#Button Men

[blue-bec]

Image description:

Normal person: 7 + 6 = 13

Me:

[Image of the dad from Family Guy with a thought balloon which states] If 7 + 7 = 14 & 6 is one less than 7 then 7 + 6 must be 13

ok, so Button Men taught me great mental arithmetic when it comes to adding and subtracting, but my fall back every time is any number added to something ending in 9, is one less than if it was added to a multiple of 10.

9+9 = 18 because 10 + 9 would be 19, therefore it is one less than 19

26+19 = 45 because 26 + 20 would be 46, therefor it is one less than 46

This method of mental arithmetic, however you get there, is perfectly valid and normal, so enjoy!

Also the link to Button Men (a dice game effectively):

[bigdaddyguapo]

Tight clothes try-on ⬆️

Big daddy has been known to pop some shirt buttons & rip a pair of pants or two … ain’t nothin with this big body

[hairychestloversblog]

When your drunk friend wants to show you the results since he’s been hitting the gym 🤩🤩🤩

[mikejcubz]

trying on my older brother's shirt

full vid up on patreon now

[akiacia]

coordinated aesthetics

[dallycatstrike]

important:

[extrafew]

The “no rules” diet has done a number on my paunch

[wafflesrisa]

slagclaren and brocedes hours 2k24

[untitledinstinct]

So... I'm a little pudgy.

[mieldreams]

I think I might have a

type

(alexa play just my type by the vamps)

[liquorwrist]

[maxz-b]

wild that people do cocaine sometimes but I guess if I was rich and owned a yacht I too would be that way this is part 7/???

[hairychestloversblog]

Mmmhhh. Wanna rip it open it all the way 😈🤤

[peterprick]

Samuel Colt

[vieoeil-riae]

maybe you're a bit of a crier (honestly who can blame you, getting pulled into a videogame set in ancient china but with gods and demon and etcetera tends to give you a nice constant emotional base of 'oh what the fuck') but you've managed to cope. well, cope enough, but at this point that's the best you could ask for.

but the destined one didn't seem to be one for tears though, the word neutrality might as well have been tattooed into his brow bone. sometimes an irritated frown, cheeky smile or confused quirk of his brow graced his face, but never tears.

that was until the two of you hit a rough patch in your journey. you got separated in a dense forest full of yaoguai, battle whisking the destined one away while you tried to stay out of the conflict - edging your way through the brush in an attempt to remain unseen.

unfortunately, this led you straight into the sights of a band of wolf guai. that went about as well as you'd expect. you managed to avoid being harmed, just barely, by talking like a madman - rambling and spouting enough nonsense that they decided it would be funnier to keep you around for a while before they made you into dinner.

you were on the brink of tears while they dragged you away, but through your blurring vision you had enough sense to start dropping small items and digging scars into the dirt with your heel to create a trail. fighter or not you weren't about to just give up.

an hour or so later, the destined one backtracked to where he last saw you. his nose twitched in building tension as he realised the extent of your absence. you weren't anywhere around here and it was very unlike you to stray far from him, a sinking feeling clawed its way down his throat.

the fight had gone poorly by his standards and he was sporting enough injuries to feel a constant aching as he moved through the trees with mounting unease. the thought of you being hurt made his lips twitch into a heavy frown, you were much too soft to deserve being hurt, too nice to be gone.

you were one of the few people who'd treated him like a true equal despite his muteness, you took the most time to understand him and the thought of you never talking to him again hurt more than he thought it would.

scrapes littered the path, obvious next to faint paw prints. wolves. his lips curled into a snarl and his eyes stung as he took off along the same path.

for you, it could've been worse. yeah sure you were tied up and sitting against a log in the middle of a yaoguai camp, but hey at least you weren't comedically tied to a spit over the fire pit! ...yet!

it'll be fine, you're sure of it, your monkey will find you before sunset and then you'll have dinner together. for now, you'll just keep retelling the stories of any wuxia novels you could remember with as much drama as you could manage.

"oh, Great Leader! I thought you'd never-!" you're cut off by a resounding howl from the other side of the camp. the wolves around you, recently enraptured in the climax of your story, locked onto the sound immediately, bounding towards the fray without a backwards glance.

god you hoped that was your monkey, because if that was something else you were probably so fucked. at least your toes were warm by the fire?

the destined one tore through bodies like sharp wind through the trees, his staff battering flesh until it dissipated into black ash. he was going to find you, and it was going to cost any wolf guai in his way their life.

you recognised the familiar battle cries the second you heard them, slumping against the log in unquestioning relief. your monkey was here and without a doubt going to make sure you were safe.

the chitters and howls and screeches drew nearer, your heart pounding just a little faster every time you heard his familiar cry. he was more vocal than usual, actually.

one lone wolf scampered into the small clearing with a limp and a nasty snarl, freshly bloodied teeth sickening against the encroaching dark of the evening. your heart leapt to your throat, it's not that you haven't seen a sinister grin like that before, but because your monkey had always been beside you when you'd seen bared teeth. suddenly, it sets in just how safe you felt with him around.

your lips wobble just a little as the wolf's eyes find yours, your eyes sting with tears as it stalks towards you. it's not death you're afraid of, but the brief thought you'd never see the destined one again.

but the wolf is felled in a single hard strike, hard enough to knock the thing across the clearing and into a tree trunk with a morbid crunch of bones before it fell apart into dust.

you looked up, relieved at the sight of the destined one quickly making his way towards you, slightly bloodied as he was. you let out a sigh of relief, letting your shoulders come down from around your ears.

"hey, I was just getting to the good part." you smiled.

he dropped to his knees beside you, staff falling to the floor with a thud. you opened your mouth, about to ask after him, but were pulled into his chest by strong arms before you could.

stunned for a brief moment, your eyes widened. it wasn't that he was touch averse, but he seemed to have manners that always put a bit of physical distance between you two.

now, you could feel the hair on your head move, caught in his fur as he buried his face into your temple - your own forehead tucked into the crook of his collarbone, feeling the warmth of his rushing blood. his arms tightened and surprisingly, you felt a minute shake rock his shoulders.

your eyebrows pinched and you, sadly, pushed him away. his arms resisted, but gave way for you - who just wanted to see if he was okay.

utter relief was splayed out on his face. your jaw dropped at the sight of the watery glisten streaked down his cheeks, trailing into his fur, but you composed yourself.

one hand slipping from the (actually pretty poorly tied) rope and finding his face, your thumb stroking away the fresh tears, you spoke softly, "hey, hey, I'm okay. you got me, I'm safe."

his hand, larger than your own, covered yours. you sat in front of him, unharmed, and the enormity of his want to never lose you again hit him like an avalanche. he grinned widely as he pressed your hand further into his face, another tear slipping from his eyes as he closed them to bask in your warmth.

you were stretched awkwardly, but you made no attempts to move. both too afraid to break the moment of near uncharacteristic vulnerability, and wanting to stay in his arms just a little longer.

"so," you nod your head to the still-roaring campfire, "waste not want not? how about we have dinner?"

his shoulders slumped as he opened his eyes, a warm smile settling on his lips as warmer eyes settled on your own. he huffed through his nose, amused by you. he looked more expressive than before, more relaxed too.

"are you gonna untie me or am I gonna have to figure out how to help with dinner one-handed?" you tease, and he straightens like a board. a bashful look overtaking his face when you tease further, "or maybe you like the look of it too much to take the rope off?"

you snicker as a very flustered monkey starts to untangle you.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

inspired by @s0rr3l 's art of pretty monkey crying (very cool, very expressive!!)

hope you like it! *drops this and runs*

[call-me-pup2]