#Can y’all tell I’m still upset about the trope

[chappellcastiel]

As likely and angsty Arthur not having any true friends since Merlin is I’ve decided that is no longer the case.

maybe all the old nobles and council members sucked and uther was definitely an ass.

The knights however were not. At least not all of them some can be idiots but the knights were Arthur’s family growing up amen 🙏🏽 .

and I’m not even crazy really he says multiple times the knights are like family and that he grew up with some so yeah.

All this to say I need to see more Arthur with knights in fics and not the main few (besides Leon) because most of the fandom decided to give them to Merlin.

you know what would be a good idea if someone wrote a fic where it was one of those god awful(not judging if that’s your thing though to each their own) typical magic reveals but instead of no one being on Arthur’s side there’s a group of knights that grew up with him that stand up for Arthur and claim that he’d never hurt Merlin.

Including Leon bc I will say this a hundred times he would not threaten arthur.

[starlazergazer]

Pinky Promise

Pairing: Anakin x Reader

Request/Summary: One bed trope! / The reader follows Anakin into a dangerous warzone making him upset that she would put herself in harms way like that

Warnings: Some swearing

Word Count: 5k

A/N: I know the request was just for a simple one bed trope but for some reason I made this super angsty so I hope y’all still like it! As always let me know what you think and I greatly appreciate everyone reading these! I love you!!

 You sat across from Anakin in the cafeteria, fork, along with your appetite, long since abandoned on your too full plate before you.

“You’re really being sent to Orto Plutonia?” You asked the same question for what had to have been at least the fifth time since he had told you of the mission, still unable to fully wrap your head around it, still unable to fully accept it.

Anakin, however, barely spared you a glance as he took another bite of his food, shrugging slightly as he spoke “yeah It’ll be pretty cold but I think I can handle it”

And a part of you wanted to hate him for how nonchalant he was being about it. How he seemed to look the danger, the imminent threat to his life in the face and shrug. Another part of you, however, knew it was a façade erected fully for your benefit. Distracting your worry with a joke, an all too Anakin Skywalker think to do. “You know that’s not why I’m worried”

His eyes met yours briefly as his fork froze midair, a brief second passing as he took in your features before dropping the utensil and pushing the plate of food to the side, a soft chuckle as he shook his head “I’ve been in active warzones before Y/N, it’ll be fine”

You rolled your eyes at his attempt to brush you off, a small sigh escaping you as you crossed your arms defensively over you “I know but the Talz are known for their brutality, back home they’re the myth you tell stories about to scare children-“ and you paused as you watch him listen to you, watched the concern sink in but not for his upcoming mission, rather for you “Just be careful okay?”

A soft smirk grew over his lips as he chuckled “hey I’m always careful”

And you couldn’t help it but laugh back, Anakin’s laugh never failing to pull a similar one out of you “Every story Obi-wan has ever told me speaks contrary to that fact”

He scoffed dramatically at that, a hand coming up to his chest in mock hurt as he leaned back slightly “and you would believe Obi-wan over me?”

“Any day Skywalker” you smirked back at him, picking a piece of food off his plate and tossing it into your mouth.

He pretended to object at your theft of his food, but the way his eyes cut down to your own full plate showed the façade for what it was. He was just glad you were eating, even if it was his food. “yeah that’s probably fair”

And with that you let the comfortable silence fall between the two of you, eyes dancing back and forth between his for a moment before you couldn’t help yourself, hands coming forward to rest on his, pulling all his remaining attention (not that any of it was really straying) back to you “I’m serious Ani, please be careful”

His smile never slipped from his lips as he nodded, his voice dropping to a quieter tone as he said earnestly “I’ll be careful, I promise”

Finally deciding to believe him you raised your hands from his, raising one pinky and offering it to him with a raised brow.

Anakin laughed softly but nonetheless obliged, taking his own pinky and wrapping it around yours, whispering softly over the top of your hands “pinky promise”

-

You weren’t surprised that Anakin was the first one to greet you when you landed, no doubt he had identified your ship the moment it broke into the atmosphere. You weren’t even surprised at the confusion on his face as the dock slowly lowered, the slight panic that took over his features, something you had told yourself was bound to come as he recognized you, as you descended onto the planet’s surface.

“Y/N what are you doing here?” His voice was strained slightly, eyes flitting around to each of your companions as if they could explain what he was seeing.

“My job” you answered simply, keeping your head held high as you marched past him, Anakin’s shock freezing him place for mere moments before he jogged ahead, coming to a stop before you, effectively blocking your path.

“Y/N this is an active war zone” he stated it as if you simply hadn’t known where you had landed, as if you hadn’t been the one to give him those same words of warning just days ago.

“I know” you answered calmly “I’m here to negotiate” and again you tried to push past him.

This time, however, a hand at your elbow halted your movement, holding you in place in front of him “no you’re not” his tone here this time did surprise you, the finality in it, the slight edge of a threat he pushed into it. For the first time in your life you truly felt like you were talking to the jedi Anakin Skywalker and not your friend.

“Yes I am” you insisted, trying to pull his grip off you but he held on, squeezing not hard enough to hurt but hard enough to make extracting yourself from him difficult.

“Go home Y/N” the condescension in his tone had you gritting your teeth, as if you were a child he was punishing, as if he had any authority to tell you what to do.

Looking up at him through your lashes you clenched your jaw, seeing that he was already doing the same, standing firm in his position “I’m here as the senator of Pantora now take your hand off me General Skywalker and let me do my job”

“Your job is back on Coruscant-“ Anakin took a step closer as he spoke, his voice dropping slightly lower, though you stopped listening after just a few words, your eyes flitting to the horizon more than happy to recognize a familiar face just a few yards off.

“General Kenobi it’s good to see you” you called loudly over Anakin’s shoulder, relishing the way he froze slightly at the sound of his master’s name, the soft curse the left his lips as you felt his fingers slip from your elbow allowing you to push past him, careful not to look up at him as you did so, keeping your eyes on Obi-wan as you extended a hand out to greet him.

“Senator Y/L/N it’s good to see you as well” Obi-wan greeted you with a confused smile “I wasn’t aware you would be joining us”

“I was sent here to negotiate peace with the Talz” you explained in what you hoped wasn’t a too insincere smile, something that became harder to force as you heard the thinly vailed anger in Anakin’s voice from over your shoulder.

“Pantora has no jurisdiction over this planet”

You grit your teeth as you tried to keep calm, not even bothering to look in his direction as you answered “As the only other inhabited planet in this sector the senate decided I could serve as negotiator on this matter”

“Well we’re glad to have you” Obi-wan broke in before Anakin could get off a word, sending a small glare over to his former padawan as he addressed you “the sooner we can resolve this peacefully the better, I’ve already lost enough men”

“I completely agree general” you nodded at him before casting your eyes off into the distance “I here chairman Cho is here I would like to speak with him-“

Anakin cut you off before you could finish, his voice sounding closer than before “Senator could I speak with you for a moment?”

And for the first time you spun around to meet Anakin’s gaze, not missing the malcontent fire that raged beneath the surface ‘I’m afraid I really must speak to chairman Cho” you offered with a sickeningly sweet smile.

“It will be quick” he insisted firmly.

Leaving you with no more to really say you nodded reluctantly, giving Obi-wan a small smile as you followed him off to the side, Anakin waiting until he was out of earshot before turning on you. “really? There was no one else who could’ve come?”

“Did you miss the part about Pantora being the only other planet inhabited in this sector?” You countered, matching the barely held rage he had in his voice.

“You were the one that was just warning me about how dangerous it was to be here” he exclaimed, gesturing vaguely to the sounds of blaster fire over the horizon.

“And you came anyways because it was your job, and now my job has brought me here too same as you” you crossed your arms defensively over your chest.

“So you pretend to be sick, or you give any sort of excuse to get you out of this trip because anyone could’ve come here to negotiate. Chairman cho is even already here as a negotiator” he countered in exasperation only making you shake your head.

“And you see how well that’s been going, how many of your own clone troopers have you lost already to this fight?”

You could practically see the rage boil up inside of him, hands coming to his hips as his intense gaze broke from yours, a loud exhale sounding from him as he took a step back, shaking his head before he looped back around to stand in front of you, hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose “you can’t be here Y/N it’s not-“

“I am here general Skywalker” you broke him off sharply “I’m here to do my job and I’m not leaving till it’s done, now if you excuse me I’m going to speak to the chairman”

Anakin caught your arm before you could move, holding you in place once again as his gaze bore down into your own, a soft plea edging into his must softer tone as he spoke “Please Y/N”

And admittedly you felt the fire within you die at the sound, your chest hollowing as you looked up at Anakin, never finding it easy to say no to him. “The sooner I do my job the sooner we can all get out of here”

Again there was a flicker in the muscle of his jaw as he clenched it, his eyes hardening slightly as he recognized your resolve in the matter, giving you a loud, long exhale before releasing your arm with a small nod. Clearly not agreeing with your decision to stay, but at least finally recognizing he could do nothing about it.

Without saying anything more you returned the nod before turning around and heading towards the main encampment, Anakin never more than two steps behind you.

-

By the end of the day you were practically dragging your feet towards the inn the squadron had rented a few rooms in to stay for the night.

Your day had been spent in meetings entirely with the republics side so far and Anakin had been right at your side for each and every one of them, offering one hell of a glare to anyone who so much as mentioned meeting with the Talz.

He made it beyond difficult to focus as with every step he was always just a bit too close, looming over you at every corner, anger radiating off of him in massive waves, making it abundantly clear to not only you but everyone you met with that he didn’t think you should be there thereby undercutting your authority at every opportunity.

You had at least thought you could get some sort of break from him for the night but upon reaching the inn you learned that you were to share a room with two beds, meaning not a single moment since you landed on this planet could be spent outside of Anakin Skywalker’s disappointed glare.

Nevertheless, you sucked it up as he followed you up the stairs to your room, knowing that any argument from your side could set him off again, could have him yelling at you to go back to Coruscant, and right now you’ll take stoic anger over animated yelling any day,

Without so much as a word in his direction you stuck the key into the door of your room, pushing it open with your hip and coming to a dead stop as you looked inside, your eyes landing on the one massive bed taking up the majority of the space in the room instead of the two it was supposed to house.

You spun around on the spot before Anakin could come in any farther, planting one hand on the doorframe physically baring entry “you’re finding another room”

He gave you a brief confused look before casting his eyes above your head, surveying the furniture with a small, annoying smirk “nice try”

“absolutely not” you tried to stop his train of thought before it could get any farther “go bunk with obi-wan or something”

And in response you saw his jaw clench just as it had countless times today, his arms coming up to cross over his chest, telling you he was ready to put up a fight “I’m not leaving you alone”

“It’s for 8 hours while everyone sleeps” you argued back, feeling the anger flicker like hot fire in your chest.

“and what would the council think if I left the one senator on Orto Plutonia completely defenseless for 8 hours?”

You could have laughed in his face at the question, your response coming back without any real thought necessary “and since when have you ever cared about what the council thought?”

“Since it came to your safety” his answer came back just as quick, just as reflexive, making your own anger die in your throat.

“Do you realize what you being here does to your safety” he seemed to demand an answer more than ask, though instead carried on without waiting for one “both sides want a war, you have to see that”

“That’s why I’m here” you cut in angrily, crossing your arms over your chest “to negotiate peace and stop that”

“You’re here as the perfect target” he shook his head, breaking down his thought process as if he were talking to a child “if either side can get the other to take you out they can mark that as an unmotivated attack and declare war, blaming the other for starting it. You being here paints a massive target on your back.”

“So-“ you started to shoot back but he cut you off, stepping forward just enough to tower over you.

“So that’s why I’m here, that’s why I’m always two steps behind you, and that’s why we will be sharing a room tonight even if I have to sleep on the floor” and he pushed past you as if you hadn’t been standing in his way, grabbing one of the pillows from the bed and throwing it onto the ground at the foot of it.

“So I should’ve just stayed on Coruscant?” you asked him as you shut the door behind you “just let them go on bombing each other until one eventually surrenders”

“Yes” he answered simply, not even bothering to look at you as he took off his cloak and laid it on the floor next to his pillow.

“You don’t really believe that” you scoffed “those are your men out there suffering the consequences of this ongoing violence, someone needed to come out here and put an end to it”

“And did that someone need to be you?” His head snapped up to meet your gaze as he raised his eyebrows slightly, silently daring you to say otherwise.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes at the same question he had asked earlier, shaking your head slightly as you started to make your way to the bed, ready to let him brood on the floor for the night if that was what he wanted.

“No look at me” His serious tone froze you in place, not missing the way his voice had softened, even if his posture remained as rigid as ever. “I’m serious tell me the truth, did you need to be the one to come out here to negotiate or did the republic just want to send a senator”

And all you could do was clench your jaw in response, bite down the words that sprang forth. The lies and the truths because at this point you weren’t sure any more which would be worse.

Anakin, however, read your silence like a book.

He deflated slightly on the spot, his eyes closing as he shook his head, his hand coming up to pinch at the bridge of his nose “damnit Y/N”

“You were here!” you objected quickly “what was I supposed to do just abandon you out here?”

“Yes!” He broke in quickly, matching your volume as both of your voices raised “I can handle myself. You were the one warning me about being here why the fuck would you think it would be a good idea to come here yourself?”

“You were the one that brushed off my warning” you pointed out “you acted like my fears were unfounded that being here was no big deal”

“Because I didn’t want you to worry”

And you let that statement hang in the air for a moment, let its ridiculous nature ruminate a little as you watched Anakin’s chest rise and fall rapidly with his pent-up anger.

“You really think that would be all it takes to make me not worry about you?”

He rolled his eyes at your response with an exasperated sigh, turning away from you deliberately and sitting down on his makeshift bed on the floor, trying to physically shut down the conversation.

“No you’re angry right now because I’m putting myself in danger, because you’re worried about me, how do you think I feel every time you leave?”

“Just drop it Y/N” he tried to shrug you off, laying down on his pillow on the hard ground.

But still you pressed on “Every time you run off on a new mission, putting yourself on the front lines of some battle you think I don’t worry just like this? You think I’m a stranger to exactly how you’re feeling right now?” You scoffed “I’m so sorry that for once it has to be you worrying about me”

Anakin sat up suddenly, turning to face you, his jaw clenched so tightly you could see the muscle through his skin “the difference is it’s my job. I’m a general, I’ve been trained to be on the front lines, to protect myself, to fight battles. You’re a senator, your job-“

“-is to negotiate peace and advocate for those who can’t speak for themselves” you broke in before he could answer, eyebrows raised silently daring him to say otherwise “which is exactly what I’m doing here”

With a bitter chuckle he shook his head, twisting back around to lay down “fine then you do your job, let me do mine”

“fine”

And with that you turned back towards the bed, getting ready to climb into it when you looked down at Anakin, laying without a blanket on the hard floor, arms wrapped pathetically around himself as he faced the wall.

And even though you were still reeling from your fight a bit of guilt started to creep into you. Because even though you still thought he was going overboard and being ridiculous you had been telling the truth when you said you knew firsthand how he felt.

You’d spent too many nights staying up waiting for any info regarding his safety, waiting for him to finally land on Coruscant, waiting for him to be okay. You knew his anger was coming from a good place, even if it still didn’t give him the right to be a jerk about it, and even more you knew exactly what sleeping on the hard floor all night would do to him.

Stalking over to where he lay on the floor you gave his feet a soft kick “come on there’s enough room on the bed for the both of us”

“I’m fine” he shrugged you off, not even bothering to look in your direction.

With a roll of your eyes and a frustrated groan you stalked over to the bed and grabbed a pillow off of it, throwing it to the ground making sure it made a loud thump before sitting down next to it.

Your display had the desired effect. Shortly after Anakin was pushing himself up to a sitting position and spinning around to look at you, a very unamused expression gracing his features. “what’re you doing?”

“You don’t take the bed I don’t take the bed” you answered simply, making a show of fluffing your pillow.

“You’re being ridiculous” he groaned, rubbing a tired hand over his face in exasperation.

“Oh so you are aware of the concept” you goaded him with a raised brow, fighting the smirk off your face as he glared back at you.

“You’re gonna wake up tomorrow with a sore back, just take the bed”

“And you know some magical way of sleeping that won’t make yours sore tomorrow?”

“Y/N-“

“You think it’s your job to protect me then why would you risk a sore back on something as stupid as sleeping on the floor” you cut him off before he could continue, crossing your arms over your chest, knowing you had trapped him.

And to your delight you watched him clench his jaw in response, watched a deep breath rack through him before he stood, marching across the room towards you, fierce gaze never straying from your eyes as he did so. You fought the urge to shrink from it.

Wordlessly he took your pillow from the ground and threw it onto one side of the bed, pausing for one moment to look down at you still sitting on the floor before making his way back across the room to grab his own pillow and bring it to the other side of the bed before silently sliding onto the mattress, back pointedly facing you.

And though a million passive aggressive comments flowed to your tongue you bit back each, knowing when to accept your victory. You pushed yourself to your feet and crawled into bed next to him, careful to make as little movement as possible as you did so lest you set him off more.

A heavy silence filled the room as you stared out at the wall, unable to even think about going to sleep after what had just happened. Luckily, it would seem Anakin had the same predicament.

“I don’t just think it’s my job to protect you”

His voice didn’t hold any of the anger, the malice you would have expected. Rather it was soft, sad even. A voice that was begging to by listened to.

“You don’t have orders to be my bodyguard” you responded back, careful to keep your tone even and your voice low “Obi-wan out ranks you here and I know he’s given no such order so if anything he would be”

“I don’t care about orders” his response came quickly, desperately “I just want you to be safe”

You took a beat to let his words sink in, to mull them over, to formulate your own response, before you turned onto your back, not fully facing him but a half truce.

“My job isn’t any less important than yours”

Your words were met with silence, clearly a response Anakin hadn’t been expecting.

“Other senators could’ve been sent but these are my people, or if not my people than my neighbors. I’m the only one with skin in the game. I’m the one with the best chance to end things before too many people end up dead.”

“And if you end up dead?”

You were surprised to see how quickly and naturally your answer came to you “then at least they can say I died trying”

Another silence blanketed the room, not quite as tense as the last but nonetheless uncomfortable, before you heard Anakin shift positions from his side of the bed. A look out of the corner of your eye telling you he was lying on his back too, the both of you staring up at the ceiling above you. It wasn’t much but it felt like a start, and for now that could be enough.

-

You woke slowly the next morning, too much light filtering into the room drawing you back to consciousness but stubbornness kept your eyes closed, refusing to let go of the last remaining bit of sleep.

The bed beneath you was soft and warm, pulling a content groan from your lips as you shifted your position slightly, pulling the blanket up to your chin and digging your shoulder a bit deeper into the mattress, deciding to give yourself another few minutes before getting out of bed.

That was until you heard another soft groan echo yours. Your eyes shot open as you finally registered the unnatural extra weight draped around your middle, the hard body radiating heat pressed firmly against your back, the long legs intertwined with your own.

The arm draped around your waist tightened its hold, drawing you deeper into Anakin’s sleeping form, a content hum slipping past the jedi’s lips as you felt his breath tickle to top of your ear. “5 more minutes”

The low grumble of his morning voice had your cheeks heating up as you hid your face further into the blanket, taking the opportunity to tuck yourself even further into him, relishing the way his warmth fully encapsulated you. “5 more”

The hair around your ear stirred softly as the sharp exhale of a chuckle left his lips making you smile as well.

“I’m sorry Y/N”

Those words crashed you back to reality, pulling you out of the comfort of the present moment, of the security of Anakin’s tight hold on you, out of the strange familiarity of the present moment, and forced you back to the fight last night, to his reaction when you had landed, to the idea of being the subject of Anakin’s ire.

You rolled over onto your stomach, feeling Anakin’s arm reluctantly slide off you as you did so but pointedly not holding you in place, propping yourself up on your elbow to better look at him only to see his alert gaze already trained on you, one elbow propping himself up slightly.

You said nothing in response, waiting for him to expand, to prove that he knew what he did wrong, to prove that he truly meant the apology. And for a second he said nothing, blue eyes bouncing slowly back and forth between your own before he took a slow deep breath.

“I didn’t meant to imply that your job was less important than mine, or that you weren’t allowed to make your own decisions” he sighed softly, one hand coming out to you, soft fingertips just barely skimming over the skin of your cheek as he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, hand sliding down to rest in the base of your neck for just a moment before retreating “I just liked it better when you were back on Coruscant and I knew you were safe”

You opened your mouth to reply but he shook his head softly.

“you showing up here with no warning, with no extra protection, with no apparent regard for your own safety…it scared me”

And looking up at him you could see the sincerity in his statement, it was in the soft draw of his brow, the slight pout of his lips, the desperate look in his eye. Reaching forward slightly you grabbed his hand and pulled it into yours, giving it a soft squeeze “I know but I needed to be here”

And a heartbeat passed, then two, a small silence starting to settle in a way that you knew meant he had brushed you off again, before he spoke. “I know”

A part of you was embarrassed by how much relief came from just those two words, a simple acknowledgement, but a bigger part of you knew better, knew the weight those words held, the unspoken understanding that had just settled between the two of you, and rejoiced in it.

You gave him a soft smile, bringing the knuckles of his hand up to your lips and pressing a soft kiss into the skin “thank you Ani”

He chuckled back down at you, the hand you held in yours coming up to give your cheek a soft pinch before he withdrew it, pulling you along with it, pulling your head to rest comfortably on his chest as he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into his side.

“Is this really how you feel every time I go?”

And you wanted to laugh at the ridiculous question, at how that could have never occurred to him. Instead you tried putting yourself in his shoes.

“I know you trained your whole life for this, and I know you can handle yourself, I fully trust that you can handle any situation you put yourself in” A soft sigh, a slight hiccup in Anakin’s breath as he waited for the inevitable ‘but’ “but of course I worry, of course I don’t want you to go. It kills me every time to watch you fly away to the next warzone”

“I’m sorry Y/N”

“Don’t be” you shrug him off without a second thought “it’s your job and you’re doing important work. I just need you to give me that same attitude when I have to do something dangerous for mine. You don’t get a monopoly on stupid, dangerous decisions”

You could hear his heart beating through his ribs, could feel his hand come up from your back to play softly with the ends of your hair, a low rumble reverberating up through his chest before he spoke again “If I promise to stop making stupid, dangerous decisions when I don’t have to will you do the same?”

You snorted at his question, craning your neck up to meet his gaze as you raised a brow “I’d like to see you try Skywalker”

He scoffed in mock offense “I could make smart, safe decisions”

“Sure” you chuckled, your gaze coming back down to rest your head in a comfortable position on his chest “do you even know how to properly use a ship’s landing gear?”

“I’ll have you know in many situations it was actually the safer decision to crash land the plane” he challenged back but you could hear the smile in his voice.

Shutting your eyes and burrowing your head further into him you hummed softly “sure name one”

His chest shook slightly as his laugh ruminated through his body but he offered no defense, letting the silence hang in the air for a moment before you saw his hand beside him move slightly towards your head, the pinky alone extended in your direction.

With a soft chuckle you shook your head softly, pulling your own pinky up to wrap around his, whispering the promise into his chest.

[lalaverdecia]

My Thoughts On The ‘Ghosts’ Season 3 Finale

🎶 Guess who’s back, back again, the Ghosts-obsessed-bitch-who’s-still-super-salty-about-the-writers-breaking-up-Isaac-and-Nigel-like-what-the-hell-why-would-you-do-that… tell a friend 🎶

Why hello fellow Ghosts fans. Isn’t this just a lovely surprise. I haven’t posted anything about Ghosts since before the season 3 finale. And I think we can all guess why that is. But I will get to that in a minute.

Firstly, I wanna address something before y’all read my Ted Talk/emotionally fulled rant. I needed to take a break from the Ghosts fandom all together before collecting myself. The reason why I did that is because I realized I was too obsessed with the show. I get pretty into certain fandoms but with Ghosts it was different for some reason. And because of that, I did something incredibly stupid and wrong. I was so upset with how the season ended, I went to Twitter (or X fuck you Elon) and started blasting Joe Port (one of the producers of the show) for it. I was saying ‘how dare you fucking do this, don’t you know how important this show is to people?!’ And it was during this hate filled rant that I suddenly realized, I had a problem. And I was taking it out on others. I immediately stopped and deleted the tweets and messaged him apologizing for my behavior. It was NOT okay of me to do that and I’m so ashamed that I was capable of doing something so beneath me. So I decided I needed to take a step back from the Ghosts fandom before coming back. I’m still a huge fan of the show, don’t worry, but I’m working really hard on trying not to let my emotions affect other people. I can be a huge fan of something but without being a dick about it basically.

So with that being said, let’s discuss the big ass elephant in the room.

HUGE DISCLAIMER:

These thoughts on the show are just my personal opinion and in no way trying to dictate how the series should go. Please do not go and harass anybody who works for the show like I did.

3x10 ‘Isaac’s Wedding’ Discussion

Oh boy was I upset. Isaac left Nigel at the altar and decided to break up with him. He explained how he thinks there’s something missing in their relationship and decides he can’t be with Nigel without that something. This didn’t just upset me, it seemed to upset a LOT of people. And for good reason I might add. It seemed to fall into the ‘Bury The Gays’ trope that television seems to do too often.

(I couldn’t post the link for some reason but here’s what the video looks like for reference)

In this video, it explains what ‘Bury The Gays’ means and the origins of it. It also gives examples on the different types of tropes there are here. Where Isaac and Nigel seem to fall under is the ‘Miserable LGBTQ+ Lives’ one. It explains that these queer characters face way too much angst and turmoil before/if they can even be happy.

Now I know, Isaac and Nigel come from a different period in time so it’s to be expected that they’re a bit set in their ways. But the amount of progress they’ve made up until 3x10 seems to have been thrown out the window. Along with why Isaac decided to break things off. It’s implied by the writers, BSJ, and the characters in the show themselves, that one of the reasons for why it ended was because Isaac had just realized he was gay and went for one of the only other gay male ghost at Woodstone.

But there’s the huge problem with that. For two and a half centuries, Isaac and Nigel have been pining over each other. Isaac may not have been openly gay but knew that he was in love with Nigel and vice versa. In 1x08 D&D the other ghosts explain to Samantha that their playful back and forth flirting has been going on since they both died. It wasn’t out of convenience because they were both attracted to the same gender, it was because they both genuinely liked each other. Hell, even before they both died, Isaac was spying on Nigel in his camp because he was infatuated by him. He had no idea Nigel was gay as well and probably didn’t at first when they died. But along the way, he seemed to have started to pick up on the fact that Nigel liked him too, but didn’t want to say anything out loud. There’s also other gay male ghosts that he could have pined over. (AKA Jenkins, George, and let’s be honest I wouldn’t be surprised if one of or all the other main male ghosts were queer in some way) So no, their love was NOT out of convenience thank you very much.

Nigel’s Character Arc (or lack there of)

People have mixed feelings about Nigel as a character. Some say he’s the best side ghost character in the show. Others say he sucks and is one of the worst characters.

Ever since Nigel first appeared in season 1, his past and personal information have always been up to debate. He has yet to have an episode or an A or B plot dedicated to just him and learning about him as a person. Most of the time, he is seen around Isaac. Rarely is he alone with the other ghosts in the mansion. Yes he established the ant watching club with Thor and Pete but it would have never really happened if it wasn’t for the conflict between Isaac and Thor in 2x01 ‘Spies’.

You’d think with the fourth season coming out in October, we would have learned a lot more about Nigel by now. All the main ghosts have already had an episode centered around them. Now you can argue and say that Nigel has had that with 1x08 ‘D&D’ when he was first introduced, but even then it was mainly about Isaac and learning that he had killed Nigel and trying to apologize to him for it.

Like stop and think for a second here: can you name 3 things about Nigel’s personal life besides being in the Revolutionary War? Where did he grow up? (And yes I know it would be somewhere in Britain I’m asking where specifically) What was his family dynamic like? Was he ever married? Did he have children? What kind of jobs did he use to have if at all before the war? When did he realize he was gay? How did this affect him when he was alive? Was he open to others about being gay? Or did he have to hide it to protect himself during a time and place where being queer was really dangerous for people? Okay I get that the last few questions are too personal to just bring up in conversation but you get my point. We barely know ANYTHING about the guy!

So What Now? And How Isaac And Nigel Can Fix Their Relationship

Now, y’all are gonna be shocked to hear this from me, but after doing some thinking and consideration, I’m actually kinda glad Isaac and Nigel are taking a break.

WHAT?! I hear you say?

Look, am I happy with HOW they broke up? Absolutely not! The writers could have done a much better job at hinting to the break up between Isaac and Nigel. But instead they just sprung it onto us at the last possible second. But what’s done is done, so the big question is what’s next?

Back to why I’m sorta glad Isaac and Nigel broke it off. They both need some time apart to sort themselves out. Because let’s be honest, as cute as they are together, it could be better. For example, their communication skills need improvement. Like, by a lot. They just need to say upfront what they both want and need from the other person and speak up when one of them crosses a line. But in order to get there, they need to be apart from each other to work on their own personal issues first.

Nigel may be the more open and laid back person in the relationship, but he has a few problems he needs to recognize and work on. Like his temper. He’s not rude or abusive, god no, he just tends to get upset a little too quickly. (We on the ‘Ghosts’ discord server have described this as him being feisty. He’s a feisty little crumpet) Another issue Nigel has is his forwardness. What I mean by this is that Nigel seems eager to move quickly in his relationship with Isaac. Wanting to share a room/bed, wanting physical intimacy, etc. Which on its own isn’t a bad thing. But when you get into a relationship with someone (especially when the other person hasn’t been in a gay relationship before) you don’t wanna rush into things. And Nigel needs to recognize this before getting back together with Isaac.

But now on to Isaac…

My god where do I begin.

Anyone who has ever seen the show knows this man’s got some problems. He has some toxic traits he needs to fix ASAP. Some petty, narcissistic traits but others being internal struggles with his identity and trying to find out what he REALLY wants with a partner. Now his internal issues aren’t the problem, it’s how it’s effecting his relationships. His way of thinking led him to be engaged to Nigel too quickly. Instead of taking his time and realizing, ‘Wait, I literally have forever to figure myself out’, he felt it was necessary to propose to Nigel because he was worried about sharing a room with him. So it made it easier for him to justify sharing space with him because that’s what married couples do. But when he realized he made that mistake, it was too late. He and Nigel were at the altar and Isaac had to break things off before he could hurt Nigel even more than if they were married. As hard as it was, he knew he couldn’t afford to put Nigel in an unhappy marriage like he thinks he did with Beatrice.

And it’s not just Nigel he has had problems with, it’s with almost everyone else in the mansion. I mean, he dumped Crash’s head in a tree stump because he was bored. He wanted Jay to dedicate his restaurant to him and theme it around HIM. He does care about others yes, but he is also really selfish and needs to work on that before getting back together with Nigel.

CONCLUSION

Phew 😮‍💨

This was the longest ‘Ghosts’ post I ever made. And exactly 3 months after season 3 ended. And I didn’t even plan for that. I hope you enjoyed my spiel or Ted Talk or whatever you wanna call it.

I’m not sure what season 4 will bring, but we can all agree on one thing…

We better get another Nisaac kiss because we’ve only gotten 1 so far throughout this entire show like EXCUSE ME?!

[whump-or-whatever]

I might have made a post about this before but whatever if so I’m doing it again.

I absolutely love when whumpee is made an example of. When their torture at the hands of whumper is displayed to others to make a point.

This could be done via torture in front of a crowd; a video which is streamed, broadcasted, e-mailed, mailed, left as a physical copy for caretaker to find, etc.; whumper calling caretaker so they can hear what’s happening or whumpee wearing a wire to the same effect; sending pictures, or what have you. I suppose sending body parts could also work to some degree.

In any case, the primary reason that whumper is hurting whumpee is to put on a show for others to see. Whumper’s actions are pointless without some sort of audience.

The purpose of this can be to prove Whumper’s personal power, or whumpee’s personal weakness. It could stand for the ultimate triumph of Whumper’s cause or side, or the failure of whumpee’s. It could be a lesson to others not to follow in whumpee’s footsteps, or a fear tactic to make people do as whumper says. Or it could just be to gloat or get revenge.

The fact that someone else is witnessing what whumper is doing increases the suffering for both whumpee and the witnesses.

Whumpee might be embarrassed at how vulnerable they are and the fact that this shows weakness. They might also be upset that caretaker is going to know exactly what happened and worry that it will change how caretaker see them. Alternatively, whumpee might be upset because they know caretaker will blame themself for whats happening even though it’s not their fault.

Caretaker, of course, probably does blame themself and gets angrier the longer it goes on. If they can, they might beg whumper to stop. Knowing what exactly is being done but still being unable to help makes everything a hundred times worse.

And the entire time whumper is using the duality of the situation to their advantage. They taunt both whumpee and the audience. They humiliate whumpee and use that to instil fear or piss off those watching.

Whumper says things like: “your beloved caretaker is watching” | “see how even the mighty whumpee is no match for me” | “now everyone can see how pathetic you are” | “caretaker, if you want them come and get them” | “this should be a lesson to all of you that there are consequences for disobedience” | “I have waited for this moment for so long and now everyone will witness my revenge”

The best part of all is when whumper is trying to make a point, but in order to make the point they actually have to break whumpee, but whumpee just will not break. So the torture just goes on and on to the point where whumper is tired, whumpee is nearly delirious, and everyone watching just wants whumpee to give in to end their own suffering. Still, whumpee refuses.

This may or may not be my favourite whump trope of all time, in case y’all couldn’t tell. (Although I suppose it’s technically a combination of many tropes.)

[f0point5]

People oversharing on the internet has become such a HUGE issue imo. They feel the need to share everything to an audience full of strangers. I miss the days when social media and private life were actually separated because nowadays it seems like it’s all blended together. Might as well take the word ”privacy“ out of the dictionary because it doesn’t exist anymore. And for them to go and post something like that ?!? The tweet just casually trauma dumping to strangers and the worst part is they’re all eating it up ? The comments be like: ”I’m so sorry for you, I totally get your disappointment in him“ or ”I’m with you you’re not alone, we got each other during this disappointing time” like wow. Are you guys mental ?!? What’s going on 😭 I think a lot of fans (and idc if this upsets anyone) are way too caught up in the drivers personal life and the whole WAG thing which also leads to women who are fans of the actual racing to not be taken seriously. There I said it. I see tiktoks or tweets saying: me in the garage of McLaren watching Lando race as his wag- Girl you won’t ever be a ”WAG” 😭 this obsession with the drivers love life and ”WAGs” needs to end because it’s concerning. Are you watching F1 because you like the sport or are you just constantly imagining yourself in the paddock as a drivers girlfriend and just stick around for the racing because you got nothing better to do ? No wonder people claim that women only watch to thirst over the men when that’s 70% of F1 content online posted by women.

Alsoooo the ones that go around saying things like ”women aren’t respected in motorsports” and ”there’s so much sexism coming from these rich men” are the same ones that go ahead and say shit like: ”I want his babies“ and even worse stuff under a drivers post ?!? How is that not bad as well? That’s just as disrespectful.

Yeah, my god. When we said “be open about your mental health” we meant with friends and family not the world at large. The notion that sharing your daily experiences with the world is helpful to anyone really needs to die.

I have no words for those unhinged individuals sharing their trauma as a reason why Lando Norris (complete stranger) owes them something. Literally no words I’m the vocabulary to adequately articulate my revulsion.

People can like the sport or the drivers for whatever reason they want but the parasocial has gone too far for some of these people. I really can see why people are in so many unhappy relationships, because if you can delude yourself into thinking a person you’ve never even met will conform to your fantasy (which let me tell you is problematic in itself because these fantasies are always just someone who mirrors their every thought.), I guess you can project reasoning into real people who treat you like crap. Rip to all the real mean out there competing with delusion the way women compete with p*rn stars 😂

Yeah the “rich men” trope to explain behaviour makes me laugh. As if middle class or working class men have different opinions. I know y’all would like to put these drivers in some otherworldly category where you don’t have to confront the fact that they’re just ordinary people getting on with their lives the same way your boyfriend, friend, brother, and dad likely would in their position, but that’s still delusional thinking. You think only rich men ignore issues that don’t affect them? The entirety of the middle class is rioting in the streets, baying for whatever cause has got your knickers in a twist today, and it’s only the rich men getting on with their lives? Give me a break 🙄

[glassheartjukebox]

...and there was only one bed

captains -> setters -> aces

feat. daichi, oikawa, kuroo, futakuchi, ushijima, bokuto

“i wanna sleep next to you

but that’s all i wanna do right now” - talk me down

a/n: this is one of my favorite tropes. this time i decided to organize the part a lil different (by position played rather than team)

daichi

when y’all realize there’s only one bed left, he’s immediately offering to sleep on the floor

while y’all are arguing about sleeping arrangements, he’s already making a very uncomfortable makeshift bed on the floor for himself

the only way you’re going to convince him to just share the damn bed with you is if you refuse to move from his makeshift cot until he gets in the actual bed

even then, he’s laying on the edge, trying to give you as much space as possible

“you know i won’t bite, right? you can take of more space than that daichi.”

as all of us know, many hotel rooms are an ungodly level of cold

daichi is like a human heater

without realizing, you gravitate towards him in your sleep

the next morning you wake up to him snoring in your ear

your legs are tangled together and your head is in the crook of his neck

daichi wakes up and immediately starts apologizing (completely ignoring the fact that you were on his side of the bed)

give him a hug, assure him it’s okay, tell him it’s the best sleep you’ve had in weeks

oikawa

brat. big ole brat.

complains about having to share the bed

says you’re taking too long in the shower

you roll your eyes and make your bed on the floor, not wanting to hear it

that is, until you hear him huffing and sighing

you look up, exasperated

“what’s wrong now oikawa?”

he leans over the bed and quietly says “please come up here”

you narrow your eyes at him

he pouts and does grabby hands at you

and that’s how you ended up on the other side of the bed from him, quickly falling asleep

however, you woke up in the middle of the night to oikawa clinging to your back like a koala

you didn’t have the heart to move him

but you also wanted to get your revenge

do you grabbed your phone and quickly snapped a picture of him clinging to your back like it was his life line

when you woke up in the morning, he was still clinging to you, but he’d transitioned into a more comfortable spooning position

you felt secure in his arms, not that you’d ever admit it

kuroo

is the one to suggest sharing the bed

he doesn’t want to sleep on the floor, he doesn’t want you to sleep on the floor, so what’s wrong with sharing a bed?

he’s internally panicking but he won’t show it

when it’s time for y’all to sleep, you find out kuroo is a pillow hog

the bed came with four pillows, and he’s taken three of them

“kuroo, i can’t sleep like this. i need one of the pillows, this isn’t supporting my head at all”

being the little shit he is, kuroo’s default defense is teasing

“that’s tragic, you could just use my chest as your pillow”

he was not expecting you to stubbornly take him up on his offer

furthermore, you weren’t expecting him to just... let it happen

you thought he would cave and give you a pillow, but instead you could yourself dozing off to the sound of his heartbeat

you both woke up in a similar position, with you clinging to his chest and his arm wrapped around you

maybe you two should sleep like this more often

ushijima

convincing him to share the bed isn’t too difficult

yes, he wants to be polite and make sure you’re comfortable

but he doesn’t want either of you on the floor

so he elects to make a wall of pillows between the two of you

does this work? no.

consequently, you wake in the middle of the night to a hand gripped your hip

groggily, you realize ushijima has reached across the pillow barrier to seek out some type of warmth in his sleep

is was like you were making it difficult; you were cuddling the wall of plush separating the two of you

you’re shifting roused ushijima but didn’t wake him

instead, he’s sleep addled brain simply tugged you closer, causing you to shift over the pillow wall

his grip on you was like a vice and you knew you would be unable to get out

so, you opted to fall asleep listening to his heart beat

in the morning, he politely didn’t comment on your migration to his side of the bed even though he had no idea he was the cause

he couldn’t help his blush when he attempted to leave the bed only to be met with you holding him tighter and muttering “no. stay. warm.”

futakuchi

cocky bitch

acts completely relaxed and IS COMPLETELY RELAXED

he’s well aware of his feelings for you and he’s convinced he can work this situation to his benefit

while you’re in the shower, he turns the air down

unbeknownst to him, he’s managed to put the air conditioner into overdrive and jam it, not allowing him to make it warmer

when you exit the bathroom, you’re greeted by biting cold and a shivering futakuchi

after 10 minutes of attempting to fix it, you both give up

when futakuchi suggests cuddling to stay warm, you don’t have it in you to chastise him for flirting with you

after all, you’re shaking violently and some body warmth sounds awfully good right now

that’s how you find your head on futakuchi’s chest and your legs tangled together

your hands are fastened around his waist and his arm is around your waist

you never thought futakuchi would be so comfortable to sleep with, but you quickly found yourself dozing off

the next morning, you two were tangled impossibly closer and his hands were tracing gentle circles on your waist

“what are you doing asshole?”

“i’m trying to keep you warm,” he bit back in a haughty tone

good cuddler or not, you were going to kill him

bokuto

when y’all realize there’s only one bed, he plops into it and beckons you over like it’s the most casual thing in the world

if you say you’re going to sleep on the floor, bokuto pouts and gets very upset, afraid you’re going to be uncomfortable

after a bit of arguing, you both agree to shower and share the bed

when you go to tuck in for the night, bokuto pulls your back flush against him as if you do this every night

you freeze at his nonchalance

“are you okay with cuddling? i’m cold,” he whines

as embarrassing as it is, you’re quite comfortable and give into his wishes without any resistance

you’re awoken in the morning by bokuto nuzzling his nose into your neck and mumbling “is it already morning?” in his deep morning voice

you startle, forgetting the position you fell asleep in and that you fell asleep next to your very affectionate crush

bokuto is completely unfazed, only pulling you closer and saying, “five more minutes”

who are you to deny that?

©glassheartjukebox all written content belongs to this user. do not repost, modify, or copy content

[scott-mccall-the-hot-girl]

my ultimate guide to thiam fic !!

( as a new teen wolf stan )

-

the classic post war, long ass (multi chapter) fic !!with great development that genuinely made me laugh out loud, they have the best friendship in this & i love it very much. ( like theo teaches liam to drive and i just *happy sobs* ) a fundamental in thiam fanfiction !! all stans have probably already read it but if you haven’t this is in fact a threat ,, go show this vv iconic story some love !!

Airplanes - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: After the Anuk-ite and the hunters are dealt with Liam needs a break. Cue Theo and a road trip that Liam should know better than to think will be peaceful.

Not Rated, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, 43/43 Chapters, Words: 236,875 (236k)

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okay okay so this one is also post 6B !! but ,, now we introduce fighting monroe & the hunters again ,, so we get the boys & a new mission !! so if you like an intresting plot 11/10 would recommend !! just to be clear this ISN’T complete ,, if that turns you off i understand but definitely give this one a read !! it litterally have theo doing crossword puzzles & fighting zombies

Vacancy Signs - LovelyLittleGrim

Summary: Theo and Liam are in Manhattan negotiating a pack allyship when the zombie apocalypse breaks out. Now, the two of them have to find their way back to Beacon Hills without getting eaten by zombies or killing one another.

Rated: Explicit, Graphic Description of Violence, Not Completed, 15/17 Chapters, Words: 89,605 (89k)

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Royalty AU !! I REPEAT ROYALTY AU !! a fantastic au where i stan their moms more than i stan them !! genuinely so good at the childhood rivals to lovers trope !! i’m genuinely obsessed with this one. has made me cry more than once ,, hurts in a good way <3 the ending is just *chefs kiss* also one of the tags is genuinely: # theo and liam make bad choices for over 130k straight !! if that doesn’t sound appealing i don’t know what does !!

Artificial Love - songbvrd

Summary: Prince Theo and Prince Liam are forced to spend every Summer together from age five onwards. They hate each other, and usually find ways to make each other miserable as much as possible in their six weeks together. But when they're reunited because of intended unions as adults, things change. They're both supposed to be married to noble women, but neither of them is as interested in anyone else as they are with their childhood rival.

Rated: Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, Chapters: 32/32, Words: 172,935 (172k)

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so if you are in the mood for a crack fic that’s not explicitally a crack fic this is for you !! okay so i’m really hit or miss with AU’s ,, sometimes i feel like they don’t quite capture the characters right but this story have the BEST dramatic liam i have ever seen in my life !! basically they all live in the same apartment building & it’s fantastic !! i saw this one floating around a lot but the summary didn’t really unrest me until i have it a shot !! so go read it rn !! also nolan & brett are genuinely fantastic and make me wheeze ,, LIKE ACTUALLY VERBALLY LAUGHING !! all i’m gonna say is that my fav characters are scott & the beetles but that won’t make actual sense until you read it !!

The Neighbors Song - TheodoreR

Summary: “I always hear you singing on your balcony every morning, but suddenly you’ve stopped?”

Or the one where Theo annoys Liam every morning with his awful singing until he doesn’t anymore and Liam is even more annoyed. Liam hates every single thing about his mornings -the fact that they happen in the morning alone is enough. The thing Liam hates the most about his mornings though is the terrible voice of the guy who lives below him. He can’t sing for shit and Liam tried to politely let him understand that by throwing flour and water on his balcony, and also by shouting it to him, you can’t sing for shit!, and then by writing it into a note he proceeded to attach to his door, but this Raeken guy just keeps doing it, every single morning, like a fucking rooster. Liam did nothing to deserve this. He probably didn’t do anything to deserve better either to be fair, he doesn’t expect to open his window and be welcomed by some angelic voice singing him good morning, he’d just be happy with nothing. Silence. That’s something Liam can appreciate in mornings. Just some bark from his dog and the sound of his misery and that’s it. But no, god forbid the new guy lets him have that.

Rated: Explicit, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Wanrings, Completed, 8/8 Chapters, Words: 42,814 (42k)

-

me: i’m not a big fan of AU’s ,, proceeds to talk about ANOTHER au… OKAY BUT THIS ONE !! it’s not complete but the author has been updating regularly ,, vv slow burn !! but in a REALLY intresting way !! i lOVE LIAM IN THIS SO MUCH ,, he is such a diaster of a person and it’s wonderful !! they have a great dynamic & i’m sucker for general puppy pack content ( and erica reyes being a badass ) !! also theo plays lacrosse in this & i really like it ahhhhh ,, also liam is just being an artic monkeys stan the whole time & theo is like *que confused repressed gay noises*

Inglorious Roommates - honeyscape

Summary: A roommate is defined as “a person with whom one shares a room.”

Theo would say a roommate was more along the lines of, “The person who's the bane of his existence. The weirdo that sleeps for days. The spaz that exercises at 3am. The guy with a revolving door of annoying friends. An insufferable human being that Theo has no control over living in his room.”

Example: Theo hates his roommate Liam.

-

okay okay i hate myself but i have another WIP for y’all !! this one is jUST FANTASTIC. i’m genuinely so upset it’s most likely not going to updated again *incoherent screaming ensues*. for this story ,, it’s very theo-centric bUT thats bc it ends right before liam becomes a concrete member of the story !! ANYWAY: basic plot = theo & acquiring not one but two children ,, so #dad theo but he is still crusty & homeless and i love him very much. it’s just so GOOD !! just read if you want to experience my fav theo coming out story & him etching high school musical

Look who's talking - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: Theo had been labeled many things in his life. Evil, failure, monster. He'd never thought Father would be one of those things but as he looked across the table to a six year old with blue smears of bubble gum icecream across her face trying to coax the first words out of her sister. Finger jabbing towards Theo's face as she repeated 'Daddy' again and again he couldn't bring himself to dispute the label.

(Theo accidentally adopts two young werewolves)

Not Rated, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings, Not Completed, Chapters: 16/?, Words: 48740 ( 48k )

-

so here me out: post-canon ( poetry like angst ) summer get away !! just the boys doing cute little domestic things together whilst pining !! theo’s guilt in this is just so powerful & aGjffkgkkfkvkdlv !! i think it’s so interesting to see how they interact in this one, it’s just very heart warming !! and it features one of my favorite niche teen wolf tropes of theo being great with like seven year old girls- it’s just so good ,, very much a wonderful little one shot that just makes your heart happy.

(next time i see you you'll show me) a hundred different ways to say the same things - cherrysprite

Summary: “...You deserve good things,” Liam says eventually. He makes sure not to look at Theo even though he can feel his eyes turn on him. Somehow he can already tell that Theo doesn’t believe him.

Liam instantly makes that the goal of this summer - making Theo believe him.

Rating: Teen and Up, No Archive Warnings Apply, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 28875 ( 28k )

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okay so this next section of fic recs is a bit different !!

two of my favorite authors !! and a compilation of fics i’ve read by them both !!

for context: these two have written some genuinely gorgeous fics, like pure poetry, they explore the real gritty & scary side of our boys relationship in such a wonderful way. they’ve both used some of my favorite tropes & i love them very much !!

whenever i need something soothing but so genuinely intresting & enticing these are my go to !! ( also they both write a lot of good nolan angst & some vv good fics with hayden )

go check out:

eneiryu

as well as fallingforboys

here are some of my favorite fics by them ~

darling i want you here in my arms (kiss the pain away, i know you can) - fallingforboys

even before you touched me, i belonged to you (all you had to do was look at me) - fallingforboys

memories linger like tattoo scars (but your touch on my skin is just as permanent) - fallingforboys

skin, bones, a stolen heart, and an ugly creature lurking underneath -fallingforboys

i don't know how to breathe in the place i called home - fallingforboys

whisper your gossamer truths into the shadow, maybe you'll find the answers you're searching for - fallingforboys

between the mountains and the valley we built a monument to our regret - eneiryu

cracked the hinges of the cage and waited for you - eneiryu

-

okay and finally: since i am a self centered whore

my own fic: an rendition of the # elevator scene

it’s basically my version of post canon if we did get the kiss in the elevator. we got a classic liam pov in which he is has 12/10 for extreme bi diaster energy even whilst being shot at !! so go him ig…

Fuck Off, Fuck This & Fuck It! - nefelibata_peach

Summary: Liam thought to himself heart rate climbing, they were bound to be dead by morning. So he thought with everything but his brain and he kissed him.

Where Liam Dunbar is very confused, slightly traumatized, and just a bit scared but hey, aren't they all! Bad decisions ensue as two boys fight in a war they never did sign up for.

Rating: Teen and Up, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 3558 ( 3k )

[thefanficmonster]

Few Too Many

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing, In-game violence and death, Suggestive comments

Genre: Protective fluff, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Jealousy is a dangerous thing, especially when the jealous person is armed with a gun....in a game of Counter Strike. At least Y/N’s friend will now know not to mess around and flirt with her, especially not with Corpse around.

Requested by 🐐 Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your request! Sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post your request but here it finally is! I didn’t want to make it IRL violence to avoid triggering anyone while I also felt it’d be very ooc for Corpse to beat someone up but I still hope you enjoy the fic if you come across it and read it! Love, Vy ❤

“Hey everyone!“ Y/N greets her squad as they all customize their characters while I sit there, observing and unknowing of what I’m supposed to do. “I invited Corpse to play with us today, hope y’all don’t mind.”

“Of course not! Nice to finally meet you, Corpse. We’ve heard a ton about you from Y/N, thanks for making our girl the happiest she’s ever been.“ One of her friends says, the tone of his voice suggesting he’s only half-joking with the dad like comment he made.

“Nice to meet you too, man. Glad I’m the one she gave the chance of making her happy. That’s all I ever wanna do.“ Though it may sound cheesy, as guys, her friends can probably read into how genuinely I mean what I’ve said.

Dating a girl with only guy friends has it’s pros and cons. Which outweigh which is still up for debate since I’m still researching, but so far so good in my opinion. This is the first time I’m interacting with them directly so I’ve still got a long way to go in terms of getting to know them and the details of their relationship with Y/N better. Regardless, I at least know they can easily understand me and put themselves in my shoes if I ever ‘mess things up’ with Y/N and she goes to complain to them - something that will most likely never happen. I’d never dare make this girl upset. Chances are, if I do, her friends won’t get to me on time - I would deliver my own punishment just the way I think I deserve it. However, there’s also the chance of them getting super protective of her and ganging up on me over something as small as a fight. By the many things and stories Y/N’s shared with me about them, I believe they wouldn’t think twice about kicking someone’s ass for her. They’re not massive dudes - I’ve seen pictures of them - but I for one don’t ever wanna see em angry.

“Ay bro, what’d you do to score our best girl? You must know what she likes. If so please, by all means, do tell.“ One of them, not the one who was previously talking, speaks up, his words making me furrow my brows in both confusion and irritation.

I open my mouth to complain as I slowly start cracking my knuckles when Y/N and her friends beat me to it. Thing is, Y/N’s friend group consists of three guys and her and yet four voices scolded the guy that made that suggestive comment. That being said, this guy probably isn’t considered to be one of her friends, at least not one that’s a permanent part of her friend group.

“Seth, cut it out!“ The guy I was previously speaking to says sharply before softening his tone to refer to me, “Sorry about my brother, excuse his lack of brain cells, please.“

Just then, I also receive a message from someone. Checking my phone, turns out it’s Y/N who by the way is currently in the living room while I’m in the recording room. Her text reads:

Y/N ~ Ignore Seth. I told Leo to not invite him but he’s still here somehow

I send her back a quick reassuring text before answering the guy I now know is named Leo, “No worries, it’s fine.”

“See? The guy can take a joke, you’re all just freaking out over nothing!“ Seth laughs, reminding me and the others of how loud he is compared to us.

Despite acting like it’s no big deal, I can’t help but admit to myself that this behavior of Seth’s has awoken a deeply buried suspicion of mine that’s not only mine but also arises in every guy whose girlfriend hangs out with a lot of guys. It’s not that I don’t trust Y/N - she could literally blindfold me and tell me to walk through a pool of lava, promising it wouldn’t hurt and I’d do it - but we all know about that saying that every guy in a group with one girl has liked said girl at least once.

Disturbing to think these four, including Seth five, dudes could’ve possibly been my competition at some point. It’s nice that they’re all super chill about it, mostly cause some of them have girlfriends as I was told.

Nevertheless, we get over that hiccup and carry on with the small talk and preparations for the game. Since it’s my first time playing CSGO, Y/N, Leo and her other friend Clancy explain the mechanics to me in detail to avoid me getting confused mid-game and getting myself killed. When they finish, we start the round and wait for the game’s algorithm to separate us into two teams which Y/N jokingly refers to as cops and robbers. Unfortunately, the end result of that separation ends up being me getting put in the terrorists’ force with Leo and Clancy while Y/N’s with the FBI, partnered with Seth and her other friend Evan.

“Alright, team, we shall now disperse. Corpse, remember, if you see more than one of them, radio in and lay low, we’ll be with you as soon as possible.“ Leo informs me as he runs off in one direction, Clancy going in the opposite. I confirm I understand and go along my way too, heading for this ancient looking structure that looks like it could belong in an old-timey movie. 

Walking in, I realize the place is way bigger than it appeared on the outside. A quick look up confirms that there are three fucking floors above, not to mention that the ground floor is huge. Luckily, there are many crates and barrels to hide behind if I come across an FBI agent. I sure as hell hope it’s Y/N, I could maybe even try talking her into giving me a second chance at life and pretend she never saw me. Come to think of it though, I’d probably prefer getting killed by her rather than her friends - especially Seth.

Given that we’re in a Discord call, I can hear all the conversation going on. They are all quiet though, I can just periodically hear the mumbles of someone muttering to themselves as they navigate the map cautiously out of fear of running into their opponent unprepared. The silence is put to an end though when Seth speaks up, addressing Y/N.

“Yo, your boyfriend’s with the terrorists, ain’t he? That’s like the universe giving you a sign that y’all shouldn’t be together.“ The fucker laughs at his own joke while I can literally hear Y/N rolling her eyes.

“Have you heard of Romeo and Juliet, Seth?“ She asks sarcastically, almost getting a chuckle out of me but I suppress it to avoid getting caught listening in.

“Yeah, they both die at the end. Fucking boooriiinngg.“ Just then, I spot two silhouettes entering the building. Aiming my gun at them reveals their names - just the people I’m currently involuntarily eavesdropping on. Seth and Y/N don’t notice me though so I quickly duck behind a crate and prepare to radio in when Seth continues verbally torturing Y/N and dancing on my last nerves, “I personally think the friends-to-lovers trope is far more interesting...“

Did this guy just- no, he’s gotta be fucking kidding me

I’m left with my jaw hanging in disbelief at this guy’s audacity. I have no doubt Y/N’s about to put him in his place herself but I just gotta have my own chat with this guy. And by ‘chat’ I mean I mindlessly rush out from behind the crate towards where I saw him and Y/N and open fire on him.  I hear his startled and upset screams with Y/N’s laughter in the background. She doesn’t try to stop me as a teammate of his should and would, instead she just observes the scene unfold, laughing her ass off.

“Yo man what the fuck was that for?!“ I hear Seth’s yell but only faintly since the sound of gunshots is still echoing through my headphones. Yeah, I’m not done shooting this fucker.

“Corpse...Corpse, buddy...“ Y/N manages through fits of laughter she cannot tame, “That’s a few too many bullets, he’s already dead.”

“And that was a few too many comments for him to be let off the hook.” I answer as sharply as I can with the new-formed smile on my face. What can I say, her happiness is contagious.

“Well, you got your first kill in CSGO. Good job, babe! I’m super proud of you!” She cheers for me, clapping her hands excitedly. 

“Nah that was my first overkill.“ I quickly add, with a more threatening tone: “And it won’t be my last.”

“Let’s just hope there aren’t few too many of these overkills either.“ She snickers.

“That doesn’t depend on me, babe.“ I say smugly, suggestively enough for Seth to pick up the dropped hint. Mother fucker’s officially been put in his place and I couldn’t possibly be happier - with the added bonus of getting a ton of laughter out of Y/N who also decides to walk away, leaving me unharmed but promising to shoot to kill next time she sees me.

I’m ok with that. She could kill me anyday.

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse

[beifongsss]

Being Zuko’s S/O

Pairing: Zuko x reader

Requested?: Yes! By an amazing anon! “being zuko’s s/o would include hcs ?”

let’s jump right in.

i didn’t really like this :( but i hope y’all enjoy it. i might go back and write another similar hc down the line.

.masterlist.

~

y’all meet for the first time in ba sing se

it’s sort of like a jin situation where you come in to the tea shop constantly

iroh totally knows you have a crush on his nephew

he always makes him serve your table

you flirt but poor baby doesn’t know what flirting is

you try to be straightforward and tell him that he’s cute or that he looks nice that day

zuko lee doesn’t know how to reply and you always leave him a stuttering mess

you stop coming in for some days and zuko finds himself being sad

he totally misses you

unbeknownst to him you have been helping out the avatar while the gaang is in ba sing se

sorry i’m a sucker for the lovers on opposite sides of the issue trope

a few days later you walk in and you’re sort of bruised up from a mishap that occurred

no surprise there

zuko is low key worried and tries to find a subtle way to ask if you’re okay

“are you worried about me lee?”

“n-no why would i be worried about you?”

he totally is

after a few days you stop showing up again

but zuko doesn’t have time to worry about it because that’s when he gets captured by azula

you aren’t there for the battle in the catacombs, too busy making sure that Sokka and Toph aren’t doing anything dumb

of course, they are

but y’all save the earth king and bosco and mai lets you go so it’s all good

you and lee, who you later find out is zuko, don’t fully start to bond until ember island

feelings start to emerge but you’re all a little worried about sozin’s comet

before leaving to fight azula, he kisses you

“what was that for?”

“i just needed you to know that i kinda like you.”

“well i kinda like you too lee.”

you pull him into another kiss before telling him that he owes you a date when the whole thing is over

he does indeed take you on a date to the jasmine dragon

iroh is so proud of his nephew for finally getting the balls to ask you out

he asks you to be his girlfriend that same night, not wanting to waste any more time being without you

y’all are the cutest couple hands down

he’s protective of course, but he knows you can take care of yourself

(he still makes sure the palace guards follow you everywhere)

((and yes, i mean everywhere))

both sokka and suki flirt with you

they like to get a rise out of the new fire lord

you always chastise them but make sure to throw a few flirty remarks back

zuko gets jealous way too easily

but it’s because he really loves you and he’s afraid of losing you because he’s made so many mistakes and how did he ever get you to go out with him??

he’s also pretty insecure, especially about his scar

but you love him and you always reminds him that his scar isn’t ugly

if anything, it shows just how much he grew and prospered and chose his own destiny in life

and you love it

you’re the only one who can convince him to take a break from his fire lord duties

so the gaang relies on you a lot to make sure zuko is staying healthy

you make sure he isn’t overworking himself

when you notice him getting real tired you try to distract him

“zuko come cuddle me!”

“I’m busy (Y/N)”

you break out the puppy dog eyes

he gives in way too quickly

he doesn’t want to upset you

little does he know you’re only doing that because you wanna make sure he’s getting enough rest

zuko takes you out on a lot of dates

but your favorites are the ones spent by the palace garden’s pond

y’all feed the turtle ducks

he’s so soft when it’s just you and him, telling you stories of his childhood

he likes to stare at you a lot too

“zuko stop staring at me”

“i can’t”

he then swoops in for a kiss and you can’t help but blush because wow

zuko’s a great kisser. fight me.

he holds on to you super tight because as stated before, he’s afraid of losing you

you don’t mind because you just love being in his arms

as the time goes on he becomes so much better at flirting

his favorite past time is making you blush

he succeeds 89% of the time

you’re also zuko’s number one advisor

he gets a lot of criticism bc his s/o is his advisor

your suggestions work 99% of the time

that shuts everyone up

zuko rarely ever lets you sleep in your own room

he loves sleeping with you in his arms

or he loves sleeping wrapped up in your arms

he’s not picky

overall, you’re the person that makes him the happiest

and he never lets you forget it

because he just loves you that much

~

i forgot i had a taglist omg im sorry

@mywigglybaby​, @bubblebars​, @musicalkeys

[thedeviljudges]

the devil judge + the seven deadly sins

so, i made a gifset about who i thought falls under the seven deadly sins. and also shameless plug - please go reblog the gifset i made for this. took me ages to do.

but i figured i might as well make a meta post to correlate. so this is that post. it’s not everything i could discuss. i could be here for hours more, truth be told. but i hope it’s enough to chew on.

while i feel like a lot of these are going to be a no-brainer, i still want to talk it through because idk. i can, and i want to, and i feel like it, lmao.

gluttony

the elite are privileged and have an opportunity to indulge so much more than the general public, but in many different ways. this is shown throughout the show in the fact that they can indulge on luxury food, have political power, they can make a phone call or snap their fingers and everyone must follow their orders.

and the thing about gluttony is that there is always more to be had. you take a little and then realize it’s not enough and so you ask for more. case in point: in episode 11 when sunah suggests that yohan could be the new president, the current one gives her an alternative: dictatorship. because it wasn’t just enough for him to be an actor and the presiding president.

you’ll also know they turn in on themselves - the two other guys in the elite group. one who owns the company and the other dude - i really cannot remember their names and what they do, but y’all know who i’m talking about. it was so easy for them, when threatened, to fabricate documents to give to yohan about each other in order to get ahead. gluttony is only shared in the relationships we have until one realizes they can take a little extra of the pie. it’s the selfishness of having all the leftovers. gluttony cannot necessarily exist without someone else’s sacrifice.

lust

i kind of had an ah-ah moment when i was talking this over with @technitango​. i was trying to decide who was going to be lust because lust is portrayed very, very differently in this show than what most of us are used to. we, of course, know sunah who lusts after a life of indulgence and riches because she equates that with respect more than actually wanting it because it’s monetarily worth something.

but then i realized the public is lust because of their need for justice. i won’t say revenge necessarily because they’re doing as they’re told when given the judge show. but we can quickly see how that evaporates into something akin to bloodlust, for criminals and people who normally get away with shit, to have their fair taste at conviction for their misdeeds. we even see it with yohan’s fanboy club - the lust that comes from adoration and dedication.

and even more so, the public is easily swayed and so is the nature of lust. it follows in the vein of needs and wants, and as soon as new information is presented, however may false, so does the wants and desires of what people want sway. how easy was it for them to turn on yohan for a split second on two occasions - on two accounts of bribery.

envy

envy, above all, is about wanting what others have because you do not have it yourself. it may not be exactly what they have, but a form of it. some people don’t necessarily want money - they want what it can by, which is time, health and material goods.

sunah is the perfect example of this. she envies respect and recognition. she talks about bright and shiny objects, and that’s true to her kleptomania tendences, but more than anything, she wants to be seen as an equal because being poor with a vastly different upbringing means she’s looked down upon by those she thinks matters.

which also begs the question why she feels the need to seek validation from people in higher statuses to begin with when she can be the exception and not the rule - form her own understanding and environment to show others that the typical way of the elite is not actually all it’s cracked up to be - to which we see when she has no one to celebrate her victory with. it’s lonely being at the top. you get to your goal you thought you wanted but then what?

more importantly, sunah also envies family, relationships and simply put, human interaction. she wants to be cared for and treasured, and she looks for that in her position of power. because then all eyes are on you. because then that’s what people care about. what she fails to see is that those eyes are just as fruitless and just as wavering. to be a leader means people loving the idea of you but not you as a person.

“people of envious nature are sometimes stimulated to seek to emulate those who have completed some great achievements and in doing so achieve something great for themselves,” according to Understanding Philosophy.

wrath

while i realize that gaon not might entirely fit the wrath trope, he certainly has his moments, and i think he’s lived with a tampered flame since his parent’s death. he just learned to briefly put it out in the form of distractions and a false sense of righteousness and justice. it isn’t until he meets yohan that someone finally gives him the okay to feel the entirety of his emotions, that lets him breath and tells him it’s okay to feel anger and hurt. and while gaon ultimately chooses not to exact revenge, his wrath is what led him to becoming a judge and walking away from his teenage crimality.

gaon transposed his wrath into seeking justice, transformed it into livelihood, and reformed his narrative so that he was no longer angry and a teen with rash emotions. it was simply redirected and never really forgotten. yohan turned that redirection back around onto gaon’s ultimate heartache. fueled with that, it became easier to justify himself and his actions.

the most pivotal moment of turning his back on this mindset is, of course, the minister’s suicide, where he takes a good look at himself and doesn’t like what he sees. at this point, gaon’s upset isn’t necessarily at yohan but at the situation in which they got themselves into. because the thing is, gaon doesn’t absolve himself from what they did. he doesn’t turn a blind eye to that and try to dismiss it. he owns up to what happened and confesses how he feels to yohan and how he has to leave for his own good, and in some indirect way, for yohan’s, too.

with yohan, his ultimately weakness, despite never admitting to it, is family. his wrath comes in the form of anger when the ones he loves are threatened. yohan lives by a moral code of loyalty because that means you won’t be abandoned, and as a child who lived with that verdict since the day he was born, it’s an ever-pressing theme of his.

thing is, wrath comes in two particular forms for yohan. again, one is family and the second is the rose-colored glasses he’s given himself in his revenge story. he’s always had a goal to presumably make right the wrong for taking away isaac, but within that, 10 years is a long time to plot revenge, to the point where it becomes so much easier to lose yourself to that, to become enraged with it and forget the initial goal all along. we see this in his inability to form the bonding moments needed with his niece and his casual throwaway comments over people’s lives - the comment he made to gaon about moving on to the next plan, and the ultimately nail in the coffin of pushing gaon to leaving him.

his fury has also led him to convince himself his own humanity is nothing short of a lie. therefore, it’s easier to justify the means to an end because of his own self-worth and self-deprecation. it’s almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy: he even admitted to gaon’s mentor that he is an abyss. he’s referred to himself as nothing but an animal or a monster - all characteristics of despondency to survive and to justify what he’s doing. sort of like a catch 22, yohan claims he’s an animal/monster and behaves as such, but because he behaves as such, it means he’s an animal/monster.

wrath for gaon and yohan are very different yet the same. they are slow-burning, and that’s a dangerous type. it’s actually interesting when you think about the fire imagery surrounding the two of them because flames are quick to lap at anything in its wake, to destroy within a matter of minutes. and yet for the two of these men, their internal fire eats them from the inside out, painfully, until they’re almost unrecognizable to others and to themselves.

sloth

sloth was a little more difficult to pinpoint because of its characteristics. it was either the minister versus the mentor, both of which i think could work in this role. however, i chose the minister simply because she’s featured more and intertwines heavily with the plot line.

soth is a medieval translation of the Latin term acedia, meaning “without care.”

the ultimate characteristic of sloth is often identified as laziness, and while it’s easy to argue that the minister hasn’t been lazy in her ability to get where she is, she became as much when she started lying to get to her position. isn’t lying known as the easier way out? it absolves you of responsibility, of putting in the hard work, of apologizing and making things right. in the end, she had a goal and found the easiest solution to get there through her lack of responsibility for the roles she more than likely swore an oath to.

but that also translates into the other attributes of sloth: a failure to do the right thing, lack of emotions for people or of the self, and the fact that it “hinders man in his righteous undertakings and thus becomes a terrible source of man’s undoing” according to The Seven Deadly Sins: Society and Evil.

while i think there are a lot of components of sloth that may not necessarily fit the minister, the apathy and carelessness are enough to showcase her aggression, despondency and restlessness when what little efforts she does put in do not go her way. another interesting thing to note is that many of sloth’s traits correspond with symptoms of mental illness, such as depression and anxiety. it’s an interesting thing to note given the way the minister chooses to end her life.

greed

i don’t know that jinjoo would’ve had any provocation to the limelight if it wasn’t for sunah’s direction, but she’s eager to please and wants to be useful. it’s only natural for her to want more because it’s clear she’s a career woman, loves her job and has a heart for serving the people.

but like gluttony, greed is also that little thing that plants itself and can take on a life of its own. you start looking for justifications as to why you can’t have more than what you do, and in jinjoo’s situation, she’s already overlooked through no fault of her own. and it’s not that gaon and yohan are doing it purposefully, which is what makes their neglect heartbreaking, because truthfully, they’re after the same thing jinoo is. sure, it looks different and the foundation of it is different, same with their motives. but they’re all three judges on a residing bench working to exact justice - even if all three of them have their own personal agenda. 

i don’t think jinoo fully aligns with greed, but she does want more for herself, and i think that’s only natural. you can tell she has a heart, and she’s keen not to be overlooked. this isn’t her pain point so much as it is she knows her worth and is more than ready to do what it takes to get where she wants. this, in and of itself, isn’t necessarily a bad trait, but we can see how it leads to being deceived, especially for someone who’s been left in the dark for so long.

she is enticed by the glitz and the glamour of being a head judge, but you can tell she feels some remorse and guilt for those thoughts at times. i think her sense of greed is a battle within herself more than it is extremely outwardly.

pride

soohyun’s pride comes in the form of her imbalance with right and wrong. her sense of righteousness and justice is so far leaning, even more than gaon’s. it can be chalked up to her being a cop, but we’ve seen instances of this outside of her role within that agency. her pride doesn’t let her see beyond saving gaon and getting to the bottom of every mystery that comes her way.

it also comes in the form of impulsiveness and her savior complex, putting elijah in danger, for example, instead of waiting for backup. it’s not necessarily from a belief that she can fix things all on her own, but she sees injustice and immediately jumps in. another case in point is her and gaon watching yohan wreck the minister’s son’s car. she’s ready to go stop him, but gaon pulls her back, most likely because at that point, they hadn’t been observing the situation for very long to get a read on it. also the fact that at that point, neither of them truly knew yohan and his capabilities.

but as to where her characteristics come from, we simply don’t know beyond that of gaon. it’s unfortunate because we don’t have much of her backstory, so there is no real understanding why she so firmly believes in entities of regulation beyond keeping her friend out of jail. she prides herself on her work and what she’s able to accomplish, which is why it’s devastating to her to have to protect gaon by cleaning up his bloody handprint.

aristotle is of the belief that, “pride, then, seems to be a sort of crown of the virtues; for it makes them greater, and it is not found without them. Therefore it is hard to be truly proud; for it is impossible without nobility and goodness of character,” from Nicomachean Ethics.

but pride for soohyun isn’t about honors or rewards. it’s for herself and her capabilities, her ability to protect gaon, and the virtues she’s set as the precedent for herself. because sometimes it’s not even about establishing morals and ethics upon yourself. it’s about feelings/intuition, logic and observation. and no, i don’t mean the feelings she has for gaon. there are things that humans do, both actions and words, that we inherently know are bad without someone telling us as much and without the rules of the world seared into our brains. there are some things we know, for a fact, are wrong to us as individuals.

for soohyun, she knows that gaon’s actions, and even her own, have consequences. from what we’ve seen, i think it can be argued that it’s really about not doing those actions to prevent an outcome - not necessarily from a place of being just and right. that doesn’t mean she doesn’t understand good morals/ethics, but again, we have no background of what her internal guidance actually is.

to put this in layman’s terms, we’ll use gaon wanting to stab the conman in his youth. soohyun knows it’s wrong because it will incriminate gaon and therefore she stops it. gaon’s gone to her because he sees her as a moral compass. but is her own internal navigation rooted in justice the way gaon had to find it in the judicial system, or is hers rooted in her pride of keeping gaon safe? she stops him from doing things that will get him in trouble, but is she stopping him because the action itself is wrong or because the outcome will result in undesirable consequences for the two of them?

and of course, there is a flipped argument to be had there - i’m not arguing that gaon stabbing the conman would be right or justified. but what i am saying is that for her, her worldview is the only right one, and when anyone steps out of that, even gaon, it becomes a bit of an issue: the pride she has for that is palpable.

every character indulges

truthfully, every character has at least one form of these sins rooted in their characterization. some are larger than others, but the breadth of it can be explored even further for each. and that’s what makes them more realistic and not just characters written on a page or following a linear progression of their writing deity.

the seven deadly sins are also notoriously rooted in religion. they’re also a defining feature of aristotle’s works that represent the golden mean, in which each vice is parallel to a virtue.

the devil judge is so layered, but i think at the heart of it, it’s about humanity at its core. sprinked in are the philosophies and contradictions and what it means to look in the mirror, what happens when we’re blind to seeing our true selves and most importantly, how much changes when we’re swayed by our own misgivings. it really asks us to understand nature versus nurture, that people must find a belief in something to keep them going, and how futile our hopes and desires can actually be if we’re not carefully regulating ourselves, nevermind the entities established by society to regulate us, too.

the entirety of the show genuinely begs the question as to who is truly right, who is truly wrong, and if it’s even possible to find the correct answer.

[haidyn-reeves]

Lie to Me

Summary: The classic truth spell trope with a wicked twist.

Pairing: Dean x Female!Reader

Word Count: 4948 

Warnings: Dean’s an asshole. Angst makes the world go ‘round. Insecurities briefly mentioned. Did I mention Dean’s an asshole? Fluff if you squint.

A/N: I’m back! This is my entry for @jawritter‘s Make Me Cry challenge and @deanwanddamons 2k Celebration! My prompts are in bold. I hope y’all enjoy!

It was no secret that Dean had changed since he took the Mark of Cain. He was more reckless than normal, which only progressed after taking out the entire Stine family for what they did to Charlie and almost did to Y/N. Y/N was in the bunker when the Stines invaded, resorting to hiding in one of the trunks of the classic cars in the garage to stay safe. Once Dean left Castiel bloody and battered in the library, he raced to the garage, having told Y/N not to move until he came for her. When he found her, his features only softened once he saw how terrified she was of him; the amount of blood covering his clothes and hands was enough to turn her stomach. Y/N, as usual, did her best to clean up the older Winchester, using it as a way to distract her from what happened only hours prior. When it was time to say goodbye to Charlie, Y/N separated herself from the brothers, the tension between them so thick you needed a chainsaw to cut through. Dean tossed some heated remarks to Sam and Y/N sank to the muddy ground, furious that this was happening in front of the pyre that held their dear friend. Dean stormed off and Sam came around to help her up, the pair watching the bow-legged hunter climb into his Impala and drive away.

Dean was angry, and the only way he knew how to release that anger was to hunt and kill whatever he could. He scoured the news, desperate to find something he could take down, preferably alone. He couldn’t look at Sam, blaming his brother for the death of his surrogate sister. He didn’t want to bring Y/N with him, he just wanted to drive, hunt, and kill.

Dean found a case, one that would hopefully settle the Mark’s need for blood and his own anger. The fact that it was a witch was an added bonus.

He left in the middle of the night when Sam and Y/N couldn’t try to stop him or tag along. He felt a little bad leaving Y/N behind but the Mark stung too badly for him to care at the moment. He wouldn’t be gone long, the case was only two states over, he’d back soon enough. 

In the bunker, Y/N was pissed that Dean was ignoring her calls. Sam expected it, he knew how angry Dean was, so he expected for his brother to ignore him, but Y/N? He adored her, for Dean to ignore her was unlike him. Y/N was confused, she wasn’t part of the plot to save Dean, Sam explicitly kept her out of the loop because he knew asking her to sneak behind Dean’s back was out of the question. She was loyal to the older Winchester, to a fault, and asking her to go against his wishes was more than even Sam could muster. 

Ever since the Stines invaded and killed Charlie, Y/N was thinking about her feelings for Dean. She called him immediately when they broke the door down and he’s the one who instructed her to hide in the garage; it was a plan the two agreed on for these situations. While she was hiding in the trunk of one of the vintage vehicles, all she could think about was that she could die and never be able to tell Dean how she felt. She decided then that she’d tell him, and soon. That’s why she was so upset that he left without telling her, it just prolonged her getting everything out in the open.

While the two waited in the bunker for Dean’s return, Dean handled the witch with ease. She tried at the last minute to hit him with what he assumed was a spell of sorts, but the witch killing bullet was in her before she could finish the incantation. He felt better, the Mark’s hunger was satiated, and there was one less witch causing trouble. A win all around, in his book.

Y/N was sitting in the library researching when the bunker door opened three days later. She was trying to keep the hurt and the anger at bay, still upset that Dean was ignoring her for reasons she couldn’t figure out while she was ready to tell him how she felt. Sam was out grabbing dinner, she assumed it was him.

“That was fast,” she remarked, getting up to help him unpack, until she was face to face with Dean. “Oh, not Sam. Welcome home.” She moved to greet him with a hug, only for him to step back out of her reach. Her face fell, Dean never rejected her touch, even with the Mark. “Dean?”

“Don’t touch me,” he growled, “I hate it when you throw yourself at me like that.”

“You…what? Since when?”

“Since forever. Just shows how clingy you are.”

Y/N stared in shock before letting her eyes cast to the floor, the heat in her cheeks so warm coupled with his venomous glare that she was growing physically uncomfortable before him. “I’m s-sorry. I didn’t realize…I thought we…I thought you and I…“

“What? You thought there was something here?” Dean motioned between the two of them. “Far from it.” He looked her over, his eyes running over her figure. “You think I’d ever want you?”

“I…I thought m-maybe…”

“Well I don’t. I don’t even want you here.”

“That’s not true,” she whispered, knowing if she was really that unwelcome, he’d have no problem kicking her out.

“True? You want the truth? Oh, sweetheart, you can’t handle the truth. But I’ll give it to you. Don’t you think if I wanted you, I’d have done something by now? You’re just another burden that was dumped on me that I didn’t ask for.” He paused, circling the war table, Y/N visibly shaking before him as she tried to keep herself composed, though it was obvious she was already broken at his words. “You’re always in the way, you know? You’re one more person I have to protect on hunts, since you’re not exactly reliable these days. Maybe if you were in shape you’d be less of a liability, then I wouldn’t have to constantly be saving your sorry ass-“

“Dean!” Sam barked, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Y/N hadn’t even heard him come in, the blood was pounding in her ears as she fought back tears, refusing to cry in front of Dean for fear he’d throw that in her face, too. He already implied she was fat, using her biggest insecurity against her, she didn’t need him throwing another one her way.

“What? I’m just saying,” Dean shrugged.

“You don’t just say that,” Sam glared before shooting a knowing look to Y/N, nodding his head towards the kitchen. She took the hint and all but ran out of the room. “What the hell could she have said to make you say that to her? She didn’t do anything to you.”

“She’s just annoying, another mouth to feed, a cockblock at the bar. We don’t need her here bringing us down. I wish she’d just leave.”

“Do you even hear yourself? That’s Y/N. She’s done more for us than anyone else has. She takes care of us when we’re sick and hurt, she puts up with our shit, specifically all of your shit and you…what the fuck Dean?”

Dean rolled his eyes, picking up his bags and turning to leave the room. Sam watched in disbelief before joining Y/N in the kitchen finding her with her head in her hands at the table. “Hey, hey, shhhh,” he whispered, sitting down next to her and pulling her into his arms. She sobbed harshly into his flannel. 

“He h-hates me,” she cried, the words muffled against his shirt. Sam shook his head, furious with his brother.

“He doesn’t, he couldn’t.” He rubbed her back soothingly, gently rocking her from side to side. “That wasn’t my brother.”

“I…I d-don’t understand,” she whimpered, sniffling.

“What exactly happened? Can you tell me?”

Y/N sat up slightly, wiping the tears off her cheeks and taking a deep breath to steady herself. “I thought he was you, I said hello, went to hug him. He backed up and when I tried to see what was wrong, he just started in on me.” She looked down. “I was finally ready to tell him, Sam.”

His eyes widened, knowing exactly what she meant. “Oh fuck no,” he muttered, pulling her back into his embrace. “Something must’ve happened while he was gone…but even then he had no right to talk to you like that. For everything that he’s been through, even with the Mark, he’d never, ever, talk to you like that. If it was anyone else, they’d be dead. If he could’ve heard himself…“ Sam stopped, shaking his head in anger. “Something’s not right.”

“Am…am I clingy, Sam?” Y/N asked quietly, Dean’s words echoing in her head.

“God, no, Y/N. You’re not. A few hugs and cuddles here and there doesn’t make you clingy.” Sam smiled sadly, tucking her hair behind her ear. “You are one of the best things to happen to Dean and me. You look after us, keep this place running, you help with hunts and research. You’re incredibly important to us and you’re a part of this little family, regardless of what my brother said. I love you, he loves you…hell, the real him adores you. You’re the little sister I always wanted, I always want you around. You’re not a cockblock or another mouth to feed and you certainly don’t bring us down. You build us up and help us keep going, every day. And before you say anything, no, there is nothing physically wrong with you, so please don’t get back into that headspace. You’re doing so well, don’t let this bring you back into that dark place. I’ll talk to him.”

Y/N smiled weakly, eyes brimming over with tears at Sam’s reassurance. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“You’re welcome,” he smiled, placing a soft kiss to her forehead. “How about you go take a bath and relax a bit while I try to figure out what’s going on, okay?”

She nodded and he squeezed her in another hug before letting her go, watching her leave the kitchen and make her way towards her room, which was unfortunately next to Dean’s. Y/N tiptoed passed his room, terrified of doing anything to set him off on her again. Once in the safety of her bedroom, she gathered her comfiest pajamas, slippers, and her favorite bath soap to bring to the bathroom. She set those items aside, rummaging for her duffle. She didn’t like being so close to Dean after what happened, so she decided to throw her necessities and some clothes into the bag, topping it with her favorite pillow and blanket. She knew the bedroom next to Sam’s was empty, for now she’d make that her room until she felt comfortable being around the older hunter again.

On the way to the bathroom, Y/N dropped her bag, blanket and pillow into the spare room, closing the door behind her before heading into the private, smaller bathroom in the bunker. She turned the water on in the tub, adjusting the temperature before plugging the drain and adding her bath soap before shedding her clothes and sinking into the water below the bubbles.

Down the hall and a few twists and turns away, Sam was making his way to Dean’s room, having already sent a quick prayer to Castiel in hopes he could help him figure out what was wrong with his brother. 

“Sam,” Castiel greeted with a flutter of his wings, “what’s going on?”

Sam sighed heavily. “Something’s wrong with Dean, I don’t know what but the way he just lashed out at Y/N tells me it’s bad.” They stopped outside Dean’s door, Sam knocking hard three times before opening the door, not bothering to wait for an invitation.

“Get out,” Dean growled, ripping his headphones off his ears. 

“Not until you tell me what happened when you were gone to make you come back a grade A douchebag,” Sam shot back.

“Nothing happened, now get out.”

“Dean, you’re not yourself.”

“I’m fine,” Dean glared, his eyes on Castiel. 

“The Dean I know never would’ve said what he did to Y/N, so that’s bullshit,” Sam argued.

“She had it coming,” he shrugged. Sam’s eyes widened and his nostrils flared with anger. “Oh, calm down.”

“You know what Dean? Maybe you should leave for a while,” Sam started, advancing towards Dean, “sort your shit out.”

Dean rose from his bed, glowering at his little brother. “You’re really gonna kick me out? For her?”

Before Sam could respond, Castiel took the opportunity to move around Sam, placing his fingers to Dean’s forehead to see if he could use his grace to identify the problem. “He’s under a spell.”

“A spell? What kind of spell?” Sam asked, looking between the angel and the thoroughly pissed off hunter.

“I’m not sure, but it’s there, clinging to him.” Castiel pressed his fingers to Dean’s forehead again to try and ease him a bit to get him to cooperate better. Dean sat back down on his bed, a little more relaxed.

“Dean, you have to tell me what happened when you were gone,” Sam pleaded.

“I was on a hunt, it was a witch.”

“Do you remember anything that she said?”

“She was chanting something but I killed her before she could finish.”

“Or maybe you didn’t,” Sam sighed. “I’ll call Rowena, see if she can maybe give use insight as to what kind of spell the witch used.” He pulled out his phone before looking at his brother again. “You stay the hell away from Y/N, got it? You’ve done enough damage.”

“I’ll watch him,” Castiel offered, Sam nodding in agreement before shooting his brother one last look and heading to the library, dialing Rowena’s number.

“Samuel,” she answered.

“Rowena, I need your help.”

“You seem to be needing a lot of that lately, Samuel. And yet you’ve done nothing for me in return.”

“I’m working on it,” he responded curtly, “the quicker you get to the bunker, the faster I finish the deal. It’s about Y/N.”

The witch sighed, having developed a soft spot for the girl. “Fine, fine. I’ll be there soon.”

After her bath, Sam informed Y/N that Rowena was coming and that there was some sort of spell involved. Y/N cringed at his brother’s name, her body tensing. Sam explained that he knew the spell wasn’t an excuse for what Dean said to her, but it helped piece a few things together. Y/N just wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to look at the hunter the same way again.

Until Rowena arrived, Y/N stayed in her new bedroom, locked away from everyone but Sam. He brought her meals, knowing she wasn’t up to wandering the bunker halls and risking the chance of running into Dean. As strong as he knew she was, even he didn’t think she’d be able to handle another run-in with the older hunter. 

Two days later, Rowena made her way down the steps of the bunker. Sam did his best to fill her in on what little information he got from Dean, which was a terrible pronunciation of whatever the young witch chanted at him, plus the crap attitude he’d been exhibiting ever since, including what he said to Y/N.

“But here’s the thing, I know my brother and I know how he feels about her, and it’s…it’s like everything he said to her is the exact opposite of what he’s ever said to me about her. He’s said some pretty fucked up things in his life, even to me, but to her? He’d never. It doesn’t make sense, he said the witch didn’t even finish the spell.”

“Perhaps your brother changed his mind.”

“Rowena, no. Cas was able to detect the remnants of a spell that seems to be stuck to him. That’s why I need your help, I don’t know what spell it could be.”

“Your brother, he possesses the Mark of Cain, correct?” Sam nodded. “Then whatever spell she cast…the Mark in a way protects the person who bears it. The person can’t die, as you know. In this case, it sounds like the Mark warped the spell that was thrown at Dean and it’s now sticking to him instead of wearing off like it normally would after a few days.”

“But what kind of spell? A truth spell wouldn’t make him say all that…”

“No, but the Mark could twist a truth spell into making him lie, instead. Do you know anything about the witch?”

“She was casting truth spells and tearing couples apart around town,” Dean answered, making his presence known as he entered the war room. “She was angry that her husband had an affair and she took it out on everyone else.”

Sam groaned. “So that’s it. It was a truth spell but the Mark made you lie instead of actually tell the truth.”

Rowena rolled her eyes, “and turned you into quite the dick.” Dean shot a glare at the red-head, ready to bark a nasty reply when Sam stepped between the two.

“You don’t speak unless we ask you to,” he ordered, staring down his brother. Dean’s eyes widened before he cocked a brow, smirking.

“You don’t think there’s more I could say to you this time?”

“I don’t care what you say to me, I know it isn’t you. But Y/N? She’s off limits.”

“Too late for that-“

“ENOUGH,” Rowena yelled, both hunters jumping in surprise, “now, Samuel, you can fetch me these ingredients and Dean, well, you can sit down and keep your mouth shut.”

As Sam went to the storage room to gather the ingredients needed for the spell to reverse the one stuck to Dean, Rowena followed him to Y/N’s makeshift room, knocking on the door. 

“Go away,” Y/N answered pitifully.

“Someone’s here to see you, honey,” Sam answered, “its safe, I promise.” He unlocked her door and left her and Rowena alone while he went to find her supplies. Y/N sat up on her bed, her eyes lighting up at the sight of the witch.

“Hi,” she smiled weakly, moving over on her bed to make room for the witch.

“Oh darlin’, Auntie Rowena will fix it,” she soothed, sitting at the foot of the bed. “You see, Dean was hit with a truth spell, but because he bears the Mark, the spell backfired and made him lie instead. Sam’s fetching me the ingredients I need for a reversal to get rid of the spell that’s clinging to him because of the Mark.”

“So…all the things he said…”

“I’m guessing whatever he wanted to say, he said the opposite. Apparently the witch was cheated on by her husband and due to her anger she took it out on everyone, especially men, and cursed them to tell the truth. But in Dean’s case, he was cursed to lie.”

“And be a douche,” Y/N muttered. “He said some awful things, Ro.”

“The man’s not exactly kind on a good day if you’re on his bad side,” Rowena noted. “I’ll fix him. He’s going to remember everything and run in here and apologize, you’ll see.”

“I’m not sure I can look at him, I mean, he was so cold…so brutal. If I look at him that’s all I’ll see.”

“I think once he realizes what he said and how badly he hurt you, you’ll see a side of him you’ve never seen before. Dean’s very protective of you, we all know it, so once he realizes he’s the one who hurt you, he’s gonna be devastated. You just have to remember, it wasn’t him.”

Y/N nodded, though still apprehensive. Rowena smiled warmly, patting her legs before leaving the room to see if Sam found everything. Y/N curled back up under the covers, thinking about what Rowena said. Knowing that a spell made him say those things made her feel the smallest bit better, but it was still replaying in her head since it happened. She could still see Dean’s look of disgust and hear the hatred dripping off his tongue. The idea of facing him, even after he was cured of this spell, still terrified her.

In the library, Dean was sitting at one of the tables nursing his whiskey while Rowena and Sam worked on the spell. Cas was on standby, ready to intervene if Dean got out of hand somehow and also to see if the lingering spell faded. 

Minutes later, Rowena was chanting the incantation for the reversal, Sam and Cas on either side of Dean as a precaution. A beat passed before Dean’s stoic expression faded and his eyes glowed green. Rowena sighed with relief and Cas pressed two fingers to Dean’s forehead, nodding. The spell worked, Dean was back to normal.

And oh, what a crash it was.

Dean blinked a few times, looking around at their worried faces as he registered what had happened. When he realized who was missing in the room, his eyes widened as it all came flooding back like a movie scene in his head. 

“Where is she?” He choked, a wave of panic washing over him as he realized the magnitude of what he said to her.

“You remember?” Dean looked at Sam, shame and regret on his face.

“Everything.”

“She’s in the room next to mine, just go easy on her, Dean. You really did a number on her.” Dean nodded, hastily leaving the library and racing down the bunker halls until he got to the room Y/N was in. He took a deep breath before knocking softly.

“Come in,” she called, voice quiet. Dean turned the knob slowly, opening the door to find her curled up on the bed. The blatant fear on her face didn’t go unnoticed by Dean, the grimace leaving a sharp pain in his chest.

“Sweetheart,” his voice was barely above a whisper, “we need to talk.”

“I think you’ve said enough,” she answered, less bite in her reply than she would have liked.

“That…that wasn’t me, you know I’d never-“

“I thought I did, Dean. But that…even with a spell…,” She looked away from him, shaking her head. Dean’s face fell, eyes filling with tears. He really fucked up and it wasn’t even his fault this time.

“Y/N, I swear on Sam’s life, I didn’t mean a single word that I said to you that night. That wasn’t me talking, that was the spell. It’s like everything I wanted to say to you came out the complete opposite, the Mark completely took over and I’m so fucking sorry.” Dean paused, slowly making his way to her bed. When she didn’t object, he sat down by her feet.

“Sweetheart, I need you to look at me,” he begged. Y/N looked up from the spot she was fixated on on the floor, her eyes meeting his teary ones. “I wouldn’t change a single thing about you, you are perfect exactly the way you are. I wouldn’t be able to go on day after day without you supporting me. You aren’t a burden and I never want you to leave even though I think you deserve better than this life. Selfishly, I can’t let you go. You make this place feel like a home and I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re not clingy…you mean so much to me, Y/N. I can’t tell you how sorry I am and how much I hate that I’ve hurt you. I’m supposed to protect you and you’re…you’re scared of me.”

“You looked at me with such hate,” she whispered, cringing. “I can’t unsee it no matter how hard I try.”

“Sweetheart, I could never hate you,” Dean breathed, “not when I’m too busy loving you.”

Y/N’s eyes widened, “You…what?”

“When I got back that night you said you thought there was something between us and I told you there wasn’t because of the spell’s influence. Under normal circumstances, I would’ve agreed with you. There’s always been a different connection between you and I. I don’t see you as a little sister the way Sam does. I know what I said, but Y/N, how could I not want you?”

Y/N blinked, trying to process what he was saying. “Uh, well, for starters, look at me.”

“I’m always looking at you. I think you’re beautiful exactly the way you are. You take care of me, you put up with my shit, and you’re my best friend. I can’t see myself with anyone else.”

“Dean…I-“

“You don’t have to say it back. I put you through hell, I don’t expect you to feel that way about me anymore.”

“No, I do, and that’s been the hardest part.”

Dean smiled sadly, reaching out to cup her cheek. “If you let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life, however long that is, proving to you that I mean everything I just said.”

“It wasn’t you,” she whispered, “you don’t have to.”

“But I’ll do it if it means you’ll forgive me.” He wiped a few stray tears off her cheek, his thumb grazing her cheekbone. “Can I hold you?” He asked meekly, biting his lip. She nodded into his palm before getting scooped up in a hug, her face buried in his neck as Dean finally broke, tears landing in her hair. “I’m so sorry,” he cried, squeezing her to him.

“Dean,” she mumbled, her lips against his skin sending shivers down his spine. “Please don’t cry.” She rubbed his back softly, trying to soothe him. She didn’t expect this. 

“I hate this thing so much,” he muttered, her eyes casting down to his forearm where the Mark was hidden by his henley sleeve. “All it does is make me angry and it’s getting harder and harder to control it, especially after…”

“I know,” she nodded, knowing he meant Charlie and the Stines. “That whole thing…that’s what made me want to tell you how I felt about you. Waiting for you in the trunk of the car felt like an eternity and I knew I would be okay as long as you got to me. I always feel safe when I’m with you, Dean, always. But I was so scared that they’d find me first and I’d die before getting to tell you. You were so angry and it felt wrong to tell you right after we lost Charlie, but I gathered the little confidence I had while you were gone-“

“And then I came home under a spell and said what I said.” Dean sighed, his grip tightening on her. “When you called me and told me the Stines broke in, Y/N, I’ve been in awful situations like that before with Sam but this…this felt so different. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, not until I saw you and knew you were okay. Everything felt like it was going in slow motion, no matter how fast I drove.” Y/N shuddered at the memory, digging herself deeper into Dean’s chest, face pressed against his neck. She inhaled deeply, relaxing as his scent that can only be described as Dean calmed her senses. “You’re okay, you’re safe,” he whispered, kissing her hair. He laid them down on her bed, tucking her under his chin.

“Dean,” she whispered, fisting his henley. 

“Yeah baby?”

“I do love you, you know.” She could feel the chuckle rumble through his chest.

“I maybe had a small feeling, or at least hoped I was reading everything right.” He ran his fingers through her hair gently, breathing in her shampoo. “Will you give me a chance to make it all up to you?”

She pulled back to look up at him, cupping his cheek. He nuzzled against her palm, eyes locked on hers as his stubble tickled her skin. “Of course, handsome.” He grinned, pressing a kiss to her palm as she blushed. She couldn’t stay mad at Dean, never was able to. But knowing how he truly felt about her, that everything that happened was the work of a witch, she knew she couldn’t hold a grudge. That wasn’t her Dean, the man who sang her back to sleep when her nightmares took over even though he hated singing to anyone but Baby’s steering wheel. The man looking at her so intently, holding her so tightly, this was her Dean. “And Dean?” 

“Sweetheart?”

“I forgive you,” she smiled, Dean’s eyes softening as he let out a breath of relief he didn’t know he was holding. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, pulling her impossibly closer. He kissed her forehead and her nose before softly kissing her lips, pulling back and brushing his nose against hers. Dean knew what happened wasn’t his fault, and Y/N may have forgiven him anyway, but he fully intended on spending the rest of his life, however long it may be, making sure she knew just how much he loved her, and doing his very best to deserve someone as incredible as her.

[endlessymphony]

🧸 Congrats on 50! It is very much so deserved and so are all the future followers! If it’s not too much could I request a fluffy blurb with the one and only Remus Lupin, like a classic friends to lovers awkward and sweet first date shenanigans? Ilyyyy

thank u my beloved anon! <3

i think i’m in love with you. (pt. 1???)

pairing - remus lupin x reader

summary - the good ol’ best friends to lovers trope

warnings - cussing, lots of awkwardness, mentions of underage drinking

a/n - this is vaguely inspired by my ‘you are the kind of boy that they write love songs about.’ spotify playlist— because it’s adorable + has the same vibe

a/n continued; pls let me know if you guys want me to continue this fic to include the date! i honestly think this is just so sweet and cute, and would love to hear some feedback about it :) (might make it a two parter if y’all like it enough!!)

you and remus had been friends since fourth year, and while it wasn’t quite the ‘perfect’ first impression that brought you together, recalling the memory makes you smile nonetheless. most would claim that first impressions are truly everything, but you would beg to differ- seeing as being drenched in pumpkin juice by a very apologetic and slightly aloof boy has now led to one of the best friendships you’ve ever had.

tonight was just an average friday night in the gryffindor dorms as the marauders were hosting their usual ‘study’ night; obviously there was lots of chatter and laughter with an absence of any real studying happening, the name only aided in the fight against being caught by any teachers.

you and remus had claimed the couch whilst lily, james and sirius were scattered about the floor, peter sitting in a chair beside the couch.

glasses in hand, you were all slightly tipsy off of combinations of muggle alcohol that sirius managed to get his hands on, chests feeling as if they were alight. your skin tingled, brain and tongue feeling fuzzy as you laughed along with the others about something that james said.

you looked over at remus and caught him staring at you, you made brief eye contact before he looked away, a bit shy, but you giggled at decided to brush it off.

“you guys will never guess what i got for us tonight.” sirius started, legs slightly wobbly as he stood up. he reached into his pocket and retrieved a vial of veritaserum, “what better way to play truth or dare... then with some of this?”

you all looked around at each-other skeptically, knowing all about what that tiny vial can do to friendships, relationships, and your head. “i say we do it.” james pipes up, a smirk coming to his face. “...unless any of you have something to hide.” he turns to look at you and remus, raising his eyebrows a bit. you and remus turned to look at once another, cheeks darkening as your faces start to heat up. you look away quickly and try to ignore it, again.

ignore that feeling pooling in your stomach. the way your heart begins to flutter when you lock gazes. no, it can’t mean anything, right?

you all eventually give in to sirius’ antics, passing around the vial- everyone taking a shot. you’re the one to finish off the potion, it was an odd taste, your face contorting as you swallow it. not sweet, but not bitter, but also not sour- somehow all three combined to be one of the weirdest things you’ve ever tasted.

you place the glass vial down on the table in front of you, everyone waiting for the potion to take its effect. you sipped on your drink as you waited, hoping the taste of whatever lily mixed up would wash away the taste of the veritaserum.

and soon enough the ‘truth’ serum, as its called, began to work its magic on the rest of the group and yourself. your thoughts began to run- what if i mention the way that remus makes me feel? no, y/n, we’re not doing that tonight, plus no one will ask about it anyways. well, you spoke-thought too soon. everyone knew in some way or another that you and remus each had a thing for one another, so why not play on it when you’re both forced to tell the truth?

lily turned to the two of you with a wicked grin, just finishing up her dare, which you had missed due to the fact that you were consumed by your thoughts. her voice snapped you out of the haze, “so, y/n, truth or dare?” she drawled. both were terrible options. you knew that if you chose dare, you would end up licking someone’s foot or running down the corridor topless. but! truth was all the more terrifying. though, you suppose it’s the lesser embarrassing one of the two.

“truth.” you responded flatly, mumbling under your breath begging the universe to not mention remus. “what’s going on with you and remus, hm? do you like each-other?” her eyes glinted mischievously as she swirled the remnants of the drink in her hand around her cup. you wanted to say ‘nothing!’ but that wasn’t happening, mouth going before mind.

“i think he’s cute, and he gives me this weird butterfly feeling in my chest and sometimes talking to him makes me feel nauseous because i’m so nervous, maybe i think i’m in love with him.” you slapped your hand over your mouth to stop what felt like a stream of verbal diarrhea, eyes widening at what you just said. “shit, fuck. remus, i’m so sorry.” you said turning to him as you stood up.

you could almost cry from the embarrassment, well, that’s what you were doing as you speed walked back to your dorm. you couldn’t stay there, not after that, and you definitely couldn’t face remus. you just told your best friend you were in love with him, for merlins sake! if that wasn’t going to ruin the friendship- no, don’t even go there. that will ruin the friendship.

you launched yourself onto your bed, door shutting behind you. burying your head in the pillows, you just wished the mattress would swallow you so that you didn’t have to face reality. tears were scarce by this point, most of them streaming down your cheeks as you sped away into the hall.

remus was still sitting in the common room, dumbfounded. “shit.” he mumbled, mind completely scattered after your turn. james and sirius turned to him, sympathetically, well as sympathetically as they could until sirius cocked an eyebrow and started to muse, “you gonna go get them lover-boy?”

“yeah-“ he smoothed his hands on his sweater, “i am.” remus stood up and took after you, knowing that you always holed yourself up in your dorm whenever anything upset you. ‘they’re bound to be wrapped in blankets, face in the pillows’ he thought.

and that’s how you were exactly. wrapped in a crocheted blanket, face in the pillows. you didn’t know if you wanted to scream, or cry, or just run away and get a new identity and start a new life at beauxbatons or something as a transfer student.

remus reached your dorm, fist quivering as he started to knock on your door. “y/n.” he called, voice wavering. you sat up, “the doors open, rem.” he peeked in, a goofy grin coming to his face. “there you are.” he chimed, closing the door behind him as he walked in, sitting on your bed beside you.

“you always do that, y’know? whenever you’re upset or embarrassed, you always wrap yourself in that blanket and lay face down. sometimes you scream, or cry, or just end up taking a nap.” he chuckles lightly. “i hope you don’t feel bad about earlier.” remus stares at his feet, tapping one against the hardwood flooring. “i just don’t wanna ruin our friendship with my stupid crush.” you admit, feeling defeated, but he chuckles again.

you turn to look at him and cock your head, “what’s so funny?” you feel even worse, is he mocking you right now? laughing in your face? ouch- remus you absolute douchebag.

but it’s none of that, “well, y/n, to put it plainly, i think i’m in love with you too.” he stops his foot, looking up at you. your eyes meet, hearts both racing. “oh.” is all you can manage. his eyes dart back to the floor, “would, uh” he clears his throat slightly, “could i kiss you? maybe? would that be okay?” remus’ face starts to turn pink, a colour that you always thought complimented him quite well.

“yeah. that would be fine.” you replied, breathlessly. him saying that completely winded you. he gently placed his pointer finger under your chin, thumb bumping against your bottom lip as he leaned in. your eyes fluttered shut as you met him in the middle, lips brushing. it took everything in you not to just die then and there.

you bumped noses a few times throughout the kiss, giggles filling the room as you both pulled away- feeling the same breathless feeling once more. “so, this isn’t gonna ruin our friendship, right?” you asked, a smile playing on your lips. “of course not, if anything, now i just want you to be my best-friend AND my partner.”

“that would be lovely, rem.” you smiled even wider, pulling him in for another kiss.

maybe this whole awkward and messy confession wasn’t as bad as you thought.

[a-bang-for-your-bucky]

Welcome Home (Part One)

(NOT MY GIF)

Summary: After not speaking to her brothers for over a year, Peyton Rhodes’ life is turned upside down when her boyfriend of four years cheats on her. She uproots her life with WWE and returns home to Atlanta. She finds herself among great friends and she is finding herself again after being lost for so long.

WORD COUNT: 2,624 (well shit). 

Pairings: Cody Rhodes x OFC (Sister), Brandi Rhodes x OFC (sister), Dustin Rhodes x OFC (Sister), past Seth Rollins x OFC, future Kenny Omega x OFC (maybe?), MJFx OFC( maybe?) Could end up being Matt Jackson x OFC (who knows) let the writing gods surprise us.

WARNINGS: explicit language, mentioned cheating, possible future smut (Warnings are subject to change as I continue writing and will be updated as needed).

A/N: This has been a WIP for over a year now. This will be multiple parts. It will be a slow burn. (MAYBE) I’m a sucker for the friends to lovers trope. Please do not think that this reflects my feels toward a certain wrestler (Seth). This story is strictly fiction. I do not own any of the characters except for my OFC(s). Please, please, please, give me feedback. I’m slowly working myself back into the fanfic world. <3

“Cody was right.” I cried as soon as my brother’s wife answered the phone. I hadn’t spoken to my brothers since they left WWE. Cody was upset that I wouldn’t leave with him. Brandi was my way of communication with them. She’d call at least twice a week. This week was different. 

“I caught him. I went to congratulate him after his win over Finn and they were,” I sniffled, hurt coming over me again. “It was Mandy. I thought she was my friend.” I explained to my sister in law.

“Pey, I am so sorry. Please come home. You know AEW has a spot for you whenever you want it.” Brandi offered. It was the same thing she said to me every week, but now I’m ready. 

“I just don’t know why.” I cried. “I was the perfect girlfriend. I basically put my career on hold for him. I thought he was, I thought he was it for me.” Brandi had said that they were going to be home for Cody’s birthday in a few weeks and invited me to come to the party. 

“I’ll talk to Hunter.” I choked out. 

Luckily, my contract was almost up and as soon as Vince heard I didn’t want to re-sign, he settled for my release. We didn’t have the best relationship, but Hunter advocated for me stating that it was best for the company as well as myself. He knew the situation and didn’t blame me for wanting to go.

I knew I had to go back one day. I just never thought it would be this soon. I parked my car in the drive. I could hear Pharaoh announcing my arrival before I could make it to the door. I made my way up the sidewalk to the porch. I took a deep breath and knocked. 

Brandi opened the door immediately. “Well I'll be damned.” She said, “I can’t believe you came!” I smiled, embracing my brother’s wife. 

“Like I would miss my big brother’s 35th birthday.” I lied and she knew it. If Seth hadn’t cheated on me, I wouldn’t be here. 

Brandi led me inside where there were some guests who had gathered in the foyer. Brandi introduced me quickly, leading me through to Cody. “Hey, babe. Your surprise is here.” Cody, who was standing by the fireplace, talking to Dustin, turned and saw me. 

Awkwardly, I raised a hand to wave. “Hi.” I whispered. Cody sat down his drink and walked over to me. I expected him to cuss and yell, but instead, he threw his arms around me, hugging me tightly. 

“Peyton, I'm so happy you’re here.” He whispered. Dustin came up behind him. 

“Long time, no see sis. You know, they invented this thing called a phone. You should look into it. Call your big brothers sometime.” Dustin fussed before hugging me too. 

“It is really good to see you guys.” I tried to hold back the tears, but some escaped anyway. “How have you been? AEW has really taken off huh?” I said making small talk.

Cody nodded, “Yeah, I have the best business partners. I can’t wait for you to meet them.” Looking at my brother, he was truly happy. WWE had given him a few more stress lines, but seeing him now, you couldn’t tell. 

He grabbed my hand, pulling me to follow him. He led me to Matt and Nick Jackson, standing with Kenny Omega and Adam Page. “Guys! Guys! Look who decided to show her face.” Cody beamed, smiling big. The four guys waved. 

“Finally! We get to meet the prodigal sister.” Kenny Omega spoke first. 

“Peyton, these are the guys.” Cody pointed to each of them. “Matt. Nick. Kenny. Adam.” 

“Nice to meet y’all finally. I watch your show every week. You are all very talented.” They all mumbled a “thank you” in tandem. 

The rest of the evening went by smoothly. We all sat and talked. Getting to know The Elite was amazing. It was almost as if I hadn’t been AWOL for a year and a half.  When the party was over, I was helping Brandi clean up. 

“Pey, you don’t have to help. You’re a guest.” She said, grabbing the glasses from my hands. I shook my head.

“I’m family. And family helps.” I smiled, taking the glasses back and continued to the kitchen. Cody walked in behind me with plates. 

“Hey,” he started, “Thank you for coming.” He finished, placing the plates in the dishwasher. I added my glasses. 

“I’m sorry.” I blurted out, turning to face him. Cody looked at me, confused. “I should have left with you. You were right about that place. My career, my relationship, everything, became a shitshow after you left.” tears began to fall. 

“Pey, it’s okay. I’m just happy you’re here now.” Cody wiped the tears away. 

“Code. I lost my title. Seth cheated on me, and I barely got any TV time.” Cody scoffed. He never liked Seth.

“He cheated on you?” Cody growled, and paced around the room. 

I nodded, “I caught him. I went to congratulate him after his win one night and they were,” I sniffled, explaining to Cody. “I don’t know why.” I cried. “And then I lost my title, and then stopped getting TV time, unless I was on Seth’s arm.” I darted my eyes to the ground. “We still had to work together. After everything, I had to pretend like we were the perfect couple, until my last appearance.” Cody pulled me into a tight hug. 

“I pissed a lot of people off with the way I left. I’m so sorry that affected you.” he whispered into my hair, like it was his fault. 

“I don’t blame you, Code. I was granted my release.” I mumbled into his chest. He pulled back. 

“What?” His eyes were wide. 

“I asked for my release and Hunter pushed it through. I’ll be a free agent in 90 days” I explained. Cody smiled like a Cheshire cat.  

“Babe! Dustin! Get in here!” Cody yelled, startling me. The both of them came running, looking for an emergency, but they only saw Cody pouring champagne for a toast. Confused looks covered their faces. 

Cody gave everyone a flute and started a toast. “To our baby sister, the newest AEW superstar.” Brandi squealed and hugged me tight. The guys joined in. 

I was finally home. 

It was hard, walking away from my life in WWE; However, finding my place within the Elite was easy. Especially with Kenny Omega. He quickly became one of my closest friends. The next 3 months were the best of my life. The break from wrestling gave my body and my heart time to heal. Everyone did their best to hide that I was coming to AEW, even leaving fake trails that I was going back to NJPW.

After working out the details of my contract, I was officially signed with AEW. Cody wanted me to make a surprise entrance, interrupt one of his segments. Creative loved the idea of brother and sister reuniting, but they wanted to make it interesting. When my debut date came, I couldn’t have been any more nervous.

Sitting in catering, I was alone, lost in thought, picking at my food. It had been a long journey here, but they made it. AEW came to life and it was thriving. Double or nothing had passed, and that meant tonight was Dynamite.

“Guess who?” Someone had snuck up on me, covering my eyes. I smiled because I knew exactly who it was.

“Hmm, Prince Charming?” I guessed quickly. Kenny placed a sloppy kiss to my cheek.

“Close, but better.” He said uncovering my eyes. “Hey, princess. Just thought I’d come save you from your thoughts. What’s going on in that head of yours right now?” he asked, knowing I’ll tell him, taking the seat next to me. 

I sighed, rubbing my face. “I was thinking about my journey, how I got here.” Kenny nodded, but didn’t say anything. “I was thinking about how I get to see Jon again, since leaving WWE, and I was thinking about Seth.” I finally spit it out. Seth, his name leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

“I knew something was bothering you. Talk to me, doll.”

“I was scrolling through Insta earlier. He’s engaged. I know I shouldn’t care, but I do. Not because I still have feelings for him, but because she is, was, my friend, and I don’t want him to do to her what he did to me.” I explained to him.

“That’s understandable, Pey, but people gotta make their own mistakes. Mandy knows what he did to you and she still said yes, so that’s on her.” Kenny said, ever the voice of reason.

I nodded in agreement with him, knowing he was right. I needed to focus on my new path, my new future.

“Peyton!” Cody called from a distance, Brandi following him. It was time.

Cody stood, center ring, proudly. He had won the TNT title at Double or Nothing. He went on about how he was issuing an open challenge every Wednesday.

I stood nervously behind the curtain, waiting for my cue. I was about to make my debut. My life has been a little crazy since I left WWE behind, but definitely for the better. 

As an avid Fall Out Boy fan, I had struck a deal to have my favorite song as my entrance music. I had been using it for most of my career. The music hit, the crowd went crazy. “Holy Hell, that music can only mean one person. The sister of the American Nightmare. That’s Peyton Rhodes!” JR yelled into his mic as I strolled down the ramp, ignoring the crowd. “Peyton” chants filled the arena as I made my way to the squared circle. 

“Peyton Rhodes has joined  AEW and the crowd couldn’t be happier,” Excalibur added. I walked around the ring to the time keeper, grabbing a mic from Justin, and strolled on toward the ring. 

The music cut, and Cody was first to speak. "Oh yeah. I guess we didn't announce this but Peyton Rhodes is AEW!" The crowd screamed at Cody's news, chanting "AEW". 

I soaked in the cheers because I knew it was all about to change. I had been a face for most of my pro-wrestling career, and now I finally get to pursue the heel turn my fans had been begging for. I took in a deep breath and adjusted my leather jacket. 

“Oh, Atlanta, shut the hell up!” I groaned into the mic. I revelled in the audible gasp that could be heard. “That’s right. No more sweet ‘Georgia peach’ Peyton Rhodes. I came to AEW to raise hell, and that’s what I’m going to do.” I wandered around the ring, stopping in front of a camera. “I’m sick and tired of wanting your approval. I’m here to get what I want. And I want it all.” I punctuated as I looked dead into the camera.

“Hear that big brother,” I turned and faced Cody, “Hell just arrived in AEW I hope you’re ready.” I gestured to the crowd, “I hope you’re all ready, because if you thought Cody was a nightmare, wait til you see me, the Dream Killer.” I dropped the mic, and rolled out of the ring. The crowd loved it. “Dream Killer” chants echoed in my ears all the way backstage. 

I was greeted by Dustin, Brandi, and Kenny. “That was perfect, Pey, they loved it.” Kenny said as soon as I was in sight. I grinned, running up to him, jumping into his arms for a hug. 

“The crowd loved you. They’ve been hoping for this heel turn since your WWE debut.” Cody said, smiling from ear to ear as he returned to the back after finishing his promo.

“For real, Pey! You pull off the ‘heel’ thing. I can’t wait to work on your wardrobe!” Brandi squealed, embracing me in a dancing hug. “Just think about the shoes, Pey, the shoes.” Brandi was way more excited about the outfits than the actual turn. She had helped me pick the one I was wearing. Black jean shorts, a front-zip black and white crop top, leather jacket, and black boots. 

“I can’t wait to see where this takes me.” I said before we were joined by the rest of The Elite.  

Nick was the first to speak. “Not bad, Rhodes. You might be a better heel than your brother here.” He elbowed Cody in the ribs.

Matt nodded in agreement, “For real Peyton, the crowd was so hyped for that turn.” He said with a soft smile, bringing me in for a quick hug. 

I turned to face everyone. “Thanks guys. All of you. You gave me this chance.” I thanked them, “I promise I won’t let you down.” 

“You’re a great addition to the AEW family.” Adam complimented, “Come on Ken, we got a match to get ready for.” he said before walking away. Kenny gave me one last hug before following him.

Cody and Brandi also parted as she had a segment coming up, leaving me with the Young Bucks. “Come on, Pey, lets celebrate!” We had walked back to catering where some more of the AEW stars were waiting. In the back, I spotted the one person I couldn’t wait to see again. I told The Bucks I’d catch up with them. 

“Jon!” I screamed, almost running to him. When he saw me rushing toward him, he opened his arms, inviting me in for a hug. Hugging him was a blast from the past. 

“Peyton fucking Rhodes. I heard rumors you were coming. Sweetheart, you knocked them dead.” He spoke into my hair. I gave him one more tight squeeze before pulling away. “Well, you look great.” He said, gesturing to my outfit. 

“I’m heel now. Finally.” I boasted. I’ve been waiting for this for the longest time and no one was taking it away from me. Jon and I talked, catching up. I asked about Renee and he lit up. He was happy and that’s all I wanted for him. He was finally able to be the fighting champion everyone knew he could be. 

“What about Seth? What happened? The last time I spoke to him, he said you guys were happy and he had bought a ring.” Jon asked, and it knocked the breath out of me. I knew he would ask, but I wasn’t expecting him to mention a ring. 

“He cheated on me. With Mandy. They’re engaged now.” I said without choking up, which was a good sign. I could see the disappointment well up in Jon’s eyes. 

“You were always too good for him.” I knew he and Seth were still good friends, but I appreciated the words nonetheless. Jon gave me one last hug before he got called away for his match, leaving me alone in catering again. 

I found a table close to a TV so I could watch the end of Kenny and Adam’s match. They were well on their way to becoming tag team champions. I started thinking about what Jon had said about Seth, about him buying a ring. I couldn’t believe it. He was going to ask me to marry him and I would have said yes, had I not found him with Mandy. I was pulled from my thoughts by my phone vibrating. It was Seth. 

I saw your debut. 

You look good. 

You’re gonna be a great heel.

I miss you. 

I wish you would talk to me and let me explain. 

I read and reread the messages a hundred times before replying. 

Okay, Seth. When and where?

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

BFCD Reviews by Nesha: Final Space, Season 3

Everybody that know me know that I’m high class #Quillective trash and my main thoughts and feelings go out to Quinn Ergon and Gary Goodspeed - precious Gemini gems, and of course the BABIES: Little Cato, Ash and Fox #NeshaLuhDaKids I had some attachment to Avocato once upon a time, but that n***a got on my LAST nerves this season, so we currently at “Do you, Boo” status by the end of S3, and eventually, yes, I’ma get to why that is. 

Disclaimer for somebody who stumbled across this post because of the fandom tags - I am an independent partaker of this content, not “part of the fandom,” and my audience in particular is NOT for everybody. SO: If you may have been criticized in the past for casual racism, tone deafness to Black women’s concerns or accused of misogynoir or antiblackness, leave now. 

If you don’t like cussing, AAVE, general ratchetness and mean lesbian energy, you too might wanna go. A bitch can be eloquent, but I type like I talk, at times, so it is what it is and I don’t curate for kids, dudes, or nonblacks. That’s just what that is.

I wanna start with Ash Graven. This season is about Ash more than anybody else, despite the fact that there was a lot of emphasis on Avocato’s toxic ass man pain and growth in Quinn and Gary’s relationship, ULTIMATELY, nobody in the crew did more coming into fruition as Ash did, and I have a lot to say about her, because I have a lot of feelings.

♡ Ash Graven

1. Ash is a kid. Lol. Everybody got very confused because of the unnecessary transformation that Invictus gave her. Ash did not “grow up,” her body was altered. That’s a fuckin kid in a woman’s body. A kid who has previously been living with survivor’s guilt, parental abuse/neglect/exploitation, chronic trauma, and a disastrous superpower that most people could not be trusted to carry. She’s a child having a coming of age moment in this season that is mostly molded in manipulation. If you hate on Ash, go fuck yourself. ESPECIALLY if I’ve caught you stanning other characters who have been shit characters, in this fandom or not. Ash was dealt a shit hand and nobody had her back but her brothers, and she’s done what she could and thought was best to care for them. Anybody that missed that - just don’t have kids, K.

2. Ash has no parental guidance. As far as she knows, the only adults who have ever had her back are dead and the ones that she’s stuck with now, she GAVE a chance to try to trust them. She gave Quinn a chance to try to see some of Nightfall (the only adult that we’ve seen not exploit her) in her. She gave Gary a chance by choosing him over Clarence, when she had to make a choice. She even gave Clarence’s ass another chance - with which he responded by dying to not fail her. Now, she has Gary, who just a few days or weeks ago, idek, forced her to try to summon her powers while she was both injured and also upset over having to leave her brother behind - TO SAVE HIS GIRLFRIEND! And she got snatched away in the process and left behind with the enemy, to be mentally assaulted and returned changed, only to have them not trust her.

I love Quinn too. I love her dearly. But the facts were that she was dying and having an episode that nobody could really help with, and Gary didn’t take the time or consideration to think about the stress that he was putting on Ash by putting her in the position to make her feel like she needed to save Quinn for him. Whether or not she was the only one who could, that is a lot to put on a child, and not only did he do it, but he didn’t even seem to think that hard about it whenever he then left her ass. Sure, he was glad when she was returned, but that was a fucked up situation that yet another adult put her into, and the first thing that he should have wanted to do when seeing her was to apologize and try to make it right. It was a huge miscalculation to treat her as a potential enemy that he and Avocato needed to vet. EVEN IF that’s what she was to them, both of them should have had the sense to assess while still treating her as the kid that they supposedly knew.

3. Most of her trauma has been recent and continuous. She looked up to Nightfall, watched her die, and had a meltdown. The events from Season 2 (with Clarence almost killing Fox and leaving him to die, her leaving his side to help out, seeing that Sheryl was treacherous to her own son, losing Nightfall), and the events that are taking place in Season 3 are only in the span of a few months.

They were only stranded for a month whenever we see them surviving together. That girl has had more happen to her to hurt her than to help her and nobody around her BUT Little Cato has been sensitive to that. And they are all fucking adults.

These things being noted - changing Ash’s design was the absolute worse fucking thing. Aging a girl up to make the bad things that follow more palatable is what that seems to be. Ash is still a kid. And THEN, they allegedly made her a queer kid. I say allegedly, because that “reveal” was so poorly done and subtle and weak that I, an almost 40 year old queer, didn’t realize that that’s what they meant whenever they said that they were gonna reveal somebody as a character who is part of the LGBT community.

So... FS production just gon’ decide not only to transform her body into that of a woman, when her mind is still full on traumatized child and hormonal teenager, but also, she likes girls, and they didn’t even do it in a cohesive way that added to the story. They threw it in, like, “BTW, she likes girls, and also, she’s full grown now.” then immediately went for the “Villain” lever, and bitches just ate that shit up. Fuck y’all, forreal. 

& Fox

He didn’t deserve that shit. And, I know a lot of people felt that he was pointless and boring, but his ass was sweet and caring and searching for love and acceptance. As a background character, I liked him. But, he was literally just fodder for Ash’s downfall, which was unfair and problematic, considering that his ass is definitely Black coded. Don’t play. He was voiced by a Black man, spoke with a blaccent, and definitely would be read as Black if you wasn’t looking at him and seeing an alien. They gave him a sacrificial negro trope, the big friendly negro that can kill you but loves everybody trope, and they used his death to just push some narrative forward to set up the one verified queer character as a villain. They got they ass in a vehicle and rolled right over another Black character, and another queer character. Chile...

 ♡ Little Cato!!!

My precious have not been getting some good for too long, and I have had it. He’s not focused on so much this season as he is in the background of other people’s stories, but a very important takeaway is and will always be that Little Cato, aside from Fox, really was the only one here who consistently treated her like she mattered, so it made a lot of sense that he could be the catalyst for her finally having ENOUGH with these people.

I really wish that he could have found out the truth about his past from Avocato, because that’s really who OWED him that truth, but Ash did the thing that I’d expect and told him, to be honest with him. She even told him that Avocato wanted to tell him and that she took that right away from him, because she didn’t believe he deserved it, and I’m respecting her for that, too. I wish she could see how much it hurt Little Cato for her to try to take him away from his home. 

Little Cato has lived before, for a while, and he’s not mature enough to behave as a man, but he at least has a loving foundation to draw from, and having had that support, this is more of his home than it is Ash’s. He doesn’t know how to explain that to her, and she doesn’t know how to understand that for him. Just a tragic situation for two kids with a lot of problems.

♡ Quinn Ergon & Gary Goodspeed

Quinnary notes that might not be featured in the BFCD Reviews by Nesha:  (Quinn Ergon/Nightfall x Gary Goodspeed) rundown - 

I've had two favorite parts of this season so far and they're very mediocre things that you wouldn't think would be like my favorite part but they are. One of them was that the first thing Gary does when she wakes up is to ask her about her sister (someone obviously very important to her who he's previously promised to allow to let live through Quinn's memory and says he wants to hear about her when he's trying to keep Quinn from dying). Because... He really did care and wasn't just saying something to keep her.

Quinn's mother fucked her up in a way that is so frustrating because Black mamas really will traumatize you about their younger kids. That shit hurt. You showed your daughter dead bodies to make her think about that in the event that your other daughter might be in battle? Bitch wtf

Whenever we say that Black girls are programmed to put everybody ahead of us, that's unfortunately not just including Society, it's in households too. And Quinn comes from this place where that is her reality... Then she meets Gary and he doesn't even register for her as anything special. He doesn't appear impressive or incredible in any way... But he (admittedly) weirdly locks on to her and shares himself - thinking that he's showing himself to her, and ultimately he DOES. And he wants to see her too, beyond all this, who she is, at her most humane. He wants to know about her sister. About someone who mattered to her enough to have the helm of her trauma when she was out of touch with reality. Very soft. Very sweet.

The other was when they were talking about how they met and stuff and Gary absolutely cringed thinking about how corny he was when he approached this woman. A lot of dudes never do that. The complaint of earlier seasons that Gary was overbearing, obsessive and creepy , if you missed the fact that he has terrible abandonment issues from his father’s death and his mother’s rejection, here we have him, in his adult state, looking back at the way he was and being embarrassed about it, and that’s growth!

A close third is whenever at the beginning of the Season he says "Quinn it's been a month eventually you have to open up to me about what you've been through" and she says "I will in time" and he respects it but he reiterates that he's there whenever she needs him. I don't think that people realize how revolutionary that kind of statement is especially for a character like Quinn to hear - who has always felt like she had to take charge, had to take the lead, had to make the sacrifice.

Even when she realized that she was dying, she didn't want to burden him with the information. Not even like ‘a thing that she knew if that could help prevent it and she didn't want him to have to go after it,’ but... she didn't even want him to have to deal with knowing about it!

Maybe she thought that she would just drop, maybe she didn't realize that he was going to have to see her in that condition. And then once she realized that he was going to have to see her in that condition one of the first things she says is "I should have told you." Girl is on her deathbed wishing she had done it differently, for Gary's benefit.

I saw somebody on Twitter tried to come for her about not going to Gary after he killed Fox (you know, shortly after her surgery to save her from the very brink of death, and listen... Quinn comes to see about Gary when she can. She’s done it several times. In fact, I’ma make a whole POST about Quinn and Gary moments SPECIFICALLY to point out to haters in the main tag - where they got Quinn Ergon, and by extension, me, FUCKED UP.

Stop Playing in Quinn Face

HI! HELLO. ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS SEASON IS THAT QUINN AND GARY JUST FUCKED. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANKS. OK. Back 2 bidness

See.. after Gary and Quinn got over the humps of Quinn’s Final Space poisoning... everyone got it... nobody told her until Avocato was mad and told her during a lash out, and let me say something about Avocato’s fucking audacity this season... 

♡ Avocato (Note: His name is A-V-O-C-A-T-O. Some of y’all be tryna stan and y’all can’t even spell his name.)

I done seent Avacata, Avocata... That’s not that dude name. Be writing whole ass expositions about some other Ventrexian n*gga. Hope this helps:

AVOCATO. Listen, boy. YOU decided to be a traitor to your people and your king and queen. YOU decided to dedicate your cause to the Lord Commander and lied to your son his entire life about killing his parents, raising him, and never talking to him about it.

Yet and STILL - whenever you had the chance to finally tell him, you ain’t do the shit. Lord Commander gave you the perfect ass opportunity - WHEN IT CAME UP, and even then, with that boy looking you dead in the face and being glad that now he knows everything... you ain’t Ventrexian man up.

Then, whenever you were supposed to be checking on Gary after his traumatic murder fight with Fox and Invictus, you turned it around and literally made it about you. attacking him in the process and only after a physical fight did you apologize. (And y’all still didn’t get back to what had happened to Gary, which was no real fault of his own). 

Fast forward to after you willingly agreed to stay behind and fight and y’all lost. Now, it was Quinn’s turn to be the center of your blame and you lashed out at her because everybody is dying, despite the fact that y’all agreed to stay behind and fight, nobody even told her that y’all were sick, AND you still wasn’t 100 with Little Cato. 

You just had a lot of mothafuckin audacity this season, Avocato, and I personally was not here for the shit. Even when Ash blasted yo ass, your main thought was to threaten to kill her if she took Little Cato, instead of assuring her that despite what you’ve done, Little Cato was safe with you. No, she wouldn’t have listened to you. But, the words you chose tell us about who you are and how you are. You a war mongering killer that don’t ever take responsibility for his shit, and even in those brief moments that you do, its always somebody else’s problem. 

I’da thunk that LC getting snatched away would be humbling for you, but I guess you were chosen by the writers for minimal growth. Bye, Avocato. Witcha bitch ass. We is not cool right now, but you do you. Hope you find some growth up there in ya ass, where ya head been. 😁 Can’t believe I mourned yo ass. You coulda stayed dead as hell.

FINALE NOTES:

OK BITCH OK THIS FINALE WAS HYPE!

Let me pull it up so that I can liveblog it for the shit that I need to conclude this journey. 

We start out after Ash done took Little Cato and burnt off. Gary and AVOCATO done said they finna go get they son. Chile, I cannot handle Biskit voice. I like that lil’ dude but ya voice, Mane. I can’t with it. 

OK OK OK... Whenever Quinn comes up to Gary to talk to him and say potential goodbyes, she look like she wanna say some and that makes me think about whenever she looked like she wanted to say something in season 1 and didn’t. Quinn as grown a lot in her feelings for Gary, but she still has that hard time with talking about her feelings, but I love that you can see them in her face.

Chile... these folk was kinda taking they time gettin started, huh? Knuckas, do y’all remember that everybody finna die of FS poisoning? Lol. Also... why didn’t they start hallucinating and shit? I guess its not until it covers ya face? 

NIGHTFALL. 😥 I love you, Sis. I miss you. But, “Because I’m you and WE think of everything...” YES. I HAVE BEEN SAYING THAT! EVERYBODY EXPECTS QUINN TO THINK OF EVERYTHING AND WHENEVER THEY DON’T THINK OF THE THINGS, SHE GETS BLAMED FOR MAKING THE TOUGH DECISIONS THAT NOBODY ELSE COULD EVEN MAKE. Underappreciated, really. And people still mark Nightfall as a villain, despite the fact that she not only sacrificed herself, but also came specifically to help another Gary. Sidenote - Nightfall didn’t actually pursuit Quinn’s Gary until Quinn was trapped in Final Space and she thought she got a signal from him. So, I’m still salty AF that she been labelled as a villain just because people don’t like her, when her actions have all been to try to help. Here is no difference. She thought of the things that she didn’t think a younger version of her would think of, and left it for Quinn to find. Nightfall be on RNS, and most of y’all didn’t deserve her.

Quinn’s identity crisis is so sad, but I liked that Nightfall EVEN thought about that. And Sheryl... you kinda starting to grow on me. I hate to give shitty mothers who find compassion in old chance a try, but she do seem to really be giving it a go. 

Ash is so fucked up that she rushes right into the devil’s arms. This reminds me of when trafficking victims go back to their abusers because they don’t have the resources to adjust in the system. 😪 She REALLY believes what she’s saying. She really feels like Little Cato is safer with Invictus with the Team Squad. That’s sad as fuck, bruh. 

THE. ACTING. AND. ARTWORK. IN. THIS. CONFRONTATION. SCENE.

Avocato... I’m proud of you for FINALLY taking responsibility ad opening up about it. Little Cato’s reaction is precisely how kids in the system are, as well. They wanna be at home with their parents, no matter who their parents are or what they’ve done. and Avocato meant what he said and did what I referred to earlier as “Ventraxian man up.”

“I’m sorry we failed you,” from Gary was so important. Because, they technically did fail her. Had Ash seen the same amount of love from Gary as she’s seen him give to others, she might have been more receptive to the truth and less susceptible to lies. But, as she had just said earlier, it was too late for kind words. She’s currently beyond accepting them from him. For a brief moment, it breaks through, but without that ability to know love from an adult properly, she can’t accept that apology right now.

H.U.E. with his big robot, Lord Commander...EYE. There’s so much happening right now bitch processing has left the room girl. Biskit did so damn much this episode. And it was good to see everybody on the team have a moment to help things, instead of like one person having to handle the bulk of things. 

Quinn’s begging voice... its such a contrast from whenever she sent out the SOS in season 1 and was afraid and angry. Like... the desperation here shows her softness. 

Ash’s RAGE Bitch...

Gary’s “I love you...” She looked so happy! And then she just sat with it. I feel like she definitely loves him too, but she doesn’t communicate that way. But, her FACE. She was just... did she think that he didn’t before, or was she just speechless because she didn’t expect to hear it? Because, we gotta be real... Sis probably has not ever heard those words from anybody before. And that first time, when it’s really there is a DOOZIE. She had an abusive mother, a seemingly jealous or competitive sister, and we saw how nobody in the Infinity Guard respected her ass when she was serving them the real. I think this is the first time she’s been in love or felt it and when Gary said it, she had to collect herself. The way she ran to him and jumped into his arms??? SHIPPING CRACK. And Mooncake was a part of their hug too. I have a lot of feelings about this dynamic since Quinn and Mooncake are the only characters that we’ve seen Gary have these “love at first sight” reactions to and Mooncake is the first character that I recall Quinn being nice to in S1. 

So.. my heart was very full when they ripped it from my chest moments later. Mooncake has been watching Team Squad members be self sacrificing for a little while now, and he loves his family and Gary so much that he rushes straight towards danger. (Sure, I don’t think that he estimated how powerful Ash could be at this moment), but he had to at least consider that he might be caught or left behind.

Bitch, Ash is GONE. She said, “Fuck all y’all!” Not knowing whether or not Mooncake is destroyed makes it very hard for me to know how much I can stand this, but I also want to hope that he is gonna survive. Quinn having to make the decision to lightfold is hella sad, but even though Gary is destroyed, he has to know that this is exactly how Ash must’ve felt whenever he had to make the call to leave Fox behind. She hated to do that to Gary. She even seemed more regretful about it than Gary did whenever he had to leave Fox and when he left Ash. Sure, its because she loves him more than he loved Fox and Ash, but its a terrible position to be in to have to hurt somebody you love like that. On the other hand, they gave her hella shit for them not escaping when could have the first time, so naturally, she was going to make this decision. 

It very much sucks that Invictus is free and my brain can’t eeem FATHOM what that means for everything and everybody, but the Final Space poisoning left the Team Squad’s system, so maybe there is a rejuvenation of some sort in Invictus’ power? Or does Final Space poisoning leave your system as soon as you leave Final Space? I don’t think that was clarified. 

Anyways, I still don’t hate Ash. Y’all can say whatever about it, but I see sad white boys get forgiven all day every day on this site, and I’m upset, but I’m not letting my baby go. I’m not cheering her on, but unless she dies, I’m gonna hope for the best for her, like I said here. 

DAMN this season was some shit. Ionknow if I’m emotionally capable of watching another season of Final Space in progress. If they make it back for another season, I will most likely just wait until the end to dive in and let them shock my senses all at once instead of on a weekly goddamn basis, because GODDAMN GODDAMN GODDDAMN!

@andromidagalaxie @daintyurbanprincess @shslargue @space-finally​  The Quinnary Moments Masterlist probably won’t be ready by Quinn’s birthday, since her birthday is the day before Juneteenth, but I’ve started on a little fic that I might have the first installment of posted by then. We shall see. 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Here is my JOURNEY during my first watch of the first two seasons of the show. (I watched Season 3 in progress and waited until it was over to write up this review) and my probably incoherent tag of whenever I do me a lil’ liveblogging: Nesha Watches Final Space, and here is my review on Quinnary: BFCD Reviews by Nesha: (Quinn Ergon/Nightfall x Gary Goodspeed) FINAL SPACE

[salty-ironstrange-shipper]

captain america: the first avenger - what’s your fanfic reading pet peeve?

iron man 3 - underrated fanfic trope?

ant-man - send a few headcanons of your favorite characters!

captain america: civil war: what’s your favorite relationship to write? to read?

guardians of the galaxy vol.2 - create a playlist for one of your fics!

spider-man: far from home - share something about yourself!

Wandavision - try to draw dan art for one of your fics. (It doesn’t have to be good!)

captain america: the first avenger - what’s your fanfic reading pet peeve?  

What ISN’T my fanfiction pet peeve? Y’all don’t know this about me, but I am VERY picky. My worst one is probably when sentences are too long. Not just long sentences in general (if you’ve ever read my writing, you know that I use long sentences all the time) but when they include too much information that should have been broken up. Like, the sentence tires you out reading it because it goes past its natural endpoint. Literally one of the only things that will make me automatically back out of a fic.

iron man 3 - underrated fanfic trope?

IMO, arranged marriage au (esp. with fantasy/historical au). I find a ship I love, search for arranged marriage, and get like. 5 options. 2 are good. One of the two is 3000 words. I live in hell.

ant-man - send a few headcanons of your favorite characters!

I’ve talked a lot about my headcanons before, but here are just a few for some of my faves:

Stephen: Loves horses and was taught to ride by his sister, Donna. Tony surprised him with a couple of his own after they got married (Stephen never actually told him he liked horses; Tony just knows his husband that well)

Tony: the only language he speaks that Stephen doesn’t is Italian. So when he’s annoyed with Stephen, it’s all he speaks in. Stephen could learn, when he’s in a mood, he doesn’t really want to listen to Tony.

Sam & Bucky: Bucky brought Sam flowers for their first date. Sam’s family teased him for days afterwards, but he found it so surprisingly sweet that he ended up getting Bucky flowers the next time they went out. Now they always get each other flowers and try to top each other by leaving them in increasingly improbably places around the house.

captain america: civil war: what’s your favorite relationship to write? to read?

This is a weird one because for me it fluctuates. Right now, I’m not actually reading a lot of fic, but I’ve been on a cherik high. But my tastes tend to come in waves. My favorite ship to write ever is ironstrange - even though I’m on a break for writing them right now, I’ve written more than 30 ironstrange fics, way more than for any other ship. Legally I don’t think I could give any other answer.

guardians of the galaxy vol.2 - create a playlist for one of your fics!

I do this all the time, so here are some of my favorite ironstrange songs for From the Top:

“broken”, lovelytheband

“Sex (With My Ex), FLETCHER

“I’ll Be Good”, Jaymes Young

“In Our Bedroom After The War”, Stars

“Lamb’s Wool”, Foster The People

“Someone To You”, BANNERS

“Wish That You Were Here”, Florence + The Machine

“I Like (the idea of) You”, Tessa Violet

“Saturn”, Sleeping At Last

“This Love”, Taylor Swift

“Strawberry Blond”, Mitski

“Immortal”, MARINA

“Your Song”, Elton John

“Mary”, Big Thief

“Sick of Losing Soulmates”, dodie

“Sweetest Devotion”, Adele

spider-man: far from home - share something about yourself!

When I was in High School, the only class I got a grade below an A for was Intro. to Art. I am not an arter at all, and it can actually be very frustrating for me because I have no patience for practice and get upset about not being good at things. Why am I telling you this? Well-

Wandavision - try to draw dan art for one of your fics. (It doesn’t have to be good!)

Thanks for this one, Margaux.

Ok, I started to do something online, but I hated that. So instead I sketched this monstrosity in my journal:

This is supposed to be Jean at the end of Part Three in my fic, A Treatise on Evolution and Extinction. I only had, like, three pen colors, so the purple is supposed to represent glowy-ness. She’s wearing Erik’s jacket from X-Men: First Class and a nightgown (not that you can tell). Symbolically, I liked the contrast of the soft, innocent-seeming white fabric/gown (because Jean herself is kind of innocent, she’s just also Losing It) with the tough fabric associated with Erik and his Nazi-hunting days. I also think that it’s a nice mental image. Like, I would buy that as a poster. Or actually good fanart. (actually, if anyone wants to fanart that, hit me up and we’ll see if we can work something out)

OK, this is something a little different - this is a map I made of Genosha to serve as a reference for my fic, I still check it sometimes when I’m writing something that requires me to know where something is.

This is the only thing that’s kind of good (I can draw shapes ... mostly). It’s a Genoshan flag. I like simple, neat-looking flags. From my notes, here’s the color symbolism: “A flag with black (determination, ethnic heritage, the defeat of enemies, death, mourning/Erik), white (peace and harmony/Charles), purple (rarely ever used before the 1850s due to its expense; purple symbolizes nobility, power, wealth, dignity, devotion, pride, mystery, independence, and magic/Mutants)”. I didn’t have to put this or the map, but I put effort into these things, goddamnit.

[multi-obsessed-fanfic-writer]

Monster (Draco Malfoy x Reader)

Author’s Note: Hey guys! The overwhelming amount of love that my last post is getting is insane, so I decided to post this short little Draco drabble to say thank you. I’m not sure how it turned out, so let me know if you like it at all haha. I wanted to kinda take a twist with the classic dark mark trope. This is also kinda open-ended for a part 2 if y’all want :) But anyway, thank you for all of my new followers and I’m so happy that each and every one of you are here! My requests are open, my DMs are open, and my asks are open if you just wanna know anything about me! I love having mutuals on here, too, so let me know if you want to be mutuals. Thank you!! <3

Summary: Taking the dark mark is never a good decision, so how will it affect you and Draco’s relationship?

Monster

Draco Malfoy x Reader

Word Count: 1,662 (quite a bit shorter than the last one lol)

Warnings: angst. a lot of angst. sorry

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. The two of you were supposed to be normal for just a little bit longer. You had to go and ruin things.

“Draco...I need to tell you something,” You whisper, running your hands through his hand. He hums, turning his head to gaze into your eyes. You smile sadly down at him.

“What’s wrong, darling?” He muses, reaching a hand up to brush your cheek. You sigh into his hand subconsciously, knowing this moment can’t last much longer.

“You’re going to be upset with me,” You murmur, opening your eyes again to stare into his piercing silver ones. They stare back questioningly.

“You know I can never stay mad at you for very long,” He reassures you, sitting up to be face-to-face with you. He senses the seriousness in your tone.

“My...my family gave me a decision a couple weeks ago,” You start, taking a deep breath to keep your voice even, “it happened earlier today.”

“What happened, love?” Draco looks concerned now, sitting up even more to search your face for any possible answers.

“I took the mark.” You whisper, looking down to avoid seeing his reaction. He stills in front of you.

“You took it?” You hear the forcing of his words, almost like he’s choking them out. You look up at him and see the absolute hurt in his eyes. The brokenness.

“They didn’t give me much of a choice, it was either that or--”

“You took the dark mark?” He asks, reaching for your wrist. You shy away from his grasp, bringing your tender wrist to your chest. He looks even more betrayed by your gesture.

“Draco, they...they threatened my family... I-- I didn’t have a choice.” You stutter out.

“There’s always a choice, (Y/n),” Draco stares at your wrist, not you.

“There wasn’t. Voldemort said he’d kill them all if I didn’t step up. I had to, you don’t understand...my parents, my sister. I couldn’t do that to them.” Your lower lip starts to tremble at the memory.

“You could’ve asked for more time or- or asked your sister to step up instead. Why you? Why now? What about our promise to each other?” He asks, clenching his jaw as he asks questions that you don’t know the answer to.

“I don’t know why me...I don’t know why now. But our promise--”

“Is broken.” Draco finishes for you, his eyes finding yours again. You feel like you’re staring into fractals of his soul, shattered into pieces by you and your impulsive decisions.

“No, no we can still be normal, Draco. We can still be together. I-I mean it’s only a matter of time until you have to take it, too. We’ll be in this together at that point. There’s a choice we’ve made in this war--”

“No, there’s a choice that you made in this war. And you made that choice earlier today. After we had promised...that we’d make the opposite choice. We were going to run away together, (Y/n/n)...what happened to that? What happened to us?” He murmurs, and you see his eyes gloss over. Tears prick at your own eyes.

“We’re not gone, baby, we’re still here. Once this war is over, then we can run away together as we planned. I promise.”

“Your promises are starting to sound like a broken record.”

The breath gets knocked out of your lungs at these few words and tears start to spill down your cheeks. He doesn’t believe you.

You’ve lost his trust entirely.

“Don’t say that, Draco. Don’t say that.” You plead, grasping for his hands. He lets you take them, clutching them close to you.

“I’m not sure I can do this, (Y/n)...I never wanted to choose this side. You know that more than anyone,” He mutters, tracing your hands. You sob, unable to wipe away the tears streaming down your cheeks. You know you look like a mess right now, but that couldn’t be further from your mind as you beg for Draco to stay with you.

“Please...for me? We always promised that we’d be there for each other through thick and thin...through everything, right?” You cry, starting to shake furiously throughout your entire body. Draco’s oddly still for a moment.

Then, he rips back your sleeve to reveal the mark in all of its hideous glory. You try to wrench your wrist out of his grasp, but he’s much stronger.

“That was before you became one of them. Before you took this dreaded mark….this dreaded oath. To serve the dark lord.” Draco spits with venom in his voice. You stop struggling against his grip, staring at the mark with him.

Something in you shifts at his cold words, causing you to still and the tears to slow.

“You think I’m a monster,” You let out lowly, face stoic and turned cold as you look up from the mark to your boyfriend.

“I never said that…” He trails off, meeting your eyes. He looks… scared. Of you. 

“I can see it in your eyes, Malfoy. You’re afraid of me. Of my power. You’re afraid of what I’ve become because you thought that the sobbing girl in front of you was capable of something terrible. Tell me, Draco, do you think I’m capable of terrifying things?” You ask him harshly, clenching your jaw to prepare for the answer.

“This (Y/n) is not the same one that I fell in love with,” He lets out, face turning from cold to confused again. He knows he’s struck a chord, and now he’s trying to figure his way out.

“Maybe you just didn’t know who you were falling in love with if you think me capable of such horrid things….” You muse in a low tone, rising to your feet slowly. Draco remains seated as you tower over him for once.

“(Y/n)...what’s happening?” He asks, and you see him switch to defensive mode. He starts to reach for his wand in his inner pocket. You’re quicker than him, though, and you quickly whip out your wand.

“Expelliarmus.” You murmur, watching the wand fly across the room. Draco stands but makes no move to retrieve the wand.

“(Y/n). This isn’t you. What are you doing? What changed?” He asks, reaching out to cup your face. You brush his hand aside, your face remaining stone cold.

“You made your choice. You don’t get to reverse that and try to trick me back into your arms. What changed, you ask? I saw my boyfriend...my ex-boyfriend...look into my eyes with fear. I saw him think of me as a monster, as a murderer. I’ve done nothing wrong, yet, Draco! Don’t you see that! I’m trying to remain blameless! I tried to stay with you.” Your stoic facade starts to crack at the edges, showing some of the anger and sadness you’re feeling deep inside.

“You don’t know what you’re saying. This is the mark speaking or something. Please, (Y/n/n), fight the darkness. I...I’m going to try my best and do the same. We’ll make it through this together,” He promises, reaching out another hand. You take a step back.

“You’re just using your smooth words to trick me. You’re still afraid. This is a defense tactic….I’m scaring you. You still think I’m going to hurt you.” A tear slips down your cheek and you look away.

“No, (Y/n/n), you would never hurt me. I know that,” He whispers, taking a cautious step toward you. You look up at him, rage now evident on your face.

“Says the man taking his steps toward me with caution. Says the man who’s still using the same defense tactic I’ve already called you out for! You’re...you’re scared of me. Admit it. I...I’m a monster to you. You’ve already made up your mind,” Your words get softer as your sentence goes on, the rage leaving you as devastation and exhaustion sweeps in behind it. You slump against a table, setting your wand down.

You would never hurt Draco, would you?

Would you?

“You’re upset. You’re in a frenzy. You just need to calm down, (Y/n). Please, we’ll talk about this once you’re no longer upset, okay?” He murmurs, and you’re too tired all of the sudden to stop him from picking you up and setting you down softly on his bed.

“...’m sorry,” You cry softly into his sheets.

“Shh, I know. I know.” He strokes your hair as you drift into a fitful sleep.

~+~

You wake up to rays shining through Draco’s large window. You rub your eyes and look around the room, not seeing Draco. He must be downstairs.

You swing your feet over the edge of the bed, hissing as you feel a stinging pain in your wrist. You lift your sleeve to see the taunting mark on your skin. You itch at it for a moment, only to realize that it won’t ever help. You sigh and stand up, spotting a small piece of paper on the bedside table. You pick it up and start to read the writing on it.

(Y/n),

I’m sorry. And I know you are, too. But I had to go. Maybe we can make up in the future after the war sometime, but right now we’re on opposite sides. And you’re right. I was scared of you. So I left. I won’t be back, not for a long time, at least. Not unless it’s against my will. I hope things get better in the future because I do love you. This is the hardest thing I’ve had to do in a long time. If you can find it in yourself to love me, too, after everything...wait for me. I’ll do the same.

Love,

Draco

You feel your heart rip to pieces in your chest, the events of last night dawning on you. You had almost hurt him. And now, because of your stupidity in the entirety of yesterday, he left you.

And you have no one left to turn to.