#Cal makes me feel like exploding

[aerticent]

Cal makes me feel actually insane like i can’t put into words how he makes me feel i love him so bad he’s jsut so djdjfjsjdjdjdj

[apt502-if]

New Girl inspired ask! A bit NSFW-ish. How would the ROs react if MC was drugged up from pain meds and confessed to the RO that they wanted to sleep with them like with Jess and Nick?

Anyone who is watching New Girl look away because this ask is spoilery LOL Here's the scene if anyone wants context.

Rainn: Would probably frantically ask "are you sure? are you sure? are you sure?" like a parrot. Wouldn't believe it. MC displaying any kind of "warm" feelings to Rainn would make them think they're imagining things. Then they'd remind themself that it's just the drugs and MC likely doesn't mean it. They probably would never bring it up again.

L: laugh, find it funny, but ignore it. The last thing L is going to do is act based on what someone is doing when they're technically not even sober. "Yeah, yeah. Real cute. Let's get you to bed," and move on. They will likely bring it up as a joke, but also to see what a sober MC would say. L is sly in that way. They'll be looking how sober MC reacts to L confronting them on that "confession" and moving accordingly.

A: Thinking to themself: A, just ignore this. They're drugged. Doesn't mean anything. A wouldn't bring it up. They'll be convinced it's just MC rambling. They'll think about it a lot though. MC will probably be ??? because A would be acting a bit weirder around them. More curt and probably stare at them more. Majority of it being that A is looking at them in a new light bahahaha

Cal: Blush really bad and probably tuck MC in bed while staying at least ten feet away. MC will also be super confused around Cal because Cal will be a blushing mess every moment afterward. Cal would definitely not bring it up.

G: Would record it and show MC later to [affectionately] tease them. Then they'd be like, "Were you serious?" G is super straight-forward and not embarrassed by anything. MC would definitely be put on the spot but G would let it go if MC doesn't want to answer. They'll probably bring it up as a joke though here and there. They wouldn't let it go. G is definitely for people who prefer someone who doesn't beat around the bus :p

M: "You and many others. Go to bed." M would tuck MC to bed and then use it as a way to tease them like G. But while G would be straight up and ask MC if they're serious, M would use it to tease MC like a kid would in the playground. "You like me~" or "You find me attractive~" until MC explodes :ppp

[shastafirecracker]

I've been feeling some kinds of ways since I finished Jedi: Survivor so I'm going to ramble some thoughts that other people have probably already had, about something that blew my mind as an extraordinary example of medium-as-storytelling. big honkin spoilers for Je:Su below.

So, "turning to the Dark Side" in SW is usually going to be a plot beat in the two primary forms that SW media takes, right: visual (movies, TV) or written (all the books, but also in fanfic). In both cases, as the audience, you're largely going to have to take the author's explanation for how it feels, why a character is doing it, and what the motivations are behind it. Even in visual media you're more likely to be told than shown, since it's established as an extremely internal, feelings-based experience for the characters. Because it's not a process replicable in real life, storytelling explanations for the difference between how light and dark side Force usage feels is going to have to rely on metaphor, and on the audience's willingness to engage in pathos. Which, to be fair, audiences are famously great at! There's been mixed results in SW media, but it's perfectly possible to make turning to the dark side a very engaging story beat that feels emotionally real and justified.

Then, there's interactive media. I'm fascinated by the storytelling potential of narrative games because of the different way they demand that the audience engage with the story, right, the way that physiological input from the audience changes the connections that the brain makes to the input it's receiving. The way having to press a button to make the next action happen manipulates the lizard brain into believing itself the cause of the effect, even though the forebrain understands that the story is just as predetermined as a published novel, so the button push is really not very different from a page turn. It's a potent tool for manipulating the audience's emotions and engagement, very easy to fumble but pretty mindblowing when executed well.

There were definitely moments in Survivor when I was like "ok am I going to be allowed to actually play this game some day" when control kept being taken away from me in favor of cutscenes. But as the story went on and I got into it, I stopped minding the times when my thumbs were still, and barely noticed the transitions between "I am making this happen" and "I am watching this happen." That's good narrative game storytelling, for sure. But it still felt like a good story that happened to also be a good video game, not quite meshing the two in a meaningful way. Until Nova Garon.

A lot depends on how you play this, I'm sure, but in my case I pressed through the end of the game from the last Dagan fight to credits in one sitting. Because of how tired my hands were from the physical demand of the Darth Vader fight, and because I had been maining blaster stance for much of the game, I made a semi-conscious choice when I reached Nova Garon to use my saber as little as possible. I one-shotted a lot of unarmored officers from across rooms, having decided that Cal felt cold with rage and tightly coiled, so it would make sense for him to not even give these people the honor of being killed by a lightsaber. So I'll grant you that I was adding my own hot sauce to the delicious angst recipe the game had already made for me.

Then you get to Bode and have a really long cutscene that doubles down on the idea that Cal's anger is, at that moment, cold. He's tightly restrained. For several back and forths in the conversation he even still tries to be neutral in front of Kata.

So, for me at least, it REALLY fucking worked as a storytelling move when Cal explodes. Bode runs off, you chase, and the very first thing you're faced with is a room packed with a comical amount of enemies, the kind of melee scrum you've been trained by the mechanics for the whole game to approach with a whirlwind lightsaber freakout using either double-bladed or dual stance, ideally using Slow to buy some time. I had truly played into the game's hands like a fool here because I only had blaster and single stance as options at the time. So I'm looking around my screen in that split second, considering my stance and Force and slicing options, prepared for punishment, barely registering the notification scroll on the right side of the screen because a whole bunch of new databank entries get dumped by the Bode cutscene - the last one of which is, iirc, 'Kata Akuna.'

So Kata Akuna fades upward and is replaced by the same size white text, relatively small, suggesting a button press to you, like it's done a dozen or more times before to say stuff like 'press O to dash' or 'press R1 to tame the creature,' relatively benign things that are always very useful tools that you use over and over and over as soon as you gain them. Except it says 'press [button command you already know and have internalized as your most powerful Force tool with the longest cooldown, which you were just thinking about using] to have Cal embrace his darkness.'

And like, the phrasing is fascinating to me there. It's always fascinating to me how anyone talks about playing a video game, anyway, like "I just beat Ganon" or whatever instead of "Link just beat Ganon," because of course you feel ownership of the actions of the protagonist of a piece of interactive media in a way you rarely feel ownership of the actions of anyone in a book or movie. Previous button instructions in this same game have said 'press [blah] to do [thing]' without a given addressee, leaving the player to probably interpret that, unconsciously, as the unspoken 'you' that is typical in English grammar. 'You press O to dash.' 'You press R1 to tame the critter.' But - 'press [dah] to have Cal embrace his darkness' is so - unsettling and offputting, separating you, player, from Cal, protagonist - and it's occupying a VERY important space because the buttons its asking you to press are ones you already probably wanted to press, but instead of doing the thing you wanted it to do it's going to do some kind of new, horrible, unknown thing that is almost certainly going to be bad for Cal.

Then you press it, because you have to, and it's the best fucking shit that's ever happened to you, the player. It jumps your level by 10, instakills half the people in the room, makes you fast and powerful and nigh unbeatable. Depending on what difficulty you've been playing on, it may make a combat encounter that looked like a surefire several-deaths-in-a-row run into something as trivial as a roomful of bugs. It lasts an insanely long time. It's godmode. It's a broken mechanic. It makes your screen bleed. The unbridled glee that you, the player, probably feel while killing that room full of people is at stark odds with the circumstance you are in, storywise, because you are supposed to be feeling grief and rage and driving urgency to hunt and catch your fleeing enemy. But instead you have a moment in this room of, if you're like me, hooting and hollering while doing a big old war crime, just because it's suddenly easy and fun.

It took me a couple more 'embrace the darknesses' to realize that Cal only has one stance in that mode. Anything you've learned before is thrown away - earned skill ditched in favor of brute strength. And I didn't really care? Even though I did really enjoy how skilled I had gotten with my favored stances, because the combat in Survivor feels really good, and also I knew they'd be back after no more than 2 minutes in dark side mode. So even though I didn't get to do the moves I'd spent so long mastering, every 'embrace the darkness' was a little indulgence of having my cake and eating it too. It started to feel like an insta-win mechanic against any enemy of a low enough level, and a safety/turtling mechanic against slightly more difficult ones. I wanted to trigger it as soon as the cooldown ended even when I didn't need to, just for the fun. I felt safer having it available.

And all of that - as a mechanic - is the single most compelling depiction of the Dark Side that I've ever seen in a piece of SW media.

The way it shows up as an understated suggestion in your periphery. The way it cuts through every Gordian knot in front of you. How fun it feels, how unfair it feels, how safe it feels to have it on your side. As a game mechanic it places the audience in the position of actually feeling what before only metaphor could attempt to describe - the way turning to the dark side is all about letting go and letting loose. Being a nuclear reactor mid-meltdown. Laughing and button-mashing and going "oh no, oh shit, I shouldn't be doing this" but not stopping. And also, as the player, your mind is not clouded by any mysterious outside control - you're aware of what you're doing, you're aware you're making choices here, you could definitely stop using the mechanic after the first instance where the game has to put a finger on the scale for a moment to teach you the controls. And maybe you do make that choice, idk how you play. But you get through the massacre and at the end when Merrin asks Cal not to kill one last person, and Cal agrees, it doesn't feel cheap? It doesn't feel like Cal 'snapped out of' anything. It doesn't feel like there was anything for him to snap out of, because he, like you, has just been making these choices for room after room of enemies, and frankly no one's been around to ask him to stop before now. He still seems reasonable, and so a reasonable request by someone he cares about still reaches him.

The Dark Side isn't the grief, pain, suffering, anger, etc. It's the release from those. And this one moment of a game mechanic explains that so powerfully and succinctly, in a way that other mediums can't replicate. It's one of the the best uses of a medium in the service of the story since House of Leaves. It's still making me have to lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling weeks later.

There's more to say about how the menu screen changes once Cal's embraced his darkness, altering his internal landscape in a way that doesn't change what you have access to but which can never be unseen. About how 'Slow' as a mechanic is gone forever, the most powerful Force ability Cal had just eradicated by an imposter version (a better version, the insidious inner voice wants to say). About the dramatic, overwhelming way the game chooses to command you to embrace your darkness next time, when the whole screen goes red and black. And the phrasing is different there, too, not 'have Cal embrace his darkness' but just 'embrace the darkness,' because this time you and Cal are not being treated as semantically separate entities. The first time, it's like maybe Cal wouldn't want to, so you, player, have to be the little Sithy whisper in his head that makes him do it. But the second time, Cal wants to do it so badly that his desire to embrace the darkness overpowers your, player's, agency to attempt to make any other choice. Even if you could have won that fight another way, Cal didn't want to win that fight any other way. He takes away your UI until you free him into his darkness, release him from his complex suffering into the simplicity of power.

It's just so fucking good, okay. It's such good storytelling, structurally. The way the player's choices and Cal's actions are on a surface level one-to-one correlated but actually form this intricate internal conversation. Using the most important thing a video game can be - fun - as a tool to describe a very dark place that anyone might go to internally, whether in a reality with space magic or not. But! Not by doing the thing that's been done before, the old "you [consumer] should feel bad because your act of consumption made the characters feel bad" fourth-wall-breaking meta thing that shames the reader for being entertained by others' pain (aka experiencing pathos, an extremely normal and not-shameful thing for humans to do). Survivor uses the audience's enjoyment of the medium against them narratively, in a gleeful and not-shaming way I don't think I've seen from media before, and I love it.

anyway I have no big conclusion here, I just am a writer who gets impressed when other writers do good writing. props to Respawn for making me writhe in my feels.

[poppitron360]

Someone sent me an ask ages ago about my Valdangelo hcs, but it somehow got deleted? I’m really really sorry bc I missed a chance of a lifetime to infodump so I hope you’re reading this if that was you and you’ve been waiting for my response- here it is. Please please please don’t be discouraged I love it when people send me asks.

This also doubles up as the third instalment of my series about “Why Literally Any Ship Is Better Than Caleo/Deep-Dive Into My Thoughts On All Leo Ships”:

Pt. 1 Valzhang

Pt. 2 Valgrace

We were robbed of Leo and Nico’s friendship. I get that there are a lot of characters and so many arcs to give them, but I wish that Rick had given them more time to interact and spent less time on Caleo, because tbh we never really cared about Cal for any reason other than to develop the men’s arcs. Because Platonic Valdangelo has so much potential that just isn’t covered in the books, I’m gonna base most of this post on what COULD’VE been, from fannon and headcannons.

1. They are Trauma Twinsies. By that, I mean they are both metaphors for different ways of coping with loss. Nico pushes others away from himself, not wanting to get close to anyone. Leo pushes himself away from others, hiding behind an idealised version of himself. Both believe that letting others in would just lead to rejection, and so they shut everyone out to protect themselves. But I feel like Nico copes with it a lot better than Leo does. He has an outlet for it- being emo. As someone who dabbles with emoism myself, I can tell you that, for me, wearing those clothes actually makes me incredibly happy. Nico is owning his pain. Leo is bottling it all up inside and then hiding it behind the jokes and the smiles. I feel like Nico could teach Leo to let it out a bit.

2. Also, their backstories match in more ways than one. Both their moms were killed because of a prophecy about them- leading them both to blame themselves for their deaths. Both have been treated as outcasts because of their powers, Nico by CHB and CJ, Leo by his family (and probably CHB as well, though we don’t really see how he was treated after revealing his abilities). Both ran away because of that. Both probably have religious trauma. They’ve both lost everyone they’ve ever cared about. They’re both being smothered with love and affection by Jason and the rest of the fandom. They both cope with feeling alone by spending more time talking to things that aren’t alive, Nico to the dead, Leo to his machines.

3. So imagine how they could seek comfort in each other! They’ve both been through similar things, so they understand each other’s pain way better than the others. I mean, Jason means well, but he’s never truly known what it’s like to be an outcast- he was held aloft on a golden shield and pronounced Preator. Neither of them would try to “fix” the other, and they wouldn’t try to “one up” the other either. They just share, and when the other says “that sucks”, they know that they really mean it. I imagine they sit five feet apart and just cry. No talking necessary, just silent understanding passing between them. They keep each other company, because they both know what it’s like to be alone.

4. They are both autistic (headcannon). Thank you to @aroaceleovaldez for opening my eyes to this one, and in fact making me realise a few things about myself and why I relate to Leo and Nico so much (pls go check out their posts on the subject, they do a much better job at explaining it than me). But it’s true. I don’t know if Rick did it intentionally or not, but I henceforth hath claimed them both as my kin, alongside Hephaestus himself (“I don’t understand organic life forms”- me neither, man, me neither). Leo and Nico communicate on the same wavelength, something Caleo doesn’t do. Calypso explodes at him for not fitting the “hero” stereotype, for being different. She has no patience with Leo when he does a social fuck-up, something I personally find incredibly frustrating. When he does something wrong, she just shouts at him, and doesn’t take the time to explain what he should do differently. No wonder Leo immediately got defensive! Here was this random woman yelling at him because he broke her table, and he didn’t understand what he did wrong.

5. They are both tiny- much like how Leo and Frank’s physical appearances symbolise their differences, Leo and Nico’s symbolise their similarities. Because all sad people are short, apparently. Valzhang is the yin and the yang, Valdangelo is just two yins excitedly info-dumping about their special interests, (Mythomagic, Machinery/Dragons). Their shortness could be metaphors for many things that they have in common, but I think it best symbolises their loss of childhoods. Nico has changed a lot since he was that happy little ten-year-old we first met in ttc, but Rick never lets us forget that he’s still just a kid. Leo always lacked the physical advantage in fights, so he’s had to learn from an early age to use his brains and his wits to defend himself. As a result, he grew up way too fast, but he still projects that silly, hyperactive little-boy energy as a way to mask. Calypso ridicules Leo for his height and his scrawny appearance.

6. Nico could let Leo get closure on his mom. Think about it. He’d be able to summon her, let him make peace, and let him realise that she does not blame him for her death. Nico could console Leo, reassure him that it wasn’t his fault, because Nico understands more than anybody what Leo is going through. This helps Leo on his arc way more than Calypso could, help him get closure, and learn to accept himself and his powers.

So, the summary of all these points is: They can understand each other on ANOTHER LEVEL. More than Cal and Leo ever could.

Like I said in my Valzhang post, it doesn’t have to be romantic. I hate that everything revolves around romance. Platonic relationships are important, y’all! We all need them, especially Leo, considering how insecure he feels about being the “seventh wheel”.

What ship should I do next? These are all the ones I actively ship, but anything’s better than Caleo. Liper could be fun, or Perleo. Maybe, to prove that literally anything is better than Caleo, I’ll do Leo x Octavian? Lmk in the comments.

[angelatmidnight1]

Brotherly Love

Ramazith’s Tower is under new leadership thanks to Tav and Dame Aylin’s efforts. Rolan moved Cal and Lia in immediately. He wants them to feel at home in their new home. But, by the Gods, he has more rules than the Counting House has vaults. Don’t touch this, put that back, why’re you touching it in the first place? Cal and Lia don’t want their dear brother to become the stereotype of a grumpy old wizard. So, they take it upon themselves to get him to lighten up. 

Arabellan Dry is Rolan’s favorite wine. It got him through the hard nights in the Shadowlands, when he wasn’t sure if he’d see Cal and Lia alive again.

 Now, after being reunited with his siblings and having full control of Ramazith’s Tower, he swore it tasted even better. 

Wine and books are a complimentary pair. Rolan poured himself a glass and went to recline in his favorite chair. He was in the process of decoding an ancient tome that Lorrokan refused to share with him. He came to realize that the bastard kept it from him because he knew he’d figure it out, and do it a damn sight better. He took a long sip from the glass and set it down, sliding into the plush chair. After a deep sigh, he put the glass on a nearby end table, then reached for where he left the tome. 

Only it wasn’t there. 

Rolan’s brow furrowed in confusion. He got up and looked under the table, thinking it may have fallen, but it wasn’t there either. It wasn’t like him to misplace things, and he hadn’t had enough wine to make him forgetful. Suddenly, there was the sound of shuffling feet, followed by two mischievous giggles. 

Rolan pinched his eyes closed. He exhaled slowly through his nose. He was ecstatic to be reunited with his siblings, and even that was an understatement. He would’ve walked through all nine of the hells if it meant saving them. But, he was still getting used to their regular company and, by default, their mischief. 

The wizard rose to his feet and turned towards the sound. Lo and behold, Cal and Lia stood at the doorway, grinning. Rolan glowered; he did not have the time or desire to play these games. 

“Give me my tome back at once,” Rolan demanded, which only made their smiles widen. “I’m serious. I have no patience for this!”

Cal looked around, as if looking for a fourth person, only to make a big show of realization. “Oh, you’re talking to us?” He chuckled, “I’m surprised you remembered us at all given you’ve spent more time with your books than us.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Rolan scoffed. “Once I finish my studies, I make sure to spend ample time with both of you. Right now, you are preventing me from doing so since you stole my tome. So I ask again: Give. me. my. book.”

“Well I don’t have it,” Cal emphasized his point by raising his hands in surrender. His tail flicked behind him in amusement as he glanced at his sister. “Lia?”

“What, you mean this old thing?” Lia produced the book from behind her back. Rolan let out an exasperated growl. “Didn’t realize it was so important. There’s only a million like it in this tower.”

“That ‘old thing’ may be the difference between me keeping this tower or us being forced out onto the streets,” Rolan barked. He stomped over to them. Neither Cal nor Lia moved to run. Rolan went to swipe the book out of Lia’s hands, but she tossed it to Cal at the last minute. “Zurgan, hand it over at once!”

Cal held the book over his head. “Or what?” He laughed, holding it just out of his reach. “Gonna lash out and turn us into toads?”

“That’ll be the least I do, if you’re lucky.” Rolan almost had it until Cal tossed it back to Lia, prolonging the game of keepaway. Rolan’s already red face grew a shade darker. Lia could tell he was ready to explode. Instead of throwing the book again, she held it out to him. 

“Alright, alright, don’t blow a gasket. Here’s your precious book.” 

Rolan snatched it out of her hands. Usually, Lia snapped at him for being so brusque, but that wasn't the purpose of her and Cal’s visit. “We’ve just missed you, Rolan,” she huffed, “We know how important your studies are, but we hardly see you!”

Rolan checked the cover and pages for any damages. “As I’ve said,” he grumbled, “I will join you once I’ve finished here. If you stop bothering me, I will finish sooner rather than later.”

“Fine, we’ll go. Just one more thing first?” Lia stepped in front of him, arms extended out to the side. “Can you give your little sister a hug?”

Rolan took a step back. His eyes narrowed with a mix of confusion and suspicion. “A hug?”

“Yes, a hug.” Lia smiled sweetly. “Surely that isn’t too much to ask for before you go back to reading these dull books.”

Rolan hesitated for a split second. Then, he turned away with a haughty huff. “You can’t be serious.”

Lia’s smile faded. She lowered her arms, deflated. “I don’t always want to fight, you know. Just…a real hug, for once?”

After a long beat, Rolan let out a reluctant sigh. He rolled his eyes and moved closer. “Fine, if it’ll get you to leave me in peace.”

As soon as he was within reach, Lia stepped forward and pulled him into a hug. Rolan resigned, but barely had time to wrap his arms around her when he felt a sudden grip on his shoulders—Cal had snuck up from behind.

Wha—Cal!?” Rolan yelped, trying to pull out of his grip, only to be pulled flushed against his chest. Cal held onto him firmly as he struggled. And, before Rolan could make another indignant demand, he felt Lia’s fingers worming up his sides. 

Oh hells, he thought. Not tickling. Not something as ridiculous and childish as—

The fluttering ticklish sensations yanked him out of his thoughts. He squirmed more vigorously in his brother’s hold, gritting his teeth to keep the laughter at bay. 

“Gotcha~” Lia sang, her fingers darting from his sides to his tummy. His robes did little to block out the ticklish sensations and, when she moved her hands underneath to knead her thumbs into the spot, his shirt offered even less protection. 

Rolan growled, spewing Infernal profanities as he tried to free his arms. “Let go of me, Cal-” he demanded. The slight tremor in his voice betrayed his resolve, and he curled in on himself as Lia’s claws poked up his belly. “I mean it! Cease this childish nonsense at once!”

“And leave you to brood?” Cal snickered and held his arms over his head in a secure grip. He gave Lia a mischievous smile. “Get him good, Lia.”

“With pleasure.” Lia’s grin widened as she tickled up his stomach, squeezed his sides, and ended with dragging her claws along his ribs. Rolan flinched and bit down hard. He clenched his jaw and shook his head, determined not to give in. He tried to twist away, but Cal’s grip held him firmly in place. 

“Enough!” Rolan barked, his voice strained as he struggled to keep a straight face. “This is ridiculous.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Lia teased, fingers skittering across his ribs in light, maddening pokes. “Seems like it’s working to me.”

Rolan sucked in a breath, trying to ignore the ticklish jolts shooting through him, but the tremble in his voice betrayed him. “I—I mean it, Lia, enough of this—” His words faltered as she hit a particularly sensitive spot, and his mouth pressed into a thin line, fighting back a smile.

“Oh, you’re so close,” Cal laughed, tightening his hold on Rolan’s arms. “Come on, don’t tell us this doesn’t tickle.”

“It doesn’t!” Rolan’s shoulders shook as he fought against the maddening urge to laugh. “I-I’m n-not ticklish-”

Lia started swirling the tips of her claws in random patterns along his ribs. Rolan gasped and flinched again. He doubled over as much as he could in a last ditch effort to pull away. 

But Lia kept scribbling.

She occasionally added fuel to the fire by squeezing his hip or the side of his stomach. Rolan’s gasps and growls turned into short, reluctant chuckles. Lia cocked her head to the side, kneading her fingertips into his lowermost ribs. 

“It doesn’t tickle? Not even a little?” Lia cooed, moving her fingers higher toward his underarms, watching as his resolve started to crack. “That’s not how we remember it. You’ve always been more ticklish than me and Cal combined.”

Rolan didn’t answer. He tried to reel in the escaping chuckles, but it was becoming more and more difficult as she inched closer to his underarms. “N-Noho-” He tittered and squirmed more fervently to pull his arms free. “I am not﹘not﹘”

But as her fingers slipped under his arms, Rolan felt a bolt of ticklish energy he couldn’t contain. He sucked in a breath, pressing his lips together harder, but a small, breathy laugh escaped despite himself.

“There it is!” Cal grinned, watching Rolan struggle as his body betrayed him further with each poke and prod.

Rolan twisted, fighting for composure, but the laughter kept bubbling up. “S-stop—this—” he choked out, though his laughter was gaining momentum, his body shaking with barely contained mirth.

“Stop what? This?” Lia spidered into his hollows, earning a loud, growling laugh. “I thought you said you weren’t ticklish. What’s so funny?”

“Dahahamn youhuhu!” Rolan cursed and threw his head back as he laughed harder. Lia kept up the gentle, spidering assault along his underarms. When she wasn’t drilling into the hollows, she used her claws to trace gentle circles along the sensitive nerves. Rolan tugged against Cal’s grip with as much strength as he could muster, but he wasn’t going anywhere, and that ticklish panic settled deeper into his bones. “Lehehet gohoho of me, youhuhu brahahats!”

“Ooo, hear that, Lia?” Cal chuckled and, despite his struggling, he kept his brother’s arms locked in place. “We’re brats. Not sure if that’s a step up or down from troglodytes.”

“Oh, definitely a step up,” Lia answered, working all ten of her claws back into his underarms. Rolan lurched forward and wheezed, laughing into her shoulder. She giggled. “He’s called us worse.”

“Youhuhu’ll pahahy for thihihis!” Rolan threatened in between bursts of frantic laughter. “Nahaha! C-Cehehease this madness at onohonce!” 

“Madness? This is fun!” Lia argued. She moved her claws even faster along his armpits. Rolan’s laughter took on more of a desperate note as he bucked in Cal’s hold. 

“NOHOHO!” Rolan protested, drumming his legs against the floor. “It is mahahahadness! N-Nohoht thehehere-”

“Here?” Lia emphasized her point by kneading her thumbs into the hollows, moving them in small circles. Rolan yelped and twisted like a fish out of water. He barely noticed how Cal shifted his hold on him so that he could keep him pinned, but also join in on the tickling fun. 

“Or here?” Cal chimed in, swiping his claws along the length of his ribs. Rolan’s laughter jumped to a new pitch as he made a poor attempt to slump over. 

“FIHIHIHIENDS!” He howled and shook his head side to side, shaking with laughter. Cal and Lia giggled. They weren’t giggling at their brother, but rather with him. Rolan was usually so stuffy and proper. They couldn’t remember the last time they heard him genuinely laughing. His laughter was composed of gruff chuckles and sharper, breathier cackles if either of them got an especially sensitive spot. They kept up the tickling attack for what felt like an eternity, until Rolan’s kicking feet caught Cal’s attention. 

“Do you remember that one spot that had him squealing like a goblin, Lia?” Cal asked while kneading the spaces between his brother’s ribs. Despite being in hysterics, Rolan’s eyes snapped open. He saw the metaphorical light bulb go off in her head, and a devious grin was quick to follow. 

“Well, now that you mention it…”Lia moved so that she was now sitting in front of Rolan’s feet. “Maybe it does ring a bell.”

“Nohoho! D-Don’t you dare!” Rolan protested, drawing his legs in towards himself. Lia grabbed onto his legs in a determined grip and wrestled off his shoes. “Lia, plehehease!”

“Please? Never thought I’d get one of those out of you,” Lia grinned and fluttered her fingertips over his sole. “Now come on, I just wanna see if this spot still works!”

The effect was instantaneous—Rolan’s gruff laughter turned into loud, boisterous cackles. “NAHAHAHA! NOHOHOT THE FEHEHEET!” His laughter hit a fever pitch, voice cracking as he fell into high-pitched, uncontrollable squeals. His toes curled in a vain attempt to protect himself, but Lia’s nimble fingers danced over every inch, finding every ticklish nerve.

Cal laughed, switching from his ribs to repeatedly squeeze his sides. “There it is! The goblin squeal!” he teased, laughing along with his brother’s cackles.

Lia's fingers danced over his soles, scratching lightly at his heels, then up to the balls of his feet, driving him wild. “Kitchy-kitchy-koo, Rolan!” she teased, finding all the spots that made him shriek the loudest. Rolan jolted forward, nearly freeing himself from Cal’s grasp. 

“I yiehehehield! M-Mercy! Mercy!” he cried out, his voice hoarse and eyes squeezed shut as tears of laughter streamed down his cheeks. Finally, his devious siblings stopped their attack, leaving him in a breathless, giggly heap. 

Lia patted his shoulder affectionately. “See? You need to laugh more often. It suits you.”

Rolan groaned, running a hand through his disheveled hair. “You two… are absolute menaces,” he muttered, but there was no real bite to his words.

Cal released him, leaning back with a satisfied grin. “Guess we’ll just have to annoy you more often then. Can’t have you turning into a grumpy tower hermit.”

“I am not grumpy.” Rolan huffed with a smile still lingering on his lips. 

Both of his siblings giggled. “Yeah, not anymore.”

A/N: I had another crappy week and sat down to write something really quick. I couldn't decide between the current title or "Hug Me, Brotha!", which would've been inspired by my favorite show growing up: Drake and Josh. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the story. I have something in the works for Zevlor too; but like most of my stuff, I don't know when it'll be posted 😅

...Okay bye 🏃🏿‍♀️

[wrencatte]

"It's okay to cry you know."

Sketch looks up from where he's been trying, and failing, to refasten a buckle for the last....He blinks, sniffs, doesn't want to think about it. Instead he focuses on the semi-welcomed distraction of a...child. Kriff, that's a kid. Paler than the durasteel walls. Face covered in freckles. Hair somewhere between distressingly orange and a nice copper. Maybe he'll grow into it.

"...what?" He hates how his voices comes out as a croak.

The kid sits back but not far away. He has a single braid in his hair, a dark blue cord and a single bead as its only decoration. Sketch feels like he should know what it means.

"You can cry," the kid says patiently. "It's good for you."

"I don't need to cry," he lies.

The kid tilts his head, eyes wide and guileless - and looking right through him it feels like. As if he can see the clog in Sketch's throat, the burn behind his eyes, the nightmares that haunt him in the waking world. The last leg of their deployment went terribly. More than terribly. They had to come all the way to Coruscant for recuperation because of it. And Sketch refused to leave the ship, sequestering himself in the dim-dark engine room most people don't go in if they valued hearing their own thoughts.

Sketch very much did not want to hear his own thoughts.

"I cried yesterday. Almost cried this morning."

"Why didn't you?"

The kid shrugs. "There was a really good breakfast this morning. Distracted me. Everyone was so happy."

What happiness has to do with how good breakfast is, Sketch doesn't know, but he can't help but smile at how casual the kid is. Crying hadn't been a thing in training. Clones don't cry. Natborns do. But this kid....

His eyes sting. He wipes the back of his wrist against them. "I'm fine."

"It's okay if you're not. I read the reports."

That startles him out of whatever sort of fit he might have successfully fallen into. "They let you read what?"

He rolls his eyes. "Okay, I didn't actually read them. But they're not very quiet." He grins. "I can be really sneaky."

Sketch stares for a long moment before he cracks a laugh - and that laugh turns onto a sob.

Then, like the seals have exploded, Sketch just breaks down and weeps. For his lost brothers. For the ones he could save. He'd been too slow. Too stupid. Too...injured himself to be any use, but that's not a good enough excuse. He'd been right there. He should've done something.

He doesn't notice the kid scooting closer until he's already leaning half against him. Sketch glances down through blurry vision, strangely grounded by the physical touch for all that he can't actually feel the kid through his armor. He carefully curls an arm around skinny shoulders, pauses to let the kid move away if he wants, and when he doesn't, holds him even closer like he's a plush tooka instead of a person.

The kid bears it patiently. Not saying a word. Until Sketch's tears have dried up, and it doesn't feel like he's going to choke on his guilt. It's still there, but it's manageable for now.

"We're going to be on Coruscant for a while longer," Cal says. "The Temple mind healers are really good. Some of your brothers have already seen them."

Sketch makes a non-committal noise. He keeps his arm around the kid, relucant to lose this grounding touch. It takes too long for the details of what he said to make it through his weary brain.

"We?"

The kid grins up at him. "Hi, I'm Cal Kestis. I'm General Tapal's new padawan learner."

Sketch's jaw drops in horror. They're taking this baby into war? No. Absolutely not. Cal squeaks when Sketch stands abruptly, dangling from the clone's grip like a...like a misbehaving tooka kit. He is rather kitten-like. His brothers will have a field day with that.

No. Sketch shakes his head. No. Because there is no way Cal is going to war with them.

"Absolutely not," he repeats out loud this time and starts marching.

"Um," Cal says. "If you're going to kidnap me, can I at least know your name?"

"Sketch."

"Nice to meet you, Sketch."

[stawpny]

I’m bored and ao3 is kinda dry (atleast for the wttt ny tag)

so here are some NY ships I NEED to see more of 🙏

—

MassYork: ok, I used to be almost totally opposed to this, seeing them having more of a brotherly relationship but with history n stuff it’s kinda not possible. But anyway, probably my main ship for now, bc OHMYGOD “nobody can kill you but me”? GET OUT, GET MARRIED, PLEASE.

like if it’s Mass/Cali/York or Mass/Jersey/York I will eat it up.

no questions, it is already in my mouth. I am eating the fuck outta this.

GeoYork: in my mind they have a cute dynamic. I feel they would be best friends as younger colonies and then have a very complicated relationship until they finally get together. Slowburn kinda, also kinda they have been in relationships dozens of times but something always happens. and isn’t Georgia called the “Empire State of the South”? or am I just hearing things

peach + apple? cobbler + pie? idek but I love them

TexYork: guys pls. southern gentleman and city boy? literally perfect for each other. they would make fun of each other endlessly. accents, vocabulary, actions, plus so much more because they’re very different.

TX taking York to his ranch to meet bro’s cows??? yes please. I’d like to meet Betsy too .

^TexaCaliYork: also a fire ship (see what I did there?) like the ship above, but with the hipster in it aswell. Texas and Cal constantly bicker like children and York sorts it out like a teacher would.

NY: you hurt his feelin’s, go apologize.

TX, scoffing: fine, but don’t expect me to get along with him after.

(spoiler alert!! York forces them into a cuddle pile afterwards to get over there lifelong beef)

IlliYork: they’re enemies, they’re lovers, the whole kit-and-caboodle. they’d switch hats sometimes and hold each others hand when they’re in their cities. they’re idiots and the Midwest and the Northeast hate them for it. It’s kinda gross but in a good way.

they’d be the couple who like hold hands in public but not make a single move other than that to show that they love the other. absolutely no kissing in public, they would just sit there in silence with a death grip on the other’s hand. they would totally insult each other to the face and then say, “Love you, tho.”

FloYork: fun fact: they are absolutely insane together. They influence each other and constantly say stupid shit. Florida would force York outta his comfort zone from time to time but the inner extrovert masked by New York’s fake introvert personality will do it almost willingly. he puts up a “fight” but he would deadass do it bc he thinks this shit is hilarious.

NY would be a little like Florida even if they weren’t dating. like NYC is absolutely batshit so that would mean York would have to be a little too.

NY/CA/TX/FL/LA: little crazy, ik, but I remember reading fics abt these five (including gov, but I’m still questioning if he would be in here or not) and absolutely devouring them. spectacular ship. it’s like a little bit of everything, except the Midwest and the other western states, but almost everything. I would love to see more of them.

they would def fight over each other. (who got to hold hands with who, who got to sleep/cuddle with who, etc.)

—

I’m not forcing you to give into my opinions, but if u like these, I like you 😼

some of these hc’s are not entirely mine, some were influenced, tho most are from the rotting part of my brain

I hope u use these ships in the future or I might spontaneously combust

(spoiler alert 2!! I will still explode [out of love] if u write about them)

ily guys

[brendaareiss]

GIVE ME MORE HEADCANONS AND MY LIFE IS UOURS.

MORE 🔥

- Andre's fav drink is probably beer, while Cal's is powerade

-Cal is the type of guy to whenever Andre tells him to shut up or to stop doing anything, Cal would be like: "why" "whyy" "ok but why"

- Cal's normal order at McDonald's is a happy meal

-Cal is a masochist 🙏

-Cal would probably force Andre to wake up at 3 am because he's starving and he doesn't know how to cook

-they would DEFINITELY watch snuff movies together

-they would be clingy in their own ways. Andre in the hugs from behind, having Cal's head resting on his shoulder or chest, playing with Cal's hair way, Cal in the "I WANNA LIVE INSIDE OF HIS SKIN" way

- Cal's the bottom, Andre's the top (NO-ONE COULD EVER CHANGE MY OPINION ABOUT THAT.)

-in prom night, right when Cal ditches Rachel to go meet Andre (to do the tape) Cal's wearing one of Andre's shirt

- Andre's the one who actually made the plan, Cal was the mosquito on his ear going: "pew pew, blood, death, destruction, guns, boom, big boom, brains, knifes, blood, blood, blood, did I mention blood? Blood, blood"

- Cal's the one who would be into weird edgy and gory stuff, while Andre mostly takes inspiration from war, Cal takes inspiration in weird books, comics, movies...

- Cal's favourite superhero is spiderman, Andre's wolverine

-They would both enjoy the other's music taste (like, they are so similar, why wouldn't they be similar in the kind of music that they like???)

-The hangout house is Andre's, they rarely hang out in Cal's because of his siblings

- When Andre's like, REALLY mad, he would start stuttering like crazy, trying not to scream his lungs off because Cal hates when people scream (Cal would make fun of his stuttering, Andre would end up exploding and finally screaming at him)

- Andre's the type of guy to hate a person so fucking much that only hearing his/her name would make his head hurt

-Andre is more of a nerd that he would like to admit

- Andre explaining maths and science to Cal, and Cal like this: 🙂👍🏻 (not understanding a single word.)

-Cal would have a crush on the most horrendous and horrific beings in fiction

I FEEL LIKE THERE'S NOT ENOUGH 😭😭

[breakfastteatime]

Comfortember Day 27: Soup

“Sit down, kid, and stop looking so pathetic.”

Cal blinks at the ship’s captain. Greez is a strange guy. One minute, Cal’s sure the guy would prefer to eject Cal into space, and the next, he’s feeding Cal the way you would a starving tooka – nervously poking comfort food in its direction.

Greez is about to poke comfort food in Cal’s direction.  

Good. Cal’s stomach is empty and rumbling. All that running around Zeffo gave him an appetite.

The scent of spices fills the whole ship. While Greez is hard at work cooking, Cere is reading something on her datapad and BD has snuck into the cockpit to run some scans while Greez is distracted. It’s so peaceful, so… so… homely, Cal is surprised to find tears in his eyes. He’s reminded of meals with Master Tapal when it would be just the two of them in his quarters. Master Tapal encouraged Cal to explore new foods and pretended not to notice when Cal snuck extra food onto his plate. More recent memories surface too, memories of Prauf stirring up whatever ingredients he’d manage to scrounge together for Cal’s birthday meal.

A hand falls onto his shoulder. Cal jolts, looks up and sees Cere. He hadn’t heard her approach. “Why don’t you wash up before lunch?” she suggests.

Nodding, Cal slides into the refresher. He squats down and hunches over, smothering the sound of his sobs with his knees. It takes a few minutes, but he gets himself under control. He stands, washes his hands and his face, makes sure it’s not obvious he’s just had a breakdown, and returns to the galley. BD’s on the table now, standing alongside a big bowl of soup. Greez and Cere are already there, Greez pulling fresh bread apart and sharing it out equally. BD can’t resist a scan. Greez glares but Cere silences him before he can complain. Cal sits down, picks up his spoon and tries the soup. It’s warm, spicy without burning his tongue, and holds just a hint of sweetness. He dunks his bread and feels it melt in his mouth.

It's one of the tastiest meals he’s had in his life.

Greez says nothing as he ladles extra into Cal’s bowl.

Twice.

By the time he’s done, Cal’s stomach is full to bursting. He slumps against the back of his chair. “Wow, Greez, that was amazing.”

Caught by surprise, Greez splutters for a moment. Cere nudges him, restarting his communication systems. “You’re welcome.”

…maybe Greez does like him?

Cere gets up and starts clearing away. “I’ll do the dishes.”

Whooping, BD lands on Cal’s stomach.

“Noooo, BD, stop! I’ll explode!”

Cere catches BD. “Enough. No one wants to clean an exploded Cal off the decks.”

“Hey, no exploding Jedi on my ship!” Greez grouses. “Cal, help Cere. Droid, behave. I’m gonna make sure we’re still on course for the literal warzone you’ve decided we need to fly right into.”

“Greez?” Cal calls.

“Yeah?”

“Maybe someday you can teach me how to make that soup?”

“I’ll teach you so long as you promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?”

Greez jabs a finger at Cere. “You’re safer in a kitchen than she is.”

[kcalsforhim]

˖⋆࿐໋ sunday 8th of december

⋆˙⟡

today i woke up nice and comfortable in my bed,, i had been tossing and turning all night long kinda sleeping weirdly... so when i woke up this morning i decided to go downstairs and have breakfast.. psst.. i didnt have the best food day, but my weekends are always my worst food days so im not even going to hate myself anymore atp

breakfast : 4 chevape, a dot of mustard, a small babybowl of pumpkin soup, and 1 lotus cookie.

cals : 177

this time i had my breakfast actually warm.. the soup was nice and rich and creamy, it had just the right flavours and i like this way more than i did the soup out of the pack i had last month during soup diet week (which failed LMFAO). happy with my accomplishment of one lotus.. then my 4 chevape was good, there were only 4 left which meant i really couldnt overfill my plate either way

then i went back upstairs after i had this, it was good and it actually left me feeling ok. when i got myself ready to go to work i brought the lunch my mom packed with me.

lunch : a serving of pumpkin soup , chicken in one container, and in the other container some chicken and pasta. both of these portions were also satisfyingly small

cals : 321

the soup was lovely as i had described earlier, the chicken in the container came out of a pot of like.. chorba my parents were having today that i will not eat even if my life depended on it lmfaoooo. the chicken was okay, it was the only thing that was warm hahaha

then the pasta and chicken in the second container were better, i liked that it was slightly spicy ? i didnt have those.. green circle vegetables.. i dont like the texture of that thing so i threw it away

drinks : monster zero sugar ultra rosa, hot chocolate, but i only let the machine dispense 20% of the milk

cals : 52

mark gave me that monster, i chose the hot chocolate of my own accord... i watched as the milk from our coffee machine pooled down near the drain... i actually gave mark a hot chocolate but with the milk since he doesnt care, and there was a very visible difference.. what i drank was essentially water and chocolate powder, with basically a splash of milk.

work was going fine until one person just... idk threw me off and ruined my entire day ? basically i was ready to crash out at annnny second. the more the minutes ticked by, the more stressed and overwhelmed i was getting. i was actually reflecting how ive been thinking of quitting my job for a whiiile now, but since ill be going to a 40hrs a week internship, i need my weekend rest before i explode. so after my shift ended i wrote my manager a note and stuck it on the POS screen

"sorry i forgot to count the flowers... also, ill be dropping by tommorow, ill only have 5 minutes of your time" ... and well yeah tommorow im putting in my 2 weeks notice. or however.. whatvever. im quitting my job lol. went home after this crying LMFAO im so stressed

dinner : 1 tortilla thing, its very thin, a small layer of cream cheese, ketchup, 2 salami slices, that in a tosti toaster thing. then 1 apple, and some honey... idk what the chunks are probably some kind of nuts...

cals : 334

the original plan was to come home and eat 6 packs of kinder bueno making 12 kinder bueno's in total.. however i decided to ask my mom to make me something instead. she was very considerate of how i eat and my portioning, and we came up with something healthy and nourishing that would make me feel better rather than me being an idiot and binging on lots and lots of chocolate.. i did infact feel better and i know this was not needed, i couldve gone to bed, but this happens all the time after work and i just need to accept that my job like, actually stresses me out after close to the point where it makes me cry and makes me want to binge. the portion is kind of big but.. it couldve been worse. idk. tommorow im omad'ing

total steps : 6.3 k total cals : 884

i found this song while posting on my insta about my oc's and i needed a song to go with it... this is so cute !!! and so catchy, i love it ~

⋆˙⟡

[etoiline]

do you trust me

(read with characters and tags on AO3 instead)

Cal remembers Dathomir, and a particularly treacherous labyrinth of scarred walls and blood-red cliffs that he hadn’t been sure he would be able to traverse. He remembers missing his grip so badly that he tumbled down the rock face in a spin, only able to gain his footing at the absolute last moment so he can launch himself onto another ledge, and live to search another tomb.

He remembers, when Merrin finds him next, shortly after that embarrassing incident, wondering if she’s been watching him make a fool of himself. Cal can’t do much about his face reddening to the color of Dathomir’s sky, but he tries to cover it by asking Merrin what it's like to teleport and never be worried about taking a fall.

She smiles at him and his stomach swoops, almost like he was tumbling down that cliff again, and says, “It’s like wind through gravethorn, Jedi. Speed that cuts.” She does not elaborate.

Cal finds, now that he’s flying through space in her green-magic wake, that Merrin hadn’t needed any more descriptors. She’d asked him do you trust me, he’d said of course because he thought it was obvious and what are you up to before seeing that glittering portal, and she asks about trust again and what is he supposed to say but yes? And then she’d kissed him, sweet and sure and long enough that BD started cursing in Binary and shoving a little foot into his shoulder because there’s a karking Trident bearing down on them—

He’s the wind through gravethorn. Merrin’s magic cradles him but it does not protect him. He’s never flown so fast on his own, with no speeder beneath him, never fallen in a crystalline moment as the world slows around him, confident that the green-wreathed portal will catch him and yank him to another place. But the speed comes at a cost, debris tearing at his clothing and shrapnel slicing past his face, hot blaster bolts singeing far too close for comfort, tears ripped from his eyes. He doesn’t let any of that stop him from examining that monster of a machine, because it’s speed that will keep them from becoming nerf kebab on its piercing claws.

Merrin’s portals guide him to a weakness, a locked joint on a vicious limb, and Cal laughs as he latches onto it, vaults atop its metal hide, heedless of the sandy drop on either side. He won’t fall, not with the Force to guide his steps until his saber can slash deep into the mechanism, not with Merrin’s magic rushing past him in ribbons, waiting to catch him as he dives off the writhing machinery.

It’s exhilarating. Cal almost doesn’t feel like the thing is trying to destroy them, like this beast of metal and anger is simply a dancer in a esoteric ballet, a player in a planetary orchestra with the Force as the conductor. If the speed of the portals and the wall jumps didn’t steal his breath, Cal would laugh for the joy of it.

But every symphony has an end, and Merrin and Cal find theirs, the Trident looming ahead of them, leaving no time for Merrin to draft another portal.

“Nowhere left to run,” Merrin says, looking only at Cal. He hopes the luck from their kiss hasn’t run out.

“Then we stand together,” Cal says, letting his Force expand there atop the mesa, feeling Merrin’s green-hissing magick coalesce at his side, a complementary note to his fiery power, and he grits his teeth in a grimace. The Force and Dathomir’s smoky haze hang heavy among the sandy stones for a frozen second.

“Now or never,” Merrin says, and Jedi and Nightsister thrust their power at the Trident, her acid fog exploding its armor, his burning Force throwing the pieces back at the Imperial machine, the both of them keeping up the assault until the Trident collapses on itself, falling into the depths of the red canyon below.

The weight of the Force is suddenly gone from Cal’s hands, and he exhales, but Merrin says, “One last jump—and it’s a big one,” because they’re atop a mesa with no easy descent, and Cal follows the greensmoke trail of Merrin and her portals. He relishes the speed, whoops in the air, flinging his arms out in pure delight and relief, until they find solid ground in a grotto lit by the soft light of a green ray shield. Cal slides out of the blast of magic, skidding a little on the rock, and fetches up against Merrin’s side. He puts his hand on her arm, the both of them shaking with adrenaline and breathing hard. “How did you do that?” he says, awed.

“A ritual I learned on Dathomir. It is...taxing,” Merrin says, leaning into his hold. Cal gathers her into his arms, letting Merrin rest her head on his chest. He closes his eyes and remembers falling, and flying, and echoes of acid-green magick, and hopes he can fall again, as long as Merrin is there to catch him.

[fading-adhd-hyperfixator]

TW.

This might become a chapter series~

THIS FANFICTION IS A XMAS GIFT FOR @calcium-cat!!! <3 IT TAKES PLACE BEFORE CHAPTER 21.

Major tw for drowning, blood, and trauma!

Plot based off of @orbital-inclination's Molten Dream oneshot and @calcium-cat's One Small Dream AU, plus her oneshot Shattered Dreams 1 and 2 on Ao3!

Please take this angst, Cal. This is only the first chapter, of course. Suffer as you made us feel with chapter 21 and 22~

Some things that should never have been said chapter 1 - the accident (Word count over 2000!)

Dream sat in his room, in front of the ripped up (and, now that he truly looked at it, it was bad, awful, just as horrible as-) drawing on the floor.

The ripped drawing, torn straight in half, showed him and Nighty. Well, Nighty before this. They were in front of the tree, the scribbled sun shining brightly. They had been holding hands before Dream ripped it.

Dream felt.. numb. Sad, angry, but he didn't want to alert Nightmare with his feelings, so he pushed them far, far down.

He didn't want to be here anymore.

He crumbled the pieces of the drawing, put on his cape, and waited.

He waited until he knew no one would be awake anymore. He had decided to break Nightmare's rules, to leave, to find a way out of this 'AU', they called it. (Dream still didn't understand the concept of 'alternate universes', he was still only just a child.)

He opened his door, hearing the almost silent creeak as it slid. Dream began to walk towards where he had escaped before, his footsteps falling silently on the stone below, as he began to let free some of that sadness by silently sobbing. His head ached. He wanted to get out now.. before someone caught him. As Dream wriggled through the window, he began to feel better. (Although the feelings he buried deep down threatened to stir, as he thought subconsciously what Nightmare would think.)

He began to run after a bit, his shoes making the leaves and sticks underneath crackle and snap. He had gotten far enough away that no one would hear him. He wasn't sure if that would be a bad thing or not.

(Of course, how would he know? He was purposefully trying to do this. He didn't want anyone to hear.)

~~~

"Dream, listen to me! Please-!"

"I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, NIGHTY!! I DON'T NEED YOU!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!"

His face fell, as Dream backed away before running away, far away. He began to lightly sob, as he processed this. His fingers gripped the soft grass below, as he-

..soft grass?.. The only grass around his castle was thick and piercing. This wasn't right. He glanced up. The Tree of Feelings.. and the village? He was confused, looking at himself. Purple clothing with gold accents. He gripped his forehead. A crown, with a moon engraving..?

This.. was not right. He needed to wake up.

And, as he felt the sharp, agonizing pierce of negativity in his soul..

..his eyelight opened. Nightmare sat up quickly, panicking at how sour and wrong this felt. He had never felt something like this before, not here. This was almost like a cry for help. This.. this was very, very wrong.

He pulled off the covers, silently slipping out and checking each room. All of them were normal.

..except for Dream's. Dream was gone. He was gone? This wasn't right, although Nightmare had very much established that before. This feeling was coming from somewhere else. Maybe he had left? But he knew the rules.Nightmare quivered, his negative goop dripping onto the stone floor as he pondered it.

...Maybe.. maybe he was still bitter from the fight. Maybe he didn't want to be with Nightmare and the others anymore. (Which, Nightmare would never admit this, but that possibility scared him more than death.)

He ran out into the (sickly) empty forest. So much fear filled him, he thought he would explode, as Nightmare ran through the forest, getting closer to the feeling..

He heard the rushing of the river. The river shouldn't be rushing right now. It was the middle of winter, for star's sake! Then it hit Nightmare that Dream could be inside the river. Inside.. those rapids.. the rushing water..-! He needed to find Dream. Now.

~~~

Dream couldn't see. He didn't know what had happened. Everything was cold, he had to hold his breath-

He had slipped, taken a few tumbles, and… fallen. Fallen into.. a stream? A river, perhaps? Dream couldn't tell. All he knew was that he needed to swim up. But which way was up? For all Dream knew, he could be upside down. He hit the bottom of the lake, crashing into a rock. Dream opened his mouth to cry out-

And water- horrible, bitter tasting, dirty water rushed into his lungs, his mouth-His lungs screamed for air, (metaphorically, skellies don't have lungs I'm just stupid) his eyesockets opened, and he spotted a light. The surface.

And then that light dimmed out. Dream was still conscious, he hadn't closed his eyes.. but what was blocking his vision..?

All he knew is that he was quickly thrusted out of the stream, coughing and choking out river water and bile onto the sandy shore below.

His vision began to fade as Dream collapsed, exhausted and scared. He didn't want this.. what was going on..?

~~~

Nightmare lifted Dream out of the rushing river just before he went out of sight, setting him gently on the shore as panic filled his soul, his entire being. “DREAM!!”

As Dream fell, he was lifted gently with a tentacle and taken into Nightmare's arms, as Nightmare hyperventilated a little. Sure, sure they were immortal to old age or any natural causes.

But murder or something like this could still kill them.

Nightmare frantically pulled out his phone, and sent a single text.

'River. Now. Bring monster candy and run.'

And he waited, holding Dream's shivering, small figure. Dream's soul was filled with fear.. and some incomprehensible emotion.. perhaps hatred? He looked down at the puddle Dream had choked out. How long had he been in that stream before Nightmare came? How long had he suffered?

Dream's HP was.. scarily low. Nightmare couldn't exactly heal it due to how terrified he was, but he could at least look for the wound.

There.

Nightmare lifted up Dream's wet shirt and stared at the fracture that ran through the back of Dream's ribcage and spine.

That.. that was bad.

Where were his boys?..Had they not woken to the text?Maybe he should call.Yeah, maybe that was it.

But as Nightmare stared at the bloody crack, he couldn't

move

a single

bone.

He couldn't even process how dull and cracked Dream's tiny soul looked. He didn't process Dream's health

slowly

depleting

to 1.

And, when he did, he still couldn't move. Nightmare stared at Dream's small, shaking body as panic set in, quicker and heavier than before.

“DREAM!! WAKE UP!!”

Where were his boys when he needed them?! He sent another frantic text, before calling Horror.

It took a moment, but eventually the phone was answered. “mmm.. boss?.. it's 3 in.. the morning..” Nightmare couldn't help but feel a twinge of humor at how ridiculously tired Horror sounded.

“You didn't get my text?..” Nightmare mumbled into the microphone in such a blank, sorrowful tone that disgusted him. He was the Guardian of Negativity, and he was upset. But, then again, he was upset over Dream.

“..I'm looking right now. You sound upset enough, I know it's probably important. .. I'll be there with Cross, Killer and Dust in a moment. Whatever it is, please be safe, boss.”

The phone clicked, as Nightmare realized the kindness in Horror’s tone.

And Nightmare sat there, holding Dream as he focused everything on making sure Dream didn't lose the last of his HP.

~~~

Horror pondered things while he dressed and woke the others. He went into the kitchen to wait.

Nightmare had sounded so sad..

He took a few bites of the leftover food that Killer had set out, before wondering why Dream hadn't come outside during all the chaos.

Probably just asleep.

It was too early for him, after all. He'd never get to sleep if he was up at this ungodly hour. He didn’t even know why Nightmare needed everyone, and he said he needed monster candy..?

All Horror knew is that none of his (brothers) co-workers were missing. It worried him.

Perhaps just a peek into Dream's room..

He started toward the cracked door, footsteps growing slowly faster when it seemed like he would never get there.He opened the door quietly, the whine of the squeaky hinges causing Horror to wince before looking inside.

Pieces of ripped paper and broken crayons on the floor. His Nightmare doll on the ground, like he had thrown it into the wall. Cape missing. Pajamas on the floor. Shoes missing. Bedsheets torn aside and strewn around the room.

Horror.. was now feeling his namesake, as he yelled at the others to hurry up. He ran as fast as he could to the medicine cabinet, grabbing every single monster candy they had and a few bandages, stuffing them inside his coat pocket.

He began to dash back out, before running into Cross. He almost knocked the oreo-looking skeleton over, quickly apologizing before trying to run again.

He felt a light pressure on his arm, and turned to Cross.“..You're never this upset, big guy. Tell me what's wrong, and take a deep breath, okay?..”

Horror felt a little relief, and sighed, explaining how broken Nightmare had sounded on the call....

and the fact that Dream's room was a mess, the small space no longer holding the small positivity guardian. Cross went silent at that, eye lights searching Horror’s face, concern and mild fear in them.“..Killer, Dust, hurry up. This could be something related to Dream. He's not in his room.”

Killer and Dust immediately picked up their pace, albeit not very much. Horror grimaced. “..I've got the candies. Grab some bandages and meet me out there.” Despite knowing he already had a few, he knew that he needed to prepare.

He ran out the door, eventually hearing the river rushing...

..and Nightmare yelling Dream's name. Oh, dear stars, his fears were true and Dream was hurt, he was hurt, Horror had a right to worry and maybe he would never even see that little smile ever again and yes that struck him harder than any blow he'd ever taken even from Undyne-

“HORROR! HERE, QUICK!!” Nightmare's dread filled voice cut Horror out of his panic attack as he ran over to look at Dream. Upon seeing how soaked, and shivering and cold the poor thing looked, he texted Killer ‘bring a towel.’

“Boss, tell me, is he hurt, how low is his HP, and how long has he been like this?!”

Nightmare took a deep breath before responding.

“He's got a severe fracture on his ribs and spine, I've been keeping him from dusting, he's at 1, and..”

Nightmare trailed off. Horror caught from the guilt on Nightmare's face, that Nightmare had not been here when Dream had fallen in. “..I brought bandages.” Horror mumbled before gently lifting the small bittybones’ shirt and taking a better look at the broken bones.

Oh.

Oh stars.

Oh stars oh stars oh stars oh stars-

“..Horror?..”

Dream was really hurt this bad? This could've killed him, he should've come sooner-“

..Horror, you're pulling at your socket, you're spacing out.”

And all that guilt came crashing down on Horror as he stared, filled with his namesake, at the bloody fracture.

“-Horror!”

He blinked as Nightmare waved his hand in front of Horror's face. He gently removed his fingers from the side of his face, feeling the sore pain of his soft eyesocket. “..We need to focus on Dream right now.”

Horror sighed and began to carefully wrap the bandages around the tiny bones, minding when Dream let out a water-filled pained cry through his unconsciousness, muffled through Nightmare's hoodie.

He turned Dream onto his back, popping a candy in his mouth before leaning back and attempting to take a deep breath.

That failed.

As did the next attempt.

He spaced out on the dark, cloudy sky, beginning to hyperventilate. He pulled his skull down in between his knees, barely holding back tears.

He stayed like that.

Maybe Horror believed that it was too late.

~~~

Horror still layed, spaced out in his bed, staring at the ceiling.

Killer, Dust, and Cross had arrived, and they had gotten Dream back to the castle. All Horror could see was that frail, injured, tiny, shaking, cold, wet body. Did what he feel count as feeling traumatized?

He didn't register the hand waving in front of his face.

He, of course, didn't register the voice saying his name.

Until it got louder, of course.

That hurt his already aching skull, as he went to groan and hold his head, he felt cold tears.

Had he been crying?

He hadn't noticed..

His senses slowly flooded back, and he registered Killer's half-gloved hand waving in front of his eyesockets.He turned his head, to see.. Killer was worried? He didn't have enough strength to register what Killer was saying, until it hit a quiet, shaking level of worry.

“..Horror..? ..You okay?.. You're k-kinda scarin’ me..”

He shook his head and everything flooded back.

“Oh.. oh yeah.. yeah, I'm okay.”

Okay or not, he felt an aching feeling pulling down his soul like blue magic. Fear. Doubt. Guilt?

He waved Killer away.

“..You should try to get some more sleep. It's 3:37.”

“Ah- y-yeah- of course-..”

Horror turned to the wall, trying to begin spacing out again.

But he noticed that Killer.. never actually left?

He looked back, seeing Killer hesitate

.“..We’re both worried, Killer. You should go to Nightmare. I think Cross is doing first watch on Dream tonight.”

Killer was silent, as he nodded stiffly and left the room.After a while, Horror's eyesockets shut.He had fallen asleep.

But that nagging guilt still tugged.

~~~

Dream was tired. He could make out that much. He felt the pain. He felt the cold, until someone had wrapped him up. Someone had given him candy.. and bandaged him?His head still ached more than anything. Hadn't they fixed it? Or maybe that was the adrenaline in his soul wearing off.

From all he knew, he had hit the bottom of the river. He had passed out after.. Nightmare saved him? Was it Nighty?

He really didn't know right now..

He wanted Nighty now.

He wanted to hold his goopy tentacle. Dream knew that Nighty was not near. From what little awareness he had, Crossy was with him.

He wanted to wake up.

Yes, that was what Dream wanted!

He needed to get up! And apologize!

After all, it was pretty early.

Or maybe that was just his head aching that convinced him of the time.. it could be the middle of the day for all Dream could know..

Eventually, Crossy swapped for Rory.

He wanted a hug from Rory.

Dream was in pain again.Like when he lost his tooth, but a billion times worse..

Okay, maybe he was overreacting.

Even a child could tell that much.

---

It's mine and a few others' headcanon that Horror pulls on his socket when he's nervous! :3

I accidentally cut off the last few sentences, but I'll pop them into the next chapter <3

merry christmas everybody!!!

[thatcheeseycandle]

SPOILERS FOR YIAU: IPOS CHP. 38, "6XX66 - Merry Hampton"

——

Hi hello, currently me before posting this looking over the post to add in stuff I couldnt type down, so sorry for the delays on promised posts considering I'm at a hotel with my parents to visit family)

But thankfully by the time I'm posting this, it's the last day before I go home tomorrow so hopefully I can speedrun some projects to throw them here

And ah the the paragraph with a bold font will explain why this reaction was so late

——

//IM IN THE CAR AS OF STARTING THIS, HEADING BACK TO THE HOTEL (CAUSE YEAH I WENT TO ONE WITH MY PARENTS TO VISIT FAMILY), I REBLOGGED THE CHAPTER

ITS HERE OHMYGOAPAHADNAUAHOAH

IM EXPLODING SO MUCH IM HOLDING IN SO MUCH-

AND WE START IT OFF WITH TYDFIL WOOOOOOOOOOOO

AAAAAANDDD I HAD TO FRESHEN UP, OKAY LETS CONTINUE YEAH

Tydfil TYDFIL AH NOO :(

Current me here, insert a bit where I go silent reading and how I dont know how to word my thoughts in this. I remember my feelings being mixed between guilt and anger towards Merfyn 6024

Fuck wait ITS BLACK SMOKE AH NOOOOO SNAP OUT OF IT TYDFIL

"She felt like her boiler was about to up off her frames in fright" HOLY GOD????? CHRIST SOMEONE HELP THE POOR GIRL SHES HAD ENOUGH-

NO TYDFIL NO NO DONT DO THAT TO YOUR BRAKES EVEN MORE NOO

"She wanted her comforting reassuring presence but every time she called out to the old, kind engine there was no answer. Tydfil truly was alone." MY GOD. THIS. AAAAAAMYGOD

NOTYDFIL NO THEY ARENT GONNA BE AFTER YOU NO NO IS ALL OKAY- NO TYDFIL NOOO

OI STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER OR I SWEAR TO GOD

What the

OH.

Ay ay AY HENRY??? HENRY ITS HIM LETS GOOO

This is a very interesting pair up, now Im curious how this goes👀

"This had to be some sort of trick, right? This Henry was tricking her, trying to decieve her like all the rest." nO NOO NO HE ISNT

BUT SHIT SHE ISNT GOKNNA BELIEVE THAT, SHES TRAUMATISED ENOGUH

Yet again, current me before posting this here, I loved this scene between Tydfil and Henry where it's just mainly dialogue (until Tydfil breaks it with her audacity LMAO) its a relaxing sort of scene to read. Especially after the whole adventure that is me and my parents making our way back to the hotel room lol

"What's the point of this?! This is stupid!" tYDFIL LMAOOO TYDFIL YOU NEEDA CALM YOUR SHITE

"Edward speaks highly of you" FUCK YEAAAHHHHH THEIR RELATIONSHIPS ARE TYING EACHOTHER AND ARE USEFUL WOOOOOOO

LOVE IT

"Why would someone try to hurt me if I was a good engine?" GOSH DAMN. DAMN I

THE FIRST SHOT, PREPARING MYSELF

Now that THATS REAL TALK, POSITIVE REAL TALK, APPLAUSE FOR HENRY RQ CAUSE DAMN

And this is another unique dynamic I look forward to seeing in the future, I cant describe the feeling of it but Im getting uncle and niece vibes from them, but either way I LOVE EHM

wHAT THE FUCK

RHION AY ITS RHION ITS HIM

FUCK RIGHT, BLACKSMOKE, YEAH.

"The Black Smoke, or whatever Ms Parsons had done to him had completely and utterly stripped him of any warmth, any hope, any semblance of warmth" Ms Parsons when I catch your arse WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU I SWEAR TO GOD

Okay yeah Im gonna appear a lot from the current, this scene, my heart ACHED I tell you ACHED. RHION YOU POOR SOUL (I was speechless in this)

No no RHION HE ISNT YOUR BROTHER ANYMORE

Okay well he never fuckin was

WHAT THE FUCK???? WHAT AND/OR WHO IS THIS

Current me, I dropped my reading device, and I nearly fell off the bed in this

DROP THE FUCKING SHITE WHAT

BUT HES- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING OONNNN??????????????????????????

NO RHION NOOOOAOAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO BO DONT YOU FUCKING DO THIS NO NOOOOOOOOO

MALLARD I SWEAR TO GOD

WHAT????? WHAT WHAT HUH

NOAOAOAOAOOOOAOAAOAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAOSOAOAOOOOO RHION NAOAOOO FUCK NOOOO

HE CANT BE FUCKING DEAD NO. NO HE CANT PLEAAAAAASSEEE

Summary of that rant to this bit: FUCK YOU 6024 AND MS PARSONS, I WILL BE AFTER YOU I SWEAR TO GOD

Okay OKAY YEAH. LETS GO INTO THE NEXT BIT.

What the fuck- WAIT WAAIAPSHSNAKABDDKHFBDOSHDHDXJ

POLLYPOFLTAJAOSBDLZGCNSIFN

CALM, CALM OKAY CALM.

What the fuck WHAT THE FUCK WHAY FUAOAKAPPAPAOAAOAO WHAT WHAT

WHERE THE FICK IS POLLY???????????????????

Ay AY A\Y AY AY AY ITS THE BOOK THE JOURNAL FIAUAPDJNDIABHDS

ITS THE BOOK OHMYGOD

ITS NORTHS JOURNAL

THIS IS OUR VERSION OF THE GRAVITY FALLS JOURNALS. OH MY GOD.

Norths sealshspa NORTHS SEAL???????????

NORTH AHS A FUCKING SEAL?????????

Now this is a detail I'll be keeping an eye out for if there are more GNJournal entries (or anything that shows North's journal) coming

MERYEGAKAPAUSVZVUKAOSXHDJCJCJCJUUUUJH

MERRY HAMPTON

OKAY WERE HERE

THIS IS HAPPENING

OKAY

TORN?????? RORN

ToahhaISHSKAJ

OKAY YES, RIGHT

I swear if its black smoke, I SWEAR- PRAYING THOSE FEELINGS ARENT THAT. NOT AFTER LAST TIME

"Yet, Olivia had the very distinct feeling that the answers lay within this journal." nO SHIT SHERLOCK OHMYGOAOHA

Necklace NECKLAAIAOAOAAIAHSAO NECKLACE ITS THE NECKLACE ITS THE RAVEN PENDANT IM FUCKING CALLING IT

FUCKWUAYDKAAA MY NINAGS COMIG SHITSHITSHITSHIT

Okay Im on the roof deck, dark mocha latte for the evening, LETS MAKE THIS EVENING BETTER

Ay AY WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS POLLY APOLOGISING WHY ARE YOU APOLOGISING OHMYGOD WHY DID YOU SAY THAT??????

So wait. Let me get this straight before I go bonkers; North doesnt have one journal but many journals for each engine he's most likely revived, and the first GNJournal entry we saw was actually Merry Hampton's journal/record

Thats. THATS ACTUALLY SMART HELLO?? North is upping his game right here, a true researcher!

What the fuck. WAIT. WHAT THW FUCK IS THIS?? THERES A DATE. WAIR WAIR-

IS THIS LIKE HOW EVERY OAGE IS, IT HAS LIKE A "GWR: [], LMS: [], LNER [], SR [], etc" TYPE THING??

Wait, whats with SR here?? Ill be noting that down, thats suspicious

Stanier tried saving him. I

HE TRIED SAVING NORTH, HOLY GOD

So they used black smoke, SO THIS PROVES THAT BLACK SMOKE IS ACKNOWLEDGED TO BE SOMETHING GOOD. LIKE AS IN IT CAN BE USED TO RELIEF PAIN LIKE PAIN KILLERS.

HOLYFUCK STANIER KNEW MORE INTO GOLD DUST??????? HE KNEW????????? FAILED EXPERIMENTS?????????? WHATTHEFUCK DOES THIS MAN KNOW HOLYGOD

OKAY SO, SIR GRESLEY KNEW THEN PASSED IT TO PEPPERCORN THEN WAS PASSED TO STANIER. Im guessing Peppercorn wouldve done it around the time before, during, or after Sir Gresley had passed considering the flashback in Chp. 26 where Sir Gresley and North were talking about the war

Oh shit. So Stanier was dying- HE WAS DYING. FUCK THIS IS THRILLING AND TENSE

THE COTTAGE WAS HIS???????? OKAY SO ITS BASICALLY A STUDENT BECOMING A MENTOR TO KEEP THE CYCLE GOING FOR OTHER STUDENTS TO BECOME A MENTOR, CONTINUING THE LINE OF KNOWLEDGE.

So that confirms one of my smaller theories, Stanier was indeed a mentor to North (that was just a theory out of shits and giggles..)

WOAH SHIT OKAY UH WEEW. LNER ROSE UP REAL FAST.

Oh OH. DAMN.

No fucking way NO WAY HE KNEW ALAN PEGLER??????? Okay well he did know the A1 Trust anyway, so why am I surprised LMAOO BUT I MEAN IT STILL IS HALF A SURPRISE

No NO WHAT WDYM WHATAAA WHAT WHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT

WAIT SO, THSI MEANS THAT A CORONATION HAS A REVIVED CONTRUCT. ONE FO THEM.

Golden Circle GOLDENCIRLAGAKAOAAH

SO HE WAS INDEED IN THE GOLDEN CIRCLE.

EughFOCK OKAY THE LNER IS STILL IN FIRST PLACE.. IM WORRIED

WHAT THE FUCK??? WHAT.

WAIT WAIR, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??

Cause look, from what I know, there are a decent amount of Wardens for the LMS around that time period, humans and engines.

It. IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE WHAT THE FUCK

"The Black 5 if furious and threatens to crack my skull open." Surprisingly the most normal threat North has recieved so far. Damn.

Wait WAIT. HE ISNT A RUNAWAY??? HES NOT- HES A KICKED OUT MEMBER, IS WHAT IM UNDERSTANDING FROM THIS.

IFUCKINGCAAAAALLEDDDDD IT I CALLED IT OHMYGOD I CALLED IT. SIR GRESLEY STARTED IT WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Fuck wait WAIT WHAT. WELL FUCK OKAY THATS VERY BAD. BAD.

"Perhaps that was all it ever was, a dream." GOSH DAAMN. DAMN OKAY

I AM GETTING MORE CONCERNED AS I READ THIS.

Okay a one month timeskip, WHATTHEFUCK

WHAAT. 25?????????????

I

I CAAAALLEDDDD IT I CALLED IT OHMYGOD YEAAAASSSS YES YESSSSSSSSSSS LETS GOOOO

ENGINES SAVED BY WORKMEN BY THEM HIDING SAID ENGINES YEAAAAAAAAASSSS

Rooster. OKAY SO THAT CONFIRMS IT, ROOSTER CAME AFTER NORTH DID. OKAY GOOD. THATS YEAAASSS

J CLASS MENTION WOOOOOOOOO

Wair WAIT WAIT PEPPERCORNS. WAIT SO. WAAAAIT. WAIT WAIT OHMYGOD WAIT

THIS DOESNT CLEARLY CONFIRM IT, BUT IT MIGHT BE HINTING AT HOW KESTREL/KHLOE IS A REVIVED CONSTRUCT RN

But but, it still raises the question, WHAT WERE THEY REVIVED WITH??? WAS IT WITH GOLD DUST OR ARE THEY SILVER SOULS?????????

Wait FIGHT?????? HOLYGOD THERE WAS A WAR. THERE

ANARCHY, OF COURSE IT WOULDVE HAPPENED

So then. Okay SO NORTHS GOAL; SAVE SIBLINGS

I

——

Okay so ah, before I continue this, let me just say this:

The next bits I reacted to were just WIPED OUT by tumblr when I tried saving it yesterday in my drafts, but thankfully Im running on naps, caffiene, and some hours of sleep cause I know I forgot how I reacted and what I did react to (considering this was a first read so yeah)

As of writing this little explanation it's the second day I'll be staying here at this hotel before going home, starting up back the reaction below this paragraph at around 5 am rn (wow I woke up early, not complaining though)

So basically LETS CONTINUE THIS REACTION FROM WHATS BEEN LEFT, RUNNING ON HOPES AND DREAMS EDITION!

——

Oh OH SEPTEMBER 16TH

THATS POLLYS SCRAP DATE ISNT IT??

And IT FUCKING IS LETS GOO

WOOOOOOOOO LETS GO NORTH ANOTHER WIN

I POLLY?? Okay well of course shes doing that, its North, I think we all know she has a reason to be upset at him

Yet again, crossing off another thing that seemed impossible yet was possible, North believing things such as myths and beliefs circulating around an engine.

But then considering he has the logic to not believe in such things without a proper reason, maybe this is actually hinting at something Merry has?? Im guessing its something related to black smoke or some sort of “gold dust technique” (what the fuck am I saying)

BUT either way I still have my suspicions about her soul (both how it is in the present and past times)

Cause for some context, Ive had a theory (for a while) that Merry (or Jacqueline in the present) had black smoke inside her soul for a while in a way where Blue Peter had his black smoke stored, but in a way where it’s the cause of her cruelty as a parent.

But that was a scrapped theory since I had another theory involving Silver souls, her being one of those said silver souls in that theory.

Anywho CONTINUIJG ON LMAO

AND LETS GOOOO NORTHS GONNA SAVE HER YESSSS

But then, it would scrap my Silver Soul theory for Merry considering she hasn’t died, is what Im understanding here

“Rooster was appalled and almost threatened to kick me off his farm, a farm that I finance, I might add.” Now this sentence mADE ME WHEEZE

Ay AY AY WAIT SO SHE ISNT DEAD. OKAY RIGHT YEAH, SHE ISNT DEAD

“Merry Hampton is my sister after all.” DEVELOPMENT PEOPLE, DEVELOPMENT‼️ ‼

OH LOOKY HERE 30TH OF OCTOBER LETS GOO

IFUCKINGCALLEDIT YEEEAAAAAAASSSS YES STANIER DID HELP YEEASSSSS

AND OOH BOY NOT IN THE WAY I EXPECTED.. THIS HAS TURNED A LOT

Wait WAIT CONSTRUCG???? CONSTRUCT??

“Would go insane” and “Vessel for despair” intrigue me, cause that sounds like cold iron sleep-

Well I mean it in a way where the insanity could be where your denial of facing death leads to a spiral of insanity that makes them face it even closer, and how “vessel for despair” could be interpreted as a vessel for black smoke to feed on their despair of facing death

Okay shit I just backread a bit SO MERRY DID INDEED DIE. BUT THE QUESTION IS, WHEN DID SHE DIE???

Waoh WOAH WOAH WOAHAIAOAAHAHA ITS THE SPILLED THING ITS THE SNEAK PEAK OHMHGODOSHAOAA

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

THE FIRST GNJOURNAL IT MAKES SENSE NOW

MERRY AND POLLY WERENT SAVED TOGETHER NO MERRY WAS INDEED SAVED OR WAS ATTEMPTED TO BE SAVED BUT NORTH FUCKED IT UP BY GIVING HER A CRUDE CONSTRUCT AND SO THAT LEAD TO HER HAVING TO BE IDK SENT AWAY FROM HIM??

AAY AY AY LOOK ITS THE OHMFYAO

SIR GRESLEY??????? HARMING HERSELF????????? WHAT?????????

AY WAIT. SO BLACK SMOKE WAS INDEED KNOWN TO BE A PAIN KILLER OF SORTS FOR ENGINES. OKAY NOTED

Coldstreamer. CODLHEAKAPA COLDSTREAMER OHMYGOD

KINGFISHER??????????????????? WAIT SOLARIO??????????

COUNTERPART TO SCOTSMAN- BITCH I THOUGHT MALLARD WAS HIS COUNTERPART OHMYHOD

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SO MALLARD WAS INDEED KNPWN AS A HEALER BUT HIS MEMORIES WERE WIPED OF BEING ONE.

I just fuckin realized, Mallard was just a tool, a tool to relieve pain. When he wasn't a fellow bird enjoyer that is.

Thays. THATS SO DAMN SAD MYGO

If I knew that before reading aGS, it wouldve been even more sadder istg

WHAT THE FUCK. SO THOMPSON TRIED GETTING THOSE MEMORIES BACK BUT HE FUCKED IT UP BY DESTROYING HIS SOUL

ITS LIKE TRYNA GRAB A LITTLE BITE SIZED CANDY OUT FROM A TALL GLASS VASE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, YOUR GONNA BREAK IT EITHER WAY.

HEAL MERRY HAMPTON’S CONSTRUCT??????????

Oh fuck Pollys not talking to him, shit

“All I have done is prolong her tortured existence.” YOU THINK??????? 

DAMN.

HUNDREDS???????? HUNDREDS. FOR EVERY RAILWAY. COUNT EVERY FUCKING RAILWAY AND MULTIPLY THE NUMBER OF THEM ALL WITH 100 MYGOD

Ay HOLD THE DAMN PHONE

HENDRICK WAS STORED IN A STOREROOM????

WHAT HAPPENED TO MALLARD- OH FUCK RIGHT THE YEAR

MEMORY??????? OHFUCK THEY MEMORY WIPED HER AS WELL.

Wait, black smoke feeds on any negative emotion (from what I understand), and memories can conjure said memories.

From that I can guess that Merry had black smoke used on her when reviving/reforming her into a construct but something went wrong and so CUE THE MUSIC

Woah WOAH WOAH THE LMS WARDENS, FROM THE THING, HOLYGOD

AND WAIT WAIT. SPION KOP OHMYGOD SPION

Wait, back in the server Loraine said that Spion Kop translates to Spy Head in Dutch, so then- OH.

OHIFUCKINGCAAALLEDDDDDITTTT MERRY DID HAVE BLACKSMOKE YEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSS

Pause rq cause JACQUELINE BYRON IS A COOL SOUNDING NAME HOLYGOD

Ay AY OKAY YEAH TIMESKIP TO ONE WEEK LATER LETS GO

I take it back its been five damn years..

Oh something's wrong, yeah NO WAY there isnt anything wrong cause THAT SOUNDS BAD. VERY BAD.

Wait. Marley Vaughan? That sounds familiar sec-

Okay I was wrong, that name doesnt belong to a GDC we know. Noting that down

Woah WOAH WHAT THE FUCK WHAT?? SPION WHAT HAPPENED????

Wait WAIT. OKAY SO- HOW. THE FUCK.

THATS WHAT IM ASKING AS WELL

Wait this would be 14 years before (from what I've conjured/theorised) Olivia was born, so does this mean she has a secret sibling or does she age slowly?? 

Ah FUCK OKAY. POLITICAL CORRUPTUON GEAH LETS DO THIS, LETS NOT GO CAUSE THAT US BAD YEAH.

HE WAS A JUBILEE?????????????????? NO. NO WAY FUCK NO. ALLISON RAY WHYY???????

“Though I do not think it was intentional on Arethusa’s part to give Merry a child” Buckle in, prepare for tough shit cause I SWEAR-

JEREMY PARSONS??????? HEREMYSAJAO JEREMY PARSONS. HOLYSHIT

STEAAAL?????????????????? STEAL. OKAY- FUCK WAIT. I MAY NOT JNOW HOW THIS JEREMY PARSONS IS RELATED TO MS PARSONS (COULD BE HER TWIN??) BUT SHIT THIS IS WHY MS PARSONS WENT FOR NORTH TO GET OLIVIA’S WHISTLE. TO CONTINUE WHATEVER JEREMY PARSONS HAD PLANNED.

HEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

WHAT THE FUCK. HES DEAD. MYGOD AND WE DIDNT EVEN KNOW MUCH ABOUT HIM OTHER THAN THE INFO THATS BEEN SHARED, SOMEONE GIVE THIS GUY A FUCKING FUNERAL MY GOD

TAKE MERRY????????????? TAKE MERRY. OHMYGOD TAKE MERRY??????

ANCHOR????????? ANCHOR, LADY, CREATOR, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GUY ON???????

“Never have I seen someone so unhinged.” I couldn't agree more with you North, cause WHAT THE FUCK

BLACK SMOEJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

OHMYGODOAOA

OKAY THIS JSUT CLICKED IN MY MIND FOR YOU LOT TO NOTE, EVERYTHING I'M READING THAT COMES AFTER THE MARCH 8TH 1969 ENTRY IS MY FIRST TIME READING THEM.

I AM SHOCKED.

Thank GOD Hamilton and Allison came cause NY GOD THAT. THATS TENSE HOLYSHIT

YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS YEAH GET HIS ARSE INTO JAIL RIGHT NOW, SERVES HIM RIGHT FOR DOING SUCH A THING

Wait. What the fuck- WDYM ARETHUSA AND I????? YOU JUST SAID HE WAS DEAD WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??????

IS THIS A GHOST TYPE SITUATION?????

“She is with child and the baby is everything to her now” Jacqueline Byron Vaughan YOU TRAGIC WOMAN

“My curiosity is not higher than that of Merry’s happiness.” I am not strong, THIS SENTENCE RIGHT HERE-

AWWE. THATS JUST HEART WARMING, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY TO MERRY AND HER SWEET CHILD (I am melting, like Ive said, I AM NOT STRONG)

wHAT THE FUCK. WAIT WAIT- BLACK SMOKE??????? NO FUCK WHAT NO NO NO WHAT.

MADE HER ILL?????????? MEMORIES???????? OH FOR FUCKS SAKE WHEN SOMETHING GRAND HAPPENS IT GOES DOWN HILL (WHY AM I SURPRISED??)

Remarkableblu

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJHVXHQSBJ CBSHVJ HEF HISFBC IM NOT NORMAL

AaaGYXQOHJXLSscBMVFJ  FSINBV SLVFEAIUFWFOWUDWULVVUYCDWTFURVHIVVYK.UUKUG  DQRNB.FWJJBMWF   P 2E

I NEED TO BREAARHE HOLY GOD. 

OLIVIAS MADE OUT OF GOLD DUST AND BLACK SMOKE. THIS IS WHY SHE COULD GO NEAR MALLARD IN AGS, BECAUSE SHE COULDNT BE CONTROLLED BY MALLARD'S BLACK SMOKE CAUSE SHE HAD HER OWN AND IT EXPLAINS HOW SCOTSMAN COULD SURVIVE IN HER BODY IN THE SAME SERIES.

AND THIS COULD CONFIRM HOW SHE HAD A HEART CONDITION, IT WASNT A HEART CONDITION, IT WAS BLACK SMOKE FIGHTING WITH HER GOLD DUST.

OLIVIAS A CONSTRUCT, A HYBRID CONSTRUCT, AND SO HER CHILDREN ARE THE HALF HUMAN AND HALF CONSTRUCT ONES NOT HER

THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH YET QUESTIONS MUCH MORE.

[vacantgodling]

❤️❤️❤️

LEGGOOOOOO (fyi i am randomizing what wips i am gonna have a ramble about)

(1) cage universe

KSKSKS i've kinda taken a mini break from planning schism but that's just kinda bc my irl life exploded and i've been tryna get over a lot of the bs that's going on, but where i left off with planning everything was just the entire chapter 2 which tldr (spoilers ig) cass and han are in paris and cass wakes up early to get them some breakfast. he ends up getting accosted at the food stand (cuz its in a lone-ish alley) by some talon goons and is gonna end up being taken to chateau guillard however he doesn't know that. what he also doesn't know is that when he's shoved into the van that the person sitting across from him with a bag on his head is actually jack, he got captured on purpose bc he's insane. and i really need to write bittersweet btw. idc about jack most of the time but jack and vincent provide me with a certain kind of brainrot that him and reapsies cannot replicate for me. i just kinda want the two of them (jack and gabe) to like fist fight each other but not even in a sexy way just like try and kill each other or smthn lol. its really funny to me that i don't ship them bc for all intents and purposes they have a dynamic that i normally love, but tbh i think its just the fact that i havent' imprinted on either of them like a baby deer so idc.

lmao.

(2) purple haze

i'm actually in a weird place regarding purple haze. calvin and jake are the oldest ocs that i have and still "use" but idk if i feel the same burning need to write purple haze like i did when i was 20. but i think it's bc a lot of the pain that i was feeling i channeled into it when i was younger and now that i'm getting older and more removed from the sitautions that made me feel that way in the first place, i just don't feel the same burning itch to write it. this isn't to say that i'm getting rid of the story or cal and jake or anything like that; maybe i'll write it for myself one day? but for now i just like thinking of all the characters and their relationships whenever they do happen to cross my mind. i'm glad they're happier.

(3) supernatural dads

I CAN'T DECIDE WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH KASPIAN TBH it drives me nuts. like i don't want him and his third baby mama to get together (i don't think? like they just seem like friends to me, though i could explore it ig? they have good chemistry its just not what i thought was gonna happen and i still don't think it will tbh). and i keep waffling back and forth between if i want him to have any type of p h y s i c a l relationship with either hue or jihan (cuz make it messy why not) and etc. i keep thinking on it and gnawig on it. but i want him to be happy too!! i just dk what that looks like for him and it could be because he doesn't know what that looks like for himself.

[cuprohastes]

A day in the life of a Super Burnout

How many times have I done this now?

Too many to count: it’s like drinking coffee. You just don’t remember it because it’s so… normal.

I feel energy from around me sinking in, and I leap — No Olympic athlete could hope to jump this high. Pole Vaulter maybe… I don’t have a pole.

I hit the top of my leap and ignite my power. The leap doesn’t count. This is what’s going to keep me from coming down. It’s like having steel rods in your forearms. I’m bracing on them. It’s like holding yourself off the floor between two balance beams.

I have muscles like you wouldn’t believe from doing this. Also, a ton of muscle tears in my back.

I eat vicodin as a bedtime snack.

Shields go up. You have to be in the air, or you just scoop a chunk of pavement, and you’re pinned. At that point, someone can just walk away unless you drop the shield, and then your Captain Got Shot.

OK, a couple of rounds hit the shield, but people are used to this nowadays, and they normally just fire off a couple of rounds to see if you actually did throw a shield up.

I had a buddy who claimed he didn’t need to put the effort in because everyone knew you would have a shield — and besides, these guys have lousy aim.

He’s the reason we get shot at, just in case. Good ol’ Captain Shot In The Face. What a guy.

Ground over doesn’t work if some asshole in a costume hovers above you doing power poses. I’m just trying to arch my back to maintain balance. They don’t need to know. It looks cool as hell on YouTube.

The secret is not to try to move forward. You’d just find yourself pinned or tear your arms off at the elbow.

We found out the hard way on that one.

The Shield’s centred about the median of the volume of your pelvis, but for some reason the quantum lock likes to think of your forearms as the locus. So you move the locus, it pulls your arms along and the rest of you follows, carrying the shield.

Allegedly, there’s 67 minute of air in here, but I’m taking up part of the volume, I can maybe hold this pose for six minutes before I give up and just drop. At that point I’m still in the bubble but because now the bubble is holding me up, I’ll just flip upside down and hang there and then drop on my head if I drop the shield.

Number one cause of Supers with broken wrists is trying to catch themselves from a shield drop.

So here we go. Leap up, shield on: Tink! — Nine mil. You get to recognize the sound, then a meaty concussive bam. Bam? Are they firing fucking fifty Cal? Assholes. You miss with one of those, someone a kilometre away explodes.

Look around. There, there and there. Thee. Drop, move the locus nice and fast, smack the first guy — it’s like being hit by a wall. Not fast, but it’s kind of a semi-irresistible object thing.

The guy bounces off the pavement, and that’s not good for you. Drop the shield, punch him to make sure he says down…

Fists of justice! Or knuckle dusters. Christ, my arms ache.

Second guy leans out. Step in, nice and fast and give him an uppercut. Oh, fuck, that looked nasty.

I hate it when they scream.

Last guy should have a bead on me so power jump, shield up, turn… man that is a big gun. Who even makes those. Wait, who even carries that?

He can’t get it around. I just step up, and the stupid long barrel hits me in the shoulder and stops. he’d have to take like… what six steps back to point this thing at me, and I’m pretty sure it’d kill him to pull the trigger. I think it’s man portable artillery.

I vaguely remember seeing something like it on Forgotten Weapons.

So. I punch him in the kidneys and break his wrist. I feel bad about it, but if he fires that thing around here, it’ll blow right through a building.

I’ve got a couple of one-liners for this stuff, because it looks good on the superhero body cam footage. But what I actually say is, “I’m so tired.”

A half second later I add “Of crime!” but nobody is convinced.

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

3, 8, 9, 12, 19, 25, and/or 28 :)

PINESTRIPE HI MY BEST FRIEND HI HELLO!!! *waves excitedly*

what’s your favorite candle scent?

I don’t have one! XD My sense of smell has never been particularly strong, and I also just. don’t really care about most scents? Especially the ones deemed pleasant by the majority of people, like freshly cut grass or pine trees or pumpkin spice or flowers or whatever! I simply do not care about most of them :) And because of that I have never once been super crazy about candles, I’ve never really wanted any, I’ve never enjoyed any, even. So no, I don’t believe I have a favorite candle scent!

tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good. 

@iiusia — your posts / reblogs are Invigorating in the best way possible, they make me get excited and worked up and inspired and alive, and your genuine passion for Christ is so Fiery and real and it inspires me a lot!

@calx0xo — the friend that I have known for the longest!! Oh Cal you are lovely & a joy to talk to and I want to meet up with you So Bad and I’m so freakin grateful that we met <3

@biathediamond — you’ve made my experience on tumblr and in the DSMP fandom So much more enjoyable and just Better. You’re witty and full of incredible ideas and you’re smart and I look back on the early days of our friendship where I’d stay up until 4am talking to you through DMs with such immense fondness <3 You’re an awesome human being and a very awesome friend and I love you a lot :]!!

@pinestripe37 — BEST FRIEND BEST FRIEND BEST FRIEND!!! You’ve been so instrumental in just. so many aspects of my life, Pine. You’ve helped me grow in my faith, you’ve helped me heal after being lonely & friendless for a very long time, you’ve helped me learn to appreciate all of God’s creation, and you’ve brought a lot of joy, comfort, and Goodness into my life :’) It goes without saying but oh my gosh I love you and I love you and I love you and I love you <3

what calms you down?

Multiple things!

putting on my Ghostbur sweater

listening to soothing acoustic music

reading through Bible passages slowly & thoughtfully

curling up with soft blankets in my bed

how are you?

!! well! !!!

This week has been a whole Lot of everything, but the past few days I’ve been able to relax so that’s been extremely nice! I haven’t felt like reading or writing though, so that’s been a bit dull. Right now I really want a sandwich :] AND I GET TO SLEEP ON A SOFA BED TONIGHT I’M VERY EXCITED!!! I tend to sleep quite well on sofa beds!

most important thing in your life?

My faith and my friends!

what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.)

Probably artwork, although I do genuinely appreciate Every gift that’s given to me if it’s given out of love & with thoughtfulness :)

hugs or hand-holding?

Hand holding, I think :0 I’m very iffy on hugs, and very very particular about who and when I give them to/receive them from. Hand holding is a very soft form of affection, I think, and I really really love it :’) It’s not uncomfortable for me like hugs often are. Whenever I get to hold the hands of my little cousins my heart EXPLODES