#Bridging the Gap After Divorce

[ienjoywritingfilth]

Night of the concert deserves a part 2! 🫶

hope u like it and i hope i get some reviews pls. i really love reading them all an i have almost 500 followers!!!!!!!!!!!!

pairing: dbf!Joel x fem!reader

trope Best Friend's Dad! Joel Miller

summary: after a really close call Joel does his best to stay away from his daughter's seductive friend. but all goes awry when she comes to sleep over one weekend.

warnings: age gap (reader is late 20s, joel late 40s), dubcon, oral, infidelity, unprotected p in v, absolutely filthy talk, chair sex, creampie, daddy mentioned, somnophilia, other shit i might have forgotten

word count: 6.1k

part ii of 'the night of the concert'

Joel hasn't been able to stop thinking of that night. The night of the concert. The night you threw yourself at him. 

When he frantically fucks his wife it's your cunt he sees behind his eyes. When he drives to work he gets hard as he remembers the way your tits bounced as you rode him. And above all he recalls that sultry voice you put on for him. 

When was the time you fucked college pussy, Joel? 

Not since college. 

You'd been so slick and warm, so perfect around him. Your cunt had the kind of grip that makes his balls tighten just at the memory. 

So when Sarah asks one morning a month or so later if you can spend the night this weekend Joel chokes on his coffee. 

"Her parents are arguing all the time now. Her mom threatened to file for divorce," Sarah says with a frown as Joel wipes at his now stained work shirt.

"I'm not home this weekend," Angie says tapping on her phone before glancing at her husband. "You'll have to check with your dad. But I don't see why not. Right Joel?"

Sarah looks at her dad with pleading eyes. You haven't been over since everything happened and Joel knows it's been hard for Sarah. She has no idea what you did. 

"Right," Joel finally nods, digging into his eggs. "Yea no problem kiddo." 

What else could he say? He's never told his wife or daughter what happened. How could he do that without blowing his life up? 

The entire week leading up to the weekend Joel thinks he'll fuck it out of his system. He goes down on Angie every night that week leading up to her flight. He fucks her in every position and he fucking loves it. So does she, claiming that college Joel is back after one particularly satisfying session. 

But it's not enough. He's taken to sitting in his truck parked in the garage late at night when everyone else is asleep. Only then does he pull up your Instagram and begin stroking his cock vigorously. He watches your reels and pinches to zoom in on photos you took of yourself at the beach. He comes harder to static images of you than inside his own wife and that's how he knows he cannot be anywhere near the house this weekend. 

That Saturday Joel drops Angie off at the airport so she can go on her yearly trip to her sisters back in Colorado. Of all the fucking weeks for her to be away. 

"You gonna have a movie marathon while I'm gone?" His wife grinned at him. "Or just be lazy by the pool?" 

"Thought I might go fishing with Tommy."

Angie's face went grim. "I don't know that I want the girls alone in the house, Joel." 

"Why not?"

"Her friend is going through a tough time," Angie said sympathetically. "Her parents are divorcing and then suddenly we're both gone? I just feel like you should be there for her."

Joel felt his entire body break out in a flush. Angie is so damn thoughtful. It's what he loves the most about her. 

"Okay sweetheart. I'll stay home." 

----------

When you come to the house that sunny Saturday afternoon and knock on the door, Sarah is in the bathroom. Joel hears her calling him from where he sits in the garage reading magazines. 

"Dad? Can you get it?"

Joel sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was keeping his promise to Angie, but he didn't want to be thrown into the fucking lions den. 

He feels the sweat accumulating down his back as he tugs the door open. 

You're wearing cut offs and a tight tank top that holds you perfectly. The entire outfit is molded to your body, showing Joel every curve. He can see the red strap of a swimsuit underneath. 

"Hi Joel." 

You smile at him like everything is normal. Like last month you didn't ride him and beg for him to fuck you. 

"Come in," Joel offers. 

"Thanks." 

You're carrying a yellow tote bag covered in lemons. Joel tries to fix his attention on that until Sarah comes to greet you. Southern manners insist he wait with you when everything in him tells him to hightail it the other direction. 

He wills his cock to stay flaccid, but just in case he goes to sit at the kitchen table, muttering that you can join him if you want. You do, slipping into the seat across from him. To your credit you look just as uncomfortable as Joel feels. 

"You want a lemonade?"

"No thanks."

He notices how you twirl a strand of your hair around your finger before anxiously picking at the pale blue polish on your nails. 

"I just wanted to say thank you for not saying anything to Sarah about. You know."

"Of course," Joel says with his neck bobbing as he swallows. "I know how close you two are." 

He doesn't add the other things. I can't stop thinking about it. I want you gagging on my thick cock. I want you bouncing on it again. I wanna fuck you full of my cum. 

"I'm really sorry, Joel."

You say it so sweetly and filled with so much regret that Joel feels like a perfect asshole. Here you are anguished about the entire thing and he's been getting his rocks off to it since it happened. 

Sarah's footsteps are heard on the stairs and you both look to her as she enters the kitchen. 

"Let's go swimming," she announces, grabbing you by the wrist. You giggle, following your friend out into the backyard where the glittering pool awaits. 

Joel tells himself that he just wants to tidy up the house, but it's just denial on his part. From the kitchen he can see into the backyard where the two of you jump into the pool, splashing and giggling. 

He focuses on you, watching the skimpy style of your suit cut into your ass, leaving most of it on display as you pull yourself out of the pool. Was it done intentionally? Were you hoping he'd see? 

Dirty old pervert. She thought she was coming over to see a friend. Not to entertain you. 

Still he watches as you oil yourself up, tugging down the collar of your swimsuit to get as much of your flesh as possible. You look so good from where he's standing, all sun kissed. He can still recall the silky smooth of your thighs. 

He forces himself to putter around the house, not letting himself linger at the windows. He tries to ignore the sound of you splashing. 

When his stomach begins to growl he heads for the fridge, barely able to hold in the groan when he sees you already there, your head ducked in as you search for something. You're completely soaked, your hair damp over your shoulders. The cold of the fridge and your damp suit have your nipples poking through your suit, absolutely begging for his mouth. You must notice Joel because you straighten, looking concerned. 

"Sorry," you say, your body dripping onto the ceramic tile. "Sarah said you had popsicles? She wanted one."

Joel hides the grimace at your words, his cock twitching curiously at the image of you soaking wet and licking a Popsicle. 

"We're all out," he lies. 

"I'll tell Sarah." 

Joel doesn't answer, but he watches your ass jump deliciously as you jog back outside through the sliding doors. 

He runs to the bathroom, the door barely closed as he tugs his cock out of his jeans. He spits into his palm and begins to jerks himself off. Images of your wet body in that skintight suit have him throbbing and releasing ropy strings of cum within seconds.  

He looks up into the mirror and sees the flush to his cheeks. The way his mouth is wet and rouged from biting his moans back. He’s fucking disgusting. But at least now he can get back to normal. Now he can order pizza and eat it with you both before retiring early. 

The pizza arrives just as you and Sarah come in, citing that it's getting cold. You're both wearing the towels around your bodies, but Joel can't help but notice that yours is slipping down, affording him a generous glance if you pointed nipples once more. 

"Gotta send out some quotes," he tells you both as he hands over the BBQ chicken pizza. "You two have a good night."

 He recuses himself to his home office beside the garage, thankful that he made it the entire day without one misstep. There have been too many close calls and too much tension and all of it on his end. He tries to ignore everything and focus on his work. 

"Done in the shower if you want it!" 

Your muffled voice calls out to Sarah, startling Joel from just staring at his computer. 

"Thanks!"

He hears his daughter enter into the washroom, the shower running. The gentle sound of footsteps on carpet stop outside his office door and Joel realizes he's barely breathing. He knows you’re standing on the other side.

Don't come in. 

He watches passively as the door to his office is cracked open and your head peeks in. 

"Hey, can we talk?" 

He's safe behind the desk, he figures. If he does get hard you won't be able to see it. He gives you a patient smile. 

"Of course. Come in."

He regrets it the second he says it because when you come around the door and close it behind you, he sees that you're just wrapped in a towel. You stand on the other side of his desk, all concern and nervous lip biting. 

"I just wanted you to know that when all that stuff happened last month I was in a really bad place," you explain. 

Joel hears you speaking but all he can focus on is that your toenails are peach. That your legs are kissed from the sun and bare. That your breasts swell under the towel. Then he realizes you've stopped talking. You're staring at him quizzically. Shit, did you ask him a question? His chair creaks as he leans back in it. 

"We don't have to keep going over this. I understand." 

You step closer to the desk, nodding. 

"I know. But it's important to me that you know."

Joel feels himself relax and he shuts the laptop. Maybe this evening won't be as stressful as he thought. You’re being mature about everything and he doesn’t want you to be in more pain. Your parents are splitting up, you need support.

"It's important for you to know that I didn't plan it or anything," you emphasize.  

"Okay."

"Not like this time." 

Joel is nodding in understanding when he suddenly freezes. 

"Wait what did you just say?" 

He sees the small curl to the corner of your mouth. You’re amused.

"Sarah mentioned Angie was gone for the weekend. So I told her I was having trouble with my parents and asked if I could stay here. It was the only way I could think of to see you again that wasn't suspicious."  

Joel’s eyes go wide. You make an exaggerated pout when he doesn’t answer.

"Joel I can't stop thinking about how it felt to ride your cock that night." 

Joel almost gasps with how hard he gets at your confession. The head beading with pre-cum, soaking his boxers. 

"I can't stop thinking about that night," you say before slowly slinking towards him when he still doesn't answer. "And I don't think you can either." 

It takes a moment for the words to completely register, but when they do Joel makes sure to lean forward, covering his throbbing erection. 

"You need to leave," he says with what he is praying sounds like authority. "We ain't doing this again." 

Please leave. Please fucking leave. I'm not strong enough. 

"I need something to cum on," you say.

"I don't care," Joel says quickly, his eyes on the floor. "Get out."

"Uh uh," you tease with a smile. "Lean back." 

"Leave."

"Show me."

Joel's cheeks are bright red, sending a thrill through you. With a dejected sigh he moves backward in his office chair, removing his arm from where it was resting over his lap. The thickness of his cock is straining against the zipper of his jeans and he spreads his legs wide, almost challenging. 

"I forgot how big you were Joel," you breathe, coming to stand in between his parted legs. Your hands land on his shoulders so you can lean forward, your mouth at his ear. 

"Remember how it looked fucking my pussy?" 

Joel says nothing but you see his neck bob when he swallows. He's angry and horny and frustration pours off of him in waves. 

"You've had your fun, now get out." 

 You grin to yourself before shaking your head. 

"You don't want me to leave."

Joel opens his mouth to tell you exactly that when your fingers come to the towel folded under your collarbone. Before he can say anything you've unravelled it, letting the towel drop to the floor at your feet. 

"Jesus," Joel croaks. He's never seen your fully naked body before, and now that he has he'll never forget it. All lush curves and perfect fucking tits that make his mouth go dry. Your sweet pussy glistens with arousal. 

"It's okay Joel," you whisper softly as you step towards him, drawing his big palms up with yours. He doesn't fight you on it, not even when you begin pressing them against your waist. "You can touch."

You're still damp from the shower and you smell like his wife's shampoo.

"Shouldn't," he says in a slur, even as his hands grip tightly around your naked waist, pulling you towards him.  

"You should," you coo as you lower yourself into his lap. "We both know how good it feels." 

Your knees are on either side of his thick thighs, holding yourself just above him until you take his cock out from his jeans. Joel says nothing, only watching passively. He can't control it, he can't deny you, and he was an idiot to think he could.  His cock is throbbing by the time you bring him out of his pants, the head sticky with pre-cum. 

"You want me to stop?" You ask playfully, your thumb tracing the slit as he shivers. "You want me to leave?" 

Your hand is going around the shaft and tugging when he tries to answer. Joel groans under his breath. 

"We shouldn't..." Joel says it but there's no power behind it, especially when your hand slides down the base, twisting when you reach the springy hair there dense and lush.

"We really shouldn't," you whisper, your mouth sensual as you bite your lower lip in a mockery of regret. "It would be so bad of us."  

You tease the tip of him between your pussy lips, gliding the head between the seam, tickling your clit. Joel feels his eyes roll back at the pleasurable sensation before he forces them open so he can watch. 

"You think about me when you're with her don't you?" You whisper with a Cheshshire grin. "You think about fucking this tight little cunt when you're with your wife, don't you Joel?"

Yes, he does. But he'll never admit that to you. Instead he's silent, just watching you line the head up with your dripping hole.  It looks so good, so perfect and wet. The warmth of you teases the head of his cock and he suddenly can’t take it anymore.

"Put it in," Joel instructs throatily. 

You nod excitedly, crouching and just about to lower yourself onto his length when the shower down the hall suddenly turns off. Your eyes go wide, the realization that Sarah is going to be exiting the shower any second. 

“I better go.”

But Joel is in a frenzy, the scent of you in the air and your wet cunt dripping onto his cock. 

“You wanted this cock," Joel murmurs before grabbing your thighs and spreading them widely over his lap. "Show me how much you want it."

You gasp at the intrusion of his thick cock, your hands flying to lace around his neck as he urges you to take him deeper. 

"She's she's gonna. . . Gonna be out," you groan, sinking into his lap.

He feels you hesitate before he starts rolling his hips and you welcome him deep. You don't want to fight it. 

"Just for a minute," Joel says, pulling you further down onto it. Your thighs spread and he watches your pussy swallow him. “Show me how bad you want this cock.”

"I do," you groan with your head lolling back. "But we're gonna get caught.”

Despite this your cunt twitches around him, your eyes beginning to shutter.

"Show me how you fuck a married man," Joel growls against your temple, starting to bounce you in his lap. "Remind me why I need this cunt."

Instinctively at his words you start to bounce on it. It's wrong, it's so fucking wrong but it gets you so wet. You're rolling your hips when you hear the door to the bathroom creak open. You nearly leap out of your skin. You shoot a wide eyed look of concern at Joel. He raises a forefinger to his plush lips, signalling for you to be quiet. 

You try to pull yourself off of Joel's lap but he shakes his head before burying himself deeper into you. He puts his hand over your mouth when you begin to whine. 

Your feet don't touch the ground. They just bounce in the air as he fucks up into your swollen cunt. You're drifting into a haze of pleasure when there's a knock at the door and Sarah's voice floats in. 

"Dad, have you seen---" 

You're bouncing on his lap, your tits jumping. Joel gropes them, his eyes on your body even as he speaks. 

"Your friend was in the backyard last time I checked," Joel says as he fucks up into you, watching the way your brows knit together. "Try there." 

"Okay."

Sarah leaves the hallway and Joel can only grin at your cock -drunk expression. You’re close, and it only takes a practised rub of his thumb on your clit to have you whining into his palm, your arousal dripping down his cock. He pulls you off of him, amused at the soft whine you utter. 

"Sarah's gonna figure out pretty quick that you're not out there," he tells you. "Head out." 

He says it with authority and for once you listen. You nod, pulling the towel back around your body and slipping out the door. Joel is still sitting here, his cock hard and soaked with you. 

----------

It's only a matter of time before he hears the two of you giggling as you watch a movie, chattering away. He knows Sarah pretty well, she'll be asleep soon. She's never been able to stay awake during any movie they start this late. 

Your laughter peals through the house and Joel feels his tummy tighten. When he sees his cock lengthening under his sweats he's disgusted. 

What the fuck is wrong with him? The shit he said and did. That wasn't him! He's never talked like that. And yet the memory already serves to get him throbbing. He should go to bed, should do anything but sit here turned on out of his mind. He hears padding of feet and knows that you and Sarah must be heading to bed.  

“Night Dad!”

“Night babygirl.”

He waits for the door to shut, counting fifteen minutes before exiting the office. He sees no lights on under his daughter's door. Good, you're both asleep. He creeps towards the kitchen, planning on grabbing a piece of pizza and a water before retiring for the night. He's wandering in the dark home on his way when a shape on the couch stops him. 

It's you, sleeping on the couch. You're wearing a skimpy pyjama shorts and white tank top. Your breasts are rising and falling with each inhale of breath. He comes closer, standing next to the sofa and watching you sleep. 

You’re beautiful like this. All vulnerable, your face smooth. He can't stop looking at your tits through your shirt, missing them already. He can't help it; they fit so perfectly in his hands. Without further thought he tugs the shirt down, letting your breasts spill out and the nipples are already tight buds when they touch the air  You stir briefly at the sensation but remain blissfully asleep.

Joel watches your face, waiting for you to do anything but you continue to sleep. Your lips are parted as you inhale softly. Joel feels hypnotized as he pulls his heavy cock from his sweatpants, already drooling with pre-cum. 

He presses the warm, spongy tip of his cock to your soft lips, feeling like every nerve in him is on fire the second they touch. Pre-cum clings to your pouty, parted lips when he pulls back and he feels his balls tighten at the sight.

Just a little inside, he reasons. You'll never know. Your mouth is so warm and tight and he'll stop before you wake up. 

With slow precision he slips the head between your parted lips, hissing at the wet scorch of your mouth. He feeds his cock slowly into the welcoming warmth, eyes fixed on your face. You’re still placid, huffing a bit in your sleep before settling again.

It’s so wrong to take you like this but Joel can’t stop himself. He saws in and out of your mouth and his movements are frustratingly slow. The tip of his cock is coated in your saliva, but he's desperate to go deeper. He can't stop himself. He thrusts in, feeding it over your wet tongue with a grunt. 

He's hardly surprised when you suddenly blink your eyes open. You're groggy from sleep when his find him standing next to the sofa. His thick, hard cock slowly flexing into your mouth.  You go to pull back in surprise but his hand cradles the back of your skull, keeping you in place. 

"You're okay," he murmurs down at you. "Shhhh."  

He tenses and waits for you to pull back from him. He is sure he'll hear your screaming echo through the house. And he'd deserve it: he's been fucking your mouth for the last two minutes. He's surprised when instead you move your face forward, sucking him deeper. Lightning bolts shoot down from the top of his head and he holds in a moan. 

Your hand comes to stroke the base of his fat cock as your mouth forms a tighter O shape. Joel tilts back, pelvis jutting forward into your mouth. You take him down to the base, your head bobbing along him. 

He watches you take him deeper into your mouth, drooling around him with your eyes gazing up at him. He can see your free hand snake down under the blankets, rubbing furiously and he grins.

"You wanted this didn't you?" 

You nod shallowly around his girth, letting him shove his cock deeper down your throat. He fucks your face slowly, taking his time to pull out, your bottom lip cradling the head before thrusting in over your waiting tongue. 

Joel slowly removes himself from your mouth. He isn't going to be satisfied with fucking just your throat. Wordlessly he tugs the blanket off of your lower half, not even stopping to look at you when he hooks his thick fingers around the waistband of your pyjama pants. You lift up, helping him to tug them off and toss them onto the floor. 

You don't speak; unlike last time you both know you have to be quick and quiet. Sarah could wake up at any minute. That’s part of what makes it hot for you, knowing that your best friend’s dad has his thick cock out, ready to fuck you on the family couch.

Joel tugs his sweatpants all the way off, throwing them to the end of the couch before crawling over you. His large body covers you and its mere seconds before he's pressing his cock against your slippery pussy lips. 

He pulls down your tank top more, wanting your tits to be fully exposed to him. The pink nipples harden under his ravenous gaze. You murmur in surprise when he tilts you back, lifting your breast to his mouth and sucking in one achy nipple. 

You gasp at the sensation, your cunt tightening around his cock. Joel groans against your chest, his big hand hand moving to do the same with the other. Soon enough your nipples are wet with his saliva. He watches your head fall back, already so turned on about the illicitness of what's going on. Joel grins wolfishly, grabbing his throbbing cock by the base and slapping it against your clit. 

"You want this married cock?" Joel grunts down at you quietly, watching as your eyes fight to stay open on his face. 

"Yes," you slur already drunk on him and the moment. "Fuck yes I want your married cock."

 You give a little whine, your body shifting under him desperate for friction. Joel watches the needy way you move for him, trying to urge the head of his cock between your spread thighs.

"Beg for it," Joel whispers gravelly. His voice is hard and hushed in the darkness. 

"Please," you whisper without any hesitation. "I need it in me." 

Joel feels heady with power when he hears your desperate supplication. Your hips are arching to meet his. 

"Again," he hisses, slapping his cock harsher against your mound. You whimper back, tits bouncing as you take in the jolt of pleasure. 

"I'll do anything you want," you promise, rolling your hips up against him. He releases his cock, letting your hips maneuver until he's nestled at your entrance. "I'll give you anything, anything. Just fuck me with your big cock, please." 

Joel should make you keep begging for all you've put him through, but you're soaking him and he hasn't even entered you yet. If he wasn't rushed he'd take you apart piece by piece until your were a slobbering mess. But he needs to rush. 

He holds himself on his forearms, caging you underneath him and grunting as he starts to feed his cock into you. Your arms go around his shoulders before you bury your face in his neck. 

Fuck you're tight. Your pussy a velvet clench that welcomes him, moulding around him. He grunts into your hair as he buries himself deeper, holding in groans when he hears your desperate whimpers for him to go deeper. 

When your ass hits his pelvis you swallow and whimper lustily in his ear. 

"M'so full, Mr. Miller." 

Joel has to clench just teeth from moaning. You know exactly what you're doing using that name and you both know it. You make an achy groaning sound, like he’s so fuck you can barely stand it.

He thrusts into you, watching with satisfaction as your tits jiggle deliciously for him. He doesn't see the smile spreading across your features. And now for the first time in the evening you speak in that low, seductive purr.

"Fucking a college girl with your married cock," you say nibbling his ear, feeling him falter. "And you're so hard aren't you? You like doing bad things, huh?" 

Joel grits his teeth, trying to ignore you and just cum. You're just a vessel for his seed right now. Your body bows underneath him, pliant and willing. 

"Is that it, Joel? You pretend to be a good man but at the end of the day look at you," you say, letting him bounce you harshly along his cock. "Fucking a girl half your age on your couch when your wife is out of town." 

"Shut the fuck up." 

Joel gives a growl and you gasp as he maneuvers your legs up, pressing them between your bodies. He's folding you in half and before you can say anything he's entering you brutally once more.  

The slaps of his balls against your ass are no longer muffled, but neither of you notice. You're both so far gone, practically animalistic at this point. Joel is sweating, his hair falling into his eyes as he draws out and slams back into you. He enjoys the sight of your tits rippling when he does. 

"Just admit it," your murmur between slaps as you bounce under him. "Admit you wanted to do this a month ago."

"I did," Joel grunts into your neck even though it shames him to admit it. "I did okay?" 

"Yeah, you did," you say with a soft giggle that’s girlish and cruel. "You wanted this pussy." 

His hips slap against your ass more quickly, several harsh thrusts before he stops, panting. You're smiling up at him, looking more devious than normal. He grips your wrists, holding them above your head, stretching you out before he pulls out and slams back into you. 

"You gonna shoot your cum deep, Joel?" You ask with your tits bouncing in his face as he fucks you into the sofa. "Gonna watch me push it out?"

He groans gently as he slaps his hips against yours, his cock sawing in and out of you. He watches your body twitch, your hips rolling the best they can in your position. And then suddenly he feels his release imminent.

He pulls out of you, going to kneel on either side of your waist. You pout in disappointment. He grunts, jerking himself off aggressively, his teeth clenched and his wrist moving jerkily. You cup your breasts, silently presenting him his target. His cum soon splashes over your tits in milky ropes as he breathes raggedly. 

And he should be finished. He's fucked you, he's cum. You're both panting and flushed but Joel is mortified to find he's not close to being finished.

"I'm still fucking hard," Joel groans.

He's still so turned on, shocked at how good you feel even after he's cum. It's been decades since he could fuck like this. He still sits up on his knees, but now he taps your thigh.

"Ass up. Now." 

You do as he asks, presenting yourself to him without question. He grips handfuls of your ass, letting them fall together and clap for him before marvelling at your messy pussy as you arch your back for him. You're so fucking puffy and slick. Once again he slides in, pressing you into the couch underneath him. 

You both gasp at how good it feels, your hand going to clench his stationed on your hip. Joel's mouth is at your ear. 

"Just tonight and never again." 

He needs to make it clear that after tonight this is done. No more games, no more seductions. This one night is all you get. He gradually picks up speed, watching your ass jump as he pulls out and thrusts as deep as possible. You look so good from this angle, all submissive.  

"Need more," you groan over your shoulder. 

"You're gettin' more sweetheart," Joel pants against your ear before straightening, his hands coming to spread your cheeks so he can watch himself pulling out. You coat the length of his cock in cum, leaving it shiny when he pulls out to admire how it looks. You feel even better when he then feeds it back into your twitching pussy. 

"Yes, yes," you moan quietly, your hands gripping the arm of the couch in front of you. You bury your face in the pillow, not wanting your moans to be heard. You know you're drooling, your body his to use and to fuck.  

"Gonna fuck your ass next," Joel promises as he thrusts, not knowing where this beast inside him came from. He gives your ass a slap. "You want that? Want me to fuck this sweet little ass?" 

You want to nod but all your energy has left you; you just lay there and take him, feeling his fat cock filling you to the brim over and over. He forces your wrists behind your back, pinning them there at the base of your spine as he drives himself deeper. You're at his mercy and the realization makes everything in him tighten. He can do whatever he wants with you tonight.

"Joel you're so deep," you moan into the couch cushion, your body jolting with every jerk of his hips.

The blanket is forgotten on the ground, your naked bodies writhing on the couch in the very spot where you first rode him. Only now instead of being a reluctant participant Joel is in full control, his large body covering yours, flattening you against the cushions as he fucks into you from behind. 

"I fucking deserve this," Joel mutters out between thrusts, tilting back his head. "Deserve to fuck this pretty pussy all night don't I?"

"Yes," you slur. 

Your head tilts to the side, your cheek crushed against the cushion. Drool seeps out the corner of your mouth, your eyes rolled back into your head as the pleasure overtakes your body. 

Joel feels animalistic, he feels powerful looking down at your body at his mercy. For a moment he feels affection for how much you clearly want this and want him. The look on your face is pure bliss. 

"Gonna bounce for me after this," Joel tells you in an urgent whisper. "Gonna fuck you in my bed and you're gonna bounce on my cock."

"Yes." 

"Gonna fuck you until you can't move," Joel promises, feeling lightheaded at the possibility of fucking you in that most sacred space. 

Your eyes crack open and you glance up over your shoulder to see him red-faced, shiny with sweat, his teeth bared. His eyes are bright and almost feral, like a wild animal. He's beautiful in his ferocity. 

"Finish inside me, Joel."

Joel knows that he should stop right now. He should grab a condom. He should check that you're on the pill. He should do so many things but all Joel can think of is filling you full of his seed. Of watching it drip out of your used pussy. 

"I need to feel you cum inside," you groan gently, looking at him over your shoulder. "Please fuck your cum deep in me, daddy." 

Joel holds in an eye roll.

This daddy shit again. 

He thinks about ignoring it or denying you a chance to hear him say it. But you've been so good for him, so eager and so fucking tight. He's never going to forget the velvet clutch of you, how you're perfectly moulded for him, how responsive you are. He lowers his mouth to your ear, releasing your hands. 

"Daddy's gonna fuck his cum so deep," Joel relents. "Gonna fuck you with his married cock. Gonna fuck his cum so deep you’ll be dripping for days." 

"Fuck, yes," you moan into the pillows, your ass jiggling with every thrust. "Fuck it deep, Daddy!"

He watches the frenzy you work yourself into, gripping the side of the sofa and fucking yourself on Joel's cock by moving yourself back and forth. It's only seconds before you cum hard, drowning Joel's cock in arousal once more as your eyes pinch tightly. 

"Daddy . . .  Daddy . . .  Daddy . . . "

It's a murmured chorus, a desperate plea as you ride your high, collapsing forward, only to have Joel continue pounding into you.  Joel is so close, he feels his balls tightening as he fucks into you with brutality, the sharp slaps filling the room. 

"Gonna take my cum like a good little whore," He groans, his cock almost a blur as he slides in and out of you. He pulls himself completely out before burying himself once more.  

"Fuck yea I am," you moan softly, wishing you could see his face as he pounds into you. "I'm your good little cum-whore, Daddy."

Something about that phrase in your broken, whimpering voice has him there at the edge. His hands go to yours curled over the couch arm once more. He covers them with his own, using the momentum to pound into you as deep as physically possible. You head jerks with the power of his body driving into yours, your body completely at his mercy, your ass rippling with each thrust of him.

"Take Daddy's cum now," Joel groans, pushing in as deep as he can go. "Take it and---"

Anything else Joel was about to say vanishes as the room lights up and the familiar visage of his wife Angie appears her hand on the light switch.

She looks confusedly around before her eyes rest on the scene before her. She looks to see her husband curled over you, his cock wet and free of a condom. She sees the way your eyes are rolled body and how your body is positioned, succumbing to his violent thrusts before caught, Joel attempts to stop. 

But he's too far gone, the buildup already mounting and before Joel can move you off of him or do something to salvage this, he comes violently.  

And then so do you. 

[tokkiwrites]

𝚄𝚗𝚋𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚄𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝙼𝚢 𝚂𝚔𝚒𝚗. (5)

mom's fiancé! joel miller x f! reader • series masterlist.

Summary: Your mom's new fiancé, Joel Miller, is the kind of man you could never shake out of your mind—rugged, rough, and embodiment of your long-buried fantasies. He's been your next-door neighbor for years, and the crush you harbored through your teenage years never really faded. Now, he's with your mom, and they're planning to get married. You should want her to be happy, but you can't ignore the tension growing between you and Joel. It's something that was never meant to happen. But as you uncover Joel's true motives for being with your mom, you realize maybe your feelings weren't one-sided after all. And maybe, despite everything, you’re the one he really wants. Tags: stepcest kind of, age gap (reader is in her mid 20s and joel in his mid 40s), forbidden romance, emotional conflict, complicated family dynamics, heartbreak, ANGST, cheating, infidelity, betrayal, talk about divorce, no one owning up to what they really do, main characters get their happy ending... OR DO THEY?! >:) /ᐠ - ˕ -マ⁩ authors note 𑁯 ✿ im baaack !! last part baby!!! kind of. you'll see >:) until then enjoy this mumbled mess of 4.63k words bunnies! thank you for the immense support on this series. excuse any grammatical errors <//3

Her words hit you like a tidal wave, leaving you gasping for air. You watched as she paced the room, trembling with the weight of her anger and heartbreak. “You don’t know what love is!” she snapped, her voice breaking. “Love isn’t sneaking around, tearing apart the people who trust you the most. Love isn’t ruining your family because you can’t control yourself.”

Your chest tightened, the sting of her words cutting deep. “I didn’t plan for this to happen,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “It wasn’t like I set out to hurt you—”

“But you did,” she interrupted, her voice cracking. “You hurt me in the worst way possible. You betrayed me with the one person who was supposed to be on my side. How am I supposed to live with this? How am I supposed to look at you and not see… this?”

Her words crushed you, the weight of her disappointment pressing down like an anchor. You took a step toward her, desperate to bridge the chasm growing between you. “Mom, please—”

“Don’t,” she said, holding up a hand to stop you. Her tears shimmered in the dim light, her face a portrait of devastation. “I need you to leave. Just… go.”

You froze, your heart shattering at the finality in her tone. “Mom…”

“Go!” she shouted, her voice breaking. “I can’t even look at you right now.”

The silence that followed was deafening. You turned and stumbled toward the door, the walls of the house you’d grown up in suddenly feeling foreign and cold. As you stepped outside, the chill of the night air bit at your skin, but it was nothing compared to the hollow ache inside your chest.

The slam of the door still echoed in your ears as you trudged through the dark streets, clutching your jacket tight against the biting wind. Your mind was spinning, replaying the scene over and over again—the raised voice, the look of disgust on her face, the words that burned like acid.

"You’re a liar. I don’t even know who you are anymore."

Your mother had always been sharp, but you hadn’t expected her to be cruel. Not like that.

She hadn’t even let you explain. Not really. Once she figured it out—once you admitted you were in love with Joel—it was like she couldn’t even look at you. Not forever, maybe. But you knew that in this moment, there was no going back.

You wiped at your face, but it was no use. Tears streaked your cheeks, hot and endless, cutting through the cold. You barely noticed when you reached Joel’s building. Your feet carried you up the stairs, and your fists pounded on his door before you even thought about what you’d say.

It wasn’t long before the door swung open. Joel stood there, his face tight with worry that immediately shifted into something darker when he saw you. “You told her,” he said, his voice low and heavy. You froze, your breath catching. Of course, he already knew. “I had to,” you whispered, stepping inside uninvited. “She—she guessed. She cornered me, Joel, I couldn’t—” You decided to lie. You tried to protect him from all of this. Maybe it wasn't your job or your role to do so, but this was the way to show him that it's real. that you are real, and so are all the feelings you have for him.

“You could’ve,” Joel snapped, cutting you off. He shut the door with more force than necessary. “You could’ve waited. You could’ve called me. But instead, you decided to do this on your own.” His words hit like a punch, and you stumbled over your response. “I didn’t have time—”

“That’s bullshit,” he growled, his voice rising. He took a step closer, his eyes boring into yours. “You didn’t want to wait for me. You wanted to handle it yourself, like you always do.”

“That’s not fair,” you shot back, anger bubbling up to meet his. “I didn’t plan this, Joel! She came at me, and I panicked! What was I supposed to do? Lie to her?”

“Yes!” Joel shouted, throwing his hands up. “You should’ve lied, or stalled, or done anything other than blow this whole thing wide open without me. You think this is just about you? It’s not. This affects both of us.” Your stomach twisted at his words. “You think I don’t know that?” you said, your voice trembling. “Do you think I don’t feel sick about what this means for you? For us? Joel, she kicked me out!"

He froze, his jaw tightening. “She what?”

You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat threatening to choke you. “She told me to leave. Said she doesn’t even recognize me anymore. I—” Your voice broke, and you covered your face with your hands. Joel’s anger seemed to deflate all at once, replaced by something softer, though no less pained. He reached for you hesitantly, his fingers brushing your arm.

“Hey,” he said quietly, his tone rough but gentler now. “C’mere.”

You let him pull you into his arms, and the floodgates opened. You sobbed into his chest, your fists clutching at his shirt like it was the only thing keeping you from falling apart completely. For a while, he just held you, his hand rubbing slow circles on your back. "I got you, babygirl... 'm right here." But the tension in his body hadn’t gone away, and you could feel the weight of everything left unsaid hanging between you. When your sobs finally quieted, Joel pulled back just enough to look at you. His face was etched with exhaustion and something else—something almost like regret.

“This can’t keep happening,” he said softly. “You can’t just… go off and make decisions like this without me. We’re supposed to be in this together.”

“I know,” you whispered, your voice raw. “I’m sorry. I just… I didn’t know what else to do.” Joel sighed, brushing a stray tear from your cheek. “We’ll figure it out,” he said, though he didn’t sound entirely convinced. “We always do.”

But before you could respond, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You hesitated, then pulled it out, your heart sinking when you saw the name on the screen. Marjorie. Of course. Joel noticed your hesitation. “Who is it?”

“Marjorie,” you said quietly. He frowned, but said nothing as you swiped to open the message. "You should’ve thought this through", it read.

•Your mom’s already told half the town about what you’ve done. If you’d just shared a little, you wouldn’t be in this mess now. At least they'll know what a homewrecking whore you are.

The room seemed to spin, and you had to sit down before your legs gave out. Joel knelt beside you, his hand gripping yours tightly. “What is it?” he asked, his voice low and steady. You showed him the message, your hands shaking. His jaw tightened as he read it, a muscle in his cheek jumping.

“Unbelievable,” he muttered. “She’s trying to twist the knife.”

“She’s right, though,” you said, your voice barely audible. “I—I did this to myself. To us.”

“Hey,” Joel said firmly, cupping your face in his hands. “Don’t you dare blame yourself for this. You hear me, sweet girl? This isn’t on you. It’s on them. On her.” You wanted to believe him. But the weight of everything—the fallout with your mom, the shame, the fear of what came next—it was too much.

“I don’t know how to fix this,” you whispered, tears welling up again. "Maybe it don't need fixin'.." Joel’s expression softened, and he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. “We’ll figure it out,” he said again. “One step at a time. But you’ve got to let me in. No more shutting me out.”

The road ahead felt impossibly long, the cracks in your relationship with Joel deep and jagged. But as he held you close, his arms steady and sure, you let yourself hope.

the nigh faded as your lids finally closed, the soft whispers of Joel a blanket over your tensed body. Finally, you fall asleep, escaping this day, hoping that when you wake up It'll all turn out to be a bad dream.

But as the night fell upon, you so did the day.

Joel stood on the doorstep, fists clenched at his sides. The brisk wind carried the faint scent of pine from the trees lining the street. He stared at the door in front of him, steeling himself for what he knew was coming. When your mother opened the door, her face immediately twisted into a scowl. “You’ve got some nerve showing up here,” she spat. Joel held her gaze, his jaw tight. “We need to talk.”

“Oh, we do?” she snapped, stepping onto the porch and crossing her arms. “You’ve said enough, Joel. Or maybe not—seems like you were too busy seducing my daughter to give me the full picture.” Joel winced, but he didn’t look away. “I didn’t come here to fight with you.”

“Then what do you want?” she shot back, her voice rising. “To explain yourself? To justify this—this shit?”

“I want to make things right,” Joel said, his tone measured. “For her. She doesn’t deserve this.”

“Don’t you dare pretend this is about her,” she snapped, her eyes narrowing. “This is about you. About your selfishness, your inability to think about anyone but yourself.” Joel’s hands curled into fists at his sides, but he forced himself to stay calm. “I know you’re angry—”

“Angry?” Her voice grew louder, trembling with indignation. “Angry doesn’t even begin to cover it! Do you have any idea what you’ve done, Joel? My daughter—your stepdaughter. Do you even hear yourself?” Joel’s shoulders sagged slightly, but his resolve didn’t falter. “It’s not what you think—”

“Oh, really?” she interrupted, her laugh sharp and bitter. “Then explain it to me, Joel. Enlighten me, because from where I’m standing, it looks like you’ve been fucking her this whole time.” His head snapped up, and his voice took on a dangerous edge. “That’s not what happened.”

“Then what?” she demanded, stepping closer. “You ‘accidentally’ fell for her? And so did your dick inside of her? Was this why you got so close to her? Why you were so ‘supportive’ all of a sudden? Because you wanted her?” Joel’s chest rose and fell heavily. “I didn’t plan this,” he said, his voice low but firm. “It just happened. She’s not a child, and this wasn’t some sick—”

“Don’t you dare try to justify this!” she hissed, cutting him off again. “You’re supposed to be her father. You were supposed to protect her—not—” Her voice cracked, and she had to look away, blinking rapidly. "Oh my god."

Joel stepped forward, his voice softening. “I never meant to hurt anyone.” She glared at him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “You think that makes it better? That it wasn’t ‘on purpose’? My God, Joel—this is why you married me, isn’t it?”

His brow furrowed, and for a moment, he looked genuinely taken aback. “What?” She let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. “It makes sense now. You didn’t want me. You wanted her. You saw an opportunity, and you—” Her voice broke again, and she turned away, her hand pressed to her mouth. “That’s not true,” Joel said firmly, his voice rising just slightly. “I loved you. I cared about this family. I—”

“You used this family,” she snapped, spinning back around to face him. “And don’t you dare pretend otherwise. You’ve destroyed everything, Joel. Do you understand that? Everything. And for what?”

Joel’s expression hardened, his frustration bubbling to the surface. “For love,” he said, his voice rough. “I love her. And you can hate me for it all you want, but that’s the truth.” Her mouth fell open slightly, disbelief etched across her face. For a moment, the only sound was the wind rustling through the trees.

“You’re disgusting,” she finally said, her voice quiet but laced with venom. “Do you know what people are saying? What they’re going to say? You’ve ruined her, Joel. You’ve ruined her life, and you don't even understand."

Joel’s throat tightened, and his heart sank with every word that came from her mouth. “I never meant to hurt her,” he said again, his voice thick with emotion. He took a step forward, desperate to make her understand. “I never meant for any of this to happen. I love her, but I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I never wanted to destroy this family.” The words seemed to hit her like a slap. She blinked rapidly, as though trying to keep the tears at bay, but they came anyway—one by one, streaming down her face. “You already have, Joel,” she whispered.

There was a heavy silence between them. The weight of everything that had happened hung in the air like an oppressive cloud. Joel wanted to reach out, to comfort her somehow, but he knew he couldn’t. Not now.

Her eyes narrowed, and her voice was cold, almost venomous. “You’re not going to get away with this. I’ll make sure of it. I’m telling everyone. I’ve already told people, Joel. You don’t get to just pretend this didn’t happen, that it’s all okay. I will make sure everyone knows what you’ve done.”

His blood ran cold. “You can’t—”

“I will,” she spat. Joel stood there. He wanted to scream, to argue, but the truth hung there. He had screwed up. And he knew that.

“I didn’t want this to happen. You have to believe me,” he said hoarsely, voice cracking. “I was trying to be there for her. I—I never wanted to hurt her or you. It just—it just happened. And I don’t know what to do, but I swear, I never meant for it to go this far.” She crossed her arms tightly, her eyes flashing with anger and hurt. “You never meant it, Joel? Then why did you let it happen? Why didn’t you stop? You could’ve stopped. You could’ve walked away.

His throat felt tight, constricted with guilt, but he refused to back down. “Because I couldn’t.” Her lip trembled, but she quickly bit it, hiding the emotion that flickered there. She took a deep breath, then looked him square in the eyes. “I want you to leave. Now.”

The command was sharp, final. Joel hesitated, his gaze lingering on her, and then he nodded—slowly. He wasn’t sure what else to say. There were no more words that could fix this, not right now. He turned, heading for the door, the weight of everything pressing down on him with each step.

He felt sick.

With one final glance at the door he’d just walked away from, he turned and walked down the street, away from the house, away from everything. His mind raced with a thousand thoughts, but none of them made sense.

He had destroyed everything.

And now, there was no going back.

Joel had just come back from a supply run, the door clicking shut behind him. You glanced up from the couch, where you’d been sitting in silence, staring blankly at a book you weren’t really reading. He dropped the grocery bag on the counter, pausing before he looked at you.

“You’ve barely eaten,” he said, his voice rough but laced with concern. You shrugged, hugging your knees to your chest. “Not hungry.” He let out a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself, baby. I know it’s hard, but we’re in this together. You know that, don’t you?”

You looked at him then, searching his face for something—reassurance, maybe, or a sense that he really believed what he was saying. “Together,” you echoed, the word feeling hollow. “We might be together, but everything else is ruined, Joel. My mom hates me. She hates you... And everyone else knows now too."

Running away now sounds about right.

Joel crossed the room, sitting on the edge of the couch. “Your mom’s angry. She’s hurt. But she’ll come around. And whatever others say... Fuck 'em.” You shook your head, tears pricking your eyes. “She won’t, Joel. Not after what she said. Not after what we did.”

“She doesn’t get to judge us,” he said firmly, his voice low. “She can be angry all she wants, but we didn’t do this to hurt her. We didn’t plan for any of this.” You flinched at his words. “That doesn’t make it okay. We still—Joel, we still had an affair. We lied to her. I lied to her... and I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

Joel reached out, his hand brushing against yours. “You’re the same person you’ve always been...My sweet 'n smart girl. And you’re not alone in this. I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

You looked at him, his eyes filled with determination and tears. He meant it—every word. But that didn’t erase the reality of what had happened. It didn’t change the fact that you’d hurt someone you both cared about, even if that love had long since soured.

“Do you regret it?” you asked suddenly, the words spilling out before you could stop them. Your voice trembled, barely audible. “Do you regret... us?” Joel froze, his hand tightening around yours. For a moment, you thought he might say yes—that he’d take it all back if he could. But then he shook his head, his voice resolute.

“No,” he said. “I don’t regret loving you. I can’t. But I hate how it happened. I hate what it’s done to you—to us.” Tears slipped down your cheeks, and he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly. You buried your face in his chest, letting yourself cry for everything you’d lost—for the family you’d broken and the love that had brought you here. “I’m scared, Joel,” you whispered. “What if it’s not enough? What if we’re not enough?” His arms tightened around you, his voice soft but unwavering. “We’ll figure it out. One day at a time, baby.”

You wait for the moon to rise and hug you.

Tonight, as the moonlight filtered through the thin curtains in his bedroom, you realized you couldn’t stay here anymore. Not in this town. Not surrounded by the memories of everything you’d lost.

Joel was beside you, his breathing steady but shallow. He’d fallen asleep sitting against the headboard, a book forgotten in his lap. His brow was furrowed, even in rest. You stared at him for a long moment before gently nudging his shoulder. “Joel,” you whispered. He stirred, his eyes fluttering open. For a second, he looked confused, but then his gaze softened when he saw you. “Hey, sweetheart. You okay?”

You nodded but didn’t answer right away. Instead, you sat up, crossing your legs and pulling the blanket over them. Joel straightened, too, setting the book aside and giving you his full attention.

“There’s something I’ve been thinking about,” you started. Joel tilted his head slightly. “What’s that?”

You took a deep breath, the words tumbling out before you could second-guess yourself. “Why don’t we leave? Just... pack up and go somewhere else. Start over. There’s nothing keeping me here, Joel. Not anymore. We could move, get away from all this, and just... be us. We could have a life, a family of our own. Isn’t that what we’ve always wanted?”

Joel’s eyes widened slightly, and for a moment, he didn’t say anything. You could see the wheels turning in his mind, the way he was trying to process what you’d just said. “You want to leave?” he asked finally, his voice low.

You nodded. “I can’t stay here, Joel. Not after everything. Everyone knows. They’re all talking about us, judging us. I can’t go anywhere without feeling their eyes on me. And my mom... She’s made it clear I’m not welcome. But we don’t have to stay. We could go somewhere no one knows us. Start fresh.”

Joel rubbed a hand over his face, his jaw tightening. “I don’t know, darlin’. Moving... It’s a big decision. And what about you? Your work, your friends?”

“They’re not my friends anymore,” you said bitterly, the sting of betrayal still fresh. “If they ever were, they’re sure not now. And work... I can find something else. None of that matters, Joel. All that matters is us. If we stay here, this will follow us forever. But if we leave, we can leave all this behind.” His shoulders slumped slightly, and he looked at you; sadness and longing. “You really think running away’s the answer?”

“It’s not running away,” you argued gently. “It’s starting over. Joel, you said we’d figure this out together. This is how we do it! We can’t change what happened, but we can choose what happens next. And I choose you.”

The room was silent except for the faint hum of the air conditioner. Joel’s gaze locked on yours, and you could see the battle raging inside him. He wanted what you were offering—a chance to leave this mess behind, to build a life with you. But he was also scared of the unknown and the risks that came with it.

Finally, he reached out, his hand covering yours. “If this is what you want,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, “then we’ll do it. We’ll leave. Wherever you wanna go, I’ll follow.”

Relief flooded through you, and a tear slipped down your cheek as you threw your arms around him. “Thank you,” you murmured against his shoulder. “Thank you..." He held you tightly, his lips brushing the top of your head. “You’re all I’ve got, darlin’. I’d go anywhere for you.”

That was enough. It had to be.

The hum of the apartment felt suffocating, but there was a strange comfort in it, too. You’d been in the same place for so long, yet now, every little sound—the refrigerator humming, the quiet ticking of the clock on the wall—felt like a reminder of everything that had fallen apart. The town that had been home for so many years now felt like a prison, a place where the whispers never stopped, and the eyes of judgment followed you wherever you went.

But you weren’t staying here. You couldn’t stay here. You were both looking for a way out. Maybe you more than him.

Joel had been working overtime, pushing through his job, despite the whispers about him at work—the rumors that now tainted his every conversation. His job, the stares, the small-town gossip— it all got to him. to both of you.

As for you, you had quit yours. There wasn’t any point in pretending anymore. Your coworkers had given you that look— the one that said they knew but couldn’t talk about it openly. You didn’t need that anymore. You didn’t need to keep hiding in a job that felt more like a cage than an opportunity.

What you needed was space. You needed to leave. To escape. To start somewhere far away from here.

You stood by the counter, stirring a pot of vegetable soup as the familiar sounds of the apartment surrounded you. You were tired. Tired of hiding. Tired of fighting for something that had no resolve. It should’ve been an easy answer. You knew this would happen, how it would end up. And you could see it in Joel’s eyes, too. But every time you thought about leaving, about getting out of this town where everyone knew too much, there was a brief moment of hope. A spark. What if this was the first step toward something real? Toward a life that was just yours? Was it that horrible you wanted to he happy despite what you had done?

You let out a deep breath, your thoughts interrupted as Joel stepped into the kitchen, his tired eyes locking onto yours.

"Hi, baby." he murmured, his voice a little rough from the long day. You turned to him, a smile tugging at your lips despite the exhaustion that had been weighing on you. “Hi,” you said softly, and before you could say anything more, he closed the space between you. Joel’s arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you against him as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head, then your temple. “Missed you,” he said, his lips brushing against your skin. “Every damn minute I was at work, all I could think about was gettin' home to you.”

You laughed quietly, resting your hands on his chest. “You’re such a sap,” you teased, but there was no bite in your words—just warmth, just the comfort of knowing he was here. “Only for you,” Joel replied, a smirk playing on his lips as he tilted your chin up to meet his gaze. His thumb brushed over your cheek, and his expression softened. “You’re my whole world, baby. Don’t you know that by now?”

Your chest tightened, but in the best way. You nodded, leaning into his touch. “I think I do,” you whispered. Joel’s smile grew, and he leaned down to kiss you—slow and sweet, the kind of kiss that made the rest of the world falter away. When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, and his hands stayed firm on your waist like he couldn’t bear to let go.

“We’re really doing this..?” you said. “We’re leaving. Packing up and going to a whole new place..."

“Damn right we are,” his voice was steady. “We got that apartment a few towns over...with the balcony and all that sunlight you love so much, could maybe get a puppy too, who knows? It’s ours now. We’re making this happen.”

"Or a kitty." you giggle. "Whatever you want, angel. anything you want." You nodded, a smile breaking across your face. Your future home. Yours and Joel's. For how unreal it sounded, it felt like a lifeline. It was small but perfect, tucked away in a quiet area where no one would know your names. It was far enough from here that the whispers, the judgment, and the past couldn’t follow. It was everything you both needed. “I still can’t believe they approved us,” you said, shaking your head with a quiet laugh. “It feels too good to be true.” Joel chuckled, pulling you tighter against him. “Believe it, baby. It’s happening. And I can’t wait to see you in it. Can’t wait to start a real life with you..." he trails off, palm settling on your lower belly and, oh, butterflies bloom into your stomach. His words made your chest ache. He leaned down to kiss you again, his hands moving up to cradle your face. The kiss was longer this time, deeper, like he was trying to pour everything he felt for you into it. When he finally pulled back, his eyes were shining. “We’ll start packing this weekend,” he said, his tone laced with excitement. “I’ve already started thinking about how to load the truck. Gonna make sure all your stuff’s safe, no scratches or anythin'.” You laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck. “You’re so practical.”

“Hey, someone’s gotta be,” he teased, pressing another kiss to your forehead. “But seriously, I want you to feel at home there. I want it to be everything you’ve ever wanted. Hell, I don’t care if we’re in a shoebox as long as it’s with you.” Your throat tightened at his words, and you buried your face in his chest, holding onto him like he was the only thing keeping you grounded. “I love you,” you said softly. Joel’s hand came up to tangle in your hair, and he pressed his lips to the top of your head. “I love you, baby. More than anything.” it seemed real enough for you.

For a while, the two of you just stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, letting the warmth of the moment settle around you. You weren’t just running from something anymore, or someone. You were running toward something— together. And it was wrong, yes, and maybe karma will eventually make it's way to you, but until then this was your chance to be happy.

taglist ⭐️ ㅡ @eviispunk @joeldjarin @whimsiwitchy @guelyury @untamedheart81 @dollyxzy @mybvalentine @am-3-thyst @cuteanimalmama @corinnedollete @lovely-vamp-princess

[wolfpants]

my year in fic: 2024!

Thank you so much for tagging me @sitp-recs! I loved putting this little roundup together. I struggled a bit this year, creatively - I think because I had such a massive output in 2023 (226k words 😱) I was going through burnout and also feeling like I couldn't quite live up to the longfics I had posted the previous year. But putting this together, and realising I've written 120k words, I'm actually really surprised - and happy! I've done a real mix of pairings, too.

I look forward to 2025 - I'm planning to take part in Kinkuary again, and I have a few other projects up my sleeve including my first Drarry (long) 8th year fic, a collab, and a follow-up fic to a Drarry I've already published. I'm determined to go into next year with a clear and positive head and continue to stick to writing (and sharing!) what I love!

Much love to you all - wishing you all a fabulous festive season! No pressure tagging @getawayfox @tackytigerfic @maesterchill @houndsinhades @the-invisibility-bloke @toomuchplor @citrusses @skeptiquewrites @hoko-onchi-writes and anyone else who wants to share their 2024 wrapped!

-

Drarry

🌟 All Is Calm, All Is Bright | E, 7k | Drarry

Tags: infidelity, Christmas markets, photographer Harry, angst and feels, pining

“Ernie and I are getting a divorce,” Draco says. A stone drops heavily in the pit of Harry’s stomach. He startles. Draco nods. He lifts his mug to his lips and sinks the contents. “Yes,” he says, his voice tight. 

🌺 Come In, the Water's Lovely | E, 4k | Drarry

Tags: established relationship smut, showering/bathing/swimming, tent sex

Harry laughs against Draco’s wet, soap-sweet skin and lets his hands fall to his waist. He steals another soft kiss. “Want me to help with that? Reviews say I’m not very clinical at all. I’m positively… extravagant.” Draco bends his head forward again and nips Harry’s lip, then soothes it with a slow swipe of his tongue. “A giver of deluxe wanks.”

🥂 How to Begin | E, 8k | Drarry

Tags: friends to lovers, drunk sex, second chances, mutual pining, they were roommates

“I think we owe it to ourselves to do it again properly,” Draco says smartly.

✈️ Long Haul | E, 9k | Drarry

Tags: mile high club, pining, flirting, mild d/s elements, competent draco

“So you’d risk plummeting us all to our deaths just to get filled? You slut,” Draco whispers.

😈 Raising Hell | E, 21k | Drarry

Tags: colleagues to lovers, case fic, occult, UST, exhibitionism, ritual sex

Malfoy pinched the bridge of his nose. “How do I put this delicately, Potter.” He shook his fringe from his face and sighed. “The initiation is sex. They want us to fuck. In front of all of them. It’s—what they do.”

-

Others

☕️ Come as You Are | E, 2k | Sirius/Ron

Tags: pwp, age gap (19/40), big dick Ron, blow jobs

Open up, he imagines Ron saying with that easy, casual dominance he exudes so beautifully, so he does, just in time for Ron’s mouth to meet his. 

🎶 In My Room | E, 21k | Dron

Tags: 8th year, angst and h/c, unhealthy coping mechanisms, no hea, first time

Draco rattles around in his brain for something to talk about, something beyond the immediate obvious—we are lying in bed together, we are spooning, you are shirtless, you are holding my hand, my chest feels like it’s on fire, my head is as light as air, do you feel it too? I will die if I get hard, I might die if you change your mind about me.

🚗 A Light That Never Goes Out | E, 6k | Sirry/Draco

Tags: Sirius returns, timey wimey, road trips, hotel room hookup, threesome

Sirius’s fingers twitch around his glass. The pleasure looming in the pit of his belly at seeing Harry so happy and turned on isn’t quite enough to stem the niggling sense of envy and outsiderness he feels. Harry and Draco’s careful pleasantries melt away into something more familiar, something they’re both clearly equally relieved to pick up after, apparently, a good few years of not being in one another’s orbit.

❅ Snowdrift | E, 9k | Dronarry

Tags: married dron, threesome, domesticity, drarry pining

“Is this what you wanted?” Ron asks, turning his attention back to Harry, daring to ask the question that’s been floating in the back of his mind since the moment Harry stepped through the front door; maybe since the moment Harry’s text landed in the group chat.

🚙 Spellbound & Acheron | E, 7k (total) | Dralbus

Tags: kidnapping, stockholm syndrome, watersports, virginity kink, power imbalance, age gap

Albus hears the click of a seatbelt. His nose fills with the smell of cloves and cedar—Mr Malfoy’s cologne, his shampoo, the scent that clings to his clothes and that Albus thinks about, persistently, because it is the scent that he has come to enjoy the most. 

[hotdilfs11]

⊹ ˚. an acquaintance(drabble)

✩pairings: Fitzgerald x fem reader

✩summary: y/n is upset about the relationship between her and the president.

warnings:minor cursing

✩word count: 537

*age gap*

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

I yanked my arm from his forceful grip. 

“Don’t you fucking touch me!” I yelled quietly at Fitz, trying to exit the ballroom. Fitzgerald just recently got divorced after one year of us falling in love with each other. I told him I didn’t want to do anything or be with him until he got divorced, and he actually did it for the most part. After his recent divorce, he wanted to make things official between us, but it doesn’t feel that way. He’s scared to be around me, especially in public. He treats me like a friend, an acquaintance that he met on a random fucking Friday afternoon. 

Fitzgerald grabs me again, forcing me to stop in my tracks. “y/n stop!” He whispered, trying not to make a scene. Were inches apart from each other, our faces close to inches away from one another as tension cracked the air and our breaths rigid.

“Let me the fuck go!” I hissed under my breath, looking up into his apologetic eyes, waiting and wanting me to say something else. I yanked my hand away, sending a shockwave through the space between us. Rubbing my semi-sore arm, I walked away and out of the ballroom into the hallway, tears welling up in my eyes. I felt so stupid thinking that he actually wanted me; I couldn’t even bear the thought of it. My eyes started to blur, with tear droplets pouring out of my eyes and down the sides of my cheeks. As I walked down the long hallway of the white house, I heard heavy, fast, and familiar footsteps walk behind me. I started walking faster, but he did too, until he finally caught up to me. His large, rough hands wrapped around my sore arm, yanking me into one of the dining rooms. 

He let go of me as he slowly closed the door to look at me, with his eyebrows furrowed, forming a delicate, trembling bridge of anguish above his eye. His whole body was tensed up as he looked for the right words to come out of his mouth, but they never did. I started walking up to him, trying to get past him and to the door, but he stepped aside. Mockingly, I say, “Mr. President, I wish for you to move aside,” rolling my eyes at him. I moved to his left, but he’s still blocking the door. I gave him a proper smile, fed up with his shit. “Mr. President, I...”

“Don’t pull that shit on me, y/n.” He signed 

“I really don’t know what you're talking about”, I said, shrugging my shoulders. “I’m just acting like how you've been treating me—a friend, an acquaintance. SO! Mr. President, I will be on my way home, yes?” 

He’s still standing in front of the door, gazing into my sorrow-filled eyes. 

“Y/n… you know who you are to me” He tries to grab me but I pull my hand away and held my arm to my body “Don’t!” As a tear rolled down my eye, backing away from him. He saw me crying and took a step forward, lifting his arm up trying to wipe my tears away, I backed away.  

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

give me ideas to continue this!

[pixeltwix]

-Fiddleford Missing His Family-

To me, one of the most heartbreaking details of Gravity Falls is just..everything McGucket related, but specifically him before he starts even getting his family back after Weirdmageddon

Because he spent the entire series and probably the last thirty years trying to recreate his family

It speaks volumes to me that despite a shunning son and a divorce on his pallet, and zero memory or how any of this even happened, that he’s desperately trying to recreate a life he doesn’t even remember but knows he at least had at one point and wants again

Obviously we know he did have a wife and son, hell he’s introduced as a father first and foremost in the story and I think most people forget that, but through and through he is inherently a family man

I myself struggle to understand this mindset, and most do as well, but some people genuinely want to have a family. Like that’s genuinely their dream and their goal in life alongside their occupational dreams, and Fiddleford completely comes off as that kinda guy. I think he just struggled to balance himself thinking he couldn’t do fifty fifty and instead put one hundred percent into things separately and fell short in both categories here and there

Regardless, we know Tate, and even though season one never planned on making McGucket anything other than a comedic side character we know that changed with season two in the shows new direction

All that really does is complicate things for why Tate is here. Obviously we can fill in the blanks with the lore later given last minute, maybe he wanted to see if his father was actually up in Gravity Falls, maybe he wanted to see if he could get through to him and it ‘wasn’t as bad’ as what he had heard or assumed, but that’s not relevant in this post at the moment

What I’m focusing on instead is the fact that just because Fiddleford can’t bridge the gap and connect with his actual son, because he has zero clue what it is he’s done, it doesn’t stop him from being in the community and playing roles that a ‘normal father’ would be doing for his kids

Ie reading town history to local kids (even if he just wound up eating the books after) it’s usually still an important thing parents tend to want to do with their kids (the teaching aspect)

Being there as a chaperone on a first date (I know it’s not the first for Gideon & Mabel, but the point is still there) as most ‘normal’ parents want to be active in their kids lives and make sure they’re being safe, & making good choices in the world

Being at the Sev’Ral Times concert (later seen crowd surfing, which honestly still cracks me up) but nevertheless he shows up out of the blue to be vocally supportive of the girls excitement for the concert and their plans

Yknow, as a parent ought to be when taking their kid to their favorite bands concert

Annnd then of course, far less subtle to anything else mentioned before regarding an image to general parenthood, we have raccoon wife

Again, there’s nothing subtle about this, it’s raccoon wife and it is bizarre that no one in town questions this. “Crazy local coot thinks he’s married to a raccoon? Yeah, makes sense.” (Though tbf there’s a local man married to a woodpecker, so ig it’s whatever for everyone)

Again x2 I’m not sure what to add on here because it feels pretty blatant what bro is shooting for mental wise here, it just makes me wonder wHAt about a raccoon reminds him of Emma May?

Maybe it’s just the pale round face, dark eyes, and brown hair that makes it click in his head

Regardless I still think it’s sweet that even when he’s gotten some recollection of himself back he’s still concerned for the raccoons in the apocalypse

Anywho, call me an emotional loser if you want, but the concept of this old man wanting his family back for some thirty odd years and not knowing how to get them back so he substitutes it with other things is horribly depressing

I can at least rest easy knowing his relationship with Tate has improved after Weirdmageddon :)

[builtbybrokenbells]

CAPITAL VICES | WRATH

Wrath: a strong anger and/or hate towards another person.

Masterlist

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 21k (oops)

Warnings: PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS AS THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS VERY HEAVY THEMES—SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, hate sex, rough sex, fingering (f!receiving), masturbation (f!receiving), touch of voyeurism, choking, praise, degradation, dom/sub, sir kink, choking, touch of impact play, name calling, bratty sub, ANGST, very toxic themes, intentional jealousy, jealousy/possessiveness, very descriptive scenes of anger, gaslighting/manipulative behaviour/phrases, fighting, crying, mentions of physical violence, yelling, belittling oneself and others, self destructive behaviour, self-hatred, mentions of abusive relationships, mentions of cheating, mentions of grief/parent loss, mentions of breakups/breakups, depression, anxiety, mentions of addiction/drug use, mentions of blood/bleeding, swearing, drinking, so sorry if i miss any!

here it is, the long awaited chapter. wrath has been a chapter I’ve been looking forward to since the very beginning, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you for helping me get this far. as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes (lightly edited) 😘

Heartbreak is such a cruel word, always insinuating that the very thing that breathes life into your body has been shattered and destroyed beyond repair. Heartbreak is violent, it is isolating, and it is gruesome. It is also something you never once believed you would let yourself feel again, and for years, you had done so well adhering to your own rules.

Love in itself is a funny thing; such a powerful emotion that is not only widely felt, but almost always ends in catastrophe. You were not one for love, and you had known that ever since you found yourself sitting in a bleak beige office across from a divorce lawyer at the young age of 22. Before that, when you cried ugly tears over a hospital bed while holding the sick, frail hand of your once mighty father, the notion began to rise in your mind. You could distinctly remember looking across the room, catching sight of your mothers grief-stricken eyes, and even then you could not begin to comprehend falling in love only to lose someone so tragically.

It always seemed like a curse to you, rather than a blessing; you watched too many relationships fail and leave disaster in its wake, too many people never recover from heartbreak greater than this lifetime, and too many people watch their greatest loves succumb to sickness before their very eyes. You could not position yourself in such a powerless situation, nor could you choke down the pain that came after it. The idea of giving yourself completely to another was not something you were keen on, nor ever wanted for yourself, especially after doing it once and receiving nothing but sorrow in return.

A lifetime of loneliness seemed better than decades of pain, because if you were going to suffer, you thought it best to do it on your own accord.

It’s not like you were isolated; perhaps your heart always craved a little more, but never enough for you to throw your morals in the garbage. Company came in all forms, as did fulfillment. You found solace in friends, family and colleagues. Your life was full of love, even if it was not in the way that is most expected of a person. You knew how to feel it, how to appreciate another in a selfless show of emotion, but never in romance. Casual sex was your forte, and it bridged the gap between your fear of committing and the human urge for connection. It was something you did well at, never lingering for too long and cutting things off before becoming too invested. As of recent, you seemed to stray away from that lifestyle, too, as you began to understand that one wrong move left you in a position that was uncomfortable and complicated. You adored your peace, and you loved your personal space, and if that meant keeping everyone else out, you were willing to sacrifice fulfillment on behalf of happiness.

Your friends and family thought you were insane for lacking the desire to settle down and start a family, that you would rather live alone instead of make space for another. They couldn’t understand you, nor could you understand them. You were two sides of the same coin, and it was always best to leave the discussion of love under the table. Your mother had another daughter to give her grandchildren, and even if she did not, you could not take that burden upon yourself just to make her happy. With time, she had grown much more understanding, and you knew that the more the years went on, the more she would be able to comprehend your feelings on the matter.

You were committed to your job, and your lifestyle. You loved drinking at the bar, and you loved to have fun in every aspect of the word. You liked to laugh, to do things that left impactful memories, and you didn’t want anything to get in the way of that. You did a good job of keeping life simple, and you were confident in your ability to maintain your integrity in the process.

Five years of that lifestyle had made you a professional of sorts. Then, Jacob fucking Kiszka walked into your life and ruined the whole damn thing.

With his pretty eyes and his devilishly beautiful face, he had charmed his way into your bed. With his witty humor and compelling aura, he’d managed to convince you to be his friend. With his sweet words and gentle smile, he’d easily become your favorite person in the whole world, and not long after that, you realized that you had fallen for him beyond any doubt. You were in love with him in the most sincere and honest way, and you loved him enough that you could not manage distance yourself from him, even if you so badly wanted to.

But, he was a man, and beyond the surface, they were all the same. It took one night for him to shatter the comfortability the two of you created, and it took one night to destroy the heart that he had a helping hand in repairing.

You wished you could say that at the sight of his lips locked with another woman and his tongue down her throat, you vowed to be the bigger person. You wanted to walk away, to forget he ever existed and move on with your life. You intended to stitch your wounds in silence, and flourish in seclusion. When you stepped back out into the real world, maybe he could catch a glimpse of you and realize all that he’d lost by being so immature. You wanted it so badly, and you did not crave to involve yourself in his childish behavior. When you left the bar the night he found himself wrapped around another girl, you promised yourself that you would never see him again, nor would try to hurt him the same way he hurt you. You wanted to move on, to take the loss and be better for it.

You had quickly come to learn that promising something and following through are two very different things.

The first night, you cried yourself to sleep. When you woke the next day, the pain was still abundant and relentless. You drank a bottle of wine while playing the saddest songs you knew on the piano, but not even that seemed to help. After that, you did all you could to ignore the hurt in your heart, hoping that if you did not submit to it, it would leave you alone. Food sickened you, and no matter where you situated yourself in your home to try and lessen the memory, it only seemed to hurt worse. His presence clung to every surface. It lived in the fabric of your couch, and the soft cotton of your bedsheets. It was sitting at your kitchen table, and even in the shower, too.

Even if you notice something in a room is missing, the memory of the loss ensures that it will remain indefinitely.

By the third day, you had become so angry that you could not even recognize yourself in the mirror. All of the hurt you were holding back was unbearable, bubbling to the surface with a vengeance. It was upset about being ignored and begging to be heard, disguising itself as anger to showcase its unhappiness with your unwillingness to acknowledge it. You were irritable, your patience thin and bordering non-existence. You cancelled your upcoming clients with a promise to reschedule, and you went to the gym excessively in hopes that the ache of your muscles would cover the sound of the ever-increasing pain in your heart.

You knew you were too far gone when one day, instead of walking away in frustration when your fork had fallen to the floor while trying to heat up old takeout remaining in your fridge, with little care, you had thrown the plate in its entirety to the ground, too. You watched as the porcelain shattered and the food scattered across the floor, no horror or regret in your body. Instead, you only felt emptiness at the sight of the mess you’d made. You took a step over it, ignoring it until you had the energy to clean it, and crawled into your bed in a mess of tears.

Thats when it finally started; all of the hurt turned your maturity into childish rage. You were angry with everything, and you were so full of sorrow that it made it difficult to breathe.

Wrath was just around the corner, and you were too far gone to stop it before it started.

An idea blossomed in your mind amidst the chaos, and at first, you denounced it as quickly as it appeared. It was immature, irrational, and would only open the door for even more trouble. But, as you raised a whiskey glass to your lips with a shaking hand in the darkness of your living room on a boring Wednesday night, you could not refute the temptation. You wanted to hurt Jake the same way he hurt you. You wanted to make him suffer just like you did, crying in his brothers arms while he occupied himself with the prettier, more convenient option.

It was a shot in the dark, and it would only work if he felt the same for you as you did for him. In the last few days, you had been seriously debating whether or not he did. He seemed to move on so easily, making you wonder if he was just playing a long game with you or if you’d hurt him bad enough that he knew no other way to cope with his own breaking heart. Then, you remembered his hands on her, and his lips on her, and it sickened you to the core. It made you feel like he really did want the cop out option, or that he wanted someone who was easier and much less broken. He wanted less baggage, less commitment, and with you, he could not have that. You had long passed simplicity, and outgrown casual. He didn’t want you, and you needed to choke down the fact if you ever had a chance at recovery.

But, with the slim chance that he did care for you the same and he was just being immature about his hurt, you knew you had to act if you were ever going to get the justice you so desperately craved. Revenge is a dangerous game, but you had already gambled your life when you offered your heart to him.

After losing so many times, the prospect of winning became all the more appealing. You would gamble your last breath to finally have the upper hand on him.

So on a warm Saturday evening, you found yourself holed up in your bathroom with a curling iron running through your hair. Your lips were painted red to match the skimpy dress that hugged your body, and your eyes were dark with eyeshadow and dramatic eyeliner. You had put on your best perfume, which just so happened to be the one Jake had claimed as his favourite. As you finished up your hair, you sprayed a thin layer of hairspray so it would stay in place. Just as you did so, a knock sounded on your front door. You went to greet your company with a fake smile on your lips and less than genuine enthusiasm. As you opened the door, a nervous flutter in your stomach reminded you that your idea could end catastrophically.

Behind the door was a familiar face, handsome and smiling as his eyes landed on you. But, his beauty was nowhere near Jake’s, and his smile was nice, but not even close to the breathtaking nature of his. A few days prior, you had scrolled through your Facebook friends in search of a suitable candidate to take on a date. When your eyes landed upon a name of a friend you had lost contact with after high school, you thought it would be a great opportunity to catch up while also using him for your ugly ulterior motives. You reached out, and he responded instantly, thus making your work so much less tiresome. Within a day he was flirting, and within two, you had plans for dinner at an expensive restaurant nearby Jake’s apartment complex. He had picked the spot, and the location just happened to relate with your plans.

“Hello, beautiful.”

“Hi,” you continued forcing the smile, hoping that by the time you settled down to eat, the false nature you held in your heart would settle into comfortability. “Come in for a second, I’m just finishing up.” You stepped aside, allowing him entry. His eyes scanned your walls, taking in the decoration, but he didn’t study it for too long before his stare landed back on your chest.

‘Classy.’ You held back an eye roll as you made a mental note of his lack of maturity. Then again, who were you to judge him when you were only going on the date to piss someone else off? He followed as you walked to your bedroom to grab your purse. ‘Perfect.’ You smiled to yourself, your eyes catching the large mirror displayed in front of your bed. You grabbed your purse and looked over at him, noticing that his eyes were still glued on your body.

“A picture before we go?” You asked, nodding towards the mirror. “Wouldn’t want to forget how good we look.”

“Of course.” He agreed, smiling as he took a step towards you.

You grabbed your phone from the bed, pulling up the camera as he positioned himself behind you. His hand landed just above your hip, his fingertips resting near your stomach as his palm cupped around your side. His seemingly expensive watch was displayed perfectly in the frame, making you wonder if he was also using you as a showpiece for his own personal gain. You turned your head towards him, looking upwards at his face. He was considerably taller than you were, so he had to look down to meet your gaze. You gave him a smile, which he returned with little hesitation. You rested your hand just below his and you raised your phone to your chest, centring it between you two and pointing it at the mirror. You snapped a few pictures, looking down at the screen to check if they were sufficient enough to post.

“We look good together,” he noted, his hand still lingering on you.

“We do.” You agreed, biting back a smirk.

‘Don’t get used to it.’ You thought, heaving a little sigh.

“Ready?” He asked. You gave him a nod, slipping on a pair of heels you’d placed by your bed. Without any further conversation, the two of you went to the front door and walked out. You locked it behind you while he started towards his car, opening the passenger door for you. You settled into the seat, noticing the overwhelming scent of cologne still lingering in the air. It was nice, but not nearly as delicious as the one Jake wore so often. You had to stop comparing the two; yes, you were intending to piss Jake off, but you did not want to be stuck in a constant state of wanting him anymore. As much as you were using the boy to make Jake angry, you were also hoping that when the night was through, you would no longer be stuck on him the same way you had been for the last week.

“I’m really glad you agreed to go out with me.” He said, backing out of your driveway and pulling you from your thoughts. “I’m really glad you reached out at all, actually:”

“I am too,” you smiled “it’s going to be really nice to catch up. I haven’t seen you since… well, high school.” You chuckled.

“Yeah,” he nodded, starting the short drive to the restaurant he’d made reservations at. “If I’m being completely honest, I always had a crush on you back then. Guess I was always too scared to say anything.” You tried your best to hold back a grimace at his words. After spending so many months with someone who was all but shy about his feelings, cowardice seemed to turn you off. If Jake were the one sitting in the drivers seat, he already would have told you how badly he wanted to take your clothes off (only after praising your beauty, of course). Now faced with someone who was nearly shaking at the thought of calling you pretty, you missed the blunt nature of his words more than anything.

“Well, I was a bit preoccupied, anyway.” You tried to ease the tension, regretting bringing up your ex the moment the words left your tongue.

“Yeah, that’s true. He was a dick, and I’m glad you got away from him.” He said, turning onto the highway without another word. Your stomach churned at the thought of him, and there was a rush of fear that flooded you. It had been so long since you had associated with someone who knew your ex husband, and you had forgotten how peaceful it was to be around people who did not know he existed. “You look stunning, by the way.” He wanted to change the subject, realizing that talking about your ex while on a date may not have been the best idea.

“Thank you.” You gave a soft smile, looking from him to the phone sitting in your lap. It was time for phase two of your devilish plan. “You look good too.” You said as you picked up your phone. You unlocked the screen, scrolling through the pictures you’d taken moments before and carefully choosing the one where you looked the best. You edited the lighting slightly on your camera app to make it look even better before opening Snapchat. You chose the picture from your camera roll, picking a heart sticker and shrinking it down so it just fit over his face. You hit the ‘post to story’ button, biting down on the inside of your lip as anxiety began to plague you.

Within seconds, the picture was uploaded. Before you even looked away from the screen, you could see that someone had viewed the image. You had your doubts that he’d seen it so quickly, but there was an incessant nagging in the back of your mind to check and see, just in case. You loaded the story, swiping up to see the view list, and sure enough, Jake’s contact was the only name on the page.

‘Let the game begin.’ You thought, unable to hold back the smirk as you locked your phone again.

“So what have you been up to, Scott?” You asked, turning your attention back to the boy behind the wheel. You could feel your phone vibrating against your leg, but you did not care enough to check it just yet.

“I went away for school for a while, then decided to come back home when I finished. My parents had a hard time with me living so far away, and I guess I did, too.”

“That’s sweet.” You smiled, trying not to notice the prickle of sadness that filled your heart when he spoke of his parents. “What are you doing for work?”

“I’m an accountant at my dad’s law firm, now.” You almost forgot he came from money, nodding along as he inadvertently told you all about his generational wealth. You had no idea how it slipped your mind as you were sat in this years newest Audi model, and the Rolex on his wrist was blinding you every time the street lights pooled in through the windows. “I don’t think I need to ask you, though. You’re one of the most popular photographers in the city, now.”

“Some would say that.” You chuckled. “Not sure if I would agree.”

“I would.” He cut you off, not willing to take argument on the fact. “Your work is really good.”

“Thank you.” You felt your cheeks redden at the sentiment. For a moment, you let the guilt get the best of you. You almost asked him to turn around and take you home, needing to confess to your sins and repent for the fact you were only using him for your own benefit. Then, the moment passed as soon as it came. You did not need to tell him and risk hurting his feelings more; you just had to sit through the night and make civil conversation, and maybe share a kiss or two. The thought wasn’t terrible, even if you’d rather be kissing someone else. When you parted ways at the end of the night, you would thank him for the fun. In the morning, you could tell him a half-truth and confess that it wouldn’t work, and you weren’t ready for a commitment like you previously thought.

That would solve it all, right?

You hadn’t thought it all through yet, and you could admit to that. But, you were good at thinking on your feet, and you were certain you would be able to get yourself out of the mess you were making.

“I remember in high school, you would always walk around with that big clunky camera from the yearbook committee. You took pictures of everything, all of the time.” He chuckled. You were only slightly embarrassed at the memory, but you chose not to respond. “I thought it was cute, and I think it’s really cool you’re still doing that. You have to do what makes you happy, right?” He glanced over at you, his dark hair offsetting the paleness of his skin.

He was incredibly attractive, and you could not deny that. His skin was soft, smooth and inviting. A small, slutty part of you wanted to reach out and touch him, but you refused to allow yourself the pleasure. His hair was soft, shaved down on the back of his head and faded perfectly into the longer hair on top. It was black, and looked perfectly silky, tempting you to run your fingers through it. His smile lit up his whole face, the upturn of the corners of his lips (which were soft and pink, the sight alone sending a flutter to your stomach) made dimples appear on his slightly blushed skin and crinkles form by his eyes. His arms underneath the suit jacket seemed strong, and the veiny hands that gripped the steering wheel aided the assumption.

The suit he had on was perfectly tailored to his body, probably with the funds lining his wallet from his fathers law firm. For a second, you forgot why you had asked him out, focused only on his blinding beauty.

Maybe he was exactly what you needed to forget about Jake, and you wondered if should use that to your advantage. His hands seemed like a perfect distraction, and his mouth seemed even better. A single night didn’t seem so bad, and the longer you thought about it, the harder it was to ignore the ache growing between your legs.

But, your anxiety got the best of you yet again. You feared you would end up in an even messier situation than the one you were in already; in love with someone and in bed with another who seemed overly enamoured with you. A love triangle was not what you needed, but it seemed like you had opened the door for it amidst your struggle to feel better. Then, your mind soured when you realized that Jake had likely fallen into bed with the girl from the bar. For all you knew, she might be with him right now, laying in his bed and giggling at his jokes. The thought sickened you, and you looked back at your company for the night.

Whatever happened was meant to happen, you deducted. You would not encourage anything, but who were you to stop it if the opportunity arose?

“You have to do what makes you happy.” You agreed, shooting him your first genuine smile of the night.

What would make you happy, you had no idea.

Surely not by having meaningless sex with a boy you’d seen for the first time in nearly a decade, especially after having such meaningful sex with Jake for so long. You were confused, and you were hurting. Your internal debate was chipping away at your psyche, but you looked too good and you were too committed to the bit to back out now.

When he pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant, relief flooded you as you realized you wouldn’t have to continue on the conversation of happiness and how to find it. Before the two of you made your way inside, you felt your phone vibrating intensely on your lap, signalling an incoming call. You rolled your eyes, glancing down at it just long enough to see Jake’s name on your screen.

You sent the call to voicemail, looking quickly over the text messages that had been filtering in non-stop since you had uploaded the incriminating picture.

😈

Who the fuck is that?

😈

?

That text was immediately followed by a phone call, and when that went unanswered, he tried again.

😈

Answer your fucking phone y/n

It seems as though your plan was working fantastically, and against his better judgement, he had broken the radio silence without a second thought. The next step was simple, but probably the most effective one yet; you clicked on the notification bars, bringing yourself into the chat so the read receipt would show under his last texts. Then, you turned your phone on do not disturb and slipped it in your purse.

Jake hated being ignored, and you knew if he had such a volatile reaction to the picture itself, this would surely send him straight to insanity.

‘Checkmate.’ You thought to yourself, biting back a cocky smirk.

You did not think your plan through nearly enough, and disaster was looming overhead, just out of sight.

“Ready to head in?” You asked, shaking off the nervous jitters in your hands.

“Yeah,” he nodded, opening his car door. Before you could even unbuckle your seatbelt, he had walked to your side of the vehicle and opened your door for you. He extended a hand to you, which you accepted with a smile. He helped you out of the car, and once you were steady on your feet, he slipped an arm around your waist. You tried to ignore the flutter in your belly as he secured his hand to your hip and pulled you closer to him.

The two of you advanced towards the entrance. You stood back while he checked in for the reservation, and within moments, you were being lead to a table on the quieter side of the building. When you sat down, the romance in the room was immediately overwhelming. There was tea light candles lit around the table, and a large centrepiece with flowers and fairy lights sat directly in the middle of the table clothed with a white cloth. Menues were sat in front of you, and the waiter assured you he would be back in a moment to take your drink orders.

“Have you ever been here before?” He asked, looking at you over the top of his menu.

“No, actually.” You shook your head, catching his gaze. Your heart leapt to your throat, finding yourself lost in the dark brown of his irises. Then, your eyes trailed downwards, noticing a flash of toned muscle from underneath his collared shirt. He noticed your reaction, smiling at your intrigue. He had a gold chain clasped around his neck, accentuating the columns of his neck that lead down into his collarbones.

He was stunning, and in another world, you thought you might even pursue him further.

“It’s my first time, too. I’ve heard good things, though.”

“Yeah, apparently it’s the best in town.” You gave a nervous laugh, focused on his hand resting comfortably on the table. You thought it would look much better decorating your thigh.

“What do you want from this, y/n?” He asked, genuine intrigue plaguing him. You tried to swallow your anxiety as you formulated an answer. “You can be honest.”

“When I reached out, I definitely wasn’t expecting anything like this.” You said, truthful in your response. You had hoped, but you definitely did not expect it to go to plan so quickly. “I’m a busy woman, and usually I don’t do this. I was hoping to catch up, but I don’t know how committed I can be to anything serious.”

“I respect that.” He nodded, placing his menu down on the table again. “If I’m being honest, I just went through a pretty rough breakup. I may have jumped a little too quickly.” Your sigh of relief was audible, and quite heavy in the room.

“Me too.” You admitted, the confession weighing on your shoulders. It was the first time you had referred to what you and Jake had as a breakup, but it felt right. What you had was much closer to a relationship than anything else, even if it was not what you wanted to call it. You did not need to divulge into the details of the real reason you agreed to go on a date with him. You felt it would be too harsh.

“So we’re here as friends, and we’ll see how the night goes?” He offered, not seeming too upset about the conclusion. You stared at him for a moment longer, a smirk breaking out on your lips.

“You can say you want sex, Scott. We’re adults, we can be honest.” His cheeks heated at your words, but a smile did form on his face. “I would be lying if I said the thought hadn’t crossed my mind.” He seemed to relax in his seat, now comfortable knowing that he need not worry about impressing you as much.

“Okay,” he chuckled. “A friendly dinner with the intent of sex. No promise of anything more after that.”

“I like that better.” You grinned, also feeling the anxious feeling subside at the agreement. The two of you had drawn a line that both of you were happy with. “So your last girlfriend…?” You asked, treading the topic carefully.

“Yeah,” he laughed, nodding as you asked. “We were together for a while. Three years or so. Couple months ago, I came home and she was gone. All of her shit was packed up and when I called to check on her, went straight to voicemail. Never heard from her again.”

“Oh, wow.” You breathed, your eyes widening slightly. “I’m sorry, honey. People are the worst.” He shrugged, looking to the side as the waiter approached the table again. He ordered a bottle of wine, waiting until he walked away to speak again.

“Shit happens. Sometimes you just have to take it as it comes.” He explained, not feeling any need to go any further into it. “And I’m assuming your boyfriend was no better?”

“No,” you laughed, looking down at your manicured hands. “But I don’t think you could really call him my boyfriend, anyway. More like a guy who only showed up to make my life more complicated. I thought we were exclusive until we got into a fight, which I’ll admit was my fault. We made up when we ran into each other at the bar, then his date for the night showed up.” You gave a tight-lipped smile, the memory causing a bitterness to rise in your chest.

“People are the worst.” He reiterated your point, sending you sympathetic eyes.

“They are indeed.” You agreed.

“So am I on a revenge date?” He asked, picking up on your nervous stare. “It’s okay if I am. Either way, I’m still the one who gets to spend the evening with you.” He flashed you a breathtaking smile, showing his enthusiasm either way.

“When you put it like that, it makes me sound terrible.” You said, your cheeks burning red and incriminating you even further. You were terrible, and you deserved to be treated as such. Asking him on a date to piss someone else off was a horrible thing to do, and you never should have done it in the first place.

“Not if I support it.” He shrugged, thanking the waiter as he dropped off the bottle of wine and two glasses. He poured two for you both, sliding one in your direction. “Like I said, beautiful. I get to have dinner with you either way.” You reached for the glass, taking a long sip. Your red lipstick decorated the rim, claiming the beverage as your own. “Just friends is okay with me if you’d rather do that. I’m just happy to see you after all these years.”

“I’m happy to see you, too. You were always great company back then.”

“I told a joke or two every now and again.” He laughed, remembering his goofy stature and desire to be the class clown. You wished so badly that you could just get over yourself, to move on and enjoy the time you were spending with an old friend. You wanted to be done with Jake and lean across the table to kiss the incredibly attractive man who was smiling over at you, but you felt frozen in place. As nice as it was to be with Scott, and as much as you wished to purge Jake from your life, you could not seem to do it. The thought of kissing someone else nearly made you sick, which also brought you to the horrendous reality that it was so easy for Jake. He was not caught up on you the way you were with him, and you needed to understand that in order to get better.

“Do you remember when you super glued all of Mr. Barksdale’s stuff to his desk?” You giggled, recalling the memory fondly as you searched for a subject to change the conversation up.

“How could I forget? He turned as red as the dress you’re wearing.” He let out another laugh, this one genuine straight from his belly. You could not help but join, finding the sound incredibly infectious. “He was so mad at me, I thought I was going to get expelled.”

“We all did. He hated you.” You grinned, wiping tears from your eyes that formed while amidst the laughing fit.

“Let’s be honest, most of the teachers did. I was a little shit.” He said, leaning back in his chair to calm himself down. Once he recovered, he took a long sip from his own wine. “One time, I took all of the free condoms from the guidance counsellers office and put one on every door handle in the building.”

“Oh god, that was you?!” You exclaimed, causing him to let out another belly-laugh. The happiness floating in the air was real, and you did not need to fake the joy written all over your face. It was the first time in days you had genuinely smiled, and weeks since you’d laughed like you were in that moment. It was freeing, and it helped you realize that there was life after Jake Kiszka, just the same as there was before.

“It was.” He nodded, wiping away his own tears.

“I had to wash my hands every time I opened a door for like a week!” You blamed him, but you knew it was due to the lack of janitors employed at the public schools. “And they never bothered to replace the free condoms, either.”

“You went looking for those a lot?” He teased, still trying to rid himself of the fit of giggles.

“It was way more convenient than buying them!” You plead your case, not really caring about the joke at your expense.

“Right,” he nodded, exhaling a long sigh after gaining his composure. “You see? I’m always down for a little mischief. Plus, if you’re using me to make someone jealous, I kind of take that as a compliment. Means you think I’m cute.”

“I always thought you were cute,” you rolled your eyes. “Funny and rich? How could I not?”

“So shallow,” he let out a disaproving tsk, but he did not seemed bothered by your comment. “I think that being friends would be nice right now. Who knows, maybe in the future, it’ll work out in our favour?” He offered. “If not, I’ll still be happy to have you as a friend again. If I remember correctly, you were a fierce little sidekick to have, and a pretty good wing-woman.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Your voice was shrill, surprised at such a statement.

“Oh, come on!” He rolled his eyes. “You were the first to tell someone off if they deserved it. Remember Alex Kiser, that little asshole on the football team?”

“Of course I do.” You scoffed.

“He seemed pretty intent on making my life hell for years, and then one day when we were in the library, you got up in his face and said everything that you had on your mind. He left crying, and I don’t think he ever bothered me again.” Your cheeks burned at the memory, not realizing that your gall had been so memorable that it stuck with him that long after it happened. “And junior prom! You helped me make the poster to ask Rachel Miller, only after you talked me up for months when you sat with her in History class.” You finished your wine as he spoke, trying to hide the blush on your cheeks. When you sat your glass down, he refilled it for you.

“Okay, okay.” You groaned, hiding your face in your hands to save yourself the extra embarrassment. You hated thinking about your antics in high school.

“What I mean is, you were a great friend back then, and I’d be lucky to have you as a friend, now.” He said, reaching over the table and placing a gentle hand on your arm. You peeked at him through the cracks of your fingers, the blush still lingering on your skin. After a few seconds, his hand trailed up to meet one of yours. He locked a finger around your own and gently pulled your hand away from your face.

“Thank you, Scott.” You mumbled, averting your gaze to the white tablecloth. His eyes were too pretty to keep watching, and you feared that with another few sips of wine, you would end up making an even worse decision for yourself. “Friends would be very nice. I haven’t had many as of late. I think when I left Seth, I cut off everyone. Wanted to start over, and I did.”

“We can do friends, y/n. I’d love to be friends, actually.” He promised, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “With a little jealousy on the side, of course.”

“Right, how could I forget.” You chuckled.

“Is it the type of revenge that makes him regret everything, or the kind that makes him angry enough to show up here tonight? Cause I can play both parts. I make for a phenomenal actor.”

“Oh yeah? You take up Drama Club in university?” You raised an eyebrow.

“No, but I did have to pretend to be interested in Macroeconomics for three whole months, and I promise you it was not easy.”

“You poor thing.” You smirked, your fake sympathy completely apparent.

“So what is it, sunshine? I’ll put on a good show.”

“Both, I think. I’m not sure what I want yet, or if it’ll even do anything.” You shrugged. “He seemed quite uninterested at the bar that night.”

“Have you checked your phone yet?”

“Not since we came in here.” You admitted, not shy of the fact you had been completely immersed in his company. You pulled it from your purse, turning on the screen to see if he had tried to message you again. Your eyes nearly popped out of your head at the amount of notifications piling on the screen.

“Seems like it’s working.” He smiled. “You think another picture will do him in?”

“I think it might give him a heart attack,” You muttered, letting your eyes wander over the few words you could read from the notifications. He was pissed, and in some strange way, it made you feel good. “Let’s do it.” You said, unlocking the screen and ignoring everything Jake had to say about your night out on the town. You opened your camera again, looking around the table while thinking of the best course of action.

“If you’re looking for a movie-style blowout, I suggest putting the menus in the picture.” He offered.

“You’re a genius.”

“Evil genius,” he corrected, positioning both menus under your hands that were already intertwined. Without moving too much, he moved the wine bottle so it was in clear view of the camera too. “My only stipulation is that we have to go for lunch soon, just so you can tell me how it went.”

“Are you playing wingman, now?” You questioned. He gave a sheepish smile and a shrug of his shoulders.

“I was kind of hoping that you might let me have the pictures too, so maybe I could do the same.” He explained. “Not to get her back, but I know me going on a date with an absolute smokeshow would definitely piss her off.”

“Of course.” You laughed at the universe, finding it perfectly comedic that the two of you would be going through such similar things. Hand in hand, you snapped a few pictures of the sight while ensuring the restaurant name was easily recognizable. You fixed up the image, adjusting the brightness and contrast before opening Instagram and uploading it to your story. Once it posted successfully, you shoved your phone back in your purse.

“Now we wait.” He said, almost excited for what was to come next. He’d loved attention, and he was always ready to be the star of the show.

“What if he hits you?” You said, finally realizing how poorly the night could go.

“I can take it,” he promised, no real fear over a fight. “So what’s he like, anyway? He must be something special to have you so enamoured with him.” A sad smile crossed your lips as you thought of a good answer, unsure of exactly how to word it.

“He is.” You muttered. “I gave up on dating and romance, and when I met him, I still felt that way. But after a while of spending every day together and doing things that I’ve never done with anyone else, it started to feel normal. It was more strange when he wasn’t around. I fell without even realizing it, and I was in way too deep before I could even admit it to myself. He turned my world upside down, and he made me feel things I never thought I would feel again, but he took it away too, and I don’t know how to move on from it. I don’t know what to do, or how to act, or anything.” You sighed, suddenly realizing all of the incriminating things you’d said. You looked up, plagued with guilt for talking about another man so intensely while on a date, but he was only smiling at your words.

“You can’t let that go, y/n.” He said, catching your eye to show his sincerity. “After everything you’ve been through, you deserve the love you always should have been given.”

“Stop,” you waved him off, overwhelmed with the profound statement.

“Does he make you happy?” He asked.

“Yeah,”

“Do you want to make it work?” You had to think about it, but eventually you gave a nod.

“I think I do, but I don’t know how.”

“If he feels the same, you’ll figure it out.” He promised, taking another sip of wine.

“Do you want me to pay for the wine? I feel terrible about how this turned out.” You laughed.

“Of course not,” he scoffed. “I’m having a fantastic time. You can buy lunch when you catch me up on all of the details.”

“Sounds like a deal.” You grinned, happy that he was so understanding. Before you had the chance to speak again, your attention was grabbed by a loud voice booming over the sound of soft classical music and low chatter. It sounded once, and you thought you might be able to ignore it. You couldn’t make out what it was saying, and it did not seem like the disturbance would continue. You took another sip from your wine, finishing off the second glass before you tried to continue the conversation.

As the bottom of the glass touched down on the table, your gaze shifted to the newest excitement in the room. Your stomach dropped and your eyes grew wide. You couldn’t find the words to communicate with Scott, so instead you gave his leg a gentle kick under the table to warn him of the fact that Jake had indeed cracked the code, and was pissed off enough to show up and get the answers he so desperately needed. Before your date could even catch on to what you were trying to tell him, Jake was close enough that his cologne was suffocating you and you could see his chest heaving with anger.

“Get up.” He ordered before he even stopped in front of the table.

“Jake, what the-“

“Get the fuck up, y/n. We’re going home.”

“You can’t just show up and tell me to leave.” You scoffed, still trying to digest the fact that he was in front of you. Part of you thought that the picture might push him too far, but a bigger one believed that he did not care enough about you to let it bother him that much. Now that he was in front of you, clearly dressed to impress you and outshine your date (or, his new-found enemy, rather), you could not seem to grasp the fact that after everything, he still wanted you. He sat up at night thinking about you, wondering if things would ever get better. He tossed and turned, hating that his bed still smelled like your shampoo, and he sat by his phone every minute of the day waiting for you to reach out. He wanted you just as much as you wanted him, but for some reason, it was too surreal for you to accept it.

“I’m not asking.” He made that point abundantly clear.

“Hey, man, I don’t mean-“

“I’m not fucking talking to you, am I?” Jake’s head turned sharply towards Scott, an abundance of anger pooling in his eyes. If Scott cared for his own safety, you hoped that he would heed the warning.

“Fuck off, Jake.” Although you had poked the bear, you were having a hard time finding any sympathetic feelings for his distress. You knew that he might show up, but it did not change your naturally strong personality. You lived to fight with him on every stance he took, and now seemed no different. His harsh approach and cocky tone were pissing you off more by the minute.

‘Who does he think he is? Showing up after days of no contact, demanding I go with him? What a-‘

“I’m not going to say it again,” Jake spoke, cutting your thoughts short. “Get up, go outside, and get in the car.” His dangerously low voice sent a shiver down your spine. “I promise that you do not want me to have to repeat myself.” He caught your eye, the look familiar and more chilling than it ever was before. It made your thighs squeeze together instinctively, the need for friction on your aching core more dire than anything else you were feeling in that moment. You had no fear that he would hurt you, but you knew that once the two of you were alone, punishment would be due. If you survived the horrific aftermath of the fire that was blazing in both of your hearts, of course.

“Maybe she’d cooperate if you weren’t talking to her like a fucking dog.” Scott cut in, finding Jake’s tone too strong for his liking. He was not battling for your affection, but he did not care for the way he was speaking to you. He stood, ready to get between the two of you, but Jake turned on his heels so fast that it made your head spin. Scott was easily a head taller than Jake, but despite the physical difference, Jake was holding all of the power.

“You don’t get to talk to me about her, ever.” He took a step closer, fuming at the thought of your name on his lips. His finger was pointed at him, pushing into his chest further with each word he spoke. For a moment you feared that he might strangle him, realizing the look in his eye was far more dangerous than you’d ever seen before. You stepped towards Jake, placing a delicate hand on his shaking arm. At your touch, he immediately relaxed and lowered his hand.

“Let’s go.” You said, pushing Jake towards the door. After a moment of a staring contest between the two, Jake allowed you to nudge him in the right direction. As you walked behind him, ensuring he wouldn’t turn around, you turned your head back to look at Scott, sending him an apologetic stare. He raised an eyebrow, silently asking if you were okay. You gave a nod alongside a subtle wink, which he returned after he was certain you were okay.

When you managed to get Jake to the front door, the strength in which you were holding his arm increased in an angry fashion. In the parking lot, you felt the need for damage control flee you, and your own pent up rage began to surface. “What the fuck was that about?” You let go of his arm with a little more force than intended, pushing him forward slightly as your hand disconnected from him.

“Who the fuck was that, y/n?” He said, turning around to face you with the same fire burning in his eyes. “And why the hell are you on a date with him?”

“I think you lost all rights to ask me that.” You warned, scowling at his forward questions. “Who I spend time with is none of your business anymore, and neither is my dating life.”

“None of my business?” He hissed, stepping towards you as he spoke. A cloud of wrath was forming around the two of you, locking you in and locking the rest of the world out. There was no escaping it even if you wanted to. “You are my business. If you’re safe, if you’re happy, all of it, whether you like it or not!”

“Oh, yeah, because you’re so concerned whether I’m fucking happy or not!” You exploded, throwing your hands out and landing your palms flat on his chest. In a sudden burst of emotion, you pushed him backwards, causing him to stumble. “It sure meant a whole lot to you when you were practically fucking that ditzy blonde in a booth in my bar!” He was stunned at your words and the strength in which you delivered them. “You don’t get to show up here and ruin my night and then pretend you fucking care, because you don’t and you never have!” You pointed a finger at him, uncaring of the grand show of emotion in the middle of the parking lot. “You apologize and tell me how much I mean to you, you have sex with me in the bathroom because you can’t wait until we get home, and then you make out with someone else in front of me all night!” Your voice cracked with tears, all of the hurt you’d been feeling pouring out at once. “Did you just say all that so you could fuck me? Or so you could leave it on good terms while you left for someone better?”

“Y/n-“ he warned, stepping forward again.

“Shut the fuck up and let me talk!” You begged, tears pooling in your eyes. “Was that all I was to you after all? Sex and somewhere to sleep for the night? Were you just keeping me around so you didn’t have to be alone while you looked for something else? Someone with less baggage, someone who’s easier to deal with than I am?” He reached up, grabbing your wrist tightly in his hand while his eyes warned you to back down.

“Get in the car.” He said, his voice as quiet as a whisper, but as impactful as a punch.

“I don’t want to go home with you, Jake! I just want to know the fucking truth, and then I never have to see you again!” His grip only tightened as you spoke.

“Get in the car, and I will answer your ridiculous fucking questions.” He tried again, keeping his cool because he knew that you were hurting much more than he was. The wine was clouding your mind, making your chest ache more than it ever had, and allowing you to make a fool of yourself in the public parking lot. “We will talk about this once I get you home safe. I’m not letting you get in a cab like this, and I need to know that you’re going to be okay.”

“Stop pretending that you care!” You tried to shake out of his grip, but he was much stronger than you. The longer he continued the act, the worse your heart hurt. You were confused, tipsy, and more than anything, heartbroken. You could not allow yourself to believe that he cared this much, and every time you let yourself second guess your doubt, the picture of him kissing the blonde at the bar plagued your mind.

“I’m not pretending!” He finally reached his limit, yelling back at you with just as much force. “I would never lie to you about that. If you know me at all, you’d know how much you fucking mean to me!” His voice cracked too, but he did better than you at covering it up. “Now get in the car, and then you can yell at me, and you can hit me, and you can scream all you want.” He was not willing to negotiate; his eyes were heavy with anger and his expression was stony. With a huff, you pushed past him, but you did as he asked and you climbed into the passenger seat of his car.

You slammed the door behind you, tossing your purse on the floor as you crossed your arms over your chest quite like a child amidst a temper tantrum. He got in the drivers side, closing his door with the same force as he shoved the keys in the ignition. Within seconds, he was pulling out of the parking spot and began driving down the streets to bring you home. You kept your mouth shut despite wanting to fill the stale air with cruel words and harsh insults. As he drove, you tapped your foot against the ground to pass the seconds until you were home.

You had not thought your plan all the way through; you wanted to hurt him, to piss him off and make him feel all the same ways you did at the bar that night. When talking with Scott, the prospect of making Jake angry enough to show up at the restaurant was intriguing, and definitely thrilling. Once the adrenaline wore off and you were left alone with the rotten feeling that had been steadily growing in your heart, you realized you did not want to see Jake at all. Having him in front of you reminded you of all of the feelings you were trying to bury, and seeing his face only made you fall in love with him even further. You were so angry with him that it made your head spin, but you cared about him so deeply that you were sickened at the thought.

Love itself is a funny thing after all, for not even the devil himself could understand it.

Jake's knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel, unable to hide the intensity of his emotions. When you allowed yourself to peek at him from the passenger side, you could not help but feel enamored with his face, even if wrath was wrapping itself around every feature that he had.

It almost drove you crazy, the seriousness etched into his stature. The downturn of his lips, leaving just the ghost of his earlier scowl would be off putting to some others, but you found beauty even in the midst of his pain. The furrow of his eyebrows was minimal, but you were drawn into the tiny wrinkles it left on his tanned skin. His eyes were black with anger, and he was almost unrecognizable.

To anyone untouched by the devil, the man before you would strike fear. To you, submerged and nearly buried underneath the sin, his wrath was like a drug. You could feel it seeping under your skin, igniting every nerve with flames and striking the match for your own. The devil within you fed off of his wicked heart, and his own evil did the same with yours. Between you was empty space, stale air that did not even hold a whisper of relief from the deafening silence. From nothing grew an unholy feeling. There was no room in the vehicle for anything lesser; the euphemisms and illusions you had previously drawn about his lack of morality no longer fit the narrative. Satan himself sat beside you, horns growing rapidly and his skin blistering red. You could not fear him, because when you turned to look out the window, you noticed your reflection and saw the pitchfork in your own hand as your eyes turned black as night.

The sin had finally caught up, and not even a priest could excise the demons from the two of you. Salvation was no longer an option, and the only thing left to do was face the devil within yourselves. The seventh, and the deadliest capital vice was begging to be heard. It was bleeding you both dry, the wrath so abundant that it was replacing all of the blood coursing through your veins with its own ferocious fury. Wrath was sewn into your skin, tying knots around your lips and blinding you with rage. It was wrapped around your neck, choking you and laughing as you begged for air. The two of you had done so much damage that you had turned yourselves into the personification of evil itself.

Walking away was the safest option, but after a lifetime of running, staying was the only thing the two of you wanted to do.

How pitiful to learn the lesson only after it manifested itself to be lethal.

“You’ve got nothing to say, now? Only want to fight with me if we can cause a scene?” He asked, flipping on the turn signal with nearly enough force to break it clean from the car.

“As if you need any help getting attention.” You rolled your eyes, muttering it to yourself. “As if I’m the one who fucking caused the scene in the first place.” You said the second part louder, stronger so he could hear the disdain in your voice.

“Like you weren’t trying to start something by posting those pictures.” He growled, the memory striking him particularly unpleasantly. The thought of another man’s hands on you was enough to drive him to violence. “Sorry, I forgot that I always have to be the bad guy.” He added, his grip tightening even further on the wheel as he turned off the highway.

“Would you fucking quit with the pity party?” You exploded, finally turning towards him. “Do you really think that you’re innocent? From what I understand, exclusivity doesn’t mean very much to you. If it did, you wouldn’t have been finger-fucking your side piece at the bar while I had to sit and watch!” The obscenity of your words didn’t even phase you, your anger so flaming that you were willing to say anything to get under his skin. “Or is it only okay when you do it, Jacob? You can fuck whoever you want, but I have to sit there and stay loyal to someone who doesn’t fuck about me! I’ve done that once before, but you’re not nearly special enough for me to want to do it again!”

“You didn’t stay and let me explain myself! I was only with her because I didn’t know how else to get your attention! You make me fall in love with you, and then you push me away. Then you tell me you care about me, and you walk away!” He brought his hand back, slamming it back down on the wheel with an intensity that made your head spin. “If you weren’t so fucking stubborn, maybe we would have went home together instead!”

At the sound of the guilty confession, your world came crashing down around you.

Your worst fear had been spoken into existence, and you weren’t sure if you could survive the grief plaguing you.

“Yeah, it’s all my fault Jake.” You nodded, attempting to blink away the tears that were falling faster than you could comprehend. “It’s my fault that you broke the only promise I ever asked you to keep, and it’s my fault that I didn’t tell you I loved you after I explicitly told you that I don’t do that, and it’s my fucking fault that instead of being an adult about it and talking about your feelings, you buried your dick in another girl!” You slammed your fist against his dashboard, your emotions piling up so high that a physical release was the only way to calm them down. “It’s all my fault, and I’m just the fucking worst! God forbid you take some accountability for your own stupidity!” Your hand slammed down again with every point you made, the ache spreading up the entirety of your arm. For a moment he feared you might set off the airbag with the strength you were using to hit the dash.

As you retracted your hand from the scene of the crime, he pulled into your driveway. You rubbed your knuckles, soothing the ache in your bones until the car rolled to a stop. As soon as it did, you were unbuckling your seatbelt and opening the door. You grabbed your purse as you stepped outside, slamming the door before he could try to stop you. But, he was fast, and he was not willing to let you lock him out. He shut the car off and was hot on your trail before you even made it to the front steps. You fumbled with your keys as you tried to unlock your door, and when you finally saw the inside of your house, relief flooded you. You stepped inside, moving quickly to try and keep him out, but his hand collided with the door as you tried to shut it in his face.

“Take a fucking hint, asshole.” You spat, pushing against him.

“I’m not done talking!” He argued, barely straining as he rivaled your strength.

“I am!” You cried, begging him to understand. “I’m done talking, I’m done fighting, I’m done, Jake! I can’t fucking do this anymore!”

“I’m not letting you go, y/n.” He said, calmer than he was moments before. “I’m not letting you walk away again. I won’t walk away again.”

“Stop it!” You exploded, dropping your arm from the door in a moment of pure weakness. You were too distracted by the moment to remember your vow to keep him locked out. His words were too much, and it made all of the strength flee you and the pain grow larger. More than anything, it made your already poor judgment cloud even more. “Stop doing that, Jake! Stop hurting me and then telling me you care. Stop trying to be what we both know you aren’t!”

“What, y/n?” He scowled, his jaw clenched so tightly you feared he might pop a blood vessel. “Say it! Say the word! Stop being so fucking afraid of it!”

“You’re not my fucking boyfriend!” You yelled, reaching your breaking point. With that, he pushed the door open and stepped towards you. He reached out, landing one hand on your hip while the other one cupped your cheek. He kicked the door shut with a force as he leaned forward, capturing you in a kiss. The change in pace made you weak in the knees, but his advance was not unwelcome. The anger that was so evident in his features had been causing a mess between your legs since you first laid eyes in him.

The kiss was messy, both of you still fighting for control. He continued walking, keeping a firm grip on your hip so you didn’t lose your balance. You stepped in time with him, letting him lead you wherever he pleased. When your ass landed roughly against the lip of your kitchen counter, your stomach began to twist into knots. He pulled back, his chest heaving with the remnants of anger and now, desire.

“You’re right, angel. I’m not your fucking boyfriend.” He said, his expression completely foreign. It was like a stranger was standing before you, but it was not making you fearful; you were aching to know this version of him, and you wanted to know him as intimately as the situation would allow. He seemed like a man gone mad, all humanity gone from his eye and sex being the only thing that held any value to him.

For once, sex was finally the only thing the two of you were concerned about. No love, no respect, and not even any kind of affection. It was purely primal, and comfort was the last thing he had in mind.

But even more so than that, sex was the only way the two of you knew how to communicate, and he was using it to his advantage.

“I’m not even your friend.” He said, his eyes dark with lust. “I’m just sex to you, yeah?” His fingers were burning into your hip, leaving trails of blistering fire on your skin as they wandered to your thigh, settling just under the hem of your dress. “That’s all I’m good for, right sweetheart?” He moved his hips towards you slightly, but with force, causing your ass to press further into the marble countertop. You let out a gasp of pain, the sting radiating deep into the muscle as the solid surface settled in at a bruising angle.

“Y-yes.” You thought you could keep up the act, but his eyes intently focused on your own were sending you into a downward spiral of love for him. He was the whole world, and you were just living in it. You couldn’t lie enough to cover the fact, even if every word you spoke for the rest of your life was laced with dishonesty.

“I’m just something to help you get off,” he continued, his hand slipping under the fabric of your dress. “To fantasize about when your fingers are playing with that tight little cunt?”

“Yep,” you said, more confidently than the last time.

“Good to know,” he growled, pulling at the fabric of your dress until he heard the seams pop. You were so enthralled in his performance that you could not even find the will to care. “Now I can fuck you like a whore, and I don’t have to feel bad about it.” With that, he gave another hard tug and the stitching on one side of your dress came loose completely. It slumped from your body, falling around his hand in a pathetic heap. He let go of it, letting it fall to the floor without ever breaking eye contact. “If sex is all you want, I’ll fuck you just like you deserve.”

You wanted to fight with him; the anger was still bubbling under your skin and begging to be let out, but now that you were naked in front of him and his eyes showed unwavering dominance, you fell back into the roll with ease. He watched your face, not searching for discomfort, but obedience. This was not a debate, and you did not even pretend to hold any of the power. He slid his belt from the loops on his dress pants, folding it over on itself and gripping it tightly in his hand. Slowly, he placed the leather against your bare thigh, looking down as he slowly pulled it across your skin. The light tickle sent a shiver down your spine and you found yourself staring at his face, wondering what was running through his mind.

Had you pushed him too far?

Was he really stopping the whole conversation just to fuck you?

You were confused, and still incredibly hurt, but the arousal pooling between your legs was undeniable. There was so much that needed to be discussed, but the longer the minutes dragged on, the less you cared about working it out.

He reached out with both hands, his grip holding on your hips. In one swift motion, he lifted you and placed you on the cold countertop. You jumped at the sudden chill that ran through you, but he did not comment, nor did he even seem to notice. With little warning, he snaked his hand between your legs and roughly pulled one to the side. His eyes were still focused on your cunt, his gaze never faltering. He didn’t want to look at your face; he didn’t want to see the contempt you held for him in your eyes, nor did he want to see the pain he caused any longer. He couldn’t look you in the eyes and face you like a man; he was angry, and hurt, but most of all, he could not forgive himself for how much he’d hurt you.

“You want to act like a whore, I’ll treat you like one, angel. Taking guys out on dates just to piss me off, posting pictures and ignoring me when I call…” he brought his hand to your heat, running his fingers through the wetness and spreading it to your clit. “If you wanted me to come over and fuck you, all you had to do was ask.” He said, his tone eerily calm. His middle finger tracing agonizingly slow circles around the sensitive nub, making your want to buck your hips forward into his hand for more. You needed him the same as the starving need food, but you were unwilling to sacrifice your dignity while showing him. “Or did you want to take him home? Have him between your legs like this, trying to make you feel as good as I can?”

You were faced with two options; tell the truth and fuel his ego, or lie and make him even angrier with you.

You were foolish to think that the devil would ever allow for the truth in your godless relationship.

“I did.” You replied, causing him to look up and finally meet your eye. The animalistic look was enough to drive you crazy, but you stayed put, pretending that the emotion in his eye did not phase you at all. “And I know he would’ve done it better than you can.” At that, his fingers stopped all movement. His grip tightened around the leather belt in his hand, tempted to use it, but knowing that it would not change your attitude. Instead, he gave you a smirk, fake but effective.

“You think he can fuck you like I can?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. You held back a frown when he moved his hand away from you, completely cutting off contact. “You think he can make you feel better than I can?”

“Yeah, I do.” Your false confidence was astonishing, and even you believed it yourself for a moment.

“Okay, angel.” He nodded, taking a step back from you. He reached down and grabbed your purse that fell to the floor, opening it and grabbing your phone from inside. He dropped the bag to the ground again and tossed the phone on the counter beside you. Your stomach twisted with anxiety, wondering what he was doing. “If you think he can do a better job, call him. I’ll go home, and he can finish what I started, but I’ll be waiting for you to text me, asking me to come back because he couldn’t fucking do it right.”

You were appalled at the thought, but not because of his cockiness. That was normal now, and not often did it phase you. You were sickened at the thought of having someone else do what you so badly wanted Jake to do. Hours ago, you had convinced yourself that hooking up with another guy would help ease your pain, but now that Jake was in front of you again, you could not stomach the idea of another man touching you the same way.

He watched your face, taking in your shocked expression. He was bluffing; he would not let anyone else touch you like this in a million years, and he definitely would not hand out the invitation himself. His hope was that you realized that he was what you wanted, and not the guy you went to dinner with. He knew you well enough to know that you would never do such a thing, which is why he was confident enough to offer the idea. When you didn’t respond, he let out a low chuckle.

“That’s what I thought.”

Damn him and his ability to see right through you.

“Now shut your fucking mouth and behave yourself.” He said, taking a step back even further. “Since I can’t do it right, you can get yourself off.”

“Jake-“ you protested, unhappy with his decision.

“I don’t want to hear another word. YouI’ll do as you’re told.” He cut you off, giving you a stern warning. His nostrils flared slightly with anger, and the muscles in his jaw were tense. You bit back a snarky comment, clearly upset by his ridiculous request, but you let your hand sink between your legs anyway. He moved back towards the counter opposite of you, leaning against it and crossing his arms over his chest while he watched you run your own fingers through your folds. He still had his belt clenched tightly in his hand, making sure it didn’t stray too far. You knew he was itching for a chance to use it, and you couldn’t deny your own desire to feel it across your skin. You could see the erection growing in his pants, tenting the zipper and straining the fabric. You wanted him more than you ever wanted anything in your life, and sitting there touching yourself while he was so accessible was equal to torture.

Then again, that was his intent; he did not want to please you like he was often eager to do. He was angry with you, and when you anger the devil, punishment is not only expected, but ensured.

“Like this, sir?” You taunted, slowly trailing your middle finger to your clit, tracing slow circles around it. You wanted praise, but he wasn’t generous enough to give it to you. Even more than that, you wanted to push him enough to make him do the job himself, rather than sit and watch. He did not respond, but his eyes were intently focused on your hand as you touched yourself. Beneath the rage still lingering in his gaze, there was a sense of longing for you. He was torturing you, but he was doing the same to himself by having to hold back.

Since the night at the bar, he hadn’t been able to get the thought of you out of his head. Worse yet, he couldn’t forget the feeling of being inside of you, your cunt clenching around him as you dissolved into a mess below him, desperate for an orgasm. Being near you was like getting a fix of a drug he’d been withdrawing from for weeks, and he wasn’t sure if he could handle watching you get yourself off. There was a small fear inside him that he might come undone at the sight of you in pleasure alone.

You anchored your arm on the counter behind you, holding your weight on the single limb as you leaned backwards, allowing him a better view of the show you were putting on. You added more pressure to your finger, feeling your breath hitch in your throat as a wave of relief washed over you. You kept your eyes on his face, only allowing yourself to look at his cock strained in his pants every so often, knowing that it would only make your neediness worse. His gaze was still locked on your hand, and his chest was deeply rising and falling with every breath he took to calm himself. He was irresistible, and you did not know if you could keep going without as much as his hand on you in support.

“Oh, fuck.” You gasped, feeling a pressure begin to build in your belly. It was nothing like how he could make you feel, but it was something, and that’s all that mattered. Progress, even if it was slight, meant that you were a little closer to him taking over for you.

“That’s it, sweetheart.” He unraveled his arms from across his chest, reaching down and adjusting himself in his pants to relieve some of the pressure. “Listening isn’t so hard, is it?”

“Fuck off,” you rolled your eyes, still working your way up to an orgasm.

“Watch it,” he warned, unhappy with your sharp tone. “You’re lucky I’m even letting you get yourself off.”

“Oh you’re so generous.” You scoffed, your hand still working at yourself. The angry banter seemed to be helping your search for a climax. “Jake the hero! He’s just so fantastic and everyone should bow down and kiss his feet! I’m so happy to do all the hard work for you, thank you so much.” You grumbled, trying to keep your words as nice as you could despite wanting to tear a strip off of him. You were still angry, even underneath all of the sexual tension, and you were a bomb waiting to explode. You feared that if he pushed you just a little too far, the night would come to an end without any sexual gratification at all.

“You’re going to start with me again?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he stepped towards you.

“Can’t take it?” You asked, a bit breathless from the pleasure pulsing through you. Your cheeks were tinged red from the feeling, and from the anger still simmering from earlier. Your skin was sticky with sweat and you were growing more desperate by the second. The sight of your struggle made him smile, knowing how badly you wanted him to reach out and touch you.

Once he was within an arm's reach, he settled himself between your legs again as your fingers remained in a steady pace on your clit. Before you could speak again, he drew his arm back and brought the belt down on your thigh. You let out a hiss of pain, instinctively trying to shy away from him, but his hand shot to your hip to hold you in place. Once you calmed down from the initial shock, you relaxed into his hold, surprised that he hit you as hard as he did.

“One chance, Angel.”

“W-what?” You asked, distracted from the rapidly changing environment.

“Tell me what the fuck your problem is.” He said, looking down his nose at you. In that moment, you could see his humanity return to him again. He cared so much, but he was sick of scaring you away by loving you. This was his only way to get you to tell him what was wrong without you running away. He’d been waiting for the opportunity to come all night, and he wasn’t letting it pass him by. “Get it all out now, ‘cause once you cum, I get my turn.” You were dumbfounded, unsure of how to respond to his request.

“You want me to berate you while I get myself off?” You questioned. “That’s a little fucked up, even for you, no?” Your tone was airy even after you tried to maintain your composure. The pressure in your belly was unbearable, but you slowed your movements to allow yourself some time.

“I want you to get rid of that fucking attitude.” He corrected, grabbing your cheeks between his forefinger and his thumb. “Look at me and tell me what’s wrong. I want to hear all of it, and don’t you dare stop touching yourself.”

“All of it?” You clarified, hoping he was being serious and you weren’t trapping yourself. He gave one curt nod, showing you he meant what he said. You withdrew a long breath, gathering your thoughts before you began. “You’re a selfish, ignorant prick, Jake. You promised me that you wouldn’t fall in love and fuck this up, and then you did it anyway.” You huffed, finding your temper hard to keep up while looking into his eyes. “And when I told you I wasn’t ready, you played the victim and told me I was only good for sex. Why do you think I was scared of dating you, hmm?” You pressed, waiting for him to answer before you continued. When you were met with nothing but a harsh stare, you continued on, anyway. “Because I was fucking terrified of you lying, or believing you when you say all of that stuff just for you to change your fucking mind, and you proved me right!”

“Mhm,” he hummed, allowing you to continue.

“A-and… oh, fuck.” You groaned, your eyes fluttering closed for a moment as an intense wave of pleasure ran through you. “And I went to that bar that night to forget about you, but you showed up, and I cared about you enough to be the bigger person and apologize. I felt like I was taking a step in the right direction, and I was finally able to move past all of that fucking trauma and fear. I felt good, I was happy, and when we left that bathroom I was ready to take the next step.” You confessed, the words weighing heavily on the both of you. Your mind was hazy, and you weren’t sure if you would have said it all if you were in a proper state of mind. “Then I got to meet your date for the night, and it got me thinking that all men really are just the same. I wondered if it was me, if I was too much, or if there was too much baggage, or if I was too complicated for you to handle. I cried to your brother about you while you sat in that booth and made my worst fucking nightmare come true.”

“Keep going.” He encouraged, placing his belt on the counter and moving your hand out of way. It broke your focus, the sudden loss of contact devestating for you. Then, he moved his hand in place of your own, slowly pumping two fingers into you and letting his thumb drift over your clit. A moan broke from your chest, filling the air with desperation amidst the despair.

“S-so I left, and I promised I was done, but I can never just be done with you, can I?” You hissed, squeezing your eyes shut as the feeling in your belly grew stronger. “I decided to get back at you, so I took Scott on a date to try and forget about you. I taunted you with those pictures to make you feel the same way I did, but I worried it wouldn’t work because you don’t care about me the same way I care about you.” He let out a quiet noise, almost sounding astonished that you could believe such a thing, even while he was trying to make you feel good while you berated him. “Then you showed up, and for a second I believed I had it all wrong. You cared enough to be there, to come and find me and try to win me over, but then I was just mad. I’m not your property Jake, and I’m not your problem.” You had to stop, feeling yourself teetering on the edge as you spoke. You waited for a moment, focusing on not cumming so you could say all you needed to feel better.

“You don’t get to pick and choose when you love me, and you don’t get to decide when I’m ready for something. You don’t get to choose when I’m someone you love, or when I’m just good for sex. You don’t get to make me fall for you and then take another girl home with you!” You could feel tears rising in your eyes despite the pull of pleasure from his hand. You were surprised that you could speak so much emotion so clearly while he was working so intently at your cunt, but the emotional turmoil was much more pressing than the sexual tension. “You don’t get to tell me I mean something to you and throw it in the garbage. You don’t get to mean this much to me and also have the power to take it away.” He heard the quiver in your voice, and it nearly shattered his psyche.

“It’s okay, Angel.” He muttered. “You’re okay.” He promised, moving his fingers at a more precise angle. “Cum for me, beautiful.”

“Don’t do that, Jake.” You stopped him, hating how badly you loved hearing the sweet words. It was too much. He was too much. It was all too much for you, and you feared that you were crossing a line you would never be able to come back from.

“Get used to it.” He snapped, leaning forward so his forehead was resting on yours. He couldn’t handle your denial any longer; both of you felt the same way, even if you refused to admit to it. Love was surrounding you completely, and you knew it long before he took your clothes off. The only reason it hurt so bad was because you loved him so much, and if you did not care it would never have mattered. “I’m not going anywhere.” He said, a little softer but still harsh enough to offset the sweetness.

“F-fuck,” you gasped, stuttering over your own profanity. It was exactly what you wanted to hear from someone your entire life, that they were there for good and they wouldn’t leave your side, but somehow when it came from his lips in the way you’d always longed to hear, you could not allow yourself to believe it. The orgasm was right there, and you could no longer hold it back. You were slipping over the edge, and he wasn’t helping. His hold on your face softened, but his fingers were still burning into your skin, leaving a mark for the rest of eternity.

“That’s it,” he crooned, rocking his hips forward into nothing. He was so desperate for relief himself, but he wouldn’t allow it until he was sure you were satisfied. Your hand reached out for his arm, your fingers locking around your bicep as your other arm snaked around his neck, pulling him closer and holding him tightly, ensuring he could not slip away. “Doing so good for me, baby.”

Your muscles tensed and your legs shook with the intensity of the euphoria. No pain existed within your mind anymore; it was filled with thoughts of Jake, and the sweetness of his face and the warmth of his eyes. For once, the thoughts invading your mind had little to do with the sexual desire between you both, and everything to do with the yearning of your heart. The pleasure came from him being close, and the prospect of spending the rest of your life doing the same thing with him and only him.

You were too far gone, and there was no way you could surface from the experience the same as you were before you descended into it.

Love had blossomed, infiltrating every second of your day and every fibre of your being. It was so plentiful that it altered your DNA and changed your entire outlook on life. You were nothing but in love, and the moment was so beautiful that it almost sickened you.

When you came down, your mind was foggy and your eyes were begging to stay closed. You were exhausted, but he was only just getting started. As soon as you relaxed against him, you felt him remove his hand from your cheeks. He unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down along with his boxers just enough to free himself. He grabbed your hips with both hands, pulling you to the edge of the counter with a strength that made your head spin. He hiked your legs around his waist and let the tip of his cock rest on your entrance before going any further.

“I didn’t plan to fuck anything up, y/n.” He said, making sure you were listening. The softness he held seconds before was gone, now. It was his turn to air out his feelings, and he wasn’t going to miss the chance. “Falling for you was the last thing I wanted to do, because I knew it would leave us here. You don’t get to sit here and call me names, because you’re not a fucking saint, either.” With that, he slammed his hips forward, catching you completely off guard. You let out a yelp, his cock hitting your cervix and sending an addictive type of pain through your entire body. “You’re the most stubborn, self-assured, snarky woman I have ever met in my entire life.” He listed, clearly showcasing that your time to talk was over. “I hate it, but it’s so fucking addicting that I can’t stay away.” He growled, pulling your hips forward as he thrusted into you, making the impact all the more intense. “You don’t get to be angry with me for caring about you, because you’ve been doing all of the same things.”

“I get to be mad about whatever I want!” You argued, but he pulled you down on him again, cutting your thoughts off completely. The sound of skin on skin was too much to bear, and suddenly, you felt like he was wearing too much clothing. You reached your hand between the two of you, grabbing a handful of his shirt where the last few buttons were joined together. You gave a hard tug, and the buttons popped free from the threads holding them together. It didn’t even phase him for a second, and all he did was pull back for long enough to shake it from his arms.

“It’s my turn to talk.” He said, bringing his hand to your throat, his fingers locking around your neck like a gruesome decoration. He did not apply any pressure, but kept his grip there as a looming threat. “You broke my fucking heart, too.” At his words, your chest ached with a fervor you had never felt before. Hurting Jake was the last thing you wanted to do, and hearing him say it out loud broke you beyond recognition. “Do you really think that I took her home that night?” He asked, his hips still moving at a brutal pace. “That I even wanted to entertain that any further? That I even wanted to kiss her that night? You really think I would ever touch anyone else like this?”

“I… I don’t know.” You whined, your stomach twisting into knots at the pleasure he was granting you.

“You are the only thing that has ever mattered,” he huffed, looking down at your face, admiring the way your expression was telling him how good he was making you feel. “The only reason I invited her was to get your fucking attention, and I forgot she was even coming after I went to the bathroom with you.” You couldn’t respond, too immersed in the euphoria of being so close to him again. You did not realize how much you missed the feeling of him on your skin until he was touching you. “Then you walked away, like you always do, and I thought that was it. I thought I’d never see you again.” He was struggling to get the words out, but he continued on anyway.

“Then you post those pictures, posing like a fucking whore with some other guy to get under my skin?” He spat, his anger clear in his tone. You had hurt him perhaps even beyond how much he hurt you, and you could finally see it. You weren’t so blinded by your own pain that you could ignore his. You were both so blinded by pain that you had convinced yourselves that you hated each other. “You thought you were going to bring him back here and let him see you like this? That I would let you get away with it, let someone else put their hands on you?” He was growing more intense the longer he spoke, but it was so intoxicating that you did not realize how dangerous it was. “This is all for me, sweetheart. Don’t you ever think otherwise.” The possessive claim made you weak, and could not even voice how blissful the thought of being his forever was. His fingers tightened around your neck, finally beginning to cut off the blood flow to your head. “Did you think that he could even come close to me?”

“No, sir.” You rasped, his hand stopping most of the words, but you still managed to speak them so he knew the truth.

“He could never make you feel this good.” He spat. “Nobody could, Angel. You can lie and say that you don’t love me, but you can’t fucking lie to me about that.” His fingers constricted around your neck again, making your vision go blurry and your head feel light. Your entire body felt like it was floating, but you had no fear.

Just the same as it was the beginning, you knew that death at his hands would be the most pleasant experience of your entire existence.

Without warning, you descended into pleasure once more. You tried to withdraw a breath, but you could not get any air in. Your legs were locked around him, trembling with the intensity of the climax. You tried to reach an arm out to tap him, but you were so strung out in euphoria that you couldn’t summon the strength to do it. When you thought you might slip away into unconsciousness, his fingers loosened around your neck, never willing to push you too far. Even as angry as he was, your safety was the most important thing to him. Instead of the harsh grip he previously held, his fingers massaged against the sensitive skin as you filled your lungs with air. You coughed for a moment, sputtering on the oxygen that you’d been deprived of, and eventually your body relaxed from the stimulation. His hips were still moving, but you were nearly too fucked out to care.

Without any warning, he pulled out of you and slid you from the counter and onto your feet. You were completely at his disposal, but you had no fear that he would mistreat you. You trusted Jake completely, even if you didn’t want to. He spun you around, bending your top half over the counter and grabbing a fistful of your hair. Within seconds, his cock was back inside you and his hips were continuing their earlier page, this time with much more freedom.

“Tell me, sweetheart. I want to hear you say it.” He ordered. You felt a slight stutter in his movements, realizing that he wasn’t far behind you. He was holding on by a thread, and he was desperate to hear your praise, even if he would never admit it.

“Only you can make me feel this good, Jake.” You groaned, so exhausted that the words barely made it past your lips. “Nobody else could ever come close to you.”

“That’s it, baby.” He sighed, reaching around to the front of you and moving his hand between your legs. His fingers settled on your clit, now adding more stimulation to your already tired body. You tensed against him in response, your walls clenching around him and pulling him even further. “God, you’re so fucking tight. Take my cock so well.” Your knees went weak at the sound of his filthy words. “Give me one more, sweet girl. I know you can do it.”

“I can’t.” You shook your head against his hold on your hair. “I can’t do it.” You pleaded with him to see reason, but Jake had never been one to take no for an answer. You knew you could come again, but you feared that your body would not be able to handle it. Even as you doubted it, the pleasure was steadily rising again, begging you to let go and give in to the temptation.

“You can, and you will.” He barked, still feeling some residual anger coursing through him. The movements of his fingers sped, and if possible, became even more precise. Your whole body felt like it was on fire and he did not let up for a second to give you a break. He was pushing you to the brink of insanity, and he didn’t have a single regret about it.

“Fuck, Jake.” You cried, squeezing your eyes shut as an even more intense pleasure took over. You had surpassed any level of care, and you were practically screaming as obscenities fell from your lips, mixed delicately with his name. He coaxed you through the orgasm, muttering praise as he held you steady on your feet.

“That’s my girl.” He groaned, the sinful noises driving him even closer to the edge. Before you came down from the high, you could feel his hips stutter, his previous pace failing him as he descended into his own euphoria. His cock twitched inside of you, and he let out a slur of curses as he spilled his release into you. If it was even possible, the feeling of him filling you sent you into a whole other world of bliss. You tried to catch your breath as your body shook with the last few seconds of your orgasm, but your chest burned and your heartbeat pounded in your ears.

You had never felt like this in your entire life, and although it was fantastic, it was incredibly dangerous. You had finally sold your soul to the devil, and your repentance had only just begun. You feared that a lifetime of suffering would not be enough punishment for the nefarious acts the two of you committed.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” He breathed, slowly releasing his hold on your hair. You let your cheek gently fall against the countertop, the cool surface calming your burning skin almost immediately.

“Yeah,” you replied, keeping your eyes closed in hopes of regaining some energy again. He pulled out of you, but neither of you rushed to the bathroom to clean up. You could worry about the mess later; there were things more pressing than that, and dealing with the aftermath of your wrath was at the top of the list. When you felt strong enough to open your eyes, you pushed yourself up off the counter, feeling his hands softly running over the marks he’d left on your skin, destined to turn purple as a reminder of your sinful indulgences. You turned to look at him, leaning against the counter to keep yourself upright. He took a long look over your face, seeing the exhaustion written deep in your features. Underneath that, the pain was still lingering.

The two of you hoped that when you faced each other again, the burden of your mistakes would disappear and a new found peace would emerge from the rubble. Now, when you looked at him, it seemed like the pain was permanent and if anything, the suffering only grew stronger. He reached out, cupping your cheek in his hand, but not even the gentleness of his touch could satiate the raging hurt in your heart.

The damage was too plentiful, and you were certain that your relationship would never recover from the evil the two of you had turned to. The sin had caught up to you, and it was breaking you down further the longer you stood before him.

Again, the question remained unanswered; how much sin could you engage in until salvation is no longer an option?

“I’m sorry.” He muttered, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your forehead. You wished that the feeling would take away all of the bad like it so often did before, but it only made your heart break even further. The longer his lips lingered on your skin, the more it made you want to cry. It wasn’t right, and it never would be. The two of you were disastrous together, and although the connection was undeniable, it was also lethal.

“I am, too.” You said, the quiver in your voice louder than any of the words you spoke. He pulled back, looking down at your face.

“Don’t cry, sweetheart.” He pleaded, unsure if he could handle the sight of you in tears again. “Let’s go get cleaned up, then we can talk.”

“Okay.” You nodded, knowing that the longer you waited to tell him the truth, the worse it would hurt for you both. Still, you let him guide you to the bathroom where the two of you tried (and failed) to wash away the sinful memories of the night.

You stood in front of the mirror, looking at the smudged mess of your makeup and the trails of mascara littlering your cheeks from the crying you had done. You did not recognize the person staring back at you, nor did you want to get to know her. She was empty, chilling when you looked into her eyes for too long. She was not the person you had worked so hard to become, and as you looked over your shoulder at Jake, you knew why.

His love was euphoric, but it was not good for you. It had changed your entire world, but it was not in any way positive. You were a stranger to yourself, and you saw the devil in your eyes, laughing at your own foolish ignorance. The things you had done for his love did not give you what you so badly wanted. Instead, it turned you cruel and vile, your motives twisted and hurting everyone in the crossfire. You wanted him so badly, but you knew you could not have him and maintain your peace at the same time. The two of you cared about each other so much that it was dangerous, and you could not risk everything you had worked so hard to attain.

Even as you came to your senses, you could not help but gaze at his face with a type of longing only felt in fiction. Your heart ached to be his, and your body craved to be in his arms. He was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen, but sometimes the most precious things can hurt you the most. Worse than that, the most beautiful things turn out to be rotten at the core. What you felt for him was so much stronger than anything you’d ever experienced, and in some ways, it was fantastic. What wasn’t fantastic was the things you were willing to do to keep him all to yourself. It was cruel and wicked, and you did not want the evil to take over your entire soul.

Even as you fought the idea, a small part of you knew that you were too far gone to be saved.

His arms reached out for you, landing on your arms as his fingers trailed over the smooth skin. He stepped towards you, placing a kiss on the top of your head as he reached for the pack of makeup wipes on beside the sink. He grabbed two from the package, and turned you to face him. Wordlessly, he wiped away the makeup staining your skin, but he could not work fast enough to rid you of the tears that did not want to stop falling.

You were already grieving him, and he wasn’t even out of sight yet.

You had always been fantastic at ruining a good thing before it ever happened.

“Is that better?” He asked, dabbing away the last bit of mascara on your cheeks. The coolness of the cloth soothed your skin, but it did not make you feel better at all. You weren’t sure that anything would.

“Yeah.” You lied, giving a weak nod against him. He discarded the used wipes in the trash, grabbing your hand and leading you out of the bathroom. He nudged you towards your bedroom, and you followed his guidance without complaint. Once you were in the safety of your room, he grabbed two of his shirts from the drawer of your dresser you had given him for his clothes.

The thought alone pained you, knowing that soon enough, it would go back to an empty compartment that served as a reminder of your own failures. You were not ready for Jake to become a stranger again after knowing him so well.

He tossed a shirt in your direction, which you caught and threw over your head. You would worry about returning his clothes to him another day, knowing that the pain was plentiful enough tonight. He changed into his own, comfier clothes and took a seat on the edge of your bed. He held his hand out to you, beckoning you to come and join him.

“I’m sorry I said all of that stuff.” You said, trying your best to sit away from him on the mattress, but gravity seemed to be pulling you towards him. “You’re not my boyfriend, but you are worth way more than sex. And you’re not selfish, either. If anything, I think that I am.” He was not your boyfriend, but you both desperately wished he was.

“It’s okay, angel.” He assured you, reaching for your hand and intertwining your fingers with his. “I’m sorry, too. You are worth the whole world, and you’ve always meant more to me than sex. I never should have said that, either.” He confessed, wishing that he never said such harsh things about you.

“I’m also sorry that I hurt you. I never wanted to. I thought I was protecting myself, but all I was doing was making things worse. Scott didn’t mean anything, either. He was an old friend from high school, and I only took him on a date to piss you off.” You muttered, looking down at your hand in his.

“She didn’t mean anything, either. I did the same, and I shouldn’t have taken it that far. I was hurt and stupid, and I didn’t know how else to deal with it. I felt like you didn’t want me, so I just wanted to feel like someone did.” His transparency was haunting, especially considering you were going to hurt him all over again. You were prolonging the inevitable, and you were terrible for doing such a thing to him.

“These last few months have been… everything to me.” You confessed, feeling more tears stain your cheeks. “More than I ever thought I would have again. I’ve been so mad at you for breaking your promise, but I think I broke it first. It’s not fair, and I wish that I could deal with my feelings better.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart.” He turned towards you so he could see you better. “We can figure it out together.” He promised, but the look in your eye made him regret the sentiment immediately. He knew what was coming just as well as you did, but he so desperately hoped that he was wrong.

“No, we can’t, Jake.” You whispered, holding back a sob begging to break free. “All we know how to do is hurt each other.”

“That’s not true, angel. Come on.” He pleaded, hoping that you would at least be willing to hear him out.

“Look at us,” you replied, begging him to see reason “we’ve been avoiding falling in love so much that we’ve gotten comfortable with hurting each other instead. I thought that after we talked it out, or after sex we might feel closer and all of that pain would start to go away, but it’s not. It’s still here, and it’s telling me that you and I need more than what we can give each other. The games and the avoidance and the fear… It’s not getting us anywhere.” You bit down on your lip, stopping it from quivering from the strength of your emotion.

“We can make it work. If we try, we can do anything, y/n. I would do anything for you.” He said, pained at the thought of leaving you again.

“When I said I don’t fall in love, I said it for a reason. It’s not because of you, and if I’m being honest, you are the easiest person in the world to fall in love with. It’s because I’m not good at it Jake, and I’m not good for you. I’m going to hurt you more than I can ever give you anything good. I’ve got too much history, too many problems… you don’t deserve that. You deserve the world, and I can’t give that to you. I can’t be selfish anymore. I can’t do that to you.” He reached up, wiping your tears away while he tried to process your words.

“Y/n, you are the world. I don’t want to try with anyone else, because a million bad days with you are worth way more than one good one with someone else.” The sweetness was killing you, and you had to stop him before he took it any further. You were always weak to his power, and this time, you were even more susceptible to it.

“I want that too, Jake, but I can’t.” You stressed the same point. He sat for a moment, drowning in the sorrow but unwilling to push you any further.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” He asked, voice so quiet it barely broke through the air.

“No,” you shook your head. “I don’t want it, but it’s for the best.” You closed your eyes, wishing you could feel differently about it. You wanted him so badly, and you wanted to make space in your home for him to be there, too, but you couldn’t. You were too afraid, and your fear had always paralyzed you. It was your biggest weakness, only second to Jake, now.

“Okay.” He said, holding back his own tears. It was killing him, but even if he did not agree, your comfort came first.

“I don’t want to lose you.” You said, making sure he knew that you still wanted him around. A selfish being could not fully rid themselves of the burden, and selfishness was all you knew when it came to him. “We’re just getting good at being friends, and I would really like to keep it that way.” You were lying; friends was equal to torture when all you wanted was to love him.

“I can do friends, angel.” He promised, but it was empty. He did not know if he could do it, but he was willing to try. Having you as a friend was better than not having you at all. “Can we just… Can we wait? I’m willing to try, but not yet. I just want to be with you right now.”

“Okay,” you breathed, nodding in agreement. You didn’t want him to leave yet, either, and you were willing to take as much as you could get, even if you were loving him on borrowed time.

The two of you fell back into the mattress, and he wasted little time pulling you into his arms. What normally would be a joyous moment now seemed bleak, drenched in despair. He didn’t want to leave, and you did not want him to have to repair damage that someone else had done. You were too hurt to be loved, and he loved you too much to see your hurt. The sin was plentiful, and this time, it had destroyed the two of you down to the core. You had done so much damage and repair was not an option, and you hated the fact that the universe did not want to allow the two of you to be together. In another life, the two of you would love each other more intensely than the world had ever seen.

Wrath had shattered the last bit of humanity the two of you held within your hearts. It was in his jealousy, and your revenge. It lived in your hurtful words and harsh truths, but most of all, it was plentiful in your own self-reflection. You had never hated yourself more than you did in that moment. You were angry with yourself for being so broken, and angry that you could not put your fear aside and let yourself love him. Most of all, you were angry that you were letting him walk away when all you wanted was to be held by him for the rest of your life. At the same time, he was furious with himself for ever hurting you at all and making you think that he would not do all he could to show you what you meant to him. He was angry for allowing you to let him leave, and angry that he was not strong enough to force you to let him stay.

Fury was the most abundant emotion in the room, followed closely by sadness. Above your heads, the seven deadly sins conjoined to force the two of you away from each other indefinitely. You had sinned too much to ever reap any rewards, and your wicked warpaths led you straight to your own demise.

Lust had driven you too him, and gluttonous you had become. Greed was not far behind it, but sloth ensured that you would never see the truth your hearts were trying to speak. Pride had stopped you from seeing him as he was, and pride had forced his hand in cruelty. Envy left you broken, and wrath had lead you to revenge. Now, you were cradled in the devils arms and awaiting your fate; god could no longer look at you and lead you down the right path, and your own salvation was out of your hands.

You prayed that the devil might see mercy and go easy on you as you tried to rebuild yourself from the evil mess you had become.

The hours passed and you stayed tangled in his limbs, with his hands in your hair and soft kisses placed on your skin. You felt better than you ever had, and you knew that nobody else in the world would ever love you the same as Jake would. You fought exhaustion, forcing your eyes to stay open so you did not miss a single second of his company. You laughed at each others jokes and shared sweet sentiments, recounting the months of happiness you had brought to each others lives. It was a dream come true, but dreams must always come to an end. When the sun began to peek through the darkness, you knew your time together had come to pass.

When he stood, your bed felt emptier than it ever had. There was a divot in the mattress from where he laid moments before, reminding you of all you were losing as he walked out the door. You stood with him, holding on to every last second that you could.

“So this is it?” He asked, wondering if you would change your mind.

“I guess so.” You replied, feeling your voice begin to shake with sadness again. If it was the right thing to do, why did it hurt so bad to do it?

“Friends?” He asked, clenching his jaw in hopes of holding back his own emotions.

“Wait,” you shook your head, stepping forward and wrapping your arms around him. He wasted no time doing the same, holding you with all of the love he could muster in his heart. Your head settled in the crook of his neck and his chin rested on the top of your head. The two of you sat for a moment, immersed in the comfort of each other's company. Before you let go, you leaned up and placed a kiss on his lips. It was sweet, drawn out, and telling of everything you did not have the strength to say. When you pulled away, you could see tears shining in his eyes from the early light of the sun. “Okay.” You breathed, in trance as his eyes burned into yours. “Friends.” His lips upturned into a smile, but it appeared more like a grimace.

“You were right from the beginning, angel. I never should have doubted you.” He said, his voice weak as he blinked away tears. If he had listened, he would have spared you both the pain.

“I’m so glad you did.” You said, making sure he knew you didn’t regret it. If he had listened, you never would have had the chance to know him at all. He placed a small kiss on your forehead, and with one last look over your face, took a step back.

“I’ll see you soon?” He asked, hopeful that you really did want to remain friends. He could not imagine how sorrowful life would be if he never saw you again.

“You know where to find me.” You left the invitation open, hoping that he would come back. You couldn’t understand the feelings flooding your chest. They were so powerful and abundant that it made it difficult to breathe.

“I do.” He nodded, stepping out of your bedroom to retrieve his shirt from the kitchen. “I’ll uh... I’ll buy you a new dress.” He chuckled, looking to the torn fabric on the floor.

“Don’t worry about it. It was worth it.” You gave him a weak smile.

“Alright.” He nodded, grabbing his shirt. “Goodbye, beautiful.” You wanted to say something back, but you were frozen. Dread filled you, leaving no room for anything else.

Why did you want him to stay?

Why did you want him to try and change your mind?

Why, if this was the best for both of you, did it feel like the world was ending?

The idea of him walking through the door was killing you, but you did not have enough courage to tell him to come back to bed despite wanting it more than anything else. You needed him to stay, to love you until you forgot about all the hurt that was plaguing you. You needed him, but you could not allow yourself to have it. Instead, you took in a shaky breath and nodded your head.

“Goodbye, baby.” You struggled to speak, your throat feeling like it was closing around the word and forcing it back down. You watched in horror as he walked to the door, opening it as he slipped his shoes on. He blew you a kiss, lingering for a moment too long. When you didn’t speak again, he stepped outside and the door gently fell shut behind him.

The grief hit you with such a force that you feared you would fall to your knees in anguish. You wanted to run after him, to tell him that you were wrong and the only thing you wanted to be good at was loving him, but you were frozen. You heard his car back out of your driveway, and you knew that it was over; you had to suffer the consequences of your own sinful desires and learn how to move forward despite them. It was the right thing to do, and you had to persevere through the pain to understand that you had done the best thing for the two of you.

But still, upon telling yourself that over and over again, you still did not believe it. Now that your house screamed with emptiness upon his departure, you felt like you had made the worst mistake of your life.

Perhaps the devil was not punishing you for your sinful endeavours, but rather the sin was standing in the way of seeing the truth once again.

With your head in your hands and your heart lying broken in the pit of your stomach, the heaviest realization thus far washed over you. You were wrong about him, and you were wrong about leaving him. Jake was not the enemy, nor was he the thing making your life harder; you were your own worst enemy, and all you had done since falling in love was stand in the way of your own happiness. You wondered if the Lord would ever forgive you and bring him back, or if you would have to suffer the punishment and spend every lifetime searching for him in everyone you met.

Hope was and had always been a feeble idea, and you had little desire to believe that life would work itself out again after making so many deals with the devil. Instead of running after him, you turned to your bedroom to hide away under the covers and begin your repentance that would take a lifetime to complete.

TAGLIST: @sacredjake @profitofthedune @thewritingbeforesunrise @sacredthethreadgvf @klarxtr @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @freefallthoughts @jaketlove @clairesjointshurt @ageofbajabule @dannys-dream @earthgrlsreasy @starshine-gvf @brujamagik @gvfmarge @ignite-my-fire @twistedmelodies @gretavangroupie @alwaysonthemend @edgingthedarkness @gvfpal @sinarainbows @writingcold @starcatcher-jake @literal-dead-leaf @takenbythemadness @gretasfallingsky @hsfallingsky @freyjalw @itsafullmoon @lyndz2names @blacksoul-27 @i-love-gvf @vikingsisthenewsexy @mp0801 @mindastreamofcolours @indigogvf @sparrowofthedawnsworld @jordie-gvf @cassy-face @highway-tuna @creadliz98 @dancingcarbon @do-it-jakey-baby @lallisonl

[queenshelby]

An Illicit Affair

Part 32: Arrest

Pairing: Cillian Murphy (46) x Reader (23)

Warning: Age-Gap, Taboo Relationship, Infidelity

Without giving it a second thought, Cillian sought out his son who he knew was at university that day , planning on confronting him about it. His gut feeling told him that Max had something to do with the charge and, as he drove to university, the erratic beat of the rain drummed furiously against the roof of the car, matching the thundering of his own heart. Anxiety and anger built inside him as a thousand different scenarios played out in his head.

What his gut feeling failed to foresee however is that Max had, just as always, been manipulated by his mother who, according to Max himself, had been using the car for the past few weeks.

"Dad, what is going on?" he wanted to know , his eyes narrowing in suspicion, his body language stiff and defensive as his father stood in front of him, questioning him.

"Mum said that her card had been stolen and I figured that you wouldn't mind if she used yours. She was just going to get some groceries and you had her other accounts blocked, so I just gave it to her and told her to be reasonable, you know," Max explained after Cillian had confronted him about the charges in Chelsea. "And you know that I don't have a license at the moment, so I am not going to drive a brand-new car. Mum has been using it for weeks. She fucking paid for it, so why not," Max continued, his eyes wide and innocent, completely unaware of the betrayal that his mother had committed.

Cillian sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, frustration building up in his chest. "Max, this is serious. Are you sure she's been using the car all this time?" Cillian told his son, his voice heavy with disappointment and anger.

"Yes, dad! She has been in London for ages now. She didn't want me to tell you because of all that has been happening and since I didn't talk to you for weeks anyway, I didn't think it was an odd request,"  Max stated, still looking at his father with wide, innocent eyes, completely oblivious to the impact his words had on him.

Cillian sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers again. He felt like he was being pulled in every direction, unable to find solid ground, unable to make sense of the senseless situation.

"Max, we need to talk. And then we need to go to the police, together!" Cillian announced, determination shining in his sharp blue eyes as he processed the sudden turn of events.

Max frowned, hesitating for a moment before nodding reluctantly.

"To the police? Why?" Max asked, surprise lacing his words as he glanced nervously at his father.

Cillian turned to his son, meeting his eyes, the gravity of the situation heavy in his gaze.

"I think that your mother has been stalking Y/N and I think that she was responsible for the accident," Cillian explained quietly, donning a serious expression that Max had never seen before.

Max shook his head, confusion drawing his brows together. "Mum wouldn't do this kind of thing, dad!" he denied, his voice trembling ever so slightly, with a hint of disbelief lingering behind each word that left his mouth.

But Cillian disagreed, his mind set on revealing the truth about Danielle's actions. "Max, listen to me," Cillian tried but Max cut him off.

"No!  I won't listen to you say these things about her! Mum is a good person, she would never hurt anyone," Max insisted, anger and panic bubbling inside him. He couldn't believe what his father was suggesting. Danielle was his mother, his rock, his safe haven. She was the one person he could always rely on, the one person who had always been there for him, no matter what. The idea that she could be capable of such a heinous act was unfathomable.

"Max, your mother has been trying to trap me in this marriage for a long time and  when that didn't work for her anymore and I filed for divorce, she started targeting Y/N. I know it sounds far-fetched, but you have to trust me on this," Cillian pleaded, grasping for straws.

Max sneered, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared at his father. "How convenient. You're blaming her now that you've found yourself someone else," Max exclaimed accusingly.

"Y/N told me about the car following her, Max. I checked and it is the same make and model your mother bought for you," Cillian retorted, trying to break through Max's resistance.

"Y/N is probably lying to get rid of mum because of you. Because she doesn't want the baggage that comes with having an ex-wife and all,"  Max declared, frustration and protectiveness coursing through him.

Cillian sighed, trying to keep his patience in check. "Look, Max. I know it's hard to accept but we have to face the facts. Your mother has become increasingly unstable over the past few months and her behavior has become increasingly erratic. Believe me, I wish it wasn't the case, but I am worried, not only about Y/N's safety, but also yours," Cillian  assured Max, who looked away, unable to meet his father's gaze.

"So you are trying to get mum locked up? Is that it?"  Max asked finally, his eyes focused on anything but his father.

Cillian reached out to put a reassuring hand on Max's shoulder, but he recoiled at the touch. Cillian sighed and dropped his arm to his side.

"No Max, I am trying to get her the help she needs while, at the same time, making sure that Y/N and you are safe!" Cillian replied emphatically, frustration creeping into his voice as he raised his hands in a helpless gesture. "I know it's hard for you to hear this, but we can't ignore it anymore."

Max sighed, his shoulders slumping as he finally conceded defeat. "You ruined everything by getting involved with Y/N! So, I hope you are happy, dad!"  Max spat, disgust heavy in his voice, and Cillian's heart ached. He hated that their relationship had come to this, but he couldn't stand by and do nothing while Danielle's erratic behavior continued.

"Max, I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to hurt you or your mother," Cillian whispered, his voice thick with regret. "But I can't deny my feelings for Y/N either. I'm sorry."

Max shook his head, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

"I don't want to hear it," he mumbled, his voice barely audible. "Just fucking go!" 

Cillian sighed, rubbing his temples. "Okay. I will leave," Cillian conceded but Max was beyond reasoning at this point. He had made up his mind, and there was no changing it. "I hate you," he muttered, turning on his heel and storming off.

Cillian watched him go, his heart heavy with sadness, regret and uncertainty.

"Max," he called after him. "Max, please, don't leave like this."

But Max did not look back. Instead, he quickened his pace, disappearing around a corner, leaving Cillian standing alone, the cool wind biting at his exposed skin, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

As he stared at the empty space where his son had just been, he knew that he had to press on. For Y/N, for Max. For himself.

With that in mind, he made his way to the station , determination fueling his steps. He needed to speak to the detective in charge of the case, to share his suspicions, to point out the inconsistencies, to expose the danger that Danielle posed and to plea for their protection.

Upon arriving at the station, Cillian was greeted with a flurry of activity. Police officers rushed back and forth, the buzz of their radios and their hushed conversations filling the air, creating an almost suffocating level of tension. He approached the front desk, a pleasant-looking woman greeted him, inquiring how she could assist.

He explained why he had come, and after a brief moment of discussion, the receptionist summoned the investigator responsible for your case and it was then and there that an arrest warrant against Danielle had been issued.

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[lillaydee]

Uncoupled - June

Roommate! Joel Miller / Reader

Two people leaving their marriages ended up going through the mandatory one year separation together before filing for divorce.

Nothing could possibly happen in a year, right?

WARNINGS: Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Ellie & Joel Bonding (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Protective Joel (The Last of Us), No age gap, Roommate Joel, Teacher Joel, Handyman Joel, Insecure Joel, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning.

SERIES MASTER LIST

May

---

Joel sat in the waiting room, a very jittery Jen next to him. The results of the biopsy was in. He hadn’t wanted to be there for Jen, initially. There was a part of him that was convinced Jen was doing this to try to guilt him into staying. He didn’t want to chance it, he was finally happy. His life with you and Ellie had been perfect. He was not going to ruin this.

He was looking forward to the divorce, so much so he declined alimony, just so he didn’t have to be tied to her in any way. Since she was the ‘at fault’ party and made so much more than him, he could get it, but he had a feeling Jen would stretch the process and rather than go back and forth on this whole thing he just wanted out. She would get anything in her name, the house, the car, her money, and he would be free of her. That was all he wanted.

He told you he didn’t want to go. He told you he didn’t want to be involved. Whatever it was, he could support her from afar. There was no need for him to be there with her. Heck, even her own parents and siblings didn’t want to be there for her. Her success and ‘glow-up’ didn’t just isolate him, it extended to her family as well, effectively isolating herself from everyone who could’ve been there for her.

But you. You were too soft hearted, you talked him into being there for her. We got lucky, you told him, we found each other. She didn’t have anyone. Be there for her. She was the woman you loved for 15 years. Do this for her. He tried to tell you that Jen would stick to him like a leech if they found something malignant, guilt him into staying, but you told him that the two of you would cross that bridge then, if it came.

So he called her, went with her for the biopsy, held her hand through it all. Drove her home after, made sure she was alright and had everything she needed. He was actually starting to feel glad he could do things like that for her and not have it be an awkward situation. That they could sort of be friends.

And then she kissed him.

Jen just found out that she was all alone, Max declining to be involved at all despite their history, and she was desperate. The reality of her actions pushing the one man she now knew she could rely on was hitting her hard, and she was willing to do anything to win him back.

Jen saw immediately who Max was once they got together officially. He was a man who only thought of himself, his reputation, his comfort, his needs. He was slowly suggesting that a woman’s place was at home, not out in the world like she was, working side by side with men. He was threatened by her success, even if it was nothing compared to his. She saw now that you opening the bakery was the starting point for his unrelenting search for power; he was afraid you would be successful. More so than him. Max was not someone who could handle that. And the moment she made it clear that she was never giving her career up, their problems started.

She began to miss Joel then. He was never threatened by her success. He even worked harder to try and contribute more, but in her egotistical mind, that was not enough. She regretted that now, but even she could see that she treated him horribly once she found success. And now he’s all happy with you, someone who, according to Max, was her opposite. Someone Joel could easily find happiness with. So she was determined to win him back.

But Joel was still level headed. He wasn’t surprised, he knew she would try something like this. Rather than pushing her off him, he gently turned his head and pulled himself off her, turning and leaving before she could say anything else.

He told you about it the moment he got home. He could see your face turn to anger, but you true to your form, you told him she was probably just an emotional mess right now and wasn’t thinking.

Joel was not happy about it, though. He made sure to physically distance himself from Jen, not meeting her unless necessary. She began sending him suggestive texts, all of which he ignored, and making appearances where she knew he would be, even going to his school to see him without your knowledge.

She even went to see you behind Joel’s back, telling you that if you had any decency at all, you would leave him, let him go back to her, she obviously needed him more right now. God only knew how long she would have left with him. She wasn’t shy to use such lines with him either, although he never took the bait, and neither did you.

But when she began suggesting for him to not go to get the results, he knew something was wrong. He knew she was being conniving, planning something. Hiding something. She even changed the appointment time, thinking he wouldn’t find out. Except the doctor’s office emailed him the new appointment time too, and the look on her face when she saw him at the hospital was a confirmation of his suspicion.

The result came back as benign. She would still need surgery to remove the mass, but it wasn’t cancerous. And the growth was small enough for her to have an outpatient surgery, no hospital stay required. Just a few hours of observation. She wouldn’t even need aftercare, so there was no need for Joel to be there for her for days after the surgery.

He did, though, agree to be with her on the day itself.

That should be enough.

**********

Max had kept trying. Calling and texting and visiting begging you to reconsider the divorce. Jen’s initial diagnosis made him scared. Not for her, but scared that should anything like that happen to him, he would have no one, just like her. He knew Jen was never going to support him, hold his hands through something like that. But you would. He knew that. He had always known that. That was one of the reasons he fell in love with you. It was you who shared a dingy room with him when the two of you first got married, sleeping on a used mattress and eating sparingly when money was tight.

When your bakery started making money, he became threatened, worried that you would start bossing him around, so he worked harder to be more successful, to make sure you would never outearn him. He got there, and somehow, began treating you the way he was worried you would him in the first place.

He wanted you to give up the bakery, make sure you would only be relying on him. That you would be lost without him. He needed that validation to feel like a man.

But you had a great support system. Eddie would die for you. Tess and Frank had the knowledge, the money, the resources to help you out. And you seemed unphased when he was treating you like garbage. So he did more. He found faults with you where he didn’t before. He wanted you to put you in a position where you would finally say fine, you’ll give up the bakery and stay at home, just so that he would treat you better. He didn’t know why, but he wanted you to beg, wanted you to curl into a foetal position and cry, tell him you couldn’t live without him.

Instead, you left him.

And the moment you did, he realized how alone he was in the world. His friends, at least the ones who would drop everything to rush to his aid had been your friends. His work friends were never going to do that for him, they were networking, not making loyal, lifelong connections with him. He had pushed his own family away in his mission to put you down; they had all been on your side, knowing how he had treated you.

He wanted you back. So badly. But you had found Joel. And he knew Joel was the anti-Max. Joel would never be threatened with your success. You might actually be happy with him. You were so adamant on the divorce you waived alimony, which if you didn’t, would erase all your money issues. But you didn’t want to be tied up to him anymore. You just wanted out.

It stung him, how badly you wanted to get away from him, when all he wanted was to win you back.

**********

It was a week before the legal separation was due to end. You were home early that day, Ellie told you her head hurt, and Joel was at the hospital with Jen for her surgery. You were looking at the contents in your fridge when someone knocked on the door.

Max.

He told you he was just there with some of your stuff, the ones you left at his house. True enough, there were boxes in his car. So you let him unload them into your living room. He looked… resigned, defeated, accepting. He stood in front of your door, hands in his pocket, asking you what it was that Joel had that he didn’t. He didn’t get it. He could give you much more than Joel could. Look at this house, look at the house you left, he told you. When you didn’t answer, he asked if Joel was more gifted than him, between the legs – Jen had never told him, but he had a suspicion he was right.

You rolled your eyes. Even after everything, Max was still so immature.

“The measure of a man is not how much money he has in his bank account, or what is hidden in his pants, Max. Joel is a man, through and through. He’s a good man. Honest, reliable, protective, kind, considerate, and above all, secure. He doesn’t need me to look a certain way or stay at home and wait on him hand and foot to know he’s a man.”

He looked at his feet. “I’m going to miss having you around. I already do.”

“No, Max, you miss what I did for you. You don’t miss me. You miss the person who folds the laundry and cooks and cleans. Even when I did do that for you, you chastised me and made me feel like shit for doing them in the first place, always putting me down, nothing was enough. I think you just miss having someone to be cruel to.”

His head snapped up, his eyes filling with tears. “I’m so sorry I treated you like that, Lil. Really. I don’t know what got over me. I know that now. Please Lil, give me another chance.”

“Once bitten, twice shy, Max. I’m not that dumb.”

He nodded, his tears falling to his cheeks. He quietly asked for a hug. Just to say goodbye. Please?

You stepped outside and let him hug you. He breathed you in, his nose in your hair, his eyes closed. He held you tight, and you let him. For a moment, you felt a bit emotional. This was the man you had thought you would spend the rest of your life with. Sure, it was your choice to leave, but it didn’t mean that you weren’t sad. He treated you badly for four years, but there were those 11 years before that, when you shared so many happy memories with him. Even in your impatience to get it all over and done with, you still had to admit; you were heartbroken that your marriage was coming to an end. You didn’t start it with the intent of it turning out this way. No one does. Everyone who married for love thought they would live happily ever after, but things happen. People change. Hearts change.

You pulled back from him, only for him to grab your face and kiss you in the mouth. Hard. Passionate. It took you by surprise, but you pulled back from him, immediately going inside and shutting the door to his face. He didn’t protest, leaving as soon as you did.

You knew you were going to tell Joel about it later, but somewhere in your heart you figured it was just Max’s way of saying goodbye.

**********

Joel sat by Jen’s bedside while she was still unconscious, although she did wake up every now and then, still groggy and very much under the influence of her anaesthesia. Surgery had gone well, scans were clean, she should be okay to go home in a few hours. She would need follow up scans and consultations for them to keep an eye on the site, but she was fine. Joel found himself a bit melancholic – he had loved this woman. In some ways, he still loved her. You don’t love someone for 15 years and stop in a second. Sure, she treated him like shit these last few years, but he had 11 happy years with her. He was so happy when she said yes to marrying him. To spending the rest of her life with him.

While he was looking forward to the divorce, he had to admit that he was mourning it as well. He was mourning the young man who was so in love, so hopeful about starting a new life with the woman he loved. He didn’t marry with the intent to leave when things got rough. But the last four years was so hard on him he could feel himself start to change – he was starting to be bitter, hateful, and that was not the person he wanted to be.

He looked at his soon to be ex wife’s face, the beautiful face she had paid for, and for a moment, he saw the plain young girl he fell in love with, completely unaware how much she could change. He wondered if somewhere in there, that young girl he had fallen for was still around.

She was awake for the first ten minutes she was wheeled back into the day care room they had provided for her, yammering on and on about how thankful she was for him to be there, how thankful she was that he was in her life, how much she loved him, what a good husband he was, that she’s the luckiest woman on earth to have him as her husband. But then she stopped, and Joel had the mind to ask her why she didn’t want him at the appointment for the results. She told him, quite honestly, that she was planning to lie to him about the results to guilt him into staying. She began sobbing, telling him how much she regretted what she did to him, that she was only trying to fill a well of needs that she knew would never be filled.

She pleaded with him to stay, telling him she knew he didn’t really want to leave. Because if he did, he wouldn’t have left something extremely valuable to him with her at the house. Please, Joel, come back to me. I’ll do better, she said, practically grabbing his arm to lay in bed with her, before losing consciousness again.

His thoughts and reminisces of their past life was suddenly interrupted by his phone dinging. Someone had texted him. An unknown number.

‘You sure your girlfriend doesn’t want her husband back, Miller?’

A picture quickly followed. Joel could feel his heart drop to the floor, the picture blurry from his immediate tears, his insides turned ice cold.

Another text. From you, this time.

‘Max just stopped by. Something happened. I’ll explain when you get back, okay?’

And whatever warmth that his body had left just escaped his form altogether.  

**********

You waited patiently for him to return home, you wanted to tell him what Max did. But you didn’t feel right telling him on the phone or via text. Plus, he was taking care of Jen. You shouldn’t be the pushy girlfriend, right? You had been together a little over a month. You hadn’t even said ‘I love you’ yet. And you were still married to your husband, and him to his wife. One week. And they would be served. It would finally be over, and you and Joel could move on.

What was taking him so long? The surgery was this morning, he should be home by now. His dinner was waiting. It’s past Ellie’s bedtime. You had tried calling, but your calls went straight to voicemail. Your texts undelivered.

You weren’t nervous to tell him about the kiss. You didn’t do anything wrong. But with your calls and texts not going through, you had to wonder what was going on, and to be frank, you were starting to feel a bit worried.

His truck finally drove in to the driveway. You shot up and opened the door.

That’s weird. Jen was in the truck with him. He got out and told her to wait for him, engine left idling. He walked past you, not saying anything, his face unreadable, leaving you confused in the entryway. Jen was looking at you with the smuggest look. She beckoned you to go to her. So you did, she was medicated, might as well, you thought.

She lowered the window, smirking at you like she’d won something.

“You know, I knew you would come to your senses. But let’s be honest for a second. Even if you didn’t, what made you think you would be good enough for him? What the fuck could you ever offer him that I couldn’t twofold? Look at you, look at me.”

You were so confused. But she wouldn’t let you get a word in edgewise.

“Look, I’m sorry things turned out this way, but it’s for the best. I promise.”

Joel came back out, his suitcases in his hands. He placed both of them in the back of his truck.

You didn’t think Jen could be any smugger than she already was, but clearly, you were wrong. She sneered at you, lifted her left hand at you, her old engagement ring and wedding band back on.

“Toodles,” she said, waving them at you, before giving you the middle finger, the biggest shit-eating smile on her face.

Joel looked at your confused face, everything seemed unreal, blurry. He spoke to you, his face passive and emotionless. His voice sounded like he was underwater. He told you he would be back for his stuff. He got back in, shut the door and buckled up. He put the gear in reverse and backed out of your driveway, leaving you standing there clueless, your feet rooted down as if weighted down by the heaviest of anvils.

You went back inside, trying to make sense of what just happened. You picked up your phone and saw a text from Max, followed by a picture.

It was a picture of the two of you from earlier, passionately kissing.

‘Wonder what Boyfriend Dearest thought when he saw this picture. You sure you want to sign those papers?’

Fuck. Max had tricked you. He had planned this. He sent Joel the picture.

And then realisation hit. The passive face. The unread texts. Jen’s wedding ring. The suitcases.

He had left you. He had gone back to his wife.

---

The Beginning

[wellofdean]

Don't you think Cas should care and interact with Dean emotionally in The Trap? Dean's mother died only Days ago, and Cas thinks he should be over it already?

Well, uhm. Yes? But I don't think he can at that moment. He is in love with Dean, and Dean has shut the door on him hard, and done so exactly when he is weakest, because he is just as bereaved as Dean is. Both of them are suffering, and neither of them can meet the others' needs. It's not like one of them is being the asshole, and the other one is blameless.

Dean's mother notably referred to Cas as 'one of her boys' and Cas notably saved her from death after Dean's deal with Billie because they all mean too much to him, including Mary. Cas loved and lost Mary, too. Cas loved and lost Jack, whom Cas saw as their child. And, Cas feels like he has also lost Dean!

Why are Dean's grief and Dean's sub-optimal emotional responses in the face of grief more valid than Cas's? I can't put it better than @deangirlism101 in their tags on this post, so I am just going to share them here:

#🤔 it's interesting how differently that ''you couldn't forgive me'' line felt to me#idk if it's because I'm approaching that line with the context that narratively#at least to me#these two are for all intents and purposes#quite married#in my mind the divorce arc is genuinely A Divorce#it's not a breakup. it's not a fight. it is a ''irreconcilable differences'' divorce#and that's where I'm approaching my reading of cas in that scene#it's very much that pragmatic side of divorce#where one partner reaches a point of shutdown because they believe there is no longer any kind of conversation to be had#''you cannot forgive me and i am unable to be near you while unforgiven'' is not#in my perception#the same as ''i apologized and therefore i deserve forgiveness''#i read somewhere that a big warning sign of divorce is contempt#and in the episodes prior to cas leaving#that is all dean expressed toward cas to his face#literally#dean's panicked ’'where are you going?'' i.e. the first noncontemptuous thing dean says to cas all season#is said to his back!#it's not that cas is owed forgiveness#it's that cas NEEDS forgiveness to be able to remain In The Relationship#the way i interpret it#cas isn't ASKING for forgiveness. he is just saying he needs it to stay#which to me is a world of difference#it's not out of entitlement#which i think is important for the emotional context of the episode#and i think it's the beauty of the divorce arc being very much a depiction of Marital Strife#to me it feels like an excellent depiction of the way a healthy marriage is deeply entrenched in compromise and not keeping score#(which is not to say it's okay for cas to continue going off on his own and keeping secrets)

I agree hard with everything here. And, I also think it's not only a depiction of Marital Strife, but a depiction of marital strife after the loss of a child, which is a whole other level of understandable not coping.

They are both on the ropes, they are both emotionally compromised in ways they aren't able to overcome. They both have Things They Routinely Do that are not for the best -- Cas tries to solve everything alone and keeps secrets, and Dean masks all his vulnerable feelings with anger. I think they both forgive the other, but can't bridge the gap. I think it's possible to love and forgive someone, and not be able to be around them, and I think Cas and Dean are both doing their best, it's just that, under the circumstances, their best is not great.

And, this bears repeating: #to me it feels like an excellent depiction of the way a healthy marriage is deeply entrenched in compromise and not keeping score

Cas is not owed an apology, but the fact that Dean can give one? I love that FOR DEAN.

[friendship-ditch]

Enamored

Carol Aird x Fem!Reader ✼

Summary: You're Rindy's babysitter, though recently you've been finding yourself getting closer to her mother, Carol.

Warnings/Notes: None really. Slight age gap? Child with divorcing parents? Harge being an asshole? Tipsy Carol? I don't know anything about 4 year olds.

Word Count: 3420

  “They’re fighting again…” Rindy’s lips pursed into a childish pout. She clung to your sweater as you carried her up the stairs. 

  “I know, honey.” You pushed the door to her room open, closing it afterwards with your foot once the two of you were inside.

  Carol had warned you earlier that day that Harge might show up to fight with her on who got to have their daughter for Christmas. You were expecting him to come later, maybe after lunch, but the bastard snuck in without a sound and before you realized what was happening, the arguing began.

  Harge had always treated you just fine–you started babysitting Rindy right when the divorce began, after their maid left, and they were still working out who would live in the house–but you knew an argument was impending and that Rindy didn’t like it when her parents fought. Plus, Carol had mentioned to you once, during sort of an emotional burnout, that Harge was not a pretty sight when angry. You’d heard them fight before, but never like this.

  It was as if an opera was going on just below your feet in the kitchen. You couldn’t quite make out the words but you could hear them both shouting.

  Rindy’s mood dampened even further. At the age of 4, she obviously wasn’t quite sure what was going on, she just wanted her family to be how it was, happy. Now it was a blessing if she could have both of her parents at once for an hour without tension. They did their best for her sake but cruel glances and tight lips were inescapable.

  “Did you finish your Christmas list?” You watched as Rindy sat on her bed. The paper was on her little desk, scribbled in orange crayon. You told Rindy to make a draft and then the two of you would make an official, fancy one to send to Santa.

  Rindy perked up a little at the mention of the holiday, though her mood was still glum. “I think so…” Her eyes fell to the paper in your hand. “There's something else I want. But I can’t remember.” 

  You scanned the paper again. “You can’t remember?”

  “No…”

  “Hm…” The paper was covered in various toy names. You’d tried to help Rindy write on the lines but half of the paper was unusable from an apple juice spill so the writing was a bit janky. It would do, though. “Was it another toy?”

  “Yeah.” Rindy pouted again.

  There was a particularly loud shout from Harge downstairs. Rindy shuddered.

  You reached to close the vent to hopefully muffle some of the sound when the little girl spoke.

  “Are adults on the naughty list too?” Rindy asked.

  “If they behave badly, then yes.” You looked outside. “Why do you ask?”

  “Daddy told me Mommy is on the naughty list.” Rindy said in a softer tone. “But Mommy isn’t bad.”

  You couldn’t help but frown a little at that. What else had Harge been telling Rindy about Carol? You were about to ask when Carol’s angry voice sounded from downstairs and a new idea came to mind.

  “No, neither of your parents are bad. Sometimes people just say things they don’t mean.” You bent down in front of the girl and set your hands on her knees. “How about we go for a walk? You like walks in the snow, right?”

  That seemed to cure Rindy’s worries as she nodded with a silly grin.

  The two of you got dressed for the weather and left. You made a point to interrupt the fighting, which had now subdued to both of the adults standing in awkward, tense silence, Carol’s fingers to her temple and Harge pinching the bridge of his nose. They just nodded when you told them what you were doing, though once the two of you were outside you could hear them fighting again.

  The walk tired Rindy out and when you returned. Harge said goodbye to her and left, then you put the little girl to bed.

  When you finished, Carol was standing in the kitchen and staring into the sink. She heard your footsteps across the wooden floor and turned to look at you with tired eyes. 

  “I can’t thank you enough… for everything.” Carol murmured defeatedly, checking her watch. “I’ve missed my lunch…” She’d hired you to come over for the day to watch Rindy while she went out to lunch with friends but that clearly wasn’t going to happen now, not after the whole ordeal with Harge.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. You had nothing to do with it.” Carol shook your head and turned to face you. She looked exhausted. “I suppose I’ll have to call… tell them the car had a flat.” Her voice was low as she pondered an excuse. “What a horrible turnout… it’s Gabriela’s birthday…”

  You watched quietly as Carol struggled to piece together what to do. It wasn’t your place to ask questions, but you’d never seen her this way before. “Are you okay?”

  “To be honest, I’m a little frazzled.” Carol admitted softly. She smoothed her hair down and leaned back into the counter. “Dealing with Harge… it’s draining, truly. He’s been getting angrier every time I see him.”

  “What did he want?”

  Her eyes darkened. “To take Rindy with him to Florida for Christmas. His ‘mother’ requested it.” She scoffed bitterly. “As if Rindy’s own mother is lesser than her. You might as well just tell me to my face that I’m not worth anything to her.”

  “That’s awful…” Your frown deepened. 

  “Isn’t it?” Carol forced a smile. “I’m sorry you have to deal with this, I should be paying you extra at this point for everything you do. No normal babysitter puts up with this…”

  “I don’t mind.” You assured her quickly.

  “I do.” Carol sighed and turned to face the sink again as if looking in your eyes was too much to bear. “Why do you do this anyway? I’m sure my burdens are the last thing you want to carry.”

  You hesitated, thinking over the question. Carol had a point. Half of the things you did were way above your paygrade, and they certainly kept you up at night… So why did you do it?

  You couldn’t admit to her face that Carol herself was the reason you stuck around. You’d been enamored by the woman ever since you first set eyes upon her, and she’d been so kind to you, taking you in with open arms. She’d grown more distant since you first met but you couldn't blame her. 

  With everything going on with Harge, Carol was more exhausted than usual. She’d often forget you were supposed to come on certain days but welcomed you to stay for the sake of it either way. On those nights, you’d head home with a free paycheck, and usually some cookies. 

  And on the nights where she did go out and would come home late, the two of you often spent some time speaking in low voices in the living room, you offering comforting words and her soaking them in like water in a desert. She’d confessed things to you she’d told nobody else during those late nights. Instead of Harge, you’d come along with her to things at Rindy’s school or fun activities out of the house. You were there for both of them even more than Harge was.

  You liked being there for Carol, being the one solid thing she relied on.

  “Rindy’s the best kid I know.” You said instead of confessing it all. “I really like hanging out with her. I’d feel awful to leave her.”

  Carol was satisfied with that answer. Her brows softened and she took your hand into hers, giving it a firm squeeze. “You’re a sweet thing, you know that?” She murmured in a low voice. “I don’t know where I’d be without you, Y/n.”

  Heat spread across your face and you couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across your face. “It’s no problem.”

  “Look at you… an angel, truly.” Carol’s voice softened to a whisper and her eyes fell upon your face as if truly taking you in for the first time. Her gaze was so intense, like it was filling your lungs with cotton, you had to look away to breathe. When you looked back, she smiled too and squeezed your hand once more before letting go. “An angel.” She repeated, voice so soft you wouldn’t have known what she said if you weren’t gazing at her lips.

  You ended up staying until dinner before heading home. 

  It was around noon the next day that Carol frantically phoned you, going on and on about an important event that night that had slipped her mind. When you agreed to watch Rindy you could have sworn she was glowing with relief.

  You hardly saw Carol when you arrived as the second you came inside, she was out the door. But she did give you a quick kiss on the cheek, a habit she’d picked up when you were especially life saving.

  You and Rindy had a fun night of board games, mac and cheese, and her favorite movie that you caught on tv. She was out like a light at 9:00 and soon you had the house to yourself.

  When you put Rindy to bed you settled down at the piano in the study. You could’ve sworn you heard the door open but when you called, nobody replied, so you focused your study on the instrument. 

  It was only after you finished the song that you noticed Carol stood in the doorway, watching. She wasn’t sober, clearly. Her eyes were red, her dress a little rumpled and lipstick smudged, probably from downing multiple cups of rich champagne.

  “Oh, Carol, I’m sorry.” You got up quickly. “I didn’t hear you come in… how was it?”

  Carol’s hazy eyes met yours. “It was… horrible, truly. Long, exhausting speeches with no point. Crowds packed like sardines. Stupid, stupid people…” She muttered to herself, trailing off. Then suddenly: “I didn’t know you played the piano.”

  “Just as a hobby.”

  “You’re quite good.” Carol pressed her head into the frame of the door, clutching it tightly as though seeking out the cold from the wood. “I’m sorry… I drank more than I realized. I’m not the best with alcohol.”

  “Oh, it’s alright.” You were at her side within seconds. “Can I get you anything?”

  “Just… help me to the couch. I’m a little dizzy.”

  You quietly guided Carol into the living room, hand resting firm on her back. She sank into the cushions with a breath of relief, head falling back. 

  “Thank you. I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to return like this.” Carol mumbled, draping a hand over her eyes. “The champagne was too tempting to pass up.. I cannot survive a party with my nerves as frayed as they are… goodness, can you get me some water?”

  You got her a glass of water and she took it shakily, lifting the rim to her lips.

  “Much better…” Carol drank half of the glass, then set it aside. She’d sobered up a bit since sitting down. “How is Rindy? Is she asleep?”

  Just as you were about to respond, there was a thump from upstairs. Rindy had a habit of restless sleep and would often roll out of bed without even waking up.

  The two of you exchanged a glance and Carol began to rise but you set your hand on her arm. “I’ll do it.” You murmured. She didn’t bother arguing.

  You went back upstairs and, as expected, Rindy was now asleep on the floor, wrapped tight in a fuzzy flannel blanket. You scooped her back up and tucked her into bed.

  You stopped on the stairs back down, fingers quietly clasping around the railing. Carol was standing now over by the window. Her shoulders were shaking softly and you could hear whimpers. 

  You knew that you should probably go back upstairs and give her a few minutes of peace but you couldn’t. It was like your feet were glued to the stairs… and when they weren’t, you were walking towards her.

  Carol didn’t turn to face you this time, one hand clasped over her mouth to muffle her sobs.

  Her sweater was warm beneath your hand. You traced your thumb across the pattern, feeling the soft grain of it. She pressed her back into your palm and sniffled.

  “I don’t know what to do…” Carol whispered to you, sounding fully sober now. “Everything’s falling apart.”

  “Is it Harge?”

  “Harge, Rindy, Abby, everything…” Carol’s voice cracked. “Anything I do only makes it worse. Maybe… maybe Harge is right… that I’m not good for Rindy.”

  The simple admission sent her bursting into sobs. Broken, pained and guttural sobs.

  “Don’t say that.” You slowly slipped your arms around her, holding her from behind. You’d hugged her before but this felt more intimate than ever… you just hoped she couldn’t feel your racing heart.

  Even if she could, Carol said nothing as she leaned back into you. She looked over her shoulder and sniffled, mascara running down her face. “You don’t need to lie to me, Y/n… I-I know what’s best for my baby, and it’s n-not me.”

  “No, no…” You cooed softly, squeezing her middle as you held her tight from behind. “Carol, Rindy needs her mother, and you’re the best mother she’s got.”

  The older woman sniffled, then gently grabbed your arm. You loosened your grip around her and she turned to face you, then pulled you into her arms and buried her face into your neck.

  You held her as she cried, rocking her from side to side as you rubbed her back. She sobbed her heart out, a little more emotional than usual from the alcohol in the system, but mostly because of the exhaustion of the growing weight on her shoulders. There was nowhere else she could go, nobody else to turn to, but you.

  “I’m horrible…” Carol whispered against your shoulder. 

  “Not at all.” You murmured softly, moving one hand to gently twirl the ends of her hair with a shake of your head. “You’re wonderful.”

  “You’re just lying to make me feel better.”

  “No. I’m not.”

  Carol slowly lifted her head to meet your gaze, her eyes teary and red. “Why… Why are you so good to me?” Her whisper was broken and sad. “I-I don’t… I don’t understand.”

  “Because you’ve only ever been good to me.” You whispered soothingly. Your hand slipped beneath the sleeve of your shirt and you wiped the tears from her face with the fabric. 

  “I’ve deceived you as well. then.” Carol whimpered pathetically. “I’m horrible, y/n. I’m so sorry…”

  “Stop it with that.” Before you realized what was happening, your palm was against her warm, damp cheek. You weren’t sure if the blush across her face was from crying or your actions but you didn’t pull away. With your thumb, you gently caressed the side of her face. “You’re not horrible.”

  “I-I…”

  “You’re not.” You insisted. “Say it.”

  Carol’s lips trembled and she pressed her cheek further into your hand. With a sniffle, she opened her mouth. “I’m not… I’m not horrible.” She choked out weakly.

  “There you go.” You smiled. You brushed her hair out of her face and smoothed it back down. “It’s easier to believe if you say it.”

  The older woman hiccuped softly and closed her eyes. A few more tears fell down her face and were quickly wiped away by your caring hand. She took a deep shaky breath, then opened her eyes again to meet yours. “...drinking makes me emotional.” Her words were half truth, drinking did in fact make her emotional, but even without the drinks she probably would’ve broken down.

  “That’s okay.” You chuckled, loosening your grip on her waist. She was about to let go of your shoulders but stopped.

  Her face was inches from yours, her soft, trembling breath on your face as she stared into your eyes with an odd look on her face, as though you’d just taught her something unheard of. Her lips trembled again and she blinked rapidly, then leaned a little closer. 

  “Y/n…” The tip of her nose brushed against yours. One of her hands found the back of your head.

  “Carol…” You whispered in return, feeling your heart lurch. You shouldn’t be doing this, really. This was the last thing Carol needed. She was tipsy and an emotional wreck, you were just an outlet for her to take her pain out on. You should pull away.

  But you couldn't bring yourself to do so. The desperation in her eyes was clear. She was begging you without words, yet you could hear just what she’d say in your mind.

  You’d never been kissed before. You slowly leaned your head forward until it was hardly an inch away from hers, then you stopped.

  Taking the hint, Carol closed the gap between the two of you.

  You never wanted to pull away from the kiss. The second her lips found yours, your eyes fluttered shut and she sank into you like every bone in her body turned to liquid. It was a sweet kiss, warm, longing, yet oddly affectionate. Your heart nearly leapt out of your chest and if you weren’t responsible for keeping Carol from falling onto the floor, you would’ve swooned.

  Her hands found their way into your hair, gripping the locks gently and holding your head against hers. She kissed you with a strange ferocity, both velvet and electric. If she hadn’t run out of breath, she wouldn’t have pulled away.

  Carol slowly and reluctantly broke the kiss, straightening herself back up. There was a different look in her eyes now, the haze of worry and depression now replaced with the softest lust and the warmest relief. The kiss rejuvenated her. She could stand on her own now, though she kept her hand on your arm.

  “Thank you.” Carol whispered before planting a kiss on your forehead. She offered you a small little smile and dusted herself off. You fixed her hair. Then she took a step back, a little wobbly once more. “I should… go to bed. I fear I’ll be rather sick tomorrow.”

  “Drink lots of water.” You finally managed to rasp, earning a laugh from the older woman.

  “I will, I promise.” She nodded. “Your money is on the table… should I call a cab?” Her eyes fell to the window. It was snowing outside. Most cab drivers weren’t fans of driving from here to the city and back in this weather. “Perhaps it would be best if you stayed.”

  If it weren’t for the tone in her voice, you wouldn’t bat an eye. You’d stayed over plenty of times before when the hours slipped past you, often falling asleep on the couch and waking up to a blanket over your body or gratefully accepting her invitation to stay in the guest room. But this time it was different.

  Carol’s eyes lingered on you a moment longer than necessary. “Would you be a dear and stay, Y/n? I’m sure I’ll be a wreck tomorrow… having you to take care of Rindy would be a blessing.”

  “I’d love to stay.” You nodded.

  “Sweet thing…” Carol murmured, grip tightening on the railing of the stairs. She pressed herself into the wall for a moment. “I don’t suppose you’d bring a glass of water and some pain killers to my room? I need to lay down…”

  “Go lay down, I’ll be there in a moment.” You nodded. Carol called a faint ‘thank you’ before ascending upstairs to her room. You quickly grabbed the items of her request and followed her trail, hesitating in front of her door. Then you nudged it open.

  Carol was laying in bed in a nightgown. She smiled sleepily as you stuck your head in the room and beckoned you with one hand. “I haven’t had the time to tidy the guest bedroom.”

  “That’s alright, I don’t mind.” You set her treasures down on the nightstand, reaching to tuck her in.

  “I do.” Carol’s fingers lightly wrapped around your wrist. “Stay… won’t you?”

  How could you deny her? Every word from her mouth only enamored you more. With a soft smile and red face, you joined her in bed, feeling yourself get enveloped in the lavish sheets and warm arms.

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

The last time TK and Carlos talk about Jonah onscreen is after the raid on the house in ep 8. And then in ep 9 TK tells Tommy and Nancy that if it's a choice between Jonah and Carlos he chooses Jonah, and Carlos needs to make a decision. At this point TK doesn't seem to have much hope that Carlos will change his mind from where it was.

What I'm struggling with is the fact that the quick words exchanged between them after the raid were apparently the end of their conversation about Jonah full stop. After that TK is apparently in a position to tell his work colleagues that they might be splitting up, which felt like a huge leap to me. Am I missing something? You seemed to enjoy the plotline and filling in the gaps so I'm curious for your thoughts!

Well, thank you, anon! I appreciate this opportunity!

This is all off the top of my head after just one viewing of the episode. I'm sure I'll work on my headcanons and modify things as I rewatch and discuss and read fic, but I surely have THOUGHTS about how to fill in these blanks for now.

(Ok, this got long so...under the cut lol)

The way I see it they never really had the opportunity to continue their conversation. Trying to figure out anything to do with a timeline on this show is usually a losing battle, but from what I can see, they likely weren't home together (or at least not home and awake at the same time) between the events of episodes 8 and 9.

We don't know what Carlos did after leaving the hospital in episode 8, but he was obviously very shaken by what he found out from Nestor Grimes. It's incredibly likely, really almost certain, that he immediately went to start investigating those CIs who were killed and gathered the information he presents to Bridges at the beginning of 9. So Carlos probably got home late when TK was already asleep. Then, the next morning (I'm going with it being the next morning because it works for me and I don't think the show contradicts it lol), Carlos goes to work early, ready to show Bridges what he found. It's very possible he left before TK woke up. Even if they were briefly home and awake at the same time, with everything on Carlos' mind and his urgency to get to work to talk to Bridges, I doubt they would have had a serious conversation about Jonah right then. Really, it works best for me if they don't even see each other, so that's what I'm going with!

I think this goes a long way towards explaining TK's stance early in the episode. He has decided that he needs to take Jonah. He can't abandon his brother. I think this is very valid and incredibly in character for him. In the brief moments that he was able to talk to Carlos about this, Carlos was resistant to the choice TK has already made, but they weren't able to finish the conversation. As far as TK knows, the murder investigation isn't going to end anytime soon, and he might even be a little extra annoyed with Carlos for not coming home early enough to allow them to talk this through all the way (particularly if he has no idea of the monumental revelations that are rocking Carlos' world right now, which I think it's likely he doesn't.)

Carlos may not feel able to adopt a toddler right now, but TK HAS TO. I don't think TK is sitting there planning to initiate divorce proceedings, but I feel like it's reasonable and realistic for him to be thinking that if Carlos does not feel able to make the same choice he is making, this could break them. But I don't see it as TK not having much hope that Carlos will change his mind. I think he's really just unsure about what's going to happen and what choice Carlos is going to make. Carlos hasn't been given the opportunity to make his choice yet. He isn't going to force Carlos to do this, he hasn't sat Carlos down and given him an ultimatum, and I don't think he knows what's going to happen to them in that moment. But the one thing he is sure about is that he's going to adopt Jonah. It doesn't bother me that he tells Nancy and Tommy this because they aren't just his work colleagues, they're his FAMILY. He probably would like to be telling Carlos, but circumstances have prevented them from getting that chance, and this is not a conversation you have over texting!

So then throughout the course of episode 9, TK and Carlos don't ever get the chance to talk. Carlos is going through some MAJOR SITUATIONS, but it's all happening very fast, and TK is also at work by this point. What Carlos is going through is also something that he's not going to be able to fully tell TK through texts or even a quick conversation at the scene. When TK and Carlos are at the scene together, it's night. Then, when Carlos is in Presidio for their Ranger Soup manhunt, it's day, so clearly another day has passed. However, has Carlos been home? I'm sure he hasn't. I looked and Presidio, Texas is about 8 hours from Austin. Sam is trying to cross the border into Mexico and they need to intercept him before he does. That means they must have driven there straight through the night. I have to imagine Carlos gave TK some information about what was going on, but I doubt he had the opportunity to tell him the whole story, and they certainly didn't have a chance to discuss Jonah. Maybe TK himself was on a 24 hour shift at the time so they didn't have time for more than a quick update of where Carlos was going and when he might be back. Then, Carlos gets shot and ends up in the hospital.

Since we're told the bullet simply ricocheted out of Carlos (😂), I'm thinking he was not in the hospital for very long. Since you only have to be in the hospital a few days and are immediately fine after enduring a coma, I think it's safe to assume a bullet ricochet situation only requires an overnight stay. I'm not sure where Carlos would be in the hospital, but probably not Austin, since he got shot in Presidio, which is 8 hours away. This means TK would have to be driving to get to him, so I guess I'm going to assume TK hadn't arrived yet when we see Carlos in the hospital. He was certainly on his way! Since Carlos was up and about, he would definitely have communicated with TK by phone by that point, so TK knows Carlos is ok. When TK finally arrives at the hospital, I imagine a big conversation about Jonah would be the furthest thing from his mind! Carlos could have DIED and also he just SOLVED HIS FATHER'S MURDER! They have so much to talk about aside from the Jonah situation.

Next, Carlos gets discharged from the hospital and comes home. He and TK have conversations about Gabriel and his grief. They probably talked a bit about Jonah as well, but I could imagine TK may have put off the real serious decision-making conversation himself at this point. He knows that the real roadblock to Carlos making a decision on this issue was his search for his father's murderer. That search is over now and Carlos is dealing with the immediate aftermath, not at all an easy thing to be confronted with. I could absolutely see TK saying "let's not talk about this right now" and not pushing it on him or forcing him to make a decision in the midst of everything else. While the Jonah situation is somewhat urgent, it's probably not so urgent that they can't take a couple days when such a monumental thing has occurred.

I think things are still moving very quickly because Carlos hasn't even told Andrea the whole story yet, as he mentions to Gabriel that he is going to do that next. The way I imagine it, Carlos probably came home from the hospital, went to bed, got up and went through some kind of Ranger debriefing in the morning, went to the cemetery with TK, and then planned to go see Andrea. During that time, TK has taken care of him and given him comfort and talked to him about his father. Carlos has been sorting everything through in his mind...it's A LOT!! And he has now come to the conclusion that it's time to tell TK he's ready.

Ok, this is all very long and I doubt anyone has read to this point so I'll stop now lol

I'm sure I'll have many more thoughts on this subject in the coming weeks!

[tangosyourtek]

I can’t help myself… trick or treat? [no pressure to respond though!] [gives you candy/fun treat of choice preemptively because I love your headcanons]

Hi! And thank you so much!! 🫶

You get a treat! 🍬🍫 (I saw mischaracterization of ranchers, and I desperately need to ramble about them through the whole life series, so I apologize that this isn’t really a “headcanon.”) Also, apologies if it doesn’t really seem like a “treat” 🙈.

*~

Of course, they met before Double Life, but they never interacted for very long or spent time alone, so Double Life is where everything happened. I like the idea of Tango crushing on Jimmy in 3rd and Last Life (mainly because I love 🌹💍 erasure), but I don’t think they ever lingered on each other long enough to pass that as fact.

They got to know each other in Double Life, and it was such a great experience for them, but I don’t think they ever labeled what they had and were just “Ranchers.” Nor do I think they had enough time to consider that their growing affections were encroaching on serious levels.

Then, they were separated and didn’t have any contact. Their relationship had a big question mark on it, and they had a gaping hole in their chest where their soulbond linked. They wallowed like that for a while and busied themselves in their work. If the strain in their muscles distracted them from the ache in their chest, or the cold/scalding hot shower made them feel something for once, who will know?

By some miracle, they were reunited, and in that excitement, they didn’t care about labeling their relationship. They were so happy and relieved to see each other and felt whole again, but they had to part ways. Feelings came rushing back, as did that empty hole, and maybe some thoughts got loud.

Then, another death game.

I interpret Ranchers in Limited Life as the direct bridge between their unlabeled relationship and what they are right now. They are on opposite sides, fighting against each other, and that makes trying to navigate this relationship and talk about it hard. Did their relationship stay unlabeled because the other didn’t want it? Are they on opposite sides because they want to put it in the past and move on? They could remain kind and cordial to each other, but how long can they wait for the other to close that gap between them? I think Jimmy realized in this season that he will always be in Tango’s corner. He refused to join the hunt on Tango and refused to tell his ex that he loved him back. (I’m so incredibly proud of Jimmy at that moment. STAND YOUR GROUND, KING.) And Tango equally acknowledged that for himself. He could have gotten mad (or played a divorce arc) when the bad boys were killing him and his team, but he congratulates Jimmy instead and tells him good job.

Secret Life ranchers was so insane I can’t believe I even need to explain this… (maybe I played a part in it because I love exaggerating and talked about them “being over” all the time, BUT IN MY DEFENCE I WAS MOURNING A TEAMUP) They have an established relationship in this season, they know what they are and what they mean to each other whether that was through a conversation or went unspoken, who knows. Only they do. Jimmy goes after Tango and says he “loves his noises,” and Tango throws himself into TNT for his rancher, which was so incredibly gay. That man is down BAD. That was not a divorce arc; if anything, that said, “You’re mine, and I’m yours.”

And finally, Wild Life. It's currently ongoing, so we’ll see what more happens and if anything changes slightly (I have a lot of faith that they will still be gay lovers). But already, it’s giving vibes that they have started to be more open about their relationship and tell other people. (Everyone already knew something was up, but this physically confirms it). Like, how else am I supposed to take Mumbo saying “No! He’s with Tango!” about Jimmy? And Jimmy rushing to say they’re “just friends”; he’s definitely feeling shy and giddy about it. Maybe he also feels pleasure in dragging on the “we’re so into each other but aren’t doing anything about it” bit everyone hates to watch.

Anyway, sorry, I had to ramble. I saw someone imply that Tango is mean to Jimmy, and I definitely think it comes from their Limited/Secret Life interactions because I refuse to believe another person fell victim to the “Tango is sassy = Tango is mean” mentality.

[nininikki]

𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘, 𝐌𝐑. 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓 | eren jaeger x black

II. what did i tell you?

✧ summary! — following a blundered primary and a heated argument with his wife, eren knows exactly who to call.

✧ warnings! — mentions of alcohol consumption, suggestive sexual language, adultery (eren is an aspiring cheater again), age gap—reader is 29 and eren is 40

✧ author’s note! — part 2 is here! so happy that you all are loving this series & i thank you for all the support!! 🤎🪽 lmk if i missed anything in the warnings!

✧ word count! — 2.5k

AUGUST 12, THREE MONTHS BEFORE THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION 

“i can’t even…” mikasa sputtered, running a shaky hand through the sable—and once perfectly coiffed—hair atop her head. “i can’t believe you, eren.” she let the sleek mop of her fur coat droop down her arms, seemingly indifferent as to whether or not it landed on the nearby coat rack. as he watched it collide with the tile floor of their foyer, eren recalled the eight thousand dollar price with a scoff.

“save it, mika.” eren huffed, trying to drown out the sounds of her heels clicking against the floor as she tailed him into the living room.

“oh, trust me, i have. i saved it on the bus. i saved it on the plane. i even saved it on the ride home when it was just the two of us.”

“i meant save it for someone who wants to hear it, ‘cause i sure as hell don’t, mikasa.” he blew the words out as an exasperated sigh.

mikasa barked, the tone of her voice akin to a creaky window. “i’m gonna speak now, and you will hear every word!” 

eren could tell just by the way the words scratched against her throat that she was about to lay it on thick. and mikasa had a very poor habit of not knowing when to fucking stop. if he wanted to listen to someone berate him for every mistake he’d ever made, he’d pick up the phone and call his father.

“honestly, eren, do you even want this election?”

“of course i do. do you not see how hard i’ve been working?”

“oh, is that what that was? were you working hard at that primary, because all you managed to do was piss me off.”

“don’t start with me right now. i’m not in the damn mood for this.”

“and you think i am? you think i’m in the mood to be having this conversation?” mikasa laughed, but it felt more like a sarcastically delighted scoff. her eyes went glossy with something familiarly maniacal, and eren could more than tell what she was getting ready to do. arranging a beautiful artillery of words at the tip of her tongue for the sole purpose of destroying him in that very moment. “i mean, do you not realize how lucky you are? you’re smart, you’re rich, you’re handsome, you come from one of the most powerful families in the country. you could have the office right now if you wanted. but you don’t want it.

“i had dreams, y’know. i could’ve been a partner at my firm, but i gave it up. and for what? so you could screw around behind that podium?” mikasa kicked out of her shoes before hooking the heels under her fingers.

eren released the bridge of his nose from the pressing grip of his fingers. “i’ll be at the guest house tonight.”

mikasa only sighed. they seldom got in fights that led to them sleeping separately, but in those rare instances, it was the best (and sometimes the only) option. “right. well, get some rest. we’re meeting with levi tomorrow.”

he took a chance glance into his wife’s eyes—an oasis of grey, brimming with thoughts and emotions of which she had barred his access. save for the frustration evident on all the other parts of her face.

it was so eerily similar to that of his mother. he could count on both hands the number of times she blinked that same world-weary gaze in his father’s direction. how long had she been sleeping in the guest bedroom before she’d considered a divorce?

“yeah. you too.”

14 MAY, SIX MONTHS AFTER THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION

“don’t even try to deny it.” mikasa said. a sick, wifely part of her burned with satisfaction at the sight of your infuriatingly beautiful face—cracked into a myriad of distressing pieces, like a plate she’d just struck with a hammer. “and before you ask, no. i don’t have proof.” if she were being a hundred percent honest with herself, it hadn’t even crossed her mind to gather any proof. what had her marriage done to her? she was a lawyer, and top of her class, godamnit! if eren’s classless affair reduced her to a point of throwing around baseless accusations, then she was just as bad as him. which meant that she needn’t waste any more time on this than absolutely necessary. “but i don’t need any, either. i mean, look at you two.”

you scoffed, seeming to forget that your glass was empty and being met with a jarring (and actually rather rude) slurping noise. thankfully, the waiter was there to swipe the glass from your hand before any more damage to her ears could be done. although, mikasa was almost sick with pleasure as she watched your futile attempt at trying not to crumble. “look at—look at what, exactly?”

“i don’t know what it was, but part of me could just tell he wanted you. maybe it was me being his wife and such, but i just knew. that first night i introduced you two, he had this—this hard-on in his eyes whenever he looked at you.” she thought back to that very night. where you’d seemingly been oblivious to her husband ogling you like you were a piece of meat. “but i could deal with that. i could screw him a little more often. we were supposed to be trying anyway. but then,” at the mention of them trying, mikasa caught you shifting uncomfortably in your seat, and thought to herself, good. she hoped your mind would run itself wild imagining all the trying they did.

“but then?”

mikasa had to brace herself. because eren could be as horny for as many twenty year olds as he wanted. he could have as many stupid, meaningless affairs as he wanted. him being unhappy in their marriage, she could handle that. her husband being careless enough to risk his presidency over some college freshman, she could handle that. none of it would’ve been worse than what he actually did. “i think he actually started to like you.”

AUGUST 12, THREE MONTHS BEFORE THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION

you put your house phone out of its ringing misery with a clipped, “hello,” for you had barely graced past your front door and kicked off your heels when it began it’s treacherous trill.

“bad time?” the voice on the other end answered, a voice you immediately (and with some chagrin) recognized to be governor eren jaeger. it’s smooth and relaxed, like he’s just ran a glass of whiskey down his throat. your drunken timbre feels clumsy in comparison.

“oh.” you realize aloud, situating yourself at the foot of your bed. “hi, mr. governor.”

“unh-unh. what did i tell you?”

almost giddily, you plunged your head backwards into your plush, messy comforter, your house phone still clutched in your fingers. “eren.” a low hum rumbled through the receiver, as palpable as though your ear was pressed against his chest. this was an unbelievably bad time for you. your body was still mangled with remnants of fun. you were drunk, sprinkled in party glitter, and you had sporadically made out with jean kirschtein, so you were a little horny too.

“that’s better.” this was so incredibly bad for you. eren was so incredibly bad for you. he was even more enticing over the phone, if not more so. you were so stupid, and you were so screwed if you stayed on the phone with him any longer.

but, really, you couldn’t help yourself. “well, eren, how’d you get my number?” 

“uh, mikasa, actually. she wrote it in my planner.”

“that sounds like her. are you forgetful like that?” in the background, you heard the almost hypnotizing sounds of ice clink-ing against a glass. somehow, you just knew it was scotch he was drinking, and you couldn’t fight the various mental images that came with that knowing. 

eren only chuckled, and you could practically feel the scotch roll down his throat. “oh, she doesn’t do it for me. it’s in case her planner gets caught in a fire or something.”

at that, a clumsy laugh punched from your throat. “can’t tell if you’re funny or if i’m just drunk.”

“which do you think it is?” your dress suddenly began to feel like a thousand pounds of hot fur on your body rather than the skimpy piece of sequins that it was. eren did that to you. and when you left an ecstatic giggle in the form of your answer, he only further egged you on in your flustered state. “what, you think i’m funny? c’mon tell me.”

if he were in front of you at that moment, you would’ve slipped from your dress without a second’s hesitation. how crazy would it be for you to take your dress off while you were on the phone with him? it’s not like he’d see it or anything. but you so desperately wanted him to, and the fact that he wouldn’t made you so fucking crazy. “i think that you’re lots of things, eren.”

“mhm, like what?”

“can’t say. i’m too drunk.” you let your eyes press shut for a bit, trying almost futilely to think of anything that didn’t involve flashing the governor of california. “and, hey, why’d you call me, anyway? not that i mind or anything, but don’t you have, like, an election to win?”

eren breathed a sigh—docile, yet so strangely and dangerously persuasive. “yeah, but…talking to you is a lot more fun.”

“noooo, come on. tell me the real reason.”

“that is the real reason. i swear on it. we actually were supposed to call you at some point and congratulate you on the premiere. just figured i should get around to it now.”

“do you call all your famous actress friends at—” you cut your eyes over to the alarm clock on your bedside table. “—almost one in the morning? i mean, you’re lucky i was coming home from a party, and not dead asleep or something.”

“party, huh?”

“yeah.” you actually couldn’t help the way your thighs pressed together. “still got my dress on and everything.”

“really?” the muffled sound of him shuffling in his seat made you pinch your lip between your teeth.

you giggled, a reaction you’d probably have to start getting used to for as long as you were around him. “yeah.”

“bet you look real pretty.” he thinks i’m pretty. you could’ve moaned at the thought. 

suddenly, your voice was a higher, breathier octave. like you were whispering the words in his ears. “are you thinking about what i look like in my dress?”

“why wouldn’t i be?”

you wanted to take it further. you wanted to ask him what he was wearing. you wanted to ask him if you were making him hard, although a part of you knew you were. you wanted to slide your fingers under your panties and let him hear just how bad he was for you.

just as desire began to pool in your belly, so did a sharp pang of guilt. married man, married man, married man. but he had thrown a few compliments your way and you managed to forget all about that.

“eren,” how wrong would it be for you to slide your dress up your legs until it bunched at your waist? “you know we...” if you slipped the straps off your shoulders and let the rest fall from there, what then? “we c—”

“i know, i know.” he cooed, and his voice crawled out of the receiver and laced you with something. you needed him to whisper those words over your ears, or between your lips, or against whatever body part of yours he’d just finished kissing. you needed it so bad you could’ve cried. “i’m sorry.”

you sat upright, feeling immediately more sober than you had all night. “don’t be.”

“let me. let me be sorry, because i am.” the way he spoke to you was so toothachingly sweet, you think you would walk yourself off a cliff if he was talking you through it. “‘m sorry.”

your eyes close, and you were not sure if they were fluttering shut from tiredness or pressing closed from angst. the only thing you were sure of was that this conversation couldn’t possibly continue any longer. “it’s alright. i think i should be getting to bed anyway. i don’t usually stay up this late talking to future presidents.”

eren chuckled. “maybe you should do it more often.”

“maybe i should.”

AUGUST 12, THREE MONTHS BEFORE THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION

“what the fuck,” was how you answered the phone the following morning. you had fallen asleep with it still tucked against your ear and clutched between your fingers, so you’d felt its ringing in all of its chirruping treachery. 

“bad time again?” eren responded, his voice tiptoeing over a laugh. 

“extremely.” you sat up in bed and took a chance glance at your bedside clock. the only person who could get a pre-eleven o’clock answer from you on one of your off days was hange. and even they knew that the resulting response was usually so grouchy that they’d be better off not bothering. so it all but bewildered you as to why you’d even let eren stay on the phone long enough to come to this realization. “it’s barely ten.”

“so i gather you’re not a morning person?” eren seemed to be the exact opposite. his voice was as brilliantly ecstatic at ten in the morning as yours would normally be after a shot of tequila. it made you want to swing your curtains open and stand tall in the sun, even with the headache spearing through your skull.

despite the small onslaught of revelations, you answered, “if it wasn’t obvious enough.”

“sooo, i’m assuming this is a really bad time to invite you to dinner with mikasa and i.”

“dinner?”

you’re only briefly surprised at his audacity to ask you to dinner with his wife after the night you two had. but then again, you doubt he would’ve even called you if she hadn’t planted your number in his planner. the realization was an emotional whiplash that wasn’t helped by your hungover state. 

“uh, yeah. i meant to ask last night, but i guess i didn’t really get around to it.”

i wonder why, you’d wanted to say, but suppressed the urge with a cough. “oh, well, i—”

“and don’t feel pressured to say yes. i know my wife can be a force.”

his wife. the woman who probably awoke him this morning with a smattering of kisses. the woman who felt his arms wrap around her in the comfort of their bed not two minutes after he’d gotten off the phone with you. the same woman whose eyes were filled with nothing but guilt-inducing kindness when she invited you over for golf that night.

the answer should be a flat no. sorry, eren. i don’t think i can do dinner with you and your wife. partly because i’m very obviously and very, very inappropriately sexually attracted to you. and partly because i think i’m a little jealous of your wife. i haven’t quite unpacked that part yet, but i’m sure here—on the phone with you—is probably the worst place to do it. yeah, uh, bye. so, when you fix your stupid lips to say, “eren, the last thing you could ever do is pressure me. of course i’ll go.” you can only assume it’s for those same reasons.

tags ✧˖*°࿐ — @nyanglock @beyondsuki @westcinny @taylarxse @ittostan @rensbby @madsoncrack @shawtynoire @braxxinterlude @kai7911

© NININIKKI. do not translate, copy, or modify my works in any way shape or form.

[suzdin]

Two For One

(Dave York x Max Phillips x f!reader)

Summary: You move from Texas to Boston to live with your boyfriend, but he dumps you soon after the move, and you’re forced to find your own place and get a job. You meet two men a few months later, Max Phillips, a regular at the coffee shop you work at, and Dave York, your neighbor. Things begin to heat up soon after.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, pre-vampire Max, pre-Equalizer 2 Dave, small age gap (unspecified), no use of y/n, some angst, mention of self-unaliving, mention of divorce/familial trauma, mention of weapons, romance, no fluff, alcohol use, drug use, smut, graphic depictions of sex, rough sex, bondage, degradation, dubcon?, dom!Max, spanking, fingering, public masturbation, stalking, I’m not used to doing warnings I’m sorry if I missed anything, Max is an asshole and Dave is creepy, forgive me idk what I’m doing 🤷‍♀️

——

Dave York is an empty husk of a man ever since the divorce. Even more so since he had sunk all of his life savings—what little was left of it, after all was said and done—into some shitty, grossly overpriced apartment in Boston just so he could give Carol and the girls the space his ex-wife had specifically requested.

He wasn’t fool enough to believe he and Carol could somehow recuscite what once was there and now lost. That was a bridge that had been crossed and burnt to cinders years ago, little more than dust in the wind at present.

In spite of himself, the desire was still there on the longest, loneliest stretches of nights, lingering; hardly a flicker, but it was there.

Not to mention his girls. He missed Mollie and Alice so goddamn much. Twice a month visitations were not enough to diminish his need to be near them, protect them. It was even harder on his daughters, which was plain enough to see by their tear-streaked faces at the beginning and end of every weekend, with the middle being some kind of hazy, unsatisfactory torpor.

If not for them, he would have chosen somewhere cheaper to live. Mexico, maybe.

But he hadn’t. He’d chosen Boston, because it was just close enough to be within a day’s drive of the home they once shared in Virginia, but far enough for Carol to be satisfied that he wouldn’t randomly show up outside of scheduled visitations.

The reality of it all was enough to make him want to say fuck it and put a gun in his mouth. He’d do less damage to the girls that way, he thinks. A one and done.

That was until he met you.

He first noticed you at the bagel shop across the street, smiling pleasantly at the man handing you your everything bagel with extra cream cheese. Then again at the laundromat down the street, trying but failing to hide your lacy underthings from view; he was impervious to stop himself from stealing a glance at them when your back was turned.

It didn’t take him long to deduce that you lived in the building next to his. It was smaller, with only eight units, unlike his, which happened to be twelve. He’d learned that you lived on the top floor, in the smallest unit: a studio apartment at the end of the hall, which faced the street.

You were always so polite. Buttoned up, almost. You weren’t the typical, loud, crass Bostonian he was used to: you weren’t a local. The slight sweetness to your voice suggested maybe you were from somewhere in the south. It was faint, but it was there.

He would catch you carrying in groceries to your building sometimes. He always asked if you needed his help, but you never did, because you never had more than one or two bags worth. He never saw you with anyone, and the meager amount of groceries you had only cemented the idea that you lived alone.

He would occasionally find you bringing home liquor bottles, usually tequila or vodka, but even on those nights…it was only you.

In fact, in the weeks since he had first laid eyes on you, he hadn’t recalled ever seeing you with anyone.

It unsettled him to think of you up there, in your tiny studio apartment, drinking alone. Was there something—or someone—you were trying to forget?

He should be the one drinking with you.

There’s a small window in his bathroom where he has a scant view into your apartment, facing your front door. There isn’t much to see—fleeting glimpses if anything, a blue wall with pictures he can’t quite make out—but it’s enough for Dave. He likes to watch you leave for work, as he can often see your hand reaching for the keys you have hanging by your front door.

He’s gotten himself off a few times just seeing your soft, lovely hand, imagining how it would feel wrapped around his cock.

Dave doesn’t think he’s wanted anyone as much as he wants you.

——

You work at a coffee shop about three blocks from your home called The Beanery.

A dumb name, in your opinion.

You’ve only been working there about six months, but you’ve already been promoted to manager. It isn’t exactly the lifestyle you had envisioned when you made the trek from Fort Worth to Boston, but it pays your bills.

You’d been forced to get a job there when Jonathan—whom you’d moved to Boston for not even a year ago—had left you for another woman in upstate New York, leaving you to fend for yourself in an unfamiliar city.

You were only working there until you could make enough money to move back home. That’s what you kept telling yourself, anyway. It was hard to save when rent in this city was astronomical.

Dave is on one of his early morning runs past the coffee shop the day he finds you telling a man in a cheap looking business suit, in no uncertain terms, to fuck off.

Until now, he had never worked up the courage to go inside; to talk to you. He often saw you behind the counter, toiling away, a look of rumination gracing your features, as if you’d rather be somewhere else.

He’d always wanted to go in and order something overpriced that he didn’t even want…just to have the chance to talk to you more than a few mumbled words at a time.

But he never had, because he didn’t want to be a burden to you. Another faceless customer to make your day feel longer, harder.

That was until he saw you confronting a man who was easily twice your size. You were on the other side of the counter now, staring the man down, a fire blazing on your countenance that Dave couldn’t deny made him want to make the man disappear for good.

He’d made many men disappear. Men who were far more dangerous and terrifying than whoever this pathetic excuse for one was.

He’d never seen you this worked up before. You were always so quiet; so polite and unassuming.

You’re pointing at the door and telling the man to get the fuck out and never come back.

The man—whoever he is—squares up to you. Leans over you, trying to intimidate you as you stare each other down. His face is close to yours—too close.

It makes Dave sick. He wants to break the fucking man in half.

“What do you plan on doing about it, sweetheart?” the man asks you. Challenging you, with a crooked, shit eating grin on his face.

That alone is enough for Dave to do something about it. His need, his desire to protect something, someone—which he hasn’t been able to do in so long—now focused into a tight arc, right at you.

He swings open the coffee shop door, little bells chiming from somewhere above him, and closes the ground between himself and the other man faster than you think should be possible.

You see Dave before Max does. You recognize him from your neighborhood, and from all the times you’ve watched him jog past the coffee shop. You’d swear he had a crush on you, if you didn’t know any better.

He grabs a fistful of Max’s suit and yanks him back. It’s absolutely effortless for him—you’ve never paid much attention before now, but he’s tall. And broad.

It makes your breath catch in your throat.

He spins Max—who is now furious—to face him directly. Max looks as though he wants to throw a punch…until he gets a good look at Dave.

“Hey! What is your fucking problem, pal?” he fumes.

“I think the lady asked you to leave,” Dave states plainly. There’s an edge to it.

Max scoffs, inclining his head toward you now, smirking. “Is this white knight your boyfriend, or something?” he asks, his tone thick with consternation.

“No. Just…a friend,” you say, looking at Dave, who still has Max in his clutches. Dave stares back. You swear there’s something there.

“And if I don’t leave?” he asks, and you’re not sure if he’s asking you or Dave. You answer him anyway.

“I’ll call the cops,” you reply. Dave nods in silent approval.

Max rolls the edge of his tongue over his perfect white teeth, holding up both hands in defeat. “Alright, alright. Don’t have to ask me twice,” he says with a sardonic grin, turning to leave. “Coffee tastes like shit anyway.”

Dave releases his grip and Max turns toward the door. The two men shoulder each other as Max passes, and for a moment, you think there may be a fight. They stare at one another, sizing each other up; Dave’s face is stone while Max smirks, tauntingly.

It makes your skin prickle and your core flush with heat all at once, watching the two men posture like animals right in front of you.

Thankfully, they manage to restrain themselves and Max leaves without another word; you release the breath you realize you’ve been holding in all this time.

Dave’s face softens as he steps towards you, raising his hand to brush against your upper arm in consolation. He thinks nothing of it—an instinct from having maintained a protective role for so long—but the small touch causes you to flinch away.

“Sorry,” he says softly. He wishes he could touch you more; pull you into his arms. “I just— Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you answer. Physically, you’re okay. Mentally, however, you still want to murder someone.

You look over your shoulder in time to see Audrey—your new hire, and the reason you forbade Max from ever returning—push open the door to the back room, wiping her face as she does so.

Max had made her cry, and you couldn’t afford to lose another barista.

“I’m sorry, I need to handle this,” you tell Dave. You look to Vincent, who’d watched the whole thing unfold from behind the counter without so much as an offer to help, but you suppose he isn’t paid enough to care. Hell, you barely are.

“Let, um…” you look at Dave, gesturing at him with a flat, open palm, and you hope he understands what you’re insinuating.

“Dave,” he replies.

“Let Dave here order whatever he wants. On the house,” you tell Vincent, who nods.

“I’m sorry again, but it was nice to meet you, Dave,” you say, introducing yourself, as if he can’t read your name tag. “Thank you so much…for helping.”

You smile meekly and wave goodbye to Dave as you head to the back to hopefully calm Audrey down before she quits.

Your back is turned by the time Dave proffers his own weak smile and wave. He watches you go, mapping every delicate curve of your backside with his eyes.

He doesn’t take you up on your offer of a free item.

He has a man to track down.

——

You find Audrey in the back room, hunched forward on the edge of a metal folding chair, palms pushed into her eyes.

You really can’t lose another barista. You’re overworked as it is and Maurizio cut everyone’s hours a couple of months ago, causing several of your best workers to quit, bringing you back around to square one. If she goes, you’ll have to work doubles for the unforeseeable future and, well, that wasn’t exactly ideal, considering Maurizio was constantly bitching at you about overtime…as if you could even help it.

You’d quit yourself if that was in the cards right now.

“Hey…” you offer, softly. “You okay?”

Audrey has only been working for you for three days; Maurizio hired her. She wouldn’t have been your first choice, since she was a little slow to pick things up, the job itself seeming to overburden her—but you couldn’t afford not to give her a chance. You need to tread lightly to keep her from bolting.

“Hey,” she replies back. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to lose it like that. It’s just—well, I’m going through a bad break up right now…” she admits, raking thin fingers through bright pink hair. “And him yelling at me about his drink being wrong was just…y’know. Last straw,” she laughs nervously.

You nod, feeling a little bad about passing judgment so quickly, knowing you know exactly how she’s feeling, since that was you only a few months ago. Still is, probably.

“I understand completely. I just got over one of those myself,” you confess, crossing your arms. “It’s fine if you need a minute. Vincent and I got the front,” you say, trying to articulate things in a way that will make it less likely she’ll walk—at least, that’s the hope.

You had been here since 4AM and your head was steadily pounding. You hadn’t had a cigarette in hours. And then Audrey had gotten the drinks mixed up—it happens—causing Max to lose his temper and call her a string of things you didn’t want to repeat, even in your mind.

Max had been a regular as long as you’d been employed, but he was also an asshole. A regular asshole. You wouldn’t miss him, his tacky suits, or his penchant for cutting in line anytime soon.

You had to admit it gave you a little thrill to finally stand up to him, the pull you felt between your legs an undeniable tell. You think he felt it, too. Not that it matters.

Audrey nods, rubbing at her eyes again. “Yeah. I’ll be up in a bit,” she says, and you try to hide your sigh of relief. “It’s just—is it okay if I um—take half an edible? To take the edge off?” she asks.

You could give two shits what people do in their free time, but at work? You almost say no—almost—but change your mind quickly when you see the grief still playing on her features.

Truth be told, that sounds nice right about now.

“Sure,” you tell her. “But only if you give me the other half.”

——

Blessedly, Audrey doesn’t quit. The edible elevates her mood—like, a lot—and yours, as well. You feel great the rest of your shift, finally getting off work at two, when Sarah relieves you of your managerial duties for the day.

She notes your change in attitude, which you have to admit has been pretty dour these past few weeks. You lie and tell her it had been an easy going day, purposely neglecting to mention Max. No need to bring your elation back down.

You gather your things to leave, exhaling a long, exasperated sigh as you go. You’re going to enjoy the fuck out of this.

As an added bonus, you have tomorrow off, which you’ll undoubtedly spend sleeping in. And tonight—drinking your weight in alcohol, most likely.

Whatever passes the time.

You’re almost all the way to your apartment, puffing on the cigarette perched between your lips, slipping into the breezeway that shoulders your building, when you hear a voice from behind you that you could discern out of a line up.

Dark, crooning, dripping with condescension.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

It’s Max.

You almost think you heard wrong, your mind still hazy from the cannabis in your system. Surely it isn’t him—that would mean he followed you here, which is just goddamn creepy.

Yet you’re not at all surprised when you turn and see him standing there with his hands in his pockets. He’s shed his jacket since you last saw him, now clad only in a crisp white dress shirt, gray slacks and yellow tie, the look finished off with some plain brown dress shoes.

You aren’t sure what Max does for a living and you’ve never cared enough to find out, but he has all the characteristics of a corporate vampire: nice pressed suits, pristine grooming, preternatural cunning and arrogance out the ass.

You find yourself palming the pepper spray you keep in your purse. You’d bought it after Jonathan had left. You had yet to use it, but today might be the day.

“Max, I’m sorry, my decision is final—“ you start to say.

“Is it?” Max asks you, cutting you off. “Because last I checked, the shop belongs to Maurizio, not you, darling,” he says, sauntering steadily closer.

“And I don’t care. I’m the manager, I have the right to ban you,” you respond, trying your damndest to cling to your convictions.

“Uh huh. We’ll see what Maurizio has to say about that,” he replies, grinning crookedly as he stares down at you with shimmering dark brown eyes. You aren’t sure when it happened, but somehow Max has gotten a lot closer, the wall of the building almost at your back.

He holds up his cell phone so you can see the screen: Maurizio Bernardi, saved as a contact, plain as day. You feel your face go slack with realization.

“You… how do you know Maury?” you ask, flabbergasted. Your head swims, and everything suddenly feels bright and fuzzy at the periphery of your mind; you must be coming down from the THC.

“We went to school together! Isn’t that wild?” Max responds with a snorting laugh, slipping his phone back into his pocket. You’re fully pinned against the wall now by his breadth alone, and he hasn’t even touched you.

You could end this easily in two seconds flat with a blast of pepper spray straight to his face. There might be some blowback with the light breeze whipping through, and you’d most definitely lose your job since he’s friends with Maury, but it would be worth it knowing you put Max in his place once and for all.

Right?

He’s so close that you smell the faint scent of cologne mingled with the underlying odor of sweat. You feel your heart beating at your temples. You hadn’t been with anyone since Jonathan left, and you couldn’t deny you were touch starved. You swallow and stare back, your eyes searing into him.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he says, softly gripping your arm to remove your hand from your purse, as if he’s reading your mind. Your fingers go slack around the can of pepper spray.

“Wasn’t gonna do anything,” you snip, yanking your arm out of his grasp. “Can I go home now?”

Max crowds into your space, pushing you into the wall, gentle enough not to hurt but forceful enough to press your back to the rough of the brick. He plucks the now neglected cigarette from your other hand, which is burnt nearly to the filter.

“Filthy fucking habit,” he chides, placing it to his lips and taking a drag before discarding it between the two of you, where he snuffs it out with the sole of his shoe. “Didn’t figure you for the type.”

“You know nothing about me,” you retort.

“I know you tried to humiliate me today,” he says quietly. “I don’t appreciate being humiliated.”

“I don’t appreciate you yelling at my workers,” you bite back. You aren’t going to give him the satisfaction of intimidating you. “Do you know how understaffed we are right now as it is? I’m exhausted!” You attempt to duck under an arm; he blocks you.

“You manage—what? Six, seven people?” Max asks.

“Four,” you correct. “Because we’re grossly understaffed.”

He smirks. “That’s cute. Try three hundred. Then we’ll talk.”

“Okay, I get it. Point made. Can I go?” you ask, attempting to duck him again. He grabs your wrist this time.

“Not until I humiliate you like you humiliated me,” he threatens, locking eyes with you. His other hand drifts to the curve of your waist, almost swallowing you with the size of it. Your breath catches. He takes that as invitation.

“And just how do you plan on doing th—“

Your words dissipate mid sentence when aforementioned hand untucks your shirt from your pants, creating just enough of a pocket for it to slide in between.

You take in a deep breath as his fingers slowly glide up the plane of your stomach and rib cage; he reaches the swell of your breast, not hesitating at all to grab you there, reveling at the soft depth of it against his wide palm.

It’s fucked. Utterly fucked. A small part of you wants to kick him in the balls and run, but you can’t help but go boneless and pliant like fresh clay under his touch.

If you’re being honest with yourself, as much as you loathe him, it isn’t like you hadn’t thought about Max before today. He always looks so nice and sharp in his business suits; not to mention it’s been so long since anyone has put their hands on you. Your toys just aren’t doing the trick anymore.

You whimper and arch involuntarily into him. Judging by the flash of triumph in his eyes, he liked that.

“By making you scream my name so loud right here in the street, the entire state will know who I am by the time I’m done with you,” he taunts, accentuating his point with a tug of your nipple through the fabric of your bra.

“M-Max, I…” you half protest, half moan.

You what? You can’t? You don’t want to? You can hardly remember to breathe at this point.

“Yeah. Just like that,” he laughs softly. “You’ll be reduced to a quivering puddle by the time I’m through.” His other hand toys dangerously close to the waistband of your pants.

Your eyes flit to the street, which isn’t even twenty paces from where you’re wedged between him and the wall. No one is currently paying either of you any mind, but you have no doubt that would change if what he’s saying is true. You have zero reason not to believe him.

“Max, we can’t do this,” you say, finally able to find your voice. “Not here,” you add, so that he understands that you do want it, regardless of how fucked it may be.

He pops the top button of your pants. You do nothing to stop him.

“Then say the word, sweetheart. Tell me I’m not banned,” he whispers into your ear. “You’ll do that for me, right?” His hand skims lower, undoing a second button.

“You s-said… Maury…”

“I need to hear you say it,” he responds pointedly, grinding his pelvis into yours; the firm press of his cock dividing you at your center, pushing against your clit.

“Jesus… fuck…” you babble, your head falling against the wall with a painful thud.

You don’t need Audrey, right? Or time off, like…ever? The extra pay from overtime is nice…and Maury can bitch about it all he wants, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s his fault, anyway. Not yours.

Nothing matters right now aside from the man rutting deliciously into your lap.

You aren’t sure what’s come over you. It could be the THC still firmly rooted in your brain, or the stress of the job getting to you, or both. Whatever the reason, you’re impervious to resist him and his off kilter, douchey kind of appeal.

“Say it,” he whispers, tongue flicking out to taste the salt of your flesh.

“My apartment is up-s-stairs,” you reply. He snaps his hips aggressively into you in retaliation, and you squeak.

“Say it,” he growls.

“Shit, Max! Fine! You win, you— You aren’t banned.”

“Good,” he responds with a wry smirk, dark eyes sparkling with gratification. You only just realize that your hand is twisted up in his tie, and his gaze follows your grip, fingers brushing along the inner line of your wrist. You shiver.

“Take me to your apartment,” he says. You let the words hang in the air between the two of you, eyeing each other; silently scrutinizing which one will break first.

Of course it’s you.

You don’t worry about fixing your clothes as you make a beeline for the side door of the building, Max trailing closely behind. They won’t be a problem in just a few minutes, anyway; hopefully you won’t run into anyone in the hall on the way up.

His hands are on you again by the time you reach the elevator, pushing under your shirt, pants riding down your hips when they have nothing to cling to. He presses you against the far wall of the elevator, teeth raking over your pulse point and bearing down. You moan.

“Knew you were a dirty fucking girl,” he groans into the curve of your neck.

You reach for his tie again, the other hand absently dragging his thigh for purchase. His hands squeeze your breasts, rolling them under the flat of his palm. You can barely breathe, let alone speak; you’ve never let someone manhandle you so brazenly before. And you kind of like it.

Finally, the elevator dings for your floor; Max pulls his hands free of your shirt and grabs you by the wrists, yanking you into the short and narrow hallway. You fall into his chest and he steadies you, hands bracketing around your hips.

“This one is mine,” you say, pointing to the faded green door over his left shoulder. For a moment, he steps back, allotting you the space needed to access your apartment.

You can barely get the key to slide into the lock you’re shaking so fucking bad, but you eventually get it to work.

Your apartment isn’t exactly tidy. You’ve never had company over before in all the time you’ve lived here, much less unexpected—you suppose it doesn’t matter, as he probably won’t even notice, or care.

You flick on the light and the small space is illuminated in dull fluorescence, revealing the whole 322 square feet of it, save for the bathroom. You toss your purse onto the couch, turning to face Max.

You start to open your mouth to offer him a drink—an engrained habit leftover from your upbringing—but he stifles the words before they can even be borne on your lips, a hand coming up to loosely circle your throat as he walks you backwards to the bed, his eyes hued inky black with lust.

It’s not at all surprising that he isn’t a man of formalities if his presence at the coffee shop is anything to go by. You would wonder if he’s this ruthless at his job if you didn’t already have a good inkling about that.

You jolt when your legs make contact with the mattress. He doesn’t waste time in removing your clothes once he has you there, beginning with your shirt, relieving you of the burden. Your bra is next, and as his eyes hone in on the hardened peaks of your nipples, you think to yourself you’ve never seen him look this pensive before.

“Fucking — perfect,” he whispers, rolling his thumbs over the stiff buds, eliciting a moan from somewhere deep in your chest.

The rest is a blur up until the moment he’s almost pushing inside of you, so desperate in his need to remove any offending article of clothing he somehow manages to do so in the space of a few seconds, your mingled clothes a discarded pile of rubbish on the floor next to the bed.

He’s more fit than you expect, the bulbous cut of his arms leading into sharp lines of pectoral muscles. His stomach is defined enough, in your opinion—a man doesn’t need rock hard abs to get you off, after all—the lower half of his torso curtained in a swathe of dark pubic hair.

His cock hangs low amid his thighs, already fully engorged, the head an angry shade of pink and weeping for you. You try to tear your gaze away as you take in the sight of him, and are only vaguely aware that he’s asking you something.

“—I said, do you have any condoms?” you realize.

Odd time to worry about condoms, when he had plenty of time to stop at the store on the way to you. It’s fine, though — you have some left over from Jonathan.

“In the drawer behind you,” you tell Max. He reaches around behind him, pulling one out a moment later, breaking the wrapper open with his teeth and rolling it over himself with expert finesse.

You scoot back on the bed, every nerve ending in your body on fire, your head falling back into one of your pillows as Max mounts and straddles you, caging you in with his long limbs.

He peers down at you, eyes shining dark with desire, his mouth so close to yours you can inhale his breath if you were so inclined; you want him to kiss you, to bite your tongue and lips with those perfect white teeth, but he seems to be intentionally avoiding doing so.

Keep it business. Keep it casual.

“Roll over,” he says softly, moving off of you, and for a fleeting moment, you’re nonplussed. You note a faint flash of yellow at your peripheral, and it takes you a moment to register what’s happening; you crane your neck over your shoulder to confirm your notion, spying the pale yellow shine of his tie unraveling between both fists.

“Cross your wrists at your back,” he quietly commands, his voice low and even, leaving no room for debate. A man skilled in so few words in the art of persuasion—of seduction.

You’ve never been tied up or restrained before—much less by a man you have absolutely no sexual experience with, one you probably shouldn’t put any faith of your safety in at all—but you obediently lattice your wrists at the bend of your spine, taking in a prolonged breath as your core thrums in anticipation between your legs.

Although you can’t see him, you can practically feel Max grinning at your back. You hear the smooth slide of silk between his fingers. A moment later, he’s slipping the tie under your linked arms, spiraling it deftly around your wrists until you’re completely bound together and the grip holds true.

You flex your hands against the makeshift cuffs, testing them. You’re surprised at how comfortable it is and how you can still rotate your wrists; only your arms are immobile—which is exactly what he wanted.

“On your side now,” he commands coolly. You don’t dare dawdle, scooting to one side as best you can, albeit with some added effort without the aid of your hands to push you over.

He slides into the bed next to you, pushing himself as flush as he can against your back since your arms are now in the way, pulling your leg up and over his hip, butterflying you open.

He reaches around to cup your sex, middle finger riding your seam until he reaches your expectant opening, pushing himself in to the first knuckle. He slides in easily and you can’t hide the fact that you’re already soaked.

“Fuck,” he whispers raggedly, his voice thick against your ear. “Somebody wants this.”

His erection drags over the hill of your ass. You’re breathing hard and your heart is racing a million miles an hour. You feel as though you could combust at any moment.

His finger slips further into your depths, languidly pumping until your arousal coats all the way to the final knuckle. He adds a second finger then, breathing heavily into the shell of your ear.

“You ready to take me, sweetheart? Fair warning—I don’t do soft.”

As if you had any other expectations after he just finished binding you with his fucking necktie.

“Y-yes,” you whisper, hoarse and oh so needy. His hand snaps against your exposed ass, your body recoiling at the sudden lance of pain.

“Beg me for it.”

“Please, Max, I need it,” you plead, your voice feeling small in your throat. You writhe against him to accentuate your point, your wrists flexing against the binds.

“Good,” he says softly, spitting into his palm and coating himself with it, sliding the head along your folds and notching himself at your entrance.

Your breath stalls when you feel him. He isn’t even in and it already seems like too much.

“Breathe,” he tells you, giving you a moment to pull fresh oxygen into your lungs. When your response is sufficient enough for him, he’s suddenly pushing into you, cleaving you in two; there’s a dull sting from how much he stretches you apart, and you’ve already lost your ability to think, to power your lungs.

“Breathe,” he says again, a venomous edge to his tone. “Don’t need you passing out on me.”

Cue your surprise when unresponsive isn’t really his thing. You’d always figured him as a much bigger creep than this, despite the fact that he literally has you pinned like prey.

You suck in more air as Max buries himself all the way to the hilt, softly spurring his pelvis deep, deep into yours from behind. “So fucking tight,” he rumbles against the rim of your ear, teeth scraping along the ridge of your jaw.

And then the onslaught begins. He’s right—he doesn’t do soft.

The first few gyrations, he’s pulling almost all the way out, only to crack his hips back into you as hard as he can, the head of his cock bumping the sensitive flesh of your back wall with each ministration. The sound that resonates is louder than expected and more than a little obscene, strangled whimpers escaping with each snap of his pelvis, skin slapping skin.

Each time the room goes silent in those void spaces between utterances, you almost think you hear something—or someone—in the hall just beyond the thin barrier of your door. Your neighbor, Mrs. Tobin? Hopefully she hasn’t heard anything. She’s already reported you in the past for watching your movies too loud—

But just as swiftly as the thought occurs to you, it’s just as easily dissipated, Max’s fingers digging into your hip to hold you in place as he begins to rail you as hard and fast as any man reasonably can, his breath hot and wet against the nape of your neck, every rough smack of his hips into yours a thinly veiled threat to unravel every last fiber of your being.

The sounds that you make in return are not human.

His other hand comes up to cradle your chin, bowing your neck to a barrage of pearly whites, bearing down on the delicate crossroads of your neck and shoulder. The sting of incisors making purchase with your flesh causes you to yelp, your head misty from the feeling, toeing a line between pain and pleasure.

“Good girl, sweetheart. Taking me like a champ,” he growls breathlessly.

The hand riding your hip slithers around to where he’s currently splitting you open, gathering your natural lubrication on the pads of his fingers as he begins to slowly admonish attention to your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Oh fuck!” you yelp, bucking involuntarily as you chase the feeling. That solicits a laugh from Max, who seems quite pleased with himself.

“You like that?” he asks you, all the while still pumping into you from behind with everything he can muster; you have to admit his stamina is admirable.

You make some kind of inhuman mewl in reverence. His touch stokes fire deep within you, your pleasure mounting to dizzying heights, and you can’t remember the last time a man made you feel so coveted.

You can’t believe you could have been doing this all these long and lonely months. You should bar him from your shop more often.

“Kiss me, please,” you whine, folding your head behind you to lounge against his shoulder. The grip on your chin tightens, fingertips digging in, almost painfully so; there might be bruises there later.

“You take what I give you,” he tuts, gnashing his incisors along the soft of your throat.

If it’s possible, his grueling, punishing speed increases to near paralyzing, and you’re close to seeing stars. His fingers swirl lazily around your clit by comparison.

And then, without preamble or warning, he stops, pulling himself free from you. You chirp in protest at the loss, your walls clenching around nothing.

“What? Max…”

“Face down,” he instructs. “Quickly, now.”

You shoulder the mattress for stability as you roll yourself over without use of your arms, hands straining against the necktie still spooled around your wrists.

He enters you from behind the moment you assume the position, pumping into you at a far more leisurely pace than only seconds ago.

The wide breadth of his palms splay across your ass cheeks, spreading you apart as he watches you swallow him from behind. He’s much deeper at this angle, the head of his cock kissing your g-spot with every slow thrust.

You flinch when you feel his thumb graze against the muscular ring of flesh between your cheeks. He chuckles darkly.

“Bet you’d let me fuck your tight little asshole, wouldn’t you? Such a supplicant little cock sleeve for me.” You moan at the derision. “Yeah, you are. Glad we agree.”

His hands bracket your hips with stupefying strength, which will most assuredly brand you with the lines of his fingers, but you’re sure that’s what he wants. He pulls you back into him, spearing you onto his length. The new angle makes you scream.

“That’s it. Take it all,” he rumbles, resuming the previous breakneck speed, railing you with such ferocity there’s no way in hell half the city isn’t aware of Max’s presence in your pussy right now.

“F-fuck, Max—“ you bite, the mention of his name only furthering him along.

He rewards you by moving his hand back to your swollen clit, fingers flicking over the sensitive nub until you’re gasping for air, a string of curses and otherwordly noises escaping your lips. You’re staggeringly close.

“That’s it. You gonna come for me? Come on me, sweetheart. I need to feel you.”

He impales you with uninhibited exuberance from behind, your bed shuddering from each impact, and you know you’ll be feeling him between your legs for a week.

A few more hard, rough administrations and the tether abruptly snaps, your orgasm washing over you, ripping through your entire being with a scream-strangled-moan that your neighbors will definitely hear if they happen to be home.

It doesn’t take Max much longer than you to come apart in your wake, his breath stuttering in his chest and a loud, guttural snarl bursting forth, and for several prolonged seconds as he milks the remaining traces of himself into the condom, you can hear just how easily he fell apart inside of you.

You press your face into the cool of the sheets beneath the pillow, breathing hard, waiting for Max to untie you as he pulls himself out of you with a grunt.

You think you hear a faint noise in the corridor again; it almost sounds like the squeak of sneakers on linoleum. And then it’s gone.

You really, really hope it wasn’t your neighbor.

——

Dave doesn’t have to track Max down; the contemptuous man practically delivers himself to your front stoop.

How convenient.

He first hears you in the small slice of courtyard that divides your buildings, his window always propped open at this time of day so he can watch for when you inevitably return home from work.

The sight of him instantly makes Dave bristle; moreso when Max crowds into your space, and it takes everything in him not to rush to your aid again, saving you from Max for the second time in the span of a day.

But it’s your receptiveness to Max’s attention that gives him pause before he has a chance to act brash. You were ready to string Max’s entrails from the streetlights this morning—and now here you were, moaning and arching into his touch. What changed?

Dave feels a lance of jealousy and in spite of the sweet sounds you’re making, his trigger finger twitches more than a few times.

He keeps his eyes trained on your face as he watches you, studying you from afar; the way your eyelids flutter shut, the small bite of your own lip. The image forever burned into his brain, going straight to Dave’s cock.

He should be the one making you feel good, making you make those pretty sounds; not some guy poorly portraying the role of a cheap car salesman.

He pulls his cock free from his pants while he keeps his eyes locked on you, stroking himself in semi-circular motions as you are subjected to being handled by another man, glimpsing a small flash of skin as Max lifts your shirt to fondle your breast.

Again, it should be him. Dave would treat you right. He would make you come so many times you would forget your own name by the time he was through.

And then you’re disappearing into the confines of your building with Max in tow before he can blink.

——

It isn’t difficult to get into the building. It’s actually alarming how simple it was for Dave to decipher, simultaneously compressing the pound and asterisks keys on the keypad next to the door until the light flashes green and he hears the click of a lock disengaging.

Too easy.

He finds your apartment just as readily, having memorized its location from watching you as frequently as he does. He takes the stairs rather than the elevator so that the sounds of the rickety old bucket don’t alert you to his presence, pausing at the top stoop of the stairs which just so happens to face your door.

Number 8. Your apartment is number 8.

He listens for any sign that he’s given his location away. When he’s convinced he’s safe from being discovered, he creeps closer to your apartment.

It isn’t what it seems like, he tells himself. He just wants to make sure you’re safe. That this guy doesn’t hurt you.

He wants to be there to protect you. At least, that’s what Dave tells himself.

He sits on the dirty linoleum floor next to your door, his back facing the wall. For the first several minutes, he’s able to contain himself, listening for any signs of distress.

That is, until he hears your sweet moans and whimpers, the sounds of rough sex drifting with very little left to the imagination into the corridor. Dave’s jaw clenches and he breaks into a sweat just from listening to your high, keening revelations of sex.

It should be him. It should be him.

He understands how wrong, how perverse and reductive it is, to be listening to you like this. To impede on your privacy for his own personal gratification. To be so fucking turned on by it. He knows this.

And yet he doesn’t give it a second thought when he slips his hand into his pants to fist himself, pressed up against your door, fucking into his clenched palm like a teenager with their first porno mag, at the lascivious sounds of you being fucked by another man—a man that should be him.

He has enough sense to check for cameras, at least. Doubtful they would even review the footage without cause, but a cursory sweep of the area doesn’t hurt.

There are none. Now it’s just a matter of not getting caught by one of the other residents.

Dave thinks of you. He pictures the face you were making in the courtyard, imagining himself in Max’s stead. He’s getting off to your beautiful noises, and god, are you good at making them. He wonders how high your whimpers could get if he were the one fucking you. How you would look sheathing his cock.

If you were his, there wouldn’t be a single day you didn’t know his touch.

It’s all too much. His head swims, his vision goes white. You make a particularly raucous moan and that’s all it takes, a sound escaping his lips before he realizes he’s making it, thick ropes of spend spurting onto his stomach beneath his shirt. Thankfully, you don’t seem to hear him, his own utterance of ecstasy drowned out by the cacophony of your own and Max’s as you each come mere seconds after Dave does.

He doesn’t have any way of cleaning himself up like this, and a heavy blanket of shame settles over him within moments of coming down from the high of his climax. He does what he can, rubbing the thick globs of semen into his skin until it disperses.

He registers a sound then—someone getting off the bed, he surmises—and quickly climbs to his feet, the sole of his sneaker betraying him in a rush of movement. Shit.

He makes a beeline for the stairs, hoping you didn’t hear. When no one says anything, he supposes you didn’t.

——

Dave finds you on the street later that night.

He can tell by looking at you that you’re freshly showered, your hair shimmering in the faint glow of the setting sun. You’re dressed comfortably in a plain black tank top that swoops down to reveal the barest hint of cleavage—lest you decide to lean over, that is—and bike shorts that are meant to replicate leopard spots, only in purple.

You have one of your reusable grocery bags slung over your shoulder, the large one with all the pictures of fresh produce printed on it, and Dave can tell by the heft of it that you’ve just come from the grocery store a few blocks down.

He can’t ignore you anymore. Not after rushing to your defense this morning, and especially not after hearing you getting fucked on the other side of the door while he came hard for you. He has to talk to you. He needs to talk to you.

He steps into your line of sight a moment later, apprehensively lifting his hand in a wave. You spot him right away.

“Oh. Hey,” you say. “Dave, right?”

“Yeah,” he says, quietly. His eyes rake over you. You swallow.

“I just wanted to check on you. You know, since this morning,” he continues. “I know we see each other around a lot.”

You nod and take him in; he’s massive this close, with broad, muscular shoulders. He’s wearing a Boston Celtics shirt and loose Nike shorts. Judging by the semicircle of perspiration flowering out from the V of his armpits, you deduce that he’s been jogging again. He does that a lot, you think.

And you would be right. His climax earlier wasn’t enough to quell his desire for you, to hamper the gnawing restlessness he constantly feels. He needed to expend his anxious energy somehow.

Jogging wasn’t working either.

And now that he’s this close, he wishes he could touch you. Pull you into his arms and kiss you—since Max hadn’t.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you for asking…and again for this morning,” you say.

He places his hands on his hips, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. “Yeah, of course. It isn’t—it’s not a problem,” he says. I always want to protect you, he wants to add.

An uncomfortable silence settles in the space between both of you. You think you should probably leave.

“Would you like to get dinner somewhere?” Dave suddenly blurts out, a desperate tinniness to his voice. He looks at the sad boxes of mac and cheese in your grocery bag—not even name brand, since you’re doing all you can to save money.

You almost say no. Truthfully, it weirds you out that you had sex with another man not even hours ago, and now your neighbor is asking you out to dinner when he’d barely spoken to you before today.

It’s not like the sex meant anything. Max had made that abundantly clear and besides, you still hated his guts. But two men in one day, while still struggling with a messy breakup? You aren’t sure if you can handle that.

You almost say no. Almost.

Dave offers to carry your groceries for you.

You let him.

Part Two

[freezing-kaiju]

THE BIG POLL, ROUND ZERO, REPLACE BLADE BRAVE!!!!!

Beautiful show it is, Kamen Rider Blade must come to an end soon. I will cry. But the world must move on.

And I decided to make this one an anime poll, since some of the legacy options from the very first poll ended up being much longer than the rest. SO! This is all shows between 20-50 episodes, around the same length as a Rider show!

You must choose at least one; if u want more, leave it in the comments or tags or replies pls and i'll count your additional votes at the end!

Agatha Christie’s Great Detectives Poirot and Marple - A young detective related to famous detective Miss Marple joins other famous detective Hercule Poirot as his assistant and learns from these two legendry mentors to solve murders. I love detective shows but I'm not too familiar with Poirot and Miss Marple so maybe the show could serve as an introduction to them. It seems cozy but compelling! The lead writer worked on a bunch of the big popular serieses (Pokemon Sun & Moon, Fairy Tail, Death Note, and Anpanman). This one's a legacy inclusion!

Blue Gender - A man from the modern day with a strange illness goes into cryosleep and wakes up in a destroed earth where mechs and aliens fight and there is a cool tall woman who has a mech. It has gore, mechs which I do need to see more of, but it's a military series. Space's also listed in the genre stuff which...is that a spoiler, do they go to space? 26 episodes, so it's on the longer side, less diligence may apply. This one's a legacy inclusion!

Dirty Pair - 80s anime, two Hotted Boobhaving space agents fight and bicker their way through the galaxy in a distinctly 'two bi women constantly getting divorced' vibe. I don't remember if this one is a legacy inclusion, but it's a famous show!

Scrapped Princess - Fantasy setting, A local white girl doomed to destroy the world and her adoptive siblings travel the world to avoid her devastating fate. also... There's mechs?? Wikipedia tells me it’s a lighthearted but mournful show that uses Clarke’s third law to bridge the gap between scifi and high fantasy. This one was handpicked by a dear friend!

Texhnolyze - by the creators of Serial Experiments Lain, it’s a show that seems similarly angsty and cerebral but much grimier. A boxer gets dismembered, cyborgized, and possibly radicalized deep in the bowels of a city that never sees the sun. ALSO GACKT IS THERE?

R.O.D. READ OR DIE -THE TV- - a potentially jojoish, gay little show about a novelist with a heady mix of hubris and self-loathing and three bibliophile sisters with Paper Abilities fighting various goons and also Britain. It seems like a romp!

Captain Earth - In the vein of Super Sentai (sadly without the precious masks), a color coded group of teens that seems to include a Yaoibait Kaworu fight aliens on behalf of NASA, with a robot that has a REALLY big hat. Supposedly it’s got a lot of intellectual depth!

RahXephon - the second name on everyone’s lips when someone says Evangelion Rip-off, after Darling in the Franxx. Mechs that are blatantly angels, a JSDF, and blue-blooded men in black. I tried a bit, and it’s got a great capture of humanity in times of crisis and such a beautifully 2000s aesthetic.

Devilman Lady - what if you were Devilman and a Lady??? What if there was a blond woman and you were a beast and there was all this blood and violence. Psychological, grungy, and gorgeously 90s. And it's a yuri!!!

Chrno Crusade - Cisgender Bridget and a devilboy (no relation to devilman or devilmanlady) do exorcisms for an order of nuns in 1929 New Yawk Citay. It's a het romance, full of bumbling and comedy and period era ghostbustiness. Also for some reason in a lot of the art (like this one) Chrno is whitewashed?

ITS NOT LETTING ME PUT AN ELEVENTH VIDEO TAKE THIS AND SOME POSTERS

A Precure - I've seen Kamen Riders, Super Sentais, an Ultraman, but I've not seen the sister show to them all; Pretty Cure! SO clearly I need to, and if this one doesn't win it'll flood the poll to replace Ryuki. These options are suggestions; might be others.

[original image sources: agatha's is from the op but can be found screencapped here, gender, dirty, scrapped, texhnolyze, die, earth, rahxephon, lady, crusade (official magazine art findable here), pre tty cure (official posters findable in those places). i replaced them with trailers tho lol. but check the ones that are oroginal anime wallpapers out theyre very nice]