#CARTMAN (DANCING)

[emo-ficus]

[whatevahwhatevah]

La creatura

[whatdoessunshinetastelike]

Do you have any headcannons about her connection to Cartman?

they are absolutely friends i really wish the show kept them as a recurring thing cat orgy is literally like one of my top 2 episodes

some ideas

they have tea parties in cartmans yard and shit talk (butters is invited sometimes)

shelly sometimes appears on cartmans youtube channel that averages ~5 views per video and its mostly just them doing bad things sometimes ending in disaster (think the "IT GAVE BIRTH" video)

shelly likes to hold kitty

cartman comes over to hang out with shelly sometimes much to the annoyance of stan

cartman and shelly were meant to be siblings but fate separated them because it knew they would be too powerful

sometimes shelly carries cartman on her back and they run around like that for no real reason other than possibly to appear threatening

they take turns bullying each other and always end up regretting it on both ends

shelly has bitten cartman at least once

liane treats her incredibly well when she is at the cartman household and she gets a ton of food and snacks whcih sometimes annoys eric

i have so many aus featuring these two as a duo (along with butters sometimes) you have no idea

[c0unt-fagu1a]

Kyman Headcanons

Kyle monitors Eric's Twitter/X so he doesn't get banned

They probably watch a shit ton of movies, but Kyle heavily dislikes horror movies, and his least favorite is Human Centipede. They've watched it once, and Kyle hates it. He'd leave the room if Cartman ever tried to get him to watch it again

Kyle sends Eric an alarming amount of Instagram reels/TikToks/dumb shit when he's severely bored

Not entirely Kyman, but Eric is genderfluid (Kyle doesn't care as long as they're both comfortable)

After a while, Eric begins to read the Torah (I think that's the name of the Jewish scripture. Please correct me if I'm wrong) (and when I say after a while, I mean six months to a year)

Eric also thinks about openly converting to Judaism (he does!!)

Shockingly, Eric can cook and bake (he's a housewife fr /j)

They have like 5 million cats (2. It's 2 cats.)

Kyle always steals Eric's clothes because they're "dirty" (he wears them)

Eric wears glasses, and though he hates them, Kyle loves them

It's the same with Kyle's hair– Kyle hates his hair, but Eric is actually obsessed over it.

Kyle calls Eric "Eric" when they're alone but "Cartman" in public. He doesn't use many other pet names

Cartman uses a ton of pet names, and they're mostly obnoxious (Kyle love them)

Eric also loves PDA, whereas Kyle pretty much only likes hand holding and a kiss on the cheek in public

Kyle calling Eric "Cartman" is like your parent saying your full name for them

Cartman overexaggerating absolutely everything in their relationship

Eric is a Zodiac Girl

I suggest (later down the line):

Eric is learning how to make traditional Jewish meals, especially for holidays (like Hanukkah). He comes over one winter to celebrate with the Broflovskis. Makes a perfect Latke or whatever it's called.

Sheila isn't pleased to have him over. Kyle thinks it'll be a disaster.

Sheila is very hesitant to try the latkes. She is pleasantly shocked when it's wonderful

Also, Eric gets along with everyone in the Broflovskis family eventually.

He's a sweet and pleasant boy in front of Sheila. An absolute terror with Ike (they probably bond by gaming together), and he's worse when he and Gerald are trolling people online.

Kyle has no idea what or how Eric is getting along, but he's slightly suspicious of it, nonetheless

Eric and Sheila talk about Kyle's hair all the time.

"He's so handsome. I don't know why my little boy hides his curls."

"I know, Mrs. Broflovski. I keep telling him, but he's just so stubborn."

Everyone thinks that Eric's love language is physical touch (because of how he acts in public) it's actually acts of service

[ladyybuuggg]

Cartman would be the biggest Dance Moms fan and would have a secret editing account- he also def cried watching the dance moms reunion

[wednesdayfunnys]

ive been making chatbgt spit out kyman fanfic for hours and im DYING

ITS JUST GOT ME ROLLING ITS SO UNSERIOUS. heres a bunch of random scenes from a bunch of different outputs that fucking KILL ME to DEATH

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—

and my personal favorite, which i want literally CARVED ON MY GRAVESTONE

[iluvjesus666]

[dizzzyondreams]

main 4 doing the what makes you beautiful dance from just dance send post

[shhh-secret-time]

No, see, because, like, you fucked up. Now you have to write that. I need that. I need the Star Park AU.

Below I will present my case:

1) That name is so freaking cute and I love it

2) Your tags made me fall in love with it

3) I know you have more ideas in that beautiful brain of yours

4) I really want it.

Please see points 1 - 4 if you have any questions.

Aafjdjakak Dude?! I'm cackling!

Fuck it we ball. Please look forward to it I guess.

I'll throw more in the tags!

[boxwinebaddie]

bc i don't care about spoilers anymore, i want y'all to know that the climax of the south park portion of rm is at ike's winter formal where jersey is stuck wearing what sheila's brother or gerald wore to his prom in the eighties ( its giving downtown abbey, he looks like a founding father, help ) and is still mad as fuck at poor ravenstan, wolfing down punch ( he does not know is spiked, oof )

crimson dawn comes out, ravenstan is FITTED, bro like i put him in this badass emo boy red and black charro outfit because he's a legend with his red combat boots on and his eyeliner going crazy, ( ya i do think kenny and jimmy are in those 2007 scene shirts with the fake tie on them, marj looks like punk rock southern avril lavigne )

asks kyle to take him back, backflips into the splits says "HIT IT!" AND PROCEEDS TO DROP THE SICKEST BADDEST HARDEST POP GOES PUNK ROCK COVER OF STYLE BY TAYLOR SWIFT EVER.

[afterartist]

Just performed a 90 minute play with no script and only one rehearsal so I refuse to do anything productive

But I also got bored so I decided to doodle this lil dumb dumb vid to test out my SP character designs

Can u tell Kenny is my Fave

Also I gave him an Ace ring cause I think my headcannon that he’s a high Libido Asexual is hilarious (plz do not take this seriously-)

[kuchipark]

South Park Main Four Dancing HC’s below the cut

(Head Canons By Someone Who Can’t Dance For Shit)

[This was supposed to just be about dancing but I got a tad side tracked, so there is some bits about their music taste in there, too. Enjoy!! (ʃƪ ˘ ³˘)♡]

Main four + Butters bonus

Kenny McCormick:

- Unintentionally good.

- The way he dances is slightly feminine but not at all girly. (just smoother, more control over his hips, his limbs move in a satisfying, flowy way, less stiff, etc.)

- He takes the male role when slow dancing/waltzing/grinding, etc.(had to add the last one because he TOTALLY is the type to be shamelessly grinding on the dance floor) but with salsa dancing he sometimes likes to take the feminine role, just because he thinks it’s fucking hilarious.

- Finds a way to dance to any song. Like Peruvian pan flute music.

- Dances when he’s happy

- Confident Dancer

- Really satisfying to look at

- Isn’t aware that he’s good at dancing, because he doesn’t really think dancing is something you can be “good” or “bad” at, it’s just shaking your body in all directions and not giving a fuck about what anyone thinks

- Would never judge someone for how they dance

- “Twerks” (just throws his back back, and calls it twerking)

- Dances with friends to cheer them up (like in that one Harry Potter scene, where Harry dances with Hermione to cheer her up (fuck JK Rowling but that scene is adorable))

- Often dances with Karen, free and fun entertainment

- he still listens to CD’s/cassette tapes, because he can’t afford an Apple Music/Spotify/SoundCloud subscription and he had some old CD/cassette players laying around that he fixed up. Cartman rips on him for this, telling him to “get with the times”, but he doesn’t care.

- He doesn’t have spotify because he can’t skip songs, which is super annoying because he throws every song he likes into one big playlist. So when he’s listening to relaxing songs, he wants to be able to skip the heavy metal Slipknot song that comes on right after. He does have Soundcloud because there are less ads than Spotify, and he can skip songs, but he honestly prefers CDs and cassettes at this point.

- Drags people to the dance floor at parties

- Likes songs with dirty or doltish/childish lyrics

- Dabbles in some country

- Is 100% a juggalo

Stan Marsh:

- Stan dances like a mom;,.. Or a wine-drunk Randy

- At times Horribly offbeat

- Can’t tell if he got his moves from Randy or Sharon

- A bit of a stiff dancer

- Bad but in a charming way, that’s fun to look at

- Knows he sucks, but doesn’t care

- He has potential but he lacks a sense of rhythm and all his moves are at least 20 years old

- The confidence he oozes makes his uncool moves not seem awkward but more endearing

- Still does stuff like that one scuba dance move, or the thing with the peace signs over the eyes

- Loves playing Just Dance with Kenny. Kenny just does it as a stress reliever but Stan tryhards, determined to beat Kenny’s ass at least once.

- He and Kenny usually dance together at parties, leaving Kyle to look for Stan everywhere (because he never announces where he’s going, he just sees Kenny on the dance floor and beelines in his direction.

- When Stan & Kenny are REAAALLy drunk, the dancing gets weirdly sensual (like Stan holding Kenny’s hips from behind, or vise versa) just because they think it’s fucking hilarious. There isn’t any actual sexual tension, just friends goofing around. sometimes they accumulate a little (mostly female) audience when they do this. The girls wolf whistle and yell shit like “Yeah, baby! shake that! (Which—let’s face it—are usually Bebe/Red or Heather) Nichole and Wendy usually just stands there, amused, trying to suppress laughs, cheering them on.

- Sometimes, (If Stan & Wendy aren’t fighting/broken up) Wendy will tap Kenny’s shoulder and ask if she can steal his Date from him. Kenny very politely backs off, but not before giving Stan a big, sloppy kiss on the hand/cheek and mouthing stuff like “call me” (with the accompanied hand sign, ofc) while getting dragged off by Bebe.

- The one thing he is actually good at is slow dancing, he spent hours upon hours practicing with Kyle because he was scared he’d step on Wendy’s feet (and he had good reason, Kyle’s toes suffered more than one could count) He could’ve asked Kenny for help, but dancing like that in a serious way—not just fucking around—while sober was way too vulnerable (Plus, he would rather slow dance with Kyle).

- Stan begs Kyle to dance with him all the time but Kyle isn’t that big on dancing, at least not in public

- Stan also listens to CD’s and cassettes, but he likes it for the “aesthetic”. He and Kenny exchange CD’s and cassettes every few weeks so that they can listen to each others recommendations. Kenny likes literally almost any genre, so he almost always digs the music Stan picks for him. But Stan has a more particular music taste and has gotten back to Kenny with a “Dude, wtf was that” more than a few times. Kenny has gotten really good and guessing what Stan will, and won’t like, though. So that rarely ever happens anymore.

- Very passionate about music

- Metalhead (duhhh)

- Aggressively sings along to songs

Kyle Broflovski:

- Also aggressively sings along to songs (He can’t sing)

- Not good but not bad

- Also a bit stiff

- Usually just nods along to the music

- Doesn’t hate dancing but just doesn’t do it as often as Stan & Kenny

- Prefers dancing alone in his room, or with Stan rather than out in public

- Not a big fan of the dance floor, but after a drink or two he can be persuaded

- A good slow dancer, taught by Sheila… against his will

- Likes watching Kenny and Stan dance. Specifically Stan, something about the way he dances so confidently uncool and manages not to look awkward mesmerizes him. Kenny just moved like a flowy piece of fabric, anyone would find it satisfying to look at.

- While teaching Stan how to slow dance, Stan would sometimes twirl him (that’s not a part of slow dancing, but Stan just thinks it’s more fun that way) and he’d sometimes twirl Stan too, but he couldn’t do it more than twice in a row before Stan would get nauseous and almost throw up (either from the twirling or from something else? ;))

- Usually watches on the couch while Kenny and Stan play just dance, and usually getting successfully coaxed into playing with them for just oneeee song

- Likes the cure (END OF DISCUSSION, THIS IS NOT EVEN A HC, IT’S CANON)

- Likes rock and jazz

- When he does dance it’s usually kind of laid back (Unlike Stan and Kenny who throw their entire soul into it) Because he’s a but more conscious of all the eyes around them. But he can definitely let loose when you mix the right amount of booze… or when he’s tryharding Just Dance

- On the rare occasion that he can actually find them, he’ll cheer on Stan and Kenny, too

- Kyle usually gets the aux, Kenny used to get a chance but after he put on “No Cock Like Horse Cock” by Pepper Coyote for the third time, they made an unanimous decision to put him on timeout

- Still uses the same ipod he’s been using since 2013 to listen to music

Eric Cartman:

- Does not dance

- Refuses to dance

- He just stands there with his arms crossed, tapping his foot at most

- Except when lady gaga comes on, he’ll give a whole performance

- Most definitely dances when no one is watching

- Likes hiphop/pop

- Definitely thinks he can rap

- Blares along to every song

- Out of breath after the most minimal of dancemoves

- Gets his panties in a twist when Stan and Kenny “fag it up” at parties

(Bonus)Butters:

- Somehow even more off beat than Stan, in an awkward way

- Too shy to dance at first, but once he starts there is no holding him back

- Seriously, what the fuck is this guy doing?

- Flaps around his arms and calls it a dance move

- Really fun to dance with

- plays christmas music in July

- one word: Gangnam Style and Baby Shark

- Those are five words

- But seriously, never let this guy do the music, you’ll regret it immediately

All:

- I saw this in a fanfic once, but it’s perfect. They definitely all sing along to The Bad Touch by Bloodhound Gang. I will stand by this till I die!

That was it!! (for now), I spent waaaaay too long doing this and as you can probably tell I got lazy towards the end. (But tbh I didn’t rlly have any ideas for Cartman/Kyle, like I feel like they could go a lot of ways.)

I hope it wasn’t too long,, or too short. Let me know some of your HC’s if you feel like it, I love reading them!

Is anyone gonna read this ya think?

[3eyezmug]

ITS GANNA BE BIIIG ANNNNDD LOUDD!!!!!!!!

[ladyybuuggg]

Cartman quoting Abby Lee Miller’s “you’re skinny, you’re blonde, you’re pretty; you’re telling me no one at schools hates you.. WAKE UP” speech At Marj

Poor baby was definitely like “yeah everyone in my class is really nice :)” AND HE HIT HER WITH THAT SHIT

[er1c-c4rtman]

kemny with long legs lol

[cheesy-poofs]

This scene kills me.