#Brit stuff

[lunastarhawk]

Adding 'anticyclonic gloom' to my personal mood tracker.

[cyberr-v0id]

Ant and Dec are not humans, they are chaos entities sent to keep the bbc and Simon cowell from becoming too evil, and Stevan Mullhern is their earthly lackey

[moltenhare]

Saw Easter edits 🐣🪺

[cowardlykrow]

Owen → Cringe gays [affectionate] → Wife

[cowboy au]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[wundrousarts]

Any Nevermoor fans in Adelaide??? I am desperate to know what Jess might mention about Silverborn at the Adelaide Festival 😭😭😭

[mizgnomer]

David Tennant - presenting at the Brit Awards in 2017

for Tennant Tuesday (or whatever day this post finds you)

photo from the David Tennant Asylum

[chaoticlandworlder]

Legit so disgusting how so many ppl are jumping at the chance to criticise Max. In the past few days, I've seen so many social media comments calling him names like 'brat', 'manchild', 'immature' etc. + belittling his racing skills.

So many ppl are also completely spinning their own narrative, acting as if Max is the only driver to ever be heated up during a high-adrenaline race. According to them, Schumi, Senna, Lewis etc. have never lost their cool and always take the blame for every single incident. (Note: this is NOT a hate post ok- any driver examples I use is just to show the hypocrisy of these ppl. I mentioned these drivers cuz it's based off genuine comments I saw.)

First of all, Max had every reason to be upset during the race. The major Hungary updates RBR had been hinting at for weeks underwhelmed (don't give me the 'it's still fast anyway'- this is F1. Every driver and team expects their car to be the fastest, not just fast. If you don't understand that, you don't get the point of F1- an engineering competition. Also RBR has been struggling with the same kerbs issue since 2022.), with Max struggling with various issues during the race.

Additionally, the strategy was not great; Max gave the 1st pitstop decision a pass, but then they repeated it for the 2nd pitstop. RBR was hoping that the tyre delta would salvage the race but c'mon, Christian Horner admitted after the race that they got the data wrong and miscalculated how fast they needed to gap the others cars per lap to overtake. From Max's pov, RBR repeated the mistake of the 1st pitstop, allowing him to be undercut again, by both Lewis and Charles, dropping him back to 5th when he started 3rd, on a track known to be hard to overtake. Furthermore, this race was more a race of undercutting than actual on-track overtakes; one prominent example that showed the power of the undercut in this race was Lando, who was stuck behind Oscar for the vast majority of the race. Yet once they undercut Oscar, Lando ended up 3s+ ahead of Oscar, with the gap increasing to ~5s+ as the laps went on, with Oscar unable to catch up. To make matters worse, Max had told the team that undercutting was impt BEFORE the race. Finally, I love GP (Max's race engineer) but honestly they were just antagonising each other during the race. The most obvious example was the sarcastic remark of 'some gentle introduction' after Max did a fast outlap so that he could catch Charles and Lewis, which just made Max even more frustrated. After which, there was literally radio silence for 15 mins, no communication of modes, gaps etc. Max himself mentioned after the race that it did not help that instead of being a calming presence, they (presumably RBR, including GP) did not listen to him and even argued with him. So this mixture of the team not listening to him, repeating the same mistake twice, underwhelming upgrades and poor communication on the radio contributed to Max frustrations in the car. (Oh but according to crofty (sky sports) it's cuz Max did not get his beauty sleep despite Max having followed his standard sleep schedule. Because sleep outranks good strategy and the best car in F1. 🤡 Kids these days and their simracing.)

Could Max have been more polite? Ideally, ig. But GP too was confrontational when he should have been trying to resolve the issues with Max. Was Max wrong in terms of calling out the strat? No. Also, it's so easy for ppl to judge, lazing on their couch. This is a high adrenaline sport for goodness sake, with millions of dollars on the line and millions of people watching their every move. Randos get pissed off at a slow moving vehicle on a normal road; imagine how it would be to be a racing driver going at ~200mph, with the expectations of the team, fans etc. weighing down on you.

Some are arguing that Red Bull generally does well so Max has no right to be upset. Lol. Idk how ppl don't get it into their heads that this is a SPORT. In every sport, any top performing athelete and team knows that every single match/race/point etc matters. You're not there to say "Oh we've won in the past so let's just throw away some games". You're always there to deliver your best. With this kinda logic, Lewis should also have no right to be upset/disappointed with Mercedes cuz didn't they deliver him a championship winning car for years? Idk lmao this particular line of logic is so weird.

I've also seen so many people saying things along the lines of "Max always complains", "Max can't win without the car"- a really weird one considering one only has to look at the recent races to debunk that, "Max blames everything on the team" etc. Be so fr literally every driver 'complains'. A notable case was Austria 2023, where Toto had to come on the race to tell Lewis to 'just drive the car' because he kept going on about it in multiple races last year. Most of the time they're just giving feedback. When they're genuinely 'complaining', it's often cuz they've been screwed over by their own team. See some cases just in this race alone: Alex on the indecisive tyre choice by Williams, Daniel on the screwed up strat by by VCARB. Max wasn't even wrong about the strat. The comment that 'Max blames everything on the team/ When everything goes well it's him, when it doesn't it's the team' is so laughable because if there is one driver on the grid that is consistent in thanking his team and rarely himself, it's Max. You literally just have to see the previous race, Silverstone 2024 where he could've easily said him making all the right calls to pit was essential to getting P2 in the end. Instead, he gave the credit to the team. He's also quick to apologise when he's in the wrong. See Spa quali 2023 after his outburst in Q2. Or when he bought ice cream for GP a few years back to apologise. Also idk where ppl get the idea Max treats his team like shit? Time and time again, people who worked with him have mentioned how they love working with him. For this particular weekend, he literally treated the team to dinner the night before the race but these ppl will never talk about that. What's said on the radio is in the heat of the moment, which ALL the drivers have done. And Max wasn't wrong either; maybe ideally he would have conveyed it nicer, but again, they're all pumped up on adrenaline.

As for the incident, it wasn't even that bad? It looked bad cuz the wheels touched, making Max's car fly up + cuz it was btwn Max and Lewis, certain 'fans' immediately jumped into their hate frenzy. Idk I find it so weird that people keep harping on about it when Lewis said immediately after the race that it was a racing incident. (Those clowns trying to liken Max to Alonso in Austria 2024 need to rewatch the collisions instead of looking at static pictures is all I can say lol cuz Alonso's was straight up a T-bone while Max-Lewis was a wheel bang.) And anyway, ALL drivers get into incidents no matter their accomplishments (Lewis in Monza 2023, Charles hitting Lando in fp this year, Carlos-Oscar in Miami 2024 etc.). The narrative that Max gets into incidents more than the other drivers is just untrue. In fact, this brings me to my next point. The moment Max is half of any incident, regardless of whether he is at fault, so many scumbags immediately completely trash him like a bunch of rabid dogs. For example, Max-George last year at Las Vegas 2023, where Max was not at fault at ALL; George even admitted he wasn't looking in his mirrors. Or Lap 1 Turn 1 of that same race, where ppl to this day are shitting on Max for 'pushing' Charles off-track- when there was literally an oil spill on his grid spot before the race, making that side slippery despite efforts to clean it up, with others like Alonso and Carlos spinning at the same point Max 'pushed' Charles. His onboard then even showed he tried to steer in but the car didn't budge. Besides, he got a penalty that slowed him down a lot (when Lap 1 Turn 1 incidents don't usually get a penalty- idk how ppl can think the FIA favours him lmfao- and no matter what the haters who prob didn't even watch the race said; serving the penalty in the pitstop dropped Max much further back than just swapping positions would have) AND he apologised to Charles right after the race (but noooo he never takes the blame).

The hate ppl have for Max (and tbh, some other drivers) is honestly quite alarming and weird. Like, these grownass ppl are hating on a 26 year old at the top of his game lol. It doesn't help that the media (especially the British media) feeds, if not started, this hatred frenzy. Just see Austria this year, where the media and 'fans' completely blew the incident between Max and Lando out of the water, only for multiple current and ex F1 drivers to call them out on their bs lmao. Again, for Austria 2024, Lando and Max spoke after the race too. But it doesn't fit their narrative so these ppl will never bother to mention this.

Slight tangent but for ppl who try to justify it by saying 'oh it's how it is cuz Max is dominating'- I understand where yall are coming from (see Seb 2013 lol), but the hatred for Max is particulary overwhelming because there are much more fans now, mainly due to DTS and consequently, F1 becoming popular/more popular on social media platforms like TikTok, Twitter etc. As such, Max is arguably facing higher levels of vitrol, since DTS didn't exactly favour him (understatement of the year lol) and many fans who 'watch' F1 through social media just jump on the hate bandwagon without actually watching races/fact-checking. This is worsened by how the media (mainly the Brit media) jumps at every opportunity to put Max down. Sky Sports in particular, being the main broadcast for most fans, often feeds this hate (esp if David Croft or Ted Kravitz is speaking). Finally, all this is only worsened by how social media allows this hate to circulate much more quickly and widely.

lol sry for the rant but gosh it gets tiring seeing the toxicity of so many F1 'fans'.

[skitskatdacat63]

"Arrogant, ruthless, and by all reports (including his own) utterly charming."

(I don't know why I drew this but please take Revolutionary War British officer George, I think it suits him, okay!!!)

+ George Russell the type of guy to t-pose in front of rebels

+ the usual

Okay first of all, process, as always:

I drew this in one day hahaha....Actually really fun! I haven't finished anything in almost a month, and haven't painted for even longer, so I'm kinda dying at the fact that 18th century George Russell got me motivated 😭 Sometimes when painting, I realize I have free will and can actually just start painting over the lineart, and that's the best moment of every drawing process 🙏

Also I'm very proud of his face!!! I've said before, but art progression is such a weird thing. You'll keep repeating to your self "I'm no good at [insert art thing.]" And then randomly realized you can in fact do it. That's me with drawing real people's faces 😭 I'm just so shocked I got his face pretty good in one try!!!

Okay about the pose and quote. God its so fun to misappropriate quotes for my own evil deeds. Both of these are from this one officer from the Revolution: Banastre Tarleton. Idk, I randomly saw his painting in a history video, and it's stuck in my mind ever since. And then yesterday, bcs I spent a lot of time looking at George, I'm like "hey you know what he kinda reminds me of-" and thus we have this.

I just found that quote about him from some historian to be funny, so I put it as a caption, as I would with Napoleon. This won't be an AU by any means but. I think if George was in the Revolution, he'd be the most stereotypical, evil British villain in American media type guy ever. And Tarleton is kinda that guy tbh, to the point where him and others like Arnold Benedict are the poster boys of evil Revolution guys. He even has a mocking nickname! "Bloody Tarleton/Ban", very "Osama bin Russell," no? 😭

Some notable moments from Tarleton's campaign that I think fit George: Apparently killed a bunch of American soldiers after they surrendered, making sure everyone was dead(😭😭), threatened to burn an American general's house down to make him surrender and then took him hostage, went toe to toe with George Washington himself and Washington even taunted him and Tarleton got a shot in, has a helmet named after him(very slayful.)

[girluimfailing]

yall when morally ambiguous people don't do only good stuff but also do bad stuff:

[lunastarhawk]

Perhaps.

[shadessallow]

SNEAK PEAK OF THE THING I'M MAKING :33

Also a headcanon!

Brit borrowed Mallick's copy of SURVIVE (signed obv) and read it whole

But not because she respects Bobby in any way, or because she agrees with the premise of the book

But because she sees that it's important for Mallick and she wants to check it out

And inside she discovers that he actually has been highlighting and marking the things that he found important

And scribbled some exclamation marks to parts he found really important

Occasionally some small notes

And she basically reads it twice, the second time purely to understand his perspective of surviving the trap...

HEAR ME OUT UGHHH

[iconsdlipa]

[thetarttfuldickhead]

Roy wakes, fully hard and – two seconds later, when the details of the dream return to him – fully panicked.

Fuck.

---

It’s not like he’s never had sex dreams before. Come on. But none of them had featured men (except that weird one about Lee Pace in a banana costume and that hadn’t left him so much turned on as thoroughly confused) and abso-fucking-lutely not a single one of them had starred Jamie Tartt.

Jamie Tartt, who is now standing right in front of him in the dressing room, saying something about football something something, right Coach, something free kicks, and all Roy can think about is how he now has a very vivid idea of what those lips would look like when wrapped around his cock.

Jamie pushes a strand of hair of out of his eyes. They look grey now; in Roy’s dream they were green-tinting-towards-brown and heavy-lidded with lust as Roy had pushed him back on the bed— 

Roy can’t stand it. Except one very specific part of him apparently can and no, no, fuck no, he’s not doing this. Without a word he turns on his heel and walks away, ignoring Jamie’s surprised objection.

Fuck.

---

Training is a nightmare.

The only way Roy can get through it at all is by not sparing Jamie a single glance. (Jamie running, dribbling, shooting; Jamie turning and twisting, as graceful as water; Jamie with hair damp with sweat and calling out to the others with that eager voice that had called out Roy’s name last night.) It’s really fucking difficult, though, because he’s used to always keeping at least half an eye on Jamie these days, no matter what else is going on. Besides, the prick’s everywhere, rushing around the pitch like the fucking Duracell Bunny on speed. Roy clearly made a huge mistake ever pushing him towards the heights of endurance because the little shit just. won’t. stop. 

Roy’s attempts at avoidance don’t go unnoticed, either. He can feel the eyes of Beard and Nate on him; can see the way the other players look from him to Jamie and mutter among themselves. 

He makes them run suicides until they collapse just to shut them up and when Jamie is the only one still on his feet Roy tells Beard that oh fuck, he has a really important meeting he needs to go to right now, he fucking forgot about it and now he’s running late, could Beard and Nate finish this up please, and of course Roy doesn’t flee from the pitch because Roy Kent doesn’t fucking flee from anything. He walks off rather hurriedly, sure, but that’s just to properly sell the lie of the meeting he’s in a rush to. 

“Yeah, something is definitively up with him and Jamie,” he hears Beard mutter to Nate as he walks off.

Fuck.

---

He withdraws to the supply cupboard where he’s not likely to be disturbed, or found. He’s not hiding, obviously; he just needs a few moments to himself, to gather his wits. He’d drive home, except he actually does have a meeting with Rebecca in a couple of hours, and she is the one person he daren’t piss off. Not because she’s terrifying – although she can be, a fact that Roy respects immensely – but because she’ll know that something is off if he doesn’t show and unlike everyone else she has both the guts and the capacity to force it out of him.

In a farcical turn of events, which he entirely blames on Dr. Sharon (and maybe also on Keeley and Jamie a little, for their absurd and sometimes infectious tendency towards emotional honesty), Roy thinks that maybe he wouldn’t mind talking to someone about this. Maybe it would… help? Give him some perspective on things? 

Problems is, there’s no one he can talk to, is there? Jamie is right out, for obvious reasons, and while this would probably be right up the Diamond Dogs’ alley, there’s no fucking way Roy is telling his fellow coaches and the club’s director of football operations about having a wet dream about the team’s star player. Apart from the utter mortification of it, it’s hardly fair on Jamie, having almost all his bosses discuss him like that. Even if it’s not the real Jamie they’d be discussing, really, just the very bendable and delightfully masochistic Jamie that’s taken shameless residence in Roy’s battered mind. 

He can’t talk to Rebecca, for the same reason, even though he’s pretty sure she’d be able to say something clever enough and cutting enough that he’d snap right out of whatever the hell this is. Maybe she’d declare him clinically insane and unfit for duty and have him carted off to an asylum or some shit, and as much as that would suck it’d be a bit of a relief, honestly. At least he wouldn’t near twist his neck off his shoulders trying to avoid looking at Jamie. 

Jamie would probably come and visit him, the fucking arsehole.

And Roy can’t talk to Keeley, either, because even though she’s probably the best person to bring this to and the person he’d most like to talk to, she’s been clear about having no interest in sorting Roy and Jamie’s shit out for them. Besides, he doesn’t want to somehow give her the idea that he’s over her. He’s not. He had a pretty wild dream about her just the other week, and—

For a brief moment, he’s assailed by the image of Keeley and Jamie tangled on Roy’s mattress, looking up at him with twin smiles and—

In spite of the cupboard being rather chilly, Roy starts to sweat. Desperately, he crosses his legs and forces his mind back to the time when he took a chug of orange juice only for it to be egg yolk and he nearly threw up. 

It doesn’t really help. He’s still turned on, only now he’s feeling sick too. 

He could talk to Dr. Sharon, he guesses, but Dr. Sharon is travelling southern France for the rest of the week.

Roy won’t last that long.

Fuck. 

--- 

The door to the cupboard is pulled open with enough force to almost startle Roy off of the bucket he’s sat on. 

“All right, what the fuck’s going on, man?” Jamie demands, without even having the decency to look surprised at finding Roy hiding hanging out among the mops and micro fibre cloths. “Did you hit your head and forget the last two years or something?”

“Of course not,” Roy mutters, determinedly not looking up from the computer precariously balanced on his lap.

“Then why the fuck are you ignoring me? The lads all think I did something really bad!” There’s a plaintive note in Jamie’s voice, reminding Roy of the noises dream-Jamie had made when Roy— 

Roy closes his eyes. He can’t go on like this. He’s pretty sure that if he could just get a day or two – three or four tops, absolutely no more than five – away from Jamie, away from these constant reminders, the details of the dream would fade away, and his desire with it – but they have a game the day after tomorrow, so that’s not going to happen, and he can’t keep avoiding Jamie until then. It’d be bad for the team – not to mention that he can’t really stomach the hurt he hears in Jamie’s voice.

Nothing for it, then. Fuck it all to hell.

“I had a sex dream,” he grits out, carefully looking to the doorframe right next to Jamie’s face, so that he can catch Jamie’s reactions without having to look him in the eye.

Jamie doesn’t react much, just cocks his head to the side. “You had a sex dream about me?”

“Did I say it was about you, you muppet?!” Conceited prick.

“Uh, no, but it was? You wouldn’t be all weird about it if wasn’t.” Trust Jamie to always choose the worst moments to be insightful and reasonable. He’s doing it just to be contrary, Roy’s sure of it. 

Jamie’s watching him expectantly, as if believing Roy will elaborate or explain further. Roy doesn’t say a word. Roy is busy stonily inspecting a small speck of dirt on the wall next to Jamie’s face.

Eventually, Jamie lets out a long sigh and rolls his eyes. “Fine. What’s the big deal then?” 

Now Roy’s eyes snap to Jamie’s face, because what the hell? “What do you mean, what’s the big deal? You don’t think it’s a little weird and really fucking uncomfortable that I, Roy Kent, had a sex dream about you, Jamie Tartt? I’m your fucking coach! We’re friends!”

Jamie makes a face, like Roy’s being the insane one. “Roy, mate, you’ve seen the wall in my old bedroom. Bunch of half-naked girls and you, right? You never did the math on that?” 

Roy has, in fact, never done the math on that. Hasn’t realize there as math to do. “You were impressed by my prowess as a football player,” he tries feebly.

Jamie rolls his eyes. “Um, yeah. Which is hot.”

“… oh.”

Roy doesn’t know what else to say to that. Doesn’t know how to feel about that. Hasn’t the faintest idea about how to even begin to process it.

Jamie is watching him with a small frown. He looks concerned, pitying almost, which makes Roy want to go throw himself in the Thames more than anything else in this discussion has.

“So,” Jamie says eventually, speaking slowly, like he’s trying very hard to find the right words, “all these years and you never once figured that this whole thing we’ve got going, all this fucking tension, that it was… you know… just a little bit sexual?”

“No.”

“What, never?”

“No.” 

“That’s fucking mental, man.” Jamie looks like he doesn’t know whether to be incredulous or impressed. Then his eyes widen. “Ooh, is this because men getting with other men was illegal when you were a kid back in the dark ages? They burned people alive and shit, so you’re, like, repressed and stuff?”

Roy is about to bite his head off for pulling out fucking stupid ha ha you’re so old jokes now, except there’s something in Jamie’s eyes giving him the distinct impression that maybe Jamie is deliberatedly being a prick, doing it for Roy’s sake, trying to offer him a sense of normalcy or something, and that’s actually quite sweet, isn’t it? Only that thought has Roy’s heart doing something weird and stupid, so actually no, back to Jamie just being a prick.

“We’re in love with Keeley,” he says, and he means for it to be gruff, but it comes out pleading more than anything else.

“Yeah, I know.” Jamie sounds exasperated. “None of this means we ain’t. Fucking hell, mate, tension’s just tension, yeah, no need to fucking act on it if you don’t want to. And dreams are just dreams. I’m mad fit, you see me running around doing impressive shit all day, course you’re gonna dream about me, be weirder if you didn’t. Bet half the team do the same, anyway. It doesn’t have to mean anything.” Jamie crosses his arms, and looks as serious and decisive as Jamie ever does. “Listen, Coach, we’re playing West Ham this Saturday, and you need to stop being weird about this and start coaching me and not freak everyone out.”

Roy doesn’t ask him what Jamie think he’s been trying to do all day. Not his fault Jamie’s been right there, all pretty eyes and strong thighs and distracting lips and shit. But he doesn’t say that; instead, he sighs, because Jamie, infuriatingly, has a point. “Yeah. Okay. But… just give me a fucking minute. Go get changed and I’ll be there in fifteen, all professional and shit.”

“Great. See you then, Coach.”

Jamie turns and as he walks away Roy can’t help his gaze sliding down to Jamie’s arse, noticing the way the blue shorts cling to the round buttocks, leaving little enough to the imagination, only Roy is imagining what they’d look like sans shorts and red from Roy’s fingers and palm, wondering if the reality would match the dream.

Fuck. 

---

Dreams are just dreams. Roy tells Dr. Sharon as much during their next appointment, because even though talking to Jamie helped him pull himself together just enough to muddle through the rest of the week with his sanity mostly intact, he’s still feeling rather rattled by the whole mess. Untethered. 

Jamie’s been brilliant, carrying on as if nothing’s changed between them. Somehow, that hasn’t helped as much as Roy would’ve thought it would. 

Dr. Sharon listens carefully and without judgement, as she always does. “You’ve had dreams before,” she notes once Roy’s fallen silent. “I’m sure some of them have been strange or unsettling. Has any of them ever affected you like this?” 

“No. Like I said, it’s just dreams, right? It’s not real. Shouldn’t affect me. Never fucking does, not even the sexy ones, usually.”

“Right. So why do you think this one was different?”

Roy stares at her. She returns his stare calmly, patiently. Waits, watching him, until he can’t help but catch the shape of it reflected back at him in her kind eyes.

Fuck. 

---

“What if I don’t want it to be just a dream?” 

“Eh?” 

Jamie’s peering at him through the open door, looking like he’s wondering what Roy is doing showing up unannounced and spouting nonsense on his doorstep at half past three on a rest day. 

Which, okay, fair enough. 

“What if I don’t want it to be just a dream?” Roy repeats, a little slower this time. 

For another moment, Jamie just stares at him. Then his eyes widen, lightening up with delight. “Oh! You mean… ?” He gestures between them.

“Yeah,” Roy says and then he’s being pulled into the hallway by his jacket and he has time to think that that they really need to figure out how Keeley fits into all of this and then he has his arms around a body that is firm and solid and there and Jamie Tartt is kissing him and it’s not a dream at all. 

Fuck. Oh, fuck… !