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halfabreath · 3 years ago

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Holster goes on Survivor after graduating, part 2

here! we! go! part one here, tag here

so Holster's got a strategy to update and an ex lover to deal with and like. He and Esther didn't end great.

I feel like we don’t talk enough about why Holster’s chirped so much for hooking up with Esther in canon? Like there’s mention of a rash and a saga that requires an email but we don’t really know?

but essentially Holster likes Esther and is made fun of for it and I can’t imagine that feels good for her? And they probably didn’t do it in front of her but surely that’s not great for anyone’s mindset

Holster and Esther start dating after Winter Screw and she’s so enamored with this sweet dork who sings to himself while he brushes his teeth but the second he’s around his friends she feels like he doesn’t change per se but he showcases such different parts of himself and she likes what he doesn’t show! She’s into that! But that’s Holster like a large percentage of the time and Esther’s got a life of her own so they’re on again off again, Esther doesn’t come to kegsters or games and things fizzle and reignite a couple of times until Holster becomes a captain

Esther knows in her bones Holster will never ever ever ever ever ever choose her over his team (especially Ransom, like what’s the deal there?) and honestly Esther Does Not Enjoy having intimate conversations about how things make her feel and she’s really good at talking her way around her problems so when They break up Esther’s trying to articulate how she feels around SMH she says “I hate who you are when your uniform is on” and for Holster, who’s entire identity rests on being on A Team (literally his position on the team is being part of a tiny two person team within the larger team) this is his life this is what makes him happiest this is how he feels most himself so Holster hears “I hate the thing that makes you you”

So yeah! They broke up and then avoided each other and didn’t really get closure but also neither of them are bitter, it just felt kind of like “man I miss hanging out with them but yikes who was I at that point??”

of COURSE the first challenge involves the exes having to work together in pairs for their tribe and it’s a clusterfuck and Esther is downright cold to him. She’s sending him all the bad vibes in the world and Holster’s now legitimately worried he destroyed her life with their breakup because there’s some tangible animosity there and then they lose the first challenge and Holster’s wondering why he even got out of bed this morning when Esther pops up behind him and says “come with me, I need your long ass arms for coconuts”

The SECOND they’re out of earshot from the camp Esther‘s like “I’m really sorry I was so mean but I think it’s a huge advantage for the rest of the exes to think we hate each other so they don’t suspect an alliance”

Holster: So you don’t hate me? We’re good?

Esther: Good isn’t the word I’d use, Adam

Holster: That’s fair, I wasn’t a very good boyfriend. But I’ve got your back and we’re going to the top three, you good with that? Here, have a coconut wait let me open it for you

Bada bing bada boom, alliance

Don't get me wrong, it's awkward. Like, really awkward. The vibe of this island is uncomfortable and the near-constant rain for the first five days certainly doesn’t help and their tribe loses three immunity challenges in a row so this alliance is TESTED but Esther and Holster always surreptitiously check in by having lightning fast strategy sessions by the well or when everyone has left camp and they’re SO careful to maintain the illusion that they hate each other when they’re actually earning back trust day by day

Holster’s SUPER helpful around camp. He always offers to carry heavy things and makes people laugh and always knows exactly where the machete is and delivers coconuts to people when they’re resting but it’s miserable

There’s this SWEET moment where, after watching Esther shiver for three days straight Holster takes the machete to the woods and cuts off the bottom half of his sweatshirt to make a scarf/towel/wrap for Esther and they pretend like she did it out of spite and honestly? It’s a power move that helps Holster gain access to this smaller faction of people so they have more intel because the other contestants are like this helpful strong idiot need someone to look out for him

It also means Holster’s running around this island in a cropped sweatshirt and compression shorts

The Himbofication of Adam Birkholtz is complete

And even though Holster’s constantly surrounded by people, hungry, wet, participating in incredibly strenuous physical challenges, and at Tribal Council every night it’s still better than having to hear Ransom say they’ll never be together

Esther can fully tell Something Is Up. At first she just thought it was the stress of the game and the circumstances but then during a challenge she and Holster are on a platform way out in the water waiting for their turns on a relay race and they’re actually completely alone for the first time in days and she absolutely uses that time to interrogate Holster because she’s efficient, damn it

And Holster’s annoyed she’s taking his head out of the game and he’s exhausted and hungry and he’s the last leg of their team which means if he loses they all go to Tribal AGAIN and he can’t let his team down, he really can’t so the whole thing bursts out because he just wants her to stop and it goes like:

Esther: Look, I know you’re annoyed but you’re not telling me something and I think you can see why that would be concerning to me given the fucking context

Holster: It doesn’t have anything to do with the game, you know I’d never jeopardize this for us

Esther: No, that’s not what I think it’s just -

Holster: Holy hell, all I did was tell Ransom that I’m in love with him, are you happy?? NOW SWIM, SHAPIRO

Esther, while diving: I FUCKING KNEW IT

Holster, under his breath: that makes one of us, you could have told me. saved me a lot of time. Rude.

So now Holster’s just admitted this before his ex and 7 million viewers and oh yeah he’s gotta swim through an obstacle course so he and his team can eat today

And finally, FINALLY, their tribe wins. Holster gives it everything he’s got to gain ground (water?) and win it for the team and he’s just laying in the sand, trying desperately to catch his breath, Jeff Probst screaming in the background, while his whole tribe swarms him and if he closes his eyes he swears he can feel the ice under his feet and hear the clack of the sticks and pucks and it’s the first celly he’s earned in years and it feels incredible but it makes him ache for Samwell

Jeff notices that he’s tearing up and of COURSE asks what it’s all about and Holster’s swallowing back tears when he says “I’ve spent my whole life playing on one team or another and after graduating from college I suddenly wasn’t? And I didn’t know how much I missed it until I was on a team again and I even though I love my friends I think this is the first time I’ve let myself admit that things aren’t like they used to be and that I’m not, either”

So Ether’s watching her ex cry on national television and for the first time she understands exactly how deeply he loves his team? And how hard he tries to make them proud of him? And suddenly a lot of their relationship makes a hell of a lot more sense

After the challenge Holster’s laying in a hammock and Esther rolls into it with him and just says “We’re good. Top three?”

Holster, beaming: Bro! Top three!

Esther: What did I tell you about calling me bro when we’re cuddling

Holster: I thought that only applied to post-coital romantic cuddling? Unless of course you’re trying to tell me that you’re ARDENTLY in love with me

Esther: shut up

Holster: a heart full of LOVE a heart full of SONG NO FEAR NO REGRET A NIGHT AS BRIGHT AS DAY -

Ether: Hi, guys?? can someone vote me off this island please?

Part 3 coming soon!! This is so much!! But I fuckin love it!!

#survivor!holster #adam birkholtz #Adam holster Birkholtz #holster #holster af #omgcp au #Esther Shapiro #holsom au #HOLSOM

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ppangjae · 4 years ago

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THE STORY UNTOLD | Jaehyun

SEVEN LETTERS | THE STORY UNTOLD

SUMMARY. Jaehyun finds himself catching feelings for you, his best friend. But the problem is that he’s in a relationship with someone else. In hopes of receiving a sign, the last sign he expects to receive is a letter. A letter from his future self.

GENRE. soulmate!au | childhood friends to lovers!au | fluff | angst

WORD COUNT. 6.6k+ words

author’s note. BEFORE you read this, i strongly suggest you read Seven Letters. this is a sequel to that fic. if you haven’t read Seven Letters, you’re probably going to get really confused when you read this sequel. also, i just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who read Seven Letters. the amount of feedback i got is just so overwhelming and i never expected things to turn out like this omg. happy reading!

—Future

This is impossible.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

Johnny frowns. “Like that.”

Jaehyun lets out a scoff. Johnny lets out a soft snort, shaking his head at his best friend who’s sitting across from his desk. Johnny adjusts his glasses before clasping his hands on the table. “Do you not believe me or something?”

“This feels stupid. No, this is stupid.” Jaehyun mutters, gesturing at the blank piece of paper on the desk. “You want me to write a letter to my past self? About what?”

“You do know that I charge my patients an extra fifty bucks for every half hour past their scheduled appointment time.” Johnny reminds me. “If I were you, save your fifty bucks and start writing your letter.”

“Stop lying, you don’t do that.” Jaehyun scoffs again. “What is a stupid letter to my past self gonna do? Change my future?”

Johnny points at him. “Bingo.”

“And you expect me to believe you?”

“Why don’t you just try it? Besides, if it doesn’t change your future, at least you did yourself some self-counselling. Closure. Don’t you want closure?” Johnny folds his arms. He has a point. “As your best friend, I care about you. But I’m tired of having you come here for counselling sessions.”

“You’re not helping—”

“Just give a try! God, you make me want to pull my hair off my scalp and I’m already losing hair from all the stress you’ve been giving me since your divorce.”

—Present

“Jaehyun, you have mail!”

His mother is waving an envelope in the air just as he steps out on the front porch. He squints his eyes at the envelope with suspicion. “Who sends letters these days? We live in a world where technology is evolving—”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just take your mail, Jaehyun.” His mother disregards his ramble by placing the envelope into his hands. “Your father wants us to make a trip to the grocery store. Do you want us to get you something?”

“I’m good,” he replies. He’s too busy staring at the familiar handwriting on the envelope. The strong familiarity bothers him.

As his parents are hopping into the car and pulling out of the parkway, Jaehyun’s heading back inside of the house. He’s gently closing the door shut before making a beeline for the kitchen. He pulls out the kitchen scissors and cuts the envelope open.

“Why is this letter so thick?” He thinks aloud, pulling out a 10-page letter. “If this letter isn’t life changing and if I waste my time reading a thick ass letter, I might just combust—”

He stops mid-sentence when he finally realizes it. It’s his handwriting. He’s confused. Why would he send himself a letter? In fact, why would he send himself a 10-page letter when he can literally just type it all out in an email instead? He tilts his head in confusion. He decides to start reading it.

To Jaehyun,

Don’t be alarmed. You recognize the handwriting, right? It’s because it is your handwriting.

I am you from the future.

You’re probably wondering how and why you’re getting this letter. Trust me, I’m not even sure if you’ll get this letter. But if you do, then damn, what the flipping fuck?

Read this letter carefully because it will be a lot to take in.

He lets out a laugh. Is he going crazy? Him from the future? Sending him a handwritten letter? For what? What kind of sick joke is this and who is pulling it? Who is the culprit? Oh right, it’s him from the future.

I made the biggest mistake and I need you to fix it.

Do you remember Y/N, your childhood best friend? Y/N is your soulmate. You are destined to be with her. As I write this letter to you, I have lost almost all forms of communication with Y/N.

I made the biggest mistake of falling in love with someone else. I fell in love with someone who I am not destined to be with. I married this person and have been married to her for three years. We had just filed for a divorce a month ago.

His eyebrows knit together in confusion. His future self must have fucked up that bad that he resorted into writing a letter to his past self. But why?

I don’t want you to experience what I went through, past Jaehyun. I don’t want you to lose Y/N. I’m sure you don’t want to lose Y/N either. Y/N is everything you could ever want.

He’s almost done reading the first page of the letter before carelessly shoving the letter back into its envelope. He’s rushing out the door with his car keys. He’s literally running out the door in nothing but a pair of sweats, a hoodie, and his infamous pink house slippers. There’s only one thing on his mind right now.

Here are three things I need you to remember:

The moment you realize you’re in love with Y/N, you must tell her before it’s too late.

Y/N will be moving out when you get this letter. Y/N will be moving into another city and won’t tell you.

Y/N’s going to board the train at 4pm. You must get to her before then if you plan on confessing to her.

It’s funny how all it takes is one sketchy letter from what claims to be his future self to make him realize the truth; he’s in love with you.

Those feelings you have for Y/N? Yes, they are true and sincere. Y/N has been in love with you for the longest time. It was my biggest mistake of thinking it was a joke and letting her become the one that got away.

—Future

Jaehyun puts his pen down onto the table and picks up his cup of coffee. He can already imagine his past self cussing him out for making the letter too long. But he made sure that he stated the most important points on the first page of the letter.

There are many things that he regrets doing. He hopes that his past self will make things right.

“Where are you, Y/N?” He thinks out loud as he looks out the window.

It’s the first snowfall of the winter season. There are couples scattered down the sidewalks, enjoying and taking advantage of this romantic day. He can’t help but remember the first snowfall that changed the way he saw you. He remembers it like it was just yesterday.

He picks up his pen and continues to write his letter.

If you get to Y/N on time, tell her that you love her. I wish I told her.

I regret not telling her.

You’re probably wondering why the fuck is this letter so long? But trust the process. I’ll tell you all of the things I regret doing in this letter because it’s the only way to give myself closure.

I caught feelings for Y/N on the night of Christmas Eve. In fact, I was probably already in love with her before that. But on the night of Christmas Eve, that’s when I realized that I was in love with her and that she wasn’t just a best friend.

He sucks in a deep breath and places the pen back down onto the table. He shuts his eyes and remembers that night.

“Y/N!”

You’re standing right in front of him, snowflakes slowly falling from the sky and landing on the top of your head. He feels warm with his thick scarf wrapped around his neck, but your presence makes him feel much more warmer; like home.

“Jaehyun!”

You finally spot him when you hear his voice. He feels overjoyed. He feels like he’s floating among the stars that scatter across the sky. This is the first time he’s felt this way in weeks. Heck, probably months.

He stops to look up at the sky. “It’s snowing!”

“The first snowfall of the season.” You add, letting out a soft giggle. “Long time no see, dork.”

He remembers looking at you in awe. Your hair had grown longer and you had matured. The snowflakes that fall from the sky make you stand out more. You’re smiling at him so wide that your eyes form into beautiful crescents. He remembers feeling his heart stop. He remembers wondering why he always felt this way whenever he was with you.

“Do you know what the first snowfall of the season means?”

“First snowfall means first love. It also means that the person you’re with on the first snowfall of the season will be the love of your life.”

“Do you believe in it?” You let out a lighthearted chuckle. “If you do, then that means I’m the love of your life.”

“Why? Are you in love with me or something?” He chuckles as he makes the joke.

He swore he saw your smile falter. He swore he saw you look taken aback. He swore he saw you look serious for a split second before mustering up a fake smile and saying—

“Me? In love with you? No, you’re my best friend!”

“You’re joking. Stop joking around, Y/N. Are you in love with me?” He asks for reassurance.

You shake your head. He swore he felt his heart shatter. He swore he felt disappointed. He swore he felt heartbroken hearing you tell him that you weren’t in love with him.

Because he’s in love with you.

He’s caught feelings for you.

“I see you as my best friend, Jaehyun. Nothing more and nothing less.”

But who would’ve thought that it would be a lie?

—Present

He hopes he’s not too late. He hopes he’s not too late. He hopes he’s not too late—

If you get to Y/N on time, tell her that you love her. I wish I told her.

I regret not telling her.

Don’t be a hopeless fool like me.

You’ll regret it. Ever since I married someone else, all I’ve ever done was reminisce and regret.

I hope you get to her on time. You must get to her on time. Or else you’ll be a little too late… again.

She’ll be waiting. In fact, all she’s done was wait for the perfect time and moment.

“Y/N!”

He spots you sitting on the waiting bench. You’re holding what seems like a letter. You’re shoving the letter into your pocket. He starts jogging up to you after running across the entire parking lot. He even bought himself a train ticket just to get inside the station to find you.

And he’s glad he did.

“Jaehyun?”

He’s rushing over to you. He watches you stand up to greet him until he crashes you into a tight embrace. He shifts all of his weight on you as you stand there, completely caught off guard. “Jaehyun, what are you doing here?”

He pulls away from the hug. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that? What are you doing here?”

You look up at him with a confused look. “I—I got hired at a company out of town. I moved out. I’m moving into an apartment in another city—”

The letter from his future self was right. You’re moving out of town for your job. You’re moving out and you didn’t tell him. The letter was right. What kind of magic is this?

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He frowns.

“I figured it would be best not to tell you because I knew that you would hold me back. And if you held me back, I don’t think I’d ever move out.”

“But you should’ve told me. I came over to take you out for lunch only to find out that you’re moving out of town and into a new city. Do you know how sad I felt?”

“I’m sorry—”

“And then I started wondering why you didn’t tell me about this. I started to wonder if I did something wrong. I couldn’t think straight. I drove all the way here in hopes that I don’t miss you and that I catch you right before you ride.” He finds himself rambling. “If I didn’t catch you on time, I wouldn’t know what to do.”

“Jaehyun—”

Before you go to the train station, I want you to break up with Yeona— “I broke up with Yeona.”

Y/N will probably get mad at you for it. “What?! Why would you do that?!”

He looks at you for a brief moment. You are mad. A laugh of disbelief threatens to escape his lips.

“Why did you break up with her? She’s in love with you, Jaehyun! You’re supposed to propose to her—”

Tell her that you’re in love with her. Because you are. I was a stupid fool for not believing that my feelings for her were true and real. Don’t be like me.

“Because I’m in love with you.”

“Huh?”

“I’m in love with you.” He lets out a nervous laugh as he repeats it for you.

When you tell her that you’re in love with her, it’ll be the most simplest thing to do. When it comes out of your mouth, it will sound right. It will sound like you’re meant to tell her that you’re in love with her, because you are.

“You’re in love with me?”

His future self is right. He’s completely surprised at how perfect and easy it felt to tell you his feelings for you. It was like he was destined to tell you. Loving you sure is easy.

“I’m in love with you, stupid.”

You blink up at him. “Jaehyun, you’re not making any sense right now. It was just weeks ago when you asked me if I should ask Yeona to marry you. It was just weeks ago when you told me that you missed her a lot. It was just weeks ago when you thought my confession was a joke—”

I want you to tell her that you’ve been in love with her since the night of Christmas Eve.

“On Christmas Eve, I picked you up. Yeona and I were going through a rough time in our relationship and I was starting to question if we were meant to be together. I asked and begged for a sign.”

“A sign?”

“The first snowfall. You and I were together on the night of Christmas Eve, where we both witnessed the first snowfall. You asked me if I knew what it meant,” he explains. “I thought ‘Is this the sign I’ve been looking for?’ and then I joked around asking if you were in love with me, not expecting you to say yes. And you did. I couldn’t believe it.”

“Jaehyun—”

“And that summer where you didn’t come up to the cottage. I felt lonely even though I was with Yeona. Things just didn’t feel the same.” He lets out a shaky laugh. “Everything started to remind me of you. I just knew Yeona was annoyed about it. I kept talking about how this and that reminded me of you. It was all starting to make sense.”

“But you still had thoughts about asking her to marry you.” You say and he shakes his head.

If she tries to test you by saying that you were contemplating on proposing to Yeona, I want you to say this— “I asked you for your opinion on it because I couldn’t trust my own decision. I wanted to see if you would say no. A part of me was begging you to say no.” He tells you the truth. He really was hoping you to say no. “But you told me that you love me and that your confession wasn’t a joke. That’s when I knew.”

“So,” you mumble. “You’re in love with me?”

“I confessed my feelings for you three times already.”

“But I want to hear it again—”

“The train is arriving in two minutes. The train is arriving in two minutes.” The speaker announces. The two of you look at each other.”

“I’m in love with you, Y/N.” He confesses again. He can say it as many times as he wants, and it will still feel true and it will still be sincere. “But do you really have to leave me here?”

“I’m in love with you too, Jaehyun.” No matter how many times you’ve already told him that, it always feels like it’s his first time hearing it. He can hear it over and over again and he will still feel like the only man in the entire universe. “And yes, I have to go, Jaehyun. I can’t keep taking the train everyday to work.”

“Can I move in with you, then?”

“Not until you give me a kiss first—”

“How about I marry you instead?”

If you both end up together, which I know you will,

I will finally get the closure that I needed.

—Future

He looks up from his phone to stare up at a building. He looks back down at his phone to make sure that he’s at the right address. As he confirms the address, he shoves his phone back into his pocket.

“Y/N?”

He spots a familiar figure exiting the building of the company that you work at. The figure is walking away and down the sidewalk. He finds himself following the familiar person, trying to catch up to them. Once he finally does, he taps on their shoulder. They turn around and it’s not you.

“Oh, sorry, I thought you were someone else.” He apologizes.

“Oh!” The woman exclaims. “You’re Jeong Jaehyun, right?”

He furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “You know who I am?”

She nods her head. “You’re Y/N’s best friend, right?”

That’s odd. How does she know who he is— “Yes. Do you know her?”

She smiles. “I’m sure you’ve known of me. We were roommates in college. Do you happen to remember that infamous cookie recipe—”

“Holy shit.” That’s all he utters out. “Those cookies are fucking delicious but—how—you guys work together?”

“I see her on the daily and we’re kind of tired of seeing each other. Honestly, we both thought we’d never see each other again after university. But here we are,” she chuckles, extending her hand out. “I’m Sunghwa, by the way.”

He shakes her hand. “Nice meeting you.”

She tilts her head. “Are you looking for her?”

He slowly nods his head. “Well, actually, we left on really bad terms—”

“I know. I kind of hate you for that.” She cuts him off while shrugging her shoulders. “But what can we do, right? Unless you have the power to change the past, there’s not much we can do. But I do believe in fixing things for the future.”

“I’m sorry—”

“Save that for Y/N.” She smiles. “Y/N took two days off from work. She’s probably in her apartment getting some rest. The company had just finished its merge with another company and ever since then, she hasn’t gotten any rest.”

“Do you know where she lives?” He asks.

“I do. I’ll give you her address,” she replies. “But promise me one thing.”

“I’ll do anything—”

“Don’t tell her that I gave you her address. She’ll kill me.”

“You’re already wilting? I just got you yesterday!”

You stare at the vase of roses sitting on your dining table. There are a couple of petals that have fallen off and a few of them have wilted. You frown, taking a few of them, along with the petals, to dry them and add them to your letters.

Sitting on one end of your dining table is your last letter to your past self. You glance at it. Your phone buzzes in your pocket, diverting your thoughts from the letter. “Hello?”

“How are you, honey?” You hear your mother’s soothing voice on the other line. “Have you run out of groceries? Is your fridge full? I hope it is. If anything, your father and I can drop by the grocery store before visiting you on Friday—”

“You don’t need to, mother.” You chuckle. “I just came home from the grocery store. Hey, do you know how to stop flowers from wilting so fast?”

You can hear her frown. “Have the roses wilted already?”

“Yeah, and I just got them yesterday.” You sigh. “It’s okay. I’ll just make another stop by the flower shop to get a new bouquet.”

“Have you been eating your meals?”

You smile. “Yes, mother. In fact, I’m going to be meeting someone tonight.”

“Is it a boy?”

You snort. “No.”

“Do I know them?”

“I’m meeting Yeona tonight.” You say softly. “We’re going to have dinner at a restaurant that opened up down the road. I’m not sure how it’ll go but—”

“Are you sure you want to go? You don’t have to meet her if you don’t want to.” She cuts you off.

You purse your lips into a tight line. “I asked her if we could meet. I’m surprised she said yes, to be honest.”

“You know, when your father and I heard the news about their divorce, we weren’t sure how to react.” Your mother begins. “But Jaehyun’s parents didn’t seem to mind. In fact, when we paid them a visit, they seemed more… relieved?”

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “Relieved?”

“It was like a weight was lifted off their shoulders.” Your mother explains. “Ever since they got married, there was never a peaceful day between the two.”

You frown. “Ah, I see.”

She notices your sudden quietness. “Are you perhaps… still in love with Jaehyun?”

You let out a lighthearted chuckle. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.”

“You know, you should try to get in touch with Jaehyun, sweetheart. You’re his only best friend. I’m sure whatever tension you have between the two of you would go away the moment you see each other.”

You sigh. “It’s easy to say but hard to do, mother.”

“I know, I understand.” She says softly. “Have you sent out your letters?”

You laugh, looking at your last letter sitting on your dining table.

“I’m actually sending out my last one on my way out.”

—Present

He runs his fingers through your hair as you’re sleeping peacefully next to him. You had a rough day at work and the moment you came home, you knocked out on the bed. Jaehyun took this opportunity to finish reading the letter he received from his future self.

I’m sure you’re wondering what happened between Y/N and I. Now, sit tight because this will be a long one.

On July 31st, I asked Y/N to go to the beach. I asked her because I knew that Yeona would be going to the beach that day. I figured it was a great opportunity to try and make Yeona jealous, and maybe get to know her more. And we did.

But something felt off.

I remember Y/N asking me if we could go to the town fair instead. The town fair was only open for a week. But I was persistent on going to the beach instead. I wish we went to the town fair instead.

Ever since I lost contact with Y/N and ever since she moved out of town, she stopped going up to the cottage for the summer. Those summers have been lonely. Whenever I go up to the cottage for the summer, the town fair would immediately remind me of her and how much I regret not taking her to the fair instead.

Jaehyun’s phone buzzes in his pocket. He looks at his phone to check the new text notification, only to take notice of his phone’s lock screen. It’s a picture he took of you when the both of you rode the Ferris Wheel.

“Y/N—”

“Yeah?” He takes a quick candid photo of you.

“Did you just take a picture of me?”

“Yes, I did. I think it’ll be a good picture to use for your Tinder or something. I’ll send it to you.”

“Why, you little—”

“Sent it!”

He looks up from his phone to see you looking down at yours. You’re busy muttering underneath your breath over how he took the worst angle of your face. A smile threatens to form across his lips. He sets it as his lock screen.

On August 14th, Yeona and her parents came over for dinner. I was so in love with Yeona that I decided to tell her the truth. I told her that Y/N and I weren’t dating and it was all just an act. At the time, I was so happy to see the look of relief of Yeona’s face. That night, she confessed to me. She told me that she was in love with me and that she’s glad that Y/N and I weren’t dating.

But believe me when I say this, her confession didn’t feel special. I remember feeling shocked. I remember wondering, is this how I’m supposed to feel when someone reciprocates your feelings? I remember asking myself, shouldn’t I feel happy right now?

But my thoughts were interrupted when Yeona pulled me in for a kiss. I was surprised. I was caught off guard. Y/N suddenly walked out on the porch and saw us kissing.

That night, I officially asked Yeona out. But on that same night, I remember walking past Y/N’s room to hear her crying.

I felt horrible. I felt bad.

On Christmas Eve, Y/N’s arrival time was delayed by an hour. I remember being so excited to see her after months of talking to each other through a laptop screen. I remember being so excited that the moment her father announced that Y/N would be arriving late, I insisted on picking her up instead.

I’m glad I did.

Around that time, Yeona and I were going through a tough time in our relationship. It seemed like she was falling out of love with me. She was posting more photos of her and her guy friend on her account. Our video calls were becoming less frequent. Our good morning and good night texts were becoming less frequent. I really thought that this was it, this was the end of it all.

I was slowly catching feelings for Y/N. I think her absence really got to me. When Yeona and I passed on our usual video calls, I’d call Y/N instead and we’d talk for hours on end. She would even have a midterm the following day but still made the effort to talk to me. I was finding myself texting my usual good morning and good night texts to Y/N instead of Yeona. But now that I think about it, I think I’ve always been in love with Y/N.

I was just too stupid to realize it.

I asked and begged for a sign. I was too blinded by love and I wanted a sign to tell me that being with Yeona was right. That fighting for our relationship was the right thing to do. That trying to mend our already broken relationship was the right thing to do.

When I picked Y/N up at the train station, it was the first snowfall of the season. We made a couple of jokes about the first snowfall that somehow led to me asking her if she was in love with me. She said she wasn’t in love with me. She continued to joke around.

I wondered, is this the sign I was looking for? I remember thinking, if this was the sign, then it’s pretty disappointing.

Because a part of me was hoping Y/N would say that she was in love with me.

—Future

“You came?”

Yeona came earlier than you. She’s sitting at the booth, greeting you as you take the seat right across from her. This feels awkward, you think to yourself as you take off your coat. Right on time, a waitress comes by your table to give you two glasses of wine.

“I hope I’m not late.” You say with a lighthearted chuckle.

She smiles. “I’m just a bit too early.”

“How are you?” You ask.

She takes a sip of her wine. “I’ve been doing better. How have you been?”

You smile. “Likewise.”

As the both of you are picking dishes to eat from the menu, you can feel her look at you every now and then. You’re not sure why she’s staring at you, but you pay no attention to it. As the waitress collects the menus and your orders, she leaves the two of you to talk.

“When you called me to ask if we could meet, I was quite surprised.” She chuckles. “I figured that I’d be the last person you’d want to see.”

You bite your lip. “To be honest with you, I’m surprised you came. I was sort of expecting you to bail out on me.”

The both of you share a chuckle. She looks out the window. It’s snowing. “Have you seen Jaehyun?”

You shake your head. “I haven’t gotten in touch with him for years. Ever since your wedding, actually.”

She tears her gaze away from the window, specifically from the snowflakes that fall from the sky. She looks at you, surprised. “Why not?”

You shrug your shoulders. “I guess I was just too busy with work. I mean, I still am, but—”

“You should, Y/N.” She places her hand on top of yours.

You stare at her hand that’s on top of yours. There’s no longer a wedding ring on her fourth finger. It kind of throws you off. “I don’t think he’ll want to see me. I bet you didn’t even want to see me either—”

“When Jaehyun and I got divorced, I felt like I was finally setting him free.” She confesses. “I felt like something or someone was holding him back. I knew it was always you, Y/N.”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Yeona. Jaehyun’s not in love with me—”

“First snowfall means first love. It means that the person you’re with on the first snowfall of the season will be the love of your life.” She cuts you off. You look at her with slightly widened eyes. “That’s what Jaehyun told me. He also told me that the first snowfall always reminds him of you.”

“Yeona, I’m not sure what to say.” You say with a breathy laugh.

“You didn’t attend our wedding.” She mumbles. “Jaehyun was looking for you the entire night. Even when reception was over, he was still looking for you. Let me remind you that I was the one he got married to. It felt weird, it felt heartbreaking, because although his bride was standing right beside him, he was still looking and waiting for someone else.”

“I didn’t attend your wedding because—”

“Because you’re in love with him.” She finishes it for you. “Y/N, I’m not stupid. I can see it with my own two eyes. You’re in love with him and he’s in love with you.”

“Shouldn’t you be mad at me?” You ask.

She shakes her head. “I wish I could be mad at you, but I’m not. Our divorce was mutual. We filed a divorce because I knew Jaehyun was in love with you, and he still is. But we also filed a divorce because I was slowly falling out of love with him and falling in love with someone else.”

“But I feel like this was all because of me—”

She smiles. “Don’t feel bad. If there’s someone who should feel bad, it should be me. I’ve been selfishly holding Jaehyun back for so long, for three years, from someone he should be with.”

You wipe away tears that have managed to stream down your cheeks. “I—”

“Can I ask you one favour?”

The waitress arrives with your dishes and places them onto the table. As the waitress leaves the two of you again, she reaches out to hold your hands.

You nod. “Sure.”

“Please get in touch with Jaehyun. I’m sure he’s looking for you.”

—Present

Jaehyun calls it a night, placing the letter back into its envelope before putting it back in a drawer. He turns off the night light and settles in bed, wrapping his arm around your waist. You snuggle closer to his chest, continuing to let out soft snores. Jaehyun smiles, using his other free hand to tuck a few stray strands of hair away from your face.

“Good night, Y/N.”

On August 8th, Y/N and I had a conversation at the bonfire. I wanted to test the waters again for the second time. I was so confused. My mind was in love with Yeona but my heart belonged to Y/N. I asked her if I should propose to Yeona.

She looked at me and asked me if I love her. I said that I love her. But she asked me if I love her with all my heart. It took me a while to answer, but eventually, I said that I love her with all of my heart.

Y/N simply smiled at me with a smile that didn’t look real.

She said, if I love Yeona with all of my heart, then what was I waiting for?

I remember my heart answering her question with,

I’m waiting for you to stop me.

—Future

“Thanks for the ride, Yeona.”

She smiles. “No worries. Text me when you get home safely!”

And off Yeona goes. You watch her car get smaller and smaller as it grows farther. You let out a happy sigh, stepping inside of your apartment complex. You make a quick stop at the mailbox, placing your last letter to your past self into the slit. As you hop onto the elevator, you find yourself thinking back to your conversation with Yeona.

Just as you step out of your elevator, you stop in your tracks.

“Please get in touch with Jaehyun. I’m sure he’s looking for you.”

Sitting right in front of the door to your apartment is Jaehyun. He’s looking down at his phone. The closer you get to him, the more you realize that he’s playing a game on his phone. A smile threatens to spread across your lips.

“Excuse me, sir, but I think you’ve got the wrong apartment.”

Jaehyun recognizes the voice and his head shoots up. At first, he doesn’t recognize your face. You had definitely matured. You look like a grown woman. Your hair is long. He looks up at you in awe until he realizes how stupid he looks. He’s immediately getting up onto his two feet, but you stop him when you take a seat next to him on the carpet floor.

“Y/N,” he breathes out. “Hi.”

You smile. “Hi.”

“I—Long time no see.” He stutters, scratching the back of his neck.

“How did you get my address?”

“Well, I got it from—”

“You got it from Sunghwa, didn’t you?” You cut him off with squinted eyes. He gulps nervously, nodding his head. You sigh. “God, I’m going to kill her for this.”

The both of you look at each other before bursting out into laughter.

He bites his lip. “How—How have you been?”

You fold your arms. “I think I should be asking you that, Mr. Just Got Divorced.”

He chuckles. “I’ve been doing better. Actually, I think I’ll do even better now that I’ve seen you.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Really.” He sighs. He feels hesitant to ask you a question he’s been dying to ask you. He decides to take a leap of faith. “Have you been seeing someone lately?”

You shake your head. “No. Why? Should I be seeing someone—”

“No.” He cuts you off. You glance at him with a look of suspicion. He feels nervous again. “Well—that’s not what I meant! What I meant was—”

“What are you doing here?” You ask him with a soft voice. You’re looking at him seriously. “Why did you want to see me, Jaehyun?”

“Because there are many things I want to tell you.” He mumbles.

“And what are those things you want to tell me?”

He swears he feels his heart is on fire. He avoids your gaze. “I’m in love with you.”

It feels nice to hear him say it. It’s like time has slowed down and it’s just the two of you in the universe. When you don’t reply, he courageously looks at you to get some sort of answer from your eyes.

You smile. “I know.”

“You know?”

You hum in reply. “I know that you’re in love with me.”

“But are you in love with me?” He whispers. “I mean, it’s fine if you’re not. I just figured that it would be best for me to let you know that I’m in love with you. All I want is closure and a piece of mind knowing that you know that I’m in love with you.”

“You’re rambling agan, Jaehyun.” You chuckle. You look away from him. “What if I’m in love with you?”

“Are you?”

You let out a sigh. “God, I’m so in love with you, Jaehyun. I’m still in love with you.”

“Huh?”

“I’m in love with you.” You repeat yourself.

“You’re in love with me?”

“I’m in love with you, stupid.”

He doesn’t say anything that it makes you start to worry. You look at him, only to find him looking at you. You really want to kiss him. But you’ll probably have to save that for later.

“So,” he mumbles. “You’re in love with me?”

“I told you like three times already in the span of two minutes, Jaehyun.”

“But I want to hear it again—”

“I’m in love with you, Jaehyun.” You repeat it one last time for him. “But do we really have to be sitting on the floor like this in front of my apartment? When we could literally be chilling inside?”

“I’m in love with you too.” He whispers. “And no, we can definitely go inside. If you’re okay with me being in your apartment, of course.”

“Or, you can move in with me. Do you want to move in with me?”

“Not until you give me a kiss first—”

“How about you ask me to marry you instead?”

“Would you say yes, though?”

You laugh.

“Yes.”

“Babe, I’m going to make a quick stop downstairs! I just need to mail something.”

Jaehyun sees you give him two thumbs up. He’s hopping into the elevator to lead him down to the lower floor. He steps out of the apartment and reaches the mailbox. He seals the envelope before placing his letter to his past self through the slit.

He dusts his hands off. “I hope you get there safely.”

—Present

“Babe, have you seen an envelope?”

You step out of the washroom to find Jaehyun rummaging through the drawers. “An envelope? No, why?”

“I swear I placed it in this drawer last night, but now it’s gone.” He frowns, checking all the drawers one last time before sighing with defeat.

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. It’s probably his letters, you think to yourself. “I think I might know where it went.”

“Really?” He asks.

You nod. “Yeah, I’ll look for it. You should go take a shower before you run late for work.”

As he steps out of the bedroom to take a shower, you open your closet to pull out a box where you’ve put all of your letters in. You can hear the shower turn on as you close the closet door shut. You take a seat on the bed, opening the box—

“What the fuck?” You blurt out.

You’re pulling out the letters, one by one, but as you take them out, they all start to disappear into thin air. One by one, they start crumbling up into thin dust, disappearing in your fingertips.

And what was once a box filled with letters from your future self is now, empty.

And just like the letters that have disappeared as if they’ve never happened, the future has been successfully rewritten.

author’s note. thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed this short sequel to seven letters lmao. kjsdhfjkshdf

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holdharmonysacred · 2 years ago

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I’ll need some time to Think about the Olympus chapter and remember the other thing I was thinking about posting god damn it, but like. I honestly kinda don’t get the appeal of Kirsch? Like yeah, haha he’s actually a huge dork, but like. I get vibes that him and his writing is like a much more tolerable, less dangerous, and less absolutely infuriating version of The Egg Guard, where the writers buy into Kirsch’s goals a little more than they should and thus don’t do enough to really challenge him or show why he’s wrong, and that just does a disservice to him as a character honestly. I don’t think it’s malicious, I think it’s just a case of ol’ classic Nasu “is too high on ideals and idealism and love of ideals to actually really grapple with the flaws of said ideals”, but it really is goddamn weird to have the story hype up how much Kirsch had a change of heart for the better as a kid and wants to make the world a happy place, when at the end of the day he’s still a-okay with killing billions of people between PHH and the losing Lostbelts to do so.

I’ll have to revisit this thought tomorrow once I’ve slept on it, but like. The writing around Kirsch really does feel like it knows he’s wrong, but doesn’t understand why he’s wrong? Even his fatal flaw of “cannot comprehend that some people are just massive assholes” applies more to “dude was dumb enough to trust Beryl” rather than “here’s why his particular plan is a bad idea”, which kinda stinks to read. I don’t think he’s irredeemable, I think that had he gotten a chance to Not Die and had someone smack it into his head “Why the hell are you okay with killing off billions of people, what the hell is wrong with you you hypocritical dumbass” he could get a redemption arc like what Kadoc is getting, my problem is that you can’t get a really good redemption arc if the writers aren’t willing to really confront what the Character Getting Redeemed did wrong, which is why Kirsch getting the chummy treatment at the end feels a little Whack to me. It could be better, is what I’m saying.

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mellowswriting · 4 years ago

Text

Meaning Found

pairing || Poe Dameron x Reader

summary || Sometimes it takes a crash and the fear that your best friend is dead to finally admit that you love his stupid ass.

word count || 3,466

warnings || language, allusions to sex, minor injuries, lots of teenage makeout sessions lmao

a/n || I rewatched the sequel trilogy and was reminded of my intense love of Poe Dameron, so this kind of just... happened. My first Poe fic, too, so I tried to nail his sarcastic, teasing personality but I don’t know how well I did. Let me know what you think!

Main Masterlist | Join the taglist!

“Poe?” You called out, your hands cupped around your mouth in a vain attempt to amplify your voice through the trees. “Poe, where are you?!”

It had been hours since you crashed on this godforsaken planet, the smell of smoke and overheated metal rousing you from your unconscious state. The first thing you noticed after the awful smell was pain. Your calf was killing you, the pain radiating up through your entire leg from a long gash that thankfully wasn’t bleeding too badly. It just hurt like a bitch.

Panic lanced through you when you realized your hot-headed pilot was nowhere to be seen. There wasn’t a single trace of him. No blood, no tattered clothes, no nothing. He was just gone. Fear thickened in your throat like glue, your lungs seizing under the weight of it. Still, you busied yourself with fixing what was left of the radio. Poe would be pissy if he came back and you hadn’t at the very least gotten a distress signal to the Resistance.

When he came back.

Poe would be back.

But then the radio was repaired and you managed to salvage some supplies from the wreckage of your precious ship - and Poe still wasn’t back. Enough was enough, you decided. Forget your fucked up leg, your pilot was out there somewhere, possibly in worse shape than you and in desperate need of help. So you found a branch that had been ripped from its tree when your ship met its untimely demise and tucked it under your arm in a makeshift crutch and got to hiking.

It was way more painful than you had expected. Each step had a sharp stab of fire-like pain bringing a wince to your face, but it seemed like the longer you walked, the more your body grew acquainted with the wound. It still hurt like hell, but the worry for Poe was far greater. The further you went, the more you really began regretting the choice to come on this mission. Your presence wasn't even entirely necessary - it was a damn supply drop for Maker’s sake. But when Leia herself asked you to have Poe’s back (and keep his pretty little ass out of trouble), you couldn’t very well say no.

Boy, was she going to get an earful if you got back.

When. When you got back.

“Poe, you shithead!” You screamed, your voice echoing off of the trees even through the rain. “I’m gonna leave your ass here, I swear! Where are you?!”

You barely heard it, the sound of his voice calling out your name. Hope lit in your chest, burning hotter than the pain that was now entirely forgotten as you took off through the trees, expertly dodging branches and raised roots as you went. His name fell from your lips over and over, hope falling away into relief when you realized his voice was growing closer.

The sight of Poe Dameron always took your breath away - not that you would ever admit that. It didn't matter when, it didn't matter the circumstance. He was too pretty for his own good, all sharp angles and dashing smiles. Even when you were at your grumpiest, usually as you sipped your coffee during morning briefings that always felt earlier than the last, his presence eased the heaviness that plagued your shoulders.

This time, it was infinitely more intense. Maybe it was the desperate way he crashed through the treeline. Maybe it was the huge grin that broke out across his face when he locked eyes with you. Maybe it was the way his arms immediately opened to embrace you and lift you from the ground, disbelieving laughter rumbling through his chest. Whatever it was, it had tears building in your eyes. For a moment, everything else was forgotten. The two of you weren’t stranded without a functional ship, you weren’t filled with fear and adrenaline, there wasn’t a painful gash in your leg. You were just in the arms of the one person who could make this whole shitshow a little bit better.

Out of nowhere, your relief gave way to fear. Sharp, debilitating, all-encompassing fear. You could have lost him. Poe could have died, or you could have died, and you wouldn’t have told him - fuck, he never would have known. Holy shit.

“Did you really have to call me a shithead, though?” Poe laughed as he put you down, his eyes sparkling with amusement. The gasp you let out when your feet touched the ground had that amusement disappearing, though. “Shit, what happened? How bad is it?”

“No, no, I’m fine. I’ll be fine.” You managed through the heaviness that clamped around your throat. Poe didn’t believe a single word that came out of your mouth, obvious by the way he sighed and shook his head. He ignored your protests and the way you slapped at his shoulders when he quite literally scooped you up. “Fuck, Poe, I said I’m fine -”

“You’re bleeding, you aren’t fine.” He gruffed out, readjusting his grip at your knees carefully. “Which way is the ship?”

The standoff only lasted a few moments, the both of you glaring at each other and waiting - Poe waiting for you to at least nod in a direction and you waiting for Poe’s dramatic ass to put you down. Of course, Poe won. When didn’t he? All it took was the jerk of your chin and Poe set off, grunting every now and then with the effort.

“You aren’t hurt, are you?” You whispered a few moments later. That fear was still rolling in your stomach. No matter how hard you tried to swallow it down, it still threatened to choke you up.

“C’mon, sweetheart, you know me. I’m tough as nails.” Poe laughed. He cleared his throat quietly when he saw the tears still gathered in your eyes. “Seriously, I’m okay. Don’t worry about me.”

The endearing term made your heart flutter. Pet names fell from Poe’s lips like second nature, you were used to it. Blame the leftover adrenaline, but this time it hit differently, right in your chest. Without thinking, you reached up and brushed his sweat-dampened curls back from his forehead gently, careful not to accidentally tug with all the jostling as he carried you. Your lower lip trembled. “We could’ve died.”

“I know.” Poe’s eyes hardened. “I know, I’m so sorry.”

“Poe, it wasn’t your fault.” You chastised gently, your fingers automatically carding through his hair and gently untangling it. He leaned into your touch slightly and a small smile graced your lips. “You couldn’t have known this would happen.”

“You told me to take the northern route, I should’ve listened -”

“Come on.” You sighed. Always so hard on himself, this one. “I literally argue with you about everything. That’s what we do, you dork. There’s no actual difference between the north route and the west route and we both know that.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Poe smiled softly down at you and your breath caught in your throat again. Damn it. The man really was gorgeous, even with the guilt that still lingered on his face.

“I wasn’t bitching at you or trying to say you got us into this, okay? I… I just realized that you… fuck, Poe.” Words failed you. Or rather, you failed your words. They were there. They had been there from the very beginning, but the overwhelming fear of losing his friendship choked the words from you time and time again.

You didn’t even realize you were back at the wreckage of your ship, too in your head to pay attention to the world around you. Poe set you down gently in the grass, apologizing quietly when you hissed in pain. Now that you weren’t adrenaline soaked and desperate to find him, your body was all too happy to let the pain flare back up.

“Let me get the bacta from the med kit,” Poe murmured, leaving your side for just a moment. He seemed just as anxious as you were, the idea of being apart making both your stomachs turn. Even just a few moments, even just a few feet of distance, it was too much. Poe kneeled at your side and easily tore the remainder of your pants from your calf, the comfortable material now only reaching just above your knee.

Cleaning the gash was no walk in the park, but the moment the bacta touched your inflamed, angry skin, you sighed. That shit was magic, no doubt about it. Nonetheless, Poe was still careful as he wrapped your calf, his every touch slow and gentle and the memory of the last time the two of you were like this bubbled to the forefront on your mind. The roles were reversed, of course, because it was almost always Poe making daringly stupid choices and ending up wounded, but you had been so scared of making the blaster wound to his shoulder worse that your hands shook.

There had been a gentle trust in his eyes when Poe reassured you that he was okay, that you would do just great. His normally confident voice became meek as he whispered that you were the only one he trusted to fix him up, so you better get to it. That was Poe. Always trying to cover up vulnerable moments with humor. But that sparkle of humor was nowhere to be found as he settled himself next to you. Hell, he could barely keep eye contact with you.

“What...what did you realize?” Poe whispered. Something in the way he was looking at you told you that he knew already, fear and hope and anticipation all plain on his face. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, something you had come to recognize as a nervous habit.

You drew in a deep breath, steadying yourself against the racing of your heart and the excitement that buzzed through your veins. It lit you up from the inside out, the very idea of finally, fucking finally, saying the words you had been itching to say for far too long. “I realized that we could’ve died before I told you how much I love you.”

Poe let out a shaky breath, those full lips parting and closing around words that couldn't seem to find their way into existence. A fleeting moment of panic wound its way through your chest at the idea that you had misread this whole thing, constricting your lungs in a vice-hold that threatened to choke the life out of you, but it was washed away by the sudden press of his lips against yours. On the many occasions you imagined what it would be like to kiss Poe Dameron, you envisioned it to be all teeth and gasping passion, but the reality was so much better than anything else your brain could have dreamed up.

Poe kissed you like you were the most precious thing he had ever had the privilege of holding in his hands. Your eyes fluttered closed the moment his lips brushed yours, a soft and reverent touch that pulled a wrecked sound from him. He leaned back, breaking the gentle embrace of your lips to study your face. There was a small crease between his eyebrows where he had them furrowed and you couldn't help but reach up to rub at the space with your thumb.

The smile that broke across his face was brighter than any sun in the galaxy and he pulled you to him. The second kiss was more confident, something you never thought Poe Dameron could be more of. The warmth of his tongue sliding along your bottom lip made a rough shudder slither down your spine and his hand at your cheek buried itself in your hair to tilt your head. The new angle let him press even closer to you and the quiet moan it drew from him had you practically giddy, excitement singing through your entire body. Somehow your hands found the collar of his shirt, your body moving instinctually as if it was commonplace, as if your body knew exactly how to move with his.

“I love you.” Poe whispered against your lips, pulling away just far enough to rest his forehead against yours. He kissed you again, a short one just shy of a peck. “I guess we’re both idiots, huh? Could’ve had you for so long if I had just said something.”

“You can have me now if you stop talking.” You teased and Poe grinned. It was a grin you had seen countless times, but this time it felt almost new. Like you were able to appreciate that pretty smile of his in a new light. “Kiss me again, flyboy.”

An almost wild groan rumbled through Poe’s chest and he did just that. Poe kissed and kissed and kissed you until you were both left with swollen lips and goofy grins. Neither of you could get enough, like you had been drowning and were finally up for air. There was nothing else that mattered. Not the slow establishment of peace and control that Leia had managed to bestow upon the galaxy. Not the sudden shifting of goals after the success of the Resistance. Not the sudden floundering for meaning.

Everything you were searching for, the meaning of it all post-war…

It was found in each other.

“Wait, did you radio anyone?” Poe asked suddenly, those pretty brown eyes blinking up at you inquisitively.

“What?” You were a bit dazed from the feeling of his tongue expertly taking you apart. It took your mind a second to remember how to process words. “Uh, yeah, Leia sent Rey out to get us.”

“How long ago?”

“...Seriously? That’s what you’re thinking about right now.” You motioned between your chests, an eyebrow raised. Poe just stared at you expectantly and you sighed. He would wait there until the Falcon landed right next to you with his stubbornness. “Like three hours ago. Why?”

That devilish smirk reappeared like it never left. “Just wanted to know how much longer I get to have you like this.”

Heat creeped up your neck at the implication. “Maker, you are so annoying.”

Poe bit at his bottom lip and for a mere second you were distracted, wanting nothing more to be the one nibbling at him. But then he had to open his mouth again. “Yeah, and you love me. Says more about you than it does about me.”

“Shut up and kiss me.” You demanded.

“Yes, ma’am.” The words were whispered against your lips as he leaned in, once again dragging you into a makeout session that could rival any other. Like teenagers, the two of you, all wandering hands and teasing nibbles.

It wasn’t long until the telltale sound of the Millennium Falcon approaching pulled you apart - a good thing, too, because both of you were writhing for more than could happen in a field in the middle of nowhere. Besides, it was growing darker and being stuck any longer without shelter when the creatures of the night would begin creeping out to prowl wasn’t the best of ideas. You weren’t surprised that the little orange and white droid was the first down the ramp when the ship had settled on its landing gear.

“Hey, buddy!” The excitement in Poe’s was unmistakable as he crouched down to greet BB-8, the impact of his droid crashing into him knocking him right onto his ass. A series of inquisitive beeps made Poe sigh almost exasperatedly. “No, she’s fine, I took care of her leg.”

BB-8 rolled over and bumped at your legs affectionately, completely ignoring Poe’s indignant, “I’m fine, too, by the way!”

Rey appeared a moment later when you were kneeling to pat the droid and look him over, ensuring he hadn’t been harmed since the last you saw him. It felt a bit strange to care so much for the little guy but he was practically a little kid to you. You had started calling him Poe’s son as a joke long ago when you first met, but you had come to realize just how right you were.

“What the hell happened to you two? Did you forget how to pilot, Poe?” Rey called out as she walked up and immediately a loud bout of bickering began. To an outsider, it would look like these two hated each other but you knew better. Your little friend group would do anything for each other, especially after all you had been through together. All that was missing was -

“Finn!” Poe smiled and embraced his friend in a tight hug before slapping him on the shoulder. “I didn’t know you were coming, too.”

“You think I would miss seeing you two stranded together? Nah,” Finn asked as he pulled you in for a hug as well, a laugh rumbling through his chest. “I figured the two of you would’ve ripped each other's heads off by now.”

“Ha, ha.” You intoned sarcastically. “It’s nice to know that you two have careers in comedy now that the war is over.”

The playful jabs continued as the five of you settled into the Falcon, Poe keeping a hand on you at practically all times. On your lower back, on your hip, settled on your thigh. It seemed like now that he had the ability to touch you like he always wanted to, he couldn’t stop himself. It wasn’t long until his little game became obvious - seeing how long it would take for either of your human companions to realize something was different.

It didn’t take long for it to escalate. A hand on your thigh quickly became tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, which became affectionately rubbing the tension from your neck. Within fifteen minutes of flying through hyperspace, you had to leave the cockpit with some bullshit excuse just to keep yourself from curling up in his lap right then and there. You busied yourself in repairing the wiring you had been working on the last time you were on the Falcon, a simple job that was practically finished already save for untangling and reconnecting the wires and replacing the panel that covered it. Of course it took no time at all for Poe to wander off and find you, his arms wrapping around your waist.

“Hey,” Poe murmured before kissing your neck gently, swiping your hair out of the way to give him even more access. The scrape of his stubble against your sensitive skin made you shiver against him and you could tell Poe felt it by the way he smiled against your neck. “Love how responsive you are...you’re never getting rid of me now, sweetheart.”

The lighthearted remark on the tip of your tongue melted away at the feeling of his tongue tracing that sweet spot just under your ear. You couldn’t help but lean back into his chest, one of his hands leaving your hips to brace against the wall. A low hum fell from your lips when Poe bit at your shoulder teasingly and you couldn’t stop yourself from reaching back to run your fingers through his hair and hold him against you, your attempted repair completely forgotten in front of you.

Every touch had pleasure curling around your body, lighting up your every nerve with need and excitement. The man was a god, but if you told him that, it would pump up his ego to an insufferable level. Maybe you could handle it, the ridiculous amount of pride, if he would just touch you…

“Please,” You whispered, your eyes closing as your head fell back onto his shoulder, and you didn’t miss the hungry way he hummed against you. The arm that was wrapped around your waist shifted and his hand slid under your shirt, the shock of his warm skin against your stomach forced a gasp from you. His fingers dipped below your pants, just barely teasing at the hem of your underwear, and -

“I knew it!” Finn’s deep voice echoed harshly through the metal walls of the Falcon and you both jumped, damn near cracking heads in your surprise.

“No you did not!” Poe scoffed, letting you bury your face into his neck to hide your embarrassed face. Poe’s dismissal did nothing to curb Finn’s excited sprint back to the cockpit, screaming something about Rey owing him credits all the while. A short, huffed laugh fell from his lips as he pushed you back against the wall, facing him this time. “We can’t go back up there, they’ll be impossible.”

You set your chin against his chest with an agreeing hum. “We could just go to the bunks… carry on where we left off.”

Poe grinned at you. “Hell yes.”

#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x you #poe dameron x y/n #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron

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ilooklikeaburntchickenugget · 4 years ago

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Hi, I love your writing. I really want to make a request where the readers have eating disorder but works in the modeling industries. She is like dating Gerard, but they were in a super big fight because of her eating disorder, as well as her constant traveling for fashion weeks, and at the end, they make up, and Gerard is helping her getting better, and stuff like that. I really love your writing, can you please write one? THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!

Title: Poisons A/N: I actually got two requests for something like these. The endings for both requests were slightly different, but here’s the first one. I didn’t really edit it, just because I haven’t updated much content in forever, but here you go! Pairing: Gerard Way (probably late Black Parade era) x Model!F!Reader Word count: 3,170 Warnings: Eating disorder, swearing, angst, drama, there’s just a lot.

Okay, so this was not what Gerard expected to come home to.

The man expected to go back to his New York apartment, shared with his gorgeous girlfriend, and for everything to be perfect. Well maybe not perfect, but perfect in Gerard’s mind.

He wanted nothing more than to just eat some chips, not having eaten in 16 hours due to his flight and partial distaste to airplane food, and curl up with his girlfriend, hugging every inch of her curves.

Instead he came home to a house that was nearly empty of any food, only a few protein shakes resided in the large fridge. This was already a huge warning sign Gerard looked out for. His mind attempted to justify itself, thinking that maybe he was jumping to the worst of the worst conclusions. No, you were probably just traveling so much that you weren’t at home enough to actually buy food.

He sighed, moving to one of the cabinets he knew the take out menus were hidden in. Opening it up, he picked up one of the cheap paper menus covered in dust, shaking it with his hand to get it off. Great, these hadn’t been touched in months.

After debating mentally between Chinese and Italian, he moved to your bedroom, in hopes to finally see the love of his life after months of being absent on tour. There you were, peacefully sleeping in bed. Jetlag, he knew.

He carefully removed his shoes, moving to his closet to change his airplane clothes to more comfortable ones. Climbing into the warm bed beside you, he placed his hands on your hips as he always had. His initial smile soon turned into a frown.

Even under the large hoodie you were wearing he could feel the painful outlines of your ribs. Grimacing to himself, he heard a small sigh fall from your lips. “Gee?” You coarsely called out.

“Mhm,” He hummed back, kissing the top of your head despite the pure disappointment towards you that coarse through his veins.

“What’re you doing? Weren’t you supposed to be gone for another week?” You asked again, still half asleep.

“The guys and I decided to cancel the last week where we were just supposed to travel, I missed you too much.” He smiled lightly, moving your hair to the side to kiss your neck.

“Mmm,” You hummed quietly, your consciousness growing back. Within seconds realization hit you, your eyes internally going wide, not wanting to show anything to Gerard, and you pulled away from him slightly.

“Babe,” He sighed, “We’re not doing this again.” “Doing what again?” You tried to pretend to not understand what he was saying.

“You’re a gorgeous, talented model,” He began with a soft smile, “But don’t go into acting, you’re not good at it.” “Gee, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You fired back.

“Take off your hoodie,” He insisted, “Now.” “Gerard, what the fuck?” You scoffed, “Take off my hoodie?” “You heard me,” He stated, “Take it off.” “Why would I take it off?” You scrowled.

“So I can confirm that you haven’t been eating like you’re supposed to.”

“Gerard, please-” You begged, now falling off your pedestal of lies. He sighed heavily, rolling his eyes.

“Why haven’t you?” He asked, looking at you, “What has caused you not to eat again? I thought we were over this.”

“I don’t think that’s your problem.” You snapped. You rarely if ever did so, but this was only further confirmation that you hadn’t eaten in a couple of days. You were cranky.

“Damn right it is my problem.” He sat up next to you, his face had gone completely serious. There were traces of anger in his eyes, his pulsing veins along his muscular arms told you all you needed to know. He wasn’t only infuriated with your habit, he was disappointed.

A word you hated. You absolutely hated. The way it sounded, the meaning, how it made you feel. “Please,” You begged him, your once bright eyes gray from the torture you had put yourself through. “Please what?” He asked, his tone still somewhat harsh.

“Just don’t be mad.” You pleaded. You could see his eyes scan over your face, looking for any signs that you were lying. He found none.

Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes to clear his head he nodded lightly. “Alright,” He said barely letting out a breath, “But you need to tell me everything.”

And you did. Most of it at least. You explained how your insecurities resettled themselves in your mind, starting the moment he left for Tour. You talked about how you were getting more gigs and all due to your tinier size. You explained how skin and bones was basically the new trend.

He sat and listened to you. And he believed it, because he knew it was true. But naturally, he also was a human lie detector. Especially with you.

“Okay,” He began, “And what else?” So maybe that one small part your left out was something that you really didn’t want to admit. Gerard had this strong distaste for most of your model “friends”, ya know, the ones who are naturally tiny and eat salads 24/7, never genuinely enjoying a single meal. The one’s who flashed their designer shit everywhere they went, who posted bikini photos every other day and managed to somehow photoshop themselves into complete Barbie dolls. It made Gerard’s blood boil, he never liked you hanging out with them. Because are them you were not Y/N, you couldn’t be. And that made you even more secure.

“There’s nothing else.” You lied. He looked you in the eyes, waiting another moment.

“I’m gonna give you one more chance to tell me the truth,” He sighed, “What else?” “I said nothing.” Your tone was adamant. He rolled his eyes in disbelief.

“You lied to me,” He began, “You just fucking lied to me. We’ve been over this how many times?” “I didn’t fucking lie to you,” You stuck up for yourself, moving further away from him.

“Another lie, damn Y/N.” He sighed, “We’ve been dating for three years, and you still can’t trust me.” “I do trust you, Gerard.” “Then why are you lying to me?” He asked, his tone going to a much harsher pitch.

“Ya know what?” You said, grabbing your pillow violently, getting up from the bed, Gerard looking at you with no emotion. “Fuck you.” You stated.

“Are you seriously gonna leave?” He asked, rolling his eyes, “Immature.” “No, I’m going to the fucking couch where I don’t have to sleep next to a complete dick.” You fired back, going into your closet and grabbing a spare blanket. “You didn’t mean that.” He scoffed.

“Then why the fuck did I say it?” You marched out of the bedroom, flipping him off to which you heard a sarcastic laugh.

This was far from how you had planned his return. You were gonna stock the fridge and pantry, ya know, not give him a chance to think you weren’t eating, and probably have dinner made. You would eat a small portion, making the excuse you had a big lunch with your friends, and bam! Everything would be okay.

But naturally, shit didn’t work out and after numerous insults thrown at each other you found yourself on the couch silently sobbing. You and Gerard had never gone that far, ever. This fight was beyond messy, it was a complete dumpster fire.

You wanted no more than to apologize to him, but you also wanted an apology from him. You should’ve told him everything, that was on you. But he pushed your buttons and he knew what he was doing. It only took 15 minutes, before you heard his soft footsteps coming from the bedroom, and his warm arms wrapping around you, to which his shoulder became one to cry on. His slow and soft coos calming you down, as he began apologizing over and over again, clearly more mad at himself at this point. “Sugar, I’m so so sorry,” He apologized, “I was just really upset.” “I know,” You sniffled, “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have called you a dick.” You looked up at him. “Well, I was kinda being one.” He lightly smiled, to which you giggled in his chest. “Just promise me, you’ll start eating again.” “Gee-” You were about to make an excuse when you were interrupted.

“Babe, you have to.” He began, “Remember what your manager said last time?” You sighed, remembering. Yep, they would place you right in a psych ward. “So here’s what’s gonna happen. We’re not gonna tell anyone, but I need you to start eating, okay? We’ll go gradually, start small and build up. Together, okay?” You nodded, placing you head on his shoulder.

“I love you,” You smiled, looking up at him. “I love you too.” He smiled right back down.

-Six months later-

"Gee, that’s too much salt!” You scolded as he put a tablespoon of salt not a teaspoon into the cookie dough you were making.

“Oops.” He looked down to which you smiled lightly. You took a chunk of it placing it into your mouth, and he did the same. You couldn’t help but gag at how much salt was in it. “Salty.” He admitted, and you lightly nudged him.

“Yeah, ya dork.” You smiled. “That’s what happens when you add too much salt.” He lightly laughed, wrapping his hands around your waist from behind and placing his head on your shoulder.

“So what’re we gonna do to fix it.” “Nothing,” You said, “We could like, triple the batch, but that would be way too much.”

“Don’t forget we’re seeing the guys tonight,” He smiled, “They’re gonna eat this shit up.” You sighed, nodding.

“Maybe it isn’t such a bad idea after all.” The two of you spent the next half hour adding more of every ingredient, thankful that your apartment was stocked with food to use.

Carefully, you placed as many trays as you could into the oven, closing it and setting the timer. Giving Gerard a quick peck on the lips, he went off to review some emails as you checked your phone. Of course, the group chat was buzzing.

You sighed as you open the text chain reluctantly, scrolling through only to see your name pop up numerous times. “Y/N, where have you been?” “Yeah, fr, we have been out to lunch with you in forever.” “Why are you ignoring us?” “Really? Now you’re being a fake friend.” “Guys, I’m okay.” You simply responded, “Just really busy.”

“Uh huh, you’ve been doing boutique stuff for months.” “Literally nothing even big.” “Not since that Prada show.” “It’s Gerard, isn’t it.”

And just like that, you were about to light these girls up. Gerard was the only one willing, and quite frankly able, to get you out of the huge hole you had dug yourself into. And damn, now these bitches (I hate misogynistic terms against women, but I think it may fit here) were really gonna act like the good guys. “Don’t bring Gerard into this.” You simply responded. “It has to be him.” “He’s not even worth it.” “You could have any guy in the world, and you chose him.” “He’s way out of your league, and you’re still on your knees for him. Smh.” You knew damn well they were trying to get to you. None of these girls had had any true romance, only summer flings with football players, actors, and singers. Granted, Gerard was a singer, but he made good music. He was an artist at his core, singing was just apart of that art. It didn’t take you more than a moment to remove yourself from the group chat, and block all those girls. The real fake friends. The timer went off, which startled you a bit, but placing your phone down with a heavy sigh, you turned it off, to check out the cookies. The top row was done, which you were going to take out. Naturally, the tsunami of inappropriate texts from who you would once call your “girlfriends” was still flooded in your mind, and like a complete idiot, you reached in, touching and grabbing the sheet. With you bare hands.

“Shit!” You yelped, dropping the pan on the open oven and rushing to put your hand under cold water.

“Y/N?” You heard Gerard rush in. You looked up at him, and judging your hand under water, and the cookie sheet which had clearly gone through it, he took a slight sigh, first going to examine your hand. “You alright?” You nodded despite the tears forming in your eyes.

It wasn’t even the burn that hurt. It was the fact that you knew you let those girls get to you so easily, and the just embarrassed yourself in front of Gerard. You knew he didn’t find it embarrassing at all, it was an honest mistake. But still, it embarrassed the shit out of you. “Baby,” He cooed, moving your head up with his fingers under your chin to see the tears that were now slowly cascading down your red cheeks, “It’s okay.” He said lightly. You nodded, placing your head into his chest and sniffling a bit. “What happened.” “I was just distracted,” You admitted, “Forgot the oven mitt.” He nodded, holding you for a moment longer before he knew you were okay, and going to pick up the mess. “Gee, I can clean it up, I made it-” “No, no, please, just worry about your hand, okay, sugar?” You nodded, attending back to it.

The bright red mark across your hand didn’t want to budge, which you were fine with, considering it didn’t hurt as much, just stung a bit. He managed to clean up all the cookies pretty fast, putting them on the stove top to cool, and quickly going back to you. Giving you a kiss on the top of your head, it was his way of messaging he didn’t want to push the topic. But if you wanted to talk he’d be there to listen. It wasn’t but a few hours later that the guys came over. The mistake from earlier was long forgotten, other than the mark on your hand.

The guys were honestly some of your best friends, just like they were Gerard’s. They truly cared about you, just as much if not more than you cared about them. All of them knew about your struggles, and they were honestly your number one cheerleaders.

So the looks on their faces when they saw you healthy again was one that you could not pay for. It was definitely a lot of pride in you for doing it, and it made you feel even better about your decision to get healthy again.

Honestly, you loved the relaxes atmosphere of just hanging out. Sitting next to Gerard with some water, as he drank a Diet Coke, and some of the guys had beers, some opted otherwise. You could theoretically drink as well, but you didn’t want your boyfriend to ever feel alone or strange not drinking alcohol, considering his rough past with it. So you typically opted for a non alcoholic beverage.

It wasn’t until after the guys were gone and you were in the shower that Gerard figured out what was wrong. Your phone kept buzzing, going off constantly. He had never once checked your phone without your permission. There was a huge element of trust in your relationship, and he never felt that there was a reason to. He knew your passcode, you two had openly shared each others in the case one of you needed to use the others phone, but when he picked up yours and saw all those girls name pop up he scoffed.

He knew he probably shouldn’t have done it, but he opened your phone, scrolling through the messages. Some of them you had yet to block, and they were obnoxious. He went into the group chat where the messages were flooding, reading from the beginning of the day until now.

Pissed was an absolute understatement. If it wasn’t for the sound of the shower you were in keeping him aware of his surrounding, he probably would have smashed your phone. Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, he placed it face down on the counter right where it was, resorting back to your bedroom in some hope of calming down before you got out, not making anything too obvious.

Everything was fine, completely normal. The two of you laying in bed together, doing your typical night time routine of reading a bit, maybe watching something, it really depended. You could feel how tense Gerard was, even by your head just leaning on his shoulder. His muscles flexed together, twisted into tight knots. You weren’t sure what had him so stressed, there wasn’t a need for him to be, right? “Babe?” You asked, to which he quietly hummed, “Are you alright?” You had caught on quickly, like you always had. And now he had cursed himself for looking at those messages. Transparency, he remembered, transparency.

“Honestly,” He sighed putting his book down, “I- I- I saw those messages.” He stumbled on his own words. You gave him a confused look, “The ones the girls sent.” You let out a sigh. Oh shit, he thought, thinking the worst of the worst. “Please don’t listen to them,” You insisted, “You know you’re not the reason for any problem in my life?” “Of course not,” He scoffed, “You’re totally fine. It’s just, how they treated you that bothered me.” “Gee-” “Y/N, we’ve talked about this.” He turned to you, “I’m not a controlling person, I try my hardest not to be. But damn, those girls are complete poisons. They’re hurting you, they’re doing far more harm than good. And I hope that doesn’t make me sound like a manipulator or anything, but even you’ve admitted you’re a lot different around them.” You sighed and nodded.

“I know, I just-” You began, “I’ve spent so many years of my life surrounding myself with people like them that it’s hard for me to know what to do without that, ya know?” He nodded.

“You don’t need a bunch of model friends thought to still be a great model.” You nodded.

“I’ll cut everything off with them in the morning, okay?” “Babe, you don’t need to rush it,” He said, “I mean, sure, the sooner the better, but this is your timing okay?” You nodded.

“Do you think everything will be okay?” You asked him next.

“Well, after they very possibly blame you for everything over text and try to put you down a psychological spiral, because that’s what they do, then yes, everything should be okay.” He smiled to which you nudged him. “You’re making this so much easier.” You sarcastically said, “I don’t even know why I ask you.” “Because you love me.”

#gerard way #gerard way fanfiction #gerard way x reader #gerard way x y/n #gerard way x you #gee way #my chemical romance #my chemical gerard #My Chem #my chemical gee #my chemical romance x reader

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shinichirosbabymama · 4 years ago

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Can you do headcannons for Levi x reader where he finds out his s/o is pregnant and how he is finding out, and during the pregnancy and birth? Thank you!

Ugh yes!! I think I'm getting old because thinking about Levi as a dad makes me simp even more than I already do for him 😩💞 like pls be my baby daddy

**********************************************

Finding Out

- There's two very different ways this could go depending on whether the pregnancy is planned or unplanned.

- Planned: As Levi is super organised and would likely be planning the optimum times for you to have sex from the moment you start trying, he would probably be able to predict that you might be pregnant quicker than you can.

- He would badger you with questions constantly. 'Do you feel sick? Does this smell bad to you? Do your boobs hurt?'

- It would get on your nerves a bit but you would keep your mouth shut, not wanting to get his hopes up until you had a positive test. You would be so happy to tell him once the test was confirmed, knowing that you can give him what he wants so badly.

- You'd sit him down and tell him calmly over a cup of tea. He would be stunned to silence for a few seconds.

- 'Are you sure?' 'I'm sure, Levi.'

- You'd be blessed with one of those (rare) smiles. I think he would be quite self-conscious about his own reaction - don't expect tears and jumping for joy - but you know inside he's processing a complicated mix of joy and fear so you give him the space he needs. He's quiet for a few hours but when you fall asleep that night, he keeps an arm firmly wrapped around your lower abdomen, Ackerman instinct already in overdrive for the life inside you.

- Unplanned: Telling Levi you've unexpectedly fallen pregnant would be terrifying. You love him dearly and this will inevitably change your relationship - you have no idea if for better or worse.

- You would agonize over the right way to tell him for ages. Eventually you realise there's not truly any right way and it just comes out when he's probing you about your 'off' behaviour.

- Levi would absolutely be caught off guard by the revelation. He's not stupid but it's genuinely the last thing he would have considered when trying to work out why you've been acting so weird. He's got a great wit but this leaves him absolutely speechless.

- 'Look, I'm pregnant.' Cue silence for like a whole ass minute before you get frustrated.

- 'Can you please just say something?' 'What do you want me to say?' And like damn, that makes you so angry because you rehearsed this conversation in your head so many times and he's not sticking to the script.

- It's way too hard for you to deal with in your vulnerable state and you bail out of there to cool off. I think realistically Levi would need a few days to get his head together and you would probably be panicking that he's ghosted you.

- Eventually he would come to find you. He's told himself not to be too business-like about this because he feels very strongly for you but he still wants to be firm about what he wants.

- You let him speak and he lays it all out on the table. 'I want to raise this child with you.' 'I want us to live together.' 'I want us to be a...family.' that last one is the hardest part to say and it makes his chest hurt to say it - he thinks about how hard it must have been for his own mom doing it all alone and how his family was taken from him.

- You're pretty shocked by it all. You didn't expect him to be callous or anything but you thought he would be less accepting and would want you to 'handle it' somehow.

- At the end of his plan, he asks you if you accept and you just nod at him. Then he suddenly leans in and you wonder wtf he's about to do because it's very out of character for him to initiate a kiss outside of anything sexual but he needs a big gesture to show he's serious about all this. So he kisses you and it's tender and warm and you think things might not be so terrible after all.

During Pregnancy

- Hormones are evil and are one snarky bitch throughout the whole thing and Levi learns new levels of patience (probably a good thing since he's about to have a kid)

- Pregnancy fucks with his Ackerman instinct majorly too and he's even more protective than usual. Most of the time you appreciate it but it gets old when he won't let you out of his sight for anything. You can't even lift a plate without him darting to your side and trying to snatch it from your hands.

- 'Idiot. You're pregnant - let me do that.' He scolds you only for you to respond 'Pregnancy is not a disability moron and don't call me an idiot.'

- Despite being his usual but over protective self around others, he's surprisingly soft when it's just the two of you. He gently massages and kneads your back when it aches and rubs your feet when they swell up.

- He's happy to talk to your bump - he agrees that the baby needs to get used to his voice but he absolutely refuses to use cute baby speak.

- 'Let mom sleep little brat.' He grumbles in the middle of the night as he strokes your stomach.

- Levi is very OTT when it comes to baby proofing your house. You've still got a month left and there is not a corner, plug socket, or sharp object in the house.

- 'They won't even be crawling for six months you are so extra.' You roll your eyes one day watching him testing the bookcase against the wall. 'We need to get into the habit now.' He argues back and you think dork.

- Levi Ackerman says fuck toxic masculinity. Preparing for this baby is 50/50 every step of the way. Well in reality more like 30/70 - you learn that he's insanely bossy when it comes to picking out their clothes, toys, prams.

- 'Disgusting.' He scowls one day at a tiny hat you show him. 'Levi it's a baby it won't know the concept of disgusting.' 'No child of mine will be seen in that.'

- You decide to wait on the baby's sex until it's born. You prefer to have a surprise whereas Levi literally does not care about whether it's a boy or a girl. For now, it's just known affectionately as the brat.

During Birth

- You try to it but goddam you are terrified - of the pain, the gore, the huge amount of change your lives are about to go through.

- Levi is calm and collected as always. He knows the risks. He's researched and sourced the best medical team he can access and is confident it'll go to plan.

- He's surprisingly sympathetic during the birth - the pain that you feel is reflected in the grimace on his face as you squeeze the life out of his hand. He keeps himself occupied, mopping your sweaty brow as you thrash around. It kills him to see you like this but he focuses on the end goal and how much joy it's about to bring you.

- No matter how people try to sell it to you - the pain is bad, possibly the worse ever. You swear bloody murder at everyone, Levi included, the whole time and he just takes it.

- 'I hate you for making me go through this you bastard. We are never doing this again.' 'Yes love.' He responds, stroking your hand as you grit your teeth.

- The only time you see his resolve start to crack is right at the end. He's even paler than usual as he watches the baby being delivered. You're slightly concerned that he might vomit/pass out/start screaming but he keeps it together enough to take the bundle passed to him. Not even complaining that the tiny life in his hands is covered in blood and mucus.

- Levi passes him (a boy!!) to you almost immediately, not trusting him not to drop the poor thing as he feels dizzy. You take him on your chest, letting a few tears fall as you stroke the mop of jet black hair on his head.

- 'He's beautiful.' You cry, looking at his tiny fingernails as the baby whimpers quietly at his new harsh environment. 'He is.' Levi mumbles in response and presses a kiss to your head. You know he's hiding his face on purpose - eyes misty and trembling. You get it, he's at his most vulnerable, and the two of you enjoy a quiet moment together just observing the life you've created.

#levi ackerman imagine #levi imagine #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman headcanon #levi headcanon #dad! levi

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iwaisa · 4 years ago

Text

class 1-a boys kissing their crush for a tiktok

pairings: kirishima, sero, and todoroki x gender neutral reader

warnings: mild swearing, a lil suggestive, tooth-rotting fluff

a/n: this wasn’t a request, but it just happened to pop into my head and i got really excited :D

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

► now shuffling...

he has tiktok but he never posts anything

he likes watching art and cooking videos

it soothes him and it inspires him to be productive

one day he’s laying in his bed scrolling through the endless stream of videos

there’s a little break in the cooking videos and he sees one person standing alone in a room

he’s about to scroll until he reads the text at the top

“kissing my best friend”

he’s about to scroll x2 but he decides to watch where this is going

he just wants to know how to kiss you because he’s been thinking about it since the beginning

the door opens and another person comes in

they’re nearly tackled as the other person throws themself on them and kisses them

the one person mouths something and another text box pops up saying

“i love you”

and he’s like…. damn…. oh to have that be him and you

you definitely don't think kirishima likes you back since he’s so protective of you that you kinda just have to see him as that big brother figure

which he would probably die right on the spot if he heard that

but you only think that because you assume he thinks of himself as a big brother figure

but you two are basically inseparable

always doing homework together

you sit next to each other in class

and you always help him whenever he gets in a really bad mood

it's the last day of class before summer break and the class is going on a trip to the beach

you’re sitting in the way back of the car with him and since the trip takes 2 hours you fall asleep on his shoulder

he’s so not ready for what he’s about to do

the class finally gets there and everyone begins to take off their clothes to go to the ocean

you slip off your clothes to reveal a pastel red swimsuit

good job. you killed him.

look, he’s dead now. you’re so hot that you killed him and he’s foaming at the mouth.

you catch him staring with his jaw hanging open and you laugh waving your hand in front of his face

he decides its now or never

but he’s also sweating bullets because this could go two ways

1. you return the kiss and both have the times of your lives

or 2. you don't like him like that and then the rest of the day is awful and your relationship is ruined forever

he shakes his head and tries not to think too much into it as he goes to prop his phone up

you’re waiting to see which dance he’s doing

he starts the video and jogs back to you and tells you to hop into his arms bridal style

you do, and now he’s spinning you

you hop out of his arms and both of you throw up peace signs

he takes a deep breath before slipping his hand into yours

you turn to face him and he pulls you close so your bodies are pressing together

he mumbles a quick “i really like you,” before pecking your lips

he sprints to post the video and you’re just stunned

he’s holding his phone as he turns around and sees you staring at him

uh oh, time for negative thoughts 😀👍👍

he slowly comes towards you asking if that was okay

you squeal and run towards him planting a giant smooch on his cheek

“s-so you like me back?”

“isn’t it obvious?”

“hah. right. so,,, will you please be my s/o?”

he can't ask anything without adding please because he thinks its manly

you nod while grinning and he pecks your lips again before taking your hand and running to the ocean

it wasn’t until the class got back to the dorms when he noticed his video got thousands of likes with people calling you two cute in the comments

ANOTHER BABIE 🥺🥺

on your first day at U.A., sero was the one to help you get accustomed

he showed you around the school, helped you with homework (if it was something he could understand because if not then you needed bakugou there too)

he helped you find your dorm

he even helped you move furniture into your dorm

he always complimented you and your quirk and you did the same

you noticed that he tended to shy away from talking about his quirk

until you asked him about it

“i just… don't like my elbows”

“what?? i think they’re awesome! honestly they’re kind of cute”

did he? hear you right?? did you just call his elbows cute?

damn. he straight up just fell in love with you.

for someone to compliment the part of him he was most self conscious about is HUGE for him

from that point on he trusts you with his life

he's also basically like a puppy trailing you everywhere

he's in puppy love 🥺🥺

him and kaminari are hanging out in sero’s dorm

sero’s on his hammock using the foot he has sticking out to push him back and forth

kaminari is on sero’s bed leaning against the wall until he jumps up and excitedly talks about this tiktok he just found

sero isn't all that familiar with tiktok, and he's just like ‘if y/n has it then i'll get it!’

kaminari gives sero his phone so he can see exactly what he got so excited by

he watches as two people run around in a field of tall grass while smiling and laughing

at first, he's like, kaminari… are you trying to make me jealous of two people i don't even know?

but then he continues watching as one person tackles the other

and now they’re both laying on the ground, one person on top of another

said person on the top leans down and captures the other in a kiss

sero feels his face getting hot when his mind goes to you

“uh… what are you trying to tell me?”

“what i’m saying is, you need to confess to y/n. like right now.”

sero just nods, but wonders if he could do a video like that

the next day sero asks if he can meet you at a certain address and you accept because just like sero, you would do anything for him

you plug the address into your maps app and realize that it’s a hill with a cherry blossom tree atop

you feel the pink tint in your cheeks and ears continuing to grow as you visualize sero confessing to you on top of that hill

as you make your way up the hill, you can see sero clad in nice dress pants and a half sleeved button up, showing off his elbows

you blush as you notice how formal he is, before looking down at yourself

he notices you and waves you over with his signature grin

you two stare at each other for a while before he pulls his phone out of his pocket

“i want to do something with you”

you nod as you watch him set up his camera

the countdown starts and sero waves to the camera awkwardly

he asks you to stand back, and as you do, sero shoots his tape into the tree and begins to climb up

it takes a few seconds for him to get into an upside down spider-man position, and when he does he asks you to come forward

you take a tiny step towards sero, who’s hair is now falling due to gravity

he looks like such a dork 🥺🥺

hes giving you a giant goofy grin as he says “i’m getting kinda light-headed, so can you please let me kiss you?”

you nod and bend forward as you take his face in your hands

due to your position, it's an awkward first kiss

both your eyes are staring directly at each others’ necks, and you aren’t exactly able to coordinate when to move your lips against each others’

he pulls away a few seconds after the video ends

but before he can say anything, the branch snaps and he comes falling down

you yelped as he landed on his back, rubbing his head

he smiles up at you sheepishly

“sorry for the failed first kiss…”

you shake your head, sitting next to him

“i wouldn't have wanted it any other way”

you grab his face and connect your lips with his, this time more desperate

“did i tell you that i’ve been in love with you since day one?”

you plopped your head on his shoulder and he laughs

“will you please be my s/o, f/n l/n?”

you accept and you two lay down on the grass interlocking hands and watching the clouds

your video went viral because everyone was astounded that someone was able to recreate one of the most iconic scenes in movie history

this man…. has no chill

he also doesn’t have tiktok

“what is a ‘tiktok’”

oh todoroki you beautiful beautiful idiot

you describe tiktok and how you once saw a video of someone clowning endeavor

he never got an app so fast

his first and only video is him flipping off a green screen photo of his dad and nothing else

lmao

uraraka is the one to tell him about the trend

she shows a video to midoriya, iida, and todoroki that shows two people sitting on a couch and it seems that they’re watching a movie together

todoroki and iida assume that they’re dating since they look really close

they don’t even notice the caption that clearly says ‘kissing my best friend challenge’

they’re just kinda bored of it until one person turns to face the other

when they’re both facing each other they just… start making out

like its mutual

and iida and todoroki are still like “why are they posting their make out session on tiktok???”

uraraka has to explain and midoriya is just kinda indifferent about it

a few hours later and the whole class is hanging in the common area

bakugou, sero, kirishima, and sato are in the kitchen making snacks for the movie everyone is about to watch

everyone else is littered around the room - some people on couches, some on the floor, and some just standing around talking

you and todoroki are awkwardly talking and you’re laughing at something that wasn’t really that funny but that’s okay!1!

cuz todoroki wants to see you laugh all the time 🥺

ever since he first saw you he’s always harbored some crush towards you but his childhood trauma and scars keep him back from saying anything

but he’s really so touch starved

he WANTS to be with you and he REALLY wants to kiss you

uraraka catches everyone’s attention and asks todoroki if she can borrow his phone

he questions it before handing it to her

she opens tiktok and tells everyone to just start dancing

she whispers something into todoroki’s ear and he just goes stiff

literally will not move even when the video is going

suddenly he remembers what he’s supposed to do and he very quickly grabs your face and kisses you

remember when i said he has no chill? yeah, cuz he doesn’t.

he just kissed you in front of your whole class

even the four in the kitchen who came out just in time to see you two ‘eating each others’ faces’ as bakugou yelled out

you look at the ground and todoroki just assumes the worst

he asks if he can talk to you and you say yes

so he pulls you to the kitchen and asks if that was okay

you can very faintly hear the concern and worry in his voice and you look into his eyes

“i just didn't know that you liked me back”

he processes this for a moment before giving you a soft smile

“of course i like you, how could i not fall for you?”

with this, you two wrap your arms around each other and stay there for a few moments

then you two kiss again. this time, todoroki is fully aware of the intimate action you two are doing so he accidentally freezes and burns you at the same time

he apologizes and you assure him that it's alright and that the pain will subside

once you two go back to the others everyone starts cheering as they see your interlocked hands

you’re holding his left hand and he's super hot and sweaty

uraraka congratulates you two and hands todoroki his phone

you two watch the video and you convince him to post it

he finally does and that's when you see the endeavor video

you two laugh it off and sit down on the couch to cuddle as the movie begins

the video went viral since he was viral from his last video but most of the comments are saying how pretty he is (which made you jealous but he never goes on tiktok so he assures you it's alright)

#bnha #bnha x reader #mha #anime #kirishima x reader #sero x reader #todoroki x reader #eijiro kirishima #hanta sero #shoto todoroki

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stanchonkyman · 4 years ago

Text

☆Road Trips and Promises☆

☆Stanley Pines x Reader☆

♡Fluffy and Feel Good♡

-•☆~~~~☆•-

At peace. That's how you felt at that moment. You were enveloped in warm blankets and the pillow against your head and felt so right. It felt as nothing could ruin how at peace you were. That was until your lover decided to rip the blanket off of you. A waft of cold air smacked against your skin and goosebumps formed almost immediately. You groaned and tried to pull the blanket back, but Stan held it out of your reach. "Nope. Come on, toots. It's time to wake up." He hummed, a grin on his face.

"Stan, it's still dark outside." You whine, turning on your side and laying in a way that faced you away from him. Stan let out a huff. "And we have a long road ahead of us. Come on. I got our bags in the car and the car is running." Stan told you, his knee sinking into the mattress as he knelt onto it. You inched away from him, closer to the wall in which your bed was pressed against. "Come on, (Y/N). You're either waking up, or I'm making you wake up." He warned you, his hand reaching your side. You merely twitched in response.

He pressed a kiss to the back of your neck. "(Y/N).." he purred in your ear. You shuddered and whined. "Can't you just carry me.." you whined tiredly. "You still need to get up and get dressed, darlin'". He told you, brushing his hand up and down against your side. You squeaked out a giggle in response to this. "You're lucky you're so damn cute.." he mumbled, taking hold of your hips and sitting you up in his lap. You lazily laid your head against his shoulder, leaving a gentle kiss on it while you were at it.

"Don't you act cute with me." He mumbled, rubbing your hip in small circles. You look up at him with pleading eyes. His face flushed slightly. "I know what you're doing! And I won't allow it!" Stan moved swiftly and pushed you back down on the mattress. You squeak. "Wait, Stan!" You knew what was coming and he gained a devilish grin. His hands slipped under your shirt. His hands were huge seeming to you, his skin rough and calloused on top of that. "Stan pleaseeeee." You plead. "You gonna get up?" He questioned. You whimpered but said nothing.

"Okay, I warned you." He smiled toward you and he started scribbling his fingers against your skin. You burst out into laughter immediately. "No no no!!" You scream, squirming to get away from him and his method of waking you up. "Come on, (Y/N)! You know the drill!" Stan urges you, moving from your sides to scribbling against your ribs. "Okay! Okay! I'll get up! Just please stop!" You squealed through your laughter. Stan laughed and came to a stop. "Good." He gave you a small kiss on the nose, getting up off of you and pulling you up and out of bed.

You roll your eyes and grab your clothes, stripping off. Stan stood in the doorway, grinning playfully. "Lookin' good, toots." He sent you a wink. Nothing you weren't used to. A chuckle escaped your throat. "Oh, shut up, old man." You threw your shirt at him, the fabric splatting on his face. He takes it off and tosses it into the hamper. "Who you calling old man? Do I need to give you another lesson?" He asked, inching over behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. "No, I'm good. Thank you though." You shot him a grin.

He chuckled and pressed a kiss to your bareback and up to the back of your neck. "For wanting me to get up and ready, you sure are stalling me, Stan." You teased. "I suppose you're right." He pressed another kiss to the side of your neck. "Not that you would hate it." You giggle as he parts his body from yours. You threw your fresh shirt on, then running to the bathroom to tend to your own personal hygiene.

Soon, you book it down to the kitchen where Stan is waiting for you. "There you are. It's about time." Stan tried over to you with his usual grin. "You ready?" He asked, pulling you close to him and peppering kisses all around your face. If this man wasn't the embodiment of physical affection, then you didn't know what was. You laugh and return it with a peck to his lips. "Yeah, now I am. Where exactly are we going?" You question as Stan scoops you up into his arms. "Wherever the road takes us, sugar." He pressed yet another kiss to your temple.

Stan carried you out to his car, which was kept surprisingly nest for how reckless he could be. You expected more denting, but no. He kept it in good shape. He opened your car door and set you in the seat, taking your seatbelt and putting it on for you. "Now yours spoiling me, huh?" You smiled toward him with gleaming eyes. "Gotta do something for you." Stan squeezed your shoulder softly before getting out of your way and shutting your car door. He then walks around the hood of the car, then slipping into the driver's seat. He shuts his door and turns on the ignition. (Again.) You watch him.

"Seatbelt, Stanley." You urged. Stan responds with a blank stare. For some reason, he was always against having his own seatbelt on. Yet, he always made you wear one. "Put it onnnnn." You told him. "Fine, fine." He waved his hand at you and put his seatbelt on. You were satisfied at the click of the buckle.

He sets his foot on the brake, then shifted into reverse. He backed out, stopped, shifted into drive, then he set off down the road. You watch out the window, listening to the gentle tap of Stan's fingers against the steering wheel. You both made some quiet small talk throughout your time on the road. You had been driving for about 3 hours when you gave a light shudder. Stan noticed this from the corner of his eye, turning on hazards and pulling to the side of the road. "Huh?" You looked over to him. He carefully took off his jacket and threw it over you. Then, flipped hazards off and got back onto the road. You stared at him blankly.

"You just know exactly what I'm thinking. Don't ya?" You laugh and wrap the thick jacket around your shoulders. Stan smiled in response to that. "Yeah, well. After years of loving and living with someone, you get to know every one of their little quirks. Like that shudder you did. You shutter, cross your leg and hug yourself when you're cold. Though that's easy to spot." Stan says casually. You snicker. "You're a dork you know." You send him a smile and he smiled back, although having a main focus on the road ahead.

There's another comfortable silence. You lay your head against the window, feeling the soft rumbling of the movement of the car. It's comfortable. You almost feel as if you're ready to doze off once more. You're about to doze off, but you feel Stan's hand touch your thigh. He gives a soft hum, rubbing your thigh softly with his thumb. It seemed more like a caring motion than anything. Since you were slumped, it was probably one of the only ways he could reach you. You pretended to be asleep, not wanting him to stop the motion.

He continued on for a few minutes. His hand drifted down your leg till his hand reached right above your knee. You were confused as to why he stopped the motion. He squeezed your knee with his thumb and index finger. Your leg jolted at the touch and you sat up. "I knew you were awake." Stan chuckled. "Noooo... You woke me up. Now you owe me a kiss." You said, crossing your arms playfully. "No you weren't, toots. Remember, I know your quirks. And you were far too stiff to be asleep." Stan chuckled as he pulled onto a gravel road. "But I will still give you your kiss when we stop."

You smile and Stan retracts his hand back onto the steering wheel. The gravel road went on for about 15 more minutes until the road ended, the only thing ahead of you being grass. Stan stops and parks the car, unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out. You took your seatbelt off and Stan opened your door for you. "Thanks." You smile and step out of the car. Stan shuts the door behind you and rested his hand on the small of your back. "Do you know where we're going?" You cock your head to the side. Stan just smiled in response, leading you down the grass path, trees on either side of you. "Just trust me." He breathes out. You nod and follow.

It takes a little while, but eventually, Stan stops you. You look to him. "I'm going to need you to close your eyes." He says. You tilted your head. "You're not planning to murder me. Are you?" You stifled a laugh. Stan laughs and shakes his head. "No, just trust me." He takes your smaller hand in his significantly larger one. You closed your eyes and he guided you to somewhere unknown. Soon, there's a faint sound of water. Then, it gets louder and louder. Until Stan comes to a sudden stop, causing you to bump into him slightly. He wrapped his arm around your waist in a secure manner.

"Can... Can I open my eyes?" You asked. "Not yet. Give me your hand." Stan commands. You nod and hold up your hand. "Now, (Y/N). I've had this idea for about a year now." He said, in a softer tone than normal. "And you know how marriage isn't exactly my thing." You feel him shift his weight. "But I still want to show my commitment." He tells you, taking a deep breath.

"(Y/N), we've been together for 6 years now. And I have never experienced the amount of happiness and comfort that I have when I've been with you. I never want my time with you to end. Life has rarely been kind to me, but it seems like I've finally gotten some sympathy. Because you've been brought onto my life. You're the light in my life. The thing I would live for. My first and last thought of the day. I would be more than lost without you. And although, we agreed to not go through the official marriage process...but..." He slips something on your finger. "I still want to make you this promise. This promise to stay with you through everything. So, (Y/N), will you promise to stay forever with me?.."

Your eyes opened, immediately shining with joyful tears. "Stan..." Warm tears slipped down your cheeks and you threw your arms around him so tight. He returned the tight embrace, burying his face against your shoulder as he swayed softjly. You hadn't even noticed the beautiful scene he took you to. A beautiful scene where trees enclosed this beautiful waterfall. The trees were bright vibrant orange, red, and yellow. The fall time was always so beautiful. You looked back to Stan, laying your head against his own. "Of course I will. Of course." The both of you tightened your grip on one another. "I would never say no to that." You whisper, brushing your fingers against his cheek. "I can promise you that."

He smiled back at you and without warning, he pressed his lips to yours. He moved his arms and wrapped them tightly around your hips, pulling you close so your bodies were pressed together. Your arms wrapped around his neck and you tangled your fingers in his hair. You both just seemed to melt into one another as this was the best moment in your life. It seemed to last for an eternity. Though, you found yourselves pulling apart only a small amount for air. You pressed your forehead against him softly. "God, I love you so much." Stan breathed out. "I love you too. So much.." You smiled, breathtakingly.

-•☆~~~~☆•-

That next summer, Mabel and Dipper came for yet another visit. As soon as Stan and you video called them to tell them the news, they decided they had to come back to Gravity Falls. Mabel excitedly squealed while Dipper congratulated you both fondly. Ford was also pleased and happy for the both of you. So, as soon as the twins came back to Gravity Falls, Mabel had the idea to throw an 'unofficial official' wedding for both you and Stan. Mabel helped you dress up and was your maid of honor, which she greatly accepted the role of.

Mabel had decorated the place outside the shack, against the woods. There were told up chairs and Mabel threw rose pedals over the makeshift aisle. When you walked down the aisle, Stan's eyes lit up like never before. You came and stood in front of him, your hands wrapped around each other. Everyone from the small town came to the wedding, sitting in the various fold-up chairs. Dipper and Ford stood beside Stan while Mabel and Wendy stood beside you. Soos was standing nearby, trying to play music.

Mabel quickly got up and got in the middle of you. She let you both say your vows to each other, which you both wrote on your own. "Waddles! The rings!" Mabel called as Pacifica came down the aisle, luring Waddles down the aisle, who had a pillow attached to him with two rings. Pacifica hurried back to her seat as you and Stan both took the rings. Waddles ran off as soon as he got the chance. Mabel cleared her throat. "Now, do you, Grunkle Stan take (Y/N) to be your unlawfully sorta wedded partner?" Mabel asked. Stan fumbled. "I do." He said, with a happy gleam in his eye. He slipped the ring on your finger. "And do you, (Y/N), take Grunkle Stan to be your unlawfully sorta wedded partner?" Mabel asked. You smiled brightly as a tear slipped down your cheek. "I do." You slipped the ring onto his finger.

"You may now kiss the Grunkle!"

Stan and you didn't hesitate, pulling each other into an embrace, lips together in a passionate kiss. Everyone watching erupted in a cheer and clapped. The kiss lasted a couple of moments before you both pulled away with big smiles, hands still intertwined. You were greeted with big smiles and cheering. Your heart pounded and you swooned in the amount of life you had felt. Stan then scooped you up into his arms, peppering kisses all over your face as he headed back down the aisle. Everyone watched you as you both left.

This had to be the best day of your life. No doubts about it.

#stanley pines/reader #stanley pines x reader #stan pines x reader #grunkle stan x reader #stan pines/reader #dipper pines #gravity falls #grunkle stan #mabel pines #stanford pines #gravity falls fluff #gravity falls x reader #stanley pines #stan pines #stanley x reader #stan x reader #reader insert

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themadlostgirl · 4 years ago

Text

When It’s Cold (3)

*It’s the mutual pining for me*

~~~

A few weeks had passed of Felix and I living together and trying to find our way back to Neverland. So far all our ideas and plans lead to nothing and I was starting to get disheartened. It felt like we were never going to get back to Neverland at this rate.

Life in the mansion was pretty nice though. We were a little worried during the first week, paranoid that someone was going to return and throw us out into the cold but no one even came near the house. I was starting to wonder if anyone besides us even knew it was here.

Over the course of our stay I learned how to do laundry and bought a bike so I could get to and from town quicker. Felix and I had discussed stealing a car but seeing as how neither of us knew how to drive and stealing a car would put us under investigation we didn’t. Felix on the other hand turned out to be quite adept at cooking. He found a recipe book in one of the drawers of the kitchen and seemed to enjoy figuring out how to make certain dishes. Aside from a few burned casseroles and a very unfortunate miscommunication involving spaghetti he was doing really well. Almost every evening he had some new dish ready for dinner. I started baking again so we always had warm brownies or chocolate chip cookies in the house.

Life was good. When we weren’t looking into ways back to Neverland we were lounging around the house. We found a record player in one of the rooms and played it when it was too quiet. A few times I had caught Felix dancing around the kitchen while cooking dinner at which point he immediately stopped and pretended he wasn’t. It made him a whole lot less intimidating seeing that he was secretly a bit of a dork underneath the hard exterior.

I think that was the best part of being stuck here together. We were learning more about each other. Felix was really closed off from conversations at first but after a few days his tongue loosened up. I learned that he got the scar on his face as a result of an incident before he came to Neverland though he couldn’t remember what exactly. He preferred sweet over salty and loved chocolate covered pretzels. On Neverland he used to collect sand dollars until the other boys found his collection and smashed them all. It was nice learning these little things about him. It made me feel like we were closer.

When the idle days became too much to bear we turned to sparring to keep the boredom away. We turned the ballroom into a sparring arena so we wouldn’t lose our edge. So far we’ve only broken one vase!

One such day we were in the ballroom again fighting and I had finally got a leg up on Felix and pinned him to the ground. “Gotcha!” We were both breathing hard and I was sat right on top of him with my arms pinning his wrists against the floor. I froze as the position we were in rocketed into my mind. Felix took the moment of hesitation to break free from my hold and rolled us over so I was pinned under him. I could have argued that this position was even worse.

I swear I tried not to stare at his lips. I really did but one quick flicker down his face and I couldn’t stop looking no matter how many times I forced my eyes to look back up at his eyes.

He let me go when he saw I had completely checked out of the fight and left, leaving me reeling on the floor as to what just happened.

For as friendly as things between Felix and I got there was a problem running parallel to it. I had hoped that the last of my dirty thoughts and weird feelings for Felix would have gone away after that first day but it seemed to be having the opposite effect. The closer Felix and I got as friends the more I was pining after him and it was torture!

At some point I stopped trying to deny my body the release it craved when my mind created lewd fantasies of Felix. There was nothing wrong if it was all in my head. No one would have to know and our relationship as roommates, partners, and friends would be untarnished.

I had everything under control. That is until the night the electric went out.

There had been a huge snow storm and it knocked out power to the whole town. Huddled under a bunch of blankets and thick warm layers of clothes helped keep out any chill but it didn’t keep me warm enough. I had left the warmth of my room to start a fire in the fireplace and noticed that it was already lit. Felix was sitting in front of it with a blanket wrapped around him.

“Cold got to you too?” I asked as I sat down next to him.

“Didn’t realize how much I hated being cold until the heat turned off.” He sighed.

We sat in companionable silence for a while, listening to the fire crackle.

“Felix,” I finally said, “Do you think we’re ever gonna find a way out of here and back to Neverland? It’s been over a month and we haven’t made any headway.”

“I know.” Felix turned to look at me, “It gets a little harder everyday to keep up the flimsy hope that we’ll get back home.”

“I’m sorry I made come here.” I told him, “You would be back on Neverland without a worry in the world if I hadn’t asked you to come with me.”

“My decisions are my own. No use blaming yourself for them.” Felix ruffled my hair, the only form of affection he willingly showed.

“So why then?” I asked, “Why did you come to Storybrooke with me?”

“Why did you ask me to come?” He countered.

I took a deep breath. This same old impasse. He wouldn’t answer me unless I answered him first.

“I wanted to have someone I knew I could rely on.” I answered, “The boys that left on the ship with the adults couldn’t be relied on. They wanted families and lives away from Neverland. They wouldn’t help me get revenge for what those bastards did to Pan. But you were always loyal and I knew that you would help me if it meant avenging him.”

“You could have asked any of the other boys that chose to stay. They were also loyal. Why not ask one of them? Or was it that you had and I turned out to be the only one who said yes?” Felix said, drawing the blanket in closer around him.

“I didn’t ask anyone else. I asked you because I knew you were the only one I could trust. The only one I wanted to come with me.”

This caught Felix’s attention. He opened and closed his mouth as if searching for something to say but came up short.

“So now you have to answer my question.” I turned towards him fully, “Why did you come with me?”

His mouth snapped shut and he looked away from me. I feared he may leave without giving me an answer but he stayed seated. An internal war dueling inside his mind as he mulled over what to tell me.

Finally he exhaled and searched my eyes. There was something softer about the way he gazed at me that had me holding my breath. When he spoke it was barely a whisper and had me leaning closer to hear.

“I came with you because...because I…” He swallowed, “I came with you because I didn’t want to be on Neverland without you. We never hung out but I was never ignorant of you. You brought so much life to those around you and I...”

“Felix,” I exhaled. I reached to touch him but he pulled away just as I did. He started to stand up but I grabbed the blanket around him halting his actions.

Felix stared down at me, eyes wide and panicked. He looked like a rabbit caught in a trap.

“Please don’t go!” I blurted out. “You don’t have to run from me.”

“What makes you think I’m running?” He asked, his voice low.

“What else would you call this?” I stood up as well. “It’s just us here, Felix. No one else can hear or see what we do. You don’t need to act tough and stoic for the sake of your reputation. I’ve already seen you dance around the kitchen while cooking soup. I think the masks can come off now.”

“I’m not wearing a mask, little girl.” He spat.

“Keep telling yourself that.” I turned to leave. Why had I said anything? I completely ruined any and all progress we had been making up to this point. If I thought he might have been distant before he was sure to keep away from me now. Stupid feelings and hormones making me say things I shouldn’t be saying!

“Wait!” Felix caught me at the staircase. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with this anymore and it must have been evident in my eyes as he turned me around to look at him. “Just wait a moment.”

“Felix, I’m tired in more ways than one. Just let me go.” I tried to shrug his arms off me.

“Please,” The word bled from his lips. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Felix say please in my life. “Please just give me a moment.”

“A moment for what?”

“To think.”

“Think of what?” I demanded. “Whatever it is you want to say just say it.”

“I--I--” He stammered. “Damn it,” he hissed before slamming his lips to mine.

The sheer force of the kiss nearly knocked me backwards. The ferocity of which he kissed me was hungry and passionate. Like he was drowning and looking for air. The blanket around me dropped to the floor as I clung onto him to keep balanced. My lips moved against his with similar excitement. My heart was hammering so loud in my chest it was all I could hear.

When the need for air became too much we pulled back. Felix rested his head against mine. Eyes screwed shut. I was still trying to wrap my mind around what had just happened when he cursed under his breath and shot past me on the stairs. The sound of a door slamming shut broke me out of my haze.

Felix kissed me.

Not a quick kiss either.

Felix kissed me like I had been dreaming about for the past several weeks. I tentatively touched my lips, savoring the memory of the way his mouth felt against mine. I quickly doused the fire in the living room and rushed up the stairs. I hovered outside of Felix’s door trying to find the courage to knock.

“I know you’re out there,” Felix’s muffled voice came from within startling me. “I suggest you save whatever you have to say and take it with you back to your own room.”

“Felix,” I sighed, “I think we need to talk about what happened on the stairs.”

“Forget about it.” He snapped, “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“I think you do. I think you know exactly what you were doing and that scares you more than if you were just reacting out of hormones.” I snapped back. “So how about you stop running and hiding from me and give me a straight answer for once!”

“I said to go away!”

“Fine!” I shouted, banging my fist against the door, “But you should know that I didn’t mind it at all you insufferable ass! I actually quite enjoyed it but, of course, you don’t care about that. Goodnight Felix.”

I stormed off back to my room and slammed the door shut behind me. I rolled into bed but sleep did not come easily. My feelings before were only more confused now after Felix had kissed me. How could he just kiss me after saying something unexpectedly sweet and then abandon me without a single word of explanation?

How is it even possible to like someone you hate so much?

~~~

Felix is a fucking idiot.

That’s it. That’s all it was. He was an idiot and he had proven that more than well enough tonight when he kissed you. Oh god above he actually broke and kissed you. He told you why he had been so willing to follow you away from Neverland and then he kissed you.

In the moment he couldn’t get the words he knew he owed you out. They were there scrambled in his brain but unable to get past his tongue. So he put his mouth to a better use.

He nearly moaned when he got a taste of you. Your breath was minty. Your lips so soft against his. He hadn’t meant to get so lost in it. But he finally had you in his arms and he didn’t want to let the sensation go.

Then you were kissing him back. Your hands tangled in his hair pulling him closer. Urging him on as he pressed your bodies together. He could have gone on forever kissing you if reality and common sense hadn’t come back to him in the moment you both were catching your breath.

He was supposed to be finding a way back to Neverland, not making out with you! But it felt so good to kiss you. You had been so perfect and warm in his arms. Thoughts of picking you up carrying you back to his room had entered his mind but were just as quickly dashed away. He couldn’t afford to be distracted. Not even by you.

You came pounding on his door yelling at him about his rude treatment towards you. Screaming about how you enjoyed the kiss as well. That almost had him running to unlock the door but the sound of your door slamming down the hall left him sat on the floor in frustration. How could he fix this? Was there anyway that he could? Would you even want anything to do with him after tonight?

Your words came back to him in that moment of contemplation. “It’s just us here, Felix. No one else can hear or see what we do.”

You were right. Of course you were right. No one else’s opinions mattered. There was no reputation to protect or people to disappoint here. He was not here for anyone to gossip about around a bonfire. It was just the two of you in this big mansion alone. There was no need to be embarrassed.

If only he had come to that realization before he shut you out for good.

There was one thing he could do to make this right. It could also backfire on him horribly but he’d rather try and fail then lose you forever because of one careless night. He would need electricity to do it but hopefully it would be back on in the morning. Restless but determined Felix crawled into bed. Plans of how to fix this mess so he could have your soft lips on his again dancing in his head.

---

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#felix imagine #felix x reader #ouat felix #ouat #neverland #peter pan ouat #roommate au

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shima-draws · 4 years ago

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FINALLY NEW OC TIME BABEY

The boy is Emrys, a prince from the Mirrorplane who is on the run from his own kingdom! The girl is Lacie, an orphan who was raised by a guild that rescued her from a somewhat abusive/manipulative friendship as a child!

More (incredibly long) info about these kiddos under the cut~

Emrys (or Em for short)

Age: 23

Hair color: Golden orange

Eye color: Red

Element: Lightning

Emrys is from the Mirrorplane, the parallel world to ATS. His kingdom is caught in a huge power struggle between all the other kingdoms, and Emrys’ mother, a queen who only seeks power from others, is leading them straight into ruin. Emrys is destined to receive the Crest of the Crowned, which is basically a huge emblem of power, as soon as he’s officially crowned as the king. Except that the queen plans to utilize the emblem’s power to start a grand war, which. Is not good!! The night Emrys finds this out, he plans to escape the kingdom along with his childhood best friend Lixin, a regular human who’s basically being used as a pawn to be married off to Emrys’ younger sister in order to create powerful elemental children. Yikes! Emrys is also engaged to a princess from another kingdom, but it’s an arranged marriage, and he doesn’t have feelings for her (so there’s another good reason for him to leave). Lixin is caught during his escape, and Emrys leaps to his rescue, but in the scuffle things get tense and he accidentally kills the guards sent after them. Hands stained with blood, Emrys stumbles into a portal leading to the other side of the Mirrorplane.

Emrys decides that he might as well stay there since he doesn’t know how to get home and he probably shouldn’t go home--he’ll be safer here, and this way his mother can’t use him to start a war. This goes alright for a couple months as he adapts to a world that isn’t constantly fighting with each other, until he realizes that his mother somehow sent people to come look for him and capture him so he can be dragged back home. He also hears word that Lixin is in this world as well. Emrys goes on the run, never sticking around one place for long, and tries to search for Lixin along the way. This is when he meets Lacie!

Personality traits

• Has a hard time trusting people in general. Refuses to get close to people in fear of them getting hurt. Because he's on the run and is a target he tries to keep to himself. A very lone wolf type. Doesn't want other people to get dragged into his problems so he tries to handle everything alone

• Very quiet, observant, INCREDIBLY intelligent--gets really absorbed in books when given the chance. One of the few times his facade falls and he gets Soft and passionate is when he's immersed in reading/studying. Loves absorbing knowledge from this world since it’s different from the Mirrorplane

• Makes scathing remarks often. Doesn't get riled up even when people tempt him. Is able to keep a very cool head most of the time. When he does get angry he gets STUBBORN. Refuses to let people try to talk to him or calm him down. Brushes people off and ignores attempts at support

• You know that he trusts you when he teases you or pokes fun at you

• Very wary. Always keeps an eye out for an escape route

• Careful around people. Knows his strength so he tries not to hurt others

• Deep down tho he's utterly selfless, unbelievably loyal to the people he cares about, and is a truly kind and generous person. He would sacrifice anything, even himself, to keep his friends safe, and beats himself up constantly if one of them gets hurt. Once he learns to open himself up to others he becomes Tender and is able to express himself easier. He's truly a gentle person at heart

• Is awful at romance because he has no experience (even being engaged) and gets flustered easily when it comes to anything with romantic intent. This is like the one thing he has zero confidence in. Lacie usually has to take charge in this department because he’s too hesitant and nervous to figure anything out himself, so he tends to follow her lead, which sometimes leads to disaster but they figure things out one step at a time!

• Was attracted to Lacie immediately but didn’t want to get close to her bc he knew she’d get hurt because of him. WELP

• Develops a huge guilt complex after Lacie loses her arm

Elemental abilities

Lightning elemental: Uses a thin sword/rapier to fight. Is VERY fast and agile. Usually starts by hitting pressure points and jolting them with electricity to numb the nerves. Doesn’t really like using his lightning directly so he tries to stick to the rapier as often as possible

He’s not a huge fan of fighting so he’d rather avoid conflict if necessary (especially after he killed someone on accident before). However he should not be underestimated in battle--he’s been trained how to fight from a young age so he knows what he’s doing. He uses a lot of tactics and smarts to get himself out of sticky situations

Lacie

Age: 21

Hair color: Gray/silver

Eye color: Brown

Element: Metal

Lacie’s parents died when she was very young, so she was sent to an orphanage shortly after. Her parents were bandits, labeled as outlaws, so a lot of the kids teased her and ostracized her. This caused her to hold a grudge against both them and her parents, even though they’d only resorted to thievery to provide for her and themselves. There was, however, one person who reached out to her there--an older girl named Gwendolyn. Gwen was very standoffish and didn’t care what the other children thought of her. She was the first person to treat Lacie normally, so Lacie grew attached to her. However, Gwen used Lacie and treated her as a tool to do what she wanted, but Lacie, too terrified of losing the only ‘friend’ she had, never spoke up about it. Gwen did care about Lacie, and there was a genuine friendship there, but that was overshadowed of her tendency to manipulate Lacie.

Gwen eventually hatched a plan to escape the orphanage and strike out on their own. Lacie agreed and together they snuck out in the middle of the night. (Sounds familiar? Wow, parallels!) The next day, Gwen tried to steal from a person in town, which ended up being a member of the guild nearby. Gwen managed to get to Lacie before getting caught and shoved the stolen items onto her, making her a target. Lacie realized how awful this was and finally gathered the courage to yell at Gwen. The guild member caught up, saw their interaction, and took Gwen in for questioning. He escorted Lacie to the guild, where she was pretty much adopted by the members.

Lacie grew up with the guild and learned compassion and how to forgive her parents. As an adult she’s a very kind, friendly and confident person. She is still burdened by her past but she tries not to let it get to her.

Personality traits

• Not the most polite person since she doesn't really have a filter

• VERY curious. Somewhat naive. Asks a lot of bugging questions if she doesn't know something

• Hot-headed and stubborn. Gets riled up easily, but can control herself when she's angry. Argues a lot but isn't fond of it

• In reality, a very kind person who cares for her friends and would do anything to protect her family. Spirited and determined

• Can be kind of silly, especially when she's trying to cheer others up. Emrys finds her amusing and calls her a dork

• A leader type character...one that can take charge of the situation when everybody else is losing their heads

• Willing to step out of her comfort zone and dive into new adventures without hesitation. She lives for the thrill. Is spontaneous and willing to take risks/chances. Drags Emrys into her fun a lot bc he’s so sheltered as a prince lmao

• Self confident on the outside, insecure in reality (a lot of this comes from the emotional abuse she went through as a kid). But not enough that it's crushing--just enough to make her second guess things sometimes, ESPECIALLY when it comes to Emrys because he's a rubix cube of emotions and she's always afraid of overstepping her boundaries--this is only when she finds out more about him tho. She doesn't mind being an ass to him when they first met because he’s kind of a jerk so her first instinct is to lash out at him

• Isn't necessarily a rule breaker until it's brought up, and then she gets excited about doing daring things. Is almost too enthusiastic about it sometimes

Elemental abilities

Metal elemental: Uses throwing knives infused with magic to fight. Being a metal elemental, she’s able to control their trajectory and can toss them around and have them zip right back to her like boomerangs. She mostly uses these to unbalance enemies and strike them hard enough that they get too dizzy to stand. After she loses her arm, she also utilizes the metal it’s made out of to temporarily transform it into usable weapons.

She’s fine with fighting and is hasty enough to throw herself into battle without thinking, but is fine with peace talks most of the time.

AND NOW onto how these two cuties meet ;)

If it weren’t obvious by now Emrys is a loner and therefore hates guilds and being associated with them. So naturally, after running into Lacie, he treats her with a lot of attitude and snark, which she retaliates against. After Lacie helps him chase off a couple thugs that he stole stolen goods back from (not the people actually chasing him), she somehow coerces him into the guild for a couple days, and he’s unsettled yet warmed by the friendly atmosphere. Emrys eventually admits he has to stick around town for a while to make some money, so Lacie offers to help him out by going out on official guild missions. Emrys is like I don’t need or want your help and she’s like alright fine then try making money on your own, guild missions pay WAY better and you can’t do one without an official member escort. So he’s like. Jesus fine okay I’ll go on the damn mission with you LOL

They go on a couple missions together and start getting close. Emrys is like oh no this is not what I want so he panics and tries to leave town, but Lacie catches up to him and yells him for leaving without saying anything. Unfortunately during this whole mess the trackers sent to follow Emrys find out where he’s hiding. He and Lacie go out on one last goodbye mission together and they get ambushed. They’re horribly outnumbered and even when Emrys resorts to actually fighting his hardest, Lacie gets terribly injured. Emrys manages to fight off the attackers, getting his hair cut off shorter in the process (which is why it’s shorter and in a cute little half bun in the second pic), but Lacie’s losing so much blood at this point--so he stumbles into the closest building in the closest town and GUESS WHO’S IT IS.

YEAH. IT’S THE ROBO FAM!! (Take note that this is like, 2-3 years after they return from the Mirrorplane themselves, so they’re around 25 at this point.)

Elias and Gifre are enjoying a nice evening prosthetic check date when Emrys stumbles into the mechanic shop, covered in Lacie’s blood, and begs for help before passing out. Both of them go OH SHIT and immediately leap to the rescue. As Elias, Gi-bot, Ava and Ignis (who were called in) work on patching up Lacie’s wounds, Elias realizes that her arm is too far gone to be saved. And this is kind of a sad moment for him since you know. He also lost his arm. So he can relate. Ava’s like you’ll just have to make her the best goddamn prosthetic in the world then and he’s like alright yeah, so they have to remove Lacie’s left arm and it’s. Not pretty.

Emrys wakes up several hours later to find that Gifre treated his wounds. When he asks where Lacie is and Gifre shows him, he immediately breaks down, because she got hurt SO badly because of him and this is why he didn’t want to get close to her in the first place. He laments over dragging her into his mess, and Gifre gives him a nice long Pep Talk, coming from a similar situation with dragging Elias into his personal issues with Python’s Blood. It helps a little, but Gifre can tell Em’s gonna be blaming himself for this for a WHILE (hence the guilt complex comment).

As Lacie recovers and gets used to her new prosthetic (and keeps smacking Emrys whenever he looks guilty about it), the two of them become closer despite Emrys’ attempts not to--but Lacie is stubborn and refuses to let him distance himself. They also get really close and bond a lot with the robo fam, having bunked with them for a while. The main part of the story is just these domesticity moments with the robo fam and their two new dysfunctional houseguests LOL

Eventually Emrys does find Lixin and decides to return to the Mirrorplane to sort things out with his mother, and that brings up a whole bunch of crazy drama, but the robo fam and Lacie come with him (and by that point he’s gone Full Tender and leans on them a lot for support so it’s NICE and CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT), so things get sorted out one way or another. There is a point where he and Lacie have a huge fight because Lacie...finds out something about the Mirrorplane that she does not like, and it nearly shatters her entire relationship with Em, so that’s a big oof. But they get it all sorted out and it’s fine. The reason why their fight hurts even worse is because at this point they’re full on in love with each other but are both too awful at romance to actually say anything. They’re stupid and they can’t communicate and I love them

Yes they end up together because *points at self* I’m a hopeless romantic loser. Lacie becomes a princess of the Mirrorplane which is WEIRD as hell to her but she gets used to it. Also they actually don’t stay there, Emrys hands the kingdom over to his younger sister, who’s always been better at handling royal affairs, and comes back to the regular verse with Lacie to live with her there. They get a house in Spinel Town near the robo fam and LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER THE END

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