#But also the idea of batman storing stuff in there and it looks like he's got a pocket dimension in his throat like a flerken from marvel :

[wonderjanga]

Marvel’s Extreme Patience

Marvel is so patient. Like actually. None of the Justice League have even seen him lose his patience. They’ve seen Superman, Batman Wonder Woman, even Martian Manhunter, get to the point of lashing out. But Marvel? Nope, nada, nothing.

And by nothing, they mean nothing. Green Lantern once watched Flash ask Cap the same, quite frankly stupid, question six times. He’s still wondering how Marvel hadn’t slapped the shit out of Wally by the third. But no, Marvel answered each time with a smile on his face. GL even called Martian Manhunter over and asked him to see if he could sense any anger, or at least annoyance from Marvel.

MM: “I don’t wish to do this-”

GL: “I’ll buy you a bunch of chocolate later!”

MM: *sighs but does it anyways* “He’s not exhibiting any signs of annoyance.” *rubs head because Marvel’s intense ahh emotions are enough to give him a headache*

GL: “Damn…” *looks back Marvel in wonder, watching Flash ask him the same question again*

The thing is though, little do the JL know, Marvel tweaks out a lot. Like once per day. It’s just that they’ve never caught him, and that the one crash out per day is normally reserved for Billy. His tiny crash outs are always for the smallest things too. Like when the people in front of him are walking too slow. Or when a line in the grocery store is too long. Or when someone steps on the back of his shoe and causes that abhorrent thing that makes it get under your heel. He just needs to do it. Thats the worst part. If he doesn’t have his daily small crash out, he’ll actually consider listening to the DTC and end up pushing the Watchtower into the sun all because his cape got snagged in between one of the doors.

But one day… One day, he hadn’t had his little daily crash out. He didn’t know why. Maybe it was just that he hadn’t had anything worthy of it. Maybe it was that he wanted to stop his little daily ritual. He doesn’t remember. He doesn’t even remember how he got into this predicament in the first place. All he knows is that he’s now staring at a shattered counter and a bloody knuckle. Don’t worry though, his knuckle isn’t bloody because he hurt it on the counter, no no, it’s because he did that thing where your bite your knuckle to prevent yourself from literally convulsing in rage to the point where you look like you’re having a seizure. So yeah, Billy was at a loss. He’s too broke to pay for this counter, and he doesn’t really want to explain why broke the counter, not he remembers. So honest to the Gods, he just leaves.

Marvel: *clears his throat, looks around, wipes his knuckle on his shirt, and walks away humming the intro tune from his radio show like nothing happened*

Mercury: *sounds like he’s trying to muffle wheezing laughs*

Solomon: *shaking his head in disappointment at Mercury, not Billy*

In Solomon’s point of view, let the little orphan boy have a little tweak out session once a day. It’s better than vaping.

Anyways, not even a couple minutes later, another hero went to the kitchen and was greeted with the shattered countertop, along with a little bit of blood. When they asked around, no one fessed up. They didn’t even consider asking Marvel because he’s not the type to lose his temper. When the footage was reviewed, they were sorely surprised.

Also, the part about Billy’s intro tune from his radio show is a reference to @hermesserpent-stuff’s post about Billy’s radio segue sounds I love their idea. They’re super creative :D

[jjenthusee]

🎃 Halloween Shenanigans Pt.2 🎃

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader

A/N: i’m like the only one wearing a halloween themed shirt on campus rn so im kinda sad no one wanted to be festive 😭 but HAPPY HALLOWEEN ✨😌✨ i’ve been busy with exams this week, so sorry for the short drabbles lately, but ENJOY :) comment if your comfortable, reblog and u will get some flowers 💐 and like if u can <3

Tags: MATCHING HALLOWEEN SHIRTS, worried jason, reader is going to give jason more white hair, pumpkin carving

Check out pt. 1 here!

You grabbed the two round pumpkins, setting them on the table right next to each other. Each picked with the intention to carve them.

“Maybe we should’ve grabbed some carving tools cause all I’ve got are the stuff from my patrol.” Jason came out, wearing the same Halloween themed shirt as you did, holding onto very sharp and dangerous knives that he kept somewhere deep in his utility belt. “They’re clean by the way.”

You glanced over to where he was standing. You watched how he effortlessly handled them.

“Do you trust me with those?” You asked him, raising an eyebrow in question while glancing at the glistening edges of the recently sharpened knives.

“Uh…” Jason contemplated, staring at your eyes shining at the opportunity to handle something so deadly. “Maybe I can run to the store.”

He started to safely put them away.

“They’ve practically replaced all the Halloween stuff with the next holiday items, so we have no choice.” You started to reach for the utility belt.

“And leave you with a knife dangerous enough to cut through Batman’s grappling lines? Yeah, that’s a great idea.” Jason started to turn around to put back his patrol gear.

“Wait! I have you. You’ll help me.” You tried to reason. “It’s also Halloween, we can’t go to the store, there will be nothing there.”

Jason looked back at you, mentally listing all the dangers. His white streak of hair drooping as low as his frown when he couldn’t find a sliver of reason.

“Pleaaaase.” You kept persisting.

Jason sighed.

“This is a horrible idea.”

“Yay!” You cheerfully walked back to the table, getting out a sheet of paper, inking Red Hood’s emblem on it. You were originally planning to do a ghost design, but you had to make sure Jason would let you carve this pumpkin tonight, no matter what.

And if that meant being a suck up, then you were carving that emblem like your life depended on it.

Jason sighed again as he pulled out the chair next to you, watching you draw.

“You really aren’t holding back.” He pulled your chair right next to his, resting his arm on the back to minimize some distance between you.

“Only cause Red Hood is the most handsome, amazing as hell, sexiest vigilante in the entire world.” You smiled wide, patting Jason affectionately on the cheek to seal the deal.

He grabbed your hand, pecking a small kiss to the inside of your wrist.

Gleefully you leaned back, turning your head to kiss his shoulder. The fabric of your matching shirts meeting the edge of your mouth.

You got back to your art piece, trying to make sure the design was perfect.

As Jason watched you, you just let the thoughts of your mind run out. Dinner plans, did you get enough candy for tonight, how you planned to watch all the horror movies you could.

It was questions filled with excitement to Jason as he nuzzled into you, giving as fast of responses as he could, but a big smile was on his face as he listened to you talk and ramble.

“Maybe I could dress up as you next year.” You thoughtlessly said, puncturing holes in the pumpkin for your outline.

Jason’s eye widened. He strangely really liked the idea. A little too much.

“Could you imagine me saving you?” You chuckled to yourself, imagining trying to carry Jason in your arms to safety. “I might have to start exercising to build up the muscle.”

You started your plan in your head. Your eyebrows lowering and nodding as you were starting to like the plan.

“Then I can take a photo of me carrying you, dressed as you.” You looked back at Jason, seriously meeting his gaze.

He was taken back, at your intensity and the clear devotion you were willing to put in.

“You can’t carry me.” Jason lazily shook his head, reaching up to rub the back of your neck affectionately.

“Just you wait. I’m gonna do it.” You turned back to carving. Determination seeping into your veins.

Jason let you get back to mentally planning as he worriedly watched your every move. This was a very dangerous activity. He shouldn’t have let you do this at all.

Once your arms were getting tired from carving, you put the knife down.

“If I can’t even carve this, how will I carry you?” You leaned back into your chair, back into Jason’s side.

“I can finish it.” He kissed your temple.

“No, I’m determined.” You puffed.

Jason was going to break out into a cold sweat.

—

After much arm strength and a piece of candy, you managed to carve out the pumpkin, but it wasn’t that good.

There were knife marks in areas you didn’t mean to put, it was a miracle that you managed to get the general shape of the bat symbol.

“Maybe I’ll let you be the one to handle the knives from now on.” You put the candle in the hallowed center, gently lightning the carving.

You admired your work despite how clumsy it looked.

“It’s perfect.” Jason was finally breathing, he held every breath each time you stabbed the pumpkin.

“Let’s put it outside!” You placed the pumpkin outside your front door.

Jason had managed to carve his, the iconic pumpkin face next to yours. He finished his as quickly as he could since he didn’t want to leave you unsupervised for too long.

He definitely won’t forget another carving kit after this year.

[burreauxpop]

🎉🦇 Happy BATday 🦇🎉

happiest of (early) birthdays to joey 🥹 i hope he knows he’s so talented and admired, and he’s literally the goat (imo) <33 and yes this is someone based off of joe getting a bat mobile…BUT ALAS! joe is so sweet and amazing and regardless of how tonight’s game goes, i hope this awesome, sexy, talented, cute, sweet, iconic, LEGENDARY man has the bestest 28th birthday in the world because that’s what he deserves! 🧡

description: a bulleted blurb where you surprise joe with a lego set and…something else for his birthday ;)

warnings: fluff, suggestive (smut implication), cut-off at the end), reader cosplays (?) as catwoman, implied roleplay…maybe more, idk-

• so, joe’s birthday was coming up. and unfortunately for you…

• you had no idea what to get him.

• you give him gifts surrounding his interests all the time!

• you give him star wars stuff, dinosaur pajamas, etc.

• one time, you gifted him a science kit that he saw in the store one day.

• nerd.

• but it was so heartwarming, seeing his eyes light up like a kid on christmas day. how could you not spoil him?

• even when he protested, saying “babe, i really don’t need anything”

• which he does mean, but truthfully, he’d never turn down a gift from you.

• this year? you had no fucking clue what to gift him.

• you were almost tempted to just cook a nice meal and chill with him (lameeee)

• but you decided to make an effort!

• he is your beloved boyfriend after all

• so you decide to call up ja’marr.

• ring ring

• he picks up, and you ask him what on earth to get joe for his bday

• “well…he likes star wars-”

• “already gave him a star wars gift.”

• “uh, dinosaurs-”

• “he has a t-rex onesie.”

• “spongebob-”

• “no.” (joe has way too much spongebob stuff)

• “man, i don’t know. i mean…he bought a bat mobile, but that won’t come until later-”

• “wait, ja’marr…say that again.”

• “…that again.”

• “…i’m hanging up.”

• “hold on-”

• you hung up. besides, you had an idea anyway.

• that’s when you grab your purse and head to the nearest store; besides, a lego bat mobile set must be common.

• sure enough, you found one!

• but…surely one measly lego set wouldn’t be enough…

• you wanted to do something different. bold even.

• after purchasing the lego set, you immediately went on the hunt for a latex bodysuit.

• that’s right. you wanted to add an element of surprise, and dress as catwoman.

• it’s different

• but it’s quite fitting

• + you might be able to give joe some good birthday sex!

• finally, you found a bodysuit of good quality and wasted no time ordering it.

• this was going to be good.

• timeskip to joe’s birthday.

• he returns from practice, and he’s a bit sweaty (yuck)

• you give him pat on the shoulder, ushering him to hurry and take a shower so he can receive his gift.

• so he does.

• when he comes back, you hold the bag out to him, wishing him a happy birthday.

• you watch him open it, and he pulls out some candy that you knew he liked

• he pulls out a pair of soft batman socks you also got him (he wears socks everywhere)

• and finally, the lego bat mobile set

• his eyes lit up like a big lightbulb, he was so happy.

• though he slowly looks at you.

• “what’s with the batman stuff?”

• “well…i heard through the grapevine you bought an actual bat mobile. so i thought this lego one would suffice until your real one came in.”

• joe pouted. he was going to whoop ja’marr’s ass later.

• nonetheless, you laughed and pat joe’s head.

• “relax…besides, i have one more gift. but you gotta close your eyes.”

• confused, but intrigued, joe closes his eyes.

• you head into a nearby bathroom and change into the latex bodysuit.

• you were nervous, despite having already tried it on

• because what if he didn’t like it?

• (you knew he’d like it. i mean, it’s an excuse for him to gawk at you.)

• once you secure the cat ears, you sigh, heading back out and standing in front of joe.

• “okay. you can look now.”

• joe slowly opened his eyes and…

• holy shit.

• his eyes widened so wide, and his jaw practically dropped to the floor

• “no way…are you-”

• “catwoman? yes~.”

• joe took his time to look over your body.

• the way the latex hugged every single curve you had

• he’d be LYING if he said he wasn’t turned on.

• he very much was, as he smirked at you.

• “god damn, baby…this might be the best gift yet.”

• “yeah?”

• he stood up and nodded, his hands seeking a spot on your waist.

• he needed you. like…now.

• “how about we get to the bedroom…? and you keep this on?”

• “what, you like it that much?”

• “yeah…but…i have a little idea. maybe some acting, if you will.

• you laughed, picking up what he was putting down.

• “sure…as long as you don’t lift a single finger. this is your birthday, remember?”

• “yeah, yeah, i know.”

• with that, he scooped you into his arms, and carried you off into your guys' shared room.

————

WOOOOOO happy joe dayyyy 🤸🏾‍♀️🧡 i’m posting this earlier so we can cry later if we lose and not stress about posting ^^

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Bruce crashed to the ground.

The bright green portal that brought him here snapped shut above him leaving him stranded in an unknown location. He had just managed to stand up when he heard someone call out to him.

"Hey!" A boy with black hair and blue eyes came running up to him, "Are you okay?"

Bruce grunted, glaring at the small creature trailing behind the child through his cowl, "I'm fine. Where am I?"

"You're in Unova, smack dab inside the Pinwheel forest." The kid said, "What an unlucky place to land."

"Unlucky how?"

Aside from giving him a disapproving look, the child was unfazed by his tone. "The Pinwheel forest got its name because its a natural maze. The monsters here are weak but you might find yourself going in circles if you're not careful."

Batman thought for a moment, "monsters?"

The child smiled and Bruce thought he looked like his other children before the boy excitedly introduced his "partner pokemon": Aron

The Aron in question made happy little noises as it approached and nuzzled its metal face into the side of Batmans boot. Cute.

"Oh, by the way, my names Danny. Do you want me to take you to town? There's a professor there that you can talk to. She might not be able to help you get back to your home world but maybe she can find someone who can."

Batman narrowed his eyes at him, "How did you know I wasn't from this world. Thats not usually the first conclution people jump to."

For the first time since Danny had met the Batman he actually squirmed a bit. "Anyway, let's get started! It's a long trek to town!"

It took them about two days to get out of the forest. Danny had thankfully lent him use of his equipment and food. It was nice having a tent to sleep it when the rain hit on the first night, even if it was a little cramped. Aron curled up between them to soak up thier body heat like a housecat.

It was also a relief that Danny could cook, though Bruce had no idea where the child was storing all of this stuff.

Danny ran off into town, saying that people were going to ask a lot of questions if a guy dressed as a bat came strolling into town and if he was going to be staying in this world for a while it was probably best to get him some normal clothes.

Bruce reluctantly agreed and after telling him his sizes the kid ran off to the store, leaving Aron behind to "protect him". Bruce hated relying on a childs generosity to get by.

Soon enough the kid came back with an all black outfit, saying something about it suiting him. Bruce left to change and came back to Danny giving Aron and his other pokemon Staryu some Oran berries.

After that they finally set off to town.

The professor was nice, if infuriatingly calm about giving literal monsters to random children. The professor even offered Bruce a pokemon egg since he was probably going to be in this world a while.

Bruce accepted the gift, wondering what he was getting himself into when Danny got excited.

The child explained that he was a treasure hunter/explorer by trade that survived by finding things he could sell in shops but he wasn't a very strong trainer and had to be careful where he went due to the presence of powerful pokemon.

Danny then asked Bruce to travel with him to be his bodyguard.

Bruce was very displeased to discover people set thier kids loose into a monster infested world around the age of ten and horrified to know the actual survival rate of this stupidity.

Bruce agreed to protect him and got registered as a pokemon trainer and was given the egg and some pokeballs. Danny offered to teach him how to catch pokemon as Bruce planted a listening device somewhere.

They set off back into the pinwheel forest to catch Bruces first pokemon and to start thier journey.

Meanwhile, Dannys excited to travel with someone who seems like a proper dad.

It couldn't hurt to pretend, right?

[phoenixcatch7]

Ooh, what if it made the bodies by sucking the human bodies into a cocoon, and after a period of time it spits out two, one human and the other the empty bat. Like that would be how the psychic connection is formed and it'd explain how and why it takes body parts too.

Maybe it's a Wayne heritage thing? Like, the secret underground flesh plant tunnels could be something established and maintained decades ago before the knowledge was loat/destroyed, but Bruce is the only one who's ever shared it with 'outsiders' so even then there's not a precedent for the amount of activity it's seeing.

Like, they could use it to quickly get around, fast enough to cross the city in minutes, but emerging from it always looks like they've been born from the dirt and bricks, and if they get a good angle it looks like they coalesce from the shadows. Only the right biological trigger - ie, the meat marionettes (disgusting name 10/10 would traumatise a jl member) are able to open it and travel through safely, which means they can't do it in thir humans bodies (apart from Bruce, being a Wayne).

The further down it goes, the less it looks like stone and cave and more the internal organs of some great creature. The tunnels are small and cramped, like nerves or intestines. No one has been allowed that far anyway, but superman refuses to look down when he's in the cave because the view with xray vision is harrowing.

Batman: *having a good day on an engaging but not dangerous case, chirping and whistling a tune in inhuman pitch*

Clark: *realising B can hear and sing in pitches previously only he could hear* *joins in tentatively*

Batman: *stutters over the melody but refuses to give superman the satisfaction a reaction*

Clark: omg he accepts me ^u^! I think we're friends!! He's like me :D!!!!

Robin I, age 12 watching pleased from a distance: do you think they know they're singing the gummy bear song?

Batgirl, also age 12, elbowing him: don't you dare tell them.

Continuing to think about This AU idea and just, slowly rotating it like a microwave.

@phoenixcatch7 had the fun idea of xenomorph-inspiration and the dollhouse being replaced by the Hive instead and I am here for that. A large cave that feels utterly wrong to anyone not part of their colony, if they can even find it. I am thinking something similar to Gemini Home Entertainment if anyone has watched that, with something between plant and flesh growing across the walls. Where one can't tell the difference between the two, or realize that it's already gripping onto them. The caves are already dangerous after all, nevermind the depths that It doesn't let anyone else into.

Also made me think about Jason, and like, so he doesn't die in the cryptid au, and definitely wouldn't in a world where he has a flesh puppet. But that still makes me think about how badly said puppet would be utterly maimed, right? Not to mention the explosion that would burn a lot of it too alongside whatever affect that'd have on his mind and human body. But now I am thinking of how the tunnels are everywhere under Gotham, how the bits of tendrils can reach through that ash, can meld with it, can for a cocoon of sorts. Turning a little robin into something else, letting it evolve into something new.

I am also rotating on if they'd be known to the Justice League like in the Doll au or if only Clark knows about them like in the Genesis au. Tempted for the second if only so there can be fun distinctly Not Human moments. Maybe the Justice League even getting concerned for their friend Superman because there's times he'll whistle or chirp under his breath (he might have picked up a few habits from his friends from Gotham) or literally snap his teeth if he's startled.

But oh the lil robins would probably be so adorable. Very fluffy and downy and brightly colored in a clear warning, but still unsettling. The way they move isn't right, like a jerky contortionist, but can also go too fluid or completely inhumanely still within a heartbeat. Not helped by the fact they don't need to breathe. O h, the batfam could most definitely be venomous. What with how in both Aus they use paralytics and sedatives on their claws and spikes, It could definitely include that within the secondary bodies.

[suzukiblu]

currently having EMOTIONS abt your 'Billy adopts kon and it goes p good actually'. Billy's there just like oh man I'm rambling they're gonna think I'm so lame...meanwhile I as a reader (and presumably also Kon and possibly the other characters present??) are actually going 'oh my god. oh my god he's known Kon for like one singular minute and already arranged a flat according to his best predictions of Kon's needs/wants, gave Kon FIRST PICK OF BEDROOM, and has freely offered to learn how to cook AND how to drive for the sole purpose of taking better care of Kon'. like. oh my god. oh my god. Billy is so precious and I want to give him a hug. I hope Kon isn't too overwhelmed or suspicious due to Billy's enthusiasm tho lmao. (pls could there be..more? more Billy adopts kon, if possible?) anyway I love ur writing. thank you. idk how to ask from a sidelong but this is tryingahandinholdingapen btw :D

I gotchu, friend, lol. @tryingahandinholdingapen But yeah I love a good unreliable narrator, one way or the other it's just so fun peppering in all the bits of "the actual situation that the narrator is oblivious to", hahaha.

Rich people are weird, Billy decides, then sets the swiss rolls and zebra cakes and rest of the strawberry shortcakes on the counter in case Kid Flash is still hungry or Superboy wants any of them and closes the pantry. Batman’s just doing his best, he guesses. Though Billy hopes he knows how to coupon, if he’s always buying brand-name. 

Well, he’s Batman. It’d be weirder if he didn’t know how to coupon, Billy figures.

It looks like Superboy ate all of his snack cake while Billy and Kid Flash were in the pantry, at least, which Billy hopes means he liked it. He doesn’t know how much real food Superboy’s had, but Batman’d said he should be fine eating solid stuff and not just whatever he’d been getting in his cloning pod. Though Billy’d still asked if they could get some bottled smoothies and protein shakes and stuff like that to keep in the fridge, just in case. He figured those might be easier for him to eat and digest, if it came up. Or like, maybe appeal to him more, if nothing else? 

Billy has no idea, honestly, he’s just doing his best here. The wisdom of Solomon is pretty useful but it’s not really, like, that much of a parenting guide. 

He is not going to cut Superboy in half. Like, ever. Like he understands the idea of that story but also it is an insane and incredibly freaky story and he is just not invoking it, ever. Just no way.

“If it’s alright, Captain, we should get going. We’ve got a bit of a drive to get home,” Mrs. West says, then sighs as Kid Flash empties the boxes of swiss rolls and zebra cakes in lightning-fast succession, though he leaves the strawberry shortcakes alone. Billy checks in the fridge and offers him a couple of the more filling smoothies–peanut butter and banana should be more filling, anyway, even with a speedster’s appetite. He steals those from convenience stores sometimes, when he can. He can’t be Captain Marvel all the time. 

Well–maybe he could, he guesses. But he does miss being himself, sometimes.

“Thanks, man,” Kid Flash says eagerly, then immediately shotguns both smoothies. 

“Wally,” Mr. West says in exasperation as Mrs. West sighs again. “Don’t eat Captain Marvel out of house and home.” 

“It’s okay, we’ve got lots of food!” Billy promises cheerfully. “I work with Flash, I know how hungry he gets. I bet it’s way worse when you still have growth spurts to get through.” 

“It is so much worse,” Kid Flash mutters vehemently, eyeing the empty smoothie bottles in his hands accusingly. Billy gets him another peanut butter banana one on principle. He really doesn’t want Kid Flash to be that hungry. It’s . . . not a good feeling. 

“We appreciate it, Captain, really, but we’ve got snacks and a cooler in the car,” Mrs. West says. 

“Oh, good,” Billy says, relieved. Mr. and Mrs. West both give him strange, inscrutable looks, then glance back to Superboy. Billy wonders if he likes peanut butter banana smoothies. Though if he liked the snack cakes, there’s strawberry banana ones too, so that might be better? And strawberry kiwi, but that’s probably less filling. “Superboy, do you want a smoothie too?” 

“No,” Superboy says. Billy pauses again, then gets him a strawberry banana one and tosses it over. Superboy catches it, eyes it, and then opens it and takes a sip.

Okay, Billy thinks he’s getting the hang of this. But also they should probably talk about how “no” needs to actually mean “no”. Like, for Superboy he’s sure it’s just like that phase when toddlers want to say “no” to everything no matter what, but it’s still important for him to understand. Billy doesn’t want to accidentally upset him or overstep because Superboy doesn’t know how to really say “no” to something.

Yeah, they definitely need to talk about that, he decides.

[ignoringmyexams]

Imagine oc is secretly a retired assassin, but moved to gotham to start anew as an investigative journalist looking into the corruption in the city. her employer calls in a favor from the red hood, and makes him watch over her. now imagine them falling in love as oc gets in to weird situations with villains trying to take her down, but she somehow always escapes, leaving behind no hint of what had happened. ofc she doesn't tell jason about any of her skills, so he is growing increasingly confused as she continues to escape from the situations he is trying to save her from, and the bats are constantly harassing him about random dead goons bodies turning up in the weirdest of places.

and then maybe imagine they move in together for her "protection" (its cuz jason just wants to be near her), and so she watches him go out on patrol and come home angry from arguing with bruce and covered in blood. hes secretly scared that she will get upset over the fact that he shoots people (he doesnt kill that much anymore, because he secretly wants to reunite with the bats), but she doesn't care (because shes been doing the same without him knowing)

aaaand then imagine jason gets taken down and kidnapped by the joker or some other supervillain, but the bats dont know and are struggling to find him (bruce has his head up his ass, and thinks that jason doesnt want to be a part of the family anymore, and cant see past his failure as a father), but oc reconnects with some of her old assassin contacts even though she doesn't want to be a part of that world anymore, and finds jason. and when she does, she doesn't just rescue him, but shoots the joker (because its time effective, she doesn't have the most amazing morals (and because she knows how it feels like to know their attacker basically is allowed to walk free, and doesn't want jason to feel that way anymore)), and jason is so amazed that anyone could care for him in that way that they finally kiss and are super cute and smexy and stuff.

aaaand then imagine that batman thinks that jason killed the joker (and is secretly scared that his son is having a mental breakdown, and becoming the joker himself (because again; stick up his ass)), but is too emotionally stunted to deal with it rationally, so he shows up to their apartment, ready to take him in, but finds only oc there (jasons gone to the grocery store to get ingredients for cake or something idk), and bruce has no idea why theres a woman in the apartment (because its a secret that shes being protected by him), and leaves very akwardly.

Later they find evidence that jason was not the person who killed the joker, and he is brought into the family again. and then jason introduces the woman bruce met in the apartment as his girlfriend, and everyone is very confused. alfred obv likes her very much. then damian meets her and ofc they know each other from the league, and everyone is amazed to find out that she is an assassin, and maybe it comes ut that she killed the joker, and bruce is over analyzing everything (because he must make things angsty all the time), but oc claims it happened in self defense, and everyone is still so so confused (because in my mind she isnt the typical looking assassin, i imagine her bonding with alfred over knitting), but she knows and jason knows (and damian, and probably alfred and tim aswell), that she can be a cold blooded killer if pressed, and jason is so so in love with her

can honestly see too that tim already knew of them, and damian too, who decides oc is his sister in law even before her and jason get together

and oc would be friends with vicki vale, with her being some sort of mentor for oc, because i imagine them both to be slightly insane when it comes to getting information and interviews (and from personal experience, these types of journalists either become insane besties, or mortal enemies)

relationship between oc and cass would also be intersting, as i can see oc maybe being trained under cass father? or lady shiva? and her+jason+damian+cass understanding eachothers traumas

and i feel like oc and steph would share the same slightly insane energy

idk ive had this stuck in my brain for so long now, also i havent read or interacted a single piece of canon i fear, so everything i know about the dcu is though fics hhih be kind plz

[paullovescomics]

First, an aside. I still did not get Absolute Superman #1. I got to the comic shop around 17:30, and the second printing was sold out again. There was a just a blank spot with at card that said "one per customer". I'd thought about emailing the store that morning, but then work got busy and i forgot. So i made sure to put in an order for the 3rd printing, but that doesn't come out for like a month. Oh well.

***SPOILERS***

Absolute Batman #2 -- The significance of the thing with the bats that opens this issue escaped me until we see a bit more of it later in the issue. They are covering him, protecting him. They're his armor, and he makes his literal armor in their image. That's cool. Also, those first two panels where young Bruce is calling for his dad, and his dad's body is slumped against the other side of (what i'm assuming is) the door, having put himself between his son and the shooter; and there are bullet holes in the door -- that is some heartbreaking stuff. If this is ever adapted to film, the director would be stupid not to steal that.

The narration by Alfred works well. This idea of Batman continually charging forward, never relenting, is compelling. It's true to the character. It's an effect of his trauma and it's enabled by his drive and abilities. It's a strength and a weakness. Of course we know it's going to eventually go wrong. He'll meet some foe that he can't bowl over, an opposing force that makes him stop; or, his body will inevitably falter and a canny villain will be there to take advantage of it. Either way, he'll be caught off his game, and then we'll see how clever he can get when things are desperate. That might be more exciting with this iteration of the character, since we haven't seen it with him before.

This version of Alfred is growing on me. Normally, I don't like the super spy version of Alfred. I just think that a superhero's world gets more shallow when everyone in it is some type of badass. You need different kinds of people to add more life and variety, and to let normal people contribute in relatable ways. But I guess because this is a fresh start, and we're not learning that he was secretly a badass all along, even though he didn't act that way for decades, etc., but he's just still a super spy, it's working for me. It definitely helps that he's tired and suspicious of his controllers, and that he sees in Bruce someone he can put some hope in.

We get a little time with Gordon, Barbara, and Bullock. Barbara being a cop is interesting. The Batman Beyond show had an older Barbara as chief of police, but I don't remember seeing her as a regular officer before. She's sympathetic to Batman here, so I assume she's become some version of Batgirl, but who knows. Bullock certainly looks different, but I can imagine the familiar Bullock becoming this guy if he were born later, or at least going through this phase before he becomes the deeply disillusioned guy that he is in his classic version. I also like the interaction between Gordon and Martha. If Jim becomes Batman's ally here, and Martha learns what Bruce is doing, there could be some very interesting conversations between them in the future.

The poker game is fun. I hope that the journey to villainhood for these guys takes a while. If we really get to know them, and their turns to the dark side are well told, we could be in for some very emotional tragedy.

I've said before that I wasn't all that hyped for the Absolute series, because there was a chance that they'd just be gritty and no fun. I'm glad that's not the case. There is a tone here that is different from the regular universe, though I'm not sure what to call it yet. But the inclusion of things like the Bat-axe, and this issue's "Batman AF" and the fact that Bruce not only somehow stole and hid a massive, multi-million-dollar construction vehicle (the owners of which are definitely searching for in manic fashion) but also tricked it out with bat-themed armor enhancements reassures me that we are far from po-faced grimness.

And that last page! I can't wait to see young Bruce and Selina getting into trouble. That Bruce is good friends with criminals is so interesting. Where will that go in the long run? Is he sympathetic to "petty" criminals because he knows first hand that some of them come from places where there aren't many options? So only the murderers and the capital V villains need to have their heads bashed in? It would make sense if this version of Bruce was very conflicted about that stuff, and constantly found it difficult to draw that line. So much to mine in this set-up!

[frozenangelcosplay]

The Case for Jimmywing

You can skip to “Let’s start at the beginning” for the actual content of what I’m analyzing.

So about a year and a half ago, I happened upon a trade paperback of “Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen: who killed Jimmy Olsen” at a comic book store we regularly drive an hour just to go to. I found the coat tail riding title self deprecating and hilarious and it instantly became a favorite of mine. And it fucking ruined my life.

For a split second I mistook Jimmy Olsen for being part of Nightwing’s “Ginger Harem” as they call it. I thought “he had to be, right? Like statistically?” He’s part of the young adult demographic, or ‘gen 2’ as I call them, he and Dick are both huge parts of Clark’s life to the extent where they gotta at least be friends, and no one would be shocked if he was one of the redhead’s Dick’s “collected” as they say. So why the hell was there nothing on the internet falling for this obvious set up?

(For context the human geography of fandom behavior is of high interest to me)

This was quite a bit of an anomaly, so I set out for some research. I brushed over results from the silver age initially and saw there was just one panel coming up with both of them in present art style (a twenty years in the future thing). It was more of a Jimmy Olsen cameo than anything where all I learned is they’re not familiar these days. I still liked the idea though and if I left my digging there I probably would’ve let it go a while ago. But then I looked INTO the silver age stuff and OH BOY IS THERE A LOT TO UNPACK HERE.

Long story short, they were written as close friends for years and I feel like DC is trying to gaslight me personally into pretending it didn’t happen. There’s a lot of potential to pick up where they left off with everything that’s happened in their stories since but there’s little to no sign of taking advantage of that anytime soon.

Let’s start at the beginning…

In 1940 both Batman and Superman separately acquired child sidekicks. A pair of eyes in the story the same age of the target audience’s to see themselves in and relate to. Robin would make his debut in the comics as Batman’s sidekick, would be Bruce Wayne’s legal ward, and also dawn combat training, gadgets, and a costumed vigilante identity. Jimmy Olsen would be a cub reporter at the daily planet where Clark Kent worked (a position specified beyond it’s dictionary definition as a teen internship position in “Superman Smashes the Klan”, which is set in the radio show cannon) and help at Superman’s side as himself.

Later, particularly with the classic comic run “World’s Finest”, in a world much less saturated with superheroes, let alone sidekicks, than we have today, the sidekicks of the stars of these comics easily became close friends. Most notable adventure by today’s standard would be World’s finest # 195, probably due to it’s shock and meme value cover of Batman and Superman making their sidekicks dig their own graves.

A personal favorite of mine would be World’s Finest #141 where the sidekicks run away to an island and fake their deaths, making it the first of at least twice they do that together (another being near the end of #195). Here they establish a secret hideout in the mountains in an abandoned observatory to keep souvenirs from their respective mentor’s adventures, and some of their own. (Notably two dummies of themselves Batman and Superman had just used to get back at them for pulling this stunt).

In Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen, Jimmy has also filled in for Robin twice. First time was to get Jimmy into the Mystery analysts (#111), second was to settle a bet after Robin beat him in a “Young Man of the Year” pageant (#130). In #111 this is where Robin trained Jimmy in combat, and some gadget use so he’s got that under his belt now enough to do it all again at least.

Also quick fun fact before I move on, Jimmy knew Robin and Batman’s secret identities LONG before he knew Superman’s. In World’s Finest #144, due to the fact that Jimmy was radiating kryptonite, he and Robin switched mentors and Batman pretty much immediately told him that he was Bruce Wayne, and Dick Grayson was Robin (told with Robin’s approval). A bit of an anomaly, but it carried forth in continuity.

Anyway, if you try to look up any shared adventure’s in recent comics, you’ll unceremoniously get nothing. I mentioned earlier Jimmy’s cameo in “Nightwing the New Order”, and there’s also like two crossed paths in the current World’s Finest run (a flashback continuity) and it just seemed like their dynamic then was just that Robin was relatively annoyed with Jimmy for being the one to debunk Mr. Mxyzptlk and Batmite’s disguises. (Rude?!)

I can’t find ANYTHING that explains this drift. My estimate would be that their dynamic died out some time between Dick joining the Titans and becoming Nightwing. But still remains a glaring connection.

Nightwing and Flamebird

So the first time that the Nightwing mantle debuted it was Superman as Nightwing with Jimmy as Flamebird. They went as these heroes into the bottle city of Kandor on multiple occasions. At the time they modeled these personas off of two kinds of birds found in Kandor, taking inspiration from Batman and Robin. The people of Kandor were convinced that Superman was actively refusing to grow the city again, and deemed him an enemy, which justified the disguises.

You still see this referenced every now and then, usually in museums and stuff, in fact, remember that observatory hideout? Statues and/or costumes of Superman’s and Jimmy’s Nightwing and Flamebird are on prominent display. In fact, Robin and Jimmy landed on naming the place itself “The Eyrie”, because as Robin said:

“In a way, we’re both birds. You’ve been Flamebird, and I’m Robin. So let’s call it the Eyrie!”

They revisit it now and then, but it seems to have been forgotten at this point.

Now since then there have been multiple pairs of Nightwings and Flamebirds. Obviously we know Dick Grayson is THE Nightwing and has been for a long time. The most consistent Flamebird however would be Bette Kane, and here’s where this gets interesting.

So there’s a full Krytonian legend surrounding Nightwing and Flamebird, from what I can tell, different versions, from heroes to gods etc. The most complete version I can only find on the wiki, so if you know where it’s from please let me know!

Here’s the link: https://superman.fandom.com/wiki/Nightwing_and_Flamebird

Here’s the quote:

“The true Flamebird is a massive, flaming dragon-like creature from deep in Krypton's past. The bird's partner is Nightwing, who is also its mate and opposite.

Among the early Kryptonian Gods, Flamebird was charged by almighty Rao with constantly refreshing the world by burning down the new creations of her brother, Vohc-The-Builder. She did so, but there was no hostility between the two; Vohc was grateful that Flamebird constantly pushed him to reimagine his works.

However, to help his friend, Nightwing, Vohc made it possible for him to meet flamebird. As such those two fell in love. Vohc's next creation was a monument representing all of his love for Flamebird. While Flamebird truly admired and appreciated the work, she fulfilled her duty to Rao by burning it down. This time Vohc actually begged for this work to be saved, but Flamebird ignored him. This destroyed much of Vohc and changed him into Vohc-The-Breaker. (Comic Series: Action Comics)

In each cycle, the Nightwing and the Flamebird are reborn, and must find each other. Also in each cycle, they are betrayed by a friend and killed.”

It cites action comics but I can’t narrow it down. My guess is that it came up when Thara Ak-Var and Chris Kent held the mantles.

So Bette Kane initially took up the Flamebird mantle to get Dick’s attention (while he was still Robin). He rejected her and it didn’t really work out which in the grand scheme of all things considered, makes sense thematically in a “pushing fate” kind of way. She was Flamebird for a while after that, even seen fighting beside Dick Grayson’s Nightwing every now and then, but hasn’t been Flamebird since before rebirth so currently no one seems to hold the mantle at present (technically).

So where does that leave Flamebird now?

Well this year, two interesting things have come up. One, in the new cartoon “My Adventures with Superman”, Jimmy is Flamebird again in the form of a username for his conspiracy blog. As of now, he just seemed to come up with it cause it sounds cool, so unless they pull out a “what a coincidence” or back story of how he found the name, that’s probably the extent of Flamebird’s roll there.

The second is in Action Comics #1058 where Kara reveals that Nightwing and Flamebird is actually the fable of the House of El. Each Krytonian house had a fable and this one is spesific to Superman and his family.

Now from here on out this is all just my thinking. “Theory” would even be a strong word implying that I legitimately think this is what is going on. Call this “if I were in charge of this story this is how this would go”

So what now?

Dick as a fated Nightwing makes so much sense for him. Pretty much all of his best qualities as a person can be seen in Superman and in it’s been said time and time again that he got the title from him. There’s that connection. That has my thinking that Nightwing and Flamebird would have a strong connection to the House of El, i.e., Superman. We know Nightwing is Dick, we know Dick looks up to Superman like, frankly most of the time, a better dad than Bruce. Low bar, but still.

And with this connection in mind, and all the history stated earlier with not just Jimmy’s long history with not just Dick, but Superman as well, he seems like the obvious choice to me. They state over and over again how Jimmy proves his loyalty, he’ll charge into danger like it’s nothing (a trait I personally think he picked up from Lois) and he is always such a fun narrator when handed the mic. He’s earned it.

As far as the ship goes, aside from it potentially being a huge payoff for a sixty year old saga of legends of love, heroism, and fate, the dynamics of their modern personalities would be unparalleled.

Over all its fricken WEIRD that their dynamic was just randomly forgotten like that, especially with everything built around them that you’d think would have them at least cross paths. I don’t hold not having a romantic relationship between them against DC, nor do I ever expect them to ever take that route any times soon, but come on man why aren’t they at least friends anymore?

[pekejscatbed]

Runaway and Circus Boy | Dick Grayson & Jason Todd

Info/Warnings:

This is not a ship, however kid Jason does have a very brief crush on Dick (its only mentioned once).

A retelling of Jason Todd's story through my eyes, because I have ideas that I need to share, or I'll literally explode. A lot of stuff is bits and pieces of different canons, just all thrown together into a new shape.

Author is not Hispanic or Romani, but I tried my best to properly portray these characters as such. If something is offense, let me know and I will fix it as soon as I can.

Also, there is some Spanish and Romani in this, though I do not speak either language. However, I looked at multiple different sources (not google translate) to get the translations as accurate as possible. If something is incorrect, please correct me and I'll fix it.

Translations: (Spanish) el chico del circo - the circus boy (Romani) dej - mom, dik - look, măcăleandru - robin

runaway and circus boy masterlist | batman masterlist

———

He's four years old when his stepmother succumbs to some illness, one he's too young to comprehend. His dad ignores him for a week, too busy processing his wife's death to care for his only child, too deep into grief to notice when his son sneaks out one night to run away to the circus that's in town: Haly's Circus. 

It doesn't take much for the boy to get in, security almost nonexistent, and he walks around the circus grounds, sneaking from cages to trailers to tents. He walks by one trailer right as the door opens, and a tall man with light skin, brown hair, and brown eyes sees him before he can run. Behind the man is a small boy, only a few years older than himself, in a red unitard; his skin is a subtle light brown, a shade or two lighter than Jason's, and he has black hair and blue eyes.

The police are called, and Jason is taken back home in a cop car, looking back out the window at one of the circus posters: The Flying Grayson's, it reads, with the picture of the tall man and the child and a woman, who has the same black hair, blue eyes combo as the boy, though her skin a few shades darker than his.

———

He's six when his father is killed by the criminal Two-Face and he's told he'll be put into foster care, but he's heard the stories of abuse and neglect, especially when it comes to children of color like him, so he runs.

He runs from street to street, trying to find a place to hide or somebody who can hide him. Maybe the nice man at the corner store? He's always been friendly to Jason, he's even given him free candy before! So, the young boy makes his way to the corner store a couple streets down from his house, runs as fast as he can, as far as his little legs will take him, he runs, and he runs- 

"Oomph!" He runs right into another boy, one with black hair and blue eyes and light brown skin, and they both fall to the ground. "El chico del circo! You're the circus boy!" 

Circus Boy jumps to his feet and Jason looks up at him with wide eyes full of wonder. The boy offers Jason a hand, pulling him to his feet. "You're the runaway! Are you running again?"

"Richard!" Before Jason can answer, the tall man from before and the poster lady are by Circus Boys side. Tall Man picks Circus Boy- Richard- up, and Poster Lady immediately hugs the two, though scolds the boy, and Jason notices she has an accent he doesn't recognize. "You can't just run off like that, you had us worried sick!"

"Sorry, dej..." Richard frowns at Poster Lady though leans into her touch, before wriggling out of her and Tall Mans grasp and landing upright on the ground, only to jump, literally jump, up in excitement. "Dik, dik! Look! It's the runaway!" 

Poster Lady and Tall Man look down at him with surprise, as if they only just noticed him. Both of them frown and Jason can tell Poster Lady is Richard moms just by the way their frowns are the exact same, and he notices how much more Richard looks like his mom than his dad, or at least Jason assumes Tall Man is the boy's dad, because Jason doesn't look much like his dad, either. According to his dad, though, Jason is the spitting image of his birth mother. 

"Young man, where are your parents?" Tall Mans voice is heavy with an accent that sounds like Tall Lady's accent, and he knows it must be related to the words Richard said to Poster Lady, and Jason gives the look of a startled cat at the mention of his parents. 

Jason runs again. 

(It doesn't take long for someone to find Jason and the boy wonders if Tall Man and Poster Lady called the police again. 

He spends the night at the police station, though he doesn't get much sleep, because at some point in the night he's awoken to an officer yelling about two deaths at the circus. Jason immediately thinks about Richard and wonders if he's okay; his wonders are answered later into the night, when Richard is brought into the station, eyes red and tear tracks staining his cheeks. He's followed by a new tall man, one with fair skin and black hair and blue eyes, and Jason thinks this man looks more like Richard than the other tall man.

Richard looks over at Jason, but the man with him is talking to the crying child before either boy can say anything. The new man, Bruce Wayne, an officer calls him, and Richard leave together.

Jason is put into foster care the next day.)

———

At age ten, Jason drops out of school. His current foster parents don't pay attention to him, not until they get a call from the school about Jason missing his classes, but by then, Jason has already run away again and this time no one finds him; whether they looked in the first place or just gave up on him, he doesn't know, nor does he care. 

———

Jason is twelve now, and he's looking for something- anything- he can steal and make a quick buck off of like he's been doing since he first started living on the streets, when he comes across the Batmobile. The Batmobile, of all things, the car driven by The Batman and his sidekick Robin, though no one's seen the kid in a few months and there's news articles speculating his disappearance- did he quit, did he die, did The Batman fire him?

He's in the middle of taking the tires off the Batmobile when he hears someone clear their throat from behind him, and Jason turns so fast, ready to bolt and never look back-

The fucking Batman is standing behind him, well, in front of him, now.

"That's a crime, you know." It's not a question, but a statement. Batman has the slightest frown on his face and a pair of handcuffs in his right hand. 

"I need the money, bat freak." 

(Bruce Wayne. The name sounds familiar, but Jason figures it's just because he's the playboy billionaire talked about on every news station. Bruce Wayne is The Batman.

And now, Jason is Robin, and Bruce Wayne's adopted son.

(The first Robin, Jason learns, is a boy named Dick Grayson, and Jason can't shake the feeling that the name Grayson sounds familiar, too.))

———

A few months later, and Robin II is meeting Robin I on a random rooftop in Gotham, only Robin I is in a new suit and he's going by Nightwing. 

"More like Discowing. Seriously, what the fuck is that thing?" Jason barks out a laugh. 

"I wouldn't have had to change my suit if you hadn't stolen my old one!"

"You're the one who left, dude. Not my fault you're a runaway."

"Runaway?" 'Discowing' looks at Jason like he's grown two heads. 

And suddenly Jason can hear the slight accent in the others voice, and he knows he's heard it somewhere before, just like the last name Grayson, and- "Fucking Circus Boy?"

Oh. That makes a lot of sense. 

———

Jason learns a lot over the next three years.

He's already familiar with terms like 'gay', 'queer', 'trans', a lot of the other children he met on the streets are there because they've been kicked out of their homes for identifying with words like those, and while Jason's known for a while now that he's never been interested in girls the way he's "supposed" to be, he's never considered himself gay or anything. It's just not something he's ever put a lot of thought into- he's never seen any reason to.

But then Dick and him get closer, they start spending more time together and they hang out as often as they can between school and work and work, not to mention them living in different cities, and then Dick tells Jason, "I'm glad you took my place as Robin, you deserve it. I can't think of anyone better to wear my old costume."

And, really, "my old costume", means two things: yes, it is Dick's old Robin get-up, but it's also made from that red unitard Dick used to wear in his circus days, the very same one he wore the night his parents died, the night his parents were murdered.

Jason can feel his heart beating out of his chest as butterflies swim around in his stomach, and his cheeks warm up and his hands are clammy and- Jason Todd has a crush. On Dick Grayson. On Circus Boy.

(Jason asks Dick, "Why 'Robin'?"

Dick tells him, "It's what my mom used to call me. 'Măcăleandru', Robin.")

———

He's fifteen when The Joker, of all people, finds his birth mother, and he's running off on his own again, ignoring Batman's warning because it's his mother and he has so many questions: 

Why did you leave me? Was I a mistake? Did you ever love me?

Do you even know that today's my birthday? Or how old I am?

Jasons in a warehouse now, trying to save his mother, only for Joker to open his big mouth and laugh and laugh and laugh at him. 

It was a trap and his mom, his own mother, has betrayed him. 

(As Jason takes his last breath, he realizes his dad was right; he does look like his mother. They share the same dark, curly hair, and they have the same naturally tan skin, and Jason's eyes are a similar shade of green, though slightly blue like his fathers.)

———

He'd be seventeen now, today, if Joker hadn't-

(In Blüdhaven, Dick Grayson is celebrating, grieving. 

A birthday cake is laid out on the kitchen counter, three wrapped gifts next to the dessert. One present is brand new, another from a year ago, and the last from two years ago- from when Jason-

Dick lights the candles, the numbers that once read 15 now nothing but a glob of wax that melts onto the molding cake. Not one slice is missing. 

"Happy birthday, Runaway.")

[wonderjanga]

League Money

So, like in this AU, every leaguer gets like this little allowance from Batman for stuff they need as superheroes. Now, Billy’s never used the fund, as Marvel doesn’t really need food, or water, or anything like that. He’s never thought to use it for himself because “that’d be wrong”. But one day:

Marvel: “Flash, how was your day?” Flash: “It was good. I got some groceries with the trust fund Spooky gave us.”

Marvel: “Wait what? You can do that?” *whispering like this is some dirty secret*

Flash: “Uh… Yeah? Hal used it last week to get hair gel. Bats never said anything, so I’m pretty sure it’s fine.”

Marvel: “Oh.” *remembers the many winters he nearly starved to death in* “Okay.”

Later…

*Marvel now back as Billy, is arm deep, rummaging through his pocket dimension*

Billy: *grabs onto something* “There you are!” *pulls out shiny credit card and looks at it in awe*

This single credit card held his league money.

Billy: *looks over to his little stash of food. Rats had eaten it all recently. Looks back to the card* “This is a bad idea.” *stands up and starts heading to his door, shoving the card in his pocket* “This a really bad idea.”

*Billy walks to the grocery store and enters, ignoring the concerned look from the cashier wondering why a little kid came into the store alone*

Billy: *grabs a cart and grabs a bunch of nonperishables, all with a guilty look cause he feels bad about spending the money on himself. Rolls up to the cashier*

Cashier: “Uh… Hey, little guy.” *little wave* “Is your dad nearby?” *looks around for literally any parental figure*

Billy: “Yeah, he’s outside.” *still looks guilty*

Cashier: “Oh, okay.” *still looks a little concerned but starts scanning items* “Is your school doing a canned food drive?” *eyes the various cans as they scan them*

Billy: “Uh… Yes.” *takes out the credit card and hands it to the cashier because he’s too short to reach the scanner without standing on his tip toes*

Cashier: *scans the card for him* “It declined.”

Billy: “What? Can you try again?” *does not want to inconvenience this poor cashier by making them put all the cans away*

Cashier: *Swipes the card again and it once again declines* (Marvel needs to be the one to swipe it, the average Joe, including Billy, can’t cause Batman did some freaky stuff and made it so that only the person the card belongs to can make it work. Billy didn’t know.) “It declined again. Why don’t you go get your dad or mom? I’ll hold your stuff.”

Other customers in line: *groans of annoyance*

Billy: “I’ll try!” *Runs out of store panicking. Runs to an alley and shazams into Marvel*

Marvel: *still panicking, whips out a spell that changes his suit into civvies. Runs back as fast as a normal human can. Enters store and speed walks as calmly as he can back to cashier* “Sorry. My- uh son told me the card wasn’t working?”

Cashier: *jaw drops when they see Captain Marvel walk through the door in normal clothes*

Other customers in line: *jaws also drop*

Marvel: “Uhm… My card?” *holds hand out for it*

Cashier: *uses one hand to close jaw back up and with the other hand, gives the card to Marvel* “Right. It declined a couple times.”

Marvel: “Really?” *swipes it and it accepts* (Billy was jumping in joy inside) “Would you look at that? Must’ve been a fluke.”

Cashier: *still a little speechless at Captain Marvel being in front of him in civilian clothes. Also that little kid was the Captain’s kid?* “Sorry.”

Marvel: “For what? I doubt it was your fault.” *walks over to grab the bags of cans* “Thanks for helping my kid.” *gives cashier signature sunny smile before walking out of the store, then promptly sprinting home*

[koszmarnybudyn]

For headcanons, I've been thinking about certain merch Hermie might have. I think it'd be fun if he had a few mugs, posters, and other decorations/accessories.

For one mug idea, I imagine it's a Two face themed one with a big coin on both sides. The coin has two face on it with him turned to the left on the tail side and right on the heads side.

Also maybe Hermie has a comic-strip patterned blanket but instead of using it, most of the time he leaves it hanging up in his bedroom to look at :)

Do you have any specific Hermie merch-related hcs?

Okay i read this as like what merch should hermie get as in on the official dndads store lol, but i got it now haha.

But as of my first thought i think the dndads crew would get so much money if they created a hermie squich toy like the bugging eyes one, the fandom would go crazy for that, we would be lost in the sauce. A visual aid below:

But as of merch he would own, i think he has a lot of posters, definitly clothes/cosplays to stay in charakter, i think he definitly has a heavy book shelf filled to the brim with comics. He has funko pops, and like so dang many, im sorry he does. I feel like he has a dc crossover hatsune miku or like a sexy anime version of a dc charakter that taylor gifted him. He has batman themed pjs definitly and a really ugly onesie. Idk what else he would have really. I think he's a guy who enjoys vintage, so he definitly has some vintage stuff.

[transfemjoker]

I ❤️ ur Joker so much can I hear ur hcs for her? 😼 also maybe some batjokes hcs sprinkled in there heh

this FANTASTIC ask has been rotting in my inbox for months so here’s my current wealth of joker hcs. written on paper. in unintelligible handwriting

im sooo normal and regular about her <3 (transcript below cut)

thinking soo hard about my au joker. he's consuming my every waking thought! he lives in my brain!

soo I talked about her a little already but he's intersex and uses he/she pronouns :) his gender doesn't really exist she just does what she wants (whatever's funniest)

anyways she looks predominantly physically male - flat-chested, long-limbed, laryngeal prominence, etc. - but his hormone balance isn't super testosterone-heavy. like she can't grow bodily or facial hair (he does have eyebrows/eyelashes and a full head of hair though) and i believe he has a set of ovaries (but he can't get pregnant lol. he's sterile and doesn't have a vagina so they're kind of just in there)

other biological quirks include faster cell growth - like wounds heal faster and hair + nail growth is sped up - she also has a VERY strong immune system and rarely ever gets sick, has weird reactions to fear toxin + ivy's pheromones (+ a lot of prescription drugs and medical anaesthetics don't really work on him), she has a ridiculously high pain tolerance but feels it really acutely (he can just deal with a lot of it), has a lot of chronic nerve pain like a constant crackling surface pain (stolen from that one LKOE dracze fic) and part of her masochistic streak relates to the fact that strong pain breaks up the nerve pain (that and marginally faulty wiring), and she for some reason has reflective retinas like an animal! which is real spooky

her bleached skin is really thin + pale and you can see a lot of veins under it so he looks like a deep sea creature → she's also incredibly emaciated and looks real skeletal - his body mass is super low + it's kind of a medical mystery that he doesn't have some kind of fatigue disorder. I think it's something to do with how his body processes and stores nutrients. idk

before her first outing as 'the joker', he used to stalk bruce around the city when he was on patrol. she did this for maybe a year, and bruce would sometimes see him stood in alleys, perched on rooftops, watching him. bruce spotted her maybe a total of 12-15 times, and kind of doubted that he wasn't just hallucinating; it would've been an eerie image - a figure, ghostly white, skeletal, dressed in a hospital gown + sporting dead eyes and a head of long, straggly green hair - and bruce had only been on the job for about 2 years so he wasn't quite as paranoid yet. when joker first came to prevalence that's when bruce realised it was her :) idk i just want him to haunt bruce in a way that he can't shake similarly to the memory of her fall at ACE

also! some details from canon that I'd like to insert: ↓

- the birthday gifts thing: I really liked that idea and think it's a very joker thing to do - she also celebrates anniversaries (eg. their first fight, bruce's first outing as batman, joker's first major crime, the incident at ACE, etc.) he's sentimental :) - his affection for crossdressing (it isn't really crossdressing in this context but. whatever the instances of it are canon) i think it's neat idk i like seeing her visibly gnc - I wanna keep the wide shapes of a lot of storylines like europa + snyder's stuff (the bench universe, dotf and endgame, etc.) + devil's advocate + joker's apprentice + maybe chunks of deadly duo + broken city + other things - might contain (while credited) some stuff from fit as well bc i'm a total loser ← currently writing fic (like two step and you're by excuse to travel by synthwave + maybe sucker for pain by transformatron + green the colour of greed by distortopia + something these angels wear and with my toes on the edge by cultivation + chunks from other stuff) idk it's kind of difficult to ascertain the speed at which i want their relationship to escalate. we'll see! i definitely want something to have happened during europa (and I'm treating that dracze fic set in the bench universe as canon) but like. they might just be trapped in perpetual hell like in the comics. thanks bruce's morality - i also want to note that in this au literally most everything else is the same as in canon. I'm gonna be drawn to include my headcanons for all the characters and whatever but the batfamily is still constructed the same + jace still dies and babs is still paralysed + the JL is still established + at its core it's still the same thing :) while i'm here i want say though that it's likely i'll take the telltale route with bruce's parents having mob ties because i think that throws a fun moral wrench in the works for him to deal with - much of my interpretation of the joker is based on a grant morrison's interpretation of him. morrison is such a majorly influential writer for me and their description of joker in the arkham asylum cut script notes was tbh my major inspiration for this version of joker :) like that thing they said: "pale and emaciated, he should look simply grotesque but standing there, hand on thrust-out hip, he projects an absolute confidence that confers upon him a bizarre kind of attractiveness and sexuality. it is the attraction of the perverse and the forbidden." - btw. i wanna make a point to include matches malone in my canon. bruce actively uses the matches persona :)

i wanted to detail her weird physical appearance mostly for the sake of the image of him in Arkham; no makeup, no costume, no way for her to dress himself up. he struggles a lot with her image + not feeling attractive or desirable (very 'if i gave up on being pretty i wouldn't know how to be alive') and arkham makes him very unstable because he has no way of controlling the way he's seen

he also has a prosthetic eye like in the comics :) i'd like to think she lost her eye in an altercation with bruce and it helps tie bruce's morality to the joker - whenever bruce sees him, it reminds him of how much harm he causes. lol! i LOVE torturing bruce he's such an interesting character giggles :)

btw for the record i'd also like to state that i consider bruce and joker's relationship to be inherently sadomasochistic in nature. considering joker's canonically a masochist and gets off on what bruce does to him + bruce recognises this and continues to pursue her just the same. they're SO interesting to me

i also believe the thing from the comics about joker's worldview; that she believes he and batman are the only real people in the whole universe. i think it provides such an interesting perspective on his actions - (in that context) he crucially doesn't see the people he kills as people, but rather like. tools. symbols. i think it really communicates the central conflict of his character idk i think it's interesting

on a less deep note, he has a thing for clothing and makeup. she has HEAPS of it stored in warehouses + stuff. he's really good at concealing her safehouses so a lot of it goes undiscovered. he gets his foundation from japanese theatre companies bc they're the only places that do it light enough lol. also important to note that he wears garters + sock suspenders + shirt stays + corseting + structured undergarments + heels + super complex layers of clothing. he prides herself on the craft of it :)

she really takes pride in her performance + the way she's seen - her whole life, his whole career is one big performance. there's very little underneath 'the joker'. he doesn't know who she is, he has no life before bruce, no name, no identity, nothing outside of her fixation on the batman. he was ther at ACE that night (she believes he is - or at least his negligence is - what made her) and joker really clings to batman as a point of stability and focus because, unlike bruce, he has nothing outside of his persona. the batman is bruce wayne (shocker) - he has a life, people he loves - but joker has nothing. that's part of the reason joker's so desperate to ignore that bruce has a 'real identity' and is so defensive of people discovering it; as well as meaning the destruction of batman, it would also remove joker of her ability to deny that there is a person behind batman. he wants so badly to believe that this is all bruce has - that HE is all bruce has - just as is true for him. beneath it all, she just wants to be loved. she just wants to not be alone.

sigh! that was a lot! i don't wanna make him just a deep, dark, brooding character that's BORING that's bruce's job lol. loser. anyways she can be silly too he has whimsy in her soul as well :) i believe soo intensely in DC's ability to be a silly universe because it's inherently so stupid as a concept so to me silly guy joker is real <3 they can have fun

joker getting roped in on justice league stuff is soo personal to me let her be helpful let him make fun of the JL and their stupid missions :)

btw. for future reference he is in no way attracted to women (sorry yuri joker) his relationship with harley (+ MAYBE punchline. strong maybe. only as his protégé) is PURELY manipulative and joker NEVER thought of or treated her sexually or romantically. there's still gonna be animosity there though lol because he still abused and manipulated harley and she still thought joker loved her, but the fact remains that he isn't even vaguely attracted to women so! idc punchline likers so somewhere else lol

another thing from canon (devil's advocate) i'd like to steal is the fact that joker sleeps with his henchmen :) it's real to me

she has a lot of silly pseudo-crushes on a lot of other characters (like lex luthor + bane + lobo + killer croc + superman + what have you. he's a slut what can i say) but none of them will EVER be bats! they know their place and it's NOT in murder-suicide love with her

kicks feet idk i have so many thoughts about joker even though i feel so cringe writing them down. idgaf this is important work

[burritowitch]

okay so ive just been in the mood to talk about comic book stores lately so im going to talk about them.

buying physical comics and figures and stuff from comic book stores may not seem like supporting small businesses, since all of the stuff is merchandise from large scale corporations, but it actually is! most comic stores are independently owned and run by individuals. i dont think ive ever heard of or seen a chain comic shop. and this usually means that you can get to know your local comic owner and have conversations with someone who wants to be there and doesn't have to be there. its also just really nice to be able to spend time looking through the new releases for the newest updates and looking through the back issues in the boxes. its just really fun.

the first time i went to a comic shop was when i was six. it was a small local shop run by this guy named ralph that my aunt had found a few years before this while in town. my aunt was in town and it just happened to be free comic book day, so we went to go pop in for some free comics. we continued to go to this store, that i will from this point on refer to as 'ralphs'. then, when i was twelve, i gained a sudden interest in comics that soon devolved into a hyperfixation. so i looked up a list of books and dragged my mom to three different libraries, none of which had comics. so i dragged my mom to the nearest comic book store. it also just happened to be free comic day, that was not intentional it just was how it was. so i picked up free comic day comics and my first ever full price comic: batman: beyond the white knight #1. i had no clue what was happening, the existence of terry mcginnis confused me, and i was really really confused. but i loved it so much. so the next week i went back and got batgirls 4, 5, and 6. by this point i had slightly more comic book knowledge and had peeked at comic tumblr. but i did it. the next month my aunt was back in town for a week so my mom had the good idea of going to the comic book store so that my aunt could properly show me the ropes or something, and we went to ralphs. you should have seen me i was a kid at a candy store i was having such a good time. i forget exactly what i got but i do remember i got aquamen #2 and wondergirl #1 and some other stuff. from there, i just kept going to ralphs every month. i still do, at the end of every month.

and man, i love that store. the vibes are great, and as a woman in a male dominated hobby, thats really important. i have never once felt like i didnt belong in the store, and i can always have a conversation with ralph without it feeling weird. and we always do, he'll talk to me and my mom about different comic media coming out like movies and shows, he'll ask me how i liked the books i got last month, he's always been really helpful. store always has what im looking for, its really well stocked and has marvel, dc, manga, and a lot of indie books.

i really wish i could say what the store is, but that would disclose the area i live in and i dont want to do that, so yeah. but to all comic fans, go check out your local comic stores and see whats up, buy a book or too and support small businesses, you might be able to have a nice conversation and a meaningful experience embracing your love of comics.

tldr; check out your local comic book store, it'll be worth it.

[ducknotinarow]

( Imma send more later, but - ) His secret had been long out, concerning his little blossoming crush. It's a wonder he hadn't been questioned by Mikey yet about it. "Let me guess, you hate me now, too?" Arms are folded against his plastron, but he looks calm. For the moment at least. ( 2003 verse for the bab. :3 )

| Muse interaction

It never took long for any thing to slip and make the rounds when any of them had a secret. Though Mikey had to admit even this was a bit well out there. Seemed nearly everyone had made their opinions made on the matter of Leo having a crush at least it seemed to only be a crush. On one of their biggest, nastiest foes ever. Like this guy was up on the list a lunatic cosplayer with quite the sick and twisted mind. He had overheard Leo and Raph's talk hard not to with Raph's big mouth after all. Mikey just wasn't sure what to make of it at the time he had been lying low in all truth keeping to himself. Buried away in a reread of the Justice Force. He was trying to sort of just leave his mind blank and empty over the matter. Not that he wasn't aware of others all starting to state what they thought about all of this towards Leo themselves. Funnily enough they were a very opinionated family. Hidden behind the paper boxes he used to store and organize his comics like a nice little reading nook. Everyone seemed pretty focused and busy with what was going on with Leo to even pay a second towards Mikey. Of course, their leader in Blue however would eventually sniff him out and find him. Mikey's noticed their feet when he lowered his eyes over the panels of his comic. Slowly lifting his eyes up and lowering his comic when he came to see it was Leo. He offered them a smile and set the comic to his lap as he went and idly rubbed the back of his neck. "aw man is training back on now? Thought we all were getting a nice long break since ya know everyone's pissed and we might kill each other." He joked a little trying to get a feel for his brothers mood in the moment.

"Let me guess, you hate me now, too?"

"wha!?" the word falls out of his beak before he can turly have a chance to process that idea.

Comic soon closed, and tossed off with no care where it landed in the moment. As Mikey went and made his way out from his little make shift box book nook as he went to stand up watching how Leo was keeping himself closed off by crossing his arms over his plastron. But that didn't stop the look on Mikey's face how could leo ever think that? "Leo I could never hate you, you're my big brother I look up to the most ya know? I don't take the ninja stuff seriously but your like my role model when it comes to it and-" He slowly closes his beak a bit and lowers his gaze taking a moment to think. In truth he was trying not to think about this all. Trying to avoid it if he could and guess his time sort of ran out on that. "Honest Lee? I dunno what to think if I'm honest. Heh I'm used to not ever thinking I guess."

Mikey jokes a bit as he looks back to Leo now, letting his usual smile weigh down. He starts to play with the end of his mask feeling over the strands as he dose try and think about it. He just felt like he owned it to Leo in the moment his big brother, the one often most on his side. Seemed to least think he had some worth. The one he wish he could be like more if he bothered to ever try. But, Leo also somehow manged to like someone like Bishop? That was hard to process he had to admit. "Lee I don't get it I guess, ya always all about honor and doing the right thing. Wanting to save and help others. If it's out fight or not. You're like the heroes in my comics..the ones I wanna be like." he slight confesses because he wants to be like Leo too. "But the hearts a weird thing. Sometimes the string on it get tug by someone you don't expect. I mean heck if batman can love cat women and she turned out to be good in the end" he rambles a little comic's were all he really knew after all. "I don't trust Bishop Leo but i have always believed in you. So I may not get this crush of yours you got going don't mean I could ever hate you. I trust you. I know you know hes nuts but well." he trails off once again. "I'll trust you know what you're doing." Moving to hug them anyway not care how Leo had his arms crossed in the moment. "I think you're nut too but I could never ever hate you Lee."

[deviljaythey]

OH HI DIDN'T EXPECT THIS JDFSLKSDJF. This sounds fun I'll do it

a scent you love:

I love the smell of cleaning supplies, especially Fabuloso. When I'm at a store I love just walk down the cleaning supplies aisle and smelling everything it's so refreshing. Just don't try to smell straight from the container I did that once and I almost passed out ajkfldjslkfjdskfl.

something you're looking forward to this week:

I'm hopefully gonna starting learning how to use tarot! My friend gifted me two decks and it's gonna be really interesting diving into using them. I'm really glad to be starting this little journey as a witch.

a book you're currently reading:

The Last Wish by Andrzej Sapkowski. I've been wanting to get into the Witcher series for a while and it's really great from what I've read so far. You'd think it be more dark fantasy but no it's really a lot like old fairytales and I really love that. I've also being reading D.Gray-Man by Katsura Hoshino which is also fantastic. I own all the volumes now (except volume 25 I HATE YOU AMAZON) and I'm excited to binge read them all.

a game you're currently playing:

I just finished Spider-Man 2 a few days ago and I had a great time. The game is really flawed especially in the middle parts of the story but it ends in a great way. I love Spider-Man so I of course had a good time. You could give me a rock with a Spider-Man sticker and I would love it.

the most recent movie you watched:

The Batman (2022) - I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I WAITED SO LONG TO SEE IT IT WAS SO GOOD. I love Batman so much and the movie really understood the character and adapted him in such an amazing way. Robert Pattinson did such an amazing job and I could truly believe that he was both Batman and Bruce Wayne. I'm finally happy that there's a good live action Batman movie that really understands the character and does him well. Also Lego Batman > All of the Nolan Trilogy if you disagree you can FIGHT ME.

a show you're watching or listening to:

I've been recently getting into Gundam which is really great, the characters react to everything with such intense emotions that is both hilarious and gripping. Also giant robots will always be cool and if you disagree you are wrong.

your favorite season:

Autumn is so amazing. It's cold but not too cold like winter and the plants still have some life in them but aren't triggering my allergies like in spring. Also autumn has such beautiful colors that it just makes everything so pretty. Also HALLOWEEN.

something you've learned recently:

I've been watching a lot of videos about baking and cooking and I now know why salt is added to stuff, it's to bring out the flavor of the other ingredients. I know this is basic but I don't know anything about cooking jdfskfjdslkfksfds.

have you had any water lately?

YES, I have a water bottle next to me at all times. I take meds that dehydrate me so drinking as much water as possible is very important

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAGGING ME, idk who else to tag so I'll just tag @distantflickering. that will work djfkldsjflkdskjf

fun facts about me (tag game)

thanks to @elizmanderson for the tag! no-pressure tags for @audliminal @allmyuglyorgans and @usagiwaffles

a scent you love:

vanilla extract. genuinely. i know this is the vanilla extract site, but i love the smell of vanilla extract.

something you're looking forward to this week:

hopefully making some mince pies, since my holiday baking got delayed by unforeseen circumstances

a book you're currently reading:

none at the moment! just finished Margaret Meyer's The Witching Tide. next on the list will either be Julia Armfeld's Our Wives Under the Sea or Alix E. Harrow's Starling House.

a game you're currently playing:

baldur's gate 3. i have been playing this game since it came out and i still haven't made it past act 1 lmao. i also picked up totk for the first time in aaaaages the other day. i will slowly but surely continue to make progress

the most recent movie you watched:

Klaus (2019) - very cute, very fun, especially as someone who's meh on most Christmas movies

a show you're watching or listening to:

i've been dipping back into Upstart Crow for a laugh + really enjoyed the Doctor Who Christmas special!

your favorite season:

spring! upside: birthday + flowers + return of greenery + sense of renewal after the long nights of winter. downside: allergies.

something you've learned recently:

whales molt! i have been excitedly informing my family of this fact ever since i learned it.

have you had any water lately?

i saw this post, went "aha! i will go drink some water before replying!", immediately got distracted, and forgot to drink water. i am going to go drink a glass of water RIGHT NOW!!!