#But what is the issue with letting OTHER people reclaim slurs as labels? I do that. It defangs the insult. That's My Word Now.

[crystalkleure]

I am not sure the majority of people know WHY someone will most commonly want to adopt a "bad/evil-looking" persona/brand. I am seeing a lot of folks believing the only reason someone does that is because they want an excuse to act like a prick and then say "It's just a bit!" and while yeah, that IS sometimes why somebody will do it, in my experience that is most likely not what's going on.

It is MUCH more likely that the person with the "scary evil asshole" persona has adopted that label in defiant response to other people calling them that unreasonably. Their use of the supposedly "bad" label is subversive, sarcastic, and spiteful, not literal.

Example: "Oh, you think I am a violent monster for defending myself, because I mauled the person who was trying to maul ME? I fully believe that what I did was justified self-defense, so if you say that still makes me a monster, fuck it, I guess I'm a monster then. I'd do it again. If you think this makes someone Bad And Evil, then you're just gonna have to think I'm Bad And Evil, oh well 🙄"

This is done for multiple reasons:

To mock the person[s] calling them evil for doing something they don't believe was wrong

To appear deliberately unpalatable to people who will condemn them for acting the way they think is justified, so those condemnatory people will hopefully get bored and leave them alone after realizing that shaming them and calling them nasty things will elicit no hurt reaction from them

To take the sting out of the insult

It's "Okay, cool. I'm not going to argue with you or even get offended, monsters are pretty dope tbh." And "That's just a descriptive label I'll claim for myself, thus taking away its power as an insult" is the exact same idea behind slur reclamation, actually -- "You'll get no satisfaction from hurting me with this word, because this word does not hurt me."

More examples:

Someone might call themself a demon because they were condemned for disobeying a perceived authority figure, but they claim the label proudly because they feel disobeying was the correct thing to do, because the authority figure's rules were unfair and harmful. And so this "demon" does not make a point out of causing suffering on purpose [though they may SARCASTICALLY say "Oh yeah I love poking people with my pitchfork and dunking babies in lava 🙄"], their values are actually in standing up for yourself and defying unfair rules.

Someone might call themself "toxic" because they are blunt, open, and honest about their opinions and criticisms, and people who disagree with their opinions tell them it is "toxic" of them to share them because they don't want to see negativity towards things they like. The person labelled "toxic" sees nothing wrong with giving their two cents on things, they have every right to do that, and anyone who is upset by them not liking something they do like can just block them. People have different tastes, that is not inherently Actually Toxic. "I think this sucks" =/= "I think everyone who ENJOYS this sucks." The latter WOULD be toxic [if the thing is not somehow actively harmful; liking Unironic Racism Simulator or something probably does make someone suck], but the former is not, yet is often mistaken for the latter.

Someone might liken themself to a dog, because they've been constantly told they are lesser/unintelligent, to the point of being animalistic. [I am autistic, and have bitten somebody who was assaulting me before. I have been compared to an animal, dog specifically, a LOT.]

So it is incorrect, and frankly kinda fucked up, to claim "Oh, the people who adopt a ~bad~ persona will eventually identify with it so strongly it ceases to be a bit anymore, making them Actually Bad" when this is the real logic behind their adoption of the "evil-looking" identity. They aren't going to suddenly start acting in ways they never thought were right, just to lean into the persona. They are going to keep doing the same things they ALWAYS thought were right, just extra spitefully now, with a sarcastic "ooga booga, this is so evil right?" tacked on.

[fresh-bird]

man you know I don't support puppychan or wolfertinger666 or whatever, like, at All, ive just been observing, but some of you have GOT to shut the fuck up about what you're "criticizing"

like about him drawing his sona and all the big tits trans men, it's his own business, as a trans man, to draw them how he enjoys, you're fucking obnoxious and pathetic if you want to deny him that or say he's fetishizing trans men.

n the repetitive commentary he makes is annoying as fuck, it's weird that he keeps infantilizing himself and his characters as "boys," nd its really uncomfortable how he depicts trans men almost exclusively as bottoming for trans women, but that's an issue w how he sees trans women.

he's allowed to depict trans men and his sona how he wants and to see himself in them, you don't have any valuable point to make if you don't like the way he experiences his own gender. just stop dancing around it and say you don't think he's actually transmasc and a lot of your criticism is because you didn't grow out if your truscum phase. literally who gives a shit about his gender. we are not getting anywhere as a society if you can't let trans people like him exist.

"He's fetishizing trans men" just say you don't think He's a trans man. Just say it. You know what you mean.

he leaves a million annoying comments waxing the same ten lines about how depicting this art has emotional meaning to him and that he's representing and doing something others don't and it's insincere as fuck. You can criticize how he almost only draws non-op or non-hrt trans guys but says he values representation without doubting his right to draw trans men like himself. and aren't there more important things to worry about him doing anyways??

it is also Not Your Business what slurs he reclaims and what he or his gf identify as. she can identity as a lesbian if he's fine with it and he can say his attraction to women is gay and call himself a fag if he wants. what the fuck is wrong with you? why are you so insistent that people's orientations make sense to you? how is it ANY of your business how he and his gf experience their orientations? You're wasting your fucking time on labels and identity policing? Are you 14 years old? don't you think there's more pressing concerns to be had than microanalyzing every aspect of his queer/LGBTQ identity??

And lately esp, he's making more effort drawing rolls and body fat than a lot of people would and it's incredibly nasty of anyone to criticize that. actually grow the fuck up and let people think it's hot to be fat. You're not helping fat people or fat liberation by treating attraction to us and a desire to look like us as something aberrant or like a fetish, you're part of the problem and should be honestly fucking ashamed of yourself if you genuinely have an issue with the bodies he draws and call him a fetishist.

Like literally so fucking what if he thinks fat people are hot? Being fat isn't something inherently bad or weird, that's part of the point of fat acceptance, it's just about having that body.

It's the same as that destinytomoon shit. like it's not your business if someone wants to draw fat people and thinks fat people are hot. Focus on the actual fucking issues.

thinking fat people are hot should be as average as finding people with curls or high cheekbones hot. actually listen to fat liberation activists for once in your life and hear about how backwards and ignorant it is to treat attraction and interest in us as aberrant in some way.

There are real actual issues to criticize and you choose to bitch and moan about the wrong fucking things, always ending up being disrespectful as hell. we don't need you defending us.

"he's thin but says he isn't and draws his sona with rolls he doesn't have" yeah so saying hes not fat/chubby is valid. he doesn't know what hes talking about. But who CARES how he draws his sona. maybe he wants to be chubby or fatter? Is there something wrong with drawing your fursona with a body you'd like or find hot?

if youre reading this i should hope you dont need me to fill you in on the Actual issues.

start with talking about how weird he is about trans women topping and maybe you'll go somewhere. that causes tangible harm to other people and isn't just you being fucking weird and obsessive about his identity and about what he's attracted to. It makes you look creepy and pathetic. you shouldn't treat ANYONE this way about their identity, it doesn't matter who.

ending up coming back and editing this lmao.

[duckyfruitbat]

MOGAI

Here's a bit of LGBT history that happened right here on Tumblr. MOGAI was an attempt to rebrand and expand the community by being accepting of all labels and finding any that have been ignored by society.

In late 2013 early 2014 some LGBT youths here on tumblr realized something about the community name. The official acronym has been expanding to keep itself as inclusive as possible, but the issue is that it doesn't seem to stop. At time of writing the full acronym is LGBTQIA+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, questioning/queer, intersex, and asexual). The "+" is either everyone else, or HIV positive people depending on who you ask. As far as inclusion goes, the acronym does a fair job, but is not fully inclusive. There are variations that are longer and/or with a different order that includes pansexual, two-spirited, and straight allies. I don't think that last group includes themselves in the community.

The biggest issue with the acronym is that it is difficult to use in conversation. Most people shorten it to just the first four letters and maybe the plus, others use a more regal form of gay, and others more are using queer as a substitute. That last one is the most common, hell it's the one I use, but it does have a complicated history. It is in fact a reclaimed slur that the community has been working on since Stonewall, I'd argue that the effort has been largely successful. These days it's hard to find someone who genuinely uses it as a slur, they instead use the f slur for hateful purposes. The last example I saw of it being used as a slur was ten years ago when I was first coming out of the closet, in a video that was already a few years old.

Tangent aside, back to the early 2010's. A group of teenagers on this site was discussing the above two issues mentioned and thought that maybe it's time to come up with a new acronym that is not only short, but wonderfully inclusive without the baggage that queer has. After a short debate they landed on MOGAI (marginalized orientations gender alignments and intersex). Let me just say that for a group of teenagers online, this acronym is absolutely wonderful, it addresses all major categories while being easy to understand say and spell. It is also wonderfully inclusive, it's hard to feel left out with a name like that. I want to reiterate that this was made in a group brainstorming session.

After that the MOGAI community was born and given a flag. Real quick that flag at the top is in fact the official MOGAI flag, and I understand what they're trying to do with the symbolism and all, but did it have to be a color wheel. The original post behind the flag was lost, but the flag survived, so official meanings were lost.

Now something else that was noted by the newly formed MOGAI community was that humans are just insanely diverse. Here's where things started going downhill, people tried to name every variation they could possibly think of. Every way one person would express their sexual orientation or gender identity would be categorized, with a free flag included with each one. Variations included terms that already had a name that just wasn't mainstream yet, terms that are super specific to one or two people, or terms for what's just gender dysphoria but the poster is in denial, some un-cracked eggs that are on the verge of hatching.

The part about categorizing everything is also where a lot of trolls come in. Yeah MOGAI was famously the target of harassment and ridicule, and it is also where the "I identify as an attack helicopter" meme comes from. A lot of people decided that teenagers exploring their identities on the internet was super cringe and worth cyberbullying. Don't worry, the arrow of cringe is now pointing in their direction now for that exact behavior.

The many categories mixed in with the public harassment has led to MOGAI being just another chapter in online LGBT history. Despite its promise, it did not substitute the acronym and has instead lost to queer as an alternative. MOGAI is mostly forgotten, but it does have an impact that can be seen. Specifically in gender identity, it pushed the conversation from gender being a binary to being a spectrum in the mainstream. Non-binary identities did in fact exist before MOGAI and have for as long as humans have existed, but it forced the idea back into the mainstream and now most of us know someone who's non-binary in some way.

With all that said here's to MOGAI, for all its flaws it forced us to have a conversation!

[vergess]

Yeah the thing about 'the rest of these being legitimate gripes' is.... no they aren't.

For example, the phrasing, "tumblr allowed false flags" is a very bold way to reframe what actually hapened. That is, tumblr identified human run harassment campaigns and is currently working to end them.

We’re aware that posts have been marked with a “Mature” community label incorrectly, and the appeals process failed. We’re working to resolve these issues ASAP and ensure it does not happen again. We’re truly sorry about this, it’s not acceptable for us to mess up this process. July 21 2023, Changes

Or did you forget "working to end them" comes after "discovery" for some reason?

The actual quote was to the effect of "human interference has been discovered in our moderation tools and is being addressed." I'll link to the exact quote when I find it again.

But that has been manhandled into "allowing false flags" instead of "actively combatting TERF interference in mod tools."

This post takes "we are fighting this problem" and hears "we are all transphobic freaks."

It's especially funny to see "tgirl" listed as the example tag.

You dipshits may have forgotten, but tgirl is a term originating from sex workers and it refers to those of us who sell ourselves as a trans fetish experience.

Blocking a sex work related tag also being used to harass individuals on their personal selfies is in fact an appropriate approach while addressing an ongoing human interference campaign.

Or, should they just continue to leave a tag that many other websites refer to as a slur, where a bunch of people were being driven to suicide, completely unaddressed so that you can attack them for that instead? Oh, but tumblr should magically know the PORN AND HARASSMENT WORD is actually being reclaimed, and therefore the tag should stay live but MAGICALLY BE CLEANED UP I GUESS, but not by staff, since they're not trustworthy??

Do you want them to keep busting ass working to make this website you can use freely, or not? Which is it?

Or let's talk about tumblr live's "data scraping." The data tumblr live uses is your....... IP address. It has less data than you're fucking alarm clock.

That's the "location data" everyone is pissing themselves over, because they heard "tumblr is selling your location" and went fucking ballistic.

Your IP address, if you don't know, is the thing that connects you to the internet. Unless you use an always on VPN, your IP address is public data that every person on earth can access. You can get someone's IP via their discord, their blog, their anything, because your IP is what attaches you to the rest of the web.

It's "location specific" in the sense that all IP addresses in most countries start with the same 3 numbers.

If this were actually a data hack nightmare why would it be legal in the EU???? Or did we all just forget that international laws exist?

But, you'll note that the link to that one's evidence is broken. Deleted. Poof. I have no idea what that stupid post said, but I know it's a lie because unlike most of these people, I've read the goddamn technical specifications.

"Tumblr made live unsnoozable" is just straight up incorrect. Lies. Tumblr made live snooze for LONGER.

Additionally, we’ve increased the snooze period from 7 to 30 days. Sept 5, Changes.

Or how about "taking away accessibility features." In this case, replacing double tap zooming with pinch zooming on mobile.

In actuality, double tap to zoom and pinch to zoom are mutually exclusive accessibility features. Either you are accessible to people with low finger mobility (double tap) or to people with low muscle stability (pinch).

The "solution" in as much as one exists is to offer both options on a toggle. This is not a realistic expectation in terms of labour, however, for a company of 150 people operating in debt while their own customer base constantly lies about, slanders, harasses and threatens them.

Which brings me to my next point.

PartyJockers Et Al were not banned for """""criticizing staff"""""

They were banned for illegally and falsely reporting a staff member as a child molester. They tried to get a service worker killed for reblogging rated G anime art.

That was the issue.

They didn't like the fandoms a staff member was in, so they tried to kill her. (Oh, sorry, they ~abstracted themselves out of it by merely calling the cops~)

And now, today, people are still passing around these LIES.

Just sit on that. Imagine walking into a fucking restaurant, seeing the waitress has a phone background you don't like, and trying to reporting her to the feds as a child molester with the intent to get her killed.

You know. Violent crimes.

The thing you utter cunts keep saying people SHOULD be banned for?

But that's just the thing, isn't it. No matter what happens, you will find a way to be an indignant piss to service workers.

Or let's take that CEO ad blockers comment. It was made as a joke in part of a long, informal livestream, along with the suggestion to use an ad blockers service.

The JOKE was retracted within an hour, including multiple staff apologies for it being in poor taste. Staff user Zingring, 11 july 2023

Tumblr's dev team then continued their ONGOING efforts to filter unsafe ads, a thing they cannot snap their fingers and fix because ADS ARE SOLD BY THIRD PARTY SERVICES. You have a problem with an ad, report it to the AD AGENCY, tumblr has FUCKALL control of that, you're literally yelling at UNRELATED PEOPLE who are NEVERTHELESS working to solve the problem ANYWAY.

And now.

NOW.

You stupid shitfuck suckass pigstain bastards are harassing ANOTHER SERVICE WORKER TO DEATH but it's okay because, see, you're only trying to get this one to kill themself instead of murder-by-cop.

You disgusting little fuckups.

If you cannot be bothered to learn the basic truth, you can at least stop vomiting such vile lies and be QUIET.

tumblr staff have...

allowed false flags of 100% sfw posts made by transfem users (and blacklisted trans and trans adjacent tags) (edit: '#tgirl' is still blocked as of sept 8th, 2023)

taken away basic accessibility features in an effort to tiktok-ify tumblr

pushed tumblr live, a feature users actively dislike which is mostly unused and overrun by spambots, that also collects all of your data EDIT: staff deleted the blog and post of the user who made the data harvesting expose post (iamdealwithit), as well as rbs. partyjockers and iamdealwithit both had their blogs purged by staff for criticizing them.

allowed ads that can literally kill people via flashing / strobing lights, even if the person had it filtered, despite user complaints, with the ceo even saying people with epilepsy should "just buy ad free" in response to concern over potential death or serious injury from such ads

[NEW!] made tumblr live unsnoozable on mobile, ignoring backlash

[NEW!] a staff member is claiming that people leaving negative feedback is responsible for them being actively suicidal, an attempted guilt trip

STOP GIVING THEM MONEY! stop trying to make crab day or whatever else happen. paying for stuff from the shop is rewarding them for ignoring the userbase continuously and doing things the majority don't want, even if the things they're doing and allowing can cause actual deaths. staff shouldn't be praised and get profit for ignoring their users in exchange for trying to turn tumblr into twitter 2 ft. tiktok. (and now going scorched earth when you criticize them). at this point i don't even care for "staff are people 🥺 be nice" arguments, because even when people are being very polite in feedback, they're perfectly fine ignoring it in exchange for implementing changes nobody wants or asked for (now claiming negative feedback is responsible for them being suicidal), all because new users may like it more (and forget anyone who's used the site for years, apparently).

leave bad reviews. don't buy things from the shop. send feedback, even if they never reply. email them and @ the staff, send asks to the wip blog. don't just blindly buy into "we need to support the site, buy xyz shop product", they don't deserve more money for giving a worse product.

edit: staff have gone scorched earth and removed Every Single RB of the post exposing the data harvesting of live, as well as deleting blogs iamdealwithit and partyjockers for bringing up valid points against staff and their policies (iadwi being the one who made the anti-live post).

[hellomynameisbisexual]

“QUEER”

First of all, let’s clear up a common misconception. Queer does not just mean gay. It’s an umbrella term for an identity which deviates from society’s perceived norm: heterosexual, or straight. Queer can refer to sexualities — gay, bisexual, pansexual, — or it can refer to being gender-queer; i.e, any label that deviates from the perceived gender norm: the binaries, male and female.

“Queer” is a reclaimed slur.

If you do not fall under the umbrella of queerness, it is safe to assume that you cannot use it. At all.

I am bisexual.

This means I experience attraction to plural genders. Pansexual also works fine. For the difference between bisexual and pansexual — see here:

Being bisexual isn’t easy. I went through similar hardships to gay women: I experienced attraction to women and was scared of what this meant for me, in such an oppressively homophobic society.

I am not saying being bisexual is harder than being gay, nor the inverse. But my experiences are distinctly bisexual, not gay.

Without further ado, here are the 3 things I’ve found to be the hardest about being queer, but not gay (enough).

#1: Finding My Place

Or, not being queer enough

I always knew I wasn’t straight, but I didn’t know what I was. Up until recently, I was still questioning. This didn’t feel enough to join groups or conversations with LGBT+ folk, let alone go to pride. Was I even LGBT if I was never L, G, B, or T?

I am still yet to attend a pride, even though I identify (fairly confidently) as bisexual. I am in a relationship with a man. This is (problematically) known as a “straight-passing relationship” and makes me feel even more undeserving of a place at pride.

This has been upsetting to me at times. But for others, it can be outright devastating. Growing up and needing support, but feeling like you’re ‘not gay enough’ to ask for it? So many young people are being left alone and afraid. Finding others like you is vital to figuring out who you are. Likewise, finding spaces which are safe and inclusive is vital for anyone, regardless of their sexuality or gender identity. A friend of mine happens to be a transgender man, and he summed up the issue perfectly:

“One thing that I keep noticing is how all hangout spots are “gay bars”, or (far less common) “lesbian bars”. I’m a straight man, so I don’t feel like I’m supposed to be there, but hanging out at regular bars is still too much of a gamble, so I don’t really have anywhere to go.”

It goes without saying that gay folk aren’t always safe in these spaces, as seen by the homophobic attack on the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, in 2016. Bigotry hurts the entire LGBT+ community. Bigotry doesn’t stop to ask whether you identify as gay or otherwise queer before it pulls the trigger.

But the LGBT+ community itself is much more welcoming to those who “pick a side” and just come out as gay, already. The infighting is inexplicable when one looks to attacks such as that in Orlando: bigots don’t care which letter you are in the acronym. So why does gatekeeping exist when we need to be strong in the face of intolerance when fragmentation only makes us weaker? Who are we helping by continuing to exclude identities from the discussion?

#2: Myths and Misconceptions

Well, it stands to reason that if bisexuals are what they seem in TV and movies, why would anyone want to make them feel included? They’re “greedy” and inauthentic. They’re attention-seeking, not to mention their propensity for threesomes. Now, I haven’t been in a wild orgy yet, but it seems like it will only be a matter of time before I follow my natural path.

Straight men, in particular, need to own up to their assumption that bisexual women are down for a threesome. The thing is, we are. But not with you, you big ASSUMER.

Infidelity

All jokes aside, the stereotyping of bisexuals is not only hurtful, but leads to difficulties finding and maintaining relationships.

As I came to terms with my bisexuality, I also had to accept that I might never be fully trusted by my partner, regardless of their gender or sexuality. I was shocked when my partner reacted to my coming out with the equivalent of a shrug — so much so, that I burst into tears of gratitude that my soul-bearing moment hadn’t been met with slut-shaming or assumptions of disloyalty. Nothing has changed. If anything, our bond is even stronger for me having been more authentic after coming out.

But cruelty came from elsewhere: when I came out, I was told that my partner was to be pitied, either because I’m gay and in denial, or bound to cheat on him. The main consequence of such attitudes has been the crippling fear of coming out to my partner. It saddens me that I felt so relieved when he accepted me for being who I am, and loving him just the same as I always have.

This outcome is not the case for many couples, with straight folk worried that their bisexual partner will realise they’re gay and just leave them. This fear of abandonment comes from a place of ignorance. When the media presents bisexuality as a steppingstone on the way to “picking a team”, it’s no wonder that people struggle to trust their queer partners.

Other Queer Myths

The myth that all trans folk medically transition invalidates those who choose not to do so, and let’s not forget the ignorant jeers that it's all just a mental illness. Asexual folk battle the stereotype that they can never have a relationship and shall forever remain a virgin (because what an awful thing that would be, right?) And pansexuals… well, at the lighter end, they’re asked if they have sex with cooking utensils. But often, they’re erased as irrelevant because “we already have the label bisexual”.

This brings us onto the third and final difficulty that comes with queer folk who aren’t easily categorizable as gay: erasure.

#3: Erasure

Erasure refers to the denial of an identity’s existence or its validity as a label.

Non-binary folk face ongoing and loud claims that they simply do not exist. This is despite the historical and scientific evidence to the contrary. Plus, the most important evidence — them, existing. Asexual folk are told they simply have not found the right person yet, or that they are just afraid of sex. Demi-sexual folk are told “everyone feels like that, unless they’re just sleeping around!”. And bisexuals are dismissed as simply being in denial that they’re gay.

Monosexuality & The Gender Binary

Our culture is so built on monosexuality (being solely attracted to one gender — for instance, gay or straight). Monosexuality is reinforced through everything from marriage to dating apps, the media to what we teach in schools. People cannot fathom that someone might want to experience more than one gender in their lifetime.

The binary models of sex and gender are also deeply ingrained. These rigid belief systems combined are to blame for our inability to accept that bisexuals do not need to “pick a side”. I was paralysed by fear for 17 years because I found girls attractive and that might mean I’m gay, because bisexuals are just gays who haven’t realised they’re gay yet.

Bierasure

Bierasure is dangerous, firstly because it leads a child to have to internalise both biphobia and homophobia. For instance, I had to work through being taught to hate gayness, whilst being taught that any attraction to non-male genders made me gay.

Women were cute, and so I was gay, and this meant I was disgusting.

My own mother told me this. She also told me that something has “gone wrong in the womb” for a child to be gay. (Well, Mum, I’ve got some bad news about your womb!)And she, like any bigot, extended this theory to anyone who experiences same-sex attractions — anyone queer. This is another reason why bi-erasure is perilous. Whether you’re a gay, cis-male or a demi-bisexual, trans woman… if your parents will kick you out for being gay, they will likely kick you out for being any sort of queer.

If we deny the bigotry that bisexuals undergo, we will continue to suffer. It won’t just go away. It will fester, with bisexuals having no one they can go to who believes them. And thus:

Erasure Kills

Bullying and suicide rates of queer-but-not-gay people continue to sky-rocket. We must direct funding, support and compassion to every queer individual, as they are all vulnerable to discrimination and bullying. The problem is being left to fester. This is in part because bigots treat all queer labels as just ‘gay’, deeming them equally unworthy. This is how far erasure can go.

Conclusion

Earlier on, I stated that my experiences are distinctly bisexual. The same applies to any queer identity.

Emphasising our differing paths and struggles is important to avoid the aforementioned erasure of already less visible groups. But this does not mean that the LGBT+ community should be fragmented by these differences.

If we can unite in our hope to live authentically and love freely, we will be stronger against bigotry. We are fighting enough intolerance from without: there is no need to create more from within.

So out of everything, what’s the hardest part about being bisexual?

It’s the fact that nobody knows it’s this hard.

[mogai-corvidae]

is it ok for me to identify as voidpunk even if i haven’t had any hateful or bigoted or dehumanizing experiences? i’ve had a pretty good life, i just feel a connection to voidpunk because i’m neurodivergent and have some strange beliefs regarding society and i don’t like people, and i feel that this label and community feels comfortable.

i don’t want to offend anyone by participating in voidpunk when i haven’t been dehumanized, there’s nothing for me to reclaim. i just really like the idea. can i still identify with voidpunk?

Before we get into the nitty gritty of how we feel about this, I want to emphasize that no one can tell you who you are or what you can or cannot identify as. Ultimately your labels are your business, as long as you’re not deliberately using them in a harmful way, and the fact that you are asking these questions indicates that you do care about respecting these terms and communities. If you were hoping for solid answers, I’m afraid we can’t provide any. All we have to work with is our experience in the voidpunk community and using the voidpunk label. I hope this is helpful, at least.

The voidpunk community, in great part, is made up of neurodivergent people. We are autistic and ND in many other ways, and being ND is one of the largest influences that lead us to the community. I have long emphasized that voidpunk is primarily a community and label that is about reclaiming dehumanization, because that’s very true, but there’s some crucial pieces I think I’ve missed in how I’ve talked about it before. I don’t think people realize that dehumanization doesn’t just look one way. Our personal experiences of dehumanization and dehumanizing oppression have often been of the more blatant and “severe” variety, but those dramatic experiences weren’t the only ones, or even necessarily the most harmful. What has far greater contributed to our current identity and our experiences as a whole is not our more intense experiences of bigoted violence, but consistent experiences of subtle and pervasive ableism throughout society as a whole, and social attitudes about ND people and whether we are deserving of the human right of autonomy. These attitudes don’t just manifest in slurs and hate crimes; far more often they look like passive aggressive comments or systemic issues that are so baked into our every system that they’re near impossible to notice.

I’m not here to tell you what your experiences are, but I know as a neurodivergent person that moving through the world we currently living as ND is in and of itself dehumanizing. We also have many views about society and people in general that are often called “strange” or considered weird in some way, and this is largely because of how neurotypicals value autistic and ND thought. Us being neurodivergent doesn’t just result in direct and explicit ableism, it also results in more subtle and pervasive alienation and other less noticeable forms of oppression. Being neurodivergent means living in a world designed to exclude us, and the invisibility of ND people results in us fundamentally existing outside of the boundaries of what neurotypical people tend to understand as human. The way we think, feel, and express ourselves is often considered by neurotypicals to be outside of the realm of human possibility. Even when we are not literally facing hate crimes or life threatening bigotry, we constantly face isolation and other subtle dehumanization. This is an inescapable and unavoidable fact of living in an ableist society. You say you’ve never had any dehumanizing experiences, and obviously only you can say for sure what your own experiences are, but have you ever considered that dehumanization doesn’t always have to seem obviously bigoted and hateful? Do you know that it’s possible to never face any “extreme” bigotry, but to still be isolated and dehumanized by a society that devalues you as a human person?

I say this because the feelings you’ve described are very similar to many of our own. It is completely up to you how you label your experiences, but I think that there’s a reason you were drawn to the voidpunk label and feel so comforted by the community. The voidpunk community is a community of people who think and feel the way we do, in a way outside of the typical conceptualization of what it means to be human, and it’s very likely that you think and feel that way because you’ve experienced dehumanization without fully realizing or understanding it. A lot of experiences we’ve had with oppression or discrimination, we didn’t even realize were harmful until we were much older and went back to examine the situation further.

If you truly and completely believe that your experiences and feelings have nothing to do with dehumanizing oppression (though, again, I do think that’s a likely possibility, and it’s very possible to experience things like microaggressions or pervasive oppressive attitudes without realizing, also this is very common with ableism specifically) then it still is ultimately up to you to choose how to identify. It’s good that you acknowledge the community as being rooted in reclamation and I do think it’s important to remember and center those experiences as what makes the voidpunk community what it is, but at the same time your experiences generally sound very closely in line with the community and with our personal experiences. Ultimately, what specific trauma you have should not decide your place in an oppressed community, it’s whether or not you identify with it while recognizing and respecting its roots. 

TLDR;If you feel comfortable in the community, go ahead. You’re the only one who can know what labels are right for you and your experiences. I’m certain everyone will welcome you. It’s certainly not a community I’d ever see anyone gatekeeping, and if you do see anyone try to gatekeep voidpunk let me know and I’ll send them a strongly worded message. /hj

[transcephalopod]

And I suffered physical harrassment/abuse while being called gay/dyke/lesbian/trannie. I don’t waste time policing the terms other people reclaim/umbrella. Probably because yes, I do go “outside” lmao. At one point in time the only safe spaces for non-cishet conforming individuals was kink adjacent spaces (bars, drag clubs, kink dungeons), something older people remember better than kids today. There is a reason why higher education teaches “queer theory”. TERF idealogy is about limiting who is allowed in the community and about “getting rid of sexual deviants”, which is the same hate speech used against trans and gay people historically. Are there problems in kink counterculture? Sure, there’s issues in the gay/lesbian communities too. My point is there’s more nuance to these issues than labeling something a slur just like the people who have harrassed you do. There’s a history of alliance that TERF idealogy has attacked since being gay/lesbian suddenly became socially acceptable (legal). Just because it was used to hurt you doesn’t mean you should perpetuate the marginalization. You don’t have to identify as queer but the word has context and history that you aren’t going to be able to dismantle just because someone told you it was wrong. You aren’t a bad person. You’re young and it’s not like they teach this shit in school. It’s okay to be angry but don’t let it stop you from thinking critically about information you get from the internet. And if someone calls you a filthy queer again I will happily hit them with a chair, if you’d like.

motherfucker I'm going to hit you with a chair what is this shit

[imagining-in-the-margins]

im honestly sorry if you feel triggered by this, but how do you feel about mgg fans diagnosing him adhd to excuse him saying the r word? isnt that invalidating towards neurodivergent people because hes not actually diagnosed with it? for some reason that just really bothers me (i have horrible adhd that i actually take medication for and it's awful so it annoys me when ppl ask diagnose with it)

So, I don’t have ADHD - I’m neurodivergent because I am autistic - just want to put that out there before I move on. 

From my understanding, people mistakenly think that he is actually diagnosed. I’ve seen a few people swear they’ve heard him say it. I’ve searched for awhile, but never been able to find any sign of Matthew explicitly calling himself ND in any manner. Since I think a lot of it comes from a genuine misunderstanding, it doesn’t bother me at all. (*If someone has proof he’s identified that way, please let me know and show me the link!).

As for people who are actually openly and admittedly armchair diagnosing, I take issue with that. I’m a firm believer in self-diagnosis, particularly in America and for adults over the age of 20 with NDs, specifically. It is way harder than a lot of people understand to get a proper autism dx in America if you’re an adult. If my parents weren’t willing/able to testify to my childhood, no psychiatrist would believe me. I think a lot of younger folks don’t realize how much our understanding of neurodiversity has changed in the last three years, nonetheless the last thirteen.

HOWEVER, armchair diagnosis is awful in my eyes. I am not a fan for a number of reasons, part of which being that there is often a bias by the person doing it. A lot of ND symptoms overlap between all of the different “qualifying disorders,” and I constantly see people say X is evidence of Y, when the correct statement is X can be evidence of ABCDEFGHIJKLM- (You get the point).

When it’s done by a NT or able bodied person, I get even more upset. They have no business guessing what it’s like to be us or talk about how they perceive us. It’s not their business. They need to keep their (usually ableist) opinions to themselves, period. I don’t want to hear about whether or not they think there is something “wrong” with literally anyone, ever (that includes Cheeto Man, who people seem real comfortable throwing “bad” mental illness labels on).

Lastly, my biggest problem with armchair diagnosis or outing someone’s disability they don’t outwardly express is that it takes the autonomy away from the person that matters. I personally don’t think it’s right to reclaim a slur if you don’t identify yourself as a member of that demographic, since you are benefiting from the pain without any of the work/danger. That being said, some people’s opinions differ. Our histories with our own disabilities and how the world reacts to them are all very different.

Do I think Matthew is ND? Possibly, but it’s not my place to say that for him. If he doesn’t say he is, then I’ll assume that he is not, because that’s probably what he wants. Until he says otherwise, I will assume that he does not want to be identified as ND, and in my opinion, he shouldn’t say the R slur (which, he hasn’t said in almost 5 years now, has removed from his very first directed works and website, is part of a campaign to replace the word, and he has started heavily advocating for adults with intellectual & developmental disabilities - one of THE most neglected demographics). 

Finally, I actually have some semi-controversial feelings about the R-slur itself and who should feel comfortable reclaiming it. The ND umbrella is extremely massive, and includes wildly different experiences. When specifically referencing the R-slur, the people whose opinions should be amplified the most, to me, are the people with intellectual and developmental disabilities that also suffered at the hands of the educational system.

As someone who was in school in the nineties, I went from being officially marked the R-slur on my educational record & being told I’d never be able to hold a job or be a functioning member of society... to being told I needed to skip 3 grades & that I was a genius... Those two experiences are so, so, so, so, SO painfully different. Sure, I still got called the R-slur for my other behaviors outside of the educational context, but we can’t erase the VERY different experiences in SpEd and TAG programs. I just want people to think about that, too. I personally get kind of uncomfortable when people who’ve never struggled with learning or intelligence tests tell me they get to use the word. I don’t feel comfortable using the word, but I also grew up in a very different time. I’m glad that people feel more comfortable with reclaiming the word now, though, because it means we’ve made progress and they feel safer with it! There’s a lot to it, and it’s an intracommunity discussion, anyway.

That’s a brief summary on my feelings. Mainly I want people to be patient with people who say he has ADHD just because I think a lot of people genuinely (albeit mistakenly) believe he’s identified that way. A lot of ND people cling to any representation we can find because it is so rare to find. I try to be more understanding with the topic for that reason.

[shy-bi-cutiepie]

The Actual Facts & History Of Bisexuality

What Is Bisexuality?

"A bisexual is someone who is attracted to more than one gender. You might care about the gender of your partner a lot, a little, or not at all - but their gender doesn't prevent you from being attracted to them." - The Bisexual Index, a UK-based bisexual activist group

"I am bisexual because I am drawn to particular people regardless of gender. It doesn’t make me wishy-washy, confused, untrustworthy, or more sexually liberated. It makes me a bisexual." - Bisexual activist Lani Ka'ahumanu in the 1987 essay titled The Bisexual Community: Are We Visible Yet?

"I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree." - Bisexual activist Robyn Ochs

The Misconceptions VS The Facts

Misconception: Bisexuality is basically being "half straight & half gay."

Fact: Bisexuality is a complex experience that varies from each person who identifies with it -- bisexuality is not simply the "middle ground" between straight and gay; it is not something made up of two already existing sexualities; it is its own sexuality all on its own, and that should be respected and celebrated.

---

Misconception: Bisexuality is inherently transphobic and/or exclusive to other gender identities beyond cis males & females.

Fact: Firstly, to say that bisexuality is transphobic is implying that trans people are not actually male or female as they identify but supposedly some separate gender of their own. This is simply incorrect, and quite frankly harmful to trans people everywhere. Trans men and women are exactly that -- *men* and *women.*

Secondly, to say that bisexuality excludes any gender identity beyond cis males/females not only completely disregards the vast amount of trans/nonbinary people who identify as bisexual, but it also completely disregards bisexual history itself. The Bisexual Manifesto, published in 1990 in the magazine Anything That Moves, was a historic declaration about what it means to be bisexual as defined by members of the bisexual community themselves. Here is a quote from it...

"Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature: that we have "two" sides or that we must be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don’t assume that there are only two genders." 

*Do not assume that bisexuality is binary.* *Don't assume that there are only two genders.*

Bisexuals acknowledged & included more than two genders in their sexuality 30 years ago, and they continue to do so today.

---

Misconception: Bi means two, so bisexuality can ONLY be the attraction to males and females, or any two genders but not more than two.

Fact: First of all, this is an etymological fallacy. The meaning of words can change over time. If that wasn't possible, then no one would ever be able to reclaim slurs. Secondly, here is another quote from bisexual activist Robyn Ochs on the subject...

"Dictionary definitions of bisexuality that rely on an idea of "both sexes" are inadequate. As human beings, we live and love in a world that is far more complicated than these narrow ideals allow. Our attractions do not stay within tidy borders, and our understanding of bisexuality must adapt to this." 

Thirdly, again, as stated in the Bisexual Manifesto from 30 years ago, bisexuality is not limited to the concept of two genders.

The Biphobia Problem

Biphobia, while similar to homophobia, is actually its own unique issue that bisexuals unfortunately face both from general society and even within the LGBT community.

From society, bisexuals very often see ignorant/hateful phrases such as:

"It's just a phase."

"You're faking it for attention."

"Bisexuals are more likely to cheat."

"Bisexuals are greedy."

Bisexuals also face hyper-sexualization, like people assuming they are always up for a threesome, bi women are treated as a fetish for straight men's enjoyment, and bi men are treated as gay men in denial.

From the LGBT community, bisexuals see equally ignorant/hateful phrases including:

"Pansexuality is more inclusive/better than bisexuality."

"Because you also have the capability to be attracted to the opposite gender, you're lesser than or not as important as fully gay/lesbian folks."

"If you choose to be in a relationship with someone of the opposite gender, then you are a traitor/shouldn't be in LGBT spaces."

"You're dating the same gender right now, so you'll only be seen as gay." // "You're dating the opposite gender right now, so you'll only be seen as straight."

Bisexuals also face the incorrect and harmful ideas mentioned earlier, such as bisexuality being transphobic/exclusionary to other gender identities. Some bisexuals have the pansexual label forced on them, being told they *have* to be pan simply because people don't truly understand the actual definition of bisexuality. Additionally, some lesbians refuse to date bisexual women, referring to them as "bihets," simply because they have attraction to men or have been "tainted" by men. The same sort of thing can happen between gay men and bisexual men, where gay men feel like they can't trust bisexual men to be faithful because they might leave them for a woman.

A Message To Bisexuals

Whether you're new to the bisexual label or have been identifying that way for years, whether you're currently closeted or out and proud, whether you're 100% secure in your identity or you struggle with internalized biphobia, whatever the case is -- you are valid, you are supported, and you are loved. Even if it doesn't feel like there's much positivity for you sometimes with all of the ignorance you face, please know that you have a community who is rooting for you. Keep being true to yourself, and don't let anyone tell you who you are. That is for you, and you alone to decide.

[oscar-mildes]

elvira you know I always see what you're hiding in the tags,, I will always read it if you answer all of them abhsjdbs

nev you asked for this and im going to go thru with it bc im an oversharing idiot like oh you asked me how’s the weather i will tell you about all my trauma instead :D 

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? i’m cis yo i’m she/her. i’m biromantic ace. thats the label i would put on it i guess. i really just refer to myself as gay bc i like pretty boys who look like girls and pretty girls and pretty nb and queer people and basically i just like pretty people ajsfbjf

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story? theres no story to it. no epiphany or realization. i just always was ok with thinking that girls were pretty and that gay people are cool and it wasnt until recent years that i was like oH SHIT AM I GAY

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it? no i guess bc i’m a girl and id as a girl and have a very obvious girl body

Who was the first person you told, how did they react? i guess my best friend. we’re both very ok with gay shit and we just always made comments about pretty girls and now we’re both pretty gay. i like my big tiddie anime girls and she likes her pretty kpop girl bands

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel? i’ve only “come out” to some of my friends. i would NEVER in my LIFE even imagine telling my mom i like girls. shes homophobic Like That

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react? uhh see above. my mom, stepdad, family members are all homophobic. hispanics in general are Like That rip. i think my dad would be the most ok with it but he lives in mexico and i dont talk to him often anyway. doesnt matter

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality? i hate when people ask me about the ace part. like they have a bigger problem about my not wanting to have sex over the liking girls part tbh. sometimes it’s difficult for me to even describe where i am on the ace spectrum. it’s honestly the more difficult part 

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear. basic nerd. you know those fics like “she dressed in a black t-shirt, skinny jeans, and all star converse” yea that she is me

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships? ajkfj this is a good question and canon wise i love Ash and Eiji from Banana Fish, Uenoyama and Mafuyu from Given, Nezumi and Shion from No. 6, and Simon and Baz from Carry On. Not canon i love Kurama and Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho, Izuku and Todoroki from My Hero Academia, and Inosuke and Tanjiro from Demon Slayer. Note how most of them are anime i

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any? i dont really wear any bc im lazy. if you like it you do you but idrc for it? except for lipstick i LOVE lipstick i have all the colors. i wear it so it distracts people from the rest of my face

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you? ...no

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community? i live in the south so ive heard tons of shit talk about gay people. i dont really have any that stand out. my mom just likes to say that we’re going to hell :D so let’s give em a show ay

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? i guess i like how we find solidarity in each other just bc we’re not straight. most of the lgbt+ folks i know are pretty chill about everything

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? terfs but they dont count

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not? i live in a small town and i could never sneak out of my house for that bc i still live with my mom so no

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity? theres so many big celebrities now that id as lgbt+ but im going old school and loving my man, my tumblr url namesake mr Oscar Wilde. my man got put in jail for sodomy 

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet? lmao never bc im mean, ugly, and terrible at talking to people irl. i had a bf in middle school? but bc i was 12 i dont count it 

What is your favourite lgbt+ book? Carry On and the sequel Wayward Son. (very anxiously waiting for book 3 Anyway the Wind Blows come on Rainbow Rowell)

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened? for being gay? no. bc im not really out. ive faced discrimination for being a brown woman tho :)))

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show? yall i love gay anime: Given, Banana Fish, No. 6, Yuri on Ice yeee. i dont really watch tv with real people but i think that Brooklyn 99 does a very good job with Holt and Rosa yall im love Rosa

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers? theres bloggers??? um idk i love u nev so you count right @why-do-you-pick-flowers

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim? for a while everyone was mad as hell about “im gay for ___” and idk im gay for everything so thats a “slur” i use for myself

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it? ive never gone omg i’d probably be intimidated as hell like i have a lot of problems just existing so to be existing around very flamboyant and extravagant people like that makes me break into a nervous sweat

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you? ive always felt like a girl even tho my mom always said “oh you like boy things??? you should have been born a boy” but like, your likes and dislike dont determine your gender. i like “boy” things and “dress like a boy” but i dont FEEL like a boy. ive never had any desire to become a boy or id as a boy. gender is a social construct fuck society

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not? i have a very complicated relationship with children. babies are ugly and toddlers are annoying but i feel like if i had children i would love them obviously because theyre mine. this is gonna be a weird analogy but like i dislike cats. BUT  i have cats. and i love the fuck outta them. so i feel like thatd be me with kids. but im ace so like.... who would even have kids with me. i could not. pregnancy seems like a hassle and adoption is... i have thoughts on that but thats for a different post. also i can see myself being married and not having children OR having kids without a spouse. theres just something complicated about having both??? maybe im just fucked in the head idk bro

What identity advice would you give your younger self? you dont hate girls you like them, dumbass

What do you think of gender roles in relationships? fuck gender roles. get pegged, bros. i also have a very specific dynamic if i ever got into a relationship (which you know. wont happen) but like if i dated a guy i feel like i’d be very top. a MAN telling ME what to do??? fuck that. but if i dated a pretty girl??? top me pls

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender? i think ive already said too much oh god someone is gonna look at this and be like what the FUCK but like lmao dont be afraid to ask me i apparently have no shame

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+? it’s scary at first because you think “im not normal” but like pray tell me what is normal. do what makes you happy. fuck society

Why are proud to be lgbt+? i’m comfortable with the people i like. i might not be very confident and i have depression, anxiety, self esteem issues, probs adhd or ocd idfk but at least i know if i see a pretty girl or smth im gonna be like wow that girl is pretty and have no bad thoughts about it. it’s just how it be. after a lot of dissecting my past behavior, ive always been this way. you cant change who you are. just accept it

[justgottafinishthischapter]

Writing Prejudice in a Fantasy Setting

There are a lot of aspects of culture strongly impacted by the world in which they are cultivated. While some Fantasy settings are a bit closer to home, others are completely foreign to our earthly world, and those changes to the world, history, and culture will impact social policies and issues. Due to my extensive study of homosexuality in history, I’ll be using that as my topic, but these topics can be applied to other prejudices.

Without Christianity, there’s probably no Homophobia

Prior to the forced widespread practices of the Christian faith, a fair number of cultures and societies had little problem with homosexuality. Among viking men, they didn’t give a crap so long as the bottom was just as strong a warrior as his lover. In Ancient Greece, the Band of Thebes was an army made entirely of same-sex lovers under the belief that they would fight harder to protect and impress each other. In Native American tribes, there was nothing wrong with a man choosing to do the women’s work, and they were even sought out as the village wise-men. And up until around the 1800s, lesbian activities weren’t even really considered sexual at all by European and American standards due to the idea that women themselves had no sex drives. Even then, the actual reason that Christians were against homosexuality was due to the ideologies of the faith at the time. See, Christianity began to spread through the Roman empire in the 300s AD, but Homosexuality only began to be seen as a sin by the church in the middle of the 1200s AD, 900 years after it spread across Europe. And the source of this sudden shift? Again, it had very little to do with actually going against the Church itself. See, in this era of Christian belief, Earthly life was seen as sort of an awful waiting room, and the only thing that mattered was getting not only your own soul to Heaven, but getting as many other people into Heaven as possible, hence the historic tendencies of Christians to shove their beliefs down the throats of everyone they invaded at knife point. Because the only purpose of life was to lay it down in service of God and to get into Heaven, taking pleasure in Earthly delights was considered selfish and sinful. Because two men engaging in intercourse would not yield offspring and was thus only an indulgence in lesser Earthly delights, it was labeled as a sin because it wasn’t in service to the Christian values of the era. 

So, why did I just write a long paragraph explaining why homosexuality is a sin? Because a fantasy world isn’t guaranteed to have Christianity existing within it, though some writers have equivalents, such as the Faith of the Seven in A Song of Ice and Fire which also derides same-sex relationships. Thus, if you’re planning a novel in a fantasy setting where one or more of the belief systems is against homosexuality (or anything else) this may help serve to inspire you to think about why these things are seen as a sin, how long ago these ideas became a sin, and if the culture has changed since then, are opinions any different now? Homosexuality became a sin in the mid 1200s, but by the time Chaucer started writing the Canterbury Tales in 1387, there were already stereotypes and derogatory slurs used to refer to homosexual men. Understanding the roots of these prejudices can be an integral part of world building and understanding your created world. Nobody really hates for no reason, as prejudices arise from differences in opinion. So ask where these prejudices come from, why do they hold these prejudices, what social, political, or cultural taboo might be being broken by these actions? Ideologies change, and what was offensive long ago might not be offensive now, but people are slow to change. Just because the culture is different doesn’t mean the mass population has changed at the same pace. Old grudges are slow to bury.

The LGBT Community is a Subculture, and thus should be fleshed out and treated like any other culture in your story.

Based on the culture, stigma, and social acceptance you established in the first part, this is where you expand upon it. Due to the need to keep gay romance or sex discreet, gay men developed secret codes to let other men know which team they played for. Whether it be wearing a red carnation in their lapel, wearing a green tie, or carrying a bandanna in their back pocket, there was usually some sort of discreet code. This also extended into dialogue, as phrases like “Are you a friend of Dorothy?” was a common coded way of asking someone if they were gay. Other themes and symbols associated with homosexuality include lavender, such as with the Lavender Scare which accompanied the Red Scare of the 1950s and 60s, or the Pink Triangle worn by homosexuals in Nazi Germany. Symbols could be connected to myths and legends, such as the notoriously bi/pansexual god Apollo. Apollo’s symbols could easily be reclaimed by a closeted shadow society of LGBT people. Phrases such as “Do you weep for the Hyacinth?” could be a stealthy way of finding other homosexuals borrowing from this myth. Beyond these clues and coded messages, there are other aspects of LGBT culture, such as the rise of Shade and Reading with the popularity of drag balls. Most homosexuals moved to larger cities where their chances of finding a partner was better, and due to the higher population density, they were far less likely to be known by half the town, and thus gossip was far less of a terrifying factor. LGBT people would designate locations as safe spaces for them to gather, and many of these locations, including the famous Stonewall Inn were under Mafia protection for a price to be allowed to meet in peace. Subcultures also tend to come with their own language and beliefs, such as the unspoken taboo of outing someone else from the closet. Usage of terms like brownie queen, shade, reading, and twink started off as discreet terms used within the community, and some such as buns have become so widespread that they’re not even necessarily connected to the community anymore, but originate from coded messages used to talk discreetly.

While there are other contributing factors to prejudices in a fictional setting, I’ll wrap up the discussion here, but I can return to it some more at a later date.

[blackwoolncrown]

first off i appreciate all your posts on the word queer, i think you have a really good way of wording them that i and others struggle to. something your recent post brought up (particularly 'what does this look like when we get rid of the framework') is when people who don't have any experience with that word as a slur want to use it as 'reclaimed' - i've had people tell me where they live it's never been a slur/rarely ever had any influence as a slur, and... i never know what to say. what (1)

(2) relationship are people trying to pretend they have to that word if they don’t even have that same history of its use?

I don’t know, I can’t fully say because I only use the word as a conceptual framework, I use it where it has been used– note that I distinctly say LGBT when I mean both the people nad identities– ‘queer’ is a slur and when I discuss it it’s uslally because this specific word is often being used by people who are not Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender, and it is of note that while they would not be able to appropriate such terms, ‘queer’s ambiguousness allows them to appropriate LGBT-specific protections and vocabulary.

Why are they doing this? I will only speculate so far. In many cases it could be a process of their own personal exploration that may indeed lead to them one day ID ing as L/G/B/T, but that process is hampered when they are given license to claim their state cis/hetness is equivalent to LGBT identities.

Which brings me to your being told ‘well I’ve never heard it used as a slur where I live’ and so on. The thing is, this still displays what to me rings as highly suspect lack of empathy. I literally feel, as a person who is smack dab in the middle of several intersections of oppression that that is a red flag.

When someone tells a person that a word is associated with a history of oppression, physical violence and fucking death and that person goes ‘well I’ve never seen such so I disagree’ what has happened in that moment is that the person failed to see the victims you are alluding to and instead self-referred to their own experience as the authority for their behavior. Explaining that the word was associated with suffering did not trigger empathy in them, and that tells me that they do not fundamentally see themselves as like the people in the victim’s group. No matter what they say, or how they identify, this behavior is a litmus test for compassion– literally what kinds of people a person identifies as ‘like’ them and thus deserving of protection/affection.When black people say ‘white/nonblack people can’t say the N word in any context because of a history of oppression’ it is understood to be a perpetuation of racism for person to respond with ‘well I’ve never really seeen that happen my friends don’t say it that way’ what we hear is my opinion is more important than yours, and your story of suffering does not move me.

It doesn’t matter if I’ve never heard someone use g***y as a slur, when Romani people say don’t say it and that the word is actually rooted in racist oppression, my non-Romani experience of never having perceived that form of racism is irrelevant- of course I haven’t experienced it, I’m not Romani. I wouldn’t know. But I do feel that they are people like me who I do not wish to hurt, and thus I would not use the word anymore. If I continued to ignore their complaints and instead brought up my experience of it being an ‘okay’ term, I would be silencing them.So I don’t really care what arguments can be made for ‘inclusivity’, when I see people who do not exist in bodies/experiences that are policed or oppressed along homophobic/biphobic/transphobic lines and have not been made to see themselves as victims of hate crimes say that the word is theirs to use and/or that an LGBT person not wanting that term to be used as a label for them/the commnity is ‘problematic’ and that the word has a ‘positive history of reclamation’ what I also hear is “and I don’t care who it hurts, I don’t know anyone who has been hurt by that word, I do not empathize with these so called victims, I do not see from their perspective’, i.e. “I’m not actually like them and I have the privilege not to care.”These people will never say that, but the behavior of not feeling like ‘oh, oh wow let me never risk bringing that violence into anyone’s mind’ says volumes. Inadvertently they openly admit that not only do they not personally empathize, they aren’t even adjacent enough to the oppression to recognize it.Similarly it speaks volumes when people who consider themselves ‘queer’ display no willingness to understand intracommunity issues, intersectionality etc,, and who flippantly choose not to care about the term and community’s history in favor of accepting that they may be perpetuating oppression. 

When someone brings up the fact that your behavior is harmful, and you choose to say their complaining is problematic, that’s oppressor talk and I’ve seen it before.

[itsladykit]

Can you tag queer?

I’m so sorry, Anon. I am going to have to ask for clarification here. I’m usually happy to tag for stuff, but I really need to know what I’m tagging for.

That word isn’t used a slur where I live—its been pretty effectively reclaimed in my area—but I know in some areas it is, and I know it can be offensive to some people. Do you want me to tag for the use of that word in particular? I can promise that I would never reblog something where it was used as a slur, but considering it isn’t universally a slur, it might appear on this blog for one reason or another. I’d be happy to tag for it’s use, if that’s what you’re asking. I think “q word” is what I’d use. I’ll warn you, though; it doesn’t register as a slur for me, so it’s very possible that it might slip though untagged. I’ll do my best to catch it, but I cannot in good conscience promise you that you’ll never see it. Just to warn you. 

Or do you want me to tag for discussion of LGBTQ+ issues? I don’t really post about that stuff very often and when I do, it’s usually for aromantic or aro-spec things, so I tag it as “aro”. Sometimes there’s some asexual things that slip through, and I’ll tag those as “ace”. If I ever reblog anything related to the trans community it would be labelled as “trans”. Anything else would probably be labeled as LGBTQ, LGBT, and LGBT+; the former tags would likely be paired with one or more of the latter as well. I try to use multiple tags when possible. I know discussion of these topics can seem political to some people, and I understand wanting to avoid that when you’re not in the mood for it. 

However, this is, by and large, a blog for Male/Male ships, so a good chunk of the fandom stuff I reblog would likely be either Male/Male, or Female/Female in the case of Alphys and Undyne. So if your problem is with gay, lesbian, or other “non-traditional” relationships, I’m afraid that simply not following would be the better option for you. I do tag relationships by the individual shipnames if there’s a particular relationship you want to avoid, however. 

Please let me know. I’m sorry if this seems like a stupid question or like I’m being difficult, but I really do need the clarification. Thank you. 

[mr-dys]

Current opinions on popular discourse

- You don’t need dysphoria to be trans, but you do need incongruence (the disconnect itself, not the discomfort)

-Being trans is a mental illness and gender incongruence is a diagnosable disorder. Gender dysphoria should be considered a possible side effect of incongruence

-Cishet aces/aros aren’t causing as many problems as a lot of people think and should be allowed to enjoy lgbt+ spaces, but should recognize that they are not nearly as actively and violently oppressed as others in the community and should let them speak on some matters

-MOGAI is valid as long as those using MOGAI terms and pronouns recognize and understand that most of the world disagrees and it’s just gonna be like that for a while longer

-Same goes for neopronouns

-Suicide baiting is never okay, EVER

-Both sides of any argument have extremists that’re doing harm, sometimes one side more than the other, but they’re always there

-Otherkin isn’t bad as long as the person participating understands their feelings and reasoning about it and understands that it’s not something that should be used as a main coping mechanism for serious issues, and that if they have other issues they should seek professional help

-Factkin are not something that should be discussed in large circles or celebrated, but if it’s a coping mechanism for a larger issue a person has, I understand and it’s okay to have that coping mechanism if it’s your only option, but that person should seek professional help to work through their problems.

-He/Him lesbians are still confusing for me but I understand at least some of the history behind the use of that identity with those pronouns, and again I’d never attack somebody for identifying that way, I’m just still confused on the matter, but I’m actively educating myself on it

-Drag should be open to celebrate for all, but you can’t be a drag queen if you’re a cis woman or a drag king if you’re a cis man. I’m still unsure about what to think on trans men being drag kings or trans women being drag queens.

-Pansexual is an okay label to use for people who use it mostly because it just makes them feel better, but anybody who uses it SPECIFICALLY because they think bisexual is too exclusive of a label is biphobic and frankly transphobic/enbyphobic

-TERFs and SWERFs should still fuck off

-Cultural appropriation isn’t cool or good but if it’s in the case of something that is very openly practiced or used and you understand the history behind it, it’s okay to do (things like wearing leis or wearing kimono/yukata) (but if it’s something that is like. Sacred to a culture or from a closed culture or religion? Don’t even think about it unless you’re from or apart of that culture/religion or you’re with somebody from that culture/religion who is approving of your actions)

-Any and all slurs can be reclaimed by those they were used against

-Don’t use reclaimed slurs to talk about people who are still uncomfortable with said slurs (things like queer)

-People can change and many of our past mistakes don’t reflect our current selves (literally any person on this hellsite I guarantee could have a callout post made about them that would turn everybody against them if we all took every mistake as heavily with normal people as we do with celebrities etc)

Let me know if there’s any other hot tea I forgot to put my two cents down on

[nightcoremoon]

system of a down covered shame on a n*gga by the wu tang clan

method man, raekwon, and ol dirty bastard laid down the original verses that serj covered and then the rza contributed an added verse for it so I don't know who of the four gave serj the "n-word pass" but what little that I know about the pass is that it can only be used around that specific black person.

and I can hear the argument "serj isn't white though, he's armenian" swiftly being countered by "nonblack poc still can and do benefit from antiblack racism and shouldn't use the n-word either"

now I love system of a down but I feel that was exceedingly poor judgment on their part since other artists have been labeled racist and been pretty much blacklisted no pun intended for a lot less than that.

UNLESS, of course, covering a song with the express permission of the original artist that just so happens to contain a reclaimed slur in it does not "count" as using the slur, especially when you're being produced by a jewish man who has worked with run dmc, ll cool j, public enemy, ludacris, sir mixalot, rage against the machine, jay z, kanye west, and a few other black artists.

because jews and armenians should not be pitted against black people in an oppression olympics and should simply be allowed to sit and collaborate and make music.

at least that's what I've gathered. if I'm wrong and liking system of a down is antiblack racist then please feel free to let me know.

inb4 an anon saying "you're a racist because you implied that black people are unreasonable when it comes to racist issues" and followed immediately by another anon saying "you're a racist because you like serj and serj is a racist because he sang the n-word despite not being black" confusing the hell out of me on what is and isn't actually racist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

all I know is I don't say the n-word when I hear wu tang, tribe, roots, nwa, p.e., nicki, gambino, outkast, tupac, biggie, bone thugs, n9ne, dre, or ice t, which is the bare fucking minimum in visible racism when it comes to listening to music by black artists as far as I'm aware and there's no gold medal for that, MISS GRANDE.

[lgbtcrashcourse]

Pride Month Lessons Syllabus

A month long crash course in gender, sexuality, lgbt+ history, culture, and activisim. 

The lessons cover guides and places to look when exploring personal identity as well how to talk respectfully to and about people who aren’t cis and/or straight. 

Week 1: Gender

Day 1: what is cis

definition

am I cis? Are you cis?

Day 2: what is gender?

gender expression

gender roles

historical gender

gender identities

meaning of gender

Day 3: what are pronouns?

some historical pronoun facts

how to refer to people

importance of pronouns

how to learn about and practice pronouns

Day 4: how do you know what gender you are?

lets go more in depth into what gender means

how people figure out gender

some terms that are helpful

some further resources

gender diagram

images of people with different genders

gender testimonials

Day 5: Trans and non binary folk and how best to talk to and about them respectfully 

what do you do if you don’t know someones gender? Or there pronouns?

trans and non binary identities and how you to talk and think about their gender

when you should ask people for their pronouns

pronoun hints tips and tricks

pronoun practice recap

dead names! How to talk about people in present and past tense.

Transition

what is it

what does it mean

social vs. hormonal vs. surgical

how to talk about someone who has transitioned, will transition, is undergoing a transition, or doesn’t plan on transitioning (she’s been a woman the whole time,)

Day 6: recap

what is gender (diagram)

A person is the gender they say they are. Take and conceptualize it at face value. If someone regardless of appearance, says they are a woman, then they are one. etc.

correct pronouns

some genders and definitions

how to conceptualize gender identity

a brief discussion about a current trans person in which we test how you’ve improved on things like not dead naming, understanding gender identity, and correct pronouns

Week 2: Sexuality

Day 1: what is sexuality

major sexualities (LGBQP lesbian, gay, bi, queer, pan, poly sexual, ace, aro etc)

romantic vs. sexual attraction (when it matters and when it doesn’t

some quotes and feelings from People with different kinds of attraction

Day 2: what sexuality am I?

what sexuality are you?

a complex description of what attraction is and how you know.

Day 3: gender and sexuality

how these things are related and not

a deeper dive into terminology i.e. sapphic, vs. lesbian vs. wlw, vs. nblw, vs. queer etc

Day 4: best practice when talking about sexuality

Chosen labels

speculation and labeling others :/

alphabet soup

Queer —> a complicated issue

slurs and reclaiming of slurs

who can you tell vs. not tell

Day 5: heteronormativity and microagressions

not seeing yourself in media

bad representation

censorship

tv

youtube and the ad controversy

Tumblr and the adult content controversy

shielding children from basic understanding of who they are as people

death by 1000 cuts

at work, out and about

what not to say

Day 5: recap

what is sexuality

best practice for labels

heteronormativity and smaller forms of less apparent discrimination

censorship and its ramifications

Week 3: History and Activism

Day 1: important historical figures that happen to be gay

newton

ann frank

shakespeare

da vinci

etc.

how we talk about gender and sexuality throughout history when it wasn’t explicitly stated since these people are no longer alive to tell us themselves

Day 2: sexuality throughout history

origin of homosexual and heterosexual as words

origin of queer, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and asexual

famous gay and non straight folks and how they contributed to lgbt+ history

art and literature

Day 3: gender through history

gender and colonialism

historical trans and non binary figures and how terms and understanding evolved

how advances in medicine helped inform the lgbt+ community

mental illness vs. de medicalizing lgbt+

art and literature

Day 4: lgbt+ movements in the US and abroad

Day 5: activism

current struggles

in the US

housing for homeless youth

gender recognition on ids

the right to use the restroom

you can still get fired for being gay legally in most of the US. The cake case and the ruling happened and thats not great

gay adoption

conversion therapy

globally

history of the movement

activism in art and literature

Day 6 Recap: how has the history of lgbt+ culture impacted modern day

How do we talk about historical lgbt+ folk

How has our understanding of gender changed with time?

How about sexuality?

what are some current lgbt+ movements?

Week 4: Culture and Recap

Day 1: the modern lgbt+ community

how we talk about each other

celebrities and how we talk about lgbt+ who are famous and out (or not)

current issues, concerns, and controversy

lgbt+ folk and the media

good representation

bad representation

queer coded characters

why” he’s gay but its never mentioned in the text” is unhelpful

one lgbt+ person alone is unrealistic because we Find each other even when we don’t know what we are yet

censorship

Day 2: the role of the ally

we need you:

help fight for rights

defend us when we aren’t in the room

promote lgbt+ folk in the workplace

gain a comfort level with lgbt+ issues

teach this comfort level to others

when writing, creating, watching, or sharing media consider lgbt+ representation

the most important thing to learn is to keep learning. 

No one is unproblematic. 

Being willing to continue to listen to lgbt+ folk and continue to learn new things is the most important and helpful thing you can do.

Day 3: gender recap

Day 4: sexuality recap

Day 5: history and activism recap

Day 6: Test

2 parts

1 part exam with write ins and multiple choice

1 part conversation where we talk about lgbt+ folk and issues

You will be marked on your correct knowledge of best practices when talking about people that aren’t straight and/or cis. And also on your knowledge of history, culture, gender, sexuality, and activism of the lgbt+ community

Day 7: debrief

your questions, comments, and concerns

any final things you want to learn

my advice for areas to keep studying up on

any further resources I have to give

suggested further topics/ info to research