#CRYING YOUR BRAIN IS SO BIG
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Maybe I reading this wrong but this popped into my head on a reread: Does Leo like fighting his family not only to feel their ninpo but also because fighting is the only way he has had physical contact in the last five years? If it is that just makes every fight scene all the more angst filled, not that they needed help in that particular aspect. Thank you so much for writing an amazing story.
I'M
THIS IS DEVASTATING AND I LOVE IT
#CRYING YOUR BRAIN IS SO BIG#but you're right Leo hasn't known a touch free of violence in five years#and in a way it's what he thinks he deserves#he remembers (somewhat) how to hold back himself#but he doesn't expect anyone to hold back for him#don't worry he'll get some much needed TLC later though#his fam is going to take very good care of him i promise#TNV asks#TNV Final Chapters Spoilers
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Going back to work after this but
#i mean ill be doing laios and marcille genfic content regardless and you cant stop me but#this isnt something that necessarily has to happen in little creature so im just testing the waters#my sick little brain. and its love for putting these two in all the trappings of a het relationship#while its still completely platonic#i just. she is so pathetic and little and clingy when shes horribly beartbroken#and he is her big stupidest puppy in the world#she would preemptively like. yell at him and hit him with books and pillows and swear that if he makes it weird she'll kill him#while he literally hasnt said a word about it#and then she'd curl up like a shrimp so compact he could hold all of her in just his arms#and it would literally cause so much drama if anyone else saw but he doesnt care bc she needs it#and bc he and falin are the only ones she feels THAT safe with#he is all she has when she needs to cry *about* falin#polls#a little creature#sorry. i just.#she is the closest thing to a girlfriend he has and he is the closest thing to a boyfriend she has and its all platonic and i#[feral noises]#“boyfriend” but its your platonically life bonded himbo with the same cup size as you who could lift you with one arm#or EASILY cover your entire body with his just by crouching over you a little#and also he will be the happiest man alive at your wedding to his sister
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So beyond the whole "Ganondorf is now Canonically a Femme Fatale" conversation, I feel like this part of the interview wasn't discussed a ton? Because apparently the original vision was that Zelda doubted whether to restore Hyrule at all (an interesting conflict! put it in the game next time!), and then got punched into the past and then seemingly was convinced of the necessity of her role and Hyrule as an entity (I'm extrapolating but it feels like it's what's being suggested, the direction they wanted for her arc, and it's basically what we get in the game).
And uhhh.
that certainly does not help the whole. imperialist. thing.
#totk#totk critical#zelda#thoughts#when will my brain return from the imprisoning war...#the Dreaded Imperialist Debate#because then the game ends up being about “never doubt your divine right to rule! it's your duty to reinforce your ancestral power!!”#and wow does it suck!!!#she's powerful but never does a thing in the entire game#she just drifts gently and is a big crying noodle you can harvest resources (+ sword) from#literally what does she do that's unique to her and doesn't involve assisting somebody else (especially rauru or link)#she doesn't even like.... seal ganondorf#or deal any kind of damage to him#(except badmouthing him to rauru and sonia which does literally nothing and changes nothing)#genuinely zelda deserved such a better arc#everyone deserved so much better
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the specialist giving me my seizure test eeg where they attempt to induce a seizure: "don't worry, this is the chillest test you can do"
me: UM SO THAT WAS A LIE
#my body spasmed#i couldn't control my left arm it like curled under me#we didn't even get 1/3 through the flashing lights part#i fking lost it#big time#my face was twitching so much my whole body was like#jumping#which isn't my normal seizure symptoms but i heard photosensitive stuff can be different and affect your brain differently idk#also i had an overwhelming urge to cry?????#eeg#seizures#temporal lobe epilepsy#epilepsy
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I just gotta say i absolutely ADORE your art! it makes me happy to see it on my dash <3
UMM EXCUSE ME ???????? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#UMMM ?????????#THANK YOU SO MUCH ??????????????#ILY I LOVE YOUR ENERGY THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU#CRYING BRB#WOW#ME ??? THANK ????#YOU TOO !!!!! I LOVE YOUR SONICS#YOUR BIG BRAIN#orz bowing before you tysm#bonnie answers
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a wild assortement of comic wip screenshots and a random doodle that i posted to twitter but not here
(this doodle here is of Raal (aka demise before he became a deity) but whatever happens here isnt anything 'canon', i just randomly doodled him to try a loosen up my painting style bc when i work on the comic i tend to concentrate too much of rendering it perfectly and i dont like that)
#ganondoodles#doodles#art#i am so very tired#too tired for tags#btw i do love and read every ask i get but damn i just dont have the energy to reply to most#and i feel so guilty#i wish i could make a warning show up when someone wants to send me an ask#that just says -yo i love and cherish and reread all asks but unfortunately have zero energy to reply but chances are it made me cry-#given the asks isnt mean spirited or straight up bots#which my impsoter brain sometimes still tries to make me think#like either woo look at all those people LYING to your face#but i have grown alot since those days and now its mostly just#so look what a nice and lovely absolutely beautiful ask this person send you and you disrespectful fool are not answering it shame upon you#thats most likely why i have been getting less and less and man i feel so bad#like when its asks about drawing advice i either dont know what to say bc i dont have any idea what im doing eihter#or bc i plan a giant response with a big ass illustrated tutorial even tho i know i neither got the time or energy for it#but still cant answer then bc wait you wanted to make a tutorial you cant answer it just like that#and when its a super nice compliment about my art i just#dont know how to express my gratitude and silently reread it time and time again never answering it bc then it would be gone from the inbox#;__;#alright falling asleep brain better not have written sth i will regret reading tomorrow#i think this is the longest tags i put on a completely unrelated post of mine#if you have read all these tags send me an ask only containing the name of your fav fruit and i will make you a little pixel sprite of it
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TODOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#BEST BOY IS BACK I SHED ACTUAL TEARS#FUCKKK i forgot how much i love him 😭😭#he ALWAYS appears when yuji needs him most what if i cry and throw up#(nobara comeback soon TRUST)#anyway i liked this chapter BUT . i’m mad abt choso#like as far as deaths go . i think his scene was good. i cried . yuji calling him big bro at the end feels fitting#BUTT his death was a lil toooo sudden for my liking + i feel like it undermines the fight he had w kenjaku !!!#bc that fight ended w choso’s death as a curse. and . so . I MEAN#in a way i can understand the appeal writing wise of having him die once as a curse and once as a human#BUT LIKE ….. yuki telling him to ”live as a human” was suchhh a powerful moment n i rlly felt like it gave him plot armour 😭#so . well. im not too happy w this. BUTTTT you have to understand how my brain works …. i see todo aoi and i get hyped#and the final yuji/choso scene was rlly rlly heartwrenching :(((#so i liked the chapter. but i cant say i rlly like the writing choice……..#im just praying for todo not to die PLSSSS dont take my bestie from me 😔😔😔#(also logan if u happen to see this my grievances are with you and your family at this time)#ari noises ✩#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#jjk 259
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These two coming back to youtube and possibly going to start posting more regularly makes me so happy so just let me rant. ;') I am SO GLAD that they didn't hire somebody to edit their gaming video for them. I was worried that they would hire somebody else to edit their video and the vibe of it would be different. The editing style, the cute moments that they chose to leave in, and their banters are just so THEM and they took me right back to my high school days. It's just so heartwarming to see them so unapologetically themselves, and I am so happy for them. I am so ready for more gay jokes and less jumpcuts..hehe
On the other note... I was rewatching BIG and Phil's Draw My Life post-coming out for the phanniversary after watching their comeback video. It gave me all the feels to say the least. I would really like to ask them where I can find my best friend forever and how to sustain such a healthy relationship? Like telling the whole fucking world that this person makes you feel safe and you are lucky to find someone you are SO compatible with? (if it isn't the best and sweetest compliment ever, i don't know what is...) Like that person allows you to take a break and explore yourself and your creative endeavors while agreeing to pause the channel that brings the biggest monetary income for 5 fucking years AND being EXTREMELY supportive along the way? Like BEING THERE for each other through the highs and lows? Like being the safe place to go back to in this world filled with craziness and chaos? Their love for each other really transcends all the normal definition of relationship. I have to admit that my young rotten nosy phannie mind kinda wish that their first comeback would be their marriage announcement video but oh well.... Despite EVERYTHING, it's STILL YOU and through EVERYTHING, i STILL have YOU... i guess ;')
P.S. If we were able to manifest the dnpgames comeback, we might be able to manifest a wedding announcement video?
#why would i read it at work?!?!?!?!#WHYYYY#literal tears in my eyes!!!#anon wtfffff that's so beautiful#idk how you could watch big and dml2 after yesterday#HOWWWW WHAT'S THE SECRET#im so grateful for this community that share 1 brain cell and every possible emotion ever#this is art#thank you so much for letting me in your brain for a second 😭#phandom#dan and phil#im just gonna really cry idk#answered#devan wedding announcement!!#if dnp ever sign papers it's gonna happen quietly im like 99% certain
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this is a quite broad statement and probably #controversial but i'm not including any nuance because i think i overexplain myself and that's a bad habit especially when i turn off reblogs for all of my posts anyway. i think that many people who believe their issues with not understanding people's tone or intentions are because of their autism when they are in fact just not caring about or giving any thought to other people's feelings and using their autism or suspected autism as a reason to never attempt to better themselves because to them asking them to be considerate is effectively like asking them to cure their autism. please notice how so many people who are this way are white
#thinking about being a quite autistic young girl being bullied by an also quite autistic boy for half a year and having him tell me that he#didn't know i didn't like it because i 'never said so' after it would regularly make me cry#grownups doing things like that is what i mean. i know you have context clues in your big boy brain🔎🧠
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kill me with hammers and guns and run me over with a train and explode me with a bomb im starting to have baby fever dreams BAD again
#godddddddduuuUUUUUH.#wake up and start crying because you miss your dream baby who didnt even exist it was just a big tummy atp.#guys my brain wants a baby so bad who is going to indulge her#no I've been awake like almost an hour and im still continually tearing up. this is lame as hell come on guys COME ON
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feeling terrible feeling guilt n regret n just wishing i could make it better but i think in trying id make it worse (again)
#i just want to apologize#i want to say sorry in a way that matters#i wish i knew how#its not even a big deal i dont think i think me feeling bad is already making it worse#somehow everything bad is my fault but nothing good could ever have me included in the equation#and i dont know how to convince myself of anything else#over n over im hounded by my brain#like oh u must think youre so important#but i dont#i just always ruin things#my existence has always made things worse#its all i know#so i have to try#i have to try n make things better even if im humiliating myself in the process#even if it has nothing to do with me i still want to help#but i never do#i make it worse#i feel like im breaking everything piece by piece n i dont know what to do#all i do is cry
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🦨
#ughhh someone pointed out the atrocity in my face. i hate thatfeature of me so bad#and now i cant stop thinking about it and i hate myself and my face and i got bad feelings#because throughout my entire life i've been so bullied for it#i feel so ugly ugh!!!!!! i am ugly i wanna cry who could ever love me when i look like this skksksks#the worst abt having a face deformity is that it is on your FACE!!!!! i cant hide it#it's out there for everyone to see#and i cant remove it. i can get plastic surgery etc but i cant afford that at all now. maybe when i have a job :(((#and it really is so big in my brain. i notice it constantly#i cant look at other ppl without checking their chins to see if it's smooth or not#and most ppl have normal chins. pretty much everyone has a normal chin!!!!#i wish i was normal too. i hate looking like this i hate it so bad#it is so unfair that i gotta be stuck w this ugly fkn feature but everyone else gets to look normal#so unfair so unfair it makes me so angry#why did i get the worst genes ever i cant stand having to live my life being this grotesquely ugly#anyway.... i try to suppress it nd not think abt it but earlier today someone made a comment abt it#nd now i just wnna cry because it is soooooooo ugly and i hate it#besides yeah it made me rmbr my school years bc ppl were sofkn mean to me abt it#like im sorry i know im ugly wtf do u want me to do?!?!
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thinking of creating a personal rule of not answering questions/dealing with the wangan on Thursday and (especially) Friday nights because of my school schedule
#ivan.docx#last time i did i got so incredibly upset and pissed off it's embarrassing looking back at it#like. 10 hours of school back to back will do Something to your brain#and by that i mean fatigue#so if i ever suddenly stop talking/listening and its a friday night... you'll know why...#btw i do like my school and learning so far. big brain.#like i was fuckin crying. over the wiki. wack
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Mentally ill boy whines again. Solution: Get Out Of There
#im fucking TRYING too as well and it's just constant fucking roadblocks or my body screaming to self sabotage and quit and kill ourselves an#d ruin our body and flay ourselves and repent and beg for forgiveness for being a body of sin like. GOD. I'm so tired of it!!!!! and i can'#even stop it because i csnt change my innner voice or the weird neurotic way kf thinking bc my brain goes '#'its keeping us safe! safe! safesafesafe!' bc of Oh Boohoo you got '''''neglected'''' as a child and had your needs not met' well mommy and#daddy sajd they loved you grow up. you got 'locked in your room' and had your apologies ignored ok well youre making a BIG deal about this#top crying boohoo you got bullied. you and everyone else#and then when I go well no they way i got treated was fucked. growing up poor fucked us up. you can still be loved and raised unstably and#uffer bc of it it becomes a fucking game to my brain to list every single way we Had It Better and therefore cant be suffering and its like#do you fucking hear what youre saying!!!! amd then!!!!!! i go through this fucking ten times a day and wonder why i struggle with feeling l#like a human being#and this doesnt even touch the whole mature for your age becoming kind of a therapist to your parent and hearing their issues and adults off#loadinf onto you and like. man. no fucking wonder i struggle so much with interpersonal relationships om top of everything else i dont have#a personality until I know what the person needs from me!!!!!!
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there’s nothing like a phobia-induced panic attack to really wake you up in the morning
#screaming crying throwing up but i mean all that literally#my first interaction of the day was a standoff with the big spider chilling in my kitchen sink#i wish i just had a phobia of heights or something bc then i could just avoid being up high#but nooo it had to be spiders. unfortunately i do not control the spiders#i wonder if people who don’t have phobias understand the depth and intensity of the fear a phobia causes#you see the trigger and it’s straight into fight/flight/freeze no warning#your brain is 100% CONVINCED that your life is in peril#do you understand how exhausting that is when your phobia is of something commonplace and completely out of your control like spiders#for real every time i kill a spider it’s the bravest thing ive ever done#and yet i feel so guilty about it bc i try not to kill bugs. i prefer to capture and release#but i really really cannot pick up spiders. those guys have to die im so sorry i can’t do it im not strong enough#they’re like sith lords to me. too dangerous to be kept alive#ro speaks#ro rants about their phobia in a desperate attempt to calm down#arachnophobia#spiders#phobias#panic attacks
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seemingly the only way i can ever get into any new thing is if i spontaneously decide to watch/read it
#shut up danni's talking#in other news aloneintherain posted a welcome to demon school iruma-kun fanfic while i was sleeping#woke up the notification and thought huh well i don't wanna get up now so lemme boot up crunchyroll#i am now on season 2 ep 1#so that's fun!#and i would die for iruma - him and azz are deffo gay#my angel clara is either lesbian or she's aro lesbian and i can't decide which i like better so shrug#but that girl eiko is ABSOLUTELY bi honestly she's like my fave side character#uh big buff and dumb blonde is also a favourite of mine#he's so passionate abt the demon king and stuff and i cackled when he found out the demon king club was full of nerds#and yet he IMMEDIATELY without a single second of hesitation joined and like MAD respect i adore him#ameri is also cool but she is absolutely demiromantic with a romantic soul and i ship her w eiko#but man the relationship between iruma and his grandpa is so sweet???;;#i wanted to melt at the festival and the other classmates were like oh man bet you're the pride of your family iruma and he was like#YEAH I LOVE GRANDPA AND OPERA#i wanted to cry#also the fact that iruma puts his hair up in a ponytail when exercising is my absolute favourite thing#and is definitely a key reason why i think he's one of my faves i'm always weak when a character can have a small ponytail#anyways just letting y'all know and when i finish watching the anime fingers crossed my dumbass brain will let me comprehend the manga#idk HOW i managed to comprehend the mha manga way back when but hopefully it'll work this time too#i have a feeling that a lot of the fandom is weighted towards the manga spoilers rather than the anime which is fair#also i THOUGHT crunchyroll had messed up bc i was sure i had three more episodes left of season one and i did#when i finished s2 ep1 it tried to make me watch s3 ep1 which like no thank you#so now im gonna have to go back and be confused rip
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