#But I dont think I'd go to the extent

[peaceblank]

I think you gotta admire the dude who rigged a phone to auto dial a phoneline in 1988, just because he hated a character so much.

[swagging-back-to]

ok here's my ranking of all the mcu heroes that i actually know.

Based on how they act IN THE MOVIES seeing as im more familiar with them than the comics.

no one cares but i want to compare it in like a month LOL

so heres my current faves <3

explanation for all my hated ones;

she hulk doesnt need an explanation, vision is a domestic abuser and a fucking loser who deserved to die sooner, thee wasp is ANNOYING AS FUCK IN END GAME I COULD GO ON FOR A WHOLE PARAGRAPH LITERALLY EEVERYTIME SHES ON CAMERA SHES LOOKING AROUND LIKES A CLUELESS FUCKING MORON!!!!!! captain marvel also doesn't need an explanation theeres not a single person alive who likes her, and ghost rider was played by nick cage who is gross asf so the character is gross asf

second image is going off of humor and third image is off of ability, nerfing, and acting believability.

[squishytenya]

Hey Do you remeber your Tenya and Aizawa ask, with y/n Crying? What about some of the other casts like Katsuki or Ejiro?

if you dont mind please and thank you

They Make You Cry Headcanons

I lowkey had to search my own blog for this but I found it! thanks for the request <3

Pairings - Bakugou x gn!reader, Kirishima x gn!reader + Kaminari x gn!reader

Warnings - arguments, cursing, crying

Katsuki Bakugou

▹part of being in a relationship with Katsuki is dealing with his harsh personality. Even if he does calm down the older he gets, it's still probably not to the same extent of a normal human being.

▹he probably would be completely speechless the moment you started crying after an argument - straight up would not know how to respond to that.

▹his eyes would go wide and he would go to take a step towards you and then bring himself back, holding his arm to himself.

▹"hey... don't do that"

▹for all his faults Katsuki is, deep inside, a good person and he knows this is the kind of shit you lose relationships from and he really really doesn't want to lose you.

▹ but he does know he can be a bit much and he probably takes a while to come down from whatever he's feeling so he just kinda leaves for a few minutes

▹ he comes back with a cup of tea and perches gently on the bed next to you, avoiding eye contact

▹he would do his best to spit out an apology, but it's not something that would come naturally to him. Seeing your face crumple like it did is still replaying in his mind and he knows he has to fix this somehow - so he does his best to explain himself

▹eventually he would just stop rambling and take your hand in his, squeezing it gently.

▹"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that to you"

▹ he'd just sit by you, hand in his until you were ready to talk to him and talk over what had led to the argument in the first place and he really does take your words to heart about what upset you

▹he'd try to cut down on raising his voice and try to cut out teasing nicknames entirely, unless he knew you were okay with them already

▹a sweet guy really

Eijirou Kirishima

▹I cannot see Kiri upsetting you on purpose, even during an argument he isn't the type to yell or get super angry with you

▹him making you cry is most likely a complete accident on his part, or even him accidentally playing into an insecurity you have without properly thinking about it

▹when your relationship first started out, I think he probably didn't understand you might not be comfortable with the things he's comfortable with, especially during social situations

▹ also probably doesn't understand others might read his kindness as flirting, so when you two are invited to a hero party to socialise and he pretty much ignored you the whole night, he had no idea why you began tearing up on the way home

▹obviously, he's worried about why you're crying and what he did! and how he can fix it is at the forefront of his mind almost immediately after noticing

▹and when you explain it to him, he pretty much crumbles straight away - he is in disbelief that he made you feel that way

▹he falls over himself explaining that he didn't mean to make you feel that way, he was just overwhelmed by the pressure of hero society and got caught up

▹Kiri is very good at admitting when he is wrong, and puts a lot of effort into having healthy communication in his relationships - platonic or otherwise

▹pulls over the car literally just so he can hold both of your hands in his and make eye contact as he explains his actions, specifically so you understand he's being genuine

▹"I'd never do that to you on purpose, you're the most important person to me"

▹after your sniffles have subsided, he pulls you into a hug and promises never to do something like that again - and you bet he keeps his promise!!!

▹takes you to get food too, just as an extra apology and you sit in the car park eating ice cream together - he makes sure you're the center of his attention the entire time <3

Denki Kaminari

▹oh he's so stupid. he's so lovely, but so, so stupid.

▹honestly he probably says something insanely embarrassing in front of your friends and pays no attention to how that might make you feel, especially if you're close to these people

▹doesn't even notice when the room goes completely silent and nobody is talking but him, it takes one of his friends clearing their throat for him to notice your eyes filling with tears

▹in his defense, he does try to explain himself straight away and takes you into another room to have the conversation (at the very least) but it takes a little bit more explaining to him why his actions would upset you

▹doesn't really get it at first but you explaining, and your face as you cry, makes his heart hurt and he tries to rectify his actions as soon as he can

▹the first thing he thinks to do in that moment is bundle you up in his arms and rock the both of you back and forth to calm you down, which works a little more than you'd like to admit

▹runs his hands over your back, up and down, until your breathing evens out - does not give a shit about anyone outside of you two in that moment

▹once you've stopped crying, full on apology - hands and knees!

▹he seems genuinely heartbroken to have embarrassed you and takes full responsibility for what he did

▹ kicks everyone else out of the house and spends the rest of the evening making it up to you and reminding you of how important you are to him and just how sorry he is

I hope these were good! I haven't written in ages so this'll be the first comeback headcanons, hope you guys enjoyed it <3

[23starii]

Pleasant Surprise - tendo x reader

Summary: He's used to girls trying to get through him to get to Ushiwaka. He knows no girl actually wants to be with him or get to know him. None of the gifts he receives are ever actually for him. Until you approach him one day after practice.

Warnings/notes: insecurity, speculation, rudeness, but, tbh not that much, short reader (shorter than Tendo). Chat I literally wrote all of day two and left to find a divider AND TURNS OUT EVERYTHING DELETED SO I HAD TO REWRITE THE WHOLE THING 😆😆😆😆😆

Day one

Practice was finally over.

Tendo loved it. It was another good day for him and the team.

What he didn't quite loves was-

"E-excuse me?" A tiny feminine voice to his left.

"Can I help you?" He answered, almost rudely. He knew what was to come, especially with the way you held the small, neatly wrapped gift box in between your hands.

"I'm really sorry to bother you, Tendo.." You began, shyly looking up at the taller male.

Tendo almost rolled his eyes. He wanted to just tell you to go away. He couldn't take it anymore. He just wanted to go home, but here you were, a cute girl saying his name with the sweetest voice trying to use him to get to his buddy.

It would be nice not to be looked over for once. Not only was it annoying to have to go through this nearly every day but painful, too. You were so cute and pretty. He recalled seeing you around and watching their practice several times.

"I made this for you. I was wondering if you'd accept it?" The girl brought her arms up higher, showing off the tiny box to the volleyball player.

"Listen-" Tendo almost answered in his usual way, telling girls to just go away because Ushiwaka didn't want their gifts anyway but then he realized what you said.

A gift for him? This was new. You wanted to earn his trust and get close to him just so he could introduce you to Ushiwaka. Didn't you?

Figures.

"U-um, you don't have to.. if you don't want to." You spoke up after Tendo was quiet for some time, thinking.

"Is it for me?" He wondered.

"Yes! It's for you! I made this just for you, Tendo."

Before he could say anything, you decided to keep speaking your mind, making sure he understood the extent of your purpose for being in front of him today.

"I've been coming to watch you practice for some time now.. you're amazing. You're so tall and a great blocker! I can tell you enjoy playing the game very much.. you always have a smile on your face when you play. And I enjoy watching you..very much as well."

Tendo was stunned, to say the least. You spoke without even looking at him. What you said didn't sound rehearsed or bogusly put together.

He wasn't sure what to say or do. He didn't know if he was convinced either.

"I took the time to learn that you really like chocolate too.. so that's why I made it for you. It took me a while to get the recipe right, but I did it just for you.. so I would really appreciate it if you could accept my hard work." You stared at the floor, face flushed and embarrassed, arms stretched out. You couldn't believe you poured nearly your whole heart out to him when he hadn't even said more than one word to you.

"Um.. okay. Thank you very much. I'll make sure to have these later." Tendo took the small box from your pretty hands. He had never been in a situation like this before - he hoped his answer wasn't too blunt or that he made you feel dumb for being here.

"Please! Let me know if you like them! Or if you dont.. I'd be very happy to make more for you!" You bowed quickly before speeding off in the opposite direction, cheeks burning.

You really hopped you hadn't said too much.

Tendo watched you walk away, cocking his head slightly to the his right, puzzled.

Could it be that you really did make it for him because you wanted to give it to him?

Could it be true that you really had been watching him and not Ushiwaka?

"Damn. That girl was really nervous." He hears Semi from his left speak.

"Aw man! You're so lucky, Tendo! She was cute.." Goshiki gushes from his right.

"Yeah, she was.."

Day two

The next day, Tendo walked the halls with the knowledge that somewhere in the same building, there was a girl who made the best chocolates he's ever had.

He hardly thought of anything else since he popped one of the treats into his mouth the night prior. He couldn't believe something so delicious could be made. And just for him nonetheless.

He hoped your words were truthful. He hoped he would see you again that afternoon so he could thank you.

Tendo made his way toward the gym, where he would be partaking in the usual practice routine.

When he arrived and was fully changed into his gym clothes, he made sure to warm up with his teammates.

He stretched and received a few balls, making sure to keep an eye out for you.

The redhead made sure to glance over at the students' section every so often.

Tendo was quite disillusioned to find you nowhere to be seen.

An hour into practice, he figured you just weren't coming. He had been tricked, hadn't he.

Oh well.

There's no way a girl like you would seriously be into him.

He decided to go on as if nothing had happened, as per usual. He continued giving it his all during practice as was expected from him.

.

.

.

Tendo exited the changing room, having his regular school uniform on now. He could hear his younger teammates messing about in the room behind him while he bent down low, grabbing his shows and placing them in front of himself.

"Tendo." He hears the firm, stoic voice of his best buddy call out.

"Hey! Wakaaa!" The lankier boy teased with the nickname, looking off in Ushijima's direction whilst putting his left shoe on.

"There was a girl looking for you." The barely taller male spoke.

"A girl?" Tendo repeated, moving on to his right shoe.

"I thought she was gonna ask me for my autograph. Instead, she asked me about you." Ushiwaka informed, with his usual straight face.

Tendo straightened up his body, finishing up with his shoes he turned his full attention to his friend.

"Where is she?" The redhead asked, picturing your shaky figure holding out the gift he enjoyed so much.

Ushiwaka shrugged.

"She was outside the gym, last time I saw her."

Tendo thanked his friend and quickly made his way back to the gym, hoping he hadn't missed you.

He was relieved to find you curiously standing about right outside the gym.

"Excuse me?" He spoke, stepping to you.

You quickly turn around to meet the boy, your hair whipping the air from the speed.

"Tendo!" You spoke, surprised.

"I'm shocked, I didn't think I'd see you again or have the chance to thank you for those chocolates." Tendo teased, reffering to your absence earlier.

He watched your face twist into guilt.

"I am only able to see you when my club activities end early. I'm so sorry! Did you like the gift then..?" You ramble, apologetically, your cheeks flushing.

Tendo suddenly found it increasingly difficult to hide how flattered he is by your presence.

You took the time to come see him after your own club activities and even asked Ushiwaka about him. And the way you messed with your uniform nervously as you spoke was adorable in his eyes.

"Like it? I loved it!! I've never had anything so good before." His face warmed up.

"Really?? It was a family recipe.. I barely learned it, so I'm glad you enjoyed them!" You gave another sweet smile, almost as sweet as the treats the boy had last night.

"You'll have to teach me that recipe some time, cause seriously, I've never had anything like that before!" He gushed, hoping he didn't sound too enthusiastic.

You blush at his compliments.

"So.. do you enjoy making sweets too, Tendo?" You wonder, hoping the two of you might find something in common, it would be beneficial to keep the conversation going which you hoped would happen.

"Actually, I've never baked or anything like that. But, if it's possible to make something that good, I'd like to learn it."

You were happy that he took such interest in you. You honestly hadn't expected it. You were just some girl after all. It warmed your heart and the tips of your ears.

"By the way, you were looking for me? Ushiwaka told me."

Again, your cheeks flushed and you stiffened up.

"Well, I wanted to see you! I am a fan of yours, you know!" You laughed awkwardly admitting you truly did just want to see him.

Tendo's cheeks warmed further equal to yours now.

You wanted to see him? His fan? A pretty girl?

Could words be ever more flattering? Could you make him any more embarrassed? He seriously couldn't believe it.

You really called yourself his fan.

"Oh, wow. I didn't know I had such a beautiful fan." He sputtered, relieved that he hadn't stuttered. He almost missed your expression after those words.

Your face dropped, and he could see the visible pink hue that coated your pretty cheeks.

"I-Well, you know, I mean.. you're awesome and like also super! And beautiful.. too.." Your eyes widened from your own words. How could one stumble over themselves so damn much?

You internally beat the shit out of yourself. There's no way you didn't totally just blow it.

You almost missed how his eyes widened, too, and he blushed. Tendo looked as if you could eat him right up right then and there.

"Jeez.. you really came here just to flatter me." Tendo couldn't ignore the fact that no one had ever called him beautiful before. You were the first. And damn, it was a really nice feeling.

He couldn't believe it. This had to be a dream.

You couldn't really reply after how badly you stuttered you were surely traumatized from the embarrassment.

"So, how about that recipe?"

The boy eased your nerves by not turning away or insinuating that he disliked you. He wouldn't anyway. No way in a million years would he walk away.

You smiled, taking a deep breath to calm yourself before continuing the conversation.

You gave him a social media account of your choosing so he could contact you.

Tendo asked about your club, and the two of you spoke of your many interests. He even walked with you to your bus stop.

You found that the two of you didn't have much in common, but his interest in your hobby of baking and making sweets just might change that.

It might even create a duo of married chocolatiers.

✧˖*°࿐

[theriverdraws]

100k VIEWS!!! WOOO!!

Not my first or second video to reach this number, but definitely the one im most proud of.

Gonna ramble about my thoughts while making this, because I think about it a lot:

- It has been a couple of years since I started it (see desc.), but from what I remember I had this idea because this song popped up on my feed, and I really liked it (had not listened to the eng version before), looped it for a while, and then I was like "...wait this sounds like the warners doesn't it" and it all escalated from there.

- I needed them to kidnap someone, and I think I chose mickey because I had recently made an animaniacs & mickey mouse video and I really liked it, so I just chose to torment him again lmao.

Im actually realizing now that having him be the one kidnapped makes even more sense. In the song, it's halloween gremlins kidnapping santa claus - so the equivalent of WB gremlins kidnapped Mickey Mouse the disney mascot, is pretty perfect. Would like to say this was the plan since the beginning but that would be a lie smdjks.

- I really like the Animaniacs, "Who Killed Roger Rabbit?", and "Looney tunes back in action" takes on a "cartoons living with humans" universe, so in this video it's kinda of a mixture of all three of these - hence toon town (in my head it's mainly disney cartoons that live there, however the really big stars probably got their own houses in human cities I'd imagine). Mickey himself then follows the logic of his personality just being how he was drawn. He's just an average guy. Probably got nicer over the years since bro's personality ended up turning into a slice of bread by Disney, because he had to be the face of the company. My favorite version of Mickey is the one on the Mickey Mouse shorts though, so you can imagine this specific version of him on this video (I know it doesnt look like it in the beginning, I did not know how to draw mickey a couple years ago dnjdjs). In this video Mickey isn't really as evil as the company, he's just the mascot stuck with them. I would say bro is just a doormat. He wouldn't agree with all of their actions, but I dont even think he would acknowledge most of them, make a lot of excuses for them probably. Overrall he's like, fine.

- I needed a CEO to be Oogie Boogie because well.. Who would be better for it?? When I started this 2 years ago, I was deciding between Plotz and Rita (reboot CEO), I was gonna choose her because the Warners were scared of her to some extent, and I can't really imagine them being scared of Plotz. But this year, having picked this video back up, I am filled with great amouns of rage. Therefore, Zazza the clown was born (fuck you David).

- The lore is Zazza the clown sat down on a big chair one day, and people in suits made him CEO. He is an annoying, evil, money grubbing bastard. But also very stupid, so he's not that scary except when he's doing his bad ideas.

- The Warners aren't scared of him though, they are mainly doing this for fun because annoying Disney and the rat would be funny. However, going a bit deeper, they do crave praise and affection from those who hate him (aka the CEO, the entire company, any person with a brain that's around them at all times), so they are also doing this for those reasons. In the original show, there's even an episode where Plotz is not the CEO anymore, and they managed to get him back because they missed him yelling at them (probably not a direct quote, but it was something like that). The children are not well snjene. But yeah they're not taking sides nor scared, they're just doing whatever they want and maybe getting a fist bump out of it. (They are not going to get anything).

- Had to hit them with the PTSD about getting locked in a tower though jsjske, it had to match the lyrics.

- nsjsk actually the lyrics probably make the Warners sound more evil than what I picture them (though I do see them as really big menaces). To be fair, in Nightmare Before Christmas, Lock Shock and Barrel sing this whole song about torturing Santa Claus, only to just put a bag on him and give it to Jack directly. That's probably all that the Warners are gonna do in the end, maybe play with him for a bit but eh. (WB will not pay for psychological damages).

- I didn't plan a motive as to why the clown wants Mickey. Uhhhhh blackmail? Idk, feel free to come up with a reason.

- I always drew the Warners with fangs, you can see my other videos and old fanart on Tumblr. When the reboot was still airing, I drew like it looking like canine teeth, but originally I really liked drawing the cartoonish fangs like you see here, and recently I decided to start doing that again.

I think that's it! Probably a lot of grammatical mistakes (it's 5:40 AM), but I'm not editing this sjkeje. All I have left to say is I GOT TWO COMMENTS ABOUT THIS BEING A 18+ VIDEO, GUYS WATCH THE VIDEO BEFORE COMMENTTING WDYMMMM. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THUMBNAIL, YOUR BRAIN IS JUST ROTTING.

[myfandomrealitea]

Your post regarding specifc places for things and some places dont need a vent channel it helped me realise that the people i follow online were damaging to my health. They were constantly sharing real people who died horrifically and saying things like "if you dont share you're supporting violence " while i only joined social media to view art.

I actively speak about real life events offline with my family, we always talk about whats happening in the world once a week and mention anything new within the local and worldwide news. I didn't understand why social media was worsening my mental health around these topics since i could speak about it in real life with my family. i assumed i was horrible for simply not wanting to see it online, When your post about a safe space came up i realised why it made me feel so bad, the artists i followed no longer were posting art and were just constantly sharing news daily about horrific events. It became inescapable and i was unknownly doomscrolling for hours on social media while hoping to see art (that just made me feel bad viewing after seeing so much death) , my only escape was going offline. I already made new accounts just for art and Im so thankful for your post since i did avoid everything that was about real world events since the account is only for art and i feel so much more.. i guess happier.. but definitely more mentally healthy if that makes sense? It felt like my mind was drained or foggy when scrolling through social media, and i wasnt actually paying attention before but now its a lot more, clear, healthy and positive. Im able to think properly and actually pay attention and appreciate the good things online

I'm so glad I was able to help you on your journey to bettering your wellbeing. Its an aspect of why I run this blog and talk about the things that I do.

So very often people don't actually register or realize what parts of their lives are causing stress. They attribute it to 'working too much' or 'not sleeping enough' without realizing that there are direct causes for things like not sleeping enough. And I'm not saying every single part of life comes back to activism, but very often we don't even realize how much negativity and forced awareness we're exposing ourselves to.

I used to religiously follow accounts on Instagram which posted about animal abuse. Other than a handful of celebrities my Instagram feed would be the most graphic videos you could imagine of people hacking into live dogs with axes, boiling cats alive in huge vats of water, jockeys tearing at horse's mouths until their teeth were loose and they were leaving a trail of blood as they walked the winner's circle.

I used to think if I wasn't constantly forcing myself to acknowledge that these things were happening, if I wasn't constantly reminding myself the extent at which these things happen, I was a bad person. I wasn't a real animal lover. If I truly loved animals why wasn't I sharing these videos? Why wasn't I sitting there with thousands of other people acknowledging what animals go through while I sit comfy at home doing nothing?

It got the point where I'd be throwing up constantly, I refused to sleep because I was terrified of the nightmares and my hands would shake as I opened up the Instagram app because I dreaded what I'd see today.

It wasn't helping me. It wasn't helping the animals. I'm just as aware now of what animals go through without having to see any of it.

But now, I have the wellbeing to actually devote myself to meaningful activism. Not just tormenting myself to no outcome. Now, I have the willpower and the energy to sign petitions and do research and take steps in my own life to better the welfare of the animals in my care.

Now I can sleep at night and wake up well-rested with the energy and the motivation to do things both for myself and for other people. Now, I can scroll Instagram and leave polite, correctional comments on misguided videos about animals. Now I have the knowledge to devote my attention and my efforts to where it actually makes a difference and changes animal's lives.

It is such, such a hard thing to drag yourself out of. We're so conditioned into thinking suffering shared is suffering lessened. We're so conditioned into believing that by spamming words anywhere we can we are the direct cause of change.

Its a hell of a learning climb. A steep one. But I genuinely believe the world would be better off for learning and changing as we both had the courage to.

[atinystraynstay]

I'd Wait For You - Joshua Hong

Synopsis: Joshua was your best friend, the person who has witnessed you grow and blossom. That includes being front row to watching you fall in and out of love with people. Joshua was convinced he could treat you better. Could you find yourself to let him in?

Pairing: non-idol! Joshua Hong x fem reader

Genre: Angst, childhood friends to lovers, fluff here and there!

Word Count: 2.3k

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

When Joshua thought of the person he was, it was because of you. You were the one who helped him pick out clothes so he found his style, you were the one who boosted his confidence he he doubted himself and pushed him to try new things, and you were the one who helped him made bad decisions sometimes in the hopes of making long-lasting memories. You were his person.

It was written by the universe that the two of you would be best friends. With your mothers being so close, there is no denying that you two will always have an important place in each other's lives.

Ever since you were younger, you two didn't go somewhere without the other. You attended the same schools, even the same college. Sure, college led you two to different friend groups, different activities, and different majors. But you always made time for each other even when life got busy. You two would study constantly and promised to have one meal together once a week. And you two never broke that promise.

Anyone who witnessed your friendship always commented there was something more. Joshua saw it too. He easily fell for you. How couldn't he? You accepted every version of himself and were the person who brought him an immense source of comfort. He couldn't imagine life without you.

Unfortunately, he had to imagine what it would be like to be with you.

"Do you think he's worth it?" You sighed.

The two of you were on FaceTime. It was a Tuesday night. While Joshua was at home, waiting for his food delivery, you were busy getting ready for a date.

Part of the reason why Joshua had to imagine what life would be like if you two were together is because you were seeing someone. For the past few months, you've been dating this guy named Ben. Now, Joshua didn't think much of Ben at first. He didn't seem like your type, so he thought he would come and go.

And he has to some extent. Ben and you had this awful habit of breaking up and getting back together. While it pained Joshua to see you with someone else, he loved the moments you confided him about your dating woes. He took mental notes of dos and donts for when you two (hopefully) get together. Ben was striking out left and right, mainly due to his poor communication. What Joshua didn't understand was why you always found yourself going back to him.

"Y/n, I don't know. You guys break up so much, I've lost count," he laughed. "It's only been 3 times," you groaned. "3 times what? This week?" "But he said he's changed this time. I mean, he even sent flowers to my apartment after our argument two nights again. That's got to mean something, right?" Joshua wanted to roll his eyes so much at your rationale. He adored you with every fiber in his being, and he didn't want to come across as dismissive, but he felt frustrated both because of you and for you. Ben was not worth it in his eyes. Nobody is worth it for you except for him. But he was your best friend. That was his role. "Maybe, angel. But there's only so much flowers can do to make up for how he treats you sometimes." Your smile had flattened by Joshua's words. And it pained him. He never wanted to be a source of sadness in your life. I guess that's why Joshua often pushed his feelings for you aside. He didn't want to be selfish and confess because that might cause a bigger mess. He loved you. He has since he was 8 years old. If you only saw him as a best friend, he would proudly take that role.

In a perfect world, you would confess to Joshua your feelings. He was ready to embrace those feelings head-on because he knew how he felt about you. What kept him back was not knowing how you felt towards him. You've always been so prominent in each other's lives. He didn't want to imagine a world without you. He was terrified that if he did ever confess, it would only push you away.

Joshua had found himself as the leading man in a tragic love story. "Just promise me something?" He requested. "Whatever you decide, follow your heart."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You had to hang up the phone call in order to get ready for your date. Joshua sighed once you face vanished from his phone. He set the phone on the coffee table before driving his fingers through his hair.

How could this happen? You were supposed to be with him, not with some random guy you met who knows where? Not with someone who doesn't see your value.

The whole situation frustrated him beyond belief. On paper, you guys were a perfect match. You two knew each other like the back of your hand. Even when you did have a disagreement, you guys would not allow it to blow up. You spoke to each other with respect, even if you were both angry because you cared about each other. In some ways, you could say you loved each other. Joshua definitely was in love with you.

He has received relentless teasing from his friends about his lack of making a move on you. His friends thought even pushing might cause him to crack. And it almost did. Yet, he was still afraid of losing you and now he might actually be.

You always saw him as a friend, or at least that's what Joshua believed. You two were best friends, nothing more and nothing less. This wasn't some love story where the childhood best friends fall for each other, no matter how many times he prayed it would happen. This was his reality. If he had to let you go to keep you in his life, he would. And he would be there to pick up the pieces each time.

Suddenly, a buzz brought Joshua out of his mind and back to the present moment. He sat up a little straighter, looking towards the door of his apartment. Did he hear that correctly? He glanced towards the clock on the wall. 8:16pm.

Ding dong. Who could that be?

Joshua pushed himself off of the couch before shuffling towards the door. It was just a short walk towards the front of the apartment. He slowly unlocked the top lock and twisted the doorknob to unlock his front door.

There you were.

"Y/n?! What happened?" "Why didn't you fight for me?"

Your voice was calm, yet your body language screamed rage. You had your hair pulled back in a clip, exposing your bare face to the world. You looked divine, but Joshua didn't have time to compliment you. He noticed how your eyebrows were slightly scrunched up while you stared into him. He thought your gaze was going to burn a hole right through them. You were wearing a zip-up hoodie and sweatpants.

"Answer me, Joshua."

Oh no, I'm in deep shit. He was at a loss for words as he stared at you. His mind racking through all the interactions you had. Did he say something over FaceTime? Did he forget to say something? Did you ask him to do something but he forgot? He was drawing a blank.

"Do you like me yes or no, Joshua? Because everyone is saying you do besides you."

His eyes grew wide at that statement. Who spilled? "Y/n, listen-" "No, Joshua, you listen. How dare you let me go on dates with people who treat me poorly. You're my best friend! We're supposed to tell each other everything." That part you whispered. "How could you not tell me?"

"What a damn minute," Joshua finally said. He had a raised eyebrow before opening the door all the way. He stepped aside to let you in, motioning for you to follow him. "I am not going to argue with you outside of my apartment. Get in." You sighed and nodded, slowly stepping in. Obviously something happened in between from the moment you guys to now. Who did you speak to? Who told you his secret? Why were you angry?

Once you were fully into his apartment, Joshua closed the door. You immediately found a spot on his couch, right beside where he was previously sitting. Your hands were locked in front of you, your one leg bouncing. Your breathing was starting to slow down a bit but you gaze was still locked on him. While not as intense, you still had your eyes trained on him.

"Can I get you a water or something before we continue this conversation?" He asked gently.

"There you go again!" You groaned. Your head leaned until it hit the pillow behind you. Your gaze is now trained on the ceiling above you two. He was surprised, completely speechless as he thought he was doing the right thing. "I'm so sick of you being nice to me."

Joshua raised an eyebrow before shuffling over to you. He took a seat on the couch beside you but kept enough distance. He wasn't sure how to process all that was transpiring, but he needed to understand where you were coming from. And apparently have some explaining to you.

"Y/n, sweet girl, you need to tell me what's going on." "You is what is going on," you confessed.

Slowly, you sat up until you were at eye level with him once again. The room was tense. He was nervous, afraid that what you had been told was going to bring his worst fear to reality - that he might lose you. "Joshua, you've set too high of a standard for me. You're kind without asking for anything in return. You treat me like a fucking princess when I'm only your best friend. I'm angry that we aren't together but you treat me better than any guy I've been with."

Was this actually happening? Were you confessing to him? "Y/n, do you like me?" 'I have liked you since I knew what it meant to have a crush on someone," you admitted. "But."

Not the cursed 'but.' "We're best friends. I didn't eat to be presumptuous and think you like me when we've been friends for so long. But then Seungkwan told me that you had feelings for me yesterday. I didn't think it was true especially not when you pushed me to go out with someone else tonight."

Fuck. "Y/n, look, we are best friends," Joshua began. You looked at him as if you just stabbed him in the heart. "But, I fell in love with my best friend."

Very gently, he took both of your hands in his. You stared up at him with a facial expression he couldn't recognize. This was new for both of you. You were venturing into uncharted territory for the two of you. His thumbs caressed over your knuckles which both soothed your nerves but caused your heart to pound faster. "This was not the way I planned on telling you," he confessed. "I actually wanted to tell you once you were single again because I didn't want to stand in the way of being happy." This time, you reached out to him. Keeping one hand in his, your other hand reached over to run your fingers through his hair, pushing the strands back to expose his face more. You seemed to relax under your touch which made you smile for the first time that evening. "Josh, I'm my happiest when I'm with you. Have I not made that clear in all the years we've known each other?" "Y/n, you know I have too much respect for you and too much invested in this friendship to just assume someone like you could ever be into me." You squeezed his hand gently, unable to stifle the giggle leaving your lips. You moved closer to him, our lips almost right under his. "This is so silly. What are we doing? Why are we keeping ourselves from being our happiest versions of ourselves?" He smirked at your question. With his free hand, he cupped your cheek gently. His thumb caressed over your cheek affectionately as he gazed into your eyes. He always has been mesmerized by the fact that your eyes captured any light in the room. They sparkled like two disco balls. "Let's change that," he murmured.

Time stopped. He leaned in so his lips grazed against yours as if he was testing the waters. He wanted to make sure you were comfortable with what was about to happen, as there was no turning back. When you didn't pull away, he got the green light he's been chasing after. His lips fully pressed against yours.

Your head gently tilted up, leaning to the side so your lips fit against him like two missing puzzle pieces. It felt like tiny sparks were going off against your lips. It was a feeling the two of you would soon be addicted to. And it felt so comfortable, so natural. His lips slowly chased after yours for a moment.

Even though he felt the urge to continue kissing you, to never let this moment pass, he did pull back. His forehead found yours, revealing the wide grin the two of you wore. He couldn't help but chuckle before pecking your lips once more. Joshua was just over the moon. He was eager for whatever may be next for the two of you, especially now that there were no limitations. You were his best friend, but now the girl who knew how he felt.

"I kept my promise you know," you spoke softly.

Joshua raised an eyebrow but kept a warm smile. Now what were you talking about? "You had me promise to follow my heart. And I did. You've been my heart, my love all this time."

[warpcorp]

Some thoughts about Shilo (and a lot of my thoughts about the aromantic reading of him)

Okay, so Shilo has been a character that's been spinning in my head pretty constantly. This isn't going to be organized but rather kind of just. Thoughts.

I see a lot of people interpret Shilo as a purely innocent person who has done no wrong wet cat, and yeah! He is! But the thing is, he's... done wrong. He's a vampire. There's something inherently evil in all vampires, and i believe this misconception stems from people not knowing the vtm lore. In VTM, all vampires have a beast inside of them, and this beast is inherently evil and cruel and animalistic, which is the part that forces vampires to feed. Shilo hasn't frenzied, he's never lost control of this beast but the fact he has one is enough to make him "not purely innocent", I'd argue he thinks he's innocent and hasn't done wrong but keep in mind he has zero hestitation throwing guards to die. He's indirectly killed several times, and that's not really something we can ignore when thinking about shilo.

He's also incredibly manipulative. He has no worries dominating or manipulating people for his own gain, and again, this comes from his sheltered life. This comes from him simply not knowing any better, but even then, this is a major flaw that i feel some people dont think about.

Shilo isn't rapunzel, Rapunzel isn't a killer, and she isn't manipulative with a disregard for people's lives. That is to say Shilo isn't pure evil, but rather, he's a morally grey character. He's killed, and he's manipulated, but you could argue that it came from a place of not knowing any better, but even then, he's still killed and manipulated. Do you see where the interesting moral dichotomy lies? Is he at fault for the evil he does if he doesn't know any better. I just dont like the "purely good" Shilo takes I've seen some people have.

The aromantic stuff:

I think it's rather well known I'm an aroace shilo truther (if im being honest, i have a distaste for armored pheasant to an extent, but that is not what this is about). I feel as if that's a rather crucial part of his character, and it's not unsubstantiated. He quite literally says he's incapable of having romantic feelings, and in the newest episode (i am not caught up, forgive me), I've heard there's more he says that hints towards this aromantic reading. He's had zero interest in romance, and the fact he was bloodbonded to Edward without his consent can have rather interesting implications that I believe could be expanded on. A lot of aromantics know that feeling of being told "I can fix you" or whatever and Shilo parallels it quite well with the experience he has had with Edward. Below is the quote where he says he's incapable of romantic love.

(This is my own personal opinion but I believe his character is also sort of dumbed down once someone ships him with Grefgore. A lot of people did from the get go, and I get and see the appeal but I also think they're better as friends but again, personal opinion and I don't care if you ship them but his character falls into the "only interesting for the shipping to the fandom" pit quite easily.)

There's something incredibly validating to have a character like Shilo, who's kind and silly and aromantic if that makes sense. Aromantic representation has been lackluster, and most representation is god awful (coughLovelesscough) so having Shilo would be really nice. He's not canon representation, yes. Unless Bizly straight up confirms it, it's just implied representation but come on. It's right there guys. Give us an aro win.

His character has a lot of interesting bits: a character who's only experience with the world is through media & book (hashtag autism), a character who's incredibly cruel yet kind, a character blind to his own flaws, an aromantic character who loves despite. Give me more morally grey Shilo, more guilty Shilo and most of all. More Aromantic Shilo.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I (27m) the asshole for wanting my boyfriend (28m) to be attracted to me?

This involves sex as a topic but won't get explicit, I'll keep it vague. I'm asexual. Completely sex repulsed in a physical sense, mostly due to autistic sensory issues. I've never had any interest in sex and didn't have any libido at all before going on testosterone, so the way most allosexuals tend to view and think of sex is something I've always struggled to understand.

In previous relationships, my asexuality was handled in different ways depending on the person. One boyfriend was totally fine just not having a sexual aspect to our relationship, another one had a hookup he got my approval on. The compromise me and my last boyfriend came up with was that he'd text me his fantasies about me and that did a lot for him without me having to physically be in the situation, and even if I didn't get anything sexual out of it I did enjoy it. It was a confidence boost. I dont generally consider myself attractive or desirable, i wear sweaters in summer because im so self conscious, and this compromise actually did a lot to help me see myself in a different light.

I recently got into a new relationship and, as with every relationship I've been in, there's inevitably a discussion about how we're going to compromise on this issue. My new boyfriend didn't know anything about asexuality and barely understood when I explained but he's very insistent about not crossing my boundaries, which I appreciate. But the problem is, since he'd never considered sexuality from a less direct angle, he didn't really know where to even start with ideas when we were trying to work out a compromise. So, I started making suggestions, thinking back to what worked for other people I'd dated. Just abstaining wasn't going to be doable for him so I didn't suggest it, and he wouldn't be comfortable with a hookup.

I remembered my ex used to be able to get something out of telling me about his fantasies so I asked if that was something he'd be into. I wasn't angling to try to get him to agree to something, I genuinely just wanted to know whether or not that was an option to consider. He didn't actually answer at first, he went quiet and then he answered the question with another question and asked "wouldn't something like that make you uncomfortable?" And I said "no, because the physical component is the thing I have issues with, not the subject matter itself. So long as I don't have to directly engage in the situation, I'm golden."

I don't know if this is something that was really stupid of me to say and my autistic ass just didn't realize, but since he's so careful about my boundaries and comfort and tends to fret, I thought his problem in the moment was worry that I'd be making myself uncomfortable in an attempt to meet his needs. So I hurried to reassure him and said not only would it not make me uncomfortable, I'd enjoy it in a way. Not sexually, but I enjoy knowing that my partner is attracted to me. It makes me feel good about myself.

He got really upset. He doesn’t get upset easily and hadn't ever gotten properly upset with me before (at least not to this extent) so I was very taken aback, but I was floored by his reason for being upset. Not word for word, but he essentially said "so basically you want me to frustrate myself to feed your ego?"

I was, I think understandably, completely fucking appalled by such a suggestion. I said of course not, I was just suggesting something I knew worked for someone else because even if it wasn't his thing, we could narrow down options by process of elimination. Which made logical sense, to me. He wasn't calmed though, he started saying things like "so, you want your partner to be attracted to you even though you never plan on actually letting them act on that attraction? Do you see how cruel that is?" And... I don’t know, which is why I'm submitting this here. Is that cruel?

From my perspective, I would think it's only natural to want to know your partner finds you attractive, doesn't everyone want to be wanted to some degree? I don't get some sort of sadistic thrill out of it as he seemed to be implying, and I don't want it to impact my partners in a negative way. If this was something he would find frustrating then no, of course I wouldn't want him to frustrate himself, we could look at other options. When I made the suggestion, I figured the worst that would happen was he'd say no and we'd narrow down the list of options. I never imagined my moral character would be called into question.

He's usually so, so nice to me and it hit really hard for someone who’s usually so fond of me to say I sounded selfish and vain. Both actual words he used when this devolved into an argument. I explained my reasoning for suggesting it to begin with but he said the issue isn’t the suggestion, it's that he thinks that it's fucked up of me to want my partner to be attracted to me when I'm not going to indulge that attraction and it makes him wonder if I'm really a different, worse person deep down and he's only now getting to see it. He called it a red flag. That seemed like such a leap to me but I don't want to dismiss the suggestion out of hand. Many bad people think they're good people, so it's not out of the question.

This was our first real argument, previous disagreements had been talked out very calmly but emotions ran high with this one. I dont know if this is something that triggered him for deeper reasons, considering his reaction was so intensely out of the norm for him, or if the whole thing just looks entirely different from the perspective of someone who isn't sex repulsed.

Am I the asshole here? Is it really as fucked up as he says that I enjoy knowing my partner is attracted to me even though I won't agree to have sex with them?

We didn't discuss the topic any more that night, and it hasn't been brought up since. He hasn't been treating me differently than before, but he's always proactively apologized before when he was in the wrong about things and he hasn't this time, so to me that says he still stands by what he said. His words have stuck with me and they’re eating at me. I feel like such a horrible person, and I have no idea if I should feel more or less guilty about this.

Tl;dr: my boyfriend is upset that I like knowing my partners are attracted to me even though I don't want to and don't intend to have sex with them bc he thinks that's majorly fucked up and a red flag.

What are these acronyms?

[olderthannetfic]

RE: porn addiction discussion:

I've seen a lot of both breakups and divorces over that very thing in the past decade, Imo I don't think its reasonable to expect everyone who has seen a dissolving in their relationship due to the excessive pornography usage of one partner partner to just suck it up and get used to liking porn themselves, accept watching porn together as a replacement for their sex life, otherwise /they/ must be some non-communicative creep who just wants to use their partner like a dildo.

More and more chicks get pressured by guys into doing that. Or like the other asker said, acting out things from porn that they dont wanna do, and regret it/dont enjoy it. I think its less about ~protecting pristine sacred christian piv~ and more of an acknowledgement that its not realistic to expect the majority of sexual relationships to be able to healthily function like that as long as theres 'communication'.

Communication isn't the end all be all when there's only one clear party that this scenario benefits. The person with the broken dick. To promote the idea that they should, can and is be used against people who don't want that for themselves or their relationship, under the guise that if their boundaries are firm they must be some flavor of "sex negative/christian/radfem/prude"

There's nuance to the topic. People with the same level of porn usage can be happy together, engage in their kinks mutually, all that jazz. But there are also an increasing number of relationships where a dude uses porn and sex-positive language to pressure chicks into doing things they dont want to, having the kind of sex life that they dont want to, which becomes a slippery slope. Or a dude gets so into porn that hes leaving it open on his computer for their kids to see in an exhibitionist sort of way, completely disregarding welfare.

And I don't mean that as any sort of hyperbole or rhetoric, that example happened with my own Dad. Lemme tell you, your father leaving open pages and pages of anorexic amputee torture porn on the family computer that you, as an 8 year old girl, have to rush to close before your younger siblings come in the door after you home from school, will have an impact on both that relationship and ones level of comfort with porn longterm.

And even then, I still got into relationship after relationship once I was old enough, where guys were constantly wanting to replace sex with watching porn with them, and when we did have sex they always wanted to 'try something they saw' rather than just have fun doing something mutually enjoyable and intuitive. Partners sneaking off at my 15 year old sisters birthday party to jack off to 'teen porn' in the bathroom, leaving home for work early just to jack off in a gas station parking lot for 2 hours, watching porn in bed next to me when I have to get up for work soon, being unable to maintain an erection without porn-related stimuli (be it watching or scenarios), spiraling into cheating, etc. Years and years of sex positivity, attempts at understanding, experimenting, and accommodating, and communication on my end didn't help, until that communication was "I can't keep trying to salvage this by myself anymore, I'd be happier alone."

Not everyone is going to be down with it, or should push themselves to be, and not all reasons for not wanting that for your own sex life are rooted in some Christian or Radfem rhetoric. Lived experience plays a role in such stances. Strong boundaries can be hard to build when there's pressure in both the bedroom and outside world that the ones you have are 'wrong', but it's worth it to stand up for ones own comfort, security, and happiness rather than endlessly accommodating.

Personally, I'm overjoyed to have now found a longterm relationship now where the furthest extent of that either partner engages with is fanfic and lewd art. I wish everyone the same luck in finding a partner that has compatible desires.

--

~broken dick~

Oh please.

This kind of discussion is obsessed with "porn" meaning mainstream live action porn aimed at straight guys and with the kind of dumbass men who think that stuff is a model to emulate. In reality, there are shittons of types of porn. People who pressure their partners suck regardless of why.

These experiences sound shitty, but I'm still rolling my eyes at this spin.

[cator99]

Wedding: part 1. Introductions

I dont even know where to start. We pull up and grandma's taking a break from her oxygen tube to have a cigarette inside. The bride's toddler-aged niece and nephew are running around screaming and trying to get my attention since half of the attendees are antisocial "ew crotch goblins" type autists. A woman I was acquainted with years ago who has since "transitioned", writes yaoi webcomics, and inexplicably (or, rather, predictably I suppose) goes by a japanese name, is sitting on the couch wearing a bright pink lolita coord– she makes awkward and anxious conversation with me which I enjoy nonetheless as a result of having memories of strong admiration for her from 15 years ago. She's quite a bit older than me, and I remember seeing her at the library as a tween and thinking she looked like the coolest person I'd seen in my town, thought maybe she was a lesbian too, and wanted so badly to know who she was that I snuck a look at the computer sign-in sheet just so I could try and guess which name might reasonably belong to her, and repeated the name to myself all the way home, imagining walking up to her and introducing myself one day and what I might do to try and get her to think I'm "cool". Nowadays she mostly seems stuck in a vicious cycle— posting an eyesore-pastel yaoi drawing on instagram that she clearly put a lot of work into, complaining repeatedly that it's not getting any engagement, asking people to like and comment, before finally sharing that she's deleting everything and going on hiatus because she's depressed that her art isnt getting anywhere, only to resurface in a month, rinse and repeat. Beside her is a barefoot 6 foot 2 woman who shakes my hand vigorously for a solid 20 seconds with a grip that cuts off my circulation. And beside her is a relatively normal looking man who appears to be in his 40s and makes normal– even intelligent– conversation with me. I wonder what he's doing there– and if he just got roped into it like me. I notice his pokemon belt and think okay so he's a dweeb but he still comes across as well-adjusted— wtf is the story here? I introduce myself to the grandparents, whose trailer the wedding is being hosted in, and they immediately take a liking to me since I'm such a strapping young lad to the extent that they dont even realize that I'm the one who my mother has referred to as her Daughter multiple times, and continue calling me "he" and asking about my trades aspirations etc (this particular type of enthusiasm towards your career is an interaction you unlock when people think you're a Normie Male– something I've learned very recently)... The bride's mother is already in tears– Finally, She's Not My Problem! Thank You God!!– as she holds in her hands a contract for the American bride to sign agreeing to mom's "No Returns" policy.

[tomeebear04]

alot of people portray tord as some insane sociopath who doesn’t care about anyone and its particularly heightened in wtfuture content,that being said i personally dont mind these headcanons when i was younger i was totally in favor of tord being a villain but whats your opinion on it? From what ive seen red leader is especially abusive to future tom but i always thought the cast was pretty mean to eachother in the earlier eddisodes but just grew out of it,tord left before the rest of them stopped being so mean to eachother,now its more or less poking fun and annoying eachother here and there

do you think tord just didn’t get the memo and thought it was still okay to act like this? Im all for ‘edgier’ headcanons and story telling but i just personally think to an extent tord isn’t as much as an asshole as people try to make him out to be,at some point the cast have tried to kill eachother and tom literally did what he did in zanta claws (which i forgive him for <33) but i see alot more people give tord more flack than anyone,srry ab the long winded question but i am curious ab your answer ^^

this is a multi-part question so im going to number them to make it more readable lol. also dw about long asks; i like em. lover having conversations about the show with other people

the tord villain question. ah the thing that divides the eddsworld fandom to this day. my opinion on this is a little nuanced. i personally like that direction for his character. i think it's interesting. it recontextualizes a lot of his strange behaviors from earlier episodes. fan interpretation of the actual content of the end episodes have led to a lot of people hating that idea though. i can see why too. i'm not a fan on how people decided to portray tord afterwards. i don't think he was a nice or pleasant person from day one, but i definitely don't think he's a sociopath or psychopath or insane. well not any more insane than everyone else. there's a lot more going on with tord psychologically. he has shown to care about people to an extent. i definitely think he has some kind of personality disorder. i've seen fans discuss schizoid personality disorder and borderline personality disorder in regards to a diagnosis for tord. i don't know enough on the subject to comment either way. imo a good tord wouldn't lose any of the fun aspects of his personality to fit better into any given villain trope. trying to fit square peg in a circle hole, ya know?

tom abuse. this one im a hard no on. i dont know why this got so popular. tord and tom are rivals. making tord an abuser and tom his victim just seems wrong for their dynamic. a lot of that content is fetish driven...and well.. im not touching that topic with a 10 ft shit and piss covered pole. if you're gonna make tord terrible to tom, you have to make tom just as terrible back. they both get under each others skin. i prefer the idea that tord and tom are more friendly in wtfuture since edd is out of the picture. i mean tord has to like him enough to employ him. tom likes him enough to be able to borrow a time machine without much trouble. those are two emotional unstable buddies right there

everyone kinda sucks. this is just straight up true. everyone was out for blood early on in eddsworld. i mean just look at matt. that guy was straight up a menace. yeah the show changed a lot. the tone and the way characters treat each other softened. the tomee bear has a pretty good video on this. i don't disagree with much of what he says. it added a new way to view the end episodes which i greatly appreciate. i could see this being the direction they go for tord in canon

everyone elses crimes. when it comes to talking about the other characters crimes i'd say dont take it seriously if the show doesnt. tom's christmas demolition wasnt taken seriously at all as an act of domestic terrorism. it's a joke about tom's character taken to the extreme for comedy. most things they do are consequence-less. basically, only take it seriously when the show does. tord blowing up the house, killing jon, and betraying everyone was tonally a lot different from tom rapping about hating christmas and nuking bongland. that's the reason why people hate on tord for what he did a bit more. personally i hate tord for being an annoying gooner with confusing politics. but u know to each their own

[doberbutts]

i hope this isnt weird to say but i really appreciate your dobeposting, especially about the history & current disposition of the breed. my mom has had dobermans my whole life and it led me to kinda... really dislike them for years, her last three and current youngster all were/are so nervy and quick to bite unprovoked (thankfully the young girl is coming around pretty nicely, no actual aggressive bites, just still learning to take things gently)

anyway, getting to the point, reading you explain about the breed's history, who dobermann actually was & how they were created & what they were originally bred for, and the way unfortunately the temperament has gotten messy due to that mixing of people wanting dobes to be family pet dogs and one-person protection dogs at the same time, or just try to make them into a pet dog they just aren't cut out to be (my mom is very much one of the former lol) really helped me understand and appreciate the breed. my dad has american akitas, and imho they have a similar issue of people trying to breed them for social, cheery pet temperaments which just tends to go very badly for a very large, high aggression, high prey drive, not suited for the average suburbanite breed like them, and realizing dobermans basically have a kind of more severe extent of the same issue (albeit I'm oversimplifying here) really helped me understand them.

i dont think I'd ever choose to have one, but I've definitely got a lot more respect and appreciation from afar.

so, sorry for rambling and probably being repetitive, hope i made some kind of sense, just wanted to say thank you for being a great breed advocate :)

here's a dobe tax, my mom's ~18 month old little girl, kira. she looks like that because, from what the rescue told my mom, she was from a backyard breeder and had to be removed from her first two homes due to mistreatment. still manages to be a real sweetie most of the time

Hey thanks for the compliment and the dog tax!

It really sucks because I think dobermans can be fantastic pet dogs... to people who want a doberman and all that entails. But a lot of people in the outcross groups I'm griping about want something more like a gun dog or a retriever in a doberman costume, and it's very frustrating to explain again and again that that simply is not what a doberman is.

I'd be all for a doberman outcross that actually respects what a doberman is for! The problem is that there have been very few of those, and most of them started with junk and ended up fairly lackluster in what they produced because you can't shine a turd and call it gold.

Dobermans don't have to be nervy, loose cannon, fear aggressive, bite risk demons. My doberman is not! My doberman before him was scared, but that was largely a socialization problem caused by living 2 years of her life exclusively in a box, and she wasn't dangerous, she just shut down and shivered. My doberman before her wasn't like this. And my doberman before him was, but again with the known abuse in his background from being a court case dog it's likely that he didn't start out that way and didn't need to become that.

It is possible to have a doberman that is actually a really fun dog to have and be around. You just. Have to understand that they are a doberman. My best friend @khayr has a doberman that's a pet, that does not do any sort of protection work. Her dog is very safe to be around! She's a lovely creature and I think well matched to my buddy's needs. But! She's also a doberman! That means she doesn't like the mailman or the UPS drivers! It means when missionaries knock on her door, her dog throws a fit! It means when she's out late at night and someone rapidly approaches her, her dog puts herself between her and the oncoming stranger! Because she's a doberman! She's supposed to do that!

[jemmo]

ok i was too exhausted to talk about i hear the sunspot last week so now i have 2 weeks worth of ranting saved up and i can feel the tidal wave coming.

edit: i had to add a read more bc this turned into the messiest, most tangent-filled rant. tl;dr idk i just like it

and first off i wanna semi-respond to some discussion ive seen around the show with regards to pacing, that its slow, its frustrating etc. and the extent of my response is... yeah. well, not just yeah. its not that i agree or disagree, its more that i dont have a way to respond that is unbiased or removed from my personal opinion bc i love the show a lot. if i totally detached and looked at it, yeah, maybe i'd think that way. god knows ive said the same thing for many, many other shows and funnily enough its usually one of my least favourite things. at least, i thought it was, but now that i think about it...

ok this is gonna be a tangent but ive now been watching bl and been in the bl space for over 3 years (wow, how did that happen?) and i think its really interesting to think about, and i'd love to hear from others as well, how my taste in bl has changed. what i like, what i dont like, what i value in a show and how much i am willing to invest in or engage with a show. before i got to bl, i was very much looking for bl content. even when i was younger, i was always trying to find queer content and it was usually european, and then in my anime phase i watched all the bl anime, and that led me to cherry magic blah blah you dont need to know the rest. but at that point i was very much hungry to just see queerness on screen. and i mean explicit queerness, not necessary sexual, just like dating and kissing and explicit same sex relationships. and i think in that haze and the height of hyperfixation i watched many shows that i probably wouldnt have the patience to now. i watch a lot less bl now, maybe bc im more busy with work, maybe bc bl is actually getting worse idk, or maybe i just dont have the effort the engage with something when i dont like it, or it just doesnt interest me. and speaking of what i do and don't like, i feel like this lack of patience has also come with this gradual change in what i want for the show. i know bl now, i know its out there, i know more and more is being made every year, im not in short supply of explicit queerness anymore. so now i can be more picky. if i find myself getting bored watching a show, i just wont watch it. and also bc ive been watching bl for years now, i feel like i am developing what my taste in bl is, and thats not exactly something i can describe, for me its more a i know it when i see it kinda thing. thats why i try a lot of shows out but am happy to drop them after a couple of eps when i know i dont vibe with them.

and with shows i dont drop, they usually fall into 2 categories; im actually enjoying it or im just waiting around to see where this goes. and to call myself out, bc of all these things i think it means that im... well, not less critical, but less able to be unbiased when watching a show i do like, bc hey this is the one show out of 10 going on this month that im obsessed with, of course im not gonna be critical of it. and thats not to say i should be critical of i hear the sunspot, more that im not bc my bias and taste just makes me like it. all the things people think are its flaws that i see with other shows, i just dont see, or dont care about, bc i just like it. and thats me with the pacing. in any other show i would probably be bored and impatient. but for me, bc of so many other things, bc of what theyve done with characters in the mean time, bc i just like these characters a lot, the way they interact, the way they think, the whole vibe of the show and what it says, im just not bothered by it. its not an issue to me. and thats my tangent on personal taste and how youre allowed to just not think that a show has flaws when you like it even if other people think its flawed and youre equally critical of other things but anyway.

back to i hear the sunspot. i dont know why i love this slowburn and lack of communication but i just do. maybe its bc the show doesnt feel rushed. ive been frustrated so many other times when shows wait until the final ep for the couple to get together, which im guessing this show is doing, but thats usually bc nothing else about the show is engaging me so it feels like im being left waiting. i dont feel like im left waiting here. here, i feel like everyone as a character is being valued and whatever time i spend with any of them, i love it. i dont find myself waiting until kohei and taichi get a scene together like i have with other shows bc everything else, everything with them individually, everything with maya, with taichi's friends, idk what else to say i just love it all. and that shows bc i cried just as hard at the scene with maya as i did at the scene with kohei and taichi.

and now for just some fave bits, starting with maya. i just love her. people were so ready to be annoyed with her and pick her apart, but i cant scream enough about how amazing it is that the show introduced a female antagonist and managed to, in my eyes anyway, turn her into someone i liked and felt for and just enjoyed watching. finally, a female antagonist that wasnt just disposable after she served her purpose. and whats better is that what we come to learn about her recontextualises her actions when she was first introduced. i just know upon a rewatch that when i first see her acting out and being mean to taichi, i might still be mad at her, but ill also see a girl that is struggling to make it look like she is fine, someone who is trying her hardest to make it appear that she doesnt try at all, that shes fine, shes no burden to anyone, that this huge thing that is scary and difficult to deal with, shes fine with, bc shes just that good, no biggie. that need to make it all seem casual, to not show weakness, is even exactly why she got mad at taichi in the first place, bc she thought he wasnt trying, he was just doing things casually and he was ok with letting people know he wasnt perfect. he didnt take perfect notes and that was ok, he was still trying his hardest. thats like the exact opposite of maya's mindset to be perfect but make it look like shes not trying. and i think that clash was a great thing to add to the show, and so rewarding when taichi finally hit the nail on the head and told her she didnt have to try so hard, that its ok to let, or even make, other people make the effort. its not sympathy or pity, its kindness.

and now for taichi and kohei. there was just so many things that i loved, the scene of kohei cutting onions with his mom, the whole montage in the classroom going through the highlights of taichi taking notes for kohei, the whole vibe at the end where it was never explicitly said but you just knew it was taichi's last day. and i adore the way that kohei didn't ask questions when taichi told him about dropping out, he just had that faith in taichi, there was nothing to question, he believed that whyever it was, whatever it was for, taichi had thought about it and made the decision and that was enough. instead he just talks about taichi, how hes amazing, making him feel good about himself so he can feel both confident in his decision and whatever he does next. and as for taichi, i know we all wanna know why he cant just say he likes kohei and get it over with, but i dont think thats the right sentiment to bring to the show, or at least not the one i have. whatever it is, i just dont mind, bc to me taichi is a person and if he cant bring himself to say it now or doesnt want to or doesnt think its the right time, thats fine. thats the kind of energy gives me anyway, that i shouldnt be pressing these characters for a reason. its similar to how the show doesnt feel rushed, its like im fine if taichi doesnt say it bc theres no deadline, you say your feelings when youre ready and want to and thats just up to him and im not here to rush him, neither is the show. it just gives him the space to figure things out and make his mind up and decide when the time is right, when he isnt on rocky ground with yknow new people being mean to him and making him doubt himself or questioning what he wants to do with his life and taking on something new - like if taichi is overwhelemed by all of that, its fine. and i can hear the argument oh show us that and like yeah, as i said for any other show id say that too but here i dont care. taichi not saying his feelings can be for any reason you want to come up with, the show doesnt need to give us one, nor do we need one to accept he hasnt done it, but also if you want a reason, theres more than enough to draw from the show to come to your own conclusions. that kinda sounds like the most pretencious defence of a show thatsputting off a confession for the final ep but hey its what i think and i vibe with that thinking so there.

honestly, what i feel about this show is that it didn't need to be a bl for me to watch it, bc i adore everything about it that id watch it even if it was just bromance or even pure friendship, but the fact it is that bc its a bl, because it has that romance, it makes it better. and maybe thats why im not bothered by the pacing, bc im not waiting for the bl moments, im just enjoying the show for what it is, for the story its telling, for the characters its created and the message its conveying. and god if i think about it ending next week i will bust a cry so for now, we live in denial.

[im-just-a-boy-guys]

BIG WEREWOLF STEP BROTHER/ X /LITTLE FEM BUNNY STEP BROTHER/ 5k words.

Part 1 HERE!

( I hate using Y/N but it will be used at least once.) BIG BRO TEACHES LITTLE BROTHER HOW TO JERK OFF T DICK AND MAKES HIM INTO THE PERFECT TOY.

(STEPCEST/FTM/FEM FTM/ AFAB/ X CIS STEP BROTHER/ MANIPULATION/ R@PE/ FORCED INTOX/ PASSING READER AROUND BETWEEN HIS FRIENDS)

PT 2

We both laughed as we raced to the back porch, our mother was waiting on the porch swing, while our dad was cleaning the freshly used grill. We took a deep breath in through our noses and could smell the char of what he'd cooked. They both smiled softly as they watched us emerge from the trail and the trees. Mom called out

"Dinner's ready! you're home just in time I made burgers and fries!!"

_____________________ slight recap ^^^^ (Continuation vvvv)

I jumped into the air and practically skipped my way to the porch

"Awesome! I love burgers! If you have grilled chicken I'd be happy to take that off your hands too!"

She nodded and ruffled my hair.

"You know I do short stuff. Let me correct myself since your closer. your dad made the burgers, I made the chicken and fries."

She giggled and kissed Dad on the cheek, wrapping happily around his waist. She leaned against his back, she was so in love with him, and I found myself imagining me and Cameron in the same position. My cheeks flushed once again and my mom walked over to me, pressing her cold hands to my cheeks.

"Are you alright dear? Feels like you have a slight fevor."

I laughed nervously and stepped back.

"No I'm fine, was probobly all of that running huh?"

I could feel Cameron's eyes on me and saw him smirking out of the corner of my eye. I had heard about testosterone-increasing libido but was only now starting to understand it to the full extent.

We ate dinner and I meandered up to my room, closed and locked my door, and stripped. I couldn't stop thinking about the way his nose felt pressed up against my clit. I laid down on my bed, tucked one of the extra pillows between my legs, and began to grind against it desperately.

I could've grabbed my vibrator, but since my clit had grown in size due to the testosterone, it was just easier to rub and grind against anything. This made me feel like I was in heat, but that didn't happen for another week or two.

I could feel my clit throbbing as I reached back with my fingers, using the wetness from my aching hole to lubricate myself. I imagined my fingers were his wet nose pushing against my clit in just the right way to tease me. My finger's slipped back and my imagination danced into the feeling of his tongue now, padding over my whole pussy. It must be so big, I needed it inside of me.

I squeaked softly as I felt his big paws grip around my thighs, he must've been watching me, but I didn't hear him come in. his nose was pressed right up against my whole, covering his maw in my wetness. I moaned out a little loudly and he gripped my face harshly.

"Shh- be quiet sweet boy. dont want Mom and Dad hearing now do we?"

He cooed deeply into my ear and my form shifted into the smaller, desperate bunny I wanted to be for him. I could feel him already shifted, his throbbing cock resting against my thigh as he investigated my dripping cunt. I wiggled back desperately against his face, panting needily. He gently played with my clit using one of his claws.

"You're on T huh? Your clit got really big- Now its like you have a cute little dick for me to playwith-"

He flipped me onto my back and slipped his shirt off, tucking it under me quickly before leaning down between my legs. Cameron guided my paws down to either side of my T-dick and began to help me rub myself. I was already salivating at the sensation, but with his paws guiding me, it felt even closer to heaven.

"That's right baby, just Keep on rubbing- such a good boy. I'm going to show you what a real man feels like, yeah?"

Cameron aligned himself with my hole, his tip barely fitting in as he pushed. I whimpered, but he kept his paw tightly over my mouth to muffle the noise, holding his weight up on his other arm that rested just above my shoulder. He pushed into me roughly, his tip felt big enough to rip me open. I practically screamed into his paw and started eagerly grinding against his tip.

"Good boy, see how good that feels to Jerk off your cute little dick for me?"

This was even more amazing than anything I could've imagined, he was so big and I wasn't sure I could take him. He began to gently and slowly thrust his hips, his arm keeping me in place as he moved.

Cameron gradually kept pushing more and more into me until I was stretched all the way around his cock, taking him almost to the knot. I felt his pointed tip tickling my cervix, drooling against his paw as my eyes rolled back into my head. He grunted and panted, his thrusts becoming more sloppy as he picked up speed. His gruff voice sounded strained as he looked down at me.

"Think you could keep quiet if i moved my paw, bunny?"

I nodded and bit my lip softly, he removed his paw and placed it above my other shoulder. Now that he had proper leverage, he sank his claws into my mattress and slammed his hips aggressively into my pussy, his knot threatening entry.

I carefully moved my legs to his shoulders, the best I could reach, letting my brother fold me in half almost. I needed his knot badly, I wanted to be full of his cum. Cameron smirked down at me, bearing his teeth, and laughed mockingly.

"Yeah? Do you want my knot that bad, sweet boy?"

"Mhm!"

I whined though I tried to keep quiet. He grunted and rammed his hips into me a few times, hitting a few of my sweet spots and my body spasmed as I squirted over his cock and thighs, this allowed him enough lubrication for him to force his knot inside of me, locking me in place as he pumped me full of his thick, hot, sticky cum.

Before I could even process how full I was, he pulled his Knot out of me, covering my mouth with his paw again. This was good because I screamed into it.

He slinked down my body, his head between my legs once again, and pushed his nose against my clit. I moaned softly into the wetness, then gasped as I felt his warm tongue wrapping around my sensitive T-dick. My hips bucked and I tried to squirm out of his grasp, I felt far too sensitive to properly get off, but Cameron didn't seem to care much.

"Cameron!!"

I moaned into his hand. as I tried to push him off of me. He used his free arm to hold me down by my chest.

"Ah- ah- Ah- Stay still for me, pretty boy, I've been wanting to taste you since you got here- and you're going to let me-"

I nodded and tried to keep my squirming to a minimum. He teased me for what felt like hours, and it drove me insane, I must've squirted 5 times.

Once he was done with me, he sat up on his knees, smiling and whining off his face. He looked so handsome in the moonlight as it shined off his beautiful skin. I was so in love with how handsome he was. Cameron leaned down and licked my cheek.

" Alright, bun. Get cleaned up - I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow, yeah?"

He chuckled and snuck out of my bedroom. For the next couple of weeks, he left me deprived. No secret late-night visits, no sneaky touches, just brotherly love.

I wanted him to touch me so desperately. I'd go into my room, leaving the door cracked while I touched myself in my panties, and when he passed by, he didn't even stop to look, not even so much as a sideways glance. What did I do? Was my squirting gross? Was I gross? Mas my clit to big and embarrassing? I hated myself so much. I could barely live without his attention.

One night, Mom and Dad had left to go out to dinner and had texted the family group chat that they were staying at a hotel.

'Lucky.'

I thought to myself. I was so frustrated, emotionally and otherwise. I laid down on the couch and watched a movie, sulking in my own loneliness.

I heard noises and shouting coming from outside and sat up to investigate, seeing my brother and his friends, Liam, Chance, and Calin walk through the door. I was pretty sure Liam, a scruffy looking blonde, was a tiger hybrid, and Calin was a dear or goat hybrid. I couldn't remember the other friend was, though. They wrestled their way in and laughed with eachother.

"Hey (y/n) !"

Cameron laughed and waved at me. He smiled, not even a Sparky smirk or his fangs showing in the way they used to. My gut sank.

"Hey..."

I mumbled and lay down, returning to my movie. He ushered his friends up the stairs and turned to look at me. Nothing special in his eyes.

"Hey, me and my friends are going to smoke in my room, if Mom or Dad come home text me SOS."

"No problem."

I replied, forcing a soft smile. When he disappeared, I sighed and wept softly into the throw pillow beneath my head. I covered up with a blanket and fell asleep eventually. I woke up later to soft whispers but kept my eyes closed as I tried to process if it was a dream or not.

"Shh. Be quiet or you'll wake him up, stupid."

Cameron? What's he doing downstairs?

"Him? But she's got tits-"

A loud thud sounded as Chance was cut off.

"OUCH! Shit- what the fuck-"

"He's more of a man than you are. His dick is bigger."

Cameron laughed and stroked my head softly, I couldn't help but lean into his hand. I hoped he was smiling at me. Calin sounded confused.

"A dick? How-"

"When you take testosterone, it could make a person's clit bigger. So they end up having a little trans dick and it's super cute to play with. It's just as sensitive as any other dick. I've seen it in porn."

He's never sounded more stupid.

"So when do we get to touch 'him' ?"

"Woah. Calm down there, R Kelly. Exited rapist much? Give it a minute."

Touch me? What?

Cameron gently shook me 'awake'. I sat up and mumbled softly,

" What- is it- are Mom and Dad home?"

"Haha. No. Just wanted to see if you wanted to learn how to smoke with us, I'd rather you do it in a safe space. Plus, with us around, you'll have - Loads of fun -"

"Oh sure, I guess."

I gently folded up the blanket to the side, having fallen asleep in my soft, red panties and a black band tee shirt. To hide my underwear at least a little, I sat with my legs folded to the side.

"Here, you sit in the middle, and you can take the first hit. I'll show you how it's done."

Cameron lit the joint and put the filter to my lips. His hands were so big and his fingers were right against my lips.

"Suck in softly only for a second. Like a straw. Inhale, exhale. You can breathe it in when you get better at smoking, but he'll. That's how I smoke anyway. It's easier to manage."

I did as he said and pondered the taste and smell. It was better than a cigarette smell, so there was that. I was attacked a little by a soft bunch of coughs. He put on a movie while I was taking the hit and the "Pineapple Express' began to play. The other boys guys laughed at me softly, but I didn't take it personally. It seemed silly to be taking my first hit of something around people who must practically breathe the stuff.

"Right, so we pass it back and forth, up and down the line. I'll sit next to you and I'll have my arm behind you in case you don't feel good, alright?"

I nodded and passed the joint to him, watching as he inhaled, leaned his head back, and blew the smoke out. His neck stretched and his collar bones flexed softly in his v-neck tee shirt. It was the most delicious thing I'd ever seen of him, and I was starved of his affections.

He spotted me staring and smiled down at me with a soft smirk that made my heart pound. I looked down shyly, and my face covered itself in red. Most of them softly melded into their animal forms as we passed the joint back and forth. I hadn't paid attention to how many they'd lit if more than one.

I felt my ears extend and my tail wiggle softly as I slipped into a colorful daze, barely being able to pick up on any conversation that was had, leaning against Cameron and resting my legs across Liam. He didn't seem to be paying me any attention but rubbed my thigh gently as my brother held me, one arm around me. I mumbled softly.

"I'm very thirsty..."

I hid my face behind my ears, embarrassed of my needs. Cameron laughed, and I peeked through my ears, seeing his hooded eyes, the dark circles backed by a soft red that clouded the whites of his glassy eyes.

"Calin, grab him a ice water please?"

The blonde smiled and gave a playful two finger solute, disappearing into the kitchen.

"I cant..really move or hold- myself up-"

I tried to sit up, preparing for my water, but found quickly that this was very true and I was immobile. Cameron picked me up and sat me in his lap. I was happy with this initially, pleased with the idea of him helping me, and his crotch being right up against my dripping hole. When I felt Liam's strong hands on my thighs and my brother's even stronger arms around my body, I was in a soft trance of imagining disgusting things.

Cameron gently lifted my legs, putting them on the outsides of his, and held my legs open, exposing my panties and the small wet patch that had accumulated. I tried to squirm but was granted no such freedom as his hands began to roam all over my sensitive body. I leaned my head back against his shoulder and gasped softly, unable to contain myself.

I shrank fully into my bunny form and I could see them around me taking their full forms as well. Calin walked into the room and my brother took the glass into his hand and held my face with the other. He opened my mouth and poured the water in carefully before setting it to the side.

"You just let me know if you need any more water, alright? But take it slow. Liam. You've been polite, you get first dibs."

The dear man walked over quietly. He seemed reserved but just as big and strong as my brother's other friends. I watched him as he slipped out of his basketball shorts and revealed his throbbing cock.

"Open your mouth sweet boy-"

Cameron cooed in my ear but I clenched my mouth shut, hesitating. He gripped my face, forcing my jaw open.

"That wasn't a request, Doll. Now stick your tongue out and be good."

I did just that and looked up at Liam, watching him step closer and tease himself by gently rubbing his tip all over my tongue.

His moans were so soft and addicting, I almost came without even being touched. I loved how much I was getting him off, I could already taste his cum.

I was able to regain a little of my movement, gently grinding back against my brother's cock that I could feel hardening beneath me in his jeans.

I pushed my head forward lightly, Cameron helping hold my throat so I could please his friend's property. chance and Calin stood next to me on either side, jerking themselves off, occasionally pressing their tips to my cheeks, commenting on how soft they were.

Once I gained slight control of my limbs I reached out for them and the two boys helped guide my hands to stroke them. I could feel the throbbing veins against my paws, smiling dumbly and I let my eyes glaze over.

My mouth closed softly around Liam's cock as he began to gently thrust against my tongue, the dear boy panted softly as he rested his hands on my head, gripping my hair softly.

My brother grabbed my hip with one hand and breathed into my ear, grinding against me like he needed me. And god had I missed that. He fought to get his pants off and ripped my panties open, careful not to disturb my progress with his friends while he shoved his warm, thick dick into my dripping cunt.

I moaned out around Liam's length and moved my tongue against him, he whimpered softly and gasped. His cock pulled a couple of times, was he close already? I wanted to feel his cum fill my throat so badly.

Cameron no longer needed to hold me up as I had sobered up slightly, and held both of my hips in his giant hands. He thrusted into me roughly, the tip pushing against my cervix most perfectly. As he moved he moaned out.

"God I've missed you! Fuck I've been trying to hold off but you be been teasing me- and now we get to have our way with you.. Like the slut we know you are- isn't that right, baby brother?"

I drooled around Liam as he spoke, taking more and more of his length into my throat and smiling as best I could with my mouth full.

"Mhm!!!"

I moaned out and Liam groaned loudly, gripping my hair and plunging himself into my throat. His hot cum poured into my stomach as I swallowed happily. He pulled out of my mouth and fell back onto the floor, panting softly. I coughed softly and smiled dumbly.

Calin stepped in front of me, his dick was even bigger than Liam's, and I was eager to taste, immediately looking up at him with doe eyes and opening my mouth.

He groaned and dug his claws into my head, thrusting roughly all the way into my throat, causing me to gag and sputter around him, it was one of the best feelings ever, being used like this. I used both of my hands to rub Chance off, and he moaned lewdly, fucking into my paw pads. Soon, he came on my cheeks and sat down on the corner of the couch, waiting for his turn with my mouth.

Cameron continued to fuck himself silly into me, he came in me multiple times, using the last load to lubricate the both of us for the rest. He bit into my neck and licked all over me, anything he could do to bury my scent into his sinus and feel as close to me as possible.

I continued to moan over Calin as he used my throat, fast and rough. I could feel his claws against the base of my skull as he used me like a flashlight. I tried to move my tongue around him, having a rough time keeping my jaw from locking. Soon he pushed his cock into the back of my throat and pulled out to his tip, softly fucking my lips as he came harshly into my mouth.

"Like a straw pretty boy- suck"

He growled down at me. And I was happy to oblige, moving both of my hands to treat him, one on his knot and the other on his shaft, helping milk him into my mouth. I swallowed happily and blushed as he pulled out and laughed.

"Damnit, he's good."

My brother laughed deeply and wrapped both of his arms around my waist, rapidly moving his hips against me, my legs gently kicking with pleasure as I squirted over him.

"Fuckk! Fuck fuck!!!"

I screamed out loudly as I happily rode out my orgasm on his knot. He sighed happily, and I climbed off of him gingerly, making my way to change on the floor.

I took his cock into my hands, smiling as I took his tip into my mouth. He was the only one who hadn't let himself transform yet, melting into his Lion form, his ruff growing large and fluffy, his knot filling with arousal as he watched me. He pet my head gently as I pleased him, bobbing my head up and down as I massaged his knot and length.

I felt something warm and wet against my clit and a warm set of arms wrap around my thighs, looked down and saw Liam, looking up at me with his soft eyes as he sucked on my Tdick, pushing his head against me and bobbing his head just like I was.

I pushed my hips into his affections and worked extra hard to please Chance, looking up at him with big eyes, hoping he would take advantage of my mouth the way his friend had.

He obliged and gripped my hair, moving his hips against my mouth as he thrusted into my throat, it almost felt like he was fucking my brain, and my eyes rolled back into my head.

During my brain-dead, fuzzy blur, I felt myself squirt a few times into Liam's mouth, but he kept going pleasantly.

He moaned quietly against my pussy, his tongue traveling down to my cum filled entrance occasionally.

I could feel Chances dick pulsing against the walls of my throat and quickly following a burst of cum flooded my esophagus. This time, I wasn't as prepared and struggled to get off of him as he milked his cock into my face.

"Mm!! Mn!!!"

I struggled, and he finally let me up, I choked and sputtered for a moment and tried to swallow what I could. Liam checked on me and Chance laughed softly.

"Sorry, sweetheart. You alright? I got carried away- you just felt so fuckin' good-"

I smiled dazedly and leaned against Liam. He handed me to my brother, and Cameron cradled me softly in his arms and carried me up, putting me in a hot bath. The water was so warm that I almost fell asleep, but I tried to clean myself as best I could.

I was just happy other animals couldn't properly mate without measures being taken to try and force it. I relaxed back against the walls and heard moving downstairs. I assumed they were cleaning up but didn't pay it much mind.

I daydreamed of all of their different affections and how sweet they all tasted and were in their own ways, fawning over them all, but especially my brother. The way he was laying, cum covered, and the way his body was shaped drove me crazy, and it always would.

[loving-n0t-heyting]

Hi! So, seeing you in my notes reminded me that I meant to ask you about that Instrumentality poll. Being as I am tumblr user 人類補完計画, I have, asyoumightimagine, a lot of interest in the topic, and I'd be very curious to hear *your* thoughts on Shinji's choice - in part because you mentioned in the tags that you were wondering whether your take aligned with the consensus view, but also because I feel like you're among the most distinctive & intellectually honest philosophical voices I've encountered on here, and I do wonder how your faith, along with your overall view on things, influences your take(s) re:EoE.

I was going to wait until the poll finally closed but i think its been plateauing for a couple of days now anyway so i might as well. This is all going to be pretty vague and mysticism-y ofc, especially given the vagueness and mysticism of the source material itself, and im going off of memory on top of that (i am not putting myself thru the emotional hurdle of rewatching EoE just for a post, sorry)

So, first off, my interpretation of shinjis ultimate choice is to reject instrumentality for all of humanity, to retain our ATFs and our individuality. And i lean towards thinking this was a mistake, on his part. I sometimes see ppl suggest that he offered everyone a choice to either join or refuse instrumentality, but i tend to think this is just projection; idr anything in the text to clearly support this

Im not really sure how to go about arguing for this position directly, beyond rebutting objections. To the extent we are given a clear explanation of what an ATF is, it is smth like the secrecy of our own thoughts and desires and personality; ie, others ignorance of those things. Ignorance is a terrible thing, just generally, in itself! Like impotence. Its terrible in proportion to the importance/value of the things one is ignorant of, and ppl are about the most valuable things there are. Thats much of whats so bad about death, which is why it makes perfect sense the dead get to join in HI as well. So, putting it all together, the presence of ATFs is a terrible imposition, and their removal thru HI is a great blessing, maybe even the greatest possible blessing. And this shows itself in the end of strife and discord and the beginning of real unity of spirit and will, but its already present in the mere dissolution of interpersonal ignorance

The narrative itself frames this as an erasure of individuality, but im not sure how to understand this. Is the idea supposed to be that we would not survive the loss of our ATFs? Im not sure thats even intelligible: the loss of our ATFs is just the lifting of certain kinds of ignorance or, in other words, the instilling of certain kinds of knowledge. Knowledge in whom? In those undergoing human instrumentality. So clearly we survive HI, if it involves us coming into knowledge, and thus being around to know these things. Is this supposed to mean our distinctive contributions to the diversity of human experience etc would all be destroyed in favour of some uniform replacement? I dont see why that would be necessary; we can certainly imagine ways ppls varying idiosyncratic quirks can all "make it into" some sufficiently rich collaborative work. Why should HI not be the same? I suppose the fact it involves everyones bodies into a homogeneous sea of yellow goop speaks against this, but my inclination is to read this as a sort of pupal stage from which a mature instrumentalised humanity can emerge. Tho thats admittedly a bit of a reach

Theres yet another negative interpretation of the "destruction of individuality" i sometimes hear: that it would somehow rob us each of our agency and ability to shape the world in accord with our desires and beliefs. This goes along with a worry that the inauguration of HI would necessarily be a violation of consent and mental autonomy, which strikes me as misguided for much the same reason. Our ignorance of one another is not an individual condition of oneself in particular one can opt in or out of irrespective of the choices of others; if my not being able to retsin my ATF is a violation of my "autonomy", why is my retaining my ATF not in turn a violation of the autonomy of the others being thereby kept ignorant of my deepest self? Mutual ignorance of one anothers mental states (including that very ignorance) is in no interesting way reducible to the ignorant subjects each having certain "individual" or "intrinsic" or "internal" states that can individually and unilaterally be shifted without affecting those of the others; it is an "external" relation. So thinking about HI in terms of individual, unilaterally revocable consent is confused; the fact it is changing is irreducibly collective, and thus consent to it and only be given or refused collectively if at all. Hopefully thats not too opaque

This reply feeds into my answer to the worry about the dilution of ones agency and control over the world. This objection makes sense against a background view on which, for an agent A to control the answer to a question Q and a distinct agent A* to control the answer to a question Q*, Q and Q* must be modally independent: any answer to the latter must be compossible with any answer to the former. Or that, if this isnt true, this is bc As control over Q or A*s over Q* must be only "limited" or "partial" or w/e. My rejection of this assumption (which is i think what lies behind the last objection about autonomy) is probably my deepest, most abstract anti-liberal commitment. Its a conception of control or freedom that i think ultimately requires a debilitatingly narrow view of what full freedom could look like, or of what facts can amount to states of a person. (For example, i think it prolly requires you to say that knowing that the sun rises, a property entailing the "external" fact that the sun rises, is not actually a state of a person, in some important sense, rather than smth like a conjunction of a state of a person and a state of the horizon/sun.) But going all the way into this would probably take a lengthy book; mb i will try to work it out slightly more precisely at some point tho

You asked how my feeling about EoE connect with my faith, and broader view of the world. This illiberal assumption is close to the heart of it. I am always tempted in this context to quote marxs comments in the 1848 manuscripts about the whole of nature being the "inorganic body of man", and i dont think im alone in seeing connections between those passages and remarks like pauls about the mystical body of the church ("So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another." Now there is smth for mereologists to chew on!!) And this is a trend you see elsewhere in the Christian tradition, like dantes description of the celestial eagle in paradiso xviii-xx. I was surprised, when talking to an atheist friend about my tentative support for HI, that they said my christianity made sense of my disagreement with them about this point; not bc i dont think theres a connection but bc idt of these emphases on the unity of the mystical body as particularly prominent in outsiders impressions of Christian belief

Anyway, hopefully that was at least somewhat illuminating. Thx for the kind words ^^