#But like it is what it is I'm not dwelling much on it for the most part.
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winniethewife · 2 days ago
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Winnie! I come to you humbly requesting a fic.
So imagine: Reader gets sent into the woods as sacrifice for the local cryptid. Cue Cryptid!Vessel looking at the terrified reader like 'fuck did they send in another virgin as sacrifice? urgh'
He tries to calm reader down and explain that whatever the townsfolk said is not accurate. 'I'm sure you're lovely but I don't really need a sacrifice. So let me tell you how this is gonna work'
Meanwhile idk reader is getting kinda into the idea of being sacrificed to Vessel because you know 👀
Ignite our dreams of starry skies
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(Creature!Vessel x Gn!Reader)
A/N: Thank you Fran for the ask that inspired this endeavor and for Beta reading this whole creature feature (Featuring the creature)! This has been a labor of love and I hope you all enjoy it!!
As Always if you want to hear me shout into the void about this band (And others) Please follow me over at @lyricallymelodic  
CW: Vessel is so sad, Wet cat/creature Vessel, Slight monster body horror, Angst
Disclaimer: All fan fic written by me for this fandom is based on a fictional depiction of the personas of the band members, no real people were perceived in the making of this fiction.  
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Part 1: Summer: True beauty lies on the blue horizon
Next Chapter
Words:1607
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They stood at the edge of the forest, dressed in the simple garb of the Sacrifice, a tradition going back hundreds of years in their village. In front of them was the forest, to the side the sea. No one was sure where the creature had come from. Some said that he had always dwelled in the forest, others said he had originally been an angel who betrayed his god and been cast down upon the earth cursed to remain in the forest forever. They had always guessed it was something in between, or something entirely different, but they hadn’t given it much thought. Now they stood in the clearing next to the cliffs and the sand dunes where they had once played as a child, never getting too close to the forest as their parents had warned.
But none of that mattered now. They were chosen as the Sacrifice by the Oracle to appease the creature of the forest. They took a deep breath, glancing one last time at the village behind them, the place they had grown up in, the place they had called home, where they will likely never return. Blinking away the tears in their eyes they began down the path into the forest. As the forest grew denser and the path less easy to navigate they knew they were likely reaching the meeting point. The late summer breeze blew by them, bringing the scents of the sea into the forest. Their gaze never left the way in front of them even as they felt the gaze of something entirely inhuman on them. They didn’t want to seem afraid, even though their heart was racing and tears flowed freely from their eyes. A twig snapped behind them and they froze as they heard a deep voice mutter something in a language unknown to them. The creature. It had to be. But why was the voice so…human?
“Are you lost? Or were you sent?” The voice asked, surprisingly softly, and even more shockingly in the native language of the village folk.
“I-I was sent.” They stuttered, still afraid to turn and look. The voice said something softly in that same odd language.
“I’m…Sorry, I don’t know why He keeps doing this.” The voice was remorseful, the tone of his words a mix of annoyance and sadness. The creature hesitated, almost like it was waiting for them to make the next move, which was unlike the tales that were told in the village, the stories of the manipulative and seductive creature of darkness that would leap at the opportunity for a sacrifice. The chance to dine on the flesh of a human was said to drive it wild. However that seemed far from the case.
“Who is doing what?” They asked carefully, taking a step to the side, considering their options: Turn and face the creature or run for their life. They wanted to know more before they decided what to do.
“Sleep, an ancient deity who I serve. He is the one who sends your Oracle visions.” The voice explained, slightly closer now. They felt an irresistible urge to look at the creature now, unsure if it was a feeling from within themselves or the silent call of the forest creature itself. They took a breath and looked upon the creature; their eyes widened in awe.
It was tall. He was tall? Six glowing eyes stared back at them, bright red irises in the center set of dark sclera, reminding them of drops of blood on the slate floor of their family home. The two vestigial eyes lacked a true iris but glowed eerily, like a lantern light shining through a curtain. His skin, as dark as the night, was covered in scars and dark red markings. Their eyes were particularly drawn to the scarring on his neck; each side had a set of three ridges, like that of the gills of an aquatic creature. He wore a hooded cloak and some trousers. Both seemed to be handmade, tattered and old. He tilted his head to the side as they examined him closely, trying to analyze their expression.
“You seem less afraid, now that you see me. That’s… atypical. ” The creature took a step closer, exposing more of himself to them: What they had thought to be branches of the tree above him were actually very large and beautiful antlers. A sun beam shone down on him, illuminating his face, and bringing into focus his features; intricate red markings over his cheeks and down his jaw. They recognized the bind rune drawn over his forehead and eyes. It was the same rune they had seen many times throughout their life, the symbol the Oracle used to reference the creature, whenever they made a sacrifice and completed a ritual in the name of the gods. They felt like they should be afraid, but the fear wasn’t there, they only felt a magnetic pull and a desire to understand.
“Were the others afraid?” they asked softly. The creature nodded.
“Terrified, they became increasingly so the longer they were in my presence.” He spoke softly, his voice was melodic and his accent unlike anything they had heard. They wanted to hear more.
“I see. Do you have a name?” They asked the first question that came to mind, something they wanted to know but felt ill-timed. Was there an order to the last conversation you ever expected to have?
“You… you want to know my name?” He looked surprised, had he ever been asked for his name? He couldn’t remember a time this had happened.
“My life is in your hands, it feels only right to know your name.” They spoke softly, but their words stung his ears. Despite their lack of fear they still assumed that he was going to hurt them. 
“I…my name is Vessel. Or at least that is what I have been called for a long time.” He hesitated. “Your life isn’t in danger, at least not by my hand. As I said before, I don’t understand why Sleep keeps telling your seer that I require a sacrifice of this or any nature. I have not desired such a thing.” He sounded annoyed, but his eyes were filled with immeasurable sorrow, his gaze leaving them for the first time since they had turned to look at him.
“Oh…what happened to the others then? They never returned to the village.” They asked with hesitant curiosity.
“The forest is treacherous and confusing to those who don’t know its secrets. I have never hurt anyone who entered the forest, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t die here.” His voice was tinged with regret. “I wanted to help them, maybe guide them home, but… it’s been a long time since any human has taken the time to speak with me.”
“How long is a long time?” they asked, unconsciously moving closer to him.
“Half a century at least.” Vessel guessed. It could have been longer; time wasn’t exactly something he thought about a lot. It felt irrelevant when you’ve been cursed to spend eternity unable to sleep, unable to die, unable to keep those who mean most to you. Vessel tried to shake the thoughts from his mind. It didn’t do any good to dwell on the past, or those he had left behind. “Do you wish for me to help you return to your home?”
“Wouldn’t that mean you’d be alone again?” They asked, showing an amount of concern that Vessel was not used to. Did they want to stay? Why would they want to stay?
“Yes, but I’m used to being alone.” He replied. He watched their face in fascination, the way they showed their emotions so plainly on their face. He wondered if his face still showed emotion, or had the mask he donned so long ago solidified his expression for life. They looked sad and concerned by what he said.
“But do you like being alone?’ They asked, tilting their head to the side slightly as they observed him, examining his face in the light, subtly moving closer to him, drawn to his presence in an unexplainable way. They wanted to stay closer, like an instinctual need to be near him. Vessel felt a familiar sense of dread in his chest. He couldn’t get attached again, he couldn’t deal with the loss again.
“You shouldn’t stay. It’s too dangerous.” He muttered looking away from them and focusing on something in the distance. He was sure that's all it would take to make them turn back. He had made it this long without a constant companion, surely he does not need someone now. He had long decided that he was meant to spend this lifetime alone. He focused on the treeline for a moment longer, giving them ample time to leave as they inevitably would. When he looked back he was genuinely surprised to see they had remained exactly where they had been before. They hadn’t run away, they hadn’t given up.
“You didn’t answer my question.” They stated simply. Vessel wondered if they meant the question that they had spoken out loud or the question they were really asking: Can I stay with you?  He sighed and mulled over the possibilities for a moment.
“A year…for one year you can stay. When next summer comes to an end I will show you how to return to your village and we will make a choice then.” He spoke in a low tone. He usually wasn’t one for making deals of any kind but he had to admit: He didn’t really like being alone.
~
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Taglist: @silvernight-m @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @stellasplendens @ierofrnkk
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yeonmuse · 2 days ago
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SYNOPSIS — Park Sunghoon doesn’t usually like involving himself with those at Chaconne academy, but when he finds out his little sister’s music teacher attends and she starts getting a little too close she forces him to let his guard down. Now he’s gotta juggle new people and new emotions entering his life and she’s got to face her past in order to hold tight to him and her future.
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ᥫ᭡ f!reader x Park Sunghoon ── 𝒢enre. Uni au. fluff, angst non idol enha. feats. ot7 [reqs are closed] ᝰ.ᐟ 𝓁ibrary 🎻
⍣ ೋ AUTHORS NOTES . Strong angst themes, slow burn but mostly fluff. I’m not sure where this idea had come from considering I have 4 unfinished series out right now but I wrote this in 4 days so lets fucking go i guess??? Includes Choi Yeonjun, Bae Jinyoung, Kim Sunwoo, Jung Wooyoung, Shen Ricky, Xu Jiaqi and Asaya Jurin. Wc is 4.1k
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | ENDING
Chaconne Academy was one of the many elitist schools in the district, your typical run of the mill prissy assholes that felt they were better than everyone else simply because they’d paid a higher price for their education. Those that attended had either been scouted and recruited by the board while anyone other than those that worked hard to get in, were born into nepotism. Born into the wealth of the school or simply owed favors by the dean and those on the board. Though where exactly did that leave you? You were the absolute opposite type of what the school had been looking for, though very talented and passionate when it came to music you werent exactly the vibrant type. You were fairly quiet, you’d only talked to those you absolutely had to, otherwise you’d be compelled to spill your guts once you truly got to know someone. You’d rarely liked to stand out amongst the crowd because truth be told you’d completely hated attention. Though when it came to writing and composing music or holding a mic in your hand that was where you absolutely shined. In high school you’d grab attention occasionally, many finding you pretty but almost immediately losing interest when they found that you rarely talked. You were never the type that liked to dwell in the spotlight.
You certainly weren't rich nor had you been scouted by anyone so how exactly had your father pulled enough strings to have gotten you into such a highly praised academy? You weren’t exactly sure nor had you cared because you had finally found yourself a group of people you knew would understand you amongst all, or at least you thought you had. The pictures and virtual tour had done no justice to the school itself, not only was it huge, but it was absolutely breathtaking, its outdated castle-like exterior contrasted to its much more modern interior. The visuals certainly lived up to the expectations that had been set by the school's reputation itself. Having been busy taking in your surroundings you found yourself quite distracted, maybe a little too distracted, seemingly unaware of the red haired man hurdling right towards you on his skateboard immediately knocking you off your feet.
“Shit, I'm sorry.’’ Scrambling to his feet he helps you up, holding onto your hand a little longer than he should have been , turning the already embarrassing encounter much more awkward than needed.
“I didn’t see you, I’m sorry. I didn’t hurt you or anything right”
“Aside from the embarrassment of being ran over and knocked down in the middle of the corridor completely fine, nothing hurt, nothings broken.’’ You reassure him, making him let out a relieved sigh.
“Actually now that I think about it I don’t think i’ve seen you here at all.’’
“That’s because i'm new.’’
“Ah I should have known, since there aren’t many of us here it’s easy to remember the faces of those that attend, and I know for a fact yours is one I wouldn’t have forgotten.’’ there's a flirtatious undertone to his words, making you look away which hadn’t gone unnoticed by him.
“I’m Yeonjun by the way.’’
“Yn’’
A silence lingers between the two of you momentarily after your self introductions, the silent streak only having been broken when Yeonjuns name is called from behind you, making his eyes finally redirect from you who stood in front of him to a group standing behind you.
Four other guys and two girls stood in the entranceway of the hallway, seemingly waiting for Yeonjun to Join them.
“One second.’’ His attention returns to you as he once again makes sure that you’re okay from the fall.Truth be told you were more embarrassed than anything and just grateful that no one had been there to witness the collision
“I’m fine, it looks like your friends are waiting for you and i’ve got to check in with the dean.’’
“Good luck with that, oh and let’s not tell her about our little collision, I don’t need another lecture from her about skating in the halls again.’’ he inquired, sheepishly scratching at the nape of his neck.
“Your secrets safe with me.’’
“I’ll see you around. Goodluck on your first day yeah?’’
“Thanks.’’ without another word he’d picked up his skateboard and gone to join the others, leaving you alone once again. It was then that you realized you’d completely missed the opportunity to ask him where the dean's office had been. Which meant you were now completely fucked and left with no chance of finding it without roaming the entire building. You’d roamed for what felt like an hour but had only been a mere ten minutes, eventually getting yourself lost.
“I should have asked him for directions.’’ a sigh slipped past your lips and you’re immediately startled as you hear someone speak up from behind you.
“Are you lost or something?’’
“Is it that obvious?’’
“Well the “i should have asked him for directions” and the fact that you’re in the guys dormitories which is restricted to the girls are kind of gave it away.’’ you mentally facepalm, taking a mental note of the information he’d just given you before turning to face the owner of the voice that had startled you only a moment ago.
“You must be the new girl Yeonjun told everyone about.’’
“Already? We only just met a few minutes ago?’’
“Word travels fast here, especially if Choi Yeonjun is the man given the information. So by now nearly half the school knows about you.’’
“Great.’’
“I’m assuming you’re looking for the dean's office then? And in that case you’re in the wrong building. This is building B, Building A is where the courses take place and where the dean's office is located, Building C are the girls dormitories.”
“Where are those exactly?’’ you felt bad for having to bombard him with so many questions though he on the other hand didn’t seem to mind.
“Luckily i’m on my way to soccer practice so I don’t mind showing you.’’
“Seriously? You really don’t mind?’’
“I’m headed that way anyways, what’s your name by the way Yeonjun conveniently forgot to pass on that information.’’
“Yn, it’s yn”
“Well welcome to Chaconne y/n i’m Sunwoo.’’
-
“There's no way you just let her walk past you like that? She’s been giving you the eyes for a month now.” jakes eyes trailed behind Kim Yuna like a cat following a laser beam. Kim Yuna had set her eyes on Sunghoon the moment he’d arrived at the school but as of recent she’d found herself growing more bold with her efforts. Subtle glances and greetings in the hallway had turned into not so subtle flirting, eye batting and seduction attempts, all of which Sunghoon paid no mind. Truth be told, aside from the very few people he’d been close to, he didn't care to get to know anyone else at the school. Not only was it pointless, but every single one of them were the same aside from a handful of people, all spoiled and spoon fed their entire lives, completely entitled. Sunghoon himself had also been well off, though he differed in the fact that he didn’t flaunt his money or use it as an excuse to treat people anyway he wanted. He’d treated them all the same, he simply didn’t care for any of them nor had he desired being close to any of them.
“I don’t know why you expected him to show any interest all of a sudden when he’s never given her the time of day no matter how many times Yunas attempted to flirt with him.’’ Jay interrupts, his focus solely on tuning his guitar in hand while Jake continues to whine in disbelief that Sunghoon had let such an opportunity pass him by.
Sunghoon on the other hand had paid him no mind. Glasses perched up on the bridge of his nose, fingers clicking away at his keyboard he’d chosen to simply ignore the latter. He’d grown used to Jake's whining and complaining by now, having known both him and Jake since middle school when their parents had all forced them to attend a shared event. They had all been thirteen at the time, each of them having bonded over dropping frogs in the punch bowl, every one of them having been scolded to the gods for ruining the entire event. They had all been friends ever since.
“He hasn’t given one girl a chance since we’ve gotten here, it’s scary. Wait or are you just not into girls- because you know if you’d rather a dude then that’s okay too.’’ Sunghoon, finally looking up from his computer gives Jake a stern look, one that blatantly read ‘what the hell is wrong with you’ But of course Jake simply ignored it.
“You know sometimes with you, I swear the stores are open but no one's shopping.” Jay retorts, making Jakes brows furrowed in confusion.
“Whatever the hell that means.’’
-
After what felt like an hour long talk with the dean you had settled into your dormitory. Since classes had already started that meant you’d not yet met your roommates but you were praying to every god known to man that they’d be someone you got along with. Today having been your first day arriving both you and the dean had set today’s priorities on you having gotten all moved in and used to the school. You on the other hand had found comfort in Sunwoo, and rather than get lost trying to find your way through the school all alone, you’d rather take your chances asking him to show you around. Until then that left you with nothing to do other than organize your room and job search. After two hours of room decorating and screaming Shinees entire discography at the top of your lungs, you’d eventually showered and sat yourself at the dining room table, scrolling through job after job until you eventually set your eyes on one that piqued your interest.
“Music teacher wanted.”
“We’re looking for someone to teach our youngest daughter about music. Recently she’s taken an interest in instruments we know nothing about. She’s also taken an interest in composing and note writing and we’re looking for an experienced professional, pay would be 200 dollars an hour.’’
Your eyes had nearly fallen from your face upon reading the price, 200 an hour simply to teach a kid music? They had to be either absolutely crazy or extremely wealthy. Either way you didn’t truly care because you’d apply with or without having known such information. Truth be told you’d never taught anyone professionally your entire life. The closest you’d gotten to teaching anyone was when you taught your little cousin how to play guitar hero at the age of eight.
You’d taught yourself to play nearly every instrument known to man, so how difficult could it be teaching someone else, let alone a child?
Your gaze snapped away from your laptop to the door as you heard it swing open and in came two girls yelling about where they should go out for dinner. As if finally seeming to have realized you had been sitting there they’d stopped dead in their tracks, one of them giving you a smile while the other stood rubbing her temples, you assumed it was due to the fact that the other had been screaming only mere seconds before.
“Oh you’re the girl Yeonjun was talking to earlier.’’ the girl that had been yelling moments ago, takes note as the other shuts the door behind them.
“I’m Jiaqi but you can call me jia, this is Jurin”
“Yn, nice to meet you.’’
“Jia the girl just got here, can you maybe not talk her ear off?’’
“I haven’t even said or asked anything yet?’’
“Yeah but I knew it was coming.’’
“Honestly I don’t mind, since we’re all gonna be sharing this space I don’t mind answering any questions you have.’’ you respond while closing your laptop, making jiaqis' nose scrunch up as she turns to Jurin.
“See rin, She doesn’t mind.” she retorts, an all knowing tone before turning her attention back to you
“We were just about to head out for lunch did you want to join us?’’
“Sure, just let me change into something less, homey.’’ you respond, glancing down at your outfit before standing from your seat at the table, earning a laugh from Jiaqi.
The rest of the day had gone by smoothly, you and the girls had taken the time out to get to know one another and you’d found out that you all had a few things in common. Similar music tastes, the same favorite ice cream flavor, you’d even find out that you and Jurin had attended the same middle school and just never crossed paths.
-
Sunghoon had arrived back home, happy to finally be back and get his much needed break from the classes and constant eyes on him. Even if it was a mere two days away he was grateful every time the weekend had come around, it meant no alarms and no agonizing drive from the campus and back. Though he could have made it far easier on himself and gotten a dorm, he'd rather take the drive back and forth from home to campus, rather than be forced to share a room with someone he knew he couldn’t bother getting to know.
“Oh good you’re here.’’ Sunghoons mom enters his room, poking her earring through her ear as she steps inside.
“Your father and I have to attend an emergency meeting, but Yoari’s new music teacher should be on her way soon, we left her instructions on the coffee table, and the money to pay her is in the safe, we told security to let her into the gate when she arrives just check up on her and your sister every now and then.’’
“You got her a teacher?’’
“Well yes, she wanted to learn music so we put up an ad two days ago.’’
“You hired a stranger to teach her when you could have gotten me or Jay?”
“You and Jay are not professionals sweetheart, and we’d rather you focus on your own classes and studies, we’ve been over this.’’
“So we’re just letting a stranger in the house and you haven’t even met them yet.’’ His mother opens his mouth to respond but their conversation is cut short when his father calls out, warning her that the two would be late which prompts her to give him a reassuring look and kiss on the forehead before leaving his room.
It wasn’t that Sunghoon didn’t like the idea of his little sister learning music, it was the simple fact that his parents hadn’t even bothered to get to know whoever it was they had hired. He loved his little sister more than anything, he’d been protective of her since the day she was born and he got to hold her in his arms for the first time. Of course he wanted to see his little sister happy and learning music but not with a absolute stranger when he or Jay were completely capable.
A ring at the door interrupts his thoughts and he assumes it's the unknown music teacher that his parents had hired. Making his way down the stairs, he finds that the door had already been open and his eight year old sister stood in the doorway across from who he assumed was the music teacher.
“Hi sweetheart, um where are your parents?’’
“Yoari what’d we tell you about opening the door for people you don’t know?’’ Sunghoon interrupts, taking his descend down the stairs and over to the door.
“But it’s just my teacher.’’
“Still you don’t know her.’’ Sunghoon eyes the girl watching as her lips pressed into a thin line while she observed the interaction between the two.
-
The tour of the house had been awkward to say the least, you’d been meeting the guy for the first time and you could already feel the atmosphere become tense. From the very moment you’d entered to the moment your tour around the home ended he’d been cold towards you. You hadn’t expected the guy to be overly nice but neither did you expect him to completely shut you out either. Before she could even think she’d spoken the words that sat at the edge of her brain from the moment she’d set eyes on him.
“You look really young for someone that has a kid” He’d immediately stopped reading the directions and gave her a look that made her wish the ground would swallow her whole.
“That’s because she’s my sister.’’ Oh? Now you have gone from wanting the ground to swallow you whole to wanting to completely disappear from the universe itself.
“Oh.’’ While you had been fighting back your embarrassment, Sunghoon who found your reaction amusing had been forcing back a laugh.
Your first practice had gone fairly well, today you’d been teaching Yoari one of the many instruments on her parents lists that she had been eager to play, the violin. Yoari had caught on quite fast, it made you realize how much children had advanced since when you were her age, it’d taken you an entire year to learn to play the violin and she’d caught on as if it had been something she’d been doing for her entire life.
“That was amazing Yoari, you read the notes pretty well so i’ll give you one of the songs and we can try and play that next, let’s see how far you can read and work on what you can’t.” as you placed the music in front of her the sound of your stomach growling cut through the silence like a knife. A giggle spills from the little girl's lips and you clear your throat, feeling embarrassed for the second time today.
“Maybe let’s take a short little break.’’
You left Yoari alone momentarily, making your way up the stairs and trying your best to remember where Sunghoon had told you his room had been when he’d given the tour. Eventually you stumbled across his door and knocked softly, receiving no response. After knocking again and earning not a peep you quietly turn the knob and push the door open. You found Sunghoon sitting at his window with headphones on and a notepad in hand. Now there you stood calling his name and flailing your arms around like an idiot trying to get his attention. Luckily he’d sensed your presence and caught sight of you out of the corner of his eye.
“Did you need something?’’ He finally acknowledges your presence, pulling his headphones off his ears and having them rest on his neck, allowing you to faintly hear the song he’d been listening to.
“You listen to wisp?’’ your eyes widened with disbelief, and for a moment Sunghoon's stoic expression contorted into one of disbelief.
“You know them?’’
“Well yeah i’ve got every song, even made my own hard copy on record of the latest album.’’
“A record? You still use those?’’ He responds, earning an eye roll and a scoff from you.
“Yes I do. And I'm not the only one by the way, vinyls are making a comeback.’’A smile ghosts on his face, yet it falls as fast as it appears. A silence lingered between the two of you for a moment and the only thing breaking it once again was the sound of your stomach.
“I was supposed to ask you about the kitchen, but.’’
“Your stomach beat you to it.’’ You didn’t even know what to say, you knew it was a natural thing but the fact that it had been so loud was agonizingly embarrassing. Without a word he stands from his spot at the window and makes his way towards the door, leaving you to follow.
-
Sunghoon wasn’t sure what made him decide to cook for you, he’d chalked it up to himself also being hungry and his sister also needing something to eat. He still didn’t fully trust you, after all he knew absolutely nothing about you other than you seemed to get embarrassed easily.
“so..do you play?’’
“What?’’
“The instruments, do you play? I’m only assuming since your parents already had the instruments here, the job didn’t require me bringing my own.’’ for a moment Sunghoon just sat there, his lips pressed into a thin line, he wasn’t exactly a talker and right now you seemed to be pushing those boundaries.
“He’s been playing since he was six.’’ His little sister includes herself in the conversation, perching herself up on the stool right in the middle of you and Sunghoon.
“Oh? So music just runs in this family?’’ you respond playfully looking over at Sunghoon who still seemed very much closed off to you.
“Mm no mom and dad hate it, they only let us play because they know it’s what we love to do.’’ the little girl continues, while Sunghoon just took the opportunity to continue eating, leaving you to eye him curiously. It was obvious that while Yoari liked you he still hadn’t fully warmed up to you yet.
“My mom hated music too, she’d say that all of it was just noise.’’ you don’t know why you suddenly felt the need to spill your guts to an eight year old girl and her brother who you weren’t even sure was listening but here you were.
“The only reason I was allowed to play growing up was because of my dad, he’d buy me all the latest cds and pay for my lessons, he’d work extra shifts just to pay for my first violin.”
“Your dad sounds cool!’’ Yoari responds enthusiastically, spaghetti sauce smeared on her face as she continues to eat while listening.
“Yeah he is, he gave up everything just to make sure that his only daughter didn’t give up on her dream even if that meant-���’ You paused realizing you’d dug a little too deep into the details of your own life. Leaving not only Yoari to look at you curiously but Sunghoon as well.
“Meant what?’’ Yoari asks curiously, her doe eyes staring straight up at you as she waits for you to finish your sentence.
“Even if it meant I get to teach someone as amazing, and talented as you Yoari.’’ you fake a smile, a smile that was enough to fool Yoari, but Sunghoon saw straight through it. He didn’t question it though, after all the two of you had only met today and it wasn’t his business to involve himself.
-
You’d eventually return to your dorm to find not only Jurin and Jiaqi but the others that had been waiting for Yeonjun on your first day. They had all sat in your living room screaming over what looked like a game of Uno.
“Oh yn you’re back.’’ Jurin was the first to realize you’d been back, making everyone's attention fall upon you.
“Hey, it’s my collision buddy.’’ Yeonjun greets you, making you cringe at the name.
“Collision buddy?’’
“Almost ran over her on my skateboard her first day.’’
“You idiot didn’t the dean tell you you’d be scrapping the gum off the desks if she caught you skating in the corridor again?’’
“Well it’s a good thing she didn’t catch me then isn’t it.’’
Jiaqi jogs over to you, locking her arm with yours. She takes you over to the group and introduces you. In addition to learning Jiaqi and Jurin you could finally put names to each face you’d learned, Aside from Yeonjun you’d found out their names were Wooyoung, Ricky, and Jinyoung. After having gotten to know each of them you’d clicked with all of them pretty well, or that was until yet another round of Uno began and all hell broke loose. That night ended with your newfound friends yelling over the game and eventually deciding it was best you all never played uno again.
On the other side of town Sunghoon sat quietly at the piano absentmindedly pressing his fingers against the keys. After the conversation in the kitchen and seeing how well you’d treated his sister he began to have second thoughts about you. Maybe he’d judged you too soon, maybe you were someone that would be good for his sister? He’d found himself thinking about you for the rest of the night, most of all he wondered what it was that you had really wanted to say when you had been talking to his sister. What you actually were going to let slip before you’d seem to catch yourself. For the first time he found himself interested in someone else other than himself, Jay, Jake or Yoari.
🔖 @jwonistic @bubblytaetae @pkjay @heesallure @planetmarlowe @dreeki @butterflywonz @lillotus17 @squiishymeow @river-demon-slayer @sol3chu @st4rryst4r @firstclassjaylee @right-person-wrong-time @riribelle @gaytron3000 @heesunghooney @i03jae @blackhairandbangs @sunooqvrlsx @addictedtohobi @enaile23 @ivyvioletcarson @kristynaaah @starbyeol1512 @tinyteezer @jkslvsnella
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droidsdoodles · 1 day ago
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In Defense of Eduardo
Before posting this, a new short was produced that features the fandom's least favorites, Eduardo and Mark! While enjoying the short time we had with them, my dissolved brain noticed something kind of interesting regarding Eduardo and his behavior. Now, this thread is just for headcanon/story-telling fun. If that's not your thing, then click off because it gets whacky. Pretty much I'm annoyed at how were given a character who is both complex and simple at the same time and the fandom doesn't see it.
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Alright, from the start! There always been a hazy line between eps, comics and shorts of what is and isn't canon. If you go off "comics aren't canon", then Eduardo and Laurel never dated (No. 195 Ex- Girlfriend) . Which is boring because that takes away a fun aspect to explore with him. Artist x Artist. Or his obsession behavior he has toward Edd (No. 164- Info). This leading to people hc his future self is a detective. So I'm just gonna say it. We don't care. Any material given can be used for hc/story telling. For me, The End happen. If they recon it, then this is all an AU. Back into the short. Its very brief short about Edd throwing away trash in his own Edd way of doing things. The neighbors (minus Jon) are shown observing Edd. Mark is observing alongside Eduardo, but Eduardo is where this gets interesting. Eduardo has some form of depression in Beyond Era. Over the loss of what we assume is Jon. Jon has not made a living appearance yet to this date (3/13/2025). It could be a stylized choice but I say, he not taking care of himself. His hair in other eras, had spikey volume to it.
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Now it's drawn downwards. Perhaps he not washing it as often so the build up of mats and oil. Another change are his eyes. Eduardo has always had darken eyebags. But now, they are really darker than before. Lack of sleep, racing thoughts, it all weighing him down. And this is from my own life with depression and anxiety, that I'm pulling examples from.
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That out of the way, he holding himself too. Once again, animation and style besides, were gonna add depth for fun. He could be self soothing, by holding his bicep. His facial expression is muted compare to Mark's high eyebrow arch. He looks tired, not really there to mock Edd. Cause he doesn't. Eduardo always says something, does something when Edd is messing around. But here, nothing. Instead, he shakes his head, grits his teeth, AND shuts his eyes. That's very odd if you aren't on the Eduardo is the most emotional man alive train like I am. I could make another thread all about how loud his mind and heart is to have a real-event ocd flashback. The stress line and gritting his teeth, you know he really wants to say something, but he has enough restraint now to hold it back and just rub his bicep and calm down.
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Edit: 4:40pm In Laurel's Comic with Eduardo, we see a depressed Eduardo. He might not know Laurel is dead (she too has not made a living appearance yet in Beyond) but we can see that he does not take breakups or death very well. He is ruminating. To repeating dwell or think about something in your past, trying to find answers, reason, anything about the event. This can be due to the sudden departure of Laurel, Eduardo wonders if he did something. If there was any signs she was leaving, not enjoying their relationship. Jon seems to know Eduardo does this as he tries to cheer him up in his own way.
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In the most recent comic of the two, Mark attempts to cheer him up, be it more physical to which Eduardo DOES NOT LIKE. It could be for various reasons: he scared he going to hurt Mark, he gonna drop him, that he messing with Eduardo or gay panic. Even that Mark is quite strong and he didn't expect that. But his friends are aware that Eduardo can get quite down on himself and do their best to kick start him back into gear. And this is just a few instances where we seen Eduardo like this. The first big ep, Beaster Bunny. I to this day, don't get how we can make multiple stories about the main 4 (Edd, Tom, Matt and Tord) with various things regarding mental health but don't show an ounce of that to the show current depressed character. Beaster Bunny involved a giant chocolate rabbit terrorizing the easter celebration. Eduardo and Mark show up mid-way. Mark saying "You see, isn't it nice to get out of the house? You can get some fresh air-". Do I need to say anymore? EDUARDO HAS NOT LEFT THE HOUSE IN GOD KNOWS HOW LONG. These are signs he is not feeling that great. He doesn't find joy in leaving his home or joy in events. As they're walking. He once again, holding his bicep. Closed off as he trying to possibly self-soothe, sulk? He doesn't even say anything at Mark line, not even a glance. The rabbit shows up, triggering Mark fear of rabbits who runs away. Eduardo is face to face with something that could kill him. What does he do?
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He attempts to go along with the nonsense but he can't even say a funny line. He then APLOGIZES TO THE RABBIT! Because he knows he suppose to act this way, that's what he always done. But his heart isn't there for it. He admits it so. Maybe it what he wanted to say to Mark but didn't want to hurt his friend's feelings. The rabbit not going to say anything either. He then turns and leaves.
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Once again WHAT ARE WE DOING!? WHY AREN'T WE LOOKING AT THIS. There is so much potential just from the few seconds we have of him so far. And I'm about to strike gold rn. I went back to The End part 2. To see where that egocentric man finally strikes out and the tower comes crashing down. When he holding Jon, he cries more, there more tears.
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And then look at his eyes. I never want to hear that he has no feelings FROM ANYONE. That man is going through all the stages of fear and grief. But it gets worse.
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Look at Eduardo's hand placement. One supported Jon's head, the other, cover the wound. I never caught this till today, but he could be applying pressure to the wound. He is trying to keep Jon's blood in his chest as a last ditch effort. When Jon lets out his last breath, he probably felt both his heartbeat stop and his chest stop rising. Signaling Jon had pass. His body pulls back and he just stares down at Jon. Eduardo's eyes tear up, he overwhelmed with emotion and he shuts his eyes and puts his bloody hand on Jon shoulder. You could see this motion as him pulling Jon's body close to HIS OWN CHEST. Probably because his HEART IS SHATTER. So why is it, that nobody wants to write him in future arcs. This man held a dying man, his friend, to his very last breath. Gave us the most emotional reaction to death in the show history. Crickets. He just the grumpy hispanic dude in the corner for yall. And I'm not done. The last part. The patreon Animatic of The End Part 2.
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There is a little reversal when Jon passes. Jon used the last of his strength to comfort Eduardo by holding his hand. Their hands just pass each other OR Eduardo pulled his hand back. Either way, that speaks volumes on the two friendship. The show depicted Eduardo as quite mean or bullyish to Jon. But Jon's last moments were to comfort his friend with a poorly timed joke AND to hold his hand right before he pass. Eduardo also visibly cried here. I mean, guys what the fuck.. Eduardo you can argue is currently going through a big character arc. He starts off as bullish and mean to the main 3 and his friend Jon. But PowerEdd shows, this is all a front. He was bullied first and something twisted in him, a trauma response to inflict that same pain onto others. When Edd apologized to him, that was enough for him to switch sides and help Edd. I've ranted about this in another thread if yall are interested. Closing things off, use Eduardo. USE EDUARDO! I feel its a disservice to him as a character not too. He really interesting once you review his behavior and see what makes him act in certain ways. His anger is a front that the fandom still is falling for. A mask, pull it back and you got something pretty compelling to work with in stories and art. Of course, with respect to those with mental illness, do your research so you aren't depicting outdated stereotypes. Tag serious stories or art with triggers if need be. I hope yall enjoy my ramblings. I'm more than happy to discuss Eduardo or the neighbors in general.
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ashblooddragons · 2 days ago
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My Heart, My Ruin (Chapter 10/?)
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Series Masterlist
I'm so sorry this took so long to get out! as some of you might know I have been having awful writers block but I'm hoping to fix that soon! much love!
Rhaellas pov
I lean against a balcony as I look down at Rhaena and Aegon. They look so happy together, it looks so easy, almost like breathing. 
So why can't I find that? I think when the stern face of my uncle flashes into my mind. No, I don't want him. I think but just as the thought comes does the wind pick up as if laughing at me and my obvious denial. 
Instead of dwelling on this I think about the Lord I will be meeting with. 
Lord Lyonal Baratheon. A handsome man with ice blue eyes and hair as black as night. He has a light dusting of facial hair that gives him a dangerous look about him. He is the definition of Tall, Dark, and Handsome, and yet he doesn't infect my mind with his smirk or laughter, he doesn't make me dream of his eyes or callused hands. 
No, that honor goes to the one person I don't want it to. 
I'm brought out of my thoughts by the sound of my sisters joyful laughter. I look down to see Aegon spinning her around before taking her face in his hands and kissing her like she is the air he breathes. 
I feel a pang of jealousy go through me. For it was always my dream for someone to kiss me like that, for someone to look at me the way Aegon looks at Rhaena. Like she is the most important thing in the world. 
“What's this Lord's name again?” I hear the gruff and tired voice of my Uncle behind me. 
It's no surprise he doesn't want to be here. And I don't blame him, I don't want him here either. And it boils down to one thing, every time I meet with a Lord he always seems to make it tense. He could be the kindest, sweetest, gentlest Lord and he would have a problem with them. In fact he said just last week that Lord Harold Florent was too gentle and wouldn't protect me. 
Just when I thought we could work our problems out he has to reject every single match.  
I wasn't even planning on marrying Lord Florent, but it's the fact he didn't even ask me and only told my Father he wasn't a good match that peeves me. 
“Lyonal, Lord Lyonal Baratheon. He is to be the future Lord of Storms End.” I respond in a cool and calculated tone. 
“He's a bit young if you ask me.” He responds with a scoff. 
I feel my shoulders tense at his words. Always an issue with a match. I think before looking at him over my shoulder. 
“He's nine and ten, only two years my senior. I would rather that than Lord Braken who was well into his forties. And besides, I enjoy his company, that has to count for something.” 
“And I said the age difference was a problem. Also you would've been his third wife, not exactly a good match. But so is marrying a man– no, a boy far too young to truly protect you.” 
I can't help the shiver that runs down my spine at his absolute tone. It is clear what he thinks of this match, but I find I don't exactly care what he thinks. 
“Says the man who was wed off at three and ten.” I respond in that cold tone I know will make any man tremble. 
I hear the way he freezes, how his breath picks up. So I turn to look at him with another cutting remark at the tip of my tongue when I notice the look in his eyes. 
He isn't here, not mentally at least. Did I go too far? I wonder, ready to apologize when the voice of my favorite sutor reaches my ears. 
“Sorry for my tardiness, my sister insisted I had to say goodbye to each of her stuffies.” 
I can't help but smile at the thought of this tall warrior bending down to say goodbye to a little stuffed animal just because his five nameday old sister insisted upon it. 
He will make a wonderful Father. I think before turning to him fully. 
“No need to apologize, I believe it is I who should. I did take Lady Viviane's dear older brother before she was ready to say goodbye.” 
He lets out a jovial laugh, he knows how fond I am of his little sister. If I'm honest she may be why I have entertained Lyonal for so long, other than his good looks of course. 
“I will make sure she knows it is your fault then. Perhaps she will bring her wraith upon you instead of me.” He jests with a charming wink as he reaches for my arm so we may begin our walk. 
“I assume she is not call ‘Little Storm’ by your Father for nothing?” I ask with a giggle and he quickly shakes his head violently. 
“That girl is like a tsunami when she is angry. No one is safe when she is angry.” 
I can't help but giggle at the way Lyonal shivers in mock fear. 
“Oh I'm sure.” I respond as we enter the gardens. 
I see many ladies walk past waving their fans and fluttering their eyes. And at first I think they are doing it to Lyonal, until I turn to watch them leave and see them eyeing my Uncle. 
I have to fight the red hot rage that fills me when he looks down at one and gives her a slight nod of the head with a charming smirk. 
“Princess?” I hear before quickly turning to find a concerned Lyonal staring at me. 
“I'm sorry my Lord, I could've sworn I saw a bee.” I say quickly in hopes he didn't notice my looks of jealousy.
Just what you need Rhaella, the one Lord you actually enjoy the company of watching you fume over your Uncle and some pretty Ladies. I think as I wipe away pretend dirt on my yellow silk dress. 
“No need to apologize, I find those insects quite unnerving as well. My uncle died from a bee sting and now I have quite the phobia of them.” He says eyeing where I was looking with wild eyes. 
“Oh I had no idea. I'm so sorry.” I say as I gently tap his chin so he looks at me again. “I believe the blasted beast went towards the violets. If you wish, we can bypass them.” I say trying to bring him calm after my fib brought him such fear. 
“Yes, I would quite like that.” He says looking down at me like I'm his gift from the Seven in this moment. 
I nod my head before walking down the longer path through the gardens. 
I hear him speaking, hear the way he excitedly chatters about…something. But I can't fight the way my brain focuses on the cool gaze of my Uncle upon me. I force myself not to look at him, force myself not to turn to him. But as we pass a fountain I get but a glimpse of the stare he is boring into me. And it sends shivers through me. 
Get yourself together Rhaella! Lyonal is kind, gentle, and a wondrous match. It would tie our families together once more. I chide myself but I can't help but still turn to any reflective surface to see if he is still looking at me. And without fail, he is. 
“Did you hear me Princess?” I hear from beside me and quickly turn to see my possible betrothed is looking at me with obvious concern. 
“I'm sorry, I was lost in my head. I read a wonderful book last evening and I find it is still stuck in my head.” I say not fully lying. For I had read a book last night, but I wouldn't say it was entertaining. It was a book on stitch work and how to sew beads into dresses. Not exactly a page turner. 
“Ah, what was it about?” He asks and I freeze trying to think of anything. 
“Oh you wouldn't enjoy it, it was a romance. I know it's silly of me.” I say and I worry that the look on his face means he doesn't approve. 
I go to speak but he turns to look at a rose bush. 
“Something so beautiful yet so dangerous. Just like my Darling star.” He says with a far away tone. 
I stop trying to figure out what he is trying to say. Does he have a lover back at Storms End? Will I have to worry about a mistress and her bastard children running around? All these flit through my mind as I force myself not to look at Maegor. 
He then turns to me, a mischievous grin plastered on his lips. “Starlight kiss my cheeks? Have you read it?” He asks and I feel a wave of relief flow through me. 
Thank the gods, I could already imagine the smirk on my Uncle's face if he actually has a mistress. 
“Uh…yes, I read it a year ago. It was a beautiful love story. Tragic but passionate.” I say remembering the story of a Maid and her Lord. Many thought the story scandalous but I find it is one of the stories that always draws me in over, and over again. 
He nods in agreement before reaching down and plucking a rose and holding it out to me. 
“for my Darling star.” He says and I can't help but giggle. 
“Why thank you my Dashing Lord.” I say gently taking it from him making sure to keep away from the thorns. 
It is at this moment that the thought of marrying him truly sets in. I find I wouldn't mind it, that I could fall in love with him. That I could be happy with him. That I would be fulfilled with him, have beautiful children and a lovely home with a husband who cares for me. 
But for some reason it isn't enough, why isn't it enough? He is all I could ever ask for and yet I stand next to him having to convince myself he is good enough for me. 
But instead of dwelling on the thoughts that have begun to plague me, I decide to smell the sweet seductive scent of the rose. 
“Does Meraxes enjoy anyone else's company besides yours?” He asks looking up at the sky where the obvious silhouette of my mount flies next to her coal black mate. 
“Not really, perhaps my sister Rhaena, or–” I start to say before quickly closing my lips the words or my Uncle on the tip of my tongue. 
“Or?” He asks trailing off as he eyes me cautiously. 
“Or no one, I was trying to think of anyone else.” I respond and swallow a scoff down when I hear a low chuckle behind us. 
Most likely laughing at my obvious lie. I think with a quick roll of my eyes. 
He hums nodding his head a look of curiosity across his features. 
“Does she enjoy rain?”
I feel the air in my lungs freeze at the question. For if he is asking this only on our fourth walk then surely he has plans to ask for my hand in marriage. And though I know I should be overjoyed by this fact, I find it feels more like a cold chill running through my veins. 
“I–” I start to say trying to find the right response when the deep and authoritative voice of my Uncle responds for me. 
“I'm afraid Princess Rhaella is needed now, this meeting has already gone past expected.” 
I don't even need to turn to know he has a scowl on his lips. And from the way Lyonal tenses when he turns to look at him I know the look is more than likely murderous. 
“Of course, my Prince. It was wonderful seeing you again Princess. I hope we can meet again soon.” He says bending down to lightly kiss my knuckles. 
“As do I.” I barely get out before my Uncle steps forward hurrying us along. 
I watch as Lyonal leaves in a rush, he looks back once before looking down in defeat and walking towards his family's chambers. 
Once he's out of my line of sight I quickly turn towards my Uncle who looks beyond bored. 
“What was that about? I have no other plans or duties today.” I demand but he only turns and walks away. 
“I asked you a question!” I scream following after him my hands clenched into tight fists. I feel my nails dig into my palms. I wouldn't be shocked if I have scabs by the end of the day. 
“I heard you, but I'm far too busy for such childish conversations. I already wasted time watching you and that boy. I have work to do.” He says and I barely catch the hint of anger in his tone. 
Is he jealous? I wonder before shaking the thought from my mind. No, I'm his niece, nothing more. I remind myself but for some reason the thought of him being jealous sends a thrill through me. 
“Oh how I'm so terribly sorry you were pulled away from your paper and ink.” I all but snarl back as he makes his way up the tower of Hand. 
But instead of giving me a response he only sighs deeply as if I'm annoying him. I watch as his shoulders tense and his breath quickens with anger. But I don't care. I've had enough of his games. 
“Talk to me! You said you would be there more. You said you were done avoiding us. But at dinner you never speak, that is if you can get your head out of your paperwork to even acknowledge your family.”
I watch as he enters his office. 
I freeze at the cold look in his gaze, it's one I've seen plenty of times. But it's never been directed towards me. I've hardly seen it even from afar, and now I understand why so many tremble when seeing it. 
But I won't give in, not now, not ever. 
“Fine, don't talk no one needs to hear your idiotic thoughts anyways.” I say turning around only for him to finally speak. 
“That boy isn't fit to marry you, I'll be speaking with your Father on finding a better match.” 
I feel a well of rage fill me, it's scorching flames going through my veins. I don't turn, I won't give him the satisfaction of seeing how his words affect me. 
“Without asking if I want to marry him? You forget yourself Uncle. You are only the Hand, you have no true say on my life. What my Father has given you so far has been of kindness, it can quickly be taken away.” 
The words don't sound like me, they don't even feel like they are coming from me. But I know they are, I know that if I looked in a mirror and spoke I would hear this voice as my lips moved. 
He brings our the worst in me, so why can't I just ignore him? I wonder before I start to walk out. 
“Is he really what you want Rhaella? Some little boy who could die in some idiotic dual over pride?” He asks and I swear there is a hint of a plea in his voice. But I quickly shake the thought away. 
“And what if he is? He is kind, a swordsman, from a regal and highly respected house, by the gods he's even the grandson of Grandsires best friend. And let's not forget how he's quite nice to look at. What else could I wish for? What else could I demand to have?” I ask finally turning in to face him again and I see the flicker of heartbreak in his eyes. 
He doesn't say anything for a long while. I stand their waiting, hoping, praying, he will say something, anything. But instead he only stand straight and starts walking towards me. 
“You could want for more Rhaella. For a man who could match that fire in you. A man who would defend you against all of court. A man who would let you fly whenever you wished.” 
“And you think Lyonal wouldn't give me that? That he couldn't satisfy me?” I ask watching the way his eyes roam my face, the way his gaze always seems to drift towards my lips. 
He lets out a deep chuckle as he shakes his head in disbelief. 
“Mērī nykeā zaldrīzes kostagon satisfy bona hen sȳz. Daor mirri startled velkrys.”
His words hit me like a punch to the gut. I feel all the air knock out of me as shock comes over me. 
Only a dragon can satisfy that of its kind. Not some startled stag. The words run through my mind over and over again. I try to find any other meaning besides what he implies. But there is none. 
“What nothing to say now?” He asks in that damned cocky tone of his. He knows he stunned me to silence, that I have no come back. And he's loving it. 
“I see no point in responding to your attempt to get a rise out of me. Truly it's childish of you Uncle.” 
I watch as his smirk is quickly wiped from his face. 
Good. I think with a smirk of my own rising. He always did need to be taught how to behave. 
But just as quickly as my triumphant grin comes does it fall away when he grabs my arm in a vice grip pulling me close so we are only a breath apart. 
“Meraxes would hate it there, and so would you.” He all but growls out. 
“And how do you know that?” I ask in turn not backing down. 
He scoffs as he searches my features as if committing them to memory. 
“You are a dragon Rhaella. You are not made to be caged, not made to be drowned by water and storms. And yet you will deny this fact about yourself if only to have a comfortable life with some boy who is still learning how to use his cock.” 
I push down my blush at his crude words. I've heard worse so why does this bother me so much? 
“And you think you could satisfy me? You think your cock is worth my time?” I demand with just as much venom in my voice as him. 
But the only response I get is three words before he does something I never imagined. 
“Seven hells Rhaella.” And with that I feel his hands hold my face gently in his hands before his lips slams down to mine. 
The kiss is searing, demanding, and all consuming. I gasp in shock and realize that was a mistake as his tongue quickly delves into the warmth of my mouth. 
I don't know when I started kissing back, nor do I let myself think of why I don't push him away instead reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me. 
I let out a quiet whimper when he gently bites my lower lip only to swipe his tongue over the teased area. 
“Gods Rhaella, how did I go this long without tasting you?” He asks before slowly kissing his way down my jaw and towards my neck. He leaves soft bites along the sensitive skin of my neck and I know it will be blue tinted by this evening. 
I don't respond, only grip him tighter trying to bring him closer to feel more of him. 
I hear the quiet whimpers and moans leave my lips with each scrap of teeth or teasing suck from his lips. I feel alive, like I can finally breathe as his hands grip my hips like a lifeline. 
I pull his hair guiding him towards my lips again and he is all too happy to oblige. 
I never knew a kiss could feel like this, that a man would ever kiss me like this. Like he is drowning and I am his only source of air. It's exhilarating, the idea that I have this power over a man like Maegor. That I could make him practically fall to his knees for me. 
But I'm quickly snapped back to reality, the one where I can never have him, that he is only my Uncle and that is all he can ever be. By the feeling of him slowly pulling the ties of my dress. 
No, I won't be ruined. I think before pushing him away with all the strength I can muster. 
We stare at each other, both out of breath and panting from our now swollen lips. 
“That will never happen again.” I demand not giving him a chance to respond as I turn and walk out of his office. “I'm going to marry Lyonal, and there is nothing you can do about it.” I say before slamming his doors shut. 
But for some reason I also feel like I shut the doors on a future where I would truly be happy.
TAGLIST: @sugutoad @ilikefelines @classicsimpforaaronwarner @themoonlitquill @technicallylegendaryenemy @thelastemzy @sachaa-ff @athzhowakar @baybaybear1 @mmogurl @talknerdytome5391
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cozzzynook · 2 days ago
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I'm in a hurt /comfort mood, so I bring some Earthspark Prowlbee.
Ever since Breakdown's betrayal Bumblebee wasn't sure what to do with himself. Between the mix of anger and hurt he couldn't quiet shake the feeling of love he still had for the mech and it was driving him crazy! Why couldn't he just move on and forget!? Letting out a sigh Bee just slumped further onto the desk hoping to wallow in his own self pity for a while.
"Still sulking over that glitch, are we?" Prowl spoke as he leaned against the wall with crossed arms.
"Yeah, pretty much..." Bee grumbled as he turned his helm to the side to look at Prowl. "You wouldn't happen to have any tips to get over an ex, do you?"
"None that Optimus would approve of" Prowl scoffed as he walked over before placing a comforting servo on Bee's shoulder. "But are you doing okay? I heard it was pretty serious..."
Flicking his door wings Bumblebee sat up before letting out a short sigh. "It was and now I feel stupid for thinking such a thing. I should seen it sooner, especially since he always called me 'brother' than sweet spark of all things"
"Wow" Prowl let out a short scoff "Brother zoned then betrayed all by the same mech, you really know how to pick them, Bee"
"Oh come on Prowler!" Standing to his pedes Bee turned to face the black and white mech fully. His door wings flared and twitched when he spotted the un bothered expression on the mech's face. "You of all bots should know what it feels like to be betrayed by someone you thought you'd loved!"
Letting out a sigh, Prowl only rolled his optics as he re crossed his arms. "That's true, but just between us" Taking a step closer Prowl allowed his field to reach out and brush along Bee's own field, sending small waves of lust. "I wouldn't treat you the same way like he did, little Bee"
Feeling his face grow warmer Bumblebee let out a soft confused chuckled. "W-What?" His spark spun a little faster the longer he gazed into Prowl's narrowed optics. "That's a bit flattering but I know I'm not your type"
"I mean it, Bumblebee" A soft but flirty smile found itself on the black and white mech's face.
"Oh"
Leaning a little closer Prowl allowed his field to surround Bee's until he was close enough to feel the yellow mech's hot vents on his face. "If you're still feeling unsure, I'm free later tonight. Maybe a little 'sparing match' might lighten your mood a little"
"Y-yeah that sounds great" Bee struggled to control his buzzing field as he felt his face grow hotter. "Would 9 be fine? I still have check on the Terrans"
"Sounds great" Having some mercy Prowl leaned away allowing Bumblebee to vent before he began to overheat. Flicking his own door wings he then turned on his heel ready to leave. "See you then, Little Bee~"
"Yeah, see you" Once prowl had left Bumblebee quickly turned to face the closest wall before pressing his helm against the cool metal, letting out a long flustered sigh. "Ooh Primus, what am I doing? This is stupid, I'm stupid!" Now really wasn't the time to be dwelling on past crushes or future possibilities, he still has worked to be done. Bee just had to make it through the rest of his shift hopefully his feelings will remain in check until then.
(*^▽^*)
Thiisssss has some kick to it and i’m so happy about it.
Prowl has been wanting to turn bee out for a while now and since Optimus is busy with Megs and Breakdown is out of the way he can have his fun.
Who knows. Maybe jazz joins in later *wink wink*
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overthinkit-underscore · 2 days ago
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She Won't Be A Problem [Don't take the blade.]
something noteworthy is that Cold genuinely believes the Princess is dead. they've slain her. he doubts that she's come back. in fact, looking at some of his dialogue along the Path and in the Cabin's entrance…
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Voice of the Cold - She won't be a problem. Voice of the Cold - Who cares if there's a mirror? Let's just go into the basement and find her body so we can be done with this.
…Cold doesn't really have a reason to think of taking the blade. he doesn't comment on it. and, really, if we're "just going down to find her body," we have no real reason to grab a weapon. unless we're planning on stabbing ourselves later, but it's not like we weren't able to open the door last time and see the void He shoved us into. so, Cold is neutral on the blade. we could take it, or not. for the purposes of this demonstration and arc, i'm not going to. She Won't Be A Problem.
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Voice of the Cold - It’s just like I told you— The Spectre - Why are you even here? Just making sure you finished the job or what?
we are "just making sure we finished the job." how observant of you, Spectre.
- (Explore) See, this is exactly what I was trying to tell you about in the woods. This already happened. We killed her. The Narrator - Yes, obviously things are… strange, right now. I think it’s safe to say you’ve seen something, something you shouldn’t have seen. Whatever worlds you’ve hopped between, whatever versions of me you’ve met, none of that matters now. There’s no changing what’s already happened. But you have a job to finish.
Voice of the Hero - Finish how?! We already did what you told us. And now she’s a ghost! The Narrator - There’s a perfectly pristine blade waiting for you upstairs. You could always use it to… Oh, I don’t know, slay her? Voice of the Cold - And then what? The Narrator - And then you’ll have saved the world.
Cold doesn't care about the Mirror or proving that it exists to the Narrator. he does care about commenting on the fact that he's right, the Princess is dead. "it's just like i told you-". this isn't just to be petty, it was his only real motivation in returning to the Cabin in the first place. to show the Narrator that we've finished up His busy work, so can He please go away now?
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Voice of the Hero - I think he’s asking about what happens after we save the world. If that’s even still an option. The Narrator - What do you mean, ‘after’? Voice of the Cold - You already know what we mean, don’t you? So why don’t you go ahead and tell us? Are you going to try and lock us away in a timeless void again? Because I didn’t much care for that. The Narrator - I’m not going to lock you anywhere. - (Explore) "After I killed you, this cabin… I want to say it teleported? It wasn't in the woods anymore, time stopped meaning anything and I had to kill myself to escape. The Spectre - You poor thing. That must have been so frightening for you. Voice of the Hero - You know, after everything we've been through, it's nice to see someone finally sympathizing with us. This whole thing's been an ordeal, hasn't it? Voice of the Cold - She doesn’t mean it. The Spectre - It sounds like you got exactly what you were owed.
Decider commenting on what happened after the Princess died to her 'cause, hey, we're on the train of thought anyway. it's only polite to share your thoughts with those who can't hear them.
- (Explore) "I guess I should tell you why I was sent to kill you. You were going to end the world." The Spectre - And, what? You just believed that? You killed me without giving it any thought? That's cold. Voice of the Hero - That's rich coming from her. Every time she touches us, it's like we freeze over. Voice of the Cold - She's right, though. But that's neither here nor there. What's done is done. What we do from this point forward is all that matters. Let's try not to let emotion get the better of us.
now, Cold is a very decision-focused guy. he doesn't dwell very much, if at all, on the past. (wonder where he got that from…)
"You did kill someone. Greater good or not, something would be very wrong with you if you didn’t feel at least a little bad. But it was for the greater good. One of these days, that will sink in and help ease your guilty conscience." something is wrong with Cold, Narrator. thank you for your observation probably has something to do with all the sensory deprivation of the Happy Ending. y'know, the one that lasts [ERROR: time has stopped meaning anything]
he's also rather emotionally repressed, which--
- (Explore) "I'm not cold! I'm just… dumb! I'm just a big dumb stupid idiot! Stupid stupid stupid what was I thinking just believing what I was told?" Voice of the Cold - Oh, cut it out. You don't need to be so pathetic. The Spectre - Nevermind. I don't think I want to see you beg. That's just sad. I shouldn't feel sad about my murderer. - (Explore) Shit. Everyone sounds disappointed in me. I should grovel even more. Voice of the Cold - No. You're not doing that. The Narrator - That's right, don't you dare grovel. Mine is the only opinion that matters and I'll never be disappointed in you. So long as you do as I say.
- (Explore) "Do you want me to die? Do you want me to kill myself to satisfy some sort of sick revenge fantasy? Because I already did that and it wouldn't be hard to do it again." Voice of the Hero - Are we putting this to a vote? Because personally, I'd prefer if we didn't die again… Voice of the Cold - If that's what it comes down to, that's what it comes down to. But I don't see the point of offing ourselves just yet. The Princess - Aw, that's sweet of you to offer, but killing yourself wouldn't help either of us. The Narrator - It would seem that everyone here is in agreement except for you. I shouldn't have to tell you that you shouldn't kill yourself. So please, try to keep your suicidal tendencies in check.
–-i don't need to provide receipts for, we all know he is, but they're nice to have.
anyway! back to the topic at hand. Cold likes making decisions, doing things, having new experiences. but he's also hardwired for violence. the first things we learn of the world are paths in woods and basements in cabins and about a Princess and the end of the world. the first action we ever learn exists is that of [Slaying], specifically [Slaying the Princess].
it is an inherent knowledge at the core of Cold's very being. we, and by extension him, Can Kill. so, when prompted for his thoughts on this situation, his first inclination is violence. naturally.
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Voice of the Cold - We could always try violence. It’s worked for us so far. Voice of the Hero - She's a ghost. Voice of the Cold - Who says ghosts are immune to violence? Voice of the Hero - … common sense? Voice of the Cold - There's nothing common or sensible about common sense. Action and observation are the only things that matter.
is it "the only language he speaks"? or is it the only language he was taught?
"action and observation are the only things that matter." all he has acted upon up until this point, all action he has seen, is acts of violence. all he has observed is violence and death.
speaking with Spectre prompts Cold to learn and philosophize on the little he knows, for the record. that's one of his major character traits: obnoxiously philosophical.
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some highlights of Cold's philosophy, to pick his brain even harder for just a moment:
Action and observation are the only things that matter. (agreement with Skeptic)
[specifically when faced with ghosts] Death---at least as a form of permanence---is just a concept, and clearly one that's now rendered useless.
Reality is what's in front of us, not our preconceptions of what it should be. (agreement with Skeptic AND Paranoid)
There doesn't need to be a static 'truth'. There doesn't need to be objectivity. (agreement with Paranoid)
Everything here [in the Construct] is impermanent, always shifting. The end of one thing only leads to the start of another. (agreement with Shifting Mound)
“Who cares what we are? We exist.” -> Labeling one's identity is a pointless endeavor. What matters is that you exist.
[pondering] Where does one world end and the next begin? Does the destruction of one lead to the creation of another, or is it the same world, reborn?
what you'll notice is that Cold is very focused on existence, being real, existing in the moment*. being present and awake and aware of the things around you and the impacts you may or may not have on them. there's no need to question who or what you are; you are, and that's what's most important to him. to exist. to be somewhere. to do something. he takes whatever is presented in front of him, works to accept it, and then internalizes what he's learned. * odd, then, that Hunted and Cold don’t get along, no? not too odd at all. the major sticking point is that Cold doesn't care for survival while Hunted does. Hunted is very risk-averse (he might even appreciate the Happy Ending because of the net safety it offers), whereas Cold will take anything as long as it's a raw experience. Hunted's "in the moment" is STAY ALERT. STAY ALIVE. whereas Cold's "in the moment" is Feel. Be. Act.
but just because violence is his first inclination doesn't mean he's tunnel-visioned into it*. he can be persuaded to try out different avenues of action. * if you do initially attack the Spectre, he does tunnel vision. it's clear that the Decider's intention was to Slay the Princess, and there have been complications that he needs to figure out how to address. but i can get into this more later.)
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Voice of the Hero - Fine. Then let me 'observe' that the 'acts' of killing her and killing ourself haven't got us much of anywhere. We're still back in this cabin, and we're still dealing with her, only now she has a good reason to hate us. Voice of the Cold - I suppose you have a point. Do you have any ideas, then?
Hero appeals to Cold's (mask of) pragmaticism, and it works.
Voice of the Hero - We could always ask her what she wants? Voice of the Cold - But those are the only options, aren't they? Violence, or doing what she wants. Or just leaving her down here. Though ignoring a problem is rarely a solution, isn't it? Voice of the Cold - That’d be dull, anyway. It’s more interesting if we make a choice. Voice of the Cold - She’s not in a position to bargain with us. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Voice of the Hero - We don't have to do anything, but maybe we should. We did kill her. Wouldn't it be the moral thing to help her now that we have another chance?
Cold is not convinced by "it would be the moral thing to help her". he doesn't do morals. but he does "do" "violence hasn't gotten us anywhere [besides the Good Ending, and that was terrible]. this is a new option for us; we’ve killed her, now we have a chance to help her."
he has no real drive towards violence. it's just the only language he knows to speak. and if offered something else, well…
frankly, i think Cold would immediately agree to possession. but taking those (Explore) options gives some more insight into Cold's thoughts on the matter, so we'll look into that. [i'm melting together both Cold and Soft Spectre dialogue here, just to overall get some insight on Cold. this isn't a Spectre analysis. as for their differences to Cold: Cold outwardly likes Cold!Spectre more, but has more agreeable conversations with Soft!Spectre.]
Voice of the Hero - Is she asking if she can… possess us? The Narrator - She is, and I hope I don't need to explain why you can't let that happen. It would be catastrophic if she managed to escape this place, and if you let her in, there is very little anyone could do to stop her. Voice of the Hero - Would she be able to see… us if we went along with it? Voice of the Cold - Now isn't that an interesting thought. We could finally bring her face- to face with Him. I wonder what she would have to say to the one who wants her dead so, so badly…
note that Cold uses "interesting" as a compliment. intrigue is an important emotion for him. (it's the opposite of boredom.) it's also clear indication that Cold does feel things, he just chooses, consciously or not, to ignore those feelings most of the time.
Voice of the Cold - It could very well be the best way to trap her for good. Doesn’t seem like it would be very easy to end the world from inside someone else’s body.
Cold is doing some suggestion here. he's already, immediately, in favor of possession. he's just making it sound more appealing to … well, the Decider, it must be. he doesn't care much for the Narrator's opinion. (but he'll never force them to do anything. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to.")
- (Explore) "This would just be temporary, right? You'll leave once we're out of the cabin?" The Spectre - Look, I don't want to be stuck with you any more than you want to be stuck with me. You're my murderer. All I see when I look into your eyes is the thing that ran at me with the point of a blade aimed for my heart. The Spectre - So… you're not exactly my first choice. But you're also my only choice. Voice of the Cold - It sounds to me like she'd be a lovely roommate.
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Voice of the Cold - What’s another voice rattling around in here? We’ll be fine.
noteworthy dialogue implying VoT Cold, at minimum, tolerates VoT Hero and doesn't consider the headspace too crowded.
Voice of the Hero - It's pretty crowded already, wouldn't you say? And she's not exactly friendly. Voice of the Cold - Neither is He. The Narrator - I'm being perfectly respectful considering the stakes of the situation! Don't push my good will.
Cold seems to think the Narrator counts as one of us, at least as a roommate. a voice in the head. he hasn't observed otherwise, beyond the pathos of the Narrator bossing them around, and Cold isn't moved much by pathos like that. he DOES want to slay Him very, very badly. but i've also wanted to kill my roommates at times, so… that's something he and Soft!Spectre have in common, actually!
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The Spectre - […] everything will be fine. The Narrator - Everything won’t be fine if you listen to her. Voice of the Cold - One way or another, this is all going to end. Wouldn’t it be nice if He ends with it? The Spectre - Wouldn’t that be nice? There’s only one way to find out.
anyway, we're naturally going to agree to a possession in this scenario. Hero's made a rather convincing argument. but, by leaving the blade upstairs, we're presented with one last chance to opt for violence… one final divergence point...
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The Narrator - I can't believe you're even entertaining her right now. I mean, just look at her, do you think she has good intentions for her 'murderer's body'? Of course she doesn't! - "Sounds great. Do it." [Let the Princess possess you.] The Spectre - You're really trying to make it up to me, aren't you? Thanks for being a pal, killer. I mean it. The Narrator - This body wasn't made to hold you and the Princess. If you want to renege on your cataclysmically terrible decision a minute ago, well, you're the only one who can make that happen. - (Explore) [Take the blade.] - [Trudge forward.]
... Let’s continue on our chosen path for the time being.
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Voice of the Cold - Was exhaustion the best you could muster up? It’s over. There’s no use stalling. Let’s see what happens next.
Cold has a habit of rushing the Narrator when something he likes is happening. or, more accurately, blocking interruptions.
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The Spectre - Nothing. He’s gone. And so is everything else. Voice of the Cold - So we did slay Him after all. He had it coming, I suppose.
note on VoT Cold’s dialogue: “i suppose” is not a dialogue particle indicating uncertainty, just a manner in which he tends to narrate his own dialogue. whenever he’s conversationally voicing his thoughts rather than acting in an advisory role, he tends to use “i suppose” to declare those thoughts.
it's a small victory, and the slightest, most subtle celebration between himself and the Princess. it is nice, isn't it? they talked about exactly this happening.
In this instance of events, Cold progresses from slayer to savior.
AN EMPIRE OF FRIGID NOTHING (SPECTRE)
"Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg?"
There are two major ways to interpret how Voice Hatching works:
The Voices Spawn. The manner in which the Decider behaves, the things they experience, and the trauma they endure influence the Voice hatched upon their death. Their personality, philosophy, and perspective are informed by what Quiet collectively has gone through. The Egg (previous iterations of the Decider) hatches into The Chicken (Voice).
The Voices Always Existed. The options provided to a player are reactions to their environment and circumstances, adulterated with the impulses and personality of nascent Voices waiting to hatch. The Chicken (Voice) lays The Egg (options the Decider picked in the previous Chapter).
There are more than two ways to interpret how Voices operate, and most you ask this question to will say something in-between these two black and white options. Ultimately, it's inarguable that a Voice is always influenced in some manner by events preceding their hatching. It is not that fact of influence the debate is centered on, but the interpretable extent. The fact is openly supported by the text.
Certain Voices will take credit for actions taken in the previous Chapter (ex: Cold claiming to have killed Damsel in Burned!Grey) or the previous life (ex: every Voice, bar Hero & Cheated, in Razor's Chapter IIIs), and many others will remember events long before they hatch (ex: Smitten recalling the entire narrative up to Chapter III - The Thorn, Cheated recalling everything that happens before Chapter III - The Wraith).
With this background information in mind, we can examine the events in Chapter I - The Hero and The Princess leading into Chapter II - The Spectre mindful of how specific choices made by the Decider or certain events they encounter may influence Voice of the Cold moving forward.
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[FOR CONTEXT: [Take the blade] once at the cabin, hereby accepting the Narrator's premise and following His word.] Voice of the Hero - She’s so coldly beautiful… is she really a threat to the world?
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The Narrator - You step forward, your grip tightening as you steel your resolve. The Narrator - You lunge forward without a moment’s hesitation. The Narrator - You feel flesh easily give way and look down to see your blade already sinking deep into her heart. Voice of the Hero - But is it over? Really over? - Of course it is. She’s dead.
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The Narrator - You did kill someone. Greater good or not, something would be very wrong with you if you didn’t feel at least a little bad. But it was for the greater good. One of these days, that will sink in and help ease your guilty conscience.
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The Narrator - You open the cabin door, ready to return to a world saved from certain doom.
The Narrator - Only, a world saved from certain doom isn’t what you find. Instead, what you find is nothing at all. Where a lush forest stood mere minutes ago, the only thing in front of you now is the vast emptiness of some place far away. Voice of the Hero - What… happened? The Narrator - Everyone is fine, it’s just that you and the cabin are now far away from them. Don’t worry. You’ll be safe here. This is good. Everyone is happy. You’ll be happy.
- I was kind of hoping I’d get a better ending for saving the world. The Narrator - This isn’t an ending. In fact, now that the Princess has been slain, endings are a thing of the past. No… this is the beginning of eternity. Your reward. The Narrator - This is what’s best for everyone. Trust me. The Narrator - Time passes. You can’t be sure if it’s days, or months, or years or even decades. It’s all a wonderful, boring blur. You’ve never been happier.
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Voice of the Hero - Pst! Hey! We’re not just going to stay here forever right? Voice of the Hero - Are we really happy, or is He just telling us that we are? - Hmm, okay maybe I’m not happy. And I’m not just saying that because you’re the last person I talked to. Voice of the Hero - Good, because I have an idea to get us out of here. Though you’re probably not going to like it. Voice of the Hero - The blade. We can use the blade to get out of this.
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The Narrator - Do you hear that? It wants to take this happiness away from you. It wants this wonderful place to end. Voice of the Hero - Do you not? There’s more for us to do, and the only way for us to do it is to take that blade and use it. The Narrator - Don’t you dare. - Anything to get out of this hell. Voice of the Hero - Thank you. The Narrator - I made this happy little place for you! Is this not a good enough reward for saving the world? An eternity of bliss? You… you ingrate! The Narrator - Fine. Whatever. For the first time since time stopped meaning anything, you throw open the door to the basement and walk down the stairs. The Narrator - You pick up the blade, you stab yourself, and you die. The Narrator - The end. Nice knowing you.
a set of directions from the Narrator, dutifully carried out by the Decider without the slightest hint of doubt, ignoring their conscience until faced with an utterly detestable "reward" for their compliance. critically, the timelessness perceived in that moment between opening the door to stare into the abyss and slaying oneself to be rid of the stagnation is so dilated in Quiet's perception that the Princess's corpse is reduced to a skeleton by the time the Decider plucks the Pristine Blade from its ribcage.
i could commentate further on this, or i could include one particularly noteworthy dialogue screenshot ---
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- (Explore) Wouldn’t ‘using’ the blade… you know, kill us? Wouldn’t we be dead? The Narrator - How astute. You’re absolutely correct. Using the blade to kill yourself would kill you and you shouldn’t do it. Voice of the Hero - In a sense, we’d die, but looking at things from another angle, are we even really alive anymore? This place… it’s nothing! It’s absolutely nothing. It’s just the same thing, constantly, forever. Voice of the Hero - I know this is out there, but trust me. I know using the blade will work.
--- and let Cold speak for himself on the matter:
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[FOR CONTEXT: in response to the Narrator saying we're only here because we died, which probably only happened because we didn't listen to Him] Voice of the Cold - Oh, we listened to you plenty. We slew the Princess, just like you asked us to. And then you locked us away in an empty void for eternity. So we slew ourselves, too.
[FOR CONTEXT: in response to the Narrator asking what would've happened to the world we left behind had we failed to slay the Princess] Voice of the Cold - It doesn’t matter, because we didn’t fail to slay her, and if she’s really back, which I doubt, it’ll be just as easy to do it again. But after that nasty trick you pulled on us, maybe she’s not the only one around here in need of slaying.
[FOR CONTEXT: in the cabin with Spectre, talking to the Narrator about the ghost-Princess after having talked to Him previously in the woods about the looping] The Narrator - What do you mean, ‘after’? Voice of the Cold - You already know what we mean, don’t you? So why don’t you go ahead and tell us? Are you going to try and lock us away in a timeless void again? Because I didn’t much care for that. The Narrator - I’m not going to lock you anywhere. Voice of the Cold - What an interesting choice of emphasis.
- (Explore) If anything, the world ended after I slew her. When I tried to leave, everything was gone. Voice of the Hero - That’s a good point. How do we know we didn’t have things backwards? Maybe slaying the Princess was what ended the world, not the other way around. Voice of the Cold - Yes, maybe this whole thing was a trick to get us to end the world. And now we get to go through the whole charade again wholly aware of what’s waiting for us at the end. Voice of the Cold - But that’s assuming she’s alive in that cabin. We did kill her, after all.
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Voice of the Cold - This is boring. He’s clearly not interested in talking, so let’s just do as He says and maybe He’ll stop bothering us.
Cold is interesting because, as I'll point out later (both in this analysis and whenever i seek out Cold's other appearances), you need to read between the lines and in the negative spaces quite often to gauge what he's thinking. here, though, back in the woods again, Cold's an open book. "we listened to you and you locked us in an empty void for eternity. i really didn't care for that. it was a 'nasty trick.' we slew ourselves." note that Cold isn't expressing regret or remorse for anything that happened. he doesn't feel guilty about [Slaying the Princess], and he's outright convinced we're capable of doing it again. note twice, though, that Cold doesn't think we need to. he's fully convinced that her death sticks, even if ours didn't. he isn't readying up, either. it's just a job to him. (Something he was asked to do. a task, some dirty work. he holds no real opinion on the act of [Slaying the Princess], not here, and not now.) A job that, as he's seen, has no good rewards. In fact, the end result of completing this task is not something he wants at all. But he also really, really, really wants the Narrator to shut up, and trying to talk to Him isn't getting anything done.
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binomech · 2 months ago
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some opinions on fanfic trends for Disco Elysium on AO3 for the past 2-ish years; i address racism, ableism, jean and kim tropes, accesorization of harry and the way the game themes appear to have warped.
some of you may know i've been reading every fic published on the disco AO3 tag chronologically since 2019 for a little over a year and jotting down some trends (not a proper statistical study, just some tracking of when certain tropes are introduced and when and how they reproduce because i like observing that kind of thing.) there's been an uptick in trans(masc) Kim and Jean character studies since late 2022-early 2023, among many others, but these ones were like overwhelmingly prolific once they were introduced.
harry, kim and jean are overwhelmingly the characters with most fanworks in the tag. and having read a little over 4k works it turns out that people engage in a very distinct way with them for the most part that tracks with the growth of the trans Kim and Jean character studies as a trend.
the disco elysium fandom's english-language writers are, according to my cursory snooping, overwhelmingly trans, some flavor of gay, white and from north america and western europe. given personal anecdotes, i also suspect they are upper middle class (though not as statistically huge as the previous things) and struggle with mental health. in the past decade or so a lot of fanworks have followed a trend of exploration focused on catharsis and personal relatability.
now, kim and harry appear so much in the text with so much detail that there's plenty of personal details to pull from to write them, where as jean's total presence in the game (rarely achieved in one run but i'm taking into account all his mentions and lines) is smaller so it follows that people need to fill in some gaps and there's more characterization freedom. jean is white, younger than both harry and kim, canonically depressed, non-canonically confirmed by his character player an amphetamine addict but presented as a functional person during the game, and covers a very specific narrative hinge that i understand as relevant: he's a bridge between pre-Martinaise Harry and his Martinaise self.
he's objectively a very comfortable character to play with because he's mostly a blank slate except for his relation to Harry and his vitriolic grief towards him. so logistically i understand why people who struggle with mental health, are white, are anywhere between 17 and 35, are functional and able-bodied and may or may not have a complicated relationship with a close person who struggles with addiction or other health issues might go "YES, GOOD CATHARSIS NARRATIVE FOR ME". but the sheer amount of works that value Relatability over engaging with the characters or the themes has resulted in a very strong ripple. which leads to trans kim.
the game paints a deep and vivid image of kim, both from within harry's own perspectives and the objective things he says out loud. he's a walking contradiction, he's alienated from his body and selfhood, he beat himself into submission to stay alive. he's a walking reminder of his assasinated communist parents, the people who killed them paid his salary, his body (racialized, disabled) is both a hindrance to his assimilation and a tangible proof that he could have belonged somewhere but doesn't, that no matter what he does it will be considered first. so he watches his words, his movements, his appearance. so he partakes in hypermasculinity. he's canonically gay, mixed race, diasporic seolite, and disabled. and somehow, the only one of this that is recurringly explored in most fanworks is his homosexuality, usually in the form of being a guiding figure to harry or as a Fellow Gay Cop to jean, or eyes, or someone else.
now, we have the trans kim trope. my opinion on the trope isn't relevant to the point i'm trying to make, but i will say i think transmasc kim is something i enjoy in theory, i think it's a worthy exploration that works very well with the hauntings of embodiment and perception that exist in kim's canon self. but it's very jarring when all of these tales of gay trans kim refuse to engage with race, or with physical disability. like, after you've read 800 trans kim fics you start noticing how solid that avoidance is, how big the elephant in the room is, and i can't help but think that, coupled with the explorations of Jean, the issue is: the white ablebodied writer is unwilling to engage with race and disability.
my charitable reading of this is that the white ablebodied writer doesn't want to write about what they don't know, they don't want to overstep. my neutral reading of this is that the white ablebodied writer doesn't consider how sexuality and gender's material realities are tied to race and ablebodiedness in the real world because they are the Default Categories and it didn't occur to them that kim's experience of them might overlap. my least charitable reading of this without directly falling into the assumption of ill intent is that the white ablebodied writer is uncomfortable with the idea of the fact that their experience of gender and sexuality isn't universal and it's not as emotionally cathartic to think about how they might be racist and ableist because they put on horse blinders and they're trying to write things they like, and understanding this is unpleasant and doesn't belong in their feel-good hobbies.
people love to talk about kim's body without acknowledging the way asian masculinity and femininity exist in relation to whiteness when it's harry or jean in the room. people love to talk about kim's body without engaging with the power relations that exist in many disabled people's sexuality.
the tropes' strength lies in the relatability factor (very high) and the willingness of both author and audience to engage with the canon material for the characters they are writing (very low). and so you end up with a lot of jean character studies about his feelings towards harry (when everyone but kim in the game also knows both harries, but jean is prioritized consistently) and a lot of character studies about kim (that ignore most of the lived experiences of him because they're directly tied to his and his parents' race and alienation that are not particularly cathartic for the white author and reader)
one of the big themes of the game, if not the biggest, is failure. specifically it asks the player to think about what to do when you have failed and you know there are no blank slates, and asks you to empathize not only with harry, whose every thought you're privy to, but to everyone you talk to that has the same rich landscape beyond your brief interaction. when relatability is prioritized in fanworks, this question falls apart, the purpose becomes to find ways in which these characters are like you (the author, the reader) so you can afford them the level of humanity needed to feel emotions about them.
harry's tropification follows four large trends: self-loathing, aggressive addict, psychic omniscient prophet, overwhelmingly emotional and adoring puppy. some authors sometimes are capable of depicting both, usually as if they are unrelated and it's a harry-esque contradiction, but it's truly baffling how rare it is to find stories that engage with all of them or with multiple of them as inextricably bound together like canon material does. harry needs to be relatably lovable (heartbroken, self-loathing, fixable by love, fixable by the universe, capable of change that gets exponentially better) or relatably hateable (physically and emotionally abusive, manipulative, unreasonably needy).
most fics in the relatable lovability fall on the kim/harry ship, most fics in the relatable hateability fall on the jean/harry ship. here's where it ties into the big tropes for kim and jean: the fanworks about a game that asks a question about failure and questioning certainty become stories about inevitability.
jean's vitriol in the game comes from the same place as harry's self loathing: a visceral response to decades of failure. they're not objective truths (i'm thinking about the mirror reveal being intended as a way to make the viewer realize harry isn't a reliable narrator at all, but especially about himself: you see a regular guy, conventionally handsome but clearly in pain and growing old and sick. he calls himself horrible shit, however).
playing up jean's part as the Bridge is comfortable because it allows the player to separate Harry's failures from their agency as a player (something that greatly drives the point of the game home, emotionally speaking -- you're not that different from Harry. Harry's not that different from anyone else he meets. the irreversible failures exist for all of us, as do the chances to try again.) if jean is right in resenting harry, and moreover, he's objectively describing harry's behavior, harry's failures become logical and inevitable consequences of his Way of Being. if Harry calls kim a slur, or threatens children, or scares civilians, that's just because that's how Harry is (according to Jean and Harry's own brain), so the possibility that one of your tries might be meaningfully good becomes... less weighty. it's a fluke, and you'll fail again, so don't get your hopes up. it's almost an excuse to believe that there's nothing new under the sun and going back to old habits is inevitable, but the conclusion becomes "so nothing i do really matters" instead of "it's hard and painful to try again when you've failed so many times before. what does this say about the person who tries?". and in that way jean is an interesting character because understanding why he resents harry for being able to try more freely than him without the weight of memory is important to the theme. what has to click to start climbing out of the grave? can anyone do it? will i ever do it? why now, and why not when i tried to pull him out?
and similarly, when we write about kim, we have to confront what makes him who he is and not another generic character to write, and the fact of the matter is that being a cop, being visibly of seolite heritage, having PTSD, having a visual impairment on record that interferes with his cophood, his cophood being the only identity he appears to have had a choice over, how he treats harry because he's a cop vs. other harry parallels who aren't, how he treats harry whether harry respects him or not... they're important. and trans kim could be a way to approach these themes but it's currently existing in a vacuum of authorial catharsis, and the refusal to address the real politics that give emotional weight to disco elysium is becoming a worrying, overwhelming trend. i urge you all to think about these things a little.
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thewardenisonthecase · 4 months ago
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btw tw for talking about abuse
I've seen a lot online about how the game never mentions Caterina's abuse of Lucanis while he was growing up (being beaten and starved, which is mentioned in the Wigmaker Job) and I think there's a small mention to it if you're a crow (when asked, he says it was torture training under the first talon and that he resented her for a long time)
And while I do think part of the reason why this isn't brought up is just due to how sanitized this game is when it comes to the crows, I think I do understand why in world wise it's not possible to just be like hey lucanis, fuck your grandma.
It's really hard, loving someone who hurts you. Because you know they're hurting you and yet, you still love them. It's even harder when they're family.
Because its not like Lucanis doesn't know that she hurt him. He says so himself - he hated her, he resented her, and althought I do think him 'justifying' it by saying that at least it prepared him for the life of a crow, at least he still admits that it happened.
But the thing is that despite all this shit, she's still his grandmother. And like, yes, blood shouldn't excuse justifing this behaviour, I feel like it's cultural. Idk how spain or italy works when it comes to family, but here in brazil, you'll hear so many stories of physical abuse happening in families, and its still a situation like Lucanis - i hate them, i resent them, i love them, they're my family.
It's a...complicated situation and I think Lucanis's situation is made worst by the fact that he only has two family members alive and that he cannot let go of.
She beat him, she starved him, he hated and resented her, and he was afraid of dissapointing her, even if in her eyes, i don't think he could. I mean, he comes back an abomination and she still tenderly says 'my poor boy' when you rescue her in the Villa.
All in all...it's tought and I think that it would not be Rook's place to suddenly make Lucanis want to kill his grandma bc he wouldn't. Sorting out those feelings is something he has to do himself, and i'l almost glad the game doesn't make rook do a therapy session with him to talk about it.
#its complicated ok#i've just been thinking a lot about this#bc of my relationship with my mom#and coming to terms that i may be experiencing verbal abuse from her#and the very complex feelings i have in regards to her#so i kinda understand where lucanis comes from?#and why its not adressed in game#this is something lucanis has already come to terms with#there's not a lot you can do about it#maybe after caterina died he would think about it#but its not something that can just be 'solved'#in fact i think if caterina straight up died it would be worst#at least with her alive he could have some time to like fucking properly deal with these feelings#idk i'm not defending caterina#i'm just saying its complicated#idk i just see some posts about 'making lucanis realize all the shit caterina did and go kill her'#and i'm like idk if that would do anything for him#btw don't come for me this is a complicated topic and i did my best to express myself in the wretched language that is english#and when i talk about the cultural part#its bc more than once here you'll have people “brush off” that their parents did those things to them#bc its like...'its been so long and its made into the person i am today and there's not much point in dwelling on it'#it may not be the healthiest thing ever#but sometimes its what you have#sometimes you can't think about it too much if you just want to get on with your day#sometimes its does it even fucking matter its so in the past now#anyways#tw talk of abuse#again DON'T COME FOR ME#lucanis dellamorte
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jessenitrogen · 1 month ago
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Anon ask because I'm afraid of you. - Whats your favorite (non-akiridion) alien species in 3below?
my favorite non-skiridion alien species would be Voltarians! giant lizards that travels through electrical circuits, shoots electricity and THRIVES off electricity? That's cool as shit they could never make me hate you Tronos Madu
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yeah couldnt help throwing diov into the mix sorry
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yeonmuse · 1 day ago
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SYNOPSIS — Park Sunghoon doesn’t usually like involving himself with those at Chaconne academy, but when he finds out his little sister’s music teacher attends and she starts getting a little too close she forces him to let his guard down. Now he’s gotta juggle new people and new emotions entering his life and she’s got to face her past in order to hold tight to him and her future.
ᥫ᭡ f!reader x Park Sunghoon ── 𝒢enre. Uni au. fluff, angst non idol enha. feats. ot7 [reqs are closed] ᝰ.ᐟ 𝓁ibrary 🎻
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⍣ ೋ AUTHORS NOTES . Strong angst themes, slow burn but mostly fluff. I’m not sure where this idea had come from considering I have 4 unfinished series out right now but I wrote this in 4 days so lets fucking go i guess??? Includes Choi Yeonjun, Bae Jinyoung, Kim Sunwoo, Jung Wooyoung, Shen Ricky, Xu Jiaqi and Asaya Jurin. Wc is 4.1k
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | ENDING
After what felt like the longest weekend ever you’d finally be starting your official first day. It had been nice getting to know Jurinand the others but now it was time to actually get to work, you were sure your father had worked hard to get you into the school and you wouldn't waste the opportunity. While you were making your way down campus, heading towards building A you tried your best to follow the steps you’d previously taken with Sunwoo. You had eventually made it to the entrance when the man himself had also been entering the building the same time as you.
“Well look at you made it all the way here without me i'm impressed.” he teases
“Yes yes, once I finally seemed to learned that it’s literally just a straight shoot from the girls dorms.’’ you being annoyed at yourself for finally having come to that obvious realization earns a laugh from him.
“Well after you then.’’ He opens the door allowing you to slip inside, you’d found that you both had been heading in the same direction so it only made sense that the two of you would walk together. You’d been completely invested in the conversion, so invested you failed to recognize the person blocking your path in the hall. Before you knew it your body collided with a broad back sending you straight to your ass, though some people did choose to mind their business and just pass up the two of you in the hall a few onlookers observed the scene.
‘Fuck this is so embarrasing.’ you thought to yourself as you looked up to apologize to the person you’d bumped into only moments ago, your eyes widened as they landed on none other than Park Sunghoon, the guy you'd met only yesterday. As Sunwoo helped you up you stood up dusting your clothes. At first you said nothing but neither did Sunghoon, you’d been too busy struggling to find the words to say. Sunghoon on the other hand, as shocked as he was to see you, just chose to remain as stoic as ever. Last night he’d told himself that maybe you weren’t so bad, that maybe you were someone good for his sister ( maybe also good for him) but seeing you here at this school of all places he was starting to think he was wrong.
“I’m sor-” before the words could properly leave your mouth both him and his friends had already walked away, leaving you standing in the middle of the hall watching him leave like an idiot.
“Well you met Sunghoon. I wouldn’t dwell on what happened just now too much, he acts like an ass with everyone here.”
But dwell you did, you spent the entire day thinking about the interaction. Did you say something wrong friday night? Or maybe it was that he didn’t remember you? You’d spent the entire day thinking about what you could have possibly done wrong for him to just completely ignore you and walk away.
Eventually the time came for your next lesson with Yoari and she’d been excited to see you, her brother on the hand not so much. You’d greeted him as you caught him walking up the stairs when you entered the house. A greeting he had simply chosen to ignore which made you slightly disappointed.
“I want to show you what I practiced.’’ Yoari instantly takes your hand into her own and drags you to the scene room where the two of you had practiced days prior. Yoari had practiced so much over the weekend while you were gone she had been more than excited to show off everything she learned from you. You found it endearing, not only did she learn fast but it was obvious that she had a passion for music, it reminded you a lot of yourself when you were younger. Taking a momentary pause as you spotted Sunghoon making his way into the kitchen, you allowed Yoari to take a short break, pushing yourself up from your seat and you decided to join him in the kitchen. When you’d stepped in and opened your mouth to speak you realized you hadn’t exactly thought through what it was you wanted to say to him, so you simply stood there in silence until he decided to break it himself.
“Shouldn’t you be with Yoari?’’
“Well yea but I just- I didn’t know that you went to Chaconne..? Earlier I didn’t mean to-”
“You should get back to my sister. My parents pay you to teach her not to talk to me.’’ and with those words he left you standing there.
That night you went home feeling worse than when you had arrived there. You weren't sure what you had done to piss off Sunghoon but it bothered you nonetheless.
Eventually Jurinand Jiaqi joined you where you sat in the living room with a pout on your face and bowl of ramen in hand.
“What’s got you so pouty?’’ Jurin questions as she takes a seat next to Jiaqi, flattening out the face mask on her face before taking a handful of Jiaqis popcorn.
“Do you guys know Sunghoon?’’
“Uh as in Park? Sunghoon Park?’’
“Yes? I teach his little sister music and I thought that he was warming up to me a little before I left their house Friday, but today we bumped into each other in the hall and he just completely ignored me like he didn’t even recognize me. Then today when I went over for Yoaris lesson he just completely shut me down.’’
“Oh honey, he’s like that with everyone. You’re no different than anyone else on this campus he completely ignores.” Jurin responds before stuffing her mouth with popcorn.
“What do you mean?’’
“Other than Jake and Jay he doesn’t talk to anyone, no matter who flirts, no matter how many party invites he gets he doesn't accept. He’s been like that since he came to the school. Don’t know if he’s one of those loner types or if he’s just a dick but it’s not even worth figuring it out. I wouldn’t think too much about it’’
-
A week had gone by since then, you’d go to Sunghoons place every day for the lessons. Yoari had grown so used to you coming over and being there that she’d often stand right outside the door and wait for your arrival. Your lessons had become the highlight of her days and yours as well. And though Sunghoon wouldn’t admit it he’d gotten used to you being there as well. Though the atmosphere between the two of you had been quite tense lately, Sunghoon would occasionally come down to eat with you and Yoari or watch her play, you’d even see him crack a smile every now and then at the smallest of interactions between you and his sister. Even though Sunghoon was still completely unsure about you he knew one thing for sure, you made his sister happy and for that he was grateful to you.
Sunghoon had now been so accustomed to you having been there that he even let Yoari convince him to wait outside with her, five minutes turned to ten and ten turned to twenty. Eventually Yoari realize you weren’t coming and Sunghoon was finally able to convince her to come inside. Seeing the disappointment on his sister's face, Sunghoon wasn’t sure what to think. Right when he had begun to warm up to you again you’d bailed.
-
The next day at school Sunghoon had found himself unintentionally looking for you, he’d only been snapped back to his senses once Jake and Jay had arrived.
“Were you expecting someone or something?.....Did you finally ask out Yuna?’’ Jay can’t help but snort at Jake's instant need to jump to conclusions.
“I was looking for the two of you you idiot.’’
“Oh how sweet he missed us.’’ Jake teases, making kissy faces at Sunghoon at which Jay just shakes his head and Sunghoon pushes his face away.
“Anyways are we still on for tonight?’’ Jay interrupts, pushing Jake off to the side.
“That depends is your cousin Jungwon still coming down from seoul.’’
“He’ll be down with a few friends of his, Niki and Sunoo I think.”
“Well yeah we’re still on, other than my sisters music teacher my parents will be gone so the house is ours.’’
“Your sister has a music teacher? Why didn’t they just ask you or Jay?’’ Jake questions earning a shrug from Jay.
“Some bullshit about wanting me to pay attention to my own studies.’’
“Well is the teacher hot, wait is she on the older side. You know what it doesn’t even matter if she’s both?’’
“Dude?’’
“What? For all we know she could be old and wrinkly.’’ While Jay and Jake continued to go back and forth their voices had eventually drowned out into background noise as Sunghoon got lost in his thoughts once again. Thoughts of you and how you had already disappointed his sister once yesterday night.
He’d expected his sister to already be waiting outside the door as he arrived home, yet she wasn’t. In fact she wasn’t home at all. He found his mom sitting at the island counter of the kitchen, laptop placed in front of her and phone to her ear as she munched on a bowl of grapes. As he stood on the other side digging his own hand into the bowl his mom gave him an adorning smile before finishing up her call.
“Hi sweetheart, how were your classes.’’ Sunghoon shrugs in response, giving her the same answer as usual. “They were okay.’’
“Wheres Yoa, I thought she had a lesson?’’
“Of course your father didn’t tell you, He took your sister out to get a few things for yn.’’ Sunghoons brow furrowed in confusion.
“What?”
“Yn called in sick yesterday, we told her to take a few days off until she was feeling better and Yoari wanted to get her some things to cheer her up.’’ There Sunghoon was feeling like a complete asshole, He’d been ready to judge her again, thinking she simply just bailed on Yoari when in reality she wasn’t even feeling well enough to show up.
Now there Sunghoon stood outside your dorm, his sister's hand in his after having been forced to cancel his plans and take his sister to give you all the things she had bought and made for you.
-
You had been locked in the confined space of your room, as Jiaqi wouldn't allow you to step out of bed to do anything other than pee. The last two days have been completely miserable for you. Stuffy nose, sneezing and coughing, headaches, fevers and throwing up almost non stop. You’d felt so terrible for having to call and cancel on Yoari but Jiaqi and Jurin had refused to let you step foot out of the dorm the moment they found out you were sick.
A knock at the door followed by Jurins loud screaming down the hall woke you from your sleep.
“I got it, it might be Yeonjun and Wooyoung with the-’’ She stops mid sentence upon seeing none other than Park Sunghoon outside the door.
“Did they bring the movies.’’ Jiaqi asks, making her way to the door only to freeze on an instant upon seeing Sunghoon.
“Hi is yn here!?’’ Yoari asks, pulling Jurin and Jiaqis gaze off of Sunghoon and onto her.
You hadn’t known if the sick brain had finally gotten to you and you were full on hallucinating or if you’d actually heard what sounded to you like Yoaris voice coming from the living room. Poking your head out the doorway, only then did you realize that not only was Yoari here but so was Sunghoon.
“Yn!’’ Before they could even be invited in, Yoaris hand slips from Sunghoon and she runs inside immediately running to you, catching each of you by surprise. You and her sat in your room for an hour, Yoari having shown off everything she made for you and brought you to feel better. She had even gotten Sunghoon to record videos of her practicing in just those two days you hadn’t been there. Sunghoon on the other hand just sat on the couch quietly unsure what to say to you or the other two girls that had also been watching the videos of her playing. It went without saying that although they couldn't say the same for her brother, the girls were completely smitten by Yoari. Another knock at the door interrupts them, this knock being who all of you assumed to be Yeonjun and the others. As Jiaqi gets up to let them in Sunghoon found that as the perfect excuse to leave.
“We should get going Yoari, we should let her rest.’’ he interrupts, earning a pout from Yoari who hadn’t been done telling you about how she’d learned two new songs while you were away.
“But i’m not dome showing her.’’ At that time the others came flooding in, all of them seemingly just as confused as Jurin and Jiaqi had been when they first saw Sunghoon standing outside the door. Jurin gave a look that said I’ll explain this all later before looking at Sunghoon.
“You and Yoari are welcome to stay, we were just about to eat dinner and watch movies, today's disney night, since Yeonjun won Uno last night.’’ Sunghoon was confused as to what the correlation between the two topics had been but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Before he could open his mouth to refuse his sister interrupts.
“Can we please!?’’ He couldn’t say no to her, he could never tell his sister no, no matter what it was she asked of him. So that was exactly how he ended up spending his night eating and watching disney movies with you and your friends, a night he’d actually come to enjoy.
Eventually everyone had returned to their dorms, Sunghoon finding himself being one of the last ones there and the only one awake. Jurin and Jiaqi had passed out on the floor and as his eyes fell upon you he found you fast asleep wrapped in the blanket Yoari had gotten you. Yoari had been clinging to your side, her head resting on your shoulder as she slept peacefully. It was then that Sunghoon realized he was royally fucked. He could no longer avoid being close to you because you were starting to mean something to Yoari, and though he didn’t realize it yet you’d soon mean something to him too
🔖 @jwonistic @bubblytaetae @pkjay @heesallure @planetmarlowe @dreeki @butterflywonz @lillotus17 @squiishymeow @river-demon-slayer @sol3chu @st4rryst4r @firstclassjaylee @right-person-wrong-time @riribelle @gaytron3000 @heesunghooney @i03jae @blackhairandbangs @sunooqvrlsx @addictedtohobi @enaile23 @ivyvioletcarson @kristynaaah @starbyeol1512 @tinyteezer @jkslvsnella @brianashiftz @starbyeol1512
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lunarharp · 1 year ago
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figured i'd do this again..bit early i guess..
#to cheer me up.. i feel bad atm.. these things don't even make me feel very good tho bc i'm such a narrative/sketch-based artist..#but Proper Beautiful Finished Pieces are what grab attention and look good at the end of the year all neatly lined up lol.....#so looking at a “yearly review” where i can only choose 'the best image of the month' (??) is like...What have i even been doing...#i did a month by month look back on twt for myself instead..but even that doesn't express the quantity of comic-based stuff..#that i do put a lot of time/heart into..but alas i feel bad bringing even them back..RTing/reblogging my own art simply feels bad lol..#AND WHY IS IT ALL B&W...trying to accept that i LIKE doing that and sketching and scribbling..not like i'm trying to like..Get Artist Job..#this year was so profoundly lonely at times bc i spent all my time drawing instead of socialising and trying to find friends....#please please please have achieved more of your dreams in the future so you can look back at 2023 and think..#It was good that happened so that it got me further to the future. Or whatever i guess.....................#regardless i did have a great amount of fun drawing and improving this year and dwelling deeply & heavily on witch hat atelier.#art-wise and emotionally....march july & september were the best months i think..AUGUST WAS SO WEIRD SUMMER IS SO EVIL ALWAYS.#thank you very much if you are reading this for enjoying & leaving nice tags & such like <3 i've realised how fulfilling that is to receive#really keeps me posting stuff here instead of keeping it all to myself in my head#i wish everyone in this world could have a safe and happy end of year. i wish living in this world were easier
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icewindandboringhorror · 21 days ago
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I'm so heavily anti-advertising that all pitches sound goofy silly to me/I can never take them seriously, so I have no idea how I'll manage to to advertise my game even if I do finally finish it soon-ish lol...
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#Especially how so much modern media advertising is like... getting people excited about random tropes and stuff like#''Do you love enemies to lovers? Do you love sad stories that make you do a heckin CRY? Do you love big stupid dumbo muffin cake#sinnamon roll babies who are too good for this world? Have you ever wanted to read a blah blach blah" whatever stuff and it's like#... i cannot type that... I couldnt do it.. I couldn't even think of how to do it ghbjhbjh#I am such a literal person... Like I love when an advertisement is just like 'This product works well. Look at it. Buy it if you want. Ok'#You know what makes me want to read a book or watch a show or play a game? Reading a detailed plot synopsis or the full wiki page#for it and then deciding 'yeah I wouldnt mind sitting through seeing the events I just read about happen in more detail' lol#OR aesthetics. since I do often watch things JUST for the set/costume design. Sometimes I will watch stuff literally#just because I saw a picture of a costume in it that looked really cool and I want to sketch costume looks whilst watching#But aside from appearance like... little bullet point break downs of things that are in a story just ... do not do anything to me at all.#And i just hate 'selling' things to begin with. I don't want to have to convince people to like something.. they should just... like it...#LOL.. like.. just be born liking it. just like it automatically please. Dont make me beg to you like a weird little freak. So many commerci#als seem weirdly desperate and manipulative. Like those Truck/Car commercials that will have like a freaking dog crying and#a war vet in a wheelchair with the american flag in the background and a family hugging around a christmas tree or some shint and its#just like oh my GODDD... shut UPP.. you could literally not be MORE blantant about just trying to prey on peoples emotions to build#some sort of fabricated positive association with your product/brand.. begone.. Or brands having their own twitters where they post#~~relatable content~~ as a means of shallow audience endearment GGGRR..... ANYWAY.. hhrgh...................#Maybe that's something I can ask playtesters I guess like.. I feel like I don't know my own audience very well because I am not#much of a media person?? ironically.. Like I do enjoy MAKING media. But I've never been in a fandom. I've never read fanfiction. I've never#spent much time in those spaces. I've just never really had the inclination and don't personally derive much joy out of stuff like that#(since I'm already so focused on my OWN world and projects its like.. hard for me to even find the time and mental energy to expend on#others). Even when I finish a movie or game and really like it.. I just kind of like...move on? and don't really dwell on it much? At most#I will get into the worldbuilding of a piece of media and read the wiki for a while or watch Lore info or critical analysis videos. But I#never really care for or attach to the characters or the plot itself very much. So I feel like.. the way my brain works. I'm just not as#good at approaching things from that angle? Kind of like how if you're a lifelong vegetarian whos never eaten meat - you might#struggle to write an ad for fancy brand of steaks bc you'd be like... idk what meat eaters are even looking for? whats the selling point??#Which I'm not saying that I wouldn't play my own game. i AM definitely the audience for it. But it's more like.. I would play it for my own#very niche specific reasons that I think are different from what MOST people might want to play it for. So I need to somehow#tap into the minds of the Majority who play things for Normal Reasons than pure lore collection or whatever lol.
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mushyruuu · 5 months ago
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ive missed u & ur art sm 🥺 I adore it sm :^)
Ahh, thank you!! ;-;
I'm actually so positively overwhelmed with the response and everyone is so kind! Thank you all so so much ❤
Sending you warm hugs! 🫂
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james-stark-the-writer · 22 days ago
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just finished Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, and it is a game written by cowards for cowards.
the final twist genuinely ruins the game. it's so stupid as a narrative decision. i hate it so much. it almost makes me understand what the people yelling about The Last Jedi being too subservient to its themes were yelling about (OBVIOUSLY not the ones that were being bigoted and loud and wrong about it, but just the ones who had actual issues with its narrative directions/execution). genuinely, the twist takes what could have been an extremely solid 8.5, maybe a 9/10 game down to a 4/10 game with nothing of interest to say deluding itself into thinking it's saying anything of worth by thoughtlessly repeating patterns as if that's supposed to generate meaning without any real effort of actually committing to that meaning, or seeing the world as anything beyond its basic binary worldview of Good and Bad.
putting that twist in fundamentally cuts the legs out from any actual, interesting and substantive critique it could have leveled at the legal system and our feelings about people on trial and their perceived guilt or innocence, and it just ends up reinforcing it as a power of good that Will Ultimately Prevail In The Search For Truth, as if that is even remotely a thing any legal system is concerned with, especially the one in the game that mostly just stumbles into The Right Choices because it's a game controlled by the player. it's frankly ideologically incoherent to the point of saying nothing because its critique is unfocused and toothless. best it can muster is "maybe some people are corrupt and lying, but if You take Advantage of The System, you can beat them" as if malicious compliance is supposed to change the system. fuck off.
ran out of tags but. i'm serious about this lol, i really hate it as a narrative and ideological choice. the game threatens to say something bold and interesting and then just pulls the rug out from underneath you. it sucks. it's very much like 12 Angry Men in that way, i think, except at least that movie Knows what it's saying and that its basic premise is its ideological downfall, this just doesn't really feel like it says anything much interesting or coherent, ultimately, because the criticism either drowns in the length and comedic nature of it, or just ultimately isn't focused and pointed and nuanced enough to actually say something meaningful. like ik someone's gonna do a "kid's game" thing but hello, kid's shit has always been nuanced and just bc it's "for kids" doesn't mean it has to abide by some binary ass morality that flattens all its interesting critique, especially when you're constantly led, structurally, to the more interesting and nuanced narrative choice only to have a twist completely ruin it and making it all feel like a waste of your time. plenty of things are nuanced and interesting and "for kids" without deflating their themes and messages by writing a stupid twist that undercuts the interesting parts of its arguments.
#james talks#people will probably be mad about this one but i'm Wright about it. Phoenix Wright.#sorry. had to be done. making up for the lack of pun names and jokes in the last case.#anyway i'm so serious when i say it's a cowardly narrative direction that just completely undercuts the whole fucking point—#it was trying to make about the ways the legal systems of Japan are set up to encourage only closing cases by any means necessary#like it just literally doesn't make even half the point bc guess what? Ema just isn't actually responsible.#so you don't have to have any remotely complicated feelings about the justice system. it WILL get the perpetrators at the end.#Edgeworth? didn't do it. Ema? didn't do it. you don't ever have to have complicated feelings about working with people.#sorry i just REALLY fucking hate this choice so immensely i am more filled with rage the more i think about it#apparently this is a actual tag so.#Ace Attorney critical#resisting tagging this with the main game tag bc i don't wanna hear spoilers for the other games.#or hear annoying fans bitching about my correct take in my asks.#in case it wasn't obvious i am serious about the take but i am also still processing.#probably have slightly more nuanced thoughts when i've heard more opinions from other people and seen their takes.#i already know someone's gonna make some bullshit argument about believing in the good in people and how that makes sense but.#getting a charge of guilty literally is a failstate in this. your client and associates can never Actually Be Guilty of anything—#besides some light corruption. the twist about Lana not being a murderer is fine. it works bc it's clever.#but Ema not being a murderer is shit bc it completely ruins the promise the whole thing sets up. like sure Lana still goes to prison at—#the end but we can't dwell on that at all or feel anything but happy bc it's the last note of the game. so they have to make Ema not guilty#did it ever cross their minds they could've bonded again in prison?#like if you're sending Lana to prison anyway. just send Ema in with her. she can still be guilty of the thing and you can actually make—#more interesting critique of the system as abusing people who have no other choice instead of them—#Being Wronged Through No Fault Of Their Own as if they're innocent little toddlers with no control of anything. like with Edgeworth that—#narrative choice was more acceptable bc he was like 9 years old. Ema was 14. what the fuck are we talking about.#i'm not saying being 14 means she should hang or whatever like she was still a teen but they could've written her to be guilty—#but not A Murderer in a million different ways and they chose the most annoying and cowardly path bc—#it promises to be interesting and nuanced and then just completely flips you off right at the finish line—#as if your interest in its commentary and what it Wants To Say was too much investment as if they didn't spend 80% of the game doing that#by making you commit crimes to save people (Phoenix admits lawyers aren't supposed to investigate so 90% of the evidence is illegal)
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cienie-isengardu · 8 months ago
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Just a bit about MK's gender swap of Sektor and Cyrax
Unless there is a solid reason behind such a choice, I’m not a big fan of turning established characters into a different gender. Since Cyrax and Sektor’s gender has never played any vital part in their relationship with Bi-Han, Tomas or Kuai Liang, I can accept the gender swap for now, although my final judgment will depend on how those characters will be used in the upcoming expanded story.
That said, I have some legitimate concerns about those changes. For one, if this is NRS’s way to introduce more female fighters, then I’m pretty offended. I’m still awaiting the return of Sonya (one of the original cast!). There is also Sheeva, D’Vorah, Jade, Frost, Skarlet, Khameleon (already mentioned in intro dialogues as Umgadi), Sareena (as actual character not supporting background cameo), Jataaka, Kia. There is Harumi that definitely deserves to be flashed out beyond Scorpion’s fiance/wife, not to mention a chance to introduce us to a totally new female protagonist, like Raiden’s sister. Or NRS could bring comics!Hydro as a woman (or gender-fluid hydromancer. I’m not picky, though I doubt the NRS has any intention to explore gender issues beyond characters being women or men).
And let’s not forget about Cassie Cage & Jacqui Briggs, but those two as New Generation may not fit yet into the story, which is understandable. 
I’m happy to see Sektor and Cyrax back, but there are plenty of female characters that deserve no less to be brought back into lore and I’m afraid that gender swapping Cyrax and Sektor is NRS’s way to kill two birds with one stone. Bi-Han’s supporters are important to expand the Lin Kuei vs Shirai Ryu conflict, but by being now women, their presence on the roster reduces the chance of other female characters.  
The second, more prominent concern I have is the fear that the game will rely on or imply there was romance - still ongoing or in the past - between Bi-Han or Kuai Liang with either Sektor or Cyrax. I said it countless times before that I see Sub-Zero as aromantic & asexual so any romance for him simply doesn’t work for me, but that is actually beside the point.
My point is, if the major addition to the relationship between Lin Kuei characters will be Sektor and/or Cyrax having romantic feelings for any of the brothers and for that addition NRS needed to gender swap them into women I WILL BE FURIOUS. Not for the romance itself, but because Sektor and Cyrax as men could have the same feelings and their gender should not play any role in that. Homosexual and/or bisexual men should be part of MK lore no less than heterosexual characters. And I feel lately that the Mortal Kombat franchise likes to erase a lot of previously established diversity. Homosexual Kung Jin was playable only in MKX (2015) and just referred here or there since then. Previous timelines Mileena showed interest (or sometimes was just sexually creepy?) toward men and women alike, now she is only interested in Tanya. On one hand, cool, an established lesbian woman. On another the bisexual vibe is kicked out of the window - or at least this is my impression. Johnny may be seen as bisexual man, but how intentional that was on the NRS’ part or just came out naturally as there is no female character in the group of Liu Kang’s Earthrealm Champions for him to interact with, I’m not sure. 
My fear is that NRS is just a coward that would rather gender-swap male characters to present them and their relationship as heterosexual than just go with them as they are. MK1 has already the token homosexual pair (Tanya & Mileena) to balance Liu Kang/Kitana,  Sindel/Jerrod and background Johnny’s ex-marriage or Kenshi/Suchin. So if female Cyrax and Sektor’s purpose is to either avoid homosexual implication or to explore the relationship of  Lin Kuei characters through some romantic bullshit, I will be furious. But if studio’s choice to gender swap Sektor and Cyrax will change literally nothing about what we already knew from previous timelines then WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL OF THIS?
Like I said, my final judgment about NRS’s choice for female Cyrax and Sektor will be based on story mode alone. For now, I’m pretty much indifferent, as their gender has never affected their relationship with Bi-Han before and so far the only complaint I have is, the visually-wise impression that female Cyrax and Sektor seem to look thinner than rest of female characters? But that may be just the armor playing a trick on my eyes.
(I lied. I have a second complaint, their armor should be more bulky, and better covering their body/gender. This seems like a wasted opportunity to have a cool reveal that yes, under the armor there are two kick-ass awesome women).
So, female Cyrax and Sektor for now does not change anything for me, but I do remain suspicious about the reasoning of NRS for gender swap.
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mannequinentity · 2 months ago
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Research, brain fog and brain fart.
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Day nine head canon you betrayed me. I thought you would be easy and laid back.
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