#But honestly worth it cuz i was talking 2 my best friend ever!!!!!!

[juggaloyaoi]

guys dont stay up l8 even if ur ""not tired"" and it "basically feels like morning alrdy so im ok" DONT DO IT thats the devil the DEVIL is tellin u to do that,. cuz them youll go to sleep and wake up l8 and want 2 fucking die TRUST ME DONT DO IT!

[alexissara]

Why You Should Try Gales Of Nayeli

With Gales Of Nayeli putting out an updated demo I wanted to take some time to be this games hype woman. I have no personal profit to gain from this game's success, I became friends with the games dev after becoming a backer and eventually over chatting on discord it became more than like interview questions where I tried to learn more about the game for my own piece of mind or to see if it's worth hyping to girlfriends. I want this game to do well because it seems like most of what I've ever wanted in my favorite kind of video games. So much so it's inspiring me to want to make a video game myself. Blindcoco is great and I am thrilled about this game so allow me to gush to you a bit on all the parts of this game that make it really exciting and special to me.

Queerness in focus

I highlight this first cuz it's what sold me and it's also something people who follow me care a lot about. The games Creator didn't flinch when I asked on the kickstarter about Sapphic rep and since then we've talked a lot on discord about the game in general so I have a wide but not complete idea of how big queerness is in GoN. 

The main character is a bi woman with 4 romance options 2 men 2 women and like most romance in this game the romances go beyond the start of relationships in their support conversations or an end card but actually have at least One conversation in a relationship.  For Nayeli Our main character it elevates the character she romanced even further, making them a must deploy and adding even more time for their romance to shine in the plot and not just in the supports.  

Of course a bi MC is amazing but it goes beyond this with many bisexual characters and a few Lesbains and Gay men too. The lesbians and Gay men aren't Heathered or Leoned and left to be forever alone and are allowed to thrive while being gay and also allowed to have friendships with people on top of romance. Same goes for most bi characters. These romances and friendships the characters have also provide some mechanical advantage from unlocking classes to weapons and more really making these relationships feel like they have weight instead of being some flavor that mostly doesn’t matter. 

The game even features 2 trans men and a trans woman in its cast. The developer has put a lot of work into making his game feel like a world that in some ways Is better than our own without just the hand waving touch of saying the world's accepting without ever showing queer people. 

I have to reserve final judgment for how the game handles queerness when I actually play the game and review it but at this phase of in depth conversation and being shown information I can say with confidence that we're at least seeing someone try and honestly that's a lot more than most SRPGs. It really seems like this could dwarf the next best offerings by a bit

A wildly fun roster of characters 

This roster is diverse but not just in skin tone but in the fantastical ways too. You can find Snake girls, Harpies, Demons, Squirrel Girls, wolf girls, shark boys, and even a chicken among your party. The roster really ranges with ethnicity, cultures, personalities and even species. 

I do think it’s most important to talk about the diversity that matters most and is here in the real world and that is this game's dedication to trying to literally make own voices, hiring voice actors and doing it’s best to get people from similar backgrounds to play characters. The cast has a really wide range of real world cultures that are being pulled from and used as inspiration in the fantasy world and to that end there is a level of making sure the people from these cultures are getting some money in the process even if it is the smaller funds an indie game budget can afford to give. 

WIth a roster of over 30 characters there is likely a character who you relate to, who you might feel some kind of kinship with or want to look like especially when you throw promotions and the like in the mix. You want a showy performer she's here, want a smooth dancer you got it, want a fierce warrior they got plenty. 

I think the “monster” people add a lot to the game in concept too where in so many games you will just murder harpies or snakes or demons because the game simply says their evil or animals this game provides a challenge to this existing framework with even early party subverting standard tropes by giving you access to a dark elf Keri who is not just a big deal but a main love interest for the main character. This can really challenge the fantasy racism that so casually shows up in so many games and get you to think of every enemy human or not as another soldier in this conflict, not something evil that must be rooted out. 

Amazing Artwork

The game has stunning sprites and a true depth of art put into it. Every character has multiple promoted classes each of which has its own sprite and it's own art work meaning In and out of battle you'll see the advancement of the character. The creator of the game is the artist who is drawing all the core art for characters and has put a lot of work into the roster including revamping most of the art he had previously done to make the promoted art work for all the story scenes with expressions and everything. There is a lot of love and care into all the sprites and a lot of intentionality into making sure the art and sprites feel like the same character. 

The art goes beyond the visual too with way more voice work then one would expect from an indie game with this kind of budget including special lines for when characters who are important to each other interact in particular ways, several lines for hitting critical hits, even lines for abilities they can rarely access. While the game sadly didn’t reach the stretch goal for full voice acting it’s clear that the voice acting they could afford was all put to great use with a ton of wonderful little bits of flavor brought to life by amazing voice talent. 

If your as dorky as me hearing a game was made in SRPG Studio might automatically give you a mental image of how the UI elements will look and everything but the art direction in this game extends beyond all the elements previously mentioned and into the UI design with constant tweaks and changes to make sure the game feels like Gales Of Nayeli and not SRPG Studios presents another indie SRPG. Not that there's anything wrong with that but it gives GoN a very nice feel even just in the basic parts of presentation going that extra inch to not just feel like a copy and paste job. 

So many ways to play

The game offers a lot of modes and ways to modify gameplay. It knows a lot of what those deep into SRPGs already like to do but Also has features for people who want to go wild like a mode that makes your leveling utterly ridiculously strong. Beyond the amount of shifts with difficulty modes you have this huge roster with so many different classes  including the monsters and such mentioned earlier but also a wide range of classes performed by more standard humans too allowing for every kind of play style. Then if that wasn't enough there are ways with items both equipment and enchantment Items to further shape your roster for you. 

Every character has multiple classes they can promote to baring the games select characters who area already in a promoted class with each character's class list being uniquely made for them. This means even if  you want to play with the same characters you have at least 2 different ways to play the characters with the cap being 5 different classes for Nayeli and some characters having 3. Even the chicken gets to have multiple promoted class options.

The game has ways for you to see RNs, it has ways to play where you never gain stats and where you always gain stats, it can even turn on a fan of SRPG favorite the weapon triangle where weapons function similarly to Fire Emblem games where particular weapons have advantage over others. 

The game is also designed for replay with lots of secrets in the games from items to recruitable characters to secret chapters to the previously announced benefits that are unlocked with relationships. You can enjoy multiple playthroughs mixing up party members, relationships, items, classes, and builds to play.  It's even got you covered if you don't want to replay but want a little more after the story with post game maps for just enjoying your party and taking on challenges if your not ready to say bye to the characters yet.

[wack-ashimself]

That is one fucking dark take on a long standing friendship...

I would say it's a dark comedy, but there's far more drama than comedy so....dark dramedy?

The Banshees of Inisherin.

I will tell you a few things:

1-trailer doesn't ruin ANYTHING. The best twists, turns, and quotes are not in the trailer.

2-after seeing the whale and this, THIS is better. In every way.

3-It's one of the best stories ever written. Do you know how I judge a good story? No one is fully the good guy, or bad guy, and everyone fucks up. It's gritty, raw, and...genuine.

4-one of the strongest atmosphere. It's beautiful, there's ton of well rounded characters, and tho in the 1920s, doesn't feel like it is. But that is good; you don't want an accurate bathroom scene or actually acknowledging how much cattle poop is everywhere to distract from the story.

Summary: Two older Irishmen are best friends but then, one day, out of the blue, one never wants to see or talk to the other again. I ain't giving you anymore than that cuz....it's worth every minute. It builds so....consistently

Foreshadowing (the hook along with others), great background of relevance to their issues (civil war going on in the back), the complete irreverence of the movie title, the sets...it's just a near perfect movie.

Forewarning tho: it gets pretty fucking graphic. And a lot more violent than you would think. You would NOT GUESS from the trailer.

The Banshees of Inisherin: 8.6/10

Best part? Honestly, this makes you question a LOT about yourself and your relationships. Is it for ease? Who they are? Common interests? Like, this makes you want to stare at some of your own connections and simply ask 'Are they really worth it? Am I worth it?' Movies that make you think...like one of my fav scenes he goes 'you were nice...weren't you?' IMO, saying that he more dealt with the friendship than appreciated it. Not enough movies make you reflect, especially this deeply.

[game-boy-pocket]

Nintendo Direct Thoughts

I just woke up and had a look, not expecting much given this is one of those "we're at the end of the Switch's life" Directs but honestly I was surprised.

We start with a brand new Mario and Luigi game... we've been getting lots of remakes for Mario RPGs but this is a new one and honestly was the one I expected to get a new game the least out of all of them. To tell the truth I would have preferred a continuation of SMRPG or a new traditional Paper Mario over this, cuz a party made up of just Mario and Luigi was novel when Luigi wasn't appearing in as many games but now it feels boring by comparison. I wish they would do more with the idea of adding on surprise guest party members, like how the 2nd game had the Baby Bros and the Third game had Bowser, then Paper Mario, but after that it just a weird version of Luigi? idk man. This looks neat, I'm glad the franchise isn't dead. I'll think about picking it up. Probably not a day 1 purchase. I do hope other Mario RPGs have a chance at continuing too though.

I still think the Nintendo World Championships is pointless.

Not interested in Fairy Tail, I only ever read a bit of the Manga, I'd like to check out the anime but lisenced anime games are a hard sell for me. Wish they'd just make another One Piece Grand Battle style game.

Don't care about Fantasian, Nintendo Switch Sports has a bad reputation and I don't care about sports anyway so that's a pass, pass on Mio, pass on Disney, pass on Hello Kitty, give me a sequel to the Keroppi platformer for the NES and then we'll talk, It's weird to see Loney Tunes in a video game. That Porky Pig voice was rough. I don't have hopes for it, Don't care about Among Us or Farmagia...

Donkey Kong Country Returns... not a new game, and they didn't announce any new playable characters or features aside from levels from the 3DS version, and I wish they gave DK and Diddy more of a facelift, but i'll take it, a way to play DKCR on the big screen, hopefully without the motion controls, is a win... but please Nintendo.... give us a new DK game...

Dragon Quest III 2DHD. I am very mixed about the whole 2D HD thing, I don't think it looks good. Never have. This looks a lot better than Octopath to me but I still don't like it. Also, I respectfully disagree with Mr. Horii. Playing the games in chronological order is not the best way to experience the Erdrick Trilogy, and that's a pretty dumb thing to say. That's like telling someone to read a Murder Mystery but start with the final chapter. The big twist in DQ3 will be meaningless to those who haven't played, at the very least, DQ1... I'm glad all 3 games are getting the treatment. I am a big fan of the trilogy so even though I don't care for the whole 2D HD thing, I'll pick it up, and who knows, maybe the style will grow on me.

Funko is a fucking joke. I'm ehh about Luigi's Mansion 2 but I might pick it up anyway if I have extra cash burning a hole in my pocket and I really want a new game. Don't care about Denpa Men, Would prefer Traditional Metal Slug, Don't care about Darkest Dungeon, Don't care about NSO but it's nice that those games are now available for people, Phantom Braves has a cute art style but i'm not interested in the gameplay, Marvsl and Capcom arcade collection might be worth a look but idk, I'm no good at fighting games, so i'd only be in it for the beat em ups.

I tried to like Mario Party but I just can't get into that style of game. I want to like it because I love the Mario series but it's just not fun for me, either with friends or going it alone, I hate board games irl, making them video games doesn't actually help, and I think the minigames are just not fun and over too quickly.

I wish I was excited about our first new 2D Zelda in a long time. But Link has always been...ugh... I guess you could call him a "comfort character" for me. I never liked Princess Zelda that much, and I enjoy the combat in Zelda games a lot, so a game without Link and without Combat.... I am apprehensive. The one thing that might save this game for me is that it has hints of monster taming. Not like... real monster taming, you're creating copies, so it's not like your bonding with monster companions, but it's still monster vs monster, and that's something I'd love to see expanded on. Give me a full on Zelda monster tamer.... I hope this isn't "The new direction for 2D Zelda" the way BOTW is for 3D Zelda though. I was kinda hoping 2D Zelda would keep traditional Zelda alive while 3D Zelda continued being open air.

More headlines, I don't care about just dance, never was a fan of legos, stray was interesting when it was first announced but the novelty wore off after watching ppl play it, there's a lot of games like lately. Don't care about the Hobbit, and i'm sorry, I'm sorry, I know I don't care about a lot of things and I know t he franchise has a lot of fans but I just don't care about Ace Attourney. And don't care about Hunted Line, looks edgy. I know SaGa has a legacy, but I'd prefer to try an older game before thinking about checking out a new one.

Metroid Prime 4 looks interesting. We have Sylux with some Metroids following him around. We have orchestral sounding music. It's definitely Metroid Prime alright. Can't wait to play it for myself.

Despite how often I said "don't care" I'd call this a good direct.

TLDR, Metroid is the most exciting thing there, I'm happy for the DKCR remake, I'm apprehensive about Zelda but I'm gonna try it. Mario and Luigi i'll probably pick up some day.

[bri-notthecheese]

my thoughts on Iki Island:

(spoilers under the cut)

I really loved this DLC! I had nothing but high hopes for this after playing the base game last year (and three more times after that), and Sucker Punch didn’t disappoint. The whole time playing it I felt like it was only adding to my love of the characters and the stories they set up in the base game, and then all the new quests and mechanics added a lot of fresh fun on top of that! 

So where to even begin. 

The opening scene was super cool and a neat way to introduce the new shaman enemies. And despite Yuna only actually being in one scene, it was a delight to see her again. Though since I’m playing the DLC after finishing everything, I don't love the continuity of Yuna not accompanying him, but gameplay wise I knew that wasn’t going to happen anyway, but I just love when she’s with us <3

Went for my horse straight away and I was THRILLED to see that Kaze can now kill enemies and the new charge mechanic was way more fun than I was expecting and I was having too much fun with that. After Nobu, I didn’t expect to get attached the Kaze all that much (even if he continued on into a later game) but I was quickly proved wrong with this because I now kind of separate Nobu as the more gentler of the two, that was always there for me, and while Kaze is too, I like imagining Kaze is a lot younger and his aggressive personality in this really sold that and I like that it probably eases Jin’s worries a bit to see his new horse being able to fend off attacks a bit better. Plus, with his new armor, he’s even safer <3 Really fell more in love with Kaze in this, which I didn’t expect.

Met The Eagle next and had that whole encounter. I love how right away if you pay attention, you know Yuna isn’t Yuna because she’s never once addressed Jin as ‘my lord.’ I think the only time she said it was when she was talking to both him and Shimura at the lighthouse, and it wasn’t because she wanted to. But still, even knowing something was wrong, it’s cute that Jin’s mind went to her as a safe place who he’d have no problem entrusting stories and secrets to, which was obviously the Eagle’s goal. And hearing her voice warp into the Eagle’s was creepyyyy and so good <3  (my Yuna loving ass was sad to realize that was most likely the last time we’d see her, but that’s okay) That next part of the hallucination really got you feeling for Jin, and I couldn’t help but be frustrated that he’s only a child, how was he supposed to help?!?!? 

So I ignored Tenzo’s next mission and explored and pretty much completed the entire island. I got jump scared WAY too many times by her taunts, but I loved how that just added to the direness of the situation. I was obsessed with finding all the hallucinations and it just kept breaking my heart how Jin has all of this pent up guilt/heartache--with Ryuzo (he had so many I found), his father, his uncle, the Khan, Nobu :(, Masako, etc. I honestly had expected to find one regarding Taka and I’m a bit sad that I didn’t. Add those to the memories of his father and the ever-present taunting, I was going through it with Jin <3 At least you can pet the animals for him <3 The little smile he’d get every time was worth it. And the flute playing mechanic was really neat!

The first memory I got was their chat before Kazumasa’s death and honestly that got me all teary because Jin wanted so badly to hear him say he accepted him as his son, but deep down, would he have felt it? And my heart just breaks so much for Jin because as I kept going through the memories, I kept thinking how well 1) his dad sucks, but 2) both father figures kept wanting Jin to be somebody else. And it hurts that he was closer to Shimura’s way of thinking and how we even see that one time that Shimura corrects Jin, that his recitation of what honor means were his father’s words, and gets Jin to say that kindness is what honor means to him and wow. <3 <3 <3 But it hurts knowing their fate too <3 That while Shimura was more of a father to Jin than Kazumasa was, eventually, he couldn’t accept what Jin was doing in their way. Though it does hurt and make you wonder if Shimura was frightened that Jin was turning into his dad...I had that thought many times. (I loved seeing Adachi so much though omg <3 <3 <3) It was very interesting how the song Jin ends up playing for his father at the end of the memories is the ‘Jin Sakai’ theme. And then how that in turn, morphs into ‘The Way of the Ghost’ later on when in the final battle. 

It hurts that Jin had Chiyoko in his life for such a short time. I’m glad he did have Yuriko at least, but all of Jin’s memories on his mother and how she emphasized just living was so prominent, and her love of animals clearly passed to him and that gentleness too. And of instruments. Such softness, and I love that he retains that even as an adult. It makes sense that he doesn’t speak of his mother as often since he has far less experiences with her vs Kazumasa or Shimura, but it was nice to see her influence within him.  

Did this quest near the end of my exploration but I got the BIGGEST smile on my fave when I barged in the house to find the Ghost of Iki Island was Kenji <3 <3 <3 I love this dumbass so much and it was so nice to see a familiar face <3 Plus it let Jin have an actual full laugh when Kenji referred to them both as ‘tough guys’ XD His quests are always enjoyable for me and so I really loved that (though I was also Jin when he’s like “...you didn’t say goodbye.”) but I was happy to see him do the right thing at the end <3 THEN I got to duel the Viper because I diffused the situation instead and that was fun. Love that Jin explains his knowledge of negotiation was learned from all the years with Shimura <3 Also enjoyed spotting Kenji later in the Refuge XD

Really enjoyed all the side quests overall, loved all the animal sanctuaries, and the archery was a TON of fun! Getting the horse armor was neat, seeing Jin actively stop a Mythic retelling, though I was surprised there was no duel for that one. The one for the monkey armor was so creepy, following the lights in the cave, but so damn cinematic and that fight was incredible plus that amor is my new best friend. Seriously omg, the duels in this DLC felt so much beefier than the base game (I was playing on hard so that could be a reason, but the fights didn’t feel this tanky in the base) But that armor just made them a piece of cake if you’re good at perfect parries and perfect dodges <3 <3

Loved the banter and camaraderie between Jin and Tenzo throughout. And I really enjoyed Fune’s character as well! Did the next few story missions and I couldn’t help that sense of foreboding slipping in as I was getting more attached to these characters. Love that they had Kidafure Battlefield on the map but it isn’t till the mission that they tack on the ‘Village’, really hitting home what happened there. 

Maybe I should have been, but I did not see the twist with Tenzo coming at ALL! I physically gasped when he spoke the “May your death benefit all things” to that random Mongol and I was soooo tense, like Jin listen I know he was your dad but also Tenzo spared you. Which I love in the long run how he spared the Butcher’s child only to save him later in life, and Jin could save him and the island in return <3 Because ohhhhhh boy did I get emotional when Jin stopped the Eagle from landing that blow. 

But before that, HER FIGHT IS SO FUCKING COOOOOL!!!!!! SHE IS SO DAMN FAST AND SHE EASILY WIPED THE FLOOR WITH ME THE FIRST TWO TIMES. I also love her references to Khotan and that her moveset with the spear shares some similarities with him.  I tried once more in my Ghost armor (for fashion) and then I switched to the Sarugami armor and was flying through just to have that whole cutscene.

I know culture is different and obviously I can never understand that mindset, but to hear him say to Jin that they both should have died there broke my heart. What kind of a father wants his son’s death with him like that?!?!?!?! But I LOOOOOOVED ‘Honor and Ash’ playing in the background for that scene, as Jin is rejecting what his father may have thought/wanted (just like he did to Shimura with that track at the end of Act 2) and then it moved up a key just to reinforce that Jin is forgiving himself for this and letting go and again, forging his own path just as he did with his uncle. I loved that they used that piece for that pivotal moment...

...JUST TO KICK IT INTO AN EVEN HIGHER GEAR WITH JIN SAVING TENZO AND THE GHOST THEME BLARING IN WITH A KEY CHANGE TO THEN TRIUMPHANTLY FINISH OFF THE EAGLE!!!!! I WAS SO HYPED (and also hoping I wouldn’t die cuz how anti climactic would that have been?!?) but I didn’t and I really enjoyed the resolution between those two. I bowed to him after he bowed to me and I love that they even added dialogue for that if players do decide to do that <3 <3 <3 

The next quest with Fune was sweet, though it felt a little odd to do after defeating the Eagle, but it was sweet nonetheless. I have to finish up some trophy stuff, I guess there’s unseen quests that I’m sure I’ve done a few of, but I have to figure out what I missed. The dueling ring was fun, though that lady was the most difficult for me.

A few things of note:

-I like that in this DLC, you really can’t tell if it’s better to kill or spare Shimura. And how there are lines that could mean slightly different things to Jin depending on what he’s done. I’ve done both and I was on a file where he spared him, but besides a hallucination mentioning the Ghost being hunted for the rest of his days, nothing else pointed to one choice or the other.

-Though a line Jin said to Sugi threw me a bit when he said something along the lines of ‘you’ll never understand how hard it is to kill your family’ and maybe he was referencing his guilt for his father, but I’m like ?????? who else did you kill Jin??? Shimura is fine in this play through XD 

-Talking with her though, I like that Jin described himself as ‘someone who knows what it’s like to be hunted’ :((((((

-Tenzo also made reference to a friend of his being beheaded, but not finding the head till a week later, and asking Jin if he understands that and while the situation is different, I bet Jin’s mind went to Taka :( 

-Loved the subtle storytelling elements with Jin falling into his nightmares during the fight through the Gorge and his resolve disappears each time. The second time it happened, I verbally went “oh my resolve.....oh.”

-I do think Sucker Punch made a lil mistake though because I started thinking about how in Tale 8 of Masako’s quests, I’m almost certain she mentions Jin not understanding her need for revenge or something along those lines, and she talks about Shimura hunting down Kazamasu’s killer for weeks and how Jin had his closure. But uhhhhhh obviously his killer was never found? Or they killed the wrong one? And they didn’t mention it was on Iki Island and obviously didn’t have that foresight that they’d be doing this DLC since he was killed in the snow in the base game and now it was under a wisteria tree, but besides that small thing, I had no complaints! except for always wanting more Yuna

It was so great and I felt it really complemented the base game, especially in regards to everything that Jin feels guilty and responsible for, but also puts his relationship with Shimura is so many new lights that I loooove and I need to talk about more!!! If you read this far, feel free to hmu to chat about it because my best friend who played the base game at the same time I did and screamed with me about it has not played this yet and ahhhhh!!!!!!

[simpingforsoftboys]

The Odds of Us All

Chapter 2 Pt 5/5: Food & Tea- But Not The Drink Kind

It was finally lunch time, Y/n was more than ready to leave her classroom and head to the twins class. Saying goodbye to some of her new friends, she departed from class 2-5 and headed down the hallway to class 2-3. While she was in college prep, the twins and Suna were in the other classes below her. The girl didn’t hold it against them, some people were made for different fields- academics didn’t define anything besides a persons academic intelligence. 

Several people stared after her as she walked, everyone was intrigued with the new transfer student who was the soulmate of Itachiyama’s star ace and the cousin of Shiratorizawa’s famous Ushiwaka. It got on her nerves at first but she got used to the attention eventually. If she was rude to her “fans” then it’d look bad on Sakusa and Wakatoshi.

“Ushijima-san!” Someone called after her, stopping her in her tracks, Y/n turned and looked over at the person. It was a first year from class 1-2, if she remembered correctly he was in her “fan club.” (Honestly she was a little flattered at how fast she gained a following here, back at Nekoma it took her a whole two weeks before some classmates formed one for her.) “I was wondering if you would be willing to accept this... I made it just for you!” She was about to thank him for the horribly wrapped bento, when someone decided to stop her. 

“Y/n.” Suna said from across the hallway, phone in hand, “come on we’re eating outside.” He gave the first year a deadpan, daring him to speak, Y/n smiled apologetically at him, thanking him for the bento and accepting it. The first year hurried away, but not without a pleased blush coating his cheeks. “Told you- you’re Ms. Popular.”

“Maybe... but it doesn’t really matter.” Y/n replied, tucking the bento into her satchel. “It’s always been this way, but not for the reasons you might think.” Seeing her soulmates inquisitive gaze she continued. “I mean maybe they start genuinely liking me eventually, but initially they follow me around and try to befriend me in an effort to know about all the drama in my life. Having a famous cousin and soulmate does that to you. Oh- but I’m sure you deal with it too- I mean you and the twins are famous on the volleyball scene for a reason.”

Suna hummed noncommittally, pocketing his phone and shoving his hands in his pockets with it. “I get it- people only want to get to know me cuz of the twins or my looks... but I don’t really pay attention to them... neither do Atsumu or Osamu.” He gave her a side glance. “You shouldn’t either, people like that just aren’t worth the energy.” 

“You make a good point Suna- but I can’t. I got to make a good impression for them. Oh wow, Inarizaki sure has everything doesn’t it?” They were in the schools private garden, it was a large plot of land- with rows or fresh vegetables and countless beds of flowers- Y/n could even spot several wisteria trees. “I think it’s even prettier than Itachiyama’s greenhouse.”

“Itachiyama? I thought ya went to Nekoma.” Atsumu asked, popping up in front of her. Osamu walked over to them, they had just arrived too. 

Y/n nodded, “Hi Atsumu, Osamu; I did, but I was initially planning on going to Itachiyama- I toured the campus, passed the entrance exams and everything too. But my friends went to Nekoma so I followed.” Osamu said ‘hi’ in response.

“Interesting.” Atsumu said, his mischievous smirk never leaving his face. “Hey follow me will ya?” He grabbed her hand gently, leading her to a round, stone picnic table below the wisteria trees, leaving Osamu and Suna to trail after them. 

“There he goes.” Suna whispered, earning a sigh in response from the gray haired twin. “So touchy... surprised no one reported him for harassment yet.”

“I’d thank 'em if they did.” Osamu huffed with an eye roll. “Maybe then he would learn ta keep his hands ta himself.” The four of them settled at the table, Atsumu on Y/n’s left, Osamu to her right, and Suna in front of her. 

“Y/n got a bento from a first year earlier.” The brunette gossiped (but in his weird deadpan way), he hid a grin at the matching scowls the twins wore. “Hey Y/n what did you think of him?” 

“He was sweet.” She pulled the bento out and plopped it on the table. “But I’m not going to eat it- he’s still a stranger and I’m not the type to eat food from just anyone.” She didn’t notice the glances the three shared at her words.

“What if I made it?” The younger Miya muttered, staring at the h/c (hair color) girl. Atsumu did his best to hide his snort- meanwhile Suna subtly recorded the moment. 

“Oh? Well you’re not just anyone are you?” Her words seemed flirtatious, but in actuality she was just being genuinely blunt. “I wouldn’t mind if it were you.” Let’s just say Suna was very glad he was recording- because the pink hue that overtook Osamu’s cheeks was HILARIOUS. 

“Good, cuz I made ya some f/f (favorite food).” Osamu pulled an expertly wrapped bento from his bag and placed it in front of Y/n, who looked pleasantly surprised at his kind gesture. 

“Look at him flirtin- almost as good as me. I’m so proud.” Atsumu grinned, not the least bit jealous (shockingly). “Never thought I’d see the day.” 

“Not you getting a big head over this.” Suna teased, earning himself a mean scowl. “If it were you, Y/n would have said no... maybe even eaten that first years bento instead.” 

“Ya know I’m startin to think ya spend too much time with ‘Samu.”

“Heh.”

Y/n took a bite of the food, meanwhile Osamu watched her from the corner of his eye- pretending to be occupied with his own serving of f/f. Her e/c orbs widened as her tastebuds registered the burst of flavor that was overtaking them. The entire dish was seasoned to the point of near perfection- of course there was some fault, but that was probably due to Osamu’s inexperience with this specific food. Even if it wasn’t a first for him, this was still some of the best damn f/f she had ever tasted. It was tempting to scarf it all down at once, but she forced herself to savor the taste. 

“So... how is it?” All eyes were on her, each of them eager to see what she thought of Osamu’s cooking. 

“You cooked this by yourself?” She questioned, swiveling to the right to look at the younger twin. Osamu nodded, fidgeting ever so slightly.

“Yeah... m’sorry if it’s not that good- was my first attempt at makin’ f/f.” 

Shaking her head and placing her chopsticks down, Y/n smiled at him cheerily. “When you told me you could cook I was expecting something like a simple tamagoyaki- but this is what it’s like when you’re just experimenting? Miya Osamu you are seriously talented- this is some of the best f/f I’ve had in a long while- and I eat this a lot.” 

“Thanks so much, means a lot-” Osamu began, a small, genuine smile slipping on his face.

“IDHOISA Y/n yer so cute! Can’t believe I thought ya were a total jerk on Twitter-” 

“How tf did he say that out loud?” Suna wondered, referring to the verbal version of a keyboard smash.

“NO I WAS HOPING YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT TWEET.” Y/n screeched, appalled at the expected- but completely unwelcome- news.

“Pfftt-” The brunette snorted at her expense.

“TSUMU YA RUINED THE MOMENT YA ASSHOLE!”

“OW- THE HELL? YA WANNA FIGHT SAMU?”

To put it simply it was pure chaos, their chances at a peaceful lunch completely dashed. For the rest of the lunch break the twins argued, meanwhile Suna live streamed their idiocy, and Y/n enjoyed the chaos while simultaneously savoring her delicious meal...

Facts/Trivia

Y/n was actually pretty popular in Nekoma- but it took a good two weeks before she had her own fan club

So majority of her fan club actually liked her for who she was as a person and not because of her cousin

Her new Inarizaki fanclub is not like her Nekoma one

This club was only formed because people want to get to know her in order to meet Sakusa and Wakatoshi

Some people like first year kun are apart of it because they think she’s attractive

Yes some girls left Atsumu’s fanclub in order to simp for Y/n

Atsumu may not care for his fans but he does like the attention 💀

Any peace between the twins is ruined because Atsumu can’t stfu

Osamu and Atsumu are actually pretty good at sharing and not getting jealous over partners

Suna never helps stop fights

Good thing Y/n’s here now

Fyi the ramen incident is filed on Osamu’s highschool record 😭

It took all of Atsumu’s willpower to not ask Y/n to be their manager when she talked about cheering for him

Series Masterlist

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*send ASK to be added; BOLD means I’m unable to tag you

[mintchochipkookie]

Banshee,

For the fandom ask:

Harry Potter

Nanuuu! THANK YOU for sending Harry Potter (you, Blue, and Ever just really knew what fandoms I desperately wanted to talk about huh?) but also this is the worst because HP has been in my life for upwards of 2 decades and I have never been able to pick a favourite or anything so uhhhhh yeah you're probably not gonna get a straight (or short) answer out of me for anything here.

my favorite female character lmao fuck idk man. I love them all in different ways, but I think maybe I can narrow this down to 2: Luna is the purest soul and she deserves all the happiness in the world. She's so unapologetically herself and doesn't give 2 fucks about other people's opinions. But you know for some reason what moment sticks out to me? When the golden trio visit Xenophilius in DH and they see that she has this painting of the six of them on her walls with the word 'friends' woven through? That gets me in a place that I just don't want to examine rn. And the fact that she married Newt's grandson? Iconic. I've also been remembering how much I love Tonks recently. Like, she's another ray of sunshine and I almost forget that she's a Black family member too. idk maybe there's a hint of the 'not like other girls' mentality there (not gonna deny that I had my nlog phase too) but idk I don't think it's super overt? Maybe if I read the books now I'd think different but I still love Tonks to death. Also! We all talk about how Sirius was a blemish on the Black family tree by being sorted into Gryffindor, but hello ??? Tonks is literally a Hufflepuff ???? That was probably even more shameful to them than Gryffindor lbr. Also she is very relatable because I too would fall madly in love with Lupin and do anything for his happiness.

my favorite male character asdfgh somehow I think this is even more difficult than the previous one. Can I pick from FBAWTFT? Because while I have a tough time deciding for HP, it took me all of 2 seconds of watching Newt to fall in love with him. (I wrote a few thousand word thing about why I love him right after watching the first movie if you care to know more of my thoughts on him lmao) UGH fine. I think it might have to come down to Ron, Neville, and Remus. But I'm saving Ron for another answer, so I'll talk a bit about Neville and Remus. Ugh the boy who could have been, honestly Neville is so severely underrated and okay maybe I just have a thing for the more tortured characters who have stayed pure souls through it all. I just. The St. Mungos scene in OotP still makes my heart squeeze into a tiny little ball, there's something about Alice and Frank's fates that is so absolutely horrifying to me. Gryffindor is my least favourite house tbh, but I think Neville embodies all the best traits of the house. The kind of courage that Neville has is the most relatable to the real world and I think everyone needs to respect my boy a little more. And Lupin holy shit if I love soft tortured souls whose life experiences make me want to cry, how could I NOT adore Lupin to bits???? I have so many feelings about this man I simply cannot. I want to wrap him up in blankets and give him hot chocolate and I WILL kill anyone who tries to hurt him. He deserves so much better than he got and I'm just glad that this lonely child found some friends who would literally break laws and endanger themselves to keep him company in his worst moments. Just to make his life marginally less shitty. Friends are just so important guys omfg. (Also umm, an accomplished man who's just trying his best but has so much self loathing cuz he thinks that he is inherently a monster not worth being loved??? Mild Zuko vibes anyone? No? Okay I'll shut up.)

my favorite book Ahhh idk? I think Deathly Hallows will always have a special place in my heart (end of an era and all that, and also I do really like it, so much lore), but I think Prisoner of Azkaban maybe. Idk there's a lot of interesting stuff there, plus Lupin (which honestly might be a big part of it lmfao). I feel like it's also the first massive expansion of the HP-verse that we get and it's nice to get a bit of a break from Voldy tbh. I think that's just when things really start picking up y'no?

my favorite cast member I can't pick wtf ????? Although can I just say, I loveee the relationship Tom Felton and Jason Isaacs have? It's like, the opposite of Draco and Lucius.

my favorite ship Oof I think it's gonna have to be Romoine. I just remember really rooting for them as a kid and being so happy when they finally kissed. I also LOVE how it went down in the books, it was so fitting and showcases so much about them as people and their relationship. Honourable mentions: Hinny and Remadora

a character I’d die defending I'm gonna say Ron here because wowowowow the movies did him so dirty and people who've only watched the films don't understand how fucking special he is. I've ranted a little about this before if anyone wants to know my thoughts. Suffice it to say, Ron is a very good boy. (I would also "defend" a lot of other characters in the sense that the fandom likes to misrepresent and selectively analyse a lot of the morally grey characters and it pisses me off.)

a character I just can’t sympathize with I was gonna say that I don't have an answer for this one cuz there's something about the way all these characters are written that I can find something that appeals to my humanity about each of them. Except like...Voldy, Bellatrix, and Umbridge I guess. But then I remembered that Peter Pettigrew exists. Yeah okay boohoo you weren't as great a wizard as your besties fuck off I have no time for disloyalty.

a character I grew to love idk if there was anyone I hated who I unconditionally love now? But I did change a lot of my opinions about Snape after DH. I still hate him for bullying children as a full-grown adult (hits too close to home) but he's a much more nuances character that people give him credit for. He's not 100% good or 100% bad, he's just...a person you know? And I love that. I think he's a really great character. (But no, Harry should not have named his child after either Severus or Albus wth?)

my anti otp There's probably nothing that's canon endgame that I hated. A lot of the fanon ships aren't my jam but that's not really my business. I think the one ship that's somewhere in the middle is Luna x Neville cuz the movie tried to do that and I'm like 'uhhhhh no thank you' they have a very nice friendship, there's no reason to squash the last of the main 6 together just cuz.

Send me a fandom ask

[johannstutt413]

(requested by coldgoldlazarus)

“Hey, Rope, question.” Vanilla approached the Cautus while they were both working the northern trading post. “Did you grab a bottle of pills from my pocket earlier?”

“Maybe? Hang on...No, I’ve just got mine in my pocket.” She gave the Vouivre a thumbs-up after patting herself down.

The Vanguard reached into her bag and pulled out a prescription bottle. “You might want to check the label, because these aren’t Biggie’s stomach meds.”

“They aren’t?” She read the label on her bottle. “Oh, okay, so those are my- Oh! Oh, no...”

“It’s fine - I’m just glad we checked before you had to get your stomach pumped, and Biggie melted through his home again. Honestly, it’s really impressive you took them in the first place and remembered to give them back. I remember the last time you accidentally took my wallet and I had to ask Liz to cover lunch for me.”

Rope sighed. “Yeah, that’s good, it’s just...I didn’t want anyone to know, you know? Being infected is one thing, but if people knew, they might look at me differently.”

“...If they knew what?” The Vouivre cocked her head. “I think I’m missing something.”

“Wait, so you didn’t read the bottle?”

Vanilla was steadily getting more confused. “No, I read it, but I don’t know what it is. What do you take Aldactone for? It’s not a migraine medication, is it?”

“No, it definitely isn’t that.” She couldn’t help but chuckle a little at that; she’d forgotten who she was talking to. Telling her couldn’t hurt at this point. “It’s part of my hormone therapy so I can, uh...be the me on the outside I am on the inside, if that makes sense?”

“Not really?” The Vouivre was quick to admit.

To be fair, the Cautus never knew how to answer questions like this. “I’m a woman, but my body doesn’t match - or at least, it didn’t until I met Aak.”

“Oh!” A few puzzle pieces clicked together in her mind. “Now I get it.”

“Good, cuz I don’t know if I could find another way to explain it,” she sighed, relieved.

That didn’t mean that was her last question, though. “Do you not like talking about it?”

“No, I don’t.” For exactly this reason, honestly. “People start asking me all kinds of questions about it, and I just wanna be me, you know? That’s the whole reason I have to worry about the pills and stuff.”

“Right, sorry. I, uh, won’t ask anything else.”

Rope looked at her for a moment before sighing again. “You have a lot of questions, don’t you?”

“Yeah.” Vanilla visibly relaxed. “I don’t want to bother you, though.”

“...Tell you what: buy me dinner, and I’ll answer a couple questions, whatever you’ve got. Sound good?”

That did perk the Vouivre’s interest, and, somewhat unexpectedly, a bit of a blush, too. “I’d like that, yeah. Tonight or...”

“Sure, if you don’t have plans.” That was a very enthusiastic no, apparently. “Cool. Well, I’m gonna take a break, so talk to you later!”

“Uh-huh!” Once she’d left, Vanilla let herself start breathing rapidly before pulling out her phone to text Franka. She had a favor she needed to ask.

--------------------

About an hour after dinner service opened in the cafeteria, Rope got a message from Vanilla saying she was on her way; that’d given the Cautus enough time to pick out something to wear - something without pockets, to keep herself from stealing as much stuff as she might with places to put it - and psyche herself up for a kind of awkward conversation with someone she worked with and hung out with at a couple of parties but didn’t talk to all that much otherwise. Still, that put her in the Top Ten on her “friends and associates” list, since Rope didn’t really talk a lot, period, and she was so innocent and soft...Would’ve been a good mark back in the day, honestly. Course, if she tried anything serious these days, Dobermann would chew her head off, and who knows what Blacksteel would do to her…

Ding-dong! That was her cue. The Cautus gave herself one last once-over and opened the door. “Evening, Va...Vanilla.” Holy shit, she cleaned up well.

“Good evening.” The Vouivre looked more than a little out of her element, admittedly, but that just added to the charm. “I, uh, already got us a table at a place, if that’s alright?”

“Hey, I came in from off the streets; anything’s good enough for me.” True, she did have a couple preferences, but since her...since Vanilla was paying, it wasn’t going to be an issue. What was this, exactly? And wait, didn’t this imply she’d make reservations somewhere? Like people did on dates in movies or whatever?

Doing her best not to jump to conclusions, Rope walked with Vanilla to a nice-looking Siracusan place not too far from her apartment. “This place looks nice, but you didn’t have to spoil me.”

“I know, but uh...I wanted to.” Since there was no way in hell she could be nonchalant about this, she was just going to be as genuine as possible. “We’re at a corner booth, and they aren’t too busy tonight, so we won’t have people listening in on us.”

“Well, well, I didn’t expect you to think of that. Sorry, that sounded meaner than I meant it to be.”

The Vouivre shrugged. “It’s fine - I know people don’t expect it from me. Um, are we drinking tonight, do you think?”

“It’s your money, not mine,” the Cautus replied, “but it’ll probably help if I have a lil’ wine.”

“That works. Excuse me, reservation for 2 for Vanilla?” And with that, their dinner date began.

Once they’d been seated, given a bottle of wine to start with, and ordered their meals, Rope took the lead. “So, you’ve got at least a couple questions for me, right? Wanna make this worth the cash you’re spending on me, after all.”

“How did you know?” That was the most interesting question to her. “Your body says one thing, your heart says another, how do you know which one’s right?”

“I mean, you don’t eat the wrapper, you eat the candy, right? Took some time to figure out why I felt so uncomfortable just, well, being, but as soon as I did, I knew what I wanted to do. Problem is, it’s kinda expensive to get the medications and the surgery and stuff, so for someone stealing just to eat every day, there wasn’t a lot I could do. Then I met Aak, and he helped me out a lot before I got locked up - he’s actually the one who gets me my prescriptions here, too - but I lost some progress since they wouldn’t let me take my meds in prison. The Doctor got me out of there, though, and now I have all the support I need. Sorry, that was more than you asked for.”

Vanilla smiled. “That’s alright; I wanted to ask about all of it. You know, I really had no idea. I mean, even up close, you’re so pretty, I’d never have guessed...”

“Thanks, I think.” Something about that smile raised a question in the Cautus’ mind, so she decided to try and confirm her suspicions. “Where’d you buy that dress, by the way? It looks really good on you.”

“Oh, thank you! Croissant’s resale shop, they might not have another one, but she sells a lot of good stuff for reasonable prices.” It helped that she had a concrete answer, but there was no hiding how happy the Vouivre was to receive that compliment.

Which gave Rope the confidence she needed to say, “It looks like it’s pretty easy to take off, too.”

“Yeah, it’s only got the one strap that...” Vanilla realized what’d happened when the Cautus started giggling. “I was going to ask for help with that later, but I guess you beat me to the punch.”

“If I ever had doubts I was a woman, I definitely don’t right now.”

Now the Vouivre was bright red. “Am I really that obvious?”

“You don’t wear a sign or anything,” Rope replied, still smiling genuinely, “but the way you’ve been looking at me tonight was enough.”

“Yeah, I guess I, um, have been staring...Does this count as a date?”

Rope nodded, having thought she’d regained her composure but finding more giggles to release. “It does now. Oh, man. This was the idea from the beginning, right?”

“I was going to ask you out when I went to give you your meds back,” Vanilla admitted, “so when you asked me to take you out, it was kind of perfect.”

“Wow. I played right into your hands, huh?” The Cautus hadn’t done something like that since she’d tried to pick Miss Swire’s pocket all those months ago - the thing that’d gotten her locked up, actually.

She shrugged. “You kind of did, yeah. We should probably eat our food before it gets too much colder.”

“Shit, how long have we been talking? I lost track.” The ex-thief cut into her steak, watching it bleed with a satisfied smile. “Nice and rare. Oh, sorry, you’re an animal-person, right?”

“W-well, as long as they’re raised humanely, being used for protein isn’t the worst thing that could happen to them. I mean, slugs eat meat, too, although Biggie’s actually doing really well on the low-meat high-protein diet I have him on.” At the mention of her beloved pet, her eyes lit up.

Rope leaned forward. “I’ve seen you driving him around base in a stroller before. You really love him, don’t you?”

“He’s so precious, how could you not!” And as planned, she was off. “Oh, you should have seen him the other day...”

What’d started off with an awkward moment in the trading post was quickly shaping up to be the best night either of them had had in awhile; as the Vouivre began regaling her with stories of her precious pet slugs, the Cautus ate her meal, paying close attention. Vanilla would’ve made an easy mark, it was true, but looking at her now, that was the last thing on Rope’s mind, even though she had plenty of thoughts on what she could do with her...

[chikabika]

I wanna talk about Whole Cake Island too!

So, I’m reading Whole Cake Island right now. And I have THOUGHTS about Sanji and Luffy’s “”””fight””””. And it’s probably nothing anyone hasn’t said before but I’m gonna write it out anyway.

(TL;DR Sanji and Luffy fight and it hurts because they both go for the throat. Also Nami has been through this shit I am surprised she’s putting up with Sanji trying to leave in the slightest.)

So first, yeah, I’m screaming into a pillow because this shit is rough. Let’s get those personal emotions out of the way first. 

Sanji’s whole thing is that he cares and serves, right? His love language is acts of service and that’s primarily shown through feeding people. When we meet the Vinsmokes (I shall not be referring to them as his family) we see pretty quickly that they are the antithesis to everything Sanji is. 

The men are literally said to lack the ability to sympathize or empathize. Not only do we see this is the case, but Reiju says so herself:

They do not value cooking nor food. Judge tells Sanji to never cook again, Niji wastes food.

And, of course, the brothers have no qualms about hitting women. The whole chivalry/won’t hit a women thing is a huge can of worms I don’t feel like unpacking in part because I don’t feel like I could talk about it without discussing women’s power levels and roles in One Piece. And I’ve already digressed too much.

So yeah, the Vinsmokes are the opposite of Sanji and hold none of his values. In fact, they may be why he holds some of his values, because they are as far from the Vinsmoke’s values as possible.

Okay so the two chapters in particular when Luffy and Nami find and confront Sanji! 

Pretty immediately we see that 1. Sanji was not expecting them, 2. He’s distressed that they’re here, and 3. It complicates things for him.

Like, that is not a face of someone happy to see his friends who have come to save him. That is an “oh fuck” face. (And as a sidenote, yeah, it’s a whole lot harder to sacrifice yourself when you’re confronted with the people you’re leaving behind, HUH, SANJI????)

Luffy’s all happy to see him, feels like they’ve accomplished their goal, doesn’t question that Sanji would want to come back. And he’s got things to do! Like save Wano and beat up Kaido! Chop chop Sanji let’s go on adventures! Plus, I would think that Luffy would also have the expectation of his crew that they understand that no one gets to leave if they’re doing it to sacrifice themselves. He’s already shown he’s gonna come get you and Sanji knows this. Sanji’s first arc with them after Baratie was going to save Nami from Arlong and her self-sacrificial bullshit! Luffy’s modus operandi is saying “Oh, you thought you were in a lose-lose situation and the only solution was to sacrifice your happiness and well being? Fuck that! You’re my nakama, let me save you!”

Both Luffy and Nami aren’t questioning Sanji’s wanting to come with them. They’re here, it’s time to go!

And so then we see the surface level reasons why Sanji would say “No, I can’t go with you.” And we also see that he knows Judge is watching him.

I don't think Nami's buying it either. She's done this. She knows what it's like to be trapped by circumstances, to have your loved ones held hostage. And she did this shit too! She fuckin laid it down, lied to her nakama about it all being a farce in her efforts to keep them out of her dangerous situation! Maybe the words sting, but I think this face of hers is even more from her thinking about how they all know eachother so much more, and know how Luffy wouldn't leave one of them behind. So Sanji must be under some real duress right now. Like, I feel like she could extrapolate a lot from what he's saying because she knows that's not who he is. And because she's tried the same shit. And, I wonder if she’s hurting for him because she knows what it’s like.

Every chance she gets, she reiterates that there was nothing between them, that she doesn’t care about them, that she tricked them, and even uses her supposed killing of Usopp as support of her betraying them. She is desperately trying to get them off this island. Arlong is well covered, we all know what’s up.

And, the parallels are pretty clear for Sanji. He’s got family being held hostage (Zeff, and the Strawhats too), and he couldn’t leave anyway because he’s got explosion bracelets on. Plus he’s got his own self-sacrificial streak (which I could guess comes from being raised in a household where you’re told you don’t have any value and everything you do is wrong-the fact that Sanji still cried at Judge’s rejection of him right before his escape speaks to how as a child he still wanted Judge’s approval and love as a father).

So, he comes out swinging with the thing that we previously established would be the shittiest thing to say, that Luffy rejected the possibility of him saying.

And then he starts on this buckwild speech that is so fucking hammed up I almost questioned if Sanji meant for them to understand the opposite of his words, and was just putting on a show for the Vinsmokes.

Nami only says he’s going too far when Sanji starts insulting Luffy’s dream, which the whole crew believes in and supports. 

Also, as a side note, it doesn’t really make sense to me that Nami would just take on the role of “you’re going too far, you can’t believe what you’re saying!” Maybe Chopper would do that cuz he’s gullible and shit. BUT NAMI FREAKIN DID THE SAME SHIT. I would almost expect a “...” speechbubble from her and later her saying something like “He really tried his best to make that look convincing, didn’t he? He’s not very good at it.”

Nami’s savvy!

But anyway, yeah, Sanji tries to go for the throat to push thme away saying shit about Luffy not being able to become the Pirate King. My first reaction to this whole thing was: 

“WOW HE'S REALLY DOING IT, HUH? HE'S LYING THROUGH HIS TEETH TO SAY THE MOST HURTFUL SHIT HE CAN TO HIS LOVED ONES SO THEY'LL STAY AWAY SO HE CAN SACRIFICE HIMSELF TO STOP ANYONE FROM GETTING HURT”

Usopp has tried to leave too, but his situation was different. His reasons were stated clearly and he didn’t try to pretend that all the shit they’ve gone through together and the bonds they’ve formed were fake. Nami, Robin, Sanji? They try to do the “ah, I never loved you” bullshit. 

But Sanji’s is the first time that from the get-go, the audience knows before the confrontation everything that’s going on for the crewmember trying to fake betrayal. With Nami and Robin, we didn’t learn their backstories until after they tried to push people away. With Sanji not only did we get it beforehand, but when Luffy and Nami show up, we are shown the three pieces of information that Sanji thinks about and that motivate him to push his crewmates away:

His hands (his treasures) are bound and threatened.

His nakama are threatened.

Zeff is threatened.

He’s backed into a freakin corner! And he know’s Luffy’s track record on crew members trying to leave! So he goes for the throat and when that doesn’t work (or for the whole performance he’s putting on for the Vinsmokes) he attacks Luffy.

Luffy says he won’t fight Sanji, and I wonder if this is because of Water 7 and Usopp. That fight was so fucking painful, I wonder if Luffy vowed to never fight someone like that again?

Clearly he isn’t getting through to Sanji, even though, to him, Sanji should know what the deal is by now.

So he goes for the throat himself! Which is honestly just heartwrenching on Oda’s part and pretty unfair on Luffy’s part. Though, when has Luffy ever been fair lol. His whole crew agrees his selfishness levels are above emperor!

This page pretty much sums it up:

Also, throughout this entire encounter we get glimpses of Sanji thinking about the crew and meeting Luffy, which is cool to see his internal world somewhat.When Luffy first shows up. I mean. Look at the pain on his face.

This is not a “we have a difference in ideals and are fighting over it and I’m thinking about how we met because I regret that it’s come to this.” fight. It’s not even a fight. It’s Sanji desperately saying “Please leave before you die because of me!”

Actually, maybe it is kind of a fight of ideals because Sanji is fighting to say “leave me behind I’m not worth it” and Luffy’s saying “yes you are.”

For all the extremely clear things going on emotionally for people in this scene, I’m surprised Oda just left Nami’s responses at this. But, since he did, it means I get to interpret them how I please!

This could simply be read as her feeling betrayed and shit. But again, they all know the history of the crew. This could just as easily be her saying “You went too far.” or “I can’t believe you wouldn’t believe in Luffy enough to come back with us.”

I said she could probably guess at him feeling like he’s stuck, backed into a corner. And if I remember correctly she is aware that the Strawhat’s lives are threatened if Sanji doesn’t comply with Big Mom’s wishes. But she probably wouldn’t guess at the bracelets being bombs and doesn’t know (but might guess) at the Baratie being threatened too. Nami knows all about people who claim “family” as an excuse to hurt and bind you.

But basically, I would think for her, it would be a situation of her feeling like at this point Sanji should know Luffy well enough to know he won’t give up, and to trust Luffy enough to take Sanji home. So why the fuck would he try to play this game when they’ve all seen that it doesn’t work? Why say the most hurtful things he can think of? And why not just come home now?

I don’t think she’s angry at him for the betrayal he’s trying to act out, I think she’s angry at him for the betrayal he’s committing for not trusting the crew to get him out of there.

(Again, haven’t read past this part but I could absolutely see later Nami saying “do you think we acted hurt enough for them to buy it?”)

And then of course, the last four pages of the chapter where Luffy clearly calls bullshit on Sanji, saying Sanji felt the pain of his kicks more than Luffy did. And Sanji is just starting to fucking lose it. (panels from right to left)

Like, Luffy. Chill. It hurts so much! But no, he can’t just call Sanji out. He’s gotta go for the kill, present Sanji with an unacceptable situation he knows he can’t refuse. Or at least hopes he can’t refuse. Because for Luffy, Sanji leaving is an unacceptable situation.

Not only will he not eat (which, god, using that against Sanji is almost too much, fuck, Luffy), but he won’t even fucking move so get your ass back here soon before I starve, Sanji.

To use the two very deeply entrenched facts about these characters this way is sure something, huh?

Sanji will feed anyone who is hungry. He cannot stand hunger, almost.

Luffy eats all the damn time and lots and never refuses food. For him to say “i’m going on a hunger strike, I’m not eating until it’s from you” IS JUST SO MUCH.

Also side note god what cruel people to laugh at Sanji’s pain as Niji and Yonji are doing.

Sanji thought he could get away with thinking he’s expendable (just like Judge has said in every time period we’ve seen him on the page) Luffy flat out rejects that. Sanji is essential, an required part of the crew and a required part of Luffy’s dream. Just like the crew have adopted his dream as a part of all of their own ultimate goals, so Luffy is saying that they are all part of his ultimate goal. He has adopted them into him becoming the Pirate King.

And goddamn if this arc isn’t about found family. The blood of the covenant is thicker, don’t cha know.

[ivystjamess]

𝐈 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐈 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐌𝐘 𝐎𝐖𝐍

WHO: @jazziejazxo​ and ivy st.james. ft mentions of: davis, julien, joey, kenna, noah, sammy, otto, lemon, ruby, eli, and winnie. WHEN: fri night. 2/5. WHERE: north hills mall. WHAT: bumping into each other at the mall, jaz and ivy have a heated exchange turned dream sequence of p!nk’s ‘cuz i can leading up to new direction’s regionals competition.

IVY LIKED TO THINK SHE HAD THREE HOMES. her actual one, whatever stage she be performing on (whether that be field or actual stage) and north hills mall. since entering her teenage years, she’d spent about as much time at the mall as she did doing her morning and nightly routines. so naturally, she knew the busy and the less busy times to go on her bi-weekly shopping sprees. thursday night was always pretty mild, and ivy liked it that way. she didn’t want to deal with a bunch of other people while shopping, who would? as she stepped onto the escalator to head down to the main floor, she caught the unmistakable gaze of jaz evans standing by the fountain and glaring daggers up at her. at this realization, ivy expedited her time on the escalator by walking down to give jaz a piece of her mind.

jaz’s intentions weren’t malicious at first. part of jaz’s goal for this semester was to refocus on the things that really matter. She was helping ND win regionals, being the best possible friend/sister/daughter, and checking drama at the door. after spending an entire weekend in bed and in constant worry that her voice wouldn’t recover from her random weekend sickness, jaz was more focused on these goals than ever. she was at the mall searching for the perfect gift to thank her mom for both taking care of her all weekend and helping her prep vocally for her big competition debut. but when she spotted ivy, all of that focus went out of the window. suddenly she was feeling just as insecure as she did when vocal adrenaline stormed the auditorium. her gaze didn’t waver even as ivy picked up speed. who did she think she was?

stepping up to the other girl, ivy shrugged her purse up on to her shoulder and flashed the fakest of smiles, “jaz so funny to see you here!” she started mild before concluding with a blunt, “i like couldn’t help but notice that look you were giving me.” a signature ivy st.james condescending pout graced her lips before she continued, “all shook up from the fundraiser? or was it our performance last week?” she asked with the tilt of her head. relations between ivy and jaz hadn’t always been so tense, in fact, they had a pretty healthy relationship prior to the blow up in the green room at sectionals. jaz always encouraged ivy to maybe be a little kinder, and ivy encouraged jaz to trust her talent a little more. that was all well and good until jaz had made it personal. taking ivy’s spot as captain? doing that duet with julien on the ski trip? ivy figured maybe jaz was a little ruthless with all this effort clearly being put into making her angry or jealous and arguing with her. with all this pent up frustration toward her former friend, ivy had no problem letting venom flow off her tongue unrestrained. “well, i have to get going! good luck with like, buying new directions’ cheap-o costumes or whatever you’re doing here. hopefully you find something that can hide the inevitably horrible choreography you’re going to be doing tomorrow. bye!” and with that, ivy turned her back, ready to walk away.

in a few blunt and nasty words, ivy had somehow confirmed all of the misconceptions jaz had made about this girl. somehow this new ivy was so bitter about not getting her way at sectionals that she literally transferred schools to create a “aha i told you so” moment. jaz was suddenly extremely angry at ivy, more than just disappointed. could she have been the reason davis just stopped talking to her out of the blue? jaz’s mouth moved faster than her brain could process. “honestly, whatever, ivy. just storm out or something…it’s the only thing you’re good at.” jaz spoke, venom dripping off of her words. she rolled her eyes and turned around, mumbling. “how were we even friends?”

wondering if maybe she had been a little too harsh, ivy froze in her place. obviously she didn’t want things to be this way. but ivy made her bed and had no problem laying in it. sure, there were surges where she missed the team, or the little moments like going to the pumpkin patch with jaz. it was the same as she got her surges of missing julien. but those days were over and gone. now? they were at war. 

both still heated from the exchange, their backs still turned, suddenly rock music began sounding throughout the mall as the pair aggressively whipped around to face each other. speaking over the music, jaz began ‘Rock and Roll, Rock! And I drink more than you! And party harder than you do! And my car's faster than yours too!’ making disgusted vocalizations at each other complete with lots of eye rolls and aggressive expressions, ivy pushed past jaz and strutted to the bathroom as she sang ‘P.I.N.K. P.I.M.P I'm back again I know y'all missed me.’ 

as the bathroom door swung open, ivy was suddenly in a locker room, donning work out gear. in the locker room, ivy continued to sing as she sat down on a bench and began taping up her hands, ‘Yeah I talk shit just deal with it.’ hands now taped, ivy continued to sing hostilely, slamming locker doors shut as she passed, the final one slamming shut as she belted, ‘You can try and try you can't be me!’

at the chorus, ivy and jaz both sounded as they popped up in different locations. ivy could be seen doing a variety of activities such as jumping rope, doing laps around an empty boxing gym characterized by black and blue ropes and banners, as well as sit ups all while davis lingered in the background either timing her, egging her on, or sitting on her feet as she did her sit ups. jaz, on the otherhand, remained in a gym decorated similarly to the other one, but with red and white adornments. in work out gear similar to ivy’s jaz also did a number of training activities; push ups, speed punching a punching bag, and running up and down the stands while julien stood by encouragingly as her coach. as this training went on they sang in perfect harmony, “but it's alright, I don't give a damn, I don't play your rules, I make my own, tonight I'll do what I want 'Cause I can”

when the chorus came to an end, the focus was pulled to jaz coming up from a push up and looking directly forward and singing, “I know I'm rare, you stop and stare, You think I care, I don't You talk real loud, But you ain't saying nothing cool” rising to her feet, she passed julien and gave him a high five as she moved to grab a water bottle and continued singing. glistening with sweat and aggression in her eyes, she arrived to the end of her verse and dramatically dumped the contents of her water bottle over her head as she belted out, ‘You can try and try you can't be me!’

moving into the second chorus, ivy and jaz were suddenly in a filled arena full of cheering fans. in ivy’s corner, eli, winnie, kenna, and sammy could be spotted sporting their TEAM IVY shirts in the front row, while in jaz’s corner noah, otto, lemon, and ruby could be spotted wearing their TEAM JAZ shirts as they cheered for the impending match. cutting between ivy and jaz as they entered with davis and julien from their tunnels, their voices again joined as they eyed each other from across the arena and sang their angst out. 

jaz hopped into the actual arena first where joey stood center in a referee’s shirt, but ivy was close behind. they were both followed by their respective coaches. as the bridge arrived, joey called the competitors to the middle of the ring. ivy and jaz shrugged off their blue and red robes and made their way to the center of the ring. while joey soundlessly laid out the rules of the boxing match, ivy and jaz’s eyes narrowed as they stared each other down. jaz began singing ‘yeah I'm super thick, people say I'm much too chick’ now verbally competing, ivy tauntingly cut her off, ‘come and kiss the ring, you just might learn a couple things.’ they were equally matched though as jaz now jumped in with ‘i'm tryin' to school ya dogs--’ but was abruptly stopped by joey blowing his whistle (which sounded a lot like ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff) and signaling their conduct was disorderly. paying no mind to the ref, ivy got right back in on the action with ‘i'm your worst nightmare.’ followed by a ‘bring it we can take it there’ from jaz, then concluded with ivy belting ‘what are you scared?’ over jaz singing the chorus.

with the climax of the song behind them, the last two sets of the chorus were filled with cut scenes of ivy and jaz leaning up against the ropes and vocalizing individually, circling each other in the rink ready to strike, and retreating to their corners to talk to their coaches. occasionally, a fan or two got rowdy enough in the crowd that it cut to their equally as energized antics, but when all was said and done, ivy and jaz stood in front of the north hills mall fountain wearing their normal clothes, backs facing each other, and absolutely silent other than the water bubbling beside them.

eventually both seem to come to the conclusion, it wasn’t worth engaging with one another. it would only be trouble, and a stinging reminder of friendship lost. it was easier to say nothing at all. so ivy stuck her chin up in the air, and jaz pushed some hair behind her ears, and they carried on their separate ways. 

THE END.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #414

“mirror, mirror, tell me who you see  /  am i you or me?  /  i can never remember”

How many people have you kissed? Four. Ever kissed someone you weren’t dating at the time? No. Of the people you’ve kissed, how many do you regret kissing? Two. Ever been kissed by a legal adult when you were a minor (or vise-versa)? Yeah, with Jason, but it was only a two-year difference. Ever kissed someone on a dare/as part of a game? No. Where’s the most public place you’ve ever made out with someone? Nowhere public. I wouldn't do that. Can you snowboard? Never tried. Have you ever made a mixed cd for someone? No. Do you use recycle bins at your house? Yes. Do you own more than one bathing suit? No. Have you ever kissed someone who smokes weed? Jason did occasionally with his best friend, but he stopped for me. How are you right this second? I'm all right. Last night was pretty rough, so I'm just glad that's over. My body is just tired. Is there anything you disliked about your last birthday? Honestly, I barely remember what I did on my last birthday. I just remember it was fine. Oh wait, actually, on the way home from going out to eat, we had to call the cops while behind a car whose driver was obviously drunk or high OFF. HIS. ASS. He was swerving like crazy and almost hit SO many cars. I was having an absolute panic attack. I pray to God that guy was more than just found and fined. Do you keep a diary or journal (offline or online)? No, unless you count surveys, I guess. What were you like a year ago? I was the unhappily the same. Is someone on your mind right now? Fucking always. Having a warm dream about him last night didn't help. Who was the last person you sat next to? My mom. What do you currently hear right now? My screen is split so I can watch John Wolfe play some indie horror games. What’s something you need to go shopping for? I need to get new bras baaaadly because I'm tired of none fitting properly. What’s the last thing you ate? I had a donut 'cuz Mom stopped at Dunkin' for coffee. Do/did you do good in school? I did up to college. Then I just... sucked. Do you always get along with your siblings? I mean I don't see/talk to them every day or anything, not even very regularly even, but we generally get along fine now as adults. We disagree about shit for sure, but keep our mouths shut. Or probably talk to Mom about it while I'm not present. I don't even think they like me half of the time. Are you frustrated with anything? So much. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? There were/are a lot of factors. Just she as a person is phenomenal. What’s your younger sibling’s name? Nicole. Can you speak in a different language conversationally; if so, which language? A tiny bit of German. Do you ever fear of falling asleep? With my nightmares, I used to dread it. Now, thankfully, my APAP mask has prevented them from happening, mostly; I've only had two in the month that I've had it, and I ordinarily had them every single night. Do you have an idea of what kind of profession you’d like to have? I do, but I honestly doubt I'm going to succeed in even making it a part-time job by this damn point. Which beach would you say is your favorite? I don't have a favorite. I don't even like the beach very much. What kind of cookie is your favorite? Chocolate chip. Have you ever had a churro? Yes. Too crunchy and ridiculously sweet, not a fan. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? A good personality beats good looks any day. How is/was your chemistry class in high school? I actually didn't take chemistry; my graduating year, physical science was offered as the alternative, which I took. How does alcohol affect you? I get hot, and my face flushes badly. It'll make me more talkative. Have you ever tried lemon brownies? No, and I don't want to. I don't like lemon-flavored stuff like that. What was the last type of meat you ate? Beef. Have you taken any medication today? I have prescriptions I take every day. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? I've seen some of it at Sara's house. What is your favourite kind of pasta? Just spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs, really. I've been on a major chicken pesto kick lately, though. Have you set an alarm today? No. Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names: Literally just the chance to say "I'm sorry" would be fucking amazing. Just two fucking words. What if there were two of you? Would the world be in trouble? No. That'd be a waste of space, though. Not like I'm contributing much to society. Would you prefer an ice cream sundae or an ice cream cone? I dunno man, it depends on my mood and what I want in the moment. Do you watch movies with the subtitles on? No; I find it to be distracting. Is the last person you kissed yours? I hate this saying. She's her own person that belongs to nobody but herself. But to just go along with it and answer the question, no, we're not together. Do you think you will be married by the time you are 25? Welp, I'm halfway through 25, so. Do you have siblings over the age of 21? All of my siblings are. Do you have a hard time admitting you’re wrong? No. Especially as I've aged, I'd say I'm pretty quick to accept if I've fucked up. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? Jason will probably always have that power, even if he's not in my life. Would you ever be a stripper? God no, nobody wants to see that. What are your plans for tomorrow? Just get through the day, man. Do you owe anybody money? No. How would your parents describe you? Reserved, shy, a deep thinker, animal lover, uhhhh... What is the most you have ever weighed? Let's not. Would you ever work at McDonald's? No. I'm never working in food service. If you aren't already, would you go vegetarian or vegan? I want to be a vegetarian and being a vegan would be perfectly ideal for me, but I really don't think I can healthily accomplish either. I am FAR too picky to where I'd almost definitely become malnourished. To make it even worse I absolutely cannot "suck it up" if I don't like a food, so it's not like I could choke down stuff I don't like. Not to mention I'd be pretty sad without any yummy food to look forward to, aha. Coolest person you've ever met? Uhhhh I don't know. Do you wear boxers? No. Girls, how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon? I don't remember. Would you ever attend a gay pride parade or festival? I would absolutely love to. Did you see Paranormal Activity 2? I think I've seen all of the movies. I liked them, given paranormal horror films are probably my fave. What would you do if an old man grabbed your ass? Kick him in the fucking balls so goddamn fast and probably slap him across the face at the same time. Probably cry later from feeling violated and having my fear of men aggravated. Do you like moustaches? It depends on the person, but I'd say I generally prefer an attached beard and a mustache versus JUST a mustache. Could you hack into someone's computer if you tried hard enough? No. I have no idea how to do that. Have you ever smoked a cigar? No. Do you go out on Black Friday? Hell no. NOT worth fighting people for deals. Do you have curtains in your bedroom? No; I have those blinds that you can close upwards or downwards. Did you like the Spice Girls when you were little? Yeah, I did. Can you sing the entire Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song? I think I can. Do you get heartburn? I'm literally on an antacid prescription, or else I get insane heartburn every day. Are you scared of elevators? To a moderate degree, yes. I'm terrified of it getting stuck. Have you ever seen a dead body in person? Yes, at an open-casket wake. Have you ever seen The Goonies? I have. If you're white, do you ever wish you were black? Or vice versa? I'm fine being Caucasian, but ultimately don't care. Do you bake cookies all the time around Christmas? I don't bake. Do you like your hair pulled? Uhhh... I'm assuming you mean this in a suggestive context, in which case no. Never pull my hair, actually. What kind of jeans do you like? Ripped skinny jeans. What do you think is overrated? Who really cares. Let people enjoy what they enjoy. And what are your goals for the remainder of this year? Lose lots of weight, find a job, get back into old hobbies and develop new ones... Name a city that starts with A in your state/province etc. Asheboro. Name a landmark that starts with M in your state/province etc. I'm blanking right now. When was the last time you gave a horse a carrot? Been years. I think I've only done that once, and I can't even remember where it was. Have you ever had to shovel snow? No. How many seasons is your favorite TV show in so far? MM was just revived for its fifth season! :') Where would you most like to go in your state, etc. that you haven’t been? NC actually has this really old Wizard of Oz theme park! It's on the other end of the state, though, and NC is one wiiiiiide state. What was the last bird you saw? A robin, I think. What color was the last thing you drank? Green. Has a wild animal ever been loose in your house? Besides insects, no. Well wait, scratch that, once or twice we had a small mice problem when we lived in the woods. What’s the name of the bookstores in your city? The only one I know off the top of my head is Books-a-Million. Where do your parents live? I live with my mom, and Dad lives in the same city as us. Have you ever seen or touched an iceberg? No, but that would be cool. What colour are your father’s eyes? Brown. If your ex turned up on your doorstep now, with nowhere else to go, would you let him/her stay? Well one, this isn't my house, so I can't make that decision. My mom being who she is though, she'd let pretty much anyone stay the night. If it was Sara, Mom would let her stay as long as she needed. The last time you cried, was it connected with someone of the opposite sex? Ugh, yes. My PTSD was BAD last night. Delicious warm brownies or a giant cookie? I'll take the brownie. Have you visited a haunted building or area before? No, but damn I'd love to. Have you been to North Carolina? Ayyyyeeeee that's my home.

[lunchador]

so when do we get the long post about your feelings about dragon age inquisition!!! i dunno if u wanna wait until dlc or not! i am i n t e r e s t e d (also its ok if u dont feel up to it im just!!!! again, interested in ur opinions/feelings)

kajsldkjf PLEASE I HAVE SO MANY DA FEELINGS ALL THE TIME and Inquisition was twice as long as the others so might as well do a word vomit now and I can always do another after the dlc (which several people have assured me are worth playing )

SO

Yeah so inquisition is long. I dislike open world games so a lot of the (super repetitive!!) side quests did grate on my nerves and that docks this game a few points but over all the LORE IS SO GOOD, and it tying in so many choices in from 1+2 is the greatest butterfly effect I ever experienced in video games. I thought telltale + Until dawn were fun for that but good LORD bioware has showed up all of those games and I am really stoked to try mass effect when its out later and play more bw games. I only played Anthem before this and that game seemed...idk, gutted against BW’s wishes.

ANYWAY

Yeah, I managed to go into the whole DA series knowing very, very little, despite how many artists I followed did fanart for it. Once I started playing, I added all the words I could think of to my blacklist but a lot of untagged stuff came through (fair, series is 10+ years old and inq is like what 4-5?). I allowed my friends to pressure me into playing an elf mage for the lore and to romance solas cuz they said he was as important to the story as alistair was. A lot of online followers said I should play how I wanted, which I def would recommend to anyone else, but honestly I can see where they came from and while he never would have been my first choice, I think he actually paired REALLY well with my Inq and how I was playing her. I put her as sensitive but trying to put her responsibility above herself, she was definitely the least funny of my 3 characters, but not incredibly serious. A bit reserved? Just more mature. She’s got faith but she didn’t think she was the chosen one but she’ll do her role the best of her ability. She makes hard decisions and then sobs her chest empty over them because how is one to ever feel like its the right one? I really like how the game lets you choose how you wanna approach the responsibility. Like i said, I wasn’t a reluctant chosen one, but she will do what she can. Versus my friend playing at the same time as me said he played as the second coming of jesus essentially lmfao Having so many characters come back for different roles was so GOOD!!! Like everyone told me Varric was in this one but were like ‘teehee you still cant romance him though’ but you how you play drastically changes your relationships with each person. Tons of characters I met I knew would be personal favorites but I ended up interacting way less because others were more fitting to my inquisitor. So i.e while I love Varric and would’ve smooched him a heartbeat with Hawke, I didn’t get that vibe with Clover. They were really good friends, he was a grounded friend with a sense of humor that was a good escape from everyone else and the ~inquisition~. At least, until the Beyond the Abyss quest. That obviously heavily fractured their friendship and hurt them both :( And i felt that for a long time, until the end. He looked tired. Poor guy is gonna be borderline dead in 4 at this point. But so many side characters you talk to coming back like Dagna and Samson??? Speaking of that quest, I got Stroud because, yeah...Alistair was dead for me and APPARENTLY IT COULD ALSO BE LOGHAIN??? If he stays a grey warden??  wish I did that so def would’ve preferred to save Hawke even if I think the wardens are more important as a concept but like.......i wanted to behead him, so....But yes even tiny details like..Varric wrote home to kirkwall to Carver for me because the rest of my family was dead and I never completed a full romance in 2 lkajslkdjf but the fact that changes based on your play through. BUT YEAH THE way this game weaves all your decisions in and how yeah, overall the story is the same but it makes it so personal to YOU and so different from everyone else ;w;

But I could see my Inq genuinely falling for Solas, and I see her best friends as Cassandra and Blackwall/Thom. Really close to Leliana and the Iron Bull as well. I just loved all their interactions. All the characters were so cool to get to know?? Like I thought I would’ve hated Cullen (hes a dick in O) and tbh I just got into the series as the VA was being a complete shit. But I liked him a lot!! I love the work buddies vibes between the Inq and the advisors. I thought I was going to love Sera!! And like, I did, but she hated my Inquisitor and their personalities clashed a lot. Shes the only one i didn’t get a cut scene for in the end :’) I loved coming back from story quests and having to take like 20 minutes to go around skyhold and make sure I talked to /everyone/ for their new dialogue. You genuinely feel connected to all these wonderful npcs ljkasljdf

I wanted to make Cassandra the new divine but I made leliana on accident and kinda dug it so I stuck with it. VARRIC IS THE NEW VISCOUNT??? h i l a r i o u s.

One of the things I loved the most in this game in particular, and while this is something in all of them it just really struck me in this one, was....everyone gave up so so much to devote themselves to the cause, y’know?? Like, it’s almost heartbreaking how much everyone loses and they’re still looking towards you with their belief and willingness to follow you to the end ;-;

The final fight almost felt, Idk, underwhelming? Dude dragons are way tougher than him asdkjhfkhjd. I even went up a difficulty in this game after feeling like I got the hang of the series. But at the same time, we just spend how many hours knocking down each and one of his advantages so fuck him lol.

But yeah there are so many things I wanted to do but I felt so worn out by mindless sidequests and story being level locked in comparison to the previous games. askdjhflkd

One of the things that blows my mind is so so many people were stoked i was playing DA and they couldn’t wait til I got to Inq, and so I find out most people I know only ever played Inquisition? TBH if I didn’t play O+2 I think I would’ve dropped inquisition and never finished it *shrug* all of the build up just means SO MUCH!!! Everyones argument seems to be the older games are ugly and yeah O has rough battle system but its easy to get over imo. Like, you need the chaos of 2 to get the real weight of the mage/templar stuff?? Theres so many characters and story and dialogue that go over your head without Origins?? Like yes inq can stand alone pretty well but, idk, I’m in love with this entire series and the world building and THE!! WAY!!! IT!!! ALL!!! CONNECTS!!!!!!!!!!!

I love how a quest can go differently by whos in your party, I love you can have more dialogue based on lore you’ve managed to pick up around, I love HOW COMPANIONS BICKERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! The lore of these games are so good. It’s like playing an epic line of novels. It’s so immersive and I don’t think I’ve played too many games to this level.

I didn’t like the skill trees to being a mage in this one, Idk why. It wasn’t nearly as fun for me as 2, but then  again I really fucking liked being a force mage haha. I wanted to be a rogue to complete a diff class per game but everyone said mage brings a lot more interesting story/lore stuff so

but yeah I love having the full context now and seeing other peoples Wardens/Hawkes/Inquisitors and asking people how they played and how their options differed from mine and THERES JUST SO MANY POSSIBLE DECISION TREES!!!!! No wonder the fans play over and over.

but yeah ultimately so much fucking happened?? I’m probably missing a lot of key points.

[cynical-amphisbaenia]

yes hello amygda i've been lurking here for quite some time and it's lovely but honestly i don't feel like saying the usual wOw YoUr BlOg Is 100% GuD and i AdOrE iT stuff. i mean your blog actually is and i do but it almost feels obligatory when every single ClasspectMe ask does that. and le oops, i spilled it - it'd be nice to hear your ideas about my Mythological Role! i've been searching for the right one for some time now. i trust your knowledge, though.

anyway personality is the first thing i want to describe. and the hardest one as well. you see, a common thing in my life is that i can't remember anything. like literally i remember less than 1% of everything that happened to me, ever. it's easier to describe what i was feeling than what actually happened. it's a genetic thing iirc because my mom has that too, but that's beside the point. i'm quite a talkative person and i tend to do the thing i did like a sentence before a lot. i used to be described as "impulsive and agressive" but that isn't true anymore, i can contain myself. that's probably the thing that led to my emotions being kind of, uh, separate from my mind. by that i mean i actually know i felt something a little bit after the fact, i just, i dunno, ignore it so hard i don't even acknowledge the feeling. that led to me joking about "selling my soul to a demon" as an explanation and the joke is still running

i kind of roleplay an arrogant piece of shit? not as a Knight-type persona but like for fun and not actually annoying anyone too much, and basically everyone knows i do. no self-worth problems though

surprisingly i don't have any problems typical for people my age and my family isn't a bunch of assholes, which has both led me to living a life in "easy mode" and to me being spoiled enough not to give a shit about basically anything. it's not a depressed thing: there are little to none things that motivate me besides "i have to" and "i'll literally die if i won't", and even the ones that exist don't seem to have any relation to one another. i'd say i'm an ambivert, but that would imply that i get energy from both being alone and from being with people, and i don't get it at all. i'd also say i'm a pessimist, but honestly i'm just an optimist that tries really hard to be pessimistic and it really shows sometimes, like when i tell my friends some edgy sarcastic shit and then help someone for no reason or give a stranger a chocolate bar or something. i do that a lot for my actual friends though and i actually have no problem making friendos and opening up to anyone

i use mutedHypocrisy as my chumhandle-ish nickname because 1. i don't really judge anyone out loud? i have are a lot of bUdDiEs with DEBATABLE opinions but i just don't discuss it almost ever, keeping to myself. not really a reason for this. and 2. because of my extremely unique memory i usually dont havr or don't remember any opinions of my own except for some really important ones, which had led me to saying two opposite takes on the same thing to a single person, them going "what the fuck", and that happened more than a single time.

on to symbols. well, the tarot cards mark me as The Star and my fate as a fate of The Fool. which is shown by me being, well, talented enough and having a lot of freedom but not enough ambition to really use it, making me basically useless. also the star thing? its number is 17 and the one before is 16, which is the Tower, which is a fucking cataclysm, and the thing is me being a few hours away from being born under "the tower" is also reflected in the situation in which i was born. i won't elaborate though cuz thats personal shit.

i guess fate kind of likes playing with me? in a friendly way. like i'm always in the best circumstances possible BUT i get trolled by luck along the way. like that friend who pranks you a lot but is actually a nice person and is fun to be around, the world around me feels, as i already said, "easy mode". a lot of people have it worse. i feel bad because i've got everything one could ever want but zero motivation and ambition to do things. and it's not even a "willpower" problem, because that thing helps me do A LOT and is the only reason i'm still functional.

i seem to have an affinity for the things i hate, even though this sounds stupid as fuck. i may despise something completely but i'll be like the meme about a guy who says "disgusting" and keeps looking anyway.

i perceive things as a play, making myself a fourth-wall-breaker type of character. i don't think i take it too seriously but that's kinda fun. i think it started when i noticed that my life and the projects i participate in have some patterns that don't change at all. it's not a thing about some situations always being the same, it's some specific things -- the beginnings and endings of ppl's relationships in the friend group, their roles there and my relationships with the people on em, for example. that's some conspiracy theorist shit right there though.

i don't think i can describe my arcs? i don't remember them. like i mean i was literally babied throughout my whole life, even if not in a way i hate or in an overbearing/limiting way. i had some anger issues and despised rules, but that's a teenager thing mostly -- i respect them now for the most part.

if there's anything important i forgot please tell me!!! can't describe my own ass right if i don't remember 95% of my life. love your work anyway.

Well, as much as it's appreciated, it's definitely not obligatory! And I hope no one feels that it is. Now, there's a few possible options. The main things to consider are Rogue or Mage of Heart and Heir or Maid of Mind, though you may also want to consider Void or Breath as the aspects.

You lack Heart in various ways, though not completely. You still try to take on various opinions or roles. This could be due to being a Rogue of Heart. Rogues tend to lack their aspects, and the taking on of opinions/roles could be stealing Heart. You do seem to focus on things like emotions and relationships, and especially your lack of motivation. Mages can also lack their aspect, but this tends to cause them to suffer - you don’t appear to focus on suffering too much, so it’s not as likely as Rogue. However, if you feel that you attempt to experience Heart to learn about it rather than simply just taking it on, then you might want to consider it. 

Alternatively, you could be an Heir of Mind - this is less likely as you only seem to have focus on the roles and adaptability of Mind while you focus on many more parts of Heart. However, if you were so caught up in those things like an Heir could be, it might explain why you ignore those things and lack parts of Heart as well. A Maid is also likely to get caught up serving only particular parts of their aspect - again, this is less likely than Heir as you seem to change Mind rather than create it, but you might feel differently on this. 

To decide between the Heart or Mind would depend on how you define things like your roleplay - does it feel like an exploration and taking (or experiencing) of Heart or does it feel like a changing/creating of roles which would suit Mind?

You could also consider Void if it feels like the circumstances of your life causes you to live in confusion and if it feels like your lack of memory is the main focus rather than it causing you to miss parts of Heart. Reading what you gave me it doesn’t seem to be the case, but you could decide otherwise. In a similar way, Breath could be an option if you feel disconnected from things, especially as you do focus a bit on freedom. For both of these aspects you could consider Heir, Maid or Mage as an option, especially as with Breath you’re clearly not connected to parts of it like motivation.

Hopefully this helps! Sorry it’s a lot of options, so feel free to ask me anything to help you narrow it down. ^^

[normal-thoughts-official]

Thoughts on Maryse actually earning a redemption? I liked her character post redemption but the whole arc felt rushed, unearned, and too easy. Especially with her victims (both her children and downworlders like Magnus) forgiving her so easily like she didn't do anything that bad...

oh mood. i actually have lowkey conflicted feelings on the whole maryse thing because like, on the one hand, they didn't do the thing i hate the most with this kind of "arc" - having the character b like "sorry that i was an asshole" and then continue to be an asshole but not on purpose this time and so it's fine now. on the other hand, they did the opposite - maryse did actually change and become a non-abusive person, but it didn't fucking make sense and she basically never bothered to acknowledge that she was a uhhhh terrible fucking person

there's also lowkey projection feelings that make me a little fond of maryse, like, damn, i wish my mom just decided one day that transphobia isn't sexy and completely changed overnight. u know? lmao

but anyway yeah i do have thoughts on a maryse redemption arc that doesn't suck ass. especially because i think there are elements that could make a cohesive story if the show actually, like, bothered with them. i'll warn u that i'll mostly ignore the cheating plotline because 1- it has kinda yikes vibes like "oh she's suffered now so we have to forgive her", and 2- i don't really care about cheating plotlines tbh. like rationally i can understand that it's essentially betrayal of an agreement, but emotionally, i simply don't understand why anyone would give a fuck lol i just can't connect emotionally with it in any way so it feels very abstract and forced for me to write about

so i think the starting point for her redemption would be her being deruned. so i’m gonna start from there, and just assume that everything that went down before the announcement of her deruning was the same

i say the deruning because like.... her entire life, this was her absolute top priority. being a shadowhunter. being a part of that society. upholding these values. being essentially shadowhunter royalty. and now, she's lost that. and she's forced to look back at everything that she did without the looming threat of her losing what she's been working so hard for (since she already did) and it suddenly feels way clearer

not that like oh she never realized how shitty she was! she fucking knew how shitty she was. there's no way she didn't. she manipulated her children, she purposefully humiliated them and withheld affection, she hurt them, she participated in genocide, she killed people, and she did it with the intent of doing all those things. but i think - especially with the part about that her children - that the way she looked at this was always distorted by the fact that the clave/the lightwood name/her position of power and prestige took precedence. also, the constant threat that she would lose that meant that she could justify it to herself saying that it was what she had to do. now, she can no longer do that, because it's already happened. and guess what? life went on now that she's deruned. so she's forced to look at everything that she did for her position as a shadowhunter from a distance this time, because her goals are unattainable now, and that means she can look at it more rationally, especially since she ran out of excuses. and here's the picture: none of it was worth it

and i'm talking about her children specifically. the literal fascism shit is more complicated since like, she is a radical racist and i don't think she would see a problem with that, tbh. she has no reason to care about that, yet

so okay, she's looking back and she realizes not only that her excuses for her behavior were made of paper, but also that her priorities were all fucked up, because now that she's deruned, it isn't that in itself that hurts her the most. it's the fact that she's alone

and again, i don't mean that like, boo hoo, poor her. that was the consequence of her own actions and honestly good for all the people in her life that they didn't feel obligated to give her emotional support when she was out there ruining their lives

what i do mean is that this is what moves her to want to change and mend things, if anything, because she wants comfort

and initially she would be super fucking selfish and shitty about it, because like..... obviously, maryse was selfish. she might have said "lightwood name" this and that, but let's be real here, she wasn't even born a lightwood to care all that much about that. it was about her, her power, her prestige. if overnight the lightwood name stopped being a symbol of status she would drop it like a hot potato, she held it close to her chest because it meant ascension for her personally. she manipulated her children and drew away her friends and supported genocide for herself, not out of some obligation with the concept of lightwoodship or whatever

she would try to "mend" her relationship with her children for herself, and it would show. robert would probably drop her like a hot potato too after the deruning, lbr, and i don't think she cared all that much about him anyway, so i'll focus on izzy, alec, and jace. jace is kind of weird since she was never shown to abuse him, but she also was willing to throw him on the trash when she found out he was valentine's kid, so. but overall i think he would be the one to mend his relationship with her more easily, but also - jace is just as selfish as her and even more self centered, so she wouldn't get a lot of support/satisfaction out of that relationship

so she tries to make things better with alec and izzy and they're both like... lol. especially alec because as we've seen he had no qualms about being completely ruthless with maryse once he broke out of her claws (good for him!) and while izzy had this whole "i don't care about maryse" facade.... she did, honestly. like she was visibly hurt by maryse not hugging her despite that being expected, and maryse's presence there in itself was enough for her body language to completely change. when izzy wanted to prove that she could be mature, she emulated maryse's style. so i think, especially since izzy was obviously the fuckup kid, that a part of her is kind of desperate to get any sort of approval or affection from maryse

but that doesn’t mean that she’s going to humiliate herself for maryse, and she also gets some satisfaction in being able to flip the tables and be the one to reject her, for once. and alec is straight up like... “you never gave us any support, but now that you’ve lost everything, you want it from us? i’m just doing what you taught us, mother”

i think jace would probably be the one to be like “oh, come on, alec, she wasn’t that bad” almost scoffing at the idea and it’s just like... “between what she did to me, izzy, and magnus, she has to work a lot harder if she wants my forgiveness” and maryse is kind of taken aback because tbh up to this point she hadn’t given any thought whatsoever to what she did to magnus or downworlders in general

she’s probably kind of appalled by the idea tbh

but she also starts to like... lowkey... get it? i mean obviously she’s not a downworlder and she’ll never suffer what downworlders went through, but now that shadowhunter society has turned her back on her, now that she’s become depised by them too, she has a tiny little taste of what it feels like, and it’s not nice

especially cuz like, again... robert would drop her like a hot potato lol and like i don’t even blame him cuz she wasn’t exactly a great wife either and maryse would have done the same, i don’t think either of them ever had any illusions when it came to their marriage tbh. but robert uses her exact m.o. against her (since well, it was his, too) and that means that she gets to feel at least a little bit of forced sympathy for the people she’s done the same thing to

so i think she would come to luke (no i’m not going a lukemaryse route keep calm)

and luke is kind of like... well, i was waiting for this to happen. you know, because he is the one to comes closest to having been in maryse’s situation, since he’s also an ex-shadowhunter - except worse because he’s been turned downworlder, not just mundane

and it’s the first time she actually shows some level of empathy because she’s kind of like “i was just wondering... how did you deal with it when they... when all of us... turned our backs on you?” and she apologizes for that and that shocks luke because he didn’t expect it 

and it’s easier for luke to forgive her because 1- it’s been a while; 2- they aren’t super close; 3- luke was also a fascist so like lmao; 4- there is one (1) person who understands what he went through, kinda. again not really because being a downworlder is way worse than mundane but who else comes close?

and look i’m not saying they become best friends or anything but they have a good talk about what it was like, and maryse is again forced to meet her own shittiness dead in the eye because when luke talks about what he went through when he was Turned, well, maryse was there. and now she is basically forced to empathize with him, who was on the other side, and see herself as the tormentor that other people are being to her now

and like again it’s not like she didn’t know that she was a shitty ass person and what she was doing was terrible but now all the walls he had put up to avoid acknowledging that are straight up torn down

she apologizes and he just kind of shrugs because it’s not like he’s gonna be like “yeah np lol” and this is not the kind of thing that you resolve easily, especially after such a long time, so it’s awkward. but again, he doesn’t exactly resent her anymore either, he’s more kind of... neutral i guess. like he made his peace with it a long time ago and an apology from one of the people involved is way more than he ever expected to get, so

also maryse doesn’t cry her woes because she is way too proud for that, which means that luke doesn’t have to deal with her Shadowhunter Tears on top of everything else. it’s more the opposite, really, it’s luke who talks and maryse who listens, and for the first time, luke gets to talk about how he felt about being turned and shunned without... i don’t want to say fear, but like, reservation? because obviously talking about this with a downworlder is worse and more awkward and more painful. because maryse was essentially worse than him, he gets to talk about it without shame, if that makes sense? and he also gets to say everything he’s always wanted to say to shadowhunters/circle members in general, and it does him good

they go their separate ways and luke is left feeling emotionally exhausted from reopening that wound but also like its scar has faded further, you know? and maryse is starting to actually genuinely want to be better, not just to convince people to not leave her

also, luke is by far the one who treated her best up to this point, so she feels a little lighter, even if it was far from a good interaction

i think the next she would go to would be magnus?? kinda?? like not right away of course, this isn’t shtv so i’m going with a long timeline that involves plenty of her living as a mundane and Thinking About What She’s Done and trying to find a purpose for her life now

i guess she would have that fucking shop? so there’s that. and in that time she gets to meet some mundanes and make tentative local-shop-owner/client sorta friendships and talk about what she went through in vague terms and get some advice that might actually be useful

anyway, magnus! so she would go to magnus because he’s one of the downworlders (and her experience with luke makes her think that they are more likely to forgive her since they weren’t close) but mostly because she wants to win alec over and she knows that will never ever happen if she isn’t nice to magnus. she’s racist, not stupid

magnus doesn’t let her into the loft, but he also doesn’t close the door on her face. from previous scenes (mostly max’s rune ceremony thing) we know that magnus is at least willing to try to have some sort of truce for alec’s sake, but there’s that, and there’s maryse marching into his home like nobody’s business expecting forgiveness when she directly killed at least a few people magnus cared about and/or was responsible for protecting

also it’s transparent that she’s doing it for alec, so magnus is like “while it is nice to know that you care this much about alexander... i can’t just forgive you” and she is a little outraged, but she leaves without making a fuss

meanwhile magnus is just emotionally depleted even from this very short interaction with her, because she’s just... too much

lowkey has a depression day after that because that is way too much and he’s just kind of in a slump, feeling empty and reliving the worst memories of the people he’s lost in that war. alec notices and magnus is vague about it, just like “maryse.... visited” and alec wants him to talk about it but magnus is not going to talk about everything alec’s mom did to him cuz she’s like... still alec’s mom. so it’s awkward and heavy but they both lowkey comfort each other for the rest of the day and cuddle and shit

also there’s max! with max it’s a little different because he’s not going to like, straight up not want to talk to maryse, and his relationship with her seemed to be a little different from the others anyway. he was still heavily influenced by her ideals, and even with the dirvorce/distancing/idk, obviously she and robert are still like, sharing the custody. and she asks max about alec and izzy (as well as jace when they get to talk) and max is very blunt about it too, very “they’re still pissed at you” and she’s like gee kid thanks, i know that, but how are they. are they ok?

and again max is a nosy bitch so whenever he sees alec and izzy he’s like “mom keeps asking how you guys are doing. she wanted to know about izzy’s new project” and izzy is shocked like “since when does she know about my projects?” and max shrugs like “idk” 

and again, emotionally exhausting. especially when eventually max starts to say that maryse also asked how magnus was doing, and that hits alec like a billion bricks, because maryse is acknowledging their relationship? without him like, basically threatening her? lmao

cue their own version of depression days/weird coping mechanisms because they don’t know how to deal emotionally with this. izzy would probably throw herself headfirst into work like “emotions what emotions haha never heard of that anyway check out this corpse” and alec... shoots arrows until his hands bleed, as usual

because look, it’s hard, and i say that from firsthand experience. even the thought that your prejudiced parents might change gives hope. and alec had always been so loyal to family, to him, it was family before everything else, and that included maryse. and yes, he was manipulated by her, but he also did value family and he had some good moments, or moments that he saw as good (like the whole guy whose nose he broke thing) with her. so it’s just like... a lot of conflict because he kind of wants to turn his back on her and has been ever since he came out, but there’s a lot of emotions swirling inside of him

again magnus sees his bloodied hands and he heals them softly, asking him what happened. and alec is like “maryse is asking max about us” and magnus is like “oh” and again, alec is not going to go into the details of his relationship with his mom who killed magnus’ people, so it’s a little silent and awkward again, but they can again draw comfort from each other just from being together in silence and cuddling and shit

me? talking about malec cuddling in a maryse post? it’s more likely than you think

for a while alec and izzy do this weird dance around each other where they’re both like “you’re overworking yourself, want a break?” without actually acknowleding it because they know that if they actually tried they would both just keep uno +4 carding each other like “oh so why don’t you talk about how you feel?” “well why don’t you talk about how you feel?” “well but why don’t you talk abou-” 

i think izzy might be the one to break first. if anything, because alec’s Big Brother instincts mean that he doesn’t want to come to her to cry his woes, because he feels like He Should Be The One To Protect Her. and she’s like “alec, i’m not a child, you can talk to me. and if we aren’t going to face this together, who are we going to face it with?” and alec just looks at her with that intense stare and izzy goes, “i feel disappointed in myself because a part of me is so happy that she finally cared about something i was creating” and just like that, alec’s walls are gone

he finally gets to really talk about how he feels with the whole maryse and magnus thing and admit that a part of him is also happy that she asked and that it sucks and he hates it and feels weak, basically 

lightwood siblings mutual support because we are all about that shit! who’s maryse again

anyway max is kinda their bridge for a while, not even intentionally, but alec and izzy get to get used to the idea that maryse is trying because he tells them about it and he gets to see the small changes in maryse’s behavior you know? and so alec and izzy hear about that

it’s also probably because of max that they get to see her again, i mean, they are all family. and they’re both kinda bracing for some emotionally loaded interactions at the very least 

but instead she has like kind of accepted that they don’t feel comfortable with her and that it’s her fault for using them instead of protecting them most of their lives so she leaves them be beyond the pleasantries and they find themselves... relaxing? not enough to talk to her but just to be able to breathe in her presence which is already a lot

so this goes on for a while. also, maryse does end up genuinely trying to help in the anti-valentine crusade, but like, she’s respectful about it? she definitely isn’t taking charge or going after downworlders when they couldn’t trust her, but she has A- intel because she knew him for most of his life and can help predict what he thinks (as can luke) and B- fierceness and willingness to do what he’s told. the fact that whenever a downworlder like luke or magnus tells her what to do she just nods and does as she’s told earns her a lot of points. she also doesn’t demand their trust in any way and doesn’t ask for any information so that helps even if of course it’s still tense for everyone involved. but maryse understands and acknowledges this. in this case the shadowhunter training also helps because she is very used to dealing with following orders, not being told things, and tense/uncomfortable environments lol so that means that she can be there without putting her shadowhunter fragility all over the place or demanding things she doesn’t have the right to

also whenever people ask her why she’s doing this (which happens frequently since you know. why does maryse lightwood care) she says that just accepting her punishment is not enough to undo her mistakes. she is responsible for this mess and it’s on her to help take it down as well as she possibly can

so slowly she starts to gain trust? and slowly her relationship with them both mends

i’m unsure whether alec or izzy would forgive her first. a part of me wants to say izzy because again, i feel like she is really desperate for maryse’s approval, while alec’s whole thing is that he's over needing it. i mean obviously alec is still human and like i said, a family man, so of course he also wants maryse to approve of him and them both to have a good relationship even if he hates that he does. but he’s been working too hard to break out of needing to be on maryse’s good books to start now. in a way, having maryse’s approval is almost triggering because he’s coming to associate maryse’s pride on him with his own suffering

but on the other hand, alec is a family man, and he was closer to maryse than izzy, so i could also see him being the one to forgive her first. maybe he is the one who gets back to talking to her first, but izzy is the one who once starts mending their relationship lowers her guard for real? while alec still has like... snappy and defensive tendencies (which are perfectly valid and healthy of him to have)? you know? like once izzy is like fine let’s give her a chance she actually does, while alec takes a long, long time to lower his guard, and that only happens like, way after valentine is defeated and magnus starts feeling more comfortable around maryse (obviously magnus and maryse won’t ever be BFFs, but over time he can handle her presence, you know? make small talk, have a sorta “i have my mom-in-law but what can we do” dynamic)

and yeah those are my thoughts? it takes some years for them to actually have a good relationship but it builds slowly and maryse does do her homework as much as possible so that’s nice

again, thank you so much for this question and i hope you like my answer

EDIT: here's some more on alec's response to the whole thing. thank you, anon!

[inknose]

mdzs read diary part IV, the end

It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF

dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math

chicken

he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....

IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point

this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE

This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”

ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems

it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to

I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off

doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!

ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!

I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:

I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.

god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug

HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think

aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please - CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.

- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS

- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow

- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them

- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME

- I want to Draw - ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably

[monkey-network]

The Fiasco Finale of Future [1/2]

So in the penultimate episode of Steven Universe 2, the climax of both the season and series as a whole... is a group hug. As I expected, plenty were not too pleased with this turnout. Some felt it was anti-climatic, some felt it was resonating, and others tried to own the critics by digging deep into the scene like they always do sucking this show’s co- Coming from nearly a month later, I’m... split. One hand, I didn’t mind the climax. On the other hand, it was pathetic compared to plenty of other finales I’ve seen in media. It’s like this show as a whole, I enjoy it, but I also enjoy smacking it upside the head cuz it made some Karen-esque, All Lives Matter type stupid shit that I just cannot get behind. So you know what, Perry the Platypus, let’s mix it up. I wanna express the good and bad of this climactic end to the show and see where we can go from there. You ready?

What’s Good:

You truly wanna know what makes that final hug a great scene? A real showstopper? I have the truth, the best truth behind this, you won’t believe me but here goes. The climax worked because A Hug Is Nice. That’s it, there’s nothing else to it beyond a hug being nice. “But Monkey, you incel troll, there’s should’ve been more to that. The episode shouldn’t have taken that long to get to that point.” Well, in typical fashion, let me put it this way by talking about Spider-Man 2 (better than Spiderverse, don’t @ me). The whole movie is centered around Peter’s life getting shat on. He’s getting fired left and right, his people are abandoning him, he even loses his powers, he’s just at his utter lowest. But at his apartment, while contemplating, in comes his landlord’s daughter, Ursula, who offers him some chocolate cake and a glass of milk.

We can say the scene comes out of nowhere and that this is all that happens, feeling pointless, but I say this is an important scene because after everything that happens to him before, this one gesture from somebody out of nowhere to be honest was one of the nicest things he’s received in a while. It’s the seedling of a scene that keeps Parker going before Doc Ock comes to make him truly spring back into action. Above everything, it was nice. Like a hug.

I don’t need to be philosophically deep with SU2′s meta to tell you that a hug can be a worthwhile thing to get more than anything. It doesn’t resolve all the baggage Steven has in his mind, but a group hug from the people closest to you (and the Diamonds) can be a gesture so nice, it can numb you out, if only for a moment. Only other times where Steven got a hug was when he felt everything could be okay. With Lars, Peridot, and Connie after her “rejection”, and it’s after that “rejection” where he slowly loses it in his attempts to shake off that harsh feeling of abandonment and that everything can be okay. It is something where he can turn to the others for help but the concern of their response makes him reasonably suffer in silence. That last part is a little dumb, but I’ll get to that later. He can’t really hug himself because it doesn’t work like that. The point being that Steven, at his lowest, just needed something nice to consider. And a hug from everyone who loves him (and the Diamonds) can be that piece of chocolate cake he needed to be at ease, again, if only for a moment.

Like let me tell ya, as a deliriously depressed man that constantly wishes for death, a hug shouldn’t be spat on. Whether it be from your friends or mommy, a good hug can, at the very least, keep you sane and going. It isn’t medication, let’s not get it twisted, but a healthy remedy nonetheless, especially if you’ve ever felt touch-starved like I have before. It’s an affectionate gesture that for what it’s worth, should never be taken for granted. And while Steven could’ve well gotten this big type hug at almost any time he desired, I can at least appreciate the show for saving that at the right time. Whew. But, while the moment itself is nice, it’s predictably almost everything around it that unfortunately puts the moment in a vacuum and me with a bad taste in my mouth.

What’s Bad: 

Let’s get this out the way, because I’m such a literal bastard... *inhale*

Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis.

MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM!

Congrats on those with the corrupted!steven theories who no doubt had it hard on when this horned trunk ascended, hung its head high, and beat its meaty chest with blind rage, the crewniverse certainly had the balls to go with this design and a long discussion of utilizing Monster Steven’s full potential. And if you think I’m nasty about this, hoo boy, be glad that words are all you’re seeing right now because artists no doubt had a field day potentially ruining this design for you even more. I’m surprised Tumblr’s flagging system hasn’t taken down whole posts with this. HEHEHEHAAAAAAAA!

As you can probably tell, I’m not a fan of this Diamond Dinodildo’s design (say that 5x times fast). I mean Rebecca could be as horny as she pleased with this show, but this is next level, I tell you. But seriously, it honestly sucked that this is what they came up with when it served no purpose to Steven thematically other than him being a literal peen of a monster. Said this before, but what does becoming a corrupted looking amalgamation mean to him beyond “he’s a monster”? Corrupted gems weren’t the worst things in his world, they were products of a even worse thing. Turning into a diamond like figure would’ve said something about the cycle of abuse making you not feel like yourself, but a reflection of who you not only resent more than anyone, but were the indirect causes of your newfound issues. That would’ve took his struggle in the Diamonds Days arc to its next logical extreme, and brought most of Future’s episodes centered around Steven’s issues to a sensible turning point. Being a warped Diamond version of himself would’ve meant finally embracing inhumanity, and that would’ve conveyed the peak of Steven harshly feeling less like a human over the course of the season, especially when we had several episodes and new powers centering around him being inhuman. And a previous episode had him try to shatter a Pink version of White Diamond, two beings generally responsible for everything that’s happened to him. And it isn’t the design that made this a turn off.

What was Steven even gonna do as a monster? He does nothing to the town, he never even makes it pass the cliffside. He doesn’t even try to attack anybody, the only times he does is when he’s provoked by either the Cluster, the Diamonds, or any of the gems. Spinel raised more hell than Steven. So on the look back it’s insultingly sad they hyped up this big dick energy only to do... genuinely nothing. He already didn’t deserve turning into Pinky the Phallisaurus, but having him not even do anything as a monster left far more to be desired. Mob Psycho 100 did this nearly identical, but better. You can’t deny that it would’ve worked better with 22 minutes, actually give him something to do beyond screech and stomp like he’s Scrat from Ice Age. As much as I don’t like Change Your Mind, 45 minutes worked to its favor to do everything it did. Oh wait, this episode did make good use of time... with a fucking pity party.

They wasted my baby

This is. The WORST scene in the entire series and I’ll stand by that 100%. It’s one thing to show something offensive, but it’s another to have something be completely pointless. Yes, Connie talked some sense into them, but we didn’t need to waste time having White Diamond and the others bitch about something everyone who isn’t a toesucking simp should’ve figured out at that point. Not like it mattered, the Diamonds and Spinel never show up after this episode anyways, so good job making them count for something, I guess. This as well as minorly acknowledge the fact that the gems had a lot to do with Steven’s mental trauma because hey, we don’t have to hold these gems too accountable for child neglect. Speaking of which, where was Jasp- This plays well into my previous point, we aren’t shown what Steven was gonna do as a monster, so what else is the episode to do beyond holding him back in time to just make the characters go “All is lost” for one second before getting back up like this is Marvel’s Captain Driftwood?

Friendship is Magic had this type of moment in its penultimate finale but in that, more time was given to show the villains getting the upper hand, Twilight at her low point, her turnaround with her friends, and the lead in charge to defeat the villains. While some moments felt convenient and downright insulting, they made the most of their limit. The same can’t be said for this and it makes no sense. Speaking of things that make no sense:

Was this shapeshifting or corruption? Rushing or dragging? This personally bothers me because people are saying he shapeshifted even when they were also on board with him corrupting. But what was the point where monster Steven cums cries into the ocean turning it pink?

Now if Steven got himself corrupted, this would make sense since the three Diamonds are there with so fully turning him back to normal wouldn’t be an issue. Questions would arise about how corruption can happen to a human, then again this is Steven Universe, fans never really wanted you to ask questions. But if this was shapeshifting, then why have this permanent monster form? It would’ve made a little more sense of Steven changing his shape depending on his emotions, like what we’ve seen before. Additionally, Steven should have been capable of talking normally instead of roaring and growling like he switched brains with an actual animal. Just because he kinned Godzilla’s joystick doesn’t mean he was unable to speak to anybody, that is if he shapeshifted. Lastly, and this is more implicit than my previous points:

This season shouldn’t have tried tacking mental issues and trauma onto this dickslap of a climax. I’m on the side where we should’ve seen more from monster Steven, but what does this tell me for the topic of mental health? Nearly killing people on three separate occasions didn’t help, but having him transform into a near mindless beast is a backhanded way to convey post traumatic stress. Let me put it this way, if we didn’t get that episode where we learn Steven had held up trauma and stress from Doctor Priyanka, everything surrounding it afterward wouldn’t feel as fucked up as it did. Yes, understanding a root of a character’s problems is good, beneficial even, but having your character nearly, sporadically, commit MURDER THREE TIMES only to then have him become a wildin’ creature does nothing, if not disgust. It's disgusting when you talk about PTS one minute and have your main character be socially dangerous the next. You’d feel sorry for him, sure, but I gotta say nearly killing people is not something we should just hand wave. That is not a good or realistic depiction of depression and post traumatic stress; especially when you trying to discuss this with children. And don’t try to justify it by saying it was necessary for his downward spiral. Having to think and see death before my own eyes in real life, there should’ve been a better way to make Steven hit rock bottom without putting other’s lives on the line. It wasn’t compelling or resonating to see him become a witless creature after saying he could get away with anything, it felt jarringly hallow and teeth gritting sadistic to think this was acceptable. It took him turning into a literal creature to finally go to therapy or a throwaway line about therapy in this show’s case? Are you kidding me?

The hug is a nice moment on its own, but it took far too many kneecaps to get to this point and think it’s believably or justly earned. I can make fun of the monster design all I want, but what they put Steven through to get to this point is the most insulting writing I ever have to think about. Because you know what that hug told me, personally? It’s that you can commit near irrefutable atrocities, you can behave like a blithering rampaging beast all you wish, but that won’t matter. Because you’re valid and your people will love you. That is not only asinine, but it kinda pissed on what I went through growing up. Like, as idealistic as that felt, it didn’t add up because it made the mentally unstable come off as more unstable than they mostly are. You can disagree all you want with this, it won’t change the baffling fact that I came to this conclusion in the first place when I didn’t want to. “But the crew said in an interv-” NO, just nope. If the message the show gives is this polarizing for those that invested or were concerned with it, maybe the message wasn’t clear enough, who knows? I can believe Mr. Rogers never fucked this up when he made his show. I tried thinking of this differently, but I can’t excuse what they did and how they did it. Bojack Horseman never pulled this with its main lead and when it truly did, that was given more time to sort out; not an 11 minute epilogue in its final moments. The hug was nice, but this episode was trash.

Speaking of which, next time...

We Finally Look to the Future

Here’s Part 2, if you’re up.