#But by the end - and because of this scene in particular - she became my favorite character

[smtsmtblablabla]

Things I loved about the third season and things I, personally, would have made different:

Loved:

Penelope and Colin´s romance. They were sweet and honest and just very, very lovely. They were truly able to convey the friends to lovers arc in the best way possible.

The Featheringtons. For me they were the true stars of the season. They were funny but also able to grow, even with so little screen time. I demand more of the Keeping up with the Featheringtons, please.

Portia. Oh my, she was just brilliant this season. Her conversations with Penelope, her grownth, were spectacular. She became one of my favorite characters.

Penelope and Eloise. It felt very... realistic, how they handled the fall and the reconciliation between them. Eloise in particular spent most of the season torn between her love for Pen, her anger and finally her understanding. Making them at peace with each other but still apart in the end was the best decision for me. It feels natural, honest and healthy. They clearly have space in their lifes for one another once more, and now they can get closer again in a more mature way.

The pacing of the secondary plots. The show has a history of creating dozens of secondary plots and fumbling with them most of the time. Now, for me at least, they finally seemed balanced, but that migth just be because I was truly captivated by all of them.

the fact that Pen kept writing. Like, YES! Colin gets to be a published author but so does she! Sick of women having to give up on their dreams because of marriage.

The costumes. I loved how they went full camp this season, sue me.

Things I would have made different.

How they treated Cressida´s story. I was cheering for her at the end, I will admit. As much as I don´t apreciate her coming for my girl Pen, I could see and understand her desperation. I truly wished she could have been sucessful in her plan of running away to vienna. Maybe she could have robbed her father, or was able to recive the money for her Whistledown issue, Idk. But I wish she could have had a happier ending, not as the villain once more. I felt shallow and cheap, after all we have seen from her this season.

I missed Madame Delacroix, wanted more of her and pen together.

It is very obvious that the next season is going to be Benedict´s, with the masquerade ball being mentioned and all, so I would have soft lauched Sophie already. A small scene on the 7th episode, when the ton recives the 2 whistledown issues, of staff people reading and commenting too, and then we see Sophie, maybe in first plan so we know we need to look at her, maybe someone calls her by name. Very unassuming, seemingly random, but the fans would understand.

I think thats all. In large, I loved the season, Penelope has always been my fav character and iit was great to finally see her taking the spotlight!

[puzzled-pegasus]

Bloberta and Clay analysis ramblings

(TW: discussion of child abuse, spousal abuse, alcoholism, and SA)

I just rewatched Help and Passing and think it's time that I talked about our favorite dysfunctional husband and wife from Moral Orel.

Both Bloberta and Clay are really bad people in my opinion, and both sympathetic, but Bloberta is undeniably responsible for the fact that they ended up together when they shouldn't have, and Clay is of course mostly responsible for the way he treated Orel. It's important to note that I do NOT think that Bloberta is responsible for Clay's alchoholism, at least not by encouraging him to drink one single time at a party. He's responsible for his own choice to keep drinking so much every day after despite the person he became when he was drunk.

She did, however, essentially squeeze a not-even-proposal out of him after he made it clear that he wasn't into the idea of marriage, and then was disappointed and frustrated when he looked sad at their wedding. It's possible that she may have had somewhat of an "i can fix him" mentality?

Mostly, though, it's shown in the episode Help that all she wants is to be useful and wanted, and to find a man as quickly as she can to get married to so she doesn't feel left out in her circle of women around her age. She was a middle child at home and constantly pushed aside everywhere else as well. So of course, she's going to snatch up the first young man who so much as engages in pleasant conversation with her. Even if that man is someone who very strongly hints at wanting nothing to do with her romantically.

As we learn in previous episodes of the show, Bloberta also seems desperate for male attention because Clay avoids her, but she probably also was back then; Clay just didn't satisfy her want for attention like she thought he would, because he resented her.

Of course, we don't see into Bloberta's childhood at all, not that Clay's childhood flashback didn't make him look like 100 percent worse as a person, and Clay gets more screentime overall. But with what we do have, Clay gets a few more sympathy points from me, especially from what we learn in Help and during his Nature rant.

As the best, and most well-rounded-out story antagonists do, Clay has a really interesting cocktail of trauma that makes him the intimidating abuser that he is. There are so many points during his screentime where you almost just feel bad for him, or concerned. Especially in the Nature rant.

One thing that's so good about that rant is that the whole scene almost perfectly illustrates the feeling of having a parent dump some of their darkest traumas onto you just because you're forced to listen. The concern on Orel's face, the sorrow, the shock, the disturbance of seeing someone---that he trusted and looked up to, and who he thought had everything figured out, like lots of children believe their parents do----just...fall apart in front of him.

Just the same as Orel does in this scene, the viewer might feel very uncomfortable and somewhat angry at Clay for putting all this onto a child who is dependent on him and who he put into a dangerous situation with his drunken self, but there's also an undeniable sense of sympathy for Clay as he rants about how unhappy he is with his life. A large part of the rant is also about his resentment toward women and Bloberta in particular, and the way he describes their relationship...to me, makes it sound like Bloberta has sexually assaulted him, and I'm surprised I haven't see anyone talk about that.

As additional evidence, consider the exchange in The Best Christmas Ever:

"I don't even remember concieving [Shapey]!"

"Oh please, when do you ever remember?" Now, in a normal argument, this would just be a jab at how Clay is constantly drunk, but this is a conversation about the origins of a child, thus, having sexual intercourse; implying that Clay often doesn't remember when he and Bloberta do it.

"All I do is try to forget." This one really confirms it for me. If Bloberta doing sexual things to Clay is so awful for him that he's constantly self medicating to forget about it---of course, that among other things---then I would classify that as SA.

And then there's the line, "I can't believe I gave you the privilege of satisfying me every night," which may or may not be evidence. He may have phrased it that way to convince himself that he had control over the situations where Bloberta coerced him, or it may be regret of the (very) few times he cooperated willingly. Possibly both.

Who knows. Maybe Clay didn't mind it for a little while after they were married, and didn't see the need anymore after they already had a child because he wasn't sexually attracted to Bloberta in the first place. Maybe he was attracted to her for a short while and he lost the feeling when she was pregnant. Either way, his distress during the Nature rant made it undeniably clear to me that at least a portion of his sexual encounters with Bloberta were instances of marital SA with Blobs as the perpetrator.

I'd like to say again that this observation about Clay does not in anyway attempt to redeem him as a character or say he was "good all along," I just think it's annoying that the rape of Nurse Bendy and Miss Sculptham were such impactful scenes in the fandom and yet I've never seen anyone bring up the possibility that it could have been happening to Clay.

Moving on from that, though, there's another thing I've noticed about the relationship with Clay and Bloberta----the absence of domestic abuse, as least that we have seen. Not that I'm complaining that no one is beating their spouse in this show, but looking at all the other dark topics in Moral Orel, it's just a little interesting that they didn't cover the topic of spousal abuse, even as a joke. Which is to say, it's interesting that despite how much Clay and Bloberta hate each other, they never get into physical fights or push each other around using violence. Well, except for that one time in Help where Blobs punches Clay in the face. But who's to say whether she did that while married.

They also don't get into very many heated fights, to such an extent that Orel still thinks they're somewhat happy at the end of the show. In general, it seems like they're mostly just trying to stay out of each other's way. Maybe they do have some sort of small shred of human respect or base level love for each other. Maybe they don't see the point of being violent toward each other, or maybe they just don't want anyone to see bruises on the other to arouse suspicion that they're not actually perfect and happy and loving. There are ways to cover bruises, though, so I think there's gotta be some other reason. Maybe they're just worried about it being a sin to lay hands on a spouse? Maybe Clay took to heart the fact that his own father never, ever laid hands on his wife, Clay's mother? Maybe it was enough for Clay to take his frustrations out on Orel instead, since he misbehaved so often?

Anyway, this is a long post. These characters are just so interesting and the story is so thought provoking. Send me asks if you want. Or don't. I just like talking about these loser ass puppet people.

[meeblo]

favorite..AND least fav arknights operators?

Favorites gameplay-wise are probably Muelsyse and Jessica the Liberated. Their kits are both very dynamic and fun to use, with a focus on smart positioning I find to be quite engaging, with optimizing the adjacent tiles for Muelsyse's ranged clone to split to or adjacent tiles to use Jessica's shield to allow her to change direction with.

Story-wise, there's too many to really narrow it down, so I'll pick some favorites by storyline. Amiya deserves a mention from the main story, she's a very interesting take on a paragon protagonist with distinct moments of fallibility and an allowance in the narrative for her to be wrong and then change as a result. Kal'tsit and Doctor are both fascinating as well, which is why it's such a shame that Kal'tsit is so maligned for talking too much in the story (she really doesn't) and Doctor is often just boiled down to a self insert (they really aren't). Ch'en wins "most improved" in the main story, I disliked her on her first introduction but really came around as the main story progressed with learning her backstory and scenes such as the end of episode 6/beginning of episode 7 (Dossoles Holiday Ch'en is still lame though). Mudrock is a very interesting figure, especially with how she fits with Big Bob as having chosen to leave Reunion behind and the differing lives they chose to lead afterwards; I'd love if we could get a flashback eventually of Mudrock speaking with Patriot before she left reunion, it would be a fascinating conversation for sure. From the Rhine Lab storyline, Muelsyse and Saria are my two favorites, with Silence earning an honorable mention as well; Muelsyse I wrote an analysis post up about a while ago (pre lone trail but it still mostly holds up). It's hard to boil down why I like Mumu and Saria most of the Rhine Lab storyline in a few sentences, can't think of how to make it succinct. Kroos and Saga are the standouts of the Sui storyline, with Who is Real in particular being the most interesting Sui event in my opinion with the subject matter it covers about morality as related to perception and the nature of value within art. Kroos is possibly my favorite alter in the game with how her files and story in events gives you enough to read between the lines about what changed her to bring her to who she became and what elements of the younger Kroos remain. Goldenglow is a standout lead for one of the best vignette events, it's very interesting structurally with how it nonlinearly shifts PoVs and timeframes by vignette. Texas, Penance, and Lappland all are phenomenal in Il Siracusano, which is in contention for being my favorite event story; it's hard to sum up exactly why other than that Il Siracusano is simply just that good. Jessica in Come Catastrophes or Wakes of Vultures is phenomenal; it's the best event they've released recently (though I was too busy to ready Zwillingsturme so I can't judge there). Exusiai deserves a mention as well; she was my first six star, but she also has a lot of interesting story connections buried beneath the surface despite never truly headlining an event story.

As for least favorites, I don't really have much I outright dislike. I suppose Ch'en alter, if only because it means Ch'en will likely never get a (narratively) good alter now and thus will never be the focus of a story again because that slot was already taken up with a waste of a summer alter. I wish we could have had a main story Ch'en alter instead. In general I hate whenever a limited operator is meta on principle, because the limited operator system is inherently predatory and hostile to people especially those who haven't been playing since year 1, though if I must pick one I'd say Skadi the Corrupting Heart annoys me most because the roles she fills are highly effective and simply cannot be approximated by any other operators. Thank god for the 5th anniversary free character finally alleviating that.

[captain-gillian]

tag game tuesday friday (better late than never?): 911 lone star edition

thank you @tellmegoodbye for creating this tag + tagging me

When did you first start watching Lone Star? Who or what introduced you to the show?

i watched og from when it started airing in australia because it looked interesting in the trailers, and i was hooked straight away. i saw they were making a spin off and thought the premise looked really interesting, so despite my strong dislike for a certain main cast member, i gave it a go. while i haven't been engaging in the fandom the whole time, i've been watching since the first episode, weekly as it's aired in the us because i'm not going to risk spoilers waiting an extra several months to watch it as it airs here

Which season is your favorite?

nothing will ever beat season 3 for me

Who is your favorite character? (Bonus: If you answered TK or Carlos, who is your favorite besides them?)

if it wasn't obvious from the theming of my blog, I am a nancy girl through and through. she has been my favourite since season 1 where paramedic gillian had less than 10 minutes air time and no first name. i am a nancy gillian fan first and a lone star fan second.

Top five episodes. Go!

in no particular order 4x09 road kill 3x13 riddle of the sphynx 3x08 in the unlikely event of an emergency 3x07 red vs blue 2x09 saving grace

If you could pick any character to be given a "begins" episode, who would it be and what would that episode look like?

nancy. she's the character we canonically know the least about, and i am desperate to know more. i'd love an episode where an emergency in the present day takes us through flashbacks showing her journey to the 126, why she became a paramedic, who she is outside of work, her previous relationships, her relationship with her family. whether it be from an emergency they're responding to reminding her of some past event/trauma or her being injured/in peril and reflecting on her life up until that point.

What is a scenario or storyline that you would like to see in season 5?

i'm really interested to see why there's a bts photo with nancy in a capt. gillian name tag on her uniform and explore how nancy being chosen as (i'm assuming temporary/acting) captain and that change in leadership structure affects dynamics in the firehouse, her relationship with tk both personally and professionally, her relationship with mateo and how he handles the change in dynamic in the work place, and all the other dynamics and interpersonal relationship changes within the firehouse as a result of it, and how the dynamics would be affected by pressumably introducing another new paramedic to take her spot while she's filling tommy's. i just think it would be really interesting, and also really interesting to see why tommy isn't the captain, is she stepping down temporarily for family reasons, is she suspended, is she injured, is she being promoted? so many possibilities to explore.

im doing two answers because i'd also really love to see (though 99% sure it wouldn't happen in a short season especially) a holiday episode, there are so many holidays towards the end of the year, not just Christmas and an episode featuring the different ways that different members of the 126 celebrate their respective holidays and each other's holidays could be a really lovely episode, especially with some of the cheesier christmas emergencies we've seen covered on og sprinkled into that, as holidays are always going to be a busy time for first responders.

What do you think is going on in this still?

given tk's posture, i think it's a call that they were apprehensively expecting/waiting on, maybe for news about an ongoing investigation (either into gabriel's death or something that won't be introduced until the new season)

We all know about the elusive 5x05 spicy scene that has been teased, so what is your prediction for how it could possibly top 1x02?

look, i'm gonna be honest, as a lesbian its not something i've thought about at all, so i don't have a prediction, but i'm happy for all of y'all who wanted this that you'll be getting it

Where was the Tarlos honeymoon in your mind?

probably somewhere local/within texas, it's not anywhere specific in my mind because my knowledge of united states geography is minimal, but i feel like even if they'd had plans to travel further they would have changed to stay closer to home given the circumstances leading up to the wedding.

Shoutout one of your favorite fan creations.

i'm shouting out more than one, you can't stop me firstly, i always knew you'd find your way by @fallout-mars which is a masterpiece of writing and a really great outsider (nancy) pov of tarlos' relationship, love love love love this fic next, soulmates aren't just lovers by @nancys-braids this is such a beautiful (canon divergent) look at nancy and carlos' pasts and their friendship, i do not have enough words to convey just how much i adore this fic and how it's written and finally, the ring in by @welcometololaland which is one of the first tarlos fics i ever read, back in 2022 before i had a ls tumblr, it's such a fun read, cannot reccomend it more highly, i absolutely adore this fic.

an open tag because i'm so late, if you see this and you wanna do it, consider this me tagging you <3

[1moreff-creator]

Happy Birthday Charles Cuevas!

I haven’t talked much about this guy in my short time on Tumblr, but I’ve always loved this dork. Clearly academically gifted, but still a bumbling idiot at heart. He’s always a joy to have on screen!

Anyways, as usual, I’ll make a half hearted analysis on his character, alongside dumping in a bunch of fun facts from any sources I can find (mostly QnAs and the series itself), then mention a few songs that remind me of him!

-Charles originally held a very elitist attitude towards everyone else’s talents, arrogantly dismissing any he didn’t consider useful. 

-However, he’s quickly humbled by quite a few things. He had evidently lived a relatively sheltered life prior to the killing game, as he didn’t know how to perform basic tasks like using a washing machine or cooking, and Whit always poked fun at him for that and other reasons.

-But in particular, it was his debilitating fear of blood, hemophobia, which ended up fully humbling him. After seeing Teruko’s body post Xander-stab, he became unable to speak until after the end of the first trial. 

-In fact, Charles is the only person (aside from Xander for obvious reasons) who didn’t participate in the CH 1 Scrum Debate. He doesn’t even show up in the animation. Also, his sprite has him with his back to the group for the vast majority of the trial.

-After everyone saw him like that, Charles felt they started pitying him, which he absolutely loathed. He’s claimed he likes hanging out with Teruko specifically because she didn’t start treating him any differently after that fiasco.

-And of course, he also started enjoying Whit’s company. The matchmaker helped him during the trial, and then they became close friends. 

-This is despite the fact that Charles got very annoyed by and even genuinely angry at Whit making fun of him in the laundry room scene, as we see in their FTE.

-Veronika believes Charles’ hemophobia comes from repressed childhood memories, which seems likely given his secret: “Your older brother died, but you don’t remember him at all.” Hearing about it for the first time shocked Charles quite badly, but he later composed himself and overall handled his secret well. 

-His older brother’s name was Elliot (nickname Ellie), as revealed in the most recent QnA. He was 11-13 years older than Charles, and apparently looked very similar to how Chares looks now. All we know about Elliot otherwise is that his favorite food is pancakes and his favorite animals are dogs.

-In the same QnA, it was revealed the scar on Charles’ right arm is from a dog bite, but Charles thinks it’s a birthmark; he doesn’t remember getting it. This suggests this is related to his brother’s death, which when combined with the fact that Charles’ profile  states he dislikes dogs… really makes it sound like Elliot was mauled by dogs ngl. His favorite animal too.

-We know Charles usually writes in cursive, and given the fact his custom weapon isn’t listed in the list Whit showed everyone on the first trial, it’s likely it was written by him. 

Note the paper looks similar to the notepad Charles usually carries around. Also, the pen he always has on him and likes to chew on has black ink, if anyone cares. 

-Though the fact his strychnine is omitted from this list sort of means he and Teruko may very well be the only people in the killing game who know he has that weapon…

My guy’s getting poisoned isn’t he.

-Anyways, his profile also states he likes coffee ice cream, and this was reconfirmed in the recent QnA. He can also apparently brew good coffee, but not in the killing game since he doesn’t have the right materials (see: FTE).

-His secret quote is “If you forgot it, then it probably wasn’t important to begin with. None of those memories should ever be kept, anyway.” It’s possible it’s just talking about his brother, but if this follows the same logic as Arei’s and Min’s (as in, a phrase Charles actually says out loud), it will be interesting to see in what context he says it. Has he regained some of the memories of his brother’s death perhaps? He’s speaking of amnesia with quite the authority. But that’s just speculation.

-The quote on the Mai Akasaki profile attached to him is “A girl who loves her family.” Because he doesn’t remember his brother, but Mai loves her family apparently. I find it sorta hilarious that this is one of the only solid pieces of information we have about Mai’s backstory.

-Recap Foil Theory by gleamingtempest assigns Teruko as a narrative foil to Charles, which we’ve already seen come into play. They’ve essentially gone in opposite character arcs so far, with Charles opening up and starting to rely on others just as Teruko begun distrusting everyone and distancing herself from the rest. Other ways they foil include their attitudes towards the past; Charles considers his life very ordinary, all things considered, as he’s completely forgotten the worst part of his past. Meanwhile, Teruko hardly remembers all the things which she’s been through because of the sheer amount of bullshit she’s been through. Her luck has basically made her quite experienced in the situations Charles is most incapable in, anything with corpses and blood being the main thing. Among other thematic and narrative connections.

Charles obviously has very interesting thematic connections to a lot of other characters, but if I get into everything I’ll be here forever.

-He has numeral III in the David MV, a number which doesn’t seem to have any applicable symbolism on its own.

The phrase it’s connected to is “if you doubt brittle things are broken”, which refers to the preconceived notion he’s an only child (and his scar being a birthmark) being destroyed by questioning them, as he expresses in this scene:

Charles: Things you had accepted as truth your whole life begin to reveal themselves as lies. And once all the pieces are in place, you realize you were a fool for never seeing the whole story before.

There’s also background text, a famous passage from “The Little Prince”:

“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

“The essential” here is likely meant to be Charles’ memories or relationships.

-Color Theory by accirax assigns him plum, which includes the following words:

*change! X2: He went through a pretty fast character arc, so “change” makes sense.

*like that: This one makes sense with the context of the scene, but that will take too long to explain and it’s not too important.

*the o in original: Not getting into this one either, but in context it probably is just another reference to his change of heart. What? What do you mean that’s not what I’ve ever said in relation to this word? Don’t worry about it.

*a cup of poison: Strychnine stays winning.

Alright, now some more useless fun facts!

-His birthday, September 5th, doesn’t seem to have special meaning to him, but it does land on the International Day of Charity, National Cheese Pizza Day, as well as…

National “Act Dumb” Day, and National Be Late For Something Day.

…

Who the fuck comes up with these?!

-He dismisses the concept of a favorite color pointless, but his favorite color is cerulean (sorta blue like his gloves). His least favorite color is dark red because of blood, so yes, the characters see it as red.

-He likes “nostalgic food” that reminds him of his childhood. Hey, remember how he really wanted to eat pancakes in the FTE? And remember how Elliot liked pancakes? I’m sad now.

-He’s good with computers and technology in general (see: his talk about CDs vs DVDs), and apparently uses machine learning for chemistry purposes.

-He smells like laundry detergent. Presumably because he’s cleanly as a chemist, but I like to think he just spilt a fuckton of it on himself trying to wash his clothes.

-He’s right-handed and American, like practically everyone in the cast. Though he is ethnically hispanic/latino.

-He likes his hair length and doesn’t like the idea of cutting it short. Also, his hair color’s natural.

-He doesn’t need to wear those goggles all the time, but he’s stubborn. And his lab coat is slightly oversized, but he won’t admit it.

-In the FTE, Whit flexes quite a few nicknames for him. Charlie, Ceci, “Cha-ro-shi”… I think this is funny.

And finally, a few songs that I think fit him! Though my music taste doesn’t really align well here, so I had to reach a bit for a few of these. You have to understand, the extent of my research for this part always just extends to me scrolling down my playlists and seeing which songs I think work with the character.

+Toxic by Britney Spears. I am only slightly sorry.

+She Blinded Me With Science by Thomas Dolby. You decide what Charles ship this goes with.

+Uncanny by Ghost & Pals. It’s about someone struggling to understand and accept their own feelings and experiences (memories), so it fits.

+Amygdala’s Ragdoll by Ghost & Pals. Amnesia song.

+Aura by Ghost & Pals. A song about confronting past and present horrors.

+Lost One’s Weeping by Neru. “Science, math I like. But I’m terrible at English, so I despise”. He dislikes acknowledging his weaknesses and prefers to focus on the things he’s good at.

+Meltdown by iroha(sasaki). A song about change with a nuclear reactor as a metaphor. Perfect.

+Hyperdontia by Ghost & Pals and CreepP. “Pull them out and wash them off, the memories”.

+Candle Queen by Ghost & Pals. Sorta fits pre-arc Charles.

+Aishite by Kikuo. Trust me bro. He gives me these kind of vibes of a “golden child”, you know what I mean?

+SIU (Suck It Up) by Maretu. If you ignore what the lyrics are actually about, the vibe works quite well.

+Nobody Makes Sense by PinnochioP. I cannot explain to you why I think this fits so well, but in my mind it does.

+In iolite by Ghost & Pals. Hopeful and lowkey. I just really like this song, and I think it sorta fits.

+Those Who Carried On by guess who, Ghost & Pals again. I think the vibe fits decently, and if Charles is one of “those who carried on” I think it kinda works? Idk.

+100 Digits of Pi by AsapSCIENCE. You can’t tell me he can’t sing this front to back and then continue for like fifty more digits.

+The Periodic Table Song by AsapSCIENCE. Obviously.

And finally:

Happy Birthday! Though he’s going to be extremely embarrassed the entire time it plays.

(Also this is apparently my 100th post so pog)

[hood-ex]

Finished JJK S1.

Woooo this fight scene with the song and editing fucked so hard. Had to be my favorite fight of the series so far. Nobara and Yuji worked great as a team, which I suppose makes sense because they kinda seem to run on the same wavelength. Like they'll always be screaming and yelling about the same things while Megumi is either indifferent or embarrassed about it lmao.

When Yuji asked Nobara if she felt bad about killing Eso and Kechizu, and she said no, but Yuji pointed out that Eso cried for Kechizu... I resonated with that sense of compassion Yuji has.

I'm glad Megumi actually won a damn fight at the end of the series. He's a cool dude. but his skills weren't quite up to snuff just yet, so I'm glad that Yuji's progress inspired him to be better. Or, really, he just kinda let himself go off the rails fully.

It's really interesting to me how a lot of the characters in this series are motivated by a particular person(s). Like Yuji and his grandfather, Nobara and that lady that her village chased away, Megumi and his sister, Kasumi and her little brothers, and Noritoshi and his mother.

Mahito just pisses me the fuck off. He was fine at first, but then when he wouldn't just die, I grew tired of him and his deranged giggles. And his whole talk of the soul and stuff. Like yeah yeah shut up.

I actually grew to really like Todo. I thought he was just some annoying brute at first, but when he fought Yuji and formed a sense of friendship/brotherhood with him, that's when I found him really fun. His clapping while fighting Hanami was sooo lmao. And his love for that celebrity girl is alskdja.

Nanami ofc is one of my favs so far. I already ranted about him earlier, but I like that he feels reliable and protective. He's just cool.

Wasn't sure how I felt about Toge until I got to see him in action. He's cool as well, and I want to see more of him in the future.

I want more Sukuna bro. Wish he talked more. Though I suppose maybe less is more in his case. It makes it more impactful when he does appear briefly. But I also won't be mad if he does come forth more frequently in the future. And I will also be thrilled if he's the one to end Mahito. I'll pay him to wipe that smile off Mahito's face.

Gojo is just a fun character. A badass who also acts as comic relief. I kinda like him better with his mask on though lmao his blue eyes are kinda intense.

Oh oh oh, I loved that moment when Nobara was fighting Momo and told her she could dress pretty if she wanted and be powerful. Like yeees! Duality~

All the techniques are pretty interesting. Megumi's lightning bird thingy is probably one of my favorites. Toge's ability is awesome in action. And I wasn't really sure about Nobara's hammer and nails, but her use of them, especially in the last episode, became more interesting.

...While looking up a character's name just now, I just stumbled across a spoiler... haha fuck you Mahito.

No but the Junpei situation was sad, and it was set up well enough that I felt okay about his death because I felt like it served it's purpose in motivating Yuji more. Like obviously it would've been nice if Junpei survived, but the tragedy of his life truly did serve as just, well, a tragedy. (That being said, fuck Mahito, all my homies hate Mahito.)

I don't understand why I'll be like 9 minutes into an episode and then all of a sudden the opening credits will randomly start playing. Like bro?? Why not just play that at the beginning?? I know I've been out of the anime game for a long time but surely that's not a typical thing in modern animes, is it?? Or was it always that way and I forgot??

Overall, I'm enjoying the characters and plot. It does drag a bit when the characters constantly have to explain their abilities or certain things about curses and such, but I suppose it's the same as sport animes when they constantly talk about new techniques.

[clumsiestgiantess]

Chapter nine of the Other-world Universe; drunken shenanigans! Amongst other things. (This chapter’s one of my favorites)

all chapters linked here

[Hangover? I hardly know her]

On one boring Saturday, several weeks from my first attempt at redemption, I left for the other-world after dinner.  It seemed so much more inviting now that Erica had forgiven me.  Well, not forgiven me, actually.  It was more along the lines of facing the reality that I occasionally wandered through her world whether she wanted me there or not.  I had a better feeling about things, regardless.  I still wanted to make a better impression than I had when we first officially met.  Erica had willingly spent time with me, and she'd actually enjoyed it.  She said so herself.  The thought of that rainy day made my heart skip a beat.  Befriending the people of the other-world was a lot more gratifying than sitting around invisibly controlling them.  Albeit, it was a lot harder.

It wasn't raining that evening, but large clouds hung heavily in the air.  Erica's house was empty when I meandered past the cliffside, and I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sorrow at the sight.  What was I going to tell her, anyways? I asked myself internally.  'I came back because my world's boring and you aren't?'  No, it was for the best that she wasn't home.  I could wait for tomorrow — maybe get there a bit earlier.  I’d come later into the night, but then again, I always come around dark.  It stresses me out less and makes me feel a bit more hidden.

Wandering further through the outskirts of the city, I debated controlling someone to get closer to its center.  However, since everything that happened, I was really trying to be less lenient with my own rules.  'Absolutely necessary' was already vague enough.  Deep in thought, I stumbled over a car in the street, not even realizing it had turned down the road I was walking on.  I glanced backwards to find the vehicle flipped upside down in the road behind me.  Too many bystanders had seen it happen, though.  This was a residential area, and people were already flocking out of their homes to witness the damage.  Like so many other accidents I'd caused, I could do nothing to help without making a scene.

I guiltily slunk off to a different, less inhabited place.  The streets were filled with pawn shops and sketchy offices that were most likely fronts for a plethora of illegal things.  I quickly moved on from that section and continued around the outside of the city.  After finding nothing of particular interest, I was ready to call it a night and head back to my own world.  A split second from vanishing away, I felt a magnetic-esque tug.  Erica.  Should I look for her?  Will she think I’m stalking her if I do?  In the end, I decided to just check in on her, then head back home.  Strange streets slowly became more recognizable as I traversed the roadways trying to follow my and Erica's sixth sense.

Once the old club came into view, I picked up the pace, suddenly realizing where she must be.  Erica was nowhere in sight when I arrived, and I had to wait later into the dark morning for her to emerge from the building.  This time, she actually recognized her car, so I assumed she wasn't too buzzed.  However, the second her car was running, she proceeded to put it into drive rather than reverse.  She came horribly close to smashing directly into the car parked in front of her.  Thankfully, my reflexes reacted before my brain did.  I quickly stopped the vehicle in its tracks with a free hand.  Eyeing the empty streets for any passerby, I brought her car to the empty lot I'd sat in to watch the city over a year ago — only a block or two down the street.  It took a few moments after I'd placed it down, but Erica eventually stepped out of her car and looked around the lot, confused.  "This isn't my house," she stated confusedly after examining the darkening streets.

Oh boy.  "Erica, what are you doing trying to drive this drunk?" I asked quietly, slightly exasperated, "Weren't you already arrested for doing this?"   She whirled around towards the sound of my voice, glancing around the dark with a bewildered expression.  "H- hello?  God, is that you?"  Shortly afterwards, she dissolved into a mess of giggles and slumped back down into the driver's seat.  "Don't take me yet!" Erica exclaimed drunkenly, "Wait until the hangover starts, then I'll want to leave."  Sighing, I kneeled on the concrete and considered my options.  I couldn’t leave Erica in the lot; she was far too drunk to stay by herself in the city, especially at night.  My first thought was to take her home myself, but that meant I’d have to pick her up either in her car or just in my hand.  I knew for a fact that sober Erica would passionately refuse both options.

Taking her car was basically out of the question, though.  It would be way too risky trying to hide it from the view of all the people in the other-world who might look up and spot it, even if it was the dead of night.  The only way to get Erica home is to carry her there.  I debated my decision for a moment.  “Erica, can you come out of the car for a second?  I- I need to take you home, but I’m honestly not sure how.”  Erica shrugged and stepped off her seat, stumbling on the cracked cement.  Hesitating a few times, I reached for her.  Unfortunately, I had to keep myself invisible in the outskirts of the city.  Erica would have a fit if I were to try this while she was sober, but I had no other choice.  

My fingers slowly curled around Erica’s torso, lifting her a few inches into the air.  The second her feet left the ground, she shrieked like she was being murdered.  I quickly set her back down, regretfully watching as she scrambled behind her car for safety.  Her bubbly mood was replaced with a newly terrified one.  It was heartbreaking; all her newfound trust in me was instantly revoked.

Erica’s frightened voice echoed from her hiding spot.  “I can’t be controlled again.  Please, it has to stop.  I don’t want to be a puppet.”  She sounded like she was on the verge of tears.  Was she really this scared of me, or is that the alcohol talking?  Sitting up as much as I could without fully standing, I surveyed the area for people.  Streetlights and neon signs hummed with life, but otherwise the surrounding streets were completely dead.  Tentatively, I came out of invisibility.  “Erica,” I called softly, “It’s just me.  I won’t control you, I promise.”  Her head popped up from her hiding place behind her car.  “You’re not?” she asked, looking me over warily.  I shook my head and she slid out of hiding.

Erica meandered around the lot for about 20 minutes afterwards, blabbering drunken nonsense and pacing around aimlessly.  She tried twice to drive home, but I refused to let her get in her car.  I’d quickly slide my hand over the door every time I saw Erica make a move towards it.  The second time I blocked her, she pressed herself into my fingers, trying to force them apart so she could get past them.  It was strangely adorable, but I still refused to let her in.  Driving in her disoriented state was basically a death sentence.  

“Come on,” she whined, “I wanna go home already!”  “I can’t let you drive this drunk,” I replied.  She sighed, giving one last attempt to pry my fingers free.  Finally, she sat down tiredly on the back of her car.  A few minutes later, Erica nearly slid off her seat in drowsiness.  I quickly reached over and caught her before she got a face full of cement.

Immediately, Erica slid out of my grip and hurried to the newly opened doorway.  At that point, I was worried I might have to hold her car aloft to stop her from using it.  However, Erica paused at the door, hand hovering over its handle.  Slowly, she turned to look up at my exhausted expression.  "You're..." she paused, considering my large form sitting cross-legged in the lot, taking up more than half the empty space.  "You're my friend, right?  I can trust you?"  

I was baffled by her questions, but immediately had the answer.  "Of course you can trust me."  Erica gave me an oblivious, innocent smile, "That's good.  I like you.  I'd invite you over to my house, but you won't let me go."  She wandered over to my hand, laying back on it like a bed.  "Guess I'll just sleep here tonight.  But I’m going to make it your problem."  I sat stunned while Erica rambled on in a half asleep voice.  In her slightly delirious state, she'd asked me where my house was and questioned whether I even had one or just slept in the mountains somewhere.  Before I could try to explain my situation to her, she'd fallen asleep.

After a few minutes, I bent over to see her closer, fingers cupping around her ever so slightly.  I didn't dare get too close though, just in case she woke up and my closeness scared her.  Butterflies flitted around my chest as I gazed down at Erica tucked sleepily in my palm.  I gushed over how sweet a moment it was before realizing something like that would probably never happen again.  Once she sobered up, I doubted Erica would ever be that trusting of me.  I can enjoy this moment now, though.  Before it ends, and I go back to being seen as an 'untrustworthy monster' not a 'safe friend'.

My pulse quickened slightly as I felt Erica shift unconsciously on my palm.  Her arm slid over my thumb, pulling it closer to herself as she nestled her head on the pad of another finger.  The feeling was so overwhelming, I felt my eyes tearing up.  Seeing her sleeping soundly was making me doubly tired.  It was definitely well past midnight, and I still hadn’t slept, myself.  Even when I closed my eyes to get some rest, there would always be some suspicious sounds out on the street or a slight movement from Erica, and I'd suddenly be woken again.

Eventually, I must've fallen asleep, because when I woke up the sun had drifted above the horizon.  My heart dropped in panic as I quickly became invisible once more.  Hopefully no one had spotted me while I was sleeping.  Erica was still out cold, so I slid my hoodie out from its previous use as a pillow for myself, and placed it on the ground with Erica on top of it.  My hand prickled awfully from the loss of blood over the course of the night.  I had to hold it still for hours so Erica wouldn't wake up.  As I shook out my hand and bent my fingers to get them back to normal, I pulled away from the building behind me to check how much damage I'd undoubtedly caused by leaning against it.  There was a large dent in its side where my back rested.  Thankfully, the building looked long abandoned.

Early city sounds started up for the day, and I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.  Horns blared in the direction of the highway, and a flock of tiny pigeons scattered into the sky.  Suddenly, a small yelp startled me mid-yawn.  I glanced over at my hoodie where Erica was now sitting upright in confusion.  "What-  Where am I?  What happened?  Alexis, are you-"  "I'm here," I replied softly, not wanting to draw too much attention to myself.  Erica flinched slightly at my voice before calming down once she recognized it.  A few seconds passed as she stared into the distance, possibly remembering vague details from the night before.  

"You.. wouldn't let me drive home last night..."  "Because you were ridiculously drunk and almost crashed within five seconds of trying to drive," I finished.  Erica sucked in a pained breath of air as she clutched her head and slowly laid back down.  "Fucking hangover," she cursed under her breath.  "I think the drinks might’ve been spiked.  I.. I really shouldn’t keep going back there.”  She rolled over and clutched fistfuls of my hoodie closer to herself. “Thank you though, for keeping me off the road.  I could've died; I wasn't really thinking." I smiled, breathing in the early morning air.  "You're welcome."

"I have some water in my car," Erica realized aloud.  "If I could just get it..."  I would offer to get it for her, but I doubted I could get to the bottle without accidentally tearing the door off.  We sat in the lot for some time, Erica trying to power through her headache long enough to make it to her car.  She got two thirds of the way there before doubling over in pain.  I had to reach out and catch her before she fell to the ground.  Erica froze when she felt my fingers hoist her back up, but she quickly got over it and made her way into the driver's seat with my help.  Finally, she got out the bottle and swallowed a few sips, slumping over in pain and exhaustion afterwards.

I noticed her cast a longing stare directed at my hoodie.  Erica wanted to lie back down, but didn't want to keep me here longer than she already had.  She sat sideways, legs still dangling out of the car, and looked up in my direction.  "Did I-” she stopped for a second then started her sentence again.  "I don't remember much of last night, but.. did I fall asleep in your hand?" she asked hesitantly.  "Yes," I confessed, "You wanted somewhere to sleep, and since I didn't let you into the car…"  "I'm sorry," Erica interjected, "That's.. embarrassing, I'm so sorry.  I kept you here all night."  I let out a breathy laugh, "No, it's fine Erica.  I really didn't mind!  It's not like anyone's missing me back home."  She seemed slightly concerned for a moment, sitting up to get off her seat before letting out a small yelp of pain and reaching for her temples, again staring longingly at the comfortable pile of fabric a few feet away.

"Hold out your hand," I instructed.  Shockingly, Erica made no argument.  Her tiny digits brushed over the pads of my own, leaning her weight onto me.  Gently, I hauled her up out of her seat.  With small careful movements, I managed to guide her back to my hoodie so she could lay down again.  With a wan smile, she burrowed herself in its folds.  "Did you know I'd be out drinking last night?" Erica asked after laying there for a while, her eyes closed in a half-sleep.  "No, I was just sightseeing in the city again," I answered honestly, "I was about to leave when I felt you were nearby and went to investigate."  

"By 'investigate', do you mean 'spy on me'?"  When I answered with a dull silence, she opened her eyes and sat up slightly to look at me.  Well, to look at the empty space that I sat in.  "That was supposed to be a joke, sorry.  I wasn't trying to chastise you."  This was new.  I don't think Erica had ever apologized to me before.  Not that she had anything to apologize for.  "I'm just glad I came when I did," I replied, "before anything happened."  She must've sensed my tone shift a bit, because she frowned at me and stood slightly before realizing that wasn't helping her headache.  "You were worried about me?"  Erica asked, looking slightly flattered.  "That's.. really sweet of you."

I nodded vigorously, though Erica couldn't see me.  "Of course I was worried about you!" I exclaimed before realizing I should probably keep my voice a bit quieter.  It hurt my throat, but it probably kept me a bit more secretive.  Even if it didn’t, whispering would also be better for Erica’s headache regardless.  "Imagine how awful I'd feel if I came back to the mansion to visit and you weren't there.  I guess I would think you blew me off, but I'd really start to worry once you were gone for weeks afterward."  

Erica sat silently for a bit, deep in thought.  "I..." she started, "I guess I didn't realize you cared about me that much."  A long silence followed, her last words resonating in the empty air.  Erica's expression became clouded with emotions I couldn't quite read.  "Are you alright?" I asked uncertainly.  The silence broken, Erica shook herself off and straightened up.  "Yeah, I'm just thinking.  I really should head home, though."  "Alright, I guess I'll do that too.  Do you need help?"  She shook her head and stood slowly, "I should be alright until I get home."  I watched her return to the driver's seat, readily waiting to catch her if she fell.

Before closing the car door, Erica slowly turned to look at me.  "Thank you, again, for dealing with me last night.  I swear I'll try not to get that drunk from now on.  It’s not that I want to, it just kinda.. happens, I guess."  I laughed slightly, "You work on that."  Erica started up the car, smiling lightheartedly.  With a little wave, she drove off back to the mansion, leaving me behind on the cracked concrete lot.  Just in case, I trailed her car from a distance.  She said she was alright to drive, but I wanted to make sure she made it home safely before I left.

I could barely sleep that evening, far too awake thanks to the events of the day, along with the fact that I’d just woken up.  Erica had trusted me so wholly that she’d slept in my hand.  I felt giddy just thinking about it, but at the same time, I had to come to terms with the fact that the incident had everything to do with the alcohol and whatever else she’d consumed and nothing to do with her actual trust in me.  However, even when she’d slept it all off, Erica had still trusted me enough to touch her that morning.  

I hadn’t touched her or even got very close to her since I’d grabbed her during our first true meeting.  She made it crystal clear that she didn’t want my massive appendages anywhere near her since then.  That was until just this morning, when she’d willingly taken my hand.  It might’ve just been Erica being in too much pain to be stingy, but she was stubborn; if she didn’t want to do something, it was near impossible to get her to change her mind.  The only reason I say near is because of my abilities, but using those was obviously out of the question.

Exited that Erica finally seemed to be warming up to me, I eagerly returned on the following Saturday.  I’d chosen Saturdays simply because they were the day I had the most free time.  I raced downstairs right after lunch and zapped off to the other-world, almost jogging to the cliffside before realizing the tremors I would undoubtedly cause.  Stepping up to the mansion, I found Erica on the phone with someone inside.  Resting on the cliffside a bit further down, I waited for Erica to finish the call and come to the door.  It was taking a suspiciously long time for her to get there, so I began wandering off to the areas nearby.  

Eventually, I noticed the glass door, which had now been fixed, sliding open.  Erica stepped hesitantly onto the patio outside.  "Alexis?  Are you out here?"  I made my way over to the mansion again.  "Yeah," I answered, "It's Saturday.  I'm here."  My sudden voice caused Erica to jump a few feet in the air.  Her face scrunched up in thought, “You came today?  It’s.. not the best time for me.  I have errands to run today."  I stared blankly at her, suddenly feeling very awkward.  "I.. oh."  I felt so stupid — it was all I could say.  “N- Nevermind.  Sorry to bother you.”

Erica snickered, shaking her head slightly in embarrassment for me.  She thought for a moment, then made a small 'aha' gesture.  "Hey, you know what?  While you're here, do you think you could help out with stuff?  I was just on the phone with a decor store.  See, I have this new couch coming, but the store's being big jerks about it and they won't deliver it for me.  They said they'd have someone help load it into my car, but.."  She stepped out a ways, gesturing to her two-seater sports car parked in the driveway.  Its trunk was only a few feet long, and that was in other-world measurements.  "It won't exactly fit.  I told them that, but I don't think the lady on the phone particularly gave a shit, so.. I'm thinking maybe, while you're here and everything, you can get the couch for me?"  

I mulled her idea over.  I don't really have anything else to do, and I was planning to spend the rest of the day here anyway.  "Well, I can't just go there and get it by myself, you have to go and claim it."  Erica waved a hand to shush me, "Yeah, yeah, I know.  I'm coming too.  I just need someone to take the couch."  "Alright," I agreed, "I'll help out.  I was planning to be here today, anyway."  My agreeance was instantly rewarded with a rare genuine smile from Erica, which was compensation enough for me.

It took Erica a few minutes to get herself ready, but soon we hit the road.  Well, she hit the road and I followed from a distance.  I was still amazed by how easily I could keep up with vehicles like her car.  Technically they were only toy-sized so I guessed it made sense.  We had to diverge paths for a bit when the highway turned through a forested area I couldn’t walk in, but using our sixth sense, I was still able to follow her despite not being able to see her.  When she got to the parking lot, she took a space at the very far end.  

“Alexis?” Erica called, stepping out of the car.  “I’m here,” I replied quietly, kneeling down.  There was an empty dog walk beside the lot on this side that gave me just enough room to stay.  Erica had probably parked all the way over here because of it.  “I’m going to have them leave the couch out on the corner over there.  Do you think you could take it without anyone noticing?”  “In front of the entire parking lot?” I asked skeptically, looking out over the stretch of asphalt and cars, "I'll try."  Soon, the new couch was brought out to the corner.  Erica told the employees who took it out there that a truck would be coming by any second to take it, but they insisted on waiting for it to arrive so they could load it inside.  It was their policy or whatnot.

Erica began to get annoyed, realizing that they would get suspicious when no one actually showed up.  Spying a van nearby, I got an idea.  I made sure Erica was preoccupied with the moving guys before stepping over and latching onto the driver.  I had them pull up to where the couch was waiting, then call out to the movers and Erica.  ("I'm here!  Is this the couch?")  Erica's eyes went wide in shock, her face paling as she rapidly figured out what I’d done.  I instantly regretted my decision, but the two movers got right to work placing things inside.  

The moment they left, Erica glared at me through the person she realized I must be controlling.  "My car.  Now."  I hesitated, but begrudgingly had the person drive out and park beside her fancy red sports car.  Erica marched up to the driver, "What the hell is wrong with you?  I thought you weren't doing any of this shit anymore!"  It was weird watching her yell at the innocent person I was controlling instead of my actual self, who was watching invisibly from above.  ("They weren't going to leave, so I thought this might help,") I explained.  She stared at the driver a moment, "Can.. Can whoever you're controlling see what's happening right now?  I remember it was like spacing out and watching things happen around me…”  Her expression shifted from anxious to enraged in a matter of seconds.  “Alexis, you can't do this to people!"  ("I know, I know.  I just need to do one thing, then they'll go off and forget this ever happened.")

Erica stood irritated the entire time as I, myself, got the couch out of the van.  Quickly, I had the driver pull away and forget the last few minutes.  "See, they're gone.  It's like they were never here," I said quietly.  I knew what I did was not going to be cast aside that easily.  "Can we just… go back to the mansion and I can explain-"  "Explain what?  You controlled someone right in front of me!"  "Erica, I controlled them for five minutes.  They were completely fine and I did nothing to hurt them.  I- I understand that what I did to you was very wrong, but it wasn't like that.  I had someone do us a favor, and that's all."  "Just bring the damn couch home."  Erica slammed her car door and sped away before I could reply.  I took up the piece of furniture and held it beneath my shirt to keep it hidden.  

I stood in numb shock as I watched Erica’s car disappear down the freeway.  What was I thinking, controlling someone in front of her, even if it was only for a moment?  On my way back, I realized that without my sixth sense to guide me, I was a bit lost.  I followed the trail of places I recognized, unsure whether I recognized them from the trip today or from another time.  The sudden sound of something ripping apart startled me from my pensive mood.  I nearly tripped over a stoplight when I looked up.  

A pitch-black tear broke through the sky to my right.  It was as if the atmosphere itself had been cut open, filled with a gaping black void of whatever was inside.  There were only two or three other cars on this backroad, but everyone who saw it stopped and watched in frightened awe.  The tear looked exactly like the strange instance of black lightning I’d noticed from a distance a long time ago.  I’d completely forgotten about it until then.  Now that it had opened a yard or so away from me, I realized that the strange phenomenon was definitely not natural.

A few seconds of stunned silence later, the tear slowly closed back in on itself, sealing up the sky once more.  What in the world was that!?  Clearly, no one else seemed to know either.  A crowd of bystanders formed in the street by their abandoned vehicles, debating over what exactly they’d witnessed.  Talk of aliens and dark magic drifted to my ears from the road below me.  Whatever strange things were going on, this time, they were not my fault.  Not wanting to stick around in case any government agencies came looking, I backed off and continued the long walk to the mansion.

When I got back, Erica was there waiting for me.  Silently, she opened the back doors and pointed inside to where the old couch used to be.  I delicately placed it inside like you would a piece of dollhouse furniture.  It wasn't completely dark yet, but it was getting there.  It had taken me a while to find my way back without Erica to guide me.  Her back was turned and it looked as if she might shut the back doors on me, so I quickly shifted to visibility.

"Erica, I'm sorry.  I'm so, so sorry," I pleaded, "It's not fair what I did.  It should never have been that long, I- I just got into the habit and didn't stop…"  She turned around to face me.  My eyes were brimming with tears, and I was gripping the cliffside so hard that chunks of rock came away in my hands.  "You're not talking about today, are you?" Erica asked, leaning tiredly against the doorframe.  I shook my head, bending down to look her in the eyes.  "You.. didn't deserve that.  I stole eight months of your life, and I convinced myself that you were better off because of it…"  I took a shuddering breath and continued.  "I don't want to scare you or hurt you, I promise."  

There was a long moment of dull silence where I could've sworn Erica would tell me to leave her alone, but all she did was sigh and step inside.  My stomach plummeted.  I stepped away, trying desperately to keep myself from full-on crying.  I had come so close.  "Hey, I'm-  I'm still here," a whisper echoed from the second floor of the mansion.  "I just came up here to talk to you easier."  I wiped the tears from my face as best as I could in the pitch dark of the coming night before stepping into the light of the house.

"You genuinely care about me, right?" Erica asked once I came back over.  I nodded furiously.  "You're lucky that I care about you, too.  We’re friends, which means we’re supposed to look out for each other.  So just.. Please don't control people anymore.  It’s not right and it freaks me out."  She crossed her arms defiantly, "And if I ever see you do anything like that again, even if it's for a few minutes, even if a person isn't affected by it in the slightest, that's it.  You and I are done."  I blinked, slightly astounded despite my awful predicament.  "There's.. there's a you and me?  We’re friends?"  Erica rolled her eyes, "That's what you got out of all this?  You know what, maybe there isn't a you and me after all."  "No, no!" I backtracked, "I agree with what you said before, I won't control anyone again!”  "You better not," she chided, pointing a finger at me, "Or else."

I stood feeling chastised while Erica glanced awkwardly back into her house.  “I should really go make dinner," she mused, more to herself than to me.  "I haven’t had anything to eat since eleven o’clock this morning.  I’d order in because I really don’t feel like cooking, but I did that yesterday.”  I stood up so fast, Erica flinched.  “I can get us something to eat!”  Instantly, I vanished into my world and grabbed the backpack I’d been planning to bring.  A few sandwiches were packed inside.  

Moments later, I was back at the mansion.  Erica still stood hesitantly on the balcony.  “It.. might be a bit too much, but I have these,” I said, offering her one of the sandwiches.  It occurred to me then that I probably seemed a bit desperate to make amends by doing this.  I watched Erica’s expression.  She mostly seemed shook by the fact that I had a sandwich the length of the room behind her.  “Are you trying to win me back with food?” she questioned, glancing at me smugly.  I looked away, embarrassed, “I just.. don’t want you to be mad.”  “Then maybe you should listen to me the next time I tell you not to do something.”

“Ok..” I answered guiltily, letting the sandwich fall to my side in my hand.  She did have the right to refuse my peace offering.  “Woah, wait,” Erica stopped me, “I take bribes, hand that back.”  At her sudden remark, I let out a surprised laugh and took the sandwich out of the bag it was in, breaking off a piece that would be semi-manageable for her.  “Here you go, then,” I offered it to her.  We spent the rest of the evening eating and talking until we both started getting tired.  Before I could say my goodbyes, Erica stopped me.

“I.. You..."  Erica paused, mouth opening and closing silently as she searched for a way to tell me what was on her mind.  "You’re not controlling me anymore, are you?  And then making me forget?”  “What?” I asked, genuinely confused.  “L- Like that guy in the parking lot?  You made him forget about what he did.”  I leaned over to rest my head on my hands, propped up on the side lawn.  “Why would I want to control you?” I asked her earnestly, “What would I possibly hope to gain from doing that to you now?”  

Erica hesitated, thinking.  “I only did that to make you live an easier life.  Now that I know I was only making things harder for you, why would I keep doing it?”  She sighed, resting her head face down on the railing in front of her, staring silently at the floor for a while.  “I guess that makes sense.  And I don’t have any strange gaps in my memory like I used to.  That.. was you making me forget stuff, I think.  Some people just don’t care about others’ opinions, you know?” she explained, “I just wanted to know if you listened to me about that at the very least.”

I nodded, understanding.  Slowly, I shifted back upright.  It had to be scary — realizing that someone could take a part of your life away without you even knowing about it, or knowing what that piece of your life was for that matter.  “I swear on my life that I haven’t controlled you since the night you called me out on it,” I promised.  Erica’s head lifted, and she scrutinized my expression, searching for the truth.  “I believe you,” she said after a brief silence.  “And if I need anything in the future, like.. I don’t know.. Iike how you forced John to leave me alone, or when you stopped me from getting in a drunken accident a week ago, you’ll still be here, right?”  

“I’ll be around,” I answered.  “Every day I’ll come over here for a minute or two, probably right before I go to bed.  I’ll come check on you, and if you need anything, you can let me know, and I’ll see what I can do.  How does that sound?”  Erica let out a relieved breath, “It sounds like the right way to help me fix my life.  Thank you.  I- I guess it was wrong of me to tell you I wanted you to stop controlling people, end of story, because I agree that it is a useful ability.  So maybe you should only do it if I ask you to?  I don’t know, it just.. it scares me.”  I so badly wanted to hug her.  My hands twitched at the thought, inching closer before realizing she probably wouldn’t enjoy my giant form encroaching in her small space.

Hesitantly, I brought a hand over to the balcony and reached out a single finger instead.  “You shouldn’t have to be scared when I do that.  I want you to know for certain that I will never ever even try to control you.”  Erica stepped backwards in concern, unsure what I intended to do as I got closer.  When I paused right in front of her, her eyes widened slightly, and she stared at the outstretched digit in awe.  Slowly, Erica’s gaze lifted to meet mine.  “It’s alright,” I told her softly.  With a shaking hand, Erica reached out and delicately put her hand over the pad of my upturned finger, mouth dropping open slightly in wonder.  She dazedly traced the swirling marks of my fingerprint, shook by something so much larger in scale.

A brief moment later, I took back my arm, leaving Erica standing there speechless.  “I’ll be back tomorrow,” I promised, “to check on you like you asked.”  I backed off the cliffside and smiled at her hopeful gaze.  After a small goodbye, I left for my own world with Erica still standing wide-eyed on her balcony.

The following few months were filled with similar affairs.  Erica and I got together for a few meals, and she’d started letting me in on a few things that had been happening in her life that she’d previously kept hidden.  She admitted she’d been afraid that I’d mess with things again if she told me about them — a subtle hint to the fact that she was no longer afraid of my ability to do so, and realized that I really did never intend to use it on her again.  

Once we even had an accidental meeting when her car died in the back roads by her house.  It was deathly hot out now that summer was coming, and without any air conditioning, it was stifling.  Thankfully, I came by a little while after the car died.  I’d already been to her house and decided to walk back through the mountains where there was a bit more of a breeze, only to find Erica’s very noticeable car on the side of the road there.  Erica had been halfway passed out from the heat by the time I found her.  Her phone had died as she tried to call a towing company because she spent all her time trying to find a well-reviewed one.  

Hesitantly, I'd asked if she wanted me to get someone to help, but she strongly refused, knowing that meant I'd have to control someone again.  Even when her life might depend on it, Erica refused to break her own rules — something I seemed to be in the habit of doing, though I was getting better at it.  All she’d done was tell me: "I'd be too nervous sitting in someone else's car while you're controlling them," and I immediately halted mid-argument.  If Erica wasn’t comfortable with it, then neither was I.

I ended up taking the car back to the house with her inside it — a quick transport to the air-conditioned mansion.  Erica was thankful for the lift, even though she didn’t approve of my methods whatsoever.  I had to argue with her for fifteen minutes straight just to convince her that I wouldn’t accidentally drop her.  Erica claimed she nearly had a heart attack when I picked up the vehicle without warning.  Still, she thanked me with a gift: a bottle of champagne.

“My last bottle of alcohol in the house,” Erica admitted, “It’s yours.”  She handed me the tiny bottle, which couldn’t have been more than an inch long.  “I’m finally going sober.”  Erica beamed up at me; her eyes shone with an excitement I'd never seen before, even when I showed up to meals with oversized food from my own world.  Ever since I’d brought her that sandwich, it was like she’d finally realized that I had a whole world full of comparatively gigantic things.  Many of my recent trips, I’d brought along either food or an item for Erica to mess with.  She’d practically fainted when I came with a full-sized tube of lipstick a few days ago.  It was nearly as tall as she was, and she’d made a huge mess of it when she tried to use it herself, staining her outfit red, permanently.

Now, I stared down at the tiny champagne bottle in my hands, feeling the same strange wonder of seeing something normal at an entirely different scale.  "How about you start that tomorrow?" I asked, referring to Erica’s remark about being sober, "Go inside and get yourself a glass, will you?"  Erica nodded happily and disappeared into the mansion, returning with one of her champagne glasses.  She took the bottle from me and poured herself a cup, carefully handing it back so it wouldn't spill.  Taking the bottle between two fingers, I held it up to Erica's glass.  "Cheers," I announced, "to you finally getting your life back."  "Oh, I'll definitely drink to that," Erica remarked, clinking her glass with mine before taking a sip.  I took the wine bottle and poured the entire thing into my mouth.  It was barely more than a sip, but it tasted good.  It occurred to me then that I wasn’t supposed to be drinking alcohol; I was only a few months into being eighteen.  It wasn’t much, and I didn’t really care, but still.

It also occurred to me that I had no idea how old Erica was.  She didn’t look that much older than me, but I’d never asked.  “Erica,” I began, resting myself on the edge of the cliff so my head was even with the patio.  “How old are you?”  She froze mid-sip and glanced over at me.  “Why do you ask?”  “I just realized that I technically shouldn’t even be drinking alcohol at my age.  Not that I mind the tiny amount I got from this bottle,” I added with a shrug. “Are you.. I mean…  You’re out drinking all the time, so I assume you’re at least twenty-one, right?”  The look of guilt that sprung to her face immediately made me think otherwise.  “W- Well how old are you?”  I shook my head, “You first.”  “I’m.. I’m only twenty,” she confessed, “but legal drinking age is.. like.. eighteen so…  Yeah.  Now answer my question.”  

It took a moment for me to respond after that.  Not only was I unsure whether she was lying about the age a person could drink in her world, I realized that when I first saw her a year before, absolutely wasted in the parking lot, trying to break into a car she’d mistaken for her own — she was only nineteen.  In my book, that was too young an age for her to be in that situation, and way too young an age to be in the situation with John in the alleyway.

“Alexis?” Erica asked questioningly.  Her voice held the tiniest tinge of fear in it.  “I’m eighteen,” I told her.  My junior year of high school’s almost over.”  She nodded, “Unpopular opinion, but I actually liked high school.”  As I voiced my opinion against her own, claiming she probably just wasn’t remembering it clearly as a joke, I noticed her look darken for a moment, but chose not to press her about it.  I changed the topic entirely and made some small talk for a bit before we parted ways for the night.  I kept the empty champagne bottle as a souvenir, rubbing it thoughtfully between my fingers in bed that night.  "Cheers," I whispered to myself, "to finally getting things right.

[thegreatestchange]

Hi, hi, hello. I've just recently discovered the korrasami fandom and the fics and I stumbled across your 'Roll with the punches' series and omg. Hmm. I will try not to embarrass myself here, but let's just start saying: thank you SO MUCH for writing and posting that story, it sooo well written, the characters so REAL and human and flawed, the way you write the story and the timing (this coming from me. a person who does not like slow-burn, but you won my heart) and all that you planned before... well, I can only imagine how much work you have put into this story so yeah. I think thank you is appropriate here. but also--

(please brace yourself, this will be LONG because I don't shut up about things I like)

I wanted to comment on certain aspects of the story/characters because it deserves. There are two main relationships that caught my attention while reading the story (oh, OH, also, I'm starting today 'Asami Alone', not quite caught up with you yet) that I like quite a lot:

Tonraq and Korra: omg, the you kept punching me in the guts while reading Korra's background story, her father pushing her away to NY and how that affects Korra so much ("you're not who I hoped you'd be" - hearing that from a FATHER? that HURTS so much), and the breaking point in Quebec, when Korra realizes that it was all Tonraq's idea of kicking her out, and the same time, me as a reader, reading how much they are parallel to each other, a mirror in which Tonraq, not knowing how to break the cycle of trauma, inflicts the same trauma on Korra. There's a famous quote from an educator from my country that says "when culture is not liberating, the dream of the oppressed is to become the oppressor" and I think it fits Tonraq well, not in the way which Tonraq knowingly wants to be an oppressor or knows what he's doing to Korra, it's more in the sense of: since Tonraq didn't heal his own wounds, he became what his father was - taking the same actions and hurting his child.

I personally knows what complicated family relationships looks like and I absolutely admire how you've written them in this story, the characters are so so REAL, I can see that happening in real life and the way Korra reacts and hurts other people and hurts herself in the process, the way Asami tries everything in her power to be there for Korra but at the same time, she exhausts herself and ends up hurt. Really. A masterpiece.

Korra and Kuvira: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah my favorite!!! I love them so much!!!! don't get me wrong, I love Korra/Asami too, I mean I am reading/drinking/staring at everything you write, but, BUT, the way you write Korra and Kuvira's relationship???? so good. I love the funny things, the banter, the joke about their sexual history (the scene where they are talking about Kuvira biting during sex and she's like, does Asami know about that scar on your shoulder? and Korra be like, you're still alive, so no AUSHDAHSHJDASUD the way I gasped/laughed/kicked my fit (I really think Asami would make Kuvira suffer because she is THAT jealous and I LOVE IT). But also, also, the way Kuvira is ALWAYS there, good or bad, Korra being a shit and pushing her way and Kuvira always there, helping her, being a true FRIEND which Korra needs so much but rarely lets anyone get close. Also, last night I read the scene where Korra goes to rehab the goodbyes made the tear up!!! when Kuvira knocks their foreheads and say "you got this" and then, Korra running back to Asami, ah AH, chef's kiss. I secretly like the Kuvira and Asami situationship and how they inevitably love Korra but they don't particular like (?) each other lol but I'd love to see more of Korra and Kuvira, even in the past, maybe how they met? how they formed their bond? I'd read anything about them,but this is your story and I am a mere reader, so anything you want to write, I here for it!

(also, let's remember I didn't finish the series yet!!! maybe all I am writing is completely wrong, and if that happens, I am so sorry for rambling so much)

I think this is it! (I still have so much to talk, but this is what I wanted to share) sorry for the long ass comment, there's no real question here, I really just wanted to praise your writing, your characters and ramble about what I love most. Also, also! I don't remember in which story it was, but there was a few minions complaining? about the story and stuff? well, if you need help, I'm here to tell them to fuck off, I fucking hate rude people commenting in other people's stories.

thanks again and so sorry for long ass comment! <3

Hello!

First off, you are an incredible human being for persevering and getting caught up on this crazy little series of mine. Even after all these years, I still get giddy reading comments like this, so please don’t feel embarrassed. I started this story when I was 20/21 (?) and in college. I can’t believe it’s still going, but I’m happy I continued it. This story has grown so much with me, and I honestly wouldn’t be where I am today without it.

The story of love, friendships, and found family holds so much weight for me. I love reading stories like that and wanted to write one of my own. Korrasami was the ship that helped me come to terms with my queerness and eventually coming out as a lesbian. They are like a part of my dna at this point lol.

What I love about what you said is how much you enjoy reading outside of their relationship. As a girl with major daddy-issues, I couldn’t help but incorporate that into this story, even though I’ve completely bastardized tonraq in the process (LMAO), but it was an important piece of this story that needed to be told for readers like you to understand why Korra is the way she is and all the hurt she tries to keep buried but is just too much to keep hidden. She’s a complicated, controversial character (much like in the show) but deep down all she wants is to be happy with the girl that she loves without having all the baggage. And in this final installment, one of the things she will learn is that so long as she’s self-aware and continues to get the help she needs, she can have everything she hopes to achieve.

Korra/Kuvira is the second most important relationship in this story and I’m glad you recognize that. They’re so spicy and cute haha. I did want to write a prequel about the two of them, but I’m just so busy with my OG works plus rwtp that I don’t really have the time unfortunately. But never say never!

Thanks again for the lovely comment. And sorry it took me so long to respond! ❤️

[hijinks-n-lowjinks]

Idk if you’ve already made a list or whatnot but do you have like a top 10 fav ships? From any media or anything, like all time

I'm always happy to blabber about former/current hyperfixations so this question is perfect. This is in no particular order except for the first one, they will always be my #1:

kyoru (Kyo Sohma/Tohru Honda) from Fruits Basket: The 👏🏻 ship 👏🏻 ever 👏🏻 They invented love, their relationship has the perfect development and resolution, they truly love and understand each other and have such amazing character arcs both individually and together. Kyo's realization that he loves Tohru is my favorite episode in the entire show and it's constantly on repeat in the back of my mind: "She didn't erase all my pain or offer to solve all my problems. She didn't fix what was broken, but that's not what I needed anyway. What mattered most was that she stayed."

hualian (Hua Cheng/Xie Lian) from TGCF: Another couple that invented love. I sprinted through these books while season 2 was being animated and the absolute faith and trust those two have in each other is unparalleled. "What matters is you, not the state of you" has been imprinted on my brain. I cried so many times while reading these books, they were amazing, definitely one of my favorite stories ever.

mikayuu (Mika/Yuu Hyakuya) from Seraph of the End: These boys... I'm still actively reading the chapters from this manga despite having no fuckin clue what's going on with the plot all because I'm so invested in these boys. Devoted to each other since they were kids, the epitome of "I'd burn down the world to save you". Everything they do is for each other, they are always each other's first choice in everything. And we got a canon confession which is insane to me. I'll never be over them.

satosugu (Gojo Satoru/Geto Suguru) from JJK: Probably the ship that makes me the most emotional in the worst way. I'm a sucker for a good tragedy and those two fit the mold perfectly. The absolute love they have for each other even after they've split makes me so emotional. If you don't see their relationship as romantic idk what to tell you, you're just blind. Jjk 0 and the Gojo being sealed are two scenes that fuck me up each time without fail. I could rave about them for hours.

itafushi (Itadori Yuuji/Fushiguro Megumi) from JJK: The boys I'm best known for. Now, I enjoyed them as a ship from the beginning but it wasn't a true "they're everything to me" until the Itadori Extermination Arc. Yuuji's "you'll only be hurt if you're with me" and Megumi's "start by saving me" had me GAGGED. That's when I really started to pay attention and went back and became extremely invested instead of a casual enjoyer. They've always done their best to watch each other's backs and stick together. 216 fucked me up SO BAD, and everything Yuuji has done since them is to try and get Megumi back. They love each other so much, they are the parallel to stsg that will make it. I don't know how anyone can read the manga and not see how much they love each other.

bellarke (Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin) from The 100: This was my SHIP back in high school. I was obsessed with The 100 back in the day and these two were everything to me. Enemies to friends to lovers is my favorite dynamic, and these two fit that bill perfectly. Everything about their relationship was so perfectly set up for them to be endgame and yet the writing for the last few seasons was SO FUCKING BAD that I couldn't even watch the last season. From what I hear, they totally switched up Bellamy's character and he switched up on Clarke so quickly when he's always been her #1 supporter after they became friends. Their friendship was my favorite thing about the show, they truly were each other's right-hand man and constantly looked out for each other. Still pissed about what we could have had.

akiangel (Aki Haykawa/Angel Devil) from Chainsaw Man: Another tragic ship. I cannot wait to see these two animated together. I binge read all of Chainsaw Man (which was like 98 chapters at the time?) in two days and it rewired my brain. The staunch hatred/dislike of each other's kind out of principle to slowly realizing that they actually do care about each other was so good. They have such a subtle chemistry and relationship, it was one of my favorites in the series. Aki reaching out a hand to save Angel and them holding onto each other during the Bomb Girl Arc is probably my favorite scene in the entire manga, I can't wait for them to get their flowers once it's animated.

tododeku (Shouto Todoroki/Izuku Midoriya) from MHA: Narrative foils. What more can I say. These two have so many parallels in their arcs and have such a great relationship. Idk how this ship isn't more popular with how healthy their relationship is and how it started off with such strife. Deku also means so much to Todoroki and you can see that throughout the entire series that their friendship means the world to him. They give each other such a good support system, I adore them.

bokuaka (Bokuto Koutarou/Akaashi Keiji) from Haikyuu: Simp behavior, the both of them. You don't really see it initially, but these two are obsessed with each other. The Fukurodani v Mujinazaka game was so incredible for diving into their characters and relationship more! Finding out that Akaashi only came to Fukurodani because he saw a cute jock play ONE game was so funny because you don't expect him to be a love at first sight character in the slightest. He and Bokuto work so well together, they balance each other out and understand each other on such a deep level, you can't convince me they aren't in love. They bring out the best in each other and know how to get the other out of their head.

zelink (Princess Zelda/Link) from Legend of Zelda: This is specifically going to be focused on botw/totk zelink because those are the games where their relationship is explored the most, but MY GOD. Those two make me weak. Link is just this autistic/selectively mute dude who's just trying to do his job and Zelda is so jealous of his freedom and ease of being able to do his assigned role without trouble that seeing the development of their friendship/relationship through the memories was my favorite part of the game. Their bond is so strong, they truly become each other's biggest link in the chain of their support system. Totk in particular made me cry multiple times because of the tragedy of realizing what happened to Zelda that imagining what Link must be feeling upon the discovery fucks me up. They never stop fighting to protect each other and never lose faith in each other.

[fazedlight]

20 Questions More

A deeper and more detailed version of the 20 questions for AO3 fanfic writers. Thanks @eqt-95 and @inkedroplets for the tag!!

1) How do you keep getting ideas for your ship/fandom?

Daydreaming. Writing fanfic is secondary to that. It was only in the past couple of years that it occurred to me that I could write some of it down and see what happens.

2) Which authors inspire you in your fandom, and why are they so freakishly good?

@searidings is my absolute favorite, the way she unravels the characters' emotions and angst is absolutely superb.

3) Aside from the characters of your main ship, who are the characters you love to write?

Ohhh I really love this question:

Cat in Inauthentic, as well as this ficlet and this one. I love her sense of humor.

Lillian in Darkness in All Things. For the same reason as Cat, I just love her snark.

Zor-El in Even Though You're Kryptonian. He kind of surprised me when I started writing him, and to this day I don't know if some of his lines are driven by genuine confusion or if he's just trolling.

4) Are there pairings or tropes you know for sure you'd never write about? Which ones?

I'm a never-say-never kind of person. There's a lot that I don't think I would ever write, but I've been surprised on where stories have taken me before, and may be surprised again.

5) What is your writing process and why is it cursed?

"Process" might be an overstatement...

I have a "scribbles" doc where I keep my ideas. I cull ideas often (though ideas often make their way back anyway). As I write more into the doc, a certain idea may get too big for it, so I spin it out into its own doc.

From there, I kind of go back and forward between outlining and writing. I write completely out of order. Which is why, so often, my multichaps are almost fully drafted by the time I publish chapter 1. I've usually already made it to the resolution point of the plot (meaning, no one's in danger anymore, the bad guy is gone, etc), though the final chapter often doesn't get written until later.

6) What is your favorite part of your writing process?

I love when I've finished the first pass of a chapter/one-shot, and I'm in the editing stage. The story really feels like it's coming together at that point, and it's before all the self-doubt starts bubbling up (that hits hard just before posting).

7) What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to research for a fic?

A friend of mine is a professor in astroparticle physics, so I spent a couple of hours asking him about quantum mechanics stuff. But only a small portion of that ended up being relevant to the fic and the rest was just for fun.

8) Is there a particular writing rule you struggle with (grammar, spelling, tense, reality in general)?

When I'm first sketching out a scene, about half the time I write in present tense (it feels more like I'm writing a play at that point sometimes), but I publish in past tense. So I end up needing to do a bunch of revisions 😭

Also TYPOS.

9) What was your hardest scene to write so far and why?

Fight scenes are ROUGH, man.

This is probably one of those answers I'll change every time depending what's at the top of my mind. But writing out a fight scene - like in Even Though You're Kryptonian, Darkness in All Things, or It's a Metallo Life - gets surprisingly difficult if there are more than 2 people.

I know exactly how I'd shoot those scenes if I had a camera crew, special effects, etc. But it's hard making sure the audience is aware of where everyone is positioned, why they can/can't act in the moment, etc.

10) Have your characters ever done something you didn’t expect, changing your plot completely?

All the fucking time, man. From the very beginning, even. I was trying to have Lena still be angry by the DEO scene in So I Kept Pretending, but that didn't make sense anymore.

I actually recently had a fic idea dissolve because it wasn't vibing with the characters. Which is fine, it became a ficlet instead!

11) If you could converse with any of the characters, who would it be and why?

Absolutely Kara. I have so many questions about kryptonian culture and how it drives her character.

12) What are some of the tropes or themes that you find yourself returning to in your writing?

Trope-wise, I definitely return to the Rift again and again. I find themes around forgiveness and understanding to be really interesting. Can two good-hearted people with conflicting needs hurt each other while still loving each other? How? What does that mean for the aftermath?

I think that's part of what draws me to supercorp - the complexity of their relationship. How they can both be right, and both be wrong, and love each other enough to rebuild from the ashes.

13) What's your most important resource as a writer?

Coffeeshops and libraries. Getting into slightly busy, cozy environments, out of the house, really helps shake loose the stuff in my head.

14) Can you share some of your strategies for editing and revising your work?

Especially for longer works, I tend to put the work down (and circle to other works, or go outside, or whatever) before coming back to it. It helps to step away for a bit - it's easier to pick up on repetitiveness or unclear passages when coming back.

Though I always find mistakes in my stories much later, so I'm not sure I'm one to give advice on this anyway 🤣

15) Which is worse: making the summary, picking the tags, or the anxiety when you post your fic?

Posting anxiety is the absolute worst. If I leave myself in front of my computer I'll end up refreshing constantly waiting for the first kudos (if it's a one-shot or first chapter) or the first comment (if it's a later chapter) to figure out if I've accidentally pissed off everyone in the fandom somehow.

Luckily, my partner will usually pull me away to go on a walk or grab lunch or do something else to take my mind off it 💗

16) How do you define success for your fanfic - hits? Kudos? Comments? Bookmarks? Or just if you like it?

I only publish what I like. Sometimes I'm nervous that other people won't like it, but I will always like it. Stories that aren't going a way I like - even if I think the idea is cool! - will dissolve. Just recently I dissolved one that felt like it was a cool idea, but it didn't make enough sense for the characters.

Kudos and comments always make me feel appreciated as an author!! Sometimes I'll get a user subscriber out of it, too, and it feels like an honor that someone would want to hear from me more than once.

The thing that feels most precious, though, is when someone comments on how something made them feel (I love making people laugh at my dumb jokes, or cry when a story is supposed to hit emotionally), or when they pick up on something that I wasn't sure would get picked up on.

I tend to lean towards understatement in my stories. For me, the biggest success is knowing that someone recognized what I was going for, without me being overt.

17) Do you have a playlist for your favorite character/ship?

Alas, I don't. But given that Kara is canonically a Britney Spears fan and musicals nerd, I feel like my default playlist works 🤣

18) If fan art was going to be made from your work, which fic would you pick and which fan artist would you like to create it?

Oh gosh, I don't want to pick someone and create pressure, or not pick someone and make them feel bad. This fandom has so many great artists!

That said, some of my favorites do commissions, you can see everything I've commission here.

19) How many WIPs do you currently have?

1 supercorp & 1 rojarias (for @supergirlmayhem)

For me, 2-3 is my happy number, so I'm relieved to be down to this after being so high (I think up to 11?) for so long.

20) What's your advice to new fanfic writers?

If you're wondering why you can't find that story you want, it might mean that you're the one to write it 💗

- - - - -

Tagging (respectfully and without pressure) @rustingcat @luthordamnvers @sssammich @tinyvariations @thatonebirdwrites @theredcapeofk @sideguitars @luthordamnvers @mycatismyeditor @inkedroplets @nottawriter @snowydragonscave @jetgirl1832 if you want some rapid-fire q's thrown your way. But also anyone who'd like to do this!

[primewritessmut]

1, 3, 22, 26, 29, 38, 51, and 72 (not sorry for the number, I could have done more)

The horror of having something you said in DMs taken to heart.

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

I daydream (dissociate) a lot in general, which is probably why I write. There are just too many stories running around up there in my head, clogging up the works, and some of them have to come out.

Most of them don't make it out, but if there's a particular turn of phrase or scene that cycles in my brain for longer than a day, I usually end up writing it down and turning it into something.

However, once I've started a story, I have to restrain myself from daydreaming about it or it will run away from me and I'll never write it down. Which means I daydream more which means I have more things that might work as stories... it's a never-ending cycle, really.

3. Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself?

My gut reaction to this question is: WHO WOULD I SHARE MY IDEAS WITH?

But that shut-in intrusive thought aside, I usually keep my ideas to myself. I tend to be very... self-conscious about the fact that I literally make shit up in my head 24/7 and tend not to talk about it for that reason. I should probably join a writer's group or something but I just haven't yet. And I don't want to share this thing that I feel excited about with someone that's just going to nod and let their eyes glaze over (incredibly disheartening) so I just. don't.

(You're in the walls, though, so you're an exception.)

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles?

Oh man, it totally depends.

Midori Sour started as a title and spite before it became anything else. she's not going to die today jumped off the page after I wrote it and became the title. A lot of my Eddie Brock, Sex Educator series titles came after the fic was completely done and are mostly pun-based.

I tend to pick titles based on vibes and honestly don't think to hard about it. Something almost always jumps out at me or appears when I need it (if I didn't start with one in mind). I do think the way I come up with titles impacts the work that comes out. For example, I picked Midori Sour as a title for the aesthetic of the name/idea. It's green and alcoholic and comes with a cherry on top (very important), and that aesthetic has carried over into things like the description of Loki's outfits and the general flavor of the fic.

26. What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

Editing. It's editing.

I hate rereading things after I've written them, I take criticism (even constructive) very poorly, and it takes so. fucking. long. When I'm writing, I'm on the journey and once the journey is over, I'm not rehashing it with powerpoint presentations of all the places I went.

I know (I know!) editing is important and, if I ever wanted to write something that might be published or that people would buy, I would be less flippant about it. But it is literally like pulling my eyelids off with tweezers one chunk of skin at a time and I'm not about that life.

I write for fun. Editing is not fun (to me). Therefore, fuck editing.

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

I already answered this once here. But, because it's probably good for me, I'm going to try to come up with another thing I'm proud of.

Just, you know, give me a minute.

...

...

Hmm...

Physical scenes! Specifically body language. I don't think I would have thought of this as something to be proud of unless people mentioned it frequently in the comments (thank you!) but I do like to think about where bodies are in space and how that tells its own story.

38. What is your most self-indulgent posted story?

Uh. It's probably a tie between In a Yellow Wood and bloody theatre. The sole reason for writing IAYW was to create a Monster John. (And set up a chance for an explicit monster hours one-shot later.) It is very cool that the fic found the Malevolent fandom and people read it, but that was strictly for me.

Then bloody theatre has recently taken the top spot for my blood/gore indulgence, knocking certain scenes from A Particular Set of Skills out of number one.

Not that I think monsterfuckery and blood/gore need to be separated, but that's a fic I haven't started yet.

51. Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

Haha. No. I primarily read romance and horror (and sometimes, if I'm really lucky, a combination of the two). I guess I like salacious things.

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

This is strictly a fandom comment but I love it when people tell me that I captured the characters well, or that they can hear the dialogue in the character's voices. Plot is important and cool and great, but I like stories that are character driven and satisfying character arcs are satisfying so knowing that the characters are solid enough to draw out that reaction is awesome.

Also, any comment that is the equivalent of "I will inhale this fic into my body so it can be part of me forever" is pretty excellent, too.

x

[micahtranslate]

Chainsaw Man Starter Rope Cast Interview: Tomori Kusunoki

How did you feel when you got the role?

Actually, I read Chainsaw Man at the recommendation of a friend, and when I read it he said, "If it's made into an anime, I want you to play Makima." Thinking back on it, that was really a ridiculous request (lol). As I read more and more, I became more and more immersed in the character, and even though it is a very difficult character, my desire to play Makima became stronger. And when it happened, I cried with joy. It felt like all my hard work had paid off.

What would you say are Makima's charms?

Her mysteriousness and her appearance are appealing, but I personally think Makima has really good "kindness timing." It's like she can tell Denji the exact words he wants to hear when he wants to hear them. She can see through everything completely, but she also has something mysterious about her that's beyond your reach. She's a character that I'm happy to see, but also a character whose appearance makes me nervous to see what's coming next.

How did you approach playing Makima, and what feelings did you tap into?

Makima doesn't get emotional or agitated, so I wanted to give off the impression, "I don't know what she's thinking, but she seems kind." All the actors in this work use a natural acting style. It's not to the level of narration, but Makima gives off a detached feeling; she suppresses the inflection of her speech. At the same time, I wanted to convey a vague and elusive feeling, like "Oh, was she being nice just now?" I often play young children and I had never played a role like Makima before, so at first I was trying to sound more mature. Director Nakayama and the staff told me that "My performance from my first audition is ideal," and "It's ok not to focus on sounding older," so I started acting more naturally.

How is recording going so far?

I believe I was able to achieve the Makima I was aiming for! My friend wanted me to play Makima, and I had read the original work thinking, "How would I say this line?" so I had a clear idea of the nuances I wanted to portray from the start. I was able to approach that, and even though there were gaps, I was able to try things out many times, so I think I created a Makima I was satisfied with.

What should we pay particular attention to in the early part of the story?

Makima's appearance in the first episode is striking, but my personal favorite is the scene where she tells Denji to say "aaah" at the rest stop. The udon noodles were moving so smoothly (laughs), I was shocked and thought, "This is how it is in anime!" I'd like for you to compare these types of small details to the original work. It's really amazing. It feels like, "This is how the director sees Chainsaw Man."

What was your impression of the original Chainsaw Man manga?

I haven't read a lot of manga since I was a child, and when it was recommended to me, I thought, "Maybe I'll enjoy it too?" but I ended up reading it in one sitting (laughs). The characters are charming, the illustrations are beautiful, and when you're reading it, each panel passes by like a movie. I think it became such a wonderful work because everything works well together. To me, the most appealing thing about it is that it seems like it's easy to understand, but it's not. You keep flipping through the pages, wondering, "What is the true meaning of this line or this scene?" It was like watching a movie, and before I knew it, I had finished reading it.

What are the highlights of the animated version of Chainsaw Man, now that it's finally airing?

We haven't seen the final version yet, but it looks like a lot of effort has been put into it. The battle scenes have a great impact, and even small moments like Makima's "mune dau" are reproduced in minute detail. The real thrill of anime is movement, so I want people to enjoy it thinking, "So this is how they moved in that scene in the original work!"

Do you have a message for the fans?

This is the anime everyone has been waiting for! Everyone's enthusiasm is so strong that Chainsaw Man trends whenever information is released, and the production side is working on it with just as much love. I feel that kind of love as I play Makima. Please look forward to Chainsaw Man, made with everyone's love.

Translation notes:

（笑）indicates laughter, so I translated it as (laughs).

Tomori describes Makima's "優しくしてくるタイミング" (literal, being-kind-timing) as her charm point, which I translated to "kindness timing"

Tomori says Makima "感情変化がなくて" literally meaning her emotions don't change, but I translated this into "doesn't get emotional," which sounds more natural but still conveys the same meaning.

Tomori quotes the staff and director as saying "最初のテープオーディションが理想", literally "first audition tape is ideal," I specified they meant her vocal performance from her first audition tape.

Translated "年齢感" (literal: age-feeling) to "sounding older".

"ムネダウ" is a direct quote from Makima, and I'm pretty sure she is referring to how they animated her saying the quote specifically, so I opted to just leave it romanized and untranslated.

[threecheersforinking]

Drama Review: Reply 1988

**spoilers ahead**

*if you haven't seen the show, read my spoiler free WYSW post first!!*

This post will continue what I started with Boys Over Flowers (where I wrote a long unsolicited dump of all my thoughts on a show I really loved). And, needless to say, I really loved this show too. I honestly haven't cried this much at a tv show in a long time, and that's saying something because I cry very often. I think I teared up at least once every episode, and don't even get me started on the final episode because I'm pretty sure I was full on crying for at least 1 hour straight.

I guess the reason I was so attached to this show, and likely the reason this show is so popular, is because it's so relatable. Even if you haven't lived in that one particular alley in Ssangmun, most people can relate to growing apart from friends, moving out of their parents' house, leaving their childhood behind, etc. I felt like I watched this at a really appropriate time in my life, and maybe that's why I was especially emotionally impacted by it.

Characters

If you've ever read my blog before you'll know that I love a large cast of characters! So I was very pleased with all the characters and the different dynamics they had in this show. As an anime fan I'm used to teenagers/young people being the focus with adult characters being kind of an afterthought, but I really loved how developed and important all the adult characters were. The parents weren't there just to be parents, they had their own goals, lives, and struggles.

Sunwoo was probably my favorite character, but it was hard to pick a favorite because they were all so great. Funnily enough, Bora was originally my least favorite character (due to how cruel she was to her siblings at the start), but I'm happy to say she really grew on me. The development she went through due to her relationship with Sunwoo made me like her a lot more. The two of them were so cute together and I really enjoyed their secret dating era in 1989.

I also loved Taek and Sunwoo's blended family, I thought it was so nice how they became brothers after being friends for so many years. The way the show handled the two boys' reactions and adjustment to their parents dating was really well done as well.

The Romance Subplot

As I've said before, I like love triangles, and this show was no exception. Coming directly off of my watch of Boys Over Flowers (in which the love triangle lowkey had me ripping my hair out), this love triangle was a breath of fresh air. Honestly I have never been so conflicted as to which love interest I'm 'rooting for' before. I think I may have been subconsciously rooting for Junghwan because that 'fake confession' episode hit me right in the gut, but I loved both Taek and Junghwan so much I genuinely didn't even care.

One of my favorite scenes in the show is how after Sunwoo explains to Taek that you can tell how someone feels about a person by how they look at them, the episode ends with Taek noticing how Junghwan is looking at Deoksun. It's a great dialogue-less moment and really sets the tone for their dynamic for the rest of the show.

While I liked this love triangle, I do think the implications of the time jump put me off a bit. As I said, I was kind of rooting for Junghwan, and the episode where he realized he lost Deoksun to Taek was heart wrenching. But as Junghwan said himself, what exactly had he been doing for the past 5 years? It was a bit hard to pity him when he had so many opportunities to ask her out and beat Taek to the punch.

Other Stuff

Honestly, I didn't love the 2015 flash-forwards too much, they were too few and far between and took me out of the immersion of the 80s/90s setting. I think the first one was ok, the others felt a little less necessary, and then it went so many episodes without a single 2015 scene that I almost forgot they were a thing. I enjoyed the 2015 scenes in the last episode after we knew who got married to who, but it still felt like the show could've done without those scenes. The most important/emotional moments in the series happened in Ssangmun anyway.

The time skip from 1989 to 1994 had me kind of displeased at first, and I didn't know why, because I've watched tons of shows with a time skip before and had no problems with it. I think it was in part because the first 17 episodes of the show took place over the span of less than a year, and then all of a sudden in the last 20 minutes of the 17th episode it jumped ahead 5 years without a warning.

But to be honest, I think my dislike of the time skip came from the fact that I really enjoyed these characters' daily lives and the regular pace the show had been going at that such a far jump ahead was making the end of the series feel more imminent.

I'm really glad I gave Reply 1988 a chance, especially because I barely knew anything about it before watching. I'm really enjoying kdramas so far and glad I've been trying to watch more of them.

Thanks for reading!

-threecheersforinking

[mischas]

i'm 35 and the oc has been my entire life as a teenager/young adult and i love this show so much. i was wondering when you became a fan and what does your life look like now? do you still rewatch it a lot? what are your least favorite plotlines in s1-s4? i love hearing your thoughts. take care :)

Hi! You're very sweet, thank you! So just as a heads up my answers here are going to veer into the negative because I'm in a super negative space with the show as of late and I don't see that changing anytime soon. I apologize in advance for the soapbox. (and I mean really really negative)

For starters, I never watch the final season. I barely even watch s3, and haven't seen a complete s3 episode in a while. Certain scenes, though, yes and on a loop. Though not lately. But the final season doesn't exist to me because I find it repulsive and a stain on the entire show before it, even the horrendous third season. I often wish I could be like Adam Brody and separate the show into 's1 vs the other bullshit'. Believe me, I'm trying. Though I'd say splitting the show in half is best since you get to end on the shooting. S1 is on another level entirely and it wasn't until CHD that I understood why (for the most part). And that's a really terrible realization the more I think about it.

I'm almost 30 and I started watching when I was about 16 in high school. My life now is... not very exciting, lol. I work too much. Sometimes I don't work enough. I struggle with mental health (as evidenced by how seriously I take this stuff). I got into this show maybe a year or two after it had been off the air and Tumblr (and FanForum) was a super fun place to be at that time (2009/2010ish). The remaining Marissa fandom in particular was just cozy and sweet. We saw ourselves in her, had head canons, made fan art, discussed what she'd be up to, etc. I obviously wasn't part of the OG Marissa/Mischa fandom so I was pretty unaware of the shit they dealt with. On Tumblr we just celebrated her and it meant a lot to me.

For years, I, like many, thought Mischa chose to leave on her own. I could semi-stomach 325 as an arc, while still refusing to watch the next season in rewatches. This is the 2010s when JS was yelling "Tragedy was in her DNA" etc. But ever since MB started talking more about her experiences in 2021, and the podcast talking around her and Marissa forever, not to mention their shitty responses to her claims of bullying by men in power, I have been on a downward trajectory with it. The book is giving us maybe 10% of what really happened on that set. Mischa has been carrying the secret of her first relationship on her shoulders for 20 years, one that went on for months when she was 17 years old, and they all well fucking know that. I am in genuine disbelief at how they treated her then and how they treat her now. This isn't a fictional character. This is a real fucking person they keep screwing over!

But that does bring me to my next point which is that this show was unbelievably influenced by irl dynamics and I think that is disgusting. It's not just stealing Death Cab away from Adam (though I have my own thoughts on all that). There's a reason Ryan never pines for Marissa in the same way she pines for him in s2. Why he pretends she doesn't exist when he isn't dating her (from s2 on). There's an extremely charged energy to the way he verbally abuses her in 209. Like... this happened to MB at just 18. And look at how they modeled Volchok after Cisco and how they made MB pretend to do coke on camera when they knew full well she had a sober coach on set. Like, I know enough to put me off the show forever, but I am unfortunately endlessly fascinated by it. I'm sorry that I can't take the show at face value anymore, because it did and does still mean a great deal to me. But they thought they were in the clear 20 years later to only partially air their dirty laundry without much pushback and MB had the guts to say "well hold on" and be a thousand times more graceful doing so than I ever would. And we still don't know even a fraction of everything else that went down to this very real teenage girl they used and abused. Not to mention how JS/SS abruptly fired her and didn't even have the balls to tell her to her face. Her father told Josh's ass to stay away from the 325 set and he DID. Christ alive, this man should never work again.

I don't feel great about going all guns blazing here but I'm very tired and I get very little joy from the show right now. And I'm sorry that this is definitely not the response you were probably hoping for. To be clear, I want to enjoy the show. It means more to me than any other, probably. It's why I've been on this website since I was a teenager. But many aspects of it have been ruined for me and idk if there's a way back. How they purport themselves to be a family show still to this day when they treated the girl that they pursued for the job (at 16!) like shit is egregious. I will never be over it.

Sigh

To answer your actual questions, my least favorite plotlines (from s1-s3) are:

Johnny

Jimmy leaving in 207

Dean Hess

DJ

Julie/Luke

Lindsay/Caleb/Ryan

Charlotte

Hospital/Newport Group

Seth/pot (on paper this sounds wonderful but in execution it is as lifeless as the second half of the entire show)

Oliver (for good measure, officially when they jump the shark; he drives me crazy but TH does such a good job playing him that I'm ok with it until all of its aftermath is unfairly put on Marissa)

[ghostwise]

Tagged by the lovely @ghoulsbeard for a writing commentary exercise! Thank you so much, this was really fun! Tagging @coldshrugs @thevikingwoman @scionshtola and tbh I'm not sure who has or hasn't been tagged in this one... tagging all my writing friends please!! 🙌🏽💖

line(s) that made you laugh

“This pair claim to be enchanted to more easily spot nugs,” Alistair calls from the other end of the shop. “Could be useful.”

“How?” Hamal asks.

“If you have Sandal alter them to spot…”

“Traps?” Zevran asks.

“Darkspawn?” Leliana adds on.

“I can already sense those,” Hamal groans.

“The possibilities are endless,” Alistair says, quiet, awed, and mostly to himself.

- the reading stone

I don't write ensemble silliness often enough, and I had a lot of fun setting up this scene where they're all kind of goofing off. I fully believe that if you take the stress away from them for a moment they revert to dweeby antics.

line(s) that makes you sad

“I’m so glad you’re doing well. So tell me,” she scoots closer and looks at him eagerly, “What sort of life did you have, after you were adopted?”

“Adopted?”

By the kitchen counter, Hamal catches the subtle edge in Zevran’s tone. He pauses, holding the knife in his hand as a lull falls over the kitchen table, but he doesn’t know enough Antivan to guess what’s happened.

What’s happened is this: Zevran and Adelmar came from the same place, and know enough about that life to instantly understand that a lie has been told.

“Oh,” Adelmar breathes after a moment. “You… you weren’t adopted.”

Zevran lets out a laugh. It’s his ‘stalling’ laugh, and now Hamal is looking over, arms crossed, searching his face for clues.

“I was not adopted,” he says. “But do not trouble yourself over that.”

- not a homecoming, but something like it

It's obviously upsetting that Adelmar was lied to about what happened to Zevran, but I think in this moment they are both standing in the shadow of the life they could've had. Adelmar loved Zevran before the Crows ever touched him. The tragedy is, though, she was very much a child herself, so it's unfair to expect her to have been able to save him... but damn if she wouldn't have tried.

line(s) that you’re proud of

People think the desert is barren; the land harsh, the people unforgiving. They couldn't be more wrong. In all Refugio’s experience, scarcity creates generosity—not greed.

In the desert no one survives alone. It is a simple necessity to share resources, to freely give of one’s food and water and laughter. The desert gives people reason to band together. He’s never given it a second thought.

He remembers it fondly, how with each rainy season the desert comes to life.

People think the desert is barren. They don't know: the desert makes you kind.

- lovesong of the buzzard

Genuinely truly, Refugio is one of my favorite characters to write. 🥹 His voice comes easy to me; he's so vibrant and clever and funny and deeply emotional always, and this little piece is so wistful and homesick... it truly is an exercise is poetry I hope to continue to emulate. It's one of those bits of writing that make me think, oh if I can make more like this... I'm set.

line(s) you think could’ve been done better

The group ate and moved on. They chatted as they went, Cammen and Mathuin ultimately deciding on forgiveness. Not for any particular reason; just because it was easy and kind. Zevran was grateful for it.

The further they went, the thicker the forest became. Tree branches crowded overhead, but never overlapped, creating an unusual patchwork ceiling. Between the gaps in the canopy, daylight fell in dancing columns that tricked their eyes.

- for suffering is such a part

This one's kind of tough. I feel like every line has a job to do in writing, but they can't all be masterful and brilliant and insightful; that'd be silly. Some lines and passages are just there to efficiently get us from one bright spot to the next.

That being said, I could've done more showing rather than telling in fsisap. If I were to tackle it again I think it'd be really different in style, not to mention much longer 😵

line(s) that makes you want to punch a character

Atanasio was right about one thing: A Crow did not lose his composure. Even with a line of blood beginning to form at his neck, the man looked at Zevran with a wholly unimpressed expression. He remained thus, quietly thinking, before answering.

“Who?”

- quinta de talpa

This guy suuuuucks. I have this image of a man who has been tasked, for decades, for most of his life in fact, to just torture children--and he rationalizes it to himself so fully! Perceiving him through Zevran's POV makes it all the more impactful. This encounter is a nightmare from his childhood. This man is a monster he survived, when far too many didn't.

line(s) that makes you go “awww”

Hamal hums softly, happily.

“I dedicated the fight to you,” he says. “The Paragons will favor you now, I think. All of Orzammar will know.”

Zevran presses a light kiss over the dressings and gauze on his arm.

“Ah, but your favor is the only one I need.”

- tengo la vida muy corta (y tu la mirada decente)

Tender wound bandaging is a good trope and I think this little excerpt is sweet. I don't think I ever posted it here.

line(s) that contain an easter egg

For a moment she focused solely on Hamal, lying across from her. Zevran saw a moment of unmasked feeling, a deep sadness welling in her eyes, and she lifted a hand to brush against Hamal’s face.

“Is he alright?” she asked quietly. All the usual edge was gone from her voice.

“He will be fine,” Wynne responded. Morrigan’s eyes shut. She drew her hand back, and held it against her chest like it burned.

“Good,” she said softly, and Zevran got the impression, only for a moment, that she knew something no one else knew. “Good.”

- for suffering is such a part

Not sure if I'm interpreting 'easter egg' correctly, but this is Morrigan talking about the dark ritual.

I hope to write a little more exploring Hamal and Morrigan's dynamic because it's very bittersweet.

line(s) that are shocking

“Zevran, I don’t know how to shut the damn thing off!”

Hamal’s hands were mere inches from the looms, but he gripped the assassin’s ankle, trying to pull their body free.

“Leave them, amor,” Zevran said.

“But they’re—it is crushing them!”

“They’re gone. We have to leave!”

- (wip) quinta de talpa

A little snippet from a scene in QdT. It's one of those scenes where things just go terribly awry and I'm excited to edit it up and share it.

line(s) you want to talk about more

Zevran thought carefully. The story had the cadence of a very long riddle, and he had the suspicion that there was no wrong or right answer to it. He also got the impression, judging from Mathuin and Cammen’s inquisitive gazes, that the story would not be complete until he answered. It was his turn now to conclude the narrative.

He thought about it at length. Mathuin and Cammen waited patiently, silent, full of anticipation for his response.

“Alright,” he said finally, having thought about it for quite a while. He stopped by a large tree and looked up at its branches, as the others listened.

“I think both stories punish the clan, not for cutting the tree, but for their treatment of Abelas. In the first story, they should have been watching the child more closely. They knew he was destined for challenges, so they should have worked doubly to keep him from harm. In the second story, the clan should not have sought to drive the man away. They knew he had suffered all his life, so they should have helped him get back on his feet, not ostracized him. The moral of both stories is to protect the vulnerable.”

- for suffering is such a part

I am SO delighted by this scene where Zevran gets to participate in Dalish culture and storytelling, while bonding with his companions in a way that invites his natural curiosity and cleverness and creativity!!

I knew early on that I wanted to incorporate The Rowan Grove in fsisap somehow. It's one of my favorite codex entries, but it always felta bit dissonant when I considered it along with what we know of Dalish culture; so I wrote an entire scene where characters share the story in various iterations, and have a discussion about its meaning.

The added layer to it of course is metaphorical. Zevran is in many ways the central character from that tale. The comparison comes up again in later chapters.

It's an allegory on various levels, and I personally love allegorical tales. They're a great way to dig deep into a character and world. :)

[reginarubie]

Kissed by Fire ~ Kissed by Steel 1: What inspired you to write the fic this way? 2: Which scene did you put on first? 3: What is your favorite plot? 4: What's your favorite line of dialogue? 5: Which part was hardest to write? 6: What is your fic special or different from all your other fics? 7: Where did the title come from? 8: Did any real person or event inspire any part of this? 9: Was there an alternate version of this fic? 10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story? 11: What do you like most about this fic? 12: What do you like least about this fic? 13: What song did you hear that made you want to write this story? Or if you haven't heard anything yet, what do you think readers should hear to keep us reading? 14: Is there anything you would like readers to learn from reading this fic? 15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

Hi nonny,

These are very throughout, I hope I manage to satisfy you on all of them!

I was inspired by some friends here on tumblr who were all like, “you like Aemond, you like Sansa, why don’t you write a fic about them?” and by that time there were very few fics about them so I thought “why not?”. About writing it that way, the thing about me is that I go “braccio” which is that usually I go with the flow, this way it felt best, it felt the most plausible.

What scene did I put in first… this is kind of hard, because I don’t usually put scenes down. I imagine them though, and the first few I imagined were: how Sansa was pushed back in time, so the prologue; Sansa waking up and Aemond telling her that he would show her his scar because he had seen hers.

I think I have a few favorite plots: AemondSa being the first one for how it’s going to play out, close second Daeron/Symon and last… well I won’t tell because it’d be spoilerish 😉.

My favorite line of dialogue … I think this one is hard, but I think the whole convo between Aemond and Sansa after she managed to be naturalised as a Whent. “I told you I could not tell you everything, told you I was willing to work beside you. I did not work behind your back, I did what I had to do to ensure your family came off clean from this. Lord Strong has no lawful way to pursue me anymore and it’s not any of yours fault!” she said “that was the goal and I reached it. If this is not enough for you to believe me, then what are we talking about?” Aemond let his hands fall at his sides “I don’t know” he said at last “what are we even talking about?” Why do I love this convo so much, you may ask, it’s because it’s a relationship cracking under pressure, like coal becoming diamond under pressure. It was part of their journey, and it was so overwhelmingly real to me that made it one of my favorites convos in the entire series.

I think the hardest are Rhaenyra’ chapters because I feel out of place in her mind, but on the all the most taxing one to write was Rhaenycent cold end.

This story is special to me, if confronted with others, because it’s the first one I have written about a time-travel plot and the first one I have felt the need to expand creating a whole AU universe.

The title actually comes from a poll I opened, the idea was because Sansa is kissed by fire for her hair and Aemond is kissed by steel because of his scar, plus Aemond kisses Sansa and represents fire whilst instead Sansa represents steel. Instead, the subtitles usually come from songs that inspired me during the writing.

Not really. Though some of the relationships dynamics I have seen in my life seep through the writing at times. I think a bit of my own sarcastic sassiness seeps at times in the characters, but that’s mostly it, really.

Is there an alternate version?, not that I know of, not written by me. 🤔 though perhaps there will be in future, whose to say?

This pairing sort of was suggested by @sansaissteel and @maddiethefashionista and I kind of became hooked, it made sense for the time-travel plot and I thought that if Sansa was pushed in that time Aemond would be the one to whom she’d naturally shift her attention and love.

I like the most how many great characters I could explore and how many interesting dynamics. I think I love especially — beyond the AemondSa and the way it weaves with Sansa’ original timeline — the Starks of that time and little Celia and the Royces.

I like the least the character of Lord Strong. But not much anything else.

I actually have a Spotify playlist (which I’ll link down below) though not all songs I listen to are there — I have been a bit remiss on updating it tbh — and tbh, the songs I use in the edits are pretty much the song I listened to on repeat when I wrote that particular chapter.

Oh, I did not start to write this to teach readers anything, but I think I’d like them to put their attention to the way the dynamics shift and the way characters can have or not redeeming arcs or qualities if treated correctly and mostly how to be able to set boundaries and learn to work together as a team which is what Aemond and Sansa are currently doing.

What I learned? I like the way the dynamics between Daeron and his brothers and between the Targtower siblings is flawed but still good, I think I learned much more about my own dynamic with my sibling than I consciously knew by writing these complex siblings dynamics.

I think that’s all! Hope you enjoyed and thank you for showing so much interest in me and the story!

Firesteel instrumental playlist

Firesteel playlist