#But I remember so much here and there of the Chinese side of who I am

[thetruearchmagos]

Been watching a lot of Xiran Jay Zhao recently, and boy is it the sorta thing that makes me reflect on what, exactly, I 'am'.

[luveline]

I NEEEEEED MORE STRIPPER!READER X SPENCER

fem, 1.2k

You and Spencer aren't dating, but he thinks you might be in the before. 

"You're home!" you say, clambering at the door to slip out of your shoes. You throw yourself at him as soon as you're close enough, the salted caramel and sandalwood of your new perfume washing over him. "You're here! I missed you." 

Spencer tries not to blush. He wishes you weren't so close —his hair is lank from two days unwashed, his five o'clock shadow obvious and embarrassing. If you notice anything unappealing about him you don't give the slightest inclination, your arms crossing over his back as you drive your face into his neck. 

"I can't believe how much I missed you, Dr. Reid," you say warmly. 

"I missed you too." Morgan would laugh at him for being this earnest, maybe comment on his lack of charisma, but Spencer doesn't know how else to show that he's interested beyond sincerity. 

You step back but work your hands up his neck and into his hair, raking it away from his cheeks. "That's better. I can see you better now." 

Spencer thought he remembered only horrible things from being a teenager, but he remembers this feeling, sweaty-palmed, heart-racing want. You tilt his head gently one way and then the other like you're following the motion of a wave, fingertips scratching in his hair, the sensation stirring the very pit of his stomach. No trace of tiredness remains on your face, only spritely joy to see him. 

"That feels nice," he confesses. He's not weird about it, more friendly. 

Your aswering grin tells him he nailed the casualness he was aiming for. 

"You've been working hard," you say, tucking his hair behind his ears and dusting down his shoulders, "I can tell. You look tired." 

"You don't. Short shift?" 

"Is it weird that bad weather genuinely keeps people home? I guess they prefer their wives when it's cold." 

"No, really? Who could ever pick the woman they married over you and those silver shorts?" he teases, peeling out of his sweater.

The shirt underneath is rumpled, but he doesn't care about that. Anything to be seen between you has been seen. Spencer has, unquestionably, seen you half naked. You've seen him in his boxers, so you're just about square. "Idiots, all of them." 

You're staying with him again while a security company fits your apartment with the appropriate trappings. Or, that was the initial reason. Spencer went with you to assess after it was done, discovering black mould in the corner of your bedroom and spreading its evil way across the bathroom ceiling. 

What is that? he asked, knowing what it was, hoping you'd at least pretend to be concerned. 

That's fifty bucks off a month, Spence. Don't look so horrified. 

"I missed you," you say for the third time in as many minutes. "And I hoped you'd be home, so I brought Chinese food for two."

You and Spencer change into pyjamas, and it's cliche but whatever, you look beautiful undone —he's not stupid enough to lie to himself about how he feels when you're wearing your little outfits, but he prefers this side of you a thousand times over because you like it better. You wear your prized baseball tee, white with blue sleeves, and a pair of sweatpants pushed up high on one leg while you ice your sore knee. He sits cross legged opposite, jabbing his chopsticks into one of your crispy spring rolls just to watch you gasp. 

"Can I ask you something too personal?" 

You rub down the length of your naked calf, sighing as some of the tension releases. You're more bruise than girl lately, splodges of tender skin patterning the inside. "What don't you know about me, at this point?" you ask. 

Like it's a good thing. Like you're glad for it. 

"Are you making enough money?" he asks. 

You steal back your spring roll, answering him through rice paper and greens, "Kind of. Not tonight, but enough for dinner. I'll be okay." 

"Did you think about it?" 

You shovel through your waxy box of rice, shrugging. "I thought about it, but… it's not realistic. What office would take me? What drug store?" 

"I could loan you the money while you apprentice, and get some experience, you could go back to school–" He says it all in a rush and you still knock him down. 

"It's real sweet of you, Spence, it is, but I couldn't let you do that. That makes me your charity case, and not your friend." 

"What else do you do for the people you care about?" he asks. Let them stay at a job they don't like, even if they're good at it, one that puts them statistically at higher risk for femicide or assault? 

"I wouldn't need a loan, Spencer, I'd need more than you have," you say gently. "I'd have to start my life from scratch. How would I pay rent? You couldn't afford to keep us both." 

"You could stay with me again." 

You shake your head. "You're the best friend I've ever had, which is why I'm saying no." 

He doesn't get what you mean, but you finish your dinner and help him clean up. He more than trusts you to stay here alone while he's on a case, you've honestly left it in better condition than you found it, and he insists you sleep in his bed again while you're here. 

"Don't be silly," you say, throwing a sheet out over the couch. "This is your place. You need to sleep in your own bed." 

The disaster is that it smells like you. Spencer says goodnight to you reluctantly and leaves you on the couch with every throw blanket he owns, climbing into his own bed and pulling the comforter up to his nose. He imagines you here at night, your body wash still clinging to your skin from a late night shower, your hand tucked under his pillow. There are so many things he'd like to give you, if you'd just let him. 

He spends a quiet thirty minutes like that, missing the warmth of your skin and your casual touching, wishing he could offer you the fresh start you desire, even if it meant he wasn't involved. 

The couch springs creak as you toss and turn, the sound finding it's way down the short hall from the living room slash kitchen to his bedroom. Hesitant, Spencer shifts in bed, hitting that one coil in his mattress just right, the twang resounding.  

You appear in his doorway with your borrowed pillows crushed to your chest not long after that. You don't need to ask, Spencer doesn't need to answer. He can't give you everything that you want, but he can give you a quiet, comfortable night next to someone who loves you. 

Ever well-tempered, you slip into the sheets beside him and curl up toward him, your fingertips brushing his side. You don't look at him in the dark, but you mumble sleepily, fingers twitching, "Night, Spence." 

You're out like a light. 

[bedsyandco]

⭑  …  ❝ 𝐈 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ❞ ; lando norris

𝓹airing , fem!bsf!reader x lando norris

in which lando always misses his best friend (you) terribly when he travels as much as he does. so when you travel with him to the Chinese GP, he couldn’t be happier to have you by his side. However when you spend a few hours with Lily when lando and alex are busy with meetings, he can’t help but feel a bit of separation anxiety settle in.

꒰ 𝓷ote , my first time writing for lando!! the friends to lovers trope just never gets old and thus I shall never stop writing it . . . ꒱

lando was laying on his hotel bed, debating whether or not he should get up and retrieve the TV remote. he knew he wasn’t going to pay much attention anyway. his mind was elsewhere. specifically on that old brown clock on the wall, the obnoxious sound of tik-tik-tik making him hyper aware of every second that passes. every second that he was stuck in that hotel room and you were somewhere else without him.

he wasn’t stuck exactly. it’s not like he’s a prisoner that couldn’t go anywhere, he could very well call or text you, find out where you and lily have wandered off to and join the two of you. or simply snatch you away and bring you back here.

lando would like to say that he wasn’t usually this selfish with you, but that would be a lie. ever since he met you at that one karting event, lando’s been jealous of anyone else who gets to spend time with you.

he still remembers the day he met you like it was yesterday. it was just during the time period when lando began to really get into karting, he was maybe six or seven. he was good at it too, relishing in taking the number one spot on the make shift podium every time. and that was the case that particular weekend as well, although from the way everyone seemed to flock to you afterwards, you wouldn’t have been able to tell who won.

lando was really annoyed by it, making assumptions in his anger that maybe they only focused so much on you because you were the only girl, but later he would learn that it wasn’t the case. people flocked to you simply because you were… you.

lando wasn’t immune to it either because by the third time you guys raced each other, you had become best of friends. and even years later when your interest had gone beyond the race track and lando’s passion for it only intensified, you had still remained close.

therefore it wasn’t a foreign concept for lando not see you often. he was travelling most of the year, rarely in one country for more than a couple weeks at a time. and he knew how serious you were about your studies and now your job, you weren’t going to follow him around like a lost puppy, although he had tried to convince you more than once already.

on the rare occasion that you did fly out and visited him, he wanted every minute of your time to be spent with him, which is why he’s a little pouty that his meeting stretched long today and you had decided to occupy your time by going to explore the city with lily.

lando was aware that his mindset was a tad bit childish, but he hadn’t seen you all day and that justifies —

his thoughts get halted by a beep in the door, followed by the prettiest girl he’s ever seen making her way into his room. lando moves so fast he almost trips multiple times on the way to you. he’s sure he’s mimicking an over excited puppy. who’s been waiting all day for their owner to come home (as he has been) and getting excited and flocking to them as soon as they walk through the door (as he did) and then following and clinging to them for an ounce of attention (as he’s about to)

“hi lan,” you greet him, putting your shopping bags down against the wall and removing your jacket, hanging it behind the door

he doesn’t respond verbally, instead just wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you towards the bed.

“lan,” you giggle as he falls on top of the bed, pulling you with him. he tightens his arms around you and rests his head on your chest sighing constantly as your hands run through his hair

“lily asked if we wanted to go to dinner with her and alex tonight. I said I’d hear what your plans are first,” you say

“no. I’m not in the mood for other people. I only wanna see you right now. I really missed you.” lando says and you laugh softly

“you just saw me yesterday,” you say softly and lando purses his lips, resting his chin on your chest to look at you

“so? am I not allowed to miss you? are you saying you didn’t miss me?” lando asks, gasping in mock hurt and you laugh

“no I did. I always miss you. cause my best friend just had to go and choose one of the jobs where he’s rarely home and I barely get to see him,” you say dramatically, a smile on your face but it quickly fades when you see the solemn expression on lando’s face

“what’s wrong?” you ask, gently caressing his cheek and he leans into your hand

“nothing,” he replies but you give him a look and he sighs before saying, “I just wonder if it’s worth it sometimes. all the travelling, the never being home, the missing out on seeing my niece grow up. all the things I could’ve had by now,” lando says, looking at you as if he wanted to add to it but he’s holding back.

“what things? lan racing is all you’ve ever wanted to do. it’s your dream. your passion. it’s everything to you-“

“well maybe it shouldn’t be. maybe I wanna prioritize my personal life too. and maybe I wanna see you more than just three times a year,” lando says and your heart squeezes at the longing look on his face

“maybe I wanna stop being scared and tell the girl I’ve been in love with my life that I can’t go three hours without seeing her, let alone three months,” lando says, playing the the strings of his hoodie, vulnerability shining through

“you never said anything,” you reply, your heart beating so loud in your chest you can hear it in your ears

“cause it’s selfish. what can I offer you? I travel all the time. I’m barely home. I won’t be able to be there for you in the same capacity you’re there for me. and it would be unfair to ask you to travel with me all the time. it’s just unfair, and I won’t do it to you. but the idea of giving up racing…”

“is utterly ridiculous and you would be so unhappy,” you say and lando lets out a soft laugh. his heart swelling at the fact you know him that well

“yeah,” he agrees. furrow between his brows as he lets out a sigh

“the thing about racing is that there are so many things out of your control lan. and relying on that for your happiness is setting yourself up for failure,” you say

“well… there are certain things I can control,” lando says, looking at your lips briefly before lowering his head to yours, your lips connecting in a soft kiss that sparks butterflies in your stomach

“should’ve done that a long time ago,” lando says softly and the grin on your face mirrors his

“do it again,” you say and he laughs softly, pressing his lips to yours once more

lando knows in a few days he’s gonna have to miss you all over again, but as long as he gets to come home to you at the end of the day, everything’s gonna be okay.

[mehiwilldoitlater]

When you were taken by your original world and sent into some kind of ancient China, full of demons and monsters, you weren't exactly sure why you were supposed to assist the "Destined one." Damn, you didn't even know how this.

When you find out that this destiny one was some kind of successor of Sun Wukong, saying that you were surprised was a joke.

His eyes scrutinized you; they were dark with a tint of gold when the light stricked them. He silently circled you, creating some distance between you, himself, and the other monkeys, curious about the mortals that presented themselves on their mountain.

Every time you tried to keep some distance, he was ready to close it enough to never leave his sight. What a strange situation, and what strange creature was sent to him just at the dawn of his journey.

The stories portrayed Wukong, as the name says, as a monkey kind of guy: cheerful, ready to make some jokes, who liked to make fun of people and laugh. And yet, the destined one was nothing like this trope.

He was composed, serious, and always straight forward. It was like he decided to expel every fun side from him in order to fulfill his duty.

Despite that, he showed more side to you: he was caring, trying to understand your confusion and fear while in a new world, always remembering to keep your peace while walking to make sure that you didn't get lost around. He was your protector, always ready to strike at every danger, and a good friend in the moment of agony.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't cry for these things, but... I'm sorry, so sorry."

You missed home. You never could believe yourself, but you missed your monothone and unsavory life. You missed waking up, going to walk, listening to endless hours of your boss rumbling—you missed even the crappy food of the cafeteria!

Everything seems so far away, without hope of reaching it. And you felt like trash because he was the one that was there to listen. You felt ashame, ashame of the fact that you were there complaining about what you lost while he was there fighting for both of you. You tried to cover your eyes, holding your breath to calm down, but nothing worked at all.

A stream of tears keeps on crashing down, hiccups escaping your lungs without stop.

Then, you felt his arms—two pairs of strong and soft arms, protecting your now vulnerable state from everything and everyone. His tail followed his gesture, keeping you in place and warm—so warm.

"Please." His high peech voice is now reduced to a whisper. "Don't hold it. Don't hold the pain. I can't see you like this. Please, whatever cloud your heart, speak to me."

Soon, you both became inseparable. You followed him like a shadow, carrying pills and balms, making plans with him for your next move. Damn, even Bajie couldn't believe his eyes when he saw you behind the monkey, a little afraid of the newcomer of the group.

You weren't anymore just some random mortal the Destined one had found and kept at his tail; now you were the Destined done caompanion and trusted friend. His journey became your journey, and his task your task. You both became bound by a silent vow.

"Say...why don't you choose a name? A real one this time."

"I never thought about it." He started to play with a leaf fallen from the nearby tree, thinking about your new idea.

You reached his side, holding his hand in yours, caressing the black claws on it. Once those scared you, now you wonder if a nice manicure could make them look prettier than now.

"Well, you can't let me call you Destined One or Monkey forever! You need a proper name! Something nice! ...umm...how about... Yuánfèn?"

"Um? Since when can you name people here?"

"Well," you continued, "it's destiny in Chinese, no? Like..fate!"

He looked at you, then laughed between his teeth a little. "There's no difference in how they usually call me then!"

"Yes, but...this is how I call you! So is different!"

Soon, you start to not miss home that much. You start to hope to be closer to him—to not go back. You hope that, after your honeymoon, you can stay together and that, despite all, there can be a happy ending for both of you. And silently, in his head, he hoped that too.

"May i?"

He gave you his silent consent, allowing you to caress his cheek with your so small fingers. Your lips met his own, your gesture so timid and gentle that you ask yourself if it's still a small image in your mind instead of something that you're actually doing now. He hasn't moved an inch; confusion starts to come to him and yourself, to the point that you need to stop. Now you just feel ashamed; you felt that you crossed a line, and now you don't even know if you can even go back.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

A small shush from him, his finger holding your chin and guiding you against him. This time, he's trying to mimic your gesture, a blush forming from his face to the visible part of his ears. His kiss is trembling but fierce. He waited long enough to see your still puzzled face.

"I...may don't get how you did it...Can you show me...again, please?"

You don't need to let him ask again; soon your lips smash together again, showing him exactly what's happening.

Your fate is sealed with that kiss, and there's no force on heaven and earth to undo it.

@sun-jglim

[bones4thecats]

Adopting Their Fallen Enemy's Child (PT.1) ~ RoR/SnV x Child! Reader

Type of Writing: Poll Result Characters: Thor, Shiva, & Child! Reader Name: Adopting Their Fallen Enemy's Child (PT.1) Original Poll Link: Here Other Parts: (PT.2)

A/N: I actually really liked this idea on the poll I made, and I hope it turned out as good as I imagined it! Enjoy!!

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🌩️ Your father was the Lü Bu, the Flying General himself, and when you heard from the Valkyrie named Brunhilde that he was set to fight in the first match of Ragnarok, you gave him the best support he could’ve asked for

🌩️ You sat alongside his army, with his strategist, Chen Gong, sitting next to you, trying to keep you from jumping down and attacking the God of Thunder yourself

🌩️ When Chen Gong and the others sacrificed themselves, stating their loyalty to you father, you stood there in shock and tear-filled eyes as Thor looked at you, seeing a child without anyone left

🌩️ He felt guilty, but this was what they wanted, they wanted to join their lord, and while he initially wanted to just leave the area, he walked up to you and shocked the Gods and Humans as he kneeled down and hugged you

🌩️ After that day, you stayed by Thor’s side, he reminded you so much of your father it would make you cry

🌩️ Thor may not be the best person when it comes to comforting, but he tries his best when it comes to you, Lü Bu was the one person who could stand a fight against him, and because of this, he would try training you to be just as strong as your father and him

🌩️ He honors your father with you. Every day on his birthday, and on the days of each of his soldiers, including Chen Gong, you would walk into a field in the forest located in the Chinese section of Valhalla, you would both hand off flowers and lay them on the graves you and him had made

🌩️ The words he said to you when he comforted you that day are words that you will never forget

“ Your father was an honorable man, I hope you know that. And because of the honor he possessed, I will take you in as my own. I believe it is something that your father would’ve wanted. “

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🪩 He believed that Raiden was the one opponent he would remember the rest of his life, and when he saw the now-deceased rikishi stare at a young child with the two Valkyries, he froze

🪩 The man was a father, just like him

🪩 But while his child could handle loss of someone easily, you appeared to be around a young teen, this must’ve been one of the hardest things you ever had to witness

🪩 Shiva looked at you and back at the crumbling Raiden Tameemon, guilt filled his heart, which was something he hadn’t felt for such a long time, why did he feel guilty? He just won and brought honor to his pantheon!

🪩 Watching as you ran down and tried hugging the remaining pieces of your father just got him staring back at his wives and son, and when he saw how saddened their eyes were then they looked at you

🪩 The God of Destruction walked up to you and you jumped back when his one arm reached out to you, and that action made the Humans cry out for him to not hurt you

🪩 He kneeled down and since he was just on fire, the heat that radiated off of him made you hold your head away from him

“ Look at me, young one. “

🪩 You looked up at him and saw how his eyes shimmered with guilt, making you look at where your father once stood and back at the man who caused his demise

🪩 Shiva held is one arm back as you tried helping him stay standing when he slumped over in pain, after all, losing three arms doesn't exactly make anyone, including Gods, feel very good

🪩 Once you came to visit him with his wives and son, he saw how you carried yourself around him, not with resentment or fear, but with care and gentleness, making him smile

🪩 Whenever he rested, you laid next to him, you were like another child of his, and when he offered to take care of you in the Hindu Pantheon, it made you jump up and down and hug him and his wives as they agreed to taking you in as their own

“ Your father was one of the best fighters I have ever met in my thousands of years of life. And… seeing you look so painfully at where your father once stood, I just, I knew you had to have someone there for you. Would you do me, and my wives, the honor of joining our family? ”

[digitaldiarystuff]

Misunderstood

summary: You and Jude go on a late night drive when he gives you a present and you freak out

pairing: Jude Bellingham x Y/N

genre: angst/ fluff

————

When Jude had to bail on your dinner date you were pretty bummed. You realized his schedule was hectic and you couldn’t meet everyday but tonight you put so much effort in your looks and felt sad. You didn’t even bother changing your dress and went straight to depression mode bringing out ice cream as dinner. You were halfway into the rom-com you were watching until your phone started buzzing.

“Hey baby.” you said a little sleepy.

“Hey love, are you at home?”

“Where else would I be Jude, of course I’m at home.” you sarcastically said.

“Okay then come out.”

“Are you here?” you exclaimed ecstatic about meeting your boyfriend. You missed him so much and desperately needed him to hold you.

“Yes Y/N just come out here.”

“But where are we going, all the restaurants are closed.” you said realizing it’s well past 2 a.m.

“Just come to me.” he said and hung up. Rude, you thought but the excitement to see him was too much that you grabbed your coat and skipped like a little girl to his car.

“I missed you so much.” you said as soon as you were seated and reached out to his side to hug him. He always brought comfort to you.

“Oh my god baby you look unreal.” he said as he’s eyeing you without shame. “And I’m here looking like a homeless man”

You chuckled “I don’t think homeless people wear Prada.”

“Some of them do, no seriously I saw one of them the other day full on rocking Givenchy.” he said and you felt all your stress lifting. Jude always made your mood go up immediately.

After that he reached for the back seat and grabbed some takeout.

“I know you skipped dinner so I brought you some.” he said and you smiled seeing how well he knew you.

“You’re the best.” you said as he started driving to a spot where you could overlook the city and eat in peace. Even though Jude’s career and his social life was a little much sometimes, these calm moments were your favorites. Just you two enjoying each other’s company with no distractions.

As soon as he pulled up, you grabbed the Chinese food from the packages and gave him his chopsticks. You ate and talked about your day and the things that bothered you since you were both drama queens. This was a fun conversation you had everyday, you told each other everyone who made you mad and gossiped about them.

“And then he said I should eat less because I gained 0.5% fat.”

“Oh no he didn’t.” you fake gasped and laughed. Jude was so extra sometimes.

You spoke for a few more minutes until you remembered something.

“Oh god, what am I even gonna get your mum for her birthday? What if I choose something hideous?” you panicked and Jude calmed you down saying how much his mum loves you and would love anything from you.

“But since we’re on the subject of presents.” he said and opened the console in front of you.

“I got you a little something.”

You noticed the blue bag immediately. It was Tiffany, and small. You felt your heart beating and started panicking. Your friends made some jokes about you being already married with Jude since your relationship was going on for 2 years and strong but you always avoided the subject. Coming from a broken household, with separated parents, you were always afraid of marriage from a young age. Jude knew that and respected your ideas though he always said he wanted to spend eternity with you.

But seeing a small box in a Tiffany bag has made you anxious, surely Jude wouldn’t propose to you right? You knew that but you couldn’t hide your horrified expression as his burrows furrowed.

“You don’t wanna open it?” he asked.

“Jude, what’s in the box?” you asked warily.

“Baby, open it and see.” he was confused about your reaction.

“Jude I need you to tell me what’s inside it. Please.” you begged getting more and more agitated.

“Y/N what’s going on? It’s just a gift, I saw it in the store and thought you’d love it.”

“What is it?”

“Y/N what are you so pressed about? This isn’t a complex situation, you grab the bag open it and thank me. Why are you acting weird love?”

When you said nothing, he snatched the bag from you and opened it himself.

“It’s just a fucking necklace, I’m not proposing to you.” he laughed a little trying to lighten the mood until he saw your face.

“Y/N I”

“I’m sorry Jude, I’m so sorry.” you started sobbing from guilt. You freaked out about nothing and have been rude to Jude. He immediately realized what’s going on and you could see his eyes fill with guilt as well.

“Baby, shh it’s okay. It’s not your fault I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry.”

“No no it’s my fault, I freaked out on you. I’m sorry, I’m just a weirdo who doesn’t appreciate you enough.” he held you against his body and helped you calm down. After your sniffles stopped he leaned back and held your cheeks to make you look up at him.

“Y/N you don’t owe me any explanation, I love you with all your weirdness and flaws just like you love me. I want to spend my life with you, you’re it for me with or without a big commitment and ceremony. I want you next to me but would never push you, I’ll always be with you.”

You smiled at him and realized you’re the luckiest girlfriend ever.

“Thank you Jude, for everything and for the record I want to spend my life with you too.”

He kissed you with love and you happily reciprocated.

“I can’t believe you thought I’d propose like this. You really don’t even know me at all.” he said looking offended and you giggled.

“Now let’s see this necklace, do you want to put it on me?” you said and turned your back to him as he pulled it and clasped the back. It was the most beautiful piece of jewelry you’ve ever laid eyes on.

“But you do know me.”

“Of course I do.” he said and kissed your temple after seeing the pendant on your neck.

[mikaela-the-slut-expert]

Maple Robes and Lace Veils

Hua Cheng x M!Reader x Xie Lian

this is the second part of my first story, "The First Glance". Again it's technically about my OC since no one's asking for anything. I just have it written to where it can be for a reader. 😋

Switching pov's

Also guys I am not Chinese but I try to find words and translations that are important to my OC's story.

Dúshé means poison laced tongue in simplified Chinese (I think)

Mûguô means bitch, or whore in simplified Chinese (I think)

Míngqín means song bird it's Y/n's nickname

Previous part: First Glance

_____________________________________________

Once the morning has officially started, San Lang goes back to his wood pile. You stand by Xie Lian while San Lang somehow manages to build a whole door for the shrine. Xie Lian seems to love it, it's obvious with how he's become fascinated by opening and closing it repeatedly.

"I thought a door would be easier to stick talismans on than a curtain" San Lang explains. You smile and give a small clap. "It's a very well made door, San Lang, good job" you giggle at Xie Lian's excitement.

At the mention of talismans Xie Lian seems to remember something. He claps his hands together, "Oh Míngqín I forgot to tell you what happened at Mount Yunjin! I'm so sorry, so much happened yesterday"

You wave a hand, "it's nothing to worry about. How important could it be? I was there for most of it." You smile but Xie Lian's face is very serious so really nothing's funny at all.

"Well actually," Xie Lian laughs nervously, scratching his temple. "I talked with the heavenly officials and I found out that I met a calamity yesterday." Your face morphs into shock but Xie Lian quickly settles you down. "Not him." The words are met with silence. Of course it wasn't the white calamity. What were you thinking? ,"They called him Crimson Rain Sought Flower, his name is Hua Cheng" Xie Lian smiles. At this ghost's mention San Lang starts to pay attention to the conversation. "He walked me through the forest yesterday and I mistook him to be the ghost groom but he isn't. He isn't hard to be mistaken after seeing his silver butterflies ."

You're in shock. Because you got caught up in a swarm of silver butterflies yesterday. "I... Just don't understand. Why would a calamity be hanging around Mount Yunjin? Crimson Rain Sought Flower is known to stay in his den." You sigh.

You easily worry about Xie Lian and panic once more. "He didn't hurt you did he?" You move closer to Xie Lian and hold his face, looking for marks or bruises. "Why didn't you call for me, I would've been there right away." You frown and move back once you're satisfied with your search.

"There was no need to call, he didn't hurt me... He led me through the forest and safely delivered me to the temple." Xie Lian smiles but you sigh.

Xie Lian didn't get hurt, but a well known calamity shows up and helps Xie Lian? Coincidence. The same calamity helping you? Intention.

"...I suppose it's okay. As long as you didn't get hurt A-Lian. Just be careful." You look to the ground, but Xie Lian pats your head. "I am careful, ah you really should've seen the butterflies though Míngqín They were very beautiful"

You arch a brow then shake your head. "I actually did see them but, Wèizhī might eat them" Wèizhī is your two birds - Oriental Magpie- , they're not here right now though. They're probably bathing in water somewhere. Hm a bath doesn't sound so bad actually-, "Y/n?" You're brought back into focus when San Lang gains your attention. "Sorry I tend to lose my train of thought" you hum.

"What about you y/n?" You cock your head to the side at San Lang's question. "What have you heard about Crimson Rain" San Lang smiles mischievously.

"Why would I know anything about anybody?" You shrug. Of course you've heard and seen plenty about Hua Cheng, you're a ghost. You're... Residence happens to be near Ghost City.

Xie Lian nods in agreement though, he could use the info. You sigh, "Who knows? He stays in his den, and although close I've never seen him in my city." You shrug again.

All of you eventually go back inside. You end up staring at the painting again. You would have eventually painted something for Xie Lian but you've been busy working on the actual build of the shrine. You've always been good at the arts. Drawing, dancing, and singing. That is why you're the God of Song after all.

"San Lang's skills are very beautiful" You say, looking over at him. "Who taught you?"

San Lang shakes his head. "I had a good teacher a while back, I paint mostly for fun now." You nod at his explanation and smile back at the painting. You really do like it. It shows Xie Lian in what once used to be all his glory.

"Do you really like it so much, Míngqín?" Xie Lian stares at you and you've forgotten you don't have a veil on. They can see your expressions and you aren't just invisible anymore. You blush, and instinctively cover your mouth with your sleeve.

"O-oh, well yes I like it. It's very well done and it captures the prince of XianLe very beautifully." You stutter and look away.

The moment is interrupted when the three of you hear a scream and a man running towards the shrine. "Save Me! Save me please!" The panicked man grabs Xie Lian's wrist very harshly. It's in your nature, you can't help it. You are quick to push the man away, and to protect Xie Lian. He pats your arm however, in a 'It's okay' motion. Xie Lian sits the man down and asks for an explanation from him.

You and San Lang glare at him. Both of you don't trust him and both of you share a glance when the man explains he's from Banyue pass. Which has since turned into a dry land of sands. The man was running away from what killed his other group members.

"You ran all the way from Banyue pass to here?" San Lang asks with crossed arms. Your form is the same. The man seems to sweat at this, but Xie Lian in all his kindness offers the man a drink. Xie Lian is kind but he's probably just testing if the man is a mortal or not.

"No need to be polite you can drink" The man -for all his supposed running- hesitates to take the water Xie Lian so generously offered. When he does drink it, the water going into his body sounds hollow. You and Xie Lian both know it. "You can stop drinking now." Xie Lian says and takes the water from the man's hands. His disguise is ruined and everyone knows now. The man rises up quickly though and pulls a sword from his sleeve, moving to attack Xie Lian.

Before you or San Lang can act, Xie Lian is quick enough to flick the sword away. Sometimes you forget Xie Lian is just hiding his strength. The man tries to run and Xie Lian moves to use Rou'ye but the man drops and a sad looking skin bag(?) is left behind... A chopstick is what caused the damage. You and Xie Lian both whip your heads around to San Lang. Xie Lian goes to investigate the corpse but you still stare at San Lang.

"A chopstick?" You ask with an arched brow. "A chopstick" San Lang only smiles and you sigh. You both go to Xie Lian. When you get closer you can see that Xie Lian is using the array, so you do too. The only thing you can really hear is people being joyful about merits, and ignoring Xie Lian. Officials disgust you.

"Are the lot of you deaf? Did you not hear his highness? He asked a question." Your voice rings through the array and the officials who were once joyful before quiet down. Instead of answering, the cowards leave the array.

You're not a popular force in the heavens. Especially since your personality has always been cold and distant. You were actually loved once before, for your unnatural beauty and voice people revered you. That was until they found out you were a ghost and before they trashed Xie Lian's name. You would cause trouble for the other gods and challenge them often, causing fear to most officials. You always defended Xie Lian's name and when given the chance for promotion, you refused and chose to stay with Xie Lian instead.

This loyalty of yours to a scrap god however causes other officials to look down on you, they also just don't like your attitude. You have other unofficial titles that the heavenly officials made and of course those names spread. There's one title that used to be used quite often but you actually haven't heard any officials call you that in a long time. That title is "mûguô". Someone caught word of your past and decided to spread the name to upset you, but it faded out very quickly. That official -who you never even knew the name of- disappeared shortly after, with their temples burnt and no trace of them.

You're stuck in your thoughts until you hear Ling Wen answer Xie Lian's question about Banyue Pass. You leave the array, Xie Lian will tell you what's going on. When you look over at San Lang he's giving you a cheeky smile. "What?" You tilt your head but he just shakes his head.

You run your hands over your new braid while Xie Lian talks to Ling Wen. You mess with the red ribbon San Lang tied your hair with. It's definitely a pop out color compared to all the white you wear.

"San Lang, I'm afraid me and y/n will have to go far away soon" Xie Lian pipes up and stands from the... Thing on the ground. San Lang furrows a brow at the news and then gives a smug grin. "Why doesn't gege and y/n take me with them? I know a lot about Banyue Pass."

Xie Lian looks confused but he nods anyways. You wouldn't mind if San Lang came along either. "Oh? What do you know about Banyue Pass San Lang, you're far too young to know those things" you tease with a smile, while the three of you head inside the shrine.

San Lang chuckles and goes to speak before a knock on the door makes you all silent. You all look at each other in a moment of silence before Xie Lian opens the door.

When Xie Lian opens the door it reveals Mu Qing and Feng Xin who are in disguise... They are in a shocked silence not having seen you in a long time and to see your face after so long. You all sit in silence.

After you get over your shock you let out a panicked yelp and cover your face. They saw your face! Your cursed, cursed face! You shove your face into your hands. You didn't want Mu Qing to see it. He'd use it against you and you already hate him enough already. Feng Xin saw your face! He'll surely be disgusted with you now.

You start to groan into your sleeves, trying to move away from their eyes. You try to find your veil through the slits of your fingers. You can hear your name tumble from Feng Xin's lips but the door slams and someone whisks you away into their arms. They forcibly move your hands away from your face and now you can see that your face to face with red robes .

San Lang holds your wrists, and that stops you from hiding your face. "San Lang, my veil? Where's my veil?" You don't have a clue where he put it. Another pair of hands come into view and puts your veil over your eyes. You know it's Xie Lian.

Now that you can actually tell what your surroundings are you find that you're in San Lang's arms. You blush and step back. You hadn't meant to grip onto him so tightly.

__________________________________________________

Xie Lian sighs in relief when they find y/n's veil. Xie Lian is actually sad to see his face hidden again. He hasn't seen your face in so long and he missed it. Xie Lian supposes he doesn't mind though. If anyone deserves to see your beauty it's him and he actually doesn't want Feng Xin or Mu Qing to look. Xie Lian shakes his head to remove such thoughts. As if he could describe your face like it was a secret to keep between the three of you.

"I'm going to open the door now y/n" he pats your hand. He waits for your nod before opening the door again. He smiles nervously at the two officials outside. Of course Xie Lian knows who they really are but for now he'll pretend. "Ah why are you two here?"

Mu Qing and Feng Xin have crossed arms "Are you going to Banyue Pass? We're going with you" they say at the same time and then glare at each other. Xie Lian laughs but opens the door to let them inside. He looks at y/n keeping an eye on him. Xie Lian knows his temper.

When Feng Xin and Mu Qing see San Lang they're alarmed. Holding up their lighting, and fire. "Who's he?" Mu Qing nods his head at San Lang. Xie Lian sighs, "This is San Lang"

Feng Xin's eye twitches, "where did he come from? Where's his family? Do you usually invite people you don't know into your home?"

Xie Lian laughs nervously but he's glad that the attention isn't on y/n anymore.

Not until Mu Qing attempts to throw lightning at San Lang. It would have most definitely hit the wall and caused a big hole but y/n dispersed it. Sending a shot of ice towards Mu Qing. His face hides behind his veil but Xie Lian knows you're angry. "No fighting in the shrine. If you damage the shrine I promise to return the damage double to your god's palace" he spits with venom, threatening Mu Qing's palace.

It's evident y/n doesn't try to hide who he is. Sure he's in his avatar and he looks simple. However he doesn't do a good job at keeping his abilities at bay.

Xie Lian doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. The tension in the room is very high. Mu Qing looks ready to argue back but San Lang steps in front of y/n and stands by Xie Lian's side. "Are these two servants, gege?" He hums with a smug smirk.

"uhm something like that but not exactly-" Xie Lian gets interrupted when San Lang throws a broom into Mu Qing's hands. "Start helping then" San Lang smiles. His face resembles a mischievous fox. Y/n cackles.

Xie Lian waves his hands trying to calm a cursing Feng Xin and Mu Qing down. "Please for my sake leave him alone" he laughs nervously. He doesn't need his shrine to get destroyed not that y/n would let that happen.

Talking about y/n, ah. He's glaring at Mu Qing under the veil. He'll have to make sure they don't break out into a fight either. San Lang leans on y/n's shoulder and the stiffness seems to leave y/n's body. Xie Lian isn't too worried about anyone fighting. He thinks San Lang will keep a careful eye on y/n.

Xie Lian rubs his temple. "Maybe Feng Xin should make a pathway so that we can get to Banyue Pass quickly?"

Feng Xin does just that. Leaving Mu Qing standing alone in front of the three of them. "Is he coming with us?" Mu Qing points to San Lang with furrowed brows. Xie Lian sighs and goes to answer but y/n answers for him

"Of course, since when was it a servant's job to worry about his highness's friends?" Xie Lian drops his head when he realizes that Y/n has joined San Lang in his smart remarks.

Not only does he have to worry about one silver tongue but two. "Yes San Lang is coming with us. He knows a lot about Crescent Moon Pass and that's sure to help me" Xie Lian explains with a nervous smile.

Mu Qing is interrupted when Feng Xin cuts him off, "The pathway is finished". Mu Qing, ever the prideful looks at the pathway and shrugs, "I've seen better". Which leads to Feng Xin and Mu Qing bantering again.

Y/n interrupts them by activating the pathway. "Stop bickering like an old married couple let's go" San Lang snickers softly, "I never thought of that, they do bicker like an old married couple don't they" The two officials glare at San Lang and y/n. They smile back. Xie Lian only knows y/n is smiling because of his crow feet.

They all go through the portal. Xie Lian lets out a laugh, knowing that he's going to have to deal with all of the four's antics on their journey. Xie Lian is happy with his circus though.

__________________________________________________

Tell me if it's good guys I don't have an editor 😭 so sometimes I'm not aware if my story is actually well written. Yeah, anyways if you wanna request something or see more lemme know 🥰 also y'all I'm pulling the timeline out of my ass. I have no clue if I'm doing it right or not 🙏😭

Should I continue the series? Yes or no?

Oh also if y'all actually wanna see my OC lemme know! I didn't draw it don't hate on me 🫵😐

If anyone reads this plz plz plz plz PLEASE tell me if my submission box is working! I know I'm not getting anything but I want to know if it works!

[dangermousie]

A danmei lover's biased and incomplete het web novel rec list

@mercipourleslivres thanks for inspiring me!

When it comes to Chinese web novels, I mainly read danmei. I tend not to care too much for OP heroine with a hero who dotes on her for no reason as she fights with 14 year olds narratives, nor inner courtyard fights. BUT!!! There are some het web novels I like and so here is my biased and incomplete rec list. Most of these don't have OP heroines, and very little to none courtyard fights.

Before I start, my favorite het web novel authors are: Gong Xinwen, Mo Shu Bai, Peng Lai Ke, and Jiu Lu Fei Xiang. I have yet to read anything bad by them.

Anyway, rec list:

1000 Miles of Bright Moonlight - one of my ultimate favorites, this would make such an epic drama! A smart as hell heroine, a hero who is a monk and a warrior (but also terminally?) ill and such a vivid world and amazing secondary characters (heroine’s brother is possibly my favorite supporting character of all time) and so much angst and happy ending. This has an amazing romance but it’s not romance-centric if it makes sense - ML doesn’t appear for a while. But once he does, it’s worth it!

Accompanying the Phoenix - the one that just got adapted into The Legend of Shen Li, this is high adventure and cottage core and funny and tragic and powerful ML being putty in the hands of capable FL and just EVERYTHING.

Apocalypse Arrival - Gong Xinwen’s novels are made just for me. Her heroines are always powerful as fuck and rescue abused MLs. In this novel, our heroine who lives in the post-apocalyptic world, wakes up right before that apocalypse happens. She forms a survival crew and also rescues ML who has miraculous blood and has been drained of it and is now hunted after the rescue for it. SO GOOD!!!

Black Moonlight Holds the BE Script - so fucked up, so good, with monster hero who learns to love and be human and heroine who learns to love and be human (but from the other side, her tower of perfection.) Much better than the drama which I did enjoy.

The Blue Whisper - the drama was so-so, but the novel is a bona fide angst masterpiece, which really delves into what it feels like to be imprisoned or to love.

Counterattack of the Cannon Fodder Chambermaid - I remember starting this and loving the realistic feel and the heroine and wanting to stab the hero and @mercipourleslivres telling me to be patient. She was right, by the end I was on board with both the hero (who was abused and is rather autistic-coded) and the OTP. Anyway, heroine is a servant who was a concubine in the last life and got killed as part of a rich family’s harem intrigues. In this life, she just wants to keep her head down but her life gets derailed anyway. She gets sold away and eventually made a servant in the household of an exiled prince who takes a fancy to her and she endures it because what choice does she have? All she wanted was to serve out her term and become a small time merchant. This is quite realistic about lack of options for women, especially lower class women or upper class male attitudes (ML is never vicious or mean to FL but it does not initially occur to him to wonder if she fancies him or enjoys being his concubine or w/e.) It is a DELIGHTFUL slow burn tho as they grow to love each other and grow together and become one of the most wholesome cnovel couples out there.

Dandere General and His Lord - hi there, Gong Xinwen! God, I love this one. Heroine transmigrates from modern world into a brutal slave-holding world at war (think something like Warring States era.) Our heroine transmigrates into the body of a noblewoman who just hung herself. When she comes to, she discovers that woman’s twin brother was the ruler of a city poisoned by a rival claimant and the besieging army of said claimant is about to take the city and original occupant of the body and the rest of the family chose suicide as a way to avoid dishonor. Our heroine refuses, schemes with advisors to pass as the brother and rally the troops. Once the invaders are defeated, she keeps on the masquerade and rides off to one of the never-ending wars “she” is summoned to. Our hero couldn’t be farther from this. A slave and a son of a slave, he’s escaped a horrific, starving childhood during which he narrowly avoided being murdered or raped, and ended up in the army. When the story opens, he distinguished himself in battle and as a reward, he and a few of his fellow slave warriors are invited to a banquet, where they are given some alcohol and to be playthings of any nobles who want them. One of them does not survive this but ML is lucky - heroine feels terrible and so “claims” him for herself. Instead she just tends to his wounds and sends him back. She does not fancy him or anything, she is just a human being with a conscience. And the story goes from there.

Demon King's Repayment - another delicious Gong Xinwen tale with a powerful ML dedicated to capable FL. This one is a great fantasy plot (I keep imagining it as an animated series) and a sprawling cast of amazing secondaries (and secondary OTPs - there is, I swear, an OTP that is Dong Hua x Feng Jiu done thru GXW lens) to boot.

Doomed to Be Cannon Fodder - I hesitated to put this one on the list because by the end I was not keen on how misogynistic novel got to original female lead but it was one of my earliest novels and I loved it for 90% and it’s fucking hilarious at times. Heroine transmigrates as bit villainess into a novel, all she wants is not to die, but her new attitude of “pls stay away” catches the attention of her terrifying general husband. Honestly, imo still worth it.

Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir - my n1 novel on this list, smart and fierce and don’t really read this for romance because it does not start until really late, but ice cold heroine x ice cold hero both of equal brains and ruthlessness is everything. I went from loathing the ML to finding him fascinating to adoring him (and yet he softened around the edges only for FL, he never became “nice”) and loved FL throughout; secondaries are epic. If you read only one non-danmei web novel, make it this one.

The Emperor’s Beloved Ugly Girl - my n2 novel on this list. Our heroine is the unlucky laundry maid A’Chou. She is a di daughter of an upperclass family but her family got destroyed in one of the political upheavals of the time and A’Chou, only a small child at the time, was the only survivor and was made an enslaved laundry maid. Due to various events, at the start of the novel she is a laundry maid in a minister’s household and the minister’s beloved daughter is having a fit because she’s supposed to marry the former Crown Prince which may have been great a few years back but Crown Prince had since been deposed, tortured, imprisoned and now is living in the middle of nowhere under conditions that are too meager to be called house arrest. And he’s seriously crippled too. Understandably, the young lady doesn’t want to marry him! She’d rather kill herself and so she does. And so, a desperate plan is hatched - why don’t we pretend the laundry maid is the di daughter of the minister’s household and send her off? And so A’Chu is sent as the bride. She arrives to discover a broke, seriously injured man on the verge of death…and we go from there. This is so gorgeous and tender and slow in just the right way and like AAAAAA! Secondary OTPs (one of which is MM) are also epic.

Futu Tower - the drama (Unchained Love) was a mess but the novel is such a lovely, dark exploration of coming back to life, for the ML from his dark revenge-strewn path and for heroine from not being allowed wishes of her own. She is a tribute bride, he’s a (fake) eunuch, they are both servants who use themselves to achieve goals and find peace and happiness together.

The Grand Princess - a tale where both members of the OTP reincarnate as their younger selves after killing each other in their 50s, and get a new start, this is smart and slow and so good in portraying old souls in young bodies. Their rediscovery of not just each other but themselves and their passion for living is just AAAAAA!

Heroine Saves Gentleman - Gong Xinwen novel so we have a tough martial artist lady saving a very upper class scholar and it goes from there. If elegant gorgeous ML being saved and protected (and lovingly dommed) by awesome FL is your bag, pls come right in.

Husband Be a Gentleman - schemer meet schemer. He’s an idle prince she’s perfect daughter, in reality both are wolves out for blood. Mmmm. Very OTP gets together early and is us against the world.

I’ll Be the Male Lead’s Sister in Law - one of my all time favorite novels. Heroine is made to marry a disabled nephew of the emperor. He used to be a victorious god of war but went mad and now is basically locked away and kept as a beast. GOD I LOVE THIS NOVEL SO MUCHHHHH! So much hurt/comfort and awesome OTP and after he eventually recovers, all he wants to do is to fight and murder things and dote on wifey. MMM. He’s honestly one of my fave MLs.

I Married a Disabled Tyrant After Transmigrating - if you have a Florence Nightingale complex, this is for you. Heroine wakes up as tribute bride to an almost dead dragon lord and slowly nurses him back to life as his rivals try to murder him. They are both utter adorable babies!

Let the Villain Go - another Gong Xinwen novel, this and Apocalypse Arrivals are AUs of each other. Heroine is surviving in the apocalypse, ML is the “bugbear” of the world but in reality just reacting to all abuse and torture and after she accidentally saves him, devotes himself. Fun fun fun!

Long Wind Crossing - Amazing ML and FL who grow together, clever plot, arranged marriage to love etc etc. Oh, and one point he feeds her his blood to keep her alive, what’s not to love? (Adapted into Chang Feng Du/Destined)

Lost You Forever - this is a short but delicately wistful tale of trauma and loss and love, wrapped in a high fantasy setting but so relatable despite it.

Love In Another Life: My Gentle Tyrant - so so fucked up in the best way! ML cannot live with OR without heroine. It opens on them banging in jail night before her execution (ordered by him) with corpses of men he killed for trying to defile her cooling nearby. If you want healthy relationships with respectful boundaries, gentle and considerate male leads who are modern men in period clothes, OP heroines who have everyone help them and are OP to the max, fluff and wholesomeness, that is about the worst book for you.If you want complexity, dysfunction, darkness, pain and an absolutely lyrical even if fucked up story, come right IN!!!!I am so fucking in love with the melancholy heroine, with ruthless psycho hero and the endless regret and devotion and paaaaain!

The Marquis Is Innocent - our heroine is a beautiful woman married to a warlord who hates her family. (Yes, this was gonna be The Prisoner of Beauty until SZE tax scandal.) Except she's a transmigrator from the future who knows how it ended last time around and has no interest to end up this tragically. This is in my top 5 - FL is smart but believably so (and doesn't have super battle powers) and ML is a believable period warlord. The way their relationship develops so gradually and the way his character changes so gradually as well (and the way they slowly fall in love, her slower than him) is just amazing. It is such a smart, nuanced, gorgeous slow burn. With some gonzo sex scenes :P

Mulberry Song - you like tragic endings? Come right IN! This is short and heartbreaking and wistful and very what-if.

Nightfall (Ever Night) - so long but also so smart and unusual and bloody and tho it’s not primarily a romance, you will never see another ML who loves his FL as much as Ning Que does his Sang Sang. 

Offering Salted Fish to Master - in some ways, this novel is a mess, but I am recommending it because this is a rare example of "nope he's 100% a villain and murderdude and odd, but he does love the heroine" that the author commits to.

Pihanjin - yet another awesome PLK novel, this is once again, like with Marquis, a ruthless man and a beautiful woman getting a second chance on a second go-around. FL is a lot more wounded this time around though. If you LOVE watching ML grovel and slowly, gradually win FL over, this one is for you.

Princess Agents - a dark tale with an incredibly competent and militarily powerful/ruthless heroine and two terrifying men who love her (but neither is as terrifying as she is.) There is an OTP switch halfway through that shockingly makes sense and it's just SO SO GOOOOOOOD

Rebirth of the Malicious Empress of Military Lineage - this is probably the one “typical” novel on this list, heroine is reborn as her youngest self and gets revenge on those who wronged her last time around. It is really really well-written and heroine is competent, hero is doting and powerful etc. It’s not a trope I tend to love but I do when it’s done THIS well.

Rebirth of the Tyrant’s Pet: Regent Prince is Too Fierce: Borgias cnovel style! Our heroine was empress in last life and put her husband on the throne tho he did not love her. However, he had her executed and had his half-brother carry out the orders and heroine died horrifically. She opens her eyes and she’s a little girl again. The OTP this time around is heroine and half-brother executioner. Why do I love it? Heroine is smart and tough but also this is a rare rebirth novel where heroine does NOT decide to seek revenge for past life wrongs because they haven’t happened yet! In fact, she sees ML abused and stands up for him because he’s a kid and no kid should be mistreated and this go around he hasn’t done anything wrong. She also gets and likes her former life husband. Anyway, this is fakecest galore because she’s supposed to be their half-sister and while she knows (from past life) she is not, they do not and fall for her anyway. ML is especially gonzo, at one point carving chunks of his flesh to save her. He’s feral and unhinged and she’s the one person he worships because she protected him and like - it’s all awesome. (I love secondary ML too.)

Reborn to Love Lord Qiansui - yes, this is a eunuch novel! If you like gender tropes reversals, this one is for you. Heroine is a tough martial artist, hero is a smart as hell and powerful eunuch. A real eunuch. Heroine finds out she owes him her life and decides to protect him. This is a total delight and an awesome love story between two really scarred people. And yes, there is sex - heroine literally reads manuals on pegging :P

Return of the Swallow - so freaking long! But really good. Heroine is neither transmigrator nor reincarnator, just a smart period woman. She is a lost family daughter taken back in. Her father is a minister in a dying empire (father-daughter relationship is one of the best things in this novel), her OTP is enemy general, and the smartness and the awesomeness of this all knows no bounds.

Seven Unfortunate Lifetimes - probably the wackiest JLFX novel I read, this is quite different from Love You Seven Times drama that was adapted from it. Our deity protagonists go through a bunch of lives figuring out they fancy each other. It's light like a souffle but just as delicious.

To Be a Virtuous Wife - some people prefer 8 treasures trousseau but I never warmed up to that one. This one is so good, with smart people (who actually enjoy sex, a ratity) and a perfect mix of plot and romance.

Transmigrator Meets Reincarnator - my very first web novel. A lot lighter than a lot of the ones on this list but a total delight. Heroine transmigrates into a novel as the heroine; she has no interest in drama or chasing true love, she just wants to live a nice life with her nice husband. Too bad for her, her husband has reincarnated into his younger self and remembers how she betrayed him, so is not interested. This one is funny and light and romance doesn’t start till late on but a total delight!

Wishing You Eternal Happiness - this is tied with Dreamer as my favorite het web novel ever though it couldn’t be more different from Dreamer, with its hard-edged and hard-souled protagonists ruthlessly cleaving their way to the world and, eventually, each other, its smart cynical air. Except in one thing - the world of Wishing is just as bloody and dark. Its two protagonists are gentle, deeply wounded souls who may find salvation in each other but even something as basic as safety almost seems out of reach.

Jliafu, our heroine, is neither a modern-day transmigrator, nor some exotic princess or demoness. She is very much a period woman of her time, from a weathy merchant clan, whose beauty is her curse. You can tell the novel’s tone from that utterly bleak opening chapter where she, a favorite concubine of a capricious dying emperor, is ordered to be buried alive with him and is not even given the “grace” of white silk but slowly suffocates in the coffin, scrabbling at the lid. There is no grand threats of vengeance on her part, not dramatic opera events. Just despair and death. The whole introductory chapter is haunted by emotional ghosts - the empress’ unrequited love for the monster on the imperial bed (turning into desire for Jiafu’s suffering after he dies), the emperor slowly dying in his prime after waging too many wars, and his fear of being haunted by Pei Youan, a brilliant if sickly minister who died of illness long ago on one of imperial campaigns. There is no triumph for anyone, only loss.

When she wakes up as still a young woman, all she wants is to escape the same fate. There are no plans for power or revenge, only a desire for survival. And so she latches on asking for help from Pei Youan, the only man in her past go-around who showed any consideration and desire and ability to protect her, though he barely knew her. Pei Youan is probably my favorite het web novel ML. Despite his brains and ability, he drifts through life. In modern terms, he clearly has depression. One of the biggest, best joys of the novel is watching these two very good, very quiet, very wounded people discover happiness and love with each other. I sort of want to cry just thinking about it, tbh.

The Yandere Came During the Night - a bit of fluff that’s oddly delightful. Heroine is reborn as a (fake) sister of ML, she hurts her legs saving him and the “siblings” form a bond that ends up in fakecest delight. They are both smart and efficient and he becomes a sexy marquis etc.

[dovveri]

what if nerd momo x bimbo reader author I need u

failing maths, but getting the girl

synopsis: momo and y/n have hated each other ever since an incident in first year. now, y/n's failing a class and momo offers to help.

warnings: mentions of blood and cuts, overbearing parents, drugs, implied sex

w/c: 4.0k

a/n: this is kinda funny for me bcs im blonde and my dad keeps making jokes in chinese about how im ltr a blonde bimbo now. anyway i combined these 2 reqs bcs im lazy forgive me anon/s

⋆｡°✎ᝰ ˎˊ˗

"y/n!"

you turn in the corridor, almost crashing into the burly man behind you who yells a "watch where you're going blondie!" before rushing off to a class he was probably late to.

you spot your friends who had called you, grinning and waving you over, "can't go one day on campus without running someone down can you?" a friend teases.

you pout, "i didn't walk into anyone yesterday!"

"no but you got stuck in the revolving door outside the chem building."

you whine at their teasing, you were a naturally clumsy person! sometimes you'd mix up salt and sugar, and sometimes you'd lose your car keys only to find them still in the ignition keyhole of your car from the last time you used it.

"so you coming to that party tonight? i heard some famous dj from the states is playing."

"awwh really?! i can't tonight i'm failing that dumb math class i have to take and i have a quiz tomorrow so i gotta study."

"you're failing everything y/n, what difference would one night make for you anyway?" a scoff from a student passing by, who you recognise as the infamous hirai momo from the back of her head and the evil way she sends a side-eye at you and your friend group in disgust.

"i wouldn't be if it weren't for your sad ass hirai!"

"stop looking at my ass and get your eyes on some books for once."

momo was meant to be your roommate in first year. although you had accidentally locked her out in the rain for 5 hours while you were hooking up with someone you can't remember the name of anymore. that was during orientation week, safe to say she was pissed and completely drenched when you finally let her in. she filed for a roommate change not long after, citing "poor etiquette and stupidity that could infect my genius", and being the university's most promising academic scholar, she pretty much got whatever she wanted. meaning she also got you assigned to the harshest tutors and markers as her own form of personal revenge, essentially making you fail most of your first year courses. which is why you were even taking this math class again.

the problem arose however, when you find out you would actually lose your scholarship if you failed another class. so failing was definitely not an option.

⋆｡°✎ᝰ ˎˊ˗

“you failed.”

“what!? but i studied all night! i even brought the right calculator model this time!”

“miss l/n, bringing the correct calculator doesn’t help you if you don’t know how to use it. and neither does studying all night if you haven’t been coming to class for most of the semester.”

you’re gaping at the professor in disbelief.

“i’m afraid you’ll lose your scholarship if you fail the upcoming final exam. take this as your final warning. good day miss l/n.”

the door is shut in your face while you're still left trying to process exactly what just happened, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish.

a familiar scoff behind you brings you back though, "what is y/n l/n doing here outside the staff meeting room? what? about to blow one of your professors for marks or something?"

you spin, stepping into her space, faces inches away from each other, "you jealous or something hirai? i'll blow you too if you beg."

you revel in the way her cheeks immediately flush, a slightly shaky finger pushing up the glasses on her nose as she looks away, "jokes on you l/n. i don't have a dick dimwit."

"you don't need one for me to make you feel good."

she's sputtering, moving around you quickly to escape, knocking on the staff door. you smirk, reveling in the slight win over her but immediately forgetting the feeling of triumph when you realise you're still fucked for your final in 2 weeks.

⋆｡°✎ᝰ ˎˊ˗

"y/n, you know i love you, but i cannot explain this again in any other way."

you groan, hands coming up to pull at your hair.

"but you got like a high affliction or something for this class last year! if you can't teach me i'm actually royally screwed, pleaseee?"

"it's high distinction sweetie. and just because someone's good at something doesn't mean they're a good teacher. sorry to break it to you but i couldn't teach my little cousins how to multiply fractions without wanting to commit homicide."

you wrinkle your nose, "gross dude they're literally related to you."

"no babes homicide means i wanted to kill them."

"oh... i guess that's better?"

"focus! c'mon you remember how to do the cross product right?"

"i don't get ittttttt!!!!!!! isn't that just multiplication? a times b equals ab!"

"this isn't algebra it's vectors. cross product isn't multiplication y/n."

you groan again, facepalming the desk in front of you.

your friend sighs, "sorry y/n i have to get going now. promised my boyfriend i'd go watch his game tonight."

"what?! you can't leave me here!"

your friend's already packing up their stuff though, "sorry! good luck with the studying though!"

you wail in goodbye, sitting up again and slapping your face a few times, trying to hype yourself up.

two minutes later, and you're still absolutely nowhere.

you decide to go out for a quick stroll rather than start a campfire in the middle of the library with all your papers. the evening breeze feels refreshing against your skin as you take in the sky. breathing in a deep sigh and closing your eyes briefly.

definitely the wrong idea when you crash headfirst into something that yelps a "what the fuck!" followed by the sound of smashing glass and a whine of pain.

your eyes are quick to open and you stare down at a bleeding hirai momo next to what looks to be a ruined 3D print of a final project or something.

"oh shit momo! are you okay?" you crouch down quickly, trying to collect the glass pieces that have broken, yelping when a piece digs into your skin.

"has all that bleach finally reached your brain y/n? who goes for broken glass with their bare hands?" she's frowning, rubbing her head a little and inspecting the cut across her arm.

"i-i'm sorry i-"

she sighs, "save it. i've had a long enough day as it is. being around you any longer is just gonna increase my chances of dying to some freak plane crash or something." she's standing up and brushing her hands off on her pants muttering to herself, "i'll have to call security to come clean this up."

you realise then that her eyes look a little puffier than usual, slightly tinged with red, the telltale signs of crying.

you suddenly feel terrible. whatever you had just broken seemed like an extremely intricate piece of work, and she was still bleeding down her arm but she didn't seem to pay it much mind, taking a phone out of her pocket and dialing security.

you step to the side and wait for her to finish talking on the phone. she doesn't realise you haven't left yet, swearing under her breath as she assess the damage once again.

when she turns and sees you again, she scowls, "what are you still doing here bimbo? don't you have a dick to ride or some jewelry to shine?"

you ignore her, blushing instead, "you're still bleeding."'

she looks surprised at that response, glancing at her arm again briefly and shrugging, "it's whatever. i'll clean it up later."

you wrap a hand around her wrist then, still not meeting her eyes, "let me? it'll be hard to bandage it properly with your left hand. and i kinda owe you for all of-" you gesture vaguely with your other hand at the ground, "this."

she's tugging her hand back quickly though, "don't bother. you'd probably make it worse. just go home y/n."

you sigh exasperatedly, "won't you just let me help! i feel bad okay? i can't just leave you here bleeding onto the concrete waiting for security to come clean this up."

she's surprised at your outburst, eyes locking onto yours and then nodding slightly. you don't let her rethink her decision as you drag her back inside the library, heading into the storeroom where you knew they had emergency first aid supplies.

you sit her down on the chair and rummage through the small kit for some alcohol wipes to clean the wound first.

she's eyeing you with a sort of caution, but is quick to clench her eyes shut and gasp at the first sting of disinfectant.

it's quiet for a bit while you work on cleaning her wound.

"where'd you learn first aid?" she speaks up first, eyes meting yours again.

"my little sister used to play around a lot with the rougher kids in the neighborhood. so she was always coming home with scratches and cuts and my mom was at work most of the time so i had to learn to take care of her myself."

momo hums, "guess that didn't really translate to taking care of yourself then huh? i mean with the way you're always tripping over air and stuff, you're more of a danger to yourself than a serial killer would be." there's no malice to her words this time, just lightly teasing you and you smile.

"i am sorry by the way. for breaking that. it looked like it'll be pretty hard to replicate."

"nah. i can just print another one tomorrow don't worry."

you both fall into silence again as you finish cleaning her wound, going to collect a few of the bandages to start wrapping around her arm.

you clear your throat a little awkwardly, "so... long day?"

she chuckles humorlessly in response, "something like that."

"wanna talk about it?"

she bristles then, and you're quick to correct yourself, "i mean you don't have to. just... making conversation."

it's quiet for a little longer and you're finishing wrapping her up, grabbing a small adhesive to stick it all together when she sighs. "sorry. just had a lot of pressure from back home lately. my parents keep wanting me to hurry up and graduate so i can go back to japan and take over the family companies. they called earlier saying how they're cutting off my funding for next year if i continue to drag out my studies."

"what? but you're only 23. don't you have like, things left you wanna do before you're all old and unable to move anymore?"

she giggles a little, its the first time you've heard that from her, "yeah tons actually. i've always wanted to see the northern lights and stay in one of those cute little igloos in finland, maybe go to antarctica and do some research there."

"okay! do that! what's stopping you?"

she smiles at you sadly, "my parents won't allow it. they'd disown me for not taking over their companies. and frankly, i'd be broke without them. i don't have the kind of money to keep living abroad like this if they were to stop supporting me."

you tilt your head a little in confusion, "can't you find a job?"

she's laughing then, a full, nose-scrunching laugh, "not with the classes i'm taking. i'd have to either take part-time study, which my parents would literally kill me for because it's 'embarassing' and would bring shame on our family name, or... never sleep again and take a night job or something."

you frown, sitting back on your heels.

"thanks for this by the way. you're still hurt though, do you want me to do you?"

"-and don't make a weird joke about that." she interrupts you before you can even open your mouth.

you pout, nodding a little as she laughs, and grabs the first aid box from you, gently placing your hand in her lap and cleaning your fingers.

you're caught by the way her eyebrows furrow a little in concentration, her teeth biting into her bottom lip slightly, and you can't help but think she looks cute.

you're brought quickly out of these alarming thoughts though, when she asks "how come you're in the library so late on a friday night anyway? never thought the day would come."

you groan, remembering the stack of math papers you have sitting on your desk, "i have to study for a math final coming next week. if i fail i lose my scholarship and i can't let my mom pay for any of this. she's already worked hard enough getting both my sister and me through school."

momo looks surprised at your admission, "oh. i'm sorry. i didn't know you were on scholarship."

you hum, "yeah most people don't assume it from looking at me." you tease a little, flipping your blonde hair over your shoulder and giving a little jingle of your bracelets.

"i'm not materialistic or anything but i enjoy having things that make me look nice y'know?"

she rolls her eyes, placing bandaids carefully onto your fingers.

"you don't need any of those things anyway."

you're caught again, unsure whether that was a compliment or some new way of torturing you.

she clears her throat, "all done."

you look at your hand, cutely littered with some winnie the pooh bandaids she must have found in the first aid kit.

you beam up at her, "thanks!"

she blushes a little and looks away from you, shyly rubbing the back of her neck, "hey look... i can help you study for that test next week if you want. don't want you losing your scholarship over something simple like that. plus i kinda helped go through all the first year math exams for some extra credit with the head of department."

you're shocked at first, and then jumping and squealing, bringing her up with you, "what?! you will?! oh my god thank you!!!!! holy shit oh my god i'm not gonna fail oh shit i'm-"

she's shooshing you in an instant though, a hand clamped over your mouth, eyes darting behind you, "y/n! we're still in a library!"

you grin when she lets you go, whispering loudly, "thank you!"

she's rolling her eyes and letting herself be dragged over to your table, praying that she didn't make the wrong decision deciding to help you.

⋆｡°✎ᝰ ˎˊ˗

momo's standing outside your lecture theatre, waiting for your class to end. you texted her saying you were getting your final results back today so she decided to pop by and make sure everything was okay.

once students start exiting the class she slips in, walking towards the professor who's packing up her stuff..

"momo! good to see you here. although i'm a little surprised. i wasn't expecting you."

"hey professor kwon. i'm just here to-"

momo's attacked from the back, you're squealing as you latch onto her excitedly, waving a test paper in front of her face, "i passed! momo look i passed! with a 62!!!!! that's higher than i've ever gotten!!!!!"

"miss l/n. i didn't know you knew momo." professor kwon is looking you up and down with a little distaste but you ignore it, squeezing momo even tighter in thanks.

"y/n- stop- wait lemme see that-" she snatches the paper out of your hand and scans it, eyes lighting up when she confirms you did in fact pass.

"congratulations! all that hard work really paid off."

you're blushing, "couldn't have done it without you hirai. c'mon, come out with my friends and i tonight to celebrate!"

"o-oh i don't know about that y/n... i've got-"

"study yeah yeah you always do. but you've gotta relax every now and then you know?"

"miss l/n is right momo. you're the most hardworking student here you should give yourself a break every now and then."

you're nodding fiercely, "right right! thanks professor kim!"

she looks at you with a glare, "kwon. its professor kwon miss l/n."

you're nodding, waving her off shaking momo, "c'mon pleaseeeeeeee? i'll pay for everything. as a thanks for helping me. and i can afford it now too since i won't be losing my scholarship which is also thanks to you so..!"

momo's still uncertain, hand at the back of her neck again, a nervous tick you've picked up on.

"oh professor i just remembered!" you're switching back to your professor, excitement and attention everywhere, "you were looking for outstanding students to tutor next semester right? how about momo? she's the only reason i passed this final and trust me when i say i'm a pretty difficult student to teach."

"oh?" the professor looks towards momo who's eyes have widened, "i had actually planned on asking you regardless but seeing as you were very successful with miss l/n it's just even more proof that you'd be a great teacher. what do you say momo? it's paid decently and great on your academic and work transcripts as well..."

you're looking between your professor and momo with full eyes.

momo looks like she's about to reject the offer, you knew it was because her parents expected her to be back in japan next year but you stop her before she's able to say anything.

"momo! this is great! this is exactly what you need! a job while you're still at uni so you can study at any time but still get paid for it!"

"y/n..."

"it's okay momo. think about it and let me know if you're interested and you've got the job 100%. i've got to get going to my next class now but goodbye girls, congratulations miss l/n but i hope i won't be seeing you in my class next year."

"oh definitely not professor kim!" you wave enthusiastically, giggling at the way the professor sighs in defeat.

you look back at momo who still looks a little stunned.

"well? what do you think?" you ask her excitedly.

"i- i don't know... there's a lot to think about..."

you tilt your head to the side a little in confusion, a gesture momo was beginning to grow fond of.

"i can't just abandon my family y/n. it's a decision that will take me some time to go over." she smiles at you gently, you can't believe this was the same girl who used to call you mean words and intentionally pray on your downfall.

"mm okay. i don't really get it but as long as you're happy in the end it doesn't matter. now c'mon! you coming tonight or not?"

she sighs fondly, "yeah yeah just this once. and we better be home by 12!"

you're pulling her along again scoffing, "riiiiiiiiight 12pm maybe."

"y/n!"

⋆｡°✎ᝰ ˎˊ˗

momo was most definitely out of her comfort zone. she mostly stuck to the bar, avoiding eye contact with people who tried to approach her. she quickly ordered another drink, hoping the alcohol could at least ease her nerves.

you were most definitely in your zone. you adored being able to dress up and let loose, especially when everyone else is so drunk you’re no longer the only person falling over themselves. you could laugh a little and have fun as well.

you could feel momo’s eyes on you and you ached to drag her out onto the dance floor and join you but she was adamant on staying by the bar when you had tried.

you’re not sure if it was the alcohol or maybe you were just attracted to her now after you’ve spent a whole week studying with her pretty much every minute of every day. but she looked good. you licked your lips as your eyes trailed down the slant of her jawline, her neck and clavicles outlined in the halter top she was sporting. your eyes politely moved past her chest but darted straight down to the abs that she apparently had hidden from the entire student body. how did she even have time to have abs when she always had her nose in a book or was in a lab conducting experiments?

you snap out of it when you realise said abs were moving closer to you for some reason, and suddenly she's all in your space, shoving someone behind you that you hadn't even realised was there in your momo-induced daze.

you turn to see a man with half his shirt unbuttoned and a look of surprise on his face. "the fuck dude?"

momo says nothing, reaching for your drink instead, sticking a finger in and swirling it around for 2 seconds before bringing it to her lips.

that was hot.

"rohypnol."

"what? what the fuck are you on about?" the guy is annoyed, drawing the attention of bystanders as they create a small circle around the three of you, you spot your friends in the crowd looking at you in confusion silently asking what's going on?

you can only shake your head, attention moving back to momo who's standing up straight, almost chest to chest with the guy now.

"rohypnol. a drug belonging to the benzodiazepine class of drugs that inhibits the central nervous system causing the user to experience extreme drowsiness and even blackout in some cases. it can also cause the user memory loss and brings the user to a higher state of intoxication in a rapid amount of time. it's street name is roofies."

the man is sputtering now, "w-what? what is this bullshit? what are you tryna say huh?"

"that you tried to roofie my friend here. do you want me to call the police? have them check this drink for traces of the drug?"

"what!? the fuck?!"

momo sighs, her eyes closing for a second, "is your vocabulary only limited to what? and the fuck? it's getting tiring talking to you."

he's gaping like a fish, the people surrounding you have called security over and they're tying his hands behind his back and he's left squirming against them, yelling more curses as momo stands stoically, watching him get taken away.

she sighs when he's out of sight and turns to you with a smile, "you should be more careful. you could've been hurt tonight."

you can't even think straight and the music is being turned back up, and momo looks so good, you can't help the way you're pulling her in by the waist and planting your lips on hers.

she makes a sound of surprise and is shocked for a second, but closes her eyes and returns the kiss, maneuvering you a little so she can place the spiked drink on a nearby table before her hand returns to you, one hand cupping your cheek, the other on your shoulder.

you're a little desperate when you claw at her abs that are now within touching distance, and she giggles into the kiss. you mutter a small shut up, reattaching your lips, feeling all the adrenaline of the night pumping through you as you mould yourself against her.

"god is it weird that- that kinda turned me on a little?" you're speaking between breaths, her lips swallowing up your words, not letting you catch a break.

she hums lightly against you, "which part?"

"the- when you were talking- about all those chemicals- and whatever-"

she breaks away from you then, an eyebrow arched and a hint of a smirk on her face, "you get off on me talking nerdy?"

you want to wipe that smirk off her face. "take me home and i'll show you what i get off on."

her eyes darken considerably, and she's tugging you towards the exit, grabbing the spiked drink and pouring it down the drain first to make sure no one drinks it. the little action of consideration even when you're both overwhelmed with lust just gets you more wet.

you send a quick text to your friends saying you had to leave early, and then you're in a cab, lips on each other's again, hands roaming and exploring every inch of available skin.

you suppose the one good thing out of that math exam was it bringing the two of you together at last.

[kremlin]

i figure most human behaviour that, not only doesn’t occur in other animals but has zero connection to animal behavior is basically distantly rooted in the known fear of inevitable death. let me be clear. cats and shit don’t know they’re gonna die. we do. we have thoughts. we know it’s coming. we think we’re gonna be rich, bullshit like that, most humans believe in magic and most humans doubt that math is a universal or consistent thing. total nonsense right. but everyone knows their ass is gonna die. before you write me off as some dumbass reciting basic 101 level university lectures just Trust Me I’m An Engineer. anyways. being human and dying are somewhat one in the same.

“if i do nonhuman things i can cheat the reaper.” short and sweet. if i can beat zelda faster than anyone i can outrun the reaper. and you know what, fuck it, i’m scared shitless of dying. it’s gonna hurt really bad no doubt. what if the brain destroyal process makes time slow down in my perception and it’s not just like five seconds of bleeding out or fire ant bites or however you go. Scary. so i’ll play along:

i am an average american man and i enjoy bad game runescape. it’s a computer game. MMO. kill monster get loot. sell what i don’t want to other players for gold. spamming chat with “SELLING BOWSTRINGS 200gp” for an hour “sucks” so the devs add a grand exchange where you can post buy/sell orders for a given item+price to maximize gameplay efficiency and minimize social interaction.

like any other MMO you can pay some sketchy website real money for ingame gold farmer by chinese gold farmers. totally against the rules. remember this

so the first thing that comes to any male aged 23-27 mind is “buy low sell high” basic bitch shit. no good. there’s a 5% tax that’ll wipe out your profit margin intended to eliminate this behavior (you’re supposed to friggen kill monsters). but everyone thinks they’re a genius and can beat the system and that there is a secret george soros style illuminati group that is holding the secrets, blah blah blah, whatever, and this comes as a coping mechanism after losing your shirt after trying to beat the market (success rate of 0%).

here is where people mostly quit thinking: if you do the math, which takes about ten minutes and can be done on one side of a sheet of paper with the most basic calculator, it’s easy to figure out that the amount of gold you’d need to play dirty (buy out all the available Feathers or Fire Runes or whatever) in order to corner the market would be so high that there is no possible way for a character to hold that much without having spent IRL money for gold. you’d get autobanned.

SO..finally, go on the ol’ www.reddit.com, and make a really really professional-to-professional sounding post advertising a “service”. Saturate the fuck out of it with dense but very real financial jargon. the “service” (which needs to be obscured enough with plausible and relevant language) is a hedging service aimed at make-believe market players who are buying and selling such huge amounts of items and gold (usually in anticipation of a game update that will speculatively introduce a sudden, dramatic, and capitalizable price change for some item). you need it to be as alien-sounding and foreign as possible but with enough believability and clarity that a handful of reddit jackasses will figure out what the fuck your post is about. whenever pressed further, act totally puzzled and make it very clear that this is not a service relevant to “individual entertainment-motivated” players or some shit. no matter what amount of gold anyone quotes at you, just act puzzled and if that amount is 1/1000th the amount one of your “normal” clients deal with. you need to do all of this extremely artfully. and by “you”, i’ve been meaning to write “me”. really lay it on thick that whatever you’re “doing” is totally unavailable to them and that you want zero to do with them.

so now theyre still mostly totally confused but enough is made clear that their interest is piqued. got my hook in em. some guy will copy/paste wikipedia shit in an obnoxiously long and pseudointellectual, contemptible but characteristically reddit guy style what you’re “selling” actually is in the most exhausting, hand-holdingest way to his fellow reddit gamers. with complete tone of authority.

inevitably one of them will put on their sherlock holmes hat and go deep undercover, emailing me posing as an interested party. bingo. now i get to really lay on the WTF and go off the rails asking about vouchers from One Of The Big Seven, but oh no, you can’t get one of them to vouch for you, that’s fine, it makes sense, we’re the only firm that deals with unvouched, that’s our market, well, one of them at least. Just give me a rough rundown of your entry criteria, dwell time, risk tolerance, fuckin “Gamma Ratio”, you know, all the basic stuff, and i’ll have the team generate a .xlsx for you to plug your data into to get a rough feel for what the final contract might be like.

(lololol) But REMEMBER, that excel sheet is seeded, output is fuzzed and salted and if you share it or try and sell it to our competitors, it will be fuzzy enough to be worthless to them but obvious to us who leaked what. this is the only way we’re able to integrate unvouched clients without untenable premiums and while managing our risk levels

blah blah blah blah, i go on and on and on and the guy on the other end is developing a scab from constant head-scratching. and that’s about the maximum real-world harm i’m willing to inflict. i know this sounds like an elaborate as fuck confidence scam but it isn’t. that shit makes me sick. i’d literally slam my arms in a car door before taking a cent from all this. hell, i’ll go out of my way to guarantee i don’t even piss anyone off or offend them or anything.

your guess is as good as mine but i do stuff like this constantly for anything i know well enough and the example i gave above is just a pretty low quality one i made up on the spot. this is a public blog after all.

anyways, cheers, hoping this saves me from dying or whatever the hell i was talking about before that could have probably been cut out. Namaste. Mahala.

[jadeddangel]

Feel free to ignore this request if you want! But basically Adam and reader being pretty good friends who are casual with each other, have a similar sense of humor and personality, reader is a older sibling figure to many of the other angels, and him just beginning to actually gain feelings for them

Eeee I'm so excited!! Thank you for requesting!!

Adam x reader

"Can't believe I'm falling in love with such a cocky bitch"

You and Adam knew eachother since the beginning of time, and having known eachother that long you started to rub off on eachother. You both had similar humor and jokes the only difference was, was that you knew how to act politely, Adam did not.

You worked as a welcoming angel for new souls and angels of the like, showing them around and getting them set up in a home was just one of your many jobs. You worked closely with percious but you didn't like him, he was kind of a cunt when he wasn't around other people. You were on your lunch break sitting at a high table on a chair swinging your legs happily, you had gotten a milkshake and some fries. Adam snuck up behind you grabbing your sides suddenly, "hah! gotcha bitch!" Adam laughed. You had went to hit him at first but started laughing with him when you realized who it was, "adam!! You bitch come sit! I haven't seen you all week bro" you pointed to the seat across from you.

You couldn't even remember who had started the tradition of sneaking up on each other, but it just stuck, and Adam never failed to sneak up on you. Adam and you talked about your week together making small jokes as you ended up sharing your fries and milkshake with him. "And then she's over here hitting on the drummer, like, you think you want drummer dick? Nah, do you know who I am? I'm fucking Adam, I'm the original dick!" Adam recited the story to you as you started snort laughing. "Well it can't be that good if she wanted drummer dick!" You said between laughing as you hit your thigh loosing your shit over your own joke. "Hey!! My dick is fine thank you very much!" Adam huffed defensively before joining in your laughter. It took you both forever to catch your breath and stop.

Adam grabbed the last fry and ate it "Alright sugartits I've gotta go danger tits is waiting for me, but hey! I'll swing by your place with some Chinese food. Sound good?" Adam looked at you with hopeful eyes. You chuckled "sure thing dickmaster I'll see ya then" you said playfully giving him a sweet smile. Adam went to get you a hug but paused and patted you on the head awkwardly instead before speeding off to go find lute.

You were a bit confused but expected it from Adam, well atleast you were learning to Adam had been acting weird.. you thought that it would be all fixed up after mating week, but he was still just as weird as before.

You ended up getting an early day off since Emily took over welcoming souls for a bit to help. "Calm her energy down." In Sera's words, at least. You picked up your place, finally dishes and other chores you were behind on. You got a movie picked for tonight and some beer and sodas for you and Adam.

Adam finally came by your place after dark with a bag of Chinese food and a bag of clothes for him to change into assuming he was staying over. Adam knocked on the door rhythmically as he waited, you opened the door after a moment or so in some sleep shorts and one of Adam's band t-shirts(I keep forgetting Adam has a band bro).

"Woah, is that Adam without lute on his shoulder like a little parrot?" You teased letting the man in. Adam took his helmet off and rolled his eyes, "I'm not bringing my second in command to your house to hang out." Now that that was weird, Adam never responded that way to that joke, "bro, you good? What happened that got you all pissy? Are you on your man period or sum?" You asked concerned but still trying to make it a joke. Adam sighed "nah just a lot on my mind. There's this chick -" "ooooo does the Adam have a crush?" Who's the lucky bitch huh? " You cut him off plopping on your couch and turning your head so Adam could change(like you weren't just watching him in the reflection of the tv). Adam sighed and got changed into comfy clothes, "yea it's fucking weird though I mean she wouldn't leave my mind during mating week and ugh I get so awkward around her" Adam groaned laying on the couch with his head in you thighs. "Shit Adam do you actually like this chick? Or do you just wanna fuck her? Orrrr was the pussy that good that you want more?" You teased playing with Adam's hair carefully. Adam shook his head "I think I like her I mean I've known her for awhile and she just gets me yknow?" Adam said tilting his head a bit to look at you before changing his mind and grabbing the remote looking through Aisney(angel disney) and putting on the live action of "the jungle dude" (the jungle book).

You took a moment to think, it hurt, the thought of Adam falling in love with someone else after sharing so much. "Just think about your heart before you brain Adam, think about your feelings, maybe you should tell her I mean it can't hurt too bad, and I mean if your friends I'm sure she feels the same... and you guys can just be together, yknow.." You slowly got quieter and quieter, feeling like if you were any louder, you were gonna cry your eyes out.

Adam nodded a bit. "What would you do in my situation?" Adam asked under his breath, yet you still heard him. You took a deep breath "Adam I...." Your words got caught in your throat as you looked down at him looking guilty. Adam tilted his head to look at you confused at the look. "What's with the look sugar tits? You look like I'm about to cry, did I say sum?" Adam asked genuinely concerned for you. It made your heart melt knowing he cared for you so much, it made your heart melt so much in fact that before your brain registered what you were doing you had leaned down and trapped his lips in a kiss. The angle wasn't comfortable, and your spine was bent weird, but God was it worth it, feeling how soft his lips were. Adam froze for a moment before melting into it, licking along your bottom lip, teasing you a bit. After a moment of you both continuing to kiss each other, you both pulled away for air a small string of salive connecting you and breaking after you moved too far away. You were panting a bit but didn't go too far from his face. "That's what I'd do.. " you whispered softly, your lips barely brushing against Adam's. Adam reached up and put a had on your cheek "you wanna know something sugar tits? I think I would do the same.." Adam smiled as he locked your lips together in a passionate kiss pulling away after a few moments.

Adam smiled and sat up next to you , allowing you to straighten your back properly. Adam chuckled " awwe you hunched just to kiss me sugar tits? I'm honored" Adam joked. You rolled your eyes "yea yea whatever dickmaster now do you wanna cuddle up and eat while we watch a movie or do we wanna talk about what well we are first?" You tilted you head a bit. Adam was already reaching for the bag when you brought it up. "What do you mean what we are? I thought that kiss established it, I'm yours and your mine" Adam spoke almost boredly. You could feel the blush creep up on your face " your gonna be one heck of a boyfriend " you laughed.

The rest of the evening was relaxed as you cuddled and ate together. Before falling asleep together on your couch, hoping everything would be perfect with you both together

[lemonlyman-dotcom]

Found Family Fic Recs! [You can find previous fic recs here 🍋]

Sharing some of my favorite Found Family & Marjan & Paul fics as part of this week’s @lonestar-s5countdown Found Family theme

Links in a chain by Aryn - Six times Carlos bonded with members of the 126 on his own, and one time TK saw it for himself

Ride or Die by @tailoredshirt - Post 3x10, Paul and Marjan have a heart-to-heart while they’re stuck in a vehicle after a major car accident.

they say you're holding onto heartache by sunfIowers - After the visit to the cardiologist, and after his fight with Marjan, Paul can't stop thinking about his heart.

You Have the Right to Remain Silent (But I Know You Won't) by @chicgeekgirl89 - Seven times Carlos has to deal with his friends as an officer and one time he's on the other side of things.

126 Final Girls (aka Summer Slasher Fic) by @ladytessa74 - The 126 crew (plus Carlos) take a much-needed vacation to a secluded lakeside cabin. Carlos and TK have been distant lately, Marjan's sister has been getting on her nerves, and they've had a difficult callout that left them dejected and blaming themselves, so they're looking forward to spending the last long weekend of the summer swimming, relaxing and playing Catan. But a killer lurks outside and they have to use their combined wits to survive.

Goodnight My Love by @noxsoulmate - TK would’ve never thought that a little gif could make such waves. But apparently, he was wrong – if only someone would tell him what the Chinese letters in that gif mean so he knows why his boyfriend (and everyone else) is so amused.

Ten Digits Away by Dekka - In a moment of need, TK remembers he has a team of people who love him and are willing to help him through a rough night.

Carry You by @marjansmarwani - One moment you were searching a house with your friend, looking for a missing kid, and then the next everything went wrong. Things could turn from routine to disastrous in an instant and what side of the disaster you were on simply depended on luck and the whim of the universe. Today, it was in Mateo’s favor. The same could not be said for TK.

lead me somewhere i've never been by terramous - TK didn’t realise he could miss carpet. That was until he stepped out onto the rink and his feet immediately started sliding. In a panic, he steadied himself by clinging to the wall of the rink…Marjan teaches TK how to roller skate. Or she tries to.

Lunch with Lou by @doublel27 - TK brings Lou I into the firehouse after he's been cleared and the rest of the 126 has comments.

in uncertain terms by @iinryer - after salim, marjan gets hurt on a call. when the recovery time leaves her with a little too much room to think, realizations ensue…a story about self discovery, acceptance, family in friendship, and letting yourself be uncertain. aka: the marjan manifesto

Tagging some folks in to make some recommendations of their own if they’d like: @thisbuildinghasfeelings @ladytessa74 @carlos-in-glasses @emsprovisions @eclectic-sassycoweyes @alrightbuckaroo @bonheur-cafe @chicgeekgirl89 @decafdino @certifiedflower @guardian-angle22 @goldenskykaysani @herefortarlos @just-inside-her @firstprince-history-huh @kiwichaeng @literateowl @messymindofmine @never-blooms @reeeallygood @she-walked-away @whatsintheboxmh

[pablitogavii]

Heyy can u do something about gavi's ear because of the match ? like the reader takes care of him something like that please 💗

Quiet times together

When you saw the video of Pablo's bleeding ear on the overhead TV, you really freaked out getting off the chair in the box and peeking through the window to see the doctor cleaning up hi wound.

"I can't believe that wasn't a red card!" your friend said but you could really care less about any of that praying that Pablo isn't seriously hurt.

When the game was over, you couldn't wait to see him very nervous to look at his new injury. When he finished his interviews, he came to the family room and you rushed to give him a quick hug.

"No..no..don't cry princesa! We won and I'm gonna be okay!" he said holding your face and drying your tears but your eyes were glued on his stapled ear and dried blood around it.

"I got really scared Pablo!" you say and he smiled pulling you closer and kissing the top of your head lovingly.

When you pulled away and he took you to grab his clothes together, team doctor called you to say about possible sensitivity Pablo might feel for a couple of days after the pain medication he took stops working.

"Avoid any loud places for at least a week. You might feel a little dizzy if you push against your sensitivity" man explained and you took in every word promising yourself that Pablo will take it easy no matter what he says.

"Thanks doc! Ready for our date princesa??" Pablo said after grabbing his bag and you remembered the restaurant date you planned before the game this morning.

"There will be live music there Pablo, and I don't think we should do it..we can have takeout at home instead?" you suggest which of course made him whine and say how he wanted to treat you.

"And you will treat me..we are going to get comfortable and order our favorite Chinese food and watch some goofy movie together?" you say placing your hand on his face careful not to touch his wound and he smiled nodding his head while kissing your lips lovingly.

"And cuddles???" he asks adorably which made his friends tease him as they passed us but he didn't care at all. I pointed kissing his lips once more time while nodding my head.

"All the cuddles you can take mi valiente ganador!" you say and he giggled nodding his head while taking your hand walking towards the cars where you left with your friend and he took the bus with his teammates.

"Please make sure he wears these on silent mode while at the bus if it gets loud?" you said to Balde who promised on his life to take care of your boy all the way back home to Barcelona.

"There is nothing to worry about princesita mia" Pablo kissed your lips one more time before you two went separate ways but no matter what you will always worry about his health.

When you arrived home, the pain medication definitely stopped working since even your little louder greeting made his face cringe in pain. You puled him closer whispering a soft apology while kissing the side of his temple.

"I ordered the food amor. And made sure TV is on the lowest volume for the move..you want to shower?" you say and he nods clearly in a lot of pain and your heart hurt to see him like that.

When he got comfortable sitting on the sofa with your, the loud ring-bell made you both jump and him cover both of his ears in pain.

"Mierda! I got it amor! I'm so sorry!" you say but he whispers that it's alright as you went and grabbed the food from the delivery guy.

"I'm sorry we didn't go on our date amor.." Pablo was whispering while eating some rice and chicken and you smiled moving closer and kissing his shoulder.

"Don't worry about it..I would much rather be here with you anyway and I love taking care of you" you say and he blushed a little yawning and even a slight pull on the stitches made his wound sour.

"Could I lay on your chest tonight?" he asks and you smile widely nodding your head before taking his hand and walking to the bedroom seeing that he was done with his food anyways.

You both laid down and he laid his head on your chest while you placed your hand on his face caressing it gently while kissing the side of his sour temple. He smiled closing his eyes feeling so good that he didn't care about the pain coming from his ear. He nuzzled his head into your neck and completely relaxed. (gif).

"It's buzzing amooor.." Pablo whined and you told him to focus on the sound of your heartbeat instead and to try to get some well deserved rest tonight.

"Talk to me...I like listening to your voice princesa" he says and you blush a little thinking of things to say to the sleepy boy.

"I was so proud of you today Pablito..you wouldn't give up no matter what..you went back into the game and you played till the end. You're the strongest man I've ever met..my strongest man" you whisper and he listened carefully blushing at the compliment and holding onto your tightly while slowly becoming more sleepy.

"And I love you..su much cariño. Whenever I see you get hurt my heart hurts..and I just want to hold you in my arms and protect you from everything..because..you..are..my..life" you say feeling yourself getting emotional and Pablo looked up kissing your lips softly before laying back down on your chest.

"I love you too preciosa..more than I've ever loved anybody..mi vida" he spoke sleepily before finally slipping into unconsciousness and you smiled kissing the top of his head continuing to play with his hair until you also grew tired and fell asleep holding him in your arms.

y.n.bebe

Barcelona, Spain

I'm not letting anybody hurt you mi bebé ❤️ tagged: pablogavi

comentarios:

pablogavi: gracias por todo amore mio ❤️❤️

y.n.bebe: siempre amorcito❤️❤️

gaviraafanzz: omg! she's so cute! take good care of him girl!!

barcafanclubs: clown for not giving that guy a red card!

fcbarcelona: our warrior.❤️

pablogavi: ❤️

pedri: come back stronger hermanito mio!

pablogavi: si hermano!

mikkykiemeney: so cute! 🥰

y.n.bebe: 😊

aurorapaezg: ❤️

y.n.bebe:❤️❤️

He is a true warrior! What STRENGHT, LOVE and DEDICATION for the club! That's our GAVI! ❤️❤️❤️

[inkedroplets]

Supercorptober 2023 Day 4: Money

Read here on AO3

"Isn't that romantic?"

"What is?" Kara asked, so focused on her article that she didn’t look up from her computer until Nia gave her a little nudge on her shoulder. 

"That," Nia said, dropping her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. She pointed surreptitiously to the man who had just stepped out of the elevator holding a modest bouquet of both white and red roses. He walked with purpose towards the desk cluster reserved for CatCo's revolving door of interns, his sights trained on the brunette whom Kara had seen earlier in the day being taught the ins and outs of the copier with a look of deep concentration on her face. 

He did his best to hide the flowers behind his back before he approached for all the good that it did him because it seemed that she had caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye before he could surprise her.

She goggled at him, clearly not expecting the visit but when he produced the flowers from behind his back a little shyly, she beamed at him and leaped out of her chair with enough force to nearly bowl him over.

“That is sweet,” Kara said. She smiled, feeling happy for them even though she didn’t know them. “And who knows," Kara said and glanced towards Andrea's office. "If she snags the junior reporter job he might be delivering flowers to her very own office someday."

Maybe,” Nia said, but Kara could tell from her voice that she believed such an outcome was a long shot. A fair assessment considering how picky Andrea could be. And with only one open junior reporter position up for grabs it meant that competition would be nothing short of intense. “He’d probably want to spring for a bigger bouquet for just such an occasion.  Nia smiled and snuck one more look at the happy couple before she glanced back towards Andrea’s office. “I should get back to work before Andrea comes out and makes an example out of me in front of the interns.” She rapped her knuckles on the side of Kara’s desk and set off back to her own

“He could always fill her office with flowers,” Kara suggested before Nia got too far away that she had to raise her voice. She did so almost absentmindedly, her focus had already shifted back to her article.

"Now that would be romantic,” Nia said as she kept walking. “But I don’t want to even think about how expensive that would be,” she called over her shoulder.

Would it be romantic? The answer seemed obvious but still, Kara found herself pondering the question intently while she tried to return to work. As if she didn't like the very obvious answer staring her in the face. Of course, it would be romantic. 

So my office is overflowing with flowers…

That much was obvious. If a single bouquet was romantic, surely several dozen more than even that would be considered romantic. Looking at it in such an overly logical (and paradoxically illogical) way, Kara couldn't help but think of Brainy, believing he might try and break down the problem in a similar fashion.

But as distracting as the question was, it was Nia’s last comment that Kara found herself dwelling on long after she had left work. How expensive was it to fill an office with flowers? It sounded like the kind of esoteric problem you might see crop up on a particularly finicky math test. Because it wasn’t just the sheer quantity of flowers that would factor in, as well. There was also the unusualness of the request to consider. Not many flower shops would even be able to fulfill such a request, no matter how much they might like to. 

She puzzled over the question while she ate dinner alone. Leftover takeout from her favorite Chinese place. As she chewed she made a couple of rough estimates. Tried to recall just how many flowers there had been in her office that day… She remembered that stepping into her office had momentarily taken her breath away. It had been like stepping into a fairytale and how she had never even tried to count them. It would have felt too much like trying to figure out how a magic trick was done. It would rob it of something essential, something beautiful.

Had she really never asked herself that before? It felt strange to think that it had only just now occurred to her. Both the enormity of the gesture and how much something like that must have cost. Maybe because she hadn’t wanted to?

She speared a potsticker on the end of her chopsticks and chewed it without really tasting it. It wasn’t just the flowers though.  There was the little matter of CatCo itself… What did it mean when your best friend bought you a company? But she already knew what it meant. A part of her had always known. It might have been the utter shock she had felt upon first hearing the news that had kept her from realizing it. Maybe it was Lena’s insistence that her buying CatCo was merely a business decision that she fully intended to make the most of even when Kara could see in her eyes it was so much more than that. Or maybe it was the simple fact that she was too afraid of what it might mean.

She had come within a hair's breadth of finally admitting it when Lena had sold CatCo to Andrea. When Lena had freely confessed just why she had bought the company. But then things hadn’t gone crashing down around them soon after that and the truth staring her in the face had been all too easy to ignore. 

But what was stopping her now? When things between them had never been better? The answer came to Kara at once. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Save for however long it would take her to fly to Lena's penthouse and maybe a few stops along the way… 

Kara shouldn't have been surprised that Lena's penthouse was empty when she flew past. Not when Lena spent most of her nights working well into the night. Usually that would have bothered her. But not tonight. Tonight it felt right. It offered a kind of harmony that they might look back on fondly…

She touched down on the balcony and realized that she was already smiling when she saw Lena sitting at her desk. Whatever she was working on had her full attention and it allowed Kara to cross the balcony without Lena noticing. She knocked twice and when Lena looked up from her work she did so with a knowing smile on her face.

"How did you know it was me?" Kara asked when Lena opened the balcony door.

"I had a feeling," Lena said, stepping aside to let Kara inside. "And the list of people I know that can enter through my balcony starts and ends with you. Is everything okay?"

"Everything's great. I just hope I'm not interrupting you."

Lena shook her head and it was only then that Kara realized she had taken off her heels, the difference in their heights a little more noticeable. "I was just about ready to call it a night." She waved a hand at her computer. "I could work through the morning and I'd still have plenty of work left to do. Might as well get a few hours of sleep before I do it all over again." she joked.

"You shouldn't work so late," Kara insisted.

"Look who's talking," Lena said but nodded a bit apologetically. "I'll take a day off soon," she promised. "We can do brunch," she suggested with a smile. "My treat."

"It's always your treat," Kara said and knew that there would be no better opening than now. "And even when it's not you always know how to distract me when the waiter comes by with our bill so that you can grab it first. How do you do that?"

Lena grinned. "You're not the only one with superpowers," she joked.

"You spend too much on me," Kara said softly.

"Well, you do eat a lot," Lena said, still grinning although it started to fade when she saw that Kara hadn't joined her.

"You filled my office with flowers," Kara said. "I have no idea how much that must have cost you. I still remember how magical it looked. It was like stepping into the Land of Oz. So much color. It's one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me, Lena."

"Kara..." Lena said, starting to blush. "You already thanked me for that ages ago. You don't have to do it again."

"I want to. You... You bought CatCo for me." She pursed her lips, feeling a tightness in her throat. "I never... I never really thanked you properly for that. How could I ever thank you for something like that?"

"Kara," Lena said, a little sternly, her cheeks now aflame. "It was n—"

"Don't say it was nothing," Kara pleaded. She shook her head and brushed at her eyes. Please don't say that. Don't try and diminish it when it means the world to me."

Lena nodded slowly and Kara could hear her heart beating a little faster, nearly keeping time with her own. "CatCo was important to you," Lena explained. "And I..." She took a breath and let it out slowly, looking everywhere but back at Kara. "I just like when you're happy," she said softly.

"I know," Kara murmured. "I feel the same way."

"Is that what you came all the over here to talk to me about?" Lena asked, and Kara could feel her trying to inject a little levity back into their conversation.

"Not exactly. Can you close your eyes for a second? Just one," Kara said, holding up her index finger to hammer home the point.

For a moment, Kara saw the polite curiosity on Lena's face and wondered if she might try and ask what for but when their eyes met, a small smile pulled at Lena's mouth and she shut her eyes.

"You can open them now," Kara said, looking the tiniest bit windswept.

"Oh my God..." There was a sharp intake of breath and Lena reached for Kara's arm as if she suddenly needed it to keep her balance. But when she clasped her wrist it was with a featherlight touch. "Kara, how did you?" she began to say but fell silent before she could finish her question. "It's beautiful," she said a little while later after she had taken in every inch of her office as if trying to commit it to memory, and for all Kara knew she was. "Like magic," she said and looked at Kara sideways and even that was enough to make Kara blush a little.

I bet it does look like magic, Kara thought. When Lena had closed her eyes her office had looked as it almost always did, fastidiously neat, the kind of mental image one might think up when imagining an office in a sprawling high-rise. When she opened them again her office was bursting with plumerias. Sprays of color in delicate shades of pink and white, vibrant yellow and blue as well as deep red and orange. And she still had one last trick up her sleeve... She reached behind her back in an obvious way to draw Lena's eye and pulled a bouquet from behind her back that she offered to Lena a bit timidly considering she had just filled her office with flowers.

[dreamcatchers-husband]

Don't Give In

Male Reader X Dreamcatcher Handong

Length: 2200 words

Tags: Quckie, Creampie

A/n- BFH because of this photo. She really wanted to kill us.

Don’t give in, don’t give in, don’t give in”. These three words repeatedly went through your mind every day at work. Weird, right? Why would you keep telling yourself that? Well, the glare a certain pink-haired Chinese woman was giving you caused it. 

When you picked up the girls early, they all seemed quite mellow. Sure, being 5 am probably does that but you were a bit surprised. The drive was quite boring to the remote location but once you hopped out, it all began. 

Reaching the side door, each of the girls began to hop out and say their thanks. With the final lady exiting, a sudden grab on your crotch made you jolt in place. Your face was full of panic as you looked around. Facing the young woman, that famous smirk filled her face as she got closer. 

“Who needs coffee when my touch can be your pick me up?” 

With that said, Handong continued into the shooting site, leaving you amazed by her actions. 

“Don’t give in, don’t give in, don’t give in.” 

First time of the day. 

7 hours later. 

Lunch was a time everyone enjoyed. Well maybe not the ladies who prepared the food but it was a time to relax. At least that’s what you assumed it would be. 

The metal chair your butt seated on was not the comfiest but it got the job done. On your plastic plate, a mix of veggies and various meat could be found. Unlike most idols, the Dreamcatcher girls ate what they wanted in moderation instead of going on insane diets. 

Despite being their manager, the relationship you had with the girls was beyond just business. They were your friends. As you all sat around the white plastic table. Everyone was listening to Jiu’s corny jokes when a sudden pressure on your crotch caught your attention. 

Not wanting to make it oblivious, your face continued to look at Jiu, while giving the girl further to the right a serious look. Despite this, Handong continued to eat while her foot continued to touch your dick. 

“Haneul. Are you ok? You seem a bit red?” 

“O-Oh yeah. I’m fine, Sua. Sorry, I think it’s just a little hot.” 

“Yeah, it is a little hot. I’m so glad they got us those cold drinks.” 

As each girl took a sip of their Soda, Handong raised the straw to her mouth and gave you a smirk. The young woman’s tongue began to roam around the plastic straw. Moving it up and down, Handong pushed the straw in her mouth and began to move it back and forth, Maintaining eye contact that whole time. 

“Don’t give in, don’t give in, don’t give in.” 

9 hours later. 

Just as when you had woken up, the sun was nowhere in sight. The life of an idol is tough, but being their manager could be just as stressful at times. As some girls continued to get their photos taken for the album, the sound of clapping caught your attention. 

Looking to the left, the sight of the approaching pink-haired girl made you nervous. As Handong finally stood in front of you, a small giggle left her mouth. 

“Drooling much? Well as much as I love you staring at me, could you help me take a few pictures for my Instagram?” 

Getting back to your senses, you simply nodded your head and took the phone that she handed you.

Getting ready to take a few shots, Handong shook her head no. 

“Let’s not bother the people shooting here. Let’s go by the van. I'm sure no one we can bother will be there.” 

The sirens in your head began to go off but you didn’t have much of a choice as the Chinese woman began to walk off. Following behind, your eyes noticed the leather skirt that didn’t cover much of her legs. Handong was always a muscular girl and her legs were no exception. Those powerful legs had caused you plenty of problems in the past. 

Your attention must have been cut short as you suddenly bumped into Handong. You both had finally reached the van. With no words, Handong quickly fixed her hair and began to pose. Remembering what you were there for, you proceeded to open the camera app and point the lens at the Chinese woman. 

At first, Handong began to just show off her jacket with each pose, leaning down a bit while Maintaining eye contact with the camera. As Handong stood straight, your eyes immediately noticed the sports bra that was underneath the jacket. The gray and white matched perfectly with the leather jacket and skirt. Moving her hand to the bottom of her jacket, Handong began to show off more of the outfit that was covered. 

Finally raising her arm, Handong’s exposed midriff blessed your eyes.  Handong’s abs were something that could make any man or woman drool like a dog. You were surprised your hand still remembered to take a few pictures but soon your mind began to repeat those 3 words. 

“Don’t give in, don’t give in, don’t give in.” 

Despite repeating those words, the stare that came from Handong enchanted you. As the young woman lowered her arm, Handong began to walk backwards toward the white van that was there. 

With her finger, Handong signaled you to follow her. Your legs had a kind of their own as you followed after her. When Handong’s back hit the van, her arm reached for the handle and pulled it to open the door.

Soon the pink-haired girl was gone into the white van and you were left with a choice. Would you go in the van and act in your urges or return there where you could be needed?

Sticking her head out, Handong gave you a small scowl and spoke. 

“Get in here. I promise I have a reason that I need you here. Please come and assist me, dear manager.”

“Ok ok. I’m coming.” 

Taking a few steps forward, your left leg stepped into the white van as the rest of your body entered after. Soon the door closed automatically, leaving you face-to-face with the Chinese idol.

“O-Ok Handong, what do you need my help with?” 

“Oh it’s quite simple, I just need your cock.” 

Your heart rate shot towards the roof as you heard those words. Before you could even react, handong had already brought her hands toward your pants. Taking hold of her soft hands, you began to repeat those same words. 

“Don’t give in Don’t give-“ 

“Oh, it’s too late for you to say that.” 

Handong in one swoop undid your belt and fished out your cock. The soft skin from her hands made your whole body shake as she began to raise her hand up and down. All self-control you had left was gone as soon as the girl's tongue reached your tip. 

Spinning her tongue around the head of your cock, your eyes immediately closed and a loud sigh left your mouth. Somehow in that time, Handong managed to lower your pants to the floor and reach back up to your balls. As the girl’s tongue began to move up and down your shaft, her hand began to grab your balls and play with them. Each lick from her tongue was accompanied by a soft squeeze of your balls. 

As you looked down, your eyes could only see the color pink as Handong continued her oral assault. Soon your cock head was enveloped but the warm and wet comfort of Handong’s mouth. At that time, the young woman began to suck on your tip, causing you to moan loudly. 

Just as your cock head, the rest of your shaft got enveloped by the warm cavern that was her mouth. Handong was never one to like things slow so I’m a quick swoop, your entire length went down her throat. By reflex, your hand went on top of Handong’s head and kept her pushed down. 5 then 10 seconds passed until you felt a tap on your thigh. 

Letting go, Handong’s head shot up as she gasped for air. Despite just having been full of your cock, Handong began once more. The suck's on your cock combined with the pressure from her throat began to make you reach your peak. As you got ready to push the Chinese girl down on your cock once more, her oral attack stopped. 

A small cry left your mouth as a giggle left her mouth. Raising her legs, Handong quickly took a seat on your lap and looked into your eyes. 

“The only place your load is going is in my pussy. Fill me and then fill me some more.” 

With a quick slap to your face, your mind was overloaded with pleasure as Handong’s pussy enveloped your shaft. Raising her hips, Handong began to aggressively shove your length into her hole. 

“Fuck me or I’ll go find someone who can take your place.” 

With those words of what could be encouragement, your hands proceeded to take hold of her hips and raise her up. Lowering the girl on your length, you began to do the same action over and over. 

Despite being in a tight spot, Handong was able to get up and shove her pussy down on your length. Small squeaks left the car as Handong bounced on your cock. Guess you were also testing the suspension. 

With each bounce, your hips matched the Chinese girl's action and shot your cock up into her warm cavern. Your eyes at that time took notice of Handong’s covered breasts. Handong seemed to have noticed this also as she pushed the sports bra up and grabbed your head. Just like your shaft, your face was suffocated by the comfort of Handong’s body. As you opened your mouth, your tongue immediately found the woman’s nipple and began to play with it. The moans that left Handong’s mouth let you know she loved this action just as much as you did. 

Finally, closer, your mouth wrapped around her nipple and began to give it a few sucks while flicking it with your tongue at times. Being a manager helped your sex life. How? Multitasking.” 

With your mouth busy attacking Handong’s right breast. Your left hand let go of Handong’s waist and moved towards the girl's folds. Searching around, your hand was lucky to find a little nub, and began to play with it. With each bounce suck and rub, Handong began to make more and more noise. The various sources of stimulation began to overwhelm her body as she wrapped her arms around you. 

“D-Don’t fucking stop. I’m gonna cum soon.” 

Hearing those words lets you know to do your best in that moment. Speeding up your hand brought more moans in the van. Handong wasn’t going to just sit there. Speeding up her bounces caused you to do the same with the rest of your actions. The girl’s walls began to tighten and strangle your cock. You knew you were close so you had to give it everything you got now. With all the power left in your hips, you proceeded to pound into the girl’s cavern and attack her clit the best you could. When a loud yell hit your ears, a matching constriction was felt around your cock. 

Handong’s whole body tensed up at that moment as her pussy juices leaked down onto your legs. Handong’s orgasm helped you as you finally reached your peak. As your lower body shook, your shaft began to spurt your semen deep into the young woman’s womb. Each shot of cum that filled the girl caused her to jolt in place once more. 

After a few seconds, the sound of panting was all that could be heard in the van. As both of your eyes meet, your lips quickly attached in a passionate kiss. Both of your tongues fought each other for dominance. Despite this, you both gave each other control somehow. Pulling back from the kiss, you both began to laugh and calm down. 

Hopping off you, Handong quickly lowered her sports bra and fixed her hair. Following her example, you proceeded to fix your clothes and get ready to leave the van. 

As the automatic door opened, you were met by a serious group of girls who didn’t seem happy. With a shake of their heads, you both hopped out as they took a quick whiff inside. Dami was the first to react as she backed away from the van. 

“God, it smells like sex in there. Ladies. Leave the windows open to air it out. You two, just wait for the car to stop smelling.” 

As the rest of the dreamcatcher girls left the area, your eyes immediately noticed Handong walking backwards towards a building. Repeating the same action, Handong began to signal you to follow her. 

“Don’t give in, don’t give in, don’t give in.”

Handong heard you as she raised her skirt and bit and showed you the cum falling down her leg. With a smirk, the Chinese idol entered a building leaving you thinking. 

Damn it. You're giving in again, aren’t you?

[its-not-a-pen]

—Terracotta—

Ok so I visited xi'an during my trip back to china (3 months ago?), and this idea popped into my head during the 9h train ride back to shangdong. I am of course 100% projecting my own love of the terracotta army onto Qin Shi Huang, in reality he did not care for this pit of mud statues depicting lowly commoners. In fact, no one ever bothered to write about it and they were lost to history until 1974 when some farmers digging a well stumbled upon them. But it's exactly the reason I'm so fascinated by them. QSH's tomb has not been excavated, and although I have a running joke about cracking it open--mercury vapors be damned--none of the riches inside will ever enchant me as much as the chance to see the face of a person who lived during this time.

Notes under the cut:

#1

the title Qin Shi Huangdi means "First Emperor of Qin" and was given to QSH by later historians. He actually called himself the Shi Huangdi, "First Emperor", and that is the title I've gone with here.

in English the other kingdoms are translated as "states" (i guess to avoid confusion?) but in chinese they are very much kingdoms.

The terracotta warriors used thousands of craftsmen, many of whom were slaves from conquered kingdoms. From a storytelling perspective I thought it would be more streamlined if there were two main artisans who reported directly to QSH.

QSH's clothes are based on the overly complicated courtly regalia. which has 12 symbols that only the emperor is allowed to wear

Notice how this hat is ROUND at the front??? Well I CERTAINLY DIDN'T. HAD TO REDRAW IT!!!!!

the stripped shirt is based on this Chu woman figurine. Clothes were fairly unisex during this time and I thought it was a nice fit.

#2

Paperwork: writing was done on books made of bamboo slips. Anecdotally, QSH had an impressive work ethic and would read 100 bills every night.

Bronze Goose lamp: ok this is actually a Han dynasty lamp pls forgive me. I saw this bad boy at the xi'an history museum and it's bewitched me body and soul. The goose neck is hollow and connects to a reservoir of water in the belly, which minimizes smoke and cools the lamp.

QSH is remembered as a brutal tyrant and brilliant statesman, but I wanted to present a more human version of him here. Bored, tired and drowning in work he refuses to delegate. His new empire is balanced as precariously as everything else on his desk.

#3

The attendants standing behind him are holding little wood tablets called hu for taking notes. Their brushes are tucked into their hats/hair, inspired by Han dynasty custom. (You'll see me using Han stuff a lot. Their cultures were very similar to Qin, since it was only a few hundred years apart).

So I had a slight breakdown trying to find the correct hats for the eunuchs, and ended up redrawing everything the night I was due to publish. Closest thing I could come up with was a reference to a round-style Han Dynasty hat which evolved into this square Jin hat. Yes, this is a cry for help .

#4

the wheeled platform is 100% made up, I tried to come up with a plausible way of getting a bunch of figurines into the palace.

#5 & #6

Painted terracotta soldier

How were the terracotta warriors made

The General: Fun fact, I got to see this guy in person!

#7

The Epic Wide Shot was inspired by some Tang Dynasty terracotta figures I saw at the xi'an museum!

#8

THIS KNEELING ARCHER. ARGGGGG. He use to be my favourite guy. I even went into the pit and drew him IN PERSON. the archers inexplicably have their hair buns on the OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE HEAD. So because of him, I DREW ALL THE HAIR BUNS WRONG!!!! REDRAW!!!! PAIN AND SUFFERING!!!!

#10

Qin was famous for it's very long, thin swords. They were more useful as status symbols than actual weapons, as QSH knows from personal experience…

#11

QSH'S Tomb hasn't been excavated yet, but high levels of mercury have been detected in the soil, making the historical accounts of quite plausible.