#But doesn't genuinely care & does all that for show
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Uh yeah, what this guy said.
But genuinely, I've been affected by all those catchall posts. While I didn't fall into right-wing BS, it's definitely understandable why some guys do. (Does not mean I agree)
The posts made me feel bad just for existing and that it's just how I'm always going to be perceived. Which honestly, I probably will for a long time, change takes a while. I do think that by everyone just be more careful with their words as to not making over-generalizations we can try and reverse this stigma.
There will always be bad people (men and women alike) and while statistics show a higher amount of men abusers (just an example), it doesn't mean all of them are. Best thing we can do now is just try and teach young men and boys common respect and kindness for everyone, and to stop over-generalizations. Like the person above said, be specific!
This applies to a lot more too, like differing views on religion and politics. Just because people someone believes in x religion, does not mean they're going to act a certain way. They have a choice in how they act, and so do we. There's nothing to gain from putting others down with over-generalizations.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
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sorry, yapping quickly. I saw a post earlier analysing how vi doesn't stand up for the zaunites to caitlyn, and contrasting that to jinx (and ekko), and viewing vi as a sort of pick me (not the language used but I can't find the original rn), and like. yes, I think the argument is correct, but there is like one thing I want to add, which is that vi, unlike jinx and ekko, isn't really in a position where she can criticise caitlyn right? ok hear me out. so one) imo a lot of s1 establishes vi as someone genuinely desperate for connection - its the thought to getting back to powder that gets her through prison (where she has been pretty isolated), her and caitlyn click incredibly fast etc, and all of s1 into s2 happen pretty damn fast right? vi gets out of prison, gains a friend, regains a sister and then instantly loses her again, and then that loss of powder is really underscored in the finale - vi has very few relationships left, and most of the ones she has had have ended in horrible tragedy and violence; it is no wonder that she especially would try to cling to the one (cait) she has left and two) vi is also someone who is constantly in the big sister/protector role - her intro shows this, her leadership of their little gang as kids, and after the time skip (after she fails) you can see her try to assert her dominance over caitlyn in s1 - vi is the one who knows the lanes, caitlyn has to keep up, vi throws caitlyn out of her comfort zone in the brothel etc., vi is trying to demonstrate that she has worth to caitlyn right? and of course when maddie is talking to vi, it's caitlyn expressing respect for vi's actions that vi seizes onto. I don't think this is (just) a way of showing off to caitlyn, rich girl from piltover, I think this is part of vi's understanding of herself as a figure of authority and protection in her relationships put them together and you have someone who, when confronted with an angry and grieving caitlyn, her last real connection (not counting ekko) makes compromises to avoid a confrontation with her. vi doesn't counter 'what kind of animals' directly, because that risks her relationship with caitlyn; she is pretty consistently someone who cares more about personal relationships than the grand scheme of things (as does powder/jinx but that's a different post). and yet, with that in mind, vi does try to defend zaunites! first, she tries to humanise them right; instead of being wild uncontrollable beasts, vi positions them as making a calculated attack - they wanted the spectacle, they're trying to scare you, and then after caitlyn doubles down on her anger towards them, vi pushes for caitlyn to call off the invasion. those aren't the actions of someone who doesn't care about zaunites, or would rather side with piltover imo, they're the actions of someone who does care about zaun, but who doesn't want to jeopardise her relationship with caitlyn. vi joining the enforcers is not only her staying with caitlyn, but also her trying to prevent the invasion. if I go after your sister alone, one of us comes back in a box = caitlyn won't go alone. the strike force then, can be read as a deliberate compromise between caitlyn, who has all the power here, and vi, who doesn't want zaun to be invaded by the enforcers
this is, of course, just a way you can read all this lol, if you disagree/want to add on please do so! I am a bit busy rn but I cannot express how much I want to talk about arcane with people
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Can you please rant about your favorite Prowl imagines?
I have so many. Prowl is a perfect box of delicious imagines. (Mild nsfw)
His personality, for starters, is really interesting if he ever had a person he liked. There's two ways I'd like to think how prowl would react.
Realistically, he'll consider you to be a weakness and does what he always does best when it comes to weaknesses — he avoids it. It's tempting to imagine he'll act cold to you, give you the cold shoulder and douse you with his icy-cold glare. You'll never know why he acts that way and he'll make sure you never find out. (His pride and misery depends on it. )
But, and this sound crazy, can you imagine a prowl not being cold but instead accepting of his feelings? Like, the moment he starts noticing and realizing why he acts the way he does around you (Door wings more expressive, face plate pinched in a way he's more focused, and the biggest giveaway : his sparkrate picks up.)
Obviously, avoiding you is going to distract him. Even worse, meddle with his work. So, his TACNET proposed he might as well get on with it and confess.
He did spare some mind not bring it out too bluntly, guiding you to the garden then holding your hand. The way he said it made it sound like Cybertron will verge on destruction if he didn't confess (if you also didn't accept) and if it were any other person he'd understand if they slapped the engex out of him and walk away. Nothing good comes out a coerced relationship.
Which is why he was genuinely surprised when you accepted. His TACNET temporarily sputtered, crunching on same words over and over again. "Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes—"
He was like that. For the entire day.
With the confession out of the way, I'd like to think, aside from lumbering through base with his 'Work Personality' turned on, he's unusually gentle with you. He's still prowl. Sassy prowl. Grouchy prowl. Straight to the point Prowl. Table flipping prowl. But he's a lot less that when he's with you. (Can you tell I love grouchy characters with soft spots) . You saw all the times he's calm. All the times he's gentle and all the times he's loving.
Like Earthspark prowl, I want him touchy. I want him handsy. Ratchet notices Prowl actually gets off work on time these past few months. Prowl is quick to stride into your little house and pick you up by the arm does, emulating the way you do with your car, and nuzzles you. He loves the soft touch of your palms on his back, especially the sensitive spot between his door wings. Whenever you press down, his wings flutter and flatten, engine revving into a purr.
He likes the touch of anything soft. That includes your body, your bed that smells like you, and pillows. But the thing is, he's too big for your bed so anytime he comes and stays over, you both retreat to the living room where the entire space is a mattress comprised of all the pillows you hogged from every corner of your house. Prowl liked to press his face into your belly and chess and recharge.
He's got an exceptionally brilliant sense of smell. Which is why you never won at bide and seek. In all of the hiding spaces you used, prowl simply snatched you out like a wet rag with a twist to his lips.
Prowl doesn't care if he has to show affection in public. He'll only do it when he wants to and doesn't care of what people think. Of course, there's a time and place too, he's not that indecent freaky.
I can't help but envision him to be perfect husband material XD
He's straightforward. He might hide some things from you, either becuase it's a safety concern or something else entirely. But hey, you have to trust him on this. The only thing you have to know is that there's a special place in his spark that has you in it.
He learnt how to cook human food, and is incredibly precise with it. He thinks too much or too little of the said ingredient might poison you, while simultaneously using a decade old energon mix to whip up his meal. And, possibly, get sick from it. But his favorite past time is scouring through the Earth Internet and trying to bake sweets. He might even try to make you Organic-friendly Cybertronian food with how insistent you are sometimes.
And when you're all but being cute with him, sometimes he have limits and he'll pinch your chin and tip your head up into a kiss.
It's always fun when he's horny. Mostly becuase he's just awkward about. Like he doesn't know what to tell you how to deal with this raging boner he has .... sit on it, please?
Prowl doesn't want to mess up this relationship like he always did with the many ones he could've had something more. He's tired of fighting against himself. For once he realized he could have something different. Maybe, live a normal life. Have actual people who care about him.
At some point he notices the subtle nuances in his behavior ever since he accepted his feelings. He thinks he might relapse and shrink into his shell again. But with your head on his lap, playing your phone as he reads his report — sometimes things aren't meant for change.
#why isnt he reaaaal#transformers#maccadam#transformers x reader#ikkoasks#transformers idw#idw prowl#prowl x reader#prowl#valveplug
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Parasocial Oscar and Landoscar analysis ahead u have been warned.
Contextually, 2020 Oscar was finally pushing open the door to the world of F1 as a potential driver (Mark Webber management, Renault Sport Academy, Eurocup Championship, etc.) and that fact combined with still being a schoolboy, surrounded by mates who actively followed his career and were his personal hypemen definitely made Oscar a bit of a hotshot to gossip about. Sure, he's kinda a nerd who games and races but also he's got great grades and a pretty girlfriend and he's coworkers with max fewtrell, best friend of emerging F1 heartthrob, lando norris, so really the cards were lining up in his favor. And yet none of that success (both socially, as it appeared to his peers, and personally, career-wise) went to Oscars head. Rather, he oozed this dorky endearing confidence that planted the seed of cool self-certainty that'd follow him into his F1 career. I mean from the very start, we can witness how Oscar took everything in stride, building a strong sense of self over easily inflating his ego.
This got kinda long so the rest goes under the cut for organizing sake!
Then, observing his Prema years, Oscar was newly thrust into a whole new team vibe. And in response, he outwardly tried time and time again to be a team player with the hazing/embarrassing bits (insert multiple clips of him dancing and singing despite initial hesitation, easily accepting very personal race vlogging into his daily regime, making hundreds of silly gifs for every occasion (heavily encourage everyone to take a look bc there's genuinely so many))
NGL watching Prema vids was what initially helped me understand Oscar better/made me like him bc we get the most clear display of his lack of ego. There seemed to be a general understanding coming out of this content: the media took an exorbitant amount of energy and wasn't at all conducive to developing his racecraft. buuuuuut regardless Oscar maintained an attitude of these people are my closest thing to family out here, they care about my wellbeing and my success and god damn it if they wanna take photos in matching Christmas PJs then hand over the damn PJs. And that was all of course bolstered by his growing success and notoriety on twitter. Just as he'd established a strong sense of self from the very start, now his public identity took it's shape in a way that felt honest and lifelike <Insert Clip of Angelina pointing out his messy clothes and Piastri Shrug>. He managed to carve out a niche amongst the Prema cast and it's not that he needed to be funny but if people memed him and laughed then hey if it gets me popularity I'm all for it.
Honestly when people dog on Oscar, saying he's got no personality it makes me crazy because it's the total opposite! I think the charm in observing his growth from Renault Academy to Prema to F1 is catching how quickly he established an unchanging confidence in not only his racecraft and wheel knowledge but also in his personality- and how that personality shines through in subtle ways. When Lando does his negging, everyone just heard Oscar sing for the first time in McLaren, am I a funny teammate, Oscar takes it in stride. He doesn't blush, nor take insult, because he has no complex - he's confident about who he is, even if people don't find it amusing. Oscar knows he's not too shy to burst into song, it's just that there isn't anyone who needs him to, so why should he? He knows Lando doesn't think he's funny, but it's not like he was trying to be anyways, so what's it matter? On the flip side too, the rare times we get an outward expression of his confidence are GEMS. The Pool Promo, where he *unprompted* shows off with a trickshot and wins, THIS VIDEO where he eggs on Lando to call lies on his confidence, calling out Carlos/Lance when they interfere with his driving, does it please you greatly that you've won before Lando, is max the best driver on the grid, the whole cricket video, etc etc.
(LOL because I write about fashion outside of this blog and someone might appreciate the connection, in my brain I kinda liken Lando and Oscar's respective confidence to loud/quiet luxury. Lando's a OOAK Hot Pink Birkin and Oscar is a Helmut Lang black slack lolol) (Not a diss btw both items have social connotations/importance that we could unpack for hours but I digress)
I digress I digress I digress. Going back to the Prema assigned humiliation rituals. In a way I think Oscar's ethos regarding embarrassment/lack of ego heavily simplifies down to this story. His mom goes on to explain how after winning an award she gave him a big kiss in front of the whole school and, contrary to how most kids would be embarrassed or angry at the sudden loud affection, Oscar just brushed it off like no matter! "He's just resigned to it" <- literally the most OP81 psychoanalysis of all time thank you Nicole Piastri. For Oscar, the implied embarrassment he should be feeling does not register, as he simply receives love without any grievances, and hasn't the mind to worry how everyone else perceives this exchange. I swear I have a point pls stick with me. So, reiterating, this is the Prema treatment, sitting in front of the camera, Oscar resigns to producing content that's at least moderately enthusing because at the end of the day, the love for his team and the people he's working with is what's worth sacrificing mystery or "cool-ness" for. And even that's a bit of a misstep because I don't think he views it as a sacrifice so much as 'being perceived' doesn't fall on his radar of important things at all. Which! is what makes Oscar SO effortlessly nonchalant in an objectively cool way! (like this is where the more surface-level likening to Kimi Raikkonen <certified Ice Man> comes from) (The real Oscar freaks know he's not any cooler than his indifference and he's actually an incredibly endearingly awkward guy. He just doesn't take himself too serious, idk you get it.)
Now continuing down this timeline, F1 Oscar, who's got exponentially more eyes on him and a humongous team of people who's names he is still learning- comparatively, who is the one guy he can definitely remember the name of. In this transfer of teams and people, all this “I love you even if its kinda objectively embarrassing for me” energy Has to go somewhere and where else would it go than the one guy who’s name he can remember; the one guy in the same exact position as him; the one guy who he’s followed and idolized since 14! YEAH YEAH. And now Lando himself is hardly an extrovert like Oscar’s old prema friends/coworkers, so instead of yes I'll do a stupid dance so you can have good content and make your job easier Oscar -Acts of Service- Piastri has kinda got the most easy job in the world of loving Lando —I just want to make eye contact and know you hate/love this as much as I do— Norris. Like they genuinely match each others freaks in the sweetest introverted mutually beneficial way.
When you really dissect Oscar's Prema content, he’s equally expressive to everyone! He stares holes in the heads of Fred/Logan, doubles over laughing at Arthur/Robert, blushes over Angelina's teasing; it's a sanction of his care and attention divulged to each person in his sphere, one slice of the Oscar cake. Now take Lando? He's been treated to the whole Oscar Cake with a side of ice cream and a cherry on top. Like imagine if you had 10 glasses of water and you poured all of that water into one glass. Suddenly it’s overflowing and there’s water all over the table and the mess is apparent to everyone and the waiter is bringing over towels and someone's grandma just fucking slipped in the puddle and there's a baby crying and- right? right. Oscar’s love language that was distributed across an entire team of people now has nowhere to go but Lando. And not only is it love in respect to the game, it's I've known you years before you knew me, I fell asleep to your voice, watched you grow into the man you are today type love. Oscar is folded at the waist drowning Lando, staring at him with the force of 10x one man's ration of love and we are all god's honest witnesses! Yea no wonder he want that cookie so effing bad tf!!!!!
And it’s such a compelling dynamic because Oscar has been ready to transfer that quiet affection since the very beginning (had old pics of Lando on his phone up through his first year of F1 rightttt right) and since the start of it all, we just get front row seats to Lando reacting to this unconditional respect/love. WHICH IS EVEN GREATER FOR THE FREAKS AND THE WEIRDOS BC LANDO IS SUCH A WEIRDO AND HIS COMPLEXES TOWARDS OSCAR ARE SO COMPLICATED. Basically like. idk. I love when they beef bc Oscar is like I love u I love u I love u and landos like idgaf I’m cheating on u actually no I’m sorry come here I will give u silly nicknames reserved for only me to call u, but actually fuck u and ur talent I’m not spraying u w champange but also oh my god I’m a mess come be freaky w me about it,,,,, the put Lando Norris in a scenario versus his own mind agenda is great. (Bringing back the og tag to just say not ln4 hate, i just like to observe him like a bug in a jar and shake the jar hard bc he is a millionaire and my silly wabbit who I experiment on) anyways. Yea. Lando is complex. Oscar is cool bc he doesn’t care if he is cool and yet simultaneously he's so uncool bc having a crush on a guy for 8 years before being his mclaren arranged failhusband has never been easier nor sexier. OKAY. NO MORE. for now.
#woke up with even more to say this is too long I'm so sorry#did someone say parasocial?#ln4 meta#op81 meta#814 meta#landoscar#lando norris#oscar piastri
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HOW THE HOUSEWARDENS ACT W/ A BABY (not their own, they're all still underage)
RIDDLE:
-man this guy is so bad with babies, but damn it if he isn't efficient
-he'll make sure that the physical needs are taken care of, but that's not entirely what a baby needs.
-but a baby can't tell you what exactly it needs so it'll just be stressful for both of them until he figures it out
-it might be a while
-doesn't do super well with physical affection (giving)
-he probably won't burn down the house to make a bottle for the baby but he will stress about the temperature and it'll go cold before he's satisfied and it'll repeat the process ad infinitum
LEONA:
-pls the baby he knew was cheka, and he was easy he's got this (NOT)
-lion man just wants to sleep and does not appreciate being woken up for feedings or changings or anything else
-doesn't care about bottle temp, milk is milk
-won't show but is a little stressed about having claws vs incredibly fragile baby skin
-genuinely confused to as why not all babies are not like Cheka
-after a while he'll get down the baby language and be so fast at it, just to maximize his sleep
-hey if it works it works
AZUL:
-another one not really fit for children
-would try to foist off the child to the leeches, and then realize that unfortunately he is the much better option (because morays eat their young)
-he will do his best tho and he will do an almost perfect job
-he just...overestimates human baby milestones
-it's ok, it can go one of two ways. either the parent is delighted by fast progress or Azul feels embarrassed
-like riddle, doesn't super love the whole physical contact thing
-also secretly i'd think he'd be great to talk to for anything involved in being recognized outside of your children or a body dysmorphia kind of depression cause same
KALIM:
-mans has 40 siblings or something
-i trust him, but he can be a little...cloud heavy
-he will make sure that baby is cuddled, and fed, and played, but sleeping is not his thing. adorable, but babies are AWAKE around him
-plus he's had servants that take care of the gross parts so he's clueless about how messy babies usually are
-jamil would lose his mind having two people to take care of, one infinitely more dependent than the other
-as much as i love him, don't give him a baby
VIL:
-he wouldn't try very hard
-babies are hard and he's not planning to babysit very long, he has more important things to do, but in the meantime
-this baby will be TAKEN CARE OF
-he bought a lot of...well...everything and all the excess goes to the parents.
-the cutest outfits you've ever seen
-detests changing and other gross parts but will do it
-does not like the not sleeping part, but he will admit they are very cute
IDIA:
-you're playing with fire here
-the only baby he's ever been around was Ortho, and that...ended terribly
-panicking every single second, and rapidly googling every time the baby breathes a little weird
-builds an automated bottle warmer and baby rockers so he has minimal contact with the baby as possible
-until Ortho says that skin to skin or physical contact is best for optimal health
-he'll whine and cry but do it, for a super short amount of time
-made an automatic changing station so he never does the gross parts
MALLEUS:
-adores children. they do not adore him.
-he can scare them a bit being all dark colors and rbf
-but he does theoretically know how to take care of a human baby
-i don't think silver should count since he's more of a changling
-will not put the baby down unless absolutely necessary (my kind of guy)
-the baby lives in a singular too big shirt or the most regal ensemble you've ever seen. no in between
-doesn't bother with changing since he can just magic it away
-also buys everything for the baby and keeps half for when he hopes to be asked to babysit again
#twisted wonderland#disney twst#riddle rosehearts#leona kingscholar#azul ashengrotto#kalim al asim#vil schoenheit#idia shroud#malleus draconia#twst#twst prompt#inspired by my baby cousin giving me baby fever#he's so darn cute and my family literally#never puts him down or gets him dressed in a full onesie cause he's always snuggled up to someone#always#i cannot stress this enough#it's a fight for him at my house and i'm so jeolous i don't get to hold him everyday#weird superpower i have#i can sniff out a baby even if i can't see it on the other side of a room#idk there's just like a smell#and i'm good at discerning their sounds#it's like i can zero in like a radar
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Okay here we go
Does Stanfraud's eye still bleeds, like when Bill was possessing Ford or doesn't because of his bigger connection to Ford's body?
Is Stanfraud an uncle/big brother figure to Soos, like Stanley is his dad figure? Does Bill even care about him even a little😢
I know that the main focus of this au is on Bill, but since Stanley didn't try to pretend to be Ford, how did Stanley's and Filbrick's first meeting went after the whole "getting kicked out" thing"? Especially since both Stan and Ford were definitely broke at the time
You mentioned that Bill still has access to a little portion of his powers, what are they exactly?
Anyway your au is genuinely awesome and seeing it on my dash is always a huge treat 💛💛💛
Okay the first question I really want to answer because I’ve been thinking about this:
— His eye definitely bleeds on occasion. Even though he is far more connected to Ford’s body here, he’s still a demon possessing a host. He shouldn’t be there. There’s some outer force keeping him trapped. So I have thought about the fact there would probably be some lasting impacts on the body due to possession exposure for so long, such as the eye bleeding becoming a regular problem and gradual loss of vision in that eye. There may also be other physical impacts, but I’ll work on those when I manage to get down an official design for him.
— Great News! He is like Soos’ weird uncle! That may be where he learned to be somewhat decent around kids, honestly. He absolutely tried to mess with him at first, make jabs, tell him the date of his death, attempt to drive him to madness just a little (this is why Stan had to get rid of the last handyman), but Soos proved to be incorruptible and took all of Stanfraud’s weirdness in stride. Bill does end up caring about him. He goes as far as to liking their conversations. Soos keeps up with his chaos! Even Bill isn’t sure what’s going on in that head of his (when he gets his own body back he’s going to find out).
— Though Bill is the main focus of the plot-change, the other aspects are equally as important and so I’m glad they also have people’s interest! Their first meeting is… tense, to say the least. If Filbrick has any regrets, which I think I’ll leave up to interpretation, he’s far too stubborn a man to show them, and would rather dig himself further into a hole than admit he made a mistake. Stan desperately just wants to ignore all the scathing comments and get this little reunion over with, until Filbrick makes a comment about Ford, then Stan snaps. You can insult him, he probably deserves it, but not his brother. Sure, they may not be his brother right now, but the intent is there, and that’s what counts.
It cuts everything short, with Stan grabbing Fraud and telling him they’re leaving (He doesn’t complain).
With Filbrick, I do kind of want to explore their dynamic over the years while he’s still alive, especially with Stan, but also with how he’d treat ‘Ford’ and his odder behaviour. I don’t want to just make Filbrick a one-dimensional character though, as I think there’s a lot to be said about the cycle of abuse and parental projection so. While the AU may be based around the question ‘what if Bill got stuck possessing Ford?’ The answers it has lead me down a lot of different paths to explore — such as this!
— The powers he has access too lessen over time, but currently he is somewhat capable of seeing potential future outcomes (ciphervoyance), pyrokinesis, telekinesis, faster healing factor and teleportation. Note that all of these are in a much weaker state and drain Ford’s body and by extension Bill heavily — especially teleportation. Doing that once can cause him to pass out, so it’s more of an emergency thing, most his abilities are honestly. Too much focus is required.
And I’m so happy to be a little treat on your dash!! I hope you enjoy all this just as much!
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Rambling thoughts on Cait's storyline
I thought about doing like an exhaustive analysis of Cait's story in s2Act1 with like pictures and stuff as example. But then I got lazy. I will try to focus on some short notes.
1.) I don't get the vibe that Cait is being manipulative when she pulls away from Vi's touch. I think she's genuinely torn. I can't quite decide whether she's fighting her rising anti-Zaunite rage or on some level realizes what a mess she is and that going for it with Vi right now would be a bad idea. But I don't think she is angling for anything like that, imo she's just struggling with her own emotions. Sidenote: I think it's worth nothing how it mirrors the face touching that Jayce does to Mel.
2.) However, I totally get manipulative vibes from the whole "Cait sang Vi's praises to the enforcers and then her future team member just shows up at Vi's to tell her this". Like either Cait was setting up Vi to join the force (by giving a speech to the enforcers and threatening them with withdrawing funding) without actually asking Vi and/or she sent the enforcer girl to find Vi and tell her that. I dunno, there's just something odd about Caitlyn's multi-cultural task force just coming together like that.
3.) I complained in regards to Jayce's storyline that he is in multiple storylines that don't feel quite connected. And how he moves from one story to the next makes it seem like he doesn't actually care all that much. If I think about it, Caitlyn and Vi are strictly speaking in multiple stories as well (ie apprehending Jinx, Hextech, Ambessa's schemes). But they are getting the royal treatment. It doesn't feel like they are in distinct storythreads because the show connects them. These stories when they are in them still feel like they are fundamentally about Vi and Cait. Because of that it doesn't feel like they are in multiple stories, it's one big ball of story mud of Caitlyn and Vi. Jinx comments on Vi being sweet on Caitlyn. Mel tells Jayce to check on Caitlyn which gives her a chance to talk about Vi, Ambessa's schemes in regards to Caitlyn are meaningful also in part because they might affect how Vi feels about Cait and how likely they are to reunite.
Notice how when Heimer introduces Ekko and Jayce to each other, he doesn't ask what happened to Viktor? Even though that would make sense for his character and would give Jayce a way to voice his theory on why Viktor left and where he is now?
But it never comes up. Because Jayce, Viktor etc are firmly a B story and a result their fates and feelings don't matter to the other characters as much (and in turn means that the characters themselves feel like they don't care as much, while you can't get very far without having it pointed out to you that Vi matters to Cait and vice versa).
4.) I think the scene between Cait and Vi at the pond is intensely interesting. Because Cait says there's three faces she keeps seeing. her mom, Jinx and Vi. Her mom and Jinx are illustrated with a visual, but Vi isn't.
We don't get shown what Vi looks like in Cait's mind. Maybe we can infer that it's like in the beginning, where her world is in black and white and only Vi is in color.
But why not show us? In her visions of her, is Vi smiling? Being a steady rock? Looking at her with concern?
When she talks about her visions of Cassandra and Jinx, she speaks in detail how those make her feel. But with Vi she doesn't. We just have the tone of her voice to infer, but she does not say.
5.) I think it's very telling why Cait wants Vi to come along. Like there are clear tactical advantages to having a Zaunite guide while fighting in Zaun. Vi points this out and as Sevika points out when talking to the barons. But imo Cait asks Vi to come because she feels herself slipping.
She wants Vi to hold her back. Which from a relationship point of view, is kind of shitty, to pick somebody else and try to make them responsible for you not going evil.
(an interesting wrinkle is that when Caitlyn asks why she is indicating that she is scared if she goes after Jinx "one of them will end up in a box", indicating she doesn't want to kill Jinx, but Vi comes to quickly assure Caitlyn that she would be okay with Cait taking the shot on Jinx)
6.) Imo it's interesting that before they kiss Vi essentially tells Cait that she feels like she has nobody left.
And in the beginning it's like Cait also feels like Vi is the only thing that she has left, the only thing that is real.
When even her father is grey and doesn't feel real to her. Except it's not true. Even if Vi is important to her, Caitlyn has people. She has like three different people other than Vi try to reach out and give her comfort.
And that is on top of just via her position in society she has this whole apparatus behind and under her, the enforcers, the council. While Vi has dead siblings, dead parents, dead foster father (to her knowledge), no status within Zaun's society/nobody who cares what decisions she will make, a sister she considers dead and had a falling out with, no friends it seems left back in Zaun (either she never had any of her absence was too long) and for whatever reason she doesn't consider Ekko to be meaningful (maybe their relationship was just to casual, maybe she thinks he will judge her for working with the enforcers, maybe she is too self-hate-y to think she belongs there).
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Aventio headcannons :
• Aventurine is an sparking water guy! He likes the ones with strong flavor not the lightly flavored ones.
• Dr. Ratio is NOT a coffee guy but instead has a home made smoothie/protein shake like concoction which is not only tasty but absurdly healthy!
• Both Ratio and Aventurine do frequent cardio workouts. Ratio does it more out of want to keep his body as healthy as possible, Aventurine on the other hand does it out of a paranoid belief he might need to be fast enough to escape... Something. He doesn't quite know what something is yet but better safe than sorry.
• Aventurine expected to be dumped by ratio the moment after he was no longer "useful" to Ratio. But as there first time came and when and Ratio showed no sign of leaving he had to really wrestle with the fact that someone might actually want him for him.
• Ratio despite being the ultimate atheist, is actually really respectful of Aventurine's non-secular religious beliefs! He brings a level of neutrality and acceptance that is not only new to Aventurine when it comes to his beliefs but also deeply appreciated.
• Ratio makes his own bath bombs with better ingredients that are actually scientifically proven to be beneficial to bathe instead of just smell good... Though they definitely do also smell good and fizzle up!
• Ratio makes his own rose face and body soaps along with body butters and lotions that Aventurine definitely borrows. This is why both of them have such perfect skin for no reason at all!
• Aventurine was a shower guy before dating Ratio, seeing it as a chore and just wanting to get it over with, but now he views baths as an act of self care and enjoys a good soak in some warm water. He always takes a quick rinse in the shower afterwards not wanting to stew in his own filth.
• Ratio on the other hand takes a shower beforehand and then dries off his arms and hands before getting his bath ready so he can safely read his books and cleanly soak in his bath! Of course he keeps his towel nearby in case he accidentally dips a hand in the water on accident.
• Aventurine ordered custom cutesy couple towels as a gag for him and Ratio. Now Ratio gave the obvious "Ugh" reaction Aventurine was hoping for but then Ratio genuinely started using the gift towel exclusively. It got to the point where Ratio would delay taking his bath just to wait for his cutesy towel to get done drying. Aventurine couldn't help but feeling oddly touched by this.
• Aventurine has been ordered custom couple stuff ever since and Ratio has followed the same pattern of using them exclusively as well.
#listen I have several more I could add here but we would be going on forever if I did#If you want to part two let me know If not I'll just let this rot here#aventio#hsr aventurine#hsr dr ratio#hsr#aventurine#dr ratio#veritas ratio#ratiorine
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✨VARIEL✨
Alias: Vera
Species/Origin: Fallen Angel
Gender/Pronouns: Female, She/Her
Sexuality: Lesbian
Appearance:
Personality:
Vera is a soldier, first and foremost. At least, that's how she views herself. She does genuinely love Lithop, but she can't help but see herself as indebted to her in a way. All Vera knows is violence, she's never been more than a weapon, a part of a machine. She is happier no longer being an exorcist, even if she is now stuck in Hell, but is struggling to acclimate to its environment, and her newfound freedom. She has a habit of sticking to a strict schedule, even if its usually unnecessary, out of pure familiarity and comfort. She's very protective of Lithop, deeply admiring her compassion and enthusiasm but fearing that her naivety and stubborness will get her hurt, and she'll lose the only person who has ever cared about her. Vera can come off as very standoffish and doesn't easily get comfortable with others, but is extremely loyal once she does.
Backstory:
Variel was created after Heaven’s shift from guardianship to militant exorcism - her true purpose as a guardian angel trained out of her to be replaced with violence, trained from the beginning to view demons and sinners as irredeemable threats. As one of the younger angels molded exclusively in this hardened role, Variel had a reputation as a skilled and relentless exorcist. She was among the most efficient of her peers despite her young age, partially due to her ability to channel her buried guardian instincts into an intense focus on “protecting” Heaven from Hell’s sinners, even if it’s through destruction.
Variel's guardian origins occasionally stirred beneath her disciplined exterior, though, surfacing in ways that troubled her. She tried to suppress these feelings as "weakness," not wanting to disappoint her superiors or her comrades. Over time, she became skilled at ignoring her guardian instincts, even as they subtly influenced her. She showed mercy by giving swift ends to her targets.
The defining moment came during an extermination one year when Variel encountered a young sinner, a child. She'd never questioned her orders before, but the innocence and fear in the child’s eyes ignited her buried guardian nature, triggering a powerful urge to protect rather than destroy. Despite the risks, Variel defied her mission, taking a protective stance in front of the child. This act of compassion went against everything she’s been trained for, but her instinctual need to shield the helpless overrode her loyalty to her duty.
After her defiance, Variel faced judgment at the hands of her fellow exorcist, Lute. Seeing Vera’s betrayal as intolerable, she decided to mete out “divine punishment” herself. She violently gouged out Variel's eye, and cut her wings off - marking her as fallen and trapping her in Hell. The brutal act was both physically and spiritually devastating for Variel. The pain of her injuries solidified the gravity of her decision, as she was officially exiled from Heaven.
Severely injured, Variel was found by Lithop, who brought her back from the brink. Variel's initial instincts were to distrust Lithop, even as she was too weakened to resist. As Lithop tended to her wounds and protected her from being discovered, Variel's guarded heart began to soften, not used to someone so caring in Hell. Over time, she found herself inexplicably drawn to Lithop’s innocence and fierce belief in redemption, emotions she struggles to reconcile with her hardened worldview.
Knowing she couldn't return to her old life, Variel embraced her fall by shedding her old name, adopting “Vera” as a symbol of her new identity. While the change is largely practical (hiding her status as a fallen angel), it also reflects her internal shift. Vera is no longer tied to Heaven’s mission; she’s forging her own path, albeit skeptically. She agrees to support Lithop’s goal, not out of faith in the plan but because she believes Lithop’s heart is in the right place. Her love for Lithop becomes her new guiding force, though she remains wary of Hell’s dangers and the naivety of Lithop’s vision.
#vera/variel#hgh characters#heaven's gate hotel#hazbin hotel critical#hazbin hotel rewrite#hazbin hotel redesign#anti hazbin hotel#vivziepop critical#anti vivziepop
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Dating Pickles Headcanons
First post being about Pickles,,, who would've guessed!!
I think he's the most boyfriend material out of the whole band,,, not biased at all !
He's not traditionally romantic with dinner and flowers and the likes, but he has his own Pickles' charm. Picture lazy days in bed, watching trash T.V, your head on his chest, his arm around you, and his hand mindlessly running up and down your side. It's tender, it's intimate, and probably a third chick named Mary Jane involved.
He values quality time a lot. He doesn't care what the two of you do as long as it's together. Even though he's a billionaire I think he would enjoy doing the most mundane things. In fact, I'd go as far to say out of all the band members, he has an appreciation for the little things the most. I think walking around an empty park late at night with an arm wrapped around you, doing nothing but talking and feeding the swans, is his idea heaven.
He also feeds on energy, so please match his. He may be the most emotionally mature in the band, but he's still just as much of a jack-ass.
An actual dumbass during the crush stage, somebody please stop him before he hurts himself. He's showing off his drum skills, his alcohol tolerance, literally anything and everything to be seen as cool in your eyes. He'll snap out of it eventually and it's something that embarrasses him when he looks back on it; definitely being teased by the other guys about it.
He's going to want to introduce you to his family. It will be deep in the relationship when he knows he's serious about you, not right off the bat or anything. He still desires approval from his mother and a small part of him still hopes to fix the damage in their relationship, do even though it's probably a super bad idea he's taking you up to Tomahawk. It's a disaster, obviously. He'll be nervous the whole time, and the hope in his eyes will be enough to put you in cardiac arrest if you look too long. Molly will either hate you or try setting you up with Seth, no in between. Pickles will be at your defense during either scenarios. You're both going to leave emotionally exhausted but Pickles will be a wreck especially. Please comfort him and reassure him. Make sure he realizes that nothing about his shirty family will affect the two of you.
Other than quality time I think his strongest love language is words of affirmation. It can be as little as a special pet name that's exclusively for him to high praise. Any words of genuine affection make his insides feel twisted up, in a good way.
I think he would like his partner to be a little possessive. Not anything crazy but like if they suddenly tugged him closer when around others, or put their hand on his waist while at an event, he will be swooning in no time. He likes feeling wanted.
He is the best at comforting. He doesn't even have to try, really. His general presence just instantly puts a person at ease. If you were ever upset though he would stop whatever he was doing and get you somewhere quiet if you weren't already. If you don't want to be touched, he'll respect that, and just be there with you until you're ready or want to talk. If you don't mind, he'll pull you in his lap and just hold you close. He won't say much or make you talk, but he does want to be there, just to make sure you're okay with his own two eyes.
He will mindlessly bring you up in conversation. Doesn't even mean to you're just always on his mind subconsciously. He's a smitten partner, truly.
Overall, Pickles is just a genuine guy who has a few emotional hang-ups involving self-worth, but he's working on it, with you.
#metalocalypse x reader#pickles the drummer#pickles the drummer x reader#pickles the drummer x you#headcanon#metalocalypse#x reader#pickles x reader
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Can you please give your headcanons on the Alicent & Daemon marriage. It'd be NUTS. We know what Daemon does to a wife with brown hair brown eyes no matter how pretty she is 👀
Also how would TargBros™️ turn out in that family in your opinion? (Aemond would be such a daddy's girl lol) Sadly Daemon doesn't interact with his children at all on the show and Baela even said sometimes she hates him. What would Daemon do with a neurodivergent daughter (Helaena)? Would he dismiss her or would he realise she has dragon dreams?
I believe Daemon is snobby about being Valyrian, and he prefers a Valyrian wife. He also simply does not like Rhea as a person. From what little we saw of Rhea, she’s very headstrong. But so are Laena and Rhaenyra, whom Daemon does like.
The difference with Rhea is that she’s brutally upfront about not liking Daemon, and she verbally cuts him where she thinks it hurts. Meanwhile, Laena and Rhaenyra actually like Daemon, and their headstrong qualities are more akin to flirtatious sassiness than Rhea’s blatant dislike. So Daemon has a certain degree of attitude he will accept from his wife/the women in his life, but he won’t tolerate someone who’s just mean to him (which is fair, although he gives as good as he gets).
I also think Rhea being non-Valyrian AND headstrong is even worse in Daemon’s book. He could justify Laena and Rhaenyra with “they’re Valyrian ladies of the noblest birth, they deserve to be prideful.” But Rhea is of First Men blood and proud of it, without any drop of Valyrian blood. I think Daemon would like (or at least tolerate) her more if she were meeker.
That’s all setup to explain why I think Daemon/Alicent’s marriage could actually work. They wouldn’t love each other, but they could have children, share a household, and fulfill various spousal duties without killing each other.
Alicent is of First Men and Andal blood (some readers theorize the Hightowers also have Valyrian blood due to Oldtown possibly being a Valyrian outpost, but I’m going to ignore that theory in this post). That counts against her in Daemon’s book. However, Alicent as a young girl has a very different personality from Rhea (and Laena and Rhaenyra). She’s demure, courteous, and obedient. She is willing to adapt to her husband’s expectations and tastes, as we can see from how Alicent dresses in Targ colors before the Green Dress scene.
She isn’t whom Daemon would choose, but if he had to marry her, I think he would learn to be content with his marriage. He has a wife who listens to him, takes care of household stuff he isn’t interested in, and publicly presents a united front with him/his house. Although she is the daughter of his hated rival, this might eventually become a positive for him, because he can gloat about bedding Otto’s daughter on the regular. 💀
On Alicent’s side, she seems genuinely pleased when Daemon asks for her favor in S1E1. I think she shares many young ladies’ view of Daemon as a dashing (and roguish) knight. That, plus the fact he’s a Targaryen prince, makes him an excellent marriage prospect for her—on paper at least.
In private, Alicent would probably disagree with a lot of Daemon’s actions/decisions. If she tries to talk with him about it, she would have even less success than with Viserys. She may feel like Daemon looks down on her too much, whereas Viserys at least appears to consider her input (sometimes) when she offers it.
The marriage would almost certainly cause friction between Alicent and Rhaenyra, especially if Daemon continues to push boundaries with Rhaenyra. That’s probably the riskiest part about the marriage. Alicent grew up in a society where highborn women ignore their husbands’ dalliances, but it’s hard when the potential dalliance is her best friend/husband’s niece.
In general, it’s a bad idea to count on kids to save a marriage, but I think it would help Daemon/Alicent. Daemon would be thrilled with four kids—three of them sons—who look extremely Valyrian. Alicent in this AU can focus more on her immediate household and children, without also worrying about duties as queen. She also isn’t stressed about Aegon becoming king, because her children being Daemon’s are definitely behind Rhaenyra according to standard Westerosi succession norms. Also, with Daemon as the father, she isn’t worried about Daemon murking them on Rhaenyra’s behalf.
With Westeros being a deeply gendered society, Daemon would be much closer to his sons than with daughters. He’d be more hands-on than Viserys, and he would personally teach them sword-fighting and dragon riding.
Aegon greatly benefits from an attentive father, a less paranoid mother, and less uncertainty over his heir status (or lack thereof). He probably goes on a lot of Flea Bottom trips with Daemon, but Daemon, who wants his sons to reflect well on him, can make sure Aegon doesn’t go too crazy.
Aemond is probably the favorite child. As the second son of a second son, he bonds with Daemon over that. Lots of father-son bonding in the training yard. I could see Daemon telling Aemond he’ll get Dark Sister one day, but he has to earn the sword first.
Daeron probably keeps the same dynamic with Daemon as in the Handbook. Way too chipper for Daemon’s preference, but Daeron is the baby so Daemon puts up with it. Daeron is definitely not being sent to Oldtown.
It’s normal for daughters’ education to be presided over primarily by their mother, so Helaena ends up being the least close to Daemon. I think he does like having one girl, just to break up the boy litter a bit. He probably has a similar relationship with her as with Rhaena. Distant, no idea how to bond, just leaves her with his wife. Maybe throws her a bug-themed present once in a while. I don’t think Daemon would figure out the dragon dreams on his own, because it he doesn’t believe in such things/disdains them.
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Something I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone talk about before is how Invader Zim is one of the funniest goddamn series ever created and it hardly ever relies on snark or sarcasm for its humor.
Like, people talk about the Whedonizing of modern media where everyone is constantly snarking and quipping at each other and undermining their own narratives with bathos and winks to the audience to let them know they’re self-aware about how stupid everything is so we can think they’re cool instead of “corny”.
But IZ never does that. IZ doesn’t care about making its characters look cool. They’re supposed to be losers, so it’s okay for everyone to be unabashedly, passionately self-serious about everything, no matter how stupid. GIR, the character most beloved for generating the most laughs, is never sarcastic at all. He is simply not capable of it. All the jokes surrounding GIR are based on him acting like a hyperactive puppy combined with a hyperactive toddler. Zim and Dib do not "trade barbs", they throw lame schoolyard insults back and forth and taunt each other with threats of a horrible fate. They do not make smug, snide remarks about how stupid everyone else is, they rant and rave about how disgusted they are with everyone's stupidity. Even Gaz, whose main character trait is apathy, doesn't really make sarcastic comments or "quips" often. Most of what she says is just variations on "You're bugging me, go away". And it's not for the sake of being cool. Gaz isn't self-conscious and putting down Dib's dorky interests to distance herself from him, she's just genuinely annoyed. She's not truly detatched and dispassionate. She is constantly teetering on the edge of losing it because she actually does care, a lot. It's just that what she cares about is being left alone with her video games, her pizza, and her dad.
The only character on the show I’d describe as habitually sarcastic is Ms. Bitters, and her apathy isn’t meant to be “cool” either. She’s just punching down at children to demoralize them because she’s a miserable old bitch.
Ironically, IZ came out with FOP, and 80% of Butch Harman's sense of humor is making bad, unfunny puns and then having characters groan and sigh and roll their eyes at how bad the puns were as if that makes it any funnier.
#Invader Zim#low key#nothing takes me out of a fic faster#than characters being too quippy or snarky#because that's just not how they talk#it's like the other end of the horseshoe#from everyone being too self-aware and healthy and using therapy-speak
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Horrible thing to say but I think there's a real chance Jiang Yanli was both of her parents' least favorite child and knew it and just kinda. Had to go on with her life knowing that.
#mdzs#jiang yanli#yunmeng siblings#madam yu's favorite kid is jc. she doesn't. um. SHOW it in a very affirming way but he's clearly the one she's emotionally most invested in#jfm's favorite kid is wwx. is he even one of his kids? doesn't matter. he's the favorite#(madam yu does NOT see wwx as her child so he doesn't factor into the calculation for her.)#i think jfm's neglect of jc is talked about. mostly because the both jc and wwx are clearly aware of it and so it's mentioned in novel#but um... DO we see either of yanli's parents give much a shit about her? ever?#jfm doesn't even ask if she WANTS her engagement dissolved before doing so#also the reason stated by other characters for jfm not liking jc is that he's madam yu's child. you know who is ALSO madam yu's child?#i think jfm may find jc.. harder to get along with. but i also think whatever discomfort from his marriage he projects onto his kids#it also extends to yanli. it's just that he's not constantly REMINDED of yanli like he is jc#(because madam yu keeps yelling about it)#and so he just... doesn't think about her much at all#madam yu meanwhile treats yanli with this air of disappointment. she seems to resent that she's 'weak' and gentle and quiet#and that she cares so little about status so as to treat wwx like her little brother#i think yanli is just fundamenally so clearly... not the child either of her parents wanted. and it shows.#i'm slightly peeved fandom doesn't talk about this as much as they talk about the effects the jiang parents had on the two boys.#but to be fair to fandom the book doesn't either#which is probaly just danmei-typical misogyny. but to give a slightly more watsonian reason#i think the yunmeng bros are genuinely unaware of this. yanli is PERFECT how could her parents not love her?#(of course they notice something like zixuan's initial dislike of her but that's blatant.)#(vs the attitude of the jiang parents towards their daughter which seems to be mostly... disinterest and disappointment)
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it's like. louis attempted to tell this story to daniel the first time, broke down, and attacked him before he could finish it.
and then decades later he's convinced himself that it was leaving the story unresolved that's holding him back from living his life fully now. so he invites daniel back again. and louis is sitting poised and put together, confident in his ability to recite his history in a pretty, poignant, neat little narrative that will resolve all the guilt and yearning and emptiness inside of him. that if he can just tell a compelling, satisfying story, maybe it will actually be that, and not the life he lived through, with all the pitfalls of his own failures lurking inside.
and then season 1 ends with him once again being forced to confront that the story he wants to imagine and the life he actually lived aren't the same thing. the boundaries around his narrative are shredded and he's left exposed, and subsequently able to face his past for the first time since that original interview. and you think, you think, "well this is it. they've crossed the event horizon. there's no use hiding the truth anymore, not after it's come flooding out into the open like this"
and then season 2 opens. not only is it back to the original, practiced distance, we now have armand literally enforcing that distance. a man sitting at the table who's interjections must be disregarded, an intentional interruption to the flow of the story. he doesn't exist to aid or add detail, he exists to distract louis when he gets too deep in the story. the only time we do get louis allowing any deep truth to come out is when armand leaves the room.
it's like. louis wants a story that's true, and the truth is what he's convinced will leave him satisfied. armand wants a story that will satisfy louis, to the extent louis will accept it's true.
#genuinely THE juiciest way to tell this story#like it's SO good#there's this coy little humor behind the ep#where louis and armand are very much like 'haha okay daniel you've caught us out. you've seen behind the curtain. this is the whole truth'#meanwhile daniel's getting '8 hours on how to avoid the sun and torpedoes'#like it's a faux revelation that completely backtracks all of the progress made at the end of season 1#and even louis's (very touching) moment this episode where he tells daniel the truth#is a very digestible and ultimately non-harmful dive into his past#armand doesn't like it because it's part of a slippery slope of remembrance#but he doesn't actively get in the way of it being told because it's a revealed memory that doesn't ULTIMATELY mean that much#like i'm assuming we're all on deck as far as believing louis doesn't remember the full extent of claudia's death atm.#i could be wrong about that. but like. it is kind of the elephant in the room at the moment#so it's very much a case of armand getting to couch his own fears and attachment in 'doing the greater good for louis'#ultimately who does it serve if louis remembers everything and realizes armand's more negative role in his life?#all that will do is make him miserable. deprive him of the one person in his life who cares for him#better to have a palatable lie than a truth that could leave louis a danger to himself#('as long as you walk this earth i won't taste the fire' <- but she doesn't walk this earth and the reason why is sitting by his side)#isn't it the kinder and better thing to manufacture a world where louis can live with himself?#anyways. teehee. i missed this show so much. <3#iwtv
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telling myself i can't start another tdwt rewrite but dear god do i want to write one focusing on alejandro and courtney in this weird situationship thats a lot more nuanced than just alejandro manipulating courtney and her falling for it. like theyre best friends they dont trust each other theyre the same person they dont know anything about the other one theres a mutual attraction theyre pining for other people theyre codependent they dont care about each other theyre platonic soulmates like i just want to do a deep dive into how messy that relationship couldve been building off of their friendship that exists in my head except the line between romantic and platonic is so fucking blurred they have no idea what they are to the other person
#they live rent free in my head as you can tell#ive been writing some intense moments for them in amicus curiae and im having a lot of Feelings about platonic alecourtney#tbh the whole concept of them replacing the best friends has been a great avenue for me to do a deep dive into their friendship#aughhhh i just. love them so much#and i do want to explore them in a situation where there is relationship potential even if that relationship never actually happens#because everything between them during tdwt could be so MESSY!!#like alejandro says he's just manipulating courtney but he's also doing it to make heather jealous but he's also genuinely worried about he#after the duncan thing but this is the only way he knows how to express that concern without making himself look weak#meanwhile courtney is falling for the act but she also knows its an act and is going with it for the emotional support it provides and shes#just doing it to make duncan/gwen jealous but she also is starting to see the real alejandro underneath it all because he does care even#though he doesn't want to and they do feel a strong connection that they dont know whether its platonic or romantic because romance is bein#shoved down their throats on this show and theyre both in complicated romantic dynamics with other people that theyre the easier option for#one another but they dont really want to be with one another like it just doesnt feel right#okay okay i legit have to stop and go to bed but just. them. im thinking so hard about them#platonic alecourtney
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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
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