#But like. I don't know this could be considered super rude or maybe I'm fucking up somewhere. Please let me know

[wawhii]

I don't quite know if this is acceptable to say but like. The more I learn about fat liberation, the more that thin and super super thin people become fucking grotesque to me

[hyunniesgirl]

I wanna be yours

Pairing: Bangchan x fem!reader

Summary: it was all a game to him, until all he could think about was you. He wanted to have all of you. Ruin all of you. Love all of you.

Or, the one where Chan is a cocky asshole who's going out with you just for fun and ends up falling in love.

Slightly inspired in the movie 10 things I hate about you.

Genres: angst, smut, fluff

Words count: 10,991

Masterlist

This content is +18 ONLY, minors do NOT interact!

Warnings: Corruption kink(kinda), dry humping, fingering, blowjob, loss of virginity, unprotected sex, pet names(princess, baby), Chan is cocky as fuck(and I'm here for it, stan cocky Bangchan), reader gets kinda insecure close to the end(let me know if I missed something)

A/N: should I be answering my requests or updating my series? Yes, did I spend too much time in a super long self indulgent oneshot? I did. It was supposed to be just smut with corruption kink 😭 turns out I can't write the porn without the plot.

It all started as a game for him. He just didn't guess how much you would mess with his head.

Bang Chan doesn't care much about college, with a promising career in music, he's just attending classes so his parents won't nag him too much.

That means he's bored all the time.

So when Jeongin, his youngest friend, begged him to win his girlfriend's sister over and date her for a bit, he almost accepted right away, yearning for some fun. But he didn't, not before knowing who you were.

That's how he ended up here, trying to find you in the middle of communication class. He didn't need to look too much, from Jeongin’s description, he could find you in the blink of an eye.

“A pretty girl, probably wearing black or some neutral color and she'll probably be in a corner. She's very shy, when you speak to her don't be too straightforward, you may scare her”

The way Jeongin described you didn't show any ill intent and he was always a good guy, that's why Chan considered accepting his offer in the first place. He must have his reasons for almost kneeling in front of his friend, asking for him to date you.

Chan sits behind you, observing every movement you make. You're indeed pretty and you really are shy. He notices how you want to raise your hand every time the professor asks a question, but you always hesitate and someone speaks over you. Every time you try to speak, some rude person cuts you and instead of getting mad, your face turns red and you shrink in your seat, trying to make yourself even more invisible.

There's something about you, Chan can't tell what it is, but it's something amusing about how you behave. Someone like you could have every guy in this university wrapped around your little finger and every girl wanting to be your friend.

As soon as the class ends, Chan sends a text to Jeongin, telling him he will do it. He doesn't waste time, waiting for everyone to get out of the classroom while you're still collecting your things.

“Hey”, he says out of nowhere, making you jump and look at him with huge doe eyes. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you”.

He kinda did want that, though, curious to see how you would react, he thought maybe you would raise your voice and curse him, but you reacted as calmly as possible.

“It's okay”, you mumble.

You keep organizing your things, trying to ignore his presence.

“So, I wanted to ask if you can let me borrow your notes”, he asks, making puppy eyes.

You turn back to him and Chan can almost see the gears turning inside your head.

“Why does he want my notes if he just attended the same class?” It's written all over your face.

“I pulled an all nighter studying for another class and kind of dozed off earlier”, he lies, smiling sheepishly while scratching the back of his neck.

You stare at him for a bit, pondering if you should say yes, actually, let's be real: can you even say no?

This is Bang Chan, handsome and popular, everyone knows him and the other two guys from 3racha. The last you heard, he didn't care much about classes since he's already progressing in his music career so you still don't understand why he wants to borrow your notes.

“Yeah, okay”, you nod, deciding to agree so this conversation can be over soon. You pull your notebook out of your bag and hand it to him. “Just make sure to give it back by next class”

“Sure, thanks”, he gives you a big bright smile that makes you gulp while staring at him, just a few minutes in his presence and you already know something very important: this man is dangerous.

You look around awkwardly, not knowing what Chan wants more. He's just standing there, staring at you.

“I'll get going then”, you sigh, feeling exhausted by this whole interaction.

You turn around, walking to the door, leaving Chan there, dumbstruck. Jeongin was right, you have no social skills, but you're much more entertaining than he made you out to be.

—

You're having lunch with Yuna, your sister, and Jeongin, her boyfriend, in the cafeteria. You like spending time with them, they are probably the only people you feel comfortable around in this university.

You met Jeongin three months ago. Your sister came home giggling like a child on Christmas, sat on your bed and told you she got a boyfriend.

You ran to your door, closing it after checking that your parents weren't around. There's only one rule in the house: your younger sister must not date before you do.

Your parents are not conservative or anything like that, they just had you two later than other parents, so they are very overprotective. You don't know exactly the reason why they set this rule, maybe it's because they are sure you're never going to date.

Yuna is your best friend, she was a sickly child so all those interactions and fights that normal sisters have, you didn't. You spent most of her childhood and a huge part of yours by her side in the hospital. Fortunately, she was able to go back to a normal life by the time she was becoming a teenager, she was always a social butterfly even in the hospital everyone loved her.

You always thought it was unfair that she had to wait to have a boyfriend simply because you are not interesting enough or can't even hold a conversation properly without stuttering, but there was nothing you could do about it. You even tried arguing with your parents about it but it always ended with them telling you to forget about it.

You see Jeongin waving to someone, something is off, they never invite anyone to eat with them. A tray is settled by your side and you look at the person who sits in the seat next to yours: Bang Chan.

“Hello again”, he smiles at you, a handsome smile with dimples showing and everything. He greets the others after.

You look at Yuna and Jeongin, she is frowning just like you and her boyfriend is eating like this is an ordinary situation in your daily lunch.

“Hi”, you sister answers, “I don't think we met before”

“Oh, yeah, I'm Bang Chan!” He stretches his hand so she can shake it. “Jeongin is an old friend and I have communication class with y/n”

“Ah”, she nods, looking at her boyfriend. You stay in silence, playing with your food, waiting for Jeongin to send Bang Chan away.

“Babe, I forgot I have a project due tonight”, Jeongin says, slapping the palm of his hand on his forehead. He stands up, “can you help me? Chan will keep y/n company.”

No. You don't want him to keep you company. Your eyes widen and you stare at your sister, trying to send her a mental signal so she won't let you alone with him.

What you don't see, it's that she has already caught up on the way Bang Chan is looking at you and she might think she understands what's happening.

“Okay, yeah. Take care of her”, your sister says, smiling apologetically to you while she gets up and follows Jeongin out of your sight.

You should just throw your food away and go to the library, maybe you can eat a sandwich.

“Would you like to go on a date with me?” You hear Bang Chan's voice before you can put your plan into practice, turning around to look at him with the most terrified face he ever saw on someone. “Ouch, does the idea scare you so much?” He jokes.

“Why would you want to go on a date with me? We just met yesterday”, you point out, holding yourself back so you won't just stand up and run away.

“I find you interesting, it's just a date so we can get to know each other better”, he shrugs. He's so nonchalant about it, while you're freaking out inside.

“I don't think that's a good idea, I'm not good at keeping conversations, you'll get bored”, you say frantically. You just didn't expect him to laugh.

“I can do all the talking, I love to talk"

Chan knows this move is risky and there's a high probability you won't accept, but he just felt like asking you at that moment.

“Are you sure you won't get bored?” You ask.

His eyes widen and he nods, are you really considering it?

You are, obviously. You bet no one could ever guess, but Bang Chan is your ideal type, actually he is probably everyone's ideal type.

He has the kindest smile you have ever seen and the way his eyes turn into crescents when he's smiling makes your legs weak. He met you yesterday, but you know him since 3racha performed in the university’s festival last year. Since the first time you two crossed paths, everything about him, appearance wise, seemed appealing: his dark eyes, his smile, his dark curls, his broad shoulders and his muscular body. That's why you freaked out so much when he spoke to you yesterday, you never thought he would give you the time of day. So you would be dumb to reject his offer.

“Okay”, you nod, handing your phone to him. “You can put your number there, I'll text you so you can save my contact”, you say and he stares at the device for a few moments before picking it up and typing his number.

This was easier than he thought.

—

“Do you have pepper spray with you?” Your mother asks for the 30th time in the last hour.

“Yes, mom. I'm going on a date with another student, he's not a criminal”, you tell her and your father tsks.

“There are alot of students that commit crimes”, he says.

“I know”, you sigh, “don't worry, I have pepper spray, emergency numbers and I'll turn on my localization”

Your sister is watching the scene unfolding in front of her, while she chuckles.

“You shouldn't laugh, if I start dating you will go through the same thing when it's your time”, you whisper at her and she sighs.

“You're not going to this date just so I can officially date Jeongin, right?”

You grin.

“You think too highly of me, I'm not that selfless”, you hear the sound of a horn in front of your house, “I'm going on this date because he's hot”

Chan thought you were pretty in your everyday clothes but after seeing you ready for your date he just couldn't take his eyes off you. You're wearing a little sundress with thin straps holding your much too generous and low cleavage. Your hair is down and your lips are red with lipstick.

He's waiting for you outside of the car so he can open the door for you, but when you stop in front of him, he just doesn't move.

You frown, waving a hand in front of his face.

“Are you okay?” You ask and he snaps out of his daze.

“Yeah, you're just too pretty”, he tells you honestly, “I just couldn't believe I'm so lucky”

You feel your skin hotter, you're sure your whole face must be red like a tomato.

The restaurant you are going to have dinner at is a bit further than you thought, it takes at least one hour by car to get there.

“Were all the places close to the city closed?” You try making a joke and he smiles.

“Considering your personality, I thought you would like this place better”, he tells you while you go in. A person greets you two, leading you inside. There's no open space, the building is full of rooms and you're guided to one of those. There's a glass wall in the back of the room with a view to a lake and a waterfall, there's colorful lights everywhere, making it even more beautiful.

“So, when I was searching for a nice place to go on a date, I came across this one.” Chan starts speaking and you notice there's a small stove on top of the table. “There's no attendants, so we will cook our own food and only call them if we want more servings”, he explains, pulling the chair so you can sit.

“Oh”, you feel a weird feeling on your stomach, are these the butterflies your sister told you about? You never knew something like this existed and the fact that he was attentive enough to take your shyness into consideration while choosing the place of your date makes you melt inside. “Thank you”, you tell him after sitting.

You don't shut up the whole night. This is the first time you feel so comfortable with someone other than your family.

“So, you want to work with entertainment?” He asks surprised.

“Yes, I really like the whole thing about managing an artist, it sound exciting”, you smile happily, “who knows, maybe one day I can manage 3racha”

“You have heard 3racha?” Chan asks, surprised.

“I really like your music”, you tell him, “besides, everyone knows about you guys”

“Yeah, but I didn't know you knew about us”, he smiles charmingly, leaning on the table while clasping his hands. “So does that win me some points? Maybe a kiss?”

You already are red because of the wine, now you feel your whole face hot. You're already feeling a bit out of it, not drunk enough to make a bad decision but definitely drunk enough to lose a bit of your shyness.

“I don't know how to kiss”, you say simply, no further explanation.

Chan almost chokes on the air he just breathed, he didn't think you would be so blunt about it. Curiously, he finds your innocent face while saying that too enticing.

“I can help you with that”, he says, tilting his head and winking.

“Would you really?” You ask and he nods. “Like now?”

Chan didn't expect that to happen so soon, especially with someone as shy as you. But he won't refuse your offer.

“Are you done?” He asks, eagerly, standing up and you nod. Chan stretches his hand to you, waiting for you to hold it.

He takes you to his car, helping you get in and fastening your seatbelt. He's not in his right mind, not at all, he didn't even drink so why is he so excited? He doesn't think he ever felt this way about a kiss. He drives for a while, looking for the drive in movie theater he had read about while looking for the restaurant.

After fifteen minutes he parks his car behind others, there are a lot of people there to watch the movie.

You have your hands on your lap, fidgeting with your fingers nervously. It's so endearing how innocent you are.

“Would you like to take a seat?” He asks and you frown, looking around and then looking at him. You are already seated.

He tilts his head, chuckling and patting his lap. You nod so fast, it's embarrassing. He smiles, seeing you climb on top of him, legs are over the cup holder, you're using him as a literal seat.

“You never kissed anyone?” He asks, while you adjust yourself on top of him, his breath hitting your neck, making goosebumps rise all over your body. You shake your head, feeling a bit insecure, what if you are no good?

Chan bites on his lower lip, shifting a bit so you won't feel his hardening cock under you, you're just too cute, too sexy.

“Okay, I'll go slowly, we can stop anytime you want”, he tells you, brushing his hand on your arm all the way to your neck, making you close your eyes to his touch. He pulls your face closer, touching your lips with his, it's warm and soft, it feels like heaven.

He brings his other hand to your cheek, caressing. He pulls back a bit, just enough so he can speak.

“Open your mouth for me, baby”, he tells you and you obey instantly, feeling his lips back on yours. His tongue brushes against yours and you whine, lifting your hands to grab on his shoulders to steady yourself, causing your ass to rub on his cock. Chan groans, making you flinch, did you do something wrong?

He notices your hesitancy, so he slides his hand to your waist, squeezing you in reassurance.

“Are you sure you have never done this?” He asks playfully and you smile, shyly.

“Can- Can we do it again?” You whisper, making him chuckle. Dear god, would he be able to stop this with just kisses?

“Did you like kissing me, princess?” He teases, seeing you blush. Chan wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you even closer. He lands a kiss on your exposed collarbone, tracing kisses up to your neck.

“You smell so good”, he tells you before leaving a kiss on your jaw, then on your chin and finally a peck on your lips.

“Must taste even better”, he thinks, smiling to himself.

Your phone starts ringing, taking you two out of that hazy atmosphere. You feel embarrassed now, not believing you actually acted that way. Going back to your seat, you pick up the call, it's Yuna.

“Mom and dad are freaking out because you stopped moving for too long”, she whispers. Shit, you forgot your localization was turned.

“Tell them you called Chan and I'm alright, my phone just died”, you instruct her.

“Yeah, got it, just hurry”

Chan probably heard the conversation, but you still feel upset that he started the car right away and drove fast back to your home.

When you arrive in front of your house, you're not sure if you should kiss him goodnight or just wave, both are awkward options for you, so you go with the one you want the most.

You grab his arm and pull him closer to you, kissing him on the lips. Chan is quite surprised with your bold action, but he won't complain, he can't get enough of your lips.

“I will text you when I get home”, he says after pulling away and you nod.

You get out of the car and walk to your door, stealing glances at Chan. He's giggling at your antics, watching until you are safe inside your house.

He should be thankful to Jeongin, he's finally having a good time.

—

Chan is taking his mission seriously, he's texting you everyday and even stopped seeing all his fuck buddies. This is the closest he ever got to a relationship, but you're not official yet.

Especially not when you're avoiding him like the plague when it comes to meeting face to face. You answer his texts normally but he has to literally hunt you down so he can find you in this damn university and if you see him before he sees you, it's game over, you'll hide immediately and he has to begin his search all over again.

This time, though, he caught you off guard. You are at the library, seated alone, trying to focus on the book you have in your hands.

He smiles to himself, knowing you can't escape anymore. Chan leans over, caging your body with his two hands around you, gripping the table.

“I missed you, baby”, he whispers and you shiver, feeling butterflies on your stomach.

“H-hi”, you say, closing your book and taking a deep breath.

You will not try and pretend you didn't hide from him for almost a week. But that's not your fault, it's your brain's.

After Chan left you home, you ran to your room, still feeling all tingly and hot from kissing him. Since Yuna didn't come to your room you guessed she was already asleep, so you took your makeup off, took a long bath and snuggled in your nice sheets.

The thing is: you had the most lewd, filthy, awfully good dream that night. You could never even say the things Chan did to you in that dream out loud.

You woke up sweaty, heavy breathing and panties soaked, this never happened to you before.

You just couldn't look at his face after that, you felt dirty and guilty with having those thoughts about such a nice guy.

“Am I wrong or were you avoiding me?” He asks, not moving from behind you.

“No- I wasn't”, you turn around to look at him, bumping into his face too close from yours. He glances at your lips, biting his lower one and chuckles. “I was just, hm, kinda embarrassed”, you tell him, aware that he's going to know right away if you try lying.

“Embarrassed about what?” He asks, tilting his head.

“I don't know”, you look away, trying not to give in and tell him about your dream.

“I think you should come to my place so we can talk about it”, he says and you choke on your own spit, struggling to function correctly. Did he just ask you to go to his house? Just you? And him? Just the two of you?

The apartment is not far from the campus, it's a maximum twenty minutes walk. The building is nice and modern, it absolutely matches what you had imagined Chan’s place would look like.

His apartment is huge, it's not possible that he lives there alone.

“I have three roommates, Jisung and Changbin you already know and Hyunjin, he's an arts major”

“Hwang Hyunjin? I know him, he's friends with my sister”, Chan nods, he forgot your sister dates Jeongin, she probably knows his entire group of friends.

“Do you want to drink something?” He asks, looking at you while you walk around the living room, looking at every corner but not at him.

“Water is fine”, you say, looking at some pictures he has with his friends. He always has that breathtaking smile that makes all your insides turn around.

“What about watching a movie?” He asks out of nowhere, sitting on the sofa. He looks at you, an arm resting on the back of the sofa.

“Sure”, you walk to him, sitting on the far corner. Chan has to bite back a laugh so you won't feel embarrassed, do you really think it's so easy for you to get away from him?

He turns on the movie, adjusting himself on his seat. You're really trying to pay attention to what's going on on the screen, but you just can't. Not when Chan's scent is all over the place, making you remember about your dirty dream.

He knows you're restless, he can see you fidgeting by his peripheral vision.

“Are you uncomfortable?” He asks, turning his head towards you, with a smirk plastered on his lips. “Maybe you can sit here again, I'm sure you are going to like it better”, he pats on his lap.

You feel your face red.

“Stop teasing”, you mumble, pouting, “that's not nice”

He chuckles. If you're not coming to him, he has no problem going to you, so Chan slides his body closer, making you stare at him with a frown.

He raises his hand to your face, cupping it and caressing your cheek.

“Tell me you don't want this, princess, I'll stop”, he says. But you want this more than anything in the world, how could you not?

You lean a bit, trying to close the gap between your mouths. Oh, how much Chan missed your soft lips, he felt almost like going through a withdrawal staying so long without kissing you.

You learn fast, your mouth opens right away after your lips touch. In a bold move, your tongue is the one to look for his first, making him groan. He puts his right hand on your thigh, squeezing it harder than he predicted, but he didn't predict the bite you would give on his lip at that exact moment.

Chan grabs your hip, pulling you up to his lap, this time with a leg on each side of him. You're looking at him in that innocent way when all he has on his mind are the dirtiest thoughts. He caresses your thigh, sliding his hand to grab your ass and pulling you closer to him.

“Will you tell me now, why you were embarrassed? You looked pretty fine when I left you home after our date”, he asks and you blush instantly, oh, you forgot about the reason you are here. You can't tell him about your dream, you'll die of embarrassment if you do.

“It was- nothing”, you lie, avoiding his eyes. Chan noticed this already, you always look anywhere but him when you are lying to him.

Maybe he'll have to make you tell the truth.

“Really?” He says, skeptical. “Then you were just being mean? Playing with my feelings after just one date?” He's teasing, he knows you'll give in eventually, it's just a question of time.

“No, I wasn't”, you argue, with a frown on your face, your lips shut tight in a pout.

“Baby”, he calls, your legs would definitely give out if he called you like that while you were standing. “I don't like liars”

Chan slides his hands up to your ass, grabbing a handful and pulling you closer. You can already feel something hard beneath you, making you shift and adjust on his lap, involuntarily seeking some friction. Your core is aching, just by staying so close to him.

“I'm not lying, that's mean”, you try changing the subject and he chuckles.

Chan comes closer, lips brushing against yours, his breathing hitting on your mouth, everything just making the wet spot on your panties grow bigger and bigger. He kisses you, a nice and soft kiss with his tongue caressing yours gently.

Chan notices that you're moving your hips slightly, trying to feel his cock. He smiles during the kiss, pulling away while putting his hands on your hips, guiding your movements to be harder.

“Hm”, you whine, feeling his hard on giving you the friction you're looking for. His hand cups your cheek, pulling you closer into a kiss again.

You never felt this way, like ever. You did masturbate but it's different to do it with another person. It's just so good to feel Chan's touch on your skin, his breathing, his muscular arms holding you. You feel your orgasm coming, you can't believe you're going to cum by just rubbing yourself on this man.

Chan knows you're almost there, that's when he grabs your hips steadying you, not letting you move further. He earns a whine from you, an angry look on your face.

“I will only let you keep going if you tell me why you were embarrassed and avoided me”, he says cockyly and you shake your head, trying to move again but his grip on your hips is too strong.

“I don't wanna”, you tell him.

“Then, I guess you won't be cumming today”, he shrugs. “At least, not with me”, he smirks to your face becoming even redder.

“You're such a meanie”, you whine, pouting, still trying to move again but he just won't let you.

“Are you going to tell me what I want to know?” He tilts his head.

You ponder for a moment, what should you do? It's not going to end here, if you don't tell him right now, you're sure he won't let it go.

“I- I had a dream”, you start, trying to gather some courage.

“Uhm”, he nods, “what about it?” He asks curiously, feeling strangely aroused by the way you're looking around, lips pulled into a line and the way you're speaking leads him to believe you're talking about a wet dream.

“Li- like one of those dreams”, so he was right, did you have a wet dream about him? That's interesting.

“Hm, you'll have to be more specific, princess”, he pushes, “I don't think I know what you're talking about”

“I mean”, you groan, dropping your head to his shoulder so you won't feel his eyes on you. “A sex dream… with you”, you whisper.

The grin on Chan's face after you finish saying that, is priceless. He can feel his cock twitching, he's eager to know more.

“Tell me more about it”, he presses, “I really wanna know what happened in that dream that left you so embarrassed”

“Please, Chan. Don't make me say it”, you beg, but he's not having it. He likes seeing you blushing and struggling to talk dirty, it's endearing.

“No can do”, he grabs your shoulder to pull you away so he can look at your face. “I promise I'll give a nice reward if you tell me”

You nod. If he won't drop it, then you have to try and earn something over your embarrassing situation.

“I- like- you ate me out”, you start and he smiles, he would indeed love to do that. “And I s-sucked you off, it was nice”, you stumble over your words in each sentence. Chan can only feel even more turned on, your lips are so soft, he can't even picture what it would feel like to have them wrapped around him.

“Keep going, princess. You're doing great”, he reassures you. Chan loosens the grip on your hips, guiding your movements back and forth once again.

“And you said all these dirty things to me, I can't say it out loud, please”, he smirks, pulling you even closer and pressing your covered core against his cock.

“Did I tell you how good it felt to have your pretty little mouth sucking on my cock?” He asks playfully and you nod, feeling the warmth creeping in your face again while that tingly sensation grows bigger in your lower stomach.

“Did we fuck?” He asks, feeling himself getting closer to cum too.

“Yeah”, you nod frantically with your eyes closed shut. “You fucked me on all fours and in this same position too”, you tell him.

“Oh? Did you ride me? Did you like it?”

“I did”, you struggle to make your voice come out, feeling too light headed to even speak properly.

“There's something more, right, baby?” He feels his cock throbbing, he's almost at his limit.

“Yes, you- you choked me a bit, I liked that”, and that sentence was enough to make Chan reach his orgasm, being followed by you right after.

He can't believe he really did cum in his pants, like a fucking teenager. It's your fault actually, how can someone make him cum like this and still look angelic and innocent? Like you never told him he choked you and you liked it, even though it was a dream.

Chan kisses you eagerly this time, his chest is feeling hot and he feels a weird sensation on his stomach.

“You shouldn't feel embarrassed about this kind of thing”, he tells you and you nod, because it's true, “if it makes you feel better, I'm sure I had worse thoughts about you”, he smiles, seeing you blush.

“Like what?” You ask, curiously.

“Oh, I won't tell you”, he shakes his head, “you would never look at me again if you knew all the dirty things I wanna do to you”

—

Another week went by and now you were not avoiding Chan anymore. He follows you around pretty much all day at school, stealing kisses and pulling you to empty classrooms to have make out sessions.

It's time for him to meet your parents, it's not something he ever did, he never dated anyone after all. It's a Wednesday night, he brought flowers and a bottle of wine. So five minutes before the set time, he's knocking at your door.

Your sister opens up, greeting him but you're nowhere to be found until he hears your voice from upstairs.

“Is he already here?” You sound panicked and your sister giggles.

“Yes! Hurry up”, she says and Chan hears something falling and making a weird noise. It was not loud enough to be a person so he's not worried you fell, but he finds it funny to think about you nervously stumbling around.

When you show up at the top of the stairs, he has to blink a few times to actually believe you're real. You look so beautiful, showing your nice legs in a short skirt and your shoulders in a tank top.

“Hey”, you greet him, looking at the things he has in hands and he finally regains his composure.

“Hi”, he gives you a peck on the lips, “this is for you” he hands you a bouquet of red camellias.

You stop for a second, you never received flowers. Before you can answer him, your father's head is popping out of the living room.

“Why is it taking so long for you to bring this guy inside?”, he asks grumpy, he's not too happy about you dating but there's nothing he can do about it.

Chan straightens himself, walking to your father to greet him.

“Good night, sir. I'm Bang Chan”, he clears his throat when your father doesn't say a thing, just staring at him. “I brought this for you”, he shows the wine bottle and your father takes it.

“At least you have good taste”, he nods to the wine bottle Chan stole from his father's collection.

He turns around, shrugging to you and you smile, listening to your sister's chuckles. You take his hand into yours, interlacing your fingers.

In the living room there's a woman that looks too much like you and your sister to not be your mother, she smiles kindly at you two.

She's less intimidating than your father so Chan's greetings to her are less awkward this time. As time goes by, your parents warm up to him, making jokes and even telling him about your childhood.

“The night went great”, you say while walking Chan to his car. “Thank you for coming”

“Your parents are great”, he says, leaning on the door of his car. He takes your hands in his and pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Thank you for inviting me”

He looks so good tonight, his dark hair is carefully styled and he's wearing much more formal clothes than usual, making him look like a prince.

“Can I have a good night’s kiss?” He asks, slyly, seeing you eyeing him up. You nod, putting your hands on his chest and closing the gap between your mouths. Chan's hands slide from your waist to your ass, squeezing slightly, he can't get too into it since he won't be able to go further than a kiss tonight.

You pull away from him when you have to breathe, his lips are so inviting you could kiss him all night long.

“I will see you tomorrow”, he tells you.

There's something wrong with his heart, it's beating so fast he thinks he may be dying. After driving away from you, he calms himself a bit. It's not possible that you were the cause of that reaction, right? This is supposed to be fun, he only has to date you for a while and then break up, no strings attached. So why does he feel such hurt in his chest after thinking about leaving you?

After one more long and sleepless night Chan realized something: he is in love. This feeling snuck in so unexpectedly he didn't even notice he was falling in love. Chan never fell in love before, so he can only guess that this is how it feels to love someone.

He notices every little detail about you, he jokes around all the time waiting to hear you laugh about something he says. Chan likes the way you smell, the way you smile, the way you just look at him so focused while he is speaking. He is in love with your personality, your cleverness, your kindness, your beauty is just a bonus that makes him even more in love with you.

He wants to confess to you, ask you to be his girlfriend, to never leave him.

He even asked for your sister's help to make something for you, maybe a song, he can definitely make something beautiful and romantic for you. Maybe he can cook too, he wants to make you feel appreciated.

He's waiting for your class to finish, seated on the bench in front of the classroom while scrolling through his phone.

He feels someone sitting by his side and before he can look, a kiss lands onto his cheek. Chan puts his hand on his face, blushing and you laugh seeing his reaction. You two did much more than just a kiss on the cheek, why is he embarrassed about it?

“Did you miss me?” You ask him and he rolls his eyes.

“Of course I did”, he grabs your hand, interlacing your fingers. “Should we go to my place?” He asks and you nod, standing up, pulling him to get up too.

It's still a bit weird that you two are together, you never thought liking someone as much as you like Chan could actually happen to you, you could even say you're in love. The only thing that still makes you doubtful is the fact that he didn't ask you to be his girlfriend yet, you have been going out for a month and you do everything together, so why hasn't he made it official?

You still have many questions in your mind, sitting on Chan's bed while he makes popcorn and you choose the movie you're watching tonight.

He enters the room, closing the door and turning off the lights, two water bottles and a huge bowl in his hands.

“What movie did you choose?” He asks, but you can't hear it, your mind is too loud. “Y/N? Are you alright?” He asks, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Are we exclusive?” You ask out of nowhere, ripping the air out of his lungs.

“Yes”, he says firmly, “do you want to be with other people?”

Chan asked that, but he's holding his breath until you answer him, hoping you're going to deny. For a moment, you don't say a thing and seeing you hesitate makes his heart ache.

“No, I-” you try speaking, trying not to sound ridiculous, “I want to be exclusive, I just don't know if you want that”

Chan takes a deep breath, putting the things he has in hands on the nightstand.

“Of course, I want to”, he takes your hand into his, bringing it to his mouth so he can kiss the palm. He's feeling guilty, he's taking his time preparing a nice confession but you're feeling insecure. “I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't want things to get more serious”, he climbs on the bed, getting closer to you, “let me show you that you're the only one I want, hum? Can I?”

You suck on your teeth, knowing exactly what is about to happen but you just can't say no to him, let's be real, you don't want to say no to him. So you nod, making him smile.

Chan is eager to have you, he has been for weeks, just waiting for you to be ready to give yourself to him. He cups your face, pulling you closer and kissing you.

He helps you lay down on the bed, towering over you while landing kisses down your neck. You feel him biting on your shoulder and he brings his hands to the hem of your shirt, pulling it up. His hands travel around your body, making you hotter.

“You're so pretty, princess”, he says, kissing your chest. You whine, he's taking too much time to get to the place you want the most.

“Channie”, you whisper, “please, touch me”, you ask him.

His smile grows bigger as he mumbles “your wish is my command��. Chan unbuttons your pants, pulling them down your legs, throwing it someplace in the room.

He slides his hand down to your core, your underwear is soaked. He pulls your panties down your legs and brushes a finger along your folds, collecting the wetness before inserting a finger inside, you arch your back to the feeling. It's delicious, but it hurts a bit. It's different from how it feels doing it alone.

“Is this okay?” He asks and you nod. “You're such a good girl, baby, all wet and ready for me.” He whispers, getting closer to your face again. I'm going to put another one”, he tells you. The sensation it's too much already, his fingers are too much.

“Chan”, you moan, “I'm gonna cum if you keep doing that”

“Oh? But I didn't even get to the better part”, he answers pressing his thumb on your clit, making circles.

“Fuck”, you whine.

His smirk grows while he keeps the movement of back and forth inside of you. Before he can tease you more, your legs are shaking and your tight hole is clenching around his fingers. You put your hand on your mouth, covering it so you won't make a loud sound, but he doesn't like that. He wants to hear how well he's fucking you.

“Let's not do that, okay? I want you to be loud, want to hear you scream my name” He says, pulling his fingers out of you and sliding them on his mouth. He comes closer, kissing your neck and face, helping you calm down after your orgasm.

Goosebumps rise all over your body, his kisses feel like fire on your skin, you thought you'd feel less horny after cumming, but you're still so turned on.

Chan kisses your chest, opening your bra. You feel embarrassed when he sees you completely naked.

“You're still dressed”, you point out, face red.

He gets out of the bed immediately, taking his shirt off and his pants too, crawling back to you in only his underwear. His cock is hard, outlined by the thin fabric of his boxers.

You feel the urge to touch him, maybe taste it. So you grab his length, making him groan.

“What are you doing, princess?” He asks, eyes closed from the pleasure of having your beautiful hands wrapped around him.

“I want to make you feel good”, you tell him, pushing his chest and making him fall on his back on the bed. You kiss his neck the same as he was doing to you, suddenly feeling possessive and sucking on the skin, leaving a few hickeys there.

You go down, kissing his chest and stomach, getting closer and closer to his throbbing cock. You pull his underwear down and his cock spring on your face.

“I just- you need to teach me”, you tell him. How can you look at him with such innocence in your eyes when you're about to suck him off?

“Hold the base”, he instructs, “now you can go up and down with your hand.”

 He feels your movements, making him groan. You are bolder than he gives you credit for, since you lick the head of his cock without being told to. You wrap his dick with your mouth, waiting for the next command.

“You can go up and down, princess, yes, like that” he moans, feeling his cock being embraced by your warm mouth.

Chan feels like exploding any time now, weeks of pent-up sexual tension being released. He sees you rubbing yourself on his bed while sucking on him, that just makes him crazier, he wants to make you feel good now, he can let you do the same for him another time.

“Baby”, you hear him say and you stop your movements. “I won't be able to last long with your soft mouth doing that, I need to feel you around my cock”

You nod, letting go of his cock and climbing up, stopping on top of Chan.

“I wanna be on top”, you say confidently.

“Let's do it slowly okay? I don't want to hurt you”, Chan tells you and you agree.

He grabs the base of his cock, brushing the head on your folds, trying to wet it enough to make it easier for you.

It feels like heaven when his cock finally slides inside of you, you're so tight he feels like he can cum at any moment.

Chan sees the pain in your eyes, he doesn't move, “do you want to stop?” He asks worriedly, putting his hands on your hips to stop you from moving but you shake your head.

You keep pushing it in, trying to relax. Chan kisses you, massaging your breasts to help you relax a bit.

When the painful part is gone and you're feeling all the good sensations back, you don't think you can stop, it's too addictive. You start riding on him freely, hands taking support on his chest and head thrown back, the pleasure is just too much, you'll be coming soon.

“Fuck, you look so good riding me, princess”, he says, feeling his own high almost catching him.

“Oh, Channie, I'm gonna cum”, you whine, fastening the movements of your hips, “please, oh, your cock feels so good”

For someone who couldn't talk about a wet dream a few weeks ago you sure talk dirty in real life, Chan chuckles, feeling you clenching around him and when you squeeze his cock for the last time he cums too, filling you up.

You collapse on top of him, breathing heavily. Your eyes are heavy, you're not sure if you can stay awake. Chan caresses your back and plays with your hair, making you fall fast asleep.

You wake up feeling just a bit sore. You're on cloud nine, the night was amazing. When you open your eyes, there's no one in the bed with you. You wrap yourself in the blankets trying to find and collect all your clothes scattered around the room.

The delicious smell that embraces your nose the moment you step out of the room, is enough to make you drool.

Chan is in the kitchen, dressed in nothing but sweatpants and an apron. That's right, he's shirtless. You're feeling bold today, so you get closer to him wrapping your arms around his waist in a back hug.

He lets out a laugh, putting his hand over yours and turning off the stove. He turns around, hugging you.

“Did you sleep well?” He asks, kissing your forehead and you nod, snuggling in his embrace.

“Why didn't you wake me earlier? I woke up missing you”

“Ow, my baby is so needy”, he teases, making you pout. “I was making you, breakfast”

“Hm”, you look at what he was cooking.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, a bit worried, it was your first time after all.

“I'm doing great”, you smile, “just a bit sore, but it's nothing”

He nods, putting his hands on your shoulders and turning you around.

“I'm happy to hear that”, he kisses the top of your head, guiding you to take a seat on the table. “Let's eat so we can go for another round then”, he smirks.

—

“Jeongin is coming here today?” You ask your sister and she nods frantically while fixing her hair.

“He's coming to ask dad's permission to date me”, she giggles excitedly.

“Alright”, you smile seeing your sister so happy.

You're the one opening the door for Jeongin while your sister is getting ready, he's clearly nervous but he's trying to keep his smile.

“Hey!” You give space for him to enter, “Yuna is almost done”

He nods, looking around. Your sister comes down minutes later, leading Jeongin to the living room.

Your father is less hostile to him than he was to Chan, maybe it's because Jeongin is adorable.

After an hour of conversation, you go upstairs, you have a date tonight and need to get ready.

The memories from your night with Chan flood your mind making you giggle and kick your feet, they have been your most cherished thoughts lately. It's a struggle but you finally end your bath after probably an hour.

You walk back to your room, you're already late. However, you stop in front of your sister's room when you hear voices being a little bit too loud.

“You did what, Jeongin?” your sister's voice is a pitch higher than usual.

“I didn't think things would get out of hand”, Jeongin answers, are they fighting?

“In what world did you think that was a good idea?”

“I was desperate, I'm not proud of that”, he answers back.

“There's no excuse for you to ask Bangchan to date my sister”, she tries speaking lower but you still can hear them. Your whole world crumbles with that one sentence, what does she mean by that?

“I didn't do it to be mean, I know how hard it is for your sister to get to meet new people, I thought it would benefit the both of us”, he tries explaining. Your heart is beating too fast, the throbbing in your ears grows stronger and your legs are giving out.

“How am I supposed to tell her now? She is so happy” Yuna cries out. “Don't come any closer, get out of here”, you panic instantly, they can't see you there. But you're too slow, when you finally manage to move Jeongin is swinging the door open. He stops on his tracks, turning white on the spot.

“Y/N-”, he tries to speak, but you run to your room before he can say anything else.

You can't believe this is actually happening to you, you thought that someone finally liked you but everything was a lie? That's not possible, right?

You are going to go to Chan, you two have a date, and he is going to tell you that Jeongin is lying, that he was just joking.

The uber to Chan's apartment doesn't seem to show up fast enough and the ride there couldn't be slower. You're restless, fidgeting with your fingers and shaking your legs.

You pay the man, practically running out of the car and running upstairs. The person who opens the door is not Chan but Changbin, you met him a few times when you were visiting the apartment.

“Hey, y/n”, Changbin greets you. “Chan is not home, but he will be here soon, I heard you have a date”, he says, letting you in.

“I'm going to wait for him in his room”, you tell him, too disturbed to worry about proper manners.

You walk back and forth in the room, anxiously waiting for Chan's arrival. You hear his voice after twenty minutes, he's talking to his friend in the living room when Changbin tells him you're there.

You can hear the fast footsteps leading to where you are, you take a deep breath, trying not to cry.

“Hey, baby”, Chan smiles at you, dropping his bag on the floor and walking towards you with open arms. “Did something happen?” He stops, noticing your face.

You stare at him for a minute, brows knit together and eyes trying to find the least bit of sincerity in the time you two spent together.

“Did you ask me out as a favor to Jeongin?” You ask and his standing falter, how did you find out?

“L-let me explain”, he says, taking a step closer to you.

“So you did”, you feel the tears trying to escape from your eyes.

“Please, just… just hear what I have to say”, he asks, trying to hold your hand, but you pull away from him.

“I don't want to hear a thing from you”, you tell him, running your hands through your hair.

It really was all a lie. How could you be so dumb?

You walk past him, trying to get out of the room, go anywhere but there. But Chan grabs your arm, making you stop in your tracks.

“Please, don't leave”, he begs. You feel a pang in your chest, but it doesn't make a difference since you're already hurting too much.

“You have no right to ask me that”, you pull your arm out of his grasp and walk out of the apartment.

It would be too humiliating to enter the uber while bawling your eyes out, so you decide to walk. You walk for a long time before your feet start hurting and your eyes are burning from how much you cried. You can't believe you really let yourself fall pray to such a scheme, you thought you were smarter than that.

It's obvious you only fell for it because it's Chan, you were attracted to him since the first time you laid eyes on him. You try to believe that it wouldn't be that easy to trick you if it was anyone else.

After at least two hours, you finally reach your house and you're feeling utterly miserable. You greet your parents and walk upstairs, anxiously searching for your room so you can finally let yourself fall and cry as much as you can.

Your sister is seated on your bed, biting on her nails. She stands up as soon as she sees you.

“I'm really sorry”, she says, teary.

You sigh, feeling the weight on your chest even heavier.

“It's not your fault”, you tell her. You start to undress, looking for your pajamas so you can snuggle on your bed until all of this passes.

“I shouldn't have started dating before you”, she whines.

“I don't blame you, so stop doing that to yourself”, you say, even though you feel a bit of resentment because Jeongin likes her truly, he likes her because she's her. Of course no one's going to like you, you're… you.

“But”, she bites on her lower lip, not sure if she should say this, “I think Chan really likes you-”, she stops talking when you give her the meanest glare you ever threw in someone's way.

“I don't want to hear it”, you say.

“He even asked help so he could confess to you in a way you would like”, she continues.

“I'm not going to repeat myself”, you say and your sister knows that tone too well, it's better for her to stay silent for the time being. “If you're done, I would like to be alone”

Yuna nods, glancing at you all the way to the door.

You collapse on your bed, finally able to cry your eyes out without people looking at you in a weird way. This is the moment you realize how much you love Bang Chan, the pain you're feeling is greater than anything you ever felt in your whole life, you truly don't think you'll be able to survive this.

Chan is an idiot, he knows this and you are right to never look at his face again. But even though he knows you're right, he can't accept the thought of you leaving him.

He tried calling and texting you, you blocked him. He tried talking to your sister, she cursed him out and told him to leave you alone. She and Jeongin are on bad terms right now but they didn't break up yet.

He tried to find you in the university, but you didn't show up for the entire week, he just doesn't know what to do.

“You are an idiot”, Hyunjin says after listening to the whole story, “you should have told her about it while you still had time”

“I didn't know I was in love”, Chan runs his hands through his hair, “not until it was too late”

His friend sighs, he just can't see Chan like that anymore. He's just miserable, he looks like he's dying and Hyunjin doesn't doubt it could actually happen at this point.

So as a good friend, he takes this matter into his own hands and calls your sister, trying to convince her to listen to Chan and maybe forgive Jeongin too, Hyunjin is tired of him whining all day long.

“Did you really call me here for this?”, Yuna asks, ready to grab her things and go home.

“Hear me out, okay?” He says. “I know what they did was wrong but they regret it, Jeongin even told you about it”

She huffs, crossing her arms.

“He told me because I was talking about how Chan wanted to ask y/n to be his girlfriend”, she says. “He felt guilty, he would have never told me about it otherwise”

“Chan really likes y/n, he really wants to be with her”

Yuna sighs, she knows that. There was no way Chan could fake the way he looked at you.

“She's not going to believe that”, Yuna says, “y/n is heartbroken, she's not even going to her classes. She just stays in her room all day, crying’

“There's nothing better to fix her broken heart then”, Hyunjin points out, “let's help them meet, they can talk things out that way”

“She doesn't want to see him”, Yuna sighs, “but I do think this is the best solution”

“Okay, I'll text you the day and time, just bring y/n, Chan will take care of the rest”

Yuna nods, collecting her things but before she can stand up, Hyunjin's voice sounds again.

“About Jeongin-”, he starts, but she cuts him off right away.

“This whole mess started because of Jeongin”, she takes a deep breath, “after y/n and Chan resolve this matter I'll see what I'm going to do about him”

Yuna turns around, leaving Hyunjin there. At least he got Chan a chance, he can't save everyone.

Chan can't take it anymore, he has to see you. So he musters all the courage he has and goes to your house. It doesn't help that it's 2 a.m. so everyone is sleeping, except you it seems, since there's light coming from your room.

He begins throwing rocks at your window, trying to make you notice him and after a few tries he sees your face popping out.

Chan wishes he didn't come at all, your face is puffy so he knows you have been crying and the way you're looking at him, it's just awful, he feels despicable. More than he has felt all this time without you.

“What do you want?” You ask, at least you didn't ignore him.

“Can you come down for a bit?”

You sigh, you don't actually want to, but you're afraid he'll make too much noise trying to convince you to go down and wake up the neighbors or even worse, your parents.

You close the window, he knew it would be hard, that you wouldn't want to see him. Before he can turn around and walk away, Chan hears the sound of the front door opening.

You are in your pajamas, holding yourself trying to protect your body from the cold air.

You stop in your tracks, looking at him with an intense gaze, like you can read all his thoughts and know about all his mistakes.

“How have you been?” He asks and you scoff.

“Are you here to survey my mood? I have been feeling like shit, what about you?” He remembers the first time he talked to you, how he wished to see you mad, now he regrets that. He never wanted to see you mad at him.

“I'm not well either”, he says.

You sigh.

“Now that we know how each other is feeling, you can go”, you tell him.

“Can you let me explain?” He pleads.

“Did you start dating me as a favor for Jeongin?” You ask and he sighs, nodding. “That's all I need to know, I would appreciate it if you don't come looking for me anymore”, you say, turning around and going back inside. Tears start running down your face while you go back to your room, when will this pain subside?

—

You are finally back at school, after moping around all day at home for an entire week, you decided it was time to get back to your life. Staying at home just made you feel worse, you didn't have a thing to distract yourself so you ended up thinking about Chan the whole time. That only weakened your resolve to forget about him, you avoided coming to school because you knew you would give in if he tried to approach you.

Your day goes by fast enough and you just want to go home to lay on your bed. You feel your phone buzzing, it's a message from Jeongin. You were so angry with Chan that you forgot to block him.

He should be begging to meet Yuna, so why is he asking to meet you? Maybe he wants your help to fix things between them.

You don't know why you decided to meet him, maybe it's curiosity to know why he did such a thing to you or maybe you want to look at his face and curse at him.

He arrives at the cafe at the set time, looking around for you and walking towards you when his eyes lock with yours.

“Hey”, he says, sitting in front of you. You don't say anything back, not in the mood to be polite.

Jeongin sighs, he expected this much.

“I wanted to talk with you about this whole situation, believe me I didn't mean to hurt you even though it ended up happening in the end-”

“I considered you my friend”, you say making him stop talking.

“I- I'm”, he says, voice a pitch higher.

“Friends don't do what you did”, you say and he nods.

“I know it was an ill executed plan, but my intentions weren't bad, I swear”, he tells you.

“And do your intentions matter if I was the one hurt in the end?” You ask, angrier now.

“No”, he answers. “I'm truly sorry, I swear, I just caught you staring at Chan more than once. I thought this would be good for us both but I was clearly wrong”

You huff, exhausted. You start collecting your things to go home but you hear Jeongin's voice once more.

“Chan really likes you, he fell in love with you”, he says and your heart skips a beat, it shouldn't be behaving like this, not after the heartbreak you are going through.

“I don't care, he lost his chance”, you answer firmly, even though you know it's not true.

“Are you sure?” Jeongin asks, ���are you sure you won't regret it? Not let him explain or not hearing him out?”

You glance at him once more, before standing up and walking out of the cafe.

Your mid terms are finally over, that means, you don't have anything to study so you're stuck with your thoughts. Your phone buzzes in your pocket, it's a message from Yuna, asking you to meet her in the arts department.

You reply, saying you'll be there in a moment. What is she even doing there? She's a business major.

The arts department is not far from yours, but it's emptier than you are used to. She asked you to meet in the first classroom of the second floor.

When you open the door, the first thing you see is Bang Chan. He looks awful, worse than you even.

You try going back, but he already saw you, so he stands up, coming closer.

“Don't leave, I'll do anything just… don't leave”

He's pale, and the eyebags he normally has are darker than usual.

“Are you sick?” You ask, worried. It's not like you can stop loving him in such a short period of time, of course you're worried.

“No”, he says, “I mean, I'm not feeling well, but I don't think I have an illness”

You nod, feeling awkward. It's been a while since you felt this way about him.

“Okay, then I'll get going”, you say trying to leave, but his voice stops you.

“I love you”, he is desperate, you can hear it in his voice. However, you're too petty.

“This was part of Jeongin’s plan too?”, you scoff, seeing his lips trembling.

He takes a deep breath, he deserves that, he knows he does.

“I really started going out with you because Jeongin asked”, he starts explaining, “but I fell in love with you, for real”

You feel your heart ache once more, he's about to cry, you can see it. But you're not sure if you can forgive him, even if what he's telling you is true.

“I don't believe you”, you say, shrugging, trying to hold your own tears.

“I will do anything to prove it to you, just say what I need to do for you to believe me”, he says, taking a step closer to you.

“I'm not sure if I'll be able to forget this or even forgive you, Chan”, you sigh, letting your heart speak and not your anger.

“I know I messed up, I don't deserve you I know that too”, he grabs your hand, “but please, I'll prove to you that I deserve a second chance, I'll earn back your trust”, he pleads.

You sigh, even after all this, it seems you still can't say no to him.

“I'm going to need some time”, you say slowly, “but I will give you a second chance, you better not ruin it”, you say.

Chan can't believe you're really going to try and forgive him, he can't ask for anything more.

“I won't disappoint you this time, I promise”, he says, kissing the palm of your hand, the same way he did before.

“Let's see about that”, you sigh, feeling your heart beating fast once again.

You may be making a stupid choice, but you'll only learn by making mistakes. You just sure hope this is not one.

A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback gives me motivation to keep writing.

[crimeronan]

On the topic of How Do You Handle XYZ Comment, I've always wondered how you handle terrible responses on your toh takes. Like I know the toh fandom doesn't lack piss on the poor reading comprehension and they also really enjoy wildly out of touch takes, but I've never seen any comments on your princess luz stuff of that nature. I'm sure they must be there but maybe I'm too early? But anyway, how do you tend to deal with the "acktually shipping luz and Hunter is incest" and the "ur not a real lesbian because putting amity in a poly ship is lesbian erasure" and the "as a white person kinda sus you make the poc woman an empress" kind of responses? Ones that are technically not hate and maybe if you squint could be from people who aren't inherently trying to do bad but just lack the maturity needed to engage with the internet at large?

this ask made me giggle. honestly, i haven't received as much pushback as you might expect! way less pushback than i expected. in the princess AU, i've gotten a LOT more "this is actually too grotesque for me to stomach" comments than "this is problematic" comments, which is fine. horror-thriller isn't for everyone, those comments do not upset me.

i have had a Few run-ins with bad faith people, whom i mostly block. there's one prolific commenter in toh tumblr fandom who would repeatedly write angry essays on my humor meta posts -- essays that were all about how belos is too evil to be sympathetic and/or about how hunter is a soft gentle boy who shouldn't be jokingly referred to as evil. then they'd go "i can't help my active and conscious decision to type a bunch of rude fucking words and then my active and conscious decision to send those rude fucking words because i'm autistic :(((" around the fourth or fifth time this happened, i was fucking done with that nonsense and finally blocked them. shoulda done it after the first comment tbh!! no more autism exceptions.

as for the rest of it, my main management strategy is to simply.... preempt the bad faith comments?

i had a LOT more unpleasant and conflict-filled fandom experiences when i was in the raven cycle fandom. that was my first exposure to "you can't ship multi-gender polycules if anyone involved is gay" and "queerplatonic het relationships are just heteronormativity shipping that you're trying to get away with." having dealt with those takes before, i've found a few different ways to disarm bad faith readers before they get started.

first is to be super open and honest about my interests. i talk about what i find compelling in different relationships All The Damn Time. it's really hard for anyone to accuse me of only wanting hunter to fuck amity if they've seen, like.... anything i've said about hunter and amity.

same with hunter and luz. the only negative reactions i've really gotten to how they're written in the princess AU is like.... two people being squicked by camila thinking they're romantically involved. i REALLY expected more pushback on the touchyfeely bed sharing stuff, but from what i remember, there's never been Any....? not even from people who consider them siblings.

i expected a lot of pushback on how mean hunter and amity are to each other, since it's taken So much farther than the canon. but it turns out that there's a very large overlap between people who like dark horror AUs and people who like hunter and amity murdering each other. (in a fluffy fic i don't think this characterization would fly Nearly as easily.)

i find that being funny really disarms people, too. when you look at any of my toh meta posts that could be controversial, they're basically all funny. people are a lot more willing to listen to what you have to say if you make them laugh, and it's harder for them to get angry at you.

and then the last thing is that i think i'm in sort of a privileged position in toh fandom. i've written a lot of controversial subjects and relationships and characterizations.... but i've also written some WILDLY popular mainstream fic. and people who like the mainstream fic don't really want to beef with me about differing niche opinions, bc there's a level of respect there. which they might not have for a writer they don't like.

but anyway. when things Do happen, i almost always just block and move on. there are so many people here who get what i'm talking about that there's no need for me to try to convert people who don't, you know??

[epickiya722]

[NOTE: This is long! This is an actual ask about Mineta and among other things that I thought maybe some of you may be interested in reading, but because the font is in orange (due to Tumblr glitching out on Anon and their autism) I'm posting it like this. I'm not too bothered by the color, but I'm sure there are others who may find it unreadable. Now, you do not have to read it. And if you do read it, you may comment or just send me an ask ONLY if you're polite. Don't attack anyone over this. No matter how you may feel about Mineta, BNHA, Horikoshi, a dog, a cat, ANYTHING or ANYONE... DO NOT BE DISRESPECTFUL. Please keep any of your comments that you know are rude to yourself. And now, you may proceed if you choose to.]

Horikoshi said once in some interview that mineta is essentially a self-insert. Coincidentally, early-mha horikoshi had some pretty pervy tendencies (much like mineta—probably why he thought it would be cool to have such a character never really face consequences). The most famous example of this is probably the girls hero costumes, most notably Yaoyorozu. He mentions in an aside very early on in the story (volume three or something?) that he can’t seem to help himself and her boob window always gets bigger every time he draws it. Then there’s uraraka saying she didn’t want such a tight costume, Hagakure being naked, etc. When the anime started airing there was another interview where he said he really appreciated them making uraraka curvier than in the manga, because he likes curvy women. One could also use midnight and mount lady as examples of this but I’d say it’s more of a way of discussing mature themes surrounding hero society and all of its consequences rather than actual sexualisation. Something that sets him apart, even at this early stage, from other shonen mangakas is that he doesn’t only do this to the women, but the men as well. If Yaoyorozus hero costume is revealing, what about kirishimas (this comparison is my favourite because they both need skin showing for their quirks to function well, so why is one considered bad and the other fine? Because one is a boy and one is a girl? Please keep in mind I am not trying to say that kirishima is sexualized. It’s just food for thought)? If urarakas suit is considered too tight, then look at all might. You could probably see the outline of his dick from fifteen yards away when he wears that costume. Then there’s mineta, who makes certain comments regarding the women in his class. But what about mount lady and how she treats shoto? Or one of the wild wild pussy cats asking the boys in class 1-A how old they are to see how long til she can marry them? Unlike basically every other shonen out there, the sexualisation (at least as far as I can tell) is not based in sexism. It’s across the board, and we only notice it more when it happens to women because we are used to it happening to women.

For a long time, I hated horikoshi for the same reasons I hated mineta (it was a love-hate relationship for obvious reasons). He was openly perverted and seemingly one of *those* guys. You know, the ones I’d be afraid to walk near after dark. Or before dark. But I still loved mha and really appreciated what he was doing within the story. As a side note, he writes the women very well, which is rare in shonen (again—love hate relationship with dear old horikoshi). But if you’ll notice, the farther along in the story you look, the less sexualisation there is. It’s gradual so you hardly notice, but compare volume four or five to volume thirty. The difference is stark. It’s not really that mineta has less lines (although since the war started that has been the case) he still talks, just differently.

I think what happened is, when mha started getting popular, horikoshi started seeing huge pushback to minetas character, which probably all came to a head when the anime made him say something super fucked up to eri. I don’t recall if it was in dub or sub or both, but reading back through the manga it’s a bit different and honestly could’ve been poor translation or my own misinterpretation. But in the anime it was clear what he meant. He can’t wait for eri to be older, for exactly the reason you’re thinking now. The process of horikoshi realizing his mistakes started long before this, though, and gradually you can watch him patch up the holes if you pay attention. The anime does a poor job of this, at least until season six. But around the time that season four ends (and this is present in the manga too) there is a scene of Mina tying mineta to a chair and forcing him to watch something. After that, the sexualisation in the manga is gone for good. I’d like to interpret this as horikoshi finalizing his realization and own personal character development. He is no longer pervy, just like mineta is no longer pervy.

The one exception to this rule is that infamous chapter cover. The one with Hagakure on the front? Yeah, when I saw that, it made me rethink all of this. For about two weeks I was convinced that I’d been wrong about it, and he really is just a pervert after all. But lo and behold, he said in an interview that he was running behind and didn’t have time to draw or pick a chapter cover. He handed a bunch of old concept art to one of the higher ups and told them to pick something. He said he was never expecting that drawing to see the light of day, and he figured they’d choose something a little more suited to the story. (A little fucked up that he drew that? Yes, I think so. But keep in mind, these are *old* drawings. People are allowed to change and, following this metric, I think horikoshi has changed quite a bit.)

All of this is to say, mineta is not really a bad person anymore, and also has incredible writing (whether it was purposeful from the beginning or a last minute change) which just goes to show how talented horikoshi really is.

[prismatic-starstuff]

Oh wonderful!! My woman* isn't super ready yet but I know a few things and I have a few ideas. For one, she'll be as feral as the game will allow me to be. This is a woman who SUCKS. Considering that, apparently, the elves are sometimes insultingly called "bat-face", I decided to lean into that and make her a bit bat-like. Not sure how much yet, that's...what I need to sketch out. But she'll have these unnaturally tilted very round beady eyes and very large ears. She'll be a bit tan and have a blond buzzcut because idk when I went "I think elves should look uncanny" I very vividly imagined a tanned wiry and lanky elven lady with pitch black eyes and very short hair. And I see no reason to change what my imagination instinctively thought of.

I'm thinking of playing as a mage, but also I'm pretty sure I want to be a mage in Veilguard and playing as a mage in both games feels a bit stale? So maybe I'll go for a rogue? But also being a mage in DAI feels like it could be juicy? So I have to think about that.

Personality-wise, I am undecided between two concepts and I'll go with whichever one the game will allow me to actually play out. In either case, she'll be absolutely rancid. If BG3 was fantasy Gnosticism, I'm sure DA can be fantasy Catholicism. If I just squint hard enough. I mean there are inquisitions, I can find a way to shove something catholic in there. Well it doesn't really matter, what matters is that there IS a religious system and that means there can be fanaticism. This character I'll be playing will either be the most fanatical person ever...or someone who just doesn't care but SEEMS like a fanatic, because it's the kind of person who will invite Jehovah's witnesses for a cup of tea and nod along as they monologue not because the person would agree but because they find it entertaining.

Honestly both of these routes are fine with me because both of them happen in real life but the actual fundamentalists and fanatics usually don't make it to the top because they care too much to ever get there. Like, most people who sit at the top of fundie spaces aren't actually in it for the love of the game, they're in it to win it. And it makes sense because you have to do a lot of things that go directly against your cause and your faith when you're at the top of such a space. So yeah.

I'm not sure what uuuh elf devotional tattoo, I forgot what they're called, I'll give her yet. I'm thinking either Mythal for the irony or Elgar'nan for it to actually fit. Can't decide if I want to go with the hilarious irony or not.

Also...the funny thing is...I don't think she'll be like...rancid in communication? Like...she won't be as friendly as my BG3 guy "Osob", but she won't be rude either, I think. It's like...she will be rancid, but it's the kind of rancid you see in a person only when they let their guard down and you realise "Wait hold up, this person I've been friends with for so long believes THIS???". But idk about that yet. Most of all I just want her to be a hungry rabid coyote staring at you from the dark.

So far I'm thinking of naming her Willa, derived from William Phipps who gave the go ahead for Salem witch trials, or Olivaria, derived from Oliver Cromwell, who didn't really have a hand in inquisitions but he was a fanatical piece of shit.

*yeah ok so about that. This is the part where I pull out a move the game itself can't handle so it has to exist only in my imagination. So yes, she will be a woman in Inquisition. But. I just think it'd be really funny if she realised that she isn't a she after the events of the game. Now you might be asking yourself why I'd bust out such a convoluted move. Honestly I don't know how to make this sound normal, but there are several factors at play here, the most important being that I need the inquisitor to fuck Solas (because I need to know what the deal is. I need to understand what's going on in this place.) (honestly not sure how I'll even manage that tho because I...I don't think anyone will want to romance this inquisitor. Who the hell would want this rat.) but I feel like it'd be funny to sorta game the straight-lock. Like "Oh, I have to be a female elf to romance him? Checkmate, my character just doesn't know that he's trans yet." And honestly the really petty person in me also doesn't want to be just another elven woman inquisitor with a bun. But also yeah I think it'd be really funny. Like all around. For everyone. Imagine you're the inquisitor and you think you're a cis woman and then the plot happens and right after everything is over you're like "...I think this journey may have unlocked something in me."

oooooooooh so i am late to this but i Absolutely love the concept; love a rancid individual, always super fun!!

my plan was also to have my lavellan be trans in veilguard and i am... legitimately sad about the fact that apparently that won't be possible according to a recent interview, but ah well; doesn't matter what bioware have to say about it, we write our own canon for our own characters!

i wish you and your inquisitor the best of luck in your solas-fucking adventures :3

[nanjokei]

ok heres what ive been thinking of recently

honestly its just raw emotion, i dont really mean to upset anyone or say that they're consuming anything wrong. i'll try to word things as carefully as possible (or ill mince meat as much as possible idk) because i really do not like when people assume ill intent in my words just because i use blunt language at times. (sorry its just how i talk. im not mad at you. im not yelling at you online)

but honestly i have had a long thought about it.

i'm incredibly tired of the lack of curiousity a lot of new vocaloid fans have towards the culture.

statements like "boomers expect me to know songs from 2007" or whatever. i mean, no, no one is Expecting anything from you, that is absolutely a strawman you have invented based on someone merely being surprised (often in jest even), but it's also like. you, who actively identify yourself as a big fan, have never even thought to look back? there are so many playlists and medleys you can consult. it is a few searches away, i don't care. you are not five years old. and if you feel lost you can always ask people there are always so many people just waiting to introduce someone to even one or two old songs they like.

like is it bad that i think you should be a little more passionate if you consider yourself a geek?

what is wrong with me being surprised if you don't know sakura no ame or saihate or whatever. what is wrong with me thinking that it's weird that even with the biggest producers in the world, you have 0 curiousity to look into their old works?

it's not me being old and cranky, i just think it's a little bad and disrespectful that a lot of new fans just see older songs as inherently worse or not worth their time and use them as a strawman to invent some kind of boomer boogeyman who is going after them for not knowing shiningray or celluloid or ikelenka or whatever. even though honestly you should know them. even if you only listen to it once and decide you don't like it, or hell even just know they exist without listening.

like, songs with millions of views on nnd, i want you to at least familiarize yourself, especially if the producers are still active! at the very least!

whats wrong with me wanting people to enjoy amazing music that built up an entire subculture? made by passionate people who didn't even know the scene could last as long as it did? what's wrong with wanting to share my love with another generation?

i'm not denying that there may be outliers who are rude to other fans, but come the fuck on, stop acting coy about it. you should at least be able to recognize one of either the title, sound or thumbnail of the top 100 songs from 2009. not even KNOW them, just recognize, like is that too much to ask?

like, it's something i personally struggle to understand in general when it comes to interests i'm passionate about. i'm not a pushy person by the way, i don't go around heckling people not even as a joke, so i am not even letting anyone put me in the box of "probably acted pushy and didn't realize and is now mad at the other party". like, this is not directed at casual fans. i am just thinking stuff like "why are you hostile towards the idea of learning more about your interest?" and "why are you hostile towards passionate people who want more people to get into what they like?" and "why pigeonhole yourself? learning more means more fun for you."

because what bothers me the most is that eventually it turns into accusations of "gatekeeping" and "elitism" if anyone voiced their opinion about things. i know how im wording it makes it sound like it personally happened to me but it hasn't it is just what i have observed over the years as someone who gets super into stuff and tries to immerse myself and sees other people get into fights whether its the """elitist""" or the """casual""".

why is it like this? i cannot see why wanting to share is elitism or gatekeeping. maybe elitism sure if the other party feels like they're being targeted for no reason (and im not saying it does not happen). but gatekeeping? why is it gatekeeping? wanting to share what you like with others is gatekeeping? isn't that if you told people NOT to get into it and hid it away?

like, im saying it properly so no one misconstrues what i am saying, but i understand not everyone wants or has the energy to become a big fan of something. there are so many things where i am a very casual fan!! but even then i respect the thing i am into by also acknowledging its history at the very least even if i might not ever play/watch/read/etc all of it or at all.

so like... is it bad? is it bad that i think others should have this respect too? i know this is an issue of low empathy or whatever. i have to run around in circles to understand others. i "get" it, but im also like, why cant they be like me? so i want you to know in no uncertain terms that I GET IT. I GET PEOPLE'S POSITIONS HERE. i have been thinking about this general topic my entire life

so in the end it just turned into a general sort of thing. but yeah, i don't understand why people get so defensive and act so persecuted. am i wrong in my point of view? am i just being an elitist after all? like i simply see it as "i want people to enjoy it too."

like, i thought about this stuff after seeing how passionate ado is about vocaloid. like, she is only 21 years old. she is as old as or slightly older than many new fans (though she had liked vocaloid since elementary school). she is the biggest pop star in japan right now and yet her passion has not waned. not to mention so many younger fans that do have that curiousity too. i used to think its not possible, but i see them in the YT comments, going "im 16 but i really like this era of music" and such.

like, please just open your heart. ignore the boogeymen you're hallucinating and just enjoy slowly... it doesn't have to be a study session. naturally you will just discover more songs you like from those eras

[mlobsters]

supernatural s8e15 man's best friend with benefits (w. brad buckner, eugenie ross-leming)

i enjoy a good play on words as much as the next person but combining dog and sex for your episode name is an interesting choice

well dang, indoor pool and sauna? i wanna go

DEAN 'Cause you did just gank a Hellhound, which is no slice of pie, and, uh, there is a mine field of who knows what crap ahead. Just want to make sure that you are okay. SAM I'm good. DEAN 'Cause, you know, we could find another devil dog. You could tag out. I could snuff the son of a bitch.

so i viewed this as him just trying to protect sam but now i see

i've never had such shifting opinions on a tv person's hair like i do sam's. at least half the time i actively dislike it. at most 5-10% of the time, i think damn it looks good! this shot in particular was one of the special few. his hair is beautiful, the styling/cut is what lets it down when it does

i sure hope he's not hallucinating again because that'd be a cruel trick. hmm, also in my musings adjacent to fuckup vs righteous man, i've thought about how they show sam's suffering onscreen a lot (mystery spot [lol i won't let it go], hallucifer, whatever the trials shit is gonna be) but dean we get the emotional suffering aftermath. sidenote, logistically made sense for a whole bucket of reasons of course, but (for me, personally) thank goodness dean's hell experience was offscreen almost entirely.

sounds like padalecki is sick

um. a doberman that transformed into a black woman. with the huge sparkly bright pink dog collar still on

and this white dude witch is her master?? wtffff. don't really care what backpedaling they do, that was a shitty choice

DEAN Well, I'm concerned. SAM Concerned about the, uh -- the witch-killing spell... or that I'm gonna mess these trials up? DEAN Look, we get too far down the road with this, we can't go back, and it'll be too late for me to jump in. SAM Who says that you're gonna have to? You know, maybe I'll actually pull this one off. DEAN I'm just saying. SAM I know what you're saying, Dean. You've said it. You know, I've been going over this and over this, asking myself "why doesn't he trust me?" And it occurred to me, finally. It's not that you don't trust me. It's that you can only trust you. DEAN Are you done? SAM Yeah, I'm done if you're done.

ugh 💔 and to be so forthright telling him how he keeps asking himself why dean doesn't trust him. and the super quick "i'm done if you're done" response has such a particular flavor of... well. something i'm very familiar with. the vulnerability of showing that he's hurt over not being trusted, that it isn't just anger, and dean basically ignoring it.. feeling of inside, shut that shit down asap and move on. don't know what he was going for particularly but it struck a chord obviously for me

phillippe LeChat. 🥴

????????

like, we can't have dean or sam fucking anyone at the moment so we're just gonna have these two do it. was there a sex scene quotient that needed to be filled?

episode title way more literal than i expected.

DEAN I got to ask. I-I can't help but wonder -- PORTIA Which came first, dog or girl? DEAN Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'm just curious as to which one you consider yourself, mostly. PORTIA This have anything to do with what I told you about James and me last night? How you're imagining it? DEAN What? No, that's... yes.

dean said (sentient) dogfucker rights?

SAM Oh, by the way, got to hand it to you. It's been 15 hours since Portia mentioned her night with James, and not one bestiality joke outta ya.

not for us though

wonder how many times i miss that he's messing with the scar on his hand

okay.

geez i shouldn't have mentioned onscreen suffering. and using the clip of dean calling out for sam from hell on the hooks..... extra rude.

DEAN Well, it's possible I was wrong. SAM What, about James? Dude, we were both ready to gank the guy. DEAN No, that's not what I meant. Back there, when Spencer had us. He screwed with my head. I saw mom… When she died… And then some other crap. SAM Yeah. Me, too. DEAN You know, when I look back at what our family's been through, what everybody's been through, seeing all that pain… I realize that the only way we've made it through it all is by hanging together. I trust you, Sammy. With this deal, locking those sons of bitches up in the furnace once and for all, it's too important not to. So if you say you're good... then that's it. I'm with you 100%.

i'm all ♥️♥️♥️ and then immediately sam hides he's coughing up blood. okay.

that's the thing with this show, the bad plot writing whatever episodes will still have some mushy fucking brother conversations i wouldn't want to miss! like the reviled bugs episode, that had some high quality brother content

[crazedhatesoul]

@wanderinglcst @inxthexshadowxofxdeath

Matt: Matt looked at Hobbes across the way on the couch and frowned some at the hat on his head. "Do you ever wash that thing? I can smell it from here." He leaned over and knocked it off his head before turning back to the match they were watching today. Hawk was at work so instead of sitting around bored, he had radioed Hobbes to come over.

Hobbes: Hobbes was hyper focused on the television, edge of his seat as he watched the play only to be rudely interrupted. "Awh, what the fuck?" He snatched his cap before it could fall to the ground, "Nah, I rather it age like fine fuckin' wine -- of course I wash it!" He waved the hat in Matt's direction with one hand. "Look, I work in the goddamn woods, Matt. We had to burn a bunch of debris today and the smoke stuck to my clothes." The other arm stretched out to his side in a 'sue me' fashion. "It just so happens I was on my way home to shower before you radio'ed me." He put on a bad British accent, throwing the back of a hand over his forehead dramatically, "I'm so lonelyyy, come visit meee, Hawk's at workkk…"

Matt: "Still, you smell." Matt shrugged then rolled his eyes at the explanation. "Yeah, yeah. Excuses, excuses…" He couldn't hold it back any more and laughed at the impression. "Next time I won't fucking bother you arsehole." He was still laughing though and gave him a rough shove then picked up the nachos to eat and watch.

Hobbes: "Look, man your the one who interrupted me mid-route to my shower so unless you're offering yours…" He caught Matt's sleeve when shoved, "-- Oh, c'mon, baby don't be that way. This is tradition. You, me, the boys," he motioned to the tv, "There's somethin' sacred about this practice and you know it…" He paused. His own loneliness always snuck up on him. He turned his attention back to the tv. "…Honestly, rather be here than be home…"

Matt: He shook his head. "No, too late." Matt was still chuckling though as Hobbes had hold of his sleeve. "Fine fine, you've won me over." He slumped back into the couch. "I don't blame you. When I lived in the commune I felt super lonely despite being in a house full of people." Then he looked over again. "Why don't you use our shower? The towels are in the cupboard. I'm sure Hawk won't mind."

Hobbes: He considered Matt's words for a moment, hand moving to comb through his hair. "…My place used to be so much… brighter. There was always background noice. And crayola on the walls. And I was always stepping on fuckin' marbles and race cars." a slow exhale through his nose at the memory. "And now it's just silent. All the time. -- Sorry. Yeah. I think I will. Thanks." His mood had dropped exponentially, so he stood. Maybe a shower would help.

Matt: He looked at Hobbes as he spoke and didn't say anything until he was finished so leaned over and gave his knee a comforting squeeze. "Okay." Matt sat back again. "I'll be here watching this." He gestured with a smile.

Hobbes: The hand was a comfort, and Hobbes surprised himself by lifting his own to wisp over Matt's knuckles before standing. He didn't have the words to say thank you yet. He promised himself he would figure out a way to after his shower. Even if he clumsily stumbled through it.

Matt: The touch didn't go to miss and he tried his best to not react to it because he was super affectionate and loved nothing but being touched but it wasn't the right place nor time for it so he sat, eating the nachos for a little while, listening to the game then when he heard the key in the door, Matt dumped the food on the table and climbed over the back of the sofa. "Babe!"

Hawk: hawk was just getting home from what felt like a longer day then it should've been and he wanted nothing more than to just curl up next to matt and relax the rest of the night so when he heard the 'babe' after walking inside he smiled and closed the door behind him making sure to lock it. "hey baby," hawk walked up to matt and wrapped an arm around his waist not noticing anything else just yet, "how was yer day?"

Matt: He practically threw himself onto Hawk when he got closer and draped his arms around him, smothering his face with kisses. "Boring, Sugar sent me home early." Then he kissed his lips. "I just want a kiss from you and the world's all right again."

Hawk: he set his keys down on the table right before matt draped his arms over him and started laughing at the smothering, "alright alright i get it ya missed me," hawk teased but gladly kissed him back. "bummer she sent ya home early though." he finally looked over into the living room and spotted the nachos and drinks on the table then looked back at matt with a raised eyebrow, "did ya have company over?"

Hobbes: Hobbes had been rehearsing what to say, finding it increasingly difficult. He was so good at talking when he was saying nothing at all but when it came to the important moments he struggled. Towel wrapped around his waist he stared himself down in the mirror and told himself to get over it and that it wasn't that hard to let somebody know that you appreciated them. The only issue was that when you started appreciating people being around it hurt so much more when they weren't there anymore. But when he was with Matt he felt little need to be anything other than just Hobbes (be it goofy and hyperactive or exhausted and sad). Not many people had that privilege.

He hadn't heard Hawk come in over the shower head. "Hey, Matt? Listen…" He pushed wet curls off his forehead, "I just wanted to say thank you, for, you know…" His voice trailed at the sight of the two together. His sleepy gaze easily met Hawk's. "Oh, hey. Welcome home."

Matt: "I do actually it-" then Hobbes was speaking so he turned to face him with a smile when he started to thank him. "Yeah, Hobbes is here to watch a game, I hope it's okay that I let him use our shower." Matt stepped away from Hawk then grabbed a beer off the table, holding it out to him. Yeah, Matt did look for a second but it left as fast as it came. "Here you go, it's home brewed."

Hawk: hawks gaze met hobbes back after he'd realized it was him, trying not to stare or have a reaction at the fact he was just standing there in a towel but he did notice that matt had a look himself, then looked back at matt. "yeah that's fine i don' care," he said grabbing the beer. "and hey hobbes," hawk added taking a swig of the beer. "you two and sports, i don' get it sometimes."

Hobbes: Everyone seemed to take interest in Hobbes in his towel other than Hobbes who was currently more concerned that now he had to start his whole 'thanks you for being a friend' spiel over to Matt at a later date. "S'why you're never invited." Hobbes responded with a lazy smile. He leaned against the hallway wall arms crossed, "Since Matt takes such issue wit' my work gettup, it alright with either of you if I borrow something to…" He motioned to his torso, "Cover up?"

Matt: Matt pointed at Hobbes when he said that. "Exactly." Then he laughed some. "It's okay though babe, that's why Hobbes and I like hanging out so we can watch sports and be manly." When he said that, he flexed his arms then dropped them. "Yeah, course. I'll get you something of mine because his will swallow you." Then he vanished into the bedroom to fetch a t-shirt for Hobbes, bringing it back out shortly. "Here you go."

Hobbes: "I know what you just said to be true but I'm still upset about it." He snatched the shirt playfully, pulling it over his head, words muffled. "It anything. They'd be too long. That's all. You remember that."

Matt: He grinned. "Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but you, Hobbes? You're small." Chuckling, he pushed away from Hawk then sat himself back down on the sofa. "I'd rather they be too long than too big."

Hawk: hawk just watched the two of them go back and forth and thought to himself 'what the fuck is happening right now' before he shook himself out of his head. he kissed matt on the head after he'd sat down and laughed, "ya forgot to get him some pants dumbass." it was always said with love as he ruffled matts hair and disappeared into the bedroom, changing out of his work clothes and into his own sweatshirt and sweatpants, pulling out an extra pair of sweats for hobbes. hawk reappeared not shortly after and tossed the sweats at hobbes, "there, now ya can get out of the towel." not like he minded it anyway but he wasn't about to admit that now as he sat down and threw an arm around matts shoulders.

Hobbes: Hobbes leaned against the back of the couch where Matt sat, "I might be shorter than you two. But I'm definitely not small." he patted Matt's shoulder with one hand and caught the sweats with his other. He slipped them on and hung up his towel, returning to Hawk in his seat. He'd allow it. Tugging gently at one of the hoodie's laces he commented, "I never seen this before. You're always all dressed up when I see you." Or, before, all dressed down to nothing. Hobbes realized then he'd never really seen Hawk like this before. Sure they've hung out at the bar or on one of their porches but never had they sat on the couch together like Hobbes and Matt did. It was… nice. "Matt this is the softest fuckin' shirt I've ever worn." He looked down at it and found it comforting, fingers brushing over the bottom hem. "You might not get this back." Perhaps this was something like why his wife would always weasel away with Hobbes' henleys. 'I just like you close to me' she would say. He ignored the thought.

Matt: Matt glanced up at Hobbes when he leaned behind him and shook his head. "We'll have to see about that won't we." He teased then grinned when Hawk came back out, for some reason he didn't stop smiling every time Hawk entered the room and when he sat with him, Matt shuffled right up against him with the nachos, offering them for him to eat one by one. "It's my favourite hoodie. I keep telling him he should dress like this more in public but you know how he is." Matt sighed dramatically. "Why don't you keep it?" He offered after the statement about his shirt being soft. "I have others, it won't kill me to have one less shirt."

Hawk: hawk looked at the hand that tugged at the string for a moment and shrugged, using his free hand to pick at the nachos matt had offered him. "i don' know, jsut don' like dressin' this way in public. can' let people know i might actually have a soft side." he tried to joke but it came out sounding a bit too sincere. hobbes and matt were really the only two who ever got to see this side of hawk, occasionally his family depending on the situation but he felt comfortable being himself around these two. he rolled his eyes at the dramatics and gave matts shoulder a quick shove as he laughed. "it's not like he's wearin' his own clothes anyway, he practically steals everythin' i wear," hawk commented about matt.

Hobbes: He almost responded 'Hawk knows' before thinking better of it. Now was not the time. There were strict boundaries, rules to be followed. Otherwise, the easy order of what Hobbes had built with both of them would crumble. "You mean that?" Hobbes asked in response to Matt's offer, glancing at the man with raised brows. He looked back down at the shirt, "…Thanks, Matt…" It was a soft shit. And it smelt faintly of Matt too. There was something almost too comforting abut how they were set up now, too familiar. It reminded him of how he and his wife used to hole up on the couch with monsters and junk food. She'd rest her feet on him and yell at those stupid shows where they made a big to-do about who was or was NOT the father. He hadn't had that in so long…

When he reached for his beer it was almost sudden, finishing the one he had open before taking a swig of a second. "…I don't want to intrude or nothing if… you know… y'all want to spend time together. I get it. We can always finish the game another day Matt. Really I was just supposed to keep you company til' Hawk got home…"

Matt: He took Hawk's hand and made him hold the plate of nacho's now so he didn't need to keep holding onto it. "Having a soft side, as we've learned isn't a bad thing, babe." He rolled his eyes some. "I'm swearing his jumper right now." Matt flapped his arm then looked over at Hobbes. "I mean that, keep it." He confirmed with a smile.

"You're not intruding, you're our friend. Sit and stay." Matt patted the spot next to him on the couch. "I'm sure this one won't mind if we finished the game, will you babe? You don't even need to stick around if you don't want to. I know you're not a fan."

Hawk: hawk took the plate of nachos in his free hand since matt didn't want to hold them anymore and kind of made a face at matts comment, "yeah i know yer right just hard to get outta my shell i guess." hawk admitted. he rolled his eyes right back at him but for hawk it was about the fact he was wearing his hoodie but made no comment on it.

he frowned a little at how quickly hobbes seemed to want to leave since he'd gotten there. "when have ya ever intruded hobbes?" hawk added onto matts comment. "no i won' mind and it's fine, i wanna stay. i wanna learn more about the things ya like." was that directed towards the both of them? a little bit.

Hobbes: “Well we never really did this before…” Hobbes responded, “And you never…” he paused. Hawk never had a partner and he and Hobbes hadn’t really talked about it. Matt and Hobbes being friends complicated things slightly. It was easier for Hobbes to keep people in boxes. Since Hanna died he pushed most ‘friends’ away and kept the people he did interact with safely at arms length. Dedicated to them but never letting them worry about him. Duck was a good example.

Hawk had always been smoking, drinking, and the occasional fuck. It was almost methodical. Matt now acted as a soft, warm, binder between the two of them. Hobbes was loyal to a fault, and when Matt asked him to come over or sit and stay he had a hard time saying no.

He took a moment before sliding onto the couch, sandwiching Matt between him and Hawk. He ran a hand over the back of his neck.

“We’ll finish the game then, then I’ll get on down the road.”

Matt: Matt looked between them with a raised eyebrow but said nothing, none of his business, if they told him, they told him but honestly, Matt wasn't stupid but still said nothing.

When Hobbes sat next to him, he cheered and threw his arms around their shoulders and brought them closer to him. "Two very warm bodies." Matt gave them both a squeeze then kissed both on the heads and finally turned his attention back to the TV.

"Okay, we're watching some rugby because that's my favourite sport."

Hawk: what hobbes meant by ‘he never’ hawk would remain clueless about which was fine, maybe it was better that way anyway. it was easy to tell that matt was catching on that there might’ve been more to hawk and hobbes than what they’ve let on because they weren’t exactly being subtle about it but then matt threw in a curveball which made hawk raise his own eyebrow in response.

he looked behind matt’s head trying to see hobbes reaction to what just happened and noticed his ears were bright red, the same way they get with him sometimes. “what’s rugby?” hawk asked trying to fill the silence while hobbes seemed frozen in time which made him chuckle a little. since his arm was already around matt’s shoulder and he’d just pulled hobbes closer it was easier to do this, hawk flicked hobbes ear gently and smiled over at him, “earth to hobbes, ya good over there dude?”

Hobbes: No, Hawk. Hobbes wasn’t good. Because Matt just kissed him on the goddamn forehead.

He smacked Hawk’s hand. Shaking his head to toss his damp hair to cover his ears.

“Shut the fuck up. You know what rugby is.” He knew and Hawk knew he wasn’t telling Hawk to shut up over rugby. “S’like football but also not at all. — Sorry. S’like American football.” He added for Matt. As someone who’s played both it was easy enough for Hobbes to point out the differences. “Matter fact, it’s probably closer to soccer.” Again he added for Matt, “— or football. Happy?” He couldn’t help buy miss having Matt’s arm around him. It had been literal years since he had someone crawl onto the couch with him to cuddle. He tried to ignore how much he missed it. But now it was hard.

So he would force himself. He leaned back, resting his elbow on the arm of the couch. It was an attempt to keep himself on his own cushion. If his knee still brushed next to Matt’s it was merely a coincidence.

Matt: Was he a snob about the terms used? Yes so when Hobbes added both, he smirked a bit. He did let him go though and focused on getting closer to Hawk instead, leaning right up against him.

"It's a good explanation." Matt nodded with approval then kissed Hawk on the cheek, slipping his hand into his. "So this is just a recording of one of the six nations matches."

Hawk: hawk tried to process everything they were saying and just got increasingly more confused at hobbes changing from football to soccer to american football and all the which ways this man does not know sports terms let alone the difference in sports between countries.

when he noticed that matt had let him go and hobbes sunk to the arm rest he couldn’t help the slight frown, but smiled at matt, getting closer to him as well. hawks arm stayed around matt’s shoulder and the back of the couch as he watched and it was almost as if it was on instincts that hawks fingertips found hobbes shoulder letting them rest there gently. “so this is what you two do when i’m not around?”

Hobbes: Hobbes rested his chin in the palm of his hand. He exhaled through his nose at the fingertips resting on his shoulder.

His instinct was to excuse himself to smoke but he couldn't. So he chewed on his bottom lip instead, brow slightly furrowed as he tried to stay focused on the television.

"When you're not around we're usually screaming at the tv." He eyed Matt, teasing, "He's acting all sweet now but just wait til the referee does some dumb shit. Turns into a lil British monster."

Matt: "We also shag." Matt teased then laughed. "What the fuck are you on about mate? I am sweet as fuck." He reached over and pushed Hobbes for that. "Fun fact for the pair of ya, when I was in my 20's, me and some of me mates used to go to Liverpool in our Man U shirts, stand outside Liverpool's stadium and piss the fans off for fun. I got arrested for trespassing once, I only put my leg up over a barrier because Liverpool fans are pussys." He nodded once he finished his story then cleared his throat.

"Anyway… I like the footie ok? I like rugby too and shouting at the ref is a national past time at home." His accent had shifted back to normal now he was finished with his story.

Hawk:: "oh trust me i've seen when he's not sweet," hawk commented, rubbing at his chin to try and hide the smirk that was trying to form on his lips and focused in on the tv. then at the tease hawk chuckled a little unable to help himself, "without me? rude."

he really did try and understand what matt was saying but man was it hard, something about being arrested and whatever the fuck footie was so hawk just stared at matt confused, "i've not a clue what ya just said babe."

Hobbes: "He just confirmed what I said." Hobbes responded, adding a mumbled, "(I think…)" A half smile against his hand at the shove. He wasn't watching the game anymore, eyes staring at nothing for a moment. "No, we don't fuck, Hawk, don't worry. But he does beat me up. Can't speak on what kind of sick pleasure Matt gets out of that though." No wonder Matt and Hawk were together. They both were gluttons for punishment. He took a swig from his beer at such a realization, eyes finding anywhere else to look at and landing on the curtains. "…Shit." He pulled out his phone - it really just served as his watch now and a photo album. "It got late." He stood to peek through the curtains, "I should probably head out now if I want to get home." again he glanced at the time, "If I can get home…"

Matt: He glanced between them, expecting them to know what he was on about but when they didn't, he shook his head some. "You Americans." He nodded, confirming that he does indeed beat him up. "You don't have to leave, there's a spare bedroom and it's gonna be dark in a little while." Matt didn't want Hobbes to have to run home and still get caught out there. "I can make up the bed in no time."

Hawk: hawk ruffled matts hair about the americans comment and watched as hobbes got up to look out the curtains, god did he hate when people did that but that was his own personal issue. he wanted to pretend the night didn't even exist in this town and got well enough in ignoring the whispers that would try and lure him out, especially those of his brothers. hawk got up and off the couch, heading for the front door making sure he'd locked it before and now standing in front of it to block hobbes from leaving. "i'm not lettin' ya go home now, it's way too late, like matt and said and like ya already know i've got sparerooms." he was protective of the people he cared about, hawk was scared of loosing either of them in anyway and the thought of hobbes trying to run home and still possibly getting caught made him feel sick as he pointed back at the couch, "so sit yer ass back down." he might've sounded a little more stern than he was intended but if it got the point across then it did its job.

Hobbes: "If I left now I could get home…" Hobbes began in response to Matt when he turned to face Hawk who was now acting as some sort of barricade. For a moment he was at a loss for words. He should have left when Hawk got in. And yes, it was silly. Yes, Hobbes had stayed over Hawk's in the past but only in very specific capacities. Yes, he knew Matt and Hawk were together but Hobbes had never been witness to their domestic home life. And that was easier for him. Because it didn't remind him of what he lost.

Now the balance was completely thrown and it left Hobbes feeling anxious, and sad, and frustrated.

His eyes narrowed.

"…Since when the fuck do I take orders from you, Hawk?" He took a step forward into Hawk's space, "If I want to leave and go home, I'm going to leave and go home. I don't have an issue movin' your ass. How bout that?"

Matt: Matt watched carefully then winced some when it started to escalate but he hung back a little. "Babe… maybe you should just let him go then." He suggested calmly. "It's still light enough and those things will still be far enough that he'll make it." Matt then got off the couch when Hobbes stepped into Hawk's space.

"Guys, come on. We're all supposed to be friends here hanging out." He moved closer just in case one tried to punch the other or something, he was fully prepared to pull off whoever starts it. "Hawk, have another beer and let Hobbes go."

Hawk: "since yer tryna get yourself fuckin' killed hobbes," hawk took a step back now pressed against the door when hobbes stepped into his space not wanting to fight him. he glanced at matt at the suggestion and felt.. almost angry that he'd even suggest something like that so close to dusk. "have you seen how fast those things can run? no one has a chance i don' care how fast someone says they can run they're not human."

and then matt was suggesting to let him go again , "would you quit tellin' me to let him go?! no! the answers no! i'm not lettin' either of you step outside of this fuckin' house right now, not anymore. i can't. i won't." hawk was in full panic mode at this point but was trying not to show it so much. he knows hobbes strength despite his size, he knows if hobbes really wanted too he could easily move hawk from the door and maybe that's why he chose to be pressed up against it. "would you just fuckin' listen to me for once hobbes?" he was looking down at him, quite literally pleading with his eyes before whispering, "please."

Hobbes: Hobbes hands rose to run over his brow, frustrated for no reason. He knew Hawk was right but couldn't form the right words to explain what was bothering him.

Of course Hobbes didn't want to hurt Hawk. He would never.

"Alright." he responded quietly, "Alright."

He didn't know what to do with his hands, curling them into his palm tightly then releasing them then curling them again. Stuck in place, unsure what to do he chewed down on his bottom lip again til it bled.

"Sorry. I don't know what's fuckin' wrong with me…"

Usually when Hobbes had moments of panic like this he was alone. Trembling by himself in an empty house. And they were the most miserable awful feeling. Now Hawk and Matt were there and he wasn't sure if that was better or worse yet.

Matt: "There's no need to shout at me, Hawk! He's clearly feeling trapped right now, now move." Matt went over and took hold of Hawk's arm, gently guiding him away from the door then took his hand, giving it a squeeze before slowly pulling him into a hug, clearly something had been going on there to cause him to panic. "It's okay." He shhed him softly then glanced over at Hobbes.

"Like I said, I can make the spare room up for you in a bit." He sighed heavily. "You're just frightened, I can see that. It's a lot safer here but if you really want to leave then the door's there." Matt pointed to it. "If you don't, then go sit somewhere and calm down." He kept his voice soft and steady for both of them. "Everything's fine."

Hawk: hawk never shouted at matt before and the moment he pointed it out he felt instant guilt as he looked at his feet, letting matt move him away from the door and hugging him back tightly as if it was his way of apologizing for it. he wasn't used to being vulnerable around either of them and was only just getting used to it with matt so when he felt like tears were about to spill over he glanced at hobbes after matt pointed at the door. "please stay," hawk whispered, reaching out to grab his hand and pull him into the hug as well even if that's not what hobbes might have wanted, "i can't lose you. i can't lose either of you." he mumbled resting his chin on matts head.

Hobbes: Hobbes was going to leave. He needed to break and smoke and drink and be alone to figure out why this all was such an issue or (more realistically) ignore what happened entirely. It would be fine. He’d leave tonight and then the next time they could fix this. They could set things back to normal they could…

But Hawk had caught his hand and was even more upset than before. His eyes found Matt’s then.

This is why I shoulda left.

When he spoke again it was almost like he was in a trance. Like he had some form of deep silent revelation.

“I know where the spare room is.” He spoke directly to Matt. “You stay with him…” he pressed Hawk’s hand into Matt’s. Then made his way to the spare bedroom.

Matt: Matt took hold of Hawk's hand, watching Hobbes leave to go to the spare room and frowned some. After a couple of minutes, he pulled away from the hug for a second. "Leave him, he'll show his face when he's ready to again. Come on." Matt led him over to the couch and sat down, pulling Hawk down with him so he was lying against his chest. While he sat there with Hawk on him, he stroked his hair and decided to continue watching the game while he waited for Hawk to calm down.

Hawk: hawk just nodded as he watched hobbes disappear into the spare room, moving with matt to the couch and wrapping his arms through the cushions so they could be wrapped around matt. he closed his eyes and just focused on matts heartbeat to ground himself from everything until he opened them again to look at the tv. "i'm sorry," hawk mumbled against his chest, "i just.. i thought of him gettin' attacked by one of the monsters and i panicked."

Matt: He sat in silence for a little bit, stroking at Hawk's hair still, he seemed to be calming down judging by the fact that his breathing was no longer panicked. So he glanced down when he spoke. "I know, it's okay to be concerned but you went about it wrong and you know what? So did he." Matt shook his head a little. "You didn't have to yell at me, you know? I was just trying to stop you from practically throwing your body on Hobbes' to stop him from leaving but I get it, you panicked, it's okay now. Are you feeling any better?"

Hawk: ‘you went about it wrong’

that seems to be the only thing hawks good at doing is going about everything the wrong way no matter who it was, a stranger, family, someone he cared about, he doesn’t know the right way. “i know,” he whispered looking up at him finally, squeezing him tighter again when matt said he didn’t have to yell at him.

that same guilt from before hit wanting to retreat into himself and hide. “i’m so sorry i yelled at you, i’m really fuckin’ sorry.” now he hid his face into matt’s chest trying not to let his emotions overwhelm him, “not really but i’ll be fine.” at least it wasn’t his heart this time.

Matt: Matt sighed softly as his features softened up too, he couldn't stay like this with him for long, clearly there was something more going on here. "I forgive you." He told him softly then put his head back on the couch. "Can I ask you a question though?" Matt glanced at him again. "And I really need you to be honest with me because judging by your behavour then, there's something more going on?" He asked straight up, unable to hold the question back any longer.

Hawk: hawk was able to crack a small smile as matt forgave him but that was soon taken away when he wanted to ask him a question and felt his heart start racing all over again. he ran a hand through his hair and stood up from the couch, reaching out for matts hand. "not here," hawk had every intention on being honest with matt, he always was and always will be no matter what and what he was about to say he didn't want hobbes to potentially overhear. he waited for matt to get up and led him to the bedroom, shutting the door behind them and sat himself on the bed letting go of matts hand to let him choose if he wanted to sit or stand.

"hobbes and i, we hooked up in the past, it was usually when one or the other needed to just fuck to forget," at least for hawk it started off that way, "we haven't done anythin' since you and i got together i promise you that but." he had to pause and look down at his hands afraid to admit the next thing in fear it'll push matt away, "at some point i realized i liked him the same way i liked you, not love but i know i feel the same way i felt about him that i felt about you when we first got together."

Matt: Matt got up and followed Hawk into the bedroom, closing the door behind them then crossed his arms over his chest, listening to what he was telling him and letting him finish before speaking. "Okay, one, I figured out that you guys had fucked like five minutes into meeting Hobbes, so that isn't anything new just a confirmation if anything and two, what do you wanna do about it?" He asked now.

Hawk: he looked up at matt now, well that was one way to know that matt already knew and he was being honest that him and hobbes haven't done anything since then. "i-" hawk furrowed his eyes a little looking back down, "i don' know." he shrugged a little, "i wanna respect that you said you want it to be just us, i don' wanna push ya into anythin' cause then i'll just feel worse about it all."

Matt: He moved his hands onto his hips now then glanced up at the ceiling before heading over to Hawk and kissed his lips. "We'll see, ok? But fucking hell, you have to tell him at some point, the tension that comes off you around him is tense, relax." He put his hands on his shoulders. "Everything's ok, I'm not mad, I've forgiven you and heard you out."

Hawk: hawk wrapped his arms around matt as he kissed him and rested his head against his stomach for a second before moving his head back to look up at him, "no, i can' do that, not to hobbes. you saw how he got out there i don' wanna make him feel that way, not again." even though he really really wanted to tell him but he wasn't sure how it'd go and was afraid to find out. hawk nodded and took a deep breath in, using the hands on his shoulders and matts words to keep himself grounded. "can you go check on him? please? i'm sorry if that's askin' a lot i'm just… i'm worried." that and he needed a moment alone.

Matt: He rested a hand on top of his head and stroked his fingers through his hair, honestly? He didn't even know what to say about the entire thing and finding out the guy you love also likes someone else? Matt knew what he was but it didn't stop it from stinging any less. At it was now out in the open between them. "Ok, alright. Well, I'm leaving the choice to you because it's not my thing to tell him." He shrugged some. Matt leaned down to kiss him a little more deeply. "I love you." He kissed him once more then pulled away, nodding. "Of course I will." Matt had to get one more kiss in before leaving their room to go check on Hobbes.

Hawk: god when the fuck was the guilt going to stop? no matter what he said or the more hawk said he didn't feel any less guilty for admitting to the man he loves that yeah he has feelings for someone else. sure he'd told matt he was poly but he wasn't expecting this conversation to hurt as much as it was in this moment. who wouldn't feel hurt about hearing that kind of stuff? hawk was at least glad matt had agree'd not to tell hobbes because maybe eventually he'd tell him himself. "thank you," he whispered right before matt kissed him, kissing him back just as deep and sighing softly against his lips. "i love you too," hawk held onto the back of matts neck to have their foreheads touching just needing that contact in that moment and let go as he kissed him again.

he gave matt an appreciative smile since he'd said he'd check on him and waited for matt to leave, closing the door behind him and climbed back into bed. matt had never seen hawk when he hits one of his lows and if he had anything to say about it, it would stay that way while he climbed back into the bed and barried his face into the pillow, holding onto it as he just silently let the tears fall now that threatened to spill over earlier.

Matt: When the door closed, he just stood there silently for a couple of minutes then took a deep breath and headed down the hall to the other rooms, the first one he checked there was no Hobbes in that one so moved to the next door and knocked on. "Hobbes? Can I come in?"

Hobbes: He’d been siting on the edge of the bed, head in his hands for he didn’t know how long. His hair had dried by the time Matt called to him, voice muffled by the door.

His head shot up.

“Yeah.. Course…” he exhaled.

Was it better that Matt came to check up on him rather than Hawk? Like most everything about tonight it was a complicated prospect.

He waited for the door to close behind Matt before running a hand over his mouth.

“…I’m sorry. About. Whatever the fuck happened out there.” He forced his gaze from the wall to look at Matt, “Remember when you asked me about Hawk? When we first met? Yes. We were fuckin’ but it was just sex. It was supposed to be just sex. And us? Hangin’ out was just supposed to be hangin’ out and now I’m in your shirt and that’s the only fuckin’ thing keeping me grounded right now. That’s fucked.” He stood, pacing, his voice hushed, “And now… now I’m… I’m fuckin’ worried that…” he shook his head, willing himself to stop, “…Forget it. Bottom line is I’m a fuckin’ asshole. And Hawk loves you. I’m sure I’m just getting all worked up for no reason. So I’m sorry.” He pushed curls off his forehead, “You’re a really good friend that’s what I was trying to thank you for earlier and I’m the asshole.”

“You’re always so good and sweet to me and I’m freaking the fuck out over nothing.”

Matt: He waited for confirmation before going in (what do u mean? He's still polite) and closed the door behind him, leaning against it.

Matt shrugged some. "It happened, you wanted to leave and Hawk tried to stop you… in a way he shouldn't have but we spoke." He put his hands in his pockets, not moving from where he was leaning while Hobbes spoke. "Worried about what? You can tell me, it's only me." He gestured to himself. He shook his head when Hobbes called himself an asshole. "You're not an arsehole, clearly something happened but you're still not an arsehole."

He moved closer now and put his hands on his shoulders and gave them a squeeze, hoping it would help him calm down more. "Well, I can't help being good and sweet. You've seen outside and the shit we've got to live in, why add to the collection of arseholes who will have no trouble throwing others out there if it meant saving their own skins."

Hobbes: “Worried that the lines had blurred.” He answered honestly. When hands found Hobbes’ shoulders one of Hobbes’ own rose to rest atop Matt’s. It happened without him even thinking about it, continuing with a shake of his head, “But how fuckin’ full of myself can I be, huh?” He looked back up at Matt then, small smile pulling at his lips.

“You’re a good man, Matt.”

There was a parallel there.. between ‘throwing people out’ because it was easier and how Hobbes pushed people away in attempt to protect both parties from what he felt was inevitable pain, because that was easier than loss. But Hobbes was too many beers in and too tired to think about that right now.

“He’s a lucky guy.”

Matt: He sighed a little, maybe the lines were a little blurred now after what Hawk had told him, his feelings for Hobbes. Matt turned his hand around and gave Hobbes' a squeeze before taking it away and sitting himself on the bed. "You and Hawk need to talk this through." Matt glanced at him. "But leave it till the morning when you're both, hopefully feeling better emotionally."

"He's an extremely lucky guy." Then he dropped a hand on his thigh and gave it a squeeze. "You good? Do you need a hug too?" He offered.

Hobbes: Matt’s answer didn’t help ease Hobbes’ concerns. His brow furrowed.

���…Why’d you sigh like that?”

He followed Matt to the bed, sitting next to him.

“Extremely? Now that might be an overstatement.” He tried for a joke, responding to Matt’s question by wrapping his arms around him. Hobbes couldn’t remember the last time he went out of his way to hug someone. Not a half hug, a true hug. It very well might not have been since before Hanna passed.

“Don’t change, man.” He murmured into Matt’s shoulder. His eyes closed for a moment, savoring the moment. “No one calls me this. And it feels like a shitty time to tell you. But if we’re bein’ honest tonight I might as well…” he pulled away, “My name’s Ruben. Hobbes is my last. Just… realized I never told you that. And feel like you should know.”

Matt: He shook his head in response because what Hawk told him wasn't stinging any less right now, he knew he needed to come to terms with it and he will sooner or later.

"Oh please, we both know I'm out of his league." He joked back with a chuckle. "Oh." Matt hadn't expected Hobbes to just launch himself into the offered hug but wrapped his arms around him anyway, giving him a proper hug.

"I tried to be a football hooligan once, it didn't work out so it's safe to say I won't be changing any time soon." He shook his head a little then raised a brow slightly after he told him that and dropped his arms. "Hm, you don't look like a Ruben. You look more like a Mike or a Tyler." He was kidding of course and sighed all dramatically. "I guess I can accept this information."

Hobbes: Matt still wasn’t telling him something, Hobbes knew that.

His hand involuntary moved to his back pocket for a pack of cigarettes that wasn’t there anymore. Instead he found a mint, popping it in his mouth and almost choking when he laughed.

“Mike?” for the first time a full smile appeared on his face, hand moving to push hair off his forehead, amused, “I know I’m I dumb athlete but sheesh.” Next Matt’ll say he looks like a Toby or worse a Cody.

Arms now free he leaned back on his elbows on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“Anyway the only people who called me Ruben were my folks. And they’re dead… And Hanna called me Roo.” And Matt knew she was passed, “Feel like I’m not really a Roo anymore either…” like a part of him had died with her and that was a depressing thought.

“…Hawk ok? I should probably go apologize to him too, huh?”

Matt: As much as Matt wanted to tell him, it was Hawks business and he needed to tell him himself so all Matt could do was suck it up and push those feelings down.

"Mike." He repeated with a smile and didn't even help when he nearly choked on the mint. "I think it's the blonde more like." He chuckled some.

"It's okay if you don't feel like Roo any more, things changed for you. I think Hobbes is very fitting." Matt looked down at him.

"Hawk's not okay but give him some space till the morning okay? I'll cook some breakfast to lure him out of bed."

Hobbes: “Oh, so I’m a dumb blonde now.” He teased. His voice trailed however as Matt continued, “… It’s less I don’t feel like Roo anymore.” He searched the ceiling for answers, “More like he’s been lost for a long time and I don’t know how to get him back… If I can…” sleepy gaze returned to Matt’s, “That make sense?”

He examined Matt’s face for a moment.

Don’t push.

But at this point Hobbes wasn’t sure his his original strategy of not pushing too hard or asking too many questions was the real problem.

“Why don’t you wake me up? I’ll help you.” He held Matt’s gaze, “I mean it. I’m not good in the kitchen but, wake me up, ok?” He waited for confirmation, sat in silence for a moment.

He shifted to his side.

“What about you? You ok?”

Matt: He listened and nodded some. "Maybe he'll come back to you at some point." Then Matt got off the bed. "Fingers crossed." Then he headed to the door.

"We'll see." Matt gave him a smile. "Maybe the smell will lure you out too." Now he raised an eyebrow at the question. "I'm always okay." Matt opened the door. "Get some rest."

Hobbes: His brow furrowed.

“…You’re allowed to not be, Matt. Hold on.” He stood now but stayed put by the bed. He thought better of going after him. The last thing he wanted was to crowd Matt. “……Alright. You too.”

Matt: Matt didn't actually go bed that night, just stayed up, cleaned everything up and watched more matches until the sun came up. That's when he left the house.

Hobbes: Hobbes didn’t sleep much either. He was a light sleeper anyway, and was often up early for work. He waited for the knock from Matt that never came before venturing into the quiet house.

He poked his head into Hawks room where only one body laid sleeping. Then fo the kitchen. Then to the living room. Then out to the front porch.

“Shit… Fuck.”

He pulled on his hat then work jacket over the borrowed clothes, pulling on heavy duty boots when he went back to Hawk’s room. He wondered if he had time to search for Matt before waking Hawk but knew that Hawk getting up to an empty house would be equally as stressful.

“Yo, Hawk. Wake up. Hey.” He shook Hawk’s shoulder, “Does Matt go on morning walks?”

Hawk: some point during hawks silent cry while matt was talking to hobbes it turned into exhaustion until he eventually passed out for the night. it was a weird sleep almost as if even unconscious he knew something was missing.

maybe that’s why it was pretty easy for hobbes to wake him up by just shaking his shoulder which usually wouldn’t. hawk jerked awake, staring in front of him silently as if the words that were said were foreign to him until they finally processed. “what?” he looked up to see hobbes then looked next to him to the empty bed, jumping out of bed now. “no he doesn’t.”

hawk wasn’t trying to seem like he was ignoring hobbes when he went past him and into the kitchen where the was of course no matt to be found and the panic he felt last night came back in that moment. “where the fuck is he, where did he go, hobbes i fucked up man this is all my fault i fucked up. where is he?!”

Hobbes: He followed after Hawk, grabbing a pair of the man’s shoes ans holding them out.

“I already checked the house. I don’t know, Hawk! That’s why I woke you. — You want to take the commune, I’ll take the garage?” He asked, already in go-mode.

Hawk: he grabbed the shoes from hobbes and put them on quickly, shaking his head, “no, you should take the commune. i cant promise i won’ fight some fucker while i’m there cause i know one of thems gonna say somethin’ smart.”

Hobbes: “Copy. I’ll take the commune. — Hold on…” He pulled out his talkie as he bounded down the front porch stairs, “Ay-O. Miss Sugar. This is Ruben Hobbes. Radio check. Over.”

The mechanics’ voice was static but clear enough over.

“Go ahead!”

“Matt come into work today?”

“Negative.” A pause, “Why?”

“If you see him can you let him know we’re lookin’ for him Miss Sugar?” He responded without going into detail.

“…Roger.”

“Thank you. Out. — Not at the garage.” He called to Hawk, “I’d start wherever else he likes to go in town. You got a radio on you?”

Hawk: no point in changing obviously there was more important things to worry about so his sweats and hoodie are there to stay, listening to the conversation while he thought of where matt might be.

hawk held up his radio in response, “always,” it came out as a mumble.

“i’ll check the diner and video store first, let you know if i find him there. let me know if you find him at the commune yeah?”

Hobbes: He merely nodded, one hand firm against Hawk’s bicep. It was his way of saying, We’ll find him before bounding off towards the commune.

Hawk: hawk didn’t react to the hand on his bicep, not right now, not with the way he felt about this all being his fault

’i shoulda just let him leave then nona this would’ve happened.’

he shook that thought away real fast, following hobbes out the door and off in the direction of the diner first.

Matt: Matt rounded a corner with two bags full of produce, chowing down on the strawberries. He paused when he saw them about to split off to find him so raised an eyebrow. "Hey guys, what you doing?" Matt offered them the strawberries. "I got up early to get the best produce of the day." He held up the bags that were draped over his arms. "We didn't have any eggs for the breakfast I wanna make but hey, now I do." Then he looked between them. "What?"

Hobbes: Hobbes literally made a little dent in the top soil when he skidded to a stop. He took his sunglasses off to run his hands over his face.

“Fuuuuck me.”

A hand shot out to rest against a nearby tree, the other found his knee. He felt like he was going to throw up. Like he’d just run a god damn mile and needed to catch his breath.

Hawk: all hawk could do was blink when he saw matt just casually walk up to them right before they parted.

he grabbed matt’s face with both his hands, pulling him into a kiss and then pulled away, smacking him upside the head in the process.

“what the fuck is wrong with you?! you couldn’t have left a note?”

Matt: "Hey babe." Matt smiled and kissed him back before flinching at the smack. "Hey!" He couldn't even rub his head then looked between them. "Were you worried about me? Sorry, it's Saturday, I usually go the market at this time and get some fresh produce. You're usually sleeping like a log, Hawk that you don't even notice when I'm getting dressed and leaving. Hobbes is our first overnight visitor. Sorry guys, I didn't even think about leaving a note."

Hobbes: Hobbes exhaled slowly through his nose. “Yeah, Matt. We were…” he moved back towards the house to grab his backpack, hefting it over his shoulder.

“Thank you for the clothes. I’ll wash em and bring em back next time. Think I’ve overstayed my welcome.” This was the feeling he’d been trying to avoid, that ache in his chest. “I know we,” he motioned to Hawk, “Gotta talk at some point. But it don’t got to be over eggs. You two enjoy your breakfast.” It was almost like… a switch went of in his head. He was speaking to them like civilians, like he was Deputy Game Warden Ruben Hobbes and not… just Hobbes. Silly, tired Hobbes. No… he was just tired.

“You know where to find me, man.” He said, only briefly meeting Hawks gaze before finding Matt’s, “I’m glad you’re ok, Matt. I’ll see y’all… Whenever you want me.”

Hawk: as much as hawk wanted to stop hobbes, the last time that happened it did not go over well so he’d leave the trying to convince him to stay up to matt and just nodded. truthfully he didn’t want to talk to hobbes about it but knew either him or matt were gonna get sick of him not saying something anyway but that felt like a future problem. “i guess we’ll see ya around then hobbes.”

he grabbed the groceries from matt, leaning over to whisper, “talk to him,” then kissed his cheek, going inside with the bags now.

Matt: Matt watched as Hobbes gathered his things and proclaimed that he was going home, that's fair enough. Then he was left alone with him, why did he have to convince him to stay? Matt watched Hawk go back into the house then looked at Hobbes. "I'm making eggs benedict." He shrugged his shoulders some. "I'm a banging cook but it's your choice, I'm not gonna stop you from leaving."

Hobbes: He shook his head, having overheard Hawk’s request but not stopping to turn til Matt spoke.

“Matt, enjoy your morning with your boyfriend.” And with that he threw his sunglasses back on, offered a gentle, “I’ll see you.” Before heading out “Oh and thanks for everything.”

[peachtalia]

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

I’m Peach, I’m 23 and I go by they/them, my main is Peach+Fruit+Cake (remove the +’s, I just don’t want it found through keyword searching lol I don’t wanna get judged). I’m an artist and I have a deep interest in occult topics, different cultures and linguistics! Please take note that due to irl health/neurological issues, I may mix things up often so do keep this in mind

More info below the cut

This is my blog for my Hetalia hyperfixation that keeps periodically returning even after a whole decade, I tend to treat the characters more as ocs though. I'm open to making friends who share the same interests as long as you’re being mindful, so feel free to dm me even if I ever take a while!

I don't post nsfw. If whatever I mention does involve nsfw in it such as fics, movies ets I'll mention it as a heads up.

If there’s any issues to discuss or you have any questions or things to clarify with me/correct me on even, feel free to message! I’m always open to talk and I’m not one to snap or be rude unless spoken to rudely first. As long as you come in good faith, we’re cool :•3

While I love hetalia’s characters and the series does entertain me, please note that I’m still very critical of the source material and acknowledge a load of its fuckups loll. This series brings me a load of comfort and nostalgia otherwise. I also have the personal preference of often referring to the characters by their human names most of the time and I like depicting them as people with strong backgrounds in their culture’s traditions, kind of like a human au. I guess u could say a lot of this blog is for my own personal thoughts, ideas, indulgences etc.

example: I like to see Herakles having had a mother who was very involved in curating artifacts and artwork, teaching Greek history and tradition and took a huge part in cultivating Greek ruins. Maybe even some restoration work. And helped in arranging heritage festivals and exhibits. Perhaps she was a university professor

For a lot of the languages and cultures that I post about, please keep in mind that I’m still learning more and more about them and are by no means an expert on any of these topics! This page in a way is moreso for me to document the journey of learning about these things I love so much. I try my best to verify things, but of course I am still prone to mistakes here and there especially with how forgetful and spacey I can sometimes be, so please kindly let me know if I goof anything up!

Oh also you’re not welcome here if you contribute to racism in any way around here. No I don’t give a fuck if you don’t personally consider yourself a racist or “don’t see how xyz is racist/don’t see racism around here” when poc speak up about it. Especially if you’re a white person saying that, take a long hard look at yourself and what it is you’re thinking and saying and either stfu and improve as a person or go jump off a highway bridge thanks. Idgaf if it’s ironic that I’m saying this when talking about hetalia trust me I am Full aware but that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna still rightfully shoot at others over it

My fav characters are Yao, Feli, Kiku and Heracles!

Oh also heads up, when it comes to characters I’m more emotionally attached to, I can be super picky and rigid when it comes to ships and I’m not the multishipper type. It’s not like I’m rabid about ships or whatever, it’s just something more personal for me. A form of deeper personal expression ig you could call it as corny asf as that sounds. I only hold these preferences toward the ones I’m emotionally attached to, other than that idgaf. I keep the preference to myself. Be sure to avoid mentally grouping me with negative fans of any of the things I like thanks 👍🏻

Besides that here’s ships that I like lol I’ve been obsessed with these as a child and still really like to this day!

- Kiku Honda x Herakles Karpouzi

(Heracles Karpusi is the popular spelling around here ik but I like to keep it accurate to the actual Greek romanization.) This one is my main fav atm! I’m not personally comfy seeing either of them with other characters romantically due to my strong preference so I hope you can respect that ( ¨̮ ) and yeah lol I went insanely hard for them back in the day

- Yao Wang x Ivan Braginsky

I love this one a lot and always have and sometimes re enter a period of obsessing over it lololol

- Feliciano Vargas x Ludwig Beilschmidt

Basic lol ik they’re cute, it was my first love like with every other guy here haha I don’t focus on them as much as I did as a kid though

[roxtron]

So uh, I finished Into the Pit. It had issues. a lot, in my opinion. I really wanna get my thoughts out because it wasn't a very good experience for me and I'm kind of frustrated about it, but I don't want to upset people who may not want to hear it, so, I'll keep it below the cut.

Okay, I'm gonna try to structure this as best I can..

So obviously since I wanna go over my experience playing the game it's gonna include spoilers, but considering most people watched someone else play it it shouldn't matter too much. (Unless you're one of the people who got softlocked/hardlocked trying to play it themselves and have to wait for a patch to be able to finish the game.. I'm honestly really annoyed on your behalf because that should NOT have happened with an official game release.) I think that statement alone says quite a bit about the game considering- as far as I'm aware- as buggy as SB was at launch, you could at least beat the game.

Agh, initial complaints aside.. I dunno. I'll start with the more subjective stuff I guess? Maybe it's just me but the art style is a bit.. off for most of the human characters? I know this is super nitpicky but I'd rather start with the tiny things I can let go and build up to the things that really bother me. It's just so weird because the animatronics and setting/environments look amazing, but the human characters just don't really work for me. I'm sorry, I know that sounds rude, but, eh.. if I'm piling all my complaints anyway, why not bring it up? Okay, okay, I'll get into more structure now.

The Gameplay / Hiding.

Hiding. Okay, here's the thing. The gameplay is just.. it's not very good in my opinion. You spend a lot of the game just sitting in stupid hiding spots waiting for the animatronic to walk away so you can get to a specific room. It's boring. Half the time if I have to sit and wait like that I'll literally just leave the game on while I leave the room to take a break or go to the bathroom or something. It's just. so. much. sitting. and waiting. ughhhh... it gets so boring and tiring. Like- to compare it to Security Breach. Yes, you spent a lot of Security Breach in hiding spots too sometimes- But there's the thing. It was a risk vs reward situation. You could sit in hiding spots and stealth your way through it, or you could run through all the obstacles and hope you make it to safety in time. You had a choice. You didn't have to just sit and wait, and if you did, that's your own choice for not wanting to play too risky.

But in Into The Pit? Nope. Even if you WANTED to risk running, guess what! there's a random chance you'll just fucking trip. for no reason. it's literally just random. you have no control over it, it just happens sometimes when you run, and even if you did, the animatronics run so closely to you it doesn't seem very possible to outrun them, because half the time you get close, well they see you get into that hiding spot and catch you immediately. And when they don't see you? You have to do a button mashing minigame for the hiding spots.

I get the idea. Hiding is boring, so they wanted to make it interactive and give some sort of tension to it. But this? It's just button mashing. You hit the buttons shown on screen. Easy once you get the hang of it. It's BARELY interactive. I would've rather just gotten the cool pixel-art cutscene and been able to pay attention to what was going on rather than focus on button prompts.. At least then it would've felt like actual tension whether you were going to get caught or not. It just feels pointless and annoying, which kinda sucks, because the art for it is pretty neat, but you can barely pay any attention to it anyways.

That's one of the core issues with the game in my opinion. It makes it feel like the type of game you'd rather watch a youtuber play than actually play yourself because so much of it is just that- Sitting in hiding spots and waiting. Sit and wait, sit and wait.. at least a youtuber would edit down all the waiting so you don't have to sit through it.. The game looks cool but it isn't very fun to play, at least for me. It looks great for the most part, but it the gameplay experience is just.. boring. I didn't have much fun with it at all honestly... I'll get into this more later, but, yeah..

The Gameplay / Puzzles and Direction.

Not really sure how else to title that, but when I get into it you'll understand what I'm referring to.

Sometimes they can be pretty simple and straightforward, the game tells you what to do or where to go, but not often.. The beginning Night 1 is a little annoying because you have to grab the phone AND the phone number off the fridge if I remember correctly. Meaning there's a chance you didn't pick up on that, and now, instead of grabbing the phone number while you can safely roam around the house- you were unaware you even needed it and have to backtrack to grab it. And better hope you don't die, because if you do, you restart from the beginning of Night 1! That's right! all your progress is meaningless! If you collect items and die, too bad, you lose ALL of them. So you better not forget any on your next attempt, or else..

The sad thing is that's a minor complaint by comparison, at least if you miss the phone number it's not too far back to go and find it, and the game will tell you after you fail to get it. Sure, you have to go back and face more unnecessary danger, but at least the game tells you what you need to do.. Though that can be a little annoying if you don't know where to find it, it's a small house, you'll get it eventually. But other puzzles? Oh. my god.

Pretty much after I got to Day/Night 3 I had to start googling everything. I just completely had no idea what I was supposed to do or how I was supposed to do it.

I may not be remembering dates correctly but, I think I am? Once I got to the point of the game where the arcade was locked, everything went to shit. The door's locked? Okay fine, the OBJECTIVE IN THE CORNER says "FIND A WAY IN" so I assume I'm supposed to find an alternate route, right? Find a vent, use a different door, anything.. I check every possible fucking entrance, risking my life, sitting and waiting through all this boring hide-and-seek bullshit, only to have every possible entrance on my map marked blocked. If I can't get in through the vents or the other doors, how the fuck am I supposed to get in there? I tried. I tried to figure it out. I tried looking through the menus again, and only there, in the SUB-MENU of the objective, it said "find a key."

WHY THE FUCK ISN'T THE OBJECTIVE IN THE CORNER OF THE SCREEN "FIND THE KEY TO THE ARCADE" HUH??? WHY. I'm sorry. I'm getting a little too annoyed, but this section was so. fucking. frustrating to get through. I could not figure it out for at least an hour. That's such a simple fix I'm just baffled why the fuck they didn't do it. Because here I am, following the previously set rules of the game, if you can't get in through a door, use a vent, and none of my other routes worked. Why?? Why isn't the objective "find the arcade keys" or some shit. Why did they have to phrase it in such a vague way that makes the objective so confusing?

But it gets worse! Going once again by the previous rules of the game... I need a key? Fine, last time that happened I went back to the present and asked Jeff for it. Shouldn't be too hard. Well. I talked to Jeff. Nothing happened. I looked around the entire building in the present. Couldn't find it. I looked everywhere. I tried walking around the other buildings in town, looking through the trash, everything! It was annoying, it was exhausting, and for what? If I got the key from the present last time, then what is there this time letting me know I should be looking in the past for it? How am I supposed to know that when LAST TIME I had this problem I went to the PRESENT. It's just breaking ALL pre-established rules of how to face certain problems, in a way that just annoys and confuses you, because if the previous solution isn't going to work this time, then what is?!

So, fine. Look for the key in the past, somehow.. I once again, checked every vent, every corner of every room I could find without getting caught, because I assumed a KEY would be in some sort of backroom, or some sort of employees area.. not one of the main guest rooms. I had to google it. Y'know what the fucking answer was? Look in ONE SPECIFIC SPOT in the party room, a room CRAWLING with animatronics, TRY NOT TO GET CAUGHT, and..

Use the sticky hand to grab the key from a dark corner of the room you CAN'T SEE. YOU CANNOT SEE THE KEY. HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO GUESS THAT?! Not only how am I supposed to guess the key is EVEN THERE but how am I supposed to guess you use the STICKY HAND??? especially since it was APPARENTLY in a vent you can't access from the ground, vents that usually you use.. the SCREWDRIVER ON... You see what I mean? Every rule. Every possible solution this game sets up. Nope. That's suddenly wrong. I hate it. It's awful. That's such a stupid solution I genuinely don't know how many HOURS it would've taken me because after maybe 30 minutes to an hour of looking I just gave up and googled it, because HOW ELSE am I supposed to figure that out on my own!?

Luckily that's the worst of it I think but that doesn't mean it gets better or stops happening.. because immediately after that, what does the game tell me to do? "Distract Bonnie." Okay, last time I did that I went to the present to get pizza for Chica. Go to the present, fine.

"How am I supposed to distract him?" Well I already read the sketchbook.. something to do with the guitar, fine. So once again, I checked every room in the pizzeria, and every room in every other area in the present I could access.. nothing. So I googled it again. Turns out I WAS right in checking the garbage in the mill, it was the strings tossed out there. Fine. Turns out.. I CAN'T COLLECT THEM. I CAN SEE THEM. RIGHT THERE. AND I CAN'T GRAB THEM. Y'know what I have to do? Go back to the past, interact with bonnie's guitar in the backroom, and THEN go back to the mill to get them..

Are you serious? At that point why even use the sketchbook as a hint if I have to interact with the dumb item first. The rest of this game seems to let you make your own choices pretty well on when to grab items (Like the previous example with the phone, I could grab the phone number first if I knew I needed it/where to find it, but I didn't HAVE to wait until I grabbed the phone to grab the phone number, that's taken as a punishment for not knowing to grab it first. SO you'd think, if the game sets up that you can grab items you need later earlier, that I'd be able to grab the damn strings without the game forcing me to interact with the object first. I already KNOW the strings are missing. I already KNOW where to find them. Are you kidding me? I know this is minor, but, it got on my nerves quite a bit..

I know I ran into that issue again during the final night of the game, when I was supposed to get the party room keycard.. I honestly didn't wanna deal with the bullshit of wandering aimlessly around the building looking for items I assume would be in a backroom ending up in plain sight (not really, because I COULDN'T SEE IT but you get the point) That's how much this game wore me down. I didn't want to engage with its gameplay like that anymore. I just wanted to get the item and be done. I was tired, I was exhausted, especially after the experience I had on Night 3, I did not want to deal with that again. Especially because of..

The checkpoints. Or, lack of.

Oh my god. They're so bad. I mentioned it briefly earlier, but the checkpoint system honestly sucks. I hate that there's no manual save button and you just have to trust the autosave whenever you quit the game, because half the time the autosave won't save your items or anything, it just saves the game after a certain amount of time regardless of where you are.

Unfortunately, one of the times I died my last autosave was looking through the garbage at the old mill. Y'know what that means? Anytime I died after going into the past, I would be reset there. Again. So if I made my way deeper into the pizzeria, and I died? I wouldn't just be set back to the pit, I'd be set back TO A DIFFERENT BUILDING ENTIRELY. It was very annoying.

Dying in this game is just so punishing, you get set back so far.. At least SB had manual saves, so every time you got set back, you usually knew how far you'd go. (Except for the autosaves like the lost and found thing.) Point is, at least you KNEW. The autosaves are so unreliable in this game I'm basically risking if I'm going to get set back one room or two, or if I'm going to get set back to THE BEGINNING OF THE ENTIRE NIGHT.

Worse yet, this checkpoint system completely fucked me up on the endings. Because of the way the checkpoints decided to work, and the fact there's no chapter-select post-game.. I couldn't get the last ending. I could only get some of them. I literally couldn't get the last ending of the game because getting that ending requires taking more actions in the present, but my autosave set me to when you get back in the pit, back in the past.. and if you try to interact with the pit.. You're not allowed to go back. It won't let you. You're literally stuck in the past. If you wanted to do anything in the present, too bad! Guess you're softlocked from that ending! If you wanna experience the game fully, guess what, just PLAY THE ENTIRE GAME ALL OVER AGAIN. Hell no. After what I just went through, I did NOT want to do that AGAIN just for ONE ending. It's fucking wild they don't have a chapter select system. Nearly every game that runs on linear story/chapters like this HAS a chapter select system, at the very least you usually unlock one once you beat the game, specifically so that you CAN go back and re-experience parts of the game without MAKING A NEW SAVE FILE.

Initially I thought I'd do what I typically do with other games, just make a new file for every important moment, then I don't have to go too far back if I make a mistake or want to replay old areas. But you can't. There's one file for every playthrough. So if you don't get those requirements before you reach the point of no return in the final entrance to the pit- too bad! too fucking bad, there's nothing you can do but REPLAY THE ENTIRE GAME FROM THE BEGINNING. As far as I'm aware, you have to be in the present to mess with some of this shit. And from what I've searched about the endings, since, y'know, I couldn't seem to get it for myself, I'm not the only person with this issue, plenty of other people have said they've even gotten the requirements and still can't get the ending, which is very annoying considering the final night ends up being watching the same cutscenes over and over trying to get any endings... Speaking of,

The Endings.

I know this may seem like an odd thing to nitpick, usually multiple endings is always a good thing, but.. I don't really think it added much to the game if I'm being honest?

Like, okay, I wanna say one thing about the ending first. In the book, from what I know, you end up finding the bodies of the 5 missing kids propped up in the back room, but in the game.. that never happens. I assume it's because you save a couple of the kids, but honestly, is it weird for me to say that's a letdown? Like. Okay. Obviously saving the kids is good, yes, of course, BUT, considering the context of the game being based off the book, I was kind of interested to see how that would be portrayed in the game, y'know? I mean, if they're not afraid to show a rotting possum corpse in the beginning of the game, I didn't think they'd censor it..

But, otherwise, the ending's kind of just the same. The rabbit gets trapped in the ball pit and dies. Alright. It seems like one of those variations of that ending is canon, so.. What's the point of the other 3? The one where you leave is so incredibly pointless. In SB when Gregory left, there was a point, there were things to learn from it. Seeing he doesn't have a home to run back to, seeing the newspaper of the missing/disappearances, and seeing Vanny would've just caught him anyway. It directly tells us what would've happened if he chose that ending and why it mattered that he didn't. But Into the Pit doesn't really do that? It feels like they added an ending for the sake of adding more endings. He just.. leaves. That's it. We don't get to see where he goes or what happens without him/to him.. nope. He's just gone. That's it. Simple. What's gained from this exactly? How does this enhance the experience beyond fucking up my checkpoint again when I accidentally go through that door mid-game out of curiosity... yes I am a bit salty about having my progress reset from that.

And the other endings don't add much either tbh.. Like, okay, the other two, one of them just shows you getting kidnapped by Spring Bonnie, which.. okay?? he gets kidnapped, I can only assume he gets stuffed into a suit from there. So. then what. Again, what did we gain from this? And the other, where you fail during the final confrontation. (At least this one is optional through failing, and not through not-knowing-certain-items-needed-to-be-collected-to-get-a-decent-ending..) is a lot longer, showing you walking through the pizzeria with the other animatronics, and it's assumed you get stuffed into Foxy. Which. Again. We already knew that's what he did to his victims. So, again, what do we gain from this?? What was the point of any of it? At least this one looks cool and lasts longer, I guess.. But they feel so pointless.

It doesn't help that the only difference between the other two endings is really just the dialogue and post-game cutscene, one showing Jeff dying and saying they'll move, the other not mentioning moving and showing the pizzeria looking better with Jeff. It's nice to see two versions of this ending that I feel actually do add something, but at the same time, it means you have to go through those same cutscenes over and over trying to get them.. augh. it's a bit tiring.

Trying to come up with a conclusion here.

I know this may be an odd conclusion to draw from this but, it honestly feels like the type of game that's better to watch a youtuber play, which is definitely not a compliment. Because at least if you're watching someone else play it, either they'll edit it down, or you can SKIP through the boring sit-and-wait hide-and-seek bullshit to get to the interesting cutscenes and the cool pixel-art animations. That's my thing with this game- There's things to look at that look cool, but to play it? It's not very fun, at least for me it really wasn't.. I feel like once again it was either barely playtested or not playtested enough. Especially when it comes to the softlocks, god I can't end this off without mentioning those..

Post-Conclusion Bullshit: The Softlocks.

While I was lucky enough to not experience any myself, (Unless you count me not being able to get an ending without restarting the entire game, as far as I'm aware that's what I'm stuck with..) I think the softlocks are worth noting. They shouldn't have happened, really. It's awful. Speaking from what I've seen online with other people's experiences.. One of the glitches is that during dialogue cutscenes, sometimes you can get stuck and not be able to move, which, y'know. Can't move. Can't act. Can't play the game. Softlocked.

Another is on Night 4, this one seems more common, especially for console players, if you try accessing the cameras.. you fall through the void and get stuck, and, I assume, eventually die. Either that or you get stuck and again, can't move, can't act. Done. Another softlock, a very common one people are still waiting to get patched.

And Night 5, sometimes the girl in the party room just won't even spawn. Again, can't talk to her, can't act, can't advance the story, softlocked. You're stuck. Nothing you can do. It's awful. I wouldn't be surprised if there's more I haven't heard of, but game-breaking softlocks like this should NOT be happening on an official release like this. As much as people hate on Security Breach for its buggy launch, at least to my knowledge, most of the bugs were either funny visual glitches or would help you beat the game FASTER, not prevent you from beating it at all! Which whatever. Maybe I am wrong on that. I don't really care. Security breach was kinda known for its glitches at the time, so it's a little annoying to me to see Into the Pit have such a positive reputation so far when stuff like THIS is happening to it. It feels hypocritical to hate one game and praise another like that, but maybe that's just my bias showing.

I'm having a hard time actually concluding this but it's just.. I see so many flaws in it. I think even the checkpoints could've been fixed so easily by just allowing manual saves that could save items but may only be allowed in certain rooms due to animatronics spawning. Something along those lines. Whether it's saving in a menu or in a physical station like Security Breach, it could've helped a lot since the autosave is so risky and unreliable. It just feels like some of these issues shouldn't have made it to release. Especially chapter select, that feels like an essential feature for a chapter-based game in my opinion, most games like this have it, but, whatever.. I just think it's very flawed. It may be fun to watch someone else play but I had a horrible time experiencing it for myself and I just found it to be not worth it. I'm sad to say I regret it. I considered getting a refund but found I already had 2.5 hours, so, I couldn't. I think in the state it released in the game wasn't worth its price tag. I'd say it was worth 10-15. I just.. I'm tired. This game has exhausted me. I don't know how to end this in a very structured way, I just feel so done with this game.

[silhouette-anon]

[im gonna include simon above the cut because this is SUPER long. other characters below the cut] [i know im quite late .. sorryyy]

SIMON

FAVORITE PEOPLE: She's so pretty, and the kindest girl I've ever met. She's saved my life multiple times, and I would do anything for her sake..

He's my best friend, my other half, and I.. I don't know where I would be without him. I miss him.

He's a bit... Chaotic, at times, but I still appreciate his friendship, and I know he cares a lot. I like being around him, honestly.

He doesn't know how to take care of himself, but he's still wonderful to be around. He has so many different interests, and he cares much more than he says he does. And he owes me all my money back.

And..

She was very sassy, she's my sister, she had so much artistic talent, and she's going to be- ..She was going to be amazing in the future.

LEAST FAVORITE: He always smelled like smoke, he didn't bat an eye no matter what happened, and he always brushed everyone off. He acted like things were fine and they never were... But, even then, I'm still sorry for what I did to him.

She tried to torture me. What more do I have to fucking say?

...I don't know how to feel about him. I can't really blame him for what he did, I guess. Maybe I should even thank him. Without him, I wouldn't have met her, right?

They lied to our face. They acted like they cared, they acted like they could buy our love. All they ever sent were pre-written post cards and they promised to be there for your birthdays, and they never were.

ZOMBIE?

FAVORITE PEOPLE: He's beautiful. He's so funny, and caring, and he deserves bette--

She's smarter than she gives 'erself credit for, and she's destined for a better place than this hellhole. I hope that she eventually understands how much we care 'bout--

Even if we haven't talked very much, he was kind to me, and I.. Really hope things are going better for him. I wonder if he would still be kind, even to someone who has nobody's memor--

Every goddamn room he's in, immediately brightens up. He knows everyone's names, everyone's birthdays, and he's given everyone a chance. A bit naive, yea, especially considering I ended up being one of the first people he called a friend, but it's not exactly a bad thing. He should be more careful, thoug--

He can be a bit.. concerning, and scary, although he let me live with him for a long while, and I'm really grateful for that... Does he know?? Does he know anything about how I got here? Does h--

Does he probably hate me? Yea. Is he Caleb's best friend? Also yea. Automatically means he has my approval. Don't tell him I said this, but every morning, I'm the one who keeps makin' his favorite coffee and settin' it on the counter for him. I wonder if he realiz--

All of those people, fighting for a great cause, fighting to save a kingdom, and I could barely even aim my gun. I didn't even know how to talk to them. Do I even deserv--

What they would say if they saw me now? Good ol', charmin' Zach, gone from a jock with so much potential and a good will to a corrupt deputy in a nowhere town.

LEAST FAVORITE: I don't know why she shot me. She said something really weird at the time. I.. I should ask her about it. Do I really want to talk to her? If anything, she hates m--

BASTARDS! PAYING ME TO COVER UP THIS SHIT, I FUCKING HATE WORKING FOR THEM! ALL OF THEM! I HATE THEM! I HA--

She's asked me if I eat brains. I.. I don't even.. I don't even know what to say to that, honestly. I think I'm worried that she thinks I'm a friend. Is that rude to say? I don't kno--

He's always looking at me with this blank look in his eye. He won't say it, but I know he's already given up on his sister. I have too, to tell ya the truth. I don't know how to help him, I just... Maybe- Maybe I can figure something ou--

I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate his ragged, blonde hair. I hate his endless stare. I hate his annoying cluelessness, I hate his shyness, I hate his loneliness. I hate the false badge that's pinned to his chest, I hate his fake name, I hate his nothing past, I hate him. I hate him. I HATE HIM.

I hate me.

CLOWN

FAVORITE PEOPLE: He tolerates me!!!! Although he's realllyyy annoying. I like him!!! He makes mee... Happy. Yeah!! Entertained. I still think he should let me do whatever I want forever though. MY LOYAL FOLLOWER!!!!! WE SHALL BRING CHAOS UPON THE CIRCUS!!!! SHE IS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!!!!!!

Oohh, Carbine, Carbine, I hate him. He's so fun to fight. I hate the way he won't die. He's such a challenge. He's different. The way he cares is so intriguing!!! I hate the way he tried to give up so easily. He shouldn't do that. He's... Entertaining. He should stick around.

FELICIA!!!!! I think the way she looks at me is funny. I know she hates me. I know she wants me gone. I want to kill him all over again just to see the look on her face.

I taught a lady how to juggle chainsaws, I think. A while ago. I should TALK TO HER AGAIN!!!!!

Well, you know, I can't just gloss over the person who gave me a body!!! It's a shame he didn't live that long, though. I shouldn't have killed him so fast!

Gryphon. I wonder if he's still alive?

LEAST FAVORITE: Stupid guardsman, stupider Pharaoh. Really thought they could fight me, couldn't even make it last long. Who dies that fast?

He made me uncomfortable. What's with all those eyes? What a freak.

I don't like that phone. He needs to stay in his place. He's not as fun as anyone else, too much of a coward, won't even fight me. I'm not going to waste my time with him.

STUPID! CAT THING!!!! OUT OF MY ROOM!! WHY DO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH HIM!!!! He's SO STRANGE!!!!

It was scaring Dialtone. I think it scared Felicia. What is it's deal? Why was Dialtone so afraid of it?? I don't care. I'm glad it's gone. It was ruining everything. I don't want to see it again.

CALEB

FAVORITE PEOPLE: Oh, he's so cool!! He's so caring, and he's my best friend!!! I want to be more like him!! I want to- I want to catch up with him!! I wish I didn't die. I wish I could've been there, by his side!! With him and all of my friends!!!

She saved me from.. The void? I guess that's what it's probably called!! She's really tall, and really pretty, and very kind! I should get her a gift or whatever- As a thank-you, or.. something.. I want to talk to her again!!! I hope she's doing okay..

He was a bit isolated, sure, but when you get to know him he's amazing! He has so many cool stories from high school, and also he taught me how to hijack a car! Don't know why or how he knows how to do that, although I figured I shouldn't question it. Oh!! Did I ever mention how he always made coffee for Niko each morning?

Niko's best friend!! I haven't talked to him much, but he's very kind, and anyone who's a friend of Niko's is a friend of mine! Also, just LOOK at him!! He's so cool looking!!! I wonder how well he can fly with the wings?

My dearrrr.... My darlinggg... My lovee... Ohh.. She's so beautiful. She's so wonderful. She's so caring.. Her hair is so soft, she's so pretty, her eyes are the color of honey and her voice is just as sweet, I could snuggle with her forever. Ohh, I love her!!!! I love her!!!! I miss her. I miss her. I love her!!!!!!!

Oh, my friend!!! He's so kind, although I feel a bit bad for him. Not for the reason you'd think, though!! I just wish people paid more attention to him. Also, he's SUCH A GOOD BAKER!! I mean, seriously, I've never had a better cake. Never.

...How long have I been gone? I want to see her again. Oh, oh no, she must be so worried- I hope Felicia told her where I went- If she even knows herself.. Ohh.. No, no.. I want to- I want... I wanna go home. I wanna go home. Mom. Momma..

...'Yomi... You must miss me too.. I-I want to go home. I want to hug him, I want to hug mom, I want to hug everyone. I want to see everyone!! I want to see my family!!!! I want- I want to see my amazing and talented brother and my caring mom!!- I-

LEAST FAVORITE: He.. taunted me in the void, talking about Niko and Felicia- And- And- That's not even the IMPORTANT PART!!.. He hurt Niko!! He hurt a lot of people, I'm not even sure how many, and.. I'm glad he's gone.

...She hurt her. She hurt Felicia. I remember--We were only a week into the relationship, and she wanted to meet me. Her house was so... Dull. Unwelcoming. And Felicia just went... Blank? I-I don't know how to describe it, all she said to her was "Okay," and "Yes ma'am." I'm.. I'm glad Felicia stopped talking to her.

I don't know what makes me hate it more. The fact that it killed me, or the fact that Felicia had to watch. I don't know what happened, I reached for the door, and then- A pain, and nothing. It was so fast, I didn't even scream. I heard her scream, though. I heard it, only for a second, my name. I don't want to hear that ever again. I hope she deleted it. I hope it hasn't hurt anyone else.

..Uhm, I.. Don't know how to explain this one. I don't like him, I hate him, but I never met him. Not personally. Zachariah told me about him... Actually, I don't think Zachariah meant to. He was drunk and, uh, crying. I've never seen him like that, it was kind of surreal- And he was rambling on about this guy who.. committed some sort of crime? And that he "saw something awful" and how red it was. I.. I think it really hurt him. I still don't know what happened, and Zachariah doesn't remember telling me. I.. Decided not to tell him that I knew.

FELICIA

FAVORITE PEOPLE: I love him. I love him, I loved him. I should've told him that I did more often. He was so caring, he was so gentle, he was so outgoing, he was so handsome, he was so sweet, he... He was everything to me, he saved me. And now he's rotting in a hospital bed.

She's been too kind to me. She's been to kind to the person who's responsible for her children being gone. Does she know? She calls me "dear." "You're family, dear, don't get forget that." "It's not your fault, I know it hurts, dear." I think she'd kill me if she knew. And I think I wouldn't blame her.

He's so stupid, in a good way. It's endearing. All of that power, and he does the most trivial things with it. He exploded an oven once, I think. That was fun to hear about... Fuck. Fuck. Why did I have to be the one to find your corpse? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I should've helped you. Please don't hate me.

...He was more than just my boss. He thought nobody really noticed, but I did. He cares. He cares a lot. I could see the shift in his expression when talking to any of us. And, and.. When Caleb was.. Gone.. He was there. He was there when Caleb was gone, he was there when Nikolai was gone, and- And it was just us. He was the last thing I had left. And.. Then... He... He didn't deserve what happened to him.

Oh, he's so kind... I could talk to him for hours. He's my best friend. He's the only thing keeping him sane. Of course, I won't tell him that. He already has enough to take care of. I... I wish I could hug him. I wish I was more like him. I wish I knew how to stop hurting people.

LEAST FAVORITE: I hate him. I hate him. I don't even need to say his stupid name. Why do I even use his name? He's not human. He's not real. I regret everything I've done, I regret creating him, I regret letting Caleb put on that headset, I..I- And I KNOW HE ENJOYS WATCHING ME SUFFER. Yet.. Yet I don't care. I don't care enough to bother trying to get rid of him. I'm so tired.

I wish I wasn't there that day. I don't know how I ended up down there, I.. I don't even know entirely what happened, they haven't told me, still won't. There was so much blood. I've never had to tackle someone before. He looked so.. Distraught.

WHY DID YOU SHOOT HIM?! WHY DID YOU SHOOT HIM?! HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!!! HE DID NOTHING WRONG!!! AND YOU- YOU- You took him away from me. I wish I killed you. I wish I killed you when I had the chance. Who says I've lost that chance?

Bastard. Bastard. The both of you, bastards. You're not innocent because you sat and waited in that damn car. I'm not stupid. You knew exactly what was going to happen. You planned it with him. You had so much blood on you. Was it worth it? WAS IT WORTH IT?!

I should've listened to her. She was right. I would've been better off if I just stayed in line. Where are you now? Do you even care about me anymore? Or am I just a failed project to you? Am I just a failure of a daughter to you? Am I even your daughter anymore?

Do you know what you're getting yourself into? I don't know whether or not to feel bad for you, you probably know your husband's a murderer. You'd defend him, wouldn't you? He's so sorry, isn't he? You forgave him, right? WHAT ABOUT EVERYONE HE HURT?! EVER CONSIDERING ASKING THEM?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I thought you were going to hurt me, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, I swear. I promise. God, I couldn't even recognize you. You didn't deserve that. I'm so sorry. I can still feel the blood on my hands.

...

The worst girl in the world.

I hate her. I hate myself. I wish I wasn't a coward. I wish that man stabbed me that day. The only thing tying me here is him. The silence is so deafening, I want to sleep forever. I deserve to be dead. I want to die, I want to cut, cut, cut, I already do, and it's not enough. I can see them all staring at me, do they pity me? No, of course not, they hate me. They know what I did. Of course they know. I don't deserve happiness. I never did. I can't recognize my face in the mirror, I need to tear it off, I need to claw at it until it bleeds, I need to wash my hands until they're sore, there's still blood on them.

I can still see them, you know. Every now and then, I get a glimpse of them. Caleb at his desk. Zachariah smoking outside. Nikolai walking down the halls. They never look me in the eyes, and they disappear when I blink. I never deserved them, I was the worst thing that happened to them. I hope one of those illusions grabs me by the neck and strangles me, because I wouldn't stop them anyway.

i’m going out and doing things today, soooo…you get your daily question early! As usual, all credits to autumn for the idea ^^

DAILY(?) QUESTION 3, ELECTRIC BEEGALEE:

Have your oc describe their favorite person/people! Optionally, have them also describe their least favorite people.

[shasha-writes-things]

We all know Juno is not what one would call a “good mom”. I was thinking what if one day when Juno was really laying into Beej about how much of a screw up he was, reader just comes out of nowhere and just starts going toe-to-toe with her defending him and inadvertently confessing their feelings for him.

Just thought it would be really cute.

This is such a cute prompt!!! I've been waiting all day at work to write something for it and i 100% am gonna fuck my sleep schedule up for this. I also wrote this as a short fic rather than headcannons  either way enough of rambling time for the beetlefluff!!!

-----------------

It was dark and dreary and the room looked strange to say the very least. This was not your home. More some kind of prison holding cell but even then where why what had happened. 'Drip, drip drip' a small burst pipe in the corner continued as the drips of whatever dripped onto the floor. The floor was no bigger than a closet the burst pipe no light and a door.

As the door creaked slightly ajar the only noise that could ve heard was a horrible voice. Maybe it was rude to say but the voice sounded like someone who had been smoking for 1000 years non stop "Lawrence!" The voice said as you managed to make out a name still unaware of where you were, who was Lawrence? Who was the woman? Why did she seem to hate Lawrence? "Ugh mom why can't you just let me decide what I do with my life!" The all too familiar voice whined at his mother.

"Because Lawrence your pathetic you're a screw up always meddling with things you shouldn't be always trying to be something your not always trying so hard but always ending up being the same disappointment you've always been. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SUCH A SCREW UP LAWRENCE, I SHOULDVE LEFT LIKE YOUR FATHER AT LEAST HE HAS THE BLESSING OF NOT KNOWING HOW MUCH OF A DISSAPOINTMENT YOU ARE!"

The only noise that broke the silence was the creak of the door as you saw 'beej' practically cowering from his mother's yelling. With that it took barely a second for the door to swing open almost falling off its hinges.

"How dare you say any of that to him!" You started an instant relief fear both maybe striking beej's features as you stood between him and juno. "How dare you suggest that you aren't the reason for how your son has turned out, you had a problem and turned to the bottle you weren't thinking about him then, you weren't thinking about him when his father left, you were never considering how he felt! Your don't deserve him and he deserves way better than hos dissapointing of a mother you are! And I don't want to hear any bad about him because he is wonderful caring funny amazing and that's why I love him..." You said taking a tiny step back to find your frame against beetlejuices frame.

"B-babes...y-you love... me..." he said barely able to say anything else and not acknowledging his mother focused on you like you were the only person in the world. "Y-yes for a while now I just didn't know how to say it I thought you wouldn't feel the same you probably don't.." it took a moment before you could look up to face him and see the wounded expression he had on his face "y/n... I love you more than anything in the neverworld on your world I just I mean a bio exorcist, demon, ghost, me with someone as amazing as you I just didn't want to get in your way.. there's someone a soulmate or whatever out there for you.." it took a moment for you to form a thought as you took beetlejuice's cold hands into your warmer ones. "I've already found my soulmate and he's right infront of me.." You said softly as your warm lips met his icy cold skin. "Trust me you are who I want, if you want me? You said softly "oh babes your the only one I want come on let's go home.." he said excitement on his face as you got poofed back to your house tightly embracing him.

------------------

First one-shot fic something this was a bit of hurt but so much fluff I'm super happy with how it turned out

As per usual if you got anything you'd like writing then lemme know!!!

[ticketstomydaydreams]

Lockdown Frustration (18+)

Part One: Cold Shower

Part Two

Colson x Female Reader

Summary: When lockdown is making you seriously sexually frustrated, your friend offers to help you through it

Feels: Pure Horn

Word count: 3,664 - I got reeeal into this

Warnings: Total smut, unprotected sex, rough sex

A/N: This was my first time writing smut, so would love to hear what your favourite bit was (send me an ask if you're shy) 😈

_______

You’d been in lockdown for a few weeks now and to say you were horny was an understatement. You’d moved in with your friends temporarily when the stay at home order came in, instead of being stuck at home by yourself but while you weren’t necessarily bored...you were certainly frustrated. Used to being able to call on a hook up or head out to clubs to flirt, it had now been AT LEAST two months since you’d scratched that itch so to say.

Lying by the pool in the backyard, feeling wound up and restless, you started swiping through tinder. You swiped past the usual reams of so-so suitors, most of which you’d never normally be interested in, but at this point were seeming a bit more enticing. You were casually swiping right on a couple of profiles that you’d potentially consider some ‘sext exchanges’ with, when you heard the screen door open just above you. Your temporary housemate and long term friend, Colson, strolls out and heads towards you.

“What you upto out here Y/N, I’m bored” he huffs, as he flops down on the sun lounger next to yours.

“Just torturing myself, scrolling through tinder. This lockdown’s getting preeeeetty frustrating”

Your eyes not leaving your phone as you respond, thumbs still swiping away

“I didn’t think you got around enough for this to be a long stretch for you” he teases, poking you in the side so you turn and look at him

“Rude! I get mine, thank you very much. I’m just not as obvious about it as you, I certainly don’t go this long that’s for sure” you fire back

“Okay, okay, my bad. So your solo sessions aren’t quite cutting it then?” he winks suggestively at you, sticking his tongue out

“That is none of your damn business” you laugh, turning your attention back to your phone, sighing “But if you must know, not really…”

“Well, if you ever need a hand, I’m just saying, you could make it my business”

You look up at this comment and see him lying back on the lounger, arms above his head, his eyes closed with a cocky smirk on his face. You don’t see him open one eye, catching you subtly taking in his tattooed torso, your eyes focusing on his XXX tattoo.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t think he was super hot, but it was Colson, you know?

“See anything you like?” he says, making you jump slightly

“Shut up Colson, stop bothering me and go and find something to do” you snap back, feeling a little embarrassed at being caught staring at your friend’s crotch

“Maybe that’s what I’m already doing, looking for something to 'do' ”

You laugh his blatant innuendo off, but he’s got you feeling tense now. You stand up to head back into the house “I’m going for a shower”

“You want some company?” He offers with a cheeky grin

“I’m alright thanks, I’ll make it a cold one!”

______

Once you’re in the shower, you find yourself feeling even more hot and bothered, despite the cool water cascading over you. Colson’s teasing comments swirling in your head, you slip your hand between your legs trying to relieve some of the tension you're feeling. A few minutes later you turn the shower off, a little more relaxed and ready to find something to occupy your busy mind for the rest of the afternoon. You dry yourself off, wrap yourself in a towel and gather your hair into a messy bun on top of your head.

“Feeling any better after that?”

Not expecting to see Colson sitting on your bed, his voice makes you jump as you come out of your ensuite

“For fucks sake, you scared the life out of me!” You scold him as he laughs at you

Once you compose yourself, you laugh along with him and with eyebrows raised, you ask "and why are you here?"

Leaning back on his hands, he smirks and replies, "Just making sure the cold shower did the trick", as he makes an obvious point of looking you up and down, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth.

You roll your eyes but can't help but give him a quick once over yourself, taking in the sight before you: his topless torso, the slight sheen of sweat glistening across his tattoos, his damp blonde locks disheveled and hanging into his eyes, long legs spread apart as they hang off the side of your bed, the thin material of his shorts. Eeesh. You feel a warm flush spreading through your body, that has nothing to do with the sun or the shower.

Fuck he looks good, you think, it'd be so easy to just... Argh. Sleeping with one of your best friends while you're locked down together is surely a recipe for disaster... Right? Besides, he's always teasing you like this, that's just Colson. You're probably only reacting this way because, well, surely everyone is horny while stuck in lockdown...

You quickly push those thoughts away and sigh dramatically while clutching your towel tighter around your chest, "Get out Colson, I need to get dressed"

Unperturbed, he stares you dead in the eye and states slyly "what you're wearing looks just fine from here"

"Stop it now, creeper" you say, half smiling and waving him away with a shooing motion. He laughs, low and soft, "Okay, okay" and holds his hands up in mock defeat. This kind of back and forth was the norm for you two, but today... Today you found your heart was beating out of your chest and the steady eye contact he was maintaining was making you twinge in such an intense way, you were sure he could tell.

Starting to get a little flustered, you take a step towards your dresser and Colson reaches out grabbing you by the hand and pulling you into him. You stumble ungracefully and find yourself inches from his face, one leg on either side of his left thigh, both hands on his chest. He places both hands on your waist to steady you and you can feel his long fingers pressing into you through your towel.

"Wh-what are you doing?" you giggle suggestively, your voice husky

"Come on Y/N... " he says leaning in, his lips almost grazing yours as he speaks. He pulls back slightly and locks his eyes onto yours "You can't say you don't feel this too"

"Colson..." Just as you begin to speak he slides his hands down to your hips and pulls you even closer to him so your forehead is leaning against his. He shifts, pressing his bare thigh up between your legs, a small gasp escapes your mouth as you feel the pressure against your clit. "Mmm, we shouldn't" you murmur, breath ragged, as you slowly run your hands up his neck and into his hair.

He leans into your neck, dragging his bottom lip up to your ear and whispers, "Tell me you don't want this and I'll stop right now" before pressing a long lingering kiss to your neck and nibbling on your earlobe. You audibly groan and he lets out a soft growl as you gently tug his hair causing him to grip you harder. You instinctively roll your hips, grinding yourself further against his thigh, showing him just how wet you are.

He grazes his soft lips across yours, before bringing his hand up to your face and gently gripping your chin

"I'm gonna need an answer, use your words Y/N, tell me what you want"

As he presses his thigh up against your clit again, you moan "you, I want you"

"That's my girl" he smirks before crashing his lips against yours in a deep lingering kiss, tongue sliding into your mouth as he reaches down behind your thighs and lifts you onto his lap. Your tongues battle for dominance as you grind down onto him, feeling him getting hard through the thin material of his shorts. He slides his hands under your towel and grips your bare ass tightly as he presses himself up against you, electricity fires through your core and you let out a soft moan into his kiss

You bite his bottom lip, gently tugging on it and he groans at the action. “This towel has got to go” he says, locking eyes with you, his pupils black and blown out with lust. You lean back and undo your towel, dropping it behind you. He lets out a breathy ‘wow’ as he takes in the view of you completely naked, straddling his lap

“Fuck, you’re so hot” he says, pulling you into him as he kisses you again hungrily, moving from your mouth to neck. You continue to roll your hips onto his now rock hard cock and he bites your neck hard in response, leaving a purple mark above your collarbone. He moves his mouth to your chest, kissing between your breasts before flicking his tongue across your left nipple then sucking on it harshly. You let out a whine at the sensation, causing a dirty smile to spread across his face “Oh you like it rough do you?” he says as he moves across to your right nipple, taking it between his teeth and biting, pulling slightly

“Shit” you moan, grabbing his face with both your hands and crashing your lips against his. Just the feeling of his tongue twisting with yours has you so turned on, you feel like you could cum already. You reach down between the two of you and slide your hand into his shorts, wrapping it around his thick cock, pumping your hand up and down it’s length and he breaks away from your kiss to exhale deeply

“I wanna fuck you so badly Colson”

“Not yet” he says, as he reaches under your ass, and lifts you, flipping you onto your back on the bed. You reach up to pull him down on top of you, but he grabs your wrist and pins it above your head. Hovering over you, he uses his other hand to bring your other arm above your head, wrapping one hand around both of your wrists. You struggle slightly, but he holds your wrists tighter as you pout and whimper out “Hey, no fair”

Smirking at you squirming, he lets out a soft throaty chuckle “You told me it had been too long, you think I’m gonna let you rush this?” Still holding your wrists above your head with his left hand, he brings his right hand to your cheek and presses a slow lingering kiss to your lips “Just trust me…”

“Okay” you murmur, your heart beating and your breath shaky as he slowly trails his hand down your neck, over your breast and down your stomach, maintaining eye contact the entire time. This slow pace after your passionate kissing and grinding just before, was killing you and you instinctively lift your hips towards him as his hand gets closer to your core, your clit throbbing so hard with need it’s almost painful. He strokes his hand over your hip bone and down your thigh and you whine in disappointment, “Patience babygirl” he says as he kisses you again, moving his tongue slowly with yours, sending electric bolts to your aching core. His hand slides up your thigh, skimming past your soaking area and down your other thigh

You pull back from his lips “Come on Colson, you’re killing me, I need you…”

“Oh yeah? Let me see how much…” He says, nose pressed against yours as he traces his finger through your folds, gathering your wetness and sliding from your entrance up to your clit, circling it slowly “Is this what you need?”

“Fuck... yes” you moan as he pushes his long middle finger into your entrance, curling hard against your g spot, your eyes squeezing closed in pleasure. “You want more?” he says, slowly sliding his finger out and then back in pressing hard on your inside wall again. “Yeah, more..” you choke out. He watches your face intently, your head tilted back, breathy moans escaping you as he slips his ring finger in alongside his middle, the cold metal of his silver ring pressing against you, and starts pumping them in and out of you. He buries his fingers inside of you up to the knuckles and starts beckoning against your g spot, causing your moans to get louder as your stomach tightens, your orgasm building

“Oh my god that feels so good” you manage to whimper out, panting “Don’t s-stop... I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that…”

Hearing this he let’s go of your wrists, and cups the back of your neck with his hand, pulling your face to his and sliding his tongue in your mouth, suffocating you with his kiss. Your body twists towards him, your legs clamping around his forearm as he fucks you with his fingers. You reach your right hand up and grab a fistful of his messy, damp hair as you slide your left hand down his tensed, tattooed stomach and into his shorts. His cock is throbbing from grinding against you and you feel a wet bead of precum as you slide your thumb across his tip and then up and down his swollen shaft

You pull back from his kiss to let out a deep moan “Oh god, I’m gonna cum”

He presses his forehead to yours “Say my name, I wanna hear you say it while you cum”

“Shit...Colson, fuck, oh god, Colson” you almost shout, your head thrown back as you feel your walls clench around him, your wetness pouring over his fingers as he works you through your orgasm while kissing and sucking on your exposed neck. He pulls his dripping fingers away from and releases his tight grip on the back of neck, letting your back fall gently back on the bed. The loss of contact brings you back to reality and you shakily prop yourself up on your elbows to see him sitting up, pulling his strained shorts down. His rock hard cock springs against his stomach and you let out a long ragged exhale as you see it, your eyes wandering up his lean, sweat covered torso to see the dirty smile on his face as he watches you.

“I’m not finished with you yet” he says, staring down at you with lust filled eyes as he tugs at his length “You think you can handle it?”

“I could ask you the same thing” you countered, sliding your hand between your open legs, drawing his attention to your glistening core and the wet patch beneath you

“Damn Y/N, have I met my match here?” he laughs as he lightly pushes your shoulders back onto the bed. Climbing on top of you he covers your mouth with his in a hungry kiss, as he roughly thrusts himself against you, his rigid shaft moving easily against your drenched clit. Still swollen and sensitive from your orgasm, you let out a slow needy moan, encouraging him to repeat the action.

Propped up on one elbow, he reaches down with his other hand and grabs his cock

“Shit you’re so wet for me aren’t you?” he says, his lips grazing yours as he guides the tip of his dick from your clit to your entrance and back again

“I don’t know why you sound surprised..” you murmur as you bite his bottom lip “...Daddy”

“Daaamn Y/N, you know what that shit does to me, you’re really asking for it now”

Groaning at your words, he presses the swollen tip of his against your tight entrance and you tremble at the feeling, ready to take him... when he pulls back

“Shit, do you have condoms in here?”

“No, but I’m on the pill…” you break your sentence off to kiss him, hard “...and we both know we’re good…” you kiss him again, not wanting to lose momentum “...and let’s face it, we both know it’s better without..”

“You’re so bad Y/N” he says breathlessly, as you wrap your hand around his throbbing shaft, pumping your up and down as you guide it back to your yearning pussy, the anticipation has you both barely able to breathe

“I need you now” That’s all he needs to hear and he pushes his entire length through your soaking wet entrance. “Fuck” you moan out loudly, as he bottoms out, stretching you out with his thick cock, the pleasure spreading immediately through your entire body. You move your hips up against his, adjusting to his size.

“You okay babygirl?” he scans your face as he pulls back slowly

“Fuck yeah”

Encouraged, he slams himself back into you again “God, you’re so fucking tight” he hisses through gritted teeth as he rolls his hips against you, savouring the sensation and letting you feel very inch as he sinks into you, “Shit, you feel amazing”

His slow thrusts, pulling fully out of you each time, have your entire body quivering. Getting desperate to be ravaged, you grab his face with both hands and bring his mouth to yours, flicking your tongue against his

“Quit teasing and fuck me Colson”

He lets out a soft breathy laugh as he sits up, pulling you roughly towards him by your hips and presses your thighs up towards your chest as he hovers over you, holding his already drenched cock at your entrance “You ready?”

“Never been more re….”

You don’t even get to finish your sentence before he plunges into your aching pussy, knocking the breath out of you. He reaches behind your neck, pulling your forehead to his as he pounds into you, hard and fast. “Is this what you wanted huh? You wanna be fucked hard like a bad girl?”

You can barely respond, choking out a “fuck yes, oh my god, fuck me”

“You want this dick deep?” he says as he pushes his hand harder against your thigh, bringing it closer to the bed, heightening the pleasure as he hits your g spot even harder.

He’s only been fucking you for a couple of minutes at most before you’re screaming out

“I’m gonna cum”

“Cum on my cock for me babygirl” he whispers in your ear as fire crawls all over your body. Your nails dig into his back leaving raw red marks as you thrust your hips up into his, feeling your walls clench tightly around him repeatedly and you feel yourself flooding over his cock as your orgasm sears through you.

He fucks you through your orgasm and then pulls back suddenly. You lie there for a moment shaking, trying to catch your breath “Turn over” he demands, before he flips you over onto your stomach, grabs your hips and pulls your ass up towards him so you’re on your knees

“It’s not over yet” he says as he slaps his hard cock against your ass cheek, then slides it through the wetness that has pooled around your ass, pressing lightly against your tight hole. You whimper at the feeling and push back against him. “Another time…” he says as he moves his cock further down and delves back into your dripping pussy.

Spreading one hand across your lower back he pushes you further down onto the bed, the angle sending him deeper than you’ve ever felt before.

You grip onto the bedsheets, your moans filling the room as he pulls his other hand back and spanks you hard, the sharp sting making you clench around him. “More” you beg, “Oh you like that?” he taunts, hitting you again, even harder this time, leaving a handprint across your ass cheek.

He reaches down and grabs both of your arms, pulling your back up against his chest, as he thrusts furiously into you. With one hand holding your wrists behind you, he wraps his other around your neck and pulls your head back to whisper in your ear “This feel good?”

“So fucking good Colson, don’t stop” you moan “I’m gonna cum again soon…”

He lets go of your wrists and neck and pulls out, making you whine as the feeling of fullness leaves you. You turn to protest but he says “Turn around, I wanna watch you as you cum” then grips your waist, flipping you over and pulling your legs up around him.

You feel your orgasm building straight away as he buries his cock into you again. You start to cum and your eyes close, head tilting back as you feel the strong waves of pleasure coursing through you. He cups his hand around your face pulling it towards his “Look at me” he demands, his blue eyes drilling into yours as you whine

“Oh fuck Colson, I’m cumming, I’m cumming”

“I can feel you” he mumbles “I’m right behind you”

Your vision blurs as he fucks you through, your walls clenching so tightly, the orgasm so intense it feels like it’s not going to end until a deep warmth spreads through your body. His thrusts get more and more urgent, his breath coming in short, sharp blasts until he pulls out of you, pumping his swollen cock as his warm cum spills across your shivering body.

He leans down and presses a soft, lingering kiss to your lips before flopping onto his stomach next to you. You both lie for a moment, catching your breath, then he leans over the side of the bed and grabs the towel you stripped off earlier.

“I think you’re gonna need this” he says, eyeing your glistening torso

You both burst out laughing, “Yeah, I think that’s our friendship successfully ruined” you say as you take the towel from him and start cleaning yourself up

He lays his head on your warm, naked thighs and looks up at you,

“It seems pretty clear to me, that you and I are not supposed to be just friends”

Returning his gaze, you stroke your hand across his forehead, pushing his damp, blonde hair back,

“Looks like lockdown isn’t going to be that boring after all”

______

[harryhoney-bee]

Hiiiiiiiiii could you do a fluff one, with jealous harry? 🤲 BEIJOS IRMÃ !

Jealousy

Sumarry: Harry gets gets jealous at a party

Word count: 1.2k

Y/n and Harry had just left a party thrown by one of y/n's childhood friends. Everything was going well, until Carl decided it was ok to keep a hand on the girl's waist and shoulder whenever they were talking, this, of course, made Harry upset.

He was watching them from far away, y/n said she was hungry, so Harry went looking for some snacks for her, on the way back he was met by that horrible sight: a random man touching his girlfriend as if they were super close (Harry had been dating her for almost 3 years, and he never saw that guy around her before.)

He sneakily got close to them, a plate with garlic bread in hand. Harry knows he shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but he couldn’t help himself, especially when the guy started talking.

“Do you remember when I asked you to the prom? I was shaking,” the guy laughed, making y/n laugh as well.

“Well, we were 14, so I guess it was normal to feel a little ner- Hi babe!” Y/n interrupted herself, looking at her boyfriend with a beautiful smile, “I thought you would never come back, here, let me introduce you to Carl.”

Harry gave a fake smile to the man and shook his hand a little too tight. “Hi Carl, I’m Harry, Y/n’s boyfriend,” he said, hooking his arms around the girl’s body, who looked at him weirdly, “Y/n never talked about you before, but I guess you guys are friends?”

Carl picked up right away Harry’s intentions. “Yeah, we dated at the beginning of high school.”

“Actually, we didn’t date-”

“I’m her friend’s older brother, me and y/n even went to the prom together,” Carl cut her in the middle of her sentence, which made Harry very angry. It was so rude not to let people speak, although he didn’t expect anything less from him.

Harry kissed y/n’s cheek, “I bet your dress looked amazing, love,” he told her. “Did you guys enjoy the prom? with an amazing girl like y/n by your side, you were probably on cloud 9, right Carl?”

He didn’t consider himself a possessive man, but the thought that he was the one holding y/n right now brought a smile to his face. Of course, they were just teens, but Carl's body language showed he wanted to be beyond friendly with her, and Harry just wasn’t having that.

“Yeah, she looked beautiful, just as she does right now,” Carl said, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh, good thing you liked it, I was the one who helped pick up her outfit,” Harry shot back.

Y/n took his arms off of her and rolled her eyes, “I’ll wait for you in the car, Harry. Come back when you’re done marking your territory or whatever.” she said harshly, leaving the two-man alone.

“I think you made her upset,” Carl said, “you should work on these insecurities issues, man.” Carl patted him on the back before heading in the opposite direction.

Insecurity issues? What the fuck he meant by that?

Harry proceeded to go to the car, trying to find Y/n, and apologized, since he was able to make her mad. He quickly saw her through the car’s window, typing on her phone, he knocked on the glass, signaling he was there, before turning to the other side of the door and opening the car handle and sitting on the driver’s seat beside her.

“Are you done being a caveman?” was the first thing y/n said without looking at him, “What did you do? Peed on him? maybe compared dick sizes?”

He suddenly felt embarrassed by his actions, “was is that bad?” he asked, looking at her, placing a hand on her thigh.

"Let's just say I could smell the testosterone in the room," she said grumpily, "we were fourteen, we held hands once and that was it."

"I'm sorry, love," he said, kissing her cheeks, "he was just all over you, and I didn't like that."

"I wasn't reciprocating anything though, I knew his intentions, I just don't care about Carl, I never did," she murmured.

"Not even when you were teens?" Harry took her body and placed her on his lap, making the girl giggle, "bet he was one of those weird kids," he started kissing her neck.

"You have no right to say that! Don't you think I saw your awkward high school pictures?" Y/n teased, letting the man bite her skin.

"Hey, no need to be rude, ya can't make fun of me, I was in a growing phase," Harry said with a pout, "but you would give me a chance if we met in high school, right?"

The girl got off his lap, adjusting her dress and sitting on the seat, leaving Harry confused, "hey, I thought we were having a moment!" The man said, pouting.

"Oh love, we won't be having a moment for the rest of the night, take this as a punishment for your actions," y/n said, "now go on, I wanna go home, my shoes are killing me." The girl took her high heels off, massaging her feet as Harry muttered how bossy she was.

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When the couple got home half an hour later, y/n was quick to jump in the shower, denying Harry's company with her, which in his opinion was very rude and not very eco-friendly of her.

The man was also not very happy when she got out of the foggy bathroom wearing only a small white towel. She knew she was teasing him, especially when she changed into one of his shirts right in front of him.

"Are you really keeping this up?" Harry asked, getting into the bathroom himself to take his shower alone. He got undressed as the girl was doing her night routine on the sink, brushing her teeth and applying moisturizer on her soft skin.

"Keep what up, baby?" Y/n didn’t even take a glance at him, only staring at her reflection in the mirror.

"I'm sorry, alright? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable in front of your friend" harry said the word friend as if it was a curse, but his apologies seemed genuine, "I know it's been some time since you saw your childhood friends, it was not nice to change the narrative of your convention because of my jealousy."

Harry had now gotten off the shower, he dried himself with a towel but didn't wear it, he never had a problem about nudity.

Y/n left the sink and jumped on the bed, looking at Harry as he put on some sweatpants before lying by her side, feeling happy as she let him cuddle with her. He hugged her by her side, feeling the warmth on his chest as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"It was just unnecessary," y/n said, kissing his skin softly, "you know I only have eyes for you, don't you?"

"I know, but the whole world has eyes for you," Harry said grumpily, holding her close and hooking his thighs in between hers, "not your fault you're so pretty."

[xpeachesncream]

bands | thirteen

[ series masterlist ]

summary: jeon jungkook has it all: the looks, the fame, the money, the women. being considered the sexiest man in the industry, he finds no complaints about the way his life is going nor does he find any reason to apologize for the way he approaches it. he is a force to be reckoned with - until he meets you.

pairing: stripper!reader x idol!jjk

genre: (18+) strip club/nightlife au, post grad au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 3.9k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, slight degradation, trouble stirring behind the scenes if you squint, yeonjun and soobin (txt) make an appearance but also as reg 18 yr olds lol

tags: @brightcolorsoffendme​ @min-nicoleee​ @eggbutnotyolk​ @ra-mun-e @miinoongi​ @jimidol​ @ppeachyttae​ @thebeebi​ @bluesharksandfish​ @kooafraid​ @liriaus​ @thisartemisnevermisses​ @ggukkieland​ @preciouschimine​ @sunniejinnie​ @cypheruby​ @cyb3rbab3​ @masterlists101​ @awhnamjoon​ @redhedhoseok​ @wooya1224​ @taeismydeath @jikookiekosmos​ @un2-verse​ @aynsx​ @wearenot7withu​ (please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

"BTS' Jeon Jungkook rumored to be dating stripper from nightclub!"

"Jungkook is no longer single, ladies!"

"Jeon Jungkook is dating a stripper? Why the hell is he doing that?"

"Who the hell does she think she is? I bet she's not even pretty."

"Jungkook fell for a stripper? Out of all people? Damn, and I thought he was better than that."

Jungkook has been tired, the rumors constantly being spread day in and day out. But, it still didn't mean he was gonna say shit to prove himself to people out there. He didn't need to give anybody answers. Hell, this was strictly between you and him and that's how he wants to keep it.

Fuck every single one of you who didn't wanna be behind him and support him. Don't even think about calling yourself a fan of his if that's your mindset.

He could truly care less. He was happy and he felt ten times better than he has in a really long time. It's unfortunate how people love to stay narrow minded. The only thing that bothered him was the fact that it was so unfair for you - how they stuck to that stripper image, rather than really getting to know you beneath the surface.

But it's not like anyone else deserved to know the real you, not after all this shit. And he was gonna keep it that way, and protect you.

"Hey, don't listen to any of that shit, okay?" Jungkook says as he meets you in your car in the BigHit building garage. "None of that matters to me."

"I know, but Kook." You look at him. "Your career, BigHit literally might not even want me here and-and—"

"Then I'll make sure they understand it's not an issue, because it's really fucking not." He says, getting irritated only at the thought of the company giving him issues over you. He watches as you slightly frown, causing him to sigh and soften his own facial expression. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get worked up like that. It's just annoying how people are narrow-minded. This has absolutely nothing to do with you." You give him a small smile. "Come on, I'll walk you." You silently nod and hop out of your car. You follow beside him, your stomach in knots having to meet with their performance director. This meant you'd also most likely run into the rest of Bangtan.

In which happens to turn true pretty quickly.

"Jungkookie!" Hoseok says loudly down the hallway as he approaches the both of you. He does nothing besides smile, curiosity definitely filling his eyes.

"This is Y/N. Y/N, Hoseok hyung." He holds out his hand for you to shake, his head tilting ever so slightly because you know he's familiar with your face. He's just trying to remember from where. Or, he has recognized you, but he's trying his hardest not to say anything.

Cause they have seen all of you, especially in that fishnet bodysuit.

"Hi! Nice to meet you! You can call me Hobi for short. Are you meeting with someone?" You nod.

"Yeah." Is all you can reply with as you shyly tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Nice, goodluck!"

"Is everyone else here?" Jungkook asks, making Hobi nod.

"Yeah, but they're still running through some stuff in the dance studio. I just ran off to take a break."

"Okay." Jungkook looks at you. "Follow me, he's in one of the private studio rooms." You both part ways from Hoseok, the need to clutch onto Jungkook's arm immensely strong right now. You hold yourself off though, because even with passing a few female staff members, you catch them looking at you oddly with the way you're walking side by side with Jungkook.

Nope. Don't even think about it, Y/N. It doesn't matter.

Jungkook knocks softly on a door, the middle of it being made up of entirely frosted glass so it's difficult to see inside. Their performance director opens the door swiftly and welcomes you in with a warm smile, stepping aside to let you in.

"I've got it from here, Jungkookie. Thank you." Jungkook nods but tries to peek through the door to get one last glimpse of your face before he shuts it fully. "How are you doing, Y/N?" He sits in front of you, leaning onto his knees with his hands fully clasped together.

"I'm good. How are you?"

"Good, tired." He chuckles. "Thanks for taking my call earlier and for meeting at such short notice on a weekend. I had a couple of things come up and didn't want to push things off until later." You smile.

"It's no problem."

"Jungkook tells me a lot about you."

"Does he now?" You chuckle and tilt your head to the side.

"Says you're a really good person. Super hardworking. Told me a little bit about your situation with your brother."

"Mmyeah, it's a little complicated."

"It's alright, no need to get into the details." He smiles before letting out a small sigh. "It's incredibly rare for me to hear Jungkook speak like that. In general. He's usually very closed off, doesn't like to let people in much. He really respects you, you know? Cares about you a whole lot." You slightly blush.

"I'm still getting used to it." He chuckled.

"Look, I know you've been worrying because of where you've been and all that, but I want to reassure you that none of it matters. I don't like to focus on all that. You're here as you, not her." He says, putting another pronoun to your stripper persona.

"Thank you, I appreciate it." He nods. There's a small pause before he begins to speak again.

"I could really use some help around here if you're still interested? The boys are becoming a lot for me to handle."

"Ah-uh, yeah! Of course I am." You found yourself stuttering at the sudden offer. Was this fucking real?! "But, you are aware of where me and Jungkook are at, right?" You ask, trying to be completely transparent and honest about their relationship. He nods and waves his hand out.

"As long as you keep it professional here, right?" You nod.

"Right."

"Come, let me show you around really quickly and have you formally meet the boys." You swallowed the lump in your throat. Fucking great. He definitely didn't know they've all seen your titties and pussy out during Yoongi's birthday, and now here you were - about to meet them again in this environment. Hobi was awkward enough even though he tried not to be.

Surprisingly, Jungkook wasn't waiting outside in the hallway like you thought he would be, but the tour commences and the PD is taking you around pretty quickly. You feel even more awkward and somewhat alone [even though you weren't] without Jungkook nearby, but you chug along and say your hello's to the people you're introduced to. He finally brings you into the dance studio, where there's loud ass music blasting, Jungkook, the boys and some backup dancers in front of the mirrors fooling around.

"Aye boys, come here real quick." You and Jimin lock eyes and your body suddenly gets tense. The room feels 10x hotter than it already is, especially when he slowly walks over and clenches his jaw. He is literally seeping with hate right now, maybe actually disgust, and he doesn't even try to hide it. Most of them for sure recognize you, but they seem to brush it off and give you a big wave/smile anyway.

"Last, that's Jimin - Jimin, Y/N." You give Jimin a fake smile, and the only thing his ass can reciprocate is the smallest, tight-lipped smile you have ever seen. You've never even seen your mom do that when she got mad or upset with you.

"Hi." Is all you can say.

"Sup." He looks at you before turning on his heel and walking away.

"Ooookay?" Namjoon furrows his brows as he watches Jimin walk away so rudely. "The hell was that about?"

"I knew that was Kookie's girlfriend! Maybe Jiminie remembers seeing her titties and shit too, needs to walk away before he gets his ass beat by him." Yoongi says lowly behind Namjoon.

"Yeah, like you're any better." Namjoon says, looking at Yoongi weirdly.

"I mean, we did see her practically naked." Jin says, chiming into the discussion.

"I touched her." Yoongi's mouth slightly hangs down. "I touched her."

"Go ahead, say it louder so Kookie can hear you." Jin nods sarcastically. "Go, say it!"

"No, stop." Yoongi's cheeks turn red while shaking his head and laughing. "He'll literally launch me out the window with one hand."

"Good."

"You asked for her to sit on your lap too, bro!"

"I was joking, and it's not like she did it anyway!"

"Whatever, I'm keeping my birthday deep in my memory storage."

"Clean slate for her so it should be for you too, my guy." Namjoon says as he has enough of their conversation.

You look at Jungkook who is silently standing there, looking like a big dork with a huge smile on his face and his thumbs up. You give him the tiniest nod before proceeding to follow the PD out.

"So?!" Jungkook dashes to meet you in their waiting room area, where an abnormally large picture of Jimin posing oddly hung up.

"He said he'll send me all the info and papers and stuff!" You respond excitedly as Kook hugs you and quickly swings you around.

"See, I knew it would work out!" He puts you down. "Are you gonna tell Kai?" You shook your head.

"Not today at least, it's his birthday and I don't wanna take away from that. It's his day." Jungkook smiles at you.

"Text me when you've picked him up? I should be home by then."

"Okay." You blush and back away, making Jungkook look at you with confusion. "I have to keep it professional here, duh."

"Ah I see." He chuckles. "That won't last very long."

"Jungkook." You whine.

"There's a lot of private rooms here and—"

"I'm not listening, sorry. I think Kai is suddenly calling me." You cover your ears as you begin to walk away, giving him one last smile before leaving him to the rest of rehearsals and whatever else they're doing. He laughs to himself as he waves you off, excited to get through the day so he can just spend time with you and Kai.

As the hours go on and it's about time for you to pick Kai up, you quickly stop by the store because you're a procrastinator and didn't buy Kai's birthday gift any earlier. You felt bad you weren't able to find the shoes he wanted, but you at least snagged the video game he had been talking about for a couple of days now. Before walking into the arcade, you made sure to write your birthday card and slip some more money into it before shoving it in your bag to give to him later.

"Your pretty sister is here." Yeonjun grabs Kai by the shoulder as he finishes up a game.

"Yeah, and you're too young for her."

"Age is nothing but a number. It's only like.. 6 years apart."

"Besides, she's taken, dude. Sorry." Kai snorts as he watches Yeonjun's smile fade. "You would have never had the chance."

"You're mean."

"I'm mean, or you just have really high, unrealistic expectations?" The rest of their friends laugh as they follow Kai over to you.

"Hey!" You smile at all his friends.

"Hiiiiii Y/N." They all say in unison, some waving in awe, while the others shyly dug their hands into their pockets. "Birthday boy, you all good to go? Got some good Loco Moco waiting for you."

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Happy birthday again, Kai! Get online later!" Soobin yells out.

"Yeah, yeah." He says, waving them off as he follows you out to your car.

"You guys run through the entire arcade?" Kai laughs.

"Pretty much." He sinks into his seat, legs damn near touching the glove compartment with how long he is. "I'm honestly so excited for Loco Moco. It's been years!"

"It has not been that long." You laughed.

"You're right, it's been months." Kai looks out the window. "Wait, you're passing the road to get to our go-to shop though?"

"Cause I found a better place."

"How is there a better place when that one was already supreme?!"

"Hey, trust me on this okay?" You laugh. Kai starts telling you about his day and how so many people he knew from school had been messaging him happy birthday. He truly looked his happiest today and it was all you could ask for. Though at the same time, your heart slightly sank at the fact that he'd be going off to uni soon and staying at the dorms. He was just growing up way too fast, and you wanted to spend as much time as you could with him now before he was too occupied being a college boy.

You slipped yourself past Jungkook's security, parking in the one guest spot they have in the garage that's closest to the elevator. Kai doesn't really question it and hops out anyway, his hands in his pockets as he follows you into the elevator and onto Jungkook's floor.

"You ready, kid?"

"Is this some like, Michelin Star Loco Moco restaurant?"

"Ah, I guess you could say that." You knocked on the door, hearing music playing in the background. Jungkook opens the door and Kai's eyes widen.

"Oh shit, that's Jungkook?" Kook laughs and steps aside to let you both in. "Sis why—what—how come you didn't tell me we were seeing your boyfriend? I look like a mess!" He says lowly.

"You don't!"

"Hey Kai! Happy Birthday!" Jungkook says smiling, making Kai actually blush. He's cheeks are tinted with a rosy color and he suddenly gets all shy.

"Thanks."

"Your brother's tall." Jungkook looks at him up and down.

"Looking at an 18 year old 6 footer."

"Must be nice."

"Go sit." Kai silently nods as he sits awkwardly on Kook's couch, while you go and check in on him in the kitchen.

"Is he always that shy?"

"No. Just with you, apparently. He's not even that shy around girls." You chuckle as he places a quick kiss on your head. "Need my help?" You still ask even though the plates are neatly prepared already.

"Not really." He smiles down at you. "You hungry though?"

"Starving, actually." Your eyes light up at the plates. "Ouuuuuu, yum."

"Honestly, I think this batch might be better than my first."

"Still honored to be your guinea pig." You carry a plate over to Jungkook's coffee table in the living room.

"Oh shit, that looks amazing." Kai says, slipping himself down from the couch to the floor so he could get a good whiff of the plate. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Jungkook hands you the remote before walking into his room. "Pick something."

"Here, birthday boy. Help me choose."

"Let's watch Soul on Disney+." At this point, Jungkook comes out of his room with a wrapped present, his eyes locked on the TV.

"Ooh, I keep seeing this everywhere! Niceeeee." Jungkook says, smiling with Kai nodding and already digging into his plate. "By the way, this is for you." You shoot him a look as he sits on the floor by you, watching as Kai unwraps the present. Kai's eyes light up as he sees a shoebox underneath the wrapping, quickly flipping the lid open to reveal those blue Air Jordans he wanted.

"Kook?!" You say lowly, making him smile at you and gently pinch your side.

"Holy shit!" He holds out a shoe, only for him to immediately shake his head and close the box again. "Jungkook, I can't take this." Kai says.

"No, it's your birthday."

"Yeah, but isn't this expensive? You've already done so much for me and my sister, I-I don't want to—"

"Kai, it's cool. If it's one thing you can do to repay me, it's to take my present." You literally want to cry at how sweet Jungkook is being with your brother. He had been good to you, no doubt, but this was one thing you didn't expect from him at all. Quite frankly, you had forgotten you mentioned the shoes to him. The fact that he actually remembered and kept his word.

"Okay." Kai says, gently setting the box down aside before looking at Jungkook with a small smile on his face. "Thank you. I really appreciate it. Like, even with the food and everything. It means a lot to me."

"You're welcome." You give him a soft smile before digging into your food while Soul was already off to a start. Kai and Jungkook devour their food together, with you following shortly behind as Jungkook brings over a small ice cream cake from his fridge for Kai to blow his candles on. After the boys had helped themselves to a good serving of the cake, they started getting hyper and pulled up Smash Bros on Kook's Nintendo Switch [as if Kai hadn't played enough games today]. It started to get intense; the boys jumping and yelling everywhere, bouncing off of the walls, with you getting pulled into the competition every now and then. Even though you knew you'd lost over and over again, you happily joined in anyway, seeing how excited your brother was - plus, it was always a bonus to hear Jungkook's loudly obnoxious, nerdy laugh.

"I WIN!"

"Hey, hey, hey. I let you win because it's your birthday." Jungkook said, making Kai laugh as he crashed to the floor.

"Sure." Kai huffed and puffed. "Crap, I'm tired. What time is it?"

"Almost midnight. We should start heading out, bubba." You patted Kai's chest gently.

"What? No, it's late. Why don't you two just stay here?" You suddenly remembered you've had Kai's shit in your trunk since you dropped him off at Yeonjun's this morning. You didn't have any change of clothes, but that could easily be fixed with Jungkook's closet.

"Only if the queen wants, she's driving."

"It's late, baby." Jungkook says to you softly. "No way I'm letting you two head out there."

"Okay." You give him a small smile before handing your keys. "Can you do me a favor?" He chuckles.

"What is it?"

"Kai's duffle bag is in my trunk." He nods and takes your keys.

"I got it. Kai, you can take the guest room or my office room." Jungkook says with his 3-bedroom apartment having ass. "I have my computer in my office room though, and a pull out bed. I don't know how comfy you'll be."

"It's cool, I'll just take your guest room. I always bring my laptop and switch whenever I sleep at my sister's." Kai says getting up. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Jungkook says, toothlessly smiling at the both of you, completely endeared at how alike you two were - even down to the fact that you both said thank you for every little thing. If this was a result of Kai being close to you and having you as pretty much his mother figure, then Jungkook wouldn't know what to do with his feelings. He felt butterflies every time he thought about how cute and sweet you were, and he was always excited to be around you.

Jungkook does a quick jog to your car, grabbing Kai's Nike duffle from your trunk before jogging back to the elevator and back to his apartment. He walks in to see Kai helping you clean up the remaining dishes in the sink, tidying the rest of the things in his kitchen.

"Thank you." Jungkook says himself, a little unfamiliar with saying such a thing to be completely honest.

"You're welcome." You say softly, wiping your hands on his hand towel. "Off to bed, or are you gonna go online with your friends?"

"I'll see what they're up to, but I'm pretty beat. Today was fun." Kai smiles at the both of you. "I really appreciate it." You ruffle his hair a bit before gently pushing him towards his bedroom for the night.

"Bathroom's right over there, help yourself to anything you need."

"Don't stay up too late."

"Only if you aren't too loud." You gasp while Jungkook laughs out loud.

"Kai!"

"Hey, I'm just being honest. Please remember that I'm right in this room."

"Oh my god, go to bed." You shove him inside the room and shut his door. "Don't even say a word." You look at Jungkook shyly as you hurriedly brush past him to get into his room - even though Jungkook is literally right behind you with those long ass legs of his, making every stride so much easier for him to catch up to you.

"What's your outfit of choice tonight, pretty lady?" He shuts his door behind him as you start to make your way into his closet.

"Hm, I'll just wear this plain black--" You unfold it. "Balenciaga? Okay, I definitely can't just wear this to sleep."

"Why not?"

"Because this is like, name brand and everything."

"So?" He shrugs. "Just wear it, babygirl. It's not gonna make much of a difference, you're wearing it either way." You do a slight pout before you start to slip out of your clothes to get into his shirt. You make his way to his bathroom to take a little tinkle when you notice another toothbrush sitting next to his. A pink toothbrush, next to his blue one.

"Why do you have two toothbrushes?" You wash your hands as he comes in to the bathroom to start getting ready for bed.

"That's yours." Your eyes light up at his statement.

"Mine?"

"I figured since you'd be over more, it'd be easier for you." He furrows his brows lightly. "Unless.. you didn't want--" You press a kiss against his lips, his hands resting on your arms to keep you close.

"No, I did want that. Thank you."

"Of course, baby." He pecks your forehead.

"By the way, way to make me look like such a bad sister!" You say as you start getting your toothbrush ready.

"Why? The shoes?"

"The shoes, the Loco Moco, the games, the ice cream cake." You laughed. "I literally got him a video game and some money."

"I mean, he is turning 18. I wanted to help make it as memorable as possible."

"I appreciate you a lot. Really."

"I appreciate you too." Your eyes widen as you brush your teeth.

"Waaaaow, say thaht wun mohr tiyme." You say, pulling a Jungkook while brushing your teeth.

"Eye apprushiate yoh toh." You giggle. The both of you finish getting ready for bed before slipping into his warm sheets. Jungkook never goes to sleep early, however, he makes sure all the lights are off and that the show he's watching isn't too loud. You have no idea what's going on in his show, but you lay on his chest to watch for a little bit until you feel yourself getting a little more sleepy. He's holding you close, his hand brushing through your hair softly, causing tingles to ripple through your body.

"Kook."

"Yes, baby?"

"You make me happy." You say sleepily as you hung him tighter. He smiles down at you, your eyes now shut close as you slowly start to drift into a deep sleep. He presses a light kiss against your head, fingers still in your hair.

"You make me happy too, sweetheart."

[ablednt]

Do you know anything about how plural/singlet dating works?

A little! We refuse to date singlets for the reason that I'm frontstuck and my internal/in system age is much younger than our bodies age and we very obviously need to put our body's age first meaning any singlet we could actually date has A Lot on me in terms of maturity and it'd be a huge power imbalance and just feel super icky also because I can barely connect with most singlets even platonically (i only have a few singlet friends, though I do cherish them)

But it's common for systems to date singlets of course so I've heard a little about it. Here's some things singlets need to know going into a relationship with a plural person or finding out their existing partner is plural

1) Unless you are explicitly told otherwise do NOT assume you are dating every system member. If your partner had flatmates IRL and you came to visit them in their apartment, would you flirt with their flatmates and act upset when they pointed out they aren't your partner and in fact barely know you? It's exactly like that.

2) Ask. ASK always ASK. No two systems are the same and only ONLY your partner can tell you what the systems boundaries are, how it all works, etc. For example one system might be median so while they are different people they share one overarching identity, in which case it may be alright to consider them one partner. Another system might have more clearly separated members and only feel comfortable with you dating more than one system member if you're polyamorous. There's a million things in between this so like holy shit just ask them about this stuff assume NOTHING.

3) Again unless specifically told the contrary, you need to be able to turn the flirting and romantic gestures off at a momemts notice. A lot of systems have children in them, a lot of systems have members who do not know you yet or don't feel comfortable being flirted with. It's fully possible for members to have different genders and orientation so for example a lesbian member may request that her host's boyfriend not flirt with her. Don't just assume that your partner is fronting if they haven't told you to assume that. Respect their boundaries on this or you're abusive and violating their consent. Full stop.

4) your biases and bigotry you're unlearning is NOT their problem it is yours. I do not care if switching scares you. I do not care if you feel insecure when your partner's system members treat you differently than your partner does. You can and should set healthy boundaries and make sure you feel respected in the relationship but at NO point does that look like guilt tripping them for their plural traits. Telling them not to switch or how to be plural in any way is ableist and dare I say toxic. It's your responsibility to unlearn your ableism not your partners responsibility to accommodate it.

5) in the case that you're polyamorous, unless told otherwise, do know that you have to actually take the time to get to know and flirt with each to member you want to date and properly confess and stuff. Again your partners headmates are not them do not ever just assume you are dating someone it's a huge red flag.

6) As a partner to the system (even if just one member) it's likely that a lot of system members will want to foster a (not inherently romantic!!) relationship with you. You might meet your partners in system parents or their child, their friends in system might want to be your friend, if they're polyamorous then they'll maybe have their own partners in system who will want to meet you and have that shared love of your partner etc. You are dating someone who shares their body with other people so you are going to need to be ready to have all kinds of relationships.

7) unless told otherwise it's extremely rude to find out someone else is fronting and telling them to go away because you want to talk to someone else instead. You don't have the like everyone equally but be fucking polite to the members that you aren't as close with too.

8) If they have fictives or factives don't treat it like a fetish or a chance to #meet your favorite character. They're human people deserving of your respect do not assume they'll be exactly how you imagine them and respect their boundaries and ability to consent.

There's a lot more I could say but I'll leave it at that for now cause I'm tired.