#But i hate reading next gen fics where there's some kind of war still going on or some resistance

[maraudersidk]

The next gen era has sm potential but people just don't wanna see it. Like what i love about them is there's not alot of canon and even CC is usually ignored so u can literally write whatever.

And they don't have a war looming over them unlike their parents and grandparents they can enjoy their childhood (unlike their parents) and their adulthood (unlike their grandparents)

Also i feel like because of this it's such a nice area to represent neurodivergent characters because i feel like even tho most characters were not neurotypical they didn't get the chance to have the freedom to understand that part of them because they were well yk dying

I have so many hcs and if i could write i would so many fics but my pacing is so bad, but lwk this makes me want to write oneshots for my rair pairs.

Also i may or may not have made post of them gay but like who's gonna stop me😝🤷🏻‍♀️

[whatohitsonfirewelp]

I’m just going to adopt all side characters from J.K Rowling and Rick Riordan and make them mine.

Like yes Seamus and Dean are together and happily married.

So are Lavender and Parvati and they are awesome and have their own little shop with tea and tea leaves and all that stuff.

Blaise got a freaking vacation after having to deal with all the drama that he absolutely did not sign up for and when he comes back he’s really chill and it freaks everyone out at first but they get use to it. Just don’t get him angry, he will blow up at you.

All of them get therapy, I don’t care how old they are all these traumatized shits need therapy.

Next gen also gets therapy because it’s not easy.

James Sirius Potter is not a prankster but he does enjoy jokes and he has more of a dry humor.

Fred Weasley Junior is a prankster but he becomes a healer because he wants to make people laugh and heal them. His parents get really emotional over it and still call him their “baby boy”

Hugo Weasley adores reading but it’s mostly fictional and sci-fi and he gets them from muggle book shops. Ron ends up loving them and both will read a series together and argue (in a nice way) about whatever their reading and what they think will happen and stuff. He also gets diagnosed for adhd or something and that opens a whole new world for their family and their magical community.

Molly and Lucy are not twins and Molly is a squib. I read a fic about that but I can’t find it or remember who wrote it. She’s still a badass and adores who she is. Lucy has like mechanical leg but spells were created so that she can still fly on her broom and play quidditch.

Moving on because I can’t remember all of that right now

Drew is a bitch but she isn’t the worst person ever and after having a small breakdown everyone realizes that she’s still really hurt by Selina because that was her big sister who still betrayed her. Drew also can not paint her nails to save her life but she can walk in any heels without batting an eye and she’s tall, this is a tall girl who will wear heels without any shame and it’s the best thing ever.

Malcolm is the biggest nerd of all time. He knows everything about whatever he’s hyper fixed on but this boy can’t tell you anything about Greek mythology because he simply does not give a shit. Seriously, this dude can tell you everything about glue but he repeatedly mixes up gods and goddesses (it just got worse when he learned about Romans)

Clovis as we know travels through dreams and all that jazz, this dude when awake is the biggest gossip and no one (including him) actually knows if what he says is true because it’s from dreams. But he does give the great updates on celebrities and the younger campers love him because he’s the best story teller. He’s also lactose intolerant because I said so and he hates it with his entire soul and when he’s feeling petty he will eat an entire tub of ice cream even if he regrets it later.

Mitchell (son of Aphrodite) cares about what others think of him but he’s also really kind and while he won’t always stand up for himself he will absolutely destroy someone if they say anything about his siblings (and aren’t one of his siblings. Only his siblings can make fun of each other) and at some point he decides to change his entire bed and colors. Like this dude says screw social gender norms and now the cabin is this beautiful disaster and all of them love it. He also once shaved his entire head after one of his siblings got their eyebrows burned off.

After the wars Jake Mason is completely done with everyone’s bullshit. This boy is tired and he have zero fucks left to give. He’s unhinged and is chaotic lawful. He always has an energy drink in one hand and while he respects and listens to the camp counselor and Chiron he once climbed on top of his cabins table at lunch and sat in the middle while eating some sort of candy that he refuses to share.

Travis Stoll and Connor Stoll are not twins. Connor is trans and gay and Travis is bi and cis. Connor is literally one of the smartest people in camp and he had a small side business where he does homework for others (even over iris message) for some stuff in return. He and Annabeth are great friends and scare everyone when the team up. Travis changes a bit in college, it’s been so long since he didn’t have to constantly take care of other campers and younger siblings and at first he has no idea what to do. He’s literally the definition of disaster college student that has no idea how he’s passing class but he is. He’s also great friends with Annabeth but not as close to her as Connor. But the three of them absolutely consider each other siblings since they grew up together and with Luke as their older brother who hurt them.

That’s all for now!

[ussjellyfish]

Fic Writer Review

(I’m doing the Star Trek edition and just focusing on my Trek fics, for fun).

Thanks for tagging me, @curator-on-ao3! I tag @aleksandrachaev and @justanalto, @holdouttrout , @meanderings0ul, @lorcaswhisky @pixiedane @rikerssexblouse if you fancy it, and anyone who feels like it. (scroll to the end to copy paste the questions)

how many works do you have on AO3?

354 total, 166 if I just count Star Trek and crossovers with Star Trek

what’s your total AO3 word count?

2,194,290 (I am wordy and badass!)

Behind a cut for length.

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I’ve written for 38 fandoms total. I have fic from Star Trek TOS, TNG, DS9, VOY, DSC, PIC and AOS. I sadly have no Lower Decks fic. (I feel like that would be hard to get write, I’m not that funny)

what are your top 5 fics by kudos? (only Trek fics)

354 kudos, Village Building (Voyager, Janeway/Chakotay) 87925 words which I cowrote with Jacks, who is not on tumblr (she’s from LJ days though we’re still facebook friends!) and a lovely lovely human. It’s Janeway/Chakotay season 5 babyfic and it’s very gentle and sweet and is a really lovely piece about how the crew would look after Kathryn and make space for her to live her life while being captain. Has some very excellent Tom and Kathryn, Kathryn and B’Elanna scenes.

250 kudos, Stellar Entanglement (Voyager, Janeway/Chakotay) 29979 words, which is oddly enough a gift for someone who hated one line of it and we didn’t talk for years. We got over it eventually, but it was rough. (the thing we fought about? how long parental leave would be and I, being an american, thought 6 weeks was normal because my country is evil for parents)

The fic itself is lovely! Kathryn gets pregnant after a one night stand with Chakotay , but he’s on a long distance mission, so they’re separated for most of it, then she goes on an excellent space road trip with Seven. There’s a nice scene in here I like with Nechayev and Kathryn and I had a great time writing Seven trying to find her place in the Alpha Quadrant.

217 kudos, Mending (Voyager, Janeway/Chakotay) 15155 words

This is a classic Opal fic because it’s 100% “but what if this wild thing happened and she was pregnant”. Kathryn time travels instead of Chakotay in the episode “Shattered” and she’s very very pregnant, and her crew that she doesn’t know well get her home. Has some of my favorite B’Elanna & Kathryn scenes I’ve ever written.

189 kudos, For the Asking, TNG Beverly Crusher & Deanna Troi, background Beverly/Jean-Luc, Deanna/Will 2138 words

Deanna reads Beverly’s thoughts about sex in a staff meeting and they tease each other it and have a very good discussion. It’s sweet and friendly and I reread it when I want to feel that brilliantly good friend feeling.

154 kudos, Firefly (Discovery, Philippa Georgiou (Mirror) & Michael & Tilly & like..Disco crew. Philippa Georgiou & making friends

This fic is my beloved and I am giddy it’s on this top five. It’s so fun (for me). The Guardian of Forever gives Philippa the choice to stay in the 31st century with Michael and Discovery, in exchange for a very tiny minor cellular change, which is a baby. (she and Chris had some confusingly nice sex before she left).

It’s one of my least commented fic and the one where I feel like it’s just going out into the void (but it has a lot of kudos! good work little fic).  I have so much fun with it though. Philippa and conversations where she is mildly human is a blast. The fight scenes turned out well (even though they’re really hard to write) and Philippa and Tilly is brilliant. I love it. I love them. This is so my favorite right now and I’m so happy it’s on the list.

This is the best part of the meme, right here.

(side note, 4 of my top 5 are babyfic, so at least I’m on brand).

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to. I feel like I ought too. Sometimes I’m so busy behind exhausted embarrassed (how to I reply when people are nice to me! gah) that I don’t. Often it’s simply because I want to write more fic and my free time is so limited. I love them, I really really love them. It is so kind of people to comment. I short circuit often with replying to praise.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh it’s definitely When I the Starry Courses Know, which is Janeway/Borg Queen and she makes a deal to go with Queen if the Queen will save the ship, and she goes. It’s full of depression and self-doubt. It’s one of the best dark things I’ve ever written.

do you write crossovers? if so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Archaic Diseases, TNG/Battlestar Galactica.  I have a very sweet crossover where Beverly Crusher saves Laura Roslin from cancer and Laura has a bit of a crush. It’s rather lovely. 

have you ever received hate on a fic?

Sure, there’s a few people who just seem to get angry about things, or willfully miss the point. Sometimes I just get weird weird comments that leave me feeling angry or uncomfortable (I have a current string on a Beverly/Kathryn fic that I might just stop reading, because I don’t really need to know.

do you write smut? if so what kind?

Lazily, far less often than I used to. I like feelings more than detail and I’ve gotten much less interested in sex lately in fic. I’ve written f/f and m/f and some threesomes (one foursome). Keeping track of hands is hard. I write a lot of women receiving oral sex, I think that’s easiest for me to write.

have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t think so.

have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! the one up above with Jacks, and a few others. It’s a very different and fulfilling experience. I like being surprised. It’s full of surprises.

what’s your all time favorite ship?

Discovery!  Ummmm, wait no the romantic kind. Right this second? Beverly/Kathryn, because it’s so comfortable for me and brings to gether so many things I like about the characters.

(Philippa Georgiou/Kat Cornwell gets a nod though, because I’m thinking about them often lately)

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Captain Tilly’s Gambit - Tilly plays war games against Saru and has Philippa (imperial varietal) as her first officer. It’s one chapter, and I thought it was a one shot but I guess I have to write the fighting? space fighting is hard...It’s a very good fic though. I’d like to finish it. (Maybe after Fortnight of Kat/Pippa?)

what are your writing strengths?

world building, little details that make it feel Star Trek, dialogue, Sylvia Tilly, she is the best POV character for me and I just adore writing her.

what are your writing weaknesses?

Vagueness, I tend to write in a void without much description, I nearly always write 3rd person limited. I’m not very exact with typos and often things I’ve posted will still have errors.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If I can find someone who speaks the language, great, otherwise I usually have the gist of it or “A spoke Vulcan, which sounded great but B had no idea what it meant.” I try to avoid it.

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

It was Star Trek the Next Generation!! It was a big time travelling confusing messy wonderful First Contact AU. It’s not as bad as it being 20+ years old makes it sound.

what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Firefly! It’s gen babyfic and I feel like it’s in the intersection of so many things that aren’t what people want to read and it definitely feels like the thing I just write and post and out into the void. There are chapters of it that don’t have comments at all.

I am fortunate that I have people willing to read it while I’m working on it, which is lovely, and it’s so important to me.  I adore it. I love the process, I love thinking about it. It’s just important to me. The character arcs and moments and conversations I get to write for that mean so much to me.

I feel like the number of people I talk about it with fits on a hand, but you’re all lovely and I adore you too.

Uncharted (VOY/TNG) Kathryn Janeway/Beverly Crusher, Words: 56,764, kudos 137.

It’s the one thing I’ve written that’s most like a novel, has the tightest plot, the most research and characters and is most like a Trek episode, I think because there’s so much going on and often I write things that have very little going on. This is very different, and sometimes rereading it makes me cry.  It has all the best heroic parts of Star Trek.

The questions!!

   Fic Writer Review

how many works do you have on AO3?

what’s your total AO3 word count?

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

do you write crossovers? if so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

have you ever received hate on a fic?

do you write smut? if so what kind?

have you ever had a fic stolen?

have you ever had a fic translated?

have you ever co-written a fic before?

what’s your all time favorite ship?

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

what are your writing strengths?

what are your writing weaknesses?

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

[farfromtommy]

home (sebastian stan x fem!reader)

not my gif

summary: sebastian is interviewed during quarantine and is asked about life at home with his wife and kids 

a/n: i was so ready to post my first draft of this and it was 2800 words and i read it again and hated it and deleted so much stuff but wrote even more now its 3600 words WHAT AM I DOINGGG. i read a fic in this sort of style and absolutley loved it. i don’t remember who wrote it but i believe it was a chris evans x reader. if you know what it is please let me know! the italics are the interviewer and regular text is sebastian! thanks for reading in advance! this was mildly edited for grammatical mistakes i will edit it soon i have so much school work i’ve fallen behind on but spent hours writing this oop 

wordcount: 2,800

masterlist 

taglist

Sebastian! It is really good to see you. How are you? How is life at home?

 -Hey! It’s good to see you, too. I’m doing pretty well, considering. I have 

nothing to complain about. I’m here with my wife and kids and we’re enjoying this time with each other.

How is everyone at home handling the madness?

-We’re all doing fairly well. It’s not easy having to change our routines so drastically, especially with 2 toddlers. They were frustrated with us and we were frustrated with them at first, but we adjusted and are trying to take it day by day. 

As you know, we’re doing these interviews with a handful of celebrities, talking a little about their lives as parents during these unprecedented times. As a fairly new father, we were interested to see how things have been in the Stan household and a little more about your family life. Thank you for allowing us to ask you these questions. I know you keep your personal life private from the public. 

-I don’t mind at all, I love talking about them. I could go on and on about them for days, so ask away.  

How did you meet your wife, Y/N? 

-I met her through a mutual friend. They had this party that we were both invited to and had introduced us. I believe she had gotten out of a pretty serious relationship not too long before we met, and from the get-go was not interested in talking to me at all. 

How long before she gave you a chance?

-After a few drinks I went up to her and told her if she didn’t want to go out with me she didn’t have to, but that I heard so many great things about her and wanted to get to know her better. We exchanged numbers and we talked on the phone almost daily and when she was ready, I took her out on a date. The rest is history. 

Where did meeting her fall into your life career-wise? What were you working on when you met her? 

-We met in April of 2014, so I believe Cap 2 had just premiered and I was signing on to do The Martian and The Bronze. 

Was she a fan of any of your work before you met?

-She had told me on one of those phone calls before we had officially started dating that she was a fan of shows like Pretty Little Liars, New Girl and was a huge fan of Gossip Girl, which I was on for a considerable amount of time, and I guess she didn’t realize it until I said something about it. Very early on I had promised to cook her dinner so she went to my place and we had dinner and then drank too much wine and watched a handful of the episodes I was in. The whole time she couldn’t get over how different I looked. 

I’ve seen the pictures of you two at your movie premieres, does she like going to those with you? 

-She loves it when we dress up and go somewhere nice, so premieres are right up her alley. She doesn’t participate in the interviews or anything but loves walking the carpet with me and standing in front of the photographers. I always have her close to me and I’ll be saying things to her to make her laugh, which in turn makes me laugh. We get good shots out of those moments. 

What was the very first premiere you took her to?

-Our first premiere was probably Civil War. I had taken her to some film festivals and other events before but that was our first big movie premiere together. We actually got married shortly after that premiere. 

I remember when you both walked out on the carpet at the Toronto Film Festival in 2017 for the premiere of I, Tonya, you had a pretty big surprise for everyone.

-Indeed we did. Y/N was about 34 weeks pregnant with our twin girls when we went and that's how we announced it! She was nervous about everything that day but she looked phenomenal and stole the carpet. We have a joke that she’s always pregnant when we go because she was 16 or 17 weeks along with our son when we went for the premiere of Endings, Beginnings in 2019. 

That is amazing, I didn’t know that!

-No one did except for us, until now!

What would she say has been her favorite movie you’ve been in?

-That’s a hard one. Every time a new movie comes out with me in it, she says it’s her favorite. But I think it would have to be between Endings, Beginnings or Hot Tub Time Machine. 

Hot Tub Time Machine is definitely the right answer to that question.

-I agree! 

Let’s talk a little bit about your kids. You have 2 daughters and a son?

-Yes! Y/N and I had our twin girls, Genevieve and Elena, in 2017 and our son Luca earlier this year.  

You sent me a few pictures of them and they are beautiful. Congratulations to you and Y/N on the new baby. How is everyone adjusting to the new addition?

-Thank you! I think now that we have a somewhat steady routine now, it’s a little easier for all of us. He’s only 3 months old so he’s still waking up every few hours to eat and it was hard on us for the first few weeks since we still have 2 toddlers requiring our attention as long as their eyes are open. But being home all the time and not working at all has given us the time we needed to establish a new routine for us with an extra person in our home. Y/N and I are a great team and work well together. 

Do the girls help you guys out at all with Luca?

-They love helping Y/N with Luca. We bought them some of those creepy baby alive dolls that you can feed and change their diapers when we first found out she was pregnant, and they were thrilled. Once we brought them home they couldn’t believe they had a real baby to take care of. It’s the sweetest thing ever. 

What kind of things do they do?

-Y/N is breastfeeding Luca, so she’ll sit on the rocking chair in our bedroom or on the couch and is confined to that spot for however long he eats for and she always gets super thirsty while doing it. So I bought her this water bottle that keeps her water cold and is easy to carry around when she’s holding him, but she never remembers to fill it before she sits down to feed him, so they will run to the kitchen and fill it for her. Or if she forgets her phone in the bedroom, they’ll go and grab it for her. They sit next to her and talk to Luca about their cartoons or anything they think of. When I’m on diaper duty, they grab the wipes for me and help me pick out his new outfit. Gen loves picking out his clothes and Elena helps me put them on him. 

That is amazing, you and Y/N are raising some pretty wonderful kids. 

-They are pretty remarkable, they take after their mom. 

Who do your kids take after, looks-wise?

 -The girls look more and more like Y/N every day. Her parents sent us pictures from when she was their age and it’s scary how identical the three of them are. Luca is starting to look a little bit like how I did when I was a baby, I’m super pumped about that. They all have blue eyes very similar to mine, and all have my cleft chin. 

Is it safe to say Gen and Elena are daddy’s girls and Luca is a mama’s boy?

-Absolutely. There are days when I cannot get Luca to relax and stop fussing but the minute he hears Y/N’s voice, he’s calm and it’s like nothing is wrong. His favorite place in the world is on her chest with his ear against her heart. He loves to stare at her whenever she’s holding him or if I’m holding him and she’s across the room, he’s got his eyes on her. He’s always just absolutely taken by her and refuses to let her out of his sight. He gets it from me. The girls are a little more complicated. When they’re full of energy and want to be rowdy and obnoxious, they run right to me because I love chasing them around the house or having them climb all over me. When they are chilled out and want to play with their dolls, color, or watch cartoons they always go to Y/N. The three of them love laying in our bed watching cartoons with one girl on either side of Y/N. I bet that’s what they’re doing right now. But they’re 100% daddy’s girls, don’t let the cuteness in our bed fool you.

How do you and Y/N handle the inevitable tantrums?

 -We have created a really good system with them. If one of them starts to have a meltdown we separate them before the other one starts getting upset, we take whoever is having the meltdown and sit down on the floor and try to get them to talk to us about why they’re upset and allow them to express their feelings to us. We want to teach them how to understand and express what they’re feeling and develop the skills to deal with them in the future. The same goes for if they have tantrums at the same time or if they’re upset with me or Y/N. When they’re ready we put the girls together and have them apologize or say whatever needs to be said. 

What do your days look like now that you’re at home with them?

  -Luca wakes us up at about 6 am to eat and a diaper change. Mornings are one of the only times Y/N and I have to ourselves so we go back to bed and just enjoy being there with each other. The girls come in around 8 and want to get under the covers and cuddle with us for a bit. Sometimes we’ll get Luca out of his bassinet and it’ll be all 5 of us, but usually we take this time to love on our girls for a bit before we get our day started. After an hour or so they start to get hungry so one of us will stay in bed with the kids while the other handles breakfast. Once we get them out of bed and they’ve had breakfast I play with them before I do some work. I’ll work for a couple of hours and then we’ll eat lunch together and all the kids go down for naps.

-During their nap Y/N and I are working out a little and tidying up around the house. When the girls wake up they’re full of energy and we’re chasing them around and keeping Luca happy until dinner. After dinner they all have bath time with mom and I’m finishing up some work and doing the endless amounts of laundry we have. Bedtime for the girls is 9 pm and after they’re asleep we’re in the living room with Luca until he starts to get tired and he goes back into our room and goes to sleep. When all the kids are in bed we’re in the living room watching a movie or listening to music and talking to each other. We’ll take a shower or a bath together before we get ready for bed and do the same thing all over again!

Wow! You guys have your hands full it seems.

 -Kids are no joke. I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like when Luca is mobile. My life nowadays is chasing after toddlers and laundry. So. Much. Laundry. But I really wouldn’t have it any other way, I love being a dad.

Have you thought about taking everyone to Romania and showing them where you grew up?

 -Y/N and I went in 2016 while we were in Europe for our honeymoon and spent a couple of days there. We had talked about going this year or the next and leaving the girls with her parents but then we found out she was pregnant with Luca and we don’t want to leave him when he’s too young. Maybe when they’re older and can appreciate it more we’ll take them, I’d love for them to learn a little bit about their history. 

Have you taught them any Romanian?

 -I have. My mom encouraged me to introduce them to it when they’re young so they’ll absorb it better. The girls know a couple of words and can understand and speak basic sentences when I’m talking to them in Romanian. They’re picking it up a lot quicker than I thought they would. Luca just giggles when I talk to him in any language. 

What about Y/N? Did you ever try teaching her?

-I did, and still am. One of the ways I tried impressing her when we first got together was how I could speak a different language and she loved it and made me promise to teach her the basics. When things got serious and I introduced her to my mom, we spent the whole evening teaching her simple words and phrases. She’s good at picking up what we’re saying and putting everything together to understand what we said. I translated for her the entire time we were in Romania. She knew what she wanted to say but didn’t know how to say it. She’s getting there. 

What changes when you are cast for a movie that is going to keep you away from home for an extended amount of time?

-Before I met Y/N and had kids, I was taking jobs wherever and didn’t care if I was going to be away for months at a time. Once we brought up about settling down and buying a house together and starting a family we had a long conversation about where my career was going to go and how we were going to fit a family into that. She never wanted me to give up what I love doing and always said a family could wait until I was ready to step back from acting. I knew most of the things I’d be working on would be based in New York or Atlanta. We have our house in New York and it only made sense to have a house in Atlanta. Now whenever I’m needed in Atlanta for work, we pack up some things and have it shipped to our house down there. 

How did you handle having to shoot for Infinity War and Endgame for so long?

-Luckily I didn’t have a huge role in either of them and didn’t have to be on set as much compared to Evans or really anyone else in that movie. Shooting started for Infinity War January of 2017 and we bought our house down there just a few months prior. I had some other things I was working on in Atlanta and we had just decided to stay down there until everything was wrapped. We got there at the beginning of February and found out Y/N was pregnant with the girls about a month after that. We wrapped Infinity War in July and Endgame started in August. We did the premiere for I, Tonya, and went back to Atlanta since I would be needed there again. Y/N went into labor a few weeks later and we had the girls in Atlanta right in the middle of shooting Endgame. 

Did you take them to set to introduce them to everyone?

-We did. We had them a couple of weeks before we shot the final scenes in Endgame and when Y/N was a bit stronger, I asked her to bring them to set for morale and dear God everyone lost their minds. Everyone knew we had them but I wasn’t on set at all until that day and a couple of hours into shooting I told everyone to be prepared for what was coming and with everyone standing around looking confused, here comes Y/N with these 2 tiny babies in her arms. I have some pretty epic pictures and me holding them with the metal arm on and Evans holding them with the Cap suit. 

Who do you trust most to babysit them out of everyone you worked with on Endgame?

-Evans is definitely on the top of my babysitter's list. He did watch them a few times when he was in Atlanta for a another movie while we were shooting Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Y/N and I needed a date night and he offered to stay at our house and watch them. The girls adore him. Mackie is great with them, too. I could probably call Tom Holland if I was desperate.

Did Y/N have Luca while you were shooting The Falcon and the Winter Soldier?

-Yes. We started shooting in November of 2019 in Atlanta, and she was about 24 weeks pregnant. I took her and the girls with me and Y/N went into labor in February. 

When production was set to move to Europe, were they all going with you? 

-So when we found out we were set to shoot in Prague we knew Y/N and Luca weren’t going to be able to go since he was going to be too young to travel out of the country. We planned to get her and the baby back to New York in March and I was going to take the girls to Europe with me, so Y/N could focus on Luca and not have to take care of all 3 of them by herself. We were shooting for 3 weeks so it wasn’t a crazy amount of time for us to be apart. 

How did the virus change those plans?

-When news of the virus spreading broke we got Y/N, Luca, and the girls to New York before it spread here. Y/N has some family in Florida so they drove up and flew to New York with her so she had help with the baby and the girls. Production was halted the first week of March and I was on the next plane to New York to get back to them. 

How scary was it sitting at home with your 3 young kids just watching how quickly the virus was spreading?

-It was terrifying. As a parent all you want is to protect your kids from anything that can hurt them, and you’ll do anything to make sure they’re safe and healthy. I had never felt so helpless. When the numbers kept rising and rising here I felt like we had made a mistake coming back and wished we would’ve stayed in Atlanta. But we didn’t know how long this was going to be happening so it was ultimately the right move to come back here. I’m the one who does all the grocery shopping and leaving the house for essentials. Y/N and Luca have had a few postpartum appointments and checkups but that’s the only time either of them is going out. We are lucky to have a yard for the girls to run around and be able to play outside and for us to get fresh air. 

We’re just about wrapped up here but I have a few more questions. These are questions that some fans sent in. How has your life changed over these past few years since becoming a husband and father?

-It’s changed for the better. Meeting Y/N was probably one of the greatest things that have ever happened to me and has given me so many amazing opportunities in my life I wouldn’t have had otherwise. I’m not even just talking about becoming a dad, but she has helped me see things in me I never saw before and she pushed me to become better. I’ve become a better person because of her. There are so many things having kids has taught me, I could probably write books about it. I love my kids with everything in me and couldn’t imagine my life without them, and I never want to. 

Do you want more kids? 

-Y/N and I would love to have another baby. I don’t want to overwhelm myself or Y/N with adding another baby into the mix too soon. I still have a lot of commitments I’ve made to work once all of this craziness is over. Maybe in a couple of years when I can step back from acting, we’ll revisit the idea of another baby. I do need one more boy to level the playing field. There are going to be 2 teenage girls in this house eventually, I’m going to need all the testosterone I can get. But right now, everything is perfect.

  What is one thing you want to make sure your kids remember about you and Y/N after you guys are long gone?

 -I want them to remember the love we had for them, and for each other. There’s a line from The Office I always think about every time I see Y/N. “When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be right about that.” My kids are never going to doubt for a second the love I have for Y/N. I hope they grow up believing in that sort of love and one day can share it with their person like I am with mine.  

Thank you Sebastian for this amazing interview. I send all my love and well wishes to you, Y/N, Genevieve, Elena, and Luca. 

-I’ll be sure to pass that along, thank you so much!

a/n: im a sucker for dad!seb this made me SO SOFT

tagging some mutuals : @bellamys @constantaking​ @auroraevans​ @angrybirdcr​ @auroraevans​ @tfandtws​ @smilexcaptainx​ @rubberducky-jrr​ @rosetintedbucky​ @disaffectedbarnes​ @cosmicbucky​ @spideyspoods​ @hollandsosterfield​ @spideybrie​ @wildflowerbarnes​ @marvelxholland​ @cutesparker​ @afictionaladventure16​

[pebblysand]

It’s me again! You gave such a thorough reply that I wanted to first say thank you and second elaborate on devastating and maybe also expound on why i love castles so much.

So honestly what i most appreciate in post-dh hp fanfics is the exploration of what happens after the war- particularly the trauma and healing process. I’ll be frank in that I’m probably projecting my own mental health issues but that’s neither here nor there.

Castles strikes me as particularly interesting and unique because it delves into Ginny’s trauma from the war as much as Harry’s. Very often in other post-dh fics we see that Ginny is the stable one, she is Harry’s anchor, they show her understanding and forgiving him without question. Which I understand and love but your fic sheds a new light on other possibilities. When I say devastating i mean the internal turmoil, the truth that recovery and healing and growth are agonizing processes. (This is me projecting again, that last three years have been A Lot). And i really appreciate that, personally and narratively. The ordeal of healing and healing alongside people you love and at the same time hurting and being hurt by those same people, and the harsh reality that none of this is linear is something that I just find so compelling in your writing.

Man that’s the most coherent I’ve been in a review in AGES - not just feral screaming. Needless to say, I am very very excited for your update and I will literally wait however long it takes, because you can’t rush genius.

Aw thank you so much for your kind words. I'm glad this fic is resonating with you. This is going to be long, so buckle up under the cut.

Thanks again for what you've said, I truly appreciate it. Without blowing my own horn too much, I will say that castles does seem to "speak" in that way to a lot of people in terms of trauma and healing, which as a writer is immensely flattering. I think as authors, all we ever want to do (or at least all I've ever wanted to do) is to write things that are faithful to human emotions and human experiences (as Sally Rooney puts it, we want to write books about "people"). When we get that right that's honestly the most rewarding thing in the world.

To tell you the truth, though, I never really set out to write about that. To give you a little bit of backstory on Castles, it's a story that's been more of less brewing in my head since I was 14 years old, which is when DH came out. I remember sitting there at the end of it and even then I couldn't stop thinking about the 'what now?' question. Obviously there is the epilogue (and I will come back to that in a bit) but I always had a question mark drawn on the direct aftermath of the battle. I think most HP fans have their own little corner of obsession, right? Like, some people are obsessed with Marauders, some with Next-Gen, some with the Death Eater side of the fight. The Post-War world has always been mine.

I believe that the reason for that, as much as I hate to admit it, is that as humans, when something bad happens to us, we have a very easy way out: death. I'm obviously not trying to encourage anyone out here to kill themselves and if anyone who reads this is having thoughts along this line, please seek help, but the truth of the matter is that in the human experience, death is always a possibility. We could choose it, embrace it, and end our own suffering. Yet, like Harry at the end of DH, most of us don't. For the most part, we tend to hang onto to life. Because, truth be told, it's full and wonderful and deserves to be lived, despite the fact that, objectively speaking, it's bloody hard. And, as a writer, that's the space I want to be in. I want to understand and describe why we make that choice, every day, to get up and carry on, rather than giving up. I find that absolutely fascinating. I'm not a writer for the sensational stuff (some people do that much better than me), I want to write the quiet and the silence and the dirt and the blood that's dried and the grief and the powering through and the not giving up. To me, choosing life despite trauma is the epitome of bravery which, as a Gryffindor, is probably the character trait I value most in people.

Obviously, from a narrative perspective, this interest of mine lands itself to a post-war exploration very well. There's an old interview of JKR where she says she insisted on the epilogue being included at the end of book seven (even though she knew it was going to piss people off) because she wanted to show that they made it through. That, as I put it in Castles, 'They lived, for better or for worse.' And, in that interview, she talks more specifically about soldiers and PTSD, and says that 'getting over that kind of war, that's the hard part.' I remember watching that interview and thinking: yes, exactly. And, that's the thing about the epilogue. It's not so much about the content of it, the who-ends-up-with-who rather than the symbolism of it. It's not only about the fact that they fought in a war and won it, it's about the fact that they fought another war afterwards, a quiet one with the world they were trying to rebuild, along with rebuilding themselves, and they won that one, too. It's about showing that bravery isn't always this sparkling, flashy thing. It's also overcoming the silences and the grief and the struggles and making it to the other side.

And, so, yeah, I suppose that leads me to write about trauma. Although that isn't the initial endeavour, it's certainly part of it. And as you pointed out yourself, that road is full of ups and downs because "living" is fucking fantastic, but it's also fucking hard. I find the phrasing you used about Ginny typically being the "stable" one in other fics particularly interesting. I'd never thought about it that way, but I see what you mean. And, the thing with Castles is: none of them (and I mean H & G but also Ron, Hermione - hell even Kingsley) are particularly stable or unstable. To me, they just are. They exist and they live and they try to put one foot in front of the next the best way they can, with very little sense of plan or strategy. They sort of make do, which to me is the only realistic way I can envision the post-war world. They're kids who've just lived through the apocalypse. It's unrealistic to me that any of them would hold all of the answers, or even come close to having their shit together.

To me, it was and is very important to show all sides of that spectrum. Although they likely all wouldn't have suffered from acute PTSD, they would certainly all have struggled with something. Not everyone deals with everything the same way, and I want to show feelings of guilt, and bravery, and confusion, and fear, and determination which are all as unique as the individuals who experience them. I also wanted to show that not everything has a clear-cut explanation for it. For example, when Ginny breaks up with Harry in chap3, she says some truly horrible things. But, what she does say is also the one percent of everything that lies under the surface. She says she breaks up with him for Reason A but it's actually Reason A. 1, A.2, B, C, D, etc. Because, truth be told, that is what happens in life. People rarely give you a neat little list of all the reasons they do something, especially if, again, they've just lived through something huge. Often, you only truly find out the real reasons for people's actions months later, and often, that's because they themselves don't even know, haven't made sense of it in their heads. So, of course, I think it's incredibly important to write all of them as going through something, because to me anything else would be deeply unrealistic.

And, truth be told, I've thought about this extensively every time I've re-read the books in the past. Throughout the years, I started countless drafts on this topic, which I often gave up and left unfinished, until now. I think what motivated me this time is honestly the pandemic. I re-read the books during the first lockdown, then set out to find The Perfect Fanfiction which would deal with all of that. I'd never been in the Potter fandom before and thought to myself: 'there's like a million fics in that fandom, someone must have written this.' And, to this day, I still sort of believe that? Like, I've had a lot of comments in the past year telling me that they like or dislike Castles because it has a unique "tone" and a unique "mood" as well as themes but I'm always like "really? someone else must have written this," haha. But, despite spending a lot of time looking, I never found it so I suppose that's when I decided to write it, haha.

And, here we are, lol.

[lovelylogans]

Yes. Please Open The Box. I've been on hp brainrot cause I've been rewatching the movies with my mom. Please

i feel like i have a lot of opinions that are popular opinions, and fuck terfs, but nonetheless:

regulus black would have been the perfect example of a brave slytherin that albus was named after

arthur, hagrid, or remus could have served as other father figures instead of albus; tell me hagrid would not burst into tears upon hearing his child was named after him? also, arthur, for both ginny and harry!

i read the occasional drarry fic but it has to be very, very well-written; or, at least, it has to have the understanding that draco has to go through some sort of redemption, either through atoning for his own actions, or an au in which he already has—some fics make him the next-gen spy, a bit like snape

uh, draco and dudley are perfect foils, and people would simp after dudley if he was as “conventionally attractive” as tom felton

dudley had more of a canon redemption arc than draco did

fatphobia is rampant in the series—villains are the vast majority of fat rep, and even good fat characters like molly or hagrid still have faults (hagrid is “big and dumb,” a bit like dudley tbh, and molly is kind of just? a Mother? like that’s her defining character trait. nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom if that’s what you want, of course, it’s just that molly didn’t have much of a personality outside of her children until the later books.)

misogyny too—molly was so mean to hermione in the fourth book and fleur in the sixth, ginny was mean to fleur too, hermione gives off “not like other girls” energy especially concerning lavender and pavarti

poc harry and hermione—sure, jkr says she’s cool with it, but she gets a lot of credit for the bare minimum. she could have written them that way.

there’s a whole lot of white people in hp. wish there’d been better rep

same with dumbledore! it’s so clear she said he’s gay to get better credit for rep that’s barely there, but now she has the chance to expound in it in the fantastic beasts movies, she isn’t planning on addressing it. right. okay.

should i even get into the antisemitism of the goblins

most -isms jkr ticked, tbh, and described better by other people who these -isms directly affect, so i won’t get too much more into it

wish hufflepuffs had more house rep, in general, they mostly just get cedric, and i wish that “good slytherins” were expounded upon, especially concerning the whole “no slytherins stayed” for the final battle you cannot TELL ME that there wasn’t ONE slytherin who had ambitions to fight voldemort

(i’m a ravenclaw, btw)

cho, angelina, and ginny are all overhated; movie!ginny was albeit lacking a lot of the Spice of book ginny, and movie cho got shorted bc they didn’t include marietta as the betrayer of the da, but like. god. pls chill ppl

albus probably considered that sirius was innocent but decided to leave him in azkaban, even though he didn’t know for sure; albus probably also laid out the traps for the stone with eleven-year-olds in mind, just in case harry wanted to try and prove himself; albus was behind a lot of the machinations, and at the very least he left a child to be abused for years on end

i wrote a ten page essay on why snape is a garbage person for that college class i mentioned. i got a perfect score.

like seriously i could talk about how much snape sucks and why him having a crush on lily isn’t redemption, but like. we get it. c’mon. “i see no difference,” threatening to kill a student’s beloved pet, being that student’s worst fear....... come on.

harry should have been the dada professor when he grew up. like it’s right there.

tonks is genderfluid you cannot convince me otherwise

i love wolfstar as much as the next gal, but if we get a marauders tv show slash movie, you know she’d make that shit as straight as possible. no thanks.

someone on tiktok said florence pugh as helga hufflepuff tho and. yeah.

mmm jkr really should have kept her hands off a lot of the international schools; i know she messed up at the very least native american representation, even though native americans requested she not do that, and there are really big Colonization Vibes from those expanded schools. which like, i get, bc colonization was happening, but. still. so many fics have done better with those concepts.

speaking of! fic recs! these are all on ao3

the changeling: slytherin!ginny. takes her through all seven years and addresses various kinds of magic. i absolutely adore it. harry/ginny

boy with a scar series: takes various “what ifs” about the harry potter series and writes them; mostly canon ships

sunshine in my eyes: lily is raised by professor mcgonagall. jily

true, and unafraid of toil: a character study of autistic newt scamander

the dogfather: petunia turns down taking in her son, sirius escapes azkaban much earlier, and harry’s adopted by muggles. only the first year of hogwarts is written out in full, but there’s ficlets that follow through to the end of the wizarding war. wolfstar.

(the completely unwilling participants on) the bachelor: james is the first british bachelor; lily is a journalist who is sent on the show, undercover, by her shitty boss. james/lily

swung by serafim: a characterization of snape that i do not completely hate; i avoid the last two chapters, bc i do not like snarry, it squicks me out, and i didn’t see the tags for it until the very end of the work since it gets more textual in those chapters, and also it involves real life events that feels a bit strange to write about in fic, but. that’s just me. i think there’s cho/harry/cedric in there?

turn: genuinely just one of the best-written harry potter fanfics i’ve ever read. harry after the epilogue gets sent to an alternate universe where things went a little different. drarry

the debt of time: obligatory “hermione gets sent back in time to the marauders” fic; these were super popular on fanfic.net, where i started out, but i read this recently and really really enjoyed it. sirius/hermione, remus/hermione

the pure and simple truth: everyone goes out to a bar. drarry, romione

hogwarts, to welcome you home: harry as the dada professor from mcgonagall’s perspective

stealing harry: sirius never went to azkaban, but harry still went to the dursleys for a bit. it’s written up to part of the third book, but it has notes for how the rest of the series would have turned out. wolfstar

hermione granger’s hogwarts crammer for delinquents on the run: if harry was told he was a wizard at age seventeen, instead of age eleven. drarry

the reclamation of black magic: harry’s grandmother dorea was in a coma and never died. now she’s come to adopt her grandson and seek a reckoning on the wizarding world. this is unfinished and is in harry’s first year; sirius black/remus, for a bit, but also remus/female oc and sirius/male oc; probably harry/hermione, by the end of it.

if any of you have fic recs (especially fics featuring ginny, jily, or wolfstar) (i’ve been meaning to read atyd, i’m saving it) please let me know!

[queenmevesknickers]

One-shots

All my Thronebreaker and The Witcher one-shots

Meve/Reynard

Still Waters

Summary: Even Reynard has a breaking point. What if Gascon went a little too far with his teasing at the Hel'ays revels in Angren? Perhaps Meve might have learnt a little more than just what her second in command thinks of the new ballista…

My very first TB fic :) (2.8k, Meve/Reynard)

Run Deep

Summary: Meve and Reynard have agreed on one night of happiness together - and they intend to make the most of it. Because, sometimes, when there's a war going on and you're in the middle of monster-infested swamps, you need to remind yourself what you're fighting for in the first place.

A follow up to Still Waters - (adult content/sex scene, 3.6k, Meve/Reynard)

An Act of Faith

Summary: There were half a dozen occasions that Reynard could recall in the last few years, when he could have kissed her: late at night after finally resolving a particularly complicated dispute between some of the Rivian nobles, a breathless moment after a dance at a ball at Lyria Castle. There’d even been times when he thought that maybe she’d wanted him to. But every single time, he’d held back. Worried he’d mistaken the look in her eyes, fearful of losing their friendship, reluctant to risk the respect and trust which he treasured so dearly. But now, seeing her so close to despair, he wondered if he could be brave enough to show her just how extraordinary she was, in his eyes at least.

Meve has a moment of doubt; Reynard does what he can to help (2.8k, Meve/Reynard)

Translated into Russian by Agent_Casper here.

For Queen and Country

Summary: This is how it ends. Alone, surrounded by your fallen men, a Nilfgaardian spear buried in your chest. But thank the gods, at least you did your duty.

Reynard’s final moments, from his POV (major character death, 600 words)

Translated into Russian by Agent_Casper here.

The Flint and the Flame

“Reynard,” she says softly, not quite able to take her eyes off his mouth. “What I want to ask of you now – it goes far beyond what I could ever expect out of mere duty. This is not something I wish to command of you; I ask it not as your queen, but as…as a woman…as a friend. Please don’t think that you can’t refuse me, if this is not something you desire.”

“I am yours, Your Majesty. Whatever you would take of me, I will gladly give.”

Meve asks Reynard to brush her hair.

Explicit/borderline PWP (but with so many FEELINGS) (Meve/Reynard, 4k)

The World’s End

Summary: It did not sit well with him; he cursed the fear that had paralysed him, that had prevented him from being the one to see to her safety, from being the one to pull her behind the shelter of the rocky outcrop. But there was nothing that could be done now except to feel gratitude that she had suffered no lasting harm, and to do his utmost to prevent such a thing from happening again.

It has always been Reynard's instinct to throw himself between his queen and danger; he had never dreamed the favour might one day be returned.

(Meve/Reynard, pining, self-sacrifice, 2k)

Sweet Surrender

Summary: That he is as eager to please her in bed as he is in every other way could hardly be a cause for complaint, but she sees how he watches her constantly, his strategic mind always planning his next move; even when he is finally content to give himself over to his own pleasure, it is never with abandon. She has begun to wonder just what it would take to force him to surrender his control for once, to let himself be ruled by nothing but desire.

Meve tries to get out of doing paperwork. She is successful.

(Meve/Reynard, shameless PWP, 3.4k)

The River

He stares resolutely at the dark patch on the canvas before him, determined not to allow his imagination to fan the ever-smouldering embers of his longing into flame. Five onagers, he thinks desperately, casting his mind to the inventory of their catapults, three in good condition, two in need of repairs. Six ballistae, all in excellent condition, but short three men trained to work them. It works well enough, though he loathes the fact that he is required to stoop to such tactics merely to maintain his composure before her. Pull yourself together, man.

(Reynard gets a bit hot and bothered, one-sided Meve/Reynard, 2.3k, pining)

Meve/Reynard/Gascon - OT3

The Messenger

Summary:

“Reynard.” She fought to keep the frustration from her voice. “Are you unwell?”

“Of course not –” The lie was interrupted by a coughing fit, much longer and distinctly wetter-sounding than those before; she realised suddenly he must have been trying to hold it back. “It’s nothing,” he continued, once he’d caught his breath. “Just – just something caught in my throat, Your Grace –”

“That didn’t sound like nothing,” remarked Gascon. “Reynard, you look like a walking corpse.”

Reynard would do anything to win his queen's trust back. When he takes it too far, all three are left to work out where they stand with each other.

Prompt fill for the Bad Things Happen Bingo - ‘worked themselves to exhaustion’ (pre-relationship, light angst, hurt/comfort, 3.8k)

Ciri/Cerys

Sparrowhawk and Swallow

Love is never easy, when witchers are involved - and being a queen certainly doesn't make it any easier, either.

A little slice-of-life/domestic fluff one-shot featuring the Queen of Skellige and her favourite witcher, set immediately before Of Time and Tides - though this story can be read stand-alone (Ciri/Cerys, 2.4k)

Gen

Some Nights

Summary: The Duke of Dogs had no love for royalty, nor loyalty to any cause but his own. But now - he's not so sure.

A particularly bitter night in Mahakam forces Meve, Reynard and Gascon a little closer - literally (Gen/platonic, 2.8k)

A Guide to Courteous Thievery

Summary: A Guide to Courteous Thievery: The Bandit’s Codex - by the Duke of Dogs, Earl of Mutts, High King of Huckleberries, His Trampy Highness, His Sparky Lordship, etc, etc

Gascon Brossard is the most ambitious bandit Lyria’s ever seen - after all, he’s no common cutthroat.

A little peek at what Gascon got up to before his run in with Her Majesty (Gen, 1.6k)

High Stakes

“Hey ho, Reynard. Don’t mind me, I’d hate to interrupt what is no doubt another stimulating evening of staring into your drink like it holds the secrets of th’ universe.”

He glared. “Can I help you?”

“If you’re prepared to cease hostilities – at least for th’ moment – then perhaps, yes...thought I’d see if I could tempt you with a spot of gwent.”

Summary: Her Majesty’s seconds-in-command begin to bond over a game of cards - with unforeseen consequences... (Gascon & Reynard, Gen, 2.5k)

Brother Mine

Summary: "There are times when we must do things which are hard, things which frighten us; sometimes we must find it in ourselves to be brave, even when we don’t feel it – because it is our duty, because it is the right thing to do."Forgive me, brother mine - I hope one day, you understand.

King Villem the First has had to make many difficult decisions in his short reign; decisions that have cost him dearly, that have caused much pain and regret. This may be the hardest yet.

Written for the Bad Things Happen Bingo - Big Brother Instinct prompt.

(Gen, angst, self-sacrifice 2k)

Beneath the Unchanging Sky

Summary: Seasons change, the world turns; battles and wars are won and lost. But stars are constant, the sky ever-present, watching over us as years pass, as surely as the sun rises and sets.

The night sky shine above Meve, Reynard and Gascon at significant points in their lives.

(Gen, one-sided Meve/Reynard, 3.1k, pining)

Fair is Foul, Foul is Fair

There was a palpable tension in the air each day at court until it could be seen what kind of a mood the king was in today; his advisors had taken to withholding intelligence or deferring certain proposals until it was certain that Reginald was in a favourable mood to receive them. Meve would not have raised the subject with him without purpose, and this sort of talk could only lead one way – and Reynard was not sure if he was prepared to let his mind wander that far.

Written for the Bad Things Happen Bingo. Prompt - betrayal. (one-sided Meve/Reynard, angst, regicide, conspiracies, 2.2k)

[areiton]

End of Year Recs - 2019

It’s the end of year fic round up time--and this year I’m doing things a little different. I’m gonna do my favorite two fic for each ship or gen pairing I really enjoyed this year, and then (up to) five honorable mentions. 

So here--without particular order, my faves from the year!! Also this is long as hell so hit read more for...more... 

Irondad

we’re gonna have to do this together by edibna (Irondad | MCU)

Being a superhero sometimes means you forget about the small dangers in the world, like disease. For Peter, this means he loses May to natural causes, not something he could ever save her from.

Unknown to him, May left custody of Peter in the hands of Tony Stark, who, even though he wants kids, has no idea how to actually raise one. With a grieving superhero teenager on his hands, Tony is going to have to figure it out quick, if he wants Peter to ever be able to move on and be happy.

Webcams and Webshooters by losingmymindtonight (Irondad | MCU)

Once Peter's relationship with Tony gets out, the public can't get enough of their new favorite father-son duo.

So, naturally, they monopolize.

(Or: Tony and Peter's relationship, as seen through videos.)

Honorable Mentions:

Put out every star

Holdfasts

i'm the satellite (And you're the sky)

stars, hide your fires

miscommunications

 ~*~*~ 

Winteriron

fractures (filled) with liquid gold by itsallAvengers (Winteriron | MCU)

Ultron happened. The Avengers left.

Tony is fine with being alone again. He always worked better as a Lone Wolf than a team player anyway. He's not sleeping or eating or resting or... living, but it's fine. It's good. It's okay.

And then there's James.

illuminate me by Half_SubmergedinPurgatory (Winteriron | MCU)

Tony isn't a healthy man. He's fine with that, really. It makes perfect sense. Unfortunately, he has a job to do that kind of has his health as a major requirement. So he unmakes himself, remakes the Accords, protects every single child super that enters his field of view, and hopes ferociously that the Avengers never come back to the US. He doesn't spend any time at all rebuilding Bucky Barnes' life. Not a single second. Anything he does that contributes to him is simply an accident.

Bucky is a patient man. It's ok if Tony wants to ignore him for now. He won't be able to forever.

(Somewhere in the world, a sense of dread crawls up the back of Tony's spine)

Honorable Mentions:

a street corner in Cambridge

does it hurt

the road less traveled at the end of the line

scars

looking at you

 ~*~*~

Sambucky

winter, sweetheart by wilsonsnest (Sambucky | MCU)

To know the Falcon’s identity feels surreal to Bucky. It means nothing. As far as Hydra was concerned, Sam Wilson was erased. He has only ever been The Falcon and to Bucky he’s always been Sweetheart.

we could jump state lines (we only get the one life) by notcaycepollard (Sambucky | MCU)

It starts in Paris.

“You can’t steal things just because you like them,” Sam tells Bucky, feeling innately that this is a losing battle, and Bucky cocks his head to the side, considers Sam very thoughtfully.

“Really,” he says. “I’m stealing you, aren’t I?”

Honorable Mentions:

seek out hidden places

not an end, but (the start of all things)

cancel all your reservations (no more hesitations)

they gave you a heart, they gave you a name

you touch me within and so I (i know I could be human once again)

 ~*~*~

Starker

Stipulations by anonymous (Starker | MCU )

Peter Parker’s longterm dream recently went from ‘get into MIT’ to ‘afford going to MIT’. As the time approaches, it’s dawning on him that he won’t be able to pay his tuition and afford the move to Cambridge all at once: he’s out of money, his secrets are beginning to pile up, and desperation has started creeping in...

And then one night, he saves Tony Stark’s life.

mr. hurricane by spqr (Starker | MCU)

Peter makes it to the ripe old age of 26 without anyone finding out he’s Spider-Man. And then he falls asleep during a B&E at Stark Tower, and the rest is—well, the rest is this.

Honorable Mentions:

Both Ways

breaking point

velvet elvis

the leash

left hand free

~*~*~

Thorki

along a deserted highway by trieduntrue (Thorki | MCU)

The events of Thor (2011) take a different turn when both Thor and Loki are sent to Midgard without their powers as punishment for their misdeeds. With nothing except each other, they go on a journey to reclaim Mjolnir together.

soft shocks by stereobone (Thorki | MCU)

"And why," says Thor, "would I need to come with you to Jötunheim?"

"Ah, well," Loki says. "They may be under the impression that we're married."

Honorable Mentions:

How Long We Were Fooled

we spent our darkest days howling at the moon

~*~*~

Ironhusbands

touch the sky by scrollgirl (Ironhusbands | MCU)

Jamie Rhodes wouldn't be who she is today without her friendship with Tony Stark. The flip side of that is Tony Stark wouldn't be Iron Man without the twenty-five years he's been in love with her.

twenty five years by Not Applicable (Ironhusbands | MCU)

Nobody knows how long this has actually been going on. (Tony Stark has pretty much been in a monogamous relationship since he was 18 years old.)

Honorable Mentions:

a date on the moon

home for the non-holidays

reconstruction

pretend we're in love (the heartache still hurts)

i place your hands around my neck

 ~*~*~

Winterhawk

silhouette by mariana_oconnor (Winterhawk | MCU)

After a mission in Mexico goes wrong, SHIELD Agents Barnes and Rogers are given the job of hunting down the notorious Hawkeye and the Black Widow, the only problem being: no one even knows what they look like.

On the other side of the law, Clint's enjoying messing with their new SHIELD shadows, especially seeing how close he can get to Agent Barnes without him realising, but he makes the mistake of getting attached, and that makes everything more complicated.

nameless by AvaKelly (Winterhawk | MCU)

A gun is pointed at him before he can even move from his position, the Soldier's metal arm steady in its aim. Clint sighs.

"Nemo," Clint says. "It's tattooed on your wrist, right here," he lifts his right hand and taps his left index finger where his palm ends.

The Soldier's eyes widen. "How do you know this?"

"I put it there."

Honorable Mentions:

What do you mean we left Clint on Mars

clint barton's super secret snipers' club

lucky in love

i'll keep you safe here with me

complications

~*~*~

RPF

the end of the missing by eadunne2 (Evanstan | MCU RPF)

Sebastian remembers this from before, Chris’s physicality, remembers shoving and tripping one another, and hugs that lingered. It had been silly, friendly, until some vague, unspoken moment towards the end of filming when their relationship had changed again - Chris circling Sebastian’s wrist with his hand, or a palm to his lower back, only on rough days, only when Chris noticed him tensing up against unpleasantness in his own mind. At first Seb wanted to apologize, brokenness is a tiresome trait, but the actions seem to calm Chris too, ease his busy brain. When they lost touch Seb pretended not to miss it; he wouldn’t have had a chance to anyway, right? - with two dozen excellent fuck buddies all over the globe. Weird how they all had blue eyes though.

I would lose my decadence (for your love) by deadhearts (Stackie | MCU RPF)

The thing of it was that Mackie had just been trying to make a point. He'd just been trying to shut him up, or to make something clear, and he'd done what he'd set out to do. Sebastian had been well and properly put in his place. He'd been put in his place so well that Mackie had never touched him again, not in that way, because he'd never had the need: whatever question he'd been asking had been so thoroughly and roundly answered that there wasn't any need to ask it twice.

Honorable Mentions:

Like O, Like H

when you kiss me i just gotta say (baby i love you)

cross the line

fine until you're not

 ~*~*~

Stucky

ain’t no grave (can keep my body down) by spitandvinegar (Stucky | MCU)

It's six in the morning, and Steve is heading out on a run when he nearly trips over a bouquet of sunflowers on the front steps of his brownstone.

For a second paranoia takes over, and he kicks the flowers a little, waiting for them to explode. They don't. They also came with a card, which he picks up. The front of the card has a tasteful picture of the Brooklyn bridge at sunset. It's very nice and sedate, like the kind of card you would buy to give to your boss. On the inside someone has written a short message in big, shaky block letters.

I AM SORRY FOR SHOOTING YOU.

Steve sits down hard on the steps.

there should be stars by childhoodinfamy (Stucky | MCU)

“All memories to tell you the truth aren’t good.

But sometimes there were good times.

Love was good. I loved your crooked sleep

beside me and never dreamed afraid.

There should be stars for great wars

like ours. There ought to be awards

and plenty of champagne for the survivors.”

- Sandra Cisneros

 Or, it takes them decades.

Honorable Mentions:

This, you protect

little animal lives

the long game

a long winter

the art of cooking for two

 ~*~*~

Stony

never too late for love by Sineala (Stony | MCU)

Steve has always believed that a soulbond is a blessing -- a rare and beautiful miracle, joining the thoughts and feelings of two people forever, from the first time they touch. Steve knows he's not going to be one of the lucky ones. He knows Gail isn't his soulmate. But he loves her, even if they're not soulmates, and he's going to do right by her. After the war's over, he's going to marry her, and they're going to settle down. They'll buy a house. They'll have children. He'll see his family again. Maybe Bucky will live next door. It's going to be a good life. He doesn't need a soulbond. He'll be fine without one.

Then Steve wakes up sixty years in the future to find that his wonderful life has moved on without him. His family is long dead. His fiancée married his best friend. And the only purpose he has left is leading the Ultimates, a misbegotten team of superheroes with flaws too numerous to count. Steve hates everything about the future -- but most of all he detests Tony, flashy and flirtatious, who embodies everything Steve hates about a world he never wanted to live in.

And, oh, yeah, Steve has a soulmate after all: Tony fucking Stark.

wait and sea by lenalena (Stony | MCU)

In which Tony and Steve get sent on an undercover mission aboard a cruise ship to make contact with Hydra. In this AU the military has kept the discovery and defrosting of Captain America a secret, so Steve and Tony have never met before. Yet they are to pose as newlyweds....

Honorable Mentions:

celestial navigation

the song without words

dear mr fantasy

slipping off the page into your hands

the twice-told tale

~*~*~

Stuckony

hide a heart of war by  Hummingbird_52 (Stuckony | MCU)

“You’ve got war in your heart boy,” Howard sneers, “don’t ever try and pretend to be anything but what you are.”

Tony feels the familiar burn of a flower mark being etched into his skin but he doesn’t look, doesn’t try and check to see what it is. Instead he keeps his eyes on Howard and his hands cupped around his bleeding mouth and nose.

the stories we write by NotEvenCloseToStraight (Stuckony | MCU)

A question at an interview leads to Steve and Bucky discovering fan fiction, and after piles of coffeeshop au's and fake dating tropes (and screaming over ABO fics) they find an author that writes some of the best fics they've ever read-- reader inserts starring a dark haired, dark eyed male reader as their shared love interest.

The platonic fics are heartfelt and sweet, the smutty fics have them tearing their clothes off to act out scenes, the soulmate fics have them crying over the true love that so often ends with the Reader passing away and Stucky being left behind.

Then one day, a fic posts with a scene taken right out of their lives, one that happened right there in the Tower, entirely the same right up until they take the Reader to bed.

Bucky is the one to realize the writer is Tony.

Steve is the one to suggest writing fics of their own to show Tony they return his feelings.

Writing fics to show an author you're in love? What could possibly go wrong?

Honorable Mentions:

eagles

branded

imagine you and you (and you) and me

[five-wow]

Author Asks

Rules: answer these questions and tag five other fic writers to do the same.

I was tagged by the wonderful @novemberhush. Thank you, omg, because I love rambling about writing and this is the best kind of opportunity to do so, handed on a silver platter, ahh. 😊

-

Author Name: Square / Squares / SquaresAreNotCircles

Fandoms You Write For: I’m a fandom hopper! In the past year or so it’s been Hawaii Five-0 (a truly ridiculous amount), Shadowhunters, Venom, Harry Potter, due South and Stargate Atlantis. Other fandoms I’ve written at least one fic for are Twilight, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Glee, BBC Merlin, BBC Atlantis, Teen Wolf, In The Flesh, Star Wars, Supernatural, the MCU and High School Musical. And uh, Alexander the Great/Voltaire fic (which would be... history fandom? RPF?) and one (1) Judas/Jesus Biblefic. If we’re getting really technical, also a tiny little bit of One Direction fic.

It should be noted that all of this is about fic that ended up getting posted somewhere on the interwebs - there are multiple Star Trek (TOS/AOS and DS9) fics lingering in my drafts (!! one day I will finish one of them), as well as some How To Train Your Dragon, The Good Place and Deadpool stuff, and definitely more I’ve forgotten.

Where You Post: Since I made the switch to writing in English everything has landed on ao3, but I used to write mostly in Dutch, so there’s still close to a million words, I think, under my name on quizlet.nl (not to be confused with quizlet.com, which is a very different website).

Most Popular One-Shot: That depends on how you’re measuring popularity! Going by kudos, it’s Tell me I’m perfect (but tell me the truth), a Magnus/Alec Shadowhunters fic. It’s the truth is a really old fic about Percy Weasley/Oliver Wood from Harry Potter that has the most hits out of all my works, and That time Steve kissed every single Avenger (and also Bucky), an MCU Steve/Bucky fic, has the greatest number of comment threads.

Also, since this is an h50 blog: for my fic in this fandom Wanted: partner (in crime) has the most kudos and hits; You had me at meow has the most comments.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: I’m working on one for h50 (going slowly, so slowly), but I don’t have any posted to ao3. I used to write a lot of multi-chaptered work in my quizlet.nl days, and I think my most popular fic there was probably the second fic I ever wrote, when I was fourteen or fifteen, which was a next-gen Harry Potter fic with shifting and overlapping POVs from the three Potter kids. It was kind of, well, not great, but it’s probably what really cemented my writing habit, it’s still my longest fic ever (over a 100k!) and I got my first fandom friends out of it, including one I’m still in contact with to this day, even though neither of us writes much if anything for Harry Potter anymore.

Favourite Story You Wrote: Ohhh, that’s such an impossible question, especially because I’ve been churning out one-shots like I might actually be getting paid for it, so there’s so much to choose from, which is a thing I have difficulty doing at the best of times, holy shit. Uh, I once wrote a 70k Remus/Sirius (Harry Potter) modern college-ish AU in Dutch that I still like; weirdly, I think that Biblefic holds up (also Dutch), and the HSM fic is fun to reread once in a while because of the fourth wall break, as is That escalated quickly, a Percy/Oliver fic. Ooh, and the fic about Shuri and Stucky and a goat!

For h50, it’s even harder to choose, because my preferences change pretty much weekly (a combination of newer fic being shinier, looking back at fic from even just a few months ago and finding things I would have done differently now, and comments influencing the way I personally look at my own fic), but right now, I’d say I still really like the fic where Steve adopts some guinea pigs, the one with the slightly tipsy team bonding by talking about mutual crushes and this 9.11 coda fix fluff getting together thing.

Story You Were Nervous to Post: That Biblefic, haha, because it’s a very complicated topic and my aim was definitely not to offend. People were really sweet about it, though! Mostly, they were kind of shocked it wasn’t crack, but that’s fair, because so was I.

Also pretty much anything I post in a new fandom, really, and low key just... anything at all. I’m always a little scared I tagged something super badly or accidentally copy-pasted the wrong text or unknowingly wrote something super offensive or whatever, despite my double- and triplechecking of the posting form. (I’m also still kind of scared people on ao3 will randomly decide they hate my fic and my writing and me personally (ao3 is really big and very anonymous and coming from the small town that was quizlet.nl even in its heyday, that’s scary), but that fear has abated as I’ve posted more, just because the data is showing pretty conclusively that thought is as irrational as it sounds. Everyone is always so nice, gosh.)

How Do You Pick Your Titles: Mostly, I steal lines from random songs. I have a small pile of song lyrics to use as potential titles, because going on a seperate hunt for every new fic would take most of my waking hours. Sometimes, I’ll use a pun (like You had me at meow or Retail Therapy) or something else that I think sounds good, especially if the fic is mostly comedy and/or has a specific premise that would do well in a title (like Five times the Governor of Hawaii suspects his taskforce leaders are violating fraternization policies (and one time they tell him they are)).

Do You Outline: I’m mostly writing fic of (sometimes much) less than 5k at the moment, so not really. I do sometimes write tiny bits of a bunch of scenes and then fill in the rest around that, which is a kind of outline, in a way. For longer works, I usually make a one page bullet point list of things that need to happen and work from there, because I can’t do really extensive outlining or I’ll just get caught up in the details and lose all of the oversight a tool like that is supposed to give you, as well as most of my enthusiasm for the project.

How Many Of Your Stories Are Complete: Of the ones posted? On ao3, all of them, because unfinished posted one-shot works would require some strange bending of those concepts. On quizlet.nl, I do have some abandoned works, but I think 80% is finished.

In-Progress: SO MUCH. Seriously, just, so much, oh god. I’d really like to write another Stargate Atlantis fic (and I have 30% of one done), and something more for due South, too, and maybe a small Percy/Oliver thing again some time because they were my very first OTP and I kind of miss them, but mostly I have, like, 100+ half written things for h50. I really wish that number was an exaggeration. There’s no way they’ll all get finished, but maybe... a third? Mayhaps?

That One Truly Long H50 Fic that I was already talking about way back in October last year is also eternally “in progress”. The thing is that it has about 25k now, after a year, and I think it needs... at least four times that. Probably. So either I’ll have to stick with this fandom and my slow progress for another three years to have a shot at getting it finished, or I’ll need to find a way to up the speed a little. Maybe I could try working on it for NaNo this November? That would be pretty awesome, but honestly, part of why it’s moving this slowly is because NaNo-style fast and messy writing for this scares me a little, because I might end up writing a lot, decide it’s not what I wanted for it, and become too intimidated to ever edit and/or rewrite the entire thing. But idk, I probably just need to get over my own fears, because I really do want to write Longer Fic again. Short stuff is fun and feels really productive and that’s great, but I miss the actual slow burn and build-up that only 50k+ words can give you.

Coming Soon: Hopefully a lot? For h50, that is. I have no idea what’s getting posted next, because I’m never entirely sure what’s going to be finished next and something really random might come jumping in, but at the moment I’m trying to direct most of my energies at a slightly longer fic I’ve been working on for months (not The Long Fic, a different one), a fic labeled “9.01 memory loss fic”, another one temporarly entitled “Perfect Kauai beach house vacation”, and maybe an ace!Steve fic I’ve been working on, if I ever manage to uh, actually finish that, instead of rewriting three sentences during every round of editing and never actually adding anything to fill in the gaps it still has. There will also be more season 10 codas, in all likelihood.

Do You Accept Prompts: I’ve never done that before in the traditional way, but I’m thinking about it! I’d love to try (and it would be a breath of fresh air, in some ways!), but the main thing holding me back is that I have way too much on my plate with just my own ideas to work off of, and I don’t want to disappoint people. Maybe if I do drabble-ish prompt fills? It’s definitely been on my mind.

Upcoming Story You’re the Most Excited For: I’m excited for a lot of stuff, but honestly, the top spot right now probably goes to the ace!Steve fic. I’m not even sure it’s that good, necessarily, but it’s, idk, really cathartic, I suppose. Seriously self-indulgent in strange but very good ways. I really like writing it. (Second spot goes to the beach vacation fic, because I haven’t actually written that much for it, but it’s been my go-to easy happy place for the last few weeks.)

-

I’m tagging @love2hulksmash @thekristen999 @stephmcx @girlonastring @flowerfan2 and @pterawaters, which is six people because I can’t count, but I’m about to make it seven because I’m also tagging you, the person reading this (hi there!). Say I tagged you and tag me so I can read it! I know that kind of thing can feel awkward, but it won’t be, because I’m cheering you on. Go for it, if you want to do it. :D

[fanficimagery]

Imagine feeling a power shift months after Thor has gone off-world. Feeling the need to follow your gut instinct, you find what’s left of Mjölnir and soon realize it’s switched ownership. To you (Part 2 of 2).

Author’s Note: Remember that this is completely AU. Civil War and Infinity War never happened, but Thor did seek out another weapon after the destruction of his hammer in Ragnarok. Also the remains of the hammer were found in the City rather than on the cliff-side in some other Country.

Gen Fic X Reader

After having been deemed worthy by Mjölnir himself, Thor took it upon himself to train you in the art of how to wield the hammer. He took it easy it on you, of course, but all gloves were off when Mjölnir was in your hand. Summoning lightning was quite a trip, as was flinging lightning towards the target of your choice, but flying was really not your forte. Sure you could do it, but you and heights never really got along and you avoided it when you could.

And all the while, you still kept Pepper in the dark. It was bad enough that everyone who knew already started treating you differently, so the last thing you wanted was your favorite aunt to do the same. But just as you were starting to become comfortable with Mjölnir and all your newfound abilities, Thor felt the sudden urge to return home.

With him went Mjölnir, so you didn't think it was necessary to speak of 'Lady Thor' until he came back. Unfortunately for you, no amount of hair dye would turn your hair back to it's original color.

You're sitting in the Common Room, back against the arm rest of the couch and legs stretched out so your feet are in Bucky's lap. As he catches up on movies you've recommended on Netflix, you're plugged into your laptop and writing an essay that's due before term ends.

The tips of your fingers start tingling out of the blue, but you figure it's because you've been typing for over a couple of hours and have yet to get up and move. So when the tingling moves to your legs and feet, you set aside your laptop and stand up to walk around.

"You okay?" Bucky asks as he pauses his movie.

"Yeah. I'm good. Just need to move around a bit and grab a snack."

"I was wondering when you'd take a break," he grins. "I was going to give you ten more minutes before I tattled to Miss Potts."

Chuckling softly, you walk towards the windows to peer out over the city. "I'm related to Pepper, not Tony. I know when to call it quits for a bit, Barnes."

"Mhm. As long as you're good, I'm going to get back to my movie."

"Yeah. Go ahead. Then after you finish this one, try Bird Box. It's new, but it's interesting."

"Alright."

As Bucky goes back to watching his movie, you let your gaze settle over the city. It's a calm, cloudy day and nothing seems out of the norm. At least not from what you can see being so far up.

The tingling in your limbs amp up and you try shaking them out to make the feeling go away. Only in doing so, it spreads all over your body and then centers in your chest. This feeling, it suddenly becomes familiar, but it's something you haven't felt in months. Not since Thor had been on-world.

Realization quickly dawns and your eyes widen when off in the distance you see the bi-frost activate. Thor's just landed somewhere in the city and you feel your whole body zing with the knowledge that Mjölnir is somewhere near. Remaining by the window, you inhale and exhale deeply, re-familiarizing yourself with the rush of power.

One moment everything is fine and the next.. the power within you just disappears. Knowing that that's not a good thing, your gaze darts all over the city until you see a blue source of power of some type explode outward. You gasp and stumble back, and then grab at your chest when you feel a low pulse of power return within you.

"Y/N? What’s wrong?"

You turn around, eyes wide as your hand rubs at your chest. "I don't- I don't know," you mumble. "I think something happened to Thor. I feel- I don't feel right."

Bucky stands up and makes his way towards you. "What are you talking about? Thor's been gone-"

"For months, I know. But like a minute or so ago the bi-frost dumped him off somewhere in the city," you tell him distractedly. "There was some sort of power explosion out there. I felt it." Frowning, you then meet his gaze with the sudden urge to seek something out. "I need to go."

"No. You need to sit down and we need to gather everyone."

"There's not enough time." Dodging Bucky's grasp, you find your shoes behind the couch and slip your feet into them. "If you want to alert the others, do it. But I'm leaving right now whether you come with me or not."

Bucky groans and hurries after you. "You're just like Stevie, I swear."

"That's a compliment in my book, you know."

"Of course it is." You smile faintly as he joins you in the elevator, you then pressing the button for the main floor. Apparently you seem so impatient that when the doors open to the lobby, Bucky yanks you back in and presses the button for the building's private garage. "We'll take a bike. I'll drive and you just point me where to go."

"Oh. Okay."

Once the both of you are sporting black helmets and you're settled behind Bucky on a motorcycle of his, he pulls out of the garage and starts driving in the direction you point him in. You're not sure how you know where you're going, but the pulsing within you is kind of acting like a GPS and leading you where you need to be.

After many turns and dodging through traffic, you lead Bucky down an alley that’s apparently seen better days. You tap him on the shoulder and he slows to a stop, he then killing the engine and pulling off his helmet. You hop off the bike before pulling off your own helmet, you then setting it on the seat before stumbling forward.

"What are we doing here, Y/N?"

You shrug. "I'm not sure, but there's something here. Something calling me."

"Christ, kid, you're going to get me in so much trouble."

As you listen to Bucky's steps slowly follow after you, you're amazed at the fact that your feet are leading you as if they had a mind of their own. Up ahead on the ground towards the middle of the alley, there's what appears to be a stick surrounded by crumbled pieces of asphalt. Only as you get closer and the pulsing within you gets stronger and faster, you know it's anything but.

The shaft of Mjölnir lays surrounded by broken pieces of the metal Mjölnir is made up of and there's not an Asgardian in sight.

"Oh Thor, what happened here?"

"You find something?"

"Yeah." Kneeling down, your hand hovers over the metal and you're shocked when little lightning zaps between the tips of your fingers and the broken hammer. "Uhh.. stay back." You hold your hand over it, your eyes squinting when a glow starts to emanate between your palm and the broken hammer. Something, or rather someone, is whispering in your ear in a language you don't know.. but then it suddenly changes and you understand it completely.

"Y/N? Did you just fix Thor's hammer?"

Blinking in surprise, you yank back your hand and are shocked when Mjölnir sits there as if he were never broken. The whispering starts again and something overcomes you that puts you in a trance-like state. Grasping the shaft, you grip Mjölnir in hand and turn towards Bucky. His eyes widen and he takes a step back. 

"Whosoever holds this hammer, if she be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor."

"..okay?"

You thrust the hammer in the air and lightning strikes. Your senses seem to clear as you come back yourself, and dread fills you as you take in Bucky's startled expression. Glancing down at yourself, you groan when you see the Asgardian garb you're now wearing. "I'm totally Lady Thor. Like legit this time."

"What?" Bucky asks.

"The hammer," you mumble. "It was broken with Thor and I.. I somehow fixed it. Mjölnir is mine now. It's switched allegiances."

Bucky gulps. "So where's Thor?"

"That's a pretty damn good question, Barnes." Glancing around, you let your senses spread outward and concentrate on finding any familiar magicks lingering around. "I think he's gone off-world again. I don't sense him."

"Okay. We'll figure that out later. Right now we need to get back to the Tower, so change back to your normal clothes."

Suddenly blushing, you're grateful for the mask that covers your cheeks. "Uhh.." You chuckle nervously. "I don't know how."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. I can fly though," you muse, "even though I hate it. But I'm pretty sure riding on the back of your bike looking like this," you then say while gesturing to yourself, “is not a good idea.”

"Fine. Get back to the Tower and I'll meet you there."

"Okay." You start twirling Mjölnir in hand, calling out one last time to Bucky before you lift off. "One last thing, don't tell Pepper!"

For the next week you, Tony, Doctor Foster, and Doctor Banner work on trying to find any lead on Thor. After explaining to them what had happened, along with Bucky to offer any other details you skipped over, Bruce and Jane were quick to pull up readings from their computers to confirm that the bi-frost had indeed dropped someone off on Earth. And then picked them back up minutes later.

They were shocked to learn of the destruction of Mjölnir and then even more shocked when you told them the hammer was now yours after fixing it somehow. You couldn't exactly explain it to them, but they believed you when Bucky told them of what he saw with his own two eyes.

"You need to tell Pepper, kid. You can't hide this from her forever," Tony had told you once left alone.

"I know," you mumbled sadly. "Just.. give me a bit of time."

That bit of time ended up lasting yet another week, you being forced to come clean on the one day Pepper had off and the two of you had gone to your favorite pizzeria to enjoy some good grub.

Yet another alien invasion popped up in the city, but this time they were working alongside a group of humans. While Tony had called ahead to make sure you and Pepper were safe, he also told you to hunker down wherever you were at. Pepper had no problem listening to him, as did you, but you couldn't help the anxiety you felt at keeping out of the fight when you knew full well you could lend them a great helping hand.

Fortunately, or rather unfortunately for you, the group of humans working with the aliens shot up the pizzeria. There were screams and cries of anguish, and then your heart lodged in your throat when someone recognized Pepper. Crowing victoriously, they grabbed her by her hair and dragged her to her feet.

"Pepper!"

"Y/N, don't."

You’re pushed back as the men taunt Pepper, making promises to make Iron Man hurt over his lady love. Struggling against the men to get to your aunt, you're quickly backhanded and sent stumbling back.

"Y/N!"

Cupping the side of your face, you glare at the culprit who dared lay a hand on you before glaring at the man who has a grip on Pepper's shoulder and a rifle in the other hand to keep her in line. "You're going to pay for that," you seethe. Holding your right hand out to your side as inconspicuously as possible, you summon Mjölnir. You can feel his answering pull and then meet your aunt's worried gaze. "It's going to be okay. I'll make sure of it."

"Y/N, please don't do anything stupid," she pleads.

Hearing Mjölnir as he nears, you smirk. "Too late."

There's a deafening crash from where Mjölnir bursts through the wall and the moment he's gripped tight in hand you swing him at the man closest to you. The man holding Pepper gapes and you don't waste another second as you swing Mjölnir in a wide arc which then sends a bolt of lightning directly at the suspect's chest.

Pepper yelps as she scurries out of the way and you concentrate on clearing the intruders out of the pizzeria. As you're doing this, you don't see Pepper tap something on her watch nor the blue and silver Iron Man suit that envelops her body. It's only as you’re working on a small group of aliens that have decided to join the fight that several energy blasts finish off the aliens for you.

Whirling around, your eyebrows raise in surprise at the blue and silver feminine Iron Man. And then your eyes widen in shock as the face mask disappears thanks to Tony's new nano-tech and Pepper stares at you in wonder.

"Pepper?!"

"Y/N?!"

"Uhh.. I can explain."

"You better, young lady. But first, what do you say we help our boys and Nat take care of the city?"

Your wary expression suddenly turns confident. "I can do that." Then gripping the shaft of Mjölnir, you grin as he starts to glow and shoot off sparks of electricity. As you walk towards your aunt, you watch her eyes widen as your own outfit changes for battle. "So," you drawl as you near her, your cape fluttering about your body. "Apparently I'm Lady Thor now."

"I can see that. And you can call me Rescue when I'm dressed like this just so you know."

Iron Man lands in front of you, his own face mask disappearing as he stares in awe. "Okay," he gulps. "I can see you ladies can take care of yourselves."

"Damn right we can," you muse, grinning. "Need some help out there, Tones?"

"As a matter of fact," he says, leering at Pepper. "We can use the extra hands. So what do you say, Lady Thor and Rescue? Ready to have some fun?"

Pepper's face mask reappears over her face. "I thought you'd never stop talking."

Pepper zooms off into the sky and Tony chuckles as he watches her disappear. When he then looks to you, you start twirling Mjölnir in preparation for lift off. "Well the cat's out of the bag. See you after the fight."

Hovering in mid-air, you spot Bucky and Steve back to back as they fend off a horde of aliens. Gathering the lightning, you prepare to barrel back towards Earth and give your friends a helping hand.

After today, you know there's no going back. From now until you're suddenly deemed unworthy, you have a status to uphold as Lady Thor.

[phantombrushy]

Some Story Ideas

Because a couple of people were interested ( @weresilver-in-space and @trekkie-in-space in particular), I’ll list some fics I have sitting in my Drive that are basically just waiting to be written. Outside of Trek Wars and rewriting some works already posted to ao3 (and one that’s going to remain a secret for now), I’m not sure where I should start. Lemme know what you guys want to see the most!

Hold Your Head High | ST: AOS | Bones/OMC

The king’s hand on his was warm, but the sword he held in his grasp was cold and heavy by contrast, much like the burden that came with wielding such a weapon. Leonard didn’t know if he could do this.

The Enterprise is sent to an alien planet to ease negotiations between a kind King and the Federation. However, the away team find themselves swept up into a civil war they have no choice but to fight their way through in order to survive.

To The Ones Who Didn’t Deserve It | ST: AOS | Gen

This is a story about how anger and hate can destroy us from the inside like a parasite. How it can take hold and never let go, even when we’re too tired and want it gone from our lives.

This is a story about how a combination of simple decisions could destroy someone’s life. How it may seem like nothing to the person making it, but could mean everything to the person left helpless in its wake.

This is a story about how, no matter what happens, there’s still a chance to fix things. That there’s still a chance to make things right with the people who need it the most.

It just won’t be easy.

Things after Khan went differently. The admiralty didn’t take kindly to Leonard taking matters into his own hands. Booted from the ‘Fleet and with no hospital or clinic willing to take him on with the new black mark on his record, he’s forced to go back to his hometown, where they have no issue treating him like a pariah. Jim tries to reconnect after the five-year mission, but after so many years out of contact, Leonard is too bitter and angry to let him past the walls he’d built.

Domesticity 101 for Starfleet Officers and Ex-Hitmen | ST: AOS/Polar | Bones/Duncan Vizla

Duncan Vizla, known only as Hälje Overgård to some, thought he had come to terms with the decision to leave Leonard behind on the Enterprise. It was to keep him safe; he’d be fine without him. And he kept telling himself that the longer he was around that man, the softer he’d get.

The Black Kaiser couldn’t afford distractions.

But then someone new moves into the cabin across the lake, a cane in his hand and a familiar scowl to his lips.

A two-part installation following the trials that come with Leonard and Duncan’s relationship. In the first installation, The North, Leonard and Hälje (Duncan’s alias) are forced to try a survive the arctic winters of a planet they crash land on. For reasons, Leonard acquires a permanent injury and they both fall out of contact when they’re saved. In the second installation, Fatally, Leonard and Duncan are thrown back together by chance and try to navigate a relationship that threatens both of their lives.

A Spoken Word | ST: AOS/Crimes of Grindelwald | McKirk

Power beyond comprehension and belief was just sitting inside him, dormant. Leonard was sick of feeling helpless, and he’d do whatever it took to tap into the magic thrumming in his veins.

Even if that meant becoming a monster.

Negotiations always go wrong when the Enterprise is involved. During an attack, both Jim and Leonard discover that there’s magic in them, but the  Ministère des Affaires Magiques de la France find something ‘off’ with Leonard’s magic, driving him straight to the arms of Grindelwald himself.

It Is Not Death To Die | ST: AOS | Gen

Hallowed be the names of those who fall with a sword in their hand and courage in their hearts.

During negotiations (see a common theme?) with a planet housing invaluable minerals for Federation technology, the away team finds themselves in the middle of a civil war. Ordered by the admiralty to offer whatever aid possible, Leonard struggles to find hope in the situation.

Ash & Ruin | ST: AOS/DOOM | Gen

The last thing John remembered was going under for the memory wipe, intent on leaving his life of violence and death behind. Decades later, he’s awake, naked and covered in bloody, glowing runes, with Dr. Samuel Hayden hovering over him.

The demons were back.

Expansion and continuation of my one-shot Ruin. Leonard, now only responding to John after his memories resurface, is forced to work with the UAC one last time to neutralise the demon threat.

An Autopsy of Guilt | ST: AOS | McKirk

Before Bones, nothing made sense. He became his rock; his everything. Marrying him had been the best decision he had ever made.

Then someone had to kill him in cold blood.

And Jim would rather die than let them get away with it.

Leonard is brutally murdered. There are no witnesses and what little evidence there is offers next to no leads. With a desperation that’s almost suffocating, Jim teams up with an investigative team on Starbase VII to find and hunt down the cold-blooded killer while trying to keep himself from drowning in his memories.

Survivor | ST: AOS/Tomb Raider | Gen

Crofts were always strong. They did what was right, and were always the better for it.

They were also notorious trouble magnets, and by God, Leonard should’ve expected that.

Leonard’s complicated past comes back to bite him when the ship is sent to investigate an abandoned colony on a dead planet. While trying to live up to a legacy he never wanted, Leonard hurries to stay a step ahead against both Trinity and Section 31, unravelling the secrets buried underneath the ice and snow.

Dereliction | ST: AOS/MCU | Bones/Hela

There must come a time where the heroes are no longer the good people we want them to be.

Abandoned by his crew and left dying alone on a dead planet, Leonard - in a fit of deperation - turns to ‘divine’ assitance in order to survive, binding himself to the Norse Goddess of Death. When the Enterprise returns a couple of years later, Thor on their heels, they find themselves having to survive the bitter and angry force that now resides on the planet, calling for their blood to water the soil.

Not Your ‘Bones’ | ST: AOS | Gen

The… thing before him looked like Bones. It even sounded like him.

But that’s where the similarities ended. Because when Jim looked into those cold, almost dead eyes, he saw nothing of his friend in their endless depths. Spock’s grip on his arm tightened, as if sensing and sharing his disquietude.

This was not the Bones they knew.

What had he done?

Taking inspiration from films like Ghost in the Shell, Alita: Battle Angel, The Fifth Element, and RoboCop, negotiations on an alien planet go awry when terrorists from a neighbouring world attack. Suffering a fatal blow, the locals perform emergency surgery to save his life. But he’s changed, and Jim isn’t entirely convinced it’s for the better. Meanwhile, an amnesiac Leonard tries desperately to work with a crew he’s told he’s worked with for years, forgotten memories haunting the shadows around him.

[fanfictionasliterature]

Kakagai Fic Rec List

Wanna start my blog off with the best ship. Promising 20+ fic with at least 1 outside of ao3, organized links, and summaries.

First, I recommend anything by forgetme. Specifically, try:

For a sort of melancholic, nostalgic, soft feel, 敬老の日

Summary: At thirty-seven Kakashi is starting to feel old.

Notes: Short, sweet, and feeling like the writer is smarter than I’ll ever be, which is just how I like it.

For romance that hurts, Technological Progress

Summary: Kakashi makes a phone call.

Notes: A rare fluff piece from this writer

For emotional pain, Atë

Summary: Hindsight is 20/20.

Notes: The great thing about being in a fandom where the source material is aggressively mediocre is that fanfic writers are often better than the original. This fic is the perfect example. It delves deeper and more honestly into Kakashi’s character than Kishimoto ever did, and doesn’t pause to give him, or the reader, a break.

A great take on the classic amnesia trope, Still life in pale blue

Summary: A day in the life of war veterans.

Notes: A great Gai point-of-view! Understands Kishimoto’s intentions better than he can.

Note that they haven’t transferred all their fic from fanfiction.net where they are thisloser

The history has its eyes on you series by tasalmalin.

Summary: This five-part series is a Kakashi-centric time travel fix-it. It starts out pretty dark, but the real heart of the story is one of healing, and there are happy endings on the horizon. Specific warnings are included with each chapter.

Notes: I’ve reread this series countless times. I normally hate time travel fix-its, but trust me, this one makes up for all those times you’ve read one that’s fizzled out or disappointed. It never loses focus, and always stays true to Kakashi’s character. The first two stories are pretty fucking angsty, though, so those who want to skip to the fixing might want to start with the third story, I know that we can win.

Everything by maldoror, who has sadly only written two kkg fic. That said, I recommend her other Naruto work too.

For a little pick-me-up, Break in the Routine

Summary: Kakashi had heard people complain about 'routine', calling it humdrum and boring. For Kakashi, routine meant that nobody was actively trying to kill him and there were no missions that day. Routine was good. An implausible green and orange streak vaulted over the iron fence and darted off a cherry tree, causing a dramatic shower of petals around him as he hit the ground. Gai, showing up for his regular challenge. Yup, still routine...Until Gai told him what he was challenging Kakashi at this time.

Notes: This fic has been recommended again and again, but what the heck. It makes me feel better every single time I read it.

For something thoughtful, Descent

Summary: A and S rank missions are killers - especially the kind Tsunade hands out since she's been made Godaime. Kakashi has handled some pretty rough ones over the years with his teams, wow, he could tell you stories...But his team is gone. He's no longer a Jounin-sensei and he no longer has to watch over a bunch of brats. Now his missions are ANBU level.ANBU missions are different. The view through that mask is narrow. There is nothing to protect, only targets to kill. There is no mercy, no regret, no remorse. No prisoners. It's very simple, really. Considerably simpler than being a Jounin-sensei. If only Gai didn't insist on joining his rival/friend/partner around on these, it'd be simpler still. (Timeline: short time after Sasuke's defection)

Notes: Not as easy to read, but in the good way. Has a wonderful Lee.

Good Lives by the great jibrailis

Summary: Gai accidentally becomes first lady of Konoha.

Notes: Lighthearted. This fic perfectly outlines what Kakashi and Gai deserved.

Mending Fists by cranes

Summary: Strangely enough, it's Kakashi who suggests they resume the challenges after the war.

Notes: It’s honestly so fucking cute.

the dew is never all dried at once by ohdeariemegoodness

Summary: Somehow, Kakashi gets his happy ending.  He also gets kidnapped.  Fortunately, Kakashi makes a great damsel in distress.

Notes: This fic is what it would look like if Kakashi could actually get some emotional closure. Reading it is bittersweet, because it makes me resent canon.

Definitely not a Love Story by tuesdayfic (tuesday)

Summary: Guy woos Kakashi. Kakashi is not exactly appreciative of his efforts. Neither is most anyone else in the village, except those who are laughing. They are sadly numerous.

Notes: The fic ends with a cameo by Iruka, which makes me wonder, is that a nod to the ever popular Kakashi/Iruka ship that makes no sense? I also love tuesday’s other works as well, though this is definitely my favorite.

Afternoon Tea by 100demons

Summary: Kakashi and Gai try to figure out what happens next.

Notes: This fic is good, but honestly mostly here to encourage people to read all of 100demons’s work.

The Best Is Yet To Come by alestar

Summary: Kakashi has spent nearly his entire life in a freefall state, bracing himself for impact, turning his body to absorb the blow and land on his feet. Now in his early thirties he finds the rapid winds of gravity dying down around him. He finds himself crouching on solid ground. A moment of disorientation, followed by what?

Notes: It’s a little sad how relatable this fic is. 

Last but not least, A Tree Called Life by mostlyharmless

Summary: Years after the war, the shinobi world is experiencing a new kind of peace. Kakashi and Guy are enjoying some time off after a mission, until Guy decides he is ready for the next step in their relationship: moving in together.

Notes: Funny. The Sai in here is particularly great.

Honorable mentions:

Helping Hands by desolate butterfly: [KakaGai, gen]  Gai can see underneath the underneath.  It's a habit he had to pick up to take on the role of Kakashi's eternal rival.

Anniversary by kimi no vanilla: The things we do to ourselves when no one is watching. The things we watch because we cannot bear to look away. Kakashi from Gai's POV.

Only Ever You by Chrononautical: Eternity isn't just for rivals.

Monster by chibi_zoe: Trust Gai to have an over the top name for a certain common morning problem.

More Than Puppy Love by thekatthatbarks: “Kakashi, you haven’t….always had…?” Gai asked him, looking at a loss for words. “What’re you talking about?” Kakashi cocked an eyebrow at him, annoyed at his vagueness. He put one of his own fingers in his mouth and probed at his teeth, trying to see what was wrong. His hand stopped when he felt the pointy tips. He looked at Gai incredulously and moved his fingers around inside his mouth. It almost felt like…canines?

Every Little Bit of It by slash4femme: Kakashi knows before the day even starts that it is going to be a bad pain day. Not for him but for Gai.

PS If I missed a fic or you want me to remove your fanfic from this list, please let me know.

[maychorian]

Weekly Voltron Fic Recs #54

A little shorter this week. I took some vacation days and did a lot of other stuff besides reading fanfiction, because yeah, ironically, I read the most fanfiction when I’m at work.

Rules: You can find past weekly rec lists here, and non-list recs in my general fic rec tag. Also follow @maychorianrecs for individually tagged posts, the easier to search and reblog. This is stuff I like, and I have a huge bias toward Lance, hurt/comfort, and general fluff, in that order. Gen unless otherwise noted. Please comment on the fics if you read and enjoy them!

Know Yourself by exclamation Words: 28,139 Author’s Summary: In trying to reconnect to the black lion, Shiro makes a worrying discovery: he might not really be Shiro. Suspecting that he might be a clone, Shiro decides to go on a mission back to the Galra science base where he was held captive. He’s not ready to tell the others what he suspects yet, but when Matt catches him sneaking out of the castle, it’s clear he’s not going on this mission alone. Shiro has to find out what was done to him, and if there is another version of him out there in need of saving. My Comments: Excellent exploration of the Shiro clone theory with some awesome plot twists, great characterization, and powerful action scenes. I really enjoyed this a lot.

The Christmas Episode by FunkyWashingMachine Words: 1,422 Author’s Summary: It’s Christmas on the castle ship, and no one loves it more than Lance. To his slight dismay. My Comments: Sweet and funny and just a little angsty. Lance deserves a happy Christmas, for sure.

Precious Cargo by LightPinkTheColorOfMyAura Words: 5,315 Author’s Summary: The team is tasked with rescuing an alien princess. Pidge and the others are not very excited to watch Lance fall all over himself for a pretty girl, so they decide to keep him…busy. When their plan falls through and they find someone unexpected, Lance pulls through like they should have expected. My Comments: Sweet, a little angsty, very cute. I don’t wanna spoil the twist, but it’s good. I enjoyed this very much.

Beacon by glitteringconstellations Words: 21,863 (6/?) Author’s Summary: An emergency mission to answer a distress call wasn’t unusual. The urgency in Allura’s voice wasn’t necessarily unusual, either—she was very much of the mind that Voltron was obligated to answer every single distress callbrought to their attention. Being the defender of the known universe came with a certain number of responsibilities, after all. But seeing the pinched, pale look on both Allura and Coran’s faces when they converged on the bridge was unusual. “The universe is vast even in terms of those planets still yet beyond the grips of the Galra. But…. the distress call came from the Terra Firma Quadrant.” Earth. My Comments: This story is absolutely harrowing, evoking all kinds of horrific things from Earth’s past, but on a global scale. Really, really, amazingly good. Very suspenseful and exciting, and it’s very cool to find a story not quite like any other Voltron fanfic I’ve read. Highly recommended if you can stand some pain.

Breathe by SuperKat Words: 2,192 Author’s Summary: The first wave of panic hits Keith out of nowhere. One second, Lance is “catching him up” on everything that’s happened since he left Voltron, and the next second Keith has a flash of memory – the two of them, walking through this hall, talking and bantering, just like this – and suddenly his breath leaves him. My Comments: I have a soft spot for someone having a panic attack and someone else talking them through, as anyone who has read my stuff will know. This was a great one.

Christmas on the Castleship by slowbronite Words: 1,939 Author’s Summary: The team raids the Space Mall’s Earth store for Christmas decor and subsequently freaks Coran out with the concept of Santa Claus. My Comments: Very cute fic with a slight focus on Coran that I really enjoyed. Happy paladins are always good to see.

War Games by FunkyWashingMachine Words: 2,160 Author’s Summary: The paladins build opposing pillow forts and declare war. Shiro is both liaison and collateral. My Comments: So cute and funny, gah, it’s wonderful to see the kids enjoying themselves. I’m pretty sure Shiro was pretending to be neutral just play off both sides, though, sneaky.

fight in the ring by ebonynightwriter Words: 2,605 Author’s Summary: When a rescue mission goes south, Allura and the team find themselves in a hard situation. // “Wait, Shiro’s the Champion?! Since when?” My Comments: Very cool little action fic.

Geslorp’s House of Terrors by AmnesiaticRoses Words: 6,815 Author’s Summary: Lance is excited when Hunk agrees to visit a carnival-style space haunted house with him. The haunted house should be fun, and Hunk’s reactions should be funny. But Lance forgot to account for the power of technological curiosity… My Comments: Cute fic with my favorite boys having an adventure together. It kind of backfires on Lance, haha.

Plundered Plumage by Quiddity Words: 5,374 Author’s Summary: Something odd crashes to the deck of the ship during a sudden storm. An avian. More common than their siren cousins, but stil rarely seen and never captured. Until now. Captain Sendak wastes no time in securing the exhausted avian, Shiro, intent on handing him over to the Pirate King Zarkon for his own gain. However, Keith, sold to Zarkon as a slave as a child and forced into a life of piracy, just might have trouble sitting back and allowing that to happen. My Comments: Really fun Pirate AU with Keith taking a big, big risk to save Shiro. The fic is short, but the world feels fully realized, and I loved the cameos from the other characters.

Rebuild all your Ruins by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) Words: 6,074 Author’s Summary: There are consequences to Shiro’s refusal to kill. Pain hasn’t worked on him so far, but another tactic might. My Comments: This is hurt with no comfort, so know what you’re getting into. Awful stuff, but very well-written, as always.

Where the Heart Is by SmolGooDragon Words: 5,153 Author’s Summary: Lance has graduated from the Garrison at the top of his class, and will be leaving for a mission to space in a few weeks. He’s happy to be with his family and everything is going perfectly, but he feels like there’s something he can’t quite remember… like something’s missing. My Comments: Starts out as Lance going home to see his family, but there’s a twist! A good one! I don’t wanna spoil it. Just read the fic. If you like the hurt!Lance recs I typically post here, you will love this story.

Don’t Forget to Call Home by isabeau25 Words: 8,827 Author’s Summary: Just because Keith has decided to join the Blades of Marmora, doesn’t mean the team is going to let him disappear from their lives. My Comments: Absolutely beautiful fic about the other paladins keeping in contact with Keith while he’s away in Season Four. I especially loved Lance here; isabeau25 always writes Lance so very, very well. But everyone else was wonderful too. The end scene, after Keith’s nearly disastrous decision, is especially warm and comforting. So, so good.

Burning Bright by IcyPanther Words: 9,693 Author’s Summary: Last chance, they told him. If this family didn’t work out then it was back to the group home for him. And as much as Keith disliked the foster system, he hated the group home. He’d endure anything life threw at him to avoid going back. But when he meets Shiro, Keith realizes that, perhaps, there’s more to life than just enduring. His world is about to become a whole lot brighter. My Comments: Heartbreaking and heartwarming backstory for Keith and Shiro that matches up with my personal headcanons very nicely. I really felt everything Keith was going through, from the despair to the pain to the dawning pleasure and ultimate joy. So good, so satisfying, I just love it.

Seven Vargas by VelkynKarma for buttered_onions Words: 18,006 Author’s Summary: Shiro has a bad habit of disappearing unexpectedly. But the team really should have anticipated it this time, with him being the most wanted person on the planet. My Comments: This is a thrilling read of the action/adventure type, but with a healthy dollop of pathos, too. Shiro has a really rough time of it, but it was great to see him constantly fighting to get himself free by whatever means he could, and of course the others’ frantic need to find him and rescue was lovely.

Signals From Space by Eastofthemoon Words: 3,814 Author’s Summary: Fame spreads farther than anyone could have known. My Comments: Lance’s family is sweet and funny and perfect, and this is a delightful way for them to find out that Lance is alive. The final chapter was especially heartwarming.

reprise, refrain by obstinateRixatrix Words: 8,180 Author’s Summary: When the castle picks up an Altean distress signal, Allura desperately hopes to find surviving Alteans. She does - just not in the way she was expecting. My Comments: I like the canon version of this episode just fine, but this is also a very fun alternate take, and much easier on Allura’s heart, I think. All of the OCs are delightful.

What Happens Under a Full Moon by imperiality Words: 9,136 Author’s Summary: When Lance accidentally partakes in a new planet’s ritual under their greatest full moon, the paladins have to find out how to reverse his spell. Or, he could have just taken off the mask to begin with. My Comments: Fantastic worldbuilding here, very immersive and enjoyable to read. It’s like taking a journey, traveling with Lance through this exciting festival he enjoys so much. And the solution to the trouble he finds himself in made me very, very happy.

Previously Recced Fics That Updated:

The Purity of Sin (22254 words) Home and a Half (109291 words) As Color Fades Away (217819 words) Gate Keeper (119177 words) Why it sucks to be a snake in space(59933 words)

[whipplefilter]

Can you make some kind of cute fic with Ryan Laney in it? I dunno, just something with him doing something cute like he is with those cute teal eyes!! (I'm using cute too much x3) I saw he is your new 2nd fav next gen after Jackson, so, I thought I'd ask! :)

The Next-Gens are all about their racing simulators, sure. But I love the idea of some of them playing like, distinctly nerdy non-competitive, non-action-based games. XD The game Ryan and his mysterious friend 2020 are playing in this fic is like… some weird cross between Animal Crossing, Harvest Moon, Star Wars, and Age of Empires. XD

Fic: 2020

Ryan Laney has a secret.

At 9PM on Fridays, Ryan winds down from practice by logging in to his favorite video game. It’s an MMORPG–and no, it has nothing to do with racing. At 9PM on Fridays, Ryan’s not a professional racer. He’s a moisture farmer on Tatooine.

His goals are simple: Farm enough moisture to make a decent living; maybe send his nephew to college. Find a girl. Level high enough to build that bomb shelter so he can survive the airstrike in Level 5 (something he has failed multiple times now).

“I’m telling you, I don’t think it’s possible to buy the Mega Drill and then have enough credits left over to not starve to death. You can’t get the shelter unless you co-invest. We need to team up,” he says over his headset.

“It’s possible. You just have to play a perfect game.” says another player–Hindsight2020. Right now it’s just Ryan and six other guys on Tatooine, and the other guys have their mics turned off. It’s not exactly the most popular game.

“Okay, but that’s stupid. Why would you run the same level for 50 hours just to figure out how to get a perfect score, just to get this dumb bomb shelter? If you give 500 and I give 500 we can just buy it right now and move on to Level 6!” Ryan counters.

“So perfection is stupid? That explains a lot about you.”

“I’m just talking about straight-up efficiency, man. Besides, we’re moisture farmers. The whole point is to work together.”

“You know that transport that crashed back in Level 3? I salvaged radioactive lead from it. I could contaminate your whole mine if I wanted to.”

“Cool,” says Ryan. “Go for it.”

Hindsight2020 farms some moisture. He re-tarps his garage. He adds a sand sculpture to his front yard. He doesn’t poison anything. Because if he takes Ryan out, it’s just him and six boring dudes–one of whom is building a sand castle so large he definitely has to be pouring real money into this dumb game.

Frankly, Ryan’s surprised Hindsight2020 hasn’t dropped some cash into it, just to show castle guy up. Ryan knows he’s got the finances, and he’s definitely not lacking for spite.

“Did you read the new rules package yet? The new aero specs look good; I’m pretty stoked,” Ryan says to 2020.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” 2020 replies.

“Okay.”

Ryan barters some moisture for clay from a neighboring planet. He’s planning to retrofit his well. If you’re gonna play a perfect game, he figures, he’s going to have to level up his well.

“Can I trade you for some of that?” asks 2020.

“Whatever,” says Ryan. But he flips to the trade screen to see what 2020’s offering.

500 credits.

For a bit of clay that’s probably worth half that, at best.

With an extra 500 credits in the bank, Ryan’s got his bomb shelter.

Ryan’s never really thought about what his fellow players look like, on their side of the screen. One of the things he likes about this game is that it doesn’t matter who you are: On Tatooine, you’re all moisture farmers. But he wishes 2020 could see his face right now. He doesn’t have words to convey his surprise.

He clicks ‘Accept.’

Within minutes, Ryan’s got the bomb shelter that will save his life about half a level from now, and for the first time ever, he’ll finally get to see Level 6. Rumor has it the Trade Ship starts selling new kinds of drillbits, which is exciting.

Ryan scrolls to the other side of the planet, where 2020’s farm is. He’s redone his roof yet again. With the clay, he’s made himself a patio painted xylophone colors. It’s…nice, Ryan supposes, but 2020 obviously knows it’s all about to be obliterated. He knows that air raid’s coming.

When 2020 notices Ryan’s cursor hovering over his house, he says, “Watch this,” and starts clicking the tiles. For the first few seconds, it’s just a mess of noise.

Then it’s Doo-DOO-do-do-do-DOOOO-do do-do-do-DOO-do dodododo-doooooooo. Which is still basically a mess of noise, but it’s a mess of noise Ryan instantly recognizes as ‘Star-Wars-theme-played-on-tile-xylophone.’ It’s pretty freaking awesome.

“What happened to ‘play a perfect game?’” Ryan laughs. “Dude, this is amazing! You’re amazing.”

“It’s just a stupid game,” says 2020.

Five minutes later, Level 5’s air raid comes and Ryan is safe in his bomb shelter and 2020’s xylophone house burns to the ground. Ryan doesn’t have to put the fire out–it’s a waste of water, frankly, and it’s not like it’ll bring 2020 back; Game Over in this game is Game Over. He does anyway, though.

On Sunday, Ryan Laney is racing for third. More specifically, Cruz is racing for third. Ryan’s caught in her dirty air, and is flopping all over the freaking place. Ryan can’t hear the announcers, but he’s sure they’re having an absolute field day with this. He feels more like a flag than he does a car that’s ever gonna win one.

Then something tags his back bumper. Just a tap at first, then sustained contact, shoving him up the field. The added momentum settles him some, and he finds his line again. His speedometer crawls 1mph faster, 3 mph faster. It’s not much, but it’s enough.

It’s Storm behind him.

The second Ryan noses past Cruz, takes the angle from her and drops her back to fifth, Storm lets up off Ryan’s back and passes him easily. But now that he’s out of Cruz’s air, Ryan’s got third in the bag. It’ll be his highest finish all season, and Storm knows it.

“Dude, what’s with you and Storm?” Bubba asks him after the race. “Lap 290, he was totally helping you out.”

Ryan brushes him off. “I dunno, man. He hates Cruz; I was a convenient prop. It’s not like it kept him from beating my butt afterward. Storm’s just a weird… weird strategic mastermind dude.”

“Whatever you say.” Bubba keeps an eye on Storm, who’s fielding an interview on the other side of pit row.

“You jealous?” Ryan teases. “Don’t worry. You’ll always be my #1, Bubs.”

It’s Friday again, and Ryan logs into his moisture farm on Tatooine again.

2020’s there, too.

“Hey man,” greets Ryan. “Thanks for the bump-draft the other day.”

“You keep saying stuff like it’s supposed to mean something,” says 2020. “I’m not your diary. I don’t care about your life. Are we gonna split the bomb shelter this time or what?”

Ryan grins. “Sure thing, 20. Can you do that xylophone thing again? But like, inside the shelter this time?”

“I don’t do encores,” says 2020. “Watch this, though.”

2020’s a freaking showoff, but Ryan doesn’t mind.

Ryan Laney has a secret.

[amillionsmiles]

end of year fic meme

tagged by @hailkuvira ; thanks so much, this was fun! (and inspired me to bust out the excel spreadsheets, LOL)

tagging @spacetravels , @sp4c3-0ddity , @anakkin , @leejinkih  + anyone else who would like to have fun w. this

STATS:

Fics posted:

Tumblr exclusives: just going to direct to my masterlists tag, tbh

FF.Net: like we’re made of starlight (TATBILB, 2148 words) are you having fun yet? (i’ll send you the sunset)  (Big Hero 6, 9302 words)

Archive of Our Own: just the lonely talking (The Last Jedi, 1521 words) dj got us falling in love again (Voltron, 5342 words) want your bad romance (Voltron, 2010 words) your hair was long when we first met (Voltron, 7339 words) quantum mechanics, smirks, and other complications of the universe (Voltron, 2501 words) is that a hermit crab in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? (Voltron, 1840 words) you’re deriving me crazy (Voltron, 6928 words) in the nook of a cousin universe (Voltron, 13441 words) head in the game (Voltron, 7804 words) The Future’s Open Wide (Voltron, 14500 words) you only live forever in the lights you make (Voltron, 1485 words) come out your way (Scarlet Heart Ryeo, 3446 words)

Total number: 14, plus tumblr Total word count: 89,174 

Ship/Character breakdown: Ship breakdown: for Voltron, 14 Plance, 6 Sheith, 1 Hance. Big Hero 6 was my usual Tomadashi, TATBILB was Covinsky, The Last Jedi was just Tico sisters feelings, so Gen. Character breakdown: Lots of Pidge, Keith, Lance, and Shiro POVs

Characters that had the main focus: My fave Pidge got a lot of spotlight this year, and I wrote more Lance POV than I thought I would, which was fun!  Besides that, Keith gets the narrator role for most of my Sheith fics, per usual.

Specifics:

Best/worst title? Best title: I’m not even ashamed to admit it because I have the humor of a teenage boy, but is that a hermit crab in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? was definitely my favorite, though it loses some points for being a mouthful, I guess. 2nd place would go to you’re deriving me crazy for the three-way pun. Worst title: come out your way is kind of nebulous I guess

Best/worst first line? Best: i am become blade     “A knife is a close-range weapon.  This is the first thing Keith learns, before the Garrison, before Voltron, before the Blade.”

Worst: welp, this is making me realize that almost all my fics start with just a single line of dialogue. I guess are you having fun yet? (i’ll send you the sunset) which just begins with: “I’m here! I’m here!” Best/worst last line? Best: you only live forever in the lights you make

“Sorry,” murmurs Shiro, but there’s little remorse in it, just a smile pressed against Keith’s temple, a buzzer going off in Keith’s head.  A knee between his legs, their bodies aligning, and Keith thinks of that moment of grace when he releases the ball from his hands, watching it arc away from him with a held breath—and when Shiro finally, finally kisses him, it’s bleachers full of people rising to their feet, the thunderous roar of a crowd, the sweetest of sighs as the ball tumbles, headlong, through the net. 

In case anyone hasn’t picked up on it yet, my heart will always beat for basketball and I think this paragraph really captures the feeling it gives, plus the Sheith kiss doesn’t hurt :’) 

Worst: come out your way       “And she smiles back.” I mean, it works for the two characters and where they are at this specific moment, but it’s not particularly insightful or creative, so I do wish I could have done a little more.

General questions:

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted? I think more! I thought it would be much more slow-going because of college, but going through this reflection has made me realize that I still managed to squeeze stuff in when I got bitten by the writing bug. 

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year? God, this was the year of the Plance Plance Revolution. I remember @flusteredkeith texting me about Plance in like May or something of this year and at the time I was still like “oh that sounds cute” but probs wouldn’t actively ship it myself but now.... here we are....  oh worm What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest. My entire ball’s in your court verse, tbh, particularly the Pidge and Lance segments. More to come! :) 

Okay, NOW your most popular story. On tumblr, hold it against me got the most notes. On Ao3, in the nook of a cousin universe has the most hits and bookmarks, while hermit crab has the most kudos.

Story most underappreciated by the universe? My Hunk/Lance Sky High AU, tbh. I had so much fun writing it and was a little sad to see it sent off into the void, but Hance is a rarepair to begin with so I guess that was to be expected.

Story that could have been better? just the lonely talking; I really want to do more with the Tico sisters and their backstories but tbh I’m still not as informed about the Star Wars-verse as I’d like to be so a lot of the fic was just *waves hands*  Maybe another time I’ll take a different stab at it.

Sexiest story? I’m vanilla af but I guess things get semi-steamy at the end of hermit crab, if you ignore the fact that the entire fic reads like a shitpost  Saddest story? in the nook of a cousin universe. I mean, it’s a Kimi no na Wa AU, so that was kind of a given ;) Most fun? want your bad romance far and away. spin classes are something else, y’all Story with single sweetest moment? you’re deriving me crazy wins hands-down for best snuggles and cuddles all around. 

Raising an eyebrow, Lance smirks, moving to the edge of her bed.  Feet planted on the carpet, he pats his knee.

“C’mere.”

“What are you trying to do?” Pidge asks suspiciously, but she goes anyways.

“Nothing.” Feigning innocence, Lance hooks her by the belt loops, pulling her closer into the cradle of his hips.  His legs bracket her on either side, and she laces her fingers behind his neck, waiting.  It’s an old game between them, this process of making him come to her; Lance tilts his head back, smiling, and Pidge rolls her eyes, bending a little to meet him—

—only for him to snake an arm around her waist and tip her sideways onto the bed.

“Lance!” yelps Pidge, her bedsprings squeaking under their weight as they fall onto the mattress.  She means to say more—something about how he’s a dirty sneak, but that gets swallowed by laughter when he starts tickling her, going straight for her neck.

“I—hate—you,” she gasps, squirming as she tries to bat his hands away.  Eventually, she manages to get a leg around his middle and rolls them over, though Pidge suspects it only happens so easily because Lance is happy to yield.  She ends up sitting on his waist, his chest rising and falling gently under her hands.

Hardest story to write? in the nook of a cousin universe, bc plotting was hell, and then also by virtue of it being a commission I felt doubly self-conscious about everything. But it was worth it in the end :)

Easiest/most fun story to write? want your bad romance because half of it happened to me in real life

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters? My Hunk/Lance Sky High AU actually got me to see how the Hunk/Keith dynamic could play out, surprisingly, which was a fun revelation to have. And then writing Pidge/Lance has made me fall back in love with Lance as a character, just realizing how genuinely good and fun and sweet he is.  

Most overdue story? are you having fun yet? (i’ll send you the sunset)  This fic had literally been languishing in my drafts for over a year and a half, and that’s not counting the first seeds of inspiration for it, which had been around way before that. It felt really good to finally get it done. :)

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? This summer was the first time I opened myself up to commissions, and I was pleasantly surprised and honored by the response, so maybe I’ll make it an every summer thing.  I think taking commissions definitely taught me to approach writing with more discipline, which was nice.  I also branched more into “crack” fic and found it extremely enjoyable, so here’s to more of those.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

Take more writing prompts, and train myself to treat them as prompts instead of feeling the need to develop a whole full-length fic around it.

Finish your hair was long when we first met

Write more rarepairs for Voltron (heith and kidge are next on my list)

Start my Hogwarts series 

Basketball-verse Plance Part 3 B)

[renaroo]

The Search (4/16)

Disclaimer: Red vs Blue and related characters are the property of Rooster Teeth. Warnings: Language, Canon-typical violence, Psychological manipulation and trauma Rating: T Synopsis: [Canon Divergence - Alternate S15] The Reds and Blues saved Chorus, but it has been a year and they are still missing. A motley crew has been gathered with the common goal of finding the war heroes, though the road is more troubled than anyone seems to realize.

A/N: Wooooo getting this one in on the wire! Lots of fun stuff in this chapter, mostly to do with character, so I hope you all enjoy ; ) 

Special thanks to @analiarvb, @secretlystephaniebrown, @cobaltqueen, Yin, @notatroll7, and JP for the comments and feedback!

This fic seems to attract the weirdest comments, so to the guest who shared their... concerns about this fic maybe trying to sneak into the dreaded, horrible, unforgiveable realm of being a Tuckington fic, I... don’t know where you came to that conclusion. Especially on a fic that is... gen... and... doesn’t have Tucker featured as a main character at all. And didn’t list the pairing. Or anything. But you’re wrong. Not because you’re right but because you, as a person, are just wrong. Hope that clears up any of your concerns. 

Family Affairs

As much as Washington just loved to point out how much he hated it — and boy did he — Kaikaina slipped the ship into autopilot, set for their course as FILSS directed it. After all, FILSS sounded and acted a whole lot like Sheila, and they trusted Sheila to man a tank by herself, so Kai figured what the fuck and trusted FILSS with their ship.

After all, they had stolen it. It’s not like Kaikaina had some magical connection to a ship that a computer wouldn’t. She just knew she had to get out of Blood Gulch and find her brother after seeing Church’s big damn transmission to everyone.

It was kinda like a great middle finger to the UNSC. But also confusing, because Kai was fairly certain she was never aware of more than half of any story at any one time. And the Reds and Blues had lots of fucking stories she needed to catch up on.

Hell, she barely knew who Carolina was, and supposedly she’d been around for years!

With a sigh, Kaikaina leaned back in the pilot’s seat and kicked up her feet to the console. Her arms folded behind her mess of hair and she looked out toward the stars around them.

Her brother was still out there. Somewhere.

There were a few heavy footsteps and a chortling noise that only kind of got Kai’s attention from the beautiful space scenery around them. She didn’t fully turn to look and confirm that it was Junior approaching until the alien-dog-human-baby was almost at the console.

Junior looked out into the stars with his dark, soulful eyes, and then leaned in until his mandibles were resting against the smooth top of the console.

“Hey, you,” Kai finally said, tilting her nearest foot just enough that the tip of her boot nudged Junior’s snout. “You just gonna walk up and invade my space without saying at least hello? Rude. Doesn’t your sexy dad teach you nothing?”

With a rattling of his rows of teeth Junior seemed to grumble a low few blarghs at her. Even if she was an expert in Sangheili, though, it was not anything she would’ve been able to make out over the rumble of the ship.

“Rude,” she said all the same, yawning. “Oh my eff, is it like… late or something? Shouldn’t you be in bed?” she asked, swiveling her seat enough to face Junior more completely. “If Washington comes up here and starts yelling at me because you’re not supposed to be awake right now, I’m so going to throw your little butt to the wolves. The Wash wolves. Which I hear are the worst kind of wolves. And it’s not gonna be, like, anything personal. But a girl’s not been yelled at for a few hours or arrested, so I’ve gotta protect my luck.”

To that, Junior tilted his head and let out another series of low rumbles.

“Do you kiss your father with that mouth?” she asked him critically just before the cockpit door opened again.

Fo a moment, Kai’s heart leaped in her chest as the fear of it actually being Wash and her getting her ass chewed again became a momentary reality. But instead she breathed a heavy sigh of relief and resettled in her seat, eyes sliding closed.

It was only Doctor Grey, after all.

“Yo, Doc!” Kai said with her eyes closed, fist bumping the air.

“Good evening, Kaikaina. Lavernius Junior,” Grey replied cordially.

Junior stood up straight and greeted the doctor with a formal honk.

“You making another collect call, Doc?” Kai asked curiously, though not too curiously so as to not lose the sense of her cool. “Or are you finally gonna give me that physical and make me show off the mole on my butt cheek?”

“I’m contacting Chorus again, Private Grif,” she answered before hesitating and looking at Kaikaina questioningly. “I read your medical records and saw no mention of such a mole.”

“What? How’d the other Doc miss that?” Kai asked critically. She paused and tapped her finger against hr chin in thought. “Well… now that I think about it, even I don’t really know what cheek it’s on this time. You’d think I’d know my own ass better.”

Doctor Grey offered Kai a smile that was simply too kind for the subject at hand. “We can give you a true physical and sort that out at a later date, if you wish.”

“Sounds like a date,” Kai said with a wink and a click of her tongue.

“I suppose so,” Grey replied before looking to the door. “Do you wish for me to close the cockpit door, Private Grif?”

“Is that naked physical happening now?” Kai asked back.

Junior chortled.

“I can’t imagine that we’ll have the time for it, I’m afraid,” Doctor Grey replied in a very bemused tone.

“Nah then, keep it open,” Kai shrugged before turning back to her business. “We still flying straight, FILSS?”

“It is the shortest distance between our current coordinates and the ones designated as our next point of intrigue, Private Gif,” FILSS’ electronic voice hummed from the speakers in response.

“Righteous,” Kai nodded.

She didn’t pay much mind to Grey calling in to Chorus — it was something she did quite frequently on their trip and there had been nothing really spectacular about it outside of an occasional urge to ask Grey if Chorus was something like Paradise Island where all the leaders and soldiers were butch women with fantastic hair (the answer had been no to Kai’s displeasure since some President Kimball was the only one who ever seemed to be on the other line with Grey).

Few things were capable of holding a Grif’s focus for too long and the Chorusian contacts were not an exception to the general rule.

Junior didn’t seem particularly interested in whatever the conversation was either, though, and laid out against the console with another begrudging sigh.

“Dude, I don’t know why you come up here if you’re going to act so moody every time. Like goddamn,” Kai groaned as she kicked back into her seat again. Her eyes focused on the distant stars and she frowned as an itchy feeling scratched at her back.

The little dude was just staring at her. Openly.

“You’ve traveled a lot for being such a little guy, huh?” she asked casually. “The stars and space aren’t even that interesting to you anymore.”

Junior’s teeth clattered together in what passed for affirmation in what Kai considered to be a truly nonsense tongue.

“Yeah, well, just so you know, you’re pretty lucky. I didn’t leave the planet I was born on until I was joining up with the army to find my bro,” Kai explained, sitting more upright. “The first time I was in a transport ship, I pretended I was looking for the bathroom so that I could get in the cockpit and see the stars — they didn’t have windows or anything on the rest of the ship. And they treat military recruits like shit. But outside of trying to find Dex again… I was here to see those stars, up close for the first time in my whole life.” She looked back toward the window, which urged Junior’s gaze to follow. “They weren’t gonna let me stay up there and watch the stars, but I gave the captain a lap dance so they’d shut the fuck up about it. It worked.”

“Bow chicka honk honk,” Junior called out, crawling into the passenger seat finally.

“Dude, no, I banged your dad,” Kai snapped at him. “You can’t make comments at me after I bang your dad. It’s illegal in, like, all of space. Pretty sure. Like what the fuck were they trying to teach you at that prissy prep school? Definitely not the law.”

Blarghing, Junior seemed to want to challenge the sentiment.

Kai shrugged casually. “Hey, don’t take up complaints with the law against me! Go bitch to Washington! He’s the cop, he can change laws and stuff for you. It’s not, like, it’s an act of congress or something. He just has to change his mind. Then you can hit on me and get rejected for being a little perv.”

The little alien rolled his eyes and kicked out his feet to get a better position in his seat, grumbling to himself still with his arms crossed. His frustration was written all over his lizardy face and Kai couldn’t help but smirk at it.

“You know, it’s weird, but even though you’re, like, an alien and crap, sometimes I look at you and you just remind me of your dad so much,” Kaikaina told Junior, immediately causing the little guy to perk up. “Which is saying something, ‘cuz your dad and I were intimate.”

“I hadn’t realized you and Captain Tucker were an item.”

The voice was so unfamiliar and caught Kai so off guard that she nearly fell out of her seat as she whirled around to face it. Her heart only began to calm down once she saw that it was the reporter lady Carolina had brought along. “The fuck. How’d you get in here so quiet?”

The reporter tilted her head and looked back to the ajar cockpit door before turning back. “The door was open,” she said flatly. “Now about you and Captain Tucker—“

“Me and Tucker fucked a few times,” Kai snapped angrily. “That doesn’t make us an item, you old cootch.”

“Bow chicka honk honk,” Junior said in the correct context for, perhaps, the first time since he had joined their team.

Andrews paused and tilted her head. “I think you meant coot.”

Kai folded her arms. “I know what I said.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you, Kaikaina — or do you prefer Li’l Grif?” Andrews offered peacefully.

“I tell you what I prefer, reporter lady, I prefer to know that everyone on this ship’s on the same mission of the same reason. Because we care about my brother and my teammates and the other idiots that I didn’t bother to remember the names of because they were old or geeky or too gay to care that I somersaulted naked. But then there’s you,” Kai said, pointing a heavy finger toward the reporter. “You want to spin a story. And lemme tell ya, I was the Queen Bitch in high school so I know not to trust people who are interested in spinning stories. Especially when they’re about people I care about.”

Looking taken aback, Andrews tilted her head. “I’m sorry if I offended in any way, Kaikaina—“

“You didn’t, as long as you don’t go full Regina George on us,” Kai warned.

“Regina…?” Andrews tried to follow.

“Ugh, you’re old. I can hear it in your lack of relevant source material,” Kai snapped before getting to her feet and holding out her hand for Junior to take. “Keep driving us steady, FILSS. I’m taking Junior to bed.”

“Request accepted!” FILSS called after them as Kai and Junior shoved past Andrews on their way out.

Kai only momentarily caught the sharp eyes of Doctor Grey on the whole scene.

Carolina was quiet while Wash worked at redressing her leg wound.

He didn’t like it — the fact that she still had not taken time to allow the wound to heal and the fact that she was overly quiet despite their generally positive results. Wash might not have liked when their plans fell completely through, but he was used to it happening without giving them any results. This seemed to be a distinct improvement, as it were.

But he and Carolina went back before the Reds and Blues, as difficult as that was to remember at times. They had known each other since Freelancer, and he had followed her cues as closely as he could since then.

Her silence spoke volumes. It was her considering over their results, it was reliving the scenario as it played out, how she could have made it better, how she could have made it safer.

Washington highly doubted any of it had to do with making sure she didn’t have to use her speed unit and reopen the old wound she wouldn’t allow to heal. Things never came to that sense of self preservation for her anymore.

“I’d ask if you want a penny for your thoughts,” Wash broke the silence solemnly, “but I know you well enough to know that that’d be underselling your thoughts’ worth.”

That at least got a smirk and small huff of a laugh from Carolina.

He looked up to watch the momentary expression unfold. The smile and laugh — those weren’t things from Freelancer. Sure, she smirked and was good for the old sarcastic quips. Still was. But there was a warmth to them now that had not been present before. Wash wondered if his own changes since meeting the Reds and Blues were nearly as subtle.

He doubted it.

Spending time with the Reds and Blues did not promote subtly. At least not for him.

“You really know how to make an ex-marine blush, Wash,” Carolina retorted dryly. She looked him in the eyes. “My thoughts aren’t pretty right now, or else I’d share.”

Finishing up the wrap of gauze, Washington flared his nostrils with a sharp exhale and then tilted his head back to return Carolina’s look meaningfully. “I’ve come to find that when your thoughts are less than pleasant, it’s probably the best time to share them. Or… else…”

She raised a brow at him. “Or else…?”

“It just seems like a bad idea. Getting stuck in your own head,” he said. “Besides, even if I don’t like how it all played out like a tire rolling down a garbage hill… on fire… You got results. Just like you always do. And now we have FILSS navigating the ship instead of a barely legal Grif. So I’d say things are running remotely in the positive thus far.”

“Would you lay off Li’l Grif?” Carolina sighed, leaning back against the wall. “I happen to like her. Besides. She might be loud and obnoxious, but the part of that she’s not overdoing to annoy you is a coverup for how worried she is about her brother.”

Surprised by the depth of her defense, Washington looked at Carolina.

In return, Carolina shrugged. “Girl talk.”

“Girl talk,” Wash replied dryly. “Anything you need to share with me? Besides the fact that I’m an annoyance that needs to be talked over by the second most perverted person in the galaxy?”

Carolina scoffed. “Don’t let Li’l Grif hear you say that!”

“Oh, she’d be flattered,” Wash replied with a twist of his wrist and a roll of his eyes.

“Of being second?”

“She’s met Tucker before,” Wash said flatly. “In… the biblical sense.”

“Oh, god, we need another girl talk. Homegirl deserves better,” Carolina said though it was mostly without malice.

“Hey, we promised not to make demeaning jokes about the guys until we found them again,” Wash reminded her. “That includes my… lascivious teammate.”

Carolina sobered up some at that and inhaled sharply. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s just… old habits.”

“Almost as difficult to kill as the Reds and Blues, I know,” Wash said, squeezing Carolina’s knee. “You have to keep yourself together, Carolina. You’re still leading this mission. And the Reds and Blues have to be alive. If you just search your feelings—“

“We already agreed this is Star Wars, you don’t have to keep nerding up the point, Wash,” Carolina rolled her eyes.

“Carolina,” Wash said intently. “Promise me you’re going to not leave me alone on this. I’ve already lost the Reds and Blues… Freelancer… I can only be the last man standing so many times before I get a condition.”

She looked surprised before growing a sour look. “That sob story doesn’t work on me.”

“The truth isn’t a sob story!” Wash complained.

“It is when it’s you, jesus, Wash,” Carolina retorted before leaning her head back with an audible thud against the wall. Her eyes were distant and aimed toward the ceiling, though they seemed to look even further. “You really think we’re going to find everyone alive? All of them?” she asked lowly.

“No doubts,” Wash replied firmly.

“I have them.”

Almost immediately, Wash could feel himself deflated. “What do you mean—“

“I think the guys are alive. I feel like it must be the case because… even if it’s hard to imagine a god that would allow the kind of shit we’ve gone through… the universe itself can’t be that unjust, to make us lose our family again after just finding them,” Carolina answered lowly. “And I want that to be enough to keep me happy, to keep me positive. But when it’s just you and me and I’m not worried about motivating the others and keeping us moving, there’s an emptiness in me. There’s… there’s just a place that Epsilon used to fill. Even when he wasn’t synced with me. And it’s just. Not there anymore, Wash. I don’t… I don’t know if he’s still with us. But I think he’s not.”

Washington absorbed the information quietly, respectfully. He did not have to use words to express to Carolina what she already very well knew — that for Wash there were no simple feelings with Epsilon. That Epsilon was something that he never counted with the guys for himself.

Their bond was not something he could spend his time thinking about, nor did he really want to to begin with.

“I’m sorry, if that’s how you feel,” he finally responded.

“It is,” Carolina said, dropping her head. “Before things got too crazy on Chorus, before the final attack and taking down the Tower against Felix and Locus… Before all that, the Insurrectionist soldier — the one who remembered us from Freelancer. He said something. He said… He said Epsilon was failing. That he was dying. And when I thought about it all — the glitches, the… multiple projections. Just the way he was jumping around between equipment and soldiers and… It was there. Before the Reds and Blues disappeared. He was dying. And he lied to my face — to my brain — when I confronted him.”

Wash’s veins grew cold and he straightened his jaw.

Epsilon, after all, had a habit of dying, or at least trying to, in people’s heads.

“I’m sorry,” Wash said when he could think of nothing else.

“No, I’m sorry. This is a shitty conversation,” Carolina said with a grunt, getting to her feet. “I’m sorry you’re the only person I can have it with, too.”

Wash pushed up from the ground to get to his own feet. “Not even Grey?” he asked.

“Normally, maybe,” Carolina said, crossing her arms. “But lately we’ve had this… weirdness between us ever since I brought Dylan onboard.”

Pausing, Wash tilted his head at her. “Dylan?”

“See? That’s exactly what Emily said, too!” Carolina growled out, frustrated.

Not ready to let that thread go without a fight, Wash opened his mouth and began to argue for more details when the door to the bunks burst open and nearly sent Carolina and himself into fight mode.

“Eureka!” Doctor Grey shrieked. “She found it!”