#CMC International

[littletroubledgrrrl]

[myvinylplaylist]

Warrant: Ultraphobic (1995)

Released In Canada

CMC International Records

[albatross-lancer]

(OOC: Reposting the summary I made to stand on its own for people who caught bits of it but don't want to have to switch between several different blogs)

A THOR-class NHP named Arthur entered cascade in Harrison Armory's PR offices. He caused significant electrical damage to the offices but as far as I can tell no one was seriously injured, and the PR intern, Jimbo, managed to calm him down. The situation now seems to be resolved amicably.

Rev, an AGNI-class NHP implied that they caused Arthur to cascade. Recent comments by them suggest that they did this to advance the cause of NHP equality (forgive my rumormongering, but I have my doubts. Their omninet page contains a great deal of what seem to be boasts of war crimes and genocide, they don't strike me as much of an egalitarian. That said, my Loyal Wing tells me she's met and fought cultists who earnestly believe in a future where humans and NHPs are free to inflict horrific atrocities upon one another, so who knows. People are complicated. I'm also unconvinced Rev actually did cause Arthur to cascade, the manner they describe seems implausible.)

The Corsair Mercenary Company and the squad commander of the MSMC 796th, Kennedi/Lockbreaker, were angered by this claim. I'm not sure why this incident, which Jimbo resolved well before there was a actual fighting, prompted her to act independently, but there was some indication of the security breach having wounded her pride. (It is also possible that they were, in fact, being contracted by a HA higher-up and only pretending to act independently). She recruited another squad, the MSMC 148th, and they set out for Rev's abode in Karrakin space.

Rev caused the NHP at Corsair Mercenary Company, which named themself [STABBY], to cascade. [STABBY] then took control of several subalterns and systems and attempted to kill the CMC, inflicting a high casualty count before being shut down by MSMC 796th's "Slipshod" using a liturgicode virus. (Based on [STABBY]'s rapid decision to attempting to kill the CMC once given the ability to do so, even if during cascade, it seems likely that they did not have a positive relationship and allegations of abuse seem credible)

The MSMC squads arrived and engaged Rev's Genghis body and a group of Hercynian lancers Rev had recruited via Hercynian Refurbished Armaments. The battle ended with both Rev and Lockbreaker's mechs effectively destroyed, Rev's casket damaged and Lockbreaker in critical condition. There was significant collateral damage dealt to the planet, though fortunately no civilians, bystanders, or other innocents were harmed.

Albatross long patrol "Osprey" received several distress calls from the area and rerouted to investigate. When they arrived, medics were able to stabilize Kennedi and assess the situation. Rev was recovered by "an associate", the MSMC squadrons were able to contact command and get returned to headquarters, and I belive the Hercynians returned to Hercynia. After assisting local damage control and double-checking that no one was hurt, long patrol Osprey will be returning to their nearlight patrol route.

[apas-95]

Why does china even have a ministry for national defense when it has no control over the military, which is a party organ. You're just wasting public funding at that point

Actually, the CMC is technically both a party and state organ, and operates simultaneously as the Central Military Commission of the Communist Party of China, as well as the Central Military Commission of the People's Republic of China (of which the Ministry of National Defense is a child organisation). In any case, the purpose of the Ministry of National Defense is international liason, diplomacy, and the conduct of military attachés.

[corbiecomic]

"Corinne Morgan, Corbie" remastered #1 - now available in print!

It's been a long time coming, but you can now enjoy the first ever issue of Corinne Morgan, Corbie as an old school, high quality, real-world comic book! Read on to learn all about how you can secure a copy from the extremely limited initial print run - and to discover the extra treats in store if you order the deluxe package!

ABOUT "CORINNE MORGAN, CORBIE"

Corinne Morgan has always gone out of her way to stay out of trouble. All she wants is to graduate from the notoriously brutal Anna Dale Academy in one piece. Unfortunately, her headmistress seems out to get her – and a vicious trio of students known as the I.C. are too! All this would be enough for anyone to handle, but things get a million times crazier when Corinne acquires a crystal ball that revives her ancestor, an Irish war goddess with her own plans for revenge and in need of a new body. These events will lead to the teen inventor adopting a new-alter ego - the battling bird gal, Corbie!

To celebrate the fifth anniversary of its original release, "The Power" has been given a major makeover for this new edition, with each page recreated from the original pencil materials. But that's not all! Five pages of never-before-seen comic material appear here for the first time ever, as well as an exclusive article looking back on the making of both the original and new editions. Colorful, breezy and engaging, this reimagined version of the first Corbie adventure will enthrall seasoned fans as well as new members of her flock!

Corbie #1 was released digitally in 2023 as a remastered and expanded reimagining of the 2018 version, commemorating its fifth anniversary. Further improvements and enhancements have been made beyond those found in the current digital edition for the print release, and two extra pages of pin-up art are now included. Both cover variants are available - cover "A" (Corbie and Morrigan in front of Stonydawn, the Morgan family home) or cover "B" (Corbie in close-up). Only 50 copies are available for each variant!

Each print copy of “Corinne Morgan, Corbie” #1 (deluxe and standard) comes with a numbered certificate confirming it originates from the initial August 2024 print run. The deluxe edition also includes the following extra items:

CORINNE STICKER: An exclusive sticker of the star of the series, Corinne Morgan - but selected issues instead include an even rarer holofoil variant! Which type will you get?

CORBIE MINI-PRINT: Readers will receive a special laminated mini-print of Corbie, with the CMC logo on the reverse side!

UNIQUE HAND-DRAWN PEN ART: Every purchase of the deluxe edition of Corinne Morgan, Corbie #1 comes with its own hand-drawn pen illustration of a member of the cast - no two are alike! Will you get Corinne in her daytime attire, or art of her as her superhero alter-ego, Corbie? Will you be the lucky recipient of the art depicting her pal Sadie Byrd, or her schoolyard nemesis Maxine Glass? The only way to find out is to order your copy!

Corinne Morgan, Corbie #1 is available for order now via Ko-Fi as a 32-page print comic, with international shipping available. Don't forget that you can also get issues 1, 2 and 3 in PDF and CBZ formats from the same store!

[msmc-796-official]

After-Action Report: The Fireman Saga

[PARTIES INVOLVED]

MSMC-796 "Heaven's Fury"

MSMC-148 "Neon Scene"

Corsair Mercenary Company / @corsair-mc-official

AGNI clone "Rev" / @revvedandrunning

Hercynian Refurbished Armaments / @hra-official

Monsoon Lance, Dawnlight First and Only

Patrol Squadron Osprey / @albatross-lancer [tangential]

Intern Jimbo, THOR clone "Arthur" / @harrison-armory-incorporated [tangential]

Karrakin Trade Baronies / @ktbofficial [tangential]

+++++++

[CASUALTIES]

0 dead, 1 incapacitated, 2 wounded

MSMC-796-1 "Lockbreaker" // unconscious, stable condition; fractured right arm w/ shattered wrist [prosthetic replacement recommended], third-degree burns across most of the body

MSMC-148-2 "Prowl" // stable condition; second-degree burns across the upper body, temporary blindness

MSMC-148-5 "Stimpak" // stable condition; temporary blindness

+++++++

[DAMAGES]

1 destroyed mech

SSC Dusk Wing "And The Voice Of Apollo Spake From On High" // stable condition; damaged auxiliary weapons targeting system

IPS-N Caliban "Sudden Intervention" // DESTROYED

+++++++

[REPARATIONS - IN PROGRESS]

HRA - reparations paid; turned over the casket of AGNI clone "Rev", along with a confiscated virus harpoon (initially obtained from CMC) from known mech-poaching group "Whalers"

KTB - discussions on necessary reparations ongoing; jurisdiction over final reparations to be overseen by Hades & Jackal, Esq.

AGNI clone "Rev" - d̵͎̘͛̆ȃ̶͓͑̉t̸̨̯̜̅̉ḁ̶̺̗̍̄̑ ̶̱̺̋c̴̨̮͒o̵̤̐r̶̢̧̭͗̃͆r̶̨̢̰͋̅̕ȗ̶̡͕͝͠p̷̼̫͇̃͗t̵̨͍̐͠e̷̟̹̾̑d̶̨̕

[ha, yeah, no, I don't think so. the higher-ups can [AUTO-CENSORED BY PILOTNET] for all I care, we are NOT paying reparations to Rev, especially not after what they did to Kennedi // -- Slipshod]

+++++++

[DISCIPLINARY ACTION]

MSMC-796 "Heaven's Fury" is on a one-month deployment probation, effective immediately. They may not accept commissions (paid or unpaid), recommend or commission fellow squadrons for deployments on their behalf, send or receive commission offers, or otherwise engage in the field duties of a MSMC Lancer squadron.

However, all squad members are permitted to engage with PR responsibilities as usual, within the updated guidelines handed down from MSMC Upper Management.

MSMC-148 "Neon Scene" is on a two-week deployment probation, effective immediately, following the same terms as above.

+++++++

There, that should about do it. Hopefully command is satisfied with that. MSMC-148 is sending in their recorded footage from the field for review (seeing as they were actually able to get the full scope of things from the sidelines), and all of our text correspondences with everyone have been compiled and timestamped for viewing from as many perspectives as I and Slipshod could track down.

Obligatory thank you to the boys from Hades & Jackal, Esq. for their assistance in drafting this. (Hopefully Slipshod's little "addendum" in the Reparations section doesn't show up in their copy.)

TL;DR - Our entire squad is banned from any sort of field deployment for a month, and we're probably gonna owe some pretty serious reparations to the KTB for blowing a Worldkiller-sized hole in Karrakis during combat (if/when they actually get back to us).

Kennedi's gonna need a new mech once she wakes up, and as far as the medical team can tell us, she's slated for a new arm prosthetic once her burns start to heal over and they can safely remove the old one without damaging anything further. But she is in fact alive, and is currently stable. Sometimes, stubbornness is a good thing.

It's been one hell of a week. We all need some rest. Expect us to be on and off for a bit as we wait for this entire mess to blow over.

-- Angel

[OOC: FC's Note - look for the new tag (#the fireman saga) on my blog to track down all of our side of the story!]

[imaplatypus-art]

Sweetie Belle

3 of 3 CMCs! Lil unicorn

Get the keychain here: ko-fi.com/s/a09ee0cc47 or international here: www.etsy.com/listing/1129451488/preorder-my-little-pony-keychains

[natasha-in-space]

Picrew link

Rika/cmc Chaewon Lee

A vignette I wrote on a whim after playing around in Picrew! Basically the aftermath of Ray's and Natasha's (Saeran's MC) escape from Mint Eye. Rika doesn't take it too well. Chaewon offers comfort. Do they come to a healthy and reasonable resolution? Of course not :)

Exhaustion weighed heavily upon Chaewon's shoulders as her legs carried her up the many winding stairs to the top floor of Magenta, many thoughts plaguing her mind. Things have been a mess in the last week. That cursed traitor showing up out of the blue, Natasha's apparent betrayal that she always knew was brewing somewhere under the surface, and now... Ray's completely unforseen escape, to top it all off.

She expected Natasha to turn tail the moment the opportunity arose, but Ray? Chaewon wouldn't admit it, but even she felt somewhat betrayed by his rather selfish decision to leave them all behind like that. Guess a pretty girl was all it took for him to abandon the same people who cared and protected him for these past few years.

He left Magenta completely defenseless. Didn't even have the courage to face the Savior head-on before disappearing. Just left in the middle of the night with that joke of an assistant of his.

...They should have never let him keep her.

While wandering through the hallway, Chaewon saw the open door to Rika's chambers. Rika's voice caused her to pause and her eye widened as she heard the obvious distress in her voice, muffled sniffs and sobs reaching her ears through the door. She immediately felt a sense of concern, and she frowned slightly as she paused in the doorway.

"Rika?" as she entered the chambers without invitation, she whispered softly and closed the door behind her. Only she was allowed to come and go as she pleased. Not to mention call her by her name. She preferred not to do that, usually, but... Right now, it just felt right. The state Rika was in caused her eyes to widen. There she was, her small form curled up on her bed, her head tucked away into her knees. A sight not befitting of a Savior that the believers were made to love and adore. But a sight she knew too well, "Are you alright? I've ordered our Security Unit to replace Ray in the meantime, but it's... challenging."

Rika was seemingly so focused on her internal conflicts and negative thoughts that she didn't even realize the door was opening behind her. Another worrying sign that Chaewon did not like to see. When she heard her bodyguard's soft voice, she raised her head quickly. As she looked at her, her expression grew more depressed and she closed her eyes.

"...No, I'm not... I'm not okay," she murmured while lowering her head and placing her hands on her face.

As Chaewon heard Rika's words, her frown deepened, and the sight of her with her head down made her chest ache. She moved closer until she was in front of her bed and crouched down, gently grasping Rika's wrists and carefully removing her hands from her face.

"Hey, look at me," her tone was soft and full of concern, accompanied by gentle words. So very different from the firm and cold voice she would use with everyone else. Much like Rika would only let her see her like this, Rika was the only one who would bring out that caring side of her that was seemingly long gone by this point. They both knew sides of each other no one else was allowed to see. She kept holding Rika's wrists as she waited for her to look down at her.

As if the soft voice and gesture had a strange influence on her, Rika slowly raised her head to look at Chaewon who was kneeling at her bedside, like a loyal knight would for the one they've sworn to serve. Her eyes were slightly red, giving her an expression of being at her limit.

It was just as unusual to see her with a soft and vulnerable gaze. Rika Kim, the one who was leading Mint Eye into the eternal paradise, now felt so lost and alone...

How pathetic, is what she probably thought.

The state that Rika was in caused Chaewon's breath to hitch. Rika's eyes caught her gaze, making her chest ache and heart skip a beat. At that moment, all she wanted was to wrap the woman sitting in front of her in her arms and hold her close, but she had to resist the sudden urge. She exhaled, gently squeezing Rika's wrists.

"Come here," her voice was quiet and soft as she spoke faintly. Without waiting for a response, she leaned up and pulled Rika into her arms, holding her tightly.

Rika was clearly taken by surprise when she suddenly found herself in Chaewon's embrace, but she didn't put up any resistance. Be it by her genuine desire, or her desperate need for comfort, she couldn't help but lean into her, letting her emotions carry her weight. She was so tiny like this. Especially next to Chaewon who could rival V in height, the broadness of her stature carrying with itself a rather intimidating appearance. A stark contrast to Rika's smaller and softer figure. However, in reality, Chaewon was never the one in control. Rika hid her face in her chest, her body trembled slightly and tears began to fall down her cheeks again.

"Ray was right to choose her over me. I'm a monster..." she whispered as she sobbed.

"No, you're not," Chaewon responded immediately, her voice firm but soft, as she held Rika close to her. Her heart broke when she saw her like this and heard how Rika thought of herself. Rika was held tight by her arm, while the other one gently rubbed her back in a comforting manner, "You're not a monster, Rika."

Her chin rested on top of Rika's head as she gently repeated herself.

Chaewon's shirt was stained by tears that continued to run down Rika's cheeks. It's like she tried to escape her inner torment by pressing herself against her bodyguard that was sworn to protect her. The sobs continued to escape her mouth, causing her body to tremble slightly. In one smooth movement, Chaewon laid them both down onto the soft covers, with them now laying on their sides, facing each other.

"Yes, I am..." Rika whispered softly. For once, her guilt and remorse were like a heavy burden on her shoulders, and she couldn't shake off the feeling of being a bad person she always knew she was. She was consumed by her own self-destructive thoughts, believing that she deserved all the suffering she was currently experiencing.

But she was a weak willed person. Not at all like Ray or Natasha. She was still scared of the pain, of the loneliness, of being left behind. She couldn't accept her mistakes. Not fully.

Accepting them meant facing every single thing she had done wrong in all the years of her life.

And that was terrifying.

Rika's tears were making Chaewon's shirt fully wet now, but she didn't care. She only cared about providing Rika with the comfort she needed at that moment. She remained close to her while slowly running her hand up and down her back in an effort to calm her.

"Stop it," she spoke with a gentle tone, her voice still a bit gruff, but soft. Hearing Rika talk about herself in that way was unbearable to her, "You're not a monster. You're a good person, Rika."

When Chaewon contradicted her, Rika felt a strange sense of comfort blooming in her chest ever so faintly. Her body was shaking in her arms while she buried her wet and tear-stained face in her bodyguard's chest.

"How can you say that so easily...?" she spoke in a shaky manner, "How can you say that... after everything... I've done...?"

Her sobs grew louder once more and she tightened her grip on her former friend's shirt.

Chaewon's heart skipped a beat. She hadn't heard Rika speak like that in years. Sure, she had her moments of vulnerability, and even breakdowns, but... This was no longer the Savior of Mint Eye, she realized. This was Rika just like she knew her prior to their new lives here in Magenta.

This was her friend just like she remembered her.

But this feeling was a bittersweet one, not a joyous one. Even Chaewon knew that they crossed a point of no return a long while ago. They both did so willingly. And they both now had sins to bear. Sins that Chaewon could not take away from Rika, even if she wanted to.

Still...

In an effort to comfort her, she allowed Rika to hold on to her shirt slightly tighter while still rubbing her back. Rika's words caused her heart to hurt as she replayed them in her head again.

"Because I know you," her voice was quiet and gentle as she replied softly. She slowly slid her hand up and gently ran her fingers through Rika's hair. She kept her close by leaning her chin on top of her head again, "I know you're a good person, Rika."

Rika felt like she was floating on air thanks to Chaewon's words and the soft touch of her hand through her hair. She felt less alone and isolated from the world when she was comforted in this way. She always did. Inhaling deeply, she tried to calm the sobs that still shook her body.

"Ray chose her over me. A girl he knew for less than a year. He chose to leave, to abandon me for... for her," her voice was broken and full of remorse, as she whispered. Though, there were clear hints of resentment seeping through there as well, "What did she whisper in those ears of his? What promises did she make? I-"

A silent pause followed.

"...It's my fault," in a way, Rika wasn't making any sense. Her tone switched from hurt and angry to remorseful in an instant. She couldn't even understand herself, "I shouldn't have punished her. That drove him away from me, didn't it...? He cared so much for her, of course he would see me as a heartless monster after I... after I did that to her."

Chaewon pulled back from their embrace, laying on her side as she gazed at Rika, her hand still running through her hair. Rika's voice was filled with sorrow and remorse, and it was painful to listen to her talk about herself like that. In an effort to comfort her, she pulled her closer and massaged her back in a soothing way.

"-But you've helped people, Rika. You saved so many lives," she spoke softly, her voice now growing a tad firmer. She wanted Rika to see all the good she had done, not just focus on the bad, "Ray and Saeran were just fine with you before she came along. I always knew she wasn't truly one of us. That little thing. Trembling in her shoes whenever her precious boss wasn't there to protect her."

Chaewon shook her head briefly, a slow steady breath leaving her lips. Her gaze hardened as it settled back on Rika.

That's right.

None of this was her fault.

Rika wouldn't have acted out in the first place, if it wasn't for Natasha.

It was all that girl's fault. Not Rika's.

"Ray is a gullible fool who still believes in his fairytales. It wouldn't be hard to fill his head with promises of a happy future," she muttered, her fingers still running through Rika's curls, twirling them around absentmindedly, "-And Saeran is far too impulsive for his own good. I should've put him in his place when he screamed at you last week. We weren't prudent enough, you and I. But it isn't our fault."

Rika was quiet as she stared back at her, her expression unreadable. Chaewon reached out to wipe her thumb under her eye, wiping the salty moisture off her delicate skin.

"...We will fix this. I will fix this. For you."

"You will...?" Rika murmured, sounding both hopeful and somehow doubtful.

Chaewon nodded: "I will. I promised you that I would stay by your side until you reach your dream. And I will abide by my promises to you. In whatever form it will take."

[sweetie-devil]

How did the DCMC's transformations into their discorded selves go?

Okay. . . I guess it's time to answer this question finally.

TW for s*icide baiting Sweetie, manipulation, and mental child ab*se.

For Apple Bloom, he had to manually hypnotize her the way he did Fluttershy. So, she was the hardest to break.

Scootaloo was pretty easy to break, her being scared internally and considered a 'chicken'. All he had to do was manipulate her into being scared of things. Take that as you will.

With Sweetie Belle though, uh. . . okay, let's get started on this.

Sweetie has always secretly felt like she was in Rarity's shadow, being her little sister and all. Once Discord found her scared and alone, he could see through her like the members of the Mane Six.

I caution the reader to tread carefully with this next part and will again, put a trigger warning for s*icide baiting Sweetie, manipulation, and mental child ab*se.

Okay, basically, Discord being Discord, he performs the 'Shine a Light' reprise from the Heathers but with his own fake images of the other two CMCs and Rarity singing it to Sweetie. Sweetie of course, doesn't know this isn't real and buys into it. Tears fall, and he keeps taunting her, playing on all of Sweetie's insecurities. And. . . well, one thing leads to another and she changes, her mental health getting worse and worse before she finally kiIIs Blueblood for Rarity. It's why she's so obsessed and attached to Rarity, wanting to constantly be there to protect her/why she wants to keep Scootaloo and Apple Bloom safe. She thinks that if she isn't useful, that Discord's illusions will come true. It's what she thinks that they think of her. If she's not "useful" to Rarity or the other Crusaders, then what good is she? That's how she views it.

[classicrockblog1]

Accident of Birth is the fourth #studio #album by Bruce Dickinson, released on 3 June 1997[1] through Castle Communications' sub‑label Raw Power in the UK and through CMC International in the US.

[myvinylplaylist]

Iron Maiden: Virtual XI (1998)

Cover Art by Melvyn Grant

CMC International Records

[marshmallowprotection]

Question on behalf of my ADHD/ADD Saeran admirers (or those with cmcs maybe), how might a relationship with SE work/play out? He’s more in need of quiet and we’ve got brains that are never quiet. Poor guy is stuck with 2 Saeyoungs 🫶

SE Saeran is definitely someone who enjoys peace and quiet. That goes without saying, doesn’t it? He gets overstimulated and overwhelmed from the smallest of things and goes out of his way to avoid and ignore anyone that tries to get inside of his bubble. He doesn’t necessarily hate people for existing, but he does really have a point where he just can’t handle the sound of someone talking, chewing, or walking. Small noises can be too much for him, as to be expected from a guy who spent so much time living in a space with just white noise.

So, imagine that you’re his opposite. You need sound to focus, you need to stim and tap your leg against the ground, and you’re generally a busy person with a brain that moves a mile a minute. You might think that this is the worst combo in the world since it sounds like you would clash with each other and push the one you love into a corner. But, that’s not really the case.

What Saeran doesn’t like is when people put him in a situation that he can’t get out of.

Going out into public? Yeah, that’s a challenge.

But, in a controlled environment where he is allowed to define the factors that he wants and doesn’t want?

That’s a lot better for him to decide. He hates the white noise and nothingness that surrounds him. He can’t deal with loud and overwhelming noises, but he wouldn’t mind the other sounds of life. It would be a good tool in moments when he feels his skin crawl and the flashbacks flood his mind. He needs something to ground him. If he can look across the room in a huff and realize that you’re there and that he’s not locked in a basement, that’s a relief. It’s a safer reaction to the things he used to.

He doesn’t want to claw at himself until he realizes it’s not Mint Eye. So, you’re a comfort he didn’t imagine he would have. You’re not doing anything but playing a game on your phone or tapping away on your computer. You’re just... being yo. It isn’t something he expects to calm him down, but actually the sounds of you in a room with him are welcomed. He doesn’t mind it. When you need to work fast in a short amount of time because you are struggling to control yourself, he gets it.

Saeran understands what it feels like to be trapped in your head... unable to feel like you know how to respond to the impulses your brain sends. He finds it easy to understand the internalized factors but sometimes it takes a little patience to get the outward reaction. You have to adapt to get by and once you explain how you have to function and navigate the world, he understands. He doesn’t judge you for it or chide you for something that’s out of your control.

You don’t judge him for his PTSD. You don’t scold him for having panic attacks or episodes that he feels afraid of. You get him space and listen to him when he mutters what he needs. Why wouldn’t he do the same for you? Just because you don’t deal with the world like him doesn’t mean that he won’t like being with you. It just takes healthy and open communication. You have to be willing to talk and sort things out to find a compromise. if you bother him, or if he bothers you, say something. Work out a way to exist safely together.

That’s what a real relationship is all about.

You bring life into his world... in ways that he can’t explain. Your energy and soul makes him feel safe and normal for once. You might be nothing like him but that isn’t a bad thing. Saeran wants to make it work with you, and that means he has to put in the effort to work on himself. Be honest with him about everything and it won’t be long before he can do the same.

So what if anyone thinks you don’t fit together? He doesn’t give a damn about that. He likes being with you... just don’t expect him to admit it for a while because he needs time to be emotionally vulnerable. It’s a step in the right direction, though, because once he’s physically comfortable with you, it’s a lot easier to confront his feelings. Be yourself with him... because you’re the only person in the world that Saeran feels safe enough to be himself with.

Who knows? He might just be the one to casually hand you something to toy with in your most frustrated moments or the one to press a hand against your shoulder to say, “Hey, you’re hyperfocusing again. You need to get something to eat.”

[kangjaehee]

you know, more confidently.

In their Christmas Eve lunch, Chaeyoung debates if she should kiss Jaehee under the msitletoe.

for @jaeheeweek22  day 1 - mistletoe.

title: you know, mroe confidently

pairing: jaehee/main character (CMC: Min Chaeyoung)

rating: general

word count: 2965

tags: christmas fluff, a little bit of internalized homophobia, the mcjaehee matching jewerly agenda

CHRISTMAS EVE WAS IN FULL SWING, and Chaeyoung had to admit, she was feeling more festive this season than she’d had in a while. 

Perhaps the ongoing Holiday promos at the café had something to do with it. She had spent her entire week huddled in the kitchen with Lily, baking order after order of cakes and cookies. At this point, she was dreaming of gingerbread and elf hats and Santa and reindeers. The movie sessions with Jaehee, she thought, were another addition. 

Perhaps Jaehee was the biggest change from last year’s Christmas to this one, she thought. Back then, it would’ve been hard for her to imagine she’d be spending her holiday season sleeping over at Jaehee’s house more than once a week, cuddling and watching their favorite Christmas movies, baking their favorite things in the morning, stealing kisses between it all. 

They had started dating recently– it’d be a month soon– and every single romantic Christmas song had acquired a new meaning. She dedicated every single one she heard to Jaehee, as well as every Christmas movie, every little moment. This was their season, their month: they had confessed to each other on a cold night the first of December, and all of their kisses tasted of peppermint and cocoa. 

Work had wrapped up for the day– only a half day before their Christmas break for people to wrap up orders– and now they were headed for lunch at one of their favorite restaurants. This would be one of their first ever actual dates, not counting the many nights they’d already spent at each other’s houses. It made Chaeyoung giddy. With enthusiasm, she closed everything on the café, even taking Jaehee’s hand as she closed the door like she was picking her up from her house, an instance that made them both giggle. 

They drove, gossiping about the chatroom and the people of the café and whatever would happen tonight when Jaehee went to dinner with Chaeyoung’s family, an instance they were both nervous for but looked forward to. Jaehee’s fingers found Chaeyoung’s in stoplights, and they laced their fingers together, and Chaeyoung would look up and smile until Jaehee dis that shy little laugh that always gave Chaeyoung butterflies. 

This was really quite the feeling. They felt like a real couple now that they were doing couple stuff, going to lunch dates after work for quality time like the grown women in their mid-twenties that they were. Chaeyoung found it hard to describe, but she quite liked it. 

The place was not too crowded– an elegant Italian restaurant in a culinary district of Seoul, and a decently popular date night spot, though Chaeyoung figured, to their luck, that most couples would choose to go out at night. This was good, they’d get their food faster. 

“I think we should try the pizzas this time around…” Jaehee mused as they approached the place. “I have heard great things about them.”

“I wanted to do that, as well,” Chaeyoung said. “How about a margarita?”

The frown Jaehee gave her was sudden and comical. “I believe it’s a little… early for such a drink, Chaeyoung.”

Chaeyoung snorted. “I mean the pizza. It is way too early to have margaritas… I was thinking something like wine would be better for now…”

Jaehee scoffed, the ghost of a smile on her lips. “I still believe it is a bit too early for any drinks at all… I’d rather not be drunk at midday.”

“Well, it’s not my fault you get drunk with half a bottle…” Chaeyoung cocked an eyebrow. 

Jaehee’s eyebrows were on her hairline. “Alright, rude.” When Chaeyoung laughed, more irritated, she said, “Okay, first of all, I am not that lightweight. Don’t exaggerate.”

“Baby,” Chaeyoung looked down at her, softening her approach. “Are you going to forget Wednesday’s events?”

“Oh, please, Chaeyoung, that was Pinot Blanc…” she scoffed, an indignant frown on her face. “I was bound to get at least tipsy.”

“You were much more than tipsy, let me tell you…”

“Alright…” she said. “I suppose I could use some wine… it’s Christmas, after all. But I will go light.”

Chaeyoung nodded. “Sounds good to me.” She wondered, silently, if tonight would be any similar to Wednesday… She figured not. Jaehee would’ve learned her lesson after that quite… revealing and eventful evening in the chatroom. She would not want to repeat it again, though Chaeyoung would be amused. 

They had finally arrived at the entrance, having parked a few blocks away. “There’s a mistletoe…” Jaehee said. 

Chaeyoung looked at the door. There was one indeed, hanging right above it. “Would you look at that, there is one…” she said, thinking of how many kisses had been shared under it this season. The waiters would surely be amused by them, just as she was with every kiss at the door of their café. 

Jaehee didn’t move, so Chaeyoung decided to, going ahead and opening the door for her girlfriend, who regarded her with a somewhat dumbfounded look. 

“Go ahead, my darling,” she said with a playful tone, and Jaehee gave her a little smile and stepped inside, without meeting her eyes. 

It was only when Chaeyoung had closed the door and they were walking to their table that Chaetoung realized her grave, grave mistake. 

Oh. Her face was suddenly as red as her hair. 

She did not talk at all once they sat down, to embarrassed with herself to even get a good look at Jaehee. Sometimes, Chaeyoung could be very stupid. She knew this. She was keenly aware of this character flaw, evidenced by the many times Jaehee had, though also without knowing it, flirted with her, and that she had not caught. “Women have to be much more careful when approaching other women…” She had attributed that quote to anything but a romantic intent– misplaced misogyny, the emotional carefulness women were known for that men usually lacked, literally whatever except attraction, until she thought about it months ago, when she was starting to realize her feelings for Jaehee. 

Well, at least now she was slightly faster at picking up the clues. A couple seconds later in comparison to a couple months was quite the development, wasn’t it…?

“We’ll be having the medium margarita with a chardonnay, please,” Jaehee said once the waitress had come to take their order. Chaeyoung ordered water for herself, and the waitress was off. 

“I didn’t know what to get your mother for Christmas…” Jaehee said after a while, and Chaeyoung understood that they were dropping the matter of earlier. “I got her a perfume… I hope she enjoys floral scents.”

“I don’t think they allow that at the hospital, but her perfumes are usually… light and sweet.” Chaeyoung said. It was funny, actually, how well Jaehee seemed to get along with her mother. She had met her when the café opened, and ever since Chuseok, they seemed to have hit it off quite well. Sometimes Jaehee and her would casually talk on the phone about matters that had nothing to do with her. 

Chaeyoung was, all in all, happy to see it, although she did find it confusing, as anyone probably would. She treated Jaehee like a friend and sometimes like her own daughter… which was probably why Jaehee leaned onto her. Chaeyoung knew of her turbulent history with older female figures after her own mother’s death and, with that in mind, was happy to see her have this. And perhaps it might make the revelation of her relationship– and of her own self– easier, when the time came to do it. 

The wine arrived, the waitress pouring it on their glasses. Although they were very much in a casual setting, neither of them bothering to dress up for the occasion, Jaehee still looked very elegant with the browns and golds of the restaurant behind them, her cream turtleneck, the red wine, her slightly pinkened cheeks. 

Chaeyoung had an idea, and raised her glass. “A toast,” she said. Jaehee, with a cute, eye-smile grin, did the same. “To us.” 

“To this… blissful and beautiful new beginning,” she said, “And to many more Christmases together.”

They clinked their glasses and Chaeyoung found herself reveling in this moment, the normalcy of it, the cliché of being a couple lunching together on Christmas, toasting their relationship over a glass of Chardonnay. She wanted to have many more of these moments: couple trips, dinner dates, strolls along the bay, shopping for an apartment and furniture for it. 

It brought her this calm, peaceful happiness to think about it. She was never the sort for clichés, never desired a romance that looked like everyone else’s. Never was the black tie date night, white dress bride sort. With Minhyuk, they had wanted to do love their own way, craft their own version of romance and see what that looked like. But with Jaehee, she was eager to do love the way everyone else had done it, because it would still be irrevocably theirs. 

Shuffling on Jaehee’s purse took her out of her thoughts. Carefully, she pulled out a small box. “I wanted to give you your present…” she said, honey eyes regarding her earnestly, and holding out the small blue box. 

“Oh my goodness…” Chaeyoung was grinning widely when she took the box. She recognized the store, and knew it was not a cheap one. “This is…” 

“Open it,” she said, playfully in a way where Chaeyoung couldn’t help but indulge her. 

With as much care as Jaehee pulled the box out, she opened it to reveal a rather dainty rose gold necklace, with a pink stone etched in a frame that looked kind of like a sun. Chaeyoung couldn’t help but gasp lightly, drawing her fingers through the stone. “Jaehee, this is gorgeous…”

She couldn’t say it fit her jewelry style, as she preferred thicker chains and bracelets, but she could not deny its beauty. Aesthetics be damned, she wanted to wear it forever, simply because Jaehee had gotten it for her.

“It’s a rose quartz,” Jaehee explained. Her cheeks were a similar shade of pink. “Associated with tenderness, comfort, and joy. I figured it was the appropriate stone to represent who you are to me.”

Chaeyoung had a giddy, lovestruck grin on her face, and if they weren’t in the middle of a restaurant, she would pull Jaehee in to kiss her right now. This woman and her attention to detail always touched a very special part of her: the way she made sure everything had a place, a meaning, an intention. She left no stone unturned, and it marveled Chaetoung, making her heart smile every time. 

“And.. lift it up,” Jaehee said, so Chaeyoung lifted the little foam piece. There was another necklace identical to it. “It’s a set of two…” Jaehee said. “I don’t know if I should have consulted you about this, but I wanted to–” She huffed, the way she always did when she was flustered. “I wanted us to have something… that– bonded us, if you will, and I’ve always liked the idea of matching pieces.”

Chaeoung’s smile wasn’t going away anytime soon, and now she was closer and closer every second to damning the restaurant and just going over to Jaehee and kissing her. “No, I love it,” she said. “That way, I’ll always carry you with me… it’s adorable.”

Jaehee was now smiling like a fool as well, turning away just slightly, as if she didn’t want Chaeyoung to see. This woman was too cute in every single way a person could be cute. She was going to make Chaeyoung melt one day. 

“Will you help me put it on?” she asked, having taken out the necklace. “I’ll help you with yours.” It only felt right. 

Jaehee nodded and got up, and Chaeyoung did as well. She turned, pulled up her hair, and Jaehee very carefully placed the necklace around her neck and clasped it. “There you go,” was her cue for her to turn around, as well as Jaehee’s hands ghosting over her hair. Only then did she realize how heavily her heart was drumming.

She parted Jaehee’s hair softly away from the nape of her neck, although her layered haircut made the task a bit more challenging. But, with all the tenderness the stone symbolized, she managed to do it after one failed attempt that resulted in giggles, and when Jaehee turned around, the necklace fitting her like a glove, the pink stone shining bright and that same brightness reflected in her eyes, Chaeyoung felt her breath stop. 

She wanted to kiss her– do something, her lips were aching for a part of her body. Her lips, her hands, her forehead that was so easily accessible. But Chaeyoung stayed frozen in place. She didn’t know how Jaehee felt about public displays of affection, she got nervous even when Chaeyoung stole cheek kisses from her at the bakery. But there was this burning fire of expectancy, and oh, she wanted to… 

She eyed the mistletoe, where a couple had just shared a quick, chaste kiss. Perhaps she would kiss her there once they left. Perhaps then she’d be brave enough. 

“Let’s sit back down,” Jaehee said, and with that, the moment was gone. Chaeyoung meekly went back to her seat and took a sip of her wine. 

The pizza came not long after that, and it was delicious. Thin and with pools of mozzarella that made a delightful combination with the green leaves characteristic of this flavor. She would admit, though, that it would’ve been better with a rosé or sparkling white, the Chardonnay a bit too… punchy for the meal.

For dessert, they had tiramisu, one of Jaehee’s favorites, with espresso. The one this place made in particular was creamy and sweet, which made Jaehee, between pink cheeks and laughter, wipe cream from Chaeyoung’s tinted lips. Yes… Chaeyoung was going to kiss her later. 

The wine was left half-drunk, the bill was split, and they both left the place, breath tasting like coffee and cream and grapes, spirits high for the rest of the holiday– the fact it was their first as a couple just added to the giddy mood– and new matching pendants on their necks. 

Chaeyoung found herself freezing when she got to the door, movements suddenly jittery and heart suddenly racing. She remembered everything that had happened in the past hour and a half: the indirect, her obliviousness, Jaehee’s disappointment, the necklace, her hands, her eyes, her breath as she was close to her. She craved her, the brutal softness of her ministrations, and the mistletoe was right there and so was Jaehee, she could literally just pull her by the lapel of her coat and kiss her, but…

Still, something stopped her in place. The great monster that was insecurity, that sometimes precaution could be. As much as she wanted to wrap Jaehee in her arms and take her as hers in this very place, at this very moment… it would be selfish. She didn’t know if Jaehee wanted this, if she was or was not going to be made uncomfortable by her moves, by a display of them where anyone could see. 

For now, until they were sure, until they were comfortable… it would be better if these moments remained only between them, in the corners of their spaces where few people could see. This thing with Jaehee was something precious and sacred, something that could not, by any measure of the imagination, be ruined, and if she had to swallow her desires at times, she would. 

So, with heavy regret that was exposed in her steps, she began to move away from the door, leaving this moment and its many doubts behind, there would be another one, it just wasn’t meant to happen now, it was fine. 

But then, “Wait…” she heard Jaehee say, brightly. 

Chaeyoung turned to see her, still under the door, a wide, closed-lip smile on her face. 

“What…” she said, frozen, expectant. 

“...Come here for a second.” Jaehee’s words were an open-armed invitation, exuding a sort of calm confidence that pulled Chaeyoung in like a magnet. 

Slowly and very nervously, with her heart drumming in her chest, she approached the door, never breaking Jaehee’s gaze. She had always loved her eyes. Big and honey-colored, they sparkled from within with wonder and glee, like there were sparks dancing behind them. 

She was now standing face-to-face with Jaehee, close enough to feel her coffee-and-cream breath, aware of the plant right above them. 

And then, very carefully but without a smidget of hesitance, she brought her hand to cup her cheek, got on her tiptoes, and kissed her on the lips. It was perfect, sweet, as tender as the stone that had come to now symbolize their love prescribed. 

And Chaeyoung was beaming.

Rushing with an adrenaline that to her was not very well-known, euphoric, powerful, she could swallow the world entire. She cupped Jaehee’s face with one hand and wrapped the other around her waist, pulling her closer, and kissed her back. Really kissed her, making sure to taste the tangy sweetness of her mouth that by now she knew so well. And she did not care at all about the holiday or the restaurant or who was looking. Whoever looked would look. 

“Merry Christmas,” she said after she pulled away, a few seconds later, still holding Jaehee close to her. 

With her thumb, Jaehee caressed Chaeyoung’s cheek, and she closed her eyes, leaning into her touch completely, pressing her forehead to hers. She wondered, for the millionth time perhaps, how she had gotten so lucky to trip upon this woman. 

Jaehee whispered against her lips, voice made of marshmallow fluff: “Merry Christmas, my dear.”