#Both for motivation; it’s a good song; and it’s very upbeat!

[jasonfunderberkerthefrogexists]

Jason I only had two hours of sleep and when i woke up the sun had come up does god hate me

For what it’s worth, I don’t think god hates you and I certainly don’t ☺️ two hours of sleep will always be better than none and I hope the rest of your day significantly improved, friend! Please get a nap/a good night’s sleep tonight and remember: you’re worth the effort it takes to care for a human body and the world is better with you in it! 🥰🐸

[powerpuffobsession]

Am I the only one who feels that Hazbin Hotel's overall vibe is far too naive and upbeat for an adult cartoon about hell and redemption of sinners?

I feel like before writing this cartoon, Vivzie and the other writers should have made a trip to unfortunate areas of the world and watch how the lifestyle there rolls. Because hell is said to be a place of misery, where there is no trust and a lot of hate, both internal and external... Adam is an object of pure unfiltered hartred (both from writers and fandom) because he dares to live in heaven, such a safe and friendly-natured place...

And yet the sinners who happen to be main characters act more like school kids on a field trip (even more carefree than those, lol) - their selfish and sinful motives are so artificial and are brought up only when these characters need to look like a victim, not like criminals who somehow deserved a place in hell

Obviously, it's a manipulative trope to put them in a better light than Heaven and Adam (who is forever silenced by the writers and not allowed to voice any thoughts and reflections other than "hurr durr murder I luuuv murdering and being evil because that's what I was since I was born, even though Lilith and Eve, born literally the same way as me, were innocent victims from the get go, and no logical explanation for that will be provided whatsoever - men bad, women good")

In the light of all that, the sinners are too eager to trust each other and form "da epic powar of friendship" mlp-sonic-style

In a society built on terror, anarchy and survival instincts, no one would ever bother wasting vital power on noticing someone's problems and helping them out. Everyone is focused on their own problems and desires, and that's what drives them to act. Well, the exception may be family members, and even that varies

That's why Husk's intent to comfort Angel after the later attacks him over nothing at the bar, looks really fake, considering the setting. At first I thought that "loser baby" where Husk insults Angel, was some sort of revenge and Husk laughing in the spider's face. But no, it actually turned out to be a comforting song that started their friendship. Husk literally had no motivation to want to help Angel, because he was annoyed by him all the time prior. If there was some kind of basis for their bonding, I would have believed it. But not like this.

And Angel had no reason to actually like that sort of comfort. I get it when your best friend or a family member cheers you up in a harsh way - you know them. And even when coming from people you trust that can hurt. Now imagine a complete stranger doing that to you. That's actually something that shouldn't be done - trying to playfully insult or jester a person you haven't communicated with for a long enough time to gain their trust. And to make this even more strange, Angel at first reacts negatively, but then suddenly snaps to liking that disrespectful way of comforting for no reason at all.

And why did Angel even vent his problems to Husk, a stranger bartender who he'd hurt before. Wasn't he actually afraid of being laughed at and of Husk using his trauma to spread gossip around or something?

Next, Sir Pentious. In the pilot (which is officially part of canon, mind you), he already felt like a joke sunday cartoon villain, but at least he had some edge to him that made him look like a sinner with some dark history. In the series however, he gets nerfed the very moment he steps into the hotel to the point where it's painful to look at

His tendency to abuse his henchmen, his physopathic demeanor, his hartred for Cherri (instead of embarrassing attempts to get blue balled by her), his sincere power hunger - where did all that go? Vanished in a blink of an eye. All that's left of a promising snake demon is a pile of fanservice. So morally unchallenging and harmless that a viewer theoretically simply cannot resist loving him

Well i'm kind disappointed. We don't even know in what way Sir Pentious had to improve, because the plot never focused on his past, his life goals, whatever made him want to lead turf wars and whatever awful things he did in life, what was the point where he started degrading... none of that. He just became a better person after one "sorry song" and acted perfectly innocent ever since and didnt put any effort into getting ready to sacrifice himself for other main characters

The sacrifice... to me it's baffling how fast the sinners, over the course of just 6 months, actually became Charlie's family figures and risked their lives for her hotel. Such pure child-cartoon-styled power of friendship, built in hell, with the aid of a princess who cant even think through her project of helping sinners without bringing them more trouble... realistically, Charlie would have had to fight angels alone (how convenient it is that no main characters died in that chaotic brawl, right?)

And Charlie herself is far too naiive and soft-natured for someone who is free to walk along the streets of hell looking at all the muder, rape and othe horrible stuff that's happening there. Given that she's 200, Charlie had more than enough time to built up her street smarts and guts and learn to be more practical and mindful, instead of staying with the mind of a 12 year old who needs other characters to do everything for her (Lucifer, Vaggie, Alastor) and then get praised for THEIR efforts. That's hell's royalty and our main character?

Aaand since sinners are portrayed as Charlie's "people" (as if they are a nationality), sweet babies who all deserve redemption and are called innocent by Emily (I can't believe how dumb the writers made angels be) - the true essence of exterminatons is never focused on. Adam and his exterminator army are seen in the wrong, like some kind of monsters who terrorize poor souls. However, think about this - child molesters, rapists, torturers, bullies, nazists, actual racists etc died in those exterminations. Doesnt that seem like something a lot of us would want? To have scum like this disappear as revenge for people they have hurt/driven to suicide?

Exterminations are not really an act of racism, bigotry or something like that. They are an excecution of criminals, which a lot of sinners are.

But the black and white writing is trying to conceal that rather prominent highlight of the rotten part of Charlie's plan (not all sinners deserve mercy or redemption). All that was needed was to make exterminators these icky "villains" who luuuv killing and are never willing to listen

All in all, a cartoon that has an ambitious premise that should be driven by psychological reasearch/analysis and dark serious themes... makes me roll my eyes with its cliche use of "power of friendship" and " strictly good main characters, strictly bad villains" tropes. Too bad such beautiful animation was wasted on such juvenile writing that never had any effort put into it

There shouldn't even be any villains or heroes in a setting like this. Allow the lead roles (sinners in hell) do something actually questionable and be unlikable, don't coddle the viewer in fear of making them even the slightest bit uncomfortable. Allow those, who opposes sinmers, have personalities and reasons, not cliche sociopathy for sociopathy's sake to cause forced sympathy for the main characters

Pristine "safe" writing should not have a place in adult cartoons. Or else they will stay a product that'd rather be watched by 7-14 year olds instead of adults (I can't picture a single adult over 22 who would unironically call hazbin hotel a show that tackles realistic issues in an observant way)

[cherryredstars]

1k Prompts

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x gn!reader

Warnings: Consumption on Alcohol

Summary: Drinks and tosses.

A/N: Finally!!! The last 1K Prompt LMAO (It's been three months). Requested by @mothmothmothmothmothmoth

Word Count: 945 (Not Edited)

It’s more out of obligation than willingness.

Neither of you really wanted to go, that much was obvious by the way you stayed at your table the entire time. But it would be impolite to not attend a comrade’s wedding, especially when said comrade went out of his way to personally give the invitations to you. It wouldn’t look too good on either of you as higher ranked soldiers. Throughout the night, your only quote of motivation was: It’ll boost morale and camaraderie!

Your eyes slowly pull away from the newlywed couple’s first dance at the sound of ice hitting a glass as it was set on the table. Your head turns first, then your eyes as it falls to the amber liquid. You raise a brow as you look up, meeting Ghost’s eyes. For the occasion, he has decided to leave his mask and balaclava at home. In its place is a simple, black surgical mask. His hair is slightly ruffled from the amount of times he ran his hands through it, and his eyes yell about his tiredness. 

You turn back to the dancing couple, taking your own sip of your alcoholic drink that you’ve been nursing. Even with the dim lighting, you can see the way they cling on to each other. They’re lips are moving, whispering words they can only hear. They turn and the bride’s face is the only one visible to you. Her husband leans in, and she smiles widely as she snickers. 

It makes you want to smile a little bit, too. 

“How long do you think before they file for divorce?”

Or not.

You clear your throat as you set your drink down, turning to him with the unexpected question still hanging in the air. Ghost seems unbothered, drinking down his liquor as he watches the couple. You turn back to them just as the song fades away. People begin to clap as they pull away from each other, and the music changes to something more upbeat as the couple return to their table. Their best man begins to make a mini speech once they are seated.

“I give it… five months. One year max.”

You and Ghost both look towards the speaker, but the both of you aren’t listening. Your brows furrow and your eyes drift to the couple. They are hunched towards each other, talking and sharing small smiles. They look happy. 

“They seem happy. You can see that they love each other very much.” You reply back, picking up your drink once again for a sip. 

“They all do in the beginning.” Ghost grumbles as he sets his empty glass down. 

As far as you know, Ghost has never been married. You’re not even sure if he’s ever had a serious relationship before. This weird animosity he has towards weddings is… unsettling for a lack of a better word. You shift in your seat, sighing as you cross your leg over the other. 

“Isn’t there a rule against this type of thing during weddings? Are you allowed to talk about divorce at weddings or is that bad luck?” You tease him, turning subtly to him when the best man stops speaking. 

Ghost turns to you with a small smirk, “Not that I know of.” 

You hum, moving to stand up. Ghost’s eyes watch you, and you show him your empty glass. “Care to come with me for a refill?”

The bar isn’t busy, and the bartender is quick to refill your respective drinks. Both of you lean with your backs against the bar, people watching. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. It’s cozy, the wedding. You can tell how much time and effort was put into every detail. 

You’re pulled away from the scene by a blinding light flashing beside you. It catches both you and Ghost by surprise. When you turn, you see a hired photographer looking down at their new shot, not even glancing back at the two of you before walking away. You can feel your skin heat up, and you hope the picture doesn’t look bad. If it is, you hope your comrade doesn’t ever give you a copy of it. 

Commotion in the front draws your attention to the dance floor again. The bride and groom are preparing to do their respective, traditional tosses. The best man speaks into the microphone, calling all the singles to the dance floor. You have a small smile on your face as you watch friends drag each other onto the dance floor, setting your drink down on the bar counter to cross your arms. However, you tumble forward. You turn your head in shock, and Ghost smirks lazily at you. You’re about to scold him, but one of the other soldiers sees you, playfully dragging you with them to the crowd. You turn back to Ghost as you go, glaring at him. He simply shrugs as he sips his drink. 

You huff out as you face forward again, pressed between different bodies as they prepare to catch. You stand by idly, deciding you weren’t going to try and let the others have their fun. But, it seems like the world has other plans for you. You half pay attention as the object is tossed into the air, your eyes widening when it goes straight for you. It’s instinctual when you catch it, cheeks burning as the crowd hollers in excitement for you. Amongst the crowd, you can hear the groom laugh and yell out: Make sure to invite all of us to the wedding, Sarg!

Back over at the bar, Simon smiles around the rim of his glass. 

Maybe weddings aren’t so bad, after all.

[polaroid-sorcery]

Hazbin Hotel and Tangled the series parallels

・Charlie / Rapunzel

Both Charlie and Rapunzel have a generally very positive attitude. They are friendly and always try to see the good in people. For Charlie, she’s all about second chances and redemption. For Rapunzel, she always tries to help everyone. Also, Charlie and Rapunzel aren’t one to back down from a fight. They are brave and go against injustice.

Personalities aside, both of them are princesses. Charlie is the daughter of Lucifer and the princess Hell. Rapunzel is the daughter of the King and Queen, which makes her the princess of Corona.

Beside their titles, we cannot deny the similarities in appearance. They both have long blonde hair and wear it in almost exactly the same way. Only Charlie’s hair isn’t as long as Rapunzel’s when it’s not put together in the braid-hairstyle-thingy.

・Vaggie / Cassandra

Personally, I think the biggest similarity between Vaggie and Cassandra is the secret-keeping part of their story.

Vaggie is revealed to be an angel who has fallen from grace.

Cassandra is revealed to be the daughter of Gothel.

Though their secrets have nothing in common, it’s not so much about the actual secret than it is about the way they handle the secret. Vaggie never told Charlie about the fact that she was an angel and part of the exterminations. Cassandra didn’t know she was Gothel’s daughter for the majority of her life and after she does find out she doesn’t tell Rapunzel. She keeps it a secret until the final moment when she takes charge of her own destiny.

So yes, the secrets are different, the reveal of the secrets is different too, but the fact they both keep a secret from their blonde (girl)friend stays the same.

・Lucifer / Varian

The most obvious similarity is, of course, the voice actor. Lucifer and Varian are both voiced by the talented Jeremy Jordan.

One of the easy to spot parallels is the character introduction. Both characters are introduced in a suspenseful way. Meant to intimidate the viewer, only for it to show the actual character a few seconds later, which turns out to be a dorky inventor.

When we are introduced to Lucifer, the music is a tad menacing and the whole shot tries to be dark and mysterious, like the all-powerful Lucifer, only to show him being proud of his rubber duckie, completely shattering expectations for this dark entity. Varian is introduced in a very similar way. He is presented as this threatening figure, only to reveal he’s just a 14-year-old who cares about science (alchemy, specifically)

On top of that, Lucifer and Varian are both inventors. Lucifer spends his time creating rubber duckies. Anyone who knows Varian, knows inventions aren’t his main thing. He’s all about the science of things, alchemy is his speciality. Still, Varian did recreate the automatons and made other machines across the series.

・Ready For This / Ready As I’ll Ever Be / Through It All

All three songs have the same core: a song to get ready for battle, but all three go about it differently. Ready For This and Through It All match the most. Both songs are upbeat songs meant to rally the troops. At this point in the story the characters are getting ready to face a threat and spreading motivation.

Charlie is actively gathering souls to fight with her against the Extermination, whereas Rapunzel is trying to lift everyone’s spirits before they leave to go to the castle.

Ready As I’ll Ever Be still matches in terms of its core: prepare for battle, but goes about it in a different way. Both Ready For This and Through It All are songs sung by the protagonist with a large ensemble to back them up as the song progresses. Ready As I’ll Ever Be is sung from different perspectives from different characters: Varian, Cassandra, Rapunzel, King Frederic. Only towards the end everyone harmonises because they all have one thing in common: they are ready as they’ll ever be to face whatever the opponent throws at them. But still, each character has a different motivation to fight. Honestly, I could go on and on about how great of a song this is, but then this post would get way too long.

・Destiny

A big part of the plot of Tangled the series revolves around destiny, especially in the second and third season it discusses Rapunzel’s destiny a lot. For most of season three the plot is all about destiny. Cassandra’s turn to the dark side, Zhan Tiri being brought back to life, the final battle. It’s all connected to the concept of destiny and how Rapunzel has to be the one to end it.

Hazbin Hotel doesn’t have the same focus on destiny like Tangled the series. Instead, it is only referenced in passing and not part of any discussion (if I remember correctly)

Here are some examples of talk about destiny in Hazbin Hotel songs:

Mentioned in Happy Day In Hell:

“Uh no thank you, I’m just gonna fulfill my destiny!”

Mentioned in Ready For This:

“I can come into my own, and I think I’ve always known my destiny could never be postponed”

[definedbydaylight]

“It’ll Be The Last Time” - Matty Healy x F!Reader

Part 3

Masterlist: .°˖✧ Word Count: 2341 Warnings: angst, angst, and more angst, this whole series will have so much angst, also alcohol, smoking, drug use/mentions and a little smut as a treat xx also if you think any of my fics will include an accurate timeline of real life events then you're on crack

Series Summary: “You’ve known Matty since you were 14 and the boy has never failed to get on your last nerve, but over the years you two end up having unexplainable moments where you can’t help but feel you two are connected in a way you’ll never feel with anyone else, until one night he tells you something that may change how you view the boy forever…”

January 13th 2011

It's almost midnight and you're about to give a small speech in honor of the album, you're off to the side of the DJ Booth with Kelsey and the boys, well all except for Matty who still hasn't said a word to you in the hour that he's been here, you're both thankful and a little disappointed. Ross rubs your shoulders as Kels gives you the traditional best friend motivation spiel, you can't help but smile as you take in all the love and support from your favorite people, just as she finishes the DJ fades the music out and introduces you to the crowd, it's your turn to take the stage, as you walk on and take the mic your group cheers loudly.

"Haha yes thank you. Um, hello! I'm y/n l/n and I'm sorry to the club goers who are about to be subjected to my sad music, I promise some of them have at least an upbeat tune, and it's good music, well I think so anyway, some may say otherwise-"

"IT'S FUCKIN BRILLIANT!" George yells from the side.

"Oh lord, that's my dear friend George so he's a little biased, but thank you love. Anyway this album means a lot to me really, it's a collection of very personal songs, some that I've been working on probably years now. A lot of teenage angst went into this album which I think you'll be able to tell, and uhh, god I'm actually so nervous." You try to take even breaths as the crowd cheers you on.

"Right, so as a surprise I'm actually going to be performing my personal favorite song on the album, which I actually began writing at 18 and have been tweaking over the years, George the lovely fellow actually did the drums on this song cause I knew I wanted a good percussion track. Give him a round of applause as well." You pause and clap along with everyone else looking at him, he gives a small wave as you introduce the song. "Anyway this is Decode off of With Your Permission."

George enters the stage and takes a seat at the drums as the guitar starts you in, you look up to the crowd and make direct eye contact with Matty who stands perfectly centered in the small crowd, arms still tightly wrapped around the girl he brought, you feel your stomach turn.

How can I decide what's right? When you're clouding up my mind I can't win your losing fight All the time-

The crowd actually goes wild at the beginning of the song, the song which you'd been so worried no one would like or understand, but they're actually loving it. The confidence builds up inside you as you continue singing, Matty has stopped looking at you as this point and is violently making out with the girl as you approach your best verse, the verse about him.

-The truth is hiding in your eyes And it's hanging on your tongue Just boiling in my blood-

You're staring at him as he looks up at the perfect time for the song to make an impact on him.

-But you think that I can't see What kind of man that you are If you're a man at all Well, I will figure this one out

On my own (I'm screaming, I love you so) On my own (But my thoughts you can't decode)-

Kelsey is going crazy screaming along because of course you showed your best friend the songs beforehand, you'd never put anything out without her approval, her opinion is the only one in the world that really matters, the drum line intensifies as you begin to finish out the song.

-There is something I see in you It might kill me, I want it to be true

You're done and the crowds is cheering non-stop, George jumps up from his spot and rushes over scooping you up in his arms, he gives your cheek a kiss as he spins you around, soon Kelsey, Ross and Adam have also joined you on stage in a giant group hug of praise.

You're laughing as you try to bring the mic back up to your mouth. "And these are my amazing best friends, as you can see I have a wonderful support system, thank you all for listening, here is the rest of With Your Permission!" The DJ starts the next track as you all exit the stage.

You're all making your way over to your seating area, fresh drinks waiting for you at the table, but so is someone.

"Good performance, interesting song choice." Matty speaks up from his seat, the girl he was with nowhere to be seen.

"Thanks." Is all you can manage to say, George's arm around your waist tightens ready to defend you if he said anything rude.

"I got you a dirty shirley." Matty uses the tips of his fingers to push it towards you as you take a seat. "Still your favorite right?"

You give him a small smile, his tone sounds almost sad, but kind. "Always will be."

The rest of your friends sit, you've ended up between Matty and Kelsey in the rounded booth, and the conversation starts up easily. It feels like no time has passed when you're all together, like no matter what happens between anyone, the group will survive. Adam says something about some guy who he noticed has been pacing the bar back and forth hitting on every girl he can, and everyone laughs, noticing all his failed attempts. Matty adjusts his sitting position and his thigh rubs against yours and you take a sharp breath in at the close contact, no one really notices, no one except Matty of course who's turned to look at you, you can't help but look back at him.

He smiles at you. "So Decode?"

"Oh lord, not this." You laugh a little and put your face in your hands.

"No, no, it's good, bloody brilliant really. I reckon it'll be stuck in my head for a few weeks." He sounds flirty, and with all the alcohol in your system you can't really help but enjoy it.

"Yea?" George speaks up from the other end of the booth. "You should really listen to Under The Table, haven't gotten it out of my head since I first heard it."

"Ross has had to deal with me constantly playing the Like Real People do track you sent me on repeat for the last month, absolutely my favorite!" Kelsey gushes to you.

"Personally I say How Do I Tell You? is the best but I might be biased cause I helped with the guitar on it." Adam pipes in as well.

You smile big at all your friends singing their praise for your music.

"You've all heard them before?" Matty asks, sounding a little hurt.

Summer 2006:

It's a cold night, you've got a thick black cardigan wrapped around you as you sit on your front steps, smoking a joint you'd swiped from George the last time you'd seen him, which had been a while ago now. A few weeks after the party you two had decided to call off your situationship, nothing bad it was mutual, you both decided the weird tension the whole party ordeal had caused was too much, he was still one of your best friends. Everyone had staged a makeshift "intervention" for you, George and Matty to get over the whole thing, and it had gone surprisingly well, well enough that you were actually sat waiting for Matty to pick you up for a party. Kelsey had taken Ross on a trip with her family to Ireland, Adam was visiting with his dad's side of the family, and George had gone to California with his, so you and Matty had been trying to fill the gaps in your social life together.

You finish the joint as you see Matty's van pull up outside, you toss the end of the joint down and stub it out with your boot as you stand up making your way around the car to the passenger side, you hop in and Matty is looking at you with a huge grin on his face.

You look at him weird and laugh. "What's with the serial killer smile?"

"I have a surprise for you, but you have to wait till the party." He says turning forward and pulling out of your driveway as you buckle yourself in.

"Honestly terrified of what you have up your sleeve." You try to reach forward to change the radio station but Matty smacks your hand.

"Hey! Anyway you shouldn't be scared, in fact you should be kissing my fucking ass." He smirks still watching the road.

"Oh yeah?" You ask, raising an eyebrow. "And why is that Matthew?"

"Well you see June Bug." You groan at the nickname. "I happen to get my hands on something you've been dying to try."

You whip your head towards him, eye wide. "No! No you did not! Don't lie to me right now, I will be so mad if you're messing with me."

"Glove compartment." He winks at you.

You don't waste a second, you quickly open the compartment and resting inside on top of random papers and a car manual is a small baggie with white powder inside, you squeal and try to reach for it as Matty smacks your hand again.

"I said to wait till we're at the party!" He says seriously.

"But whyyyyy?" You whine.

"Cause it'll be your first time and I need to make sure we're safe before you ingest a drug you've never tried before."

You roll your eyes at him. "Don't say that like it's not your first time too."

"Well, actually-" He starts.

"Matthew Timothy Healy! You promised we'd try it together!" You pull out the puppy dog eyes.

"Listen love, I needed to make sure it wasn't janky coke, I didn't want it to kill you or something, needed to know what we were getting into so I could be sure you'd be okay." You smile at that.

"Oh Matty." You say leaning your head on his shoulder. "Always my knight in shining armor, the man who cares about me the most."

"Oh fuck off." He laughs, shrugging you off his shoulder.

He parks the car down a side street and grabs the baggie before you two make your way into the party, not one of Josh's this time, but a friend of his that he'd invited you both to, who also happened to live in a GIANT house, bigger than Matty's even. You both opt to do shots before anything else, you mention needing to be intoxicated to deal with the awful choice of music, Matty smiles and agrees with you taking your hand and dragging you to the kitchen to find something.

After a few vodka shots he grabs a 6 pack of ciders and you both made your way to one of the, what you assume is, many bathrooms, you enter and lock the door setting up camp for the events that are about to take place. You crack open two ciders as Matty sets up two lines on the counter and rolls up a one pound note.

"Okay so basically-" He starts to explain.

"I know how to do it Matty, we've seen it in movies plenty of times." You interrupt.

"Right, sorry I forgot movies are the best form of education, miss know-it-all, but whatever there is one thing you need to know, the drip back is awful so prepare for a bad taste in the back of your throat." He then takes his line and tilts his head back.

He hands the rolled up note to you and presents the line to you like an absolute dork, you turn to the counter and take your turn, tilting your head back afterwards like he had. He was right, the taste was god awful, but the feeling overshadowed the taste, you turn to him eyes wide.

"Holy fuck." Is all you say and he starts laughing. "No I'm serious Matthew this is fucking awesome."

"Yea?" He asks, smiling at you.

"Yes, god I could kiss you right now." You laugh.

He just stares at you smiling, and you can't help but smile at him even larger, you're both just sitting on the bathroom floor now, staring and giggling at each other, smiles never leaving your faces. You both take another line and afterwards you reach for a second cider, you drink trying to wash the taste out and some of it drips down the side of your mouth, as you set the can down Matty's hand comes up to your face to wipe off the liquid, his thumb slightly touches the corner of your mouth and it's like the same switch had been flipped as it had at the dance.

In seconds you two are on each other like rabbits in heat, but it's not fast paced, in fact it's almost antagonizing how slow it is, but it's amazing nonetheless, like if what you felt with him the first time you kissed times ten. Your mouths moved in perfect sync, the taste of his tongue on yours was almost as addicting if not more than the high you both had. He quickly scoops you up and sets you up on counter and pulls you forward so your bodies are flush against one another, one hand now on you jaw as his other has made its way up your leg and under your skirt, his thumb rubbing at your inner thigh, you can feel the wetness pooling in your underwear as he pulls away to breath.

"Fuck- Matty." You whine.

"Yea baby? What do you want?" He asks, his lips making their way to the crook of your neck.

"You, want you." Your hand tugs on his curls and he moans.

His hand toys with the edge of your underwear as he speaks. "Then have me June Bug."

Part 4 (coming soon-ish)

a/n: whelp here it is, sorry for the smut tease i couldn't help it, i promise the next part will have actual smut, anyway past Matty and reader have reconciled! but future Matty and reader are still iffy but who knows?? huh? anyway a chapter to end the night xx

[morrisharding]

" I don't see why I need a stylist, When I shop so much I can speak Italian" KaneYeWest's Graduation is a classic and timeless album that puts the whole world in a trance. This is definitely at the top of my list for favourite Kanye albums and possibly number 1. It is just such a fun, creative and exciting album for many reasons. Graduation is Kanye's third studio album released on September 11th of 2007. When it was released it gained 957,00 first-week sales and debuted at number one on the US Billboard 200 which resulted in his highest-grossing album at the time. It ended up winning 4 Grammys in 2008 which were Best Rap Album (Graduation), Best Rap Song (Cant Tell Me Nothing), Best Rap Performance by a duo or Group (Good Life) and Best Rap Solo Performance (Stronger).

When I was in grade school Songs like Stronger, Good Life, Champion, Can't Tell Me nothing, Flashing Lights ect were being played everywhere. When I say everywhere, I mean the mall, radio stations, grocery stores, TV shows, movies and so many more public places. The song that appealed the most to me was Stronger as it was just such a powerful song. " Now that-that-that-that that don't kill me can only make me stronger" was the one line I can remember always being sung and it Would make me feel focused and determined whenever I was playing a sport or working out. The drums and synthesizers are what really had me going as they were boomy and very upbeat. Also, the lyrics were all motivational and would put me in a GO mode mindset. My dad used to play this song all the time when he was at the gym so it got stuck in my head and I started loving that song. From then on I would hear Kanye's name from time to time as he was always being talked about. He was one of the biggest artists at the time and family and friends loved listening to his music.

Something about The cover art for this album is what makes me enjoy it even more. It looks like he used every colour in a rainbow to make the cover art as it is just so vibrant and beautiful. There aren't many albums these days where artists put a lot of effort into the cover art as the music industry is just seeming to get lazy as the years go by. The bear that is flying on the cover is supposed to be a representation of Kanye as he is graduating from school and leading towards a new life and a new chapter of music since this was the third and final album of the higher education trilogy. Graduation is definitely at the top of my list of favourite album covers and I have been trying to find a Graduation poster for so long to put up in my room but it seems like they are so rare to find.

Looking back at this album 16 years later I can honestly say I have never seen an album more fun and kid-friendly but so well made lyrically and productively that any audience would have been astonished by how remarkable it was. I am still amazed to this day at how he created such an album only a couple of years into his career. It's an album that I have so much appreciation for as it really changed the music culture. Rap culture before the release of Graduation was very much still old-school rap as rappers like Jay Z, Eminem, Outkast, Nas and more were still releasing music but nothing more than just the regular old-school rap lyrics and beats. Graduation brought a mix of both Hip-Hop and Rap into one album and was blended with exquisite taste. Instead of Kanye's previous soul-based sound he progressed to more anthemic compositions and found a way to conjoint them together without failing to please his audience. As one I can say I was certainly not displeased with this album as it stuck to me as soon as I heard just a few songs off of it.

I could go on and talk about this album for hours on how good it is so I hope to those who read this blog that you go to spotify right now and put on some Kanye West and I promise you that you will be amazed by this man's creativity.

[adagioapassionato]

Thinking about...D-Day by Agust D.

With his third album, ‘D-Day’, Agust D critiques today’s society and calls for a new age where we liberate ourselves from restrictive conventions. He reflects on the information age, the nature of love, his own pain, and ends with messages of hope for his juniors and those he loves with this final solo album before he enlists in the military. I wrote a (very long!) analysis of each track, because Yoongi’s lyrics and musical choices are insightful and convey his thoughts truly and beautifully.

1. D-Day

D-Day creates an upbeat, energetic start to the album. The song, interestingly, is one that is uplifting, motivational and somewhat comforting, but uses strong beats and sounds. It is interesting that the song is called ‘D-Day’, usually synonymous with something dangerous, ominous, or bringing doom – yet, he begins the song with “Future’s gonna be okay,” and “D-Day’s coming, it’s a fucking good day.” His optimism for the future is seen in a wordplay on the lyric, “look at the mirror and I see no pain.” The way he pronounces “mirror” resembles the Korean 미래 (mi-rae, future). Thus, he suggests that he both looks in the mirror, at himself, and feels no pain – he accepts himself; he also looks at the future and feels no pain, he accepts what comes to him on this D-Day. He sees D-Day not as a day of death or pain, but of rebirth – he says, “the stupid past is over now, let’s toast again to us who will be reborn.” He reclaims D-Day as the day we kill hatred for ourselves and learn to accept ourselves as whole. Once we learn not to “regret the past, don’t be afraid of the future”, that’s the day we kill an essentialist notion of ourselves that sees only our flaws and pain. It is with this outlook he begins the album – he looks forward to a future of love, where we bloom as “lotus flowers” even in a world full of hate

2. Haegeum

Haegeum is a multifaceted title track filled with myriad meanings. Haegeum is a Korean instrument, but is also a word that suggests lifting a ban on something that was previously forbidden. Another more literal interpretation I found as a Korean learner was 해 + 금, where 해 (hae) means ‘sun’, and 금 (geum) means ‘gold’. The title of this song thus suggests the sun rising over a new golden age, where Yoongi is “liberated from the forbidden”, in his own words. With this song, he rejects the state of the world today and the stereotypes that are forced onto him in an extremely interesting way.

Reflecting on ‘Daechwita’, the title track of his previous album ‘D-2’, I could immediately see its similarities with Haegeum. The title tracks both heavily feature themes of Korean culture. ‘Daechwita’ is a genre of Korean music, but also means “a big blow,” which fits perfectly with its theme of speaking out against the criticism and backlash Yoongi receives as an idol. The title of this song features a wordplay similar to Haegeum’s – while at first glance appearing to describe Korean music, they also suggest Yoongi’s intentions and message for the song.

Haegeum is generally very similar in sound to Daechwita, but presents almost an opposite theme. With Daechwita, Yoongi sets himself apart. He describes, through the song, his rise to success. He emphasises his effort and struggles to reach where he is, and distance himself from those who criticise and hate him without reason. He also showcases such a theme in the music video – he portrays himself as a king with a scar, typically not someone who would have been allowed to rule in Korea. Thus, he rose to success and power despite his differences and hardships.

Haegeum, however, brings Yoongi back to his roots. He is no longer a king, and in the music video, even portrays himself as a criminal who kills a version of himself in a position of power (this time, a policeman). In the song, he says “this lively rhythm”, whose Korean tones are similar to Daechwita’s, “is a new kind of Haegeum.” He thus restyles and reforms ‘Daechwita,’ which reinforced his success and position as an idol, into a rejection of the very conventions that define and restrain him. The music video mirrors this by showing typically taboo, mature themes, resembling an action movie. A scene he pointed out was of him smoking – something typically looked down on for idols like him, but he rejects things that are supposedly ‘forbidden’ for him as he accepts a new style and era for himself.

Generally, Yoongi seems to be tired of the ‘information age’ today. He sees this as something that constrains and restricts us. It forces people into constant purposeless debate and controversy online, and this excess of information makes it difficult to make a clear judgement about what you truly believe in. He tries to determine the source of this restriction – why are we so bound to money, hatred, prejudice and validation? Is it possible that we put ourselves in this position? He recognises the dangers of this dependence and how fickle opinions and discourse are in this sea of information. He thus uses the song to advocate for a new age – one where we reject what restricts us, where we speak for what we believe in and do not pointlessly spew hatred or create baseless debates and discourse. In this way, he once again looks toward a better future, a new golden age, filled with more realism and less superficial tendencies.

3. HUH?! (ft. j-hope)

The third track, featuring BTS member j-hope, continues these themes of rejection and annoyance, this time, addressing people who constantly have something to say about things that have nothing to do with them.

This song starts out like a typical ‘diss track’ – Yoongi asserts that the people who hate him in fact desperately want to be like him. They know nothing about him and claim to hate him so much, yet they’re ‘all about him’ – after all, it takes energy to consistently seek someone out and openly dislike them. He suggests that they’re wasting time and ruining their lives focusing all their energy on spewing hate. He asserts to them, “the Internet world and reality are quite different” – a common theme in discourse online today, where often, people who spend too much time online seem to have lost the ability to detect nuance and critically think and understand the things happening around them.

j-hope’s verse on the song responds directly to these people. He repeats the word “huh?” as he asks them about the things they think, do and say towards him. He seems to question them – with a casual tone of confusion when he says “huh?” again and again, he shuts down people who critique his every move and want him to engage with them, showing that he can’t understand their obsession with him, and is too nonchalant to care.

The theme of the ‘information age’ recurs in these first three tracks. Yoongi suggests that the sea of information around us hinders us from recognizing and critiquing structures of oppression like capitalism, which he explicitly mentions in ‘Haegeum’. Through his anger, though, he still wishes such people well – “If reality is a gutter, get out of it/I pray that even you’ll do well,” and hopes that they will grow from these habits.

4. AMYGDALA

AMYGDALA is a painfully emotional and reflective track. The amygdala is the part of the brain that processes fear and anger. With this song, Yoongi reflects on particularly painful situations in his life and wonders if he made the right choice. The lyrics and sound of the song perfectly describe his turbulent mental state and mirror the all-too-familiar feeling of such a breakdown.

The song opens with Yoongi’s voice laid bare accompanied only by the guitar, as he says, “I don’t know your name/Travelling through my memories.” The hypnotic sounds he uses to produce his vocals give off the feeling of being alone and lost in his mind, sifting through his memories in a void all alone. After this, he begins rapping, describing events like his mother’s heart surgery – he truly travels through his memories, and as he does, the music speeds up as does his flow. His thoughts are racing as he sifts through his memories and re-analyses the pain he felt again and again.

The pre-chorus, with the lines “The best choice/the choices of next lanes/choice, choice, choose the lines,” are pronounced similarly in Korean (최선들의 선택/다음 차선들의 선택/차차 선들의 선택, 선택, 선택) (choiseondeur-ui seontaek/daeum chaseondeur-ui seontaek/chacha seondeur-ui seontaek, seontaek, seontaek). This shows how he is oscillating between the past and the future: he thinks about the best choice he made in the past, the choices he should make in the future, all while stuck in a thought process that seems to sound the same to an outsider – but really, he shifts back and forth between his memories and where he is today.

The chorus reaches the peak of this buildup – he almost screams the lyrics, “My amygdala/My amygdala/Come on save me/My amygdala/My amygdala/Hurry up and get me out of here.” He seems to have reached the peak of losing himself in this madness, as though his mind is about to explode with these thoughts, shown by the peaking of the mic as he screams, but the auto-tune shows that even his screams are suppressed. He begs to feel any emotion, he begs the fear and pain that these memories should induce in him to come back and shock him out of reliving these experiences. With this song, he opens up his deepest emotions and memories, perfectly capturing the pain of reliving traumatic events and wondering how you reached your current point in life, and if things would be different had you made a different choice

5 &6. SDL and People Pt. 2 (ft. IU)

I grouped these songs together in my analysis because they are auditorily and structurally very similar. Additionally, they resonate with me a lot as someone who has often experienced loneliness and as someone on the aromantic spectrum.

Both songs first tackle the difficulty of defining the world love. “This thing called love/Maybe it’s just a fleeting list of emotions” (People Pt. 2), alongside “Who else are you smiling for?/ Who do you cry for?/Could this be love?” (SDL) Yoongi examines how glorified the word ‘love’ has become in our society. It is difficult to understand what love truly is when we place so much value on romantic love and create so many expectations surrounding it. Thus, Yoongi asks in People Pt. 2, “Is love wholly perfect on its own?” Such questions are common for arospec people. Due to society’s conceptions of grandeur surrounding romantic love, the depth and strength this feeling is supposed to create, we often are confused if we experience any love at all, since we do not identify with the conventional descriptions of such love shown in media. We wonder if it’s just something fleeting that is meant to pass by us unnoticed, and we will never get to experience this grand feeling. Indeed, Yoongi recognises this too in SDL – “Thanks to the grandeur of the word love/What is easily forgotten is called love.” He suggests that by placing so much expectation and worth on grandiose depictions of love, we lose sight of the love that we can feel for simple, small things. And thus, as arospecs learn more about themselves, we recognise that there’s not just one kind of love, and love doesn’t need to be something huge and grand – we can feel it towards anyone and live a satisfying life even if we don’t experience the romantic version of it, or feel it conventionally.

The songs also speak similarly about the difficulty of maintaining close relationships. “Relationships are really difficult/It wasn't right from the start/The gap between the two of us/Trying to narrow it down is unreasonable” (SDL), meanwhile “I want it, a sincere connection with others/Forever’s something like a sandcastle, you know/It comes crumbling down at the calmest of waves” (People Pt. 2). In SDL, Yoongi recognises that, upon revisiting certain relationships, you realise that they were never meant to work anyway, and holding on trying to salvage them is more painful than letting go. Similarly, in People Pt. 2, he describes the hope of ‘forever’ in a relationship as a sandcastle. You can construct a sandcastle so easily on a beach with a sand bucket or even just your hands, but it falls apart due to a wave that you would never expect. Waves and tides, just like time, keep coming and washing away relationships you easily built into sandcastles of forever.

He says, loss is scary to us not because of the loss itself, but rather because being alone is scary. That’s why, to him, life is “a struggle against loneliness” (People Pt. 2). We fight to hold on to relationships we cherish, but that fall away despite our best efforts. The English verses of these songs break grammatical conventions, and seem to describe this fleeting nature of love. “Somebody does love/But I’m thinking about you” (SDL) and “So time is yet now/Right here to go/I know, you know, anything does know.” While SDL seems to compare the love Yoongi sees around him to the relationships he has had in the past, and questions what love really is, People Pt. 2 emphasises living in the now – time is fleeting and always ready to go, and the only time to cherish is now.

Thus, through both songs, Yoongi emphasises that people and relationships are indeed fleeting, so it’s best to cherish what we have in the present.  He urges us not to reduce all our love to “glorified memories” (SDL). He wants us to learn that even though love is fleeting and relationships can be difficult to maintain, we are still “more than enough to be loved (People Pt. 2).” In this way, he assures me that loneliness comes with life and it doesn’t change that I deserve love. He also shows that love need not be something glorious and grand, it can be in the small things and still leave me satisfied, no matter what kind of love I feel.

7. Polar Night

Polar Night was a song that took me some time to interpret and understand. I think Yoongi uses this song to address people who see a polarized, black-and-white world – a world that features their truth as the right one, and anything else as darkness. “I’m not interested in facts, if you’re not on my side”, “If you’re not on my side, you’re my enemies”. He addresses people who advocate strongly only for their own view without seeing a complete perspective. He describes their “selective hypocrisy” and their choice of “interpretation that only suits [their] mood”. He suggests that they advocate for “a cheap justice” that doesn’t actually call for fairness, but only furthers their agendas and positions of power. They thus do not truly understand that the world around them is nuanced – they don’t allow people to speak for themselves and understand other worldviews, as they’re too busy forcing their version of truth onto others.

Indeed, he asks if we truly interpret the world correctly at all when caught up among so many conceptions of truth and lies held by different people. “Between so many truths and so many lies/Are we seeing this world right?” He suggests that there’s nothing true or false at all and no way to push for only one objective truth – we are all under an oppressive system, so none of us are truly the makers of an ultimate, right truth. We all make mistakes and are all caught under oppression, tainted by the tough world that surrounds us – “It is all dirty,” he says, and almost as a hidden, softer afterthought in the backing vocals, he adds, “Am I also clean?” “Are you clean?” Possibly, we are not, as nothing we do under an oppressive system can be truly ‘clean,’ or ‘unethical’. He suggests that we are shaped by the world we live in, which is all ‘dirty’, it’s all dark like a polar night. There is thus no way to call out for your own perspective without placing yourself in the context of the environment that shapes you. Yoongi never answers the questions “Am I also clean?” and “Are you clean?” He ends the song with these questions, leaving us to think over them and about the systems we live in today.

8. Interlude: Dawn

This song seems to pick up where the previous one left off. It is an instrumental that seems to signal the coming of the dawn and the sunrise, with a sound that is very similar to its title. It starts out soft and slow, but has a deep, dreamy aura, as though the sky is just lightening with the first strokes of dawn. As more instruments join in, the song grows louder and crescendos into a rousing theme, as though signaling a sunrise after a “Polar Night.” The image this song created in my mind resembled a timelapse of a polar night of stars over the snow slowly turning into a beautiful sunrise.

9. Snooze (ft. Ryuichi Sakamoto and WOOSUNG)

Snooze seems to lay out Yoongi’s advice as a senior idol to his juniors in the industry, who must go through rigorous training and face the very high expectations of their company and their fans. BTS frequently mentions the theme of dreams in their songs. From beginning with No More Dream and questioning, “what’s your dream?”, urging youngsters to not waste their lives without dreaming of a future, they moved to Paradise, which suggested that a dream need not be something grand – “it can even be what you see in your sleep,” and having no dreams is really okay too. With Snooze, Yoongi brings both these themes together as he addresses young idols from a position of experience. He assures them that while they should dream as they try to make it big as an idol, this is a tough path ridden with struggles. Thus, it is okay to rest, it is okay, “to not even dream” for few moments, as they take a step back from the demanding life path they have chosen.

He explains that though they look up to him, the path of being an idol is rarely easy. He says that criticism is rife in his industry – “when the hand that greeted you turned into a pointing finger.” He provides them with advice from his years in the industry – not to laugh at others’ scandals, not to forget those who eternally support them, and the double-edged sword that success can be. He lets them know that although the road of being an idol is “painful and lonely”, being affected by it is normal, and they deserve to cry, feel the pain that comes with it, and that he will always be there to support them and pray that their dreams come true no matter what they go through. His descriptions of “falling petals” and “flower roads” allude to previous descriptions of BTS as ‘six petals’ by eldest member Jin, who asserts that he holds on to BTS like “six petals.” Yoongi seems to take on this metaphor, suggesting that he holds on to juniors as ‘petals’ – whether they fall or bloom with their dreams, he will support them and cheer them on from his position of experience and love towards what they go through.

Eventually, he assures them, again and again with the repeating words, “Everything will be okay.” The repetition of this line is powerfully comforting – it is a strong reinforcement that even through all their pain, they will survive, and it will all work out at the end. With the final verse, he leaves them with hope – “you will fully bloom after the hardships/Dream/the beginning may be weak, but the end may be great/Dream.” He urges them to keep dreaming, but also ensure that they take time to process the hardships that they will go through. He hopes that at the end of it all, they will finally bloom and reach the heights they wish to. The emotional tones of his rap, laid bare, with no edits as in the first few songs, complement WOOSUNG’s emotional belting voice to beautifully convey this message of love and hope to his juniors.

10. Life Goes On

Life Goes On puts a different spin on the original ‘Life Goes On’ by BTS. The original song was about staying together despite troubling times and difficulties like the pandemic. However, with his version of the song, Yoongi accepts the inevitability of growing apart from someone while still loving them. In a way, this song is possibly his goodbye to BTS and ARMY before he enlists in the military. “Let’s say good bye, not bye, hello/ Even if the world doesn't go my way/Let's count just a few nights as we wish/I'll never forget the day we meet again.” “Time is like a wave/It will be washed away like the ebb/But don't forget to find me.” He accepts that he drifts apart from us and must leave us behind, but he knows that eventually, we will come back together as one. He says, “I've been running like it was the last time but I'm still scared/I know, I know this place right now/A place that will soon become a memory/Don't be afraid until the end of my life/Because life will go on forever.” He thus accepts that although his first 10 years with BTS end, life will go on to bring him to new heights where he will make new memories on his return from the military. He thus ends the album with a hopeful, loving tone with this song, assuring us and his members that life goes on, healing all things at the end.

Yoongi’s albums are always insightful in how they critique today’s society. However, his music is also reassuringly human – by exposing his own vulnerable feelings and thoughts, he provides comfort and understanding of things that many people have experienced and been through. With this album, then, he seems to hope for a new age – he released this as a D-Day, the last day of an old age of being repressed and tied in. With D-Day, he is ready to move forward with hope, be liberated and accept what life brings to him, and urges us to do the same.

References:

D-Day (Album) Lyrics English Translations

[im-sorry-what-ii]

MY THOUGHTS ON HOW THE ORIGINAL SONG TAKE ON ME BY A-HA  AND THE MTV UNPLUGGED VERSION PARALLEL TOP GUN AND TOP GUN MAVERICK (blame @blazingstar29 for enabling me)

more under the cut bc its a bit long🫠

ok we all know take on me right? the upbeat 1985 song with the really cool music video. iconic. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djV11Xbc914&ab_channel=a-ha)

right so five years ago a-ha did an mtv unplugged version which i advise you to listen to bc its so inCREDIBLY GOOD I CANNOT. it takes every thing that makes the og song perfect and twists it into something that captures the essence of the original but mature and sad, like looking back at the past. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xKM3mGt2pE&ab_channel=ahaVEVO)

so

my reasons for why the og 1985 version parallels top gun

80s. basic but true. 

good looking guys. also basic. also true. promise it gets more in depth

the whole vibe of the take on me video is upbeat. happy. theyre dancing around, its half animated but with pencil drawings like a teen would doodle on school books, its carefree, its goofy, its all over the place. 

the music is also upbeat and happy, it makes you wanna dance and get up and vibe

combining video, music and lyrics, the song is about being young. its about being alive, having your whole life ahead of you. taking on the world, being young and in your prime and prepared to give it your all. its happy, its looking forward to the future but enjoying and loving the now. its having options, choice and freedom, to live your life how you want to. 

this is what top gun is at heart. its about being young and in your prime, competing, living life to the fullest. its energy, motivation, but in the end its also growing up. its seeing the worst life can do to you (goose) and recognising it but moving on, finding comfort in your youth and letting go of your responsibilites. 

its the beauty of life, of strength and just the general vibe of the 80s. friendship and love and loss and the beauty of being young. its saying ‘i have my whole life left to live, and nothing can stop me’ 

to understand the next part, i kinda like to thing of the ‘85 version as the soundtrack of top gun. its the 86ers song, its their vibe.

and this ones probably got more to it, my reasons why the unplugged version parallels top gun maverick

modern times. basic again

we gotta focus on the actual musicians now. its the same guys singing, just 40 years older. the same song, just looking back instead of forward. by changing the key and tempo of the song, theyve created a whole new vibe. same lyrics, same guitar, just slower. sadder. they've calmed down, lost some of their energy

the unplugged versions looks back on a life well lived instead of forwards, to a life ahead. its reflecting on all the bad things that have happened and accepting them

in the end, theyre both about acceptance. this is very important. both versions of the song are about accepting everything that life has to offer, everywhere that life can or has taken you. ‘slowly learning that life is ok’

except, where ‘85 version is eagerly accepting and awaiting, unplugged is sadder. not regretful, just sadder. more thoughtful. theyre older, wiser, they recognise how life has changed them, for better or worse. they dont regret their life (its no better to be safe than sorry), they just see what it as it is. lived. over. theyre out of their prime, its a new generation now. 

but at the same time, its also rebellion. theyre old, not dead, they still have fight left in them (take on me, take me on). theyre still standing, a few decades hasnt changed that. 

now tell me, am i describing Take On Me (MTV Unplugged) or Top Gun: Maverick? 

mav regrets pulling gooses papers, but theres nothing he can do about it now. he has to accept life for what it is. he has to accept ice is dying, that hes dead. he has to accept hes old. and rooster has to accept life for what it is too. he needs to realise the past is in the past, the carole and goose are gone and mav is all he has left. Mav pulled his papers. There's nothing he can do about it now

top gun maverick is about growing up, getting old, how life changes a person. its seeing how everyone around you is older, no longer in their prime. the younger generation has centre stage now, but youre still there. your still fighting. youve made mistakes, youve fucked up but your still here bc thats how life works. You're quieter, the background to their lead, but you're still there

think of it as a cycle. in every movie theres an older generation, and a younger generation. the top gun movies focus on one of those generations, following them from young to old, and the song changes with them. 

the 86ers song is take on me, and it follows them, adapting with them. 

now we’re getting a bit more far fetched, but lets say the ‘22 teams song is i aint worried. its got a similar vibe to take on me, but with a 2020s twist instead of 80s synth pop. its carefree, they literally aint worried. its happy, its upbeat, it makes you wanna dance.

now we look at these songs in contrast. take on me unplugged and i aint worried are playing side by side, the older and younger generations. once upon a time, take on me had the same vibe but its grown up. and one day, i aint worried will have the same fate

one day, i aint worried will be an old timey song, the same nostalgic vibe as the og take on me has now, the same vibe as top gun has now. bc top gun is retro, its 80s. rn, tgm is new, its fancy, but it wont always be

its a cycle. its a fucking cycle. the same thing was going on in top gun 86, but with viper/jester and ice/mav/everyone else. we just dont see it, bc we're only focusing on one generation. they all parallel each other. if we we're focusing on the ‘22 team, mav and cyclone would be their viper and jester. old, important but not really. old-fashioned, out of date. but we’re not. its the 86ers story, so their song changes with them, and its what we get to see.

thank you for coming to my ted talk!! i may have gotten a bit off track towards the end there and had an existential crisis but enjoy :)

[funkymbtifiction]

efj anon here! i read through your blog and i think esfj is the best fit. even though i relate a lot to se, i relate to ne as well. i guess i do use ne over ni, since i go back and forth on whether to move toward certain people or permanently stay away, and ni would probably stay away from its first negative impression. esfj sounds about right.

If you care to look through the character tags, you will notice a common trait of ENFJs being extremely single-minded in their opinions of other characters in the film -- because they tend to leap to a conclusion (either substantiated or not) and park there. The benefit of high Ni is single-mindedness; the downfall is narrow-mindedness in terms of challenging their own assumptions (this is less of a problem in more mature ENFJs than immature ENFJs for obvious reasons -- mature ones know their first assumption is not always correct).

for my enneagram, i think i’m probably a 2 or a 9.

I would put 6 in the running. Ping-ponging back and forth between making a decision (I don't want any more to do with this person) and then second-guessing it and changing your mind (I will give them one more chance) is very common in 6w7s, especially of the 692 tritype (which IMO is the one you are sporting in some order). 6w7s with 9 fixes make decisions and then second guess them, arguing themselves into giving people more chances and the benefit of the doubt, never trusting their negative assumptions about people (I should give them another chance/not think about them negatively; I am always aware of their flaws, but also quite convinced they don't mean to be a jerk to me!). 2 of course adds another dose of super-ego thinking (it's not right for me to have needs or to judge the people I care about in a negative light; that's not being a good and supportive and selfless friend!!).

for 9, i really want inner stability and fear separation from others. i don’t suppress my anger though and can readily show it to others, though i can feel guilty about it afterwards. i prefer to keep my emotions to myself and struggle with passivity, both in my career and with people. it’s only when i’m close to someone that i feel i can voice my opinions and be more combative. i seek outer stimulation that brings comfort, like obsessing over one specific show or listening to softer, mellower songs to soothe my anxiety. i also tend to disappear from others and isolate when i’m in a crisis. i don’t want others to see me that way, so i assure them i’m okay while dealing with it myself alone.

Hmm. I know an ESFJ 9 and while she is direct in immediately addressing things when she gets upset, she is also very passive and doesn't argue with her husband/those closest to her, because she doesn't want any argument on her side to cause separation/loss of attachment. I would dig into WHY you fear separation from others. Being withdrawn and separating from others in a crisis is 9ish, tho. Why are you doing that? What is your motive for doing it? Is it the FJ assumption that you ought not to trouble others with your troubles, that you need to remain upbeat for them all the time? Or is it that you feel overwhelmed by what's happening and can't make room for them right now until things calm down?

for 2, i relate to the fear of being unlovable or unwanted. i’ll stay in contact with people i’m not even that close to anymore and do things for them just to feel like i’m needed. it sucks when i don’t get that reciprocity or get the feeling that i’m dispensable. this part in your blog, “A 2 may supplement their emotional life through romance novels, romantic comedies, or Hallmark movies, anything where two people find each other and fall in love” really hit home because i seek these in media when i lack romance in my life. i can also be very conscious of my image and how i can appeal to others better. i don’t want others to think i need them though since that makes me seem vulnerable.

Could be either one, to be frank. You may need to dig deeper into what rejection means for the 2 (rejecting my need, or the belief that I need others, while assuming I am super important and vital to their well-being -- that I am needed) and compare it to the 9, but the bottom line is this -- you are on a plane. Someone does not speak the same language as the stewardess and is having trouble making the stewardess understand their confusion about their seats. You happen to speak their language. Do you help or not?

The 2 immediately helps. The 9 assumes the stewardess will take care of it, since that's her job and she deals with this stuff a lot.

[mx-piggy]

Walking on Sunshine by Katrina & the Waves

I can be just like Fry from Futurama

It's very upbeat, and that's just what I'm looking for

It's annoying enough for me to want to turn it off as soon as possible

You're the Best by Joe 'Bean' Esposito

It's very motivational

Like I will be motivated to wake up and start the day

Give it Up by KC & the Sunshine Band

It's upbeat yet significantly less annoying than Walking on Sunshine

Don't Stop Me Now by Queen

Will let me start the day with a 'let's get this party started' attitude

Good Morning Baltimore from Hairspray (comment which version)

Tracy is just like me fr we're both fat and live in run-down areas

It's also a banger that will make me want to wake up

Life's a Happy Song from the Muppets

Also a banger guaranteed to wake me up

[sleepymarmot]

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018)

First things first. Who watches a purely positive film with a happy ending and then chooses to make a sequel where as the premise they kill off one of the leads, who is the heart even if not the protagonist of the original?! Thankfully, I knew this beforehand and wasn’t horribly shocked during the movie, but this is an automatic strike against it. Sure, the story they told makes sense, but in my heart this is just an AU to the canon where everyone lives happily ever after into very old age.

The tone feels different from the first one. Partially it’s due to the song selection: the original was a sing-along fest with all the big hits, so the second film had to go for less popular songs (some of which I’d never heard before). This meant, at least for me, that the two were watched in different ways: “jumping in my seat, clapping and singing along” vs “just sitting down and watching like any normal movie”.

If the original was a comedy, defined both by the amount of humor and the overall silliness — this is a musical that takes itself seriously. The choreography is less humorous and more polished. The singing is better, which is a good thing... But what I really liked about the original’s song selection and performance style was how the song lyrics often felt like the characters’ actual dialogue, performed in song form just because of the genre conventions. “Honey Honey” starts as a reenactment of Donna’s journal and ends as Sophie’s own words about meeting her father. The fathers reminisce to Sophie about “how they met her mother” through the lyrics of “Our Last Summer”. Meryl Streep delivers “The Winner Takes It All” like a dramatic monologue.

This approach is still used in the sequel, to be fair. My favorite is Sam’s reprise of “S.O.S.”, tragically recontextualized; the beginning of “Angeleyes” felt just like the first film again as Tanya and Rosie finished each others’ sentences while telling the story to Sophie. But too often the songs’ relevance to the scene was limited to a couple of lines, and they felt like characters deciding to perform a pre-written song mildly reminiscent of the current situation, rather than spontaneously expressing their feelings in rhyme. For example:

When Donna sings “When I Kissed The Teacher”, is she telling an anecdote from her life, is she referring to the kiss on the cheek she gives to the professor during the song, or has she simply chosen the most provocative and inappropriate song from her band’s repertoire? 

“Waterloo” has elaborate, inventive choreography, but it’s missing the heart of the song — its playful sexuality; why did they even give this song to Harry, who is supposed to be deluding himself about being attracted to Donna because he hasn’t realized he’s gay yet? (In retrospect, maybe “This guy doesn’t like the girl, he just likes musical theater” was the message they were going for, that’d be actually pretty clever, but the song choice is still weird even in that case.) 

Bill and Donna do have chemistry, thankfully, and “Why Did It Have To Be Me?” has not only the fun choreography but also just the right energy, but the lyrics aren’t really relevant — any upbeat love song would have worked here. (The lyrics would have actually been a great fit for the part of the story where Donna was “lonely and needed a man, someone to lean on”, maybe that’s where the song was meant to go originally and then was moved for some reason?)

The difference between the approaches to musical numbers in the two films is exemplified in the two performances of “Dancing Queen”. In the first film, it’s a motivation speech that two characters give to a third one, encouraging her to recapture the boldness and exuberance of her youth; the message spreads to the rest of the village, making every woman who hears it temporarily abandon her duties to become a dancing queen. In the second film, “Dancing Queen” is also one of the most joyful, celebratory scenes, but it isn’t really directed at Sophie and the lyrics are not particularly relevant; the point here is people united by dancing to happy and catchy music, the song could have been anything, and “Dancing Queen” was likely chosen as a callback to the first film and because of its iconic status.

I was moved, of course, by Donna’s appearance at the end. And once again, the closing number is a highlight. Great blend between the styles of “Waterloo” from the first film and musical theater, 10/10. As always, I love seeing the different versions of the same character on screen together. And where’s that quote about the catharsis of seeing the dead characters during the curtain call? (Update: found it!)

The casting of the young Donna and the Dynamos was incredible. I was almost seriously wondering if the young Tanya was played by the same actress as the old one! The dads were fine, though I thought they looked more similar to each other than their older selves, not to mention the changes in personality, looks and order of events. I understand why they weren’t given the comically ugly looks from the original film, but now they appear like normal conventionally attractive guys from 2010s; couldn’t there be a compromise? (Though I’m amused by young Harry being a different take on the Most English Guy Possible.)

Most of the retcons and continuity issues don’t bother me, but I don’t like the complete reversal of personality for Donna’s mom. She was supposed to be a conservative Catholic whose prejudices Donna internalized! It’s an important part of Donna’s character, actually!

I wrote about the first movie that the plot element of reading someone elseֹ’s diary without permission bothered me. Well, here’s its spiritual successor that takes the invasion of privacy even farther: everyone leaks the secret of Sophie’s pregnancy to one another until it becomes public knowledge. I chose to forgive the diary because it was the foundation of the plot, but this isn’t even necessary!

I continue to be a hater about Bill/Rosie, and the Bill/Harry scenes only added fuel to the fire. The hard cut from Donna jumping into Bill’s bed to Harry’s tied up hands and Bill making the straps tighter was truly inspired. They should make the third film just so this could be endgame, fight me. Why did they make Bill cheat on Rosie, anyway? (Let alone with a “young girl”, which is another can of worms.) If I wanted “men are trash” content I’d watch something else, or maybe turn off my computer and live in the real world for a bit! This universe is supposed to have well-intentioned miscommunication only!! Yes I know Sam cheated on his fiancee but he came clean and broke up with her as soon as he saw her again, it’s not the same!

The second film feels less subversive than the first somewhat. It tones down Donna’s irreverent approach to sex, presenting her relations in a more traditionally romantic and palatable manner. There’s a recurring joke where young Donna tries to insist she’s “not that kind of girl” — while in the first movie her friends state that being judgemental about these matters was her mother’s trait and uncharacteristic of Donna, and that “what to do with three men” was a challenge familiar from their wild youth. The timing and circumstances of Donna's relationship with Harry were retconned so that she now has sex with him out of pity and not because, god forbid, she actively sought it out (“I said l’d show him the island… He’s so sweet and understanding, I couldn’t help it…”). In the first film, the focus is on the middle-aged characters and their desirability to both each other and the youths: Donna is electrified when she sees her three exes in one room, the exes in turn look at her with adoration despite her age and cheesy singing and dancing, Donna and Sam are passionately in love, Tanya is an object of a young man’s advances. The second film does pair off everyone in the older cast, but the spotlight brought by the novelty and the big romantic duets is on the flashback/prequel Donna and her suitors, and all four are young, conventionally attractive, and dressed like romantic leads in any other movie. There’s even overt bodyshaming: a character’s less cool twin is portrayed by the same actor in a fatsuit. The first film feels like an actors’ party and celebrates the charm of imperfection, the second has all the rough edges sanded off and commercialized; it is only after watching the second one I felt self-conscious about not being as easygoing, hot, and glamourous as the leads.

Last but not least, here’s something I enjoyed and wanted to praise throughout the entire film: the costuming is consistently great. The best, most striking looks I’ve seen on screen for a long time! Do I fell transported to 1979? Absolutely not. Does it bother me? Also no.

I wanted to rate this 6/10, but then rewatched “Super Trouper” and the dance part of “Why Did It Have To Be Me?” so many times and spent enough time listening to the soundtrack that maybe it deserves a raise. I guess that would be fair since the end credits deserve 10/10 all by themselves.

See also: my review of the first film.

[sugurus-slxt]

Haikyuu Boys Walking In On You Dancing (smexy edition)

Lineup: Tsukishima Kei, Azumane Asahi, Kozume Kenma, Yamamoto Taketora and Oikawa Tōru.

Warning: cursing, one mention of alcohol, and suggestive smexy content

A/Note: So yes two in a day, I was extra motivated y’all don’t question it. It’s probably because it’s been so long. The songs are just what I like to listen to, m sorry.

Tsukishima Kei

♬♩♪♩ Sean Paul – She Doesn’t Mind ♩♪♩♬

Tsukishima was looking for his bluetooth headphones everywhere because he was positive he had left them on the couch, in the living room. However, they seemed to have grown legs and walked elsewhere, he joked to himself. “Y/N! Shorty! Have you seen my headphones?” he called loudly but no response. He walked through the house shouting your name but you were nowhere to be found. Tsukishima glanced at the clock on the wall; it read 4:30PM. He considered maybe you had been outside, possibly reading a book which you often did.

He was right; there you were blanket laid on the grass with the long-forgotten book and you standing up dancing with his headphones. You hadn’t seen him yet and he had considered stopping you but he just couldn’t. Kei stood at the door admiring the way your hips rolled and body moved. He wondered what you were listening to make you dance this way, so beautifully, so erotically. Tsukishima wasn’t much of a dancer but he’d love to be body to body with you right now. He had clearly gotten a bit too excited and the tent in his pants was proof. His cheeks burned red in embarrassment, you still dancing, unaware of his presence.

He quietly crept up behind you gently clasping his hands around your waist. You jumped a bit, immediately lowering the headphones. “I was looking for those you know,” he whispered lowly in your ear. “I- I’m sorry you can have them back now,” you apolgise trying to turn around. He held your body still, pressing his closer to yours. Then you felt it, the hardness pressed against your back, “But I want something else now. Hmmmm. Care to help me with it shortcake?” he asked his hands finding his way below your shirt, caressing your chest and brushing over your nipples. “K- Kei we’re outside. S-someone could see,” you tried reasoning.

“Really… Hmm you didn’t seem to mind a few seconds ago. So unless you want the neighbors to get a perfect view of your body being wrecked which I’m sure they wouldn’t mind get your ass on the bed upstairs right now,” he said biting your ear, eliciting a whimper from you. “I- y-yes sir,” you reply, pulling yourself from his grasp to go upstairs, he followed closely behind.

Azumane Asahi

♬♩♪♩ Bailando – Enrique Iglesias ♩♪♩♬

Asahi was busy at work in his office; with a tight deadline and 3 designs to perfect every waking hour was spent working. But he’s been staring at the blank page for the past 20 minutes with no breakthrough and it’s not because he couldn’t come up with anything, he just couldn’t concentrate. Why? Because right now you were just outside his door in the living room blasting music. It’s not like you meant to disturb him or had forgotten either, he just didn’t tell you.

He knows you’d insist on staying up to ungodly hours with him as he finished his designs so he told you he’d be in bed shortly, he just had some papers to sign. He hoped you would go to sleep but nope. Asahi wanted to leave you to your music he truly did, he knew you were happiest when you’re dancing and enjoying yourself but he wanted to enjoy it with you. The faster he finished the faster he could come and be with you, so he decided to tell you.

“Hey-,” the words died in his throat as his eyes landed on you. Asahi considered retreating to his office right now but he couldn’t move. You hadn’t heard him and he was kind of glad you didn’t. Your hips swayed to the beat, moving in just the right way, his eyes didn’t leave you. Your clothes hugged your body just right even if they were just sleepwear. Was that really what you wore to sleep he thought? If he had noticed all this sooner he was sure your nights would end a much different way. Asahi’s face flushed red; he cursed himself for thinking such inappropriate thoughts.

Your hands trailed up your body that was moving to the music as you finally turned to see him. “Oh! Hey, honey. I didn’t see you there,” you paused the music and walked up to him. “I- I wanted you to turn down the music. I- mean if that’s alright,” he said scratching his neck. “Yeah yeah. I’m sorry honey. Lemme do that and you can get back to your work,” you pulled his hand to your lips placing a kiss on them, and walking back to the speaker. “W-wait could you umm maybe help me with something. It's fine if you can’t,” he waved his hands in front of him. You look down to find a very turned-on Asahi and chuckled, “Mmmm Of course honey. Maybe next time you can join me dancing. I didn’t know you liked it so much.” Asahi hid his face in his hands as he followed you to the bedroom.

Kenma Kozume

♬♩♪♩ LUV – Tory Lanez ♩♪♩♬

Kenma was busy working a TikTok Livestream because his followers and subscribers have been bombarding his inbox with messages to get one. He was currently in the process of making sure everything was in order as people started popping in and saying hi. You were in the bedroom trying to strike up some inspiration but instead, you got so caught up in the music. Meanwhile, Kenma was telling them about his day but the chat was blowing up with questions so he had skipped over to answer them.

About an hour had passed and he was getting a bit hungry so he decided to headed over to the kitchen, phone in hand to get some apple pie from the fridge. Everyone started commenting typical Kodzuken, a couple people suggested that he ask you if you wanted any. His fan base was very familiar with your presence and often asked for ideas where he would interact with you. The community loved seeing the softer side of Kenma that came out when you were around. His phone was turned to face you so everyone could see you when he entered.

Not even five seconds after he opened the door he closed it. “Hey guys, ummm I need to go. I’ll come back later. Kodzuken out,” he quickly ended the stream and turned off his phone. “Hey, baby. Are you ok?” you peeked out from the door one side of your bluetooth earbuds still in. His face was tinted pink as he pushed you into the room, “I- Kitten … umm my fan base just saw… they … well how you were dancing and I-,” you stopped him pulling him to lay his head on your lap. “I’m sorry baby, but it’s nothing special. Was I bad?” You ask while stroking his hair but he sat straight up. “No! I mean no, you weren’t bad. It was just,” he played with his fingers, “It was just really seductive and it's that’s not really for my fan base to see. “

“Oh? Then who is it for then? Hmmm,” you asked in a teasing manner. He was embarrassed but still confidently answered, “For me ok. It’s for me now stop teasing me ok,” he pouted turning away from you. You giggled, “I’m sorry but maybe you want me to continue. For you alone that is?” He thought about it but then his stomach growled, “Ok I do but maybe eat some apple pie with me first?” You nodded and you both headed to the kitchen but don’t think he forgot about your suggestion.

Yamamoto Taketora

♬♩♪♩ Fast Wine – Machel Montano ♩♪♩♬

Today had gone by pretty slow, and you spent it watching movies and just spending time with Yamamoto. But now it was a bit later and you were feeling some creative juices flowing so you decided to put that to use you grabbed your stuff and set it up at the kitchen counter. He decided to up Kenma’s offer to play some games. About two hours had gone by and your shoulder was getting pretty sore. The playlist was pretty upbeat and just as you had gotten up a dance-worthy song had begun to play. You thought maybe it’d be a good warm-up.

You were swaying your body to the beat and getting in the rhythm. Your hips moved freely as you dragged your hand over your body and fit your dancing to the nature of the song. What you didn't know, is as soon as you started to dance Taketora was coming to get some snacks and check up on you. But his plans changed when he saw you dancing, he froze. If he went back now he’d definitely have to take a cold shower and he saw no difference if he stayed. So he decided to enjoy it for a bit. His cheeks were lightly dusted pink and the situation in his pants was only getting harder.

He felt weird just standing there, kind of like he was being a creep so he decided to quickly run to the kitchen and run back as the song came to a close. “H-hey baby. Just getting a snack and heading back,” he said hurriedly. “Oh ok. Did you enjoy the view?” you quirked your eyebrow smirking at him. “W-what? I didn’t see anything just you baby always se- I mean beautiful as ever,” he turned away from you and opened the fridge. You slowly walk up behind him, and start climbing your fingers up his arms, “Really nothing? I guess that’s too bad, I wanted to know what you thought. Guess I just have to assume it was terrible.”

“Wait! Baby your dancing is really amazing and sexy! How could you say it’s bad!” he shouted covering his face in realisation of what he just said. You burst out in a fit of laughter, it was so easy to get him to admit things, “Babe I’m sorry but I’m glad you like it. I didn’t know how much you saw I only caught you down to the end. But I’m glad you like it I but I do see that your little friend down there liked it much more.” You pointed down to his crotch which he covered while flushing bright red. “I’m sorry I- umm I’ll take care of it,” he apologised turning to leave. “How about we both have a shower and I can fix it for you hmm,” you held his hand and whispered in his ear. “Y-yes p-please. Thank you,” he looked down blushing as you led him to the bathroom.

Oikawa Tōru

♬♩♪♩ Hips Don’t Lie – Shakira ♩♪♩♬

Oikawa was gone for practice and you decided it’d be fun to catch up with your friends because it had been a while. You were on a video call and you guys had started talking about music and gotten into a bit of details about dancing. So now you and all your friends were showing their wining and grinding skills. This was a rather normal occurrence because in all honestly things always got wild between you guys. Put the three of you in a club and all eyes would be on you in no time. It was always a surprise how a couple shots could go such a long way.

You were going off to this song, all the seductive movements, hands dragging over the dips of your body and your hips moving at just the right tempo. Tōru had forgotten his water bottle and came back only to find you dancing. Turned on was an understatement but his time in Brazil gave him experience in more than one way and he was going to use that. This man was not shy but he did wait for the right moment to jump in. He came up behind you resting his hands on your waist, guiding your movement with his. “Hey cutie, moving that beautiful body of yours I see,” he whispered in your ear gently biting it. “You startled me,” you smiled still dancing as you put your arms back against his chest and dragged your body down his, slowly coming back up.

He started placing kisses on your neck, “Mmmm m sorry, fuck I’m not gonna make it to practice baby.” He twirled you away from his body only to bring you back and dip you. He smiled and pulled you up for a kiss. Suddenly, whistles and claps erupted, “Shit- I forgot I was talking to them.” He chuckled as they asked where they can find themselves an Oikawa Tōru. “Well ladies there’s only one and I don’t think Y/N-chan is sharing,” giving them a wink.

“Well, I don’t know you cause a lot more problems than fix them,” you joke as he clutched his chest. “How rude Y/N-chan! Maybe I’ll take your friends up on their offer then,” he crossed his arms and pouted childishly. “You’re not going anywhere, you’re all mine mister, and now what’s that about not going to practice. What did you have in mind?” you asked ending the call with your friends. He didn’t reply, just grabbed you by the waist and placed you on his lap, earning a small squeak from you.

Tell me if you'd like to see anyone else for this? Whether it's MHA or Haikyuu, maybe even Jujutsu Kaisen.

If you liked my writing, maybe you’d like to buy me a coffee?

[ransprang]

Elo!!! May I have a matchup for Harry Potter with male preference? (SFW and NSFW)

I'm 20, Biromantic Pansexual using the pronouns She/Him, chubby, Southeast Asian, 5'1", and Libra. My style is in between soft grunge and soft punk with Korean glam My Hogwarts house is Ravenclaw (but a muggle), MBTI is ENFJ-A/ENFJ-T, and my moral alignment is Neutral Good. I may come off as unamused, shy, and quiet person who doesn't socialize that much, but when I'm with my friends or befriended people, I show my hyperactive, very talkative, slightly teasing, and funny side that laughs on a daily basis to the point I become so annoying, because I'm always in the mood, loves to share whatever I know, also friendly and approachable. In general, I'm creative, religious, intelligent, warm-hearted, assertive, and nice with strong perspectives about politics and social issues, unashamed to be myself, passionate and a risk-taker---I'll do everything to get my ambitions. They think I'm "innocent" or "one-of-a-kind", but I swear a lot (either when I'm mad or not), have an unfiltered mouth where I sound even meaner than I thought, and a savage woman.

Though the chilliest person who procrastinates a lot that neglect things, I'm the most competitive person, I stay silent to regain my motivations and energy. Then I show my intimidating, spunky, serious, and focused side, because I hate losing it's like I disappoint a lot of people around me. About flaws, my temper is like an erupting volcano---irritable, demanding, condemning, and belligerent, harsh, close-minded, and blunt when I'm vocal about my opinions. The extent, whenever someone hates me, I'll secretly hate them in return, extremely clumsy and unfortunate, sometimes I embarrass myself depending on the level of my stupidity. Even I'm a tough person, deep inside I'm hypersensitive, vulnerable, and a hopeless romantic brought by my insecurities, too much expectations, and overthinking.

My hobbies are drawing, singing, dancing when nobody's around and modelling if I ever feel so confident and if the music is upbeat (even I'm terrible at both).

My Pastime are sleeping, listening to music,chatting or browsing on social media, watching videos on YouTube (mostly ASMR, mukbang, audios edits, and beauty pageants), and making terrible jokes/puns thinking it's hilarious

Finally my Enrichment hobbies are writing [views, poems, and one shot story], reading interesting things, and conceptualizing my artworks. I also used to study Italian language a bit

Totally into arts, choir, poetry, karaoke, makeup, fun/deep/dumb conversations, expanding my knowledge in Christianity, documentaries (about saints, real crime stories, and inspirational people), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and creative writing, chilling both indoors and outdoors. Loves kittens, cute things, night sky, playing video games from my sister's PSP, and chilling on both indoors and outdoors. Beside that, my music taste are like late 90s-2000s songs (mostly rock, pop, and country) sometimes Catholic songs, kpop and ppop. Fonds to eat a lot adoring desserts, pasties, and sweets especially chocolate. Things that I detest are stereotyping, forcing me to be what I want or to do things that I dislike, being left out, loneliness, heart break, blackout, and judgemental people. If I found out that someone hates or backstabbing or let's say they're rude, I won't hesitate to throw offensive criticisms, leaving them with a "I don't give a f" attitude.

Afraid of large creepy crawlies (spiders, toads, snakes, and cockroaches), firecracker sounds, thunder and lightning.

One random fact about me is, I 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 vent out everything I despise in my entire existence---bad soap operas to toxicity, worse scenarios in real life, and how terrible is my love life from unrequited feelings that I got, because it's a big deal for me. I consider red flag manipulation as my pet peeve

Hey buddy, we love how ambitious you are with all the hobbies personality traits you have

We match you with the cutie himself...........

CEDRIC DIGGORY

SFW

Being a hufflepuff he is into yellow and therefore has a thing for asians (as we've seen with cho chang). Hes super into your korean glam aesthetic, as well as your south east asian heritage.

Cedric is non judgemental and thus, he would like to befriend you and would look past the cold exterior.

He doesn't appreciate your savagery, unless in bed.

Cedric Diggory seems like his mothers dead and is a malleable person, hence can be converted to Christianity. He also died for Harry's sins...Jesus imagery, anyone? He doesn't seem like a guy interested in muggle literature like the bible so maybe you can recite passages of it to him.

He would protect you from creepy crawlies and firecrackers by hugging you tightly.

He would also love your beautiful artwork and poetry, he would appreciate it laying under the stars with his eyes closed.

He would let you do his makeup before class because we think they did a bad job in the movie (that blush sis~)

He may not be okay with chilling indoors or outdoors, but maybe in the middle of doors. You may have to kick him aside just to enter the room.

N/SFW

Cedric seems like hes compensating for something with his intelligence, so he would definitely know how to use his tongue.

The only back stabbing he would do is into your ass

Cedric can pose for you and....you can draw him like on your italian boys. (Maybe michelangelo's david sculpture)

Cedric would fuck to the beat of boombayah, and scream blackpink near the climax.

He would offer to become your man plate. You can eat tasty pastries, chocolates and sweets off his manhood.

Yours shamefully,

Admins sav, san & sar

[fumingspice]

andante

Pairing: Cordelia Goode x Reader

Prompt: oK so how about like?? Delia x reader and they're both in love af but they think the other has no feelings for them so they're both tripping over themselves to make the other love them and then madison comes in and she's just like 'stop being dumb' and they finally realise how much the other loves them.

I’m sorry but my ed crept back in and im not horny enough to put more thought into writing so just ignore the massive time skip at “---”. enjoy, you strange people xo

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*(*❦ω❦)*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

It's crazy. Falling. You see? We don't say "rising into love". There is in it, the idea of the fall. And it goes back to extremely fundamental things. That there is always a curious tie at some point between the fall and the creation. Taking this ghastly risk is the condition of there being life. You see, for all life is an act of faith and an act of gamble...

Between Cordelia Goode's ears were pretty brown eyes and a mind full of thoughts. Brown eyes were never really your favourite until you saw them on her. You knew yourself that somehow, over the years you got to know Cordelia; working with her, befriending her, carrying her home from the bar one night when she got far too drunk, letting her cry into your shoulder when her job became too real and she could feel her mother's words hanging over her head.

When you started falling for the woman with those beautiful brown eyes.

Somehow, her eyes were now your favourite colour.

Not brown- brown wasn't simply the word for the colour. Cordelia's eyes were the colour of aged whiskey. Sometimes they were the only two safe shots of tequila that you could see. Sometimes they were a beautiful milk chocolate dotted with exposed honeycomb. Once when she had asked you to help her decorate the garden for the Summer Equinox- she had given Zoe enough money to take the girls on a field trip for the day so she could give the girls a little party. You stood watching her in her denim shorts and her white button up. When she had stepped back and put her arm around you to admire both of your handy work you could have sworn her eyes were glowing like fresh magma.

Her hand lay on your waist a split second too long.

You had fallen in love with the Supreme.

"Yo, bitch!" Madison Montgomery's usual entrance phrase disturbed you from your imagination. You raised your brow and smirked.

"Yes, Madison?"

The blonde took her sunglasses off her face and closed them with a slight snap. "The girls want to know if you wanna come to play Pysch! with us," she said. Her lips were curled in what could almost be described as a friendly smile. You were one of the few honoured to know that under Madison's bitchy white girl facade there was actually a very sweet someone lurking under there.

You thought for a moment and put your pen down. "I won't be long- I just have to log these last few names and I'll be there," you tell her. Madison rolled her eyes and waved her hand, the pen lifted itself and wrote the last thirteen names within seconds. "You're done. Let's go, Y/N."

Madison didn't even give you a minute to say anything before she walked out of the room. "Come on, bitch. Don't make me use my powers!" she called from the hallway, finally motivating you to move.

The girls sat in a circle in Zoe's bedroom. Lights off. Candles lit.

Zoe, Queenie, Mallory, and Coco were indulged in their phones for the game. Madison turned to you and held up her phone to show you the question. "What is Zoe's deepest, darkest secret?" she read. "You gotta answer it and the person with the most votes wins. It lasts for ten rounds and it can be fucking hilarious."

Zoe's face was red with laughter at the answers. "She's not actually a witch- that's not even funny," she gasped through cackles. She then sobered slightly. "She likes to watch Danny Devito movies while masturbating and screaming 'I am a dirty man'."

Madison was the only one who chortled at that.

You joined the game and got your best answers ready in your head. "If Madison got arrested tomorrow what would it be for?"

Madison rolled her eyes and muttered something about knowing exactly what everyone was about to answer. You smirked slightly, sensing her slight apprehension.

Prostitution.

Murder. Third-degree.

Fucking up the brakes on a bus full of frat boys.

Public Nudity.

"Gosh, you're so original," she muttered, glaring right at Zoe, who just shrugged.

"It's the rules of the game, bitch. Go all in, don't get offended," she replied.

The game pinged for the next question.

"What is on Y/N's mind right now?"

Coco gave a loud "Ha!" and typed quickly, along with the other girls who were all typing as quickly as possible to get their answers in first.

A quiet knock came from the other side of the door and Cordelia poked her head around. "Sorry to interrupt, girls. Y/N, could I borrow you for a moment?" she asked, voice sweet and angelic. You bounced up as soon as she finished the sentence and obliged straight away. You were met with a sweet smile.

Madison flicked her brows. "Speak of the devil," she muttered, winking at Delia's slightly confused face. As you left, your phone pinged to announce the results just before you left the game.

Cordelia 🥵🥵🥵

Delia. I ship it <3

Getting knuckle deep finger fucked by the HWIC

French fries

You quickly shut off your phone screen before Cordelia could see.

"What's the matter, Delia?" You asked, practically skipping alongside her. There was a vibrant air of satisfaction between you.

Cordelia shook her head, her blonde hair bobbing with her movements. “I just wanted to know if you’d like to go out.”

You felt your heart stop. “Go out?”

Cordelia looked hurt by the confusion on your face.

“Yes. Would you like to join me in the garden?”

“Oh,” you realised, slightly disappointed. “I would love to.”

---

"For the love of Hades. Right, I don’t mean to sound rude or anything because I have some understanding that lesbians are fucking useless because of the fear of appearing to be predatory because the media is an asshole,” Madison continued. “But I don’t really think any of us can eat at this table anymore without choking on the fucking sexual tension between the both of you.”

Cordelia looked shocked. “It’s not that-”

“I’m a fucking mindreader! You do get that I can fucking hear the things that you say in your head about what you want to do to Y/N? I’m one gutter minded bitch and not even I’m creative enough to come up with that shit while I’m eating my fucking apple turnover!”

You blushed hard and chuckled.

Madison’s neck snapped towards you. “Oh, and don’t getting me fucking started on you! Do you know how fucking unsanitary it would be to carry out your little fantasies of fucking Cordy on the kitchen counter? Not even for us but the amount of fucking crumbs that would work into your nooks and crannies would be like trying to spring clean Myrtle's fucking hair! "

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Cordelia chuckled nervously. Her face turning a shade of red. “I’m sure Y/N’s got plenty of better options.”

Madison dropped her face in her hands and rubbed her temples. “God, you bitches are going to put fucking years on my skin.”

“Oh, give me a break, Madison.”

Cordelia stumbled foward slightly, having been tripped up by some unseeable force and sending her tumbling into you. Her hands lay against your chest for that split second too long once more.

Your lips parted for a moment and your breath hitched as you both watched Madison smirk and leave the room. It felt like your heart was beating at a thousand miles an hour. You surroundings were unnoticable to you now; replaced by unidentifiable whirls of colour and light. Your hand rested flat on Cordelia’s cheek. It was different this time. Not the spark, that had been there every time you touched. It was the fact that you were both too slow to ignore the ignition that started in your chests. 

You saw her eyebrows falter from their previously confident expression, like all of her preparation and barriers and walls had fallen down and she was too slow to replace them. Cordelia pursed her lips, presumably trying to figure out what she should say to you. Again, she was too slow as you inhaled sharply and thrust yourself forward to catch her lips.

Delia was quick to mould herself to the curves of your front, hands falling to the small of your back on a collision course as she backed you into the dining room table. You smoothed your hands over the contours of her jaw, her collar bones, breasts, hips like you were a master pianist playing a brilliant concerto. Her body was the only instrument you longed to play; her moans the only melody that you longed to draw from her.

As her lips glided across your own, everything came together like pieces into place. You thought back one of those late nights in the kitchen. The way Delia’s fingers had so enthusiastically laced through yours during the late night in the kitchen when you had both stayed up until the wee hours of the morning talking about life. How the witch had turned the radio on and taken your hand while you danced to some song by REO Speedwagon. Twirling you through the night. “Can’t fight this feeling” was the song. Ironic, now that you thought about it. It seemed as though fighting her feelings was what she had been doing the entire time.

She twirled you around in the light of the dim television and the refrigerator when the songs were upbeat, even going as far as dipping you and pulling you up again. Bare thighs against your own in her shorts and oversized shirt. When the songs that were played were slower, she was more gentle. Until eventually you swayed in a slow two-step, your head against her chest, and hers against yours. The air was thick with something pure. Something untouched. 

You had no idea why you ever just thought this was something two best friends did. More so, you had no idea why you didn’t lean back and dip into her lips and allow your souls to dance the waltz that they were so clearly destined for. 

Cordelia’s thumb and finger lay on either side of your jaw as she continued to kiss you as if her soul depended on it. Her fingers interlocked with yours against the table.

She broke away, tears had fallen down her cheeks and made your heart melt. “Oh-ho,” you chuckled, mouth agape at her sight. “Why the tears, my love?”

Cordelia laughed, wiping away her tears. “I’ve longed to do that for so long,” she replied. “So, so long.”

You chuckled at her sweetness and the display of pure love that you were so unaccustomed to.

“I fell in love with you, Y/N. I don’t think I will ever stop falling in love with you. You’ve created this storm of beautiful chaos in me,” she continued. “Do you remember that night where I was really sleepy, so you let me just stay in your room? How I had fallen asleep on top of you by accident and you wrapped your arms around me and hummed a lullaby?”

You nodded, remember the feeling of waking up with the Supreme in your arms.

“I was wide awake,” she told you. A delicate smile arose.

You chuckled into her touch.

“Oh, sweetheart,” you replied, drawing her closer, her blonde hair twirled in your fingers. “I know you were.”

[straighttohellbuddy]

how the light gets in {Corpse Husband}

2. you’ve gone way too fast for way too long.

Summary: Supernatural Creatures AU. Them/Them Reader. After the success of your first stream, you find yourself wanting to get back to your YouTube roots, and what better way to do that than with a cover by one of the bands who holds a special place in your heart? And maybe you’re using it to distract yourself from thinking about how coming back to YouTube means coming back to the things - the people - you’d left behind. 

Maybe it’s selfish, but Corpse kind of wishes you hadn’t come back to YouTube; honestly, if anyone else had taken the world by storm, he wouldn’t complain half as much, except it’s you and he’s still mostly convinced that you might be an angel like him... Except better. Because of course you would be a better angel, you’re talented and driven and personable and essentially everything an angel should be, and - bar the talented bit, Corpse at least knows some of his worth - you’re everything he’s pretty sure he’s not. Except it seems like everyone loves you, and he doesn’t exactly have a good enough reason to be bothered by you the way he is, so he has to act like he isn’t. Which is a lot easier said than done, when you barely say a word to him and it feels like all of his suspicions are confirmed. 

A/N: 8471 words. Reader in the fic is stated to be 24. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SUPERNATURAL THE TV SERIES. me, trying to walk the line between 3rd person omniscient narrator and trying to make the narration feel like its somewhat coming from the POV character?? it’s more likely than you think! as always, i really appreciate feedback.

{ m a s t e r l i s t }

Taglist: @nanasort @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian @theboywhocriedlupin @taikalinna @jaychirps @bingusmode @divine-artemis @realmejay @lovemelikepercy @balla-deer @miniritzcrackers @loraleiix @ppopty @easygoingtheatre @insanedeathwish @siriuslystupid @losvertown @janiathecat @wineandionysus @moonlightsimp @allylyew @chokingonflxwers @sicnesa @xxniksxx @mishisamess @preciousskye @yashinosakura @meleekabenjamin @whatamievendoinghere01 @lxurxn-02 @liljennyx3 @the-fusionist @benjaminka @lilysdaydreams @a-lonely-bic @letsloveimagines @melmachh @tama-chan-suneater @shio-yuki @fairywriter-oracle @easygoingtheatre @pixelbxtch @dreammoutlouddd @abysshaven @mediocrearistophanes @tsukishimawh0re @inkbyajm @jordiee95 @honkcorpse @kaiihaan @takenbyheartstrings @mrtony-stank1 @dangeroustreebread @xibrokensunriseix @corpseglider @artsyally @ellsbells2143 @machine-gun-casie @marvelsmurphy @bigmac-papi @danielle143 @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @starstruckllamapuppy @youretheonlyonewhomakesme @fee-btheweeb @parkerpeanuts @fanfictionenthusiast @evans-dejong @pancakebinnie @minbunbun @sabrinarahaman @thefangirl05 @jades-bullshit @fo-love @roses-and-grasses @thirstyfangirl @lovelysmp @325575 @wrongcielo @lukathecrime @lunariasilver @delicrieux @rebloogggs @kookiesandtae7 @mizxkii @effielumiere @happyyyandcrazyyy @teenageguitarist @prettylittlealiengirl @aroyalharknessblr @kylie-writes-stuff @annshit @haunteddeputymugpersona 

taglist is always open! message me if you’d like to be added xx

----

The day after your song drops, it’s on Spotify’s Top 50 Viral playlist, it’s charting on iTunes, it’s splattered across the internet, according to your manager, who sees fit to text you, congratulating you on what she assumed to be a masterful marketing tactic; releasing the song and immediately streaming alongside huge YouTube creators who have a wide and diverse fanbase, all plugging your music. She thinks it was a carefully calculated move, which makes you feel all kinds of scummy, like you were using your new friends. Thankfully, when you fire a somewhat defensive response about how you had no ulterior motive, that all you wanted to do was have fun and make friends, your tone apparently reads loud and clear, as you receive an apology a few moments later. Backtracking, she simply mentions that, even unintentionally, you had great timing, and she’s glad you had a good time, which is better, and you try not to dwell on your initial assumption. Years of your life had been spent worrying that the people you were close to just thought you were using them for views or fame; her words did little to quell that worry, so instead you tried to distract yourself, or at the very least, focus on the good that yesterday had brought about.

The best, of course, was Sykkuno, the hellhound who’d endeared himself to you almost immediately. Something about him makes you feel safe, though perhaps it’s that you’re unused to someone feeling so familiar; you like to think you’re a good judge of character, so for now, you’re trusting in your instincts, trusting in Sykkuno. The next best thing was a tie, between friends and freedom. Yesterday you’d been doing what you wanted to do, not what you thought you should be doing, not what was on brand, or carefully scripted; you were messy, stumbled over your words, and you laughed and deceived your friends as was the aim of the game, it was so freeing to be unfiltered. People kept saying it was nice to see you smile, to hear you laugh again. Huh. Part of you really doesn’t like that you know exactly what they mean, and more importantly, why people are saying that at all. But things are different now, are freer now; your brand was built on you, it’s nice to get back to that.

By mid-morning, you’d been sprawled out on your sofa for almost an hour, glad to be alone, to not have to worry about being seen, as you’ve phased your tail back into reality, and have it holding up your phone as you scroll through Twitter with one hand and fidget idly with the other. More and more you’re seeing supportive comments from people gushing about the few bars you’d sung of 5 Seconds of Summer’s Youngblood on stream yesterday. First your chat had loved it, now it seems the general consensus was that people would love for you to cover more than a few bars. While you tried not to listen too much to what other people wanted, you couldn’t help but admit that it was something you definitely wanted too.    

When you text your manager, new idea already taking hold of your focus, your earlier unsavoury text conversation seemingly forgotten, your manager reminds you that you should be working on your new album, putting together the tracklist for your EP. Ugh. 

It’s not that you didn’t have ideas, quite the opposite; you’re exploding with ideas, brimming, overflowing with them, for songs you wants to write and feelings you can’t express any other way, but the songs and collaborations you’ve already completed, their mp4 files sitting neatly on your desktop, you wanted to save them for the full album, like it was some sort of penance for getting to collaborate, getting to become friends with people you looked up to, people who inspired you. To you, their contribution was worthy of your full album. 

Well, that was part of the reason, the other part was that the songs you had designated for the album had a different vibe to your EP songs; albumtouralbumtour and imposter syndrome had both been written in lockdown, about very specific concerns you were having at the time. The EP was shaping up to capture a very specific moment in time, while the album was so much more than that. You couldn’t put read at five am on the EP, the collaboration you’d done with Troye, a lyrical-lament with a dissonant, upbeat melody, an apology for when you’re the one who cuts off contact with someone you’re close to and don’t know how to say why, and don’t know how to come back; yes, the fact that you and Ethan are talking again means that the song is technically relevant to this period of time, but it’s three years of regret and indirect apology compressed into in three minutes. It’s going on the album. 

But being stuck at home all day for months had made you all nostalgic for your roots, for when you’d started uploading all the way back in 2012, at 16, with no idea what a few videos would lead to. You missed covering songs you loved, the songs other people had written and that you had still connected with, the songs that made you want to write your own. Yes, you loved your own content, obviously, but from idea to video publishing, you knew a low-effort cover would take you maximum a day and a half if you were particularly inspired, which you clearly were. By now, you’d been doing this for so long that you knew the legality of it all like the back of your hand, and were in a stable enough place to be more than happy to pay royalties to the band you’d co-headlined alongside for your first international tour.

“What if I call the boys and ask them?” You decided to just call your manager directly, tail curled securely around your phone where you’d put her on speaker, pottering around your kitchen trying to find something to eat. Alison, on the other end of the line, sighed deeply, having been fielding these sorts of calls from you about once a fortnight since lockdown had started.

“Have you finished moment before impact yet?” She countered, and you wrinkle your nose; its as if she can hear the expression through the phone with the way she continues on, not giving you a moment to cut in, “listen, I won’t tell you what to do, but you need to make a decision about your EP tracklist soon, okay? The label’s breathing down my neck, you know you have more than enough songs for it.”

“Alison, the vibes -”

“The vibes, Y/N, I know,” she sighed deeply, but you could hear the faintest smile in her voice.

“I promise I’m working on my own stuff; I think moment before impact is gonna be a collab, but I’m not sure who with yet, but if it makes you happy, once I record this 5SOS thing, I’ll work on a demo of moment for the EP,” you concede, and you hear her hum in approval, “I promise I have all the songs in my head, I just gotta make sense of which ones are the right ones for now, you know?”

“I really don’t,” you could hear her actually smiling now, so you let yourself relax for a moment, hands braced on your kitchen counter as you looked to your phone, “but I suppose that’s why you’re the musical one and I’m the manager.”

“My favourite manager,” you told her sweetly, and her answering laugh is more of a snort. 

"Call the band, maybe they can work something out for you regarding royalties, if you plan to monetise it," she suggested, and you hummed, "keep me updated, okay? Make sure you're still working on your own stuff though."

"Alison you're a national treasure," you tell her feelingly; you don't even have to see her to know she's rolling her eyes.

But you take her advice, sending 'what if I covered Youngblood and posted it to YT? I'll pay you royalties' to the mostly dormant WhatsApp group you have with 5 Seconds of Summer, despite it being about six in the morning in Australia. Callum sends back a thumbs up almost immediately. Its all the confirmation you need to get started.

As you’re hunting through your house for a pick, turning over cushions, looking through junk drawers, you hear your phone go off, and you take a moment to check, surprised by what you see. A message from Sean. Huh.

[I see you’ve finally decided to join us in the gaming community, took you long enough 😊 If you ever wanna play something, just gimme a yell, you know Id be glad to have ya on my team.]

Considering the fact that it had been three years since you and Sean had properly been in contact, you find the message both surprising, and strangely heartwarming. There were a few people you’d purposefully fallen out of contact with, plagued by your own fears and self doubts. The people who you’d seen in person almost daily were the ones who you’d felt the absence of the most, but Sean, just by his close association with those people, along with a few other international friends, had been regretfully left behind also. Here and now, you can feel just how much you’ve missed him, how guilty you feel for giving in to your own anxieties and the negativity spewed by others. 

But you know you can’t dwell on the past, on your mistakes, all you can do is be grateful for the opportunity to reconnect, and take it.

[ID: A tweet and reply conversation between @yourtwitter and @goldeny/n, followed by a single tweet by @ZeRoyalViking, and a tweet and reply conversation between @yourtwitter, and @5SOS.

@yourtwitter: someone yell at me for doing another cover instead of my original stuff. quarantine got me feeling 17 again. might do the cinnamon challenge next. or finally do that Roast Yourself trend 4 years too late. | @golden_y/n: BRUH YOU BEST NOT BE PULLING OUR LEGS | @golden_y/n: I would empty my bank account to see you roast yourself. | @yourtwitter: Please Don't Do That YouTube Is Free | @golden_y/n: 😳💀💖

@ZeRoyalViking: stream today with some familiar and not so familiar faces!!

@yourtwitter posted an image of Griffin McElroy from the My Brother My Brother & Me TV show. Griffin is a Caucasian man wearing glasses and a blue checked shirt. He is visible from the chest up and is sitting behind a desk with one arm in front of him, with his thumb out, as if counting. The image’s subtitles have been edited, now reading ‘My friends are very much into the following: Bullying me on TikTok.’ | @yourtwitter: @luke5SOS is just mad im gonna sing his song better than him. he doesn’t use twitter anymore so i have the upper hand here. | @5SOS replies with a gif of Jason Momoa, who is incredibly muscular, with dark hair down to his shoulders, a black tank top, and sunglasses on, holding a microphone, standing in a confrontational manner, captioned ‘No, no, no. By all means, speak your mind. You got a problem with my boy?’ | @yourtwitter: HE WENT LIVE UNPROMPTED TO TELL PEOPLE ABOUT HOW I WROTE NOTIMETOSLEEP IN THREE DAYS WITH NO ACTUAL SLEEP, OPENED FOR THEM IN ARIZONA, AND IMMEDIATELY PASSED OUT FOR 16 HOURS AFTER WALKING OFF STAGE | @5SOS: we just miss you tho... and it is kind of funny. | @yourtwitter: the minute im allowed to safely leave lockdown im coming to australia to german supplex the lot of you. ❤️

End ID.]

Corpse’s whole ‘not thinking about you’ plan goes down a lot smoother when you’re not actively stealing his friends- what kind of Angel goes around stealing another person - another Angel’s, no less - friends?! Except, right, he doesn't actually have proof that you're an angel, just a hunch he’s apparently committed to... and, okay, you don't know you're stealing them... Sykkuno and Rae are allowed to have more than one friend. Obviously.

"Honestly, I'm still kind of riding the high from yesterday's stream," Sykkuno’s all kinds of elated in the voice chat, and Rae's quick to chime in, matching his tone, his energy, as she agrees.

"I cannot believe Y/N played with us! I’m sorry you missed it, Corpse, I think you'd love them," Rae is adamant, to which Corpse, from behind the safety of his monitor, makes a face.

"What makes you say that?” Even as he says it, as he tries to keep the negativity from his voice, his nose wrinkles, the expression shifting his eyepatch just a little.

“I don’t know, just something about...” Rae’s voice turns thoughtful as she considers, though Sykkuno takes the chance to pipe up, voice brimming with his trademark sincerity.

“You guys have weirdly similar vibes, like kind of a similar energy?” He tries to explain before a faintly embarrassed laugh escaping him, even with Rae humming in agreement, “not the exact same, obviously, but like, I don’t know, I think you’d really like them.” The problem with having Sykkuno for a friend is that he’s almost always trying to be genuinely kind or helpful. The problem is that Corpse can tell he believes what he’s saying. 

An angelic ability that often goes overlooked, even by angels themselves, is the innate ability to tell whether or not someone’s lying. It’s like a faint buzzing, low grade tinnitus, at the sound of a lie, something that can actually be pretty effectively ignored and forgotten, but right now, the lack of buzzing with Sykkuno’s words is frankly irritating. Not that Corpse can say that, he has no real reason to be jealous of your fast forming friendships with his friends, well, not any reason he can admit to on stream.

"You know what,” Sean muses, finally joining the conversation, “It’s been a while since I properly spoke to them, but I totally get what you mean,” fucking great; of course he agrees, “did anyone invite them to play; would love to have them here if they’re up for it.” 

"I think they're working on a thing today, but I can message and ask?" It’s Sykkuno who speaks up, the barest hesitation in his voice, and to that Rae makes a proud little noise in the back of her throat. 

"You met yesterday on the stream that I organised, and suddenly you're all best buddies? Gonna be honest, I’m a little jealous,” she admits, to which Sykkuno huffs a soft laugh, uncertain of what to say, though Rae’s tone is fond and she continues on, “seriously though, good for you, dude, finally getting the recognition you deserve -"

And on the one hand, yes, Corpse would agree that Sykkuno deserved infinitely more recognition and praise than he currently received, but on the other, the speed at which you two had aparently become close - a day! It had been a day! - sets Corpse’s teeth on edge. It was all he could do to keep quiet as the others chimed in, all their sentiments mirroring Rae’s.

All this frustration and resentment was almost definitely unhealthy, he was more than aware, but something about you had fixed in his mind; if it had been anyone else, anyone less talented or personable or productive, he could have probably handled it, but you...

All he gets is two games worth of peace before Sykkuno announces that he’s gotten a reply. Aparently you’re in the middle of recording a cover. Something about knowing that fills Corpse with discomfort, with envy, like he should be working on his music instead of being here. 

"But they say they're gonna take a break in an hour or say, so they might join us for a few games," Sykkuno’s tone betrayed his bright smile, and suddenly the voice chat was flooded with excitement from almost all in attendance. 

"Wait, really? Just like that, we'll be playing with Y/N?" Leslie sounds disbelievingly hopeful, but thankfully it’s only a few moments until the next game beings. While none of the others had picked up on Corpse’s silence, his chat seemed confused. Purposefully ignoring their questions and comments on the matter, he instead gives a few comments on the game, trying to come off lighter than he was feeling. 

He’s not quite sure what he’s going to do if you join the stream, he’d never actually considered that he might one day talk to you, have to confront the person whose very existence got under his skin, who might very well be the only other person like him on this side of the world. Unsurprisingly, his head’s not in the game.

"Did you get enough sleep last night?” Rae feels the need to ask when whatever response he’d given in a meeting had just come out as an incoherent mumble. Of course he straight up laughs at her question, which is answer enough, and she clicks her tongue disapprovingly, “you’re impossible.”

“Have you drunk any water today -?”

“Sykkuno you’re dead,” Sean interrupts Sykkuno, who had broken one of the main rules of the game simply to question Corpse about his health; he’s far too caring for his own good, but moments like this make for good entertainment, “dead people can’t talk,” Corpse is grateful for all of five seconds before Sean turns on him, reiterating Sykkuno’s question like a traitor; “Corpse, have you drunk water today?” In lieu of a proper response, Corpse groans, playing at being annoyed.

“I say we vote him out because if he is the imposter, we win, and if he isn’t, he has time to go drink a glass of water,” Rae proposes matter-of-factly, which just leaves Corpse spluttering with disbelief.

“That’s fucking stupid; I’m not the imposter, you’re basically throwing the game -” but the votes are already popping up, and unfortunately, for the first time all stream, everyone seems to be in agreement.

“Drink water, Corpse,” Rae, clearly the leader of this mutiny, orders, as Corpse watches his character get flung into lava, and very begrudgingly heeds her words. He takes his sweet time drinking a full glass of water and refilling it to take back with him, intermittently glaring from his kitchen at his computer, despite the game still going on; he’s got several tasks left, if they don’t catch the imposters, they’re doomed, and honestly he doesn’t care. Once the game ends, with the crewmates’ loss, as he’d suspected, they all find themselves back in the lobby. Maybe they’re waiting for him. They can wait longer.

As he settles himself back into his office chair, he pulls on his headphones in time to hear -

“- earlier than I thought because of a whole thing on TikTok and then Twitter, and then my manager texted me telling me-” It’s like he’s turned twenty again at the sound of your voice; you, bright, earnest, rambling to probably Sykkuno or Sean or Rae, probably not even aware of him, but he’s never been more aware of you. Not that he’d ever admit it to anyone, but your second EP, hyperfocus, had been in heavy rotation on his Spotify since he’d discovered it, since he’d listened to the crack in your voice, the exhaustion with which you spoke on i’m going through some stuff when Lofi had just been taking off as a genre. He’s... conflicted, going through an internal crisis while you keep talking, blissfully unaware, “- anyways, I think she’s just worried that I’ll end up threatening to German Supplex Harry Styles, or the late, great, Prince, and I’ll end up cancelled.”

“Y/N,” your name sounds equal parts amused and concerned as Sykkuno says it, with the air of someone who’s been privy to you and your antics far longer than just one day. The response you give is just as bright and cheery as your rambling had been, assuring him that you wouldn’t threaten to German Supplex Prince.

“You sure about that?” Sean was obviously grinning, judging by his fond tone, “sounds like something you’d try -”

“I’ve changed, Jack- Sean- fuck,” your muttered swear undercuts your attempt at earnestness after you correct yourself, clearly not used to calling him by his actual name. To that, Sean gives a fond chuckle, before going right back to ribbing you.

“I’m pretty sure there’s still video evidence of you trying to square up with Mark in person,” Sean points out, to which you grow huffy and defensive, playing up your frustration. 

“Well, that was for a completely reasonable reason!”

“Which was?”

“I thought it would be funny,” tone flipping completely, the words come out so sincere and bright it’s almost tooth rotting; if he didn’t know any better, Corpse would probably find himself being endeared by it, “and it was! Plus,” though here you give pause, and something about the tone of the conversation shifts as you chew on the words you’d almost said without thinking, “it was funny,” you said, softer this time. Sean, sensing the shift, does his best to pick the mood back up, reminding you that both you and Mark lost the competition you’d been taking part in anyways, and asking if you really had changed.

Before you had time to answer, however, Rae spots Corpse’s avatar moving ever so slightly, and immediately jumps on him.

“Corpse! Did you drink water?” She asks. He unmutes so they can all hear his deep, beleaguered sigh. “I can and will bully you into taking care of yourself,” her heart’s in the right place, and it is mostly a bit, so he can’t be too put out by the fact that she cares.

“I can’t believe you all voted me out because of it,” he chooses to respond instead, and Rae’s cackle echoes through the voice call.

“She also was the imposter, so...” Ze trailed off, a little sheepishly, to which Corpse rolled his eyes, not that anyone can see. Of course she was. But he’s not even given a moments before -

“You must be Corpse!” The moment the words leave your lips, every single goddamn nerve in Corpse’s body feels like it’s alight; everything overwhelming, unfamiliar,. white-hot, he’s suddenly desperately trying to keep his various abilities in check, since he really doesn’t want to short out his whole system, end the stream early, and probably cause his building to go into a blackout, just because of whatever this is. The whole world has changed with four words; better and worse and more more than anything. It’s... it’s a confirmation of some kind, and he tries to hold onto that vindictive feeling in his chest. You are familiar, you are something he recognises like no-one else he’s ever met before; you are like him. Is it better or worse now he knows it’s the truth?

“Must I be?” He manages to respond, keeping his voice as level as he’s able, shooting for vaguely amused and trying not to let any of the past few seconds sudden overwhelming panic and triumph bleed into his voice. But the moment you hear him, there’s a sharp gasp; that same something, understanding, recognition he’d felt, you feel it too.

“Y/N, you okay?” Ze had asked, and you made a vaguely muffled noise of unconvincing confirmation. Out of sheer, idle curiosity, Corpse opened a new tab and searched up your YouTube channel where you were streaming.

“Maybe we should have warned ya’,” Sean offers with a light laugh, before lowering his voice, immitating and announcer as best as he could, “warning! Corpse is about to speak!” Which at the very least got Corpse to laugh, though he refused to give anything away as your stream loaded, and the banter continued in his ears.

“Har har,” you muttered sarcastically into the voice chat, right as the stream finished loading, and - you. Well dressed, face in your hands, heels of your palms pressed against your closed eyes; honestly, he doesn’t exactly have any prominent initial thoughts about you, watching you scrunch your face up in your hands, dealing with the same thing he had to, though your face was live to thousands. Beside you, the text chat for your stream was going almost too fast to read, but he managed to follow a few threads of thought here and there.

[an eye thing! they’ve got an eye thing!] [someone @ y/n_creature_spec on twt!!] [who has an eye thing??] [lmao love that they were so shocked hearing corpse that it set off their eye thing] [hello!! vampire here!! we have eye things!!] [u cant be a vampire it’s the middle of the day] [THERE ARE COUNTRIES OTHER THAN AMERICA YOU KNOW] [i am willing to put MONEY on the idea of them being fae of some kind.] [^^yeah they just didnt want us to see their eyes sparkling like an anime character.] [that feels like smthn corpse could bring out in people]

And then you’re blinking back to reality, bringing him from his thoughts as for one terrifying moment, it’s as if his gaze locks with yours. Expression so bright and inviting, despite the way your eyes were watering just a little, you hold eye contact with your camera for a moment before looking at your screen, mumbling something about an eyelash in your eye; Corpse lets out a shaky breath. Chat seems unconvinced, but at least the other streams take you on your word. For a few more moments, he quietly watches you, watches the way your eyes roam your screen as you order your thoughts, and for all that he’s thought of you, he’s never properly looked at you. It’s taken him until now to acknowledge that there was definitely a reason for your success beyond just your talent; certainly you could have become successful from your music alone, but your career certainly wasn’t hindered by the fact that you’re actually quite- suddenly, Corpse is overcome by the sense that he’s intruding, exiting out of the window immediately, even going so far as to push back from his desk, fingers spread wide, braced against the edge, trying not to think too hard about... any of it. If he thought too hard about what it meant to have another angel in LA, he would drive himself mad.

“Well, Corpse, it’s good to meet ya, been told great things,” to him and him alone it’s so clear you’re trying so hard to play it cool, though Corpse couldn’t fault you for that, doing the exact same thing; again, when you speak to him, it’s like his whole being is hit with a rush of warmth; it’s less overwhelming this time, somehow scalding but bearable now.

“I see Sykkuno’s been spreading lies about me,” Corpse fires off instinctually, to which Sykkuno splutters protests at the implication, despite your bright laughter, and Sean’s shout to the contrary.

“Don’t be mean, Corpse, Sykkuno would never lie about you,” Sean is adamant, and Corpse can tell he’s being honest, just as the tell-tale ringing in his ears knows the next words from Sean’s mouth are utter lies; “me on the other hand? Y/N whatever you do, do not listen to Corpse’s music, it’s just the worst.” Before the implication, the reality of what he’s saying sinks in, for just a moment, Corpse feels a rush of affection for Sean, so clearly and earnestly plugging his music, right before your voice re-joins the chat and Corpse remembers exactly who Sean is plugging his music to.

“Fuck you, J- Sean, I do what I want,” while you played along, amused and light, Corpse himself was at a loss for words. You ask him - him specifically, he knows, he knows with absolute certainty you’re asking him - if he’s a musician, and everyone else chimes in before he can even think about finding his voice.

“Don’t search him on Spotify! Don’t do it!” Sean, on the verge of laughter, seems delighted by the turn this conversation has taken as the sound of aggressive typing fills the chat from your end. What the fuck. What the fuck?! No matter his thoughts and opinions about you and your possible supernatural origins, you were still Y/N, literal Grammy winner and Golden Child from the Golden Age of YouTube, playing along as Sean used the world’s worst reverse psychology on you to get you to listen to his music. Oh fuck, this is not how today was meant to go.

“I don’t wanna hold up the game, I’ll listen as I play,” you tell them, almost painfully polite, though Ze agrees to start the next game. If Corpse’s mind wasn’t in the game before, there’s no way in hell it was now.

Three minutes into the first round and he’s failing miserably at card swipe when he chances a look at his chat; people were spamming lyrics from Miss YOU! and Cat Girls Are Ruining My Life! which was sweet but nerve wracking, since he’s pretty sure it means you’ve already listened to one and moved on to the next. If you’re an angel, and you know he’s an angel, what in the hell would you think of his music? Honestly, even if you weren’t an angel, you’re still you, and his music was... well...

When the first meeting is called, and it’s discovered that you’ve been murdered, there’s a strange sense of relief that comes with it, even as he’s being accused of your murder. He’s got a solid alibi, so they end up voting out Sean, and the game continues. Despite the brief reprieve from your possible judgement, his heart still feels as though it’s skittering erratically around his ribcage. 

Rae comes along when he’s doing Simon Says, and shoots his little avatar. The moment he becomes a ghost, he lets out a long breath, giving himself a moment to relax, to collect his thoughts, catching back up with some questions with chat  he hadn’t quite realised he’d been holding, and chances a look at his chat again.

“Of course I’m tense,” he finds himself musing quietly to his chat while the remaining players were arguing over the top of each other in a meeting, “pretty sure most of hyperfocus has been in my Spotify wrapped every year since it was released,” for a few moments, it doesn’t even occur to him what he’s said, or that he’s said it out loud, but when it hits him- oh, oh no, it feels like too much to admit, and he has no idea what to say next, how to backtrack, how to at least pretend like he doesn’t think about you or your music any more than any other person would. However much he may resent certain aspects of it, he still knows he has a reputation to uphold, and panic and denial have never been a part of his reputation.

So he keeps his mouth shut, bites down on the half-hearted excuses and explanations that keep springing to mind, keep pressing against his teeth. He does his tasks quietly, thanks the people donating, and pretend it never happened until the round ends, heart in his throat. He knows, the same way a human survivor in a zombie apocalypse movie knows, that he’s just putting off the inevitable, and that someone’s definitely already clipped it and is probably uploading it to Twitter or Tumblr faster than he could protest.

“Y/N I’m so sorry!” Sean’s the first one to talk when they’re back in the lobby, which leads to your laughter filling the voice chat, telling him it’s okay.

“I didn’t even care, honestly I was just vibing,” the smile in your voice is almost enough to distract from the strained edge to your words, something not quite right, but so faint Corpse isn’t sure if it was really there, and he’s not quite sure anyone else heard it either. Except -

“Y/N?” Sykkuno says your name like it means something that no-one but you and him can decipher, something concerned, almost a question, checking in without being too obvious. 

“Yeah?” There’s that strained tone, just a little more audible this time, before you process who’s talking, how he’d said your name, and - “yeah,” firmer, calmer, a reassurance. 

“Vibing?” And he says it like that was his question all along, like the two of you hadn’t had a full conversation in three words. When the others started asking about what you thought of the music, it’s clear none of them have picked up on the hint of strangeness that had been in your tone, and you deliberate before answering.

“Am I- is it- it’s weird if I quote it, isn’t it -?”

“Jacksepdicy how I whip that!” Sean practically yells into his microphone, cutting you off and somehow making the line sounding even more Irish than he himself did naturally, which startles a laugh from Corpse, “it’s my name in a song, I think about it daily,” he announces, voice oozing pride, and despite the situation and headspace he found himself in, Corpse feels his heart grow warm knowing that even a line like that had brought Sean joy.

“I thought,” you pause for a moment, presumably to double check which song you were about to reference, “I thought Miss YOU was a whole mood,” you admit, the faintest smile in your voice, and something tightens in Corpse’s chest at that.

“You not gonna quote it?” Rae teased.

“Too nervous to follow Sean,” you fired back.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get there one day, Y/N,” Sean laughs fondly, and you all joke around, playing up the bit, while Corpse’s mind is stuck on the fact that you never once addressed him when talking about his music. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it meant he didn’t have to deal with the sudden, fiery sensation your voice brought with it, so not bothered, persay, if anything he’s glad to know you liked it... But it’s weird that he knows so acutely -

“Hey,” and you don’t even say his name, but there’s that feeling again. Each time it grows less intense, like he’s been inoculated, and no instead of his nerves being ablaze, it’s as if he’s suddenly sitting beside a bonfire, each and every time you speak to him. The others voice their confusion at your sudden vaguness, but Corpse answers without even thinking, because of course he knows.

“Yeah?” 

A few moments pass, while the others carry on amongst themselves for the moment. The two of you sit in this one moment together, neither quite sure how to feel about it.

“You’ve been awfully quiet,” you point out, though there was only the barest him of the earlier strangeness in your voice, now overpowered by something that made it almost sound like you were pleased. At this, however, even more confusion arises when the others figure out that Corpse had ‘guessed’ correctly, that you’d been talking to him. But he can’t really hear them, or, well, he finds himself tuning them out, swallowing hard before he pushes to talk.

“Am I not allowed to enjoy the moment?” He asked, trying to ignore the weirdness of it all, keeping his tone light.

“I’m just surprised; it’s your music after all.” 

“You like hearing my voice?” Despite the surprisingly cocky way with which he speaks, he regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth, wincing internally. Of all the people he could have said that to...  

“I never said that,” and though your own tone matched his, something teasing, something that could almost be misconstrued as flirty in the right circumstances, he’d heard the faint thread of discomfort, feeling it all too much himself. But your words, and thankfully your tone, was overshadowed by both Sykkuno and Sean jumping in to assure Corpse that they enjoyed hearing his voice.

“If you and Y/N ever collaborated, you know it’d break the internet, right?” Rae interjects, all kinds of smug and knowing, followed by a chorus of approving voices all broke out in unison as the rest of the lobby considered the possibility.

“Rae, you know our Twitter mentions are going to be going off for the next month now, don’t you?” You groaned.

“Maybe it’s a sign!” Rae exclaimed, delighted, before her tone turns teasing and fond, “and besides, aren’t your mentions always going off?”

[ID: The first four posts on Y/N’s Tumblr dashboard.

blueheart-anon hearing y/n and sean interact again after like 3 years unlocked memories like im a fucking sleeper agent. having war flashbacks to 2017′s ‘y/n is septiplier’s kid’ phase. how do i lock the memories up again im going to die of embarrassment why were we like that [tagged: #y/n #y/n y/l/n #jacksepticeye #sean mcloughlin #i WILL NOT add the ship tag i mentioned #blue talks] [7 notes] [▶️🗩↪️🖤]

fangloriousbastard  ↪️fangloriousbastard fangloriousbastard Rae: Y/N & Corpse Collab When? Y/N: 🔪 - fangloriousbastard Y/N IMMEDIATELY MURDERING RAE AND THEN CORPSE I- - fangloriousbastard Y/N MUTTERING THE JACKSEPDICY LYRIC WHILE MURDERING HIM WTF IS HAPPENING?? - fangloriousbastard SYKKUNO NO BBY IM SO WORRIED - fangloriousbastard Y/N IM BEGGING U TO STOP SAYING CORPSE LYRICS BEFORE U KILL UR FRIENDS - fangloriousbastard WAIT WHAT Y/N AND SYKKUNO BOTH VOTING FOR THEMSELVES INSTEAD OF EACH OTHER - fangloriousbastard “ride or die guess im gonna die” y/N PLEASE U MET HIM YESTERDAY - fangloriousbastard y/n’s still listening to corpse’s music we love to see it - fangloriousbastard WAIT NO ZE KILLED SYKKUNO IN FRONT OF THEM AND THEY WON OMG SO MUCH IS HAPPENING DID THESE MOTHERFUCKERS QUOTE AN ACTUAL THE OFFICE MEME AT EACH OTHER - fangloriousbastard Y/N: YOU KILLED MY BOY Ze: you’ve known him A Day! Y/N: you don’t have all the facts Ze: which are? Y/N: I love him. Y/N: Not in a weird, shippy way tho, but like, come on, man, look at him! Sykkuno’s avatar: 🌱                          👁👄👁 Sykkuno irl: 🥰 - fangloriousbastard ahem anyways corpse & y/n collab when? - y/n 🔪❤️ - fangloriousbastard 👁👄👁 - fangloriousbastard aren’t you supposed to be streaming?? [tagged: #HEWWO??? #among us lb #why do i only remember they’re following me when i post outrageously stupid content #btw y/n if u kill sean again i’ll cry] [43 notes] [▶️🗩↪️❤️]

fyahproof-y/n  ↪️ selkiey/n selkiey/n y/n’s explicit ‘i love him but not in a weird shippy way’ is the LOUDEST fandom vague i’ve ever heard in my life [286 notes] [▶️🗩↪️❤️]

crpshsbnd  ↪️ 221b-theres-a-bee crpshsbnd hope corpse is feeling okay he’s been kinda quiet this stream - 221b-theres-a-bee if someone suggested i make music with a grammy award winning artist i might be kind of quiet too - crpshsbnd asjdskldfjkdsf u right, still, hope that’s the reason. [tagged: #how do i always forget they won a grammy #actually i know why i keep forgetting #because every time i remember they won a grammy i remember the video where they jousted corndogs with joe sugg #and the winner had to deepthroat theirs for the camera #and y/n won but felt like an asshole for making joe deepthroat his corndog alone #and they ended up almost throwing up because they went too far with it #so hot #so talented #so very stupid sometimes] [3 notes] [▶️🗩↪️🖤]

Twitter is kind of a hellscape, Corpse decides, scrolling through his notifications as the stream’s winding down, seeing about a thousand different people tagging both you and him, asking for a collab, or seeing fit to show you both every single time one of you had mentioned the other in stream. Or had simply interacted. He’s not quite sure how to feel about hearing you mutter ‘make it rain, leave her wet, like a snowflake’. Unsurprisingly, a considerable few people had thought to clip the interaction where he’d apparently instinctively known you were talking to him, which he thoroughly regrets. There’s enough speculation about him online already, he doesn’t need people cluing into the fact that he might not be entirely human as well.

So now, he’s sitting idle in the lobby of the game as everyone’s thanking each other, discussing when they might get together to stream again; he’s quiet, disconnected from it all even though he knows he’s still live, he can’t help but stare at his phone, frown at your Twitter profile. You’re not following each other. A lot of his friends follow you, are mutuals with you, but you and he are not following each other, and he’s not sure if he’d like to change that. But it would make sense, right? It’s what’s expected.

Your pinned tweet is the single you released yesterday, which he still hasn’t listened to. The cover is cute; you’re - fuck. He refreshes the page. In the few moments since he’d clicked on your profile and now, you’d tweeted, thanking everyone for joining the stream, while you’re still in his ear, alongside everyone else, distinctly not addressing him. Maybe he should DM you, be upfront, ask about what you are, if his suspicions are true.

He hits the back button and goes back to scrolling through his mentions. 

“Hey.” Your voice, soft and earnest despite that warmth that crackles through him; he’s half distracted, hand moving instinctively to push-to-talk, and -

“Yeah?” God fucking damn it. Not again. He’s really gotta stop answering on instinct just because he knows you’re talking to him. He hates that he knows.

“Good to meet you, Corpse,” and there was a strange sincerity in your voice, and he responds in kind, but his heart’s not in it. There’s too much on his mind, too conflicted in his heart to tell the truth; his own words makes his ears ring. He can’t even lie to himself.

So he says his goodbyes, waits for the lobby to clear out and chatters away to his stream about when he might be on next. Upon ending the stream, he immediately opens the latest email from his producer, his latest project glaring back at him from the screen. 

Yes, his various ailments have his body aching, but the interactions he’s had with you are giving him a headache when he thinks too hard about them, and he feels woefully unproductive. Never Satisfied stares back at him, so close to being finished, mocking him. Scowling harder, he listens to what he has so far, making tweaks and notes, glad for the distraction, glad that his producer had as chaotic of a sleep schedule as he did. This was the home stretch; one more all-nighter and it would finally be done.

He texts Heartful that he’s getting to work.

It’s four in the morning when he finally stops for a break, his good eye starting to itch from staring at a screen for so long. With a yawn, he leans forward, out of his chair, groaning as he straightens up to a mostly standing position. Hands braced against the edge of his desk, he lets out a resigned sigh and wills his wings into existence. The weight of them curled up tight against his back, as was customary for them to be when non-corporeal, has him leaning a little further forward. Another yawn and he lets them uncurl, lets them stretch out behind him, knocking over an empty microphone stand as they went. He’d get that later. A grateful groan escapes him, it’s been far too long since he’d even had a half-assed stretch like this, wings helping to stretch all the aching muscles in his back that were simply impossible to stretch otherwise, no matter how much he’d twist. Even so, his studio wasn’t big enough to properly stretch them, and he really didn’t feel like laying on his living room floor right now; he’s kind of concerned he’d just fall asleep there. Instead, he kicks his chair to the side and hits shuffle on one of his Spotify playlists, doing what he can for himself in the limited space, and finally going to forage through his cupboards for something resembling a meal. Maybe drink water, Rae’s damn voice in his head.

At least with his wings around he didn’t need to bother turning on any lights; he’s gotta find joy in the little things.

Today, or well, the past twenty-four hours, was a series of cruel jokes, he decides, all leading to the moment he curls up his wings and sits back down at his desk. The moment he puts his headphones back on, he’s greeted by your voice, and he almost jumps a foot in the air, concerned that you’d called him.

"- who I became, dreading when the music stops, what if I just fade away?” In the split second he’s realised that it was just a song, just your voice, crooning, gentle and sad against a soft beat and the sound of rain, as i’m going through some stuff playing in his ears, it’s too late. Already his aura had gone off, and his computer cuts out, as his monitor cuts to darkness, so suddenly all he can see is his own, exhausted reflection in the monitor, backlit by his own wings... Not exactly flattering. 

Thankfully, it was only his computer that was affected, as he can still hear his refrigerator humming in the other room, so he wedges himself beneath his desk to reset the breaker for the power board that his whole system was connected to, grumbling to himself the whole time. 

If he was being honest, however, he was glad he didn’t have to hear more than a few seconds of your song. For a long time it had been one of his favourites, though at this point he’d rather die than admit that. Yes, it’s a good song, but it’s the last thing he needs to hear right now. If he listened to you voice half the fears he still tried to ignore, well right now it may kill him, and he was so close to being finished with Never Satisfied. So close.

Instead, he gives himself the moment in which his system is rebooting to scroll through Twitter and Instagram on his phone, checking his mentions for good fanart to appreciate, only to stumble across one of your stan accounts tagging both you and him in a clip that he hadn’t seen earlier. He’s not sure what possesses him to click it.

“Don’t follow me baby, swear I’m going to hell,” Corpse’s own words leave your lips as you’re focused on the game, on being imposter, leading Sykkuno into electrical to fix lights, and something about it sounds wrong and he can’t quite put his finger on it. He’d heard other lines of his leave your mouth, clips from the stream he’d been tagged in, and it always manages to surprise him. When you sing his songs, even just a little bit, something in the back of his mind, something that had appreciated you as an artist all this time, it’s grateful, it’s excited, it’s overwhelmed. He wouldn’t deny that part of himself, he couldn’t, it didn’t feel right, but upon hearing this line, that grateful part was overshadowed by a visceral bitterness.

The line had been a moment of self deprecation, the only Angel he knew of who, granted it was by some of his own choices, was almost certainly going to Hell, if you believe in that sort of thing of course. But you? Every single part of you seemed to be the exact antithesis to him; you’re what an Angel should be, and him? Well, the line said it all really. It’s just... it feels like you’re mocking him at every turn now that he knows, or well, strongly suspects. With evidence. Which you’re probably not; if you’re an Angel, you wouldn’t go out of your way to mock another angel, so now he’s all in his head, frustrated at himself for being frustrated at you for just... liking his song? 

He really should message you about earlier, clear things up, get out of his own mind and stop jumping to conclusions. Finding another angel was big, no matter his personal reservations, he should try and take this opportunity, right? Except that you hadn’t reached out to him either.

Damn it; he knows he needs to stop thinking about you and focus on his own shit. He turns off his phone and gently tosses it to the floor, out of sight out of mind. 

Maybe he’ll feel better when he finishes his song, feel more productive, feel... complete for just a few moments. Maybe he’d stop comparing himself to you. Maybe.

[ID: Two tweets, one from @sp00kybihh, and one from @yourtwitter, followed by a retweet and reply conversation between @ashton5sos, @yourtwitter, and @y/nirwin.

@sp00kybihh: why did y/n’s smile every time corpse just knew they were talking to him without them having to say anythign make me feel things?? u no we love day 1 ride-or-die y/nkunno, but corpse & y/n just seem to get each other wtf 🥺🥺

@yourtwitter: australians are asleep post forbidden youngblood cover

(Thumbnail of Y/N sitting in front of the camera, dressed casually, visible from the chest up. There is a black microphone on a stand in front of them that they’re holding. Their mouth is open, as if halfway through singing, their eyes are closed, their background is a simple, white wall. Above Y/N, in black, VCR font, is the word ‘youngblood’. There is a large play button in blue and white in the middle of the thumbnail, to indicate that it is a link to a video.

Link: youngblood - 5 seconds of summer | y/n y/l/n cover i miss my boys. i miss people. thank you 5sos for being cool about me covering this <3</i> twitter: @yourtwitter 🔗youtube.com)

@ashton5sos retweeted the link and commented: Y/N you said it was gonna be low effort, this is killer! All it’s missing is some drums. Reminds me, I’m still sad we never got to record that thing we wrote in New York. | @yourtwitter: ASHTON IT IS 8AM I HAVE HAD NO SLEEP AND WAS NOT EXPECTING SUCH A QUICK RESPONSE I WOULD DIE FOR YOU | @yourtwitter: also lmfao i forgot about that ny thing that was good, from what i remember. do u still have that recording of us?? i may or may not have forgotten everything about that night apart from it being a blast #bringbacknewyork | @ashton5sos: Calum has it but also its 2am and he’s asleep, which you should also do. You know the boys are gonna love this... #bringbacknewyork | @y/nirwin: thank u both i have decided to pass away effective immediately #bringbacknewyork

End ID.]

[captainsimagines]

“I Could Fall in Love”

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I hope you enjoy this little drabble as much as I enjoyed writing it. Cutting it close to midnight on Valentine’s Day but hey, it still counts. xx Moni

BUCKY BARNES X READER DRABBLE

Warnings: none, simply fluff!

Word Count: 3000+

Song Fanfic: Listen and enjoy!

~

     It wasn’t that you hated Valentine’s Day, you just didn’t see it as purely romantic. In your opinion, it was supposed to represent so much more than just romantic love. Friendships, beginnings and endings, the actual historical event, elementary school card giving, baked goods, and a nice dinner for either yourself or in the presence of others. So, no - you didn’t hate it. In fact, you actually quite enjoyed the giddy feeling of seeing other couples go all out for a single day, the sweets that were always available, and the awesome discounts. 

     “Come with us!” Natasha whined, filling up her glass with some oat milk and passing Steve some utensils at the same time. She wasn’t whining excessively, as that wasn’t in her nature, but she did raise her voice as her tone shifted from playful to annoyance. You rolled your eyes and chewed on your bagel, shaking your head dramatically. You plastered on your best grin, but it was overpowered by the massive chunk of bagel in your mouth. So you sat there, stupid bagel-filled grin covering your face, and tiny giggles threatening to escape as Natasha’s face also dropped into a silly one. 

     The rest of the crew was planning on attending a private Valentine’s Day party hosted by a close business partner of Tony’s. It sounded like a lot of fun and a perfect excuse to dress-up, but you had a tiny mission to go on before it. It was not a ‘mission-mission’ so to say- more like a ‘get in, get out, this will literally take two seconds and I could do this any other day’ type of mission. Natasha had given you such a disapproving look when you told her what your actual plans were for tonight, but she expected nothing less. You always had something else up your sleeve. 

     And that you did. 

     Since your mission was a quickie, you would be able to return to the compound before everyone else and bake your special pink cupcakes they all knew and loved. A sweet mixture of vanilla and strawberry, no flavor overpowering the other. You had recently perfected the recipe, only having Natasha and Bucky taste the final product, and because of their genuine surprise and praise, you were ready to bake dozens for everyone proudly.

     She finished her glass and went to wash it. “Still, I think you’re missing out! I hear the food is gonna be great!”

     You shrugged, “Eh, we have food here.”

     You heard Natasha release a tiny scoff, “Please tell me your actual reason before I laugh too loudly and wake everyone up.”

     “I swear, I’ve been putting off this mission for so long that tonight just seemed like the perfect time. Everyone’s occupied- I don’t know. I mean, criminals gotta get laid too, right?”

      Natasha snorted, “That’s very true.” She eyed you suspiciously while drying her glass. 

     “You know, you and Barnes are the only one’s not attending. Obviously, his excuse is that he’s literally on a mission right now but you see my point.”

     “No, I don’t see your point.”

     Natasha smiled, as if secretly knowing your other very valid reason for not attending the party. “We all have dates. You know that if he were here you would be going with him, even as friends. But since you would literally be the only one of us without a date, it seems reasonable you wouldn’t want to attend.”

    Okay, she hit that spot-on. 

    You groaned and lay your arms across the counter dramatically, “Stop, it’s scary how right you are all the time.”

    Natasha laughed and rounded the counter, going over to pat your shoulders. “I’m not making you go. Don’t worry. Just give yourself some self-care and I’ll see you tonight to let you know I got home safe.”

     You nodded and waved goodbye to her, ready to finish the everything bagel you had abandoned. 

          Bucky wasn’t one to dress-up for a night out anymore. He just didn’t have the motivation to do anything unless it involved stake-outs, knitting, painting, and binge-watching some stupid series you were watching. It always happened the same way, too. You would be casually chilling in the main common room of the compound, barely starting the first episode of a new series with stacks of junk food ready for your eager taste buds, when Bucky would randomly come in and ask what you were watching. And the next thing Bucky knew, you two were discussing the hidden elements of The Crown and debating whether a scene actually happened the way it was portrayed. By God, how much Bucky absolutely detested Prince Charles. 

     And you were so determined to knit that sweater for Natasha by her birthday that you came to Bucky’s room five times a day now rather than your usual three. But Bucky was extremely patient, helping you hook the remaining yarn that kept falling off your needles. Each time you pouted over the ‘horrible knot you made’ or when the yarn would tangle, Bucky would grin and tease you about, his stomach twisting pleasurably.

     And each time he would reach over to help you fix it, your heart fluttered ever so slightly. 

     Bucky had actually planned on taking you to that Valentine’s Day party but his mission carried on longer than it was supposed to. Rather than returning a day before the party, he would now be returning towards the middle of it. He wondered if you were still going to go, but he highly doubted it. Not because you had told him explicitly, but because you had joked that if he wasn’t able to go, then ‘why would you bother?’. 

     To see you in that red dress you had jokingly placed over your already clothed body and modeled for him - Yeah, he absolutely hated he was missing this party tonight. 

     His mission had just ended and he was currently on the flight home, resting in his tactical gear but with the headphones you let him borrow in each ear. He chuckled lowly, realizing that most things he had in his possession, whether that be the headphones, hair bands, lotion, and Spotify account, all belonged to you. It brought him some comfort as he fixed himself in his seat, settling on your ‘Love me please?’ playlist to match the special holiday. 

     Lovebug by the Jonas Brothers. Tonight by FM Static. Oh, dozens by Taylor Swift. You’ll Be In My Heart by Phil Collins. And a whole lot of Selena songs. 

     There was one song that caught his attention, as if the title spoke to him. It just made sense. He clicked it, surprised by the upbeat beginning and rhythm of the drums, finally closing his eyes as he heard the melody from the acoustic guitar. 

     He lost count of how many times he replayed that one song as his plane touched land. He quickly woke himself up and gathered his things, ready to jump into a warm shower and watch an episode of The Crown behind your back. The drive to the compound was short and he entered the living quarters somewhat alert. There were no sounds his super soldier ears could hear besides the clicks of keyboards by overtime workers and computers humming. Kind of sad and joyful at once, Bucky realized he was alone for the first time in a long time. Maybe he would try that face mask you had urged him to buy tonight. And those very comfortable pajamas. 

          Ever the procrastinator, you never did go on that mission.

     You were humming along to your Valentine’s playlist as you cracked the eggs into your bowl. You stirred quickly, bowl in your arms and a strike of flour along your unknowing cheek. You had your earphones in, enjoying the solace of such a peaceful night. The mix was coming together nicely and as you waited for the oven to preheat, you took out all of your cupcake supplies to set on the kitchen counter. 

     You could have sworn you heard some noises a few doors down so you took one earphone out to listen closely. At first you heard nothing, but you could have sworn you heard the likes of a toothbrush tapping against a bathroom counter. But as you stood there comically, bowl in your arms and whisk held up like a weapon, you settled on no disturbance. 

     You set the bowl down quietly and ran over to the door, looking down the hallway. Once you saw it was completely empty, you couldn’t contain the grin that spread across your face. You raced back to the kitchen and called for Friday. 

     “Friday? Could you please connect my phone to the living room speakers, please?”

     “Done.”

     You scrolled through your playlist and settled on a song that would for sure damage your vocal cords but delight you nonetheless. 

“I could lose my heart tonight

If you don’t turn and walk away

     You swayed around the kitchen as you traveled to grab each new ingredient, singing at the appropriate level the song called for. 

Because the way I feel I might

Lose control and let you stay

     Bucky had just finished brushing his teeth and putting a warm pair of socks on when he heard Friday play the exact song he had been listening to for the past two hours. At first he wondered if Friday had mistakenly connected his phone to the speakers but realized his phone didn’t even have the Spotify app open. He quickly walked down the cold floors of the hallway, his warm socks somewhat doing their job. He stopped at the living room entrance and leaned his shoulder on the doorway, beaming with a huge grin. 

Because I could, take you in my arms

And never let go

     You twirled around and used the whisk as a microphone, and to both your and Bucky’s surprise, hit every note perfectly. Bucky knew you were a great singer and although he would never admit it, he had heard you singing in the shower quite a few times. It was impossible not to at the level of volume you sang, but each time he would come into your room to grab something random or to ask you a question, he would sit outside the shower door and listen to your angelic voice as it sailed through the steamy air and into Bucky’s ears. But here you were, belting out the exact song Bucky had just learned all the lyrics for on his way home.

I could fall, in love, with you

     It was in that moment that Bucky realized he was in his ‘comfortable pajamas’, which consisted of a loose long sleeve and bottoms set, with a nice dark blue color and white stitching along the pockets and buttons. But the sleeves, incredibly so, were far too long for his arms so he would crunch them up in his palms. And his socks had stripes on them. But he remained still on the door frame, watching you sway to the music and enjoying the scent of your first batch of cupcakes already in the oven.

I could only wonder how touching you

Would make me feel

     You halted immediately when you saw his tall form resting on the door frame, a giant grin plastered on his newly shaven face. You yelped in surprise, putting down the whisk and patting your hands on your little green apron. 

     “Bucky, oh my god! Say something if you’re going to enter a room!”

     Bucky just shrugged, walking over to the kitchen counter, eyes never leaving yours. He leaned over and placed his chin in both his palms, smiling as the music continued playing in the background. “I like this song.”

     You squinted at him, “You know this song?”

     Bucky nodded, holding his hand out now for you to take. “Like I said, I like this song.”

But if I take that chance right now

Tomorrow will you want me still?

     You reached over hesitantly and let Bucky lead you over to the carpet. He wrapped one arm around your waist and rested the other higher up on your back. You wrapped your arms around his neck, allowing for his large frame to sway you both to the rhythm of the song. 

     “Nice pajamas.”

     “Shut up.”

     The room was dimly lit, cupcake aroma circling you two, and his snuggly pajamas seemed to also provide you the warmth you were previously getting from the oven. You smiled up at him, low giggles emitting from your lips. He did the same, enjoying the feel of your body pressed up against his. 

So I should, keep this to myself

And never let you know

     “When did you get back?” you asked, reaching up to touch his shaven cheek. You were undoubtedly curious about the feeling.

     Bucky let you roam your hand all over, “About an hour ago. I didn’t think anyone was here.”

     You chuckled, “I am! I told you I wasn’t going to bother going to that party if my plus one wasn’t coming!”

     Bucky lifted his arm and twirled you slowly, happy that you followed his lead. “So, I’m your plus one now?”

     You rolled your eyes, “Always.”

I could fall, in love, with you

     “How did you even hear about this song?” you asked, hands now resting comfortably on Bucky’s chest. He had his arms wrapped around you, hugging you to his chest as you two swayed. 

      “We share a Spotify account, doll.”

     “Yeah, but it’s a love playlist. Were you just in the mood for some ballads and stumbled across this one?”

      “Exactly. It’s quite the tearjerker.”

And I know it’s not right

And I guess I should try

To do what I should do

     He looked so relaxed at this moment, fresh and calm, enjoying the dance he pulled you into. He was resting his chin on the top of your head so you felt his little puffs of air escape his nostrils. And as he breathed in, you could feel his chest rise and lower below your palms. You were tempted to reach up and grab his face, pull him into yourself and share a sweet kiss, but you decided against it. For some reason you knew that this was different. You had snuggled before during naps or binge watching, but they never had a romantic undertone. And if you acted upon your desires, you were frightened it just might ruin your friendship. It took you two years to build up such a rapport with this man, and dare you say you were extremely proud to harbor some of his deepest secrets, and him yours. But his breathing calmed you immensely, as if the gentle rhythm was enough to put you to sleep, and you wondered if he was thinking about the same thing. 

But I fall in love, with you

So I should, keep this to myself

And never let you know

     Bucky seemed to hug you tighter as the lyrics encircled the room. Over the last few weeks he had felt a shift in your relationship, where sharing food was no longer as innocent as it seemed, barging into each other’s room was not seen as drastic, and partaking in each other’s hobbies was never a bore. Steve had commented on it before, asking Bucky if there was something between you two. And Bucky confided in both Steve and Sam, hands pulling at his hair as he paced in a safe room and his friends sitting patiently on the lone couch. They let him act out his worries in peace, and once Bucky tired himself out they both explained how he should ask you out or how to bring up the topic with you. Bucky listened intently and pushed down the tiny voice in his head that joked about Steve being the one to give him romantic advice. But if he ended up with you on his arm after this little pep talk, it would all be worth it. 

     But now the song was coming closer to its end, and he knew that if he didn’t act now then he probably wouldn’t have the courage to bring it up ever again. He leaned down to your left ear, and whispered the lyrics to you. In Spanish. 

Siempre estoy soñando en ti

Besando mis labios, acariciando mi piel

Abrazándome con ansias locas

Imaginando que me amas

Como yo podía amar a ti

[I am always dreaming of you

Kissing my lips and touching my skin

Anxiously hugging me

Imagining that you love me

Like how I love you]

     You knew Bucky knew several languages. You knew. But it made you incredibly excited and hot that he specifically knew Spanish. He spoke in such a gentle manner, breath hitting your skin and voice practically drowning your mind. It was all foggy for a moment, but you quickly refocused your attention on his face. 

     “Oh, wow.”

      Bucky smiled, “What?”

     You scoffed and swatted his chest lightly, “Don’t ‘what’ me! You just confessed you like me!”

     Bucky pushed you away for another twirl under his arm, but kept you at arms length once you turned around. “No, I confessed I love you.”

     You stumbled slightly, staring at him with wide eyes. You thought about how absurd that confession was, but as quickly as that thought entered your mind, it left - because let’s face it, you did know each other for over two years and were best friends. This was right. This felt right. 

     “You love me?”

     Bucky breathed in deeply but your reaction didn’t change his mind. It was now or never. “Yeah, I do. Seemed like the moment to tell you.”

     You grinned, pushing your body forward to be engulfed by his strong arms once more. “And to think you could have just told me at this damn party when I was looking all hot without freaking flour on my face.”

     Bucky let out a loud laugh that originated from the pit of his stomach and reached his hands up to your face. He pulled you in and kissed you sweetly, the taste of your lip gloss driving him wild. He tasted like toothpaste and chapstick, a perfect combination for your superhero. 

     “I love you, too.” Bucky let his eyes close in complete bliss. 

     You could have stayed like that forever, but as you left his lips and looked up at him, you suddenly remembered you never set a timer. 

     You pushed Bucky away, your sudden strength sending him backwards onto the couch. “My cupcakes!”

      And as you rushed to pull the burnt tops from the oven, you could hear Bucky slide off the couch and hit the floor, his laugh louder than the speakers. 

I could fall, in love

With you.”

~

Happy Valentine’s Day. All the love. xxMoni