#But there's something really special about these two specifically
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howlett-dekarios · 2 days ago
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𝙽𝚘𝚝 𝚊 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝
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▏Cage-fighter!Logan x Reader
▏Summary: Charles gave you a mission of recruiting a new mutant. Not everything went according to plan...
(Scott is an overprotective older brother)
▏Warnings: kinda mean!Logan | virgin!reader | NSFW | MDNI | riding | public sex | car sex | breast play | slight overstimulation | fingering | unprotected p in v (wrap it before you tap it!) | squirting |
▏Word count: 6,5k
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You were surprised when Charles called you into his office. Sure, you were considered as a part of x-men, but since Scott was known for his overprotective nature of an older brother, you barely have been sent on any missions. Stuck in the mansion as if you were still a freaking student. 
“You wanted to see me Professor?” 
“Oh yes, come in Y/n.” He smiled reassuringly, searching through some documents on his desk. When you sat down, he stopped his previous work and focused his attention fully on you. “How are you?” Always a polite and lovely older teacher. 
“Good if we don’t count how Scott has been a pain in the ass lately.” It was met with his little smirk and shake of head. “But you didn’t call me just to chat, am I right, professor?” 
“As perceiving as always, my dear. I wanted to see you because of a rather delicate case.” A light sigh left him, but the smile was still formed on his lips. “You see, at the conference I attended, I met an old friend. But it can’t be seen as a good type of meeting.” 
You got a slight idea about what he was possibly talking about. Magneto. All of you in the team knew how tumultuous the relationship was with these two. Old lovers who separated because of different perceptions of the world and humankind. Too divergent for them to make it work. 
“I have my reasons to believe he’s planning something special for the upcoming conference on which the mutant case will be discussed.” Special was clearly an understatement for the word bad. Really bad if Charles was willing to start his defense before Magneto would do even the first step. “That’s why I need to ask for your help. I believe that Eric wants to acquire a specific mutant for his own purpose.” 
“Why?” 
“That’s the main reason why we need to get to him first. I don’t know.” 
Not good. Even terrible if anyone would ask for your opinion. 
“Why me?” Usually it was Storm who recruited  new faces, shit even Scott sometimes, but never you. 
“Because of your mutation, my dear. The man I want you to find is rather… reluctant when it comes to people. Not very fond of anyone reaching out to him.” 
“You know this guy, professor?” 
“I’ve met him once, yes. That’s why I know he wouldn’t like to see my face again. But your  mutation will be very useful to get to him.” 
Though both of your brothers had mutations connected with energy blasting, yours developed in completely different ways. You were an empath. A very powerful if believing Charles words. Despite not fully understanding its full potential, even now you could read people's emotions. Influence them to your will. Search through the memories that were strong enough to leave a track. Empathize, share and resonate with others' pain, ecstasy or anger. Sometimes you also could see the past through objects that people had core feelings about but you couldn’t control that particular fragment of your ability. Usually it just happens without you having any power over it. Like a passive observer drawn into the vortex of events, forced to experience them in a few seconds, like a stop-motion movie. Professors promised you that at one point you will be able to control it, but so far you haven’t made any progress in it. 
“What you want me to do? Find him and?” 
“Understand and talk him into coming here. While being alone he’s an easy target for Magneto to come for, but here he will be safe and out of reach.” 
“That mutant… he has a name?” 
“Logan.” Another sigh left your former teacher, like he was trying to recall an old memory. “The Wolverine.” 
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You were packing in your room when Scott came in and leaned over the door. 
“You have everything?” 
It was the first time for him to let you go on a solo mission. He had been trying to convince professor to let him go with you, but Charles stood his ground, persuading on you dealing with it on your own. Your brother didn’t like it in the slightest, but it was an old man who had the final word. 
“Yes, Scotty.” You sighed, knowing that he was simply worrying about you. 
“You sure you don’t want me to drive you there.” By drive you knew he meant the jet flight, so you only shook your head, dismissing his offer. 
“I’m a big girl, Scott. I can take care of myself.” 
“I know you can, sunshine.” His tone was less rigid than normally would’ve expected in such circumstances. Scott knew that the only thing he could do now was assure you about your abilities and his faith in you. Show his support and trust. “Just fulfilling my duty as an older brother.” His words made you chuckle. On a daily basis this type of attitude was rather irritating but now when you couldn’t really tell how long you're gonna be gone? It was sweet and you definitely will miss your little banters. “Remember though it’s only a recce. You find this guy, kick his ass if it’ll be necessary and call me so we can pick you up, okay?” 
“Yeah, I’m the best at kicking asses.” 
“Damn you are, N/n.” You both laughed at that, looking at each other. You could say a lot of stuff about him, but in times like that, you couldn’t imagine having anyone else as a brother. Especially after Alex's death. “Come here, you little monster.” You walked towards him and soon enough ended up in a tight hug. “Love you, you know it, right?” 
“Love you too, asshole.” You mouthed back, smirking, your head on his chest, enjoying the warmth of his embrace. 
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After hours of traveling you finally got in an obscure bar in a small village in Canada. The spot where Charles told you the mutant had been last seen. The place was cramped, mostly drunk guys in their forties. To say that you weren’t a perfect fit here was a huge understatement. From the moment you entered and sat near the counter, a lot of those men were giving you curious and dirty glances. 
But you had to focus on the task. While ordering a drink you heard a loud explosion of roars and got curious about the source of them. Quickly you grabbed your glass and walked over to the crowd circled around the cage, some unconscious guy had been dragged out of. 
“Gentlemen! All my years I haven’t seen anything like that! Will you really allow this man to get away with your money?!” 
In the meantime when the announcer cheered the crowd, the guy who was still standing in the cage zeroed a whole glass of whiskey at one. Probably won’t be any advantage in the next fight, you thought. 
“I’ll fight him!” Some drunk dude yelled next to you and stormed into the cage. 
His posture was bigger than the other fighter which made you bet on him. The naked chest one wasn’t even looking at his opponent when the other had made his first move, punching and manhandling him to the fence. It wasn’t a fair action, but you supposed that nothing in this dirty place could be expected to be one. The situation changed completely in the next two seconds because the former champion kicked him off immediately, receiving another round of roars and applause from drunk men around you. 
“The Wolverine, everyone!” 
Bingo. 
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You’ve waited another hour or so and the bar slowly emptied, most of the fans of amateur fights and illegal betting already gone or sleeping drunk in the corners. But the man you’ve been looking for nowhere to be seen even though he left the cage some time ago. 
“You lost, doll?” The rough hand came to the back of your neck and you felt that characteristic flow of emotions pass through you. A drunk idiot who just touched you had only one particular thing in mind and you didn’t like it. His head clouded by need of sticking his dick into something, in that case: you. “Need company? It would be such a shame for a beauty like you to get hurt. It’s not safe in the city by night, you know?” A dirty laugh left him, your skin feeling his hideous breath on your neck. 
“Not interested.” 
“Oh come on, doll, you can’t expect to sit here all alone and not make guys believe that you long for some funny time-“ 
You wanted to channel his thoughts on a completely different track which would give you time to get away from him, but before you could’ve done so, you felt how that guy was pulled away from you. 
“She said she’s not interested, bub. Get the fuck out of here, will ya? Night over, look for some whore to stick your dick into.” Your savior’s voice was threatening, almost wanting that asshole to try something. 
But even in his drunken state the guy knew better than that, evacuating from the place as fast as his wobbly legs allows him to. 
“Thanks.” You whispered relieved how it all worked out without getting messy. Wolverine only checked your posture with indifference and then sat a few stools away. 
Shit, Charles was right about one thing. That guy wasn’t the chatty type. 
“Gimme one bear and gonna head out, Ted.” 
“Some lucky girl waiting for you or what?” Bartender laughed, opening the bottle and setting it in front of the other man. He hasn’t received any answer though. Instead Wolverine lighten the cigar, looking at the small TV broadcasting news about the government conference. The same one that professor mentioned and the one which Magneto wanted to destroy. “Anything for you, sweetie?” 
“I’ll pass.” Logan retreated his eyes to you once again, taking a puff of his cigar. His judging sight drilling into your head, but then returned to the news. 
You really wanted to talk or touch him to discover  why he’s been like this, but before you got a chance to do so, two men approached him from the back. Judging by their facial expression it screamed trouble. 
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Another day of the same fucking fate. Him walking in the bar, drinking some alcohol, knocking out some overconfident morons and then taking the money he gained by making this shit show entertaining. Logan wasn’t sure anymore why he even bothered with it. At first he wanted to understand his past: flashbacks of his memory which led him to a village in Canada. But for the last few weeks he got none of it. No information, no single clue which would make his mind clear about what the fuck had happened and who he truly was. The only good thing about him ending as a cage fighter was the owner not caring about him being mutant, even being overjoyed that Logan was being his an inexhaustible source of income from the illegal gambling. 
After the last fight of the day he was exhausted from all the screaming and shouting. Intoxicated assholes weren’t his problem or at least not until some dickhead would’ve decided to mess with him or kick in the balls like the last jerk who was quickly pacified not so long ago. 
Though the second he saw how some drunk perv tried his luck with the young girl near the counter, he only groaned deeply, heading to help her. A place like this wasn’t the right one for a night out especially if you’re a pretty, young and innocent looking girl who’s there all alone. He shouldn’t care, you’re not his problem, probably even wanting that sort of attention if you willingly chose to spend your night here, but sometimes his morals were taking over him. 
After scaring the freak away and you thanking him, he really fought with himself not to talk to you. Who knows, maybe you would propose to pay him some way. Not in money, preferably being a good laid for the night. Fuck, he really hasn’t had sex in a long time now and honestly if a sweet little thing like you would be okay with it… But he didn’t ask. That way he would’ve ended up being just another asshole. 
The cigar and beer that Ted opened for him had to be enough prize for being a decent guy. 
“You owe me some money.” Logan felt the scent of a man who tapped his back. The same dumbass who was so eager to kick balls in the fight. His more sane friend tried to pull him out of the idea of messing with Wolverine, but with no success. Too fucking bad. “No one man takes punches like that without the mark to show for it. I know what you are.”
“Listen, bub, you lost your money, you keep this up, you gonna lose something else.” Preferably his dick but the arm or teeth would work well enough. For most people Logan was intimidating enough not to try anything after the first and at the same time last warning. But this man obviously had to be another level of idiot. 
“Watch out!” You screamed not knowing that he could sense how that dickhead took a pocket knife from his pocket before you’ve even opened the mouth. It could be considered as a cute gesture, the way you cared and wanted to warn him. Really an innocent little thing you are. 
In no time Logan pinned the asshole who attacked him to the near wall, his two claws out, the middle slowly coming out, the animal anger clearly seen on his face. It was quite a shock that the guy who faced him didn't shit his pants. Well, maybe not yet. 
“Keep your horses, Wolvie.” Ted, said in a calm voice. Shit, Logan really craved to just cut that fool head off but he had a deal with the owner. No killing if he wanted to stay there and get his money. That’s why he slowly retracted his claws, nodding with murderous face at guy to get the fuck out of here before he would’ve changed his mind. His blood was still boiling in pure fury but instead of ripping this place apart, Logan took out another cigar and put it in his mouth, adjusting his jacket. “See you tomorrow?” Bartender asked, but knew the answer anyway. 
“Whatever.” Logan murmured under his breath and stormed out of the bar without giving you any second thought. 
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You knew you shouldn’t have come here again. Scott texted you last night concerned why you haven’t reached out yet. Your only answer being that things got a bit complicated but you can handle this. Apparently only quick intervention of Storm and Jean made him sit his ass down and not storm here right away. 
So here you were, sitting by the same counter and drinking some coke mixed with vodka, waiting for your mission to finally come in.
“You really are looking for troubles, princess, aren’t ya?” He gave you a look full of judgment and hesitation. But something else was hidden behind it. The way he smirked, tone of his voice… almost teasingly pleasing to hear. 
“Maybe I am.” You smiled back, forcing yourself to hold his gaze. 
“Yesterday you got lucky, sweetheart. Tonight you may not have enough of it.” No knight on a white horse would save you. Not Logan. 
“I’ll take the risk.” 
It only made him smirk once again, not believing how naive you were to think you can survive in such a place. 
Seeing him getting ready, warming up in that cage shirtless… it made you feel things you didn’t think were possible in real life. In the mansion you haven’t had much choice in developing your social life. Most of the guys were students, younger than you and being afraid of Scott enough not to even approach you without a good reason: training or other school stuff. Of course your brother couldn’t fully control what you’ve been doing behind the closed doors. Fuck that was probably the reason why Storm gave you a vibrator for your last birthday to help yourself with your needs on your own. But here? With Logan’s naked sweaty chest and dogtags hanging on his neck. You squeezed your legs to get some friction because otherwise you were sure about going crazy. His hair made into little kitty ears weren’t helping your sanity either… 
The night had been going on very identical to the previous one. Him making a pulp out of his opponents who were stupid enough to walk into the cage. His movements were almost hypnotizing. The internal animal while fighting just to be gone a second he had a break for a sip of whiskey. Your attention was less and less focused on your main task, but you had still in mind how he had vanished yesterday. 
It was a freaking stupid idea. Probably one of the most foolish and ridiculous you ever had. So just in case you’ve sent the localization of your phone to Scott, texting him to start the engine. 
“Is there any person who is brave enough to stand this beast? Face him and return the money to you? Or you gonna-“ 
“I will do it.” Your voice echoed through the room, firstly met with silence just to make the crowd laugh. 
“You sure? This is no place for little ladies like you, pretty.” Announcer laughed, trying to disarm all the tension. 
“I’ll take the risk.” You repeated the same words you previously used in little chat with Logan, already walking into the ring. 
Shit, you were rather confident about your fighting skills, your training partner being Colosssus of all the people in the mansion who was a good two feet bigger than you… but you’ve never faced anyone with a healing factor. It definitely was a horrible idea. 
“You go easy on her, we clear?” The man with a mic whispered to Logan’s ear but you heard it anyway. “Don’t need some dumb chick’s blood on this floor and these drunk fucks to get involved.” Logan only nodded, zeroing his drink and turning around to face him. 
Your outfit definitely wasn’t helping your case in being more intimidating. Some washed out jeans and black top showing your thin arms. As if this man would’ve been even intimidated by you in the first place after rescuing you yesterday. 
“Listen princess, maybe it’s not about others, huh? Maybe it’s about lack of survival instincts. Or you’re just dumb. Nothing personal.” He hasn’t attacked yet, rather waiting for you to make a first move. “I’m not into playing with girls. Not like that.” Such a gentleman. “You still have time to-“ 
But you didn’t let him finish. Roundhouse kicked him back strong enough to make him move two steps backward. Your foot stung like hitting a fucking wall, but Logan just smiled. The grimace dark with a hint of surprise and determination. Like your move just made it all more interesting for him. His head still lowered, he run his tongue over his teeth and chuckled. You’ve tried to charge again, stroking blows and using your advantage of being more flexible and agile. Unfortunately with no success because he dodge them all. Just like he could have sensed your movement before the punch even hit. Quickly enough he had you in a headlock, standing behind you.
“You lost, princess.” He whispered, grinning proudly. 
Before you were able to answer you felt that familiar wave of power flowing through you. His dogtags were pressed against the back of your neck which activated the part of mutation you couldn’t control. 
Images from his life passed in front of your eyes. Him talking with some military officer, how he got his claws and all adamantium in his body. The following events: the farm and older marriage that helped him and got killed, discovering the truth about the whole intrigue he got involved into, the fight side by side with his brother and how he lost his memory. But more importantly, all his pain and anger. It all lasted only a couple of seconds but the intensity of it made you squirm, tears falling down your cheeks. Now you understood the reason why your foot hurt after kicking him. This guy had freaking metal instead of bones inside his body. 
The connection broke with him letting you go, stepping back like he just got burned. 
“I-I’m sorry…” You’ve coughed out, looking at him with glassy eyes. Pure fear on your face while apologizing for something you couldn’t even understand. But the only thing you’ve been met with was anger. The realization hit you instantly. You haven’t only relieved the memories from dogtags, but at the same time also linked with Logan himself. The emotions of a man whose mind had been invaded without any consent. You fucked up, because the man who stood in front of you wasn’t just a fighter anymore. It was so much more. 
The dark expression of a monster who’s been set free off the leash gave you enough reason to genuinely believe you not gonna get out of it alive. 
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Logan’s head was on fire. Burning and stinging like he just got put a red metal inside of it. He felt like a part of his brain was cut out and squeezed into a really tight spot. For a few seconds his mind wasn’t his own. 
He didn’t give a fuck if you were a woman anymore. 
“Who the fuck are you?” His voice was a mere whisper. Warning of what to come clear. The next moment he pinned you down to the floor, knee securing that you won’t be able to move and his big hand on your neck suffocating you. If it was up to him, he would’ve ripped the truth out of you right there and then. But unfortunately he couldn’t. You two still had an audience. “That’s what gonna happen now, you hear me?” The small nod of your head was enough for him to continue. “You gonna pat out, leave the bar and wait for me outside. And you better pray for me to find you there, we clear?” He whispered through his teeth and you couldn’t have done anything else than to obey his orders. “Good bitch.” 
All things that happened after this were just a blur for him. How the guy cheered the crowd, you running out, him grabbing his bag and storming out of the place accompanied by the yells for him to come back. It didn’t matter, he didn’t give a single fuck. He will never come back here anyway. Not after what you’ve done. 
“At least you’re obedient or scared enough to listen orders. Get in the fucking car.” You were dragged to the truck. Logan opened the door for you to get in but you doubted it was an act of politeness. Probably he would’ve thrown you in if you would’ve fought him. After making sure you won’t try anything, he walked over and started the car. 
“Where are we going?” You’ve asked after some time in a way of complete silence. 
“Not your fucking problem.” It was his. He couldn’t stay there, not after what happened in the cage. Logan should’ve left a long time ago but your little show was the last push he needed. Now his only purpose being to get the hell out of this area as far as possible and press you enough to start talking. “What the hell was that, hm?” 
“What was what? I don’t know-“ 
“Stop with the bullshit now, princess, or I’m gonna make you.” Logan reached for the glove box to get his cigar but the movement was so sudden that you squirmed away. He gave you a glance and saw the fear in your pale face. Traces of tears still visible on the red cheeks from the cold as you’d waited for him. Fuck, maybe he was too harsh with you. You were still young and innocent, clearly not used to the angry and dark light of man who was yelling at you. “Listen, bub, you damn well know what I’m talking about. You’ve been inside of my head. How?” His tone more gentle but still demanding. 
“I don’t know…” 
“You don’t know or you don’t care?” He lightened the cigar. “Who are you?” 
“I’m Y/n.” You answered, less scared now he’d changed the tone. “I’m like you.” 
“Trust me, princess, you are nothing like me.” 
“You’re a mutant.” He gave you a quick side look but stayed silent. “The claws you’ve scared that guy with… the way you’ve won all your fights. When they come out… does it hurt?” 
“Every time.” 
“I’m a mutant too.” 
“And you can what? Fuck with people brains without asking?” Logan was still pissed but tried to somehow stay civil not to scare you again. Seeing how you shivered something in him broke a bit. Damn he ordered you to wait for him in the freezing cold temperature with no coat… He put the heating on. “Put your hands on the heater.” He tried to move them for you, but you once again retreated. “I’m not gonna hurt you, princess.” 
Not anymore. Not when he calmed down a bit. After a while when you felt warmth spread through, you decided to get back to your conversation. 
“I’m an empath. Can feel people's emotions by touching them. Sometimes influence them if I’m willing to.” Or at least that what you’ve already known you could do and more importantly, how. 
“So what, you can say when someone’s happy?” 
“More or less. Can say and feel it. Mirror the exact amount of it. Happiness, anger… pain.” It got you curious what he had said about the claws… living in constant pain…
Logan didn’t say anything back so you’ve stayed in silence again. 
“The Wolverine… you’ve chosen it.” You looked at his dogtags but he quickly hid them under his shirt. Then he realized how it wasn’t even a question. 
“How do you know?” Logan edged again. He couldn’t recall the exact situation himself, only shreds of it in his nightmares, so how the fuck would you know. 
“I-I…” 
“You what, princes?” The grip on a wheel tightened. 
“I’ve seen it… the moment you’ve asked to make them.” 
“What?” The car stopped immediately, he facing you as if he had misheard you. 
“Sometimes I can see the fragments of people’s past connected with objects… When we were close, I-“ 
“Have you seen anything else? Before it all happened?” 
“No…”
“Are you fucking sure?” Months of searching, praying for any sort of clue just to find nothing. And now he discovered that the one person who could bring it all together was sitting in his car. He couldn’t let it go. Couldn’t let you go. 
“I swear, Logan!” You cried, tired of his questioning. 
“How do you know my name?” 
“I know a person who knows you. Who can help you.” Well Charles told you that this guy wasn’t very fond of him, but since Logan lost his memory then it was no harm to try. 
“How?” He was getting frustrated by how this was the only word he has been repeating since the beginning of it all. 
“He’s the principal of the school I’ve attended.” 
“A school?” 
“Place for people like us. Mutants. He’s a telepath and one of the smartest people I know. If anyone will be able to help you, it’s gonna be him. But you need to get with me there to let him try.” 
Logan was considering his options. It could easily be a trap. Not the first one he had stepped in. But your heartbeat and how genuine you’ve sounded… he doubted you were trying to fool him. 
“I’ve seen you checking me out today.” The sudden change of topic got you off guard. But he had to revert his mind to something else. Destress. And the fact he was sitting in one car with an innocent little thing like you who had been wet just because of his naked torso hours ago? He won’t give up his luck. “Never seen a man’s chest before, sweetheart?” His eyes were dark again, this time not because of rage but desire. “You had been clenching your goddamn legs like you could’ve come just by the sight of it.” 
He was able to smell you. The scent of your arousal hidden under these jeans of yours. He could bet that your panties had a wet patch on them. His hand moved to your thigh, thumb caressing small circles inside of it. 
“It’s okay, princess, I don’t blame you. A sweet innocent thing like you craves to be taken care of, is it right?” 
“L-Logan-“ Your quiet moan only proved him right. 
“Shh, it’s alright, darlin’ let me do it. Let me take care of you.” 
His skilled fingers opened your zipper and helped you get out of your pants, just to trail the pad of them on the wet spot. 
“Fuck, princess you’re soaking. Can I take them off?” Logan asked but your nod made him chuckle. “Words, Y/n.” 
“Y-yes.” 
He quickly got to work, showing your panties down and throwing them somewhere in the back of the car. When he brought his fingers back on your cunt, teasing your clit, you tried to close your legs but his big hands stopped you.
“None of that, doll. Keep them nice and open for me like a good girl.” He rubbed tight slow circles around it which made you squirm and close your eyes. “That’s it, relax for me, baby.” Next second his fingers found their way into his mouth and helped smiled teasingly. “So sweet. Best I’ve ever tasted.” And without any warning he put one of it in your cunt, making you scream. “So fucking tight. Can’t even take one. You’re a virgin, princess?” 
You tried to move your head, too shy to even look at him, but his other hand cupped your jaw, forcing you to face him. 
“Eyes on me and answer, Y/n.” 
“Y-yes.” 
“An innocent little girl you are. Saving yourself for me.” Another finger joined the first one, moving deep in and out of you, stretching your walls so you would be able to take him. Him being knuckle deep made you drool, eyes rolled to the back of your head, trembling because of too much pleasure. But then started an attack on your clit with his thumb and you were completely gone. 
“Logan!” You screamed, overstimulated already. “Too much!” 
A smug smirk tugs at the corner of his lips, eyes half-hooded. "Two fingers is too much?" he says, almost sounding surprised. "Come on, doll, be a big girl. You could fight me but can’t take two fucking fingers?” He mocked you. 
You're gasping for air, chest heaving. His thick fingers pump in and out of you, pussy frothing all over them. 
"T-They're so big," you whine. 
Hearing your raspy, lewd voice causes his cock to throb. He chuckles, kissing your neck, inhaling your scent. Shit, Logan was so sure that the second he will bury his dick in you, he will never get over you. Never let you go. 
"You know what I think? I think you can handle one more. Just to get you starched and nicely prepared for my dick, darlin’.” 
The thought of not one, not two, but three of his huge fingers has your pussy clench uncontrollably. That weird feeling in your stomach forming, the one that you so well know from all the lonely nights when you had your own hand deep in your panties. The second he forced the third one made you cum harder than ever before. You shudder, biting down on your lip as you feel the wetness all around your legs and Logan’s hand. Fuck, something was definitely wrong, you only hoped that he didn't catch that. Yet the warm liquid is coating his wrist and upper arm, all the way to his elbow. 
“Fuck, did you know you can make a little mess like this, love?” He says, gesturing with his head towards his arm. He pulls his fingers out and you groan audibly at the loss, your hold clenched around nothing. “Your virgin pussy already missing me like a cheap slut, Y/n.” Seeing your face all red and how shy you became, Logan opened his pants and loved them with his boxers, showing you his already fully hard length. He quickly brought you to sit on his laps, swinging your ass back and forth just to torture your puffy clit even more. “But it’s okay, princess. That’s what we want. I need you nice and wet, okay?” 
“Logan…” You choked out because of his actions and he kissed your lips just to shut you up. No matter how  much he loved your little cute whines, he needed you as aroused as possible to make you take his big size. 
“Shit, I hope I'm the first one who kissed you too. Too sweet and innocent to share.” His lips left the trail of kisses down your neck, sucking and biting. Wanting to mark you any way possible. 
“Shit, Logan, please…” You moaned, your mind fully clouded with need by this point. 
He took off your shirt, unhooking your bra and fuck him if it wasn’t the best sight he could’ve imagined. Big breasts that were perfect for his huge hands to play with as he wished. The vision of you bouncing on his dick with them in front of his face gonna be the image of what he will jerk off every time from now on. 
“You’re gorgeous, love. Can’t get enough of you.” His skilled tongue sucked and licked your nipple while one of his hands paid attention to the other one, which made you arch your back. 
You weren't sure anymore if you wanted him to stop or get closer. 
“You ready, princess?” 
Logan asked and it got you back to your right mind. You were naked in the car of a guy who you were supposed to take to the mansion as your mission. A man you’ve known for not even two freaking days and Scott could be here in any second. 
“Logan, wait!” He looked at you confused. Worried that he had done something wrong. “My brother gonna be furious-“ 
It only made him laugh. You are a damn innocent one truly. 
“I don’t fucking care.” 
And with that he lowered you slowly on his cock, your scream echoed all over the truck. You have no control of how vocal you became, pain mixing with the pleasure. The thought of how much effort he put into preparing you for it… you considered yourself lucky for him being so thoughtful. 
“It’s okay, princess, I got you. You are doing a good job. Such a good pussy for me. I got you, Y/n.” 
Logan gave you some time to adjust to his size, knowing that for most of his partners it was a lot to take, let alone for you. 
“Y-you can move.” You whimpered, putting your head on his shoulder. 
“You sure, darlin’?” Your nod was the last sign of consent he needed to move you up and down his length. He was doing all the work, gripping your ass but still he left some sort of control for you to take over in case of feeling any sort of discomfort. But fast enough your body forgot about the pain of sudden intrusion, instead sinking in the spiral of pure pleasure and ecstasy.  You being a moaning mess, squeezing him as a vice. “Fuck, you’re so tight. Never letting off this cunt ever again. Shit!” He groaned when you clenched uncontrollably. 
When you got more confident and started moving at your own pace, his hands move to your breast again, playing with them and paying attention as being hypnotized by them. His face deepened between them, earning you another low groan murmur.
You two were so focused on your pleasure that you didn't realize when the weather outside of the car changed. Instead of a clear sky, there was a little snow storm. Just the loud sound of falling tree on the mask got you out of your trans. 
“Fuck!” You screamed, frightened of what happened. 
And the moment you turned back to see what was wrong, your heart sank. Not so far from the car two people were standing and looking at the whole scene. As one of them started walking closer to your door, you quickly got off Logan’s member, looking for your underwear but it was nowhere to be found. You opted for putting on your jeans and when you’ve desperately searched for your top, the leather jacket was handed over. 
“Cover yourself, princess.” Logan’s tone has been definitely too calm considering how cooked you were. 
“Scott gonna kill us.” Though you weren’t sure who first, you because of loosing your virginity the second you got off his radar with a guy who you’ve meant to recruit, or Logan for fucking his little sister.
“Who’s Scott?” A confusion in his voice could be cute if not for your executioner being just two steps from the door. 
“He’s my-“ But then the door opened and you just sighed, pointing at Scott. “Him. Logan, this is my brother Scott.” You turned to face your sibling, forcing yourself to smile innocently. “Hi Scotty, how nice of you-“ 
“Out. Of. The fucking car. Now.” He ordered you, pure fury in his eyes, his voice dangerously heavy. “And you asshole… you better pray that Professor gets you before I will.” 
Well, this definitely will complicate the atmosphere in the team in the future… 
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▏A/n: Okay, so this specific mutation and character's background (as Scott being her older brother) gonna be also part of the bigger fic that I'm currently working on. I don't know yet if this shot will be a part of their story (Logan and that oc) so that's why I'm posting it here now. Still I would be grateful if you guys wouldn't use that characters specifics in your stories <3
▏Also I just adore the thought of Scott being the protective older brother and it being the reason why his and Logan's relations are so tensed later.
▏If you wanna join my Logan's fics taglist check this post.
▏Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! Sof
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@california-boys-and-sun @r-oseie
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karinamay · 3 days ago
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pathos - the wrap up post
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If you see this and you haven't read chapter 23 AKA the epilogue, I highly advice doing that first (here) and returning later if you are interested ♥️
Pathos at times felt almost like an elaborate art project rather than just a story. It consumed my mind for the past three months, and it will stay like that a while longer most likely.
Under the cut you can basically find a collection of playlists, moodboards, parts of my planning. A look into the making of the story, really. Also a tiny sneak peak into some bonus content I have planned? Maybe?
First things first: ✨the playlists✨
This is the playlist with all the program music: pathos programs This is a playlist for Luchiara vibes: you and me (me and you) This is a (cursed) playlist for Zallario vibes: it's all he has This is a playlist made by @queen-of-seventeen for Lillario in pathos specifically: Promise? I Promise
The breakdown of which program music goes with which person/pair can be found in the monster file below.
Click here for the✨Art Gallery✨ (This is still insane guys I can't thank you enough.)
As a treat: ✨Bonus content sneak peak✨
I have three oneshots lined up as bonus content, but there may be more. I have at this point turned pathos into the first part of a series on Ao3 so if you're interested you can subscribe to the series for when I write more "crows on ice". With that, titles of oneshots coming up:
when you came home with me
what a difference a year makes
earn it
That day I spent making everyone's ✨imaginary instagrams✨ instead of writing a single word:
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(No, Viago would not have an instagram, I will die on that hill.)
Speaking of ✨Livia Arainai✨
The absolutely outstanding Livia Arainai is a character who belongs to @queen-of-seventeen, who was kind enough to trust me with her (and Illario) for the purpose of this fic. If you want to read more about "Lillario" I highly encourage giving I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight a read.
Finally, for ✨a dive into my psyche✨
This "document" includes the details of the program music, and a little peak at part of my planning process for the competition in pathos, as some of you have noted you'd find that interesting to so. (Definitely not all of it. You don't need to see my 20 page planning doc.)
Anyway, that's all for now, I guess. I never expected pathos to have more than three readers when I started it. It was just a super niche little modern AU that excited me and two friends. Watching it grow into something people were just as excited (and maybe a bit insane) about as I still am myself, was incredibly special. Seeing art and music being created inspired by my writing is something I can still barely wrap my head around. So if you're still reading this all the way to the end with me, know that you are part of what makes this story so special for me. It's been an absolute pleasure.
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iridescentmirrorsgenshin · 3 days ago
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Thank you so much for all the love you give these two! You really understand them and that makes me so happy. I think Alhaitham's kindness is such an overlooked trait because he seems aloof and only rational, but in reality this man just wants people to do what makes them happy, took in Kaveh and cares about the education of children especially (the way he enrolled Paimon? This guy would honestly be such a great father). It makes me sad when players dismiss him as an asshole or a redflag. While of course he has his kinda manipulative side to get what he wants, it never harms anyone who's not deserving of it and he has a big heart in the end. So thank you for seeing that!!
Hiya! Thank you so much for your ask! I’m really glad you enjoy my blog! These two have taken over my mind entirely so I’m really happy to have such a welcoming place to share my thoughts <3
Alhaitham’s kindness is something that is so special to me, you raise really crucial points!! I think that Alhaitham’s philosophy of egoism could be one of the reasons he often gets misconstrued, since the ‘self’ is prioritised above others, but this isn’t because he holds himself on a pedestal, as his story quest specifically highlights, rather it’s because he sees there’s a clear limit to how much a person can do when compromising themselves for others (or placing the opinions of others over oneself)
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I think another reason why Alhaitham’s kindness can be overshadowed is because of Kaveh’s evident concern of others, and since the two fell out because of their vastly different ways when dealing with people, it can be construed that Alhaitham simply doesn’t care about others when comparing him with Kaveh, who so explicitly does. Viewing alhaitham as strictly rational in comparison to kaveh’s abundant empathy is misunderstanding Alhaitham’s character -  as kaveh states that any impression of alhaitham being strictly logical is incorrect
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Just because their approaches differ, it doesn’t mean that Alhaitham doesn’t care about people. As you say, Alhaitham actually wants people to be free to choose their own paths, really he wants people to live how they want, which is laid out multiple times in his character stories, and explicitly mentioned in his teapot companion dialogue
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I really like this detail in his past birthday letters of Alhaitham’s interest in the education of others, like with Isak and now more extensively with Paimon, I think it encapsulates Alhaitham’s care for others
Alhaitham’s manipulation tactics when it comes to social interaction can be a joy to witness at times, especially with kaveh when he deflects the topic from himself ahahah but this is also an aspect of his personal philosophy, where rules can be subverted by challenging the language that set them, and yet it’s clear that he enjoys interacting with kaveh, as he goes out of his way to secure these interactions :’)
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Alhaitham’s role in the archon quest as a strategist has definitely raised people’s wariness of him (such as in candace’s voicelines), but as alhaitham has no interest in power, and saw only harm in the upheaval of Sumeru’s rules, he sought to overturn the plan of the sages and to free nahida. Whilst he claims his personal reason for doing so was to protect his own way of life, the happiness elicited from others is also something he appreciates <3
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he's just such a well written character, i'm glad people love this guy <3333
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minas-linkverse · 3 days ago
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Can I ask abt commentary for "Tipping" and "Guard at the gate" from the rabbit roadtrip arc? Some of the funniest moments from my favorite arc (So far!!)
Alright! Let's goo! I'll analyze tipping in this post, and make another for guard at the gate :]
Director's commentary: Tipping Full update <-
I'm gonna start by highlighting a visual storytelling tool that often goes unnoticed because when it's done well you don't pay attention to it 🙌
Before the roadtrip started, I tried to figure out where in the map of the game they would start at and where they'd end. I specifically went for something with a fairly clear direction. In this case from left to right.
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Then when illustrating the roadtrip, I tried to have Legend and Ravio facing to the direction of where they're -> -> going as often as possible. This was to create a consistent feeling of the duo progressing on their journey. This way if you're a fan of ALBW you can tell from the environment how they've progressed, and if you're not aware of Lorule's geography, you can still get a strong sense of them traveling.
A lot of visual media plays with the directions of where characters face and what direction they may exit or enter a scene from, so I highly rec keeping an eye out for it if you don't already. It's such an easy to miss tool but also SO powerful. If a comic's flow feels off it is often due to the characters flipping around unexpectedly.
...Anyway with that self indulgent ramble about my special interest out of the way, back to the comic--
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This update is the first interaction we see of Legend and Ravio post-bunny drama, and although it is largely used to establish Ravio's banishment and to do a funny goof, my main goal was to establish the dynamic these two would have for the next leg-- Hehe-- Of the arc, AND a spot to grow from in the long term future of the comic.
Before this the two's interactions have only been negative and highly dramatic, so establishing a sort of "normal" for them felt very necessary. Of course in this update only Ravio is the butt of the joke, but in later updates such as this one, we see that it turns mutual over time. Basically: this update is their first baby steps in getting along... Despite how it seems.
...
Anyway I'll talk more about the decision to include Ravio being banished (for a short time) in other analysis, especially ones that include Hilda, so... That's really all I had to say about this one.
However, I will now post some of my favourite expressions from the update 💛
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Ps. It was fun to draw Thieves' town as a more lively and bright location. The fact that the blacksmith's wife has a stand there is a hint about the growing economy and peace of Lorule :]
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herefortheships · 3 months ago
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I have a long af post in my drafts, a rambling essay I haven't finished writing about Beetlebabes and purity culture now vs the 80s, 90s, and 2000s.
I also have another post where I'm putting together all the romance beats in Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (following the Romancing the Beat romance structure beat sheet).
And finally I also have two more Beetlejuice posts I haven't finished, one about Betelgeuse's role in the first film vs the second, and one is just a response to another post I never finished typing because I started it days ago in the morning and I had to leave so I couldn't finish it, and then I lost my thread of thoughts, so maybe I won't finish that one. Maybe lol. It was an interesting post about Lydia I wanted to add my thoughts to.
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arovalentines · 2 months ago
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time to make your choice only you can be the one
#undescribed#bonk.png#ggg#great god grove#great god grove spoilers#ggg spoilers#<- bc of king n hand gesturing stuff for the au this one gets the spoiler tag#caption is a line from legend of everfree from eg movie of the same name bc its now linked to ggg for me bc of brainrot#first au stuff i dont like have anything really planned out n also dont really plan on doing anything with this beyond doodles#settled on inspekta being a horse bc i want him capochin patty n king to all be earth ponies bc of like permanent having it ingrained from#being an mlp fan as a kid that earth ponies are seen as less special bc they cant use magic or fly n that fits for story similarities#bc inspekta n capochin hating on patty for projection reasons AND inspekta's replacement anxiety n envy of king who in the au#is the only other earth pony lined up to become an alicorn (bc again being specifically an fim fan since i was a kid ingrained in with fanon#that ponies that become alicorns are almost exclusively pegasus or unicorn bc of earth ponies not having as clear of a connection to magic)#in my mind patty is the main character like the bizzyboys are also main characters but its like how the mane six are the main six but#twilight is the MAIN main character its like that n then godpoke is her sidekick (like spike ig but like mysterious stranger style <- idk#what i mean by this) she gets to be the protag bc the type of character godpoke is in the game n how im fitting them to be in the au doesnt#really work for a protag role while patty can be more readily slotted into mlp protag shes the only bizzyboy who cares about solving in the#game (as shown in hobbyhoo) n i like her so she gets to be the protag v-v inspekta is still doing the whole like shit from the game just in#a different way bc of mlp related restrictions n tone differences. the episode where luna goes to nightmare night after being freshly reform#ed walked so milldread section could run however cobigail's deal does run closer to that episode that to the game counterpart but like witho#ut cob having been banished for a thousand years theres no rift in the au bc its. mlp so sort of vague direction is related to the tree of#harmony n like maybe thats how inspekta powers up for the two parter transformation. a thought i had for a workaround for how inspekta keeps#king isolated was maybe turning king to stone n hiding her in plain sight but while that would slide in mlp (they turn a child to stone in t#he series finale apparently??) it leaves a bad taste in my mouth from the ggg angle so probably gonna do something else#art comments both inspekta n cobigail's pony names are taken from ponies i already had inspekta's comes from a different mlpied thing#n cobigail's comes from a fankid (spelled like kandi corn tho bc fankid's a rave girlie) the rest of the gods get to keep their names aside#from maybe bauhauzzo (whos role is undecided) huzzle n click clack arent ponies bc i felt it suited them more huzzle gets to be discordesc#bc i think its fun if like this versions god of chaos wasnt evil BUT that angle is used as slander against huzzle by inspekta#n click clack's a breezy bc small n bratty (we will be ignoring that breezies are mortal if i remember right bc thats not relevant)
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edwinisms · 7 months ago
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see I need ghost clothes to have properties more or less like regular clothes because wearing someone else’s jacket or shirt is one of the most important expressions of affection in existence and yes basically what I’m saying is i wanna see charles give edwin his jacket for one reason or another and see edwin get all flustered and giddy about it
#the staple of all my high school romances (all like. two or three of them)#but on a more domestic level too….i love the trope of one partner wearing the other’s ill-fitting t-shirt around the house because#it’s comfy and they like feeling embraced in a way by the perosn they love#grahhhhhh I’m weak and cliche i know i know#but yeah the jacket thing…….im imagining like. something happens that leaves edwin hurt and exhausted on the ground and charles rushes over#to check if he’s okay and to help him up. and in doing so he drapes his signature jacket over edwin’s shoulders#and yeah ghosts can’t get cold. but edwin doesn’t say that out loud because he’s too busy being all 💕😳💕. similarly he forgets about being#hurt and can only think about how charles’ jacket feels on him and how everyone can see this mark of affection on him and. and.#yeah#i remember one of my favorite things about (stealing) wearing my ex crushes and boyfriend’s jackets was feeling like. everyone can see#that I’m his. and he likes me. and that we’re Something. I’m Special to him#which is so teenager of me but I’m gonna be honest i doubt anything’s changed and I’m almost 24#I just haven’t felt like that in a long time. man i miss that feeling#but yeah edwin. being as jealous as he is and as up front about people knowing that charles comes first and they’re ‘Best Friends’ and all#i imagine he’d be the type to be a bit (not negatively) possessive and to love that little assertion of. yes. look. I’m his favorite.#we have something special. he loves me. specifically.#same reason i think he’d ACT annoyed at getting hickeys he can’t totally hide but really would kind of love the feeling of being marked#like that. it’s Evidence. he likes everyone knowing charles is his and vice versa.#I think i broke myself#rambling#payneland#dead boy detectives
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my-thoughts-and-junk · 3 months ago
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hate when i see a youtube video that's like 'analyzing why [thing] is bad!' and you watch the video and they just say nothing for twenty minutes
#random thoughts#watched a video on why a specific character was poor representation for survivors of assault#and it was such a nothing burger of a video#'this character is bad because children might see them and think their behavior is okay' okay?#i learned how to block out memories from finn adventure time but that doesn't mean memory suppression shouldn't be addressed in media#plus hazbin hotel. i'm talking about angel dust btw if that wasn't blaringly obvious. is an adult cartoon. for adults#adult cartoons shouldn't have to restrict their subject matter because kids could see it#and angel dust being a male queer SA victim using hypersexuality as a coping mechanism could be good!#and the fact he hits on other people despite it making them uncomfortable isn't exactly a problem a la his character?#it could be a control thing. i used to do something similar (pushing other people's boundaries and complaining when they pushed back)#because it made me feel some kind of control over my life#it could start off as a really shitty joke and then grow into 'oh god is that why he does that??'#but anyway their second main point was that the songs were bad? and that poison being an upbeat song makes it bad#like despite listing many other songs which are upbeat with heavy lyrics. but somehow poison is the exception because it's a cartoon?#like again that could be a character thing. angel dust using obfuscation as a coping mechanism to distract himself from his shitty life.#。・゚゚・the lyrics are upbeat to distract you from how dead i feel inside・゚゚・。#and their reading of the second song seemed really mean-spirited?#like as 'everyone has problems so you're not special because you're a whiny baby' rather than 'you're not as alone as you think you are'#and like if op wanted to just complain about a show they watched then yeah go off i do that all the time#but don't parade it as character analysis???#and they say 'oh reading it as a feelgood you're not alone message doesn't work because these characters' struggles are not equal'#but like. sometimes rape needs to feel like it's not some special trauma. it's not unique and you're not uniquely fucked up for it#two characters' traumas don't need to be directly comparable for them to bond!!!#and im not like. defending hazbin hotel btw. never seen it not going to see it no thanks#i'm just complaining about a mediocre youtube video that i'm going to forget about in a week#god i hate that brand of youtube video. where they just complain about things without going into depth about why they're bad#especially if their complaints are shallow and don't have to do with like. the actual structure of a character or story#like it's so easy to say 'this character is bad because theyre a predatory stereotype' but like. go into some depth at least#i think i hate these videos so much because they're fueled purely by hate. no love for the source material or even a desire to learn#or a love for storytelling even
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liuisi · 15 days ago
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anyone else completely disillusioned with buying new clothes
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sysig · 3 months ago
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UI Special Feature! (Patreon)
#Doodles#Ghostkinz#Ukadevlog#The UI bug returns and this time I can do something about it!!#I want so many balloons.... You don't understand I /need/ So Many Balloons..........#And also ''balloons'' haha - things that look like menus but aren't#I'm already up to uhhh one main talky balloon and a menu balloon and a special text balloon and an ''alert'' balloon that I don't like lol#Needs some modifying needs something more something specific to it#And then there's the submenus planned and the not-menus - haven't Reallyyy started anything for the Arcade yet so that's a question mark#What I'm saying it the Balloon is planned to be like - half the Ghost lol#The way balloons and the Ghost talk to each other is really cool!! The customization and utility of menu options Doing Things#It's so cool...#Anyway the point is - it's called the WShop and not the GShop that was a mistake on my part lol#I mean you use Kinzcash at the WShop but the W stands for Kinzcash?? Is it short for Webkinzcash???? I refuse#I will not call it the Ghostkinzcash Shop and have the player buy things with Ghostkinzcash that's dumb I'm keeping the W for Kinzcash#I mean it's for recognizability. That's why. Lol#Although I say that but I'm pulling most heavily from the veryyyy early WShop look! From when it was pink rather than blue#Which is doubly confusing because the Kinzstyle Outlet is also blue but like all the way including the awning - it's fine don't worry#Greyscale here makes that not a factor it's all good the important part is the shape#I do wish it'd format better in multiples of 4 or 8 but I guess 6 is okay... It's between the two I want but that's alright I guess#I really am instantly enamoured by collisions - I wondered for a while if Balloons could have collisions but even without them I have ideas#I may or may not have designed a few elements on the assumption that I could add a collision so I mean...But it'll be fine otherwise too lol#The Home and Curio Shop ''menus'' are definitely something I'm looking forward to - animations planned too :D#All hopefully adding up to a cohesive whole ♪
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ratatatastic · 6 months ago
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"And Lundy, talk about all the different Finns on this team: one of them a good friend of yours, Eetu Luostarinen got married pretty quickly right after the Cup got done. How did that party compare to the Cup parties? You guys just kept the action going it feels like!" "Yeah, I mean, it was awesome to see one of my best friends get married and be a part of it! But it got a little tight with the time since the season went so far—he actually missed his bachelor party but I think he's pretty happy with the parade and the parties we had in Florida so I don't think he minded that too much... but it was awesome to be a part of his wedding and see all his friends and family celebrating; that was a special moment as well."
Territory Talk | 8.26.24 (x)
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amelikos · 2 months ago
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Spinel and Agate key frame.
#two gorgeous people together.. what could go wrong.#they are both so pretty though.. they could be a power couple in other circumstances. maybe w#interesting choice of line here too#spinel saying he'll be the one to reach rakua with gibeon (ep 75)#spinel is very intriguing.. hard to grasp. at first it felt like he was the one with the most flimsy loyalty out of the group#but now.. it really feels like he has the strongest “attachment” to gibeon#devoted to him specifically in a way the others aren't? (not counting amethio)#i don't understand what he is thinking. but seeing that his involvement with amethio's family grows stronger#it really feels to me that he is jealous of amethio for being special to gibeon because he is his grandson#like he wants that special treatment or affection to himself? idk.. was he an orphan picked up by gibeon or something#spinel's beef with ame feels too personal. like his existence slights him.. what's going on. i hope we have focus on them together soon#agate.. she remains an enigma#thinking about how her and spinel are using each other for their own gain as of now.#but it feels like one of them is bound to stab the other in the back eventually.#i do like that they acknowledge each other's smarts and abilities#agate came off as having family issues to me. but i wonder if she does#and what is she referring to when she says some things are better left unknown?#i like how this specific duo contrasts onyx/sango#the latter being genuinely sweet and they allow themselves to be kinda vulnerable around each other#even if they aren't completely honest still.. but i think they care about each other a lot and they are growing closer#anyway. i wonder if they will post a frame of onyx and sango eventually.#opening notes
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pumpkinrootbeer · 2 months ago
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I hate the fixation part of anxiety disorders, especially when it is something that in no real world will ever materially affect me in any meaningful way bc what do you mean I have spent the better part of three hours so anxious im nauseous over a hockey player *potentially* not resigning with a team. I have real boy problems too and my brain chooses this to get so fixated on I'm almost crying over it. I WANT TO BE NORMAL!!!!
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thrilling-oneway · 1 year ago
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i don't remember if i ever shared my vbs one. wtv
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victory-cookies · 9 months ago
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god I’m so torn. I have a few things I really buy rn but realistically I don’t think I can afford all of them. So I’m trying to weigh what I should let myself but bc I haven’t bought myself anything nice in a while
#I want to preorder the taz gn so that I can get the preorder keychain#and I previously preordered the exclusive special edition of the book of bill#but turns out it didn’t charge me when I ordered it like half a year ago and instead it charges me when it ships (in like two weeks)#so that’s a sudden $60 payment I need to decide if I want to do#bc I did not put the money away when I originally ordered it#because I thought it charged my card once I placed the order and that was it#so I’m trying to decide if I should cancel that#and then the Pokémon centre just released the kanto starters as Saiko soda plushes and I’m in love#I’d kill for the charmander and bulbasaur#and then I’m going to a concert next week which. while I think my leftover birthday money should pay for the hotel and stuff#I really like buying band tees so that I have something from the experience#but god knows that’ll be like $50#so I’m trying to decide which of these to go for#they’re all kinda time sensitive#two bc they’re preorders and the plushes bc I think they’re gonna sell out#and the tshirt is obviously from a specific event so that’s gotta be then#the other thing is while I’m planning on using my birthday money#that money is from my grandparents who (while that have told me that my presents from them are money and said how much they’re giving me)#have not actually. given me the money#and I don’t wanna be pushy but it’s also been a month 😭 and I’m gonna have to reach out to them and be like ‘please e-transfer me#I have to pay off my credit card please god you promised’. like I feel like an ass but I’d also like to be able to use my present#anyway. I’ve picked up a couple extra shifts so I could probably justify two#but not all four#and I’m trying to figure out what I’d regret more#both books I could get at a later date but I’d really like the keychain and I always preorder the taz gns bc they mean a lot to me#and while I could defo get the book of bill cheaper it won’t be the special edition and idk if I’d regret giving that up#bc I was really excited about that#and then idk. obv the concert tee is a one time deal and I might regret not keeping up my plan to be a band tee collector#they’re also so expensive and even if I like the band. idk. I wonder if it’s worth it#but also if I’ll regret it
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lesbiansanemi · 10 months ago
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WARNING FOR ANIMAL DEATH/MUTILATION IN THE TAGS
I think I’ve figured out why it’s the stuff with my cats that gets me the most viscerally upset when it comes to my roommate and I think I need to tell him why that is… we had a talk and he apologized for a lot of stuff but I just feel like I need to explain why I react so intensely to him hating my cats/wanting me to get rid of them
#like there’s the obvious things I’ve said before that ANY pet owner would feel the same about obvious#but like. okay I love cats. I’ve loved cats my WHOLE life#not just cats but animals in general#animals were baby’s first special interest#and I grew up on a farm and I had usually at least 8 pets at a time growing up#that I got money for by doing odd jobs and you know as a child you can spend all your money on your hobbies#and I love animals so I had pets#specifically I always had at least 3-4 cars#*cats#my mom’s first husband hated cats… fucking DESPISED them#and he talked about hating them/getting rid of them all the time#and. well. when I ever did anything to really piss him off#(which you know as a nine year old could be something as simple as breathing too loudly or some shit)#he would kill them#that man killed probably like 20 cats#cuz even after I was old enough to process ‘don’t get more cats bad things will happen to them’#my mom would bring home cats cuz she ALSO loved and wanted cats#even when I would beg her not to because I knew they were going to die#she never cared because in that moment she wanted cats#and obviously this was awful and damaging#and now that I live on my own with my two cats who are my BABIES that I love and cherish#my roommate talking about hating them and wanting them gone….#yeah it’s uh. um. hitting some really specific nerves#obviously I do not think he would EVER EVER do something like that#because you know. he’s not an insane control freak who hates me and animals#it’s still hitting those nerves#and yeah I think I need to tell him that for us to start coming to an understanding#like i get you don’t LOVE my cats you don’t have to#but you can’t talk that way about them… or I’m going to get VERY upset and defensive#kaz rambles
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