#Broken Friendship Song Lyrics | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

runraerun · 6 days ago

Note

Heard a random 90s rock song & it legit got me thinking about Steve & Billy meeting again in their twenties... Like what if s3 never happened? After the fight at the Byers, Billy kept his head down & avoided Steve? I see him as being consumed by a sense of guilt/shame & yet still not being able to apologise until, that is, the day of their graduation when he's suddenly overcome with a need to just get it off his chest. He's been crushing on this guy since he got to Hawkins & he blew whatever chance he had of even just a friendship with him, but it doesn't matter now cos he's getting out of this shithole as quickly as possible, but he can't have this guilt gnawing at him any longer...So maybe he deliberately makes sure he bumps into steve at some point and mutters out a: "Harrington. We need to talk." And sucking on a cigarette like his life depends on it, hands shaking, barely making eye contact, Billy gives the world's shittiest apology. And it feels like his heart's gonna beat out of his chest & Steve's just standing there, staring at him, an unreadable expression on his face, before saying something like: "yeah, man. I'm sorry for that night too." (In my mind either Max let drop something about Billy's homelife or Steve has deduced something's not right). Anyway. Billy finally feels like he's able to breathe again for the first time in months UNTIL steve unknowingly utters the world's most devastating sentence: "I think we could've been friends if, y'know, shit hadn't gone down the way it did...oh well." And steve gives a sort of little grin and a laugh as if what he said wasn't a major deal. "Heard you're headed back to California?" Steve asks, and Billy's barely able to nod, still struck dumb by Steve's previous offhand comment. And maybe someone calls Steve's name and suddenly that's it. The moment is broken & Steve's leaving with a "Guess I'll see you around, Hargrove... or not" and a goofy little salute. And Billy thought he'd feel better. But in fact he feels worse. Because holy shit. Steve just said they could have been friends. And that's gonna haunt him for years....

Cue a few years later and they run into each other in Chicago (listen, the idea of Billy returning to California only to realise it no longer feels like home and maybe it never did consumes me), but yeah. They bump into each other accidentally and holy shit. Steve Harrington. He looks almost exactly the same. Other than the fact he's grown out the mullet and holy shit, are those highlights in his hair??? And billy's stunned by what looks like a genuine grin of delight that crosses Steve's face once he recognises who he's walked into. And maybe they chat for a little while; Billy doesn't even know what he's saying he's so in shock at meeting his highschool crush again. But just like the last time someone calls steve's name and of course steve has a girlfriend, of course he does (joke's on billy, cos it's just robin) and suddenly the moment's broken again and steve's walking away with a casual "it was good to see you again, billy" and billy is gripped with the thought that he can't let steve slip through his fingers again. how many people get a second chance like this? he can feel his old highschool crush flickering back to life where it's buried deep in his chest and maybe steve will never like billy like that but holy shit. billy still remembers the day steve said that maybe they could have been friends if things had been different and things are different now so why not take a chance??? and billy has never felt so brave or so fucking scared in his life as he does when he steps forward and calls after steve: "Hey Harrington! Wanna meet up and catch up properly some time?" and Steve's attention is back on him and goddamn. Billy didn't even realise how much he missed those eyes until now. ANyway!! This got away from me!! But 90s Harringrove pls and thank. Also the song i heard was lightning crashes by live. like the lyrics aren't even that appropriate but there's such a nostalgic feel to it.

oh my god. OH MY GOD.

Anon, this whole message has got me in a chokehold. Like, it’s such a direct hit. 🎯🎯🎯Billy choking on an apology because he’s so painfully unfamiliar with the very concept, the absolute devastation of hearing the potential of being friends with Steve was there, but he blew it, the PINING… urgh. How Steve can unknowingly fatally wound Billy just like that.

AND THEN THE HIGHLIGHTS ARE YOU JOKING?!

I hope that things get away from you many many more times, because this was incredible.

Okay okay. Now, if I may, I will now attempt to match your freak.

ahem

—

By some serendipitous fuckin’ miracle, Steve agrees to exchange digits with him. They couldn’t find a napkin or any other god forsaken scrap of paper to write on, so they just scribbled their numbers down onto each other's arm. Billy was so fucking on edge that when he was peering down at the pale expanse of Steve’s mole-speckled forearm he damn near forgot his own phone number. Jesus, he’s a wreck…

At least whenever it comes to Harrington, anyway. Dude has like, Billy’s own personal strain of kryptonite woven in through his DNA or some shit. It would explain why his hands always get clammy and his knees feel like they’re made of fucking jello every time Steve flashed those pearly whites his way.

Christ, Hargrove, get it together…

Billy had spent the rest of the week running a finger along the wobbly looking numbers, fading more and more every day. Before they fade completely through, he finally finds his balls and dials Steve’s number.

A girl picks up, which… well, Billy knows Steve has a girlfriend. He didn’t know they’re living together though… but whatever, it don’t change shit.

“Steve around?” He asks, clenching the receiver in his fist so tightly that he can hear the plastic creak.

“Who’s asking?” The girl says, sounding pleasant despite her words. Sandy-haired, freckles. Cute, Billy remembers. Harrington always did go for the cute ones.

“Billy,” he answers, “Billy Hargrove. He’ll know who I am.”

“Oh, Billy,” The girl’s voice draws out his name like it’s an answer to a question that she’d been stuck on. “It’s about time you called.”

Which. That…

What the hell does that mean?

While Billy’s puzzling it out, she hears the girl holler for Steve, telling him Billy is on the line. His name is said with a weird amount of familiarity.

Billy switches ears and shakes out the stiffness in his hand. Focuses on breathing evenly instead of the steady flow of questions suddenly piling up in his head.

“Billy?” Steve’s voice, clear as a bell, asks from the other line.

Billy clears his throat, “hey, man.”

“Hey. I was just about to call you.” Steve says, doing that thing where he so casually drops bombs onto Billy’s world, leveling his cities with a passing word.

“Beat you to it.” Billy grins, and hears the little huff of a laugh on the other line.

“Always so competitive,” Steve teases, and Billy can just hear the smile. It makes his chest ache. It’s the sweet kind of ache, though. “Haven’t you ever heard it’s not winning that matters, it’s taking part?”

Billy shakes his head even though Steve can’t see him and sneers, “sounds like some shit losers say to each other.”

That gets a genuine laugh from Steve, all breathy and sharp, and Billy feels himself laughing along from the sheer thrill of getting Steve going.

“Jesus, I forgot how much of an asshole you are.” Steve sighs, but there’s no heat behind it. Just shit talk. It’s fine. What guys do.

“Yeah yeah. Can’t change my spots, or whatever.” Billy mumbles as he scuffs his boot along the floor. Fucking antsy. Jonesing for a cigarette. Just get on with it you piece of shit. He takes a breath and then takes the plunge. “So listen, we should hang out this weekend. I know a few good bars where we could catch up. Maybe get into some trouble.”

Steve makes a scoffing sound, “what kind of trouble are we talking here, Hargrove?”

His heart jackrabbits in his chest. He loves this part. Billy brings the receiver just a little closer to his lips. “The fun kind, Harrington.” He murmurs, voice pitched low.

There’s a brief, unbearably tense couple of seconds where Steve doesn’t speak. He just lets Billy dangle like a hooked fish. Static from the line. He doesn’t breathe. Then.

“Friday at 8?” Steve tosses the offer out, real casual-like. And with it, Billy feels the muscles around his neck and shoulders relax, like he got shot with a tranquilizer dart. Steve continues, “You wanna meet at the same coffee shop from before? I live in the apartment building just across the street from it.”

Fancy, Billy thinks. Of fuckin’ course. All the buildings on that block are the high end kind; with door men and balconies and working elevators. Billy only ever finds himself in that leg of the city when a pipe bursts or a sink gets clogged and Billy gets called in to fix it. Of course Steve’s living in the lap of luxury here in Chicago. Mommy and Daddy’s only child. Not that it’s his fault, Billy supposed. Some people are just born luckier than others.

“Sure, rich boy,” Billy grins, “bring your appetite though, I’m buying nachos.”

Steve heartily agrees. Because obviously. Who the hell could say no to that? Rich or poor, nachos are nachos.

It ain’t a date. It ain’t. It’s just two guys hanging out, y’know, catching up. For old times sake. Getting into some trouble, like Billy said. It ain’t date.

So what if he calls and asks Heather to pre-approve his outfit when everything he owns suddenly looks stupid on him? And who cares that he dabs double the amount of cologne onto his chest and triple down his pants—Billy likes to smell good, it ain’t a big deal. He wears a silver chain around his neck, the one that matches his earring, and undoes a few more buttons than usual to show it off. It’s cold this time of year but he figures they’ll be inside for most of the night anyway. Drinking, shooting pool, tossing darts. Shit like that.

Billy chain smokes as he waits outside of the coffee shop, sucking back one cigarette after the other, trying not to think about how he’s about to see Steve fucking Harrington again; the one who got away. Or, one one Billy never even fucking had a chance with in the first place, more like. He keeps wondering if he’s making a mistake. If he should just go home, forget he ever ran into that long legged, poofy haired, Bambi-eyed—

But then Steve’s there, handing Billy some froo-froo drink from inside (somehow they’d missed each other???) before he starts giving Billy a hard time for still not having a proper winter coat. Steve’s got highlights in his hair and eyeliner on his lower lashline and a spot of foam from his drink on the tip of his nose and Jesus fuck.

Billy’s in trouble.

73 notes · View notes

thewintersoldierdisaster · 2 months ago

Note

Mat’s dancing to Taylor making him a Swiftie. Do you think mat and squeaks went to any of the eras tour concerts?

OH BOY DID THEY! They actually go to a few concerts because squeaks is a big swiftie and so is mat ☺️ i’ll talk a little bit about each concert they went to broken down by venue!

may 26-28 at metlife

squeaks is low key glad they’re out of the playoffs by this point so she can go to the shows without worrying about a schedule interference with the games

they don’t go to the show on the 26th because that’s mat’s birthday but they go on the 27th and 28th

squeaks is so mad they miss getaway car and maroon and jack antonoff as the special guest but it’s mat’s birthday so she won’t make him go to a show on his birthday

the 27th is the saturday show and they go with a whole group of their friends (def syd and marty, noah and alexa, whoever else you think may want to go) - they’re in a suite for this show since it’s a big group

squeaks is in a full on costume, dresses up and has the time of her life

mat and the guys are in pink heart shaped glasses and colorful feather boas

surprise songs are holy ground and false god

mat fake proposes again during love story because he’s so drunk and the fans around them are losing their minds bc they end up getting recognized a bit

the 28th is the sunday show and they go alone for this one

it’s a little more chill because they get semi-decent seats, choosing to be more in the middle of the crowd

surprise songs are welcome to new york and clean

squeaks dances her ass off during the whole concert but mat manages to get his arms around her for some of the show and they sway along together to the slower songs

they trade friendship bracelets with the fans (squeaks was manic, stress making bracelets during the playoffs to keep herself from actively losing it too much while watching the away games)

since they’re in metlife and in a more recognizable space, they do get posted to social media a bunch at both shows, and squeaks low key loves it because she gets to see the really cute pictures and videos the fans took

her favorite is a picture someone took of mat’s forearm wrapped around her collarbones and him pressing a kiss to her temple during the lover set

july 13-14 in milan

they go to the milan shows because they’re already in italy for ryan’s wedding so why not?

and also squeaks is DYING to see the ttpd set in person

the 13th is the saturday show and the surprise songs are a mashup of the 1 and wonderland & i almost do and the moment i knew

the 14th is the sunday show and the surprise songs are a mashup of mr perfectly fine and red & getaway car and out of the woods

squeaks freaks out that she gets to hear getaway car finally

they’re both more chill at these shows because they didn’t bring a bunch of like outfits since they were there for the wedding

both are in like more casual linen outfits, squeaks in a lilac two piece set one night and a short little white linen dress the other

they both trade friendship bracelets (because squeaks made a whole bunch before they left)

beau and emma join them for one of the shows and everyone makes fun of mat for his extreme knowledge of taylor lyrics

these shows they’re more like “under the radar” because they’re in italy and not as noticeable so they act a little sillier and goof off and are just really lovey and touchy

december 6-8 in vancouver

obviously these shows haven’t happened yet in real life, but you bet your ass squeaks goes to them

at least one show anyway

liana’s back in canada for december to see everyone and spend the holidays with the family

mat is obviously in the middle of the season so he gets bummed that squeaks flies up to vancouver to spend time with liana before the barzals fly to long island for christmas with mat and squeaks

tickets are squeaks’ christmas gift to liana and they have a blast together

both get all dressed up and trade friendship bracelets with fans and send mat pictures and videos of the show

squeaks hangs around vancouver for a couple of weeks before heading home to make sure everything is ready for christmas

general swiftie headcanons

squeaks is a big lover/folklore/evermore/midnights/ttpd girlie

mat loves 1989 and red

squeaks loves the little easter eggs taylor leaves for fans but she’s not like big on trying to solve the clues (she does clown and is convinced taylor was gonna announce rep tv on london night 8 and every time she says taylor’s announcing rep tv, mat says “again?”)

they both agree that taylor and travis are adorable together and squeaks tries to see if there’s a way mat or any of the guys can finagle a way to play golf with travis so she can become friends with taylor

the closest she gets to that is going to a giants/chiefs game at metlife

mat definitely wears a friendship bracelet squeaks makes for him (what it says is up to you guys, i have an idea of what it might say, but all ideas are valid)

#mat barzal headcanon #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal #asked and answered #anon

59 notes · View notes

ssivinee · 3 months ago

Text

➢ 𝙳𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐

IVE! Band! Yujin x Band! F reader: You and Yujin didn't have the best relationship, and it has only gotten worse over the time you've known her. Although she doesn't expect those feelings and emotions to change overnight... but it does?

Word Count: 4.4k

Author's Note: This song is used in the fic, but the lyrics I've gone with are the English version just so it isn't confusing. BUT GUYS THE SONG IS SO GOOD. I HEARD IT ON BUILD-UP AND NEVER LOOKED BACK🥹.

⚠︎ Directions ⇒ Main | Previous | Next

It was a normal Friday at a rented studio. The sound of vocal warm-ups and the quiet strums of a guitar filled the air. Ningning sat on the velvet blue sofa, relaxing her mouth as she let out several loud, odd noises. Karina sat behind her drums, beating the snare drum lightly while waiting for everyone to get ready.

Winter and Giselle could be found sitting next to Ningning, checking out their guitars. The four girls' peaceful ambiance lets you sit on the plush yellow lounge chair, legs crossed, as you focus on the pen and notebook in your hands.

Your eyes never wavered off the paper as Ningning stood tall and proud from her seat, “I’m ready!” Her loud voice echoed throughout the room. Winter chuckles, “Of course you are,” and shakes her head. Giselle grabs your bass, heading towards you to give it. “She finally ready to go?” you ask your unnie as you shut the book and take your instrument. Giselle nods, shaking her head at Ningning’s usual antics. You sling the guitar strap over your shoulder, walking to the center of the room.

“So, what songs are we playing for this setlist?” Winter asks, tuning her guitar slightly. “As far as I’m aware, the owner wanted Spicy, Armageddon, and Lucid Dreams,” Karina tells you. “Isn’t that such a super short set?” You ask, and the others look at each other, “what?” Ningning rubs the nape of her neck, “It’s cause Yujin’s band is a majority of the first set.”

Winter nudges the younger girl, and you can’t help but roll your eyes when hearing the name. Ahn Yujin is the girl you deemed to be your rival in every aspect. It wasn’t a secret that you two hated each other. You were sure everyone who knew the two of you was aware of that.

It all started when you and Yujin were six years old, both small girls from Daejeon who loved discovering new hobbies and talents. The two of you met in grade school and have been getting along well since you first met. You remember it so clearly: Yujin came up to you during recess, her puppy-like eyes sparkling as she gave you the friendliest smile you’ve seen. “You're the pretty girl who sits in front of the class, right?” You were taken aback at her enthusiasm and compliment, “Uhm, I do sit in the front?” You say, more as a question.

“You are her! Y/n, right?” Asked with her jumping in excitement, “Yeah?”

“I’m Ahn Yujin,” she introduces herself with her arm reached out. “Cha Y/n?” You shake the girl's hand hesitantly. “Let’s be friends from now on!” Yujin gave you no choice, which still confused you, but in the long run, you didn’t seem to mind it. You enjoyed the newfound friendship, sitting next to each other in class, hanging out at each other's houses, basically, everything you’d expect friends to do. At some point, you even believed that she was your best friend. You guys had much in common: wanting high grades, loving music, liking sports, and even your favorite songs were the same.

It all changed when you guys turned ten years old. You began feeling resentment from Yujin, and you believed it was because people began heavily comparing you two. Being super alike didn’t really help; your parents, friends, teachers, and practically everyone seemed to say something good about the other and then proceeded to belittle the other. I was like a broken seesaw.

“Yujin is such an amazing singer, probably because she took vocal lessons. I told you we should’ve enrolled you in those classes,” your parents would say as you ate dinner.

“Yujin-ah, Y/n’s grades are spectacular again this year! All A’s again. You're like a daughter I wish I had,” Yujin’s parents would say when picking up Yujin from your house.

“Yujin is the MVP of this football (soccer) game. You were a close second, though, Y/n,” one of your friends said.

Those little comments slowly caused a rift between you two, and soon, the two of you began competing to be the best at anything the other was interested in. Yujin began participating and studying in school to try and beat your grades. You began to take vocal lessons and practice at home while watching YouTube videos. You would run around more in physical education to better your endurance for any sport.

By the time you both reached middle school, you had lost any friendships. Both find new groups of friends, become popular, and even compete in that aspect. In the early days, you were hurt, and it felt like Yujin was slowly becoming your ‘enemy,’ but that all went away once you heard Yujin talking about you behind your back while you were still “friends.”

You were going to turn the corner of a corridor when you heard a familiar voice using your name, “Oh, Y/n?” Your steps paused, and you could recognize your “best friend” 's voice from a mile away. You stood still, back leaning on the wall as you listened. “I’m better than her at everything. I mean, come on, I’m the Ahn Yujin. I sing better, play sports better, have better grades, better friendships. I’m basically the better and prettier version of her. Don’t you agree?” You hear her new friends giggle and agree, feeling yourself fuming with anger from what you heard.

That's when you decided to stop being friends with her, and every interaction that followed was hostile and always had an insult.

When college came around, you were still fated to be in the same school, and the competition stayed in course. The popular girls of the university were known as sworn enemies by everyone. During that time, you joined bands around the same time and graduated. Now, here you were, feeling as if Yujin was haunting you even when she wasn’t around.

“Are you kidding me?!” you scoff at the news Ningning shared. “You guys always seem to share the spotlight,” Winter points out, and you roll your eyes again. “Yeah, and for once, I’d like the world to divert our paths.”

“Hey, it’s not so bad. We’re going to be recognized even more because of this gig, and I know you know this, but your gonna have to suck it up, baby bear,” Karina voices, and you nod reluctantly. “Now, how about we get to practice? We’ve been here for thirty minutes, and we haven’t started. Chop chop girlies,” Karina says as she hits her drumsticks together to get us all in place and to get this show on the road.

The five of you entered the buzzing club, equipment and instruments hauling behind you. Hearing the blaring instruments on the speaker, you began nodding your head to the song. You kept appreciating the music, and you went through the sea of people through the back but quickly halted once your eyes lingered onto the stage. There you saw them, Elysium.

They were good, and they always have been. You weren’t going to deny that, but your eyes traveled to her, holding the mic stand as she sang her heart out. “This must be their new song,” you hear Giselle say beside you, and you shake your head. “Like I could give a shit,” you express. You’d rather be caught dead than be seen by Yujin ‘admiring her work’ as she would like to say.

Since college, every performance Yujin caught you watching had her irritating you every chance she could. You knew Yujin’s flirty personality when it comes to women, but you knew she did it to you just to get on your nerves. The winks, smooches, comments as she looked at you dead in the eyes. It was all a scheme to piss you off. So you decided to ignore it usually, and this time, like usual, you did as you all made your way to the backstage area.

The five of you changed your outfits and checked on your equipment. After 20 minutes of doing that, club music began blasting on the speakers, and Giselle suggested, “Maybe we should take a small shot before our performance tonight.”

“I’d be down,” you say, standing up from the guitar case on the floor. None of you were exactly lightweights, so a small shot would help calm everyone's nerves. Going back into the sea of sweaty drunks wasn’t usually your cup of tea, but you did just to get to the bar area. “Hey, five tequila shots, please?” Karina asks the bartender, who quickly whips up the drink. The four girls begin talking as you observe the location in your world, standing at the edge of the five girls.

“Well, if it isn’t the famous Cha Y/n,” you bite your lip in annoyance at the voice and turn around to see no one other than Yujin herself, holding a cocky smirk on her face. “What do you want?” you said, practically sneering at her as she took a swig of her drink. “Can’t I just greet my long-time friend?” she says, leaning into you. You stand your ground and stay in place. “Did they let you out of the psych ward again? The delusions are kicking in,” you tell her, and the latter raises her brows. “Fighting back again, I see?”

“When haven’t I stood up against you, Ahn?” you tell her, straightening yourself and getting more in her face. “Didn’t say you never did. You’ve just never won against me.”

“Says who?”

“Says me, babe,” she says, emphasizing 'babe' as she gets even closer to your face. “Babe, my ass, Yujin. Now maybe go talk to someone else who might give a shit about anything that comes out of your mouth.”

“Feisty, just what I’ve always liked about you, Cha,” she says, finally ending the annoying interaction as she walks away, not without giving you a seductive wink. “Maybe, I don’t know. You guys should just fuck and let bye-gones be bye-gones,” Ningning butts in as they hear the end of your conversation, taking your attention off of Yujin’s dramatic exit. “Girl, I’d have to be trying to get out of a crime for you to even get me there,” you joke, and she giggles.

“She isn’t wrong, though. I know you always say she does it to piss you off, but the damn sexual tension couldn’t even be cut by a damn chainsaw,” Giselle says with her brow raised as she holds the tequila shot in her hands. “You guys know she does that to get a rise out of me.”

“Well, clearly it works since you don’t back away from her when she comes close to you,” Karina says and hands you the shot, “but enough of Y/n’s weird dynamic with her mortal enemy, let’s have a good time since we aren’t here for a long time,” the eldest declares as she raises her shot glass for a cheer.

You all follow and down the entire shot, feeling the warm liquor cascade down your throat. You wince at the feeling but feel refreshed as you bite the lime. “Alrighty then, let's head on back so we can set up the stage?” Winter suggests, and you all agree, following one another to the back.

Once you guys finished setting up and were given the okay to go on stage, you stood on the right of Ningning, holding your cherry red bass in your hands. “What’s up, everyone!” Ningning says, the crowd already cheering at the sight of you five. “Well, we hope you guys are having a fantastic night, and we hope we can make it even better! So enjoy our first track, Lucid Dreams.”

You quickly came in on the intro, and to your surprise, many people in the club began singing along. Your smile grew wide as you chuckled, combing your hair back slightly to focus on the crowd. Without a care in the world, you strummed your bass as you got into the groove, your head lightly moving to the rhythm.

Yujin watched from the far corner of the crowd, admittingly enjoying the view. She wasn’t going to admit it to your face, but you were beautiful, and the bass made you very attractive in her eyes. The way you focused on playing, not caring about all the eyes and people that drooled over you. It was a pleasant sight, almost reminding Yujin of your old self back in the day. Those thoughts took her by a wave of emotions, her slight smile slowly disappearing.

She didn’t know where it all went wrong, but she did know that most of it was her fault. Yujin couldn’t blame you for the attitude that you always gave her. Did she hate you? She would've said yes if you asked her that ten years ago. Now, it was just something she got used to. After some time, Yujin couldn’t find the heart to ‘hate’ you any longer, but the constant fighting and bad-mouthing just became something that she was used to. Maybe she found comfort in it? She wasn’t too sure herself.

It’s why, when you got into college, she just decided to interact with you more through teasing and flirting. It felt as if she missed the person you once were or the friendship you once had, so to feel that old feeling, she resorted to this. Her thoughts get cut off by the sound of Spicy beginning to play.

Yujin’s eyes find your figure on stage again, and she sees you as the background vocals for the song as you sing lightly into your microphone. Your delicate-sounding voice and Ningning’s power made the song even more fun. The song called for sassiness and a lot of personality. Your playful facial expressions entertained Yujin as your eyes took a glimpse at the crowd. Your smile was addicting, causing Yujin to reciprocate it.

Was it possible to go back to the way it was?

That event was a month ago, a month of peace and quiet. You, Ningning, and Giselle decided to spend the day at Karina and Winter’s apartment. Winter had to run small errands, Karina was fixing clothes in their room, and Giselle and Ning chose to watch some Netflix. You sit in the balcony area, the same notebook and pen in hand, scribbling a line and revising it to your liking.

Your eyes followed the pages of lyrics, and after a year of working on it, it finally felt completed up to your standards. Ning peeks her head out and finds you closing the thick book. “Finally finished the song?” she asks as she reveals the rest of her body. Yeah, I think I finally have,” you nod with a tinge of happiness filling your voice. “Take a look?” you ask, handing her the notebook with it open to the pages. “Drowning?”

“Yeah, it felt fitting, you know?” You say as Ning reads the book, looking like she’s immersing herself in the book. “Y/n! This is so good! What key are you envisioning the song being in?” She asks, continuing to read the lyrics. “I was thinking an A flat major like,” You then begin to hum the melody, and Ning smiles at it. “It sounds amazing, baby bear,” she squeals excitedly.

“Guys! Come look?” Ning yells as she brings your book back into the apartment, and you follow. You see, Winter was just getting home with grocery bags in her hands while Giselle and Karina were now sitting on the couch. “She finally finished it?!” Giselle claps as she recognizes the book in Ningning’s hands. “Finally,” Karina says, smiling, knowing you’ve been working really hard on it. “Do you have the melody in mind?” Winter says tiredly as she plops her body down on their egg-looking chair.

“I do, but I still have to record the arrangement. I’ll send it to you this week, unnie?” You ask Karina, and she nods, “Well, I think I’ve found the perfect time for you to debut the song,” she says with a mischievous grin. “They actually responded?” Winter’s brows go high while the rest of us look evidently confused. “So wanna keep us in the loop, or are we invisible right now?” You asked.

“So last week I reached out to the Blackout, the venue that went viral on TikTok, and they replied that they wanted to hear our songs. It sounds pretty promising, so I’ll send them our tracks and tell them we have one we want to debut at their place.”

There was a pause, which felt like an eternity before the other four of you began jumping and cheering like excited little puppies. “I’ll literally work on it first thing in the morning and send it to you ASAP!” You collected your things and dashed out, making your way to your apartment. You dashed into the recording room that you set up and worked your magic.

…You basically stayed up all night to finish, but by eight in the morning, you sent the track with the vocal demo to Karina and were knocked out.

Within the next week, you were finishing up your part-time job at the local cafe in your area and felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. You take your time slot card out of the machine and head out, fishing your phone out. It was the band's group chat and Karina chatted.

MinMin Unnie🤓 FYI Blackout confirmed our schedule on Saturday night Be there or be square

You chuckle at the ‘loser’ like comment in the end as you put on your headphones, listening to the proper recording of ‘Drowning’ on your phone. You and Ningning decided to record the vocals of the song last week, and it sounded perfect. It was the first time your voice was being used as a lead vocal in the song. It was a pretty nerve-wracking experience for you, but Ningning assured that you sounded great. So now you guys find yourself at Blackout, setting up ahead of opening time.

“This is actually happening?” You hear Ningning ask, almost as if she was spacing out as she unraveled the mic cord. “Yeah, Ning, come on now,” Giselle giggles at the girl as she shakes her head. “You think we’ll fill out the venue?” You ask as you sit on the edge of the stage with your bass in your lap.

“You guys sure will,” You hear, and you turn to see the owner coming into the building with the social media manager. “Did you guys even check Blackout’s story?” The manager says, pointing to her phone. Karina gets her phone from her bag, tapping away and gasping once she sees something.

All of you looked at each other and rushed to her side to see what was so surprising. You see the long, messy line everyone was forming outside. “Are you kidding?!” Winter asks the two, and they nod, “Well, before anything even happens tonight, I’ll say congrats. You guys are gonna be a big hit.”

“Holy shit-” You voice, still staring at the story from Karina’s phone. “I know we’re all really excited, but it's time to get ready in the back guys.”

You all make your way to the back, doing hair, make-up, outfits, and warm-ups. Feeling pumped for tonight, you were just filled with excitement. Little did you know, Yujin’s bandmates informed her of your band’s performance, so they all decided to check it out. The line was horrendous, though, and the group felt bored despite nearing the front of the line.

“Did they actually get this many people to come watch them?” Chaewon asked, genuinely surprised at the fans you all garnered. “I didn’t know they were this well known,” their tall youngest asked. “Wony, I’m sure it's a mix of their fans, regulars, and tiktok fanatics that saw the venue,” Yena said as she saw so many people on their phones, watching the exact video that went viral.

After about forty-five minutes, the four girls make it into the venue. Yujin’s ears practically only heard the bass of the music, and it was so loud near the entrance. Her eyes scan the large building, the place already being halfway filled, in spite of the long line that was still outside.

She feels her hand being dragged deeper into the crowd, shimmying through the sea of bodies. They somehow made it through to the right end of the room to find the bar. The bartender was just being swarmed with people; the group just sat down and waited till everyone settled down.

“Can we get one old-fashioned, two mojitos, and one club soda, please?” Chaewon says, ordering for everyone. The three other girls settle beside her, and Wonyoung scrolls through her phone to see their promo set list for tonight. “Have you guys seen this? I think they're playing a new song tonight,” she flips her phone to the front, showing her unnies the question mark on the end of the setlist next to the number 10. “I guess we have to wait and see then,” as if on cue with Yujin’s words, you and your band step out onto the stage. Everyone in the venue is hyping you guys up, whistling, cheering, and even just flat-out roaring. Yujin and her girls couldn’t help but look at your guy's outfits, finding the slight hints of coordination pleasant. As Yujin’s eyes linger on your body, she almost has to do a double-take. She had never seen you look so… hot.

Yes, she admits you’re usually attractive, but fuck, did you look good. The tight body suit clung onto your upper half, showing so much skin. You practically glistened under the stage lights. Your set began, and these were all songs that the group had heard before. However, that didn’t stop the four girls from dancing hard with the rest of the crowd.

As you were on stage, the higher production of lights caused you to see less of the crowd, but you didn’t mind as it calmed the nerves for tonight. Due to your lack of vision, you focused on playing like no one was in the room. It actually felt freeing to play this way despite having one of your senses practically taken away from you.

Yujin, not noticing how many songs had passed, was surprised when the group began speaking. She sees Ningning smiling at the crowd, her exhaustion evident due to the heavy breathing. “So~, how did you like our songs, guys?” Everyone cheered at Ning’s words, which caused you to smile. “It has been a great show, huh? But like all good things, they must come to an end,” Karina tells the crowd, everyone responding in sadness. “Okay, maybe a little too much. We’ll always have more shows to come,” You say while looking at Karina, who laughs at you, calling her ‘too much.’

“Well, you all must be wondering what this last song is?” Winter asks the crowd, and you hear small ‘yeahs’ from around the venue. “We’re actually debuting a new song tonight, and you guys get the first listen,” Karina says in a hushed manner as if it were the biggest secret in the world. You hear the buzzes of ‘oh’ and ‘ah,’ and you feel the butterflies in your stomach already emerging.

“So this song is actually composed and produced by my lovely best friend, Y/n, here,” Ning states, giving you a side hug as you give a small bow at the hyped-up crowd. “She’s actually the one singing our final song tonight.”

Ningning’s words rang heavily in Yujin’s ears. You were gonna sing? Tonight?

Only if she had a seat on hand, she would’ve been sat already. She watches you come up to the front and center of the stage, bass carried behind your back as you speak into the mic. “So for the for time, you guys are gonna get to hear me sing,” many of your fan girls respond with ear-piercing screeches.

You chuckle, leaning your head back slightly so it wouldn’t pick up on the mic so much. “Well… are you guys ready?” Everyone cheers again, and the lights dim down low.

The silence killed people until they heard Winter’s guitar strumming a grungy yet slow and mellow sound. Then Giselle’s guitar comes in, layering the two sounds as the lights begin increasing a bit in brightness. The slight pause in the song counts you, Karina, and Ningning in, and people begin to hear your voice.

I was madly in love We argued so much You left first It's been raining all day here It quickly reached the tip of the chin I'm out of breath

Yujin listened to your velvety voice as it filled the entire venue. Everyone almost listened in silence, not only because it was a new song but also to cherish their first time hearing you. The lyrics interested the girl, and many thoughts flowed in her mind. ‘Who was this about?’ She thought.

The pendulum of my heart holds me deeper and deeper

Ningning seeming sang the backup vocals, having everyone nod their head through the build-up of the song.

Oh, I'm drowning It's raining all day, yeah-yeah (Yeah) I can't (Yeah) breathe, yeah Oh-oh, I'm drowning Oh, I'm drowning Oh, I'm drowning Oh, I'm drowning You're taking my life from me

Hearing the words, Yujin couldn’t help but think this was about her but in a love song. Feeling conceited even thinking about those words. Your emotions were overflowing, and everyone felt them while listening intently. You seemed to be expressing the hardships and burdens you felt in your heart.

As you sang the chorus, you kept your eyes shut, and the R&B sounds with hints of soul, no one in the crowd realizing that this was the voice you’d hidden from them. It was powerful; Yujin almost felt her skin crawl because of your voice. Your face somehow looked in pain, yet as the spotlights focused on you, Yujin couldn’t help but just stare. For the first time, Yujin saw you in your element.

It made her almost tear up; the way you sang tugged on her heart, and she felt as if she had to protect it by keeping her right hand on her chest. “You feeling okay?” Wonyoung asks, and the latter can only nod, just paying attention to you and only you.

After a few seconds, you seemed to get into the groove, as you looked much more relaxed on stage. You release the mic stand, and your hands find the strings of your bass easily without any hesitation. The realization settles into Yujin as she blanks while staring at you, just admiring every part of you.

…Is she starting to actually like you?

“Im so fucked.”

Taglist: ⟪𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽⟫

@lorenztired @1luvkarina @yuyuy90

#ive yujin x f reader #ive #ive yujin #ive wonyoung #choi yena #ahn yujin #kim chaewon #lesserafim chaewon #le sserafim #lesserafim #jang wonyoung #aespa giselle #aespa ningning #aespa karina #aespa winter #aespa #gxg #wlw #❅ ssivinee's fic

58 notes · View notes

uwurakax · 10 months ago

Text

-> HQ AS TAYLOR SWIFT LYRICS +

summary just the vibes of t.swift songs/lyrics and who (i think) match with the haikyuu guys ♡

-> i srsly missed them sm omg, clownin (also im rusty pls cri), maybe one day we'll write more on t.s songs bc dang she's killin it rn

(also edit bc i just came back to check this again before posting but, i thought it was fitting bc ya girl got eras tour tickets!)

(( edit two - you can see from above when i started working on this, came back and came back again rn, bc sis is making friendship bracelets rn for next month aa! and i got inspired by this lol - i also just have impeccable taste ))

featuring kageyama || oikawa || akaashi || kenma || atsumu ♡

+ i got other stuff ready to post promise, i just needed this out there +

KING OF MY HEART

"and we rule the kingdom inside my room, 'cause all the boys and their expensive cars... never took me quite where you do and all at once you are the one i have been waiting for, king of my heart, body and soul"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

it's not easy moving on. you'd been scorned before, and had your heart broken. it wasn't a secret to know you'd been on guard, had your heart under lock and key. created a tall, ivory tower that you made sure no one else would think of scaling. that was before you mer him. it was implausibly easy. how everything fell into place when you were just within his vicinity. maybe being hurt wasn't so bad, because if you didn't face them, they wouldn't have led you to him, here and now. he wasn't just the king of the court anymore, another invisible crown bestowed onto him as he climbed; holding the key to you.

- kageyama ♡

LOVER

"i take this magnetic force of a man to be my... my hearts been borrowed and yours has been blue, alls well that ends well to end up with you, swear to be overdramatic and true to my... lover"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you knew he was a star, anyone with eyes could see. he was destined for great things, and you were a planet following, orbiting around his sun. you'd always follow, for as long as he wanted. your greatest pleasure though was with the mundane. you'd take the stardom, the fame... but you lived for the monotonous. where it was just you and him. you hoped it would last forever. hand in hand, nothing would stop you. whether it was cheering for him on the sidelines, or laying beside him at night, you'd love him for eternity.

- oikawa ♡

GORGEOUS

"ocean blue eyes, looking in mine, i feel like i might sink and drown and die, you're so gorgeous i can't say anything to your face, cause look at your face; gorgeous"

��── ⋆��☆⋅⋆ ───

starstruck, awestruck, wonderstruck. any and every 'struck' you could think of, and thats the feelings that grew the moment you locked eyes on him. it was such a cliche, a crowded room with a bunch of other bodies, and yet you seemed to naturally gravitate towards him. love at first sight. a concept so wildly unbelievable and yet so captivating, that the most famous love story revolved around it. yet here you were, stunned into silence, because this was what you were experiencing now. completely out of your comfort zone, never had anyone ever made you feel like this before; but what could you say? he's gorgeous.

- akaashi ♡

YOU BELONG WITH ME

"i'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry, i know your favourite songs and you tell me about your dreams, think i know where you belong, think i know it's with me"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

it's not easy being in love with your best friend. you knew practically everything about him. so why was he with her when you were always in his corner from the beginning? the late night gaming sessions and text messages. she just wasn't good for him. she didn't understand him like you did, and his calls and conversations all but proved how much better you could be for him. so why? you didn't need to ponder long, because soon enough he was at your doorstep late into the night, confessing how it was a mistake, how he ended things with her and if he could come inside to talk.

- kenma ♡

CRUEL SUMMER

"and i snuck in through the garden gate, every night that summer just to seal my fate, and i scream for whatever it's worth 'i love you! aint that the worst thing you ever heard?' he looks up grinning like a devil"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you had heard about him. heard about how he wasn't good enough for you, and that you shouldn't get involved. you never were a good listener, and soon enough you became involved with him. despite the little voice in your head telling you to let go, you couldn't. it wasn't supposed to be forever, and you were okay with that. initially anyway. catching feelings for something that would end in disaster... but you couldn't end it. not yet. just how deep did you dive into whatever this was? you couldn't pinpoint when it went south, but did that matter? you were too far gone. the anticipation grew the longer this lasted, and in a bout of stress, you blurted out your confession. not your finest moment, and you were sure he'd shun you for good. turn his back on you and walk away, leaving you to mend your broken heart. he didn't though. he just stood there, with his stupid smirk that made you fall for him to begin with, confessing the same words you all but screamed at him moments ago.

- atsumu ♡

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #hq!! x reader #atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #oikawa x reader #oikawa x you #kageyama x you #kageyama x reader #akaashi x reader #akaashi x you #kenma x reader #kenma x you #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu drabbles #hq imagines #hq drabble #you can even tell its older bc its black for my previous theme lolol

171 notes · View notes

gatzbright · 1 year ago

Text

dream & george; falling in love

Dream: 'Have either of you talked about liking each other in the past?' George: *Scoffs* Dream: ... Well— George: *Giggles* Dream: Well, none of the answers fit. But I'd say, like, we've talked about 'whether' ... George: The weather? Dream: Yeah.

Dream: The realisation that, once again, I met someone that's not going to be my friend, but something more. They were never meant to be my friend in the first place. I can't avoid it. If I'm going to fall in love, I'm going to fall in love. So this song is a cry to please be gentle, please don't make me even more paranoid.

Dream: I want that part of my life to be private, you know? Regardless of who that person is ... Once the cameras are off, once we're not doing anything, it's our time. It's me and you. There's no one else. No one else exists in the world, regardless of the fact that there's thirty-million people that are looming over.

Dream: Because I'm famous and because I have all this attention on me—when I'm in my normal life it's like, I want to put the people in my life in the spotlight and make sure they feel that way. But then there's lyrics like 'the celebrity in my bed' and 'close the curtains now you're all mine' ... It's about, you know, that special someone in your life, and how in my mind, because I feel so special, I want them to feel that same specialness. So, yeah, it's about relationships and how I want that person to feel special like I do.

dream @/dreamwastaken: .@/GeorgeNotFound you've had such a big impact on my life I don't even know where to start. helping me code my videos sometimes, helping with random ideas within videos, encouraging me and always being the light in the room to make things even just a little bit brighter. you took a chance on me out of university, making thumbnails and coding for scraps because we wanted to make it big and I’m proud to say that we did it and I’ll have an appreciation for you for the rest of my life because of your friendship, kindness, and love you’ve shown me. love you man. idc if you’re never serious or if we joke around a lot, you have a place in my heart and I’m looking forward to finally meeting you and taking our next step in content creation and friendship. LOVE U

Dream: 'Spotlight' is a song I wrote about making that special someone in my life feel as special as they truly are ... I want to be there to support them through the ups and downs, and make them feel like they have a million fans screaming cheering them on, even if it's just my voice echoing a million times. They are the most important person in the world and the only one in that spotlight of love and admiration, and I want them to know that.

a lot of my future is your future

Head Over Heels / Broken, Tears for Fears | Dream and George retake 'Am I In Love With My Bestfriend' Quiz, DNF Discord Podcast | Head Over Heels / Broken, Tears for Fears | Dream Team House Cooking Stream, Awesamdude VOD | The Diaries of Franz Kafka, Franz Kafka | Paranoid, Dream | to whoever wants to hear – lyric booklet, Dream | Franz Kafka Letter, Franz Kafka | Red Doc>, Anne Carson | Photograph of Dream and George during the Foodbeast's Panel at Twitchcon San Diego, @/itsjusttai_ | Dream Team Christmas – Baking Cookies, Sapnap VOD | Paranoid, Dream | Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince, Taylor Swift | Dream's Snapchats of George, @/dream | Paris, Taylor Swift | Dream breaks down his new EP track by track, Associated Press | long story short, Taylor Swift | Dream and George on set: Everest – Dream & Yung Gravy BEHIND THE SCENES, Dream Music | Dream breaks down his new EP track by track, Associated Press | Spotlight, Dream | Technoblade Charity Stream George's POV, GeorgeNotFound VOD | Dream and George during Foodbeast's Kitchen League Battle Royale at Twitchcon San Diego, Twitch VOD | October Passed Me By, girl in red | Waiting for a Star to Fall, Boy Meets Girl | Dream Team Christmas – Gingerbread Houses, GeorgeNotFound VOD | dream Tweet, @/dreamwastaken | Dream Team Christmas – Baking Cookies, Sapnap VOD | "George napping and the sun is literally beaming him square in the face" – Photograph and Tweet, @/dreamwastaken | Paranoid, Dream | Dream and George on set: Everest – Dream & Yung Gravy BEHIND THE SCENES, Dream Music | to whoever wants to hear – lyric booklet, Dream | Dream Team House Cooking Stream, Awesamdude VOD | SOMEONE MADE A DISSTRACK ABOUT ME???, GeorgeNotFound VOD | Paranoid, Dream |

#whew !!!!! WHO ELSE IS FEELING CRAZY #memememmeememem #constant state of delirium and just utter hysteria like. dream wrote love songs about his george his boy his soulmate his best friendhis lo #both of whom we've been shipping n writing n reading fics n creating fanart for YEARS bc we could see it and. now its kinda beenhardlaunche #romance is not dead if u keep it just yours !!!!!!!!!!!!!#IM SO HAPPY FOR MY BABIES MY DNFIES ohmygod likeisferejrghrgeuoegrh #this took hours btw its now 9am and i had 1hour sleep ijust. don't know anymore this is dnfs fault #poured my blood sweat n tears into this load of crazy TRUTH. time to write dnf fic now o7 #compilations #web weaving #dnf #my dnfies #dreamnotfound #dreamie #georgie #love #timeless #tin can #my webs

294 notes · View notes

lexlovergirl · 4 months ago

Text

ྀOn the road ྀ

How you and farleigh went from hating each other to being two little demons always together.

Tw:small slut shaming and mean comments

Song: Shut up -Black eyed peas

Summer 2003 , you have been friends with Felix for two years now. And somehow you and his cousin Farleigh never got along. He was always extra mean to you, more than he was with others. He was always teasing you and giving you mean comments so it was only fair you gave him the same treatment.

This summer you again were going to Saltburn. Ducan went to pick up you, Venitia, Farleigh and Felix after the last day of school. You were forced to sat in between Venitia and Farleigh on the back seat not too happy about that.

Farleigh looked down at you and your outfit with a disgusted look. “Slut ass skirt” he said to get a reaction out you. Even at 15 he had a dirty mouth. You rolled your eyes, you loved that skirt. “You’re just jealous you couldn’t pull it off” you spit back crossing your arms. He scoffed “please my ass would actually fill it up”

You didn’t reply to that, only ignoring him. You just focused on the music playing in the car and turn your head to the side so you wouldn’t give Farleigh the satisfaction of seeing you pout.

Venitia had decided to put a Black eyed peas cd. You hummed to most of the song not really knowing the lyrics more than that. That was until Shut up started playing.

You sang Fergies part perfectly, not missing one word. But when the guys part came you shut up not knowing the words. That’s when Farleigh jumped in. “Girl, me n you were just fine, you know..” and he kept going until Fergie started singing again and so did you.

You looked at him and smiled, you were surprised he knew the song. He rolled his eyes at you playfully and returned the smile. Y’all kept singing the song together exchanging the part. You two put your heart into it, really putting on the act of a broken couple while singing.

When the song ended Farleigh gave you a look, you couldn’t tell if he was judging again or reevaluating. “You like Black eyed peas?” He asked you still giving you that look. “No, I just happen to know their lyrics my heart” you replied sarcastically and that made him huff.

“By heart? You knew Fergies part, nothing without me” he said in a playful tone instead of straight up mean tone. “Shut up we killed it together” you said laughing softly. He laughed along with you “okay okay I’ll admit we sounded good”

Felix took a glance at you two. “You’re friends now? Took long enough” He was happy he’s finally gonna be able to spend two seconds without you guys fighting. But Venitia her chuckled softly she knew it wouldn’t be long before you and Farleigh start causing trouble together. Ducan just sighed, it was just the beginning of the summer and he was already tired with you all.

That was the beginning of a friendship between you two. Soon to be two gossiping queens and being mean n sassy to other people together instead of to each other. And who knows maybe a few years later some kind of attraction will make its appearance between you two

ྀིྀི ྀིྀི ྀིྀི ྀིྀི

Yall i hoped you liked it, ik it’s short but soooo cute…. And I know I haven’t posted in ages and I’m not fully coming back I just thought about that little one shot.

Also the Farleigh community is dying!! Ik i can’t complain cus I’m not adding more contant too😭

#archie madekwe #farleigh start #saltburn #farleigh start x reader #farleigh catton #farleigh saltburn #farleigh imagine #in love #coquette #i love him #2000s #2003 #black eyed peas #felix catton #venetia catton #summer #Spotify

44 notes · View notes

julianalvarez9 · 2 years ago

Text

i think he knows / ruben dias

summary: ruben knows exactly what you're thinking -because he's thinking about it too, has been thinking about it for so long. but he wants you to do something about it. until you do.

warnings: bold and italic text = song lyrics (i think he knows, by taylor swift). again, badly traslated portuguese (sorry, ruben anon, didn't want to bother you 😭). mentions of alcohol and the consumption of. use of john and jack as plot devices bc they do almost nothing jajajaj. like, one mention of "inappropriate" dancing??? don't know if i've forgotten anything else.

wc: 1.3k words.

i think he knows his footprints on the sidewalk lead to where i can't stop, go there every night.

"ruben, you need to stop bringing me to these places", you huff, annoyed, while holding the jacket he draped over your shoulders to try and keep you warm in the cold, manchester night. the walk from his car to the club's entrance wasn't that long, but you didn't want to go out in the first place: only accompanying your best friend because he asked you to.

once he closes the passenger side door behind you, he places his warm hand against your small back, and you start walking by his side, hoping the cold hair hitting your face helps to freeze the heat inundating your cheeks. "who would i bring if not you, meu anjo?" (my angel), he asks, tilting his head like a confused dog. ruben had the widest smile on his face, and it's the same grin that had you agreeing with him to come in the first place. you curse under your breath for having a best friend so charming. after announcing your names to the employee at the door, they let you two inside the club, his hand finding yours instantly when the sea of people gets too hard to navigate.

his height proves to be of great advantage when he needs to find his teammates in the multitude. it's easier for him, just looking ahead and seeing john's fluffy hair sticking out like a sore thumb in the bar, his laugh too almost being heard through the loud music when you eventually get to them.

"ah, there they are!" city's number five starts clapping when he sees you two, approaching to greet you two: ruben, with a side hug and a pat on the back, you, with a barely-there kiss on the cheek. "i thought you two weren't coming", jack laughs from behind him, and you greet him with a confused look. "why? i thought ruben had confirmed with you".

"well, you look very pretty tonight, maybe ruben had finally-".

the winger learns to keep his mouth shut when ruben glares at him, already knowing what his mate would have said if he hadn't intercepted the sentence: "maybe ruben had finally grown a pair". it wasn't a secret to anyone, much less his teammates that heard him talking about you everyday, that he was whipped. and ruben was quite certain that you wanted him too, at least in some way, but for whatever reason, he couldn't do anything about it.

being scared wasn't an excuse. he prided himself on it, on being fearless: it's what being a defender requires, he always says. but maybe he feared more being rejected by you, and thus, losing your friendship, than getting a ball aimed directly at his face. he was sure that missing you would definitely hurt more than a black eye or a broken nose.

"a pint, yeah?" he asks, directly in your ear, once he has come back to his senses. you nod approvingly, but before he drops your hand to go find your drink, he feels your slightly smaller hand tightening over his: your silent way of asking him if he was okay. ruben only hums in affirmation, only to realize you can’t actually hear him, so he just smiles before planting a kiss on your temple, and running away.

i think he knows his hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it's mine.

the drinks keep flowing for everyone, except ruben. he’s known for not drinking alcohol, and keeping his uptight appearance at all times: that’s where his teammates balance the matter out.

“i think you should go check over your friend there,” said jack in an overly animated tone when the music subsided a little, and you turned to set your eyes on the table where ruben was seated. he had his elbows resting over the table, forearms on show due to him rolling his long sleeved white shirt up. the top buttons were messily undone, but he still looked like he was sculpted by angels. his hands were occupied by a cold glass containing some form of non-alcoholic beverage, for sure, and although it wasn’t a sight that you hadn’t seen before, it made you feel warm inside.

he divided his attention from john, who was the one keeping him company, before searching for someone in the sea of people. he stopped when he found you, but his demeanor changed when he saw jack holding tightly to your waist. the glass suddenly looked like it could burst at any minute by the amount of force he was gripping it with, and his eyebrows frowned in confusion at the thought of jack being the one holding you like that, and not him.

ruben didn’t have to think twice before downing his drink in one go, like it could provide him some kind of liquid confidence -the one that only alcohol could give you-, before standing up and making a beeline towards his teammate and you.

poor man, if he only knew that little grealish wasn’t trying to make a move on you, but rather, trying to keep his balance after having, certainly, too much to drink, his feet wouldn't have carried him to you so quickly, almost like a bull seeing red.

“john needs you over there, mate”.

wanna see what's under that attitude. like, i want you, bless my soul.

if you didn’t know your best friend so well, you might have missed the cues. but even now, while having certainly too many pints, you can recognise he’s mad.

“why are you angry?”.

he’s perplexed, like he isn’t expecting you to see right through him. in a second, his jaw unclenches, and he’s back to his usual persona: the ruben you know, the one you love. “wasn’t angry, anjo (angel), just missed you,” he says. and even if it’s not the whole truth, it’s half of it, and you try to hide the heat flowing to your cheeks by turning, his chest now flushed against you back. “dance with me, then,” you jokingly said, taking his hands into yours to settle them in your waist.

at first, he’s unsure. his hands only rest at your side, and he’s barely moving, though you keep on trying to press your body against his, even if he’s intended to keep his distance. normally, you loved this part about him, how he’s always so respectful, so caring, just so unically him. but not tonight. whether it is because of the alcohol you consumed, the place being so hot or the indecent thoughts you had about him all night -that appeared to come out of nowhere-, tonight you want to rile him up.

“god, you’re no fun. jack’s a better dancer than you”.

it seems to light something in him, because his grip tightens, and suddenly he doesn’t care about you moving your ass directly onto his crotch. instead, his body's impossibly closer to yours, at the point where you can feel his breath on your neck, fuelling the goosebumps that erupt on your skin. ruben seems to know what you're doing, or what you're trying to do, because he whispers it in your ear. "meu anjo se transformou em um demônio esta noite, não é certo?". (my angel turned into a devil tonight, isn't that right?).

when you turn to look at ruben, his eyes are the darkest you've ever seen them. even with the low and coloured lights at the club, which difficult your vision, you can feel his piercing stare. your arms go in the air, before wrapping them around his neck like it was second nature, and his hands find their home in your waist, holding you flush against him. you hope your doe eyes made him understand, without you having to verbally tell him, that you want him to take you home. and magically, it seems like the case, when he grins, his million dollar smile before taking your hand in his and dragging you towards the exit, without turning around to tell your friends -his teammates, about your sudden departure.

i ain't gotta tell him, i think he knows.

#football imagines #football imagine #football x you #football x reader #football x y/n #ruben dias imagine #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias x you #ruben dias x y/n

461 notes · View notes

spineless-lobster · 1 month ago

Text

MY THOUGHTS ON THE VENGEANCE SAGA HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

(Spoilers under cut)

Okay I took like half an hour to yell about this with my brother so I have a few thoughts in order here we go!

1. Not Sorry for Loving You

First of all this song is absolute bop like calypso they can never make me like you BUT they can make me like your song.

“I’m angry and tired and restless and sad” honestly me too girl welcome to the club (also the flow in this verse is crazzyyy)

Odysseus is a braver man than I if I was him I could never tell her I love you in any capacity lmao

The ending is 😭👌

2. Dangerous

LETS FUCKING GO I’VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS!!!!

“Six hundred deaths under my command” okay that’s just fowl you can’t say that

The acoustic guitar in the beginning is amazing actually

NO BECAUSE WHEN HE SAID “Cause I had one goal in mind” AND WE HEAR THE SILENCE WHERE THE CREW USED TO BE????? THAT SHIT BROKE ME DUDE!!!!!

HERMES WITH THE AEOLUS LYRICS/MOTIF/WHATEVER THE WORD IS I SEE YOU GIRL I AM A BIG FAN!!!!!!

Everyone who was like “aeolus and hermes would be besties” YOU WERE ALL RIGHT!!!!!

GROOVY!!!!!!!!! TIME TO FUCKING GROOVE BABEYYYYY!!!!!! ✨✨✨✨

“Wash it away like the blood your hands have known” that is such a raw line to come from such a funky character hermes girl you did NOT have to read him like that

WELL IT’S A LITTLE BIT ✨DANGEROUS✨ MY FRIEND!~

Windbag ex machina

To quote my brother: “the windbag is such a broken item” 😭

HERMES X WINIONS LETS GOOOOOOOO

SING IT ODY!!!!!! YOU’RE GONNA USE RUTHLESSNESS BABE!!!!!!

“Don’t thank me, friend, I’m not the one that fought for you” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAthena

3. Charybdis

This one is another banger!!!!

The ody monologue as he is talking to charybdis is really cool actually

OHHHHH BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!

“My love” what if I just died violently

Ohhh fuck here we go lads

That “NOOOOO!!!!!!” is so fucking visceral oh my GOD when jay said voice acting he MEANT Voice Acting

4. Get in the Water

The erratic piano!!!!!!! That’s so cool!!!!!

Ohhhhh fuck wet hades is here

The way he says “get in the water” is so cold. It’s like You Don’t Have An Option. Get in the fucking water.

“I’ll take your son and gouge his eyes” okay I know we were cheering on ody when he was doing it to your son mr poseidon but have you considered that telemachus has never done anything wrong in his life ever?

Poseidon: I’m going to fucking kill you and your gay little island

Odysseus: have you considered greeting the world with open arms?

Lads how many fucking years has it been I don’t think ody knows how to count

THE EDITING OF STEVEN’S VOICE HERE AAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHH ITS SOOOO GOOOOD!!!!!

I KNEW IT!!!!! I FUCKING CALLED IT!!!!! I KNEW POLITES WOULD COME BACK I KNEW EURYLOCHUS WOULD COME BACK I KNEW WE’D HEAR THE CREW!!!! (Tbh I should’ve expected anticlea but ssshhhh) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH I FUCKING LOST MY MIND HERE!!!!!!

I see you draw your final breath~

Okay but literally in this moment I think this is where we see everyone forgive odysseus. Whether they lost their lives to mistakes like with polyphemus or a conscious decision like with zeus. Here we see everyone odysseus has loved who has passed away stand by him, telling him that they’re waiting and ready to greet him with (pardon me) open arms in the underworld.

ALSO I JUST NOTICED THAT POLITES SAYS “we can tell you’re getting nervous” not “I” and THAT’S how I know ody died (or at least was on the edge of death) for a few seconds in that moment and interacted with the shades of everyone

5. Six Hundred Strike

Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my FUCKING god

I said this song would break me and I was fucking right

ODYSSEUS HAS THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP ON HIS SIDE MOTHERFUCKERSSSSSS

THE INSTRUMENTAL GOES CRAZY!!!!! THE METAL FUCKS SO HARD!!!! THE ELECTRIC GUITAR!!!!!!

Bro the hades soundtrack called they said they want their fucking music back

The deliver of “MY WIFE!!!” DUDDDEEEEEEEE

Literally if you don’t get yourself someone like odysseus don’t even try to get anyone else never settle for less okay the gods created men and then sent odysseus as an apology

STORM MOTIF!!!!!

FULL SPEED AHEAD TUNE!!!!!!!

Poseidon: fuck you

Odysseus: whatever, go my six hundred strike

“You’re going to call off that storm.” The amount of BALLS this man has HOW DOES HE WALK AROUND WITH THOSE

Odysseus said “if I can’t kill you I guess I’ll torture you forever” literally that’s my favourite war criminal

ODY’S MONOLOGUE AS HE’S STABBING POSEIDON HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS THE RAWEST SHIT EVER!!!!!

Literally the animation for this was so good it felt illegal to watch like is this allowed???? Can I stomach this??? This is the most fucked up thing I’ve ever seen????? In a good way????

“I’m still the same” in keep your friend close vs. “Look what you turned me into” in six hundred strike <3333

“Look what we’ve become.” It’s reminding me of how ody and scylla harmonized “we are the same you and I” godddd he truly has become the monster rawr rawr rawr

The way poseidon says “NOO” and “STOP!!!” is so crazy actually

POSEIDON SINGING MONSTER WHAT IF I JUST FUCKING DIED ON THE FLOOR!!!!!

“After everything you’ve done. How will you sleep at night?”

“Next to my wife.”

LITERALLY I SCREAMED INTO MY FUCKING PILLOW WHEN HE SAID THAT!!!!!! THAT IS THE COLDEST MOST RUTHLESS FUCKING LINE EVER HOLY FUCK ODY I THINK YOU ACTUALLY JUST FUCKING KILLED HIM!!!!!! THERE IS NO COMING BACK FROM A LINE LIKE THAT!!!!! LITERALLY THE BEST WAY TO END THIS SAGA!!!!!!!

Closing thoughts

JAY WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU JAY!!!!!!

When he said vengeance saga he meant Vengeance with a capital V

Bro all I’m saying is that if I was penelope and I heard all of this go down… let’s just say telemachus would no longer be an only child

Also! In the midst of my boisterous reaction I uhhhhh broke my vengeance saga bracelet so I’m gonna have to fix that eventually

Uh… yeah… I’m gonna go like….. lay down for a bit or something…

#bro holy fuck #I am in shambles #no one talk to me ever again actually #wake me up when the ithaca saga releases #epic the musical #epic the vengeance saga #epic the musical spoilers #the vengeance saga #jorge rivera herrans #the man that you are

21 notes · View notes

ohdorothea · 29 days ago

Text

This tournament is being run by and for queer fans so please keep that in mind! Homophobes will be blocked on sight <3 More polls here and more info here! Lyrics for the songs and FAQ under the cut!

High Infidelity lyrics

Lock broken

Slur spoken

Wound open

Game token

I didn't know you were keeping count

Rain soaking

Blind hoping

You said I was freeloading

I didn't know you were keeping count

High infidelity

Put on your records and regret me

I bent the truth too far tonight

I was dancing around, dancing around it

High infidelity

Put on your headphones and burn my city

Your picket fence is sharp as knives

I was dancing around, dancing around it

Do you really want to know where I was April 29th?

Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?

Storm coming

Good husband

Bad omen

Dragged my feet right down the aisle

At the house lonely

Good money

I'd pay, if you'd just know me

Seemed like the right thing at the time

You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love

The slowest way is never loving them enough

Do you really want to know where I was April 29th?

Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?

High infidelity

Put on your records and regret me

I bent the truth too far tonight

I was dancing around, dancing around it

High infidelity

Put on your headphones and burn my city

Your picket fence is sharp as knives

I was dancing around, dancing around it

Do you really want to know where I was April 29th?

Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?

You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love

The slowest way is never loving them enough

High infidelity

Put on your records and regret meeting me

I bent the truth too far tonight

I was dancing around, dancing around it

High infidelity

Put on your headphones and burn my city

Your picket fence is sharp as knives

I was dancing around, dancing around it

Oh, there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love

And it's never enough, it's never enough

Lock broken

Slur spoken

Wound open

Game token

I didn't know you were keeping count

Rain soaking

Blind hoping

You said I was freeloading

I didn't know you were keeping count

But, oh, you were keeping count

🫶🫶🫶

You're On Your Own, Kid lyrics

Summer went away

Still the yearning stays

I play it cool with the best of them

I wait patiently

He's gonna notice me

It's okay, we're the best of friends

Anyway

I hear it in your voice

You're smoking with your boys

I touch my phone as if it's your face

I didn't choose this town

I dream of getting out

There's just one who could make me stay

All my days

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes

I waited ages to see you there

I search the party of better bodies

Just to learn that you never cared

You're on your own, kid

You always have been

I see the great escape

So long, Daisy May

I picked the petals, he loves me not

Something different bloomed

Writing in my room

I play my songs in the parking lot

I'll run away

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes

I called a taxi to take me there

I search the party of better bodies

Just to learn that my dreams aren't rare

You're on your own, kid

You always have been

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes

I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this

I hosted parties and starved my body

Like I'd be saved by a perfect kiss

The jokes weren't funny, I took the money

My friends from home don't know what to say

I looked around in a blood-soaked gown

And I saw something they can't take away

'Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned

Everything you lose is a step you take

So make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it

You've got no reason to be afraid

You're on your own, kid

Yeah, you can face this

You're on your own, kid

You always have been

🫶🫶🫶

The question is which song is queerer to you! Queerer can mean whatever you want it to mean; you might consider a song queer because you think it was written that way, or because of Swiftian lore. It might be queer to you because of how you relate it to your own life. Maybe you think from a purely literary standpoint the lyrics have queer themes; maybe you're just thinking about vibes!!!

If you’d like to send in interpretations or propaganda for a specific song you can send them to my inbox! All interpretations are welcome and let’s be open and kind in response to all interpretations <3

#tsqst

22 notes · View notes

shortnotsweet · 4 months ago

Text

APPLES IN THE SKY (excerpt from THE THRILLING AND NOT AT ALL REPETITIVE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN MAN AND KID DANGER: “A CHRONOLOGY OF ENTIRELY TRUE AND HEROIC EVENTS COINCIDING WITH THE END OF HISTORY”) [1] [2] [3] [4]

[ Henry’s face is unreadable. In the background, desert mountains and vegetation rush past. Smoke rises in the distance, backlighting ambiguous red shapes that could be plant life, flaming crosses, or even ominous figures. The camera cuts to the back of the car with the invalid license plate reading “HERO”, speeding towards a red horizon. Ray twists back in his seat with a smile, reflected in the lens of Henry’s sunglasses. In the review mirror, Henry’s expression is contemplative. The shot pans to a bird’s eye view of the car eating up highway miles. ]

Charli XCX’s “Apple” from BRAT (2024): “I guess the apple could turn yellow or green. I know there's lots of different nuances to you and to me—I wanna grow the apple, keep all the seeds, but I can't help but get so angry you don't listen to me. To the airport—the airport.”

PANEL NOTES:

The smoke is an implication of wildfires in the surrounding area, which Henry and Ray simply drive past because there’s nothing else to do. Maybe those days are behind them. Maybe they’re just not adept in the art of firefighting, and the bigness of a wildfire is too rural or too raw for them to even adress. I think there’s a sort of irony to it, and it’s either heroes ignoring a disaster past their prime or simple not caring; they’re speeding off into an undefined future and therefore no longer grappling with apathy, but sliding into it. Thus, the road is interpreted as a junction between natural conflict running its course and urban obligation.

This was vaguely inspired, albeit not lifted directly, from my millionth or so reread of “Cuticle Tear” by atbash on AO3. Granted, it takes place in a broken-down truck and is not needlessly melodramatic, but AO3 user atbash does more with obligatory dialogue and omitted assumptions than I could do in 20 panels or so.

Specifically, the lyric “‘cause I’ve been looking at you so long now I only see me. I wanna throw the apple into the sky, feels like you never understand me, so I just wanna drive…” struck me as somewhat in line with the feeling—and example—I got from the fic.

Of course, neither yellow or green are used in the actual color palette, but the song carries themes of intertwined identity and generational effects passed down. I think Ray has imparted a lot of the best and worst things about himself to Henry, through the means of their friendship, professional, and mentor relationship. He’s not his dad. It’s worse, almost, that he’s not, because then it would at least be hereditary.

“Apple” is my favorite BRAT (2024) song right now, so of course it’s stuck in my head; I think there’s a flippant, escapist quality to it and can imagine two friends listening to it on the highway, checking out, but also—there’s not quite a realization, more like an unspoken feeling that what you are is a product. And it’s someone else’s fault. And when you look at each other, you’re seeing something else, or maybe you’re trying to. There’s something distantly escapist and obviously upbeat about the song, but there’s a disdain there, too.

It’s hardly visible, but the license plate on the car reads “HERO” singular, which is invalid but implies they have either a fake plate or Swellview is just so strange that their town itself has exceptions as to how they’re issued, again violating the laws and conventional physics of surrounding territory. They’re a weird exception, as always, and they’re getting away with it.

Their identities are so intertwined at this point that theyre conflated, so there’s an obligatory ego flattening going on as well as an erasure of both or one of them—most likely Henry’s—to accommodate. You might call it being a teammate, although how Henry feels about it after all this time is unsure.

Ray did this to him, the good and the bad doesn’t matter; it’s the fact that he did it.

#henry danger #henry hart #captain man #ray manchester #henray #dangerverse #kid danger #my art #smt smt smt this is the most depressing roadtrip thats ever occurred that just wasnt a straight up kidnapping #blah blah blah he’s not his dad but if he was this would be worse almost. or better. there would be an excuse somehow.#ok i had to repost bc smt the app went all weird and i got paranoid #their identities are so intertwined that its a joint thing and henry knows but cant even say it out loud because that’ll break the illusion #and its almost worse to find out than to wonder. so he’s looking at him and thinking do you remember me. in the sense that however much ray #sees him as that little sidekick or extension of himself vs a seperate entity is so ambiguous it might not even matter.#anyway just girl things to think about tehehehe

38 notes · View notes

littlethingsinlife · 2 years ago

Text

i'm sorry (happier part 2)

A/N: I was not expecting the amount of positive feedback for the first part and I was even more surprised to see people asking for a part 2! It was originally created to be a one-shot but a part 2 really fit well with how the first one ended. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you again for all of the love and support! I hope you all enjoy. I also want to thank my friend, @tummymoth, they really helped me flush out and refine my rusty ass writing (also let me word vomit at them till midnight sometimes).

Pairing(s): Past Lo’ak x Omatikayan!Reader, Ao’nung x Omatikayan!Reader, Slight mentions of Lo’ak x Tsireya

Warnings: Lo'ak's POV, Swearing, Ao'nung saying something sus ONE time

More Info: My vision for this part 2 was to create a reply in Lo'ak's pov. So we'll have a look at what he experienced and thought process (not too sure if any of that made sense) but I was inspired by Joshua Bassett's song "i'm sorry" and it played constantly as I wrote this. Hopefully I was able to do right by my idea haha.

Summary: 7,547

Part 1: Happier

Key:

(Y/N) = Your Name

Lyrics = Bolded Italics

Flashbacks = Italics

Na'vi Words:

Yuey - beautiful (refers to a person)

Skxawng - idiot/moron

Marui - Pods where the Na’vi live

Ilu - sea creature similar to dolphins

Ikran - dragon-like creature

Tulkun - sentient creatures similar to whales

Olo’eyktan - clan leader/ chief

I thought about what I would say

But I’m two years too late

I can’t imagine how you’re doing these days, hmm

Sure, it wasn’t perfect back then

I’ll be first to admit

But it was better than being strangers again, oh

It had been a couple of months since my interactions with (Y/N) dwindled to terse smiles and barely audible greetings. If you asked me to point out the moment our friendship started to change, I couldn’t tell you. When did our bond start to break? When did it even start to crack? We used to talk every day about all the things we did and planned what pranks to pull on everyone, but now? Now, she barely looked in my direction. Now, she wouldn’t even give me the time of day.

I couldn’t remember when it started, but I knew that it was somehow my fault I grew distant once we arrived in Awa'atlu. I guess I was just so fascinated by the new environment and people, I didn’t even realize a rift started to form between us in the first place, much less that it started to grow.

The night before we left to find a new home, I held (Y/N) as she let out sobs filled with fear and anxiety. It broke my heart, but all I could do was hold her and let her cry until she was calm enough to tell me what was on her mind.

“I-I am afraid, what if the sky people come to find us again? I cannot lose any of you; it would break me into a million pieces,” she sobbed.

“If they find us then we will fight and we will win,” I reassured her, gently rocking her back and forth.

“You are an idiot, I was so close to losing you, to losing Kiri, Tuk, how do you think it would make me feel to lose the most important people in my life?” she sniffled. My chest ached at how broken she sounded, but the only thing I could do was assure her and offer her more words of comfort as I held her in my arms.

“I promise that I will be with you throughout the journey as will my family. We love you, and even if you do not believe it, you are a Sully. And you know what my dad always says.”

“Sullys stick together,” we chorused.

That night, I cradled her in my arms until she fell asleep.

Fuck, I completely broke my promise to her, how could I forget? Shaking my head, I tried to reason to myself, “Maybe she just needs time alone. I’m sure she’ll come running back soon once she realizes that it's no fun without me, her best friend.” I felt a small, unfamiliar feeling in the pit of my stomach. “Right?”

I’m drunk too late talking to the moon

Writing songs I can’t sing to you, ‘cause

“Bah! Stop lying, I know you (Y/N). You would have fought alongside me and defended Kiri. You are not the same girl I knew in the forest back home,” I muttered, rolling my eyes and getting up to leave. Honestly, who did she think she was fooling? The skxawng had the balls to insult Kiri, and all she did was sit back and watch. She didn’t even make a move to help until it was to help him by pulling me off. “Talk to me when you’ve come back to your senses,” I called over my shoulder, refusing to look back.

“Lo’ak! Bro—” a hand roughly grabbed my shoulder, jolting me out of my daze, “why’re you just staring off like that?” I whipped my head to see who the hell it was that was bothering me, only to be met with Neteyam.

“Did you have to grab me that hard?” I hissed before my initial anger gave way to a heavy feeling. “It's nothing, just—just lost in thought” I sighed, shrugging his hand off my shoulder.

“Right, sure, nothing.” he crouched down beside me. “Don’t think you can lie to me lil bro, you’ve been spacing out more than you usually do. I didn’t even think it was possible to be more empty-headed than you already are,” he stated.

“Wha—no I haven’t,” I tried to argue, but of course, he wasn’t convinced.

“Can you stop arguing with me for once and just tell me what’s going on with you, you skxawng?”

I scrunched my nose in distaste and inhaled sharply, “(Y/N) and I have been… distant,” I admitted, turning to look at him. “She won’t even look at me. She either only answers me with one word or doesn’t answer at all.”

He nodded, motioning for me to continue.

“I—the last time we talked, I said things I didn’t mean. Things that just came out because I was so frustrated and… and angry. It was the heat of the moment and I—”

“What did you say skxawng, did you hurt her?” Neteyam interrupted, face twisting to show the beginnings of distaste.

“No, no—” I sputtered and raised my hands to calm him before he could go on an hour-long lecture that I absolutely was not in the mood to hear. “At least I don’t think I did… I just wanted to ask her why the hell she was helping fish lips, that’s all—”

“You didn’t answer me Lo’ak, what did you say to (Y/N)? I don’t care why you did it, I want to know what you said to elicit such a reaction from her.” By Eywa, if he would just give me a chance to get to the point—

“I—I told her that she was not the same girl that I knew back in the forest..." my ears lowered as the weight of what I said slowly sunk in. “And that she could talk to me once she came back to her senses,” I whispered, internally cringing at my harsh words..

“You fucking skxawng—”

“Can you stop calling me that? I already know, you don’t need to keep repeating it…” I scoffed, looking out into the ocean. I’m good enough at beating myself up over the hundreds of times I’ve messed up in this lifetime, I didn’t need another disappointed set of eyes on me.

My ears twitched at the deep sigh he let out. “Look, I’m sorry that I keep calling you skxawng but that is exactly what you are for saying something so hurtful to your best friend of all people. The two of you were inseparable the moment you were born. Even if you don’t want to, suck up your dumbass pride,” my ears flattened again. It wasn’t pride, I’m not prideful. It—it was me needing (Y/N) on my side. We used to always be on the same page, and when she said I was wrong for wanting to defend Kiri against those assholes, it felt like she was siding with them instead of me, and—

Okay, so maybe it was pride.

“Admit that you were wrong, and go talk to (Y/N),” Neteyam insisted as he put a reassuring arm around my shoulders, jostling me around to prove a point. “Your friendship is so much stronger and Eywa knows that a heat-of-the-moment argument isn’t going to break that. You should have more faith in her.” His gaze sharpened before he schooled his expression into something calmer. “Just talk to her, yeah?”

“...Yeah,” I mumbled, swallowing down whatever argument was trying to bubble up from my throat and prying his arm off me. “You’re right. I’ll just clear things up with her and apologize. Everything will go back to normal after that, thanks bro—for listening,” I agreed.

Ever since that day

The things I didn’t say They haunt me, oh

And I know that I’m to blame

So, go ahead and

Blame it on me, oh

Our lessons on the ways of the Metkayina were finished, so it was rare for the entire group to be in the same place. But every once in a while, we all finished our chores at the same time and found ourselves near the shore where we first learned to ride the ilu, and sat around a fire hours before eclipse, laughing and exchanging stories.

The rarity of these moments made me cherish them that much more, but two people continued to miss our not-so-scheduled gatherings the past two moon cycles. How was it possible that they were the only two to keep missing our hangouts? Were they together? Fish lips had better not be doing anything to (Y/N) or so hel—

“(Y/N)! Ao’nung! You guys made it!” Rotxo laughed.

“Yeah, yeah, quit shouting will you?” Ao’nung shot back as he sat down next to Rotxo, (Y/N) smiling softly as she followed.

“So, what’ve you guys been up to? We haven’t seen you in what feels like ten moon cycles.” Neteyam questioned.

“Teyam, you saw me earlier today, you literally helped me feed our ikran,” (Y/N) joked. ‘Teyam? When did she start calling him by anything other than his given name?

Ao’nung swatted her side with his stupidly wide tail and swung an arm around her shoulder with a remarkably punchable smile on his face “More like he was trying to make sure you didn’t accidentally give them your fingers for breakfast. They would’ve gotten indigestion.”

“Haha very funny Ao’nung,” she drawled, “I would’ve fed you to Tekay instead, but she would’ve gagged the moment she caught a whiff of you,” she scoffed as she quickly pushed him away by the chest.

“Wait… Do they even have a gag reflex?” Fish lips didn’t budge, he just had a dumb look of confusion on his face.

“No, but they would defy the laws of biology to gag just for you,” she quipped, sticking out her tongue and moving to push him away again, but the skxawng had the nerve to pull her into a headlock.

“Oh, yuey, the ikran won’t be the only ones gagging on me tonight,” he argued with a smirk.

Did I want to punch that smirk off his face? Did I want to gag? Both? Before I could make a decision, (Y/N) grimaced, pushing him away again and smacking him upside the head.

“That’s actually repulsive. You’re disgusting.”

“Dude, keep it in your pants, her family is right there,” Rotxo laughed, doubled over as he struggled to catch his breath.

“Yeah, we’re right here,” I interjected with a smile—wanting to join in on the jokes that were being thrown around—but it was hard to keep my face from falling when I saw (Y/N)’s bright expression falter.

“Anyway, what were you guys talking about before Ao’nung and I arrived?” she asked in a too-bright tone of voice she only used when she desperately wanted to change the subject. As if everyone came to an unspoken agreement to forget about the conversation before, one by one they all started talking about who they thought would win in a fight—Toruk Makto, or our Olo’eyktan, Tonowari.

The sound of laughter and excited chatter faded as I replayed the previous conversation in my head. When did they start joking around like that? Why the hell did fish lips call her yuey like it was the most natural thing in the world? How come she smiled so easily with him but faltered when she sees me? She was probably smiling with him right now—

I looked over at her, a pit in my stomach already forming at the idea of her smiling at him, but she looked so distant, so withdrawn from everything around her. Before I could even blink, she put a delicate hand on Ao’nung’s arm to grab his attention and mumbled something in a hushed tone. After a few beats of silent conversation, Ao’nung nodded and gave her a look of understanding.

Why did he look at her like that? How much time did they spend together to be able to understand each other with just a look? How much time have I wasted breaking my promise to her while she grew closer to someone else?

Standing up, I made up my mind that I would talk to her and clear up any miscommunication. There was no way in hell I was about to let fish lips ruin our childhood friendship. Before I could even get close, Neteyam pulled me aside.

“Bro, why’re you glaring at everyone?” he asked with concern written all over his face.

“Glaring?” I tilted my head in confusion. “I’m not glaring, this is just my face.”

“No, no.” He shook his head. “I’m your brother, I know your face. Whatever look you’ve been throwing at Ao’nung and (Y/N)? You may as well have been throwing knives at them.”

Behind Neteyam, I could see (Y/N) get up to bid everyone good night and slowly walk in our direction. This was my chance, I just needed this overbearing idiot to leave me alone.

“Whatever look you think I’m giving to them, you’re wrong,” I denied. “Can you not act like this right now?” My tail flicked side to side impatiently, an obvious twinge of annoyance clear in my tone. I licked my lips nervously as I could hear footsteps coming closer. Leaning slightly to the side, I looked behind Neteyam to see (Y/N) and—

Ao’nung? What? Why is he there?

“Good night,” (Y/N) muttered, not sparing us a glance as she walked past. I followed her every move and—as if everything slowed down—my eyes narrowed as they found Ao’nung’s hand placed on her lower back, leading her gently in the direction of the marui.

I know that I’m too late

But I’ll say it anyway

I’m sorry

Though it's far too late

“I did it! Did you see that Reya?” I shouted—out of breath—as I showed off the shell Tsireya threw.

“Yes, yes you did it!” She exclaimed, excitedly wrapping her hand around mine. For someone who spent so much time underwater, her hand radiated so much warmth. So easy to hold. My heart swelled with pride as she continued to compliment me. “You’ve improved so much!”

“Yeah? Well, I had a great teacher,” I joked, nudging her softly with my shoulder. It wasn’t just her hands that were warm either, she just seemed to radiate it.

“Oh stop, you flatter me too much,” she denied, fidgeting with her hair. Was that a blush on her face? “C’mon, why don’t we catch up with the others? Private lessons are officially done for the day,” she announced as she led me to shore. Oh Eywa, she looked so pretty like this, with her hair flowing down her back and the way her eyes cast down when she became flustered. And her smile, it was a smile that could knock the air out of my lungs.

While we walked onto shore, we joked around and laughed with each other, talking about anything and everything. The ease of each reply and joke came as smoothly as gliding through the water on an ilu—as easy as breathing. Laughing at another one of Tsireya’s jokes, my eyes scanned the village as we approached it. Families were winding down for the day as they cooked dinner, although I didn’t see mine anywhere nearby aside from Kiri.

My smile slowly dropped when I was able to make out Kiri looking frantically around as if she was searching for someone. Tsireya and I made our way to her, worry filling the pit in my stomach. As we got closer, I could see Ao’nung climb down one of the roots of the Mangrove trees and make a beeline toward her. My eyes stayed on both of them, making sure that fish lips didn’t do anything to Kiri.

Ears twitching I was able to make out the words, “(Y/N)? Did you find her? ” from Kiri as they were carried on the wind toward us.

“Yeah I did, I was able to get her to eat, but she’s not looking too good,” Ao’nung replied with concern lacing his voice.

Brows furrowing, I pulled Ao’nung by the shoulder. “What do you mean she’s not looking good? Where is she? What did you do?”

“What the hell do you mean? I didn’t do shit, freak.” I rolled my eyes at the insult. He couldn’t use that thick head of his to think of anything else to call me? From the pained look on his face, I could tell that my grip on his shoulder had too much pressure. Good. Served him right.

Before Ao’nung and I could continue our argument Kiri groaned, “Will the both of you skxawng shut up! I’ll go talk to her.” My eyes followed her retreating form as she went to talk to (Y/N)—tail lashing back and forth in agitation all the while—before turning back to Ao’nung.

Who the hell did he think he was? I’d beat his skxawng ass if he hurt (Y/N) in any way. He had no right to look so damn worried. They weren’t even close. What even happened? How long had she been missing for Kiri to go to fish lips of all people for help? Should I follow Kiri? Why didn’t (Y/N) come to me? She always came to me, and if she came to me now, I absolutely would have listened. Why—

“Lo’ak? Hey, are you okay? Lo’ak?” a hand softly placed itself on my arm. Closing my eyes in frustration, I sighed.

“Yeah, perfectly fine.”

Damn it, was that when it started? How idiotic and blind have I been that I didn’t even notice that her trust in me started to slip and die when it was right in front of me? Why didn’t I go to her and make sure she was okay? I should’ve punched that idiot’s lights out—

“Ao’nung! Stop pulling me you skxawng, you’re walking too fast, slow down!” a hushed voice chastised.

“C’mon yuey, we only have about an hour before eclipse, we have to hurry!” His voice grated against my ears as he responded.

“That’s plenty of time!” (Y/N) insisted. I could hear the laughter bubbling up in her voice as she chased after him. “Please Ao’nung slow down, I can’t keep up.”

“It can’t be helped, you’re so short—” a whack could be heard. “Ow!”

“I’m as tall as Tsireya, you giant!”

“Both you and my sister are short—Ow! Alright, just because you did that, you leave me no choice,” Ao’nung said, throwing (Y/N) over his shoulder with a laugh.

The bickering voices got closer, and my eyes narrowed at the way he held her. My breath hitched as he whispered something in her ear that made her ears perk up and her eyes widen. What the hell was he saying to her? Before I could spring up from my spot, Ao’nung tossed (Y/N) in the water, her yelp quickly interrupted by the sound of her body hitting the water.

I stayed in my spot as shock zipped through my body. Letting out a breath I didn’t know I held, her head popped out of the water, a playful glare on her face.

“I told you, you left me no choice,” he stated, guffawing at her expression.

“Oh yeah?” she groused, spitting out seawater as she wrung out her hair. “Well fuck you too. Help me out of here?”

“Only if you say the magic word,” he taunted, crossing his arms with a smirk. “Otherwise, I’m afraid my hands are tied.”

“Please, oh great son of our Olo’eyktan, help me out of the ocean,” she beckoned dramatically, sarcasm dripping from every word while she rolled her eyes. “It’s about time you recognized my proud lineage, forest dweller,” he said as his chest puffed out with a hand reaching towards (Y/N). And there was that stupid smile on his face.

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, a mischievous smile spreading across her face as she reached for his hand, making sure to tug with enough force to unceremoniously yank him into the water.

“So much for the son of a great warrior! Your instincts are shit!”

“My instincts are dull you say?” he questioned as his head popped up next to her. “We’ll see about that!”

“Wha—AHHH—'' she wheezed. “No, please Ao’nung stop! That tickles!” Her arms flailed wildly in an attempt to free herself from his grasp.

What the fuck.

My ears flattened at an angle as I tried to process the scene unfolding before me. When did she start laughing with him? That should’ve been me she was laughing with. Not him, not the skxawng who had been nothing but rude to us since we arrived. What… what was I even saying—Fuck I didn’t know anymore. Why did I feel like this every time I saw them together… laughing and making jokes like we used to?

And it was me, it wasn’t you

It’s cliche, but it’s true

I wasn’t thinking how I usually do, oh

And is your momma doing well?

Or does she still hate me?

But it was hard to watch me put you through hell

I’m drunk, too late, talking to the moon, ooh

Writing songs I can’t sing to you, ‘cause

Two weeks had passed since I started noticing the changes in (Y/N)’s relationship—friendship?—with Ao’nung. It was like every time I blinked, I could see her laughing loudly as Ao’nung tickled her with a triumphant smile on his stupid face. Since that day, I had been trying to find a way to talk to (Y/N), but she was never alone. She was always with him and when she wasn’t, she disappeared and I couldn’t find her no matter how hard I looked.

Now here I was, wandering around trying to look for her as I rehearsed what I wanted to tell her.

Where could she be? Dinner was in an hour and she wasn’t anywhere near our marui. I had to find her soon so there would be enough time for us to talk. I had to tell her that I miss her, that I was sorry for being so dumb, that I shouldn’t have let my pride blind me, and that I didn’t mean any of the things I said.

There was only one place I hadn’t looked yet… hopefully she was there.

As I was getting closer to the root Kiri stalked to, I could see two silhouettes beside each other. An all-too-familiar feeling bloomed in my chest once I registered that she was there with him.

Her melodic laughter made my steps falter. I clenched my fists tightly, contemplating if I should go over there and pull her away, force her to talk to me, to listen. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t do that to her, not when she looked so content, so happy.

Ever since that day

The things I didn’t say

They haunt me, oh

I know that I’m to blame

So, go ahead and

Blame it on me, oh

“Lo’ak? You said you were going to look for (Y/N) and never came back. She’s already in the marui helping mom cook,” Kiri stated, a twinge of annoyance lacing her voice. “Hey, are you listening?” She shook my arm slightly, making me jump out of my stupor.

“Yeah, sorry, you said dinner was ready?” I asked as I stared off.

The sand beside me crunched softly as Kiri made a move to sit beside me. “No, I said that (Y/N) is with mom helping her cook. Where is your head at?” she asked as she tilted her head to try and meet my gaze. “Are you alright?” The annoyance in her voice shifted to concern.

“I’m fine, yep—just… fine,” I brushed her off, hoisting myself up to head towards Mom and Dad for dinner before Kiri yanked me back down.

“Lo’ak, don’t pretend you’re okay when you’re not. Tell me what’s going on,” she urged. “Maybe I can help you with whatever it is that’s occupied your mind lately.”

I inhaled sharply, debating if I should tell her what had been muddying my mind, the reason why I had been so spaced out, why I had been glaring daggers at fish lips each time I saw his stupid face next to (Y/N)—how confused I was.

“Stop with the thinking skxawng, you might hurt yourself,” she admonished. “Just tell me. It’s not like I can’t handle it.”

Huffing, I rolled my eyes and turned away from her to look at the sea. I hadn't even said anything yet and Kiri was already making me feel idiotic. How was I supposed to tell her what's been going on like this? Maybe if I kept quiet for long enough, she would get tired of waiting for me to start talking and go on to eat dinner without me.

A couple of minutes of silence passed.

I could still feel her staring at me.

“I’ve—I’ve been conflicted,” I started, tongue feeling heavy in my mouth as I continued to stare at the shoreline. “I don’t know what I’m feeling.”

“What do you mean?” Kiri nudged my shoulder with hers. “Elaborate a little more, I can’t help if you don’t tell me the reason why you’re feeling confused.”

“...Whenever I see (Y/N) with Ao’nung, it’s as if I can feel my heart aching,” I said, motioning toward my chest to prove my point. “There’s always a… a surge of anger that rushes through me. All I want to do is pull her away from him so then everything can go back to the way things used to be—for us to be okay.”

“Lo’ak…” If I was looking at her, I’d probably see Kiri tilt her head with sympathy. But sympathy isn’t what I needed right now.

“I want her to look at me and smile, to laugh with me, hug me—but now, whenever I get close to her, she’s next to him, laughing with him, cracking the jokes we would make to each other… I just—” I rubbed at my face in frustration. It wasn’t as if the words were hard to come by—I had spent so much time bottling them up that it was hard to stop talking. No, I just hated the fact that I felt this way in the first place. “I don’t understand why seeing them makes me feel like my heart is about to explode—why it makes me want to scream. It hurts.”

“Lo’ak” she put a hand on my shoulder. “Are you—are you in love with (Y/N)?”

Love?

I sputtered in surprise and whipped my head toward Kiri to see if she was joking or not. What kind of a sick question was that? I wasn’t in the mood for any games.

“What? No, she’s like my… sister?”

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “If you’re not, then why does seeing her with Ao’nung hurt you so much? Why do you care as much as you do?”

“I shouldn’t!” I wrenched my shoulder away from her hand and stood up. The need to move around and do something—anything—was too much. There was too much energy thrumming right beneath my skin to sit still anymore.

“That’s the problem! After everything I said to her, done to her? I don’t have the right to say I’m in love with her. She’s my childhood friend, Kiri. That’s all our relationship has ever been… I just—” I paused in thought and tried to calm down. “I didn’t realize seeing her have so much fun with someone else would make me feel so, so hollow—”

“Let me ask you something, you have to promise to be completely honest with me, okay?”

I nodded, not even looking in her direction.

“When (Y/N) tried to pull you off from Ao’nung that one fight months ago, what did you feel? Angry? Betrayed? Jealous?”

Jealous? Did she really think I was sulking for months because of such a petty feeling? I’m not a jealous person. I never have been.

“Seeing her jump in to get me off him made me feel like she was siding with him and telling me that I was wrong. Her actions were clear as day to me, Kiri.” I started to pace around. “She was protecting him—caring for him when she should’ve been next to me, helping and supporting me. When she did that—I felt like the only person that’s ever been on my side—” I croaked and turned my head to look at Kiri as tears stung my eyes “The only person who didn’t see everything I did as some sort of disappointment or failure, abandoned me and chose someone else.”

“...”

“I know that I could’ve approached her a different way but how could I when I felt so broken?” I inhaled sharply, eyebrows furrowed. “ It’s all fish lips’ fault. If he wasn’t such an asshole, none of this would have happened, and (Y/N) and I would still be the same, she would still be by my side—supporting me, loving me.”

“Why do you keep blaming it on Ao’nung?”

“Because it is his fault that things have turned out the way it has.” I threw my hands up, exasperated. What wasn’t Kiri getting? “He’s getting in between my relationship—er—friendship with (Y/N)! If he wasn’t there I would be able to talk to her and tell her I’m sorry, but she’s always with him—”

“Stop! Are you hearing yourself?” She nudged at my foot to interrupt and scoffed. “You’re unbelievable, you know that? (Y/N) told me what you said to her, how ‘she wasn’t the same girl’ you knew back in the forest. Do you know what happened when you told her that? Do you know how much pain she was in?”

Pain? I snorted, turning towards Kiri. “Now I know what you’re saying is bullshit. You know how (Y/N) is—if she really was pissed at me she would’ve come to me instead of running to someone else.”

“She wasn’t pissed. She cried because of you, Lo’ak. Because of what you said.” I stopped dead in my tracks to look at her. Kiri's eyes didn’t waver. Another heavy feeling settled on my chest and clawed its way up my throat. If you had asked me what it was, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you. Was I sad? Guilty? Angry? Was I jealous like she said?

I settled on anger.

“If you’re saying what I think you’re saying—”

“The person that found her that night, the one who comforted her? That was Ao’nung. He held her in his arms as she sobbed when I found them.” She stood up too, forcing me to stop pacing.

“The last thing I want to hear about right now is him, Kiri. What the fuck—”

“Did you ever think about why she’s so comfortable with him now? Why they’re so close? While you ignored her for weeks, he made sure she was okay—made sure she ate every day. He didn’t leave her side until she finished,” Kiri pointed out, and before I could even think to open my mouth to remind her how shitty he was to her especially, she cut me off. “Yes, he was an asshole at the beginning, and yes he has a screwed-up way to show he cares, but he stepped up when you fucked up.” She poked my chest with a glare before she continued.

“Oh, so I’m a fuck-up now?” I asked wryly.

“You can’t put all the blame on someone that took care of your best friend. Stop being so blinded by your pride and hatred and see that you’re the real reason why your relationship with (Y/N) isn’t the same as it used to be.”

My heart sank a little more as I scrambled for something to say. “How could you say that—”

“No, you do not get to interrupt me right now, Lo’ak.” Her eyes flashed with something closer to anger than annoyance. When was the last time I saw her angry? “Listen and listen well. When we couldn’t find (Y/N) and we were looking for her everywhere—he was the one that found her spot, the one she isolated herself to so she could cry alone, and no one would see how much pain she was in. And what were you doing in the meantime?”

My ears flattened at her rising tone, and I was finally beginning to understand the weight stuck in my throat and chest. Not anger, not even jealousy.

“You were out there with Tsireya, stuck in your own little world.”

It was my fault.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy that you found her but you can’t have both of them. You can’t be that selfish. From (Y/N)’s perspective, you’ve already chosen the one you want.”

“It’s not like I’ve actually chosen anyone yet,” I tried to interject, but all the fight had left my voice as Kiri’s words dug into my skin and sunk in.

“Don’t you dare play with either of their feelings. (Y/N) held so much love for you in her heart, she allowed herself to break to the point of no repair because she didn’t want to show you how much it hurt her to see you at your happiest with Tsireya.” She paused before continuing, her voice losing its edge. “Let her move on, brother. And if it’s Ao’nung that makes her light up the way she used to, then you suck it up and let him. He was there when your pride wouldn’t even let you apologize or even look in her direction. Actually think about how she feels for once.”

I hated the fact that there wasn’t anything I could say to prove her wrong.

“It’s all I’ve been thinking about nowadays,” I muttered.

I know that I’m too late

But I’ll say it anyway

I’m sorry

I’m sorry, hmm

I’m sorry

Though it’s far too late

“I thought I was already doing that,” a faint voice huffed in annoyance. Turning the corner, I saw Ao’nung and (Y/N) standing on the beach together— far too close for my liking.

“You were, but you got sloppy. Here, you have to move your hips like this,” he said as he corrected her posture. My ears flattened against my head as he put a hand on her hip and gently directed her movement.

Why did he look so gentle with her?

“Ao’nung,” (Y/N)’s voice rang out, clear as crystal despite her uncertain tone. “Are you sure you should be teaching me this? This is a traditional Metkayina dance, right? I’m…” she hesitated, her voice becoming smaller. “I’m not Metkayina—”

“Yet.” He interrupted, holding her face in his hands. “You are not Metkayina yet. Once you become one of us, you will have to learn the dance to celebrate the return of our spirit brothers and sisters, so why not learn that now?” I hated how reassuring his voice was. The thought of how either of their eyes looked as they held contact made my stomach turn.

“Yeah… you’re right,” she mumbled with an unsure look on her face.

“Woah, hey pretty girl, look at me,” he insisted, laying his hands on her shoulders and bending his neck so they were at eye level. “I’m serious when I say you will become Metkayina one day, so don’t worry yourself over it right now. Okay?” Ao’nung tilted his head to the side, an unbelievably soft expression on his face. “You have me here to help you.”

“Alright…” (Y/N) mumbled, not convinced.

“If you don’t get rid of that look on your face I’ll throw you into the water,” he said as his face shifted from sincerity to something mischievous. “Or worse… I’ll tickle you,” he threatened.

“You better not Ao’nung, or I swear to the Great Mother herself I will hu—AHH—get away, you skxawng!'' She laughed as she tried to run away, but Ao’nung grabbed hold of her waist and pulled her into his arms. And despite her words of protest, it was clear as day that she was leaning into him while they scuffled on the sand.

“No!” she shrieked with glee. “You can’t make me go in there again!”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that, forest dweller!”

A thought occurred. Should I go up to them? We never got the chance to talk, after all. I took a few steps in their direction before freezing. When was the last time I heard her laugh like that? She had the biggest smile on her face, and the one who made that happen wasn’t me—it was him.

And if you ever hear this

I hope you know that

I’m not proud of who I’ve been, ooh

And if I see you again

I hope you know that

I wish you nothing but the best

And my biggest regret

The afternoon was quiet, relative silence only interrupted by the crashing of waves. Without much to do, I just sat in our marui and lazed around with Tuk until a horn blew.

“The tulkun have returned! Everybody—our brothers and sisters have returned!” Tsireya’s voice rang out, and when I poked my head out to see what the fuss was about, I saw the megawatt smile on her face, as she swam by on her ilu.

The village came to life as everyone mounted either ilu or canoe to make their way to the tulkun. From here, I could see little more than a large group of dark shapes making their way through the water. Payakan himself was dauntingly huge, but to see a whole pod of them show up like this? It was spectacular. I watched the commotion unfold from one of the walkways, lost in thought before I felt water splashing at my feet.

“Come on Lo’ak! Don’t just stand there, let’s go see the tulkun together!” Tsireya urged, still smiling. Shaken out of my stupor, I grinned widely—diving into the water and clambering onto her ilu. lu may be lithe animals, but I could still feel sinuous muscle under velvety skin as it made adjustments in the water to keep balance.

“I’ll come, but only if you’re offering a ride,” I joked, gently holding her waist and playfully leaning onto her. The cool water around us made her skin feel that much warmer. It was nice.

Before I could see her reaction—I would’ve bet anything at that moment that her cheeks had become flushed—we began to quickly make our way toward the rest of the clan and the giant tulkun.

The air around me vibrated with the excitement and happiness of loved ones returning, and Tsireya was no exception—the speed of the ilu gave away her eagerness to be with her spirit sister. As we leaped into and out of the water, Tsireya’s laughter was carried by the wind and reached my ears. That, and the answering whoops and bellows of Metkayina and tulkun alike, was almost contagious enough to get carried away by the energy surrounding us.

“My spirit sister is down there,” she said as she dismounted, sliding off her ilu and into the water. “Wait here, yeah?” she smiled at me before diving down.

I was more than happy to watch the Na’vi around me. Looking around, I was in awe of the sheer amount of tulkun gathered in one area, and how each Metkayina was able to identify their spirit sisters or brothers so easily. Looking down into the shifting waters, I saw Tsireya catching up with her spirit sister, waving her hands around and swimming through the water alongside her.

All around, I could hear people telling stories and the deep, booming calls of the tulkun as they responded with tales of their own. New parents were showing their babies and calves, and as my eyes scanned the horizon, I could see small children holding onto the tulkun’s fins as they were lifted to the glittering ocean surface.

Not too far away, I heard the sound of a body hitting the water and the sound of grating, but familiar laughter along with an indignant (Y/N) sputtering.

“Ao’nung, what the fu—”

“Hey, hey, relax! It’s just some water. There are children here, yuey,” Ao’nung chided with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“The parents of those children are going to have to explain what it means to return to Eywa once I’m through with you,” she retorted, treading water and becoming even more unamused when he raised his hands in mock surrender.

“Woah there pretty girl, you’re talking to the son of the mightiest warrior in all of Pandora—”

“That’s funny, I don’t see Neteyam here,” she interjected, pretending to search the waters around them before turning back to Ao’nung and tilting her head, “do you?”

“Just because you said that you can have fun finding your own way back to shore,” he said as he turned his ilu around.

“Oh, c’mon Ao’nung, don’t be like that,” she rolled her eyes and reached a hand towards him. “You’d really leave me here to fend for myself?”

He turned and wagged a disapproving finger at her, “I’ll consider forgiving you if you say word-for-word that I’m the son of the mightiest warrior in all of Pandora. I can’t have you slandering my father’s name, yuey.” She groaned and leaned back into the water.

“You couldn’t pay me enough to say that load of bull—”

“Nope!” he didn’t give her a chance to defile the ears of any nearby children and crossed his arms. “I wanna hear you say it.”

“...”

“I’m still waiting.”

With a sardonic smile, she finally caved. “Why don’t I do you one better? You’re the mightiest warrior to exist since the time of the First Songs,” she declared, sarcasm dripping from every word as she slapped at the water for emphasis.

“That’s what I thought, was that so hard?” Even if I wasn’t able to see them, I still would have been able to hear the stupidly wide smile that made its way across his face.

“Don’t be such a big baby and let me meet your spirit brother!”

“Just because he’s here to visit today, I’ll let that one slide for now.” Ao’nung rolled his eyes, dismounting his ilu to join (Y/N). “Now hold on tight and hold your breath like how we practiced.”

We? Who the fuck was we? Why was he allowing her to meet his spirit brother? Why were they looking at each other like that?

I watched both of their silhouettes submerge and breathed deeply, forcing my thundering heart to calm as I slowly sank my head into the water. At first, all I could see were blobs floating around in the water, but once my eyes adjusted, I could see the fluid movement of Ao’nung talking to his spirit brother. Eyebrows furrowing, I swam a little closer and hoped that I would be able to see what was being signed. With each movement made, it was clear that Ao’nung was translating the clicks and bellows of the tulkun to (Y/N), and whatever was being said made her smile widen by the second.

I couldn’t watch anymore as my chest burned from the lack of air and I resurfaced to catch my breath. For once, I was thankful for the lack of lung capacity I had. I climbed back onto Tsireya’s ilu. Seeing as she wasn’t back yet, I sat back and leaned on its neck to face the sky.

Did she always glow like that when she smiled? Whenever she was with him—she always looked so happy, so vibrant. Would she have looked like that with me by her side if I didn’t push her away? If I was there for her like I had promised? I wanted to tell her sorry—that I was sorry for taking our friendship for granted, for making her go through it alone. I wish that it didn’t take seeing her smile and laugh with someone else to make me realize how I felt.

I willed my tears to go away.

Is this how she felt? Seeing me with Tsireya? Great Mother… I was truly horrible, wasn’t I? I wished things turned out differently. Maybe in another universe, I did talk to her—realized sooner, made her happier—but now? Right now, my heart was torn in two, watching as someone else picked up the pieces of the heart I crushed. No amount of words could fix what we used to have, and even though I wanted to whisk her away, tell her I love her—that I see her—that seeing her with him made my skin crawl, I knew I couldn’t. I was no longer worthy to be part of her life, because of me and my actions alone.

I had become nothing but a stranger.

Ever since that day

The things I didn’t say

They haunt me

I know that I’m to blame

So go ahead and

Blame it on me, ooh

I know that I’m too late

But I’ll say it anyway

I’m sorry

Hmm, I’m sorry

Oh-oh-oh-oh, I’m sorry

Taglist: @midnightliacr @immortalbloodhuntress @arminsfloll @whenercolorfulrainbowlol @dakotali @lexilander27 @zatarias-pandora @vanillawhale @kazupop @owaowaowawa @sopiasleeps @siabhshjsjsjsjshznzn @jimfiqs @ihave500hubbiez

489 notes · View notes