#But I am Queer and that makes my blog and my experiences Queer

[thcboy]

i got this blog literally yesterday and im alr gna log out for a bit, vent in the tags sighh

[ms-all-sunday]

just popping in to say that i adore your meta posts and i love how you talk about certain characters, particularly nami, usopp, and sanji. so much of op discussion/meta is so stagnant and boring to me because it's all the same. very rarely do i see differing interpretations and i find your specific analysis of them so interesting

Oh you're so nice. Thank you. I've actually never gotten a direct compliment like this before. I'm so glad I can provide.

[anaalnathrakhs]

i've had to unfollow a couple of aro-positivity blogs bc they hammer how at the same time they complain about friendships being deemed lesser than romance, and also about romantic shipping somehow ruining every canon or fanon friendship/platonic/etc thing those characters had.

"Why do you ship those characters???? Do you hate platonic friendships????" Well you see, they're friends in canon, and various relationship settings are interesting to explore between characters who have a strong bond. The same way people write pre-dating pining/falling in love/backstory/just being friends stories for canon couples. Just like sometimes people decide those two were matched in a way that doesn't jive with them and break them up in their fanfic.

"Shipping a character who doesn't have a love interest in canon is arophobia!!!" Yeah and you can only have one OTP else the characters are cheating on each other. Each pairing can only be written with a dynamic as close to canon as possible, else you just don't understand the source material. Writing an interpretation of the source means that you think that's exactly what the original writer implied, and the only correct interpretation.

"Shipping an aro character is just like making a gay character straight!!!" Neither of which are actually inherently bad and poorly handled things. Excluding making a case for characters being romance-positive/demi/gray/in qprs/etc while incorporating canon/subtext/word-of-god aro elements, because ppl writing those posts are often (rightfully) cool with it, it's also just. yknow. fine. Case-by-case, if you will. Sometimes a character dynamic would be interesting because characters are more than their orientation and also NOT REAL PEOPLE with no internal lives, likes and dislikes, boundaries, etc. You can modify things about them. It can be done in a poor manner, and denote a misunderstanding of aro issues and identities, or straight up bigotry. It can also just be that it's interesting to write about. Like genderbends for example. Many of the same arguments can be used there.

Anyway. Of course amatonormativity is real, and very present, and overwhelming, and exhausting. But the thing is that no fanfic interpretation REPLACES the original text or another interpretation. Friendships and other platonic relationships are not valued enough, given enough spotlight in media. But the answer to that isn't to chastize people for being creative and violating the integrity of a fictional character's identity. Encourage depictions and explorations of less normative relationships (not in the romantic sense of the word, all kinds of relationships), as well as the weight they hold. Educate people on aromanticism, amatonormativity, etc. I know you're already doing it, and it's not working, but trying to shame people for being creative is not gonna make it work faster.

Also re: in most cases, characters should not use therapy-speak to communicate or think, because that's not how people function in real life. Same thing applies. Just like internalize homophobia is a staple of many gay fanfics that wish to deal (however superficially and however in-depth as they'd like) with the topic, amatonormativity is going to be a feature of many fanfics about characters living in a world that, modeled after ours or not, was still created by people living in the same amatonormativity as we are. Usually, unless they actively work to insert non-amatonormative elements in their worldbuilding or specific story setting, writers will create a world through the prism of our society's amatonormativity, thus creating an amatonormative setting producing characters that think amatonormatively. It doesn't stop them experiencing things outside of the realm of that "normality", but it does influence the way they'll think and act about it.

There's few situations in which a long internal monologue about which modern queer lingo is appropriate for their feelings doesn't feel a bit shoehorned (and no hate if you want to write or read a feelgood piece instead of detailing internalized bigotry in all its complexity, to be clear, but that's a writing choice not a moral requirement to signify that This Author is Aro-Positive). Thus, characters will think about, act, narrate their story, etc, as they experience it, with the knowledge and vocabulary they have. Every action is only as romantic/platonic as the people doing it intend to make it, and every action you see on screen is up to your interpretation because characters don't have intentions.

I can write about two characters having sex, and not include a huge paragraph about how totally romanticism-less this whole thing is, because it would be completely out of character for them to apprehend these concepts in these words, and I don't want to tackle the WHOLE damn split-attraction model or every possible non-amatonormative way to conceptualize fuckbuddies arrangements, because I'm writing prose and not an educative guide. They fall for amatonormative ideas that are restrictive and don't encompass the full spectrum of human relationships. Hell, maybe the writer does too, even if they do challenge some other amatonormative ideas. But in any case, it does not erase any narrative of platonic feelings for those characters. The flavor-text reiterating amatonormative ideas ("this COULDN'T have been friendship" "relationships fixed them and they were so so sad and miserable before", etc) is annoying, but 1st of all educating is always better than chastizing, and 2nd of all sometimes prose is just hyperbolic like that, idk, there's notes of biphobia in how some stories highlight the character's first gay experience, but it's also just resonating and amplifying the feelings some people really do feel in these situations. That's a writing thing. Not universal to every style, but common.

yeah. non-amatonormative rep is good. less creative endeavors is bad.

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

The final part for The House of Glass! Everyone has a lot to figure out, but progress takes time. Follows from this. This was my first ever complete comic from start to finish, I hope you guys enjoyed the journey!

If you've enjoyed this comic, please consider donating to Aya Yasser, a 19 year old university student from the University of Palestine. She had to pause her studies due to attacks on Gaza. Her 55 year old father is ill and she is trying to evacuate him and her brothers.

You can find her blog @samaagaza

It's like two in the morning right now so I might be a bit incoherent, cw for discussions of racism, homophobia, biphobia, sinophobia and classism

I've really wanted to write Chang as someone who's made to be a perpetual outsider. As a Chinese person born in the UK I've always been made to feel like a foreigner no matter where I go - obviously I am a foreigner abroad but I'm also treated as such in the very country I was born and raised in. I think a lot of east Asian people can relate to being treated as a strange exotic foreigner first and a person second.

As a working class orphan he would probably have been treated as disposable by society at large too. As soon as he's rescued by Tintin in the Blue Lotus he immediately asks why Tintin bothered saving him, and in his letter to Tintin in Tintin in Tibet he writes that he's unworthy of his uncle's hopsitality. We don't get much from Chang as he doesn't make many appearances but it seems he's internalised strong feelings of a lack of self worth. Tintin may have been the first person to recognise his humanity since Chang's birth family passed.

Being queer is also very isolating at first. You're not born into a culture you can reference or make sense of your experiences initially, it's something you have to seek out. I wanted to explore learning to love yourself through others. We're all weird to some degree, we're all in this together!

I genuinely have no clue how I'd follow this up, I have ideas for future stories but I'm not sure what would follow directly from here!

[genderqueerdykes]

honestly, as a trans woman who's running a fairly 'popular' or whatever queer blog, i've noticed so much shit in the past 2 years and i'm just gonna lay it out for y'all. it's a new year. it's 2025. i do NOT wanna carry any more of this bullshit forward. i'm calling everything for what it is. if this pisses you off, unfollow or block and move on.

as someone else put it in the tags on one of my other posts:

i am sick and tired of not talking about extremely important queer conversation topics for the sake of "keeping the peace".

this is not giving trans women and transfemmes a better quality of life to attack literally every every and all trans men for being trans men. it's making people fucking scared shitless of us. i hope people realize this isn't helping improve the opinion other people have on trans women and transfemmes. it's making people absolutely fucking terrified to even exist around us, because we've gotten to the point where we're attacking literally everyone and anyone who says something we don't like. people are fucking terrified of talking around transfemmes and trans women and it's time we broke the silence on that.

other transfemmes and trans women: do you seriously, really want other trans people to be scared to death of you? do you really want other trans people to be absolutely fucking terrified to speak around you because they're scared of getting fucking yelled at? do you really want other trans people to be utterly terrified to speak up about their own trans issues for fear of being told they hate you? do you really want other people around you to feel utterly terrified to talk about anything queer related at all for fear of being corrected, looked down upon, or verbally harassed?

i am just completely done with this environment we've fostered where basically everyone is on pins and goddamn needles holding themselves back from having real, genuine, impactful, substantial conversations about gender because they're absolutely scared shitless of being called transmisogynistic and publicly cancelled and harassed at all times for saying something as simple as "trans men don't have it easy" or talking about how AFAB people can also be trans. it really does not take much at all to set people off on this website and start accusing people of being transmisogynists left right and center.

i'm not participating in this weird mind game anymore. i do not like how this is being used to control the narrative on transness and trans experiences.

i am done with having to walk on eggshells in every. single. conversation. we have about gender.

i am done with acting like talking about transmasculinity and transmanhood is somehow magically attacking and silencing trans women and transfemmes.

i am done with people having to tack on massive disclaimers saying that they're not attacking trans women and transfemmes just for talking about their experiences on just about every post people write about gender.

i feel like every conversation about gender on here has to be so fucking sterile and calculated and meticulously planned out and stripped of most of its contents in order to not immediately get slammed with a "oh so you hate trans women" or a "oh so you're transmisogynstic." it's fine to point out genuine transmisogyny, i'm not gonna say you have to put up with it when it's real, but can we acknowledge that people are leveraging the fear other people have of being called transmisogynistic to shut people up?

at this point it's being used as a scare tactic and i'm so over it. i loathe how accusing people of being transmisogynistic is a default insult. trans men can't make a post about transmasculinity without someone getting pissed off and calling them transmisogynistic. trans men can't talk about a goddamn thing without being told to shut up, for some reason? why is this happening? like literally why are you doing this? trans men can't talk about ANYTHING at this point. like they needed to be able to coin words for the specific types of oppression they face so they could talk about it, and instead they just get fucking yelled at and told they're being copycats and that the violence they faced wasn't real? what the actual hell is this accomplishing?

why are we acting like we own oppression and no one else can even come close to understanding what its like? come on now, we don't own the goddamn concept of oppression. we also don't own transness. i am sick to death of this idea that transfemininity and trans womanhood are the only "real" ways to be trans. we do not own the concept of transness. it's not just about us. "trans rights" applies to more than just us. it can't be about us all the time. WE are the ones being self centered right now. WE are the ones who are forcing the conversation to be about us in situations where it's completely and totally inappropriate.

we need to say it for what it is: we're fostering an environment where, at this point, only trans women and transfemmes are allowed to talk about anything queer related at this point. like can we call it for what it is? for some reason, trans men and transmascs aren't allowed to talk about trans manhood or transmasculinity at all. ever. they're not allowed to say a fucking peep. they have to shut up and listen to a trans woman explain it to them, because for some reason, the trans woman knows trans manhood better than the trans man. this is out of fucking control, we should not have trans women explaining trans manhood to other people unless they are also a trans man. this is just unacceptable. transfems attack transmascs who speak for transfems, and yet this is seen as good and the norm?

you are not cool if you hate trans men and misgender them on purpose. this isn't feminist. this isn't progressive. you're not getting back at the patriarchy- most trans men do not benefit from patriarchy and never will- you would understand this if you listened to them. instead of talking over and for trans men, and listening to people who talk over and for trans men, if you listened to trans men, the source, you'd understand that no, transmasculine lives are NOT easy and no, trans men do not instantly benefit from patriarchal society if at all, ever. if you listened you'd understand that T doesn't make people aggressive and hostile and evil. if you listened you'd understand that there are a lot of wonderful, loving trans men out there are who are not transmisogynistic just by virtue of existing.

nobody is saying that we want to you prioritize men over trans women when we talk about trans men's rights. we're not saying that we need to talk about men all the time and never talk about women, and that men are the only ones allowed to talk, now. we really have to let multiple people participate in conversations. we can't keep doing this thing where One Gender Has To Be Superior Over another. that's gender essentialism. why must you keep yourself trapped inside the binary like that? why are you so desperate to stay stuck inside of the machine that's trying to destroy you?

challenging someone else's transphobia is not being transphobic. challenging someone else's behavior is not hating them or their gender. criticism is not an attack on trans womanhood and transfemininity. transfemmes are trans women are not immune to criticism and we need to stop acting like we are. we're not. we've created an echo chamber where only trans women and transfemmes are allowed to talk right now and it's not transmisogynistic to point that out, because it's literally happening before our eyes.

if we're demanding that other people treat us better, why are we treating other people like shit in the process to get it?

stop silencing other people talking about other trans experiences. transfemininity and trans womanhood are not the only ways to be trans. stop forcing yourself into conversations you don't belong in. if you don't want trans men do that, don't do it as a trans woman. don't barge into conversations you have literally 0 stock in just to be rude and mean and make the conversation about trans women instead. let other people talk. this has gone on for way too long.

let. other. trans. people. talk. we shouldn't have let it get this bad. but i'm not letting it stay this bad. if you want to accuse people having genuine conversations about transness of being transmisogynistic just because they're not a trans woman, then feel free, i'm not gonna stop you, but i'm not listening to you. i don't care anymore. i'm sick to death of not being able to have REAL conversations on here because some people don't like being reminded that they are not the only people who suffer under cisheteronormative patriarchy. if you can't accept that you are not the only one who suffers under patriarchy and that men need to be liberated from patriarchy as well, then i'm not interested in having a conversation with you to begin with.

seriously, if any of this bothers you, please just block me. i'm not participating in these dumb ass little mind games anymore. i do not give a singular shit about offending people who think this behavior is okay. i spent way too long being afraid to speak up about real world issues because of shitty internet trolls. i don't give a fuck if someone you don't like speaking about their experiences hurts your feelings- you are the problem here.

this is affecting real people in real time and i care about that. i care about people, not stupid ideologies and fighting over who is or isn't "really trans". i care about people, not fighting over labels. open your mind and understand that is is about real ass people, and not just ideologies. trans men and mascs are real ass people. they're not antagonists made specifically to attack and piss off transfemmes and trans women. enough of this.

[thydungeongal]

Okay, so I'm going to explain gleeblor by going back to the feeling that inspired my very first post on it:

I've been running this blog for quite a while and while I would never claim to be knowledgeable of the entire variety of RPGs out there I do consider myself more knowledgeable than the median RPG enthusiast. Now, a lot of people who end up commenting on my posts have very narrow experiences with RPGs as a medium, sometimes having literally only ever played D&D and maybe another game. And when communicating with my audience I often find myself in a situation like. Oh hell, this person thinks that D&D is the default RPG, the template on which all RPGs are based on, and the concept I am trying to explain simply does not make sense to them because they think D&D is the default.

So in the very first post I made about gleeblor it acted as a shorthand for "RPG fact that is self-evident to me but sounds bizarre to someone with a narrow experience with RPGs" and for the alienation I felt with my audience having to explain the fact that. Not all RPGs are D&D. Literally, I described it as feeling like I was an alien explaining a concept that made no sense to humans.

Anyway, things that have been gleeblor to people in my notes:

The idea that an RPG does not necessarily need to have Encounters (this is what started it all and. The incredulity people expressed at the idea that things could even happen in a game if it didn't have Encounters.)

The fact that there are textually queer RPGs out there besides just Thirsty Sword Lesbians

That a game supporting romance is not just a table issue but can in fact be a factor in the actual rules and structure of a game

That a game does not need to have an "adventuring party" structure of the player characters being united in going against adversity together

[mosesdumpin]

hey btw I have two big questions about XG that prolly don't have an explicit answer but I don't really hear the fandom discussing: 1) like... how aware is the team/the members of what, to me and prolly most culturally western queers, comes off as queer dogwhistling? Are they intentionally courting that crowd or is some of it cultural ignorance? Is there enough of a distinction in korean/japanese culture from western culture to distinguish between queerbaiting and queer dogwhistling (the first being cowardly dodging committing to queer support, the second being intentionally dogwhistling to maintain a mainstream voice while supporting queerness when the mainstream otherwise wouldn't) (I know thats more than one question, but its just clarifications on what would otherwise be a quick yes or no) and 2) is this not talked about because its just a kpop thing I don't understand or are some of these symbols/actions just common in the kpop culture to the point where its cultural meaning is lost/different?

Like the TGIF MV has the very gender non-conforming but misguided bathroom sign that became a minor meme a while ago (m, f bathroom signs then a symbol mixing both, then an alien with related text) which fits the theme of "aliens" that they are going for but also feels like an escalation from their general vibe of "be free to be what you are, and be stronger for it" This just seems the most obvious to point out. One thing that initially worried me with the group is their constant reassertion of "womanhood" (Mascara, GRL GVNG, lit every song) which sorta yells TERF energy alongside Mascara's specifically heteronormativity. To me, because of my lack of previous kpop/jpop/c-pop exposure, I forgave this is different steps of queer cultural acceptance and tried to set more lax expectations. Except as time went on, I noticed that beyond a few "gendered" references to their attractiveness (I look so lavish, dont be fooled by pretty faces, etc, all only arguably gendered in english) they don't specifically work to define womanhood in the way I would expect. GRL GVNG is an easy to explain example. Despite the song constantly reaffirming that these are women, their crew are women, and "female empire" there isn't really some affirmation of what that is besides... just what they are calling themselves. To hammer in the point, exchange each gendered word for the male alternative and the song doesn't make any less sense. To me, this could still be an example of TERF energy, but it comes off as specifically intending to compare themselves to what is often viewed as a distinct genre - boy groups, and undermine the expectations of what a girl group is supposed to be. It FEELS less like "women can be strong too" and more like "we are strong, sucks you would assume differently" and I wonder how intentional that distinction is? Not to mention they've hosted clearly queer fans on their publicly released content, but this one I am less confident in pointing out since this could simply be the differences of cultural gender expressions making XG more ignorant and/or kpop at large doing the same thing without it being meaningful. Maybe I am imagining it as well, but the most tenuous evidence is that they sometimes put a LOT of distinct emphasis on phrases like "Be your truest self" and "celebrate diversity" among other (perhaps dated) queer catchphrases with some really coy interactions between the girls that sit in the blurred line of platonic social behavior. Ofc I WANT the performers I am invested in to be surprisingly queer friendly, and I am aware of confirmation bias. Worst case scenario is my instinct about TERF energy is correct but the middle ground would be that all of this is mostly accidental but not antithesis to what they want to convey. I know young kpop groups are very intentionally private about their personal lives, especially regarding sex and dating (for kinda gross reasons, but tbh everyone is better off despite what I say next) but I am dying to find out if Jurin or Harvey are queer or not because it seems to me like the other girls are being coy about those two in some way (either together or individually) and I just want to confirm its that or not that god damnit.

[aromantic-pantyanarchy]

It's me. I'm the cis, heterosexual, aromantic man. I will never marry, I will never be married, I will grow into middle age and elder age and I will die unmarried. I will be forced to support a household of myself on only my wages alone for the rest of my life. I will be asked about women and marriage and children by my family for the rest of my life (or men, the progressive ones might say). I may not ever come out to them. I feel like I burned my coming out on something stupid. I don't want to explain it. I don't want to run them through the definitions and intricacies. I don't want the acceptance without understanding, placating me with ceased questions and poor explanations to other, drunk adults.

I like my hair to be long, I spent a year with it dyed a golden blonde with dark roots because I like the trashy party girl aesthetic. I want to dye it again with pink tips. I like painting my nails, black and blue are my favorite colors. I like wearing chokers. I also like wearing baggy jeans and ratty hoodies. I like having stubble. I like having chest hair. I like having a square jaw and broad shoulders. I wish I had a flatter stomach and a thinner profile frame. I don't know what this makes me, perhaps this is something no more GNC than Machine Gun Kelly. I think about this a lot, how queer my appearance truly is. I should think about it less. I have thought long and hard about if I could be trans or if I could be non-binary or if I could be genderqueer and the conclusion I ultimately came to is that I most enjoy being a man open to whatever self-expression I want.

I don't date, but I've thought about it. I would like to meet people, and I would like to have sex with them. But I don't want to hurt them. I fear if I explain what I am beforehand it'll scare them away. I fear if I explain after they'll feel manipulated or abused. I don't know how many people in the dating scene want what I want. I fear my own lack of experience will make me a bad lay, an embarrassing story to tell to confidants in hindsight. I fear my own virginity, a boundary to those I wish to be like. All of these fears are baseless, as I've not been able to even begin a single relationship in my life. Despite this I still heavily identify with terms like "slut" and "manwhore" and "thot" because my interests lay so deeply within casual sex, sex without great intimacy or emotion. This may be some form of stolen valor. I hope the true sluts are not too mad at me.

I made this blog several years ago because a mutual of mine reblogged memes making fun of aro and ace people, making fun of the concept of aphobia, and in addition well known aphobes. I didn't feel comfortable talking about aro stuff on my main blog, for as little as I talk about it. Living through the ace discourse of the 2016 era has largely caused me to cringe in embarrassment any time I am forced to discuss my orientation with people who aren't aro or ace themselves. I no longer follow this person. I unfollowed many people I was mutuals with from that time, most of them because they posted too often about how much they hated men and I didn't want to see that, some because our interests simply drifted too far apart, only one for explicit aphobia reasons. (Also one because they became a "both sides are bad, any vote is wasted" libertarian, but that's unrelated.)

I guess at this point I don't care deeply about what strangers on the internet think of me. If a trusted friend told me that they don't think I'm truly queer that may hurt. But I am going to continue to use the word for myself. I take up no resources. I go to events that are open to me. If an event was not open to me, I think I'd not want to go anyways. I am not a hypothetical, I am not a strawman, I am a person with lived experiences both within and exterior to the queer community. If you hate me, I will permit you to continue to do so. But ultimately, I am who I am, I cannot change these facts, and I would not choose to do so even if I could.

[gaogaigoatgrrl]

i hope that in the wake of predstrogen/predesterone's back-to-back deletion we don't forget about the ongoing building wave of seemingly organic transmisogyny from the userbase leading up to it, some of which may or may not have been the result of terf psyops but all of which certainly wouldn't have been possible without the eager participation of a significant proportion of users, including but probably not limited to:

the entire concept of transandrophobia (if this offends you, think long and hard about why you want so badly for it to be real)

the ongoing backlash against the terms tme and tma (if they offend you, think long and hard about why they might have practical value to trans women and people with similar social positionality)

the ongoing trend of trans women's blogs getting flagged on the flimsiest of pretenses and generally receiving far more scrutiny for "adult content" than anyone else's

the seeming unironic revival of "baeddel" as a slur for outspoken trans women, on the basis of a long-dead clique that, ironically enough, self-applied the long-dead (and tbf, etymologically questionable) slur from the middle ages to reclaim it

the entire "trans women should be fucking trans men instead of complaining about transmisogyny" genre of post

the backlash when tgirls finally started calling out the aforementioned bullshit

the copypasted anons sent to several trans women (many of whom were lesbians) sexually harassing them and threatening corrective rape for calling out the aforementioned bullshit

the backlash when tgirls called the aforementioned bullshit sexual harassment

the expansion of flexible queer label use (which to be clear, i am generally all for) to include "afab trans women", muddying the waters and making transmisogyny harder to articulate

the backlash when tgirls started calling out the aforementioned bullshit

the aita incident in which a trans woman described a cis woman claiming to be a trans woman in a group chat and giving other trans women terrible medical advice based on no actual qualifications or experience, and got a huge backlash for warning them about the aforementioned bullshit despite the stakes of, you know, following terrible medical advice

everything from the sixth point onward happened within the past... week? two weeks? my sense of time is a bit fuzzy. who knows what the rest of this week has in store?

people on this website are so incredibly hostile to trans women even being able to name our own oppression, let alone resist it in any concrete way. and i know it's not just this website. don't you get tired of the crab bucket bullshit? holy fucking shit.

like, i've been lucky, i've overwhelmingly managed to dodge it (probably on account of frankly being a pretty boring and inconsistent poster). this time last year, i was actually bored that i didn't have anons in my inbox to argue with. but i've seen it happen to so many other women now, it's absurd. even if it never hits you personally, you can never shake the awareness that it's happening to so many of the cool girls on here, people you like and whose posts you laugh at and who you look up to. they just kinda seem to drop like flies over time. don't you get tired?

[doberbutts]

I am again struck with the bizarre feeling I get every time I try to talk politics on this blog vs when I say literally the same shit with my irl black, queer, disabled friends and family.

"My dad [a black cishet man] absolutely has male privilege, while having a dramatically different experience with that privilege than [mutual friend's name] [italian cishet man] while being unsafe in many of the ways [mutual friend] has never had to worry about because of his presentation as a tall, black, loud man who slurs and garbles his words because he can't hear what he's saying and frequently doesn't wear his hearing aids"

And I get nods, because that shit just makes sense. They're black, they've seen it, they know. Meanwhile, here I say the same thing and I get "you just think that women oppress men". Literally not what I said but sure I guess.

[fixing-girls]

Tw: s assault, CNC, misogyny, orientation play, transphobia, bio essentialism, breeding

I focus on "big strong conservative men" a lot. But all men are superior to women, no matter the shape and size.

The apartment is a mess after last night. You stumble over the empty bottles and crushed pizza boxes that litter the room, staggering into the kitchen. You sigh contently as you sip the cool glass of water left on the counter, enjoying the sun on your naked body.

A hand snakes around your waist and pulls you into a warm body. Gavin kisses your shoulder as he trails his hands down the slight curvature of your wide hips.

You turn around quickly and look at him. His eyes now level with your lips. He quirks a smile as he moves forward to kiss you.

"Stop! What are you doing!"

Gavin scrunches his eyebrows together, his curly short hair bobbing as he tilts his head. "Continuing where we left off? What do you mean?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I am not attracted to cis men. You're being really creepy right now."

Gavin is usually a sweet man. With a slight, lean frame and an upbeat demeanor, he is the surprising cis het male in your queer friend group. He is the best ally you could ask for, a listening ear to your marginalized voices, sensitive and respectful to your experiences. He also didn't bat an eye when you came out as non binary last year. It is one of the reasons you are comfortable rooming with him off campus this fall.

Gavin cracks a grin. Do his teeth look sharper than normal? "Oh baby girl, you told me you would do this. I know what you need" He suddenly pushes his knee in between your legs and jams his thigh up into your crotch, making contact with your clit. You gasp. His hands pin yours to the countertop as he leans in, his naked body touching yours in too many places. You try to wiggle out but his grip feels like iron.

"Don't you remember..." His soft words drifted in but you stopped hearing them.

You look fearfully at the empty bottles by your feet. An icy chill shoots down your spine as his words pull up memories from the hazy mists of your mind.

I'm curious about cock. I feel like a fake dyke. I just want to try it once. I want to get it rough. Just a little inside me. I want to be used. I need to be put in my place. I want to feel it throbbing in me. My gender could be fucktoy. I want to feel cum. I need a cis man to take me and show what I am for. I want cock. I need to be bred. I need a real cock inside me.

All the carefully-hidden, shameful desires that you've harboured. They've never emerged from the frantic rubbings under your blankets. Pussy juice on one hand, phone on the other, scrolling Tumblr kink blogs through the night. They're fantasies. Not real. Never meant to be heard by anyone else.

Gavin is supposed to be safe. Gavin is a friend. Gavin is a nice modern liberal man who respects women and enbys. Gavin is... looking at you with eyes that make you feel small despite your greater height.

His hand is now rubbing your clit. Your knees weaken. He knows the truth. He's going to take you. You clench your thighs by instinct but end up rubbing your pussy on his leg.

He kisses you with an overwhelming hunger. A tongue touching the insides of your mouth with a forcefulness you've never experienced before. His hip grounds into your leg with his hard shaft leaving a trail of pre-cum on your inner thigh.

You try to fight but you're still reeling from the betrayal. You're shakey. You've never been touched by a cis man before. The world seems to white out in your daze. He takes the chance and spins you around. You're staring at your own reflection in the window, bent over the counter. The moments are captured in the spotty glass like translucent ghosts. Watching him look down to line up with your hole. Feeling yourself stretched. Watching his face light up and his mouth open in pleasure. Feeling him plummet into you, invading you.

Just like you said you wanted.

The swinging of his balls is perfectly positioned to hit your engorged labia with every thrust. Your legs slip farther out, and suddenly your clit is tingling from the impact too.

A man is fucking you. A cis man with a hot and hard penis. Reaching inside you and taking you. Touching you in the places you wish you didn't have. It doesn't matter that you're friends. You have a vagina that his cock could use. You bite your lips. Afraid to make this worse.

Afraid to let your pleasure escape.

You blink back the tears as you are pressed onto the ground not too gently, the cold kitchen tiles embracing you with its own hardness. Gavin resumes pounding into you without caring.

"I've wanted to do this for so long. You're so fucking hot. I can't believe you're letting me do this to you. Your pussy feels amazing"

You have never felt so grossly feminine in your life. It feels... strange to look up and see a man on top, his chest heaving as he takes his pleasure inside you. Your hard nipples rub against his hairy chest and you can't help but bring your hands up to pinch them harder. You close your eyes in shame as a moan finally escapes you.

Sex with women, enbies, and trans men feel like play in comparison. This is primal. A satiation of biological needs that your body is responding to. You were born to have your female womb bred by a male penis. There will be consequences, your life will be ruined. Not because of the potential pregnancy, but because you will never be able to associate sex with anything else again. You clench around him, eliciting a growl from Gavin.

You can't live without cock again. The punishing thrusts of a hot shaft touching you in places you wish you didn't have. But it feels so right, so good. A real penis is inside you. Sailing higher and higher, your mind grasping for a peak that you have never reached before. Have never imagined before.

Suddenly, he withdraws. His hands on your thighs, and he's bending your legs back until your knees are almost touching your shoulders. Your dysphoria flares as you realize how open your vagina is, a gaping hole presented to a real man in all its vulnerability. Just as painful, is the loss of his cock from your body. You're clenching around air, devoid of the fullness moments ago.

"What are you?" Gavin asks, his hard erection causally sliding on your clit. He knows you hate this question, the forceful attitude from a world that doesn't recognize your fluidity.

Yet, the answer seems to bubble underneath your moans.

"What. Are. You." Each word is punctuated by a heavy slap of his cock on your clit. He is averaged sized, at best. And you are so proud of your growth after a year on T. Faced with biological reality, you can see his penis is huge on your tiny clit as you whimper under him. You can't speak as you look down at your genitals touching. He could breed you, change your body forever. Force you into womanhood.

"I'm... " You hesitate. His other hand spreads your labia majora open to reveal your drooling hole. Your drooling, empty hole that needs to cum. Look at this. He seems to say.

"I'm...a..." The tip of his penis poised at your hole. Barely touching. His shaft coated with your juices. Lubricated to slide into you, as nature intends.

It feels like your breath is trapped in your body as you tighten and resist. But the throbbing of your clit and the warmth of his cock keep you in the unfortunate reality of your assault.

"I'm... a... girl." It feels like something in you changed. A flush of heat raced down and straight to between your legs. You tell yourself that you just want to get this over with.

His pushes into you hard. It's painful, but your body feels full with pleasure too. When he grounds his pelvis against you, your clitoris feels positively electrified.

Hot breaths warm your ears as he buries his head in the crook of your neck. His hips drive into you with a careless abandon as he penetrates your pussy.

Faster. With a breathlessness shared between your bodies as you kiss, your bodies meld together as you push back against him. His motions grow erratic. You know what is coming. Instead of disgusting you, the realization draws out a longing you have felt for so long, through all the secret moments of rubbing alone in the dark. He groans and you clutch at his shoulders, your legs spread wide.

"You're gonna take my load." He states. It isn't a question.

Is it you who wrapped your legs around his waist? You don't know when you gave up the fight as you writhe under Gavin's body, his penis inside you, his body dominating yours in every way possible. He penetrates you. You feel it coming, the peak that seems unreachable. You could see in his eyes that it's coming. It's coming... And...

He penetrates you again, and lets out a groan as he grabs your waist and pushes his cock as deep inside your pussy as possible. His penis throbs and expands inside of you, and a spurt of his sperm shoots into your cervix. Another spurt as he shoves himself in and out again and his body jerks against you. You can't help but clench on his cock, which feels impossibly large in you. He keeps cumming and it feels so right to receive it, to give him pleasure. Your innocent womb now swimming with millions of his seeds. You feel it deep in you, and your body goes tight, clenching hard on his cock as you soar towards your own peak.

You don't want to cum on his cock. You've never cum from penetration. But a man has just taken your body. Used you. Unloaded his balls completely in your fertile womb. Bred you.

Climbing upwards to your ecstasy, trembling, looking into the eyes of your rapist. The orgasm rips through you like a windstorm and you feel yourself giving over completely to your pussy. She is tightening and milking all the cum from his hard cock. It's so good to be fucked. To be a girl. To be bred. You let go, and the fall into your darkest pleasures is more exhilarating and scary than you could ever imagine. Waves of pleasure radiating from your pussy and through your body, leaving you boneless and devoid of any scrap of fight. It's so good to accept your place.

How could you ever go back?

You clutch and squirm and moan. Nobody would ever think you were anything but a straight cis woman if they saw you. Drunk on the pleasure of being cummed in. Forced to accept your biology. The scent of his musky sweat and cum fills you up and leaves you heady.

He draws his cock out of your pussy with a definite *pop*. He smacks your bottom as the cum dribbles out of your vagina and onto the tiles.

"I'll tell my ultimate frisbee team. Let's skip the feminist author panel tonight. We'll get a few more loads in you." He smiles, back to the reliable and supportive Gavin.

You? You will never be the same again.

[drdemonprince]

The word “vanilla” comes up a lot in your writing and it’s always with negative connotations.

I fully accept that my own reactions to it are my responsibility alone and no one is making me feel a certain way. But I do wonder if there are ways to have conversations around sexuality that don’t elevate one kind of sex over another in a demeaning way that make vanilla sex almost a running joke.

As someone with pretty severe sexual trauma history for me even having enjoyable vanilla sex is pushing boundaries. To actually be able to initiate, seek out and enjoy sex of any kind has been challenging.

The increased use and acceptance of vanilla as a derogatory term is unfortunate I think as it invalidates the experiences of many sa survivors and makes it feel like sex is only valid if it’s kinky.

In saying that having lots of friends in the kink/fet scene I know they’ve fought really hard to not have their sexual preferences demonized.

So I do understand.

I just wish my preferences weren’t always made out to be boring and dull, and thereby made me boring and dull.

This seems especially prevalent in queer spaces.

I think one of the biggest problems in how people conceive of diverse sexualities is by attempting to place all sex acts upon a single spectrum from "extremely kinky" to "tame." Under this framework, activities like PIV and oral are viewed as neutral precursors to the more racier and extreme forms of sex that a person must "work themselves up" to -- and this obscures that those supposedly neutral sexual activities can be both incredibly exciting to some, and downright disturbing and traumatizing to others.

I am also harmed by this and have written about it on this blog quite a lot.

Like you, I am harmed by the presumption that PIV, fingering, and oral are neutral sexual acts that are lower on the intensity spectrum than things like being slapped or choked. I find receiving oral to be far more intense, triggering, dysphoric, and disturbing than anything in the rape play/primal/dub con/intoxication/hypnosis realm that I enjoy -- because I like and want those things, and I do not want oral.

My problem with oral isn't that it's "boring." It's that it is fucking traumatic for me.

I also find completely un-kinky sex in general to be profoundly alienating and triggering in most instances.

I am harmed by the idea that PIV and oral are more benign, neutral forms of sex, just as you are.

I need language to articulate that the sex acts that most people view as the default are in fact alienating and disturbing to me *as a sexual assault survivor*. In fact, the most common form of sexual assault that I have experienced has been people forcing non-kinky sex on me that they assumed I had to be game for, since I liked the stuff on the more "intense" side of their imagined spectrum.

The cishet, nonkinky world has already created terminology for the views around sex that create these problems, and that's "vanilla." And so I use "no vanilla" to broadcast that I want absolutely nothing to do with anyone who holds that worldview.

I don't think expressing my boundaries (which people repeatedly and forcefully attempt to trample over in all sexual spaces, including kinky ones!) is me derogating people who do not share my kinks. I don't think I'm hurting anyone by rejecting the dominant viewpoint of society. And for what it's worth, I will reiterate again, I don't think people are boring for liking non-kinky sex.

I think that we all benefit from unpacking our assumptions surrounding what sex is or can be, and for many sexual assault survivors it is immensely healing to take pre-written societal expectations surrounding sex off the table.

It's not inherently kinky to reimagine what sexual pleasure might look like, I suppose, but anyone who is doing that kind of deep reflective and interpersonal work is already taking steps to liberate themselves from the cishet power structure that gave us the notion of obligatory "vanilla" sex.

I think that instead of feeling like the term "vanilla" is a thing that you have to defend, you might be better served by simply defending your own right to define your sexuality in whatever ways you choose.

People who are having weird hypnosis fantasy sex are not sneering at you for enjoying what you enjoy. We want you to be free and at ease in your body. What we're sneering at, when we criticize "vanilla," are the dictates that a person must have sex in a certain way, that some forms of sex are more neutral than others, and that we OWE sexual partners certain activities and sexual responses.

"Vanilla" sexual values and assumptions are the enemy of all sexual assault survivors. You don't have to be interested in any remotely freaky shit in order to benefit from us all collectively destroying the notion that certain forms of sex are the default that we owe to people. We ALL benefit from being able to reject the sex acts we do not like as loudly and proudly as we want.

[cosmickid-inmotion]

What: An event to highlight disability visibility in the Pedro Pascal and Oscar isaac fandom! Writings or art MUST include some disability. In the header, I have chosen 4 characters with canon disabilities, but you can write for anyone! For examples:

Marcus Acacius losing eyesight Llewyn with a reader with a reader with epilepsy Javier Pena x Steven Murphy and Steve has cancer

Fics and art can be NSFW, friends, romantic, canon characters only, x reader, solo fics, ETC. If you want to explore a bonus chapter within a series you already wrote, that works, but,

MUST BE NEW CONTENT!

Who: Anyone who wants to make art or write a fic!

Where: Tumblr, but if you want to post on ao3 and send a link that works!

When: Through the month of May!

Why: It's important for all of us to look at the beautiful diversity of this fandom! There have been many discussions around race and gender/sexuality biases especially in the PPCU recently, and I want to not derail, but rather add to this conversation.

Rules: I'll try to keep it simple

Not a dead dove event: While dark content can be discussed or shown and I am not a dark hater, please no dead dove, non con etc. Not for this event.

Minor characters are allowed, but obviously no NSFW minors. You want to have Marc and reader in their teens, thats fine! but not smut.

No minors!: I am aware I cannot stop nor do I wish to stop minors from reading, but interacting with this event is strictly 18+

Non-disabled people can write, and disabled folk can write for disabilities they do not have, but do research: Reach out to friends who have a disability you want to write about. Watch youtube videos. Read book and blog posts. I'll link some resources at the bottom!

TRY not to fall into trope or harmful traps. Again, I'll link tropes in the bottom, try our best!

Try to end light. This is about the beauty of diversity. Like with my pride event, I'm not naive to hardships the disability community faces and we can explore that, but lets not let that be the main focus.

Readmore: Use the READMORE option! I'll reblog all fics but ONLY if theres a readmore

Add alt text to any pictures. I have literally done this maybe twice and that's my fault. it takes a minute, I have no excuses, but its very important for people who use aids online.

And this isn't a rule but a few notes. try to avoid the inspiration porn shit. If you don't know what it is, look it up and if you're still not clear you can ask me! Also, I recognize major depressive disorder , PTSD, anxiety ETC can be disabilities, these are things that are depicted a fair amount in fics already. If you choose to write to draw with these disabilities, that is okay! I'm still more than happy to include your work! I just want to gently encourage people to think of other disabilites we can try to include so others feel welcomed!

And as always with my events, I want to encourage you to think beyond the standard x fem reader. It's all wonderful and beautiful, but if you wanted to write reflecting your experience as a black disabled woman or a trans disabled man or writing about Santi's experience being queer and disabled I WOULD LOVE TO SEE IT ALL!!

Events tend to not have a lot of art, so I'd really love to see artists participate too!

HOW: SEND ME THE LINK ASKS OR DMS! asks in preferred so I can keep track. Do to internet safety, I wont look at anonymous links. If you have to be on anon bc you use a sideblog (looking at you, Haru!) then tag me in your fic or post, I'll open up a dm with you on that blog and you can send it there. I''ve had issues in the past trying to keep things organized so this is best for me! Everything will be reblogged, and then put into a masterlist!

I will be posting the masterlist on my new blog, @cosmic-kid-in-motion. I wanted to start the event here where I actually have followers, but the final product will be on my new blog, transferring things over.

I am so excited to see what you all come up with!!!!

Disability Visibility Project: An online page talking about disability issues. The sight is ran by Ali Wong. She also has a book of essays from different people called Disability Visibility, I HIGHLY REC. We read this book and used this site heavility in my intro to disability class, its why I named the event this!

Ableist tropes in media

Youtuber who is a friend of mine, Andy

Deaf awareness by same youtuber

Another youtuber I like

Disabled palistinian comedian

If anyone has other links they recommend im all ears!

I also open for any questions, and if any other disabled tumblrinas wanna open up for questions, comment below! You totally dont have to, but a wider range is always great! I have a few physical and mental disabilites and like I mentioned, I took a class. Im also good friends with the tuber i linked above and he's done a lot of disability advocacy and I've learned a lot from him, So I feel confident but if theres another I dont know I'll open it up! Any input or ideas are welcome!!!

Im so excited to see what everyone comes up with!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

dear sex witch,

i'm really sorry if this question is inappropriate and too long, please delete if necessary. i am a 17-year-old cis girl who grew up in a sexually conservative culture/religion but stumbled into extremely taboo nsfw fanfiction (and later nsfw fanart once or twice) really young (probably about 12) without even registering that what i was doing was masterbation/looking at porn. i no longer think those things are objectively bad or sinful as i was taught when i was younger, and i consider myself probably more sex-positive than a lot of my peers irl, but i feel a lot of shame about specific things that i've read and i still consider immoral although obviously none of the content i consumed involved real people doing sexual acts, and i started experiencing a lot of taboo and guilt-inducing intrusive thoughts two years ago.

if it's possible would you be able to give some advice about how to move forward? i've avoided pornographic material for more than a year but i don't actually know if that's healthy or helpful. the shame around previous porn use and the intrusive thoughts have also led me to become very afraid to disclose my sexual orientation (i realised i was a lesbian last year) because i'm worried i'll be bad representation and that if people realise what my past experiences were it would reinforce their homophobic beliefs about homosexuality being perverse.

again i apologise if this isn't the sort of thing you are able or willing to deal with at all, or if i sound too reactionary regarding sex and kink: i have been trying to educate myself but i obviously still have a long way to go. thank you for the work that you do and i hope you have a wonderful day.

hi anon,

okay, so, first thing I need to say, right out of the gate: it's not possible for you to be "bad representation." you're not representation. you're a real human person who, like every other human, will make mistakes and have regrets and sometimes do things that you're not very proud of. the burden of ending bigotry is not on queer people; don't have to be upstanding paragons of morality in the hopes that people will stop being meaners to us. if someone is homophobic, that's not something that you can change personally by being the most perfect lesbian in the world. they're still going to be homophobic unless they personally decide not to be, a choice that you can't force anyone to make. please, p l e a s e do not put that kind of pressure on yourself.

also: you actually don't have to disclose your sexual orientation to anyone whose reaction you're worried about. if someone is a homophobe, they don't need to know that you're homo! I know a lot of importance is placed on the idea of being out in every aspect of your life, but that is fucking DANGEROUS for a lot of people - especially young people who are dependent on families that won't support them. being out to your family is never, never, NEVER more important than you being safe; don't get it twisted.

re: avoiding porn, it's none of my business if you want to look at or read or listen to porn. I do know in many cases that learning how to just look at a thing as it is, without judging yourself for doing so, is the most effective way to stop feeling so scared and worried about it. I have no idea how much you pay attention to my blog, but I've had numerous people telling me that watching me joke so much about an incestuous relationship about two brothers in a bad Marvel movie has helped reduce the anxiety they feel about fictional incest. if you feel able to do so, it might be really good for you to experience enjoying some porn and masturbating about it without anything bad happening.

it doesn't even have to be watching porn; any kind of content centered around sex in a positive manner can really help to make it feel more natural and less scary. I always recommend the channel Sexplanations on YouTube, which is quite frank about bodies and pleasure while also being lighthearted and education, and I think you in particular might really benefit from the podcast Sexvangelicals, which is hosted by two sex therapists who do a lot of work specifically targeted at helping individuals who come from high control religious groups unlearn shame about sex.

[artemiseamoon]

I’m glad to see more discussion about the experience as a non-white person in the PP fandom. I have been in many ‘fan groups’ in my life, 80s baby here, and this one has surprisingly been the most unwelcoming and triggering in many ways (💜minus the ✨amazing✨ readers, mutuals, and friends I have made here. This part is the good stuff.) 💜

I’m glad to see more discussion about how we get overlooked and our work, art, and moodboards get ignored.

I’ve been yelling into the void about this since 2020, many others as well, and many for much longer than me. We get ignored, overlooked, nasty anons, the list goes on…

In my time sharing here, I have tried to make things as diverse and inclusive as possible while highlighting black and brown folks. But I tell you, my readership suffered, my moodboards (which I put my heart and soul into) were only shared sometimes, if so it was by a few lovely mutuals and amazing readers who supported me.

My engagement has always been a struggle. I could actively see my moodboards and fics with brown skin characters get 0-10 likes and no reblogs while ones with petite pintrest ⚪️ women get 100+. This happened often, minus cool surprises like when something would be shared by a bigger blog and then i’d see more engagement for a burst of time. Only in these cases I would have the most reach and see that reflected in things like reblogs and likes. Anyway…

This has been a discussion for a long time. I got so tired I stopped talking about it. I stopped posting about it. It seemed my voice, and many others didn’t matter. I took many breaks, left and came back, only to find things worse and the little community I had mostly gone. I stepped away from here and the PP fandom.

I was and am greatly disappointed that there is such a lack of support and blatant (plus passive aggressive) racism in this fandom for a poc!

Recently, to see the confederate flag used as an aesthetic choice in a fic (by a writer I did enjoy and follow) was a blow. Especially even more now as a queer woman with brown skin living in a country that voted a racist criminal into office, again.

Fan-fiction should be a safe place to escape. Why would we want to see our very valid fears and hostile signs like that flag in fics we read?

On that note, it is crazy to me we have to experience this at all, but especially in a fandom for a poc man!!

Again, I am happy these conversations are happening. Will things change? I dunno - I feel doubtful. I am pissed. But I do hope there will be change.

Ps: just because a character is from the south, and has an accent, DOES NOT mean you have to make them racist. As a woman with Louisiana Creole roots via my dad, and Southern (GA, NC, VA) both via my mom and dad (I grew up in the North so no accent and all for me) BUT I do write alot of Southern Gothic and fic settings in places like Louisiana. Would I add that fucking flag even tho it’s around? No.

Don’t do shit like that. Do better.

Pss: this is bigger than me, I am not just talking about my self. My work is not for everyone, some will dislike it, thats totally ok, i have weaknesses as well as strengths as a writer, thats ok - i am talking about this on a grander collective scale of things. We already lost so many creative talented poc and queer writers and I myself have been distant from the fandom as well. Don’t be surprised if more continue to leave if this shit keeps up.

[wisteria-lodge]

What are your thoughts on those who believe hp fans (fan writers, artists, and appreciators alike) should leave the fandom sphere in favor of not giving JKR any “support” even if one does not share her views, as opposed to consuming fan content (or even the original media) while understanding the separation between art from artist (even if that can’t truly be 100% done, as HP is JKR, though that is another discussion entirely)?

I can only answer for myself, but I guess I would say - I'm a teacher, IRL. And my students, they know about Harry Potter, they know the property, they grew up with the movies, they read Harry Potter fanfiction, and... they talk to me about it. I think it's *good* that they talk to me about it. They ask questions about JKR, about the problematic elements in the books, trans issues, queer villains. Whatever is bothering them, whatever they otherwise feel dumb about asking.

Just the other day I had a very sweet conversation with a trans student who had realized he was gay because Harry and Draco in the books were so "real" and "me coded" (and then he realized people shipped them and was like OH.) Basically, he just needed to be told that his experience was still okay and valid even though JKR is such a terrible transphobe. I had another one ask me "why are all queer people Wolfstar?" (what she meant was, why do gay couples in media tend have a masc one + a femme one. But for her, patient zero is Wolfstar, and that's how she phrased the question.)

On this blog, I'm in this position where I clearly know like, a lot about Harry Potter, I clearly authentically love it (and the fan culture around it...) but am very VERY critical of both JKR as a person, and specific choices she made while writing the books. That's a combination that's definitely got me some hate mail, but also thank-you letters, and extremely earnest questions. And, if I never touched HP meta or fandom, I wouldn't get to occupy that space.

I completely, completely understand people who never want to read the words "Harry Potter" ever again. That was me, for years. I only started writing about Harry Potter on this blog last July, but so far it's been very a interesting, rewarding, cathartic experience. I've also had a great time writing fic, and using that as a means to examine my emotions and issues around this property, and with JKR herself. I got such a kick out of matching JKR's writing style as perfectly as I possibly could, and then writing Book 4 babygay Drarry. Or making Tonks just like, super genderqueer, trans, all of the above. Or flipping the framing to write a 100% canon compliant morally grey Dumbledore, and a sympathetic Lucius Malfoy. People seem to really like the fics too, so that's a nice bonus. I've gotten a lot from fanfiction myself in the past, I think it's a fascinating and useful form of art. So, I like getting getting to continue the cycle.