#CALLED DIBS IM DRINKING IT

[godzexperiment]

fallen! angel nix menacing his maker is actually -chefs kiss- like 'i might be stuck listening to your nonsense but you're stuck knowing you made me and being painfully aware of my chaos'

[carajilloplz]

Omg can u write a fic abt Art Donaldson and Patrick trying to hit on foreign exchange student!reader, could end in fluff or smut

no bc this is literally my fantasy i’m an international student at a D1 tennis school IM GONNA GO FERAL. loosely based off of my experience with the cornell men’s tennis team but we’re not talking about that.

warnings: SMUT 18+ MDNI, patrick x international student!tennis player!reader, this might be bad i wrote this over the course of like 3 days and changed the plot completely lol, smoking and drinking, oral!male and female receiving, facesitting, technically cheating? vague but everything is morally dubious with these three, unprotected p in v, hair pulling

uh enjoy ig i hope it's not too bad

Tashi? You’d known her since forever. You attended the same tennis camp when you were girls and never lost contact. Having played a few matches during Juniors, you stayed pretty close. So when you saw her on your match schedule for the upcoming month, you shot her a text saying you had to go out together when you were at Stanford for the weekend.

Your match rolled around and you were definitely focused. Winning meant you stayed at the top of your conference, which wasn’t the ATP ranking but it was still important to you. So you trained, and hard. You were a good player, quick on your feet, and the training paid off in your first doubles game that weekend. Before your game, you got to catch a wave and a smile from Tashi sitting in the stands, next to a mousy-looking blonde guy and a very cocky brunette. You noted that the brunette was more your type, but the blonde was cute enough. Must have been Tashi’s friends.

You started your match, extremely harmonious with your partner, and you swiftly caught every ball headed your way. From the stands, Art and Patrick were shamelessly throwing around comments as they saw the ball bounce back and forth.

 “She has an insane serve. I heard she’s like a tennis prodigy in her country.” Art gushes, getting cut off by Patrick quickly with “I don’t know how you’re paying attention to her serve when she has such nice legs. I’d like to have those wrapped around my head soon.” 

Winning the game 4-6, you were happy with the result. 

You watched Tashi play her doubles match, flawlessly annihilating your teammates. When the time came for yours and Tashi’s match, you felt the playfully challenging energy in the air. Patrick and Art were at the edge of their seats, and as the game started they both were practically drooling at the match. They couldn’t decide whether to look at you, or Tashi, or the ball. Both you and Tashi were smoothly tearing each other to shreds, grunting and running around, you always catching the ball just in time. 

“I don’t know how she’s doing it but I think she’s going to beat Tashi” Art mumbles, slumped into his seat as he switched his focus from the ball, to the way you moved, to your figure.

“I call dibs” replies Patrick. He was staring at you too, staring intently and admiring the way your arm smoothly hit the ball with a thwack in a way that threw Tashi off. 

“Don’t do that to Tashi.” mumbled Art again, playfully hitting the brunette next to him. He didn’t even take his eyes off of you. He knew too damn well that Patrick could not care less, and didn’t know whether to feel for you or Tashi. Pat and Tashi had been having a rough time anyways, so it was really a matter of time before either of them caved.

Finishing the match, you and Tashi gave each other a friendly hug. You noticed that the two boys that had been sitting with Tashi were rushing down to congratulate the two of them. 

“Great game, babe.” The brunette said, giving Tashi a small peck. You noticed that she didn’t really appreciate the gesture. The boy turned to you, “And this is?”

Tashi introduced you, explaining that you went to tennis camp together, the whole history. “And these two idiots are Art and Patrick.”

“Nice to meet you too, you guys play tennis?” you ask, intrigued but it was kind of obvious.

Art answers before Patrick can open his mouth— “Yeah, I play here at Stanford too, I’m just injured right now,” he says, pointing to his shoulder, which had muscle tape peeking from the sleeve of his shirt. “Pat’s just… there.”

“Hey! I play too, dipshit. I’m playing the Miami Open in a few weeks.”

Tashi was done with her games of the day, and said she’d be taking a short break. “I’m going to take a shower and heading to bars later, want to come?” She asks.”You can come and get ready in my dorm with me.” You nod in approval, following them as you headed to the locker rooms. Patrick and Tashi were walking together as he was clearly rambling about something that she was unfazed by. 

“So they’re a thing huh?” you ask Art, who was walking next to you.

“Yeah I mean, he comes to visit every once in a while but I don’t think that they’ve quite put a label on it yet.” He answers quite honestly, “She’s a very focused person.”

“I know, that’s why it was strange to me that she was with somebody.”

Art nodded in understanding, “I know, I say the same thing and they’re surprisingly sticking it out.”

“Honestly I don’t know how she does it.” you admit. The few times you had been involved with someone it went to shit because of your schedule.

“What do you mean? I thought Tashi said you were dating someone.” Art asks, furrowing his brow.

“Oh no, I broke up with him forever ago, he was on my team before he had to stop playing because of an injury. He’s a full-on NARP now and that really got in the way.” You scoff slightly, laughing to yourself and shaking your head. “Doesn’t seem strange to me that Tash wouldn’t check my Facebook, I’ve deleted all my posts with him since.”

“Yeah she’s like that,” muses Art. “Lives in her own world and we’re all moons revolving around it.”

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

After changing in the locker rooms and staying to watch the rest of the singles games, you headed to your hotel to freshen up a little to head to Tashi’s and get ready. 

Walking over to the dorm, you run into Patrick, already wearing what you assumed to be his bar clothes — some jeans, nikes, and a gray shirt that says ‘I told ya’. 

“Hey Patrick, you heading to Tashi’s?” you say amicably, trying to strike conversation with your friend’s…? You don’t know what he was.

“Yeah, you?” he asks, pulling out a carton of cigarettes and lighting one. Pat sends the pack your way as an offering “Want one?”

“Yes please, and yeah, I’m getting ready at Tashi’s for tonight. She’d said we would go to bars?”

Patrick goes to light your cigarette and you two continue your walk towards the dorm. “I think you look gorgeous just like that, but to each their own.”

You roll your eyes and fill the rest of the walk with small talk, which to your relief was a relatively short walk so it didn’t get too awkward. As you headed into the elevator, you went to press the button and couldn’t remember what floor Tashi had mentioned. “On what floor does she live?” You ask, as the elevator comes to a close. You could feel his eyes on you. Looking back at him, you catch him staring and give him a questioning look. 

“Patrick?”

“6th floor”

A moment of silence passes between you two. He, of course, breaks it. “Your accent is cute. I don’t know, it fits you.” Patrick is very clearly snaking his eyes up and down your figure, and you didn’t know whether you wanted to stop yourself. “You’re not from around here are y-”

“I don’t know what you’re playing at, Patrick, but you’re with my friend and that is not something I want to intrude in.” You snap. It felt a little mean but it’s not something you’d want to do to Tashi. 

He snorts, laughing to himself and furrowing his brow, “I’m not with Tashi, if you haven’t noticed. She barely gives me the time of day unless she wants me to fuck her.”

You’re surprised at his statement, a little less so at his crass choice of words, but you realized that that’s the kind of person he was. Extremely conflicted with how to react, you noticed the lustful look in his eye and the little bite he gave the inside of his cheek. You couldn’t. You turned away and looked at the numbers of the floors go up excruciatingly slow. Pat hesitated, but at this point he had nothing to lose. 

“If it raises the chances of you being interested in me, then no. For all intents and purposes I am not with Tashi.”

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Later that night, at some dingy college bar, both Patrick and Art were inquisitively leaning towards you and Tashi. You'd all had your fair share of drinks and there was something in the air, you didn't know what it was but it made you feel magnetic, especically towards Art and Patrick. You liked Art and everything, but you couldn’t help but notice how he would always be catching a look at Tash and sweeping in to mediate when she and Pat would begin a harmless spat. Patrick, on the other hand, had very much caught your eye. Something about him made you curious, maybe it was his nonchalance and light cockiness towards everything. But from your previous conversation, you now knew that he was clearly intrigued by you, leaning his head to the side like a confused puppy as he listened to you explain that you were an international student.

“Oh so you’re far far from home” He comments, “And you’re not from the US?”

“Don’t act too surprised Pat, a lot of international students come to US universities to play tennis.” you reply, “And yes, I’m pretty far from home”

He nods in understanding. “That’s cool, honestly. I’d love to visit and see what your country’s like.”

You smile back, looking up at him through half-lidded eyes and the liquid confidence taking over, “You can come anytime.”

Eventually, you and Patrick keep up the conversation, drinks flowing, and notice that Art and Tashi had disappeared, God knows where.

“Did they really leave us here?” Patrick asks, bewildered when he noticed that Art and Tashi were nowhere to be seen. You shrugged. “I mean, I don’t mind it to be honest. I had to head to my hotel so I would have been going back alone anyways.”

“I can’t let you do that, that’s dangerous.” Patrick said, quickly inserting himself as the hero of the situation. “I’ll take you to your hotel. Where are you staying?”

“Oh just at a Holiday Inn down the street.”

“No way! I’m staying in that one too,” he says. “C’mon I’ll walk you back.”

You don’t know if it was the drinks or the tension you still had from today’s game but somehow, you ended up making out with Patrick in the elevator on your way up to your room. Patrick’s lips clashed against yours, bringing you closely into his embrace as you two killed the time before getting to your room. You separated the kiss for a moment, looking Pat dead in the eye.

“Not a word to Tashi about this.”

“No worries baby, she wouldn’t even care. She’s probably busy doing Art right now. She prefers him.” he admits, shrugging unconcerned and leaning back in to kiss you.

Luckily, your room was one of the first ones accessible as you got out of the elevator, so you reached into your pocket as you both stumbled towards the door. You fumbled with the key for a moment as Pat left some kisses on your throat, lost in you and your every move.

Finally being able to open the door, you two connected in a kiss once more and clumsily moved towards the bed, clothes coming off sloppily. Bumping against the end of the bed, you and Patrick fall onto the soft and fluffy duvet, heavenly on your tired muscles, heightening the pleasurable sensations of Pat’s lips on yours. 

His kisses were desperate, frantic, rushed, matching all the possible descriptive words for the way he was reaching at all of the grippable parts of you as he sloppily kissed you, teeth clashing. He was panting, and you were also desperately clawing at his t-shirt, moving your tongue against his and travelling your hands back into his hair. There was something about how the two of you just melded together, maybe fuelled by the underlying guilt of what you were doing, but also the insatiable need to blow off some fuckin’ steam.

You could feel how he was starting to grow hard in his jeans, starting to kiss your jaw and neck.

“Let me get on top, Patrick” you gasp, out of breath, pulling him back into the kiss and rolling over so you’re straddling him. He’s reaching up to you, grabbing your ass as you wrap your arms around his neck in order to keep him close. You start rolling your hips, bringing yourself to hit that sweet spot, easily accessible through under your skirt, and moaning into his mouth at the feeling. Gripping the edges of his shirt, he follows your lead of taking it off as you remove your top as well. For a moment he stops, slowly leaning back into his elbows, taking the sight of you squirming on top of him.

“Suck my dick.” He says, something so gluttonous yet pleading in his eyes. “Please.”

You look down at him, licking your bottom lip at the mere though of hearing his moans with your mouth on him. Nodding, slowly, you start kissing at his body, making your way down and occasionally looking back up at him. He’s got his head thrown back taking in the tenderness of your touch. You get to his jeans, tented up by his hard cock and start unbuckling his belt. Making your way through his layers, you reach into his jeans and start palming him, feeling how hard you had made him feel. You hear him moan shamelessly at this, saying your name and encouraging you to continue. 

He starts pulling his jeans and underwear down, barely enough for you to be able to access his cock, which you grab in your hand and spit on, beginning to pleasure him. His moans are loud as you continue, licking his tip and sending him into a spiral, moaning a load of curses and your name. As you keep going, he starts tangling his hands in your hair and trying his best to get it out of your face. 

“God, baby you look so good like that sucking my cock, fuck.” He groans, throwing his head back. You look up at him, and his blissed out expression just fuels you even more, his stomach muscles contracting and his eyes scrunching closed giving you more of a reason to keep bobbing your head up and down on his cock. You gag around him, your mouth already salivating and sloppy, and you went up to take a breath.

“Want to return the favor, Pat?” you ask, looking up at him through half-lidded, pleading eyes while you kept languidly stroking his cock. He took a single look at you and nodded. 

“Yeah, of course baby,” he says as you sit up. “C’mon, get on me.”

You furrow your brow— “You want me to sit on your face?” You reply with a smirk, climbing up his body

He smirks back, “How else would I return the favor?” Pat leans in to give you one, long hard kiss, the taste of himself in your mouth making his dick twitch. “Can’t wait to taste ya, babe”

You giggle, straddling him as he moves backwards a little in order to reach under you. At the first contact his lips have with your throbbing pussy, you let out a surprised moan and you grip his hair. He grabs your hips, a strong grip pulling you down towards him and making you have to find support against the headboard. 

“Fuck, Patrick that feels so good.” You moan, throwing your head back and leaning into his grip. You didn’t care if he suffocated right now, at this point what was of utmost importance was the pressure in your stomach building as he continued to run his tongue along your folds, taking his time to kiss at your sensitive clit. He really did know what he was doing. 

“Patrick please, shit you’re gonna make me come.” He doesn’t budge, just pulls you closer and nods his head against you, speeding up his movements and making you a moaning mess, gripping at his hair and rocking your hips against his mouth to keep that momentum and buildup in your belly. Patrick clearly senses this, moving his tongue faster and more intensely.

“Cum, baby” you feel him mumble. Immediately at his words, you feel yourself snap and a rush of energy archs your back and makes you gush all over his face. He comes up, making you straddle him, and he smiles at you with his mouth still glistening with your release, looking voraciouslt at you. 

“You have no idea what you do to me.”

Patrick brings you into a passionate kiss, once again sloppily coming together with him manouvering himself to be on top of you. All of your clothes had come off at some point, all of the contact had been so frantic, truly taking your mind off of everything else as you felt him on you. He was rock hard, still aroused from your blowjob, and he started nudging the tip of his cock on your entrance. You come back to your senses, pushing him away for a moment and giving him a look, which he quickly realized what it meant.

“Fuck I— I’ll just buy you a pill tomorrow.”

This was enough for you to give him a nod and make him start sliding inside you, letting out a heavy groan as he bottomed out. You let out a tense moan, grabbing at the bedsheets next to your head, and bringing your arms around his back as he began his thrusts, breathing hard into your neck, kissing it erratically between moans. 

“You’re so tight, oh my God” He groans, picking up his pace, making you a moaning mess and pulling him closer to you. He was hitting a spot inside you that was bringing your orgasm back, the pressure in your belly building again as he roughly grabbed your hips. Patrick brought his lips back to yours, sloppily kissing you with tongue to shut your high-pitched whines up. “Don’t be too loud baby, your neighbors are going to complain.”

A solution clearly comes into his mind as he sits back and turns you around to be on all fours, the sudden force on you making you yelp as he pushed you down against the pillow. He teases his cockhead against your folds, then reaches down to speak wantonly into your ear. “Now you can be as loud as you want baby.”

At that, you melt in his touch and let out a long, languid moan at the feeling of him slipping into your cunt, sopping with your arousal and absorbing his hard thrusts. You scream into the pillow as the pressure in your core keeps building and his thrusts hit the right spot that send you into a delirium. Patrick is a moaning mess behind you, the obscene combination of sounds, skin against skin and pleasurable moans making him even more aroused. He’s harsh, pulling your hips to match his pace and you feel him reach up and pull your hair back, revealing your fucked out face to him. “Make me cum again, please Patrick.” you groan, rolling your eyes backwards in pleasure as he speeds up his thrusts, bringing you closer to your orgasm. 

“Fuck, I’m going to come baby—” he moans, his thrusts made more erratic at the sensation of your cunt around him. You begin to feel yourself let go as he thrusts sloppily one, two, three more times and pulls out of you, coming all over your back.  You collapse under him, and he kneels back to admire your gorgeous ass painted by his work. “Patrick, you better not tell Tashi about this.” He hears, mumbled tiredly from under your messed up hair. Shaking his head and rolling his eyes (because really, you were thinking about that now?), he gets off the bed, walking into your bathroom to grab a towel for your spent, cum-stained body.

a/n: hope u enjoyed ig !! took me forever lol but if you liked this would like to request some ideas you are more than welcome to !!

[satirn]

if Jimmy and Timmy get married, how would the wedding go? Who proposes to the other? how does the proposal go?

this is the best ask ever i forgot how much i love schmaltz <3<3. heres some quick doodles as a bonus <3

as for the wedding and events proceeding, i think its go well! they deserve a little break from the stuff in their life, as a treat /q. Unless something like the syndicate crashes their party (i.. dont think theyd be that evil to do that tbh, i havent really dabbled w them story wise but idk, its a wedding im sure they'd be civil for once..) or some interuniversal threat pops up that needs their immediate action (something like garnet's wedding from su). which tbh would probably inhance the expirence for timmy, hes a straight menace and thinks stuff like that is awesome </3. but anyways

in general relationship stuff timmy may be the more forward one but i think jimmy would be the one to establish the milestones, plus that hes more traditional in my characterization of him. that being said, timmy would totally unintentionally propose or joke about marrying him and jimmy would 100% take him up on that with no hesitation.

now onto wedding stuff bc damn do i have a soft spot for this kinda stuff <3<3

the flowers i chose are forget-me-nots and pink / peachy orange aster flowers with a touch of roses in those same colors as well. i implore you to look up the flower meanings i had fun w em <3

I chose the color peach/a coral (is that what that color is ??) for the wedding because its a combo of timmy's pink and jimmy's redish orange (vermillion ?). i just think combining their colors when it comes to ships is just so so CUTE <3<3<3. this is also why that jimmytimmy painting i did a while back has primarily those colors <3. it didn't fit the theme but timmy wanted them so he gets a green, hot magenta pink, and purple flowers for his suit so his only family that loves him can be there.

this is uhh kinda angst implied but it wouldn't be something i made without a bit of angst <3. timmy's biological family would not be there, his mother would probably call once she heard that he got married but timmy decided to abandon that life and those people for good, and for the better tbh. the rest of the nicktoons unite crew would be there + maybe their plus one ig, but dib instead of zim, or maybe them both (zim wants to look normal so attends these events where its expected u show up yk, and dib follows bc clearly. hehe). cindy would probably arrive and agree to being a bridesmaid to show she isnt homophobic but would probably cry and/or drink in a corner the whole time </3, losing both of her boyfriend prospects at once /j

when they toss the bouquet danny is the one who catches it.. he looks over to manny and they share a flustered look while everyone else cheers <3

this is how id imagine it to go at least, there might be more sketches of this in the future i just gotta clean em up first </3. aaah this post is so long </3. told u i loved this kinda stuff SHHSHUSH !! <3<3<3

[unsustainableeuphoria]

i don’t drink often, but i want you to continue topping off my drink so i don’t realize how much ive had. then once im barely coherent i want you to absolutely ruin me. maybe pass me around your friends/the bar?

Fuuuuck I'd love to get a bunch of guys together for this exact purpose, just to barhop until we found a girl who'd let us buy her a drink and then watch her slowly sip and slip further into a drunken mess while we make sure her glass never seems to get any emptier, refilling it while we all laugh and make casual, fun conversation. One of us gets up to go buy you a chaser, a coke or some juice, and returns with a mixed drink so you're downing twice as much as you realize with every chase.

And once you're well and truly gone, with that big dumb grin plastered over your plastered face, you'll pay us back for all the drinks by taking turns riding our cocks, getting used in whichever way we feel like; for some of us you're a toy, we don't even stop our conversation while we lay you out on the table and fuck you senseless, others make a game out of who can make you cum the most times, and every few minutes someone else calls dibs fucking you next.

After a few hours, after everyone's had a turn and some are starting on round 2, it's clear you're sobering up; the booze is working it's way out of your system and you look up at the next person in line with a confused look that says 'who are you and what am I doing here'. Luckily drinks are always on hand, and it's not long before I press a glass against your lips with a firm insistence, knowing you're still drunk enough to take whatever I put in your mouth without thinking first, and soon you're back to getting fucked and the party continues on.

(This is the first time I've ever gotten an ask TYSM anon!)

[deer-milkshake-999]

Do you have any headcanons about Guitarvoig stuff? I'm curious :3

(and if you have any Spacevoig headcanons, I'd love to hear those as well!)

Thanks for the ask! This is my first ask about my selfships so im kinda nervous

Guitarvoig:

Literally lovebirds. Anavoig spends much of her afternoon combing or picking dead feathers from his wings. Sometimes she even puts some in her hair, but he insists that she take it out before others see.

When Anavoig gains wings too, Adam feels a little embarrassed. He can't really help her with her wings, but he tries.

Typical idiotic teenage couple. They will laugh at EVERYTHING, even in the most serious meetings. Sera calls Anavoig's attention, but ignores Adam.

When Anavoig is trying to sleep, He nudges her, "Don't fall asleep yet, that's the best part!" About 10 times while telling a story. Usually, Anavoig just covers his mouth in annoyance.

"Excuse me, she fuckin asked for no pickles!"

Thinks he's in charge, but when she raises her voice at him he just nods like a puppy.

Sometimes he curses her out of habit, and she just slaps him on the back of the head.

He's the type to embarrass her in front of people.

"those fuckin sinners, they---- Not you though, babe..." He tries to explain himself.

Anavoig gets out of bed to drink water at night, and when she comes back:

"Why did you leave me."

Anavoig asks a lot about his time in Eden, and can sometimes seem insensitive.

Adam puffs out his chest and spreads his wings proudly every time she compliments him.

Adam finds her obsession with animals cute, and talks about what it was like to name each one.

Anavoig finds her demonic full form weird, but Adam thinks it's badass.

SpaceVoig:

Well, Anavoig is a scientist fascinated by Zim. She pretends to be on his side, even though she knows that that pathetic worm is no threat at all. Zim thinks he is in control of that ridiculous human, but it turns out that after he develops a slight affection, he starts to turn against her, thinking that she is making some evil plan against him.

Hc's:

Zim watches Anavoig sleep. He's just... Terrified.

Anavoig tries to cook for Zim, but it turns out that he gives all the food to Gir when she turns around.

Anavoig finds Dib and Zim's bickering hilarious, but when Zim asks, she just says he's right, chuckling.

Anavoig LOVES Gir. Every time she can, she pampers him, pats his head, or defends him from Zim. Zim finds this somewhat disturbing.

Gir is the type to literally scream when he realizes that Anavoig is not there by his side. Zim tries to copy Anavoig sometimes, but it is a futile attempt.

When Anavoig realizes that Zim has gotten himself into trouble, she simply picks him up off the ground, and runs away with him in her arms, writhing and screaming.

When Anavoig is annoyed by Zim, she simply tugs on his antenna, which eventually makes him go quiet.

[i-smoke-chapstick]

AAA thank u for writing my request ♡ !! im rewatching workaholics so the brainrot is so real. could you please write anders x reader where he tries to seduce (se-ders) the reader ? ur choice either sfw or nsfw !! thanks in advance 😽

‘GORGEOUS,

-ANDERS HOLMVIK X READER-

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; Anders Holmvik is horrible at flirting…but it somehow works.

⋆ tags/warnings. Anders Holmvik x female!reader! FLUFF!!!! Anon I am SALIVATING for workaholics requests please keep them coming!!! I LOVE this idea btw, (se-ders is incredibly accurate!!) Made this SFW since i was getting tired but anon PLEASE send in some more NSFW or SFW requests for the boys if you’re comfortable i feel like i’ve missed an opportunity to make this smutty >.<

♫ “You should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk. / You’re so cool it makes me hate you so much.” Gorgeous by Taylor Swift

The moment you caught his eye at the party, he’d called dibs.

It was some house party you were invited to by your friend. You can’t say that the place is put together…but it’s certainly unique. And you’ll never pass up a chance to drink and give some guys a good flirt. You’re friend said she was invited by a group of guys who were appearently the hosts. She said they were weird as hell, and that you just had to see it for yourself.

Well, you’ll bite! Parties were never not fun, and almost immeadiatley upon entry, you understood exactly what she meant.

You and your group of friends were probably the only girls there. The rooms were cluttered up with junk, which was surprisingly unique. A Juggalo tapestry (interesting…), a whole ton of magazines, and the distinct smell of weed. You kinda liked it. It was homey.

Scanning around the room, you finally got a drink, and sipped on it lazily. You wandered from bathroom to bedroom, ignoring the commotion in the living room. One of the hosts, the short one, was trying to do a backflip on the dining table. You’d prefer not to see someone break their neck in person.

A voice grabbed you out of your thoughts, nearly scaring you half to death. You probably shouldn’t be snooping. Oh well. You looked up to find him. The tall one of the party hosts. He was wearing a polo, odd party attire you noted. You mentally prepared him to ask just what the hell you were doing, wandering around in his house.

Instead, he came over, wearing this god awful smirk.

Little did you know, he’d already been watching you carefully. RA instincts from back in college. He wondered why this super duper hot chick was sneaking around the house, but he didn’t really mind. Why not give it a shot? You were so pretty, in fact, that he was sure you only talked to, like, model looking guys. Which yeah, threatened him a little.

But he kept imagining how your kids would look like with him, and how that party dress hugged your waist, and how you laughed like a literal angel. So, he got a cup ready for you and walked over.

“Hey, uh, do you want a drink?” He asked, looking down on you, clearing his throat. Oh. That’s why he came over. You were used to getting hit on at parties. You wondered what pick-up line he would use, curiosity peaked. “It’s, uh, a special concoction I made. I call it… Anders’ Elixir of Love. Pretty impressive, huh?”

Well, wouldn’t hurt to humor the guy. Your red solo cup had been drained empty minutes ago anyways.

“Anders’ Elixir of Love?” You repeated, mildly confused and intrigued.

“Actually, it’s Anders. Like, Ahn-ders,” He quickly waved off and corrected you. “Not “Ann-ders,” like you’re struggling with basic phonics. But it’s cute you tried.”

You nodded in understanding, a bit impressed by the…confidence (?) to correct you. Not to mention the blunt insult. For some reason, whatever technique he was poorly aiming for was working.

“Okay, Ahn-ders. What’s in the drink?”

“Oh, you know, just a bit of this and that. Mostly, uh, vodka and… more vodka. But it’s all in the wrist action when you mix it. Really important. You look like you could use some of my, uh, mixology expertise.”

You’re eyebrows scrunched together, and you couldn’t help the small smile playing on your lips. You take the drink from him, taking a sip. Yep, thats all vodka. You fight the urge to make a face.

“Thanks,” You respond. “Do you normally host parties like this?”

He seems like he’s pysching himself up, and attempts a painfully awkward smirk.

“Oh, yeah. I’m, uh, kind of a big deal at parties. People just, you know, can’t resist my charm and my… face. I mean, look at this jawline. It’s like chiseled from marble.”

He immeadiatley bends down and shifts so you can see his side profile.

That illicts a chuckle from you, and you see his eyes brighten up.

“Is that your friend out there? On the table?” You reference the short one, with an eyebrow raised. These guys are certainly…interesting.

“Oh, Adam?” He looks back, before his attention turns to you. At the name, he seems tired. He waves the guy off, a roll of his eyes and a huff. “Ignore him. He’s insane.”

So maybe he’s the sane one? You think.

“But back to you, girl. You got a body like Pamela Anderson in Baywatch and I’m tryna ride that waaaave.” He leans against the door frame and slowly strokes his chin, biting his lip and squinting his eyes.

Ah, and he’s ruined it. He speaks with a tone of superiority and a he’s bit overly-confident. He gives an awkward, almost manic giggle when he realized you’re silent. Maybe he’s not the sane one, but he’s got a charm to him. You could do worse. You shrug.

You carefully inch closer towards him, and put a hand on his shoulder. His confidence almost immeadiatley slips, and he stands up straight, correcting his posture. At the contact, his mouth drops open, and lets out a small gasp. He quickly attempts to recover with a hard swallow, as though he can’t believe this is actually happening. Like really, for real, actually happening.

“Show me what you can do then.”

Before you know it, his hands are on your waist- like magnets connecting, and he’s holding on a bit too tight.

You love parties.

[androidboy]

3:40 am my brain won’t shut uppppp

i feel like i’m constantly on the verge of breaking up with my gf but mostly bc the base of us just feels so fuckin unstable and all i want in life rn is stability. it feels like she’s always got one foot in one foot out and she says she loves me and she calls me every night but sometimes it feels like she got into a relationship with me just to call dibs and that’s why she wanted it open. she even told me a few days before she asked me to be her bf that she was scared someone else was gonna swoop me up and she’s constantly talkin about how sweet i am and asking how i got this way

like i feel like we’re not operating on the same level of open relationship but also i know my brain’s insecure and i don’t wanna call her out on something she hasn’t actually done and she also keeps lowkey saying she’s waiting for our first fight and i don’t want it to be that bc i know me and i don’t want our first fight to end in me breaking up w her

like my version of open relationship is like. i flirt with people, i’ll go on dates with other people, but if i’m with her she’s getting my full attention. with her though i feel like she’s just lookin for anyone all the time even when we’re out and i don’t want to feel like i have to fight to keep her attention? i just wanna enjoy being with her. when we were out at a friends gig i was fuckin miserable bc it was way longer than she said it would be and the music sucked and i didn’t know anyone and i was cold and she started flirting with this guy and got a free drink from him and i was like nicee but then she started like distancing herself from me like she was trying to act available and then after a while she was acting normal again and the next day she was like “yeah he was super cute but then i was like no im with my bf that’d prob be shitty. i didn’t wanna ditch you :)” and idk!!!!!!!! it hurt my feelings that she considered it.

it was pride so i feel like it was different and i can’t bring that up against her but i know i’m gonna have to if she does it again and idk. i feel like the entire time ive known her it’s been me bein like “do i deserve more than this?” i keep asking myself am i happy? and the truth is i get moments of happiness and connection and i do feel moments where im like woah i love her and right now i don’t want to give that up!!!

[cosmicriff]

tell us about zinna or im literally exploding

I know I said she was a test tube baby but I’ve decided that Zim and Dib would not purposefully have kids so I like the idea of her accidentally coming from an egg. Plus Zim and Dib learning new weird things about how Irkens work that even Zim doesn’t know is peak

That being said she’s not really a part of my main headcanon anymore. She’s like an au within an au

Her personality is like, a more chaotic child version of Peridot from SU with a little bit of Louise Belcher

Every earth thing that negatively affects Zim (water, meat, etc) also affects her but to a lesser extent, because of her mixed. human/irken dna Water slightly tingles and all meat is spicy. She probably shouldn’t eat meat or drink water but she occasionally does anyway (and her human side needs water) and finding stuff she can eat with no problems at all is a challenge

Has Irken and Vampire Bee traits: menace to society. Little fleshy irken fangs

Gaz looks after her sometimes. She doesn’t like it, but she feels like she needs to prevent her from becoming too much like Zim or Dib. She does take after Gaz quite a bit

Zim calls her “Zin” as a nickname because it sounds like Zim

[unauthorizedmagicians]

Season 1 Episode 8 - The Strangled Heart

god the scene they used for the preview image is so beautiful visually its wild

I love how stupid pretentious el is about drinks

“Porking?” “i was looking at the pork butt” (trying not to laugh his ass off)

“I call dibs on him”

Alice constantly has half of her hair in front of her face its insane

She barely opened the door like mannnn

Penny immediately trying to bang prof sunderland

GRETCHEN<33333 (aka the only physically disabled student in both the books and the show) (that i know of)

“Hell is real and its smells like axe body spray”

Also they ported over the study group from the book and im a little obsessed with it (even if its in a dif context)

Mike and el uhauled and its funny to me

I really wanna know what message that bunny had or was it just the knife and the beast was using the bunny bc it can travel between worlds?

I cannot tell if marina was trying to get her to join back or the threatening was the point

Ugh the whole plotline w julia and religion in season 1 always seemed so pretentious to me. Like the later seasons when we established that gods are real and also self-centered dicks is more in line with the rest of the themes of the show but having her believe so wholeheartedly in it was more naive than the show makes it out to be.

Stabby stabby

Wait not yet

We get the eliot cuntry confession first

“You see her tell her she owes me 20 bucks” OW

Ok now stabbing time

Oo pretty lights

Why they got him with no shoes on?

Bro this “circuit court system”? Tf where did that go later on

“That was 100% not a joke” teehee

“Get a knife. I’ll stab you right now”

“If she cared she’d be here” OUCH

MAGIC AS DRUGS. MAGIC AS DRUGS. MAGIC AS DRUGS

“Magic isn’t heroin” YES IT IS

I think about this scene way too fucking often

Ripcord…

In what world do rose vines growing from wounds ever create a whimsical picture in your head

“He’s been out of it for like 20 minutes” LMFAO THE WAY SHE SAYS THAT like wtf r u doing lol

This scene is so aesthetically beautiful

MAGIC IS DRUGS MAGIC IS DRUGS 

“The reason you treat magic like a drug, is because the people that taught it to you act like drug dealers. They buy it and they sell it, and they fight and they fuck for it.” AAAAAAAAAAAA

“All that scheming. Wasted” lol she’s silly

Also the ADR/voice swapping was very seamless its very cool

I saw an interview somewhere that there was a whole intricate tut for the spell el uses to kill mike but that they cut most of it out to only have the final little fingers crossing bit and i think its better cuz we get the like reveal of him being there the whole time (sam reich core if ur a dropout fan)

Anyways i hate what the beast did to eliot and his alcoholic spiral

Holy shit this episode analysis was longer than the last one

Q left his stuff by the door. Ik thats not what we r supposed to get out of them going to her bedroom to fuck but thats what i got out of it

[kittynugg]

Zim has really weird ways of judging people. (As shown in Bestest Friend) He'll stare at someone for a good thirty seconds just to tell them they look like a good spitter. (if you can figure out where that reference is from I'll give you a cookie)

Zim drinks caffeine by accident sometimes, he'll have a cup of coffee right before bedtime and just be like "WELL FUCK IT I GUESS IM NOT SLEEPING THEN" and just exist begrudgingly for the next nine hours.

^ Zim has pretty shit self-control in general when it comes to eating or drinking. Dib hides the candy in the house because if he doesn't it'll be gone the next morning and Zim will mysteriously be complaining about wanting to projectile vomit all day.

Zim is absolutely mesmerized by fireflies. So much so that he made artificial ones to just keep in a jar and be able to watch since if him and Dib went out and caught some they'd fucking die eventually.

Professor Membrane gave Zim ALL the dirt on Dib. He instantly knew something was up when Zim called him "Dibbles." (It was a nickname he had when he was a lot younger that he still responds to)

Zim fucking loves sweaters. He hardly chooses them over his uniform but when it's cold out you'll always see him in one.

Zim hardly decorated his room at all. The only real personal touches it has is the green wallpaper and some star and planet decals on his ceiling (they used to be stickers but he made a hologram for them instead)

Zim is surprisingly considerate for someone with the gender of ASSHOLE, whenever he goes out to buy snacks he'll always get something for Dib and Gaz.

Dib doesn't know how to whistle. Zim does it all the time just because he can and it pisses him off to no end.

Professor Membrane is free a lot more often, he's told a couple of his secretaries to go fuck themselves and shows up to less meetings so he can actually watch his kids grow up.

Invader Zim scenario HEADCANONS:

Brought to you by dumbass ™️

Zim can eat as much as GIR can, but chooses not to, because it’s “impolite”

Zim and dib have “special no fight days” where they hang out or whatever like 4 days out of the month, except summer where it’s 5, when those land on school days the skoolkids act like the raptures coming

Keef once dramatically professed his love for zim in front of everyone (flowers a huge ass speech etc) and zim promptly threw up and beat Keef up after school for embarrassing him. Keef though he was playing hard to get (he was not. There was no love involved whatsoever.)

Zim fucking loves earth pastries, he will postpone his “evil plans” if dib bribes him with a couple of cupcakes.

^ when zim, gaz and dib were at a state fair, zim entered a pie eating contest, he just wanted pie, but it was the worst thing dib and gaz ever witnessed, he ate 3 pies in 5 minutes. It looked like the dark harvest but with blueberry pies. Dib still can’t eat pie, but zim did win.

Zim actually likes girs soap waffles, he just eats them in moderation

Since doughnuts are rarities for the tallest, the first time zim had a doughnut was when letter M brought them in for his birthday, zim was confused, ate it, and promptly cried at how delicious it was, like full on nearly sobbing, (his classmates were like “BRO?” “Is you good??!!”)

Membrane once invited zim over for dinner, because “he’s such a polite young man! With his passion for science, he’s a wonderful influence for you dib!” And zim was well behaved, dib however…..

Gaz and zim once played cuphead together, after fighting over who got to be cuphead (gaz won) they played… two dumbasses with anger problems playing a rage game…. Membrane and dib curled into a corner and cried of fear

Zim can cook actually really well because his time on foodcourtia, he just does not like to. He once cooked for a schools bake sale and dib accused him of buying it.

Zim hacked into the membranes Netflix account, and for some reason it cannot be removed, like he hardwired it into the account.

Zim and gaz and GIR Play video games together, (Minecraft, Roblox, supersmash bros, Mario kart and animal crossing are their specialties) “GAZ DONT CONSPIRE WITH THE ENEMIES!!” “Shut the fuck up GIR just found diamonds and if we don’t get to him he’s gonna die and lose them in lava”

If you have any please reblog this with them PLEASEEEE!!! I wanna seeeeeee

[pendraigon-moved]

 the   switch   from,   hey   i’m   glad   ur   here   to   lmao   !!   gonna   die   so   you   don’t   have   to   !!!

[bitegore]

did this hours ago

said i was gonna post it like an hour ago

don’t @ me

i still have homework

[silversatoru]

Ok ok- don’t judge me but get this- College AU, Where Ereh and his friends all go to a nearby maid cafe and turns out his s/o works there, and his s/o is wearing a EXTREMELY short maid outfit and she starts to flirt with Eren’s friends, and basically Eren had enough and dragged his s/o to a bathroom stall, and fucked them calling y/n their little slut, etc. and fucked them so hard they couldn’t work the rest of the day- BYE- 🏃🏻‍♀️ 💨 🚪

maid cafe

a/n: i would never judge you for this???? your mind is incredible and this idea has corrupted my brain for days,, please send more of your wonderful ideas to my inbox. and please let me know what u think bc i truly hope i did u proud

eren yeager x female maid cafe!reader

synopsis: eren and his friends go to a maid cafe and his new girlfriend is their waitress — so he drags her to the bathroom and makes sure she knows who she belongs to

tags/warnings: smut, dom/sub, degrading, mild humiliation, mirror sex, public sex, mentions of drug use

word count: 3.4k

“hey, we should check out that maid cafe downtown. i heard the waitresses are fine,” jean smirked as he proposed the idea, passing a blunt he’d just finished rolling over to eren.

eren graciously accepted the weed, but clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes at jean’s new idea for their friday night. a maid cafe wasn’t particularly up his alley -- he’d just started dating you a few weeks ago and didn’t have any interest in drooling over other women all night. but he was bored and if everyone else wanted to go, he supposed he’d tag along too.

“hell yeah, pretty girls in short skirts sounds good to me,” connie jived, a giddy smile on his face as he blew out some smoke from his own blunt.

“don’t you think that kind of place is a little disrespectful, guys? we shouldn’t view women as-”

“you’re too uptight armin, maybe we can find a nice girl to suck you off and loosen you up a little bit” jean laughed and cut him off as the blonde boy continued to give his immature friends a disapproving look.

“whatever i’m in, just let me finish this first,” eren held up his blunt and took another long drag, “i wont be able to stand you assholes all night if im not high”.

the four of them hung around their shared four-bedroom college apartment a little longer, finishing up their smoke sesh and flinging half-assed insults at one another. the sky was already getting dusky by the time they actually left and were walking through the small, bustling town surrounding their campus. the cafe wasn’t too far, maybe a thirty minute walk, but it was a beautiful spring night and shit, gas is expensive.

armin’s face was horribly flushed when they finally arrived and entered the front door, the poor boy completely unable to even make eye contact with the hostess standing in front of them. his shyness earned him a swift elbow from eren — his way of telling the blonde boy to relax a little bit.

the young hostess spoke to them in a sing-song tone, her hair perfectly curled to frame her face and her cheeks pink with blush. connie and jean completely ate up everything she was doing, gawking at her like a bunch of losers who hadn’t gotten laid in way too long — which is exactly what they were. eren was almost relieved when she finally sat them at a table and walked away, because he couldn’t stand to listen to jeans' horrendous attempt at flirting any longer.

everything on the menu had cute names that matched the theme of the cafe, and while eren and armin browsed the options, connie and jean continued to whisper about the different waitresses and which one they hoped they got.

as for you, it had been a pretty uneventful night, normal customers and nothing too crazy — that was until you walked up to the newest table you were assigned and saw your boyfriend and his friends sitting around the booth. eren and you hadn’t been dating all that long, a few weeks at most, and you hadn’t even met any of these friends yet. anxiety began to pool in your chest, but you tried your best to put on your best voice and greet them like they were any other table — after all, eren was staring so intently at the menu that he hadn't even noticed you yet.

“welcome home, masters! can i get any drinks for you?” you push your voice up to a high octave and make sure to draw out the word masters — it was the opening line that every waitress was required to use by the cafe.

two of the four boys are ogling at you so intensely that they might as well have drool hanging off their desperate lips. a third boy is keeping his eyes fixated on the table as if he doesn’t want to look at you — which is something you’re not quite used to. and eren is staring at you with his mouth gaping open, which he quickly shuts before any of his friends can notice.

he decided to sit back and watch, an amused look on his face as you continue to flaunt your extra-girly facade. he decides that now isn’t a great time for introductions to his bonehead friends — plus he knows you’re nothing like this in real life, so it’s entertaining to watch you act so out of character.

not to mention you look hot as fuck in your skimpy maid outfit — the tight corset-like top hugged your breasts perfectly and your skirt was so short he could practically see the base of your ass cheeks. he could definitely get used to seeing you like this.

but his amusement quickly started to fade as connie and jean shamelessly showered you in compliments and flirted with you like their lives depended on it. and what makes it worse is you’re playing along — he gets that it’s your job but still, can’t you just tell them to shut the fuck up?

he shoots the two idiots across from him a dirty look as soon as you walk away, “hey dumbasses, cut the girl a break”.

“hey man, i didn't hear you call dibs or anything,” connie raised an eyebrow at him.

“yeah dude, we’re just fucking around, chill,” jean added, a light laugh hanging off his last word.

eren couldn’t do anything but roll his eyes in response. he didn’t want to outright expose your relationship yet but he wouldn’t be able sit here and watch this all night either.

his blood was practically boiling when you returned with a tray full of their drinks. connie and jean turned their charms right back on for you, and fuck, if he had to hear you call them “master” one more time he was gonna lose his mind.

“armin get the fuck out of the booth,” he glared at the blonde boy, practically pushing him out of the booth so he could get to you.

armin yet out a small yelp, clambering out of his seat and letting eren climb out after him. the dark haired boy gave you the sweetest smile, but his eyes were lit up like flames.

“hey, mind showing me where the bathrooms are?”

you find yourself frozen in place for just a second, but quickly recover and give him a quick “of course master, follow me!”

the two of you walk to the bathroom in silence, but you can practically feel the heat radiating off of eren.

when you reached the restrooms you opened the door for him and bowed your head, but he grabbed your wrist and yanked you inside behind him, earning a small yelp from you. you noticed him snap the lock down behind him, and before you could even question his motives you were backed into a wall with his lips working roughly against yours.

“so this is what you do all day? walk around with your ass hanging out while calling people master?” he growled in your ear while moving down towards your neck and placing violent kisses along the sensitive skin.

“i- ah- if it bothers you-“ you breath out between gasps, your hands pressed defensively to his chest, “god, you reek of pot, eren”.

“no, it doesn't bother me, i love watching you flirt with other men. but let me remind you who you actually belong to now,” he murmured, voice dripping with sarcasm as he nibbled up to your ear and his hands fondled with the zipper at the back of your uniform.

“eren!” a strangled yelp leapt from your throat as he unzipped you and let your costume fall around your ankles.

for a second you thought about trying to stop him, but his hot lips against your cool skin was starting to win you over. your neck was undoubtedly covered in bruised love marks now, your skin aching in the most beautiful way.

“take it all off,” he mumbled into your ear as he snapped the strap of your bra against your skin.

“we’re in a bathroom eren, i don’t-“ you tried to reason with him, but any inkling of a rational thought was long gone from his mind.

“what’s with all the protests? you had no problem following orders when my friends were the ones giving them,” he cocked an eyebrow at you and lifted his loose shirt over his head in one swift motion.

you could have retorted or made a jab back at him, but your attention was caught up in the perfect lines of eren’s physique. between the sculpted curves of each of his muscles, his dark hair tied in a loose knot at the base of his neck, and the evil smirk across his lips, you were rendered indefensible. everything about eren was so intoxicating, and the idea of letting him have his way with you right now, in this bathroom, was starting to sound less and less like a bad idea. you weren’t sure how long you’d been staring and admiring when his lusty voice filled your ears again.

“did you forget how to use that pretty mouth of yours? i’m sure i can give you a little refresher,” he faked a frown and pointed to the floor with his index finger.

without a shred of reluctance you sunk to his feet. he had you in a state of utter compliance now, and all he had to do was mutter a few arrogant words and take off his shirt — you were almost ashamed, almost.

after a few smooth movements of his fingers against the drawstrings of his sweats, the tip of his member was hanging mere centimeters from your face. you glanced up at him with giant eyes as he stared down at you with his clouded ones. between his raging hunger for your body and the high that was still clouding his mind, there wasn't a single coherent thought in eren’s head other than the way your lips would feel wrapped around his cock.

“open up, princess. if you wanna act like a slut, i’ll treat you like one,” he grabbed the back of your head and forced it forward.

your lips parted without even thinking, and he thrusted his full length down your throat without any warning. you were left coughing and sputtering, the walls of your throat constricting against his cock and sending a few curses from his lips.

he slowed down slightly after that, but kept a steady pace as he mouth-fucked you until tears were leaking down your cheeks. you were gagging and coughing and your face was stained with salty saline but you loved every second of it. his head rolled back as raspy grunts fell from between his teeth, his fist tightening at your scalp.

after he thought you’d finally had enough he pulled back and released your hair from his steel grip. his cock was aching now, coated in a thick layer of your sticky saliva and yearning for more.

“get on the counter,” he ordered, and you scrambled to your feet in a way that was embarrassingly desperate.

you boosted yourself up onto the cool countertop, positioned perfectly between two sinks and leaning back against the mirror. eren placed a firm grip on each of your legs, shoving them open and snickering at the slick patch of fabric between your thighs.

“you like being treated like a whore, don’t you?” he clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth and reached down at your panties before yanking them off in one fell swoop.

he squatted down so his face was level with your cunt, sticking out his tongue and dragging it up to your clit with antagonizing slowness. he moved the warm muscle up and down, sliding it between your folds and in circles around your clit — but his tongue was just barely making contact. and every time you bucked your hips towards him, begging and yearning for just a little more he’d pull his head back and click his tongue at you.

you were aching, leaking, and so incredibly needy for him and he knew it. he’d transformed you into the crumpled mess laying before him in a matter of minutes, and he was very proud of it.

“i’d start begging if i were you, or i’ll leave you here like this — a stupid broken slut with no one to fuck her,” he stood up and cocked his head to the side before beginning to tease your entrance with a single finger.

“ah- eren, please! i’ll do whatever you want,” you whimpered at him, a pitiful look on your face.

“eren? you know you’re not supposed to call customers by their name here,” he shook his head, “you’ll have to do better than that”.

“please- master, use me however you want. just please fuck me already”.

that seemed to suffice for eren, because after that it didn’t take long for him to shealth himself inside you and have your sweaty back slamming into the glass mirror behind you. strangled moans and pitiful whimpers slipped from between your lips, your eyes rolling back into your head in complete bliss. he’d teased and tormented you for so long that the sudden intense stimulation was almost too much.

he fucked himself into you so hard you thought you might break — your legs ached and your back hurt from awkwardly leaning into the mirror. but those feelings were quickly pushed to the back of your head because the overwhelming pleasure was so forceful that you could barely focus on anything else. eren’s length was grinding deep into your aching caverns so good that it was completely clouding your brain.

you let out a stifled gasp when he abruptly pulled out, leaving you feeling empty and aching for more.

“why-,” your voice was so destitute and so, so desperate.

“shut up and stand in front of me,” he commanded, pulling you off the counter and twisting you so you were facing the bathroom mirror.

“look at yourself in the mirror and watch me fuck you,” he practically snarled, placing a palm on your back and pushing your chest down against the counter, “look at how much of a slut you are for me”.

the only response that came out of your mouth was a tiny whine of acceptance — it was pathetic.

a breathy moan fell from your lips as he slid back in, and your cheeks blushed a dark shade of red as you watched yourself get fucked from behind. it was embarrassing, humiliating even, having to see yourself like this, but what made it even worse was that you fucking liked it.

“look at yourself,” he nodded towards the mirror, picking up his pace and tightening his grip on your hips, “just a dumb whore who’s good for nothing but taking orders from other people”.

“only- you!” you let out a strangled yelp.

“what was that? i don’t think i heard you,” he thrusted hard, reaching deeper than he had the entire time and then leaning over your back so his head was positioned right next to yours.

“say it again,” he murmured, burning holes through your eyes with how intensely he was staring at you in the mirror.

“i’m a dumb whore, but only for- you,” you repeated, squirming and whining at the painful pleasure he was forcing into you.

“that’s right,” he flashed you a satisfied grin, standing back up and resuming his original pace.

the sudden shift had you clawing at the smooth countertops — desperately wishing you had a pillow or sheet to grasp onto for some kind of support. you flinched when you felt a couple of his cool fingertips find your clit, immediately rubbing hasty circles around the sensitive bundle of nerves.

“i want you to come for me,” he locked eyes with you in the mirror again, “and i want you to think about how i’m the only one who will ever make you feel this good the entire time”.

his words were harsh but they sounded like honey when they flowed through your pathetically devoted ears. between his consistent thrusts and the pads of his fingers working their magic, you were a pitiful mess of whimpers and moans in a matter of minutes. your body twitching and legs shaking as you mumbled his name over and over — it was the only word your brain could comprehend right now.

seeing you like that nearly pushed eren over the edge himself, but he forced himself to last a little longer, wanting to milk your orgasm for everything that it was. he was genuine when he said no one else would ever make you feel the way he could — your head was spinning and your body was on a high that felt like it would never end.

only once your body finally fell limp and tired, signifying that your climax had ended, did he pull out and spray his seed all over your exposed back. you were a sticky, sweaty mess and your legs didn’t have the strength to stand even after eren was done coming down from his own high.

your face was buried in your arms when you felt a wet paper towel cleaning up the mess of semen off your back. eren tossed the towel into the garbage and wrapped his arms under your torso so he could help your pitiful self stand up. you let out a few pained whimpers, stumbling into his arms and wrapping your hands around his neck.

“that bad, huh? how are you gonna go back out there and work for all your masters? i’m sure they’re waiting,” he smirked at you, and there was no sympathy in his voice.

“i- i don’t think i can,” you whined, clinging to him as your legs continued to shake underneath you.

eren shook his head and clicked his tongue, helping you over to your clothes and assisting you with getting back into your uniform. even after getting dressed your legs refused to work — you were a shaky, stumbling mess. you sat in a pitiful heap against the tiled wall while you watched eren get his own clothes back on.

“i think you might need a new job,” he snickered, squatting down and lifting you onto his back once he was dressed.

you graciously climbed onto his back, arms wrapping around his neck and burying your face into his neck, “yeah, yeah i’ll get a new job”.

“good idea, because everyone’s about to see how pathetic you are as we walk through the cafe,” he wrapped his arms back under your backside to support your weight.

“there’s a back exit right down the hall, please take that one,” you begged, “please”.

“well. since you asked so nicely and did so well i guess you deserve that,” he complied, exiting the bathroom and following your directions to the back door.

but because you have the worst luck in the world, one of the cafe managers came walking right around the corner just as the two of you were about to leave. you buried your head deeper into eren’s neck, unbearable amounts of embarrassment and shame flooding your veins.

“hey man, she quits, sorry!” eren yelled and handled it for you, dashing out the back door before the manager could even comprehend what he’d just seen.

“thank you,” you mumbled into his shirt, and you were truly thankful that you didn’t have to speak for yourself in there.

“no problem, princess,” he adjusted one of his hands so he could squeeze your ass, making you jump against his back, “let’s head back to my house for round two, yeah?”

“r-round two?” you stuttered.

you could barely handle round one, and he was ready to go again? how!?

“i’m joking, relax. let’s go watch a movie or something,” he chuckled, hoisting you higher on his back and beginning your long walk back to his apartment.

you sighed and sunk into his back, that sounded nice. there was a huge difference in how eren acted earlier and how he was acting now, but you were a sucker for both personalities. you expected college to consist of classes and work and maybe a few new friends but meeting eren yeager was sure to make it a lot more interesting.

[silly-billy-soup-stranger]

Okieeee my ask so im like hyper exited and just shaking my legs behind me like an idiot lmao but anyways many many things where do i even start.

Wine drinking comp: i think of the myth where thor has to like steal tyr's dad's giant cauldron for wine so it could fit thors ginormous drinking capacity or amth like that so i feel like both could just keep going on and on and on ending up with someone needing to intervene

To the swapping gods i just want to imagine shenanigan after shenanigan after tomfoolery after horseplay

With the helios' chatiot and stuff theres also the norse godess sòl that also has a chariot which pulls the sun with the wolf which sometimes takes bites out of the sun being solar eclipses and i just find it interesting if they like took shifts and like the wolf that chases sòl kinda just chills and takes a nap when its helios' turn and sòl is just like "dude wtf unfair" and if huitzilpotchli was actually being in the chariot it would be funny if he was like "sol i aint being the sun while its your turn im getting tired of this bitchy wolf going grrrrfrffrrrrf bark bark at me"

To the taboo thing i didnt even think of that and it would be real funny now that you mentioned it and i also enjoy the idea of like odin just walking up to the greek underwold and being like "yo wassup hades im taking these guys" "what do you mean youre taking them they are clearly stuck here with me and persephone" "shut your incestious mouth up i already said i call dibs on the warriors and you have no idea what a pain it is to try to give the valkyties directions here"

What do you think would happen if we just grabbed one of the gods from the norse pantheon and threw them in the greek one and vice versa?

Also

Id love to see like diff gods bickering over whos idea it was to do XYZ myth that is common in many many cultures for example the flood myth

u know what. i have actually thought about this a lot because i've been trying to put together a story about the end of the world tying in different versions of the apocalypse into one massive story. and i was thinking maybe that some myths that are common either took place during different times, so like, there were multiple times in the history of the world where a great deluge occurred... OR those catastrophes were the work of several pantheons combined. like,, idk maybe everyone agreed to put their minds together and pull off an event together.

for example, the Sun is supposed to be pulled by Helios' chariot everyday, but the Sun is also supposed to be Huitzilpochtli. well, obviously it doesn't make sense that Helios is pulling Huitzilopochtli around in a chariot (funny idea though), so maybe what actually happened was each sun god forms a ray of the sun, and all of them together, jointly, form the brilliance of the sun. and i dont think Helios is actually trekking across space every day, but sort of, all the sun gods' existence creates the sun and its motion.. so when one sun god dies or "leaves the post/gets replaced in the role" (which happens a lot in aztec myth), then, the sun gets weak at that point, prompting some sort of "mini-apocalypse" that triggers the start of a new age of man with new sun gods.

idk if i explained that properly. but that's what i was thinking.

also, i realised i didn't really answer the first question- short term? pure chaos. long term? hilarious shenanigans. i've already expressed the idea about "clubs", like all the kings of the pantheons being absolute dads and cringe kings in "guy scouts", and all the war gods getting together in "fite club", etc. so yeah, i think it could work. but many trickster gods getting together? u r going to have a very messy planet to deal with. also it's hilarious because things that are taboo in one culture are not taboo in another. like the Norse think family dynamics are the same for gods as they are for mortals, which means, a brother cannot and should not marry his sister. but the greeks? hoooo boy well, everyone knows how that works. so it's hilarious to think how horrified the norse gods would be about the greek gods' dynamics. and then there's also the deal about how the greek gods are immortal in the truest sense, as in, they can't die. like ever. but then, norse gods can die, and they can go to an underworld of sorts, and that underworld is the SAME one that mortals go to. which is interesting. so i mean, i guess it would be the same as any one of us experiencing a different, unfamiliar culture.

[harryfeatgaga]

college harry would be such a BOY like maybe you don’t know each other that well but he sees you around sometimes because you have mutual friends and he has a distant but embarrassingly big crush on you. one day he finds out you and your mutual friends are going on a beach trip and when he finds out he starts texting your mutual friends and basically BEGGING them to let him come and everyone is like “does this have something to do with your crush on a certain someone? 🤔” which he denies but everyone KNOWS he has a crush on you. so the day comes and harry embarrasses himself so many times in front of you by doing things like calling dibs on going in your car, practically jumping at every opportunity to get you a drink, and being caught staring at your boobs and ass for too long. eventually everyone else has left in their own cars or took an uber home, except for you and harry. you turn to him and he’s already looking at you, seeming to admire your face, especially your lips. you look at him too, trying hard not to look at his lips, afraid of the possibility of giving into harry’s boyish adoration. “harry, do you like me?”, you say as you try to catch his eyes, but harry’s already looking away from you. “is it that obvious?”, he says as he’s trying to find anything a fraction as fascinating as you to look at on the beach. you pull his head towards you to look directly into his eyes and stare deeply into them before letting your gaze fall onto his lips, unwavering. both of you lean in before kissing sweetly and separating with excited smiles on your faces.

PLEASEEEEEEEENFBHUJN CRUSHRRY WOULD BE SO OBVIOUS AND BLUSHY AND STUMBLING OVER HIS WORDS AND NOT BEING SUBTLE AT ALLLLL IM CRYINGGBGTGBTRF

[buckys-other-punk]

Why There?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Tony suggests a little game for everyone to play after a party. You and Bucky are partnered up and let’s just say things become heated throughout the game.

Warnings: SMUT, unprotected sex, cussing and alcohol/drunk-ish people?

Prompt: “Let’s go fuck in that closet.”

Word Count: 2.8K 

A/N: Helloo loves! Starting off the new year with a new smutty fic! This was suppose to be for a writing challenge I joined back in May (holy shit i’ve put this off for way to long..sorry), but the blog who hosted the challenge kinda logged off of tumblr...but I still wanted to write this if they decided to come back (and check it out) and also for you guys of course. This is also very much unedited (like always because im excited to share this) Lemme know if you guys wanna be tagged in future fics and what you think of this fic! Enjoy ;)

**DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE UNDER 18, BUT I CANT CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS SO THIS FINAL WARNING IS POINTLESS...**

“Fuck, how many drinks have you had?” Sam asked, looking at Bucky.

“Far too many. You think Stark’s gonna stop poisoning us?” he chuckled in reply.

“Guys we should play a game!” Tony slurred excitingly towards all of you.

“Tony, are you drunk?” Steve asked Tony. In response he ignored the captain.

You looked at Natasha who was sitting next to you on the couch. Rolling your eyes you asked the man, “What game should we play Tony?”

“I’m glad you asked my dear sweet Y/N.” he stated as he patted your head gently.

“He’s for sure drunk.” you heard Clint huff under his breath.

“Whoever said that, go suck a dick.” Tony grumbled. “Anyways we should play hide and seek! It would be so fun to play it in this big tower!” he exclaimed.

“Tony, I honestly think you’ve had way too much to drink.” Pepper chuckled at her husband.

“No, I’m fine dear. Seriously guys come on! I’ll make it fair. We can have partners!” Tony explained.

“I call Y/N!” Sam yelled getting up from his seat. 

“Dude what the fuck!” Bucky whispered, slapping his shoulder with an angry expression.

“Hey, I wanted to partner with Y/N.” Natasha pouted towards Tony and you.

“Guys, relax I’m sure Tony is the one who will be picking partners. Isn’t that right Tony?” you hesitantly said looking at Stark.

“That’s right Y/N.” Tony replied. “And since Mr. Wilson over here was so eager he’s going to be partnered with Clint.”

“Noo!” Sam and Clint both shouted in astonishment as they looked at Tony.

“Sorry boys. Nat you’re with Steve.” Tony ordered looking at the pair. “I’m with my beautiful wife of course.”

“Yeah, no I’m tired honey. Being the host of an extravagant party was enough.” she said as she kissed Tony’s cheek.

“Good night Pepper.” you said ever so sweetly.

“Thanks. Have fun guys.” she said waving goodbye to everyone and exiting the room.

“Well, I guess I’m with you Banner. I’m assuming you’re playing.” Tony asked, crossing his arms.

“Do I have a choice?” Bruce said in defeat. 

“Nope!” Tony said. “And that leaves Y/N and Bucky for the final pair.” he added looking towards the two of you. You were kind of happy to be paired with Bucky, even though you wished to be paired with Natasha, but Bucky will have to do. I mean, you and Bucky have been having an on and off thing every so often, how bad would this be? You looked towards Bucky with a smile which he returned.

“What?! How come Bucky gets to be with Y/N!? I called dibs!” Sam said angrily towards Tony.

“Because I said so.” Tony snapped which made Sam go off in the corner to sulk.  “So here are the rules; you can’t ask FRIDAY for help, each pair needs to stay together, if you are found you can’t help the seeker find the others, and this entire floor is up for grabs.” Tony explained.

“Wait, if the entire floor is good to hide, that means we can hide in people’s rooms?” Clint asked with a mischievous smirk.

“Yup, everything is clear. If everyone is ok with that?” Tony asked, looking at everyone.

“Yeah.”    “I’m fine with that.”    “Ok.”     “Sure.”

“Alright, but just in case none touches anybody’s stuff in their rooms. Oh, I also forgot to mention, you can move around if you don’t like your hiding spot.” Tony stated sounding less drunk than before. “So, is everyone ready?” he asked and everyone gave a nod towards the man. 

“Ok, Bruce and I will be the seekers. We’ll give everyone 15 minutes to hide. FRIDAY can you announce when the time is up and who gets found when we find people?” he asked the AI.

“Yes, Mr. Stark.” the AI said. “Your 15 minute timer starts now.”

With that everyone grabbed their partners and took off. Clint practically dragged Sam from the corner where he was sulking. Steve picked up Nat and carried her out of the room. Natasha was furiously yelling at Steve to put her down saying she can walk herself. Bucky grabbed your hand and you both ran towards the kitchen.

As the two of you entered the kitchen you both saw Clint try to shove Sam into one of the cabinets underneath the island table. They both felt yours and Bucky’s stares and whipped their heads towards the two of you.

“GET OUT!” Sam yelled as he tried to shimmy into the storage space. Bucky raised his hands in defeat and the two of you exited the kitchen. As you both were leaving you heard Sam yell to Clint, “Dude quit shoving me so hard!” The two of you laughed as you walked down the hallway.

You both passed the living quarters where you briefly saw red hair hiding behind a dresser. You stopped walking to look into the room, which was Clint’s, and saw blue eyes were peeking underneath a bed. “You guys are gonna be found first.” you said to the two.

“Fuck off Y/N. You guys haven’t even hidden yet.” you heard Nat say from behind the dresser.

“There is 5 minutes remaining.” FRIDAY announced.

“Let’s see who gets found first.” Steve said from underneath the bed.

You shook your head and walked towards Bucky. The two of you couldn’t find a perfect spot to hide and time was running out.

“Y/N there.” Bucky said pointing towards the laundry room. You nodded and the two of you quickly entered the room searching for a good place to hide. 

“Damn it there’s nowhere good to hide in here!” you huffed out towards the man.

“Aw come on Y/N. What about there?” he said pointing to the supply closet. “Let’s go fuck in that closet.” he said with a smirk.

“What the fuck Bucky!” you quietly yelled. “First off, no. Second, why should we hide there? Isn’t it a little too obvious to hide in a closet?” you replied with your hands on your hips.

“Hey at least I tried.” he said, raising his arms in defense. “Well it may be so obvious that the science bros wouldn’t even look there.” Bucky replied, back arms crossed.

“The 15 minute time is up. Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner is on their way.” the AI announced.

“Ugh, fine we’ll hide in the closet.” you huffed in defeat as you pulled Bucky with you towards the closet. You opened the door, shoved Bucky inside first and got in closing the door behind you. The space felt super small with Bucky’s large frame pressed up behind you. His hands were on your hips and you felt his hot breath on your exposed neck. Fuck why did Tony have to have this idea right after a party? You grumbled to yourself.

“You smell nice, doll.” Bucky whispered in your ear.

“That’s fucking creepy Bucky.” you replied back.

“What, I can’t help it. You look so fucking hot in this dress.” he started as he rubbed his hands along your frame which of course gave you goosebumps.

“Wait, be quiet. I think I hear someone.” you whispered. Bucky became quiet, but his arms wrapped around your front this time and he pulled you even closer to his body. You could feel his bulge pressing against your lower back.

“Nothing here.” you heard Bruce yell.

“Did you check the closet?” Tony asked.

“I don’t think anyone would be hiding in the closet. That’s the most obvious place to hide.” Banner said.

“Alright then.” Stark stated as the two of them exited the laundry room.

He sobered up quickly you said to yourself.

Both you and Bucky huffed out the breath you were holding. You waited a good 5 minutes before opening the closet door and pulling Bucky out. As soon as the two of you got out of that closet you heard FRIDAY announce that Natasha and Steve were found first.

“Knew it.” you whispered with a smirk towards Bucky. “We gotta find somewhere else to hide.” you added.

“Where should we go?” he asked, walking towards the exit of the laundry room, looking out into the hallway to see if the coast was clear.

“Maybe someone’s room. I don’t think that Tony and Bruce would go back there since they already found a pair.” you said shrugging your shoulders.

“Alright, let's go to Sam’s room.” Bucky said. “I’ve always wanted to mess with his stuff.” he added with a smirk.

“Tony said to not mess with the rooms, Buck.” you said as the two of you walked into the hallway towards the room.

“Fuck his rules. I’ve been meaning to mess with Wilson’s stuff for a while, but never got the chance.” he snickered.

“Whatever.” you huffed.

The two of you arrived in Sam’s room without hesitation and Bucky wreaked havoc. He went into the bathroom and messed with all of Sam’s toiletries. Sam’s bed was neatly fixed before the two of you got there, but once Bucky finished messing with his bathroom, he walked towards the bed laying down on it.

“You wanna fuck in his bed?” Bucky said wiggling his eyebrows at you.

“What no.” you quickly said.

“Fine, maybe next time.” winking at you as he stood up from the bed. You rolled your eyes as you looked around the room wondering if Tony and Bruce found Sam and Clint. About 15 minutes passed and you were getting bored. Did Tony and Bruce give up?

“You guys are giving me a headache.” you heard Tony announce through the intercoms. “New rule, if you found a new spot to hide you have to stay there.”

“Ugh, I need this game to be over so i can get out of this dress.” you said as you laid on Sam’s bed.

“I can help with that, doll.” Bucky flirted which again made you roll your eyes. “Come one Y/N. Help me get back at Sam for his prank on me. Let’s fuck on his bed.” he begged at you on his knees. You sat up as an idea formed in your mind, which would help him get his revenge.

“No, I’m not gonna have sex with you in Sam’s bed.” you said and Bucky groaned frustrated looking at the ground. “But,” you started and that made him lift his head up. You leaned forwards towards him so that your face was close to his. “I’ll fuck you in his closet.” you said looking straight into his eyes. You saw his blue eyes turn dark filling with lust.

“You’re serious Y/N? You’re not messing with me right?” he asked quietly staring into your eyes

“I’m dead serious babe.” you said confidently and with that Bucky stood up and lifted you into his arms. As he walked towards the closet his blue eyes were staring into your y/e/c eyes. He looked down to your lips then back up at your eyes. Once Bucky entered the open closet he leaned his head forward and connected his lips with yours.

The kiss was passionate and rough. Bucky closed the door slightly so just enough light could peak through. He pressed you up against the wall as he still held onto you. He deepened the kiss and the two of you moaned as your tongues fought for dominance. Your chest was pressed up against his, arms around his neck holding him close and thighs wrapped around his torso.

You felt one of his hands move from your back to your exposed thigh. He ran his hand from your thigh up to your hip, pushing your black dress along with it. Bucky withdrew his lips from yours and attached them to your neck. Unsatisfied with his thin grey dress shirt, you moved your hands to his chest and began to unbutton the fabric wanting more of him. Just as you finished unbuttoning his shirt you both heard a noise outside the closed space. 

Both of you froze in place looking towards the cracked door not wanting to get caught. You heard footsteps walk past the room and a grumble followed by a door shutting. It was probably Steve, tired of Tony’s little game and wanting to sleep the rest of the night. With that the two of you huffed in relief, Bucky looked back to you  with his lustful eyes.

“You’re sure you still want to do this?” he asked face inches to yours.

“If we get caught, then whoever catches us will have a great show.” you said smugly.

“I’m gonna fucking ruin you, doll.” he growled as he took off his shirt completely while still holding onto you. 

You followed suit, luckily your dress had no zippers, so you pulled your dress up over your head and kicked off your heels. Bucky pulled back and drooled at the sight of you. You wore a black bralette and lace thong underneath your dress. He grabbed the back of your head and pulled it forward as he pressed his lips on yours once again. Your hands ran up his toned chest to the back of his neck, you used our right hand to slightly pull at his hair which made him moan.

Bucky’s right hand moved from your hip to up your body, stopping at your left breast giving it a light squeeze. Moaning at the sensation you began to grind against his lower half, feeling his dick twitch underneath his dress pants. Bucky pushed the fabric covering your breasts down, his lips removed from yours as he placed hot wet kisses from your jaw down to your chest. Admiring your naked torso he lifted you higher against the wall so he could attach his lips on your hardened nipple as one of his hands began to rub your clit through your lace thong. You moaned, grabbing a fist full of his hair drawing his lips back to yours. 

Once your lips were attached Bucky’s, he began to unbuckle his belt and you fumbled unzipping his pants off. He pushed them down along with his boxer briefs to his thighs and his hard dick sprang free form its restraints. It was your turn to now drool at the sight of him. You moved your right hand between your bodies as you grabbed his dick and began stroking it. Bucky moved his hand back to your clothed pussy and moved your lace thong to the side. He gathered the slick juices from your pussy to his mouth, moaning harder at the taste of you and your actions.

“You ready doll?” he asked looking at your eyes and you replied with a yes. He spat in his hand and pumped his dick before slowly inserting into you. The two of you moaned at the sensation as Bucky held you close waiting for you to adjust to his size.

“Move baby.” you whispered in his ear. Bucky slowly pulled out of you and back in.His movements were torturously slow and you wanted more.

“Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner have found Mr. Wilson and Barton.” FRIDAY announced. 

Oh thank god you said to yourself. “You better make this fast Barnes.” you breathed out finally getting what you wanted.

“Oh doll, if you want fast I’ll show you fast.” he whispered in your ear. Just like that his hips pulled back almost completely and quickly thrusted back into you. You moaned in Bucky’s ear pulling at his hair with your right hand, scratching his back with the other keeping his body close to yours. His pace changed to an agonizing slow pace making you clench around him.

“Fuck Bucky.” you moaned as your head rested on his shoulder. Bucky then thrusted hard into you again. You screamed, biting his shoulder as your back was pressed harder against the wall.

“Shit doll, you’re taking me so well.” he said as he kissed along your jaw. With each sharp thrust his lips moved closer and closer to yours. Once he felt your clench around his dick he placed his lips on yours swallowing your moans. 

“What the fuck?” a voice yelled as they entered his room.

Bucky’s ears perked up and he quickened his pace fucking you harder and harder. You couldn’t control how loud your moans were. You quickly slapped your hand over your mouth, hoping Sam didn’t hear. Your legs began to shake as you felt your climax come near and Bucky felt you clench around his dick. He quickly moved his hand over to your clit rubbing the small bundle of nerves as fast as he could. You both hear footsteps come closer and closer to the closet door. 

You and Bucky began panting hard at how close you both were. You felt Bucky’s dick twitch inside of you, which made you clench around him and just as you both were at the peak of your climax the closet door quickly opened revealing Sam. His eyes wide at the sight of you naked pressed up against the wall and Bucky balls deep inside of you. The two of you groaned in each other's mouths as you both came hearing yelling in the background.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Sam yelled again. Covering his eyes at the scene in front of him, his two best friends having sex with one another.

A/N: WOOOOO! What did you think of this mess! Was it hot (or not)? lol Again if you wanna be tagged in future fics, have any requests or just wanna chat, hit me up! 

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