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princess-leaorgana · 6 months ago

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What Tieflings Do Chptr 7

Summary: After the takedown of The Absolute, Zelphie finds her city in need of more help and her home destroyed. She won't stop helping, but who can help her?

Rolan x Tav (Zelphie; ~30y.o AFAB, Sorcerer, Tiefling, not really described physically on purpose <3)

M/F

Author's Note: I fucking love tielfings. Along with this being a budding romance/smut/fluff/word vomit fanfiction, it's also my case study in DnD 5e tieflings, how they act, what sets them apart from humans and devils and elves. That being said, I have a few artistic liberties in here as well where I couldn't find a straight answer, if you'll amuse me.

Warnings - Spoilers for Baldur's Gate 3, Smut in this chapter, tiefling racism, little bit of angst

Chapter One Two Three Four Five Six

‘Come in.’

Rolan’s study was his little hideaway. Although Zelphie loved being invited there, when she was not, she meant to keep her distance. She meant to give him his privacy, for his studies and experiments were very important to him. However, she had just received an urgent message from Duke Florrick, Zelphie was needed for an expedition to The Cloakwood. This wasn’t the first of these she had been on, Scouts from the Flaming Fist were given a task and Zelphie was given the role of protecting them. Not usually did they run into any issues, but once anyone knew the person escorting the Fist was the person who defeated an Elderbrain and The Dead Three’s Chosen, they never attempted to put up a fight. Zelphie was usually just a bluff. She would report by morning and as the day was already late, so she would have to interrupt him. She opened the door and found him standing, hunched over a desk, dissecting something. She didn’t want to know. He glanced up at her and smiled.

‘Hello you,’ he said and looked back down at his work. She smiled back to him and walked over to his desk to place the letter down, her eyes shifting away from his experiment.

‘Good evening, I miss you,’ she said and Rolan picked up the letter she had placed down and removed a pair of magnifying spectacles from his face. ‘Duke Florrick is sending me on a two day trip to Cloakwood tomorrow. Should be easy, I’ve been there with the Fist before, normal delivery. Mostly walking,’ she said and Rolan read the letter. He glanced up at her when he finished.

‘And you told her no?’ He asked, handing her the letter back. Zelphie frowned and shook her head.

‘Of course not, why would I pass this up?’ She asked him, as if it was an illogical question. It was, as Rolan would always be, perfectly logical. Zelphie wasn’t incredibly well. In fact, she had an appointment with a home visit nurse the next day, which would have to be canceled if she went on this trip. She was also ill, and had been for about a week. She was incredibly tired and would get sick twice a day. She had no fever and had a great appetite. Rolan knew exactly what was wrong with her, and truth be told he was having a hard time with it. Zelphie assumed what was going on but neither of them were talking about it. Any person could see, along with her physical symptoms and her trigger happy sensitivity, that Zelphie was pregnant. Lia and Cal were tip toeing around the subject as well. It would also explain her weight gain, everything fit perfectly into the puzzle. So, naturally, Rolan was not happy for her to go.

‘Because, as lovely as the Flaming Fist are, you are more important than them,’ he told her simply. ‘You are not strong enough right now, my darling,’ he told her and she scowled, pointing her finger at a battle dummy, striking it with a bolt of lightning. The dummy was left singed and toppled over. Rolan frowned, understanding her point instantly. ‘I didn’t mean like that. You know I didn’t. These last few weeks, your magic has been incredibly powerful-‘

‘Then what did you mean?’ She asked him quickly and he sighed.

‘Powerful magic, plus the inability to control it and a weakened body doesn’t make you strong,’ he told her quickly. ‘It makes you weak, you are weak right now, not only could you get hurt, you would do a disservice to the Fist.’ Zelphie crossed her arms, fuming. ‘There are plenty of mercenaries out there who can help while we find out how to make you better,’ he told her and placed his spectacles back on the bridge of his nose.

‘You cannot forbid me to go,’ she told him stubbornly and he nodded.

‘You are correct, but I can wish it. I will be incredibly unhappy if you go, and I may insist on coming with you,’ he told her. It was strange how they had flipped their conversation as of late. Zelphie was now the hot head and Rolan had learned to control his anger, he did it only for Zelphie. Everyone else bore the brunt of it. Poor Cal. ‘I will write to Florrick on your behalf, if you are feeling guilty, I know that’s why you are upset,’ he told her and she huffed. He was right, and that was annoying. This wasn’t an incredibly important journey, any ranger in the city could assist. Zelphie still felt like she owed her city something. He glanced up at her, waiting for her argument. She didn’t have one. She just didn’t like him telling her what to do. He was absolutely correct, but she was struggling to accept that. ‘I will write to Florrick,’ he settled and went back to his work. Zelphie stomped her foot and turned around to leave. ‘I love you,’ Rolan called and she grumbled back at him. She wanted to hit him.

He was right, she had no right putting herself and others in danger. But what was the point of her anymore if she wasn’t to do anything? Besides a little check-up the next day, she had nothing. She could easily have stayed in Rolan’s office and either helped or learned something, but she was in a terrible mood. So, she would do what her body was telling her, go and eat.

Lia was in the kitchen, apparently having the same idea as Zelphie, she was picking at some sort of leg, probably a cow. Lia turned and looked at her, sucking something off of her thumb.

‘You look pissed,’ she said bluntly and Zelphie walked to the ice box and rummaged. She wanted something sour.

‘Because I am,’ she said back and Lia sighed.

‘When is your appointment again? Please tell me it’s in two minutes,’ she said and rolled her eyes and Zelphie shot a look at her. She slammed the ice box door and walked out of the kitchen and headed to the main living area. She should have gone to her room, since her mood was only getting worse, but that’s where she stomped off to. She sat on a large sofa and crossed her arms, angry as a toddler before their nap. Lajy wandered into the room, his tail up and curled over and he hustled to his mother. He always had impeccable timing. Zelphie broke down into tears and opened her arms for the cat, who purred in her lap and rubbed himself on her furiously. He was a lovely boy, terribly cuddly when he was needed.

‘You’re on my side, aren’t you Lajy?’ She asked the cat and she cried, rubbing his head. She laid on her side and cuddled him, crying and listening to him purr. ‘You don’t hate me, do you?’ She asked and the cat butted her head with his and she kissed his forehead. She just let herself cry and be comforted by the cat, looking down at her hand, rubbing her emerald for comfort. She knew deep down no one in the tower hated her. She was being very hard to live with. Still, for the past dozen days, Zelphie was no longer privy to the intelligent part of her brain. Only paranoid, raw emotions. She wasn’t alone for very long before Rolan appeared in the living room. She closed her eyes, refusing to look at him. She felt him walk over, his heavy robes making a low swishing sound with every footstep. He knelt down in front of her and placed a gentle hand on her head.

‘Would you enjoy a little fresh air with me?’ He asked her and she sniffed and opened her eyes. He looked so tired, but he was smiling at her.

‘Are you going for a walk?’ She asked him and he nodded.

‘I need to clear my head and air out my office. I hoped you would want to join me,’ he told her, knowing the exact right thing to say. She kissed Lajy’s head, still crying a little.

‘Come little one, walk with mummy and daddy,’ she said and Rolan’s smile grew. He stood up and helped her up. She hugged him tight as soon as she was up and she felt his arms around her. ‘I love you too, Rolan,’ she said and he laughed lightly and kissed her forehead.

The day went on like normal, Rolan did go back to his studies, but Zelphie felt better and had a cup of tea with Lia. The sisters teased each other and Lia got a little game going to try to see how many times she could make Zelphie laugh before Zelphie would either cry, lose control of her bladder, or at least fall over. Losing control of her bladder went first, and Zelphie excused herself for the night.

In the morning, for her appointment Zelphie dressed in a light wrap dress for the cleric’s ease. Rolan brought the cleric up to their bedroom to inspect Zelphie. He genuinely hated bringing strangers up this far in the tower, but it was a medical necessity, he would allow it for Zelphie’s privacy. The cleric was an older woman, a human, which made Zelphie a little uncomfortable, but the woman was kind and soft.

‘Your husband told me all of your symptoms the other day, and normally I make my visits fast, but after we spoke, I really don’t think this is much of an emergency,’ she explained and placed her bag on the bed. ‘Go on and lay down for me,’ she said and Zelphie did as she was told. Rolan walked closer but attempted to stay out of the way. ‘Master Rolan says you are tired, emotional, you're up sick a lot?’ She asked and Zelphie nodded.

‘Yes,’ she said simply and the cleric laid both of her hands on Zelphie’s stomach and pressed gently. The woman smiled and closed her eyes. Zelphie instantly felt warm and a faint yellow glow appeared by the woman’s fingers and on Zelphie’s stomach. The glow and warmth went away after a moment and the woman laughed a little. ‘I don’t know you from the freckles on my elbow, but my guess is that this is your first, sweetie,’ she said softly. ‘You can get up now, we’re done here,’ she said and Zelphie frowned. She got up and looked at Rolan. ‘Actually, why don’t you two take a seat,’ she said and Rolan sat next to Zelphie and took her hand. Once all was settled, the woman clasped her hands together. ‘It’s my honor to tell you that you have a wee one on the way.’ Zelphie’s mind went blank. Rolan was looking down at her, the woman was still speaking, but she couldn’t get past that. A baby. A wee one. She was pregnant. How could that be? She couldn’t be a mother. No, not her. Lajy was her baby, not an actual baby. How could she have a baby?

The poor cleric was still speaking, but Zelphie wasn’t understanding anything. She placed a hand on her belly and looked over at Rolan, who was just staring at her. She couldn’t really read his face, his eye contact was intense and his jaw was a little tight. He looked as though he was going to pop. He looked back at the cleric and responded to a question she had asked, but Zelphie kept looking at him, at his profile. His strong brow, his sharp jaw, the way his fangs caught the light as he spoke. He was going to be a father, a father to her child. Not just any baby, hers. He had gotten her pregnant. She would make him a father. Rolan stood up and Zelphie blinked, taken out of her trance.

‘Well, this will be my most pleasant visit today, that is for certain,’ she said as Rolan walked her out.

‘I don’t think I could use those same words myself, your visit today was nothing short of a miracle. A visit for a lifetime, thank you,’ he said and the cleric left, quicker than she had come. With that little visit, Zelphie’s whole world had changed. The door to their bedroom shut and Rolan turned around. Zelphie stood off of the bed and walked over to him and he held up a hand to stop her. She stopped and was nervous. He walked over to her. ‘No more walking for you,’ he said and very quickly and with little effort, he scooped Zelphie up, cradling her and walking her right back to bed. She squeaked as she was lifted suddenly.

‘Rolan!’ She squealed and he placed her on the bed, but before anything else, he kissed her. He was happy. She was very happy but had almost forgotten about Rolan. She didn’t know if he wanted children, he had never seemed like a man who liked children. Though, that was a shallow thought. Rolan was a hero to all of the refuge tiefling children in Baldur’s Gate. It was he who saved all of them in the Shadowfell. He was obviously a family man, but a man who would coo over a little baby? She wasn’t so sure. A man who wanted a little one? She had no idea. Now she had some kind of feeling he might have wanted that. She wrapped her arms around his neck and laughed into their kiss.

‘Oh my darling, my love,’ he muttered, kissing her. ‘I can’t believe this, I knew it, but I still can’t believe it,’ he said, his voice shaking. She pulled away and placed her hands on his face. His face contorted and he sobbed. ‘I never ever thought this would be my life,’ he said through tears and hers followed immediately. ‘Thank you, thank you,’ he placed his forehead onto hers and she laughed as she cried.

‘Oh Rolan, I’m so happy. You really want a child? A little snotty baby that will grow into a grubby little toddler?’ She asked and his wavered smile just grew. He nodded.

‘If that child is my child with my Zelphie, by gods yes,’ he said and sniffed and she kissed him once more. Their lips crash together, all of their emotions coming out physically. As they kissed, Zelphie’s legs hooked around Rolan’s. Rolan sat up and with ease of his forefinger, unwrapped Zelphie’s dress. She bit her lip and looked up at him, but he was looking at her body. He placed his hand where the cleric had and Zelphie grinned. ‘Is she here?’ He asked softly, his voice shaking. She. Zelphie sniffed and took his hand and moved it down, under her navel. ‘Right, right, that makes sense,’ he said and leaned down. He kissed her skin and Zelphie could have melted. ‘Hello in there,’ he whispered and Zelphie was a puddle, crying again. This was a wonderful moment. She’d never been happier, not for a long, long time.

‘Oh Rolan,’ she said softly and ran her hand through his hair, but he wasn’t done talking to the hard little spot under her navel.

‘I hope you can hear me, you and I need to have a little chat. Listen, you’ve been making your mother an emotional wreck, and I won’t tolerate that kind of behavior in this home,’ he went off and Zelphie screamed a laugh. Rolan felt silly doing it, which was not something he ever liked doing, but it made her laugh. ‘You’ll behave or I promise I will come in there,’ he said and that sent Zelphie over the edge. She kicked, her tears now from the uncontrollable laughter.

‘Rolan! Stop!’ She begged through tears and laughter. He chuckled and crawled back up to her and kissed her neck, tickling her. ‘Rolan!’ She squealed and he lifted his head enough to speak into her ear.

‘I love you,’ he said and she wrapped her arms around him.

‘I love you more,’ she told him, and he nipped at her earlobe and she sighed happily. ‘Mmmm…when you bite me, it’s like a little brand, right?’ She asked and he hummed in response, nipping and kissing her skin. ‘And you always make sure it’s in an area I can hide, like my thigh or my back or my bum,’ she said and he hummed again. ‘Pretty soon, one of your little marks will be very hard to hide,’ she told him playfully and he lifted her head to look at her properly. ‘The baby,’ she explained and Rolan leaned down and kissed her lips. The baby would grow and it would become very obvious to everyone around. Zelphie was very happy about it, but Rolan would be warned that proof of their sex life was about to be public. Clearly, he didn’t care. She felt his finger loop around her underwear and pull on them gently. Zelphie lifted her hips so he could remove them. He kissed down her neck and she purred loudly for him. She was stupidly happy, delirious with joy.

‘Oh,’ she cooed as she felt Rolan’s fingers in her middle. He was delicate with his fingers, careful of his claw as his forefinger stroked her. She was incredibly sensitive. That was just fine with Rolan. Her hips pushed against his fingers a little and she felt his fangs digging into her collarbone. She hissed and her hips bucked again. Her tail curled up between his legs and rubbed up against him. She cursed his robes, he always had to dress so well. He moaned softly but continued his work, stimulating her clit, and making a mess of her collarbone. She ground her hips and he chuckled.

‘Don’t you tell me you’re already so undone,’ he muttered and tutted playfully. She rubbed herself against him, begging for more. ‘My darling is soaking, is that what I do to you, hm?’

‘Yes Rolan, you ruin me,’ she whimpered. She was desperate. The phenomenal news was coursing through her and evolving into pure instinct. His dominance, taking complete control over her and the situation. She was turned on more than she could remember ever being. She was so in love with Rolan, but the added situation that he had impregnated her was scratching an itch she didn’t know she had. She always felt a flutter when Rolan showed off his power, magical and physical, but this? She’d never thought of him more powerful. It took two to make a baby, but in one action, Rolan changed her life for good. Forever.

‘Let us just see how sensitive my little wife is,’ he said and she whimpered. ‘Shhhh…no need to beg, I’m here,’ he said and kissed down her torso. She opened her eyes and looked down at him. He was so beautiful. She was hyper focused on his face as she breathed through the warm sensation she was feeling. His eyes flashed to hers as he lowered his face to her middle. She felt light headed. He ran his tongue firmly from her hole to her clitoris and her eyes rolled back into her heat. Just hearing him licking her, up and down, was sending her over the edge. Her tail was coiled tightly around his upper thigh. ‘So needy,’ he muttered, holding her thighs down and open for him. She sighed, as if gasped for air. She was terribly close.

‘Oh gods dammit,’ she muttered. That familiar tingle in her toes, a warmth rushed over her. He was barely doing a damn thing. His hands on her thigh refused to move as she attempted to writhe her hips and the legs. He did make sure now to just give her clot attention, his warm breath quick as his tongue. She wanted it but she was a little angry he had gotten her so quickly. ‘Rolan,’ she whimpered and grabbed one of his horns to brace herself, as he pinned her to the bed. Warm, wet ecstasy ran through her, gushing from her. Normally, Rolan would slow down, allowing her to ride out her orgasm, but his new ego wasn’t going to let her go. She kicked as he kept going. His one hand was holding down on her mound, making sure she didn’t slip from him, spreading her lips as he tormented her.

‘Relax,’ he whispered, not removing his mouth from her. Her hips bucked and she howled, her hips bucking, and he laughed.

‘Ro,’ she whimpered. He finally let her go and her body convulsed. Electricity shot out of her fingertips, little sparks and Rolan growled happily.

‘Beautiful, that’s my girl,’ he sat up and wiped his face. She caught her breath and he laughed again. ‘What a mess,’ he tutted and she felt the burn marks she had left on the sheets. She felt guilt, but her euphoria was so much higher. She caught her breath and he gently traced her thigh with his claw, making her shiver and twitch.

‘Rolan,’ she whimpered and he smiled. ‘Damn you,’ she said and he smirked. She placed her hand on her forehead. He just watched her, watched his work, reveling in what he had done to Zelphie. She looked up at him and tilted her head at him. ‘Are you going to make a mess with me?’ She asked. He was fully dressed, his hair was a little messier than before. He grinned and tilted his head back.

‘What do you mean by that?’ He asked her, his voice so soft and low. She pouted up at him. He laughed again. ‘Was that not enough?’ He asked her and got up on her elbows.

‘Are you going to make me beg? Me? Your pregnant wife?’ She asked and Rolan’s face fell. He cleared his throat and regained his composure. He knew she was guilting him, but the phrase his pregnant wife stopped his heart. He took her hand and leaned over to kiss it. Zelphie pulled his hand. She wanted to kiss him. She got what she wanted. His lips crashed to hers and she got her hand wedged between their bodies, finding his erection through his robes. He sighed softly into her mouth. He sat up a little, fussing with his robes, pushing them up enough so he could quickly enter her. Zelphie gasped, not thinking he wouldn’t even get undressed. He thrusted quickly, watching her bounce under him. ‘Fuck, fuck,’ she cried and Rolan placed his forehead on hers and she bit her bottom lip, keeping eye contact with him. ‘I love you, I love you,’ she whispered and he groaned, quickening his pace. This was perfect for her, Rolan selfishly rutting on her. He had the length, the girth and the texture of a teifling, so it felt incredible, but she liked it when he acted like this. Desperate, untamed. She couldn’t explain it, but him fucking her, desperate for an orgasm, for a release, it excited her to no end. The sounds he made, the way he held her, his claws in her hips. She could smell him. She closed her eyes and she felt his hand on her neck.

‘Look at me,’ he said, his voice gruff. Her orange eyes opened to see his yellow ones looking right back. His brows were knitted together in concentration. She kept eye contact until his eyes shut.

‘I love you,’ she told him, knowing he was close. ‘I love you, Rolan,’ she moaned and kissed his neck. His hand on her hip and his hand on her neck tightened. A guttural moan and shiver came from him and after two hard thrusts, he slowed dramatically. She leaned up to kiss him and he kissed her back, softly, he was spent. She giggled and rubbed her legs against his. He peppered her face with little kisses and she continued to giggle.

‘All mine, mine, mine,’ he whispered and she nuzzled her nose to his.

‘No, mine,’ she said and caught his lips once more. He sat up with a groan and gave her backside a little pat.

‘Well, now that that is out of my system,’ he said and she laughed. He looked her over as he pulled his robes back down to cover himself again. ‘You and I have some planning and chatting to do,’ he said and she sat up with him, covering herself up.

‘Oh? Chatting about what?’ She asked him and reached over to fix a lock of his hair.

‘About you, and myself, we’re going to need to change how things are run here, certainly. I can have you in the shop still, but…’ he began and she frowned. Uhoh. ‘No more…excursions,’ he told her, it was a kind request, or demand, but Zelphie did frown. ‘I don’t want to argue about this, so please, let me explain myself. I’m not trying to control you, although, truly, sometimes I wish I could,’ he expressed and her brows furrowed. ‘But…you cannot be, you and I are very different people. You go and you have friends and you have your adventures, and I do love that about you. I love that we are different. You’ve shown me a different way of life. Since we met, you have shown me how to…’ he sighed and shook his head. ‘And I have tried to give you your life. I wish for you to do what you want, be independent, but now…’ Zelphie watched him carefully. Rolan was correct, as controlling and brooding as he was, the homebody, the sage, he did allow her whatever freedoms she wanted. She knew it killed him for her to be gone for days on end. Once or twice she had come back in worse shape than she had left and she knew he hated it. But he, as much as someone like Rolan could, bit his tongue. He had compromised with her every single time, with little arguments every once and a while. ‘I don’t-’ he cleared his throat and held her hands. ‘I don’t want to put you in a box, in a display case, don’t think that’s what I am asking. But…when I don’t know where you are, I can’t breathe,’ he said and rubbed her knuckles. Zelphie’s face softened a little.

‘I used to live worse than this,’ she assured him and he sighed.

‘I know, but that doesn’t mean you should go back. Would you be very happy if I returned to Avernus?’ He asked her quickly and she stared up at him. ‘I survived Avernus, so surely, I can survive everything, is that what you think?’ She shook her head. ‘I’m not saying you are not capable, but if capability meant one hundred percent success every single time…well, that can’t be. You will get hurt, you have gotten hurt. One day, that hurt might…’ he trailed off and chewed his lip. ‘Yesterday, losing you meant a lot of pain for me. And of course Lia and Cal and all of your friends, but I only cared about my pain. Now? Darling, I don’t want for our child what was given to us,’ he said and Zelphie just looked at him. She looked down for a moment. ‘When I picture myself as a parent, I picture myself giving every single thing on this planet I can to my child, would you promise the same?’

‘Of course I do,’ she said and her mind rattled. He was absolutely correct. She was preparing for a little fight, one where she would win, he couldn’t tell her what to do. She was not his caged pet, she was his partner. But his point, like usual, was logical. She was having a baby, making her a mother. Her priorities needed to shift. It wasn’t about her anymore, or even Rolan. She placed her hand on her lower belly. ‘I…you’re right,’ she said softly and she felt Rolan’s lips on her forehead.

‘And don’t think for a moment that I’m excluded in that. My work will take a step back. No longer will I be locked away in my study, all hours of the day, though, I will admit, I do need to take up reading on a subject I have yet to ever read on,’ he said with a chuckle. ‘I’ll be more present, I’ll make you sick of me,’ he told her and she smiled a little.

‘I suppose the man with every script written in Faerun needs to go book shopping,’ she said and he laughed.

‘Indeed,’ he said and rubbed her hand.

‘I promise to…act a bit more like a mother might,’ she said and Rolan shook his head.

‘You already have fantastic maternal instincts,’ he told her and she smiled a little. ‘You are the most loving person I have ever met, giving selfless. The reason you want for your adventures is to help others,’ he explained and she buried her face in his shoulder and he laughed again. ‘Don’t feel like you need to give me any credit either,’ he said as he wrapped his arms around her. Zelphie laughed and shook her head.

‘You know well enough you have much more parental instinct than I do,’ she said and looked up at him. ‘You at least know what family feels like, I’m very new to it, and I only have it because of you,’ she told him and he leaned down to kiss her.

‘And before anything else, there is one more thing I would like to ask you,’ he said and Zelphie just looked up at him. ‘Before you become the only one in this whole tower entitled to ask for anything, of course,‘ he said and she couldn’t help but roll her eyes. ‘Could we tell Cal and Lia?’ He asked and she blinked a few times, waiting for the favor. It never came, that was it. She threw back her head and laughed.

‘Yes! You idiot!’ She laughed and he grinned. She stood up quickly, fixing herself, her linen dress completely ruined by their little romp. He got up with her and helped her and she fixed his cowl. ‘They probably already know,’ she said and the couple walked out hand in hand. Cal and Lia most certainly already knew. Everyone knew. Zelphie knew very well, as did Rolan. They knew about her appointment, and were waiting impatiently in the sitting room. Lia had her arms crossed and was pacing. Cal was staring out a window. They both swiveled to Rolan and Zelphie’s attention when they entered. Cal hurried right over, his eyes darting between his brother and sister-in-law.

‘Well?’ He asked and Zelphie’s heart beat quickly. Zelphie looked up at Rolan. She was going to burst, but they were his siblings. He would have the honors. Rolan smiled and looked down at Zelphie and then over to his brother and sister. He opened his mouth to speak, but Lia jumped in.

‘YOU’RE PREGNANT!’ She shouted and put her hands over her mouth. Usually Lia was boisterous, but that had clearly been an exciting accident. Thank goodness she had been correct.

‘Yes, thank you, Lia,’ Rolan said, his face falling into an annoyed frown. Lia enveloped her brother into a hug quickly and Rolan hugged her back. Zelphie watched the pair before she got her own hug, a big one from Cal. Zelphie hugged him back.

‘Thank you for making me an uncle,’ he said happily and Lia squealed, hugging Rolan tighter and he groaned.

‘Aunt Lia and Uncle Cal! Oh! And mommy and daddy, oh I can not believe it!’ She squealed and kissed Rolan’s cheeks. Rolan got out of her hug and pushed her away gently.

‘Would you give me a little room for air?’ He asked his sister, who just took to hugging Zelphie. Zelphie welcomed the hugs and kisses and Cal hugged Rolan. Zelphie just hugged Lia tight.

‘Good thing you two didn’t have a wedding, saves money for baby, oh I’m so excited! When? How far along are you? Oh! Are you feeling alright? You should sit,’ Lia rambled and Zelphie laughed.

‘I don’t know, I didn’t ask, it feels early though,’ she said as Lia pulled her to sit on the couch. ‘But I’m fine, a little tired, but fine. Not like I thought it would be,’ she said and looked up at Rolan, who was just beaming.

‘I’ll go get something bubbly from the kitchen,’ Cal said and then faltered a little. ‘Oh, uhm…can..c-can you have something bubbly?’ He asked and Zelphie grinned.

‘No, no she can’t,’ Rolan said and Zelphie huffed. Rolan looked down at her. ‘And I won’t either,’ he said before she could argue. Lia sat with Zelphie and put a hand in hers.

‘Then none of us will, it’s fine,’ she said and squeezed Zelphie’s hand.

‘You three are absolutely too much,’ Zelphie sighed. She was incredibly lucky.

For the next few days, Zelphie and Rolan could be called obsessed with their new journey. Rolan spent a lot of money on not only items for the baby, but many things for Zelphie as well, different potions and foods and drinks and oils for her to keep strong, happy and healthy. If Zelphie had thought he was overbearing before, she’d never thought about him like this. A lot of it was too much for her to deal with, hovering over her like a hawk, giving her unwanted advice over everything, like he usually was but harder. Though, it came with a lot of perks, like taking care of her and being around more often. Rolan’s sexual appetite was still alive and well, but he was so much softer and caring. He was very caring, nurturing to Zelphie, taking care of her in the bath, rubbing her back and staying by her side when she was sick, massaging her before bed, all of it. She certainly wouldn’t complain as she was pampered.

A hot afternoon hit Baldur’s Gate as Zelphie was obsessing over what was her previous room. She had used the room for about twenty days in total before sharing a bedroom with Rolan, now it was just a room for her privacy. It went unused mostly. Zelphie was now found here most of the time. Lajy was with her as she was tending to a little garden area on the balcony. Tiefling babies had a very careful diet, and Zelphie was very happy to grow herbs and vegetables to help with the little ones’ diet and health. Six months wasn’t the longest time to plan. In the corner of the bedroom, Zelphie’s mage hands were knitting a yellow blanket. She was also very happy to make things for the little one, where Rolan would purchase. Some things Zelphie couldn’t make, but a few pillows and blankets and nappies were doable. A knock on the door and Zelphie stood up to see Lia in the doorway.

‘Hey, I was hoping we could go for a walk?’ Lia suggested and Zelphie smiled and nodded.

‘I would love that, all done for today?’ She asked and wiped her hands of dirt and Lia nodded.

‘Yes, and the last couple that came in did me in, they were bitching about every single thing in the world, I need to cool off,’ she said and Zelphie grinned.

‘Did you bite their heads off?’ She asked, removing her apron and Lia laughed.

‘You know I’ll get in trouble, so I just gave them to Cal and walked away,’ she said and Zelphie snickered.

‘Oh, and I’m sure they’re in love with him now,’ she said and Lia nodded. The two left the tower and began their walk down the Upper City.

‘I could have scratched their eyes out!’ Lia was still going on about the older couple who had come into the shop. Zelphie was just letting her rant, that was all that was needed. Zelphie worked with the public before and had her share of stories about problem customers. Though, some of her problem customers would have been abusers, so Zelphie would keep those stories to herself. She never told Cal and Lia about her previous work, before the kidnapping. She had barely mentioned it to Rolan once and he almost lost it.

‘Maybe one of these days you should, what did they even want?’ Zelphie asked, getting a little distracted with the smell of food in the marketplace. Her tail curled up a little.

‘I couldn’t tell you if I tried, it was as if every single time they asked a question and I answered them, they were looking for something completely new! It was awful, I’m working the counter tomorrow, fuck Rolan’s unperson,’ she said and Zelphie snorted.

‘Hellspawn!’

From the crowded rows of people, a few onlookers decided to take time out of their day to terrorize the tieflings. Rocks were thrown at their feet. Normally, Zelphie wouldn’t leave the Upper City for this reason, though racism was strong in all of Baldur’s Gate, the Upper City residents usually never shouted or got violent. They were not kind, but never violent. Today was different, for some reason. Lia wiped her head to find two men, calling at them, more putrid words of hate. Lia reached down for the thrown stones but Zelphie held her back.

‘Lia! No, no no, come on, leave it,’ she begged, pulling in Lia. Lia resisted, always in the mood for a fight, but after stress from work, she was like a time bomb.

‘I’ll show you Hellspawn!’ She shouted back at them.

‘Lia! Stop! Don’t fight back,’ Zelphie begged. Normally, Zelphie would live to fight back, but it was common knowledge that if either one of them got into a public fight, they would be arrested. Tieflings just weren’t welcome anywhere. ‘Think of your brother,’ she said and Lia put her hand down, dropping the rock. ‘Thank you, come on, come on, let’s find something to drink,’ she said and pulled Lia from the crowd. Lia grumbled and Zelphie held her close as they walked. ‘I know, trust me, I know,’ she said.

‘Fucking two tieflings saving the goddamned world wasn’t enough for those people?’ Lia went on, she sounded like she was going to cry. Zelphie laughed.

‘Unfortunately, one of those tieflings took her tiefling family and gave them the best real estate in the city. That on its own is a crime. They only mourn Karlach because she died. A dead tiefling is a behaved tiefling,’ Zelphie went on and Lia sighed. ‘For your brother’s sake, we really have to behave. His ownership of the tower can very well be easily contended, don’t give them any excuse, Lia,’ she said and walked Lia into a beautiful tavern, the Vicor, to try and steal her nerves. Zelphie wasn’t doing too well either, she was very easily rattled lately, so this little hide was for both her and Lia.

‘I’m doing it for your sake,’ Lia said as they sat down. ‘I don’t give a rat’s ass about the tower,’ she grumbled and Zelphie shook her head.

‘Liar,’ she said and Lia huffed. ‘I mean it, the tower means everything to all of us. It’s safety. It’s growth, literally. You’d be very upset if you couldn’t live there anymore, I know that,’ she said as a barmaid walked over. Zelphie ordered water and lemon and Lia ordered an ale.

‘I’d rather no one throw rocks at us in the street,’ she hissed and Zelphie nodded.

‘I like to think once my belly gets a little bigger they might stop…but I doubt it,’ Zelphie said and reached over for Lia’s hand. ‘Might get worse…I never used to get that around here though,’ she muttered and Lia nodded.

‘Maybe there really is no place for us,’ Lia grumbled.

The two settled over a drink. Lia went back to complaining about her work, and then the topic lightened to talk about the baby. Lia was very excited. She was convinced all of her normal anger would manifest into love for the new little one. Lia asked twice if it was already kicking, which sent Zelphie into a fit of giggles each time. Of course not, two months would not a kicking baby make. Zelphie paid and left extra, to Lia’s annoyance, but Zelphie would always do it. Maybe one day it would soften the hearts of Baldur’s Gate to tieflings. At least the privileged ones. They continued their walk, and were heading home when Zelphie noticed a little something odd. A newspaper hawker was shouting out a headline, something about a new guest from Neverwinter. Zelphie walked over to the young boy, who immediately stopped his little performance.

‘Oh, ah…you want a paper, miss?’ He asked and Zelphie smiled.

‘Absolutely, I can’t believe I didn’t know about some dignitary visit,’ she said and handed the little one a gold piece.

‘Oh, well, I uhm…you aren’t one of those tiefling wizards, are you?’ The boy asked and Zelphie frowned. ‘From the tower?’ He asked and Zelphie nodded.

‘Yes I am,’ Zelphie said and the boy frowned.

‘You shouldn’t buy this paper, miss,’ he said softly. ‘They didn’t write anything good about you in it,’ he said and Lia laughed.

‘Oh! Finally, a paper that doesn’t mention Zelphie’s heroism, Baldur’s Gate is healing,’ she said and Zelphie looked at Lia.

‘I don’t think that’s what he meant,’ she said and looked back down, holding her hand out. ‘I’ll take my paper, please,’ she said and the boy gave her the paper.

‘Just don’t be angry with me, they just pay me to sell it,’ he said and Zelphie nodded and she and Lia walked a little. Zelphie began to read through the paper, skimming until the third page.

‘Oh for fucks sake,’ she muttered and pulled onto Lia’s hand so they could hustle back to the tower. ‘This is why those brutes felt so bold earlier,’ Zelphie muttered, handing Lia the paper. The two entered the tower quickly, brushing past the entrance and there he was. The paper had an article from a guest writer, a writer who wanted Rolan and his family removed from Ramazith’s Tower. The writer had a few opinions on Rolan, one being he was a brutal homicidal maniac who killed Lorroakan in cold blood, for no other reason than his infernal blood. Tieflings were never lucky, tieflings did not rise to the top, clearly, this was devil work.

Rolan didn’t look up at his sister or wife when they entered. He had read the paper, Zelphie could tell. He was staring at the floor, his hands behind his back. Zelphie walked over to him and reached out for him.

‘Ro,’ she whispered and he slowly looked her in the eye. ‘Ro, it doesn’t matter,’ she told him and he shook his head, looking back down at the ground.

‘When will we ever be safe?’ He asked her softly. ‘I’ve put a target on our backs,’ he continued and Zelphie shook her head.

‘It’s one person out of thousands, please, Rolan, don’t think like that. We are incredibly safe, because of you,’ she told him, placing a hand on his cheek. ‘No one can come here, no one, me and Lia and Cal are safe because of you. And we have the power of the Council on our side, Rolan. They can’t take this from us,’ she continued, but knew there would be nothing that could put him at ease. The truth was, Rolan, along with others including Zelphie, had murdered the rightful owner of the tower. Rolan did not have any right to claim this historical building, other than he defeated its master.

‘That won’t stop a revolution in the streets,’ Rolan said and Zelphie frowned.

‘It will, I will write to Duke Ravengard, he will fix this,’ she told him and that seemed to irritate him.

‘He can’t just keep being our hero, Zelphie,’ he snapped. ‘I broke it, I must fix it,’ he argued and she scowled.

‘No Rolan! You can’t keep thinking that this is Elturel or Avernus, we live in a community now. A thriving community,’ she argued back. ‘Sometimes you are entitled to being helped,’ she told him and he sighed.

‘Zelphie is right, Rolan. You can help this family by asking for help. This isn’t going to be solved with the four of us alone. When Zelphie and I were on our walk, these two men-‘ Zelphie whipped around and hushed Lia. Rolan looked up at Lia and his brows knitted together.

‘What?’ He asked and Zelphie sighed.

‘Gods dammit, Lia,’ she scowled, but Lia continued.

‘They were shouting at us and were throwing rocks, I’m sure this article had something to do with it,’ Lia said and Zelphie glared at her. She didn’t enjoy keeping things from Rolan, but he was already in a state, she would eventually tell him. Eventually.

‘Who was this?’ He asked quickly and Lia shrugged.

‘Just two men, trust me, I tried to fight back, but Zelphie refused. Good thing too, as it might have proven this writer’s point,’ she sighed and Rolan looked down at Zelphie.

‘Are you hurt?’ He asked and she shook her head.

‘No, they had bad aim,’ she said and Lia laughed. ‘It’s not the worst thing someone has hurled at me,’ she reassured Rolan, who was not very reassured. He sighed, but he nodded and looked back down at the floor. Zelphie looked at the spot he was staring at. She knew that spot very well. It was the last place his old master had been, where his corpse had lain. Her hand left his cheek and she took his hand. She didn’t know what to say to him as he reached up and rubbed his temple.

‘I need…to think,’ he said and looked at Zelphie, who frowned but nodded.

‘Call for me if you need me,’ she told him, assuming he would want to be alone. He looked at her in silence for a moment and nodded. ‘I love you,’ she told him and he leaned down to kiss her forehead. He grasped the side of her head tightly as he did so, and it broke her heart when he walked away.

‘He’ll be fine,’ Lia told Zelphie, who just nodded and shook her head.

‘I know, I know, I just hate to see him so upset that he won’t even argue,’ she said and Lia smiled.

‘Sometimes I forget how well you fit into our family,’ she said and Zelphie smiled at her.

Zelphie continued to tend to her little garden after a ‘light’ snack, a whole six ounce slab of beef. Lajy brought her a dead mouse. At least one of them was productive that day. While Zelphie had her fingers in the soil, she felt a little buzzing on her finger. She lifted her hands and stared at her right hand. Her wedding ring was buzzing, humming. She looked at it curiously. Then she heard something. She held her hand close to her pointed ear and listened. The ring, while humming and buzzing, was crying. Crying? How could it be crying? Why was it crying? Why did it sound like Rolan? Zelphie looked at her ring again, just as she did at least once a day, but really inspected it. She waved her left hand over it, trying to see if she could feel whatever magic might be causing this. There was magic, but nothing that Zelphie could recognize. She walked out of her room and the crying got louder. She opened her bedroom door, it was empty. She walked upstairs and heard the crying get louder. It was certainly Rolan. She walked to his study, and the ring got louder. She knocked gently and then opened the door.

‘Rolan?’ She called and walked in. She looked at his desk and saw Rolan hunched over it, sobbing. A half drunk glass of wine beside him. She walked over to him quickly. ‘Oh Rolan, my love,’ she called and wrapped her arms around him. He heaved a loud sob. ‘Oh my darling,’ she muttered and knelt next to him. He had his head buried in his arms. He placed a hand on her shoulder. ‘Hey, hey look at me,’ she told him softly.

‘I-I c-can’t do a damn thing,’ he sobbed and lifted his head. Zelphie hugged him tight and kissed the side of his face. ‘I can’t save us,’ he sobbed into her neck, holding her a little too tightly.

‘Shhh….we are okay, we are okay. You know where I was just a moment ago?’ She asked as he just cried into her shoulder. She felt awful. She had seen him cry to himself twice before, but this was something different. He was devastated and stressed beyond measure. ‘I was tending the baby’s garden, out of the balcony. I couldn’t have been more safe, I was so happy, tending that garden, thinking about all we have, my family. You’ve already made me safe, Rolan. If you didn’t bring me here, if you didn’t love me so much, I’d be selling myself on the streets of the Lower City,’ she told him and he sobbed harder. That was the truth, but she probably should have kept it to herself. ‘My life is so, so much better and safer than it ever was, even before my kidnapping. Because of you and Cal and Lia. So when I see you so upset over my safety, it boggles my mind,’ she told him. She rubbed his back, her heart was truly breaking for him. ‘Oh Rolan, I’m sorry,’ she whispered. She wanted to make him feel happy once more, but whether this alone was truly killing him, or was the last straw in a list of stressors, she knew a few words weren’t going to make him feel better.

She stayed right there, kneeling in front of him, letting him just cry. It was awful, but he needed it, and she wouldn’t stop him. This was her job, to support and cherish him. She was very happy to do everything she could for him, so she would be his handkerchief and diary whenever he needed her. She just rubbed his back and kissed his forehead.

‘Come on, let me get you more comfortable, Rolan,’ she pleaded. This wasn’t comfortable for her, she couldn’t imagine how comfortable he was, hunched over. She got him to his feet and walked him to their bedroom. Their bedroom, amongst all of the chaos these last days have brought, stayed mainly the same with one small additional, a cradle. Well, some of a cradle. Rolan had been working on assembling one with a lot of help from Cal. Rolan wasn’t exactly good with laborious activity, but he was incredibly picky and Cal had to deal with Rolan’s vision while he did the actual labor. It was a little on the massive side, nothing that Zelphie would have chosen personally, but she never gave any negative input. She didn’t mind at all, as long as baby was safe. She loved that he was working so diligently on the cradle, she loved watching him fuss over it.

‘I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I can’t shake this, all of this,’ he said miserably, walking to his side table for a handkerchief and blew his nose loudly into it.

‘Rolan, please don’t apologize, after everything we all went through in this past year, I don’t blame you. When was the last time you cried?’ She asked him. ‘Really cried because of stress?’

‘When Cal and Lia were captured, and then again when I almost died in that godforsaken Shadow curse. Only to be saved by you,’ he told her. Zelphie walked over to him and helped him with his robe. She wanted him in bed, without a care in the outside world. He deserved a good cry, a glass of water and a cuddle.

‘Everyone deserves saving, Rolan, especially you,’ she told him softly.

‘But how am I to ever pay you back for what you have done? How many times did you save my ragged tail since we met?’ He asked, sounding so desperate, as if he wanted her to berate him.

‘As many times as you absolutely needed it. And it wasn’t just me, my love. When Cal and Lia were taken I had…six, SIX other people also helping! And I would have dragged you down into those dungeons with me if you were cursed with a tadpole, I promise,’ she told him and reached up to hold his face. ‘You’re damned powerful, especially when you are angry. But we couldn’t bring Halsin or Jaheira there for a reason.’

‘And Lorroakan…’ his voice cracked and Zelphie shouted a laugh.

‘Oh that mother fucker? I hit him maybe once before you and the angel got to him, I don’t want credit for that,’ she told him and laughed and there it was. He was still crying, face wet with dark red blotches, but he smiled a little. She leaned up and gave him a little kiss, tasting the salt of his tears on his lips. That would do for now.

‘You are my angel,’ he said softly and hugged her. She hugged him back quickly and she kissed his cheek.

‘And you are mine,’ she told him softly, her tail cooling around his ankle. ‘I don’t know what I would be without you, Rolan,’ she told him softly and his grip got a little tighter.

‘Do you really mean that?’ He whispered and she nodded.

‘Yes, yes with all my heart,’ she told him and the couple stood in a hug for a moment. Rolan had calmed down considerably, at least with his sobbing. He had little hiccups, she would fetch him some water. ‘Rolan?’ She asked softly and he hummed. ‘Are our wedding rings sending stones?’ She asked and his grip on her loosened. He pulled away enough to look at her.

‘Yes, yes they are…I…’ he began and she looked up at him. ‘They won’t work to track your general whereabouts, but…if you rub it, I will know where you are,’ he told her. She had only rubbed her ring when she was terribly upset and needed him. And each time he appeared to comfort her. ‘Stupidly, I got lucky today, you’re as smart as a whip, figuring that out yourself,’ he told her and she tilted her head.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ She asked him and he bit his lip and shrugged. ‘Rolan,’ she urged him and he shook his head.

‘I don’t know…when we exchanged them a lot was going on, I forgot and then when I wanted to tell you you weren’t around and…I don’t know. I did not mean to keep it from you,’ he said and sighed. ‘And…after you used it the first time, I sort of assumed you knew what it was, or I was happy to think that you might have thought-‘

‘That you could show up when I needed you?’ She asked and he winced.

‘Yes,’ he said and looked away. Zelphie frowned and looked at him. She didn’t know how she felt about that. A flash of her Dream Figure showed up in her mind, The Emperor. ‘It wasn’t the intention, I promise…I’m sorry,’ he said and looked back down at her. ‘If you want the stone removed, just tell me, I’ll understand,’ he said and she shook her head.

‘No, no, I genuinely don’t mind it, it is incredibly handy. I don’t mind you knowing where I am…it just,’ she said and shrugged. ‘Is there anything else you wish to tell me, Rolan?’ She asked him and he sighed through his nose.

‘I don’t think so,’ he told her softly and she nodded.

‘Can you teach me how to use it?’ She asked and he smiled and nodded.

‘Of course,’ he told her and leaned down to kiss her. She kissed him back. He held her close again and she wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers playing with his hair. It was getting pretty long. She would never ever tell him that she preferred it this long, she would just compliment it. If he ever wanted to cut it, she wouldn’t fight, but she did secretly love it long and down. Her fingers played with the little knot keeping it half up and she felt him laughing against her lips. ‘Like a cat with a toy,’ he told her and nuzzled her face.

‘Sorry, I like playing with it,’ she told him and he smiled.

‘I have no complaints,’ he reassured her and she grinned.

‘Let’s get you into bed,’ she told him and as unusual as that would be for Rolan, he didn’t put up a fight. He had drunk three glasses of wine and cried for about an hour. He was ready for a lie down, for certain. He climbed in and she poured him a glass of water and handed it to him.

‘Thank you,’ he said and she smiled at him.

‘Do you need anything else? Lajy cuddles?’ She asked him and he raised his eyebrow at her as he drank his water. He finished his drink and shook his head.

‘Lajy would be fine, but I better be getting you in this bed,’ he said and her tail thumped happily. ‘Unless your little herb garden is more important.’

‘Little herb garden?’ She asked and placed her hands on her hips. ‘Don’t you patronize me,’ she said and he chuckled as she climbed in next to him. ‘Are you feeling a little better? I know I can’t fix it, and I hate that I can’t,’ she told him, getting under the covers. Rolan enveloped her into his arms quickly. He brought her to lay on his chest as he sat back on pillows. He kissed her forehead.

‘I do, thank you. And now, all I want is to hold what is precious to me. I don’t know what will happen in the future, and that is killing me. But for this moment, my pregnant wife is here, and she is safe, and that’s all that I want,’ he told her and placed his face in her hair, his jaw fitting very well in between her horns. She nuzzled into his neck, just relaxing. He was so warm, like a pile of burning charcoal. She loved it.

‘Lia asked me if I know if the baby is a boy or girl again today,’ she said and he laughed loudly.

‘I’ll make her do more homework tomorrow,’ he told her and she laughed, knowing that Rolan can assign Lia to read a million books about the biology of a tiefling pregnancy and she wouldn’t read a single sentence. She was just ready to hold the little bundle.

‘I might just lie to her next time she asks,’ Zelphie said and Rolan laughed again.

‘Don’t you dare, you’ll just create another headache if you are wrong,’ he told her and she smirked.

‘A headache for you, maybe,’ she said and she felt Rolan’s hand on her tail, and he pulled it playfully, making her laugh. ‘I want to know too, I’m so impatient, I cannot wait for our little one to be here,’ she told him and he gave her a little squeeze.

‘I would say I’m the same, but I’m not ready yet. There is still a lot to do,’ he said and sighed. ‘Still so much that I don’t know,’ he said and she laughed.

‘I don’t know if you’ll know everything before they come, darling. Babies are very fickle creatures,’ she said and he huffed.

‘Infuriating,’ he muttered. She lifted her head slowly and smiled at him.

‘Knowing you, I can assure you, any spawn of yours will be incredibly infuriating,’ she said and he scowled.

‘Oh, oh my darling, kettle, pot,’ he said bluntly. Zelphie laughed at his grumpy face. ‘I mean it, you are the most infuriating person I know,’ he said and she continued to laugh, wrinkling her nose. This was fun Rolan, sassy Rolan. He was feeling better. ‘I cannot wait for the headaches your child will give me,’ he said and she howled. ‘Getting into places and business they don’t belong, making a mess of every room in the tower,’ he said and she continued to cackle and he let up and laughed with her. He nuzzled her and sighed out. ‘And I will be so happy.’

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 rolan #holy rolan empire #rolan bg3 #rolan #rolan x tav #bg3 fanfiction #mine

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androgynousblackbox · 4 months ago

Text

The horror of our love. 1 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

Luci

"By all accounts, it looked to be a normal notebook. It weighted like one, it felt like one. You could even opened it and go through the pages as you would with any other. On the page immediately after the cover there was a seal reading "This journal belong to" with the name Alastor Abaddon first written on the dotted line, then scratched to put instead Alastor Magne.

The actual difference started once you wrote on any of them. If one wanted, they could use any utensils for it, but the words were better received when using a quill and ink. The letters dissapeared in a matter of seconds and soon enough a response would appear right underneath. It didn't had to be a question either. You could write something on the most horrid grammar possible and the words written would mercilessly tell correct you, usually with some insult throw in the mix. If the offending bad grammar continued, the notebook would close by itself and anyone opening it up again would be greeted with another sarcastic remark about the clear lack of literacy going on.

But that would only happen if someone was just fucking around with it, testing it like a new toy and wasting everyone's time, wouldn't it? Absolutely not the thing someone should be doing with something like this. So instead it's mostly used to answer questions. It can't answer everything, and some questions it doesn't want to answer even though probably knows it, but a good deal it can.

Some of those inquiries are easy.

Did you really belonged to person whose name is written on the front?

Yes.

What can you tell me about him?

Anything.

Anything like what?

Sometimes it's not letters that emerges from the pages. Sometimes there are some scribbles. Mainly faces with sharp teeth and smiles that extend far beyond what any real face would allow. That was the answer to the last question. Point taken: you have to be a little more especific than that. It doesn't like it when you are too vague.

The first time that we got it and we realized what it was, after the initial surprise, it asked us who we were. So I wrote it. We were students of professor Magne that went to Hogwarts before it closed. The journal took a while to write back.

A professor?

When those words vanished, others came underneath.

What happened at the school?

I should have throw away that thing the moment that came out. Now is that I see that. The whole point of this is to find out what happened that night, the one right before any student came back to start a new year. There was no witnesses left. All the other teachers, the headmaster, everyone gone. There was so much blood everywhere.

I don't really need to go into too much details about it, do I? It was all over the papers. People still remembered it on each anniversary. People keep making theories about what happened to this day, because that is the thing. Nobody knows what happened. The only thing we do know for sure is that professor Magne was not among the deceased. They found a body that looked like him, chopped into pieces and half eaten like everyone else, but that only lasted as far as the effect of the potion wore off. I had to ask a few favors in order to find that out. No, to make sure that it was exactly what I was thinking of. I am not proud of it. This is exactly the kind of shit we are going to keep off the records if we do decide to go public about this.

Grave digging is not my kind of hobby.

If that motherfucker really did all I know he did, then fuck it. I will do what it takes. If he is dead, then good, I was wrong and I don't have to think about this any more. But if the body that is buried under the headstone with his name doesn't match, then he better be preparing his ass because I am coming for it.

The body that was buried there was too short. The suit that they have put on him for what was supposed to be his resting place was sagging all over it, and not because it had been years since it happened. I remember professor Magne towering all over us even in our final year. That wasn't him. I don't know who that is. Some homeless person, maybe? There was no report of any person missing nearby, none that matched that matched with what we… I found.

That is how all of this started.

He is still out there. Probably doing the same shit he did to all of those people right as I speak. The same shit that he was doing at school even before that night. There was never any other monster who just got hungry and escaped. It's not about proof, not that alone. He needs to be stopped. If there is anything that can help us towards that goal, I will do it. I should have done something when I had my suspicions, because I always knew something wrong with that guy, but I was just some dumb kid back then who had no resources, no connections, nothing. I might still be dumb, but ain't no kid no more. I can move some strings of my own now.

The notebooks was the first one of the pieces that we discovered. When they cleaned up the whole castle, it was discovered among the books in one of the libraries. Everyone just assumed that it was the diary of one of the tragically deceased victims, so they send it to the last relative that professor Magne. Problem is, he didn't had any relative left so it kinda got lost in the system. That gave us a good headache for a while until we found it on a second hand store. The lady that sold it to us said she received it from a friend on the Ministery that needed to get rid of a bunch of old stuf that was just occupying space. She had no idea what it was. She never tried to write on it.

We did. We could have burn it, turn it into ashes, and hope that fucker, wherever he is, can feel every second of those pages being consumed. See if he likes it when he is the one being devoured for once. I still haven't fully rule it out, once we can squeeze anything useful out of it. For now, this is the closest we have to talking to him.

The notebook writes like a well educated kid would have. A kid made it after all. That thought alone is so wrong. Knowing how these things are made makes it so much more messed up. But if I keep concentrating on every single disgusting, horrible, questionable shit I find out about him, then this is just never going to end. More people are going to die and I am just going to be here, hoping my next hangover at least make it easy to forget. So powerthrough this is all I have.

I write that "a monster ate everyone at school one night."

That is the official version at least. It writes back.

A monster? What kind of monster?

I don't know. Nobody saw it. It had to be big though.

After a while, the next words appear.

Do you know Luci?

No. Who is Luci?

It takes a whole minute for it to respond.

Luci is my best friend. If you know where they are, take me with them.

The words vanished just as easy as they came. Of course we researched that. There was no kid whose name could be shortened as Luci on the generation when professor Magne was a student at Hogwarts. Not on his, not on any of the other years, not in the entire school. There were Elizabeths, three Lucious because that name was popular apparently and even one Luz that was two years ahead of him. I couldn't find any immediate evidence that he was close with any of them. I didn't miss either the fact it wasn't telling me any gender.

So I ask it to tell me more about this Luci. I can't really take him to this friend if I don't know the first thing about who they are or what they look like, can I? If he told me that, then maybe we can find them and give them the notebook like Alastor, or this version of Alastor at least, would have wanted.

I could tell you everything, but I don't know if you would like it, appeared on the page. Some people tend to find it upsetting.

I don't mind upsetting, I write back. Sometimes I read horror novels for fun. I have a strong stomach.

You do?

Something about those two simple words makes me read them with the voice of the professor in my head. Using that same gleeful tone he had just before he dropped something horrible onto all of us during class, when neither of us could escape it. I can almost see the gleeful anticipation on his brown eyes as he waits the perfect moment for it.

Yes, I write, because I will take anything I can get. Anthony is reading above my shoulder and my mouth is a bit dry as the quill moves with my hand. Do you have a story for me?

A smiley face is my answer before the notebook closes by itself. Then it opens again, running up to the first page, that ironically we never used when communication with it. We just use whichever we happened to land on. As we see them, entire parragraph start appearing in front of our eyes, as if this thing had all the words at the ready.

I still can hear the voice of that fucker on them."

"Then allow me to start from the beginning, as many stories do. Please, sit back, relax and let me tell you all about how I met the love of my life.

#radioapple #appleradio #duckiedeer #hazbin hotel au #harry potter au #i call it harry potter au but it's just using the setting the plot has nothing to do with harry anything lmao #just an excuse to write monsterfucker Alastor and monster Luci

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slythering-snake-boys · 2 years ago

Text

It's Been Awhile Ch. 6

Characters: Sebastian Sallow x Reader/MC

Series Masterlist

Words: 4741

Warnings: fluff, a little angst, Sebastian being jealous and insecure, some cursing

Taglist: @cloudroomblog

He looked down at you, almost becoming deaf to the excited chatter around him. But your eyes looking at him made his heart stutter and his palms sweat. You looked so sweet beside him like that's where you'd always belonged. Just the way he belonged by yours, supporting and helping you as you wished.

"Would you like to dance with me?" Sebastian asked you with a hopeful smile, pink visibly dusting his cheeks even in the dim light of the candles. He'd been dreaming of this ever since he'd read the reunion letter: asking you to be his partner, seeing you at the top of the stairs coming towards him, dancing with you, holding you as close as possible for as long as he could.

"Of course, I'd be delighted to!" You laughed as if it was the silliest question ever and let yourself be led to the middle of the room under the many candles floating above. One of his hands went to your lower back while the other one picked up your hand, with your free one holding onto his shoulder. After the first few steps, which went off without a hitch, you watched as Sebastian grinned playfully before pulling you flush against his front.

You gasped from the sudden movement before smiling in response, trying to get your feet to move in such a way so you wouldn't step on his. But he didn't seem to care, his grip on you tightening until you finally relaxed and moved with him. The movements seemed like second nature and there was no hesitation in either of your steps. There were smiles on both of your faces as you spun around the dance floor, having eyes for no one else but each other.

Hearing the crescendo of the enchanted instruments, Sebastian only held your hand above your head and spun you around thrice. You laughed before he finally caught you and brought you back into his arms, both of you breathing heavily as the music ceased. The sound of clapping surrounded you as the couples and those on the sidelines applauded everyone who'd just danced.

Sebastian and you looked at one another, heat radiating from both of your bodies as your hearts gradually started calming down. There were ecstatic smiles on both of your faces as you stared into each other's eyes without any regard for anyone else around you. Your chest heaved and he licked his lips with how much he wanted to kiss you right then and there, wanting to take your breath away just for a little bit longer.

"MC, can I-"

"Sebastian!" Turning around, you both saw Ominis moving through all the people now slowly dancing to a calmer tune, his pulsing wand guiding him and his cane clanking against the wooden floor. You watched him curiously as you waited for him to reach you two. "I need to talk with you. It's important." Sebastian looked back at you, almost feeling regret at having to leave you again before he even managed to kiss you. And yet, you only smiled reassuringly.

"Go. Don't worry about it. We'll talk later." You kissed his cheek softly and squeezed his hand that was still holding yours before letting go. You went over to where Anne and the other girls had gathered while he and Ominis went somewhere a little more secluded, away from prying ears.

"What is it, Ominis? Is something wrong?" Sebastian was worried about his best friend, though there was also the smallest bit of impatience laced in his tone, which he tried his best to conceal. He wanted to be near you, feeling as if he didn't have enough air in his lungs whenever you were away from him. Ominis looked nervous and paler than usual, but it might've been because of the lights that night.

"Has Anne told you about...us? About-"

"About the two of you dating for the past 2 years in secret? Yeah, she mentioned it in passing." Ominis groaned and Sebastian laughed, patting him on the shoulder. The blind man deflated a bit and shook his head - he probably thought he'd get decked for liking his best friend's sister and dating her without letting him know.

"Sebastian, I'm sorry, truly. I wanted to tell you, but I just - I didn't know how to tell you and we weren't talking, so-"

"Hey, hey, easy..." Sebastian smiled sympathetically. It was one of the very rare times when Ominis was actually nervously stumbling over his words and it let him know how important Anne was to him. "It's okay. I already had a feeling you two liked one another, ever since we were younger. You two spent a lot of time together, whether you realised it or not." Ominis was quiet, nervously biting his lower lip before lifting his head as if he could look at the freckled man in front of him.

"Are you sure it's okay?"

"I couldn't have thought of anyone better for my sister." Ominis visibly exhaled in relief. Then he took a deep breath in and gulped, face serious. He felt as if his heart was trying to burst from his chest but he still tried to appear calm.

"Then, is it okay...if I ask for your blessing?" Sebastian swore he hadn't heard right. His eyes were wide as he stared at Ominis.

"What?" The shock was evident in his voice and Ominis puffed up his chest and stood tall in an attempt to gain the small bit of confidence needed to push forward. It was finally out in the open; might as well ask what he'd been pondering about ever since he'd started thinking about Anne romantically.

"I want to ask Anne to marry me." Sebastian said nothing, glancing at Anne to see her with you and the other girls, laughing and having a good time. It was almost as if she'd never gotten sick in the first place with how well she was getting along with everyone. He couldn't deny either of them even a shred of the happiness they deserved.

"I'd love nothing more than for you to become my brother-in-law. You have my blessing and I can't wait to see the two of you happy already." Ominis smiled and hugged Sebastian tightly, feeling his best friend pat him on the back encouragingly before pulling back.

"Thank you, Sebastian. I promise I'll try my hardest to make her happy if she'll have me." Sebastian reassured him that she most definitely will, his eyes briefly glancing at her, then at you. You were laughing with Anne and the girls about something, his eyes seeing Imelda clearly blushing. You were probably teasing her about Alexey.

"What about you? Any plans with MC?" Ominis' voice and words brought him back to the present and he turned back to his best friend. Though he couldn't help looking back at you. You were simply there and he couldn't make himself look at anyone else.

"I don't know. I'd love to ask her to be mine again... Hell, I missed her so much I might actually ask her to marry me." Ominis chuckled.

"Knowing you, and her, she'd probably say yes. It doesn't really seem as if you've been away from one another for the past 7 years or so. And from what I've heard from others, you two seem awfully close." Sebastian snorted, playfully elbowing him in the ribs and making his friend chuckle.

"Want a double wedding now, huh?" They both chuckled before going silent, with calm smiles on both of their faces. "I'm trying to get her to be mine again, I really am. But people just get in the way and I can't ask her anything this way. It's like the universe is taunting me." Ominis laughed outright and shook his head with a wide smile.

"About the wedding, I'll have to ask Anne first. After I propose to her. As for MC... I think you're closer than anyone here to getting her to become your girlfriend again. And a wife? Even more so. I'm sure you'll be able to get enough time alone to ask her."

"I really hope so... I mean, she's so...gorgeous, amazing and brave and talented... How could someone NOT try to steal her away?" Sebastian sighed, ruffling his styled hair, uncaring about how it may look. "I didn't even get to kiss her tonight, Ominis! And I was so close, too..." Then his entire mood seemed to drop as he looked at the floor with furrowed brows. "But...what if she won't want to be with me anymore? What if she's scared of me because of what I've done in the past?" Ominis shook his head as he heard him.

"There's no way. You do know she can beat your arse if she wants to, right? She always beat you in duels. And don't tell me you were going easy on her, because we both know that's a blatant lie." Sebastian chuckled and nodded in approval. He always tried his hardest in duels and never held back. Not even against you. But he did like losing to you. "The point is, Sebastian, that she certainly doesn't seem scared of you. Not with how much you two have been around one another since yesterday."

Sebastian nodded, clapping his best friend's shoulder amicably. "You're right, I should just go to her and-"

Just as Sebastian was about to go to you, he saw Theodore Golding approach you as you'd left the girls' side to get something to drink. He immediately hugged you and Sebastian could see your shocked expression turn into a mix of nervousness and half smiles as Theodore kept firing questions your way while his hand kept holding your own. It didn't look like he'd be letting go of yours anytime soon. Jealousy started taking hold of Sebastian. He always hated when others would look at you like that. Like you were supposed to be theirs, almost like a trophy.

"Bastard..." He hissed, making Ominis look at him questioningly. Sebastian had been fine up until then and now there was clear venom in his voice.

"What's wrong?"

"It's that prat, Theodore Golding. He's prowling and sniffing around MC like a dog in heat." Sebastian hadn't felt this sort of jealousy until he'd met you and for no one else after you. Merlin, he hated how easily jealous he'd get. But you were special to him. He couldn't control that damned green-eyed monster even if he wanted.

You were immensely popular even back in fifth-year, seeing and hearing guys and girls alike praising you and complimenting you. He'd fight off his jealousy whenever he saw another person come up to you to request they talk alone with you about something important, whether it was before, during or after your relationship with him. You always left only a few seconds later, appearing nervous, but relieved, followed by another dejected-looking nobody who'd confessed to you and been shot down.

After you stopped hanging out together due to his...poor choices... A lot of people saw your break-up with the freckled Slytherin as an opportunity for them to be seen with the Hero of Hogwarts, especially as your lover. You always rejected whoever confessed to you, much to Sebastian's joy. But Theodore hadn't been deterred by your relationship with Sebastian, your other admirers or your rejection. You had told Sebastian once, while you were still together, that Theodore had told you he'd try until he succeeded or died trying.

"Then let him die" Sebastian had simply answered at that time, making you laugh and hit his bicep playfully, telling him to stop being mean. He still remembered when you had rejected Theodore back in your fifth-year. Then the sixth. Then the seventh. He wondered how many others were just like Theodore: undeterred and willing to keep trying to ask you out in hopes of wearing you down and making you accept. The mere idea made his blood boil and his fists clench.

"What are you going to do about it?" Ominis asked him, bringing him back to the present. Sebastian gritted his teeth, nostrils flaring when he saw Theodore place a kiss on your knuckles before he let go and went back to his friends. Natty, Poppy and Anne came over and worriedly asked you something each before starting to talk animatedly, the awkward air surrounding you dissipating in seconds as they tried to keep you from being accosted by other potential suitors. That's one of the reasons why you'd stayed with them whenever you weren't with Sebastian or Ominis.

"Nothing. What can I really do, actually? I can't do a damn thing about it, that's the truth. We're not together anymore. I can't just go and deck Theodore or any of the others in the face, as much as I'd love to." Sebastian grumbled and glared at Theodore, who seemed oblivious to his glare as he kept glancing at you, along with his friends.

"Don't you want to be with MC again, Sebastian? You've been talking about this since yesterday. What's with the sudden change in attitude towards getting her back? Thought you'd stop at nothing to get what you wanted?"

"Don't be daft, of course I do. I've wanted to be with her since I first duelled her in Defence Against the Dark Arts and helped her sneak into the Restricted Section 7 years ago. Not to mention that troll attack in Hogsmeade." His voice was low as he glanced at you again before he looked down into his half-empty cup. He felt conflicted about his next course of action. Was Sebastian asking you out a bad idea? Was it too soon? Did he even stand a chance? Against all those who wanted you as well? Who still wanted you?

"But what if she doesn't want me anymore? What if I'm still not good enough for her? Guys like Theodore Golding are everything she deserves: someone with money, a respectable job, a good family... He could lavish her with gold and buy her the finest clothes and jewellery. Plus, he most probably never killed anyone." Sebastian's eyebrows furrowed and the insecurity in his voice was almost palpable to Ominis. His best friend frowned.

He couldn't lie about it - he felt bad about Sebastian and you. You two seemed to balance each other out as well as hype one another when needed. You were literally trying to bring the best out of each other and do what you thought was best for each other and those you knew. So to know his best friend was so anxious and upset by the prospect of not being able to make you happy was almost heartbreaking. But he decided to be the voice of reason and make Sebastian understand that you two were made for each other - a fact he was certain of.

"And how do you know that's what she wants, Sebastian?"

"Huh?" He looked up, Ominis' hazy blue eyes staring directly at him, almost as if he could see Sebastian.

"The Goldings are purebloods and an old family. That's not necessarily something bad because there are many purebloods who are more than decent people. But the Goldings are just a little less stricter than my family. Theodore might be more open-minded, sure, but his family isn't. And they certainly don't think anything good about others, whether they're Muggles, Muggle-borns, half-bloods, goblins or even beasts. So how do you think they would react to finding out their oldest son is dating a witch who's also working on improving relations with goblinkind, whom they despise and consider inferior?" Sebastian was quiet, looking at the bit of punch on the bottom of his cup before glancing at you and then at Theodore.

"You should ask her what she wants instead of assuming." Ominis added before smiling at him. "She never was the type to want fine clothes or jewellery. Or anything insanely expensive, for that matter. She was just happy to have some Butterbeer, toffees and a Niffler or any other beast nearby after a day of beating up a bunch of poachers and Ashwinders. Remember?"

Sebastian hummed and sighed with a smile, agreeing with Ominis. The memories of you laughing as you were being ambushed by all the beasts you'd rescued, munching on Honeydukes sweets while studying, enjoying a Butterbeer after a challenging class or a successful trial given by the Keepers... He fell in love with you with each passing day and everything you did.

Still, the doubts were clouding his mind and he felt his emotions slowly starting to get the better of him. Before he could reply to Ominis' words, Imelda suddenly leaned against the wall, flanking his other side and startling him. He glanced at her before downing the remaining bit of his drink. He audibly huffed and frowned, not ready to deal with Imelda and her knowing, smug smirk.

"What is it, Reyes? Came to make fun of me or something? Cause I'm not in the mood right now. Go back to your husband and pester him like Merlin intended to." It felt weird to put Imelda's name and the word husband in the same sentence. Imelda smirked and he was ready to roll his eyes, but he only felt a brief, sharp pain on the back of his head. "Ouch! What the hell?!" He turned to look down at her, seeing her right hand up in the air. She may have been shorter than him, but she was certainly strong.

"Just came to see if you're done sulking, Sallow. Are you gonna try getting MC back before any of those hungry wolves try to get to her first?" He scoffed at her words and looked away, though his eyes couldn't help glancing at you. You were the most beautiful there that night. You always were in his eyes. He wanted you so badly that his heart ached. "I heard Prewett was also among them~" She almost sang and Sebastian choked on air and started coughing, Ominis' hand hitting the back of his neck. Once he was better, Sebastian scowled at her, though he was growing angrier the more he watched her smirk.

"What's it to you, Imelda? Aside from watching the drama." She hummed and smiled, though there was a serious look in her eyes that made Sebastian bristle. She was like a mother bear and you were her cub. He didn't want to know how she'd be if she ever had kids and someone dared to mess with them.

"MC is my friend. I know that none of these losers wants to actually be with her. They only want her as arm candy." Sebastian's jaw clenched, his grip on his cup tightening. "And I also know that she's been glancing at you every few moments while you were sobbing like a little bitch in the corner." He looked up at her before looking at you. You had a small smile as you watched your friends laugh and talk, standing closer to Anne, as if you were trying to protect her from whatever might come her way - it made his heart soar. You didn't really seem to be paying attention to them or their words, though - at least not entirely.

"I know she's a hopeless romantic. Especially for you, ugh, though I still can't understand what she sees in you," she scoffed in mock disgust and Sebastian glared at her, "but I told her to settle for someone else if you won't make a move tonight." Sebastian glowered at her as fiercely as he did whenever he was in an intense duel. She smiled and raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. "Up for the challenge, Sallow? Or shall I tell Prewett and the others waiting in line that it's free real estate?" With a quiet growl, he pushed himself from the wall at the same time he slammed his cup on the closest wooden surface, spilling the juice from other cups nearby on the table. Then he left the now quieter Great Hall, everyone's eyes on his squared shoulders and tense body as he stomped away. Including yours.

"Way to go, Imelda." Ominis rolled his eyes before pointing his wand at the juice to clean it up, having heard a few people groan about the stains it would leave on the tablecloth.

"Oh, shut it. I know exactly what I did. You may not see, but MC just ran after him." She laughed, sounding just the slightest bit evil. "I hear wedding bells~" Ominis sighed, rubbing his forehead. He could feel a headache incoming. But he hoped Imelda was right.

"Stupid...fucking...googly-eyed motherf-"

"Sebastian? Where are you going? Are you all right?" He stopped grumbling to himself, not turning around to look at you. He couldn't or he'd kiss you like there was no tomorrow and embarrass you for sure, just to show Leander, Theodore and everyone else that you were only his.

"I'm fine...but I'm tired and not feeling like myself right now. So I'm going back to the common room to sleep it off. I had fun, MC... Thanks for indulging me tonight and for bringing Anne. For helping her. I shan't forget this." He sighed, rubbing his forehead before huffing loudly while you watched him worriedly, not knowing how to approach him without making things worse. "Good night, MC. See you in the morning." His voice was deadpanned, but he was angry and frustrated at the gaggle of suitors, how you were making his blood rush through his veins with your concern and how much he wanted you at that moment. The brunette felt as if the universe was taunting him - he was so close to you, but there was always something or someone getting in the way.

He started walking away, eyes dark and jaw clenched. He had to get away before he stormed back in there and punched each one of those idiots who were trying to get you.

"W-Wait! Sebastian!" He heard your footsteps coming closer and faster until you stopped behind him, almost bumping into his broad back the moment he stopped walking. You watched his back rise and fall with every quick breath, as if he was trying to keep himself calm and in check. "Did something happen? Did I do something to upset you?" He shook his head vehemently and you felt your chest get a little lighter. Though you were still anxious and unwilling to let him leave just like that.

"You know you can talk to me...right?" Your quiet, worried voice barely reverberated in the empty hallway and Sebastian gulped. "I still care about you, Sebastian. I always will. Don't forget that." His shoulders were still tense and he breathed heavily in and out, his fists clenching and unclenching. You deserved better. Not Leander fucking Prewett. He was an idiot who wasn't even worth your glance - but someone better. Better than Sebastian.

"I can't fucking do this... I have to get out of here..." His voice was quiet and his words were exasperated and full of frustration. "I'm not myself right now, I'm sorry." He shook his head and started walking away once more in long strides. Your shock only lasted for a second before you chased after him again, heels noisily clacking against the stone floor while you held your dress so you wouldn't trip on it. This time, you ended up grabbing one of his elbows to stop him. You almost thought you saw his younger self as he left you behind the day you broke up. You didn't want a repeat of it. You wouldn't be able to bear it again.

"Sebastian, please, stop running away! Don't do this to yourself again! I can't..." You felt your eyes filling up with tears, despair filling your heart and knots making your stomach tense as you sniffled. "I can't lose you again... P-Please...don't leave..." You heard him breathe in sharply before he turned around, his eyes looking at you to see your teary eyes before he was pulling you into his strong arms. You embraced him without a second thought, grasping onto his back tightly.

"I won't leave you and you won't lose me either... I love you, MC... I never stopped. I couldn't. You've been the one since you beat my arse in Defence Against the Dark Arts..." He heard your warbled chuckle and allowed his hand to go into your styled hair, pulling you even closer. He closed his eyes as he pressed a kiss to the side of your head, sensing your perfume and feeling your warmth. He couldn't think about anything or anyone else at that moment. Only you.

"I can't bear the thought of seeing you with the likes of Theodore Golding or, Merlin forbid, Leander fuckin' Prewett." You chuckled a little louder in amusement, feeling the smile in his response just by his voice and tone alone. "Please, give me another chance. Just one. And if I mess up, you can use every spell I've ever taught you on me and I won't fight it." You nodded your head with a brief laugh, going as much as you could on your tiptoes to hug him even tighter. He responded in kind, smiling and feeling all his anger gradually leaving him as he bent down so you'd hug him comfortably.

"I love you, Seb... I always will... No one else could ever take your place in my heart." You both smiled as you pulled back just a little, the joy visible on both of your faces. He grinned at the nickname, seeing that sweet smile he loved before he wiped your cheeks of the tears left behind. Then he looked down at your lips, beautiful and beckoning him as one of his thumbs moved to them, barely swiping over your bottom one. You seemed to read his mind because you put one of your fingers against his lips. "Let's save this for upstairs... I'll want more than just one kiss..." The brunette grinned before kissing your finger, pulling your hand away and pressing it right above his heart which was thudding rapidly.

"And I'll give you plenty more, that's a promise. But first..." With a quick glance backwards, Sebastian saw the two of you had attracted quite an audience, including the two men who had apparently thought of trying their luck with you. With an almost evil grin, the freckled man you loved held you tightly and suddenly leaned you backwards. There was a squeak of surprise as your eyes went wide and your hands held onto him for dear life while you looked into his beautiful, dark brown eyes. With a wink, his lips slotted against yours, putting all of his jealousy and anger into it - just to show all those watching that they'd never have you and to show you that he was the one for you.

Once the initial shock wore off, you kissed him back, holding onto the hair at the back of his head and the bicep of his arm that pressed against your back to keep you from falling. You could feel him smile widely as he kissed you more intensely and you couldn't help the smile blooming on your lips. There were gasps and even whistles coming from the crowd. Sebastian distinctly thought he heard Garreth yell Go, Sallow!, but except for a twitch of his mouth, there was nothing to indicate he'd heard him.

The kiss that started so suddenly and intensely ended softly, his lips slowly separating from yours. He pulled you back up, holding you tightly as he pecked your lips one more time before looking over your head at the crowd with a triumphant smile. You didn't dare turn back, feeling how hot your face had become as you buried yourself deeper into his arms that were around you. You could already imagine the teasing in the morning from the girls.

"Find yourself another girl, Golding - she's mine! You too, Leander!" Sebastian smirked as if he'd won his toughest duel ever. The two men in question looked away, blushing as others started looking at them and gossiping. With a smug grin aimed at Imelda, who was smirking back, Sebastian picked you up bridal style before he used the nearest Floo Network to get you to the Room of Requirement directly.

#bomi's stuff #iba series #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian sallow x you #sebastian sallow x reader #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy x mc #hogwarts legacy x you #hogwarts legacy x reader

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specialagentlokitty · 1 year ago

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Thomas Barrow x Male!reader - love to hate you, hate to love you

Part 5:

You walked over and you both walked off to the side while Thomas stood there with a smirk on his face, hands clasped behind his back.

“It’s medicine my lord, to try aid the rapid destruction of my eye sight in my right eye, sent over by a good friend of mine.”

“How strange, I’ve never heard such thing.”

“We are not sure if it’ll work to be honest, back home we rely on traditional medicines you see, passed down from generation to generation. Though we have never needed to try such a thing as thing.”

“I see, well I hope it works for you.”

He handed the bottle over and you smiled, slipping it into your pocket.

“Thank you my lord.”

With that, you walked away, smirking a little at Thomas who’s smirk had fallen.

Making your way upstairs, you put it back where it belonged and a moment later your door opened and closed.

“Brave of you to lie to his lordship.” Thomas said.

“There was no lie Thomas, it is for medical use.”

“Then why hide it away.”

“Because it is not for medical use for the likes of you.”

Standing up, you looked at Thomas, tilting your head up a little bit.

“I warned you not to make an enemy of me Thomas barrow.” You said lowly.

“And what will you do about it?” He smirked.

Storming over, you grabbed his liveries and slammed him into the wall, glaring at him harshly.

Thomas saw dark intent in your eyes, something he had never seen in anyone’s eyes before, not even in the trenches during the war.

This was different.

Enough to make a shiver go down his spine, and his smirk slowly fell from his face as your eyes bore into his.

Your eyes were dangerous.

The usual steel, cold, emotionless (E/C) orbs now stormy, dark, almost murderous.

“You do not want to be on the wrong side of me…” you whispered.

Thomas swallowed nervously, and said nothing.

You leant next to his ear.

“Believe me now Thomas barrow… it never ended well for those on the wrong side of me.. never…”

“What did you do…?” He whispered back.

You pulled away, and the ghost of a smirk flickered on your face.

“Let’s just say, the lunatic asylum is not a nice place but makes a safe shelter….”

You let him go, and Thomas smoothed a hand down his clothes, and fixed his hair.

“How intriguing a person you really are.” He said.

“What’s makes you say that?”

“You have secrets, dark secrets. And I am going to find them out.”

“I wish you luck, you won’t find out a single thing. There’s things that hide in plain sight, and others that hide in the darkest depths of the underworld, or hell, as you call it.”

“And you just gave me my first clue.”

“What? That I am half Greek? I though that was common knowledge.”

Thomas frowned a little and you smirked even more.

“You have nothing on me and you know it.”

“I believe I may have something on you.” He said.

“Oh, care to share?”

“No.”

Thomas smirked at you and walked away and you rolled your eyes, making sure everything was hidden you went downstairs.

“You’re awake early.” Anna said.

“That’s because I haven’t slept.”

“Oh dear please go sleep.” Mrs Hughes sighed.

You waved your hand and sat down at the table, lighting a cigarette.

“It’s fine, I’ll sleep tomorrow after my shift. Is there any post Alfred?”

“Oh yes, this letter arrived for you.”

He held it out to you and you took it, opening it you carefully read the words.

“What kind of writing is that, goodness gracious that looks like some sort of code.” Mr Carson asked.

You stood up and sat back down when he did, and you looked up from your letter.

“Maybe Mr (L/N) is a spy.” Thomas mused.

“Maybe I ought to knock your head against the table a few times Mr Barrow. I’m not a spy, it’s Ancient Greek. We learn to write it within our first year at home.”

Everything nodded and you turned back to reading your letter.

‘I’m sure you are aware of the troubles going on at the moment, but we would still appreciate it if you could come and discuss everything with us. We have reason to believe this is bigger than anyone thinks, though the oracle has yet to let us know. If you do please come back as soon as you can, even if only for an hour, I should like to see you again (Y/N).’

You set the letter down and took a sip of your tea and you turned to Mr Carson.

“Is Henry asleep?”

“I believe so sir, yes.”

Nodding, you stood up and left the table, making your way upstairs you knocked on the door and walked in.

“Henry I hate to disturb you but I need to speak with you.”

He sat up and rubbed his head.

“Of course sir.”

“I need to leave at once, I should be back for tonight but if not I need you to take charge, I will alert his lordship.”

“Yes sir, but is everything alright?”

“Just some things to sort is all, go back to sleep.”

Leaving, you closed the door and then made your way upstairs to find Lord Grantham, and you found him in the tea room.

“My lord, May I have a word?” You asked.

He set his paper down.

“Of course (L/N), what is it?”

“I need to leave for a few hours, for family reason, I should be back tonight but if not Henry said he would take charge.”

“Yes of course you can go, is everything alright?”

“I believe so my lord, I’d should just like to check.”

“Of course, go head.” He smiled.

“Thank you my lord.”

You left and quickly made your way back down the stairs, taking a shortcut through the shadows you emerged from your office and walked back into the servants hall.

“Mr Carson, Im going away, Henry will be in charge until my return.”

“Very well, thank you for telling me.”

You nodded your head and picked up your letter from the table and pocketed it, and made your way back to your room.

You changed into a normal suit, and put the gold coin from under your floorboard in to your pocket and you left, making your way out of the door.

You began down the path, and when you were sure it was safe you jogged into the woods and jumped through the shadows, breaking through the trees.

“I was beginning to wonder if you were going to come.”

You smiled and walked over, and the centaur reached down to hug you back.

“I only just received your letter Chiron, honestly you must send Hermes I’ll get them much sooner.”

“I’ll remember that, come we must speak immediately.”

He led you through the camp, past the cabins and people stopped to watch you walk by.

You were taken up the the big house and into a room, and you sat down on a chair.

“Just us?”

“Afraid so, it was a rather rushed choice I made to bring you here.”

You nodded your head and Chiron sighed, showing you the map of the world in front of you.

Standing up, you looked at it with a frown.

“More and more monster are appearing, we have managed them the best we can, but nobody knows what’s going on.”

You sighed.

“My father came to me and explained to me what was going on. They’re leaking out of the underworld somehow, so not only do we have the monsters already here to deal with, but even if we kill them they won’t stay dead for long.”

“Does he know why?”

“No, he’s looking into it, we aren’t quite sure what they are looking for.”

Chiron looked at you, and he pointed to a spot on the map.

“They’re looking for something in this area.”

“Europe?”

“We’re not sure what, but whatever it is, it’s there.”

You nodded your head and stepped away from the table, pacing back and forth.

“What will we do?”

“I fear there is only choice (Y/N), and you know exactly what that is.”

“Chiron we can’t.”

He sighed and gestured for you to following him, so you did, and he took you to the training ground to watch clueless younger members training.

“They are not ready for what is to come.”

“I know Chiron, but they are still children.”

“You were once a child too.” He said.

“I was never a child and you know this.”

“No, you were. A young happy boy, with all the love in the world.”

You glanced at Chiron.

“The world has changed me Chiron, I do not wish the same fate for them as well. Let them be happy for as long as they can, raise their training, turn it into games if you must but keep them as far away from this as you possibly can.”

“Do you think it’s best if they don’t know?” He asked.

“No…”

You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose.

“I don’t know, just give me a few days to think this over, I’ll come back and tell you what I’ve thought of.”

“I’ll do the same, we’ll compare ideas and see what we can do. Must you leave?”

You looked at your pocket watch.

“Yes, it’s already day and I must somehow sneak back in. Thank you.”

Chiron nodded and with one more hug, you ran back into the dark forest, and you appeared in your room and you rushed downstairs.

“Mr (L/N)? You’re back?” Jimmy asked.

“Yes, i went straight up. Henry, I’m glad you’re still awake. Please run charge again tonight and then you can have the next two nights off.”

“Yes sir, is everything alright?”

“Yes, yes. I just need to catch up on some things, please no one disturb me until tomorrow evening.”

With that you left and when you were in your room again you changed into your sleep clothes.

Sitting at the desk in your room, you took a pen and you tapped the table with your finger.

You tried to wrack your brain for anything but nothing would come to you, so you set the pen down again and got into bed.

You were exhausted, and running on little sleep you couldn’t think much.

So you tried to catch up on the sleep you had missed.

Except the usual dreamless sleeps were plagued with nightmares you couldn’t seem to wake up from.

Thomas had waited until the end of the evening, and when everyone else was in their rooms, and checked the hallway and crept over to yours, quietly opening and closing the door.

He walked over to you and looked at you, and he reached out.

Except before he could any closer, you shot up taking a deep breath, eyes wide as you grabbed his wrist.

“Someone had an intense dream.” He said.

You breathed out deeply, and turned your head in his direction.

You opened your mouth but you couldn’t speak.

Thomas reached up with his other hand and placed it on the side of your face, and he ducked down, carefully pressing his lips to yours.

He pulled away and looked at you, and you stood up.

Thomas looked at you, and you looked back at him.

Reaching up, you grabbed his sleep shirt and pulled him forward, crashing your lips on to his and Thomas tangled his hands into your hair.

You pulled away breathless and looked at him.

“Never speak of this.” You warned.

“I wouldn’t dare.” He whispered.

Thomas leant forward and you placed a finger on his forehead, pushing him back.

“What..?”

You placed a finger on your lips and listened carefully.

Walking over to the door, you stood there for a moment before gesturing for him to come over and he did.

“Go someone’s coming up.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Thomas!” You hissed.

You opened your door and peaked your head out, and you leant back in.

You leant forward and brushed your lips against his and pulled away.

“Don’t be getting the wrong idea… we’re still not friends…”

“We don’t have to be friends.” He smirked.

With that he rushed back to his own door and you closed yours, just as you did the landing door was opened.

“Mr Barrow?” Markus asked.

“Thought I heard something, must have been you coming up.”

With that he closed his door and sat on his bed confused as ever but he grinned a little to himself as he picked up his book feel proud of himself

#Downton abbey #downton abbey x reader #downton abbey x you #Downton abbey imagine #thomas barrow #thomas barrow x you #thomas barrow x reader #thomas Barrow imagine

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amandacanwrite · 11 months ago

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Mourning Glories ☼ The Hallowed Wilds ☼ Chapter Six

POV ;; Ezra ☽ 10 y.o.

Summary ;; Ezra goes into the forests again and meets Aurelia. She issues him a warning.

Warnings ;; Just a warning that this chapter includes a description of a corpse that some people might find unnerving or upsetting even though there is no gore described. Please do what is best for you when it comes to this reading chapter.

Author Note ;; I am someone who doesn't get triggered by much, but it's very important to me that anyone who reads my work doesn't become inadvertently triggered because of my writing. While these early chapters are quite light, this story does get dark at times. If you ever notice something I should have issued a content or trigger warning for, please reach out to me so that I can properly apologize to you and add the warning to the list. That all said, let's hop in!!

A week after our birthday something horrible happened.

It was a gloomy day when I left Dewsbury, carrying in my arms some wood and rope to do more work on our secret hideout. When I arrived, Aurelia was already there. Usually, this would have pleased me, but this day something was wrong.

She looked paler than usual, her face drained of the color that usually dusted her cheeks and made her look like a doll. I felt itchy under my collar, and sick to my stomach… like I’d gotten in trouble for something.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“I have to show you something,” she said. “I don’t want to, but The Wilds keep telling me that I have to show you.”

I set down my things on the floor of the makeshift house.

“Okay,” I said.

I was nervous and scared. But I knew Aurelia had to listen to the forest or she would feel sick. I didn’t want to make her feel worse by showing how afraid I was, or make her think that I was worried because of her.

I held my hand out for her and she took it, leading me out of our hideout and into the forest. We walked for what felt like a long time, but this was not the usual excitement we traveled with. There was a sort of solemnity to it, and the longer we walked the more itchy I felt under my collar.

After a while she brought me to a corner of the forest that was covered in thick carpets of morning glory as far as the eye could see. I was dazzled by them even though I knew Mama hated them in her garden. I’d seen pink, purple and blue ones in our vegetable garden at home, but never ones like these.

In The Wilds the blossoms were black with stripes of crimson through the silken petals.

“It’s amazing,” I said.

“This isn’t what I’m showing you,” she said as she led me through the blossoms. Vines snaked out of our way as we walked.

My brow tightened as she led me to a section of the flowers where the vines all slithered away leaving something in their wake. As we stepped closer and I finally laid eyes on what she had led me to, horror chilled me to my core.

It was a corpse.

I’d seen dead people before—my Ma’s Pa who lived really far away died and we went to see him before they buried him. He looked like he was sleeping. I even half expected him to toss and turn or start snoring. He’d looked peaceful and rested.

The corpse didn’t look like that.

An expression of fear was frozen on his face. His eyes wide in terror, mouth agape like he’d died choking. Judging by the red and purple bruising around his neck, he probably had.

I didn’t recognize him from the village, which was something I was grateful for. He was wearing a sweat-stained white shirt and some worn out denim pants. His belt had a pick-axe and a rocker attached to it.

He was a gold miner.

The gold up here had long been exhausted. Pa said we hadn’t had much to begin with, but other places out west were better to look at when it came to prospecting. Ma had an old friend from primary school whose husband struck rich out there, she would always get all mad about it when she got a letter in the post from her.

“Too much, if you ask me,” Mama always said. “People ought to be happy with enough to put a roof over their head, feed their family and enjoy a few comforts in life. Who cares how many horses she can keep now? Why would you even need so many?”

This man didn’t look especially greedy. He looked poor.

He did have a big red nose like the drunks in town, though.

“He’s a miner,” I said, unable to tear my eyes from the cold greyness of his body.

“What’s that?” Aurelia said.

“Miners go into the mountains and find expensive metals and gems like gold and emeralds and rubies. They take them and sell them for money—that stuff I told you about that we trade for food and clothes and such.”

“Oh.”

“We ought to bury him. Everybody deserves the dignity of a proper grave.”

“But he’s a thief!”

My gaze snapped to hers and anger roiled in my belly.

I think I was shocked to hear her talk so carelessly about a stranger. There wasn’t one iota of compassion in her for the poor old fool.

“So what?!” I shouted. “Ain’t you ever done something bad before? Even on accident? This man was maybe a drunk, but he probably didn’t even know about The Wilds. And the forest choked him to death anyway. Ain’t it punishment enough to die alone and afraid?”

The little witch flinched at my shouting and I shook my head, still too angry to feel guilty about it. I reached for his pick axe on his belt to start working on carving out a shallow grave for the man. I wished I had a shovel, it felt wrong to touch this man or his belongings

Luckily, I didn’t have to dig a grave, after all.

As if the forest heard me, the earth beneath the stranger started to shift and open. It started to sink below him, lowering him down and down and down. When The Wilds were finished, the grave was nearly as deep as the one they put Gramps in. It wasn’t a perfectly semetrical rectangle like that one, more like a sinkhole, but it was better than anything I would have been able to do with a little worn out pick axe.

The hole didn’t fill at first and wondered why it hadn’t. An old memory flashed in my mind—something my Ma did at Gramps’ funeral.

I picked up a hand full of wet dirt and threw it on top of the man’s body.

“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,” I said.

And then the hole filled itself. Soft, loose soil rolling over the corpse like the currents in a river. The morning glories once again covered the patch of open ground carpet.

I was ready to leave and go back home after what I’d seen. Curl up in bed and cry and sleep. I turned to do just that.

“Ezra, wait,” Aurelia said.

I turned to look at her and found her still staring at the winding vines of macabre flowers, I followed her gaze and balked.

The vines tangled together in a thick rope of flowering greenery, branching out at a bit from the top and forming a cross where the man’s head had previously been. A grave marker belonging to a God that was no where near this forest.

“How did you…do that?” She asked me.

I looked at her and shook my head. “I didn’t do anything.”

“The forest listened to you, it bent to your will. Like it does for me.”

“I’m not like you.” I seethed.

It came out angrier than I’d intended but…

I didn’t like that she didn’t care about this stranger. I didn’t like that a man just trying to feed himself was seen as a villain and a crook here. Is that how she’d seen me when I first came? Like some rotten thief?

Maybe the people in the village were right. Maybe her sisters were too. Maybe we were too different to co-exist, maybe she was too odd and maybe I was too soft. For once, when I looked at her I saw a stranger—a frightening thing. Like a milky white spider—she just felt wrong to me.

The silence yawned between us as I stared at her.

I turned and left.

“Ezra,” Aurelia said behind me.

I ignored her. I wanted out of this forest for today. Maybe for forever.

“Ezra!” She shouted.

I left her there at the grave of the man she thought deserved to die.

☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼

@eldritchx

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#writing community #writing #authors #my writing #writers on tumblr #book quotes #pirate book #romantasy #historical fantasy #writeblr #the hallowed wilds #chapter 6 #my wrtitng #writing update #fanfic writing #fic writing #snippet

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gonnachasethestars · 1 year ago

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Readmored for length, tw for injury, and tw for emotional abuse from family. If there's anything else I need to tag let me know and I will!

Why was climbing up a trellis such a chore? A person would think after all the times the tanuki had done it, things would get easier. But he was still panting, as he climbed through the window in the hallway of the second floor. His little brother came out of his room, likely with the intention of going downstairs to do the final cleanup for the night. It had been Kounosuke's turn, but there were photographs to be taken.

As usual, he'd asked his little brother to lie for him.

"You really should lose weight if you want to climb up mom's trellis." Spoke Yukiharu, who was just getting ready for cleanup.

"I'm not fat. I'm just a liiiiiittle bit chubby." Kounosuke had more important things on his mind right now. "You're not gonna tell them I was gone, are you?"

The smaller tanuki shook his head, as a no. That put a smile on Kounosuke's face, as he hugged the little guy. That was when he went off to his room, to settle down for the night. To look over his photographs. He had a contest to win, and a scholarship to earn. Curious, he looks over what's in his camera, compared to what he had printed.

Nothing really special. The thought came in his mind to give up, but he had to tell himself to stick with something, even if he didn't have a natural talent for it.

He caught a glimpse of himself in his mirror while placing the pictures back on the desk. Well. Plenty of men were into fat guys, right?

Glancing through the magazine, photographs were studied. They were all so... good. Kounosuke felt as though his angles were off, or his shots were boring. Who needed twenty photographs of the same beetle? To be sure he didn't miss the deadline, he checked the date, which he hadn't done before.

...It couldn't be right.

Setting the magazine down, Kounosuke prepares to go to the bathroom to wash his glasses off. Clearly, they were dirty, and causing him to see things the wrong way. But before he could reach it, an ear twitched. He could hear his parents arguing all the way up here. What was it this time?

"Where is he this time? He's supposed to be cleaning down here." His mother always did have a demanding voice.

"How should I know? Let him be a kid." Said his father. "I was the same way at his age."

His mother sighed, and shook her head. "He's going to be living with his little brother all his life if he doesn't learn responsibility! What if he's a lost cause?"

Though Kounosuke was only listening, he could still almost hear his father's anger.

"Like I was?" Said Mr. Kuri. "How can we expect Kounosuke not to be a fuck up like me?"

That was where Kounosuke stopped listening. Everything hurt. What was he supposed to think, when those who claimed to love him unconditionally didn't feel that way at all? Quietly walking back to his room, his arm is to his face. Yeah, he was alone. No one could see him crying his eyes out.

He knew they were right. He was useless. If he stayed here, he'd be sponging off of Yukiharu the rest of his life.

For a short time, he buries his face in a pillow. He didn't want anyone to hear, in spite of his silence, that he couldn't stop crying. He knew his friends thought he was a failure, but he'd never heard that kind of treatment from his parents. Not to this extent. He knew his father cared way more about watching sports than spending time with him. He knew his mother always got on him about watching the shop.

But nothing like this.

No. He refused.

Though the tears continued to pour, he got up, and through blurry vision, began packing a bag. He refused to spend the rest of his life that way. Even if it took him a long time to get back on his feet, he'd prove to them he could do something. Maybe someday he'd write them a letter. If they even cared enough to read it.

He'd be just fine on his own. He could start with something simple. Waiter or dishwasher. Maybe both. He didn't care if he had to work three jobs, he'd find an apartment. He'd get out of this village, and he'd make something of himself. He'd be someone. Not the repair man's fat loser of a son.

Bag packed, it's soon on his back, and he's prepared. Just enough money for a bus ticket to Kazenari, and a train ticket to the next city over. No one would ever think to look for him there, assuming anybody even noticed he was gone. There was no way he could make anyone happy, at least, not as he was now.

Sliding out into the night air, he's finally calmed his breathing. The tanuki begins climbing down the trellis, soon...

S N A P !

Maybe he had put a couple pounds on over the summer. The trellis snapped under his weight. Upon landing, he couldn't even breathe. He'd just fallen, having landed on his right foot on impact. It hurt like hell, and there he was, crying again. Moments pass, until he can finally breathe again. Then, he forces himself to his feet, to discover how it felt to put weight on that foot.

It was like stepping on glass. God damn it.

His little brother must have heard it, the only one nearby, finishing up the end of night shop cleaning. Due to the night, hopefully Yukiharu couldn't see him crying. He didn't want his little brother's last memories of him to be him bawling.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone." Kounosuke said.

His little brother nodded, and Kounosuke pulled him into a hug.

"I love you, lil' bro. I know I don't say it enough but... yeah."

Yukiharu began walking back towards the shop. God it hurt to walk, but he pushed through the pain, and eventually, he even stopped crying. The sadness, and pain turned into a fire. Determination to make something of himself.

To be somebody.

#save #drabble #[it's the same night so ifdhs I had to write my take on it BT]#v; maybe not just a fat loser #emotional abuse tw #injury tw #ask to tag

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messers-moony · 3 years ago

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King and Queen | S.B

Paring: Sirius Black X Fem!Potter!Reader, James Potter X Fem!Twin!Reader

Summary: James goes through a lot during his time at Hogwarts but his sister is always by his side.

Inspiration: Click

A/N: If this comes off insensitive to anyone please let me know and I will remove this.

James Potter was a handful. From the minute he was born, he had this gleam in his hazel eyes that raged and burned with trouble. His twin, Y/n Potter, was almost the opposite. The soft smile that laid on her features and the glitter of calamity in her eyes. Euphemia and Fleamont were in for a lot the minute their twins were born.

Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder is most comparative to having a web browser up with one too many tabs. James had always been unable to focus and was naturally messy. Truth be told, he thought it was normal, just as everyone else did. It wasn’t until his second year at Hogwarts did he realize something was genuinely wrong with him.

Remus told him that he had this muggle thing called “dyslexia,” which was a difficulty in interpreting words, letters, and other symbols. However, it never affected his overall intelligence because everyone knew that Remus Lupin was indeed and wholly brilliant. It got James wondering, did his inability to focus, be organized, and hyperactivity have a deeper meaning?

His twin - Y/n - was quite the opposite. She made quick friends with Remus, Sirius, and Peter, who were close friends of her twin. Y/n was top of their class, creating a friendly competition with Remus, but she was always able to focus. Often she would hyper-focus, which would leave her working for over five hours at a time without realizing it. In those times, James would have to snap her out of it.

Over the summer, James expressed his concerns to his parents. He was talking about how this could be a real issue he’s facing using Remus’ dyslexia as an example. Eventually, they gave in, letting James go to a muggle doctor. James had to fill out a questionnaire that would come back with his results in one week. That week was probably the longest week of his life. Nonetheless, his test results had come back positive.

Fleamont and Euphemia would be lying if they were surprised. After hearing about the disorder, it was almost the definition of their eldest son. Fortunately for James, the muggles had come up with a cure - no, not a cure - dammit, what was it again?

Impede the symptoms! That’s what those muggle pills do. James was required to take two pills a day, one in the morning and once at night. Y/n was in charge of making sure he did so because - more times than he’d like to admit - he would forget everything if it wasn’t for Y/n.

In third year, James was as energetic as ever while getting on the Hogwarts Express, “Aren’t you excited, Y/n?!”

She chuckled, “Yes, but Merlin, you don’t need to literally jump with joy.”

“But I’m excited!”

“I know that.”

They made their way to the compartment that held Remus, who was reading a book. James sat in front of him while Y/n took her seat beside Remus, “‘Ello Remus.”

“Hey, Potter pair.”

Y/n sighed, and James groaned, “That nickname needs to go away.”

“I quite like it.” Remus stated smugly, “Suits you both.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” Y/n accused falsely, “It means that wherever one of you are, the other isn’t that far behind.” Remus replied.

James had zoned out already, and Y/n snapped in his face, “Take your pills?”

“Forgot.” James muttered guiltily, “Oh Godric.” She whispered.

“Pills?”

“James went to a muggle doctor this summer.”

Remus quirked an eyebrow, “Did you now?”

“Got diagnosed with ADHD.” James informed, and Remus looked amiss, “Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.”

“Ah, I’ve heard of that.” Remus said, and James smiled sheepishly, “I feel kinda odd, like out of place.”

“Why?”

“Dunno, just, why can't I be normal?”

“You are normal, James.” Y/n reassured, “And anyone who says differently obviously doesn’t care about you.”

The compartment door slammed open, “Who doesn’t care about who?”

Remus snorted, “Ever the dramatics, huh, mate?”

“‘Course.” Sirius flopped down beside James, “It comes with my charm and devilishly good looks.”

“Ah, yes.” Y/n said, chuckling, “Don’t you see how I’m swooning for you?”

The back of her palm was against her forehead, “Come off it.” James swatted at her and then elbowed Sirius, “Better not make my sister swoon.”

Sirius chuckled and shrugged, “Can’t help it. I’m just that irresistible.”

The four of them laughed at Sirius’ dramatics and continued talking about the new term. Remus and Y/n were talking about books they couldn’t wait to read. Remus was even kind enough to gift her some muggle books he bought over the summer holiday. Sirius and James bickered about what pranks to do this year, along with which ones were better.

Third-year was fun. It was a year of flooding corridors, turning Slytherin robes red and blasting music in the common room after a Gryffindor victory. James was a brilliant Quidditch Chaser, and Y/n was a fantastic Seeker. Nothing was quite like the Potter pair. Something about them was just unforgettable.

Maybe that’s why Sirius was so fond of her. Something about the Potters made people around them smile on the hardest of days. They made sure that every moment was a night to remember. Every memory was worth reliving. So adventurous, so reckless, yet so kind and loving.

By the time fifth year rolled around, Sirius Orion Black had fallen off a cliff into a lake called love. Sirius completely submerged himself in love for Y/n Potter. The younger twin by just 20 minutes, but something about her was so divine. Was it her silk and glittering h/c hair? No - maybe it was her gleaming e/c eyes. Perhaps it was for her strive for adventure and extreme kindness.

Nonetheless, Sirius fell hard.

And who better to tell than James Potter himself?

Causally - as usual - Sirius opened the door to the Marauders dorm. It was empty aside from the brunet boy with glasses on the bridge of his nose. His hazel eyes were focused on a textbook - Potions textbook - maybe it was to impress Lily. Sirius couldn’t care less, so he pulled the chair out in front of the desk and sat before James.

“Mate, I need your help.”

“Running from Filch?”

“No. Something- Something worse.”

“Something worse?” The textbook shut loudly.

Sirius nodded, “Way worse.”

“Alright then, come into my office.” James teased, and Sirius grinned.

It was silent, “I’m in love with your sister.”

James sputtered, “Excuse me?”

“I’m in love with Y/n.”

“No, no.” James waved his hand horizontally, “I heard you.”

“Then what else would you like me to say?” Sirius asked.

“Literally anything else.”

“Sorry, mate.” Sirius muttered, “I- I really didn’t mean to.”

James chuckled and wiped his hand across his face, “I suppose you can’t really stop love, huh?”

“You really can’t.” Sirius agreed, “I tried. I promise I tried.”

“It’s not that big of a deal late.” James assured, and Sirius looked at him with wide eyes, “I trust you just-“

“Just?”

“I’m worried about her.” James completed, “I- I worry about her every night.”

Sirius softened, “It’s like you with Regulus-“ James continued before Sirius could interject, “And don’t pretend. Your silencing charms are bloody terrible.”

“I know you still care for Regulus, you worry about him every night, and I do the same for Y/n, except my silencing charms are better.” James teased sightly, “I trust you, Sirius. You’re the brother I never got but always wanted. You know, the brother I can play Quidditch with, rough around with, the brother who’s just as sneaky and mischievous as I.”

“But Y/n is still my blood. She's my twin, my best friend, my partner in crime. She was the mind behind my pranks before Remus.” James elaborated and then smirked, “Remus and Y/n make a great team, ya’ know?”

“They are quite brilliant.”

“Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, take care of her?” James looked like the eleven-year-old boy again, “Don’t make her a fling and don’t make this temporary.”

“Y/n is a strong woman, and she isn’t for weak men. I’ll be honest,” James chuckled, “She doesn’t need a man. She doesn’t even really need me. I need her more than she needs me. Regardless, take care of her. She deserves a man worthy of her. Someone that’ll get her ice cream at 4 a.m. because she’s craving it. Someone that’ll go on sporadic trips with her. Someone that’ll understand that after a hard day, all she wants is a book and coffee.”

Sirius was appalled; he’d never seen James look so passionate, “Growing up, mum always told me to be a gentleman. I know it may not seem like it sometimes, but she always raised me as one. To hold a door for them, push and push in their chairs for them, give them my jacket even if I’ll freeze.”

“Those kinda things. Dad said I should practice on Y/n, and I did. From then, Y/n always got treated like a queen, and she deserves no less. I won't lie, my parents treat me like a king too, and I don’t want any less either.” James explained, “Be the king that’s worthy of my sister.”

“That’s all I ask of you.”

Sirius nodded, “I’d be honored to serve her as my queen.”

“And if you show her no less, she’ll spit you out like chewing gum.”

He shuttered, “I hate how accurate that phrase is.”

James laughed, “I know her more than you think.”

By sixth year they were dating. Sirius would be lying if he wasn’t eternally shitting himself when Y/n said yes to going to Hogsmeade with him, alone, as a date. In fact, James almost wanted to throw him a party for finally not being a little bitch and asking out his sister. This party consisted of a bottle of firewhiskey and chocolate because that’s all that was in the boy's dormitory. But a party nonetheless.

When Lily rejected James for the last time before graduation, he was utterly heartbroken. He’d spent and dedicated seven years of his life to this gorgeous woman. Despite all his efforts and all his charms, she still wasn’t interested. James tried. He really tried. He wanted Lily so bad. His heart broke when she said her final words of goodbye.

“I’m sorry, Potter. Maybe in another life, just not this one.”

Tears had ebbed at the corner of his eyes as he made his way back into the castle from the Black Lake. In the common room, where he felt like he had just got dowsed in water. James made his way to the girl's dormitory. His hand curled into a fist and knocked lightly on the wooden door. Shuffling was heard from the other side, and the door finally opened, revealing his sister.

Without warning, James crashed into her arms, forcing his nose in the crook of her neck, “Woah.”

“Are you okay, James?”

His body shook with sobs as he shook his head no, “It’s okay. Let’s go lay down, okay?”

Gently she led him to her bed. He curled up beneath the navy blue comforter and placed his head on the silk pillow sheets. If he tried hard enough, he could forget the way Lily’s hair smelt today or the way her green eyes glistened in the sun. Now engulfed in his sister's scent, trying to remove every feeling for Lily possible, he dug his nose deeper into the comforter.

Y/n sat beside him, her back to the headboard, and ran her fingers through James’ already untied hair, “What's got you so worked up?”

“It’s done.”

“What’s done?”

“L- Lily and I.” James choked, “She- She really doesn’t want me.”

A new wave of tears overcame him, and Y/n continued to try and soothe him, “Well, she’s a tosser.”

James narrowed his eyes, “James, you know I love her. She's my best friend, but if she can’t see what’s right in front of her, then she’s an idiot.”

“Can I- Can I stay here tonight?” He asked hesitantly.

“You sure you don’t want me to stay at your dorm?” Y/n questioned, “Because you know who sleeps here.”

“Will you stay with me?”

“Till the end.”

After a couple of minutes, Y/n and James made their way down the steps to the boy's side. They walked up more steps and finally made it to the boy's dormitory. James collapsed on his bed in the left corner of the room, and Sirius perked up at seeing his girlfriend enter the room.

“Whatcha doin’ here, love?”

“Staying with my brother.”

Sirius nodded and stood up to hug her, gently pecking her forehead, “If you guys need anything, let me know, ‘kay?”

“Thanks, Siri.”

Gently Y/n pulled back the maroon curtain and sat down beside him again. James reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers. Something they used to do as kids. When a thunderstorm would go by, James would always seek sanctuary in his sister's comfort.

He fell asleep that night, knowing he was safe, loved, and knew that someone cared about him. Even if Lily didn’t love him, at least someone else did. He had his boys, and he had his sister. Right now, that’s all he needed beside him: Screw Lily and her idiot decision skills. Y/n was right; she was a complete tosser.

When Hogwarts was over, James and Y/n got a flat together. Sirius, Remus, and Peter got one only a floor above. Realistically this wasn’t the plan. James always planned to buy a house with Lily, but he was still healing, and after everything going on, it was vital for him to hold his sister close to him.

Euphemia and Fleamont barely lived to see their children graduate. Not too long afterward had died due to the horrid dragon pocks. It devastated both twins and Sirius. While Sirius wasn’t their true child, he very well could’ve. Euphemia noticed Sirius’s lingering stares on Y/n and the loopy smile that graced his features.

She was the one who got Sirius to man up. She was the one who gave him advice. She was the one who told him what books were her favorite, which chocolate she liked the best, her favorite quills. Euphemia was one of the main components in getting Sirius to date her daughter, and when it finally happened, the parents couldn’t have been happier.

James’ ADHD still remained even in his adulthood, making regular everyday tasks much harder and twice as long. Most of the time, the pills were able to help him complete those tasks. But sometimes, when Y/n wasn’t there to remind him, he would miss his days. When Y/n got home from work, she had barely taken off her shoes to see the apartment spotless.

It was a pleasant surprise, but James was never really one to clean, not that she really minded, but the apartment didn’t have a speck of dust on it. Hesitantly she put her keys on the island along with her bag.

“James!”

“Yes, Y/n?”

He appeared in the kitchen where Y/n was, “Um, did you clean the apartment?”

“Yes, I did!” James nodded enthusiastically.

Y/n sighed and gave her brother a sweet smile, “What did you not do today?”

“So, you know how you told me to go to the pharmacy?”

“Mhm.” Y/n nodded, “Indeed I do.”

“Well, they were out of my meds.” James informed, “I have to wait a week.”

“Oh, Merlin.”

“On the bright side!” James was already causing her a headache, “It’s gonna be a fantastic week! I’ve got so many things planned for us! We’re gonna go-“

James continued to ramble as Y/n grabbed her keys, bag and slipped back on her shoes, “I’m going to Sirius’!”

“Thought you were my sister.” James faked pouting, and Y/n smiled, “I love you, but you’re crazy.”

“I love you too!” He yelled as she closed the door.

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sineala · 4 years ago

Note

How would you say fandom culture has changed over the years? What are some differences you notice between older and younger fandom folks?

I’ve been thinking for a while about how to answer this, and I’m not sure I have a really good answer, but I’m going to try.

I’ve been in fandom since approximately 1995. Maybe 1994. At that point, the world wide web was a relatively new part of the internet, and the fandoms I was in had most of their activity on privately-hosted mailing lists (predating eGroups/OneList/Yahoo Groups) and on Usenet newsgroups, with fiction beginning to be available on websites as part of either fandom-specific or pairing-specific archives as well as authors’ individual pages. Fanfiction.net did not yet exist. LiveJournal did not exist. AO3 definitely did not exist. If you wanted real-time chat, there was IRC. I was coming in basically at the tail end of zine fandom; zines were no longer the only way of distributing fanfiction, as fandom started to move online. So I have a selection of zines from 90s-era Western media fandoms but even by then zines weren’t where I was doing most of my reading.

I think in terms of generally “what it was like to be in fandom,” the big-picture stuff hasn’t changed. Fandom still produces creative fanwork and likes to, y’know, get together and talk about fandom. Also, almost every fight or complaint that fandom has about something is a thing that has been going on for actual years. People complain that, say, the kudos button is ruining comment culture because back in the LJ days the only way you could comment on a story was, well, by leaving an actual comment, or sending an email on a mailing list, and this might mean that people who would have otherwise commented have left a kudos instead. But back in the LJ and mailing list days, people were complaining that commenting was going downhill since the days of zines, when in order to comment on a story you had to write a real paper letter and mail it and because you had to do that, the quality of feedback was so much better than you got nowadays because people could just dash off a quick email or comment. You get the idea. Top/bottom wars are not new either. Pairing wars are not new. If you’ve been in fandom a while, you will pretty much have seen all the fights already. I think one thing that is new, though, is the fandom awareness of things like privilege and intersectionality and various -isms, as well as things like “providing warnings might be nice” (do you know how much unwarned deathfic I have read? a lot!) and I sure won’t say we’re perfect at any of this now, but I think fandom is trying way way more about all that stuff than it used to.

There are some fights we actually don’t have anymore, as far as I can tell. I feel like it’s been years since I’ve seen the “real person fiction is wrong” battle, but also I don’t hang out in a whole lot of RPF fandoms, so it’s possible that’s still going and I just don’t see it.

There also used to be a recurring debate about whether gay relationships that were canonical were slash or not. When slash started, obviously this wasn’t a question because there weren’t canonical gay relationships in fandoms, period. But as gay characters began to appear in media, people started to wonder “does slash mean all same-sex relationships, or does slash mean only non-canonical same-sex relationships?” Now, you may be reading this and think that sounds like an incredibly weird thing to get hung up on, but that’s because what appears to have happened is that the term “ship” (originally from X-Files Mulder/Scully fandom) has, as far as I can tell, come up and eaten most of the rest of the terminology. Now people will just say, “oh, I ship that.” For any pairing, gay or not, canonical or not. Fandom seems to have decided that for the most part it no longer actually needs a term specific to same-sex relationships as a genre.

Similarly, there are a few genres of fic that we used to have also pretty much don’t exist anymore. There are also plenty of genres that are well-entrenched now that are also extremely recent -- A/B/O comes to mind. But there are some kinds of fic we don’t write a lot of now. Like, I haven’t seen smarm in years! I also haven’t seen We’re Not Gay We Just Love Each Other in a while. There was also a particular style of slash writing where you’d basically have to explain, in detail, what made you think that these particular characters could be anything other than straight. You’d have to motivate this decision. You’d have to look at their canonical heterosexual relationships and come up with a way to explain why all those had happened in order to reconcile how this one guy could have romantic feelings for another guy. When had he figured out he wasn’t straight? Who might he have been with before? How does he interact with people in ways that make you think he’s not straight? That kind of thing. You had to, essentially, show your work. And these days a lot of fanfic is just like, “Okay, Captain America is bisexual, let’s go!” It’s... different.

Fandom also used to skew older, is my sense. A lot older. I don’t know, actually, if it really was older, but I get the sense now that there are some younger people who are surprised that adults are still in fandom. I have seen people saying these days that they think they’re too old for fanfiction because they are not in middle school anymore. And I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that the barriers to access fandom are a lot lower than they used to be. You used to basically have to be an adult with disposable income (or know an adult with disposable income who was willing to help you out; but even then if you were reading explicit fiction you also had to swear you were 18+, usually by sending in an age statement to whoever you were buying the zine from or to the mods of the list you wanted to join, so a lot of fandom was very much age-gated). Internet access was not widely available. Even if you had internet access, you maybe didn’t have your own email address, so you couldn’t sign up for mailing lists; free email providers didn’t exist. If you wanted to buy zines, you had to have money to buy them. If you wanted to go to cons, you had to be able to afford the cost of the con, travel to the con, et cetera. If you wanted to have a website you had to know HTML. Social media did not exist. You want to draw art? Guess what, you’re probably drawing it on paper! You might be able to upload a picture to your website if you have a digital camera or a scanner, but both of those things are expensive, and also a lot of people don’t have the capability or the money to download pictures from the internet (some people have data caps with overage charges, and some people have text-only connections!), so they won’t get to see it. Maybe you can sell your piece at a con! You want to make a fanvid? We called them songvids, but, anyway, you know how you’re doing that? You’re going to hook two VCRs together and smash the play and record buttons very fast! If you want anyone else to watch them, you are either making them a tape personally and mailing it to them or bringing your vids to a convention. Maybe you can digitize them and upload them, but it’s going to take people hours to download them!

(Every three hours my ISP would kick me off the internet and I’d have to dial in again. If it was a busy time of day, it might take me 20 or 30 minutes to get a connection again. And that was assuming no one else in the house needed to use the phone line. Imagine if your modem went out every three hours now.)

And now, for the cost of my internet connection, I can read pretty much whatever fanfiction I want, whenever I want it. I can see all the fanart I want! I can watch vids! Podfic exists now! Fanmixes exist! Gifsets and moodboards exist! If I want to write fic I can write it with programs that are completely free, and as soon as I post it everyone in the entire world can read it. If I want to draw or make vids that may require some additional investment, but I may also be able to do it with things I already have. Do you have any idea how good we all have it?

There are a couple of kinds of fan activity that don’t seem to exist anymore, though, and I miss them. I know that roleplaying still goes on, but I feel like these days most people who do real-time text roleplay have switched to things like Discord. I know that in the LJ days, RP communities were popular. But I really miss MU*s (MUDs, MUSHes, MOOs, MUXes..), which were servers for real-time text-based RP with a bunch of... hmm... features to aid RP. There were virtual rooms with text descriptions, and objects in virtual rooms with descriptions, and your character had a description, and they could interact with the objects as well as with other characters, and you could program things to change descriptions or emit various kinds of text or take you to different rooms, and so on. Just to, y’know, enhance the atmosphere. It was fun and it was where I learned to RP and I’m sad they’re pretty much gone now.

I also don’t think I see a lot of fanfiction awards in fandoms. Wonder where they went.

Going back to the previous point, the barriers to actually consuming the canon you are fannish about are way, way, way lower now. You can pretty much take it for granted that if right now someone tells you about a shiny new fandom, there will be a way to read that book or watch that show or movie right now. Possibly for free! Of course you can watch it! Why wouldn’t you be able to?

This was absolutely, absolutely not the case before. I’m currently in Marvel Comics fandom. If there is a comic I want to read, I can read it right now on the internet. I have subscribed to Marvel Unlimited and I can read pretty much every comic that is older than three months old; the newer ones cost extra money. But I can do it all from the comfort of my own home right now. I was also, actually, in Marvel Comics fandom in the nineties. If I wanted to read a comic, I had to go to a comic book store and hope they had it in stock; if they didn’t, I had to try another store. Not a lot of comics were available in trade paperback and they definitely weren’t readable on the internet. I used to read a lot of Gambit h/c fic set after Uncanny X-Men #350. I never found a copy of UXM #350. I still haven’t! But I did eventually read it on Unlimited.

Being in TV show fandoms also had similar challenges. Was the show you were watching still on the air? No? Then you’d better hope you could find it in reruns, or know someone who had tapes of it that they could copy for you, otherwise you weren’t watching that show. It was, I think, pretty common for people to be in fandoms for shows they hadn’t seen, because they had no way to see the show, but they loved all the fanfic. The Sentinel had a whole lot of fans like that, both because I think it took a while for it to end up in reruns and because overseas distribution was probably poor. So you’d get people who read the fic and wrote fic based on the other fic they’d read, which meant that you got massive, massive amounts of fanon appearing that people just assumed was in the show because it was a weirdly specific detail that appeared in someone’s fic once. Like “Jim and Blair’s apartment has a small water heater” (not actually canonical) or “Blair is a vegetarian” (there’s an episode where his mother visits and IIRC cooks him one of his favorite meals, which is beef tongue).

Like, I was in The Professionals fandom for years. I read all the fic. I hadn’t seen the show. As far as I know, it never aired in the US, and it certainly never had any kind of US VHS or DVD release. I’d seen a couple songvids. I eventually saw a couple episodes in maybe 2003, and that was because my dad special-ordered a commercial VHS tape from the UK and paid someone to convert it from PAL to NTSC. I didn’t get to see the whole show until several years later when I got a region-free DVD player someone in fandom sent me burned copies of the UK DVD releases and then I special-ordered the commercial release of the DVDs from the UK myself. But if I were a new fan and wanted to watch Pros right now? It is on YouTube! For free!

I think also one of the things about fandom that’s not immediately evident to new fans is the way in which it is permanent and/or impermanent. There are probably people whose first fannish experience is on Tumblr or who only read fanfic on FFN and who have no idea what they would do if either site, say, just shut down. But if you’ve been in fandom a while, you’ve been through, say, Discord, Tumblr, Twitter, Pillowfort, Imzy, DW, JournalFen, LJ, GeoCities, IRC, mailing lists. And sure, if Tumblr closed, it would be inconvenient. But fandom would pack up and move somewhere else. You would find it again. It would, eventually, be okay. Similarly, if you’ve been in a lot of fandoms, if you’ve made a lot of friends, drifting through fandoms is like that. You’ll make a friend in 1998 because you were in the same fandom, and then you might go your own ways, and ten years later you might be in another fandom with them again! It happens.

But the flip side of that is that I think a lot of older fans have learned not to trust in the permanence of any particular site. If you like a story, you save it as soon as you read it. If you like a piece of art, you save it. If you like a vid, you save it. Because you don’t know when the site it’s on will be gone for good. I have, like, twenty years of lovingly-curated fanfic. And I feel like people who have only been in fandom since AO3 existed might not understand how much AO3 is a game-changer compared to what we had before. It’s a site where you can put your fic up and you don’t have to worry that the webhost is going out of business, or that the site might delete your work because they don’t allow gay fiction or explicit fiction or fiction written in second person or fiction for fandoms where the creator doesn’t like fanfiction, or whatever. Because all of those things have absolutely happened. But, I mean, I still save pretty much everything I like, even on AO3, just in case.

So, basically, yeah, fandom is a whole lot more accessible than it used to be. I think fandom is pretty much still fandom, but it’s a lot easier to get into, and that has made it way more open to people who wouldn’t have been able to be in fandom before. There is so, so much more now than there ever was before, and I think that’s great.

#Anonymous #replies

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beann-e · 4 years ago

Text

Haikyu characters reacting to their s/o screaming back at them

Nekoma Characters reacting to their s/o Screaming back at them

Read Part One Here

kenma

-it would not take much -_-

- Kenma doesn’t even notice he’s yelling at you or much less using his raised voice when talking to you

-he’s so used to screaming at kuroo through his mic that when he’s finally pissed off and bubbling ; it just happens after you try to ask him what he wants for dinner at the wrong time

-post time skip

“ go left “ The sound of the controller clicking swirled through the room as your boyfriends eyes followed the screen at every turn his character took “ kuroo I said go left “

“ uh which one ? “

kenmas face went into a straight line as kuroos body stiffened knowing he hadn’t been listening in the first place “ no wait which way I meant —which way “

“kuroo I said go left “

“ oh “

“ yeah — go left “ the strain in your boyfriends voice was evident

it showing off the sliver of annoyance he was trying to hold back knowing that you were somewhere in the same house

he hated for you to see him anything other than calm

Anytime he showed any bit of annoyance with you or even showed he was about to give you attitude you quickly shut it down. It was obvious to him who was the dominant one in the relationship and he had no problem with it

Honestly he was scared of what you would think when you finally saw him fly off the handle. Of course you’d seen him have an attitude he was a gamer that was normalized to have one after a lost game but, it wasn’t often he showed you that side because kenma doesn’t do losing

so what would happen if he finally got ticked off so badly due to something that was ‘just a game’ to you would you be scared?

he couldn’t help but think that you would run for the hills and then screw him over in the breakup and tell everyone he still wears tidy whities and forgets to go pee during gameplays unless you remind him by asking had he peed all day

“ hey du— “

“ don’t talk until you kill the leftover guys so we can win“

“ ken you don’t think I can multitask “ kuroos laugh fell into the room over kenmas headphones “ I used to do it everyday i was the captain of the vb team, I keep you in line “

“ sure sure — but are you watching your corners “

“ I keep everyone healthy , and i’m hot , plus I’m about to win this gam— I died “

the silence in the moment spoke volumes before kenma could

his hand grabbing the controller harshly as he refused to blink seeing the word loser flash in bright letters on his screen

Body growing hot and sweaty while he tried to hold in his anger and process what just happened so he could determine the next best course of action

Knowing , He just knew

The amount of trouble he’d get in if you walked in to hear him screaming at kuroo shouting words you hated when he used

He was trying to hold it all in

really he was

he just needed some quiet first just some silence to figure out how to calm himself down his brain going over serveral images of kuroo dead at the bottom of stairs maybe even him getting hit too hard with one of kenmas sets when they played 4 on 4matches

Anger only growing when he heard a voice pour in that he couldn’t figure out who it belonged to much less cared

“ hey ke— “

“ Do you ever fucking listen “ his voice was hard and threatening “ do you ever just shut the fuck up and “

he threw his headphones to his keyboard “ and listen — no you don’t— you go quiet and now here i am upset because you simply don’t listen — answer the questions i’m asking you— you fucking sea creature“

his body only growing hotter as his neck got red eyes darting for a person to scream at and take his anger out on

“ answer me “ he screamed pain eteched in his voice as he finally turned to find you

a look crossing over his face before he blinked looking to the floor then up at you in confusion before turning back to his screen that glowed in the dark room anger hitting him all over again when he saw kuroos wide open mouth and their dead avatars laying on the ground

“ Why the fuck — how the —- I always fucking lose when that asshole —that miscalculated creation— whenever he plays with me it’s so serious to me — i make money off of it i make — i get deals and i — I can’t — can’t lose them they’ll think i’m not good enough— i“

he slammed his fist into the wall speaking low

“ I hate fucking losing “

he turned to you “ it’s not nice y/n — I tried to fucking do your shitty routine of calming myself down first but it just “

he moved closer to you with anger pouring from his body

your eyes wide in a look of fear when he grabbed your face pointing to his screen “ look — “

he screamed in your face when you didn’t tear your eyes away from his “ BABE I SAID LOOK“

your eyes never leaving his as he just grew angrier at your incompetence

“ so your not fucking listening to me either “ his voice grew questioning “ are your ears dirty just like kuroos ? huh ? are y’all apart of some shitty cult for mute wannabes “

his hand gripped tighter on your cheeks “ i’m so stupid your just as fucking dumb as that asshole — fucking — I bet you wanna date him huh — “

his mind ran wild as he thought of the two of you together insecurity blooming

“ you want a loser like him over me right ? you have to like kuroo — look at him you want to date kuroo right “

he laughed “ fucking slu— “

“ finish it and we’ll be playing our own game of kenma getting his ass beat until he finally gives up and cries “

your eyebrows quirked up as you held eye contact with him “ trust me you’ll lose “

you looked at the male in front of you in disgust

“ get your shitty cheeto dusted gamer hands off of me “

his hands loosened their hold on you

“ all the way off you dirty imbecile “

you scoffed as he dropped his hand in a rush of fear

“ I bet your dirty ass didn’t even wash them after I made you pee earlier — yeah made — you wanted to get back to that sweaty chair that badly ? “

his cheeks grew hot as he blinked himself out of his trance only to see what he’d gotten himself into

“ who do you think you are talking to like that “

your stare making him shake even more in fear

You always scared him when you were upset wether you were taller or not your annoyance alone at an action he’d done scared him enough

Your words stood tall and poured in on him making him feel like he was suffocating but, he knew he needed to hear this. You only did this when his anger was out of control like he knew it could be. He stayed on his games all day and all night which was the only way to provide your shared income

at least until he could get his company up and running he had yet to sign contracts because he said he needed to read them first and reading took too much work

this was how he paid your bills. It stressed him out knowing that any day someone on the internet could call him a loser and that same day your steady flow of money may trickle in slower than usual

So when he lost a game any game even something as simple as Mario or even kirby it pissed him off because he couldn’t help but shoulder all the responsibility of taking care of you and himself. He didn’t want to be the reason you lost that stability and all of this catered into his rage. A rage only you could catch and calm down with your sheer words.

“ who do you think you are “ your voice came out low and calm as you spoke down on him “ answer me “

“n-no on — no one babe “

“ don’t babe me “ your hand pressed on his chest “ you don’t deserve that not after you talked to me that way “

“ I -i’m sorry “

“ for what “

“ f-for talking to you like that and “ his voice came out soft as he spoke

“ I cannot hear you “

“ fuck i’m sorry for talking to you that way —and for using force —force and grabbing you like that “

“and i’m just expected to forgive you? you know I hate this — you know this and yet you keep doing it? why ? why do you keep shouldering this and then lashing out “

“ p-please “

“ mm — i’m not seeing it ken— I mean you treat me like one of your other asshole friends and then on top of it you grabbed my face this time— you’ve never gone that far “

“ y-yes I know — I know “

“ so you can see my problem with just accepting your apology right “

“ y-yes ma’am “

“ oh — “ you laughed as you spoke “ now we’re using nice names huh “

“ i—I thought it’d work“ he pouted

“ I wanna forgive you ken “ you looked at him as his head dropped in embarrassment cheeks going red

“ I really do babe but “

“ I swear I won’t do it again y/n “

you thought for a moment staring at the boy in front of you who was pissing his pants in fear

“ y-y/n I swear I didn’t know it was you I was angry and I —I thought kuroo was talkin— “

“ but you realized it was me? “

he paused

“ you even looked from me and back to your screen so you knew correct “

“ yes “

“ and yet you still yelled at me and grabbed my face “

“ really i’m sorry— I wasn’t there all the way “

you took a deep breath before looking to his computer eyes made up in a squint and then trailing back to the boy in front of you

“ ok ken “ his eyes glowed in happiness

“ you— your forgiving me “ he laughed almost mocking you knowing he’d never been let go this quickly you usually took away his gaming system until he’d learned to calm down

he even started ‘doing’ yoga, if you count playing the youtube videos on the tv while he played on his apple watch that you’d forgotten to take, just to fool you into giving his game back “ this easily“

your eyes moved pointedly to his as he fell back into submission

“ i’m sorry I just meant you arent more upset “

“ well i’m deciding that since it was the first time you ever went to that extent of yelling at me I’m gonna let you off the hook “

you smiled “ also I thought you already got enough punishment “

“ h-huh “

you let your head move up to face his computer screen in a slight nod his eyes lighting up before his face fell in sadness

He never meant to fall submissive let alone show who was the dominant one in the relationship to anyone outside of you especially not with kuroo on the other line

“ I don’t think kuroo minds much babe it’s ok “ you said happily changing the whole way you carried yourself earlier and the way you spoke your body easing after beating into kenma

“ no trust me he doe— “

“ goddamn “

your eyes fell onto his friends open mouthed smile

“ and you just let ‘em do you like that “

kenmas eyebrows came together in sadness

“ damn ken —“

your eyes went hard on kuroo

“ and do you think your any better ? because from what i’ve heard churro it seems to me like you couldnt even keep your own team on a leash much less that lev kid so ? “

“ god “ kuroo coughed shifting in his seat whispering softly to himself “ so hot “

he shook his head before speaking again a little bit louder “ uh no— no I completely understand y/n —god i just know your fun “ he laughed

“ kenma keep listening to your s/o don’t mind me “

he moved to log off speaking under his breath “ so fucking scary —swear i’m bringing ‘em in to scare my vb kiddos— shit “

you shook your head in confusion “ uh wha—”

“ he had a — he had a crush on you and yeah I”

“ oh well “ you moved to throw your arms around him in happiness his body stumbling back at the action as he cautiously wrapped his hands around your back

“ n-not in trouble “

“ not in trouble “

“ still love me “

“ still love you “

“ then can I pla- “

“ no “

“ nevermind I didn’t want —want to play anyways “

“ that’s good “

“ yeah “ he drawed out as you grabbed his hand pulling him to the living room “ but babe the monitors still on just one matc— “

your grip tightned on his hand “ movie ken “

“ got it movie — movie “

he spoke low following you wrapping his arms around you as he kissed your cheek “ movie first — game later “

lev

-I don’t think he would ever ever ever scream at you but he would totally say something hurtful and not even realize it because kuroo and kenma said it to him

-so he’s literally just using what he was taught but In the wrong way

- not a time skip

“ lev can you help me “ you shouted to the taller male as you made your way across the court his hands cupping around his mouth as he stared down on you from the other side “ yeah “ he smiled “ totally “

you copied him a smile itching to spread across your face “ just because I yell doesnt mean you yell “

“ well as bossy as you are you should know I’m going to “

your face dropped before it fell back into a happy smile mind racing with thoughts of maybe hes just making a joke he knows you hate when people say that about you

“ hey uh lev ? “

“ yeah babe “ he said running over to you

“ let’s not say that ok cause it kinda — it really hurt my feelings “ his eyebrows furrowed as he looked down on you his voice vibrating along the gym before he smiled again “ babe I like the design you added to your face I didn’t notice but other people said you looked good with it and yeah —honestly they were right “

“ huh — design? “

“ yeah it’s red it’s right by your eyebrow “

your hands moved quickly to cover the pimple from his view eyes darting across the gym hoping no one else heard and was trying to take a look at it

“ it’s fine it’s fine maybe if you put on some makeup you can hide it right ? i mean if you don’t like the design like I do i mean that’s what you usually use it for right ? “

your eyebrows went up face holding nothing but sadness as you spoke “ do you— lev baby do you really think i’m bossy “

he jumped up and down on the balls of his feet in excitement as he kept going “ yeah — I do everything you tell me to and I like it i’m like a puppy and your the master “

you could feel your body heat up at his words his smile spreading wider as he turned to his awestruck teammates

“ babe it’s ok id follow you to the end of the earth because I don’t understand your just stringing me along”

your hands dropped the balls you held onto from picking them up off the floor. head cocking to the side as you studied him trying to see what sparked this new way of thinking

“ oh god “

“ he’s so fucking —so so fucking clueles- “

“ stupid just outright stupid is what he is “ you said as his eyebrows creased face struggling to find the right way to react to the burning hot anger he felt radiating off of you in waves “ lev baby who told you this “

you walked a bit closer to him head leaned back to see him clearly “ who made you think this way “

“ uh what “ he shook his head face coming up in a pout “ babe I — “ he played with his fingers as he looked off to the side hand moving to run across his neck “ for some reason I feel like i’m in trouble —I did—did I do something wrong baby ?“

“ this is not cool lev not helpful, not sweet and nice it’s hurtful “

“ no what ? wait i’m “ he took his hand out to grab your arm his face made up in pure confusion “ no i’m —i’m complimenting you “

“ you— your complimenting me? “

“ yeah “ he smiled struggling to hold it up as his eyes darted across your face

“ lev baby “ you faked a smile as your eyes hardened “ think about your words —what have you just said “

“ well I said that your my master and i’m like a puppy“ he smiled as he thought back “ only because I love you and would do anything you tell me and because i’m hyper and sometimes you have to explain stuff to me in simple form because I can’t pay attention when anyone else talks but you “

he kept going “ then I said that I do anything you tell me to and I would “ he smiled harder voice sure of himself“ because I like following you and making you happy “

he scratched his neck face flashing a deep red “ then — then I said that you cover up your bossine— ok i’m sorry “

his face made up into a pout as he slumped “ really I didn’t know I thought it was nice I heard the team saying it in the back rooms and I though— “

“ FUCKING IDIOT “

“ LEV WHAT THE FUCK “

“ HOLY SHIT LEGS ARE YOU SERIOUS “

levs face dropped as he turned to kenma “ legs seriously ? “

kenma shrugging as he continued to play his hand held game “ eh well everyone else was saying something and you annoy me so — I present legs “

he sighed as he turned back only to see your eyes holding nothing but garbage fires In them as you stared at the group of guys huddled together

“ speak “ everyone whimpered as you stared them down “ explain to me why my boyfriend is telling me I need makeup to cover my pimple ”

kuroos uncomfortable laugh left him quickly as he looked away from the both of you rocking back and forth in his shows “ well um y/n “ he coughed “ you see we were — we’re guys y/n we were making jokes and you see lev doesn’t understand “

“ well I do so explain “

he jumped “ we thought— “

“ not quick enough you sweaty catboy“

“ god ok he came to us wanting to know how to compliment you he said he didn’t want to say anything dumb and —so that made us realize we can really make him do anything cause he’s so clueless—thought if we could get lev to say some dumb shit—trust me we didn’t go that far “ he said pointing to lev who was picking up the balls you’d dropped on the floor chasing after one that rolled away

“ then you’d break up with him and I guess at least one of us would have a chance — well except kenma he says he has princess peach as his wife —wait who the fu—I actually don’t know who that is ken is that an online girlfriend “

he furrowed his brows actually puzzled by his earlier words “ I don’t know why it seemed so normal to me at the time “

he shook his head “ but lev is so fucking stupid that he said everything fucking wrong — we literally just told him what we personally like about you —gave him some corny pickup lines but he said everything wrong like even the phrase about your makeup we were saying how you don’t wear any or when you do it’s not obvious because your natural beauty just radiates through it— then the next thing we talked about is how strong and just how you take directive I guess — and we — we thought it was hot “

“ then where did he get the stuff he said from “ your voice went high now you were confused he couldn’t have made that stuff up

“ y/n he’s just fucking stupid where do you think “ he rolled his eyes “ he made it up because he didn’t understand “

levs eyes widened as he had stopped paying attention to the situation taking place hours ago “ uh I cannot confirm or deny that statement but I will say you are very very beautiful my love “

your heart warmed as the team groaned your body moving into his as you kissed him softly “ did I do something wrong ? “

“ no lev your ok “

“ ok I never want you to feel bad or like y’know how kenma feels I always feel like he’s so angry “ your boyfriend shivered as he locked eyes with kenma who was ready to pounce on him claws showed as he gripped his game harshly “ see —- so angry “

“ not angry lev just “ you looked at him seriously “ babe you have to pay attention to what you say you may say something really really wrong to me one day and then — “

“ and then you’ll tell me what I did wrong while we cuddle and drink hot chocolate“

you smiled squeezing him harder “ no — then i’ll break your kneecaps so you’ll never be able to play volley again and i’ll dye your hair black in your sleep so people will think you look like a tall dirty mop “

he shook before he led you out of the door the team watching as you left leaving all of them to curse silently about their failed plan “ he’s the stupidest guy on the team and he — he got that “

“ bet he doesn’t even know what he’s doing when he’s tapping it “

kuroo laughed “ yeah right like he even gets that far — they probably gotta explain how to continue a kiss without him focusing and staring straight into their eyes — he’s probably learning how to ‘multitask’ right now as we speak—lucky idiot “

the doors to the gym slammed open roughly a few minutes later as you held levs hand tightly behind the door “ HEY ASSHOLES “

everyone tuned to you in fear for themselves and the tall male behind you who you dragged like a mom in a store his eyes stuck on the lollipop that stuck out from his mouth “ guys y/n found me a lollipop—she stuffed it in my mouth when I told her the joke you guys told me to “

“ w-what joke “

“ the one where I called the sex line and said that I requested them because I heard good reviews “

the teams heads all dropped knowing they’d never said anything of the sort or even along the line he’d messed up their original words yet again and put not only himself but them in danger

“ if you guys ever try to taint my boyfriend with your dumb fucking words again I swear I will end you all —kenma i’ll buy every copy of the new game that you want that’s coming out — literally blow all my money so you can’t ever play the stupid game until im ready to allow you to “ his mouth going up in an o as he still had his attention on his game hands only tightening a bit at the threat his body moving behind kuroo for safety

“ kuroos chemistry lab will become a garbage chute for my lunch trays “ kuroos body slumping as he draped himself over kenma only to get pushed off and fall on the floor in pain your mouth moving to tell everyone else on the team what would happen if they didn’t respect your boyfriend and treat him like the nice , caring guy he was

Until finally you flashed a smile and walked off leaving the team in disarray as they couldn’t figure out if you just grew that much hotter or if they were having heat flash from the pissed off emotions they felt when lev turned around and winked at them while he ran his hand down your shoulder to land at your lower back as he followed you out

2K notes · View notes

a-libra-writes · 3 years ago

Text

Game of Thrones - Love Letter and Handwriting Headcanons

In this preference, you'll be writing to: Ned Stark, Robb Stark, Sansa Stark, Jon Snow, Benjen Stark, Jory Cassel, Eddison Tollett, Yara Greyjoy, Daenerys Targaryen, Jorah Mormont, Missandei, Grey Worm, Tywin Lannister, Tyrion Lannister, Jaime Lannister, Sandor Clegane, Bronn, Petyr Baelish, Stannis Baratheon, Davos Seaworth, Margaery Tyrell, Brynden Tully, Edmure Tully, Brienne of Tarth, Ramsay Bolton, Roose Bolton, Oberyn Martell, Arianne Martell

my own silly fanfic made me think of this bc there’s letter writing later on in that. whee!

Ned Stark

His handwriting is neat, evenly spaced and fairly plain. It’s easily readable, which is the point - he knows not everyone is well-versed in letters and he tries to make it easier. Ned typical sends ravens, only writing a full letter for when he has to give instructions or relay something important. He has a formal Stark wax seal for this… and yes, he uses that same formal seal when he sends something to you. The more you exchange letters, the more relaxed he clearly becomes in writing. He knows he isn’t romantic or poetic by any means, but he hopes his affection for you comes across.

Robb Stark

Goodness knows he’s had endless lessons on writing properly and expressing the right words, but Robb just has no interest in it. His handwriting is perfectly legible but obviously hastily written, and he doesn’t care if there’s a few smudges or the paper gets dirty. When he’s writing to you, he’ll try to be neater… but sometimes he’s just got so much to say, and he’s so eager to send it, he doesn’t even notice the mess. Robb never thought he’d anticipate letters, especially romantic ones, but he loves receiving things from you. If you live far away, he feels the distance strongly and starts to rely on your letters to feel more connected to you.

Sansa Stark

As expected, her penmanship is pretty and neat. If she's in a good mood she'll add little flourishes here and there, but normally she's a bit embarrassed to do it. It feels childish to do that now. When she finds a nice stationary, she saves it until she writes to you. Her envelopes have the usual Stark direwolf with some wildflowers along the border. Honest and romantic words used to come easy to her, but now she’s more subdued. She’ll include pretty poetry she heard and wanted to share with you.

Jon Snow

His writing would be neater if he just slowed down, but he’s often in haste, especially once he becomes Lord Commander. He never cared about the proper penmanship or address because who would a bastard write to? Really, it’s lucky he was taught letters at all. He’d do his best to write neater for you, but the words keep escaping him - It’s hard enough to express how he feels in person, writing it isn’t any easier, no matter what Sam says. Jon always responds if you write to him, even if he’s blushing and feeling stupid the whole time.

Benjen Stark

He’s perfectly capable of writing neatly, but Benjen rarely bothers to. He jots down what he needs, though he at least has to make it legible - there’s only so many men that know their letters at the Wall, and Benjen has to keep his orders neat. When you pass him a secret letter, he’s grinning like a boy. He thinks it’s adorable that you went through the effort of finding supplies and writing something so sweet. He’ll ask to read it in front of you, but if you make him do it in secret, he’ll want to run and find you as soon as he’s done. He’d fold it up tight and keep it in a safe pouch tied to his belt.

Jory Cassel

His handwriting is pretty messy. Jory was never bothered by it until he had to write you something. Oh no. Wasn't there a proper way to address you? What if it was too personal, or too standoffish? Poor Jory overthinks his letters unless you two write with frequency. His handwriting won't get better, but he's more comfortable writing sweet things. He likes to keep his envelopes and papers plain so no one suspects anything, which is a good habit if you’re dating in secret, but a silly once if you’re married.

Eddison Tollett

He jokes it’s a small miracle that he knows his letters, poor as his family was. He likes to pretend he doesn’t, just so the higher ups on the Wall won’t give him extra duties like they did Sam. Reading never interested him, and he had no one to write to, so it’s just not something he thinks about. When you slip him a letter, he just stares at it dumbly for a minute. Once Edd has a chance to open it up, he’s a little taken aback. What… should he do? Should he talk to you? Respond to it? He’s never had such a nice gesture given to him, never had anyone write such nice things to him (has he even received a letter before??). So the next time to meet him, he still has a stupefied look on his face. And here he was thinking nothing on the Wall could surprise him anymore..

Yara Greyjoy

She was taught writing and reading by her nuncle - because the Gods know her father hardly bothered - so she actually has fond memories of both, even if she hardly does it. Yara would be very curious by anything you sent. Was something wrong? If it smelled of perfume or had a pretty stationary, she’d snort… but once she read the contents, she’d just grin and laugh. If the letter is more romantic, she finds it silly, but so like you. Very endearing. If it’s more saucy and risque, well … she’s going to read this in private and take her time.

Daenerys Targaryen

Her handwriting wasn’t as neat as it could’ve been, given her upbringing. It’s a point of embarrassment, so Dany practices pretty lettering and uses interesting inks she’s found around the markets. It’s a bit relaxing, though when she’s writing something official as Khaleesi and Queen, she makes sure it’s perfect. She’s pleasantly surprised when you write her something - has she ever actually received something this sweet before? She’ll write you back with a smile on her face, and she likes any chance to use that fancy Targaryen seal. Dany will still love to receive and send letters even if you both are staying in a palace together. It’s just one of many romantic gestures she thought she’d never enjoy.

Jorah Mormont

Jorah's handwriting is nice, but he usually writes in haste, so several letters end up smudged. He doesn't like to waste paper and start over. Jorah really can’t believe that you’d send him something romantic and sweet; he tries to hide his grin and blush, but he’ll wear it the whole time he’s reading. When he's writing something really sweet to you, it gets him flustered and happy, so whole words end up smudged. He doesn't notice the ink on his hand until he's already put the letter in the envelope. He keeps whatever you’ve sent him in a protective leather book so they can’t get damaged.

Missandei

She has lovely handwriting in many languages, as she was taught. The neatness of the lines and letters really is impressive. When she's writing something sweet to you, she pauses and struggles with the words for a while. Missandei always has the sweetest, most thoughtful letters - more sentimental than romantic. Her letters are punctuated with citrus smelling paper and a modestly decorated envelope.

Grey Worm

He’s only recently learned to read, and writing is still a struggle - he’d be very intimidated at the idea of writing something to you. When you give him something to read for practice, it takes Grey Worm a few minutes before he realizes it’s something you wrote. And it’s for him! And about him! He’s very happy but also very flustered. It takes him longer to get through it, but he can’t stop smiling all day once he’s done. He aspires to write something just as nice, once he’s practiced more. He’d keep your letters in a safe place, and wouldn’t want anyone else to see them.

Tywin Lannister

His penmanship is near perfect, which you expected. It’s always written in a stark black ink on fine, almost marbled paper that has an equally officially looking gold Lannister seal on the envelope. People whisper it’s liquid gold that seals it, but you know better. Tywin’s letters are for business only, so he doesn’t expect you to send him anything romantic… He wouldn’t know what to do with it, besides read it with some amusement and tuck it away for later. You might think he never read it, until he’ll tease you by quoting it weeks later.

Tyrion Lannister

His handwriting is elegant and flawless, as it was meant to be. When Tyrion’s tired he’ll smudge here and there, and depending on how important the letter is, he’ll start over entirely. When he receives your first letter, he’s surprised by the pretty stationary and envelope - this is for him? - and the contents are even better. Tyrion might have a small mental shutdown if you write him something romantic and kind. He’ll re-read it over and over and be distracted through much of the day. This is really for him? He has to respond, of course, and he’ll do it while his emotions are high. For once he doesn’t think on carefully crafted words, he writes what he feels and picks a more subtle stationary (no giant Lannister seals) so attention isn’t drawn to you.

Jaime Lannister

Gods, he hates writing. Just sitting down to write a report is bad enough, but when it's something important? When it's a response to something lovely you wrote? He struggles. The letters start moving around like they used to, he remembers those awful lessons with his father and he's just put off by the whole thing. Seeing you in person is far better. Jaime's handwriting is neat, because it had to be, though when he's upset he'll write a few letters backwards.

Sandor Clegane

It's a mess. Really, the fact his words are readable is a miracle. 'Chicken scratch' is a generous term, though his name is passable. If you wrote him a letter, he'd have no idea what to do with it, let alone how to respond. Sandor doesn't do sentiment like that; seeing you in person can be conflicting and confusing enough. He'd probably rip it up and burn it after drinking too much (and immediately regret that in the morning).

Bronn

He's barely literate, and not a man of flowery words anyway, so don't respect a response. If anything he'd hand the letter to Tyrion and ask him to read it - only for it to be handed back once Tyrion realized it was very personal and... revealing. Bronn doesn't worry about a response or consider you getting upset about it. If you are, he has ways to make up for it.

Petyr Baelish

You expected him to have neat penmanship, but you didn't expect it to be this nice. And of course, his way with words shows in his letters, but it's even better. You might even blush and have to excuse yourself to read it in private. Petyr loves to write on fancy paper with fancier envelopes that have his sigil, but if they're meant to be secret, the only indicator is a little symbol on the envelope's seal. He delights in anything you send him, especially if he can smell your perfume on it.

Stannis Baratheon

Stannis writes very neat letters with equally impossibly neat rows. He has a habit of gripping his quill too tight, but his letters are concise so his hand doesn’t hurt. While he usually writes quickly because he knows what to say, when he writes to you, he pauses far too often. Sometimes ink drips on the paper while he’s thinking, sometimes he misspells a word he’s never gotten wrong before. It takes a long time, especially if he’s responding to something that was very sweet and romantic. His first letters were very awkward and halting, but they’ve steadily improved. Mostly.

Davos Seaworth

You were the one who helped him with writing, after helping him read as well. Davos isn’t happy with his penmanship, but he didn’t think he’d make it this far, so he keeps trying when he has time. It’s messy but legible enough. Davos is always pleasantly surprised when you write to him; he loves that you took the time to send something so sweet. It’s hard for him to reply efficiently, or to put what he’s thinking into words, so sometimes he’ll wait for you to get back instead. He would use your letters to practice reading… but it gets him terribly flustered to read the same kind things over and over again.

Margaery Tyrell

She doesn't mind taking the extra time to make her letters extra beautiful, to press dried flower petals and put them in the envelope, to look through dozens of stationary to find one that's just right for her mood. For most people, they're lucky to get one of these little rituals - you get all of them. She'd be delighted if you took extra care in your letters, too, and naturally she keeps whatever you send her in a special box (that absolutely no one will find).

Brynden Tully

It's no surprise that his handwriting is simple and gets the job done. His brother used to complain that he wrote like a soldier, not a lord, and Brynden is proud of that. He won't wax poetic to you, but he will plainly state that he misses you and he always writes back promptly. Brynden feels bad that his letters take so long to arrive, so he'll make them longer with funny anecdotes and things he's heard from travellers. He folds his letter a few times and wraps it in a protective parchment, just in case rain comes or some idiot drops it.

Edmure Tully

He writes well enough, with neat letters that are jotted down in haste. Edmure almost never stays and lingers on words and sentences, he just writes what comes to mind and moves on. He’s shocked in a good way when you write something to him - you missed him that much? Enough to write all this? He re-reads it several times, and keeps whatever you send him after that. He’ll eagerly write back, and even if it’s silly and awkwardly worded, you can feel the love in every letter. His letters are often a bit crumpled and are plain except for the Tully seal.

Brienne of Tarth

It might surprise some that she has a lady's penmanship. It was never something Brienne had trouble learning, though she often accidentally broke the quill by holding too hard. Though she cherishes the kind things you send her (and she blushes terribly as she reads them), she struggles to send something in return. Her words fail her and she feels embarrassed for trying, but she does try. Seeing you in person is so much easier, though. She likes to keep your letters in a safe place and read them when she's feeling down.

Ramsay Bolton

The letters are messy, but legible enough. The real issue is all the stains on the paper, usually a combination of mud, blood or water. He has little care for the proper way to write or address others; Roose may have given him the bare minimum and not expected him to actually use it. Ramsay is very surprised and amused by anything you send him, though. He considers writing something back, but decides to wait or just go and see you directly. That’s far more fun.

Roose Bolton

His handwriting is functional and his words are to the point. There's nothing outstanding about the letter or its contents, save for a blood-red Bolton seal on the envelope. Roose rarely sends full letters, though; it's a quick Raven or nothing. Though he won't mind anything you send… he'll be very pleased with how personal they become, and he still won't send anything back right away, if he does at all. Better to keep you in anticipation.

Oberyn Martell

Oberyn has a stylish flourish to his letters that’s unique to him. If that didn’t give it away, the pretty gold ink or embellished envelope will. Often it has the spear as a seal, sometimes it’s some interesting and strange stamp he picked up from his travels. There’s always a slight scent to his letters, and you can’t always place it. The actual words themselves are often scandalous and teasing, though he’s sent plenty of heartfelt things, especially if you enjoy it. He’s no poet, but he’s honest and romantic. Oberyn much prefers to see you in person, but he likes to receive sweet things and re-read them.

Arianne Martell

Her handwriting is beautifully elegant, and she loves getting ahold of pretty colored inks and papers. Her letters straddle a fine line between romantic and a little scandalous, and she likes to use pet names, as if you both are writing in secret. Her envelopes have a pleasant smell, and the official Martell seal. If she wants her letter to be sent especially fast, she’ll take her father’s seal. She keeps anything you send her in a pretty, hand carved wooden box with a lock and key.

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writer-akihiko · 3 years ago

Note

Hello!

Ikemen sé request

the warlords realizing that Mc is very popular with their soldiers. Sending love letters and stuff.

IkeSen Boys + Popular!MC

This was so cute ahhh although I'm sorry if it's a little short, there's a lot of Ikemen to get through. Thank you and I hope you like this work!

Nobunaga Oda

Nobunaga thought it was quite odd that there were a lot of presents delivered to you... Which he didn't gift...

After some digging, he found out that you had garnered some popularity after a campaign

He was dumbfounded at the idea that other men could be attracted to you

He didn't quite like that, but being the person he is he did tell you his thoughts

You insisted that you wanted to keep some gifts to distribute to your maids. He agreed, but he just buys better gifts for you anyway

He's not as jealous as you'd expect, since the man is also a bit egotistical when it comes to himself and your feelings for him

"Oh... Nobunaga..." You wanted to laugh at how childish he was but it wouldn't be in the right taste.

You stopped your giggling when Nobunaga muttered, "I could transfer whoever sent those gifts to you away..."

"At least let me keep some!"

He silenced you with a quick kiss. "Whatever you like from the pile, I'll purchase better ones from the merchants."

Hideyoshi Toyotomi

He doesn't want to admit that he's jealous, but he is. He unknowingly calls out the soldier that was about to gift you a present in an oh so convenient timing…

He doesn't take it to such extremes, he still respects the other soldiers. Although, he found it quite tempting from time to time to not bring you along for some campaigns

In this case, he wished that Nobunaga hadn't demanded such things of you. He really does appreciate your skills on the field, but he doesn't like that he can't control how much attention you're getting

He only realises it once someone points it out to him, or when someone sends you a letter. Letters are an absolute no from him

"Lord Hideyoshi, what should I do with these letters for YN?"

"Burn them."

"Lord Hideyoshi, what should I do with these letters from the townswomen?"

"Oh, send them to my office-"

YN smacked Hideyoshi up in the head. "You hypocrite."

Mitsunari Ishida

Mitsunari did notice that you gained a lot of attention, but he knew that it was only from your good merits and character

In no way did he ever thought it was romantic, until Mitsuhide pointed it out

He wasn't sure how to feel about it. Sure, he was happy that a lot of people thought you were a wonderful person

However a small inkling of him wanted to keep it to himself

Seeing the multitude of gifts for you, the guilt hit him hard. What if you wanted gifts all along?

"YN, do you like it when those soldiers give you gifts?" He asked, as you opened another gift that consisted of a bunch of fabrics.

"I do appreciate it," You admitted. "But I don't plan to keep them for long. I share any snacks with the maids and fabrics with the seamstresses. Why?"

He didn't reply, except for the blush that bloomed on his cheeks.

You pecked his cheek, understanding what he meant. "You have no reason to be jealous, my sweet angel."

Mitsuhide Akechi

Not a lot of people can read him, and he uses that to his advantage. He sneaks up on those who had planned to give you gifts, and instead direct their attention to another maid or townswoman

In the end, with this strategy, you don't receive much gifts from soldiers. This doesn't work on his fellow warlords however

With you, he doesn't hide his frown when people like Shingen or Masamune send you gifts

He doesn't care for what reason it was for, the gift shall not be touched by you

"Mitsuhide? Have you seen a package from Masamune? He sent some really pretty Oshu fabrics for me…"

He sipped on his bland concoction of tea. "Why my dear, I wonder where it could be…"

You sighed. "You gave it away didn't you? Now I have to write to Masamune- Ah!"

Before you could continue any thoughts, your charming kitsune sweeped you up in his arms, smiling coyly at you. "Write to him? I'm afraid my jealousy won't allow that YN… I'd certainly be interested in writing my thoughts of you on your body…"

Ieyasu Tokugawa

Ieyasu surprisingly doesn't notice any traffic of gifts to you. It might be due to the fact that he publicly ban any gifters from his estate…

You still manage to get some from soldiers passing by or Ieyasu's fellow warlords gifting you as a token of appreciation

Only when you bring the gift home is when he realises how popular you are. He doesn't initially care, but similarly to Hideyoshi, he gets rid of any letters

He doesn't burn them, but he moreso stages it so you'd see adorable Wasabi chewing on the papers

"Hey Ieyasu? Oh-" You dropped to your knees, seeing Wasabi with some paper in its mouth once again. "Wasabi, you should know better than to chew on my letters! Ha… Looks like I have to apologise later on."

"Do you even remember the soldier that gave you the letter?" He looked up from his work to ask you.

You pouted. "No… But I'm sure I can ask around!"

He patted you head. "Don't waste your time on that. The maids should be done with dinner now. Let's go and eat."

Masamune Date

He notices your popularity early on, but he's not too bothered about it. In fact, he shows off that you and him are in a relationship

It might be a 'rubbing salt in wound' move but he doesn't care. He has a thrill of seeing some of his jealous subordinates, which he trusts that it is in all good favour

With the way he approached it, most admired you in a non-romantic way, and for those few that actually do, Masamune opts for a duel as a 'wholesome' way to solve the solution

The duels end up with him winning, and the challenger often with some pointers from Masamune during fighting

You wiped off Masamune's sweat from his brow, wondering why he suddenly went up to that random soldier. "Did something happen?"

"Didn't he give you that gift earlier?" He asked, confused. He put up a good fight, although he'd probably have to answer to Hideyoshi since the boy was under his army…

You shook your head. "It wasn't. He has a twin, and the twin is working under Mitsunari…"

Masamune stood up, groaning. "Looks like I have another duel YN. I'll be back by dinner!"

"H-Hoi! Masamune!"

Kenshin Uesugi

Jealousy plus Uesugi Kenshin equals disaster in Kasugayama Castle

Kenshin was shocked when he saw the servants carrying the presents in, specifically addressed to 'Princess YN'

No one could stop him from drawing his sword and rushing to the training grounds, where every poor soldier who passed by was forced to duel him

Yukimura and Sasuke were already battered from the multiple duels they had to face. You pitied the poor souls, so you sent some of your maids to heal up the soldiers that faced his wrath

Holding one of your many bunny children, you walked up to your soon-to-be husband, smiling at him. "Kenshin my dear, we should be on our way to our stroll…"

He tugged off the upper part of his kimono, his torso and upper body dripping with sweat from the fights. "I'll be with you YN, I just need to cool off. I shouldn't dirty you with my sweat."

For as much as you wanted to be proper, you couldn't help but stare at your perfectly sculpted fiance. "T-Take you time my dear."

Sasuke Sarutobi

For the many things he was dense about, this was not one of them. He saw the way some of the Nokizaru looked at you

He of course told them off, but he still had an inkling that some didn't get the memo

Within whatever wisdom he had left, he somehow consulted Kenshin on how to resolve this, which ended up Sasuke battling about half of the Nokizaru

You had no words on why half the men were injured and why your boyfriend was bruised as well. Initially you thought it was from some dispute, but Yukimura so kindly filled you in

You tightened the bandage around Sasuke's arm, giving a disappointed look to the group of ninja. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"

"We're sorry Princess YN."

"And what do you have to say, Sarutobi Sasuke?" You huffed.

"I won't go to Kenshin for romantic advice."

"Good."

Shingen Takeda

He is not oblivious to your charms, as well as the way other people were attracted to your charms

He'd be lying if he said he weren't jealous. Of course he was, but he didn't plan to do anything malicious to whoever sent you gifts

They were free to waste their money and/or time, it wasn't his business. He'd however, make it clear that you were taken

He's not above doting you in public, and sneaking kisses in the markets or kissing you as the rain goes by. He's very calm about it, since he sees the way you were attracted to him

"S-Shingen! We're going to a war council!" You patted his face away from your own, as the much taller man held you in his embrace.

"Embarrassed Princess?" He teased, giving you his sweetest smile reserved just for you. "But we've done many affectionate things in public…" "People will see!"

He kissed your cheek. "Let them see how in love we are."

Yukimura Sanada

He is another victim of Kenshin's not-so great love advice, hesitating to pick up his spear at anyone who sent you glances. Well… it was Kenshin's advice… and no way he'd risk getting teased by Shingen by asking him!

He then opted for a silent jealous strategy, keeping you by him and covering you with his body everytime he felt someone looking at you

You wondered why he was acting so odd, after all, you just wanted to go on a nice stroll with Yuki and Muramasa

Luckily, to Yuki's benefit, Muramasa is a good wolf who knows to rip apart any letters that come to you or hound after any men that look at you the wrong way

"Is it just me, or is Muramasa a little more energetic than usual?" You asked your boyfriend as you folded your kimono underneath you to sit on the impromptu picnic blanket.

Yuki shook his head, handing you over the basket of food. "He's probably just excited to see us… I think…" He said, as Muramasa runs off into the bushes with what he could see was a paper in his mouth.

Kennyo

Kennyo doesn't really know what to do with this information. He's quite unsure if you wanted the attention or not

He thought the issue didn't need to be brought to your attention, as most of those around you are most likely his subordinates

He could… simply remind them of the holistic teachings that was preached to them

It does a good effect, as most quickly dispelled any sort of romantic attraction

He doesn't mind his subordinates admiring you out of respect, as he thinks you deserve such respect for your deeds

You clapped your hands after hearing your boyfriend's sermons. "You impress me every time my beloved," You said, pecking him on the cheek. "I'm always in awe when you deliver your preachings."

He shied away from you, "My dear, you praise me so…" He couldn’t stop repeating those praises over and over in his head, wanting to pen down the exact words you said. "Thank you YN."

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen #ikesen sasuke #ikesen mitsunari #ikesen masamune #ikesen yukimura #ikesen kennyo #ikesen kenshin #ikesen mitsuhide #ikesen nobunaga #ikesen shingen #ikesen ieyasu #ikesen hideyoshi #ikemen sengoku kenshin #ikemen sengoku kennyo #ikesen headcanons #ikesen scenarios

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the-bau-quinjet · 3 years ago

Text

Always

Summary: You overhear Steve talking to Bucky about going back to be with Peggy. Rather than confronting the situation, you write him a letter.

Warnings: I cried just thinking about writing this, so much angst, some swearing

Word Count: 3305

a/n: here it is folks: the sad fic I mentioned a few posts ago. Inspired by a multitude of songs from the album Ashlyn by Ashe. I high key recommend listening to that album while you read or just in general. I'm pretending like nobody died in Endgame because that shit is sad and I know this is sad aside from that, but I still have a heart ya know?

Per usual, any song lyrics (or song lyrics that I changed a bit) are in bold! I think used lyrics from Me Without You, Save Myself, I'm Fine, Love is Not Enough, and Always.

Masterlist

"You'd really want to go back?" You overheard Bucky right before you walked into Steve's room.

"I don't know." He let out a deep sigh. "I mean, I do know, but what do you think?" Steve's answer left you wondering what they were discussing.

"All for Peggy?" Your heart stopped waiting for Steve to reply.

Another sigh escaped his lips. You could easily picture him running his hands down his face, a signal he was deep in thought. "I mean, I never got a chance to see what would happen with her. Don't you think she deserves this much?"

You felt frozen. You couldn't hear the rest of Steve's answer or Bucky's reply over the sound of blood rushing through your ears.

It was all too much to handle. Rather than confront the grab bag of emotions swimming inside of you, you turned around and went back to your room in a zombie like haze.

"Friday, don't let anyone in my room."

You know the AI replied, but you were still too caught up in thought to understand it. Your mind was full of questions you knew you couldn't figure out the answers to alone.

Why would Steve want to go back for Peggy when he had you? Why would he even consider it if he loved you like he said he does? Is he still in love with Peggy? Has he been in love with her the whole time? Why would he choose her when he's spent so much more time with you?

"Y/N?" The sound of Steve's voice outside your door startled you. "Y/N, honey, are you in there?"

You could hear the doorknob rattling in his attempt to open it, but Friday was doing as you asked.

"I thought you were going to meet me downstairs?"

His words only broke your heart more, a small sniffle escaping despite your efforts to remain quiet.

"Are you not feeling well? What's wrong?"

His questions were left unanswered, much like the questions swimming around your head.

Steve kept talking to you through the door for a while, but you never replied. You weren't ready to face him, not until you knew you wouldn't say something you'd later regret.

The next few days carried on much the same. You refused to leave your room, relying on various snacks and protein bars you had for food. Every few hours, you would try to write down what you were feeling, but it didn't help calm you down the same way it typically did.

Everyone tried talking to you, but nothing worked. Steve spent hours outside your door every day in an effort to get you to talk to him, but you just couldn't figure out your emotions. It was all still too much to handle.

Late one night, Steve said something that forced you into action.

"Y/N, I don't know what happened, but if I did something I'm truly sorry. I'm returning the stones tomorrow. We've never not said goodbye before a mission... I just hope this one is the same."

You listened as he quietly walked back down the hallway, steps slowly receding until you were left in the same absolute silence you've spent the last few days.

You knew you had to talk to him, but hearing him say to your face that he's staying with Peggy would kill you.

You couldn't survive a permanent goodbye, not in your current state of mind.

After a few minutes of silent contemplation, you decided to write Steve a letter. Maybe you'd give it to him or maybe it would just help you organize your thoughts. Either way, it would be helpful to write to someone for a change.

Hi Steve,

I, well, I guess I'll start with this. You deserve an apology. I'm truly sorry for ignoring you for the past few days. I just... I heard what you said to Bucky and I didn't know how to deal with it.

You know I've never been the best at controlling my emotions, so I just holed myself up in here. I avoided you so I could figure out my own feelings first.

I know I should talk to you. You deserve that too, but I don't think I could survive the heartbreak. I guess I'll try to explain everything I've been thinking and feeling since that night.

Honestly, I'm not sure where to start. It feels kind of stupid to say, but I obviously experienced a range of emotions when I first heard you and Bucky talking about going back.

You know I've always found solace in writing, so that's what I'm doing. I needed a way to clear my thoughts, and it turned into this concoction of thoughts and some poems - you know how I feel about poems. (Look at that! A sarcastic comment! I didn't think I was capable of humor anymore.)

This might not surprise you, but the first emotion I clung to was anger. I'm not angry anymore, well at least not as angry. Anyway, I wrote this next part when I was absolutely pissed at you.

What the fuck?

You want to go back in time and stay there?

You want to leave me behind?

Steve, what the fuck is wrong with you?

I could keep you here. If I really wanted to, I could figure out a way to do it. I could cut the brakes just to keep you from leaving. I'll do it too. My hands on the wheel would drive us into a wall.

You must think I'm being petty. Hiding in my room like a child to avoid you. All the while, here I am writing all the things I could do to keep you. Well, news flash: I don't need you. You made me think the only world I could exist in, was one you lived in, almost had me fooled.

Here's something you probably never considered, because I sure as shit never thought I'd even need to. I can be me without you. I don't have to rely on you for my own happiness. I thought you loved me, but if you want to go back and be with Peggy, do it. Go find yourself, let me down.

It's easy to sit here now and look back on how everything we had would always be second string to your relationship with her. God damn hindsight's 2020.

I want you to know, you did this to me. You broke my heart. When I heard you say you wanted a chance to be with Peggy, it's like my whole world crumbled down around me.

Everything I thought I knew was ripped out from under me. You poured rain all over my sunny. Yeah, someday, this could all be funny, but right now it's absolute shit.

And maybe everything will work out the way it's meant to be, but honestly I couldn't give less of a shit about that right now.

If I had the chance, I would take it back. Everything. Meeting you. Becoming friends. Dating you. Falling in love. I'd be jumping off your sinking ship, instead of going down with it.

It'd be so much easier that way. If I never fucking knew you.

One day I'll be good. I'll be over all of this bullshit. Right now I'm just mad. And you know what, it's justifiable. I think I'm allowed to be mad at you.

I'm over being so mature. If only I was never yours. Maybe I'll go back in time and undo it all. Then at least I could save myself from you.

Like I said, I wrote that in the heat of the moment. Once my brain caught up to my ears, all I saw was red. Anger didn't last as long as you might think though.

All that was how I felt in the moment, but I want you to know it's not true. I don't really believe any of it. I was hurt and angry and avoiding the pain I knew was just around the corner.

I've always told you anger would be my downfall because I just can't control what I say.

Let me be completely clear, I would never want to undo meeting you. You've been the best part of my life for years. I need you to know that I don't regret any of it and I never will.

Anyway, the anger shifted to tears pretty quickly. It wasn't hard to feel the pain that comes with someone you love leaving you. I can't honestly picture a world where I don't love you.

This is the first poem I wrote. With tear blurring my vision, I put pen to paper and this is what came out.

Complicated. Understated. On the way to, Devastated. I'm just holding on for dear life.

Short and sweet, right? Well, not so much sweet, but you get the point. I feel broken. Here's another bit of poetry for ya.

Right now I'm sorry, Burns through me darling, But I can't help hope In thirty years it won't.

Maybe I just need time. That's what everyone always says. "Time can heal all wounds."

It's hard to even think about moving on though when everything reminds me of you. I've got emotional souvenirs from fleeting moments we spent together. If this is the end, I'll always know you were my golden years. I know in the future I could close my eyes and go back there.

Maybe that's the hardest part. Knowing I'll always have these memories.

All I've been thinking about for the past three days is if this will ever feel better. And maybe it will, when time has passed.

Maybe when I'm older, I'll run out of stories about you. Maybe when I'm older, I'll know what it's like not to love you, Anymore.

Despite my best efforts, it's still only a maybe. Maybe when I'm older I'll be able to stop thinking about you every second of the day. Maybe when I'm older I won't feel like crying everytime I see your face.

But maybe not. Maybe I'll always feel this way.

Maybe when I'm six feet, underneath the concrete, I'll know what it's like not to want you, anymore.

I'm not saying all this to make you feel guilty. You don't need to tell me you're sorry. I know you are. I know you would never hurt me like this without a reason.

I should just talk to you, but I don't think I can. Not yet. We don't need to talk til we're ready. Both of us.

I guess I do have one question. Do you really love me?

I don't think I want to know the answer right now. Because even if you do... it takes a lot more than a rose, more than a kiss, more than a heart to truly love someone and spend forever with them.

It takes a lot more than a ring, more than a vow, more than a promise to build and maintain a relationship.

Love is not enough. I know that now. Even if you love me to the best of your abilities, you could still love Peggy more. Love may not be enough for us, but at least we got that much.

If you leave, I'll live the rest of my life grateful that at least I got your touch for as long as I did.

I used to think we could take our sweet time, that everything would be just fine. But now I know maybe not.

I cried for days. Like I said, I'm not writing this to make you feel guilty though. I just want to be completely honest. I cried a lot, probably more than I ever have before.

I kept replaying memories of time I spent with you. Not even dates, just the small moments that made me know I love you.

Like that day I woke up too early, almost put salt in my coffee. Oh I thank God that you stopped me before that.

I've never been a morning person, but ever since I met you you've always been there to keep my head on straight.

I think the thing I love most about you is how you can read me better than anyone I've ever known. I can hide from everyone else and they won't bat an eye. They never can tell when I'm falling apart on the inside.

No matter how hard I try to hide it though, you don't believe me when I say I'm alright. You can always, always tell.

It's like you've got a sixth sense that tells you I need you when I try to say I'm fine.

Before I met you, I would get so lonely everyday. Now I'm only lonely until you ask if I'm okay and then I remember that I have people who are there for me. I have you.

All this to say, I love you, Steve. I love you more than I've ever loved another human being.

Forever yours,

Y/N

It took you nearly all night to write a coherent letter and come up with a plan to talk to Steve. A quick glance at the clock let you know Steve would be up any minute, so you had to act fast.

You opened your door for the first time in days, running in a full sprint to the stairs and down the hall to Steve's door.

With one final burst of courage, you shoved the letter under the door and ran away before anyone could find you out of your room.

"Y/N?" A familiar knock on your door woke you from a restless sleep. "I read your letter, Y/N please let me explain."

It felt like time slowed down as you stared at the door.

"Y/N, I have to bring the stones back, but I really want to talk to you first."

"Come in." You steadied yourself with a deep breath, but one look at Steve ruined your flimsy resolve.

"Y/N... I tried to wait for you to come to me, but..."

He stopped talking when you shook your head, a painful sob forming in your chest.

"I've been thinking a lot." You started slowly, voice scratchy from days of not being used except to cry. "What if staying with me isn't the best thing to keep you happy?"

"Y/N, I-"

"Please let me finish." You waited for him to acknowledge your words before you spoke again.

"If letting you go is the best way to show that I love you, I will." Tears poured down your cheeks, breaths coming to you shakily.

"Captain Rogers, your presence is requested in the backyard." Friday's voice echoed through the room.

Steve looked more torn than you've ever seen him.

"Let's go." You nodded toward the door. "I've got more to say, but you've got somewhere to be."

Slowly, the two of you walked down the hall and entered the elevator.

"I don't know if you'll ever come back-"

"Y/N, really just let me-"

"Steve, please." You begged him to let you get it all out. "I won't ask 'cause that's selfish."

"It's not." He cut in again.

"It is. You deserve to be as happy as possible." With a slow, shaky breath you continued your speech. "I've come to terms I might never feel whole again."

The elevator doors slid open. You followed Steve to the yard where they set up the time machine.

"I'll be broken when you're gone, but I won't hold you back if it's wrong."

"Steve, there you are! Let's go-"

"In a minute, Sam." Steve's eyes never left you, remaining soft and caring. "We can go back inside if you want." He ran his thumbs over your cheeks, ridding them of tears only to be instantly replaced. You've always hated crying in front of people.

"I don't care what people say." You shook your head, ignoring the potential pitying looks you could receive for crying in front of others. Another deep breath, and you continued. "You know I won't force you to stay."

It was your turn to wipe tears from Steve's face.

"If you leave, I'll be okay. Just promise that you won't forget me babe."

"I could never-" He cut in again only to stop when you gave him a pleading look.

"I understand if leaving is what you have to do. I don't want you to go, but I'll be okay, eventually." You let out a watery chuckle, wiping your eyes again.

"Y/N, I never meant for-"

"Steve, you ready?" Sam interrupted again.

"It's fine. You can go." You did your best to hold back any lingering tears. You had to physically turn Steve around yourself and push him towards the machine.

"Y/N, please, I can't-"

"Steve, they're waiting for you. It's okay, I promise." He finally started to walk away only to pause when you called out one more thing. "Oh, Steve?"

"Yeah?" He wore a solemn smile.

"I'll love you always."

You watched as he listened to Banner's instructions and bid farewell to Sam and Bucky. The bitter part of you wondered if Sam knew.

A strangled sob left your mouth as soon as Steve disappeared. All three men standing around the machine looked your way, Sam and Bucky running toward you to help.

"He should be back any second. It's fine!" Sam desperately tried to console you, but you knew it wouldn't work.

"Y/N. Y/N! Listen to me. Did Steve talk to you?" Bucky asked, ignoring Sam's bewildered expression.

You nodded pitifully.

"Did he explain-" You cut him off.

"He- he didn't ha-have time.: You stuttered as you tried desperately to gulp in air through the tears. "I did most of the talking. I needed him to know it was okay."

"To know what was okay?" Sam asked, still clearly confused.

The thought of explaining it only broke you down more. You would have fallen to the ground if not for Bucky catching you. Your body leaned into his.

"Doll..." Bucky shook his head. "You should have let him explain."

You choked on another sob just thinking about it.

"Shh, it's okay. You'll be okay." Bucky whispered in your ear, ignoring Sam's confused glares.

"Y/N..." The sound of Steve's voice echoed in your ears causing another painful sob to jolt through your body.

"Baby, please look at me."

You genuinely thought you were hallucinating when you opened your eyes to see Steve towering over you.

"Steve?" Your voice was barely a whisper.

"It's me, I'm here." He gently took you from Bucky's arms, cradling you close to him but leaning his head far enough away for you to look into your eyes.

"You came back..." Your tears slowed, gently falling down your cheeks as you stared at him wide-eyed.

"I was never planning to leave." He spoke while gently stroking your hair.

"B-but, you were talking to Bucky about going back?" Your tears gave way to confusion as you glanced between him and Bucky.

"Just to say goodbye." He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, breathing in your scent. "I just thought she deserved a real goodbye."

New tears pooled in your eyes as you took in his words. "So, you never wanted to leave me?"

"I could never, and would never, leave you. I love you so much. I just wish I knew why you were holed up in your room sooner." He smiled at you, the same adoring smile he gave you the first time you met.

"I love you too. Always." You leaned into his embrace, relishing in the touch you thought you'd lost forever. He whispered his reply, clinging to you just as much as you were to him.

"Always."

a/n: today I discovered I am truly incapable of writing a sad ending. I just like the idea of escaping to a reality where Steve would never abandon me.

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@jesuswasnotawhiteman

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#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers angst #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers fic #steve rogers fluff

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