#CMBnetwork | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jiminwreckedme · 6 years ago

Text

The Distance Between Us

Strange Connections, Stranger Chemistry - Mini Series.

| The Beginning | Everything In Between | The End |

AU - Married, Business.

Genre - Angst, Implied smut in later parts.

Word count - 24K

Summary -Not all love stories are she loved him and he loved her. Not all love stories are that simple. But it isn’t love which is complicated either.

It’s the people in love who are.

Tags -@gwynethjodie, @softkomorebi, @itsinseoul thank for you for always being there <3

Song - It’s alright, it’s love.

As you slowly step on the brake, the hand which was wiping off the crumbs of the tuna sandwich you just had, returns to the steering wheel. Swallowing the last of your brunch urgently, you divert your attention once more to the phone call. “Ash, how about you send me the documents now? I can go through the recorded results and get back to you by the evening.”

“Are you sure you finish the verification by the evening Y/n?” The sound of her voice echoes in the car as you turn left, into the parking lot. “You don’t seem to be at headquarters and you know the deadline is tonight right?”

“Yeah, I know.” Reversing the car, you keep your eyes on the mirror, but your attention is equally on the phone call. Multitasking. With a career that’s all about multitasking, you are pretty good at it by now.

“Will you be back by then? When can you reach by?”

“About an hour or two?” You check for all your belongings, grab your laptop bag and your wallet from behind to place it on the front seat. Leaning a little forward you strip off your white coat and toss it to the back. “I’m at the airport Ash, and that’s not exactly close to the lab. It’ll take me a while to reach.”

“Ah yes you told me about the airport but, why again, are you at the there?”

You freeze, growing unnaturally silent at your assistant’s question. You didn’t exactly realize but a whole awkward minute passes before you hear her voice again, snapping you out of thoughts you weren’t even having. Because your mind is absolutely blank.

“Y/n are you there?”

“Huh? Yeah…I’m here to pick up uh.…” You tensely swallow nothing. “To pick up someone I know”

“Ah, okay.” Her voice is normal. She didn’t notice the hesitancy or the uncertainty in your answer. “Be sure to come back on time. I’ll forward the results to you as soon as I get back to headquarters yeah? I’m kinda out for lunch right now.”

“OK. Cool.” Your voice is tight as you cut the call and the silence of the closed space of your car takes over. Sinking back into the softness of the driver’s seat till your head hits the head rest, you shut your eyes and tensely pinch the bridge of your nose. He’s coming. He’s going to be here. With you. In your house. In your space.

In your life.

Stepping out you collect your things and shut the door as your car gives the click of the lock behind you. Gripping your laptop bag tight, tucking your phone in the back pocket of your jeans, you make your way through the crowd, towards the arrival hall of the airport, heart surely pounding much faster than you’ve learned it’s scientifically supposed to.

It’s late Saturday morning. The sun is blazing like never before, making you long for the coolness of the air conditioning of your car. As sweat makes its way down your neck, your formal wear is uncomfortably beginning to stick to your skin, the material starting to itch. You speeden your footsteps, the clicking of your pumps getting louder, faster, matching the pace of your erratic heartbeat.

But the longing you had minutes ago is gone as soon as you step in the large hall buzzing with people, the constriction of the loud crowd even more annoying than the weather outside. Each person in the crowd moves as if unseeing hands drag them this way and that, pulling their eyes to one thing and then another. They respond in predictable ways, each of them running with a goal to achieve for the day. But you choose to stop.

You stop at the center of the hall as the crowd regardless, makes its way unbothered, parting from either side of you. Taking a moment, you check the old bronze colored watch ticking away on your thinning, paling wrist. 15 minutes. That’s all you have before he’s here. It’s too much and too little time both at once. You shut your eyes tight and let out a long sigh through your mouth, nodding and muttering to yourself, hand tapping away on your heart. “It’s okay…just relax….just relax…”

As you walk ahead you find yourself in front of the sliding glass doors of the arrival hall, the big digital screen flashing that the flight from Seoul has only just landed. That means he is yet to alight, clear immigration, collect his luggage - it would take a while for him to come, so standing and waiting here would only be a waste of time. And a pain in your already aching knees.

Looking around you thank the heavens when you notice the nearby coffee shop, and more importantly an empty table. The moment your rear touches the seat you waste no time in opening your laptop and pulling out the files from your bag, trying to resume the work you had pending - your attempt to utilize time better. A futile attempt.

As your coffee order comes, it sits on the table growing cold, untouched. The pages of your file turn, fluttering due to the occasional gust of wind. The battery of your laptop drains away, the percentage getting lesser and lesser but never mind touching the keypad, you didn’t even look at the screen once.

Head resting on your interlocked hands with your elbows propped on the table, your eyes are fixed on the many people hauling their luggage out of the glass doors. You were the kind trained to observe your surroundings a lot. What people did, their behavior, the little details about their actions and reactions, everything. Being a scientist, keen observation is a skill that naturally comes to you. But that is the last thing you are doing now. Right now your eyes are searching. Searching pointlessly for the one you were waiting for even though the last thing you want to do is to see him.

The thought of him shouldn’t have crossed your mind like this. With all the work you have and being the workaholic that you are, the thought of him should have absolutely not crossed your mind. But like every day in the past three months, it did. And more today than ever before. Perhaps because he’s so close. Or perhaps because even after being this close, he might be so far. Because you knew the distance between you was bound to grow. It was meant to.

And as necessary as that was for you, that hard it was. Staying far was really hard. Getting closer was much harder. And it was thoughts like this that made the last few days so very difficult. It took a hell lot of time and energy to convince and persuade yourself to get prepared to finally see him again. You thought you were ready. You thought you were ready to have him in your life once more but….

But as the crowd parts and sunlight unnecessarily makes its way from the glass windows above to shine on him, every cell of your body tells you that you are far from ready to have him back again. With a bag over his shoulders, a jacket in his hand and dragging his suitcase behind him, he casually walks in your direction, though he doesn’t seem to have noticed your presence. While you should have got up and neared the doors to let him see you, you sit still, maintaining the same stance but the only difference was….

You forgot to breath.

His tousled dark brown hair, looks more thick and lustrous than you remembered it but his eyes are the same mesmerizing brown, flecks of golden light performing a beautiful ballet. His face somehow has stronger and more defined features - The dark eye brows are sloped downwards in a serious expression, his usually playful smile is drawn into a hard line across his face. A prominent jaw curves gracefully around and the strength of his neck shows in the twining cords of muscle that shaped his entire body; strong arms, bold thighs and calves, a firm chest and abdomen. You unnecessarily remember how women used to sigh when he walked down the streets of the city beside you years ago.

As a boy though he didn’t attract the girls. He was far too chubby and his nearly hiding his eyes as he smiled. His horrible sense of style didn’t help either. But by fourteen he was shaping up, he had muscles from biathlon training and skiing all winter. By twenty it wasn’t just the girl who were after him. He had grown into the mesmerizing features you see before you, his bone structure was fine and perfectly symmetrical. It wasn’t exactly just manly. It was strangely beautiful.

He makes his way out of the partition of glass and stands still, searching for something on the boards hanging high above, dangling from the ceiling, before letting out a sigh of recognition and walking straight towards you. Even though you were here to pick him up, suddenly, your body is not cooperating, screaming at you to stray from your purpose. You desperately wish that he leaves without noticing you as you bury your face in your hands, hiding miserably from him. And it works because he goes straight pass you, his eyes only just missing you as he looks around, proceeding towards the taxi stand. You look up and over your shoulder and see him walk further and further away, before relaxing your tense body in relief. But as you return to normal, you remember what his mother said to you on the phone a couple of days ago, guilt surging up. ‘Take care of my son for me Y/n, please….He only has you there.’

Though your body is naturally protesting, hurriedly you push your chair back and stand up, shutting your laptop harshly and stuffing it into your bag hastily. Grabbing all your files in your arms and abandoning your coffee, you make your way rushing through the crowd, banging against a dozen shoulders, stepping on a couple of feet, muttering apologies and excuse mes. When you finally reach him, his back is facing you and he’s humming a beautiful something, tapping his foot, his dancer body slightly swaying. You uncertainly lick your lips, blinking too hard and too many times before extending a shaking arm to tap him softly on the shoulder, balancing the things you were carrying in the wedge created by your body and the other arm. But before you can even make contact with him, a certain unknown someone runs right into you, without noticing your outstretched arm, and everything you are holding tumbles to the ground.

“Bloody hell.” You mutter as you stare down at your scattered things, your violator having far disappeared in the crowd in whatever emergency his or her rushed act was out of. “Doesn’t even have the decency to apologize…”

“Y/n?”

You look up hearing his voice, as he turns around recognizing yours. His face is outlined with slight disbelief and pleasant shock.

“Jimin.” You breath out. You hadn’t taken a proper breath in so long.

And it takes a while, the two of you simply standing, staring at each other, drinking in the delicate details you had so badly missed the last three months. Things were so different before. Every time, every year you went to Seoul, things were so different…..

“Y/n!!!”

Jimin waves at you practically bouncing up and down like a mad man the moment he notices you walking through the crowd. You wave back even more enthusiastic, ignoring the momentary strict stare your father gives asking you to behave. But like always, he smiles seeing the two of you acting like the children, the years of friendship enough to melt his heart. You launch yourself into Jimin’s arms the moment you reach him and he hugs you back with an intensity that lifts you off your feet. As you pull back, red and flushed, Jimin beams at you putting you down, arms still around you.

“Oh thank god you’re finally here! Summer was getting boring without you.” He gives you a heartfelt, genuine smile that makes your heart skip a beat.

“My summer is always fun, regardless of your presence.” You tease him smilingly as he laughs.

“That’s what you say all the time. But you know you need me Y/n.” He smirks playfully taking a bag from you, holding your hand instead. “You always want me to be there.”

It’s so true in so many ways but he doesn’t see it the way you want him to. You know he doesn’t and that he probably never will so you laugh it off. “Yeah, yeah, whatever….. Let’s go home! I’m dying to see everyone.”

“Right this way.” He smiles and leads you and your father to the car, your hand still in his.

“Y/n, you’re here?”

Jimin’s voice leaves him uncertainly before his lips curl into a small, warm smile. “I didn’t think you were coming…..”

“I wasn’t going to.” You confess falsely. “Your mother called me last night and said I should….you know I can never say no to her.”

“She worries too much.” The smile on his face turns fond at the memory of his mother. “Just because I’ve never been out of Korea till now, she probably thinks that one step into another country and I’m dumb enough to get myself killed.”

Normally you would have joked back or said something stupid. Something like ‘well she’s not wrong.’ or ‘She doesn’t think that, she knows you are dumb enough.’ But you don’t. Things have changed way too much between the two of you to casually let out something like that. Instead, you just nod.

“We should...um....We should pick up that.” Jimin gestures at the mess you are standing amidst, the mess you had long forgotten the moment you had seen his face. You quickly bend down mentally chiding yourself and Jimin mirrors your act, gathering all the papers, the two of you careful to not even accidentally brush each other’s hand.

As you stand, he hands you the papers but doesn’t let go when you try to take them.

“I’m glad you came Y/n.” His voice is soft but you can’t tell if he’s happy to see you in particular or just anyone he knows in this unknown country. You tug the papers a little harder, subtly forcing him to let go and swallow nervously before answering, not meeting his eye.

“The car is this way.”

Jimin stares at you for a minute as you begin to walk away, disappearing in the crowd, before following. You keep discreetly glancing at him over your shoulder though, making sure you don’t lose him amongst these people but with the way his eyes are so carefully on you, you don’t think he’ll lose you at all.

When you reach the car, wordlessly the two of you haul the luggage in the boot and he sits in the passenger seat next to you as you take your place behind the steering. And the car moves forward, but there are no words being exchanged, no smiles, no laughters, no music playing, the windows aren’t rolled down. Instead all there is is the same silence that would have been there in the lack of human presence. Or when two strangers travel together.

You are only just getting accustomed to the unusual silence but it’s ruined before you can cherish it with the harsh ring of a phone call, the name of your boss flashing on the screen.

“Oh fuck.” Looking apologetically at Jimin for your choice of words, you hurriedly pick the call, forgetting for a moment that it’s attached to your car’s system and when the male voice booms through the speakers of the car Jimin looks utterly taken aback.

“Y/n.”

“Jin.”

“Ashley tells me you are at the airport. I only just remembered you took permission for the day off around last week.”

You briefly shut your eyes, annoyed that Jimin now knows your presence with him had been planned for a long time now. But he doesn’t seem to have noticed, going through his phone, probably taking it off flight mode to inform his worried mother about this safe arrival. It’s a stupid move, trying to look at his reaction because when you look ahead you are forced to slam the brakes as you notice the red signal and the cars aligned before you.

“Careful Y/n!” Jimin panics at your sudden act as you lean back, relieved that you were quick enough to avoid any damage with the car before you.

“Ah” Jin’s voice makes a return. “I see you have picked him up Y/n.” You can feel your knees shaking for some reason. “This must be Mr. Park.” And your heart beating faster once again. “The husband?”

You look straight ahead at the road, hands gripping the steering wheel a lot tighter than normal. Yet you can feel Jimin’s eyes on you and his throat move the same way as yours. But you say nothing.

Jimin blinks slowly before nodding pointlessly, his voice leaving him like an uncertain croak. “Yeah.”

“Well then my dear boy, I hope you know how fortunate you are to have a life partner as lovely as Y/n. She’s stubborn, oh yes. She’s unnecessarily stubborn, over thinks a lot more than necessary, can be a real pain in the ass sometimes. But she’s a sweetheart. An absolute gem of a person.”

It’s not your senior’s words that affect you. It’s Jimin’s reply to it. “I know.”

“So, do take good care of her young man. Get her to strain a little less at work. The poor woman hasn’t smiled in days.”

Jimin nods again. “I’ll do my best.”

“Now that’s like my boy!... and Y/n?”

“Yes sir?”

“Take your time with that report. I know your husband’s home after a long time and you’ll have…things you need to catch up on.” He snickers making your insides squirm uncomfortably. “I shall see you after the weekend. Take care and…have fun.” The noise of his laughter echoes in the car before he cuts the call.

Jimin doesn’t meet your eye after that for a long time. He pretends like he’s fascinated by London’s right hand driving unlike how he’s used to the left handed system in Seoul. You know though that though his eyes are on the road, his mind is not. Neither is yours anyway.

It takes another 45 minutes of silence to reach home. The home you had so far only shared with him financially. Now you had to share the same space as well. As you unlock the door and hold it open for him, Jimin walks in dragging his luggage behind, curiously looking around at the small but sufficient two story house which will now define his life.

You turn on the fans to get rid of the stuffy heat in the room.

Jimin places his suitcase by the couch.

You sit down on the couch.

He sits down across you.

You rub your hands together, not sure what else to do.

Jimin is tapping his foot looking around.

The awkward silence governs the place once more.

Jimin clears his throat a little too loudly. “Uh....It’s a nice place.”

You nod. “I was worried you wouldn’t like it because you didn’t see it before I bought it”

“Clearly that wasn’t a problem.” He looks up at the ceiling, observing the switched off lights. “I’ve always liked your choices anyways.”

It’s small things like this that he says that makes you hate his presence more. Things he lets out so casually without even thinking about how they might affect you. You think fast, trying to change the topic.

“I haven’t had the chance to fully furnish this place yet, I’ve been extensively busy the last three months so...”

“Oh that’s fine. I can help out now that I’m here.”

It would be a great help if you weren’t even here actually.

“So…this is the living room.” You point as his eyes follow your finger. “The kitchen is that way. There’s a back door over there too. and a small garage outside. The stairs lead up to the second floor, one half of which is an open terrace, and the other half has a bedroom with an attached bathroom, the other bedroom is down here.”

Jimin nods, walking to the edge of the stairs, looking up as you prepare yourself to make certain things clear to him. “This my bedroom and office room. It’s perhaps the most occupied as of now. I’ve got a lot of things stacked there the past three months. The bedroom upstairs is empty...as of now.”

As of now. You want him to understand without you having to say it. Without having to say, this my room. I sleep here. That is your room, you sleep there and so we stay like this. Like strangers.

You can’t make out if he’s understood or not. He’s just looking at his hands, his face expressionless as he lifts it and sees you. “Is there food in the house? I haven’t had anything since last night....”

Food? He wants food? How is he being so casual with you? Rather, why is he being so casual with you?

“I don’t cook.” You confess. “Or eat at home much as a matter of fact so there’s nothing....there’s a convenience store down the street. There’s ramen and a couple of other stuff available there.”

“Really?” He looks so happy at the thought of eating Korean food overseas. The fact that right now he is feeling completely opposite to what you are going through, annoys you. “That’s good. I’ll get us something then. What do you want to eat-”

“I’m not eating here.” You hate it. You hate how normal he’s being with you. Things are not normal anymore. The two of you cannot be like this with each other anymore. “I had brunch and I’ll have something at the canteen in my workplace.”

“You’re going back to work?” Jimin looks confused “I though your boss said-”

You get up, fists forming balls, unable to take his casual behavior with you anymore.

“My work is most important to me Jimin.” You can feel your gaze harden with a strange anger. “I left my family, a business empire, the place I grew up in, everything. I left everything for my work. I don’t prioritize anyone or anything over it. Ever.”

Jimin looks surprised by your words but he composes himself quickly and nods. He opens his mouth to say something, apologize maybe. But you don’t want to hear it. You turn around, walking away and stop at the entrance. “The store is that way, down the street turn right.”

Jimin gets up and walks behind you, shutting the door behind him. As you get into the car, he walks out of the gate wordlessly. No kisses, no goodbyes. Only two strangers walking away.

As you turn left at the end of the street, Jimin turns right walking away under the sun and you watch through the mirrors of your car, the distance between you getting bigger and bigger.

And like that summer turned into autumn.

Everything changed. The leaves turned into a beautiful orangish brown, fluttering along the wind. The weather got colder, the clouds, darker, and the day shorter. But nothing changed between Jimin and you. You both were still very much married, under the same roof but in different rooms, still like strangers.

For a week after Jimin’s arrival you barely made an effort to stay at home. You started spending more time in the labs, took responsibility for more experiments than you could handle, turned into more of a workaholic than ever. The few hours a day you came home, Jimin was either sleeping or he was out, roaming around clubs and bars like he used to back in the day. Though the few instances you were both at home at the same time, neither of you made an effort to talk to each other. You weren’t really avoiding or ignoring each other. Rather it was as though there was nothing to talk about. It was so strange in so many ways. Never in the last so many years did you and Jimin ever run out of things to talk about but here you were today, not even looking for excuses to converse.

Approximately two weeks later, Jimin took the decision to take over the family business. Since that day, it surprised you but he was around in the house for even less time than you were. Every morning you’d see him rush out dressed in formal suits, his laptop bag swung over his shoulder, still tightening his tie or putting on his cuff links as he hurried out. And when you came back he either not there or in his room taking some or the other conference calls.

You didn’t know why but Jimin’s attitude affected you. Even though he was doing the exact same thing you did all these days, his behaviour disappointed you. Because despite everything, despite how much you were distancing yourself from him, despite you not taking any effort to heal the fragile relationship between you two, somewhere deep down, you hoped at least Jimin would make an effort. You wished at least Jimin would try and talk to you. Even though you didn’t want to have a conversation with him or anything to do with him you wished he’d show some gesture that he cared, that all this means something to you.

But part of you was happy with how things were too, you didn’t want Jimin knowing how much this meant to you. You couldn’t imagine how much more complicated things would be then.

So since time waited for no one, days went by like that. Jimin didn’t making any efforts and so neither did you.

It is perhaps after this night that everything began to change.

It’s nearly two when you turn into your alley, switching off the headlights of your car. Usually at this time of the night, the lights of your house are the only ones on. Because unlike normal people who sleep, the dead of the night is your favorite companion to work with. Despite your absence, you expected the lights to be on, considering Jimin’s presence. But they’re not. Has he gone to sleep?

But Jimin always sleeps with a small light on. The dark windows of you house are suddenly making you feel peculiar.

Quickly turning into your garage, you park your car noticing Jimin’s car isn’t there yet. Hurrying a little you get out of your car and urgently tried to open the door to you house, only to find it unlocked. Opening it slowly, you step in carefully, fear gripping your heart with every step in the darkness. As you approach the sofa, you can hear the sounds of deep breathing and so you raise your laptop bag over your head and just before you smash it down you hear a familiar groan.

“Jimin?”

You quickly walk to the wall, flipping the switches on to see him sitting on the couch with his legs spread wide, tie loosened, blazer discarded by his side as his head rested back on the sofa.

“What the hell are you doing in the darkness Jimin, I got a fucking fright of my life.”

“I...uh….” He slurrs slowly stirring, pulling himself up. “I just….I probably fell asleep the moment I came....”

You frown a little at his voice. You can’t make out if he’s tired....or drunk. Jimin wasn’t really an alcoholic but his love for alcohol is not unknown to you. But he was working these days, so you thought he’d be staying away from all this for now. Did he get back into it?

“Jimin did you drink?”

“What? No, no I-”

“Where’s your car? And why didn’t you lock the front door?”

“Yoongi dropped me home today, I wasn’t feeling so good, I sort of just walked in and fell on the couch. I must’ve forgotten to lock the door.”

Though you want to give Jimin a long lecture of what the repercussions of leaving the door unlocked were, you didn’t think it was a good idea seeing how tired he was.

“I should go shower, I have calls to make later.” Jimin gets up, taking one, two steps forward before his knees gave away and you immediately catch him, arms around his waist.

“Jimin, careful!” He balances himself with his arm around your shoulder as you help him straighten out. “What’s wrong with you?” You look at how pale he looks and how his eyes keep threatening to roll back. “When did you last eat Jimin?”

“Last night.” He speaks slowly as your mouth parted in shock.

“What? Last night? You haven’t eaten anything since last night? It’s bloody 2 Am in the morning Jimin that’s over 24 hours, why didn’t you eat?”

“I was busy. I had meetings and other-”

“There’s no excuse you can give as reason greater than having your meal Jimin.”

“I know but I genuinely had no time, maybe that’s why I feel so weak.”

Helping him stand properly you instantly make up your mind, worried about him.

“Sit, I’ll make something.” You drop your laptop bag and files on the couch and roll up your sleeves, walking towards the kitchen. Jimin walks behind you.

“You don’t need to Y/n, you’re probably tired. I’ll-”

“I don’t need you fainting around the house in exhaustion-”

“It’s just till tomorrow morning, I’ll get something to eat-”

“Just sit. Please.”

Jimin knows you for long enough to know when to not argue with you so he silently sits on the stool by the kitchen bar table as you proceed to wash your hands and then scrounge the cupboards for any not expired, edible ingredients. Finding a few you align them, cleaning and chopping them away, trying to whip up something as soon as you can. But you’re so immersed in your work, you don’t see Jimin who leaning on the surface of the table, slowly shutting his eyes, tiredness tempting his body to fall asleep.

It’s only when you fully prepare the meal that you see the fast asleep man, head resting on a single outstretched arm, and sit down across him. You watch him breathing rhythmically, lost in his own dream world - a world you had always longed to be a part of. The bowl of ramen next to you is letting out steam, growing cold, but you can only find yourself thinking of how different things were, once more.....

“Open your mouth.” You are holding a piece of Gimbap with chopsticks, waiting for Jimin to eat it.

“I’m full Y/n!”

“One last bite~ please.”

“It’s the fifth time you are saying that now.”

“Jimin.”

“Y/n.”

“Please.” You pout.

“No.” He pouts.

You narrow your eyes at him as he looks up at you, his head resting on your outstretched legs as the two of you picnic under the cherry blossom tree. “Get up then.”

“No, I like it like this.” He resumes reading his book, lifting it, hiding his face from you.

“But you don’t like eating food I made?” You pull the book from his grip as he protests then lets out a sigh.

“As your best friend Yn, I’ll be honest, it’s my duty to be honest. The food you cook...it tastes pathetic Y/n-”

“What?!”

“-I honestly, pity the man fated to marry you-”

“How dare you Park Jimin?”

“-He’s going to have a really tough time-”

“Get up.”

“What?”

“Get up you idiot. I’m leaving.” You snap, pushing him away, as he laughs, sitting up. As you try to stand, huffing, he holds your hand, eyes looking at you earnestly.

“Hey, you know I’m kidding right?”

“I don’t care.” You roll your eyes but he pulls you harder, and you fall onto your back on the mat, and he lies down next to you.

“You know whoever you marry will be one of the luckiest people on the planet right?” He turns his head to you, a fond expression filling his face.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” You brush it off, but you can feel the heat rise in your cheeks.

“But just promise me on thing.”

“And what is that?”

“That you’ll never cook for him.”

“Jim-in!” You smack his chest but you’re laughing and so is he, the pink cherry blossoms gracefully falling around the two of you.

“Jimin?” You pat his hand as he slowly sits up, blinking multiple times. He looks at you yawning, then at the food on the table, the food that’s growing cold.

“Oh...I just closed my eyes for a minute.” He then sniffs the air and smiles. “Is that ramen?”

“Yeah.” You push the pot towards him, holding out chopsticks.

“And you?” He raises an eyebrow.

“I’m still not hungry” Lies. A lie that is caught immediately because your stomach lets out a very audible grumble. Your ears turn red, embarrassed, as Jimin looks at you, his eyebrow still up.

He stands up and grabs a pair of chopsticks that are lying on the kitchen counter and hands it to you. “This is too much for me. I don’t want to waste food.”

Lies again. Jimin can eat a feast’s worth of food when he’s hungry. This is nothing. It was hardly enough for one person.

But because your stomach is demanding it so badly, you take it from him and the two of you eat from the pot, only sounds of slurping filling the kitchen. Hunger is such a powerful thing. Within minutes there is nothing left, not even slight evidence that there was food in the vessel some time ago. The two of you have finished it clean.

You stand up and wash your utensils.

Jimin washes his.

You wipe your hands with the towel.

Jimin takes it after you and does the same.

Slowly the two of you leave the kitchen, you behind him as you switch off the light with a click.

Jimin walks towards the couch, takes his bag and blazer and turns to you. He doesn’t say anything.

And as usual, you don’t as well.

But time is ticking and sleep is coming and the sun is only a few hours away from rising.

“Do you feel better now?”

“Yeah, much. Thank you, Y/n.”

You nod. “I’ll just....I should go....” You point to your bedroom awkwardly and Jimin immediately agrees. “Yeah me too.”

He turns around and walks away, up the stairs, till he reaches the last step and you hear him mutter something. Something he perhaps didn’t wish you’d hear.

“Goodnight Y/n.”

You smile sadly at that. At how difficult it was to say something that simple out loud. But you find yourself whispering as well.

“Goodnight Jimin.”

And days went by like that.

Even though you both were as busy and uninteractive as before, both of you had somehow come to a small silent agreement.

The day after he fainted, you went to the supermarket and stored all your cupboards with proper edible items that you could cook with. That night you made Jimin a meal more decent than ramen and waited for him for long. It was a little stupid decision because you had no idea when he’d be back and you knew from how things have been the past few months that Jimin usually came home very, very late. The next morning you had somehow woken up in your bed, the last thing you remembered being, waiting for him in the dining room, perhaps sleeping on the table itself. When you confusedly came out of your room you noticed the house was silent which meant Jimin wasn’t here but on the table was a small note next to a glass of milk and a bowl of cereal.

“Dinner was amazing thank you Y/n but please, don’t wait up so late for me. Also I noticed you have a bad habit of not having breakfast, so here’s something for you. - Jimin”

You smile at the note a little, sitting down to eat what he laid out for you. Right before you left though you scribbled a small Thank you on a paper and left it at the exact same place for him to find.

And that soon became a routine. Every night you would make a simple dinner, keep his share aside with a small note with two words thanking him for breakfast and every morning you’d wake up to breakfast laid out for you, with a note thanking you for dinner. After a while, thanking each other like this was exhausting and silly but you both somehow made it a point to do it. It was the only form of interaction you had anyways and those two words said so many things to you.

If he scribbled it messily you could tell it was a long day for him and he’s tired. If there was an exclamation mark you could tell he was really hungry and actually really grateful for having dinner. On the rare days he drew a smiley, you knew the food tasted really nice. Once he drew a small heart though. You had no idea what that could have meant.

Sometimes he even left you messages. You remembered walking in one morning to see a longer note than usual.

“My office needed an eraser badly, taking one of your rubbery chickens to do the job. Loved dinner! Thank you.”

You genuinely laughed out loud at his message, quickly losing it to a realisation that even after being miles apart, despite everything, Jimin could still make you smile. Nevertheless, in response you scribbled back,

“I hope my chicken has served you well, meanwhile I have eaten so much cereal I’d could be called a serial killer.”

The next morning you met with a response that made you smile again.

“The chicken did it’s duty beyond expectations. Also I cannot believe you made such a horrible joke.. Here’s something to make you less of a murderer.”

And on the table was a plate with toast and jam and Jimin made you smile once more as you sat down to eat.

It is maybe two months or so after things are going this way.

You are quietly laying out dinner on the table for yourself one Friday night when you hear the front door being opened. When you glance at the clock it’s 12, too early for Jimin to come back home. But when the door opens it indeed is Jimin with a couple of bags in his hands as though he had shopped somewhere.

“You’re early today.”

He looks taken aback by your voice, not expecting your presence.

“And you’re later than usual.” He observes looking at the clock as he walks in.

“There’s a new project starting in the lab,” You walk into the kitchen and so does he. “I had some quotation work to submit.”

“You’re in charge of it?”

You nod, smiling at the thought. You were so happy when Jin asked you to finally take charge of one of the labs biggest, most important experiments ever. It was such an honour and you had been waiting for months for such an opportunity.

“That’s great Y/n. You worked so hard all these days, you totally deserve it.”

“Thank you Jimin. But what about you?”

“Well.” He sets down the bags on the kitchen bar table looking relieved. “My latest project just ended and so, no more extra hours to put in.” He smiles at you looking happy. “This is my first project since I took over but the best part is it also happens to be the biggest successful project the company has ever seen Y/n.”

“Jimin that’s amazing.” You lean over, elbows on the surface, standing across him. “I’m so happy and so proud of you.”

“Thank you.” He reaches out and holds your hand in his, slowly stroking the back of it with his thumb. “It would have been very hard if not for you.”

“Me? But I didn’t do anything-”

“I’m so thankful that you’re around. Despite eating in high end restaurants for lunch every day, I’m grateful to have your simple dinner when I come back home. I’m glad that because of you, there’s a home to come back to. It makes me happy that you’re my home Y/n.”

You gulp on nothing at his words. You don’t want to hear them. You don’t ever want to hear such words. Slowly you take your hand back from him as he lets it go, feeling a little awkward too and you clear your throat.

“What’s all this?” You look pointedly at the bags he placed on the counter.

“Oh that? Champagne. I thought today was worthy of a little celebration and luckily, you’re here too. We can celebrate together. A toast for the start of a great project and completion of another.”

The moment he suggests spending time together, you instantly want to say no. You don’t want to eat with him and most definitely don’t want to celebrate. You know that despite wanting to live with him as a stranger you went out of your way, making his meals for him and all that, but you were constantly worried. You were worried Jimin was going to get the idea that things were okay between you two and things were going to get better now. But you didn’t want anything to get okay, you didn’t want anything to change from how they currently were. It took a lot of strength and courage for you to reach the decision of keeping distance and you did want to maintain it. So this dinner was the worst idea there could be, you should have said no.

But you were happy today and so was he. You both were happy for your own reasons and just for tonight you thought maybe, just maybe it was okay. It was perhaps okay to forget everything for just one night and let loose and enjoy the aspects of his presence that made you happy. You wanted to forget for once that you were married, and how and why you were married, you wanted to forget everything and just enjoy with a man who had just as much reason to celebrate as you. So you look at him for a thoughtful second and nod slowly and Jimin smiles both happily and with relief.

“Not all of that isn’t champagne though.” He loosens his tie and rolls up his sleeves as he walks in to take out two glasses. You steer your eyes far away from him. “Some of them are cereal boxes, the household was running out of breakfast.”

You smile at his thoughtfulness as you slowly begin stacking the boxes in the cupboard, while Jimin cleans the barely used glasses.

“And that?” Other than the champagne bottle there is only one, a much fancier bag sitting on the counter that hardly looked like it came from a grocery store.

“Oh that, yeah I was meaning to talk to you about it. Why don’t you open it, I’ll be back.”

Jimin grabs the glasses and bottle walking away to the dining table as you slowly pull out a black box from the bag and lift its lid. By the looks of it, it’s a dress, a deep red one, the kind of colour Jimin always told you suited you the best and as you run your hand over it you could tell its beauty from the feel of the material under your fingers.

“Do you like it?” Jimin returns, leaning by the doorway.

“Yeah who wouldn’t, it looks beautiful but….why this…”

“There’s a celebration party tomorrow in the evening and everyone insisted on meeting you and I’d like it if they all know you too. I thought it would be nice to gift you something to wear on the occasion.”

“Jimin…” You hesitate not knowing how to tell him. “That...that’s sweet of you but I work on Saturdays, tomorrow is a working day for me and I’ve just been made in charge of a project I shouldn’t…..”

“Oh.” Jimin’s face falls but in an instant, he changes his expression. “It’s alright I totally get it….um work first, I know. It’s okay you can meet them all some other time, I hopefully will have many more successful projects like this.”

“You will Jimin, I know you will.”

“Anyways we have wine and dinner for tonight, this should be celebration enough.”

You nod slowly and apologetically as you close the box and put it back in its bag. Jimin walks into the dining room and as you follow and sit down on the chair he’s already pulled out for you. Being the over excited person he is, he shakes the bottle a little, before popping it open, spilling the drink everywhere.

“We have to clean all that you know.” You hand him the glasses, as he begins to pour into them, brushing away your concerns.

“There’s no point of champagne if we don’t do that.” He hands you a glass and takes one himself. “To me for finishing my first of many projects and to you for embarking on another of your many successful projects.” He raises his glass, clinking it with yours. “To us.”

“To us.” You carefully repeat and take a sip as Jimin downs the entire glass in a gulp.

“Oh god Jimin.” You roll your eyes at him, shaking your head, reminded of the wild sixteen-year-old rebellious Jimin. “I can’t believe you still drink alcohol like that.”

Jimin nods slowly swallowing it to the last drop. “Yeah, I do. Nothing’s changed Y/n, I don’t know why anything should.”

You look up, placing your glass down, wondering what he truly means as he avoids your eye. Was he talking about you? You hoped not. You were hoping this dinner wasn’t going to involve this sort of conversation, you didn’t want to regret this decision. But now he was bringing up whatever is between two of you. You should make it clear. You should tell him that yes, things had changed, they aren’t friends anymore and nothing was going to change them back to that. But Jimin doesn’t give you the chance to talk.

“Don’t worry Y/n, I just wanted to get a proper taste, it’s been a while since I’ve touched alcohol.” He sits down leaning back. “I can’t wait till tomorrow’s party is over, God I can’t wait to drink like a normal human again.”

“Normal humans don’t drink like you Jimin, please.”

Nodding in agreement and pouring himself another glass, Jimin laughs at that, and you instantly forget all you had to talk to him about.

And as the two of you ate and drank for over two hours that night, you didn’t remember the last time you talked to Jimin so much. It had been years. Years since just the two of you had such interactions and you loved every minute of it. You loved every minute you talked to Jimin. You loved everything he told you about his business and what he did, you loved it when he so keenly listened about all your experiments though you knew he didn’t understand anything. You told him all about how you found this house and he told you all about how he made little changes to it that you didn’t even notice.

Conversation was going so smoothly that for a while you really did forget everything. You forgot you were wedded and your relationship was barely a marriage. You forgot how for months together the both of you barely didn’t have a decent conversation. You forgot that now you were no longer those bickering teenagers who hung out together all the time. You forgot all this until dinner was over and there were no reasons left to continue conversation which meant, it was time to go. It was time for him to go to his room and for you to go to yours. That was when reality came crashing on you. That the last two hours of your life were a beautiful lie and now it was time to face the harsh reality. That this was a one-time thing and you weren’t going to allow it to happen again. That after tonight, despite whatever happened, nothing would change. You would still be strangers.

You look up at Jimin, preparing to tell him about this, but he beats you to the conversation.

“My ceiling is chipping off.” Jimin casually mentions as you stack the plates one above the other, clearing the table.

“What?” You look up confused, stopping your work.

“The fake ceiling? It’s plaster of paris is sort of cracking and falling apart, I was wondering if you had any contacts who could help me get it fixed.”

“You’re telling you were staying in a room where the ceiling could have potential just broken and crashed on you anytime, without a warning?”

Jimin blinks at you slowly. “….yes?”

“What the hell Jimin?” You look at him incredulously. “What if something had happened, what if it fell? Why didn’t you ask me before?”

“I…I don’t know….I didn’t get the chance to talk to you I guess.” You fall silent at his words. “Besides it only got worse today morning so I was meaning to talk to you about it tonight…which is now, so yeah, do you know anyone?”

“Yeah I do but it’s too late at night to get it fixed now.”

“I’ll get it done sometime over the weekend that’s okay-“

“And you’re going to stay there till then?”

Jimin nods his head and you let out a sigh.

“I don’t know how you are handling a business so big Jimin when you’re so dumb-“

“-Hey!-“

“Why in the world would you stay there after knowing its dangerous?-”

“Where else am I supposed to go?!-”

“This is no hut Jimin! It’s a proper, big two storey house are you telling me you’ve got no place-“

“Well, to sleep there’s only one other bedroom genius!-“

“Then go sleep there, you idiot!”

Jimin stutters at that and lowers his voice. “You sleep there. That’s your room.”

You fall silent along with him as he looks at you for a whole minute in deep thought then turns away.

“Look Y/n, it’s alright I-“

“Fine.”

“What?” Jimin is actually taken aback.

“Till your ceiling gets fixed you can sleep in my room.” It was a matter of a couple of days. You couldn’t prioritise Jimin’s safety over your stubbornness or relationship or whatever the whole deal and complication was.

“And you?” Jimin squinted, frowning a little in worry.

“I’ll sleep in kitchen.” You roll your eyes, walking away from the table taking the dishes with you. “Of course, I’ll sleep in my room Jimin, where else will I go?”

“With me?” You hear the sound of the chair moving backwards as you set the dishes in the sink, back facing him. Taking a deep breath, you nod.

“Yeah. With you.” You turn around to see him walking into the kitchen with the rest of the things in his hand. “If you don’t mind that is.”

“No, no! Of course not, besides….” Do not say we’ve done this multiple times Jimin. Don’t say it, not now. “It is your room.”

You purse your lips and nod. “Yeah, well, so that’s settled then.”

What you thought was a matter of just a dinner, just extended to a couple more days. But genuinely though, you didn’t mind. Health, safety and all of those sorts of things first. That’s why even though you were worried all those dinners gave Jimin the wrong idea, you didn’t mind. It gave you peace knowing he had at least proper meal a day. You could make things go back to what they were once everything was sorted. You could resume your general routine of being strangers once everything was alright again.

“I’ll help you clear up those.” Jimin steps up offering to do the dishes, but you stop him.

“No, that’s okay I’ll do it. You should go shower.” You know Jimin couldn’t sleep at night without showering. “I should be done here by the time you finish and then I’ll use the bathroom. Time will be saved that way because it’s getting late, I have work tomorrow.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, go.”

Jimin slowly leaves the kitchen nodding and you hear his footsteps getting softer and softer, finally allowing your tense shoulders relax and you let out the breath you had been holding.

Did you do the right thing? Propping your elbows on the surface, you half buried your face in your hands, pushing your fringes back. You just allowed Jimin to stay with you, in the same room. How did you go from barely seeing each other to living in same space, overnight? Why did this even happen? You had no idea how this was going to complicate things. After those conversations over dinner today and now this arrangement you had no idea how close you’d have to get to him and how much harder it will be now to go further. But like you thought before, if that meant he was safe, then maybe you could once more overlook and forget for now, what the repercussions all this meant.

After washing up quickly, silently you head to your room, calculating that by now Jimin must have finished showering and perhaps already gone to sleep so you confidently go into your room, not expecting to have to interact with him again. When you enter the room though, he is standing by the window with his back faced to you, talking softly on the phone, turning around at the sound of you opening the door. Quickly looking away you walk into the bathroom, shutting the door behind you, feeling nervous all over again. Sure, you had a long, casual two hour dinner and conversation with Jimin, and just sleeping in the same room as him should be no big deal. Sure, you had done this multiple times when you were young – sharing a bed, sleeping in his clothes, often with your limbs tangled under the sheets and now just lying down on the same bed shouldn’t be any different.

But it is. He wasn’t just a friend now, he was your husband, a man you married and all this seemed way too domestic now and that was exactly what you couldn’t have happening.

Washing your face, hoping to wash away your confused thoughts with it, you step out, and see that he’s lying on the bed now, his side of the lights switched off allowing you to see only a silhouette of his frame. You breath a sigh of relief, glad that at least further interaction could be avoided now and step into your wardrobe, changing into your pajamas when you hear him.

“You called my mother.”

“What?” You call out from inside, stripping out of your shirt.

“My mother called me after a long time today, said she heard about me nearly fainting and all that.”

“She called and asked.” You remember how the very next day after that night, his mother had called to inquire about the two of you. It was a true mother’s instinct. From all the way across the world she could sense her son wasn’t doing well. ‘He’s never had to struggle like this before Y/n, help him out. He needs you.’ That’s what she said and that’s what you did.

“How did she know I wasn’t doing well?”

“She’s your mother. She loves and cares for you. Of course she-“

“And you?”

You stop halfway through as Jimin’s question takes you aback. “What about me?”

“Do you?” If he was right in front of you, you know he would be looking you straight in the eye. Maybe then you would know which Jimin was asking this question. The man who is your husband or the man who was your friend? “Did you do all this, all these dinners and notes and coming to the party and all, was it because of love…. or responsibility?”

“I don’t understand.” You slip into your pyjamas quickly.

“Of course you do, if you weren’t smart enough to then you would never become a scientist.” You hear him let out a small laugh as you step out of the wardrobe, looking towards him keenly. “You’re a daughter Y/n and your father’s business needed to be saved, so you married me. I’m a son and my father’s business needed an heir and so despite how much I hate this corporate world, here I am doing it. We both are doing our responsibility as the children of our parents. But the woman who called to ask about me, my mother, she didn’t do it out of duty or responsibility…..that was out of love…..Y/n, it’s either love or responsibility that drives our actions and our decisions. Which one was it for you?” You stop by the mirror, looking at him through the reflection, still only seeing darkness. “All this….was this love or responsibility?”

“What kind of a silly question is this Jimin?” You go on to do your skincare routine, trying to avoid his question, but Jimin is persistent.

“Love or responsibility Y/n?”

You take a deep breath, turning around towards him. “Look Jimin, I don’t know what you want right now okay, but your mother specifically asked me to take care of you when you came here because you’re away from home for the first time, this is a new place and all, so of course I can’t have you fainting around the house because you can’t eat a meal on time-“

“So it was responsibility?” You can feel Jimin looking at you intently. “You’re doing this because my mom asked you to?”

“Yes…I mean no…I’d do it even if she didn’t, to be honest-“

“So it’s love?”

You stare at Jimin into the darkness not knowing what he wants.

You understand though, why he suddenly has so many questions – it’s because you let him have them. Because having this dinner with him like this today meant that you let him. Allowing him to stay here with you meant you let him. You subtly told him it was okay and that maybe things were getting better, that either things were changing or could change. But nothing was going to change. You couldn’t have things getting anymore complicated than they were. When you had decided to maintain distance, why didn’t you follow it? What did you attempt to mend the bridges and cover the distance, showing him that you cared?

“No. You’re right. It’s responsibility. But not just because your mother asked me but even for the sake of humanity. If we are living together then I think it’s natural for me to have to care for you. Does this answer your question?”

Jimin lets out a short laugh and turning to lie on his back. “I thought so.”

A silent minute passes by.

“And you?” You rubbed cream onto your hands, casually sliding the question. “What were those breakfasts for? Was that love or responsibility?”

Jimin is quiet for a bit. “I don’t think they are different things. Love and responsibility.”

You roll your eyes and start to walk towards the switches. “That literally was the easiest way to avoid giving an answer.”

“Responsibility.” Jimin calls out after you, as you switch off the remaining lights with a click. “If you want an honest, proper answer, then it’s responsibility…..”

“I thought so.” You reply, pulling the curtains shut, back facing him but he whispers something. You might have heard wrong. But he says something, something that sounded a lot like. “…..And love.”

When you turn around surprised, he’s turned around too, back facing you, not saying anything anymore. As you slowly slip into the covers, wondering if he’s asleep and if you should ask him if he actually said that, you hear him.

“Good night Y/n.”

You remember the last time you heard him say that, rather how you barely heard him say that. How things have changed since then. They need to go back there, you couldn’t have this happening, they need to go back to being distant. So you turn, back towards him and shut your eyes.

“Good night Jimin.”

The next evening you found yourself standing outside the hotel address you got from Jimin’s secretary all dressed appropriately for his success party – hair in a sleek bun, a floor length dress and slightly painful heels.

You thought about everything a lot since the morning. Sure, work was important but this was Jimin’s first success party. All his employees, everyone would be there. It would barely look nice for him to go alone when they all especially knew he was married. But you had just taken over the project yesterday and it would give a terrible impression to take a leave the very next day. What kind of view would that give your subordinates, what if they start seeing you as a slacker? And you bounced back and forth until you finally came to a decision.

You couldn’t let him go like that, the question was more than about sentiments it was about reputation as well. Reputation of both families and the company. Your presence there was important, you had to go.

When you looked for Jimin to tell him in morning expecting to see him the house now that he was more free, you didn’t find him. Instead on the dining table was the usual bowl of cereal and milk and a note.

“I really did enjoy last night Y/n. Thank you for being there. If you want to then maybe we can do this again sometime.”

You frowned at it. No. You couldn’t do this again. Yes you did enjoy last night, you enjoyed it like you enjoyed every minute you spent with Jimin all these years. But unlike before, these days things seem to have to come to an end and it was always an end that gave pain. You couldn’t let yourself keep walking down that road. Maybe deciding to go to the party was a wrong idea after all.

But here you are, slowly following the way to Jimin’s party hall, telling yourself this isn’t about you and him but the Park family and it was just a matter of one more night. It went from one dinner, to one night of sharing the same room as him, to another night of putting up the act of being his better half. One more pretense couldn’t hurt, you’d talk to him about keeping distance once this was over, you were sure you would.

Stopping right at the large entrance seeing the hundreds of people there, your social anxiety suddenly kicks in, telling you that you can turn back right now, you can go back to the lab and do your own work, alone, in silence. You can avoid interacting people and talking and all those things that made you fearful but you were here for not as a wife, not as a friend but the co-owner of the company and so you decide to stay.

Walking in towards the gathered crowd you realize that Jimin is standing in the middle of them all addressing them, thanking them for their efforts.

“……and you have all made this possible today. It’s not the company’s or it’s owners achievement. It’s the result of each and every one of your hard work and dedication. So thank you so much for everything and……” He trails off as his eyes fall on you while scanning the crowd and he breaks into a wide smile. “And there’s someone else who cannot be missed.” He walks towards you, ignoring your slight shakes of the head asking him not to draw the attention to you as he holds you by the hand pulling you to the center, next to him, hand around your waist.

“Meet my wife everyone, Mrs. Park Y/n, one of biggest pillars of support and one of my best friends in the whole world.” You try to make your smile seem as happy as possible but you didn’t think you could. Not when your heart was shattering knowing that what he said isn’t true anymore. As everyone claps for you and then disperses as Jimin announces that dinner is being served, he turns towards you, smiling brilliantly.

“I’m so happy you came Y/n.”

“I wanted to tell you in the morning but you left before I was even up.”

“I had arrangements to do for the party so….” You see him glance over at your dress, a periwinkle blue evening gown which was one of your absolute favourites.

“I wanted to wear the dress you bought but-“

“It’s okay Y/n, no pressure –“

“It didn’t fit me. I couldn’t get it altered in time so-“

“Really? I thought I had the size right?” Jimin looks thoughtful. “Tight or loose?”

“Tight.” You mumble as Jimin smiles a little.

“Someone putting on a little weight huh?”

“I blame you and your breakfasts.” You snap back and Jimin laughs throwing his head back, letting you hear what you always thought was one of the most beautiful sounds ever.

“Don’t even get me started about your dinners then.”

“Oh yeah,” You narrow your eyes at him. “Say something about my dinners, I dare you, Park Jimin.”

Jimin pretends to be scared as he hands you a glass of champagne and holds your hand, walking with you. “Oh no, I have no interest in dying so soon Y/n, I need to survive through this party.”

“After the party then.” You take a small sip. “Maybe over another dinner and a glass of wine.”

Jimin smiles widely, understanding your reply to his note in the morning, squeezing your hand gently. “I’d love that.”

And once again you messed up.

Once again, lost in the moment you shared with him you forgot you were not supposed to lead him on or give him any ideas of things becoming normal between you two. You didn’t want to have another dinner with him, you didn’t even want the first one. But here you were, silent once more, just because he was happy, just because he smiled and once again for him, you seem to be willing to shatter your heart.

You walk around with him hand in hand, talking to everyone as you stand by his side. Jimin is careful of you the entire time. He knows how you feel around crowds, how anxious and nervous you get, so he doesn’t make you talk to more than a few people at a time. He introduces you to everyone though, the words - My wife Park Y/n - in his voice are ringing through your ears the entire night. It feels surprisingly nice though, to have a reason to be out here next to him and allow yourself to pretend everything was normal. Maybe that’s why you weren’t saying anything. Because deep down, somewhere you wanted this normal relationship with him too despite forcing yourself to stay away from him. You want him but you push yourself away knowing you can’t have him, and Jungkook’s arrival confirms exactly that for you, crumbling everything between you and Jimin, pushing the reset button of your relationship.

“You’re looking for someone?” You watch as Jimin constantly has his eyes on the entrance.

“Huh?” Jimin turns to you. “Yeah, yeah Jungkook is coming.”

Jungkook, a really good friend of Jimin. After you left to London, Jimin often told you he only had Jungkook with him there. Since the two of you were a part of Jimin’s life at very different time periods, you had never met Jungkook but you were always thankful that unlike you, after you shifted to London at the age of 16, Jimin never found himself alone. After a few years though, Jungkook had left the city because of his own personal reasons but had kept in touch with Jimin regularly, until recently, before he left for the army.

“He said he’d be here around 10,” Jimin looks at his wrist watch. “but it’s half past and he’s still not here.”

“Maybe he’s still busy at work?”

“No no, he promised he’d come, and not for me that too, for you.”

“For me?”

“He’s been wanting to meet you for a while now, keeps getting mad that I didn’t invite him to the wedding all…..” Jimin trails off as you understand. “Anyways, if he’s not here I’ll make sure he-“

“Guess we will never find out because JK is already here.” Jimin turns around to see Jungkook standing right behind as his face lit up and he hugs the younger man.

“Kookie thank fuck!” He laughs pulling back. “I was scared you wouldn’t come.”

“Of course I was coming, just got stuck in the traffic and some issues but well, well who do we have here?” Jungkook turns towards you smiling. “Mrs.Park, Jimin always told me you were very beautiful and he couldn’t be more right.”

You turn slightly surprised towards Jimin, hoping he wouldn’t see the slight blush on your face but your eyes meet his faltering smile.

“Kookie,” Jimin starts with a soft voice you could barely hear. “This is my wife, Park Y-“

“Thank you Jungkook. Jimin’s told me a lot about you too.” You look at the both of them, though still not understanding why Jimin seemed tensed to you.

“Has he now? All good I hope, after all after Y/n, it’s only me who was with him to listen to all the nonsense that comes out of his mouth.”

You frown a little as he goes on. Why is he referring to you in third person when you were right before him? You want to ask him but Jungkook goes on.

“So tell me Karen, how is it being married to Park Jimin?”

And at that point everything makes sense. Jimin’s faltering smile, his tensed look, everything makes sense because he realised this was coming. Jimin immediately steps up putting his hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “Her name is Y/n. Park Y/n.”

Jungkook looks confused as his eyes flicker between you and Jimin as Jimin looks at him pointedly.

“Jungkook, since you’ve just arrived, how about you go ahead and grab a drink, we’ll join you soon.”

Jungkook nods understandingly, shooting you an apologetic look as he walks away into the crowd. Jimin immediately turns to you, holding your hand.

“Y/n I’m sorry he had no idea….He only knew I got married, he didn’t know it was you, I couldn’t contact him much from the army and-“

“Jimin.” You clear your throat, not in a state to listen to him. “I’m sorry I’m not feeling too well-“

“Y/n, please, it was-“

“I don’t want to hear anything right now Jimin!” You contain yourself from being loud. “Look, my head hurts and you know I don’t feel comfortable in environments like this. I’ve had more than I can handle tonight, I’m sorry but I should leave.”

“Okay, I’m coming, just give me a minute-”

“No you’re not.” You pull your hand out of his grip. “I’m taking a cab home. You can return whenever you’re done with your party.”

“At least listen to me once Y/n-“

You ignore his words turning around and walking away, as you know he’s watching you and watching as once more, circumstances start putting distance between you two again. Half teary eyed you stand outside the hotel, desperately trying to hail a cab and finally getting into one. Sitting behind you lean back, looking out of the window remembering when you first heard the name Karen.

You are sitting down next to Jimin at the dining table, both of you bickering not like you usually did but more seriously arguing in hushed tones this time.

“Jimin we need to talk.”

“What is it?”

“Not here. I need you step out with me.”

Jimin looks around the table at the members of both your and his family. “Y/n, how are we to leave when everyone is already sitting-“

“It doesn’t matter, it’s urgent.”

“Then you should have said something earlier, before we all came and sat-“

“I called you about 20 times since last evening. Why didn’t you pick up then?”

“My phone was dead for majority of the time Y/n, and I thought since anyway we were meeting today we could talk. Let’s talk after dinner-“

“We can’t Jimin. There’s no point of saying anything after this dinner, after your parents make the announcement. Please, I just need to talk for a bit-“

“So you know what my parents are going to announce today?” Jimin looks at you both surprised and curious. “What is it Y/n, why have they gathered us all-“

“Exactly I’ll tell you all about if you just step out with me-“

“There’s someone at the door.” Everyone stops murmuring across the table immediately, turning towards the butler standing at the entrance as Jimin gets up.

“I think I know who it is.” You can see the nervousness in him. “Just give me a minute.”

You let out an exasperated sigh. For real? All the while you asked him to leave with you and he refused, but he got up and left for whoever this person is? Who is this person?

Jimin answers your question instantly by walking back with a girl, who stood meekly behind him. Other than the fact that she seemed slightly shorter, you couldn’t help but notice how strikingly similar to you she looked. Her hair, her skin, her dressing style, everything. But who is she?

Jimin slowly holds her by the hand bringing her next to him as he uncertainly clears his throat.

“Everyone, meet Karen, my girlfriend, the woman I love and the one I wish to marry.”

And for the second time that week, your world comes crashing, shattering around you.

“We’re here miss.” The taxi driver calls out to you, forcing your eyes open. Paying him you step out, walking through the front gate and the door to your house, all the way up the stairs into your bedroom. Quickly stripping out of your dress and throwing it aside, you fall back into the sheets of your bed, the tears you are holding back starting to leak out of your eyes.

Karen.

Jimin’s girlfriend for 2 years. The woman Jimin loves. Deep down you knew she’d be back in your life and relationship. Truth was, she never was third person here, you were. You never wanted to and you never thought you’d come between her and Jimin but fate had different plans. And that very fate was reminding you again what a miserable story it had written for you. A story of distance. Tonight had reminded you about everything again.

Marrying him had changed everything. The relationship between you two and the expectations you had from it, everything had changed. You weren’t best friends Jimin and Y/n anymore, you were now Mr. and Mrs. Park. The friendship between you two was gone, replaced by a relationship you both weren’t able to accept whole heartedly. You were in love with Jimin yes, all your life but he was in love with another and he could never be yours the way you wanted him to. If Jimin knew how you felt, you knew he would try. He would at least try to love you back like you did, but you didn’t want love as charity or pity. You didn’t want his love in return for yours, you wanted him to love you as you. But he didn’t. He never did. Not before being married to you and not after either. And after becoming his wife, knowing he didn’t see you as one, broke your heart. It really did break your heart to see that Jimin still saw you as a friend. That day, after three months when he met you at the airport, it was evident. Nothing had changed for Jimin like it did for you. You were still his best friend for him but you didn’t want to be that anymore. You couldn’t bear knowing that for him you were no more than a friend. You thought it would hurt less to stay away from him than realise this fact every day by staying with him. That’s why you put distance. That’s why you decided to staying with him as strangers did under the same roof. It was the only way you were together, yet not forcing each other to engage in any relationship that neither of you wanted to be in. Not friendship and not marriage.

You questioned it sometimes though, especially ever since you both started making meals for each other. Whenever Jimin’s notes made you smile, you really thought what you were doing was dumb. The last many years you had lived being his friend, knowing he didn’t love you like you did and when you were okay with it then, then why not now? You could at least be close to him for some or the other reason. Dinner last night made you question yourself even more and that’s why maybe even though you thought tons of times yesterday night about talking to Jimin about keeping distance, you never really could do it. Because deep down you didn’t want to stay away from him. But tonight just told you, you were right, you weren’t dumb. Keeping distance was the right thing. Just for a few seconds of smiling you couldn’t have your heart breaking again and again. Tonight, everything was going to end.

Or so you thought.

Suddenly there’s a crash outside and you instantly sit up, worried at the noise. Quickly pulling your night gown over your almost bare body, you rush down the stairs to see Jimin slowly walking in, stumbling a little as the vase near the entrance lies shattered by the door.

“Jimin, are you drunk?” You walk towards him cautiously, frowning a little.

“Tipsy.” He claims as he walks in, tripping over his own feet. You rush to catch him, as he relaxes his head on your shoulder, clearly more than just tipsy. Walking him to the sofa, you help him sit and proceed to go to the kitchen when he grabs your hand.

“Jimin, let me go-“

“Stay with me Y/n.”

“I’m going to get you water, you need it, let go Jimin-“

“I don’t need water, I need you.” Jimin sighs. “Stay Y/n please….It’s been so long. So long since you and I…..I want my best friend back. I want those days back when we used to hang out and talk and laugh together. I want to see you all the time like I used to before, I want us to be us again. Why did things change Y/n? Why have we become this?”

“I….” You breathe out exasperated. “Let’s not talk about this now Jimin, not when you’re like this-“

“But we’ve been living together for months when I was sober, why didn’t we talk about it then?”

“Why are you asking me this question now? Why didn’t you ask then?”

“Because I wanted to believe nothing had changed. I wanted to believe that the two of us were genuinely too busy to be with each other than trying to become busy so we don’t have be with each other. I wanted to believe that the friendship between us is still there but I saw it today Y/n, it’s not there. We don’t understand each other like we used to, we don’t talk or share or do anything like we used to. I don’t understand what we’ve become and why, I just………I just can’t find any answers.”

You love Jimin but he loves another. This relationship and marriage between you two was a failure from the start, that’s why the two of you are like this. That is the answer. As simple and as complicated as that.

You open your mouth to tell him but he stops you. “But at the same time, I don’t want any explanations either. I don’t want to know, I don’t want you to tell me. Because can’t you see how I am without knowing why things between the two of us are like this? Can you imagine how I’ll be when I know why? My heart tells me I can’t handle it. So don’t explain anything.” He finally looks up at you, his eyes a little glassy. “Please.”

You stare back at him, a sense of hopelessness and fatigue taking over. He looks away as though he cannot bear to look at you anymore, leaving you helpless, not knowing what to do. You sit down across him on the tea table, a little far yet near him and the two of you once more begin to search for words in the silence.

“But you need to know Jimin. It’s my fault. It’s my fault for not telling you from the beginning. You need to know why it’s so important for us to keep away-“

“I don’t want to keep away Y/n! I never wanted to. You want to. It was your choice, your decision, your actions, everything is about you. Did you think about me? About how I felt about this distance? About how I felt losing my best friend?-“

“We aren’t best friends anymore Jimin.” You get up, annoyed that he was bringing it up again and again. “We aren’t and you know that.”

“But why not Y/n, why did that change? Why did changing our relationship status from single to married have to change anything between us? You and I were always friends, why can’t we still be that?” Jimin makes you sit again, holding your hand. “Nothing had changed for me when you became Mrs.Park Y/n. I still love and care about you like I used to, but it’s changed for you. I don’t know why but if you wanted me to know about it then you would have told me so I trust you enough to believe whatever you are doing has reasons important enough but I just want one favour in return of these months of silence you’ve created…..I can’t do this anymore Y/n. I tried, this whole staying away from you, not talking, not sharing, I can’t do this anymore, it hurts me way more than I can bear to stay away. I want you back, I want my best friend back, Please, help me Y/n.” He leans forward, burying his head at the crook of your shoulder. “Please come back to me.” He whispers, eyes falling shut, hands still holding yours.

You had no idea.

You had no idea Jimin was going through all this. All these days you only thought about you. Your pain, your feelings, your side of the story. You never thought about how he felt. How it felt to not marry the one he loved, to lose his best friend overnight, to be left all alone to manage an entire empire at such a young age and come back home to silence and emptiness. You had no idea how hard it was for him because you were so selfish. You claimed to love him but you didn’t think about him at all. What kind of love was that? Please Y/n. You can still hear the desperation in his voice. He really was lonely. All because of you.

It didn’t matter if you were hurt. It didn’t matter if it meant he was happy. That was what love was after all. This distance between you made no sense anymore.

Carefully helping him to his feet, you put his arm around your shoulder, as you walk him to your bedroom. Gently helping him lie down, you remove his shoes and pulled the covers over him, watching him curl under them as he drifted to sleep. Switching off the lights you lie down on the other side beside him, watching him, breath deeply in his slumber.

He really was right. You were being selfish and dumb. Why did you think marrying Jimin had to change anything between you two? Why did you have to think so much at all? Look at where it left you. With even less than you had before. In the disappointment of not being able to have Jimin’s love you lost his friendship too, something that you always had with you and promised to always keep. You could still be friends, you could still be the Jimin and Y/n you were before if you stopped being stubborn, and maybe, it was time to stop.

Jimin turns to face you, reaching out for your hand, eyes still shut, as he grips it in his hand like he used to before, whenever he was worried and needed you around.

“Stop looking at me and stop thinking so much. Just sleep Y/n.”

You blink at him, shutting your eyes, listening to him wholeheartedly for once as you hold his hand, whispering. “Good night Jimin.”

As he replies you can practically hear the smile in his voice. “Good night Y/n.”

The entire of the next two weeks, winter got harsher by the minute but there was a new-found warmth between you and Jimin.

The morning after everything when you woke up Jimin was still lying down next to you, hand still in yours. As the sunlight falls on your faces, he stirs awake and you look away as though for the last ten minutes you hadn’t been looking at him. Slowly he lets your hand go as he rubs his eyes and you are instantly disappointed by the emptiness you feel. You sit up, pulling your hair into a bun, casually initiating conversation.

“You were pretty drunk last night.”

“I wasn’t.” Jimin words take you aback as you turn around to look at him. “I wasn’t even close to drunk.”

“Yeah, I mean you were tipsy, whatever.”

“No.” He sits up, adjusting himself in a way he’s sitting on his side of the bed, facing you. “I wasn’t tipsy either, I was pretty damn sober.”

“Liar.” You get out of bed, arranging the pillows. “I could tell by how you spoke that-“

“I said it sober.” His voice is serious. “I remember every word I said, and I meant every word I said.”

You stare at Jimin who also gets up, arranging the sheets. “Y/n, I mean it when I say I want things between us to go back to normal. And when I say normal I’m not talking about what you decided was ‘normal’ the past few months. I’m talking about how we were for years till now, as friends, best friends. That sort of normal. I want us to at least try if not -“

“Okay.”

It’s Jimin’s turn to be surprised. Perhaps he thought it would take you a lot more convincing to agree.

“You’re right, all this for so long was stupid and unnecessary, nothing has and should change between us right?”

Jimin smiles, happier than most days you had seen him, even happier than when he finished his first project. But it fades a little. “So, will ever you tell me why something did change in between?”

You smile sadly at that, shaking your head. “Something’s don’t need to be told Jimin and if you couldn’t understand without me telling you, you won’t understand even if I do tell you.”

Jimin frowns a little but quickly shakes it off, “Fine, whatever you wish. I’m just glad that things are okay between us now.” You nod as he smiles wider. “How about you go shower first, because you are a crazy person who works on Saturdays and need to leave for work, and I’ll get breakfast ready.”

He leaves the room as you agree when you call him out from behind. “Jimin!”

“Hmm?” He pokes his head in.

“Be honest, you were tipsy weren’t you?”

“Slightly.” He grins sheepishly and you laugh, walking away to shower.

That day was perhaps one of the happiest days of your life.

You sat in the morning eating breakfast together with Jimin, talking and laughing about last night’s party and his colleagues. As you left to work he asked you to come home soon, forgetting you only worked only half a day on Saturdays. When you did come home in the afternoon though, he wasn’t there and you had no idea where he went. About an hour later he returned with bags full of groceries and things making a disappointed face and whining as he saw you, “I didn’t mean so early! This was supposed to be a surprise.”

As the both of you decided to make the dinner he originally planned to cook alone, you realised he bought everything but meat – the main ingredient - making you laugh at him and his stupidity as he threw himself into the couch annoyed at himself. By the end of the night, the groceries were all stowed away in the fridges and cupboards as the both of you settled down in front of the television with 2 boxes of Chinese take out and a long awaited show.

“I can’t believe you didn’t watch season 6 of Friends yet Y/n.”

“It’s not like you did either Jimin!”

“Yeah well, it’s our show, something we always saw together! I tried but it just wasn’t the same. I couldn’t watch it without you.”

You smiled at that. “Then how was I supposed to watch it without you, you idiot.”

And that’s how that night, the entire season 6 of Friends played non stop on the television but the two of you didn’t watch it that night either, falling asleep, curling up in the couch, exhausted and stomachs aching with how much you laughed that night.

And things were like that for quite some time. With Jimin’s project completing he was free and looked forward to spending time with you and even though your project was reaching its high point, you didn’t do much late nights anymore. You were more than loyal to your work, submitting and completing everything on time but you were more efficient now. You didn’t look forward to staying back late at night, spending more time than needed in the labs. These days, you found yourself looking forward to going home. More than you or Jimin though, Jin was happy about this development, encouraging you and sometimes teasing you for wanting to run back home to your husband as soon as possible. It wasn’t your husband you were going back for, it was your best friend.

For over a month, things were this way. Everything was fine, Jimin and you were doing great. You were having meals together, hanging out around the city more often, trying to finish the remaining seasons of Friends, hitting pubs and clubs - in fact, you did all those things that you never had the chance to do with him before. After your mother died when your father insisted on moving to London, you were separated from Jimin at the peak time of your friendship. After that other than keeping in touch with him via mails, you only saw him during the summer vacations, for those two mere months to make up for a years worth of friendship like you had for all those years now. Your last summer vacation changed everything. It changed him from your best friend to you husband.

You didn’t think the whole idea of being best friends like you were before was going to be easy and sure enough, it wasn’t. With the two of you being married now, there were times when it did get awkward. Like when the two of you went to church on Sunday and were blessed by an old woman there for being the most beautiful pair of husband and wives she had ever seen. Or when you were at the restaurant that one night and were voted as the lucky couple. Whenever the subject came to the marriage between you two, there was tension of course.

Or when the topic about Karen was breached. These were the two times the awkwardness between you two was thick and obvious.

For Jimin though, it disappeared in an instant. For him, his relationship with the woman he loved, his wife and his best friend were different. He never let them mingle, he always kept them apart. But for you, your best friend your husband and the man you loved were the same, it was nearly impossible to keep them distant, yet you tried. Because it meant he would be happy you tried. And it didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would though. Maybe because every time it felt painful, you remembered his smile and healed yourself. That was love after all.

And things went on and on that way as winter got harsher and harsher.

And then you destroyed everything again.

Unlike how it’s silent before a storm, the last two days had been extremely happening for you.

You walk around the house making sure all the preparations were done and perfect, Jimin is doing the same. Except he’s more tensed than you. It was funny how he was calling out at you for being the tensed one, two nights ago….

“You look tensed.” Jimin notices the moment he walks into the room as you sit on the couch by the fireplace of your room, pinching the bridge of your nose in worry. You look up as he comes and sink further into the softness, shutting your eyes.

“Just tired.”

“Tough time at work?” You can hear him put his bag down and throw his coat on the bed.

“Yeah, something like that.”

You expect to next hear the bathroom door open as he leaves to freshen up, instead you feel his hands on your head, pressing softly as he stands behind you, making your eyes fly open.

“Jimin, it’s okay-“

“Shh. You’ll feel better.” He softly pushes your hair back, gently massaging. “You used to do the same after my games.”

“And you used to fall asleep.” You smile, letting your eyes shut again.

“Mhmm, and so should you. It’s quite late at night.”

“I can’t.” You whine. “I have work.” You hold his hand, making walk around the couch, bringing him in front of you. “And there’s something we need to talk about.”

Jimin looks worried as he sits across you, “What’s wrong?”

You clear your throat. “Jin requested for business purposes that I organise a Christmas party in our house and…..I said okay?”

“And?”

“And what?” You raise your eyebrows confused.

“That’s it.?” Jimin relaxes, looking relieved. “I thought you were going to…..nevermind what I thought. So, what’s wrong with that?”

“Well there’s going to be party in the house and you live here, I should have asked you first but I said yes without talking to you….”

“That’s no issue Y/n, the house is yours anyways-“

“Ours.” You correct him immediately. “The house is ours Jimin, this is your house too.”

Jimin nods, raising his hands defensively. “What I meant was this is your house too, you don’t need my permission for doing anything.”

“It’s not just that.” You hesitate for a bit. “Look, this party is being thrown to get closer to our potential sponsors on a more personal level alright. I already fucked up one meeting because……because I sort of missed meeting them when they were in town a couple of months ago to join you in your success party-“ Jimin’s eyes widen slightly in surprise. “-but now I can’t have anything go wrong again. Jin thinks that if we interact with them at home like this it would seem more friendly and open and since this is quite a domestic idea…….he wants you to be a part of the party too.”

“You want me to be a part of the party?”

“I’m sorry to bother you, I know I should have asked before-“

“No, I’m asking if You want me to be a part of the party?”

You look at him confused. “Yeah, I think Jin’s right, if we want to do this at a personal level and so are throwing a party in the house, you should be there too. But…….”

“But what? We need to be Mr. and Mrs. Park, not Jimin and Y/n?” Jimin steals the words right from the tip of your tongue as you looked at him slightly surprised.

“Yeah, that’s what I was going to say. Can you do it?” You carefully chose your words. “We need to make everything seem normal, there will be a lot people, we can’t let people know….whatever….whatever is between us.”

“What’s between us Y/n?” Jimin looks at you so sadly, you can’t meet his eyes for long enough. This was one of those instances when you both knew becoming friends once again, didn’t mean it was the same. Whether you talked about it or not, something was still wrong.

“You know what is between us Jimin, you don’t need me to say it.” You take a deep breath. “Can you do it, for me? Be my husband for one night?”

“I’m always your husband.” Jimin drops the words so casually and thoughtlessly, it hurts you because it’s just a word. The word husband is a title, not a relationship. “But I get what you’re trying to say. And yeah, I’ll be there at the party, as your husband, like you were with me as my wife, you didn’t need to ask me this so specifically.”

You purse your lips tight, “Thank you Jimin.” You get up stretching a little, when Jimin holds your hand.

“Where are you off to?”

“The party is on Sunday which is day after tomorrow, so I’ve got work. A couple of phone calls to make and –“

“Now?” He glances at the clock. “It’s quite late.”

You shrug, “I know, no choice.”

“So you’re going to prepare everything in two days all by yourself?”

“You underestimate me Jimin.” You raise your eyebrows at him.

He shakes his head, “You overwork yourself Y/n.”

He continues as you stay silent because he’s right. “It’s a party at our house as you said, so if its our party and we both work for it, right? How about we make a list of things that have to be done and split jobs?” At this point you’re too tired to even argue against it and Jimin sees through it. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“But Jimin I wanted to call for the cake at least today, they’ll get sold out-“

“All can be done tomorrow.” He gets up, turning you around with his hands on your shoulder, making you walk out of the room. “What’s the point of feeding all your guests if you don’t feed yourself? You didn’t have dinner did you?”

You shake your head as you approach the dining room. “I was waiting for you.”

“Let’s eat now.” And as usual the night goes on with a simple conversation and a simple dinner between two friends.

As you adjust the decorations on the tree one last time, mentally ticking it off your to do list, Jimin walks up to you.

“Jungkook’s girlfriend has the cake ready!” He smiles in relief. “I’m gonna step out to collect it okay, I’ll be back in a bit.”

You nod as he rushes out grabbing the car keys, hurriedly putting on his shoes. You know why he’s hurrying, he thought he was at his fault. Even though he was, like always you didn’t say anything to him.

Saturday morning when you wake up, you see Jimin working on his laptop near the fire place. As you stretch he notices you are awake and leaves the room silently. You frown a little before going to the shower, confused as you washed yourself why he was a little off. You know him well enough so you can tell why - he’s tensed. And indeed he is because as you walk into the dining room after getting ready for the day, he’s pacing around the area, as your cornflakes and milk sit ready on the table Expect the milk was in the bowl and the cereal in the glass.

“What’s wrong Jimin?”

Jimin snaps out of his worries, still not noticing that you were pouring cereal into the bowl as he sits down across you.

“So I was making a list of things we need to do before the party tomorrow night-“

“That’s why you’re tensed? We could have done it together Jimin.”

“No, no I just happened to wake up early and so I worked on it, it’s pretty much sorted. So we have food and drinks. Dinner to be precise, which we need to place an order for. We need to buy wine and rum and a couple of drinks. And of course, there’s cake. Then there’s decorations, buying them and decorating the house too. And gifts for those who come. Then there’s music. We need a proper playlist and I was working on that in the morning. And…...” He trails off thinking.

“That’s about it, that’s good enough Jimin what are you so tensed about?”

He bites his lip, looking apologetic. “The cakes are all sold out.” He makes angry fists as he speaks upset at himself. “You were right we should have ordered last night, there’s no cakes anywhere, I’ve called about 7 different shops they are all sold out. I’m so sorry Y/n…”

Even though you’re slightly annoyed at him, seeing how angry he was at himself you calmed down. “Okay, nevermind, I’m sure we wouldn’t have gotten a cake last night as well, people order from weeks before, this whole event is just so last minute so don’t worry. We’ll figure something out.” You quickly stuff your mouth with the cereal, talking between your bites. “Let’s decide on the menu and then make a list of what to order now yeah? We need to step out to shop soon.”

Jimin nods and leaves to bring back his laptop and as you continue your breakfast, you discuss about the cuisine, ordering a long list of mouth watering dishes. You wanted this party to impress, there was nothing you were unwilling to do for it.

“I think we should bake the cake if we can’t find one.”

Jimin looks at you absolutely surprised when you walk into the dining room after clearing yourself up once your breakfast was done.

“You want to bake a cake? A Christmas cake?”

“It’s not that bad.” You shrug leaning over the chair, standing behind it. “It’s a little time taking but I think we can do it. What’s a Christmas party without a Christmas cake right?”

“That is true Y/n but this is won’t be easy-“

“I know but we can try right?” You look at him pleadingly as he shakes his head.

“We’d be wasting too much time, no Y/n, we’ll figure out some other way and-“

“Fine.” You straighten out. “You go ahead and shop, I’m not coming.”

“Stop being stubborn Y/n-“

“I’m not being stubborn! You said it was a waste of time so I’m splitting the work between us so we won’t spend too long on a task.”

“How am I supposed to buy decorations alone? I don’t know what to get and all the colour combination stuff and all-“

“You figure that on your own~!” You wave at him leaving to room as he lets out a groan of frustration. “Fine! I’ll do it alone then!” He gets up and shuts his laptop leaving with it under his arm, the opposite way.

A little upset, you began your work in the kitchen knowing very well it wasn’t going to be easy but Jin trusted you with this and you wanted everything about tomorrow night to be perfect. You’re about halfway done, after making an entire mess in the kitchen when you’re tip toeing miserably trying to reach for the vanilla essence on the top shelf when you feel a sudden warmth behind you as Jimin stands, pressed against your back, hand going over yours to grab the small glass bottle. You turn around to face him as he takes a step back and you frown at him.

“Didn’t you say you were going to buy decorations?”

“I called for catering and confirmed the order, and I also finished on music. It’s past lunch time and you are still such a mess.” He grabs an apron from a nearby. “And I can’t leave you in a mess alone can I?”

He smiles, making you smile back as you continued with your work, glad to have Jimin by you. Soon that is turned into annoyance because if the kitchen was a mess before Jimin came, with him around, it was catastrophic. There was flour everywhere, eggs lying broken here and there, dozens of spoons and spatulas out, the milk was running its own river – it was disastrous. By the end of it all when you took the cake out of the oven, it looked more like a burnt log than a log cake. Jimin laughed till his stomach hurt at you disappointed face the moment he saw it.

Realising you were genuinely upset about how this back fired on you, Jimin immediately takes the cake from your hand putting it on the counter and bending down slightly to look you in the eyes you had lowered.

“Hey Y/n, it’s okay, it just looks a little burnt I’m sure it’ll taste fine.”

“That makes no sense.” You strip out of your apron throwing it across the kitchen. “You were right, we should have thought of some other way to deal with this whole cake thing, this was such a waste of time.” You look out at the darkening sky.

“Of course not, If not for all this, I’d never had known how you look covered in flour.” He snickers as you frown, moving closer to the window, seeing the reflection of you with your cheeks and forehead, all smeared with flour. You groan turning towards Jimin and see his phone out, clicking away pictures, laughing uncontrollably.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me-“

“This stuff is gold.” He takes a step back as you walked ahead, putting your hand out to clock your face.

“Jimin stop taking pictures-“

“You look like a masterpiece, we should hang you on the Christmas tree-“

“Stop it Jimin!”

He runs out, making you sigh and follow behind him, grabbing the bowl of icing on the counter, walking out of the kitchen mess, making a bigger one outside, as the cake sat on the counter, all forgotten.

You walk into the dining room smiling to yourself remembering the mini food fight you had here that night as you look at all the food laid out, ensuring there were enough plates and cutlery to go around for everyone. There’s just one empty plate in the centre for the cake Jimin was bringing. After you spent nearly two hours clearing the mess last night, Jimin remembered that Jungkook’s girlfriend had a knack for baking and immediately called him to ask for a favour. Once Jimin bought the cake and you placed it here, then this place was perfect.

Turning to enter the kitchen, you open the fridge to pour yourself some cold water when you see the cake you baked sitting there half eaten. You roll your eyes thinking about how Jimin winced at your cake yet finished nearly half of it for dinner last night. Gulping water straight from the bottle you go into your room, and pull out a dress from your closet, before getting in the tub for a warm bath. It was so cold these days. Even last night when you were returning from an hour’s worth of arguing and discussion in the mall and finally buying decorations, it was freezing cold.

The car comes to a sudden halt on the silent empty street and Jimin looks at you confused. He tries to start it again, turning the key once, twice, but all you hear is a small rumble and then it gets silent again. Jimin steps out of the driver’s seat opening the car hood and you hear him cough as you see a small trail of smoke leaving from the side. You quickly get out too and stand by him as he stares at all the wires and metal confused as to what to do.

“There’s no one around to even ask for help.” You muse looking through the semi darkness.

“We should maybe call a mechanic then, I have no idea what to do.” Jimin pushes a wire or two looking at the parts keenly as you dial for help.

The two of you are still standing there, trying to see what you can do with your minimal knowledge when suddenly you feel a cold soft something land on your cheek. You look up to see the sky scattering snow, white, beautiful snow, after days after a dry spell in London. Jimin looks up, following you and he breaks into a sweet smile.

“Finally.” He turns to you shutting the hood. “Took it long enough.”

“Good things take time.”

You hold out your hand, watching as the flakes settled on your outstretched palm as you leaned back against the hood, sliding up to sit on it, Jimin standing next to you. The two of you looked around as the snow slowly started covering the trees and the side walk, all just illuminated by a few streetlamps and shop signs in the deserted road. As the snow forms a white layer next to you on the surface of your black car, you scoop up a little of it, throwing it sideways to hit Jimin’s arm. He lets out a soft laugh but immediately gets serious as you wince at how the snow stings your bare skin almost too painfully. He turns, moving to stand right before you taking your hands in his, cupping them and bringing them to his mouth, softly blowing warm air. He’s so close. So incredibly close after so many days and suddenly, your heart is beating fast. Way too fast. And it gets faster when in that small space he looks up and meets your eye, staring right into it in the midst of the snowfall. You see his eyes flicker to your lips then back and he shifts a little. Did he get closer? You don’t know.

And you never get to because the street so far only occupied with the two of you has another visitor as the mechanics car turns in, the headlights flashing towards, making you both instantly jump apart. With his hands on your waist Jimin instantly helps you get down the hood as the mechanic approaches you and the two of you stand as apart as possible while he opens the hood and flashes his torch into it, both of you meticulously avoiding each other’s eyes.

“I need to take this back to the garage, I can only have it ready by the morning.” The man dressed in overalls shuts the hood turning to Jimin. “We can leave this here, and I’ll drop you by my car till your house. I’ll have the car delivered by the morning.”

Jimin shakes his head, the small bits of snow in his hair, falling. “We live just two streets down, we’ll walk, that’s alright.”

The mechanic nods as Jimin walks to the boot, taking out today’s heavy shopping purchase and you help him. After giving Jimin gives his number, the two of you walk home in that snowfall, next to each other but not close enough, looking at one another from time to time but not saying anything. The cold snow had brought something else with it tonight.

You slip on your dress you chose, looking at the way it fit you. As you run your hands over the material, smoothing it out you think about how the pink matched the color of his lips when the two of you were so close last night. You immediately shake the thought off your head. He was your best friend that’s all. He didn’t love you, you weren’t supposed to think like this. But the last few days you kept questioning yourself seeing his behavior. You know Jimin and his interests very well. He loves attention. He loves being in gatherings and parties and clubs. He loves going out, eating in fancy restaurants and having fun. You are almost opposite to him.

You liked having night’s in, home cooked meals or takeawys, watching movies wrapped in a blanket and surrounded by pillows, that’s how you like to spend time. When you were young, the both of you used to argue a lot about it, often coming to truces and spending time in ways both of you liked it. After moving to London though, you could choose to do as you wished. You spent hours in cafes and libraries all alone and silent but somewhere you missed that exciting life you had with Jimin. That’s why after you both had resolved your issues and were spending time together, you didn’t mind doing it Jimin’s way.

The last few days were weird though. It wasn’t exactly weird to say but Jimin was different. He was looking to spend time in as well, he insisted sometimes on not wanting to go out and you thought maybe it was because of the cold or because he wanted to do things your way for a while but as time went by you were slowly seeing it for what it was. He was looking to spend time some personal time, alone with you. When you first thought that you felt you were over thinking it. Jimin didn’t feel anything beyond friendship for you to think like that. But sometimes when saw the way he looked at you, the way he got closer or touched you, as a woman you could tell. You could tell something had changed.

As you wash up after dinner, you hear some song from the living room where you know Jimin sat with his laptop. When you walk in wiping your hands and frowning at the music, Jimin looks up at you.

“What do you think?”

“What is this?”

“The playlist for tonight. This is one of the songs.”

You laugh, “What kind of song is this Jimin, we aren’t in the 1980s for gods sake.”

“What do you mean 80s music.” Jimin almost looks offended. “This is a classic, this song is a legend Y/n.”

You shake your head, crossing your arms. “There’s no point of a legend if one can’t dance to it Jimin we-“

“Who said?” Jimin held out his hand for you. “Let me show you.”

“Not now Jimin,” You wave him off as you walk back towards the kitchen. “We’ve still got the house to decorate and -“

He holds your hand from behind, making your turn to face him exasperatedly. You don’t expect him to suddenly pull you towards him though, one arm around your waist and another, holding the wrist of your hand which is resting on his chest. You blink at him, trying a little to break free, but he’s held you so delicately yet firmly not just with his hands but his gaze too.

As the music swells, slowly he takes a step forward and back, guiding you along the expanse of your living room to the gentle music. You look into his eyes and him into yours as you both sway to the melody getting slower and slower, halting without even realising that all you were doing was looking at each other. And earlier today by the car, there was a reason for you to move apart but now, now there’s nothing. Nothing or no one to interrupt, or put distance between you two. But then the phone rings and both you jump apart.

You shake your head, bringing yourself out of last night’s memories. That was nothing, that really was nothing. Jimin couldn’t possibly be falling….

You suddenly feel his presence behind you, his hand to be particular as his pulls up the zip at the back for you, meeting your eyes in the mirror.

“This dress is really nice.”

You turn around, hoping he’d take a step back but he doesn’t, trapping you in the small space between the dressing table and his body.

“Uh…thanks Jimin.” You blink.

“I’ve put the cake on the table, it looks great, you should take a look. And I also took a final round in on all the decorations, and everything is good. No one will believe it took less than three hours today morning to make the house look like this.......Also the waiters we hired are here. I’ve put a couple of them on drinks duty and the rest will be there to change the course during dinner.”

You slowly take a step to the side, moving away from him, clearing your throat. “Uh yeah, yeah, that sounds fine.”

Jimin looks at you keenly. “Is everything okay?”

You open your mouth to say something and then immediately shut it changing your mind and turning around. No, no, not now. You had a party to throw and a deal to crack. All this can be done later.

“If there’s something, say it Y/n.”

“Can we talk Jimin?” You turn to him. If not now then you’d never do it. You know what an idiot you are.

“We are talking?” He blinks confused.

“I wanted to ask if you….. it’s just that I felt….maybe, you know, I don’t know it’s probably not true but….”

Probably? Of course. Of course it wasn’t true. Why would you ever think Jimin was falling in love with you? He was already in love with someone else and this wasn’t the first time Jimin was close enough to you to make your heart skip a beat. Jimin was a touchy, romantic person by nature, all this didn’t mean anything at all.

“What did you feel?” Jimin waves his hand before you zoned out face.

“Uh….nothing. It’s nothing, never mind.” You turn to walk back into your wardrobe to get away from him, when Jimin calls out to you.

“Y/n, you know you can tell me whatever it is right?”

“Yeah.” You nod, not looking at him. “I know.”

As you finish getting ready, tucking the last strands of hair behind, you can hear the sounds of cars pulling up in front of your house. Quickly taking one last look at yourself in the mirror, happy with what you’ve done, you rush out of the room to see Jimin already holding the door open as your colleagues walked in, couples and families, looking pleasantly surprised at Jimin, having seeing him for the first time.

“Y/n!” Ashley waves at you when she spots you standing by the couches, immediately approaching you and it’s only then though that Jimin spots you as well, his eyes slightly widening and lips parting as his eyes fell on you, from your feet, trailing up your body to your eyes.

You don’t why but when you walked into the wardrobe again the first thing that your eyes fell on was the deep red dress that Jimin had bought for you months ago for the party. It had come back altered, two days after everything and since then it had been hanging on your side of the wardrobe, untouched. For some reason you took it out, staring at it and you didn’t even know why but you slipped out of your gown, changing into it. When you looked at yourself in the mirror indeed Jimin was right, the colour really did suit you a lot.

Seeing you in the dress he gifted, you notice how Jimin refuses to take his eyes off you as you walk towards him, to welcome everyone home. When you reach him, he snaps out of it, putting his arm around your waist, smiling along with you at everyone as you introduced him.

As the night got longer, your friends and colleagues start filling your house, the environment get livelier by the minute. You speak to dozens of people walking around, and everyone showers compliments on your home and the arrangements and how wonderful your husband is, especially when out of the blue, he started playing the piano that sat untouched for months, at the corner of your living room. You thought Jimin only knew how to play a song or two that was taught in school and he never showed any particular interest for the instrument as well. But today the way he played had the entire party’s attention on him, everyone with drinks in their hands but not one person took a sip, all too lost in the way his fingers moved over the keys.

You didn’t even get a chance to talk to him after that as Jin steals you to the side to talk to your sponsors with whom you discussed for long and in detail what you planned to do with this experiment. By the end of it, you’ve impressed them and as they proceed for dinner, Jin wraps you in a brief hug, congratulating you for your success and you’re so happy, you look around for Jimin to tell him but he’s already looking at you, mouth pressed in a thin hard line, eyes flickering from you to Jin. As you walk towards him, he turns around raising the glass and grabbing everyone’s attention.

“Dinnertime everyone! Please, join us in the dining room.”

You frown at him as the crowd moves towards the dining room, walking between the two of you and Jimin follows them in, and you don’t know whether he has even noticed or not that you want to talk to him.

Dinner is just as uneventful. Even though you’re sitting right next to Jimin, he’s talking to others sitting around him and you found yourself still making conversation with Jin and your sponsors. As desert gets passed around and everyone slowly eats, Jin stands up, clearing his throat for attention. He announces happily about the new project the lab has now received, being its biggest and most important one yet. As he owes the credit to you, everyone cheers as you beam around the table and you feel Jimin lean in to whisper softly in your ear. “Congratulations, love.”

You look at him with slightly widen eyes and he looks away still clapping normally, looking around. You probably misheard him in all this noise. There was no way he said that.

You become pretty silent after that, not talking much to anyone, lost in your own thoughts. What snaps you back to reality is Ashley’s question.

“So Mr. Park.”

“Please, call me Jimin.”

“Alright, Jimin, Y/n has barely told us anything about you.” She looks around the table for agreements. “I mean of course she’s answered our questions before so we know where you work and what you do and all that, but she’s never talked about the two of you before. Tell us something about yourself.”

“Well there isn’t much to say.” Jimin laughs, holding your hand. “We know each other better than anyone, being the childhood friends, we are and last spring we made it a marriage.”

“And love?”

Both you and Jimin look at each other as Ashley continues. “I mean it’s obvious you guys are deep in love, when did that happen?”

You panic but you feel the light pressure Jimin gives as he squeezes your hand in his grip. “Well, I don’t know about her but it was pretty recent for me......They say you know the value of something in your life only when it leaves right?, maybe that’s why I never knew how I felt for her. I remember it was one night, after our families had dinner together and she was walking back home alone as I followed her and as I saw her walk away I somehow just realised that I can bear anything, anything but the distance between us and I guess that was when I knew.”

You stared at Jimin gulping a little. This didn’t really happen did it?, he couldn’t be serious.

“And Y/n, you?”

“Huh?” You turn a little surprised. “Um…..I…..it wasn’t exactly a particular moment for me I guess.” You look at Jimin, straight in the eye. “I think I’ve been in love for as long as I remember.”

Everyone lets out a string of aw’s looking at you two. You can’t take it anymore.

“Well now that dinner is over,” You look around. “How about we all head out for a bit and just enjoy ourselves?”

Everyone mummers in agreement, getting up, wiping themselves with napkin and you leave Jimin’s hand and get up too, talking to the waiters about clearing the place. As music begins playing outside, Jin grabs you halfway as you are giving instructions, insisting that you dance and that it was your night to celebrate. You look at all the couples dancing together slowly and as Jin holds his hand out to you, asking for a dance, Jimin comes from behind, hand around you, pulling you closer.

“Sorry Jin, I’d like this dance with my wife if you don’t mind?” And you just hope Jin didn’t notice the slight harshness in his voice as Jimin leads you away.

Putting your arms around him, you look at him pointedly. “What was that Jimin? Why did you have to be so curt-“

“This colour really does suit you.” His voice is low. “You look beautiful Y/n.”

You blink multiple times at how easily he’s changing the topic. “Thanks, I thought the colour would match the theme of Christmas and all but you’re not getting away with this Jimin, what was all that about?”

“All what?”

“How you spoke to Jin and that story during dinner?”

Jimin lets out a sigh, “You asked me to be your husband tonight didn’t you? I’m doing just that. A husband doesn’t just let his wife dance with anyone and everyone like that. Besides I hadn’t talked to you the whole evening-“

“I did try! You walked away.”

Jimin shakes his head, brushing it off. “I’m sorry about that, I don’t know why……but anyways congratulations Y/n on your project. I’m so glad this worked out for you.”

Congratulations love.

That’s the only thing ringing in your head, you can’t hear anything he says after that. Should you talk to him about it? Here and now?

But you’re so lost in the moment, you don’t. You don’t talk to him while dancing, not after everyone hugs you both goodbye and leaves, not after the house eventually becomes utterly silent, never. But somehow before you even could ask, he answers your questions with a reply you didn’t expect at all.

You’re clearing the last bits of things remaining in the dining room, after the waiters leave doing their job. As you pull your hair out of the painful bun letting you waves drop over your shoulder. Jimin enters, his blazer removed, rolling up his sleeves. Like always, you look away.

“Just need to keep all these scented candles back in.” You tell him as you blow the fire away, the room getting darker bit by bit. Jimin proceeds to help you, both of you quietly doing your work until your shoulders knock right next to each other as the both of you reach for the last candle at the same time.

And you can feel it again, that undissolved tension between both of you. Jimin is so close to you again, so close you can count his eyelashes, see the specks of lighter brown in his eyes so clearly, feel every breath he is not taking. He’s so close that he can surely feel the way your heart beats like a thousand horses running together and your cheeks giving of heat like a setting summer sun. You don’t think it was possible for the two of you to get any closer. But somehow you do.

Somehow suddenly Jimin swoops down, hands on either side of you, trapping you between them as he gripped the edge of the table and softly presses his lips against yours. It’s so soft, so so soft that it makes your mind reel in an unknown frenzy. It is slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. His brings his hand to rest below your ear, his thumb caressing your cheek as both your breaths mingle. You run your fingers down his spine, as he moves closer until there is no space left between you and you can feel the beating of his heart against your chest. You can feel wild tremors along your nerves, inflicting sensations you had never known you were capable of feeling. You don’t know how but the kiss got deeper, deeper than all the galaxies in the universe, as you move against him.

You can taste the faint traces of wine as the kiss obliterates every thought. Drunk on endorphins your only desire is to have him touch you, to move his hands over places that ached to feel him. He gives you exactly that as his hand wanders down your back, holding him closer to your body. You always wondered what stories meant by melting in a kiss.

It is only now in his arms that you understand. It is only when Jimin pulls back and you pine for his touch that you understand, knee buckling a little, unsteady as you are on your feet, and his hands immediately grab you by the waist, holding you up. There is barely a few seconds gap, a few seconds where you stare at each other, face red and flushed before he kisses you once more with the kind of passion that literally takes your breath away you find yourself pushing him back to breathe again as you both stand foreheads touching till his eyes fly open.

“Oh god....” Jimin looks at you horrified as though he just came to his senses, immediately taking a step back. “I’m sorry....I’m so so sorry this....this wasn’t....I....I’m sorry Y/n.”

You frown at him not understanding as he takes a couple more steps back.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers and leaves in a blink of an eye as you stand in the semi darkness all alone with no idea what in the world was going on.

“Earth to Y/n.”

You snap out of your thoughts in an instant and look up to see Jin staring at you with an eyebrow up. You look around to see everyone else also giving you a curious, confused look.

“Wow that took a while. Are you with us Y/n?”

“Yeah...yeah I just...was lost for a minute sorry.”

“Well it would be a little helpful if you could you know maybe try to be with us so we can get done with this quickly.”

“yeah sure I’m sorry. I’m- I’m listening.”

But you’re not. Barely seconds after saying that you’re scribbling lines on the paper again thinking about last night and Jimin’s changed behaviour for many days now. It couldn’t be possible, it couldn’t be what you were thinking. Jimin cannot be in love with you. Even though that was what you wanted all your life, Jimin cannot be in love with you. That would ruin everything. That would destroy your soul from the inside.

Last night you had finally admitted. You finally admitted to yourself that Jimin not loving you had never been the problem in your life at all. Jimin not loving you was a solution. It was the solution that kept you away from him. It was the solution that helped you with your guilt for something you had never admitted to even yourself till date. Last night, you did. You finally confessed to yourself why the distance between you and Jimin was there. It wasn’t because he didn’t love.

You couldn’t have him love you.

And he needed to know that.

“I’m sorry I need to leave.” You get up, as everyone stares at you.

“Y/n this is important-“

“I’m sorry Jin, there’s nothing more important that what I have to do now to me.” You grab your bag and lab coat and walk straight out of the room, not waiting for anyone’s permission.

When you open the front door of your house as quickly as possible to talk to Jimin, you are met with a surprise.

“Y/n!” The woman in front of you squeals, getting up from the couch and nearing you with her arms wide open, as Jimin sits near her.

“M-Mrs.Park?” As Jimin’s mother wraps you in a tight hug you look at him over her shoulder and he shrugs. It was a surprise for him too.

“How does it feel being a Mrs. Park yourself?” She raises her eyebrows playfully as she pulls back and you smile awkwardly as you both walk into the house.

“It’s…it’s okay I guess?”

“Doesn’t feel any different?”

“I still have to tolerate him.” You roll your eyes at Jimin who pouts angrily making his mother laugh.

“You two are still the same I see, still fooling around. Grow up already. It’s not time for you to be kids, it’s time to have your own.”

Both you and Jimin choke on the nothing at the same time, which doesn’t go unnoticed by the older woman’s eyes. She makes you sit next to Jimin, holding both your hands.

“Everything is okay between you husband and wife isn’t it?” Jimin and you look at each other and Jimin puts his arm around you as you force a smile.

“Yeah mom, e…everything is good, we’re both good.”

She smiles at his words and looks straight at you, “You remember what we asked of you when you were married? This empire needs an heir after Jimin and only you can give us that.” She drops a kiss on your head. “Don’t keep us waiting for the news any longer Y/n.”

You blinked at her as Jimin speaks for you. “Yeah mom, we understand.”

“I’l.......l just take with me to the kitchen to get these special diabetic biscuits I bought for you Mrs. Park,” You get up, holding Jimin by the hand. “I need his help taking it from the top shelf, We’ll be back!”

You drag Jimin to the kitchen, making sure his mother can’t hear anything and speak in a hushed voice.

“What’s going on?”

“Dad had some work in Paris and she just took the train from Paris to London for the fun of it and thought to pay us a visit cause the last time she called I wasn’t doing well.” Jimin runs his hands through his hair. “She’ll be leaving in a bit, to catch the train back so-“

“Then we better hurry and tell her.”

“Tell her what?” Jimin looks at you confused.

“Jimin, do you realise what she’s asking for? She thinks things between us are good enough to give her an heir. That’s not happening, no way is that happening and we can’t have her living in the hope that-“

“It’s break her heart to know the truth about our relationship Y/n, she thinks as parents they did take a good decision for our lives by getting us married. Knowing that it’s turned around everything for the worse for us will break her heart.”

“Then what do we do let her live in the delusion? I can’t Jimin, I’m telling her right now-“

“Don’t Y/n” Jimin holds your hand as you try to leave. “She’ll get to know eventually, slowly, don’t tell her this now and-“

“Whenever we tell her, it will break her heart Jimin, then why not earlier?” you raise your hands, not wanting to listen anymore. “Look, I’ve been doing this mistake for days – not talking on time. There’s no point dragging things for longer and longer, it’ll only get more complicated and difficult to break out from. We are telling her today and that’s final. Will you do it or do you want me to?”

Jimin silently looks at you eyes still pleading you to not do this.

“Will you do it or do you want me to, Jimin?”

Jimin gives up eventually shutting his eyes briefly and letting out a breath. “I’ll do it.”

“Good.” You grab the biscuits from the kitchen counter and walk out.

As Mrs. Park talks munching on the biscuits, you keep glancing at Jimin to raise the topic and he nods like he’ll do it soon but over an hour passes by and he doesn’t bring it up. Not even when his mother gets up stating that she wants to take her leave. You can’t rely on him anymore, you had to take matter into your own hands.

“Mrs. Park there’s something you need to know.” You get up as she does and from the corner of your eye you can see the tension in Jimin as he stands up as well.

“What is it dear?”

“I’m sorry but I didn’t want to hide this from you. You need to know about us and……..”

Jimin puts his arm around your waist pulling you closer and words are unable to leave your mouth.

“What about you two?”

“We…we aren’t ready to be parents.” Jimin speaks beside you as you frown. What is he saying? “One day maybe, but both of us are busy now with our careers and we want to focus on it for a while, a child will be a distraction now. Y/n was just.......worried about how to tell you this.”

“Aw is that is sweetheart?” His mother smiles at you, walking to the door as the two of you follow her. “That’s alright, I understand you both are young and newly married, you’d want to work, have fun, spend time and all of that. I just wanted you to know his dad and I are waiting but if both want it later, then we have no qualms waiting longer. That’s not an issue, you needn’t be afraid to say that my child.”

“It’s not that.” You look at Jimin, getting madder at him by the minute for saying everything but what he had to, controlling the emotion in your voice. “There’s more-“

Jimin doesn’t let you finish, pulling you closer, kissing your lips, shutting you up. “She said, it’s okay love, there’s nothing to be afraid.”

Being the old fashioned woman Jimin’s mother is, she laughs into her hand at the sight of her son so blatantly displaying affection in front of his mother and turns around.

“Alright, I’m going to leave you lovebirds alone for a while, I’ve got a train to catch anyways.”

As you stand at loss for words, Jimin’s mother leaves, getting into the car that came to pick her up, waving sweetly at you. The moment she is out of sight, Jimin shuts the door and you push him away from you harder than you expected to.

“What the hell were you thinking?” You hissed between your teeth. “I asked you to tell her! Why are you giving her hope Jimin, she needs to know. She needs to know you and I have nothing between us! How could you Jimin?”

“I couldn’t do it Y/n! Imagine the poor woman travelling all alone with the thought that her son was bound in a relationship that could barely be called a marriage all because of her?”

“It would hurt her more to know later Jimin! If we keep waiting like this, it’ll be too late to tell her-“

“It’s too late already. We should have told them before we got married, before we agreed to be husband and wife-“

“Agreed?” The word snaps something inside you. You can’t do this anymore. “Who agreed to marry you Jimin, who agreed to be your wife? I don’t think you remember Jimin,” You take a step closer to him. “This relationship was not forged on my consent.”

Jimin visibly takes a shocked step back.

“Tell me Jimin. You were asked if you were okay with marrying me. Your parents were asked if they would accept me regardless. My father was asked if he was okay with this relationship. Do you ever remember me being asked?”

Jimin seems to rake his memories, going back to the day of the wedding.

“No one asked me Jimin. No one thought it was necessary. No one knew if this is what I wanted. I was decked in a bridal gown, told what vows to say and who to say it to and that’s it! No one asked me if I wanted it to be you. And let me make this very clear to you Jimin.”

You walk up to him and jab a finger at his chest. It is not moving like it’s supposed to. He isn’t breathing. You should have at least stopped then.

But you don’t.

“I never wanted it to be you. And I still don’t. So stop doing all this.”

“You….you didn’t want this….” Jimin stares at the floor repeating your words.

“No.” You turn to him. “And I even came here today, leaving everything behind just to tell you that. I didn’t want to marry you, even now this relationship suffocates me, having you around suffocates me, you remind me of things I try so hard to forget. There was a reason I stayed away from you Jimin, there was a reason for the distance but that’s something you’ll never understand. I thought it was a selfish decision though, not thinking about what you wanted from this relationship. But I was right in what I did. I was always right. There was never a point in thinking about what you wanted from this relationship when the relationship itself didn’t make any sense at all. But I can’t break away from it because I know what us being married means to my father so I stayed away from you. You wanted to be friends, you wanted to hang out, you thought it was okay to do or say whatever you want, but it’s not Jimin. Let me make it clear to you one last time. There is and will never be anything but distance between us. Whether you like it or want it or not.”

With that you turn around and walk straight out of the house slamming the door shut hard enough to make it’s hinges rattle. It’s cold, so cold that you can feel the hot tears pouring from your eyes turning to freezing streams. You walked for as long as you could that evening, further and further away from Jimin.

You did it. After months and months of thinking of telling him to stay away, months of battling with yourself about whether this friendship was right or not, you did it. You pushed him away from you, the man you loved but were never meant to marry, the man who was the source of your guilt. And as much as it hurt doing that, breaking his heart this way, it was important to do. Otherwise the two of you would constantly be stuck in a loop of loving and not being able to love each other and hurting yourself even more. This distance was the best for you both.

That night when you come back home, Jimin is not there. He is not back home even after you have dinner, even after working on your laptop till nearly 2 in the morning, even after you wake up alone in your bedroom after many days now. The bathroom floor is wet though, which means he had come home, but he left again before he had to face you. Strangely there is also a slightly muddy footprint next to the bed table on your side of the bed as though he stood there for a while, the imprint becoming thicker and darker with time. You don’t know how long he was standing there. Or why.

Even after you return from work early, Jimin is not back. Just as you set your takeout dinner on the kitchen bar table you hear the front door being unlocked and see Jimin only just entering the house. When he looks at you though, his expression becomes hard, unreadable.

“I didn’t think you’d be home this early. Sorry.”

Before so much as a sound left you, Jimin turns around and shut the door behind him, leaving the house and you are forced once more to face the silence that you caused, the silence which is and which always has been your fault.

Nearly two weeks pass like that. Jimin hardly being at home. Jimin avoiding you when he sees you. It’s worse because he doesn’t subtly do it. He abruptly gets up and walks away whenever he sees you, he never stays in the same room as you. The other day you even heard him angrily demanding on the phone as to why it’s taking so long to get someone to fix the ceiling. You’ve never seen him that mad. He isn’t not just avoiding you, he’s cutting you off completely, turning you into an absolute stranger. That’s what you wanted right? And that’s exactly what was happening.

By the third week, Jimin got the roof of his room fixed and moved away from your space permanently. He didn’t even tell you about it. When you came home you saw his colognes were no longer lined next to your perfumes, his clothes were not in your cupboard, none of his things were around. You thought he left. Left you.

And just like that, Jimin who was already far off, went further away.

#bangtanwriters-net #kwriterskollection #sfwbangtan #kkreationsnet #armiesnet #CMBnetwork #jimin angst #jimin smut #jimin fluff #park jimin #park jimin series #jimin mini series #jimin bts #park jimin bts #jimin #bts #arranged marriage au #business au

216 notes · View notes

jiminwreckedme · 6 years ago

Text

The Distance Between Us

Strange Connections, Stranger Chemistry - Mini Series.

| The Beginning | Everything In Between | The End |

AU - Married, Business.

Genre - Angst (A little sexual tension?)

Word count - 20K

Summary -Not all love stories are she loved him and he loved her. Not all love stories are that simple. But it isn’t love which is complicated either.

It’s the people in love who are.

Tags - @gwynethjodie , @softkomorebi , @itsinseoul I’m eternally grateful to you guys

Song - It’s alright, it’s love.

A/N - Here it finally is! Sorry this part is so frustrating, I myself was pretty annoyed as I was reading this but hey it’s all a part of character growth and all that so bear with me! Part 3 will be much more satisfying I promise :)

The world isn’t barren anymore.

Winter took longer than usual to leave but it left eventually, spring sashaying it’s way into everyone’s lives. Though it brought joy to everyone, it couldn’t heal the frost bites still lingering in your heart. With Jimin so far away from you, nothing could soothe the burn in your chest.

Things soon fell back to what they started off as.

With your workload getting heavier, you spent lesser and lesser time in the house, spending all your hours, slogging in the labs. And every night when you came back home, tired and exhausted, Jimin, like earlier, somehow managed to not be around. The only difference was that back then, you were the one running.

Now, it was Jimin.

You only truly realised the extent of how much he was cutting you off that morning, when for the first time in months, he spoke to you......

You’re sitting down at the dining table going through your files in the morning along with breakfast. An envelope comes sliding towards you and you look up to see Jimin standing at the other end of the table, purposely not meeting your eye. His presence there surprises you, even scares you a little. Did Jimin just approach you? On his own?

“This came in today.” He points at the white envelope on the table and then crosses his arms, voice hard. You slowly reach out towards it and empty its contents, frowning as you realise what they are.

“Flight tickets?.... Wher-where are you going?”

“We.” His voice is curt as always. “We are supposed to be going for a four days and three nights trip to the Maldives. Dad sent these over.”

You shake your head not understanding.“Why?”

“For a short family getaway. Everyone is going - my cousins, aunts, uncles, everyone.” You open your mouth to say something but Jimin holds his hand up. “Before you assume anything, I am not asking you to come along. I am asking you to find an excuse not to. Just letting you know that these are the dates. Keep yourself as busy as you can for these four days.”

And with that he walks away, leaving you staring, not a word able to leave you.

Admittedly, you didn’t want to go.

Family gatherings were not your thing, you didn’t like crowds or talking to people for long, and you had finally got sponsors and investors for your project which meant that with every passing day, you were getting closer and closer to the experiment dates. You couldn’t possibly leave the country now. And just like you, he didn’t want you to come either, and in fact, he asked you not to as well. He told you exactly what you were to hear but it hurt so much. Was he really this eager to get away from you? So eager that he didn’t even at least try once for the sake of his family if not for him?

It was your fault.

When you talked him that day, you should have explained it. You wanted to as well. You wanted to tell him the truth, why you wanted him away from you, what he reminded you of and how guilty he made you feel. You wanted to tell him everything but you were just so angry. You were mad at how easily he disregarded what you said, about telling his mother the truth. You couldn’t bring yourself to see anything beyond that anger and it destroyed your intent. This was never your intention. This coldness between you two was never your intention. You merely wanted him to stop getting so close to you. Stop spending time with you and stop giving you memories that only hurt at the end of the day. And Christmas night the way he kissed you…….you couldn’t have that happening too. You couldn’t have him fall in love with you, that would ruin everything.

But you never meant becoming like this. You never thought things between the two of you would come to this. You and Jimin who were the best of friends, now, worse than strangers. You couldn’t even talk to him and make things clear, he never let you have that opportunity and over time the sadness that arose in you from his behaviour, permanently etched itself into your existence.

And like that, the distance between you and Jimin never healed.

You have been in the lab for three days now. It’s been over 72 hours since you’ve left your house to rot in your lab, finally starting the project you have been waiting to do all these months.

You look at yourself in the mirror of the locker room, at the dark eye circles, at the your unwashed, hair up in a bun as you pull your lab coat over you. You remove all your accessories - the thin silver necklace your father gifted, your mother’s old watch, the pair of earrings that you bought back in your first year of college and finally, your ring. The engagement ring with its beautiful blue stone, the kind of royal blue you loved, reflecting the light of the late evening sun. It makes your heart pang. Looking at it forms tears in your eyes as you slowly pull it out to reveal the wedding ring you have worn under it. The thin simple band of platinum with a small diamond embedded in it, that ring which Jimin made you wear in your wedding, the memory still so clear in your head. He doesn’t wear his. You remembered trying to look for it the day he landed in London. His hand was filled with the rings he loved to wear, his wedding ring wasn’t one among them.

You place both rings in the tray and shut the locker, locking it, as you fished out your phone, walking towards the lab.

No missed calls. No messages.

You hadn’t come home for three days yet Jimin didn’t even try to find out where you were. He had no idea if you were okay or not and yet, it didn’t make a difference to him. It hurt you that you had come to this. Yes, Jimin might not talk to you, he might ignore your presence and run away from it and all that was okay. But you thought somewhere deep down he cared. He must at least care. But the blank screen on your phone tells you otherwise. You stuff it into your pocket, as you wipe your threatening tears.

Tapping your ID card, you enter the lab and the moment you step in, Ashley walks up to you, handing you the files. You go through the list checking off the completed tasks when she taps your shoulder.

“Sounds like you’re getting a call?”

Quickly touch your pocket, you feel the vibration and shoot a small smile that read thanks. It’s not Jimin like you hoped, it’s an unknown number. Sighing you pick it up, placing it between your ear and shoulder.

Mrs. Park?

“Park Y/n speaking.”

Do you happen to be Mr. Park Jimin’s wife or mother?

You hold the phone out and frown at it. Who is this ridiculous person? “I am his wife, but sorry, who are you?”

I’m calling from the city hospital regarding your husband.

“My husband?” Suddenly everything around you goes blur. “W-what’s wrong with my husband?”

There was a small accident in your house earlier today. A part of the ceiling of your house seems to have cracked and fallen apart, injuring the inhabitants of the room. There aren’t any major injuries but......

You can’t hear anything else. Everything is a loud buzz.

“Y/n? Y/n? Y/n!” Ashley shakes you back into your senses. “What’s wrong?”

You look at the screen of the phone and cut the call. You try to calm your racing heart. Jimin wasn’t even here in Seoul, he would have left for his family vacation days ago and should be back tomorrow. This...this must’ve been a prank, of course it’s someone’s extremely dirty prank but.....but how did they know about the ceiling?

“Y/n you are scaring me, will you please say something?”

“It’s nothing.” You shake your head. “Just someone being an asshole, said Jimin met with an accident....”

“He did?” Ashley looks at you wide eyed.

“He couldn’t have. He’s at Maldives now, he wouldn’t have-”

“No he isn’t....” She shakes her head. “He’s here, in London, what are you talking about?”

You turn towards her frowning. “What? He’s my husband Ash, I know.” You remember, memory a little fuzzy though, the dates on his tickets. “He’s supposed to be back tomorrow, and it was a four day trip, he’s definitely gone.”

“Y/n look, I think you misunderstood this whole thing, maybe you are confusing it with the departure date, maybe he’s supposed to leave tomorrow-”

“Why are you so sure?” You snap at her. Yes, you know Jimin didn’t tell you anything but your assistant couldn’t probably know more about him than you, can she?

“Cause he’s been calling every two hours the last three days?”

You turn to her at the speed of lightening. “H-he’s what?”

“Ever since you’ve gotten here, he’s been calling the office phone literally every two hours asking about you, whether you’re okay, and if you’ve eaten or not, if you’ve rested? I’ve picked up at least 30 or so calls for him and even asked him why he won’t just directly contact you and he said I needn’t tell you about this, you’d unnecessarily be disturbed and distracted and if you’re doing fine it’s enough for him.....”

Your heart swells at her words. So he did care. Like always, he still cares. You were so stupid to think otherwise. Just because he was stopping himself from showing his concern to you. He really did care.

“.....And he ordered yesterday’s subway for you too, I had no idea what you eat from there,” You remember last night’s dinner. You had barely even paid attention to it. Now you remember, it was exactly your order and there was no way anyone but Jimin knew it. Ashley continues slowly. “He was the one who got it delivered here so I know for a fact that he’s here....”

“....and if he’s here then,” You turn towards her, fear instantly coursing through your body. “if this call is true....”

Ashley swallows quickly and reaches for her tablet and asks you to read out the number you got the call. As you dictate the digits, she searches for it and when she looks up at you, you can already tell by the look in her eyes......its true.

She nods. “City hospital.”

You stumble back a little, nearly hitting the edge of the table and she immediately reaches out for you.

“Hey Y/n, get a grip, I’m sure he’s ok...”

You can’t hear her anymore. There’s only one thing running in your mind. Jimin is hurt. Jimin is hurt. Jimin is hurt. The phone nearly slides dropping from your hand. You quickly strip off your lab coat, throw it haphazardly on the table, grab your car keys and rush out of the lab.

“Y/n!” Ashley holds your hand, rushing behind you. “The experiment-”

“Ash, I need to leave. He’s met with an-” You can’t even bring yourself to say it. The thought itself is so unimaginable. “Jimin needs me. I need to go.”

“Wait Y/n, please, the experiment-”

“Fuck the experiment!” You pull your hand away from her grip, steadying your shaking voice. “Nothing is more important to me than him, do you understand?”

And with that you turn and leave, taking fast steps and then running towards the lift. Its on the first floor and you are on the 7th. You can’t wait that long. Looking around you find the stairs, and run towards it instead. You are running down, losing your breath, your eyes are spinning as you look down, your fear of heights kicking in. But the fear that something has happened to Jimin is stronger. You continue to rush towards the parking lot, hurriedly climbing into your car and stepping on the gas, without bothering about speed limits.

The journey to the hospital is a race. A race against time. You slam the horn, break the rules, do everything and anything to get there as soon as possible. But when you reach the hospital, its a mess. There was a really big car accident at the highway apparently, patients are being moved in and out and there’s blood and injuries everywhere. It’s horrifying.

Finding the reception, you run towards to it, panting and out of breath, words barely able to get out of your mouth. “My....my husband....accident....”

“Tell me his name please.” The lady looks bewildered at your state.

“Mr. Park...Park Jimin...” It’s getting harder and harder to speak.

“Room 501, fifth floor, on your left.”

You don’t even spend a second to thank her, rushing off towards the lift, cursing yourself for having gotten into it instead of going by the stairs. You would have reached a few seconds faster, because every second that goes by without you seeing him is only getting more and more painful.

You push your way out of the crowd when the elevator stops at the fifth floor and turn left like you were instructed to, only to suddenly stop your tracks.

He’s there.

Sitting right outside room 501, elbows on his knees, fingers interlocked, a foot tapping away in anticipation. He seems fine. There’s not a scratch on him, no blood, no wounds. Life is returning to your body as you start breathing again, so very relieved at his sight.

“Jimin.”

He’s head whips towards your direction as he frowns, standing slowly. “Y/n? You- Oh!”

You run, practically throwing yourself at him, feet no longer on the ground, your arms wrapping around his neck. Jimin stumbles back a little at the impact before placing his arms around you to hold onto you as a result of your shocking act. When he’s steady on his feet he pulls you back, his hands light against your shoulder blades.

“Y/n It’s-”

“Thank god!” You take his face into your hands. “Thank god you’re okay I was so scared-“

“Please, stop, I’m hurt Y/n….”

You take two steps back, looking at him properly when your eyes fall on this bandaged foot that was hidden from view all this while.

“Did it fall on your foot? It must’ve-“

“Why’re you here?” He interrupts you without even listening to what you were trying to say.

You look at him, lips slightly parting in surprise.

“What do you mean Jimin? I got a call that you got into an accident and so of course I-“

“It isn’t me, it’s Mr. Min who is more injured. He was home to sign a contract when it fell on his shoulder. And right now, I should be with him.” He takes a step back, reaching for the door handle behind him, your hands losing the coldness of his cheek against your palms.

“But Jimin, are you okay-“

“You should leave Y/n.” He turns around towards the door pushing the handle. “To work or home or where ever you need to be right now. You should leave.”

And with that he disappears into the room, leaving you alone outside in the deafening silence.

You didn’t return to work.

You didn’t go back home either. Instead, you got in your car and just drove. You had no direction, no destination, nothing, just going wherever the road took you. And in front of the river, you found your dead end and so you halted the car there and sunk back into your seat, shutting your eyes, breathing deeply.

Why was Jimin doing this? Why did he call you, worry for you, do all of that and when you did the same, when you reached out concerned to him, why did he push you away? Why did he ignore you all these days while really, he was worried about you? Why would he not listen to you?

You open your eyes, tears refusing to spill out of them when you see far away, a red flickering dot of light and the heavy feeling in your heart returns. You remember seeing a light like that for years when you walked back home from Jimin’s place as a child - The blinking red light across the stream when you looked over the bridge. Jimin once told you that the blinking red light of the camera before taking a photo was his biggest fear, it always made him anxious and self conscious. Back then you laughed because seemed silly but soon after every time you saw a light like that, it reminded you of him. Like a lot of little little things in life, you always found things that reminded you of him. A life without Jimin was as good as unimaginable for you but here you are, living it, experiencing it every moment, watching him walk away all the time.

But this was enough. After you found out today that he was so concerned yet he kept stopping himself from approaching you, you were not going to hold back. You were, somehow or the other, going to explain to him what you meant and ask him to stop behaving like this. Yes he pushed you away but maybe you didn’t try hard enough to approach him. You were done with this game of silence, you weren’t going to take it anymore.

Stepping on the gas, you bound home, parking your car as soon as you can and enter your house only to see Jimin isn’t back home. You switch on the lights and it indeed is empty and it worries you instantly. He was hurt wasn’t he? Where was he then at this time of the night?

And you’re not even done thinking when you hear the door opening behind you and Jimin limping in slowly. You rush towards him but he stops you.

“Jimin you’re-“

“You’re early.”

“Yeah I didn’t go back to work-- W-where are you going?” You call out behind him as he begins to walk away.

“My room?”

“No you’re not.” You place yourself between him and the stairs. “Jimin, a part of the ceiling just fell today, what do you mean you are-“

“Yeah, so there’s nothing else to fall. I’ll be fine.”

“Jimin, No. It’s dangerous, for fuck’s sake, Don’t stay in your room-“

“Then where do I stay? In yours?” He raises an eyebrow sarcastically.

“Yeah okay fine, stay with me but don’t-“

“Wow. Now you want me around?”

“What?”

“Why do you want me to be around you now? Didn’t you ask for distance?” He points between the two of you, taking a step back.

You look at him incredulously. “Jimin, are you stupid? This isn’t the time or situation to talk-“

“It is Y/n, it is. You made it clear that there’s no love, and I don’t want to be the burden of your responsibility. Please let me be-“

“Jimin, just shut up will you?” You cut him off. “There will be other opportunities to be stubborn, but not today, not now-“

“Then when? Why do you get to make all the decisions Y/n? Why do we have to stay apart when you want to and stay with each other when you want to?”

“It’s not about what I want and don’t want Jimin, you’re being childish, this is about you’re safety and because I care for you and-“

“Really Y/n? because I don’t think so. What you’ve put me through the last few months, I don’t think so-“

“Oh enough Jimin! You want to talk about the last few months, then let’s talk properly.” You cross your arms. “You are the one who’s running away. Tell me I haven’t tried to approach you, make conversation or anything after that day? I agree I asked for distance but I never asked us to snap whatever is between us-“

“What’s between us?! You don’t want us to be friends, you don’t want us to be husband and wife, you don’t want us to be anything we were, then what are we but strangers? And strangers don’t interact Y/n. I am giving you exactly what you want, yet-“

“You’ve really not grown up Jimin. You really haven’t. All I asked was for us to have some space, Space from what you ask? Question yourself that Jimin. When all that was between us was friendship, what was the kiss after the Christmas party about? What were those jealous looks about? What was that-“

“That?” Jimin frowns at you. “You...oh my god for fuck’s sake Y/n!, I was tipsy that night! I had drunk after quite some time, I wasn’t exactly in my senses, it was a mistake. We were alone and close and all-”

“We have been alone and close many times in the past Jimin! We’ve been in situations worse than this before, yet you’re telling me now you thought it was okay to-”

“I didn’t think it was okay! I apologized because I was wrong. Because it was my mistake. And to be honest Y/n, I regret it more than you ever can and ever will because......because....you know why.”

Yes. Because he loved someone else. That’s why.

“And what about telling your mother?”

“My mother?”

“Why did you give her hope that everything between us was okay Jimin? Why give her that-”

“Because it’s the only thing I can do! I can only give her hope Y/n, nothing else. You and I, we married for our family, we married because that’s what they wanted, you and I are living this whole pretentious life because of them, what was the point of all we had done so far then? Of all you and I sacrificed?”

“That didn’t mean you....you didn’t have to lie to her alright!-”

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t tell her! I said not now, not when she was alone, not when she had no one with her who can help her understand and handle her. I would have told her Y/n, I just wanted some time-”

“You didn’t say that-”

“I did! I told you not now, but later-”

“You said it was too late already-”

“Because it is!” He takes a frustrated step towards you. “It is too late but that didn’t mean we wouldn’t tell them! There’s a certain time and situation for everything Y/n, but you just don’t agree because you’re stubborn! You’re always stubborn about having things happen when and how you like it. And the part I fail to understand is why you have a problem even when things are happening your way-”

“I’m stubborn? Okay, fine. Let’s say I am stubborn and I do want things to happen my way. If that is the case then this.....this is not what I want! You walking out on me every time, you ignoring me on every possible occasion, this was not what I meant-”

“Then what does stay away mean Y/n? Things you did when I first came here? Not sharing a room or a bed, not eating together, that’s what it means to stay away?”

“No Jimin, it means give me my space. Letting me be someone who has a life without you as well whose happiness or worries do not be dependent on you all the time. Letting at least a few memories of mine ones without you, letting me breath without you around! Please Jimin, you and I are at a point where everything is so difficult, where nothing between us is clear. It’s so hard to know that we are married yet pretend like we are not, to know things have changed yet behave like all is fine. I....I can’t! I can’t make up my mind about anything, I still need time and space to understand who we are and what we mean to each other. I just wanted to understand what you mean in my life Jimin, not cut you off from it. Whatever maybe unclear but one thing for certain is that I care about you! And you do too- don’t lie I know about your phone calls, don’t complicate things more with a lie now.”

You take a tired breath and look at him desperately. “Jimin please, I don’t want you cut me off that was not what I meant when I said that. If it sounded like that I’m sorry, I was mad and I wasn’t thinking straight but I did try to explain to you all these days and yet you didn’t allow me to...” He’s silently staring at you, expressionless as you feel your shoulders droop. “Why won’t you say anything?”

Jimin purses his lips in thought before speaking. “I get it. I got everything you said, everything you want and everything you don’t, so listen to me now. Your idea of space is very different from mine. And it’s not just you, it’s me who needs time to think through what we are as well. Yes, I won’t lie, I care for you, more than anyone in fact, but I can’t show it Y/n. Because showing how much you mean to me means having you around all the time, and clearly you don’t want that, neither do I. I think for now, it’s best we let things be how they are-”

“Jimin, please-”

“Please Y/n, you have no idea how difficult this is for me too. You’re not the only hurt here, you’re not the only one who has things you need to figure out. I understand you’re shaken up by that night, that kiss changed perspectives of our relationship for you, but it has for me as well. I’m going through things you won’t understand and you’re going through things I won’t. Even now as we stand across each other, discussing, we both aren’t honest. You know, you aren’t telling me everything and I know, I’m not either and I know it’s because both of us haven’t figured out how to do it. Let’s fight the battles within ourselves first Y/n, then we can think about everything else. Till then, I think it’s best we let things be the way they are. I think this distance is what we need.”

He takes a step back, still limping as he makes his way towards his room and silence is playing it’s games with you again.

“She’s here!” Jimin’s sister Jennie screams the moment she sees you pulling your luggage, walking into the resort with Jimin right behind you. She grabs you in a hug, wrapping you tight in her embrace. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you Y/n! And no what am I doing? I’m still mad at you, why didn’t you come earlier? Everyone was here yesterday!”

She pouts in anger as you look at Jimin who only has a blank face to offer.

The morning after the accident, Jimin left a message that he was leaving for his reunion with a short note. A note that ended with a take care. You stared at it for hard and long that morning before you left to work, thinking about it as you drove, thining about it as you started the experiment you stalled the previous day - it was at the back of your mind for a long time. And just when you thought you had spent enough time on it, Jimin called you but you didn’t pick up. You don’t know why. Maybe because you were tired, maybe because you were hurt. You just didn’t pick up.

He called you again in a bit, only to receive no response once more, after which he finally messaged you. - Pick up Y/n, for mom.

Taking a deep breath you, dialed back, when you heard his voice.

Hello? Y/n?

You offer him the silence he wants. Jimin lets out a very audible sigh. You hear him try to hand over the phone and his mother’s refusal to talk in the background. ‘I’m not listening to any excuses, I want her here. I don’t know what you both will do...” And you hear his voice again.

Everyone here is....is expecting you. I told them you had work, that you can’t come but they insist that it’s a matter of a few days.....

You continue to stay silent.

....But if you can make it then please, please just.....just come here Y/n.....Y/n? Y/n are you-

You cut the call.

Late the next morning, after nearly 10 hours of flying, you found yourself standing in the airport in Maldives with your luggage, waiting for a cab.

You aren’t doing this for him,this wasn’t about Jimin. You only decided to head over when his mother messaged you - I know it’s difficult for you to make it Y/n, I know we always keeping asking too much of you. My family hasn’t been feeling complete in a long time and with your absence, it feels even more so. If for the sake of this mother you can make it, even if it’s just for a day, do come over. I’d love to see my dear.

And like always, you couldn’t turn the woman down. You were doing this for his mom. For both your parents. Like all these days. It was for them.

Jimin was waiting for you like he expected you to be there. He approached you before you even noticed his presence, taking your bag from your grip. You turned around defensively and stopped when you realized it was him.

“You’re here?”

“Thought you’d be coming.”

“I can come on my own.”

“I know. Mom sent me.”

With that he takes the bag from your hand and walks to the cab.

You sat behind as he took his seat next to the driver.

He handed a sandwich just as you get comfortable. “The food in the plane must have been horrible.”

You stared at his outstretched hand, blinked twice and turned away, looking out of the window.

Jimin opened his mouth to say something but nothing but silence left him.

And that’s how you found yourself here.

That’s how you reached the resort in Maldives standing among Jimin’s family member’s, all beyond excited to see you there. Jimin silently stands in the corner as they all talk to you, scolding you for your late arrival, claiming that you were all going to have a great time. You look at Jimin nervously. You didn’t think so.

When you are sent to Jimin’s room to freshen up, the moment he closes the door you turn to him.

“I’m sorry, I know you wanted to not have me around but-”

“-It’s not-”

‘- I came for your mom. I didn’t want to be a hindrance. I won’t disturb you, I promise.”

“Y/n-”

With that you leave him stuttering by himself. If this was what he wanted, this was what he would get.

Jimin stares blankly as you leave him alone.

“Let’s play another round!”

The entire family is sitting around a private bonfire by the beach, all chattering and laughing through the night. The sun is still on its way down, the sky emitting shades of orange as though it was the same fire coursing through your systems. With you sitting in Jimin’s embrace, both of you pretending like you were enjoying every moment together, every inch of you was on.

Jimin was initially sitting between his parents, claiming to have missed them for a long time while his cousins, all of whom were excited to have you around, dragged you to sit amongst them. Though you were so far apart apart, you found yourself looking at him way too often. He was laughing and smiling finally, like he didn’t all these weeks, the natural rosy red returning on his face. Whenever he turned to look at you though, you looked away.

As the night grew darker, rounds of would you rather and truth or dare increasing in number, everyone resorted to snuggling under blankets that Jennie began handing out. As you sat against the tree behing you, hugging your knees, turning down a blanket because you were worried about shortage, Jimin had walked up to you holding his hand out. You looked up at him, questions swimming in your eyes but he didn’t draw his hand back and when you looked around confused, you saw his mother discretely looking at you both from the corner of her eye. No wonder.....

You took his hand as he pulled you up, sitting down in your place instead, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders, and everyone around him burst out into fond laughters at how easily he fooled you, teasing you. Hiding your annoyance, you let out an barely visible, irritated breath and turned to leave when he pulled you by the hand into his lap, wrapping his blanket around the two of you together and holding you against the warmth of his chest.

That’s how you found yourself in your current position - you feeling his heart beating behind you, and his laughter ringing in your ears and warm skin against yours.

“Okay!” Jimin’s second cousin Jisoo claps her hands pointing at you. You groan inwardly as you realised you were next. Yeah, the game was fun when it started and this was what you were here for, to spend time with your family, but now it’s getting frustrating and on your nerves. Everyone was throwing around stupid questions not intending to get an answer, rather hoping not to, just to make the person who loses eat a spoonful of wasabi and watch their reaction. “Y/n, truth or dare?”

“Hmm....truth.”

“Okay.....Jimin’s birthday is coming soon-ish, in about two months right? So tell all what you are planning for him!”

Everyone let’s out encouraging oohs as you blink thoughtlessly. His birthday. You didn’t even remember. Jimin’s heart is beating fast behind you.

“I....I uh....I can’t tell you....it’s...its a surprise?” You try to save yourself.

“That means you aren’t answering” The woman before you smiles slowly. “Then it’s punishment time! One spoonful of wasabi coming right up!” She gleefully squeezes the paste onto the spoon as you shake your head.

“Hey that’s not fair! How am I supposed to answer that question without-”

“That’s your problem!” She pushes the spoon into your hand ignoring your argument. “You’ve to do the punishment Y/n!”

You sigh unable to avoid it, taking both, the spoon and a deep breath before quickly stowing it into your mouth as everyone watches, faces crinkled with worry. It takes only three seconds. Three seconds and you convulse, body reacting instantly as it touches your tongue, setting fire in your systems. Everyone around you laughs, amused at first then pitifully and Jimin immediately hands you water from behind you, bringing the glass to your lips, making you drink it.

“It’s not funny Jisoo.” Jimin shakes his head at his cousin who is roaring in laughter at your response.

“Wow Jimin, nearly all of us have done it by now, but you’re only worried when your wife does it. Impartial indeed huh?” She laughs teasing him and it takes a lot for you to not choke on your water.

You take the glass from him, drinking it slowly as he whispers by your ear. “Are you alright?”

You don’t answer him.

“Okay let’s move on!” You call out, grabbing everyone’s attention. “I’m alright now.”

Jimin relaxes for a brief second behind you till he hears his name.

“It’s Jimin next!” His aunt, Jisoo’s mother speaks up this time. “Truth or dare lad?”

“Dare.” He responds immediately.

“Not fair.” Jennie sits up. “He’s only been doing dares all this while and everyone knows Jimin loves dares. It’s high time we hear some truth from you, brother dear.” She stuck her tongue out at him and he sneered at her.

“Okay, truth then.”

“Alright then.......if you had to choose between Y/n and-”

“That’s a would-you-rather question, you can’t ask me that here.” Jimin interjects his sister before she even completes, making her huff in annoyance. “Think of something better, you dimwit.”

“Oh really.” She narrows her eyes at him. “I’m the dimwit? Okay cool, answer this then. What is the most romantic thing you and Y/n have ever done?”

Mrs.Park smacks her daughter on the arm, clicking her tongue in annoyance. “They are a married couple Jen, what kind of question......” She whispers amist everyone’s argument over the question.

“Mom I said romantic, not kinky, why are you getting so-”

“Watch your mouth Jennie.” Her voice is stern, making her daughter mummer under her breath.

“He doesn’t have to be truthful he can just eat the wasabi.....”

As Jimin’s mother shakes her head at her child who is already slowly putting wasabi on the spoon, and everybody laughs at the antics of the youngest in the household, nobody notices how tensed you and Jimin look.

“It was around Christmas time.” Jimin speaks up, making your eyes widen, as you turn to look at him over your shoulder. “Our car broke down and as we waited for it, we saw the first snow and walked home under it.”

The memory flashes before your eyes - Sitting on the hood, throwing snow at him, Jimin warming your hands with his breath, standing so close to you. It was the first time something felt so intimate between you two.

Jisoo’s brother Jinyoung scoffed disinterestedly from across the fire, scrolling through his phone like he was doing the whole game. “I will never understand romance and long painful walks, you guys are weird.”

“What do you want him to do then? Sit down next to his wife and play games on his stupid phone?” His wife snaps next to him, making the crowd erupt into laughter.

“No....How about long drives? By the beach or something? As you see the sunset? See, I can be romantic.” He snaps back at his wife, though smiling at her a little.

“And I will never understand romance and long drives where you fix your eyes on the road.” Jimin speaks unexpectedly. “I mean how is it that you take your eyes off her beautiful face?” You look at him over your shoulder surprised, meeting his eyes. “Try taking a walk with her. The kinds that you keep tripping in because you are so lost in her eyes.”

Jimin doesn’t break his gaze until you shift uncomfortably, turning away, praying to god he can’t hear how fast his heart was beating. How did he manage to do it? How did he manage to pretend everything was okay all the time? Was is just your heart which was a mess?

Jennie lets out the biggest aw ever as Jimin turns to her smirking. “Sister dear, it’s your turn isn’t it? Truth or dare?”

“Truth...” She pips timidly as Jimin lets out a satisfied sigh. “Alright, be honest and tell us all......how many boyfriends have you had so far?”

All his cousins instantly snickere into their hands, everyone being well aware of her notorious record of dating a long list of men as the adults frown confused. Jimin leans, half laughing, whispering to his sister, “Either answer honestly or eat the wasabi, sister dear.”

She smacks him across the arm, making a pouty face. “You are the meanest person ever-”

“Hey! It’s a proper question-”

“I hate you Jimin-”

“But I love you Jen-”

“No you don’t! Only Hoseok loves me, he would never ask me such -”

She suddenly falls silent, the mood of the gathering instantly turning solemn. You can feel your heart physically clench for a second, pain shooting up your chest, as Jimin too stiffened behind you. Looking down in the silence, you refuse to react, knowing it can only go one way. You had to control yourself and keep calm.

When you look up, you can see Jennie’s lower lip tremble as she quickly reaches for the wasabi, squeezing some straight into her mouth, blinking away tears till they started spilling down her cheeks.

“God, this is bad....” She struggles to grin through her pricked tears, wiping them but you know where they are coming from. They aren’t because of the sting of the paste, and you know that because your eyes were threatening to fill with tears for the same reason as hers. Jimin’s mother stands up excusing herself as his father immediately follows her. You try to get up too but Jimin has his hands wrapped around you tightly, holding you against his chest, his hand rubbing your arm softly, almost comfortingly.

Jisoo clears her throat, grabbing everyone’s attention, “Well that was....that was fun, let’s do something else then! How about a song? Jennie?”

Jennie nods slowly, grabbing her guitar and walking up to the front. As she tuned it and started softly strumming, Jimin’s parents come back, both giving you and Jimin a soft smile which you return, Jimin further wrapping you in his warm embrace as the night passed by, stars shining brighter, one in particular, the sky turning darker.

And that’s how your only night in Maldives is spent. You in his arms, both of your tired bodies eventually drifting off to sleep with the soulful music, all your thoughts being forced to get lost in the wilderness.

When you stir awake up in the morning as the sun rises, you are still in his embrace, face half buried in his chest and his arms still locked around you.

“Jimin....” You whisper looking up at him, noticing everyone around was still asleep and he groans slightly, loosening his grip around you, and falling back to sleep. You free yourself from him and stand up, stretching, walking closer to the waters as you watched the sun rise, its colours splattered across the morning sky. You barely stand for a minute when you hear scrambling noises around you and see Jimin waking up, looking around for you before he finally spots you standing, a little more awake now. He stands up, gathering the blanket and walks towards you, standing right beside.

“Sorry......” He starts slow. “About last night, I should have -”

You don’t even let him finish as you walk away.

“This egg and toast tastes so good, I want to kiss the chefs hand.” Jimin gobbles breakfast hungrily as everyone around the dining table snickered.

“Go kiss your wife’s hand then.” His father teases him as you choke on your food down the table. Jimin blinks at you, meeting your eye, but you look away, down at your food, picking it up clumsily with your fork. Jimin’s mother softly places her hand over yours, her eyes flickering between you and her son. “Is....Is everything okay?”

You swallow hard, heading reeling with thoughts. Should you tell her? That what she saw and heard yesterday was all a lie, that nothing was even close to what your and Jimin’s relationship seemed like? If his parents knew you both were so unhappy with your marriage, your father too would know soon and most importantly, they’d understand. If you tell them that you tried for almost a year now because you respected them and so tried to keep the marriage going but now it wasn’t working out anymore, they’d support you. Then maybe you wouldn’t have to put up with these pretenses anymore. Maybe you can end this once and for all.

But you look at the happy, chattering faces around the table. It would be selfish to spoil the mood because of your personal problem. You had to agree that Jimin was right. There’s a time and place for everything, and this perhaps, was not right. So you just shake your head convincing yourself to live with the misery you have been in for a little longer and turn to her. “Yeah, of course, I’m just tensed about work....I’ve to be in the lab the moment I return and it all seems so hectic.....”

She pats your hand. “You’re a smart person Y/n, you’ll figure it out I’m sure you will.”

You smile back at her, gripping the fork hard, feeling horrible for lying to her once more.

As you clear up after everyone, chatting with Jennie, he walks up to you, holding you by the elbow, smiling at the woman across you.

“Hey Jennie, I’m gonna borrow my wife for just a minute yeah?”

She nods as he pulls you aside into a nearby corridor, looking around to see if you had company.

“My mother is asking me questions. She said she feels like something doesn’t feel right and last night she somehow it seemed like we were forcing ourselves to look happy. I don’t know what more she expects......”

You stare at him blankly, not knowing what he was expecting you to say. He lets out a frustrated groan, “For fuck’s sake say something Y/n!”

“What? What do you want me to say?”

“We are raising eyebrows, we aren’t convincing enough. This- ” He points at the two of you. “-doesn’t look like a happy marriage Y/n-”

“It’s not.”

Jimin quietens at your words, letting out a sigh. “I know. But the world doesn’t and they don’t need to-”

“But I can’t do more than this Jimin! I can’t pretend like you. For almost a year now I’ve been trying to pretend everything is okay or hoping that at least it will be and it’s getting me nowhere. I’m done trying, I’m done trying to hide. I’m sorry it’s not enough, but I can’t do anymore.”

With that you pull your hand away from his grip and walk away.

Unlike other times when he always watched you walk away, he follows you into your room, shutting the door behind you. You turn around to him as he approaches you, taking a step back, “Stop Jimin.”

“You’re being unreasonable Y/n-”

“Wow thanks.” You throw your hands in the air. “Thanks for telling me the exact same things I’ve been telling you all this while. I hope you know how it feels now-”

“This is not the time for you to get back at me Y/n! It isn’t just you and me here-”

“What makes you think I’m getting back at you?!” You stare at him incredulously. “You said you wanted distance, you said stay away and I’m doing that yet you have a problem?”

Jimin grows silent.

“What?” You mock him, raising your eyebrow. “Sounds exactly like what you said to me? Good! At least now you’ll know what an asshole you were-”

Jimin holds your wrist pinning it to your back, pushing you against the wall, knocking over the vases next to you in the process, as they land crashing on the floor.

“Enough.” He growls with his voice low, incredibly close to you. “I’m not an asshole if I don’t let you always have your way Y/n. You can’t walk away from me whenever you feel and expect me to run back to you whenever you want me to-”

“I never did....I never wanted to walk away from you Jimin, you never understood that. You never understood me and-”

“You don’t understand me. We both don’t seem to understand each other, so let’s talk.”

“Oh now you want to talk? When I tried to tell you that night, when I begged you Jimin, you did’t listen -”

“Because I was mad! I was mad and hurt at how easy it was for you to spend all your time working and not have to face the emptiness of this relationship like I did everyday.” You open your mouth to talk but he shuts it, covering it with his hand, continuing, ignoring your widened eyes. “I was mad that it was so easy for you to walk off and so easy to just come back like everything will be normal -ow! What the fuck Y/n! ”

He shouts as you bite the inside of his hand, making him draw it back, shaking it fast. “Wow really mature-”

“How could you even think it wasn’t difficulty for me Jimin?!-”

“It didn’t look like it!-”

“It would have if you listened to me!-”

“All I do is listen to you!” Jimin is almost shouting. “All you want me to do is listen to you! Do you ever listen to what I want-”

“Fine!” You too raise your voice, annoyed at how like always, this conversation too seemed to be going nowhere. “Fine. I’ll listen to you, tell me now.”

Jimin stares, lips parted and you knew him well enough to tell, he had no idea.

“What? Why are you quiet?”

“I...I don’t know okay!” The smashes the wall behind you with his hands on either side. “I don’t know what I want, I’m confused and I just can’t figure out! Your presence and absence, both affect me in ways I cannot understand -”

“Well that’s exactly what I’ve been feeling ever since we got married.” You say softly because really, you do understand. You understand what it is like. Taking a deep breath you explain, “I like having you around but at the same time every time I look at you, it pains me and I want you gone but when you’re not there, it hurts me even more and it’s all so messed up....”

“What do we do now Y/n?” Jimin sighs.

“I don’t know.” You shake your head.

And the two of you just stand like that, lost, and unguided, seconds turning to minutes, until Jennie slams the door open, making you jump apart.

“Oh sorry!” She squeals turning around as the two of you awkwardly look at each other. “The cab is here to take Y/n to the airport, he’s been waiting for a while, so if you guys are done then....”

Jimin nods at her slowly, looking at you, as he swallows on nothing, “Yeah, we are done here.”

You can’t tell if it’s a question or a statement.

“I’ll...I’ll see you at home” You take a step back, grabbing your luggage, ignoring the scattered broken pieces of the vase, a memory flashing in your mind of the night of your wedding, which ended like this - broken, shattered pieces everywhere.

It’s only as you shut the door behind you that you hear him. “Be careful Y/n.”

It’s been a week since you returned from Maldives and nothing had reall changed.

That night, you left the resort, having booked tickets only for day, just to please Jimin’s mother with your presence. You had to be present at the lab when the consolidated results came out, so staying for long was never a possibility. The family sadly sent you off as you left much ahead of everyone else, unable to be there for the barbecue party at night or the trip to the beach they had arranged for the next day. Jimin’s mother offered to send her son to the airport but you refused, stating you could go alone and a wave was all that did the job of a farewell between the two of you.

Since you returned to London you had been in the lab for about four days straight, making reports and analysis for nights together. Exactly when you returned home finally done with your work, with days of sleep in your eyes, Jimin had left to Scotland. He left you a message about it stating he had to leave for some business expansion works and would take over two weeks to come back and you know what that meant - More time without clarity about what was between you both. You still didn’t understand if the conversation between the both of you was over or not and what to make out of it. You could only roam about in the same ambiguity you had in all these months and sigh at how nothing seemed to be able to heal your bruised relationship and how much longer it was taking to find answers.

But the answer came soon, and in the most unexpected way.

They say in life you have to lose something to gain something. In a week the truth behind those words hit you.

It’s nearly midnight when Jimin rushes back urgently from Scotland halfway through his trip to find you.

He finds you sitting on the floor in the middle of the bathroom, fully clothed, hair still up. Your knees are against your chest and arms wrapped around them and the water from the shower head is falling on you so he cannot tell whether you are drenched in water or tears. And your head hurts so much from all the pain that you are barely thinking straight at all. You have no idea what you are doing.

Jimin has no idea how long you have been sitting like this either. It breaks his heart to see you like that though. Someone who is always so strong, looking so shattered before him. He immediately enters the shower switching off the faucet, crouching in front of you, trying not to get his pant wet on the bathroom floor.

“Y/n....” He shakes you by the arm gently when you don’t respond, still gaining no reaction from you. “What have you done to yourself....”

You are this close to losing the little bit sanity left in you, this close to burying your face between your knees and sobbing miserably. But you don’t allow yourself to cry properly, not in front of Jimin. You don’t want to burden him with your tears, not now, not ever. But like always, Jimin knows. He knows why you keep wiping your tears away every other minute and why your voice is getting stuck in your throat and not leaving you.

Making up his mind, he gets up and switches on the faucet again, before sitting right behind you, legs on either side, both your knees against his, his entire body cradling yours. He gently removes your hair band letting you hair drop over your shoulders, and pulls you back into his arms, as you feel his chest against the length of your back, and his breath at the crook of your neck. And he gently holds you in his embrace as the water continues to fall on you both sitting on the bathroom floor silently, and you allow yourself to cry again. Hot hot tears make their way down your face, every bottled up emotion slowly finding its release. This is just what you needed, silence and a way to let your tears flow in the quiet. Jimin’s presence makes it all the more comforting.

But before minutes turned into hours, you snap back into your senses realizing what you are doing.

“Jimin....”

He reacts instantly, straightening up, “Are you alright?”

You nod softly as he stands up, switching off the faucet and holds his hand out. You look up at him properly for the first time in days now. He stands drenched head to toe, dressed in a formal white shirt and black pant which he often wore to this workplace. Normally the way his shirt is sticking to his body would have affected you but not tonight. Too many unexpected things happened tonight. One was the phone call and the other, Jimin’s presence.

You hesitatingly take his hand as he helps you stand, joints aching a little from the rigid position you were seated in. Before you can say anything though, Jimin quickly rushes out of the bathroom, returning with a towel which he hands you and a pair of your clothes which he hangs on the nearby stand. Slightly contemplating on what to do, he hesitates then decides to leave again, closing the door behind him as he goes giving you your privacy. You slowly step out of the shower in your dripping wet clothes and strip out of them before drying yourself gently, skin still sensitive everywhere from hours of staying in the water. You look in the mirror at your swollen eyes and red face. You are glad it was impossible to see one’s heart. You don’t want to see what a mess yours was at the moment.

When you change and step out, Jimin has already dried himself, changed and is waiting for you, standing right up the moment he sees you, walking to you. Unexpectedly, he guides you towards the edge of the bed making you sit down and takes the towel from your hand, gently drying your hair as you sit with your knees between his legs, looking up at him questioningly through the wet strands.

“You’re going to catch a cold if its wet for long.”

You know that. You’re a science major of course you know that, but you just keep quiet. Today you need him more than ever because you know and so does he, that he is the only one who can handle the broken pieces of you. You look down as tears form in your eyes again, but Jimin crouches down, getting on his knees before you, lifting your head by the chin.

“You don’t have to hide them from me Y/n.” He smoothly tosses the towel on the near by chair and holds your hands in his. “It’s okay. Don’t hide them.”

He strokes the back of your hand gently, looking at how much thinner you have gotten over the past few weeks. “I know how you are feeling Y/n. This...this isn’t going to be an easy phase. For you or for me, as a matter of fact. But I’m always there for you Y/n. Always there to talk. To cry. To scream. I’m always there.”

You feel your voice leaving you like a whisper. “Are you really?”

Jimin nods raising his head and you can see, his eyes are glassy as well. “Am I not?”

No matter what the relationship between you and Jimin seemed like, no matter what you both made it look like, no matter what happened, you knew Jimin was always there for you. When you got the phone call in the evening though, he was not home. And as you sat in the shower screaming and wailing and crying till it was so hard to breathe and even harder to cry, the only things that listened to you were the walls and the silence Jimin left you in.

But seeing him by your bed again, the feeling returns to the back of your mind. The feeling that Jimin is always there, no matter what.

He helps you stand, holding your shoulders as he leads you to bed, making you lie down, pulling the covers over you.

“I’ll be upstairs if you need me.” He tucks you in properly before taking a step back, ready to leave you alone again. You don’t think you can bear it anymore, not when everyone you want seems to be leaving you. You hold his hand just as he is about to go but you can’t bring yourself to say anything. Stay. Don’t leave.

But he doesn’t ask anything either. He simply switches off the bed lamp and slips under your comforter with you in the darkness of the night.

“Try to sleep Y/n.” He pushes the strands of your hair off your face and slowly pats your head. “It’s going to be a long night otherwise.”

“If you were me, would you be able to sleep?”

Jimin is silent for a while. You can’t see his face but he is looking at you sadly, you know. “No. I’d be crying my eyes out. I’d probably even be screaming the whole night.”

“I did that.” You whisper into the nothingness. “You weren’t there.”

It’s as though a lump is stuck in Jimin’s throat. You think he’s tearing up. His voice is usually like this when he cries.

“I’m so sorry Y/n. I should have-”

“You couldn’t have, it’s not your fault.”

“But it is.” He insists. “I could have come back earlier but I chose to stay. I chose to stay away for a while so I could gather my thoughts and think everything through....”

“You went away on purpose.” You speak softly in the silence.

“It was hard to be okay seeing you over and over again and not knowing what to do.. I thought we should take that space and I was wrong. I should have been here, its my fault-”

“No.” You whisper. “I’m sorry. If not for me none of this would have happened. Like so many things, I’m the one to blame.”

Jimin is silent, letting you speak, pour your heart out.

“I’ve always been so stupid Jimin. You’re mother told me. She told me he wasn’t feeling well, she asked me to come see him. I didn’t listen. I was all about work and work and work that I prioritized it over my father. My own father. And now look. He’s gone.”

You can feel your breath hitching in your throat as the tears begin to spring up once again. And you are crying, sobbing full fledged, hot hot tears making their way down your face. Jimin pulls you towards him and you wrap your arms around him, burying your face in the crook of his neck, weeping uncontrollably. His arms cradle you gently as his hand slowly moves against your hair, stroking you calmingly. It takes a while for the hics to stop and your breath stabilize to again so you could find your voice and Jimin is patient with you the whole while.

“I should have gone to see him. I’m stupid Jimin. I’m so stupid. I shouldn’t have-”

“Shh shh Y/n.” He holds you tighter and you reciprocate, snuggling into his warmth as your tears stained his shirt. “I know you want to speak right now. But you need to sleep Y/n. It’s going to be a long night otherwise. And it won’t be easy.”

“Will you be here?” You didn’t think he’d hear it. You didn’t really want him to.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

You can feel his lips on the crown of your head but the tiredness of your body, the scent of his and the dull thumping of his heartbeat against your chest all lull you to sleep.

Whether it’s the sudden fear that he’s not there which wakes you up in the middle of the night or thirst, you don’t know. Yes your throat did feel dry and you did badly want water but the sight before you makes you forget everything because it is the only thing that matters.

Jimin is in a deep slumber like he hadn’t had the chance to sleep this well in days now. His lips are slightly parted and his breathing rhythmic, chest moving up and down slowly. His face is millimeters apart from you but not touching yours - nose, lips, all hovering next to each other. It’s times like this that remind you why you’re so in love in with him and why doing this was so hard. You want to kiss him, run your hands all over him, make him yours and become his in every way possible but there’s a part of you that will never allow you to do that. The part that drowns in guilt every day.

And the sight you longed so much for is before you only till the sun would rise a few hours from later, so closing your eyes you let your nose graze his, your breaths mingling and forced yourself to sleep once you’ve memorized the picture of him like this. A part of you wants to wish the sun will never rise but experience tells you that to wish for something so big is so dangerous, and so you simply fall back to sleep before feeling his arms wrap you tighter once again.

When you wake up in the morning Jimin isn’t before you. Your heart is just about sink because of his absence but you can feel the weight of his arm around you and his breath against the nape of your neck. You turn, just a little bit, just enough to see his face as he slowly opens his eyes, blinking, looking dazed. It takes a whole minute before he can open them fully and look at you.

“Did you sleep well?” He looks at you, arms still around your waist.

“Much better than I thought I would.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Are you? Shall I make something?” You try to get up but he isn’t letting you go.

“How about you shower and I’ll see about breakfast?” Jimin sits up, stretching. You follow his action as he slips out of bed, and you nod to his proposal. Your body is too tired all over to protest.

As you pull up your messy hair into a ponytail Jimin watches you standing at the edge of your bed, the features of his face molded with concern,

“What?”

He shakes his head, his hand cupping your cheek, lifting it to look in your eyes. “Are you okay?”

His eyes show so much but you can’t understand it. Sometimes words are the most important but both of you aren’t finding the right ones to say to each other. You take his hand in yours and stare at how they fit in each other.

“I don’t know Jimin.”

He tightens his grip on your hand and leans in, kissing your forehead softly. “Everything will be fine.” He pulls back, a small reassuring smile on his face.

You nod letting his hand go and he takes it back, walking away. And as he leaves your heart as usual is beating at double the speed.

After shower when you go down, true to his word Jimin is nearly done with making breakfast. The smell of pancakes is wafting through the living room as you walk out of the room. Jimin looks up from his task of pouring juice into the glass as you approach and frowns.

“It’s strange seeing you in pajamas in the morning.”

“You didn’t exactly leave me with a choice.” You sit down at the kitchen counter as he sets the plate before you, pancakes stacked clumsily. “You called Jin.”

Jimin looks apologetic. When you came out of the shower and checked your phone, Jin’s message surprised you. A week’s holiday and an extended submission date for your projects - obviously your boss had got the news and there could be no one but Jimin who gave it to him.

Jimin whispers a small sorry before producing an envelope from his back pocket and slides it across the table towards you. You look at him perplexed before taking it, scrounging through its contents. It’s two flight tickets to Seoul.

“I needed to know how long we could go for......”

You are still staring at the tickets, mind fuzzy.

“Y/n?”

“I.....I don’t want to go Jimin. I can’t.” You drop the tickets on the table, taking your hands back to your lap. “I didn’t go all the while he was there. If I go now, the guilt will crush me. I....I don’t think I can take the burden of that. I already carry enough....”

“Y/n.” Jimin leans across the table letting out a sigh. “I understand how you feel but shouldn’t you go to him one last time? You’re his daughter Y/n. He deserves a send off from you doesn’t he?”

“But Jimin-”

“No buts.” He cuts a piece of pancake for you and holds it out with a fork. “Eat now. I’ll start packing, the flight is in a few hours.”

You look at him, begging to not do this. But he’s adamant. and you know, no amount of argument is going to stop Jimin from taking you to Seoul. You let out a sigh and take the fork from him, causing him to smile.

As you take a bite, surprised at the good taste, Jimin stands up ready to leave. “Not bad. When did you learn to make this?”

“Home economics.” You raise an eyebrow as he shrugs. “What, I told you remember? I took it cause the teacher was hot.”

You actually smile a little at that, shaking your head. “Still, I didn’t know you were capable of doing this by yourself.”

Jimin smiles tucking his hands in his pockets, walking towards you and then behind. “Of course I am. In fact, it’s you who wasn’t supposed cook after getting married.”

His words pleasantly surprise you making you turn around to look him. “You...you remember that?”

Jimin stops walking and looks over his shoulder at you. “I don’t think there’s anything about you that I have forgotten Y/n.” And he walks away, leaving you simply watching him.

Three hours later you’re walking in the departure hall of the airport with your luggage checked in and boarding ticket in your hand. The other hand is held by Jimin who quietly took it as you got out of the taxi about an hour ago and he hasn’t let it go since then. You don’t feel like letting go either.

It’s only when you reach the waiting area outside the gate that Jimin lets go and goes to get the two of you a coffee. As the two of you silently drink it, you can’t help think about how different yet similar the relationship between the two of you was compared to the last time the two of you were in the airport. Close yet far. Distant yet near.

You take the window seat on the plane and Jimin the one next to you.

As the plane takes of you are looking out at the runway, at how the city is getting smaller, at how Seoul is getting closer.

Jimin is looking only at you.

For nearly 5 hours after take off, you sit down under the small light working through your laptop, making your reports and analysis. Jimin went through some magazines, listening to songs for a long time to perhaps give you company, till he gave up being too exhausted and his eyes falling shut, head rolling to the side from time to time as he dozes off. When your joints feel stiff and you stretch, you take a minute to just look at him. At how peaceful he looks when he’s asleep. At how much he looks like Jimin back in the days you were best friends. You can’t help but get a feeling that the Jimin you knew all these years is back and with you again. But then again, it’s not him who had changed. It was you who had.

Jimin’s eyes flutter open slowly at the commotion the baby many seats down the aircraft was creating and his eyes fall on you looking at him. Unlike most times, you don’t quickly look away, pretending like you weren’t looking at him. Instead you continue watching, as Jimin straightens out worried, snapping out of his sleep.

“What’s wrong?”

You shake your head. “You look like a baby when you sleep.”

Jimin laughs softly at that. “You would too. If only you let yourself sleep.” He shuts your laptop and puts his arm around you pulling you closer to rest your head on his shoulder. “Sleep for a while Y/n.”

And the moment your eyes flutter shut, you are fast asleep.

The next time you and Jimin share such close proximity is nearly 12 hours later. As soon as you got off the plane, both of you pull out your shades and scarves, covering your face from any possible media person. Then you sit in the cab, Jimin in front, you at the back. It’s a 3 hour drive home. The whole of the 3 hours though, nothing transpires between you both. You pretend you are lost looking at the traffic of the streets of Seoul while truly watching his tensed expression as he checked his phone, every other minute as though he was expecting someone important or needed to do something crucial. You didn’t ask, he didn’t tell.

When you reach the familiar looking mansion, your first thought is to run away. To not want to face whatever is waiting. All the guilt, all the regrets. You don’t want to face any of them. The moment you get off the cab Jimin’s mum pulls you into her tight embrace. Those two moments of motherly comfort are enough to make your eyes brim with tears. It’s even worse when you hear her starting to sob sorrowfully but you refuse to cry again. Not like this, not in front of everyone. Jimin stands behind you, comfortingly rubbing her back as Mrs. Park pulls back and wipes her tears while you blink away your own.

“Hush now...We are all there for you Y/n. We are always there.”

You nod, drawing back as the servants of the house arrive taking your luggage in one by one. Mrs. Park puts her hand on your cheek softly.

“It must have been a very tiring flight dear. How about you and Jimin head to his room, freshen up and rest for a while?”

You nod again and follow her inside, with Jimin right behind you. The house is still just as you remember it and Jimin’s room, even more so. The moment you step into his room it’s like coming home from a long vacation. Everything feels so safe and comforting, everything brings up a new memory.

There is dust gathering on the window seat where you and Jimin used to hang out for hours together, you reading a book and him thoughtlessly playing with your toes as he texted his girlfriends on his phone.

“Jimin stop it.” You pull your foot back not looking up from your book.

“Hmm.” Jimin doesn’t let you go.

“Jimin that tickles.” You look up at him to see him sitting across you on the window seat, absolutely immersed in his phone.

“Hmm.” He’s barely even listening to you. You roll you eyes.

“Jimin I’m serious!” You lean forward grabbing the phone from him as he looks shocked immediately reaching for it.

“Y/n give it back!”

“I’ve been talking to you the last 5 mins you’ve barely looked at me.”

“I’m sorry it’s just this is important-“

“Who is it?” You look at the name. Hye Jung. You let out a sigh, giving Jimin a cold look before slapping the phone back onto his hand.

“Sorry.” Slamming your book shut, you slide down from the window seat. “Didn’t realise you had such important things.”

“Hey Y/n.” He holds your hand as you start to walk away, tilting his head and looking into your eyes. “Nothing and no one is ever, more important than you.”

Jimin sits on the couch as you walk around it - the couch where you used to laughingly fight as you beat him in the video games or spent nights together binge-watching seasons of Friends.

“You’re cheating!” You look at Jimin shocked

“I did not!”

“You literally pulled the control out of my hand!”

“You dropped it, don’t blame me!”

“You’re a liar Jimin! I’m not playing with you anymore.”

“You’re a sore loser Y/n.”

“I’m not!” You smack him lightly on the arm. “You’re the one being petty!”

“Ow! This isn’t fun anymore.”

“You suggested this!” You look at him incredulously. “I wanted to finish watching season 2 of friends!”

“We can watch later, you’re not going anywhere anytime soon anyways.”

You raise an eyebrow, “I have a house to go back to Jimin?”

Jimin shakes his head firmly. “Not going.”

He beats you narrowly as he crosses the finish line and drops the game control grinning. “That was the best game ever, it couldn’t be more fun.”

You roll your eyes, as he sinks further into the couch. “You literally said it wasn’t fun half a minute ago.”

Head resting back he turns to you, giving you a lopsided smile. “Nothing with you is not fun Y/n.”

As you open the wardrobe before which you would stand and argue about Jimin’s pathetic fashion sense, you see some of your clothes are still hanging there like they always do.

“I can’t stay over tonight Jimin, stop whining.”

“But why not? It’s late and I don’t feel like walking you over to your house now.”

“We have school tomorrow idiot and I’m not sleeping in jeans, I can only sleep in my night clothes.”

“There are so many of your night clothes in my house, literally.” He flings to wardrobe open. “Almost half your wardrobe is here.”

“None of my shorts are.” You point out. “It’s really hot tonight, I want to sleep in my shorts.”

“I’ll switch on the A.C for you?”

“I’m leaving Jimin.”

“Wear one of mine then! I have a lot of shorts anyways-“

“No, sorry, even if it’s just to sleep, I am not wearing those unfashionable shorts of yours, no way.”

“They’re not unfashionable!”

“What boy wears shorts that short Jimin? I barely see girls wear clothes that short.”

“Good for you then isn’t it? You’re a girl, you wear them and sleep.”

“I’m not wearing them, end of story, give me my house keys Jimin.”

He looks at you straight in the eye, “Stay Y/n, please.”

And that night you end up sleeping there in just his shirt, still refusing to wear his shorts, but unable to refuse him.

You walk by the bed, where you spent so many nights falling asleep, as you go to the bathroom, washing your face with the cold waters. Everything in the room held memories that were both painful and comforting.

When you come out, Jimin is still sitting on the couch but with his mother now, engaged in a conversation that did not exactly seem pleasant. Their expressions change the moment they see you, not fast enough for you to not see, enough for you to have questions.

“What happened?”

“Nothing dear.” His mother stands up, slightly worried as Jimin walks up to you putting an arm around you. “I was just telling Jimin here that you both seem to be doing much better now, I can see something has changed.”

Being hurt always changes a lot of things.

You looked at Jimin, well aware. “What’s wrong Jimin? I know something is.”

“Nothing is wrong Y/n, it’s just....” His mother sighs, watchiing you cautiously. “Your father.... It’s the third day today Y/n, he needs to be cremated. The hospital authorities have called saying we need to bring him.....” She stops seeing how you’ve blanked out. “It’s your last chance to-”

“Please.” You look at her pleadingly. “I don’t want to see him.”

“Y/n, honey, he’s your father-”

“Precisely why I can’t do this.” You turn to Jimin, begging him with your eyes. “I listened to you I came to Seoul because you insisted, but please don’t ask this of me. Please don’t make this any harder for me than it already is. I don’t want to go.” He nods his head as he allows you to bury your face at the crook of his neck, wrapping his arms around your shoulder protectively.

“Mum, give us five minutes.”

Jimin’s mother probably nodded because you didn’t hear her voice but you did hear her footsteps as she leaves. Jimin gently rubs his hand against your arm.

“Listen Y/n, if you don’t want to go, no one is going to force. But this is the last time you can see him...”

“See him lifeless? See him like that when I know he will never hug me back, he will never smile at me, he won’t ever.....Oh god no Jimin. I don’t ever want to see him like that, I don’t ever want such a picture in my head, I can never live with it......I can’t.”

“I know, I understand. If this is your choice, then I’ll respect it. But then, at least I should go Y/n. See him off for the both of us.”

You pull back letting him go as he takes a step back. “I’ll be back soon yeah?” He takes another step stopping by the door. “Don’t worry, if anything just call me alright?”

With that he leaves as you sink onto the couch, lost in thoughts, contemplating on how wrong a decision this might have been. Should you go and seen him? What was the point of seeing him after he was gone? Why didn’t you go all these days?

You know why. You know exactly why.

“You called, father?” You peak into the library of your house to see your father sitting on the rocking chair in front of the fire, a book in his hand. He looks up as you enter, removing his glasses to see you better.

“Ah Y/n, come sit.” He beckons you and you sit cross legged on the floor in front of him, extending your hands to feel the warmth of the fire.

“Grown too old to sit in my lap isn’t it?”

You laugh, nodding. “A little too old yes.”

“Old enough for a lot of things Y/n.”

“What do you mean dad?”

“Y/n,” He leans forward tiredly. “You are the only child I have, my only successor, the only one who can take over my business.”

Your face falls realizing what this talk is about. Your father notices it immediately.

“Oh no Y/n. I’m not asking you to take over. I know you don’t want to, you’ve never showed interest for business. Being a scientist, wanting to work in the London, I’m not asking you to let go all those dreams Y/n, I’v always wanted my daughter to do whatever she wants, live life like she wants to.”

“Then what is it?” You frown confused. “If this is not about me inheriting your business then what do you want to talk about?”

“This is still about my business Y/n. If you can see, I’m growing old.” You reach forward and hold his hand. He chuckles at your worry and then turns serious again.”I worked long and hard for this business Y/n. It’s so hard to just let it go to someone else. Besides, there are so many jobs at risk if I let someone take over. So many families that run on those jobs.”

“I’m so sorry dad. I -”

“Don’t apologize dear. I’m not blaming you. I told you, seeing you live your dreams will make me the happiest.” He smiles fondly. “But I don’t want to let the business go so easily. However.....There’s a way I can still ensure it’s safe.”

“How?”

“By merging with the Park’s business.” He proceeds to clarify seeing the confused look on your face. “If we merge our business with the Parks, being the loyal friends they have been for over 30 years now, I know it will be in good hands and that even if I’m not leading it, my opinion will still be respected. But agreements on paper never last long Y/n. Money can make any friend a foe.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean this business deal has to be more than a business deal. And I need your help for it.”

“How can I help dad?”

“Marry into the Park family Y/n.”

You eyes widen at the request. “.....What?’

“I know this is sudden and unexpected but you know I won’t ask you for anything unless I’m helpless. I can’t think of any other way Y/n. This business was as much your mother’s hard work as mine dear. I can’t find any other way to keep it safe.”

You’re silent, mind working fast on the hundreds of things this could mean. You marrying Jimin? You being a part of his life as his wife? You were best friends, what could this mean? How would things change now?

“I’m sorry this is too much to ask Y/n. You’ve grown up with him all your life, I assumed this would be alright with you...”

“But I want to go back to London dad. I want to work there, will he-”

“He’s agreed to follow you there Y/n. We are anyways looking forward to expand the business there. He needs to be there anyways.”

Really? Jimin in London? But you can’t imagine it. Jimin had all his life wanted to stay in Seoul. You remember one summer vacation when you asked to come to London for university he refused, saying he couldn’t dream of a life away from Seoul, that there was no where else he could think of as home. You remember because it disappointed you. Because your desires were so different. Because it meant you could never dream of a life together with him. But now, he was willing to come? For you? But this wedding....What did he think of it?

“And he?” You ask looking up. “Is he okay with this...”

“I’m only asking you after he said yes Y/n.”

Suddenly you feel giddy with nervousness, butterflies attacking every corner of your stomac. This. This is perhaps exactly how everyone feels when a dream comes true.

“Yes. Yes I’ll marry him.”

Your father looks pleasantly surprised, but so happy as he pats your head, smiling. “Thank you Y/n. The Park family will be happy to know you have agreed to marry their elder son, Hoseok.”

And instantly, every single of those dreams come crashing down.

You blamed your father for it. You blamed everything on him. On the one man you trusted would only do something if it meant you good, the one man you loved more than anyone, the one man you never thought would be the cause of this. Knowingly or unknowingly, he had ruined everything.

All your life, you were nothing but thankful to him, for a lot of things. For being the reason you met Jimin in the first place, for his one decision of buying a house in the same locality as him, sending you to the same playschool as him. You were thankful he let you have sixteen beautiful years in the company of Jimin’s friendship. For letting you have those late nights out with your best friend, for laughing with you when you told him about all your silly antics, for consoling you every time you and Jimin had a silly argument. You were really, really grateful to him.

Even when your mother passed away the year you entered high school and your father isolated himself from everyone, submerging deeper and deeper into his work to handle his pain, you weren’t hurt. When he took you away from Korea to London, away from your friends, from everything, all you did was sympathize. He was going to the city he met your mother, a place that held thousands of memories of her that he wanted to live with. You were still thankful that at least once a year, every summer for eight years straight he brought you to Seoul, to Jimin. He let you have those two months to revive the friendship you missed every moment you spent without your best friend.

Until the ninth summer he brought you here and everything changed, your life falling apart into a horrible mess. For this, you blamed your father. You blamed him for your confused marriage, your shattered friendship, your workaholic nature. Everything.

Though really, it wasn’t his fault. It was never his fault. He never wanted anything but the best for you. But you didn’t stop blaming him. Because its so much easier to hold someone else responsible over things you had no control over. It’s so much more easier to point fingers at one person than try and understand what they did and why they did it. You took the easy way out. You simply held him responsible, looking over your own mistakes simply saying the fault was his, refusing to speak to him or even see him. You were hurt every time you thought about him, you thought you’d be even more hurt if you saw him again. But now that he was not there anymore, you realise how much more hurt you are.

Breaking away from your thoughts you see the sky getting darker. The cars of Jimin’s family enter the estate, his mother, father and sister getting down. Jimin is nowhere to be seen. Where was he?

Still wondering, you stand up and decide to submerge yourself in work instead, like you always do when you don’t want to think too much. A little something you had learnt from your father.

After unpacking the suitcases and arranging them in the room, showering and even cleaning up the room a little, you find yourself nearly three hours after the sun had completely set, finishing eating dinner alone in the room. You sit across the most colorful wall of Jimin’s room staring at the pictures of the two of you and your years of memories. They were such beautiful photographs, such wonderful days. There’s pictures of you two all the way from when you were in diapers to your individual high school graduation pictures in two different countries altogether. There’s memories of you in the arcade, in the amusement park, of all the birthday parties you threw for him and his surprised reactions. You’re both smiling and laughing so beautifully in each of them. Except the two latest additions on the wall - your wedding photo and the picture of you both sleeping in each other arms in Maldives. They hurt in a strange way.

You are still staring at them when Jimin finally returns, standing right behind you.

“You looked beautiful on prom day.”

Your vision tunnels on the one photo of you and Jimin standing with your dates in front of the school building. You remembered how much fun Jimin had that night and how much you didn’t, seeing another girl in his arms while having to stand in the arms of another man.

“Did.....Is everything done?” You can feel your voice shaking.

“They cremated him. His ashes have been brought back though, once we read his will, we shall know what he wanted us to do with them. The lawyers are working on some formalities, it should be here in a day or two.”

You nodded silently before speaking up, turning to face him, “Do you think it was a stupid thing to do? To not see him one last time? I didn’t even apologize for everything, didn’t tell him how much I loved him and what he meant to me.”

“Sometimes you don’t need to speak to let the other person know whether you love them or not or how much you love them. If they love you enough they will know.”

For a moment it seems like he’s talking about something else, looking sadly out of the window but then he turns to you again. “You didn’t need to say anything to him Y/n, you had no need to apologize. Your father always thought you were a wonderful daughter Y/n, even though you let the guilt sit in you that you couldn’t do much for him, you did everything he wanted - he wanted to see you live you’re dream, become that scientist you so badly wanted to become. And he saw you live it. I think he went contended Y/n, you have nothing to feel guilty about.”

“Then I should have at least thanked him for everything don’t you think?”

“You can do that now also Y/n.” He takes your hand and places it on your beating heart. “Your father shall always be here. You can thank him all you want whenever you want to.”

You smile slightly because its so simple. Its such a simple answer to a problem that was beginning to eat you on the inside.

“Thank you Jimin....you just saved me from becoming miserable all over again.”

He smiles as the clock makes an echoing sound in the room and he turns to it.

“Go to bed Y/n. It’s late and you should rest.”

You nod, walking to the wardrobe grabbing your night clothes and then into the washroom, and that’s when you realise - Something wasn’t right with Jimin. He was talking to you well, paying attention to your words, being concerned about you but the moment you turned and looked at him through the mirror, he settled on the couch and had his phone out, looking worried at it. Even after you come out after a shower he is still on it and through your entire skincare routine too.

"Should I get dinner put on the table for you?” You walk up to him slowly.

“I ate already, just grabbed some street snacks because I was getting late.” He speaks, still on his phone.

You clear your throat, a little hesitant. “Everyone came back in the evening, what took you so long?”

Jimin finally looks up from that little device. “Nothing important....just....just something I had to do. Don’t worry about it.”

“Is it done?” You look at him questioningly. “Whatever you had to do?”

“Not yet.” You can see the disappointment in him. “But hopefully soon. I’m sure it’ll be.” He stands up, holding your hand to help himself up. “It’s not too important Y/n, don’t bother. You should sleep now, I’ll shower and come.”

As you nod he leaves, scourging through the wardrobe as you slip under the covers. You decide to stay awake at least until he comes, hoping maybe if you ask him once more he’d tell you whats been bothering him ever since he stepped into Seoul but you can’t do it and your eyes flutter shut, pulling you into a deep sleep.

For some reason though you wake up in the middle of the night and when you do, Jimin is not next to you. You panic for a second, instantly sitting up, only to see him at the window seat, illuminated by the moonlight, still fidgeting with his phone. Sighing softly, you kick the sheets off of you, get up and walk to him, and its not until you place your hand on his shoulder that he realizes you’ve woken up.

“Y/n! God you startled me a little-”

“Is everything okay?”

“What? Yeah yeah of course. Just jet lag I guess, I wasn’t feeling very sleepy….” He rubs his neck nervously. You already know he’s lying to you. It’s the same thing still bothering him. “You should go back to sleep Y/n, why’d you wake up? You seem so tired moreover-”

“You’re as exhausted as I am.” Even though he asked you not to worry about it, you can tell by his tensed self that something was seriously going on and he won’t tell you, perhaps to not add to your worries? You don’t know but right now it wasn’t important to know what it was. You just needed him to be okay.

You hold your hand out to him. “Come to bed Jimin.”

He looks at your outstretched hand and takes it, fingers intertwining with a soft smile that makes your heart melt just a little. As you walk hand in hand, climbing into the bed, you don’t know which of you is being taken care of. When you slip under the sheets together, he wraps his arms around you tightly, chin brushing your forehead, and you know for sure now that he’s been hurt, that some part of him is aching.

“Jimin.”

“Hmm.” You can hear him hum in the darkness.

“If there’s anything wrong, you can tell me.”

He’s quiet for a bit. “What’s wrong is….. I don’t know what’s right anymore Y/n.”

You pull back, looking at him in the soft moonlight, eyes meeting his. “What do you mean?”

“You and I. We. Are we right?”

You blink, swallowing on nothing. “I don’t understand.”

“This.” He looks at where your hands meet as the wrap around each other. “Is this right?”

You begin to draw back. “Jimin I-“

“I don’t know any more Y/n.” He tightens his hold around you and you can see his eyes are glassy. “I don’t know anything, and right now, I don’t want to either. I just for once, don’t want to analyse anything, about what’s right and what’s wrong, about what I should do and what I shouldn’t. I want to do what I want without thinking so much about it.”

“Then don’t.” You bring your hands up to his face, softly wiping his tears before they spilled. “If it hurts you to think so much, then don’t.”

“And the consequences?”

You sigh. “There’s no point thinking about them. We waste half our lives thinking about consequences of actions we really want to do. We hurt ourselves thinking about it, and then we hurt ourselves again when we do it. Because if that’s what the heart wants, end of the day, that’s what we end up doing. We end up hurt no matter what Jimin and I’ve learnt these days that maybe it’s just better to let whatever come when it has to. Maybe it’s better to learn to deal with the pain in the end than hurting ourselves twice.”

Jimin takes a breath.

“No point you say?”

You shake your head, pushing his hair back softly.

“No point.”

“Okay then.”

He leans forward pressing a soft kiss on your lips, his hands sliding down your back, curving against your waist. Your eyes widen in surprise as you feel him against you and he whispers by your lips. “Please Y/n.....I don’t want to think tonight.”

Your heart hurts at the despair in his voice. What was going on with him? Why was he so pained? His forehead is against yours, his parted lips are still waiting for you - he needs your approval. He needs you.

Weaving your fingers into the curls of his hair you nod and he lets out the breath he has been holding, kissing you gently once more, pushing you back into the bed as he hovered over you, before drawing back to look into your eyes, sadness etched in them. Taking his face into your hands you leave a trail of kisses from on his forehead down to between his eyes to his nose, and then take his lips with yours, which Jimin audible reacts to. He continues it, pecking the corner of your lips and then across your jawline, down your neck, along your collar bones as your back arches up against him and his hands slide down your thighs.

Suddenly rising up, he grabs the material of his jumper at the back of his neck and pulls it over his head, tossing it over the headboard and in the bare illumination of the room you see something gleaming around his neck, something that makes your heart run fast. You reach up for it as lowers himself back on you, hands on either side of you, frowning as you fingers touch the cold metal of his wedding ring hanging like a pendent.

“It was a little loose, I couldn’t lose it.”

“All this time,” You look up at him remembering every moment you wondered why Jimin never wore his ring. “All this while you had it?”

He nods. “All this time”

As an overwhelmed emotion bubbles in you, you raise yourself to kiss him and he returns it, the passion in his act growing with every passing minute. You run your hands down his bare back as he hooks his hand behind your knees and pulls it up, closer to him, feeling the silky material your night shorts slide down, baring your skin to his fingers.

You push him off you, his back softly hitting the mattress, straddling him instead, and Jimin looks up at you, at the way your hair falls over your shoulder and the slight swelling of your lips because of him and his eyes turn darker. He pulls you closer to him, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“Why are you so beautiful?” He whispers, his breath hot against the skin of your neck, his hand reaching for the first button of your shirt, fumbling with it single-handedly, frowning as you pursed your lips, trying to stop a smile.

“I have a half mind to just rip this open.” He mutters under his breath, finally managing to undo one, moving down your body. You put your hand over his urgent ones, making him meet your eye.

“Just so you know, I’m not too fond of this shirt.” You whisper and he groans, taking less than half a minute to roughly snap the rest of them, exposing your dark blue bra and all the skin it did not cover as Jimin’s eyes trail down it agonizingly slowly as though he’s making a memory of every inch. You straighten, attempting to push the fabric off your shoulders but he doesn’t wait.

“Come here.” He pulls you down into the softness of the mattress, getting on top of you again with a kiss that took your breath away. He sits up, looking at you beneath him, at the way your silky shirt fanned around you letting him properly see everything and he looks at you in subtle awe.

“You really are beautiful Y/n”

And he’s littering kisses again. Down your neck, between your chest, in the dip of your belly button, making you shiver, your fingers tangling in his hair in a way that drew deep sounds from the back of his throat. Breaking away from you once more last time he gets onto his knees between your legs and looks at your worked up self, chest moving up and down way too obviously, as his hands running up your thighs slowing down as they reached the elastic of your shorts, hooking his fingers. You hold your breath waiting for him when you see the expression change slowly as though he realised something and then you see it flash in his eyes - guilt.

He wasn’t doing this because he needed you, he was doing this because he needed a distraction. This wasn’t right, he would only have regrets in the morning, this would only worsen your relationship, and right now, when things seem to be falling into place, you couldn’t have that happening. Before you can stop him though, you can see tears brim in his eyes as he shakes his head, shoulders drooping, his lips trembling. Worried, you quickly sit up as Jimin looks at you apologetically.

“Y/n I....I can’t....this.....this isn’t right, I can’t......I’m sorry....I’m so sorry....”

You nod your head understandingly, taking his face in your hands, your thumbs caressing his cheeks. “It’s okay, it’s alright.....don’t....” He breaks down miserably before you as you pull him closer to you and hug him, trying to calm him down.

“Jimin please don’t.....” He wraps his arms around you sobbing into your shoulder, as you pat his back softly waiting for him to calm down. Nothing stops him, nothing comforts him. Not the silence, not you, nothing. He continues to let out everything he had boxed up in himself until he feels you shiver slightly in his embrace. He pulls back immediately, wiping his nose with the back of his hand, “You’re cold,”

“I’m fine Jimin- hey.” You pointlessly wrap yourself with your unbuttoned shirt and wipe his tears away with your thumbs, pushing the hair falling into his face back. He leans towards you, reaching for his jumper behind you on the headboard and hands it without a word. You look at the thicker material take it and he looks away as you slide your shirt off your shoulders and pull his over your body quickly. When you reach out for him again, he swallows and moves back, refusing to let you touch him.

“No Y/n, I shouldn’t have.....oh god, you have your own things to worry about and look at me right now, making things harder for you and......”

“Hey Jimin no, don’t say that... just like you’ve been there for me, I’ll be there for you no matter what....”

He continues to shake his head though, “It’s selfish Y/n, it’s selfish of me to do this when you-”

You sigh. “No it’s not.” Taking his hand you lead him into the softness of the mattress, making him lie down. Reaching out for the covers by your feet, you pull them over him and lie down next to him, propped on your elbow, looking down at him. He pushes the duvet to cover you as well as you both look at each other, tucked under the sheets. “You didn’t want to think tonight right? So don’t. Just sleep Jimin, if you need me to be there in the morning, I will.”

Jimin nods slowly, as you put your arms around each other in the silence of the both your sorrows, letting the quietness slowly lull you to sleep.

The next morning you wake up before Jimin does.

It’s the knock on your door for your morning coffee that stirs you awake. Jimin is lying on his stomach, his arm still around you, head resting on your shoulder. You slowly push his hand away and he groans in his sleep, turning over. Sliding off the bed, you open the door to take your coffee and Jimin’s mother stands there with it.

“Mrs. Park!” You cover your mouth quickly realising you hadn’t brushed yet.

“Morning dear, sorry were you still sleeping? Thought I’d just check up on you once...”

You shake your head. “No, it’s fine I was going to wake up anyways....everything is fine Mrs. Park.....everything is okay.”

You don’t know if you are reassuring her or yourself.

“That’s good dear, I’m glad. Jimin’s father and I are having breakfast in the lawn in half an hour, it would be nice if you join.”

You nod quickly, taking the tray of coffee as she pats your cheek fondly and leaves.

It’s only when you close the door that you realised how this looked. You in Jimin’s clothes, Jimin sleeping shirtless in your bed. Great. Whatever questions Mrs. Park had about your relationship with Jimin were all probably cleared today....with the wrong answers.

Were they the wrong answers though? What was the answer to Jimin and your relationship? How had last night changed things for both of you? You look at him, still sleeping, with his arm sprawled across his stomach, lips slightly parted. Putting the blanket on him properly, you sit down at the edge of the bed, the night’s events playing in your head.

What were you thinking, letting him do that? Even if Jimin didn’t think about what all that could mean, why didn’t you? You knew very well, yet you let it happen. And it wasn’t because you wanted, but because he needed it. What you didn’t understand was why? Why was Jimin in pain? You thought it was just you, but the tears last night say something else. Why won’t he tell you?

You sigh getting up, walking into the bathroom. Like hundreds of unanswered things between you two, this was another.

When head down to the lawn to have breakfast and greet Jimin’s parents, he’s still not awake. As you eat with them with occasional conversation, you tell them about what you had been speculating over for a while now.

“Mr. Park I was thinking,” You swallow your toast. “I’d like to take responsibility for organizing my father’s wake.”

Mr. and Mrs. Park exchange worried looks before Mrs. Park held your hand across the table. “Y/n dear, it’s alright we can-”

“I barely did anything for him while he was alive.” You look at her pleadingly. “Atleast after he’s gone I want to do the things I’m responsible for. Maybe this way, even if its by a little, I can reduce my guilt.”

Mrs. Park is about to argue again but her husband cuts her off. “I understand Y/n, and if that’s what you really want, then go ahead, I won’t stop you. Just know that anytime you feel like you can’t or you don’t want to do it, you can always come back to me.”

You nod thankfully as you feel a hand on your shoulder, and instantly recognize Jimin’s presence behind you. He drops a kiss on your forehead before sitting down next to you, greeting his parents. Unlike his usual way of eating where he savoured every bite, today Jimin eats breakfast as fast as he can, gulping the juice as he stands up and fishes out for his car keys still munching the last of the tuna sandwiches.

“What’s the hurry honey? Calm down a little.” Even Mrs. Park notices him.

“Just....” Jimin swallows hurriedly. “Just got work to do, I need to be somewhere urgently.”

You frown because you don’t understand what work he has that just cannot wait.

“Jimin wh-” He cuts you off with a kiss and a soft smile that makes you want to forget everything. “I might get late, don’t wait up.”

And with that he waves and leaves, half running, half jogging across the green. Mr. and Mrs. Park shake their heads in annoyance but there’s only worry coursing through your body.

The rest of the day though, you don’t have time to think about Jimin at all.

You realise only after you took over that looking after the preparations, was no small task. From caterers to venue to guest list, everything needed to be arranged, it was like the Christmas party all over again. Except Jimin wasn’t by your side this time.

And you’re so busy the whole day, you don’t even know when the sun went down and how you missed lunch and that Jimin is still not back. He doesn’t join for dinner or after you freshen up and change into your night clothes, to sleep. He’s still not back. You look at the empty bed and it seems so cold and lonely without him that you can’t bring yourself to lie down there. So you sit at the table with your laptop but you’re barely working, eyes flickering between the door and the clock as the hour hand moves from 12 to 1 to 2 to 3 but the door isn’t moving and Jimin is still not back.

You don’t find out when he came back, but you know he did because you wake up in your bed, with creases in the space next to you as though he’s been sleeping there. It’s almost 11 when you are up and you nearly hit yourself for oversleeping because there’s so much work to do. When you reach the living room though, Jimin is already seeing the caterers out.

“Y/n, you’re up.” He walks towards you smiling. “Seems like you had a nice sleep.” He pushes the hair falling messily onto your face.

“Was that the caterers?”

“Yeah just finalized the menu, the quantity though can only be decided-’ He flips through the pages of the folder in his hand. “-once the guest list is properly finalized-”

“Why’re you doing this?” You’re very confused by his actions. The past two days had been so...weird. He disappeared whenever he wanted to, came back as and when he wished. He started whatever he wanted, and stopped whenever he wanted. Just when you’re beginning to think that maybe things weren’t so bad, maybe both of you would share the same space comfortably again, he began hiding from you again, not letting you reach out to him. And now suddenly he;s out here to help you again, being there for you like you thought he would be and it’s all too confusing.

“What do you mean?”

“Till a couple of hours ago you were barely around to see what was going on with me and suddenly you’re here to lessen my burden? Why?”

You take a step towards him and hold his hand to show you’re not mad, you’re worried with whatever is going on with him. “What is it Jimin that you aren’t able to tell me?”

Jimin softly plays with your fingers, looking at it. “Its nothing significantly important Y/n.”

“You’re telling me that all this while you’ve been this worried and busy about something insignificant?”

“Its...its not that straightforward. Let’s just say its some mess I had to clear up and I don’t need to drag you into it.” He lets your hand go as he stuffs his hand in his pocket. “It’s just something I have to do on my own.”

It hurts. It hurts that he’s the one cutting you off now. You thought he just needed his time to tell you. But he didn’t seem to want to let you in at all. After all you had been through together, and after thinking things were getting better, he’s putting distance between you both again.

You take a deep breath nodding firmly and not so harshly take the file from his hand. “And this is something I have to do on my own.”

And with that you walk away, not even looking back at Jimin once more.

The whole day though, despite you refusing his help, he’s around doing something or the other.

It makes you feel a little more eased on the inside to see him around, a little less tensed, smiling even sometimes until you notice that no matter what he’s doing, he doesn’t forget to look at his phone every other minute. You decide to ignore it. It’s better to ignore things we don’t want to see.

Its about an hour after lunch time that he finally approaches you, taking your phone and file from your hand, leading you away despite your protests and questions.

“You need to stop working so much. There’s something else you need to do before.”

Jimin stops the car nearly three hours after driving.

He drove for so long and so far you had no idea where you were. It seems like a cliff though because all you can see before you is a short stretch of land and then the endless sky. You get down from the car and look behind you to see a thick forest and a small path from where you came. On either sides of you is a plunging fall downwards where the ocean crashed onto the rocks.

It was nearly time for sunset and you had never seen the sky look more beautiful. The yellow ball of fire is mixed with hues of orange, merging with the sky, like juice-mix dissolving in a glass of water. The clouds were cotton-candy, as though they blushed at the warm touch of the sun. Silhouettes of birds flew home across a sky that was now magenta; and the sun was half into the water, but its reflection in the sea made it look complete. The mauve of the dusky sky intensified, and the biggest star was ready to set and give way to a thousand other.

“I happened to stumble upon this place years ago when I was out on a drive.” Jimin gets out too, switching off the engine as you walk forward, close to the tip of the cliff but not close enough. He stands protectively next to you. “It helped me forget who I was, where I was, what was needed of me, it helped me forget everything. And since then this is the place I come to when I don’t want to face reality anymore. There’s something so ethereal about how it looks so I thought it would be the best place to say goodbye.”

“Goodbye?” You frown at him. What was all this about?

Your heart is suddenly beating at twice the speed, two times as loud as Jimin walks back to the car and goes behind opening the boot. Suddenly you are scared. Terrified of whatever this was. Say goodbye to each other? Was that what all this was about? Your fists are balled, held tightly in fear, anticipation and so much more. But when he returns what’s in Jimin’s hand worries you even more.

“Your father wanted his ashes scattered in nature. I couldn’t think of a better place than this.” He holds out the urn which holds the last of your father but you don’t react, you don’t move forward to take it, fists still tightly held till blood is starting to leak where your nails dig into your skin. “I’m sorry if it’s not what you would have gone for-”

“It’s better than what I would have imagined.” The words slip out of you because you don’t want Jimin blaming himself for anything. You don’t want him to feel hurt by his decision but you still haven’t made yours. You still haven’t thought whether you wanted to do this “But Jimin....I don’t think I’m ready to let go so soon.”

“He wouldn’t want you to hold on.” Jimin tries to make you see something you already know. You are just pretending you not to, hoping it would mean not facing reality.

“I know.”

“If this was what he wanted, he deserves to get it. it’s our responsibility to give it to him.”

“I know.” You know everything. But yet it’s so hard to do.

Jimin reaches for your hand and brings it up, placing the urn in your arms.

“This is your last chance to say something you want Y/n. Tell him everything you wanted to. Set him free. Set yourself free.” You look at him desperately but you know he’s right. Your father would have wanted this. “I’ll wait in the car if you don’t want me -”

You hold him by your free hand as he turns to leave. “Stay.”

Jimin looks uncertain but when you don’t let go, he stands next to you, lacing his fingers between yours, interlocking your hands.

You place the urn in front of you on the grass and take a deep breath not knowing where to start, there’s so much to say. So you shut your eyes and picture him, his smiling face instantly appearing in your head.

“You know what I loved most about you papa? This might sound stupid but it was your eyes. Those beautiful hazel eyes that captivated me so much.” You open your eyes looking at the sky, speaking to the wind.

“There was something about them that I loved staring at ever since I was a child. Not something actually, there were a lot of things. I loved the little twinkle in them when you looked at mom, or the fondness I saw when you looked at me. I admired how you could keep them open despite hours of working so hard. I was scared of how they almost turned red when you scolded me but that fear used to be gone the moment tears filled in your eyes looking at mine. I loved how they crinkled at the sides when you laughed, how a furrow formed between them when you concentrated trying to help me get my math right. I loved everything about them except one. I hate that they are no longer before me. I hate that I didn’t take the chances I had to see them again. I love them so much that I hate that they’re shut forever now.” Jimin squeezes your hand softly as your voice gets stuck in your throat. You look at him to see him encouraging you to go on with a small nod.

“Do you remember how jealous you were of Jimin papa? That I would tell him all my secrets but not you? That I used to play with him in the evening and not with you? I remember the 8 year old me standing on the coffee table to match you height and promising you that from that day on I would tell you everything. I remember first coming home and sitting on your lap beside that fireplace and narrating the whole days events and you used to listen so bemusedly. You believed me when I told you a lion almost ate me in school, when I told you I saw dragon eggs hatch, when I told you a fairy godmother visited me every night. I wish it were all those stupid stories were all true, I wish I could ask this fairy godmother to give me one last chance to see life in your eyes again.” Tears are fully rushing down your cheeks by now. No more hiding. You are done holding them back.

“I’m sorry I never took every minute of my life to appreciate you, I’m sorry there were days that I spoiled, moments I ruined. I’m sorry for not being there when you wanted me to. I’m sorry I was so selfish. I’m sorry for everything. But there are so many things I have to thank you for. For giving me everything I wanted, for trying to make me happy when I lost those stupid competitions, for supporting me and all my dreams when no one else did, when I myself gave up. Thank you for being the best dad in the world, the best husband the world could give my mother, the best friend I could ever ask. I’ll miss you papa. I’ll miss your coffee and corny jokes and your company. I’ll miss coming home to see you sleeping on that armchair by the fireplace. I’ll miss you every time I see a flower because you taught me how to look at beautiful things the right way. I’ll miss our little arguments and the slamming of the doors. I’ll miss that aching feeling I used to have when we didn’t talk to each other, when we were silent. I’ll miss anything and everything that I see you in.” You wipe your nose with the back of your hand.

“But every time I think of you I’ll hope you are in a better place. I’ll hope you’re finally with your best friend, the woman you love and pined for so much. And when we meet one day in afterlife, I want you to know that I’ve just been waiting to embrace you once more and meet those beautiful hazel eyes that inspired me so much. I love you papa. I always will”

Your chest feels so much lighter all of a sudden. It’s an alleviated feeling, something that was much required after months and months of being suffocated.

“That was beyond beautiful.” You look at Jimin to see him looking at you intently, eyes glassy.

“It was all true.”

“Would you mind if I say something to him?”

It surprises you a little but you shake your head.

“Mr. Y/L/N....’ Jimin speaks, still thinking. “I remember quite some years ago, there was an article in the magazine about you. About your success and the business you and your wife started from scratch, where the interviewer called you a great man, an important asset of the society. When my father proudly showed it to you, you laughed and said it didn’t matter to you. The only person you wanted to hear it from was your daughter. You wanted her to be proud of her father, to see you as her hero, as her inspiration. And now that you’ve heard all she has to say to you, I think you must be happy where ever you are. There are so many achievements that can prove you were a great businessman, so many people who can prove you were a great friend. But I think this one daughter of yours is enough to show you are a good person. The way you she loves you shows the way you bought her up, the person she is because of you - fearless, loyal, passionate, hardworking - they all show what a good person you are. And I know she was your biggest happiness and your biggest worry. I know till the end you only thought about her happiness so today,”

He places your interlocked hands over the dull thud of his heartbeat. “I promise you she will always have me by her side. She will always have a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold if she’s falling, a pair of eyes to look out for her, a pair of ears to hear everything she has to say. She will always have me by her side and even now when she is drowning herself in an ocean of guilt, I will try to be her life preserver. And when we meet one day in afterlife, I think we can thank each other for taking care of the woman who was most important to us both.”

Jimin turns towards you and you swallow the intense desire to throw yourself into his arms. Because that would be such an ordinary way to thank him. You don’t know how else to do it though, anything you do cannot describe what you were feeling.

“Thank you Jimin. That was......No one could have said anything nicer.”

He smiles, but it slowly fades, being replaced by worry as he lets your hand go.

“There’s something else Y/n....” Jimin takes a step back, then two.

“What is it?”

He turns and walks back to the car, bringing out another small urn from the boot. “There’s someone else who also needs to be sent off too.” He walks till he stands next to you, the black ceramic gleaming in his hand. “Someone who is still waiting for you.”

Your breath feels like its lost its purpose. “Is it him?” You take a step back, shaking your head in disbelief. “I didn’t think....I thought...”

“I couldn’t have done it without you Y/n.” Jimin confesses looking at the urn in his hands as he placed it next to your father’s on the ground.

“But I can’t....I can’t Jimin.”

“We have to Y/n. We should send off Hoseok hyung as well.”

97 notes · View notes