#But something about their stuff just inspires and excites me to write even a year later
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I'm just answering these because I want to, and skipping the ones that wouldn't be relevant or I don't feel like answering lmao
01. How many fics have you worked on since January? Hmm, five? I finished the Noct & Gladio one, I've been working on the rewrite of the aftermath one, I started the one inspired by @quartzguts fic Lost Signal (go fucking read this if you haven't), I did some more backstory for the college au, and I edited the secret one.
02. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? I've been trying to do a sliiiightly closer POV than before. I think it came out nicely enough in the Noct & Gladio fic. Definitely a challenge for me though.
05. What ships captured your heart? Ignoct still has my heart forever and always, but I've definitely had a growing fondness for Gladnoct. More platonic than romantic but I don't mind the romantic.
07. Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year? I mean I guess the Noct & Gladio fic is the first time I've written a fic centered on the two of them. I thought about writing a fic for Sword AF, and for Breath of the Wild, but I didn't. I'm unlikely to for either fandom, tbh. Too many for ffxv to focus on.
08. What fic meant the most to you to write? Aftermath fic, even though I'm not finished with it. I've been basically writing it since 2019 and it's the most in-depth fic I've ever written and I've put so much fucking work into it and it's over 600K I'm super proud of it even if it's slowly killing me and the fandom will be 100% dead by the time I'm done.
09. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on? college au, my self-indulgent beloved. I have no idea if I'll ever successfully write you, but I love you nonetheless.
10. What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing? lmao I only finished the Noct & Gladio one so I guess that by default.
11. What fic was the most difficult to write? the one inspired by Lost Signal. I have it all plotted out and I'm excited to write it but fuuuuck when I tried back in the summer it was not cooperating. and then writer's block just came knocking in general. I've got one finished chapter and I low-key hate it so I'm trying to ease back into things with working on my rewrite of aftermath fic before I attempt this fic again.
12. What fic was the easiest to write? I mean the Noct & Gladio one was pretty easy to write once I kicked my own ass and stopped procrastinating on the battle scene lol.
14. What were your go-to writing songs? I like to listen to a lot of EDM stuff. Especially Industrial but other stuff too. KMFDM, Assemblage 23, Lost Signal, Neuroticfish, Rotersand, Seabound, Lionhearts, Covenant, Wolfsheim, Acretongue, Michael FK... I also listened to Linkin Park and the Ori and the Blind Forest soundtrack.
15. What was the hardest fic to title? only two fics got titled this year... the secret one I ain't sharing lmao and the Noct & Gladio one, which was actually hard to title. Ameliorate. It fits but I kinda hate it ngl. I couldn't think of anything better. I still can't. It's whatever.
16. What's your favorite title of the year? the secret one. I'm so mean for it but as soon as I was done editing I knew I HAD to make that the title. I'm sorry my beloved blorbo. it was just too perfect lmao. one of my mutuals knows what I'm talking about XD it's all good.
21. What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story? my ass in 2019: I already wrote a lot of Noct dissociating in Under Grey Skies, I don't need to do it in aftermath fic. my ass in 2024: huh, Noct doesn't dissociate enough in this fic. soooo I guess now that's gonna be a thing. it has very much changed the story, several scenes have been changed/added for it and I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with it yet but that's why I'm writing without posting for now. wasn't expecting to do it but we'll see what happens.
22. What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand? no to by hand, I only sometimes do that for notes/plotting. I use scrivener <3333 I bit the bullet at the start of this year and used the money I had left from selling my car/after buying a freezer to upgrade to scrivener 3 and though I miss some things from scrivener 1, I mostly like it. I've gotten a lot more into the organisational features and it's been a godsend for making the rewrite of aftermath manageable.
25. How did you recharge between fics? Killed myself 100%ing breath of the wild. including all 900 fucking korok seeds. and then started playing tears of the kingdom with the intention of 100%ing that too but fuck me upgrading the armour was such a fucking slog even with duping diamonds for rupees and I still don't even have all of the sets collected and the koroks are more annoying this time and hhhhhhh I went back to fic to recharge from that fucking game.
28. If this were an awards show, who would you thank? @ivorydice for letting me endlessly ramble about my fics and helping me with plotting some of them. @quartzguts for writing an amazing fic that has inspired me with one of my own that I will write and finish eventually hrgh. @smallest-turtle for also letting me ramble that one time and for stabbing me in the heart with painful headcanons that made me think more about my own. literally anyone who's read my fics regardless of whether they've left kudos or comments or bookmarked them. anyone who talks to me. anyone who likes my venting as support. all my mutuals for being my mutuals even if we've never had a single interaction.
29. What's left on your to-do list for 2024? to just keep pecking away at the rewrite of aftermath fic. by the end of today I should have 38 of 62 chapters rewritten... send help T^T
30. What would you like to write next year? I just wanna finish aftermath fic for the love of god. pls. also the fic inspired by Lost Signal, and I'd like to maaaaaaaybe (big maybe) write a companion fic to the Noct & Gladio fic, showing Ignis & Prompto's hunt, but I don't actually have any ideas for it rn. so we'll see.
A slightly revised version of last year's questions! Two ways to play: Reblog and have your followers send you numbers, or answer the whole list!
How many fics have you worked on since January?
What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?
What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)
How many fandoms did you write for this year?
What ships captured your heart?
What characters captured your heart?
Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?
What fic meant the most to you to write?
What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?
What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?
What fic was the most difficult to write?
What fic was the easiest to write?
What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?
What were your go-to writing songs?
What was the hardest fic to title?
What's your favorite title of the year?
Share your favorite opening line
Share your favorite ending line
Share your favorite piece of dialogue
Share your funniest line
What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?
What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?
If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?
Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?
How did you recharge between fics?
Did you create fanworks other than fic?
How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)
If this were an awards show, who would you thank?
What's left on your to-do list for 2024?
What would you like to write next year?
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Hiatus
So… this is a post I’ve been debating with myself these past 2/3 weeks on whether to make or not.
Some of yall may have noticed that I’ve been taking quite a few breaks from s4 and I have unfortunately just finally allowed myself to acknowledge that I’ve hit a bit of a writing block when it comes to my Winx Club rewrite.
I’ve had a few frustrations during s4 (even though I’ve managed to keep my writing up to my own personal standards, it’s been very difficult) and- despite being halfway through the season, unlike past seasons I still have no idea what I’m going to do with s5 and it’s just been getting to me.
And now I am forced to accept that if I keep forcing myself to churn out chapters and stressing out over keeping you all waiting until I’m satisfied with every chapter, the only thing I’ll do is kill my creativity and my love for this rewrite.
I’ve been working on this rewrite for nearly 3 years and it kinda low-key shames me to say that I am officially placing it on hiatus.
To me ‘taking a break’ and ‘hiatus’ are 2 completely different things, I know I’ve taken breaks before but I always had some vague idea of when I’d return but this time… I just don’t know.
I have been working on my Original Novel and works for other fandoms that have just been filling me with inspiration in a way I haven't been able to feel with Winx Club for a bit now.
I hope I have built up enough trust over these past 3 years for you all to believe me when I say that I will be back. I am not the type to leave things unfinished, especially a story that means so much to me and that I am so very proud of and that has helped me grow so much as a writer and has helped me get through some difficult times and express certain emotions and grief in a way I never could’ve if I hadn’t dived into this 3 long years ago.
I was really hoping to post chapters for Xmas and New Years as I have past years but I just can’t- HOWEVER, on January 28th, the third anniversary of Veiled Wings and Shattered Panoramas, I will post… something. I don’t know if it will be a chapter or not but I will do something for the anniversary.
If you wanna know what I’ll be up to; I will be working on my Original Novel since I have finally landed on exactly what idea I want to work on. I will also be working on 2 projects, one for ATLA (Zutara post-canon self-indulgent thingy) and another one that I honestly don’t know if I’ll go through with since it’d be a pretty big project and I’m still thinking about how I’d go about it, but that I am very inspired and excited about.
So yeah, thank you all for your never ending support and- again, I WILL BE BACK, this is not an abandonment of the rewrite, it’s just me having to prioritize my mental health and protect both my love for writing and my love for the rewrite. I’ll be going through my inbox this next week and answer a bunch of stuff that I just haven’t really looked through in a while.
Thank you so much for understanding and for your support. I hope you will wait for the return of the rewrite and that maybe you will give my other projects a chance when I post them. I will be posting a lot of my inner thoughts on the rewrite and my other projects chapters + thoughts on my Ko-fi if you wanna check that out.
I wish you all Happy Holidays!
With eternal love and gratitude,
Yours Truly, Dragonfly
#winx club#winx rewrite#winx#winx headcannon#winx fanfic#winx headcanons#veiled wings and shattered panoramas#Crossroads of destiny and will o’ the wisps#i will return
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Every so often I reread The SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun by @esamastation and I go utterly feral. It's SO GOOD and the ideas of what might happen to Sqq when he forms his core and reaches immortality get me so excited, even after all this time haha. The weird mix of ff7 magic lore and the xianxia methods Sqq is bringing to the table just has so many possibilities, but even outside that the way the plot was developing left me so curious and excited! I don't know what it is about it, but that fic scratches all my itches and the writing itself is really well done!
#Have I recommended this before? Yes. Will I do it again? Probably yes.#I hope they're okay they were writing tons and then suddenly just stopped and haven't started again. Hope they're alright.#But something about their stuff just inspires and excites me to write even a year later#Like it's so GOOD all of it!!#fic recs#fic rec#ff7#svsss#crossover
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people change / CL16 / Part 1
Summary: dad!Charles x French!ex!reader - You wish you could just forget about the relationship. It's hard when you had a son together.
Warnings: 'Y/s/n' means 'your son's name', you are free to imagine the son as whatever age he acts because I leave that unspecified, mention of breaking up/divorce, broken family, censored cussing, getting drunk, toxic relationship, me sucking at writing kids (how do they even act???)
Requested?: No.
Author's Note: This was heavily inspired by the song People Change by for KING & COUNTRY at the end there especially. I listened to it while writing. So you're free to look that up and have a listen. Link to part 2 / Link to part 3
"Hey, sweetie," you say as you buckle your son into the car. "How was your day at school?"
"Fun... But Mama, I didn't know what to do."
"Hm? When didn't you know what to, love?" you ask, concerned.
"Well, we did papers and pictures about our mommies and daddies and our houses and stuff and I didn't know, Mama..."
You stop after he says this, pulling your hands away as they tremble. Your heart, at those words from your son, feels like it's being wrenched out of your chest, and you cough into your arm. "O- Oh, sweetheart..." you clear your throat. "Well, why don't you first draw pictures and write about me and my house, and then you write and draw about your daddy and his house..."
Your son does a pouting face at this. "Mama..." he complains. "Why can't you and Daddy be like other kids' mommies and daddies?"
"Love, I don't think this is the time to be talking about this. Let's just get driving home now." You hate to shut him down, but he's asking too many questions that you just can't answer.
He's asking too many questions that are making you feel too confused and guilty.
"Hey, buddy. What's up?" you smile as you get out of the car to help your son pack his bags into the trunk, and then get in the backseat. You're doing this right outside Charles' house. You're picking him up from his weekend with his dad.
The little boy shrugs as you buckle him in. "I want my grey bag, Mama! Daddy gave me some food for the ride."
"What do you say?"
"Please!" he pouts.
You nod, and give him his bag. Charles is always sure to equip Y/s/n with a bagful of healthy snacks for the hour and forty-five minute drive back home.
The whole ride, Y/s/n is unusually quiet. Even when you try talking to him, he gives short answers and makes no effort to continue the conversation. Which is very unusual from the usually frisky and excitable little boy.
When you get home and go inside, he immediately goes to his room, still not saying anything.
You sigh, feeling worried.
Did...
Did Charles do something?
Even though the two of you separated for big reasons, you've never felt too worried about Y/s/n going to see him every other weekend, except for maybe at the beginning. Over the years, you're pretty sure that Charles has gotten more responsible than how he once was.
"Dinnertime, love!"
Silence.
"Love?"
"I'm not hungry!"
You sigh, the worry sinking deeper. "You should have saved some of your dad's snack for later, then! I made dinner for you!"
Silence. Again.
You walk down the hall and knock on his bedroom door, before gently pushing it open. The little boy is sitting on his red bed. In his hand is his Ferrari hat. He's blankly staring at it.
Oh God no. What did Charles do? What did Charles say? Doesn't he understand the unspoken boundaries about this?
"Y/s/n?" you say gently, sitting down next to him. "What's wrong, sweetie? You know you can tell me. I'm listening."
The boy looks older than he is right now. You feel a sharp pang in your chest as he murmurs, "Why do you and daddy live in different countries? How come I have two houses, two bedrooms... two everything? How come, Mama?"
It takes all you have to not tear up. You wrap your arms tightly around him at this. He leans against you, hugging you back.
"Andre and Alex have a mommy and daddy who live in the same house. How come you and Daddy don't?"
"Y/s/n, it's really complicated, love. But, can I ask... What has got you thinking of all of this, love? What has got this on your mind?" You speak in a very gentle tone, rubbing his back. Obviously, this is upsetting him. Really, though, what kid wouldn't be upset?
Your son looks at you in hesitation. "I'm not allowed to say..."
You feel another pang of worry. "Love, it's okay. You can tell your mama anything."
"But Daddy told me not to."
You swallow nervously. "You're not doing anything wrong by telling me. I'm giving you permission. I can't have you feeling this upset, love. You can tell me anything that's bothering you, even if your father told you not to." Y/s/n is too much of a good kid. You don't know where he gets it from.
You wipe your son's watering eyes, trying to reassure him. He sniffs, before saying, "You won't tell Daddy?"
"Tell Daddy what?"
"What I'm gonna tell you."
You bite your lip. "Of course not, love. I won't tell your daddy."
He nods, before saying, as he starts to really cry, "Daddy cried, Mommy... I wasn't allowed to know but I couldn't sleep because Daddy forgot to read me my story. So I was going in to tell him to snuggle me... because I couldn't sleep. But Daddy was crying..." Y/s/n sniffs, and continues blubbering, "Daddy was talking to someone on the phone and he was really sad... I don't know why Daddy was crying, Mama. He said he was sad because he missed you and me to the person on the phone. Daddy was so sad so I don't know why we don't make Daddy happy and why can't my mommy and daddy be like my friends' mommies and daddies?" He lets out a sob, snuggling into you. You're speechless as your son continues, "I went and gave Daddy a hug because he was sad. He said he missed you. He asked me why I was up and said I was in trouble and said I wasn't allowed to tell you he was sad and crying. He said even daddies cry sometimes," he sniffs and lets out another sob. You hold him tight, eyes wide. "I asked him how come he was sad and he said he didn't know and he loved me and then we went to bed. I don't get it, Mama."
You try not to tremble.
Fighting off tears, because the last thing Y/s/n needs is to see his mom cry on top of it all. Not sad tears, though. Angry tears.
Why can't Charles just let go? He's so possessive and obsessive. F*ck him and his Monaco flat and his boat and his Ferrari and everything f*cking else. Why would he let his son see him so vulnerable. Doesn't he care? F*ck him.
Why can't he just let go?
You walk down the hall of the mall, your son's little hand in yours, heading to the food court because eventually, Y/s/n's complaining about how 'I'm hungryyyyy!' got too annoying, and you gave in.
Suddenly, though, his little hand slips out of yours. You look down at him in confusion, starting to say his name. He starts running away. You're about to go after him, but suddenly freeze when the little boy shouts, "Look, Mama, look! It's Daddy! Daddy! Hi, Daddy! Hiiiii!"
And sure enough, Charles Leclerc stops as soon as he sees his son, a grin spreading across his face. He adjusted his cap to be lower on his forehead, clearly trying to go incognito here. But he bends down, and the moment little Y/s/n reaches Charles, his father scoops him up into his arms, standing up with an, "Auwgh," noise, as if it were really hard for the strong man to pick up his light son. Charles holds him tight, in an embrace, before saying, "What's up, buddy? Where's your mama?" Y/s/n points, and Charles looks up.
Your eyes meet. And everything stops. The voices, the music, the whir of the escalators, the lights, heating, and air conditioning all making their own sounds, the people walking past- everyone else living their own lives disappear.
And it's just you and Charles, eyes locked, staring at each other.
Heartbeats or seconds or minutes, you don't know. You feel a certain electricity that hurts. Shocks you. Maybe Charles likes how it feels though. Maybe he loves that, with his adrenaline seeking lifestyle. Because, after all, he doesn't look away.
But in the same way, you don't either.
Finally, it's your son that breaks the trance you seemed to go into with your ex-husband, by saying suddenly words that stress you out and tear you apart at the same time: "See, Daddy?" He pats his father's cheek, which has a little bit of facial hair. "You don't have to cry anymore... You don't..." Suddenly, he looks a little scared, realizing he wasn't supposed to say that, but finishes softly with, "You don't have to miss Mama anymore, Daddy, because she's right here..."
There's almost a pleading in your son's eyes. A longing. You feel yourself start to tear up, but you strive to hold them back. Y/s/n. He loves us. He loves his parents so much. He just wishes they would love each other.
Charles shakes his head in surprise, stroking Y/s/n's hair, "Buddy, it's okay. Don't worry. I'm okay. I don't-" he falters for just a moment before finishing quickly, glancing to you nervously, "I don't miss Mama anymore. Don't worry."
"But I miss Mama." At this, both of you look at your son in confusion.
"But Y/s/n, Mama is right here," Charles says carefully, taking more steps closer to you. "See? Do you want to go with M-"
"No!" your son suddenly snaps, and says as if it is the most obviously thing on earth, "When I'm with Daddy, I miss Mama. When I'm with Mama, I miss Daddy. I don't wanna miss you guys!"
All the sudden, it's too much for you. All of it. Before Charles can do anything else you say quickly, your voice obviously cracking and your breath shaky, "Charles, can you take him home today? I'm sorry-"
"Of course, Y/n. I-"
You turns, jogging away. You need to get out of there.
But as you run out, you hear Charles call after you, "Y/n! Y/n, wait! Y/n, we're going to talk on the phone tonight, okay? There's things we still need to go over!"
At around 3:00 A.M., Charles calls. While you're worried to answer, you're also relieved. The fact that you're still awake at 3:00 A.M. shows how much anxiety you've been feeling about getting this call from Charles.
When you pick up, you murmur softly, "Hey, Charles."
"Sorry I'm calling at this hour. God. I just had to make sure Y/s/n was sound asleep. I'm, uhm," he pauses to clear his throat awkwardly, and continues in a softer, more delicate voice, "I'm sure Y/s/n told you about the phone call the other weekend..."
"Y- Yeah, he did. What did you do? Did you scare him into not telling me? He was crying," you say, your voice becoming harder and harder as you speak.
"What?! No! I just asked him please not to tell you. That was it. Maybe he was crying because..." Charles trails off.
"Because why?" you snap, although the sinking feeling within tells you exactly why.
"Y/n..." he sighs loudly. "Because our son loves us and doesn't get why... w- we... don't- don't, uhm.... love each other." The facts that he falters so much on that last phrase, that it's so hard for him to get out, sends a pit in your stomach. Of dread, and anger.
And without another hesitation, you just say it. "Charles... you still love me, don't you?"
There's silence over the phone. Sickly, disgusting, terrible silence. The anger rises up in you higher and higher, like a pressure, trying to push you on your tipping point. So finally you snap, probably way too loud, "Charles, what the hell! F*ck you. I hate you, you f*cking asshole. You're too much of a f*cking coward to even say it! Just like you've always been!" Your voice gets louder and louder. "Just like you've always been! Too much of a f*cking coward to admit anything! You tricked me! You had me thinking everything was peaches and cream, but it wasn't! You were being a terrible person and played innocent, and whenever I asked you anything, you did the same exact thing you still do. You just keep silent. Charles, I know you'll never grow, I hate that my son has to see your sorry ass every other weekend, and if I knew it wouldn't break his sweet little heart, I would wish your pathetic silent self would just fall off the face of the earth so I didn't have to ever have to listen to your stupid, pathetic silence ever again."
"Y/n, I-" You hang up. Charles doesn't try to call back.
Years ago.
Charles came in and stumbled into your arms, as if you were the one that needed to take care of him. You were tired, having stayed up with your fussy baby boy nearly all night, with no help, and you wanted to cry. You didn't want Charles to stumble in, drunk, right into your arms, as if he was the one who needed help. No. He was the one causing the problem. He had reeked of alcohol. He didn't get drunk this often, and you knew exactly why he was doing it now, although he'd been too scared while sober to admit it to you. It was the argument you'd had, and his way of coping was going out, getting drunk, and coming home to his wife and baby at three in the morning, wasted. Now, while drunk out of his mind, he was able to murmur, his words slurred tremendously, "Y/n... I'm sorry, love... You should've come with me tonight. I had fun... We could... make up for that argument..." He had a sickly seductive tone in his voice.
You felt rage fill up in you. Did you forget about your son? The son that you and I created together? Did you forget about that? Instead of letting any of that rage escape you, you just brought him to the bedroom and helped him into bed. You left him, walked to the living room, sat down on the couch, and held your aching, tired head, pulling at your hair, as tears escaped your closed eyelids.
Your world was spinning. Everything was wrong.
The argument. You had started it. And yelled at him. About how he was a coward and never told the truth. Even though you loved him. You thought. You must've. You... You had a son together. You yelled at him for telling you he was working when he wasn't. You yelled at him that he wasn't helping you at all and that you were going out of your mind. You said you felt like a single mom because he was never around, never helped, and never tried to. He lied and told you that an event he had mentioned that you were excited for was cancelled because he had found out more things about the event that he didn't want to deal with himself. He was becoming more and more selfish, showing who he really was more and more every single day. It just made you think- what is he doing when he gets drunk? What else is he being dishonest about?
Eventually you stopped loving him. You loved your son much more, so you broke it off. The final tipping point was when you suspected he had cheated, although nothing had ever proved that. But that was when you finally broke it off.
He was heartbroken. He held onto you. No, Y/n, please don't do this. I'll try better. I'll try better. You had told him that he had been saying he'd try better for the past year.
He had cried. Maybe even sobbed. You only saw him sob twice. Once was one time when he was drunk out of his mind, and the other one was that night when you told him you were breaking it off. I guess Y/s/n has seen him sob a third time, though.
He had said to you that he still loved you. You had said if you loved me, you wouldn't have done this. And that was the end of it.
Or so you thought.
You can't believe you're here. You can't believe he convinced you. You set up for your mother to watch Y/s/n while you drive into Monaco and.
Well, yeah. Go to Charles' God-forsaken house. To meet with him. 'Have a talk' as he put it. 'In real life.' So he can 'see your face and expressions.' And 'understand better.'
Charles opens the door. He's wearing a black t-shirt, grey jeans, and has his usual assortment of different bracelets on his wrists. And a disgustingly expensive watch. As you walk into his (beautiful) flat, you see that it hasn't changed much since you left and moved a couple hours closer to home, back in France. Just a little cleaner. But just like how it was when you lived here, there's still a stray toy on the floor here and there. As if reading your mind, he bends down, picking up a few of them, before putting them in a basket in the corner of the room. He runs his hand through his messy, wavy brown hair, looking a little awkward. "Why don't you sit down?" he asks softly, gesturing to the couch by a nod of his head. "Make yourself... comfortable... Uh... I made some cookies. Consider it a peace offering. And I... I really tried to make them good, too. I'm just going to go grab them." And before you can think or react, he's walking out of the room to grab them.
When he returns with the cookies, he sits down next to you, holding the little plate out to you. You hesitantly take one, nibbling off a little bite, nervously glancing to Charles. "It's fine..." you say. In your taste, too sweet (and slightly gooey) but besides that, alright. "But I just want to get this over with, okay? Charles can we just... have this talk? So I can go?"
Your ex husband stared down, before nodding slowly. "Yeah... Of course." He falters, before murmuring, "I love our son just as much as you do. And it hurts me to see him-"
"My God, Charles, shut up. I know what this is about. It's about you being selfish," the bitterness in your voice surprised even yourself, "You're being selfish because for some twisted reason, you still want to be with me, and you're using my son's pain as an excuse. You're just as you've always been- selfish, lying, and making excuses."
"Y/n, no it's not!" he snaps, his eyes pleading. "I- I- I want the best for our son."
"Charles, do you still love me?"
He stares at you. Hesitates. Falters. He inhales a shaky breath, before looking down at his hands in his lap. "All these years I've never dated another woman. All these years the guilt has crushed me."
"Shut up!" you spit. "It's not guilt, Charles, of hurting me your or son. It's guilt because you wouldn't wanted to be with me longer. It's selfish. You're f*cking selfish!"
He practically begs, "Please, babe, just listen-"
"What did you just call me?"
He stares in surprise at what he just said. He swallows. "I'm sorry- It- It just came out..."
You glare, and shout, "You still love me, you dick! I hate you! You- You cheated on me!"
He cuts you off by grabbing your arm suddenly. There's a desperate look in his eyes. "Y/n... No, I didn't... I swear it on my life.. On my job, on everything I love... I would..." You're shocked to watch as a singular tear gently rolls down one of his cheeks. He's holding back more. The salty, warm tear drops right onto your palm. You wipe it off. Charles eyes plead with you as he murmurs, his voice cracking, "I would never cheat on you..."
You stare, trying to form more words, not knowing what to say.
But Charles continues, "I don't know where you got the idea I cheated on you... I know it was hard and I was being..." Suddenly there is guilt and grief openly painted all across his face. "I was being a terrible person... Giving up the most lovely, sweet wife and baby I could've ever asked for... I was young and stupid, Y/n...Y/n... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I swear I mean it...
"I would do anything for this to work."
Another tear falls.
"Y/n... just listen... I need you to hear me out..."
He sniffs. He seems so broken. Vulnerable. Honest.
"It's all my fault, Y/n. I know. I know. I'm sorry. And I get if you're afraid... I would be, too... but, Y/n... I wish you could just understand that... that...
"Y/n, people change."
Author's Note- Just wanted to say if you guys liked this and want a part two, I'm totally open to writing that! Let me know if you want a part two, and if you have any ideas, shoot! Like should I end this happy? Or not...? And in what way? If no one gives me ideas, I'll just come up with it, but you guys are extremely welcome to let me know!!! Thank you! <3
#"f1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagines#f1 one shot#f1 x reader#formula 1#formula one#formula1#charles leclerc#charles lecerc x reader#leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#sharl leclerc#sky sports f1#ferrari f1#ferrari#charles#formula 1 one shot#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 fic#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula one imagine#formula one x reader#formula one x you#formula racing#cl16#cl16 x reader#cl16 imagine
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You Belong With Me
wc: 2.9 (i got excited lol)
warnings: angst/conform!; eddie!xfem!bestfriend!; there is a smutty scene but nothing too serious; depreciation and low self esteem; friends to lovers!- they’re just obsessed with each other
tell me if i’m missing something!
a/n: Hi guys, i’ve been off for a while, a little longer than expected, but i needed to organize some stuff from my personal life. Anyways, i wrote this, of course is not super original, but i’ve been with this ideia of using songs, this one in particular, to write stories. As a source of inspiration. I hope you like it! <3
You and Eddie have been friends for a long time, longer than it seems, and he has always been there for you. When your mother yelled at you for some reason and you got upset or for when you needed money and he helped you, even though he didn’t had any and you knew it, he help you anyway or when you graduated and he was held back but he got happy for you and even took you out on a fancy dinner, to celebrate. He was always by your side and you were always by his.
There was kind of a rule between the two of you, if one of you gets sad or mad about anything is an obligation to call the other. Honestly it was just another reason to see each other. And today, well, you can tell it was not your happiest day ever. You were fired from this job you got five months ago in a bookstore because they couldn't pay the rent and the place went bankrupt. You were so happy with this job, genuinely, but you guessed that wasn’t enough.
So you didn’t waisted a minute and immediately called Eddie, it was a super emergency meeting that you wanted to spent all your money (the money that was left over) in ice cream. But he didn’t answer. You tried one, two, three times, but there was no answer. So, instead of trying a fourth time, you headed straight to the trailer park, a place which the way you already knew by heart.
It was already dark when you parked your car in front of his trailer and there was a red car, a BMW. That was odd. Eddie had a van that you were yet not sure how it was standing by itself and Wayne had a truck. You just ignored the car standing there and went to the door. As you got closer to the door, you could hear loud music coming from inside, to be more specific it was “Sex and Outrage” from Motörhead. You just ignored and got in, you knew that if you kept trying to call him from just knocking at the door, he wouldn’t listen. That’s probably why he didn’t answer the phone in first place.
So you walked down the little corridor to where his room was but stopped the second you heard a voice. A girl’s voice. And she wasn’t talking. You also heard his voice in the same tone as hers. You risked taking a look and there was the girl you had heard, on top of him bouncing up and down in the yellow lights of his room. Her hands squeezed and held his hand against her breasts. They both were moaning as if they were in a porn movie. You felt your eyes burning with tears. This girl was no stranger.
Margaret Fowler, or Maggie as everyone called her, was one of the most popular girls in your school. You weren’t in her class, she’s two years older than you and graduated before and yet people still talked about the most talented cheerleader and hot chick to walk through those corridors. To be with her was just a a fantasy, or at least it was what the boys said.
You couldn’t believe that she was there, naked and fucking your best friend. She opened her eyes and saw you standing there behind the little slit of the door like you were a perv watching them fuck. It didn’t took you long to run away before she could say something. You didn’t wait another second to start the car and get out of there as soon as possible. Tears started to fall from your eyes. When did that happen? You haven’t seen him in a week or so. How did Maggie end up there with him. It seemed like a lie, because most girls stayed with Eddie either to lose their virginity or to see what it was like to be with the freak. You hated yourself for thinking like that, but it was the truth, or at least it was what he told you. But you never understood how no one saw him the way you did. He had a charm, something that even you couldn’t explain. It was some sort of magnet that pulled you to him even though you didn’t want to.
But of course you never told him. How could you? The only person who knew was Robin. You had such a good relationship and how could he like you. Now it was all you could think about.
“Please, wake up, will you? Look at her. She has an amazing body, she was the cheer captain, popular and with beautiful hair and friends AND she’s older than you… and him. Most men like that, right?. And you… you wear t-shirts, you’re a bookworm, average non-interesting girl that on school games, were always on the bleachers waiting for your friend to play with her band.”
Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop……..
Without even realizing, you drove to Robin’s house and started to desperately knock at her door
***********
It only took you two 30 minutes to put on a stupid movie and open some ice cream pots. You cried more and explained everything to Robin.
“I should have just walked away, it would’ve saved me all these tears. I’m so fucking stupid. On my head, he belonged to me!” You said looking at her TV and putting the spoon in your mouth. “They really mean it Robin, when they used to say that she looked like an angel!”
Robin just mumbled “Believe me, i know…”
“And i feel really bad because i should be happy for him right? I mean, i’m his friend and… oh wait, what if they’re dating? Oh no, then we can’t be fri-”
“Y/N! STOP WITH THAT! I’ve heard you and i’m here for you but won’t stand listen to you go all crazy on your own assumptions, and i won’t stand neither of this treatment i’m seeing here. Do you see how bad are you talking about yourself? You are so much more than that! So please… why don’t we wait until this whole…. thing settle down and then we can talk about it, maybe go to Eddie’s and see what is actually happening?”
In the moment she stopped talking you heard someone knocking at the door.
“Oh fuck! Oh shit it’s him, i can feel it!”
“Calm down woman. You stay here, i’ll go check.”
You shrunk on the couch as you waited for her to answer the door.
“Thank god! Hey Robin, is she… is she here?” You heard a very familiar voice coming from behind you. So he knew that you were there, great! Just awesome!
“Look Eddie, do you know what day is today?” I could see the face she was making and i had to hold my laugh. Eddie stayed quiet. “Today is my sacred day! Full of mundane activities such as watching movies and eating a lot of ice cream and not giving a damn about the world outside and now, with this kind of unexpected visit of yours, you are interrupting my peace so if you please just… go. That would be great! I’m not being rude, it’s just the day, remember.” Robin was closing the door, i could hear it squeaking, but then there was a stomp. “Eddie… if you want to talk to her, why don’t you go to her house?”
“What, do you think i’m fucking stupid? i tried to call her, but she didn’t answer the phone then i drove there and kept knocking at the door for minutes but nobody was home so i came here, hoping to find her and now, for your behavior, you just turned yourself in. So please, i really really have to talk to her.” He spoke with no pauses, all just rushed. You had to really pay attention to understand every single word.
“Where is this girlfriend of yours? I mean, that’s none of my business but, how come you were having sex with like, the most popular girl we know?” Robin changed the subject in a not so natural way. You mentally thanked her for trying to help you.
“She is not my girlfriend! This was casual fuck.” He yelled at her, but then he got himself back together. “Not that i need to explain myself but we were playing at the Hideout and she was there on the crowd. I was surprised to see her there. As far as i knew, she was just one of the many boring popular kids in school that only got popular because she looked twice her age. But she started to hit on me and i was miserable, ok! I just needed to forget everything. And you know how it is, i don’t have a long list full of girls that wants to be with me. So i just acted easy and… well.” I could see his face now. He was ashamed, with those big puppy eyes.
“Can you wait here?” It took her a couple of seconds to absorb everything he said and to speak again. He probably just nodded because i heard the door close.
“You have GOT to go there! Come on, go talk to him.” She yelled-whispered to me
“Robin, i can’t, not now.” I said getting up speaking in the same tone
“Why not?”
“If i see his face, i don’t think i can take it, i’m too weak now, i’ll just fall into his charm again! I need to be well enough so i won’t ruin everything.” You know that if you walked past that door, in this moment of weakness, you would cry your eyes out again and you would beg him to be with you. In short, you would just humiliate yourself.
“Nonsense! You go there and face it. It’s right there outside, you can’t runway from that man which is by the way your best friend. Honestly, i know that you got sad but, that man is Eddie. You know how he is, he would never do those things that you were saying.” Of course you were being dramatic, it was easier to just start assuming things than actually having to face them.
You just nodded and walked to the door. With a very fake bravery, you opened the door once more. There he was, all anxious, grumpy and smoking a cigarette. You always find it funny this little pout he puts on.
“Hi sweetheart… can we talk, please?” His words came out softly from his lips, contrasting with the way he was talking to Robin, and he threw the cigarette away.
You just nodded and closed the door. He was analyzing your swollen red eyes and as if it would protect you, you cross your arms.
“I’m sorry that i ran away like that, i didn’t mean to ruin your night or to concern you but i just didn’t think it would be good if i stayed, you know? And i had a very shitty day and…” The breeze of the night hits your face and you feel lines under your eyes getting colder than the rest of your body. Great, you were crying again! “I just really needed a friend and i was completely wrong to invade your house like that, i’m really sorry for that too, i just heard loud music and i thought that you were there practicing or whatever. I just… sorry Eddie.” You could hold anymore and you broke into tears again.
He was listening very carefully and didn’t waist a second before giving you a hug, a very tight and gentle hug. You started to ground yourself in his arms.
“I’m not going to force you, but would you like to tell me why was your day so bad?” He said still hugging you.
“I got fired, it’s a long story but the bookstore is closing and i was going to yours so we could call the night you know?…” He hummed and caressed your hair. “And you know the rest.”
“I’m sorry i wasn’t there for you. I was also going to call the night but then… i think you heard it too?” It was your time to hum and you broke the hug.
“Look, i’m just going to say it, because i’m holding it back since i realized and i think if you’re smart enough, you’re going to connect the dots anyhow so… i think it’s better just to tell you.” He was still close to you, looking at your eyes anxious. “I like you Eddie, i really do! Not in this cute little friend way, i’m not talking about that. I’m talking about complaining to Robin and Steve every time you hook up with a girl because i know they don’t know you like i do, they don’t get you humor, your music and what is means to you, your friends and the club, and a whole different part of your life that only i know. I keep telling them ‘you guys don’t understand what i’m talking about, but i’m telling you, he belongs with me!’. You belong to me and not some other random girl who is not interested in the Eddie that i know. And i get even more angry after realizing that even knowing you enough, I wouldn’t be enough to be with you.” At this point, i just seemed like a foolish spoiled girl, but i didn’t care anymore, i needed to say everything, all those words. “I know i don’t sound completely sane right now but it is exactly how i feel. And i didn’t want to ruin everything by telling you just so you could open my eyes that i was being delusional and we could never be together.”
He just stood there, without saying a word. You just took deep breaths hoping he wouldn’t think you were too crazy.
“First of all, you heard that i said i was miserable right? That i just accepted Margaret, not because she is Margaret, but because a she was a girl who wanted to do something with me?” You just nodded your head too scared of what would be the next words coming out of his mouth. “Sweetheart i was miserable because Steve talked to me earlier, he said that you wouldn’t stop talking about some guy, and how your eyes would be in heart shape every time you looked at him. And even though i bugged him to tell me who it was he didn’t. I went crazy! I wanted to know why were you into some guy who was probably everything that i was not. I felt like shit, i just took advantage of her. I know it’s not right but i just needed someone who could fuck my thoughts out of me and she was there. Believe me, that moment you saw us, she was not on my head at all.”
You were in shock. You didn’t say anything, you probably couldn’t even blink. Was he really declaring himself back to you?
“And second of all, why lady, why did you think that you were not good enough to be with me? Is very amusing, i’m not gonna lie, the fact that you think that i am good enough for anything.” You were about to interrupt him but he was faster, he just spoke louder than you. “You don’t have the right to tell me what to think of a girl, if she is good enough or not. I decide that, and believe it or not when i tell you that i was the one thinking that i wasn’t good enough for you.”
He caught you by surprise! You didn’t expect to be scolded like that. You didn’t have words to describe what you were feeling and, probably, neither did he. You just kept looking at each other not knowing what to do next.
“We’re really stupid, you know…” You said and he giggled. That sound made you smile. You felt lighter with that.
“What now? What are we going to do?” He said putting his hands in his pockets.
You just wanted to do something so this weird vibe was gone. So you hugged him. It took seconds before he hugged you back. It was even better than the first one.
“Sorry that i turned this into a huge confusion…” You said in a barely above a whisper
“Only if you forgive me too.”
You separated a little just so you could see his face. You didn’t say anything, just leaned into a gentle kiss which he fully accepted. His soft lips met yours and you could feel butterflies flying in your stomach. His hands that once were in your waist came up to your neck. His big hands grabbing and pulling you closer to him. Your hands also traveled and they stopped right on his chest. You could feel his heartbeats and they were faster than ever. That only made you smile into the kiss. Like it was contagious, he smiled too and with that you just separated your lips and leaned your foreheads.
“You guys i NEED to go there and hug you both, so pleeeeease tell me i can just go there!” Robin said. anxious. Of course she was listening to everything.
You and Eddie laughed and called her to come out. After talking about this whole misunderstanding between you two, Robin invited him to have a night with you girls, only this time, it wasn’t about bad events but to commemorate!
#Spotify#eddie munson#eddie munson fic#eddie stranger things#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x you#eddie x reader#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson headcanon#eddie munson angst#best friend eddie#friends to lovers#robin buckley#stranger things#eddie munson x fem!reader fluff#eddie x you#taylor swift#taylor swift fearless
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middle of the night | c.b
colby brock x fem!reader
word count: 2.8k
summary: sleep is almost nonexistent to you. a darkness takes over your mind, but colby is the light you need.
warnings: best friends to lovers, nightmare & gore scene, reader and colby being so oblivious to their feelings (JUST KISS ALREADY GOD.)
a/n: hi guys !! i’m not too sure what this is but i’ve been meaning to write for colby for a while so this is definitely something. i was slightly inspired by middle of the night by elley duhé (the song and the fic are not related in any way. the song just heavily reminds me of colby?) also, this one is slightly darker than my previous ones so read with caution. 🤍 enjoy !! feedback is appreciated.
requested open
not proofread
Copyright © 2023 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.
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you didn’t know when the nightmares started, but when they started they never stopped. they kept you up for hours sometimes, other nights you wouldn’t sleep at all.
it was agonizing, you could barely function during the day. you were beyond fatigued and drained. it has been like this for a couple of years now, and maybe you brought it upon yourself as you had messed with some pretty dark stuff when you were younger without the proper knowledge. you always joked to your friends that you were cursed, but as you grew older you started to believe it yourself.
when your close friends decided to take on the mystery of the paranormal you pretty much refused to have anything to do with it. as you were still dealing with the consequences of your younger self. despite your friends begs and pleads you still kept your walls up high. even the thought of going out with them to these locations made you sick.
but, one day kat came to you fully prepared for rejection but she wanted to rest her case.
“y/n, please. i don’t want to be alone” she begged, following you in the hallway of your apartment as you entered your room saying, “you won’t be alone, sam will protect you, and if he doesn’t colby is there for back up” katrina groaned, standing in your doorway. “you know what i mean. i don’t want to be the only girl.” you finally turned around and your eyes met with the girl. she was pleading silently. you ran your hands through your hair letting out a frustrated sigh,” fine. but if i get touched or I'm uncomfortable at all i’m leaving.” katrina grinned, and threw herself into your arms. “thank you so much, y/n.”
so, there you stood filming a video with your three best friends standing inside the conjuring house. you were doomed.
throughout the night, you felt like you were being watched. heavily. but still, you refrained from telling the guys knowing how excited they were to finally experience this. you couldn’t do that, not to colby at least.
ever since it was confirmed that they were going to the infamous house, he was so excited. you loved seeing that light in his eyes glow anytime you’d mention something related to the work he does. he loves what he does.
but, he loves you even more. he wanted nothing more than to make sure you were safe, especially in a place as dark as this home.
when he noticed your unusual behavior, he pulled you over to the side just to make sure you were okay. “are you sure you’re okay?” his hand lingered on your shoulder a bit too long, but you didn’t mind it. “i’m fine, it’s just a lot” you smiled, trying to assure his worries. “okay, well, if it’s gets to be too much let me know. i’m not going to force you to do this.” he was so kind to you. you nodded, “i know, now let’s go back before they start to miss us”
unfortunately, that night was when colby found out about your night terrors.
it was the early hours of the morning when you arrived back at the hotel, you bid goodnight to your friends and went to your room. both sam and cat, colby had rooms next to you so you were all close by.
you opened your eyes, finding yourself in a dark room. no sound, no light, no sense of anything in this room. just a void. you tried searching for anything just to get out. until out of the corner of your eye you see a tall creature lurking, its jaws unhinged comically, its teeth like a leech, beckoning you closer to its open maw, drool lolled out of its mouth, pooling at the floor.
“no..” you breathed, tears brimming your eyes as your breath thickened. “no!” you screamed. “y/n!!” you heard panicked screams calling out your name and your head whipped around seeing your friends. “no!! run!!” you yelled back, but it was far too late.
your friends scream in terror but make no effort to move as the beast grabs them, tearing into them, blood and entrails hit the floor, splattering onto your face. you were breathless, screaming colby’s name.
you jolted up, gasping for breath as your chest began to loosen. you were covered in sweat, tears staining your cheeks. the loud pounding at your door brought you out of your daze. “y/n?! it’s me, i heard screaming are you alright?” it was colby, you threw off the blankets and walked to your door, unlocked it, and then opened it to reveal a very worried colby.
when he first saw you, his gaze softened realizing that you were okay but then he saw you had been crying, your breathing was shallow and sweat pooled on your forehead. “what is it? what happened?” “nightmare” you croaked, he saw how shaken you were so he entered the room, closing the door behind him.
“shh. you’re okay.” his arms wrapped around you, but his touch only made you cry harder. the fresh image of him being ripped apart was still fresh in your mind. “it’s okay, i’m right here” colby gently rubbed your back, feeling your heaves.
his heart was aching, seeing you in so much pain. colby didn’t expect you to tell him what happened in your nightmare, all he was focusing on was being there for you. “will you stay with me, tonight?“ your voice hoarse from the screaming, you pulled away from his chest looking up at him. “just until i fall asleep.” colby nodded, “of course. i’ll be right by your side”
colby stayed up all night, making sure that if you needed him he was there. plus, it gave him the excuse to admire you. every crease in your skin, the way your eyebrows furrowed as you dream. he wanted nothing more than to hold you tightly, and never let anything harm you again. even the nightmares, he would find a way to stop those. even if it killed him. he never felt like this around anyone, only you. it’s always been you.
that was the best sleep you’d had in years, it has been so long since you had felt this refreshed. you were in the best mood, and everyone noticed but you only said you had a good sleep.
when arriving home, your friends dropped you off at your apartment but colby insisted on walking you in. and who are you to deny him?
“thank you again for last night.” you set your bags on your sofa, and he shook his head. “anything you need, i’m your man” you smiled, “still, it was just a lot. so thank you” “of course, y/n” colby hugged you, squeezed you tightly then pulled away. “call me, text me, or just somehow get in touch with me if it happens again. i’ll be here.” “i’m serious” he added
colby was serious, he cared for you deeply probably more than he should but he didn’t care. “i will, i promise” you grinned. there it was. that grin. it always made him feel fuzzy inside. “good” he nodded.
your thumb hovered over colby’s contact, debating with yourself if you should call him or just try to sleep again. after fighting with yourself, you finally pressed call and held the phone to your ear.
“y/n?” he answered, his voice sounding groggy. you must’ve woken him up. “did i wake you up?” “yeah, but it’s okay. what’s up?” you felt bad, you didn’t mean to wake him up. “i’m fine, just forget about it.”
he stopped you, “was it about her nightmare?” you sighed, “yeah.” “do you need me to come over?” he offered. “no, i’m okay really. just scared me.” “i can come over, i don’t mind at all.” “colby..” you sighed, rubbing your eyes. “i’ll be there in fifteen.”
then, it became a routine. colby spent most of his time at your apartment, not that he didn’t mind, he enjoyed it. it was an excuse for him to see you twenty-four seven. but with his presence, somehow the terrors stopped. when colby was around you felt relaxed, you could rest. you’d lay on the sofa while he sat and watched your tv, or you were in bed and he was right next to you.
at night, when you couldn’t sleep colby, was still by your side. if he was working on editing videos you’d sit up with him and have a movie on in the background. or, if the both of you had nothing to do, you would just talk. talk until the early hours of the morning about anything. from childhood memories to what you two wanted to do in your future.
but one night, colby finally asked why you never wanted to do the investigations with him.
“i just know how bad they can get” you shrugged. he nodded, “i agree, but we always take our precautions. you know i wouldn’t let anything happen to you, y/n” there they were again. those damn butterflies. you nodded, “i know, colbs” you took a deep breath, sitting up. you figured it was better now than never to tell him.
“when i was younger, i went out with some friends to this haunted place. it was dark. like, very dark. and after that…the nightmares started.” you picked at your nails. “it’s the same one, every time. you, sam, and kat. this…thing is there. it’s tall, black and it’s just inhuman. it tries to attack me. but you guys are yelling, telling me to run, and then it..” you pause, you felt heat rush to your cheeks and your eyes started to tear up. “it rips you to pieces..right in front of me..” your voice was breaking as you explained.
he pulled you into his arms as you teared up. “it’s okay. i’m right here, i’m not going anywhere.” he rubbed your back “i promise. you’re safe, i’m safe. i’ll be here, any time, any day, i will come to you”
colby became the one person you relied on, he became your rock.
then he disappeared. vanished. he should’ve said no to her, you needed him. he was supposed to be there, he saw your messages but he was too drunk to help you.
colby regretted that night, he saw your desperation but he couldn’t be there. she wouldn’t let him. he didn’t even know why he continued to see the girl, maybe he thought it was the only way he could ever get over you. but when you stopped texting he thought you were okay now. maybe you didn’t need him after all.
but he was wrong.
your night terrors we’re getting worse, some nights you didn’t sleep at all. you tried all kinds of medication to see if it would relieve your pain. but it didn’t. one night, the dream was bad. worse than it had ever been.
you tried messaging colby, calling him a few times but he wasn’t answering. maybe he was sleeping. whatever it was you’d be okay, you knew you needed to stop being dependent on him. you were a big girl, you had to learn how to deal with your issues.
“hey, kat..” you breathed, picking at your lips. “i know it’s kinda late, but have you heard from colby?” you decided to call up katrina in hopes she could ease your anxiety. “yeah, he said he was going out tonight. a date or something.” “oh..” you hummed, “is everything okay? you sound awful.” she stated. “yeah, i’m good. just needed to tell him something. thanks, kat. i’ll see you soon” you hung up the phone, tossing it on the bed.
why did your heart hurt so much? why did you want to cry your eyes out so badly? you never realized your feeling for colby.
oh god. you loved him. you were in love with colby brock.
no, you couldn’t possibly be in love with him. that’s stupid, you guys were just friends..right? friends took care of each other…friends shared a bed occasionally..right?
you didn’t know how to deal with your feelings, you couldn’t tell him now as he was actively seeing someone or dating. you slowly began to disappear from the picture. maybe if you weren’t around him so much those feelings would slowly fade.
you were wrong.
colby on the other hand was missing you. the date didn’t work out. he wasn’t sure why he even tried dating when he was head over heels for you. maybe he did it not knowing how you felt about him, but now he’s never going to know. you had disappeared, ignoring everyone’s texts and calls. it was very concerning, especially for colby knowing how your night terrors affect your daily life.
everyone started to notice your absence, and it was only a matter of time before sam and katrina persuaded him to finally check in on you.
“you’re the closest to her, colby. it would only make sense if you go” sam argued looking at the brunette boy standing above him. “listen to him, colby” katrina agreed. “guys-“ the girl cut him off. “no, colby. it’s bad. she called me one night when you were out, she sounded like she had been crying. her voice was hoarse. whatever is happening, it’s bad”
that was the push he needed. colby had to see you.
you haven’t slept in a very long time the nightmares have been worse than ever and it has been going on for an unhealthily long time. you look absolutely run down and it’s getting hard to function. some nights you just refused to sleep, it was better to stay awake than to meet the monster occupying your brain. you were sure you had memorized every crack and crevice in your ceiling. you lay lifeless on the sofa, the silence was deafening. you were miserable.
you weren’t sure how long someone was pounding at your door, but you had finally come to your sense and had to answer it. you rose slowly from your position already feeling a migraine forming.
you weren’t expecting to see colby, he was the last person who you thought would show up. “colby..” you uttered.
colby didn’t know what to expect when you opened the door. but, when he saw you he felt sick. your hair was tied up but messy, and your eyes were black and whites bloodshot.
“oh my god y/n…” he croaked, entering your apartment. you sighed, you couldn’t face him. you didn’t want him to see you like this. at your worst. “how much sleep have you been getting?” you shrug, hugging yourself. “an hour” he blinks “a night?” “…this week” the color washed from his face, and he felt dizzy.
he wanted to cry, hold you tightly and apologize for all the pain you’re going through. “why y/n? why are you doing this?” he reached for your shoulder. you reply, “the nightmares are too much. i can’t keep going thru that” he shakes his head, studying you. “why didn’t you tell me?” “i tried, but kat told me you were out on a date and i didn’t want to both you because this is my problem. i need to learn how to go deal with it on my own”
“ y/n l/n, i told you to come to me whenever you were struggling. i care about you.” you finally faced him, you didn’t know what else to say. colby continued, “out of everyone in my life i’ll always care about you most” you feel yourself beginning to tear up, the lady of sleep was taking a toll on your body.
colby gently pulls you into a hug. “i’m so tired. i just want to sleep without being scared” you cry into his chest. he soothes your cries. “you need to sleep, y/n.” you shake your head against his chest, “i cant.” “ill be with you, kay? like old times” he offered, you were reluctant but he lead you to your bedroom and got your bed ready. which hadn’t been slept in for a long while.
your head rested against colby’s chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. he whispers “i’m sorry. i should’ve been here” “not your fault” you hummed, closing your heavy eyes. he rubbed you back gently, you didn’t know if you were just extremely tired or if your feelings for colby were resurfacing again. “i love you, colby” you paused, “i’m in love with you colby brock.”
colby wasn’t able to get a word in, because when he tried to he noticed how your breathing evened out and you were already fast asleep. his heart was now racing, you loved him? you were in love with him? he smiled to himself, kissing the top of your head. “i love you too, y/n.”
#colby brock x y/n#colby x reader#colby brock imagine#colby brock x you#colby brock#colby brock fic#colby brock fluff#colby brock angst#colby brock x reader#colby brock fanfic
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Skz 9th member
Genre: fluff, crack
pairing: platonic!skz x f!reader
warnings: cursing, flirty comments/touches
A/N: Heyy guys...let's ignore the fact that we have been gone for a whole month😃 inspiration hasn’t been flowing at all for us☹️ -Rose✩
When you first joined the group, it was quite hard to fit in. Jyp wanted to make a mixed group. A group that would blow the internet up. Since Chan was choosing the members, he made sure the girl would fit in with the others. It turned out that you were the perfect fit for the group. Singing, rapping, visuals, you had it all. Chan took you under his wing as the oldest, making sure you felt as comfortable as you could get.
The boys were quite nervous around you. I mean lets be honest, its quite nerve wracking to know that a girl is gonna be apart of your group, meaning you have to be respectful, tidy up your space, make sure that the friendship stays platonic. It was hard for some of them of course, having a cute girl in the dorms was definitely exciting but it never bubbled up into something serious.
After a few years of getting to know the boys, writing songs together, practicing, talking.. you got used to them, and so did they. Any suspicion of romantic attraction was thrown out the window in their mind. They saw you as their little sister, besides Jeongin since you’re a few months older then him!
Now you’re probably asking yourself; how do they act around me? Well…
Chan
Very sweet
Most likely a father figure at this point
Has this soft spot for you when you ask for certain stuff
Protective
Everytime the others flirt with you, he kinda just sighs, knowing damn well theres gonna be rumors about that again
He honestly gave up on trying to stop it and just started getting all lovey dovey with you too
Lays on top of you to make you groan in annoyance
Minho
You know how he’s called the butt hunter? Yeah none of that for you
My dude has never touched you inappropriately
Very VERY respectful, even after all these years
Though his mouth still runs when he gets the chance to say something flirty
Ruffles your hair alot
The way he smiles at Han? You get the same treatment
Changbin
Such a silly guy
Honestly just throws you around alot
Head pats
Everytime you’re doing your hair, he kinda sits in the corner just watching you
Not in a creepy way or anything, he just admires the way it falls
Dances the sassiest choreographies with you
Most of the tiktoks you guys have posted are all girl group dances
Hyunjin
Genuinely just melts looking at you /p
Finds you so precious
You know how he has that cute aggression towards jeongin? Yeah expect it to happen to you too
Gets you jewelry alot, just because you mentioned you like wearing it on occasions
Leaves soft lingering touches alot (by accident, like around the waist or neck)
Paints you 24/7
If you’re into art too, you guys would always go out somewhere quiet and just paint the scenery
And if not then you are drawing ugly portraits of each other
Everytime you decide to go out at night without bodyguards for whatever reason, he is always the first to say he’s going with you
No you can’t decline, even Chan says he has to go with you because you could get in trouble
Jisung
Biggest fanboy
Forces you to call him oppa
But you dont, and he whines about it
Most touchy out of all the members
Always has an arm around your shoulder or waist
He just likes to know that you’re close
He might’ve had a crush on you at the beginning of the trainee years
He was gonna take that one to the grave but hyunjin exposed him in a skz code episode once
Now all the stays mess around with him
You guys as a duo get in trouble the most
Absolutely pulls that 'going in for a kiss' move on you
Screams if you lean in
Falls asleep in your bed
Felix
Softie
He has this weird obsession with poking your cheeks
Since the beginning of trainee years, he spent most of his time around you
Mostly because you understood him the best (besides Chan)
Gets so upset if you’re upset
Real bestie behavior
You get in trouble together 2.0
Always takes you out to shopping because you’re most honest when it comes to the clothes he picks out
You guys have this special bond together
Singing karaoke in your bedroom>>
You usually like to pretend to kiss him, he never backs up though which ruins your joke most of the time and he loves it
Cuddles with you the most
Seungmin
His part time job is literally to tease the living shit out of you
Feels the need to be gentle with you
Probably because you’re a girl
You’re not a fan of it
He always gets you your favorite boba flavor
Has seen you cry the most
Has even spend over 2 hours just listening to you vent out your frustrations
You always make flirty jokes but he just pushes you away till you stop saying that shit to him
And if he isn’t pushing you away, then he gets real close to catch you off guard
Even though he always denies it on camera when the others mention it, he gets quite happy when you guys end up having to share a bed in skz codes episodes or other shows
His reasoning for it, is because you tend to wrap yourself around him which comforts him
Jeongin
Makes fun of the fact that you’re shorter then him
Pokes your sides all the time
Annoying Little brother and frustrated big sister behavior
Even though he doesn’t admit it, he wishes you were younger then him so he could take care of you just like the others do
He isn’t a fan of physical touch, so whenever you get too close he playfully looks disgusted
But if you’re in need of touch, he is very willing to give it
If he’s feeling like it, he likes to slow dance on stage at concerts
But he immediately gets embarrassed
It feels good to write something again😋 -Rose✩
#skz#kpop#skz x reader#straykids#stray kids#kpop fanfic#skz imagines#kpop imagines#changbin#han jisung#bangchan#skz leeknow#skz hyunjin#stray kids felix#i.n skz#skz seungmin#headcannons#skz imagine#skz minho#skz han#skz chan#skz felix#skz scenarios#skz fanfic#skz headcanons
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"The not so invisible string" | part 3
not outbreak! Joel Miller x f! Reader
previous chapter | next chapter | series masterlist
summary: you and Joel were made right for each other in the wrong time. Now, thirteen years later your paths crossed when both of your daughters get in trouble at school. Would be the right time for you now?
word count:8k>
warnings: angst, mentions of cheating, fluff.
a/n: Hello! Well, it took me almost two weeks to write something, and it was hard because I had no inspiration, so this is probably my worst piece of writing. However, I hope you enjoy it, The next chapter will be better because I have inspo for that one. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated. Happy reading 💌 You can always send asks or talk to me whenever you want. Again, sorry for the chapter, i promise the next one will be better 😭
masterlist
dividers by @/saradika
When's the exact point in life when you stop feeling excitement for what's to come? Growing up becomes a deadly fear creeping within your bones because there's no more dreams left for you, but you face the cruel reality of life becoming a cycle, a boring idea of waking up to survive the day instead of living it, when you face that the ideas you grew up with died with the years passing by.
But now, as you approached Joel’s place of work, the familiar rush of butterflies and excitement began to creep back in. You felt like a teenager before a first date with the person you like. Just as you were breaking down, Joel came back, pulling you into perspective.
You had recalled the three happiest days of your life: the first time you held Tara in your arms, the first kiss with Joel, and the day you met Joel. Even though the last happened at such a young age, you should have forgotten about them by now.
The car pulled into the parking lot of Joel's workplace, and you took a deep breath to steady your nerves.
Finally, you arrived at Joel's office. The door stood ajar, and you hesitated for a moment before knocking. The sound reverberated in the room, and Joel looked up from his desk, a warm smile breaking across his face.
It has been days since the first time you saw him again, and your heart was getting used to the idea of him surrounding you again.
"Hey," he said, rising from his chair. "I'm glad you came."
You offered a polite smile in return. "Well, you promised me a job or something.”
Joel gestured for you to take a seat. "Absolutely, I'm excited to discuss it with you."
Once you took a seat, he was speechless for a moment once again, his gaze fixed on you, on your hair, on your eyes, on your lips, and all over your face when he used to kiss you all over every time he wanted to, but he dismissed those thoughts away before you could notice he was looking at you that way.
"I've been thinking," Joel began, breaking the momentary silence, "about how we can make this work, about the job, about us working together."
You nodded, waiting for him to continue.
“"I know it's not just a job," he admitted. "It's a sort of chance for the both of us to rekindle our friendship.”
Friendship—how bad he wanted to be the romance.
“So is this a trap?” you asked.
“A trap? No,” he answered. “You know, all this construction stuff is not your cup of tea, but I would really like for you to help me get things organized here.”
“Why?” Your eyebrows frowned.
Joel leaned back in his chair, a contemplative expression on his face. "Because it was you who used to organize my life before, and you’re the most organized person I know.”
Your eyebrows raised slightly at his unexpected compliment, and the nostalgia in his eyes was evident.
"Joel, we need to be clear about our boundaries here," you emphasized, steering the conversation back to the work matter before it led to other things. "I'm here for a job, not to rekindle old flames or revisit the past. We have responsibilities, and our daughters are involved. Let's keep it professional."
He nodded, a faint smile playing on his lips. "I agree. Professional, it is. We're both adults, and I’m your boss now,” he smirked at the last sentence.
You chuckled at Joel's playful remark. "Fair enough, boss. Let's get down to the details, then. What exactly would my role be, and what are the expectations?"
Joel leaned forward, outlining the scope of the position and the responsibilities that needed your attention.
As you settled into the chair, Joel began outlining the job details, providing a comprehensive overview of the responsibilities involved. Your focus remained on the professional aspects of the conversation, but every now and then, a shared glance or a subtle reference to the past hinted at the layers of history between you.
Midway through the discussion, the door creaked open, and you turned to see Tommy entering the room.
"Am I interrupting something?" Tommy asked, glancing between Joel and you. His eyes widened, and a smile broke across his face as he recognized you.
"I can’t believe it!” he exclaimed, pleasantly surprised. "Wow, I didn't expect to see you here. It's been so many years!"
Joel stood up, wearing a grin. "Tommy, I introduce you to our new assistant.”
You extended a hand, but Tommy went straight up for a hug. "I’m really happy to see you again.”
“I say the same,” you replied with a smile, feeling a warmth in reconnecting with Tommy.
Tommy's eyes sparkled with nostalgia. "Well, it's great to have you back in the picture. Joel rarely brings people here, so you know what that means?” He paused a moment to look at you again. "Wow, you look just as beautiful as I remember.”
You exchanged a curious glance with Joel, knowing the implication behind Tommy's words.
Joel rolled his eyes, a bashful grin on his face. "Tommy, stop making it sound like a big deal."
"Hey, I'm just stating the facts," Tommy replied, winking at you. "Anyway, I'll leave you two to your business. Nice to see you again."
As Tommy exited the room, you turned back to Joel, the air carrying a subtle shift in dynamics.
As the conversation progressed, you found yourself immersed in work-related discussions, temporarily setting aside your shared history. The task at hand became the priority, and you delved into the details of the job, determined to establish clear professional boundaries in this unexpected turn of events in your life.
As the weeks passed by, Joel and you got used to your new routine; seeing each other added some excitement back to your life again, and you couldn’t help but feel nostalgia for what you once had been together, bringing back the memories of the past, while the fresh cultivated growth between you added a new purpose to your days.
And as if the present would want to get the memories of your history together as two strings connecting your lives, you came back from a meeting with some suppliers with a scraped knee.
As you limped back into the office, Joel noticed your discomfort and immediately became concerned. "What happened?" he asked, his brows furrowed with worry.
"Just a little accident during the meeting," you replied, trying to play it off. But Joel could see through the facade, his eyes reflecting genuine concern.
He still knew you so well.
“They didn’t hit me, by the way; I fell. Just to clarify” you smiled, as Joel reached for the first aid kit, no long after, he was kneeling beside you, carefully cleaning and applying a band-aid to your scraped knee. The touch of his hands brought back a flood of memories—the innocence of childhood and the way he used to caressed your skin as you grew up.
As he secured the band-aid in place, Joel couldn't help but smile. "Do you remember the first time I did this?" he said, his tone nostalgic.
You chuckled, nodding. "How could I forget? It seems like a lifetime ago."
Joel's gaze held a warmth that transcended time, and in that moment, the lines between past and present blurred. He placed his hand over your knee, and his touch made your skin burn at the contact, but not in an uncomfortable way, but as a warm sensation that only he was able to give.
"Joel,” you whispered.
Joel's touch lingered for a moment longer, his eyes searching yours for a reaction. There was a silent understanding between you, a connection that surpassed words.
"Sorry," he said, withdrawing his hand, a subtle flush coloring his cheeks. "I just wanted to make sure it's secure."
You nodded, feeling a strange mix of vulnerability and familiarity. "Thanks, Joel. For taking care of me.”
A smile played on his lips, and he stood up, disposing of the used bandage. "Anytime, Doe.”
Your hearts kept beating at the same sound and at the same rhythm, desperately finding a way to belong to each other again.
Two days later, in the evening, as you were getting dinner ready for Dwight and Tara, Dwight suggested inviting Joel and Sarah over for dinner since it seemed like you and his daughter seemed to enjoy their presence so much.
“What? Why?” you asked, being caught off guard by the suggestion of having Joel share the same table with your husband.
“Well, it seems like Tara is a good friend with his daughter. Plus, it would be good to know this so famous Joel.”
You couldn't deny the truth in Dwight's words, but the idea of having Joel and Sarah over for dinner still stirred up complex emotions. Not for Sarah, of course. But Joel meeting the man you had settled with seemed so out of touch.
"Why not?" Tara chimed in, trying to reassure you. "It'll be nice having them over."
After a moment of contemplation, you sighed. "Alright, let's do it. But keep it simple, okay?” You turned to Dwight and said, “Please, behave.”
Dwight nodded, giving you a reassuring smile. "Simple it is. It's just a friendly dinner, no strings attached."
You took a deep breath, considering the implications. "Alright, I'll call Joel. But let's keep it casual.”
You dialed Joel's number, and after a few rings, he answered. "Hey, Doe, what's up?"
You smiled at the nickname this time. Since having him back, you were getting so used to his presence that you almost loved that word slipping from his lips.
"Joel, we were thinking of having you and Sarah over for dinner. Just something simple," you explained, trying to keep the tone casual.
There was a brief pause before Joel responded, "Dinner sounds great. We'd love to. What time?"
Joel agreed to the time you offered. You felt painful anticipation and nervousness after hanging up the phone.
+
As soon as you heard a car pulling over in front of your house, your heart rate increased at the nervousness you felt for what could be happening as soon as Joel entered that door. You feared Dwight the most. He wasn’t a bad man, but he clearly was someone different from the person you had married; his recent behavior had been puzzling, almost as if he wanted to drive you away. The thought of potential humiliation loomed, and you couldn't shake off the unease in your mind.
“I’ll welcome our guests,” he said, standing on the couch. You nodded, trying to mask the worry on your face.
As Dwight greeted Joel and Sarah at the door, you took a deep breath, trying to compose yourself in the kitchen. The sounds of casual conversation and laughter echoed from the living room.
You walked there, approaching Joel, who was wearing a really tight smile, trying not to make you uncomfortable.
“Hi!” you exclaimed, trying to erase the shakiness from your bones.
"Hey," Joel replied, his smile mirroring yours, but there was an unease in his eyes that didn't go unnoticed.
Dwight led everyone to the living room, and as they settled in, you couldn't shake off the tension in the air. Tara and Sarah, however, seemed eager to catch up, leaving you and Joel with a shared glance, reflecting the tiny smile at seeing both of your daughters spending time together.
“So, uhm, babe, why don’t you serve dinner? Our guests must be starving already!”
Dwight's casual comment lingered in the air, and you nodded, forcing a smile as you made your way to the kitchen. Joel followed suit, excusing himself from the conversation in the living room.
Once in the kitchen, the atmosphere shifted. You began to cut some vegetables for the salad, the clatter of utensils masking the quiet tension in the room.
Joel, sensing the unease, spoke up, "Do you need help?"
You glanced at him, grateful for the lifeline. "Sure, if you can handle chopping some vegetables."
As you worked side by side, the silence between you spoke louder than words. The weight of unspoken history loomed, and each passing moment felt like a delicate dance on a tightrope.
Joel broke the silence, his voice hushed. "Are you okay?"
You offered a tight smile, avoiding eye contact. "I'm fine. I'm just trying to get through the evening."
He nodded, respecting the boundaries between the two of you. Ever since you two had rekindled your relationship and friendship, you had become more open to him, yet being in your house as the wife of another man was completely different. He felt tense, yet he wanted to be fine for you.
With the vegetables chopped and the dinner done, Joel and you walked around the kitchen as if nothing had ever changed between the two of you. The warmth of shared memories collided with the reality of the present once more.
It was Friday night, and you and Joel stood side by side at the kitchen counter, chopping vegetables and exchanging stories from the day. Joel’s fingers brushed against yours as you reached for spice—a simple touch that sent a shiver down your spine.
As you prepared the ingredients, Joel leaned in, whispering the steps of the recipe in your ear. The warmth of his breath against your skin sent a rush of heat through you. Cooking had never been more enjoyable now than when you were living together, sharing stolen kisses in the middle of a kitchen transformed into a space where time seemed to stand still.
How bad you wanted time to stand still yet.
As the final touches were put on the dinner plates, Joel hesitated, his voice once again breaking the silence. "I never imagined us in a situation like this."
You paused, glancing at him. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, me being in the kitchen with you in the house you live in with your daughter and husband.”
The weight of his words echoed the sentiments you both shared but didn't dare voice. "Well, things change,” you replied, your tone carrying the weight of time passing by.
With the dinner ready, you both carried the plates to the dining table. Everyone sat down, Tara and Sarah sat side by side, and Dwight, seemingly at ease, directed the conversation toward casual topics, creating an illusion of normalcy.
Joel sat across from you, his eyes occasionally meeting yours, looking for an answer.
“So, Joel,” Dwight began, "what do you do for a living?”
“Building contractor,” he replied, a little bit tense.
“Building contractor” Dwight recalled, “We’re calling you when something gets broken.”
Joel chuckled, a nervous smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, something like that. Fixing things is what I do." He mocked.
Dwight nodded approvingly, steering the conversation away from the unspoken tension. "Well, it's good to have someone handy around. You never know when a pipe might burst or a door might get jammed."
“He is a contractor, not your personal Plummer,” you intervened, a little bit tense with Dwight's careless attitude.
Joel looked at you appreciatively, and you could sense his relief at your intervention. Dwight chuckled, a casual dismissal in his tone. "Well, fixing things is fixing things, right? It's all in the same realm."
You sighed inwardly, realizing that Dwight's nonchalant approach was his way of diffusing the tension, but it didn't alleviate the unease in the air. Joel shifted uncomfortably, sensing the delicate nature of the conversation.
“Maybe he could fix that attitude of yours,” Dwight said, swiping his wine as he pointed out your attitude.
You raised an eyebrow at Dwight's comment, with surprise and hurt crossing your face. The tension in the room seemed to thicken, and Joel let out a forced chuckle, attempting to lighten the mood.
"Come on, Dwight," Joel said with a half-smile, "we're all just figuring things out here. There is no need for any fixing, just understanding."
Dwight leaned back in his chair, a playful glint in his eye. "Fair enough, fair enough. I can take a joke. But seriously, Joel, you're welcome here. Just promise you won't go stealing my wife without a warning.”
Joel's forced chuckle faded into an uncomfortable silence as Dwight's comment took an unexpected turn. The atmosphere in the room became more palpably strained, and you exchanged a quick glance with Joel, recognizing the need to address the comment delicately.
“Tara, can you and Sarah go upstairs, please?” you pleaded. She immediately understood and took her friend with her upstairs.
Once they were out of sight, you turned to Dwight. “Stop behaving like an idiot in front of others,” you warned.
Dwight's playful demeanor shifted as he met your stern gaze. The air in the room carried the weight of your warning, and for a moment, the unspoken tension became more palpable.
"I was just trying to lighten the mood," Dwight responded, attempting to downplay the situation.
"Well, then lighten the mood without making inappropriate jokes," you countered, your voice firm.
Joel, who had been quietly observing the exchange, nodded in agreement. "She's right. Let's try to keep things civil and avoid unnecessary complications."
Dwight sighed, realizing he had crossed a line. "Fine, fine. I'll tone it down. No more jokes.” He paused for a moment, not looking at you. “But I would like to know why my wife hides that you are actually her boyfriend.”
The room fell into an uneasy silence as Dwight's question hung in the air. You felt the weight of his words, and Joel's eyes met yours.
“Actually, I think I better be going. It’s getting late,” Joel spoke, meeting your watered gaze.
“No, you’re not,” Dwight warned. His expression remained firm, and he spoke with an authoritative tone. "Joel, you're a guest here, and we should resolve this now. We're all adults, and we can handle an honest conversation."
Joel hesitated, caught between the desire to avoid further conflict and the weight of the unspoken truths that lingered in the room. He glanced at you, silently seeking guidance. You took a deep breath, recognizing the need to address the situation.
"Dwight, we need to handle this with care," you urged, your tone calm yet firm. "Joel has the right to leave if he feels uncomfortable. We can discuss things more openly when tensions have cooled down."
“I want to know why you lied to me about it,” Dwight said to you.
In your nervousness, Joel noticed you were uncomfortable. He reached for you to touch your shoulder in order to make you feel better, but before he could come closer, Dwight intervened.
“Don’t touch her,” Dwight warned.
Joel withdrew, a frown forming on his face, but he respected Dwight's demand. The room fell into an uneasy silence as the unspoken complexities of the situation continued to unfold. The need for a careful and honest conversation was evident, but the challenge was maintaining a level of respect and understanding in the face of rising tensions.
"We need to talk about this," you said, your voice steady. "But let's do it when we can all approach the conversation calmly and with an intention to understand, not to accuse."
Dwight nodded, his expression still stern. "Fine, but we will address this. No more hiding."
+
Later, as you and Dwight prepared for bed, the weight of the unspoken conversation loomed over you. Dwight, however, was not ready to let the matter rest.
"Before we go to sleep, can we talk about this?" he asked, his tone earnest.
You hesitated, fully aware that addressing the issue in your current emotional state would only escalate matters further. Instead of responding directly, you began gathering a few belongings, making your intention to spend the night in the guest room clear.
"I just need some space tonight," you explained, avoiding eye contact. "We can talk about everything in the morning when we've had time to think."
Dwight's expression shifted between frustration and concern. "I just want to understand, to know the truth."
"I know," you replied, your voice softening. "And we will talk. But not tonight."
“You’re married to me,” he called out before you stepped out of the room.
You turned to face him, your expression displaying frustration. “And?”
“You own me respect,” he stated.
“Respect must be earned, and right now you are acting like an idiot,” you acknowledged, your voice steady.
With that, you left the room, leaving Dwight to contemplate his behavior. Right now, you felt your marriage was dying little by little, and you wanted nothing more than just freedom.
+++
The next morning, there was a palpable sense of tension in the atmosphere. As you prepared for the day, the weight of the unresolved talk with Dwight hung heavy in your mind. He was nowhere to be found during the morning, so you get ready for the day.
After a restless night, you decided to head into work, hoping that a change of scenery and a return to routine might provide a necessary distraction. As you made your way to Joel’s office, you noticed Joel sitting with quiet contemplation in his eyes.
"Morning," you greeted, offering a tentative smile.
"Morning," Joel replied, his expression mirroring the unease in the room.
"Oh, I just wanted to say sorry for last night," you began, choosing your words carefully. " Dwight's attitude was completely
Joel shook his head, a small smile breaking through. "It's not your fault. Beside, I can handle a bit of tension."
You appreciated his understanding with a tiny smile.
“Did you sleep well, though? You seem restless,” he pointed out.
You sighed, acknowledging the toll the previous night had taken on your peace of mind. "Not really. The atmosphere was a bit... tense."
Joel's gaze softened, understanding the weight of the situation. “Well, I’m sorry for being back in your life,” he joked.
“Don’t say that,” you tilted your head. “You’re the best thing that happened to me this last time.”
Joel's smile widened at your words; the tension in the room was momentarily replaced with a warm exchange. "Well, if that's the case, I'm glad to be back." He paused and said, “Take your time. Relationships are like construction projects. They need a solid foundation and careful planning."
With a chuckle, you responded, "You would know, being a building contractor and all."
As the day unfolded, you found yourself grateful for Joel's presence and the brief moments of levity he brought. It was a reminder that, amidst the uncertainties, a supportive connection could make the uncharted territory feel a bit less daunting.
+++++
“By the way, Sarah called me; she and Tara are going to my house to finish this school project,” Joel told you.
A sense of relief washed over you as Joel shared the news about Sarah and Tara. It provided a welcomed diversion from the complex situation you had at home.
"Oh, that's great," you replied, a genuine smile forming. "At least they have each other's company. I hope the project is going well."
“It’s great how they became friends so easily. It reminds me of us,” he said, smiling.
You couldn't help but smile at Joel's observation. "Yeah, it does, doesn't it?”
Joel nodded in agreement, a nostalgic glint in his eyes. “Okay, so you’re free to go; I can drive Tara home once they’re done with the project.”
You nodded appreciatively at Joel's offer. "That would be great, thanks. And thanks for being here, Joel," you said, expressing gratitude for the fresh air he had offered you since he became part of your life again "It means a lot."
Joel nodded, a reassuring presence. "Take your time, and remember, I'm just a call away if you need anything. We'll get through this."
“See you later, then?”
“See you later, Doe”
+++++
Once you arrived back home, Dwight was there. The tension already felt like a string around your neck, suffocating you all over.
As you stepped back into the house, the familiar surroundings felt charged with tension. You both exchanged a cautious glance, each aware of the elephant in the room. Dwight, however, seemed to be avoiding the topic, engaging in mundane conversations through his phone with someone else.
After some time, when you could no longer bear the unspoken tension, you decided to address the elephant in the room. "Dwight, we need to talk about last night. We can't just ignore it."
He sighed, a subtle avoidance in his eyes. "Can't it wait? I've got a work trip coming up, and I need to get everything sorted."
You raised an eyebrow, a mix of frustration and disbelief in your expression. "A work trip? You're leaving for the whole weekend?"
Dwight nodded, his gaze drifting away. "Yeah, well, I’ll come back next Friday. It's a last-minute thing. I need to handle some important projects. It came up unexpectedly."
The timing felt convenient yet suspicious. The air thickened with unspoken questions, but Dwight continued to divert the conversation away from the pressing issues.
"Dwight, we can't keep avoiding this," you insisted, your voice firm. "We need to address what happened."
"I know, I know," he replied, a hint of impatience in his tone. "But I've got to leave now, and I need to get some rest. Can we talk when I get back?"
The evasion felt deliberate, leaving you frustrated and with a sense of urgency to address the unresolved matters. However, faced with the impending work trip, Dwight's departure seemed inevitable.
"Fine," you reluctantly agreed, though the unease lingered. "But when you get back, we're talking about this. No more avoiding."
Dwight nodded, though his expression remained distant, but still he pecked your lips.
“Take care, and take care of Tara,” he said before stepping out of the house.
You were left there in the middle of a living room that felt colder as the days passed by. You have never felt so small in your life as you were feeling now, living under the same moon as Dwight, and that thought alone made you sick.
Every time sadness overcomes you and salty tears stream out of your eyes, you take out your memory box and look at the pictures of your older self, the one who thought she knew everything, the one who thought she knew herself without her half. Every single time you came across those memories, it was Joel, the one beside you, looking at you as if you were hanging the moon in the sky, and you smiled.
When you looked at the pictures of him, you were relieved by the words and the kisses, and suddenly all the space surrounding you was full of him. You had come to terms with the fact that you weren’t complete without him; he lived inside you because he made you feel complete; he taught you how to love and be loved and how to know you were worth the world; and after him, you accepted that you were never going to be that foolish girl again.
But now, you were in front of his door, hesitating and gathering the courage to knock on the door and face the what if, and when Joel opened the door with surprise on his face, you were him, and he was you.
"Oh. You’re not a pizza guy,” he said, with evident surprise in his voice.
You managed a small smile at Joel's observation, appreciating the brief moment of levity. "No, not the pizza guy. But I was alone at my house, and I thought I could stop by and take Tara home.”
“Actually, I promised the girls a pizza; we were just about to.“
"Oh, okay, I can come later,” you interrupted, feeling ashamed of the sudden feeling you have to be closer to him again.
“What are you talking about? Of course, no, come here,” he said, moving from the door entrance to allow you to step into his house.
This was the first time you were here, and you couldn’t help but recall all the features of Joel that made him him. How those tiny objects and decorations around his house told the story of him, and how would it be if you didn’t leave that night?
“Such a cozy home.” You emphasize the word home since this one felt like one.
Joel smiled warmly at your compliment. "Thanks. I try to make it feel like home. Come on in; make yourself comfortable."
Suddenly, his hand traveled to your waist, guiding you through his house, and the air was cut from your lungs. Your eyes met for a second, and his hand left his spot; however, his handprint still burned.
However, Joel guided you toward the living room, where Tara and Sarah were eagerly setting up the table for their promised dinner. The girls looked up, their faces lighting up with surprise and excitement.
"Hey, look who's here!" Joel announced, his tone cheerful as he entered the living room with Sarah and Tara. The girls greeted you warmly, their excitement contagious.
“Mom? What are you doing here?” Tara asked, walking towards you to envelope you in a tight embrace.
You hug Tara and say, "I thought I'd drop by and join you guys for pizza." You lied.
I felt alone; you thought for yourself only.
Sarah chimed in, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. "Are you staying for the movie night too?"
You looked at Joel curious; he still had Friday's movie night. “I supposed,” you answered, still looking at Joel. “Can I?
"Absolutely,” Joel said, not taking his gaze away from yours.
“What about my dad?” Tara asked, “Is he okay with this?”
“Well, he left for a business trip, so we are alone for the weekend,” you replied.
And before more questions could be asked, the doorbell rang.
“The pizza, I’ll go for it,” Joel announced, disappearing from your view.
“Mom, are you okay?” Tara asked, concerned.
You gave Tara a reassuring smile. "I'm okay, sweetheart. I just wanted to spend some time with you and have a fun movie night."
Tara nodded, still showing a hint of concern. "If you ever need to talk or anything..."
"Thank you, Tara. I appreciate that," you replied, grateful for her caring nature.
As Joel returned with the pizza, the evening continued with shared laughter, conversation, and the simple joy of spending time together. The movie Night became a bridge connecting the past and the present, offering a glimpse into the potential for renewed connections.
The living room, adorned with warmth and laughter, and everything between you and Joel felt so natural as if time didn’t pass by.
You didn’t notice, but Tara paid attention to the both of you with a smile on her face. This exact moment was the picture she had always imagined of a happy family. A happy mother, a father who didn’t need to utter words to show the love he felt for the woman beside him, because she saw in Joel’s eyes the way he looked at you as if you were the brightest star in the sky, that man loved you, and she felt at ease.
“You know, you can stay the night." Joel offered you, once Sarah and Tara fell asleep in Sarah’s room, “You can take my bed and I can take the couch.”
You hesitated for a moment, weighing the implications of Joel's suggestion. It was completely fine for a pair of friends, but you weren’t just that, and you both know that behind all the reconnection, there was addiction to something you couldn’t possess.
"I appreciate the offer, Joel," you replied, a soft smile playing on your lips. "But I should head to my house.”
“But you don’t deserve to go to a lonely house,” he said, trying to plead with you about the idea of spending a night with you under the same roof. He started to feel a joy inside his gut, all his feelings hidden there.
You could sense concern in Joel’s voice and see the pleading dancing in his eyes, but saying yes to him felt like steeping into fire. You still saw in Joel all the habits he picked up from you, being the pleading eyes one of the things you remembered the most, and now you could understand the implications of what your departure did to him.
His heart broke in two, just like yours.
"I appreciate the concern, Joel, but I don’t think it is fair to you," you said, your voice gentle.
“Please?” He pleaded again, his eyes sparkling so much that you could follow the light on them.
“Okay, I’ll stay.” You gave up; you couldn’t say “no” to him so many times.
You saw his dark brown eyes twinkling as he nodded, smiling at your answer.
"Thank you," Joel whispered, breaking into a small, relieved smile.
You followed him into the familiar surroundings of his home; every step felt like discovering a new way back home. A sense of warmth enveloped you, making you feel protected and comfortable in Joel´s presence.
Once you stepped into his bedroom, you took a seat on his bed, and a wave of nostalgia washed over you. The familiar scent of Joel was all over the space that you could navigate inside this wall blindfolded, and the comforting presence of him felt like a step back in time.
Joel, sensing something dancing in your eyes, opened his closet and pulled out a set of comfortable clothes. "Here, you can wear these for the night. They should be comfortable enough."
“Oh my god!” you said, looking at the shirt Joel had lent you. “You still have this?” you asked him, in awe.
Joel chuckled, the warmth of shared memories evident in his eyes. "Yeah, I kept it. It's been tucked away in the back, but I figured it might come in handy tonight."
Your fingers traced the fabric of the shirt. "I can't believe you still have it. It feels like a lifetime ago."
He smiled, a nostalgic twinkle in his eyes. "Some things are hard to let go."
For a moment, time between you stopped, and for a moment, you were still able to see the sunlight through his hair in the morning and how he sounded when he laughed. And you hoped you didn’t damage his heart that much.
"Thanks, Joel. It's been a while since I wore something from your closet." The soft fabric of the shirt still carried a subtle scent of Joel that brought back a flood of memories.
He chuckled a hint of nostalgia in his eyes. "Yeah, it has. Well, I'll let you get some rest. Goodnight, Doe."
Doe
You allowed him to call him Doe this time, pretending he was still yours and you were his.
"Goodnight, Joel," you replied, changing into the borrowed clothes. The fabric held a hint of his familiar scent, adding an extra layer of comfort as you settled beneath the covers. The bedroom door closed, leaving you in the soft embrace of memories as sleep gradually claimed you.
However, the soft glow of the moonlight spilled through the windows as you lay in bed and witnessed your sleeping trouble as you tried to find solace in the familiar surroundings of Joel’s room.
It was different. Sleeping in a bed with the scent of the man whose presence allowed you to sleep wasn’t the same when he wasn’t next to you, letting you rest your head on his chest.
So, as sleep proved elusive, and after tossing and turning for what felt like hours, you decided to go downstairs, hoping Joel was awake.
As you descended the stairs, the hushed sounds of the night filled the house. The soft creaking of the floor under your weight was the only disruption to the silence. When you reached the living room, you saw Joel sitting on the couch, his gaze fixed on an old photo album.
He seemed lost in a sea of memories, unaware of your presence. You stood there for a moment, observing the emotions playing across his face as he traced the images with his fingers, as if he were savoring the past with his fingertips, trying to bring it back.
When he finally noticed you, a small smile curled his lips. "Couldn't you sleep either?
You shook your head, joining him on the couch. "Too many thoughts."
He nodded in understanding, closing the photo album. "I get it."
Back in time, Joel had the advantage of taking your heart when it was still a blank canvas expecting to be painted on. He took it so delicately and caressed it with such care in order to never hurt you. He made you love him so much that once he wasn’t in your life anymore, you didn’t know where to put his love anymore.
It never left.
Joel's gaze remained fixed on the closed photo album in his hands. "Sometimes, I wish we could go back," he admitted, his voice a soft whisper.
You sighed, the ache of longing settling in your chest. “Back when?”
"When we were young and foolish, everything felt so alive."
As you looked at Joel, his eyes held a warmth that transcended the years. "We can't change the past, Joel," you said, your voice gentle. “The past made us what we are now.”
“Yet it cost me to lose you,” he said.
You took a seat beside him on the couch; the distance between you measured not in physical space but in the vast expanse of years and the unspoken words that lingered in the air.
"I lost you too," you replied, your voice a whisper. The weight of the shared regret hung between you, a palpable reminder of the choices that had shaped your lives. "But maybe, in losing each other, we found different paths, different versions of ourselves."
Joel's gaze remained on the photo album, his fingers tracing patterns on the closed cover. "Do you ever wonder about what we could have been?”
"Always," you confessed. "But you don’t lose me at all; I’m here again.”
A small smile played on Joel's lips. His fingers gently cupped your face, his touch a tender exploration of the years that had etched themselves on your skin. His thumb traced the contours of your cheekbones, a soft caress that spoke longing and love.
Leaning in, Joel brought his forehead to rest against yours, the closeness of your proximity stirring memories of when you belonged together. The air between you crackled with unspoken emotions, and inside your chest, you felt your broken heart patching together, with such a burning desire to close the distance between the two of you.
His lips hovered close to yours, a breath away, the pull of history and the magnetic force of shared affection urging him forward. The world outside the quiet living room ceased to exist, and you found yourself caught in the gravitational pull of an unfinished story.
But even when the kiss could rewrite the story, you weren’t a cheater. You heart raced, but your mind stopped doing something stupid and naïve.
Before you could make up your mind completely, Joel pulled back, his eyes searching yours. The unspoken words lingered in the air.
"Does he treat you right?" Joel's words hung in the air, a mix of genuine concern and a hint of vulnerability in his eyes.
You took a moment, your gaze meeting his, and there was a silent conversation between you two.
"In some ways, he's everything I need. In others, he's a puzzle I'm still figuring out." You answered.
Joel nodded, avoiding your gaze as he felt his heart break all over again for you.
“When I found out I was pregnant,” you began, “Dwight and I were dating. It had been only three months, and couples aren’t parents in such a short time.” You paused for a moment, hoping for Joel to look at you again, and when he did, you continued, “I was scared, but he was so nice to me at that moment, and by the end we were over the moon. At least I was happy I was going to have a baby girl. When Tara was born, we moved in together, and long story short, we got married because it seemed correct at the time.
“And?” Joel asked, trying to figure out when your life becomes different, but he still knew by the way your eyes looked that not everything was as fine as it seemed.
“He was an amazing husband and friend; it almost made me forget about the broken heart I had because of you. But these last four years with him had been complicated,” you continued, a touch of vulnerability in your voice.
“How?”
"Just because he is different from me. It’s like he is plotting for an ending and Tara is noticing, and it felt so humiliating to have your own daughter notice her father doesn’t love her mother.”
Joel's gaze softened for a moment, and before asking a question, he was scared to ask, “And do you love him?”
Your eyes widened at the sudden question, and a moment of hesitation hung in the air. You took a deep breath before answering.
"It's not that simple," you admitted, your voice carrying uncertainty and honesty. "I care about him, but..."
“But what?”
“You know what.” You said it in three simple words, and he understood.
It cost so much to keep love from going wrong, but between you and Joel, there wasn’t a particular ending. The lovers between you both never went wrong; neither expired because you were still hungry for each other's devotion. But now that it seemed like time had become your enemy, you weren’t young enough to break free and run as you could have done it before.
“I love you,” he said. “Never stop doing it.” His voice resonated as someone who spent years and years yearning for the touch of their lover.
“I’m sorry,” you confessed, not avoiding saying the three words back to him; he didn’t need to hear them. He already knew you loved him back as much as he loved you. “For the way I left you,”
Joel's gaze held relief and understanding. He knew somehow you had healed from those wounds. "I don't blame you, Doe. We were young, and life threw challenges at us. I've had my share of regrets too.” He reached out, his hand finding yours, and they still fit together as one. “Now, can we please be friends again?” he pleaded.
You nodded, a faint smile playing on your lips. “Now that you’re back, I couldn’t let you go.”
Joel's eyes sparkled with a newfound light, and he suggested, "How about we watch a movie until you fall asleep?"
You agreed, and together you settled on the couch. The living room was bathed in the soft glow of the TV screen, casting a warm ambiance that seemed to cocoon the two of you in a world of shared moments.
As the movie played, the silence between you held a comfort that transcended words. Joel shifted, creating a makeshift pillow with his arm, and you found a natural spot on his chest. The rise and fall of his breath became a soothing rhythm, lulling you into a sense of peace you hadn't felt in a long time without pills.
Joel looks down at your sleeping figure on his chest, with your hand grasping the gem of his shirt. He was starved by your touch, wanting nothing but to trace patterns on your face as he used to. Your soft expression lines told the story of how the past and present went from here. That there’s no one he could call home, and you could never leave home completely, and how easy it would be to be young again.
And he looked at the ring on your finger, a reminder that you weren’t his anymore, and how easy it was for someone to feel hungry by something that was forbidden. Yet he thought about the ring he still had with him, still waiting to find its way to your finger.
You were the kind of love he couldn't find on someone else's body. Your touch, your lips, and every single inch of your skin were the starvation Joel was deprived of, and now you were his forbidden fruit.
Nevertheless, under the dim light of the TV screen, your face was glowing in a soft golden tone that sent Joel to sleep, but he was holding his dream in his arms for the first time after so long.
When the morning sun gradually painted Sarah’s room with the soft hues of the warm sun, Sarah and Tara descended the stairs, their steps cautious not to disturb the tranquil air that enveloped the living room.
As they reached the bottom of the staircase, their eyes fell upon you and Joel, still intertwined on the couch, lost in peaceful sleep. Tara's eyes sparkled with genuine happiness at the sight of her mother and Joel holding each other like that.
Sarah couldn't help but notice Tara's radiant smile. "Why are you smiling so big?" she whispered to her.
Tara motioned toward you and Joel, the affectionate way in which you two held each other not escaping her keen gaze. "Look at them,” she said, still smiling.
Sarah raised an eyebrow, a teasing grin forming on her lips.
Tara nodded, her smile unwavering. "This is the first time I have seen my mom at peace.”
Tara’s gaze was still fixed on the pair on the couch. "Maybe Joel can bring that peace back to my mom’s."
Sarah chuckled, giving her friend a playful nudge. "Are you saying we should ship your mom and my dad?"
Tara rolled her eyes, but her smile remained. "I'm just saying if they make each other happy, why not?"
Weekend passed by and Tara asked no questions about why did you fell asleep on Joel’s chest, she clearly knew the answer to that question yet she didn't judge you, since she was a little girl, she noticed each sacrifice you had made for her and how you had distributed all the love you had inside your heart to her.
How bad she wanted for you to be brave enough and get divorced from her father.
So, when Monday arrived, the weight of the tension between you and Joel seemed to shift. The echoes of the weekend lingered in the air. This time, you both look happier, acting as friends, laughing together and sharing time as you kept your role of assistant.
So, before lunch and after you finished with the work Joel had left for you while he was out, you decided to go and buy lunch for him and you to share, after all you would arrive to an empty house since Tara would be still at school and Dwight was in a business trip, you didn't want be left alone with your thoughts in an empty house that seemed to become colder as the day passed by.
You buy a bottle of lemonade, and two burgers with French fries, hoping for Joel to still being number one of them. You weren’t used to come to this part of the city, but this time you stopped in order to bring the burgers and fries you wanted to share with Joel.
However, once you paid, the corner of your eye caught a person you didn't expected to see. There was Dwight, who was supposedly in New York until next weekend, buying food here. You turned away for him not to notice you, then you decided to follow him to see find out what was happening.
So, when you followed him, you stopped a little away and saw him happily taking a little girl around four years old in his arms as he kissed her temple with so much love you never saw him share with Tara, and what was next was a woman around the same age as you joining them with a smile on her face and you heart stopped.
She kissed Dwight on his lips, as both of them looked at the little girl smiling happily in the arms of your husband.
A surge of emotions tightened in your chest as you witnessed the scene unfold before your eyes. The knot of anxiety and confusion grew with each passing moment. The woman with Dwight, the affectionate exchange, and the child—all pieces of a puzzle that didn't fit into the life you thought you knew.
As the trio walked away to the car, laughter and joy enveloping them, you were left standing there, alone with the weight of a shattered reality
You felt humiliated. There were your answers. The four years of odd behavior, the four years of plotting against you, his sudden trips, his careless attitude towards you.
all the way, Dwight had made you and Tara move to Austin just for him to be closer to his other family, the secret one.
tags 💌: @joeldjarin @missladym1981 @yomiyasxx @aliengirl99
@lola8888673 @nottodaysattan @picketniffler @violinchick
@sadgirlcheesecake @caitlynsixxx
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#pedro pascal character fanfiction#joel miller series#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller#joel miller imagine#joel miller angst#tlou fanfiction#joel the last of us#joel x reader#Joel Miller#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal fanfiction#the last of us#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascar character imagine#pedro pascal
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I was one of the Chilean winners to meet Paul McCartney and go to his soundcheck. My experience.
Well fellas, it's been a long time since i posted here and what can i say, i just wanted to give u the good news! As u read it, i had the chance (next to other people, 9 great fellow fans) to hug paul and share few minutes with him (As i write this all what i experienced feels unreal) I'm the one wearing the sgt pepper's suit btw!
I don't remember too much about the whole day, but the soundcheck was AMAZING, he played temporary secretary, mrs Vanderbilt, Let em in and Coming up!!it was CRAZY. Bf the soundcheck was over we were taken to another place in the stadium where we waited few minutes, and we talked with Stuart Bell (((((i joked a bit with him about he having the dream job and the possibility of k1ll1ng someone to be part of Paul's team and he told me 'HOW!? IT WAS A SECRET I TOLD U! ))))😂 Stuart is Paul's tour manager and we met his photographer and cameraman.
To be brief, let's jump right into meeting Paul, where do i start??? HE'S THE MOST ADORABLE MAN EVER, as soon as i saw him my eyes turned into waterfalls, my heart skipped a beat and all the memories of me binge watching videos and interviews of The Beatles crashed in my head. He greeted all the other winners and i didn't notice i was almost the last one, i was so shocked, too paralyzed to even say something, other winners told me Paul said something like 'Oh darling come on' and i just went slowly as i could to be near him and get a hug. I swear won't forget that moment. I HUGGED A BEATLE LIKE WHAAAAAATTT THE ACTUALLL HECKKK!!!! He share few words with everyone while the cameraman recorded everything. I feel that we were with him like 5 minutes but they -believe when i tell you- FELT LIKE 2 SECONDS. Then we took an official photo with Paul (which i'm kinda sad to receive bc i know my sgt peppers suit was totally hide behind two other girls who won, but hey, i'm in the same pic with Paul and that's enough!!) and lastly i had the chance to show him a bit of my work, i ordered some badges and stickers with my Beatle illustrations that i put on my suit and explained him stuff that i can't remember right now :'( But this is what finally made me lost my mind (internally bc for everyone is was just crying) LISTEN LISTEN, HE SAID MY WORK WAS """IMPRESSIVE""" AND HE TOUCHED THE STICKER WITH THE JOHN LENNON PORTRAIT I HAD ON THE SUIT, HE- TOUCHED- ONE- OF- MY- PORTRAITS AND HE RECOGNIZED THAT IT WAS JOHN READING SPANIARD IN THE WORKS. FFS, as i write this i start to sob. Then in a rush we sang the spanish version of 'Besame Mucho" a.k.a Cha Cha Boom song 😂 and then we all said goodbye as we could, waving, screaming, and in my case, crying hard af.
I really really hope to have a chance too see him in concert again, i know that the chance to be THAT near to him again, a literally walking legend, is almost impossible (as impossible as it feel the first time) i know i'm a lucky girl, and my life changed just having the chance to be in the same room with him. I won't be over this, there's now way this feels less exciting over the years. I was one of the few people that had the opportunity to be to his side -even if it was for a minute- and nothing is going to change that.
I have big dreams ahead, and i hope i'm able to accomplish every one of them. After hugging Paul everything feels possible.
If you like my art, know that i feel more inspired than ever before and i hope u can follow me on this journey🩷
Love, Dei.🩷
Ps, all the winners and i are expecting the video of everything, so as soon i as get it i'll try to share all the bits where i'm interacting with Paul (i hope with my soul that our hug is recorded and that his team doesn't cut that while editing the clips)
#got back tour#paul mccartney#mpl studios#the beatles#beatlemania#classic rock#art#john lennon#john and paul#paul and george#pattie boyd#ringo starr#sgt peppers lonely hearts club band
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Chapter 8 has been posted - but before everyone goes to read, a little bit of an announcement on my end:
This is going to be my last longer Mapi/Ingrid story, and probably the end of me being super active/posting on ao3 and tumblr. I might write the occasional story here and there, but writing is not bringing me the same joy it once was and I want to dedicate my time to other things. I’ll still be around reading on ao3 and somewhat on Tumblr, but I just won’t be posting a whole ton on either. I’ve been so incredibly lucky to get to know all of you guys on here, and to receive so much love for my work. It means the absolute world to me - and thank you all so much for welcoming me into this little community so wonderfully! I hope the stories I wrote were able to bring just a little bit of happiness when you guys needed it (even if I constantly left everyone on cliffhangers - I truly am sorry about that).
The rest of this is long, and you don't have to read it if you don't want to, you can just go ahead to the story now if you would like. I'm not known for my ability to keep concise, that is for certain. If brevity is the soul of wit - perhaps we know why my stories aren't very funny!
I’ve especially enjoyed joining tumblr and really finding a little community here. Getting to interact with so many people, both those who read my works and those who don’t, has been such a joy for me. I love getting to hear when people like the things I've written, even if it touches them in a small way. I love getting to interact with so many brilliant minds and am forever in awe of how much amazing talent there is in this little corner of the internet! I've made some incredible friends from getting to be on here, and it makes me so happy to have a little community of people I love. Thank you guys for letting me have space here even if I don’t write reader works or know how this app works most of the time.
I started writing seriously in September 2022 and I can't tell you how much joy it has brought me in the last two years. As someone who doesn't enjoy the college degree they are currently getting, this was such a fun creative outlet for me. It was so cool to have this blank canvas to work with, to weave things together, especially as I began to write longer stories. Writing was a place to destress for me and interact with other people who loved football as I was coming to love it. Every single kudos, comment, and bookmark meant so much to me. Even when it was something silly like someone dubbing the 'Copper Monologue,' it made me feel so seen. Someone cared enough to read enough of my works to pick out the fact that I do that? Absolutely mind blowing to me. It's crazy to hear that people cared about the silly little stories I wrote. When someone told me that I was one of the things to help inspire them to write their own stuff - I think I properly sobbed. It meant more to me than anything has in this entire world, and it still does! Writing has helped me to process, it's helped me to grow, it's helped me learn to identify my emotions and struggles and think through my own thought processes. I hope that maybe for someone out there, it could help them do that as well. It's a little strange for me not to want to do that anymore. Writing this last story solidified to me that for the most part it was time to be done, and HDITA was more of a goodbye than anything else. But even with that, it feels strange not to be thinking of my next idea, thinking of how I am going to create characters and relationships and plot lines.
I think for me right now, I'm just excited to be myself. Maybe this vessel of writing was what I needed to get myself through the last two years. I wrote la princesa when I was at my absolute worst in life, and as I've grown and matured as a person, I like to think that my writing has. I no longer find myself in a place where it fills a huge void in my own life that I once needed.
I've grown a lot as a writer these few years (those who read my earlier works will understand), and I'm excited to one day come back to it, maybe in a different sphere. I love the idea now of writing a real book. It always terrified me before - I didn't know where I would start or if I would be horrible at it. But you all have given me the confidence that maybe at least one person would like it, and maybe that's enough of a reason to try. So thank you all for holding my hand and encouraging me. I hope that if nothing else, everyone remembers that a little bit of kindness on here or ao3 or anywhere on the internet costs nothing, and yet can go a long way.
It did for me.
But enough of my sappy rambling, please enjoy this last chapter of mine. I hope it brings you as much joy as it brought me when I was writing it. Love you all so so much!
Chapter 8 of How Do I Trust Again?
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WHAT HAS GORMENGEIST BEEN UP TO
It's been a while since I talked about game things. I even missed GREED's one year anniversary- but worry not, Thanksgiving is coming up, which is (obviously) GREED's cardinal holiday, so we will do something for that. But in the interest of throwing you all a bone, I want to start talking about my million games in progress, one at a time. Starting with the most finished:
ALL THE ACES
I've already talked about ALL THE ACES a lot, but not for a while! It's a detective noir game inspired primarily by post-war detective fiction like The Third Man and Gravity's Rainbow. The reason I'm excited for it is that I believe TTRPGs are the most energetic medium for a mystery to be in, when done right.
ALL THE ACES borrows GREED's basic mechanics, combat, and overall attitude that the players are scum waiting to be scraped off the heel of the world. The initial impetus for making ATA at all was that I found GREED's system (and especially it's combat- fast, swingy, and deadly) uniquely suited to the sort of mystery stories I wanted to tell, where talking things out was a necessity for survival, and threats of violence are Scary
ALL THE ACES is, as a core rulebook, done. Or at least it's releasable. The thing that I've been dragging my feet on for literally ten months now is writing/finishing its opening mystery module. Anyone who knows me knows that modules are the only part of TTRPG design that does not come naturally to me, and indeed, I find it incredibly irritating. But you can't release a mystery game without a mystery, so some day, I will buckle down and finish it, then release the game.
What I mean when I say "done right" in terms of detective games is that it adheres to three tenants of mystery TTRPG design that I hold to, and have been effective in my experience. Below the cut, design thoughts:
1: The players must intimately understand what is possible. For ATA, this means that there are no supernatural elements.
Magic in a mystery game is only awesome insofar as the players are intuitively aware of how those elements work. In other words, I can't make good deductions if I'm not sure what the bounds of possibility are. There is enough impossibility and uncertainty in mundanity, I think, to run on.
This isn't to say that no good detective game has magic, but that it works best in a game that can first immerse its players in the magic (while not doing detective stuff, long enough to really steep in it) and then drop the pop-quiz, which is what a mystery is! It challenges your knowledge about the world, who is in it, what they want and what can't be done. ATA attempts to smooth this learning curve; We already know how real life works, and this is like that but different.
2: Talking is the action.
This is the thing I'm most excited about. In a noir story, the most tense moments, the biggest payoffs, and the best actions are not gun fights or chases, but conversations. This is the one thing that we, at the TTRPG table, are literally doing. Even when we are are fighting in-game, we are talking in real life. The game is already a conversation. ALL THE ACES wants to give you ammo so that in the main action, it can step back, so you can just talk.
3: You can't do it all (or: there is never enough time).
It is dramatic to split the party, to ask escalating questions, and to fail. So there's a clock, and unless we do something stupid, we are never going to figure this thing out in time. A leisurely mystery is just something you're curious about.
Anyways. All The Aces coming.... eventually!
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As a story teller, what advice would you give to fellow Simmers who want to start a story but struggle?
For example: How did you start story telling and which obstacles did you have to shove out of the way to finally start? What made it easier for you to put yourself out there? Did you gain any personal rewards/benefits by telling your stories? How do you set up a story post? Pics first or plotting the episode? Where do you find inspiration? What did you wish you knew earlier? Or anything else that comes to your mind that could be of any help. I see quite a lot of posts from struggling future story tellers and I thought it would be nice to collect a few tips.
Questions are very welcome too!
(My answers below the cut)
How to actually start:
I do read quite a lot and also watch series and movies - and what really turns me off is an infodump at the beginning. So I try to avoid that. And that also makes it easy to start. All the lore and background stories can happen later and you don't have to plot that out before you start. (Our current story started as a playtest and hundreds of episodes later, we have a lore as deep as the Mariana Trench ö.Ö') So don't let it stop you. It all evolves over time, when you ask yourself: Why did x have to move and go to a new school? Why is y restraining himself to hit on the cute guy? Why is z so annoyed of y and why is he the only one who thinks like this? How do they cope with stuff that happens to them? Why does x react in another way than y on the same event? ... There is a plot behind literally everything if you just take your time and look closely. Like a three year old child: "Why do we eat cute animals?" ö.ö' Showing your character's feelings and why they are who they are also helps you and the reader to form a connection to them. It never ceases to amaze me when story tellers are able to create characters that grow on you even though they are annoying and vulnerable and have flaws. (Like Terry Pratchett for example, or the characters in The Big Bang Theory.)
Which obstacles did you have to shove out of the way to finally start? I have a few obstacles to overcome putting my stories out there. ADHD often keeps me from concentrating and getting things done. It's hard to stick with something when you're distracted all the time. And I have a weird way of thinking. I'm also autistic and writing about feelings and how others think and stuff, is so, so hard for me. My stories are weird because of all of that and I know it. But I think they are quite unique and fun because of that and I wouldn't want it any other way :3 Plus my english isn't very good. Writing in a different language is quite an obstacle to overcome ö.Ö' But I can't write anything in my native language, I even take my notes in english. I have no idea why. Just sounds wrong to me.
What made it easier for me? - starting slowly I started this tumblr over ten years ago to post about my builds. Only a few people saw and liked my stuff so I got bolder and also shared gameplay pics and, after a while, a few stories. - passion I love my Sims, I think that helps a lot. After all these years, I'm still eager to see what they are up to and to tell about their shenanigans and adventures. - keeping expectations low Of you and your audience. It does not have to be perfect and not everyone will like what you do. That's just a fact. You'll get better at your own pace. I think tumblr is the perfect place to start a story, because if someone doesn't like your stuff, they don't have to follow you. - it's an outlet for my creativity. My ADHD brain is running on warp speed. Sitting down and putting some of these ideas and thoughts in a shape and make them real is relieving for me - and exciting! What rewards/benefits did/do I gain? - learning new stuff: I'm still learning english and just a few days ago, I shed tears of joy because I could finally understand an american series without subtitles! Also Photo editing. I kept looking for better ways to edit my screenshots and I learned so much! My Sims even inspired me to craft some stuff in RL ^^' - changing my point of view Telling about 6 different charcters is quite a challenge. Things that happen to them affect them in different ways and they have their own way to cope with stuff. They helped my autistic me a lot to make me see what's going on with people around me and to understand them.
- healing Seeing how the characters in my story cope with hardships and following them through difficult times helped me a lot. I could never express how glad and grateful I am I started all this. But I am. - fun I'm having fun doing what I do. And I think that's the motor that runs this whole thing. I think the readers can feel if you're commited to what you do.
How do I set up a story post? I have a rough idea where the story is going and what's supposed to happen next. Then I go ingame and take the screenshots, my Sims add a few ideas themselves - and I go with it. I write the post around the screenshots and what happened ingame. Like this, it's still surprising and thrilling - even for me, the story teller.
Where do I find inspiration? My brain goes without filters and I need a lot of time to get back on track after challenging days. But this sponge in my head also soaks up so many ideas! I get inspired by anything. Music, series, things I see... Sometimes, that sponge gets squished and I get to see glimpsesof future episodes and I just think 'whoa!' and take notes.
What advice can I give? Use the things that keep you from starting to your advantage - to make your story special and unique. Don't worry too much. Other people don't see things as serious as you might think. Write for your own healing and growth. There are mutuals who will like what you have to tell. You don't have to please everybody. Read others' stories, watch movies/series you like and note what you liked or disliked. That gives you a rough direction of where your story could go (that was a great advice from youtuber Grayson Taylor, link is below).
What I wish I knew earlier? That there are great youtube channels for writers! I know, that's kind of obvious, but I don't feel like a writer. I barely managed to finish school. And I thought those channels might be too sophisticated and dry, you know? But there are aweome ones. Like Grayson Taylor (who is an author) and Bookfox, (who is editor and author), for example.
You'll never know where it leads. Our current story started when I made four of my favourite adult Sims teenagers to check out the Highschool Years pack. That was ~ 2 1/2 years ago - and I hated school from the bottom of my heart, so I was very sure this wouldn't take long and we could go back to our ongoing story (spoiler: we didn't...). And: the first chapters the Boys spent at school were truely healing for me. I didn't plan anything of it ^^'
Don't be afraid. I'm here on tumblr for over ten years and I never got any hate on my stories or the other stuff I post. Though, I turned anon off. You decide what you see on your dash, that's the great thing here on tumblr. You just get as much drama as you invite in. For me, tumblr is my save place and I still say this is one of the best communities I've ever been part of (on and off line). Thank you <3
#writers advice#writers on tumblr#writeblr#creative writing#writing life#ts4#simblr#sims 4#writing tutorial#jack callahan#jeb harris
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Sun to Me
Wednesday Addams x reader
Summary: Wednesday isn't a great girlfriend.
Words: 2.0k
Warnings: none, implied f!reader, reader referred to as girlfriend
Author's Note: angst sorry not sorry. inspired by sun to me by zach bryan,, first fic i've published so any feedback is appreciated!
Pt. 2
When you first met Wednesday, you were absolutely terrified of her. But she had taken an interest in you, from the very beginning, and soon you found yourself laughing at her morbid jokes and thinking about her every night before you fell asleep.
Wednesday would never admit it, but when she couldn’t sleep, her mind would wander to far-off places. She saw your smile, your hand in hers, and she saw a love like her parents had.
Now, half a year later, you feel like you know more about Wednesday than you ever wanted to. You know every last quirk, every microexpression she lets grace her face. You know exactly the way she lights up when she sees you, even if to others it looks like a regular glare. Wednesday lets you sleep in her bed; she lets you braid her hair; she lets you lounge about during her writing time. It’s normal stuff, but it isn’t, because it’s Wednesday. Hell, seeing her smile is rarer than Halley’s Comet, let alone getting into her personal space.
Wednesday doesn’t know why she’s so enthralled by you, but she is. You’re patient with her, even when you probably shouldn’t be, and you jump at the chance to take care of her. It feels good.
“Thank god that’s over,” you say, flopping face-down onto her bed. Thing jumps out from under the covers, scurrying away.
The history exam you’ve just completed was the last one on your schedule — you’re free. For a week of break, anyways. Wednesday had helped you study for it (you flipped through a textbook while she rattled off every piece of evidence she had collected for her newest investigation).
“How did it go?” she asks, standing up from her chair and popping a piece of black licorice into her mouth.
“Bad,” you say, voice muffled. “But it’s over.”
She hums.
“How were yours?” You roll over, watching as she walks over to the bulletin board pinned full of documents and sticky notes.
“Unchallenging.”
That was Wednesday. Always too smart for her own good. “What do you want to do tonight? No homework,” you grin.
“I need to go to Jericho High School,” she says plainly, staring at the board.
Your face falls, even though at this point it shouldn’t. It’s a common occurrence: Wednesday too caught up in her hyperfixation to make time for you or your feelings. You shouldn’t be surprised anymore. You swallow, making sure your voice stays level. “What are you gonna find there?”
She looks over her shoulder, eyes flashing annoyance. “I don’t know. That’s the point of going.”
Right.
The thing is, you can’t blame her. She told you, again and again, that you shouldn’t devote your time or energy to her. For the first few weeks of your relationship, she was a broken record: “this is a bad idea,” “you shouldn’t care about me,” “you’d be better off alone.” You, enamored with her jet-black hair and the dusting of freckles across her nose, had taken it as a challenge.
More and more, you found yourself regretting that.
Then Wednesday says your name, tentatively, and your gaze snaps to her.
“I’m sorry,” she chokes out, the words unnatural in her stony voice. “Was that insensitive?”
You shake your head, putting on a smile. You’re still Wednesday Addams’ girlfriend. You get her heart, at the end of the day. “It’s okay.”
“I’m hoping to find something that points me to the culprit.”
You nod, wishing for her to just drop it. You’d rather move on, figure out plans with one of your friends instead.
“Would you like to do something tomorrow?” Her eyes are hesitant, but genuine, and just like that your heart melts again.
“There’s an art gallery opening a couple towns over,” you blurt, too excited to let this opportunity pass. “We could… drive over and see it?”
She’s turned back to the board. “How long would that take?”
You ignore the slight sting in your heart. “I don’t know, it depends on how long we spend there. We could make a whole day out of it.”
“I told Eugene I’d help him prepare the hives for the next harvest,” she says blankly. “That won’t work.”
It kills you that she can’t concentrate on you for more than a few seconds at a time. Especially since you know that if you were to ignore her in the same way, even just for an hour, she would shut down and close herself off. “Can you at least look at me?”
There’s emotion bubbling up inside of you, emotion that you don’t want to express right now, but she’s facing you.
“I’m working on being more delicate, you know that,” Wednesday says, her voice tight. You know her defenses are up.
“It’s not that,” you scoff, blinking back stubborn tears. “You never try. Do you know how many things I’ve compromised on for you?”
Her eyes flick around the room, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
“The movies, for one,” you say, shuddering at the thought of the true-crime documentaries you’re plagued to watch nearly every night. “The no-touching. The no-compliments. The not-telling-anyone-about-us?”
“You agreed to all of that.”
“Exactly!” you cry. “That’s my point! What have you agreed to?”
Wednesday hates the feeling creeping up her chest. The burning feeling in her throat, the cold dread in the pit of her stomach. That she’s hurting someone she cares about without even realizing it. Again. She wants desperately to make it right, to understand exactly what you want her to do, but the moment you raise your voice, her reflexes kick in.
“I agreed to being your girlfriend!” she says, louder than she meant to.
Your heart sinks into your stomach. She isn’t even trying to understand. “That was that big of a sacrifice for you, huh?”
Wednesday licks her lips nervously, hating the look in your eyes, hating how hurt you are and how angry she is. Now, the thought of a relationship like her parents’ is distant and sickening. She can’t imagine having the patience to communicate with someone for so many years — all she can think about is how much easier it would be to do it all alone.
But then her eyes find yours, desperate and heartbroken and filled with tears, and she wants to tear her hair out.
“I’m not enough for you, I know that,” you say quietly, and Wednesday’s heart twists in a way it never has before. “But I… I just thought you would try.”
She calls your name, reaches out a hand, but you’ve already left her dorm. You rush down the hallway, hoping she leaves you alone and chases after you all at once. The tears are hot down your cheeks, and the lump in your throat just won’t leave. You had trusted Wednesday with your heart. You had given it to her, even though your mom knew and your best friend knew and you knew that you shouldn’t have.
Find someone who grows flowers in the darkest parts of you, your mom would say, whenever you asked her questions about love far too big for a six-year-old. She would tell you that your heart was a treasure, and that someday you’d find someone who bettered you in every single way.
You had known, you had always known that that wasn’t Wednesday. But she kissed you, she opened up to you, she looked at you in ways that said you were the most special person in the world. And for a while, you were. You were the only one who got to know Wednesday Addams. But you had invested too much, and she never changed: the same inexplicable mystery that had drawn you to her was now pulling you apart from the inside out. She wasn’t built for the kind of relationship that you needed, even if she could make your day just by meeting your eyes.
You find your way to your room through tear-blurred vision, thanking the stars above that your roommate had left early to spend break with her parents.
You collapse onto your bed, sobbing. You feel silly, stupid, used, thinking about every sacrifice you’ve made for her and how little she’s done in return. How unfair it is: she’s trying, you know she’s trying, but trying to Wednesday is the bare minimum to you, and you can’t change what you need.
You cry until your head pounds and your throat is raw, and even then you can’t stop picturing her dark eyes and scarce, golden smiles. You hear your mother’s voice in your head. Your heart clenches.
Eventually, you fall into a restless sleep, thoughts racing and palms sweating. You want more than anything to go to Wednesday’s room to rant about all of your emotions, knowing she’s only half-listening, and to persuade her to cuddle with you in bed, to hold her tight.
Nausea comes and goes in waves.
You don’t want to answer the knock at your door, except it comes from low down on the ground, and you’d never turn Thing away.
He’s holding an envelope between his second and third fingers.
An envelope, with your name scrawled across it in messy cursive. Thing drops it and takes a small bow, hurrying down the hall. You pick it up and shut the door with a sniff, wiping your nose. You’ve never been so grateful for deserted hallways.
You rip it open on your bed, entirely unprepared for the rush of emotion that hits you when you smell Wednesday’s typewriter ink.
I can’t say things to your face, but you need to know them, so I’ve decided to write them. If I am a black dahlia, you are a sunflower. You are the sweetest of the sunflowers; you are the sun to me. I loathe myself for every moment I have spent upsetting you. I know that I am selfish, and that you are selfless, and that I hurt you even when I’m not trying to. Sorry isn’t enough of a word.
For my entire life, I believed love was nothing but a weakness to be exploited. I thought people like you, who love and give endlessly into this world, were oblivious to the reality of the world. But then I met you, and you cared for someone who least deserved it. The time of day was more than I deserved, and you gave me so much more than that. You have parted the clouds, you have brought sunlight into my life, you have brought me more joy and peace than I care to admit. And to repay you, I hurt you.
You are the sweetest of the sunflowers, and I will never again let myself forget it. I vow to do my utmost to provide you with everything you desire, if you allow me. I’m sorry, my love.
Wednesday nearly jumps when Thing returns, asking him how you looked and if you took the letter. She waits, bouncing her leg, tapping her fingers, thinking about why time travel hasn’t been invented yet. Her mouth is dry, her heart hammering against her ribs. She’s never been so anxious before.
She barely remembers to smooth out her hair before answering the knock that eventually comes at her door.
“Hi,” you mumble, holding the letter in your hands.
“Hi,” she breathes.
“Do I get another chance?” she asks in a rush. You don’t think you’ve ever heard her this forward.
“I’m out of patience,” you say, and she nods quickly, blinking red-rimmed eyes.
A younger version of you would be reeling at the sight of such blatant emotion on her face.
“Can I hug you?”
Her eyebrows lift, eyes widening ever so slightly.
You can’t stand being mad at her.
Her arms wrap around you tightly, holding you close, her face buried into the crook of your neck. You take a deep breath.
#wednesday addams#wednesday series#jenna ortega#angst#wednesday addams x reader#wednesday x reader#wednesday show#jenna ortega x reader#wednesday
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If You Don't Like My Chemical Romance, Wait Outside For Your Girlfriend
Gerard Way x Reader
-> Masterlist
A/N: Hey!! So… No one asked me to do this, but I remembered an edit that I saw a while ago, and the intro was Gerard saying “if you don’t like My Chemical Romance, wait outside for your girlfriend”. I Had this idea and the urge to write it (because I’m kinda obsessed with Gerard, sue me). Btw, I'm writing a Mikey x Reader Imagine (what was inspired by The Killers "Mr. Brightside" song), so i'll probably post it this week or next... well, hope you enjoy this fic (:
Summary: You have a shitty boyfriend who bother you when you're in a MCR concert. You're in the front row of the show and Gerard notices all that situation. (I imagine this with the 2007 Gerard era, but it doesn't really matter, except for the show's setlist, because it will be songs from Bullets and Revenge).
-Warnings: Abusive relationship. A lot of curse words.
- Word Count: 1.526
- Ps: Idk if it's fluff, confort, angst... i just dont't know lol
- Ps2: I'll not use y/n…
- Ps3: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language ... sorry if i wrote something wrong.
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1st Person POV
My 25th birthday was last week, and my mom gave me two tickets to my favorite band’s concert, one for me and another for my boyfriend. He is not a fan of My Chemical Romance, he’s into electronic music and some country stuff (i’ve never understood his taste in music), anyways, he is coming with me. I spent the whole week talking with my friends about how amazing the concert is going to be and how excited I was.
When the day finally came, I wanted to be one of the first in the row, because even with the premium pass I needed to be sure that I’ll be right in front of the stage.
I heard my name when I was in my room, dressing up as Helena for the concert. I turned around just to see my boyfriend with a mad look on his face.
- You’re really going to dress like this? - The disgust on his face made me feel a bit insecure about the cosplay.
- What’s wrong about it? - I tried to stay calm, even if I was about to scream at him.
- Nothing. But you never wear dresses, neither on my birthday, and I asked you to! - He walked to my bed and sat, sighed sadly and kept talking - I just don’t understand why this is so special.
- We’ve been together for five years, and you don’t understand why going to see the band who saved my life is special? - I spoke calmly, took a deep breath and held my tears. I didn't want to cry on what was supposed to be a happy day.
- I know that means alot for you, babe, but this shit means more than me? - He increased the volume of his voice.
- I… I’ve never said that! - I let his anger infect me, and now I was screaming like him.
- DID YOU FUCKING HESITED?! - He got up and I really thought that he was going to hit me or something.
- WHY DON’T YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE?! I'M TRYING TO GET DRESSED! - At this point, I let my tears pumped out my eyes, accepting the fact that I'll need to redo my makeup.
- FINE! - He slammed the door, leaving me alone in the silent room.
I knew the night wasn’t going to be as good as I planned.
*** time skip***
Arriving at the concert venue, my boyfriend parked the car next to the front door and we got out of the car. I saw just three people. We did it! We were ones of the first to be there.
- Oh my God! I loved your outfit! - The girl in front of us turned to me and said - I was going to dress up like this, but I didn't find the right dress.
- Thank you! I actually made the dress with an old one from my mom’s closet.
- This is just Impeccable.
I smiled at her and turned to my boyfriend, who was rolling his eyes. I was so excited that I didn't even care, he wouldn't ruin my day.
- Are you sure that you want to be here waiting for the show to begin for five hours? - He sounded tired and annoyed, but we were there for just about half an hour.
- Yeah, I'm sure. You don't have to stay if you don't want to. - I think that if he stays away for a while, he will be nicer or something, but maybe I was a bit rude and he’ll be even more mad - As long as you come for the show when it begins.
I smiled, trying to make him see that I'm not angry, I was, but he didn't need to know.
- Sure… I'm going to find something to eat. Stay fine, babe.
He gave me a brief kiss and drove away.
*** time skip***
I was finally inside of the building, but my boyfriend didn’t get back for five hours. I was worried because I tried to call him like ten times in the last three hours, but he didn’ answer. I was about to leave, when I saw him coming.
- WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
I hugged him in desperation, but he seemed like he just went to the bathroom and got back in two minutes.
- Like I said, I was buying some food.- He gave me a smashed hamburger and I grabbed it with an angry look on my face.
- I was worried! Why didn’t you answer the ten fucking calls?
- My phone was on silent. - The way he seemed to not care made my blood boil. - But I'm here now, right?
- Whatever.
He opened his mouth to say something, but at the same moment, Frank, Mikey, Ray and Gerard stepped on the stage and I couldn't help but scream with the crowd. Without saying anything, “Our Lady of Sorrows” started. I was so close that I could see the color of Gerard's eyes. Was this heaven?
Everything was going really well, but it was a small show, so they kept stopping the show to talk to us. Before playing “Helena” Gerard said:
- Well, the next song is really important for us, and it’s amazing to see that so many people like it too. - He looked down at me and smiled. I forgot how to breathe for a moment. - Your dress is perfect, darling.
I was about to faint.
- T-thanks! - I said, smiling back at him.
My boyfriend gave him a death look, but Gerard just chuckled and started to sing.
- What the fuck?! - He grabbed my arm and began to talk, loud enough to not be muffled by the music - That was why you dressed like this? to impress him?
- I dressed like this as a tribute to this song! - I tried to make him let me go, but it didn't work, so he kept holding my arm. - It's not my fault that he noticed!
He huffed and dropped my arm.
- I need a drink.
He walked away to the bar and I stayed watching the show. I was not sure, but I think Gerard saw all that shit happening. By the way, seeing Frank and Ray playing guitar with my own eyes was the most amazing thing ever until now, and Mikey slayed so much with that bass.
The next song that they played was “The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You”, and I was very enthusiastic about this song. But I haven't any idea of how this was going to end.
I was singing along, and weirdly Gerard walked close to where I was and kneew in front of me. He put his hand on my cheeks, which turned red immediately, and kept singing “Pull the plug. But I'd like to learn your name. When holding on. Oh, I hope you do the same '' He looked deep into my eyes and continued “Aww, sugar”.
The crowd started to scream again, and my boyfriend turned to see what was happening. The scene made him get out of his mind. I know that a good girlfriend would never let this happen, and I should've backed off, but he has been such a dick since the day started, so I didn't feel blame, shame or anything else.
- You came here five hours early to be in the front because you knew this was gonna happend! You’re a fucking slut, don’t you? - He never talked to me like that. I got so sad that I couldn't even pay attention to the song.
This sadness became anger so fast, and I pushed him away before he could say any other thing. He tried to grip me in his arms, but I dodged him, bumping into someone next to me, and spilling a drink on my dress. I was about to scream something, but I saw Gerard making a sign to the security guard, who ran to my boyfriend and told him to go away.
- It’s fucking over! - I said to him and went back to see the rest of the show.
At the end, I waited for the people at the back of the crowd to leave, so I could have easy access to leave too.
- Hey!
I heard and didn’t believe it when I felt a touch on my shoulder.
- I’m sorry about what happened… I shouldn't have done that - It was Gerard. He was in front of me, just us. - Apropos, I'd really like to learn your name.
We laughed with the reference.
- That’s fine, he was being such an idiot since morning. - I said, giving him a shy smile. I said my name to him and kept talking - By the way, the show was amazing!
I was chatting with one of my favorite people in the world. I needed to make this not about my, now ex, boyfriend.
- Thanks! Good to know that even with all that shit you could enjoy the show. - He’s so cute, and the way he cares about his fans makes him even more wonderful. - It’s kinda weird but, can I get your number? It’s fine if you don’t want to give, but I find you really pretty and the way you dealt with this whole thing..
- Sure!
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~ Well, that's it, lemme know if you like it, and send me your request (;
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BIG UPDATE FOLKS!
So I’ve been meaning to say something about this for a while now, but due to time restraints and me trying to get stuff more established, I just haven’t been able to. Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t been posting up here much for a while now. Those of you who follow my other socials have probably also noticed that I have not been tagging anything as Htf within the last month or so and that my art there has had small design tweaks taking away some of the more iconic features that are standard for Htf (piecut eyes and pink heart noses for example). So I will be completely transparent with you all here.
Essentially, thanks to encouragement from outside friends and for the sake of my own mental health, I’m ripping my ocs and story out of Htf completely. By this point it has completely become its own thing. The concept of Death loops and anthropomorphic animals are not exclusive to Htf and even then, so much has deviated from the original formula that I hardly recognize it as that anymore. I haven’t had much desire or interest in drawing canon stuff for a while now, and it’s not a matter of me disliking it. I just have been feeling so fulfilled by this original story that we’ve been building for a few years now and I really want to dive into it and make it a real thing outside of the confines of a fandom. Being able to share this story to others on the outside of the fandom without needing that specific context has been really good for me and I feel like the art and writing I’ve been pouring my heart and soul into now has a future.
What does this mean? Well the story for the most part is the same. There’s been some redesigns such as Nergals temple, the idols, Dumuzis brother (which luckily cro-marmot did not *really* have an established character in show and my characterization of him is my own anyways), but the overall plot and world building and the way the curse works was already my own original idea so that stays the same. I will not ignore that this story is very inspired by Htf, but it’s grown so much that I think it’s time that it walked on its own. Canon Htf characters are no longer a part of the world, there is no “Happy Tree Town” ect. Certain ocs, however, are still a part of it; such as Icky, Hopps, Screwball, Kyle, ect. This is still a collaborative effort with @ickyguts and @technicoloranimalviolence since they have been a part of it for a while now and have both inspired me and have helped me a ton with writing. Their ocs are still their ocs of course and what they do with them will always be ultimately up to them so nothing will be made involving their ocs without their consent. They are part of the team for as long as they wish to be <3 And I am so proud and honored to be working with them on this project.
Now I want to make it clear that while I’m cutting this story completely out of Htf that does not mean I hate Htf or the fandom or anything. It’s done a lot for me and people for the most part have been very kind and supportive of me. I may still even draw fanart of canon characters in the future if I ever get the itch to again. I just really wanna be able to do more with this story outside of that. I haven’t felt so fired up by a project like this in so long and since I’ve made the decision to do this I have been feeling really excited and happy about creating again. There’s something really fun about working on a project that’s your own that I can’t explain. I’m still establishing and setting up a lot for it but it’s very much in motion and I have a lot of cool folks cheering me on inside and outside of this little fandom. I know I’m definitely going to be taking a hit as far as followers go now that I’m going full original content, I may even lose a lot of you here because of it, but there’s something really exciting about building from the ground up. I want to make it clear though that there is absolutely no pressure for you to stick around if me drawing Htf was what you were here for and if this news makes you lose interest in this blog. I want people to follow me because they like my work overall.
That brings me to the fate of this blog. I will still keep it up and keep up my old posts. Like I said I do not wish to try and bury the roots of this story. I’ve joked with some friends that I’m “pulling a 50 Shades of Grey with this shit”. Old art will remain, but here on out the trio and my other ocs are not a part of Htf. Be Brave is no more.
Now, they are part of a project we call Fossilized.
ALSO I’m on bluesky now!
You can follow me on Bluesky HERE
And Official pages and content for Fossilized will be hosted HERE (site very much still a WIP though)
So much love and thanks to those of you who have stuck with me up until this point. And for those of you who continue to stick with me, buckle up, cus it’s going to be a wild ride! 💖💖💖
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I had the high school au on my mind and since Jujutsu tech has forms I was thinking what shenanigans can ensue. I can imagine maybe earlier in their relationship, Y/N would invite/sneak Naoya to her dorm after hours to watch a movie with her. Naoya is obviously excited to hang out with his gf so maybe he mentions it to his friends and they’re like ‘ooh you know what that means. And oh she just wants to make out etc’ something along those lines that puts that idea into Naoya’s head when in reality Y/N’s invitation had completely innocent intentions with the only desire to watch the movie, maybe even cuddle while they watched(I can imagine cuddling might fluster her bit at this stage). So when Naoya eventually gets there, maybe he’s been like prepped to the max expecting his and Y/N’s first make out session only to realize that she really only wanted to watch the movie(either to his relief or slight disappointment). I could see it either going with Naoya trying initiate and it causing problems with him getting embarrassed for his misunderstanding or each time he tries to initiate Y/N is like extremely oblivious to it to the point he gives up. I just wanted to share this with you since the thought kept giving me the giggles and I love young love stuff like this. It’s probably why I’m so obsessed with the high school au.(Feel free to write a little something to this though if you get inspiration from it 😊)
Heya anon!!
I'm sorry it took me a while to get back to you; with prompts that are usually a bit longer, especially those that I have an idea of what I want to write but don't know how to land it?
Though I have to admit that your ask by itself was perfect. It was so cute!!!! I didn't think I could add much, but I still hope you liked what I prepared for this occasion :>
warnings: naoya might be a pervert, no surprise there. fluff. highschool AU. he's a dork too. mentions of smut, very light. just implications.
Happy reading!!
Naoya doesn’t like admitting it, and you’ll never catch doing so either—certainly not when it comes to you, the only person he’s ever tried his hardest to appear as confident, seemingly untouchable, above all problems regardless of their nature: a reliable man you could always lean on.
But the truth is, he still gets nervous. Very nervous, indeed. To the point you’d think he was about to attempt a life-or-death type of endeavor, not a silly thing! (it’s not silly, Naoya just says that in order to feel better)
“Do you want to watch a movie…” it’s how it started—at that point, Naoya wasn’t that flustered. Sure, he was excited to spend time with you, as much as any loving boyfriend would! If it were him, the two would be together, every day, every hour, everywhere!
“…in my dorm?”
It’s only when you say these words that he effectively becomes an utter mess, unable to do anything else besides allow heat to form on his cheeks, throat tightening as he squeaks a quick:
“Yes!”
Before going back to his class, to torment himself with what just transpired, and what wonderful things it actually represented.
Still early in the relationship, this would be the first time you and Naoya… saw each other in a more private setting.
Far from seeing each other at cafeteria to eat lunch together, training when the other’s usual partner wasn’t available, going on missions whenever teachers sought it necessary, studying if you didn’t get something from a class he already had (he’s a year older—before your being your boyfriend, Naoya was actually your senpai.), amongst other things.
In other words, his mind saw it was step forward in what he considered the rest of his life with you, and such statement brought him so much happiness, he literally couldn’t do anything else but spend his time imagining just what you had in store for him; undoubtedly something good, he quickly assumes.
Naoya prided himself for being quite reserved when it comes to personal matters, but such was his excitement this time around, that he was unable to hide it from his prying friends, the same ones that were always eager to tease him simply because he made it too easy, often entertained by his outlandish reactions…
Or amusing discoveries.
“What’s got you in such a good mood, Naoya?” One of his friends, Kiyotaka (probably someone he could replace with someone infinitely better, as you’ve once hinted.) says once taking a seat before him.
“What are you even talking about.” Naoya responds defensively, like he always did.
“Tsk, come on… you don’t really believe we’re going to fall for that, are we?” Another friend of Naoya’s, arguably of the same nature as Kiyotaka, Hideki, adds with a teasing tone.
“I don’t need to believe anything, you can do whatever you want.” He hisses, still avoiding the subject, if he wanted to push them away, he fails miserably.
Unfortunately, they knew it would only take a few more shoves to get Naoya talking.
And when it finally happened, oh, was he regretful he ever said anything.
“I’m going on a date with Y/N.” Is the sentence that pushes them over the edge, a smirk plastered on their faces as they seem to catch on to your “ulterior motives” way before him.
“Really? Where are you two going?” Kiyotaka asks.
“What do you care?” Naoya frowns, but they knew well to take his intimidation with a grain of salt. “…We’re watching a movie.”
“Oh, you’re going to the city?” Hideki wonders.
“No, not really—we’re staying in, at her dorm.”
With that, their theories were effectively confirmed.
“Oooooh, her dorm.” Kiyotaka teases. “Is that so?”
“What? What about it?” Naoya scowls, he never liked bringing you into his conversations with his friends for this precise reason—they always seemed to have something to say about you, or his relationship. And like the ever jealous, overprotective man he was, he simply couldn’t allow that!
But as experienced as he proclaimed to be, there were still things he had to learn, such as the obvious intentions behind your suggestion. So they were trying to hint.
“Come on, you can’t be that blind.” The other insists, Naoya’s frown (as well as intrigue) deepens.
“It’s so clear why she’s inviting you to see a movie in her dorm—” Kiyotaka continues.
“If it’s so obvious, then spit it out!” Naoya demands.
“She was to make out, of course! No, actually, I think she wants to do something more.” Hideki proclaims.
“Oh, most definitely! You guys have been dating for what, a few weeks? I’d say it’s long overdue!”
At the prospect, heat spreads across Naoya’s face, heart quickening as he carefully considers their words… before annoyance and jealousy overrules him once more, quick to demean them back, especially after they continue mocking him.
“Not that our virgin friend would know, too busy jacking off to anime girls— probably hasn’t even gotten his first kiss!”
“At least I have a girlfriend, losers!” Is what Naoya scowls before storming out the classroom and into the hallways, just before he did anything that he’d come to regret; their hyena-like laughs disappearing in the distance.
But nonetheless, their work was done, for their words would remain in Naoya’s mind for the rest of the day, those that were of any use of course.
Because jokes often harbored truth behind them.
Deeply enthralled by the excitement of spending an evening with you, maybe he did fail to recognize the true meaning behind your invitation.
A notion that the more he thought of it, the more he considered it to be… plausible.
Naoya didn’t think it was going to happen now—though he won’t deny he’s been longing for it. It’s just that… he hadn’t done anything in fear of scaring you. Up to that point, all you’ve done together is hold hands, kiss, hugs, and that’s about it. Nothing more, nothing less, and both seemed happy with it.
Until now.
Once these thoughts made way to his mind, and after placing these erroneous pieces together… Naoya can’t help but wonder, is this your way of telling him… you wanted to do more? Formalize this relationship?
If so, another insecurity arises within Naoya, one that stems from the erratic notion that as the man, he should’ve been the one taking initiative, not you.
He should’ve been preparing everything for that special moment, anything beneath that would only catalog him as someone foolish, and thus, undeserving of your affection—you can blame the Zen’in for those beliefs.
Because ever since meeting you, all Naoya has ever wanted to do is give you the world.
But in order to continue doing that, once you took the lead… what must he do?
“Do you really think she wants to do… that?” Naoya eventually resorts to the only other person he trusts enough to bring some clarity to the situation, though sometimes, for matters of avoiding getting too much information, wishes he didn’t. Yet, he’ll always stand by his side.
“I guess?” Ranta cringes, the thought of you and his best friend getting physical is one he wishes to erase from his mind!
On a more assertive approach, even when you’ve been dating his best friend for a few weeks, he has to admit he doesn’t know much about you. Or at all, really—outside of your excessive affinity for mochi, videogames, and wanting to be with Naoya at all times. Ranta rests easy knowing you mean well above all.
However, at this moment, he’s very concerned, simply because this is a delicate subject that if handled wrongly, could gravely wound his relationship… and all thanks to his supposed friends getting under his skin!
Ranta is tired of telling Naoya that he needs better friendships, that they’re only there because they want to get a rise out of him!
Though, a tiny, almost undetectable part of him does think they might be right. Because being invited to someone’s room is often an opening for something more private… right?
So, the possibility of you wanting more isn’t that farfetched, and considering how clingy the two are…
“Do you know what movie you’re going to watch?” Ranta suddenly asks, a necessary question in his mind.
“Hm? No, not yet. Y/N said that she’s ok with whatever, she just wants to spend time with me.”
Oh.
…
Oh.
It’s too obvious now, enough for Ranta’s mouth to fall agape and skin go pale, a reaction that startles Naoya, rushing to frettingly ask what was going on, why did he react that way?! Did he know something he didn’t?
Well, simply put… yes. He did. It’s just too obvious now to deny: the reason why you hadn’t chosen a movie, or even suggested something, when you were the one to invite him, was because that’s not what really matters! In fact, it never was!!
The only reason this date was happening was because you definitely, undoubtedly, clear as water, or like the sun rising, wanted to do something else!
And the movie was just an excuse to get him where you wanted—with Naoya taking the bait as soon as it was casted.
“What is it, Ranta?!” Naoya asks once more. “Will you speak up already?!”
The poor kid sighs.
He just hopes Naoya is prepared.
When the fateful day finally comes, Naoya can’t help but be all too attentive to your behavior, or more like the oddity of it.
Sure, you were still the giddy, loving, albeit a bit weird girl he fell in love with—but there was something… different about you. Almost as if you’d suddenly forgotten you were his girlfriend and got all shy with him.
And he didn’t mean the the adorable way he loved teasing—no, he meant the glance away from him whenever you’d catch him staring type of way, refusing to smile back whenever he’d do so, or straight up avoiding him in the hallways.
Naoya worried that perhaps he’d done something wrong without noticing, said some stupidity and angered you…
But that proved to be wrong when you approached him at the end of the day, rushing over to his locker and softly calling out his name, which he promptly responded to by swiftly turning around to see you, eager to fix whatever issues unwittingly grew between the two—
“Are you ready… Naoya?” it’s what you’d say, with the quietest tone he’s probably ever heard you use, after your confession of course.
“Huh? Oh; Ye—yeah.” He responds, swallowing. “I’m ready. …For the movie, right?”
You nod frantically. “Yes! Haha, what else?”
“I thought you’d… forgotten about it.” Naoya admits. “Since you hadn’t spoken to me at all.”
“Oh, no—it wasn’t that! I… didn’t mean to ignore you, I was just… actually preparing some things between classes and all that.” You confess, his shoulders relax, tension leaving his body alongside one of his worst fears. “I’m sorry.”
“Had me worried there, mochi. Thought I did something to anger you.” he says, you don’t notice it, but he tightly clenches his fist, an attempt to ease his nerves.
“…No, you could never.” You pout, looking away embarrassed. After a few seconds of silence, you return to him. “I already got snacks for the movie, by the way. I made sure to bring your favorite’s too, so need to worry about that! Though I was still hoping we could get something to eat first? Or if you want, we can also get some other snacks if you don’t like the ones I—"
“I don' I’m—I’m ok with whatever you picked.” He frets back, you blink. “Just getting to spend time with you is enough for me.”
“Oh, well then—” you blush. Looking around and noticing no one was near, you proceed. “Do you… want to go… now?”
Naoya nods before taking your hand; it’s only then that he notices the first symptoms of your anxieties: through the warmth of your skin and the dampness of it too—seems he might’ve miscalculated how nervous you’d be, yet he was not surprised, because if his assumptions were to be true, it was only natural you’d be in such state prior doing… that.
Well, it was good to know both were on the same page. If only it helped him to not feel as nervous as he did.
Or at least, make him realize not everything was what it seemed.
Naoya didn’t know what he was anticipating when arriving at your dorm. That his anxieties disappear? Perhaps. Should he have expected that? Probably not, if anything, he should’ve foreseen that his emotions were to spiral even further once getting there.
It’s as if the notion of what was happening finally settled into his mind! Turning him a nervous, sweating mess that you couldn’t help but notice as well—though it was more likely that you were on the same page as him.
Your boyfriend mentally scolds himself for his reaction, thinking that he was supposed to be ready for this moment, he did all the preparations, after all! (don’t ask)
But when he’s here, before you, in your room, alone—it’s like it was all for nothing; efforts thrown out the window as all he can do is look at you oversee the last details for the date in a seemingly assertive manner than makes him feel even smaller.
Oh, but if he only knew…
“You can change out of your uniform in the bedroom, if you like. I’ll go to the bathroom.” You suggest, face bright as a tomato as you gesture to said location. “Get comfortable, and all that…”
“Don’t be silly, I’ll use the bathroom.” Naoya responds immediately, his instinct to please you still intact. “It’s your room…”
“Oh—okay, then. I guess I’ll just wait over here…” You then turn around, heading over to the bedroom.
On Naoya’s way to the restroom, he’s able to get a peek into your room, the place the rest evening was to be spent in, taken aback by the sight that received him, demonstrating just how serious you were to have a perfect date:
After moving the bed to the corner, you’ve set up various blankets on the floor to work as some kind of futon, alongside some fluffy pillows to comfortably sit down and lean back on. After that, you place a neatly folded blanket by the corner to use in case either ran cold, though Naoya doubt’s it’ll be used at all…
Nonetheless, Naoya was impressed by your commitment, giving him the impression you were most definitely striking to achieve something more—in for the kill, as some may say.
He should’ve assumed you capable of so, considering how this relationship came to be. If anything, he should be wondering if he even has the means to keep up? And if he doesn’t… what will this mean for the relationship?
Naoya doesn’t want to lose you.
“What snacks do you want?” you’d ask him once he’s out of the bathroom.
Naoya notices you to be out of your uniform as well, dressing in a matching sweatsuit he normally would’ve considered you looked adorable in, as usual— if his mind wasn’t threading into something a bit more… private.
He made sure to freshen up in efforts to distract all intrusive thoughts, but once again, it was all for nothing when it comes to you; it has always been that way, and it seems will always be.
Attempting to push down his nerves, Naoya eventually makes way towards the makeshift futon, taking a seat there before you join him soon after, bringing along popcorn and sodas you remembered to be his favorite.
“Here, for you.” You say, inching closer to him to the point where your arms are touching his. Naoya tenses up, doing everything in his power to prevent his mind from going somewhere it shouldn’t be, such as holding his breath, or focusing on…
“Is that my hoodie?” Naoya notes, which immediately makes you blush, looking away embarrassed.
“Oh—yeah, I—I guess that’s where it came from.” You chuckle nervously; though it’s not like you didn’t know it was his. In fact, might’ve lied to Naoya about it’s whereabouts that one time he asked you just to keep it around for a bit longer… but could he blame you? It was soft, comfortable, and most importantly, it smelled like him. “…Do you want it back?”
“No!” he shrieks. Your eyes widen in surprise. “I mean—it looks… good on you.” Perhaps a bit too good. “Keep it.”
You turn impossibly redder.
“Th—Thanks…” you whisper, returning your gaze to him, staring at him absolute silence, as if processing the closeness in which the two were, the privacy of it all…
But once it finally settles, oh, does it fluster you even more. Breath hitching to your throat the moment you realized you spent too much time staring at him, quickly turning around and reaching over for the remote control, turning the TV on and attempting to move the evening forward—yet your thoughts would remain behind.
“What movie are we going to see…?” Naoya manages to ask, as if your reaction didn’t affect him further.
“Just one that Shoko… suggested.” You quietly admit; the CD was already set up on the player, all that was left to do was… press play.
Once the movie begins, the two are quickly captivated by it; Shoko wasn’t lying when she said this was something you’ll definitely like, the type of film that won’t let you peel your eyes away from the screen due to its epic storytelling (her words)—and it had been that way up to that point, if it weren’t for the occasional reminder of the other being there.
Whether through a quick exhale, a whine when stretching their legs or arms, or even the warm pressure of your head resting on Naoya’s arm… even with an intriguing movie as that one, neither could refute acknowledging the other’s presence.
Or the supposed reason behind this invitation, which only grew heavier in his mind the same time his insecurities flourished, ignorant of when to take the next step, trying to make out if this was your way of telling him to hurry up or perhaps, something else entirely??
You’ve taken liking to the position you were in, with your head over his shoulder, intertwining his arm with his, occasionally reaching out for a handful of popcorn and asking him if he’d like some before going back to your previous comfortable position, attention completely focused on the movie once again.
Naoya commends you for being able to appear this calm, completely unaware of his turmoil. In a way, he was happy you were.
But your boyfriend knew better than to rely on comfort, and once motivated to act, he was able to quickly intercept the true motives behind your insistency, a wake-up call for him to act and do what he must—as a man, he’s the one responsible to provide a solution to your desire; anything less than that is shameful.
And so, after mentally uttering few more encouraging words to himself… Naoya finally proceeds.
It starts slowly, carefully, with him releasing the arm in your hold to drape it over your shoulders. You don’t seem to put much of a resistance at first, though you did seem startled—but when you realized you could be more comfortable this way, with your head resting over his chest and his arm hugging you, you quickly accepted your new disposition, a smile on your face (alongside a bright blush) as you continued watching the movie.
Naoya remains that way for a few more moments, torn between enjoying your closeness or continuing, perhaps hoping you’d tell him something. But when you don’t, he simply takes it as you being shy.
Thus, he pushes forward, for your introverted sake.
He senses you tense up the moment his hands finally trail down your arm and onto your waist, yet you don’t stop him. Naoya quietly sighs as he keeps his hand there, occasionally giving you soft squeezes here and there, before leaning further and further down, ending by your hips.
Naoya swears to feel his heart (and yours consequentially) to be just a few minutes away from bursting out his chest when doing this—this contact being the most intimate he’s gone with you. And yet, his mind can’t help but wonder why you hadn’t reciprocated his advances, because at that point, his intentions had to be nothing but clear!
But you remained quiet, reserved, with the tightening of your grasp over his chest whenever he moved closer to a particularly sensitive area, softly whining in response, being his only indicative.
Did he need to be more assertive with his actions? Or perhaps he wasn’t doing the right things? Not… touching you the way you liked?
You must excuse him from not knowing, this was… the first time he’d do such a thing with you, and naturally, he’s bound to make some mistakes—but he still wants to make it right.
So, he goes with the one thing he knows won’t fail, considering how you’ve left it clear countless times before that you always enjoyed his kisses—whether through verbal and physical reassurance.
The answers were always there, Naoya just… needs to be bolder about it. Secure. You must enjoy having an assertive boyfriend, right?
Taking another deep breath and in one swift movement, Naoya uses his free hand to grab your chin, carefully turning you to him, leaning forward to take your lips into a kiss before you could even react.
The action undoubtedly catches you off guard, enough to have you tensing, eyes widening as you try to process why the sudden approach—not that it would take you long before you succumbed to it, but still. It had come so out of the blue, you almost felt like it wasn’t truly happening, that perhaps you imagined it, always desperate to dive in Naoya’s gestures.
And it would’ve been quite wonderful too, if only he’d remained in the realms of what he knew, stopped his fingers from travelling up to your stomach and hooking around the edge of your hoodie, gently nudging it upwards in what he thought a clear understanding of what’s to happen, leaving no room for anything else—
Just your shock, which immediately prompted you to place your hands over his chest and push him away from you, with great unprecedented force, so different from the gentle touch you always use on him that Naoya almost didn’t recognize you.
Nor yourself, for that matter.
"Wh—what are you doing, Naoya?!" You breathe, trying your best to hold back the pounding of your heart from deafening your ears, alongside the scrambling of your thoughts, failing to understand what just happened, or more like why. "Why did you—why did you do that???"
"I'm— I'm confused, Y/N" Your boyfriend quickly responds, voice trembling upon seeing the horror in your face, a sight he never wished to see on you again, less be on the cause of it. "I thought you—I thought you wanted this."
“I wanted—wh—what??” you fret. “What are you even talking about?? Want what?!”
“You know…that” Naoya murmurs, and for the first time that evening, the notion that he might’ve miscalculated your intentions invades his mind, bringing along great sorrow that only worsens when all you do is continue to stare at him, surprised. “The…. The thing couples… do…”
“What—…What gave you that idea?” you dared to ask, and then, at that precise moment, is when realization finally settles inside him, making his heart sink to his stomach and his worst fears come true.
“I'm so sorry, Y/N. I thought—I thought you inviting me over was for something else!” Naoya the takes you into his arms, pressing you tightly against him as he continues to mutter endless apologies, silent prayers that he hadn’t hurt the only relationship he has cared about in his entire life, beyond repair."I’m so sorry, please don't break up with me—"
"Huh?! Naoya?? Why would you even say that?!” You cry, whatever you felt for his unusual actions folded immediately in favor of your confusion. “I’m not going to break up with you!”
“Are you not… mad?—Hurt, because of what I did?”
“I mean—I am startled.” Naoya frowns, ashamed. You try to reassure him with a tight smile, he does not budge. “But… I wouldn’t leave you. Never!’
“…Then… what’s going to happen?” he fearfully asks, unwilling to believe that no punishment, no reproach was to occur—you can blame the Zen’in for that.
… Were you truly not angry, not one bit?
“Well, I guess we should… talk about it.” You say, fidgeting with your fingers. A conversation you didn’t think would occur so soon, and like this too—but it did, and with it, came along questions (or more like insecurities) about your own standing in this relationship.
Guess now is just as good as any other time.
“…you don’t want to do it, isn’t it?” Naoya assumes, your eyes widen.
“That’s not true, Naoya. Of course I do!”
“But…?”
“…Not like this.” You murmur. A question crosses your mind. “But… you wanted it… right?”
Naoya remains silent, guess after all that happened, the teasing of his friends, Ranta’s suggestions… he eventually came to hope that maybe you did want more. He would’ve definitely liked that, but then, who wouldn’t want to be intimate with the love of their life?
“You did.” You breathe; now it was your time to lament. “Oh, Naoya, I didn’t mean to confuse you—”
“No, Y/N. I was the one that misunderstood your invitation.” He says, hugging you tighter against him. “I guess I was too excited to spend time with you, that… I might’ve gotten ahead of myself. Might’ve allowed others to that too…”
“What do you mean?” you ask, curiously lifting your gaze to his.
“… I guess… I might’ve… let my friends influence me on what was going to happen…”
“You mean—did they tell you this was for something more?”
“Well—I mean—it’s not every day that you invite me to your dorm, you know??” Naoya gasps.
“Because it’s not really permitted, Naoya!” you cry back. “…and because my room is a mess most of the time, and I don’t want you to see that...”
At the silliness of last, he couldn’t help but let out a chuckle, invertedly lifting some of the tension that had begun to weight heavy on your shoulders, allowing you relax soon after.
“Is that what you’re most worried about?” Naoya jests. “That I might not like what your room looks like?”
“I gotta look good for my boyfriend, after all!” you fuss. “…and that’s not the only thing I worry about. I don’t want you to get in trouble for sneaking in either.”
“…I’d be more satisfied if you were… well, happy with me.” Naoya silently admits, placing a kiss on the top of your head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”
“It was just a misunderstanding, nothing more.” You say, leaning into his touch. “…And a reminder that you need better friends too…”
“Yeah, that’s definitely something I have to do.” Naoya frowns, but he doesn’t let this issue take much space in his mind. “And make it up to you.”
“Naoya—I’m just happy that you’re here with me!” you grin, wrapping your arms around him, squeezing him. “It’s been soooo loong since we last had a date, it’s going to take much more than that to ruin it!”
“…But I was pretty close, wasn’t I?” he laments.
“Don’t torture yourself about it.” You lean to kiss his lips, the gesture warming his heart as his worries begin to disappear. “It’ll happen, in time, I hope… and when it does, it’ll be special, for both of us. Because it’ll be just how we want it!”
“It sounds like you already had something in mind, though.” Naoya recalls, mentally preparing himself to take notes. “…Do you mind… telling me… what?”
“Well, you’ll definitely have to take me out on a date—somewhere nice for dinner. From there, I’d like to go for a walk around the city, or maybe a drive, I don’t know. We can go to a viewpoint and watch the stars, or to the park and just… relax. After that, we can go back to anywhere but a place we could be caught.” You shiver. “I’d rather die than let that happen!”
Naoya laughs, finding your enthusiasm to be both refreshing, adorable, and informative in two matters:
One, that you are just as eager as he was when it comes to that, effectively removing any doubt he had about the ordeal. It was just a matter of being ready, that’s all.
And two, just how silly it was to even consider you wanted to do it in a place like a school, where strictness was only expected. It was difficult as it was having to sneak him around the dorms just to spend this evening together, now imagine that? Some were shameless, amongst them Naoya, but you were out of the question.
What was he even thinking?!
Naoya feels like an absolute idiot for having trusted his supposed friends. Perhaps he should’ve taken Ranta more seriously, take it slow as he suggested.
But there was no use in agonizing about that when he had more pressing matters to tend to, such as…
“…Do you still want to watch the movie?” Naoya asks, hopeful. But you give him a smile that erases all doubts.
“Yes. Of course I do! I still want to spend time with you, you know? With the boyfriend I love very, very much.”
Naoya blushes.
“And you’re the girlfriend I love very much too.” He stammers, verbal affection is something he still struggles with, but it does not abstain it from being genuine. “I’ll make it up to you—whatever you want. Don’t hesitate to tell me.
…And once we get to do that too, it’ll be special; beyond anything you imagined—I promise you.”
“It’s not necessary, Naoya—just spending time with you is enough for me.” You lean forward once more to peck his lips. “With you, I don’t need to worry about anything because I know everything will fall into place by its own.
….
Though there is one think I want you to do, if you really wanna make it up to me.”
“Anything, it’s yours.”
“…Do you think… you can spend the night here, with me? My roommate is going to be away for a few days, and my siblings are out on a mission; I normally wouldn’t mind staying on my own, but tonight… I don’t feel like doing that.” you shyly ask, and while it’s a far cry from what Naoya initially anticipated, it’s still enough to rile him up.
“Su—Sure, Y/N—I just… I think I just need to go to the bathroom first.”
You don’t say anything else, too flustered to do so, aside from reassuring him you’ll be there when he comes back, understanding that this was a situation that, well, honestly speaks for itself.
And yet, you didn’t think much of it—because at the end of the day, one way or the other, it just showed how much Naoya wished to be with you, and how eager you wished the day you were ready to give yourself to him eventually came to be.
Until then, you’d worry about enjoying the rest of the evening, wondering if Naoya would be thirsty after coming back, perhaps wanting to eat something else than popcorn—you sure brought lots of snacks just in case, highly meticulous for a simple movie night. You shouldn’t be blamed, though; it was your first date in a setting like this!
While Naoya tended to some personal issues—but the most important one was the final acceptance that he needed better friends, deciding to drop them soon after this miscalculation almost cost him his relationship (Not really, just a very upset girlfriend) and God knows what else; Ranta being the only one that remained, because he was the only genuine friend he ever had, that much he could still asses.
But when it comes to your happiness, though he’ll sometimes go to him for suggestions, Naoya decides to only trust his heart—no one else.
The rest of them could disappear, for all he cared. Because the moment you stepped into his life, you were all that mattered to him.
All that will continue to matter, until the end of his days. Luckily, he has a lifetime to prove that to you.
Naoya's growth from dorky boyfriend to husband will be satisfying journey to observe.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this little something I did!!! Whenever I get HS AU stuff I get really excited, I literally couldn't stop thinking about this!!!
Either way, it was fun to write awkward Y/N and Naoya, this is way before the latter grew up to be the arrogant bastard we all know; and though he does end up like that, I like to think that because of Y/N he's not as bad lol.
Now, I don't have anything else except that I really do hope you liked this :> Thank you so much for sending in this ask; take care, and hope to see you soon!!
#ask#naoya zenin#naoya zen'in#naoya x reader#naoya zenin x reader#naoya zenin x you#jjk naoya#naoya zen'in x reader#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk x you#prompt series: jujutsu kaisen
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