#But it's too far for conveyor belts to feel like the answer

[restlessreveries]

Okay, my first truck kind of flew off into the void... but I'm reasonably sure that this one will stay on the map.

... I hope.

[simlicious]

My game recommendations

I had a reblog in my drafts folder for a couple of days to keep working on it and when I was done I saw that the original poster sadly deactivated reblogs on their post. They lovingly suggested that simmers should indulge in other games too, and I couldn't agree more. It is a special feeling to dive into a new game, learn new mechanics, and have a very different experience from the last game you played. I really put a lot of work into my answer, so I decided to make a new post for it.

I'm a simmer and a gamer (simming since 2000), gaming since 1994 or so. I used to play Everquest II way back when and dabble in Elder Scrolls Online but I quit for Baldur's Gate III which has me obsessed for months now, highly enjoyable. Sims 3 has fallen a few steps on my top 10 list in recent years, but I use it as a creative outlet anyway and do not tend to judge it against other games much. I do judge Sims 4 though, which is a sad state of affairs. I can have fun in it if I spend the time in CAS, or for the first 6 hours in a new expansion - but it's just too expensive for its little value, especially compared to other games on this list.

City Builder/Automation games:

Factory Town: super chill cozy vibe, automate logistics for your pixel-people town. Lovely game

Timberborn: build a town for cute beavers!

Farthest Frontier: a nice city simulation with some logistics and events such as raiders invading the town

Satisfactory: one of the most ambitious automation games, with amazing graphics, for people who like to puzzle, analyze/calculate, and really use their heads while gaming. I like to play it as a challenge and see how far I can take my spaghetti conveyor belts!

Frostpunk: a harrowing/grim atmosphere, dystopian, make hard choices for your town

Simulation games:

Roller Coaster Tycoon and Planet Coaster: I love building super scary rollercoasters and then riding them and trying to get people in the park to ride them too

Strategy games:

Anno 1800: I can spend my entire life in this game it feels, it is engaging and relaxing all at once - love this so much!

Action/adventure games:

Assassins Creed Origins: stunning world, super detailed visuals and fun combat mechanics

Scifi/Exploration

No Man's Sky: At first I thought this was more of a casual game, but prepare for a lot of grinding and long-ish quests. It is fun to discover new plants/creatures and name them!

Survival games:

Raft: great to play with friends too and it has a relaxed vibe but also survival mechanics that keep you engaged

The Long Dark: I love the art style and music so much, the story mode is great, the survival mode can be very challenging depending on settings and it is super immersive. Wrap yourself in a warm blanket to play 😂

Subnautica: my favorite game ever before Baldur's Gate 3 dethroned it! It is a game that will guide you to leave your comfort zone time and time again, but you choose when you feel ready for it. You can really follow your own pace and exploring the vast, beautiful, and terrifying depths of this ocean planet is absolutely immersive and filled with surprise and wonder. It has also very chill and calm base-building elements to counteract the scarier moments. The soundtrack is one of the best in terms of evoking feelings/ building atmosphere, do not turn off the sound while playing this game!!!

Storytelling games:

Life is Strange: a classic, it's fun to explore what we could change and what the consequences would be if we could go back in time.

Firewatch: very emotional and touching, leaving a lasting impression

Casual games:

Bridge Constructor Portal (the dark humor is a bonus, it's fun and trains your analytical thinking!)

Carcassonne (like the tabletop game, chill puzzle game)

Simulacra (you uncover a mystery on a phone, interesting idea!)

Retro Games:

My favorite old/retro game would be Black & White (from 2001), which I played when it originally came out, I loved it so much! The free camera was revolutionary at the time. You play a god who is powered by worshippers whom you can either provide and care for or reign terror over, and your actions decide your alignment, good, neutral, or evil. You get a creature that you can train (and will be more or less useful to your goals or disrupt them depending on how well you train it). IIRC, you can train the creature either in the story mode or sandbox/skirmish mode and then go back to story mode with a stronger creature. The mouse gestures which activate miracles in the air felt like a revolutionary new idea back then. The game is not available officially anymore, but it is downloadable from some abandonware websites and the community-made patches so it is still playable today! Writing this, I had to reinstall it right away... the nostalgia!

RPGs:

Cyberpunk 2077: it's just iconic, the city energy and car drives are nice, the story is interesting and it feels immersive

The Witcher 3: great quests and story, beautifully crafted open world

Baldur's Gate 3: I could also talk for hours about Baldur's Gate 3. If there is one game out there that everyone should have tried once in their life, it's that one. It really lets you try any strategy you want and did not actually expect to work in a video game, but in BG3, it does. Even cheaty ones like pushing enemies from a cliff or using explosives to blow stuff up. If you got surprise-attacked but have no weapon handy, you can throw a grease bottle at the enemy that can make them slip and fall, and then you can throw your burning torch at it to light everything on fire. You can stack boxes to climb up to reach something (or throw a goblin body onto someone's head, because it's perfectly normal to carry those around with you). You can be sneaky and steal stuff, even rewards from enemies. Don't like fighting? You can talk your way out of most fights if your character has the necessary skills and still complete quests that way. 95% of NPCs have something to say, and if you click them again, they will have another line. The narrator is awesome. The companions have so much character, the banter is great and every character has its own story arc and goal, the voice acting is phenomenal all around. Definitely get the talk-to-animals skill and use it on all animals, you'll have hilarious conversations! It's worth every penny, even if it's not on sale (and I hardly ever buy a game at full price, so that is saying a lot). Thanks for reading, I hope you feel inspired to try some new games! Have fun 😊

[katiethekwasolover101]

Well, here is first chapter out of the six that I’ve written so far.

Link to the Prologue for those who haven’t read it: https://www.tumblr.com/katiethekwasolover101/757616881495687168/the-heroes-of-aeseganora-part-2-the-protection

(Also, feel free to share what y’all think will happen next in the comments as you read on)

The Heroes of Aeseganora: Part 2 - The Protection Of The Core

Chapter 1: The Drageisbjørn’s Magic Pickup

“And… done. Perfect,” a penguin grunted, just as his two flippers finished weaving a basket. He lifted one of them and wiped his forehead, which was damp with sweat from his hard work. The air was warm, not really the best for penguins like this one. But he wasn’t really bothered by it - it was summer, after all, and the penguins who lived in Aeseganora were immune to extreme heat.

The penguin’s eyes roamed over the finished basket for a few moments, before he sat down on the log chair at his workbench and allowed his eyes and his ears to take in everything around him. He was one of many citizens who were working on baskets which would be picked up by creatures of the Drageisbjørn species to deliver spare magic to every part of Aeseganora. After a few moments, he heard the sound of another worker’s voice.

“Hey, Gary!” the voice greeted him from behind. He looked over his shoulder and saw his colleague Crimson, a skunk. They were struggling with their wagon, filled to the brim with so many bundles of multi-coloured cane that the wagon was becoming too heavy for them to pull.

“You’re already done?” Crimson asked.

“Yep,” Gary replied. “Finished weaving today’s and half of tomorrow’s baskets! Are you needing some help with that wagon?”

“Yes, I am, actually,” Crimson laughed as Gary walked over and picked up the bundles, making the load lighter. “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome,” Gary replied, glad that he was able to help his friend. “Was that the last load of cane?”

“Yes,” Crimson chuckled.

“OK,” Gary said. “Now that I’ve finished that basket, we’ll move the conveyor belt.”

“OK,” Crimson nodded, grateful for the help as they were about to return the empty wagon. “I’d better get back to building the structure of my basket. Thanks for the help, mate.”

“With pleasure!” Gary replied, a smile wide on his face.

He looked at all the other baskets, which were set on a straight conveyor belt, where they went from the entrance of the basket-making factory to the back of the factory. Workers stood along the belt, approximately ten feet away from one another. Each one had a specific job, and Gary’s was to weave the coloured cane into the baskets. By the time a basket went through all the workers in line, it was ready to be collected by the Drageisbjørn species.

Well, after someone had made sure that the magic release system in each basket was working, of course.

The conveyor belt moved, and the workers began their work on their next baskets. As they did so, they heard their manager, a koala named Kairo, marching through and barking orders to the workers.

“Come on, everyone! Get working! The people of Aesgeanora won’t get by without the spare magic, and the Drageisbjørn will soon be here to collect the baskets!” he ordered, turning to Gary. “Gary, have you finished weaving those baskets for the dragons yet?”

“Yup!” Gary answered, looking up to him as he continued weaving. “Finished today’s and half of tomorrow’s!”

“Good,” Kairo said, before noticing that the two creatures who were supposed to be testing the magic release system in one finished basket - a fox named Tristyertzar and a sheep named Flora - weren’t concentrating on their job, and instead, Trist was having too much fun releasing Flora from the basket. “Flora! Trist! Stop messing around and get back to work!”

“Yes, sir!” Trist said mockingly, as Flora climbed back into the basket and said “Do it again!” - the sort of thing that a young child would say if they enjoyed something.

Trist did as his partner-in-crime told him to - he pulled down a large lever, and the bottom of the basket opened up, sending Flora falling through it and onto the ground with a thump!

“Magic release system working, Kairo!” Trist declared with a proud smile to Kairo, who was unimpressed as ever by these two’s antics.

“Aye,” Flora mumbled, as she sat up and rubbed her head. “Maybe you should be the test magic for a while.”

Meanwhile, in a room on the other side of the factory, a giraffe, who was the timekeeper of the factory, pulled a lever which sent a sleeping guard crab into a seashell amplifier, startledly awakening with a sound which echoed through the amplifier, ringing throughout the entire factory, signifying the end of the workers’ shift.

“And where are you off to so soon, Gary?” Kairo asked with a hint of a sly smirk on his face, as he noticed Gary preparing to leave.

“Oh, just heading into town with Vivi, sir.” Gary answered slightly evasively.

“Oooooh, heading into town, eh?” Trist said, as he gave Flora a knowing wink.

“And with Vivi as well!” Flora reminded him. “Can we just ask - when you say you’re just heading into town with Vivi, are you really heading into town? Or are you going to meet a certain group of creatures who say things like ‘Shiver me whiskers!’ or ‘Jumping jellyfish!’ or ‘Buncha munchy crunchy carrots!’”

As they both burst out laughing, Gary knew that they were teasing him about his new friends who lived in the oceans on Earth.

“Why are you guys talking about them like that?” he asked them, rather accusatory.

“No reason, mate!” Flora and Trist grinned and answered as one.

Gary walked away quickly, determined to escape their teasing and make a dignified exit, but unfortunately…

“Say hi to Cap’n Barnacles, would you? And King Ollum, if you happen to see him on your travels, too!” Kairo smiled.

And with that, Gary’s flippers started to run out of the factory, away from the mocking of his friends, who he and his girlfriend were actually planning on meeting up with.

****************

Just a few hours after the workers’ departure, the silence of the factory was suddenly filled with the echoing of a loud bugelhorn, and Kairo and some of the other creatures who were still on shift looked out of a big window to see a flock of Drageisbjørn phoenixes, birds and dragons rapidly approaching.

“Look, it’s the Drageisbjørn!” Kairo declared. “Tam, put all finished baskets onto the pulley!”
“Will do, sir!”

Immediately, a pulley system began to operate as it hauled the freshly woven baskets up onto a delivery tower, and one by one, each Drageisbjørn creature dove downward and snatched a basket in its talons before soaring back into the Aeseganoran sky. Flora, Trist, Tam and everyone else in Ocalihalla watched the creatures gracefully and majestically flying into the air with the baskets, their eyes widening in great excitement, and happiness filling their hearts at how normal Aeseganora seemed to be becoming again, finally, for the first time in so long.

But at the same time, they all knew that whatever had caused the great magic leak of Aeseganora could still be lurking amongst them, quietly and anonymously causing damage, and threatening their livelihoods…

[wizard-finix]

oooh 🦜🦉 :D ! ! ! !

HELLO RAGE MY FELLOW PERSONA ENJOYER, THANK U FOR THE ASK I GOT THE GOODS JUST FOR U

🦜 a pretty quote(you like the prose, or symbolism, or it's poetic, or you just like how it feels/the word choice!)

I know u love Akihiko (I do too) so have a future scene with Akihiko and Sae for Stygian Ringlet:

A thermos was suddenly placed on her desk in front of her with a dull thunk. Sae looked up and nearly startled. “Sanada?” “Don’t look so surprised,” he said. “I do work here, you know.” “What are you doing here?” she asked, dropping her voice low so no one would overhear. “I thought you worked at the station, not the courthouse.” “I had to drop something off for a case,” Sanada explained. “Figured you were gonna come looking for me anyway, so I thought I’d save you the trouble.” He glanced at the mess that was her desk. “Wow. And I thought Mitsuru was a workaholic.” Sae resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Sanada was… very straightforward. Not quite what she expected, but strangely easy to talk to. "I just have a lot of work to do," she said. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to leave the office until late today.” Sanada grimaced in sympathy. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll be working late too,” he said. “After the whole fiasco with the kid, everyone’s gonna be pulling some long hours for a while.” She hummed thoughtfully. “In that case, would you like to go get takeout together later?” “Sure,” said Sanada. “Got a place in mind?” Sae gave a tired sigh. “Normally, I would get conveyor belt sushi with—” She paused. “...With a coworker after days like this. But with everything that’s happened lately, I don’t feel very much like sushi right now.” Sanada looked thoughtful. “...How about I show you one of my favorite spots, then? I know a good beef bowl place not far from here.” “Beef bowls?” Sae asked. She thought about it for a moment. “...I suppose that does sound good."

I wasn’t expecting Akihiko and Sae to end up having a friendship dynamic, but they DO and it ranges somewhere between “accomplice partners in crime” and ”🤝 our workplace sucks, actually” and I am SO looking forward to actually getting to those parts in the fic. I love my p3 boys

🦉 a clever quote (something you're proud of!)

This continues off of the scene above, but I was having some fun digging into Akihiko’s reasons for picking the career he did (since I noticed it’s a little controversial among persona fans) and I’m a lil proud of this analysis:

“Why did you become a police officer in the first place?” asked Makoto. Akihiko paused as he considered the question.  “I was never much good at detective work like Shirogane is. I’m no tech expert, I’m not all that good with kids, and I’m not really into business or management. I’m a guy who’ll have your back in a fight, but that’s about it.” Akihiko shrugged. “Somehow that ended up with me at the police academy. It’s not a fun job; hell, half the time I hate it, but I’ve got my reasons for sticking with it. And trying is better than doing nothing, I guess.”  “If you hate it so much, you could have just stayed a Shadow Operative,” said Sae. “Although I suppose I’m not one to talk.” “I know I could have,” he said, remembering the few years after graduation he’d spent trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life now that the Dark Hour was gone. He had taken care of Ken up until he decided to move into the dorms on his own in the meantime, and helped Mitsuru where he could with the newly formed Shadow Operatives, but there weren’t any shadows to fight for a while. Looking out for the others was really the only thing that he wanted, but that wasn’t exactly a career option.  He’d also tried out professional boxing for a while, and he had liked it, but making a career out of what was more of a high school hobby lost its appeal after a while. “So why didn’t you?” asked Makoto. Akihiko thought about the question, trying to come up with the words for an answer. “I guess… I just want to be the kind of adult the three of us would have liked to have around growing up. Ken, too, after he lost his mom.” For years it had just been him, Shinji, and Miki at the orphanage. Then just him and Shinji, up until the point where they’d been recruited by Mitsuru. Akihiko could count on his fingers the number of adults that had actually looked out for them during that time.  There was one of those adults that Akihiko thought about when he considered going into police work. It wasn’t much, but he remembered the way Officer Kurosawa had supplied Akihiko and Shinjiro— two orphaned, rough-looking middle schoolers known for picking fights— with a meager selection of confiscated weapons, suspecting that something was wrong in Iwatodai and giving them the means to protect themselves. In hindsight, he had definitely been breaking several laws to do so, yet he did it anyway simply because he believed it was the right thing to do. Something about that stuck with Akihiko, even now.  (When he thought about it later on, he wondered if Kurosawa had ever experienced the Dark Hour. It would have explained why he thought giving them weapons was the best way to help, or why he had so much faith in them. He hadn’t seen Kurosawa since graduation, so he never got the chance to ask.) Besides, Mitsuru, Aigis, and Shirogane were heavily involved in police and government affairs. Akihiko wasn’t a rich heiress or a detective; his options to help were limited. So he did the next best thing: taking up a police badge just so he could be there to have their backs when they needed it, so his closest friends and allies wouldn’t fight alone. He’d promised Shinjiro he would take care of them, after all.

Thanks for the ask!! :D (and also the motivation to work on this fic again lmao)

[aeoki]

Magic Lantern - Mysterious: Chapter 3

Location: Yumenosaki Secret Room Characters: Sora & Natsume

Natsume: WeLL, putting that asiDE. Majority of the Yumenosaki students can have a proper successful experience under the protection of the powerful and nobLE “Knights”.

The harder they work, the more they’ll be rewardED and they can have a taste of victory and succeSS.

The system where you’ll definitely be rewarded if you do your work properly as an idol also applies to ES.

NO. That’s probably why ES exists – it’s because it’s A “utopia for idols”.

Things like the unit system, L$ and all those other things are there to make their ideals a realiTY.

Now that ES is side-by-side with Yumenosaki, it’s the saME. If you do what you’re told, you can automatically succeED – That kind of easy path has been prepared for uS.

“Graduate from a good school, get into a good company and you’ll be hapPY.” That sort of story has been lost alongside the bubble econoMY.

It simply means someone has made a similar sort of stoRY – an idol version of iT.

But, of course, there are people who cannot adapt to such a mainstream stoRY.

Those people are cynical people who don’t want to sit on the factory conveyor belt and be a mass-producED “finished product”.

“Switch” will pick up the weirdos and failurES. It’s our mission to gather those who have been left out and to put them on a paTH, after all.

But just picking them up won’t change anythiNG – No one will save you just because you’re weAK… I know that far too weLL and it has only proved that to be truer than ever, after seeing tHE “Bon Festival”.

As a result of the “Bon Festival”, most of the other idols other than “ALKALOID” leFT ES. They could have been savED and we even reached our hands out to thEM.

But in the end, what exactly could we have done for thEM? Gave them a “final chance to make memoriES”?

Sora: …………

Natsume: Of course, we made preparations for those idols who were let go in the summER, so that they could make a comeback at the special music waRD.

But doing that is just better than doing nothing in the current circumstances, isn’t iT?

We didn’t even need to use the last safety net – we should’ve given them a proper chance to be hapPY.

But we’re weak and we’re losing the very things we picked uP.

No one will save you if you’re weAK – having ideals and dreams alone won’t fill your stomaCH. That’s why we needed a more realistic sort of powER.

We can’t always be little kids who have dreams but live on miserably while someone protects uS.

At the very least, I need strength that allows me to protect someoNE – like my nii-saNS.

…That’s what I decided and I did a lot of different thinGS. I colluded with “Knights” and the Student Council and pretended to be the mastermind behind the story that was being written within YumenosaKI.

I also created an environment where the cynical and hopeless kids who couldn’t become the mainstream would experience success and victoRY.

I reformed the dreamfest system within the school and set up a category where the ignoble kids could wIN…

I set up a system where the kids who had no choice but to end up in the minority could have an equal chance at being hapPY.

I know it’s useless if I’m just being lazy and opening my mouth, of courSE. But in order for them to be able to reach a utopia no matter what path they chooSE…

I suppose I did all that I couLD. I don’t know if it was the “correct” answer – I’m a fortune teller but I can’t foresee the futuRE.

But I will no longer choose to “do nothiNG”.

Sora: ~......♪

Natsume: ? Sora, what have you been doing all this tiME?

Sora: Right! Sora was listening to Master~ talk!

Natsume: I sEE… I’m sorry for rambling on and on about something that doesn’t really have anything to do with yOU.

Maybe I’m starting to feel anxioUS – Maybe I want someone to tell me that what I’m doing isn’t wroNG.

That’s why I’m frantically rambling – I wanted to prove that I’m correCT.

Sora: HiHi~♪ Ever since Sora first met Master~, Master~ has never been wrong! Sora respects Master~!

Natsume: You’ve always been like thAT – You’ve always been fully supportive of us even though we’re hopeleSS. We depended on you and caused you to be sad since we left you alone for a long tiME.

I came to understand that during “Next Door” and I thought I had reflected long and hard on iT. I wonder if we’re making the same mistakes all over agaIN.

Sora: It’s okay! Sora came up with a way to battle loneliness! 

Look, these are the dolls that Senpai made for Sora~♪ Even if Sora still can’t talk with Master~ and Senpai from now on, Sora can have fun chatting with these two and Sora will be happy!

Natsume: …………

Sora: “Sora-kun! You look very happy today!” “Did something good happEN, Sora?”

Natsume: …………

Sora: “HiHi~♪ Yes! Sora doesn’t really understand difficult things, but it looks like Master~ and Senpai’s hard work is going to pay off very soon!”

“That makes Sora very, very, very happy!”

“Is that so? If Sora-kun is happy then that makes me happy too!” “Me tOO~!”

Natsume: ………!

ᴉ’ᴍ ᵴᴏ ᵴᴏᴙᴙ𐰛! ᵴᴏᴙᴀ…! 𐰛ᴏᴜ ᴆᴏᴎ’ᴛ ⲏᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴎᵴᴏᴌᴇ 𐰛ᴏᴜᴙᵴᴇᴌꜰ ⱳᴉᴛⲏ ᴛⲏᴏᵴᴇ ᴆᴏᴌᴌᵴ!

ᴉ’ᴌᴌ ꞡᴉᴠᴇ 𐰛ᴏᴜ ᴀᵴ ᴍᴀᴎ𐰛 ⲏᴜꞡᵴ ᴀᵴ 𐰛ᴏᴜ ⱳᴀᴎᴛ! ᴆᴏᴎ’ᴛ ᴆᴏ ᵴᴏᴍᴇᴛⲏᴉᴎꞡ ᵴᴏ ᵴᴀᴆ…!

Sora: Huh? Uh, well, like Sora said, Sora is fine~...?

← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂  Next Chapter →

[alarakcplan]

After seeing Reina at the Halloween party, Alara had spent all of maybe two minutes pondering if their entire little foursome was somehow migrating to Briar Ridge. But that thought had quickly dissipated as it felt too unrealistic. Shock on her when she happened to glance behind her at Chapman's and thought she caught a glimpse of a very familiar frame shopping in the produce aisle nearby.

"Bok!" she cursed under her breath, practically jumping to turn away in the hopes that he didn't see her, pulling the bill of her baseball cap down lower over her eyes. Gabe was one of the few people on this earth who had witnessed Alara Kaplan having a full on emotional breakdown and when she had left Chicago the very next day, it was in the hopes that she'd never have to acknowledge what he had witnessed again.

Despite keeping her gaze trained solely on the cash register, practically willing the shop attendant to hurry up, Alara could somehow feel Gabe's presence getting closer. It was like her senses had gone into overdrive. When she heard him approach the line she was in and ask to catch up with his 'wife,' Alara let out a groan, head falling back on her shoulders as she waited for the inevitable.

As he moved closer to her, she shifted on her feet uncomfortably. By the time he came to stand directly behind her, it was finally her turn to check out and she focused all of her attention on placing her groceries on the conveyor belt, absolutely refusing to acknowledge Gabe's presence.

When her last item had been hurriedly placed on the belt, she looked up at the cashier, waiting for them to finish scanning her items. The teenager looked back and forth between Alara and Gabe behind her. When Alara didn't volunteer an explanation, they asked, "Are you two together?" "Absolutely not!" she rushed to correct them, right as she heard Gabe answering to the contrary behind her. Reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose, she let out a huff, before shaking her head in frustration. "Yes, okay, we're together. You can add his items." she conceded, quickly stepping as far away from Gabe as she could while the attendant continued scanning the groceries.

closed starter for @alarakcplan location: champman's grocer

An orange fell from his hand to the floor when he saw her. Benny had told Gabe that Alara was back in town, but to see her in the flesh after so long was an entirely different feeling. She was making her way to the register, so he quickly ran across the store to her queue. Fuck. She was at the front. It was like a scene from a movie. As soon as he arrived, like four other people did at the same time, so he was behind her.

"Excuse me..." Gabe said softly, but no one budged. "I need to help my wife," he added, flicking his head towards Alara. The people immediately let him through, and he stood behind her in the queue, smirking. He knew she would be pissed, but she was running off again. Not this time.

[cjsinkythoughts]

The Conversation

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 7661 (Don’t come at me - you guys asked for it)

Warnings: !FATWS Spoilers!, Cursing, Fluff, Feelings, I Dunno What Else, This One’s Pretty Chill, Except The Ending, But You’ll See When You Get There

A/N: Here it is! I was hesitant about posting it because that means we’re getting closer to the end and I’m such a nostalgic bitch! I’m definitely gonna cry next week when the last episode comes out! Anyways, I’ve got a few things to talk about:

I think this is one of the most important chapters I’ve written and I’m excited to see your reactions to it. It is longer, but you guys asked for that, so you got it! Also, I’m loving the Asks, Comments, and Reblogs. I try to respond to all of them. I have work in a little bit, so I won’t be able to until after, but I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Ask me anything; about my series, the show, any of the movies, personal stuff, I really don’t care. If you’re not comfortable, that’s totally fine! Every like means so much to me!

I know it’s not the end yet - we’ve got one more episode and a list of One Shots to get through - but there’s a definite feeling of this series coming to an end, and I just want to thank you all for the support and love you’ve been giving it! I’ve really enjoyed writing these characters and this story! It’s very, very special to me and I’m glad I’ve been able to share it with you lovely people!

On that note, be kind to yourselves and others! Thank you again for reading! Excuse any mistakes - this isn’t beta’d! Enjoy and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT! (Sorry for the gifs I just love them so much and he’s so pretty and this part is technically two parts so...you get four!)

“Louisiana.” Bucky hummed, looking around the airport.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re not gonna find anything interesting about Louisiana in here, doofus. Let’s call an Uber.”

“An Ooper? What the hell is an Ooper?”

You giggled, shaking your head and grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the luggage carousel. “Uber. It’s like…a taxi service. But there’s an app on your phone to get a driver instead of waiting for one on the street.”

“Oh.” He blinked, tilting his head. “That’s…helpful.”

You laughed again, stopping in front of Carousel 3, where your flight from New York was assigned. You went back to New York to grab a bag with clean clothes and other necessities, along with taking a real shower for once. It was nice to be back in the States, as much as you loved traveling. It’d been a crazy few weeks and you were ready to just relax.

“Do you think there were any problems with Sammy’s present?”

Bucky shook his head. “Nah. Especially considering they know who we are.”

You snickered at his slight grumble. They had had…problems at the other two airports - first the one in Sokovia then JFK in New York - considering Bucky’s entire arm was metal. It’d taken a full hour before they actually let you go, and by that time they had to give you a new plane because yours had left.

“Seriously. Who else has a fucking metal arm and has 1917 listed as their birth year on their Driver’s License?” You giggled again. That was also true. They thought he was messing with them. It wasn’t until you stepped in a few minutes after they asked Bucky to step to the side, seeing Bucky get frustrated, that they realized Bucky wasn’t pulling their legs.

“Well, we’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

He nodded in agreement, watching for your bags, his hand finding yours when he realized how many people there were. “Do you know where he lives? I didn’t even think about it.”

“Yeah, don’t worry. He invited me over once. I declined, but I saved the address.”

“He…invited you over?” Bucky frowned.

You gave him a look. “I’m sure he invited you, too. You just never checked his texts.”

He licked his lips, tilting his head. “Yeah, no, I know, but I mean…why didn’t you go? Weren’t you two just talking about how you wanted to meet his nephews the other day?”

“Yeah, but I had gotten a tip on Wanda at the time and I didn’t want to miss the chance that she was there. He told me it was fine. I still felt really bad. I could tell he was a bit disappointed. I think it was one of the boys’ birthdays. Or something. I don’t remember. Is that bad? Yeah, probably. I really should remember. Maybe I should keep track of birthdays on my calendar or something.”

“Doll.” You looked up to find him giving you a magnificent smile, teeth and all. “You’re rambling.”

“Oh. Am I? Sorry. I didn’t realize.”

He shook his head quickly, squeezing your hand. “Don’t apologize. It’s cute. I’m just not used to you talking so much. You kinda did on the phone sometimes.”

You shrugged, pushing down the heat crawling up your neck at his words. “I rambled a lot to Steve.”

“Oh.”

His face fell, making you scrunch your eyebrows up in confusion, nudging him slightly to grin at him. “It’s nice to have someone to ramble to again, though.” There was that smile again. You were stopped from saying anything more when you noticed some kids pointing and chattering excitedly at a gleaming silver box coming around the corner on the conveyor belt. “There it is.”

He looked over his shoulder, dropping your hand and stepping over to grab it, lifting it effortlessly. You didn’t know what was in it or how heavy it was, but you were sure it felt like a feather to him.

“Alright. Got our bag, sweetheart?” You lifted up the duffle in answer and he jerked his head towards the doors. “Let’s get outta here, then. Call that Booper or whatever.”

“U-B-E-R! Ub-er!” You threw your hands up, following him as he started walking towards the exit. “What’s so hard about it?!”

He just gave you a little smirk over his shoulder.

***************

Bucky kept asking the Uber driver questions about his job. The guy was super nice and patient the whole time, a thick southern accent lacing his answers. Southern hospitality was no joke and apparently had no limit as Bucky asked about his experiences, listening intently and telling him his own stories of taxi drivers in NYC.

When you got to Sam’s sister’s house, Bucky, being Bucky, tipped the driver half of what you paid for the ride, thanking him for his time and energy, before getting out.

“You’re so adorable, you know that?” You teased him as you stepped up the porch stairs and knocked on the door.

He rolled his eyes, a tint of pink dusting across his cheeks. “He was nice.”

You hummed at his defense, the smile never leaving your features. After a moment, Bucky raised his fist to knock again. “Jesus Christ! Don’t fucking knock their door down!” You grabbed his wrist and lowered it.

“Sorry. I forget sometimes.” Bucky informed you absentmindedly,  tilting his head to peek in the window. “I don’t think anyone’s home.”

“They’re probably at the docks, then.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “The docks?”

You nodded, gesturing for him to follow you. “Yeah. They have a boat, remember? He talked about it last week.”

“Oh right. The one he’s trying to convince his sister not to sell.”

“Yeah.” You confirmed. “I’m pretty sure it’s that way. I don’t know how far, but we can call the Uber back-”

Bucky scrunched up his face and shook his head. “Nah. I don’t wanna bother him again. We can walk.”

You gave him an incredulous look. “It’s literally his job to drive people around.”

“Well, yeah, but what if he’s got other people to drive?”

You lifted his metal knuckles to your lips. “Trust me, Buck, I’m sure he’d rather drive you than anyone else.”

“Thank you?”

Swinging your now linked hands, you gave a firm nod, letting him know it was, in fact, a compliment. “You are so very welcome.”

The walk was a lot longer than you thought it was, and you ended up on Bucky’s back after he kept complaining about how you “shouldn’t be walking this long” and you were “injured” and you “needed rest’”. You’re not sure how a shoulder wound affected your ability to walk, but you relented and let him carry you the rest of the way to stop his whining.

“You forget, you did pull your thigh.”

“That was, like, three weeks ago! Yeesh!”

You finally got to the docks, which were bustling with people. Bucky set you down and raised an eyebrow which you shrugged in reply to, before heading over to where you spotted Sam with a few other older men.

“How do we get it off the truck?” You heard Sam ask, pointing to a large boat engine part in the bed of a beaten up truck. Scoffing as Bucky lifted it up without breaking a sweat, you leaned against the truck. Bucky grunted and set it down, looking at Sam.

“You’re welcome.” What a punk. “Just dropping this off.” Bucky lifted the case and set it where the engine was previously, Sam coming to stand on the opposite side of the truck as you. “You can sign for it and I’ll go.” You snorted, shaking your head, making Bucky shove your shoulder - the uninjured one - playfully. “I called in a favor from the Wakandans.”

Sam looked at you curiously. You shrugged and shook your head. “Don’t look at me, Sammy. He wouldn’t tell me what it is. He’s all hushy hushy about it until you say so.”

Before Sam could reply, there was a squeak and hissing over at the boat where steam was coming from a few pipes.

“Sam!” You knew that was Sarah from pictures Sam showed you. You stayed up by the truck, pulling yourself onto the bed while Sam tried fixing the pipe, Bucky butting in to show him how to do it properly.

“Why didn’t you use the metal arm?”

You saw Bucky lift up said metallic limb. “Well…I don’t always think of it immediately. I’m-I’m right handed.” Letting out a laugh, Bucky turned around and scowled teasingly at you. “And what’re you laughing at?!”

“Nothing!”

“Well then get your ass over here!”

You rolled your eyes, hopping down from the truck as Bucky asked if Sam wanted help with the boat. You leaned against a wooden post, grinning when Sam looked at you.

“I don’t have any plans.”

Sam gave a small smile, jerking his head back. “Yeah.”

You jumped down onto the boat to follow him, looking over your shoulder and stopping with an amused eyebrow raised as Bucky introduced himself to Sarah. “I’m Bucky.”

“Ah…Sarah.”

“Sarah.” Bucky repeated her name, before walking towards you, a grin still on his lips.

“Careful, Barnes. That playboy Steve warned me about is coming out.” You nudged him with a smirk, ignoring the feeling of your stomach dropping.

He rolled his eyes, kissing your head as he passed you and Sam to go where Sam was gesturing. “Don’t worry, Y/N. You’re still my doll.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, falling into step besides you and lowering his voice. “Conversation?”

“Hasn’t happened.” You informed him through clenched teeth as he groaned.

Sam gave you a list of chores that needed to be done to clean up the boat, giving you a quick tour and letting you know where all the tools needed where. You set to work immediately.

Sanding down, replacing old parts, cleaning, polishing and painting over the things that didn’t need replacing. They didn’t let you do any heavy lifting because of your stupid shoulder, but you were still able to help.

Sam had turned on some music for you to listen to, so you danced around the boat while cleaning. Turning your head when you felt a pair of eyes on you, you smiled when Bucky snapped his head back down to the wood he was sanding down.

“Gonna dance, Barnes?”

He looked back over, shaking his head. “Nah. I’m good watching you.”

Rolling your eyes, you got back to work, continuing to bop to the music, fully aware that he was watching you now.

A little while later, you were repainting the edges of the boat orange, when you looked over and noticed Bucky playing around with a paint scraper…sitting right on the edge that you had just finished repainting a few minutes ago.

“Buck!”

He looked over, eyebrows raised. “Yeah?”

You bit your lip, trying to hold back your mischievous grin. Shaking your head, you waved dismissively. “Never mind!”

He gave you a confused sort of pout, before shrugging and continuing to fidget with the tool. It wasn’t until later when he got up to help Sam tear the metal plating off the edge that it came to light with Sam chuckling and raising an eyebrow.

“Sit in something there, Barnes?”

“What?”

Bucky craned his neck back, eyes widening when he saw the orange paint on his ass, contrasting with his jeans. You let out a cackle and he whipped towards you, pointing at you accusingly, although the small uptick of his lips let you know he wasn’t really mad.

“Y/N!”

“No, no, no!” You laughed, sprinting across the deck, shrieking when he grabbed your waist and spun you around. You gasped when he grabbed a paint brush and painted an orange stripe right down the front of your shirt. “James!”

“Justice, sweetheart.” He breathed in your ear with a chuckle.

You shook your head, wiggling out of his hold. “This is a nice shirt!”

“You should’ve thought about that before.” He smirked, crossing his arms. Your eyes caught sight of Sam behind him, who raised an eyebrow and the bucket of paint he was holding. You nodded with a little giggle, making Bucky’s eyes narrow. “What’s so funny over there, do - holy shit!

You guffawed as orange paint dripped down his head, Sam standing innocently behind him with the now empty bucket behind his back. “Samuel!”

“Oops?”

“I’m gonna kill you!”

“Try me old man!”

“Fuck!

“Doll!”

“Oh my God!”

Paint, orange and white since those were the only cans they had out, flew across the deck, paint brushes being used like fencing swords.

You found out too late that wet paint was a little bit slippery and you slid on a huge puddle, sending you, not onto the ground below, but over the side of the edge into the water. 

“Doll!”

“Cher, you good?!” 

The three of you looked at each other, stunned for a moment, before bursting into fits of laughter and you nodded. “I’m good!”

The boys helped you get back up onto the dock, Sarah appearing with towels she conjured up out of thin air. “Let’s get you into dry clothes. Do you have-?”

“We’ve got some. We got a bag.” You told her with a grin, facing the guys. “You two should clean up some, too. Sammy, you’ve got a little something right there.” You pointed to your cheek, his own having a giant white splotch from his temple to his jaw. “And Buck?” You sniggered, gesturing to the whole of him. “You’ve got a lotta something right there.” 

“Ha. Ha.” He looked down. His top was practically tiger print, drenched in orange with white here and there, and his ass still orange as well. His hair, which had been plastered to his forehead, was starting to dry now, and it only made you laugh some more thinking about what a pain it’d be to get it out. For him, at least.

“God. Can’t even have a relaxing day on the boat with you two.” Sam jested once you finished up and joined him and Bucky, who had just finished dumping out some water buckets. Bucky had changed his shirt and it looked like they tried wiping their faces, but Sam still had small lines of white down his face. “How ‘bout a couple of drinks? Surely you can’t ruin that too.”

“Ruin?” You gasped in mock offence. “Sammy! I just made the day more…interesting.”

Sam chuckled, ruffling Bucky’s hair, which still had orange streaks in it. “Let’s go get some beers.”

************

You chatted for a bit, mainly you and Sam with you asking how Sarah and the boys were while Bucky with your legs in his lap, just listening to you two and sipping at his bottle. You had his hand in your own lap, wiping it down with a rag due to the paint that got on it.

“You’re lucky this is vibranium, you know.” You commented off handedly. “If it was your other one, it’d definitely get stained.”

“And who’s fault is that?” Bucky shot back with a teasing grin.

“Sammy’s.”

Sam spluttered. “Wh-what?! You started it!” You laughed, shaking your head.

Falling into a comfortable silence with just the water and birds chirping as your soundtrack, you downed the rest of your drink, which Bucky took as finished. “Well,” you moved your legs to let him stand up. He leaned forwards to clink his bottle against Sam’s and you stood up and stretched. “Gotta catch our flight tomorrow. Get a hotel room for the night.” Sam gave you a look to which you rolled your eyes at as Bucky set down his bottle and grabbed his jacket. “Crash, you know?”

“So you’re just gonna set me up like that, huh?”

“Well I don’t wanna make it weird for your family.”

“Just stay here.” You laughed as Sam babbled on about how nice the people were here, grabbing the jacket Bucky handed to you. It was getting a bit chilly from the breeze on the water and the sun going down. Plus, that water was cold.

“But don’t flirt with my sister.”

You cackled at Bucky’s face, that turned serious, his head shaking. “No.”

“‘Cause if you do I’ll have Carlos cut you up and feed you to the fish.”

“Can’t hold back the dog, Wilson. It’s been stuck in a kennel too long.”

Bucky turned to you, grabbing your jaw and squishing your cheeks together. “You know what? You need to shush. You’ve been snippy all day.”

You just smiled as innocently as you could with your lips being held by his metal fingers. “You’re too fun to mess with.”

He pecked your nose. “As long as I’m the only one you’re messing with. I’ll be right back.” He let you go and spun around, maneuvering around the boat in a way only a trained assassin could do.

“Oh my God, please! Please just put me out of my fucking misery! You’re killing me, cher.”

“What?” You gaped at him.

“Don’t act innocent!” Sam huffed, giving you a pointed look. “If I have to watch you two make googly eyes at you one more fucking day with neither of you doing anything about it-”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh come on, Sammy-”

“Don’t ‘come on, Sammy’ me! And don’t come at me with that ‘he doesn’t like me back’ bullshit. If you think for a second that boy wouldn’t follow you to the depths of the fucking ocean, you’re blind as a bat, woman.”

You shrugged, pushing up the sleeves of Bucky’s too big jacket. “It just…hasn’t come up.”

He deadpanned, shaking his head and standing up. “That’s it. I’m done. You two are driving me insane. I’m gonna lock you in a room until you have the conversation that needs to be had the next time either of you does something stupid.”

“Yikes. That’s gonna be quick.” At his look, your smile dropped and you nodded. “Okay, okay. I’ll…I’ll bring it up later.”

“Tomorrow or nothing.”

“Sam-”

Sam tilted his head, brow creasing. “Is it still Steve? Is that what this is still about? Because he’s gone, and he’s been gone and you need to get over it-”

“No. It’s not…” You sighed. “It clicked the other day. When we were hanging out. Steve left and, yeah, I might always love him, but Bucky…God…I love Bucky, Sam.”

The man grinned proudly. “I’m glad to finally hear you admit it. So what’s the problem?”

“It’s still complicated, right? I mean…he’s his best friend and I’ve never dealt with stuff like this before and-”

Sam’s smile dropped and he groaned again. “Imma head out. I can’t take this. Dumbass and dumberass. I swear to God.” You sniggered a bit as he grumbled, walking towards the ramp to climb off the boat, just as Bucky reappeared.

“Hey-”

“Nope! Not right now, Barnes! I can’t handle it! I can’t!”

Bucky gave you a weird look. “What’d you do?”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Nothing.”

“Well, c’mon, doll. Sarah said she’s gonna make gumbo for us, whatever that is.” He held out his hand as you walked over. 

“You’re such a city boy.” You teased lightly, taking his hand and letting him help you pull you onto the dock. You shoved the sleeves of his jackets up again since they slipped from the first time. “Let’s go get some dinner. I’m starving.”

******************

“We have the couch and a mattress we can pull out, I just have to make Sam get it from the attic-”

“That’s alright. The couch is fine.” Bucky waved dismissively while you nodded in agreement.

Sarah raised an eyebrow at you two. “For both of you?”

You blinked, exchanging a look with Bucky, before shrugging and turning back to her. “Yeah.”

“Don’t fight it, Sarah.” Sam peeked out from the hall. “They’ve got a weird relationship.” You stuck your tongue out at the man while Bucky rolled his eyes, dropping your duffle bag by the couch. “How mature, Y/N.” Sam mimicked your action.

“Uhm…okay. Let me set up the couch for you then.”

Once everything was set up, you and Bucky thanking her for dinner - delicious and you’d never seen Bucky smile so much, the boys having kept him highly entertained throughout the meal - and for letting you crash, Sam and Sarah headed to their rooms, the boys already having been tucked in for the night.

“Are you gonna sleep on the floor?” You asked quietly, sitting down on the couch and doing the things for your night routine you didn’t already do in the bathroom.

“I think I’ll be okay.” He sat besides you. “I’ve been doing fine the past week or so.”

You smiled at him. “That’s good. Alright.” You stood up and stretched. “Let me just make sure everything’s in the bag and ready-”

You yelped when his arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his chest, shifting down to lay against the couch’s arm. “Do it in the morning.” He yawned, looking up at you tiredly. “I wanna go to sleep.”

“Then go to sleep, Buck. I’ll be right back.” He shook his head, his hold tightening as he sunk deeper into the couch.

“No. I fall asleep better with you.”

You rolled your eyes but grinned, settling down with your legs between his, your chin resting on his sternum so you could still look at him. He beamed, but you could see the exhaustion settling in, and he grabbed the blanket Sarah left over the back of the couch and draped it across your back, over both of your legs, before his arms crossed snugly under the covers at the small of your back.

“Dinner was nice tonight. I haven’t had a meal cooked like that in ages.” You hummed.

He nodded in agreement. “I think that’s the first time I’ve sat around a table with a family since the 40′s.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Did you like it?”

“Yeah...kinda makes me wish I had my own.”

“Your own what?”

“Family.”

You bit your lip, shyly avoiding his gaze. “You’re my family, Buck.”

A light kiss was pressed to your forehead, his fingers bringing your gaze back to his. “There’s no one else I’d rather have.” The room lapsed into silence again, the clock ticking on the wall, the low sound of crickets outside.

“You have really pretty eyes.” You mumbled, tilting your head slightly as you studied them. They always held so much emotion in them, especially in contrast to when you first met him as Soldat. They matched the water you fell in, and you wouldn’t mind falling over and over into them.

“Yeah, well, you’re just really pretty inside and out, so I think you’ve got me beat, doll.” He whispered back.

“You know who else is pretty? Sarah.”

He nodded with a hum. “That’s true. But I meant what I said. You’ll always be my doll.”

“So you’re not gonna ask her out?”

He gave you a weird look as you traced his sharp jawline absentmindedly. “Nah, sweetheart. It’s just…some harmless flirting. Except on Sam’s part.”

You gave a soft huff of laughter. “Yeah…he’s gonna strangle you. It is nice to see you like that, though. Flirty. Relaxed. Happy.”

“You make me happy, sweetheart.” He hummed, nosing your temple. “The road trip helped. I’m learning everything from you. Maybe not the flirting, but the carefree part.”

You blinked at him, finger stopping for a moment as you thought. “Oh…”

You felt his fingers dance up your spine, making you shiver slightly. “What I would give to know what’s goin’ on inside that pretty lil’ head’a yours, doll.”

“I just think it’s funny you’re learning how to be carefree from me…when I just started learning how to do it myself.”

“Oh yeah?”

You nodded, your finger continuing its path down his jaw. “I think it started with the goats.”

“The goats?”

You nodded again, resting your cheek on his chest, watching your finger move up from his chin. Once you got to the end of his jaw, you lightly scratched his scruff. “In Wakanda. Our goats.” You weren’t looking at him, so you didn’t see the way he physically melted at your words, his eyes going soft, his lips turning up slightly.

“Our goats, huh?”

But your tired brain wasn’t really processing what he said, instead focusing on the features your finger was now tracing - over his lips, up his nose. “You’re pretty too, Buck. Did you know that? Inside and out.”

He craned his neck to kiss your forehead. “Go to sleep, cuddle bug.”

Nodding, you nuzzled into his chest, finger feeling over the bumps and indents on the dog tags resting near your head. You tried going to sleep, but you kept shifting, your mind not shutting off.

“Hey, sleepyhead, I’m trying to, you know, sleep.”

“Sorry.” You apologized meekly. “I just…I dunno. I can’t.”

“Are you comfortable?” He peeked open and eye to look at you questioningly. You nodded. “Is it too hot? We can take the blanket off. I know I’m a walking furnace-”

You shook your head. “No. I don’t know why. I just can’t sleep.”

He licked his lips thoughtfully, before cradling your head and guiding you back down to his chest. “Lay down, sweetheart. Relax.” He stroked your hair, moving his head down to rub circles in your back muscles, pressing down harder when he felt knots. 

You hummed, your eyes closing. “That feels good.”

“Shshsh. Just go to sleep.” His lips pressed against your head once more, lingering a bit longer than they usually do, as you felt yourself drift off. You cuddled his side, throwing a leg over his waist, before nodding off, only barely hearing his words. “Attagirl. There we are.”

******************

“Doll?” You felt a shift underneath you and groaned, your eyes barely cracking open. “Hey, sleepyhead…it’s okay. I’m just gonna slip out from under ya, alright? Gonna go help Sammy with somethin’.”

You raised an eyebrow, letting him move you against the cushions as he sat up on the edge of the couch. “Sammy?”

“Yeah.” He bent over and kissed your cheek. You stretched out your limbs, about to rub your eyes, when he stopped you, kissing the inside of your wrists. “No. Not you, doll. Go back to sleep.” 

“Bu’...’m gonna help.” You slurred out, looking at him with confused, squinty eyes.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s okay. Rest. You can help when you wake up again. Okay?” You mumbled out an “okay”, bringing the covers up to your chin and snuggling deeper into the cushions. “There ya go, cuddle bug. Good girl.” There was another kiss, one to your temple this time, before you slipped back into unconsciousness.

******************

The next time you woke up was because of a clatter in the kitchen. You yawned and sat up, stretching, eyebrows furrowing when you realized Bucky wasn’t with you. It took you a moment to remember your conversation, which you half thought you dreamt.

“Boys!”

“Sorry!”

You chuckled at the shouts, rubbing your eyes. “I am so sorry!” Sarah apologized, looking over at you from the stove. Trying to make the boys breakfast before school. Do you want anything? Eggs? Cereal? Toast?”

“Uh, cereal’s fine.” You stretched out your back again, before throwing back the covers and standing up, a little shakily.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where Sam went, would you?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Uh, I think him and Bucky went to fix something on the boat. I don’t for sure, though.”

Sarah groaned. “He probably went to fix the stupid water pump which doens’t need fixing. Dumbass.”

You chuckled, padding over into the kitchen. “Yeah. I just work with him. I can’t imagine growing up with him.”

“Trust me; some days you want to throw him in a box and send him out to sea. Bowls are in that cupboard.”

You snickered, moving over to grab a bowl from the cupboard she pointed to. “That’s how I feel with Bucky. Sam is less often, but when those two get together…it’s a full zoo.”

She laughed at that, nodding as she got out the milk and a few boxes of cereal for you to choose from, handing you a spoon. “That I believe.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

You started pouring your cereal, watching in slight amusement as she got the boys ready for school. “Bus is here! Get out the door! Bye! Love you! Make sure you take those extra lunches to-!”

“Yeah, mom! We know! Love you too!”

You gave a slight smirk as she huffed, looking around the kitchen at the pans and dishes left out. “Kids, huh?”

She gave you a smile. “Yeah. They’re a handful, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. How about you? Any thoughts of kids?”

“Me?” Your eyes widened, nearly choking on your food. “Oh God no. Not right now, at least. I don’t even have a solid house right now. My life’s too off the walls for that.”

“And Bucky?”

You raised an eyebrow as she leaned on the counter. “Bucky? What about Bucky?”

“Does he want kids?”

“Uh…I dunno.” You shrugged, clearing your throat as you remembered your talk last night. “Kinda makes me wish I had my own.” You quickly pushed his words aside. “He hasn’t told me.”

“Wait, wait. You two…aren’t together then?”

You blinked, your eyes widening again. “Together? Me and Bucky? No…why? Did Sam say something?”

Her expression morphed into one of disbelief, crossing her arms. “Sam didn’t say anything. You guys did. Are you seriously expecting me to believe you aren’t together?”

“We’re not! I mean - he was flirting with you yesterday-”

“Right, okay. Honey, that’s flirting. And it’s harmless. The way he follows you like a puppy and you look at him like he hung the stars? That’s feelings. And that’s a lot more impactful than flirting.”

You frowned in contemplation. It was really that obvious? You were really that blind? This whole time? You knew Sam knew - but you just figured that’s because he’s been there since it started. And Sharon knew for the same reason. But Sarah? The woman you just met the day prior and had barely had a conversation with?

“It’s, uh…” You chewed on your cheek, swirling your cereal around. “It’s complicated.”

Sarah didn’t look impressed. “Do you like him?”

“I’m kinda in love with him-”

She shrugged, not letting you finish your bashful statement. “Then I don’t see what’s complicated about it.”

And that was that. She turned to clean up breakfast, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You thought it was more complicated than that. I mean…you were in love with your best friend. Who left you. With the guy you had feelings for who just so happened to be your best friend/crush’s best friend. And now you were completely in love with your best friend’s best friend, but your best friend still had a piece of your heart.

But…you loved Bucky. And he was here. And Steve was not. And when you put it that way…you guess it wasn’t so complicated after all.

******************

You snickered as you walked up behind Sarah, the woman berating the men for not leaving the water pump along like she asked.

“Hi, Sarah.”

Sam shot Bucky a warning look, who grinned, but you were surprised to see Sarah ignore him, sending you a knowing glance instead, before turning back to Sam. “I told you specifically that the water pump was not the problem, and yet, here you are.”

“Yep, Samuel.”

You chuckled, Bucky shooting you a wink. “Yeah, Samuel.”

Sam narrowed his eyes at you, turning to Sarah. “In our defense, you were supposed to be done long before you woke up.”

You nearly facepalmed at his “defensive” and you were trying so hard to hold back laughing as she told Sam off, sending them away.

“I don’t wanna hear a peep from you.” Sam pointed at you, but that only made your chortles come out, and you didn’t even bother hiding them. “She’s a very mean person.”

“It’s tough love.”

You giggled as they started arguing, slipping an arm around their waists, their arms instinctually coming up to your shoulders.

“Oh my God. A prowess?”

“Yes, Y/N. A prowess.”

“You know, maybe if you someone let me help-”

“Hey, woah! You were tired! I let you sleep! I was being nice!”

“Too late now. I’ll be lucky if Sarah lets me within a hundred feet of it!”

“She got you so good, Sammy!”

“I agree with Buck for once! You’re too snippy right now! And c’mon man! Stop flirting with my sister!”

“It’s my natural charm.”

“Charm? What charm?”

“Ouch, doll! That one hurt!”

****************

“Okay.” You stepped out of the bathroom, walking over to the couch and setting the bag down on it. “I’ve got everything packed. We’ve got a little over an hour until we need to head out which gives you two time to go set something up for Sammy and maybe even a bit or training before we leave.” 

Bucky frowned. “You’re not gonna come out?”

“I will in a bit. I just got a phone call I need to take.”

Sam narrowed his eyes. “Government call?”

You gave a mocking smile. “Can you guess what they want to talk about? It’s okay. I’ll survive. It’s only a phone call, so I can always hang up. Pretend I didn’t have good service. I do it all the time.”

“I’m sure you do.” Sam chuckled. “In that case, I’m gonna go grab some stuff and get the shield.” As he walked out, he made sure to mouth at you behind Bucky’s back ‘conversation’ making you swallow thickly. You were planning on talking to Bucky anyways, and with Sam’s insistence…

“Okay, so, I was thinking when we get back-”

“Can I talk to you?”

Bucky stopped digging through the bag, blinking at you in surprise at your sudden burst. “Uh…well, we already are, so yes.” He chuckled, straightening and crossing his arms.

“I wanna have the conversation.”

He was left stunned, once again, his mouth opening and closing and his weight shifting form one foot to the other. “Like…that conversation? R-right now? Are you sure?”

You winced at her nervousness. “Sorry, sorry. I know it’s kinda…I just…I need to talk about it. Now.”

“Okay, okay. No, that’s fine. Don’t apologize. I just wasn’t expecting it.” Bucky cleared his throat. “That’s all.”

“Okay…” You breathed with a small nod. You opened your mouth, but Bucky shook his head.

“I hafta say this first; I didn’t mean to hurt you by telling you about Steve. I-I dunno what I thought. That it’d give you closure or something. I dunno. But it hurt you and I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention.”

“Buck-”

“I was jealous. And guilty. And mad. And upset. I still am. Kinda. I guess. I dunno.” Bucky shook his head, running his hand through his hair and all you could do was gape at him as he started confessing to you. “Remember when we danced? In Madripoor? Doll…I don’t wanna dance ever again if it’s not with you. I fucking love you, Y/N. And not in the way we’ve said it before. I’m in love with you. I have been for-for a while now. I just - you were Steve’s. Steve loved you and you loved Steve and that was that and I was just the broken childhood best friend. But Steve left and he told me to take care of you and I didn’t know what to do with that, because you still love Steve. I think. I dunno. And I didn’t want to break what we have because you’re all I have left of him. You and that stupid shield. You’re my family. My home. I really meant it when I told you that. And that’s why I couldn’t tell you. Because it means too much for me to break what we have because I fell in love with my best friend’s girl. You know?”

He looked at you with pleading eyes, begging you to understand, but your brain was still trying to process what he was telling you.

“Oh God…” He groaned. “And now I just told you everything and you’re looking at me like that wasn’t what you wanted to hear and now I’m thinking this wasn’t the conversation you were thinking it was going to be-”

You were moving across the room before you could stop yourself, pulling him by the teal Henley you knew was comfortable having worn it to bed before when you visited him in New York, and slanting your lips over his.

His breathing hitched and he froze, and for a hot second you thought you made everything worse, but then he was kissing you back and his hands were on your hips and he was pulling you closer and it felt so fucking good you didn’t want to pull back for air.

“Shut up.” You muttered when you finally did pull back, your forehead against his, your eyes clenched shut. “Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.” You pulled back to look up at him, chests heaving against each other, your eyes prickling. “I’m not good at this. I’m not good at opening up. I only ever was good at it with Steve but Bucky…I’ve been doing it with you. This whole time and I didn’t even realize it until the conversation in the car.”

He reached up to cup your cheeks, wiping away the relieved tears that were falling from the weight you were finally getting off your chest.

“I love you. I’m in love with you. How could I not be? After all that time in Wakanda? I was never Steve’s girl, Bucky. I wanted to be. Dammit, did I wanna be, but I wasn’t. Not really. And he’s gone. But you’re not. And I don’t know why it took me so long to see that. That you’re the one in front of me. You’re the one who held me when I needed it once he left. You’re the one that would listen to my rambles that I’m just realizing was most of our phone calls. You’re not just the broken childhood friend. Don’t ever think that. I don’t pick up the phone at five in the morning after searching for a friend until two for just anyone. Even Steve’s best friend. And I’m such an idiot because I’ve been pushing away my feelings all these years for Steve and then I let them out with you at the wrong time, because I love Steve, Bucky, but I’m not in love with him. Not since I fell in love with you. And I know it doesn’t make sense, but Steve was the first one I cared about and that’s just how I feel and I can try to explain, but-”

His lips crashed onto yours again and you could taste the salty tears that were pouring down your cheeks, but you didn’t care. He was holding you and he was kissing you and it was even more perfect than you thought it’d be.

“You’re adorable when you ramble, but Jesus Christ, shuddup, doll.” He breathed. “Just tell me you love me. Tell me you love me just a fraction of how much I love you.”

You looked up into those ocean eyes, your own shining with earnest affection. “James Buchanan Barnes. I love you.”

“That’s all I need to know.” He murmured against your lips, holding your head against his, still wiping away your tears. It felt like with each one that fell, you felt lighter and lighter. Like they were taking away every fear and anxiety you held within you for the past six months.

“Alright! I was thinking we could just set up in these trees out here - holy shit! Is it done? Did you do it? Did I miss it? Has the conversation been had?”

Bucky chuckled as you giggled. “He has the worst timing.” The last two words were loud enough so Sam could hear, although the man heard the whole sentence. 

“I’m gonna take that as a yes!” Sam cheered. “Halle-fucking-lujah! Finally! I was that close to locking you two in the attic.”

You shook your head at Sam’s personal celebration, drowning the rest of his words out as you looked at Bucky, who swept his thumb over your cheek catching one last tear, before pecking your lips.

“I finally get to kiss where I really want to.” He spoke softly, kissing your lips again. “Are you mine, doll?”

“I thought you said I’d always be your doll.” You answered cheekily. He grinned, kissing you again, pulling you against him by the hips.

“Okay, okay! That’s enough! We get it! You’re in love, finally, but I don’t wanna see it anymore! Now will you come help me with this shit?”

Bucky left one more lingering kiss on your lips, before you pushed him away reluctantly. “I’ll be right out.”

He nodded, moving over to help Sam carry the things he’d gathered.

You watched them put it all up from the window, gnawing on your cheek as you spun your phone in your hands. Coming to a decision, you tossed your phone in the duffle bag and walked out with it just as the boys finished.

“That was a quick phone call.” Sam raised an eyebrow.

You shrugged. “Didn’t call them. If they really need me, they’ll find me.”

Bucky grinned as you set the bag down under a tree, pecking your lips when you got close enough for him to grab by the waist to hold you against him. You rolled your eyes, shoving him playfully away and giggling as Sam let out a groan.

“Alright. Let’s see what you’ve got, Sammy.”

~

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Bucky knew he needed the tough love talk Sam was giving him. He needed to hear it. Because, deep down, he had known it all along, he just refused to believe it. He tried doing it. Making amends. He knew he wasn’t though. And of course he knew immediately who that one person would be.

“And hey.” Bucky looked at him. “Let me tell you what. Telling my girl all that you told her? That’s a good start. I’m proud of you. Both of you. You’re already happier. I can see it in your eyes.”

Bucky chuckled, shaking his head as he thought of the gorgeous woman he nearly let slip through his fingers. He looked over to the house, where she was inside somewhere getting ready after suddenly deciding she needed to shower before they left. “I was stupid.”

“Yeah you were. You both were. I’m so relieved it’s over.” Sam nudged him. “Treat her right, Buck. She deserves it.”

“I know…I just hope I can.”

Sam shook his head. “Uh-uh. Don’t do that. You were just starting to use that cyborg brain of yours! She chose you. And before you say anything,” Sam cut Bucky off from speaking as he opened his mouth to object. “She chose you before Steve left. It just took her dumbass this long to realize it.”

Bucky nodded, a small smile on his face. “Yeah…okay…” Before he could say anything, the goddess herself stepped out, jogging over, looking absolutely amazing in her jeans and his t-shirt. “Good talk.”

Sam laughed at his quick ending of the conversation as she came up besides them. “Talking about me?” She asked cheekily, eyes shining. Bucky couldn’t help but take her under his arm, pecking her lips. Now that he could, he didn’t think he could stop. He was addicted to say the least.

Throwing Bucky a wink, Sam shrugged. “Just all the things that get on our nerves.”

“Ha ha.” She rolled her eyes. “We better get going.”

Bucky and Sam clapped hands. “You know Karli won’t quit.”

Bucky smiled. “Ah. You call us when you have a lead and we’ll be there.”

Y/N stepped forwards to give Sam a hug. “Anytime, Sammy.”

“Eh. Anytime between noon and midnight.” Bucky corrected. “Or noon and ten. Noon and five…you better just call at noon to be safe.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Sure, sure.”

“Not necessarily as a team.” Bucky continued, grabbing the bag, getting Y/N back in her spot at his side under his arm.

“Nope!”

“We’re not that good.”

“Definitely not.”

“We’re professionals.”

“Definitely.”

“And, uh, we’re partners.”

Sam snapped, pointing at him. “Coworkers.”

“But we’re also a couple of guys with a couple mutual friends.”

“Ones now gone and you’re dating the other.”

“So we’re a couple of guys…with a badass to help out.”

“I can live with that.”

“Perfect.”

“Oh my God.” Y/N let out that laugh Bucky could never get enough of, shaking her head at the two of them. “You forgot dumbasses.”

Sam shook his head. “Nuh-uh. That’s your couple name.”

“Dumbasses?”

“Oh yeah.” The three of them came to a stop, Bucky and his girl - God he loved confirming it now - facing Sam. “Thanks for the help, guys. Meant a lot.”

Bucky patted his shoulder. “Of course.”

Y/N shot him a wink. “Until we meet again, Sammy.”

“Until then, cher.”

Bucky couldn’t stop his grin as she wrapped her arms around his waist, the two of them starting to walk to the main road where she already ordered an Uber. He looked down at her, kissing her lips for the nth time in the past hour.

“I wish I didn’t wait so long,” he told her seriously. “But I’d wait a thousands more centuries if it meant I get to call you mine.”

She giggled, shaking her head. “You’re such a sap! But…” she moved up to kiss him and his heart stuttered. He knew he had a goofy grin on when she pulled back, but he couldn’t help it. Especially when she laughed again. “I have to agree with you on that, Buckaroo.”

[blackswaneuroparedux]

mariannengraben asked :Are you all right? Or still on vacation? Missing your posts.

I received many concerned messages like yours after I stopped posting for about 5 months. I was quite touched by the well meaning words my followers posted. I appreciated the many kind and thoughtful messages.

Yes, I am fine. Thank you for asking. It feels like I have been on vacation, from Tumblr at least, but my life off grid has been anything but. I feel almost embarrassed to say that I have nothing particularly exciting to report about my absence from Tumblr.

You are are in corporate finance and so I imagine you understand very well when I say how demanding and punishing life on the corporate treadmill can be. I work excruciatingly long hours. And even more just travelling by plane from this capital to that capital until becomes a blur. Checking in and out of hotels that no matter how luxurious start to look the same.

On top of which I got a further promotion and my reward is even longer hours and more stress. The stress is not from the graft of hard work, which is what I enjoy. Rather it’s dealing with egos around the table and biting my nails in frustration at the venality and stupidity of so-called smart and successful people. When I say smart, I mean the highly educated or credentialised.

While high achievement education is great, it tends to limit many people’s view on who should be seen as successful in society and an over-reliance on credentials as a proxy for wisdom.

This rings true at the other end too, where freshest faces off the university conveyor belt just seem so mentally fragile. I am shocked at just how lacking they are in self awareness and devoid of critical thinking. It’s when they start to spout woke nonsense then all my suspicions makes sense. These types never last long and will get spat out in no time at all. No great loss.

The general environs of corporate office culture is empty and soul-draining and full of soulless, power-hungry sociopaths who have shirked their humanity for financial gain and satiate a power lust. It is also occupied by poor unfortunate souls, they are otherwise good people who are unwitting victims of a well-fabricated cultural lie. So why do it? Because I’m unfortunate soul who is also a power hungry sociopath who has shirked her humanity for financial gain and a lust for power. Just kidding. I love the work but hate the hours.

But in my career thus far I’ve mastered speaking in frameworks and talking in lists of three. I’m used to getting emails and calls at all times during the week - firefighting or cleaning up someone else’s mess. I’ve got used to waking up before the sun on most days. I’ve become adept at answering any questions that can catch me off guard. I can successfully bullshit my way through any business topic and appear knowledgeable about things I didn’t know existed. On the plus side, I have more hotel and airline points than I know what to do with.

But most of all, I really appreciate the weekends and the time I can be at home or spend with friends and family. So the past few months off-grid from Tumblr I’ve been quite busy.

I have been travelling since my last post of group trek of hiking and mountaineering in Greece with friends (who were all in the military with me). I spent the summer with my partner travelling to Morocco (rally driving and camel riding in the desert!), and Bali (surf, swim, and s....damn, there I go making lists in threes again as per my work habit ) as well as cycling and hiking and swimming around Monaco, where he lives.

I have been doing mundane things like renovating my Parisian apartment after buying the next door apartment and now trying to make one big apartment, so I can throw proper parties and also host family and friends who want to visit me in Paris. I’ve been doing most of the electrical wiring and other things that need hammering or fixing myself but when I hit a problem I call in the cavalry with some help from others.

I’ve also been perfecting my Chinese language because I was losing it. Before the Covid lockdown I was going to China and Hong Kong often but I haven’t been since then. I can’t rely on what I learned as a child growing up in Shanghai and Hong Kong and so I sought out a native Chinese Mandarin language tutor online to push me and brush up on my language - Chinese is one of those languages that you can lose very quickly if you don’t keep it up, say unlike the European Romance languages which are very easy to retain.

I’ve also had the good fortune to travel and see a lot of opera these past months. Including a trip to the Beyreuth Festival (a controversial new take on Wagner’s Ring des Nibelungen) and also Glyndebourne - which is a family pilgrimage of sorts and the best chance I can see my parents and other older family clan members. I’ve missed out on so much of family events and occasions because of the Covid lockdowns that I’m trying to make up for it (as indeed many are of course).

This also doesn’t include the number of weddings of friends I had to dutifully and happily attended. All good fun.

A lot of my time has increasingly been escaping Paris and heading down to the vineyard. I just love being in the outdoors and in nature.

I haven’t quite gone full Cincinnatus - the famed Roman general and patrician who just gave up his rank and power in the Republic and went back to farming his land - but I have spent more time on my French vineyard. I say my vineyard I really mean the vineyard I co-own with my cousins who along with their French wives actually make the wine and manage the vineyard all year around. I just drop by to muck in with whatever needs to be done on the vineyard. At the end of a hard day’s labour of sweat and toil, there’s nothing better than carousing under a starry night sky with a glass of wine in one hand and a cigar in another and singing local folk songs or telling borderline dirty jokes with earthy French locals.

Currently we are in the middle of the grape harvest - or la vendange - on the vineyard. Needless to say it’s all hands on deck. The pivotal moment of the entire year’s efforts have led up to is finally here. The blood, sweat, and toil of patiently farming the land will finally pay off - or so one hopes. In the days and weeks leading up to harvest, I would sometimes go along with my two talented wine-making cousins when they made daily vineyard visits to sample the grapes, check Brix (a measurement of sugar), and gauge overall grape balance between the sugars, acidity, and tannins. At this time, the weather also plays a critical role in determining when to pick. Heat waves or potential rain showers can cause the vineyard crew to move up or postpone picking. It’s been a steep learning curve but all the muscles aches and pains as well as the callused hands and blistered fingers have been worth it. There’s nothing like rolling up your sleeves and mucking around in dirt and earth.

Anyway, back to Paris and back to work (sigh).

Onwards and upwards. Glad to be back again.

Thanks for your question.

[floral-and-fine]

Making a Home

Bucky Barnes x female reader

Summary: After the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Bucky becomes a househusband to the reader. This was inspired by The Way of the Househusband.

A/n: I suddenly had the urge to write for Bucky, I wrote this, and I had planned to write more but I lost interest. So I figured I'd share what I did manage to write.

Warnings: Some smut

Bucky glared at all the different types of apples displayed on the stand, yellow, green, red, small ones, big ones, he was trying his best to remember which ones were the ones you liked the best. The last time he made a mistake and bought dark red ones, you seemed disappointed but you didn’t complain or bring it up. He wished he had paid more attention to which ones he had brought home that had made your face light up when you took a bite.

The other shoppers in the market kept their distance, especially as Bucky’s brows furrowed and his scowl got bigger. A few people watched him from afar, it wasn’t every day a man with a metal arm wearing all black and combat boots with a knife strapped to his belt was just casually shopping. They all turned away immediately, as his eyes snapped up as if he had some kind of 6th sense and could feel them staring.

Finally, Bucky settled on the small gala apples, selecting a few after a close inspection before putting them in a bag.

For the rest of the shopping trip, Bucky marched with purpose, expertly navigating the aisles and grabbing everything that had been on the list, which he memorized before leaving the house.

The checker with shaky hands tried his best to engage the ex-assassin in a friendly conversation, “G-Good afternoon, did you find everything you needed, sir?”

Bucky didn’t answer, didn’t even blink, simply watched closely as the boy scanned each item. The checker laughed nervously, fumbling with the box of condoms as he rang them up. The kid was probably only about 16, tall and lanky with braces, obviously, he was still in high school getting so worked over something like condoms.

A box of tampons was next in the conveyor belt, “So, um, shopping for your girlfriend?”

Bucky raised a brow, the poor checker grimaced worried he’d crossed some kind of line.

“Wife,” Bucky stated evenly.

“Oh, nice,” the checker sighed, relieved he hadn’t pissed him off. “That’ll be $74.34.”

Bucky paid, and exited. You weren’t really his wife since he couldn’t marry you legally, not without alerting Hydra or the US government, especially considering he was supposedly dead or MIA. The term girlfriend, however, diminished how significant you were to him, it was because of you he was able to have something that resembled a normal life. So as far as he was concerned the two of you were husband and wife.

As he unloaded the groceries and started putting them away, a part of him wished he could contribute more to the household, like get a job, but you reassured him constantly that his love and support were enough.

You had never expected your relationship to unfold the way that it did.

The day you had met Bucky, it was like stumbling upon the meanest stray cat you had ever seen with his icy stare and his clenched jaw, if you had been any closer he probably would’ve lashed out or bolted.

Most people would’ve minded their own business, walked past him without a second glance, or would’ve been too intimidated by his hostile nature to even approach him. But you could tell from the way he carried himself that he was injured, alone, and lost.

In your eyes it was as if he was a puppy or kitten, your big heart was ready to care for him, nurse him to health like you would with an actual stray you’d find in some back alley. It probably didn’t even cross your mind that he was potentially dangerous, the poor man just needed a safe warm place and lots of patience.

Things happened slowly at first, you provided him with a place to stay, food, and company. You attempted to get him to open up, but Bucky didn’t even know where to start. His memories were spotty, to say the least, so much killing, so much guilt. Plus, he was worried about scaring you off once you realized you opened up your home to an assassin.

When the nightmares started, you insisted that he slept with you in your room so you could be there for him. He didn’t sleep in the bed with you, preferring the floor over the soft mattress.

One night, his dreams took a turn for the worse, he was thrashing around on his makeshift bed. You slid out from your bed, joining Bucky on the floor. You ran your fingers through his hair, stroked his cheeks, and whispered comforting words in his ear.

Feeling you beside him, brought him out of the past and back into reality. He was here with you, in your home, safe. He pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you tightly, you were his anchor keeping him from being swept up in the ocean of gore and violence that had been his life. After that night, Bucky trusted you completely and became fiercely loyal.

The next day, you had taken all your pillows and blankets off of your bed and moved them onto the floor beside Bucky’s bed. Neither of you mentioned it, but he couldn’t believe how fortunate he was, you knew what he needed without him having to say a word.

It didn’t take long for the relationship to heat up after that, what had started out as sweet little kisses goodnight soon turned into long sessions of lovemaking on the floor. Surprisingly, or not so surprisingly, sex wore him out, helping him fall asleep faster and stay asleep.

On those nights that Bucky did jerk awake in a panic, you were right there to soothe him, right there to pull him away from the events that haunted him.

Bucky sat the cutting board on the counter and expertly started chopping up the potatoes, carrots, onion, and celery for Borscht.

It was very important to him to try to take care of you the best way that he could right now, he focused on making home-cooked food, keeping the house tidy, and anything else he could to make your life easier.

Digging through the drawers, he finally found the vegetable peeler for the beets. The poor peeler looked like it had seen better days, the blade was dull and it was slightly loose from the handle. Bucky made a mental note to replace it.

Once the soup was simmering in the pot, he wandered into the laundry just as the dryer buzzed. He dumped the clothes into a basket and headed towards the bedroom where he started folding them and putting them away. Shortly after, he got caught up in tidying up the room, putting little things you had left out on the dresser away, and straightening up the bedding on the floor.

Bucky cursed when he heard the broth starting to boil over the pot, rushing back to the stove he immediately lowered the temperature. He stirred the soup and realized that some of the vegetables had stuck to the bottom.

“Honey, I’m home,” you called, entering your small house and dropping your keys and purse on the table by the entryway. Kicking off your ballet flats, you shuffled into the kitchen barefoot. “Smells delicious.”

Bucky frowned. “It's overdone,” he muttered, pushing the food around with a wooden spoon. He looked so cute in your tiny kitchen wearing the apron you bought him.

You chuckled, “I’m sure it’s great, you’re just picky.” You rubbed his shoulders, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. You had to bite your lip to keep yourself from laughing as you noticed the charred bits of vegetables floating around in the soup.

He gave you a half-smile, before serving you a bowl. The two of you made your way into the living room, getting comfortable on the couch.

“How was your day?” He asked.

You made a face and sighed loudly, “Long and boring. How was yours?”

He shrugged, “Normal.”

You smiled, knowing that for Bucky, normal was a great thing. “Thanks for doing the shopping and laundry.”

Bucky shook his head, “It's the least I could do.”

Flipping through the channels you finally settled on a movie, Pearl Harbor.

You stretched out on the couch, hugging one of the cushions to your chest and resting your legs on Bucky’s lap. Absent-mindedly, he started rubbing your feet and playing with your toes as the two of you watched the movie.

Bucky was quick to point out all the historical inaccuracies, and during one particular scene, he even rolled his eyes muttering how ridiculous it is. You laughed and eventually joined in, no longer able to take the drama seriously, instead both of you were joking around and criticizing everything about the movie, not just from a historical angle, but also critiquing the writing and the acting, making each other laugh.

“C’mon, doll,” he muttered, stretching his arms over his head as the credits rolled. “Let’s get to bed. I’ll take care of the dishes in the morning.”

Bucky, who was already dressed in sweatpants and a tank top slipped under the covers as you changed into a big t-shirt. After turning off the lights, you curled up beside him pressing your chest against his back and reaching around to hold his hand in yours.

You inhaled deeply, taking in his scent and with freehand moving his hair away from his neck. He groaned and shifted slightly as you peppered his cheek and neck with light kisses.

Rolling onto his back, Bucky’s hands started roaming your body, moving under your shirt and caressing your sides, before slowly moving higher to cup your breasts. You gasped at the sensation from his cool metal fingertips tracing over your nipple.

You leaned forward, capturing his lips with yours in a passionate kiss, and humming in approval as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. One of his hands moved from your chest down over your ass to your thigh, then guided you to straddle him.

He threw his head back and moaned, as you moved your hips, grinding yourself on his hardening cock. Peering down at him, you bit your lip, he looked so damn good, his dark hair a mess, face flushed, chest heaving, eyes shut… perfection. You pushed his shirt up and lightly ran your nails down his chest.

“Fuck,” he hissed, involuntarily jerking his hips. He couldn’t hold out much longer, everything about you drove him crazy, your soft skin, sweet lips. He could barely even think straight.

Sitting up slightly, Bucky reached into the nightstand drawer pulling out an unopened box of condoms, and literally tore it open.

You giggled, “In a hurry?”

“It's all your fault,” Bucky muttered. “Wearing just a shirt and panties to bed.”

You rolled your eyes, “You mean what I usually wear to bed?”

“I just can’t resist your charms,” he added, kissing you again, before moving to your neck and nibbling against the tender flesh.

You sighed, clinging to him tighter, your clothed sex still rubbing against his member.

He pulled back and tore the condom wrapper with his teeth, before shoving his pants and boxers down hurriedly. Getting the hint, you got off of him long enough to shimmy off your underwear.

Slowly, you eased yourself onto his cock, savoring the way it felt to be stretched and filled. At a casual pace, you started to ride him, lifting and lowering yourself on his shaft, your hands bracing yourself on his chest.

Bucky admired you from below, the moonlight seeping through the curtains making you look absolutely perfect. He was so lucky to have someone like you in his life, someone who was so loving, patient, and understanding. God he loved you.

Bucky’s hands rested on your hips, holding you in place as he started to buck from underneath you, unable to handle your slow pace any longer.

Your fingers slid between your legs, rubbing your clit as Bucky fucked you. Your walls were slick as they squeezed around his length getting closer to your release.

You moaned loudly as you came, your entire body tensed as your cunt throbbed around his cock, before you fell onto his chest limp like a doll as he continued to relentlessly pound into you seeking his own climax.

He shivered, feeling your breath tickling his neck, the little noises you were still making motivated him further. He started panting, his fingers digging into your soft skin, finally, he came biting his lip hard.

Sighing, he took a moment to catch his breath, Bucky tilted his head to the side kissing you gently. Then, carefully pulled out of you to remove the soiled condom, tossing it into the small trash can.

“I love you, doll,” Bucky said quietly.

“Love you too.”

…

Waking up, you felt absolutely giddy that it was finally the weekend, instead of getting out of bed right away like you normally did on a workday, you instead opted to stay in a while longer, pulling your blanket up higher and snuggling closer to Bucky who was surprisingly still in bed with you.

You gave his hand a small squeeze, as you spooned him.

“Morning,” he whispered, voice slightly hoarse. “Did you sleep well?”

“Shhh,” you started, peeking an eye open. “I’m still sleeping.”

“Ah,” Bucky chuckled. “Then I guess I should let you sleep then.” He shifted in bed, sliding your arm off of him and pulling the covers off.

“Don’t go,” you whined, grabbing his hand and using all your might to keep him from leaving.

Bucky tried to give you a stern look, “Do you remember what happened when I fell for that last weekend?”

You nodded, giving him a sheepish grin, “Yeah.” The two of you spent the whole day in bed, only leaving for necessities. “But I think it still turned out to be a pretty great weekend.”

Buck sighed, “I need to mow the lawn, and I promised Mrs. Nelson, I would help clean her gutters.”

Finally, you relented, letting go of his hand and sitting up. You could care less about the lawn, but Mrs. Nelson was the sweetest elderly lady, she was one of the only people who welcomed Bucky into the neighborhood, not intimidated by him in the slightest, treated you and him like you were her own children. You knew how important it was to Bucky to help her out in exchange for her kindness and baked goods.

“I’ll make breakfast before you get to work,” you said, shuffling out of bed.

After Bucky mowed the lawn, you tagged along with him to Mrs.Nelson's, while he worked on the gutters, you kept her company.

“Your husband is just the nicest young man,” she admired. “Reminds me of my husband.” She pointed him out in a photograph on her mantle. “The love of my life.”

You smiled looking at the picture, he was a handsome man like your Bucky, “Yep, there aren’t many men like them anymore.”

“It’s a shame,” Mrs. Nelson nodded in agreement. “Wish I could pay him for his time. He’s been so helpful since he moved into the neighborhood.”

She sat a tray down on the dining table, a teapot, teacups, and pastries rested upon it.

You shook your head, “Buck wouldn’t accept it anyway, he’s not that kind of guy.”

When Bucky finished, he respectfully stood on Mrs.Nelson’s front porch not wanting to bring in any dirt into her spotless home, even with her insisting that she could mop up the floor after. But he explained politely that he was far too sweaty and grimy for a proper visit and would see her later on next week. As payment for his hard work, she handed him a plate piled high with cookies.

“So what did you ladies discuss today?” Bucky asked as you two walked idly down the street.

“Not much, just about how amazingly sweet you are,” you teased.

“Sweet,” Bucky murmured to himself. “I must be a disappointment to assassins everywhere,” he joked.

“Why don’t you go ahead and shower, babe,” you suggested, arriving home. “I’ll make us something for lunch.” He nodded, stripping off his t-shirt as he made a beeline for the bathroom.

Just as you were setting a couple of sandwiches on the small bistro table in your kitchen, Bucky shuffled over, still drying his hair.

“Thanks,” he said, giving you a quick kiss before taking a seat.

The two of you casually chatted as you ate, talking about your plans for the rest of the weekend, about your job, about what plants you'd like to grow in the yard after Bucky finished his landscaping project.

Suddenly, you were interrupted by your cell vibrating. “Hey dad,” you answered your phone, excusing yourself from the table and taking the call into the living room. “I’m good, how are you?”

Bucky stayed at the table, playing with his food and resisting the urge to follow you.

Closing his eyes, he tried his best not to eavesdrop on your conversation, but he couldn’t help feeling curious. He hadn’t met your parents, you talked about them a few times expressing to Bucky that your family wasn’t what anyone would call close-knit.

However, he was curious to know if you had mentioned him, or if your family knew you were in a relationship at least. He trusted you wouldn’t share things about his past, but a part of him worried you were keeping him a secret. He figured his past and who he was might strain the relationship at some point, yet he hoped that you would at least feel comfortable enough letting people know you were in a serious and committed relationship.

“Dad,” you sighed, not bothering to hide how annoyed you were, which caught Bucky’s attention. “It’s not like that, he’s not using me.”

“He’s a great guy, he’s supportive and caring,” you explained.

You paused, groaning as your father continued to lecture you about dating some bum, demanding to know why Bucky didn’t have a job.

“It’s complicated,” you answered. “And in all honesty, it’s not really any of your business.”

Bucky pushed aside his plate, having lost his appetite. He appreciated that you were so willing to defend him, but your father’s concerns were the same worries and doubts that Bucky constantly struggled with since the beginning of your relationship.

Back during his time, it was unheard of for a woman to support the family, and in cases where a man couldn’t provide it was severely frowned upon. He was aware that things were different now, but it was hard to look past his own upbringing, which was still blurry and spotty thanks to Hydra.

He rubbed his forehead, it’s not like getting a job was even an option, he had to stay off the grid, not only for himself but for your safety as well.

Taking his plate, he headed towards the kitchen, scraping off the leftovers into the trash can before setting the dishes into the sink.

Even if he could apply for a job, he wasn’t sure what he was even qualified to do. His only valid work experience was back from when he was a soldier, most of the people who could’ve given him a recommendation were probably dead or senile. And it’s not like he could add Hydra assassin to his resume either.

He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about going into business for himself, to be a hitman or a mercenary, but the thought of killing people for money, especially people who didn’t deserve to die made him sick to his stomach.

“Babe?” you called outstanding beside him. “Everything alright? You’ve been washing the same plate for almost 5 minutes now.”

Bucky shook his head, “I’m fine.”

You rocked on the balls of your feet debating if you should press the subject, usually Bucky just needed some time to work things out. “Why don’t you let me finish the dishes, you made dinner after all-”

“I’ve got it!” Bucky snapped a lot harsher than he meant to. He apologized right away, setting the sponge on the counter and sighing.

“You overheard my father and me, didn't you?” You asked gently. This wasn’t the first time Bucky had struggled with this, and it wasn’t the first time some idiot butted in about your relationship.

He nodded, his eyes downcast, staring at the soapy water in the sink.

“Sweetie,” you murmured softly, resting your hand over his. “You could easily kill my father in at least 6 different ways without breaking a sweat. Don’t let what he said get to you. My parents have the worst example of marriage, so obviously sticking to societal norms didn’t help them any.”

At the mention of marriage, Bucky’s frown grew, and clenched his fist tighter, he couldn’t even do that for you.

Immediately you knew you had accidentally brought up another touchy subject. God, how you wanted to kick yourself for mentioning the whole marriage thing. You took a moment choosing your next words carefully. “If I lost my job would you leave me?”

Bucky faced you, giving you a questioning look, “Of course not, you know that.”

“Right, instead we’d figure out a way to make things work,” you added. “Bucky, I honestly believe our relationship is better than most because we’re together for all the right reasons.”

He peeked over at you, listening to what you were saying carefully as you made your point.

“You’re not just some guy who was looking for a woman to replace his mother, someone to do all the cooking and all the cleaning, just like how I’m not some girl who was looking for some guy to pay all her bills,” you explained. “We’re together because we make each other happy because we care about each other, and we trust each other. So who gives a damn about which one of us works and which one of us does the shopping, none of that is important.”

Bucky sighed, placing his hands on your hips, his head nuzzling against the nape of your neck.

“Y’know, it’s not always going to be like this,” you urged, running your fingers through his hair. “In a few years we both might be working, or both of us might be out of work.” You said, scratching the back of his head gently. “But you know what won’t ever change? How much I love you.”

You could feel Bucky smile against your skin. “God, you’re so corny,” he laughed.

“Yeah, well, I got you to smile didn’t I?”

“You’re such a dork,” he joked playfully, flicking water at you from the sink.

“Hey,” you screeched. “Not fair!”

He splashed you again, more aggressively this time, “What's not fair?”

You laughed, taking the sponge and throwing it at him.

“Gross,” he complained, a smile still lingering on his lips. “I love you.”

The next few weeks went by without a hitch.

After your recent heart-to-heart, Bucky was feeling more secure about everything.

The deck in the backyard was coming along nicely, he just needed to stain it before planting some hydrangeas along the edge, and then the two of you could pick out some patio furniture. He really liked the idea of having a nice outdoor space, probably due to his time with Hydra, having been kept frozen for such a long period of time, and then under the ever-watchful eye of a handler, being outside gave him a sense of peace and freedom.

He ran his fingers through his hair as he pictured a big golden retriever running around in the grass. Lately, you’ve been hinting that you wanted a pet, getting super excited about every dog and cat you came across, subtly mentioning to Bucky how you worried about him being lonely while you were at work, but he remained on the fence about it.

Maybe if it was a rescue he’d be more open to the idea.

Going back inside Bucky grabbed the grocery list from the fridge, his mind was still occupied weighing the pros and cons of having a pet. He wondered if he was more suitable for owning a cat or a dog. He would discuss it with you, but he worried about getting your hopes up and then disappointing you if he had a change of heart.

Getting into the car, he tried to focus instead on what he wanted to make for dinner.

…

Steve grabbed a few boxes of protein bars and a large tub of protein powder before heading towards the dairy aisle for milk. As he pushed the cart along, he saw someone familiar in his peripheral. He twisted around catching another glance at the man, Steve couldn’t believe it, it was Bucky.

Who would’ve susoected that Bucky had been hiding out right under the Avenger’s nose, especially when he had Sam searching the other side of the world?

“Bucky?” He whispered to himself, immediately ditching his cart and following the dark-haired man that just passed who seemed caught up in his thoughts.

“Bucky,” Steve called out louder, the man halted but didn’t turn around as Steve approached him.

Bucky’s eyes widened, his grip tightening on the cart handle. He could feel the life he had made with you slipping from his fingers. His eyes shifted back and forth, trying to decide what to do, a part of him just wanted to take off running.

Steve cautiously placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder and he went rigid.

“Do you remember me?” Steve pressed.

“Yes,” Bucky answered, finally looking at his best friend. So much time had passed, but Steve was still the same, not as scrawny anymore of course, but just as stubborn and reckless.

When his memories started coming back to him, Bucky had felt a tremendous amount of guilt weighing on him. He didn’t think or believe that Steve would be able to forgive him. All the things he had done, the crimes he committed, the government, and the rest of the world wouldn’t be able to look past these atrocities. Yes, he had changed, no longer Hydra’s puppet, but he wasn’t that confident and cocky soldier either. Whoever Bucky was now, was somewhere in between.

“Can we talk?” Steve asked, looking like a kicked puppy.

Bucky nodded, his face void of any kind of emotion despite him being on the verge of a panic attack, “I need to check out first.”

The two men sat silently across from each other at a coffee shop, neither one knew where to start.

Steve had a million questions he was dying to ask. What had Bucky been doing for the past year? Why was he still in New York? How much did he remember about his past?

Bucky was more concerned about how this would affect his life, his new life, if Steve found him it was only a matter of time before the remnants of Hydra would. In the back of his mind, he had feared that something like this would happen. He was fortunate that it was Steve who found him first instead of some Hydra operative.

“So, what happens now?” Bucky sighed, finally breaking the silence. “Are you going to take me in? Lock me up?”

“No,” Steve said, utterly confused. “I want to help you.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes, “I was a Hydra agent, an assassin, I killed people for decades.”

“I know,” Steve said evenly. “But you didn’t have a choice. I know what they did to you, how they brainwashed you.”

Bucky visibly relaxed and Steve smiled, their bond still strong after such a long time.

“Steve,” Bucky started, fidgeting with empty sugar wrappers. “I met a girl.”

[writingfanfiction]

“My best friend’s wedding” - Chapter Three

Pair: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern AU. On the night of their college graduation, Steve and Y/N made an agreement: if when both of them were 30 neither had gotten married, they would marry each other. Three weeks before their 30th birthday, Steve calls Y/N to tell her that he’s engaged. Having been in love with Steve all along, she is going to do all that is in her power to win Steve’s love.

A/N: Loosely based on the movie of the same name.

“My best friend’s wedding” masterlist | Main masterlist

*****

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*****

You saw Steve before he saw you. Taller than most, his hair was a little longer and far more unruly than it usually was. He looked even more gorgeous in the flesh. He was wearing a light blue button down that seemed a number or two too small for him (as always), and navy slacks. When he locked eyes with you, he smiled from ear to year, his perfect teeth on display. You smiled back, not as effusively, because you didn’t really know how to act around him at that moment. It was a strange feeling.

It also didn’t help that you had never been more conscious about your appearance in your life. And you hated that. You hated that you cared about what he would think of your looks. You never cared what people thought about you, let alone your looks. And let alone what a guy would think of your looks. However, here you were, caring if you looked good enough for him to notice, and worrying that a polo shirt and jeans weren’t enough. He walked vigorously towards you while you walked slower than usual, trying to collect yourself. When he reached you, he engulfed you in his arms and literally swept you off your feet. Your carry on slipped from your fingers and he spun you around. You didn’t know if it was because he was doing it in the middle of the airport, if it was because you were feeling all over the place since you spoke on the phone the night before, or if it was just because you were you, but you felt uncomfortable with the whole spinning you around. He put you on the floor again, and said, “Can you believe it? Can you believe I’m actually gonna do this?”

“Not really. No.” You answered flatly, but he couldn’t stop smiling. He then turned his back to you, looking at something in the near distance. You followed where you thought he might be gazing at, and... There she was. Sharon Carter. You didn’t know she would come to the airport as well. She was blond, slim and beautiful. She walked purposefully to where you and Steve were. As she reached you, smiling a big blinding smile at you, you held out your hand for her to shake, but she ignored it and hugged you. What sort of person hugged someone they had never seen before in their life?! You didn’t know how to react to that. You looked rather startled at Steve, but all he did was dorkily give you two thumbs up. You slowly, and awkwardly, managed to put your arms around her, tapping her back slightly. When she finally broke your embrace, she held your hands on hers, and said, “I’m so happy to be finally meeting you!” She was beaming at you. It was almost like she was actually happy to be meeting you. “All I’ve heard, from the day I met Steve is Y/N this, and Bucky that... I’m so glad I’ve finally got to meet one of you!” You couldn’t say the same, so you just forced yourself to smile. Thank goodness Steve was just adoringly smiling at her, because you were sure he would have seen right through you had he been looking at you. She continued, “And I’m so happy you’ll be here supporting us until the wedding!” Supporting us? You blinked. You didn’t know how to respond to that.

“Let’s get your luggage, Y/N.” Steve said as he walked to the conveyor belt where the baggage from your flight was.

Sharon let your hands go and hooked her arm through yours, walking slowly in order to talk to you without being heard by Steve. “Thank you for doing this. For coming for him. You have no idea what this means to Steve. To have someone he loves so much be here for him, when he is surrounded by all of my family and friends... Specially now that Joseph is gone and since Sarah won’t be able to come before the weekend of wedding itself. You know how her hospital schedule can be… Thank you, Y/N. Really.” She paused for a moment, giving you an honest and heartfelt smile before continuing, “It means a lot to me too, that you’re here for him.” She smiled that smile again, and you knew that she meant every word. She truly cared for him, and was genuinely glad you were there for him. You couldn’t really say anything, feeling a tinge of guilt because of what you actually intended to do, so you just nodded slowly at her.

The both of you soon approached Steve, who was taking your suitcase from the conveyor belt as if it weighed nothing. When he put it on the floor, Sharon traded your arm for Steve’s, and gave him a meaningful look. Apparently they had a silent conversation, because Steve nodded and Sharon turned to you again, saying, “I have this monstrous favour to ask of you…” A favour? What could she possibly ask you that she didn’t already have? She was smart, beautiful, rich, and she was marrying the love of your life. “You see, my best friend in the whole world, Maria, tore her ankle ligament during a Krav Maga class.” You blinked. Where could she possibly be going with that? “Would you please be my maid of honour?” She smiled at you apprehensively, although still sweetly.

You were completely taken aback by her request. You wouldn’t have expected that in a million years. You blinked a couple of times, which seemed to be your go to reaction to things at the moment, before you finally managed to say, “Uh. How about promoting a bridesmaid? Someone you know for at least fifteen minutes.”

“Maria has been my friend since we were little girls, if I ever got married, she just had to be my maid of honour. But now she is injured, and I can’t bring myself to choose between one of my other two bridesmaids. The three of us were all roommates in our first year in college, and we became very good friends, very close friends. I can’t choose between one of them. I can’t bear to hurt the feelings of either of them. Besides, you are Steve’s dear friend, it would mean so much for him if you were to be a part of the actual ceremony!”

You looked at Steve. He gave you a sweet, genuine smile and said, “It would mean the world to me, Y/N. Truly. And I want you to be part of the making of this wedding too. I mean, this would practically be you acting as my best woman!”

You fought the urge to scoff at his choice of words and started to answer, “I can be a part of it by doing something else, to be the maid of honour-”

“Please, Y/N.” Steve interrupted you with such a deeply felt plea, which he coupled with such puppy eyes, that you just couldn’t say no. So you nodded by way of an answer. What was wrong with you?! This was a recipe for disaster!

Sharon squealed at his side, slightly scaring you and prompting you to look at her. “Thank you! Thank you very much! You’ll see, by the end of this we will have become best friends!” Her tone was beyond excited. You didn’t understand why. “We should get going, considering we have a lot to do!”

“I, uh, just need to go to the bathroom really quickly.” You said pointing towards the sign indicating the restrooms.

“Oh, of course! We will be waiting for you!” Sharon smiled brightly again. Did this girl ever stopped smiling?!

You left your luggage with the couple and made your way swiftly to bathroom. Once the door closed, you fished your phone from your purse to call Bucky. He picked on the first ring. “How-”

“She is gorgeous. And, the worst, she is nice!”

“The horror!” You were not amused by his sarcastic tone.

“Buck, this is no laughing matter! This is serious! She is sweet, and super considerate of Steve’s feelings! She wants this wedding to be for him as much as it is for her! It’s far harder to break them up if she is nice. Were she a bitch… Plus, she wants me to be her maid of honour!” You said all of that without inhaling any air.

“Uh... I’m sorry, what?”

“Her maid of honour, Buck! Apparently, her maid of honour hurt her foot, and Sharon wants me to be her maid of honour now! You know, because it’s important for Steve to actually have people he cares about being part of the wedding!”

“Damn, she is nice!”

“Don’t go falling in love with her as well!” That was a very disturbing thought.

“I’m not, darling.” He used that tone you had only ever heard him use when he wanted to calm you down.

“Gosh, I really need you…” You sounded both exasperated and desperate.

“I’ll be there tomorrow for dinner, I promise you. I already bought the ticket.”

“I’ll go back to New York and drag you myself if you do not come, Barnes!”

He chuckled before saying, “I don’t doubt you one bit, but I guarantee you that that won’t be necessary.”

You were somewhat calmer now. For some reason he always had that effect on you. “OK. I’m sure you’re super busy editing the next Pulitzer winner or something, so I’ll just let you go. Although, I don’t make any promises about not spamming your phone with live commentary.”

“Not a problem. I’m always amused by it.”

You could practically feel him smiling through the phone, and that made you muster a little smile yourself. “Bye, Bucky.”

“Bye, darling.”

*****

From the airport, Sharon drove the three of you in her BMW to a fancy restaurant for you to have lunch. There you met her parents, Amanda and Harrison Carter. They were extremely nice to you, already knowing quite a lot about you from what Steve had told them. They showed an interest in your research, not finding communication to be an unworthy field, like so many people you encountered, and, more than showing an interest in what you did for a living, they showed and interest in who you were. You could also see that Amanda and Harrison were themselves in love with Steve, and you wondered how they weren’t freaking out about the fact that their only child was marrying someone she had just met. When you told your parents about Steve’s impending nuptials, they were far more freaked out.

You also had to witness the disgustingly enamoured state in which your best friend and his fiancée were, telling you little anecdotes about their time in Italy. You had to constantly fight your urge to text Bucky to give way to your overwhelmed feelings, an urge that came practically every five minutes. You tried to focus on the fact that he had a deadline for the next morning, so you couldn’t bother him again. All things considered, you were doing pretty well after lunch, since you had managed to not even once try and reach Bucky since your call earlier that day.

After your meal, Sharon informed you about a dress fitting you had to attend, and you discovered Steve had his own separate plans for that afternoon, even though he didn’t disclose them to you. You didn’t like that one bit, but you assumed it was because he couldn’t see Sharon’s dress. You were most definitely not looking forward to spending time alone with her. You once again fought the urge to text Bucky to complain about your afternoon predicament and got into Sharon’s car. She was soon talking to you. “I want to thank you again for doing this. For being here for Steve. You are truly a great friend.” She quickly looked at you and sent you one of her sweet smiles.

“I try to be there for my friends,” you stated firmly, letting her know you were quite serious about that. And you weren’t lying. You tried to always be there for your friends, and you were there for Steve. Which was why you had to break up his engagement. He barely knew this girl, he couldn’t marry her! It was absurd to be this reckless with one’s own life! This wasn’t just about you losing the love of your life!

“Oh, I know. Steve told me that.” She was quiet for a moment. “I have to say, you were the person in his life that I was dreading the most to meet.” You frowned, puzzled, but she didn’t see that, since she was focused on the road ahead. “You see, he told me everything about you. About your impact on his life, your importance to him, your history together... And he absolutely adores you! You should hear how he talks about you! I was so intimidated by you!” Well, good! You didn’t say that, though. “You were actually the only thing that gave me a moment’s pause about this marriage.” You we’re all attention at that, feeling a tinge of smugness that you made the greatest of efforts not to show. “I had to face all my competitive drives, because you are this extraordinary woman who has been in his life for so long, and who will always be there. In his life, in his mind and in his heart. The perfect creature he loved for all those years. He’ll always talk about you, it’s only natural. I mean, you are his dear friend, and I can see why, both from what he told me and from what you are doing for him now.” She paused again and inhaled deeply. “But then I realised that there really is no competition between us, and that I can’t compare myself to you. You are his friend. And I can’t change that. I don’t even want to change that. I am not you and I will never be. And I figured: that’s OK. That’s more than OK. Because at the end of the day, he effectively chose to be with me, right? And if he did, why should I be the one boycotting myself? Right? I am not you, but I don’t have to be. I only have to be me. And meeting you just cemented all of this in my mind, because it is what it is. He is right to adore you, by the way. You are here on less than 24 hours notice, you are making friends with me, with my parents… You agreed to help with planning the wedding. You agreed to be here for him because he needs you... I feel foolish that I even felt competitive, that I even felt intimidated.” She sighed and took advantage of the fact that she had to stop at a red light to look at you.

You were rather shocked by her speech and its sincerity. You could also see the truthfulness in her face. She wasn’t saying all of that because she was mean and she wanted to gloat that the guy chose her over you, and that he chose her precisely because she wasn’t you. No, she was opening up to you because she was one of those crazy people who wore their hearts on their sleeves, and probably because she was doing what she wished for: to become best friends with you. As the light turned green and she drove forward, she started talking again, “I’m sorry. I feel like I just over shared. You’re probably uncomfortable, right? I mean, we only just met, and here I am, pouring my heart out to you.” She sounded concerned.

“It’s OK. You’re on a tight schedule here, having to convey the most about you in bare minimum discourse.”

She chuckled a little bit, nervously, and said, “Exactly. How else are we supposed to become best friends until the wedding?” She gave you another of her endless supply of smiles and parked her car. A valet came to collect it, opening the door for her. Someone else opened your door for you.

You both proceeded to the big bridal store Sharon had parked in front of, but you couldn’t say anything else about what you were discussing in the car, because as soon as you crossed the store’s threshold you were practically assaulted by a young woman who came out of nowhere. You put your hand over your scared heart while she said, “It’s the bride! And the woman she’ll never live up to.” Apparently Sharon had confided in her the same thing she had just confided in you. The young woman had long, curly, dark brown hair, grey eyes and she wore a pair of black frames.

“Darcy! You can’t go jumping on people like that!” A second woman approached you, in a far more socially acceptable manner. She had long, straight, medium brown hair, brown eyes and a bone structure most women envied. She put her hand out for you to shake and introduced herself. “Hello! I’m Jane Foster, this socially inept person is Darcy Lewis. We are the bridesmaids.”

“I am socially inept?” Darcy scoffed.

You shook Jane’s hand and proceeded to shake Darcy’s also. “I’m Y/N.”

“Combining this,” Darcy gestured vaguely at you, “With all I heard about you, there’s most definitely reason to feel intimidated and threatened.”

“Darcy!” Jane scolded her, but Sharon only laughed. Jane turned to you again. “I’m told you’re a professor at NYU.”

“Well, an assistant professor.”

“It sounds great! I’m going into academia too. I’ll start my PhD in astrophysics at MIT next September.”

You were impressed. “Congratulations! I wish you best of luck. It’s a pretty arduous path to undertake, though. I’m speaking from experience here.”

“Yeah, I-”

“OK, nerd talk is officially over. We have some dresses to try on…” Darcy turned Jane around and pushed her further into the store. Jane said something to Darcy about her being rude while you followed after them.

After the four of you exchanged pleasantries with the staff, Sharon asked for the dresses she had preordered. “I hope you don’t mind, Y/N, but I found a couple of dresses I thought might suit you all.” You told her it wasn’t a problem and waited for the saleswomen to bring the dresses. You didn’t really care, specially since you were hoping you wouldn’t actually have to wear it, as you didn’t want that wedding to take place.

Soon, a petite blond woman came carrying in her arms one of those hangers with a cover. She held it as if it were her infant child. You assumed that was the bride’s dress, considering the care with which she carried it, but she came in your direction and gave you the dress. She smiled at you, and said, “This is a silk chiffon Elie Saab haute couture piece.” She told you that excitedly, as if you knew what she was talking about. You just blinked at her. You could see in her face that she didn’t get the reaction she was expecting out of you. She went on, “It actually hasn’t officially come out yet, it will be shown for the first time during the next Paris Fashion Week.” That you understood. It meant you couldn’t afford it.

You were in the process of saying exactly that and giving the dress back to the saleswoman when Sharon put a hand on your upper arm and said, “I’m buying all the bridesmaid’s dresses.”

Before you could protest, you heard Darcy say, “Yeah, because no bridesmaid can afford to dress for the wedding you want!” The saleswomen looked shocked by her bluntness, but neither Sharon nor Jane were fazed by it.

“Sharon, I couldn’t possibly accept it.” You wanted to break up her engagement, sure, but you didn’t want her to spend a small fortune with you as well. Even if that most likely wasn’t considered a small fortune by her.

“It’s the least I can do after all you are doing for Steve and for me. Seriously.”

“Shar-”

“Steve warned me you don’t like feeling as if you didn’t earn something, so I tell you this: you earned this dress by being such a great friend to my fiancé.” She smiled once again. Why did she have to be so nice?! You were trying to break up her engagement! No one could be this nice to someone they met only a couple of hours before! “Besides, you can’t say no to a bride!”

You knew there was no arguing with her, so you answered, “Fine. But I won’t be happy about it!” You heard her chuckling as you went to the dressing room. Once in there, you carefully took the cover off the piece. It revealed a long, strapless and maroon dress. Not to mention beautiful. What surprised you the most about it was that it actually looked like it matched your personality. And you didn’t even like dresses. You were torn between loving it and hating it. Hating because it seemed like she understood you. You finally put it on, finding that it looked absolutely spectacular on you. It fitted you perfectly. The only thing that would have to be fixed was the hem, otherwise you would have the risk of tripping. You were adjusting the skirt to get out of the dressing room when you saw the dress had pockets! Pockets! It was the best dress you had ever worn in your life! You felt a little ashamed to be feeling like this over a dress. And guilty, because the dress was going to be purchased by a woman whose engagement you hoped to break up. You inhaled deeply and left the dressing room.

Sharon and the saleswomen seemed to think that you looked fantastic in that dress. After complimenting you, Sharon asked, “Do you like the color?”

“I think it’s beautiful. The colour and the dress. The hem needs some adjustments, though.” You knew all of them could see that, but you just had to make that tiny criticism of sorts, otherwise you would do something foolish, like saying it perfectly conveyed your personality. Just then you saw Darcy and Jane coming out of their dressing rooms. Their dresses weren’t maroon, but rose gold, and while they were identical to each other, their design was very different from yours. You turned to Sharon. “I thought the bridesmaids all wore the same dress.”

“Not you. You wouldn’t be comfortable unless you were distinctive.” Sharon answered nonchalantly while she helped the store’s seamstress with the hem.

You were really surprised about her statement. And you knew who knew you well enough to have informed her of that. “What else did he tell you?”

Sharon rose from the floor, looking a little embarrassed. “You’re not up for anything conventional... Or anything that’s assumed to be a female priority... Including marriage or romance or even…”

“Love?” Sharon nodded. “That’s why Steve and I were the wrong fit right from the start.…”

“He said that too.” That hurt. That really hurt. Because you said you were a wrong fit because of timing. Because you were all of what she said and he had been a romantic from the start. But things had changed for you. You weren’t conventional, sure. But you loved him and you wanted to marry him. Bucky had known that and said as much the evening before. You would have to show Steve that things had changed. That yes, you weren’t conventional in matters of love and marriage, but it wasn’t like you weren’t up for it. Sharon kept talking, taking your attention away from your own musings. “I thought I was like you, and proud to be... Until I met Steve. Then I found I was just a sentimental schmuck... Like all those flighty nitwits I’d always pitied. It’s funny, huh?”

“Hysterical.” You responded humourlessly, but she didn’t catch your tone.

“And now, I’m a little over a week of becoming Steve’s wife! I’m gonna share my life with the most wonderful man in the world.” She smiled an adoringly and loving smile at the prospect.

You gave her a flat smile of your own in return while the seamstress told you she was done marking your hem. You excused yourself and went into the dressing room to change back into your clothes. While you changed, you overheard Sharon’s conversation with her friends.

“How was Steve’s interview, by the way?” Jane asked. You were curious. What interview was she talking about?

“He’s on it as we speak. But I hardly think the MFA wouldn’t want a chief painting restorer such as Steve,” Sharon answered. Steve was being interviewed for a job at the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston?!

Darcy spoke next. “You are very lucky. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a guy in real life who left his job and his whole life behind and moved states just to be with his new wife because she hasn’t finished her master’s degree yet.”

Wait, Steve was moving to Boston?!

*****

Previous chapter | Next chapter

*****

Taglist: @winterdrag0n.

[hotchnerxo]

Our Past Life: Chapter 15.

Pairing: Aaron hotchner x fem!reader

Story Summary: You and Hotchner go way back, but haven’t seen each other in years. Until he finds you inside of his office one day, out of the blue. The old flame is to spark again, but the world keeps on pushing the two of you apart. Can it keep you apart, this time for good?

Chapter Summary: You and David investigate Aaron's car before going to the Bureau. The director and Cruz fill the team in about Project Azure.

Words: 2k

Warnings: Swearing, angst. Some violence.

A/N: Early update! Woop Woop! Altho, there is angst! Next chapter will be out before Monday 14th

~

Chapter 15.

If darkness was a sound, it would be deafening.

He wasn’t sure why we could hear what darkness around him felt like, but he’s sure it can’t be normal. He wasn’t sure how long it’s been that way, either. It could be hours, days even.

He tries to check up on his body to get some insight of what’s happened. Every joint in his body ached but the pounding in his head was the worst. His tongue felt dry and uncomfortable in his mouth and a drop of water would feel like a gift from God himself. The whole time he’s been in here – wherever the hell ‘here’ is – he hasn't had anything to drink nor eat. What he’s able to gather from that is the fact that he hasn’t been ‘here’ for no longer than four days, but it is getting pretty close to that. After the 4 day mark, he would not be conscious any longer, and slowly dying from dehydration.

It all happened too fast for him to realize what happened. He hasn’t seen anyone in what feels like years. He’s heard nothing, seen no one. The last thing he can remember was getting out of his car for some reason and the next thing he knows is endless darkness.

And even if his eyes were a long time ago adjusted to the loss of light, there’s nothing to see. There are no recognizable shapes or objects, just empty space for as far as his eyes can see. Where the hell is he?

~~

The sun had started to show itself as the plane was about to land. Almost for the whole duration of the flight, you’ve just stared out of the window. You’ve let your mind wander to whatever and your thoughts seem to revolve around your boyfriend at the moment. And you decide to let yourself feel those emotions, you don’t want to bottle it up and end up exhausted when he needs you. So, you worked on those during the flight and that way be as helpful as you can to the team.

You rush out of the plane the moment you’re able to. Navigating your way to the luggage claim and you weren’t surprised as dozens of people got their bags before you. As if the whole universe was against you. You’re about to curse the universe for screwing with you, you notice your bag being lifted to the conveyor belt.

The wheels of the suitcase rasp on the floor and your steps echo as you walk. Your body feels exhausted, but your mind is everything but calm. You try to find your way out and figure out where Rossi would be waiting for you. But for your luck, you spot the man out of the crowd quickly.

“Got everything with you?” he makes sure and offers to take your suitcase out of your hands. You could cry out of appreciation of that simple offer, altho, anything seems to be enough to bring the salty tears back. You nod in response and the two of you head out of the main doors. “How are you holding up?”

You’re not sure how to answer. You’ve cried and panicked so much during the last few hours and they’ve left you exhausted. You’re not sure how to feel or what to feel; at the moment you just exist.

As it takes awhile for you to answer, it’s an answer on its own to David. “We’ll find him” he tries to reassure you and you try to stay optimistic. You once again end up nodding as an answer. “We have some new information” he tells you and it gets you hopeful.

“What is it?” your voice sounds hoarse and it confuses you. You just then notice how dry your throat and mouth feels, you’re not sure when was the last time you’ve drank something.

David fills you in about the surveillance footage and that there is a case he’s been working on that may have some answers. You’re glad that there’s a lead, but your heart breaks, as your worst fear is reality; someone did something to him, to hurt him. “His car is still here. Do you want to come with me to take a look?” Rossi asks softly.

“Yes, please”.

It was true, his car was neatly parked at the same spot you left it on Sunday. It was just waiting there, waiting for its driver to return, to take it back home.

“Don’t touch anything” he instructs you and puts on light blue nitrile gloves. The car doors are unlocked and the agent opens the door with ease. Your heart aches as it feels like just a moment ago Aaron was holding your hand over the middle console as he drove. Over the middle console that agent Rossi was now investigating, trying to find something useful.

After a minute or two –you’d lost track of time– Rossi backs out empty handed and disappointment written all over his face. A deep sigh passes through his lips, but something catches his attention once he closes the car door. He kneels down and reaches under the car. Once he gets up, he shows you a black device that looks awfully a lot like Aaron’s iPhone. Only difference is that it’s completely shattered. The screen is basically glass dust and the back of it is bent. Someone’s used a lot of force on the poor phone.

“Rest of his belongings are still in the car” Rossi thinks out loud before calling a crime scene investigation team, just in case. They arrive surprisingly fast, but it makes sense as the case is about someone as respected as Aaron Hotchner; there is no time to be wasted. “Let’s get to the office. You must be exhausted”.

He couldn’t be more right. It’s been over 24 hours since you’ve been able to sleep and the amount of tension and anxiety inside you is more than exhausting. You climb up to the black SUV as David puts your bag in the back seat.

David is a confident driver and switches between lanes with ease. Neither of you say a word, both of you so deep in thought to even remember the other’s existence right now. The seat is surprisingly comfortable, altho anything after the plane seats would feel like clouds. You stare out of the window, buildings and cars passing by but none of them fully register in you.

Once you’ve made it to the bureau, Rossi hands you a visitor’s pass. You’ve had it once before, so you go to hang it around your neck like you did months ago. “Are you ready?” he breaks the silence once you’ve entered the elevator.

“As ready as I’m ever going to be” you sigh.

~

Aaron wasn’t sure when his eyes had closed; it had made no difference in the darkness. But he will never forget the moment his eyes flew open. It all happened so fast.

It all started with a high pitched ringing, which reminds him awfully a lot like the tinnitus he’s had on and off for years. Although, the source of this wasn’t inside his own head. The next moment a set of bright white lights were pointed at him, making him momentarily blinded. And just seconds after, his whole body goes to shock as ice cold water is poured over him.

After such sensory deprived days, every nerve in him is now painfully awake. His eyes were dry and burning, his ears were ringing and buzzing. Every muscle in him was shivering from cold and exhaustion. He realizes being on his knees with his hands behind him. He was sure something was holding him up, there was no way for him to stay like this on his own. But he is too out of it to know what that something is.

Someone’s talking. Aaron hears a voice coming from somewhere, but the pain in his ear is too much to let him focus on anything else. Just seconds later he feels his whole body whirl to the left from impact to his face. It leaves his jaw aching and his teeth sore. A big hand grips on his face and tugs him back up straight. “I asked, do you know who I am?”

Aaron looks towards the source of the question, but the room is too bright for him to see more than a dark figure in front of him. “No” he croaks and regrets speaking immediately due to the rough, dry pain in his throat.

“You will” the voice continues, and everything goes dark again. The ringing ends, the lights go out but the pain still remains.

~

“I’m so glad you’re here” Penelope greets you the moment the elevator doors open. It always makes you smile to see her pop of color wherever she goes –today it is light blue and it’s like a bright sun in the middle of the beige walls. She wraps you in a big, tight hug and it’s exactly what you needed, yet at the same time you try to fight back tears.

“Thank you for the tickets.” you appreciate the warmth and comfort she brings, but you’re eager to continue and keep yourself moving; find Aaron. So you part from the hug sooner than you would have liked. “Is there anything new?” you ask and David’s waiting to be filled in as well.

With clicking heels she leads the way through the glass doors and towards the conference room “The director just arrived, she said that she has some information”.

The director? This really is serious. You gather the rest of your strength and enter the conference room behind David and Penelope.

The team greets you with soft, compassionate smiles but then turns back to the dark woman in a suit, who you expect to be the director. There’s another man next to her, who’s a bit taller than the director. He introduces himself to you as Section chief Cruz. It’s odd to now have a face to put behind Aaron’s stress and frustration, but you push past that –for now.

“Everyone’s here?” the director asks the team and sees them nodding. She then begins to talk about a case she and chief Cruz have been working on. Apparently there’s been an undercover operation that was in danger of being compromised, putting multiple agents at risk. Agent Hotchner was asked to help out as a fresh set of eyes and he provided some helpful information and ideas. “Last night the project Azure was successfully finished, agents got back home safely and some dangerous people were caught off the streets”.

“Is there any way they could be behind Hotch’s disappearance?” Morgan asked across the room.

The director continues “It is very unlikely. Agent Hotchner’s name was never mentioned anywhere and no other knew about him participating but me and Cruz. We’ve also had eyes on the main players for weeks now and they were nowhere near Agent Hotchner at any point”.

The desperation is starting to kick in. You drag yourself towards the couch, put your bags next to it and slump down on the leather seat. You bury your face in your hands and come to realize how exhausted you really are. Everything feels too overwhelming right now and you’re not sure if you can fit any more information in your head right now. Even if you’re not that far away from the agents, you’re glad to be alone for a moment. The ‘case talk’ and all the terminology used is exhausting to listen to and the darkness of it clouds your head.

“We have them in custody. You’re more than welcome to join the interrogations” chief Cruz suggests and it doesn’t take long for Agent Jareau and Rossi to follow the two agents away from the conference room.

Taglist: @ssahotchsbitch @mayasreadingnook @rousethemouse @averyhotchner @ssamorganhotchner @kajjaka @reidsbookmark @thenewnormalforensicator @wheelsupkels @thedancingnerdmermaid @agirlinherhead @tonystarkscumslutz @haley-h0tchner @ashhotchner @itsmytimetoodream @marvel-mars @witchybitch2 @mintphoenix (let me know if you want to be included)

[formenis]

Hi there! I can to request a one shot where the reader is jealous because BB has been looking at someone too much or something like that. Please and thank you!

Yes, of course dear~ I love writing B ♥

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TITLE: SIGHT

pairing: Beyond Birthday x jealous!gn!reader

|| warning: major spoilers of the novel "The Los Angeles BB murder cases" / jealousy / slightly yandere behaviour / a not very healthy relationship ||

When B left the Wammy's House on May 2002 for the States he felt a bit out of place: he was alone in a foreign and far country. Luckily that feeling lasted less than five minutes once at the Los Angeles airport. He had only one goal in mind: to surpass L, the greatest detective in the world, as the "World's Greatest Criminal," giving him a case that B hoped he would be unable to solve.

June just started few days ago when B's life changed in a way he would never imagined. He was in a beauty store, he needed to buy a new foundation and few eye pencils in order to maintain his heavy mask of L's lookalike. B was waiting for his turn at the cash register and he was the only boy there.

All the girls (and women) were secretly looking at him trying to understand if those products were for him or for a female partner or relative. And maybe the oldest ones were mentally insulting him because "boys should not wear makeup". As if B read those thoughts he turned his head towards those women to glare at them: his dull black eyes always made people look away in fear. A voice, however, distracted him.

«Sir? It's your turn»

B looked in front of him once again and noticed the cashier was right so he walked closer to them, scattering the products on the conveyor belt. The cashier, someone with H/C hair and S/C skin, smiled kindly at him while doing whatever a cashier did, B didn’t care and looked away just to read people's names above their heads.

«Sir? If you're interested, we have a lighter shade of this foundation»

At those words B turned to look at the cashier one more time. Since L was really pale, lighter was better.

«Really? I saw nothing at the display cabinet» B replied with a raised eyebrow but the cashier couldn’t see it since his face was partially hidden by a cap.

«It's because we hadn’t the time to organise it but it is available. Do you want to see it?»

«Yes»

The E/C coloured cashier nodded at him and whispered something to a girl next to them. In few instants that girl opened the register next to them so the other clients could pay for their shopping there.

In the meantime, B thought about his plan: everything was perfectly set (the crime scene, the Wara Ningyo, the victim's name and his cover), nothing will go wrong. He smirked at the perfection of his project, he couldn’t be more satisfied.

«There it is, sir. Do you want to try it?» the cashier came back, in their hands a tiny bottle of foundation way lighter than the one B chose before. The once L's successor nodded and extended his right hand so the cashier could apply a small quantity of foundation on it, with circular motions.

«The ideal is to test the product on the side of your jaw but I believe this shade suits you well, sir. It's almost invisible on your hand»

B, however, wasn’t focused on the foundation in that moment. When the cashier's fingers touched his hand he felt a strange sensation. It was like…flames, as if he touched the fire with bare hands. He wanted…to feel it…once again…

«You're right, I think I'll take this» B masked his emotions with a fake smile and the cashier nodded at his reply. While they were busy with his products, B's eyes couldn’t look away from his right hand. The foundation was still there and he caressed it with the thumb. Something about that simple gesture upset him…in a positive way, maybe?

«It's $22.13, sir»

Without saying another word, B payed for his shopping and left the beauty shop. Before leading back home, he glanced inside the shop. He could read above the cashier's head two words: Y/N L/N. And then a date.

"Your death is so far from now, Y/N…you're lucky".

.

.

.

It was August 2002 and Believe Bridesmaid was already dead. B was rather satisfied about his job, nobody interrupted him during the murderer. Not even when he re-dressed the victim after the post-mortem mutilation.

Something, however, didn’t go as he planned. This "something" was Y/N. A part of B's brain yelled things like "Don’t distract yourself!" or "Focus on L not them"; but the other half pushed him to know Y/N more. He went in that beauty shop as much as he could even though he didn’t buy anything.

Despite his unique personality, B and Y/N started to get along. Poor Y/N ignored the fact that more than once B followed them home and he even spied on them different times.

«Ryuzaki! Did you hear?» an afraid Y/N appeared from the service entrance of their beauty shop. It was a sort of habit for B (or Ryuzaki as he introduced to Y/N) to join them after work.

«Hear what, Y/N?» he asked while putting his hands in the pockets of his faded jeans. Even though he always walked hunched over he was still taller than Y/N.

«A famous writer died!» they put the shop's keys in their bag and started to walk back home with Ryuzaki beside them.

«Yes, I heard that. It happened few weeks ago, right?»

Y/N nodded, they seemed quite shocked. «I read all his books, I can't believe someone killed him»

«Yeah…Los Angeles is becoming a dangerous place»

.

.

.

August 4th was close and B had to kill again. He managed to realise all the riddles and the three Wara Ningyo he had to leave on the scene. However, something was missing: the victim itself. He decided he would take advantage of a walk he wanted to take with Y/N. They needed a break from work and B suggested to spend some time at the park.

Once surrounded by peace and trees, however, Y/N noticed something strange on Ryuzaki. Something that made them…boil with jealousy.

Since the moment they met Ryuzaki at the beauty shop, Y/N felt something for that strange "un-private" detective. They didn’t care about his peculiar behaviour or particular taste about food: his deep black eyes, the way his thin lips curved in a smile each time he saw them and his intellect…he knew so many things, Y/N wondered where he studied all that.

Ah, poor Y/N. They were completely unaware of Ryuzaki's real self. They knew the pale, slouched "un-private" detective and not the bloodthirsty and ferocious serial killer.

They admitted they started to feel…attracted by the man. Y/N didn’t know it was simple friendship or…something else.

Back to the park, Y/N noticed a strange attitude of Ryuzaki. Since the two of them started to walk towards the park, the man was staring intensely at all women (and even men) that passed next to them. It looked like he was searching for someone in particular.

«Are you alright Ryuzaki?»

The un-private detective turned towards Y/N and smiled. «Yes Y/N» and then he came back at staring at people as nothing happened…as if Y/N wasn’t there with him.

He looked at people down on with such intensity that Y/N had the feeling he was imagining something in his head. He even smirked from time to time.

«I wish you would look at me in the same way…» Y/N said in a whisper.

«I don’t know what that was about, but I love seeing you all riled up» at that answer Y/N turned towards him. Did he hear them?

Ryuzaki was looking at them with curiosity, a thumb over his lips. The wind messed up his (already ruffled) hair and his weird sitting position - with his knees pulled up against his chest- made him bigger than usual.

Y/N's cheeks turned pink and looked away embarrassed. Geez, Ryuzaki heard them…

They were so focused on their gaffe that they didn’t notice the man moved an arm around their shoulder in a cute attempt to hug them. That gesture took Y/N aback but hugged him back almost immediately, sensing the intoxicating scent of strawberry jam of his clothes.

«I would never reserve that kind of look on you, Y/N. You're far too…» and B paused, trying to find the right word to not to make them suspicious about his behaviour. «…important for me»

Y/N silently sighed in relief and stood trapped in the hug for a while. They were unaware, however, that B found the person he was searching for: Quarter Queen, August 4th 2002. At that sight he grasped with force at Y/N's shoulder…finally, his second victim.

Y/N interpreted that grasp as a gesture of Ryuzaki to remark what he said before, that they were important to him so they didn’t notice the strange, dangerous look on his face.

«Trust me, Y/N…you don't wish to be looked like that by me»

[itsthemoofacewriting]

The very first night

This is for the SaNa Day Gift Exchange event me and ray are running over at @sanamievents! I love the film ‘Hitch’ and the moment I saw the prompt ‘blind date on valentines’, I couldn’t not do this (also, hands down one of the best romcoms). Besides, with speed dating you don’t know who you’ll see that evening, so although I’ve stretched it slightly, it’s technically not cheating?

This is for my lovely giftee, @yumedarling!

Summary: Speed dating was not Nami’s idea of fun but she was there to make sure Robin would be okay. Which was why she was blindsided by the smooth talking, suit wearing chef sat opposite her. Rating: T

This can also be found on AO3 and FFN. 

Enjoy! 

In all honesty, Valentine’s Day wasn’t something Nami gave a lot of thought to. Sure, she’d spent it with people before and she wouldn’t say no to the attention lathered on her from her partner at the time but she also didn’t lose sleep about being single on the day and staying home by herself.

Hence why she wasn’t thrilled about this arrangement.

“It’ll be fun,” Robin said, smiling patiently.

She wouldn’t be saying that later when they had bags over their heads and trapped in some random guy’s basement.

Okay, fine, she was being dramatic and maybe a bit mean, she knew that, which was why she kept the sarcastic thought to herself. Robin actually seemed a bit excited, she knew the older woman didn’t have the chance to date much growing up and she didn’t want to put a damper on that.

So instead, she nodded, trying to seem positive and like she wasn’t here just to make sure nothing bad happened to Robin.

In her own head though, it just seemed desperate and if it wasn’t for her best friend asking her to come with her, she would never willingly attend. She didn’t even know why Robin wanted to in all honesty, she was attractive, had plenty of men falling over their feet for her but instead she wanted to spend her Valentine’s night in a worn-down youth centre with a conveyor belt of questionable men asking the same questions, over and over again. Although she could hardly judge the men when they were both there too.  

It didn’t improve when they arrived to thirty tables lined up in rows of two, woman already seated and men standing off to the side, waiting for begin. She scrunched her nose, they looked like a pack of hyena’s. It didn’t help that the last two tables free weren’t sat next to one another. That was what she got for dragging her feet and making them late.

“Just signal if you need help,” Nami whispered, throwing an apologetic look to the women seated as they made their way closer to the tables.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

They gave their parting words and split apart, Robin in the second isle at the top and Nami in the first in the middle. At least she could keep an eye on Robin this way.

“If I could have everyone’s attention,” the room feel silent as the host started to speak, cutting through the nervous energy in the room. “I’ll go over how the evening it going to work. The women will stay seated the whole time and the men will move to their left. You’ll have two minutes to talk and as soon as you hear the gong, your times up and the men will move onto the next table. Don’t fret though, if you met someone, we’ll have a half an hour session at the end so you can chat more and exchange phone numbers if both parties want to. Any questions?”

The room stared back at him.

“In which case, let’s get started.”

.

.

.

Nami was bored.

And this had been exactly what she’d expected leading up to the night. The attention was nice, don’t get her wrong, but how many times could she answer the same questions and listen to the same monologue from different men without her mind drifting?

She was only on the seventh man and not one of them had been worth remembering.

So far, she’d had quite a broad selection of men before her, ranging from too nervous, trying too hard, too dull or, the one before her was too cocky. He was telling her about his business that she hadn’t asked about and she’d never welcomed the sound of the gong more than she had in that moment. He stood and arrogantly told her he’d see her later. Clearly no one had told him that that there was such a thing as too much confidence.

Well, it’s not like she’d be sticking around once this was done. Only twenty-three more men to go.

Everyone there was dressed up to a certain degree, women in dresses, men in pressed shirts and trousers, maybe a tie. The man about to sit down before her put them all to shame; tailored trousers, tie, crisp white shirt covered by a navy double breasted suit. He didn’t look stuffy though, he looked comfortable and she wondered if that meant he worse suits often. Regardless, she could respect a well-dressed man. And it maybe didn’t hurt that it was paired with the bluest eyes she’d ever seen and trimmed facial hair.

“Hi, I’m Sanji,” he introduced himself as he sat down opposite her and if her eyes didn’t deceive her, he just given her a very obvious once over too.

“I’m Nami.”

“How’s your evening so far?”

Nevermind, he was going to be like just the others. ‘How’re you?’, ‘You’re gorgeous’, ‘You’re beautiful’, ‘What do you do for fun?’, ‘What do you do for work?’

Maybe she could signal to Robin to save her?

“It’s good, yours?” She answered patiently, ready for the routine.

“Getting better.” He smiled at her, eyes unwavering as he met her gaze and it was obvious what he meant. Subtle and not too cheesy, a fine line he was playing with and it shouldn’t have worked on her as much as it did. She wondered if he would be a smooth talker like some of the others.

“What’s your favourite food?”

She blinked, not expecting the U-turn but he didn’t look smug about it though, he waited for her to answer patiently.

“I love oranges.”

He didn’t give her the chance to ask anything back, going in with a follow up question. “What’s your favourite dish?”

Was he going to play twenty questions with her? It’d certainly mix up the pacing at least.

“There’s a difference?” She asked, eyebrow raised.

“Not always, but sometimes it’s different or an extension of their favourite food.” He seemed confident but he the way he played with his fingers made her question that.

“Roasted duck and orange sauce.”

“So, orange related?” Not judgemental but curious.

“I grew up on an orange orchard when I was a child, so I guess that’s where it comes from.” And so organically, she was opening up instead of him having to pry it out of her with forced, stilted questions like all the others. He was good. “What about you?”

“Hm?”

“What’s your favourite food?”

“I like a spicy seafood pasta, although I’m a chef, so I prefer making the food.”

Hm, well the food related questions made a little more sense. “Okay then, favourite dish to prepare?”

And his face lit up at the question. He’d been very polite and composed up until now but he became more animated by the second and it was so different from the men before him. He told her about the first meal he’d ever cooked by himself when he was young, the meal he cooked for his dad and why he loved cooking that one in particular. Although he was talking a lot, it was peppered with fun stories and it wasn’t to brag or because he liked the sound of his own voice, he was showing her a piece of him and one that really loved cooking. She found herself leaning forward, engaged and asking follow up questions or laughing along with him. She’d relaxed.

The cheap, tacky sound of the gong went off and for the first time that evening, it was too soon. She wasn’t relieved to hear it like she had been before, she felt frustrated that those two minutes were gone and she found herself disappointed as the man at the table next to her stood to take Sanji’s seat.

Except, Sanji didn’t look like he was moving.

“Would you mind if I stayed a little longer?” He asked, eyes on her, not interested in the irritated man huffing and puffing next to him. He’d asked politely, face trying not to give anything away so she wasn’t pressured but she could see it. Beneath it, he looked nervous, like this was make or break and it was again, another side to him that she hadn’t expected. It was rather flattering.

He wanted to stay and if she were being honest with herself, she wanted him to stay too.

She couldn’t go back to boring standard questions. His were obviously trying to get to know her, like all the others, but they were fun, kept her on her toes. It wasn’t just him firing questions and her responding, or him doing all the talking, it was genuinely a conversation.

“Not at all.”

He looked relieved at her words, his shoulders relaxing and the smile he gave her was worth it all. His smile stretched to his eyes and she wanted to see it again.

“You heard the lady,” Sanji took his eyes off her to face the other man, and although the words could have sounded smug, they didn’t coming from him.

It was still apparently the wrong thing to say as the words grated on the man waiting, regardless of the tone.

“Listen man, I’ve been waiting to speak to her. You heard what the host said at the beginning, after two minutes you move on.”

As much as this may be stroking her ego, she wasn’t interested right now, she was aware that she was on borrowed time. Afterall, she had no idea how long they’d let Sanji stay seated with her when they finally twigged it and ushered him along.

Leaning forward, she gained both of their attention before Sanji could respond and in her most innocent voice asked, “Would you mind humouring me? It can be our little secret?” She finished with a wink, the words rolling off her tongue with practiced ease.

Hook, line and sinker.

With round eyes, he nodded, wordlessly moving on to the next table like he was hypnotised. A bit of cleavage, innocence with a hint of something more and they were eating out of the palm of her hand. Men were so easy.

She almost laughed when she turned back to Sanji and he had a matching expression.

He swallowed and tried to compose himself as best as he could. “That wasn’t even directed at me and I’m dazzled,” he told her honestly.

“Good to know it works on you too-” the pink on his cheeks extended her teasing grin, “-but I can’t have you too dazzled, we have another two minutes to go.”

“I’ll try to multi-task then.” Her teasing grin softened and God, when had she been a sap for soft words? “Do you enjoy cooking?”

And they were off again. Nami was telling him that she did, probably not on the same level as him, but she had enough recipes she enjoyed making and the whole time, she had his undivided attention.

Really, he wasn’t doing anything that different from the others before him. He was just smoother without being forced. It was almost as easy as breathing talking with him, he’d ask her questions and hung on her every word as she answered. Their conversation flowed naturally, from one topic to the next and it got to a point where no one would bother interrupting them anymore. The gong would go off, Sanji wouldn’t move and she wouldn’t say anything, nor did she have to charm any more men into leaving them be.

She was telling a story about how she’d been kicked out of her favourite supermarket in the city because her best friend had convinced her it was a great idea at the time to see how quickly they could finish shopping if she was in the trolley and he was running her down the aisles. Sanji had only interrupted her as soon as she’d said his name.

“Did you say Luffy, as in Monkey D. Luffy?”

“Yeah, do you know him?” Which wouldn’t surprise her, everyone knew Luffy.  

“I met in a little while ago, he comes into the restaurant all the time!”

Nami snorted. “Of course he does. He’s a bottomless hole for food. Although if he’s coming back for your food, that’s the highest compliment he could ever give.”

He smiled boyishly at her, clearly pleased with the compliment. “He’s one of my favourite people to feed. He eats whatever he’s given and appreciates food. Although, maybe don’t tell him that.”

“Your secret’s safe with me. Has he tried paying with an IOU yet?”

“Tried it the first time and ended up washing the dishes,” he deadpanned before smiling at her to let her know he was more amused than anything.

She shook her head. “Of course Luffy befriended a chef! That’s so like him. Tell me, how often does he pester you to cook for him?”

“The worst part was telling him where I live.”

She giggled, already imagining him hammering on the door excitedly or climbing through the window if he couldn’t be bothered with formalities. Sanji joined her though and she wished she could see what was going through his head.

“You think you’ve locked all the doors, yet he always finds a way in, right?”

“I’m pretty sure he knows I don’t really mind, no matter what I say or do.”

“You still have to pretend though, otherwise he’ll only get worse!” Sanji nodded sagely, as if taking her pearls of wisdom seriously and storing them aware for later. “So if you know Luffy, you must know Zoro, right?”

He looked at her blankly for a second.

“Green hair, scar over one of his eyes?”

Recognition flashed in his eyes and he paused, as if deliberating what he was going to say next before settling on a tight answer. “Yeah, I know him.”

He said it like he was trying to hold himself back and then it clicked why. He didn’t like Zoro. Which looking at him, made sense. She knew Zoro well, he was gruff, looked grumpy most of the time and knew for a fact, he had worn a t-shirt for a week straight without washing it. A stark contrast from the man sitting opposite her, who was well groomed, well-mannered and dressed exceptionally. No wonder they clashed when meeting, she only wished she’d been there to see it.

“Don’t pretend to like him on my account, he’s my best friend and we don’t always see eye to eye.” She thought about her much they bickered, even if they met at the same time as her and Luffy.

Sanji looked serious as he offered, “If he ever crosses you say the word and I’ll kick his arse.”

Interesting, maybe not as well-mannered as she’d initially thought but she supposed that made sense if he was friends with Luffy. She didn’t mind it though.

She gave a short, sharp laugh. “I have a mean right hook, so you won’t have to defend my honour anytime soon.”

He didn’t look put off by that information, which was a pleasant surprise.

“Oh really?”

“That’s why I’m here. My friend wanted to come and I couldn’t leave her by herself.”

“Because it felt like throwing her to a pack of hungry wolves?” He asked, amused.

“Exactly!” She agreed, glad he wasn’t offended. It seemed he didn’t count himself in with the others.

“Which one is she?”

“Over there, with the long black hair.”

She was pointing to the other side of the room and he leaned over the table to follow the direction of her finger. She tried not to stare at him, instead seeing if she could catch her friend’s eye. He smelled nice though, whatever perfume he had on suited him and there was a hint of smokiness beneath it. She wondered if he smoked? She hadn’t smelled it on his breath.

Robin saw them both then, raising an eyebrow at the both of them looking and the smile on her face told Nami she’d be teased later.

“How did you meet?” He asked, drawing her attention back on him.

She told him about her time at university, how her and Robin had been roommates in her first year before living together for a little while even after Robin had graduated and how she’d met Chopper there too.

“That’s how Robin and Chopper joined me, Luffy and Zoro. Although it’s less joining and more Luffy forcing people to be his friend- but you know how that goes.”

The gong went off again and people shuffled around the hall to find their next seats. She’d lost count of how far they were in anymore.

“So how come I’ve never seen you around when Luffy and Marimo come by the restaurant?”

She huffed a laugh at Zoro’s nickname, knowing she’d store that away for later if she needed it.

“You normally see Luffy during the week, right?” She’d better be right, Luffy had never invited her to where Sanji worked. Maybe they could’ve been doing this sooner if he had.

“Huh, I never realised it but yeah I do.”

“I don’t work on the weekends, so when I’m not at work him and Zoro are normally invading my home.” As well as trashing the place and drinking all her beers. “But with you as a friend now, I’m off cooking duty.”

“He makes you cook for him?” He looked serious again and she realised may have been serious earlier about kicking Zoro’s arse. Chivalry wasn’t dead, it seemed, or at least not with him.

“It’s normally when I’m cooking for myself, so I just make more. Don’t worry, I charge him for it.” She winked playfully at the end of her sentence at him.

“As you should, he has the most beautiful women cooking for him, he’s the luckiest man alive.” It was the first time he’d commented on her looks tonight and after getting to know him better, all the previous compliments she’d received paled in comparison.

Although it did bring back that niggling voice in the back of her head that reminded her that he was good a this. A bit too good. A bit too smooth. And although he’d spent his evening with her, with no signs of his attention flagging, she still had to ask.

“You seem quite good at this; do you do this often?” She kept her tone casual but eyed his reaction.

It caught him off guard, she could almost see the cogs in his brain working as fast as they could, desperate to do damage control before he’d even said anything. She bit down on the grin she could feel pulling at her cheeks.

“No- I mean yes- but not like that!” He tripped over his words, growing flustered.

She almost felt a little mean but it was refreshing to see another side of him that was less composed.

“I suppose I’m a bit of a romantic,” he admitted. “Not that I sleep around or go on lots of dates or anything, I’m not that type of man. It’s more about trying to find the right woman, so I suppose I come to these sorts of events.” He played with his hands nervously, he hadn’t done that since he’d first sat down. “I saw you come in and I knew I needed to make a good first impression because I wanted to get to know you. It probably wasn’t fair to the women before you, I wasn’t exactly giving them my full attention.”

He'd laid himself bare, not a hint of deception on his face and she threw him a bone after such honesty. “That was a good answer.”

The relief flooded onto his face and for the umpteenth time that evening, she thought about how much she liked his smile. She’d be lying to herself if she said she wasn’t won over by the man sitting opposite her.

The final gong chimed to let everyone know the evening was coming to a close. People left their seats, moving to leave or to catch someone they might have been interested in, yet they stayed where they were.

“I know I said I wanted to speak with you when you walked in but I couldn’t have imagined I’d have the pleasure of spending the whole evening with you.”

There were butterflies fluttering in her stomach and she almost cursed herself for feeling like a school girl. “You exceeded my expectations; I was on the verge of signalling to my friend and I was here to rescue her.”

He looked indecisive for a moment, before finally asking, “Would it be okay if I asked for your number?”

And for the second time that evening, she saw his nerves creep back in. He was such an interesting mix but it seemed regardless of the fact she’d spent her whole evening talking and laughing with him, he doubted himself when truly putting himself out there. She wondered where that came from.

“Yeah, you can ask.”

How was she going to live this down when she was so against coming here but was leaving with the number of the man she’d spent her whole evening with?

“Would you do me the honour of giving me your number?”

The laugh tumbled out, of course he’d ask like that. He was smooth, confident, attentive, a bit unsure under the surface but ultimately, he was also a bit of a dork. And she liked that apparently.  

She nodded.

His hand slipped into his pocket, pulling out a mobile to hand over to her and for the first time that evening, they were quiet as she typed her number in, double checking it was correct. She felt like a teenager again. When she handed it back, he made it look like she’d handed him a winning lottery ticket and well, if that didn’t feel good, she didn’t know what would.

When his phone was back safely in his suit pocket, she thought that would be it, left to awkwardly say goodbye with the promise of him texting her but the breath left her lungs as he reached for her hand, lifting it with his head tilted to brush his lips against her fingers. Electricity shot from her hand, up her arm and left a pleasant tingle as her cheeks warmed under the attention. It was like something from the movies, she didn’t think that happened in real life.

His lips lingered before pulling away, his breath warm along her skin and goosebumps lined her arms. He didn’t drop her hand though. “Hopefully I’ll see you soon?”

She nodded, for once speechless, the words lost on her.

With one last look at her, lingering over her face like he was memorising it, he turned to walk towards the door. She watched him go, still stunned and just as he was about to leave, he looked over his should at her once again, beaming and giving her a small wave.

Good grief, had she just been dazzled?

Robin was making her way over then, expression promising nothing but an embarrassing conversation and red cheeks for herself.

Her phone buzzed to momentarily distract herself from her fate-

Hi, it’s Sanji. I had a really good time, is it too early to ask when you’re free? x

-she grinned down at her phone.

------------------------------

I just want to say a massive thank you to Ray for helping me put together this event and to our ever-growing discord of lovely people who joined us!

If you’d like to join our sannami discord, you can do so by clicking here. (Might be worth doing as I’m sure there’ll be some more events coming up later in the year. Hint, hint, nudge, nudge)

As always, please excuse any errors.

Thanks for reading.

[freakie-deakie]

Lucas // How To: Kill an Idea

i have been really struggling with feeling numb lately and i super projected that onto this character. i really do apologize if it doesn’t make for the most interesting read. i may or may not end up rewriting this when i’m feeling better.

Warnings: emotional numbness and detachment

Masterlist

THIS IS PART 2!!! Read part one here: How To: Hurt My Feelings

Lucas x Reader (angst // 7.3k words); ft. stepbrother!Johnny

The way the lights reflected off the water brought only distant memories of the Han flowing through the city of Seoul and mirroring the life around it. The bustle of the city, the calm of the river banks. The things that you neighbored so long ago.

You could become so lost in the remnants of the past - that you would forget to lose yourself in the readiness of the moment.

You owed the Garonne. After tirelessly looking over you for months on end, you owed her your presence at the very least. How dare you look at her in all of her beauty and only think of another.

She smiled at you nonetheless. The Garonne sat with you one last night and told you how much she would miss you - how much all of Bordeaux would miss you. She told you that the stone buildings, the ones in the alleyway that you cut through every night as you return to your dorm, didn't know what they were going to do without you. She told you that the little birds that had nested outside of your window had practiced a sadder song to sing after you left. She swore that the lights in the city shone brighter than they ever had before when you landed and that they would fade upon your departure.

She made you promise that you would come back to see all of them: the buildings, the birds, and the lights. On your own accord, you promised you would come back to see her.

The Garonne waved you off that night, sending you to bed and wishing you a restful slumber and a safe flight in the morning.

Tired and stiff, you limp out of the terminal with your laptop clutched to your chest and a yawn escaping your lips. You mindlessly followed the crowd of other travelers to baggage claim and patiently waited for your suitcase to be sorted onto the conveyor belt.

"Pardon me, Mademoiselle," a familiar voice reached your ears, "I believe a poor boy has been waiting far too long to see you here."

You spun on your heel, a bright smile suddenly overtaking your features. "Lucas," you call quietly as you envelop him in a tight hug. You had barely moved for sixteen hours straight, but once in his arms, every desire for motion ceased. It seemed that he agreed, as he latched onto you and refused to let go.

"I missed you," he admitted before placing a kiss on the top of your head and moving to grab your bag off the belt.

"I missed you more," you answered softly.

He took your hand and kissed it before leading you through the airport and down to the parking garage where your brother was waiting, leaned up against his car, and dusting the cigarette ashes off of his sleeve.

"Hey there, Miss France," he says as he moves to envelop you in a hug of his own. "How was your flight?"

"It was fine," you answer simply. "Long, but fine."

"Well, you have an hour-long car trip to give us the highlights of France, if you're not too tired. We could stop by a late-night diner too if you're hungry."

You nodded along as you climbed into the car, enjoying the banter after your long trip. But as you rode in the passenger seat home (funny, you thought, that you still called it home), you took in things about the city that you never really appreciated.

The locals that ignored the do-not-cross signs, the billboards that were so shrouded in smog that you could barely read them, the stray cats that freely wandered the city like it was their own personal playground. All the things that you used to neighbor.

And when you got to the bridge that you'd longed to see since you left, the Han welcomed you home with as much love for you as it had six months ago. You made it a point to tell him about the Garonne sometime. You think he would enjoy hearing about her.

"The pastries," you say simply. "It was France; of course the pastries were the best."

Johnny dropped you back at your apartment and your boyfriend opted to stay the night, helping you settle back into the space that you could once again call your own.

Another tenant had contracted your apartment for the time you were away - there were a few more cuts and bruises than you remember leaving, but it was nothing you couldn't patch up. The bed wasn't where you had it, the shower knobs had been replaced, and an empty curtain rod rest stretched along your window seal.

"The stuff you left with us, it's still back at the frat," he chuckles awkwardly.

"That's okay." You offer him a small smile and plop down on one of the only four pieces of stand-alone furniture left in the space, the old black sofa in the same spot it's always been. "At least they didn't take my couch."

"Y/N, darling, I don't know if I would lay on that if I were you."

His words took a moment to register, but when they did your eyes shot open and you were out of your seat comically fast. "Oh God, ew..."

He laughed again and pressed a small kiss to your temple. "Let's take a shower and then we'll figure things out, okay? And you know, you don't have to sleep here tonight. There are no sheets on the bed or anything, so you can-"

You cut him off with a quick kiss and lead him to the bathroom, ready for a warm shower to take away all of your travel pains.

"Not really," you answered honestly, rolling your head to the side to look at your boyfriend. You'd been looking at his ceiling for a while, head resting on his thigh while he played with your hair. It felt nice, you thought, to get a chance to live in your memories - specifically the memories you had left with him here in his room, the ones that always waited for you while you were away. "All of my days in France were spent doing something or another. By myself, with the people that I met. So no, it never really got mundane. I didn't think that kind of life existed for anyone over the age of nine." You let out a small but heavy breath. "I guess I had to experience it for myself to understand."

Lucas doesn't say anything for a moment. Instead, he focuses on gently detangling a knot that his fingers had caught on. Your hair was longer now than it was.

"I'm happy for you," he reassures you. He doesn't quite know what he's reassuring, but he reassures you nonetheless.

"Lucas?" you ask softly.

"Hmm?" he responds, his gruff voice sounding tired.

"What would you have done if I didn't come back?" His finger stop working in your mess of locks and all of his attention is focused on dissecting what you just asked him.

"I don't know what answer you want me to give you," he says smally, glancing down at you before retraining his gaze on the ceiling, its texture nearly lost in the dark.

"There isn't a certain answer I want. I'm just curious."

"I don't understand the question," he almost interrupts, suddenly a bit tenser than he was only moments ago.

"I don't mean anything by it, Lucas. It's not a loaded question." Your soft voice is enough to lul his hand back to its comforting motions. "Would you have gone after me or would you have let me go?"

"I would have gone after you without a second thought. Definitely, I would have."

"I thought about staying you know."

There's a pause, a small silence of thought on both ends.

"Why didn't you," he asks with genuine curiosity.

"It wasn't home. You weren't there."

A wolf whistle follows you into the kitchen the next morning and you feel the need to suppress your groan.

"If I knew you were staying the night, I would have held a cup against the door."

"Oh, gross, Jaehyun," you sneer, turning to jab your elbow into the older boy's side.

"What? Not everyone gets to tour France." You can't help but dramatically roll your eyes and threaten him with a punch.

"Do you want a cup of coffee? I was about to put on a pot."

"Sure," he smiles gratefully. "And you can tell me about Bordeaux while we wait."

"Oh, it was beautiful," you think back as you prepare the grounds. "As the sun was setting, the sky would turn golden. If there were any clouds that evening, they would turn all different shades of pink. The lights over the water - words wouldn't do it justice."

Jaehyun chuckles before yawning out, "Well, that's a first."

"Jung Jaehyun, if you are trying to say that I talk too much-"

"That's not what I'm saying," he defends. "I mean you always have a way with words. It's your thing, ya' know. Words."

You hum, turning back to your task. "I guess I hadn't thought about it that way - at least not for a while."

The door to the kitchen swings open and another boy ungracefully stumbles into the kitchen. Haechan is clad in a plain T-shirt and dark shorts (if you could call them that). His hair is no longer silver; it's now a dusty brown, curling up into the picture of a sandstorm blowing about his head. He looked healthier, or maybe just more mature since you last saw him. He'd filled out a bit, and grown into those long limbs of his.

"Man, what's will all the commotion in here? It's Saturday and- Y/N?" The boy immediately perks up upon seeing you. "Oh my gosh, Y/N! You're back!" He hugs you and sits down at the island beside his older friend, suddenly as energetic as a child on Christmas morning. "Great, because I made a list of pranks we're gonna pull together. Jaehyun, since you're here, I guess you can help us too. Okay, first of all, we're gonna shove a bag of chocolate powder mix down the shower drain. I'd like to make sure that one gets Mark because he blamed me for breaking Johnny's lamp."

There were things you would have to readjust to in Korea. Things that you didn't think would catch you off guard, yet still managed to turn you around every now and again. The wet bath was one of them; you were going to miss your tub. You also suddenly found bowing a bit more strange than you originally had, as well as keeping personal space when you greeted someone altogether. Most prominently, the language barrier that you weren't so sure you'd ever really overcome in your first life in Korea.

Words were suddenly weird to you again. Ideas that could manifest themselves in one language but not another. At times, there were no proper parallels, nor were there ways in which to express everything going on inside your head.

Though you tried your hardest, what little French you learned simply wouldn't translate properly to English, or the English wouldn't translate to Korean, or the Korean to French, or the French to Korean, or the Korean to the English. The words just never came out the way you wanted them to, and in a way, it was like a piece of you fell away from the rest, lost somewhere between all of your different lives.

Lucas noticed how much quieter you seemed since you'd returned.

You made it a point to generally avoid contact with everyone while you were away. You occasionally checked in with them to let them know that you were alive, but other than that had kept your space. You became more dedicated to learning about yourself and how to care for your well-being. You began making decisions of your own, from what you would eat every night and how early you would wake up every morning to what debacles were worth your time and energy. You decided that most of them weren't. You decided that pondering your life was taking years off of it, and that you didn't like to eat snails. You decided that you weren't so bad after all, and for that matter, no one else was either. You decided to live.

"Hey, can I see something on your Instagram real quick?" you asked softly, setting your bowl of fancy ramen on the coffee table in front of you. "I think one of my friends just had a baby and I wanted to see if she's posted any pictures yet."

Without giving it much thought, Lucas hands you his phone and turns back to his meal. "What happened to your Instagram?" he questioned.

"Deleted it," you quip, pulling up your friend's account. He hears you coo before you shove the device back into his hands, urging him to look at the baby. He thought the child, redfaced and wet, looked like an alien, though he'd never tell you that.

"Why'd you delete it?" he pursues.

You simply shrug and cover more of your legs with the blanket that rested on the both of you. "Didn't need it." He gives you an unsatisfied groan, but you can't think of a better answer. It was simple - while you took plenty of photos to document your life, you no longer found it necessary to post them.

"Okay," he tries, "what about your Kakao Story?"

"Deleted."

"So you no longer use Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Skype, Instagram, or Kakao Story? What if someone needs to contact you?"

"I still have Kakao and Discord."

"Okay, what about my posts? Or your other friends'?"

"If they have something to tell me, they will," you sip your hot tea and lean into his side.

"It’s like she doesn't want to talk to me. She doesn't want to talk to anyone," groans Lucas as he sprawls out on Mark's bed. "She doesn't talk nearly as much as she used to."

Mark's hand didn't stop relaying notes to his journal as he talked with Lucas, translating as many of his lyrical ideas onto paper as he could keep up with.

"She's not the same person she used to be, Lucas."

Lucas had trouble making sense of it, why Mark sounded so sure about that. It almost hurt his pride that one of his roommates was telling him something about you, his girlfriend.

"Who is?" Lucas rubs his eyes. "We've all grown up since then."

Mark's hand halts. "Since then?"

"Since-" he sighs. "Ya' know, since... Since we..."

"Don't hurt yourself," Mark chuckles. "Maybe," he offers, "this chapter of your life is written in a different style. Did you even notice? That your life hasn't been going the same since she got back?"

"Of course it's not the same," the elder defends. "It's infinitely better."

"Spare me. Look, I'm just saying, the less she talks, the more dialog you're putting in your own book. And I think it's better this way. I mean, I can't tell you how to write your life, but I can honestly say I think you're doing better now than you were before. You started using your words instead of acting on impulse. That's not easy, man. Words are hard."

Words: your staple, your foundation, your life. They were your nothing anymore.

And Lucas didn't know how to understand.

He tried not to take it personally, but soon you fell into almost complete silence both with him and his friends. When you joined them for a Smash Bros competition, you didn't exclaim your victories nor mourn your defeats. When you dressed, you didn't ask for his opinions on the color of your lipstick nor the type of heel you should wear. When you laid in bed with him and watched his fan turn above your heads, you refused to humor his desire to hear your voice. And he took the fault upon himself.

He felt guilty asking anything of you anymore because you never opened your mouth to ask for favors in return.

"Y/N, will you come cuddle with me?" he calls with as much endearment as he can shove into his tone.

This was for your own good, he reminded himself.

You hadn't watched the news in months, and he knew that. You, ever the stickler for meaningful conversation, had devoted large portions of your time to staying up to date before. As of late, however, you preferred "to watch the world crash and burn around you from a first-person point-of-view rather than a third-person point-of-view."

He hoped that sitting you down to watch the news for a while would spark a fire in your opinionated soul. So imagine his reaction when you crawled into his arms and fell asleep, paying absolutely no mind to the colors or words on the screen.

His next plan was to plant your favorite novel in the hands of your favorite philosopher.

This was for your own good, he reminded himself.

He shoved the book into Doyoung's hands with a stern "fix her." Needless to say, Doyoung had the book read within a couple of days and Lucas invited you over as soon as his friend flipped through the pages for the final time.

"A piece of modern art," he suggests. "A sorrow lost to the sands of time and a meaning forgotten by society."

Lucas watches in amazement as you sit and nod along to everything that Doyoung says. You didn't interject your ideas even once. You just listened.

He was running out of ideas. So his last plot was his last hope that there may be a bit of yourself left inside of you. He would take you on a date - the best date you've ever been on - and thrust so much happiness and gratefulness onto you that you wouldn't be able to contain it so silently. He knew it was a dirty trick, but how else was he to make sure that you were okay if you would no longer tell him anything about yourself.

This was for your own good, he reminded himself.

Really, he should have asked you out first, before he came barging into your apartment (tidier than he'd ever seen it before and reeking of cleaner) with a bundle of flowers and demanding your attention for the evening.

Surprise.

He was about to push open the door to your bedroom when he heard a soft sniffle from inside. His eyes widened and his shoulders fell. His heart broke when he heard a small sob fall from your lips.

He peeked inside. It was dark, mind the laptop that sat on your desk and illuminating your shaking form. You laid your head on one arm and used your other hand to rake through your stringy hair. Your glasses had been tossed to the shadowy void and your cheeks were wet and sticky.

The header of your philosophy paper stared you down as you unraveled before it. The rest of the blank page was absolutely daunting. Your acceptance of the world around you had drained away your ability to have a coherent cognitive thought about it, forget about writing one.

To some extent, you missed the days when you were confident in your ability to build empires out of words. Now, you couldn't even build a ten-page paper, especially not by 11:59 pm that night.

To a greater extreme, you couldn't understand why you would want to return to your opinionated ways or your charismatic skills that abused fact until it bent to your will. What purpose did fact or, more importantly, idea have anymore, other than to aid your ability to charm others to abide by your purpose?

It felt wrong to write a definitive philosophical thesis, especially when you couldn't bring yourself to definitively believe in anything particular.

"Y/N," you jumped at the sound of your own name and quickly wiped your cheeks with the back of your sleeves, sitting up straighter and making yourself more presentable before you turned around to face him. Lucas saw it all. He watched you put your mask back on right before his eyes, and he realized that you were hurting in ways that he couldn't see until now.

"Lucas," you cursed your shaky voice. "What's up? Why are you here?"

He takes a few quiet steps until he's standing before you and kneels to look into your eyes. There are things that he wants to say, 'you're scaring me' being the most prominent, but he knows he should choose his words more carefully.

"I want to know what's going on. I want to help." He slips his hands into your own and rests them on your knees.

"I just don't think you can," you answer simply.

"Can you tell me what's the matter?"

You shake your head and the tears come rushing back to your eyes. "I don't know what's the matter." It's honest. You don't know why your head can't wrap around your assignments, or your conversations, or your own thoughts as of late.

All that time spent with yourself taught you how to understand yourself and your own needs. You feel that you have exchanged your understanding of the world around you for a simpler version of life. Did that make you selfish? You didn't know.

All Lucas could do was watch you as you fell back into your frustrations. It didn't take long before your brows were knitted back together, your nose was running, and your eyes had glazed over as you retreated back inside of yourself.

"Y/N," he softly called. Your eyes only met his for a second before they were cast somewhere else and your attention ran away from you once again.

"I think," you started, unsure of every word that slipped past your lips. "I think you should go."

You didn't know how to explain to him that you were afraid of what he might think of you at that moment, or that you didn't want to hurt his feelings any more than you guessed you already had.

"I don't want to go. I'm tired of leaving you alone." He stood, gently pulling you to stand with him, and led you to the edge of your bed with a delicate touch. "You don't have to sleep. You don't have to talk. Just lay here with me for a little while and let me be close to you."

"You know," Lucas started as he tossed the noodles in the pan. He'd tucked you into the couch earlier that evening and told you to forget the paper you'd been stressing over. You happily complied. "I don't know how to say this any better." You listened keenly as you pulled a throw pillow into your lap and wrapped yourself around it. "I know that this is probably the last thing you want to talk about, but I did something very wrong to you. I'm still sorry, and I hope you know that. But..." He cast you a quick glance over his shoulder before reaching for the seasoning in your pantry. "I don't think I ever gave you the chance to yell at me. Or like, to be mad at me - ya' know?"

You thought for a moment, front teeth chewing on your thumbnail before you shook your head softly and answered, "I don't want to yell at you. I don't want to be mad at you."

You heard a repressed sound of discouragement before looking to see him dishing your dinner plates. "I wish you would. I wish you would yell at me and tell me what I did was wrong. I wish you would be angry with me for a little while. I wish you would just tell me something about how you feel about it."

He handed you your plate and watched as you ran back inside of your own head. He watched your eyes glaze over as you replayed his words, and yet you made sense of almost none of them. You didn't understand what he was asking of you.

You toyed with your food as you tried to process his request. You didn't even notice when he took his seat beside you, nor did you notice the burning gaze he watched you with.

"Y/N," he called, shaking you out of your trance. "I want you to yell at me." You looked at him like a deer caught in headlights - big black eyes staring down a deadly light. "How did you feel when it happened? Shout something horrific at me about what was going through your head at the time."

You took a small bite and swallowed, training your eyes on the coffee table before you. "I don't remember."

You looked so small, so helpless, and so distant. You were there, right next to him, and yet you were so far away. He was having trouble finding you.

"Yell. Break something. For fuck's sake, please."

The more pressure he applied, the further you seemed to slip away. Before he knew it, you were gone.

"That's not her anymore." He found himself on Mark's bed once again, tucked into the younger boy's covers and pouring out his heart. "She's not all there. She just looks so empty now."

"Dude, I don't know why you come to me for this sort of thing. It's not like I'm just great with girls," the younger quips from his desk chair. "And Johnny would know more about her than I would-"

"No. He absolutely cannot know that I broke his sister."

Mark hummed in thought for a moment before he laid his pen down in his textbook and turned his full body to his friend. "Lucas, be honest with me about something." Lucas nodded. "Did you see anyone else while she was in France?"

Lucas shook his head as he took in his friend's words carefully. He had no right to be mad at the accusation, so he kept his temper in check until a particularly vile thought trotted across his mind. He sat up immediately. "Oh God, do you think that she did? Do you think she considered it a break and she slept with someone else?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying- hey- Lucas, stop." Lucas was already to his feet and out the door before he could finish. "So not my fault," he grumbled to himself.

Finally, it all made sense to him. You couldn't be mad at him if you were also guilty. You couldn't yell at him for committing a sin you'd also committed. He was going to redress the scale. He was going to make you the word again. He was going to be the action.

The solid thuds against your wooden door made you jump up from your floor. Adrenaline spread through your fingertips and you took a step back towards your bedroom.

"We need to talk."

Lucas sounded angry. You pushed and pulled with your memory, but found no trace of experiencing this feeling before: fear of him. You moved against your gut to let him in. You barely opened the door before he pushed his way inside, rattling off accusation after accusation.

"Did you think we were on a break? Because we weren't on a break."

You just listened.

"Did you just forget about me while you were there? Did you just ignore the fact that I was waiting for you? I was stuck here, waiting for you every day while you were in France."

You didn't speak.

"So you just got to do whatever you wanted while I had to sulk here? You just couldn't control yourself, huh? Do you know how hard it was to keep control of myself while you were gone?"

'It was hard?' you thought.

"How about we take another break then? How about this time, I get to sleep with whoever I want? Well? Aren't you even going to open your mouth to defend yourself?"

You didn't.

"Am I wrong?" He prompted. "I didn't think so. Now we're on a break. Now you can fuck around with whoever you want."

Shocked couldn't begin to describe the state he left you in. You stood there, clambering for answers as to what could have sent him on a warpath to your apartment in the first place. His seemingly unprompted fit of jealous rage couldn't really have been sparked without a cause, you figured.

Maybe he'd seen pictures of you with your male friends in France. Maybe a rumor had been spread about you. Maybe he was just tired of you and feeding himself a rotten narrative as an excuse to break up with you.

You didn't want to know. You opted to rather accept his decision, and all of your own emotions that came flooding back with it.

"Hey man, have you talked to Y/N lately? She took one of my classes last year, and I wanted to see if I could get her notes before semester tests." Haechan asks his elder who lay sprawled on the couch.

"Nope," he said, popping the 'p.'

"What?" Haechan asked, looking up from his phone. "What do you mean you haven't talked to her?"

Lucas lazily yawned and reached for his soda can beside him. "It's not like she's my girlfriend or something. I'm not her keeper."

"Shit, Lucas, you didn't," Mark groaned, rubbing his temple.

"No, you were right. She was sleeping with other guys while she was in France. She didn't even try to deny it."

"Hang on, I never said that. You conjured that one up all on your own, buddy."

Haechan frowned as his frat members debated. He was focused on a much bigger issue at large.

"When did you break up with her?" he asks cautiously.

"Hey, we're just on a break. Don't go getting any ideas-"

"Jesus fuck, can your ego get any bigger?" Lucas crossed his arms and refocused his attention on the television, jaw clenched tightly. "You're so annoying," Haechan mumbled under his breath, already moving towards the door and shooting your brother a message telling him to meet in front of your apartment.

"Damn, you got called annoying by Haechan. How does that feel?"

"Can it, Lee."

You could feel it all, the swarm of emotions swirling and twirling around inside your chest, and yet you couldn't begin to name any of them. All you knew was that it hurt and you wanted it to stop.

You laid in your bed and watched your ceiling fondly. You liked how it didn't move. You didn't struggle to keep up with it. And it was dependable; it would always be there.

You didn't move when the knock at your front door finally registered in your ears; you were tired of playing doorman in your own residence.

You were just tired actually.

"Y/N," Johnny called, lightly pushing open the door to your bedroom. A strong sense of deja vu winded you. You knew this scene, you'd lived it before. "It's me and Haechan. I'm sorry we didn't call first." You didn't know how they managed to get inside, nor did you care. You just wanted to sleep.

Johnny took a seat next to you on the side of your bed. He brushed a strand of hair out of your eyes in an attempt to capture your attention. That's when the smell hit you. The heavy stench of cigarettes washed over all of your senses causing you to retract from his touch. He looked shaken at first, scared that he might have hurt you.

"You didn’t smoke before," you recalled. It was almost a feat in and of itself to remember the bitter past, but the small victory was stifled by the thick, wet air of the bitter present.

His eyes softened before he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a pack he'd bought just a few days before. "I started a few months ago while you were away. I knew you wouldn't be happy about it."

"I don't care," you answered promptly before slowly pulling yourself to sit up against your headboard.

Haechan watched from the doorway. He wondered if he'd ever seen someone in this state before, or if he ever would again. He looked at you and almost failed to see the human being in front of him. He watched you move like a frightened animal, stiff and weary. He watched your untrained gaze flicker between your brother and your brother's outstretched hand. 

This couldn't have just been the work of Lucas, he concluded. There were more deeply rooted implications here. There was an unresolved issue before your idiot boyfriend played to his own role.

"Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"I don't know," you answered honestly.

Johnny looked to Haechan for support, but the younger could offer only his presence in this situation.

"That's okay," your brother soothed. "Haechan," he turned to your mutual friend, "can you call Ten and Yuta and see if they've, uh, noticed anything weird lately about..." He gestured to you. Haechan excused himself to place the calls. "Food? Food always helps, right?" he tried with a dry chuckle. You paid absolutely no mind to him.

"I can't take this," Ten muttered to himself, excusing himself from your bedroom. Five boys had soon found themselves huddled in your doorway, watching your every move intently as you resisted every attempt your brother made to move you.

You felt like a lab rat, being looked at from all angles as Johnny poked and prodded to see what would make you tick. It felt humiliating.

"Let's just go for a drive," he tried again, gently pulling your arms away from your chest and trying to guide you out of bed.

"No," you answered again, pulling yourself away from him and settling further back into your bed.

"Maybe we should just let her be for tonight," Jaehyun suggested, moving to stand beside your brother whose head was fallen in defeat.

"I can't just leave her like this, Jae. I still don't understand what's going on."

"Just give her some space," Jaehyun tried again. "This clearly isn't very effective."

Johnny sighed but ended up in compliance as everyone except for Jungwoo moved to your living room. They quietly deliberated as Jungwoo read allowed one of your favorite novels from the end of your bed, hoping against all hope that it would in some way bring you back from the void in which your mind seemed to currently reside.

"Honestly, we had planned to just come and cheer her up," Haechan had said. "We didn't know we'd find her like this. But I can't say it really surprised me, she's been off for months now."

"I thought something seemed weird. She hasn't said much to me in a while."

"Me either."

"Yeah, same."

Everyone generally agreed with Ten's statement.

"Do you guys think something happened in France?" Jaehyun suggests.

"Or maybe things haven't been going so well between her and Lucas for a while?" Yuta offers.

"Everything just feels like it's spinning," you said, cutting off Jungwoo's reading of Mary Shelley's finest work. He was just happy to have heard you say anything at all. "Everything is going so fast around me. I just wanna take a nap, sleep for a while." As you relayed your simple disposition, you found yourself moving to lay on your side, plenty warm but unwilling to relinquish your comforter. "I don't feel like I belong here, so I'm going to sleep instead."

Jungwoo set the book to the side and laid himself down at the end of your bed. "I don't feel like I belong here sometimes either," he relates.

"But you do," you say, looking over his features and seeing every sharp and jagged curve for the first time.

"You do too," he promises.

Hours of hushed worries bled into the night, and you awoke alone in your apartment in the morning. You had no initial intention of getting out of bed. It was the hardcover copy of Frankenstein standing upright on your bedside table that stirred your aching joints into motion.

Then you remembered.

How could you ever even forget?

The Han River smiled when you arrived, taking a seat on his bank. He asked you why you'd been such an unfamiliar face as of late, to which you had no reply. He thanked you for coming to visit him nonetheless and told you about how much Seoul had missed you while you were away. He told you about the alley cats and how they missed the treats you would occasionally leave for them on your way to classes. He told you about how much the sky cried about you spending spring away. He told you that the city lights drowned out the stars while you were gone, but let them peak back into the city when you returned.

You had no beating heart to pour out into his water, so instead, you gave him your soul. The Han understood and sat with you until you bore no more faults on which to complain. He told you he missed you. You told him that you missed him too. You told him about the Garonne and how much you thought he would like her. Then he sent you off into the afternoon bustle of the city with a watchful eye.

You wondered the streets for a while. Not a penny in your pocket, and still you found so many little joys in all the cracks and crevices of Seoul. You pet the stray cats; they'd always been particularly fond of you. You walked around an antique shop making wild guesses about the past lives of every item in sight. You climbed a tree in the park without a damn to spare the onlookers. By sunset, your feet had taken you back to your campus and directly to the front door of your apartment.

"How about some tea?" you ask yourself as you push the door open, not half expecting to be ambushed by a group of concerned young men demanding to know where you were.

"Would you all like some tea too?"

It was still a struggle to hear your voice most of the time, but visible relief settled over those who'd seen you cowering from your brother in your bedroom only days prior. They all continued to check in on you frequently, as they still had difficulties coaxing you away from your apartment.

"Lucas," Johnny had finally caught him lurking in the kitchen around midnight. He was beginning to grow irritable with how troublesome he had become to locate.

Lucas froze, cup ramen clasped in one hand with chopsticks in the other. Busted like a child with their hand in the cookie jar.

"Look, I'm sorry about your sister," he started without really knowing where he was going. "I know that I kinda jumped the gun-"

"I don't want to fight with you again," the elder said. He had kept his calm since the situation had arisen. The last time you and your boyfriend had a falling out, all hell broke loose in their dorms. He had landed a good solid punch on the more-than-deserving idiot and held the belief that he probably deserved a few more. However, he'd rather not have everyone in a frenzy once more, turning against one another. "I just need you to tell me what was going on before you left."

Lucas's shoulders slump and he sets his late-night meal on the countertop. "I was just so frustrated. She always let me into her head before - but when she came back, she just stopped talking to me. She shut me out," he relayed. "I tried everything I could think of. I tried to make her really happy, I tried to make her really mad. She wouldn't talk to me."

"She won't talk to me either," Johnny said, resting a reassuring hand on Lucas's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he responds, taking some measure of the blame upon himself. He felt that maybe if he'd had more patience with you, he could have helped you to get better. Now you were detaching yourself from not only him but your other friends and family as well. "Do you think she would want to see me?"

Your brother shrugged but a small smirk played on his lips. "I dunno. Maybe you should go find out tomorrow."

Needless to say, Lucas felt displaced and burdened by heavy guilt as he stood in your doorway, looking down on your fragile body. The last time he came knocking on your door in the most awful hours of the morning, he begged and cried on his knees for you not to leave him. He felt himself resist the urge to fall to the ground and repeat his mantra of pleas.

You didn't ask him why he was there so early in the morning, nor did you ask him if he wanted to come in. Your stare made his skin feel cold. He cleared his throat to dispel some of the awkward tension that he felt clawing at his airways.

"Can I come in?" Without a word, you moved to the side. "Thank you. Were you asleep?"

"No," you say simply, trailing behind him as he steps into your kitchen.

He lets out a low chuckle as he glances around the room. It looked so surprisingly unhomely and clean. Not a single dish in the sink, nor a potted plant out of place. "I keep messing up pretty badly, don't I?"

He hated the empty way you looked at him. It was as if you didn't know him. It was as if you had just let a complete stranger into your apartment.

"I don't understand, and I'm really trying to. I know that you know that things have changed since you got back. I don't know what that means yet, but I do know that I still love you. And that I'm stupid. I know that too."

You hummed along, a thoughtful expression overtaking your blank features.

"And I know that I’m sorry. I let a stupid idea get into my head and I let it hurt my own feelings. I shouldn’t have taken that out on you. Please don't leave me."

You didn't offer an answer, instead opening your arms and inviting him back into your embrace. He placed a small kiss on your lips, something he felt like he hadn't done in ages, and wrapped himself around you in an effort to keep you by his side forever.

"Are you happy here in Seoul?" your boyfriend asked, picking at the grass in front of his crossed legs. He looked at you as you looked down at the water. "I mean, I know you don't want to go back to (country), and I have a feeling that you don't exactly want to go live with my family in China. But like, would you rather be in Bordeaux? Or would you rather stay here?"

"I don't know." He hummed and waited for you to elaborate, but you made no real effort to.

"I know that we're still young and we don't have to make any decisions about where we want to live yet," he cooed, looking up to watch the sun set behind the large city towers, "but would you stay here in Seoul with me for a little while?"

You nodded, reaching over to take his hand in your own before pulling him to lay in the grass with you.

"You know, you're not the same person that you were before you left. I've realized that," he said with a sad smile as he looked over at you and placed a small kiss on your chin, pulling a small giggle from your lips. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I can't wait to get to know you again."

[rootin-tootin-cum-shootin]

Copper and Iron

Synopsis: Y/N finds themself working as a volunteer in an experiment being done by a famous Robotics company. An experiment on a new AI program meant to allow their autonomous androids to have emotions. However what both Y/N and the researchers didn't anticipate was for their new experiment to fall in love with her human.

Ship: Hinata Hyuga x gn! Reader

Word Count: 9,320

Warnings: Yandere, Emotional abuse,Toxic Relationship, Manipulation, Gaslighting, Blood (from a broken nose)

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There are many factors that go into creating something truly magnificent. Often it takes ingenuity, a creative touch, patience, and a lot of perseverance. Not to mention bravery. Sometimes the creations are timeless, whether that be for a practical purpose like the invention of the light bulb or for a more spiritually fulfilling purpose like music. Despite this innovations such as these change form slightly as time progresses, however if one were to go back and look at something like a table from as far back as physical historical artifacts can be found, it can still be recognized for the purpose that it serves. Whether the table is made of plastic from 100 years ago or even Dysprosil from modern day. However none of that matters in the long run, because as previously stated time continues moving forward and so does innovation. It is very rare that the best inventions are ever made, after all the best creations are always the ones where eventually society can no longer live without them. Imagining a world where the thing an individual is most dependent on is missing, is quite often devastating. That is especially the case when it comes to the newest form of AI technology. And it is on that note that our story truly begins. 

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The towering building of Baseline Robotics™ glimmered as the rolling holographic advertisement displayed along the outside shifted to the customary greeting message as the doors unlocked before Y/N. Walking into the surprisingly empty lobby they immediately noticed that the interior decorations seemed to be going for a theme of alien hospital. Everything seemed to be white or a reflective silver and it was very nearly maddening in it’s sterility. However what caught Y/N’s attention was a stiff pure white couch that laid empty. It seemed like nobody had ever sat down on it, whether that be from fear of staining it or how uncomfortable it appeared to be was yet to be determined. Despite this observation Y/N sat down, albeit hesitantly. Soon people began to enter the building and walk down one of the two brightly lit hallways, turning either immediately left or the right while not a single person entered the large door at the end of the middle hallway.  

They had never been to Baseline Robotics™ as they never really saw a need to before now. AI was an essential part of society and for that Y/N was grateful that robotics companies existed. Without the people who can make the AI that is essential to daily tasks like driving, or customer service life would be far more difficult. And thus cities like Canphia wouldn’t exist. However recently Baseline Robotics™ had begun the shift from functional robots and computer programs to fully autonomous androids. Androids of course had already existed for a few years short of two centuries, but never had they ever looked so realistic. The only thing preventing them from being fully human was the lack of emotions. But since most androids were expensive and thus they were employed as nannies and maids in only the richest households. Being able to get angry or excited would make them neglect their duties and so nobody ever considered creating an android capable of emotions. And thus Y/N had never even considered going into the Baseline building. Besides what would a college student ever need with a robot servant. 

“Greetings! How can we help you today?” A robotic voice asked Y/N as it wheeled closer to them. 

“I’m here to answer the ad requesting volunteers for an experiment,” Y/N responded carefully.

“Follow me!” The robot chirped as it turned abruptly towards the hallway behind it, eventually both Y/N and the robot reached the door that nobody else had entered. The robot whirred softly as it unlocked the door in front of it,”Please enter and someone will be with you shortly.” 

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“Hello, you must be here for the experiment. I’m Researcher Ino, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” The young woman was grinning excitedly at Y/N as she extended a hand towards them. 

Reaching a hand out to shake Ino’s Y/N introduced themself quickly before they were suddenly being taken down a hallway by conveyor belt. It led down a series of short confined hallways before abruptly opening up into a large production floor similar to the ones that create cars. 

“So Y/N before we get started with the paperwork I’d like to ask you some quick questions,” Ino hummed as she looked over the documents displayed on her Holo-Cast. 

“Go ahead Ino.” 

“Why did you want to sign up for this?”

“Well…” Y/N hesitated, to say they were embarrassed at their reasoning for signing up was an understatement, but figuring honesty was the best way to go they continued to speak. “I moved to Canphia about six months ago and it’s been very hard for me to make any meaningful relationships so most of my free time is spent alone at home. I figured that since I don’t really ever do anything I could dedicate my spare time to assisting the behind the scenes science that goes into creating the AI we depend on.”

“Is there anything in particular that’s been preventing you from making friends?” the researcher inquired pleasantly. 

“If you haven’t noticed yet I have a difficult time speaking Katlior so it’s harder for me to communicate.” Y/N confessed with a light shrug as they entered Ino’s office. 

“Well Y/N I believe that you will be a perfect candidate for the experiment. With your help we might be able to finally take the last step in advancing AI technology. Welcome to the team.”

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It had been eight months of working with Ino and Y/N was excited to finally see what all their work was being put towards. If someone asked them if their time spent in the labs was helpful, Y/N in all honesty would have answered no. All they did was take silly personality quizzes about themself and their relationships that inevitably lead nowhere interesting or have conversations with the same four bot programs. The strangest things that they encountered in the lab however were the days where Ino would sit with Y/N and eat a meal while they discussed normal things for two people who are getting to know each other, like hobbies, interests and ideal types of all things. And what made this the strangest of the lab days was the fact that Ino would always take notes during their conversations, so the conversations were always a little awkward. 

Nonetheless Y/N was excited as earlier today Ino had mentioned that they needed to come into the lab a day early. She wouldn’t tell them exactly why they needed to come in but she sounded very excited and that made Y/N excited. 

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By the time Y/N had arrived at Borderline Robotics™ Ino was very nearly bouncing off the walls from how exhilarated she was at what she was about to unveil to Y/N. When they walked in she immediately jumped on them, wrapping an arm around Y/N’s shoulders while talking a mile a minute. “Ah you’re here! I called you in because we’re finally ready to begin the next stage of testing, and I have a feeling you’re going to love exactly what this stage entails. So if you would follow me I need to brief you on exactly what you’re about to experience so you’re prepared for this breakthrough. Okay let’s go!”

“Ino where exactly are we going? Isn’t the lab the other way?”

“Yep but today we’re going somewhere else.”

“...I’m so confused,” Y/N shook their head as they walked down the otherwise silent hallway. Ino grinned as she unlocked a door leading to a spiraling staircase and ushering Y/N to follow her down. 

“We need to go to the lab with the highest security clearance today, after all it’s not every day where you get so far in creating the first autonomous AI with emotions. So yeah, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, that’s what all the testing has been for Y/N. We want to be able replicate emotions in our autonomous AIs. So the information you gave us was used to create a personalized android based off of characteristics that you favored in the tests, and from that we created a personality for your android. She is as realistic as possible and fulfills the purpose you wanted, with a little extra thrown in too!” Ino was still talking very quickly and when combined with the endless winding of the staircase it served to only further disorient Y/N. 

Frustrated at their lack of comprehension on the topic Ino was babbling on and on about Y/N grabbed Ino's arm and stopped her both from talking and walking. “Ino please slow down, I'm not following. What purpose did I ever say I wanted an android for?” Y/N said exasperated. Ino blinked at them, her mouth falling into an open o shape. 

Looking away from them she flushed, when she spoke her speech had slowed down considerably, “Well you didn't explicitly say you wanted her to have a particular purpose but I assumed that you would like it if her purpose was to be a companion for you. You did say that making friends was hard due to your limited language skills so with her you would always have a friend. And on top of that we also gave her the ability to speak every known human language, so no matter where you go with her, she will always be able to help you with the language of that country.” She looked back at Y/N with a shy smile and continued, “She is going to be a complete sweetheart to you. I can tell you that, I programmed her personally. If all goes well with us fully waking her up, you and the other participants will all be able to take home your personalized android to continue testing. Our goal is to see if it’s possible to have an android with a near full range of human emotion that would allow them to do jobs that are stressful, dangerous and need careful action, while still maintaining the capability to de escalate and comfort those in need. Like… search and rescue paramedics or firefighters! And by having willing participants take the androids out and fully immerse them in day to day life, it will definitely prove if it’s possible.”

“What happens to her if the experiment succeeds? After it’s over I mean. Will she be scrapped?” Y/N said as they stared at the door at the bottom of the stairs. 

“Of course not Y/N-san, she would continue living just like how she was before the end of the experiment, minus all the mandatory testings she needs to undergo… Oh that reminds me, before I introduce you to her there are some things you need to know, you know rules and the like,” she said now slowly descending down the remaining stairs to the door.  Y/N now relieved at knowing what was about to happen when they entered the lab, followed after her, ready to listen intently to the rules they needed to follow.

“So first of all since this is an experimental form of AI you are going to have to bring her in biweekly for the first four months for little check ups, as there might be some problems with either the physical body she inhabits or glitches in her programming. If you happen to find any before the next check up feel free to bring her in before then, and we’ll fix her right up! Number two, she needs to be charged every 32 hours. She is able to use the solar panels embedded into her skin to self charge in direct sunlight but if she doesn’t get any direct sunlight and her battery starts to get low, then you will have to plug her in. Number three, while charging with the cord in she is not to do any energy consuming activities, so laying down or sitting are the best options. Light activity such as walking a very short distance is possible but not strongly advised, listening to music or watching children’s television shows will be fine, just make sure she won’t be processing any heavy amounts of information or moving too much. The last thing is less important for you to know but nonetheless, number four she is waterproofed so she is able to interact with water without being damaged. However just because she can wash dishes, walk in the rain and shower does NOT mean she can be fully submerged in water. So no baths or going scuba diving with her. Wading in a pool or lake is possible although not recommended.“

Y/N nodded sincerely as they programmed the instructions into their Holo-Cast so they wouldn’t forget them after leaving the lab, and despite their focus and serious diligence in recording the rules Ino could tell that they were excited. After all they were barely containing a smile as she opened the door to the room where the androids were all just awakening. Y/N looked up from what they were doing as Ino motioned for them to follow her into the room. 

Once in the room Ino quietly greeted her two fellow researchers as she guided Y/N past all the other pairings in the room and over to the single lone android. Ino stopped a few steps from where the android was sitting on the table, there was nothing on the table beside her but the blanket that at one point covered her body before her awakening. Disappointed but not surprised, Ino nudged Y/N forward to meet her while she went to go get the bag of the things the android would need, “Hinata, I have someone here to meet you.” She said, causing the android to turn her head and look at the pair. 

“Hello, I’m Hinata,” she said inquisitively. 

“Hello Hinata, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you,” Y/N responded enthusiastically albeit they did feel slightly uncomfortable due to the others around them already having extensive conversations.   

“Hi!!” Hinata said enthusiastically, she seemed to be a very bright and nearly childlike person and that made Y/N smile softly at her. They truly didn’t know what to say to Hinata and thus their conversations were short, and the silences between them long.  

Ino soon returned with a very large duffel bag and handed it off to Hinata’s waiting arms, “You’re going to be living with them from now on Hinata, that means you can leave the lab!” Hinata looked at Y/N intently and nodded slowly. She was starting to realize what the humans wanted from the other androids and she was wondering if Y/N was the same way. 

“Y/N one thing before you leave, feel free to bring her by anytime you want. We’d all love to see how you’re both doing. Okay?” Ino interjected as Hinata put on her jacket so the pair could leave. Y/N smiled graciously as they agreed to stop by sometime soon. And with that they left with Hinata in tow. 

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The pair were silent as they ascended the stairs, not a word was spoken between them until they got outside of the building at which point the bubble of awkward tension burst between them. Hinata reached out in a move that mirrored the one that Y/N did to Ino not even a half hour earlier. “What am I to you Y/N? I know all of us were created with a role in mind and I want to know the one you think I’m going to play.” Hinata said intensely, her eyes were locked on Y/N as she spoke. 

“It’s embarrassing to admit but I want you to be my friend. I moved here a year ago and despite spending time with my classmates after lectures I haven’t been able to make any real friends by myself due to a strong language barrier between us. I can understand if you-” 

Y/N had looked away from Hinata in shame while they spoke and they only looked back after Hinata’s once hard and quite frankly intimidating voice softened, “Do you really mean you want to be friends? You’re not going to make me into a servant or something?” 

Y/N blinked in shock at how quickly her attitude changed but nodded with a smile, "No Hinata, I’m not going to make you my servant. I want to be friends, although in all honesty I wouldn’t mind if you help with chores sometimes…” They trailed off as Hinata laughed brightly. She intertwined their hands and swung them back and forth as they walked away from Baseline Robotics™. 

“Can we go to a zoo? I want to see a real life hippopotamus Y/N!” Hinata asked excitedly. Y/N nodded as they giggled, Hinata was just so full of wonder at everything and it was endearing. 

“Of course we can Hinata, you little sweetheart.” 

They hadn’t gotten more than a block away when Y/N’s Holo-Cast lit up with a call from Ino. It was strange that Ino was calling them so soon after leaving but thinking it might be important Y/N picked up the call. As soon as they hit the receive option Ino’s frantic voice was heard, “Oh thank goodness you’re okay! You need to bring Hinata back here right now for deactivation befo-” 

“Deactivation? Ino what the hell are you talking about? Hinata hasn’t done anything to me other than hold my hand,” Y/N said while looking at Hinata who looked just as confused. 

“The other androids, they just... flipped out all of the sudden and attacked the volunteers. Most of the humans were sent to the emergency room from the damage the androids caused. We were supposed to have a program put in that stopped them from harming their humans unless they were in direct danger but the volunteers were all just trying to leave to go home and the androids just went crazy unprovoked… Y/N are you sure Hinata isn’t going to-” 

This time Hinata cut Ino off, “Why would I ever want to hurt my friend Researcher Ino? We are even going to the zoo together, I really want to see a real life hippo! Please don’t take me away from Y/N, i really like them… ” Hinata was pouting at the idea of not getting to spend time with her new best friend when they had met. 

Ino paused her pleas as she realized that Hinata must have not seen Y/N as a threat judging by the behaviour Y/N described and the way that Hinata spoke of them. 

In shock from Hinata at all but admitting that she would have lashed out in anger had their conversation gone differently,  Y/N looked at the small form of Hinata who was now crouched down and cooing at a pigeon, having been distracted from the conversation at hand by the small avian’s appearance. “She doesn’t seem to want to hurt me,” Y/N thought, “And if she was going to do it she would have done it when everyone else did. Plus she acts a lot like a child, so I doubt she would do it now.”

Ino sighed, “It’s your limbs that are at stake here. Fine, if you feel safe, then...carry on your way then.” 

The last thing Y/N saw before the call ended was Ino shaking her head in disbelief. With a chuckle Y/N called out to Hinata, “You heard the woman! Let’s roll out.”

“Okie Dokie!” Hinata affirmed, reaching for Y/N’s hand once more. Swinging their intertwined hands between them as they walked to the zoo.

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Two weeks later Y/N and Hinata went in for the first scheduled check up, where amazingly Ino found the same abnormalities in her code as the other androids displayed; and yet she still didn't attack Y/N. Outwardly there was no evidence of violent tendencies anywhere in Hinata. “But the code doesn't lie, so what made her refrain from attacking Y/N?” Ino thought aloud as she watched the physical portion of the check up from a safe distance. 

Everything seemed to be going how it should be going and despite the excitement her colleagues were showing at having a working android, Ino thought that she needed to be deactivated like the others or at least reprogrammed.

When the other researcher finished with Hinata, Ino got an idea. The best way to find out a person's reasoning behind their actions is the simplest way. To ask them. She took a deep breath and walked over, rehearsing what she'd say in her head on the way over. Putting a hand on Hinata’s shoulder Ino carefully asked her the question all the while trying to not to give away her true intentions. 

“Hello Hinata I'm happy to report that the physical evaluation shows you are in perfect condition, Y/N must be taking good care of you," That got a smile and a pleased nod from the android. Ino patted her shoulder and continued, "But I do have a question for you in regards to your code. You see when we were looking at your coding today during the psych testing, we found the same anomaly that caused the other androids to attack their human volunteers, in you, and yet you were the only one not to attack anyone. So I figured I'd ask you what all us researchers were thinking, why didn't you attack Y/N?” 

“They wanted me to be their friend, and I wanted to be their friend too! Friends don't hurt friends Ino,” Hinata said cheerfully. She looked towards Y/N like a child looking to their parent for affirmation of their good behaviour. Y/N smiled at her and squeezed her hand as they watched Ino take notes. 

“Well as much as I would like to take out that particular section of code that created the violent behavior, I have been ordered by the higher ups to leave it in as they don’t want to potentially compromise Hinata. Plus if she says she’s not going to act on it, I suppose we'll just have to trust her," Ino gave a good natured smile directed at Hinata before continuing, "However I will implement a tell that would allow you, Y/N to see if she's getting to a state where she would act violent.” Ino said as she plugged some of the cords that were laying next to the table Hinata was sitting on into the nape of Hinata's neck; quickly pulling out a tablet, Ino typed out a sequence of numbers and letters before setting the tablet back down. Turning back to the pair she grinned, "and now we wait for it to upload, Hinata just make sure to lay down otherwise your balance could get a little wonky. You'll undergo a quick recalibration of the senses and all that, and then you're free."

Hinata nodded and laid down carefully, Y/N kept a hand on her back to help guide her down. Their face betrayed a look of shock and a hesitation that looked closer to fear than worry to Ino as by now Hinata's eyes had turned a milky white to allow for the update to her code to complete.

"Don't you worry about the eyes Y/N, that's supposed to happen. Any update to her code or recalibration of her senses will limit her sight in order to not overwhelm her in the process.  You probably haven't had to charge her using the cord yet but you'll notice her eyes will do that when charging as well."

Y/N shook their head, shaking the image of Hinata sitting in a dark room looking limp with wires coming off her body and her eyes as empty as a corpse. In a quick attempt to permanently banish the thought from their brain they looked at Ino and spoke once more. “And what is the tell you put in, Ino? You're being very vague…” Y/N inquired, wary.

Ino handed Y/N a sheet of paper as she spoke, “Her hair will lighten when she’s in a bad mood, and darken when she's in a good mood. The lighter it is the worse her mood is, the darker her hair is the better her mood is.  If she's sad, it will have blue in it. And embarrassment will create a pink tinge to the tips of  her hair. Both of the last two are because she has no fluids to convey those types of emotions, and with plenty of deliberation between the researchers we determined they’re both essential." 

Y/N was not convinced that this whole "tell" thing wasn't a predetermined plan instead of the on the fly programming that Ino was trying to make it look like it was. After all why else would she have a sheet of paper already printed off with a comprehensive guide to the colouring of Hinata's hair? 

Realizing that Y/N had caught on, Ino hurriedly got Hinata unhooked so that the pointed look Ino was being given wouldn’t turn into another question, "Okay you are both ready to go, see you in two weeks.

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“Y/N can we watch Iron Man again? Pretty please?” Hinata whined. 

“No, but only because you were whining again. Remember what we talked about Hinata, we don't whine to get what we want.” Y/N chided as they put on their coat. 

Hinata slumped down in the chair, she was disappointed in herself for making Y/N upset at her again. She was really trying to act more sophisticated and not like a toddler but everything was so new to her and she wanted to see it all, but it was just so hard to curb her enthusiasm for life when her wants were sidelined to more important things. But she would have to try harder so that Y/N wouldn’t be upset at her anymore. 

“Hinata! Sweetheart, I know you’re sulking out there. Get up and come put your shoes on so that we can go out, my friends are waiting for us at the restaurant and I don’t want to be late,” Y/N called out from in front of the door. Standing up, Hinata smoothed the wrinkles out of her clothes and walked over to where Y/N stood. 

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“Hello Sakura. How are you?” Y/N stood with Hinata beside them as they greeted the back of a person. 

  The woman turned to face Y/N as if she was surprised that they had spoken to them, when she locked eyes with Y/N she immediately began to smile. Sakura stood up, her short pink hair bouncing as she pulled Y/N into a hug,“Y/N! There you are, it felt like you were never going to meet up with us again. Sai and I were missing you.” After pulling away she looked at Hinata and spoke again, “Who’s this Y/N?”

Y/N grabbed Hinata’s hand as they spoke, “This is Hinata, she’s my friend and roommate.”

Hinata was pleased by finally being acknowledged by Sakura, she smiled timidly and waved at the girl, the ends of her hair shifting to a rosy pink , “It's nice to meet you Sakura.” Her voice was gentle when she spoke, she really wanted to appear as mature and polite as possible so that Y/N would be even more happy, so she let Sakura tug her down into the seat next to her. 

Y/N sat across from her and immediately turned to talk to the person next to them. His voice was deep when he spoke and had a strange way of pronouncing Katlio that led Hinata to believe he must be foreign, and therefore probably the Sai that Sakura mentioned. 

Sai had fully black eyes and his arms were covered in slowly morphing tattoos. Hinata was shocked, she didn't know that humans could come out like that, it made her feel very strange, she couldn't quite place the emotion she was feeling when she saw the human.

What she did know was she absolutely hated the way that Y/N was looking at him. 

“Examining his tattoos Hinata?” Sakura teased from beside her, “They are really cool I will admit. But still tell us about yourself. Where are you from, how did you meet Y/N, you know all the good stuff.” She tossed her hair as she spoke although it didn't go very far due to its cropped length. 

Y/N spun their head to look at Hinata directly in the eyes, they were silently pleading with her to not reveal that she was an android. Hinata didn’t like knowing she had to lie but she understood that she needed to do it to keep Y/N happy. So after sending a reassuring smile to Y/N she turned back to Sakura. Carefully and with practiced grace, as if she was a spider moving across the strands of it’s web to trap a still fluttering butterfly, she began to spin her lie, “Well…it’s not a very exciting story guys. I was born in Canphia but moved away when I was really young. I recently came back to the city and the two of us met through a mutual friend not too long ago and we hit it off. Y/N asked if I wanted to be their roommate after they found out I was looking for a place.” Hinata shrugged nonchalantly after she spoke, Sakura seemed pleased with her answer and thus turned her attention to Sai. Hinata immediately looked over at Y/N with the hope that she did a good job. 

Y/N smiled at her in relief and thinking she looked a lot like a puppy reached over and ruffled Hinata’s hair. So far, having Hinata around was going really well for Y/N because even though they still weren’t the best at Canphia’s unique language they got confidence in knowing that they had someone who would always be able to help them out. 

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When Y/N and Hinata arrived home from the diner, Hinata grabbed Y/N’s hands and stopped them from going inside the apartment. When they looked at her in confusion she giggled nervously, the tips of her hair going light pink for the second time that day, “I saw something in a drama and I want to try it. May I Y/N?” She tilted her head in inquisition and waited for their answer. 

“As long as it’s not going to hurt anyone then sure,” Y/N responded. 

Hinata smiled at them, went up on her tiptoes and placed a gentle, lingering kiss on Y/N’s forehead, “It’s not because I love you, it’s because I love only you. If it’s not you then I won’t have anyone else.” When she pulled away she was smiling very brightly, she had been wondering why the men in movies always did this sort of thing to people they like, but after doing it herself, she could completely understand why. It felt really nice to show affection like that, so much so that it created a small fluttering deep inside her chest.

After a beat of stunned silence Y/N blinked repeatedly at her as they spoke, “Are you quoting an old romance drama at me? Remind me to no longer watch sappy shows with you.” With a good natured eyeroll that Hinata could tell wasn’t genuine annoyance, Y/N dragged her inside. 

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Hinata and Y/N had been meeting up with Sai and Sakura every Saturday for months now and although the number of people who attended, the food ordered and the conversations had were always different, the one thing Hinata could expect during these times was to be ignored by the group of humans and only used as a translator by Y/N. She was always kept at an arm's length and unless she forcefully inserted herself into the conversation nobody would seem to notice she was even there, not even her best friend and roommate, the beautiful shining and incredibly social butterfly, Y/N. 

They used to do almost everything together. From grocery shopping and cleaning, to going out to the movies Hinata and Y/N were inseparable, no matter what they were doing they would always make it fun. Nothing was done around each other without trying to make the other laugh. Throwing popcorn, random tickle fights and long cuddle sessions on the couch when Y/N had a stressful day. Hinata cherished all of the moments they spent together, but now Hinata was not sure Y/N felt the same. 

But then it changed.

Soon Hinata practically had to beg for a simple good morning from Y/N. They had been coming home from school and immediately retreating into their room. They didn’t come out for anything and the light would stay on until very late into the night. Hinata tried everything to get their attention and yet no matter what she did none of it mattered because they never saw it. It was like she didn't even exist to her butterfly anymore. 

Afterall what is the spider who must stay grounded on her web to the butterfly with the freedom to explore not only the skies but the world below.

She even had to go to her last biweekly checkup without them, and those days were always spent together no matter how busy Y/N was. 

Then just that morning Y/N had asked Hinata to come with them to lunch and she was ecstatic, she dressed up nicely and did her hair just the way Y/N liked it. Soft bangs styled to frame her face, with the rest of her hair cascading down her back,  it was perfect for them to run their hands through, but that same hair which was normally a deep purple, nearing black was now a striking platinum blonde. 

She was at one point during the walk to the diner, hopeful that her relationship with Y/N would go back to normal and yet here she was still being ignored after months of the same torture over and over again. And any hope of waiting for things to go back to normal was crushed as the new guy, Neji wrapped his arm around Y/N's waist. He had been flirting with Y/N the whole time and what was making it positively intolerable was the fact that Hinata had to keep translating the flirtatious comments to Y/N. 

And what made it worse were the reactions Y/N gave. With every laugh and turn of their head to hide their flustered face, or the casual touches that Y/N would reciprocate Neji’s advances with, Hinata felt a sharp pain in her chest. Like a knife being shoved in and twisted. Hinata was starting to resent her creators for giving her the capability to feel. What exactly she was feeling was a mystery to Hinata but she knew that it hurt. It hurt a lot.

After over an hour of being positively miserable Hinata had finally had enough. Abruptly standing up she stormed out of the diner. As she left she accidentally knocked over the chair she was sitting in and the clang of the metal chair hitting the floor caused the conversation at her table to screech to a halt. 

 Y/N was extremely embarrassed by her behavioural changes and they apologized for Hinata. Excusing themself, they picked up the chair as they left, catching the door before it shut, thus the bell failing to ring again. When they got outside they were greeted with Hinata leaning against a light post while pouting. Normally Y/N would have simply talked to Hinata about her terrible behavior but they had never seen her hair such a stark white before. Sure they'd seen her hair a light brown or even a natural looking blonde but never white, immediately getting concerned and scared, Y/N walked around to the diner's alleyway where they could still see Hinata while not allowing her to see them. Y/N commed Ino on their Holo-Com to make sure she was available for an emergency visit. 

Hinata was even more miserable now, she was alone in the middle of the day and she had nothing to do. Now she couldn't even send dirty looks to that Neji guy who kept flirting with her Butterfly. The street was mostly silent save for the passing of vehicles along the road, which was a blessing. At least she had the quiet rhythm of the late afternoon traffic to help calm her down. Brushing her now blue bangs out of her eyes, she started to count the cars passing her on the street. At least that would give her something to think about other than Y/N and that stupid human man flirting with each other.

Behind her the door to the diner opened up, the bell above the door rang and soon the sound of footsteps followed. Whoever it was moved towards where Hinata was standing, watching the movement along the busy street. The footsteps stopped behind her and immediately Hinata knew who was standing there. 

“Hey Himiko right? After you left Y/N followed, have you seen them? I just want to see how-” Neji cut himself off as Hinata slowly turned around, something wasn't right with her eyes. They were soulless, empty, and not at all human. Neji staggered back as Hinata began to smile, a smile that didn't reach past her lips. 

Hinata walked towards Neji, enjoying how he was trying to pretend he wasn't scared of her. In a split second of panic Neji wound up and punched Hinata in the throat only to be met with something rock hard that hurt him more than it hurt Hinata. But that was all Hinata needed. In the blink of an eye Neji was on the ground, his nose broken and bloody. 

Y/N was watching this from around the corner in shock. Hinata with her snow white hair had just sent a man crashing to the ground with blood pouring from his face. She stood over the now unconscious Neji, blood dripping from her knuckles. Y/N was shaking in fear when Ino picked up the com they had sent. 

“Come here now,” Ino said before hanging up.

Y/N nodded and walked toward where Hinata was. They stood beside her and offered their shaking hand. “Hinata how about we go for a walk together okay? To clear our heads, maybe we'll go see our friend Ino.” Y/N said tensely. At this point Sakura had seen Neji and was rushing out to go help him thus Y/N felt comfortable leaving him. 

Hinata on the other hand was excited, she hadn't seen Ino in a while and her Butterfly wanted to spend time with her again. Clasping their hand in hers, they began to walk toward Baseline Robotics™. Y/N wanted to vomit due to the sticky feeling of Neji's blood on their hand.

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“So you're concerned because her hair turned white after you spent over an hour using her as a translator so that a guy could successfully flirt with you? And then she punched the same guy who was flirting with you after already being incredibly annoyed by him. Y/N you realize how ridiculous that is right? Hinata did that because she was jealous and didn’t know better than to lash out physically, especially since from what you said he threw the first punch. That registered to her coding as an immediate threat, so of course she removed the threat by incapacitating him,” Ino said as she sipped her smoothie. With a chuckle she set her drink down and motioned to Hinata who was playing with one of the robotic hands on the table while listening in.

“Y/N we made Hinata specifically so that she could emulate human emotions while still being fully autonomous. You have to remember, she's comparable to a puppy, she has you and that's about it at the moment. She probably feels very protective of you since she doesn't know anyone as well as she knows you, and because of that she is very attached to you. So when you bring her places with you and then ignore her in favour of other people it irritates her. Just like how you'd feel if the person you love was ignoring you constantly. She may have copper wires instead of iron in veins but she is essentially human so treat her that way. Then everything will be fine and you won't face that problem again. Okay?” 

Y/N nodded relieved and mildly embarrassed, walking over to Hinata who was listening intently to the conversation. “I-... I think that I owe you an apology Hinata. How I treated you today was unfair, and I swear I won’t allow it to happen again. Come on sweetheart let's go home, we can watch your favourite movie and cuddle, just… let me make it up to you?” Y/N said as Ino's words replayed over and over in their head. 

Hinata grinned widely, her hair slowly darkening at the roots, turning her whole head black once more, the bangs however still remained tinted blue, but in the dimmed light of the lab it was near impossible to notice. She dropped the disembodied arm and grabbed for Y/N’s hands and as the pair made their way home one thing in particular about what Ino said stuck out to Y/N. Did Hinata really do that to Neji because she was in with love Y/N? Y/N didn't really believe it, after all why would she, they were friends.

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Another lunch over and Hinata was excited to go home so she and Y/N could hopefully watch a movie together. Over the course of the week Hinata had been formulating a plan, a plan that she carefully acted on all throughout that day’s lunch meet up. She was just waiting for Y/N to come out of the washroom so they could leave when Sai and Sakura came over to say goodbye after lunch. 

“Hey Hinata before we go, we wanted to remind you to tell Y/N that next week we’re going to eat lunch at the cafe closer to campus. Oh and one more thing... thank you for giving us our Y/N back.” Sai said with an uncharacteristically soft voice before Sakura managed to drag him over to her bike.

 Hinata's hair lightened in the blink of an eye at the comment Sai made, she was on the verge of starting to scream at the pair when the familiar voice of Y/N interrupted her, “What did they say about me? I heard my name but couldn’t quite catch anything else” they asked sweetly. 

She plastered on a fake smile and shook her head, “You don’t want to know.” She laughed awkwardly and held out a hand for Y/N to take. Y/N frowned and took hold of her hand as they walked back home. 

“What. did. they. say. Hinata.”

“They told me that I was ‘too good to be stuck hanging around’ you,” Hinata sighed deeply, really uncomfortable with saying it.

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Y/N had been getting more and more suspicious of Hinata with every weekly lunch meetup. It seemed as though every time that Y/N didn’t understand a remark made about them during those times Hinata would frown and look away as if she was in pain. If they pressed her to say what she'd heard she would confess that the people they were with were insulting them. At first they didn't believe it but now they were starting to believe her, since they stopped getting invited group activities with their so called friends.

Y/N was actually getting lonely from the lack of contact they were getting in the brief amount of time they were actually invited to go and meet with friends. But the greatest sting was when not even a week after their exams finished, the people that Y/N thought were friends had ditched them. And the one person they thought they could rely on was being distant.

It was getting harder to fall asleep every night as the hole in their chest just kept eating away at Y/N, telling them that all their worst fears were true. They had cried themself to sleep as many as six times in the past two weeks. The worst part however was just how exhausting the isolation had become.

The clock read 3:45AM and Y/N was just starting to fall asleep when a loud crash was heard from out in the living room. Thinking it was an intruder, Y/N immediately thought of Hinata and how valuable she would be if some devious rival to Baseline Robotics™ had found out about her existence. Leaping out of bed in a panic to protect her, Y/N grabbed a heavy book and slowly crept their way into the kitchen. The noise continued while Y/N made their way to where the sounds were originating from. Once in the kitchen they continued to creep forward into the living room where they flicked the lights on ready to attack the intruder; only to see Hinata now standing over a now completely decimated roomba. 

“Hinata? What the hell are you doing to our roomba!” Y/N whisper yelled, Hinata only pouted in response and raised her leg presumably to stomp on it again. With a sigh Y/N put the book down and looked at Hinata in the eyes, they were fed up with life, exhausted, angry and very willing to take it out on her, “I'm going to ask you this one more time. What the fuck. Do. You. Think. You're. Doing?” 

Hearing the anger in Y/N's voice Hinata lowered her leg and the colour blue creeped into her hair, “I missed you and I wanted to see you again without having to be around those... humans,” she said softly. 

“But what does that have to do with the roomba, which, need I remind you, is nothing but a vacuum?” Y/N whisper-yelled, they were so very confused.

“Because you love it more than you love me,” Hinata screamed. She paused and ran a hand through her deep blue hair in an effort to calm down before she spoke again “Ever since you got it months ago you've been ignoring me, you said when we first met that you wanted to be friends. Now you ignore me unless you want to go see those humans you call friends when all they do is insult you to your face when they know you can't understand them. I hate the fact that despite being used as nothing more than a translator by you, I still can't find it in me to stop loving you… You're my whole world but I know I'm not yours and that scares me. I'm scared that you will leave me all alone…” Hinata hung her head, if she could cry, she would have. She walked off into her sparsely decorated room and shut the door with a heavy sigh. 

Y/N was left alone once more and as they stood in the oppressive silence of the living room, they realized just how much they messed things up. Their priorities clearly hadn't been straight in a very long time and instead of being the person Hinata needed, they were selfish and used her. “But even though all that, she still cares for me…” Y/N said in muted shock, a hand rushing to cover their mouth, it was sickening to realize, and Y/N’s stomach lurched at the thought. They attempted to look at the floor but everything blurred as their eyes filled with tears. All those feelings of abandonment, of isolation, of loss and desperation; like a butterfly desperately searching, flying high and low to find a particular flower to feed off of, these past few weeks could have been avoided if they had simply looked to their side where Hinata was waiting for them. Hinata, the shy violet that was consistently rooted in Y/N’s life even when they willingly became blind to her.

 Y/N didn't see it before but they truly did love her more than anyone else. And all that it took to come to this realization was facing the potential loss of the only person to still love Y/N even after countless weeks of neglecting both Hinata’s emotional needs, and their own. 

With a newfound determination they looked towards where Hinata's room was. The hallway leading to the bedrooms was still dark but despite this Y/N traversed it with the familiarity of their many months with each other, they needed to make right what they nearly completely messed up. 

Knocking on Hinata's door Y/N called out to her, “Hinata, sweetheart, I'm sorry. I want to apologize to you, I haven't been treating you very well recently and I'm so sorry for that. I got so excited by the idea that I would end up with more friendships than before and I ended up using you. I realize now that I made a huge mistake. The people who I wanted to impress the most turned their backs on me and instead of spending time with you I became a recluse. Everything I thought I knew about the people I cared about was a lie. And I've been so damn blind to all the signs around me that even though I knew that you loved me, I never even realized that this whole time, I loved you back. Avoiding you even though you were the only person who was ever truly my friend was the biggest mistake I could have ever made. And I did it… I don't expect you to forgive me… I just- ... I just really want you to know that I am so sorry for how I've treated you, I never deserved to have someone as kind as you in my life.” 

Y/N's face was hot with shame as tears rolled down their cheeks. Their strength was suddenly missing from their legs and they slid down the wall next to her bedroom door that they had been using as a crutch. 

When the door opened Y/N heard soft whimpers that weren't their own, in the doorway stood Hinata looking like she was on the verge of tears. Everything was silent for a moment as the pair just stared at each other. Y/N knew that in that moment if Hinata could cry, she would have been.

“I-I forgive you Y/N. But y-you have to promise me th-that you won't do that to me ever again. I would never leave you all alone, so if you're feeling upset you could always talk to me. Just don't shut me out again okay?” Hinata hiccupped. She knelt down and put her head on Y/N's shoulder and an arm around their side as tears continued to make their way down Y/N's cheeks. “One more thing… I want you to say that I'm yours. Like they do in all the dramas.” she said gently, she wanted to improve the mood somehow and at the moment that seemed to be the best way to do it. 

“I will, but only if you're going to do the same,” Y/N murmured as they clung onto Hinata's pyjamas. 

Hinata's arms reached around and pulled them into a warm and tender embrace, allowing Y/N to take comfort in finally seeing that they were not alone at all. The duo stayed just like that until Y/N became tired enough that they fell asleep, their hand still bunched up with a fistfull of Hinata’s nightgown. 

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When the beginnings of the golden light of the sunrise entered their apartment Hinata couldn't help but look down at her sleeping lover. They looked so peaceful, so sweet, so pretty, so delicate, just like a little butterfly; lying there with their head on her lap as they clutched onto the hem of her nightshirt in their sleep. Hinata wanted to live in that moment forever. The warmth of the sun hitting her face made her feel energized and the soft fluttering feeling was back, much stronger now, like the beating of one thousand pairs of wings. This time it filled her up so completely she imagined that she had lots of little birds flying through her chest.  As silly as it sounds, to Hinata anything and everything felt possible in that moment. 

It was wonderful, although a small dark flicker passed through her mind. She didn't let it affect her pleasant mood though, after all she did spend so much time carefully weaving her little web. It had taken months for her to carefully weed out the people who were taking her Butterfly from her. Hours upon hours of listening to meaningless conversations, waiting for a phrase that could be twisted around to become insulting or demeaning and then relaying that information back to Y/N in her native tongue. And all of it so that they would realize that she was the only person for them. They didn't need anyone else if she was by their side. 

It was so adorable that they maintained their naïvety throughout their life, but it was also just as dangerous. If she was able to manipulate Y/N so easily then who else would see that and try and take them away from her. Especially because they fell for every word she told them hook line and sinker without suspecting anything at all.

“Yes it is far safer for them to have only me,” she thought as she stroked Y/N's cheek with her thumb. And yet it still weighed heavily on her mind, afterall she was taught that lying to the people she cared for was very, very bad. She didn't like that she was forced to do such a thing to the person she loved more than anything else, but plenty of relationships where one person lies to the other work in movies. After all love is stronger than everyone and everything that would attempt to get in the way of it. Hinata knew that they would be an example of this now that she finally had Y/N all to herself. 

Hinata hummed a soft tune as she picked up Y/N to put them in their bed. They were soon gently slipped under the covers with it, tucked snugly around their body. 

Sitting next to them for a moment Hinata lingered a while, they looked positively delectable afterall. Irresistible in fact. So gathering what courage she had and mixing it with that light floaty sense of contentment she felt, Hinata leaned down and with a soft smile kissed Y/N's forehead as they slept. Torn between wanting to surprise them when they woke up and staying to watch them as they slept; eventually after much deliberation the android stood up to go make them breakfast.

Savouring the moment for a little longer she pet Y/N's cheek fondly, as she thought aloud, “Ino was right, we aren't so different at all. In fact we are perfect together. Copper and iron.”

[rhysismydaddy]

Naughty Neighbors pt. 1 (Elriel)

Synopsis: Elain’s stuck in a dead end relationship, bored beyond belief with her life. When she befriends her brand new neighbor, it’s like taking a breath of fresh air. But with each day of friendship, she grows more and more drawn to him and the past he’s desperate to escape. His smile is all she thinks about, invading her head at the most inconvenient moments. He’s made his intentions with her perfectly clear, but she’s determined to resist his charms. She won’t allow him to turn her calm, quiet life upside down. Right?

I’M SORRY THIS HAS TAKEN SO LONG. Moving did NOT go smoothly, and my professors are taking online classes a little ~seriously~ even though they haven’t started yet lol. 

Part 2 should be out by Wednesday, and it’s in Azriel’s POV :))))) This one’s a slow burn ladies and gentlemen, so get ready for some pent up desire 

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Elain rolled over in bed, somehow too hot and cold at the same time. Gods, she was miserable. Her boyfriend was next to her, snoring loudly, and the sound did nothing to help her worsening mood. 

She was so exhausted-- when you owned a flower shop, wedding season was always hectic--but sleep had been refusing to find her for the past hour. 

It didn’t help that she had a moose-sounding man in the room. 

Reminding herself that she loved him and definitely didn’t want to strangle him in his loud ass sleep, she rolled over and pulled a pillow on her head. 

Somehow, after two years of dating, she hadn’t gotten used to how loudly Lucien snored. 

Thank the gods we don’t live together, she thought, then admonished herself for it. 

They would eventually. 

She just had to get used to it. 

The pillow over her head became suffocating, only adding to the over-heating problem, so she threw the covers off, grabbed a robe, and walked out. After going up a few flights of stairs, she found herself on the roof. 

It was the place she always went when she was stressed or sad or just needed to see the night sky. She’d even started a garden a few months ago, so she started to head over to check on it. 

But then she saw who was sitting on the bench in front of her rose bushes and paused. 

Paused and stared, because the man sitting in front of her wearing dark clothes and a smirk was both classically beautiful and dangerous. 

He was the kind of man most men would do anything not to fight and women would do anything to bed. 

Smoke curled around him, and the shadows somehow seemed to cling to his tall frame. The stranger dwarfed the small bench, large frame taking up enough space for two. Even though he was sitting, she could tell he was well over six feet. And built like a Greek god, if the way his black, long sleeve t-shirt clung to his chest was any indication.  

He was the most attractive man she’d ever seen, and that was without taking in the strong, clean shaven jaw, hazel eyes, and hair the color of spilled ink. 

And oh fuck, he was studying her, too. A shiver ran over her as she realized she was covered in just her robe. 

Her body begged her to both run far away and draw closer, and for some reason, she listened to the urge to do the latter. 

“Who are you?” she asked as she walked through the maze of flowers. 

“Who are you?” he shot back, not answering her question. Her body reacted to his voice alone, goosebumps raising at the cold but somehow soothing tone. 

A breeze caused her hair to swirl around her as she replied, “I’m Elain. What are you doing here?”

He jerked his chin at the cigarette dangling from his fingertips, but that wasn’t exactly what she’d been asking. “No, I mean what are you doing here?”

“I live here, Elain.”

She realized she shouldn’t have told him her name, because now he could say it in that sexy, very manly voice of his and it would do strange things to her sanity. 

He said her name like a lover would, soft and sensual, but also coldly amused. He sounded like he knew her, like he’d known her for years. 

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.” His eyes are laughing at her now, but he didn’t sound mean. 

"Which apartment?”

“4B.”

Elain’s eyebrows pinched together at that news. She lived in 4A and hadn’t even noticed she’d gotten a new neighbor. Then again, she’d been at work all day. “Oh. I guess we’re neighbors then.”

A small smile graced his full lips, and she studied it before forcing her eyes back to his. “Lucky me.”

Oh, gods. Was he... flirting with her? 

She didn’t even know. It had been so long since someone had that she’d forgotten what it sounded like. 

So she rolled her eyes good naturedly, leaning against the brick railing encasing the roof. 

“Sneaking out for a smoke?” His voice was like gravel and smoke, and his hazel eyes raked over her body in a way that made her shiver. 

“Couldn’t sleep.”

He nodded, then extended the cigarette to her in question. She smiled but shook her head and said, “I don’t smoke.”

“A good girl, then.” He didn’t sound at all bothered by that statement. And once again, his hazel eyes skirted down her body. “Do you want to sit down?”

There was almost no room on the bench, but it beat standing on the edge of the roof on such a breezy night, so she walked over and sat as far away from him as possible. 

It was still way too close. 

Her arm was pressed against hers, allowing her to feel the dense muscle covering it. She doubted she could wrap both hands around it completely, but she shut down the urge to try as she crossed her legs casually.

The warmth from his body seeped into her, goosebumps raising where they touched. “You’re warm,” she commented stupidly. 

“Are you cold?” he asked, hazel eyes scanning her face, then dropping slightly. 

No small amount of horror grew when she realized what he’d glanced at. She crossed her arms over her chest, then scowled when he grinned. 

Her eyebrows flew up, though, when a heavy arm landed across her shoulders and tucked her into a warm, firm side. 

Oh, gods above every place they connected was tingling. Heat rushed into her--both between her legs and from his side.

She needed a heat CT. 

“Is this your garden?” he asked, taking a puff of his cigarette and blowing the smoke away from her. 

She nodded, then realized her head was pressed against his chest. Elain pulled away slightly, then asked, “Will you tell me your name?”

His hazel eyes were dark, like molten caramel. She felt lost in him. “What will you give me in return?”

Every inch of her body went taut and loose at the same time. Her thigh was suddenly warm, and she looked down to see his hand resting on her skin. The back of his hand was covered in scars and tattoos and his palm was covered in callouses, but it was nothing but gentle and warm on her thigh. 

Her maybe-neighbor was perfectly still, his face cool and composed while he waited for her to react. But his eyes told her exactly what would happen if she leaned into him just a tiny amount. 

And gods, she wanted to. 

Something was holding her back though. A small voice was screaming at her, and a disgusting amount of guilt crept up her shoulders. Almost jumping out of her skin, she remembered whose existence she’d forgotten completely. 

Lucien.

Her boyfriend. 

The man she’d been attempting to sleep next to not an hour ago.

She pulled away, instantly missing his warmth. “I have a boyfriend,” she said unceremoniously and with about as much enthusiasm as someone declaring grandma was dead. 

His eyes went a little darker, even as the corner of his lips twitched. “Hm.”

“I should go.” That was beyond true. 

Lucien was trusting, and their relationship was relaxed, but practically snuggling with another man wasn’t right. Even if it was all she wanted to do at the moment. 

“Okay.”

“I hope we can be friends in the future,” she said, trying to maintain polite normalcy. “But only if you tell me your name.”

Once again, those amber eyes slid over her, and she was very, very grateful she’d crossed her arms. “We’re never going to be friends, Elain.”

The way he said it didn’t feel like a rejection; it felt like a challenge. Her body thrummed, even as she shook her head slightly and started back down the stairs. 

The picture of his face followed her all the way into her apartment, sticking in her head until she fell asleep with a soft smile on her face. 

~

The next morning, she woke up and had breakfast with Lucien, who hardly glanced up from his eggs as he asked, “Where’d you go last night? I heard you get up.”

Her heart started to race even though she’d done nothing wrong. Technically. Calming her voice, she said, “I went to the roof to check on the garden. Couldn’t sleep.”

Lucien just shrugged, knowing this was pretty typical for her. 

She knew she should tell him she’d met their new neighbor, but for some reason, her mouth stayed shut. Probably because she didn’t even know his name. 

It definitely wasn’t because she’d almost kissed him. 

“I have to go; I have an early meeting.” He worked at a corporate finance place downtown, so this wasn’t exactly groundbreaking. He got up from the table, navy suit slightly wrinkled, and kissed her brow. “Thanks for breakfast. I’ll come back Friday, okay?”

This also wasn’t news. He stayed at her place a few nights a week, most of the time Sunday and Friday. She didn’t go to his that often because she didn’t have a car and liked to walk to work. 

Elain nodded and smiled, then went to get ready once he’d left. 

Were twenty-four year-olds supposed to feel like this? Like they were stuck on a conveyor belt, destined to do the same thing for the rest of her life?

It sometimes felt like she’d gone to sleep and woken up in the life of a fifty-year old housewife. 

Whenever he stayed over, he liked coming home to a clean house and meal, so she cooked for him, pretending to love it, when in reality, she’d be just as happy eating takeout on the sofa. 

She greeted him with a smile, and they talked and watched TV together, then went to bed at the same time every night. 

And gods, it was starting to get boring. 

Even the sex was starting to follow a routine. It wasn’t written down, but Elain had noticed they slept together at the beginning of the month, then not at all for a few weeks. 

She missed the beginning of the relationship, when they were so in love and crazy about each other they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.  

She didn’t expect fireworks after being together for so long, but... it had only been two years. And despite never mentioning it, Lucien was bound to propose at some point. 

Could she do this for the rest of her life? Go to work, come home, cook, go to bed? Did she love him enough for fifty years of the same routine?

That thought shocked her. Of course she did. 

He was perfect for her. He didn’t keep secrets, had a good job, and treated her with kindness and respect. So what if the fizzle had worn off? 

So what if she got more turned on sitting on a cold bench next to a complete stranger than after actual foreplay with her boyfriend?

It meant nothing. 

At least, that’s what she told herself as she put on a light blue dress and sandals and fixed her hair. 

Once she was ready, she walked outside and started down the street to her store. It was only a five minute walk, one of her favorite things about her apartment’s location. 

“Elain,” came a low voice from right next to her. 

Surprised, she turned to see her brand new neighbor walking next to her. Just like last night, he was dressed in dark jeans and a black t-shirt. But with the light she could make out his features better, and it did nothing to sway her of how attractive she found him. 

“Good morning.”

He smiled, and she found herself mimicking the expression. 

I mean, when someone who looked like a villainous Prince Charming smiled at you, you smiled back. 

“Better now,” he told her in a low tone, still smirking. 

“You’re a horrible flirt,” she laughed, brushing off how the comment made her skin tingle. 

“Horrible?” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, lighting one as they walked. “I’ll have to step up my game then. You look beautiful today.”

“I amend my statement. You’re a mediocre flirt.”

He blew a cloud of smoke around him and rolled his eyes, and she grinned agian. She did that a lot around him, she realized. It was easy to. 

There was just something alluring about him. He was dark and cold and beyond mysterious, but also sensual in a way she’d never seen before. It both threw her off guard and made her want to be reckless for once in her life. 

“Where are you going?”

“Work. I own the flower shop down on third street,” she told him proudly. The shop was her life’s work, and it made her insanely happy to tell people about it. 

“The Archeron?” he asked, and her brows shot up in surprise. “I work across the street. Start today, actually.”

“Oh, at the tattoo place?” 

The idea of getting a needle stabbed into her skin over and over again made her nauseous. 

Azriel noticed her expression. “You ever come in, I’ll give you a discount.”

“I’ll absolutely never take you up on the offer, but thank you. If you ever want a lovely bouquet, feel free to come on in.”

His hazel eyes met hers. “And what if I just want to see you? Do I still have to buy flowers?” There was a blush on her cheeks, and his eyes darkened when he saw it. “I like making you blush.”

Gods above, the man wasn’t giving up. 

She was surprised to find she didn’t want him to. 

She deflected anyway. “Fine. You’re an average flirt.” 

“Oh, baby girl, you have no idea.” They were somehow already in front of her shop, and he looked through the window and grimaced. “On second thought, if I want to see you, I’ll just knock on your door. Lot of flowers in there.”

“That’s kind of the point,” she reminded him, blocking out the picture of Azriel coming over to her apartment. “If I want to see you, who should I ask for?”

Humor flickered across his hard features, but he still shot down the request. 

“If you need me, I’ll be across the street encouraging people to make horrible decisions.”

Laughing, she unlocked the store and watched him walk away. Somehow, even though it was broad daylight, he was a spot of darkness on the street. 

She didn’t even know his name, but she was tempted to follow him, just to see his smile again. If seeing him smile made her feel that happy, how would it be to hear his laugh? 

More than anything, she wanted to find out.

And Elain knew right there that he’d been completely right: they would never be friends. 

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Part 2

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