#But he wasn't writing that something else so he just kinda ruined what he had going last minute imo. Oh well.

[nikamuhlsrealwife777]

Anything Juju Watkins, she’s seriously underrated 🙏🏻

FOREVER YOURS - J.W.

First juju fic....kinda scared....but let me know if I should keep writing for her

"Juju...i already told you," I could feel my frustration bubbling up. Catching her in the act of kissing another girl was not on my bingo card of the year. "It's a no. I don't care what you have to say, we're done."

"baby....please...its not what it looked like," following like a lost puppy, Juju begged. I couldn't care less in the moment.

Her hand wraps around my wrist, trying to stop me from walking further away. I stopped, looking down at the contact. The calmness of her tone, it further the irritation that was brewing.

I ripped my arm from her grip, "I said I don't want to hear what you have to say. Leave me the f-"

"Y/n....calm down...okay."

"No! If you weren't sucking someone's else face...i wouldn't be acting like this!" I spun around, our eyes meeting. The hurt in her eyes made me want to calm down, but nothing was stopping the hurt that I felt. "I really thought I could trust you...and you walked all over me. My trust...my ego...my love for you. I just need some space...please."

Tears swelled in my eyes. Juju's seemed to mirror. "Okay. I can give you space," she looked down, wiping her eyes before looking back at me, "I love you."

I nod. I had nothing else to say. My legs turned me around, walking me out of the packed party. The party, that if I stayed would have burned something within me, was for the women's team defeating the undefeated UCLA. Maybe she got too cocky. But that cockiness just ruined our whole relationship.

2 weeks later....

It's been hard. I missed her more than I would like to admit. Her sarcasm used to fill the awkward moments with friends. Her jokes flowing in conversation resulting in fits of laughter. Then, her presence. It was grounding, calming, and I needed all of that in my life. But Juju was that....and she wasn't here.

I struggled to pull myself out of bed, groaning with the motion. Hating myself and the world had become a more common thing for me these days. I hated myself for not listening to the girl cause what if she really hadn't done anything. Maybe I jumped to conclusions, maybe I was a jerk, maybe I was the one who didn't deserve her. Not the other way around.

Throwing on whatever was near, I made my way out of the sloppy dorm room. Opening the door, to my surprise, I was welcomed with many holding flowers.

"uh...excuse me," he looked down at the small paper attached to the bouquet of roses, "Y/n? These are for you."

"I think you might have the wrong y/n. Nobody is gonna send me anything," I closed my door, locking before turning back around to face the guy.

"Y/n l/n....from Juju Watkins? Does that sound right?"

Shock washed over me. Why would Juju send me flowers? "Um...yeah...yeah that sounds right."

"well," he held them out, "here you go. Have a nice day, ma'am."

"than-thank you." I stood there, flowers in hand, dumbfounded. I couldn't piece together why, the woman I yelled at and refused to say 'i love you' back too, would send flowers to me.

Quickly, I read the small note attached to the stem. Hoping that it would tell me why she would.

'I know your probably not happy with me...but I wanted to send you flowers (even tho Valentine's day was a little while ago...) for V' day. I would never not get you something....but I figured it would have been stupid to send something right after everything went down. Just know, I'm sorry that what happened happened. I'm always ready to talk whenever you are. I love you too much to not wait. Love, Juju'

"it's not too much is it?" Her voice rang through my ears, my head snapping up to meet the girl I've been missing tremendously.

Juju.

Sniffling, I pulled her into a tight embrace, "I've missed you so much." The words mumbled into my shoulder. Her arms tighten their hold on around me, pulling me impossibly closer.

"I've missed you too," a broken chuckle fell from my lips, "even if I don't necessarily like you right now."

Juju's body tensed, "can we talk about...what happened, please?"

I nodded, escaping her hold to unlock the door. Opening it, I step in allowing Juju to follow.

"I'm so sorry you saw me kiss another girl....but I didn't kiss her. She kissed me. I was drunk...she was drunk....she thought I was into her....so she took her shot. I pushed her off of me, but she latched back on as you walked in. I wish I could've been able to stop you from seeing it. I would have told you what happened....i just wish everything would have went down another way. I'm sorry baby." Juju was almost begging for forgiveness. Her words sinking in, my brain deciding whether to trust her or not. Something in the way she let everything just crash through whatever dam was holding it in convinced me, convinced me that she was telling the truth.

"okay."

"okay?"

"I accept your apology and now I want kisses to make up for it," I held my arms out, hoping the girl would just go with it. To my liking, she did.

"God I've wanted to kiss you for weeks," a smirk settled on her lips, well, before her lips crashed onto mine.

My arms snaked around her neck as her hands fell to my waist. Her grip tight and dominant, almost like she would never let me go. Our lips moved against each other like they were made to be kissed by the other. A feeling of familiarity settled within me. Thoughts seemed to not form properly, other than one thought. We were meant to be, and nothing was going to get in the way of that again.

Once we were both on the verge of not breathing, we broke apart. Smiles stretched across both of our faces as the realization set in.

"I love you more than anything," I whispered, resting my head on her shoulder. Juju's arms pulling me into a hug, the warmth of her embrace calming me. The grounding feeling I had been missing not even an hour ago.

"I love you too, Y/n. More than my own life," the words seemed to effect me more than they had ever before. I felt like she truly meant it.

Nothing would ever break my trust in her again.

------------

A/n : ha...ha....if this is trash, let me know and I won't ever write for juju again.

But if y'all like....let me know and I'll definitely write for her again.

(I'm truly in love with this woman....shes another one of my wives.)

[mourn-and-watch]

in all seriousness, dragon age being almost officially dead to me is, like, whatever. i'm used to hanging out in dead fandoms because i'm usually extremely late to the party so i think i'll manage. i was excited for veilguard but even if it was bad bad for me (which it wasn't. i have my problems with it but they didn't ruin the franchise for me) i would also manage because dragon age to me always was extremely flawed but had an enormous potential for fan content. at some point i started to treat it like my favourite fantasy playground where i can smash pre-existing barbie dolls with the ones i made myself. all my barbie dolls are in place and i still can do whatever i want (and i plan to continue to do so) and, i guess, i shouldn't be upset.

i am upset, however. for all the devs affected by laid-offs, but especially the writers. these people created dragon age as we know it, and it's been a messy series in every aspect, including the writing, it's been insensitive at times, at times dumb and undercooked, but there was always an immense amount of potential that's been inspiring fans for years, and also a feeling that all, or at least the most of it was created with genuine passion. and realizing that there is no one left from the team that made dragon age what it is, every installment of it, is just. genuinely sad. and it's not a theseus ship dilemma, because it's not like they were slowly replaced one by one. they were just fired. this ship is destined to sink, it's falling apart in front of our eyes because neither ea nor bioware cares about writing. not many companies do nowadays, to be honest. and it's kinda devastating. grifters will celebrate that like a "downfall of woke slop", but they'll get only more ai slop instead, lol, because good writing doesn't guarantee good sells. best selling games of 2024 are shooters and sports games. and elden ring which is a nice exception, but an exception nevertheless.

i don't think mass effect will save bioware at this point. even if it's an absolute banger it still has to meet ea's expectations. which are unrealistic, to say the least. also people who wrote characters like mordin, tali, legion, thane, garrus and liara are all gone. either they left themselves or were laid off. like, if you want "old bioware magic" to return, there is none. the same people who wrote your favourite characters and storylines in da/me were also working on veilguard. i may be wrong, but somehow i think they didn't all lose their ability to write here because they went woke or whatever. i think the inconsistent quality of datv writing that can only be described as 'we're so back/it's so over' pic is a consequence of multiple rewrites, constant director changes and shitty decisions, both internal and coming from bioware/ea higher-ups. i also may be wrong, but it wouldn't be such a big problem if writing wasn't at the bottom of priority list.

if i recall correctly, when gaider left willingly, he highlighted that bioware didn't treat its writers seriously at that point. and i'd say that tracks. like, from countless veilguard rewrites and scrapped ideas to lay-offs of every single studio veteran.

idk what else there is to say. i'll cheer for every studio that value its writers and i hope all ex-bioware devs will be able to do something new and exciting. i also doubt bioware is the last studio that will experience such a decline in the years to come. the narrative of this shitshow will also be twisted into 'go woke go broke' and it already slightly draws me insane. fuck ea fuck bioware fuck grifters. also i beg everyone to start appreciating writing as a craft because otherwise it's only going to get worse!

[kenziexoxoxo]

The boys toys

I do not own the picture

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK MINORS DNI

Warnings: I need to have some shame with what is running through my head as I write this that is your warning

Y/n was something different than a WAG or a grid girl she was the grid toy. Now you might ask yourself what the fuck is a grid toy she is their little pet that like to fuck. Only a couple drivers fuck her on the regular: Sebastian Vettel, Mark Webber, Michael Schumacher, Fernando Alonso, Lewis Hamilton, Nico Rosberg, and Jenson Button. All of them are addicted to ruining her tight cunt. It all started off with her agreeing to be Seb's fuck buddy. Which turned into Mark walking in on them which then turned into Mark also fucking her and Mark spilling the beans to Fernando who then told Jenson who then told Lewis who then told Nico who then told Michael. It was innocent at first whenever one had a bad race or one of them won (which was every damn race) their prize would be her. There wasn't a weekend that Seb or Lewis or even JB didn't win. Summer break was apon them and they didn't want to let their toy go so they made a custody agreement of sorts Seb would have her one week while Michael got her the next week for the 112 days between them evenly.

Sebastian's week:

Sebastian was sometimes a rough lover but he always made sure to take care of Y/n. His weeks usually consisted of ploughing into you till you could barely think. "ja, du fickst so, meine gute kleine Schlampe" (yeah you fucking like that my good little slut). He'd whisper in your ear as he pounded into you from behind his hips snapping into yours reaching the perfect places.

Nico Rosberg:

Nico is more chill like to have Y/n cock warm a lot he thinks it's cute to have you sit naked in his lap with his cock shoved up in you as he talks to his father on the phone. "Yeah no dad I'm not that busy I can talk." Nico said into his phone as he fucked up into you to tease you, you knew better than to moan and let Keke hear you. "I mean cmon dad of course I've got some pretty girl I've been screwing lately it's me." He'd say arrogantly and to be a brat you'd tighten your walls around him making him muffle a moan.

Michael Schumacher:

Mike lobes to just have you walk around naked no clothes necessary he likes to take you as times as he can in a day. "ficken, bücken, Prinzessin." (Fuck bend over princess). He'd whisper in your ear as he'd rip his boxers off once you were bent he'd slam into you and fuck you dumb

Mark Webber:

Mark was something else he'd rather his head be between your thighs than anything else. "Mark cmon baby we have to go." You'd say giggling trying to get him out from between your legs after pushing up your dress to eat you out for the umpteenth time that day. He'd grunt at you and go back to his work.

Lewis Hamilton:

Lewis was ironically kinda vanilla in bed he loves to stare into your eyes as you cum undone. "Let me see those pretty eyes baby girl." He'd say as he slowly thrusted into you your eyes had gone half lidded from orgasm number 4 the man has some stamina.

Jenson Button:

Oh JB loves to have you on your knees throat raw from him face fucking you. He'd hold your hair in a make shift ponytail as he'd have a vibrator going hard inside you. "Such a good girl cum for me princess fuck yes." His head would fall back as you'd moan around his cock your arousal leaking onto the hard wood floor.

Fernando Alonso:

Fernando or nando was definitely Spanish in the bedroom there was no denying that. "Joder, sí, mi chica se corre en mis dedos." (Fuck yes my girl cum on my fingers). He loved to have his fingers deep inside you having you scream papi till your voice was gone.

Hope you enjoyed I need to start having some shame. @schumi-angel here is another with your man

[femdomlieeh]

Revealing their mommy kink (m)

Sub!Stray Kids x Dom!Fem!Reader

WARNING—nsfw ✧ light S&M themes ✧ pet names (mommy, baby boy etc)

NOW PLAYING—Hare Hare ✧ TWICE

[A/N.] I wrote this a very long time ago. I don't write for skz anymore lol

M.LISTS—random idols/groups ✧ latest updates ✧ read on wp

All rights reserved © femdomlieeh

✧ ੈ ✧ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✧‧₊˚＊* ੈ ✧‧₊˚＊

방찬 / christopher bang / chris / bangchan

The youngest plus Minho from Chan's group sometimes teased him by mimicking his voice childishly and referring to him and you, his girlfriend, as 'dAdDy' and 'bAbyGirL' — and although he wasn't proud of it, this joke had gotten to his heart. The thing is he's had a fantasy of being called that in bed when he was a virgin teenager, and then a person called him that...and let's just say the thought of his now girlfriend calling him the d-word in a sexual, non-joking way scared him shitless. So to make sure his nightmare wouldn't turn into reality he had to do something and ideally he would try to plan having a discussion about sexual preferences and kinks but it was way too early in the relationship for him to have the courage to do that. So, he would overthink and overthink and decide to try to start a conversation about sexual preferences or stuff you're interested in but he would ultimately not tell you directly that he would like to call you mommy but would instead try to ask questions to get you to tell him if you liked similar stuff because he felt kinda weird for having this kink and wasn't sure how you would feel about it.

"Yeah. I think it would be nice if you blindfolded me!" he blushed then gulped, "But how about names?"

"Names? What about them?"

"Like is there any name you like to call me— or be called I mean?"

"It sounds like you do. Talk to me."

"I already like that you call me cute names and stuff. But I also wanna know if you would like me to call you stuff besides your name, you know. Like do you like being called baby, love, Mummy, darling or something else like that?" he tried to sound neutral, experienced in having convos about such topics and play it cool only to become flushed in the face out of embarrassment and gulp loudly.

"Yeah."

His heart started beating faster.

"Yeah? Like what?"

"I like how you say Mommy in your accent, it's sexy."

Fuck yes!!

He would feel so safe and comfortable to call you that in bed once you let him know you liked it. Be prepared for him to call you that all the time in bed (or kitchen, or bathroom, or living room).

... ✧ ...✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

이민호 / lee know

He would make it clear what his kinks are as early as possible in the relationship because he wouldn't want to lead neither you nor himself on in a relationship that wouldn't work out sexually. The perfect time to tell you, according to him, would be when you two were getting touchy to the point that you had taken off his shirt and were on your way to take everything else off. He'd of course make it sexy, as to not ruin the mood you two already were in.

"I wanna see you too, Mami," he looked up at you from below you on the bed, naked.

This shameless bitch would call you Mami outside the bedroom (whisper) both to get on your nerves and to remind you you're his and no one else's. Imagine him whispering Mami at you with the most innocent voice, but with the smuggest grin in a restaurant —  that'll be him any time someone as much as looks your way for too long. Your contact name on his phone would be My Mami even before you officially were in a relationship.

✧... ✧ ...✧✧✧✧✧✧

서창빈 / changbin

Changbin might have big arms and muscles but everyone should know by now that he's baby. And baby would be anxious, just thinking about how you would react to his little kink. What if you weren't into it? What if you thought it was weird? The possibility of rejection would be too scary for him to tell you about his secret. You'd have to tell him you had this kink directly to his face, for him to feel comfortable and finally call you that sweet name.

"I like being called Mommy."

Your boyfriend's face lit up, cheeks burning, "R-Really?"

You nodded.

At your confirmation, he laid his head on your shoulder, "Okay, Mommy."

From that day on, Mommy would be the only thing he'd ever call you, whether he was being a naughty boy or a good boy. The only time he'd call you by your name would be when he was around his bros but that's it.

✧✧... ✧ ...✧✧✧✧✧

황현진 / hyunjin

Oh shit. These days, he's been reading more porn on tumblr than usual and he especially liked reading fics featuring the mommy kink — and one day, the kinky title just flew from his mind and out his mouth. He hadn't had any intentions of telling you about his kink any time soon, but on one special day, when you'd called him Babyboy randomly, the temptation had taken over his consciousness. As soon as the title left his mouth, he would think he might as well go along with it and face reality since he can't take it back.

"What time is it, Babyboy?"

"Hopefully Mommy time." Obs! He just said that.

"What...?"

"Mommy time is time I spend with you. It's the highlight of my day. But Mommy's been busy this week. I still want Mommy time though," he pouted at you.

Most of the time, he's a good boy and would call you by your title cutely, or just because you two liked it. At other times, like when he'd want to tease you, he'd call you Mommy when you're busy. Imagine you're on your way to work or you're running an errand, and he'd face time you and say something like "Can't you stay here with me, Mommy? Please? I want you so bad, Mommy~"

✧✧✧... ✧ ...✧✧✧✧

한지승 / han

Every now and then, Jisung got the sudden urge to call you Mommy. Hundreds of times he had kept it inside but in his neediest moment by far he simply wouldn't be able to hold back. It would happen after he'd had an exhausting day at work, when all he wanted was your attention and love. The second he realized he'd said it, he'd get shy and act cute to mask up his shame. You'd have to give him reassurance that you don't shame him or think less of him for this preference, so he could call you Mommy without feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable.

"I want a hug, Mommy," he whined with a pout and straddled you on the sofa.

His face fell at the last word, and he took your hands and brought them to his cheeks to distract you.

"Aren't my cheeks super fluffy today? Like even more than usual, right?" he asked energetically out of panic and fake smiled.

"Your cheeks are always fluffy, Babyboy," you giggled, making his smile turn genuine.

Your encouragement would be enough for him to call you Mommy comfortably anywhere; with you by his side, he wouldn't notice anyone's opinions.

✧✧✧✧... ✧ ...✧✧✧

이용복 / felix

One day, when you were just cuddling or doing your night routine, Felix would tell you that he wanted to try a new kink — which was a common occurrence because he liked experimenting and finding out new things about you and himself. But in reality "trying something new" was just an excuse; actually, he'd already known that mommy kink was one of his favorites based on the fact he would be moaning your name followed by this word whenever he found himself masturbating. He would be extra careful with every moment during your love time, since he hoped that this wouldn't be a one-time-just-to-give-it-a-try type of thing but rather something he could call you often.

"I wanna try something new," he rested his head on your thigh.

"Yeah? And what would that be?" you started playing with his hair.

He looked up at you with his big, innocent eyes, kissing you thigh, "Would it be ok if I called you...like Mommy? Or Mummy? Something like that tonight?" He gulped, "O-Or tomorrow or some other day?"

The pet name left his lips so naturally that you were shocked it was his first time using it (allegedly). It seemed like he was experienced with the kink, like he'd said that name many times or like he'd been studying it beforehand.

...

"Mommy, I— Please, Mommy. Please, Mommy. Oh fuc—"

The next morning when you woke up, he called you Mommy to indicate he liked it and indirectly ask you if you did. If you gave him approval, he would start calling you that daily, if you didn't like it, he would respect you and only call you Mommy in his mind. As time passes by, you two would discover more pet names for each other, but his favorite for you wold always be Mommy because it never failed to make him feel small and loved.

✧✧✧✧✧... ✧ ...✧✧

김승민 / seungmin

Seungmin'd joke about the kink so he'd have a pillow to fall on in case you weren't into it. When he 100% knew you liked it too, he'd be very content on the inside but playing it cool on the outside. He'd say it in a playful way, so you wouldn't be able to tell if he were being serious, in case you weren't into it so he could play it off as a small joke. But ideally he would just want you to make him call you that because he's a bit of a masochist and wants his partner to be direct and harsh with him.

soft!seungmin ver.

When you were in the middle of a make out session, he smirked at you, "Mark me, Mommy."

The smirk on his face was meant to be devilish but to you it was foolish — you already knew he wasn't playing around.

"Beg for Mommy."

His smirk turned into a smile, "Please, please, can you mark me, Mommy."

harsh!gf ver.

***none of you has introduced this kink previously***

"You disobeyed me just because you wanted me to punish you, right?"

He kept quiet, looking away from you.

You slapped him. "You just wanted Mommy to make you cum over and over until you have nothing left to give, right? You want Mommy to make you cry?"

He looked you in the eyes, "Y-Yes, I just want you to make me cry, Mommy. I deserve every punishment you give me. Please, just hurt me, Mommy."

After he found out you also were into it, he'd say the word both teasingly and lovingly, depending on if he's feeling like an angel or devil. It's honestly cute how he can go from whispering your title in public to begging for a hug. This one is half bad boy, half good boy.

✧✧✧✧✧✧... ✧ ...✧

양정인 / i.n

(a/n. 누나 (nuna) = older sister)

He'd be the blushiest baby boy ever about telling his partner about his very specific kinks because he's not very experienced in relationships and isn't sure if or how hr should go about sexual preferences like if he shouldn't say it and just try new things shyly or if you two should discuss your preferences and boundaries ahead and stuff — so out of fear of embarrassment, he wouldn't tell you he gets hard thinking of calling you "Mommy" as you jerk him off and just hoped you would say something some day. So you'd have to initiate a conversation that gave him a clue that you liked it too —  and then he might get courage — or you just go ahead, straightforward, and talk about everything with no judgment.

"Do you have any kinks?"

He turned his head to you with the look of a shocked tomato, "W-W-What—?"

"I have some. Like there's this one when my partner calls me by a title."

His eyes widened and, out of fear, he spit out what he's heard most people say: "Like Babygirl?"

"No."

A smile, as well as more redness, couldn't help but make itself visible as he stuttered: "M-M-Mommy?"

That's the only thing he'd ever call you in bed. He would be shy to call you that in a non-sexual context, only sticking to 누나 or maybe darling, but every now and then it'll slip out and make him blush and cover his mouth. Ohhh he would never say it in front of his members since he is insecure and scared they will take it as him being babied by you and him not growing up or some shit that isn't manly. At some point his clueless members might create a small joke of calling you mommy and Chan daddy since you're almost like parental figures taking care of the group. If only they knew Jeongin's not an innocent kid anymore~ Little do they know he begs for "Mommy" to let him cum with a vibrator in his ass and tears going down his cheeks.

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧... ✧ ...

❝ トキメキだけ share しよう (oh)

悲しみは let it go (oh)

嵐の日だって and so what?

雨雲は全部 blow away

躊躇わないで that's fine

いつでも呼んで that's right

君の背中押すよ

Stronger, stronger (stronger) ❞

( Let's share only the fluttering feelings

As for the sadness, let it go

Even on stormy days

And so what?

Blow away all the rain clouds

Don't hesitate

That's fine

Call me anytime

That's right

I'll support you

Stronger Stronger (stronger) )

—twice (- nayeon, sana, tzuyu); 2023

[h4ndwr1tten]

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭?

characters — nanami kento x reader

note — this took me a long ass time to write. if it seems familiar to any other works, i requested something with the same plot on someone else's blog lololol. THIS IS PART 1 AS IT'S A LITTLE LENGTHY!!! dividers by benkeibear.

(am i posting this on nanami's birthday? yes.)

cw — not proof read, established relationship, kinda ooc nanami? like one mention of sex, pregnancy, strong language, arguing, crying, accusations of cheating, hurt/no comfort.

synopsis — the test results are positive and you aren't ready. when you try to hide this from your boyfriend of 5 years, he assumes the worst.

part 1 | part 2

this wasn't supposed to happen. it shouldn't have happened. you both took every precaution possible to prevent an outcome neither of you were prepared for — from condoms, to birth control, to plan b. it had kept you safe for as long as you started having sex. you never found yourself worried about carrying a life in you for 9 months.

so why now does the test read positive?

it felt like the world stopped moving. you didn't even know if you were still breathing. your heart had fallen into the pit of your stomach, your eyes wide and full of disbelief. you couldn't believe it. it couldn't have been correct. the 99% accurate claim on the kit had to be lying. there was no way it could've been true.

it took some time, but you were able to tear your gaze away from the test. you looked up to the ceiling, blinking away the hot tears you could feel building up. you took a few deep breaths and tried to swallow down the lump in your throat, your fingers trembling around the test.

you've thought about having kids before. you did want them, just not now. you were unprepared for this. how do you raise a kid when you aren't ready, when you aren't even married?

then it hit you — nanami's involved in this too.

the realization made you feel 10x worse. if you weren't ready for a child, you could only imagine how he would feel about this. his life was going so well right now. he was happy with his career and his salary, he was content with the apartment you both shared, and he was even more happy to be with you. he had his whole life and future planned out. he knew when he would retire and even what he'll do in life after he retires. nanami saw you in his future, you were always there when he would think of it. but would you still be there if he found out you were currently pregnant with his child?

you two had never fully talked about having kids together. you both were confident that you would spend the rest of your lives together. you've discussed marriage, homes, and briefly, kids. it was never a deep conversation — you only ever talked about having them and how many there would be. but never about having them earlier than expected.

gosh, you felt like shit. utter, absolute shit. you felt even worse for nanami. you felt like you were going to ruin his life plans. you felt like this would be the downfall of your relationship. and if it was, who knew if you would ever recover.

your phone buzzed with a notification, pulling you back to reality. you didn't realize tears had fallen until one slipped from your chin and landed on the hand gripping the test. you stood from where you sat on the closed toilet and checked your phone. it was a text from nanami.

i'll be home soon, my love. do you want me to bring anything home?

he was so caring. always considering you, always putting you first. you couldn't help but feel even more guilty.

hi ken. could you get some takeout pls? i'm sorry, i'm not in the mood to be cooking rn.

of course. want anything specific? are you feeling alright?

i'm fine. you can choose tonight :)

alright then. i'll be home soon, i love you ❤️

i love you too 💕

you shut your phone off and placed it back on the counter, screen facing down. you felt horrible — he was always thinking of your needs before his. would this end now that your carrying his child? certainly he wouldn't want to have to worry about another person in his life at the moment. you wouldn't want him to worry.

you stood from the toilet seat, about to leave the restroom when you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. your face was bright pink and red, your eyes also red but not super puffy and swollen. some people might think it was allergies, but not nanami. nanami wasn't some people — he knew you better than anyone, perhaps even yourself. he could see right through you, read you like a book. you began to worry what he would say if the pigment in your face didn't fade in time, if he would ask if you had been crying.

what would you say if he did ask? he knows you so well, it's nearly impossible to lie to the man. you could say you were rewatching your favorite show and got emotional, or reading another chapter or more of the book he bought you the other day. but nanami isn't dumb. he would catch on before you could even finish your excuse, he'd know something's up.

you sighed, inhaling and exhaling deeply. you didn't know how this was going to play out. you didn't know how to act or what to say to nanami when he came home. you were just hoping for the best.

the lock on the door clicked once, twice, and then the door opened. you had been in your shared bedroom, watching some corny rom-com to ease your mind. you had hidden any evidence of the pregnancy test. you threw away the box and instructions, then threw out the trash bag you tossed them in. you kept the test, however, and hid it in your purse that was now laying on your bed. nanami wasn't one to snoop. if he wanted to check something of yours, he would ask permission. and if you didn't grant it, he would respect your boundaries like he always does.

"my love?" you heard nanami's voice echo throughout the apartment. normally, you would've been waiting by the door for him and greeted him excitedly, but for obvious reasons, you weren't.

leaving the bedroom and walking to nanami, who was walking in the hallway and you assumed he was looking for you, you gave him a small smile.

"hi ken," you said quietly, wrapping your arms around his waist instead of his neck where you usually do. you stood up on your toes to reach his lips, kissing them gently and not for long. when you pulled back, nanami leaned down for another, a longer one. were you ever going to get these kisses again if he found out you were carrying his child?

for real this time, you both pulled away. you still smiled softly up at nanami, but he was observing you closely, worry swimming in his honey brown eyes.

three things were running through his mind right now: why were your cheeks and eyes tinted a bright red, as if you had been crying? why didn't you seem as eager to see him after work like usual, wrap your arms over his shoulders and around his neck, and kiss him for more than a second? something was wrong. did he do something? did you know what food he bought and were you not pleased by it? were you feeling sick?

"ken?" you asked, breaking him out of his thoughts. "are you alright?"

"are you alright?" he returned, worry still plastered throughout his face.

you then looked confused, though you weren't, slowly nodding your head, "yeah... why?"

nanami stayed quiet for a second. maybe you were just tired, maybe he was overthinking this. but that idea didn't sit right with him. it was like his gut was telling him that something was up with you. but he didn't know what.

not wanting to push you, he answered, "nothing. i missed you though. let's go eat?"

throughout dinner, nanami noticed how quiet you were. if it were any other day, you would have been telling him about your day, the latest gossip, about the episode you watched or the chapter you read. you were barely even touching your food too. you occasionally took small bites, but most of the time, you were just poking it with your fork.

while he was putting the dishes away, you grabbed yourself a glass of water. that's when nanami asked you, "love, are you sure you're alright?"

"yeah, i'm fine. why do you ask that?" you replied unsurely, looking down at your water.

"i'm sorry. you just seem... off." nanami washed his hands, looking you up and down carefully.

that was another strange thing he noticed. you hadn't looked in his eyes when you told him you were fine. you always make eye contact with him. you're never afraid to and you're not one to break it so quickly, much less avoid it.

he was beginning to question whether you were really fine.

you had just finished getting ready for bed, teeth and hair brushed, skin care routine done. nanami had finished getting ready before you, so he was waiting for you by the bed. but instead of reading a book or even scrolling through his phone, his eyes were glued to you in worry. you could tell he was becoming suspicious of you, and you wished you hadn't made your troubles so obvious. your head was beginning to ache and you were desperately hoping that nanami wouldn't ask any questions.

those hopes were left unsatisfied.

"my love, are you sure you're okay?" nanami asked for what felt like the hundredth time today.

you sighed deeply. "yes, kento, i'm fine," emphasizing the fine. "my head just hurts right now. have you seen the tylenol?" you added, hoping that it would be enough to stop his questioning.

"no, do you want me to check your bag?"

you felt stupid for having kept an small extra bottle of tylenol in your bag. nanami reached over to your side of the bed, grabbing your purse. he had pulled the zipper open when you realized what was about to happen.

"no!" you yelped, practically sprinting to the bed and snatching the bag away from him. you checked to see if the bag had been open enough to see the test, which it hadn't, and some relief washed over you. but then you realized how much worse you had made your current situation with nanami.

fuck. i fucked up. i'm fucked.

nanami's brows were furrowed together, his face painted with a mix of frustration, confusion, and concern. he looked you up and down over and over again, gaze switching from you to your bag repeatedly.

"okay, y/n, seriously. what the hell is going on with you? first, i come home and you don't seem as excited as you tend to be. then your face is all red like you had been crying. then you—you barely talk to me, hell, even look at me throughout dinner! you touched your food like, what, 5 times? and then when i try to look through your bag to help you, you panic and snatch it away from me?"

kento's ramble had you silent. you didn't know how what to say, what stupid excuse you could use, how to explain your behavior. you only avoided his gaze and stared down at your bag. the thick, suffocating silence lasted for a moment longer, then nanami finally spoke again.

"y/n, are you..."

he paused and took a deep breath, as if to prepare himself for what he was about to say.

"are you cheating on me, y/n...?"

you were dumbfounded. in absolute, utter shock. how could nanami, the person who you believed to have the most trust in you, think that you would be unfaithful to him? yes, you realized how skeptical your behavior was. but for him to come to the assumption that you'd cheat on him? it stung a little—a lot, actually.

"what? no... no, of course not, kento! how could you say that?" you retorted, finally looking him in the eyes.

"gee, i don't know, maybe 'cause you can barely even look at me and you're very obviously hiding something!" his voice raising more with each word spoken.

you had no argument to counter what he had just laid out to you because he was right. you couldn't look at him for more than 5 seconds and you were hiding something. you eyed the floor beneath you, opening and shutting your mouth as you tried to think of something to say. nothing ever came out though.

a heavy sigh cut through your thoughts. you looked up from the floor and saw nanami shaking his head, running his hand down his face. he was so disappointed, you could feel his hurt radiating off of him.

"i'm going to sleep," he muttered, reaching for the lamp and dimming it. lying down, nanami shuffled into a more comfortable position, facing away from your side of the bed, and pulling the covers up to his shoulders.

"ken—"

"night, y/n."

you didn't know what you were going to say anyways. tears slid down your cheeks and the least you could do for nanami was keep quiet and let him rest. you realized that you wanted to apologize. apologize for the way you had been behaving towards him this entire evening, for making him doubt your faithfulness to him.

you slid into bed next to him, facing away from him as well. your body shook with the sobs you fought hard to keep in, nose stuffy and pillow quickly becoming soaked. you thought that the positive pregnancy test would have been the downfall of this relationship—now you wonder, will this argument turn these past 5 years into a mere memory?

m. list

[c4tluver02]

hi!!! i love everything abt ur page and ur writing is just *chefs kiss* - i was wondering, could u possibly write a steve x reader fic based on ‘delete ya’ by djo 🧐

okay that’s it.. thank u!!! bye :3

wc: 2.6k

cw: mention of dying (literally one line barely there), sad Steve :(, break ups, fighting, hurt/comfort

a/n: i hope you enjoy!! this song is so sad to me so i kinda kept w that theme lol!!. thank u so much for the kind words!!!!!!!!!! <333

And now I'm back on your couch, frozen peas to my head, driving up to your folks, cramming into your bed, you picked me up every time, drove me back to our home, it doesn't leave you alone.

When Steve falls asleep his mind loves to play back moments of when you two were at your prime. The ‘it’ couple that couldn't, wouldn't, let up. The dream wasn't even a dream really, just a replay of the times you've shared. One that meant so much to Steve. 

He had called you to pick him up after everything that happened at StarCourt. His family wasn't even a first thought at that moment, it was you. It was always you, when he woke up, when he went to bed, when he was high off his mind with Robin during the movie. His mind never let him wander too far. When you brought him to your place you immediately brought him to your family couch. Speaking of them, they weren't anywhere to be seen. Steve wishes he could have been here with you instead. 

“I’m gonna get you a bag of peas. Stay here okay?” You say it rushed like a second more he would bleed out and die. And really you weren't being too dramatic Steve was badly injured. But the guilt he felt for making you worry felt even worse than any pain. 

“I’m okay, really, I just have a headache.” He says as you gently press the freezing bag to his head. He was lucky to have you by his side at that moment. Being alone would have shattered him completely, instead he fell asleep with you and dreamt of something good. Unlike he is now. 

“I’m so sorry I wasn't there for you Steve.” Your eyes are glassy as you hug him and run your hand through his hair. Now you’re crying over him, but he doesn't deserve to be cried over. He rubs your back trying to soothe you even though he's the one who’s beat up.

“You’re here right now aren't you? I mean without you I'd have nowhere else to go.” He thought this would make you feel better but really it just confirmed that you should have been there. 

– 

Oh, God, I wish I could delete ya 'cause nothing can compete with ya I replenish and repeat ya a heart excretes only one of us, only one. 

Waking up was always the hardest part. Getting his dream of you out of his head was tough and it stuck to him all day. 

He tried to distract himself with work and talking to Robin. And when a girl walked in he tried even harder. But when he got the date or went for the hook up it never felt like it did with you. You weren't even here but somehow you were ruining everything for him. Each week a different girl came in and flirted with him and each date ended with him at their house for the first and last time. 

Robin would say that he needs to have a few rebounces and fun dates to get you off his mind. That it was normal to go through this period and one of these girls will be the one. Nancy said that he can't look for you in every girl he goes out with. Which she was right but here he was getting help from his ex girlfriend on how to get over a girlfriend to find a new girlfriend. Were you thinking about him like he was thinking about you? Was he the one keeping this relationship alive while you’d moved on? It all broke him all over again. 

–

Blue and gold, Friday night team up with Charlie, take these kids for a ride why's my heart pounding, beating out of my chest? remember to try and forget. 

The group had told him he needed to get out, hang with people who love him and care for him. And maybe it would help Steve. Having a distraction and doing what he knows he does best, babysitting. The kids are in the back of his car and the adults are in Jonathan's car, all ready to go to get ice cream and then go to the movies. This was a normal activity for the group, nothing crazy but something fun to get him out of the house.

At the ice cream shop they were playing your favorite song, one you and Steve danced to many times. His heart is pounding so fast in his chest he feels like he can't breathe. Quickly walking out of the small shop hoping to find some air. The wind helps him calm down but the song can be heard from outside and he feels like a train wreck. He’s supposed to be having a fun time and be a normal adult, instead he's sitting on the sidewalk with his hands over his ears and sweat dripping down his neck. 

“Steve?” He can hear Robin ask from the door.

“I’m fine.” It comes out louder than intended because his hands are so tightly pressed to his ears. 

Robin walks over to him and grabs onto his wrist. “The songs over Steve, you can come in.” 

He slowly lifts them up to make sure she's not lying to him, not that she would, especially about the song, but he’s scared. When the song is actually gone and Queen is now filling his ears he stands up. 

“You good?” Robins a little higher since she's on the sidewalk and he's on the gravel. They are at even heights now and eye level which allows Robin to really see if he's ok. 

“Yeah, I‘m sorry.” Steve says, hanging his head low. Completely embarrassed. But Rob just rubs his shoulder and walks him back inside and they all act like nothing happened. 

“You need to try and forget it, Steve. You can't live forever being scared of a song.” Nancy said. 

She’s harsh but the reality is she needs to be. He’s not getting any better and it's not like she's not saying anything that isn't true. When Steve drives them to the movies his heart is still pounding but he makes it there safely. The kids drag him out of the car and he has to yell at them for being loud in line for snacks. For 23 minutes he wasn't thinking about you, which is progress right? 

–

I'm locked, she's the key. I'm a boat that's sinking, guess who's the sea? It's hard to shake it off and get back to me when anything is a memory and you repeat to the nth degree.

When Steve has bad nights like tonight, when he can't sleep and his dreams are more like nightmares he wishes you the most. You’d always feel it yourself, somehow. He would wake up and minutes after, so would you, ready to talk about what is making him feel so off and every time you’d have the perfect answer to make him feel better. 

Where is Steve gonna ever find someone like that ever again? Will he ever find that again? Maybe he needs to get better at being that person for himself. So greedy and spoiled to have that feeling in the first place. 

He calls Robin to see if she's up, maybe her rambles could ease him into a calm state but she doesn't answer. He’s not mad at her for it but it does mean he won't sleep tonight. How’d you mess up his sleep schedule? Steve even washed his bedding so it wouldn't smell like you. He felt like grieving that day, feeling sorry for himself about something he’d never get back. It was something he had been putting off but smelling your perfume made him feel like suffocating in it, then he’d die happy. But that scared him so he washed them the next morning. 

All Steve dreams about is things you two used to do or things he’d wish you'd done. How you helped him with everything or what you would do to fix him back up if you were here right now. God he wishes you were here right now. It’s bad he's thinking like this, trying to shake it out of his head and get back to how he's gonna fall asleep on his own. 

–

And now I'm back in my truck, I'm driving up to our place. We're sitting dead on the ground, there's nothing more to be said. You kept it tight to the chest at someone else's expense. That doesn't sound like real love.

Steve wasn't opening up to you about Vecna or the mall. Or anything at all really. He often pushed everything down until he had bad moments and then you’d help him in any way you could and then he’d move on. An exhausting cycle of feeling untrustworthy with someone you told everything to. The dinner with Jonathan and Nancy went okay, you talked to them most of the time and Steve made some comments here and there. The drive home however, was silent. 

When you did get to Steves he finally spoke up. “The food was good huh? We should go there more often.” 

It made you boil. You’re surprised he tasted anything at all he was so far away all night completely spaced out. 

“Steve, we need to talk.” You pulled onto his hand and sat on the ground. His mom got rid of the couch and is looking for a new one after Steve threw a party and someone threw up on it. For right now the padded carpet will have to work. 

Steve sat with you and you could tell he still really wasn't there. His mind somewhere else that you couldn't even ask about knowing he’d turn you down. 

“What’s up with you?” You ask. It comes out a little more harsh than you meant but it’s needed since it knocks him awake. 

“What do you mean ‘what's up with me’ I haven’t done anything.” He answers defensively because of your tone. 

“You haven't done anything in days. I feel like I’m talking to a wall.” There's no emotion in your voice. But he can hear it’s raw.

 “I have been busy with work, you know this. What I really need is to just come home and know that I’m not gonna be asked a million questions. I thought we were having a nice day and dinner went well.” 

“Dinner wasn't good Steve. You barely talked. I was talking to Dean about it and he said-”

“Oh Dean said something, your new best friend at work? What the fuck does Dean know? He doesn't know shit about me.” It comes out with malice and the two beers he had at dinner is showing through. 

“Steve, I don't know shit about you. You won't tell me anything!” You yell. How can he be upset when you finally have a friend to talk to this stuff with when he's the one keeping it from you? Each barely there conversation you two shared pushed you further away. 

He stays silent and gets up to walk upstairs. Leaving you sitting criss-crossed on the ground with glossy eyes and a quivering lip. There’s really nothing to be said if he wont talk to you. Conversation over. 

–

I wanna know (Just two weeks, how'd you cut it like that?) Maybe you show me how (I'm built different, I don't work like that, huh) I got to repeat, chew up, spit out The blame complex in me, me, me. 

Two weeks after you adn Steve had broken up, news broke out that Dean had kissed you. He doesn't know exactly how it happened but apparently you didn't pull away. His throat burned and he could taste the acidity that was coming up. It was two weeks since you and him had cried in each other's arms and said nothing will change from the break up. But everything had changed, you won't answer his calls, you weren't going to group meet ups, and now you're kissing Dean. 

Everyone in the group knew and the adults got the brunt of it. Every hang out Steve talked about how you two broke up and how he misses you. Often drunk and slightly teary eyed but no one shuts him up. They allow him to slur his words and embarrass himself because you two were supposed to last till the end. By the end of the night his words turned venomous and had poison laces in every letter. So ready to blame you for ending things even though it was mainly mutual. Next week Robin will tell him to let up on it but for right now, after the Dean kiss, they’ll let him have it.

It was something they all just had to wait for him to grow out. Learn to move on and live without the person he’d spend most of his days with. Someone he thought he knew like the back of his hand. When he sits and really thinks about it Steve doesn't even know the specific time that things went so wrong and out of his control. Maybe he really wasn't there and things had been bad for a while. Little moments of uncertainty and secrets that grew with each day. 

It was understandable to have trouble when dealing with something as awful as underground Russian spies but it wasn't something you were taught how to handle nor was Steve taught how to deal with it. Still the fact that you couldn't stick it out with him and make it through to the other side told Steve all he needed to know. 

–

Oh, God, I wish I could release ya Wind it back and never be with ya Then I'd be happy just to meet ya (oh, my God) One heart could bleed for the future us If we were young, but this is done.

Three months have passed since you two broke up and Steve can finally sleep without seeing you. Getting used to living alone is something he finds hard to get used to but he manages it. Forgetting how he’d used to pour coffee in two cups but now one, or that he’d now have to put his own music on in his car now that it was only him. It was different but his new normal and that wouldn’t change. 

Steve has thought about what he would be like if you two did not meet. Maybe if you’d just given him a tight nod instead of your big bright smile Steve wouldn't have gone through all of this. But then he thinks about how he would have gone home alone after almost dying, having to put ice to his own head. He was lucky to have had you in that moment and now, years later, Steve could call it for what it was. A relationship that was good for him then but not now. Two people growing in different directions, experiencing different things. People grow apart even when it's not convenient and Steve can sleep peacefully knowing that. 

Robin and him have Friday night talks about everything that goes on with him. A dedicated time that Steve can talk to the one person who won't judge him and just let his feelings out. Something that he didnt do with you, and if he did maybe it would have helped but he didn't. He wouldn't have known he needed it until you left. 

Everyday he gets better and the kids are seeing him more now that it's summer which is fun. Nancy is hanging with him because Jonathan is in California so they both get to be lonely together. It’s new for him but with time he’ll heal and become a better person for it. Ready to be better for the next person who he pours two cups of coffee for.

[aviradasa]

The lost boys main HCs

Paul

Here are some paul hcs! I hope you enjoy! This is kinda short but i had fun writing it!

If you would like a part two going into more detail about him let me know. I'm gonna be responding to Dwayne's HCS, though. I hate the ones I posted. I'm also gonna be doing an HC/ one-shot series about each of the boys before they found each other/ became vampires, so stay tuned!!

Paul is a younger sibling. When he was alive he had 2 brothers and one twin sister.

He was 19 but going to turn 20 literally like a month before he died and despite how he acts he was the oldest when turned,

If you ask him his age though he will say 20 to fuck with you before pulling the “Nah I'm just joking” card and telling you he was only 19

He does that mostly cause he's a little upset he wasn't able to hold out at least another month, so he likes to say what he could have been, but he doesn't wanna lie about his age.

He hates liars.

He also keeps track of every birthday he and the other boys have had since they turned cause he doesn't want to lose track of the years. It kinda keeps him sane a bit.

On a less depressing note

He is also one of the sassiest assholes you will ever meet. He does not think before he speaks and honestly, he doesn't give a damn

I mean y'all hear him when he said the whole “ chill out girl 🙄😒” line you can't tell me he wasn't annoyed that star was ruining the fun

He also does not give a shit if he hurts someone's feeling with it especially if its someone he doesn't know or does not fuck with, he sees no point in trying to spare the feelings of anyone he doesn't care about

He can also be a bit flirty just in general as a joke or genuinely he is just like that and he dont care what gender it is he will make flirty jokes or comments regardless.🤣

He is an asshole, but he is quite loyal to the people he loves, surprisingly. But he loves them in his own way. Despite all the teasing, rude comments, cruel pranks, and injuries he may accidentally inflict, he doesn't fuck around with other people pulling that shit.

The definition of “nobody can bully my family or friends but me.”

He can be nice sometimes. It depends on whether he's fully sober or not, and then it depends on what he did.

Drunk = steer clear he's gonna say or do some stupid shit that could result in either a fight with somebody random or not,or you all dying.

Stoned = yeah, you have a better chance of seeing him nice with this one. But still, be careful cause high also results in hunger, so don't get bit. he does bite. Remember that.

He also relaxes better after smoking, so he might just sit his ass down for a while, maybe watch a movie.

He's not a TV guy though usually. he finds it hard to focus on shows and movies so he either likes to smoke before watching or else he has to pause it every 20 minutes to get up, walk around, and bitch about loopholes and plot points for a few minutes before he can sit back down and continue it.

He just kinda avoids them for those reasons. He's more of a music guy. Because then he can get up, bounce around, have fun, and not miss anything in the song cause he can do other shit while listening.

The music he likes is rock and heavy metal; I will admit, though, that he is the kinda person to pull the “Oh, you know (random band), then name 3 songs.”

“ (names 3 song)”.

“Oh shit cool, what's your favorite.”

He does that shit often, actually, but his saving grace is that if you know what your talking about, you now have a new friend to discuss your favorite bands with. 😭

He keeps his area of the cave a mess but he still knows where everything is. But it's not like a dirty mess; it's mostly just clutter.

He refuses to leave food containers or remains in his room overnight like he can not stand that shit if he's chilling out drawing or something, and he catches the lightest whiff of food smell from a container he finished off not even an hour ago he getting up and throwing it away.

Honestly, that goes for all the boys, to be fair. They don't care about being dirty themselves, but they don't want their spaces dirty if you get what I mean.

Also, he does not like people touching his stuff. Only a select few people can, and that is Laddie and the other boys maybe star once in awhile, and depending on whether you are a close friend or partner, you can, but everybody has to ask unless he says to grab it for him.

He just doesn't want his shit moved cause he's worried he won't be able to find it.

He's not worried about shit being broken cause he will just fix it. Unless it's CDs or records that he can't fix, he will be severely pissed.

But one specific thing you don't under any circumstance touch, grab or even breathe too close to is his sister's old music box. If that gets broken, he will kill you, no questions asked, and he won't feel bad about it, NOBODY would want to/ have the ability to stop him at that moment, so just please don't touch it.

Other than that, he doesn't care. He likes having people come to his space to hang out and keep him company. He also likes showing off all the cool shit he has.

Oh, and the him killing you thing reminds me.

He is scary as fuck when he kills/feeds cause his style is extremely animalistic. He doesn't just tear flesh away or rip a limb or two. He fucking MAULS his kills to the point that if you see the aftermath, you genuinely wonder if it was ever a human or not.

His kills are quick, violent, messy, and sadistic. Cause he genuinely does enjoy the kill, probably more than feeding.

He's an adrenaline junkie, a daredevil, and anything in between, so when it is time, he will find a target, and to be fair, he likes a good chase. So he will probably grab somebody, and when they fight back, he will purposely let them go and give them a head start so he can chase them down just to make the mauling more fun.

When he's done feeding, he is most of the time covered in blood, dirt, leaves, sand, sticks, you name it, and it's probably on him.

He cleans up as best he can before going back onto the boardwalk or heading into town of course. But if they have a late feeding and they have to get back to the cave in a hurry before sunrise. He will stay like that until the next day.

But by the time he wakes up, he hates the feeling of the stuff stuck to him, so he cleans up quickly just so he doesn't have to be uncomfortable lmao.

Anyway, that's it for now. He's just a funny, sarcastic, sadistic, flirty asshole. But we love him. Cause he's Paul.

[not-a-heretic]

jacob and nigel colbie

oh the beloved brothers au. created with my absolute favorite person, @sweetoneiros. obviously this drawing is for you.

someday i’ll get around to drawing them properly but this was mostly experimental because i wanted to try to bring them to life as i saw them, so the style of this piece is kinda strange given that i prioritized my vision over accuracy and lighting. hence why the colors are meh. but given that it was almost completely freehand with the exception of a pose ref that i tweaked to my liking, it didn’t turn out too bad and i think i got pretty close in capturing how i envision them.

i tried previously to sum up some of their story but it was entirely impossible to do briefly. so, in a MUCH much more simple passage, i included some of their background below for anyone curious. if you want something well written and poetically engaging, bother caitlin (she has a few posts about them on her blog i believe). i’m just the artist.

if you’re not interested in reading however, just… enjoy the picture i guess. idk

If you've read Sweetbitter, or have watched the series, then you're probably familiar with Jake. I drew him a bit younger than what we see him in the series because although the lore-accurate age gap between them is 13 years (while keeping both of the projects set in 2006), Jake's mother died when he was eight years old and we had to shift a few things around if we wanted them to be full blood siblings. (bear in mind, we have some alternate versions of the story where they're only half brothers or not related at all, but as far as the Traditional or Main Au goes, they share both parents)

You don't learn much about Jake's mother in either the series or the novel, so Caitlin and I took the liberty of writing a story for her ourselves. Her name is Diana. To whom we've cast Josefine Frida Pettersen.

To keep the two boys from being identical, I partially redesigned Nigel to look more like her. The resemblance being in the wider nose, rounded lips, and softer face shape. As opposed to Jake, who (in my opinion and to Nigel’s dismay) shares features more closely to John (still face modeled from David Threlfall) e. his sharper nose, more hollowed face, and geometric lips.

Diana was, in short, an adventurous and innocent spirit. One that caught John’s attention when she was only 17 years old and while John was traveling abroad, likely giving lectures on history or whatever else his profession was that tied back to Diana. (I don't believe we have the exact age of John at the time. But older. He was much older)

Like all stories that end in tragedy, they fell in love.

Despite their affection for one another, John had no plans of commitment to her or any sort of real loyalty whatsoever. He could see even then that she wasn't “fit” for him, and should they marry and he bring her back to England, she would have no place in the order and would ruin his perfect image with her reckless and carefree nature. Not to mention, Diana was an ill woman (much like either of her sons), she'd get caught between manic and depressive moods- ones that John hadn't the patience to care for. So when the time came, and Jake was eventually born, he left.

The expectations and delusions of a greater purpose were not exclusive to Nigel, so it’s really no wonder Nigel eventually grew into them with John’s constant indoctrination cast onto Nigel from even his early childhood. Like father like son, John believed that his line was too significant to be thrown to waste by some American teenager and so, John returned to England with the intent of finding a real wife who was better suited for his lifestyle. A woman who would obey his command and flatter his dominant nature, unlike Diana who was defiant and had some sway over him that almost brought out his inner vulnerability, proving that there was humanity within.

John met Helen. They married and although his love for her wasn't comparable to how he had felt with Diana, he made peace with this life and planned to settle and start a family with her, paying no mind to the one he had previously abandoned. Helen seemed best equipped for the job, to give him an heir; one with her temperament that would undoubtedly behave such as she did by his command, but after years of trying to conceive a child, they both realized the day would never come. So badly did Helen want a child. Her longing came not only from her grief of not being able to bear children but at the thought of failure. That same feeling of defeat at Helen’s infertility plagued John and sent him back to America, and I wish I could say it was his determination to remedy her heartache that drove him to such acts of evil, but that alone was not the case.

Exactly as he had been betting on, he found Diana waiting for him. Now she was roughly 24-25 years old and no longer the immature child he abandoned- but rather, a mother- so he had to plot carefully in order to succeed.

John manipulated and took advantage of her still naive and hopeful nature, of her optimism that they could be together now as they had once dreamed of.

He fed into her fantasy, enabling her to believe that it was a mistake and simply ignorance that motivated him in abandoning her. One thing remained true in each of his lies, he did still love her, and that feeling would outlast everything.

In due time, Diana was pregnant once more. They celebrated their gift but Diana could still feel the distance between herself and John, but she could never name exactly what it was- and maybe a part of her just didn’t want to confront it. There was something that he wasn't telling her, and she knew that. Even with her flaws, she was a saint; more forgiving than any rational woman ought to be, but it was her love for John that clouded her better judgment and put her life at stake.

During this time, Jake didn't see much of his father. He recalled him as a cold and stern man that would on occasion, attempt to win him over with expensive toys. Action figures of brave knights that John would tell him stories about, those memories faded quickly, but what he remembers fondly, was how happy John had made Diana.

The most important takeaway was that they were still in love, but nothing was more clear to Jake even at such a young age than how the growing baby inside her made his mother smile and hum to herself in the early morning while she took her vitamins and allowed Jake to pick out one for her, one for baby. Jake was overjoyed to soon have a little sibling that he could stir up all kinds of trouble with, and on the day that Nigel was born, Diana insisted that he get to hold him first while seated on the tile of their quaint home on the shore in Cape Cod, Massachusetts.

John, as absent as ever, was pleased to learn the next morning that the baby was healthy when he could finally be bothered to visit his post-partum wife whom he had neglected during labor. All ten fingers and toes. The baby had his own dark hair but Diana's grey eyes that were sure to turn blue. He hadn't thought of a name, that was for Helen to decide. But Diana had already called him Nigel, and of all the things he would soon strip from her, the boy's name was not one that he could bring himself to take.

Merely weeks were all that Diana and Jake had with Nigel. A few months of bliss that were increasingly growing tense as John's treatment towards his happy family darkened and he turned on them as if becoming impatient. He spent less and less time with his older son and distanced himself from Diana as much as possible, but Nigel was shielded from any hateful behavior and was instead adored for a span of time while John made the necessary preparations to bring him home. Then on an empty and almost chilling night, John took the baby from Diana’s side where he slept with her in bed still, and left without a trace.

Diana was heartbroken. She knew immediately what happened but no one would help her and it almost seemed as if no one believed this mad woman. She lost herself in her grief. Jake watched her anguish from afar, still not quite old enough to understand what was happening, just that they had lost something and would never get it back. Diana had seen the last of her baby, she assumed the same for her oldest son.

Diana dressed Jake warmly one day, bundled him in layers, and took him by the seaside, telling him to wait there.

Diana drowned herself, accepting defeat and unable to face her suffering any longer, and Jake was taken in by his neighbors- by Simone and her family- and from there, the canon story unfolds for Jake.

As for John upon his return to England, he presented the baby to Helen like a prize he had fought bravely for in war. Nigel became John’s pride and joy as he was proudly displayed in front of his pretentious colleagues. That was until Nigel began to grow strikingly more resemblant to Diana with each passing day, and although Helen still had it in her heart to love him- in Nigel’s face and rebellious attitude, John saw the woman he had sacrificed. During the days of his youth, in Nigel’s messy hair that surely would’ve been tangled with saltwater and sand after long afternoons spent with his real mother, John could only see the woman he had taken advantage of. Therein lies his hatred towards his son; a haunting reminder of the poor fair maiden he had traded in exchange for his perfect heir.

Firstly, John tried to discipline this part of Nigel out of him. As if to exorcise Diana's spirit out of him like he could drain every ounce of her blood from his being, but the more strain he put on the boy, the more he reminded him of his mother. Nigel's demeanor shifted and his mental state cracked in the same way Diana’s had, and it became thoroughly agonizing for John to witness until he was left no choice but to send him away at 17 years old. The same age she had been when John began to ruin her. No one is haunting the narrative quite like Diana.

In some aus, the events of both stories still take place, others are set just before or maybe after. Then in our more abstract storylines, the canon lore just never happens at all, but in most cases, Nigel (often accompanied by Alex) flees to America in a desperate attempt to escape. Why he was called to America specifically likely had to do with half of his heritage, but he didn't know that. It just felt like the best option at the time. America is so large and is rarely well versed on the criminal cases taking place in England, at least well-versed enough to actively be on the hunt for two psychotic teenagers.

Oddly, Nigel and Jake’s first interaction is something that has never been directly hashed out. Regarding how exactly Jake and Nigel met, there are a couple of different approaches we've taken but it’s ultimately better left open-ended. But, it takes a LOT of warming up for the both of them to even get to the point of trust that we see pictured above as Nigel is reluctantly seeking affection but only as long as Jake isn’t looking at him.

They live in Jake’s small but ridiculously priced apartment and slowly, incrementally, Jake begins to introduce Nigel to the truth of their parentage- however best he can remember it. As on par for Nigel, he's a bit suspicious of it all. He’d known his lineage had to have been partially false given dominant genetics and the things John had refused to tell him, but that didn't mean he was being dealt the whole truth by Jake, and it wasn’t easy to completely forsake Helen (if he ever fully manages to accomplish that).

Caitlin is more of a Nigel + Diana truther, but I like to desperately cling to his canon roots and decide how it affects him and his relationship with the stranger claiming to be his brother.

Does Jake know what Nigel and Alex have done? That’s purely circumstantial and dependent on what is currently being discussed in the au. Mostly, Jake overlooks it or channels his inner Diana to refuse to acknowledge the warning signs he’s seeing or hearing in the person he cares about. Jake, blamelessly, is willing to trade or overlook a few atrocities in exchange for Nigel’s return because if he can't have his mother back, he'll (maybe begrudgingly) accept his brother.

There are too many variations of the brothers’ story post-reunion for me to elaborate much on that, I also saved you their character descriptions because I’m assuming anyone who reads this is mostly aware of the basics of their characters and exactly what sort of troublesome dynamic that would create. Predominantly, the au consists of dumb memes or any excuse to make tragic media about our favorite miserable characters and worsen their lives.

How it ends? It doesn't. Well, it does, but in many ways. Sometimes Nigel leaves again (either physically or in death), other times Jake isn't so forgiving of Nigel’s crimes and is killed for his knowledge of it or it drives them apart at the very least, (I don’t believe we’ve ever considered the alternative of Jake turning the boys in, however. He’s still loyal to his brother, but to a fault), and then of course, there's the possibility of psychopathic mind games inflicted onto Jake so Alex and Nigel can use him for their own betterment. That one is quite rare though.

Caitlin is about to pull up in her New Bugatti and tell me that I got it all wrong and she would be entirely justified in that because my memory of all that goes on in the au is so scattered because it’s been going on since December 2023.

Feel free to correct me on any of this, Caitlin. Or even add on. I had something more intelligently written but then scrapped it all because it was reaching a truly ridiculous word count and I could bear it no longer. So I’m just firing from the hip here.

the creation of the au can be mostly credited to caitlin as it came about from an edit she made comparing he characters’ similar themes. once the knowledge struck that both projects were set in 2006, we began digging ourselves in too deep to escape. but if you see them drawn again, now you know who and what they are. they’re the closest i’ll ever get to having OC’s i fear.

[yan-lorkai]

Hello! I have a story request:

Undertaker (Black Butler) x Ciels sister!reader where maybe during the Campana arc reader kinda helps Ut. Like, maybe the fact that the dead are going to turn into zombies is almost revealed because (for example) a zombie breaks out of their coffin already, so reader lures it back? Idk. I just really want to read about the reader helping Ut because she wants to see him happy and smile and whatnot (I always get so happy when Ut laughs). Seeing as this would be yandere maybe reader is also just a bit obsessed with Ut? Not full blown yandere, just slightly codependent obsession?

Thank you! (Thank you if you do write it. If you don't write it then thank you for all your other wonderful stories)

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/n: This was a bit tricky considering the second part of your request, which I couldn't make it fit here, so I'm just mentioning rather than showing. Overall, I hope you enjoy it. Undertaker is always a delight to write to.

The night was heavy with tension, the air thick with the scent of incense and something far less holy - much heavier, as rotten blood and stitched limbs. The Campania’s lavish halls were brimming with the murmurs, laughters and music, all unaware of the dark secret that writhed below the surface - bodies resting in coffins, waiting for the signal to rise and attack.

Amidst this carefully constructed chaos, you stood near the back of the room, your eyes subtly darting from side to side, scanning for any signs of trouble. You had been on edge since Undertaker had whispered his plan to you, a smile playing on his lips, as if this entire twisted game was no more than a grand performance he had orchestrated.

And yet, when he had explained what he needed to do, you could see the glint of madness, the excitement in his eyes that had sent a chill down your spine. But it was that same glint you couldn’t resist, the way his eyes seemed to light up, the way he smiled that you jumped right onto his plan without him needing to ask you to.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

There was a shuffling sound, barely perceptible, and you stiffened, your hand clenching around the fan you held. Glancing around, your gaze quickly fell toward the source. One of the coffins was rocking slightly, the lid shifting as something within struggled to break free. Panic surged through you; this was too early.

The guests would see, and everything would unravel. Undertaker’s plan would be ruined.

Quickly, you moved closer, slipping past the other coffins with practiced ease. You reached the coffin just as the lid burst open, and a decaying hand clawed its way out, grasping at the air. The corpse’s eyes were wide, empty, and hungry, a sight that would have sent anyone else running in terror. But not you. You had seen far worse, working alongside Undertaker for a few months now.

You had heard Undertaker’s tales, his gentle whispers of how he had perfected this experiment, how it was all leading to this moment. You knew the lengths he would go to for his morbid fascination. And you loved the dreamy look on his eyes, even if you didn't quite understood what he planed to achieve with that.

With a calm that surprised even yourself, you stepped forward, positioning yourself between the coffin and the rest of the room. “Shh, shh… it's alright, dearie.” You whispered softly, your voice barely audible over the murmurs of conversation and the soft strains of the orchestra.

The zombie's head jerked towards you, its movements stiff and unnatural, but you didn’t flinch. Instead, you slowly extended your hand, letting it grasp at your fingers, and gently guided it back down. “I know you’re restless and confused, but you need to wait just a little longer,” you continued, almost as if you were speaking to a child. “Go back, and I promise you’ll be able to stretch your legs soon.”

“Well, aren’t you a brave little thing?” He drawled, his voice low, a touch of amusement lacing his tone as he gently caressed your cheek with a soft touch. “I must say, I didn’t expect my sweet little assistant to take matters into her own hands.”

With surprising compliance, the creature obeyed, retreating back into its dark confinement. You gently closed the lid, making sure it was secure, and let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. You could not be afraid, yet it was terrifying to speak with a dead being.

Turning back, you found yourself face-to-face with Undertaker, his lips curved into a wide, knowing grin.

You felt your cheeks heating up, but you couldn’t help but return his smile, even if just a little. “I couldn’t let your plan fall apart,” you said, keeping your voice light, though your heart was still pounding. “Besides, I know how much this means to you… I couldn’t stand to see you disappointed.”

Your breath hitched as his fingers lingered against your skin, the touch affectionate. The rest of the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in the dim light. “I’m not afraid because I want to see you happy,” you admitted quietly, averting your gaze, afraid to see his reaction. “I know how you are when you’re excited, and… I like it.”

Undertaker’s grin widened, and he took a step closer, his gloved fingers brushing a stray lock of hair from your face. “Oh, my dear, always so considerate, always thinking about me,” he murmured, his eyes gleaming with something you couldn’t quite place.

“You know, you’re quite the enigma yourself. So delicate, yet so fearless when it comes to helping me play with my little experiments. Are not afraid of them? Of me?”

Undertaker’s eyes softened, and for a moment, his grin melted into something more tender, more genuine. He tilted your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze, and the look he gave you was almost reverent. “You’re quite the fascinating creature yourself, little dove.”

His voice barely above a whisper. “Always so eager to please, even when you should be running the other way. I wonder… do you even realize what you’re getting yourself into?”

You knew you should have been afraid, but instead, you felt a warmth spreading through your chest. There was something almost intoxicating about the way he looked at you, as if you were the only person in the world who could understand him, who could share in his dark, twisted delight.

“I don’t care,” you replied softly, your voice steady. “As long as I’m with you, I don’t care what happens.”

Undertaker chuckled, the sound low and rich, and he leaned in, his lips brushing against your temple. “Then I suppose it’s a good thing you’ve already chosen your side, my dear,” he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. “After all, there’s no turning back now… and I do so love having you by my side. I won't let you get away now, not even if your little brother found us out, not even if the whole world goes up in flames, you're my pretty assistant."

As you stood there, locked in Undertaker’s gaze, you realized you didn’t mind the darkness that surrounded him. In fact, it was that very darkness that drew you in, binding you to him in a way you couldn’t quite explain.

A smug smile grew on your lips. "Good to know because I'm not planning to let anyone separate us."

And as the night continued, you found yourself more certain than ever that you would do whatever it took to keep that smile on his face, even if it meant dancing along the edge of madness with him.

[lyrenminth]

JB9 request

They are divorced and have two children together, and he is jealous that she is leaving the kids at his house so she can go on a date. but the meeting was horrible, because the guy is not like Joe

This was a very specific and I had so much fun writing in. A little bit of angst at the end.

What we used to be

The decision for filing the divorce was consciously taken. It was done three years ago, while you went to a rough patch in your marriage. The decision wasn't easy, because you share two children together, and for them was equally hard to understand why mommy and daddy weren't together anymore.

One of the main reasons was after having children, you marriage went cold and dead. He was busy playing football and you were busy mothering a three years old and a nine months old. You didn't have the time to be a couple anymore.

Currently, you decided to start dating again after your friends prompted you to do so. It was difficult because you had to coordinate with Joe (now that you were co-parenting). And of course, was during the off-season because during his seasons you had the kids most of the time. On weekends you dropped the children with Robin so she would take them to the home game. It was a messy life, because you shared a lot of things as a result of the years together. Trying to get rid of Joe was impossible having children with his face and living in Cincinnati. So you made peace with that fact long ago. You got along for the children, he was kind and always asked for your opinion when included the family. And you were polite with him, but nothing else.

You send him a text. "Hey, I'm dropping the kids early this Friday. That's ok?"

Joey B: Yeah, that's ok. Are you busy on Friday?

You: Yeah, something came up. Your home or your parents'?

Joey B: My house. Everything alright?

You: everything alright

That was the last text. After that you waited earnestly for your date. You met John through friends, he seemed like a good guy. By looks, the completely opposite of Joe. John had one child already, and worked for a big company in New York but was living in Cincinnati two years now.

You thought it would be difficult if men knew who was your ex-husband because it had happened one time and it ruin the mood for everyone. Apparently, you completely fucked up or whatever. Well, John didn't know anything about football, he couldn't care less about the Superbowl and that was a pleasant surprise.

So on Friday, you drive Mackenzie and Julian to their dad's house. They were behaving well during all morning. And since it was off-season they could spent the weekend with Joe.

You parked the car, and for your surprise Joe was waiting for them outside.

"Dad!" yelled Julian, running towards Joe who was wearing pants and a hoodie. "Mom, can you help me with my backpack?" asked Mackenzie trying to open the door. You got out of the car, and help her. She made cookies for her dad, and was so happy to share.

You help her to carry the backpack until you were face to face with Joe, who was looking handsome as always.

"Daddy, I made cookies!"

"Daddy, can we play videogames?"

The children demanded attention equally, but Joe was still staring at you. Hard.

"Have I something on my face?" you asked, almost aggressively. You put some make up on and dressed in a nice dress for the occasion.

"No, you fine" he cleared his throat "Not your usual fit"

"Mommy is going on a date" Julian shout, excited. Joe's eyebrows raised, you laughed nervous.

"Well, kids behave well. Enjoy the cookies" you said trying not to look at your ex-husband. "Is that true?" he asked, he sounded kinda jealous. Maybe you were overthinking.

"Well, yes" not wanting to discuss anything further in front of the kids "Take care, Joey"

"Please, call me if you need something" he said, "Let me know you're safe"

Your heart flipped. Why he did those things before your date? Weird. You nodded, going back to the car.

John was a nice man. You were sure he was nice, just...not to you. After thirty minutes in the date he kept talking about himself and his work that you thought you were watching a TED talk. He was good looking, but soon you realize you didn't have anything in common by what he was saying. Your mind wandered to your first date with Joe, it was in a bowling alley. Things got competitive and you spent a really good time together that you hook up in your car after the date. Would you hook up with John? Nah.

"Do you need another drink?" John's voice brought you back from your wild thoughts.

"No, thank you"

"So, you told me your ex-husband was a football player, right?"

"Yes" you said cautiously "He still plays"

"And how do you get along?"

"We talked only for the kids"

"Ummm, sure" he dismissed your answer. You raised your eyebrows, astonished. "What do you mean?" you wondered.

"Nothing. I didn't tell you about this trip I'm going to make next month..." he started talking again.

Joe bought you drinks too. You loved his smile back then. Julian had the same smile actually. After getting married you had very nice dates too, but you loved to spend time at home watching movies and resolving puzzles.

The date went on, and you have to excuse yourself or would die of boredom. After the date you missed your children so much, but it was Joe's time with them. So you went to your house and waited.

On Sunday evening, you went to pick up the kids. After a couple of minutes, Joe appeared wearing shorts and a compression shirt. He looked really handsome, his sandy hair was messy, he looked younger somehow.

"Hey" you said, nervous.

"The kids are in the pool" he explained "Come in while I prepare them"

"Oh, no. I can wait in the car" you replied, pointing at your car. He looked up-and-down, and pressed his lips. You blushed like a teenager "I bet they want to see you"

"Okay" you whispered, follow him inside the house. "How was your date?" the question made you flinch. You didn't remember John at all. "Umm, it was good"

I was bored as hell, and thinking about you. How pathetic.

Silence. By the way he was looking at you, he didn't believe you either. You reach the kitchen and he offered something to drink and you decline. "Are you going to the OTAs early this year?" you wondered, hearing music and the children screams outside.

"No, I'm going to spend time with the kids" you nodded, pleased. Joe was a great father, you never doubted that.

You locked eyes, and your stomach made weird things. His eyes softened, and he got closer to you.

"Y/N can we talk about us?" he requested.

"What?" you were in panic mode "About what?"

"The divorce. I thought were struggling but I never listen to you" he said, seriously "Until you fill in the papers" Your heart sank. His lips were still pressed, the wrinkles on his forehead let you know he was stressed too. "I feel like we never had the time to stop and think what we're doing" he said softly.

The bump in your throat didn't let you speak properly. You tried anyway. "I try to speak to you, Joey. I tried to do many things to save our marriage. It didn't work, you were focused on football, and I felt utterly alone" you wipe a treacherous tear "We weren't a couple anymore. I didn't have a partner"

"Mommy! Daddy!" Julian got into the house all wet and hugged you. "Do you want to see how I jump into de pool?"

"Julian, mommy is here to pick you up" Joe explained "Go and tell your sister" Julian nodded and went happily to his sister. Joe attention was on you again. "We should speak about this with more time"

"Why? Are you trying to marry me again?" you joked frustrated he wasn't listening again. "Yes, I never wanted a divorce" he replied ardently. The confession hit you. "Then, why did you fill the divorce?"

"Because I was scared..." the footsteps didn't let him finish "I'll send you a message, please"

You left Joe's house confused and heartbroken. Even though, you couldn't avoid the hope growing in your chest.

Let me know if you want a second part. I think it would be cool.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Do it for Him | Do You Even Love Me? | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Voicing the thoughts that had been on your mind for so long leaves you broken and regretting every decision you've ever made. Pairing: Daughter in law reader x Father in Law Jungkook (Yändere) Word Count: 1.1k~ Warnings: An argument and some explicit language (kinda but not really) a/n: This is a hypothetical situation and is NOT what happens in the story. Oc and Jungkook don't end up together and I'll be writing another bonus chapter about how everything ends but this is simply a longer drabble that I just decided to make into a bonus chapter since I think some of you would be interested in reading it 😁 P.s. Requested by an annon 💜 (also written in one sitting so ignore any mistakes lol) Series Masterlist

"How was your day today?" I ask half heartedly, wondering if he'll actually speak to me like a human being today or skip to having sex again like he's done almost every time he's come to visit lately.

"It was fine but I don't want to talk about work since it looks like someone's been missing me huh?" he taunts, taking my want for interaction with him as a sign of an insatiable hunger he wishes I shared.

"I did miss you but I missed being with you, not just sex" I say, pressing on his chest to keep some space between us to show I'm serious and want to talk about this.

He stops and waits for me to continue but his eyes don't leave my body for a second.

"When I told you I loved you I didn't mean for our life to end up like this" I say, referring to the way we've been living for the past year.

"What's wrong? Did you need something else? You have my credit card and I told you before that you didn't have to ask me for anything. If you want it then get it. It's the least I could do for my beautiful Angel" he says while caressing my face but I take a step back, not letting him put me under his spell again.

"I'm not talking about money Jungkook. I'm talking about how I told you I didn't want to live as 'The other woman'. You told me you were going to get a divorce and let the children and I move in with you. Not just have you pop by at this separate house you have us living in" I say. 

He turns around and heads to the kitchen, gulping down a glass of water and placing the cup down on the counter. "I told you I would take care of it" he growls out while leaning both hands against the sink, clearly not appreciating the topic of conversation when all he had been looking for was a quick fuck.

"You told me that a year ago and from what I've seen you've been lying to me this whole time. Have you even filed the papers? You know that neither of you love each other so what's the point of keeping this whole charade going?" I say, following after him and standing my ground, not letting him drop this.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to center himself so he won't blow up on me like he has in the past. "These things take time Angel, plus going through a divorce would make my company take a big hit and might ruin some of the relationships I've built" he tries to explain but I'm not having it.

"If your company is all you care about then maybe all of this was a mistake" I say, turning around to walk into my bedroom with him following lazily behind me.

"You know I care about you too Angel" he says, leaning in the doorway while I've decided to plot down on the bed, running my fingers through my hair and trying to figure out if any of this was a good idea.

From the looks of it to any outsider this whole relationship was bound to go up in flames sooner or later. My life wasn't supposed to be like this. Was I really that naïve to think that somehow things would change if we were actually together? Did I really think that he was capable of loving me too?

"No I don't know that. I know that you love my body and that you love having sex with me and the idea of being with me and stealing me away from your son but I don't even know if you actually love me. Y/n. Not Angel, not the mother of your children, not the daughter in law that you took advantage of, just me" I spout off everything that's been on my mind and I can see that he starts to more or less assess our relationship and I really hope I'm going to get the answer I'm hoping for.

"You knew who I was when you first met me. You knew who I was when you married my son and you definitely knew what you were getting yourself into when you left him to be with me. I'm not this loving and kind husband that you want me to be and deep down you know that too. Do I care about you? Yes, I do. Do I love you? I don't know. I don't know if I do and I don't know if I ever will and if that's not good enough for you then be my guest, say the word and we can end this right now" he says and every condescending word that falls from his lips is like a knife through my heart.

I choke back a sob as my eyes glass over leaving him rolling his eyes, clearly not having the patience to deal with this today. 

"Seems like you've got some stuff to think about and from the looks of it I've got some business to attend to" he says, hinting at the headache it's going to be for him to go through with this divorce. 

He strides over to the bed where I'm sat with my head down, trying and failing to hold back my tears and picks up my chin. "Just remember who you're dealing with Angel okay? It will make all of ours lives so much easier if you stop thinking that you can change me" he says, caressing my face again, driving the knife deeper. 

"I am who I am and if you can't accept that then I think we have some hard decisions we'll need to make here" he says a wipes away a few of my tears before tapping underneath my chin twice and walking away. 

"Where are you going?" I ask, getting up and following him out, my vision going glossy. "It seems you're not in the mood that I thought you might be in so I think it's best if I go. Give my love to the children" he says over his shoulder and walks out, leaving me speechless and beyond heart broken, mourning the life I had with his son all over again and missing the feeling of loving someone and being loved in return. 

"What have I done?" I whimper, sinking to the floor and sobbing, wishing that I could take it all back. That I could start over and never get mixed up with this family no matter how in love I was with his son. I never knew that a love that was once so pure would be traded for one that is so devastatingly one sided, wrecking my life beyond compare and stealing what little pieces of me I had left. 

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[justwonder113]

Showering Felix with affection

Bang Chan; Lee Know; Changbin; Hyunjin; Han; Seungmin; IN;

Summary: Even though you feel more than secure in your relationship with Felix you still can't help but feel possessive sometimes...

Warnings: Slightly suggestive; Reader is whipped as always; Reader is slightly jealous/possesive; Reader is feeling like a mess? Half naked Felix(that needs a whole warning as itself); Felix being himself making reader lose their mind(from love? Idk it's like 3 am brain is not braining)

word count- 1.7k

A/N- I'm alive!!! This one took me way more time than I intendet to. But I'm glad how it turned out to be. I really worked my butt over it so I really hope you'll like it. Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated I'm really curious to know what you think. Thank you so much for all the support and kind comments, they mean the world to me and give me the biggest drive 🩷 I'll try to write and upload next part as soon as I can

If you like my work you can buy me coffee🩷

This was too much! Like way much more than you could handle! You didn't know if you felt was extreme pride for both your boyfriend's achievements and overall amazingness and the fact that he was, in fact, yours. Or the bitter feeling of jealousy, because your boyfriend basically stripped in front of thousands, no, millions of stays. There was no way in hell this clip wouldn't blow up the whole internet in minutes!

Being in a relationship with an idol sure came with a lot of challenges. You felt secure in your relationship, Felix, despite having millions of fans thirsting over him, never gave you any reason to doubt hiis love and sincerity. Sometimes the fact that Feliz had so many admirers made you feeel so much pride and boosted your confidence so much, the Lee Yongbok Felix, the man who could have literally anyone in the world, the man who had so many admirers chose you and stayed with you. The feeling was surely something else. You wondered what changed today. Was it because so many people saw him shirtless? The jealousy was gnawing you from the inside. Maybe it wasn't jealousy and rather than that you were feeling possessive. You didn't want to word this wrong, but you guessed that you considered Felix as yours, just as he perceived you as his, you were sure of it, you weren't really possessive and you would rather die than make Felix uncomfortable with an ugly feeling like that, it's just seeing that so many people saw him in different light you only had the pleasure of seeing really rubbed you the wrong way.

You kinda felt bad for feeling like this. Felix was the boyfriend one could only dream of. He only did his job as an idol and entertainer so why were you sulking like this? You knew that dating an idol was like. But for God's sake you were only human! Hearing other's thirsty comments made your blood boil. Others were trying to watch the show! You also almost had a cardiac arrest watching your boyfriend, but you still contained yourself (your panties were most likely(certainty) ruined)! You didn't make thirsty comments and disturbed others. Oh how you wished you could just walk up on the stage and really show them who Felix really belonged with. Oh to see the jealous looks on their faces, but no, you couldn't do it to Felix.

He told you that he was ready to tell the world about your relationship countless times but you knew it could affect him as an idol a lot so you told him that you knew he loved you and appreciated the gesture but he didn't need to do that. Also you were talking out of your butt as if you had any chance to go up on the stage with heavy security like this... You could still out your relationship! You just wouldn't do it to Felix. He didn't deserve to be in scandal because your pride was hurt.

Even after hours went by the bitter feeling didn't go away, and you were afraid Felix was starting to notice your absentmindedness. As you thought the internet was blown over it. Everyone kept gushing about Felix, and you felt both immense pride and bitterness.

Huffing out annoyed you got up from the bed to drink some water. You were in your hotel room with Felix. Others went in their own rooms to sleep. You were waiting for Felix to finish his shower. It was quite late, but you felt nowhere near sleepy.

You took a sip from your water and almost choked to death when you saw Felix emerge from the bathroom, towel hanging low on his lips. His waist and upper body glistening from the water, hair still damp and dripping. What was in the air tonight? This boy was going to be the death of you. He had to be crafted from the God's themselves because what the heck?! Most men you knew had either decent personality or decent looks and, in most cases, neither, and then you had this specimen. What the hell, how? He was also next to you softly patting your back the second you started choking on water. Like man pick a struggle it's unfair to be perfect in every way.

"Are you okay angel?" Felix asked with his deadly beautiful voice after you calmed down. You had to be thankful if you survived this day, or this boy generally.

"Yeah, I'm fine." It took you a few seconds but you managed to answer. God your heart was jumping out of your ribcage. Felix looked at you for a second then shook his head.

His warm hand engulfed yours, "You've barely spoken the whole night. Talk to me love, did something happen?" His thumb never stopped rubbing small circles on your hand. He always had such a calming effect on you and, usually, the second he touched you became so putty and melted like a puddle, but today it didn't seem to work. You were too on edge.

"Did I upset you with something?" Felix asked looking unsure yet remorseful, you felt guilty, too caught up with yourself you tuned out Felix, making him believe he was in the wrong. You straightened up and stood in front of him, his gaze carefully examining your every move. Normally, whenever he looked at you like that it made you shy away, but now you were feeling rather bold.

Not breaking the eye contact you got closer and closer slightly pushing him back so that in the couple of steps the back of his legs met the bed and it only took you a slight nudge to push him on the bed.

Not wasting a moment you straddled his lap. He didn't hesitate and put his hands on your waist. His thumbs slowly rubbing circles to soothe you into talking. He looked at you with wide eyes, he clearly didn't expect you to do something bold like this, but he didn't seem to mind it, quite the opposite, actually. You knew him too well to miss the mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Can I kiss you?" Felix quickly nodded his head. He leaned in pushing on his elbows and met you halfway to a kiss. His lips were soft as ever, you immediately whimpered at the touch, already feeling weak in the knees. Sometimes you felt as if Felix was some type of drug. There was no way the attachment and constant longing you felt towards him was normal. Especially his kisses. If you could, you would spend eternity caressing his soft lips with yours. His lips gliding over yours had you feeling euphoric. Mere brush of his lips against yours made you feel alive. You wondered if he knew how much you loved him.

Felix returned the kiss with just as much love and passion you put into it if not more. Once soft and slow kiss was now hard and passionate and was igniting you from inside. You didn't even want to lean back for air despite your lungs already starting to burn. He must have realized you actually needed air to breathe so he leaned back, but he still held you close. His lips now softly caressing your neck while you regained your composure. You were sure your neck would be a sight to behold in the morning. But to put it quite frankly, you didn't give a damn.

Your eyes met, he tried to say something but you didn't let him. God, you felt awful. But you didn't know what to do, what to say. You were in an emotional turmoil. You were a mess. All you knew was that you had to show him how much you loved him, how much he meant for you.

Moving from his lips you started to litter his beautiful face. His pretty nose, his pretty eyes, his forehead. You made sure to kiss his cheeks as many times as many freckles he had. The way Felix squirmed beneath you, the way he was all flushed up and embarrassed, how he couldn't hold the eye contact and the way his red and swollen pouty lips kept mumbling that you should kiss his lips instead was driving you crazy.

After placing one last kiss right beneath his jaw, you leaned back and took the sight in. Your heart was about to burst out of your chest. How did he look ethereal every given second?

"I love you so much, you know that, right?" You slowly muttered after a few long seconds of debating how could you force yourself to talk, or just simply what were you going to say. Felix looked at you for a second before suddenly moving you two, so that now you were beneath him, and he was on top. The sight of him hovering above you didn't really help your situation, like at all! Because now the light was hitting him from the back just right, and the shadows made his features look more defined and sculptured, and you were not feeling good at all.

"What are you doing?" You couldn't help but ask, you couldn't tell what his blank face meant. Felix smiled and your heart melted yet again. "Showing you just how much I love you. Also, I have to pay back for all the kisses you gave me, so brace yourself love." He winked at you and you couldn't help but giggle. What a dork. You were about to make a clever remark, but he shut you up by connecting your lips once again. His one hand sliding through your hair while the other arm wrapped around your waist drawing you closer. You've never felt safer and more loved. And you felt silly for ever worrying. This man loved you just as much as you loved him.

You smiled into the kiss and just let yourself go.

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated^^

If you like my work you can buy me coffee🩷

[softxsuki]

Hallo~ I’m not sure if urgent requests are even open~

But, uhm. Could you please write Kyojuro fluff and comfort abt gro*ming? It’s been something I’ve struggled with for a few years by now. While it wasn’t anything too bad, it was still traumatizing. I was often talked about inappropriate subjects online and was vented to by the person. I feel kinda dirty and shit.

anyways, uhm. If you’re not open for urgent requests, then take your time :). Thank you so much!! Love your works <33

Rengoku Comforts Reader Who Has Been Gr**med

Please don't read if mentions of gr**ming is more triggering for you than comforting please! I don't go into detail with it, but please proceed with caution!

| Pairing: Rengoku x Gn!Reader (PLATONIC) | Genre: Comfort | Post-Type: Headcanon | Word Count: 470 |

Warning: Very brief mentions of gr**ming, mentions of an older man talking inappropriately to someone under age, trauma

Note: Hi DB! Sorry for the wait. It's always a struggle for me to jump back into my writing after not writing for a while. I also don't think I've written much for Rengoku as a whole, so I'm pretty rusty still. Regardless, I hope this provides you with even a drop of comfort after going though this kind of situation. I made it platonic since I wasn't sure what you wanted with that, and I also tried to make it fit the DS universe rather than modern time, it's just how I prefer to write for DS, so I hope that's okay! Thank you for your support <3 Hope you enjoy!

Rengoku:

Kyojuro is an upstanding man who looks to protect those under him

So when he found out about your situation in receiving letters from a man who was older than you–too old for you, he took action quickly

He could immediately sense what was wrong with the picture, an older man having inappropriate conversations with you, who was much younger, as if it was normal…

Many questions formed in his head. How did you get in this situation? Had you realized right away what was going on or did it start to feel wrong over time? Who was this guy anyway?

Seeing how shaken you looked speaking to him about it, Kyojuro took you in his arms in a tight hug, his warmth immediately consuming you

You were his student, someone he had sworn to protect and teach–how could he have not noticed this was happening?

He’s already looking for ways to track this man down to give him a stern talking to and making sure he doesn’t do this with anyone else, hoping to put a stop to it before the man decides to take things even further next time

“You’re okay. It’s unfortunate someone of his age has resorted to such gross techniques in conversing so graphically to someone under the age of consent,” he says with a sigh, gently patting your back as he continues to hug you.

“This isn’t your fault, Y/N. I failed as your superior to notice something was going on. I should have been more vigilant so you didn’t have to experience something like this. I will find him and ensure justice is restored. He’ll be locked away and known as an outcast in his village. This I vow to you.”

He’d pull away from the hug and glance at you with a smile, patting your head gently

As the man of justice that he is, just know he will track this guy down and make him pay for traumatizing you

From that moment forward, he’s more aware of the letters you receive, hoping it’s just from your family, or friends who were your age and you knew

Kyojuro becomes your support through the days moving forward, continuously reassuring you that you did nothing wrong and it was only the man’s fault for targeting someone who couldn’t tell what he was doing was inappropriate

Tells you countless times that you aren't dirty or ruined, you're still you, his precious student; his view on you has remained entirely that same

He does a great job at keeping your mind off it though. Taking you on strolls through nearby villages where he introduces you to some people closer to your age that you’d make great friends with, as well as being his joyful self

He makes you feel safe and secure, the light of his flame surrounding you almost as a shield, ready to burn anyone that even thinks about hurting you physically or mentally ever again

You’re in VERY capable, warm hands

Posted: 7/8/2024

[oceanofsinners]

“They love me, they love me not.”

Yan!Pervy cupid x gn innocent succubi/incubi reader ♥︎

[mdni, or do, i don't care enough to block y'all tbh. NSFW, first time in a while writing it so apologies ack. tw/cw: mentions of violence, blood, religious stuff kinda. lmk if i have to add smth else too! also?? sorry for disappearing i got stuck in the hospital, ouchies!! also holy fuck this is 2.k words ive never wrote that much...]

Nova wasn't...normal. Well, to be fair, it wasn't their fault he was created this way. It was Father’s fault.

 

Being born a Cupid, but being unable to feel most emotions, or even love. How ridiculous. Pathetic, even. Compared to their brothers and sisters, he was useless.

 

They grew up alone and isolated, no one wanted a Cherub whose expression was always bored. No one wanted a Cherub who never wanted to play with the others or found joy in small things. 

 

He grew up in one of the few orphanages in Paradise, some human souls for foster parents who weren't able to have kids themselves, happy to have any.

 

Angels were meant to be cheerful and optimistic, they were neither. Many thought he'd grow up to be a Guardian Angel or an Archangel. 

 

Never a Cupid. Especially a Love Cupid. Maybe a Heartbreak Cupid, even Erotic Love Cupid, but Love? They didn't even truly understand what the word meant. Or so everyone thought. 

 

Angels were meant to be non-judgemental. Meant to be “kind” and believe in everyone. Angel’s are not. Angels are just as judgemental, perhaps even more than humans. 

 

The other Cupids always watched him in disdain when they were training, he always dragged their class down, being worse at it than most of the others.

 

But then, in high school, something changed. See, Angels and Demons typically don't like each other. 

 

Angels hate Demons for falling, and Demons hate the lies Angels say. But in the end, they are one and the same. 

 

Only one’s halo is broken, the other’s is perfectly fine. No, not halo, horns. If there was one thing special about Nova, it was their “halo“, or horns. 

 

They were a beautiful baby pink color that matched the pearly white hair that reached his shoulders, with pretty gold and bright pink streaks, that made their purple eyes pop. 

 

Even though Nova couldn't feel anything, he was beautiful. Freckles were made in the forms of constellations scattered over brown skin, and white eyelashes that looked like snowflakes. 

 

They were beautiful. Ethereal. An Angel, through and through. He never imagined they'd fall willingly, even hating the thought. 

 

But, maybe for one person, he would. That person is YOU. 

 

The Demons and Angels made an agreement, there was an academy built, for both Angels and Demons of all ranks and backgrounds, a sort of truce.

 

Nova was one of the angels chosen, amongst many others. They didn't care about it, just wanting it to be done already. To get the embarrassment over. 

 

Days turned into weeks of staying in the shadows, going to boring classes, eating lunch in empty classrooms, studying all night, and repeat. 

 

It was boring, but it's not like Nova had anything he could do about it. Another day of stupid school, of stupid wars between haughty Angels and Demons who liked fighting. 

 

Except this time, Nova got caught in the crossfire. Cuts covered their skin, golden blood leaking down and ruining his beautiful clothes.

 

One of the Demons had them pushed up against a wall, claws to his throat, and they stood there blank gaze. Nova raised a brow as the Demon got pushed, and went to walk away. 

 

Then YOU came. You seemed confused at the fight, trying to make peace despite it being fruitless. You paused at the sight of him, before gasping and quickly running over. 

 

“Ah, you're bleeding! Gosh, I told these dummies to stop fighting, they just don't listen!” You frowned, trying to appear upset but you just looked like a kicked puppy with a pout. 

 

You pulled them off to the side, reaching inside a black messenger back absolutely covered in cutesy stickers and pins from different bands. 

 

Nova took the time to look at you, really look at you. It was strange. Why was his heart beating so fast? Wings fluffing up? You were beautiful. One of the prettiest Demons they’d ever seen. 

 

That's what clued him into what you were, an Incubus or Succubus. Really, there was no difference between the two except for their behavior. Incubus tended to be more assertive, and Succubus more passive. 

 

Before Nova could think about anything else, you pulled a first aid kit out, opened it up, and pulled a pack of bandaids out. 

 

You started disinfecting their wounds, before putting those cute, colored bandaids on each wound.

 

Nova looks silly like this, mostly black, Gothic ensemble, even with his pastel eyes and horns, they still looked less like an Angel and more like a Demon. 

 

And there you were, broken halo turned into a pair of horns, dressed in cutesy clothes, putting brightly colored bandaids on the mean-looking Cupid. 

 

With every fleeting touch, Nova felt embers light under his skin, his cheeks warming even further. ‘...What...What is this feeling? I don't...’

 

Before Nova even realized it, they were leaning even further into your cold, almost dead touch. You paused, before giggling and roping your arms around his shoulders. 

 

“Wow! You're super friendly, I like you, your hair too, it's super duper long! What's your name?” You asked, playing with his long hair, curling it around your fingers.

 

“Casanova. But people call me Nova, usually. What's yours?” Nova looked up at you, a lovesick hazy look in his purple eyes, heart pupils. How amusing. A Cupid falling for an Incubi/Succubi. What are the odds? 

 

“Oh! Right! It's—” Before you can finish, a teacher begins herding everyone to their classes. Nova’s pissed —‘How...Why do I feel so angry?’— but goes along with it, delighted to see you wave with a sheepish grin, fangs showing. 

 

Nova doesn't know your name. But he doesn't need to. You're his angel in their mind, the one and only made for him. 

 

Very quickly you become a prominent part of his life, their parents even allowing you to stay at their house while the program goes on, happy to see their child so happy for once. 

 

With so many emotions suddenly hitting him all at once, it's no shock they fall harder than he should, becoming obsessed fast and hard. 

Nova begins realizing things they'd never realized before. The curves of your body. Those soft eyes he wants to see sobbing from pleasure. Those lips open, gasping their name—

 

But it ends far too soon. The program is forced to close, and you're gone just as fast as you came. Nova hates how empty he feels when you're gone, wondering how he ever lived without you.

 

He feels cold inside, a part of him disappearing with you. Something they can NEVER get back. He tries to be normal, smiling when he should, crying when he should, just be normal. 

 

It's easy for a while. To pretend. No, BE normal. Far too soon, or maybe far too late, he graduates high school. Then college. 

 

Years fly by, “friends” come and go, lovers he didn't give a shit about disappear after they get bored, and more and more blood then just his is on their hands. 

 

But you weren't always gone. You'd sneak out of hell and sneak onto paradise sometimes, and hang out with them. But it wasn't enough. He wanted all of your time and attention on him. Just once, they want someone to be there as a constant. 

 

Eventually he lands a job at Soulmates Corp. A Cupid work place, and he starts working. It's actually pretty simple and interesting. Sure, they don't use bow and arrows — usually. But being able to look through humans lives, to choose who they fall for. It's interesting. 

 

And then, one night, you innocently invite him to a club in hell. They instantly agree, after all, it's YOU. His angel, their savior, his LIFE LINE. Their EVERYTHING. 

 

Funnily enough, over the years the two swapped clothing styles. Nova wore more cutesy, sweet, pastel color clothes, and you wore darker, more “sexy” clothes. 

 

Nova arrived at the club, absentmindedly toying with the pockets of his pastel blue cardigan. Tonight would be the last night of your freedom - independance, after all! 

 

Nova walks in, you on his side, some of your friends accompanying the two of you. He could care less about these bastards, and soon makes sure to seperate you from your “friends”.

 

He watches you with loving eyes the entire night, making sure you get drunk so bad you can't stand. It's easy, you're too trusting. Too innocent for this world. 

 

He'll save you, just like you saved them! Eventually they take you to their place. At first it's tame. Friendly. 

 

“N—Novaaahhhh...C’mere, I hic! wanna see yer pretty faceeee...” Your voice is whiny, the alcohol really hitting you hard. Nova coos, walking over. 

 

They yelp, quite loudly, as you drag them onto the bed, curling into his side. It's innocent. His thoughts should be too. 

 

But all they can think about is your chest pressed against their arms, how easy it would be to just slip your shirt to the side, and touch. Feel.

 

He shakes his head, even if you're both drunk, he can't take advantage of you like that. They refuse to taint you, and that pretty little head of yours. 

 

Stuck in their own thoughts, Nova doesn't even realize you straddle him until it's too late. Your eyes are hazy with lust and alcohol, and he can't help but gulp nervously. 

 

“Angel, really, you...you need to sleep.” Nova tries to reason with you, but reasoning with a horny, drunk Demon, much less an Incubi or Succubi is like arguing with a wall. 

 

You whine, lips lazily smashing against his. Nova can't help but melt into it, and they hate how hard they are from just a touch, a single kiss. 

 

This is wrong. Both of you know this. Yet neither of you can stop it. One kiss turns into two, into three. 

 

“An-Angel!” Nova gasps out as you nip at his collarbone, their neck already covered in love bites and pretty blue and purple bruises. 

 

“Mmph..Wan’ more...Need more, Nova...” You growled out, one hand playing with his chest the other curled in their hair. 

 

More marks. More bites. So many. He looked so pretty like this, a crying mess under their ‘innocent’ friend. 

 

Still, he held enough restraint to stop you, not wanting to ruin your first times together. But, due to your insistence, they do give you some pleasure~

 

Nova sits on his knees, you splayed out on their silk sheets, your slick dripping onto the bed as you whined. Hips jerking up to meet his tongue, hands curled around their halo. 

 

Nova’s tongue swirls against your sex, whining from the taste of your juices against his tongue. It was better then he imagined all those nights, hand playing with their cock, desperate for some relief. 

 

With every swipe and sucking of his mouth, you get closer and closer to that sweet relief you desperately need. With one last gasp, your eyes roll back and hips buck against Nova’s mouth. 

 

Nova laps up every bit of your sweet essence, fucking you through your orgasm. He's gentle after you finish, murmuring praises into your ears as they carry you to their bathroom. 

 

During the bath you end up falling asleep, Nova carries you to bed and the two fall asleep, intangled in each other. 

 

It's morning. Your eyes flutter open, yawning softly as you groaned. Fuck, that's a horrible headache. You glance around, pausing as you feel a weight beside you. What the...

 

Your eyes glide to the person laying beside you, and you pause, your cheeks warming. Nova. You're in Nova’s bed. 

 

Nova, the Cupid boy you met as a kid. Nova, the Cupid you fell for, hard. Nova, the Cupid who always seemed so clueless and innocent. 

 

And they truly look like an Angel right now. The sun shines against against his white hair and skin beautifully, wings folded behind them. 

 

Your face feels even warmer as embarrassment fills you as you see bite marks all over their neck. Bite’s are how Demon’s mark their claim, usually on their mates. Angel’s too. 

 

He let you bite them. And yet, you can't find yourself to be mad over it. Nova’s eyes flutter open, glancing up at you. A soft smile appears on their face, as they lean up and kiss you. 

 

The Angel traps you in his wings and you giggle, curling into them. He's yours, and your his even if you don't know yet. 

 

You took their heart a long time ago. It's time he takes yours too. ♥︎

[aristia-pjoheadcanons]

hi✨adore your thoughts and headcanons to the moon and back with how detailed and in character they are. dark!percy has always been incredibly alluring and fascinating, so I was wondering about your presentation/analysis of him. if you're comfortable (if not, it's totally okay and just ignore it!), could you write percy and child of any "dark" like hades, or hecate, nyx (or whoever) god, who understands how scary and tough it can be when you and your powers are so destructive, and they help him to kinda adjust to this side of him and understand that he isn't a bad person for that (cause this guy already has a lot of self hatred). maybe kinda chaotic dumbass enemies to lovers? sfw or nswf - whatever works for you. sorry for this ramble! just so many thoughts about him...

hope you have a good time of a day🤟

DARK!Percy headcanons

authors note: Can I just say, I've been WAITING for a question like this. More Dark Percy headcanons everyone!! plss!!

warnings: mentions of abuse & neglect, suicidal and intrusive thoughts, impulsive thoughts, mentions of eating disorder, chaotic family life, Gabe Ugliano...

okay, this is a mixture of headcanons of his CHILDHOOD but also an ANALYSIS of DARK PERCY.

cigarette burns from Gabe. Not just because Gabe did it, some of Gabes older friends (a long time ago, before the lightning theaf book) told Percy to come closer and burnt it into his forearm. Gabes eyes turned into shock but then he poked a tongue in his cheek and scoffed in laughter, giving Percy a judgemental look - *its a classic look, the type of look you give someone when you're looking down on them.

Percy would be so angry at Gabe, sometimes he would snap and tell him to shut up because Gabe would watch TV late in the night and fall asleep with the TV on until morning. At some point, Percy opened the door and screamed on the top of his lungs to shut the fuck up, slamming the door, sleep deprived and exhausted, locking the bedroom door bc he was scared Gabe would do something - and sobbed loudly. He was just a kid, but he already learnt how to fight. Sally tried to give reassurance but Percy wouldnt open the door. The incident was deemed "nightmares" on Percy's part, and Sally let him sleep in her bed.

Sally and Gabe never shared a bed. Gabe snores, sometimes even has nightmares, other time she would bother Sally about a new babyboy they could have, as if Percy wasn't good enough to be his son.

One time Sally asked Percy if he ever wanted siblings. the truth is, yes, but with Gabe Ugliano? no way. fuck no. He said no in a really moody and almost bitchy way, and walked out of the house and went to school.

Percy had the habit of keeping his shoulders scrunched up when he slept. He still does, but he doesn't understand why his body tenses up when he sleeps - Gabe isn't there anymore.

He also had the habit of lowering his head, shoulders and hunching when he walked - but once he met Annabeth over the summer he kept his back more straight - and never hanged his head when he walked. He noticed and felt more relief.

When people asked what he was doing for the summer, weight was lifted off his shoulders when he said SUMMER CAMP - finally he had something to do during summer! Every kid in school went somewhere nice, now even Percy does. He felt like he could finally share a bit of the same intrests as everyone else. He could actually tell people about his summer.

You know when the teacher forces everyone to tell a little bit about their summer - now finally percy could say confidendtly he did somethign fun instead of making something up.

struggles with anger, but understand it got so bad he broke his own first laptop 3.5months of having it - he broke the screen in half with his bare hands. He regretted it so much and hid it but his Sally found out.

Regrettfully, this made Percy believe he would always ruin/sabotage things for himself, and that he doesn't deserve nice things. Letting his mother buy his clothes, never aksing for new clothes... whats the point?

Besides, Gabe was stingy with his money. Gabe even refused to buy shampoo which is stupid cause its cheap asf - but Gabe wanted the feeling of control.

the dynamic of the family and house changed. The living room was Gabes, not Sally and Percy's spot. Gabe even took Percy's side of the couch and his spot at the dining table. Percy stubbornly refused to move, but Gabe is scary and big for his size so he did it to be civil for his mother. He felt like he lost something that day.

When Gabe was out late, Percy would lock the door and put the chain on. Gabe would unlock the door and try to get inside, but the chain stopped him. Gabed huffed in frustration and Sally had to get up and open the door - which burned Percys heart because he realized that nothing could keep Gabe out.

Percy would generally be a very bitter person to be around, people would shy away from him and sometimes stop talking when he tried to join in.

self image, self-confidence and self respect was low. But actually scratch that, his self respect was high. he put boundaries down pretty fast with other people because he knew everything that gabe did was no, and everything that sally did was yes. but at some point he disliked Sallys touch just slightly bit, because he knew Gabe had held her hand earlier.

he would talk to sally for hours on the couch, but as soon as the door clicked opened he walked to his room and closed the door. He didnt want to be near gabe. but then gabe started to trash his room, and percy was basically forced to sit in the living room.

he felt like he was playing "family" or pretending everything was okay, as if Gabe wasn't neglectful, but he felt sick.

At some point Percy's anxiety and stress because to normalized within himself that he nowadays cant tell what anxiety even is - and he would sometimes even say hes never had anxiety, because its basically been with him from such a young age, he cant tell the difference.

pretending to be "family" was even worse walking around the mall with sally and gabe. gabe was just this big giant slob of goo that would follow everywhere, and gabe would even huff and puff shamelessly if they were taking too long. gabe even got angry if sally found something nice for herself, he was possesive.

started taking only an apple with him to lunch, 1. he thought he was fat. 2. gabe wouldnt buy anything he liked and they had to stick with the basics. 3.his lunch was embarrassing even though everyone ate cafeteria food.

he got so happy the first time he could bring something "normal" to eat or if he got money to buy lunch, his reason being that he could finally "blend in" insteading standing out as a "freak".

he has a burn mark on the backside of his ankle, near his achillies, burn himself bc of Gabe.

hates it if someone traces the cigarette scars on his arm, even hates it if Annabeth does it - he still struggles with his self image and probably wont like that part of himself until he grows old and gray.

one time he vented to someone about his childhood and they stopped talking to him. never spoke ever since, was afraid that someone would use it against him. hasn't even told his mom or sally half of the things Gabe said or did to him/behind his back.

one time gabe pissed on the clothes percy was wearing but blaimed it on percy. ofc his mother believed percy but it was still shameful for percy.

in second book of sea of monsters, a kid asked if percy let his mother buy his clothes - actually stopped letting his mother buy clothes for him after that.

he would naturally adopt people that were outcasts and be a friend - because people were rarely there for him when he needed it.

needs validation, but couldnt get it from school. his friends would praise him but he could barely accept those compliments because at the end of the day he was still a loser too.

his mother would be his studdy buddy, and tried to help percy with homework - but still found everything hard.

gabe got angry with percy would "dirtying everything" but Gabes the only reason why his mom has to clean daily.

Dark Percy would definitely develop from a young age, but it became a lot more present behind the scene of the books.

he desires comofort, safety and a space where he can be himself without having to walk on his toes around the place.

Honestly, NSFW

He suppresses his moans because he was used to being quiet when he was around Gabe.

He has jacked off quietly, watched any videos quietly, no sound and even with headphones get sscared that someone might hear.

One time he stayed up late bc of whatever reasons and his stepfather Gabe yelled "GO TO BED", the next morning Gabe complained about how loud Percy was when Percy was away at school (this was early middle school, school wasnt that far away). And his mother Sally defended him and said she believes that Percy goes to bed when he should/when she tells him to, this made Percy feel bad so he went to bed on time every since, or at least tried too. If he ever stayed up, he learn how to breathe quietly too.

The feeling of shame for touching yourself, feeling pleasure, and arousal was strongly in him from a certain age - Gabe's influence for even trying to be HAPPY or LAUGHING with his mother made him feel shame for any good feeling sexual or not.

[scribble-bunnie]

Let You Go | Tenth Doctor x GN!Reader

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: Tenth Doctor x Reader (Gender Neutral, I think, I didn't specify anything)

Word Count: 2.1k

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending that's also kinda Open?

Summary: Fragments of the process of falling in love with you; and the moment it all built up to.

A/n: This is my first time writing for this fandom and I'm only watched till the 2nd episode of S4 so please forgive any mistakes! Also, the Doctor might be ooc (my biggest nightmare, writing ooc characters) but I was possessed last night to write this instead of studying so ofc I will share it. The pacing is all over the place and I'm not the proudest but it's something. I hope you enjoy it regardless <3

also available on ao3!

The Doctor doesn't remember how it happened. It had been too quick, or maybe too slow– or maybe it was both at once, leaving him unable to pinpoint when or how he fell in love with you. All he knew was that it had been easy.

There were moments though– moments when he could remember distinctly the unusual rhythm of his hearts that played only around you. Moments when, in the back of his mind, he had no choice but to admit that he was in love.

The one that hurt him the most to this day was the moment born out of his own anger. It had been at the end of a particularly harsh adventure, one that had left his feelings in a jumble, anger hot and quick to lash out the moment you had pushed a little too far, too close to his heart and to his hurt– he had shouted at you, "Don't you dare! You are not special!"

There was silence for a few seconds, enough to get the Doctor to realise what he had said but it was your response that still haunted him to this day.

"I know," you had said gently. He could see the hurt in your eyes, masked with an understanding and soft smile that was reassured. "I know I'm not special. I'm perfectly ordinary. And isn't that wonderful? Someone special like you needs someone ordinary like me by his side– to remind you that it's okay to be ordinary sometimes. It's not a bad thing, Doctor."

You had inched closer and opened your arms to offer him a hug, a way out of the conversation – a silent way to make an apology. He had taken it, not knowing what else he could have done instead to make you realise that you were wrong. Being ordinary was wonderful, but you were special. Special to him in ways he was too terrified to admit even to himself, so much so that he had said the opposite in a fit of anger because he was scared.

He didn't know how you did it, but you somehow knew that his anger was just him being hurt and scared. And you were always generous with your hugs when anyone was afraid– didn't he know that after seeing you hold so many strangers close while on your dangerous adventures? Those same strangers that he had been jealous of had been replaced by him in that situation and suddenly, the moment was not all that he had hoped it would be. It wasn't a delicate and vulnerable moment like he had thought; he had ruined it by hurting you.

Yet you were never one to hold a grudge. You never really mentioned it, except in passing sometimes when you joked about being ordinary and common whenever an alien or person would think you extraordinary. Every single time, the Doctor regretted not letting you know the truth– but that moment had been one where he couldn't have denied the truth even if he was scared.

There were other times, other memories of you that were a lot more warmer to remember. Like the time when you had asked him, a few days after joining him, whether the TARDIS was alive. He had answered you with a simple yes, and you had just nodded then but he could see you take the time to pet the TARDIS and speak to her sometimes when you thought he wasn't around. It was sweet, the way you were connecting to his only constant through all of time and space.

There was a moment on another planet, one in the far past where an alien species had been under attack from another. The Doctor still remembered the sight of you holding the alien child in your arms while you all tried to escape– had heard the comfort you had whispered into the child's ears despite being scared underneath the surface yourself.

When he asked you about it later, you had just given him a radiant smile and said, "The fear is just my natural instinct, Doctor. But the conscious part of me knows that you are there– and it's never scared because it believes in you."

You believed in him.

Sometimes, he wondered why. On the days when all the two of you encountered was death and destruction, the whispers of the danger that follows the Doctor clanging in the back of his head as hollow reminders, he wondered why you would choose to put all your faith in him. Why would you think that he was special, but you were ordinary? How were you able to still offer him comfort after seeing him destroy planets, species, entire civilizations? What did you see in him, an empty shell of a man he once used to be?

"Doctor?"

Your voice was like a steady anchor whenever he felt like he was drowning in his own thoughts. The loud volume of it was always offset with the gentleness in your tone whenever you spoke to him, and somehow, it always managed to make him feel warm. It sounded a lot like ho–

"Doctor, are you okay?" Your voice was concerned now. The Doctor blinked, snapping out of his own thoughts to look at you. You were holding something in your left hand and reaching out to touch him with your right one. "Is there something I can do?"

"No, no!" He cleared his throat, giving you a bright grin that faded a little at the edges when he realised that you were still staring at him impassively. "Sorry, just got a bit lost in my thoughts there."

You hummed, wrapping your arms around the box in your hands now. The Doctor looked at it curiously; wasn't it one of those cookie tins that you said were always full of sewing materials?

"Was it… about her?" You asked quietly, a little unsure and hesitant. It was the only topic you never really brought up– and whenever you did, you always sounded a little scared. Like anything you said would hurt him too much. Or maybe you were scared to pry too far into his feelings. "The planet we went to today… Did you go there with her?"

He had done that before. You had been there with Martha, when he had taken you two to places he had been with Rose. Never again after that, though.

"No, not this one," he shook his head, trying to look you in the eyes. It was usually so easy, you were always looking at him with wide eyes that seemed to admire him. Now though, you were looking away. He tried again. "I wasn't thinking about her."

"Home, then?" You finally looked him in the eyes, a little tension sucked out but not all. Gallifrey was the second topic you were careful to speak around. You had had your fair share of answers demanded out of him like Martha had, but after that, you had let the choice lie with him whether he wanted to talk about it. And, weirdly enough, sometimes he wanted to tell you everything. Wanted to tell you about the place that once used to be his home. Now…

"This is my home now," he replied quietly, hand slipping to cover yours over the cookie tin. You and the TARDIS. Home. "Anyway, what's this?"

If you realised his terrible attempt at switching topics (which you did, as always), you didn't comment on it. Instead, you held up the box and opened it to reveal not the notorious sewing materials but actual cookies.

"I," you blushed, embarrassed for once. It was surprising, considering you had held steadfast through far more humiliating scenes in all your adventures. Why were you blushing over cookies? "I tried baking some cookies. It's not, it's not much, and they're not all that goo– hey! I'm still speaking!"

The Doctor didn't wait after hearing that you made them. He immediately picked one up to try it. He could tell that the baking powder was just a little bit too much and the mix wasn't done properly in some bits but you were looking at him with a shy smile.

"I thought you deserved a little nice something after the mess our last adventure was," you mumbled, picking up one of the cookies yourself to eat.

"It's good," the Doctor felt a little choked– not on the cookie, but there was a lump in his throat. You rolled your eyes, waving your half eaten cookie at him.

"Liar," you called out, smiling through the action. "I promise the next ones will be better. Or maybe I should try a cake next time. Would you like that?"

The Doctor stiffly nodded, trying to blink away the sting in his eyes. As always, you knew something was off.

"Hey," your voice was soft, concerned. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"No," the word came out before he could stop it. Somehow, neither his brain nor his mouth had a filter when it came to you. "I just… wonder."

You waited for him to speak when he paused, trying hard to put the words together. Speaking his emotions was always so difficult.

"I just wonder," he tried again, "what I did to deserve you."

"It's just cookies, silly," you shook your head, inching closer. The Doctor hoped you would step even closer. A hug would be really, really nice right now. "It's nothing compared to all that you've given me. I have seen so much, gone all across time and space because of you– I could ask you right back what I did to deserve you."

"It's not," he was struggling but he had to let you know. You looked a bit confused, pausing in your actions to look up at him. "It's not nothing. All of time and space is nothing compared to all that you have given me. That understanding, that comfort, that warmth– I can't find it anywhere else in that time and space you speak of."

"Doctor…"

"Do you remember that time I said you were not special?" He asked quietly, taking a step closer. It was the first time he had done it; usually, you were the one who had to cross the space between the two of you. You opened your mouth, probably to say that it was all bygones, but he rushed ahead with, "I lied. I have wanted to tell you ever since then, that I am just a coward, and a liar. Saying that you're not special… that was just me trying to tell myself that I can't let you be special to me. Because the moment I let that happen, that's the moment I–"

He broke off, frustrated at how the words just weren't coming out the way they were supposed to. What was he supposed to say anyway? It's not like he could tell you his feelings. There was no way you would take it kindly. Not after knowing about Rose, not when you had only ever looked at him with respect and admiration.

"Doctor," your voice was quiet but you were so close and the hum of the TARDIS had quietened so much that he could hear you clearly. "Don't."

Was it possible for both his hearts to sink? He stared at you, tears welling up in your eyes as you gave him a painful smile.

"Don't do this," you added shakily, your arms coming up to hold yourself. Beside you, the cookie tin lay forgotten on the console. "Don't… give me hope, only to take it away. I have been strong, but I'm not strong enough for this."

"What–?" He didn't understand. You closed your eyes and took a step back, a step away from him. Something inside him fractured.

"I have loved you in silence, Doctor," you said quietly, "and I thought I did it well enough for you not to realise. But I must not have done a good enough job hiding it– you know how it is. I'm not, I'm not asking you to return my feelings. I don't expect or even hope you to. All I ask is that you forget it. Forget you know it and let me go on one more adventure with you. One last, if you can no longer bear to see my face after this. Just one–"

"Why one?" He stepped closer, covering the distance you had backed up. "Why not all of them?"

You seemed to have lost your breath as you stared at him. "Y- You mean it? I can stay? You will forget this happened?"

"No," he shook his head, hands reaching out to touch your elbows. With his eyes, he asked you for permission. You would be mad to deny it, when that's all you've wanted for so long now. "I can't forget it even if I tried to. I told you, you are something that I can't find anywhere else in all of time and space. And if you choose me, then I'm selfish enough to not let you go."

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