#CANT JUST LEAVE ME TO BLEED!!!
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zerostyrant · 6 months ago
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YOU
Heathers au but Inna is Veronica and Toki is JD
i love you.
yes absolutely i need to animate/pmv meant to be yours now
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dayurno · 5 months ago
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who has the worst kevin complex among the aftg men.
riko is patient number 0 we have to hand it to him every time. i hate you i love you you're my other half you're a pet you're a footstool i'm jealous of you i need you i made an altar for you out of our old room i'm going to force you to see me live out our dreams you will never ever ever ever be able to leave me the people who tried to take you from me will suffer :)
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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I feel like I'm losing my mind. Like this has to be a thing right? It's a thing I experience at least. Please please please tell me abt ur experience if u do 🙏
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orcelito · 2 months ago
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I am So Good at this game
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Defeated one of the champions (recommended level 30 to fight them) at only level 14. Fuck yeah.
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f4y3w00d5 · 2 months ago
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chat JD is so vibey
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yaoianimeremade · 11 months ago
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Soon im rly gonna do it
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#🕸️#sui mention#< in the tags tho cuz it feels nicer to talk abt this in tags than in the post itself cuz to me posts are like talking normally but tags are#like whispering? talking you can tune out if you want but whispering is rather more voluntary to say it doesnt matter however#every single year passes and i wish i didnt live in each and every one of them i feel disconnected dissatisfied empty disappointed every day#it can be a small part of a day or a bigger but its still there clenching onto me like and never letting go im tired of it theres always a#wall between me and otyer ppl im unsure if i put it there or was it put there by other ppl but its there and even if anyone tries to reach#into it do i understand how even if close are we really far away it makes me understand just how much of an abnormality i am and how much i#cant ever be like them no matter how much i try and climb and crawl until i bleed its exhausting its maddening#almost everything i do is shaped by spite i wear one bracelet for years out of spite i dont smoke out of spite i dont shave my hands not#only because im normal abt body hair but also out of spite the more i know ppl the spiteful i get only way for me to truly like someone is#to keep them at a lenght outside that wall if they get in then theres only two choices for them to dislike me or even hate my entire being#or me to shove them back out without ever letting them get in#coworkers say im a nice kind person but im not its all just a facade to make my life easier and to suit myself im hateful but i dont believe#its entirely my fault after all they will to my face make fun of. laugh at. and hate everything of me they would see in other ppl that dont#hide it deep within like i do and then it rly hits me how different abnormal foul disgusting and unnatural i am#im hit with his every talk that goes on too long every word that keeps going every touch every expression every comment made on my behalf#its exhausting to live this way i fear im near my limit i havent reached it but who knows when i will#i sometimes dream of doing it and leaving behind a note wishing nothing but painful suffering to everyone i ever knew irl but i dont want to#do that to my best friends and my dog but who knows how long its left before the thread breaks#thats all like comment and subscribe if you personally would do me a favor by taking me out back and shooting me
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sukugo · 2 years ago
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do you have a favorite headcanon, from yourself or that you picked up from someone else, of either knives or vash
hmmm don't think i could say i have a favourite, bc there's so much good stuff (plus im relatively new to them and still Exploring the kv world so haven't had as much time to establish them), BUT there is one thing that im really so so so very into and it's the idea of knives and vash only being capable of having sex with each other
i already mentioned it in this post, which pretty much says most of it really
but yeah i LOVE the idea of their bodies being incompatible with human bodies and rejecting them (in the case of flower genitalia, a closed bud that never blooms and opens, and in the case of a more regular genitalia situation, an unresponsive dick/hole, no erection, no lubrication, no gape. just the tightness of an unwiling opening. just the burn of desperate need against skin rubbed raw)
and along with the lack of bodily response, we have touches and gropes being discomforting, grating, painful at times, and always feeling so, so wrong, like their entire body is on edge, wrongness crawling all over their skin.
it's not that glaring of an issue for nai, who would not have sex with humans (more accurately: anyone who's not vash). but in vash's case, who lives among humans, i'd find it definitely is.
although, the thing is, their bodies dont even work for themselves. not being able to have sex is one thing, but they can't masturbate either, bc their bodies need the other's to react, they don't respond to their own prods and touches and pleas. no amount of personal desire can make their bodies react, not unless the other is there. (which would negate the above comment: it is an issue for nai too, who can't properly physically manifest his desire for vash) (i dont think a nai sexually repressed for 150 yrs could lead to good things...)
and well, it's all bc essentially, they are one. two halves of a whole, made from each other and needing each other to complete each other. they exist as one and no matter how much time they spend apart, how much they clash, the truth of the fact is carved into the makeup of their bodies.
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priyal-d123 · 1 year ago
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Why would you?
Why? Why would you do this to me?
Why, when you said that you loved me too,
Did you kill that love so brutally
Why? Why would you do this to me?
When I had given you everything I had
Why then would you treat me like trash just tossed away carelessly
Why? Why would you do this to me?
When you could've stayed
The love of my life, the person in all my dreams,
Why then is this the person you chose to be
Why? Why would you do this to me?
Why would you be so cruel as to say
It's my fault for getting hurt by loving you one sidedly
Why? Why would you do this to me?
Why would you show me everything I could ever have hoped for
Just to snatch it away suddenly
Why? Why would you do this to me?
When you said you couldn't see life without me
Why then would you walk away so easily
Why? Why would you do this to me?
Why would you go ahead and stomp all over my heart?
I wonder,
Did that set you free?
**original poem**
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qumiiiquinnquin · 1 year ago
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my art will never be good enough !
#vent#im so hypocritical#i give advice on how to not feel terrible about ones own art and then i want to burn all my traditional art and delete all my art files#i cant even follow my own advice. ive wanted to burn and delete my art for several years now and i am very close to doing it#its so hard to not compare myself to others. its so hard to not think that what I make isn't good enough. everyone else can make so#much more beloved art. and they all know that ill never amount to anything no matter how much time ans effort i put jnto an art#it will never be good enough. I will never be good enough.#since I cant stop why dont I just post art then bounce and not scroll afterwards? ive done that multiple times now#but it feels very isolating and lonely. So I can deactivate and leave social media for good so I stop always comparing numbers#but it bleeds into real life. i actually felt this terrible about my art before creating any social media and posting my art in 2020.#i just know that nowhere am i good enough.#I hate that i think these things and am acting like this. I need to quit and discard everything giving up would benefit everyone#in fact why dont i go commit sewercide and officially rid myself since i cant think anything without wanting to commit over it lol#everyone says take a break but i will just come back feeling fine then it will quickly evolve into feeling this exact same way again.#'take a break' I might as well fucking quit for good like I want#making art makes me happy and helps keep me going. but at this point im not happy doing art anymore so I have nothing keeping me from#giving up on being alive anymnore
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theyaoiparable · 2 years ago
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dawg.
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dayurno · 5 months ago
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has anyone made the kevriko meant to be yours amv yet
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love-will-remember1214 · 10 months ago
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Then how long must i wait for it to stop? How long until...
Until it doesn't have to hurt anymore..
Until I can wake up and not be reminded of you
Until I can be excited by my favourite things again
Until I can smile and not feel guilty about wanting to forget you
Until I can breathe without it rattling the pieces of my heart
Until I can go through the day without breaking down
Until I can go to the places we used to.. and not let it affect me
Until I'm brave enough to erase all the reminders I have of you
Until.. I'm brave enough to let go of you..
How long until I can finally allow myself to stop loving you?
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yikes-ajax-thats-sad · 17 days ago
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Oh yeah sorry I forgot I was only here for you to USE ME I'll shut the fuck up
#maybe ill stfu forever#im in such a bad mindset rn and im being hella inconsiderate and im definitely splitting but y'know. for all the stress nosebleeds ive had-#-(8 at this point hooray!) itd be nice to see someone spill some blood for ME#warring with the logical side and the side that says EVERYONE USES THE SAME FUCKING EXCUSES BUT IF I MAKE THEM IM A BITCH#why the fuck should I show mercy when its never even been considered to be given to me?#why should i tolerate such BULLSHIT? I fight through hell and still make sure the people important to me are cared for#ive answered to phone seconds after dry heaving and rubbed of the tears when someone needs me and got up to BE THERE even when i felt bad#and not a single motherfucker can do that for me in return#its so fucking selfish but id rather run off and go live in a hill all alone than do this shit. theres no way its on purpose but holy fuck-#-does it feel like everyone uses my attatchments against me like they just KNOW I'd die before leaving#oh my god i miss him. he wouldnt do this to me. he would. he wouldn't#i did everything to make it work. let him do whatever he wanted. i do so much for everyone just like him and every time im left#like a dog thats been dumped when it started getting sick and the owners couldn't pat the vet bills#its not my fault theres a vermin in my brain. i didnt want it there i swear#ive tried to get it out but when i do i bleed all over you and you get mad. i try to get better but you dont like the process#nobody will stick around through the storm to see what comes after so whats the point when theres nothing to live for in the end?#idc what they say humans are social creatures we NEED others with us. before great big civilization being alone = death#we NEED people to care. we NEED someone to watch our back. its how humanity got this far#and by god i try my best to carry everyones weight but theres nobody here to carry mine#which is a fucking lie because there is. my mama is so great but its so ingrained now. opening up = punishment. i know she'd never hurt me#but the idea of being vulnerable is nauseating#i just wanna go to sleep for once feeling knowing and truly believing someone has my back. that someone will be here in the morning#but nobody would do that for me and i would never dare ask. i know im a heavier person than most. i cant expect anyone to carry me
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fishymedic · 1 month ago
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He doesn't handle losing patients/not being able to save or help others very well :)
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apollo-zero-one · 1 year ago
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Too old to be a kid too young to be an adult just the right age to cry myself to sleep
#every day I want to give up and go back to my mom's house and apologize for leaving#I'm still powerless here but this is unfamiliar. at least I knew what to expect there#I still had people to avoid and I still didn't want to leave my room but at least I knew I wouldn't be kicked out if I broke a rule#I'm so scared and so sad and I feel so small and so alone#all I want is a home that is mine that I can feel safe and secure in that I can retreat to that I can have power in#All I want is the safety ans security to take a break and to take care of myself#I want to be able to focus on my health for a little while my mental health is so so bad and my stupid brain has realized that I only get#help when it's visible so whenever my mental health gets bad like this I have these constant terrible urges to tear myself apart#The ideas are so vivid and so constant I want to tear my skin to ribbons and break all of my bones and gouge my eyes out and bite my tongue#I want to claw up my face and bite off my fingers and snap each of my ribs#I get phantom aches all over and my body is so tense and wound up and my heart beats so hard for hours and hours#I want to slam my head into a brick wall until something cracks and I hate myself I hate myself for this I hate myself for my selfishness#and for my weakness and for my existence and I want to vomit up my guts and I want my suffering to be real and treatable#I want someone to save me from myself. I want the pain to go away. But there isnt pain is there because its all in my head#I'm doing this to myself just like I have my entire goddamn life. My mom says I was born in pain and cried nonstop for a whole year. Then I#grew out of it and I was perfect. except no I wasn't because I wrote big long notes in phonetic spirals about how I deserve to die.#isn't that a sign?? Isnt that a sign?? i was born this way and things will never get any better they will only change and change and change#and still hurt in ways that I cant prove that I will second guess because maybe they aren't real and I'm just stupid useless helpless weak#when I bleed I can ask someone for a bandaid. when I... exist like this. I can't ask for anything. What helps? What helps? nothing really.#being useless helps until it doesn't. I have to work to pay for the chemicals that barely help. Why do innocent people die every day and not#me. when I pray for it. When I beg. And I'm not afraid to walk alone at night because NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS TO ME. Because I'm so lucky.#Soooo lucky. it isnt fair. She deserves it more than me. who? pick. anyone. Someone who wants it. Maybe who I could have been if I were#better. Not me. I dont get hurt. I dont get lost. I dont die. Maybe I cant maybe I never will. I'm more afraid of having to live like this.#My life is always on the line of not quite not quite and I never need help and I always need help and I'm never enough and I'm average.#the standard. the center. Above me dont need and below me do and I? What do I? both. neither. I shouldn't exist. It hurts to exist like this#in between. I should be able to do this myself. I'm the worst player on the best team and the best player on the worst and I don't fit in#either and everyone hates me for being one or the other and I can never be better so I want to be worse and thats my whole life in one#sentiment. I'm always at the bar and I can never get over it. I've been begging forever please lower your expectations I cant do better than#this. so I'll do worse. I'll make myself worse. I deserve it anyway. I'll be more scars than skin and more pain than person and then maybe#I'll belong somewhere god fucking knows even if its a padded room I could belong somewhere.
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flamestar126 · 1 year ago
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Dentist/teeth venting lol
#turns out i have inflamed gums and the cleaning hurts like a bitch#the dentists are always so rough stabs and leaves me bleeding near the end#told the liquid to clean my mouth was gross then proceed to lift my chair without warning me i ended up swallowing some out of surprise#did x rays and they dig into my gums so bad i literally could taste blood during#“you need to floss more” i dont know how to care of braces! the first day of getting them you guys said ok and sent me off without any info#google doesnt tell you shit as a 17 y/o then questioning me using terms ive never heard of before im not a dentist im confused dumbass ;A;;#they dropped my wire theyre supposed to put back in my mouth and couldnt find it i saw it drop under the counter and struggled to pick it u#also struggled to put a new wire on and spent over 10 min trying to put back my rubber bands#i cant open my mouth bigger than that! my mouth is small im a tiny person please stop stabbing me with those sharp tools every 5 seconds#guess who just found that tiny lost broken wire in mouth as im writing this#when they cut my wire to fit in my mouth they lost them of both sides in my mouth and i could only found one until now#gave me mismatched color bands so i have black and red im not going to open my mouth until i go back loll#took 10 min to put my bands back and struggled so hard they were pacing back n forth and cursing shit motherfuck fuck damn instead 1 min#that part was amusing no matter how long it took them they kept asking if i was okay when i felt like i should be asking them that#my venting is out of order but the first dentist was so apologetic and kind joking with me and trying to calm down when I wasn't nervous#i couldn't stop smiling at their clumsiness but 2nd dentist was rough and wanted to speedrun me it hurt#ive been there for two hours i dont care if youre slow i just want it carefully#left there shaking and bleeding#not my worst experience ngl but doesnt make me feel less shitty#the place i go do not care about me for the almost past 2 years ive been there#my anger left im just being whiny now#flame vents#dentist
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