pretty please? my birthday is coming up soon wont you do it for me?

"Lower aerodynamics means that the fuel economy will be worse! People will need to use more fuel for the same distances! That's bad for my wallet and also the environment!"

putting aside the fact that aerodynamics really only become a major factor when you are going really really fast like on the freeway--a place where ideally you would rarely ever need to go on in favor of public transport taking you everywhere you'd want to go to at a price cheaper than your gas in the first place, i want to ask you something a little emotional here:

do you think that you would be better off if you saved maybe 1 or 2 dollars every trip to the gas station, or if when you were stuck driving all those long drives you were in a car that you could actually smile when thinking about, that you could watch other people look over and see children excitedly getting their parent's attention to show off the cool car driving past them, that you could have a car that looks good enough to actually wow people when you pull in for your 9-5 that is a 2 hour drive away from you for some reason, that after a long shift and a long drive you could come home, get out of your car, and have the first thing you see when you close the door be something that actually looks pretty instead of the same personalityless blob that everyone else drives? look, i get it, maybe your finances are super unstable and every penny counts, maybe this specific example isn't for you, but im willing to bet that once you get to a better off position you'd be pretty fine with the idea of sacrificing a few bucks for a whole load of warm and fuzzy feelings of pride and satisfaction. i sure as hell would. why the hell do we do this whole capitalism thing in the first place if we can't spend the money eventually to feel nice??

oh yeah also for the environment bit most of the impact against the environment isn't cars at all, it's energy production and other stuff, also most cars are switching to environmentally friendly alternatives now anyway sorryyyyyyyyy

look all i want is for when my time comes to get mulched against a bumper like nearly 1.2 thousand american children each year i dont want it to look like the edmunds.com best rated cars by price section

oh, yeah, also, if you willingly take off the sound muffler from your car or motorcycle your car should be confiscated by the government and you should be put in the jail for disturbing the peace. not because you did anything wrong, but purely for your own protection because i prefer small government solutions and neither me personally nor my local community do not have the infrastructure to solve the problems that you create in a way that would be favorable to you.

[rowdyhughesy]

Fighting with Mark Estapa that ends with cuddles

Struggles and cuddling - M.Estapa

I did definitely not take inspiration from myself and how I feel most days even if I take my meds🫡 (just wanna clarify that this doesn’t picture how ADD/ADHD is for everyone. It’s different for everyone, just because this is how my ADHD is some days it doesn’t mean everyone has these issues. It’s very individual so keep that in mind 🤍)

Working on my Drusk request but I haven’t figured out what direction I want to go in yet. hope you like it! ♡

Everyone has bad days, you might think some people never have a day in their life but they do. Today is one of your bad days. Living with ADHD is a daily struggle. Sadly Mark took the blame for the bad day caused by your disorder.

Your brain felt like mush, everything making it go into overdrive. It was harder than usual to separate your feelings and control them. This resulting in the ongoing argument with your boyfriend. You knew that it was your diagnosis making you feel so angry and frustrated. Tears were running down your face as the two of you screamed your irritation out. It had started off as something small, just a simple hint about how you yet again had forgotten about something small he had asked for your help in. The small comment making the time bomb inside you snap.

Mark was pacing back and forth in your living room, yourself standing in place. Hands pressed against the sides of your skull, it felt like war inside. “Just shut up! Please for the love of god can you shut up for a second. I can’t hear myself think.” Your voice is hoarse from all the yelling. Mark stops in his tracks, letting his gaze leave the floor to look up at you. He notices the expression on your face, a mix between frustrated and sad. The small face twitches and how you’re wringing your fingers in front of you and he knows.

“Baby, why didn’t you just tell me that your ADHD is hard today?” Mark looks at you with his big puppy eyes and you feel ashamed. When you first told Mark about your ‘problem’ and all the things he would need to know he assured you time and time again that when it’s harder than usual you would tell him. You didn’t this time. “I don’t know. I’m just so angry at myself today because nothing makes sense and I can’t stop my eyes from twitching cause of all the excess energy. I just want to take a nap but I know I have a lot of things to do but my body just stays frozen and I just want to break something because I get so frustrated.” He doesn’t say anything, opting to just lay down on your bed and opening his arms for you to lay down.

Letting out a defeated sigh you kick your shoes off and lay down on Marks chest. When you’ve settled in he wraps his arms around you, pressing a quick peck on your forehead. “Let’s just lay here for a bit. We can watch your favourite show and just not move until tomorrow. I know it usually helps when you have days like today.” Flashing Mark a small appreciative smile you nuzzle your face against his neck breathing in the smell of his body wash and the faded smell of his cologne.

[myheroeswriting]

Summation of ADHD for me

 

Hello, how is it going? ( don't get distracted),

All my life, adhd has always impacted

People have told me get over it and it’s all in my head.

Impossibility, what is it, you said?

Wow, aren't you brilliant? Maybe that's why my head hurts all the time

Your ignorance is really hurting my mind

What were we talking? Squirrel!, wow look at him go.

I wanted to play ball, —- ah, I don't know

How about?, Crap what was I doing again,

I came to get something.

My brain has the hick-ups, lucky to remember anything

You said. “Don’t break the yolks”!. Wow, look I just broke them.

I am ok despite a minor glitch the my program

I know what u just said! I’m sorry. Not on purpose

I try real hard, adhd is complicated under the surface

Hey, there he goes again, fast as he can

When I am old I may need a bedpan

There is the project I was looking for

To finish, maybe good to get a mentor

Not done, I will finish it today.

Getting hungry, thoughts are in disarray

Phone rings. Hello. Be right there.

Excitement for adventure, led to an affair

Where r my keys? They were right on the hook

I smile and try and have a better outlook

I need a drink, a tear, I had to blink

I went to jail and heard the clink

What was I doing again,thoughts racing

I ride for GCC for Kids Cancer, for charity

Wow man my head hurts, just never stops

I would love to own a bike workshop

Pls turn off the TVs, in the back of the store.

So much malarkey, please close the back door

Turn down the white noise, it is deafening

Pulling on my pipe, could meen I am baking

I was doing. Man, I am looking for something and now I am late.

When fishing I use worms for bait

What time is it? I forgot again, um, yeah, no

In the winter it gets cold here, we can’t mow

Now!, put on your shoes and function normally.

I do my best to tell you off, delivered warmly

Did I leave to stove on again?, getting hot

To stay sane and level headed, meds equals pot

I laughed hard at that, real knee slapper

I won a prize and I was the clapper

How can I function fully when I am distracted

Walking down the candy isle, I’m always attracted

everything and what do I want now?,can’t even finish a thought

When I was a kid, my best friend took a head shot

I’m tired, Going to bed, I’m hungry, what’s to eat

A life behind bars, is always sweet in the seat

Night.

[breannasfluff]

Imagine there was a law once a year you had to kill someone else to survive and not be able to be killed that year. As a problem to overpopulation.

I hate the "Is the cup half full or half empty" thing. It doesn't help to see if I'm pessimistic or optimistic. Seeing as my view depends on how the glass was set up. If the water was poured first, it is half full. If the glass was filled completely with water, then half of it got dumped out, it is half empty. How can you say "Oh it's half empty" or "oh it's half full". Also both of those are technically correct, so why is this even a thing? You literally can't tell anything from this and I hate it.

I don't think anyone is dumb. Everyone learns differently. Just because the person is not understanding the concept, doesn't mean they are stupid or slow. That means it is not being taught in their learning style. There are like 7 different learning styles, and I know for a fact there are almost no schools that try to teach people using all of them. It's not your fault for not understanding something, sometimes it's not even the person teaching you fault. Sometimes the wording is just confusing in your brain or you need longer to process and make connections. I just hate whenever someone uses dumb as an insult. It doesn't make sense and yes there are some topics I would be "Dumb" to, but that's just because I haven't tried to learn them.

Silent letters in English are so dumb. Or words that are just not spelled like they are pronounced. Like what's the point? It just makes everything more confusing for everyone. And also the different spelling for every day thing from like British English to American English to Australian English. Like Gray? I honestly don't know how to spell it correctly where I'm from. I change the spelling every time I spell Grey. It's so dumb.

Did you know ADHD meds don't work if you have certain foods after or before you take them. Mostly foods or things with vitamin C. Just a thought.

I have no clue why I wrote this. I had ten thousand other things I could be doing. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my random thoughts and I'm sure glad for the ask anonymously feature in tumbler!

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees.

Gray with an A is how you spell it in the USA. It has the A for America. Grey is the British spelling.

[clunelover]

Jeremy is out of town for a conference until Friday. This is mostly nice because I love alone time, but I forgot how icky quiet it can be in evenings when the house is empty (I just got back from picking up the dog, and my adorable brilliant resourceful children have gone out for a walk on their own).

I took one of his adderall again today, man the jury is really out on them…they make me quite relaxed, which as far as I know is kind of indicative of having actual ADD, that a stimulant will calm rather than energize…but it’s almost like they make me TOO calm! It’s like, the effect of only having one thought at a time is so powerfully calming that I just want to chill and enjoy the feeling of a calm mind, not waste it on WORK! We’ve all seen those viral tweets from the adhd people about how there’s no such thing as "lazy," it’s just a label that gets slapped on people who aren’t able to focus on tasks and finish them, etc! And I totally get the point of those posts and think overall it’s a good reframe, but I can also say as someone who’s experienced a lot of different mental states, both organically and as a result of substances: I AM lazy. Or I guess we could say that I just have almost no interest in my so called career - maybe if I did I’d feel like pointing my focus at it? But in the time I actually made myself sit down and work, I know I was able to read through several very long queries written by someone else no longer on my team, and figure out how they work enough to make some recommendations about how easy or difficult it would be to update them, and that would have been very very hard without the improved focus, so that’s cool I guess…but they are definitely not the magic "get all my work done, painlessly" solution I was hoping for!! And the crash as they wear off is very intense and bad. So I guess maybe I shouldn’t get into the habit of using them semi-regularly (you know, this plus the fact that they’re not prescribed to me…)

I told my therapist I was doing this, and how I doubted my psychiatrist is the sort who would hear I’ve been taking meds not prescribed to me and they kind of help, and decide that means I should get to take them for real, and so I wasn’t planning on telling…she said she wasn’t going to tell me I MUST confess this to my psychiatrist, and that she doesn’t think they will automatically cause a bipolar person to go manic, but she brought up the very good point that I’d hate to be in a situation where I was secretly taking them, then if I did have a manic episode, I would have to say "oh by the way I’ve been taking my husband’s adderall"- that would FOR SURE be a black mark against me as a patient and probably lead to me never getting a legit Rx. So, okay fine, between all these factors I guess I will abandon my "take the ones he doesn’t use on the weekends and be a good worker for two days a week" plan.