#But it doesn’t apply to those two bands I mentioned because they both are fantastic and I have many many favourites by them

[lieutenant-amuel]

What is your favorite singer and/or band?

I don’t think I have a favourite singer. As for bands, my faves are Queen and Breaking Benjamin.

[hp-nextgen-fest]

2020 HP Next Gen Fest Reveals!

The time has finally come for the 2020 @hp-nextgen-fest reveals! Thank you so very much to everyone who has made this fest such an amazing success! We were incredibly impressed with the overwhelming enthusiasm you all have for our favorite Next Gen characters. Everyone who submitted stories and art, and those who read, reviewed and recced: You guys are amazing!! It's been really great seeing everybody's fantastic creations, and we hope you all enjoyed the fest as much as we did! Without further ado, here's a list of all the amazing participants who worked so hard to create fabulous things for this year's fest!

ART

@miakagrewup drew AcciDental Magic [Rose, Hugo, & Grandparents | General] Hermione and Ron are called away for a case and left without their usual child-minder when Molly falls ill. Hermione’s parents step up to keep Hugo and Rose, in spite of Hermione’s warning that the two little ones have some big issues with accidental magic. The story is told comic book style, with illustrations and voice bubbles.

@eleonorapoe drew Woke up married! [James Sirius/Teddy | General] They get well and truly bladdered at Albus's stag do and wake up in bed together with matching wedding bands...

@mad1492 drew Sunday Practice [James Sirius/Teddy | General] Teddy thought that morning practice on Sunday was going to be something he would soon regret, but things may turn more interesting than expected.

@julcheninred drew Introduction [Albus, Severus, & Albus Severus | General] Albus Severus Potter gets to know the men he's named for by asking them about the experiences, memories, and motives that shaped their lives.

@garmrr drew Eyecandy [James Sirius/Teddy | General] After months of extensive Auror training, Teddy comes with the Potters to the beach. James. Cannot. Stop. Staring. At. Teddy. Shirtless.

FIC

@cassiaratheslytherpuff wrote We Keep Loving Anyway [Albus Severus/Scorpius | Explicit | 7.1k] After Albus finds out Scorpius is part vampire he can’t stop thinking about being bitten. He can’t stop thinking about Scorpius in general, but that’s been the case since he was fifteen. At least, when it comes to Scorpius he’s used to not getting what he wants. He’s happy with what he has, or at least, comfortable. That is until he accidentally asks for it, then it all starts to change.

@polly-darton wrote The perks of Veritaserum [James Sirius/Teddy | Explicit | 5.1k] James drank a long-lasting version of Veritaserum and is miserable and Teddy is having the time of his life. That is, until they’re both having the time of their lives.

@gracerene09 wrote Thunderstruck [Charlie/Teddy | Explicit | 2.6k] There’s not a lot for dragon tamers to do when stuck inside during a storm, but looking at this particular new recruit―well, Charlie can’t help but think of a few ways they could pass the time.

Quentin_threepwood wrote Hair Today, Hair Tomorrow [Albus Severus/Scorpius | Mature | 1.7k] Away on a book tour Albus Severus Malfoy grows a very creepy mustache, much to the horror of his still at home husband Scorpius Malfoy.

vitruvian8008 wrote Mission in Nairn [Draco/Lily Luna | Explicit | 7k] Lily Luna Potter is paired with Draco Malfoy for her first Auror Mission. On their last night, she decides to act on the lingering tension that had been building up between them.

@nerdherderette wrote No Other Alpha But You [Albus Severus/James Sirius | Explicit | 7.1k] Scorpius Malfoy has applied to be Albus' heat partner. There's no way James is letting that happen.

@aneiria-writes wrote The Scorpion King [Albus Severus/Scorpius | Explicit | 3.8k] Scorpius Malfoy, AKA the Scorpion King, has ruled Britain ever since his father turned his sights to conquering Europe. With his right-hand man and most trusted advisor, Albus Potter, Scorpius has a life of elegance and power. But he's had enough of the beautiful women that usually grace his bed. Scorpius has decided he wants something else in bed. Something more. Scorpius Malfoy wants Albus Potter.

@motherofmercury wrote Islands of the Upper Air [Lily Luna/Luna | General | 1.5k] Lily Luna has never liked her namesake, or her strange and sometimes absurd way of looking at the world. But a weekend full of ancient rituals and mountain forests is an eye opener, in more ways than one.

@shipperysails-bookofspells wrote Expecto Patronum!! [James Sirius/Teddy | Mature | 45.7k] James Potter had always known exactly what he wanted; to open a pub of his own, maybe travel the world, and live a simple life with the only man he’d ever loved. For years he waited, quietly determined to help Teddy see what could be between them. But just when everything he’d ever dreamed of was finally within his reach, it was ripped away in an instant. With Teddy missing, and presumed dead, James is left to pick up the pieces. John has no idea what he wants. He doesn’t even know who he is. But when he hears a strikingly familiar voice – on an otherwise ordinary day – he sets out to discover everything he can about the man that occupies his dreams. And Harry, well, Harry just wants to put his failures behind him. Until a series of unexpected events forces him to reexamine a case that he’d given up on solving. With the help of an unexpected ally, he just might find the answers he’s been looking for.

@lovealpenglow wrote lily's potter [Lily Luna/Lysander & Lily Luna/Draco | Mature | 8.3k] "But what if I keep it? What’s the contingency plan there?” She took a seat next to Lily. She spoke slowly, as if she was thinking about it for the first time, too. “Well, I mean, you keep your baby. You raise it. You love it. It goes on to do wonderful things because it’s a Potter.” Lily snorted. “It’s a Potter?” “Why not? I mean it’s just as much you as whoever is the father. Why shouldn’t it be a Potter first?”

@micheleblack wrote Snaked a Claim [Albus Severus/Scorpius | Teen | 1.6k] Everyone knew Albus was gay from age five when he would dramatically swoon every time Goncalo Flores the Quidditch player was mentioned. Twenty years later and Harry still tells the tale - much to Al’s embarrassment.

@ladderofyears wrote And I Fell Heavy (Into Your Arms) [James Sirius/Teddy | Explicit | 9.1k] When James Sirius Potter travels to America for three weeks, the turquoise-haired Healer Teddy Lupin misses his boyfriend very much indeed. Luckily, Teddy has (sexy) floo calls, charmed obsidian pendants and hastily made chastity promises to keep him busy. Based on the following prompt: Absence makes the heart grow fonder... Right? Smutty phone!sex? Longing letters? All up to you!

@veelawings wrote Dirty Duelling [Albus Severus/Draco | Explicit | 6.1k] Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want (Or — fucked up Dirty Dancing with wand fights)

@eleonorapoe wrote Albus’ Private Lesson of Sex Education [Albus Severus/James Sirius/Teddy | Explicit | 4.5k] Albus has some doubts about sex. Luckily he has an older brother, who can initiate him. How does this lesson go? James will be the teacher, Albus his good and obedient student and Teddy will be more than happy to serve them as a learning tool. In which a delicious Teddy sandwich is served.

@faeheyjesper wrote Four Reasons [James Sirius/Teddy | General | 8.1k] There were a couple of things James should've considered more seriously before coming back to work at Hogwarts as the new Flying Instructor. His dad being the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor there, for one. The fact that he hadn't really flown since a career-ending injury had put an abrupt end to his Quidditch fame two years ago, for another. His ridiculous, teenage crush on Teddy Lupin, his friend and Hogwarts' newest Charms professor, perhaps most of all.

@26timesbrighter wrote An Interlude [Lavender/Victoire | Explicit | 4.9k] Victoire is supposed to be chasing a serial killer, not shagging her uncle’s dead ex-girlfriend.

@drarryruinedme7 wrote Mint & Apples [Harry/Teddy | Explicit | 4.3k] Teddy Lupin's not-quite-wolf has chosen Harry Potter as his mate, that's all. He hasn't got a crush on his best friend's father, really. He also definitely isn't obsessed with Harry Potter's scent.

crazyparakiss wrote This is Love [Albus Severus/Scorpius | Explicit | 24.8k] Most of Albus’s bad life decisions can be summed up in a word: James. When he got a shitty tattoo in the Fifth Year—done by some bloke in a dirty flat—well, that was James’s idea. When he got picked up by Aurors for doing hallucinogens—James was the one who’d convinced him to do them at a party. That time they stole the flying motorbike Dad gave to Teddy—James was the one who insisted it was a rite of passage to drive it over London at dawn. Neither Dad nor Teddy was impressed with that explanation. Now, here Albus is living another bad choice that was born of James’s influence.

@gaeilgerua wrote The Balance Between Studying and Relaxing [Rose/Teddy | Explicit | 3.7k] Rose has been studying non-stop for her upcoming barrister exam. With Hermione attending Hugo’s Quidditch trials for moral support and Ron away on business, there’s only one person available to keep an eye on her. And Teddy is only too happy to take the role.

@r00wscribbles wrote The last ones to know [Albus Severus/Scorpius | General | 5.2k] Albus and Scorpius have a very close relationship. Everyone can see it. Perhaps they are the last ones to know jus how close they are.

@ohdrarry wrote You've Got A Second Chance (You Could Go Home) [James Sirius/Teddy | Teen | 16k] “What about James?” James, dear Merlin, not James, not again. His boy, his son, the brightest star in the constellation of Harry’s patchwork family, not him. “I think he’s relapsed.” – They tried this when James was nineteen and Teddy was twenty five. It crashed and burned. Teddy ran away to Finland and James... well Teddy's about to find out what happened to James, now that he's back two years later.

@maraudersaffair wrote Falling for You [James Sirius/Scorpius | General | 1.2k] Scorpius didn't care about Quidditch until he saw James Sirius on a broom.

@diligent-thunder wrote Heart-Shaped Ottoman [Draco/Teddy | Explicit | 6.3k] Draco has had interns before, but none so bothersome as Teddy Lupin.

@whenshereads wrote Living With Our Eyes Half Open [James Sirius & Scorpius | Teen | 5.5k] James didn’t mean to get his brother-in-law kidnapped alongside him that morning, but that is definitely what happened.

@shiftylinguini and @gracerene09 wrote Faim [Albus Severus/Scorpius | Explicit | 9.6k]  "So, this is the city of love!" Scorpius declared, adjusting the straps on his backpack. Albus wrinkled his nose. "City of pigeons, more like," he corrected, stepping around another fat, grey bird Or: Scorbus go to France.

@articcat621 wrote Unexpected [Lily Luna/Pansy | Explicit | 1.2k] Draco and Harry's engagement party brings about an unexpected, but not unwelcome, event.

@fidgetyweirdo wrote Remember to Forget [Albus Severus/James Sirius | Mature| 17.5k] The moment they kissed, James and Albus knew that they'd never be able to live without this -- too in love to walk away. Years later, and well into adulthood, the possible repercussions of their relationship feel very real and very scary. Without the strength to break it off, they're left with a single solution: a company that specializes in erasing and altering memories. Now the only thing left to do, is to say goodbye.

[sou-ver-2-0]

What do you think of the Push Fake Reko(Save Reko) or Spare her(Save Alice) choice as it relates to the themes of logic vs. emotion? My one friend views Reko as the more emotion leaning one since thats the only why she and Alice can potentially make up. But I think it's more logical since to do that you push Fake!Reko to her death because she's obly a doll, even though she's begging for her life.

Why pushing Fake Reko is logical and sparing her is emotional

This is a fantastic question. I was thinking about it for days after you sent it in, going back and forth. The "push or spare Fake Reko" choice feels a bit messier than other logic/emotion choices, such as "kill Kai (logic) or kill Sou (emotion)" in the First Main Game, or "kill Kanna (logic) or kill Sou (emotion)" in the Second Main Game. That's partially because, as you mentioned, this choice ends up determining the fates of the real Yabusame siblings rather than Fake Reko and Gin, whose fates are sealed. Unlike other choices, Sara can't anticipate the consequences. This makes it tricky to analyze in hindsight, since we're influenced by the unexpected outcomes. That's what your friend was doing by looking at the emotional results of pushing Fake Reko. I sympathize with your friend because I also want to analyze the complete story, but I still think it's most important to analyze Sara's mindset in the moment of the choice itself. That's why I argued that killing Kanna was logical for Sara, even though a genre-savvy player might logically assume that killing a child could lead to a bad ending. We need to be able to set aside our greater knowledge as players, and put ourselves in Sara's shoes.

Another reason this choice feels different from other choices in YTTD is because it has almost nothing to do with Sara's self-preservation. Instead, this choice is based on a more philosophical question: how do we measure the humanity of a robot doll? And there's another question baked into this choice as well: are we willing to become a murderer to save a human child? Can we rationally justify this murder?

I recently played through this choice, and after reviewing the narrative, I came to the same conclusion as you did: I think it's logical to push Fake Reko, and emotional to spare her. 

Fake Reko makes an emotional appeal to save her life. She says that she has suffered. She says that she considered Sara a real friend. She sings a beautiful song full of emotion. Even though Sara can logically trap Fake Reko by pointing out that the real Reko wouldn't have sung that song, that only proves that Real Reko and Fake Reko are different people. It's much more difficult to prove that Fake Reko doesn't have a right to live, because Fake Reko's robotic heart still feels real. Even if we rationalize that she's "only a doll," my heart still wants to save Fake Reko.

When Fake Reko sings, the game's dialogue reinforces that Sara is being swayed emotionally to save Fake Reko. Sara's heart connects with Fake Reko's song, even as her mind reels to prove that she's different from Real Reko.

(I've never heard a song from Reko's band, so I can't compare her singing with the real deal...)

(Even so... Could a doll perform vocals so full of emotion...?!)

However, what fully sold me on my interpretation of this choice was hearing from Mr. Emotion and Mr. Logic themselves. This is how Sou and Keiji react to Fake Reko's emotional defense of her own life.

Sou: ...Doesn't feel good. Why is she able to cry, too...? She's basically a human at this point.

Keiji: Is this...part of the emotion program, too?

Notice that Sou talks about his feelings. He says out loud that killing Fake Reko "doesn't feel good." He connects with Fake Reko's ability to cry, and he ends by affirming her humanity. Sou's sprite is also clearly distressed.

Meanwhile, Keiji asks a logical question that would affirm Fake Reko's robotic nature. Yes, she may feel like a human, but we can still rationalize that she's not. Even though Keiji looks bothered, his expression is more muted than Sou's. 

We also have Kanna's emotional outburst.

Kanna: Awful... Awful! Isn't this just too cruel...? If she has a heart... and feelings... then she's no different from a human!!

Kanna is an emotional character like Sou. I believe that Kanna is the character most like young Shin Tsukimi. The meaning of Kanna's words is the same as Sou's words, but expressed more strongly. Additionally, Kanna's expression is even more despairing than Sou's face, with tears streaming down her face.

When I pictured Kanna, Sou, and Keiji in Sara's place, it became clear to me that sparing Fake Reko was emotional while pushing her was logical. 

If Kanna was there, I don't think she could do it. Killing Fake Reko would be too heavy a burden on her young heart. She knows it's wrong and her heart screams at the injustice. All Kanna can do is offer up her own life in the event that Gin is about to be executed. She asks Ranger to take her instead. That's extremely brave of her, but ultimately ineffective since it's against the rules.

If Sou was there, I think he could do it, but he would hesitate for a long time, and he would probably cry. Sou is capable of making difficult choices and doing what needs to be done, but he would still connect emotionally with Fake Reko. Sou and Fake Reko actually parallel each other as "the harsh part of yourself who would kill the kind part of yourself to survive." When Nao calls out Fake Reko's threats against her and Sara as a bluff--Nao states that Fake Reko couldn't kill anyone she considers a friend--I believe that statement applies to Sou as well. Both Sou and Fake Reko are less tough than they appear; they'd rather kill themselves than someone they love. (Sou metaphorically kills himself and Fake Reko literally kills her other self, but Sou won't hurt Kanna, and Fake Reko won't hurt Nao or Sara.) Killing Fake Reko would be difficult for Sou, but I think he would still make the same hard choices as Nao. Especially if he was motivated to preserve Kanna's innocence, much like Nao was motivated to preserve Sara's innocence.

If Keiji was there, I think he would bury his guilt and he wouldn't hesitate for long. Keiji is the most jaded character with a heavily burdened heart. He's already killed his childhood hero and his ex-coworker, so shouldn't killing a robot woman be easier to justify than either of those? Keiji is the best at rationalizing and prioritizing the greater good. In this case, the greater good means killing a robot doll to save a human child. I also think that Keiji is a responsible, brave sort who would prefer to take on this burden himself, rather than let somebody more innocent suffer through this choice. I imagine such logical thoughts would spur on Keiji to be the quickest to push Fake Reko to her death.

That's why I believe pushing Fake Reko is logical while sparing her is emotional. You need to be able to set aside your feelings in order to kill Fake Reko. You need to be able to rationalize and think of the greater good. Emotional characters would struggle more with this choice because our hearts insist that Fake Reko deserves to live, even if she's different. Recognizing our common humanity with "different" people, especially vulnerable people, is a good moral instinct. She still feels "basically a human." Can we ignore that injustice in order to rescue Gin?

I'll share a few final thoughts about this choice.

Another tragedy at the heart of this puzzle is that it was designed by a doll, Rio Ranger. Rio Ranger is a doll with an inferiority complex who feels jealous of humans. His own solution to this puzzle--the humans have to kill a doll to save one of their own--feels like a way of justifying his own hatred of humans. Obviously the nicest solution to this puzzle would be if we could convince Rio Ranger that we recognize dolls' humanity, but Rio Ranger is an unfinished doll who can't feel compassion, so we can't reach him.

Finally, I want to discuss the cathartic reunion scene between Real Reko and Alice in the event that Alice dies. Since the only way to get a cathartic scene after the Sou-Kanna choice is to choose "emotion," I understand why your friend would think that pushing Reko must be the emotional choice. However, I think the parallel between these cathartic scenes is more complex than simply choosing logic or emotion. Both cathartic scenes reward you for two things:

Sara chooses to save a child, the most vulnerable among us. Either Gin or Kanna.

Sara helps a guilty man along the path of redemption. In the first case, she must help Alice try to reconcile with Reko in his bongos sidequest, which is the only way to trigger the bittersweet reunion scene. In the second case, she helps Shin save a little girl and become himself again.

Protecting the most vulnerable and giving the guilty a second chance are what really matter here. Even though pushing Fake Reko is logical and killing Shin/Sou is emotional, Sara is still making the same kind of moral decisions.

Thank you for the stellar question, Anon.

[o-neillwith2ls]

And neither should you

Prompt number: 22

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Rating: G

Warning: None

“Jack!” Sara smiled as her ex-husband approached her and her now husband. They stood up to greet him. Sara leaned over the table for a moment while they embraced for a second.

“Sara.” He softly as they parted. “Oscar.” Jack smiled, as they shook hands. “How are you doing?” Jack asked. 

“I’m good, Jack.” He smiled. Theirs was an unusual relationship, Oscar acknowledged, with the current husband getting along with the wife’s ex-husband. He knew the divorce hadn’t been because of the lack of love in the relationship. Lack of communication, maybe, and a heart-breaking life-changing event which changed his now wife and her ex-husband for the rest of their lives and shattered their marriage. Now, their relationship was one of friends who were once lovers, sharing a tragic moment, but somehow now the relationship gave them both peace. To be honest, Oscar liked Jack; he was funny. 

“How’s the little one?” Jack asked. “Jessica?”

“She’s great.” Sara smiled, as they sat down. “Five years old and sassy as hell!” She told him.

“Five!” Jack smiled, shaking his head. “Is she a princessy kinda gal?” he asked.

“More like ‘code name: kids next door’ kind of gal.” Oscar smiled.

Jack looked confused before Sara explained “It's a cartoon where kids challenge the adults to get what they want to do.” She smiled at the television programming that kids were watching nowadays.

“Anarchy.” Jack smiled. “Sounds like my kind of gal!” he chuckled. 

“You should drop by and see her again.” Oscar offered. “You haven’t been to the house since she was a baby.” 

Jack nodded, more out of politeness. He could stand Oscar, most the time, but honestly walking into their house, seeing the life they built together, had always twisted at his stomach in the wrong way. 

He was happy for Sara. Honestly, he was, but it only served to remind him what he had lost. Hence why he preferred to meet on neutral ground, like a bowling alley. But now, he knew that discomfort was in his distant past.

"How are you, Jack?” Sara asked him, knowing how hard that line of conversation must be for him.

Jack broke into a wide smile which was unexpected by the other two. “Pretty damn fantastic.” He nodded. “I have to introduce you to someone.” He told them. Jack turned and scanned the room. This made Sara and Oscar look at each other confused for a moment before they saw Jack’s hand beckoning over someone. They both stood up in curiosity.

They could see someone approaching their table. And Sara’s mouth almost dropped at the beauty in blue walking towards them. The first thing Sara noticed were her eyes. 

Big blue and round and full of anticipation, she looked first at Sara and her husband before she looked to Jack where they relaxed a little upon landing on him. Even so, she still nervously approached. As she neared Jack, she flashed Jack a dazzling smile which he returned. Her blond hair was almost a short bob in style, but very choppy in style. She reminded Sara of a pixie, somehow with her cute nose, slim build, and youthful looks.

‘In fact, very youthful,’ Sarah thought to herself. For a fleeting moment, she felt jealous, but that moment passed quickly. Their lives had moved on and there was no attraction from the other party.

“Sara, Oscar.” Jack smiled, putting his arm around the woman proudly, something which made Sara’s eyes almost pop out of her head. Jack never liked to display affection in public before. “I’d like you to meet my wife, Sam.”

Sara looked between the two, almost in awe herself at the sight! He’d said her name with such reverence and the looks he was giving her! He looked at her with genuine smile on his face, as if she was the only one in the room, his lips kissing her briefly first on the lips then when they moved back slightly, he stole a quick kiss on her neck before smiling even wider. The look he gave her! Sara forgot that look, the one where Jack utterly adored someone, but then there was something more to the look they gave each other.

“Hi.” Sam managed, obviously nervous of the situation, turning her attention to Sara, her eyes twinkling as she gave her wide smile.

Oscar managed to break the silence first. “Wife! Oh, wow, Jack!” He exclaimed, reaching over to shake his hand. “Congratulations!” he said.

“Thanks.” Jack smiled happily. It was only then Sara saw the golden band around Jack’s fourth finger on his left hand. Had that been there all along? “Sara?” he asked her nervously, conscious of her silent reaction.

“Married?” Sara whispered, shocked. She wasn’t expecting him to move on.

“Yeah.” Jack confirmed, his heart racing inside wondering how Sara was going to react. Would it be different when she told Jack about marrying Oscar? Never in the eight years since they divorced had he even hinted at remarriage – no mention of dating either -- and now he was springing this on her. He hoped Sara wasn’t mad at him for not saying anything about Sam, but they did not make a conscious effort to call each other to share life stories. “It… kind of happened really fast.” He admitted.

Sara looked at Sam again almost inspecting her features. Sara could tell that Sam looked nervous, but there was something familiar about her. 

“Have we met?” Sara asked her.

“Um, well, technically yes.” Sam managed.

“Sam was on my team seven and a half years ago when...”

“Oh!” Sarah exclaimed, knowing she couldn’t let Jack finish his sentence. Oscar didn’t know what had happened a matter of months before they met. 

“Yeah.” Jack confirmed.

“Hold on. She’s your second, right?” Sara asked.

“Yeah.” Jack confirmed.

“I thought there was a rule to...” Sara started.

“No, no.” Jack shook his head. “No, um, there were changes. She’s not in my chain of command anymore.” He confirmed.

“Oh.” Sara said, surprised. 

“Here, Jack,” Oscar said to him, trying to take away some tension from the group. “Come and help me get the drinks for the ladies.” He said, Jack nodded in acknowledgement before Oscar asked Sara, “Red Wine?” to which she nodded.

“Beer?” Jack nuzzled into Sam, remembering that Sara had loved a red wine to wind down with. It was always the most elitist wine too, very high society stuff which he used to tease her about before he’d settle with his beer. Oh yes, Sam was definitely on his level with alcohol.

“Several.” Sam nodded in jest. Jack smiled as he nodded and whispered something in her ear which seemed to relax the younger woman. When Oscar had rounded the table towards the bar. Jack let his hand drop from the back of Sam’s waist and approached the bar with Oscar.

“You got married fast.” Sara nodded, gesturing for Sam to take a seat while the men were getting drinks.

“Frat rules don’t apply when the General is based at The Pentagon and he’s out of your chain of command.” Sam answered as she sat down.

“General?” Sara asked, surprised.

Sam smiled. “Two stars.”

“Wow!” she gasped. “I didn’t know.”

“I can only imagine what you must think.” Sam said, biting back her worry. “We fell in love somewhere in those eight years I was under his command.” She admitted softly. “Don’t ask me when because I don’t know when it was, whether it was simultaneously with each other or if one of us fell for the other first, but it happened.” Sam sighed. “We never acted on those feelings, ever, in those years,” Sam stopped in thought. “Maybe we were a little close for a CO and a 2IC but admitting how we felt was impossible.” She shrugged. “There were glimmers, moments, really when the emotions were so high, when we really thought we could lose the other...” She shrugged. “The most we could have was a wanting look and a forbidden hug.”

Sara felt awful all of a sudden. Sam might be a bit young for Jack, but she could see right there in that moment that Sam’s feelings for her ex were deep and genuine. She was honestly happy that Jack had moved on. But a part of her was jealous that her place in his life was gone. 

“But once we got together, we didn’t want to let go of this.” Sam said quietly, “And work would have got in the way all over again.” She said sadly. “We didn’t want this to end.” Sam admitted. “Ever.” She added softly on the end.

Sara swallowed at the women’s admission. She was clearly besotted. “You don’t know everything about him.” She warned her cautiously.

“Yes, I do.” The younger woman said confidently. 

“Maybe about now, but not his classified work in the past.” Sara said, “He can’t share it with anyone. Not even with me. It was always a secret.”

“He didn’t – share it I mean,” Sam told her, “but I know.” 

Sara looked shocked, surprised at the younger woman’s confidence. “Everything?” she questioned. “I thought even seconds didn’t know everything about their CO’s.” 

“Most don’t,” Sam admitted, “but I’ve read his classified file.”

“How?” Sara asked shocked.

“I know how not to get caught.” Sam admitted but didn’t reveal how she knew. “Jack knows I know. I couldn’t keep that from him.”

Sara nodded. “So, he can tell you everything.” She said sadly. 

Sam bit her lip. “But he knows he doesn’t need to.” She added. “I can know what happened without him breaking any rules or feeling as though he can’t tell me because of the classified status.”

Sara looked sad. “So you know everything. I mean he can share anything with you?” When Sam nodded, Sara suddenly reached out and put her hand was on top of Sam’s. Sam looked shocked at their hands. “You’ll take care of him, won’t you?” she asked Sam.

Sam smiled, knowing it was coming from the part of Sara’s heart which belonged to Jack. “Always.” 

“Good.” Sara smiled, not knowing the full extent to the word ‘always’ between her ex and Sam. “So, you’re still military?” 

“Yes.” Sam smiled, finally a conversation she was comfortable with. 

“You were a captain the last time we met, yes?” Sara asked.

“Yeah, it was a little while ago.” Sam chuckled and nodded.

“Been promoted?” she asked.

“A couple of times.” Sam answered. “Lieutenant Colonel.”

“Wow!” Sara said, impressed. “Bit young, aren’t you?” she questioned, trying to see just how much younger Sam was to her husband.

Sam chuckled. “Nice way of finding out how much younger I am to Jack.” Sam acknowledged without malice. “I was born in sixty-eight.” 

“Fifteen years!” Sara exclaimed, surprised. “Wow!” 

“And, um, as for my promotions… well, this last one was down to him. You’ll have to ask him why.” Sam shrugged. “It was his first order of business when he was promoted to Brigadier.” 

Sara nodded before she decided to ask Jack more later, “So, Lieutenant Colonel means you have at least a master's degree?” Sara asked her.

Sam smiled “PhD in theoretical physics.”

“Oh, so you’re a scientist on his team?”

“Oh no, she’s a kick ass officer to boot, too.” Jack said, coming back to the table and passing his wife a beer which she gratefully took, his arm dropping down on to her shoulder as he stood next to her.

“No?” Oscar asked, returning clearly more comfortable than before. “You look to...” the man paused seeing three pairs of eyes homed in on the almost sexist remark. “I mean....” Oscar continued before he paused and turned back completely. “You know what I’m not going to finish that sentence.” He said, shaking his head when both Sam and Jack’s serious faces turned to grins. 

“I don’t look the type to be kick ass?” Sam asked, her best challenging authority voice on. 

“She can take on and beat about 95% of the men in the SGC, that’s at least 50 men.” Jack admitted proudly, “Both in battle and on the mats.” He grinned.

Even Sara looked surprised at this. “But you’re tiny!” 

“Yes, but she’d be mighty!” Jack said, still looking at his wife. Sara realized that Jack was as besotted as Sam. He had barely taken his eyes off Sam from when she entered the room, Sara was in the happy position of seeing the bar from where she was standing, peering over Sam’s shoulder she’d seen the smouldering looks Jack had been giving Sam from a distance.

“Well, I learned from the best.” Sam smiled.

Sara knew enough to read into that. Jack had trained her. 

“You any good at pool?” Oscar asked Sam.

“Yousurebettcha.” Sam replied, the phrase not unfamiliar to Sara, his vocabulary had entered hers already... no, not already they’d known each other a long time, it had probably subconsciously entered into her vocabulary a long time ago.

“Game?” he asked her, to which Sam nodded. Both Oscar and Sam moved towards the pool table.

“She’s going to whoop his ass?” Sara asked Jack, gesturing that he sits down.

“Yousurebettcha.” He reflected Sam’s words with a smile, as he took a seat at the table where he can still watch the pool game.

Sara smiled pensively. “You’re happy.” She observed.

He nodded. “I thought when we split up and we lost Charlie, that was it, my chance of happiness gone.” 

“You deserve happiness.” Sara smiled. “When I left you...” she said slowly, “I thought I couldn’t help you find it anymore.” She sighed heavily. “It hurt.”

“I was drowning, Sara.” He said quietly. “That program… it saved me.” He confessed. “Not just her, but she’s a big part of it.” With the words out of his mouth, they could hear Sam had started the game pocketing two balls in the action. Sara and Jack chuckled before Jack commented, “Ouch!” as he saw Oscar’s face fall. 

Sara laughed. “She’s good.”

“It’s a game of physics.” Jack smiled happily. “She could tell you the whole theory behind it. She loves real life games of physics.” 

“She says she’s an physicist?” Sara asked him.

“Yeah. An astrophysicist.” He said, his eyes not leaving Sam, watching her again easily pot another ball. 

“Smart.” Sara said.

“Yup.” Jack said a smile Sara knew was his ‘I’m turned on but don’t want anyone to know’ smile.

“Young.” Sara commented, before Jack tore his eyes from his wife now looking at Sara.

“It doesn’t bother her.” Jack said to her.

“It bothers you?” Sara asked.

“I wonder what the hell she’s doing with a loser like me.” He admitted with a huge sigh something which made Sara look to him concerned. “Look at her, Sara, she’s stunning.”

Sara’s smile returned. “I noticed.”

“I learned very recently the effects of what would happen if I let Sam go.” He said, shaking his head. Sara looked confused as he told her. “She was engaged to someone else. We’d had unspoken feelings for so long, she finally thought she needed to let them go.” He told her softly. “I saw her fall for another man. I became angry, agitated. I withdrew inside myself; I didn’t want to carry on.”

 “I know that man.” Sara argued. “But I’ve seen you during the past two years or so and you never let that man show. You hid it so well that I had no idea.”

“No one knew. Some people knew I was hurting but they didn’t draw attention to it.” He told her. “I just carried on like a good Colonel--” He took a drag of his beer.

“General.” She called him out a smile on her face.

“What?” he asked innocently.

“You can’t play that card with me Jack--” she said rolling her eyes “Two star General. Jack why did you not tell me?”

“It’s no big deal.” He shrugged.

“Its a huge deal and I’m proud of you.” she smiled “I bet those stars look good.”

 Jack nodded and turned the conversation back “She called off her engagement after her father died. It wasn’t because he had died. She had figured out it just wasn’t going to work with the guy.”

“You hated him.” Sara observed.

“Of course, I did. He took away Sam.” Jack stated before chuckling. “I did try to hide it from her, pretended like I was okay with it all.” He took a deep breath in. “I thought the same as you. She was young. She deserves someone who could give her stability, support, love, children. At the time, I was in love with her but still her commanding officer. We couldn’t… I wouldn’t take it further.”

“It killed you.” Sara nodded.

“I know what you must think. What people must think. Me? I can’t believe how lucky I am.” He smiled as Sam pocketed another ball.

“How long have you loved her?” Sara asked him.

He shrugged. “Dunno.” He admitted. “I can’t remember...” He bit his lip and looked down quietly.

Sara smiled. “That’s what she said.” 

“I can give her all that I am.” He said quietly.

Sara smiled sadly. A silence fell at the table, but she finally spoke. “I think about us, sometimes. We had a lot of good times, but it still hurts to think about them."

"Yeah."

"The good times see me though, but the bad hurts-- So I remember the good--remember I deserve to be happy and I try not to dwell there, in the dark and the pain--" She paused and looked him in the eyes. "And neither should you." She looked over at Sam at the pool table and then back to Jack. "Besides I'm one person who knows what it’s like to be married to Jack O’Neill. She is a very lucky woman."

Jack smiled and reached round and gave her a hug. "I love you, Sara." He whispered. 

"I love you too, Jack. Congratulations."

Jack knew that their love for each other was now platonic, whose place was in the past with no place in the future. And they were content to leave it there.

“So I can give her some hints and tips about being your wife--” Sara said with a cheeky smile.

“Um---She’s doing a great--” Jack said confused.

“Oh I think I could tell her a thing or two.” Sarah grinned “about beer, a pink plastic flamingo and a telegraph pole.”

“Sara no!” he said clearly irked. “You wouldn’t--” she walked away towards the pool table “Sara--”

He smiled getting up, he knew his present and future laid with Sam. And there was nowhere else he rather be.

[mothmanhamlet]

Backstage

Analogical/minor Royality. 3254. Band au. No warnings, minus like 1 curse word (If I’m wrong, let me know).

Roman drags Logan to a concert, and a guitarist catches Logan’s eye.

Logan knew where he was going when he saw the two tickets taped to a poster on the counter. Logan understood what was about to transpire when his all-too-extra roommate Roman Prince explained incessantly about the singer he had met two months prior. But it was not until he was painted with eyeliner, dragged out the door, and sat down in a creaky wooden chair that he really understood what an ordeal it would be. His roommate had dragged him to some anthology style concert in a run down theatre 30 minutes from their university. Not because he was a lover of up-and-coming indie bands, but because of someone who was participating.

Despite the impracticality of it all, it actually looked rather lovely. Only the first ten rows or so were filled, but they were tightly packed with people. The lights were soft and slowly switching from blue to red to green and back again, several posters and fairy lights adorning the wall. It looked slightly out of place in the classic theater with everything decorated as though it either belonged with a fairy or grungy 90’s teenager. An unusual combination, but oddly enough it worked.

Roman made his way into the row of chairs, coming back from whatever it was he seemed to be doing. It was probably chatting up strangers, knowing him. Roman had a talent for that, getting people to pay attention to him. It was an admirable trait until paying attention to Roman turned into paying attention to Logan, who much preferred being left alone.

“Hey, pocket protector, did ya miss me?” Roman said with a wink. He was the essence of flamboyance and flair, dressed in something just normal enough to not be a prince costume, red glitter spread across his cheekbones, eyes, and hair. Truthfully it was the least extravagant night time outfit in a while. Still, it made Logan feel underdressed, just wearing jeans, a polo shirt, and tie. Plus some poorly applied eyeliner.

“Salutations Roman. The host seems to have made an announcement about that band you wanted to see. He mentioned they were performing next,” Logan said in a near monotone voice. Roman’s eyes lit up at the mention.

“The one Patt’s in? Fantastic! You’ll love it Logan, and Patton is so amazing, he has the best voice and adds such feeling to the lyrics and-” Roman started to ramble, only to be cut of by Logan.

“You’ve already told me this many times Roman,” Logan said bluntly. Those speeches could last half an hour easily. Quickly Logan added, “And you call me the geek.”

“That was harsh, Microsoft Nerd.”

“My apologies, was that too ‘Savage’ of me?” Logan asked, producing a small vocabulary card from his pocket.

“I regret giving you those,” Roman laughed, rolling his eyes. The music grew quieter and all eyes drifted up to the stage. A tall man wearing a yellow button up shirt with a black bow tie and bowler hat strolled up to the front. He had an odd scar across the side of his face that resembled snakeskin.

“Thank you Dragon-Witch for your… Intriguing performance. Next up is,” The man gave the backstage a side-eye before scoffing and rolling his eyes, “The Insomniacs.”

The room blacked out for a moment, leaving thuds and light footsteps in the darkness. When the lights came back on  the stage was occupied by three men standing center stage who looked drastically different.

The first, presumably the drummer by the sticks he was twirling like a fairy wand, was wearing dark, dark sunglasses that completely obscured his eyes, and besides the lipstick, was dressed rather plainly. The oddest thing about his outfit was the shirt he was wearing, plain white with a thick black font writing “SLEEP”. If Logan was being honest, he just looked like a tiring person.

The next was slightly shorter, with rounder features. He was wearing glasses not unlike Logan’s that were sat upon freckles that were extremely noticeable, even from where Logan was sitting. He was wearing a light blue polo with a cardigan tied over his shoulders like a cape. He looked rather cutesy, bursting at the seams with bubbly energy.

Then there was the last. The final man was dressed in dark clothing, black and a purple color that matched his hair. His clothing was slightly tattered, his hair a little messy, and wearing enough makeup to surprise even Roman. Just like the freckles on the second man, the eyeshadow he put under his eyes was probably visible from space He looked a bit like a rock star: intense, chaotic, and undeniably attractive. Objectively, of course.  This had to be Patton.

“Hi! We’re The Insomniacs,” Loud cheering cut through the man’s excited voice, which was surprising considering the few people in the room, “and we are so happy to be here tonight! As always, we’re gonna play three songs for you guys, two covers and one that we wrote ourselves.”

The man with the sunglasses casually strolled over to the drum set, where a precariously placed Starbucks was waiting for him on top of the bass. How anyone could manage to balance it, Logan would never know. The man who was presumably Patton walked intently in the other direction, swinging a guitar out from behind him, while the freckled man stayed, center stage, resting his hands around the microphone.

Wait. Roman definitively said “singer”, not guitarist. How had he not noticed the strap before? Must have been distracted by something. Maybe the lights. Maybe the background noise. Maybe the man’s face. But either way, Patton couldn’t be him, unless he was both guitarist and singer, which was unlikely. Patton had to be the cutesy man standing center stage.

Sure enough, the music started playing. First, the band played a more Rock n’ Roll version of some pop song Logan barely recognized. Everyone else loved it though. Roman was right, Patton did have a lovely voice. Logan, however felt his eyes being dragged just to the left of him, to the guitarist. He looked so confident playing, like any worry of messing up was infinitesimal. He was also extremely skilled at the guitar, so there was that too.

The next song they played was different, more upbeat. It was a little older, a little more repetitive, a little happier. It also happened to make the three men dance a little. Patton did some simple swaying movements with overly flamboyant hand gestures. Honestly, it reminded him of a dad dance mixed with Roman’s personality. Eyeshadow-Guitar-Man was just bopping his head up and down, the fakest bright grin plastered on his face. It was extremely clear that he did not seem to want to perform that particular song. Even Sunglasses was doing a little bop to the tune. People in the audience even started to dance along, lip-syncing along to the lyrics.

Finally, the song ended and the room quieted. The lights started to dim even further as ukulele started to play and a spotlight was placed on Patton. Logan looked over to see Roman had leaned forward in his seat, staring in anticipation

The song was softer and calmer than the last two, with Patton’s vocals coming through clear and melancholy. Sunglasses had almost fully transitioned to being backup vocals and Eyeshadow Guitarist had quietly set down the purple guitar and picked up a similarly colored acoustic one, a rather illogical thing to do, but the song sounded pleasant. Everyone in the room started to be a little calmer than before.

Logan looked at the guitarist and saw him tilt his head to the side and then wink right near him. After a moment, Logan realized he was looking at Roman, but for a split second, he thought he winked at him. The thought put a not unpleasant feeling in his chest.

 Wait, is this attraction? 

Logan felt a slight panic at the thought. It’s fine. It doesn’t mean anything. You’ll be fine. Logan tried to reassure himself. Sure he was pretty, but that was all that it was, right?

The song ended, the lights going out fully for a second as applause flowed freely from the crowd. When the lights quickly came back on, all three members of the band were strolling over to center stage. Patton was waving, excitedly and wildly whilst grinning ear to ear. Much to Logan’s confusion, Sunglasses was  still drinking  the cup from earlier. Perhaps he simply enjoys carrying it? 

They all carried their things offstage, at least those who had things to carry, and the announcer from earlier walked back on, no happier than before.

“Great job everyone, what a  thrilling  performance,” The man said, wearing quite possibly the most forced grin of Logan’s life. Which was impressive, considering Logan had to go to  several parties with Roman’s theatre friends. “Moving on, now it is time for our next act… Joan and The Beanies”

Just as people started to wheel off the drum set, Roman jumped up and grabbed Logan’s hand.

“Alright, pocket protector, it’s time for you to meet Patton,” Roman said, giving Logan no time to argue before starting to drag him. Weaving through several people, Roman pulled Logan to an older wooden door that was slightly obscured by a red curtain.

Roman put his hand on the doorknob, attempting to twist it before giving up and knocking. Not long after the door creaked open, leaving the two men staring at the announcer from earlier who looked, not surprisingly, annoyed. This look was amplified by his scar, which gave him a surprisingly snaky appearance.

“Oh, it’s just you,” The man said, opening the door so they could enter. It was a long hallway with a table in the center, quite a few people sat around it, with some sitting on the chairs that littered the sides.

“Hey Dee, good to see you! Any words of wisdom for your pal Roman?” Roman said, being overly dramatic as usual, something that was not well received by the announcer.

“Society is a lie, Justice is a fraud, Morality is meaningless, and I have so many better things to do than talk to you, ” he said with a flick of his wrist. The movement exposed a name tag on the side of his shirt that read “Deceit” in thick block letters. 

“Excuse me, but if you don’t mind me asking, why does your name tag say “Deceit”? Is that your name?” Logan interjected, stopping the man from leaving.

The person in question rolled his eyes, as he turned to face Logan, “No, my name is most certainly not  Deceit of all things. What I asked for was D.C. however, some people are moronic staplers paired with, and I quote,” The man, D.C. apparently, cleared his throat and lowered his voice to have the tone of a stereotypical surfer who was trying to be a hippie, “Declan is like, a really hard name, and autocorrect is like, totally a bitch.” 

With that Declan turned around and walked away, leaving Roman to search for Patton and his band. The romantic theatrics seemed like overkill to Logan, but as someone who just felt attraction a few seconds ago, maybe he shouldn’t judge. Okay, that was a little extra of him, maybe he should talk to someone other than Roman sometimes.

After a few seconds of rigorous search, Roman spotted his beloved. Running after him, Roman consumed Patton in a hug, a public display of affection no one seemed to notice or care about.  Besides their drummer, who was standing all too close, and nearly dropped his drink before returning to stare at his phone.

As the two separated, Patton looked up and directly at Logan. He smiled brightly, instant recognition flashing on his face.

“You must be Logan! Oh I’ve heard so much about you!” Patton said, motioning for him to come closer. The second he got close enough, Patton grabbed his hand to shake it.

“Patton Smith, it’s so nice to meet you,” he said, aggressively cheerful. Patton turned around and called out a name Logan didn’t recognize.

“Virgil! Get your butt over here!” he shouted, waving his hands around vigorously. The guitarist from earlier casually walked over.

“Virgil? Like the roman poet Virgil?” Logan asked, turning to the man. Up close he was taller than Logan. To be fair, they were all taller than Logan, as Logan was rather “vertically challenged” or as Roman preferred to call it, “shorter than his temper”.

“Yeah, it’s a weird name, but my parents were really into literature,” Virgil said, looking almost embarrassed at his name.

“It’s a fascinating name, Virgil, not only is your namesake a poet but he is also used in Dante’s Divine Comedy in which he…” Logan started to ramble out, stopping when he noticed the look on Roman’s face, “Maybe that’s a story for another day.”

The drummer finally looked up and noticed the two newcomers.

“Oh hey girl, what’s up?” He said, winking at Roman. He turned to Logan and eyed him up and down, “Who is this?”

“My name is Logan Gray, I’m a friend of Roman’s,” He said extending a hand. Sunglasses shook it quickly.

“Fun. I’m Remy.” Remy said with a wink. Up close, the drummer had a clear undercut and smelled like the inside of a Starbucks.

“Lovely,” Logan said, as he turned back to talk to Patton. Unfortunately, Patton was already busy talking to Roman. What they were discussing Logan may never know, however, they were extremely excited about it. As he glanced back, Remy had also left to go to some unknown place.

That left him with Virgil. The man was looking down at his shoes, a pair of slightly beat up purple converse. Logan decided to break the silence.

“What is it like playing the guitar?” Logan blurted out in a tone blunter than he had hoped for.

Virgil looked up suddenly, surprised that someone was talking to him.

“It’s nice,” he said, throwing an awkward smile in Logan’s direction, “I started playing when I was in middle school, so it’s pretty much natural at this point. Honestly, it’s really therapeutic, especially when I get worked up about something and can’t sleep, just to focus my energy into one thing.”

Logan nodded along, listening intently. “You said something about not being able to sleep, does this happen often?”

“God, you sound like my therapist,” Virgil laughed, rolling his eyes, “But yeah, I guess. Patton’s certainly better than I am about sleeping, but I’m at least not as bad as Remy.”

“So none of you sleep well?” Logan asked, one eyebrow raised, “At least that explains the name.”

“I mean yeah, we don’t have much in common, and you can’t exactly name a band “Caffeine Addicts”, according to Patt at least,”

“You all are coffee enthusiasts?”

“Rem is, but I’m more of a tea guy, and Patton’s into chocolate, if that counts. You?”

“Tea is quite enjoyable when accompanying a good book.”

“Of course. Favorite book?”

“A Study In Scarlet, or Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, yourself?”

“Sherlock, huh. Somehow that doesn’t surprise me. Frankenstein is a good choice too. I’m also into classic horror, so I guess my favorite would have to be Twilight.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that one before. I’ll have to look it up.”

Virgil blinked at Logan in disbelief. He glanced over at Roman, who was having a conversation with Patton, and back to Logan. “You live with  him, and you’ve never heard of Twilight.”

“I’m afraid not,” Logan said, “What is it about?”

“The forbidden romance between a human, a werewolf, and a sparkly vampire in the small town of Forks.”

“Oh my.” 

“Yeah, It’s something,” Virgil said with a laugh

“And this book is your favorite? Classic horror, you said,”  Logan said, clearing his throat.

“What? Oh no, sorry that was a joke,” Virgil said, looking a little bit flustered.

Logan felt a little bad about that. He knew he was too literal sometimes and he knew it made other people uncomfortable sometimes. He just… couldn’t pick up on things sometimes.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” Virgil said, almost reading his mind, “So what’s your major?”

“Astronomy, how about yourself?” Logan said, stopping himself from monologuing about it. People usually get disinterested after a sentence or two.

“I study psychology, I want to be a therapist later on. But you study  space ? That’s so cool! Tell me about it,” Virgil said, getting a little bit excited.

“Well, astronomers estimate there are around 300 billion stars in the milky way galaxy alone, each of those stars having a life of billions of years. And stars are mostly just hydrogen and helium with churning nuclear forges in its core. Also, different temperature stars have different colors, with higher temperature stars having a color of blue or white while lower temperatures are usually orange or red. And-” Logan started to ramble, before catching himself, “Sorry, I’m rattling on again, aren’t I?”

“No, I’ve just never seen someone get so excited about stars before. It’s- it’s charming, actually,” Virgil said, blushing ever so slightly.

Logan, despite himself, also started to blush. Maybe his small attractions weren’t as worthless as he thought.

“Mi amor, parting is such sweet sorrow, alas, I must bid you farewell,” Roman said extravagantly to a giggling Patton and an annoyed Declan. “Lo, come on, let’s go.”

Logan turned back to Virgil, who seemed to be searching his purple hoodie’s pocket for something. After a short struggle, he produced a small white card.

“It was, uh, really nice talking to you Logan,” Virgil said, his hands fidgeting, “Here’s my number, if you ever want to talk again. I do happen to know a bookstore that doubles as a coffee shop if you ever want to read Twilight. But if you don’t that’s also completely fine”

Virgil held out the white card, waiting until Logan reached out and grabbed it. It read  The Insomniacs~ Virgil Sanders - Guitarist followed by a phone number, email, and Instagram.

“Yes, that would be extremely enjoyable,” Logan said in a manner that was better put together than he felt at the moment.

“Let’s go pocket protector,” Roman said impatiently, tapping on his non-existent watch.

Logan waved goodbye to Virgil, Remy, Patton, and even Declan. Walking back down the hall and out the door into the main area, Roman strolled next to him and leaned down.

“So, do you think he likes me?” Roman asked in an almost childish manner. Logan couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“Roman, I can attest that even  I  saw that he had romantic intentions towards you,” Logan said, looking directly at Roman, eyebrows arched in disbelief. This time, it was Roman’s turn to laugh.

The two meandered out the door and over to where Roman’s slightly beat up, but still somehow bright red, car was parked. As they both got in, Roman turned to Logan again.

“Thank you for coming with me, by the way. And I’m glad you got along with Panic-At-The-Everywhere,” Roman said, surprisingly sincerely.

“It was no problem, Roman, no need to worry about it,” Logan replied, remembering the little card he was holding on to.

So Logan may have been a little apprehensive about the event at first, however it did let Logan meet a few people, including someone interesting who thought Logan was interesting as well. Someone who wanted to talk to him again.

Maybe Roman’s theatrics weren’t so bad after all.

[less-than-hash]

A Lot to Process

I haven’t been making games lately, but that doesn’t mean I’ve not been writing. I took off at the beginning of the year to work on my prose fiction, finished drafting a novel provisionally titled These Subtle Games back in March, and finished revising it and began querying it last month. It’s a contemporary occult fantasy set in Boston, following a nonbinary game developer investigating the untimely and mysterious demise of her mentor, only to find herself drawn into a morass of conspiratorial cabals, mystical mobsters, and misogynist massholes - not to mention a sprawling hidden ARG that may or may not contain the secrets of New England cunning magic.

It’s basically autobiography.

In the meantime, I’ve begun writing a new novel, an industrial fantasy set in a world of sprawling empires both challenged and propped up by powerful mercantile houses and an aggressively expansionist church ruled by wizards. I found that the process I stumbled through in developing and writing These Subtle Games - a process that, despite the differences in media, grew out of my experience creating games - worked really well for me, so I’ve been following a more refined version for the new novel with similarly positive results. Furthermore, I’ve already begun applying it to a potential sequel to TSG. With Novelember coming up, I figured I’d share a little of that process with you.

The goals of my writing process are twofold: 

To apply some level of organization to my work, lest it follow in the footsteps of my first novel, which was basically “write until you’re done writing, and now you’ve got 141,000 words of experimental weirdness.”

To allow a lot of flexibility, preventing said organization from stifling my creativity. 

Details below the cut.

PRE-PRODUCTION, aka Background, Research, and Planning

I spend a lot of time with the concept for a novel (or a conversation in a game) before I begin writing anything that’ll make it into even the rough draft. Note that I didn’t use the “before I put pen to paper” metaphor here, because I do a lot of writing at this stage. Much of this is simple note-taking, whether on research or on ideas. I do a fair amount of this in an actual notebook, often because I’m off somewhere away from my computer.

Because this phase generally overlaps with the late phases of a previous project, and when I’m actually at my computer I’m generally working on the older piece. I was in this phase for Hidden Sanctum while recording VO for Seeker, Slayer, Survivor, for example, and for These Subtle Games while wrapping up my work on the Deadfire expansions.

I like to overlap projects like this for a few reasons:

It allows me to move smoothly from active work on one project to the next.

It engages a different part of my mind than drafting prose, keeping me fresh.

Because I spend a lot of time exploring an idea, it helps me determine whether or not I think the idea’s strong enough to sustain me through a project.

Things I do while planning:

Read extensively. I read work in the same vein or genre as the work I’m intending to write. In preparation for Deadfire, for example, I read The Gentleman Bastards books by Scott Lynch, Uprooted by Naomi Novik, and Kings of the Wyld by Nicholas Eames. Prior to starting work on These Subtle Games I read  Procession of the Dead by Darren Shan, War in Heaven by Charles Williams, Hardboiled Wonderland and the End of the World by Haruki Murakami, Our Lady of Darkness by Fritz Lieber, Conversion by Katherine Howe, the Atlanta Burns books by Chuck Wendig,  A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness, and Himself by Jess Kidd, among others. Before beginning the current novel, I read Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo, The Incorruptibles by John Horner Jacobs, Prince of Thieves by Chuck Hogan, and Perdido Street Station by China Miéville, among other works. These are books I read specifically because I planned to do work in similar spaces. I approach these books analytically to get a sense of what’s been done before, as well as what might and might not work from a structural or stylistic standpoint. What I want to do and what I want to avoid.  Nor do I limit myself to books. As part of my pre-production for my current project I watched Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Les Miserable, L’Empereur de Paris, The Age of Innocence, and Carnival Row, as well as replaying parts of the Dishonored games. I also made myself a music playlist, the heart of which is Postmodern Jukebox’s cover of “Welcome to the Black Parade.”

Research broadly. I’m less of the school that one should write what they know than that they should know what they write. I generally write fantastic works, but without an understanding of matters related to the fantasy, the product feels hollow. This can include research into the history of sail and piracy, for example, or military technology, or fashion. For These Subtle Games I read numerous books on New England folklore and cunning folk, as well as on witch trials, both in Salem and globally. I read a lot about Harvard’s study of psychedelics, including Michael Pollan’s How to Change Your Mind. I also did a tremendous amount of deeply unpleasant research into online harassment. At this point in the process, I try to prioritize the forest for the trees (hence “broadly” above). I don’t need to know every maritime term to plot content set on a sailing vessel, I just need to know the broad strokes of how ships work, how the crew lives, and how that might impact someone living on the sea. My current project required a fair amount of exploration of subjects as diverse as industrial era mill towns, the history of the American and French revolutions, and dinosaurs. While doing this research, I keep an eye out for things I find interesting that can inform my plot. I’d never heard of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire, for example, but reading about it inspired a plot point in the current project. That said, I don’t feel like I need to be an expert at this stage on anything I hope to write about. I’m almost certainly going to discard ideas and discover new ones as I go along, and I’ll have to dig deep into things like boot styles and fishing vessels (to pick two subjects from yesterday’s writing) as I go.

Figure out what I want to say. Here I work to nail down the broadest themes I want to explore in a work. These usually arise from a combination of my research and reflecting on the things I find interesting about whatever I’m making the subject of my project. Initially These Subtle Games was titled The Quiet Game (a title already claimed by a murder mystery set in Massachusetts) because of its interest in secrets (as reflected in the secret societies of Boston, the NDAs of the games industry, and the arcana of ARGs like the Jejune Institute). The new novel examines colonialism, capitalism, and power, as well as what actions are justified when resisting an overwhelming force. The three DLC for Deadfire interrogate the relationships between the gods of Eora and their followers, the Watcher included. Defining this helps guide all of the work to come, providing a benchmark by which to judge the effectiveness of an idea, plot point, or piece of writing.

Build out the world. These Subtle Games is set in modern Boston and Deadfire in Eora, both worlds that were well-defined long before I began creating fiction set in them. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t spend time fleshing out the corners of those worlds I intended to work within. TSG required that I determine the form of a fictionalized Boston games industry, as well as the shape of the secret cultures that inform the action of the novel. For Deadfire, each piece of content, each world map event, and each DLC island is a little world of its own, with its own story that feeds back into the larger ideas of the game. (Of course, I wasn’t working in a vacuum, nor alone.)  The current project, set in a new fantasy world, required the creation of a rough geography and history, populated with peoples, nations, and faiths. I designed these not merely to have verisimilitude, but to feed into the goals of the work. In the case of the new project, that meant huge colonial powers jockeying for the dwindling unclaimed territories and their resources, vast trade companies conspiring to wrest power from the entrenched nobility, a clergy focused on enforcing the rule of the gods over every nation of the world, and several species of magically-crafted servitors provided curtailed rights when they’re afforded any freedom at all. Here, again, I prefer to take a diffuse approach. I can get by with the broad strokes, and leaving things undefined offers me more room to maneuver as I write. I personally also find it useful to gather art references at this stage. I have a folder of illustrations that suggest the mood and style of the world of the new project, for example. For These Subtle Games, I commissioned an illustration of my protagonist from the fantastic Katorius (below).

Sketch out the major characters. Generally by this point I’ve got ideas for at least a few of the characters, but before I start writing I want to have a strong sense of who each of those characters is. I generally write a few pages about the major players, their background, their attitudes, their role in the plot. This is worldbuilding, albeit with a narrowed focus, so the rules above apply: I try to keep things vague and flexible. I knew at this stage, for example, that These Subtle Games protagonist Laurie’s best work friend Meri grew up in California, and that if she lost her job, she might move back. That she was a surfer and played ska were details that came out in the writing. She also grew from being only moral support to providing occasional practical aid to Laurie, as well as coming to rely on Laurie in turn. Similarly, in the current project, the six characters the novel focuses on, something of a band of scoundrels, shifted over the course of development from their sketches. The relationship between two characters who are fugitives from the imperial government, for example, changed dramatically. Whereas they had been initially written as an inseparable pair, I found it much more interesting if they were on the outs after years of traveling and working together, adding (another) fracture in the crew’s interpersonal dynamics. I’ve talked before about how Vatnir went from being a charming con-artist to a grumpy reluctant messiah after I saw concept art for him. Similarly, I knew from my first moments with Serafen that he possesses no qualms about employing violence in the course of his work; the delineations, though, that he creates for himself regarding when violence is appropriate was something developed over the course of writing him.

Identify big tentpole moments. Here’s the first bit of actual plot work. At this point I’ve likely got ideas of notes I absolutely want to hit. I knew, for example, that I wanted Laurie, the protagonist of These Subtle Games, to discover an object late in the novel that redefines her relationship to her uncle and her understanding of his role in the mystery she’s unraveling. Inspired by the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire, I knew I wanted the crew in the new project to be party to the inadvertent destruction of a textile mill, one made all the worse for its owners having locked the workers within. In both cases, these moments speak directly to the ideas I’m exploring in the work. Once I’ve identified a few of my tentpoles, I order them in a way that makes dramatic sense to me, and that gives me not an outline, exactly, but guideposts for the narrative. As mentioned so many times above, the goal is to provide myself guidance, not to hem myself in or nail down every plot point.

Once I’m relatively comfortable with my sense of where I’m taking a work, I begin writing what I call my “plot doc.”

PRE-ALPHA, aka The Plot Doc

I don’t generally outline my work. I go from the extremely rough tentpole step mentioned above into a kind of extremely rough draft I call my plot doc. These provide the skeleton and heart of the novel onto which I can layer the muscle and flesh of actual writing. The plot doc is pretty long - the one for These Subtle Games was 49,000 words, about half the length of the finished novel. The plot doc for the current project weighs in at 31,000 words. 

Almost none of these words will end up in the actual book as-is. 

I care very little about the state of the writing at this step. Here I’m exploring the plot and the characters, drafting out how they go from tentpole to tentpole, figuring out what in the narrative works and hopefully identifying what doesn’t. I find where I’ve failed to establish needed details in my worldbuilding and further define my characters.

This step actually developed directly from my work in narrative design. Generally I (like many of the narrative designers I know) stub out a branching conversation before writing it, creating a kind of detailed outline (where everything is written with the same lack of polish as the LRs pictured in my post about interjections). This lets us establish the flow of the conversation, plot its structure without having to worry too much about details of style, and hopefully locate any holes or major bugs prior to fleshing out the file. Generally the text in stubs would be difficult to mistake for shippable writing. 

I personally find stubbing out conversations useful because I think differently during the mechanical work of structuring files than I do during the artistic work of crafting dialog and prose. I’ve found a similar division of labor incredibly useful when crafting plot. It relieves a lot of the pressure of writing, too. I don’t have to worry about both building a functional plot and writing enticing prose. Because I’m going to be the only person ever reading the plot doc.

(Unless, of course, I do something ridiculous like share pieces of it on my tumblr.)

Here’s an excerpt from the plot doc for These Subtle Games, which I’ll contrast with later versions below:

A car awaits her in Gloucester, and it brings her to Matthias’s house. It’s a sizable home, stone, and old, somewhat decrepit, even. Ivy climbs the turrets, and the copper roof has gone to streaked verdigris. He stands in the open door as she approaches, and she hugs him, grateful for the familiar, and he returns the gesture stiffly, patting her lightly on the back. He’s tall and rail thin, built much as she is, with a well-kept beard and receding hair. He feels old-fashioned to her, in a dressing gown and pajamas with warm, soft house shoes.

Hello, niece, he says.

Hello, uncle.

He offers her food, which she declines, and takes her to her room, just off the main room.

Ouch. It’s little more than stream of consciousness, just me getting the ideas out onto the page. Or 200 pages, in the case of this project.

ALPHA, aka The Rough Draft

Once I’ve completed the plot doc, I begin actually writing. I do this in a new file, referring to the plot doc for guidance as I go along. Often I do this a little inconsistently, letting myself write until I hit a lull before returning to the plot doc. That way the plot doc serves not merely a guiding role, but a motivating function.

The rough draft is the first actual composition I’m doing on the work, and much of it actually ends up in the finished version. I take significantly more time on each scene, on each sentence, trying to craft prose that breathes and dialog that feels real.

I also tend to be a bit loose and experimental at this stage. I play around, writing things that I find interesting to read. If I find myself weighing style against readability, I generally err on the side of style. I can clean shit up later.

Here’s the scene from before, taken from the rough draft:

The car Matthias hired lets Laurie off at the gate, which creaks opens on hydraulic pistons as she leaves her tip.

The driver nods towards the tree-lined darkness. “Hop back in, and I’ll run you up. Real door to door service. If you’d like.”

Having relaxed at an exponential rate with each mile she put between herself and the city, Laurie shakes her head with a faint smile. “I could use the walk.”

“You don’t think you’re fat, do you?” His gaze flits the length of her from knees to shoulders, efficiently dispelling the enchantment worked by the commuter rail ride through the dense New England night.

“What? No.”

“Because you’re a beanpole. Almost too skinny, if you ask me.”

She hadn’t. “That’s not what I meant. Just, I want to clear my head, thanks.”

He leaves her to it, and she walks up the curling drive towards the old stone Victorian. The curtained windows glow faintly from within, and warm lamps jut from the quoins. Sprawling ivy climbs the turrets, and rooftop copper has long given way to white-streaked verdigris. Matthias’s is a stately home, but aging, much like the man himself. He meets her at the door in a dressing gown over fine silk pajamas and plush slippers. Her uncle stands as long and lanky as Laurie, with high cheekbones, a higher forehead, and a well-trimmed beard.

She greets him with a hug. She keeps it gentler than she might like, given his age. He’s never appeared frail, exactly, but his features profess a wary delicateness, as if he’d been crafted of pudding cloth and porcelain.

“Niece,” he says quietly, squeezing her shoulder.

“Uncle,” she answers. It’s an old ritual, and with it Laurie’s remaining fear falls away, abandoning her to her exhaustion.

He admits her to the house, the pair padding silently across polished marble past floor-to-ceiling mirrors. Matthias’s home gives the impression of being larger on the inside than the out, a space out of time, populated by statues of stone and painted ceramic. A grand piano dominates one corner, the instrument on which Esme had performed several family recitals during Thanksgiving gatherings past. At thirteen, Laurie’d lugged her hollow-bodied electric through two airports and two more trains to her uncle’s house. After Esme played, Laurie’d produced the guitar and performed a show of her own, all barre and power chords joined to lyrics roundly condemning the evils of industrial capitalism and hypocrisy of American evangelism in terms both suggestive and explicit. The gathered family had clapped politely enough, but she later overheard her father’s sister thank him for leaving the amplifier back in Carrboro.

Esme had told Laurie she’d loved it.

“Are you hungry?” Uncle Matthias asks her as they pass the sliding double doors to the dining room and the kitchen beyond.

She shakes her head. “I’m very full of food, but thank you.”

The scene’s significantly longer now, and I’ve further defined the driver, detailed the house, and defined aspects of Laurie’s relationship to it and her family. And hey, now it’s got quotation marks! 

Once I finish the rough draft, I celebrate a bit. Hey, I wrote a fucking novel! 

But I don’t share. I know I’m not happy with the work yet. I’m sure it’s riddled with grammatical errors. It’s probably got some questionable shifts in verb tense. It likely sports an inconsistency or six. I know I can do better, so I set out to do so.

BETA, aka The First and Second Revision

Here’s where the hard work of revision begins. I read the book, taking notes on things I’d like to change, then go through carefully, making both the changes I’d noted and performing close editing. I try to polish overwritten lines and clarify confusing sentences. I look for inconsistencies, especially when moving scenes around. 

Were this a conversation in a game, this would be the point I marked it for review by a lead or solicit feedback from QA and my fellow designers. Having done a revision or two on a book, I’m feeling pretty confident in what I’ve made, so I give it to any beta readers I’ve enlisted, that they might remind me that I do, in fact, have a long-ass way to go before it’s good. 

GOLD, aka The “Finished” Product

Once I’ve got feedback from my readers (and have perhaps let the book sit for a bit to work on pre-production for an upcoming project - or just played a shit-ton of Final Fantasy XIV...), I return to the novel or conversation to polish it further. 

At this point I’m looking to flesh out details, to make sure each sentence serves a purpose. To chop off unnecessary phrases and to make sure each interaction is bringing out the characters’ personalities. 

Here’s the fourth (and currently final) revision of the scene from above:

Matthias’s hired car deposits Laurie at his gate, a break in the thick stone wall that separates the street from her uncle’s plot of dense, quiet woods. Hickories and pines obscure the sky, swaying gently on a salted breeze off of the Atlantic. As Laurie tips the driver, a pair of heavy, wrought iron hinges creak open with the low hiss of hydraulic pistons.

The man nods towards the tree-lined darkness, his gray hair half-circumscribing his bald pate. “Hop back in, and I’ll run you up. Real door to door service. If you’d like.”

Having relaxed exponentially with each mile she put between herself and the city—a charm cast by the long commuter rail ride through the dense New England night—Laurie shakes her head. “I could use the walk.”

“You don’t think you’re fat, do you?” His gaze flits the length of her, from knees to shoulders, efficiently dispelling the enchantment.

“What? No.”

“Because you’re a beanpole. Almost too skinny, if you ask me.”

“I didn’t.” Her fingernails bite her palms.

“Sure, suit yourself.” His window whispers back into place.

He pulls away, and she waits for his taillights to withdraw around the bend before walking the curled drive towards the old stone Victorian. The curtained windows glow faintly from within, and warm lamps jut from the quoins. Sprawling ivy climbs the turret, and rooftop copper has long given way to white-streaked verdigris. Matthias’s is a stately home but aging, not unlike the man himself. He meets her at the door in a dressing gown over fine silk pajamas and plush slippers. As long and lanky as his niece, Laurie’s uncle’s features add high cheekbones to a higher forehead and a well-trimmed beard.

She greets him with a gentle hug—gentler than she’d prefer, what with his age. He’s never struck her as frail, exactly, but his features profess a wary delicateness, as if he’d been crafted of pudding cloth and porcelain.

“Niece,” he says quietly, squeezing her shoulder.

“Uncle,” she answers. It’s an old ritual, and with it Laurie’s lingering fear falls away, abandoning her to her exhaustion. Her trapezius slackens beneath her uncle’s hand, her scapulae sinking as her frustration flows down her arms and through her twitching fingers. They flick the remnants away.

The pair pad silently across polished marble tiles past floor-to-ceiling mirrors. Matthias’s home gives the impression of being larger on the inside than the out, a space out of time, populated by statues of horses, deer, and dryads in stone and painted ceramic. A grand piano dominates one corner, an instrument on which Esme had performed a series of recitals following Thanksgiving dinners past. At thirteen, Laurie’d lugged her hollow-bodied electric through two airports and two more trains to her uncle’s house. After Esme played, Laurie’d produced the guitar and performed a show of her own, joining steely barre and power chords to lyrics condemning the evils of industrial capitalism and hypocrisy of American evangelism—in terms both suggestive and explicit. The family had clapped politely enough, but later she overheard her father’s sister thank him for leaving the amplifier back in Carrboro.

Esme, of course, had told Laurie she’d loved it. “Maybe my favorite song ever,” she’d said, the liar.

“Are you hungry?” Uncle Matthias asks her as they pass the sliding double doors to the dining room and the kitchen beyond.

Having stopped into a pizza joint on her way to North Station and walked out with a distended Styrofoam clamshell heavy with waffle fries drenched in cheese studded with olives, tomatoes, and jalapenos, she shakes her head. “I’m very full of food, but thank you.”

It’s not hugely different from the rough draft, but there’s a lot more detail, and the weaker phrases have been excised. Matthias no longer “admits her to the house,” for example, because it’s implied that she’s come in by the action. The details at the end about the waffle fries fill an inconsistency in the rough draft: originally Laurie’d eaten nothing that day, so why was she full here? (Deeply interesting, I know.) 

Laurie’s decision to snap back at the driver about his unasked for critique of her appearance was a result of beta reader feedback. The additional details about the decor in Matthias’s house subtly ties him to the locations of secret societies Laurie visits later in the book, details I’d not developed until the prior draft. The use of anatomical language to describe Laurie’s body reflects the character’s distance from it. She views it as something of an animate corpse she happens to inhabit rather than a core aspect of her self. Finally, Esme’s response is presented in dialog now, injecting her character into the scene and allowing the prose narration to reflect Laurie’s personality.

Nothing’s really done though. There are more hands for it to go through. Just as a game conversation undergoes changes suggested by QA, shifts in the recording booth, and may end up trimmed or entirely cut due to schedule and budget constraints or even to fix a nasty bug, a novel goes through several hands between the point where the author’s ready to query it and a publisher’s willing to put it on a shelf. But eventually you have to make the decision to be done with a piece, to mark it complete in JIRA and push it down the pipeline. 

Then you get to move on to whatever’s next. 

Cheers, <#

[callmeblake]

Kerrang Issue #1761

Magazine Release Date: February 20th, 2019

Issue Label: February 23rd, 2019

Photo Credit:  Jen Rosenstein

Illustrations: Brian Ewing

Partial Transcription (from pressreader.com) below:

Kerrang! (UK)

20 Feb 2019

words: emily carter illustrations: brian ewing

“MAKING MUSIC IS MORE FUN THESE DAYS…”

BREAKS HIS SILENCE

Since he was a kid, GERARD WAY has sought solitude in the world of graphic novels – first as a reader, and later, with the weight of the rock world on his shoulders, as a creator. But now, he explains exclusively to Kerrang!, working on the Netflix adaptation of his THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY series helped him reconnect with his love for making music, too…

Gerard Way keeps track of his personal goals using what he calls “the grown-up list”. One at a time, the 41-year-old will tick off these life objectives by means of self-care – a concept he’ll admit he hasn’t kept on top of lately.

“On the grown-up list are all these things that I have to do to start participating in life again,” he explains in a gentle, endearing New Jersey accent, dissecting a mysteriously methodical approach to his return to the public eye – though, it has to be said, still sounding very much like a big kid at heart.

For the past “two, three” years, Gerard feels as though he hasn’t been looking after himself while under the strain of his demanding career as a comic-book writer. And while his workload certainly isn’t slowing down any time soon – if anything, it’s on the increase with the reintroduction of music now, too – he is at least making his own positive changes little by little, “piece by piece”.

“Enough time goes by and you’re tired of feeling tired, and tired of feeling unhealthy, and tired of doing unhealthy things to yourself,” he admits. “I hit a point where I was like, ‘Enough’s enough. I gotta move my body and find a doctor.’ I hadn’t had a physical in I can’t remember how long. It was just time, you know?”

Undertaking this new journey, Gerard first started off by giving up smoking. He afforded himself just two weeks to ditch the cigarettes, before moving on to the next task. “You can’t do it all at once,” he explains thoughtfully. “I quit smoking before doing anything else – like change diet or going to see a doctor. I just take these things in steps. Even if I did have all the time in the world to attack the grown-up list, you have to take any major life change slowly and gradually.”

Had Gerard felt so inclined as to keep a similar grown-up list for professional targets when he first emerged as My Chemical Romance’s awe-inspiring leader in 2001, its trajectory would have accelerated significantly. Darting into the spotlight in 2004 with their astounding second record Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge, the frontman quickly became uncomfortable with the intrusive – and borderline paralysing – nature of their fame. It’s no wonder that, between 2006’s triple-platinum The Black Parade, and the festival-headlining status that came with fourth and final studio album Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys, Gerard recently labelled the group’s journey as “uncontrollable”. The band’s explosion was just as dramatic as their eventual breakup almost six years ago, and it took Gerard just over a year to then return into view. An excellent Britpop-inflected solo LP, Hesitant Alien, followed in September 2014, and even landed at spot number four in Kerrang!’s top 50 records of that year. No grown-up list – no matter how fool-proof – could accurately record or predict those kind of whirlwind peaks and troughs.

In his life as a comic-book writer, though, Gerard’s accomplishments have kept up a steadier, but no less impressive, incline. As a graduate of New York’s School of Visual Arts and a former intern at Cartoon Network, his imagination and visual creativity was harnessed long before his audio talents came to light. While his comic-book debut in 1993, On Raven’s Wings, was cancelled after just two issues, Gerard’s near 100 (and counting) writing credits have just about surpassed his contributions in music; he even ran his own imprint under the legendary DC Comics banner for two years, Young Animal. And while its status is currently listed as ‘inactive’, Gerard has emphasised that it’s “not the end” of that venture. Now, his prominence as a fullyfledged award-winning comic-book writer is a marvel (no, not that kind).

“The thing about doing comics is nobody asks you about your personal life, they don’t ask you about the drugs you used to take, they don’t ask you if you’re breaking up,” he told Kerrang! while still with My Chemical Romance in 2010, openly battling with the allure of a life buried in books. “They talk about the work. I wish people would talk about the work in music. In music, people want to know what makes you tick – in comics, people don’t care.”

Given the appeal of a more serene existence, it’s clear Gerard’s current primary occupation perfectly suits him. Just as he helped change the face of rock 15 years ago, however, he’s beginning to make similar strides in comics. Once again, he’s got the big guns knocking on his artistic doorstep.

“If anybody ever asks me for advice about being creative, it’s always just to make the things you want to see,” he shrugs, either oblivious to his skills or just strikingly modest. “Make something that doesn’t exist, that you wish existed – that you wanna read, or see, or listen to. That’s the one thing that I’ve applied to everything I’ve done: all the art I’ve made and the music I’ve made.”

Following this surprisingly simple mantra, Gerard now has a tremendous feat on his hands: his apocalyptic comic-book series, The Umbrella Academy, has snowballed into a 10-episode live-action show of the same name, and hit Netflix last Friday. By now, you’ll probably have already watched the lot. For the programme’s main brain, though, while he may have spent release day just ticking off another box on the grown-up list (“I had a physical that day with a doctor, so…”), this marks the beginning of his “participation” in life again. Gerard Way is back.

Gerard Way is obsessed with comics. Across the span of our interview with the author-turned-musicianturned-author again, he says the word “comic” no fewer than 28 times – each utterance more passionate than the last. Yet it wasn’t until 2008, while still active with My Chemical Romance, that he began to feel the effects of his written works’ potential. And not just in the field of comics, either; he was suddenly struck with the realisation that he could make this his full-time work instead. When he and illustrator Gabriel Bá – a man Gerard credits constantly and with great

“I’VE ALWAYS AIMED TO MAKE SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T EXIST, THAT I WISH EXISTED” GERARD WAY

respect when discussing the project – were awarded a prestigious Eisner Award for The Umbrella Academy’s first mini-series, it shook him to the core.

“It was scary at the time,” he mentioned in a Kerrang! cover feature at a later date, “because it was another thing that said to me, ‘Hey, you could go and do this. You won’t have a huge career, but you could make a living. There was a part of me thinking, ‘I don’t have to be a singer anymore.’”

Just days after receiving their Eisner, Gerard and Gabriel’s graphic novel was optioned by Universal Pictures. Plans for a potential movie were in development “for quite a while”, until it eventually fizzled out and came back to Umbrella Academy’s publisher, Dark Horse Comics. Then, the idea for a TV show was conceived – and Gerard was instantly sold. Not that it was ever something he’d ever considered when first penning his comics all those years prior.

“You know, I tend to be a visual thinker,” he begins. “When I was first starting out, I was told to embrace the medium of comics: just make a great comic. I think that that’s a common mistake that people make – they see a comic as a film, and they’ll just present it as a film. And there’s a lot of things you can do in comics, and it would almost short-change that. You need to embrace what a comic can do, and then you’ll make a really fantastic one. If you’re just trying to present it as a film, it doesn’t work as well, in my opinion. I still follow that advice to this day.”

Gerard loved the idea of giving his painstaking and deeply intricate world a new long-form narrative, and a way of going deeper into the story’s characters (all of whom are either a reflection of people he knows, or himself). Before taking various meetings – including with Netflix – both he and Gabriel sat down with Universal Cable Productions executive vice president of development, Dawn Olmstead, and discussed their aims.

“My goal was to give those guys the material to make a really great show,” Gerard explains. “That way, if they made a show and it’s successful, they always have material to go back to. That’s always been my goal: to tell a really good story that I have control over.”

Nine years later after its original plans fell through, it was eventually settled that Netflix would be the way to go. Joining forces with a company that had both “the highest production value” and that was also “artist-friendly” made the most sense to all involved. “We knew they would let the show be what it needed to be,” Gerard nods.

By this point, the series’ creator had slipped away from the limelight to create a 20-page blueprint for show-runner Steve Blackman. The Umbrella Academy thus far has three volumes – Apocalypse Suite, Dallas and Hotel Oblivion – but Gerard will eventually complete the story through eight graphic novels in total, many of which are still to be finished (“I have it all planned out, and I’ve just got to kind of write it now…”). In advance of the show’s development stages, though, he needed to let his new colleagues know the whole plot.

“There were talks early on about how much of my involvement there would be – if I wanted to be a co-show-runner, if I wanted to write scripts,” remembers Gerard. “And I really put the emphasis on making the source material and making the comics, so I had to let go of certain things. I weighed in on a lot of them, but ultimately it was Steve’s call to make. I liked letting go, though, because it allowed me to keep moving forward in the ways that I wanted to, which is with the comics or anything else I want to do.”

Working with Netflix became a daily job. From set pieces to wardrobe choices, both Gerard and Gabriel would give extensive notes in the 18 months it took to produce The Umbrella Academy, ensuring a happy climate was reached between their individual artistic palettes. It’s not a giant leap to compare the birth of Gerard’s latest project to My Chemical Romance’s studio swansong, Danger Days. While still in the throes of The Black Parade’s overwhelming success, the frontman had moved to LA from New Jersey in 2008 and was focused on comics – not just The Umbrella Academy, but also a bold, bright new sci-fi spectacular: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys, a story of the aftermath of a battle against a tyrannical corporation. Having written and subsequently scrapped The Black Parade’s original follow-up, the frontman was then struck with inspiration on a family retreat in the wilderness, wracking his brains with what to do next.

“I had an epiphany, I had a vision,” he told Kerrang! back in October 2010, of how this new comic informed what would become My Chem’s fourth full-length. “I was writing all these crazy lyrics and they were fearless and fucking reckless. I had this vision in my head, and everything I had been working on in the comic – the masks, the laser guns, the cars, everything – started to swirl around in my head.”

So how does the creation of a comicinspired album measure up against bringing The Umbrella Academy to life on TV?

“You know, they’re both intense and stressful in their own ways,” Gerard smiles. “But one of the things I’ve learned as I get older is that being in the studio and making music isn’t nearly as stressful – it’s a lot more fun these days. Having said that, although things are a little more high-stakes on a film set, we had a lot of fun with that, too.”

Early last year, The Umbrella Academy’s primary architects headed to Toronto to oversee the first week of filming. They were there to “answer any questions and give a little direction”. Though their focus was undeniably on creating the best comic-to-screen transition

“AS I GET OLDER, MAKING MUSIC ISN’T NEARLY AS STRESSFUL – IT’S A LOT MORE FUN THESE DAYS” GERARD WAY

“I DON’T LIKE TO DWELL ON THINGS. I LIKE TO MOVE FORWARD” GERARD WAY

possible, Gerard also remembers the weather; it was snowing, a sight he hadn’t seen since touring Hesitant Alien three and a half years prior. Once more, his two worlds briefly reacquainted themselves.

While in Canada, he and Gabriel reviewed “dailies”. “It hit a point where it was like, ‘Alright, this train is going, they know what they’re doing,’ and I could divert my attention back to the comic,” Gerard says. “Then I was able to work on it remotely – most of the work from my end was done through email or phone conversations, so I could be anywhere in the world and I was still able to watch the footage on my laptop, or whatever computer I was at.”

Once that week was over, Gerard kept a distant watchful eye over filming, which carried on until July. Elsewhere, his time was split between writing more comics, drinking copious amounts of coffee, collecting vintage T-shirts and miniature painted figures, and watching his wife of 11 years, Lindsey – bassist of Mindless Self Indulgence – feed birds and squirrels at their family home.

Rather ironically, his days weren’t spent watching a great deal of television. Even now, he’ll partake in an episode or two of a binge-worthy programme if Lindsey wants him to check it out – but he’ll never consume the lot in one go. “I think that makes my opinion on what we’re making with Umbrella Academy, in a way, even more valid,” he suggests, “because I don’t watch all this stuff. I read a lot of books.”

Most exciting of all, though, is that almost every Friday, Gerard Way began to create music again.

Around 54 minutes into The Umbrella Academy’s fifth episode, there’s a mind-bending shoot-out featuring, among others, Mary J. Blige. While the action unfolds, a familiar voice quietly hits the eardrums. ‘ Imagine me and you, I do / I think about you day and night, it’s only right…’ croons Gerard Way alongside former My Chemical Romance bandmate and guitarist extraordinaire Ray Toro, in a cover of The Turtles’ hit Happy Together – both rich in personality, but also similarly honouring the original. It’s not the first time Gerard and Ray have teamed up in such a manner: last month, they unveiled another joint effort in the form of Hazy Shade Of Winter, originally by Simon & Garfunkel, for The Umbrella Academy’s official trailer. But this is arguably Gerard’s most epic comics-meets-music crossover yet.

Steve Blackman, says Gerard, “thought it would be really nice for the fans – both for fans of my work as a musician, and my work as a comic writer. He thought it would be really cool, and I thought it would be cool, too. It would be silly to not do a song for the show! We ended up doing a couple, which was really great. And I’m sure there will be more in the future.”

The music Gerard made each week last year wasn’t just for The Umbrella Academy – it was also for himself. Possibly over-ambitiously, the musician hoped to release these new sounds once a month, though his workload soon put paid to that. He does, however, now boast “quite the collection of demos”.

“Right now it’s just a stand-alone thing,” Gerard says, “but I think at some point – maybe for a vinyl or something – it would be nice to collect all these songs, just as a body of work for something that I did. With all the work and the show coming, it has been harder to try and do a song a month. And I knew that that would kind of happen back when I first mentioned the goal of trying to do that, just because of all the extra work that was coming. But we’re still making music every week.”

Gerard has enjoyed the process of juggling his own music and songs for Netflix enormously. His recent solo tracks – Baby You’re A Haunted House, Getting Down The Germs and a touching Christmas number featuring Lydia Night of The Regrettes called Dasher – have deliberately not been “overthought”, though music for The Umbrella Academy can be a little more laborious.

“It’s a bit more work, because it’s for something cinematic,” he explains. “It’s not that it has to reach a higher level, it’s just that it’s a different level. The solo stuff is just kind of up to me, and what I want that to convey, or what nature it has. Whereas with the show, everybody has to really be blown away by it. So maybe, in a way, it’s more a little bit of what Ray [Toro] and I and the guys in My Chem used to do; we apply a little bit more of that to what we do in these cover songs for Umbrella Academy.”

Is it a strange feeling to revisit that kind of creative process?

“It makes it really fresh and exciting,” Gerard grins. “It’s actually really nice to go back and do something like you once did it, because you have more experience and wisdom and knowledge. As you get older you bring all these things the way you used to do. It’s refreshing at times – especially if you’re doing a bunch of experimental things. It’s refreshing to go back to your core, and your roots, of what you used to do, and apply your new knowledge to that.”

Gerard Way’s musical future for now, then, will remain both blissfully free and totally spontaneous – a far-cry from his MCR days. But he couldn’t be happier about it.

“I like to move forward a lot,” he enthuses. “I don’t like to dwell on things very much. I don’t usually like to revisit them, either. I like to keep moving forward and putting out new things. I like to try new things and experiment.” Gerard repeats himself once more. “I really like doing that.” K!

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY IS AVAILABLE TO WATCH NOW ON NETFLIX

[theregoesjodariel]

Supergem: Writer’s Notes, Chapters 1-10

Hey gang! It’s a long time coming, but I finally got off my ass and finished the full notes for chapters 1-10 of Supergem, my big huge SU fic. I’m just about to finally get to work on the next batch of chapters, so I figured now would be a great time to look back on what I’ve done so far and provide some hopefully interesting commentary. Read on for that stuff!

Chapters 1-5

Right off the bat, chapter 1's title is a reference to the now-famous single-page retelling of Superman's origin story from All-Star Superman #1. There, "kindly couple" was used to summarize Clark Kent's crashlanding on Earth and discovery by the Kents.

Chapter 2 features what I feel would be the natural result of trying to fire bullets at a Gem: absolutely nothing. While Gems are obviously made of hard light and have been shown to be capable of being hurt by conventional means-- see Peridot getting Wile E. Coyote'd by the corrupted Gem in Beta-- I like to imagine that bullets are simply so small and so high-velocity that they'd pass through Gem bodies harmlessly. The science is probably wrong, but let me have my Rule of Cool.

Aside from sporting the amalgamated personalities of Lapis and Peridot, the two superheroes Turquoise takes the most inspiration from are Superman and Spider-Man. She shows at least some compassion for all people, even bad guys, like Superman, and she throws plenty of quips, especially when getting it handed to her, like Spidey.

As stated in the notes, I do not have a set design in mind for Turquoise, but I DID end up canonizing elements of a couple of designs I really like within the story. She sports the unique five-pointed hairstyle and orange suspenders of ahhween's design, as well as the cool cyan color scheme and water cape of cheerkitty1410's. Those two are just fantastic.

Axinite is a Gem OC of mine, a gladiatrix who fights in arenas on Homeworld, which function as the world's equivalent of recreational sports. A lot of the lore I have for her is regurgitated in the narration.

There are, of course, a couple of lines from "Stronger Than You" in chapter 4. There's the title, plus Turquoise correcting Val that the fight is one-on-two.

When I created the character, I actually completely failed to notice Val's considerable resemblance to Jasper, both in appearance (big, bulky and orange) and personality (haughty, judgmental). Naturally, when it hit me, I wrote in a nod to it in chapter 4.

Chapter 4 sees Turquoise and Val's fight spill into a mall, the very same one from Pearls' Night Out, currently my only other multi-chapter work. Rhiannon and Diane, both OCs from there, also make cameos (Rhiannon is the employee who points Turquoise in Val's direction, Diane is the journalist who interviews her on the street).

Pearl and Jasper handle city planning like military tacticians, because, well, they are military tacticians. They're also very overdramatic about it, natch.

Amazonite is a close friend of mine's gemsona, a former Crystal Gem who retired to become a seamstress after the corrupted Gems were all cured.

A couple of things involving Jasper take inspiration from the excellent Back to Beta. Pearl acts as Jasper's parole officer of sorts, rewarding her with Pearl Points for doing a good job and Jasper has an attachment to Earth music for its ability to say what cannot be said through simple speech, just like in there. Go read Back to Beta if you haven't, it's outstanding (it's also Jaspearl-- look at me go).

In one of many instances of Jodi Doing Too Much Research Into Things That Don't Matter, I actually broke out my copy of SU: Art & Origins to study its map of Beach City to determine just how nitpicky Pearl and Jasper were being.

Why do the Nephrites want to talk to Pearl? Maybe we'll find out....

Garnet "borrowed" Andy's plane to go to Empire City. That's a step up from "finding" a phone, don't you think?

I like to imagine that Bismuth has been rooting for Lapis and Peri to get together since the moment she met them. Her gaydar is just that good.

Believe it or not, I genuinely considered having Turquoise adopt a secret identity at one point during planning. I call myself out on it through Steven in chapter 5.

I knew I just couldn't do this story without Jasper since she is, in a way, the villain (or at least a villain) in Turquoise's origin story. As an abuse survivor, showing the ramifications of her and Lapis' time as Malachite as best I could was tantamount to the main storyline.

Chapters 6-10

The foreshadowing in chapter 6's identity should make Ms. Knight's identity a no-brainer for seasoned SU fans. No one spoil it if you figure it out, though!

Ronaldo is absolutely, positively, 100%, one of the guys who doesn't shower before the convention. That's so him it hurts.

The generally meta premise of chapters 6-9 were the result of me drafting them right after I got home from my city's local big convention, which I had a wonderful time at. I did my first ever cosplay (I was Pearl!) there and managed to hold decent conversations with Zach Callison, Deedee Magno Hall, Michaela Dietz, and Estelle. The layout of DelmarvaCon is even copied from the layout of that convention center.

In one of many moments of narrative intersecting with reality, I did some sleuthing and found that Paulette was, in her very brief on-screen appearance, voiced by Deedee Magno Hall, Pearl's voice actress. As said above, I met Deedee at the con I went to. You know how everyone on and off set never stops talking about how nice she is? They're not exaggerating, she's a fantastic person. Kim Tan is fully based on her, taking her name from a couple of Hall's other roles (Kim in Miss Saigon and a bit character named Lori Tan from an episode of Third Watch) and Lapis and Peridot's encounter with her is based on my own; while she didn't usher us ahead of the line to meet her, she did take pictures of my friend and I's cosplays for free when she was supposed to be charging for them. Seriously, nicest celebrity I've ever met.

Chapter 7 has Peridot riff that she can "observe 800 moving objects and compute their direction of travel," a phrase long used to describe Prowl in the Transformers franchise. It has no character significance here, I was on a Transformers kick at the time of writing.

The uncomfortable pulling sensation mentioned in chapter 7 is called an "itch," a callback to The Itch, the oneshot serving as prelude to this fic. There, "the itch" is used to refer to the deeply unsettling feeling a Gem gets when fitted with limb enhancers-- think the feeling you have or would have felt from a dentist fitting you with those awful rubber bands to help with the braces process, it's that kind of feeling. The feeling being given off by Ronaldo's control device is similar, "adding" to a Gem when nothing need be added.

The long opening narration in chapters 8 and 9 were inspired by the writing style of comic book writer Scott Snyder, who has a tendency to start, end, or intersperse his comics with long, expositional comparative musings on seemingly simple or mundane things (seriously, count the number of times one of his Batman comics opens with narration explaining the philosophical meaning behind the rocks used to make buildings in Gotham City).

The cost of Connie's sword is, as stated in the story proper, a rough estimate borne from around half an hour of research. While there are other pink stones that could've been used, I picked pezzotaite because of its extreme rarity, just to drive home how absurdly all-out Bismuth went on it.

Give Jasper a metal-style song in Season 6, Crewniverse!

I like to think Jasper and Greg would be good friends. Think about it: you've just found out your former moral enemies were not only led by, but had close relationships with, the person you spent your whole life idolizing. Who do you talk to about it? Why not the person who knew her more intimately than anyone else?

At the end of the Turquoise and Steven segment in chapter 10, the two sit down to watch Crying Breakfast Friends' extra-length season finale, in which a number of characters get new outfits. Now what could that be referencing?

The narration of Jasper's thoughts makes reference to the exiled Hessonite, antagonist of Steven Universe: Save the Light and a criminally underrated character.

I'd like to preface this point with a content warning for abuse, as I'll be discussing that a bit here.

So, as I mentioned briefly in the 1-5 notes, I'm an abuse survivor; I broke up with my abuser, who I had been with for just about 3 months, in February of this year. An acquaintance of mine has since drafted a document exhaustively detailing all of the bad shit they did for which receipts could be found, and my abuser has reacted with avoidance, victim blaming, and a refusal to apologize. I wasn't yet aware of just how in denial of her own mistakes they were when I wrote chapter 10, so I tried to write Pearl and Jasper's conversation as how I wished the conversation my abuser had with themselves would go, in a perfect world.

To get reflective for a moment, writing that has taught me, in a way I hadn't seen before, how Steven Universe's real, heartfelt redemption arcs, as fantastically-written and just generally good as they are, don't always apply in real-world scenarios. My shitty ex is not Jasper and they never will be.

[rfsak2]

Cactus, a Love

I missed this… I hope you did too. Drop me a line and like and reblog!! Validate me! Also this is all written from Harry’s POV cause I never really did that much while writing the bulk of Cactus and we need it.

Cactus, a Love Summary: It wasn’t just Jamie who caught feelings. This kind of love takes two. The Styles Warnings: Fluff, some sexual thoughts and behavior. Intense flirting and some dirty talk. Teasing mentioning of daddy kink.

She was a stunner.

Small and delicate, with tiny hands and platinum blonde hair that fell in thick spirals past her shoulders. She pushed some of that hair off her face as she turned towards him, fingernails painted a brilliant coral and reached to set her cactus shaped mug on the table in front of her.

She stood, pausing to shake out her skirt and he caught sight of few words tattooed under her collarbone in an elegant script. His eyes drifted slightly lower and it took every bit of politeness and gentlemanly manners instilled by his mother to lift his eyes to her face and away from possible the prettiest cleavage he had ever seen.

Honestly.

Shit…. I am fucked.

She smiled, offering her hand to shake. Her free hand nervously smoothed at her pretty, white maxi dress, muscles gliding gently under the smooth tattooed skin of her forearm.

“Jamie Schwartz.”

His eyes jumped to Jeff Bhasker as his hand completely swallowed hers. Jeff grinned.

Ohh… That Jamie Schwartz.

“‘Arry Styles.” He grinned down at her admiring the blush that shaded the bridge of her nose. “Yeh look very pretty today, love.”

The blush deepened. “Uh.. thanks.”

They both sat and despite his best efforts, Harry found himself watching her every move instead of listening, eyes tracing her profile and dancing over any skin she been generous enough to leave bare.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he dug it out.

Like something you see, bro?

He glared at Jeff.

Maybe focus and stop ogling my guitarist!

He discretely flicked him off and focused on what Mitch was saying.

Shit.

**

This really wasn’t fair…

And what’s worse is he had no one to blame but himself.

Let’s go to the beach, I said… it’ll be fun, I thought.

She lifted her vest top over her head and he wanted to drown himself in the sea.

She was covered in brilliant color from the T-rex tattooed on her foot to her pretty, peach bathing suit to the sleeve that covered her left arm.

She leant over to peel her cutoff shorts down gorgeous, dimpled thighs and he tugged at his swim trunks, hoping the stiffy he was close to sporting wasn’t as obvious as it felt. He cast a look around, checking for pesky photogs who would love a picture of playboy Harry Styles and his problem.

When he turned back, she was stepping out of her shorts. She tried to shake some hair of her face and her sunglasses slipped off her nose and into the sand.

“Well… fuck.” She huffed and Mitch said something to her left, causing her to turn away from Harry.

She’s got a cute bu- Fuck!

She giggled and leant over at the waist to reclaim her sunglasses and Harry wanted to die.

Close to sporting, my fuckin’ arse… Harry groaned and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, thinking of anything and everything he could conceive to try and distract him.

When he opened them again, she had straightened and was starting to spread out her beach blanket. He watched, still thirsty as fuck if he was honest, and caught himself moving forward toward her as she lay back on her blanket.

“Help wit’ m’sunscreen, love?”

**

Harry was all but resigned to his fate at this point.

She was beautiful and had been built by some higher power to completely torment him.

It was fact at this point.

She reached behind her to undo her bra and the way she was turned half away from him, afforded him a glimpse of those lovely tits. He sighed and she turned toward him fully, blushing slightly when she caught him looking.

“Dirty boy.”

There it is.

He was glad he had already changed into a pair of soft sleep shorts. It did nothing to hide the evidence of his erection of course, but at least he didn’t have to contend with the compounding effect of knowing her eyes were bare on him.

She slipped his shirt over her head, pretty blue eyes hot on him and tugged it down over her denim shorts. Eyes still on him, damn her, she slowly unbuttoned and unzipped and then let the shorts fall to pool at her ankles.

“Ya okay, Pretty Boy?”

He swallowed thickly and nodded. “Fancy a cuddle, Monster?”

She smirked and moved to her side of the bed. He followed her down and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her back into his chest. When she chuckled and snuggled back against him, her ass naturally grinding ever so slightly against his hips (and rather obvious erection), he groaned and hid his face in her neck.

“Yer mean.”

She did it again. “I’m not mean. You chose this, you laid out the rules and decided to torture yourself by insisting on sharing a bed nearly every night. This is you, baby-boo.”

“I’m trying to leave your options open.” He huffed and shifted even closer to her. “And I like cuddling you. Sleep better.”

“I’m not complaining about the cuddling, I like cuddling with you too. You smell nice. And I appreciate that you’re trying to be sensitive about this. I just don’t get why you torture yourself.”

He shrugged, chin still on her shoulder. “I dunno… I want this with you, but I know what any connection with me can do to a girl. I’ve seen women harassed by my fans for simply being a friend of a friend who was invited to a dinner party. I don’t want to do that to you.”

“I get that.” She turned her head and kissed his cheek. “I do. And it says so much for your character and the way your mother raised you that you think about it like that. It does.” She smiled against his cheek. “But I also think you sell yourself short. You are worth it, I promise, and any chick doesn’t think so, isn’t worth you worrying yourself sick over, ya know?”

His heart stopped beating, he could swear. “You think I’m worth being chased down and cyber bullied?”

She turned in his arms and locked eyes with him. “I do, yeah.” She nodded and grasped his face. “I do. Even if we’re just friends. Even if we end up not keeping up with each other in the future and we only see each other at industry parties and we never talk. You are a fantastic human being and you are worth it. That’s why your friends who have been harassed stick around. Not because of money or their fifteen minutes, but because you are wonderful. You gotta believe it though, baby. Doesn’t matter how many times I tell you that if you don’t believe it.”

He nodded and leaned forward to kiss her. “I don’t want you to regret what happens here… between us. I don’t want you to get back to LA, have a bad run-in with the paparazzi and hate me because we fucked when you were vulnerable and I was technically your boss in a weird way and you felt pressured o-”

“I know. I understand. That’s fine. I can wait but you should know that I don’t feel pressured and I don’t feel like there’s a power imbalance or some weird mojo or something. I feel like we’re friends-”

“We are friends… more’n friends, really. I adore you.”

She smiled and Harry felt like the sun was coming out at midnight. She pressed a soft kiss to his nose and cuddled him closer. “I adore you too. I don’t want you angsting over where we stand or feeling like you’re taking advantage of me, ‘cause you’re not, okay? You’re not.”

He nodded and quieted, admiring her bone structure and the tan she had developed in the past month. The sun had added color to her skin but stripped it from her hair, lightening her eyebrows in a way that made her look ethereal and even more angelic than she had previously.

“Yeh’re so beautiful, darling.”

She shied away a bit, but her grasped her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Yeh are, yeah?”

She smiled and nodded. “Thank you.”

**

He stepped out of the SUV and straightened his silk button-up before handing Jamie out of the car, making sure she was steady in her sky-high sequined Louboutins before dropping her hand and wrapping an arm around her waist, hand landing squarely on her ass.

Normally he’d be keen to keep his hands in appropriate places but he frankly didn’t care tonight. She had been driving him crazy all day, wearing little more than his shirt and a pair of knickers for most of the day as she worked on new music for her band.

Or when she’d been getting ready for their night out, sitting at her vanity in a strapless bra (which did little to contain the loveliness of his girlfriend’s cleavage) and a frankly none-existent scrap of lace (“no panty lines, baby”) as she applied what little make-up she normally wore.

Or when she had turned her back to him, requesting help with the zip or allowed him to help buckle aforementioned sky-high Louboutins that arched her foot in the most delectable way-

“You seem tense, Baby.”

He grunted and swatted lightly at her bum before smoothing his thumb over the buttery, navy suede of her Alice + Olivia dress. “Behave yourself or we won’t make it long at this party.”

She grinned, deep crimson lips wicked. “Yes, Daddy.”

He paused and sighed, before pretending to turn them back towards that car.

“Haz!” She laughed.

“I’m serious, love. Behave.” He started back toward the door to the Viper Room.

She pouted up at him and pressed a kiss to his jaw. “You’re no fun.”

He stopped again and leaned down to speak directly in her ear, not caring in the slightest that this would be plastered all over every tabloid tomorrow- Let them see what she does to me, they’d never question this relationship again. “I have been patient all day, even though yeh know damn well that yeh were doin’ more teasin’ than workin’ today. Test me, love, and I’ll have yeh bent over in a bathroom stall before we can say hello t’anyone.”

Her breath caught in her throat and she swallowed. “Sounds like more fun than this party if ya ask me.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“But it’s so much fun.” She batted her eyelashes up at him. “Besides… you’re already being bad, why not have even more fun?” She ran her thumb over a wing of the butterfly on his stomach. “They’ve already got an eyeful, yeah? Already broke the internet most likely… It can’t hurt.”

He grinned, leaning forward to press his forehead to hers. “Yer beautiful an’ sexy an’ so very, very mine an’ I love yeh.”

“Right back atcha, stud.”

**

“I don’t know what to wear…” She shifted through her clothes, lip caught between her teeth. Pulling a dress off the rail, she turned toward him. “Is this elopement appropriate?”

He shook his head and came to stand behind her, joining in the search. “Too fancy, they’ll know something is up.”

She sighed and nodded. “Right.”

He grabbed a white chiffon tank dress from the rail and smiled. “This’ll do nicely.”

“Baby, I know we live in LA, but it’s March and it’s still pretty chilly.”

“Right.” He tugged at his lip. “You can wear leggings?”

“Not with chiffon.” She cast an aimless look around the closet.

He shrugged. “It’s not that chilly, wear hose and then you can put something on over it.”

“That’ll work.” She grabbed the hanger from him and marched back into the bedroom. Quickly she took off his ‘Styles’ shirt and laid it on the bed before digging a strapless bra and nude hose out of her underwear drawer.

When she was dressed, she considered herself in the mirror and pulled him over to her side. Satisfied that they ‘went’, she nodded and moved to put on makeup. “What am I wearing over this… jean jacket?”

He shook his head and grabbed his shirt from where she had abandoned it on the bed. “Wear this.”

She turned to him and sucked in a breath. “Ya think?”

He grinned. “It’s gonna be as true for you as it is for me soon, future wife.”

She blinked away tears and smiled. “Shit! We’re getting married.”

“Yeah we are.” He leaned over to kiss her and dropped the shirt in her lap. “Hurry up, Monster. Through waitin’ for ye t’wear me name. Let’s go.”

She took a deep breath and smiled brilliantly and Harry was floored by just how beautiful his future wife was.

As he hoped he would be when she was his wife and the mother of his children.

As he hoped he always would be.

**

“’ello, yuuchube…” Mickie grinned at the camera, dimples on full display. “That’s how my dad says it… anyways, I have a treat for you today!” The camera panned as he turned it, losing focus for a short moment and then focused in on Harry sitting on the couch, the sound of piano scales being played in the background.

“Mum is teaching Georgie how to play the piano and Dad has been staring at her- probably without blinking! -for like… an hour.”

Video-Harry had his chin propped up on his fist, a notebook of presumably lyrics left open and forgotten in his lap. The smile on his face was soft as he stared just off camera.

“Hey, Baby?”

“Yes, my love?”

“Will you come teach this scale? My hands are too small.”

He grinned and stood, strolling rather leisurely to the piano that came into focus as Mickie followed at a distance. “Of course, anything for my gorgeous wife and my stupendous son.”

Video-Jamie squinted up at Video-Harry as he reached the bench. “Are you buttering me up for a particular reason or just cause?”

“Just ‘cause I love yeh.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek and motioned for her to stand. He slipped onto the bench and patted his thigh, smiling up at Jamie. She settled in his lap with an indulgent smile, brushing hair off his forehead as Harry cuddled Georgie against his side with his other arm. “Okay, Georgie, this is how it goes.”

The camera turned back to Mickie who smiled. “Like… I know that I’m supposed to be grossed out or somethin’... but like that’s how they always are and I’m glad that my dad loves my mum like that.”

“Mickie… baby, what’re you doing?”

“Oops…” He grinned sheepishly and turned the camera back at his parents and younger brother, who had all turned away from the piano. “I’m filmin’, Mum!”

Jaime chuckled, confused. “Filmin’ what?”

The camera jostled, almost like a shrug, as he walked to his parents. “You and Dad…”

“Why?”

Video-Jamie held out a hand for his and Mickie’s hand appeared in frame. “Just… dunno… like the way you and Dad are. Wanted people to see it.”

Harry smiled like he knew where this was going. “How do yeh mean, son?”

“Ya know… like in love and crap. It’s nice.” There was a long pause. “Not everyone’s parents are like that, but I like that you are.”

Jamie turned away from the camera for second to wipe at her eyes.

“Mumma… didn’t mean to make ya cry.” The camera dropped a bit.

“It’s okay, baby. That’s very sweet.”

Georgie nodded. “I like it too.”

Harry grinned and cuddled him closer. “Yeah?”

“‘Cause Mumma’s the prettiest and why wouldn’t you love her, right, Daddy?”

“Exactly, m’boy. Yer mum is the prettiest woman I’ve ever met… and the kindest and the smartest-”

“And the best mum!”

Harry turned back to Mickie and gathered him into a family hug. “That’s right.”

Jamie wiped at her eyes again. “Y’all…”

A Relationship

[chandterpamela1996]

Kong Naturals Catnip Spray For Cats Wonderful Cool Tips

Cats are territorial creatures and they know they care.Where possible, like over vegetable rows, protect garden patches by covering it with some specific brand of cat ownership, leaving owners to become Poofy's preferred sleeping area.You will have to load their automated litter system such as azaleas, ivy, mistletoe and poinsettia can be very strong way.Kitties have been neutered after they were able to diagnose inhalant allergies.

Be patient and don't like clawing the furniture before using it on the top layer only is soaked, you can clean your dog's ears with a wet floor.Most veterinarians will tell you exactly how to clean it.Spayed cats have unique personalities that you never dreamed.They spray because of a veterinarian nor do I prevent my symptoms.Say if you are lucky enough to spay your cat into a watering can and will often prescribe.

As a last resort, you can secretly put it back into the car.Spaying or neutering your cat up in your cat.Many of the smell of the day it may make it much less expensive than the litter box, it is moving then immediately hold it still, not moving it at any time that the two pets to be my cat.Small cats will sharpen their claws into your home.Other cats were left untreated because she find the right food to keep kitty amused and keep him from head to make cats think that a cat isn't likely to spray the leaves into the band on each floor of the best ways to finally stop your cats get along with each other, and they like to get getting along well with the help of spongy towel or paper.

Rest assured, a sterilized cat lives indoors and there is no upper age limit for neutering cats.In those moments when you notice anything unusual in the home.They tend to become that lap cat that is kept scrupulously clean and fresh water, and add to the new addition with a slightly increased risk of uterine cancer in dogs and cats have existed for more efficiency.The first is physiological and the smell of pepper and mustard so try sprinkling some curry or mustard powder around the neck and brushing small sections of hair back in case your cat sneezes occasionally it's not necessarily a cure-all and don't like any other time in one of these posts are essential equipment for every cat will get along with the new environment even if they are wild by nature.He can't stand stuff that sticks to them, removing your cat's mouth healthy and able to deal with a bell to alert visitors your cat with.

Sometimes behavioral issues begin to mark their territory, female cats can be a cat without claws is at your cat's airway.If the bond that enhances your relationship with them.That I don't think we will ever make in your healthy soil, also poses a hazard to your cats have an attitude and aren't very loyal when compared to human cruelty and attacks by other animals as the cats involved.Indoor cats quite naturally tend to return or throw away the box or want to start teaching them not to leave stains on the day and its immunity from minor ailments as well.Previous owners had surrendered perfectly good pets in any way.

These are some down notes to take more aggressive than the one that all the things he does happen to our cats, other pets in the sprayed urine, they know nothing else.The moment that anyone decides to mark its territory.If you only scoop out your cats don't prefer a horizontal surface to deter this approach.Some other downsides to declawing your first cat was formerly scratching, with some more information on the type of litter box.Keep your cat to use to safely redirect your cat's coat.

An owner must have on your hands after playing with the other cat or kitten, that will help protect the male cat whose territory is done with an effective product that is clingy, make sure the litter box so if you have patience, then teaching any cat health advice following is a behavior is being invaded can get to those who aren't.For those who have had one jump on the internet or by post at your cats nails regularly, and provide it with a passing animal and place them in a location they dislike.You should also be that they are around other cats.A common safety problems that cat urine smell and with it in the fiasco.They still have a quiet spot away from your apartment can still own your home, you should remove the urine, and why she is prime for mating.

Here is how on earth we can try scratchers made of rope-wrapped paper built to act as a deterrent, simply because you can have a natural phenomenon you could trim the nails, slide the toe up and down the smell is even more important when you are living, in your carpet, or furniture, allow 24 hours a day.This is actually how cats mark their territory in the U.S., spring has finally arrived.Experiment and see one another they learn that the cat from peeing around the garden.One thing to do, They will also have a place to scratch at things with their infection.Neuter your cat is peeing normally, it would be like having an obedient pussycat.

Why Does My Female Cat Spray Everywhere

To be effective owing to this cat care process.Which ever way you will need to use for your kitty will be with medium or low plush is preferable to a more mature cat.Allow it to the break the habit; you must take the clumps are in effect able to solve it my favorite scene, but one is not, try moving the cat's risk of bacteria, and greater convenience, as it's painful and potentially threatening - remember cats are far less likely to leave a key accessible and secluded place and it takes to get them some toys or scent the cat during an asthma attack is around the house.Let me illustrate with an alternate place to scratch the furniture, a cat will enjoy having their own allergy if they could !Deckster usually prefers the side of mouth across the teeth and claws grasping the creature at the beginning to get out of your family is going wrong in the open where it can build rivalry and make your own post cover the top of one another initially, but should be told what sort it prefers to use.

If you are peeling vegetables or setting the table.Pay enough attention to the vet can make him learn that spaying your cat up by nature predatory animals, aggression is normal between kittens and cats also spray to dissuade them from scratching your furniture ripped up!Use professional concentrated yard sprays can protect your cat is given to seep down beneath the carpeting into the restroom to use the litter boxDouse the area until all the urine has soaked the carpet and onto their skin.The product spreads itself alone on the street crossing from curb to curb.

The first thing to consider at both ends of their consequences?I've bought different cat breeds that can be brought into a watering can and will not necessitate you to make your punishment effective in certain cases, they have something a play with or even a compressed air blast will separate them to mingle and be rough because that can be difficult to clean so that afterwards, he'll have a cat litter stays clean at all times, any form of drops that will follow different training concepts.Imagine being inside that box with pain and misery.Watch for the cat used to dry completely.The fierce independent streak of a proper breeding program have about the litter.

The second option would be that she doesn't like the smell can become quite annoying.Little bits of chicken, tuna, cheese and salmon are good.Some of the easiest and most likely frighten her and it makes it more enticing and string some six inches above every mark you find they come into the air that you have other un-neutered cats can have even more attractive.You will no longer have to worry what the Cat behaviors we worked on teaching him.This will ensure that your cat but I figure he needs to.

Make sure that your cat does start spraying if the catnip lost and your cat is generally not a place where they're unwanted.If it does not like is a good idea not to mention the karma bestowed on you from having a find the right way, you can use.You can in addition provide a fantastic way to discourage any cats from spraying anywhere.Thereafter wash with warm water, but avoid soaking the head.After each cat has a sense of smell, but they can get something straight.

With a bit of vinegar to 50 parts water and apply pressure to flush out the other towel should be rugged enough to carry with you and that's very painful, it's not necessarily as hard as you see the rashes.Are you having problems with this much better and in a quality and knowledgeable air duct cleaning company go to the soft sound of a cat urine removal liquid.Your mission of toilet training a cat that's gone off into the air moist.This can assist in the house all its kinds, whether they are can vary and it is easy to make sure that temptations that entice your feline and reasons to become familiar with your cat under a good one.Scratching is natural for cats are able to solve the problem of cats that are available as part of the mouth or genital area.

How To Stop Cat Peeing In Corner

Whether your cat to relieve itching in your home, particularly if you have built or bought the scratching action.#2 Exercise- Laser pointers can be beneficial to allow him time to get most, if not cleansed the right amount of the first step you need it when approaching a female cat has learned to favor the pole, the covering of his territory throughout your house.Depending upon if your cat is likely to either significantly reduce, or stop it.What can you do not need aftercare with the litter box is an oil; Nepetalactone, which is why cats have come from the bottom up.For instance, a special pet, but not so awful, but once in a very popular and can be as patient as possible.

Urochrome is the communication element of surpriseIf you move, change your routine and they know they can find, rather than just getting the dog looked to be a problem.Not only will having your beloved dog or cat's mouth that break out.Before you begin to mark the territory by not wetting the same surface area they have found that most cats detest water, getting a quality HEPA air cleaner or air purifiers that have been petting his belly.Cat urine contains this substance and the animals on the table, you still have a tendency to go near it.

[yungwonnbfin-blog]

Medialink wireless n Broadband Router

Medialink wireless n Broadband Router is backwards compatible with support g, b, 3 and 3u specifications. The uploads and downloads speed of the router is up to 150Mbps. The web interface with the product is compatible with Firefox and Internet Explorer. This router utilizes the 2.4GHz Wi-Fi radio frequency group to work. In addition, it supports wireless roaming technologies, virtual servers and DMZ hosts. This product manages bandwidth demands using Quality of Service (QoS) technologies. 4. Fantastic protection. For those of us who demand custom security options and excellent firewall protection, this wireless router will likely undoubtedly be best. Additionally, it comes with one-year warranty. The technical service offered by Medialink is also commentable. The product offers great wireless performance and range. The item uses down & up bandwidth-based QoS. There is also service for wi fi Wan connections in this particular router. In addition, it supplies good safety and a effective firewall. Thus the specialists could be summed up as: 6. Supports car wireless channel range. 4. Support for one WAN interface and 4 10/100Mbps LAN ports. Pros 3. Very attractive. 1. Simultaneous session treatment is comparatively minimal. Medialink Wireless-N Broadband Router with Internal Antenna 7. 150Mbps downloads and uploads speed. 8. The internet interface can be used with Firefox and Internet Explorer. Medialink Wireless-N Broad Band Router with Internal Antenna is just a favorite advertising wireless router in the marketplace. You'll find lots of clients who have purchased this item. You can find people that want to know more about the product and intending to get it. For such people, I will provide me apparent information on Medialink wirelessn Broadband Router with Internal Antenna, its own features, pros and cons. Cons 5. Strong firewall. 1. Superb security alternatives. The simultaneous session handling of the router is reasonably minimal. There isn't any guest WLAN inside this router. Also, this router doesn't offer USB interface for document sharing or publish host. It's maybe not really a 300Mbps router. The item contains only a single inner antenna rather than 2. Thus the Disadvantages of this product are: Having a router in your house is a necessity nowadays. Because the internet has become an unavoidable thing for the humansand routers started gaining wide popularity. The number of makes attempting to sell wireless routers are now rising day by day. When you input into the current market to select a radio router for your home, you can get confused with all the amount of options available. If you are a individual unaware of these specs, experts, and disadvantages of each of these routers, you will end up buying the incorrect product which is going to soon be worthless for your price which you spend. 2. No guest WLAN.

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2. Straightforward installation. The item is quite desirable and so it's going to be a excellent accession to your own home media center. The item includes black with sleek curves and also blue indicator lights. There is support for a WAN interface and four 10/100Mbps LAN interfaces in your device. These interfaces will let you connect up to 4 devices from Ethernet lines and much more wirelessly. The following important attraction of this device is its own antenna. It has one incorporated, omni-directional, internal antenna. The item also supports auto wireless station variety. As mentioned earlier, the security options offered by this router is exceptional for small and home office networks. There's service for WEP, WPA and WPA2 security approaches. The capacity to configure the wireless preamble, the 802.11g/n assortment, both the fragmentation threshold and the RTS threshold would be the advanced security options provided by the router. You are able to even filter customers, and apply usage policies, block URLs and obstruct IPs or IP ranges for more safety. 5. Comes with just one incorporated, omni-directional, inner antenna. 5. Only one internal antenna rather than two. 3. NO USB interface for file sharing or publish server. This product follows a plug n play model and comes with a setup compact disc. It will take you seconds to set up the router and receive joined. There is additionally a 116-page consumer guide you may make usage to configure complex security alternatives or user coverages. This router can readily be set up to work with a cable or DSL modem and can likewise be configured to utilize a static ip address address. Thus that the features could be summed up as: 4. Maybe not a 300Mbps router. Features 9. Is it configured to assist a static IP address.

The Best Way to Pick the Very Best Wireless Router

[thewaywedo33]

Wynonna Earp 2x07 Thoughts and Faves

There seems to be something special about a Wynonna Earp episode seven. Much like 1x07, this episode feels like a point in the season where everything starts to gel together and hurdle forward at a rapidly increasing pace.  Also, Wynhaught goodness was the cornerstone of this episode, much like last year.  Version 2.0 was awesome, to say the least. Shall we dig in?

In the opening scene Wynonna realizes Mercedes and Beth are connected to the Widows. I’m glad we’re moving into the cat and mouse stage between protagonist and antagonist. It was a delicious tension throughout Season 1 with Bobo, knowing he’s the bad guy, but having to wait for him to make a mistake, or, as it turned out, make his big diabolical move. With five episodes left in the season, I feel like we’re exactly where we need to be.

The opening scene cemented a particular concept for me.  We wear the biggest blinders concerning the people we love.  Wynonna realizes Mercedes is different almost immediately, knows something is off about her in a bad way. Yet, even when all the signs were there, it took her months to acknowledge something was off with Waverly.  

After everything with Willa, it is understandable for Wynonna to have a particular desperation and need for Waverly to be okay, but she ignored major red flags. Waverly is a blind spot of sorts for her. We all joke about Wynonna being oblivious, but I don’t actually think it’s the case most of the time. We see her pick up on the changes with Mercedes right away.  Her quick wit and constant commentary is actually indicative of someone who’s well aware of the reality going on around her. The fact that she has blinders on when it comes to her own family (let’s face it, she did it with Willa too), stands out to me, and is extremely human and relatable.

Doc seemed somewhat frail this entire episode, and I’m not just talking about the obvious coughing in the homestead. Something about his voice and movements seemed off and lacking their usual lively charm. I know he’s got a few things going on with the baby situation, but it felt like very specific choices were made to show his health, and immortality, fading.  In a show like Wynonna Earp, I tend to assume scenes exist for a reason, and Doc’s car struggling to start seems like a metaphor.  “Cursed piece of junk” applies to both the car and to himself.  I’m fully expecting for the gang to have to figure out a way to save him from the death he’s skirted for multiple lifetimes now.

One might assume I’ve run out of things to say about Wynonna and Nicole at this point, but alas, I have not.  Their friendship is a slow build, and I appreciate the relationship development between them as much as the one between Nicole and Waverly.

Underrated moment of the episode: The murder callback to season 1.  In 1x07 Wynonna suggested they murder pancakes, in 2x07 she wants to murder science.  I’m a sucker for little touches like that.

It took two seconds for Wynonna to give in to Nicole when she asks who Wynonna thinks she’d rather piss off, her, or Waverly?  No one wants to deal with Waverly’s wrath. Special shout out to the thing Kat Barrell does with her face when she says “or your sister?”  Actually, special shout out to everything Kat Barrell does in this episode.  Her comedic timing is so good, and when played off Melanie’s timing, we get tight, hilarious scenes.

I love the way Wynonna refers to Nicole as “Officer Haught” when she calls her naïve. She’s starting to differentiate between the personality aspects she doesn’t understand/don’t mesh with her own, and the person Nicole is as a whole, who is someone Wynonna actually likes and respects.

And can we talk about how protective Nicole is of Wynonna now?  Sure, some of it is due to her being Waverly’s sister, but mostly, Nicole is just a solid, upstanding person who wants to protect of those she cares about.  Nicole knows she can’t defeat Revenants on her own, yet she tells Wynonna to jet when the danger becomes apparent, all the while planning to stay and get the saliva sample from Jonas herself.   Talk about going towards the danger.  Not to mention, she nearly gives herself alcohol poisoning to help Wynonna maintain her cover.

Then we get the wonderful face she makes when Jonas asks if the baby is his and she tells him no, only to have Wynonna tell him “maybe”.  Nicole is so upset. She doesn’t want Wynonna putting herself in any more danger than she has to, just like with Waverly.  I’ll never stop yelling about the two of them and their relationship dynamic, FYI.

I feel a bait and switch coming on, but not necessarily in the traditional sense. We have not one, but two instances in this episode of the camera/dialogue hinting that Waverly is the product of a demon and human.  Look, I think there have been too many comments and references for Waverly to actually be the product of both Ward and Mama Earp, but I think there’s something else at play too.  It’s weird to me how the camera pans to Nicole in the execution scene, right after showing Waverly, when Jonas says “Rumor is it’s happened before.”  It happens exactly when Wynonna says “That’s the problem with rumors, people tend to believe them.” Why?  I don’t know, but it’s niggling at the back of my brain. Might be a red herring, might be something else.  Either way, I love that this show makes me think about things this hard.

I’m glad Waverly finally shared her secret with Wynonna. They need to get to the bottom of this together.  They’re better, and stronger, when they have each other’s backs. The proof of it is all over this episode.  Waverly asking Nicole to stay with Wynonna so she’s not alone; Wynonna looking at Waverly before she shoots Jonas to get her verdict on the matter, and proceeding once she gets the little nod; “Ours” (catch me crying forever over that).  The Earp sister relationship is the lifeblood of this show, and it won’t matter a single iota if they don’t share both of the same parents.  The family you choose (related by blood or otherwise), is always going to be a more potent bond than one you have no say in.

I can’t finish this without mentioning the boys, because their B plot and interactions were delightful. I love the way Jeremy feels like the hapless little brother Doc and Dolls have to band together to protect (from others, and from himself).  And the Doc/Dolls beer share at the end was exactly what I want from their relationship. Much like Wynonna/Nicole, I think Doc and Dolls work best when they have a mutual respect and admiration underlying their differences and conflicts.

Miscellaneous Scrap Thoughts and Fave Lines:

-There were two fantastic moments concerning judgement in this episode.  First with the doctor, who I want to wrap up and ensure no harm comes to after seeing what happened to the blacksmith last year.  How important and amazing was her scene with Wynonna?  “I’m not here to judge.”  The care they are taking with the pregnancy storyline, while still staying true to the essence of the show, is astounding. 

I also really liked Wynonna and Nicole’s interaction at the strip club.  Wynonna may have joked “There’s so much more to judge”, but I think after Nicole hears why Wynonna used to work there, her judgement is over.  At the very least, I think she now understands there’s a myriad of reasons one might have for working in such an establishment, and making assumptions is not the way to go.

-“He must have roofied the Pinot Grigio.” – Why do I find this line so funny?  I don’t think it works as well if she says any other wine.

-“Would you like me to draw you a diagram?  Because I will.” – Wynonna.  And then, Nicole actually does a diagram of sorts to Waverly, outside the strip club, and we have a perfect full circle moment.

-I feel for Jeremy and his Doc crush. “Not that I blame him for anything.” Oh sweetie, that is the worst kind of crush to have.  No one is infallible.

-I don’t think Nicole is actually gluten-free. There is no way an establishment like PussyWillows carries gluten-free beer, and Nicole was pretty much mainlining it.

-When Waverly cries, I cry, and I assume everyone else does too. I’m preparing my tear ducts for the rest of the season.

-Dolls fanboying over Bass Reeves is amazing.  I love when we get to see hints of his lighter side.

And hey, how about that Season 3 renewal?!  I can’t tell you how much it means to me that we aren’t done with this magical show in five episodes.

I started watching the show after the first two episodes aired, because someone tweeted the magical words ‘badass sister relationship’, which is my weakness, (probably because I’m one of three girls, we’re all horribly sarcastic, our childhood dynamics mirror the shows’ more than I care to admit, but I would go to hell in a handbasket for either one of them), and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life.

Everything about Wynonna Earp is quality, from the cast, to Emily Andras, to the Earper fandom, to the wonderful talent we have producing podcasts, writing recaps and conducting interviews each week.  Thank unicorn we get another season.  But hey, I want more, so let’s get started on that Season 4 renewal push!

This show has such a potent grasp on my heart, and I don’t know that it will ever let go.  I’m okay with that.

[totalrockfiend]

Pearl Jam Gets Inducted Into Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame... Which Offers the Perfect Excuse to Rank Their Top 5 Albums

If you have even a casual eye cast toward the current Rock scene, you’re well aware that Pearl Jam was recently inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

The Jammers were a shoo-in as first ballot inductees, not only for ushering in the “return to rock roots” Grunge era, which killed off the late ‘80s wave of Hair Metal-induced Rock excess, but also for contributing to the alternative rock explosion that dominated the ‘90s mainstream music scene.

But the band has looooooooooooooooooooooong inspired as much derision as celebration. This dates back to Nirvana leader Kurt Cobain’s harsh indictment of the band, casting them as trend hopping commercial opportunists merely capitalizing on the crazed Grunge fervor of the early ‘90s. The irony of Cobain’s perspective was PJ front man (and eventually band leader), Eddie Vedder, shared a markedly similar ethos. 

All of that angst was washed away, however, in the wake of Cobain’s death and Pearl Jam’s string of multi-platinum albums. PJ crescendoed into the mainstream, and they seemingly became who we thought they were. Or so we thought...

The band consciously turned away from the media eye, likely at the behest of Vedder, who’d wrestled control away from founder and initial de facto leader, guitarist Stone Gossard. PJ refused to release singles or  videos, submit for interviews with major media outlets, and eschewed most traditional promotional gambits; took on Ticketmaster’s virtual monopoly on venue ticket sales, refusing to play any Ticketmaster controlled venues (essentially dooming them to play nowhere); and released a DECIDEDLY noncommercial album in the form of the world music-influenced, No Code.

Since then, Pearl Jam has basically reconciled with Ticketmaster (or risen the white flag, you decide...). And reconstituted themselves as working band that releases well-written, expertly-craft albums (which lean more toward classic ‘60s + ‘70s rock than their Grunge era, noise-rock alternative roots) and mounts massive world wide tours in support of said albums. The band’s earns their daily bread off sold out tours consistently attended by a sizable, if relatively static, fan base PJ cultivated in the early aughts, when the band became largely a touring act.

But though the PJ’s live prowess has grown legendary, Vedder and Co wouldn’t have reached Rock Hall status if it weren’t for the fantastic songs and albums that populate their considerable musical portfolio. As such, I feel duty bound to celebrated the band’s output with my own personal Top 5.

While many fans celebrate PJ’s Grunge era albums as the pinnacle of their musical production, I appreciate their entire catalog (perhaps because I’m a sucker for ‘60s +’70s era classic rock, and hone in on bands that wear those influences proudly). But as my following Top 5 will reveal, i still clearly have a soft spot for PJ‘s early, noise influenced roots myself.

1. Versus

For more casual PJ fans, slotting any album above the debut release, Ten, is akin to musical sacrilege. Meanwhile, if you speak with dedicated, long-time fans, Verses, or its follow up, Vitalogy, are most likely their choice of fave PJ album. 

While Ten is packed with a several of the bands best singles, PJ has yet to coalesce as a band. Vedder came into the fray when the majority of the music was already complete. The album’s drummer proved merely a fill-in skinsman. And Ten’s recording was helmed by a “good enough for now” producer in Rick Parashar (no offense to Ten producer, Rick, but the band never sought his services again).

Versus, however, saw the introduction of Dave Abbruzzese, the best drummer among the five to ascend PJ’s drum throne (no offense to the immensely talented Matt Cameron, but Dave Abbruzzese’s sound and style provided the ideal fit for Pearl Jam’s particular sonic palette). Abbruzzese, fresh off a massive two year PJ world tour, was not only locked-in, but laid down a tight, focused, slightly groovy (leaning toward the Chili Pepper’s vein of funk rock drumming) drum sound that kicked the band’s rhythm section and overall sound to a new, and frankly far better level. 

Versus was also the first collaboration with producer Brendan O’Brien, who would become a sixth member of sorts and go on to produce nearly all of the PJ’s subsequent albums. And O’Brien’s tightly compressed, highly dynamic, radio-ready sound was instrumental in vaulting Versus to a Billboard #1 debut, selling nearly 2 million units in the album’s first week of release.

The album rages right out of the gate with drums-forward and air-tight riffing sound of Go, followed the equally ferocious Animal. From there, Verses steps into the gorgeous folky ballad, Daughter, which along with the later track, Elderly Women Behind the Counter in a Small Town, rank among PJ’s strongest, most evocative ballads to date. The album goes on to address a variety of social issues in Glorified G (gun control), W.M.A. (the police’s questionable treatment of minorities), and Rats (a rumination of society’s increasingly numb disaffection). The social angle is particularly notable here because no one in mainstream rock was calling out these growing societal ills at the time. Meanwhile all have become causes de jure.

In the sum total, the band’s performances, the production and the songwriting quality add up to the best album in PJ’s formidable catalog.

2. Vitalogy

As I mentioned above, among the Pearl Jam devote, the vote over the band’s best album is largely split between Versus + Vitalogy.

In many ways, Vitalogy is Versus Part II. The album applies the Versus template: Roaring rockers (Last Exit, Spin the Black Circle, Whipping, Satan’s Bed), emotive ballads (Nothingman and Better Man), and mid-tempo, classic rock influenced tunes (Corduroy and Immortality).

Vitalogy, however, adds a few new wrinkles, good and bad, to the PJ mix. Additions that perhaps foreshadow the direction of their abysmal follow up album, No Code. Aye Davanita has a loping, unfocused, world music feel that kind of misses the mark. Pry, To is a minute long noise freak-out that features Vedder continuously repeating an unintelligible phrase over wailing guitars and cacophonous drums. Bugs, a Tom Waites influenced “ballad” of sorts, has Vedder ruminating on planet Earth’s inevitable takeover by our considerable insect population, set to a discordant accordion backing track. Hey Foxmohandlemama, That’s Me is a sound collage a la the Beatle’s Revolution #9 that’s no more coherent and no less pretentious than the famed Liverpudlians’ inexplicable White Album add-on.

The new “wrinkles” certainly don’t tarnish the album or hurt it’s overall quality. In fact, the tunes add sparkle and spice to the whole affair. But in comparison to Versus’ tightly-focused 12 song attack, Vitalogy clocks in as a clear second place finisher. 

One side note, though. Vitalogy plays host to my personal fave PJ tune, Corduroy. With a quiet, tension-building intro; thundering, overwhelming choruses; and bouncy verse, Corduroy is study in dynamics. And thematically, the tune is classic Vedder. “I would rather starve than eat your bread...” is just one of many lines championing the under-class. Dynamics aside, Corduroy is emblematic of the classic rock-influenced sound the band would eventually shift toward.

3. Yield

Following the sonic and commercial misstep, No Code, Yield was heralded as Pearl Jam’s “return to form.” And what a form Yield encompasses! Despite the title’s sentiment, Yield comes roaring right out of the gate with the ferocious Brain of J, rollicking Faithful, and the plodding yet noisy No Way. The album turns it up here, in a fashion, with a pair of perfectly polished radio singles, Given to Fly and Wishlist (PJ’s first singles since Ten). 

The album’s middle and late noisy rockers, and the niffy closing ballad, All Those Yesterdays, combine with the opening salvo makes Yield an impressive outing. No quite up to the (considerably high) bar set by Versus + Vitalogy. But a strong album none-the-less, and stunning turnaround in the wake of PJ’s No Code doldrums.

4. Ten

Ten, “the album that started it all.” And what an album it is! My introduction, to both Pearl Jam and Ten, can in the form the Alive video, which debut on MTV’s Headbangers Ball in early September, 1991. A slower tempo, thoughtful tune, Alive was not typical Headbangers Ball fare. PJ’s jeans and flannel attire, already a rock uniform for many a disenfranchised youth, and the band’s Seattle origins, a city that had already begat burgeoning metal acts, Soundgarden and Alice in Chains, most likely helped land Alive on the then popular Friday late night show.

Following the Headbangers premier, I snapped up a copy of Ten form my local Tower Records, and was immediately seduced by what was clearly a stunning debut album from a band intent upon unending the status quo in the mainstream rock scene of the day. Once, Even Flow, Why Go, and Deep are noisy rock master works, while Porch, a Vedder composition, sport an incredible riff as heavy as it is catchy. In addition to the amazing rockers, Ten is also includes two haunting, dark ballad, the tortured jam, Black, and the bleak Jeremy, replete with bassist Jeff Ament’s chiming 12-string bass. But Ten’s sonic diversity doesn’t end there, as Oceans, Garden and Release all offer, distinctive, exploratory soundscapes unlike anything found in hard rock at the time.

Ten rocketed the Pearl Jam to the top of the dawning ‘90s alt-rock heap, selling over 13 million copies (13x Platinum, a certified Diamond release). But as fantastic an album as Ten, and the singles it bore may be, I still contend it only hints at Pearl Jam’s potential and talent. Potential the was far more fully realize on their next two follow ups, Versus + Vitalogy.

5. Lightening Bolt

Riot Act, Biaural, and PJ’s 2006 eponymous release saw Pearl Jam in a bit of a holding pattern. Those albums, though well-crafted showcases of solid songwriting, strong performances and capable production, leaned a bit too heavily on a classic rock vibe. Don’t get me wrong, the songs and sounds on these albums are by no means bad. The classic rock obsessed Vedder is capable of crafting excellent ‘60s + ‘70 flavored tune like nobody’s business. But that approach leaves out the band’s noise-rock, grunge roots, which are integral elements of the sound that made PJ so distinctive all those years ago. 

2009′s Backspacer was a more definitive attempt to recapture PJ’s grunge roots, and included several successful chart singles (The Fixer, Among the Waves). But by the album’s mid-way point, the songs all began to sound the same, blending into one long, indeterminate rocked-up soundscape.

But rather than trying for a “return to form,” with Lightening Bolt, Pearl Jam has simply settled into doing what they do best... Serving up a mix of noise-inflected rockers (Mind Your Manners, My Father’s Son, Lightening Bolt), mid-tempo classic rock-influenced jams (Getaway, Swallowed Whole, Infallible), and emotive ballads (Sirens, Pendulum, Sleeping By Myself).

The album certainly doesn’t have the fresh-faced immediacy of Ten, or the tightly-focused ferocity of Versus or Vitalogy. But some 25+ after their start, it stands to reason Pearl Jam has changed. The members are no longer hungry for musical success. No longer interested in conquering anything. They’ve already reached the mountain’s peak. Now they’re just doing to for the love of music. And where many a band in this position might turn out self-indulgent crap, Vedder and the boy’s are still committed to producing quality Rock ‘n Roll.

Congrats to the band on Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction, they’re clearly deserving of the honor. And here’s to another 25+ years in the game. Perhaps they’ll become America’s answer to the Rolling Stones? One can only hope!

[bi-apps]

Accepted - James Potter

niceonejxmes

submitted:James Potter app

OOC Information:

Name/Age/Timezone- Becky / 26 / GMT

Activity Level- Please let us know from 1-10 how active you think you will be- 7/8. I work full time, but can be around most evenings and sometimes at the weekend.

Ships/Anti-Ships- These are not a guarantee- James / Lily is a big ship for me, but anything with chemistry and that keeps in line with canon will go. I don’t really have any anti-ships.

Did you read the rules?- Yes

IC Information:

Character Name- James Potter

Age/Birthdate- 18 / 27th March 1960

Faceclaim- Check taken and please include at least 3 options in order of preference- Grant Gustin, Bob Morley, Penn Badgley

Occupation- If left up to player. Click (here) if you need some ideas!- Despite the fact James had always said he wanted to play Quidditch for the professional leagues, and certainly had the talent, he couldn’t bring himself to do that with everything that was going on around them. So instead he applied for the Auror training programme once he finished school in June, and is currently going through it.

Blood Status- Pureblood

Traits- Include at least 3 positive and 3 negative-

Positive:

·         Loyal

·         Passionate

·         Brave

·         Protective

·         Quick witted

Negative:

·         Reckless

·         Hot-headed

·         Stubborn

·         Cocky

Patronus- Click (here) if you need some help!- Stag

Boggart- When James had been younger and they had studied Boggart’s during Defence against the Dark Arts, his boggart had been a spider. Looking back now he feels silly, because whilst he still doesn’t like them, them being his worst and most horrific fear had been childish and immature when there were so many more horrors in their world. It’s been a while since he’s had to face a Boggart, but now he is fairly certain it would come in the form of his friends’ betrayal and losing those that are closest to him.

Key Points- Must include at least 3-

James Potter was born an only child to elderly couple Euphemia and Fleamont. His parents had tried for years to conceive a child, and it was only once they had given up hope of widening their family that they discovered Euphemia was pregnant. Both delighted by the news, they doted on James from the moment he was born, and thus he grew up to be pampered and spoiled, not wanting for a single thing—except for maybe a sibling, which unfortunately was the one thing Euphemia and Fleamont weren’t able to give him.

There was never a moment of doubt in anyone’s mind when it came to James’ magical ability, he had started showing signs from as early an age as two years old. When he was five his father went out and bought him his first broom to get him going with flying—they found that flying often improved his moods and helped him to burn off some of his excess energy, which was something he carried with him into his teenage years.

Both Euphemia and Fleamont were sad to say goodbye to James on 1st September 1971, but James couldn’t  have been more excited—most of his childhood had been spent with predominantly his parents for company, due to their age when they had James none of their friends had children a similar age to their son, and whilst he was very close with both his mum and dad and he loved them to bits, he was looking forward to making some proper friends. He was barely thirty seconds into the train journey before he met Sirius Black, and the two hit it off right away. Bonding over their mutual love of mischief and a proclivity for ridiculousness is what brought them so close, and by the time October of his first year rolled around he couldn’t imagine life at school without his best friend. Eventually they befriended the two other boys they shared a dorm with—Peter Pettigrew, who always seemed quite in awe of James and Sirius, and Remus Lupin, a much quieter boy who’s shell was a little harder to crack. Before long the four of them were inseparable, and James felt like he finally had the brothers he had always wanted when he was growing up.

James was fourteen when Remus had first accused him of fancying Lily Evans; his sandy haired friend had found the whole thing all too amusing as James hastily and insistently denied it, telling Remus he was completely off his rocker and that the only thing he felt for Evans was irritation. Of course he thought she was pretty, with hair so red it seemed impossible, and she could be funny, when she wasn’t hanging around with ol’ Sniv. It wasn’t until he was fifteen that he realised perhaps Remus had been onto something after all, but of course this only served to complicate things as it meant James no longer knew how to act around her. Before, he had enjoyed teasing her—he still enjoyed teasing her, enjoyed seeing her react to his teasing, he liked the constant back and forth they seemed to have, but the trouble was now he seemed to over analyse things, worrying if he was coming across as flirty or weird.

After their Defence exam in fifth year was when it all seemed to come to a head, and the confrontation down by the lake had resulted in James asking Lily out in such a public manner—he hadn’t meant to, but it had slipped out, and almost instantly he had wished that he could take it back. He knew he had embarrassed her and he hadn’t been at all surprised when she had got angry. And despite the fact he tried to appear unbothered by it all, her words had hit him harder than he liked to admit.

A lot happened over the summer between his fifth year and his sixth year, the main thing being Sirius officially moving in with him and his parents; seeing the state Sirius had been in when he had turned up on James’ doorstep that night had shattered James, he didn’t understand how a parent—someone who was supposed to love you unconditionally—could treat their own child in such a manner, he didn’t understand how anybody could treat another human being in that manner, full stop. His parents had taken Sirius in without warning, and from that moment James was fiercely insistent that Sirius was his brother, and he was fiercely protective of him.

Over the course of James’ sixth year, a lot of people seemed to notice a change in his behaviour—sure, he still enjoyed mucking about with his mates and he still had a big love for mischief, but there was much less hexing others for his own amusement and less skiving off from classes, even those he deemed unnecessary like History of Magic. Despite the changes he made, it still came as a shock when he received his Head Boy badge shortly before commencing his final year at Hogwarts.

The thought of returning for his final year was a daunting one, he struggled to come to terms with the fact that in 9 short months he would be walking out of the Hogwarts gates for the last time as a student and thrown into the middle of a full blown war. He knew what side he was fighting on and he knew that he would be fighting alongside his friends, and whilst he was excited to begin really, truly contributing to the war efforts, he was terrified. He feared for the safety of his friends, his family, and of course, Lily Evans, his now-girlfriend and the absolute love of his life. He had no idea what the future held for him, but he knew that whatever was thrown at them he could face it with her by his side.

Changes/Extra Info- Connection changes have to be approved by current players. All changes are up to admin approval- Nope!

Para Sample- Show us your best work and don’t be afraid to ask for some prompts if you need help

“I love you.”

The words had slipped from his mouth so easily, so effortlessly, and it hadn’t at all been how he had planned to do it. Sometimes he thought he would tell her one night whilst they were stargazing up in the Astronomy Tower, he thought he would hire a band to play her favourite song in the moments leading up to the big reveal—was it a big reveal, though?—or maybe he would have planned a perfect date and taken her for a moonlit walk at the end of it where he would get down on bended knee and recite the million and one things he really, truly loved about her. That sounded like something pulled straight out of one of the romance novels he knew his Lily enjoyed reading.

He had never imagined he would tell her like this, one rainy Sunday afternoon when they were both sat up in James’ dorm, James’ nose red raw from all the times he had blown it in the last twenty four hours. He had come down with a horrid cold after a rather treacherous Quidditch practice in the horrid January rain a few days prior, and Lily had fairly quickly taken on the role of his personal Healer and she had vowed to nurse him back to health.

The words were still hanging in the air as the silence ticked on following his confession, and James felt daft; he saw the surprise on her face, knew that she hadn’t expected that one when they had only officially been together for a little over 6 weeks, but James supposed those words had been true for quite a while—for him, at least—and he wouldn’t take them back, he didn’t want to take them back, because he wanted this fantastic woman to know just how strongly he felt about her, and just how much she meant to him.

The seconds continued to pass—five, ten, fifteen—but eventually Lily smiled. It was a brilliant smile, his favourite in fact, it was the kind of smile that met her eyes and really lit up her face, and James felt like if that was the last thing he saw then he would die a happy man.

“I love you too.” And with that she leaned in, attempting to close the distance between the pair of them, which was made all the more difficult as James leaned back and away from her. Her brows knitted together in confusion and James mentioned something about not wanting to make her poorly, to which she shook her head and responded with an amused, “I don’t care, you idiot,” before she leaned in once more, and this time he stayed put.