#But yeah tldr: i really do feel you anon and i’m sorry :(

[fight-nights-at-freddys]

So i discovered mouthwashing, the game

The game is really beauitful, and complex and really harrowing but the mouthwashing fandom is so utter rancidly garbage i never felt so mentally drained on my life because of a fandom...i had to distance myself from it after interacting with it like FOUR days

Like fans on Twitter and TikTok is damn rude and disrespectful as hell

yeah fandom is really dead at this point

.. damn i really loved that game now i feel really alone

NO BUT I FEEL YOU 100%

i have a lot i love about that game, i love how artsy it can get, i love how contained it is (if that makes sense??) every single character is necessary for the story, if you added or subtracted, it just wouldn’t be the same.

Same could be said with the dialogue, every single scene holds a purpose, it never lingers on too long nor do you feel like it’s lacking in interaction, even tho i wish there was more Anya and Swansea scenes or even Daisuke and Anya, it doesn’t feel like the game is worse without them, nor would be better with them.

and JIMMY OMG, the way they portray him is fantastic, its not just some boring “he’s an awful person!! He’s a monster” he actually has DEPTH AND IS PORTRAYED AS HUMAN.

and the fandom takes all of that and boils it down to “i feel bad for people who draw/write Jambalaya :(“ or “Daisuke and Swansea are so father/son coded!!” and if you disagree or look any deeper, suddenly you’re the bad person.

they always say “this fandom isn’t for fun” when talking about shippers or even simps, but when it comes to things they find funny or enjoyable, its okay. Its double standards: the fandom. And if you don’t like it, well then you have bad morals ig??

i’ve gotten into many fights on tiktok abt it, and i’ve seen constant hate for those who fit outside of others comfort zones. Its okay to not like smth, theres ships I don’t like in MW, yet, thats when you scroll away and just ignore it.

its worse on your mental health when you actively engage with things you don’t like/that make you uncomfortable. Which is why I’ve blocked people and been getting into less fights abt this stuff, and I respect that you’ve also taken a step back even tho it sucks.

you shouldn’t hate fandom, fandom shouldn’t be policing ppl and become so weirdly authoritarian to a point where every time you claim to like a character, you have to put a big warning saying “I DO NOT CONDONE THEIR ACTIONS IRL” because thats a given in fiction.

[polaris-likethestar]

making a part two to a previous post i made where i complained about the whole lesbian representation thing (once again so sorry for the long post, ima put a TLDR at the end) i saw on one of @holyblanchett ‘s asks someone mentioned that a show about middle aged women dealing with their trauma really started to stray away from that storyline, and how the story of sisterhood got pushed aside just to focus on the agatha/billy mentor/student storyline and i couldn’t agree more

also i know that this tackles some controversial as fuck topics and i know i’m gonna have people disagreeing with me and i realize i def could’ve said all of this in a better way but honestly, the anon really got me thinking and now i’m just even more pissed and this needs to be said (and ofc this is js my opinion)

anyways, the ironic thing is, i highly doubt jac and all the other writes and directors went in thinking this way. i do not, at all, believe that this was done on purpose. i just don’t believe that. what i do think that happened is that we, as a society, are so so so used to dealing with misogyny and we’re so used to hearing that younger is better that those sort of things just kind of stuck with us, whether or not we wanted it to.

the whole motherhood storyline with agatha was heartbreaking and should not be considered as just another way of fitting her a stereotypical woman category. motherhood is a beautiful thing and this was such an integral part of agatha’s story. however, we have been so accustomed to hearing that motherhood is a must-have for women that it’s become something that several (not all) people associate with “typical female roles” which is said because plenty of women/afab people enjoy being mothers and are excited to be a mother and motherhood is a beautiful thing (side note: if you are/want to be a mother that is amazing for you and don’t think i’m saying fuck motherhood cs that’s not what this is at all)

so, for me at least, it’s not the focus on agatha’s role as a mom that pisses me off. i love how her relationship with her son shows where some of her anger stems from, i love how well they incorporated that storyline into the show. but for me, it’s the that fact that motherhood is literally one of the biggest female stereotypes and like i said i don’t believe this was intentional what so ever but a story that basically says fuck stereotypes is being so stereotypical. like i said it sucks

and i know they did this to play into the whole maiden mother crone thing which was such a prominent thing in the show but still it doesn’t feel fair

also the whole “lesbian romance getting lowk pushed aside for a gay boy” thing co-insides with the whole “accidental sexist depections of womenhood situation” like i said before, we are so used to hearing that younger is better and billy is just that - young and he’s a boy. (i really really need to specify: no hate towards joe locke what so ever i truly mean it fuck u if ur hating he had nth to do with the writing and he does not deserve any hate)

so, yeah, like i said this probably could’ve been written better and i do believe any of this is one persons fault, no hate to ANY of the creators or cast they’re all amazing people and ultimately this show has been a huge step up when it comes to representation and has progressed so so much from so many other disney projects and shows and movies but still, this is js smth that bugged me sm and i rly felt it needed to be addressed in length cs this is js the same story, different show and i hate how accustomed society has become to stuff like this.

TLDR: people have become so used to gender roles and the idea that younger is better that even in a show that is a huge step up on disneys part when it comes to representation, we still have so far to go and i felt like this needed to be addressed but ultimately no hate to any of the cast or creators

[lilacxquartz]

kindaaaa curious o3o is there a reason why you go for darker - scarier characters? or make them to be so evil? this is nothing wrong btw! i am the exact same way - i would like to have more insight why we are the way we are. >< is it trauma related? for me it is. or is it because we are just both formerly weird kids who now have access to an imagination we both try to understand through art and words? english is not my first language sorry @_@~~~

why hello there anon, i’ll try to explain this as thoroughly as possible! i’ll cut off this ramble into a line break though, because i’ll be talking about some not so pretty subjects. tw for that reason

tw tw tw tw tw

on the prospect of it being related to trauma, it’s very likely. i had a rough childhood due to abusive parents, so for a good chunk of it, i isolated myself and became extremely chronically online because it was a good coping mechanism. i got really into anime, creepy pasta, twitch, gaming & things like that because they were my escapisms and now even though i’m in my twenties, i still have that same personality bc that’s what shaped me instead of idk, a “normal” social experience.

but essentially all of my comfort characters that i started to obsess over were never once normal to start with. we had pyramid head, the joker, bill cipher, specifically medic from tf2, misa amane & some others, who i now forgot.

going to college partially fixed that because i opened myself up to other weird people similar to me, but unfortunately created a whole new traumatic experience because i got sexually assaulted. ):

so now we enter the new stage of life: navigating my trauma through cReAtiViTy !! and like, it does help a lot. for the first time in my life, i have a place to finally put all of those bad thoughts into a thing that doesn’t actually hurt me for once.

to be clear, i don’t support toxic behaviours and abusive relationships at all, but writing about those things does help me self reflect a little and understand myself more, which my therapist actually encourages, so sure, let’s keep doing that. i do know however that this isn’t for everyone though; such as the repeating fanfic with dark themes and the recurring hurt/no comfort stories, but personally, it does help. idk.

so this all ties back to the types of characters i like and how i utilise their personalities in producing fiction. currently i’m very into sukuna, geto, mahito & kenjaku which are all… very… yeah, um. lacking in the moral compass department. i just figure that they’re already kinda insane or just like bad/evil, in general, so i can use them to explore darker feelings but also twist all that into comfort when i need it (which is when you’ll catch me writing fluff).

i do see this level of coping get criticised on tumblr and tiktok pretty often though, but ah well, it is what it is. i’m getting help for my stuff irl which is a step in the right direction & otherwise regardless of what i write and how i write it, i try to at least make my blog a safe space for people who might feel similar in seeking out such content.

tldr: it’s all trauma’s fault and it’s nice to play pretend with morally depraved characters because they’re not real. 😮‍💨

[homeless202]

I’m new here and I absolutely love your type of blogs with analysis and meta and long texts~~

I was wondering—is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship the kind that could be interpreted as romantic?

first of all, welcome and ty! and sorry it took me so long to reply, i hope u're still around anon. now to answer ur question

i'll take this opportunity to share all my thoughts on the topic bc i have Many.

TLDR: it is possible to read it as romantic if you really want to, but it's not meant to (at least not as of right now in the story aka ch.224)

deep dive under the cut as to why

-> can Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship be interpreted as romantic?

i like how you phrased that bc, the thing is, interpretation is very subjective. you're welcome and allowed to interpret things however you want, but in EY&HJ's case, i feel like you'd have to work a lil extra hard to get to that point.

-> is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship meant to be interpreted as romantic?

this one's easy bc no. objectively Not. the genre of No Home is drama and slice of life (and once upon a time, horror). even if they were to ever end up in a romantic relationship, that's not what the story is about.

when i ask myself what the author's intention is with this story, i'd say it's to (realistically) portray how a young person with trauma would navigate another young person's trauma. and showing how easy it is to unintentionally fuck it up for various reasons: lacking context as to what exactly said trauma is, generally not knowing how to navigate it, their own trauma getting in the way, lacking the necessary resources. take your pick.

think of it like "how should i carry someone else's baggage when i have my own to deal with?" while also keeping in mind they're kids; they often don't have enough experience to know how to help, and even when they know what the right thing to do is, they're not old enough to take (legal) action.

and especially, the most heart-breaking yet realistic thing, when you're just getting to know someone, you can't know everything about them. it's so easy to accidentally do or say sth that cuts or offends when it wasn't meant to. but when they've got their own issues, it's hard not to take it personally (eg. EY talking about HJ's parents without knowing his mom died not long ago in the beginning of the story).

-> what even is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship??

this one's so funny bc i have no idea how to answer and i'm convinced not even EY and HJ themselves would know how to answer. they're not really friends; they got off on the wrong foot and kept walking with two left feet way too much to call themselves friends. the things that pushed them together the most were the dorms (not anymore) and the same friend group (more or less since EY has multiple).

what fits them best i'd say is "the universe forced us together against our will and now we're stuck with one another altho we hate each other" (<- at least in the beginning) extended with the "misery loves company" sentiment. finding comfort in someone who gets it, even tho they only kinda get it but not really but it works out anyway except it doesn't <- THERE'S NO NAME FOR THAT *cry* they invented a new type of character dynamic smh (i've never read a pairing with so much (romantic) potential only to see them completely fuck up their chance so royally by the end of their interaction EVERY SINGLE TIME. like yeah, enemies to lovers whatever BUT NOT TO THAT LEVEL HOLY SHIT)

they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. they're compatible in the way they understand each other on a deeper level and incompatible in the way they don't.

...however...

this is how HJ thinks of EY: (and also what No Home is truly abt)

and this is how EY feels about HJ after EY found out HJ used to steal as well (aka that HJ isn't perfect like the stuck up bitch EY thought he was at first):

so...

<- -> EY's first impression of HJ was that he was looking down on him and sth like "does this guy have ulterior motives? or is he just that naive being so trusting?" until EY found out HJ wasn't that different from him. after that, EY started admiring HJ for still managing to achieve things in life despite the hardships he had to go through. the type of admiration that can easily (and sometimes does) slip into envy.

-

since the beginning, EY has helped HJ (or at least tried to) without him knowing. sometimes it worked out, sometimes not. most times EY tried doing sth nice for HJ was (from EY's perspective) in return to HJ trying to help him or doing nice things for him (which, again, sometimes worked out, sometimes not). EY was just paying back a debt to "this stubborn naive guy who keeps getting into trouble and butting into his business. gotta look out for this idiot or he might get scammed." (<- eg. when EY offered to get HJ's money back from his uncle)

he doesn't do it for credit or friendship or out of obligation, he's just doing what he thinks is the right thing bc he doesn't want to owe anyone anything. he can't accept people just genuinely being kind, genuinely caring and genuinely wanting to help. but he's been learning and slowly coming to terms with it.

-

<- -> HJ first wanted to try befriending EY despite not liking him bc, well, the guy did steal his wallet and stab him in their first interaction. after trying and failing at it multiple times, thanksgiving happened, and HJ started thinking of EY as his underclassman bc he realized EY's just a kid with issues and he should keep an eye on him (discretely bc EY hates pity).

-

with time HJ has come to understand EY better by going after him whenever he ran off and slowly realized that EY does mean well and has his reasons (as fucked up as they might be sometimes). but his mentality abt EY is still "i gotta push him in the right direction cuz he's my underclassman and i unintentionally got attached to him (somehow??)" (also bc he knows EY already gave up on himself so he needs a lil help to find his way again. also also bc he knows EY is lowkey suicidal and he's scared it'll be his fault if sth happens) <- his care for EY comes from a protective/nurturing (/possibly maybe guilty) place which started when he realized EY was just a kid^^. in other words, HJ still bothers with EY out of a subconscious sense of responsibility/obligation in a way (a good way tho. or at least a way that gets better)

see, sth i struggle with is if HJ thinks he has to or wants to or thinks he should or can't just not help/care for EY. i can't exactly pinpoint where the sentiment is coming from. his face is too blank for me to read sometimes T_T

-

to summarize: HJ is EY's goal, what EY wishes he could've been. and EY is HJ's 'responsibility' so to speak (bc 'burden' doesn't quite fit since HJ is there for EY willingly) -> EY has a positive opinion of HJ while HJ has a neutral opinion of EY (which is also gradually getting better)

note1: i think HJ's intention (maybe subconsciously) was to be to EY what HJ's upperclassman was to him. aka someone who's there when you need it and can help guide you. it would explain why HJ kept chasing after EY despite not really having a reason to and EY repeatedly rejecting HJ's care/help.

note2: i also believe the 'upper-under-classman' relationship dynamic fits them the best atm bc it also matches the way the story often singles EY out as he's the only second year (aka younger) of the 6 MCs.

-> Romance in No Home?

another thing i should mention is that No Home rarely leaves things open for interpretation. the deepest arguments EY&HJ had were always spelled out for us, to make us understand exactly what the problem was, and how there isn't a good guy and a bad guy. it's just two people with issuesTM.

from what we've seen in the story up to this point, i couldn't pick out a moment where i'd go "here! that's romantic! that's the moment they realized SomeThing!" yk

when it comes to romance specifically, i feel like a handful of opportunities were missed. there are scenes which could've easily been written trough a rosy lens but simply weren't.

exhibit A:

HJ was speechless bc "wow this mf really is actively picking a fight with an authority figure. i gotta make sure things don't escalate" not bc "hoLY sHiT hE's PreTTy. all his fangirls are on to something". however, this only becomes more clear when you keep reading the next few chapters, so i understand how you could interpret it as the latter.

exhibit B:

here they got so close and the moment was so deep bc "woaa he said he believes me. no one's said to me that before!". unfortunately, EY was panicking too much for it to mean something bc of the guilt he felt for HJ trusting someone so undeserving of trust like EY.

exhibit C:

this is maybe the closest we got to romantic between these two. i think this might be the only (or at least first) ever deep interaction between them that didn't end in a fight or misunderstanding. is it meant to be romantic tho? -> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-> what do i think?

first, full transparency: i went into reading this story fully expecting it to be a BL and for EY&HJ to end up together. but the more i kept on reading, the more i got the ick thinking about them being in a (romantic) relationship bc, at least from what we've seen so far in the story, their relationship would be so ToxicTM (which i personally don't enjoy reading).

as they are right now, i wouldn't want them to be together like that. like, honestly, you still can't really consider these two even friends; they just tolerate each other if the stars align correctly (altho, i'll admit, their relationship is gradually getting better!!). every big argument they had i thought "god, there's no coming back from that. i'd cut ties so quickly if was them wtf". i still don't know how they managed to keep on interacting, props to them ig.

there's a lot of unresolved issues between them. and a lot of resentment which would not bode well in a romantic relationship. the smallest argument would turn explosive and they'd be, at best, in an on&off type of relationship. they both have the power to break the other and neither would be afraid to use it. they have a lot of history together, which is not always pleasant, so if they ever were to go the romantic route, it would have to be a long way to go.

technically, i could see them in a romantic relationship if they both went to therapy first and talked out all the baggage they're carrying (both individual and shared). realistically tho, what i think will happen at the end of No Home is that either they never cross paths again after high school ends (which would absolutely break my heart Wanan pls don't), or they somehow (unintentionally) end up living together bc they both desperately needed a roommate to pay rent (which would be a hilarious fucking gag LMAO). just, HJ going to uni/work and EY doing his own thing (prolly an actor) while still cohabiting together; hanging out to watch a movie before bed <- (whether platonic or romantic being left up for interpretation)

<- -> in conclusion, from what we've seen up to this point, their relationship is mainly upper-under-classman; reluctant (maybe) friends who tolerate each other but also care (too) deeply. they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. in some ways they're compatible and in others they're not.

all this being said, their relationship is improving and romance between EY&HJ is not impossible, just rather unlikely imo. but, again, interpretation is subjective and u're welcome to read their relationship however you want.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hello sex witch

this might be long and ramble a bit but i’ll try to keep it succinct. 

so i’ve always thought that the concept of polyamory and having multiple partners sounded nice in the abstract, i don’t really date a lot so it hasn’t come up but i figured it was sort of a thing that most people would be open to or like the idea of (like me). this was until today when i saw someone objecting to the notion of being in a throuple or polyamorous relationship. i didn’t know that was a thing people did. i just thought we all wanted to date lots of people if given the opportunity. the fact that the other people in the couple were a man and a woman didn’t deter me. i’m now considering the fact that i might not be quite as heterosexual as previously assumed. 

when i considered sexuality before it was always a clear cut “yeah girls because i know i like girls” and also maybe that sex with dick seemed sort of weird, but upon further consideration it might just be that i think all sex is sort of weird. 

and now i’m not sure what to do about this, i don’t think that experimenting with people is right because i would feel so shit about it because they’re people and also the fact that i have some strong anxiety about sex in general. someone seeing my naked body makes me feel a little sick. and also i’ve never had sex so don’t really know how sexual attraction is supposed to feel or what i would do with myself if the occasion (sex) was to arise. i feel sort of similar / the same when thinking about sex with both men and women. 

i’m unsure if it’s all a desire for close male friendship or if i might be a little gay. 

tldr i might be polyamorous and attracted to men after a good 19 years of staunchly Not Thinking About It. would appreciate advice or help. 

i guess this isn’t as much a question as more of a asking for advice. this might not even be in your wheelhouse considering the sort of tangential connection to sex. sorry if not

hey anon,

boy, this one is a real buffet. it's legitimately very hard to decide where to start with this, but I'm going to do my best.

let's get this one out of the way first and foremost: if you're into guys that's totally fine. love that for you. if sex with men is something you ever want to explore I would encourage thinking bigger than the stigma that's currently associated with "experimenting." it has a very dehumanizing connotation, but there's no reason that trying out a new kind of sex has to be a cold or impersonal experience! it's fine to approach someone, either via the apps or in real life (honestly! the latter is better!) and be up-front about what your interests and intent are. people have sex without intending to form long-term partnerships all the time; it's literally fine and a thing that many people enjoy doing. so, like, this is my endorsement for respectful, mutually-informed experimentation lmao.

but hey, listen: I don't think that having sex with men is actually, like, a pressing issue for you, based on everything else you've told me here. it doesn't sound like sex is really a huge part of your life, and honestly that's great! it doesn't seem like sex would be great for you right now! can I point to some reasons why?

i think all sex is sort of weird

i have some strong anxiety about sex in general

someone seeing my naked body makes me feel a little sick

[I] don’t really know how sexual attraction is supposed to feel or what i would do with myself if the occasion (sex) was to arise

all of these are, like, perfectly fine things to feel, and also they are pretty good indicators that it's probably for the best that you're not having sex right now. genuinely I do Not do this lightly, because I have a whole thing in my FAQ about not wanting to tell other people their orientations, but has the possibility occurred to you that you might not experience sexual attraction at all? you can like people of all kinds of genders but not want to have sex with them.

let's maybe just take sex off the table altogether while we explore this "maybe you're a little gay" thing, alright? because it seems like that's just going to stress you out a needless amount. what if instead of thinking about having sex with guys, you give some thought to dating guys, forming romantic connections, doing things together that aren't having sex. would you date a guy? I mean, hell, would you date a girl? would you date anyone? does that sound good to you? it's nice to actually interrogate these things; the worst thing that can happen is that you get to know yourself a little more clearly.

you can date and love people without ever having sex with them. does that sound fun for you?

this is the most important thing: you're not under, like, any obligation to figure this out immediately or even soon. take your time, you know? there's no correct timeline for this and self-discovery is perpetual.

also hey listen this one isn't, like, bad and I'm certainly not addressing it as a problem but PLEASE I have to know where you grew up that you didn't realize that most people are actually not polyamorous. are you perhaps the spawn of the greater Seattle area polycule?

[quietwingsinthesky]

In your opinion, is it worth watching Supernatural if you missed the superwholock craze and your only exposure has been meta posts

my darling anon, i’m a supernatural fan, i’m going to say yes. BUT. with caveats. one; depends on the meta you’ve been exposed to, because if you’ve been told by tumblr gifs it’ll be an epic love story between that dude and his angel, i’m so sorry to disappoint you but that’s not what the show is about. but if the meta you’ve gotten is about the actual themes of the show, go right ahead.

(to be clear, like, there’s still stuff to dig into for destiel. i just wouldn’t want you to go in expecting a romcom in a horror story.)

CAVEAT TWO: you gotta understand that supernatural is really like 5 or 6 shows in a trenchcoat building on top of one another. like s1-3 are pretty solidly their own show, cut down early by the writer’s strike and even delineated nicely by being filmed on. film. rather than digitally. s4-5 are their own thing. s1-5 are their own complete arc, and honestly, you can just watch that and have a pretty good time with some genuinely fantastically put together television. and then after that s6 is kinda its own thing, 7-8 too, 9-11, and then 12-15 i just lump together as Bad but im sure someone else would actually classify them by arc or whatever.

okay god we’re putting a cut now im not gonna shut up im sorry

i think more people should watch s1-5 of supernatural. it’s silly, it’s scary, it’s full of fucked up shit and things that will mess you up for life (affectionate). and then i say watch the rest until you don’t enjoy it and then drop it. don’t feel obligated to watch all 15 cause it loses the plot Fast and it also. gets bad. like if you want my rec, i say stick it out till s11 and then if you can stand it, s12 for [SPOILER] coming back to life. but i would never in my life tell anyone to watch s13-15 unless they had literally nothing left to do and a gun to their head. i watched it but im not a good role model.

uhhh what else should you know. oh, yeah, there’s a lot of references to non-con/rape in it, some of them the show takes seriously and some it’ll play for laughs with some 2010s era misogyny. there’s also a lot of moments that, depending on how charitable you feel like being, are either poorly thought out or straight out racist or homophobic. the show does very little to address its misogyny, homophobia, or racism until it gets put down like a dog behind a shed. i’m telling you this to prepare you for it, because i think engaging with the show is still worth something, especially if you take the time to entangle those elements and examine how the writers have used them to justify a world in which two white guys roll into town, kill a scary monster with extrajudicial justice to save the suburban families, and leave.

and then, of course, if u watch it you can also come yell at me about it :3

uhm. but seriously. supernatural is a complicated show. but it’s worth watching. there’s a lot of good in there with the bad. the way it approaches angels and heaven in the early seasons especially is so fucking fascinating, so if you like religious stuff at all, i’d say go in for it. the acting can be. well. the main guys range from ‘holy shit this is stressing me out to watch it’s so good’ to ‘okay’ to ‘jesus fucking christ please get the camera off of him.’ (and if you watch the show, i’ll let you guess which is which lmao.) but a lot of the people who come in to play side characters kill it in their roles. shout out to jdm. there for like 3 episodes purely to fuck me up forever. lifechanging performance, i’m so serious.

tldr: supernatural is genuinely a good show, for a while, and when it ain’t, it’s still fun, and when it stops being that, just put the show down. just keep your expectations in check regarding what the show is telling you it’s about and don’t expect it to be more. (like. feel free to fantasize about what if it Was more, i sure do, but don’t let that cloud your vision on what the show, as it stands, really is about and is trying to say.) and be prepared for the messy shit it’ll hit you with along the way.

and the fandom is pretty neat too, so long as you use the block button liberally <3

[karlie-what-you-want]

I'm going to try to word this correctly, because I'd like your take and I don't want my point to be misconstrued. The tldr is: I'm kinda bummed 1989 TV is such a commercial success. Here's the long of it. 1989 was my favorite album for a long long time and I was of course, excited to check out the vault. But I feel like these numbers are based on hype, not on product. Which is... fine, commercially speaking. Go girl, make those dollars. But... the result is a receipe. What perfomed the best for a long time is a record that was heavily branded by a stunt with a boy(band). What has now performed the best was a re record dropped in the middle of a tour that was completely overshadowed by the boybranding again. I feel like the rush was a mix of weird Haylor gossip thirst, football dude easter egg hunt, return of girlsquad branding... I admit, it stings that 1989 TV didn't even get a promo interview, a music video, or anything. (No, but we didn't forget the merch drops, tho!!) And it makes me sad, because... folklore, man. That had ZERO hype. Bam. There. And we ate that shit up. We loved THE MUSIC. I want the wild ride to be the music. And 2023 feels like Taylor has fully retreated inside the Taylor Swift TM persona and we're buying the TS Brand, not Taylor's music. What I was hoping for was: more 1989 vibes on vault songs, more "directed by Taylor Swift" creative expressions. What I got was: Ken and Barbie on tour. I'm sorry this is kinda rambly. I know anon asks don't take into account line breaks so this will be even more confusing. But. Yeah. I'm just a bit bummed out and I was wondering if anyone else was a bit disapointed, too? I mean. I genuinely don't know. Do people enjoy the soap opera and I'm the only one who's only turning up to check out the shoes Taylor wore in candids and for her artistic expression? Maybe I'm the weirdo. The market certainly seems to say I'm not in the majority.

Hi Anon 💕

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way, and I can absolutely relate! It can be really difficult to separate the stunts from the music on a mental and emotional level. It’s something I still struggle with occasionally, and when the music is something so personal to you, of course you can feel protective or even disappointed when the PR goes off the rails. That is completely valid!

It saddens me that any fan would feel the shine of Taylor’s actual work has been dulled by the PR schemes.

I, too, am surprised that we haven’t seen any music video for 1989 TV yet, but I’m also not completely convinced that the book has been closed on that front. Let’s wait together in hopeful anticipation 🤞

I don’t blame you at all for how you are feeling, but I think in times like these, the most helpful thing for me is to draw that mental boundary—whether it’s a boundary between the music and the PR, or myself and the PR. Sometimes, I just don’t check the news, or I scroll away quickly if I happen to see something. These stunts are a lot, so when I feel myself becoming overwhelmed, I really try to shut down my mournful thoughts with a “NOPE! That’s not good for me right now” and then scroll away, or shut my phone off, or turn on Taylor’s actual music instead.

I am in love with 1989 TV. I’ve had it on repeat since it dropped, and hearing the vault tracks especially makes me so happy. I feel like there’s a real story there—things we didn’t get to see when the album originally came out. I have to imagine that even now, there’s so much happening behind the scenes that we can’t know. I’m just grateful for the chance to peek a little farther behind the curtain for a period of time that was very special for the T Swift community.

Lastly, regardless of the PR stunts, this drop has been huge for Taylor. Perhaps we’ll never know for sure whether that’s because people have come flocking for her music itself or they’ve grown curious due to the over the top PR, but I have a feeling that Taylor doesn’t care much either way. I think she’s at peace with the way she gets her attention, because at the end of the day, people ARE listening to her music. If they saw her at a football game cheering on some meathead and got curious enough to check out 1989 TV, what they will discover is a woman with great intelligence, a depth of emotion, and an insane amount of talent. That is just to say, it will always be her music and talent that shines in the end.

I’m reminded of YOYOK, where Taylor sings I looked around in a blood-soaked gown and I saw something they can’t take away.

No amount of stunts or bad PR (or good PR!) will change her undeniable talent. Even better that 1989 is truly Taylor’s now. I just find it comforting that regardless of how people find Taylor or why they first buy her music, they will get to enjoy it for the beautiful work of art that it always is.

Sending love, anon! You are not alone in your feelings, I promise 💚💛💜❤️🩵🖤🩷🩶🤎💙

[miralines]

Before I say anything, I just want to inform you that I just randomly came across your post browsing the discourse tag for something else. I don't know who you are nor what's happening with ao3 users here. I don't know if you wanted a deep(ish)dive into someone's thoughts and reasons for choosing fics based on kudos and hits ratio, but 100% ignore if you didn't! Sorry if I am intruding by doing this!

I come from multiple giant fandoms and when there are multiple fic choices with tags and summaries that I like, I do choose to go by kudos and hits ratio. Just to pick which one to check out first. I did notice however, that in smaller fandoms or tags this couldn't be applied because there's not enough fics, so I just read what I'm interested in most.

Why? Kudos signify how enjoyed the fic is to me, because usually the more kudos it has the more talked about it is on other platforms. Why would that be important? It's just that I enjoy exploring content made by others after I'm up to date with a fic. It's really fun to see people talk, theorize, make art and speculate or scream over things that will or did happen. It's giving me an opportunity to find people with similar interests and see what they make overall!

Sometimes though, if fic in a fandom or a tag that's incredibly popular gets hundreds of hits and very few kudos, I choose not to read it. This is based on a few bad experiences I had giving those fics a chance, where something in them made me uncomfortable or hard to read. I don't have any very specific needs when I'm reading fics, I just enjoy reading as a part of enjoying the fandom, so when I see the general readers avoid giving kudos in fandoms where it's very usual to have a lot on fics, I don't want to read that fic for my enjoyment.

I really don't know much about this, I'm sorry! But yeah, I basically use kudos to hits ratio to oriantate myself and avoid something I wouldn't like based on previous correlations I made. I don't know if that's wrong or upsetting for others, but if you find it that way, I would like to know why too and improve! Sorry for any grammatical mistakes I made!

Oh hi anon! I wasn’t expecting anyone to reach out like this, but thank you for taking the time to write out your thoughts! (Also. Please do not feel the need to apologize for grammatical mistakes. I do not believe in ‘correct’ grammar; as long as I understood you, which I did, I think you’re absolutely fine and using language as it’s intended!) (I am. A particular kind of nerd and not policing grammar is something I have Opinions about hence this tangent lmao)

This got terribly long, so I’ve put a tldr above the cut and divided the rest under headers for ease of reading.

Tldr: I see your points with regard to differences between large and small fandoms, and with the specific goal of finding “sub-fandoms” for particular fics. I still disagree that kudos-to-hits ratio is the best way to decide what fics to read, both because it isn’t an accurate metric of engagement and because I dislike the idea of using engagement as the primary metric in the first place. When I use A03, I prefer to sort by what’s recent and use the tags and summary to decide what to read, or to use the (excellent) search function to find what I’m looking for specifically.

I’d also like to note to anyone else reading: I doubt this will be an issue, but if anyone is rude to anon I’m going to turn off reblogs on this post. I know this is something some people feel strongly about, and discussion is fine, but this is absolutely not worth being mean to another human about.

Size of fandom

To begin my more thorough response: This is an interesting perspective– not one I entirely agree with, but I can certainly see how in larger fandoms with a lot more content it would be valuable to be more selective. For context, my main fandom is an obscure storytelling band with under 3k total works on A03, and these days I mostly occupy a niche of that fandom (one specific album) with only 128 works. The largest fandom I’ve been active in currently has 37k works on A03.

I don’t know what your fandoms are, but as some examples of bigger fandoms, Star Trek currently has over 100k works, Supernatural has almost 300k, and Harry Potter has nearly 500k. That is a big difference! I’m currently working on a goal to read every fic in my 128-fic niche (with some exclusion criteria), but in larger fandoms it’s impossible not to be selective. This is all to say– I definitely agree with you that the size of a fandom impacts how a person can and does interact with it.

Fans of fics

Your point about wanting to interact with other fans of a particular fic also makes sense! There was a particular fic series in my largest fandom that had a pretty decent following, and I still have friends from that sub-fandom several years later. If this metric helps you find fics that match your goal of having that experience, I can see how the kudos-to-hits ratio could function as a potentially useful metric, though I still think its usefulness is a bit limited for reasons I’m about to go into.

Kudos-to-hits isn’t accurate

I have two reasons for thinking that kudos-to-hits ratio isn’t the best way to determine what to read. The first is purely numerical. If you’ve been watching this discourse, you’ve probably already seen people discussing how users can only leave a single kudos, but may be responsible for 20-plus hits on a work. This is especially applicable to multichapter works, which in my experience are the fics that are able to develop their own following. If you want to sort fics by engagement, it seems like at the very least, using comments for the ratio is a more accurate measurement.

Using engagement as a metric at all

Secondly, though, I (and I believe, a lot of people) dislike the notion of using engagement as a metric to measure fics in the first place. I think the current discourse is partially due to some regrettable phrasing on the part of the OP of the post I was vaguing– if I recall correctly, they said that they use this metric to determine if a fic is “worth reading”. I think this phrasing was hurtful to a lot of fic writers who may not have large followings or a lot of engagement, but who work very hard on their fics and feel frustrated that this person implied that they aren’t worth reading. I have fics that are personal favorites of mine, but that I haven’t gotten a lot of feedback on.

Of course, this is just part of writing, and it’s an important skill for any writer (of fic or anything else) to learn to handle rejection or just lack of feedback. But I also think that particular post was phrased in a thoughtless way that interacted poorly with pre-existing insecurities (this is part of why I suggested that post was bait– the phrasing seems to me like a perfect storm to make writers upset and defensive, but of course this could also be due to the OP just being a bit careless with their words, and not expecting to have hit quite nerve they did).

There’s an excellent post here on engagement on fics and what a realistic assessment of “successful” engagement metrics are based on professional standards (which includes a stat about how Harry Styles, one of the most popular and successful current celebrities, only gets a 1:30 ratio of likes to views on his social media. I don’t know what ratio you’re using, but iirc the post I was discussing suggested 1:10). Personally, though, I worry about both authors and readers depending too much on statistics, especially in a broader cultural context when it feels like everything is performed, measured, and monetized. Most social media platforms have gone from a place to share with friends to a place to compete for attention and make money and fame off it. There’s a lot of cultural anxiety around that at the moment, which is another reason I think this discussion has gotten so big.

Why I disagree with using engagement

I think this discussion, at its heart, is a debate about what fandom should be, and I feel focusing overmuch on engagement statistics contributes to a fandom culture uncomfortably close to the commercialization of everything else on the internet. I feel that fic should be enjoyed as art (whatever art means) and not as a product. I’m not saying you’re personally approaching fic that way, but unfortunately there does seem to be something of a broader trend towards that, which troubles me.

As a writer, I would hope that when people come across my fic, they give it a chance based on the metatext information I give them in the tags and summary, the quality of my writing, and whether my work matches what the reader is looking for. Judging it based on the numbers feels reductive to me, and makes me feel like nothing about the work or passion I put in matters; just the popularity. My fics aren’t going to be for everyone, and I understand that. If someone comes across my fic and decides they’re not interested, that’s their prerogative. But I hope that potential readers don’t discount my work just because it doesn’t meet a numerical standard that, in my opinion, is extremely arbitrary.

My suggestions for what to do instead

As a reader, I default to sorting by what’s been posted recently, and then using the tags and summary to decide what to read. That’s what those things are designed to be used for, and I think they’re much more informative than the stats. Worst-case scenario, I start reading and then go back to the search. All I’ve lost is a couple minutes.

In large fandoms, this might be an inefficient way to search for fic, and I recognize that. I’d encourage you to try using A03’s (fantastic) search function to find what you’re looking for– you can both include and exclude fandoms, characters, pairings, and tags. I have come across people who don’t realize that A03 has no algorithm, and haven’t realized they need to learn to use the search function. This is understandable, given the state of most of the internet and what these (often young) fans have learned to use before, but I think learning to search and filter is a vital skill to develop. I have no idea if you’re in this boat, anon, but if you are, please check out the search. It is, in my experience, the best way to find what you’re looking for on A03, and can at the very least supplement numbers-based selection.

Conclusion

I don’t think you have a moral responsibility to stop using engagement as a way to determine what you want to read. Frankly, this isn’t that important. I don’t think you even strictly need to stop using kudos as the measure instead of comments, though I think that would be more accurate if you do prefer to sort by engagement. But I do think you could be surprised at the hidden gems you could find if you didn’t limit yourself to only reading fics with high ratios. I don’t know the nature of your bad experiences in the past, and obviously how you use A03 is up to you. But I think there are better ways to decide what to read.

Thank you again for reaching out– you’ve helped me understand the other perspective as well! I really do appreciate your explanation. I hope I’ve been as respectful as you have, and that I’ve helped you understand where writers who share my opinion are coming from. If you’d like to continue talking about this or respond to any of my points, please feel free to shoot me another ask or a message. I hope you’re doing well and that you have a nice day!

[knightofameris]

hi ames !! long time no see!

was just thinking about you :] i don’t even know if you’re going to see this or respond to this, i scrounged around to find your blog cause i think you changed your url? if i’m not mistaken? sorry if i’m wrong! it’s been a long two years and life’s been really really busy. it really catches up to you, huh?

if you do respond to this, do let me know how you are! i really loved talking to you back then, more than you know :’) how’s everything going for you? what are your interests now?

oh yeah! i still think about that haikyuu fic you once recommended me KWNDWKDJ the fly high, baby! one. i came across it the other day and thought of you—maybe that’s why i’m doing this, heh. anyways i hope you’re doing well and that you’re drinking water and making sure your pillow is cool at night :)

see you around, lovely!

<3🧸

sent in April 5th 2023

Oh my god I’ve missed you! And everyone for that matter. I just thought what the hell I’ll check my inbox for fun. I finally logged into tumblr after a long time. I’ve definitely changed my pfp from haikyuu to genshin but I don’t recall changing my URL! (I’m not even that obsessed with genshin anymore lol)

It really has been a long two years… I’ll be 23 in less than a month and it’s crazy I started this blog at 19. If you see this my lovely teddy bear anon, I hope you also tell me how you’ve been!

The last two years was a blast, I moved out, worked, paid my own way through college and rent. I graduated, granted it took five years but I did take a bit off from university! And I am more than thankful. I’m still looking for a job, I’ve since moved home but my parents can no longer hold anything against me now. I might switch career paths from what I studied but I’ll stick to what I did for at least 3 years for now. I have a boyfriend of one year (plus two months!) now and he absolutely adores when I gush about my fandoms and theories. Vice versa when he talks about his interests (mainly video games and the best I can explain which is STONKS but like for CSGO [at least currently]). Literally he’s a man written by a woman that came out of my fanfic dreams. Oh and we play games with each other sometimes and watch all the anime xD

During the past two years I was pretty burnt out I had no obsession which made me extra espresso depresso. But I’m on medication and doing a lot better that I’m able to once again be obsessed with a fandom (main: one piece. Secondary: Honkai star rail).

And that’s the tldr! Adulthood sucks but my friends and I still text and catch up when we can. And my boyfriend lives about 30 minutes away which isn’t too bad for me :3 (pre moving back home and even now that I’m back home xD)

I think about fly high baby sometimes… I still have yet to reread it cus DAMN did that hit me in the feels.

I hope you’re doing well too. I hope life is treating you in the way it should! If you see this, pls let me know how you’re doing!!! I really do think about everyone’s whose paths have crossed with mine during this journey.

Sleep well <3

[caelumsnuff]

Hi hello👋 I’m the anon from a few days ago who brought up why guy gets a lot of uploads. I just wanted to say thanks for the nice response and also I didn’t think you were attacking Erik at all for the uploads or what not. I probably just didn’t word it quite right whoops I do apologize if it came off that way. And also i think it’s so fine to critique or be a little annoyed at certain characters getting more time than others (I say this as some one who loves Guy and I absolutely see yeah he’s gotten soooo much content recently) I guess I was just saying you know when it comes to uploads like Guy or even Ollie it’s usually attached to something else going on for Erik. And I say this not in a parasocial manner because honestly I just occasionally watch the podcast and stick to the audios, but as a Erik’s just a person kinda way. I know you yourself aren’t attacking him but some have because they see him a lot as just a content machine (which I’m sure anyone in fandom has seen happen soooo many times as well as the fall out from it)

This feels kinda rambley so I hope it makes sense somewhat😂 but absolutely you’re right critiques on stuff like characters or the story line are necessary and should occur, lord knows I will scream to high heaven that I deeply want Vega to come back and have some cool development in his story. So yeah TLDR I knew you weren’t being mean or anything I just worded weird lol

oh, okay! im glad i interpretted the ask in good faith in that case!

Yeah i think some people do treat him like that, just a machine to make content. Its the dehumanization at the crossroads of a parasocial relationship and idolization of the man. It's honestly saddening, like he really is just some guy :/

Also sorry for the late response, but you did end up getting your wish about Vega coming back!!! I have yet to listen to it still, but you should tell me your thoughts on it anyways!!! 💕

[guttedwhxre]

─ 𝐒̲𝐈𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐈̲𝐍𝐆𝐒 ❞ billy loomis and stu macher

tw: insults, use of the word ‘bitch’

author’s note: tldr, is billy being a shitty bf and stu fixes the problem as always. to the anon who requested jennifer check dubcon, it’s coming soon i promise bub <3

“billy can you please let this go-” you turn from the popcorn on the stove as billy leans over the kitchen island, stu nearby in the living room with the steadily dwindling first bowl. this was the sixth time billy had brought up a fleeting conversation you’d had with a guy when leaving work today. your boyfriend had happened to see you smile at a dumb joke he had made when he came to pick you up that day and hadn’t let it go since. billy has never liked the guy, always insisted he was plotting something for some reason. billy is sneering at you, hands braced on the island as he leans in closer. 

    “i’ll let this go when you stop being such a fucking bitch-” as soon as the words leave his mouth you turn away, turning off the stove and stomping out of the kitchen. stu is turned towards you, worry on his face as he watches you grab your coat and bag for your now very abruptly cancelled sleepover and storm out the door. you refuse to let him speak to you like that. just because he’s feeling especially angsty over some nobody doesn’t mean he gets to talk to you, one of the few people who truly loves him, in that way. 

    “nice going dickhead,” as you leave stu glares at his partner, quickly standing up and moving to grab his car keys and jacket. “i’m gonna go fix this. you stay here and cool off, get over yourself, whatever the hell you have to do,” he’s out of the door before billy can even respond, jogging after you down the driveway. billy stays in the kitchen, unmoving as he watches stu head out of the door. 

    the upside to all of this, is when billy really fucks up you and stu still have each other. you feel his warm hand clasp your shoulder and you sigh, looking behind you to meet his worried blue eyes. you smile slightly and shrug as stu’s lips purse. 

    “sorry,” you say. “couldn’t stay there. not gonna cry over it either, if he wants to act up he can,” you scoff, thinking back and trying to push down whatever feelings may be welling up in your chest. 

    “hey,” stu cooes, pulling you to his chest. you go willingly, settling against him with a happy sigh. “let’s go get ice cream or booze or something,” he smiles that goofy smile. “give dickwad in there some time to calm down. up to you if you wanna get him something or not,” he leans in, whispering. “i say fuck it - he should just watch us eat and drink everything we can carry,” the blonde breaks into giggles and you can’t help but follow along, taking his hand and dragging him down the driveway to his car. once you get in he kisses you, still full of laughter and love. you go and get your ice cream and drinks, mercifully getting billy a vanilla cone and a six-pack of his favorite beer. 

    when you and stu get back the house is quiet, the movie the three of you had debated heavily about was sitting on the coffee table, accompanied by the one and a half bowl of popcorn. billy is nowhere to be seen though, and you set his six-pack down with a sigh, turning to stu is holding his own chocolate cone along with billy’s. he looks at you with one of fleeting annoyance, before calling out to the brunette.

    “billy? we’re back!’ footsteps come from the staircase. billy rounds the corner and seems to let out a sigh of relief, walking over and reaching out. he stops though, looking away, and frowning to himself. 

    “i-” he pauses. “i shouldn’t have said that, it was shitty of me,” his arms drop. “but that guy, he’s up to something babe i swear-” stu groans from behind you, shoving the vanilla cone at billy.

    “yeah, yeah, to be totally honest i kinda agree with you but we don’t call our partner a fucking ‘bitch’ over it! it’s us against the world blockhead,” you love when stu stands up for you. fighting a smile, you fold your arms and try to still appear angry. “what’s the magic words? come on, say em’ and i’m sure they’ll forgive you,” stu gestures towards you, and you lock eyes with billy. 

    “i’m…sorry. i’m sorry, okay? it was fucking stupid of me to say that, especially since you and stu are the only people i have in this world,” billy’s a pitiful sight, as you now see how red his eyes are. he runs a hand through his hair, the silence thick. 

    “you’re forgiven,” you say, nonchalantly. billy smiles, coming close to kiss all over your face and pull you to his chest. 

    “i don’t deserve it baby, really. come here stu,” stu’s face breaks out into a big grin, rushing over to crush the two of you to his chest. “stu, watch my ice cream man-” blatantly ignoring the brunette, stu brings the two of you impossibly closer while giggling uncontrollably.

    “nah. you don’t deserve it anyway.”

xoxo, babe 💋

[yokohamabeans]

Do you think any of the Tenjiku boys ever killed anyone? Beside the Haitanis I mean. Izana asked Mucho to kill for him during the Kantou Incident and Mucho didn't hesitate to try and slash Angry, then Kaku stopped him and said something about not letting Tenjiku corrupting him too soooo... Any thoughts on that?

Good day to ya Anon!!

Aside from the Haitani Bros, we've only heard about Izana driving a kid to suicide when he was 12 (Chap 173). He also apparently brutalized that kid's friends to 'the point of no recovery', so that's pretty close to killing someone too, if you ask me!

As for my headcanons/beliefs about the other Tenjiku guys - TLDR:

At the point of Tenjiku: No, I don't think any of them have killed anyone.

At the point of Rokuhara Tandai / KMG: No too, but they're probably more desensitized to the idea of manslaughter after being around South.

At the point of adulthood (In the Naoto-Got-Shot Timeline): Yeah, they've probably had a number of deaths to their names assuming they've all remained in the underworld. Honestly speaking, even in the other timelines, as long as they stuck with Izana it's likely they all became criminals (except Mucho, maybe). Kakucho, who's the most pacifistic of them all, did not hesitate in shooting Takemichi, so he's probably already used to killing people by that point. And if Kakucho's done it, I'm sure the others would have too. As for the Bonten Timeline: It's canon, they've killed many.

If you're asking me about their inclination for homicide... I think with the exception of Kakucho and Kokonoi, all of them would kill someone even at the point of Tenjiku tbh, but their feelings about / motivations and causes for killing will differ.

Mucho: Will kill out of duty / necessity + Will kill in a fit of rage (as shown with Angry). I suppose that counts as pre-meditated murder because Izana previously told him to, but I don't think he'll kill anyone for pleasure or take joy in it. I think he'll generally be rather indifferent to having killed someone actually, just seeing it as part of the job, but will likely also silently suffer some existential guilt. He doesn't strike me as someone who will mull on or regret his actions, so if he does turn over a new leaf, it'll be more like 'what's done is done, all I can do is atone for it' and not 'I wish I never stuck a knife in that guy all those years ago!!'

Mocchi: Will ACCIDENTALLY kill someone in a fight. Mocchi has been shown to have at least some moral standards so he won't want to murder anyone. (Besides, where's the fun in fighting a dead guy?) But then again, he's also pretty reckless and seems prone to losing himself in a fight (which is probably how he ended up beating a policeman up even though that's a really senseless thing to do) so I think it's possible that he may go too far with the punches. But if he does end up killing someone, he'll probably feel more guilty than the Haitani Brothers and be more emotional about it than Mucho. His first kill will probably eat him up quite a bit.

Shion: I think he will be open to the idea of killing for street cred, or THINK he is some hardass who won't hesitate to put a bullet in someone, but I see him simply just chickening out at the very last minute tbh haha. Like while raining down punches with his knuckle-dusters, he'll be like "eh?? this guy isn't moving?? Am I really gonna do it?? Am I really gonna kill this guy???" and then stop at the fatal punch and go "you're not worth it, consider this as me being merciful!!" or something haha. If driven enough he may also end up killing someone after all. I think he'll be incredulous about it and the incident may even make him even more out of control. Honestly with Shion, his head is so far up his ass that it’s hard to tell where his morals lie…. (I’m sorry Shion fans, I say this affectionately)

Because CB3 included them in Tenjiku, I'll include Sanzu / Hanma / Kisaki but there isn't much to say--these guys WILL kill and HAVE killed (except Hanma, but we all know it's just a matter of time....)

[imthepunchlord]

*endless screaming of happiness*

YOU STARTED THE DODGED A BEETLE FIC AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I’m so excited! Can you tell? 🤣

I did have a quick question (that you can totally choose to ignore, I’m more excited than anything else) - do you have any pairings in mind? I know you don’t like Adrien anymore. I think I remember reading one of your ask answers about DaB mentioning pairing Marinette with Felix? But I could be remembering wrong. If you have a pairing, would you mind revealing? Or is it too soon? Or a spoiler? Or is there no romantic pairing? That would be cool too! Sorry, I’m a romance lover at heart so I wanna know ALL THE THINGS! but also I’m just SO FREAKING HAPPY YOU’RE WRITING THIS FIC!

Like, no lie, your ML fics are my favorites. And I oftentimes wish I was in your other fandoms just so I could read and understand your other fics because I know that your mind is so amazingly creative that you’re putting all the care and love you do in ML fics into all your fics. But I’m not in those fandoms so I would have 0 idea what is going on! 😭😭😭😭

Anyway. TLDR; I’m so excited that you’re writing the DaB fic, I’m pumped see where you take it, and your writing is so freaking creative and amazing!!!! I am in constant awe of your imagination. 💜

Oh, anon, I get it. Honestly majority of fics I think of, the first thing that comes to mind is what pairing do I want to do? Yeah, I won't be doing romantic Adrienette again, but I am all for them as friends fic. But most other ships with Marinette I'm open to (minus her with her bullies like Chloe and Lila).

Either way, for DaB, I got a loose idea for pairings, but not dedicated to them as I am more focused on how Lila is a hero, what changes with her not only as a hero but also taking Alya's spot so early on. As well as giving some focus to Adrien and Marinette working off these changes.

You did read correctly that Felinette is the initial planned pairing for Marinette, but I can't say for sure that will still happen as thinking of the romance isn't a high priority atm. If doing Felinette, I'm also debating if I want to work off canon or dismiss his existence and do a Felix unrelated to Adrien at all (which can be easy to do as he comes in so late, same with Zoe). That is if even still doing Felix as a partner for Marinette, just isn't at the forefront of my mind rn.

Only thing I will say for sure, as I am aiming for a Lila redemption, is that I would like to do Lila/Nino and give that pairing a try.

I like the idea of Lila aiming for Adrien and finds herself drawn to another and these feelings are entirely unplanned. That Nino wants to be a film director and he can help Lila realize she'd be an amazing actress, which can utilize her skills well. I also have yet to really try "bad girl/good boy" pairing.

Either way, I am curious about them as a pairing, especially with redeemed/redeeming Lila, so that's the only for sure I can give you pairing wise. Though I can't say when it'd happen as I am still gradually planning this fic out.

I am glad you like my writing and are looking forward to this. I am aiming for this to be pretty fun, with some angst sprinkled here and there. And of all the WIPs I've been sitting on, this is the one I keep thinking back to that I'd really like to do. So I'm excited for it.

[bushdivingbushranger]

What was going to an all girls school like, if you don't mind me asking? :)

OK anon im so sorry this is so long and so convuluted I actually got so carried away jdbKJBGKSDBGH. i'm not even sure i properly answered your question i just got overwhelmed with Love for my same-sex schooling DHGKJSDFBHG anyway, if there's anything more you want to know lmk and I will try to be concise next time 💀

Essentially, my own experience at a single-sex secondary school was fantastic—however, I know my experience isn’t universal, especially since my school was a little bit different to most, I think.

That being said, I still think that sending your daughters to female-only secondary schools is something every parent should strive to do if they can. No other learning environment will ever be as good for girls as a same-sex school.

In terms of school staff, mine was about 95% female, and 5% male. The few male teachers we had were genuinely competent men and decent teachers, they were also watched like hawks. Our principal was female, all leadership positions in the school (such as House Leaders, Year Level Co-Ordinators, Department Heads, even the chaplain) were held by women. Our school psychologists, our nurses, our library technicians, our café ladies, our career advisors, our tutors—all were women. Our school houses (think like Harry Potter houses) were named after important women in our country’s history.

I went to a co-ed primary school. And whilst at twelve you might not have the words to describe it, graduating from a co-ed space, into an all-female space is really a giant weight off of your shoulders. You don’t realise how suffocating co-education is until you’re no longer having to bear it. It feels so much more natural, so much more free! You are welcomed as you are. You can be loud and unashamed of it. We joked frequently with each other and our teachers, laughed loudly and cared not whether our laughs were ‘ugly’. I found that teachers were far more supportive than they were in my co-ed school. For example, in a co-ed school I had been told frequently to ‘pipe down’ or to ‘reel it in’ from teachers, and more vexingly to ‘shut up’ from boys due to my boisterous personality. In high school? My teachers encouraged me to audition for the play because I had ‘great projection’. In every school programme (more on those later) that I was involved in, I was the one asked to give speeches about them at assembly. I was asked to be the lead of our house chants during our sports festivals. I was asked to join the debate team because of my passionate nature, which in primary school, had me known as ‘difficult’.

Likewise, I had a friend who was by nature quiet, and loved to draw. In primary school she’d doodled on the back of a work booklet, and when her teacher returned it, she’d taken off two points and had written a comment saying something about teachers in high school not accepting work that was drawn on.

Do you know what happened when she got to high school? Our English teacher had seen the eye she’d drawn on the back of our Romeo and Juliet test and had written, ‘beautiful!’ above it. The next test, she drew a two-headed cat with witches’ hats on both heads (I remember the left head was called Turpentine and the right head was called Esmeralda). Our teacher wrote, ‘wonderful!’ above it, with a smiley face.

The next day she got an email from our art teacher that had a PDF flyer of information on both in-school and local art competitions.

Anyway, she had questions and that teacher answered every single one of them. She also personally helped her select the works she wanted to submit. She ended up having two pieces shown in the school gallery, along forty pieces made by other girls. About five years later for our final year, on that art teacher’s recommendation (and tutelage!) she took all of the visual art subjects on offer. When she graduated, her final piece was shown at a public exhibition in our state’s capital city, that honoured the best pieces done by select graduating students in the state.

So yeah. Our teachers were pretty amazing. Of course, there was the odd teacher or two you would butt heads with but that’s just a universal school experience. Our humanities classes, like history, for example, often had a unit that would focus on the female experience of a certain time period. For example, when learning about WW2, we did projects on female resistance fighters et cetera.

We had health classes that were actually focused on female health. We learnt about female anatomy (even the clitoris! Though we were all about thirteen/fourteen at this time so we found it incredibly awkward to talk about), as well as symptoms of PCOS during our menstrual unit. We learnt about contraceptive methods and devices (however, as a Catholic school they did have to tell us that whilst these methods are available, the church-sanctioned method is of course, abstinence).

Whilst the majority of the girls shaved their legs and wore makeup, as someone who did neither of those things I rarely felt judgement about it (albeit, I think there was a little for my lack of makeup, but this only lasted the first two years). A good portion of our staff also did not wear makeup, I don’t recall this ever being commented on. And, by the time we’d reached about our third year, a good portion of my year level and the ones above did not wear makeup on a daily basis. Leg hair was not looked down upon by any of us I don’t think by this year either. In fact, if you were particularly hairy often your hairless friends asked to rub your legs!

We were never short of female role-models, our staff made sure of that. We had multiple days per year when guest speakers would come and talk to us, mostly these were women who were experts in their fields—whether that be neuroscience or computer science, linguistics and literature or mathematics, politics, et cetera. The only times we really had male guest speakers was when police officers (one male one female) came to give us an assembly about sexual peer-pressure and laws around sharing nudes that was basically, “these are common (male) manipulation tactics used to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do, don’t fall for them”.

We were encouraged to take STEM subjects, and those of us that had taken interest in computer programming were sent to coding programmes in the city during school hours! That’s how keen our teachers were to get more women into the field! This was the same with the girls interested in politics, who got to go to Model UN events, as well as mock parliaments in the country’s capitol.

We had a lot of programmes generally. A few overseas ones for girls who were in LOTE (languages other than English) classes. A few interstate ones, too. And of course, local programmes and excursions. Most of them (aside from the LOTE ones which focused on immersion) were volunteer programmes aimed at helping women and girls. The rest were about furthering our own skills or learning new ones. Majority of these were year-level based, but a few depended on the clubs/groups/classes you were in. For example, I was part of the Writer’s Club, and we took an excursion to the state Writer’s Festival and listened to female writers as well as feminist panels. We also had self-defence programmes every year.

In terms of peers I generally found everyone to be quite amiable by the time we’d reached our third/fourth year. There’s a common myth about all girls schools being filled with ‘catty’ girls who are constantly bitching about one another, but I really did not find that to ring true. There were a few fights and arguments in the earlier years, I was part of quite a lot lol but that’s honestly… just something that happens at school, at any school. Largely, we were good to each other. If someone was crying there was always someone who’d ask her what was wrong. If you missed the notes on the slide, there was always a girl willing to share her notes with you.

I think going to an all-girl’s school, and not having that much interaction with the opposite sex generally for that six-year period truly does something, I think, to your psyche. We are socialised to look down on our fellow woman, socialised to look down upon ourselves. But actually being constantly surrounded by women, and almost ONLY women, really helps to undo that. Even now I could not describe the fierce love I have for all those women and girls I came in contact with during my time there—even the ones I bickered with. Each and every single woman I met there enriched my life in some way or another. I think that is the effect of consistently spending time in any female-only space: developing a true appreciation for women. It is the only reasonable conclusion to come to.

I have been out of high school for two years, and in university for one. Among the many men I have met since, none of them have even been able to hold a candle to the any women and girls I know.

Anyway. TLDR: it slapped, send your daughters to same-sex schools!!

[isa-ghost]

How do you hold onto hope that anything will be done with Anti or any of Sean's Egos? I fell out of love for JSE and his content about three years ago due to.. I guess just growing up? But I used to check back in from time to time because he used to promise that "Big Thing's" we're coming for his Egos. (Mind you this was before the pandemic took full effect so there wasn't that as an excuse.) I just recently checked his channel and saw he has taken a step back (Good for him and his mental health if he needs that!) from making content. Did he burn out? Is he ever going to do anything with the Ego's? I don't even know why I care at this point? I guess I just want logical answers and you are the smartest JSE fan I know? Anywho. Sorry for the rant. I'll get out of your asks. 🌶

Oookay unpacking this ask time.

Anon thanks in advance for sending this because as feisty as I felt at first, it helped me get out a lot of things I've wanted to say in this regard for a Long Long Time so, yeah. Thank you.

1. Personally I don't like the term "grew up" in reference to CCs or much of anything tbh, because you're rarely too old to enjoy the things you love. But I get what you mean regardless. Just wanted to plop out my take on that topic in general. Never think you're too old to enjoy something harmless though. :)

2. I've been shaky on hope lately, to be honest. He's not been doing a ton of videos in general lately, minus some strays and the Deltarune Chapter 2 series (I genuinely didnt expect him to play it bc he hadnt played another recently released big game I wanted to see him play but he did, and I'm super grateful bc it was killing me lowkey). Which obviously the decision not to make a ton of content at the moment is okay. He's very burnt out, he's been having severe health issues both physically and on/off mentally. The lack of content and low energy he's had lately is just disheartening if that's the right word idk. BUT!! We DO have a MASSIVE Thankmas stream coming in December to look forward to!

I miss him and some days I get kinda,, idk, bitter? About the radio silence. But unlike a lot of people that have been in and out of the JSE Community between 2018 to now, I respect his health and the fact that he's a whole ass human being and has a life and other things he is more than free to do instead whenever the fuck he wants. TLDR I think have better critical thinking skills than some people on here and Twitter lmao. And the last few years have been shit, both in the world and- at least on here -in the community (dare I mention the t*ablogs). Though lately the community is quiet and very very peaceful and enjoyable again. At least in my corner here.

The thing is, I'm not and was never here ONLY for egos. I love Sean and everything about him to bits. He made one of the worst few years I had in the 2010s infinitely more bearable and gave me an explosive amount of inspiration for creativity that I'd not really experienced before. And friends I'll never let go of.

I miss ego content. I want it to keep going. I'm extremely sad it might not continue. But as an artist, I know why he was promising big things once upon a time. When you're a creator and you have a story like this, you want to flesh it out. The motivation and muse is high. People are excited and you want to deliver. The difference with Sean is that he wanted it to be as high in quality as he could push for after all our excitement and incessant thirst for more. And his plans involved a budget and more than just himself and none of it was his main focus. It was a fun side project.

HOWEVER, big projects like this get interrupted by life, smaller projects, distractions and other things. Sean got SLAMMED by all of the above non-stop these last few years and then hit a bad burnout. I think that through it all, he hit that dreaded wall some artists with big, long term plans like the egos story hit and lost motivation. It got overhyped. Pressure got too crushing. Any plans he made to FINALLY continue the ego storyline got murdered by Covid more than once (which.. personally the term "excuse" sounds kinda shitty in reference to that imo but I digress). Making promises only to have outside variables beyond his control break them was killing him, so he just stopped promising. And people who have no respect or patience got annoying and some got straight up inexcusably vulgar, immature and hateful before dramatically fleeing the community in a tantrum like he'd personally come to their house and betrayed them. It was infuriating to watch go down.

But no matter how much it might hurt or be disappointing to see it die out, I'm here for Sean and his journey no matter where it takes him. I'm not sitting here being a stubborn beacon of anything. And I also recognize and (no matter how reluctantly) respect that we aren't OWED ego content. Never were. It was not an obligation no matter how many promises he made or how much hype he stirred up. And to be fair? We drove the hype a million miles further than he EVER did and we can't blame him for that. I hate the people who do. I'm grateful for the ego content we got and I'll cry if we ever get more. But if it's done, it's done and we just have to accept it. I, as sad as I am to, accept it. And we can always make our own.

And finally- thanks for the compliment. Idk if I'd say I'm the SMARTEST but that means a lot either way. :')

I hope this gave some answers even though it came out more of a vent/rant and PSA??

Obviously any JSE followers and mutuals please feel free to reblog this. But don't start any fights, not that I really expect there to be any?

[masterhandss]

Forbidden fruit ask time: Keith x Katarina. I know people in western fandom are understandably wary of this ship, but apparently it's one of the favourites for the Japanese audience and based on what I heard it actually has some decent foundation in novels (not as much as GeoKata, but still). Since you read novels and are #1 hamefura blog on Tumblr and know so much I wanted to ask you to tell us how KeiKata is doing in novels if it's okay owo??

owo!! lmao, I don't know about being the "#1 hamefura blog on tumblr" (I-I... I thought I was an art blog... :')) I mean I just like to ramble about hamefura lmao but I'm always happy to answer questions!

Yeah... Keith x Katarina is a hard subject to talk about considering how violent reactions can be depending on who you're talking to. I remember when Season 1 was airing, people really doesn't like Keith as a romantic option for Katarina due to them being siblings, and I'm honestly waiting for those people to react to the S2 OP and S2 in general. I've talked to a few people who don't like KeiKata at all, and they have the absolute right to dislike any ship that they want, but it did make me sad to know how much Keith is hated by the EN Fandom considering how loved he is in the JP Fandom. He's pretty much the most favorite male character and the second most shipped with Katarina.

-> hamefura x(s2) & ln spoilers ahead <-

A lot of people's issues with Keith stems from the fact that he and Katarina are step-sibling and that it's really weird for Keith to be romantically interested in Katarina (a person who sees him as a little brother completely). People are accusing him of taking advantage of Katarina's trust in him to keep her to himself and that pursuing her romantically would destroy the familial bond that they've had for years. The thing is that Keith treasures Katarina as a person, not as a sibling. Yes, Keith sees her as family, but he also sees her as more than family. To him, being able to be together with Katarina doesn't mean that he'll have to love her differently, but that he will be able to love her even more deeply and honestly. You can even headcanon that the reason Keith calls Katarina "big sister" is because he's asked to do so, and because it's a symbol of his acceptance into the family, but maybe not necessarily how he sees her.

Some of the material that will be covered in Season 2 is about Keith, so I don't know how much I want to talk about that since most fans will be able to see it themselves. Keith has it the hardest because his position makes it so that he's the least likely to get his feelings across to Katarina due to their relationship. In one of the upcoming arcs in the anime, Keith will be able to break Katarina's baka shield in the same way Geordo does: by using actions instead of words, and by just literally finding the courage to take the risk and tell her.

That's where one of the interesting things about hamefura comes into play: one of the reasons why people dislike KeiKata so much is that they feel like the reveal of Keith's feelings would awaken disgust and betrayal in Katarina. Few fanfics of hamefura portray it that way, that Katarina would be weirded out by his feelings and reject them immediately. Maybe it's because Katarina is aware of Keith as not only a sibling, but also as a romance-able character in an otome game (also because of the nature of this series lmao), that in canon, she doesn't take his confession negatively and is flushed/embarrassed by it just like Geordo's confession. I know the "weirded out" reaction is the most realistic, but maybe Katarina also understands that their relationship doesn't have a clear label. They care for each other very much and whether that bond is romantic, familial or friendship isn't something they bothered to really name, maybe? Lmao I don't know, that last bit is just speculation on my part, I can't exactly get into Katarina's head and pinpoint what she thought of Keith's confession.

If I'm being honest, she forgets about Keith's confession more often than she does Geordo, mostly because nothing really changed after he made his feelings clear. I wouldn't say that she dismissed it, it's just that she's forgetting it because in her perspective being loved as a woman and as family by Keith both means that he'll take care of her and shower her with attention (aka no difference).

When I think about how "KeiKata is doing in the novels", for some reason the first thing that comes to my mind is the line "how they treated Geordo in the anime, from a JP perspective". I know that sounds confusing, but what I mean is that a lot of Arc 2 - FL2 scenes with KeiKata is kinda fanservice (aka the thing they tried to do for Geordo in the anime which worked for JP fans but made him hated by the EN fans) (not me trying to insert Geordo in a post about Keith hehe :V). Excluding all the Keith scenes that are coming in Season 2 of the anime and the current arc of the manga, the story really likes to test Keith's self-control when it comes to seeing Katarina as a woman.

Keith's scenes with Katarina aren't necessarily "hot and spicy" by any means, but people nowadays tend to be quite bothered and annoyed at typical japanese romance tropes being played out in modern anime series (such as bed-pining, surprised kisses and kabedons). I mean yeah I'd be bothered too if someone pulled those moves on me in real life, but for the japanese audience this is what their fanservice is like so that's the kind of stuff we'll see in hamefura. Just like Geordo, Keith is given a few scenes where he's put in a romantic spot with Katarina after he confessed, but it always just ends with him backing out and hoping that it at least could remind Katarina of how he sees her (like bed-pinning in LN6 & affectionate touches from Katarina in LN8). A lot of hate towards Keith stems from these scenes because people sees this as a disrespect towards Katarina and the familial relationship they have. These scenes helps reinforce how Keith sees Katarina as a woman and not as a sister, but depending on who you're siding with, you're either gonna be disgusted at Keith or extremely pissed off at Katarina's lack of propriety & density.

Like, people are getting angry at Keith for being a teenage boy who is being bothered by affectionate touches from the girl he likes who is also always approaching him with only a nightgown? I mean blame the author or Keith all you want but at least put some responsibility on Katarina as well :V People are really saying "well, he shouldn't be bot and bothered by it in the first place, they are siblings! that's disgusting!" well again, Keith sees her as a woman and Katarina needs to be aware that she shouldn't be so touchy with the opposite sex regardless if it's family. Keith kinda blames Katarina for the way he feels given how she acts around him despite being unaware of his feelings, which is also the cause of some hatred towards Keith.

People are saying that Keith is dumping *all* the responsibility onto Katarina because she acts in such an affectionate way towards him, but in reality Keith feels really bad & also hates himself for being so attracted to her when she doesn't even know about his feelings. He puts a lot of blame onto himself and thinks he's just as bad as Geordo sometimes (not saying Geordo is bad, more like Keith's "idea of Geordo" being bad lmao). Keith always walks on eggshells around Katarina because he doesn't want to disrespect how he feels about her and how she feels about him. It's just sad to see people hate him for the few moments where his self-control breaks so that he can act on his honest emotion, and accuse him of abusing Katarina's trust :((

Just like Geordo, Keith has made it clear how he feels and strongly desires to pursue her romantically, but his problem of being the step-sibling is still there. I haven't gotten my own copy of JP Volume 10 yet, I feel like I just wanna wait for the EN version instead of using GT, but multiple spoilers have noted that while Keith hasn't made progress in getting approval of his feelings from Katarina's side, he's at least able to get an approval from his family. Well, by that I mean Keith has already confessed his romantic feelings about Katarina to their father Luigi, and he replied by saying that he approves of whoever Katarina chooses for herself. Keith realizes that all he needs to do is get Katarina to return his feelings. When he does, his family wont hate him, but instead he'll be able to love them and be loved in the same, yet different way.

TLDR; a lot has happened to Keith throughout the light novels. He's progressing slowly and steadily just like Geordo, and is leagues ahead compared to the other characters. He has confessed his feelings and got reassurance of his relationship with his parents. Keith and Katarina's relationship itself hasn't really changed though, but it's nice to know that Keith is at least laying the foundations for his hypothetical future with her. Katarina doesn't really think about Keith enough to be able to tell how she feels about his confession or if her opinion on him has changed at all though, so take that as either an L or a W for Keith.

Thank you for the ask! I'm sorry if this isn't as elaborate as you wanted, anon. I like Keith and Katarina but I guess it's because they aren't my bias that I don't pay too much attention to the tiny details of how Keith is written in the books qwq