#Bro-Am Beach Fest | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kpopchangedme · 4 years ago

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Sun-drenched [M] - Youngjae

Every time you opened your mouth something outrageous came out but unfortunately, your new dorky step-brother seemed to be immune. You couldn’t tell if Youngjae was actually that clueless or if your reputation preceded you.

Protagonists: Choi Youngjae & You

Word Count: 4.6k

Genre: NSFW - Cringe Fest - Smut - slight exhibitionism - f*ckgirl - Stepbrother!au || [One Shot]

[The Pleasure Chest: A Cringe Fest]

GOT7 | M.list

Your mother was doing that thing with her hair again, slightly shaking her head every time her new beau spoke. Every single bob invariably made her blonde curls spring. How disgusting. You had asked to be bleached once, a few years ago, and she had the audacity to claim it would look cheap on you. So unfair.

She hadn't met her fourth husband for more than 6 months before she did just that. She thought it made her look younger, but Miami-midlife-crisis was more like it. It wasn't pretty wheat blonde, it was white yellow-ish banana buttercream. On-sale daffodil... Much like the sad ones Youngnam had gotten her from the convenience store yesterday. They were now awaiting certain death in a crystal vase husband-number-two had gotten her for God knows what occasion.

You rolled your eyes when your latest stepfather started going over safety rules again. At your dad's there was never a need for them and if you correctly remembered the last time you had lived with your mom... You smiled, imagining how Dr. Top Surgeon would react if he found out his perfect church-going wife used to pop pills like candy and store a very impressive bong in the third drawer of her kitchen.

That would make for a fun scene.

The goodbyes seemed to stretch half an eternity in the living room, after which you got dragged to the hall where the speech began all over again. Your mom gave you a short hug, more of a shoulder squeeze, then she pulled back and frowned with intent as much as her botox allowed. You shrugged off her silent don't-screw-this-up warning, already waving goodbye to her husband. Shoo shoo, you thought, sending the adults off to a far far away location.

As soon as the door shut behind, you squealed in excitement.

Summer had officially begun!

Moving half across the country to fake “house sit” their new place while they honeymooned in Boca wasn't exactly what you had scheduled for your vacations. But when Youngnam accidentally let the words infinity pool and cars – as in with an S – slip out during the weekly video call, not even the dread on your mother’s face could’ve deterred you from flying over.

As it turns out, Dr. Choi was loaded.

Something you probably would’ve figured out earlier if you’d bothered showing up for the ceremony at all. Unfortunately, the wedding hadn't matched your Spring Break’ schedule and you decided having been present to the many previous ceremonies should be considered enough daughterly care for a lifetime.

As you bent to the freezer for a celebratory parent-free popsicle, you felt the eyes of that gift-that-came-with-the-house glued to your ass. He briefly glanced down at the flash of your stomach’s skin when you jumped to sit on the counter.

Surprisingly enough, your mother’s many rings had never once come with a step-brother before...

Usually, she went for the bachelor or womanizer types and those had the decency to never have baggage. Dr. Choi was a break of pattern and the news came with complete horror on your part.

For as long as you could, you had made a duty of never meeting his son, pretended he didn't even exist. So when the bubbly blended trio came to pick you up at the airport yesterday, you had been shocked.

They had said soloist of the local Choir and you’d heard; loser. Piano lessons? Dork. All-boys school graduate? Stuck-up. Computer Science Major? Nerd alert.

No one had talked about… That.

As a matter of fact, Choi Youngjae himself had not spoken much either, but he was certainly looking...

And there were few things you enjoyed more than having a man's undivided attention.

Standing in the middle of the kitchen in all his glory, your new step-brother was staring, as usual, watching intently as you sucked your popsicle. You made sure to make a show of it.

“So… What about lunch?” He finally asked even though it was barely 9. Just to rattle him you hummed on the sugary treat as a reply. Mission accomplished. “S-Should I order pizza?”

“Don't worry, I’m easy...” Youngjae’s gaze fluttered down to your belly ring again. Boy, if he liked that one he had a few things coming. “I’ll eat anything if it's on you.”

Gaze widening, he pretended to look at something over in the living room and walked away.

Wait no, the poor guy literally bolted out of the kitchen to escape to safety. So fast one could wonder if this whole first exchange was the fruit of your devious imagination.

Oh no, you had just traumatized your babyish step-bro.

It made sense, you were one scary bitch.

All-boys school graduate? Virgin, you mentally took note.

Or perhaps your mom had said something about you devouring the souls of poor innocent men. They said the apple never fell far from the tree. Grinning like a shark, you discarded the melting popsicle in the trash.

This promised to be one Hell of a summer break.

______________________

“It’s been more than 10 minutes...” Chimlin flipped the phone over to yell unintelligibly at her demonic baby twin sisters. Despite the protection, you winced. “No DMs.”

“Then he hasn’t seen it yet.” Artlessly reporting for BFF’ duty was a lot more fun face to face, but for a few months, video calls would have to do. “Trust me.”

“I don't know,” she whined, going on all over again about how her boyfriend hadn’t picked up the phone since their nightly routine fight of yesterday.

Sometimes you wondered if you’d even follow her back on Insta if you met this current sad version of herself. Kinda hard to tell, but she used to be the coolest baddest chick on campus. Then she was partnered with that Italian exchange student for a Statistic class, disgustingly dripping pheromones, cash and European pizzazz. Yes, Statistics. The most boring course ever, let's be real. But Chimlin was a genius, the deadly hot kind. No matter how shit-faced she was, that girl could track the B-52s and Gin Tonics’ calorie count of each respective member of your girl squad, not that she'd ever had to care herself.

Then Massimo came. At first, he was just a casual hook-up, but he managed to worm his way into her brain and grew there like a tumour. By the end of last semester, they were full-on steady-going together like in cringy 90s rom-coms. He was always stuck to her like a parasite.

Gone was your favourite 4 feet 11 party animal.

“Do you have any idea how many bitches Mas could meet this summer?”

You snorted, “Not even close to the number of dicks you could have in Pattaya if you wanted to.”

“Phatthaya,” she corrected automatically with a dramatic eye-roll. “That’s the thing, I don't want to. I only want one dick and he's miles away.” She waved her hand to brush it off right as your mouth opened in protest.

Her Italian barnacle did want to remain with her on campus for summer, but Chimlin thought she had better plans that involved a lot more beaches and fruity drinks. She simply couldn't live with her own poor life choices now and you were just about to tell her so when a flash of skin on the screen distracted you.

“What else have you been hiding?” You sing-sang, impressed by the view.

She glanced over her shoulder, “That's my uncle. Like... He’s literally my mom’s lil’ brother. Gross.”

“I know what an uncle is and that's a very hot one if I’ve ever seen one. You can look.”

“We’re not all depraved sluts like you.” She only half-teased with a sharp laugh. “How's the cute new brother doing, by the way?”

“No idea.” You flipped the camera and zoomed on Youngjae's bedroom window like to prove a point. The curtains were drawn, concealing anything worth mentioning from view. You were lounging by the pool on one of those fancy long chairs, much as you had been for the past week. Margarita, sunscreen, repeat. If this boring routine went on, you’d be so tanned by the end of summer no one on campus would recognize you. Sometimes you did think Youngjae's curtains were wobbling, maybe he was spying on you but it could all be your imagination. “Typical. He's been in hiding from me since day one.”

“I don't blame him.”

“Don't blame me for wanting him either. He's a good boy in a bad boy’s body.”

“I don't even know what that means...”

“No one does. But he's not cute, he's hot. I need him all over me and I've been telling him so, but he's strangely elusive. I think he hits the gym above the grocery store on the corner, I should join.”

“Stalker.”

“I don’t stalk, I live in his house.”

“No wonder the poor guy doesn't go out of that room, I bet he picked up on all your slutty energy.” In the rectangle screen, Chimlin switched to tan the other side and you did the same, laying on your back.

“Ha ha. He'd have to be moronic not to,” you were holding the phone above, casting a partial shadow on your face.

“Your legend precedes you. He's scared you're gonna trap and fuck him.”

“What else am I supposed to do when you've abandoned me and flew to the other side of the world? You know I need a summer project.”

“And of course, it had to be a guy.”

You were so glad she stopped whining about Mas for a minute that you let that one slide. “Well, I am not a needlepoint kind-of-girl.”

“Right, hey maybe it isn’t the incest that’s creeping your brother out. Maybe he's gay.”

Someone snorted out loud at that – not you – and you sat up in alarm.

Two guys were standing by the edge of the pool.

“No, he's not,” said the one on the left, a smile in his voice. They were directly in your sun, so you had trouble making out their features. One silhouette was slightly slumped, the other tall and all limbs. You suddenly felt very exposed, dropping Chimlin to fasten your bikini top in a hurry. This show wasn't for strangers to enjoy.

“Who are you?” The second man asked, clearly lost.

“She's it,” the other echoed.

“Who are you? I live here.”

“We're your brother's social life,” the frisky one smiled largely, kind of in a dangerous way that you immediately recognized for your own. Friends, they were Youngjae's friends and they very clearly overheard your embarrassing banter with Chimlin.

Flushing – a rare occurrence – you brought a hand to shield your eyes from the sun while you corrected; “Step-br–”

A sharp voice cut in, “She's not my sister.”

Behind, Youngjae was standing awkwardly by the patio door, a stern look on his face. He didn't seem surprised his people were there. He didn't even glance in your direction before disappearing back as you blankly stared after him.

“Well, thank fuck,” the you-guy turned to wink, following him inside. “Good luck with your summer project! I’ll root for you!”

In a daze, you picked your phone back up. Chimlin was still there, waiting dilligently to be briefed on what just transpired. You puffed your cheeks, mentally preparing for what was to come.

______________________

Swear to God, Youngjae had not come out of that room for two days.

Two.

Fricking.

Days.

Maybe he had a fridge in there.

Maybe he only came to life after midnight like a vampire to avoid the whore squatting his dad’s house.

Whatever his annoying friends told him had certainly made a lasting impression. You just hoped he wasn't the type to go cry to parents whenever something happened. You had no intention of going back to your tiny dorm all alone and sad for the summer just because you hurt his feelings by finding him bangable. Or worse, at your father's.

What was he even thinking?

You had not done anything wrong. Pushed a bad joke a little bit too far perhaps, nothing to get all worked up about. No reason to get shunned out of your mother's life again.

Youngjae's reaction, or lack thereof, was way out of line.

It's not like you had actually done anything to him. He was such a prude. A prude that eye-fucked you all the time!

Church baby boys were the worst.

What an ass.

Three days?!

Three days of an overly empty house. The atmosphere had gotten so heavy, the air so tense you couldn't even think about anything else. There was nothing left to do. Just sit on the couch inside or by that dumb infinity pool, starring at the drawn curtains of your step-brother's bedroom. They weren't wobbling anymore.

Which was what you were actively doing this afternoon, ruminating your dark thoughts for hours. You didn't even notice you were getting dangerously warmer. When your timer went off, announcing it was sunscreen time again you nearly fell from your chair.

Doing the legs was the easiest part, your favourite to be honest. They were one hell of an asset of yours. You were massaging the thick lotion on your right calf when something at the corner of your eye caught your attention.

For a heartbeat or two, you thought you were hallucinating.

Youngjae had finally reappeared.

He was standing at the end of the pool, a knapsack thrown over his shoulders. His thumbs were hooked in the straps, hands dangling to his sides like dead weights. If he looked like a young boy at first glance, the heated look on his face was one of a man.

Frozen still, you gulped. True to form, he kept staring for a long moment before turning to the house and you thought he was about to go into hiding again – but oh no, fuck – he was actually pacing towards you.

“I’m back.” Youngjae blurted out awkwardly, mouth twisted.

Yours was opened in a mix of disbelief and shock. He was actually addressing you. “Back?” From where the corner store?

“Yes,” his eyes ghosted over your poor excuse of a bikini before anchoring themself back to safety in yours. Again, horny eyes. If you were warm earlier, now you were burning up. “I thought it'd be better if I stayed away at Bam's for a few days…”

Right? No one could actually stay between four walls so dilligently. It made sense. You were so dumb.

Apparently, your confusion was evident. “Didn’t you notice I was gone?” No, you had not. So your step-brother was so freaked out being around you that he actually moved out for a few days. Had you gotten that bad? Jesus. “Anyway, I’m back home with you now.”

Youngjae took a step closer, kindly getting in your light so you'd stop squinting at him. He looked even hotter in the bright light of day, sweat pearled between your breasts. He frowned and bit his lower lip waiting for a reaction. The things you'd do to that perfectly proper mouth.

Of course, what came out of yours at the moment was less than appropriate. He was right to be scared, you weren't safe at all.

“Wanna do me?”

Yes, you were that bad. Terrible indeed.

“Do I-I,” he gasped for air – oops, “w-what?”

“My back,” you clarified smiling like a prisoner that hadn't been fed a good meal in days, “sunscreen.” The poor man should've stayed far far away from you.

You weren’t crazy or desperate, but you couldn't resist. You had been patient and unusually upright so far. You deserved a treat. You were hungry and you knew your step-brother wanted you too, he wouldn't have felt the need to hide away otherwise. Youngjae had an interesting duality, shamelessly thirsting over you one minute and getting flustered and embarrassed the next. He must have been deeply unsettled by your open invitation because before you could flip over, he had claimed possession of the bottle.

Or maybe he just didn't need to be asked twice this time. He knew. He wanted to give in to temptation. Why would he even come back here otherwise?

Laying down, you reached to undo the bikini strings, pressing your loosely covered chest against the rough towel on the chair. You waited.

“You must really hate tan lines,” Youngjae said in your back, sounding tormented, “it seems you're never properly wearing clothes.” He sat down in slow motion like an obedient little boy as you grinned.

“Are you ever gonna put your hands on me?” You teased once more, it was like a string was tugging up your insides through that dirty mouth of yours. You wanted to keep pushing him, wanted to find out what it'd take to make him break. And just fuck you really. It was fighting the inevitable by now.

Every guy you met wanted to have you.

Usually, you didn't have to beg.

“I'm trying not to,” he admitted the obvious. “I promised I would never touch you,” Youngjae grumbled and you jerked in surprise when lotion spurted on your lower back. “Promised my father I’d treat you well.”

It made sense, a good boy would never disobey and do his dirty step-sister. If your legend preceded you, his golden son’s reputation certainly did too. Honestly, this promise made the taunting easier and even more tempting. It made for a funnier challenge and the spark in Youngjae's eyes when he looked at you hinted you could break him if you really tried.

You were about to defy his ethics again when words went back down your throat, letting way to a sharp sigh. He had suddenly fully committed to applying your sunscreen, fingers exploring your skin. You asked to be touched and he had risen to the occasion, firmly rubbing the lotion on your naked back.

Earlier you had every intention of teasing him further by enjoying this a little too much, but you weren’t sure it was entirely voluntary when the first moan escaped. If he wanted to keep it PG, he probably should’ve stopped right there, but it didn't seem to deter your step-brother. He kept going, massaging you along the way. His thumbs traced circles up your spine until one of his palms cupped your nape.

Perhaps this is what an erotic massage was supposed to feel like, heaven. Every stroke was totally appropriate, very perfect boy-ish, but still, your toes were curling. After a few minutes, Youngjae's breathing was heavy, he was enjoying this impromptu contact just as much.

You both had made yourselves obvious these past weeks; him with the eye-fucking, you with the open-truths. Clearly, the forbidden nature of your desires would make for an even more intense experience. You couldn't even imagine how it'd feel to take it further now.

“I've never had a step-brother before,” you mewled, mentally following the downwards path of his hands.

“I bet you love messing with me,” he replied, barely audible.

His pianist’s fingers were now haltingly sliding up your ribcage. He wasn't rubbing in anything anymore, just caressing all he could reach.

He was right, but you wanted more. That was the sexiest thing that happened to you in forever. Having a guy want you bad enough he had to hide away to resit, and now having his hands on you. You wanted him everywhere, all over. You didn’t care; step-brother promises or not.

Giving in to temptation, you turned around, resting on your elbow. Your untied bikini had not followed so you watched as his face fell in realization. Youngjae's mouth opened in awe, eyes glued to your bare perky breasts. At the moment, there was absolutely nothing going on in that male brain of his. He didn’t move; you helped.

As soon as you put one of his hands on your chest, he came back to life.

“Jesusfuck,” he breathed out, completely winded.

Wow.

Church baby boys were the best.

Entertained, you reached for the sunscreen, pouring lotion on yourself again. “You aren't done.”

“I…” Youngjae swallowed back his protests, cupping your boobs with both hands. He couldn't even look up anymore, enthralled by your nakedness.

No matter what their intentions were, it seemed good guys were still guys after all. If you had known he was this easy to overwhelm, you would’ve walked around topless sooner.

“The neighbours will see us...”

He didn't seem to mind that much, seeing as his thumbs were stroking your pierced nipples relentlessly. If those middle-aged housewives you only caught glimpses off looked over the edge now, they’d have a pretty impressive show.

“Let them,” sitting, you snaked a hand to his dramatic bulge. Your mouths got so close you felt his breath ghost over. Beaten by your expertise, his shorts’ button came undone first, his fly was even more compliant.

The moment of truth.

Youngjae's whole body shook when you took his cock in your palm. There was no hesitation, no second-guessing. Fuck, he was so hard and flushed for you. He pinched your erected nipples in response and you felt a familiar vivid jolt of pleasure and pain down to your toes. Not a virgin, after all, no doubt he would handle you just fine.

You pressed your mouth to his neck and sucked, right where his Adam's apple bobbed.

That's it, all for you. You were so going to eat up that good boy.

“Mmmm, I’ll tell daddy you’re treating me so fucking well...”

Of all the filthy things you had said so far, this was the one that got the strongest reaction. The wrong one. Youngjae jerked up to his feet, tugging at his shorts in panic. He swore a dozen of times, out of his mind as you stood there, frozen still.

“Sorry,” he offered at last, pitiful before running for his life to the house.

Fuck.

No.

Surely you were feverish.

Having a heatstroke.

You had imagined the whole thing.

You had not just being left out cold by a man.

This type of shit never happened to girls like you.

It took a few minutes to gather back your thoughts and when you did, you decided this wasn't even close to completion.

Without wasting a second more you stormed inside the house, almost flying upstairs to that mythical off-limits bedroom of his. You didn't bother banging, he was in such a hurry he forgot to lock behind, so the door flew open.

Like a scene straight up from a bad porno, Youngjae spun on his computer chair, a hand still wrapped around his fully erected dick. You couldn't believe your eyes.

“Are you jerking off?” He was already pulling up his shorts again to cover himself, caught red-handed, blushing as though you hadn't been doing it yourself a moment ago.

“I’m sorry, I don't think you–”

“Please don't stop on my behalf,” you waltzed in, confident, and sat on his well-made good boy's bed.

“W-What?” Youngjae blinked, even more, rattled by the sight.

He didn't leave because he didn't want you, he clearly did. He probably only left because of his father and that dumb promise he mentioned.

“Is this how you've been dealing all along?” You laid back on the comforter, smirking and remembering all those afternoons by the pool you’d thought you’d seen his curtains fall. He certainly enjoyed spying so it gave you an idea. He could try to resist you all he wanted, you'd still made him cave. “You don't want to touch me, right?” Your step-brother nodded, spellbound. “Because you're the perfect son.”

He swallowed hard, “But you keep… Saying those things, sunbathing… And to my friends...”

“Yes, you’re right... So let's start over.” You sighed in fake contrition, “I'm sorry, I've made this so hard for you. I’ll be good too from now on.”

Youngjae scoffed in disbelief, “You are sitting topless on my bed.”

“Oh,” looking down at yourself, you cupped your breasts. “I thought you liked the looking.” His cock was standing up, glorious testimony to this mess. “Don't worry, I get it. I promise I won’t let you touch me...” Throwing your head back without breaking eye contact, you moaned and lightly twisted one of your pierced nipples. “But I’ll make you watch...” Out of his mind, Youngjae did just that as you caressed your own chest for him. Somehow his eyes on you now burned even better than his hands earlier.

You were so turned on, so worked up by all the days of teasing and loneliness. Your hips started swaying on his bed, craving some fiction and release.

“You're crazy,” his voice was laboured but he had yet to escape again. This time you wouldn't have followed.

“I-I'm so wet, Youngjae...” Giving in, your right hand fell to your sex, rubbing your last piece of clothing. He was captivated.

“Fuck it,” he immediately breathed out in surrender, hand wrapping around his dick. That was it, you finally had him. He was all in, playing along with your new favourite family game.

No touching, just innovative teamwork.

You had to establish ground rules, but pushing them was what fun was all about.

“I want you so bad...” You mewled, slipping your middle finger inside your bikini bottom.

Stroking himself, Youngjae groaned, “So you’ve been saying baby, but now you have to show me.”

Oh shit. You were going to come so fast if the golden son had other surprises like that. In a hurry, you wormed out of your panties before he could change his mind once more. In front of his fully clothed self, you laid back, touching your damp slit while he observed intently. The whole experience was surreal, your mind was buzzing, overwhelmed by the wrongness of it all.

It felt so amazing though.

Touching yourself for your step-brother was the sexiest thing you’d ever experienced, and you were very accomplished. You would’ve done anything he'd asked of you, and Youngjae knew that but he abided by his dumb rules. Standing up he came closer, boxer messily shoved down from his earlier haste, one hand was in his hair, the other working hard. You kept rubbing your clit repeatedly letting him see, hastening the pace until you were numb all over, panting.

“Youngj-jae, I-I–”

Moaning, you broke faster than you had ever with someone, then again no one knew how to make you reach your own high better than yourself. Paroxysm made your thighs jerked as the pleasure waved through you, annihilating all sense of your surroundings.

When you came back, your step-brother was giving up too, bursting in thick spurts of hot cum all over your body and chest. His eyes were wide opened in black elation, intense, not missing a second of the show as he came on you. His whitish-gray seed painted your bareness in ribbons until he was completely emptied.

In silence, Youngjae dropped next to you on the bed, hands covering his face as you both caught your breaths. His now softening dick was still protruding out of his shorts and underwear for the world to see. It probably made for quite a view; your naked body covered in semen right by your respectable step-brother’s way more humble cock.

If your parents came home early, they would both have a stroke.

Youngjae sort of kept his word though... For today at least.

Because now that you had him all over, you knew you were going to crave him under you.

And no man had ever resisted your charms before.

Step-brother or not.

[The Pleasure Chest: A Cringe Fest]

GOT7 | M.list

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mcustorm · 4 years ago

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45 M/M Gay Movies, Ranked

The other day I bit the bullet and decided to watch Brokeback Mountain for the first time. All I knew about that movie was that it was basically the CMBYN of yesteryear and somebody got killed with a tire iron. Anyways, so I finish the movie and realize that I’ve seen a *lot* of gay movies, especially in the last couple of years. So here are my rankings according to nothing but my personal preference. I won’t write about all of them, but you can ask about something if I leave it out.

I wish I could give you a rubric for this. The reality is, there are some radically different movies on this list with different tones and intentions. There’s buddy comedies, tearjerkers, small indie features, big theater releases. So trying to rank them all is TUFF.

The Way He Looks - Such a beautiful coming-of-age movie. Maybe the 2nd one I saw on this list? Perfect length, perfect characterization, simple yet compelling, clever. And nothing feels better than reaching a happy ending (for once, because some of these movies’ endings-- SHEESH) that’s been earned. It just hasn’t been topped.

2. God’s Own Country

3. Pride

4. Kanarie - Yea, we don’t talk about this movie enough. It’s one of the most recent that I’ve seen. Beautiful. The way that it references apartheid and the war to reflect the protagonist’s feelings? Flawless.

5. Jongens - The first movie that I saw on this list, gets many a bonus point for that.

6. Moonlight - Yes, I am black. Yes, I understand this movie may be too low. Moonlight kind of scares me. In general, there’s not nearly enough discourse surrounding this one for me. But while it’s not exactly a popcorn-muncher, to me it’s the most personal movie on the list. When I look at Chiron and all that he’s been through, I can’t help but draw parallels to my own story up to this point. It holds a mirror up to me in a way that no other movie on this list does. That makes me uncomfortable.

But it is so poetic. Have you guys seen the script for this? The directing, the SOUNDTRACK, the acting. Phenomenal.

7. Weekend

8. Call Me By Your Name - Yes, I am aware of people’s beef with this one. Yes, I understand a lot of people may feel this one is overrated. While I do think this one gets worse on rewatch, the truth is, it’s not really *that* overrated because hot take: most (meaning over half) of the movies on this list range somewhere from “just okay” to “painstakingly bad”.

It’s the score, the cinematography, the subtext in most all of the dialogue, the acting, the way that you can smell the apricots through the fucking screen. People who say this movie is a vacation ad are fucking CORRECT. One of my biggest gripes however is that it’s too fucking long. And uh, that age difference...

And Armie Hammer’s a weirdo...

9. Dating Amber* - Dating Amber has one of those “Duh” premises that sounds like it could’ve been done like 30 times before yet I can’t think of any other examples of it. So what you’d think would be a wacky premise actually turns out to be a frankly poignant movie with an emotional story arc for the main two characters.

10. Hello Stranger: The Movie* - This movie, which is the first sequel (sorta) on the list, frankly had no business being as good as it was. Even though the web series is required viewing, I felt the movie fixed like all of the series’ issues: pacing, lack of compelling drama, the awkward quarantine format. The drama and stakes are there without us having to visit Angst City. And the theme and the ending reprise is HEAT.

11. Uncle Frank* - Uncle Frank is like The Help of gay movies. Like The Help, it’s *overall* a short, sweet and fluffy movie set decades ago. Like The Help, you’ll still come out of it feeling pretty good even though it has some dark moments. Also like The Help, you’ll wonder after the fact if the central white girl absolutely needed to be so...well, central for this story to be told. Bonus points for Paul Bettany and Character Actress Margo Martindale.

12. Brokeback Mountain - Tragic.

13. Moffie - Set during the South African border war, same as Kanarie. You even hear the word “moffie” throughout Kanarie. Anyways, this is a war movie for the gays, and a very intense watch. I liked that it was a much more realistic view of what a soldier endured during that period, and of course on the flip side I thought it was more thorough in its depiction of the rampant racism. I gotta find a good book on this era.

14. A Moment In the Reeds

15. Get Real - Maybe the most out of place movie on the list. I need to rewatch it. I do recall absolutely loving the score, however. Like, I fucks with this:

youtube

16. Freier Fall - When I finished Brokeback I was like, “Wait, wasn’t that just Free Fall with extra steps?” And yea, it kinda is. But even discount Brokeback is still pretty good.

17. Beautiful Thing - There are few things to like about this one, the relationship between the two guys, the mother’s love for her son even though it’s not all rainbows, that nice little final scene. I did not care for the dark-skinned woman being portrayed as, you know, the drug abusing, school dropout, gossipy, butt of jokes neighbor. But that guy really looks like Tom Holland tho.

18. Love, Simon - It’s at this point that I move from “Yea, that movie is good, you should watch it!” to “Look, you may like it, you may not.”

19. The 10 Year Plan - This movie is so fucking cheesy that there was cheddar coming though my speakers. But when I think of “Hallmark/Lifetime, but for the gays” this is the crown jewel. There’s some other movies on this list that could’ve taken some notes.

20. The Christmas Setup* - The trend of fluffy-white-gay-cable-network-movie continues and in good form. It’s not deep. It’s not really thought provoking. It’s cute. Fran Drescher is there. You should watch it.

21. Giant Little Ones

22. Hidden Kisses

23. Alex Strangelove - In a unique twist, the emotional core of this one is arguably between Alex and his girlfriend. All that ends up happening, however, is we the viewer keep wanting more Alex/Elliott scenes; those are the most electric in the whole movie. The end result is a hot yet endearing mess.

24. Fair Haven

25. The Thing About Harry - Freeform’s attempt at making a cheesy rom-com for the gays. It’s...okay. I personally feel like the main character’s friend is highkey trifling but it’s whatever.

26. Your Name Engraved Herein* - So I guess I’ve decided I officially hate angst. I mean, I get how it’s often necessary to tell an effective story, but I’m just not here for 2 hour indie angst fests that get passed off as “high art” anymore. I cannot do it. Somehow this is Brokeback’s fault...there just has to be a better way to tell gay stories in the 2020′s. Anyways, the last song was fuego.

27. The Perfect Wedding - Easily the most bizarre movie on this list. It’s so bad, I liked it a lot.

28. Naz and Maalik - The first half of the movie with the two leads just riffing is some pretty great stuff. The back half starts throwing plot developments that are just less than interesting.

29. My Best Friend

30. The Curiosity of Chance

31. Being 17 - Boring. Angsty.

32. And Then We Danced

33. Center of My World - Has some of the most trifling characters EVER. I was so angry. This movie for me has *0* rewatchability.

34. Just Friends

35. 4th Man Out - This movie was basically “a bro/Hangover-style movie, but for the gays.” I absolutely love the intention, but the execution was a little shoddy. One day we’re gonna get a flawless movie that nails what this movie was going for. I hope we remember this movie whenever that day comes.

36. Latter Days - So fucking preachy.

37. GBF - Another bizarre one, but at least this movie gets how wacky it is.

38. Beach Rats

39. Shelter - I’ve noticed a lot of people like this one. To that I say...yikes. Remember that scene from Family Guy where Peter says he doesn’t care for The Godfather? I did not care for Shelter. It insists upon itself (not really, but still).

40. Handsome Devil

41. Esteros - It’s at this point of the list that we shift from “Movies that are the definition of ‘ight’ “ to “These movies are bad. Bad. BAAAAAD.”

42. Monster Pies

43. Were the World Mine - I couldn’t even finish it. Wanna watch a better musical? Go watch Kanarie. Wanna watch a better Shakespeare adaptation? The Lion King is the movie for you, or even fucking She’s the Man.

44. North Sea Texas - So boring. I actually think this one may need a rewatch, because I swear it shouldn’t have been as terrible as it was.

45. Salvation Army - I have no idea what this movie was going for. I understand that it is autobiographical, however...it simultaneously barely has any plot or character developments. This one has shades of Beach Rats, but it’s significantly worse, and I didn’t even like Beach Rats that much.

So that’s it, thanks if you made it down this far. I guess I’ll update the list as I inevitably watch more of these. I would love movie recommendations!

#lgbtcinema #the way he looks #cmbyn #love simon #thanks for reading #thanks profusely to the gif-makers #i couldn't finish maurice...i'm so sorry #half of these are breaking glass or wolfe #argue with yo mama

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rawrampmag · 6 years ago

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SWITCHFOOT — @switchfoot Nothing Speaks Louder : #LoveIsOurNativeTongue #NewAlbum #NativeTongue Out Now @Spinefarm #switchfam

The American post-grunge, Christian, alternative rock outfit SWITCHFOOT founded in 1996 (as Chin Up) by Jon Foreman and his brother Tim, along with Chad Butler on drums, have been offering undisputed gems since their 1997 debut “The Legend of Chin”

And beyond their award-winning career achievements, SWITCHFOOThave been active in a variety of philanthropic efforts, raising millions of aid for kids…

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iiarchive · 7 years ago

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Pittsburgh July 22nd

See anything wrong/missing? Please let us know!

Please click ‘read more’ to view the details from the show! It WILL contain spoilers from the show!

‘Props’/Opening of the Show

Starts with what they are not going to do

Mentions ‘erotic role play’

Dan as a criminal, Phil as a policeman, voiceover of implied smut

Dan and Phil ‘strip’

Truth Bombs

Dan: What job would they have if youtube didn’t exist?

A: sweaty lawyer, angsty hot topic employee (winner), full time real life internet hobo

Phil: What is hidden in their browsing history?

A: “help why am I so tall”, succulent fan fiction (winner), asmr cereal videos

D&P: What do they keep secret from each other?

A: what they keep in their bedside table, what they do in the shower, that they’re actually the same person (winner)

Ball & Mystery Box

Phil threw a ball into the audience to guess what was ‘inside’ the mystery box

steamy pictures of kanye, deepest darkest secrets, his secret stash of malteasers

Dan VS Phil

Psychic Connections - iconic vines (Dan: two bros chilling in a hot tub. Phil: I smell like beef)

Phantastic Phacts

This part has been removed from the show.

Dan, Phil, or a Rat?

Picture: Rat, (Phil got it wrong, he guessed it was Dan)

Picture: Rat, (Dan got it wrong, he guessed it was Phil)

D&P Dilemma

For Phil: danandphilgames gets 100 million subscribers but Phil has to start every AmazingPhil video with an F-Bomb, Phil wouldn’t do it, Dan shocked him.

For Dan: Phil’s channel will be deleted and to save it Dan has to revert back to his old branding (Phil said he had to go back to square hair, llamas, the whole package) Dan would do it.

Friendship Test loser - Phil ( The score is 25 - 23, Dan is in the lead)

Wheel of Doom

Dan was sacrificed.

Good VS Evil

Dan - Pineapple on pizza, cannibalism, stepping on a lego

Phil - Having cake on the beach, playing peek-a-boo with a baby, a million puppies

Getting Deep

Q: What do you guys think of the American accent?

A: Dan and Phil both did accents and tried to mimic an American accent. Dan said there were loads of American accents. They also made fun of Phil’s northern accent.

Q: Asking for driving trips/learning how to drive?

A: Phil said that he had 60 lessons for driving and 4 tests, which he passed on the fourth. Dan said that since Phil got it so can anyone, even though Phil shouldn’t drive.

Q: My brother is my best friend and he’s getting married. I’m worried he won’t talk to me anymore.

A: Dan was worried they were saying they were marrying their brother. They said not to worry and that since they’re best friends their relationship will probably stay strong. They also mentioned the two people that got engaged earlier that day and congratulated them.

Golden II Awards

They wore glitter suits

Give fandom awards to the audience

Phil’s Diss Track

Lyrics to Phil’s Diss Track (fan cited/not official)

Dan on Piano

Dan plays a song on the piano

Has to do with him and Phil’s origin story

Phil interrupts by returning to his diss track momentarily

Lyrics to this part of the show (fan cited/not official)

Interactive Introverts Duet

Dan and Phil sing a duet with Dan playing the piano

About how they’re ‘Interactive Introverts’

Lyrics to this part of the show (fan cited/not official)

*Bonus*

The audience was named Susan

Mentioned ketchup and they made jokes about being in the Heinz Theatre

Dan said excuse me bitch, when someone said something about getting a photo with a big pickle

Said the stage could of been a pickle juice wrestling ring

Dan was shaming Phil for using so many towels and said “Phil! Where are all the towels!” and Phil replied “On me, hehe”

Someone had a sign that said “LADYDOOR WAS AN INSIDE JOB” and Dan grabbed it and held it on stage

Dan said he would go back to his old branding because “Thats how much you mean to me Phil” everyone cheered and then he yelled “It’s not cute!”

Dan said “and that’s the tea!”

Dan and Phil pointed out a couple that got engaged and congratulated them again

LOTS of pickle jokes

“Nibble on a pickle”

“This is the weirdest thing to happen on stage, in Pittsburgh, or well actually we don’t know what’s going on at Pickle Fest”

Phil’s cactus Loki is dead and Dan made a joke about it being in the same state as Loki in infinity war and everyone booed

Dan and Phil mentioned the in my feelings challenge, and Dan did the dance and showed Phil how to do it and he did it as well

Phil missed his mark to start singing his diss track twice and everyone was cheering for him

*Current pre-show/intermission playlist*

Thank you to Lili and Lanae for your submissions!

#ii #interactive introverts #usa ii #usa interactive introverts #pittsburgh ii #pittsburgh interactive introverts #dan and phil tour #dan and phil usa #dan and phil pittsburgh #iispoilers

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guapo-t-w · 7 years ago

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Local Tidewater VA Beer Festivals

Upcoming Local Beer Fests:

Fri, Oct 6 - October First Friday, Hosted by Downtown Norfolk, 5 - 8:30 pm, 300 Block of Granby Street, Downtown Norfolk. Downtown Norfolk's favorite Friday night street party is back for its fifth season! Each First Fridays event runs from 5-8:30 pm and features music (this week Fleet Forces Rock Band and DJ CanRock), food and merchandise vendors and a beer and wine garden all in an authentic downtown setting. Get ready to grab some friends & have some fun!

Sat, Oct 7 - The Noblemen present Oktoberfest 2017, 1 - 5:00 pm, Hunt Club Farm, 2388 London Bridge Rd., Virginia Beach. The BIGGEST and BEST Oktoberfest Celebration in Hampton Roads! All you care to drink eat, Craft Beers, Wine and Food. There will be fun for the whole family all day long including: Authentic German food; Large variety of micro brews; Live music featuring "Cover This" 3-5 pm; Kids area including: inflatables, bounces, petting zoo and hayrides. Tickets are all inclusive: (includes all you can eat / drink, entertainment and parking). Adult Tickets - $50 in advance and $60 at the gate. Children's Tickets - $15 in advance and $20 at the gate. Family Ticket Package - (includes 2 adult and 2 children's tickets) - $110. VIP Package - (includes 10 tickets, a private / enclosed area for you and your guests, 10 x beer steins filled with goodies, waitress service from the Bierfraus, access to the VIP bar - $1000. Tickets on sale now at: www.thenoblemen.org

Sat, Oct 7 - Crawlin' Crab 5K and Craft Brew Fest, 8:30 am - 11:00 pm, Hampton Roads Convention Center, 1610 Coliseum Dr., Hampton. Celebrate your 5K and Half Marathon finish this year at a Craft Brew Fest / Post Race Party on Saturday, October 7th and Sunday, October 8th immediately following your race outside the Hampton Roads Convention Center. Enjoy live music, delicious Kickin' Corn and Crab Chowder from Baker's Crust and ice cold brews. More details coming soon! http://crawlincrabhalf.com/

Sat, Oct 7 - Chelsea West Fest 2017, 12 - 6:00 pm, On the street 600 Claremont Ave, Norfolk. Meet us in Chelsea, Norfolk's newest beer, food, retail and fun district for Chelsea West Fest October 7, 2017. Chelsea West Fest, hosted by and benefiting Hope House Foundation, will be a full-day celebrating what makes this region great: local crafters, talented local musicians, local beers and brews, and the unique eateries just steps away from the festival. Gates open at noon!

Thu, Oct 12 - 2017 Kiwanis Harbor Party & Seafood Fest, Hosted by Kiwanis Club of Norfolk, 4 - 7:00 pm, Town Point Park, 201 Waterside Dr., Norfolk. The 25th annual Harbor Party, presented by Kiwanis Club of Norfolk, is three fun-filled hours at a beautiful venue on Norfolk's Waterfront filled with seafood, craft beer and wine, live music, friends, and networking. The money raised will be donated to local children's charities, from CHKD to the Edmarc Hospice for Children. Tickets are $35 in advance. Admission includes all-you-can-eat seafood, barbecue and beer and wine. Click here to purchase tickets: https://harborparty.org/get-tickets/

Sat, Oct 14 - 2017 YSC Fall Beer and Wine Bash, Camp Pendleton, 12 - 5:00 pm, Virginia Beach. Join us for the 2017 YSC Fall Beer and Wine Bash! We will be serving beer, wine, barbeque, chicken, chili, gumbo and our famous crawfish boil. All you can eat and drink. Live entertainment by Little Country and Family Tree. Cornhole players, get there early and sign up for the cornhole tournament. First Prize wins 2 tickets to our Spring event. All for only $55.00*! All proceeds go to fund children's charities in Hampton Roads. You must be 21 to enter the party and there will be a 100% ID check to enter Camp Pendleton. *The $5.00 per ticket convenience fee will be waived for online purchases made before September 15th.

Sat, Oct 14 - Chic's Beach Fall Festival - Blues & BBQ, Hk on the Bay, 12 - 8:00 pm, 4600 Lookout Rd., Virginia Beach. Tickets will be $25 each and will include entry into the festival, a really sweet commemorative 16oz Chic's Beach Festival cup and FOOD! Upon entry you will be given your commemorative Festival Cup and ONE (1) food ticket per person, to be redeemed at any point during the festival. (should you lose your food ticket or would like to purchase another plate, there will be a $10 fee for another food ticket). Hk on the Bay is teaming up with Mike Clifford from CXB BBQ AND EATS to provide you with some of the best BBQ & fixins on the east coast! (there will be veggie options). We have partnered with Speedy's Hot Sauce - Jimmy Miller to bring you THE BEST damn hot sauce in VA to Chic's Beach Festival. It is our absolute pleasure to announce that our great friends from Young Veterans Brewing Company will be out in full force pouring their beers! **stay tuned for the draft line up. In addition to Young Vets beer, we will be serving crafted cocktails from Woodford Reserve, Sailor Jerry & Tito's Handmade Vodka. Also attending Chic's Beach Fall Festival is our bros at the oceanfront, Three Ships Coffee & North End Bag Co. & The Stockpot.

Sat, Oct 14 - 3rd Annual Cogans Pumpkin Beer Fest, Cogans North, 1:00 pm, 4311 Colley Ave., Norfolk. Come join us for our Third Annual Pumpkin Beer Fest. We'll have: 10+ Breweries; 20+ Pumpkin Beers; 12+ Seasonal Beers! Tasting Tickets: $15 Advance/ $20 @ Door. Live Music by 'Snicklefritz Scheme '. Family Friendly and $8.99 All Day Pizza Buffet. Proceeds Benefit the Norfolk Police & Fire Museum.

Sat, Oct 14 - Craft Beer Bash at War Memorial Stadium, 1 - 5:00 pm, 1889 W Pembroke Ave., Hampton. Our Second Annual Craft Beer Bash presented by Jungle Gym Strength and Conditioning LLC. Join us on Saturday, October 14th for an afternoon of great beers at the ballpark. This is a charity festival with proceeds from every ticket purchased going to the Boys and Girls Clubs of the Virginia Peninsula. Your ticket includes unlimited craft beer tastings, a souvenir pint glass, and every ticket sold benefits the Boys & Girls Club of the Virginia Peninsula. There will also be food trucks, music, yard games, and many vendors. https://warmemorialcraftbeerbash.eventbrite.com/

Sun, Oct 15 - Treasure Chest Beer + Food Fest - Virginia Beach, Green Flash Brewing Co. Virginia Beach, 12 - 5:00 pm, 1209 Craft Lane, Virginia Beach. The annual Treasure Chest Beer + Food Fest is back for a 4th year in Virginia Beach with all festival proceeds benefiting Susan G. Komen Tidewater! Enjoy exclusive Green Flash, Cellar 3, and Alpine beers (including one-off keg and cask creations), served alongside plates from our wonderful Virginia restaurant partners. In addition to the delicious beer and food, we've got live music, games, Behind-the-Craft demonstrations and more! The tropical Hawaiian Luau theme is back by popular demand so grab your best Tiki attire! Hawaiian shirts, grass skirts, and retro-inspired island kitsch apparel is encouraged. All tickets include unlimited beer tasting, 10 food tastings commemorative glass, and festival experience: Over 20 options of rare beer, cask, and barrel-aged creations from Green Flash, Cellar 3, and Alpine Beer Co. with unlimited tasting; Food pairings prepared by some of our favorite local restaurants; Behind the Craft: culinary demos and bonus tastings taking place throughout the event; Photo booth; Vendor village

Thu-Fri, Oct 19-20 - The NEON Festival 2017, Neon District, Norfolk. Save the date! The *third* NEON Festival is coming back to NFK Thursday, October 19 and Friday, October 19, 2017! This free festival welcomes everyone to experience the NEON District through art exhibitions, local and national performances and mural tours. Highlights of the 2017 celebration include: Third Thursday at the Chrysler Museum and Glass Studio and d'Art Center, 5-10 pm; The Plot Beer Garden and entertainment Friday evening, 6-10 pm; Norfolk Public Art Commission ribbon cutting Friday at 5:30 pm. Visit this page for updates on all the performances, entertainment, food & drinks and public art that will ignite the district. It's going to electric! www.facebook.com/events/107208306622133/

Fri, Oct 20 - Fourth Annual Tidewater Builders Association (TBA) Shucked in the Park, 24th Street Park, 3 - 6:00 pm, the Ocean Front, Virginia Beach. Join your friends and colleagues for great food, cold beverages and live music at TBA's fourth annual Shucked in the Park event, at Virginia Beach's 24th Street Park. Proceeds will benefit TBA's Building Trades Academy. Movement Mortgage is the event's Presenting Sponsor. Tickets go on sale soon! www.facebook.com/events/1350836898364124/

Sat/Sun, Oct 21/22 - Virginia Beach Craft Beer Festival, 31st Street Park, 1 - 6:00 pm, Atlantic Ave., Virginia Beach Oceanfront. Over 50 craft beers from over 25 breweries will be available for sampling at the Virginia Beach Craft Beer Festival. Tickets include unlimited sampling, a commemorative cup, and live entertainment. A limited number of tickets will be available each day. It is not recommended that children attend this event. It is designed to be a 21+ festival. https://www.beachstreetusa.com/festivals/virginia-beach-craft-beer-festival

Sat, Oct 21 - Partake 'N Portsmouth, Hosted by Portsmouth Partnership, 5 - 9:00 pm, 3321 Tyre Neck Rd., Chesapeake. Bring your family and friends to sample some great new restaurants and breweries. Advance tickets $40 available until October 13th. $50 at the door. Ticket proceeds support our mission promoting economic development, education, and leadership in the City of Portsmouth. https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=CVNGB92RU7AVN

Sun, Oct 22 - 2017 GIVE A SHUCK, Hosted by Little Neck Circle of the King's Daughters, 4 - 8:00 pm, Leaping Lizard Cafe-Shore Drive, 4408 Shore Dr., Virginia Beach. 2017's event includes live music by Bennett Wales, a full dinner and oysters provided by Leaping Lizard, wine, beer truck and much, much more! Proceeds will benefit LNCKD's 2017 Absolutely Giving, providing personally shopped-for, wrapped, and delivered holiday gifts to many local children who may otherwise go without, CHKD, the CHKD Mobile ICU and other deserving organizations throughout Hampton Roads area! Online ticket sales are now open!! Purchase your 2017 Give a Shuck tickets in advance through the LNCKD online store: http://store.lnckd.org/

Fri, Oct 27 - Masquerade in Ghent, 6 - 10:00 pm, Colley Ave., Norfolk. Ghent's largest Halloween street party and costume contest - Masquerade in Ghent will take place in the heart of Ghent on Colley Avenue between Shirley Avenue and Brandon Avenue. Show off your Halloween costume at the annual Costume Contest Parade. The parade starts at 6:30 pm and judges will award cash prizes for "Best In Show," "Best Family or Group," and "Best Adult." Prize packets will be awarded to "Best Pet Costume," "Best Young Adult" (male & female ages 13-18 years old), "Best Child" (male & female ages 5-12), "Best Infant." Register for free online at: ghentnorfolk.org by Wednesday, October 25. There will be a $25 registration fee for entries submitted after October 25. ViewItDoIt will be streaming the parade live! Your out-of-town friends and family can see all of the fun. And, you will be able to provide live testimonials! After the parade, get ready for a monster mash with live music by MBMA Plus, there will be activities for kids, refreshments and adult beverages. Masquerade in Ghent is free and open to the public. Ample parking can be found along the streets and parking lots. Don't miss the frightfully, fun-tastic time at this year's Masquerade in Ghent!

Sat, Oct 28 - Party in the Park, Hosted by The Princess Anne Garden Club, 1 - 4:00 pm, First Landing State Park, 2500 Shore Drive, Virginia Beach. Mark your calendars for Saturday, October 28th for this fun event, Party in the Park! Enjoy live music while sipping on wine or beer. Explore the silent auction offering fabulous gift baskets, art, vacation homes, etc. Dine on delicious BBQ and chicken chili! Tickets $40 pre-sale and $45 Day of Event.

Sun, Nov 5 - House of Blues, Brews, and Stews, presented by Atlantic Shores, Virginia MOCA, 1 - 5:00 pm, 2200 Parks Avenue, Virginia Beach. Enjoy casual camaraderie at the Blues, Brews, and Stews, while listening to headlining act 'Love Canon' with opening act 'More Perfect Jones'! All the stews and blues you can handle | cash bar with craft brews | souvenir beer cup and wine glass | access to the Boardwalk Art Show silent auction | admission to MOCA's current exhibitions, including "Wayne White: Monitorium". **VIP EXCLUSIVE: Stews and blues with the VIP experience | Lounge in the tent next to the stage | 3 drink tickets | private bar gourmet grub by the Chefs at Atlantic Shores. Purchase Tickets: Early bird - $30 | $45 VIP; After Oct 16 - $40 |$55 VIP; At the door - $50 | $65 VIP. Children are welcome to attend, too! Ages 6 and under FREE, ages 7-12 are $15.

Sun, Nov 5 - 8th Annual Virginia Roast & Toast, Hosted by Hermitage Museum and Gardens, 3 - 6:00 pm, 7637 N Shore Rd., Norfolk. It’s a staple of the season! The Hermitage Young Associates Board presents the 8th Annual Virginia Roast & Toast. All-inclusive tickets include mouth-watering Virginia oysters and barbeque, our favorite local craft beers, wine, live music on the gorgeous shoreline, and the chance to bid on exclusive auction items from local businesses. All ticket buyers will receive free museum admission and the opportunity to see our outdoor Stickwork installation by artist Patrick Dougherty. $55.00 Hermitage Members; $65.00 Non-Members. All proceeds support the Hermitage’s year round schedule of one of a kind programs and exhibitions! Online tickets go on sale Monday, September 11th - this event has sold out 7 years in a row!

Sat, Nov 11 - Virginia Living Museum Oyster Roast Fundraiser, 3 - 6:00 pm, 524 J Clyde Morris Blvd., Newport News. Enjoy all-you-can-eat fresh local Rappahannock Oysters, fried seafood, chowder, dessert buffet, craft beers, wine, full bar, DJ/live music, commemorative glass, raffles & more at the Virginia Living Museum’s sixth annual Oyster Roast! Voted Best of the 757 Gold for Outdoor Festivals four years in a row by Coastal Virginia Magazine, this event is always a sell-out. Food will be provided by Mathews Lions Club and Waypoint Seafood & Grill. Desserts by Stratford University Culinary Students. New this year, the Virginia Living Museum has partnered with St. George Brewing Company to brew an exclusive Oyster Stout! Enjoy live music by Louis Vangieri and Phil Poteat. All proceeds benefit the Museum’s award winning educational programs and animal care needs. Tickets go on sale September 1. Tickets: $50, $60 week of event, Age 21 and up. Tickets include commemorative glass and two beverage tickets for beer or wine! https://thevlm.org/events/museum-events/oyster-roast/

Sat, Nov 18 - Oyster & South Festival, Hosted by Greenbrier Farms, 1 - 5:00 pm, 225 Sign Pine Rd., Chesapeake. Just as it is every year, Oyster & South will be held on the Saturday before Thanksgiving! We have found this date perfectly sets a "thankful" tone, that brings family, friends, and the community together to celebrate our heritage & lifestyle, and gladly "giving-back" to those who really need our support! This event is an amazing opportunity for you to create awareness, introduce or just re-affirm your business' community connection. If you are looking to connect with "salt of the earth" people, then this is your festival. It is only through the support and generosity of our community that we are able to produce Oyster & Southfestival each year and give back so much to great charities! See you on the farm!

Drink Happy - Be Safe

Follow the blogs at:

www.brew-n-rock-tidewater.blogspot.com

www.guapo-t-w.tumblr.com

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jc · 6 years ago

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1.–21. April: Aprilscherz, Autobahn, Blog4Business, FuckUp Nights Koblenz, Renovierung, Ausflug

Drei Wochen nichts geschrieben. Das alleine ist wohl Beweis genug, wie wenig Zeit ich hatte. Ehrlich gesagt: Ich habe keine Ahnung, wo diese drei Wochen geblieben sind.

April, April: Den Monat haben wir standesgemäß begonnen, indem wir uns das Scherzchen erlaubten, das BarCamp Bonn wäre abgesagt. Hat hervorragend funktioniert, eine Menge Leute sind darauf reingefallen und haben sinnvollerweise auch nicht mitbekommen, als wir es einen Tag später auflösten. Ich hoffe, es kommen trotzdem alle. 🤞

1500 km: Ich habe eine gute Ausrede für den missglückten hervorragenden Aprilscherz. Ich war an den ersten beiden Apriltagen nämlich unterwegs. Ich fuhr für einen Umzug den Transporter. In zwei Tagen fuhr ich die Strecke Bonn–Hamburg–Nürnberg–Bonn, rund 1500 Kilometer. Zum ersten Mal in meinen Leben fuhr ich die A7 runter und war überrascht, wie groß das Nichts zwischen Hannover und Würzburg ist, das nur kurz durch Kassel unterbrochen wird.

Gar nicht in Niedersachsen, sondern in Bonn: Das Messdorfer Feld

Blog4Business: Letztes Jahr hat es terminlich nicht gepasst, für dieses Jahr hatte mich Daniela rechtzeitig auf den Termin hingewiesen (und für das kommende habe ich jetzt schon ein Ticket 😊). Die Konferenz mit Barcamp-Elementen war sehr toll, weil die Vorträge interessant und unter den Teilnehmenden viele waren, die ich sonst höchstens auf der Republica in Berlin sehe.

Eine Sache musste ich festhalten. Die erste Keynote kam von Jens Albers, Social-Media-Verantwortlicher beim Erzbistum Essen, die einen ziemlich guten Job machen. Er wollte uns mehrere Videos zeigen, die er in seine Powerpoint-Präsentation eingebaut hatte, aber manche davon spielten nicht richtig ab. Wir schreiben das Jahr 2019 und ich würde mich immer noch nicht trauen, ohne Backup Videos in Präsentationen zu verwenden.

2019 und es ist immer noch ein Problem, Videos in PowerPoint so einzubinden, dass sie problemlos bei der Präsentation laufen. #Blog4Business

— Johannes Mirus ✨ (@Johannes) April 5, 2019

Alles in allem hat Daniela eine tolle Veranstaltung auf die Beine gestellt. Ich ziehe ehrfürchtig meinen Hut vor ihr.

FuckUp Nights Koblenz: Ähnlich wie bei der vorgenannten Veranstaltung habe ich auch die erste FuckUp Night in Koblenz nicht wahrnehmen können, weshalb wir wenigstens beim zweiten Mal dabei sein wollten. Es waren mehr Leute in der Hochschule als bei unseren Bonner Ausgaben, die Speaker waren unterhaltsam und emotional, was übrigens auch für die Moderation gilt. Gute Veranstaltung, geht das nächste Mal hin, wenn ihr in der Nähe seid!

Heute sind @atothezizzle, @hannahkaline und @Johannes bei den Freunden der FuckUp Nights Koblenz #FUNKo. 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♂️ pic.twitter.com/W21iSdeJXY

— Bonn.digital (@Bonndigital) April 11, 2019

Beachvolleyball: Bonn.digital spielte wieder beim Benefiz-Beachvolleyballturnier „Baggern für Kinderherzen“ mit. Unser Ziel dieses Jahr: Wenigstens Vorletzter werden. Was soll ich sagen, es hat knapp nicht geklappt. Aufgrund einer ungünstigen Gruppenkonstellation hatten wir aber auch nur zwei Spiele die Gelegenheit, etwas fürs Punktekonto zu tun. Was soll’s, es hat wieder viel Spaß gemacht und es ist ja für eine gute Sache.

Urlaub: Die Vorosterwoche hatte ich Urlaub. Wobei das Wort irreführend ist, wir haben einen Teil der Wohnung renoviert. Ausgerechnet im zukünftigen Kinderzimmer tauchte Schimmel unter der Tapete auf, wir hatten und haben also viel Vergnügen. Der Vorfall bedingte auch einen Spontanumzug des bis dahin in diesem Raum befindlichen Büros in das Schlafzimmer. Endlich wird mein Traum wahr, im Büro schlafen zu können.

Ausflug: Wenigstens am Ostersamstag kamen wir mal raus. Bei Bad Breisig drehten wir eine gar nicht mal so schöne Wanderrunde und holten uns die ersten Blasen des Jahres. So ist’s fein.

Wald mit Flugzeug in Bad Breisig

* * *

Dier gefählt nich wie ich schreib? Spendiere mir 1 Ortografie Kurs! 💰

spenden

(Original unter: https://1ppm.de/2019/04/aprilscherz-autobahn-blog4business-fuckup-nights-koblenz-renovierung/)

#Bad Breisig #BaggernfürKinderherzen #Blog4Business #FuckUp Nights #Koblenz #Tagebuch #Aus dem Leben

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mollyohmolly · 6 years ago

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the first half of age 26

(now five years ago, last half of 2013)

26 overall: not a banner year. I briefly toured a bit of the world, and I’ll keep that as my solace, but overall this will be remembered as a year of grave missteps. And will I ever learn? Yet to be determined. For the sadsack rundown, this year I: -gained 40+ pounds -moved back to Seattle for a sad, sort of humiliating summer -got two telephones stolen off of me -had a few falling outs -remained single for the duration -did not advance my career (read: begin) at all -drank myself into oblivion many, many nights -spent a stint homeless and broke -got fired -borrowed money from my folks -shipped my dog off to my folks since I was too much of a deadbeat to take care of him -am now laid up in my room because I tumbled down a hill blind drunk and rolled my ankle out and don’t have health insurance There were beautiful moments nestled in there, but they are momentary delusions at best. Began my year in maybe my favorite place on earth, a stretch of coastline along California Highway 1. I was living in a hippie home in Lower Pacific Heights in San Francisco with a ragtag group of weirdos, and I was working at a rock venue in the city’s trendiest/most rapidly gentrifying neighborhood. I was sleeping with a chatty blonde boy -- the lights tech -- half because we laughed a lot and I was lonely at the time, and somewhat because he lived around the corner from the venue. I convinced a Canadian boy I had met the previous summer to fly down for a birthday adventure, so he booked a WestJet. If you want something, ask for it. We had a great story if left adbriged - we met dancing in Vancouver one warm August night; lost track of my friends, got locked out of the house I was staying; he stayed up with me all night in a diner; took a bus back to the house as the sun came up over the (?) mountains. (Leaving out making out against a car, sleeping together.) I moved to San Francisco that autumn, and the next March I flew back up to Seattle to get Adderall/show off my California tan, he bussed down from Canada, and we had this idyllic weekend with friends and laughter that in some ways made me idealize Washington all over again. From there, we moved on to Skypes and sexts and adorable phone calls where I just listened really for signs of that damn Canadian accent in my lonely little bunk. My best friend from high school decided to move down to San Francisco from Portland, chasing the sun and good times and whiskey. Laura arrived the weekend of Bay to Breakers, a veritable bro fest. Our friend Lisa was there that weekend with her bro boyfriend Jeff, and we did the whole brunch/Dolores/Divisadero bar thing. I took her everywhere; things were not going to be so lonely. One night, Laura and Todd the light tech and I went to see Akron/Family show at the Independent on Divisadero. I was really the only one stoked for it, as that band had provided the soundtrack to many forlorn rides on the 595 from Olympia to Tacoma to Seattle during college, staring out at the gray Northwest. Turns out their sound had changed from foresty to bad electronica. Laura bailed and Todd walked home, and as I was walking home Nick the Canadian sent me a series of beautiful text that stirred my weary little heart after months of near-despair in San Francisco. “I don’t know what it is, but you get me in a way I’ve never been gotten,” is maybe the last thing I read before I felt plunged forward onto the concrete. So that was the night I was mugged, and the next day my mom and aunt flew into town, and there I was with bruises up and down my knees and thighs and a busted-up hand from punching a grown man in the nose with a strange shock of untapped strength. My heartsick mother replaced my phone with the newest model and we spent the weekend by her pool and exploring the city somewhat. She hated my house, but loved the wharf. Rented a Mercedes and careened down Lombard. Took a duck out, wore a sailboat shirt. Nice time, glad to have had it. I picked Nick up at the Oakland airport in an Audi we had rented for the weekend. He picked me up, he spun me. My hobby, as Stephen said, is importing boys. Tim, Hadleigh, Andrew, Brian, Jake: my favorite moments are at airports. I wore this white summer dress, he wore bright shorts. Went back to my house, my roommate Ryan called him a “Canadian ken doll.” We packed up the car with some tent, some muenster, and off we drove. Highway One is maybe one of the most magical places on earth, a stretch of impeccable California coastline. Craig and I first drove down years and years ago now, had dinner at Orson Welles’ old cabin, sat by a fire on a ledge at the end of the earth. So that’s how I wanted to spend my birthday, figuring that would set the tone for the rest of the year. Put on a playlist, drove into the sunshine, down long expanses of exquisite coast, his hand on my leg, his sideways smile in my periphery, all lips and hair and restless energy. Stopped in Santa Cruz, had lunch on the beach. Felt like we’d been together for years, a wonderful illusion. Bit of his temper towards others was cropping up. Didn’t care. His arm around me, always. He ran up behind me on a ledge. Stopped at coves, watched sea lions. Fell in love for a few days. Put up a tent alongside Big Sur River, then drove to the Henry Miller Library, got into a bottle of Bulleit and some Arnold Palmers. Watched a very formative band, one of my favorites, Two Gallants, play their melodies under soaring redwoods. Nick wrapped his arms around me while the singer smiled that golden smile, elbows rubbed off of his sweater, a brilliant perfect night, drove back, built a campfire, felt like it would never get better, and it never did. So for a weekend, we were this brilliant couple. We never could be: he lived on the other side of a border and it wouldn’t work. But we got along just fine, had the same sense of humor, had a great time because it was fleeting. The next day we took our time getting back to the city, stopping and climbing along bays and ravines in Carmel and old churches in Davenport and everything was wonderful. Met Laura at al our regular bars on Divis on Saturday night, got daydrunk with all my coworkers at the Chapel on Sunday, went to a fancy cocktail bar in the Haight, blacked out, made out, bought a grab bag of bullshit from the bodega for dinner the last night, made out, cuddled, cursed, laughed, cried, bonded, Monday morning my birthday came around and we rented another car called “Maple Syrup” and drove to Crissy Field and he took me to lunch at a French restaurant in an alleyway downtown -- drove him back to Oakland and after he checked in at the desk he came back out of the airport door and instructed me to give him “one more hug” before he flew away. Everything in California fell apart all at once. My $550/month sublet ended and housing was bleak. My parents wanted to ship Brogan back, but he had nowhere to go. Washington State wanted $800+ for my stint on unemployment. The Chapel was giving me a few measly shifts a week, and the money wasn’t stretching, and I couldn’t afford a down payment on lease in this tech-rich city. By fluke, I saw a Facebook posting for a $667/month sublet in Seattle with a group of Seattle University alumni that I somehow had ended up friends with. If I could reverse any decision, it would be this one. But I’m not sure; the summer that followed was one mistake after the next and the regrets would only stack and marinate, but maybe I’d have ended up worse. Maybe moving into Laura’s new apartment would have strained our friendship, maybe a lesson in humility was necessary, maybe it was just nice to have my dog around for a summetime and maybe I wouldn’t be in the apartment that I’m in now if not for a series of disasters. Or maybe had I stayed I would have met a great lad and had a great adventure and now I’d be splitting finances and writing for a living or I’d have lucked into some office job that I’d grow to resent, but wondering gets me nowhere. The fact is, I made a terrible choice, one that I thought would fix everything but just launched me into an awful, unshakeable depression that I’m only now beginning to see the other side of. I decided to move back to Seattle for the summer. With money that my grandmother had left me after her passing, I had booked a plane ticket from New York to Reykjavik to Amsterdam, and then a return ticket from Copenhagen a month later. It was very financially irresponsible, but fuck it, I figured. I doubted my ability to ever have my feet on steady ground, so I may as well get something out of the messes I make. So I moved back to Seattle for the summer. I can’t think of this past summer without cringing, fully. Everything I did was wrong. Everything was bad. I lived in Judkins Park, which is a good mile or two out from Capitol Hill, where I drank and worked and hung. I had all of these illusions of life back “home” after forgetting that I did leave for a reason; there was nothing left for me. It took me a few week to find jobs, and when I finally did, I took anything I could get. I got a job through my old manager at a new high-end restaurant called the Old Sage; the only job left was a fucking host. For weeks, we had to come in in the mornings to train and get the restaurant ready for open, taste scotches at 10am, and for what? So I could work the door at a total dud of a restuarant that was priced above what anyone was willing to pay on 12th avenue? They threw me a few shifts bartending at The Coterie Room down in Belltown, which was painful in its own way. The other job was a fucking GRAVEYARD shift at a hipster DINER that just opened, Lost Lake. Embarassing. So for 8 hours a night, from 10am to 6am, I would sling fucking breakfast food to drunk people who would have to wait upwards of an hour for the stoned cooks to put their mush on a plate and then I’d tip out every goddamn person in that terrible system and walk with like, $150 maybe, and then I’d walk home the 40 minutes to Judkins Park to save money and I’d try to make it interesting by trying to listen to a new album on the walk home every day, but all I’d hear is the familiar chorus in my mind: you’re 26 and walking home from a diner and you live a sad life and you should quit it all you fucking desperate idiot. And they’d do first call at 6am so there’d be this group of fellow idiots on the bar side at dawn and then I’d walk home listening to Wolf Parade: “I’m a disaster. I could not be burning faster. I walk into webs, and take my meals with weirdos.” Then I’d walk Brogan and sleep through the sunshine and hope it all would end. I did not end up with Nick. I was honest with him when he left San Francisco, saying I would not pine for him and that I couldn’t promise anything but that I’d of course love to see him again. We made plans to go to Banff for his birthday. A few weeks later, I was moving a few hours from him but it was too late. He went home to the girl he’d previously quit. She was plain, fit, dull but probably sweet, into yoga and beer and running, 27, and more importantly, local. I think they live together now. Well, fuck. My romantic life was one dud after the next and mostly didn’t happen because I worked around-the-clock for very little pay. Zach Tyerman returned home from med school briefly and we met up at Manhattan Drugs for drinks, then Poquito’s for dinner. We met on my roof the night Craig stole my passport to see me again; a few weeks later Craig and I were dating, and we did that for a few years. Zach moved in around the corner with a guy I had once dated, Ryan Calderon. He hit on my friends, he flirted with me. He was a goofy fellow; Craig and I would joke about it. Zach and I would study at Vivace or Roy Street a lot during the wintertimes. He brought me to dinner to meet his mother and all his aunts, and I won them over easily since I wasn’t dating him so I wasn’t nervous impress them. His parents would come visit me for brunch at 22 Doors. I wrote his essay for med school; he got in. Our friendship was predicated on never sleeping together, so as I got dressed and drank the first few whiskey lemonades of the night, I promised myself: don’t sleep with Zach. When I saw him, he looked sort of great. He had a new haircut, more gentlemanly, and he was dressed well, and age seemed to have softened his features in a nice way. And it was way he treated me: he had flipped the switch to on, and without the usual teasing contempt he reserved for women with boyfriends. He used to say I had some frustrating charm. And I only frustrated him further that night. In assuming sleeping with him might ruin our friendship, not sleeping with him was probably more damaging. We went to Carly’s going away party at Big Mario’s. She was flying off to Hawaii for the summer to be with her parents, who were negotiating a divorce. I’d be taking her room in the third floor of the condo until she got back, the very week I was leaving for Europe. Kaitlyn had decorated the bar with palm trees and tiki lights, and I showed up drunk, and I regaled Zack Bolotin and Shaun Callahan of the story of my very last night in San Francisco. While waiting in a bar on Mission Street, I was approached a man who offered me CINCUENTA for “in-house” services. Mostly I was offended by the price. (Also that night: left my purse with the keys to my apartment with all of my luggage in it at another bar. Right before my flight, while all of my roommates were out of town. Always a fuckup!) Anyway, between dinner at Mario’s we had segued briefly to Linda’s and picked up a friend of Zach’s from highschool, a kind, outdoorsy guy named Alex. And now at Mario’s, Alex had his hand on my leg underneath the table and Zach stormed off into the night. Sent some wild texts. Trying to make amends the next day, Zach seemed to take the whole thing very personally. “He should have read the situation!” and “I feel like you were doing this to hurt me for some reason.” It seemed a lot like when Zac found out about Andrew, so maybe it runs in the name. But anyway he didn’t miss much: Alex and I went back to Judkins, fooled around, and somehow when Kaitlyn and Carly got home, Brogan got out and bolted, and I ran FULL SPEED down Norman Avenue -- never sprinted so fast in my life -- and across fucking Rainier Avenue through traffic BAREFOOT and eventually cornered him and scooped him up by a parking garage maybe a half mile from my house and then realized I wasn’t wearing shoes. Alex invited me to a bonfire at his house the next day, to which I responded (sort of joking? but kind of not?) “I’m not going to Ravenna.” To this day, Zach kind of rudely alludes to this whole situation via text. Fourth of July was my first day at Lost Lake, so I went down and began that awful chapter. While there, I ran into Eric, a thirty-something man I had met the previous summer at a soul night at Chop Suey. We had exchanged numbers, but I ended up with a friend of his, a real weirdo named Aeden. There was still something about him that made me incredibly nervous. And our story had a very loose end. But not to worry! We tied it up that night. Todd flew up to Seattle for his birthday and we had an okay time. I picked him up and he was so incredibly chatty and I realized this was a terrible mistake and I was so irritated the entire ride up from the airport. But it was his birthday and he had flown up, so I figured I’d just show him the town and try to have a good time and not give him any illusions about this being a lasting relationship. So we did. Went to the docks, some bars, Belltown, walked Bro, had some good adventures, rented some cars, did poppers with Tim, made him dinner, he had the time of his life and he still waxes poetic about the week so all in all, I’d say it was his version of my weekend in Big Sur. Then I met Party Bro, a guy who came into Lost Lake at 5am in a puffy vest and a shiny cap and ordered chicken fried steak with a kind friend, then conned me into staying by offering to buy my Uber home if I stayed for first call. He was a real douche and I knew it and he knew it and that was that, I guess. He was unapolegetic about being a party fiend and in love with his own damn life. But I guess I figured that was what I needed; I was leaving in a month and I wasn’t trying to find a reason to stay in Seattle. This was a guy I had 0% chance of falling for. He tried to kiss me getting into the Uber. Then he came to a bar, Montana, where I was hanging with Drew and Brian who’d flown in and tried to kiss me. Then I figured I wouldn’t put out for him, because that’s the way to keep these guys around for a good time. He asked me on a date, a real date. He made reservations, he picked me up in his car, it was a warm summer night. I wore a little black dress and heels, he wore dress shoes, we looked great. He ordered a big platter of food on the back patio of Poppy, and I decided not to tell him how picky of an eater I was, and gamely tried the salmon. I’d like to think we both brought our dating a-game. Then we went to one fancy cocktail bar after another, and he didn’t let me pay a dime the entire night, and Doug Wargo saw us and whispered, “Whoa” to me. We went to Sun Liquor Distillery and then plain ole Sun Liquor and it was a great first date, and I could tell he was very well rehearsed at first dates. So that was an okay thing to distract me from the bullshit of the rest of the summer, there was some dancing, some nights at dives, a canned bullshit speech the night he introduced me to his friends, and of course after I slept with him it sort of petered out. On his birthday at Havana, Kaitlyn let him buy us shots and then told him she was not a fan, and then her and Carey and I sort of ran off into the night, so that was that. During Block Party -- all the roads in Capitol Hill get blockaded off and a bunch of bands perform -- I worked all three nights at Lost Lake, so I got to go all three days for free. It was okay. Not what it used to be, or I’m not who I used to be. It ended spectacularly: Party Bro came in to say hello and kiss me good luck at the beginning of my shift, and towards the end of the night he came in blackout drunk holding hands with a rando girl, and then tried to text me some bullshit - so I put my phone down on the counter behind the bar, never to see it again. Felt like a real fuck up - hadn’t had the phone for more than a month or so since the last one got mugged off of me, and now it was gone again, and for what? Some scumbag I was just hanging on to so I could feel a little less lonely for a little while? Cool. Spent some nights with Nicholas, as has been our way for years and years, but by now it meant less than ever. Whenever I look back on a bad time, I try to rationalize it by considering maybe some good came of it. I did this for San Francisco round one: at least I got to ride out my crippling loneliness in solace, and also I got a great friendship with Drew. Out of this summer, I got a surprisingly great friendship with Carey. The first few weeks in Seattle, I stayed in his room downstairs while he was on a motorcycle trip through Southern California. It was great because the doors opened to the yard, where Brogan could frolic. I spent those weeks with Kaitlyn, a solid friend, and Carly, a peripheral friend. They complained about weird passive-aggressive text exchanges with Carey, a weird poster he’d hung in the bathroom, and the general living situation with him. He wasn’t so bad, I countered. “You’ll see,” they forewarned me. He returned, I moved upstairs, we shared some whiskey, and then we just sort of got along really well. He got along with Brogan. We had the same interests in life, although despite being a stoner, he was way more motivated than I was. Not a hard feat. We were into the same music. We cared about similar things. Liked the same beer and whiskey and bbq food and that made for a good summer hang. We had met summers ago, had practiced our Spanish on each other at cafes, and then had a fairly unspectacular session together before a Weakerthans show, so all of that was out of the way. Things were cozy. Kaitlyn was getting involved seriously with a guy, and so it was just me and Carey a lot. We’d hang on our computers, stay in an watch TV, ride his bike to the bank, grocery shop, share car2go’s to the hill, grab drinks or dinner, catch shows, drink beer, plot our lives. Spent a lot of time on the T-docks along Lake Washington. It was like the best parts of coming home to someone without any of the messiness of a relationship. One night at Judkins Park, I felt this weird desire to just tell him everything that made me tick somewhat incorrectly, just because I felt like at that time it wouldn’t affect his opinion of me really because it didn’t matter, but at the last moment decided against it. I didn’t know how to begin to phrase it. We were in a car2go, headed to the hill like usual. Fuck it, I figured, I like this friendship at the very basic, well-functioning level that it is. All of this would ultimately implode while I was in Europe, but for a few months Carey was one of the people I was closest to, if only from proximity. I do remember nice nights: -Tim got tickets to Hairspray! and it was weird and we almost left and it was raining hard but we were dressed up and it was fine -Seeing Elway with Carey and Peter at El Corazon - the pop-punk soundtrack to our summer -Brian came to town for Block Party weekend in July -One night at Montana with Tim & Drew & Brian and then also Party Bro -Wandering around the hill with Feven -Going to Fisherman’s with Kaitlyn, where we used to work, and getting the tour from Jim -Seeing a lot of sunrises -Seeing a lot of sunsets -A lot of days spent at Madison -Block Party with Kait and Carey -a lot of cab rides -Drew packing up my room -kareoke at Pony with Tim & Stephen and then also Ryan McMichael, in town from Paris -Dom sleepover -SubPop festival in Georgetown -weird rose wine night at some fancy place in Eastlake with Kait and Erin -Marc driving up from Portland and little adventures - exploring Seattle -weird perpetual flirtation with weird Linda’s bartender - a loose end that will likely never get tied up -knowing it was all fleeting But mostly I’ll remember how weird it all felt. Saying farewell to Seattle was all too easy. My illusory trip in March had been washed out by a stale, sad summer. My time there was dead and gone. So I did what I’ll look back on as truly idiotic: I left with absolutely no plan, and not enough resources to return to anywhere. The government had tapped my bank account and drained some money for my unemployment debt, and living in Judkins Park had cost more than the $666 rent, with storage, cabs, and general well-being. I was bloated from eating diner food all summer, and had maybe $1200 amassed after everything for my trip. I quit my jobs with very little notice, so as to burn the bridge and not tempt me to just return to them when I got back. I planned on bringing Bro to NY while I was away so my folks could watch him, but Carey offered to watch him for help with the next months’ rent. Because Bro was acclimated to the house and oddly adored Carey, I figured it was best to leave him be rather than hurtle him across the country. This decision maybe would come to overshadow my summer in Seattle as one of my worst decisions of the year. So off I went. I flew to my parent’s house in upstate New York, and Tim arrived the next day. We hung with our old friend Erika, who had since had two children with one more on the way, and had also gotten married. It was strange. I was sleepy. We spent all day gathering last minute supplies, like locks and weird sheets and walking shoes. (The locks were too small, the sheets were pointless, and the shoes were only broken in by the end of the trip.) Then we packed up our bags, they drove us to JFK, and we boarded our Icelandair plane. Look, I won’t ever regret this trip. There’s a million minute things and some very large ones that I would absolutely change, and a lot of it is within me. I went on this trip very, very lost. I went without a plan, and even less of a game plan for when I returned. I didn’t expect to find the answers out there, but I was hoping that it would at least give me some perspective, or I’d gain some interesting experiences. I’m getting old and I’ve got to get out there any way I can, and I did. All that aside, I went about a lot of things the wrong way. Timothy and I agreed from the get-go that this trip would almost certainly at times try our friendship, and it certainly did. But this friendship’s endured bouts of bullshit before and it will again, oh well. First stop was Iceland. I had become transfixed by the place via Google Earth many moons ago; I’d spun the globe and found this strange land where people actually lived, and a little lagoon where people swam, and it seemed otherworldly. (Years later, my sister would become transfixed and sully my interest a little, but nevermind that.) So we booked the free layover and a hip hostel by the water. Got my first passport stamp at customs. Bought a few bottles of liquor at duty-free. Took a shuttle to our hostel, and our very first night, things went awry. I was anxious to explore, but Tim was cranky and didn’t like the taste of his vodka and just wanted to Skype with his boyfriend. The hostel was a ghost town -- off season in September -- and I sat in the dead but beautifully curated lobby and wondered how the trip would go. We had absolutely none of it planned, minus a few vague ideas: for me, Barcelona was a must; for us, the labyrinth in Berlin was a long-time plan; and for sure, our flights were leaving out of Denmark. It was fucking freezing in our hostel room that night and the next and the next. The next day was better, we explored downtown Rejkjavik -- a small town by any stretch of the imagination -- all of the magical street art and skate parks and rad dads in thick sweaters and the whipping wind and the little shops and cobblestone walks. Then we took a shuttle with a nice Canadian couple to the Blue Lagoon, and it shot straight up to one of the more surreal, magical moments of my little life. The drive there looked like we were scaling the moon, and we drank vodka 7up out of Icelandic water bottles. We changed in futuristic locker rooms where I shared awe with an older Canadian woman. “Look at where we are now,” I must have repeated several dozen times to Tim. And then I spun around in the warm water memorizing every curve of each hill and every plume of smoke and the expression on every placid face, like I used to when I was young, and I filed it all away for when everything else gets bad. We drank some expensive beers and paid via our wrists, and then I had a truly spectacular exit: we ran to catch the bus, Tim pulled my arm to lead us to the correct one, and down I went, headfirst into a beautiful glacial spike. Boarded the wrong bus and then the right bus with a bleeding head gash and napped the whole ride home. Tim fed me water and ibuprofen and made us friends for the night, and then I went out dancing with a fresh head bump. I’d eventually fall in every country I visited, but the first fall is the deepest, and I gashed a hole in the only pair of jeans I’d brought with me, day two. Same ole story, different backdrop. But Iceland was weird and magical and met got my first taste of traveling life, where everyone hails from far-flung places and asks each other, “How many months have you been out?” Met a cute girl from Baltimore - danced all night - drank water - Haarlem - dance clubs - regulars - beautiful intriguing blondes as far as the eyes could see - winding streets, whipping wind - met some rando, deliriously stylish Icelandic students in a closed-up Mexican shop/drank their tequila - the next day was one of the most painful mornings of my life: hungover to hell, freezing, massively dehydrated, and with a gaping head wound. Veronika from Baltimore left a bottle of alcohol and a note in her wake, off to drive off towards the Northern Lights, never to be seen again. But that’s how it goes. And later I got drunk on that traveling life and also a Mexican writer’s Mezcal - walking down the hall to a huddle of chairs by the window, seeing their silhouettes in the light from the water and the mountains - seemed unreal. Some Canadians, a German girl, two English blokes, the Mexican, and once we drank everything up, we went downstairs to where a man named Magnus was hosting a bunch of beautiful, sweatered musicians grown and raised and grisled up there, with a set by a man named Snorri. And so the night went - up a hill just following along, a feeling I felt once in the Hollywood Hills - in a corner of a bar with a softspoken man who studied caribou in Greenland - dancing to a song I vowed to remember as I recorded the moment away in a small room - every moment stranger, colder, kinder than the last. We barely made it out of Iceland. I stayed awake all night, just Tim, the caribou man now, and me in that cold 8-bed room. Got us up for the 4am shuttle to Keflavik. Babysat Tim the entire time, nausous and obnoxious. Got on our flight to the Netherlands, Tim vomited while we were taxiing. Then again. Cruised in to another odd world, this one with long swathes of colored fields (tulips!) and long rings of canals. Then we got to Schiphol and my card was rejected at the ATM, despite forewarning my bank of impending travel. Also, despite paying the $25 for international service, that was also a fluke. Exchanged some cash at an exchange to get by, Tim bought us Burger King in Schiphol for being such a baby, and I secured a place to stay via Couchsurfing. The address was maddeningly confusing and the directions even murkier, but we got on a train and winged in and finally things were feeling foreign, with all the gibberish on the signs. I’d found a nice Scottish lad to put us up for a few days, and he had a flat on a canal in Leidseplein that his corpo job put him up in and he let us stay in for free. It was lovely: white walls, exposed beams, two floors, very modern. It looked exactly like where Craig would live and how he would keep it. The lad was nice, his speech very garbled. He gave us the entire top loft, which led to a garden patio. Spent about four days in Amsterdam. It was my first European city, so I drank it all up - the bikes, canals, flower shops, buildings from the 1500s on, cafes, languages. I had never visualized Amsterdam much. The Red Light district was disarming, fantastic looking women framed in little windows offering themselves up. Not sure what I expected there. In some windows, they were doing mundane tasks, like snacking or texting or removing nail polish. Went to the photography museum and saw a photograph of Newburgh, New York. By a canal, flipped through an entire photo book of self-portraits over several decades; watched a man’s body degrade, shift, had to briefly confront my own terror of aging, already felt. Ate an expensive breakfast and realized we ought to start scrounging around grocery stores to save our cash - hated having to give so much consideration to money but necessary. Smoked in a weed cafe, but all the weed in Europe is cut with tobacco. Tim found a massage chair, changed his world. Found a really old cafe, felt really weird in it, got lost on the way back. Still a lot of fresh panic from that mugging last spring. Didn’t go to any of the big museums or the beer tours because I don’t know. I’ll save that for when I’m older. This trip was, as I’ll repeat often, the sampler platter trip. It seems like a very American way of saying I’ll dip my feet in a few seas or whatever. Went out with Iain, our host, nice bloke. Kind of was over Amsterdam and the cold after a few days and ready to journey on though, and convinced Tim the sun was what we needed. Years ago, I planned to do a semester in Barcelona. I had spent a semester in New York studying art, which consisted of just going to galleries and museums and plays and ballets and operas and concerts for a few months and somehow getting college credit for that. I lived in the ground floor of a classmate’s fucking $7 million dollar brownstone while there, and I split the roommate with my classmate Kate, and we plotted replicating the program in Spain. And we hammered out the details and I saved up several thousand dollars to do it and then when the time came Kate -- working parttime as a florist in Olympia -- did not raise the funds and then my relationship fell apart and I moved into a terrible apartment in Capitol Hill and postponed the trip to the winter, then the spring, and then by summertime my grandmother had passed and my cousin was getting married, so I spent it back in New York instead, and I never went to Barcelona. So if there was one fucking place I was going on this trip, it was Spain. It seemed like the place where I belonged, if that’s such a thing -- I loved the language, and I loved all the stereotypes -- the siestas and the long nights and the lax sense of time and the beaches and the dancing and the casual drinking and the small plates and it seemed like it would fit well with my idealized self. So we went. Tim chose the hostel, I whined, it was kind of the worst -- a lot of younger kids, a late-night hallway brawl, not much charm, but a big patio and, you know, a place to sleep I guess. Food was cheap. All was well. We arrived unexpectedly the first day of Barcelona’s biggest festival, La Merce. Just a wild party in the streets waiting for us. I’d met a South African bro on the plane ride, who at first weirded me out because he never moved from the middle seat when the aisle was open, but was rather nice, spoke with a vaguely British/Afrikaans accent. We ventured out on their relatively simple train system to where the festival was, along the way met a cute guy from Seattle, now studying mathematics in upstate NY at Cornell. Brilliant! The festival was brilliant as well and perfect and wonderful and all else, and beer was a euro on the street, and we wound our way through these little alleyways to find a bizarre dance with a bunch of gigantic puppets, and children building human towers in white with red sashes, and drank Manhattans in some pub, and danced to this African woman who was intensely wonderful and I promised I’d look up though I had no reference. We caught a train back - walked the wrong way drunk - Tim was pissed and drunk and weary of me probably - furious - walked ten paces from me and I’ve never felt such weird tension, disappointed - ended up getting in a cab and it was playing this British kid Jake Bugg - “Broken” - his voice was wobbly, maybe a little contrived - but at that moment it broke my heart in a million little ways and I couldn’t shake it and I felt rejected kind of cruelly by a friend and it was sort of crushing - this came at a time when I felt wholly rejected, kind of cast off, adrift, and I needed something, anything, because I was not enough for myself. We acted the next day like nothing had happened, as we do. We met up with the South African, Stephen, at Barceloneta, and for the first time I swam in the Meditteranean, and it was warm and lovely as beaches tend to be. We agreed to meet up again, and a memory burnt into my mind is meeting up again at the Arc de Triumf for the festival that night - Stephen in his backpack, but further off, for some reason a perfect image: Sam Hopkins, the Cornell baby genius, leaned up against the ark, one foot up, with a bar of dark chocolate tucked into his flannel, hair askew. We had a lovely night and then another and then they, too, were gone from our lives, with vague promises to meet again in Capetown or Seattle. On a Sunday we climbed Montjuic for another part of the festival that allegedly included a circus, but instead ended up at an EDM festival. I was out of sorts with Tim and it was weird when maybe it could have been wonderful if I didn’t live so much in my goddamn head, or wasn’t so sensitive, or maybe if I took more of the molly that our new Swedish comrades offered up. There was another girl named Ally that only fueled my crumbling spirit, although I can’t place why. But there was a bunch of sweet humans, and we had a good night, a Pernilla and a and a, should have took more drugs maybe, should have let go for once, but the fear was burrowing into me and I felt it hard that day and that night and even at some dark salon bar I would have loved, I felt so entirely out of sorts. I felt wholly undefined. And it’s not easy to snap out of it in a communal room with three German guys. We decided to slow our pace because the time we had already spent in transit was irritating and who ever is in a rush to get out of Barcelona? So I found the next hostel and it was a damn good decision. The next week was long and wonderful and cozy. Within a few minutes of settling in, we met a Slovakian girl named Nina and a French-Canadian boy named Dominic, and set off to the beach with them, and collected other friends that week. We found L’Ovella Negra, a little pub for travelers that offered sangria by the five-gallon bucket, and the hostel offered a full slate of activities mapped out on a chalkboard. That night we went to La Merce and then a club and there Dominic the young French Canadian, off to southern France in the morning, kissed me and we kissed again among all the characters along Las Ramblas and then I told him he should stick around a few more days and when we got back to the hostel he booked his bed for a few more days and then we made out in a space made for hanging out clothing to dry. Should have left it at that night, but no. He stayed. We collected more friends, had more adventures, went to more clubs and bars, went off to Sagrada Familia, insane and intricate. Connor came along, a big, moody young guy from San Luis Obispo. The “tour guide” for the hostel was a Polish girl named Kate, but she was so casual about her role, it actually made for a way better experince. Kind of a rather beautiful weirdo. A few more. I settled in with Dominic because, I don’t know, looking back I needed affection, and he was sweet and simple, and he liked little things like going to the Dia market together to make a simple breakfast, and maybe I just wanted that feeling of someone wanting to be around me so much. Ended up kind of hating myself for it, but not til later. For now everything was nice. Dominic and I went to Park Guell. We took naps, woke up at odd hours, drank one-euro wine by the bottle. Gave Tim and I the airing out from each other that we needed. Easily one of the best feelings was when we all decided to stay even longer, and lined up by the desk, and rebooked our rooms again. So Barcelona will always exist as this time in my life when reality was suspended and I was maybe the maximum amount of cozy one can be before death. Could never list half of what we did there. Decided on Berlin next, since we were eating up a lot of time in Spain. We only had a few bad moments in Barca. One night we agreed to go to a gay club for Tim, and everyone backed out, but Dominic and I still went and shored up enough euros for cover and drank shit beer in a musty room while Tim whined for a good half hour that no one would do gay things with him when we did, in fact, come hang. Another night we all took Adderall, and Tim became kind of a dick, and Dominic was kind of a youth about it and reacted poorly to his now-racing mind, and Connor disappeared for a solid 24 hours in the Barri Gotic, and I just felt elevated and chill like I always do when I take it. And while he was grouchily coming down, Tim and I squabbled a little bit about our tickets to Denmark, because sharing finances AND making travel decisions together was kind of becoming a burden. There was also the morning we left for Germany, because we hadn’t actually communicated about getting to the airport after the ticket-booking showdown, and when the time came Dominic, now claiming he loved me, took awhile to say goodbye to, and we had to run to Plaza Catalunya to board a shuttle, didn’t speak to each other once during that ride, and then RAN across the entire airport with our fucking backpacks, while all the while thinking: If we don’t make this plane, this might be the end of our friendship. So then there was Berlin. I broke down that night in my hostel, the Heart of Gold. Finally everything caved in. It dawned on me that I was heading “home” soon but that I actually did not have a home; my parents were in NY, my dog and belongings in Seattle, my best friend and a few solids and a job I guess were in SF. But they all felt like I was going backwards, without any forward momentum. I had an 8-bed room, but I was alone in it, and I slept for a solid day, and when I woke up I had no concept of where I was, and it was one of the eeriest feelings I ever felt, though peaceful. I had created nothing meaningful to return to. So I wallowed a bit. Berlin was cold and drab and I felt like I was coming down from Spain, and that familiar yearning for a sense of belonging. So a dull panic washed over me. Germany’s history is bleak, so attempting to distract myself playing tourist was futile, so I just wrote by the River Spree. A group of deaf people sat around me, the only person occupying a bench, and one stood in front of signing to them. Felt surreal, like a joke I’d laugh at later. I sat up late and read the internet in the lobby, also a 24 hour bar, the only area with wifi. It was meant to promote interaction over technological addiction, but in actuality it caused everyone to gather in the lobby to plot out their days on their devices, alienating everyone. One night, a lovely moment: a rando group of travelers gathered together playing music, a quiet performance of “Fly Me to the Moon.” My aircraft was grounded, and they offered to rebook me. “I’ll meet you anywhere in the world,” Dominic wrote from Toulouse. So I contacted my parents, upset, and they booked me flights to Paris, and I told Tim. Discouraged, I posted on FB about my flight being grounded/being bummed in Berlin, spoke with Carey about the delay, and got a message from Dana putting me in touch with some friends of hers. Had another bad moment with Tim the next day nearing the Berlin Wall, but kind of getting tired of telling those stories now. Doesn’t matter. Later he tried to make amends when he found a festival -- it seems we arrived just in time for their Reunification festival -- and I tried to muster up some excitement, but I’d been so weirded out in my hostel and with Tim it was difficult. Rode a ferris wheel with a Syrian, watched the poppunk band The Wanted perform, got a scarf for the cold, drank an Irish coffee. Taryn told me that if ever I feel weirded out while traveling, to find an Irish pub, and she was right. They’re the same everywhere. Checked in to Tim’s hostel since he convinced me it was better, but switched rooms to an all-girls rooms to allow us more space. Somewhat bolstered by the promise of Paris, and not ending the trip on such a sour note. But then Dana’s friend Warwick contacted me, and I met up with him and his wife and their friends in a little smoky pub in Nuekolln. In high school, I had a penpal named Colin, and he spent a semester abroad in Copenhagen, and he’d written to me about the Dutch concept of hygellig. Cozy. And I’ve been chasing it ever since. And then there it was, at Leidak. I drank nearly two liters of wine, got reamed at by the old German cashier in German, got on a random train, wandered around in a wino daze, and then there it was. I hadn’t taken to Berlin the way people told me I would - it was quiet and cold and harsh and bleak, and I used those descriptors to exhaustion - but a quiet, simple sort of night changed my mind, because it was so quiet and simple, and because the humans were so kind, and because I knew they had endless strings of quiet, simple nights drinking Dada cocktails at little smoky pubs and talking about this or that and maybe some nights were wild but all I ever wanted were the mellow nights I knew they experienced in abundance. I looked around: I would have loved to be a part of any circle of humans in that bar, and I heard snippets of their languages and laughter and I wanted in. I guess it’s that simple: I wanted in. I didn’t feel so much as I belonged with this particular set of humans as I felt I could belong somewhere, a feeling I hadn’t had in a long while. I made eyes with a bright-eyed boy across the way, and my next memory -- this one clear as fucking day -- was being held against him at a U-bahn station in Kreuzberg -- I remember because when we momentarily broke off from me I asked “Wait...where the hell are we?” and he answered, with his sloppy smile, “We’re in Kreuzberg” -- and note I don’t think anyone has ever kissed me quite that fervently -- he reminded me of a schoolyard bully, can’t place why -- and we ended up back at his large flat in Kreuzberg via taxi -- and goddamn if I hadn’t sifted through this night 200x since -- Laurence, you ruined Paris for me. I awoke in his bed with all my stuff back at the hostel in Mitte, but it was settled, I would stay with him for the rest of the weekened - “Now let’s go get you sorted” - since I was just wandering through, there was no pretense about a relationship, no bullshit. And so we went, and we got sorted. Found Tim. I made shit hostel breakfast with what leftovers I had, some stale bread, some scrambled eggs, and while I cooked he came and put his arms around me, a simple movement, but I still riding that high of a fleeting sense of belonging. He was a writer, teaching English, approaching 30, a bloke from Manchester. We napped at his place after wandering around Kreuzberg, and then he went and fucking kissed the top of my head just when “Slow Show” came on, unknowingly, and he held me the whole time as I promised not to fall for the loveliness and novelty of this stranger, but by then it was too late, si claro, he could easily shoehorn into being the next Nick: a beautiful taste of something I’d always want to drink some more of. Nick had done a similarly absentminded thing -- he’d wrapped me up into his sweater with him while waiting for the bus that morning in Vancouver -- and even then my heart was like oh no, oh no. And ever since, I’ve been giving up on decent guys whose only real fault is they never caused my dumb little heart to spike in some silly way. We met Tim at the labyrinth, a plan we hatched long ago. We drank in the corridor for awhile, then got the gold coin - a woman spun me and sent me off - first fright was own damn reflection popping up - crawled around in that wild, haphazard maze for awhile - standing there was Laurence, taller, eyes bluer, hair wilder - found Tim and the other Laurence, crawled on the floor to a neon-white room and danced and crawled back and went upstairs and kissed Laurence for awhile. Everytime you access a memory, it degrades like a shitty jpeg, so I try not to tap into these things anymore. We had dinner back in Kreuzberg at some Italian place and then fell asleep together again and woke up; I had a flight to catch and he had a match to get to, so he walked me to the bus stop and I said farewell and he went, nearly offended, “Wait a minute, kiss me goodbye.” So I kissed him goodbye and went to Paris to meet Dominic “under the Eiffel Tower at sunset.” Paris was doomed from the start. Never agree to meet anyone under the fucking Eiffel Tower at fucking sunset. Never flee to Paris as a means to delay figuring out your damn life. I never gave it a fair shake. Don’t even feel like thinking about it. Flew to Orly and stopped at a McCafe to charge up, got an awful message from Carey, checked my depleted bank account, I don’t even really want to go through this part of the year right now. It’s like a cloud fogged me over from the inside out. Blood went tepid. Can’t explain it. First few moments in France: I don’t know, what the fuck ever. You know what, Paris was beautiful, and odd, and winding, and I had some great nights, drank some great wine, met some weird humans, and maybe some other time in my life I’ll process it, but not now. Point being, by the end of the trip, I was a mess. And I had to catch a flight to Denmark from de Gaulles. McMichael had taken me to the train and bid me well - I fell one last time in the square before leaving. Gave me a strange smile, like we both recognized how fucked up it was, and I remembered him in his apartment on Melrose years ago, and again in his apartment in the first arrondisement of Paris playing “Life is a Pigsty,” wearing the same face. On the plane, tucked into a copy of a The Big Sleep I’d picked up at Shakespeare & Company at Laurence’s suggestion, I found a series of post-its written haphazardly by a drunken Dominic from his last night in Paris and it all slowly dawned on me. Between those and Carey’s increasingly agro messages, man, I crumpled. I’m weak enough as is, but damn. So Copenhagen was weird. Caught the train to the hostel Tim suggested in Norrebro, only to find it all booked up and in fact, every hostel in Copenhagen all booked up. Sent out some flairs on Couchsurfing from an Irish pub where the barman had a vague Manchester accent. Can’t explain the daze I walked around Copenhagen in, carrying my full backpack, feeling utterly defeated. Knowing that all of this navel-gazing and sorrow was overinflated and bearing down on a good time, but maybe necessary, no I didn’t realize that at the time. I just wanted to drift off into the sea and let go of it all. The trip was over, my escape was over, and reality was even bleaker. I could not have charted a rockier landing. And where to? What next? What did I have now? I saw so many lives pass in front of me that I wanted to try on for size, but not this one any longer. Melodramatic, sure, but I suppose in a foreign land all alone there’s some lenience on grand, sorry self-pitying. A Taiwanese man found me on CS and I met him and a few others at a lovely pub after being berated by my taxi for not having a chip on my card. Threw all my krona at him and ran in, backpack and all, to a rather nice place. Had a lovely night with another host and his surfer, a blonde book publisher out of Helsinki. Taoi ended up being kind of a weirdo, but nevermind that. Everything faded away for a little while. Called Dominic to apologize, and perhaps explain myself, wished him the best on his travels. So by the end of the trip, I was a real mess. I hadn’t combed my hair in a month, and it was curly as hell and nearly dreadlocked. I took my flight to Norway, where everyone has blue eyes and everything is polished nicely and beer is nearly 20 bucks a bottle and I was hungry and weary and broke and tried to sort of bathe in the good nights, the good humans, the good stories, the good hours, the good moments I’d memorized from every angle. There was no shortage, and I tried not to let the fear leak in to those, quarantining them to a kinder home in my mind. Took an 8-hour flight back to JFK. Was alerted at customs that it seems I now had two pink eyes. Rushed to the bathroom to clean up before seeing my parents, and there was my mother, and there was her vision of her lost-at-sea daughter: two pink eyes, matted hair, unwashed clothing, torn jeans, kind of gaunt and very tan. They fed me and let me sleep for a day or two and then I broke down in my parent’s bedroom and admitted I had absolutely no plan for what came next and not even an idea of what I wanted out of life and very little money and no way to take care of my pup adequately and all of this came from their 26 year old daughter. They went to work and when they came back, they offered me a bailout: I could come home for a little bit while I got back on my feet. Safe and sound in my bed, I almost considered it. But you know what, fuck that, fuck all of my whining about poor decisions, I love my parents and I know this offer was put on the table in order to help me out and ultimately get me back on the east coast and away from my haphazard nomadic ambling, but thank the LORD I did not take them up at them. It would be like redacting the past near-decade of my life. Ultimately, they gave me a grand as a loan to sort my shit out with the promise I’d repay it from a paycheck at a financially lucrative, upstanding job, and soon, but as it so happens I’m not that on it, but at least I’m not living at home. The following winter was one of the most depressing periods of my life. I entered into a phase of homelessness, unemployment, couchsurfing, meandering, freeloading, and just being a general degenerate while I tried to get my ducks in a row. And I pitied myself, dear lord did I pity myself. More, I despaired every decision that had led me to this life. Couldn’t pin it on any one thing - I was pretty consistently irresponsible. Realized early on I’d have to cash in on every ounce of good fortune I could, cash out really. So I did. I stayed with Nicholas for two weeks in Seattle while I collected Brogan, paid off Carey, paid Tim the remainder for our trip, moved my stuff from one storage locker to a cheaper unit, collected leftover checks, whatever. Got to Seatac, then to SFO. Stayed with Todd for a few weeks on 19th & Valencia in SF, WITH Brogan, but didn’t sleep with him so as not to make it any weirder, eventually he got weary of that arrangement. Shipped Brogan back to New York, stayed with Laura for a month. That took us the holidays. Couldn’t afford to go home for either, for the first time in my life. Thanksgiving Laura and I ate mashed potatoes at an Irish pub, and then drank at Pop’s. Christmas we ate at a Chinese restaurant, and then drank at Casanova. She left from Makeout Room to see about a boy, and so did the others we were out with, so it was just me and this stoner bro, so spent the night with him. Picked up every shift I could at the Chapel, working 6-7x a week. Agreed to a $900 sublet on 26th & Folsom for the month of January while I worked on setting up a living situation. New Years Eve was my last night at the Chapel though; worked the mezzanine bar alone, and when 12 struck I was just sort of there to watch it happen, stayed up into the wee small hours of the morning with my coworkers and then disappeared off of the schedule. Had to go in not once but twice to ask if I was fired, and finally Keith told me: yes, we’re letting you go. Per the owner’s requests. Cool.

favorite moments of the year: -blue lagoon -sam - arc de triomf -cab - pigalle -party bro - poppy -hallway @ kex

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gaperezmakes · 7 years ago

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Original Fic Fest Day 2 & 3 – Romantic & Non-Romantic Relationships (Black Empire | Iblan Light)

Oof, that’s a title. Anyway, it’s day 3 one of them of @originalficfest and I missed yesterday because I was enjoying a lovely day on the beach with my girlfriend and dogs. The dogs are not fans of waves.

Anyway, I’m gonna condense my Day 2 and 3 posts into one (two, really, but this one is the first one) to try and keep things less cluttered on your end! Hooray!

Anyway, Day 2 is Romantic Relationships day, where you get my Black Empire entry which talks about Synoth and Orvyn. A little background on their relationship:

At this point in my writing, Synoth and Orvyn are not yet in a relationship (mostly because I haven’t figured out how to get them there). They find themselves coming together because they are outsiders. They’re not ostracized--both command the respect and admiration of their subordinates, peers, and superior--but there’s just something that separates them from everyone else (my clichéd vagueness is intentional, as this is revealed in the next book in the Black Empire series).

Eventually, I’ll get to the point where they’re like “Dude, I think I’m like, into you, man. Like, romantically?” “Aw, dude, really? I thought it was just me, bro.” (It will be more eloquent, of course.) And then they have to play the we-are-but-we’re-not-gonna-tell-anybody game (you know the one). And then they’re found out and Dante’s like “Guys, whatever. I’m 300 years old, you don’t think I’ve seen two dudes fall in love before? What do you think this is, some [insert reference here]?” And then he says some Deadpool-esque 4th wall breaking witty thing BECAUSE DANTE IS A FUNNY AND ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL (oh gosh, my bad, that was way more aggressive than I intended).

(Also all of that will be better worded, but I need to get there first.)

Anyway, you’re not here for me talking. You’re here for hot Synoth/Orvyn action! Well, I can’t deliver that, but I can give you this:

Orvyn sat down at his desk, rubbing his eyes. What even was the point anymore? What even were they fighting for anymore? The incident report sat opened, the pictures inside scattered around. It was a brutal scene. A group of paladins had been caught attacking a couple of magi. In their statement, the paladins all said the magi started the altercation, but the magi claimed the attack was unprovoked. The Deathwatch Guardians said they would look into the incident, but the Warriors of Light also wanted to conduct their own investigation. He had just left a joint meeting between him, Ellis, General Trace, and the King. Nobody was happy with this situation.

He heard a knock at his door. “It’s open.”

Synoth peeked his head inside, “You busy?” Orvyn shook his head, still covering his face. Synoth walked up to the desk and noticed the photos. “So you saw that too, huh?” he sighed.

“Yeah,” Orvyn rubbed his scalp. “This is not what I wanted to deal with today.”

“I know,” Synoth walked behind the chair and put his hands on the paladin’s shoulders. “This isn’t even the first time this week.”

“I can’t feel anything through this jacket, and you know that.” He didn’t even try to take it off, shrugging Synoth’s hands away instead. The mage moved to stand by him instead. They looked at the pictures together. “Where did we go wrong?”

Synoth just shook his head, “I have no idea. Everything all seemed so much easier before--well, you know.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, “I just wish the General would trust us to handle this. I feel like we’re only seeing an increase in incidents like these because of their constant interference.”

“I don’t know if it’s the General as much as it is the King,” Synoth picked up one of the pictures of the magi. He winced, “Those are some nasty bruises.”

“I just don’t know what we’re going to do.”

“You’ll do what you do best, love.” Orvyn looked to Synoth, who was smirking, “You show them that you’re the boss for a reason.”

“Sure, the boss,” he rolled his eyes, “At one time, maybe. Now I’m just a glorified doorman.”

“You are not.” Synoth gave Orvyn a serious look, pointing at the rank on his shoulder, “You are Grand Paladin Sigurd Orvyn. I don’t give a damn which high-and-mighty full-of-themselves over-glorified paladin wants to come on down here and say he’s better than you. You were not given these stars and bars--you earned them.”

“They are not over-glorified paladins.”

“I’m gonna be honest: I don’t see much of a difference. My point is that you can’t let them think you’re just as small and insignificant as they are. You’ve stood up for yourself against everyone else on your way to the top. Sure, it turns out another mountain peak was hiding just behind this one, but that’s no reason to think that what you’ve done isn’t amazing.” Orvyn still didn’t look convinced. “I’ll be right back.” Synoth took a step back and with a snap, he was gone.

Orvyn was about to look back at the incident report when Synoth suddenly reappeared and slammed a huge sheet of paper onto his desk. The paladin was startled, but then looked at it. His eyes darted around the intricate details of the divine spell circle. His fingertips ran across its edges. Synoth walked around and pulled up one of his sleeves. The white lines of his (supposedly) temporary tattoos were a stark contrast against his black skin.

“When we went into the past, just before Retribution closed the Gates, do you think any of those people would have believed you if you said that you--an Ancenian--are the Grand Paladin of an Order stationed here in Capital City? No, and why? Because”

“Ancenians can’t be paladins.” They said in unison.

“That’s right. And you know who else would have agreed with them? Every. Single. Paladin. In. This. Army. And you’ve proved them all wrong at every step of the way.” Synoth looked Orvyn dead in the eyes, “You know who didn’t say you couldn’t do this? Iblis of Creation. You weren’t told: ‘Here, give this to somebody else.’ You were told: ‘Do this because I know you can, and you know you can’.” The mage took him by the hands, “Time and time again you forget to believe in yourself. But that’s okay, because even when you can’t, I will.” Synoth held Orvyn’s face for a brief moment, then gave the paladin a light slap on the cheeks.

“Now, get out there, show the Warriors your spine, and show your paladins that you are still the same old boss that they know and--tolerate, really. You’ve come out on top before, you just gotta do it again.”

Yeah, I’m not great with huge, passionate, character-to-character moments. These quiet, intimate moments are more my speed. But that’s okay. If you’re still interested, feel free to keep reading below!

Anyway, now we move into the next day’s prompt: Non-romantic Relationships. For this prompt, I want to focus more on the friendships that get less attention in the books (enemies and rivalries get lots of attention because they’re great for conflict). So for our Iblan Light entry for Day 3, we’ll look at the dynamic between Swift and Cerina. I don’t think there’s ever a moment where these two just hang out with one another. So let’s make that moment!

“HOI!” Cerina jumped up in her seat, yelping as Swift suddenly popped in behind her. She whipped around and tried to punch him, but Swift, ever aware, caught it. He just grinned stupidly at her.

“What--why--how--?” She brought her fist back, taking a second to realize just exactly who was there with her. Cerina looked at her fist, opened it, and opted to slap Swift instead.

“Ow,” Swift rubbed his cheek, “Fair’s fair, I get one next time.”

“I wouldn’t hit you if you didn’t surprise me like that. What are you doing here?” Cerina picked up her chair, which had fallen back.

“I believe your man needs you to babysit me for an hour or two,” Swift sat down on her bed and looked around. Cerina had at least three calendars posted on her wall. Upon closer inspection, there was one for the Union, one for maritime, and one he didn’t recognize, but assumed was local for Uwaye. A small bookshelf was filled with about fifteen thick books, filling the shelf not only side-by-side but stacked on top of each other where they fit. Otherwise, her room was kept fairly neat.

“Where do you keep your clothes?” He asked, noticing there were no dressers in the room.

“In the closet and in the drawers under the bed. What do you mean ‘babysit’?”

“Babysit might be a generous term. I have found myself in a situation that I can’t get myself out of, so Iblis and Dusk have to solve my problem for me.” He frowned and shrugged, “I don’t like it, but I am a little more fragile than they are. It shouldn’t take them too long.”

“So, what do you expect me to do? I have to finish this paper.” Cerina’s desk was full of papers and books, just as thick as the ones on her bookshelf. Several crumpled sheets of paper surrounded the desk.

“On what exactly are you writing about?” Swift picked up an errant paper ball near the bed and opened it up. It was full of crossed out numbers, a scribbled-through chart, and a couple of half-erased drawings.

“Whether it is beneficial to incorporate fertilizers and use magic to boost the growth of plants or, if not, which is better.” She shook her head, “It’s a question we’ve already conclusively answered, but my professor demands we do a lot of first-hand research.” She pointed to four pots sitting on her windowsill. “We’ve been working on this all semester. It’s the biggest paper I’ve had to write all year.”

“If it’s such a waste of time, why are you doing it?”

“Because it’s a huge portion of my grade, and I have this same teacher next semester for a much harder class.”

“Ah, sucking up, I see. It’s a good thing I’m an expert in that.”

Cerina chuckled, “No, I’m taking this class to figure out how she teaches and grades. Plus, it does help that she knows who I am going into her next class.”

“Alright, well if you’re busy, then I want to stay out of your hair. So, tell you what, you take a break for ten minutes. I don’t know how long or hard you’ve been working, but a break can’t hurt. So you take a break, escort me somewhere where I can eat, and just leave me with like 20 Qiiv, or whatever the equivalent is around here.”

“I’ll do you one better since you need somebody to babysit you.”

“Rude. I already said I don’t need babysitting.”

“We will go and eat dinner because I haven’t yet and Iblis has told me multiple times that I need to stop skipping meals.” Swift suddenly stopped her as he grabbed onto her shoulders.

“You’re skipping meals? Is everything okay? Are you doing alright?”

“I’m fine,” she pushed his hands off. “I just get wrapped up in my schoolwork, or actual work, and just kinda push meals aside. I’m not starving myself on purpose.”

Swift just started shaking her instead, “No girl, no! You do not skip meals you need to eaaaat!”

“I. Got. It. We’re. Going. To. Eat.”

“Good.” Swift stopped and walked to her door, “Let’s go!”

“Well give me a second, I have to get dressed.” Cerina was wearing a plain t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants with “SNU” printed on the left leg. “I’m not going out in this.”

“I figured, but I will wait outside.” Swift stepped out. As he looks out from the door, he sees another young woman sitting at a small round table. She was staring at him. He stared at her. He raised a hand nervously, “Hi?”

“INTRUDER. DOGGO, ATTACK!” Suddenly a log that had been laying on a chair sprang to life. It took on the rough facsimile of a dog and pounced on the ground before Swift. Swift, not one to be intimidated, immediately lit his hands on fire. The woman, surprised by the flame from what she assumed was a frost mage, quickly stood up and started casting some kind of spell. The three of them waited in a tense standoff, the air growing hotter in the room.

“Okay, I’m rea--” Cerina opened her door and bore witness to the fight about to break out. She sighed. “You stop,” she shoved Swift aside, ruining his focus and canceling his spell. “You sit,” the dog-log immediately sat down and started mimicking a pant. “And you calm down; he’s with me.” Confused, the young woman also stopped casting her spell. “My boyfriend teleported him here to keep him out of trouble. This is Swift. Swift, Lindsay. We’re going to eat dinner and when I come back, hopefully he will be gone.” She turned to Swift, “Let’s go.”

I’m gonna cut it off there because otherwise it’ll get just kinda long-winded and boring. But I do think I’d like to have more Swift & Cerina fun times. Anyway, that’s it for my first entries for Days 2 and 3. I’ll have Entry 2 (Romance - Iblan Light, Not-Romance - Black Empire) over here if you want to check it out cause you’re a cool person who likes checking things out.

#originalficfest #original fic fest #relationships #romantic relationships #non romantic relationships #day2 #day3

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longislandweekly-blog · 7 years ago

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LI’s wing champs battle for supremacy

Festival cofounders Robert Wittman and Matthew Kourie bring the ultimate championship to Mulcahy’s on July 30.

Things are about to get saucy.

Chicken wing champs from years past will face off for the buffalo battle of the century at the New York Best Wings Fest Ultimate Championships set for Sunday, July 30, at Mulcahy’s Pub. Matt Kourie, cofounder of NY Best Wings Festival, has built a colossal bill of competitors and judges who will converge to decide once and for all, who slings the best wings in New York.

“This is the ultimate championship. Fans who come will eat the best wings on Long Island and we will crown a champion,” said the confident Kourie. “We called on all of our past wing champs to either throw down or chicken out.”

Local wing lords answered the call and so far the combatants include Brews Brothers Grille from Franklin Square, Long Beach’s SwingBelly’s BBQ, Krave It representing Bayside, Queens, L.I. Pour House from Port Jefferson Station, Massapequa’s American Beauty Bistro, Long Beach-based caterer Matty Smokes BBQ and wing chain Wing Zone with more contenders still to be named.

The greatest wing slingers will face off July 30.

Kourie said the “Amaze-Wing” challengers will cross wings in categories including Best Buffalo Wings, Best BBQ Wings, Tastiest Hottest Wing, Best Unique Flavor Wings and Best Dessert Wings.

“The Tastiest Hottest Wing category is super intriguing,” said Kourie. “We’re not looking for wings that will just burn our judges alive, but wings that bring the heat without sacrificing delicious flavor.”

But for those who do want to feel the burn, there will be a Hottest Wing Eating Championship Wingsanity, with craft beer flowing like water throughout the event—to cool down both combatants and wing revelers.

Over the better part of the past decade, Kourie has become a master wing hunter, food follower and libation authority. He has also been a featured judge for numerous wing and food festivals, including the NYC Hot Sauce Expo, The Bacon & Beer Classic, The National Buffalo Wing Festival and many more.

“After all these years of being a wing hunter, I’ve gone through different phases of favorite wings,” he said, adding that he is currently burned out on overly hot wings. “Right now I am a Buffalo Wing purist and some places slinging wings like they do at Duff’s and Anchor Bar in Buffalo include Wander Inn, Press 195 and Charlie Meaney’s in Valley Stream.”

To Kourie’s wing-centric mind, any chicken wing worth having its bone cleaned must have a crisp exterior, juicy interior and a sauce or rub that offers a dynamic savoriness. And while even bad wings can be devoured by the dozen, there are some drab characteristics that can break Kourie’s wing-eating heart.

#gallery-0-5 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-5 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-5 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-5 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

Swingbellys

Wander Inn

Brews Bros

“There are some wings I call ‘Disgust-Wing,’” he said. “These are over-fried and all shriveled up. Also those Costco wings that are big and bulbous with absolutely no flavor.”

And then there’s so-called “boneless wings,” which, according to Kourie, do not truly exist.

“There are no such thing as boneless wings—only chicken nuggets and chicken fingers,” he said. “Now, de-boned wings on the other hand—that’s something you don’t see everyday.”

Kourie said the championship event will be the ultimate wing crawl under one roof and he implores wing aficionados to nab tickets before all are devoured. Tickets range from $30 to $55 and include Wing Lover General Admission all the way to Wing Hunter VIP.

Purchase tickets at www.eventbrite.com/e/ny-best-wings-fest-ultimate-championships-tickets-32179832746.

“The competition is going to be the toughest we’ve ever seen,” said Kourie. “This is the best of the best going head-to-head with fantastic wings. You literally cannot go wrong.”

Long Island Weekly's Steve Mosco talks wings with New York Best Wings Fest Ultimate Championships cofounders Robert Wittman and Matthew Kourie. Find out who will come out on top at Mulcahy's Pub July 30. LI’s wing champs battle for supremacy Things are about to get saucy. Chicken wing champs from years past will face off for the buffalo battle of the century at the New York Best Wings Fest Ultimate Championships set for…

#Chickens

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urbanchristiannews · 7 years ago

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SWITCHFOOT's 13th Annual BRO-AM Beach Fest Raises Over $200K

SWITCHFOOT’s 13th Annual BRO-AM Beach Fest Raises Over $200K

Raising over $200,000 for San Diego Community Youth Initiatives (more…)

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bamf-media · 7 years ago

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Last weekend, Grammy-winning alternative band Switchfoot hosted their 13th annual ‘BRO-AM.’ The beach fest, sponsored by Hurley and iHeartMedia, took place along Moonlight Beach in Encinitas, California. The San Diego natives have been hosting the celebration since 2004, bringing together everyone in the community for over a decade for a day of surfing, contests, live performances, and much more! All proceeds went to organizations supporting local youth initiatives including VH1 Save the Music Foundation, Feeding San Diego, Challenged Athletes Foundation, A Step Beyond, StandUp for Kids, and Rob Machado Foundation.

Switchfoot brought along fellow rockers Jamtown and Lifehouse for a jam-packed beach party. Lifehouse and Switchfoot will also be embarking on tour together starting in July. The day kicked off with the BRO-AM Team Surf Contest and Bro Junior Surf Contest, led by Australian-American surfer Rob Machado. Jamtown opened for Lifehouse, who took the BRO-AM stage at 2:20pm. Their set consisted of several acoustic hits including fan-favorites such as “Halfway Gone,” “All In,” and “Hanging By a Moment.”

Just before Switchfoot took the stage to close out an incredible afternoon, Rob Machado brought up the winners of the contests earlier in the day. Switchfoot drummer, Chad Butler, even made an appearance throughout to congratulate the winners.

Switchfoot kicked off their annual performance with “Hurricane.” “This day isn’t just about us, it’s about all of you. It’s about all of us coming together to give back to our community. You made what today is, we’re just a part of it. Let’s rock!” frontman Jon Foreman stated before jumping into “Meant to Live.” The celebration continued strong, as over 17,000 attendees packed along Moonlight Beach into the VIP pit, to the General Admission area, to along the ocean shoreline. Switchfoot’s 75-minute set included songs such as “Love Alone is Worth the Fight,” “Dare You to Move,” “Float,” and “Where the Light Shines Through.” Several guests made special appearances throughout their set, including contemporary Christian artist Lauren Daigle, VH1 Save the Music Foundation, and Rob Machado during the encore of famed Beatles cover “Get Back.”

For more information on Switchfoot’s annual ‘BRO-AM’, visit http://broam.org/. Switchfoot’s latest album Where the Light Shines Through is available now.

Photos and review by Curtis Vadnais, unless otherwise stated.

#switchfoot #bro am #annual #beach #celebration #iheartmedia #hurley #lifehouse #jamtown #review #curtis vadnais #encinitas #california #moonlight beach #rob machado #lauren daigle

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helloworlddemo1122-yahoopar-blog · 7 years ago

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DeMario Jackson Will Not Be Returning to 'Bachelor in Paradise,' Source Says

brightcove

Production for season four of Bachelor in Paradise may be underway, but will all of the original cast members return to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico?

A source close to DeMario Jackson told ET on Thursday that the reality star will not be back on BIP this season. Production was halted when a producer became uncomfortable during filming and filed a complaint.

WATCH: 'Bachelor in Paradise' Investigation Finds No Misconduct, Will Resume Filming

As for reports that he's seeing a therapist, the source confirms that is true. ET recently spoke with Jackson's lawyer, Walter Mosley, over the phone, who also revealed Jackson was "seeing his doctor's, meditating and just getting well."

"First and foremost, outside of making sure my client is healthy is clearing his name, vindicating him," Mosley explained. "He doesn't need this to be over him, so that's really my focus is clearing his name, [his] reputation."

Warner Bros. announced on Tuesday that they were resuming production on BIP after completing its investigation into the "allegations of misconduct" that occurred on set. After they found no wrongdoing, a source close to Jackson told ET that the 30-year-old was relieved and "just trying to clear his name and move on."

At the time, the production company had no comment on whether the original season four cast members would still appear on the show. However, a cast member source told ET that they "just started getting calls about production resuming and us returning to the show. Producers are calling, [but] they're not saying much, just that more information will follow. We haven't been told dates or locations yet."

WATCH: Robby Hayes Speaks Out About 'Bachelor in Paradise' Resuming Following Allegations of Misconduct

Although it's not confirmed just yet, Robby Hayes, who was originally slated for season four of BIP, told ET that if he receives a phone call, there's a pretty good chance he'd return as long as he can fit it into his schedule. Since being back in the United States he's spent his downtime working on his athleisure line, LeisureLetics, with Chase McNary, who also appeared on Kaitlyn Bristowe's season of The Bachelorette. The two are scheduled to promote the line at a trade show in Las Vegas this weekend.

"I have to see," Hayes explained when he stopped by ET's Los Angeles studio for a Facebook Live interview on Tuesday. "I don't know the timeline. I had scheduled some things now that I'm back in the States. Some stuff with LeisureLetics among other things. But if the call comes, we'll find out."

"I'm not gonna rule it out if they bring [Corinne Olympios and Jackson back to BIP] for some final comments, but I don't think they should [return]," he added.

Another season four original, Vinny Ventiera, also spoke out regarding the news, telling ET in a statement, "I'm glad that things got resolved between the parties that were involved in the situation that shut down production, but I am also sorry that it had to get to this."

"We can now move forward and get back to the beach," the statement continued. "A lot of people second-guess Paradise because they think it is a hook-up fest and you just drink 24/7. In my personal experience, that is not what happens."

Ventiera is no stranger to Paradise, as he also appeared during the show's third season after vying for JoJo Fletcher's heart on The Bachelorette.

WATCH: 'Bachelor in Paradise' Star Vinny Ventiera Excited to 'Get Back to the Beach' After Scandal

"Going on these shows has changed my life tremendously, I learned a lot about myself and learned to actually listen to people and care to take part in conversations, because we don't have cellphones, which seems to be the problem nowadays in life and in dating," he said. "I'm glad to hear that BIP four is back and I am glad to experience and amazing summer with the hard working staff and cast members."

Hear more in the video below.

brightcove

#_revsp:new_provider_with_logo_342 #_lmsid:a0VK0000001yfWcMAI #_uuid:1bf0935e-b18d-3658-bc4f-459808ccc34c

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metalpiratequeen · 7 years ago

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Godformers Chat

Metalpiratequeen

Currently writing up a whole bunch of "meet the godformer" memes. Just got to Lazarette and I'm not sure whether to go with mermaid persona

http://orig04.deviantart.net/b071/f/2012/190/2/7/sea_goddess_by_james_face-d56lstq.png

Entirely made out of water

http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/vsbattles/images/5/5b/Digital_Booklet_-_God_of_War_Blood_7.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160409005113

or giant ass woman

http://www.gameartisans.org/user_uploads/challenges/multiforum/fest-challenges/shawn-zm-142173-fest-challenges-main-image-1377822739.jpg

Deceitfulcharmer

they're all so pretty and perfect ;-;

Vxtum

OMGG SDJKFJKDSFHJKI agree with Katie. ;-; They all look good!

Calypso reminding me of Eris from Sinbad

Deceitfulcharmer

Part of me is a little tempted to take part, but I also know that I wouldn't do anything with it so there's no point asdfghjk

Metalpiratequeen

gently nudges gives us the war/liberator god and blue sky goddess

Vxtum

Could always do what I'm doing? I just made it its separate verse for anytime

Deceitfulcharmer

stop tempting meeeee

that could also work ;-;

Metalpiratequeen

I'm making them seperate verses because I want to keep these going.

Deceitfulcharmer

maybe I'll doodle a couple things when I get home uwu

Vxtum

sdkjhsdfhjk oh god ;-;

-excited for both-

Deceitfulcharmer

I've been practicing muscular males lately so Megatron can be one of my guinea pigs xD

Vxtum

Muscled warlord u-u good, good stuff

Rustedservos

yeah im probs gonna make this a seperate verse also cause i love god formers

Metalpiratequeen

Sweet. Has everyone made a godformer then?

Swordintehswarm

shake head no

Vxtum

Julius says he might make Tetta into a tiny fairy that accompanies Gravitas. (We otherwise are abstaining from Cyclonus, Galvatron, and Scourge having godforms. For Cyclonus, he already has two 'god' verses, and he's from a god in our targetmaster verse. I'm pretty much maxed out with Cyclonus and his herald-self xD)

Metalpiratequeen

Cyclonus-deity whore

But tiny fairy Tetta sounds so cute ;3;

Vxtum

-grins-

Metalpiratequeen

Or an imp. Lazarette sees her as a mischievous I'mp. :p

Swordintheswarm

Fae folk are not nice8'D

Fae folk kill people for fun, no need for imps

Deceitfulcharmer

Grimmjow muse was also very interested in Gravitas' godformers bio, btw uwu

Vxtum

I've no idea if she's a killer. I just know that she puts new flowers in his hair and sleeps in some of the larger blooms strung up on his antlers. She might be nice to him, but for all I know, she could absolutely be this evil thing to everyone else.

omg, was he?? -grins- Come give him a bowl of berries at one of his shrines/alters, and he'll come out to associate with you~

Swordintheswarm

Tetta using Gravitas's antlers to nestle sounds adorable asf

Vxtum

He's a greedy fuck. You leave him an offering, he's there

Swordintheswarm

But I am too cautious about actual medieval fairies to try to approach if it were rl xD

Deceitfulcharmer

when you start thinking of your OC in godformers AU but end up accidentally dragging another two of your OCs into it alongside her ;-;

I started with goddess of wind and rain and now I've ended up with god of thunder and goddess of lightning too

Swordintheswarm

Loool, ikr

MetalPirateQueen

Weather deities!

Deceitfulcharmer

be nice to them or they will flood your village, or start a fire. whatever they feel like

Swordintheswarm

I want to do godformer bug but I’m procrastinating

Vxtum

It took me, like, four days to complete the "meet the godformer" thing, so don't feel bad u-u

Metalpiratequeen

What does my Godformer wear? ....nothing

Vxtum

Instantly the most popular among their peers

Deceitfulcharmer

I'm thinking Electron's Godformer can't/doesn't ever touch the ground, instead hovering on a breeze

Vxtum

I haven't decided yet that when Gravitas takes human form, if he bothers 'magicking' clothes onto himself. He feels like the sort of uncivilized guy to walk around, naked and proud. "Your cultural's obsession with the need to hide the beauty of one's body is not welcome in my presence. I will not humour it."

omg, Katie

Metalpiratequeen

Maybe Electron is a breeze. Like a literal wind with a human outline.You could see a whirlwind inside her. Or a hurricane

Deceitfulcharmer

I was going to go for super flowy clothes but that sounds so beautiful too ;-;

Metalpiratequeen

(Also be warned. LS is a demigod going around demanding quests from gods, Hercules style, so she may obtain godhood and finally meet her father, the god of time. While Lazarette is a vengeful god who hates humans for occupying her domain and rarely ever joins in on deity affairs and politics. Haven't quite decided where the bros stand. Might make Oil Slick a satyr.

Deceitfulcharmer

Megatron sits around, counting down the days until the next war when he's suddenly needed again xD

Metalpiratequeen

God of war gets a lot if holidays xD

Deceitfulcharmer

I have two big questions: 1. How buff do I make him and 2. How much of it do I actually bother to cover with armour

Vxtum

Gravitas actually enjoys humans, preferring to be in the forest, watching them/helping them/revealing himself to them than hanging around the Ethereal Realm (Olympus/Heaven/whatever LOL)), so he pretty much skimps out on most festivities and politics. But fuck, LS. ;-; I love that take you did. It gives her such a good reason to interact with any god she comes across. Fuck, I can't wait to see, man xD

LOL, Katie. Conan arms!

Metalpiratequeen

Go the opposite route and give Megs as little armour as possible. Hell, how about an old collesium match where he battles butt naked!

Deceitfulcharmer

CHARL xD

Vxtum

lmao, I actually agree about the naked part. If you gotta go to war naked to startle the enemy, then more reason to!

Deceitfulcharmer

all these naked gods, how scandalous <3

Metalpiratequeen

They're gods. All they do is fight and have sex anyway.

Deceitfulcharmer

...you have a very good pointwhy not do both at once and save time?

Metalpiratequeen

(Normal verse: Gravitas and Lazarette have a ton of sex. Godformer au: Gravitas and Lazarette have a ton of sex. Only now with bestiality)

Vxtum

Horse cock

Well, not really. Maybe I should still give him his double-cock. Sounds like a god-thing. So fertile he's got two

Decetifulcharmer

yes, give him the double dick

Metalpiratequeen

Well, fish don't really have holes, so they're kinda at a crossroad here. Unless she can also have human legs.

OMG XD

Vxtum

lmao

Metalpiratequeen

My poor girl. Gravitas could only frack her valve as a robot, but now he can actually double penetrate her xD

Vxtum

"CHANGE TO YOUR HUMAN FORM!"

"NO, YOU CHANGE TO SOMETHING ELSE!"

"HOW CAN WE MATE IF WE'RE INCOMPATIBLE? I AM NOT DRY HUMPING YOU, WOMAN."

Metalpiratequeen

LMAO

Already married.

Swordintheswarm

Omfg xD

Vxtum

Everyone hears the argument and just rolls their eyes. Another day as all-powerful gods; another fight between two vastly proud deities, refusing to change form for the other as they try to figure out a solution to have sex

Deceitfulcharmer

-Megatron sits and waits for it to turn into a war-

Vxtum

lmao

So he can come charging it, naked and swords drawn (not just two in this case)

Deceitfulcharmer

His third sword, this time

Vxtum

-pictures Gravitas, mad at Lazarette, exiting a forest to the beach line, and just stomps his hooves and splashes and kicks at the water, knowing it's her domain-

Tailblinking

"Fish pee in you- all day! So... hmph"

Thanks Moana

Vxtum

Ahah!

http://drxgonfly.tumblr.com/post/158552991127/90377-early-rays-by-thomas

- for God!Gravitas

Deceitfulcharmer

Electron is friends with all birds, but her animal form would be a peregrine falcon <3

Aaaahh beautiful forest ;v;

Vxtum

that's awesomeI can even see her in the design of that bird (had to google that xD)

Metalpiratequeen

Beautiful sky goddess ;_;

LS is gonna pester her for a quest. (Or at the very least a free ride)

Deceitfulcharmer

It's an unintentional likeness but I run with it xD

please do <3

Swordintheswarm

Welp now I wanna godformer too

Metalpiratequeen

(Lazarette brings s tidal wave down on Gravitas)

Good!Please join us!

Swordintheswarm

Oh my god 8'D

What do I have to do, I mean I’m not really gonna do anything with it for the event but maybe to keep it as au

Unifyingspark

Clearcut should be the god/protector of orphaned or abandoned kids. Since he has that in his history, poor baby

Swordintheswarm

He's more of a knight than insect, so maybe god of honor instead. God of honor AND insects maybe xD

True LOL

Unifyingspark

honor would do, he is all about the honor

Swordintheswarm

He should take after traits of herbivore insects that fight each other for mates

Aka rhino and stag beetles, and earwigs. Maybe something else

In any case bugs known to 'duel for honor' :'D

Unifyingspark

*huge grin

Vxtum

// lmao.. Lazarette. Coughing, sputtering stagtaur, hair all over his face as he curses her name(edited)

Swordintheswarm

Lol, just this huge rhino beetle with earwig cerci, gilded in gold and jewels. Maybe give him a humanoid face but otherwise he's just a massive damn beetle pursuing evildoers....kind of like khepri from smite, actually

Unifyingspark

sounds gorgeous

Deceitfulcharmer

-gets home in an hour- -really wants to draw her godformers- ;-;

Swordintheswarm

https://images.discordapp.net/.eJwVw1EOwiAMANC7cAAqBTvYAfxXT0AYYTObJbT7Mt7d-JL3MefYzWxW1S4zwLJJ4bFYUR65VduY215z38QWPiCr5rIe9a0C6Mml6K8YIhGhCwEw4XT592miEBMS4P10j-fNvnoz3x__GiHw.5lbRwsqv-Aa3GwbsbG8upq2O3HM?width=728&height=456

Just add browns to that and earwig cerci, and pretty close

Vxtum

I love how the gods could so easily be interconnected and know one another (or know about one another)? CC and his insects in Gravitas' forests; the forest lining against Lazarette's oceans; Electron the air they breathe, the wind that carries in the rain from Lazaratte's seas to Gravitas' forests, to give nourishment for the insects (both as water and healthy foliage to eat) CC's insects are what keep the ecosystem of the forests thriving and healthy

Deceitfulcharmer

They also feed Electron's bird friends <3

Metalpiratequeen

Everything is connected. Hence why most gods are related. It would be nice that each one keeps an eye on the other. Like Electron flying over Lazarette’s domain, keeping watch. Or communicating which each domain’s animals just to hear what is going on

Vxtum

-grins- Always getting into disputes with one another, too. Domain rivalries

Unifyingspark

*throws tiny fairy Tettares around Gravitas' antlersthere's my contribution

Metalpiratequeen

“Your ocean is submerging my land!”

“Well, the ice is stealing my water!”

“Well, the ice is killing my insects!”

Deceitfulcharmer

Omg yes, if she flooded the forest or her trine mate set fire to it with her lightning ;-;

Swordintheswarm

Omg yes. Theres so much capacity for interaction and strife

Vxtum

oh my god, I'm sure CC and Gravitas would be so angry if a forest caught fire 'cause of a lightening strike.

Swordintheswarm

THEY WOULD

Vxtum

And then they'd be snarling at Electron, "IT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HAD BROUGHT MORE RAIN FROM THE SEAS" Then they're off courting their Champions to then go to war and 'win' against the champions of the Electron and her trine mates. That's how they ultimately settle disputes. Bringing in mortals'cause they're immortal so nothing gets settled. In comes LS

Deceitfulcharmer

Megatron rubbing his hands in the distance. Yes good, he's been waiting for a good war

Vxtum

Oh man, that would awesome. When they all fucked up when they wake up the God of War

Metalpiratequeen

I'm pretty sure all Olympus meetings are just awkward family reunions where the father and mother god tell their kids to grow up...and as an opportunity to show off their new Demi-god offspring. "Look it's a nominator!” “Well, mine’s a Cyclops.” “Mine are daemon.” “Mines a kraken.”

Deceitfulcharmer

Gives help to whoever gives him the best offerings

Metalpiratequeen

(Now I can't stop imagining LS wielding a giant axe and running into batlle. "I will vanquish the evil naked war god and finally shed my human shell!!!”

Unifyingspark

Galvatron is proud. *hands her his axe* "You can borrow this for now but give it back or Cyclonus will be cross."// or cyclonus will gives me sucha frown

Metalpiratequeen

gladly accepts the battle axe..and instantly collapses under its weight.

Cyclonus of Tetrahex-Today at 5:47 PM

// Make me think of the comment I made a while back, now that it's so relevant to all this god stuff; Galvatron a war god, Scourge and Cyclonus his Valkyries

lmao Charl

This fantastic demigod everyone wants her as their champion. They see that fire in her

Unifyingspark

Galvatron winces and picks her up, "There, there, you will endure."

Metalpiratequeen

Meanwhile Maccadam, her deadbeat dad is seeing every possible future and drinking himself plastered. "Daughter. Please, stop."

Vxtum

I think Gravitas' trial to become his champion ultimate leads to them to hunt /him/; 'cause I wanted that in his bio. That he welcomes the bravest hunter coming to take his antlers as the trophy

Metalpiratequeen

*Intrigued mortal noises.*

No sweetie. No. There are easier trials.

Vxtum

lmaoI haven't decided if he would use his magic or not (like those who cheat often in the greek lore, making the trials /so/ much harder). I like to think he would put away his signalling horn and broadsword. He /makes/ himself the prey. But he keeps his dagger

Metalpiratequeen

LS gets her offering list out. "Alright then. Skinned fur from a successful hunt? Check. Vanilla scented candles. Check. Bowl or berries mixed with chunks of red meat from successful hunt? Check. Night if untamed passion and dominance?...where's auntie Lazarette when you need her?"

Vxtum

LMAO I can already hear her balking at the request. Not wanting to lie down with a flea-bitten, dirty man-deer

Metalpiratequeen

Well, not twice in one week. XD

Vxtum

LOLOH GOD, LOL

-tries to shut him up- He's just smirking and crossing his arms, a hoof pawing idly at the ground. "Back for more already?"

Metalpiratequeen

*throws a squid at him*

Vxtum

lmao

Metalpiratequeen

She loves him really.

Vxtum

-grins- That feeling is absolutely mutual

Metalpiratequeen

Oil Slick is gonna be a god of decay. :3 wearing his goat skull and cloaks. A satyr, and loving all things that rot and grow fungus.

Vxtum

Holy shit. All of the fantastic aestheticism I can already picture ;-; He's easily going to be the prettiest god to me

Unifyingspark

I was just gonna say, well Oil Slick hits all my spots, so I'm sold

Metalpiratequeen

Normal verse Oil Slick would greatly disapprove of his nonchalant to hygiene. His flower symbol is a mushroom (and he also might delve in hallucinations and acid trips xD) He's gonna love a potential war. So many bodies dropping to the floor. So much disease and death

Vxtum

http://babyanimalgifs.tumblr.com/post/158131529309/his-first-attempt-at-howling

If he enjoys everything decay, maybe one of his offerings could be the Corpse Flower xDLure that god down with the beautiful smell of nasty(edited)

Unifyingspark

Pup reminds me of baby Gravitasalso when I look at that puppy I think "cute" and then I think "pain in my ass"

Vxtum

LOL.. when he tries to roar for the first time in his beastmode?

Unifyingspark

he prolly has a lot of vocalizations though I believe his twin wins out on that. voidmonster who somehow is translated into fairy god.

Vxtum

-grins-His little fairy sister ;-;

Unifyingspark

God of nagging

Vxtum

LOLGravitas scowling and waving his hand at her, like she's a fly when she's nagging him

Metalpiratequeen

"Hey, listen. Hey, listen. Hey, listen."

Vxtum

lmao

Unifyingspark

Tiny glowing ball trying to talk to Lazarette, fish jumps out of water and eats her thinking she's a glowbug. Gravitas standing on the shore, all color leaves his face, "GAH!"

Vxtum

OH godGravitas, eyes wide, galloping frantically into the water. "Veritas!"

Explodes on Lazarette when he manages to capture the fish and free her; cuddling her close as he barks, "CONTROL YOUR BLOODTHIRSTY FAUNA!"

Unifyingspark

"Where does she live?"

"On my head, pretty much."

Metalpiratequeen

Currently on the other side of the world, Lazarette projects a watery image of her head rising out from the ocean, "Get off my lawn."

Vxtum

LMAO

Unifyingspark

God she seriously could live on his head, he could hang a small lantern-style object from an antler like jewerly, when he has to do anything serious, takes her tiny house from him and hangs it on a tree, comes back for her later.

Vxtum

.. omgThat's perfect!

Unifyingspark

she's pretty much the forest gossip queen, collects all the dirt and going-ons, then brings all the chatter back to him

Swordintheswarm

Oh my god

Vxtum

He already has all kinds of other things thrown across his antlers. That would be /perfect/ ;-;"Who is talking shit about me today, sister? Whose people shall I starve today as punishment?"

Unifyingspark

xD I love it

Swordintheswarm

has a mental image of somebody putting festive flags or christmas tree-esque ornaments all over his antlers. There is even a star over his skull. Bloody murder is screamed. It's a bad time to be a mortal in the forest.

Vxtum

LMAO

that would be hilarious

Entire nearby village endures the god's wrath

#[Chat]#[long post]#I finally found this!#au: godformers #I know it doesn't look like it #but an attempt was made to shorten this post!#deceitfulcharmer #vxtum #unifyingspark #swordintheswarm #oh god I wanna bring this back #;-;

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