#But also all the people I did help and save

[starkeynation]

I love you, I’m sorry

A letter from reader to Rafe

Content: Angst, like PURE sad, the lamp looks weird, based on the song I love you, I’m sorry by Gracie Abrams (may or may not be accurate)

A/N: about that cliffhanger and happy ending, I changed my mind… also ignore any writing mistakes if there’s any and this was kinda rushed so I hope it still turns out good

Masterlist

dividers from @anitalenia

Rafe,

It is Saturday night. I should be out doing something, partying or whatever to enjoy myself, yet here i am, pen in hand, finding myself writing to you again. I know this letter will never reach you- it’ll end up crumpled at the bottom of my drawer or burned to ashes. Still, I can’t seem to stop myself.

It has been exactly two august ago since everything fell apart. I remember the way I laid it all out, raw, I wanted to be real, hoping that honesty would mend us. We weren’t perfect. Hell, we were far from it. We fought like fire and gasoline, burning everything we touched. Jealousy leads us to mistrust each other but even then, I didn’t think it would end the way it did. I never thought that fight would be the last..the final, devastating blow before you ghosted me and blocked me everywhere.

I swear it wasn’t my intention to break up with you, I thought by exposing the cracks, we could patch them together. Instead, the truth just ended up pushing you away. When you drove off in your Benz and left me standing at my gate, it felt like everything had stopped. The time, the world, my heart…everything froze. I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to scream, I wanted to stop you, beg you to stay, to tell you that we could still save us but you didn’t look back, and i was too late.

Now, i watch you from a distance as you become successful, helping your dad doing business, running Cameron’s development like you were born to do it. I heard your name whispered in admiration at the club where I work, how you charm people the way you trained for. And you know what? I’m so so proud of you Rafe. I always knew you had it in you. I’ll be rooting for you always, even from the shadows.

Maybe two summers from now we’ll be talking again at some point, exchange smiles, our lives untangled and we’re cool again. I can picture you’ll be in your family’s jet, travelling, and me, on my boat moving on with our own lives. By then, i hope..im actually ready to move on. I know you’ve already moved on- I mean, why wouldn’t you? Still, there’s part of me wish that you wouldn’t yet, and maybe, just maybe, you would take me back.

But that’s just selfish isn’t it? I was selfish when we were together too. I made everything about me, i was inconsiderate, I turn something small into raging battles. I didn’t listen, didn’t see you for who you were. I’m ashamed of the person I was, of the mistakes I made. After everything i did, I’m surprised you haven’t send someone to kill me yet.

Lately I find myself sitting on the porch, watching sunsets like we used to, with a glass of something strong in my hand. I laugh at myself, at the crash I made, because what else can I do? It’s a twisted kind of coping—laughing at my own heartbreak. It doesn’t feel real and it’s really hard to let go but i guess that’s just the way life goes.

I know i was a dick, Rafe. I had too many flaws to count but as sick as it sounds, I loved you first. You’ll always be my first love. You were the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me, a storm that left me shattered but alive. Your love had impact me deeply, it is carved in my soul. No matter where we are, i want you to know that I’ll carry the past and the weight of my mistakes with me. Trust me, it will always, haunt me.

I regret every second for not treating you well, for not being the person you needed. Lastly, i want you to know that I still, truly, deeply, love you, I’m sorry.

*Ding* you heard the bell rings. You rush downstairs to answer the door.

“Pizza delivery”, says the delivery boy standing in front of you. You almost forgot you ordered one, an hour ago. You take your prepaid alfredo chicken pizza and thank him. It was Rafe’s favourite pizza, you’re not sure if it’s still his favourite though. After shutting the door, you walk to your kitchen.

Just two seconds later, *ding* the bell rings again. Did the delivery boy forget anything? You thought.

You open the door, “yes-“ you pause. You couldn’t believe it, standing right in front of you,

“Topper?”

“Topper what are you doing here?” you ask, your voice laced with confusion.

He then steps aside and reveals a man behind him, lying on the steps of your porch- a man whose silhouette you’d recognize anywhere. “Rafe,” you whisper.

“Shit I’m sorry to bother you but this dumbass got into an accident for driving while he’s high,” Topper blurts out, panickly.

Your brow furrowing and your confusion deepens. You walk closer to Rafe and spot the blood dripping from his head, “Accident? What? Then why do you bring him here instead of the hospital?” You ask, your voice sharp, slicing through the chaos of the moment.

“He won’t let me. He insisted I bring him here to see you,” Topper explains.

“Y/n,” Rafe speaks up, his voice low and strained.

Your heart skips a beat. It’s like the universe has stopped spinning again. This is the first time you hear him calling your name after two whole years.

“Hey Rafe, you’re bleeding,” you say, your voice mix with feelings.

“I’m fine,” he says, giving a soft, disarming smile while trying to sit up.

You instruct Topper to go find some cloth to stop the bleeding. As he dissapears, you sit on your knees facing to Rafe, “Rafe, what happened? Why are you here?” you ask, still have no clue of what’s going on here.

“I wanted to see you,” he replies, putting on that damn smile again, the one that’s always managed to unravel you. “I miss you, y/n.”

Your face goes pale, your eyes widens, the words hang in the hair, heavy and unexpected. “Rafe, you’re drunk,” you accuse, trying to make sense of what’s happening right now.

“No, I’m not, i swear I’m very conscious right now,” he insists, his voice firm. You’re still not sure if he’s telling the truth or not. “I really miss you, y/n,” he continues, his voice low but still clear for you to hear it.

Your heart aches, torn between disbelief and the undeniable pull of his words. “How hard did you hit your head? God, you’re still bleeding. We need to see a doctor,” you say, trying to stand up, but he grabs your hand, pulling you back down.

“Stop it, I’m fine i swear…this is nothing,” he says waving off the concern. Just then, Topper returns with a towel in his hand. He hands the towel to you and says, “dude, are you sure you’re okay? When i saw your car there were smokes everywhere. Looks like you hit that tree pretty hard,” his voice fill with concern.

“I’m fine Top, just go. I need to talk to y/n,” Rafe says with a dismissive wave. Topper hesitates, he looks at you for confirmation as if you’re the one in charge here. You nod at him, signalling an approval, “s’okay Top i can handle this.”

“Okay, just call me if anything happens,” he says. “Thank you,” you mutter softly to Topper as he’s leaving towards his car.

With Topper gone, you shift your focus back to Rafe. You take the towel and start dabbing on the blood on his forehead, “we still need to get this stitched up,” you say. Rafe then grabs your wrist, his grip firm but not forceful, “look at me,” he demands.

You look at him straight in the eyes, drowning in his blue eyes. It’s overwhelming- staring at the man that you love but no longer yours.

“I do mean what i said, i miss you y/n and i wanted to see you,” he says, his tone steady and sure.

“But why now?” You ask, your voice breaking under the weight of the question.

“Sar..Sarah told me tonight that you’ve been writing letters about me. She found them stashed under your bed,” he says, hesitantly.

Your stomach drops and you shake your head in disbelief, “God…i knew it there was something wrong. She was acting so weird when she left this morning,” you mutter.

“So it’s true? You’ve been writing about me?”

Your face is turning red, you’re struggling to find the words. “I- yes…I’ve been writing letters. Pretending like I’m gonna send it to you but i never do,” you stutter.

“Why didn’t you just send them?” He presses, his voice low, almost pleading.

“You know why Rafe…you’ve moved on. You blocked me few months after we broke up. You’re thriving now with your job, you got your whole life together, and I- I was the reason why we broke up. I can’t just crawl my way back into your life like nothing happened,” you shatter, your voice breaking as you’re struggling to control your tears.

Rafe shakes his head. He brushes his thumb over your knuckles and kisses it. “You’re wrong y/n, you’re absolutely wrong. I’ve been doing nothing over the past two years except than trying to forget about you. That’s why I’ve been doing all these jobs, thinking it could distract me, but no,” he shakes his head again. “Nothing could make me stop thinking about you.”

His confession leaves you breathless, your tears streaming down your face as he continues. “About the blocking and disappearing, I’m really sorry, I was a coward. The truth is, that day i came to your house to apologize. Then, as I stood outside, i saw you were laughing with jj through your window. I knew you guys were not together cause after jj left, I may or may not have confronted him…” he then mouthed sorry. “But then, I remember the way you looked so happy when you’re with him. At that time, I knew I had to let you go cause you deserve someone better and you deserve to be happy so that’s why I blocked you..as if that makes any difference.”

You idiot,” you scoff. “I never wanted anyone else, only you Rafe, only you. You’re the only one who could truly make me happy.”

His eyes glisten, his smile soft and hesitant. “Please forgive me y/n, I swear I’m a better person now and I love- I love you, so much. I still do.”

You reach up, caress his cheek and pull him in for a kiss. “I love you too Rafe,” you whisper. He cups your face and returns the kiss. The kiss is passionate, slow and tender. His lip is so soft and only god knows how much you miss this. The world fades around you, leaving only the two of you, two broken pieces finding their way back to each other.

You pull away from his face and let out a giggle. “Why are you laughing?” He asks, can’t help but let out a soft giggle too.

“Before you came I was actually writing another letter for you,” you admit, a shy smile appears on your face.

“Oh really? Tell me about it baby,” he smirks. Your smile widens at the sound of the nickname that rolls out from his mouth. “Mm I miss that. You, calling me baby. Anyways, it’s in my room, wanna come in?” You ask.

He shakes his head, pulling you closer as he leans back against the stairs railing. “Hmm in a bit sweetheart, you can tell me here while we stargaze. I missed your porch- and mostly you, of course,” he replies with a faint smile.

So you do. You talk to him about the letter while your head rest on his shoulder and your fingers intertwined. “Lastly I wrote, I love you, I’m sorry,” you say, explaining the last content of the letter. But then, you realise he has gone quiet. His stillness unsettling. You glance up to him, “Rafe?” He’s not responding. You check his pulse but there is none. Panic sets in as you shake him, calling his name.

“Rafe”

“Rafe, wake up”

“Wake up!”

“Wake up!”

“Y/n”

“Y/n”

“Y/n, wake up”

You gasp, your heart is pounding like a drum. You’re sweating all over your body as reality crashes down. It was a nightmare.

“Hey..baby you okay?” You turn your head to your right and realise it’s Rafe. He’s okay, he’s alive and he’s sitting on the bed next to you. Relief floods through you like a tidal wave.

“Is it the nightmare again?” He asks. You nod, signalling him that he’s right.

“It’s okay baby I got you. Here, come back to sleep,” he says, gently pulling you into his arms. You smile and cuddle him, clinging to the illusion of safety his embrace provides. You close your eyes again trying to fall back to sleep till your alarm suddenly rings.

You wake up with a tear running down your cheek. You hit the snooze button and realise that was a dream and this time, it’s the true reality. You look to the other side of your bed, it’s empty. It always has been for quite a while now. The truth is, that night after Rafe collapsed, you called for an ambulance. On the way to the hospital, they try everything to make his heart beat again, but nothing works. It was too late. He had lost too many blood before that you weren’t aware of and that same night, Rafe had died in your arms.

It’s been 3 years since the tragic. You keep having the same dream almost every night. Part of you is grateful that you and Rafe had ended in good terms but another part of you knows that the truth is you’ll never get the chance to redeem yourself and be a better partner. There’s nothing remaining other than the memories that will haunt you forever.

Rafe, if you’re hearing this, I love you, I’m sorry.

Like and reblog if you want to kys after reading this😇☺️

[himluv]

Idk, man. Seems like a buckwild take to say that just because Lucanis can't heal with Neve the way he does with Rook makes him and Neve a bad pairing. Like, there's no one right person for anyone. One True Love™ isn't real and there are all kinds of relationships that work just fine. There's no one right way to deal with trauma. And love comes in so many shapes and sizes.

I don't think it's outside the realm of possibility that Neve and Lucanis help each other get better together. It won't look the same as either does with Rook, because, well, they aren't with Rook (???).

But I firmly believe that both of them would hold their partner to a higher standard, demand that they accept more love than they think they deserve, because they want better for their partners. And while that might not lead to Lucanis unraveling his trauma à la Mind Prison, it doesn't mean Neve couldn't help him find another route through.

(I also think it's a bit unkind to think a 35-36 year old man who has already dealt with his childhood trauma (re: he "doesn't resent Caterina anymore", implying he once did and he worked through his shit) wouldn't eventually work through the Ossuary and Spite on his own. It would just be slower and look different and that's OKAY! Romance is not a prerequisite for dealing with trauma.)

Also, and I will die on this hill, it is not "bad writing" to have Lucanis be unromanceable by a Rook who chose to save Minrathous. Lucanis views that choice, as logical as it may be, as a betrayal. You've betrayed Treviso, the Crows, and him. And, he's someone who REQUIRES a close emotional attachment to feel attraction (demisexual, hello???). So, yeah. You let his city and people die a slow terrible death to the blight, he isn't going to fall in love with you. He literally can't. It makes complete sense and I thought it was a BRILLIANT choice by the writers. If you save Minrathous, you get a totally different Lucanis and I think that's incredible.

Neve doesn't lock you out if you save Treviso because she is a much more rational and logical thinker than Lucanis. Lucanis is called "soft-hearted" and "sentimental" multiple times across the game and tie-in media, where Neve is known for her icy exterior, wit and cleverness. It makes complete sense.

I am begging people to stop calling elements they personally dislike "bad writing".

[ilikeicecoffee-blog]

GRRAAHH THE DILATED PUPILS, THE BLOOD, THE DAMAGED LOOK, SO GOOD🔥🔥

I know this is so random, but this quote popped up in my mind seeing this Maro💯 There's a line in Justice League Unlimited that Superman says regarding Batman always willing to fight their opponent no matter how powerful or unstoppable they are, and it works so well for Mario here, too😌🔥

"That man won't quit as long as he can still draw a breath!"

Super Mario is supposed to be this powerful figure to the Mushroom Kingdom, this beacon of hope with little to no weaknesses. With everything on his shoulders, he has to keep going.

Or else he'd let them all down.

[angelrissa]

Finally decided to finish writing part one to this prompt. Please ignore that I took 2 months to write like this

content warning! : descriptions of gore/injury, slight groping, no dialogue, Also i'm not particularly great with writing, its all just for fun.

wc: 648

Things just seemed too peaceful. Surely there should be more noise than the guttural moans of pain escaping your cracked lips. Yet, there was nothing, no sounds of the excessive nature surrounding you, no wildlife chirping with life, nothing, just the exhausted heaving of your chest as you desperately try to catch your breath, limping to find anyone that could possibly help you.

You can't recall how long it's been since you were separated from your team, but it was long enough to know they weren't searching any longer, but you doubt they searched in the first place, you were somebody people didn't mind losing, deadweight as they'd call it. While the fading sounds of your surroundings echoed in your mind, a sudden sharp pain snapped you back to reality. Blood gushed out of your leg, a deep red color that seemed to somehow look delectable to the raw hunger aching in your stomach. Thank goodness you saw the thick berry jam oozing from your body inviting your fingers to shove themselves into the jar and stuff the two digits down your desperate mouth. You let out a wicked scream of pain when two fingers greedily dug into your wound realizing you had further mutilated yourself, causing your feeble body to collapse to the ground. It's too bad you were oh so close to what looked like an isolated cabin standing solitary in the woods, only just a few feet away from your blurred vision.

Your senses were dulled, each breath more labored than the last, but somehow, the sight of the cabin ignited a flicker of hope within you. Clenching your jaw against the pain that radiated from your leg, you pulled yourself up with weak determination. The wound was ghastly. Hot blood pooled beneath you, staining the dry leaves and soil underneath like a gruesome work of art. But the cabin stood resolute, a solitary figure against the contamination of the forest, a chance that someone lived there.

You dragged yourself forward, each movement sending daggers of agony through your leg. You could barely focus, the world shifted in and out of clarity as you stumbled toward the door before collapsing on the dirty excuse of a front porch. The world twisted and warped around you like a reflection of your child self in a fun house mirror at the state fair. Gasping for air, each inhale felt like swallowing shards of glass that clawed at your throat. Shadows clouded your vision, thick and eerie, covering the world in a muted, dark hue. But something was wrong, completely, irrevocably wrong. One shadow seemed to stand out darker than the rest, it was the shadow oddly shaped like a man. A man so unsettling it was probably best you died here before he got his hands on you. He loomed over you, taking pleasure in your agony. Knowing nobody would ever find you out here, he's not even quite sure how you managed to get here, but oh is he thrilled you did.

His large hands quickly reach down to grab onto your body, calloused fingers roughly grazing over your breasts where your bulletproof vest previously clung to your skin, but now pathetically hung off your frame. You immediately recoil at his touch, wincing from the ache of your wounds. You may have been delirious but you just knew you weren't safe.

How sick of him to stare at you like a piece of meat while you desperately clung to life, praying you won't die like this. But he just couldn't help himself. How could he? You just weakly lay in his arms, so afraid, such a tragic girl. He needed to save you. He would be your savior whether you wanted him to be or not.

(I plan to make this a series if I have the time)

taglist - @ang3lc

[rita-repulsa-ke]

Agatha and Rio read thirst tweets

Finale to this and this

“Hiiii, Agatha.”

“Ugh. Remind me why I agreed to this.”

“I don’t know. Why did you?”

”They offered me a lot of money. I might also have been drunk. Hard to say, really.”

“Mm. It’s still nice to see you.”

“…Can we move these chairs farther apart? No? Too bad, that wasn’t a real question. Now can I get an advil and a bottle of water and we can get this over with?”

“…What? You want me to read this—she’s right there, though. It’s distracting. …Okay, okay, let’s see. I want Rio to pound me until archeologists can’t identify my skeleton. …Are you sure this is about sex at all?”

“Surely you know what hyperbole is, you used to date me.”

“It just seems like a lot. Fine, sure, I can obliterate your skeleton. We’re still not having sex, though.”

“Aw, saving yourself for me? That’s disgusting. My turn, then. I would let Agatha—Rio, stop growling. And put the knife away.”

“Ags, I want you to kill them.”

“Yeah, not doing that, that’s something I only do for people I like. I might be really mean to them, though.”

“…How mean?”

“Let me finish reading first. I would let Agatha Harkness spit in my open mouth. …Gross. Next.”

“Not mean enough.”

“Trust me, someone like that, being mean is only going to make them hornier.”

“…Hmm. I bet stabbing wouldn’t. What’s this one—I just want to watch Rio put Agatha over her knee and—“

“Okay, okay, that’s enough of that.”

“Shy, beloved? I remember you used like that sort of thi—“

“Moving on. Uh—I want to take Agatha out to a beautiful candlelit dinner and stare chastely at her from across the table. Finally, a legitimate freak! That’s incredibly messed up and I hope you find the help you need.”

“…You’re funny.”

“You know it.”

“And gorgeous and intelligent and frustrating and—“

“Hey, Rio, focus. …And stop getting closer.”

“I am very, very focused on what I want.”

“…You know what? I can’t do this. Not with her. Keep the money, I’m out.”

“Agatha, wai—ah, a spell. That was clever. …It was still nice to see her. I can’t believe you got her to agree to this in the first pla—wait, what??? What did you say? Say it again. …What do you mean, it was her idea??”

masterpost or click this link to go to a random post on this blog, which will probably be a fic of some kind

[idkplzhalp]

The Admin in TF2 comic 7 was so GLaDOS and Caroline coded. Her character has made me tear up multiple times, there's such complexity to her I'm so upset.

Anyways. I think it's Caro/GLaDOS coded because of keeping up this cold facade and then being the pettiest woman on the planet. GLaDOS' cut voice lines are so petty, I posted some earlier but like the way she tries to guilt Chell and makes stuff up... oh girl. Admin put up a big fake idea of what she was doing and then turns out she's trying to keep one single guy alive for an event she cannot even remember.

Pre-australium Helen was more Caroline in my mind, mainly in her appearance, but also the section about Zepheniah dying? The frame of Admins absolute apathy for life? She lost all her purpose now that he's dead and she feels like she didn't win.

^ Her appearance in these, like okay you look just like Caroline (similarish hair & nose shape).

^ The feelings that come from the panels of Admin are so strong, you can so easily read what state she's in. Caroline coded in my heart. The way the mansion is left uncared for while Admin sits depressed in bed was just. So emotional for me?

I don't think Caroline felt that way about Cave, the hatred Admin did for Zepheniah, as it was very implied they were besties at least for awhile. Though I feel she'd hold the grief that Admin did for Zepheniah in a different way. Admin is grieving because her purpose in life was lost, she has no one to focus revenge on anymore. Caroline lost her friend and was forced into a fate she didn't want, mistreated by employees, left angry and isolated forever. She lived to be the highest assistant of Aperture, working as one for 40 years prior. So in a sense, her purpose was lost as well. We don't hear anything from the Caroline CEO era so I'd like to think she took a step back as she awaited her fate. She probably was barely keeping things together from the stress (though not to undermine how good at her job she was, I just think she'd be depressed for at least some of her CEO time). That's more headcanon territory though, and I wish there was a way we could get more confirmation on how she acted then.

Both were fated to live basically forever and forgot the reasons why they feel the way they do.. GLaDOS didn't remember Caroline/her being a human while Admin forgot how her parents died/that Zepheniah likely killed them.

They are wasting their time forever. GLaDOS is testing and evolving science for NO ONE but herself. Forever. She's alone. Implied to feel lonely in the Lego Dimensions song + her VA thinks so too. Eventually she'd run out of materials and there's no people left to either help her or torture her. Admin admits herself that her plan was a waste of time and for a moment shes sad. Both characters are so focused on their goals, they were mistreated and became separated from humanity, there was no reason for either to be rational towards who they were hating. Such a big effort for something miniscule in the end!

While Admin initially didn't want to live, she got stuck in a cycle of trying to spite this guy forever and it was for nothing, she ruined people's lives in the process (Mainly Pauling, ohhh she was so betrayed, someone SAVE HER).

And both are voiced by Ellen McLain, nicest woman on the planet. Wow.

Really gives same character different universe, doesn't it.

[whatdidtheydotomygirljinx]

the problem is that it's so hard to really analyze anything about arcane, and draw any conclusions about the story, because of the way it was written and conceived in the first place.

to the people who're like "yeah season 2 was bad, but season 1 was a MASTERPIECE in story writing and PERFECT in every way", that's just not true. the cracks were already there in season 1. there's multiple things, especially overarching ones, that just don't add up, and several ways that the story progresses that seem like odd choices. the thing was that, to me, the rest of it was all so good... the small details, the contained scenes were so well done, so detailed, so touching, that i really believed that maybe those cracks were just hiccups after all, and it's not a big deal, and maybe they'll even make a lot more sense and all get tied up with a nice little bow in season 2 (ha)

to me, at this point, it seems obvious that the way season 1 came into being was that these three idiots (who should never be allowed to write anything ever again) wrote a script, that was so terrible that riot had to bring in help to fix it for them (cause they were that incapable) and then someone got handed their slop and told "save this as much as you can, but keep the main points the same", and save it THEY DID! but the overarching plot is still the original one. which is why there's this dissonance all across it.

season 1 often seems like it's trying to tell two different stories at once. the example that comes easiest to me is jinx's transformation from powder to jinx post time skip. to the people i know irl who watched it, me included, the difference between these two is jarring, to the point that it just doesn't seem realistic that powder would change that much. this is what most people's reaction to her transformation was. like, sure, she changed... but jinx is almost a completely different person. and we can sit here and analyze all we want, and say yeah, but look, in ep2 min37, powder laughs when an enforcer is hurt, so that shows that she is indeed attracted to violence even at this age, but like... first of all, im at this point fully convinced that these details were put in specifically for that, to attenuate the valley that is between powder's character and jinx's, and I also honestly feel embarrassed that i even have to do all of this at all.

other notable examples are whatever is going on between jinx and silco in their relationship. like, yeah, he was actually a good father to her... but actually, there's something weird going on between them... but actually, no... he was better than vander, but actually he was worse than vander and was actually the cause of everything bad in jinx's life..... and on, and on, because the literal story itself never actually makes up its mind on what it wants the relationship between these two characters to be. same as it never makes up its mind on whether powder was a cute, innocent kid who was just manipulated by silco, or if powder was born like that and was just looking for an opportunity to release her inner jinx. same way as it never makes up its mind on whether vi is a devoted sister, who would do anything to get powder back, as she herself says, or if she actually thinks this new enforcer chick she just met is kinda cooler, as her actual actions would indicate. does silco adopt jinx because he sees himself in her, or does he intend to use her as a weapon and then later on grows to actually care about her? there comes a point where "this is a complex story" just becomes an excuse for "we were actually working with three different ideas at once and we never really decided on which one we were gonna do and we kinda just prayed it would all work out somehow"

the one thing that arcane season 2 has on season 1 is that it doesn't suffer from any of these weird identity issues. it's bad and simplistic but it's bad and simplistic in its entirety and it doesn't ever seem interested in being anything else. the story has no continuity or congruence issues, except of course for the ghost of season 1 that haunts it, and especially haunts the writers, who so far have displayed nothing but dismay for the story that actually made this show so acclaimed, and have done all they could to bury it as much as possible in season 2.

now, personally, im a big death of the author truther. even more so in cases like these, where we're dealing with teams of people. power struggles happen in studios, and in writing rooms, and at every level of production. and these three people that have taken credit don't seem like the most emotionally (or intellectually) mature individuals.

so, to solve all these issues, just know that when im discussing or analyzing arcane, im going off the interpretation of the events that serves the story the most, and that leads to the most meaningful narrative and the one that is most worth telling. all of this weird lee and overton slop that snuck in im gonna be completely ignoring.

[jbk405]

For this playthrough of ME3 I was very active in changing my off-duty clothing depending on whatever situation I found myself in. It doesn't effect anything, but it was important to me that Shepard dress "appropriately".

Once I got the opportunity to change my clothing I first switched to the N7 hoodie, but almost immediately I switched back to the standard shipboard uniform ("Crewman's outfit"). Unlike when I was working with Cerberus in ME2 I don't have any moral opposition to the Systems Alliance or desire to separate myself from the crew of the Normandy, so I dressed in the same outfit as everybody else.

I swapped into my dress uniform when I went to the summit between the Turians, Salarians, and Krogran. I'm here representing the Systems Alliance and the Citadel Council, so I need to make the right impression. It shows I'm taking the role seriously, and also shows respect to the Heads of State that I am meeting with.

I kept the dress uniform until the genophage was cured and all of the dignitaries departed, and switched back to the crewman's outfit. But I made sure to switch back to the dress uniform for every interview that I had with Diana Allers. Again, to make the right impression in front of everybody who would see the interviews.

I deliberately didn't change into the dress uniform when the Quarian admirals came aboard. I stayed in the shipboard work outfit. It was a calculated insult to represent how furious I was at their war against the geth. I would help to save their lives, but I wanted my very presence to show how little respect I had for them.

Despite how much I love the N7 hoodie, I only put it on for the times when I invited people to my cabin for informal conversations. I wanted to look "professional" while out and about. I did, however, wear the hoodie to meet with Aria and retake Omega. Since she's a shady criminal figure, the Systems Alliance should not be officially seen working to restore her to power.

I wore the Sexy Dress for the Citadel party, because it's a party and I want to look nice.

Then I switched to the dress uniform for the attack on Cerberus and the final mission to Earth. Because now we're the spearhead of the united galaxy, and that means we show up looking our best in our dress blues.

Does any of this matter? No. None of these give any buffs or stats, and they don't get any comments or unique dialogue in different situations. But it helps create a character for Commander Shepard.

[luciferanalyzestar]

unpopular opinion: I am glad that zoophobia got abandoned cause as much as it's beautiful vivziepop would ruined it just like what she did with HH and HB,I rather someone else make something similar to it (not 100% copy of it just something similar) and avoiding all viv's mistakes since she's too coward to admit that her writing is shit,maybe if she listened for once her writing would have been improved long time ago

This ask sent me down a rabbit hole I was not ready for.

I never read Zoophobia because I did not hear of Viv until 2019. I was 11 when it released, and I was too busy obsessing over Sonic. From what people who have been following Viv and her history for that long, it was a warning sign of her writing abilities and the lack of variety in her character designs.

The main premise is toss aside for a different premise with no build up: I mean just look like the descriptions of the finished and scrapped Books. How do we go from "woman with a fear of animals becomes a guidance counselor at an academy for anthropomorphic animals" or "mythology"???? How does get from furry hijinks to mythology??? That is a huge jump. Imagine if the Owl House did that? Season 1 stays the same but in season two, Luz goes to a futuristic sci-fi setting like Star Wars or something.

Hazbin was at first: The Princess of Hell opens up a hotel to help Sinners go to Heaven instead of being murked every year.

Hazbin from episode 1 to 8 has a huge in its premise too. No one was asking for a war with Heaven at the end of the season. The whole season was just Charlie pitching the hotel which she already did in the pilot, why are we wasting time of watching her pitch it again??? Season 1 could have focused on the hotel not Heaven, that is should have been saved for season 2.

Helluva was at first: A lower-class imp opens up an assassin business with his fellow imps and his ab going to Earth to kill humans and fucking up shit in the progress. There is a little bit of failed edge in the show too, this is not my little pony! This is a show for adults who grown up Invader Zim and live breath Hot Topic. Now Helluva is just, 2000s core Yaoi that used to be posted on fanfiction.net.

The main female character is sidelined: Cameron was gone by Book 2 (at least from what the wiki states) and was not even featured in the Back Luck Jack short. There are no sources for this, but it is claimed on Cameron's page that Viv was planning on giving her multiple love interests. Why does she always bound female characters to romantic relationships? Also, German chromosomes????? 💀

There are too many characters: Some characters' wikis listed their extended family, their allies, and enemies. I did not click on every character listed but the ones I did were minor background characters who just exist. Why does Kestral and Jackie's mother have a design if she does nothing for the plot? My OCS have parents of course but I am not going design all of their parents, only the ones who are a part of the plot.

The character designs all have the same vibe: Of course, they are all skinny, some are skinny as a broomstick or slim thick.

I found characters with top hots, ashy skin, characters with tannish skin tone with straight hair, the bow ties and pin stripes combo or pin stripe shirt and shorts combo for Mirage. Some characters do not have pronounce feet like they have little numbs like Vaggie and Niffty.

None of the characters who are human or transform into humans have ears! Where are their ears??? Viv cannot draw ears to save her life lmao. The only humans I found with ears was Cameron and this guy. This design "quirk" is still on full blown display in the Hellaverse.

I notice that a lot of characters have similar lore or quirks to the Hellaverse cast:

Cameron has a decease mother = Blitz and Moxxie also have a decease mother.

Addison was originally had a twin sister who was scrapped = Angel and Blitz both have twin sisters.

Camilla (Viv must really like that name) is a pole dancer = Angel is a sex worker is a striper. Also, Camila, who was 21 was supposed to have a crush on the 17 years old Addison.

JayJay has a gold tooth = Angel and Val have a gold tooth.

There are probably more examples, these are the ones that popped out.

There is a pack of wolf lead by the character Queen which is similar to Verosika's crew but there is the twist: Queen is just Kesha. Why was Viv so obsessed with making Kesha into a furry? Why is her name close to Kesha's full name? I have characters based off of celebrities from media I like but I did not name them straight up after that person.

Viv should buy Kesha a fursuit at this point. /j

There is this dude who makes a similar expression to Lucifer. I am losing my goddamn mind.

This reminds how she designed Smoke from Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue looks in her part of the reanimated project.

I wish someone would make a deep drive video about Zoophobia and have a section comparing it to the Hellaverse. Viv published Zoophobia back in 2012 when was around 19 years old. She is now in 32, I do not know about the writing. How she designs characters still has not changed, she is DEEP into that comfort zone.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for taking a teenager from his planet without asking?

I (???F) am from a planet that had been in grave danger for a long time. It all started when my daughter was little. Strange events kept happening around her, and our planet’s top scientists found out she had an excessive amount of negative probability ions surrounding her that caused these events. The ions eventually grew even stronger and formed a sphere around her, causing drastic and horrific events all over the planet and threatening to destroy everything we ever knew.

So my crew and I enlisted the help of a kid (13M) from Earth who we found also had experience with negative probability ions. We determined that he was the only one in the universe that could save us, and while he and his friends did, we didn’t actually ask for his help at first. We just kind of… yanked him off his planet. It did not occur to us until later to actually ask first.

He told us early on that it was rude to do such a thing, but my people and I were in a tough position. Before he came along to save us, I didn’t even know my daughter was still alive! Everything’s resolved now, but I thought I’d ask for input.

[flo-zoinks]

do you think Dutch every truly cared about Arthur, John, oe any of the gang members? Or he only cared about how useful they were to him? How loyal they were to him?

I think he cared genuinely to an extent, especially when it came to Arthur, he just ultimately cared about himself more and his own ego. Just my take tho, it's a bit more complex than that but I really don't know how to word it :")

Good take!! Thanks for asking me ♡

In short (if possible), I think Dutch cared, but other factors were a lot more dominating than that love.

To Dutch, I believe his biggest goal in life was his image. Dutch's idea of a perfect person was someone who took in and protected the rejected and weak around him, who didn't follow and submit to the society around him, who longed for freedom and spoke wise words about not conforming. Whilst this idea of a perfect person might not be what everyone else thinks at all, it's what he does. Arthur and John fell into that image - the people someone perfect would protect and care for, and teach his own ways. So Dutch believed he cared for them, being that perfect person, and acted as someone who would. That's why I think he did things that looked like caring, (what he believed was), but when it came to things that werent obvious, or took too much work he deemed necessary, he allowed other factors to dominate that caring feature of a person to mentally ignore them whilst still feeling good about himself.

That's why I think he was so easily able not to save Arthur, his son, in chapter 6. A Father, or a Mother who truly loves their child as they should wouldn't give up that love so easily, as Dutch did. No matter the current issues, they would save their child, at the risk of their own life easily. Dutch allowed that judgement and voices to enter his head so quickly, and used it to allow himself to abandon his child, telling himself it fit the criteria of a perfect person as "they deserved that." It was easier to do that, then to have to make a decision that could possibly harm his own idea of himself.

Take for instance, Dutch's jailbreaks. If Arthur goes to jail for a prolonged time, theres a good chance Dutch will break him out in the game. However when Arthur gets kidnapped by the O'Driscolls, I dont think Dutch went to look for him past the jails and saloons. A caring person would search where he thought would fit, like those jails and saloons. Someone who loved further and actually cared like a Father would search and put in countless hours to retrieve their loved one, but once he'd finished feeling like a good person didn't care to look further.

So generally because I'm so close to going off topic lmfao, I think his belief that he cared manifested into a little actual care, however wasn't as big as he pretended. He saw them as assets, as parts that existed to him to help him feel good about himself, as tools. The people around him, Reverend, Molly and so on exist to stroke his ego and tell him he's a saviour, he's so smart and perfect. But when Arthur and John begin to openly doubt and judge him whilst Micah doesn't, he sees it easier to believe Micah's words and follows the route that reminds him hes perfect, meaning he doesnt need to care for Arthur and so on to feel good about himself. Their purpose doesn't work anymore, their used up and broken, so that care disappears.

That's also how I view the American Venom scene, when Dutch shoots Micah. At that point, Dutch sees the full maliciousness and "evil" in Micah's words, and realises his mind will never be able to twist things and his own views to justify their actions anymore. So to still feel well about himself, he shoots Micah. Besides, 'that's what a good person would do, right?' He still doesn't need John, still sees him as someone who will damage his self-image, so therefore not worth his attention and a traitor to him, but is perhaps a little less hostile to him. He's reminded a good person should still care for him, and Arthur, so treats it as his final act of 'love' he can perform. His final moment of 'caring'.

Am I yapping any sense ? Not really. Am I tired? Ya! But this is just my personal view! I agree with u fo sho so thanks for the ask!! I'm so grateful I love these so much. I'd also love to see other opinions or views on this❤❤🌟

[mymoodwriting]

6k, ANGST, angel!Felix, fallen angel, mentions of death, mentions of angelic weapons, fatal injuries, domestic life, star-crossed lovers, mystery illness, character death, tragic ending, YOU WILL CRY (@starillusion13)

I think about you saving me every night…

Felix took in a deep breath as he regained consciousness, feeling the cold ground beneath him as he found himself at the center of a crater. His body ached, but that was the least of his worries. He rolled over and got onto his hands and knees, his fingers digging into the dirt. It was dark out, and he was surrounded by trees under a moonless night, but at least there was the small glow of the stars. He sat on his legs after steading his breath, staring up at the sky. A moment ago he had been up there, and now he was down on Earth. It wasn’t his first time here, but his circumstances were unique. Felix closed his eyes and took a shaky breath, wondering what to do as he thought back to how he wound up a fallen.

✷

As an angel Felix lived a rather extraordinary life. The stories about them on Earth could be far-fetched, but some things were accurate. He certainly had wings, and was one of Heaven’s soldiers. His task specifically would bring him down to Earth every now and then as he was a hunter. Demonic creatures would cause all kinds of chaos in the human world, disrupting the natural order of things. So to maintain balance those demons needed to be cleansed. Although there was a caveat. As a divine being angels couldn’t just interfere with human lives carelessly. The demons in question needed to be messing with innocent lives before they were allowed to step in. Because of such things, Felix found himself at a gruesome scene more times than he’d like to admit.

Some demons did walk among humans, but as long as they weren’t messing with innocent people at their own wim, they were left alone. Of course humans were also capable of summoning demons for their own gain, and nothing could be done about that either. They had free will and were left to do as they pleased with their lives. If that involved making a deal with a demon for their own soul, so be it. In a situation like that an angel could not interfere, only watch and see what happened. It wasn’t until innocent blood was spilled that they could draw their blades. On this occasion Felix and his team came to a cabin in the woods. He already knew there were casualties.

Their work entailed them being swift and silent, getting their job done without being noticed and returning home. Once the demon in question had been dealt with they did one last sweep of the area. As Felix was walking around he heard a woman cry for help. Out of curiosity he followed the voice, finding a woman crying while holding another in her arms. She screamed out for someone to save her lover, that it should have been her instead. Felix knew the circumstances here. Multiple people had been brought to this location as a sacrifice, and lives had been lost before they showed up. The woman in the arms of her lover was still breathing, but faintly, suffering from multiple lacerations. Her fate dictated she would not live. After a moment of watching Felix intended to leave, only to be caught peeking.

“Please! Please, help her! Please! She can’t die!”

The woman stared into his eyes through her tear filled vision, crying and begging. What he was supposed to do in this situation was walk away, but he couldn’t find it in his heart to do that. So he made his way towards the two, kneeling before them. His hand gently caressed the face of the injured woman before he placed it atop her head. A faint golden glow emanated from his palm. The wounds began to close and the woman took in a deep breath opening her eyes. The sounds of agony were quickly replaced by disbelief and joy.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Felix knew what he had done was wrong. He was messing with the balance of things, but he had seen too much death that he could no longer stand by and do nothing. In the blink of an eye he was gone, gathering with his team at the rendezvous and then returning home. His actions lingered in his mind a bit. He could think he had gotten away with his little stunt for the moment, but the truth would always surface. In this case he didn’t have to wait long. As soon as he was back in Heaven he was met with a slap across the face. One strong enough to knock him down to his hands and knees. He bit his lip, not wanting to retaliate or seem incapable of taking a hit. He took a second to compose himself before looking up at his team leader.

“We do not interfere with human lives!”

“Her injuries weren’t that severe. If she had been treated she would have survived.”

“If that human was to live, another human would be the one to save them, not an angel. You cannot interfere with fate!”

“I didn’t, I just helped her a bit.”

“That’s all it takes.”

“Then I’ll accept my punishment accordingly…”

“Will you now? Do you even understand what you’ve done?”

“The humans believe us to be healers and saviors, I can’t live up to that?”

“You follow orders and maintain balance, nothing else. If you cannot do that, then you are not fit to be an angel.”

“What?”

Felix was suddenly pulled up to his feet by his teammates, held up as his leader summoned a dagger. Before he could truly process the situation the blade was buried in his chest.

“If you care so much about the humans, then go live in their world, and be one of them.”

✷

Felix inhaled sharply as he felt the sting of his wound, gripping his chest tightly. The blood had mostly dried up, but a bit of it was still fresh. He needed to treat it before it got worse. He carefully got up on his feet, stumbling a bit before he got his footing, although that didn’t last long. Felix collapsed back onto the ground, landing on his stomach. After a moment he got onto his hands and knees, ultimately crawling out of the crater. Once he was out he sat by the edge, looking back up at the sky for a bit before checking on his wings. They were still present, but he could see they were fading away. He had been banished, cast out, meaning he was no longer an angel, and was slowly losing the last of his power.

The truth was a banished angel could not survive on Earth unless they became a fallen. They had to succumb to corruption in order to live, or else they’d slowly wither away. The problem there was that a fallen was created when a banished angel killed a human. Only by taking the life of an innocent person could Felix continue living. He’d never do that, so as he sat alone in the middle of nowhere he accepted his fate. It was only natural that this would be his end. For a very long time Felix had been different from the other angels. They always followed the rules and did as they were told. Angels were meant to be Heaven’s soldiers, they weren’t there to serve humanity, but unlike the others, Felix did like humans.

He found himself fascinated by their fragility and will, seeing all they accomplish in their short lives. This care for humans was seen as a weakness, so Felix kept it to himself, but he always knew it would get him in trouble one day. That time was now. It seemed his fellow angels decided to cast him out so he could live out the remainder of his days living as a human, among the humans he cared so much for. As awful as it was to be kicked out of the only place Felix has ever called home, he would accept his fate. Felix sighed and laid down on the cold dirt ground below. He was out in the middle of nowhere. There wasn’t a kind angel who would come to save him, so it was likely he would not see the sun rise. Felix took in a breath of fresh air, closing his eyes and not fighting. He didn’t mind going quietly into the void.

✷

The sounds of birds chirping was very unexpected. Felix curiously peeked one eye open, finding his surroundings to be completely different. He was no longer lying in the dark surrounded by trees under the starlight, but instead was on a stranger’s bed, bathed in the morning sunlight. As he sat up, his eyes adjusting, he found himself to be clean, and his wound tended to and bandaged. The clothes he wore were unfamiliar, and then he was startled by the sound of his stomach growling. That was a first for him. He took in the rest of his surroundings, seeming to find himself in someone’s bedroom.

Felix carefully pulled back the blanket and got out of bed, wincing a bit from his wound. He placed a hand on his chest and walked towards the door. It seemed he opened the wrong one as he found a bathroom on the other side, so he went to the other one. Now he stepped out into a hall, hearing some sounds and deciding to follow it. As he made it to the end of the small passage he came into a bigger area, seeing what he believed to be a small living room area, and an open kitchen. There he seemed to find answers. A woman was in the kitchen, preparing something on the stove with her back to him.

“Excuse me…”

“Oh! You’re awake! Why are you up!? You should be resting.”

The woman in question lowered the flame on the stove, rushing over to him and starting to guide him back the way he came. Although Felix had questions.

“I’m alright, but, uh, where am I?”

“You’re not alright. You were attacked. Come on, back to bed, I can answer your questions there.”

Felix didn’t get much of a say here, and ultimately wound up back in the bed he had woken up in. The woman tucked him back in, checking his temperature.

“Good, no fever, how are you feeling?”

“Fine… besides some minor aches, but you haven’t answered my question, where am I?”

“Ah, right, sorry. It must be weird waking up in a random person’s house. My bad, uh, well, my name is y/n, you’re in my home. I found you out in the woods on my way home last night and saw your injuries, so I brought you here. I treated your wounds and gave you a bath. I swear I was respectful and didn’t see anything as I cleaned you and dressed you.”

“I see… well, thank you… you’re very kind…”

“No problem. I couldn’t just leave you out there… uh… may I ask your name?”

“Yes, yes, of course, I’m Felix.”

“It’s nice to meet you, although I suppose the circumstances could be better. I’ll be done with your breakfast in a few minutes, so just stay here, please.”

Felix was touched by your soft smile and shy demeanor. He didn’t expect to ever wake again, but he didn’t mind being in your presence at all. While he waited for you he found himself staring out the window that you had left open for him. He could see endless rows of trees, birds and other creatures roaming around. It seemed he was still out in the woods. For a moment he wondered how far he was from where he landed. Felix stared down at his hands. He could no longer feel his angelic powers, and he could sense his wings were gone. He was human, and he was dying. He had no idea how long he would live, but he didn’t mind spending them here.

“I made porridge.”

“It smells delicious.”

You came into the room with a tray for eating in bed, setting it up for Felix. You grabbed one of the bowls sitting down on the edge of the bed, eagerly waiting for Felix to take a bite. He thanked you for the food and then grabbed the bowl, taking a small bite. He has eaten human food before, but this was different. The first bite was, for lack of a better word, divine. It was so delicious it didn’t compare to anything else he had ever tried before. His eyes lit up and he smiled brightly.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

The two of you ate in relative silence, just sharing a meal together. Although as he finished up he had more questions.

“If I may, how exactly did you find me? I was in the middle of nowhere.”

“I kinda live in the middle of nowhere too. I just… saw something odd last night and stumbled upon you. I’m glad I did.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Alright. I’m gonna let you rest up and heal. I’ll open the window for you too so you can get some fresh air. If you need anything, just yell for me.”

“Okay, thank you. Really.”

“Sleep well.”

It was rather strange for Felix to lay back with the intention of sleeping. He never needed to do so as an angel. Still, in this moment sleep was calling to him, so he closed his eyes, intending to wake up again later. Felix wasn’t really sure he was gonna get any better, but to his own surprise, he was. When you came to change his bandage later, he could see that the wound wasn’t as severe. Perhaps the last of his angelic power had healed him a bit. A few days later he was on his feet and moving around the house and getting to know you.

“Why do you live out here by yourself?”

“I like the peace and quiet. Besides, I need the space for my work.”

“Apologies, I’ve been here for so long now but I never even asked what you did with your time.”

“It’s okay, you were focused on healing. I’m a gardener. I grow some flowers and berries in my greenhouses in the back. I sell them in the town market and even take some commissions to design special bouquets for people. I’ll show you.”

You took Felix into your backyard, showing him the four greenhouses you had. He found it quite beautiful, seeing all the flowers you grew, especially the roses. You noticed his intrigue and grabbed your flower clippers, giving him a red rose. When you showed him the berries you let him pick some to eat. You weren’t used to having company, but you liked his presence.

“I don’t have much when it comes to clothes, but I did buy you somethings in the market.”

“This is more than enough, I appreciate it.”

Once Felix was in a better condition he joined you as you went about your day. He’d help you tend to your flowers and berries, watering the plants and learning how to maintain them. He didn’t know how to cook, but you had no problem showing him the basics. He seemed so childish at times, and it always brought a smile to your face.

“Y/n…”

“Hm?”

“How come… you haven’t asked me questions…?”

“What do you mean?”

“Besides my name, you haven’t asked me about my injury or how-”

“It’s okay. You don’t need to explain yourself or anything. I just wanted to help. You haven’t done anything bad thus far, so you’re a good person. You don’t need to tell me anything you don’t want to, and I won’t pry for an explanation. Just take things slow, one day at a time.”

Even if Felix would want to tell you the truth, there was no point to it. For the time being he felt fine, but he knew that wouldn’t last. Any day now he could simply collapse, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to burden you with his sudden departure. Now that he was more or less in a better state his plan was to leave, but he couldn’t really bring himself to do it. Every day he spent with you was so wonderful. Such a beautiful human living a happy and fulfilling life, it warmed his heart. He didn’t want to do anything to hurt you, but leaving didn’t really seem to be a path he could take. It took him a while to realize the soft gazes and content smiles, there wasn’t just happiness in your eyes, but something more. He felt it too. He had been feeling it for a while, but he did not know it was love until now.

At some point he did mention leaving, in passing, and you quietly, and nervously, let him know that he did not need to leave anytime soon. He’d take you up on that offer, deciding to stay and see where things led. From there your relationship changed, the two of you growing closer. Felix learned your craft, working alongside you and creating such wonderful things. He saw the world in a new light. No matter how many centuries he spent watching over humans, he knew nothing at all. 

Only now that he walked among them, as one of them, could he really know what it was like to be human. Felix was starting to believe the legends of banished angels were all false. Perhaps those that had been cast out before him chose death or corruption instead of living as a human. He could understand that, for they probably didn’t have a human to show them the best of the world. He was lucky, although he would soon find himself facing the tragedies that humanity carried. One morning he woke first, holding you in his arms. He pressed a soft kiss to your head, moving down to your lips only to see blood. 

Panic immediately overtook him, and he shook you awake. You seemed groggy, but you were alive, and that’s what mattered. He checked you over, and you appeared to be okay, but that didn’t explain the blood. A while later you felt better, and didn’t seem to know what was going on either. Felix thought it was just some freak incident, he hoped that was the case, but it wasn’t. A few days later while tending to the garden together you had a coughing fit that ended with blood in your hand. He ushered you back into the house despite you insisting you were alright.

“Y/n, you need to see a doctor.”

“I’m fine… really…”

“I may not know much, but this can’t be normal, or good.”

“It’ll pass…”

“Please, let us get you some medical assistance.”

You did as Felix asked, going into town to see a doctor. Although all the tests came back negative. They weren’t sure what was wrong with you, and recommended going to the city to one of the bigger hospitals to get a diagnosis. Felix was immediately on board, but you were a bit weary of the whole thing, which he could not understand.

“Why don’t you want to go to the hospital?” Felix questioned. “You could be dying. We need to get you treated.”

“I… I know… but…”

“But what? Y/n, please.”

“You don’t just start coughing up blood… and get better… I know something is wrong, but I feel fine. If we go to the hospital, we could end up there for days and… my work…”

“I can take care of it.”

“And I don’t want to lose time with you.”

“Y/n…”

Felix wished for nothing more to have his angelic powers back in this moment, so he could heal you, fate be damned. Yet he stood before you as a human being, unable to do anything to help you. He wasn’t sure what to do with himself here. If anything, he was the one who was supposed to die between you. This felt like a cruel twist of fate.

“Can we just… drop the conversation for now.”

“Fine, but we’ll come back to it.”

“I know. Now, I need to get a bouquet ready for a client.”

“I’ll be with you shortly.”

Felix didn’t know what to do here, how to convince you that going to the hospital was the best option. He could only reflect and see his own faults. He had nothing to offer you. All this time you had been the one taking care of him. You gave him a home, food, care, love, and he was failing to do the same in some areas. He needed to figure out some way to convince you, but for now he would be your support and care for you as best he could. Maybe this was just some fluke, and you’d be alright in the end, but for now he’d just focus on the present.

“Felix, we need to talk.”

As soon as Felix stepped out to the backyard a familiar face approached him. Fear overtook him, and he immediately looked towards the green house you would be in. His actions were noticed, and the others merely put their hands up.

“I’m not here to hurt you, or her… just talk.”

Next thing Felix knew you stepped out of the green house, and he quickly rushed over to your side, shielding you from the intruder. You were confused by Felix’s actions, then noticed the stranger in your yard.

“Felix-”

“It’s gonna be okay.”

“What’s going on…”

“I’m only here to speak with Felix.” The other spoke. “I mean no harm. I’ve come alone.”

“How did you find me, Mikael…”

“Do you truly think it would be difficult? You’re not really hiding.”

“What do you want!?”

“May we speak, privately that is.”

“Felix… I don’t like this…”

“Everything’s gonna be just fine.” Felix assured. “Just stay here… I’ll deal with this.”

“Felix-”

“Trust me, please.”

“Okay…”

You went back into the green house to continue your work. Felix went with Mikael to the front of the house, walking down the dirt road, putting some distance between them and the house. Felix was a bit nervous. After all this time an archangel has shown up before him.

“Are you here to kill me? I’m not a fallen.”

“I meant it when I said I mean you no harm, Felix.” Mikael explained. “I’m here to bring you home.”

“What? That’s not possible, I was banished and that-”

“No, you weren’t.”

“Huh?”

“Your superior injured you with an angelic weapon, draining you of your power. When you were unconscious they sealed away your angelic essence, thus making you human. They merely threw you from the Heavens, the Heavens themselves did not banish you, which is why you are still alive despite everything. Well, technically it’s because of that human that you are still alive.”

“I don’t understand…”

“What you did on your last hunt was wrong, and your superior took it upon themselves to punish you for it, which is not the Heavens way. Your crimes should have been brought to the court, and a decision would be made there.”

“So you want to take me back to be sentenced…”

“Not quite. The actions of your superior were called into question, and are currently being investigated. Your situation has already been given a resolution.”

“Which is…”

“Despite what you did, you didn’t actually interfere with that woman’s fate. If you had walked away, as your task dictates, the woman’s lover would have done everything to save her, doing just enough to keep her alive until help arrived. She was not fated to die that day. Therefore your crimes were not as severe as your superior believed them to be, which is why your case should have been brought to the court in the first place. Considering what was done to you, the court has decided you have served your sentence down here on Earth, and should now return.”

“That’s it?”

“Yes. Your full angelic powers will be restored, although you will be removed from your post as a hunter.”

“I see…”

“I understand you’ve made connections while on Earth, but this is not where you belong. Without meaning to, you have changed the fate of the woman you’ve been with. You will not be punished for that, but you must return to Heaven.”

“I don’t have a choice, do I?”

“No. The alternative would truly be banishment, and you will die if you don’t become a fallen. This should have never happened to you.”

“I know… y/n… she’s ill…”

“We cannot heal her.”

“Of course… can I at least say goodbye?”

“You may.”

Felix returned to the cabin by himself, Mikael telling him that he would wait for him down the road. As he made his way back he thought about what to say, or better yet how to say it. By now he had more or less accepted his life as a human, and let go of his angelic beginnings. There was no reason to ever tell the truth, but now he had to, it was only right, even if it was part of his goodbye. Felix found you exactly where he left you, tending to your flowers in one of the greenhouses. He knocked, just to give you a heads up, before stepping inside.

“Y/n…”

“You’re going home, aren’t you?”

“What? I-”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain, it’s only right for an angel to return to Heaven…”

“An angel? Wait, you knew? This whole time?”

“Of course… the night I found you… I was driving home when I saw a streak of light in the sky. I thought it was a meteor yet I was intrigued to see for myself. I made my way to the crash site and there I found a beautiful creature with wings, injured and on the verge of death. I was never much of a believer but I couldn’t deny the angel before me. I couldn’t let you die, so I brought you home and tended to your wounds. Of course once you were better you didn’t say anything about what happened to you, or who you were, so I wasn’t going to ask. It didn’t seem to matter since you had no intentions to leave, but… a part of me always knew you’d go back, you had to, who was I to keep an angel by my side.”

“That’s why… I did always think it was strange you never questioned me about my life before you… although at the same time I was grateful.”

“I doubt I could truly understand your life if you did tell me.” You chuckled lightly. “You can’t stay… right?”

“I’m afraid not… I am very grateful for all you’ve done for me, but I must ask a favor.”

“Anything.”

“Go to the hospital, get examined. You know it’s the right thing to do.”

“I suppose it is… will I ever see you again?”

“I doubt it.”

“Hm… a girl can hope.”

You picked a rose from your plants, going over to Felix and placing it in his hair. You shared a smile with him before you leaned in and pressed your lips against his. A soft and gentle farewell.

“Goodbye, Felix, my angel.”

“Goodbye, y/n.”

The two of you stayed together for a moment before you left. All he could do was watch you walk away, disappearing from his life forever. He stayed in the greenhouse for a moment, trying to steady his emotions. Then he went back out, going to find Mikael, staring back at the cabin once more, wanting to remember it all, knowing he’d likely never return, not in your lifetime, nor his.

✷

Upon returning to Heaven Felix felt a bit out of place. It really hadn’t been that long since he left, but things had changed, he had changed. This place didn’t feel like it used to, but it was where he belonged. He was escorted to the court, still needing to be sentenced even if his punishment was served. What mattered now was his reassignment. He didn’t get a say in the matter, and was ultimately placed with the reception department. His power was restored and then he was on his way. Nobody dwelled on what happened to him for long, and now it was like nothing had happened.

The new job wasn’t difficult, if anything it was a bit mundane, but he’d surely get used to it. Instead of training and going down to Earth he now dealt with paperwork behind a desk. New souls came into Heaven everyday, and he’d get a handful of names to look over, putting together their profiles. Once he really settled into the role he found where the daily list was. Everyday he would check, browsing through the hundreds of thousands of names that came through, looking for yours. He thought it was fine, no one ever questioned him, but he did try to be subtle about it until he was called out.

“Felix.”

“Huh!? I wasn’t doing anything!”

“Relax, you’re not in trouble.”

“Oh… okay…”

“I gotta ask though, why do you check the daily list every day?”

“Uh… well… I’m just looking for someone…”

“Do you know a human?”

“Yeah, I do… it’s a long story but last time I heard from them they were sick… they were gonna get medical help but still… I would like to see them again when their time comes…”

“Ah, well you could have asked.”

“What?”

“Come on. Every human’s fate is already decided, I can look up their name in the database for you, save you the trouble of checking every day.”

“You can do that, seriously?”

“It’s no trouble.”

Felix followed the other to their desk. They were one of his superiors, and he never really thought he could ask such a thing. Of course it wouldn’t be easy given that all he had was your first name, never getting your last name. At least he knew where you lived, so that helped narrow down the list. Soon enough he was staring at your picture, a smile adorning his lips. That is until he began to read your profile.

“Status… lost? What does that mean? Shouldn’t it say alive or something?”

“Oh… I’m so sorry, Felix…”

“What does that mean!?”

“Lost… it means their soul has been damaged… they can’t ascend to Heaven… or go to Hell or even travel to Purgatory… they’re just lost, what remains of them is likely to wander the Earth for eternity… I’m sorry…”

“No, no, how is that possible!? It can’t be! How do we fix this?”

“We can’t. Humans do whatever they want with their lives, if they damage their soul along the way, or get caught in the crossfire of someone else, that is their fate. You know we can’t change that.”

“This doesn’t make sense! She’d never do anything to damage her soul. Do you know what happened?”

“No. Records for a lost soul require a higher clearance.”

“What!?”

“I’m sorry…”

Felix couldn’t believe what he was hearing, but it was clear he wasn’t going to get answers here. He knew where he needed to go, and no one was going to stop him. Without saying more he stormed out of the office, going off to find the person with answers. It wasn’t exactly easy, but he knew where to look. 

“Mikael!”

“Felix, what are you-”

“What happened to y/n!”

“Who?”

“The human that took care of me!”

“Ah, wait, are you telling me you didn’t know?”

“Know what!?”

“That they healed you…”

“She tended to my wounds like a normal person! How did her soul get damaged!?”

“That’s how she healed you.”

“What!?”

“Felix, you were wounded with an angelic weapon and drained of power, you fell to Earth as a human. Your injuries were fatal. There was nothing that human could do for you, except use their own soul to heal you. Even with your angelic essence locked away, you could take their soul.”

“No… no… I can’t be the reason… I didn’t know… I… I…”

“Felix-”

“I didn’t do this to her! I didn’t…”

“Felix, they knew.”

“Huh?”

“When they found you and took you in, they could see you weren’t going to make it. Yet a golden mist appeared that seemed to help you, so they gave what they could. At the time they didn’t know what they did, but as long as you lived, they didn’t mind.”

“She… she didn’t know…”

“In the end they did.”

“No, no, that’s not true. She-”

“I approached them before you that day, I spoke with them about what happened and told them about what they had done. They had no problem accepting the fact they had given you part of their soul.”

“I… I changed their fate…”

“They changed it willingly, it’s why you weren’t punished. It was their choice in the end.”

“I didn’t mean to… I didn’t know… she was sick because of me… how do we fix this, Mikael, please…”

“You can’t heal a soul, Felix.”

“No, no, that’s unfair! She did a good thing, she shouldn’t suffer because of it!”

“Felix, calm down. They made the choice, there’s nothing we can do.”

“Liar! This would have never happened if you angels weren’t so strict and stuck up about messing with fate! If I hadn’t been wrongfully thrown out this would have never happened to her! I… I never would have destroyed her life…”

“What’s done is done, you have to let go.”

“No… no, this is all your fault! I won’t stand by and just let this happen.”

“There is nothing you can do. You can’t save a lost soul.”

“Watch me!”

“Felix, if you go against Heaven then-”

“Banish me! Cast me out! I won’t remain in such a place that harms the humans we are supposed to protect! All you angels ever do is watch and watch, letting them suffer instead of helping! I won’t be part of this anymore!”

Felix walked away, drowning out the sounds of protest, ignoring and fighting back when Mikael tried to stop him. His mind was made up. Heaven wasn’t his home anymore, it hadn’t been for a long time. When he left this time it was different. He felt this pain in his chest, he felt like he was dying once more, but he pushed that to the side, having somewhere to go. 

✷

This time, when he landed on Earth, it was a better landing. He stumbled to stand, but it was the least of his worries. He made his way back to your cabin, only to find it empty. Everything was gone, including your plants. The sign out front said for sale, and he thought perhaps you had moved, going off to the city to get treatment, but something deep down told him that wasn’t the case. Your illness wasn’t something anyone could heal. As he stood outside he began walking on his own, going into the woods in what seemed to be a random direction, but then he saw it. There was a wilting rose by some rocks.

“Y/n…”

He didn’t need any indicators to know what this was. He fell to his knees, feeling his heart sink into an endless void. The silent tears sliding down his face. He should have known this would be how he found you again.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t know… I never would have left you…” Felix cried. “You never should have done that… I wasn’t worth it… returning to Heaven wasn’t worth losing you… I’m so sorry…”

Felix let the tears flow, weeping before your grave, letting his human emotions consume him. He could feel his power leaving him, knowing his own time on Earth was limited.

“You should have told me… all I ever wanted was to be yours… I won’t leave you again…”

Felix laid down next to you, using the last of his power to make the flower bloom, another one growing alongside it. Angels didn’t have souls either, but his essence would surely roam the Earth for eternity with you. That’s all he wanted.

[atwas-gaming]

#I also think he HAS had clear character progressions is many places#I have 2 favourite examples to pull from#1 - his ability to work with other people#in the classics he didn't work well with other people#but then he slowly began to make friends#and he slowly began to let them work with him#starting with his lil bro Tails#and that continued until Superstars where he let Tails Knuckles and Amy help him out#and then this arc continued until Sa1 and sa2 where he was forced to actually rely on his friends for help#2 - how much he allows people to hug him#before Forces Sonic would usually push people away if they tried to hug him#some examples would be the wisps in Rise of the Wisps or Amy#but after Forces Sonic actually began letting people hug him and he hugged back#in IDW 56 he returned the embrace to the wisps#and during IDW as well as in the ending of Frontiers he hugged Amy (and Tails and Knuckles but my point still stands)#6 MONTHS OF SOLITARY CONFINEMENT AFFECTED HIM!#IT'S SUBTLE BUT IT'S THERE!

I just copied and pasted all this because it's all so true. People get mad when I call Sonic a "loner," and to be fair, that's not exactly the correct term, but historically, Sonic has preferred being alone at times. Tails is just kind of "is there" in Sonic 2 and 3. (And there's that Game Gear/Master version of 2 with the bad ending... the implication is that Sonic knows he left Tails to die and is affected by it, but didn't go back for him. Thank goodness that isn't canon.)

It's often been said that Sonic just keeps running and waits for everyone else to catch up, and I don't know if someone at Sega has expressly stated this or it's just an observation from the fandom, but it's definitely true. In the beginning, the only time he would turn around and go back was when he realized someone was in trouble. Like going after Amy when Zero was chasing her, or saving Froggy from Chaos.

TBF, Sonic didn't really care about Tails at the beginning. Sonic just let Tails tag along because Tails was an obsessive fanboy but not too annoying. And he proved useful because he's good with mechs. In return, Sonic protected Tails. It was a mutually beneficial relationship. The "brothers" thing just kind of grew out of that. (Not saying Sonic was unkind to Tails, but even in the animations in Origins, he doesn't go out of his way for the kid, just lets him tag along.)

As for hugs... yeah. We do have to bear in mind, tho, that Ian Flynn is the main writer for the American version of Frontiers, but... Flynn didn't write the story, did he? The story started in Japanese, and Flynn just wrote the English dialogue. And the animation was made to fit the original Japanese story. So maybe Sonic really is loosening up a bit.

People who complain that Sonic's character is "static" must have never played Unleashed or Black Knight. Or they did, but they didn't understand them.

I think one of the reasons why Unleashed and Black Knight are such fan favorites and stick in our memory so well is because the entire theme of both games is about taking Sonic out of his element, taking away things that he has relied on for so long- speed, jumping, spindashing, boosting, homing attacks- taking all those things away from him, and seeing how he does.

And he still shines. Even without all the abilities that he has relied on throughout his entire life, he still manages to beat the Big Bad.

(Please note that I haven't finished either game yet and I'm just drawing from what I've been spoiled on.)

As the werehog, Sonic is not able to curl into a ball at all (we're ignoring the mobile games for this post), and his greater height and weight, probably due to a larger bone structure, as well as heavier, thicker fur, keeps him from being able to run as fast or jump as high as he's used to. He now how to resort to fighting styles he has never used before, including several forms of martial arts (aided by his Dark Gaia-powered stretch abilities). Perhaps the most unusual of all is how he has to get down on all fours to run.

In addition, Sonic describes his werehog form as "pretty ugly." Sonic thinks of himself as good-looking, and this is a part of his personal identity, which is part of why he was upset that Amy didn't recognize him (no matter what feelings he may or may not have for her). The werehog form also seems to be physically uncomfortable and taxing on Sonic's body due to the heavier weight, as the werehog idle animations include Sonic stretching in an exaggerated way and forcibly rotating his shoulders (motions I, myself, have learned to use after years at a desk job that has ruined my neck and upper back). Sonic's idle animations also include him being jumpy and looking around every few seconds- basically, the werehog never fully relaxes.

All in all, Sonic is very uncomfortable as a werehog, and prefers not to be seen in this form. But the reason why is not fully evident until he thanks Chip for protecting him and keeping him from turning evil. To this, Chip replies, "I haven't done anything, Sonic. You're too strong to lose yourself."

On top of this, Amy doesn't have a problem with Sonic's appearance. She still loves him. Tails also doesn't care what Sonic looks like. Neither does Professor Pickle. Neither does ANYONE. Even if they're startled by the werehog's appearance at first, they all seem to go, "Oh, it's just Sonic. This is just what he's like at night."

The entire story of Unleashed was about Sonic coming to realize that he is not who he is because of what he looks like or how he is built.

Black Knight takes this a step further. In Unleashed, Sonic wasn't able to run, but he was still able to use his body as a weapon. In Black Knight, Sonic can run again, but nowhere near as fast as his normal speed. All of Sonic's abilities to fight with his body are stripped from him, and he is forced to use an actual weapon, instead. And Sonic hates this. He even says it: "I wish I didn't have to use this dang sword!"

Sonic has never used a weapon before in the games (as far as I am aware, anyway). His weapon has always been his own body: his feet, his fists, his whole body via spindash and homing attack. Now he's having to train himself to fight with something outside of his own body. This requires not only the creation of new muscle memory, but also a complete shift in the way his brain processes information to fight. He always has the option to just crumble and say, "I can't do this, it's not what I'm used to, I give up." He never does that. He complains a bit at first, but eventually rises to the occasion and excels at swordfighting.

Please bear in mind that I haven't ever gotten past the King Arthur battle. I presume Sonic is forced to kill him, and then I believe there's another half a game after that. But so far, it seems that Sonic's character arc in Black Knight is about him learning that he is not who he is just because of what he can do.

What makes Sonic Sonic is not what he looks like or what he is able to do, but about who he is inside. Sonic is someone who cares, someone who is strong, someone who doesn't give up, someone who sees a difficult situation and, no matter how much of an inconvenience it may be, turns it around and finds a way through.

[xproskeith]

"When you hear about a virus spreading overseas, somewhere really far away, it feels foreign. There's this really weird feeling that it some won't affect you - that it won't get you."

- Josh Dun

Man he nailed it. That's how me and so many friends and especially fellow coworkers felt and joked about it. We had no idea the fresh hell that awaited us.

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

[turtleblogatlast]

Unironically think that each of the bros (+April) don’t actually get how impressive their feats really are so they just do what they do and on the off chance someone comments on those feats they all react like: