#CONRAD'S VLOGS

[suspicious-whumping-egg]

Rock Bottom Part 4: A Moneymakers AU

This series is based on the moneymakers series by @coldresolve! You can find part 1 of the AU series here. The last part of this chapter was inspired by this drawing by him and this post.

~~

Renee couldn’t help but feel that he was getting a taste of his own medicine. 

He hung from the low basement ceiling by his wrists, feet barely touching the floor, and watched as Corbin tied a bandana around his face, flicked on a bright spotlight that burned in Renee’s eyes, and positioned the camera. 

“Welcome back, my friends,” he said brightly, as if he was introducing a travel vlog rather than a snuff film. 

“As you can see today, we have a new… guest joining us today. It’s time to find out his niche.” 

He strode to the laptop, and in minutes, offers started rolling in. The desk was close enough that Renee could just barely make out the chat— and its placement was too precise to be unintentional. 

Four thousand bucks if Corbin will drug him up. Two thousand to whip him. One thousand for a good, old fashioned, brass-knuckled beating. Ten thousand to cut off a finger. 

His head spun, and he gasped for breath, barely realizing his breathing had become so shallow. He’d been hyperventilating, much to the amusement of whichever creeps were watching the stream. Probably the same ones who watched Conrad’s. 

It’d been different. It’d been for the money, the rush, the power, the outlet. Corbin just enjoyed watching people suffer. 

As if Renee never had. 

Corbin grinned at him, turned to the camera to give it a wink, then addressed Renee once more.

“You know what? I’m just gonna give it a few minutes before we get started. Let the audience get their offers in, and I’ll pick a few favorites.” 

The chat was rolling. 

WYV3RN: if that’s the case, fuck him right here for 20. take it or leave it. 

no_pain_no_gain: We haven’t gotten a vivisection in a while ;))) how much to see his guts? 

[redacted]: It’s his first time, let’s ease him into it with a whipping. I’ll up the offer to 2.5k.  

user_029473: Boring… but maybe if it’s wrapped in barbed wire? Five thousand. 

W3VYRN: at least strip him. five hundred.

user_638745: Nothing wrong with the classics. Waterboard him for 10. 

If Corbin did everything they asked at once, Renee wouldn’t last for more than a day. Maybe that’s why so many of the bloodstained cells were empty. 

Corbin sidled up to Renee and leaned into his laptop, an arm wrapping around his waist as he scrolled through the suggestions. 

“A barbed wire whipping? Can’t say that’s completely original, but it sounds like fun. And I’ve been in need of a new whipping boy. As for you, Wyvern, get your head out of the gutter.” 

Renee couldn’t help but sag in relief at Corbin’s denial of the most perverted request, although he knew he wasn’t in the clear yet. If Corbin was anything like him, he’d do anything if it had the right price tag. 

He turned to Renee without hesitation, pulling a black butterfly knife out of his pocket and flipping it open. 

“Do you want to hear what happened to my last one?” He said it as plainly as if the two were discussing the weather at a tea party. 

The basement grew silent, and Renee realized he actually wanted a response. 

“Not really,” he muttered, praying no one would recognize his voice from his own streams. He took in a shaky breath and forced his lips into an utterly fake half-grin that looked a lot more like a grimace. 

“Surprise me.” 

If there was anything he’d learned from Conrad, Renee knew a terrified, sobbing victim was much more fun than anything else. And he refused to give Corbin anything— reactions, views, money. Not if he could help it. 

Corbin whistled, sliding the tip of the blade under Renee’s shirt and splitting the fabric with one smooth, practiced motion. 

“Looks like someone’s excited to get started, hm?” 

Shit. If there was anything he knew about his own audience, the kinds of people who watched red rooms were creeps in ways more than one. He had to make himself human. Undaunted. But not masochistic. 

“Not remotely,” he snapped, trying not to shiver as cold air hit his bare skin. His hands shook for a cigarette, hard enough to rattle the chains around his wrists. Now it looked like he was trembling in hopeless panic. God, why hadn’t he tried to get one from Corbin before fucking it up and trying to attack him?  

“I just want to get it over with.” 

Corbin laughed. “Now that, I’m afraid, we can’t arrange. See, a private benefactor reached out to me shortly after you posted your… advertisement. And he’s offering me a generous sum if I run this session until you pass out. Although… I’ve thought of some ways to make it a bit more interesting. You could call them rewards, I suppose. If you behave, make yourself likable. That’s up to you.” 

He grabbed the handle of a whip and tugged it so the leather slithered ominously down from the rack to the floor, then dug around a drawer until he produced a length of barbed wire. 

“Feel free to queue up some more suggestions while I get this ready, I’m hoping to need plenty of them.” 

Renee squinted to read the chat, but Corbin spun the laptop to the side so he was now oblivious to the devious suggestions of the bloodthirsty audience. 

He talked aimlessly to the camera as he wrapped the whip, clearly one to love the sound of his own voice. 

“So, considering it’s a bit of a special episode today, I was thinking after we get a good variety of methods tested out, I’ll hold a group vote on what his… niche should be. Although considering his infamy on certain sides of the dark web, I’m not going to do anything too permanent. No cutting stuff off, doing what we did to poor Finn, anything like that. Wouldn’t wanna risk a mob of angry fans showing up to rip me apart, y’know? Sorry to disappoint, yeah, yeah. But that’s why we have the others. If we severely maimed them all, it wouldn’t be as fun when we did, would it?” 

He finished off the wire with a couple solid twists, then cracked the whip once in the air, testing its suppleness with the newly added restriction. 

“What do we think? Looks good? Should we make him count?” 

He turned to scroll in the chat, and what he found must have been good enough, because he stepped a few feet behind Renee and flashed a grin at the camera. 

“In that case, let’s get started. Crowd wants you to count, and I’ll tell you what— make it to thirty without messing up, and I’ll give you something from my stash. You’re addicted to cocaine, if I’m not mistaken? Just make it to twenty, and I’ll give you enough to take the edge off the withdrawal, how’s that sound? If you’re good enough, maybe I’ll make it ten.” 

Renee’s eyebrows raised ever so slightly at the mention of the drug, the mere hope that his lethargy might be relieved, and he nodded solemnly. He had to make it. There was no other option. 

“Perfect,” Corbin responded giddily. 

The crack of leather whistling through the air was the only warning he received for the first lash. The razors of the wire tattered a hot, furious stripe across his back, and Renee choked on the cry that forced itself from his lips. 

“One—” he gasped desperately. 

“Hmm…” Corbin murmured. “I’ll cut you some slack on the first one, but you’d better be louder than that from now on.” 

Crack. 

The force of the blow knocked the wind out of him, and he doubled over, tears springing from his eyes at the intensity of the pain ripping through him. 

“Aah— uh— two!” He barely managed to force the word out as he struggled to draw breath, rivulets of blood already beginning to run over his skin. 

Crack. 

The whip crossed the two previous lashes, blades tearing the other wounds deeper and cutting whatever untouched skin was left by his shoulder blades.  

“THREE!” He practically screeched it through the blinding agony that consumed him. 

By eight, his throat was raw from screaming, his face stained with tears as his blood began to run all the way to the cold cement floor. His back throbbed beyond belief, and he hung limp in the chains, unable to even stand through the agony. . 

His vision went white at twelve, as the strike wrapped the whip around his side, carving over his stomach. His scream turned into a broken sob, all thoughts of numbers retreating from his mind. There was only room for more pain. 

The space filled with Corbin’s gleeful laughter, and to Renee’s relief, the sound of the whip’s handle clattering to the floor. 

“Looks like he made it just past ten. Poor thing… I’ll have you know that my last whipping boy could take fifty of those without flinching by the time I was through with him.” 

Renee’s chest shook with sobs, both of relief and agony. He glanced at the floor and nausea clenched his gut to see so much of the concrete slick with his own blood. 

“P-probably ‘cause you destroyed the nerves by the third time you tried it,” he bit out, fury winning out over sense. 

Yet Corbin only grinned. “Looks like the pain put a little fight in ya. And it seems you’re quite the crowd pleaser. A 20k contribution without a request, just for how pretty you are when you cry— so you know what? I’ll meet you halfway.”

Renee’s sobs nearly returned with renewed vigor just from the relief that he might get what he do desperately needed. 

Corbin turned back to his supplies until he found a bag of the white powder Renee had been hoping for. 

“How about this? We hit two birds with one stone. A viewer asked to see you all cut up, and you’ve earned your fix. I’ve heard this works from the Internet, and you’re giving me the excuse to test it out.” Corbin gave a devious wink to the camera and pulled out his balisong once again. He flipped it between his fingers for a moment before circling Renee, looking for the best place to cut. 

He settled on his collarbone, and pressed the cold steel against the skin so dangerously close to Renee’s neck. 

“For science, tell me how it goes.” 

And with that, he drew a sharp line of pain right above Renee’s collarbone. Renee barely gasped, he was used to knives, and the pain was far less vicious than that of the whip. 

Corbin observed his reaction intently as he opened the bag of cocaine, shaking the tiniest bit over the cut. It stung as it met the wound, but the effects were nearly instant. Energy flooded Renee in mere seconds, and the world was as it should have been. It was enough to make him forget the bloody, twisted mass of flesh that used to be the skin of his back. 

But the feeling faded just as quickly, sending him crashing back to reality. Back to pain. 

He shuddered, tugging against the chains. 

“Please…” he whispered. 

He hated himself for it. He truly did. But this was a time when need surcompassed pride. 

“Just a little more…”

But of course, Corbin only flashed that wicked grin at him in return. 

“If you want more, you’ll have to earn it.” 

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

“The Dark Pictures Anthology” where it’s the same, but the casts are flipped around:

Man of Medan

Marine biology students Andrew, Angela, Taylor, and Daniel, along with their professor John, embark on a field trip on the Pacific Ocean as part of a class project. While exploring the ocean, the group comes across the long-lost WWII ship known as the Ourang Medan. At first, the group believes that they’re being haunted by the spirits of the vessel.

However, it’s later revealed that there was never a class project to begin with; in reality, lone fisherman Andrew Clarke stumbled on the ship and began hallucinating his dead family members. His family, who were all in the fishing industry, all died in a tragic accident that resulted in their ship sinking to the bottom of the ocean. Finding the Ourang Medan triggered Andrew’s traumatic memories, resulting in him hallucinating his family.

Later, Andrew Clarke comes across U.S. Coast Guardsman Vince, a family friend who was blamed for the Clarke family fishing trip accident.

Little Hope

Thrill seekers Brad, Alex, Julia, and Conrad visit the supposed ghost town of Little Hope. Despite warnings from park ranger Fliss, the group begins vlogging about their trip without respecting the sacredness of the land.

As night falls, the group begins seeing strange figures that may be connected to the ghosts of Little Hope. But before they can worry about the supposed ghosts lurking in the area, they encounter an actual threat when a group of violent criminals (Olson, Danny, Junior) take them hostage.

Later, it’s revealed that Little Hope was abandoned when miners stumbled across a strange mineral that emitted gases that caused violent hallucinations (based on the Centralia mine fire)

House of Ashes

War correspondents Kate, Mark, Erin, Jamie, and Charlie visit Baghdad a few days after the fall of Saddam Hussein. Eager to make headlines back in America, the war correspondents follow a group of U.S. Marines in a raid on a supposed site where Saddam’s weapons of mass destruction are being held.

Things go awry when the journalists find themselves in the middle of an attack by the Iraqi guard. To make matters worse, an earthquake splits the ground beneath them, sending the journalists into an underground, Sumerian temple. A temple that’s home to an ancient evil.

The Devil in Me

While on shore leave in Dubai, U.S. military personnel Eric, Rachel, Jason, and Nick, along with UAE soldier Salim, accept an invite by strange billionaire Dar Basri to his newly built mansion. Strangely enough, Basri is a superfan of America’s first serial killer, H.H. Holmes, and designed his luxurious mansion after Holmes’ infamous Murder Castle.

What starts out as a fun tour of a kooky billionaire’s mansion turns into a night of terror when Basri traps the five inside, subjecting them to various insidious booby traps and torture devices. It’ll take teamwork and wits to escape the new Murder Castle.

[somerandomg33k]

I just watch EposVox vlog video he posted today, "YouTube just isn't for creators like me anymore." And in the middle of it, he said, "YouTube would not be the place I would build my career on if I were to choose to start fresh now." Reminds me of something that was said on the Podquistion, Conrad Zimmerman said that once Twitch partner with a music label, they were promoting a lot of more big sponsored streams on the home page. Conrad commented that he doesn't know where is the place to be for independent creators can get discovered or grow their brand on the internet anymore. I think the dream of "I will be a big YouTuber," or "I will be a big Twitch streamer someday," are gone. Those days are no more. It is given me time to think about why I am on YouTube. And Twitch. And why I have this desire to be a "content" creator. I had a friend who's whole dream is to be a big streamer on Twitch. Or to at least be a big enough streamer to sustain themselves from streaming. Because if they don't become a big streamer, they have to get a regular job. Yea, working a regular job just sucks. They also want to prove to their parents that you can make a living being a big streamer. But they been at it for 8 years now. And are only around 1.1k followers on Twitch. I even tried to tell them, "I think the dream is dead."

But sadly, their whole mental well being is tied to their dream of being a big streamer. And facing the reality that it is very difficult to sustain yourself from streaming now, unless you were already a big streamer, you might as well stick to your regular job. Again, working sucks. Because of Capitalism is terrible in general. And I think so many of the problems of YouTube and Twitch now is because of Capitalism. And I don't know how anyone now can grow and gain success being an independent content creator now.

[wahlpaper]

Conventionally Yours Review

Conventionally Yours by Annabeth Albert - 5/5 - Gay New Adult RomCom

Sometimes we find the perfect book, the one that reads like it was written specifically for us. I experienced this feeling when I finally read Conventionally Yours by Annabeth Albert. Queer enemies-to-lovers, card game nerds on a road trip to a convention, mental health rep, and a Jewish romantic lead. I loved every word of this book and I'm looking forward to reading its spin-off and potentially other books that Albert has written. 

Conrad and Alden are known for being rival players of a game called "Odyssey" on the "Gamer Grandpa" vlog. Due to the vlog's popularity, the professor in charge scores tickets to a Vegas convention for all of his players. If any of them win the convention's tournament they'll have a chance to play in the pro tour. Conrad is close to homelessness and Alden is being forced to follow his parents' dream. A win could be good for either of them. On the road to Vegas, they'll push past the misconceptions they have of each other and realize they might like what they see.

...

Read More:

[lefeusacre-editions]

ELLIOT RODGER, ICARRIE, par Ulrich Conrad

"La Bête", le nouveau film de Bertrand Bonello sorti en salles le 07 février, fait remonter à la surface, dans l'une des époques que traverse son récit, un spectre vieux de dix ans : celui d'Elliot Rodger, l'adolescent responsable de la tuerie d'Isla Vista en mai 2014. L'occasion pour le Feu Sacré de revenir sur la dernière vidéo postée par le tueur juste avant sa virée sanglante. Portrait et analyse de ce Carrie au masculin.

Assis confortablement au volant de son coupé BMW 328i noire, funeste studio motorisé de ses vlogs en série, Black Maria de 193 chevaux au point mort, garée en ce 22 mai 2014 face à la plage de Santa Barbara, Californie, où il attend que le soleil finisse de s’évanouir derrière l’horizon, Elliot Rodger enclenche la prise de vue sur l’écran tactile de son iPhone dernier cri qu’il vient de poser sur le tableau de bord. Venait-il de répéter dans les grandes lignes les principaux points de son oraison filmique avant de lancer l’enregistrement ? Ou bien avait-il si religieusement potassé son script, My Twisted World, ce « manifesto » mis en ligne dix minutes avant son carnage (141 pages de démence misogyne), qu’il avait toute confiance en le flonflon de son flow erratique d’improvisateur guindé et maladroit ?

Pour son dernier pr��che, l’image full HD restera légèrement floue : décidément sa patte visuelle – son volant en amorce ayant toujours déréglé la mise au point automatique de l’appareil. Son ultime trouvaille de mise en scène, logique pour ce spectateur privilégié et complaisant de son propre malheur de gosse de riche : un crépuscule dorée digne d’un spotlight géant d’Hollywood – où son père travaille, du reste – qui, à travers le pare-brise, surcadre et irradie le visage de l’adolescent, qui a dû penser, cette veille de son passage à l’acte, que le soleil complice et révérencieux s’éclipsait juste avant lui.

Les ombres des voitures et des passants au loin qui se projettent sur sa bouille de mauvais acteur arrogant forment un obturateur urbain intermittent du plus somptueux effet, épousant son tempo particulier : lent, serein, souverain. Le dispositif de sa vidéo (lui en pleine lumière, les autres réduits à des silhouettes noires) ne laisse plus aucun doute : jusque dans sa résolution meurtrière, Rodger aura infléchi le paysage à ses soliloques de grand prince charmant psychotique. Il aura été au bout de cette victimisation de l’homme bon, doux, raffiné, aimant et oublié qu’il s’ingéniait à modeler ; au bout du revers brutal de son romantisme pleurnichard et châtié qui, arrivé à bout de patience, sera celui du châtiment sans pitié : Elliot Rodger’s Retribution, intitulera-t-il son pamphlet. Sept minutes de monologue sur fond orangé, réitérant l’incompréhension dont il dit avoir été l’objet depuis de trop nombreuses années, et qui devaient l’amener à la nuit rouge et sanglante d’Isla Vista où il fera parler la poudre. Roger, Elliot Rodger !

Ce retournement, seul un homme pathologiquement esseulé en était capable, pour qui son monde, LE monde, pour lui permettre un temps d’y subsister, et au final de lui donner la force de faire périr ses semblables, devait lui donner l’impression qu’il ne tournait que pour lui. S’il s’était détesté avec une répugnance aussi farouche que celle qu’il vouait à la terre entière, il n’aurait jamais commis ses crimes. Contrairement à ce qu’il n’a eu de cesse d’haranguer, ce n’est pas sa haine incommensurable des autres qui lui a fait prendre les armes, mais bien son amour immodéré de lui-même. En marge des coups de feu tirés au hasard au volant de son corbillard bling-bling, de sa mission punitive à la sorority house de l’Université, sa Christine entre les mains, il percutera une dizaines de piétons, de cyclistes, de skateboarders, avec la même inconséquence aveuglée d’ego divin qu’un joueur de GTA. « Well, now I will be a god compared to you, you will all be animals », disait-il d’ailleurs au climax de son selfie d’adieu.

Comme toutes les vidéos qu’il avait publiées jusqu’ici sur sa chaîne YouTube, il avait commencé son laïus plaintif par un sempiternel : « Hi, Elliot Rodger here ! » – sorte de « This is the Zodiac speaking » du tueur anonyme le plus célèbre du nord de la Californie – puis, comme souvent là aussi, ce fut la beauté toxique du monde environnant qui l’avait incité d’abord hypocritement à ouvrir la bouche. Un panorama luxuriant, au choix, d’un parking VIP, d’une vallée, de son quartier, d’un cour de golf, d’un parc ou d’un coucher de soleil – parfois un délicieux vanilla latte de Starbucks en main, et une paire de lunettes Giorgio Armani, elle, invariablement accrochée au col de sa chemise. En une dizaine de complaintes filmées, Rodger a circonscrit la topographie paradisiaque de son grand alibi.

Car son excuse, bien qu’il n’en fit mention nulle part, c’était donc justement son train de vie d’enfant de star pourri gâté qu’il étalait à tout bout de champ. Il faut avoir vu le contenu de son compte Facebook (depuis clôturé) : un autel mégalo et clinquant asphyxiant ; une pornographie narcissique et huppée débridée. Dans son esprit, ce devait être parce qu’il ne lui manquait strictement rien qu’il pouvait alors légitimement s’ériger avec intransigeance et sévérité en chantre du manque, faire de l’amour son caprice suprême ; et parce que sa vie de rêve n’intéressait personne voudra-t-il transformer celle des autres en un cauchemar macabre. Que les autres puissent s’accommoder de vivre sans lui, voilà sans doute ce qu’il leur enviait tant, ce qui lui était invivable – ce qu’il appelait à tour de spleens vidéographiés « a better life ». « Indeed, a too much wonderful life ! » Un scénario digne de Capra filtré par le prisme du ressentiment, ce film préféré des fêtes de Noël aux États-Unis dans lequel un homme sur le point d’en finir (interprété par James Stewart) se voit offrir l’opportunité d’assister à la vie de ses amis s’il n’était pas né. La chance du premier devint l’injustice du second ; le miracle de l’individu, un individualisme destructeur. Au renoncement à la suppression du personnage de Stewart se substitua l’imposition violente de Rodger. L’hiver new-yorkais fit place aux vents chauds de la côte ouest. A l’ombre des palmiers s’écrivait un nouveau chapitre du mariage du Ciel et de l’Enfer…

Son drôle de biopic est dorénavant un spectre qui hante depuis maintenant dix ans les tréfonds de la grande Toile – son compte YouTube ayant été conservé, amputé seulement de son apothéose ; un film éculé, rébarbatif, segmenté en séquences brouillonnes et pseudo-méditatives, encadré par deux ponants, laissant à loisir de se replonger en boucle dans cette tournée d’adieu d’éphèbe gâteux, de son improvisation sans pudeur à l’improviste de son geste criminel. Un mélo soigné qui doit son carton post-mortem à son dénouement bâclé, amateur et suicidaire.

La seule compagnie que l’on a pu croiser dans l’une des vignettes de son ego-trip, c’était celle de son demi-frère : Jazz. iPhone à la main, il le suivit occupé à dessiner au sol avec un bout de roche calcaire du haut d’une colline surplombant leur quartier, l’Overlook (sic !), puis, sur son consentement, à jeter l’ustensile rudimentaire en direction des habitations. On entend qu’il lui parle, sans que l’on puisse toutefois distinguer ses mots, le vent qui soufflait en rafale ce jour-là faisant crépiter la membrane du micro intégré de son portable, tel un bruitage naturel et modulable de mitraillette semi-automatique sur cette toile d’ennui pavillonnaire, rendant quasi-inaudible ce moment intime d’une exception, du coup, presque douteuse. Jazz s’éloignait et Elliot le laissait partir dans le fond du plan, panoramiquant plein cadre vers le soleil au zénith au-dessus d’eux pendant une poignée de secondes avant, ébloui et les pixels grillés, d’interrompre la prise. Un malaise sourd, depuis, en revoyant les images… Peut-être ses allers-retours rapides de caméra subjective sur le paysage… Réflexe de tueur inquiet d’être épié… Un côté Hitchcock à la petite semelle : la scène dans Soupçons où Cary Grant veut faire admirer le récif vertigineux (où, endetté, il planifie en réalité de s'y jeter en voiture) à une Joan Fontaine déjà bien suspicieuse… Et ce Icare, n’aimant pas les happy-ends, de confirmer plus tard sur son laptop, dans son mémoire, qu’il prévoyait effectivement après la tuerie de supprimer ce concurrent qui, un jour ou l’autre, lui aurait fait de l’ombre.

S’il prétendait diriger sa vindicte sur tout ce qui l’entourait, le cercle gynophobe étroit de Rodger avait bien un centre, un foyer où bouillait en silence sa rage revancharde, une fillette de dix ans à l’époque qui, à ses yeux, se sera rendue bien plus coupable qu’il ne se le rendra lui-même : il s’agit d’une certaine Monette Moio, mannequin dont le père, comme le sien, officie également à Hollywood. Son père, Peter Rodger, réalisateur de seconde équipe sur le premier volet de la série Hunger Games, en a filmé des ados et leur compétition féroce déguisée en fable bien proprette, leur âme de matamore prête à tout édulcorer en jeu de cirque insurrectionnel. L’élève a dépassé le maître. Le fils a dépassé le père. Et les monstres égotistes, s’ils font une priorité absolue (et impossible à assouvir) qu’on les aime plus qu’ils ne s’aiment déjà eux-mêmes, ne sont en revanche jamais avares d’imputer la faute de leur monstruosité à ceux qu’ils désignent comme plus monstrueux qu’eux. Le véritable monstre est d'abord un incurable irresponsable. C’est pourquoi tout ce qui est innocent lui retourne les tripes. L’innocence est une humiliation qu’il reçoit comme une moquerie indélébile, une provocation permanente. La rivalité entre Rodger et les femmes découle de ce schéma-là. Avec sa peau lisse, l’orbe poupin de son faciès, ses lèvres charnues, à la croisée des genres et des sexes, imberbe comme une fille, combien il devait lui être extatiquement insupportable de contempler son visage dans la glace ! Que cherchait-il en le scrutant et le photographiant sous tous les angles pour ensuite l’archiver minutieusement ? L’horreur de l’hormone… Ce miroir qui devait lui renvoyer une image en creux de l’ennemi et qu’il portait sur sa figure comme une filiation irréversible. La Mort qui prend la relève de la puberté pour lui façonner son masque orgueilleux et psychopathe de minet efféminé. Cette Mort qui travaillait à le faire ressembler à ce qu’il détestait. Si « awesome », « magnificent », « sophisticated », « superior » ! Ce sera son verdict… Le brun corbeau comme couleur de l’eugénisme chic ! Toutes ces blondes crâneuses, pulpeuses, superficielles et grotesques de Californie… Lui aussi, l’« alpha male », revendiquait au fond le droit à être une pétasse comme les autres ! « Quick, un Glock 34, un SIG Sauer P226 pour me refaire une beauté ! » COUIC ! Plus fleur bleu que ces fleurs du Mal dont le soleil semble être passé dans les cheveux, qui lui faisaient dresser la tige ; la reine de bal a toujours une cartouche supplémentaire à jouer, il faut le savoir désormais, dans la chambre de son flingue 9 mm… « Elle m’aime un peu, beaucoup, passionnément, à la folie, pas du tout… PAN ! »

Pour la postérité, ce bully badigeonna de jaune son dernier autoportrait, à mi-chemin entre un fond de teint à la carotène de soleil trop mûr et un Bonnard effrayant. Il avait dû préparer toute la journée, encore et encore, son petit rire démoniaque, sa marque de fabrique surjouée qu’il se plaisait à glisser en conclusion de ses punchlines les plus aguerries. Assurément, son rictus stylé devait toujours se lire sur son visage quand on retrouva sa gueule de puceau angélique étalé sur le revêtement pur cuir de son auto cabossée. Le sang avait remplacé la feuille d’or. Les cavalières ne dansaient plus mais gisaient sur le sol. La palabre s’était finalement interrompue. Ce soir-là, la drague avait été mortelle.

Elliot Rodger, ça aura été Carrie au pays du Spring Break.

Illustrations : Guillemette Monchy.

[krisplaysims]

The cousins all get together for a group picture. Despite being pictured next to each other, Betty and Kendra are not currently speaking due to Kendra having an affair with Betty's husband.

Despite this, Betty and her husband, Karl, make it work and welcome two beautiful children into the world: Conrad and Kailyn Watts. Conrad graduated high school, then moved in with his girlfriend who he gets pregnant. They later get engaged.

Kailyn discovers her pregnancy the day before prom. At the after party, she tells her boyfriend she's pregnant, and despite the two of them not wanting children right now, they elope and agree to raise the kids together. They move into his mansion in Del Sol Valley and prepare for the birth of their TRIPLETS, Tyler, Helena, and Landon.

The triplets come into their personalities: Tyler, a hot-headed athlete who strives to be the best at everything, Helena, a rather snobbish princess of the family with goals to have her name in lights, and Landon, the shy brainiac who lead the pattern of all triplets graduating high school early.

Landon earned a distinguished degree in Biology at the University of Foxbury, where he aims to be a doctor. Tyler opted to skip university, focusing on body building at home until he can enter his desire career field. Helena, awaiting the results of her application, plans to pursue drama and become a famous actress, with the vlogs she's been making since childhood giving her a good head start.

Upon growing up and graduating from respective schools and fields, Helena moved to a San Myshuno penthouse where she pursued acting. Landon moved into a cozy bungalow in Brindleton Bay where he works as a surgeon, and nearby Retirement Village where Kailyn moved into early.

She moved to allow Tyler to take over the Del Sol mansion as his girlfriend, Angel, gave birth to triplets: Zachary, Xavier, and Skyler Watts. Being joined by his daughter, Ellie, from a previous relationship, the two have turned the east wing of the house back into a massive nursery for their bundles of joy to grow, play, and learn.

[jwzyreviews]

Book Review: "Conventionally Yours." By Annabeth Albert

It’s been a few months since I embarked on this journey of reading and collecting books within the LGBTQ+ realm. After reading and adding books like “Something like Summer”, “All That’s Left In The World '' and “Kamikaze Boys' to my list of my favorite books, I was eager to find another to add to my list.  Furthermore, after diving into the impeccable storytelling from Erik J. Brown and Jay Bell, once again my expectations were set high. “Conventionally Yours'' By Annabeth Chase knocked my expectations out of the park by completely revitalizing the Enemies to Lovers trope with a charming story that keeps you on your toes, dazzling well-written characters that you can’t help but fall for, all while incorporating elements of fantasy and card-gaming lore into a love story that was a thrill to read.

The plot of Conventionally Yours revolves around two college students, Conrad Stewart and Aldon Roth, who are complete opposites in everything from style, demeanor, and public perception. Conrad is a struggling college student, who’s family life is torn due to his sexuality. Not only is he cut off financially (even from the family medical insurance, thus not allowing him to get his inhaler), but as well as physically and emotionally as his father prohibits him from seeing or contacting his younger sister, Cassie. To add insult to injury, his mother remains complicit throughout this ordeal, not stopping or standing up to his father’s punishment.  He does a great job at hiding the inner turmoil and isolation, using humor, his countless dead-end jobs, and numerous sexual relations as a way to cope, earning him a reputation as promiscuous and as a jokester. On the contrary, you have shy and reserved, or “prude” as he is described socially, Alden Roth. Alden is the son of two lesbian doctors, who are also profound professors who work at the same university that he attends. Though anyone can understand how impressive it is to have two doctors as parents, throughout the novel, it is shown that the intense pressure that is pushed upon Alden regarding his future and his career is the reason why he is so meek. In addition to being shy and reserved, he has a hard time not only standing up for himself, but simply a hard time expressing what he wants, choosing to buckle down and tolerate the constant berating from his mothers, even when they threaten to kick him out from the detached backhouse that he lives in if he doesn’t give them a 5 year plan for when he completes college. 

Now why the reader may wonder, “How can two people who are so different end up falling in love?” I had the same question when I first started reading, but as the story progressed, the answer became more and more clear. Conrad and Alden were able to bond from the one thing they had in common, their love for the fictional card game, Odyssey. They are also both members of Gamer Grandpa, a vlog channel run by their college professor. Despite using their common love and respect for the card game Odyssey to deal with the problems from their respective lives, they have both cultivated an intense rivalry that is quite well known not only to the members of the gaming club, but even to the viewers of their vlogging channel. Furthermore, when an opportunity that can not only help the club but can help solve their personal problems, we are taken through a journey of not only self-discovery, but a journey of discovering and understanding others, and loving them through what makes them different. 

One of the themes I got from this novel is that you never know what somebody is going through, and that sometimes the way people act outwardly is not a definite answer of who they are. It may be a cliche idea, but I believe that this book really expands on this idea in a fun and interesting way. As stated before, Alden and Conrad are known to not like each other, but no one ever really understood why. Yes, their personalities were different, and one can opt to say that some people just don’t mix, but in this case, they never really knew anything personally about each other. Similar to the themes of Jay Bell’s “Kamikaze Boys,” people can create their own ideas of people, with the help of rumors and/or people around you. Yet, once you really get to know a person, you truly see them for who they are. Once Conrad actually spoke to Alden, listening to him for the first time with an open mind, he stated that “This was more talking than we’d done in the three years that we’d been around each other, and getting to know Alden, to have him be a complicated person than just an annoying rival, was a development I wasn’t sure I was ready for. (Ch.11, p.87). Using words like complicated really helped me understand the transition from rivals to unlikely friends, and it made me understand Alden a little bit more. I had the same picture of Alden as Conrad when I first began reading, but hearing Alden explain his emotions and his feelings for the first time in a communicative way, I understood that he was more emotionally complicated than most, and he even understood that, resulting in his demeanor. This is one of the many instances where they began to really understand each other, but my favorite parts of this book came once the romantic feelings began to take center stage. 

The reason why I love this book so much is the slow progression of the romantic relationship between Conrad and Alden. From Conrad explaining his family situation and getting the support from Alden, and from Alden explaining the anxiety he feels around making life decisions under the pressure of his moms and having Conrad be the one to help him gain confidence to make his own decisions, these two began to connect on a emotional level, trickling into them connecting on a physical and romantic level. One of my favorite moments was when Conrad fully explained his family situation to Alden, and after hearing Alden comfort him, he says, “Him understanding was everything right then, everything I'd been craving for a year and not even realizing how much I needed to tell someone and be heard. Be understood…” (Ch.19. p.166). My heart was in my throat when they first had their first kiss, years of misunderstanding bubbling over, to result in them finally becoming one. After finally kissing Conrad after expressing how much he wanted to hate him when he instead liked him so much, Alden paints the most expressive picture of kissing Conrad for the first time, saying “The hitch in my heartbeat at the slightest increase the pressure of his mouth. The sigh in my soul, a knee-melting feeling of absolute, utter rightness.” Beyond the physical, what really struck me is how much they end up caring for each other once they cross that line. Over the course of the trip after they reveal their feelings for each other, Conrad expresses how he doesn’t want to treat Alden like a one-night stand, or as a hook-up. He treats him with kindness and respect, loving him through his insecurities and his issues, and vice versa. The way they went from enemies to lovers, and the transition was remarkable, the way they depend on each other and help one another was so heartwarming. 

 I really appreciated the build-up and change of this relationship. Annabeath Albert truly wrote THE HELL out of this book. The imagery, the expressions and words she uses were genius. My favorite character of the two is Conrad, and I liked his character more so because of his humorous nature, and even more so because of sensual nature when it came to Alden. One of my favorite quotes from the book is when Conrad and Alden kiss for the second time, a little more intense than the first, and he says “He tasted sweet, as I’d known he would, but not cloying like candy. Rather more elusive and addictive, something unique to him that drove me crazy wanting more of it… Figuring out what my buttoned-up control freak was both fun and a revelation….(Ch.23 p.199,). The way she writes these characters and their dynamic made them officially becoming a couple much more satisfying. Though the build-up to it is quite a journey, the way that they are written, their actions and how they care for each other was something I really liked. By the end of the book, the passion that they felt for each other, the way they both wanted the opposite person to win the tournament, even it meant their life falling apart once they returned home was truly a tear-jerker. The game that they loved so much fell backseat to their love for each other, and that was such a pleasure to realize considering how much Odyssey was a force in their respective lives. They both loved this game, and both wanted to win the tournament, but they truly only cared if the other person was happy, which was the cherry on top for me and my feelings!

All in All, this book was a great read. Through all of the books I have read so far, this is probably one of the best relationships, or one that I loved the most. From David and Connor, to Tim and Ben, to Andrew and Jamieson, Conrad and Alden ended up being my favorite couple (hmmm maybe!). I love reading about them, their personal stories, their growth over the course of the book, their love for each other, their dedication to each other, everything about this story and how it was written was perfect. Despite being a slow burn, I enjoyed reading through it because I believe that it was worth it in the end. Annabeth gave you enough to let you know that progress was being made, but not alot to where the story gave out too early. Overall, I would highly suggest reading this book! 

Rating: 17/20 

Story/Plot 4/5

Characters/Character Development 5/5

Writing 5/5

Length/Pacing ⅗

Would I re-read this book? YES!

[shotbyshe]

Y’all Remember THE HILLS?!

// this is my November vlog 

// I ended this video like a "The Hills" episode, lol.

[fipindustries]

Creative Masterpost

i decided to recompile all my creative endeavors for ease of reference and as a quick presentation card to anyone who discovers me and might want to know more of the bullshit i get up to.

in here you’ll find DRAWINGS, VIDEOS, WRITING and even MUSIC!

DRAWINGS

*Unbeknownst to men.

you can visit the native art blog i have on this website with an unpronouncable name because back hen i was more concerned with cultivating an aesthetic than a brand and i still am! some interesting tags to look for specifically on this blog: Animation, comic, fanart,4chan,OC.

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*Disregarding reality

within this very same website you can also go to my semi abandoned webcomic, a project that i somehow managed to keep alive for three years and where i’ll still very occassionally dump a new quick comic that the muses dropped on my head. i would reccomend to focus on the Story Arcs tab in that blog as the most effective way to navigate that comic since many of the links are broken ever since the titty ban of 2018. and if that fails as well there is always the archive

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*Instagram

finally, if you want a slicker, more modern, more distilled and in line with modern social networks experience, i do have an instagram, purely for art and maybe the occassional ego boosting photo

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*4chan

a repository, made by some kind anon, collecting all my works that i made for the 4chan tan project where each board in 4chan gets an antropomorphic representation/character/avatar. i focused exclusively on /co/  the comics and cartoons board, also known as Conrad. WARNING: it is 4chan so, yeah, there is a lot of ugly stuff there and i think someone misgendered me there but it is the solely existing repository of those works i did (most of which i was convinced were lost) so you take the good with the bad.

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id be remiss not to cap off this section with a link to my comission info if after seeing all this you decide you want some of this for your own, shaped to your particular needs and demands. im essentially always free to work on something, im am punctillious about my work and i deliver reasonably fast, depending on how much work i might have at a given time which is never too much.

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VIDEO

*Youtube

my youtube channel filled with miscellaneous projects, demo reels, vlogs, stream VODs, animations and weird in-jokes.

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*Jennyffer

more specifically in youtube, if you want to cut the fat you can go watch this small comedy mini series of animatics about a teenage transgirl dealing with the problems of being out and proud in her own unique shitty way

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WRITING

*Archive of Our Own

the main repository of any literary fiction i create. For the most part composed of original works. there is only one finished novel there, a bunch of incomplete ones, a bunch of short stories and three pieces of fan fiction regarding Steven universe, Ward and Pale

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*Writing

mainly my non-fic thoughts on the art of literary creation. it is rich of me to believe i have anything to contribute considering i never published anything and i barely managed to finish two novels and a couple of novellas, all of the shitty but hey, i like to consider myself an insightful person and one does not need to be a chef to talk about their favourite dishes.

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MUSIC

*Music

a basic dump of the stumbling steps i made on the world of musical creation, mainly acapella works of original musical ideas i came up with or silly mashups that i thought were funny. there is a lot of extraneous garbage here, works from other artists that i liked, bad jokes and shitpost and i am still incredibly proud of all of it.

[whatintheeverlovingfucketh]

January 2022 Book Review

My Official Book Rating Scale:

1 - Garbage, honestly painful, no thank you.

2 - Bad, won’t read again if I can help it. Boring and cringe.

3 - Not very good, maybe a few enjoyable moments, but still bland.

4 - Okay, not bad or totally unenjoyable but can definitely be improved. Maybe re-read.

5 - Completely average. Nothing life changing.

6 - Good! enjoyable, but nothing overly spectacular.

7 - Great, will definitely read again.

8 - Wonderful, very few rough spots, a good time.

9 - Fantastic, I loved it!

10 - A MASTERPIECE! Captivating, brilliant, a work of art *chef’s kiss*

*any half points are decided by vibes / not fitting fully into one category*

All of my reviews include:

- book title and author

- the date the book was read (if it is marked * that indicates that I have read this book in the past)

- my numerical rating from the scale above

- a summary of the plot from google and the genre of the book

- a small reflection that was written immediately after finishing reading the book 

Conventionally Yours - Annabeth Albert (05/01/2022) 6.5/10

Two young men fall in love on a road trip to Las Vegas for a gaming convention. Conrad Stewart and Alden Roth's rivalry has made them the stars of a gaming vlog about a card game called Odyssey. (LGBT fiction)

Cute, but a little hard to take seriously, young adults playing and fighting over a fantasy card game, and every kind of representation I can list in 30 seconds takes you out of it a little bit, otherwise, good :)

This is Kind of an Epic Love Story - Kacen Callender (06/01/2022) 6/10

A fresh, charming rom-com about Nathan Bird, who has sworn off happy endings but is sorely tested when his former best friend, Ollie, moves back to town. Nathan Bird doesn't believe in happy endings. (YA Fiction)

The title is misleading. A sweet story, and good representation, however a little frustrating. Constant written descriptions of a visual language feel excessive and unhelpful, especially without other cues as to the context, or translations. This is a critique of the writing, not the story. Other than that, good!

Say What You Will - Cammie McGovern (12/01/2022) 9/10

Say What You Will is a heartfelt story about two teens who each have different challenges to overcome as they navigate the difficulties of senior year. Born with cerebral palsy, Amy can't walk without a walker, talk without a voice box, or even fully control her facial expressions.(Fiction)

Wow. wow, wow. What an incredible story, unique, interesting and full of unexpected twists. Beautiful and really entertaining. I thought I was going to cry by the end, but I didn’t at all, it was a different kind of emotional. I loved it.

Late to the Party - Kelly Quindlen (14/01/2022) 10/10

From author Kelly Quindlen comes a poignant and deeply relatable story about friendship, self-acceptance, and what it means to be a Real Teenager. Late to the Party is an ode to late bloomers and wallflowers everywhere. Seventeen is nothing like Codi Teller imagined.(YA Fiction)

Beyond incredible. I loved the dynamics of each relationship, and the passing of time. It was so fluid, and relatable, funny and exciting. I want to have friends like that someday. I cried like two tears at the last page. Truly a beautiful story.

Invisible Ghosts - Robyn Schneider (16/01/2022) 8/10

In Invisible Ghosts, Rose Asher is grappling with grief and guilt five years after her brother Logan's death. She's also dealing with his ghost every day when she gets home from school. It's a secret she can't share with anyone, because she's not sure whether the ghost is real or in her head. (Fiction, Ghost story, Romance)

Really unique plot! Really funny and relatable, (the high school / social interaction part, not the dead ghost brother part lol) Also very realistic “deliberately blurry snapchat”. A lot of “aww’s” :)

*Calling Maggie May - Anonymous (19/01/2022) 9/10

A dark and edgy first-person cautionary tale about how one girl's seemingly minor choices quickly spiraled into a life as a sex worker in the tradition of Go Ask Alice and Lucy in the Sky. She had a normal life, until one small decision changed everything. Suddenly, there were new possibilities and new experiences. (YA fiction, diary fiction)

Incredibly intriguing, a bit disturbing. It feels weird to say that I enjoyed reading a book about a 16 year old girl going into prostitution, but it's a fascinating story. It took me about 2 hours to read. I'm curious if it's because this is a short book, or because each sentence draws you in more than the last.

*The Book Of David - Anonymous (20/01/2022) 8.5/10

Texas high school senior and quarterback David has a secret no one can discover. Forced by his English teacher to keep a journal in which he writes for 10 minutes, three times a week, David chronicles his innermost secret: his attraction to men.( YA fiction)

Exciting. Although it was a very typical "closeted jock with religious parents" story, the perspective of a private journal made it a very interesting read. I really enjoyed it!

The Beauty That Remains - Ashley Woodfolk (25/01/2022) 10/10

Music brought Autumn, Shay, and Logan together. Death wants to tear them apart. But when tragedy strikes each of them, somehow music is no longer enough. Now Logan can’t stop watching vlogs of his dead ex-boyfriend. Shay is a music blogger struggling to keep it together. And Autumn sends messages that she knows can never be answered. (YA fiction, LGBT, Mental health)

Wow. when I read the tagline I was expecting a cheesy story about a song making people come together in a cliché way. This was so not that. It was an incredibly beautiful and complex story about grief, loss, friendship, and mental health. It was truly wonderful.

[ladynahualli]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by ladynahualli💣 (@ladynahualli)

Here's another collaboration with my ex band members.  ------------------------------------------------- Produced by 欠落 (Miami) Mixing & Mastering Jan Conrad (Germany)  Lyrics & Vocals Lady Nahualli (The Caribbean)  Graphic designer @killatrippinblaze I will do a video vlog about the creative process behind this track later on. Link in bio to listen to the full track ´Goth Angels’ on Soundcloud.  #acidgraphics #chrometype #digitalarchive #visualgraphc #upcomingrappers  #rappersofinstagram #softcore #fairycore #angelcore #softgrunge #angelaesthetic  #holographic #gothicgirl #metalgirl #emorap #trapmetal #soundcloud #soundcloudrappers  #newmusicalert #numetal (at Miami, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNjGY-ajT-o/?igshid=yqoknowxcm27

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

An egg-cellent day for an adventure

It's another fun filled day of baking sweet treats at the camp as we've got a surplus of eggs to use up. Good thing Emilia decided to drop by along with her daughter Michele Toni for a well deserved mother-daughter weekend. I was hoping for the day when Emilia would stop by for a visit and now she's here!

(Psstt... Andrea, Selene, Paget, Lena, Rini, Malka, Kate, Annie, and Luciana- camp's open all year round for visitors so if you can, come on over!)

Along with collecting eggs scattered across the camp and making baked goods, Emilia's also filming a travel-style vlog for her channel Emilia Eats. She mainly does recipe videos with an occasional vlog, something she's been doing for about ten years now. Along with making videos Emilia runs a local catering company of the same name.

I've always loved Emilia's cooking and baking - it's one of the many things I look forward to when I visit home - second to my mom's, of course. Also I love her videos as she's got a sweet personality that makes me feel enthusiastic about baking. I've saved a lot of her recipes for reference and sometimes I just like watching her videos just to see old friends like Serena, Tony, and Michele.

I'm glad to see Emilia in a much better place. We caught up a bit at the wedding, where I got to know Michele Toni a bit more as well as catch up with her dad. The past few years have been rough on them but now it looks like things are finally settling down for Emilia and Mr. Phillips.

Little Michele Toni's so cute, she's almost like a mini-me of Emilia. Hard to believe she's a toddler now and it's so cute seeing her take an interest in baking! I always love seeing her "cooking" alongside her mom in various videos.

Around the time before Michele Toni was born, Emilia was going through a rough time. Up until then, the Phillips-Conrad family were a happy bunch. The family had a bit of unwanted publicity as Mr. Phillips was, and still is, a big name in town, so the fact that he, a white man, adopted two young black girls was something the media wanted to dig up dirt on. Truth is, there was nothing to stir up - Emilia and Michele's mom and Mr. Phillips were good friends and he was always like a father figure to the girls. Both didn't have much living family so they assigned each other as godparents to their kids.

For years they were a happy family - Emilia, Tony, and Michele. Tony was the one who helped Emilia get started with her channel, teaching her how to film and edit videos as well as get more views. Michele was the one who helped Emilia come up with recipe ideas and in the videos where she's featured, the two would often talk about their mom. Emilia always spoke fondly of her as did Tony while Michele would listen intently when the two told stories of the past. Those videos are always bittersweet to watch, especially now that Tony and Michele are gone.

Things changed when Tony went off to college, traveling abroad and rarely coming home. Michele also went abroad and later got caught up in a hectic, stressful lifestyle, leaving Emilia in Rosevine balancing her life as a baker and a Galaxy Fighter. We all had a feeling that Tony and Michele were going to leave while Emilia stayed so it was expected that the three would go their separate ways. They were still a close knit family though - none of us suspected that something was wrong.

The deaths of Tony and Michele were a huge shock to the community. Both were struggling with alcoholism and drug addiction as their lives took a toll on them. Tony died from a drug overdose and Michele drove off a bridge, both were at their lowest point due to unlucky breaks. Then months later Serena died in the Crystal Shadow War so in that time span Emilia lost her siblings and best friend.

It was a difficult time for everyone. I was also going through some rough patches myself so you can imagine how bad it was. Pretty much everyone I knew from home was going through a terrible time because the universe somehow decided to be a dick and throw all these tragedies at us.

Thankfully, those days are behind us. Months later I opened the camp, Emilia and the other Galaxy Fighters had their spirit revived thanks to a band of adventurers - I guess you can say the darkest hour is just before dawn. Not everything's perfect right now, but we're all doing a lot better, and that's what matters.

Along with some new friends sort of turning Rosevine upside down, Emilia was in for another unexpected turn. Not too long after Serena's death, Emilia started seeing some guy who wasn't good for her. Then Michele Toni was born and she was probably the best thing to ever happen for her mom and grandpa in light of the tragedies that plagued them. It wasn't until last year when Michele Toni made appearances on Emilia's channel and stole the show. Seeing the two of them bake together makes me so happy - and I'm glad that Emilia finally feels comfortable embracing her role as a mom.

Michele Toni had a lot of fun bringing us eggs she found while exploring the camp, her favorite place being the beach. Emilia says her favorite hangout spot is Sunburst Island because it reminds her of her family's summer home in Watercolor Vineyards. I've never been there but from how she, Tony, and Michele described it, the island sounds beautiful!

While sightseeing and scavenging for eggs, Emilia filmed for her vlog and caught me and Daisy Jane  up on everything that's been going on at home. Selene, Arianne, and Vitoria are up to the usual, their latest adventure happened to be with Team Magic involving smoke screens, zombies, and frozen tidal waves. Kate's got a big tennis match coming up while Malka has a concert in a couple weeks. Rini and her grandma are doing well, running the shrine as usual and planning for their yearly spring trip to Tranquility Falls. Lena and Annie are busy at the hospital saving lives and helping others. Paget's doing all right, holding her own, taking it one day at a time. Andrea and Robin are doing their best too, keeping up with Selene and the others. Luciana's checking in on everyone as usual, coming to the rescue in the nick of time.

Hunting for eggs was a lot of fun! Emilia showed off her powers a little for the campers. As a Galaxy Fighter, she's Guardian Cyclone and her powers involve manipulating air into wind, creating powerful blasts that can be as strong as a hurricane. Since a good batch of the eggs are in hard to reach places (Why, Zipper, why?), it's a good thing we have Emilia here to help her out because she's currently the tallest person here right now, she's an agile climber, and can use her powers to drop eggs that are impossible to reach. In a stroke of luck, not a single egg was broken - and we were kinda rough with them.

Once we were satisfied with the amount of eggs we collected (maybe not satisfied but you can only collect so many eggs before you get annoyed by them popping up everywhere you go), it's time to get cooking! For savory dishes we made a bunch of quiches to put many of the eggs to good use and so we can freeze them for later. We made a bunch of different kinds - spinach and feta, four cheese, kimchi, salmon and cream cheese, shakshouka, garden veggies, sausage - it's a good thing we labeled everything! Of course, we used Emilia's trusty old recipe for a buttery, flaky crust that's not only delicious, but easy to make and freezes well.

The desserts was where we went all out. I happened to score a nice bargain with a barrel full of perfect peaches so we made a lovely pie with those. Daisy Jane taught us how to make egg tarts, a sweet treat I haven't had in forever. Coco made carrot cake cheesecake bars, Claude baked a giant quadruple chocolate mousse cake, and Dora made a lovely assortment of digestive biscuits to go with freshly brewed tea. Emilia made up a recipe on the spot - lemon vanilla cardamon bars - which turned out really good.

Since the lemon vanilla cardamon bars were such a hit, Emilia's gonna make a recipe video of it - at the camp. I still can't believe that Daisy Jane and I are gonna be on Emilia Eats - first for the vlog, now a recipe video! It's taken her years but Emilia plans to get most, if not all, her friends to appear on her channel. She plans to get Team Magic on next as she's planning a video with Mariposa and Skully, developing a recipe with Angie, figuring out what she wants to do with Luna that won't blow up the kitchen, and waiting on Pippa and Willow.

I can't wait to see what Emilia Eats has in store because Emilia's been knocking it out of the park lately! Her videos have always been consistently good but in the past few months she's been putting a lot more heart into it. Even when times were tough, Emilia always managed to put on a brave face. I remember watching her videos during those times, how despite everything that was going on, Emilia continued making recipes. We all have our different ways of coping with grief and hers was to continue with business as usual, which can be a good and bad thing.

Hanging out with her and watching her play with Michele Toni, I know for sure that Emilia's going to be all right. We can't undo the past and bring back lost loved ones, but we can carry on. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but I think I see a little bit of Michele Toni's aunt and uncle in her. She's definitely got her mom's heart and spirit.

After a fun day of collecting eggs and baking, it's time for a well deserved bonfire dinner of quiches, seafood chowder, and freshly baked sourdough bread. Then tomorrow will be more egg hunting, baking, filming, and good old camping fun!

[sugarmooncottage]

girly vlog: Antique shopping, date night, trying Lauren Conrad Beauty

[chaaliapinz]

I’ve watched five different webseries adaptations of much ado, so here are my thoughts on each of them

Hullabaloo (2016)

Adaptational setting: Bee and her friend Hero are just “girlfriends talking about stuff and things” until members of the famous band Aragon come and stay at Hero’s house, among them hot lead singer Claudio and Benny, the drummer, whom Bee highly dislikes (or does she?).

overall rating: 3/5, underdeveloped with a bit too much telling not showing, but extra points for being gay

Recommended for: people who want a sapphic much ado adaptation because this one’s the only one 

Superlative: shortest, least problematic

Character development: 2/5, too rushed to build real arcs. A lot of the story is not shown on camera, as are a number of important characters, but this is probably a budget/available cast related thing

Realism: 2.5/5 You could believe everything that happened on camera might have happened in a vlog in real life, but I kind of didn’t believe the characters were who they said they were re: the famous band. Also having some connection to the region in Spain would be a better explanation for a band being named Aragon than Claudio having a voice crack saying “paragon” (but that was funny anyway)

Diversity: 2.5/5

POC: Hero is black

LGBT: Bee and Benny (Female Benedick) are both sapphic

Disability: none

Adaptationing: 3/5 My main issue is that it just didn’t tell us enough. Would benefit from transmedia to show more squabbles between Bea & Benny with limited time and budget. Name-dropping Shakespeare in Shakespeare-inspired web serieses is also kind of a no-no for me, especially in a first episode.

 Much Ado About a Webseries (2014)

Adaptational setting: At Messina records, the Giddy Things (Pedro, Benedick, Claudio and John) are the top up-and-coming alt-rock band and Hero and Bea are a new pun-spitting folk-pop duo.

overall rating: 3/5, funny and cute but very very unrealistic

Recommended: If you like something of the above description

Superlative: sticks closest to the original story, best credit sequences, best music

Character development: 3/5 OK. See: the adaptationing section

Realism: 2/5 doesn’t try to be realistic and that’s okay

Diversity:  1.5/5 POC: Dogberry and Don John are black

LGBT: none

Disability: Hero has panic attacks

Adaptationing: 3.5/5 Sticks pretty close to the original with some good updating changes such as Conrade being a fangirl of Don John’s. However, the motivation for Don Pedro treating Don John badly before he does what he does isn’t quite clear.

 A Bit Much (2014)

adaptational setting: A summer camp in upstate New York at which Bridget (Beatrice) and Ben (Benedick) work

overall rating: 2.75/5, interesting and funny, but changed too much from the original story to be my cup of tea. It was engaging enough to binge for two hours late at night/early morning

Recommended: for people who want a binge-able series that diverges a lot from the original play in interesting ways

Superlative: most different from the original play, best setting aesthetic

length: short

film quality: 4/5 solid amateur

Character Development: 3/5 most characters have multiple dimensions but their motives are not coherent all the time.

Realism: 2.5/5 not super believable but didn’t really try to be

Diversity: 0/5 no LGBT or people of color (as far as I can tell). Also, a few questionable remarks are made about Pedro’s race but the actor is white.

Adaptationing: 2/5 This one’s more a riff on Much Ado rather than an adaptation. Corey (Claudio) and Haley (Hero) were a solid couple and the choice to make Don John a preteen kid worked well, as did the summer camp setting. Bridget (Beatrice) and Pedro having slept together and Ben proceeding to fight Pedro after hearing that was kind of a poor choice in my opinion because it can be seen as playing into the “women are prizes” trope. Also Ben not believing Haley when Corey accuses her of cheating changes his arc in a way I personally think diverges from the heart of the original play.

Messina High (2014)

overall rating: 2/5, interesting but not believable. Kind of like High School musical but darker and sexier and minus the song and dance.

Recommended: If you like something of the above description

Adaptational setting: Fancy private high school in the SF bay area of California

Superlative : Best film quality/highest budget

length: short

Character development: 2/5 most of the series is from Benny (Benedick)’s POV and it kinda takes away from the arcs of everyone else.

Realism: 1/5 a couple of the actors looked like teenagers but the leads didn’t. Some of the acting left a bit to be desired. backstories and motives are not well fleshed out

Diversity: 1/5 POC: Claudio is black

LGBT: 1 briefly featured gay man with no name

Disability: none

Adaptationing: 2.5/5 Benny was simply not obnoxious enough to be a good Benedick, so we lost his arc even tho he was the MC. Rachel, a sorta combination of Borachio and Margaret (?), came off as a one-dimensional mean girl vilified for having sex. Dogberry and Verges being stoners was a good choice though.

Nothing Much To Do (2014)

(gif credit: @beattriceduke)

overall rating: 4/5

Adaptational setting: high school in Auckland, New Zealand

Recommended for: people who like cute accents and dumb food jokes and don’t mind a lot of unnecessary vlog episodes

Superlative: Best character development, best iconic lines

length: long

Character Development: 5/5 Most people have motivations and character arcs of some sort. lots of nice little details

Realism: 4/5, characters looked & talked like teenagers most of the time but names and situations and motivations are not wholly believable. Acting is pretty solid for the most part.

Diversity: 1.5/5,  POC: Ursula is a stereotypically quiet east Asian girl

LGBT: Balthazar is gay and Pedro comes out as bi at the end

Disability: Hero has a chronic lung condition

Adaptationing: 4/5 Having Hero and Claudio break up at the end was a good choice but it could be more clear. Subtle changes to boost the feminist message generally worked well.

[cavalierycuth]

riley & conrad // @chrysalvsm​

once again, conrad was setting up his camera and fixing the lightning to start recording a new video for his youtube channel. it had been a few days since he had recorded anything new and with some editing out of the way he finally had the motivation to cross another idea off of his list. this time with his wife riley in front of the camera with him, like most of his typical daily vlogs, but a little less rushed. for a while now his followers had wanted them to talk about what it was like to be married at a typically younger age than most and it was time he finally got around to it. “hey, babe?” he called out, knowing she was wondering around the apartment somewhere. “i’m almost done setting up, so whenever you’re ready you can get your cute butt in here!” he checked to make sure there would be a good angle for the both of them, fitting the two of them into the view of the camera without being cut off in anyway. plopping himself down on the couch to rest, he called out once more. “okay, ready whenever!”