#Braces Knoxville

[shiftythrifting]

Found this in Knoxville TN. I call it “Back Brace Ringo”

Also found a Saddam Hussein rookie card!

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

Hiii! I was wondering if you could write a angst/fluff fic on Bam, where the reader is a female dirt bike rider, and they absolutely hate each other but they have to work together bc they're both in Jackass, and the reader ends up getting severely hurt doing a stunt on the dirt bike? maybe this is based in 2002ish. I luvv ur work btw <333

Crash and Burn

Bam write Y/N off immediately, and her teasing doesn’t help her case, especially after she gets a leg up on him, but Ryan makes a bet that helps him see things in another light.

Bam Margera X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader

(Fluff, angst)

3k Words

Warnings: Highly suggestive content, Madonna-Whore complex, misogyny, injury, blood, hospitals, broken bones, alcohol, flirting, enemies to lovers

An: Thank you so much for the request! Yet again, me returning to the whole Madonna-Whore complex thing XD I love writing for bolder Y/Ns, and this lady definitely fits the bill! I got to doma lot of research on motocross for this fic, and I always enjoy the more research intensive focus, so no matter how niche, please feel free to send any requests my way!

After Bam got word they would be flying out this female motocross rider alongside Tony Hawk and Matt Hoffman to film the loop, he kind of wrote you off without a second thought. Just went back to helping the guys set up. So when you pulled up on set that morning and took off your helmet, he was a little confused at how…normal you looked. In fact, you were pretty damn hot. Holding his hand up to shield his eyes from the sun, Bam peered around a ramp to squint at you watching like some weirdo as you, Matt, and Tony chatted it up with Knoxville by the lake you were set to jump into. “The hell’s she doin’ here?”

Ryan, who was helping carry a large piece of plywood from the bed of Chris’ truck, leaned the board against a half built structure before glancing over towards you, “You mean Y/N?” Blinking in disbelief at that, Bam’s jaw practically hit the ground, “Wait, that’s Y/N?” He had this idea of you before you even stepped foot on set. You know the type: the tattoos, a couple holes in your face, or some kind of edgy hair color- in his eyes, as masculine as a girl could get without growing a beard. I mean, there were attractive women in the skateboarding world, but Bam wouldn’t look at them the same way he looked at hot chicks at the bar or something. Whatever. Who did you think you were anyways, walking around like you were hot shit? Probably only there because MTV was desperate for them to get more sex appeal on the show. It’s not like you would be doing anything crazy.

How wrong Bam was. Your stunt was first, and after they got you suited up in all the compulsory safety garb as dictated by standards and practices, you actually landed the thing in two tries- two fucking tries! After that first attempt, Bam didn’t think you were even getting up after he saw that spill you took off your bike, the way you hit the ground like a ragdoll. The air swam with that silent worry while everyone was kind of scared to say anything, (and you know it’s bad when that group of guys shut up) but before Jeff could punch in that last digit of 9-1-1 into his phone, there you went, stumbling up with a smile to excitedly shout over to Rick, “Can we try that one again?”

After you trugged out of the lake to much applause after your second and last attempt, Tony and Matt went off to film their segments, and while you always like watching the big air that bikes can get, you had something else on your mind. You walked over to where Bam was sitting off to the side and strapping on a pair of wrist braces. Glancing down at where he sat on the grass, you toweled off your hair. “What’re you gonna do?” Your shadow blocked out the sun as you looked over Bam, who shot a scowl up at you, “Huh?” A fat drop of water dripped off of your clothes and hit him right between the eyes, making him flinch. You didn’t seem to care, “BMX, dirt bikes- what’s your deal?” Bam stood up to meet your gaze, which he literally could, given the fact you were pretty similar in height, “I skate.”

You already knew who he was and what he was gonna do- I mean, in 2002, who didn’t know who Bam Margera was? And that’s exactly why you wanted to fuck with him. “Wait- seriously?” There was this glimmer of disbelief in your eyes at his simple answer before your knees buckled a little. “Holy shit!” And you started laughing. “That is just…god, that’s adorable…” It's not like you could help yourself- he sounded so proud of himself and that little boy sport of his. If Bam didn’t hate you before, he certainly did now. And while he could bring up the fact that you seemed totally cool with the fact that Tony skateboarded to try and call you out on your bullshit, he had a better idea.

He couldn’t do it. Five attempts, and Bam still couldn’t make it all the way around the loop. Maybe it was something wrong with his stance or the way he held his legs- he would’ve tried it until the sun went down if it meant he could spite you, but Jeff cut him off after that last try where he missed the pad completely and fell about ten feet to the patchy grass to land directly on his head- something about liabilities and the blood that was now dripping from his forehead. And guess who was the first person he saw when he groggily blinked his eyes open to someone knocking on that dumbass helmet they forced him to wear. “How’d that go for you?” See, he wanted to sound all confident and badass telling you off, but it came out a lot more pathetic than he intended as he mumbled out, “Fuck off…”

“Aww, don’t be mean…this is one hell of a first impression from you. Keep this up and the only thing you’ll be sleepin’ with tonight’s that dinky little board’s yours.” Yeah, you think you’re soooo fucking funny, huh? He got plenty of ass, thank you very much- enough to not feel the need to suck up to you just because you were a chick. “Listen, Y/N- whatever the hell your name is,” Bam tried to gather his bearings as he staggered to his feet, “I couldn't give a fuck if you were Ricky Carmichael’s secret love child-“ He got all up in your face as he continued like some kid getting into a fight on the playground while also trying to sound totally nonchalant, “I don’t need some amature dirt bike chick like you gettin’ all on my ass about my shit! Just- leave me the fuck alone.” The crew gathered around to get a front row seat to the action, but nobody was backing Bam up. Not even Ryan, who always had his ass even when he was blatantly wrong. In fact, when he looked back at him for some sort of escape here, he could’ve sworn his best bro was making cartoon heart eyes at you behind those sunglasses. Holy shit. How could this get any fucking worse?

Well, there’s something in seeing a very angry, fully grown man in protective gear that doesn’t quite fit him right that you found hilarious. There was this holding back a laugh sparkle in your eye that told Bam exactly how seriously you took his anger, “Alright, tough guy. Don’t get your knee pads in a wad...” His jaw clenched as you reached out to pat him on the shoulder condescendingly, delivering one final blow to Bam’s fragile little ego, “Maybe you should stick to something you’re good at, like pushing your buddies around in shopping carts or throwing yourself into bushes?”

Cocky MTV millionaire skater boy, walking around like he’s the best thing on wheels with those shitty tattoos and that dumbass facial hair and those big eyes that almost made him look like a baby deer. Yeah, like Bambi- you’d have to use that one later. But there was something to his blind overconfidence that you found, for lack of a better word, sexy.

Thank god for the fact they went to the bar that night: a chance to get away from the host of shit that happened that day- or at least, it would be if Ryan was able to keep Y/N’s name out of his mouth. The fact that he was so smitten with you was starting to make Bam believe that his best friend was either completely blind or some kind of masochist. “She is such a fucking cunt- what god’s name do you see in her?” Thank god the bar was loud enough that their conversation couldn’t be heard over the chatter and the other guys’ bad behavior. Ryan just shook his head at his obliviousness, “You’ve got no idea what’s going on, do you?” Bam, who couldn’t usually see beyond his own nose, still had no clue what he was saying- this chick was a bitch who hated him for no reason, end of story.

Taking a swig of his beer, Ryan had this demeanor about him like he was imparting ancient wisdom onto him, “Let’s ignore the fact that she’s ridiculously hot, because all motocross chicks are hot-“ Bam cut him off, “The hell you mean?” Dunn sighed before he began to explain, “Have you ever watched a woman ride a dirt bike? It's the goddamn hips, man. I can’t explain it- point is, she was flirting with you all day- frankly, I’m jealous!” He made it sound like basic logic because, to everyone except Bam, it kind of was. In the other corner of the room, Steve-O just broke a cue stick over his thigh and was using it’s splintered remains to threaten a guy who he swore cheated him out of a hundred bucks, but the entire bar might as well have been dead silent as Bam tried to process all of this. He could only scoff at his best friend’s words- clearly, he was under the influence of this she-devil. “No way...” He was used to chicks throwing themselves at him left and right, so he took any signs of boldness from a woman as a threat to him and his masculinity.

“I’m serious! Some women just work like that…You know what?“ Ryan loudly put his pint glass down on the sticky bar top and turned to him, “I’m willing to bet money- actual money on this.” Bam was a little surprised at his eagerness, but more than that he wanted to prove him wrong. “You know what? Sure. If this chick flirts with me tomorrow- by your definition- I owe you fifty bucks.” “Deal.”

Luckily for Bam the next day, most of the other guys were too distracted filming that slip & slide stunt on the repurposed plywood loop that got configured into some sort of hellish ski jump to notice what was going on between him and you. As they went through filming their bits, you had a lot of time to yourselves to fuck around. Bam would’ve completely ignored you that next day filming after all that bullshit yesterday, but Ryan’s little bet seemed to motivate him to be more of an obnoxious ass (which, mind you, he was really good at). You were idly chatting with Dunn about which of the guys you thought was going to eat the most shit with this piece, when Bam suddenly jutted into your conversation, “Y’know, I don’t get what the big deal is with the whole dirt bike thing-“ Plopping down next to where his buddy was sitting on one of the various plywoods structures that littered the shoreline of Camp Payne, that slight defensive tone seemed to slip through, “I mean, skatin’s way harder- you don’t have some thing between your legs doin’ all the work for you...”

Ryan actually choked on his beer, but honest to god, there was no euphemism behind Bam’s words. You would’ve thought he just got slapped by the speed the visible realization hit his face after those words left his mouth. Idiot. He tried to play off the fact he just said that to a chick by pretending it was totally intentional, but his laughter was tinged with nerves. But you didn’t feel threatened or try to defend yourself- in fact, his whole “open mouth, insert foot” slip up gave you an idea. Coyly cocking your head to one side, you took a few slow steps toward Bam who was starting to turn this really cute shade of pink. “Really?” Everyone was in their lake gear for the stunt, so the fact that you were half naked didn’t help the tension as you leaned in close- a breath shy of touching him- to whisper right into Bam’s ear slowly, drawing your words out, “Well, i think your problem is that you don’t understand that feeling of riding something so powerful…” Teasingly, your hands slid down the length of your thighs, “The cold, hard steel between your thighs, the-”

Your little tease was cut off by Ryan toppling backwards off of whatever he was sitting on, because even though your words were this soft, drawn out coo only intended for the ears of the embarrassed, flustered mess in front of You, you were apparently barely loud enough for him to overhear. Not that you cared. You were more preoccupied with the wide eyed, borderline slack jawed expression plastered on Bam’s face. Satasified, you spun around on your heel, slapped your ass, and walked away, leaving the two men alone in the silence. “Holy shit…” Well, that is until Ryan eventually spoke up, ”Dude, you owe me fifty bucks.” Still trying to process what the hell just happened, the only response Bam could conjure up was a nod, “Yeah. I guess I do.” “So pay up.” Turning to Ryan, Bam slapped his outstretched hand away, “I ain’t got no pockets! I’ll get’ya later...”

From that day on, the teasing between you and Bam started getting less mean and more playful. MTV wanted more seasons, then a movie, and as such you’d be seeing Bam a whole lot more. Although he got on your nerves half the time (yet again, anyone who spent more than a minute around him would say the same), a part of you found the way he could be such a little bitch really endearing, not to mention that it was equally as fun to piss him off as it was to fluster him, neither of which took much effort. Sure, to the rest of the world, Bam was this insane badass with no regards for his own safety, but all it took for you to make him melt was you wrapping your arms around his shoulders from behind and squishing your boobs up against his back. While totally innocuous to you, that one encounter by the lake completely changed his mind when it came to that hot motocross chick. What simple creatures men are…

You couldn’t remember for the life of you what magazine wanted that photo shoot they flew you in for while they were promoting the second movie, because you were more excited at the prospect of messing with your favorite boy toy. “I’m still surprised you got that Right Guard commercial, seeing as you care so much about bathing and staying clean…” Standing behind in the cover of a trailer, you stripped down to your underwear to change into the tight, black riding gear they had for you, not even bothered by the way Bam was shamelessly watching you from where he leaned against the trailer wall. “Yeah- An’ i'm wondering whose bright idea it was to dress you in that…” Turning to press your hands against Bam’s shoulders, you put on a mock pout, “Aww, c’mon Bambi! I thought you’d like a woman in leather…” The little back and forth the two of you had wasn’t the only thing that made Bam crack a grin, judging by the way he was shamelessly sneaking glances at your half naked body, “Not saying I don’t like it…”

Now, what you were slated to do was a pretty basic jump, one you’ve done maybe a hundred times before: one ramp, over a gap where the cast was lined up underneath you, and down to the other ramp. Your overconfidence here may have contributed to the outcome of your stunt. Picture, if you will, this photo sequence in some magazine: first shot, you making your way up the ramp, the next moment you’re airborne, soaring up- photo two, photo three- then the fourth, after you began your decent, when your front wheel barely grazes the lip of the ramp, and the fifth, when helmet makes contact with plywood and your bike goes flying off into the background. In fact, the moment when you felt your brain bump against the back of your skull as your head sickeningly cracked against the wood was the moment anyone noticed anything was amiss, and who was the first to run to your aid after you skidded down to curl up at the base of the ramp? “Jesus- fuck!” Yep, there Bam went after you, practically shoving Dunn out of his way to dash towards you like a gazelle on the Savannah. The shouted orders not to move you from the medic were mere white noise in his ears next to the thrumming of his own heartbeat.

Bam showed up at the hospital quickly, around the same time you got there, but the only reason he didn’t run into you sooner was that he spun on his heel halfway through his dash towards the elevator to make a U-turn for the gift shop and grab you flowers. Even so, his concern was palpable when he actually got to your floor and started questioning the nurses on where you were, despite you not even being there for five minutes. Though you could very well hear Bam and his little tizzy through the door that was left open as he asked fifty nurses where they took you, he was completely, totally chill when he walked in the door, like some switch flipped in his head.

“So, how is it?” Sitting across the room in one of those stiff hospital chairs, Bam dropped the bouquet of periwinkle bellflowers onto the white sheets at the foot of your bed. Glancing down at it, you groaned, squeezing your eyes shut at the shooting pain going up your arm, “Dude- this sucks fuckin’ ass…” Ask him when he met you what he would do if you broke your elbow, and he would probably say something along the lines of high fiving Dunn or having a drink to celebrate, but not now. “Don’t sweat it. I broke my elbow seven times- you’ll be fine, I promise.” You smiled softly at Bam’s comforting words in the silent ER room, thinking about how he must really care about you.

[high-on-the-dying-sun]

Keep god out of California! And keep the devil inside of you.

Chris Pontious x Fem!Reader

Inbox is open always!

(please for the love of Johnny Knoxville give me something.)

author note: so this is smut and like this is my first time posting and writing smut so lets all pray this doesn't get my account flagged.

Word count: 806

“My name’s Satan, and um …i don’t even know what i’m doing here. I should have stayed down in hell where I belong." Chris said into the camera Y/N holding. Y/N turns off the camera and sits down on the  trailer floor; Chris stands there awkwardly. “This shits tight.” he complains. “Yeah I can tell.” Y/N say pointing at Chris’s crotch wear his costume had perfectly outlined his cock. Chris looked to where you were pointing at and blushed a bit “oh i should probably fix that.” Chris began to take off his devil costume. “Whoa!” she gaps as Chris now stands in front of her naked. “Chris, why do you got a solid?” “i don't have-” Chris looks down at himself “oh well your hot soo….” “Jesus christ.” Chris rolls his eyes, “that's ironic. I'm dressed as the devil.”

Y/N Gets up from her spot on the floor. “Where are you going?” Chris asks “leaving so you can take care of that.” Chris thinks fast. He's liked Y/N for some time now and this is his chance he had to take it. “No wait, help me with it. please?” Chris rushed out. She turns on her heel. “Help you with it?” She turns her head to the side, her hair framing her face perfectly. “Help me with it.” Chris confirms walking up to her. And places his hands on the side of her face and kisses her surprising soft lips. She melted into the kiss. This is the moment Chris has been waiting for months now. He finally has you. 

His boner rested against thigh as he takes a step even closer to her and broke the kiss. “So will you help me with this?” Chris asks his voice ruff with lust; she nods frantically. 

Chris slides his arms around Y/N waist and pulls her closer to lower the both of them onto the floor. Chris fumbles with her shirt and pulls it up. She's not wearing a bra. “Oh wow. You got big honkers.” she laughs “honkers?” “shhh shhh dont speak babe just let me just take care of us.” she shuts her mouth. 

Chris dips his head to her neck and sucks leaving love bites in his path. His lips trail down to her breast bone. His hands go from her waist to her boobs in seconds. He takes the bud of her right breast  in between his fingers and he puts his mouth on the left, She lets soft breathy moans escape her lips. This only drove Chris wild. 

He moves his hand and mouth away from her breast and hooks his fingers around her belt loops trying to take off her pants. She undoes the buttons at the same time. Chris looks up at her. “We really doing this?” “yes.” Chris grinned at her response and let his fingers trace at the hem of her underwear. His hands danced around the hem teasingly.

“Chris come on, we dont got much time on our hands.” she rushed out. It was true anyone from the crue could come waltzing into the trailer at any given moment and he had to do his walking around in the satan caustom soon. Chris shimead off her underwear and spread her legs revealing all to him. 

“God your so fuckin beautiful.” he grumbels  as he brought his finger to her clit. She let out rather loud moans that made her slap a hand across her mouth. Chris looked up at her. “Good girl.” he whispered out to her as he crawled onto her. He brought his lips to her neck once more. 

Chris grabbed his throbbing cock and gently guided himself into her. Chirs let out a small moan himself as he felt her wetness around him. Her eyes rolled back into her skull as Chris started to move himself in and out of her. “Fuck you feel great around my cock.” Chris moans out and quickens his past. He puts his right hand on the ground and his left stays on her waist to brace the both of them. She looks at him with wide lustful eyes. Chris could feel her walls flutter around him. She was close;so was he. “Chris oh fuck!” Her whines drive Chris to thrust faster than he ever thought was possible and within seconds she started to spasm and shake. Y/N clenched around him and dug her fingernails into his biceps. 

Chris thrust go sloppy as he felt his stomach tighten. “Of shit.” Chris pulls out of her which makes her whine at the missing sensation of him in her. Chris stroked himself a few times before spilling right on her stomach. 

Chris looks down at her for a few minutes both their chest heaving and sweat covering their foreheads. “So round two?”

[thegettingbyp2]

Hiiiii this is my first time requesting anything but basically your sugar daddy Johnny Knoxville fic had me FERAL and I was wondering if you could do a part two with heavy smut.(pls I’m on my knees begging)ps.I’m a huge fan ok bye ily!!

Red Lines

I combined this with a request about the reader leaving scratch marks down Johnny's back

As soon as Johnny told you to go and wait on the bed, you were off of his lap and running up the stairs straight away, the sound of Johnny’s footsteps following you exciting you even further. Johnny caught up to you before you reached the top of the stairs and you yelped as he threw you over his shoulder, spanking your ass before he dropped you down onto the bed.

Instead of joining you straight away, Johnny just stood at the foot of the bed for a while and looked at you. He thought you were absolutely beautiful, the look of excitement in your eyes and the way your hair had splayed out around your head, but what he loved most was seeing you laying on your shared bed, wearing a skimpy lingerie set that you’d bought with his money and what topped it all off was the fact that he was the only person who was able to see you like this.

‘You’re so pretty, baby,’ he murmured as he crawled on to the bed, bracing his arms at either side of your head so that he was hovering over you. He dipped his head into your neck and began to pepper small kisses and bites along your skin. ‘You’re like my doll, my pretty little doll who I can dress up.’

Your thighs clenched together at his words and you nodded in agreement. ‘All yours, PJ,’ you whined as you felt his lips travel further down your neck until his teeth wrapped around one of your bra straps, pulling back until he let it go, sending it slapping back against your skin, the light sting making your back arch and a small cry leaving your lips.

‘As good as you look in this,’ he said absentmindedly, his finger tracing the outline of the top of the bra, making your skin break out in goose bumps, ‘I think it’s time we get rid of it.’ Thanking the heavens that the bra had a front clasp, in one quick movement he deftly undid the bra, letting it fall off of your chest and helping you untangle your wrists from the straps before roughly discarding it behind him.

His hands instantly came up to cup both of your breasts as his lips descended onto one of your nipples and he began to suck lightly. Your back arched further into him and he slid his arm up your back, holding you against his mouth and your hands slid into his hair, holding him back. Loving the small whines and whimpers he was drawing from your lips, Johnny pulled himself away from your nipple and began a slow trail of kisses down your stomach until his tongue quickly darted out to lick a small stripe along your panty line.

‘Please,’ you whispered, nodding your head, as he quickly yanked your panties down your legs and you heard the familiar sound of fabric ripping as you grumbled lightly at Johnny.

‘I’ll buy you new ones,’ he said quickly, pressing his lips to yours to shut you up as his hand found your pussy and he ran a finger either side of your clit, teasing you by dipping his fingertip into your pussy before trailing back up to your clit. ‘Fuck, doll, you’re so wet! You like it when I buy you pretty things, hmm?’

‘PJ, I can’t wait, please,’ you begged, holding his face between your hands as you pulled his head up to connect your eyes. You knew that Johnny knew exactly what he was doing when you watched the smirk grow on his lips.

‘What do you need, baby,’ he asked, his tone of voice making it completely clear that you weren’t going to get anything unless you told him. Your hands moved down to the hem of his t-shirt and started tugging upwards, signalling that you wanted if off of him. He laughed lightly as he helped you take his t-shirt off and he pushed his trousers down far enough for his cock to spring out, the head tapping against your clit making your hips twitch upwards.

‘I need you now PJ,’ you whined, trying to shift your hips further upwards to get his cock to slide into you. ‘I don’t want to wait for you to - oh!’ you gasped as Johnny cut you off by roughly thrusting into you. He held himself still inside you for a couple of seconds, letting you get used to him because of the lack of foreplay but as soon as he felt your walls clenching around him, he pulled out only to quickly thrust back in straight away, his pace speeding up until your breath was being punched out of your body every time his hips hit yours.

Your fingers gripped tightly onto his shoulders and you heard the hiss that left Johnny’s lips when your nails started to dig in. You moved your hands down his back, your nails creating a series of bright red lines on his back and the slight pain only made him buck his hips harder into you. It wasn’t long before you felt your orgasm creeping up on you due to how excited you’d been getting when you were choosing the lingerie in the store earlier that day and you knew that Johnny was getting close as well when you felt his thrusts began to grow sloppy.

‘Baby, please,’ you begged, reaching between your bodies to play with your clit and you gasped when Johnny’s hips hit yours roughly as he looked between you, finding the sight of you pleasuring yourself whilst on his cock hotter than he thought. A couple of flicks to your clit and you were gone, your legs shaking around his waist and your nails digging in further and in the back of your mind, you worried that you might have drawn blood. In the haze of the come down from your orgasm, you heard Johnny groan and pull out of you before you felt his cum splash onto your stomach.

Collapsing next to you, Johnny took your hand in one of his and brought it to his lips to press a kiss to your palm. ‘You’re amazing, doll,’ he said tiredly.

‘Me? You were the one who did all the work there, baby,’ you replied, a tired laugh colouring your voice.

The next day, you and Johnny were on set with the rest of the Jackass Forever cast. You were distracted while you were watching Johnny pull his white t-shirt, now stained blue, off so he could put a clean top on so you didn’t understand why everyone started yelling as soon as they saw his back.

‘Fuck, Knox, you get a new cat or something?’

‘Doesn’t that hurt, man?’

You felt your cheeks heat up when Johnny turned around and shot you a wink, practically telling everyone that it was you who put those marks on his back. You then felt everyone’s eyes turn to you and you shrank in your seat slightly, a smirk on your lips as you saw how impressed everyone one was. After all, you were the only one who could mark up Johnny Knoxville like that.

[kaasknot]

Heyo! Hope you’re having a good weekend!

I saw this today and wonder if you have a take on it?

https://www.laineygossip.com/rami-malek-to-star-as-buster-keaton-new-drama-series-seems-like-job-for-johnny-knoxville/73389

i've seen so many takes flash through the buster keaton fandom in the past 48 hours, lol. as for this article, i mostly agree with the author's objections to rami malek. he doesn't especially look like buster, but eh, he's got similarly ginormous buggy eyes, which imo is more important than <checks writing on facebook> nose, jawline, or height. also he's a good actor and good with accents, so at face value he's no worse than donald o'connor in 1957's "the buster keaton story."

the thing that took my fucking breath away, though, was this sentence: "Over the last twenty years, no one has done more in cinema to keep the spirit of Buster Keaton alive than Knoxville and the Jackass crew." i am SORRY??? this author thinks fucking jackass is the true spirit of buster keaton???

rant incoming.

i don't particularly like comedy as a genre. it relies too much on idiotic situations, juvenile humor, or humiliation. i've never watched an episode of "jackass," but from what i've heard, it leans hard on the last two. i cannot stress this enough: buster's sense of humor bears almost NOTHING in common with johnny knoxville's, aside from stuntwork.

i hate humiliation-based comedy beyond words. i hate it. i got bullied severely as a kid, and candid camera-type shit where some quote-unquote "comedian" comes along and torments another person for laughs reads to me as pure bullying. when buster cameoed on "candid camera" in 1962, the joke was always on him. he would go into a restaurant and suffer mishap after mishap, to the point that the other patrons would try to help him. the best modern comparison is that tiktok of the guy faking phone confessions so he can capture the eavesdropper's reactions. it's the kindest form of bystander humor i can think of, and a far cry from "jackass."

i have a low tolerance for that kind of comedy too, tbh. it's better than making someone else the butt of the joke, but it's so hard to get the balance right, and more often than not it makes me want to curl up and die of secondhand embarrassment. but i never get that feeling in buster's films. sure, he goes through embarrassing situations, but it never hurts. there's a gentleness and deft touch that keeps it from being sadomasochistic. and i think this is something people don't really understand about his style of comedy: yes, it was physical, and yes, it was slapstick, but it was also surprisingly cerebral. he wasn't just a manchild yelling and throwing pies around; it could be very subtle stuff. and, god, he would have fucking died before he did something like nailing his balls to his thigh or snorting wasabi till he puked. just trying to imagine him doing that is—it's like trying to open a lock with an orange peel. it's not only laughable, it's absurd to try. buster's humor wasn't based in shock value. it was based in logic, wry commentary on humanity, and yes, eye-popping stunts that he walked away from—unharmed.

it's straight up comparing an arabian to a donkey. i mean sure, they're both horse-shaped, right?

back to the article, the author's correct that stuntwork is vital to any buster keaton biopic, and i do have reservations about rami's casting on that front. buster learned how to tumble at the age of three, and he practiced it continuously for the next 67 years. unless rami has a background in dance, gymnastics, or stuntwork... i'm not sure he'll be able to train up the kind of muscle memory he'll need before filming.

but i'm also willing to extend the benefit of the doubt. i heard a rumor that he's also a producer on the series; to me, that indicates he's invested. he wants it to be good.

brace for the worst, hope for the best. that's what i'm doing.

[scientificinquirer-blog]

‘A Bottomless Pit’: How Out-of-Pocket TMJ Costs Drive Patients Into Debt.

Over three decades of relentless pain, Jonna Tallant has tried about every TMJ treatment: mouthguards, six sets of braces, dental crowns and appliances, drugs, physical therapy, Botox, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic care, and surgery. Nothing has helped. Tallant, 51, of Knoxville, Tennessee, said she lives in agony and cannot eat any food that must be chewed. Despite spending a small fortune…

[keithbrown1]

Comprehensive Family Dental Care with Brian Rich DMD: Your Family Dentist in Knoxville

Finding the right dentist for your family is essential for maintaining optimal oral health. we specialize in providing comprehensive dental care tailored to meet the unique needs of every family member. As your trusted family dentist in Knoxville, we are committed to creating a welcoming and comfortable environment where patients of all ages can receive the highest quality dental care.

Why Choose a Family Dentist?

A family dentist offers several advantages that make dental care more convenient and effective for families. Here’s why choosing a family dentist like Brian Rich DMD is beneficial:

Convenience: With a family dentist, you can schedule appointments for multiple family members on the same day, saving time and reducing the need for multiple visits.

Comprehensive Care: Family dentists are trained to handle a wide range of dental issues for patients of all ages. This means that whether you need a routine cleaning, orthodontic consultation, or senior dental care, you can receive all services under one roof.

Familiarity and Trust: Building a long-term relationship with a family dentist helps in establishing trust and familiarity. This is particularly beneficial for children who might feel anxious about dental visits. A familiar face and consistent care can make dental visits more comfortable.

Services Offered by Brian Rich DMD

We offer a full range of dental services designed to meet the needs of every family member, from young children to adults and seniors. Here are some of the key services we provide:

Preventive Care: Regular dental check-ups and cleanings are crucial for maintaining oral health. Our preventive care services include thorough cleanings, fluoride treatments, and dental sealants to protect teeth from decay.

Pediatric Dentistry: We understand the unique dental needs of children. Our pediatric dentistry services focus on preventive care, early detection of dental issues, and education on proper oral hygiene habits.

Orthodontics: Whether your child needs braces or you’re considering adult orthodontic treatment, we offer comprehensive orthodontic services to help you achieve a straight, beautiful smile.

Restorative Dentistry: From fillings and crowns to bridges and dentures, our restorative dental services are designed to repair and replace damaged or missing teeth, restoring function and aesthetics to your smile.

Cosmetic Dentistry: Enhance the appearance of your smile with our cosmetic dental services. We offer teeth whitening, veneers, and other cosmetic treatments to give you a smile you’ll be proud to show off.

Emergency Dental Care: Dental emergencies can happen at any time. We provide prompt and effective emergency dental care to address urgent issues and provide relief when you need it most.

Our Commitment to Your Family’s Dental Health

We are dedicated to providing personalized and compassionate dental care for your entire family. Our friendly and professional staff work hard to create a comfortable and stress-free environment, ensuring that every visit to our office is a positive experience.

We believe in the importance of patient education and open communication. We take the time to explain treatment options and procedures, empowering you to make informed decisions about your family’s oral health. Our goal is to build long-lasting relationships with our patients based on trust, quality care, and mutual respect.

Schedule Your Family’s Dental Appointments Today!

If you’re looking for a trusted family dentist in Knoxville, look no further than Brian Rich DMD. We are here to provide comprehensive and compassionate dental care for every member of your family. From routine check-ups to advanced treatments, our team is dedicated to helping you achieve and maintain optimal oral health.

Call Brian Rich DMD today to schedule your family’s dental appointments. Let us be your partner in ensuring a lifetime of healthy, beautiful smiles for your family. We look forward to welcoming you to our dental family!

[kafus]

my 10th anniversary umbreon went from level 70 to 79 from breeding shenanigans a while back, and was super close to the speed stat of 124 i needed, so i fed two carbos and KO’d two wingull with the macho brace to get 24 EVs, then used a rare candy to achieve level 80 with 124 speed.

the latios i want has at least a 21 speed IV and a +speed nature (not jolly though lol) which at bare minimum is a speed stat of 137 at level 50, and umbreon’s speed of 124 + the speed badge boost brings her to an effective speed of 136 in battle, so i can use damageless screech to check latios’ speed before capturing it to check further. umbreon being dark type makes her immune to both of latios’ attacks (luster purge and psychic) which is convenient

BTW while i have no qualms distributing events to myself, this is pretty cool bc i got access to southern island on this file by mixing records w someone who actually swiped the physical eon ticket on their sapphire file back at knoxville regionals in february lmao

i see timid/hasty/naive 21+ speed IV high special attack IV latios in my dreams…

[shojimezolovemail]

I dont think I've ever seen anyone write for jackass platonically this is exciting.

could I request how the guys are w someone who is overly affectionate in all ways? like super big on physical touch and always buys them things yk? tysm<333

A/N: slowly but surely getting all the requests done i swear :”)

warnings: none besides the mention of alcohol

pairing(s): jackass cast x platonic!reader

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

i think johnny’s a pretty affectionate person anyway

so he’d definitely really appreciate any that you give him

you probably gave him a small gift upon meeting him and he keeps it in his office right on his desk

you usually won’t even have to initiate if you want a hug though

he’s already hugging everyone in his sight

you’re near him and someone got hurt? he’s latched onto you while laughing his ass off

he’ll return the affection you give him too

whenever there’s a long day of shooting

johnny always lets you rest your head on his shoulder or just lean on him

STEVE-O

steve-o also seems pretty affectionate

not so much to outsiders but he is

once you attach yourself to his hip, he’s pretty lovey

you’d bring him random baked goods or food during the week and he’d immediately begin to appreciate you more than anyone

if you’ve seen his MTV cribs, you’d know how much it would be appreciated

after that he tries to assure you he’ll return the favor or pay you back

but you’re constantly telling him it’s just your nature

steve o’s pulling you into a hug once he’s finished an epic stunt

probably picking you up and spinning around

CHRIS PONTIUS

pretty affectionate anyways

always open to your physical affection

if you bring him little gifts, he’s excited every time

even if it’s just a bracelet you made the morning of, he’ll never take it off

he’s always super appreciative of everything you do too

chris is pulling you in for hugs or grabbing your hands after you give him something

if you’re being physical, he’s wrapping his arms around you and holding you close

going out to events with the crew

you always end up as chris’ date

BAM MARGERA

he’s like a weird cat

bam’s not super affectionate himself

but he welcomes yours once he gets more comfortable with you

he especially likes the little gift part of your affection though, mainly because he likes seeming what you present him

you’ve brought him multiple HIM merch items and he has to contain his excitement

those are the times where he initiates the affection

pulling you in for a side hug

bam’s also good for going to clubs/bars with

he’ll let you use him as something to rest against as long as you let him do the same

RYAN DUNN

not super affectionate because he’s not used to it

everyone gets on him for not smelling the best so when you show him physical affection

he’s a little flustered

ryan’s definitely not against it but just very confused

he appreciates it though even if he doesn’t really show it

if he sees you having a bad day, he’s quick to open his arms and let you take yourself into then

you’re always leaning on him or touching him somehow

the gifts you bring him are usually homemade and he keeps as many of them as he can

DANGER EHREN

i don’t think he’s really used to people being nice to him without there being a prank involved

so he’s a lot more hesitant than others

but eventually you try to comfort him after a bad stunt

so he becomes progressively more comfortable

ehren is more lenient on physical affection so

you definitely take advantage of that

after he fell for the soup? tackling him in a hug

now you both smell like soup

he’s become accustomed to bracing himself if he hears you because you will tackle him in a hug

DAVE ENGLAND

dave’s pretty neutral on affectionate

he’s also someone who’s confused by the affection he receives though

you mainly give him gifts related to helping with his stomach issues or things that reminded you of him

so he’s very appreciative of you for sure

the first time you hug him without wanting he’s stiff like a board

also probably a little drunk when you do so he laughs about it

dave also makes you be his date to almost every premiere

on set, he’s seeking your affection after bad stunts

you also like sneaking up behind him and giving him hugs (freaks him out the first few times)

[danarmartinorthodontist]

For many, the idea of braces brings to mind uncomfortable metal brackets and years of self-consciousness when smiling. However, those days are over! Clear braces provide a discreet and comfortable alternative to traditional metal braces, making it easier than ever to achieve the straight, confident smile you've always wanted.

[imthebadmichael]

A VISIT THAT CHANGE A LIFE.

__________________________

It was March 7, 1973

A young Michael Jackson visited the bedside of a 6-year old Leslie Robinette, who suffered from aplastic anaemia caused by the genetic disease Fanconi anaemia.

Michael visited her at the Seattle Children's Hospital (known then as The Children's Orthopaedic Hospital and Medical Centre.)

Leslie had received a bone marrow transplant and was one of the youngest to ever have the procedure. She went through chemotherapy, radiation, an ever-changing plethora of medications and was kept in isolation for three months.

Her state of health was precarious, the doctors saying, after she was dismissed from the hospital, that she might live 10 years.

"I was sitting in my room looking out the window, ironically listening "Looking through the window" by the Jackson 5, when I heard all the nurses going wild and carrying on", Leslie said 26 years later.

The Jackson 5 were there. "They asked me which one I wanted to see, and I said I wanted to see Michael, " she says, laughing. She described Michael as shy, but kind and sincere, signing an autograph for her, holding her hand and asking about her condition. "I would never say that he saved her life - that's crazy - but he gave her back a little of her will to live because she had lost it," Trine Robinette, Leslie's sister added. Leslie's health eventually improved, and her family returned to their farm in Greenville, Tennessee, where she lived with her parents. 11 years later, Leslie met Michael again, while he was on tour in Knoxville with his brothers. Leslie received free tickets, then went backstage to meet the Jackson brothers. "I asked him if he remembered me, and he said yes. We talked about the progress with my condition and how I was getting my back brace off soon", Robinette said. Michael then told his security that she was his guest, so she got to watch the show from a raised VIP platform, seated next to Michael's mother, Katherine. Still struggling with her disease, she was less than 4 feet tall and weighted about 60 pounds. She is now in her 40's and involved with the North American Riding for the Handicapped association.

"I've always felt that Michael and I were kind of kindred spirits, because we both grew up not being able to really go anywhere or anything normal kids do", Robinette says, adding that she hopes people will remember Michael Jackson for his good deeds and music.

_________________________

❗SHARE SO THAT PEOPLE WILL KNOW MJ MORE❗

_________________________

(Follow @imthebadmichael on Instagram for more contents)

[wutbju]

Trillia Newbell, a Christian author, had just delivered a talk in Jackson, Tennessee, when a White man approached her.

Newbell, who is Black, had spoken about imago Dei -- the idea that all humans, of all races, are made in the image and likeness of God. The man disagreed."He explained that I was subhuman, that I was a different species," recalled Newbell. "And he was trying to use Scripture as proof."Newbell, 41, chooses her words carefully. But the Knoxville native is candid about the racism she's faced during her ministry, including the past seven years as a community outreach director for an arm of the Southern Baptist Convention."Too many times to name, I have gone after a speaking event and wept in my hotel room," Newbell recalled in a recent interview, "just realizing how deeply deceived some people are."Since the death of George Floyd in police custody in May, conservative White Christians have condemned racial injustice in unprecedented ways, with many acknowledging and pledging to fight the persistent scourge of systemic racism....

But even as they appreciate the scales falling from some White Christians' eyes, some Black Christians remain wary.

That's especially true of those like Newbell who have spent significant time in predominantly White spaces. Many said they are bracing for a "whitelash" -- the moment White Christians tire of talking about race and bristle when Black pastors or congregants want to continue the conversation.

[xplrvibes]

I had no idea Bam had an instagram, that made me sad.

Yea, it's kind of cursed knowledge...he'll be fine for a while, and be posting adorable pics and videos of him and his son and his wife, and then all of a sudden he goes off and starts shitting on Novak and Knoxville, bringing up Ryan Dunn, saying things that make absolutely no sense, and writing out gibberish messages in a "secret language" that he invented that honestly just looks super creepy.

He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder some time ago, and is also an alcoholic/drug addict. His rants on instagram usually indicate that he either stopped taking his meds, or started drinking again.

Whenever I start seeing those posts, I always brace myself. It's just sad. Eventually, it's going to end very badly.

[danielwhite8524-blog]

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[evalinkatrineberg]

Practice Prompt 1

I knew something was up the moment Lydia walked through the door with a giddy look on her face. That look was normally reserved only for the moment right before she opened her birthday presents, or when a prank she was attempting to pull on one of our brothers went off as perfectly as she had planned it to. This warm May evening was certainly not her birthday, and I was fairly certain she hadn’t orchestrated another prank since the gnome debacle the day before. Yet, the look didn’t vanish from her face as she placed the mail down on the small wooden shoe rack by the front door, making quick work of her shoelaces.

She must be excited about something in the mail, I decided. I was undeniably curious about what it could be, but I had bigger things to worry about at the moment. My final paper for my Integrative Biology of Fishes class was due at midnight, just six short hours from now, and I wanted to make sure it was perfect. Sure, I was already on my fifth round of edits, but if I could pull off a high grade in this class, it would do wonders for my GPA.

Within seconds of me turning back to my work, Lydia was practically dancing around the dining room table, humming to herself. As much as I wanted to focus on my work, I couldn’t help but look up and smile at her. Lydia might be twenty-four years old now, but she had never lost her youthful exuberance. Her energy was infectious, and before long, I decided to submit the essay as it was, and finally looked up from my work at my older sister, who was staring back at me expectantly. I raised an eyebrow at her.

“Do you want to call everyone down here, or should I?”

I bit my lip, totally unsure of how to respond. Why did she want our entire family present for a piece of mail? Sure, she had a flair for dramatics, but she had to know how annoyed our brothers would be if she dragged them downstairs for something unimportant to them, like a letter from one of her friends. The last time she had called all of us together to open a letter was when she was receiving her admissions decisions from grad schools. She had just about finished her masters degree now, though. Unless she was planning on pursuing a doctorate? I frowned. Surely she would have told me about that, if that was the case. We’d shared a bedroom for most of our lives, and whispered our hopes and dreams to each other in the dark almost every night while we were growing up. We knew all of each other’s secrets. Or at least, I thought we did.

“How about I call everyone down?” Our mother emerged from the kitchen at that moment, a basket full of bread rolls in her hands.

Lydia had definitely gotten her never-fading youth from our mother. Despite now being the mother of five children, she didn’t appear to have a single gray hair, or a single line on her face. Our father had always joked that he had thought our mother was fifteen years old when they had first met, until she had corrected him, and told him that she was actually twenty-two.

“That works, too,” Lydia replied, her grin slowly growing wider.

Our mother simply nodded, walking to the foot of the staircase before yelling, “Boys! Come down for dinner! It’s almost ready!”

The thundering of my brothers’ footsteps overhead was the only response. Now that it was May, all of us were back from college for the summer. The only one of us who even had to leave the house for school still was Randall, who was sixteen and still in high school, but even his school year was about to come to a close. Gabriel, who was twenty-two, had just finished up his undergrad education, and was home until he went back to his alma mater in the fall to pursue a masters degree in chemistry. Sam, who was twenty, had finished his finals just a few days before I had finished my own, and was home for a few weeks before he began his summer internship.

I had opted to go to college closer to home, and as a result, still lived at home year round. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to travel - in fact, I yearned to see the rest of Illea, and the world as a whole. Rather, it was more of a practical decision. The city we lived in, Knoxville, was home to a great university. As an added bonus, my father was the head of a research team in one of labs there, so he was able to drive me to and from campus everyday. Plus, with Lydia being away at college, I had had my own bedroom for the past few years, and I was a little hesitant to go back to sharing a room. Sure, sharing a dorm room would have likely been fine, but I did like having my own space to retreat back to at the end of the day, especially after organic chemistry lab sessions.

Knoxville also had its charms outside of school. It was a city with many parks, perfect for running early in the morning before class. I was also quite fond of the downtown areas of the city as well, with their bright lights and stone streets.

Within moments, my brothers had taken their seats around me. My father followed behind them, fluffing my hair as he passed by to take the seat at the had of the table. Lydia, however, remained standing, an envelope clutched in her hand as she looked at all of us. The envelope itself appeared to be rather thick, though it was hard to be certain with Lydia holding it so tightly to her chest. It definitely wasn’t as big as her college acceptance letters had been, so at the very least, I was fairly certain she wasn’t keeping any secrets pertaining to her education from me. That was a start, I supposed.

“Well?” Our mother’s voice cut through my thoughts. She had taken up a spot standing behind my father, rubbing his shoulders with her hands.

Lydia just smiled before opening the envelope and clearing her throat. “‘Dear women of Illea,’” she read. I felt time come to a screeching halt around me the moment the words exited her mouth. “‘A recent census has confirmed that a single woman between the ages of nineteen and twenty-three currently resides in your home. We would like to make you aware of an upcoming opportunity to honor the great nation of Illea. As our beloved prince ventures into the next part of his life, he hopes to move forward with a partner, to marry a true daughter of Illea. Please fill out the enclosed form and return it to your local Province Services Office no later than May 10th. One woman from each province will be drawn at random to meet the prince.’”

All of us were silent for a moment, the only sounds in our small house the droning of the cicadas outside and the light buzz of the oven in the kitchen. A Selection! It didn’t feel real. The Selection was something Lydia and I had always talked about when we were on the brink of sleep as children. She had teased me mercilessly about my crush on Prince Arin, and I had been content to let my fantasies of being one of the Selected lull me to sleep. They were never more than that - fantasies - though. Until now.

Randall was the first to break the silence. “Upset that you’re too old to partake, Lydia?” His tone was teasing as he leaned back in his chair.

It began to sink in that Lydia was, in fact, too old to be the intended recipient of the letter. It was for me. I was nineteen, turning twenty in the autumn, putting me snugly within the age range announced in the letter.

“Are you going to do it, Ev?” My mother’s voice was soft,  her words almost a whisper as she, along with all the other members of my family, looked at me.

I exhaled through my mouth, smiling slightly. “I mean, how could I say no?” It’s been a dream of mine since I was a child, I added, not daring to speak the words out loud.

It had been almost ten years since I had admitted my crush on Prince Arin to my sister, and she had never let me live it down. While it could certainly be written off as the fantasy of a young girl, it was hard to deny now, based purely on photographic evidence, of course, that the prince had grown into a handsome man. I couldn’t help but wonder what he’d be like in person. Would he live up to how he was portrayed by the media? Was this my chance at having the sweep-you-off-your-feet kind of romance that I had dreamed about as a child?

Perhaps my expectations for romance were a tad too high, but I could blame that on my parents. The story of how they met and fell in love was one of the most romantic, albeit cheesy, stories that I knew, and they told it to all of us kids often while we were growing up. My father had been completing a study on how different types of music affected brain activity in humans. To help him with his experiment, he had hired a few musicians, all Fives, to play different styles of music for each of his test subjects. It was then that a certain young violinist caught his eye, and by the time most of his trials were done, and he realized he might never see her again, he asked her on date. Six months later, after his trials had ended, they were engaged. Twenty-five years after that, they were still happily married, my mother having taken her new position as a Three in stride.

I looked over to my parents, trying to gauge their reactions. My mother was smiling, a hint of something I couldn’t quite place sparkling in her eyes. My father, on the other hand, was silent and expressionless, his hands folded under his chin, elbows brace on the table, as he looked down at nothing in particular.

As if he sensed that I was looking at him, he turned to face me, barely smiling as he said, “If it’s truly what you want to do, then I support your decision.”

His statement shattered the tension holding us all in place. Almost immediately, Lydia squealed, running around the table to hug me, the letter still in her hands. “You’ve got to start filling it out now,” she demanded, her smile wide as she smacked the form down on the table in front of me.

“After dinner,” my mother argued, making her way to the kitchen. “The Selection can wait an hour or so.”

I could hardly eat the food my mother had cooked as it was dished out around the table. All I could think about was the Selection, and what role I might play in it. Was I getting my hopes up too soon? What were the odds that I would even be Selected? What would I even do if I was Selected? The questions swirled in my head like a tornado, and the few bites of food I did eat were practically tasteless.

Time seemed to drag on until my mother and Lydia began clearing away the plates, Lydia moving the form back in front of me as she took away my plate. My brothers and father wandered over to the living room, turning on the TV to the news and chatting intermittently about how their days had been.

I stayed put at the table, Lydia eventually coming to take the seat on my left, and my mother the seat on my right. One of them must have handed me a pen, because there was one in my hand, though I made no move to use it.

I knew without looking that Lydia was rolling her eyes at me. “Come on, Evalin! You can’t fill out that form by staring at it!”

She was right. I let out a shuddering sigh, and put pen to paper, slowly filling out the form. The first few questions were easy enough. Name? Evalin Katrine Berg. Age? 19. Caste? Three. Height? 5 feet, 9 inches. Weight?

My mind blanked there for a moment. I had never been the kind of person to weigh myself daily, and neither were my mother nor sister, that I knew of. I looked at my mother, who, luckily, had already been looking over my shoulder.

“One hundred and twenty-one pounds, at your last doctors visit,” she supplied.

I shook my head as I scrawled her answer down on the paper. “I don’t know how you remember that.”

“It’s my job, as a mother,” she answered as she placed her arm over the back of my chair.

“Do you have all of our medical information memorized?” Lydia leaned back in her chair to get a clearer view of our mother as she talked.

I tuned out their continuing conversation as I forged onwards in filling out the form. Hair color? Blonde. Eye color? Blue. How many languages can you speak? Two, English and Swendish. My father’s parents were from Swendenway, and while my father had never been there himself, he made sure that all of his children knew how to speak the language.

What is the highest grade level you have completed? Some college.

“Oh, we have to field this one to everyone,” Lydia, who was back to looking over my shoulder, declared when she saw the next question. In a louder voice, she asked, “What are some special skills that Evalin possesses?”

“Being a nerd!” Randall’s answer was instant, and clearly didn’t require much effort.

“Being able to get up at the crack of dawn to run!” Though he had meant it as a joke, Gabriel might have just given me a marketable skill. I tapped my pen against my cheek as I pondered how to rephrase it to make it sound more impressive.

“She’s good at building things with her organic chemistry lab kit!” At least Sam was trying to be helpful.

My mother let out a loud sigh. “Don’t listen to them. You have great organizational skills, you’re a fast learner, and you’ve got a good memory. You’re also not a quitter, and you’re good at approaching a problem from many angles in order to find a solution.”

“And you know how to use a microscope,” Lydia tagged on, as I began rephrasing my mother’s statement into my own words on the paper.

Not long after that, I was placing the form into an envelope and sealing it, my mother assuring me that we could go to the Province Services Office early the next day to drop it off. I nodded, making my way to the stairs, exhaustion weighing my steps down. Why had filling out a form taken so much out of me? It should’ve been far easier than a lot of the work I did for school, and yet, somehow that form made me more nervous than any exam or paper ever could.

At the top of the staircase, the door to my father’s office was ajar. He sat behind his desk, his glasses firmly planted on the bridge of his nose as he squinted at something on one of the papers that littered his desk. The image of him in this exact position was a staple throughout my entire life. Days were very routine in our household, and they always ended with us all bidding my father goodnight as we passed his office on our way to our bedrooms.

I knocked twice on the open wooden door before stepping into his office, stopping to stand across his desk from him. “I hope I’m not interrupting! I just wanted to talk to you before I call it a night.”

He looked up at me then, offering me a small smile as he took the stack of papers he was looking at and tapped them against his desk twice, so that they were all lined up in a neater, more orderly pile. “You’re not interrupting anything important.”

It was my father’s way of saying to continue. Many people outside of our family had complained to my mother and I about my father’s supposedly odd mannerisms, but to me, they were as easy to read as any book. Then again, my father and I had always been very close, united by our common interest in biology, which I had been fascinated by at a young age.

“I just,” I began, searching for the right words. “I wanted to say that I understand if you’re disappointed in my decision, but I don’t see entering in the Selection as something that will set me back in any way.”

“Evalin,” he stated, stopping the speech I had mentally been preparing in its tracks. “I’m not disappointed in you. I couldn’t be prouder of you.”

I furrowed my brows. This certainly had not been the response I was expecting from him.

“You have your entire life ahead of you, and there will be plenty of time for you to complete your education. There hasn’t been a Selection in half a century, so it’s arguably a once in a lifetime opportunity. Therefore, if you truly want to do it, you should do it.”

I was practically beaming as I walked around the desk to hug my father, who had stood up as I walked towards him. Though he wasn’t a particularly emotional man, he was a great hugger, in my opinion, and the scents of home - coffee and hazelnut - always filled my nose when he held me.

I pulled away first, inclining my head towards the door as I said, “I’m dead tired. It’s definitely time for bed.”

He nodded. “You should get some sleep. I have a feeling you’ve got some long days ahead of you.”

“And just when I thought I was finished with a stressful semester,” I replied with a laugh, shaking my head.

“Life goes on,” he stated, following me out of his office and shutting the door behind him. I was about to head towards my bedroom when he place his hand on my shoulder. “And Evalin? No matter what happens, you’re going to do great things. Don’t forget that.”

I nodded, looking over my shoulder and offering him a small smile. “Thanks.”

With that, he nodded once and turned on his heel, heading off to the master bedroom at the other end of the hallway. His words echoed in my head as I made my way towards my own room, which was still aglow with the light of Lydia’s desk lamp. I hope I am able to do great things, I thought, pausing at the doorway of my bedroom. Being a part of the Selection would be a great thing, for sure.

All I could do after submitting my form tomorrow, until the Selected girls were announced, was hope that by some miracle, I was chosen. Maybe dreams would come true, after all. Maybe it was my turn to have a love story to tell my children one day. Maybe, just maybe, this unforeseen opportunity was the greatest gift I had ever been given.