#But when I start my channel up again maybe I'll feel better about it

[dudewhy3]

Continue yours and Myrtle's discussion about Armin being a Twilight fan, what if it's a plot twist, and it's ARMIN who introduced Mikasa to Twilight?

Like, he was *analysing* everything and reading books and watching movies, but was ashamed of it, and Mikasa once spotted him writing another long essay about, "The more Edward loves Bella, the more he thinks he's in danger: principles of the selective abstraction and polarizes thinking", and so he introduced her with the saga after this.

BONUS: before AruAni became a thing, Armin heard Annie playing and singing Paramore - Decode, and he was mesmerized by her voice, playing and beauty, and so he was so smitten with her, that he didn't even notice that Annie was, in fact, smitten with him, too. It took them a while before they became a couple, but when they did, Annie plays Decode only for him :3

HI ANNAAAA, AND OH MY GOD YES!! THIS IS SUCH A GREAT IDEA AAAAAAGH, thank you for sending it in!! <3

It turned out rather long ahaha, so i'll put it under the cut. Please do beware of the angst ahead :3

So in a high school au, let's say Armin was 16 this year. That would mean that he was born in the same year the first Twilight movie was released (2008), just 3 weeks before. So, imagine his parents, a young couple, new parents to a little bundle of light, huddling up on the little couch in their little apartment, trying to ignore the cold, switching through channels to make the time pass. They randomly get to a channel streaming Twilight, so they watch it all. And little Armin doesn't cry once, he just stares at the screen with those big eyes of his, as if he understood everything that was going on. For the next 5 years, each November they would watch the release of another Twilight movie (except for that one time in like 2010 when they released it in June). And after the saga was complete, they'd watch it all in November, maybe even on Armin's birthday to make it more special. Until the day he turned 10, and his parents didn't come home– they never came home again, it was just him and his grandfather. Yet every time he missed them, he put on a Twilight movie, and the grief would get a little more bearable.

So as he grew older, he grew more attached to the saga. He started analysing everything about it, every little detail, because it made him feel closer to his parents. But he never shared those ideas, because they were so intimate and he was already getting bullied enough- so, he kept them in a little notebook. Until one day in math class when he was about 13 or 14, he was scribbling down ideas for that essay you mentioned- "The more Edward loves Bella, the more he thinks he's in danger" (which is such a cool title btw, love it). And Mikasa peeked over his shoulder and read a bit, and she was so engrossed with it that she didn't stop pestering him until he showed her the movies.Which was life changing for Mikasa, because she now finally had something she truly loved, but also for Armin- someone liked his ideas; he got to share his love for the series again, and it made him happy. So he finally found the courage to share his analyses and ideas, and they were well recieved by the fandom.

But he never finished that essay, not until he met Annie. He met her just as you said- he heard her singing once and was irrevocably in love. Except, i head canon that Annie would be such a distant and quiet person in high school, it would take a LOT to get close to her. Not only is she aloof, she's also extremely direct- so all his efforts to sit with her or strike up conversation ended up in her berating him for bugging her. Besides, there was Bert too, always two steps behind Annie in an almost stalky manner, but she seemed to indulge his presence better than Armin's.

So, Armin gave up on trying to pursue her. He accepted the fact that he was the Jacob in this situation and that his Bella has chosen the giant vampire, and drowned himself into his theories and analysis. He found that essay in his drafts, and decided to work on it again. "The more Edward loves Bella, the more he thinks he's in danger: principles of the selective abstraction and polarized thinking". It helped to put his own feelings and love somewhere.

But the bullies found it. They found his notebook, tore it all up, gave him one hell of a beating. Armin was left bruised and broken and with a ruined notebook. His work, his life's purpose- gone. He didn't know what to do, so he picked himself up, gathered the pieces of paper that used to be his essay, and started walking astray through the school. Until he heard soft guitar tunes coming out of the music room, and found Annie there, playing her guitar, wearing a scowl on her face. Somehow, her scowl only deepened when she saw him.

"I didn't know where else to go." He couldn't go home and worry his grandpa, and he couldn't go to his friends either, or Eren would have caused a scene. "Is it cool if I stay here? I promise not to bother you."

Annie looked him up and down, examining him thoroughly, her eyes widening the slightest bit at the sight of his bruises. "It's whatever," she finally said.

So they sat in the music room, each doing their own thing. Armin put his essay back together, and Annie carried on with her song. No word was spoken between them that day, or the next day, or the next week, yet there was peace in the quiet and comfort in the silent understanding passed between them. But Annie's silence turned into nods of aknowledgement and later into quiet 'hi's. Armin's turned into little smiles and stolen glances, and occasional "hey do you want some chips?"s. One day, two months into this arrangement, as she was taking a little break from her guitar and munching on his chips, she asked about that essay of his.

"How come you haven't finished it yet, don't you have a deadline for it?"

And so, feeling extremely self conscious, Armin beat around the bush and said that it was this silly character analyses for a show he liked.

The next day, Annie was playing another song, but he didn't recognize it at first because she played it in little sequences, never in full length. Eventually, maybe three or four weeks later, she asked him to put his essay aside for a minute and just listen, and she played Paramore's Decode, both guitar and voice. Armin was left absolutely mesmerized, so much so that he didn't know what to say, staring at Annie with a big dumb smile on his face. But the more he stared, the more self aware Annie became. She flushed a deep red, picked up all her stuff in a hurry and left.

That was the moment Armin realized he was completely smitten. He went home, sat down at his desk- and decided to finish his essay that very day, give it to Annie in the morning, and confess his love through it. Which is exactly what he did. He was an absolute zombie the next day, having barely slept, but when he made it to the music room his heart was beating like crazy against his chest.

Annie got flustered when she saw him. "This is my room, I found it first. If you're gonna sit there and mock me for what I play, then you can stick your nose right up your-"

He thrusted the papers in her arms. "Just read this," he demanded.

Annie looked between him and the papers with skeptical eyes, but eventually sat down and started reading through them. Armin sat next to her and carefully watched her face as she read, taking into account every little change in her expression.

When she was done, Annie sat the papers neatly between them.

"Okay. And?"

"What do you think?"

"What does this have to do with me?"

Armin took a deep breath in, building up his courage. He couldn't back out now.

"This is how I feel about you. What do you think?"

[the-halfling-prince]

Just saw a post from an agtuber on Instagram from 2016 saying "this year id like to finish filming season 6 of [show that never got a season 6] and season 2 of [show that never got a season 2]" I feel like I've discovered records in the ruins of a once glorious city from right before it fell.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

PINNED POST, FAQ, INFORMATION

Hi, I'm TBSkyen. I make videos on YouTube sometimes. This is my main tumblr blog, the "brand" blog as it were, where I maintain my Social Media Presence™ on this site.

I use the ironic ™ to signal my personal discomfort with the work of being a minor media personality even while I still do that work and make a living off it.

I have a sideblog called @tbposting, mostly for shitposts and reblogs, and in my opinion I have pretty darn good taste in reblogs, so you can follow that if you want. It's also where I'll do random personal posting, microblogging, etc.

This main blog is primarily for 1) answering asks, and 2) posting my Original Content™, usually my main channel videos, as well as the occasional longer essay or critique. Sometimes I'll reblog an interesting or useful thing, or boost a friend's work, but I try to keep the spam to a minimum.

---

About Me

I am a thirtysomething content creator whose primary expertise is character design.

I have a bachelor's degree in English, never finished my master's, did most of a bachelor's degree in history, and that's it. These are my academic qualifications, no more and no less.

My professional experience is primarily being a freelancer and self-employed creator. I spent the better part of a decade working as a commission artist, running webcomics, drawing fanart, and the occasional animation work and not safe for work commissions, and I have at this point a decade of experience and self-study in the subjects I cover. I have also done online community management for, god help me, almost twenty years, so that's a part of my skillset I'll never escape.

I do not have any particular professional creative industry experience, although given what I hear from my professional friends, sometimes that seems like a blessing.

Please maintain a critical distance when engaging with my work. I am a critic. My work is very rarely meant to be taken as authoritative or didactic, and when it is, I will make it clear in my writing. Just because I speak with confidence doesn't mean I am trying to assert objective truth.

---

TAGS (to follow, or filter)

#tbanswers is the tag for every single ask I answer on this blog

#tb reblog is the tag for reblogs

#tb essay is for the occasional longer essay or critical writing

#tbvideos is for my videos and Content™

#tb recommends is for the occasional recommendation of a video essay or other creator

Yes, I know the spaces are inconsistent. It's not on purpose, I just typed them in haphazardly when I started using them and it's stuck.

---

FAQ (before you ask)

Q: Will you ever do a video about ____ ? A: The answer to this question is almost universally "maybe someday, if I have time, and if I feel I have anything worthwhile to say." And the more realistic answer is "no, because I already have far too much on my plate and I have burned myself out too many times." In general, please don't ask me this question, I will most likely not answer it because I have given the same answer a thousand times, but I still feel guilty about not answering them.

Q: Will you continue your series of videos about ____ ? A: Yes! I will continue the let's plays I started, I will finish the Boss Designs series, I will do another What's the Deal With, I will do more shorts about the subjects I've got going on. The main obstacle is, again, my tendency to overload myself.

Q: Do you have a PO box? Can I send you something? A: Not yet, but I'm looking into it. It may be a while before I get it set up.

Q: Do you have merchandise? A: A little bit, yes, at tbskyen.redbubble.com.

Q: What's your opinion on [game/movie/comic/book/etc]? A: I struggle to answer very open, broad questions like this. Most things I have opinions about, I have multiple opinions, and different ones depending on the perspective and specific element in question. I'm much more likely to answer specific, bounded questions.

Q: Can I send you fanart? A: PLEASE. Askbox, tag me on bluesky, send it to my email! I love seeing every piece of it!

Q: Why do you never appear on camera? A: A forest witch cursed me to look not quite but ALMOST like Paul Giamatti in all photos and videos ever taken of me, and his laywers sent me a cease-and-desist.

Q: Are you gay/straight/bi/other? A: The decision I've made for myself, at least for this period of my life, is that privacy is precious, and once given up can never be reclaimed on the internet. I am open about being aromantic (not asexual), because it's a sometimes invisible and underdiscussed identity, and I know it would have helped me a lot to see someone speak about it when I was younger.

The rest of it is for me to know, and for you to speculate about, although preferably somewhere I can't see it. I accept that this is a part of being a Personality, but it still feels weird, y'know?

Q: Is it weird if I find your voice kinda hot? A: I've put a lot of work into developing this voice and making it nice to listen to, so that's not weird at all and I find it quite complimentary, thank you.

I generally don't mind people doing flirty/thirsty posting about or at me, just so long as we all understand that 1) you should never give a stranger like me information which could be used to harm you. Nicer-seeming YouTubers than me have turned out to be monsters.

And 2) it will never go beyond playful online flirtiness. I like to fluster my live chat, I'll flirt back in an ask or a post maybe, but I am not flirting with you, or inviting any kind of closer intimacy with you, the person I responded to.

Think of me like a comedian doing crowd-work at a show - you can chat to me in the bar after the show, but when I asked you what you do for work I wasn't looking for a personal connection, I was doing my work as an entertainer. Please no sending me nudes, or propositions, or confession letters in my email inbox. We are strangers, and I am always performing a persona in public.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Vaggie: "Sweetie, today I'm gonna show you the soothing power of... the mutual grapple and scream."

Charlie: "The what and what?"

Vaggie: "We can also call it the grab and yell."

Charlie: "Somehow that doesn't sound any more soothing."

Vaggie: "Trust me it'll be great."

Charlie: "I trust you... not your idea of what's mentally healthy or good all the time, but I do trust YOU."

Vaggie: "That works. So first, we start by standing and facing each other."

Charlie: "Okay!"

Vaggie: "Without getting lost in each other's eyes."

Charlie: "I'll try."

Vaggie: "Now- put your hands behind my neck and lace your fingers together."

Charlie: "Ohh~ Okay~~~"

Vaggie: "We're not gonna kiss, Charlie."

Charlie: "No?

Vaggie: "No."

Charlie: "I'm already not a huge fan of this maneuver thing."

Vaggie: "It gets better I promise. I'm gonna lock may arms around yours and get my hands behind your neck too-"

Charlie: "Are you SURE we can't kiss???"

Vaggie: "-and we're both gonna pull down, dragging each other into this headbutt. Got it?"

Charlie: "Got it." (pouts)

Vaggie: "What? Not comfortable?"

Charlie: "Perfectly comfy, but we're basically kissing already. I don't see how it'd ruin anything."

Vaggie: "How are we basically kissing."

Charlie: "Our cheeks are almost touching."

Vaggie: "Babe. Focus."

Charlie: "I'm trying but your pretty face is making it hard!"

Vaggie: "..I hate that we're friends with Angel Dust. I hate knowing what dumb jokes he'd crack about that."

Charlie: "Making me think of sex jokes just makes this harder!"

Vaggie: "I didn't say they'd be-"

Charlie: "It's Angel Dust of COURSE they'd be sex jokes!!!"

Vaggie: "Well we're not doing that either."

Charlie: "ARGH."

Vaggie: "Alright, you feel that rage? We're gonna channel that in a momment. So take a deep breath..."

Charlie: "EeeeeEEEEYUP-"

Vaggie: "And when you're ready...."

Charlie: "?"

Vaggie: "Scream."

Charlie: "-pWAHT? Right in your FACE?"

Vaggie: "I'll scream too. We're gonna be screaming buddies."

Charlie: "This helps with stress... how."

Vaggie: "Don't you ever just wanna go apeshit?"

Charlie: "No!"

Charlie: "...."

Charlie: "Not at YOU!!!"

Vaggie: "It's not at me, it's with me."

Charlie: "I don't know, Vaggie..."

Vaggie: "Think of it like- kinda like singing. Only you're only doing it for yourself."

Charlie: "I DO sing just for myself!"

Vaggie: "And you still try to make it sound good and happy even when you don't have to and aren't feeling it. I know."

Charlie: "Well what makes screaming any better? It's almost always an angry or scared or upset sound, we hear it all day long down here and it's not fun!"

Vaggie: "People also scream when they're excited."

Charlie: "I get the feeling you want this to be an angry yell."

Vaggie: "A good angry. Yelling can feel REALLY good, babe, and doesn't have to hurt anyone."

Charlie: "Hmm."

Vaggie: "And, again, it'd make me very happy.

Charlie: "...I guess we can try it..."

Charlie: "IF I get a kiss right afterwards!"

Vaggie: "Yell and kiss? Never done that before."

Charlie: "What about when we-"

Vaggie: "Outside of bed and stuff, I mean. Ready?"

Charlie: "Deep breath and scream on three! ONE!" (deep breath)

Vaggie: "Two." (also deep breath)

Charlie: "...."

Vaggie: "...."

Chaggie: "......"

Chaggie: (bursts out laughing instead)

Charlie: "PFHAHA THAT WAS YOUR FAULT! You- you made a weird face at me!"

Vaggie: "I made a weird face because you made a weird face."

Charlie: "It was a glare!"

Vaggie: "How was that a glare?"

Charlie: "Because I was glaring!!"

Vaggie: "You were pouting at my lips with your cheeks puffed up."

Charlie: "I was TRYING to channel my rage at not kissing you into a good BIG angry yell!"

Vaggie: "Maybe you should channel it into a good gay kiss instead."

Charlie: "It's harder than it looks, okay! I- oh."

Charlie: "..."

Charlie: "Now THAT I can do."

[pixelchills]

Chill's ramblings about the DCA fandom and personal feelings and issues towards TSAMS (both positive an negative):

(I'm writing this like an essay but treating it like a diary, so if I jump from subject to another, it is because I am just typing as the thoughts hit my head. Sorry for being so wordy.)

I simply feel like I need to write my thoughts down, so why not share them with you. Maybe you can validate my feelings or something, I don't know.

Intro:

So, oof, I got a fic rec from @thedenofravenpuff and I'm loving it so much I really wanna draw fan art for it...

But the problem is that it's a TSAMS fanfic and I've sworn to my name I'll never draw anything related to the show because that will make me engage with a part of the fandom I'm not comfortable with.

My biggest issue with TSAMS:

I have such complicated feelings towards the show and its fanbase and I do not wish to make my life and work more difficult because of it as it already is.

My own work and characters are already constantly being compared to TSAMS. When I first introduced Solar to my fic, he was constantly being referred to Eclipse from TSAMS. Now that the show had a character with THE SAME NAME, it has been even worse.

Dolldrop Moon has been compared to Lunar. Even though the dolldrops existed before the youtube channel was even created (and Lunar made his debut much later).

The biggest issue I've had has always been the fanbase, that takes the show as the canon for Sun and Moon from FNAF and uses it as an excuse to harass shippers like me because they think Sun and Moon are brothers.

I've first handedly seen the damage the fanbase has done to some of my friends who draw, or have previously drawn art for the show besides their own AUs and personal headcanons of Sun and Moon as lovers. I'm sorry to tag you, but @kriimhild and @fablekitty : I've seen how the immature side of the show's fans have treated you, I am so terribly sorry you've had to defend yourselves over and over again for things that were not meant to be mixed up.

I have posted some ideas of a possible Animutant Moon and Sun forming a polyamorous relationship with Solar in the future of "My Dear Daffodil" on my personal/adult Twitter account. Someone kept commenting on my posts that I was glorifying incest, because Sun and Moon were brothers and Solar was their cousin.

The post had "Animutant" in it. Not "TSAMS". These comments came from a person saying they were 19 in their profile. So it's not just kids who can't tell not every fanwork is about TSAMS. It's starting to be some adults too.

Vice versa I've had another person comment on my very clearly SFW Twitter how they're following me because I am an adult artist who draws TSAMS incest. I have never drawn TSAMS art. I ship Sun and Moon, but they're never related with family bond, because I love presenting them as lovers.

Why I ship Sun and Moon:

Because I am a hopeless romantic. I love romantic love. Every single story I write is always about love.

The only exception to this is the Poppy Playtime comic I am doing. But even then, I was originally planning for a romantic love between Dogday and the Player. Yet, I decided to leave it, and keep the relationship open for any type of representation the reader themselves will prefer.

I used to watch The Sun and Moon Show when it first started airing. I loved their playthroughs. I had a big distaste for them calling each other brothers, as well as some of the first "lore" videos they had. My biggest issue at the time was how Moon treated Sun, though. As someone who grew up with an abusive sibling, it sometimes just hit a bit too hard at home.

But it got better after Eclipse and Lunar appeared. Moon was more caring, and I started to really like his character development. There was one episode where Sun explained to Lunar that he and Moon had simply just "decided" to be brothers, despite not having a canonical relationship.

This actually made me really happy. Because the Old Moon was aroace, the love he felt was simply never meant to be romantic, but platonic. And by making Sun his brother by choice clearly indicated that Sun was always the one he loved the most - in a way that was suitable for aromantic person like him.

And it really made me enjoy the show for a while. Sun is my favourite character, and despite not always liking the way the show presents him, I always feel so much love for him, no matter the AU he is in. So I loved that Moon loved him more than anything, even if it was just platonic. Because I've always been under the impression that the canon Moon loves Sun, and is only under a virus to protect him. For me, the best part of any Sun and Moon AU is to know that Sun is the most important thing to Moon.

Why I stopped watching TSAMS:

And then that Moon I had really started to like, who loved Sun more than anyone else but just platonically, died.

It hurt so much I simply stopped watching the show. I've watched a few episodes here and there after that, but I am having a hard time liking the show the same as I did before.

Partially it's because of the fanbase. Partially it's because I don't find the lore very interesting and some of the stuff a bit repetitive. Partially it's because I am scared to see Sun eventually crumble up into madness, because he has been through so much.

I like the New Moon. He is funny and nice, what I've seen. His relationship with Solar has been interesting, and I genuinely hoped they would've been able to take the romantic route after Moon said he wasn't sure if he was aroace anymore. But as I said, I've only watched a few episodes after the old Moon died, so I don't know either of their characters that much to form any strong opinions about them. I just listen to the Monty and Puppet podcast once in a while and get a little inside to some of the lore that has been happening.

But hey, at least there's fanfics. Which is why I am rambling here today.

Fanfics:

It is a rare treat to find Sun x Moon fanfics that aren't simply just porn, or do not include reader inserts. So since my romance-filled brain needed something to fill the void, I've started reading some TSAMS fics with romance (that wasn't between Sun & Moon) and plot in them.

I know Solar was settled to be a "cousin" to the weird family tree of TSAMS. But I simply crave for Solar and New Moon to be at least queerplatonic. Solar is not from their dimension, no matter how much they decide they're 'cousins' it doesn't make him their real cousin or relative because they're not from the same world.

Sun and Moon are brothers but they technically gave birth to Eclipse, who then created Lunar so Eclipse is technically Lunar's parent and then brother and Lunar is Sun and Moon's brother and... do you see what I'm trying to say?

The family tree is so complicated that I don't think I'm a horrible person for shipping Moon and Solar and reading fics about them. Tell me if I am wrong though.

The FIC that is making me question everything:

So Puffy recommended this fic by @theinfamousdoctorf , "Eclipse Meets His Match".

I'm currently on chapter 40, and I am genuinely surprised how much I am liking this fic so far. It got everything; redemption and character growth, the representation of Sun as the good, glowing angel he is in my mind (for canon, and every AU. He is always perfect in my eyes I love him can you tell lol), slow-burn romance, drama, excitment, plot, jokes and funny moments... even if there are a lot of mentions of sex and sexual pleasure, it doesn't feel out of the place as there is so much more to it too.

Eclipse's redemption to become better and realising he is in love with Sun has been so interesting to follow. Sun deserves the love. I love when Sun is getting loved. I literally ship him with every other animatronic in the games and love it when people ship him with their self-inserts and OCs. Because I love him so much I want him to be loved in every possible universe he is in.

Even bigger bonus to this fic is the second pairing, Solar and Moon, which I already opened up about above. I don't know how much the fic is truthful to the canon lore of the show, but I wish to pretend this fic is the canon now /hj.

I love the characters and how they're written. I love the descriptions of their flaws and hopes and dreams. How vulnerable they can get. How closely they stick together. And as an appreciation for making me tearful and excited about fanfiction in such a long time, I would hope to be able to gift the author some fan art for their fic.

But I've sworn to not draw anything for the show. For my own good. I've got too many awful comments already from the fans of the show despite never doing any art for it. I am just scared it will turn things worse.

End words:

I don't know if creating a new alias would be the right choice. So my main name/account would be spared from the confusion that the show's fans seem to stirr into, where one tsams artwork turns all of the artist' work into tsams.

I don't care if the art style would be recognisible. The artist would be me, but not PixelChills. Just so I could gift something to the author of this fic that is currently saving me from the boredom of being unable to write my own.

Thank you.

(This text has been typed on my phone, so pardon for any typos).

-Chill

[buckgasms]

what would daddy Bucky do if princess forgot her safe word but was clearly not enjoying whatever they were doing?

Hi Nonnie 🩵 thank you for your question 😘 I have taken this a bit further along than your request because it's a good idea to look after our Daddy Bucky too 💙

I think he would notice the changes in his princess and figure out a way to stop without upsetting you more.

So let's say you had your hands tied and he was watching your face and your lip was wobbling and you weren't making much noise, which is not usual. Sometimes you cry or whatever but it's normally like happy, spoilt tears. These ones are different.

So he slows his movement to a stop, drops his face down to yours and presses kisses to your cheeks. He gives you a moment to respond but you can't. It's too much.

"I've got a job for you princess..." He says softly and you nod, limbs shaking. "I want ten kisses babygirl.... Ten kisses, take as long as you want, but I need ten..."

As your brain catches up, you press soft, gentle kisses to his cheek. You do a few and he asks, "how many was that angel?" Gentle and kind and you stumble over your words. "It's ok Princess, can you start again...Count for me, out loud. I know you can do it Princess."

You breathe out a smile and start again. Your hands have been untied, and he's wrapped you up close. Your warm bodies are pressed together and before you even know it you are back down to Earth and pressing your tenth kiss to his lips.

"There's my girl" he whispers as you shiver a little and cling to him, teardrops gathering on your eyelashes. "M'sorry Daddy... I couldn't say it, couldn't say my words..." Your breath shudders and he holds you closer, stroking your back and telling you everything was ok.

💙

I think once you were feeling better and maybe you'd had a little doze while wrapped up in his arms you feel Daddy slip away into the bathroom.

You wait for a little while for him to come back but he doesn't come back, but you can't hear the shower or anything. So you slip out of bed and tiptoe into the bathroom where Daddy is standing staring at himself in the mirror and leaning heavily on the counter.

"Daddy... What's wrong?" You whisper and wrap your arms around him, pressing your face into his back. His heartbeat thuds heavily and his breathing seems slow and tight. He turns around and hugs you, pressing his lips to your head.

"I'm so sorry I scared your Princess. I never wanna hurt you baby.... I fucking hate it... I'm supposed to protect you... I made you cry..."

He holds your tighter and his breath shudders, so you grip his soft muscles and skim your hands up and down his body. "Daddy" you whisper, "you don't...you didn't hurt me Daddy, I promise..." He grunts a little but you just squeeze him tighter. "Daddy listen... I mean it..."

He hmms again and you move back a bit to look at him. You stroke his chest and face, wondering what to do, how to take care of your perfect daddy. Suddenly you smile and press a kiss to his cheek.

"Come on Daddy, I'll make you feel better..." He lets you drag him over to the big shower and watches as you turn the water on, smiling as you jump at the cold water, humming until it turns warm. Your outstretched hand guides him into the stream of water and you smooth your hands, guiding channels down his skin.

Taking a loofah and some of your fanciest soap and rub it all over him and you in the process. It doesn't take long before you are the bubbliest people in the world. As you wash, you ask him to pick his favourite things about you, and you pick your favourite things about him. He grips your waist gently, keeping himself grounded as you whisper pretty things and tell him how much you love him.

The water washes away bubbles and discomfort. You do your best to dry him off with a fluffy towel, but you are getting a little worn out now. Daddy is finally feeling more himself too, and takes up the task of drying you both off.

When you both slip into bed you are both wondering what to do but the exhaustion of the night takes over. It can wait till morning.

💙

You wake up to his kisses on your face, you both smell of your chosen shower gel and you feel absolutely warm and safe.

You spend the morning in bed, discussing safe words and perhaps a new way of expressing discomfort when words are hard. That makes you both happy. And he thanks you with endless kisses and praise for taking such good care of him when he was feeling sad.

You spend the rest of the morning tucked up with him in bed, and the worries of the night before have long gone....

[lizzieisright]

Moon peppers (4)

(1) (2) (3)

Palestine: what can you do

were!Abby x witch!reader

Summary: Abby runs away from her (former) pack and into your forest. You're not happy with your new (woods?)mate.

Tags: fantasy au, sloppy worldbuilding (fuck it we ball), fem!reader, alpha!abby, witch!reader (so not an omega), sentient forest, stubborn idiots in love who annoy each other.

Notes: how do I keep hating the witch after she saved my life asking for a friend

Taglist: @abbysbae @poxismind @sidefanficaccounttohidemyshame @pjmispunk @herdelreydear @lmaoo-spiderman @littletinyladybugs (if you want me to tag/untag you for the whole series dm me please)

-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Your morning is.. odd. You expected yourself to forget how to control so much magic, but instead it feels better than the last ten years you spent being weak. You really couldn't live like this: it made you feel vulnerable and helpless, and now that your power is back, you feel like yourself again.

In a way it terrifies you. Because you were a completely different person ten years ago, and now you don't want your old habits back. You don't like seeing your tattoos and runes, especially the ones on your forearms, but you try your best to make peace with it. Your tattoos have almost nothing to do with your power - they're just channels for your magic, a spellbook engraved in your skin. They were faint before yesterday, fading away as your powers grew weaker, but they were still there, and they will not disappear until you die. You have to accept it, and maybe, if you don't make stupid decisions this time, you'll change your heart about them. 

You meditate before breakfast to manage your flow of magic exactly like Caitlyn showed you, even though you expect the wolf to wake up at any moment and trash your still room. But the wolf is asleep - you can feel it through the bond, which is annoying: you don't like having your space disturbed like this. You're sure the wolf won't like it too. You concentrate on the bond between you to see how well the healing is happening and it makes you groan - fat chance it will be finished by the evening, with this pace it will take a whole damn week. The thought of spending more than a day with the wolf makes you depressed.

Abby wakes up. This fact alone shakes her to her core: she is not dead. She is supposed to be dead, what the fuck? More than that, she feels almost okay - she is not supposed to feel mostly okay, she fucking died! She knows this, because no way in hell she hallucinated having her throat ripped out. 

Then Abby opens her eyes, tries to move - and goes into survival mode. She is in a still room and she is restrained. All her paws are chained and she can't move. This is worse than death. Oh god, this is so much worse. 

Abby tugs on her chains with all her power, but they down even bulge. Abby growls and coils and tries again, but she only hits the wall with her back. Abby starts to panic: she can't stay here - the fucking witch bound her! She is in debt to the witch! She needs to leave before you come and order her to do something horrible. 

Abby tries again, but this time the door to the still room opens and Abby sees the creepy glowing eyes of yours. Abby starts to move around even more violently - she doesn't want you anywhere near her. You're one of the rare monsters of this world and she needs to either get away from you or to kill you, but she is not staying here. The moment she is free she will rip you to shreds. 

At least you look scared when you enter the room and you keep the biggest distance possible from her. Abby growls and snarls, clasping her jaws around the air, eager to kill you. 

“It's not what it looks like.” You blurt, your arm in the air as if you want to tell her you came in peace. 

Abby growls louder. 

“Listen, I'll free you if you calm the fuck down and turn into human form so we can talk.”

Abby is so angry she doesn't even consider the possibility of calming down or pretending to calm down. 

“Or I can force you to turn into a human.” You say in a shaky voice, as if you're yourself scared of this possibility. 

This actually makes Abby stop. She doesn't want you near her, so she needs to pick the least of two evils. Abby growls and starts to change, her fur disappears and her bones rearrange. The chains tighten around her human wrists and now she is sitting on your floor, glaring at you, her shirt ripped on her sides and her pants dirty.  

“Thank you. I will explain everything and then I'll free you, okay?” Abby just growls at you again. 

You swallow hard: the wolf is even scarier as a human. The woman is big and strong and her claws are out still, her arms are bulging with muscles, and the way she looks at you doesn't help you calm your nerves. Her shirt is red from blood and it only makes her look scarier. You clear your throat and start speaking.

“Yesterday I found you dead, and the woods wanted me to save you. So I did. Right now you're still in the process of healing and if you go too far away from me, the energy will stop coming and you will die. This is why I brought you here. I also knew you would want to kill me or you'd run away, so I chained you. Now, please make peace with the fact that you're stuck with me for a while and then I will release you. Good? Good.”

Abby growls, humbled. She doesn't want to make peace with it, but you do sound logical. And you're still scared of her, which is a good sign: maybe you won't have the guts to hurt her. 

“Am I blood bound to you?” Abby growls and you look offended and angry, which confuses Abby. And also amuses. 

“Fuck you.” You spit. “Not all witches are like this, you ungrateful beast. The only bound you have is the energy one that heals you. After that you're free to leave and please don't ever see me again. Jerk.”

You flick your fingers for the chains to disappear and stomp out of the still room. You knew this werewolf was an asshole, but holy fuck! 

The wolf stomps after you.

“It would not have happened if you didn't take all the moon peppers!” The woman argues and follows you to the kitchen. You turn around and stare at this ungrateful, entitled shit of a wolf. 

“First of all, as if a bunch of moon peppers would have saved you from getting your throat ripped out!” You snap back and get into her face, angry and stubborn. “Second of all, maybe if you didn't fucking attack me and talked to me instead I would have shared some of them!” You flip your arms around in frustration.

“Because witches are famous for being helpful and kind.” The wolf snarls at you and you can't believe the audacity of her. 

But she is also right. She did have all the reasons to attack you and not trust you. You calm down a bit and take a step back. 

“It's still idiotic to attack a witch. I might've not been so nice.”

“You were shitting your pants in fear.” The wolf deadpans.

“As if I wouldn’t find a way to get my revenge without a direct attack. You're exceptionally stupid.” You huff and the wolf growls. “You took my friend's den, covered it in blood and attacked me. Do you comprehend what I could have done if I wanted to? You know why witches use blood binding? Because it  makes us stronger.” You hiss sadistically into the blonde's face.

For a second there's fear in the wolf's eyes, and some part of you feel satisfied. The other part, though, feels disgusted with you. You take a breath. 

“I'm sorry. You just really pissed me off being so stubborn about your own safety.” You sigh and rub your face. 

The silence falls and you go to the kitchen to cook some breakfast for yourself and for this stupid wolf: after all, you will be stuck together and if someone will be nasty and poison the shared time, it won't be you. 

Abby blinks. She feels lost. She expected you to be some kind of creep or a sadist, even if you were afraid of her; and she knew you could've bound her - that's exactly what she thought happened. But she didn't expect you to actually be nice. Well, relatively nice: you chained her for her own good, then threatened her and now you just apologised to her, and Abby feels like a fool if she continues being mean to you. She really doesn't have any ground to mistreat you except some rumours and her awful, but limited experience. She only met one witch before. 

Well. She can play nice too. 

“I'm Abby.” Abby says grumpily, still not ready to believe you: you just threatened to bind her, for god's sake!

You hum and tell her your name as well while you cut vegetables with aggressive vigour. Abby assumes you're imagining cutting her into pieces. 

It's awkward. It is really, really awkward. You're obviously still frustrated and Abby doesn't burn with desire to talk to you either. Plus she is in your home and she definitely doesn't know where to put herself. She settles for a stool near you. Abby stares at your back and your arms silently, and then she is hit with the realisation. 

“You didn't have tattoos before.” 

You smirk sadly. 

“Yeah, well. Before that I didn't have to revive a whole werewolf.”

“Why did you do it?”

“Ask the forest. They made a deal with me.”

How calculating, Abby thinks. Also: how the fuck do you deal with a forest?

“So you still do deals.” 

“It's different.” You say sharply. “I don't blood bind.”

“I get it.” Abby huffs and backs off: a witch who doesn't like blood binding, might be a goddamn oxymoron. “So for how long am I stuck with you?”

“Three days, probably. Maybe more, depending how fast you'll heal.”

“I heal fast.”

“Don't compare your usual healing with coming back from the dead. Who knows how much of your brain died. That's why you can't be far away from me. You go away, you break the bond, your brain dies. Got it?”

Abby hums. She has never heard of anyone being able to revive someone. She thinks you know some old forbidden magic if you can bring people back, and it just doesn't match with what she sees: a scaredy cat who lives in the woods and has to spend hours fishing to get three fish. Your home is cosy and warm, with a lot of natural light and Abby doesn't understand how you could have saved her life: you’re soft and weak and live in a house suited for some kind old lady, not a witch who could bring people from the dead. How much fucking power a witch would need to even do that?

“How far is too far?” 

“If I stay here and you go beyond my shields, you're dead.”

Abby sighs, annoyed. She doesn't want to stay next to you for three days. She is somewhat grateful for being alive, but it's weird. It's very weird to be in one space with you. 

You place two plates and sit opposite of Abby. Abby looks at her plate and wants to hesitate, to think, but she is so fucking hungry she starts eating right away. 

It's not…bad. Edible. (God she will have to eat like this for three more days?)

You watch the wolf- Abby's face and can't help your smile. Unfortunately you're very familiar with the fact you can't cook - Cait and Vi tried it once and since then you don't host dinners anymore; sometimes Cait sends you back with food - but you didn't expect the wolf to be so sensitive to your food. You eat it just fine after all. 

“It's bad.” You laugh. 

“It is.” Abby agrees. “Did you do it on purpose?”

“What? No. My taste senses are just fucked up by a lot of potions.”

You see how Abby tenses and you sigh: it's strange to have your everyday life being seen as some kind of horror story. There's a lot of rumours about witches that are mostly true, but you don't think of Abby as a mindless, uncivilised beast even though she is a were, so there should be room to believe that some witches are not that bad. 

(You think of your past and feel ashamed: it's not like you were “not that bad” all your life). 

“Don't tell me you've never drunk a potion.” You try to appeal to Abby's own experience, but you know she might have a bad one. “From coughing? Pain killers? Never?”

“Are you saying witches brew them?” Abby smirks like you're ridiculous. 

“Well, yes. We sell them for money, that's how everyone gets them.” 

Abby is silent as she chews your food that you think is quite edible, actually - but she drinks her flower milk with every spoon and you take a wild guess she can't stomach it. 

“Okay, listen. Are you a good cook?”

“Yes, actually. Everyone with enhanced senses makes a good cook.” Abby says with pride and you see her blue eyes sparkle. She also has freckles. Which is kinda cute. 

“Then you can cook whatever you want and not suffer.” You offer. 

Abby frowns at you like she expects some kind of trickery. You sigh again and raise your hands in defeat. You tried. 

“Do you have any meat?”

“...No.”

“And I can't hunt.” Abby explains to you like you're stupid. You roll your eyes. 

“There's fish in the freezer. It should be fine.” 

That's how Abby spends her afternoon: cooking fish. She has to ask you for other ingredients and you send her to your still room, which makes her shiver. It's creepy - just like you are with your eyes and tattoos and potion drinking or whatever - and Abby thinks of people trapped in these still rooms and being experimented on. She is happy she doesn't see any kind of animal parts on your shelves. You're out of the house for the most part: when Abby looks out of the window, she sees you sitting on the ground, absolutely still. Weirdo. 

“At least this weirdo is harmless compared to her kin.” Abby says to herself while she cuts the fish.  

You also saved her life and didn't ask for anything in return - not counting leaving you alone after - and Abby really struggles to keep thinking of you as a monster. You don't seem half-bad. And she should make friends here, now that she doesn't have a pack. The thought of being friends with a witch actually makes Abby laugh out loud.

After lunch, which is spent mostly in silence except for your praise on Abby's cooking, you tell her you'll be in the still room and that she can find something to be busy with. You point at books and yarn. Abby rolls her eyes. 

She has absolutely nothing to do. Her instincts are going crazy as well: your home looks like it needs an alpha. You're not an omega, and you don't need Abby's help, but she feels like she'll go insane if she doesn't fix something. She fights her urges, but after an hour she gives up and sharpens your knives. It makes her feel easier and she can read in peace now. 

You come back in a few hours and sit on the opposite end of your sofa, exhausted. Abby doesn't look at you. 

“Tomorrow I'm supposed to go to the village for my check ups. You'll have to come with me.”

Abby frowns. She doesn't want to show her face in the village - what if some of her former packmates are still around and will notice her? 

“Can your deals wait?” You sigh loudly, annoyed: can this wolf be nice for one fucking minute or is Abby trying to establish some kind of hierarchy in your house?

“I am a healer.” You deadpan, tired of dealing with Abby’s shit. “People need me.” 

“It's not safe for me to show up like this.” Abby scrunches her nose.

“I guess it’s connected to the fact that you were dead yesterday.” You say and Abby can only nod. “I can hide you, if you want. There's a spell that will not let people recognise you if they mean harm.”

Abby coils back. She doesn't want any fucking spells to be put on her! But in a second she clears her head and thinks about it: she clearly doesn’t have a choice if she wants to survive. And you offer her help, so maybe it’s not too bad. 

“How can I know you're not fucking with me?” You blink and Abby tries not to look you in the eyes: you look like an owl. And not in a cute way. 

“Can't you smell if I lie? I know weres can smell emotions. Also, the bond we have can make you feel awful if I try to harm you.”

Abby hums, thinking it over.

“Okay. But if you try any funny business, you're dead.”

“You'll be dead too, idiot.” You roll your eyes at Abby and she rolls hers in return. 

The wolf is kinda annoying. You can understand her distrust, but her threats are getting ridiculous. 

The last step of this strange and mostly unpleasant day is getting ready for bed. You look at your small sofa and try to think how Abby will fit, but the other option is the floor, which you assume she won't appreciate. You give her the choice anyway, Abby looks between the sofa and the floor like it's a hard choice, like she thinks the floor is a valid option. Then she agrees to sleep on the sofa. (I'll turn back if I'm uncomfortable, she tells you.) You bring her a pillow and a few blankets: the nights are getting cold and you usually use your magic to keep the hut warm, but you can slip up when you sleep, and wake up to a freezing house. 

“Why don't you use wood like normal people?” 

“It's too much work. I can find a tree that fell, but you need to chop it, bring it here, chop more, store the logs. Nah. Magic is easier.” 

Abby huffs. 

“So you rely on your magic all the time.”

“And you rely on your senses and strength.” You deadpan. 

Abby doesn't say anything in return, having no valid arguments. You sigh and make a circle with your hand, turning all lights off, and then you show Abby where the candle is in case she needs some light for her reading. Abby nods and you wish each other good night. 

You both can’t fall asleep for a long time, too bothered by each other: you don’t like having Abby in your home after she has been so nasty to you for the reason of “the witch”, and Abby doesn’t like being in your home for the reason of, well, “the witch”. She is alive, and she should be happy, but your presence is a constant threat and she can’t let herself fall asleep. You can’t fall asleep because you feel Abby, her life energy like a giant bright light in your living room and it’s hard to ignore it. You try to meditate but it seems to make you even more energised. 

You fall asleep when it’s so dark you can’t see anything beyond your windows. Abby falls asleep five minutes later.

[mirai-e-jump]

UTB (Up to Boy) Magazine, February 2024 Issue (Vol.334) ft. Hirakawa Yuzuki Interview and Photo Shoot (translation below)

Publication: December 22, 2023

Immovable Upside

Currently appearing in "Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger," the currently airing Super Sentai series, actor Hirakawa Yuzuki-san makes her second appearance in our magazine. She's changed her hair, having it cut into a shorter style, as she presents her pure and mature duality, which has become even more transparent.

-We've been rushing through the year-

"You've cut your hair short, and your look is totally different from the last time we saw you. Personally, how do you feel about your current short hairstyle?"

Hirakawa: Before I started acting, I always kept it short, so it somehow feels nostalgic. I cut it because of my role, but I thought it was abit of a waste since it's been that long for about 5 years (laughs). Still, I think it'll be fine since it grows quickly.

"Starting from episode 27, the second chapter of King-Ohger is set two years later. We think the change in hairstyle made it easier for you to make changes in your performance."

Hirakawa: That's true. I think I'm able to show more strength. I think that after two years, they're more aware and prepared as a king, and that they have a greater sense of responsibility.

"Now that the story has progressed considerably, are there any memorable moments from the episodes that have been broadcast so far?"

Hirakawa: In episode 25, the sense of distance between Rita and their retainer Morfonia, or rather, the values of their relationship have become much closer. It was a time where Rita gathered the courage to take another step forward on their own, so that episode left quite an impression on me. From there, the way they interacted with Morfonia changed completely, so I think it was a turning point for them. Also, in episode 38, they reveal the face they've been hiding up until that point, and showed all kinds of facial expressions as an "idol," so I hope you enjoyed it.

"It's already aired, so if you haven't seen it yet, please catch up and watch it…..! By the time this magazine comes out, filming for the final episode will be underway, right?"

Hirakawa: In about another month or so……"We've got such a long time before it starts!," is what I thought, but only for a moment. I think it was more instantaneous after the Summer film ended. Until then, we weren't used to filming, and everyone was in a state of just trying to figure things out. The cast members have been good friends since the beginning, but since we spent alot of time together, including during the regional promotional campaigns for the Summer film, we became even closer, and that time really flew by.

"For those who view things similarly, the "loss" seems to be intense."

Hirakawa: It might be because me and the rest of the cast are starting to become aware of the end, or maybe it's because some fans are also like, "It's coming to an end….?" I still go out to dinner with all the cast members after filming, so I think we'll still probably see each other again ever when it's over. We've been together for a year and we've gotten to know each other very well, so when I imagine the end of filming, I feel incredibly sad.

"As a fan, I'm going to miss seeing everyone's friendly conversations on Toei Channel very much……Now, 2023 will soon come to an end, looking back, what kind of year was it?"

Hirakawa: We've really been rushing through the year. I've been working hard during the filming of King-Ohger in order to make it better and to help myself grow. I was able to experience many things this year, as there were quite a few jobs that came about as a result of King-Ohger, and it was the most thrilling year for me as a performer. Of course, there were many things I worried about, but I think it was also an extravagant year, filled with many happy and frustrating experiences.

"What kind of year do you want 2024 to be?"

Hirakawa: I think I'll be apart of King-Ohger until the first half of the year, when we perform at G-Rosso, but after that, I'll have to move forward on my own. I'd like to "polish" my inner self and become a more appealing person. As for my work, I'll do my best to continue to appear in productions without taking any breaks inbetween.

[artificialcorby]

Beware, spoilery content for MW3

I'm sitting at the counter of my kitchen, crying into my thoroughly weighed high protein / high carb (and low flavour) lunch bowl. And no, that's not the reason I'm crying.

Ever since I turned on my (back then) PS3 and started up this new first person shooter game called Modern Warfare, I felt a deep connection with this then mute character.

I was the F.N.G. The fucking new guy.

Long before I had the words (I only came out in 2019) I knew: That's me. That guy is more like me than any other protagonist I've ever played. Not much was known about Soap back then. And not much was known about me, the real me, either.

Fast forward to 2022. I am myself. More than I've ever been. And the ratings for the upcoming new MW2 are through the roof. I remember how much I loved the old games. I haven't played CoD in a while because the newer games weren't really for me anymore. Also life got in the way and you know how things are sometimes.

To kill some time until the release of MW2, I got a copy of the new MW (which totally went under my radar, because I was busy fighting therapists, health insurance, government agencies etc., not to mention the whole coming out) and was so happy when I saw a familiar face in the post credit scene: Soap.

I started to worry if the game would live up to the hype. But not only did it feel exactly like it felt back then. It felt even better. Mainly - for me - because it felt like picking up a part of myself I thought I'd lost. It felt like reclaiming a part of me that didn't quite feel like me back then (I suppose that doesn't make much sense to anyone but me).

Playing again as Soap reminded me of how far I've come. It was like reaching out to that younger person I was back in 2007, saying "see? this is who you're supposed to be. we made it".

Recently I've started to roleplay again. Spinning stories with other people, writing from the point of view of their favorite character. Writing as Soap, I want to make people happy. Because he is the ray of sunshine we all need.

And with the ending of the new MW3 we need it even more.

The point I'm trying to make is: I don't think people can ever overestimate how much fictional characters can mean to people. Sometimes they help us through tough phases of our lives, like a close friend. Sometimes they point out a strength in us we didn't know we had. And when they're gone, they leave a hole.

I now have to continue my way without Soap once again. Even though he will live on in the fandom. I'll still be roleplaying, writing stories, maybe putting together a proper cosplay.

In the past months, Soap brought me on a better path. I've started to workout again and to better take care of myself. Because life is now. I've even started to learn Gaelic just for the sake of it. Because I love languages.

I've always wanted to visit Scotland ever since I made my own money. Never did, sadly. Maybe that's something I'll do in the near future, too. Thanks to Soap.

That and getting a very funny tattoo to honour the memory, which I might reveal once I got it.

Of course my thanks go out to all the people who worked at the game. But a special thanks also goes to Neil, who brought our dear Soap to life. Who gave him a personality he didn't have back in 2007.

And who encouraged people to express their love for this character by sharing their work on his channel. Who even humoured us when it comes to the idea of a "less professional" relationship between Ghost and Soap.

Neil, you will never know how much this meant to us. You'll always be our Soap.

[abavo]

My thoughts on the new LMK season

With no (or at least very minor) spoilers

TLDR: Its easy to focus on the drop in quality of the visuals since we can't focus too much on the other aspects of the series due to the language barrier, the english fandom will likely start having a more positive reaction to the season when the eng version drops and we can focus on character interaction and story.

RIP The YT channel hosting the episodes I will edit this post if it comes back up or someone reuploads them.

I'm probably gonna talk about the animation the most as I'll have to wait for the eng version to come out before I can talk too much about the story.

Also all of this is my opinion if you don't agree that's fine, make your own post with your thoughts.

Like most people, I don't really like the new animation, which sucks because WB is capable of good animation (some really good animation) but because LMK wasn't designed for puppet animation and WB was likely pushed to get this season out, the quality suffered. Some of the animation looks pretty good but a lot of it is stunted and some characters look out of place. It also doesn't help that a lot of older animation was reused (for flashbacks and such) which makes it a lot harder to adapt to the new animation style.

I'm not one to notice mistakes in animation so I wasn't taken out of the experience every time a character is off model but if you are you might have a hard time watching it.

The 3D models are also especially rough this season, there's one that keeps appearing (likely due to a tie in set) but it looks bad and it's really jarring

But I think "give workers more time to create higher quality products" is like, the coldest take in the world and I think most people wish FB had stayed or a studio that works with hand drawn animation was picked as a replacement. I think WB can do some great stuff and if they animate the next season I'm sure it will look better and I hope that lego will give the studio more time to work to achieve that polished look.

Pacing is a potential problem I'm noticing as well. I feel like some characters show up for like a minute and then disappear which is fine for some cameos of fan favorites but its frustrating when new characters that showed up in the trailer barely had any screen time (it really sucks because some of them are really cool looking! and I wanted to see more of them)

I can't talk too much about characterization but there are some things that definitely feel out of character, most notably something that happens towards the end of episode 1, I've seen some people refer to this as fandomization of the character but I'd need to wait for the eng version to come out before I can say yes to that. I think it's much more likely they just needed that character to do something and figured it could be a way to show how that character has changed although I do think it needed more buildup maybe that will change when I actually understand what's happening though lol.

Other than that I think the characterization is mostly intact (again will need to see the eng version) but its the same writers so I don't see why characters would act strange. There does appear to be some super interesting stuff that happens towards the end can't wait to figure out what thats about.

Plot is hard to follow (again language barrier) but seems fun if a little generic, I can't talk too much about it because I don't really know whats going on and this is spoiler free

New characters seem fun! Wish I knew what they were saying though! I wish some of them stuck around a little bit longer as some of them are only shown for a few minutes which again sucks! because some of them have really cool designs and I would have liked to see more of them.

[inkabelledesigns]

I know I'm posting a day late here, but Happy Birthday Bendy! February 10th, 2024 marks the 7 year anniversary of when Bendy and the Ink Machine came out. And boy, has it been a wild ride. Normally I would reserve this for my Bendy sideblog, @angelofthepage , but I'm posting it here because this is where I started years ago, and I want some of those people who don't see that blog to have a chance to see this. Because you guys are a part of this story.

In about three months, seven years ago, I was in finals hell, working through my process book for my packaging design class in one of the dorm lounges while my roommate had taken the room for herself again. And the only thing keeping me sane was putting Can't Be Erased and Build Our Machine on loop as I worked. BATIM only had two chapters out, and I didn't know everything about it, but I was so intrigued by what its deal was. I took one look at Sammy Lawrence and I wanted to know everything about him. Something about this barely started game, the idea of your characters coming to life to kill you, it thrilled me, intrigued me. It was something I was really afraid of, being so attached to my characters and putting so much of my identity in my art. And while the story isn't really all that much about cartoons themselves being alive, it gave me something else that ended up changing my life.

Over that summer, I would become obsessed, and for the first time in years, I let myself be a fangirl again. And maybe one day I'll pull up the timeline and tell you how it all went down. But right now, after all the celebrating of yesterday, I just wanna take a moment to appreciate the last seven years. All the people I've met, all the friends I've made. All the experiences we've had together, big and small. Some have been incredibly close, and others have been people I still smile about whenever I see them on my feed, even if we're not all doing stuff in the same fandom anymore. There's some people I've fallen out of touch with that I likely won't ever see again that I miss. There's some I'll be lucky if I never see again. There's the official voice actors for Dark Revival, which I've had the pleasure of working with on community things here in the fandom. I regularly moderate their livestreams (or Lovestreams as we call them) where they sign prints and interact with us fans (and sometimes I'm tech support, once an ink machine technician, always an ink machine technician xD). I'm honored to call a lot of them my friends, we've had some truly wonderful conversations. I've spent a lot of time in a variety of servers, trying to uplift people and make for a positive fandom experience for everyone, fans old and new. Sometimes it lands me in interesting places, like helping out over on the Inky News channel. The host, Brandon, invited me over to guest star on his anniversary stream yesterday, and in the past I've been fortunate enough to showcase my art on two of his interviews, one with Dave Rivas and one with Adrienne Kress. Sometimes it lands me on fun projects, like working on a fan game, and for the first time it's not as a voice actor! I'm a writer. I've had my work uplifted in turn too, meeting people who value me for me and also cheer me on when I try new things (sometimes entirely new mediums like doll customizing). I got my first helpful constructive critique in this fandom, and it was something I ASKED for. That is a huge personal milestone! I have a really complex and twisty set of feelings about critique, and finally, I feel better, because someone helped me start to unravel that just by being themselves and being thoughtful. It's inspired me to want to be better in how I handle critique and problem solving with others.

I spent so much of my life putting my self worth in other people's hands. I thought I would never be good enough to have friends who didn't treat me like garbage. I thought I'd never be a good artist in any sense of the word either. But I was wrong. I've grown. I'm valued, I'm wanted. I don't have to hide parts of myself to be desirable. Sometimes being the silly, goofy, fangirl that is Kat is enough. My art is enough, my ideas are enough, my flavor is tasty, and I am a goddamn treat. And after so many years of not knowing that, I'm glad I finally do. And it's all because of the people. It wasn't ever that my flavor was bad, it's that I hadn't found people with a taste for it yet. Bendy's greatest gift was giving me a fresh start, a chance to meet new people, good people, and for that, I'm forever grateful. Even though things have changed, I'm glad I met each and every one of you, you all taught me something valuable along the way, and I think about those experiences we shared often.

I won't lie to you, I've been rather frustrated with Bendy lately. And I think a lot of it has to do with the games not truly having grown with me. At some point our paths deviated, and there are elements of what's come and what's coming that are getting away from what really enticed me about the very first entry, the things I valued most in it. But in some ways, analyzing that has led me to figure out what made that first game so special. It was human. It was a character focused game, and each of the characters, while vague, gave us just enough about themselves that we could feel for them, get invested, imagine, maybe even sympathize. Everyone is a tragedy, but they're all different flavors of tragedy. And it was seeing people explore that, seeing people write these characters in ways that were so human, that really built a connection. For some people, Bendy is another indie horror experience. For others, it's something to indulge in that hits hard on a personal level. In many ways, it attracts a lot of us who feel like misfits. It's many things. But to me, the magic was in the people. The people in this universe, and the people in its real world community.

It has solidified my belief that people should play with fiction however they want, no matter how far it deviates from the canon, no matter how weird it is. Go be interpretive, go tell your story, go be free to make what speaks to you! (All I ask is that you're thoughtful about tagging it so people can make smart choices about engaging with it.) All stories are worth telling. Even if no one gets into it, having told it makes a difference.

Whether you're someone who's been there from the beginning, or someone that's new to Bendy, I hope you're all having fun. Whether you've finished exploring the world or you've just begun, I hope you've found something valuable. Thank you, for coming along for the ride. Here's to many more fun experiences and stories, be they official or be they in the fandom. Happy Bendyversary!

[hamofjustice]

Julinemo Week, Day 3: Study Session

(This could probably be better but this week is an exercise in just posting without being a perfectionist and I wanna go to bed, so)

The late afternoon breeze streaming through Nemona's window kept her room smelling as fresh and alive as a new adventure, as she and her favorite guest did something quite a bit less exciting: reviewing their Battle Studies homework.

Nemona was on her bed, leaving just enough space for her napping Pawmot, while Juliana and her Gardevoir were down on the plush green rug she'd picked out for Nemona the previous week (which Nemona insisted on paying for). The Battle Frontier Channel was on the big TV as familiar background noise, though Gardevoir at least seemed more interested in looking up at that than the open books.

"Uhhh… question nine… 'Which kind of Terrain protects from ailments instead of powering up attacks?'" Juliana read out.

"Oh, um… Misty Terrain! I was just thinking about that one. It might help you remember that one's different 'cause it's not called Fairy Terrain."

"Oh yeah, huh. Good point."

"It's not teeechnically correct to say it's the only one that does that, 'cause, like, Electric Terrain keeps you awake, and Misty Terrain does power up Terrain Pulse and Misty Explosion, but… I think you can safely ignore those since there's no 'none of the above' options… right?"

"Uh… nope, there's not. Wow, Mona… you know more than these books do, huh? Hehehe…"

"Heh. Nah, they're probably just tryin' to keep it simple. I've never used Misty Explosion in my life!"

"Oh. Well, I appreciate trying to keep it simple, 'cause some of these things have so many arbitrary little details to remember…"

"I know, right? I guess it's not like anybody sat down and designed 'em all elegantly like a video game, though." Nemona pointed out, before starting to tap her pencil eraser to her chin and then her temple as she looked up at the ceiling. "I wonder if Misty Explosion might be decent BECAUSE no one expects it…"

"Maybe? Mmm, I dunno…"

"I've actually gotta figure that out soon. When you get into Advanced Battle Studies like me, you'll have to--"

"IF I get into Advan--"

"WHENNN you get in, 'cause you're smart and cool and attr-- attentive, and a Champion like me, and have me helping youuu…" Nemona insisted, briefly pointing her eraser down at Juliana as if it were a threat. Pawmot kept sleeping, fully accustomed to its Trainer's volume. "… You've gotta make theme teams for all these field conditions! It's kinda fun, but… I dunno how good some of these would be. They start ya off easy with Rain, but… hmm…"

"Oh, is that what you're working on up there?"

"Eh, sorta. I've got the Psychic Terrain one for this week figured out ahead of schedule, so I'm getting started on the Misty Terrain one now."

"So you could just… not be doing homework right now, if you wanted?" Juliana prodded.

"I mean… I guess, but then I'd probably just be bored and houndin' you to go out with me. Uh, f-for battles and stuff."

"Mmm. Yeah, probably. Well… thanks for matching my pace, then."

"Always."

"Hehe… "

They both smiled at each other for a bit before getting back to work. Each of them sighed happily and gave their partner Pokemon some petting. But eventually…

"Uh… I'll be right back. Gotta use the bathroom." Juliana quietly announced.

"Mmmkay. Be my guest."

Nemona looked up from the page and gazed off into space as Juliana stepped out, but then…

"Hey, Gardevoir." she whispered.

"Devoira…?" Juliana's companion answered sleepily, turning its head up to Nemona.

"Can you… show me how Juliana feels about me?"

"Garde." the Embrace Pokemon said with a nod. It rolled its neck a bit before scooting a bit closer and reaching out to Nemona with its green hand.

"Ooh, are we gonna do a mind meld? Heh…"

Almost as soon as she took its hand, Nemona's eyes shut and brows shot up like she'd once again misread a teaspoon of Spicy Herba Mystica as a tablespoon. After a few moments, however, she seemed to become accustomed to whatever had been put in front of her mind's eye. Her expression became one of curious awe, then wholesome warmth, then giddy delight as she wiggled her feet happily behind her. She opened her eyes back up as the emotional transmission ended, needing a moment to refocus on reality. "Oh… oh man… th-thanks bud. I, uh… huh…"

"De gara, devoira."

Juliana came back into the room to find Nemona blushing and giggling, and immediately looked down at herself to try and find a reason for it, to no avail.

"Hehehehe… Hey, I think I might be moving down to the floor with you, actually." Nemona decided, picking up her book.

[being-of-rain]

I thought I'd continue my usual trend of writing my thoughts down on new Doctor Who episodes, by talking about The Star Beast. As usual, I set out to write something quick and concise, but the Wrarth Warriors busted down my door and told me that I legally couldn't.

Apparently I still have the impulse to describe Doctor Who episodes as 'fun', but by and large it's a fun show! And a fun episode! Even if I'm not as obsessed with him as a lot of fans, RTD has a charm which it's hard not to enjoy, especially with lots of little jokes and bits of physical comedy (I love little bits of physical comedy). And it's a funny episode, I was laughing from the moment the Doctor picked up a box, saw Donna, and put the box back again. Well that's not true, I was laughing from the moment I saw David Tennant just standing in green screen space like he was about to tell me the exciting new direction he intended to take the company. I'm glad everyone else seems to find that as funny as I did.

Another word I could use to describe the episode is a bit surreal. Having Beep the Meep and the Wrarth Warriors on screen was a little surreal, but strangely I found it even more so that the Doctor was walking around not knowing who Beep the Meep was. I mean obviously that was always going to be the case, but all Doctor Who mediums just live together inside my head and it was just weird to see him not recognise an iconic enemy. Maybe that was just me. Oh but Beep and the Warriors looked fantastic! It's hard to believe they're all physical effects! I really wasn't too interested in the UNIT gunfight that didn't really do much for the story, but if the new big budget lets aliens look that good then I'm fine with it. Other slightly surreal or strange things involved finally watching Doctor Who again after more than a year's break, watching it on Disney Plus rather than Australia's ABC channel, and seeing Ruth Madeley on-screen as UNIT's scientific advisor when she's also playing a companion of the Sixth Doctor in the audios at the moment.

Oh and, of course, having the Tenth Doctor and Donna back on-screen, and the TV show doing what fanfiction writers have been doing for 15 years. That was really surreal. I definitely like the two of them, but I don't have the same rampant nostalgia for their time on the show like lots of people do. I'm glad lots of people are enjoying the nostalgia aspect, but I'm also glad this is a mini-series rather than a full one. And already there's some aspects back of RTD's writing which I'm not super fond of- like conclusions that try to use technobabble and music-swelling emotional moments to smooth over the fact that some things are just happening without much cause or set-up. RTD's usually pretty good at that too- that's how the whole DoctorDonna thing started in the first place, after all- so Donna and Rose just 'letting go' of the metacrisis did feel like it fell unusually flat. Especially with it being paired with a 'women are better than men' moment which felt more like something from a Moffat script (I say this as a fan of both these writers).

Okay, that was just me trying to get all of my negatives out of the way! On the flip side, Rose inheriting the metacrisis and saving the day was a wonderful revelation, and I love that daughter/mother and loving family relationships were so important on the whole. Seeing Sylvia stumble with pronouns but still try was so lovely, as was Donna being so aggressively supportive of her daughter. And Shaun was a small role but so hilarious.

The chat outside the Tardis was great too, with Shaun dunking on the Doctor, and Donna being genre-savvy enough to stop her daughter getting into the Tardis but not enough to save herself. The new Tardis itself was a little empty to me (I'll always prefer more homely interiors) but was still extremely cool. All I want is for the show to come up with excuses for creative ways to use the mood lights. And I couldn't imagine a better ending to the episode than the console exploding because Donna spilt coffee on it, 10/10 no notes.

I know basically nothing about the next episode, and it seems that's the case for most people, so I'm terribly excited about it! It seems potentially scary spooky 👀 I'm so here for that

[humanmorph]

pal33. i kind of just wanted to post a drawing but ended up writing a ton somehow...

I didn't take a ton of notes for this. I think it's mostly because it's so cold lately I don't feel like taking my hands out of my pockets, and also I'm not great at typing while walking so I'd have to stop, which, cold again!

Keith talking about how ruminating /calms Eclectic down/ made me grasp my head. Like in disbelief. I went HUH?! out loud. I still haven't quite pinned down the exact emotion that was brought forth by, but I think it was partly a kind of the feeling that I was actively being catered to when I wasn't expecting that OR even wanted it like. I already liked the guy. This was unnecessary. And the other part was that I love it. Absolutely obsessed with this flavour of weirdguy-ism. It's so good in a... Hm. Ok I'm having Eclectic thoughts that I'll hold onto for now, but like. "good to have a character sketch" yeah it sure is!

...and here are a bunch of other Eclectic thoughts that aren't the ones I just mentioned. i did not even expect to type all this when i started

(SANGFIELLE SPOILERS IN THIS PARAGRAPH? sorry.) It IS kind of strange to have a new character coming in this late w/ how close the Blue Channel crew is... I've noted before that it's like, different to other FatT seasons were everyone is just so coworkers ever (Sangfielle being the epitome of that. To Me. "[...] and it is you standing over the body of someone you used to work with." BANGER line). Even Phrygian was weird, but in a way that fit because of who they were. What also plays into this is noone except Figure really having space for gravity clocks. Which like... obviously characters can have relationships without those, but there's a reason they exist which is like, this is so important that it has mechanical advantage, or this is something I want to explore, like that means something? And I still wish Phrygian had had more, because the one with Figure didn't even end up coming up like, basically at all. It's a shame Brnine was so popular re: clocks bc those two could've really benefitted from a gravity clock, since they were together on missions a lot with the B-Plot thing. Well and also I liked them. Sigh ok I got sidetracked. Phrygian... But yeah, it may just be that this sortie is exterbating it bc Eclectic is literally by himself fucking around disconnected from everyone going through the horrors together (and that's bonding, baby!). I don't know how much longer the season will be, and maybe the feeling I currently have, which is like "it's the Blue Channel! ...and that other guy" will change. And like if it wasn't clear I do love that other guy I think that other guy is the most immediately compelling character Keith has had (similarly to Phrygian, actually. With Phrydge it was the concept & design that really excited me (Branched!!!) and with Eclectic it's that he's literally so funny and also Keith acts him great)! And he JUST got here, so I don't wanna be unfair. But it's been kicking around in my head & I wanted to write it down at least. It's like, would /I/ like his character to have a deeper connection to the rest of the player characters? Yeah generally I guess I would. Does Keith gaf about that as a player? I don't know that, but it's probably less of an impulse for him than, say, Ali. That would be my guess as a listener, anyways. And I hope Keith is having a better time playing now! It feels like it, but then again I also had no clue that he /didn't/ with Phrygian until he said it. (Still miss Phrygian though. Which is in combat with me being actually really happy with how they end up, like it might be the most a character 'death' on FatT has worked for me (not that there are /that/ many, but still).)

Back to. the episode: Good ep! I don't have all that much to say (OK. LIE). Just a thoroughly good time in a bunch of different ways. Love the singular character focus. Also just really Fun, like, made me laugh a lot. Fun interactions between good friends and whatnot. A bit that made me laugh was at the end when Ali was trying to figure out how to be find a way through the catacombs and suggests something that Austin has this "what?? no. thats scary." reaction to. Wait I'll just get it:

ALI: [talking about navigating the catacombs] And does it involve going through one of these body holes. AUSTIN: (genuinely aghast) Oh my god! ALI: Like, are there other tunnels. AUSTIN: There are other tunnels but you never have to go through a body hole- well, I shouldn't say never. That's SO creepy.

Which then gets the very great visual of Brnine doing that. Like it IS creepy and person having to crawl through tight space IS a thing that just gets me, even though it doesn't really get focus here I can't help but immediately picturing it... I was also for some reason expecting for there to be another body blocking the way... I've said this before and then was immediately like haha jk but I'm over it I will stop pretending I'm NOT kidding. I want Figure to roll worse. I miss Gur. Can you Fail Figure? I miss my friend Gur Sevraq. It's a thin line between that and Figure dying though (I DON'T WANT THIS. Because I want them to go further as a character but also, (thought I had only recently) what happens to my friend. Name of Gur Sevraq?). Anyways Gur... "This is false. But not all false things are impossible. And many have happened before." and "This is a thing that has already happened. She has seen it." <- has me sitting down and stapling my fingers. The. Perennial. Perennial

I don't have anything to say about Brnine aside from that I love them and that Ali is on her A-game. "Brnine is. Brnine and killed the president but is still a goofy loser" like. Ok. That's everything to me

The differences in, say, Thisbe's dream vision vs. Figures is interesting. And Cori falls somewhere in the middle? Like, Figure catching on really quickly, and also being in this situation of... all their friends are dead. People fear them. Being so immediately one that they are uncomfortable in & that feels somewhat alien vs. Thisbe being in a role that she envisions for herself and as such presumably feels comfortable in? Austin seems to be playing at the hooks with the visions (& they are what got immediately affected when they entered those), and for Figure it's probably "The only way to escape the Witch is by endangering others, but they seem eager to accept the risk." that feels the most relevant there? Maybe the Witch part less so, but least Austin mentioning that Cori specifically sacrificed herself to save Figure reminded me of this just now. For Thisbe it's "Fighting is not my purpose, but there is nowhere else for me until the fighting is over.", which I already talked a bit about above, though what's super interesting to me there is that this is obviously not all that's happening. I don't quite know what to do with there being More of Thisbe / units of her type... Or how she feels about that, if any which way. Cori's is interesting too because next to her sword + shield tenets being pulled in (specifically mentioning that they should be on the defense multiple times, which Cori ignores to charge ahead!) it's also the sense of her not wanting to be... underestimated or looked down on. Which is very much the vibe with Elle as a rival btw (it's fun. I'm happy Austin is having a good time with them lol). Oh! Also Austin says something about how it would've gone bad either way (even if Cori HAD stayed back to defend), which is another difference to both of the others visions, but expecially Thisbe's. Vibes just different. Well I'm curious what'll happen there next! Brnine is coming to visit! I didn't even mean to type this much but this really is very cool to me. I'm looping back around to what Gur said, too... Wish they were here...

Oh and Cori being glad to see Figure & hugging them really got to me too. They're sweet :' ).

and finally.

#MILLIEMENTION

I'm a simple woman I hear her name and I clap and cheer. originally this drawing was at the top but then I was like nah this is for people who either read everything OR clicked the readmore to then scroll past it... either way. work for it a little. i liked how it turned out! this is currently my new favourite brush.

[bubblegumrush]

T𝕙𝕖𝕞𝕖 P𝕒𝕣𝕜 (𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏)⌇𝙼𝚊𝚔𝚘𝚝𝚘 𝚂𝚞𝚗𝚊𝚔𝚊𝚠𝚊 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛⌇𝖬𝗒 𝖫𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝖲𝗍𝗈𝗋𝗒!!

Chapter Five

You sat in the living room with Ai as you peeled small clementines with the news channel running in the background. "How long are you planning on staying for?" You asked Ai, giving her half of your clementine.

"Until Sunday evening." She took her half, sitting beside you on the floor near the coffee table. "By the way, you should come tomorrow."

You cocked a brow. "Tomorrow? To M.M. Land?"

"Yeah," she said, suddenly collapsing onto the coffee and letting out a loud sigh. "Takeo and his girlfriend are going..." She groaned into her arm.

You chuckled, comforting her with a gentle pat on the back. "Oh, Ai, I'm sure you'll find somebody as great or maybe even better than Takeo. But for that to happen, you have to move on."

She slightly lifted her head up, her eyes watery. She cried out. "I know, but nobody can compare to him... Don't worry, I won't go after him. Those two are really good together. I want them to be happy." But she swiftly shifted emotions and sat up straight with a bright-eyed look in her eyes. "Anyway! You should come; Oda's coming as well."

"No thanks; it just looks like some double date kind of thing. I don't want to be a fifth wheel between Takeo and Yamato and Oda and you." You rejected her offer, getting up to go throw away your peels. "Plus, I hate theme parks. Mascots creep me out."

Ai got up and followed you to the kitchen counter with protesting words, "Me and Oda?? Y/N, you know it's not like that between me and him!"

"Really? It seems like you're just not ready to admit it. He's already professed his love, and not long, you'll realize you like him as well." You gave her a smirk, teasing her.

"Shut up; you're coming tomorrow, and that's the end of it. AND don't you dare bring this up tomorrow." She pointed at you as you let out a laugh.

"Again, I'm not going. Don't wanna fifth wheel in your guys' date." You rejected a second time.

"C'mon, you're not going to be left alone; Makoto's going too." She informed, "You and him could be on your own little date." She winked at you and nudged you on the shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." You waved her off, not liking the idea of going with Sunakawa. It's not like you didn't like him; actually, you've gotten quite close to him these past few days. But for some reason, you felt weird. It's like, overnight, you went from strangers to close friends.

"So, is that a yes?" She asked, looking over at you with a face that said, 'Even if you say no, I'm dragging you there with me.'

"Fine. I'll go." You sighed, "But you owe me."

You lazed on the couch as you watched the series your mom left on before going off to do laundry. You sat there all day, even when Ai came for a quick drop-by. You haven't moved your butt the whole day. You started to feel yourself melt into the couch and become one with the couch.

"I'm home!" Takeo shouted throughout the house, making you jump suddenly from the tranquility you were once in.

"Welcome back!" You replied with the same energy, finally having the energy to get up and greet him.

You made your way over to the doorway when you saw a stranger standing behind Takeo.

"Hi, I'm Takeo's sister." You greeted him.

"Y/N, this is Oda. He's crashing here tonight." He said it nonchalantly. "Oda, this is my sister, Y/N." He said, turning back towards Oda.

"She is?" He asked, looking back and forth between you and Takeo, a little dumfounded.

"Aren't you Ai's friend?" You inquired, ignoring his previous comment. "I've heard a lot about you but haven't actually met you."

"You did? Was it from Ai?" He queried with a smirk. "Didn't think she actually talks about me." He said fake blushing.

Both guys went into Takeo's bedroom as you returned to your spot on the couch. You stayed there the whole evening until your dad came home. When he came home, your mom started chewing you out for staying there all day, which led you to take a breather outside as you naturally didn't leave the house all day.

"Fresh air~" you inhaled the outside air for the first time today. You leaned across the railing as you stood right outside of your house. You gazed at the surroundings, looking over at the small park next to your house, when all of a sudden you heard a door open.

You turned around to see Sunakawa. "Y/N? What are you doing out so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing." You looked over at him before returning your gaze to the small park you were observing. "I'm just basking in the moonlight. What else could I be doing?"

He smiled at you, standing next to you as he leaned his back on the railing, facing you. "I came out here for a breather too. The summer air at night is quite something to behold."

"It truly is," you said softly under your breath, suddenly not looking at the park but at him.

"So, you're coming tomorrow? I thought you hated theme parks."

"I do, but I can't go against Ai; she'll drag me even if I refuse a billion times." You let out a despairing sigh. "But it's fine; at least it's something to do, good or bad. I've been a couch potato all day; it's good for me to go out tomorrow."

"That's nice to hear. I was hoping you'd come tomorrow."

He did?

"You did?" You chocked out, mumbling your words.

"Let's get some rest. I better head in now." He stated, not catching what you mumbled. "Good night, Y/N; see you tomorrow."

He walked back inside as you let out a last minute. "Good night,"

You stood there for another twenty minutes or so, gathering your thoughts together and mentally preparing for what's to come the next day.

You slowly walked behind the group, staring off at the plentiful attractions. It wasn't often that you came out of the house during the weekends, and when you did, you would find yourself drained at the end of the day.

You stared at the roller coasters to the carousels, your ears filled with the yelling of children; it was slowly starting to irritate you. You turned back to the group to realize the group you were following was not your original group. In fact, you were following a group of complete strangers.

You cursed your luck under your breath and started reaching for your phone, only to realize...

"Fuck, Takeo has it."

You tried looking for your brother, as he was an easy landmark to spot, but to no avail. You gave up minutes after looking around.

"Maybe it's a sign that going to the theme park was a bad idea." You sighed, looking around for some kind of place to stay and not stand in the middle of the crosswalk.

When suddenly, just like in horror movies, you felt a strong grip on your shoulder, pulling you to turn around.

"Hey there! Are you lost, li'l fella?" An all-too-joyful voice that made your spine shiver just from the thought of turning around greeted you.

Truth be told, you were terrified of mascots. One of the main reasons you did not want to come on this trip. They looked so weird, especially with their soulless eyes.

It always looked like they were staring deep inside of you. You couldn't even tell if they were really looking at you or not. You knew they were just ordinary people inside of these costumes, but it's weird to see children flocking around a complete stranger.

"N-no, I'm fine, sir." You stuttered, slowly backing away, already knowing you're going to have nightmares about this interaction.

You found yourself a small bench under the shade where you planned out the rest of your day with the appearance of this new circumstance: you were going to sit there and pray for them to pass by you and finally get reunited with them once again.

"Oh, what am I doing?! There's no way they're going to pass by here again. I should just go home; there's no use in waiting." You cupped your face in your hands, your brain thinking of something to solve your situation.

You began feeling overwhelmed as your body started sweating from the anxiety you were starting to have. The noise that surrounded you seemed to only get louder as you concentrated your ears on the people around you.

Your eyes streamed tears as you tried your best to wipe them off the moment they fell, scared to let strangers see you cry. You wept silently, thanking God that you chose somewhere kind of desolate.

Even though you cried silently, only the tears streamed; you couldn't help but hear loud cries.

You stopped your weeping, feeling yourself go delusional from still hearing loud cries resembling those of a child.

You finally look up from your palms, which were drenched in your tears, and notice straight ahead a little girl, no older than three, bawling her eyes out in the middle of the crosswalk.

You awkwardly stared at her as you looked around to see no one else around. When suddenly you made eye contact with the little girl, which seemingly made her cry louder as if to get your attention.

"Why me?" You cried out, slapping yourself awake as you made your way towards her. "This is just my day." You said sarcastically to yourself.

You got closer to her, hushing her to calm down and breathe. She seemed to cool off, ceased her loud cries, and went to soft weeping.

"Hi sweetie, Are you lost?" You bent down to her level, pulling out the tissue paper you were originally going to use for yourself, and wiped her tears.

She gave you a small head nod. "I lost my mommy," she said, hiccupping between each mumbled word. Suddenly bursting into a fit of cries again.

You sighed as people that walked past you started to stare. "Um, come, let's get out of people's way."

You led her by the hand and went to the bench you sat on. "Up we go," you said, placing her on the bench as you kneeled in front of her. "Can you tell me when's the last time you saw your mommy?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Mommy disappeared, and now she's gone," she said. You felt that she was going to cry again if you continued, so you moved on.

"Ok, ok. Don't cry; we'll find your mommy. Don't worry. Just please don't cry." You begged, being careful not to trigger her tears again. "Just follow me; we'll go see if an employee can help."

You stood up, ready to leave, when suddenly you felt a tug on your arm. She held her arms up, as if she wanted you to carry her in your arms. Naturally, you obliged, picking her up.

"Is this what having a sister is like...?" You mumbled underneath your breath.

You walked around, child in arms, searching for the lost child area theme parks usually have. It's been ten minutes, and you were already exhausted carrying her, especially when she dozed off mid-way through. Now her body felt heavier.

Suddenly, a voice said from behind you, "I didn't think you'd wander this far away."

You quickly turned around, instantly recognizing that voice, "Sunakawa! Oh, I've never been so happy to see someone." You looked around to see if the others were with him, but no, he was alone. "The others aren't with you...?" you mumbled.

He quickly took notice of the child you carried, ignoring your worries. "Woah, you have a kid...?"

"Umm, yeah. Do you mind holding her for me? My arms are going numb." You gently handed her off to Sunakawa. "Don't ask questions about where she came from; I don't know either." You awkwardly chuckled at the situation.

"Where have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you." He said this, holding her up and gently cupping her head.

"I don't know, probably just wandered around looking for a way out of this place- What do you mean, "Where have you been"!? Like I had a choice about being lost. I was following you guys, and I turned around for one second, and next thing you know, you guys disappeared and were nowhere to be seen." You raised your voice at him, your voice starting to crack as you felt hurt by being abandoned by your friend. "Whatever, let's just find her parents so I can go home."

Your pace got faster as you started leading the way, while Sunakawa held his silence on what he had to say. He knew that if he'd whispered one more word, you might blow up from that anger of yours. So he followed you in silence.

You arrived at the center and told the employees about the situation you were in, and they gladly welcomed the little girl and told you that they were going to take it from there.

"They said they had it from there; we can leave now; she'll be fine." You advised Sunakawa as you made your way towards him, while he leaned against the wall waiting for you.

"Good. I'm glad she's safe. Oh, and, by the way, I called Takeo to tell him you were safe and sound. He's at the parade if you want to go see them. I know you want to go home, but you could at least stay for the parade. They say it's really amazing."

You thought about it, though you didn't see much reason for going. Today was a bad enough day that if you stayed any longer, it would just be you welcoming the bad luck to you. But something about the way he stuck around and how he was most likely the only one who looked for you made you want to stay.

"Fine, I'll go. But only because Takeo still has my phone."

He gave you a soft smile, and you smiled back, but for some reason, the moment you smiled back, his smile faded as if something had changed.

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Eye of the World: Prologue

I haven't reread the whole of the series ever (my last reread was in preparation for the finale), so with the books getting more popular and the show simultaneously entertaining me and getting my goat I figured I'd jump onto the bandwagon and maybe get some validation from internet strangers. As the title states, this is a reread, so I will be spoilering the hell out of everything, so if you're a show only fan or still working your way through the books, please run away screaming (but tell your friends!).

...

Okay now that I can no longer hear any screams, let's get into things. I first started reading The Wheel of Time in 2003 in middle school, catching up in time to read New Spring when it debuted and the subsequent novels after (except oddly, Towers of Midnight, which I didn't get around to until the finale was right around the corner, so I guess my longest reread only goes up to book 12 technically). It's probably my outright favorite fantasy world and has a lot of characters I love - in fact, at times I feel I don't quite fit into the fandom because I don't have an irrational disdain of any of the common hate sinks bar maybe Gawyn, and even then some people are making me like him a little bit more so I don't know what I'm going to do then.

That said, like most readers who came of age in the 21st century, I do have a lot of problems with Jordan's worldview. It's a rather interesting friction: the man was definitely trying to write a world without the sexism of our modern era (and to a lesser extent other prejudices as well), and yet he could never rise above them himself. I'll probably spend a lot of time talking about this kind of stuff and what might have been done instead.

Likewise, when we reach the inevitable Slog (and sorry people who didn't start reading until the series was finished, it's real), I'll be talking a lot about how the plot might be adjusted for brevity and, once we reach the Sanderson era virtually everything I want to talk about will be magnified tenfold because as much as I enjoyed his efforts at the time, I've greatly soured on him as an author in general and as Jordan's heir in specific since.

But for now, let's focus on what's important: The Eye of the World's first prologue: Dragonmount.

The palace still shook occasionally as the earth rumbled in memory, groaned as if it would deny what had happened.

As first sentences go, I'm not in love. It's not bad, but it's just a little too vague; "the palace" doesn't really give my mind's eye much to work with because they can vary so much depending on when and where they were built. It ends well though.

The dead lay everywhere, men and women and children, struck down in attempted flight by the lightnings that had flashed down every corridor, or seized by the fires that had stalked them, or sunken into stone of the palace, the stones that had flowed and sought, almost alive, before stillness came again.

Despite its length, a sentence like this would work better to me as the start. It's shocking and terrifying; this is a level of violence we won't see channelers pull off until much later in the series.

The mind-twisting had struck at the core, ignoring peripheral things.

This feels pretty on-theme for the story, really. The Shadow tries to subvert the major powers of the world but its defeat is primarily orchestrated by a bunch of farmers.

The edge of his pale gray cloak trailed through blood as he stepped across the body of a woman, her golden-haired beauty marred by the horror of her last moments, her still-open eyes frozen in disbelief.

Well I made it four quotations before we needed to talk about feminism so that's... more than I expected, really. Meet Ilyena, a character so posthumous that despite being part of a prologue 3,500 years before the main story she's still already dead by the time it starts! Obsessing over dead women is probably one of the biggest complaints this series gets and boy does it deserve it. Despite electricity being long gone, our characters have no shortage of fridges.

That said, I do want to note that as it stands in this book, things aren't that bad. In this book. See, in this book, Ilyena isn't the only victim - the children she and Lews had are also among the dead, as are quite a lot of other people who just happened to live or work in the palace or were visiting. Except for the use of LTT's title "Kinslayer", none of them will be mentioned again after this book - in fact, the non-family members are completely forgotten after the prologue. But again, that's jumping ahead. In this book, Ilyena is about providing a specific name and face to the tragedy, humanizing all of the victims by proxy in a way that, "Twelve hours after saving the world, Lews Therin went insane and killed two hundred and sixty-five people including all of his blood relatives," does not.

...brought by merchants from across the World Sea...

We talk a lot about how Jordan was too immersed in southern culture to understand how its gender roles were about as universal as Mongolian throat singing, but not enough about how he's too immersed in globalized petro-fascist markets based on maximizing inefficiencies for the global elite to use to extract wealth to understand why a real planetary utopia living in harmony with nature wouldn't be shipping luxury goods across the ocean when there's perfectly fancy fabrics to make at home and anyway the Green Men should be able to help silkworms thrive anywhere if you're that desperate for something breathable.

On the other hand, points to him for not going crazy about Gateways and assuming that all global trade could be handled by teleportation just because they're a fun tool. I will have a lot to say about Gateways as we approach the authorial transition.

For a moment he fingered the symbol on his cloak, a circle half white and half black, the colors separated by a sinuous line. It meant something, that symbol.

Even now though, it means something other than what it once meant (being the sign of the seals on the Dark One's prison) and before too much longer it will pick up two more meanings, one for each half. The Wheel turns and the world changes.

Behind him the air rippled, shimmered, solidified into a man who looked around, his mouth twisting briefly with distaste.

Props to Ishamael for clearly Traveling with the True Power even this early on in the series.

Not so tall as Lews Therin, he was clothed all in black, save for the snow-white lace at his throat and the silverwork on the turned-down tops of his thigh-high boots.

Thigh-high boots! <3 (Seriously Ishy how can you want to destroy the world you can express your fashion sense in?)

Also note how this contrasts the Aes Sedai symbol described earlier. There's a little bit of white though, because it can't be helped even by the Shadow.

It will soon be time for the Singing, and here all are welcome to take part.

One detail from the Sanderson novels whose origin I'm uncertain of but like regardless of who came up with it is Rand's claim that the AoL was NOT paradise and that it was rotting from within even before the Dark One got involved. The latter half of this sentence suggests one such flaw: having the Voice is a hell of a talent, but apparently there were places that did not welcome all potential Singers. This could just be a result of the War, but maybe it speaks to something deeper.

“Shai’tan take you, does the taint already have you so far in its grip?”

Ish here is mostly pissed that he doesn't get to enjoy his gloating, because for all his talk about nihilism, he is petty first and foremost.

Dangerous for you, fool, not for me.

Ironically, all things considered it's really the other way around - Shai'tan is no threat at all to the Dragon soul and will utterly ruin Ish by the end. Ish really isn't anywhere near as clever as he makes himself out to be, he just looks smart because he's the last survivor of Academia.

“So you do remember some things. Yes, Betrayer of Hope. So have men named me, just as they named you Dragon, but unlike you I embrace the name.

This is an odd detail, all things considered. LTT's fatal flaw was pride (this very prologue says as much), so why wouldn't he be proud of a flattering name? I wonder if we get any more details on this in the books or if it's just a little detail that was lost in the shuffle.

But it is not enough. You humbled me in the Hall of Servants. You defeated me at the Gates of Paaran Disen. But I am the greater, now. I will not let you die without knowing that. When you die, your last thought will be the full knowledge of your defeat, of how complete and utter it is. If I let you die at all

See what I mean about Ish? This is not the behavior of someone who is tired of existence and wants everything to end, it's the behavior of a dude with a petty grudge that he dresses up in fancy terms and fancier boots.

[Ilyena] will give me the rough side of her tongue if she thinks I have been hiding a guest from her. I hope you enjoy conversation, for she surely does. Be forewarned. Ilyena will ask you so many questions you may end up telling her everything you know.

Quick, name a female WoT character that Jordan doesn't think this description applies to! Can it be done? I doubt it. Another common criticism is that for all of his 3,000 characters, all of the women were just his wife. I don't think it's quite true, but I do think that the women he knew well were all cut from pretty much the same cloth.

“A pity for you,” he mused, “that one of your Sisters is not here.

This is another oddity. AoL healing required all five kinds of weaves and they didn't divide things up by gender anyway, so why wouldn't a Brother suffice? There's plenty of male Aes Sedai who haven't gone crazy at this point, and it's been only a couple days at most so you wouldn't think people would have time to reflexively assume men wouldn't be helpful. Is this another kind of healing that works better when you do it cross-gender? Maybe Towers of Midnight mentioned that?

Helplessly he convulsed, thrashing, his skull a sphere of purest agony on the point of bursting.

Good to know that every incarnation of the Dragon suffers horribly for no good reason, I guess. Rand's nihilism is a lot more understandable to me than Ish's is, considering how little suffering the latter actually endures.

“You can have her back, Kinslayer. The Great Lord of the Dark can make her live again, if you will serve him. If you will serve me.”

"Your kids are fucked though. We put their souls in vacuoles and then jettisoned them towards Sindhol, so we can't fix that even if we wanted to. Also you balefired half of them repeatedly, we think. Hard to be sure because there's no record of them left except some silhouettes on that doorway over there."

(More seriously, they're being left out right now because LTT isn't cognizant of their demise, making this the only excusable omission.)

“Ten years your foul master has wracked the world. And now this. I will. . . .”

Plus a whole century of societal collapse, but I guess RJ hadn't come up with that detail yet. Hell at this point maybe Shai'tan was still supposed to be ET's son.

You and I have fought a thousand battles with the turning of the Wheel, a thousand times a thousand, and we will fight until time dies and the Shadow is triumphant!

Ish says this and the fandom as a whole treats it as true but... we don't actually know this! Third Agers often state that they HOPE to be reborn, which suggests that's it's possible the Wheel stops reincarnating some souls (replacing them, presumably) - and who better to retire than the people who stop being grateful for existence and start actively trying to undermine you?

Further, Rand's epiphany is about how despite the crushing cycle of everything, anyone can still hope to live a better life - there's no guarantee that Ishamael falls to the shadow every time, or that he ever has before or will again! Hell, he could just repent even after he falls. Bro has choices, he just refuses to see them.

His own sons and daughters, sprawled like broken dolls, play stilled forever.

This is actually another odd detail. I don't know how Aes Sedai fertility works, but while it's not implausible that LTT & IS could have children who were of the age where their play is the most notable thing about them, they should also have kids old enough to have grandkids by now! Lews' murders could potentially number in the hundreds without starting on the servants and faithful companions.

Also note that while Ilyena's demise horrified LTT and left him with nothing to live for according to the narration, it isn't until he sees that he's killed all of these people he loved that he actually tries to commit suicide. This is the sort of thing that's completely neglected going forward, but it is nice that things were a little more complex than him finding his girlfriend in the fridge and his mom in the oven.

The land around him was flat and empty. A river flowed nearby, straight and broad, but he could sense there were no people within a hundred leagues.

This is a pretty subtle sign of just how much death the last ten years must have entailed: the Erinin is flowing through a temperate part of the planet (there being no indication that the Earth's axis was significantly affected by the Breaking) yet there are no cities nor farms within a hundred leagues. By all rights there should be, but now they're gone. One can see why balefire was banned.

He did not believe it could come, forgiveness. Not for what he had done.

Maybe it's just my own weird moral code speaking but I think stuff one does while literally and entirely involuntarily corrupted by the source of all evil shouldn't really count against them. Obviously he's in shock, but it seems like something that carries on into Rand's behavior as well and it's a little depressing that in a series about free will vs. determinism there's such a common attitude that the stuff you're doomed to do regardless counts against you more than the things you had a choice in.

Because in his pride he had believed that men could match the Creator, could mend what the Creator had made and they had broken. In his pride he had believed.

And he wasn't wrong to believe that, he just did it wrong and doesn't consider that there might be other approaches. Tunnel vision is a real affliction in this series.

Only a heartbeat did the shining bar exist, connecting ground and sky, but even after it vanished the earth yet heaved like the sea in a storm. Molten rock fountained five hundred feet into the air, and the groaning ground rose, thrusting the burning spray ever upward, ever higher.

No denial on the earth's part here, just straight up compliance.

Of Lewis Therin Telamon, no sign remained. Where he had stood a mountain now rose miles into the sky, molten lava still gushing from its broken peak.

Now imagine a million more dudes doing this and you start to see why the Breaking was as destructive as it was.

Then [Ishamael] was gone, and the mountain and the island stood alone. Waiting.

Presumably Ishamael went off and told someone about LTT's suicide before being vacuum sealed for a millennium and change, cuz otherwise there's no way people would know what Dragonmount was.

The oceans fled, and the mountains were swallowed up, and the nations were scattered to the eight corners of the World.

The west, the Waste, Shara, the sea, the Mad Lands, north Seanchan, southwest Seanchan, and southeast Seanchan. There, we've turned what was obviously an odd turn of phrase into a literal statement with all eight items acccounted for!

Let the Prince of the Morning sing to the land that green things will grow and the valleys give forth lambs. Let the arm of the Lord of the Dawn shelter us from the Dark, and the great sword of justice defend us. Let the Dragon ride again on the winds of time.

Well Rand did most of those things, but I don't remember any lambs, so I guess really he lost the war and the whole of the epilogue was a taunting dream the Dark One wove for him to distract him.

(God I hate those kinds of theories. If your assumption is that nothing is true, your theory is dumb and you should feel bad.)

From Charal Drianaan te Calamon,The Cycle of the Dragon.

So a lot of people talk about the conlanging in this setting and I just want to point one thing out: the fact that we go from the Old Tongue in the AoL to this New Tongue in the Fourth Age suggests very, very strongly that Randlanders are not inexplicably speaking English or anything close to it but something in between the two fake Tongues. We have a clear transition from things like "Telamon" and "siswai'aman" to "Calamon" for example, that dragon doesn't really fit into except as a distant ancestor/descendant.

Anyway, that right there is the prologue! I would compare and contrast it to Amazon's adaptation, but I cannot because they have not adapted this sequence yet. It's something of a shame, because I think the prologue is very important for making it clear that we're not actually doing a Tolkien-esque story like the early chapters suggest, but after seeing Winter Dragon I can also sympathize with not wanting to lead with this. That said, I am deeply depressed we couldn't keep Billy Zane and hope against hope that Rafe will find a role for him to be crazy in.

The TV show does do a sequence set in the AoL, but it's closer to being an adaptation of part of The Strike at Shayol Ghul than anything else, so I will hold off until we get there after A Crown of Swords.