#But that's one of those that I would say I ship now

[georgettekaplan]

Ooh, Ooh, I know this one! At least when it comes to books.

Now if you don't know me, I'm an author. I've written both action-adventure stories

and the more expected romance stuff. You know, office romance, age gaps, fake dating, that kinda stuff.

And I get the royalties every quarter.

The romance books do very well. It's been a few years, but I can still count on pretty good sales there.

The adventure books... they're alright. The word 'unspectacular' springs to mind. They're just not making love story numbers.

I don't want to get in trouble by sharing something that was said in confidence, but let's just say if I wanted to do a third Scissor Link book, it would probably be all systems go. If I wanted to do a fourth Easy Nevada... not so much.

Is it just that Scissor Link was written really well and Easy Nevada was an off-day for me? I don't know, maybe. I can tell you that Easy Nevada has gotten a response that, to me, says it is doing what it set out to do. If you like adventure stories, it'll do the job.

So I think the issue is just that, in the lesbian ecosystem, there are a lot more people who read romance novels than read adventures. They vote with their wallets and the votes are counted.

I'm not bitter. It's an insane privilege to be paid to write anything for a living. But I'll tell you, I pitched a lesbian superhero book--I figured Supergirl is a popular show, Supercorp is a popular ship, if we get ten percent of those fans to give this book a shot... nothing doing. And so that's that. You grow what you sow.

It's understandable that you want the lesbian heist movie or the lesbian space opera or the lesbian revenge thriller. That's what made me say "hmm, what if I just write my own story instead of waiting for the Tomb Raider series to be good again?"

But you have to show up on the ground floor. Take a chance on the lesbian zombie book. Show there's a market for stuff that's not the same old comfort food. Because right now, the publishers that take a risk are not being rewarded.

LESS movies about the lgbtq experience MORE movies about people who just happen to be lgbtq. is it really that hard to understand

[jambalaya-enthusiast]

hiii!! may i request for headcanons/ an imagine about the crew with a bubbly and cute crew member who playfully; innocently flirts with them? (preferably someone younger than the crew as well, but not minor 😀. say early 20s?) the crew member really is a solid team player and person, but they also just wanna see if they could get the other crew members flustered (and see if they have a chance with them 👀). hope this makes sense! thank you so much! ^^

Flustered;

Crew Members x A young! And incredibly flirty! Reader. [ Reader is not a minor just younger than the crew members]

warnings: slightly suggestive.

Captain Curly

God help this man. He is just trying to keep everyone on the ship happy and secure and was definitely not up for the challenge he was now facing.

A young intern probably like half his age is constantly on the prowl to catch this guy off guard.

He liked you very much already,due to how much of a breath of fresh air you were on that ship,always taking care of stuff. But this? Oh boy.

He's had a fair share of people try and flirt with him,to try and get into his pants,but with you? It's different,very different.

He just couldn't pin point as to what it was about you,the way your words would roll off your tongue like butter.

The way your voice was so sultry and raspy...or was it the way you looked at him that would make his blood run hot.

He was trying, trying so hard to control himself, he's the captain after all.

But lord knows,a man can only control his nerves so much.

Co-Pilot Jimmy

what. the. fuck. ?

no seriously,what the actual fuck? he had no clue in the fucking world as to why someone as fucking drop-dead gorgeous as you was hitting on HIM of all people?

It didn't help how you were like SO YOUNG compared to him.

He thought you were probably joking around,teasing him. To make him feel like shit. And he started to almost resent you for it.

But by god- can someone seriously be THIS PERSISTENT with a joke???

He was on fucking edge all the time,because he simply, couldn't think straight whenever you would hit on him.

A part of him just wanted to snap and makeout with you in an instant,but he was just holding it together,for the sake of who knows what.

But patience always runs out, doesn't it?

Nurse, Anya

This poor,poor girl.

She already was stressed due to how things were going on.

she couldn't handle a young intern, who also happened to be a bit too, attractive was hitting on her.

she got so flustered that you had to apologise on several occasions.

She admired how you were so efficient at your job,always making sure to get things done.

But she always stuttered whenever you would pull those one liners on her.

The nurse was falling,and she was falling hard.

Mechanic, Swansea

he isn't paid enough to deal with this shit.

sure,he appreciated how useful and competent you were compared to his other intern.

But was the price of your competency...uhh this?

Flirting with a guy who's old enough to be your dad?

He would just shrug all of your advances off,just shooing you away whenever you tried to pull any crap.

but he's also..just a guy,lord help him wanting to indulge in some good ol' flirting.

The old man is trying his best,he is.

Mechanic Intern, Daisuke

Is this his lucky day? Another intern,just a little younger than him,was hitting on him?

HE WAS ON ANOTHER PLANET. ( No pun intended )

He would get incredibly shy and flustered tho, he's not used to this.

It doesn't help just how pretty you are. He's not even used to talking to pretty people.

He was just trying to pull his big boy pants up and face you like a true man.

But he would always just melt away at your words.

He wants to ask you out so badddd but he's scared that you're just casually flirting with him.

Seems like you're gonna have to make the first move.

[dykedvonte]

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

[arsenicflame]

It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.

At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return. 

It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.

Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug. 

“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.

(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)

By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.

When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.

Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”

And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”

That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.

[userautumn]

i thought you would be happy with buck getting his oh moment and realizing his feelings for eddie but i guess you really were sucked into the bucktommy fanon created huh. Shame that you won't be able to enjoy canon buddie when it happens.

This is the only message I am going to answer about this specifically since I initially brought the topic up on my blog.

So, first of all, by definition, BuckTommy isn't fanon. Fanon is a ship or character that is completely generated by fandom. Buddie, for example, is fanon. Although they share a strong platonic bond, their relationship is not textually romantic. They do not kiss. They are not textually established romantic partners. Eddie said in the last episode that he is straight. So Buddie only exists within a fandom context. Conversely, BuckTommy is established as canon. Buck has touched mouths with that man on-screen. They were established as boyfriends and, now, ex-boyfriends. So it is, quite literally, impossible for BuckTommy to be fanon, even if fans do extrapolate, embellish, or reconstruct that relationship for their own pleasure. So, that's number one.

Number Two: According to this fandom, Buck and Eddie have had their oh moments a combined total of six times now at least (3x15, 3x03, 4x13, and 5x11, to name a few) and absolutely nothing concrete has come out of these events. The shooting is the closest we ever got, and that was four seasons ago. I don't begrudge anyone for reading that moment at the end of tonight's episode within a romantic Buddie context. Go absolutely nuts and have fun with it. But to me, that moment, such as it was, was more of the same - Buck or Eddie look at each other a certain way, or have evident (non-romantic) feelings related to the other, fandom loses their minds, they speculate, convince themselves they're right, nothing happens, rinse and repeat. I'm personally tired of the spin cycle.

I said I wanted strides toward Buddie canon to be made crystal clear and that's still true. You clearly see things differently (and that's alright), but outside the Buddie fanfiction hivemind, tonight's episode was not crystal clear. There was no discussion of Buck's feelings. He didn't vent them to Maddie or Bobby or Eddie himself. He didn't say, out loud, or indicate in any explicitly romantic way that he has feelings for Eddie. Buck having feelings about Eddie leaving is not the same as having feelings for him. They are best friends. They are family, actually. If Eddie leaves, Buck is losing the anchor to his support system and his (pseudo-)son. That's a big deal. That is an extraordinary weight to carry, especially on the heels of a significant breakup, and especially while dealing with abandonment issues. There was nothing romantic about that and, reducing that moment to a romantic reading, seems... odd. To me.

I'd like to think I'd still be able to enjoy Canon Buddie if it happens tbh. I actively write fic about those two in my spare time even though I keep my conversations about them to the DMs. But if I'm not able to enjoy it, it won't be because of the ship itself, it will be because I finally tired of the abject cruelty that's cropped up in this space. There's this unspoken rule in fandom that what happens during hiatus stays in hiatus, and we all just silently agree to move on from it when the show comes back. But I'm having a hard time with that this year because I've seen and experienced some absolutely insane things from this fandom the last few months that have stuck with me. So. Maybe I won't still enjoy it, but I hope I will.

I was really angry with the (non-Buddie related) content of this episode when you messaged me, so you probably thought or hoped I would bitch and curse you out, and we'd do this whole back and forth thing that would inevitably lead to you getting blocked. But I meant what I said - I have no interest in arguing with anyone about this show. We're not going to agree, and that's okay. I'm not your inspirational Buddie Warrior, and that's also okay. I have too much to deal with than to actively engage in internet beef. What is is what is, whether you or I or both or neither of us like it, and arguing about it isn't going to change it. So we might as will just learn to live with it and each other as best as we can.

I'm going to go watch TV now.

[buddiebeginz]

For everyone hoping and or expecting there to be something huge in the mid season finale on Thursday and who will feel let down and upset if there's not I wanted to point out some things.

First of all Tim just came back in s7 and it was a shortened season. I know we all had issues with how that season was handled but I also think Tim had a lot to figure out for having just come back to show. He was bringing 911 to a new network had only 10 eps to tell the entire seasons stories in. It was also a rather important season considering it was where they finally had Buck come out and where the pieces were finally being put into motion for Buddie to happen eventually (like in episode 704).

But I also think a lot of stuff Tim wanted to do in s7 he didn't get to and instead carried it over to s8 where he felt he had more time. The majority of 8a was spent closing out storylines that started in s7. What people have to realize is that a lot of this likely would have been the second half of season 7 had that been a full season. Now going into 8b I expect to see more focus put on Eddie's coming out and more movement towards Buddie happening.

None of this means that the mid season finale will necessarily be a huge ep or have a nde or have Eddie come out or Buddie kiss or anything like that. This ep may be pretty similar to the one we saw last week especially because like some have pointed out Tim and the others may have been expecting 809 to be the mid season finale not 808. And besides that 911's mid season finales have rarely been these huge events. Those were usually saved for other eps.

---------------------------------

S1 -

shortened season - no mid season finale

no real NDE's although you could say the plane disaster was one for Bobby

S2 -

210 - mid season finale - It's revealed that Chim's friend is Doug

*2b*

211/212/213 - Chim begins/ Doug attacks Chim and takes Maddie

217 - Shannon dies car accident

218 - Buck NDE truck bombing

S3 -

302/303 - Buck and Chris NDE tsunami

308 - Hen NDE car accident (a few eps before mid season finale)

Bobby radiation exposure 309 (one ep before mid season finale)

310 - mid season ep - Michael cancer diagnosis

*3b*

314 - dispatch center/Maddie held hostage

315 - Eddie NDE well

317 - Athena NDE r*pist

S4 -

shortened season because of Covid no mid season finale

405 - Buck NDE fire

409 - Albert NDE car accident

413/414 - Eddie NDE shooting

S5 -

506 - Buddie kidnapping

508 - Hospital (where David worked) fire

510 - mid season ep Eddie leaves the 118

*5b*

513 - Eddie breakdown

516 - dispatch fire

517 - Hen/Chim - NDE - jonah

S6 -

Mid season ep - Bobby's sponsor dying

*6b*

610/611 - Buck NDE lightning strike

618 - 118 NDE bridge collapse

S7 -

shortened season - no mid season finale

701-703 - Bathena NDE - cruise ship disaster

708-710 Bathena NDE - Cartel/Fire

S8 -

802/803 - Athena NDE plane emergency

805 - Denny NDE

---------------------------------

Looking at the way 911 has structured it's seasons in the past it's far more likely that if we're going to get a nde for Buddie or one of them we're going to get it later in the season and not at the mid season. We could get a more surprising moment like we've seen in the past like with Eddie leaving the 118 but like I said before I think it's highly probable that 808 wasn't meant to even be the season finale so a more shocking or surprising moments might not even be until 809 when the show comes back.

I just really think we all need to take a look how the show operates and prepare ourselves so we're not too let down. Also as much as I love coming up with theories and love listening to theories everyone else comes up with I feel like it's become a habit lately in our fandom for some people to get everyone excited and expecting certain things from the show. Then when the show doesn't deliver every single episode people are left feeling angry. This isn't just the fault of the people talking about their theories it's a fandom issue in general I think. I wish our fandom would just be more realistic going into each ep and not so quick to turn on the show if expectations aren't met immediately.

I 100% believe Eddie is going to come out and Buddie is happening. I've been watching the show for years and things have never been as close to Buddie canon as they are now but that doesn't mean it will happen instantly. Everything that's being shown and said (in interviews) is telling us that the show is playing the long game. We have to be patient and wait for them to get there, which I know can be really frustrating, trust me I've been waiting for Buddie's love story to be canon for what feels like forever. I think we will see more movement in Eddie and Buddie's story this season but maybe not this episode coming.

----

I also think it's important that we show our love for the show and the people who work on it more. I feel like a lot of the stuff I see out of our fandom lately is pretty negative. I'm not saying it's not warranted or that I don't do my own share too (I was talking just the other day on twitter about my issues with Athena's storylines) but I also can't help to think of how Oliver and Ryan and the others must feel. Imagine working really hard on something and then going online to see how the audience feels about it and the predominate reaction is about how awful the episode was. I definitely believe it's possible to love 911 (and any media really) and still be critical of it at times but I also think sometimes our fandom focuses too much on what we're not getting from the show and less on what we are.

We are incredibly lucky to have two amazing actors who put such love and care into playing Buck and Eddie and who have always been supportive of our ship. We're lucky that pretty much everyone involved with 911 (minus maybe KR) seems to be supportive of Buddie happening because trust me that's not common among a lot of other non canon queer ships. We're lucky that Buck has finally come out and that all signs are pointing towards Eddie coming out too. We're lucky that the show is even still on the air because it was seriously on the brink of being canceled before abc picked it up. If it had been not only would we have no chance of Buddie but Buck would never have come out and both men would have ended their run on the show with those lackluster partners. And speaking of lackluster partners we're lucky that Tim got rid of Tommy. I know he could have done it sooner but he also could have kept him around longer. I think some of you need to realize that making Buddie a reality is still a risk for the show and for abc. Having another main come out is still risky but they seem ready to take the risk.

Sorry this post got so long. I just had a lot of thoughts with the new ep coming and seeing everyone already prepared to be upset about it. Let's just go into this ep with limited expectations and be happy we get to go into a hiatus for the first time in a while without b/t being a thing. Thanks if you taken the time to read all of this. ❤️

[imawreck]

His

Pairing: Winter Soldier x Reader

Summary: You and Bucky broke up a few months ago against your wishes, and you’d been trying to move on. When Bucky sees you flirting with another member of the team, he leaves for the next mission to avoid getting in your way. Unfortunately, the mission goes bad, and Bucky isn’t himself when he comes back. He also has a lot to say…

Author’s Note: I realize that in most of my fics Thor is the other romantic interest/situationship, but you CANT tell me that man wouldn’t flirt up a storm with a beautiful woman any chance he got. Also, this is my first smutty fic so feedback and comments would be much appreciated! This is on the more explicit side, so please read with caution.

Warnings: Cursing, mentions self loathing/guilt (it’s Bucky, kinda normal), choking kink, Possessive!Winter Soldier, flashbacks, hair pulling, fingering, metal arm kink, dominant!winter soldier, probably some more but those are the big ones.

Word Count: 4,850

Breakups are ugly most of the time, and almost always one sided.

You and Bucky had been apart for at least three months. You’d stopped counting, wanting to forget it and focus on anything else. It was easier that way, to ignore the heartbreak and clutter up your life with other things to do.

Unfortunately, you still lived in the same tower on the same floor, right across from one another. He was constantly around, and no mattered how hard you tried, you just couldn’t avoid him.

It was hell.

And it was only hell because Bucky hardly gave you a good reason for the break up. Sure, you had your arguments. Mostly about his past and how much better he thought you deserved, to which you’d list all the reasons he was wrong. In reality, those weren’t really arguments. It was just Bucky having a low point, which you were more than willing to help him work through. Outside of those moments, you had felt that your relationship with Bucky was near perfect.

So when he had come back from a mission and broke up with you, his only reason being ‘I can’t be with you,’ it’d been a slap to the face. Like someone had shoved a knife in your heart and twisted.

The worst part was that he wouldn’t even allow you the chance to talk to him afterwards. Every time you were in the same room together alone, he’d find every reason not to speak with you.

So, you’d taken the hint and were now trying to figure out a way to move on.

That was made a little easier when a certain God of Thunder made his interest known to you. Thor was sweet, charming, and a little goofy. Not to mention handsome, with his blonde hair and sky blue eyes.

He’d made an effort to woo you not long after you’d parted from Bucky, and you’d informed him that the breakup was hard for you and that you couldn’t really do something new right now. Thor had been surprisingly understanding, and even took to just being friends quite well. Granted, he was still flirty, but he knew where you both stood and was always happy to lend an ear when you needed one.

He turned out to be just the friend you needed.

From the outside looking in, none of the others thought it was ‘just friends,’ especially when Thor would openly show his interest in you. Especially to a certain Super Soldier.

Bucky was painfully aware of what was going on between you and Thor even though he desperately tried not to be.

His super hearing picked up on the soft laughter you and the god would share, on the hushed whispers you’d exchange late over a mug of coffee when you thought everyone was asleep. His every fiber was attuned to you, and he couldn’t help but fixate on your presence.

You were like gravity to him, and he always found himself near you when he knew he should be as far as humanly possible. He saw the little looks you shared when Thor would compliment you, noticed your shy smile when the god would enter the room. He could tell that Thor was winning you over slowly but surely.

He couldn’t fucking stand it.

So it wasn’t a big surprise when he shipped off on the next mission possible.

You worried, your heart still set on loving him, but you tried to pay it little mind. And after a few days, it actually helped. You felt better, found yourself smiling more. You were beginning to move forward.

That was, until the jet was reported missing. Then Bucky was all anyone could talk about in the tower.

Thor tried his best to keep you in the dark about most of what was going on, and it wasn’t hard seeing as you were just a rather good strategist and not a serious Avenger. You were only really included in skimming over preplanned attacks and making sure they hadn’t missed anything critical.

But word still spread, and worry was ever present.

Needless to say, it was very strange when Mr. Stark called you into a private meeting with himself and two other of the elite team.

“Y/N,” He spoke softly in the kind of tone that lets you know that whatever he says next is going to ruin your whole week. “There’s a situation with Barnes.”

You frowned, eyebrows scrunching at him from where you sat at the rather empty end of the long black table. “I’m confused. Bucky and I broke up months ago. Why are you talking to me about it?”

Steve, who you’d befriended while dating his best pal, looked at you with poorly concealed pity from his seat next to Stark. “Because we know he still means a lot to you and that you’re our best hope in this situation.”

That didn’t make you feel better about whatever was going on at all. “What do you mean ‘this situation?’” You eyed them both, before dragging your eyes over to Doctor Banner who hadn’t done much more than stare at you with a concerned expression bordering on panic.

Stark pressed his fingers to his forehead, “Barnes got triggered on his mission and has infiltrated the tower. We have reason to believe he’s after you.”

You gaped at him. That didn’t make any sense. You weren’t important, at least not as important as one of The Avengers. “Me? Why me?”

“We’ve silently shut the building down and we’re working on evacuating the floors without anyone freaking out.” Tony went on, ignoring your questions, “He doesn’t know that we’re aware he’s here, and we’re trying to keep it that way.” Tony motioned towards a monitor, and the image of Bucky popped up on the screen.

Only he was in your room, and he was dragging his fingers over the picture of the two of you that was perched on the nightstand. They way his fingers smoothed over the glass, the slight pinch in his brows as if calculating instead of recalling. It was like he’d never seen it before in his life. Like he had no connection to the image of himself.

It was a picture he had taken, his arm extended and a smile on his face with your lips pressed to his cheek. You had meant to take it down and stuff it in the box under your bed with all the other memories you had hid from sight, but it was just too painful. You needed something to hold onto.

You watched through the screen as he moved around your room, taking note of certain things and taking careful precautions to ensure that anything he moved was set right back in place. It was eerie to watch a man who was once so comfortable in your space tread with so much hesitance. Like it was the first time he’d been in the space all over again.

“Y/N.” It was Steve’s gentle timbre that brought your attention away from the screen this time. He tried to smile, though it was clearly forced. “We need you to lure him down towards the lower levels. We have to get him to a room where we can better contain him. If he finds out we know he’s back and not… him, then he could snap.”

“You want to use me as bait? For the Winter Soldier?” You stared at them both with wide eyes, panic blooming in your chest. “This is insane!”

Steve sighed, “Y/N… Bucky told me about the incident that happened in the beginning of your relationship.”

Your attention zeroed in on the blonde’s words, your breath hitching.

“He told me what could’ve happened… and what didn’t.”

You walked down the corridor of the Stark tower office floor heading back towards your desk from a late night research meeting with a few of your coworkers. You had decided to stay later than the others so that you could collect and organize the information you needed for the meeting with Mr. Stark the following morning. It was very late, and you were tired, the heels you wore had begun to irritate the soles of your feet hours before.

You clutched the files you collected in your arms, heels clicking on the glossy floors and echoing into the dimly lit corridor. So dim that you didn't see the silhouette of the man standing just feet from you until it was too late.

You only saw a flash of silver before the door beside you was torn open and you were roughly shoved inside. Cleaning supplies clattered onto the floor, spilling liquids over your feet as you cried out. A hand clamped over your mouth, and your head hit the wall with a thunk.

Stormy blue eyes stared at you, cold and unfeeling. Eyes you had seen just days before smiling at you and filled with life.

Your lips moved to say his name against the cool metal of his hand, but his grip on your face was nearly bruising. You could only stare back in fear and attempt to press your body further from him.

He didn't speak, only stared at you and kicked the door to the closet shut.

Fear was a living thing in your stomach, writhing as his eyes snaked down to your red heels and back up again. His head tilted to the side, as if he was trying to remember something. But his eyes remained cold and unrelentingly empty. His flesh hand came up to press a finger threateningly to his lips.

‘Quiet.’

You weren't stupid enough to scream, not with the way he was looking at you, with how close he was. When he removed his hand, you did exactly as he wanted. Silence hung in the small closet, suffocating you. Would he kill you? What did he want? Why hadn't he killed you already?

The cool metal of his palm slipped further down, wrapping around your throat and pressing against your thundering pulse. Your head pounded along with it, and a foggy feeling settled over your mind.

But your lungs still filled with air, and you remained aware. The pressure of his hand was ever present, but it was light enough not to cause real damage... Almost like he didn't want to hurt you.

His tongue darted out to lick his lips, the movement catching your eyes. His body leaned forward, his nose pressing into your neck and his warm breath hitting your skin. Goosebumps rose in its wake, and that lick of fear heightened again. He was acting so strangely, and the longer it went on the more unsettling it was.

When he pulled away, there was a heat in his eyes that wasn’t there before. A hunger, and… and recognition.

“Hello, Beloved.”

“We know that he didn’t hurt you, and that he displayed… certain feelings towards you.” Steve’s voice brought you out of the memory, dragging you back to the reality at hand.

The one where he wants you to put yourself smack dab in the path of the Winter Soldier.

“You’re serious about this?” You blink up at him, trying to gauge if he was joking or not. Level headed as Steve was, you trusted him with your life. But this? This was terrifying and completely unexpected. Ridiculously dangerous.

“It’s the only nonviolent way we can think of. And we’re almost certain there’s no high risk for you.” Steve tried to give you a reassuring smile, tried to hide the hint of unease that shone in his tense shoulders.

“You’ve all lost your mind.” You laugh, sighing and raising your chin. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

Apparently, so had you.

You stared at the metal doors of the elevator, your heart pounding with each toll of the floors passing. This was probably—no, was— the riskiest thing you’d ever done in your life. You trusted Steve and Mr. Stark, but your brain was trained to find the flaws in plans like this. And so many things could go wrong.

“It’s okay, Y/N.” Steve said calmly into your ear, startling you. You’d forgotten they’d given you the earpiece. “I’ll be here the entire time. I’ll guide you through the compound and make sure you stay out of danger.”

You nodded, even though you weren’t sure if they could see you.

“Bucky is leaving your room. We’re going to drop you off in the commons area of your floor. All you have to do is make some noise and then head for the stairwell. Just listen to me, and I’ll get you through this.” Steve sounded so confident in your ear, but it did little to soothe the nerves.

The elevator leveled out, and the doors quietly opened. The large living room opened up before you, unnervingly bright and welcoming despite the danger you knew lurked just down the hall. You stepped out onto the carpet, walking towards the kitchen. Your palms sweat, heart pounding, as you made your way up to the cabinets.

You just had to make some noise. Easy, right?

But your body wouldn’t move.

“Y/N.” Steve’s voice called in your ear again, gently coaxing you from where he watched the cameras. “Make some noise, and then head for the stairs.”

You swallowed, nodding again, and reached with shaky hands towards the cabinet. You grabbed a bowl, and hesitantly set it down on the granite counter. The echoing pok of the ceramic felt too loud in your ears, like a gunshot.

“Good, now move quickly. He’s just down the hall headed your way.”

The words sent a chill down your spine… and something else followed. Something you’d never felt before.

You headed towards the stairs, but your feet felt like lead weights. Like you couldn’t move fast enough even though you knew you were going as fast as you could.

But you could hear the faintest scuff of boots coming behind you and the sound sent your heart into a frenzy.

You raced down the stairs, tripping a few times before righting yourself and continuing your decent down towards the lower levels. Your floor was four levels up from ground level, which meant you had six floors in total to descend before you could get to the containment floor.

Six flights of stairs being chased by The Winter Soldier. A superhuman man who was definitely faster than you, and probably wanted to do something terrible to you. Like a wolf hunting a sheep.

Oh God.

The thought only served to spur the panic rising in you. You kicked up your speed when the door slammed behind you, footsteps pounding after you as the dark silhouette of Bucky Barnes rounded the stairs two flights above.

He took the stairs four at a time, his long legs swallowing up the distance between you. The panic clawed its way up your throat in a strangled cry, and the sound just seemed to quicken his pace.

“I’m not fast enough!” You tried to keep your voice even, tried to keep it quiet in the echoing stairwell so that the soldier behind you would hear.

“You’re almost there, Y/N. Just keep up the pace. Two flights left and—“ but he didn’t get to finish his sentence.

You watched in shocked horror as Bucky’s figure leapt over the railing and plummeted towards the ground. He dropped several flights before his arm snapped out and wrapped around the railing. The sound of metal hitting metal rang out around you as the railing dipped under the crushing pressure.

He hauled himself back onto the stairs just before you. Those cold eyes found yours, dark hair framing sharp features, painting him into something primal. Something wild.

That feeling pounded through you again, skittering along your spine and raising the hairs on the back of your neck. You still couldn’t place it, not with him stepping towards you with a look that promised violence.

You heard Steve’s voice ordering something over the earpiece, but it was distant. It became clearer a moment later. “We’ve got a team heading in. Just… just hang in there.”

You swallowed, but your throat had gone dry in the presence of the assassin before you. His eyes held you in place as his towering form finally stopped a stair below you, leveling with you face to face. So close you could count the stitches in the Kevlar of his suit.

You felt your body shaking, heard your heart thundering in your ears as your chest rose and fell with each short breath you managed to drag into your lungs.

And he watched every move you made.

His head titled to the side exactly like it’d done the first time you’d been trapped with him. His gaze never left you, eyes wandering over your face and heaving chest before that faint look of recognition settled into those hollow eyes.

And then that heat you’d seen before consumed them.

He stepped forward, and you answered with a step back. For each one he took, you pedaled backwards until your body was plastered against the wall. When you tried to flee back up the stairs, his metal hand planted itself against the wall inches from your head.

You were utterly trapped.

Rough Russian left his lips in the softest whisper. The sound was the same as you’d heart him say before, though you didn’t understand it.

Not until now, as the earpiece Steve had given you translated his words as he spoke them.

“Hello again, Beloved.”

Those blue eyes bored into yours, as his other hand came up to brush your cheek with a gentleness you didn’t think he was capable of.

“He’s kept me from you for so long.” Bucky’s body leaned forward, caging you against the wall. His metal hand remained pressed against the wall beside you, and the other dragged across the skin of your neck and shoulder in an almost reverent manner.

Bucky’s— no, this wasn’t Bucky. This was the part of Bucky he kept farthest from you. This was a man known for cruel, unimaginable violence. An assassin known by reputation around the world by both hero and criminal alike and feared by all. This was the Winter Soldier.

Winters lips brushed your jaw, stubble tickling the column of your throat as his voice rumbled against your skin. “Kept you to himself. Never let me touch you. Worried I’d damage you, Beloved. Couldn’t see you needed me.”

His teeth nipped at your skin, and a shiver rolled down your spine in answer. That feeling tugged at your mind again, spurred by his words. But still, you couldn’t place it. Not with your mind consumed by his statements and barely contained yearning.

When his head lifted to find your eyes again, the fingers of his right hand tangled themselves in your hair and pulled hard enough to have your scalp stinging. His next words were guttural and biting, “And then he let you go.”

Winters grip loosened a bit, but his hold on your hair remained. “He pushed you away, and then that god tries to take you from me?” His eyes held you, demanding your utter attention as his head shook slowly, “You don’t belong to him.”

Tugging your lip between your teeth, you clenched your eyes shut. God, you wished Bucky would say that to you. Having Winter here saying these words with Bucky’s voice, Bucky’s face. Touching you with familiar hands…

Heat had begun to pool low in your belly.

The words were spoken in English. “Open your eyes.”

There was no room for objection in his voice, so you did as he said. With his jaw was set in an angry line, and those blue eyes boring into your soul, he leaned in closer. “He thinks that being with you is too dangerous, that you aren’t safe with… with us.”

“What?” Your heart hammered in your chest at his words. It was the first real reason as to why Bucky had broken up with you.

Those silvery blue eyes zeroed on your lips as he spoke again. “He thinks we can’t protect you, that I’ll hurt you. That somehow being further from you keeps you safe from what comes with being what we are.” His metal hand left the wall in favor of brushing over your lower lip and trailing the cool tips of his fingers down to the dip of your breasts and back up to the column of your throat. “I’d never hurt you, not the way he has. Not if you didn’t want it.”

“W-what do you mean?” You just knew he was picking up on how your heart beat harder as his fingers trailed over your skin. Or the way you kept shifting on your feet to stave off the heat thrumming in your veins with an all too familiar want blooming and begging for his hands to explore more.

The faintest hint of a smile graced his face as he gave your hair another gentle tug, then loosened his grip once more. “You like this. I’ve seen how you react with him. How you quietly treasure the marks he leaves on your skin even when he feels nothing but guilt.” That metal hand slipped over your throat again and pressed on your neck exactly as he’d done the first time you’d seen Winter. Your head spun at the pressure, but you could breathe easily under the cool press of his palm as he leaned in, lips brushing your ear as he whispered. “I see how badly you wish he’d touch you with this hand,” he squeezed your neck and loosened it quickly, “How badly you want those marks. How badly you need me.”

You had no words. Nothing to say as he wrung out the truth you’d thought was hidden from him— from Bucky.

Bucky was notorious for avoiding any situation that would make him use the metal arm. He would much rather let it hang there, or act as if he didn’t have it at all. That included when the two of you would get intimate. He never dared to bring it anywhere near you no matter how many times you’d reminded him it was fine, that you weren’t afraid of it. He outright refused to allow it to touch your delicate skin, to let such a catalyst for agony so close to something as precious as you.

Winter knew that you’d secretly craved to feel the cold metal in contrast to his warm skin when he held you. He knew that you would always find it more satisfying when Bucky would lose himself and get rough with you when things got heated. How his flesh hand would leave bruises on your thighs or hips to keep you steady as he thrust himself deeper.

Just the thought had you aching, and here was Bucky’s darker half offering you everything you’d ever wanted.

You were losing your fucking mind.

“You’re wrong,” you whispered, but the words were flimsy and meaningless. He knew the truth, but that didn’t mean you had to say it aloud.

His metal fingers dug into your jaw, his grip near bruising as he tilted your head up to level your eyes with his. “Don’t fucking lie to me, Dollface.” His lips were a hairs-width away, his warm breath fanning over your face.

The scent of him was intoxicating, muddling your mind even further with heady leather and metal invading your nose. The hint of that aftershave you’d missed so much since Bucky broke your heart.

Winter was tearing you apart at the seams.

“Please,” you whispered. Please what? You didn’t know. You could hardly think straight. That feeling was so strong, thrumming along with your pulse and the ache for something. Anything.

“Tell me I’m right.” He mumbled against your skin. Soft lips, a vast contrast to his rough demeanor, to the calloused hand that remained tangled in your hair, trailed down your cheek. “Tell me that you want me. Not the pathetic excuse for a god, or him. That you want me.”

His metal hand released your face, drifting over your neck and dragging over the left side of your chest. He circled once, thumbing over your nipple with a knowing look filled with every sinful promise known to man.

And then he went lower and lower…

His fingers caught the waistband of your leggings, the chill of his fingers raised goosebumps across your stomach, only serving to worsen that burning need.

“Doll,” a command and a question wrapped in one word.

All you had to do was admit your darkest most guarded secret. Confess, and he would give you what you wanted most. What Bucky was too afraid to do.

You opened your mouth, the words tumbling out as he gave your hair another tug.

“I want you.”

That smirk grew just a fraction more, his fingers slipping past your waistband and toying with the hem of your panties.

Fuck, did you wish you’d gone commando today.

“Who am I?” He asked, teeth nipping down your neck hard enough to know they’d leave marks. “I want you to say it, Y/N.”

Those fingers slipped further, rolling over your aching clit in a teasing stroke before he pulled them away again.

If he wasn’t a literal assassin, you’d consider strangling him.

“For fucks sake,” you gripped his arm, your voice unfamiliar in your own ears, ragged and broken. “Winter, please.”

He didn’t waste time, deft, cool fingers dipping into your core with confidence. Soothing that aching heat.

Fuck.

His thumb circled slow as he pumped his fingers, his mouth leaving wet kisses along your jaw up to your lips where he paused long enough to catch a glimpse of your face. You knew you looked like an utter mess, but those blue eyes showed nothing but twisted delight. He leaned forward and tugged your bottom lip between his teeth, bitting hard enough to make you groan.

Winter’s answering grunt of approval urged you further towards the edge of oblivion those perfect metal fingers were working you towards.

God you were so close. Each movement, every touch and bruise he left on your skin pushing you closer and closer. Just a bit more, a fraction more and you’d—

His fingers wrenched away, gone in an instant.

Your eyes, closed from the pleasure just moments ago, snapped open just before the doors to the stairway above and below you burst open. Floods of agents filed through the doors, and a gun fired.

The sharp sound echoed in the confined space making you flinch. Winters back pressed you against the wall, a solid shield of muscle keeping you out of harms way.

Then the weight was too heavy. His body crushing you as he slumped toward the floor. You screamed, immediately thinking the worse as your eyes searched his form in a panic.

But you found no blood, thank God.

“He’s fine, Y/N.”

Steve’s hand on your shoulder had you flinching back, head snapping to his suit clad form. “The gun—“

“It’s just a tranq. I promise, Bucky will be fine.” His face was the picture of practiced reassurance.

A horde of agents rushed forward and cuffed Winters hands and dragged his unconscious body out of the stairwell and further towards the confinement room. Steve remained with you, his eyes flicking to your neck a few times and checking you over to make sure no serious damage had been done.

When you’d gotten yourself back to your room away from the prying eyes and the relentless questions, the reality of what had happened slammed into you.

You just let the Winter Soldier finger you in a fucking stairwell.

And you liked it.

Plunging your fingers into your hair, you took a shaky breath. What the fuck were you thinking? Had you lost your damn mind? Bucky broke up with you three months ago! You were done; over, moving on. He could remember this, for Christ sake! How would you explain it?

Panic writhed in your stomach, but so did the faint ache of need that reminded you of what had just happened mere minutes ago.

The feeling of his metal hand on your skin, the feeling of those fingers working you perfectly and the pressure of his bruising grip.

And that feeling that you couldn’t place.

But now you had a word for it.

From the thrum of your heart as he chased you down the stairs, the promise of violence and sinful pleasure in his eyes. The roughness of his actions…

It was the thrill.

You liked the chase. You liked how rough he was. The delicious blend of panic and pleasure.

And he’d been interrupted before you got the release you’d craved. That you needed.

Frustration boiled to the forefront of your mind, a dozen different strategies with it.

He’d made you confess your darkest secret only to leave you high and dry.

And damn him if he wasn’t going to finish what he started.

[scam-alerts]

🔎Scam Exam(ination)🔍

Seen as: I would like a commission of my son/pet... Scam Type: Commission Scam

Being open to commissions isn't uncommon if you're an artist.

You may often find yourself receiving messages from strangers looking to commission you for a picture of their OC or even their favorite ship.

But if you receive a message like this, you should be careful you don't fall into a scammers trap.

-----

How it starts:

it starts by receiving a message from another user requesting a commission. Again, typical common practice if you're an artist.

What they ask for at the start, is usually the first red flag.

Images provided by: (1)@neogandw, (2)@foggywiz4rd, (3-4)@maikaartwork

🚩Red flag's (part 1)🚩

I want you to draw my son/daughter.

I want you to draw my son/daughter's pet.

It's a blank blog with no posts/reblogs

It's a blog that's only a few days/week old.

While this request seems simple enough, this scam gets worse.

-----

An offer too good to refuse:

Now you may be thinking, 'surely this can't be bad or malicious, right?' They just want you to draw a picture of their child or their child's pet! And that's definitely what the scammer wants you to think. Which is what brings us to the next set of red flags:

Left image from @neogandw, right image from @maikaartwork

🚩Red flag's (part 2)🚩

'I will pay you $200-$500+' (an amount way way beyond your normal asking price.)

'I just want the best you can do.' (They don't know how to answer questions related to details such as pose, background, style, objects you want included, etc.)

'It's for their birthday/holiday' - ' I want it done as soon as possible.' (They will push that you do this with a sense of urgency so you don't ask questions.)

-----

The Catch:

Now, if you haven't reported and blocked them by now, and you agree to take this persons commission, this is where the catch to this scam comes into play.

If you tell the scammer to send you an invoice, they will refuse.

If you tell them to use your preferred method, they will refuse.

Those methods just 'wont/don't work', you see.

What they really want, is your PayPal email and your name.

From here they will say that they sent you payment, and that you should check your email. Or that 'they got an email and something went wrong' and that you should check your email.

And here is where the scam comes to ahead.

They will send you a fake email meant to look like it came from PayPal that looks like the ones shown below:

Second image provided by @badlibbing -----

What this means / How this works:

In the case of screenshot one (provided by @neogandw) the 'MONALISA' is the person who was trying to commission them.

The payment hasn't 'went through', and the e-mail (from 'fake PayPal') is saying that they, the artist, needs to send $200 to 'MONALISA' to 'expand the limit' of their account to get the $500 that is owed to them.

Think about this for a second.

If your account is limited, why would you need to send another PayPal user money to 'unlock' your account or 'expand it', and not just contact PayPal itself to try and resolve that issue...?

There are also a handful of red flags in this email alone.

🚩Red flag's (part 3)🚩

The sender address is not from an official paypal.com address, but instead a gmail.com address. This means that this came from a person, not a company.

The formatting. Let's be frank, no official email from PayPal will ever look like this.

The spelling/grammar issues are everywhere.

Weird url's at the bottom of the email. (I removed them for safety reasons)

Additionally: You may also find or see links in this emails instructing you to 'go here' to unlock your account. These are phishing (wikipedia) links that they will use to steal your PayPal login information. Never click links in emails asking you to 'fix an issue' with your account unless you can verify who the sender is.

If you send these people your money, you will get blocked and never see them again. That's just how this scam goes...

If you'd like another variation of this scam which talks about money wiring, you can check out @maikaartwork's version by clicking here!

-----

Final thoughts:

If you fall for a scam like this, thankfully there still might be hope.

Contact PayPal and explain what happened in detail. Show them every shred of evidence that you have showing that you were scammed including the name of who scammed you, and the email that sent you the scam, and who you wound up sending the money to.

If you use the messaging system that uses the AI chat bot, ask it repeatedly to 'speak to a real person' until you get sent to a live agent. (this is stupidly frustrating but sadly it's what you have to do.)

And remember, take screenshots and report these users to the websites they are running these scams on. If they DM you on tumblr? Report the DM. If they do it on insta, bsky, twitter or even discord?

Make sure you report them there too.

ALSO: Beware of recovery scammers. This is anyone coming into your DM's telling you they can 'help you get your money back' after you made a post talking about how you got scammed. These scammers are just looking for a quick buck.

Here's a post about ethical hackers (aka recovery scammers)

Other helpful guides on spotting scams. (by @kyra45)

[aromantic-ace]

Humans Are Weird/SpaceOrc: Nervous Laugh.

This was 100% already done but idc i wanna participate. So, you know the times where you laught or sing in the totally wrong moment (for exemple when someone get hurt or you get scared). Well i just love to think of how much freaked out the aliens would be upon seeing that.

All lights were off on the ship, only the emergency lights were barely functionning and won't be for long thank to the ship reactor being unable to provide much power. The Expedition Cruiser wasn't a war vessel despite its name, sure it had some Guns and turrets but those were mostly fitted for clearing out debris and asteroide, not to resist an ambuch from an unknown specie. But the worst part wasn't the attack from those other being, no it was that they were INSIDE the ship now, and killing the crew in an extremely cruel and sadistical way but Lieutenant Grex knew that already, he saw it happen and so did the Human, and honestly he was worried for her. Human Leila wasn't on soldier duty, sure she had some basic weapon training and understanding but she was a scientist, she wasn't fit to fight and the situation couldnt be worse.

The both of them were roaming the corridor with caution until it happened, out of the blue Human Leila started singing calmy with some sort of maniacal laugh about the fact that they were "going to diiiie" or that she was "not liking this and going to shoot anything that move". Lt. Grex was used to civils freaking out but this ? If anything that was bloodlust, he already knew the fact that humans were great soldier and could be absolutely terrifying in fights, but he though that was only applying to soldiers ! As a training to do some kind of psychological warfare ! He certainly did not expect the civil to start singing about what atrocities she was going to do to those "weird ass lizards".

Suddenly one of the invaders showed up, probably tracking the song of her voice and before he could even react Human Leila sniped the lizardman accross the corridor in almost total darkness, a mix of fear and respect came in Lt. Grex mind, she was only armed with a civil laser pistol, how did she managed to do that ? With such aim !? Memories of the time where Human Leila had one of those "Human Rages" rushed in his mind, she wasn't someone to mess with. And then she started to laugh even more ! Saying how "scared she was" and how "in fact those guys are ass". Poor Grex wasn't understanding a single things, all that he knew is that he now have a bloodthirsty human going around doing better job than the elite force.

The light went back on, and through the speakers news of the enemy being defeated was announced, and during the little time between the first altercation and that Human Leila killed four other invador, laughing and laughing sometime even kicking the bodies telling them how much she got scared.. but was she tho ? She didn't miss a single shot and always killed them in one or two charges, Lt. Grex couldn't even do anything before they were dead and he took the opportunity of this mess ending to ask her.

Grex: What was that Human Leila ? Why didn't you specify you had those skills ?

Leila: Specify what ? It's the second time in my life i'm using a laser weapon.

Grex: This ! All this ! The laugh, the weird "singing" as you call it ! We only ever saw those in elite humans troops and now you take on five of those beasts !?

Leila: What do you mean "only elite troops" that's called fear ! And you probably have heard of adrenaline right ? Surely you have that's like the most known things about us.

Grex: Just a drug don't cause that ! You- you were acting as a bloodiust soldier going on a rampage !

Leila: Well that's because i was affraid, people tend to laugh in these situation even if its not funny, that's called nervous laught and we all have that.

Grex: YOU ALL BECOME BLOODTHIRSTY KILLING MACHINE BECAUSE YOU ARE AFFRAID !?

Leila: Yup !

And without a word she left, going back to her quarter to clean the mess, with a flabagasted Lieutenant in the corridor that was rethinking a lot of things about humans, and doing a little promise to himself to never ever scare Human Leila, under any condition. He will have to inform the higher ups of her abilities. "Deathworlder" he muttered to himself going back to check the mess and the casuality.

[magebastard]

a rarer height

wc: 1019

ship: loua ‘rook’ mercar x lucanis dellamorte

rating: t

notes: datv spoilers! plotless mush! this ran away from me and i want it OUT of my head! prob takes place after the romance lock-in point or a time shortly after.

—

It’s foolish.

She should leave their cozy kitchen in their cozy nook of their deceptively cozy dining hall.

Instead, Loua brings a scalding cup of bitter, black coffee to her lips and leans incorrigibly against the counter. She watches his hands while he works. He hums as he cooks for them all. She wonders if it’s truly an idle habit or if he’s keeping himself awake.

Before this mess began, she remembers her blood racing and heart warming to the sight of deadly competence. Her fellow Shadows exuding the strength of righteous purpose. Combat prowess, stratagem, kindness and authority. She had a type, damn it.

The hearth fire casts the chamber in a golden glow. No one else is in this hall and Lucanis is quietly humming and murmuring measurements to himself.

“If I wanted to poison you, I assure you I’d already have done so,” he’d teased with one of those angular, jabbing smiles on his face. And, well, he could have. It wouldn’t even be difficult. She’d drink poison from the cups of his rough, quick hands if he kept his eyes on hers. He wouldn’t even have to try. What a dissatisfying kill for an adept assassin.

It’s confusing more than it is anything else. Lucanis is competent, authoritative and kind. And her heart did respond to those things. A torchlight in her chest, bright and undeniable.

Though it’s negligible beside the inferno made of him when they are at rest.

The trouble is (and the thrill is) that he’s shy. Not traditionally—no stammering, no fumbling. It’s sweeter. Reserved. When Loua freely pours her affection out for him, he stares for just a moment. At first, she worried she’d made him uncomfortable. And wouldn’t that be an awkward card, in the already nightmarish hand of circumstance?

They’d been walking, leisurely strolling through the canal district. Meeting Illario for coffee in Treviso, before it all went sour. Killing time had become novel enough to delight and Loua felt drunk with it. A violet hue from the city’s mage lights colored the night and the cut of his cheeks handsomely.

“It’s a beautiful city.” she’d said.

“It is.” he’d replied so fondly.

“It certainly suits you.”

Loua remembers the breath where she thought she’d fucked up immeasurably. Lucanis had stared straight ahead for a long beat. She would have bet that he’d kindly rebuff her for her boldness. His jaw worked over and over as if he were chewing on his words. She almost backpedaled to free him from having to say anything at all.

But the seismic upward quirk of his lips and the mirth in his tired, dark eyes stilled something in her, in turn. It wasn’t fair. She had to be clever and charming to disarm him and all he had to do was look. All the odds in the Thedas were stacked against her. The blighted, hateful non-gods must be cackling to themselves at the weakness of the fool sent to slay them.

Things had only gotten more pathetic from there.

But Lucanis began relenting in inches, showing his own attachment to her in turn.

Zara was dead and Illario would face retribution, soon. Loua had her own ideas but there was no chance she’d voice them to him, now. Especially not now.

Loua watches him with a dry throat and starving eyes. It all goes beyond the stir of attraction or even that benign affection. How could a killers’ hands be the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen? How could she be so entirely arrested by a look? How could her heart crack open in her chest now, when it needs to be firmer—sharper than it has ever been?

She‘s never been in love. Is it supposed to ache like this?

“You must know I can sense you staring. You’re confusing Spite.”

It’s the most carefree thing he’s said since their prison break from the Ossuary in his mind. And void, isn’t that a relief? She had a needling worry that they’d have to start over, now that he had a more comfortable respite from Spite’s intervention.

To see him loose and light with rolled up sleeves and a serene look on his face stayed her fears. Quite a few of them, actually.

“You’re such a sap,” Neve had said, in his minds eye. Perhaps she should feel chided. But with the world ending and when moments like this are so fleeting and fractured, balancing on a knifes’ edge? If holding on with both hands makes her a sap, then that is a fine thing to be.

Loua tilts her head and knows she’s not imagining the way his eyes follow hers with an assassins’ focus. Nor that confounding quirk of a smile.

“The way you cook reminds me of my momae.” Oh, she hadn’t meant to say that. That wasn’t very romantic at all. Why did she say that?

But the quirk stretches to a full, attentive beam and the particulars of her fumbling didn’t matter then. “Go on,” he says. She could melt.

“She loved it—having a real kitchen. My mothers grew up largely traveling and settling in the woods. My momae loved to cook. I don’t think she ever got over the joy of having a full kitchen. You just seem—well, I don’t know. Content, maybe? It’s nice.” Loua shrugs, reaching for a casual gesture to release the anxious, cloying weight in her chest. “Seeing you this way, I mean. It’s always nice.” It’s remarkable. I’ve watched you sail with spectral wings across battlegrounds, landing precise and graceful strikes through our enemies hearts with the fervor and care of an artist—but nothing, nothing has ever stolen breath from me the way that watching you methodically chop vegetables with a smile has.

Lucanis sets down the knife. Rests his hands on the countertop as if he were bracing himself. His head tilts now and she follows the movement carefully with her eyes. They stand there, like fools, grinning at each other in the hearth light.

“I would not say content, just yet. We have quite a to-do list, yes? But there is—“ his jaw works as he searches for the words she hangs on. “There is no small relief in feeling at home somewhere. With someone, perhaps.”

The weight; the anxious, vibrating stone in her chest opens like a yawning primrose. Something tender and raw and bruise-violet hangs between them. It’s not tension, it’s reaching. Loua burns for him and she cannot remember a time she wanted so deeply, something to keep.

The world is burning. Now is not the time for this. She sips the coffee he’s made for her. It’s warm in her hands.

“Yes,” she says. Too quiet, too soft. “I know exactly what you mean.”

[lovelyshu]

HOW CAN I WRITE LOVE INTO REALITY? — with jeongin

description. who knew that a study session could lead to love confessions.

tags. gn!reader, best friends!reader and jeongin, not proofread, short(?)

comments. hii, had this idea from these pictures so uhhh, enjoy??

You and Jeongin have been friend for years now. Ever since middle school, you two never separated from each other.

And some people even went to the point of shipping you two. I mean, he's always looking for you and vice versa. It's not hard to think that you're dating him.

Well, maybe you even enjoyed it.

Not that anyone else needs to know that. Especially Jeongin.

The more you spent time with him, more those feelings would get harder and harder to ignore.

And lucky for you, today was going to be one of your studies sessions with him.

You were waiting for him to arrive, already reading some of the content so you have an idea on what to do.

Not even a few moments later, you heard knocking, and you felt a bit embarrassed from how quick you got up to open the door, even daring to stop in front of it so it didn't sound like you were desperate for him to come.

I mean, you obviously weren't.

“Hey, come in.”

There wasn't a need for extended or formal greetings anymore, so you usually just say the same thing and he nods with a smile.

You two walked to your room, which was a bit messier than usual from all the intense studying from the last days.

“Please excuse the mess, I have been focusing too much on these tests and a clean room isn't my top priority right now.”

The only reason you stopped talking was because you heard him laugh, already making himself comfortable on your bed.

“It's fine. You don't need to die from nervousness. We're friends, in case you've forgotten.”

You know he meant that in a way that you're not strangers.

But his words still made you sad for a moment, that you sure as hell hoped he didn't noticed.

“Yeah yeah, let's just start this please. I feel like I'm going to fail even my name on this subject.”

That only made him laugh even more, which eventually, made you laugh as well.

After an hour or two studying non stop, you started to get tired. Which Jeongin noticed right away.

“Let's have a break. You look like you're going to sleep on top of those books.” — he was trying to make a joke, but what he said was true. You were looking very tired.

“No, let's continue. I think I'm starting to understand this.”

He raised an eyebrow at you, and before your brain could process it, Jeongin was standing right in front of you.

“There's no 'no'. We're taking a break now.”

There was no reason to try to protest, your body might be okay, but your mind was basically shutting itself down and refusing to read anything.

Jeongin sat down next to you, hesitantly moving your head to his shoulder.

Which surprised you, and honestly, even himself.

It's not like you haven't been in this position before, but this time it felt different. It felt more..

Intimate.

And you're pretty sure he thinks the same, since he's been pretty quiet and that's a rare occurrence between you two.

The half awkward silence stayed for a little longer, until he poked your side, getting your attention.

Jeongin didn't say a word, only putting something on your lap and looking away.

You saw what he had handed you - a letter. Listen, you were by no means someone too delusional or anything, but you were almost sure this was a love letter.

Your eyes were focused solely on the paper, carefully opening it and slowly reading what was written.

With each word you felt your heart beating faster, a soft, but noticeable tint of red creeping on your cheeks.

You were about to say something, but Jeongin was faster.

“I know this isn't the best moment and all, but I'm not sure when will I have the courage to give this to you again.”

Looking at him, you couldn't help but smile. This was one of the rare moments where he was truly embarrassed and even flustered. Because of you, nonetheless.

“Before we do anything about this, just know that.. I love you too.”

Now, it was a shock he didn't broke his neck from how fast he turned around to face you.

You two stared at each other, not sure on what to do or what to say. Well, until you pulled him for a kiss.

It wasn't by any means a long kiss or anything, but it was enough to pass the message.

He smiled at you and you mirrored his smile, feeling zero interest in going back to study.

Wanting to only enjoy this moment.

[creatingblackcharacters]

Some of my thoughts for your conversation about inaction towards antiBlack/racist behavior in shared online spaces (particularly fandom).

1. "I dont see it / I dont go here" - this was my first thought/defensive reaction and in reading others responses I think its a shared one.

Tumblr is perhaps unique in how purposely you can shape your experience and limit what you interact with. Blocking someone just cause is fully acceptable and expected here.

So, when Ive seen depictions of 'Black' characters that made me go, "Mmm idk man" its been my policy to just block and move on. Less chance of seeing a racist in the tags I like in the future *shrug*

Now on other sites perhaps there is some consideration that could be given to not wanting to boost something racist via interaction...but that's not how Tumblr works. Furthermore your reminder that seeing things go unopposed is the problem hit me like a frying pan to the face. Because...yeah duh.

We know the 'social rules' of this platform, you report/block the porn bots, you dont spam tags for engagement (or report if you see it), add image descriptions, reblog things you like etc. Would it be so hard to leave a simple comment on the things you want to see be changed?

2. "What if I do it wrong/I dont know this fandom/Not my place to speak?" - I firmly believe the main reasons people dont meaningfully engage with posts here or on other platforms is two fold: Responses and Outting.

If you were to post a mild comment saying for example, "Hey, feels kinda weird how you're only talking about this Black character being violent in this show. Why dont you check out this blog post by CBC, a Black artist who really digs into this topic more?"

Now you are expected to 1. 'deal' with whatever that persons response is and 2. Anyone an see and respond to what you said.

I think we generally expect random stranger interactions on the Internet to be unpleasant but, like if we are putting the focus on caring about Black people in out spaces...shits already 'unpleasant' for them.

Its time to start firing fireworks off in our neighborhoods to keep the rents low so to speak. You, non-Black folk (i.e me), dont have to wage endless comment battles with someone who wont listen. Just stating what you are seeing is enough, its marking that post for other people coming along. Forcing the question, "Y'all are we cool with this?"

As for messing up/having a record of things you said someone else might take issue with later on. Yeah but thats already happening whenever you reblog anything.

If you actually spoke out of turn just say, "Im sorry thanks for letting me know" and move on with your life. Otherwise folks on here will actually harass you over your shipping preferences so your rolling those dice already. Why not do it for something better worth it?

3. A Note - Genuinely thank you for posing these thoughtful question and just honestly expressing your frustration/hurt. It helped me think more deeply about some old habits.

Thank you!

Hm. And you're welcome

[hyperions-light]

alright (more) serious version of the shitpost I made a few days ago

So like IF the Lighthouse turned into a huge confusing polycule, how would it happen

I feel like if you had a very flirtatious Rook they could definitely end up in some kind of situationship with everyone bc everyone is kind of in love with them… like even if you don’t flirt, those outings are all date-coded!! Taking a walk in the Necropolis gardens is literally what Emmrich tells Harding he would do on a date ! Taash is like repeatedly introducing you to their family!! These are dates

And then there’s Taash/Harding and Neve/Lucanis already… and I feel like Neve/Bellara is riiight there, just a little to the left of canon. Think we could get Lucanis/Davrin from drunk partying/suppressed aggression, and then just like… they keep going and don’t talk about it. Whatever! It’s fine! Feelings are for nerds!

I can actually see Davrin/Neve so easily too, like they play off each other so well, they can both be very funny/cynical, and Neve melts like butter when people are nice to her and Davrin is sooo nice. Also Neve loves Assan so he automatically gives her a trillion approval

Starts casual (stays casual?) Davrin/Taash. they’re blowing off steam ;)

Everybody loves Harding, yes? Did you see that coffee scene with her and Luca? Easy.

How are we involving Emmrich hmmmm… well I mean there’s also Emmrich/Strife to consider. He can just have more partners than everyone else, grandpa can get it

I think we get Davrin/Emmrich from single dad bonding, Emmrich/Bellara from nerd bonding and Emmrich/Lucanis from Spite really likes and trusts Emmrich actually

Also the number of times Taash says Neve is pretty… I think they could get there, I really do

And everyone is with Rook too, so now it’s a mess!! And Taash is like

Woah that is a lot of smells what is happening

So Neve is on the case! Track down the suspects! Interview everyone ! Make a clue board !

And then you end up with one of those color coded shipping charts people make sometimes

Emmrich would want to Talk about it. Bellara would be worried. Davrin and Taash would be externally fine and then freak out later. Harding is nervous but willing to work on it. Lucanis… Lucanis needs another coffee. Neve doesn’t think this is going to work out tbh and she’s upset but she doesn’t want to discourage anyone

So team meeting

And then Rook’s just like hey! We’re saving the world, guys! There’s no rules! We’re the improv squad; we should get to be happy! ✨

And everyone goes 😍😍 Rook 💕💕💕❤️

So it’s fine. Like they still have to talk and reassure and stuff but everyone trusts Rook so it’ll be fine

( nobody imagine the end of the game it’s all fine )

[kyeree]

i love ur room headcanons soo dearly and also ???? solbin apartment hcs ????? i am eyes-ing them sooo hard 👀👀👀

I was going to post these earlier but I spiraled thinking about their relationship and I'm constantly adding to it

ANYWAY

Why hello there young man! You want to be a wizard? No problem! Welcome to the launchpad academy! And guess what? Tuition free! Resources free! It's all free! Would you like to enroll? Great!

technically not free, by enrolling in the Mothership Launchpad Academy you are agreeing to work off the cost of your education post graduation in a position of employment at MotherShip

Congratulations on graduating! Here's your dead end job you agreed to! And here's your (temporarily) free accommodation!! How generous of us!

Your apartment is in a prime location! Close to the Mothership just in case we need you to cover shifts and so there's less of a chance you'll pass out in the street when we work the maximum legal amount of hours out of you

Now keep in mind that there are a lot of people working for Mothership and we want to keep as many of you as close as we can but you got one of our bigger apartments at a whopping 15m2!!

Why I'd say this apartment is so compact if some idiot tried to draw it they couldn't because everything is so overlapping :')

The bed is on a platform hung from the ceiling. Not a lot of headspace up there. Albins balding is caused by half stress, half whacking his head on the ceiling.

There's a little extra shelving up there and glow in the dark stickers hung to the ceiling.

He uses a stepped wardrobe to climb up to the bed

Oh no...there's just one bed

As much as I ship em Caldwell says Sol sleeps in the bathtub :( so that's canon

but I'm in charge now and I say on those cold winter nights he crawls in bed with Albin (hey if you don't ship it they work different hours they can snooze in bed at different times)

At the bottom of the stepped wardrobe there is just enough space for a desk that faces a window. The one Sol frequently jumps out of to go to work and who can blame him when you're on the hundredth and something floor; that's a lot of stairs and a busy elevator

Tiny bathroom by the entrance that somehow fits a tub in. Sink and toilet that's hidden behind the door when it opens.

The bathroom has a bunch of plants. Mostly plants that like damp climates because Sol sleeps in there and also likes it damp

Sol sometimes sleeps submerged in the water adding a few natural aromatics to the bath to help him sleep; like lavender. He learned the hard way he cannot add a bath bomb or bath salts.

Alternatively he sometimes sleeps in the tub with damp towels lining the bottom and as a blanket.

Sharing a wall with the bathroom is the kitchen. Tiny fridge under the counter. Two ring hob. Tiny oven and sink with some shelves above. Tiny everything.

And just in front the kitchen and beside that desk mentioned earlier there's a small kitchen booth.

And that's all the space they have!

Sol is so used to living in small places. First the shared dorm, tiny apartment then the tiny duck.

With the bed hanging from the ceiling Calder has to really crouch to fit in

Slightly crowded with magical artifacts that turned out to be junk from the fabricated adventures and the comics of their glory days.

Some they managed to sell to places like TGI Skydays for some extra gold. Because when some rent is being taken out of your wage you need extra cash sometimes for things like food

Sol's knitted a cozy for almost everything. Tea cozy, mug cozy, bowl cozy, even a toilet paper cozy

Sol has also knitted their Halloween costumes. They rarely get trick or treaters in the building but they always have a bowl of candy ready. Sol also likes to sit by the window and watch trick or treaters on the street and try to snipe candy from whoever answers the door to give out candy.

Sol has knitted so many holiday sweaters and Albin is too tired to care or refuse wearing them to work.

Albin does the shopping when coming home from his shift before the shops close and Sol cooks. He cooks just before Albin gets home and saves his portion for later. Albin then heats Sols food up before he heads out to his shift and before Sol comes home.

Albin also comes home with things he's stolen from the office. Enchanted stock, office supplies and mage hand is great for getting snacks out the vending machine.

Fortunately they don't have noisy neighbours because everyone is so tired when they get home to their apartments. But there's always drama happening. During the brief time Sol and Albin share at the apartment before one leaves for work they're sharing tea. What's the drama in Albins office. Who they saw leaving whose apartment when they headed out. The people arguing so loud Sol's team was called in due to the disturbance.

Albin secretly has frog merch. A keychain, a clip for his messenger bag. Just as a reminder of his best pal

Sol has a singular star keychain for Albin, cause it matches his cape and hat, and labels Albins lunches with star stickers.

These two nerds, mainly Sol, definitely scrapbook together. They've got one for all their glory days at the academy and one that only has two pages filled when they first moved in and were still excited. They'll fill it one day!

This is also how they determine who's stuff is who's. Frog mug is Sol's. Star mug is Albins. Towel with a embroidered frog. Star slippers. Frog lunchbox. Star coathook.

But it's pointless in the end when they just use each other's stuff. Maybe they just miss each other and want to use their mug and/or are too lazy to wash up their dirty mug in the sink. Who knows!

Sol has put up pictures on the wall of places he wants to go, adventures he wants to have. They have a jar of change their savings up to have a trip on their one rare day off

Sol is hopeful things will still change for the better. So hopeful that he buys things for the S-class apartment they don't have. But we'll have it some day and this pinball machine is on sale now!!!

The pinball machine is now their dining table. There are books under the front legs to level it out

Sol seems like a natural at making friends unlike Albin who's more aware of the growing rift between them from the lack of time they've spent together. Once they went on adventures everyday and had the same class schedule and now they only see each other for half an hour between shifts and on the rare days off

Albin knows Sol does a lot for him and he tries his best to find out what he can about the knights on his break to give Sol a headstart at a chance of promotion

I like to think they leave little things for each other on days they miss these 30 minutes between shifts. A note. A snack. A prank even.

Sharing a space with someone you barely see is lonely. Even seeing a mess left behind is something of a comforting reminder of their presence eases the loneliness.

They both know how much it means to leave something for the other. Because they're not alone. Never have been.

[the-music-maniac]

This is one that ended up way longer than I would've liked but the brainrot has reached concerning levels.

Brief mentions of sephgen, sephgeal, sephzack, multishipping, spoilers for crisis core, rebirth etc. etc.

I've begun realizing the longer I traverse the various pages of FF7 fanworks that when I say I ship Sefikura, the romantic/sexual aspects of it don't matter as much to me as the emotional catharsis of it. And I say this because I feel like sefikura is often used to explore one specific type of fantasy/smut/kink etc. There's a portion of people who like the ship because they like exploring how fucked up it is for post-nibelheim Seph to try to make Cloud into a puppet - this is usually (not always) accompanied by size difference kink, sub Cloud dom Seph, etc. And while I personally despise that characterization common in that interpretation of the ship, it's still valid, cause y'all should be able to explore your own fanfics however you want. An "Ew. Oh well, none of my business." kind of deal.

I would like to make it known though, that as a Sephiroth fan I kind of hate domroth. Block me if you must, we can just agree to disagree lol.

My interest in Sefikura stems mostly from Sephiroth. I'm gonna shamelessly admit here that while I love Cloud as a character, he doesn't intrigue me as much as Sephiroth does. And I know I'm biased cause he's my favourite, but I get easily stuck on characters who were abuse victims that became villains because they gave into their demons, characters who managed to stay kind, up until they were so beaten down they snapped, characters who I think have redemption potential, even if it wouldn't be easy to do. Which can be the case with Seph both pre- and post- Nibelheim.

Post-nibelheim is a LOT harder to write convincingly, seeing as how he actually did fuck up like. Everything. And his victims don't have to forgive him. Not Cloud either, even though I am writing a post about sefikura. The redemption is more about personal improvement, rather than forgiveness. But it's really interesting because a Sephiroth that even has a chance at redemption post insanity, is one who is a mix of before and after. He still has all that rage inside him from how he was treated by humanity, still has visions of annihilation and delusions of grandeur in his head, but he also remembers that he used to love, that he used to have companionship, scarce as it was, and cared for the well being of the soldiers he lead, etc. How does he get to that point in the first place, and how does he deal with it after? With the warring that is likely occurring from those two sides, the festering resentment of knowing he was given so much less than he should've been, knowing that he had a human mother, but since he IS closer in capability to a god than a human, does he think he's a monster because of his heritage still or because he gave in? Does it even matter at this point, what he is? And what will he do, now that he has a portion of his humanity back (however that occurred) and isn't just purely Jenova? How does he deal with knowing that even in the depths of insanity, he still just didn't want to be alone? And of course the turmoil on Cloud and Co's side, usually some flavour of, okay so repeatedly killing him isn't working, I'm tired of fighting him every couple of years, I still have the responsibility of making sure he doesn't fuck everything up again, and of course the hatred they understandably feel for the shit Sephiroth has done. And as Sephiroth kind of fights to recover some semblance of identity and understanding of himself (without destroying anything), watching that occur and knowing objectively that your enemy didn't deserve what he got when he was a child, that a part of what occurred was after he was pushed to that degree - even if you subjectively can't make yourself feel it at the beginning. And then as the story progresses and characters undergo development, Cloud likely wrestling with the fact that he actually is starting to understand Sephiroth's predicament, realizing Seph can be so very human at times. And dealing with the worst sin/betrayal of all, enjoying his company for his company's sake. A Sephiroth that gets through that and finds some semblance of contentment is meaningful because it would take a mind-boggling amount of hardship and work to get there. And tbh here's where the bias comes in - it's what I would say is a happy ending for everyone. I know people would disagree, a lot would say Cloud and Co getting rid of Seph is good riddance, why should he get a chance, why should they have to deal with him, etc. hence why I acknowledge this is biased - but a happy ending to me is one where everyone else gets to stop fighting Seph and move on with their lives and Sephiroth actually gets to live the life he wanted when he was a child. I won't ever be entirely satisfied with FF7 canon for this reason (true of any tragedy). Nothing that happened to him pre-insanity was fair. So. Catharsis.

As for "redemption" of pre-nibelheim Seph, I read time travel fix-its when it comes to sefikura cause I find it more interesting. For anything pre-insanity that involves canon divergence without time travel, sephgeal, sephgen, sephzack, shipping, platonic or poly makes more sense to me, cause those three are positioned better to help Sephiroth in a meaningful way. Also I personally do think Cloud is a little too young for that then (even if I'm also convinced he 100% had a celeb crush on Seph. Which is also not what Sephiroth needs at that point).

So, for sefikura, pre-nibelheim redemption usually involves Cloud getting yeeted back in time, either by the planet or by choice, to stop things before any of it happens. Cloud usually believes he has to kill Sephiroth, so he'd likely be in close proximity. So how would he deal with seeing, first hand, all the ways that Sephiroth was isolated and dehumanized in Shinra? Cloud still hates him at this point, for good reason. So he's here, witnessing not only Sephiroth being a kind/decent (awkward) human being, but also the lab visits, Hojo being Hojo, being paraded around for propaganda, the effect the "betrayal" of the other firsts likely had, Sephiroth being straight up depressed and malnourished and overworked, hearing whatever lies were fed to control him when he knows the truth. How does he deal with the moral repercussions of killing a technically innocent man? Especially when he realizes that a little support and compassion could've changed the outcome entirely? And Sephiroth on the other hand, now stuck with this persistent stranger that doesn't treat him like either an emotionless weapon or a legend, but some secret third thing (is he trying to kill him???? Can't tell, mixed signals are happening). Cloud would also likely help take Sephiroth's mind off things by virtue of existing - not because Sephiroth particularly cares about Cloud at the beginning (why would he, they're strangers) but because Cloud is fucking weird. Not a soldier, still mako enhanced, angry/aggressive at him in particular and seemingly frustrated about it, history that doesn't match up to current behaviours, etc. Hell, Shinra would likely even order Seph to keep an eye on Cloud. Meanwhile Cloud is desperately fucking with the timeline to ensure everything ends up differently, and accidentally becomes some sort of support for Sephiroth in the process. Because while everyone else was so fooled by the propaganda surrounding their hero, leaving him alone to his own devices (despair and depression), Cloud knows that his attention should be on Seph right now. And I don't think he's the type to just leave things alone out of spite if Seph where to, for example, stumble out of the lab, half delirious from Mako, because of one of Hojo's whims. There's also the question of whether Cloud would know to help with Angeal or Genesis' degradation, which could help either clear up some misunderstandings between Seph and his friends, or just ensure that Seph doesn't lose them at all in the first place.

And if Sephiroth were to find out/be told the truth, about his mother, or about the future, HOW is he gonna react to that???? Knowing that okay, so my heritage isn't actually that of a monster, I have human DNA, but ended up snapping and trying to destroy the world anyways - once again, what does it mean to be a monster, and is he one already, if he hasn't even done all of it yet, technically? In this timeline he's likely closer to Zack, maybe close to Cloud, potentially has met Aerith, maybe Genesis and Angeal are still alive, so he's more tethered by a support system, so how would that change his viewpoints? Would he feel guilty? Does that send him into a worse depression?

Sefikura just tends to give me emotional catharsis when it's written like that, because it gives Sephiroth the opportunity to mourn what he should've had, and gives him a fighting chance to change it. It's someone else being shown the decades of neglect, how deep the hypocrisy of Shinra actually went, the systemic abuse, acknowledging all of the bullshit Sephiroth went through before Nibelheim. It's him breaking out of other's expectations of him, Jenova, or Hojo or whoever else, and getting his childhood wish to just be normal. Like Angeal said (quoted loveless I think) "and what do angels dream of?" "Angels dream of becoming human."

This is also why I find very little enjoyment in reading domroth sefikura. Sephiroth isn't someone who reminds me of that type of personality, before he went crazy. He seems like a very awkward, calm and even sometimes soft dude in his downtime. He's literally just some guy. We don't see a lot of his personality because he was trained (tortured) into believing anything other than perfect control is weakness and failure. I don't think he would have any sexual experience. I think he's depressed, and exhausted and alone and is just very good at hiding it. I don't think he even wants or needs sexual intimacy necessarily, so much as he needs someone to feel safe around.

Anyways. This is. Way too long now. Goodbye.

[chaoskull]

J. Doyle Penrose - Idun and the Apples

Feast of Hope

Space Wolf Oc x Gn!Reader

Summary: On a mission, looking for a possible threat on a planet, Helgi finds a kind human in the midst of a emotionally desperate moment.

I was looking at some paintings and entered a rabbit hole of depictions of norse gods. My first thought was space wolves, so I just let my imagination just run free. It's based in the image of the painting.

A tender world, no harsh ice winds covered its surface, only but a breeze of the fields, a green land that had come to bless the long awaiting wolf, Helgi was no stranger to hotter climates, although they would only come in times of war, where blood was bound to be found.

Some of his brothers accompanied him, out of the grassland, into the woods, no forest as what he heard from tales of other worlds, this one is bright, filled with life, and light that seeps through the canopy of the tall, slim trees. The vibrant vegetation gave him comfort he could never seek on the surface of Fernis.

They head to the heart of the forest, what is to be done, he hasn't been told - merely that they were to kill, as if that was not their duty already - if he was to question anything about the mission the much older astartes of the group would definitely start to complain, as he would always do.

That is until they reach a clearing, they sat themselves on rocks there present, it's been a long travel, walking on foot, as they were told to not disturb the humans present in this planet, ‘Screw them, should have brought those ravens if it was needed to do that’ he reasons.

Helgi was no beginner in tracking, he had many years of servitude, he knew when something felt different in an ambient, as they start discussing what is to be done he notices a smell in the air of fresh fruit, the forest, as he observes, had nothing green and yellow leaves.

The others did not seem bothered by it, but he was, Helgi had not eaten anything since the landing he had been distracted, he was highly alerted of his surroundings, he'd been drinking before the mission again, even though I was clear to him that this would soon destroy him.

Before the sickness stopped he felt no hunger, but as they sat and talked, he wasn't so lightheaded anymore, the dizziness had left and now he was starting to feel starved.

Deciding to end this quickly he got up to seek this smell, the older man was not content with the action. “Helgi, where are you heading to?!” He shouted from his seat.

“I'm starving, you old drunk” He barked back at the man and spat on the floor. “Ha, well look who says that, you were stumbling like an idiot the entire ride on the ship here, boy” The man laughs, it was merely playful banter between the two, though aggressive, they were both accustomed with it by now.

It still hurt Helgi deeply to hear that, he knew most of his brothers had their burdens, but his being so obvious to others it made him feel less than them. He wasn't a new recruit any longer, he was getting old, he had nothing to himself, it was an honor to be an astartes, but he had none left at times he wasn't battling.

Others kept their distance as he left, but the older man followed him. “What are you looking for, you hopeless bastard?” He asked, patting the man on the shoulder.

“Smelled fruit” He answers, he didn't care what was there to eat, though he'd definitely prefer a nice piece of meat. The older man snickers in amusement, not expecting such a response.

They both find the source of the smell not too far, sitting on a rock, eating said fruits, Helgi finds a little human. They recognize them as astartes, space wolves most likely, and quickly take the box where they stored the fruits ready to take a leave, not just from slight fear, but from reverence as well.

Though they were interrupted by a growling sound, it came from the belly of the younger man, and the older one started to laugh at him. They were left confused, he was hungry, they opened the box to offer a fruit to the man.

Helgi felt as his life had come from misery to a miracle in an instant, the two astartes approached his savior, kneeling to get as close as possible to their sitting stature.

They handed him a red ripe fruit, it was big in their hand, when he took it it seemed times smaller, taking a bite of it he almost devoured it whole, juice dripping from his hand, it was just as sweet as it looked.

“You want more, my lord?” He lifted his head to the sound of the voice, met with a gentle smile a hand held another in front of him, dangling in their fingers. His head falls to their lap, loosening his grip of the fruit, it rolled through the grass.

The older man was sitting near the scene, about to make fun of him. He looked at them and decided to leave instead, returning to do a mission with the others, who were too watching while they waited, without Helgi noticing.

What he saw was a blessing, he wanted to take you to Fernis, he couldn't leave you on this planet, he was a selfish man. This forest was a distant paradise, and you were an angel, one not made by imperium means, one made of kindness.

He wonders what you must make of him, he was barely holding his tears, and yet you placed your hands on his hair, slowly running them along his red mane.

Leaning his head up to meet your gaze, one hand travels down to scratch his bearded cheeks only to move it away his face, leaving him yearning for more.

Taking the fruit and holding it close to his mouth, Helgi lets you feed him, he was chewing slowly this time as to savor it, truth is he wanted to have far more time in your hold. He'll have only a memory of your gentle expression, if not to leave with you today.

“Come with me, It’s cold on Fernis, but I'll give you my warmth, I promise you, let me” He begs, leaning closer to your face. “I'm a failure at everything my legion stands for, I'm not prideful of my actions, I'm not nice to be around, I can't make myself likable”

“You say a lot of negative things about yourself, I'm certain most are not true, my lord” They comment, trying to make the man less desolate.

He looks at you, eyes imploring for you to depart with him. “I shall take my leave with you if that is wish for, I'll become your serf”

“No little one, not a thrall, I will cherish you, you'll be mine to spoil” He grins at them, he suddenly gets up, much faster than what they would expect for a man who was just inconsolable moments before. He holds their hand, drawing circles on their palms.

“Helgi, you done?!” A yell is heard not far from where they were.

“I believe in you, lord Helgi” They get up and take the box in their hands, hugging it close to their chest. Having such an immense height difference, they crane their head up to look at him.

“Enough with the lord stuff” He huffs back at them, grabbing them, he pulls them closer to himself and runs one hand on their back, almost engulfing them in the pelts around his belt.

“Ha, got yourself a spouse, that's surprising!” The older wolf shouts as he laughs, suddenly appears from behind the bushes and trees, covered in what was most likely blood and guts of an unknown creature.

“They are not!” Helgi retorts the old man's remark, he leans closer to their head. “...yet” He mumbles, leaving them with a shocked, embarrassed expression, he chuckles at the sight.

Thank you for reading this little thing from my mind!