#But whatever! I'm allowed to do whatever I want.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
This except like
I do things that seem like attention seeking behavior to avoid attention, actually.
I wear slutty clothes so people will stare at my legs or my tits or my body harness or garter belt ribbons hanging down and not pay attention to me.
Too busy being horny for my clothes to see me.
I say provocative things so people ask about them and are distracted from trying to bother me in the here and now.
Too busy being outraged.
I give people compliments so they do all the talking and go on and on about something that makes them feel cool or happy so they don't bother me.
Too busy with their own ego.
I behave in ways that embody what other people want me to be so they get what they want and leave me alone.
I had to be groomed by 3 years of attention= shitloads of money
To care about wanting attention.
I don't like attention but I really like not being in poverty.
I really like having shitloads of money.
You can solve almost any problem with shitloads of money.
I wish I wanted attention because it's really easy to get attention from like 90% of people. It must be really cool to be addicted to attention.
People have been telling me I do things for attention my whole life.
Actually I do things because I'm a weird little goblin child and don't know how to act.
Also because I hate when other people try to force me or influence me to do things and it makes me wanna die?
So my goal is honestly to make enough money that I can be as bizarre as I want and no one will care and if people aren't nice to me I can tell them I hope they trip and fall and impale their eyeball on a pencil and it hits them in the brain and they die and then leave the room and never talk to them again.
Attention makes me big uncomfortable because when I'm not bribing people to be nice to me with whatever it is they want they mostly are incredibly unpleasant and anytime a new person is like... smiling at me or asking me a lot of questions about myself they are usually deciding if I should be allowed to eat or how severely I should be punished or if I will be allowed to go home or if they want to give me drugs or if they're about to make a brand new rule against something that didn't exist before just so they can ruin my month. Good things happen when you put the focus on making the people around you happy and granting their wishes. Bad things happen when other people notice you exist any time you are not actively doing that.
31K notes
·
View notes
Text
Gotham New Rogue 2
It's been a few weeks since Danny started to become the Trickster. To be honest, it is working very well. His core is expanding fast as ectoplasm is regenerating faster than ever before. He is also slowly developing new abilities and gaining more control and powers to his already established abilities.
For instance, Danny used to struggle making clones, but now he can easily create dozens of them with just a thought. He can also change his clothes to whatever he imagines using ectoplasm now. His ice power is also stronger and easier to control. His superhuman body is developing and slowly getting stronger and faster.
Overall, Danny will say that make a smart decision to become a rogue especially since no one has caught him yet. Danny is currently laying on top of a building watching the sun slowly set in the horizon. His stomach suddenly grumbles and he decides to hit the shack before he gets to "work" tonight.
Jumping off the roof, Danny lands and walks to the nearest Batburger while still wearing his rogue suit. He has a totally funny idea today and it involves him being seen in public. Entering the Batburger is like entering a library for some reason. As soon as he enters, everyone goes deathly quiet.
Danny slowly walks towards the cashier and orders his food.
Danny: 5 sets of set C please.
Cashier: Ermm, that will be 60 bucks.
Danny: Here.
After paying for the food, Danny gets his food and sits at one of the tables alone. It's only after he is through his 3rd set that reality is set in for the people. They begin to move and contrary to Danny's expectations, approach him to ask for pictures. Danny allows them some pictures and unknowingly raises his status as Gotham's friendliest rogue.
Suddenly, a white man that screams rich guy, a woman with blonde hair and a black guy wearing Signal's merch approach him. Danny has learned a lot of things from his 14 years of life and 2 years of half life and Danny knows when a rich guy approaches you, it's never good (Sam doesn't have the rich vibe).
Rich guy: Hello Trickster! May we have a meal with you?
Danny: Sure.
Rich guy: Ah, how rude of me. My name is Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne. These two are my friends, Stephanie Brown and Duke Thomas. You can call me Tim by the way.
Danny: Sure, Tim.
They sit opposite him with their meals and try to make small talks with him while eating. The trio realize that Danny seems to respond a lot better when Steph or Duke is the one to ask the question.
Steph: So, Trickster. Why don't you like my friend here?
Duke: Way to go in being subtle, Steph. Why not ask who is he really next?
Steph: Hey, I can't help it you know. He seems so snarky whenever Tim asks questions. I wanna know if Tim pissed him off or something.
Danny: He is rich, right?
Duke: Err, yes?
Steph: Let's say he is. Why does that matter?
Danny: I hate rich people. And government. But who doesn't hate the government?
Duke: So, eat the rich?
Danny: Yes.
Steph: Cool cool. We are also here just so we could leech him off anyway. We're not really friends.
Tim: Ow, you hurt me by saying that. What happened to our vow of eternal friendships?
Steph: I cross my fingers.
Duke: I lie.
Danny: Hahahaha. You're like my friends.
Tim: You have friends?
Danny: Of course I have friends. And unlike you I don't need money to have friends.
Tim: Sorry sorry. Are your friends also rouges?
Danny: Wouldn't you like to know? Last I need is Batman investigating my friends. I'm sure Batman is part of you rich people group chat or something.
Steph and Duke: *Snickers*
Tim: *Glares at the two* Why would you think Batman is in contact with the rich people?
Danny: Isn't it obvious? Batman has all these high tech gadgets and is always there fast whenever a Wayne is kidnapped. I would even say Batman is being sponsored by the Wayne.
Danny: I also don't like most heroes in general. They are just the government lapdog doing whatever the government wants.
Tim, Steph and Duke frowned at that statement. From the way Danny speaks, it is clear that he has some history against the government. Him being here also means he is at least confident enough to run away if any of the bats are here. Is it just blind confidence or a truly competent ability will remain to be seen.
Tim is just about to refute him when Danny suddenly stands up. All of them tensed up and ready for battle when Danny turns towards one side of the window, waves and disappears right in front of them. They are very confused and when they turn towards the direction Danny was just looking at, they see Batman and Black Bat right on the rooftop across the building.
Batman and Tim nod to each other and they all return to the caves.
-Batcave-
Tim: So you all hear the conversation right?
Dick: Except at the end where the sound becomes blurred for a moment, we hear everything.
Tim: Good. So what are your thoughts on this?
Damian: It is pretty self explanatory Drake. He has a personal hatred towards the government and that extends to all bodies of government or people he thought is connected to the government.
Tim: But why though? Is the hatred towards the government something as simple because he is a criminal? Or is there something else towards it?
Bruce: There is nothing to find about him currently with our limited resources about him. Return to the manor for today and take some rest. We will investigate it later.
All of them return to the manor and rest for the night.
-2 weeks later-
The Trickster is standing in front of an unconscious and tied up Batman. He is giggling loudly that evolves into full blown laughter.
He takes off Batman's belt and starts to pull out stuff one after another. Soon, he found the item that he needed.
Trickster: Hahahahahahaha. I have finally got it. The strongest weapon in the world!
The batfam that is watching the live broadcast shiver as they watch Trickster holds out the black object high in the sky.
336 notes
·
View notes
Text
– Make me feel like someone else
tarot pick a pile reading
pictures from pinterest → one, two, three
There are people that we just can’t resist. A smile that is impossible to not be contaged by. A voice that is so difficult to not trust. A silhouette that we follow without even realising how easily they are taking us away from the old ways, making us see this world under such a different light… A charming person, a magnetic aura… Could it really be only a spell that makes us blind to something deeply important, something that we should be aware of but that we just can’t grasp? Is it really everything so good and easy, for once, or are we trapped in an illusion that will only hurt us...?
In a romantic, or an equally inspiring friendship, there is someone that you need to know about...
This is our fifth reading from the Divinatory Jukebox. A message that comes to us through the song “Hypnotic” by Zella Day. A faithful messenger of the universe, who waited patiently for us to hear it, to listen to what it has to say.
Although from the emotions and energy of this song I expected something much darker, heavier, even more dangerous... Now I understand that perhaps this is just the way we feel it, when we are so captivated by someone, when we want to be and are so vulnerable in front of them, giving out our heart but at the same time deep down being afraid of them tearing it apart.
Slow down for a moment. Give your conscious mind a moment of rest, allow it to step back. Instead, listen to your subconscious one, to that inner voice, to the intuition that is guiding you to the pile in which your message hides.
P.s. a little question for you ♡:
As I'm trying to improve the experience of the extended versions of our readings, it would be deeply helpful for me to know your opinion. Especially about what you would love to find in them. Just whatever is needed or that might be helpful for you to hear based on the reading and the original message you received? A more practical advice on how to handle your current situation? Perhaps a little glimpse into the future and what it holds for you, what you can expect or need to keep in mind for when you’ll live that outcome? Or, even better, all of these combined?
{ Thank you so much for letting me know!♡ }
– Pile One,
the ten of coins, the stars, the moon
After fighting with all you had, after finally escaping the chains of a connection so powerful that it convinced you to stab yourself, again and again, just for them… You really did hope that it would never happen again. That there won’t ever be someone that has so much control over you, over your heart that gives it all to the ones it loves. You hoped that you learned from your mistakes, that your scars are enough for you as a reminder, as help in being aware of all the lies and manipulations of those that try to come closer to your heart.
And yet you still felt it, you still found it, after all this time and even though you are with a different person now. That urge to be by their side, to fall for them, trusting completely that they will catch you, holding you tight in their arms, giving you a sense of protection, and at the same time a dangerous vulnerability when you are with them…
But even if you feel the need to do it, to feel it, you are resisting it. The fear, the anxiety, the doubts are overwhelming you, as you recognise in them and each their gesture, someone that you thought you’d never see again. Not in a different person, in a different connection, that you had so much hope for, but which is feeling too similar to how it used to back then...
So you are making steps back, trying to buy more time, to understand how it could happen that after all of that you still did make the same mistake. A mistake that you can't even bring yourself to regret, not when you look into their eyes…
How is it possible really? Are you so weak, so stupid to put yourself at risk again and again, breaking your promises to your own self? Or are they so powerful, so many steps ahead, enough to be able to put you under a cage that you didn't even notice, not giving you any chance to escape?
It is pulling you to them, whatever it is, calling you, overwhelming you through every single thing that reminds you of that other person, no matter how far they are. They are calling you, and you make steps forward. Just to push yourself right back when for a moment you are able to wake up. To doubt yourself, what you feel and think, to ask if this is even real.
But slow down for a moment. Breathe. Reflect. What is it, that in this new person, reminds you so much of the one that you swore to never let again in? Because it is just the way you feel with them, isn’t it? That sense of safety, of surrender to everything that could happen out there in this world, just because you are with them? Is it that admiration, pure inspiration and motivation that you feel when you look at them, at their way of living this life, creating with it their adventures and stories that they desire? Is it that hope for more time with them, to get to know them better, to learn from them or with them. To have them by your side as you face the struggles or challenges of your journeys, because you truly feel like they would be able and willing to help? Is it the way you feel so close to them in so little time, almost like you always knew and looked for each other, in one way or another? Is it just this… and how it is similar to what you felt with that other person, just before they took advantage of it?
Because you do love it, the way they make you feel. Those emotions that you thought you would never experience again. But at the same time, now that they are here, you can't help but reconnect them to the person that betrayed you by using them against you.
But… Are you so sure that it will be the same with them? That these emotions and way of feeling can be only a sign of a danger in disguise? Or is it only a fear, a supposition, based on what happened in the past, and that has nothing to confirm it in the now? Because you are opening up your old wounds, you are doing it on your own now. Just because of the profound vulnerability, and even scarier desire to be this way in front of them, that just surprises you in how it came back so easily, disregarding all your hard work to learn to protect yourself…
But it is not a mistake, a delusion of your heart, its way of never learning and being so easily infatuated and influenced by gentle ways… Your heart, your mind, you are not so stupid. You wouldn’t ever hurt yourself this way. But you are doing it now, in a different one. By letting what happened, and that person, still be present in your life. By letting their phantom wander around in your reality, your situations, standing behind those that you are looking at… And scaring you, putting you in guard just because of their presence and their memory at the back of your mind.
You did learn. You did become more careful with those that you allow to get closer to you, to be part of your life. You are protecting yourself, at every step. You are paying attention to the ways of others. And you are not letting anything or anyone play with you again. This, what you feel for this person now… Are just feelings, genuine, true, normal. They are not strange or worrying just because they seem to become deeper so quickly. Or just because, miraculously, they are reciprocated now.
It is good and it is true. There is no need to doubt it only because of how rare it is, and how ironically you already felt it once because of someone who treated your heart wrongly. That person was mean, manipulative, was hurtful… But does this new person have any fault of it, of the fact that they make you naturally and genuinely feel what the other needed to force and orchestrate?
Slow down. Breathe in. Look closely at them, pay attention to where they end and where that ghost of the past begins. Look at what you are creating with this new person. At how those bad and difficult things that you are afraid of and expect are nowhere to be seen. And focus on what is here, them, your moments. Rather than on the memories of someone who is long gone. The one that you already freed yourself from.
P.s. With each new year there is a decision that we need to make… what to bring with us, what to hope for, and what to leave behind. But it is not so easy, isn’t it? Some endings, no matter how obvious, are still so difficult to accept and to let go of, just because of how much they mean to us. But this year you can simply ask about it, if there is a chance for a new beginning or if there is only an end, so you can stop yourself from making the same dangerous mistakes.♡↓
{ Find out your answer here ~ }
{ ♡ }
– Pile Two,
the knight of cups, the emperor, the eight of wands
You give them so much credit… You think they really have all that power over you. Just because of how strange and new all these feelings are. How scarily natural, how overwhelmingly good it is to be by their side and connect with them, heart to heart.
But it is much simpler than just careful and complicated games of manipulation or disguise that your anxious mind comes up with.
It is just you. It is just them. The way you are so similar, yet different enough to teach each other so much. The way you speak different languages, but with such similar tone and rhythm that makes it possible for you to understand each other fully, even more than those that knew you for so long. The way there is in each of you that something that is needed for the other. That light and darkness. That calm and enthusiasm. That logic and emotions. The water and fire. The air and earth. Two half that fit so perfectly, creating something beautiful, something true, something whole.
It is just you both that felt instantly so comfortable, so safe, so curious about a life passed side by side, all the moments that you could create together, and those that perhaps you could've shared if you met sooner, changing completely your past. It is that genuine enthusiasm and joy that makes you go faster, connecting easier than with anyone else. Allowing you to create a bond deeper than what you could expect.
There is no trick, no spell, no hidden motive. Just a finally good and honest connection that your broken hearts needed so much.
There is just surprise and unpreparedness to feel so much and so fast. Especially when you are used to struggle just to get truly closer to someone who is already by your side.
There is no need to be afraid, to already prepare yourself for the worst just because this is too good to be true, to be so easy and fun. There is no need to consider to run away, to distance them, just because of the doubt in your mind… You can just slow down. On your own. Ask them to do things one step at a time. So you can get used to it more easily, to be treated better, to trust fully the promises that someone gives to your heart.
There won't be any anger or misunderstanding. There won’t be any judgement in discovering that you are just not used to so much lightness in your heart and mind. It will only make you more precious for them, more deserving of their affection and parts of them that they will share only with you, who they will fully believe and trust.
P.s. With each new year there is a decision that we need to make… what to bring with us, what to hope for, and what to leave behind. But it is not so easy, isn’t it? Some endings, no matter how obvious, are still so difficult to accept and to let go of, just because of how much they mean to us. But this year you can simply ask about it, if there is a chance for a new beginning or if there is only an end, so you can stop yourself from making the same dangerous mistakes.♡↓
{ Find out your answer here ~ }
{ ♡ }
– Pile Three,
the three of coins, the emperor, the page of swords
Is it really only them, who pulls you in so tenderly? Who so knowingly walks around your walls and finds every fragile part, using them to get closer? Or are you doing exactly the same, playing their games, imitating their ways, simply because it is so captivating and fun?
You have so many things in common. Even just the way you love and need to feel that rush, to feel the excitement and the thrill of getting to know each other, of provoking one another, subtly, jokingly. Never saying something openly, but understanding so much, reading through the lines.
But things are starting to change, to feel different, now that some time has passed and playing the same games as when you first met… It just feels kind of strange, and even tiring at times. This is not something that only you noticed and felt, that shift and the energy of both of you that just seems to be consumed uselessly with all of this. How the time seems to be wasted, and you both can’t help but think of how different those moments could've been if only you were finally fully open to each other. With your thoughts expressed clearly. Parts of you and of your life shared without needing to necessarily win them, be worthy of them…
And it is okay, this feeling and change is normal. There is nothing strange in being attracted to a different energy and dynamic at the start of a connection, compared to when some time has passed and you just want to be by their side, experiencing this life together, and not only playing with each other occasionally.
So don’t let those doubts and fears, that you or them will get bored if you stop to “spicing” things up, come any closer. Nothing will happen if, for a moment, you just relax and become less calculated in the ways you interact. Simply because this connection didn't start because of those games, of those flirtatious or joking ways. It started because your paths crossed each other, thanks to this life that saw how much your souls were aligned. It started because it was supposed to. And it would've happened even if you didn't do so much to win each other over, convincing the other person to choose you, to give you that chance.
It will not go away. Nor them nor you will do it, if something in your dynamic changes. Because change is not something to be afraid of. It is just a sign of your growth and evolution of this connection, of your feelings for eachother that make you a safe and comfortable person for one another, no matter the label of the relationship or your ways.
Don’t be afraid to let your grip on them go a little. Don’t be afraid to not always maintain the same entertaining energy. You don’t need to convince them, appeal to them, or prove yourself and your worth to them. They already are aware of all of it, they already chose to stay by your side, nourishing this bond, exactly like you did. It is not the start of the connection anymore. So you both are allowed to go a little slower, be more neutral or even boring. Some moments are indeed supposed to be more calmer and less adventurous than how it was at the very start. It is still fine. Everything is still okay. And it will continue to be so, no matter how many months or years will pass by. A time in which this connection will simply and only evolve and adapt to the phases of your lives many more times.
P.s. With each new year there is a decision that we need to make… what to bring with us, what to hope for, and what to leave behind. But it is not so easy, isn’t it? Some endings, no matter how obvious, are still so difficult to accept and to let go of, just because of how much they mean to us. But this year you can simply ask about it, if there is a chance for a new beginning or if there is only an end, so you can stop yourself from making the same dangerous mistakes.♡↓
{ Find out your answer here ♡ }
{ ♡ }
#thatfrailsoul#divination#tarot#spirituality#oracle#guidance#tarot reading#tarot cards#pick a pile reading#pac tarot#pac reading#tarot pac#connection reading#relationship reading#advice#tarot community#tarotblr#tarot blog#tarot love reading#tarotcommunity#awareness#answers#thatfrailsoul: divinatory jukebox#thatfrailsoul: pick a pile readings
73 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay lets start immediately with, I'm not using race as a tool, crying hate doesn't absolve you of wrong doing and spreading misinformation, I don't need to be black to tell you it's shitty to justify the shit used to ensalve your ancestors, that's just obviously fucked up
Once again you immediately go to the rules for hebrew slaves, the year of jubilee only applies to hebrew slaves, the death penalty is only for kidnapping, whereas selling and buying slaves is explicitly allowed, but they are generally instead the children of the slave traders or of course, prisoners of war or slaughter, that of course does not make it better and is where a lot of the african slaves in america came from
You clearly missed my point about the shellfish, it's that god can prohibit shellfish but not slavery, you are seriously arguing that god will tell people not to eat a certain food but not bother to say you can't own slaves, I do not lack maturiy but I guess your opinion is noted, if of course you are using personal views of me as a person to try to dismiss my points however, that is what we call and "ad hominem attack" the slavery commanded in the bible for non hebrew slaves is of course, directly equivelent to american chattel slavery, stop using hebrew slave laws, you're seriously arguing that because they treated people in their group better it's fine and ignoring the ones outside of the group that were treat exactly like your ancestors
Job was literally punished and tortured by god to prove a point, that's fucked up no matter what you believe and it's also god directly killng children
My grammar and spelling is perfectly fine, and you have still failed to give a reason why we should take exodus 20 as direct command of god, but exodus 21 directly following it as anything other than that, you have just decided that arbitrarily because it fits your worldview, whereas it's context and place in the bible would dictate that it is, infact, divine instruction
Also if your god is that sort that even allows slavery to happen, that's fucked up, but you still haven't given me any good reason why it was allowed and not commanded, because again, everything else would say otherwise
You did a great job of dodging the questions about the slave's bible or god just murdering children
Kinda funny how you only address the points you think you have an excuse for, and what exactly implies I "desire so badly for my question to be answered" I honestly couldn't care less because I know the answer will avoid the real bad stuff and just use someone else's bad apologetics, however, of course, it'll reflect quite poorly on you and your religion if you can't answer these questions, so I'll lay it out again
Tell me the difference between the rules for specifically non hebrew slaves and american chattel slavery, as none of the rules you've mentioned up to this point apply to non hebrew slaves
Explain the existence of the slave's bible if you don't think it played a large role in american slavery
"Well we can't understand god so whatever he does is fine" is just a terrrible cop out, but I get it, you can't actually justify his horrible action so the best you can do with "well we just can't understand it"
And if you want, lil bonus question if you of course, are even able to respond or give a shit to, what's up with god killing children? The first born sons of the egyptians? And demanding a sacrifice of a lamb and the smearing of it's blood on the doorway to mark the children he is not to kill
And bonus 2, just the entire slaughter of the caananites
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
Bodyguard! Mr. Scarlatella:
Content: Yandere! Mr. Scarlatella but he is actually human + assassin + farmer! scarlatella; non proof-reading; female anatomy + dubcon/noncon + kidnapping + usage of substances (once for the kidnapping) + mindbreak + lovesick! Mr. Scarlatella; cunnilingus + breeding kink + baby trapping + possessive! dom + overstimulation + orgasm denial + creampie + impregnation + trophy wife! reader (kind of?)
Summary: You never imagined that the guy that was about to end your father's and your life would end up falling head over feels for you, but hey, at least you're alive, right?...
Word count: 4240 words.
Note: I just hate how my brain decides to get dry af as soon as I end with my exams/essays... btw, Merry Christmas to everyone who reads this!! I'm thinking about making a kind of pt. 2 but with Mr. Crawling, let me know if you would want to read it!! It's weird to go back to the more dark stuff when I had started to write less heavy stuff... I feel I may have gotten a bit too creative for his personality, so let me know!!
Note 2: Let me know if any content tag is missing-- I wrote this over a whole week so I may have forgotten some...
You were the daughter of one of the wealthiest so it was only natural for you to live under the feeling of being targeted by someone, even since you were a child. So when your father presented a new bodyguard for you, it was nothing out of the ordinary, just some new guy who would probably quit by the month (at most). So he arrived, long black hair falling in a cascade and deep purplish pupils that pierced you through his polarised glasses.
"Dear, this is the new bodyguard, I hope you know how to behave yourself, I don't want to keep on complaining to that damn company, they keep saying it's your fault, but it's impossible for it to be solely your fault, I mean, it's been over 10 bodyguards in less than two months... Anyways, I have to leave, Daddy has some work to do." With that, your father left, his expensive cologne lingering in the air as he slammed the door, the new bodyguard still on the entrance of your room, a slightly unsettling smile creeping on his lips as he stood there.
"So you won't even introduce yourself? Seriously, the quality of that damn company is so freaking low... Can't believe they didn't even teach you how to introduce yourself." The man bowed a bit, taking a small notebook and giving it to you. "What the...? So you're saying that you're still learning the language and don't want to mess up? Ugh, ok, whatever. What's your name?" The man with crimson hair refused to speak, stating that he had not received a proper code name yet. "Seriously? Can't even call your name cause they didn't gave it to you, well that's just perfect. Don't bother me, just stand outside or whatever, as if I care." With those last words, the man left, finally leaving you alone in your room. "What the heck is wrong with that dude? I'm gonna complain to that fucking company of security, how am I supposed to trust him when I don't even know his name..."
As time went on, you were slowly able to get to know him, getting to know that he was actually coming from Japan because of some "old acquaintance" he knew since many years ago, that he loved magic tricks and that he was actually quite... cute. It hurt to even think it, but it was true, he was a cute man, always behind you when you allowed him, always running around you with your delicious drink ready and your purse hanging off his shoulder. God, he even learnt how to do your nails, makeup and hair in case you wanted to get it done on the days you were just too lazy to get out of the house... He was even there that night.
You had waken up by around three in the morning, making your way to your door so you could get something to eat in the kitchen, soon noticing that Scarlatella (as you liked to call him in a kind of playful way because of his hair colour) was nowhere to be seen, but hey, he was human as well, maybe he just went to the bathroom or something like that. As you were about to arrive to the kitchen, you noticed that the mansion was a bit too quiet, one would even say that it would have been possible to listen to a pin dropping to the marble ground. Unsettled, you quickly made your way to your father's bedroom, but you soon found out that the bed was completely cold. Now alarmed, you run to his studio, the sound of your feet resonating all over the empty corridor as you forced the door open, soon finding a terrible scene.
It was your father, well, what used to be your father, as his body was already turning cold, his skin turning slightly blue with clear signs of choking. Just as you were about to scream, your vocal cords were unable to produce a sound, your lungs being completely filled with a strange air that made you gasp for hair before you started to feel lightheaded. As you felt your conscience drift, you silently cursed that stupid company and that useless yet slightly charming man.
By the time you woke up, you soon noticed that your whole body was intact, expect for slight marks of rope on your wrists. As soon as you recovered a bit, you took a deep breath, deciding to try and scream to the top of your lungs in case someone could hear you.
"Hey! Someone there? Some crazy jackass has kidnapped me and---!" Suddenly, the heave iron door was opened, a familiar face entering the room.
"Good morning, dearest. I'm so glad you were finally able to open your eyes, you see, it was a bit difficult to get the amount of dose correctly, as I have never tried to keep someone as tiny and beautiful as yourself." Your old bodyguard entered, the heavy door closing behind him as he brought a tray on one of his hands. "Here, I brought you a few things I know you like." You looked at the delicious-looking food, your mouth watering as you saw all your favourite desserts, together with a bunch of your most beloved fruits. Despite the confusion, you tried to keep it together, looking to the other side and refusing to do what he asked. "Dearest, you've been asleep for over t--" Before he could end his sentence, you had already hit the tray with one of your legs, sending the appetizing food.
"Why the fuck are you here? You failed protecting me-- Fuck, you left my father to die, you're lucky I'm tied here cause I would crush your fucking skull with my---" The crimson-haired man got closer, dangerously close, in fact, his warm breath hitting against your face.
"Oh dear, I always knew you had quite the filthy mouth, but you must have been quite shocked to see that pig like that... I understand, I would never stop loving you for something trivial like that... Nor for anything, to be fair." His cold hands touched your face, the callouses in his hands making you frown even more than before.
"Listen fucker---." The man covered your mouth with his much larger hand, the shivers resulted from the cold shifting into goosebumps from the fear.
"Shh, dear. I understand, no need to explain it to me. I will make sure to re-educate you so you can go back to your natural self, that pig tricked your poor mind, but I will be able to fix it for you, see? I’m being such a good man for you, after all, I was supposed to kill you, but I even decided to turn my back to my client and let you live, I even avoided someone to think that you were alive. It was a bit of a hassle, but hey, I would do everything for you, dear.” The man finally got away from your face, taking the tray that had fallen to the ground because of you, together with the food that had been smashed to the ground. “It’s ok, dear. I understand this will take some time, luckily, I have all the time in the world, you just need some… hard love. I’m sure you will start to appreciate my company and care soon enough.” With that, the man smiled one last time to you, leaving the room with the sound of the heavy iron door closing, leaving you in the middle of the dark.
Since that moment, your slow torture started. The man left you in the dark for who knows how long, covering your eyes with a soft cloth, only taking out when he was around so he could start to… kind of associate him with the light, you supposed. He kept bringing you scrumptious plates, from your favourite foods to exotic ones. Of course, that was until the… maybe over tenth time you had throw his tray to the ground. That time, he simply took the tray, taking once again all the food on the floor and leaving in complete silence. The next time you was him was after… maybe one whole day? Your stomach kept rumbling, and what began as anger quickly became desperation, then crying and finally crying while screaming.
By around two months, your mind and body had become completely accustomed to his timetable and behaviour, letting him pet you as you ate what he brought, letting his hands clean your whole body and hair, not even complaining when you felt his hands drift towards your more private parts. Scarlatella looked extremely content with his work, rewarding you with constant praises and even a “pretty” collar for you. Despite it was a clear symbol of your turn into a kind of pet, the collar was beautiful, the gold glistening under the cold light as the beautiful charm with the form of a heart made a small noise of a bell each time you moved.
“Do you like it? I wanted something to congratulate you, after all, you have finally graduated. You are now back to your natural self.” You nodded, letting your head fall on his lap as he kept petting you. “I was thinking about giving you whatever you want, you can just ask.” He waited patiently until you were able to think about something other than the warmth that was coming from his body.
“���Freedom. I want to leave this room, please.” His eyes widened a bit, perhaps surprised that you were still able to think about your freedom.
“Dear, I know this can get suffocating, but you must stay here, it’s for your sa—”
“Please! I can feel my mind… slipping. This is getting worse each day, I… I don’t want do it, but the constant darkness is making me… think about… Just give me a bigger place, I don’t need something as fancy as my house, just something bigger than this room.” Scarlatella looked at you with a puzzled expression, his hand still massaging your scalp as he thought. Finally, he answered, not before letting a deep sigh.
“I suppose that’s fine. I can think of a story to explain your sudden appearance. Give me a few days so I can get everything ready, yeah? Promise I will do it.” As soon as he said that, he got up from the sofa that was in the room, quickly leaving the place before you were able to beg him to keep his promise.
Contrary to what you believed, Scarlatella kept his promise, coming back with a small suitcase and some clothes for you to change yourself, taking your hand as he made you walk with your eyes covered by that well-known cloth. When you were finally told to take it off, you were in the middle of a beautiful flower field. All the flowers were spider lilies, making it seem as if it was some kind of blood-filled battlefield.
“Do you like it, dear? I had to pay some money so they could build this house, together with planting these flowers.” He kept his grip around your wrist tight, not hurting you, but not letting go either. As he opened the door, you finally saw the house. It was a beautiful villa, completely decorated with cottage-like furniture.
“Yes, I like it.” Scarlatella smiled, a strange sheen in his gaze.
Soon, you realised why was he looking at you like that. You had fallen completely into his plan for turning you into his wife. He had created some complex story about you being his wife for over eight years, having to separate because you had been taking care of your sick father while he worked to the bone to get you as much as he could for the moment you came back to him. Everyone in the small hometown believed him, after all, he had been working there as farmer for quite some time, using it as a mere disguise so he could plan every little detail, creating a perfect façade so everyone would simply nod and smile to whatever he said. After that, your role became the one of a housewife, making you bake, cook, and clean, keeping the house warm and tidy by the time he arrived back home.
Soon, the days started to melt together, and your deep engraved hatred for him turned into a less bitter resentment. After all, he was the one that was providing for you, keeping you all warm and cozy while buying every single thing you asked him for, never doing anything that could hurt you. Slowly but surely, your mind started to reshape once again, now seeing him as a still intimidating, yet protecting figure. With that, it was finally the perfect ground for Scarlatella to create his perfect little wife.
Since that moment, Scarlatella started to become more physical with you, helping you around with all the cooking, “accidentally” rubbing his groin against your ass while he pretended to search for something on the top shelf. Not only that, but he made sure you could see him as a capable man, carrying the animals over his shoulder with ease, other times he was simply fixing stuff around the place. But the last moment he needed for your brain to start to see him as a possible partner was when you found him around town playing with the small children from the orphanage. He was surrounded by all of them, lifting them around and making them fly across the hair, his relaxed smile plastered on his face as he tried to make them control themselves as they waited their turn. Your eyes widened a bit, surprised to see him in such a… casual scene. So when he got back home, his working shirt slightly drenched because of the sudden rain that had started quite recently. The shirt was getting clung on his body, making his lean and muscular body stand out even further.
“Hey dear, how was your day? I hope it went great. Sorry I’m late, can’t believe I got caught in the middle of the rain while I was finishing some errands…” As he said that, he made his way around the kitchen, taking off his shirt and leaving it hanging on one of the chairs, surrounding your smaller frame with his arms. “I missed you so much, dear.” You tried your hardest to pretend not to notice, but of course you did, fuck, his groin was rubbing against your ass, and even then, it was clear that he was quite… gifted, down there. Still, you simply tightened the grip on the knife, biting your lips as you kept trying to focus on the food you were cooking.
Ever since that moment, you were no longer able to control yourself, always orbiting around him with your hand tightly wrapped around his arm every single time any other persons started to look way too affectionately at him. Scarlatella quickly noticed this, looking completely pleased with how he had been able to fix your precious little brain into a loving wife. In fact, he even started to pamper you even further, kissing your forehead every morning, asking you to let him shower together… Of course, you said yes.
So then, the two of you entered the bathroom, slowly undressing each other as the water started to warm up. “Love, you look so nice like this… All naked for me… I could just eat you up.” His hand drifted around your body, making your body shiver under his hands, and even if you were about to kiss him, he got away, extending his hand so he could help you get inside the bathtub. “Let me help you, dear.”
As the two of you finally entered the bathtub, he calmly traced your body with the sponge, making sure to scrub your skin without causing any type of harm. Then, he moved to your hair, taking the bottle of shampoo and scrubbing it while he hummed a little tune. Then, he focused on himself, redoing everything he had done to you. As he did that, your naked bodies kept pressing against each other, making you squirm at the slightest touch and forcing you to let small whimpers out every time you felt his lower half rub against your back. Finally, Scarlatella lost his composure as you kept pressing against him on purpose. “Dear… I have a feeling that you’ve been quite, eager to make our relationship more physical, am I right?” His eyes were now fixated on your face, making you feel even more flustered as you avoided his gaze. “Oh sweetheart, if you wanted that, I could have given it to you any time, after all, I do believe it is time we get to expand our little family.” And despite you would have normally shivered in disgust, this idea now started to charm you. So you nodded, accepting whatever he wanted you to do at that point. “Then we should get to business, let me get you ready love.” With that said, Scarlatella finally kissing your lips, his tongue entering your oral cavity as if he had been starving for a long time. “You taste so good… I could stay like this forever.” Scarlatella kept kissing you, his hands starting to glide towards your chest, starting to play with your nipples as his tongue kept exploring your mouth. “Dear… I think we should move to our bedroom; I don’t want your first time to hurt.”
“Oh, that’s fine, not like it’s my first time, you know, I did it a few times before you became my-.” Before you were able to finish your sentence, Scarlatella was already getting the two of you out of the bath, lifting you up and carrying you over to the bedroom he had been preparing for quite some time. Despite his gaze looked a bit crazed out, he let you down softly on the bed.
“It seems I was a bit too gentle with you, that was my fault. I suppose you must prefer someone meaner, treat you as if you were a little fuck toy, I suppose your brain is still not that adapted to having a husband, that’s ok, I will fix it.” With nothing left to say to you, he got on top of you, towering over your smaller body as he started to kiss your neck. “I just wish I could have arrived earlier… Get to be your first, let you make me yours…It’s a shame we had to meet under those circumstances.” And even regardless his almost apologising words, his actions were crude, clearly showing his uncontrollable desire to make you completely his. “… I should definitely get you pregnant, make sure everyone knows who your husband is, let’s see if any other fucker tries to get with my sweet wife.” As he kept mumbling to himself, his lips started to make a trail towards your chest, moving even further down as your moans got louder. Suddenly, he got away from you for a second, taking something from the small nightstand. Still quiet, he opened the small bottle, letting the sticky liquid help him prepare your pussy for him. “Not like you will need it, apparently you were more prepared than me.”
“Come on, it’s not like we are… fuck, I don’t know, it’s just, it’s not like you are a virgin, right? There’s no need for---”
“I am.” His hands stopped for a second, his fingers a few inches away from entering you. “I’ve been investigating so I could make it as comfortable for you as possible, but that’s ok, I will make sure our next time is perfect… Let’s just use this time for letting you know how this works.” Without further due, Scarlatella started to tease your entrance, rubbing his fingertips against your entrance, while his other hand started to move towards your weak spot, starting to tease your clit as he kept kissing your neck. As the minutes went on, you started to notice a weird warmth inside your cunt, making your tears swell up in your eyes as Scarlatella kept teasing you.
“Stop— Can’t—It feels weird, like really weird, it’s not normal!” Scarlatella smiled wickedly, his eyes darkening as he saw how your pussy kept releasing your sticky fluids, with no shame, he got his face closer, starting to leave kitty licks over your clit before he began to fuck your entrance with his tongue, making you cry due to the overstimulation as he kept stopping just before you could release. This torture kept going for a couple minutes, making you clench the sheets, biting your lips as you kept mumbling barely understandable words: “Please, please… Just—Please! Fuck, please, let me cum, please, please…” Your words kept slurring, making him smile at the beautiful portrait he had been able to turn your gorgeous face into, he caressed your face with one of his hands, his lips still curved into an amused look as your face had become a mixture of snot, tears, and saliva. Suddenly, you felt Scarlatella’s arms wrap around you, lifting you from the bed and letting you lay on his lap, his unclothed erection rubbing against your clit, rocking your body back and forth as he kept taunting you.
“I just can’t believe you preferred some random person over me, love. I’ve waiting for you my whole life, I even learnt all this… tricks to get you to feel as good as possible.” All of sudden, his tip went in, barely letting you get ready as he kept pushing it inside and out, making your eyes water as he kept tormenting you for a few minutes more, his gaze becoming more and more obscure as his erection just kept growing. “Fuck, whatever… I’ll just have to prove you that nobody will ever fuck you like I can, get you pregnant so you can only see me… love me…” His eyes lightened for a second just from the thought, and before you even noticed, your back was once again pressed against the mattress, with Scarlatella towering over you as he was finally able to gradually introduce his whole length, the stretch making you whine and cling to his back. “You feel so good around me, love… Just wait, I’ll fill you up, fill your pretty pussy with my cum so nobody ever tries to get too close to you—You’ll look so pretty with your tummy all round—” As Scarlatella’s hips started to punish your sore cunt, you were finally able to cum, eyes rolling to the back of your head as your legs locked around him, as a poor attempt on getting him to stop for a second.
“Wait—Too soon, I can’t get pregnant yet!” You pushed a bit against his lower abdomen, your hands barely stopping him as they kept shaking because of the constant orgasms that just kept pilling up, forcing your brain to become more and more fuzzy each time. It was then that Scarlatella wrapped his own hands around your waists, using them as mere handles for him to push the tip of his cock just a bit further, just enough for you to cum once more with a pathetic whine. Despite you had already cum all over him, Scarlatella’s thrusts didn’t slow down, if not growing stronger as his mind was already too far gone.
“Gotta get you pregnant—That’s all I need—Fill your pretty pussy with my cock and get you to- Fuck- cream all over my cock, that’s it baby… Cum all over your husband, make a mess on my cock, you’re doing so good love…” His words kept resonating in your mind, almost as if it was some kind of chant, and despite you tried your best to endure it, your brain gave up, after all, Scarlatella had been taking care of you so nicely… It wouldn’t hurt to let him keep doing it for the rest of his life… right? As Scarlatella kept muttering to himself, his cock was already twitching, signifying just how close he was to releasing his essence inside of you. With your mind now completely broken, you smiled, your arms and legs tightening around his waist as his cock kept hammering against your cervix, one of his hands carefully pressing against the lower half of your abdomen, causing the pleasure to just build up even further as he finally released his load inside of you, his constant groans now turning into soft praises and kisses. “You did so good, love… Let me take care of everything from now on, I will make you the happiest wife ever, no need to think about anything, just promise to tell me everything you need or want, yeah? I’ll be the best husband int the world.” His hands kept petting your hair as his cock started to deflate inside you, still remaining inside as he refused to pull out in case some of his essence spilled out. “Let’s wait a bit, love. I will prepare the bath in few minutes; I just want to make sure everything goes correctly.” He peppered a few kisses all over your face, his hand rubbing your tummy as he kept imagining that near future he had been longing for.
#fanfiction#x reader#smut#homicipher#homicipher headcanons#mr scarletta#mr scarletella#mr scarlatella x reader#mr scarletta x reader#mr scarletta smut#mr scarlatella smut#mr scarletta hc#mr scarlatella hc#homicipher smut#homicipher scarletella#homicipher x reader
68 notes
·
View notes
Note
If you have the time, would it be possible for you to write something about the reader and Phineas being in an arranged marriage? Could be a headcannon or a oneshot.
(Warnings: mentions of poisoning.)
© Writing belongs to me, Lxdymoon0357. Do not plagiarize, but reblogging, liking and commenting is deeply appreciated.
Arranged and strange..and jealous..?
Phineas Lapileon was your dear husband, one you could actually stay on civil terms with..Of-course it was hard to actually be friendly, with his strong walls around him to refuse to let anyone in who is not his family, it was as if the entire family did not like anyone aside from their members.
Phineas was your darling husband, you adored him sure..wanted to be romantic, yes...But sadly, like his beauty, it was forbidden to have his heart it seemed, being on cold terms with you.
Asking him to go somewhere with you, it left simple but rather scathing news, "Do whatever you like, dear...I don't care, really" he'd say with a simple polite smile
But once in a while, his smile would be there, a compliment here and there, a kiss to your lips...
It was nice, it was some of the only time you actually felt like you were married to him, you knew it was rather pathetic to hold onto him if his feelings were there for someone else, but he kept civil terms with you.
Of-course conversation to conversation, Pereshati said it had something within family secret but she wasn't allowed to tell you more than that. Lapileons also mostly kept to themselves..
But Lapileons have to show face, being one of the most noble families in the empire, it was only polite.
So of-course you were there, decorated like a real-life doll with expensive clothes and jewellery, making conversations with some noble-man who was rather flattering, smiling sweetly to you,
"Well, it's not quite common to find someone to gorgeous in the empire, beauty is common..but stunning ethereal one likes yours? Rather rare..!" the man whispered, making you almost giggle..No usual how someone was this kind, as you thank them for their compliments, feeling your heart also flutter.
Phineas stood aside, downing his third glass of alcohol, Therdeo and Pereshati beside him, both of them rather concerned but ignored it..talking with other nobles to seem polite, while Phineas' eyes bore into the back of your head with the man,
"Do wherever you want..Why would you want to be with me? I'm just strange..."
That was all his mind ran on, as he watched you giggle with the man, so much happier than you ever seemed with him... Of-course it's not too long,before he actually walks over to lean over and gently kiss your lips all of a sudden,
"Dear, family is calling us" he whispered with a gentle smile making you smile back and butterflies produce in your tummy. Phineas gently helps you up with his gloves hand, his other hand was ungloved, but he kept picking at his nails with his thumbs.
As you two are walking away, he hears a little clang as the man drops his fork. As you walked ahead, he smiles turning back to the man, picking up with fork with his hands, and hands it back to him, before hissing softly,
"Don't you suppose it's rather pathetic to flatter someone else's wife? Are you really that alone and desperate? Please stop acting like a pig." he said to the man bluntly, glare in his eyes but as Phineas leaned back a small sweet smile graced his lips as he handed the fork back to the man.
Upon sitting in the carriage, Pereshati and Therdeo in another carriage, Phineas' hands stay lingering on yours as he leans his head on top of yours, being rather abnormally tall..As he fitted the other glove on his hand, smiling. Smiling softly as he gently kissed your forehead,
"my darling wife." he whispers, as you giggle and lean against him..It was rather nice when his walls fall down for you, as you gently kiss his lips, making Phineas smile, but not from the kiss...
Phineas can almost hear the cry of the man gasping for breath from the poison in his throat from Phineas's nail where he made himself bleed by picking at it in his head..and it's rejuvenating.
#navi⌗writes⌗#navi⌗answers⌗!!!!!#my in laws are obsessed with me#my in laws are obsessed with me x reader#manhwa romance#manhwa#manwha#manhwa recommendation#koreanwebtoon#webtoon#manga#yandere manhwa x reader#manhwa x you#manhwa x reader#manhwa x y/n#manhwa smut#my in laws are obsessed with me x you#my in laws are obsessed with me x y/n#phineas lapileon x reader#phineas lapileon x you#phineas lapileon x y/n#phineas lapileon imagines#phineas lapileon fics#manhwa fanfiction#manhwa fanfic#manhwa fic#manhwa scenarios#manhwa imagines#manhwa drabbles
52 notes
·
View notes
Text
MOMOKARUN - roomies
ੈ♡˳ a continuation of my "roomies head cannons" post (if u haven't read it yet, you should totally go read it either before or after you read this bc it's fire if i may say so myself.
notes: 2.8k words. warning(s):
ੈ♡˳
music was thumping in their ears. they weren't at a party or anything. they were just in momo's new bedroom. well, not new new. momo had lived there a good three months already. with her (low-key fine) roomie.
the roomie in question was in his bedroom. no music of his own. he was mostly just involuntarily listening the fast bass line of whatever the hell momo and her friends were listening to. honestly, ken was getting a little irritated. this was his one night out of the week that he had to study and relax. every other day, he was practicing with his club or going to work. he liked living with momo, but times like these made him wish he had taken advantage of the roommate matching resources. he just sighed and grabbed his noise cancelling ear buds. if he had to listen to something, it was gonna be something he wanted to listen to.
"I don't know, girl! he's hot stuff!" muko said loudly while looking in the mirror and pulling her hair into different hairstyles. "y'all haven't ever even flirted a little?"
momo threw a pillow at her girlfriend and rolled her eyes. "dude. if you haven't noticed, he's a total nerd."
muko and miko both deadpanned and turned to momo. "girl. if you haven't noticed, that's literally your type." muko stated. then miko piped up.
"also, I don't know who you think you are! did you just forget that you two freaks are studying the same nerdy occult stuff!"
"well, yea! but he's studying aliens and all that UFO bullshit! i'm studying genuine stuff: spirits and the supernatural!" momo said proudly.
her friends deadpanned again. "right... right..."
"whatever. you two are studying- what is it again? dress up games?" she insulted.
miko whipped around. "bitch! I don't wanna hear that noise whenever you step out wearing something made by us two. and you'll look totally hot in it, too."
momo chuckled, applying a big false eyelash to top off her gyaru makeup look. all three of the girls were practicing their skills. since they were finally allowed to wear makeup out and about everyday. muko wore it anyway, but boy, did she stay in detention.
"honestly, momo. you could use more practice." muko blurted out, a plan flowering into her mind.
"um, rude! you couldn't have said that a little nicer?" momo whined, staring at her makeup in a handheld mirror and working hard to decipher what exactly she was doing wrong.
"i'm just sayin', it might help to practice on a fresh face..." muko said, raising her eyebrows at miko. momo just cocked her head to the side, confused.
miko smiled mischievously. "yea... maybe that cute roomie of yours would be up to letting you practice on his mug."
momo rolled her eyes, touching up her eyeliner. "yea right. okarun would never agree to that. he's kinda uptight."
the girls dropped their jaws. "okarun?! what the shit kinda name is that?"
momo blushed. "well, that's not his real name. it's just a nickname I gave to him since I can't stand to hear to stupid name." the girls stared at her, urging her to continue. momo sighed big and loud. "ugh! his real name is... ken takakura."
they busted out laughing, jumping on to the bed next to her. they shook her around and hit each other, trying to recover from what momo just said.
"girl, are you serious! you're living with a ken takakura and you're not asking him out already?!" muko shouted. momo shoved her hands over her mouth, afraid ken okarun would hear. "give him a chance!" she said, muffled.
"seriously, momo. don't sell yourself short. you're a cute girl and ken seems like a sweetie. start off easy. ask to do his makeup tonight."
"tonight?! but I thought you two were sleeping over..." momo pouted.
the girls grabbed their overnight bags and bedazzled phones, which had cute little charms hanging off of them. "not anymore! you've got a mission to accomplish tonight. see ya!"
and with that, the two girls left. momo was sitting on her bed, wanting so badly to scream and chase them down. but she didn't want to disturb okarun. her phone rang, causing her to jump. it was miko.
"what?!" momo grumbled loudly into her phone.
"if you don't call us back tonight with an update on how everything went down, we're totally coming back tomorrow and talking to ken takakura ourselves."
momo groaned out, slamming her phone shut and then throwing it down on her bed. it couldn't hurt to ask. the worst that could happen was that okarun would say no, then momo could go to bed. but what if he said yes? she would have to sit super close to him and touch his face a ton and stare at his super cute face. ugh! she really didn't want to do this, but at the same time... sitting close to him and touching him and staring at his super cute face didn't sound horrible. who was she kidding? it sounded perfect. momo sighed. she slowly got up and trudged into her bathroom. she spent a good ten minutes removing her makeup, washing her face, and applying some skincare products. she spent the silent time thinking about how to go about this in the least awkward way. asking wasn't super awkward, but actually doing the makeup would be. she couldn't handle his big doe eyes staring at her the whole time.
that's it! she would ask to practice eye makeup on okarun! that way, his eyes would have to be shut the majority of the time.
"alright..." momo sighed, her makeup bag in tote. "let's get this over with."
she stepped quietly through their common area and tiptoed down his hallway. she kinda hoped he was sleeping.
softly, momo knocked a few times on his door. no answer. confused, she pressed her ear against his door, and knocked again. still no answer. his lights were on so he couldn't be sleeping. was he just ignoring her on purpose? without thinking, she just pushed his bedroom door open.
there he was. laying on his bed. shirtless. of course he was shirtless. stupid muko. stupid miko. momo stared at him. he had his arm covering his eyes, a hand resting on his toned abdomen. he also had... ear buds in. seriously? momo groaned and shuffled toward him. she smacked him on the arm.
okarun jumped up. he pulled his ear bud out and sat up straight. putting his glasses back on, he looked up at momo. "hey miss ayase. did you need my help with something?"
she stood in front of him, head turned to the side and refusing to look at him. "um, no. well, yes, actually. would you be willing to let me practice some eye makeup on you? I know it's not super manly or whatever, but miko says i'll get better at it if I practice on a fresh face. it's stupid but you're the only person I could ask. those two bitches conveniently left right after making the suggesting it."
okarun took out the second ear bud and stood up, standing a little close to momo. she stiffened. "yea, sure. if it's important to you, i'd be happy to help."
"cool." momo mumbled. they stood their for a second in awkward silence. "um, could you put a shirt on real quick. i'll be waiting on the couch..."
okarun blushed and chuckled nervously. "yea... uh, sorry. i'll be a out in a jiffy."
miss ayase spun around on her heels after ken shut the door. once he was alone, he pinched the bridge of his nose, embarrassed. jiffy. what does that even mean? and why would he stand so close to this girl shirtless? he could've made her uncomfortable. that was the last thing ken wanted. they got along really well, other than the occasional argument over running shoes or stolen food. they spent a lot of time together, studying or sharing meals. sometimes it felt like the two of them were already couple in ken's mind. they did just about everything couples did, safe for the romantic stuff. of course, ken thought about the romantic stuff, more often than he'd admit. she was pretty and, despite being the most stubborn person on the planet, she was a good person to be around. she was extremely supportive and always made sure ken was taking care of himself. she would make him hearty dinners the day before he had a track meet and would stay up extra late to study with him if he was feeling academically insecure about a certain subject. and she was pretty. ken didn't realize it, but his gaze on her lingered. he adored her messy hair, the way it flicked up and the way her bangs shaped her face when she pulled her hair up. he also liked the way she dressed. very comfy and casual, but she just made it look good. she had a nice body, too. a little curvy, with long legs and a little more muscle than you'd expect. ken felt like she would fit in his hands just right-
god, ken! don't be a pervert!
he shook his head, as if he could fling the flush of pink off his cheeks. ken isn't sure if he can handle sitting so close to miss ayase. he was already getting worked up just thinking about her-
"okarun?" momo called, a little worried he fell asleep.
ken slapped himself on the face and sighed. be normal.
"sorry, I just needed to rinse my face off." he lied.
okarun plopped down next to momo. he turned the TV on and flicked through the channels until he got to their most watched channel- sci-fi. an alien invasion movie played quietly as okarun sat and waited for momo to get her makeup sorted. he watched her hands intently as she thumbed through different eye liners and brushes.
he wanted them to hold his face already.
"you ready?" momo asked.
"yes." okarun answered. he was a little quick with his response.
"alright." momo uncapped a black felt-tip eyeliner pen, giving it a small shake. her eyes flickered up to his, a small feeling of nervousness bubbling up inside of her. "try not to move too much. this would totally suck to get in your eyes."
finally, her non dominant hand cupped okarun's cheek, holding him still and positioning his head properly. she began applying it underneath his eyes. they were quiet as she mapped out a shape. then, she applied a thick line to his upper lash line. she took a moment to regain her composure since his eyes were finally closed for this part. his face was totally soft in her hands and the pout she was squeezing onto his lips was absolutely adorable. momo zoned out, staring at his cute features for about ten seconds. okarun, curious, opened his doe eyes, causing momo to snap out of it.
she snatched her hand away from his face, digging through her makeup bag to avoid eye contact.
"I didn't know you were so into makeup..." okarun said, trying to ease the awkwardness.
"uh... yea. I wanted to wear it throughout highschool, but I didn't want to go through all of the hassle of getting in trouble every other day. that was more muko's speed..." momo said, pulling out a white concealer. "look up for me."
okarun did as told as she applied the white concealer right under his eye. she fanned it with her hands so it would dry faster. he grabbed a mirror, curious to see what she was doing to him.
"this looks cool!" he encouraged. "is working on a 'fresh face' helping you?"
momo smiled at him. "yea... you're a good canvas."
they stared at each other for a moment before momo broke eye contact to grab some eye shadow. "wanna pick out your color?"
"sure. uh... how about blue?"
momo dipped into a pan of pastel blue eye shadow. he closed his eyes, and she dragged the pigment across his lids until she was satisfied. then she added some fake lashes to his top and bottom lashes and topped everything off with a little glitter. she popped the cap back on the glitter eye shadow and plopped a hand held mirror into okarun soft hands.
"what do you think?"
he looked at his reflection. "as far as I know, this looks pretty good. I don't know much about makeup but it looks nice to me. all though, when you replicate this on yourself, you should do pink instead." he paused, contemplating on whether not he should keep talking. "the pink would look good on you... just about anything looks good on you."
momo's eye widened, the eye shadow falling out of her hand and hitting the ground. okarun quickly picked it up for her.
"are you okay?"
"you think i look good?" momo asked.
okarun scratched the back of his neck, his face turning pink. "yea... i've always thought you were pretty, miss ayase."
her heart skipped a beat.
"thanks." she mumbled nervously, trying to think of something to say. "you're pretty, too."
okarun's eye widened this time, then he couldn't help but let out a laugh. momo shoved her face in her hands.
"no! I didn't mean pretty. I just meant, like-"
"any good looks of mine are thanks to you. you did me up nice." okarun smiled at her. momo blushed.
"not all of them." she admitted. "you have cute hair."
she brought her slender hand up to his head and let one of his curls wrap around her finger. okarun leaned into her touch unconsciously. she ran her fingers through his messy hair until she got to the undercut at the nape of his neck.
"i especially like this, here." her nails grazed the short hair, causing okarun to screw his eyes shut and shutter. he could sit and let her play with his hair all night. he kept his eyes closed and leaned more into her touch, his lips falling against her wrist. unconsciously, he wrapped his fingers around her arm, pulling her palm to his lips and planting a soft kiss there.
the two nerds froze. momo snatched her arm away and okarun scooted away from her entirely.
"i'm so sorry, miss ayase! I don't know why I did that." he shoved his face into his palms, muffling his speech. "I'm an awkward guy-"
"that's okay!" momo said a little louder than intended, trying to cut him off before she lost her mind. "here! there are some makeup removing wipes. i'm gonna head to bed. I'll see you in the morning. oh, um. don't forget to rinse after using these. ok. goodnight."
and with that, momo snatched up her makeup bag and scrambled into her bedroom. she tossed her bag to the side and plopped facedown onto her bed. after a moment, she dialed tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum. she couldn't have those too screwing up this awkward situation any worse.
meanwhile, ken stood in his bathroom, scrubbing his eyes of the makeup. why did he do that? what was he thinking? momo could've slapped him across the face, or worse; laughed in his face! he probably made her so uncomfortable. why did he have to screw up their perfectly normal living situation.
he made sure to rinse his face off, then crept into bed. he laid on his back, staring at the ceiling as if momo's reciprocated feelings lie hidden in it. okarun liked momo. he wanted to be with her- more than roommates. he wanted them to kiss, and cuddle, and go on dates. he wanted to pay for her meals and surprise her with cool hidden talents. he wanted to see her dressed up, her hair in that ponytail he liked so much. he wanted to sleep next to her; to hold her close to him, easing her restlessness and soaking in her warmth. he wanted to wake up next to her, plant a kiss on her warm cheek and then head into the kitchen and put on her morning coffee.
but did she want any of that with him?
momo tossed her phone to the floor, still processing the events. she stared at her palm, burning a hold into the spot where okarun's lips were only a little while ago. it tingled. she wanted more. momo wanted more of okarun. she wished he would've kissed her on the lips and that they spent the night on the couch together, a stupid sci-fi movie quietly in the background. she wanted play with his hair and see the way he melted into her touch again. she wanted to go on adventures with him, make memories and share experiences with just them. she wanted to make him meals everyday and attend his track meets, so she could be the loudest one in the audience, cheering him on.
but did he want any of that with her?
duh! these two morons. as book smart as they are, you would think they'd be decent at catching a damn clue. maybe they'd figure it out in the morning.
ੈ♡˳
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’d walk through hell for you
authors note: saw that best friend!noah is all the talk right now and decided to finally free this from the drafts. inspired by a walk through hell by say anything :) there will be a second part that’s already finished and will be posted next week ! i’m not sure about a third lol as always, i hope you enjoy and feedback is appreciated :)
pairing: noah sebastian x reader
divider: @saradika-graphics
word count: 3.1k
cross posted on ao3
cw/tw: angst, hurt/comfort, heavy anxiety, best friend!noah, Noah Is A Nightmare But He Can’t Help It, reader is a sweetie and loves their friend and wants to make it better, oh eventual friends to lovers btw, 18+ minors do not interact
You haven't seen him like this in a long time. You can't even remember the last time he allowed you to see him like this, on edge, snippy with fucking everyone, and down right a fucking nightmare. You thought he had gotten that under control, at least from what he’s told you, but the scene before you lets you know that may not be the case.
For the most part. He could be worse, you think.
You've seen him far worse than this plenty of times, yet it still makes your stomach turn in an unpleasant way, and there's a foul taste settling in the back of your throat as you step into his room.
“Hey.” You say quietly, making your presence known.
“Hi.” He doesn’t even bother looking up at you. Your chest tightens.
“Jolly says you’re being a nightmare,” Noah snorts at your words, but you know he doesn’t find it that amusing. “Wanna tell me what’s up?”
Your heart breaks as your best friend finally looks up at you, the bags under his eyes and the permanent frown on his lips feeling like a literal stab to the gut. You drop your bag by the door and slowly make your way towards him.
"I can't fucking..." He sucks in a deep breath as he throws his arms towards his computer setup in the corner in his room, eyes narrowing. "This one part in the song I showed you last week. It doesn't sound right. I've messed with it for days, even sent it off to Jolly and even he can't fucking get it to sound good and, " He rubs a hand down his face, "I have to send it by tomorrow night with like four other songs. The others are fine but this fucking one..."
"Sebbe. Breathe."
He does, one long shaky breath, and you're finally looking closely enough to realize his entire body is shaking. Your anxiety kicks in then, alarms sounding off in your head because you know where this can lead. You've seen it before. Your legs take you over to his bed that he's sitting on, joining him. You make sure to keep some space between the two of you, not wanting to overwhelm him more than needed.
"I just don't know what's fucking wrong with me. Like, why can't I figure this out? I did the thing, I took the break. Came back with a clear head or whatever but all I did was fuck up the song even more to where Jolly can't even fix it and-"
"Noah."
He stills at your voice, lazily dragging his eyes towards you. He looks so tired. You know him well enough to know the break was a good fifteen minutes before he sat his ass back in that chair and clearly worked himself to the ground. You know that he's probably only slept a handful of hours in the last few days, and you fucking hate that. He struggles with sleep as is, so you know the stress of this deadline isn't good for him at all.
"Listen to me, okay?" You say slowly. Noah just blinks at you. "Send it off the way it is. You've done your best, but if you keep messing around with it with this nasty attitude, it's not going to get any better. Make sure to make a note on why the song might sound unfinished, mention that you've been struggling."
"But-"
"I'm not finished." His mouth snaps shut. "Tell Jolly you sent it off and that you guys will work on it later. These are just supposed to be demos, right?" It takes a second but Noah eventually nods, somehow looking even more tired than he did seconds ago. "Then there’s no reason for it to be perfect, anyways. Just go on to something else and then go back to it when you don't feel so... negative."
The silence after your words makes your stomach turn, Noah slowly blinking at you. You know your words are registering in his mind, but they’re melting away. He's going to only hear one part of your speech, and it's the part about sending an unfinished song to his label. The unfinished and not perfect song which is unacceptable in Noah standards, and you can already make out the frown that's beginning to form on his lips.
"I have to finish it."
"No, you actually don't."
"Yes, I actually fucking do." He bites out.
You know he doesn't mean it, to be snippy with you, but that's what happens when he's like this. Irrational, says things before thinking about them. You can't stop the way you flinch, though, grimacing at the way it hurts when he throws his anger at you. His frown only deepens, sadness etching itself over his face.
"Sorry." He mumbles, head tilting down. "I just... I need to finish it. I can't just send it off the way that it is. That's not good enough."
"Demos aren't supposed to be good. That's why they're called demos. It’s the rough draft.”
"You don't get it." He groans out, resting his elbows on his knees and placing his head in his hands. "I just... I can't do that. You know I fucking can't. It's gotta be perfect, because if not-"
"You feel like a failure." You finish his words for him and watch the second his shoulders drop.
He doesn't respond, doesn't even take his hands off his face. Instead he just nods slowly.
"Noah..."
He remains silent next to you but you can hear the way his breathing has picked up, a lot shakier than it had been seconds ago. The hands that were sprawled across his face were shaking again and this time you don't bother keeping your space, scooting closer to him.
You're deliberate with your actions, hand reaching out to slide off the beanie on top of his head. You let it fall, hand now smoothing down some of his hair that was messed up by the hat. You're quiet when your fingers gently card through his hair and you do it a few times before your nails scratch at his scalp, slow and gentle.
It takes a second, a lot longer than you actually expected, but his breathing begins to even out. His hands are still shaky, though, and he still has yet to even pick his head up. You have a feeling of what's running through his mind, and you so desperately want to crawl inside there and throw it out yourself. Fill his head with better thoughts and rid him of the mean ones he's sifting through currently.
Your hand drops from the top of his head, instinctively pushing a fallen strand behind his ear before sliding your hand down to the back of his neck. Your fingers apply a good amount of pressure there, gently rubbing out the tension. You hear him sigh out, the noise muffled by his hand.
“Talk to me. What’s going on up there, bub?”
"This is all I have." He finally says after long minutes of silence, voice sounding strained.
You frown.
He continues, "The band. Music. It's all I have. All I'm good at. I can't... it has to be perfect, you know? If it's not..." He sucks in a shaky breath and your fingers dig back into his neck. "If it's not perfect, I don't know how much longer I'll have this. One fuck up and... and this all can be..."
He doesn't finish his words, but you know what he was going to say.
This all can be taken away from me.
Noah confided that fear to you so many times, but each time you're reminded of it it's like a part of you dies. His fear of losing everything at the snap of a finger is something that haunts him and has stayed with him for as long as you could remember. No matter how hard he tried to run from it, to know that things don't always end and can't be taken from him so easily, it always seemed to come crawling back.
"It's not going to be taken away from you." You say in a small voice, scooting even closer to him. Your legs are pressed together now and you don't stop rubbing at his neck, hoping to relieve some of the stress.
"You don't know that."
"Yes, I do." Your fingers stop but your hand doesn't move. "Noah, look at me."
A beat passes before he's finally removing his hands from his face, slowly turning his head to stare at you. Somehow the bags under his eyes have darkened in the few minutes you've been in here with him, and it seems like that frown on his lips is permanently sketched there.
"You've gotten this far without it being taken from you." You start slowly, thumb now brushing against the side of his neck. "You're good at what you do. Everyone knows that, and everyone knows that you're not perfect. You don't need to be perfect. We all have bad days. One song that isn't sounding like you wanted isn't going to be the be all end all of your career."
"But what if it is?" He sounds so small, voice shaking with fear of the hypothetical what if and all you want to do in this moment is gather him up in your arms and never fucking let go.
"It isn't." You press. "This has happened before and guess what happened? Nothing. Nothing was taken from you, and life went on as it did."
Noah just blinks at you. You stare back at him, pressing your lips together as you mull over your next words. You're not sure if what you're telling him is getting through that head of his and you're not sure what to do next. You think he needs to take a break, a much longer one, and needs to get out of his room. Probably the house, too. Away from the problem to clear his head.
"Hey," Your thumb keeps brushing against his neck and something warm spreads across your chest when you feel him melt into the touch. "How about you come over? For the day. We go back to mine and just watch some Naruto. I haven't finished it yet."
His blank expression is soon replaced with something similar to pain and his eyes dart from your face to the corner of his room, where his set up remains. You reach up with your other hand without much thought, cupping the side of his face to turn him back towards you.
"Noah."
"I..."
His eyes dart back and forth between your face and his computer, and you can almost physically see the battle happening in his head. The need for perfection. The need for control. His hands start to shake in his lap again and your thumb brushes against the top of his cheek, trying to pull him back to you.
"Just for a few hours. A couple episodes, that's all. Just to get you out of that head of yours, then we can come back here and you can finish up that song."
A compromise, but it's enough to have that pained look on his face to fall for just a moment, body relaxing under your fingertips.
"Okay." Noah breathes out, eyes fluttering shut momentarily. " A few hours."
You can't stop the smile that spreads across your face, that warmth from minutes ago settling across your chest again.
"Thank you."
He doesn't reply, just blinks at you again and gives you a weak smile, but a smile nonetheless. You're not sure you got through to him, but maybe he was exhausted enough to not care anymore. Whichever one it was you'll take it, as long as it gets him away from that computer and hopefully out of his mind.
He's quiet when gathering his things, lingering by his desk when he saves whatever song it was giving him a hard time before shutting the computer down all together. He doesn't say anything when you leave either, silently following you through the house and to your car. It worries you every time he goes quiet like this, but you know it's the exhaustion from his anxiety finally catching up. And probably the minimal hours of sleep he's gotten in the last few days. Still, you hate it.
The only sign of life from him was when he bopped his head to a random song in a playlist you two created together, adding random things in there from time to time. You can't remember the name, it's one of his songs you think, which is confirmed by him humming quietly in the passenger seat next to you, scrolling through his phone.
Noah still hasn't said a word by the time you reach your apartment, and doesn't bother saying anything when he gets out of your car, shuffling behind you. You try to hide your worry as you unlock your door, chewing on your bottom lip.
"Make yourself at home."
He makes a noise in response, a quiet hum, toeing off his shoes before making a beeline for your couch, sinking immediately into the cushions. You smile at that, watching as he gets comfortable in your space. It wasn't always like this, when the two of you first became friends, but after years of growing closer, your space was almost like his. It was nice to know he trusted you that much.
"Have you eaten?" You call out to him, making your way around your kitchen. He doesn't look up from his phone.
"No."
You glare at him, but he still isn't looking. "Noah."
"Wasn't hungry." He brushes it off before pausing and finally looks up from his phone, exhaustion evident in his features as he stares at you. "I'm kind of hungry now, though."
"Yeah?" That relaxes you a bit. "I got some leftover pizza in the fridge if you want some."
"Sure."
You try to ignore the way he still sounds so... small. Barely there, like he's off in some other world. You busy yourself with fixing a plate for both you and him and make sure to pour him some water in the biggest glass that you own, knowing damn well he hasn't had a sip in hours. You bring the plates in first, setting them on the coffee table in front of your couch before going back to retrieve your drinks. You hand his cup to him, narrowing your gaze.
"Drink."
You don't miss the way he rolls his eyes but takes the glass from you without a fight, taking a slow sip. You feel like you can breathe easier now knowing that he's drunk something, and is going to eat something soon too, and you finally settle onto the couch next to him, pulling your legs up under you.
The two of you sit in silence as you mess around with your remote, trying to figure out which streaming service had Naruto on it. It had been a while since you watched it, and you knew you had to finish it. Noah's been bugging you for months, maybe even years, so now's a good time as any to start it back up.
"I can't believe you still haven't finished." You’re surprised he’s said a full sentence, words muffled around the pizza in his mouth.
"I'm trying." You whine out before taking a bite of your pizza. "There's just so many episodes."
He snorts. "You haven't even gotten to Shippuden yet."
"...You're telling me there's more?"
You look at him, head tilted and eyes wide. Noah takes in your expression and laughs, the real breathy one he does when he thinks something's ridiculous. That warm feeling in your chest returns and suddenly you feel something similar to pride fill you, being the reason behind that laughter. His lips twitch into what you think is supposed to be a smile, shaking his head.
"Dude."
"You didn't tell me there was more!"
"Yes I did! I literally told you that this was part one, and then Shippuden was part two."
"I literally don't remember that at all." You grumble out, rolling your eyes.
"You could've already been on Shippuden if you'd just watch it."
"I forgot, okay?" You cry out, which only makes Noah laugh harder. "Fucking sue me."
"We're finishing this." He says matter of factly, relaxing back against the couch. "The goal is to finish both this and Shippuden by the end of the year." You give him a crazy look, brows furrowing, and he laughs again. "Okay. How about we at least start Shippuden by the end of the year?"
You think about it for a moment before nodding your head, taking another bite of your pizza. "I think I can manage that."
He smiles for real this time, small but it's real, and you smile back.
"Deal."
One episode turns into two, two turns into three, and somehow three turns into you almost finishing the season you'd been on for the last few months. You've finished your pizza by this time and Noah's been resting his head on your shoulder for the last three episodes now. The light from outside is dimming, and you know you should probably take him back home. You've kept him here much longer than he agreed to, but he hadn't said anything, just kept saying to play the next episode. He was finally relaxed and seemed to have finally forgotten about the song, at least for the moment.
And selfishly, maybe a part of you wanted to keep him here, pressed into your side for just a little longer.
The episode finally comes to an end and you go to ask if he wants to watch another episode, but a soft snore interrupts your sentence. You blink down at Noah asleep on your shoulder, face pressed against you and mouth open. You probably should be a little disgusted at the way he is most definitely drooling on you but instead you feel... endeared. He feels safe enough to sleep around you, and that feeling in your chest returns.
You reach for your phone next to you, typing out a text to Jolly that Noah had fallen asleep and you'll bring him back whenever he wakes up.
Thank fuck. He's been on nightmare mode for the last three days. He needs this.
A moment later another message from him comes through.
Thanks, btw. I don't know what he'd do without you, and quite frankly, me either. ❤️
That feeling in your chest blossoms into something you can't quite explain, a smile stretching across your lips. You send back your response before tossing your phone onto the couch and you rest your head against his, pressing your body closer to your best friends.
You're not sure what you'd do without him either.
#bad omens fanfiction#bad omens fanfic#bad omens fic#noah sebastian fanfiction#noah sebastian fic#noah sebastian fanfic#mine
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
When I was in college, a friend of mine got a job at one of the campus help centers where they're supposed to help students who are struggling get their feet under them.
Based on his training there, he insisted that he wanted to have a similar session with me in order to Fix me.
(This speaks volumes about the help the other students were getting, I think.)
See, the entirety of his assistance was sitting with me and creating a nice, tidy little schedule for my life in fifteen-minute increments, with tidy little spots for daily workouts and weekly meal prep. And he kept getting frustrated with me for not being able to put my activities for the day in any order, or assign them specific periods of time, or being willing to commit to following this militant schedule to the letter.
He wouldn't hear the fact that I'm a writer-- I have no control over when the words come. Sometimes I'll be doing something Very Important and I'll have to put it on hold because if I don't write this line of dialogue down Right This Second it's going to make it impossible for me to focus at all. Sometimes I'll be staring at a blank word document for two hours and get a sentence and a half done. Sometimes it'll be three in the morning and I'll have been writing for five hours straight but I won't be able to sleep until I get it written.
He wouldn't hear the fact that I have debilitating depression, and sometimes it takes hours to gather enough energy just to get dressed.
He wouldn't hear the fact that I don't actually know how long something like cooking is going to take, because every recipe calls for completely different cook and prep time, and I can't predict what's going to be utterly unappetizing until I look in the fridge for that meal.
There was no accommodation for the fact that I have a sleep disorder, which between the depression and the rest, makes it damn well impossible to predict when I'll be able to start sleeping, or when I'd need to wake up in order to be rested.
And that's what it comes down to-- there was absolutely no leniency or accommodation for anything outside of that ultra-disciplined, hyper-regimented approach. There was no allowance made for neurodivergence or disability of any kind. Despite knowing me for years at that point, he couldn't understand why I just didn't Try Harder. Clearly I'd succeed if I just did it his way.
A few things that did actually help me, for the record:
When there's something that I Know is going to occupy the entirety of my brain until I do it, I just freakin' stop whatever else I'm doing and do it. In my case, that's usually writing down whatever bit is in my head, but also it can be getting out of bed to make sure I turned the stove off, or making sure I locked the door, or paying my credit card bills in the middle of the night, or whatever.
A lot of my executive dysfunction is exacerbated by sugar/protein levels, so I keep a supply of protein shakes on-hand. It doesn't necessarily fix my depressive episodes, but it gets me out of those loops where I can't do X until I do Y until I eat and I have to eat first because if I don't eat now then I won't be hungry for dinner and then blah blah blah.
On that note: I can't control when/how I sleep, but I can control how many meals I eat during a day and roughly when they happen. Eating regularly helps to make the rest of my natural rhythms a little more predictable.
I have a short list of foods that my household can reliably eat and try to keep the ingredients for that stocked.
I do actually do a little bit of scheduling-- I set aside a few-hour-block on two days of my week to work out. Not because I Must do it, but so that I'm not preoccupied with the constant background radiation of "I should be working out more". If it's not Monday or Friday, it's not going to happen.
Forgiving myself for not being at peak productivity levels at all times. My boss will get what I have it in me to give them, and not more. My writing might not be at its best all the time, but it's a hell of a lot better than a blank page. Pushing myself past my limits to adhere to an impossible standard only exacerbates all those other problems.
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
❅ Underneath The Tree ❅
pairing — boyfriend! choi soobin x gender neutral! reader
genre — fluff, est. rel, idol au, christmas warnings — none! wc —1.04k
💬 — i miss soobin and i wish he was there to celebrate with the rest of the guys, but i hope he's also doing well... anyways! merry christmas everyone! divider creds: @/strangergraphics
Christmas morning, approximately 7:23. You sat at your dining room table, nursing a lukewarm mug of hot cocoa. Your unfocused eyes gazed in the direction of your Christmas tree, colorful and beautifully decorated... Missing presents underneath, but still beautiful nonetheless. Your facial expression was one of contention, but... You didn't feel content. Something was missing, no... Someone was missing.
You knew that your boyfriend was busy, his career never made it easy for the two of you to see each other as often as when you'd first started dating but you're fine with that—well, you were. When it got to the point that your beloved was barely home for the holidays, you'd stopped being as fine with it. You supported Soobin's dreams, always had and always will, but! Sometimes, it just... made you sad.
He'd said he'd be able to make it this time, you thought wistfully, recalling the messages he'd sent you just a few days prior. He'd also sent a picture of him smiling, his dimple full on display, making your expression soften as soon as your phone had loaded it. But he hadn't even told you when his plane touched down. If, it touched down. No, Y/N, don't think like that... He'll be home, sooner or later.
God, you prayed it was sooner. You didn't even have plans for the day, clearing your schedule to be ready to spend as much time with your boyfriend. Maybe go ice skating? Cuddle in front of the fireplace? Stare into his eyes dreamily as he sang to you, arms wrapped around your torso as he did. You could only hope. If he was up to it, maybe he'd visit with your family or you'd visit with his, whatever the plan was, you'd just be happy to spend Christmas with him.
Your phone suddenly chimed, alerting you to place down your mug and pick your phone up. A notification from TikTok, showing you that a friend of yours had tagged you in something. Got my hopes up, you sighed, placing the phone back down. You were almost starting to feel bad for yourself, wondering what type of person would sit in one place for nearly an hour yearning for their partner when you got another notification. This time, it was a text!
soobin: knock knock! :) soobin: it's cold out here, let me in?
With that, you raced to the door, making quick work of the lock. When the door finally opened, you were greeted with the captivating appearance of your Soobin, clad in a black puffy coat, with an adorable flushed nose and cheeks to match. Your mouth had barely opened before you felt his larger frame wrap around yours, the cold biting, but tolerable because it was his cold.
"Hi..." He breathed out, squeezing you lovingly, "I missed you so much."
"I missed you more." You grinned into his touch, "Come inside, it's chilly."
You backed up, allowing Soobin to make his way inside, shrugging off his coat as he did. When he was fully inside, he shut the door behind him, a familiarity to his movements. You weren't particularly sensitive, but just seeing him was making your nose burn as if you were going to start crying any second. Hold it together.
"I'm sorry for not calling when I touched down, my phone died. "
"It's okay, I'm just glad you're here now. Where's your luggage?"
"I already took them to my house, I didn't want to have to make you help."
"It wouldn't have been a bother, baby."
"I know... But today's about the holiday spirit— not my luggage."
Soobin walked deeper into your home, eyes focused on the Christmas tree. He'd picked his one out over Facetime, saying that something about it reminded him of you. You didn't know what he meant, but because he was cute and you loved him, you made sure that was the one you lugged home.
"Where are all the presents?" He asked, jokingly whining. "What type of Christmas is one without presents?"
"Well baby, I told Santa that all I wanted this year was to see you underneath the tree." You joked back, sliding back into his embrace, his arms locking around your waist as they had a million times before. "Guess ol' Saint Nick really came through for me."
"Makes sense you'd be on the nice list," Soobin gave your head a small peck, "I mean, you are dating me after all... The nicest of them all."
"Oh brother, this guy stinks!" You rolled your eyes, leaning deeper into his embrace. "God, I missed you."
"Missed you more."
Soobin led you over to your couch, settling the both of you down in front of the illuminated tree, the light reflecting in his gorgeous brown eyes. I have to be the luckiest person on the planet. You smiled to yourself, Soobin watching with an equally blissful smile. He gently intertwined your fingers with his, giving your hand a squeeze.
"What're you smiling about?" Soobin cocked his head to the side.
"You, believe it or not."
"Oh, I believe it," He chuckled, squeezing your hand again. "I don't blame you."
"You're so cocky today!" You squeezed his hand this time, "You've been hanging out with the members too much. They're influencing you."
"More like I'm influencing them. I'm a cool guy, you know?"
"Yes, Soobin, the coolest." He rolled his eyes at your playful sarcasm. "How could I have ever gotten so lucky with you?"
"TikTok manifestation videos?"
"I am not one of those MOAs." Your head tilted back as you laughed, "Those things do not work either way."
"You'd be the expert." He shrugged, "Either way, I'm glad I get to spend today with you."
Soobin released your hand, quickly maneuvering both of your bodies to end up in a cuddling position. With your body pressed against his, you finally felt content. This Christmas becoming what you'd wanted it to be all along. Hearing the slow, intentional heartbeat of the man you held dear to your heart, watching the twinkling luminescence of the Christmas tree; just the two of you, being together.
This was what Christmas was all about, you knew that for sure now.
"Merry Christmas, Soobin."
"Merry Christmas, Y/N."
© gyumibear 2024. all rights reserved! kindly do not repost on any social media sites, translate or modify my works without my permission. please don't plagiarize, it's okay to use my works as inspo as long as you credit me!
#kflixnet#k-labels#kbookshelf#tomorrow x tomorrow#txt x reader#soobin#choi soobin#choi soobin x reader#soobin x reader#txt fic#soobin fluff#soobin fic
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
Oh, that little look. That little look, though it was brief, had his fingers itching, his instinct as a Dom to put her in her place bubbling beneath the surface. Had this been any other time, any other context, during any other conversation, he would have flipped her right over and slapped her ass black and blue again. But he settled for retuning her look with a harder one of his own, a clear yet unspoken message; she was lucky he was letting it pass... this time.
"I'm not saying you were dishonest," he amended evenly. "But I am saying you weren't completely honest with me." And that was the whole issue at this point. The little things she did or said to let him know there was so much more going on beyond the surface; things she held back. And while he would allow her whatever space she needed (for the most part) to open up on her own time, some things were too important to their relationship to let slip between the cracks. Still not being completely honest, he mentally tacked on when she gave him the practical reason. Sure, it wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth.
He was about to push the issue, a subtle frown on his forehead, when she reached out to touch him instead, making him pause, eyes flickering to the skin to skin contact. He released another measured breath, letting the emotions in her gaze draw him in as she finally began speaking. This time, it felt different. It felt raw and bare, like she was pealing away a little bit of her armour to let him see a part of her that hadn't breathed air in years. And so he stayed carefully still, kept his features calm and open, and let her speak her piece, his hand taking hers when she sought it out.
He was quiet for a moment even after she finished, making sure nothing more was coming. Then he raised their joined hands to his lips, and he placed a kiss to the back of hers. "Thank you for your honesty, angel." It was the first thing he said, wanting to make sure she knew he understood that it wasn't easy for her let herself be vulnerable like that. "Most importantly, I want to make it very clear that it is your place to ask me for that. It's your place to ask me for anything you need or want from me, my darling. As clever as I am," his lips twitched with a bit of amusement, "I've yet to perfect mindreading as a discipline. So it's important that you do." The hand by her chin shifted a little then, inching higher until he could bury the tips of his fingers in her hair, his palm settled just below her ear. "Even if I do not always indulge you."
He paused to lean in, minimizing the distance between them. For a moment, he considered making her ask for it, but decided to relent; he'd pushed her enough. So he brushed his lips against hers then, lightly, and spoke: "In this case, my possessive angel, had you asked, I would have told you that my interest in anything sexual starts and ends with you." He tilted her head back a little more and delivered another light kiss. "I would have told you that your busy little head has nothing to worry about." Another similar kiss. "And you would have saved yourself a lot of energy."
Her brow knitted a bit as he said her name, giving him a look before fixing her face. She quite literally bit her tongue behind her teeth to keep from letting a snarky little remark slip out. Because this was an important conversation and because of the whole cumming on his tongue thing, and she didn't want to ruin anything.
She watched him as he walked toward her, suddenly feeling like prey being stalked by some predator. It took self-control not to back away, staying glued to the bed, not wanting to show any weakness. He was misunderstanding her, which frustrated her, because she wasn't this girl. She took pride in not playing games, in being straight forward. "I wasn't being dishonest." And in her mind, she technically hadn't been. "It isn't necessary on your end, but I want to know if you're sleeping with other people. Especially if we aren't using protection." It wasn't meant to come across as insulting, more practical than anything.
Cora moved her hand up, catching his that held her chin, stroking the pad of her thumb along his hand. She was trying, hearing his message about honesty, so she put her pride aside. "Would I like monogamy? Of course. I don't want you with anyone else." Just saying it had her anxiety spiking, wanting to run, wanting to find someplace to hide. Her free hand moved to his other, anchoring herself. "I'm just as possessive as you are, Master." Cora swallowed softly, her eyes flickering from his before landing back on his gaze. "Maybe more, believe it or not. So no, I don't want to share you, I don't anyone else touching you, but I also don't feel like it's my place to ask you for that."
85 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'm not sure if I'm the only one who notices the aftg fandom tendency to infantilize victims of abuse but the way some people here talk about jean like he's made of glass sounds so weird and patronizing to me. I remember reading the part where cat suggests that there might be nice to explore his sexuality and pleasure now that he's in a safer environment that allows him to do it and thinking oh well that makes sense and it's sweet that she found a playful way to talk about an awkward topic (sex and pleasure) and then I'm on tumblr and there's people saying that she practically made fun of his sexual assault I mean ? did she? jean was embarrassed but that was it. it wasn't malicious at all and trust me I think jean is familiar enough with malice and cruelty to know what it looks like. ANYWAY I wanted your thoughts on the subject since ur not the type to jump on moralist rants or interpreting a character with such bad faith. I always like to read what you have to say!
funny you should mention this, anon, i do have a fic wip where cat teases jean about him watching jeremy, and jean being in a bit of a funny headspace at the time goes into a spiral. and in it, jean knows that his reaction isn't about cat or what cat said and he's not angry or upset with her. and the fic isn't really about jean and cat, it's about jean and his trauma.
because, you see, i think the thing about trauma is that it is inconvenient. the person with the trauma doesn't want to have the trauma responses that they have. they don't want it to pop up in response to things that they logically KNOW are fine and safe. it's really really frustrating! but sometimes they can't help it. sometimes they're not even conscious of what exactly triggered them. but that doesn't mean whoever or whatever triggered the response are to blame or that they need to change their behaviour.
it's like neil and wymack in tfc when wymack shouts at neil when neil drops the coffee beans and neil spooks. neil explains to wymack that he KNOWS wymack doesn't mean to hurt him and that wymack isn't even actually angry, but he can't help the way he reacts. at no point does neil blame wymack and wymack doesn't substantially change how he behaves around neil either. they just sort of learn how each other works as neil slowly becomes more comfortable around the foxes.
i don't think jean actually blames cat (or even thea, for that matter) for saying something that raises his hackles. jean (unlike riko) is emotionally mature enough to not blame others for his involuntary emotional reactions.
trust me, i have no idea what the common aftg opinions are and i'm horrible at guessing. but i will say that the sunshine court would read as a very different book if everyone handled jean's trauma with pitch-perfect, ideal care. it would read like one of those books that make you want to retch because it sounds like it was written by people who have never dealt well with people with complex trauma and are writing a fantasy of how they wish it would go.
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's WIP Wednesday! Been a while since I posted one of these. Have some Victorian era romance that I've been writing instead of new chapters of the things you all actually want to read!
Something was going on.
A few weeks ago, there had been a long list of young men that wanted to dance with her. It was as if her feet hardly touched the ground when she was out, whirling between partners, pink and breathless by the end of each glittering evening.
Danny Galkin had shown up to one of the next parties with a black eye, and refused to so much as look at her, and he’d been one of her most frequent partners on the dance floor. There had been rumours he would make a courting request. More and more of her partners began to avoid her, until she was spending most of her time sitting to the side, left out.
And it should have been just the opposite. There were officers in town, and soldiers loved to dance with pretty girls.
She had to corner Johnny Mactavish (bruised high on his cheekbone, knuckles split) to get an answer. One of the soldiers had taken a fancy to her.
Riley.
“He’s tha one with the big purple bruise on his jaw. Ye’ll ken who I mean.” Johnny grinned. “Ye cannae say I dinnae give as good as I get, bonnie.”
She did know who Johnny meant, the moment she locked eyes with the stranger across the ballroom. Tall, broad, dark eyes that burned hot like coals. The purple bruise on his face was stark against a pale, freckled complexion, the red coat no benefit to either.
She marched up to him, fury propelling her forward, overriding common sense or the desire to not cause a scene. “Who the hell do you think you are?”
His eyes narrowed slightly. He looked down his broken-and-set-wrong nose at her. “Not ladylike to swear,” he said, voice gruff.
“My apologies. Who the fuck do you think you are?”
His lips twitched up on one side, eyes flicking for just a moment to a bystander who was whispering about the foul language. “Simon Riley.”
His attention was only off of her for a moment, but she missed the heat of it anyway. “Were you ever planning to ask me to dance, Simon Riley? Or is enough for you to scare off every other young man that might like to?”
He drained his glass and handed it off to someone nearby that looked both deeply offended and reluctant to say anything about it. “Olright. I’ll dance with you, birdie. Since you asked so nice.”
“Good. I was worried you were too much a coward.” She took his hand and pulled him to the dance floor.
The music started, and he pulled her into his arms.
And he never let go.
#It's wip wednesday baybee#I just keep remixing Sparrow because I love to put Morgan in situations as much as I do the lads#I will not apologize#Victorian AU#Maybe Regency#I haven't fully narrowed down on the era I want to go with but I'm leaning more Victorian. The primary differences are style based#Also the whole industrial revolution happened#But whatever! I'm allowed to do whatever I want.
56 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't know what you mean in this context.
I was just talking about this one guy and I, and just for fun we planned what would happen if we moved in together (it was, like, the 3 day maximum of us chatting, usual scaring tactic I try on people who claim to wanna be friends with me), and I'm apothiaroace, and he was apothiace, and we came to the point of discussing rules, and then I was like "yeah this is probably completely irrational and makes no sense but like sex should be illegal for specifically me - I want me to just not be legally allowed to have sex ever, and also no sexual things in our house, like, do you agree?", and he for whatever reason ALSO, wanted sex to be illegal for HIM, and to ban anything sexual in the entire house, and then I was like "why are we doing this and what is wrong with us but also we're epic?!" And he was like "sex is icky" and that's basically just any of our conversations about ace stuff -
Like, I'm like "I feel this way, and I know it's valid for me, but WHY?! WHAT IS THE SCIENCE BEHIND IT?!" and he would be like "sex is gross", and man, I miss that now ...
Support asexuals and aromantics who choose not to have sex, with or without a relationship.
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
Man, it's cool and all if you see a metaphor for marginalisation in the monstrous, and if you want the power fantasy of 'what if you could just eat anybody who threatened you/pissed you off'. Me too.
However, as soon as you start saying 'no, these monsters are a 1:1 on Specific Marginalised Group, and you have to treat them in the fiction like they are directly representative of real human members of the marginalised group', BUT you also, in the fiction, make them hurt/kill/eat humans? And then try to shame me, your audience, for noticing or engaging with the bit where they kill people, because you made them directly representative of a real-world marginalised group? You have lost me, and also, I think, the plot.
#hear yourself. for the love of whatever you cherish.#'but they only kill bigots so ACTUALLY they're the GOOD GUYS -' your metaphor of monstrosity is entirely premised on the question of#'what if what you went around righteously killing; believing your actions to be justified;#were actually people and it was not in fact righteous or justified to just kill them'#'what if the world isn't neatly split into 'good guys' and 'bad guys'#who gets to decide who or what is 'bad'? because that's the original problem of monstrosity-as-metaphor-for-marginalisation#(if as a creator you say 'oh my intention with this was X' cool!#if instead you go with something like. well.#'well in this setting monsters are so rare it doesn't matter that they kill people and you'd have to be a homicidal sadistic psychopath >#< to hunt them; but sure I guess if you want to play a Bad Person' well I might have#but if you're going to explicitly judge me for wanting to engage with the moral question of 'how justified is this and who would do it#versus how justified are these monsters if they do have to harm or kill people to continue to exist'#then maybe I just don't want to play your game at all)#anyway I'm sick to death of poor uwu cozy vampires who are SO marginalised so I'm not Allowed to care about all the people they murder#it being fucked up is what's fun about it! do all the other shit but let me take the murders seriously!#and inb4 someone accuses me of being a bigot for saying 'actually I don't think you get a free pass to kill and eat people if you're gay'#remember when the CW's famously reactionary and conservative Supernatural tried to just gloss over the part where every time its heroes >#< killed a demon with a magic knife it also killed the person the demon was possessing#and say 'oh no it's fine we don't care about those killings; they don't matter; don't bother caring about them either'#but they were doing it to glorify exactly the kind of people that these 'monster as metaphor' stories are trying to cast as expendable?#I have other examples that are like. real dramas. but That Paranormal Show is the one that's in the same niche that I'm talking about here#it feels more insidious when it comes through a fantasy show where there are monsters involved#so you can say 'no it's not real so it doesn't matter'#but then ALL of it is equally not real. and vampires are not actually an oppressed group. because they don't exist.#you can say 'these vampires are a metaphor for an oppressed group so this fiction matters in real life'#or you can say 'don't care about the murders because they weren't actually real'#but you can't say both and then get mad at ME for treating the murders as seriously as the vampires#let me engage with your premise and don't waste my fucking time#or just set your fluff in the Sesame Street universe where vampires drink cherry Kool-Aid and help kids learn to count
208 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
281 notes
·
View notes