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arc852 · 18 hours ago

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Fault 3/3

Summary: Joel and Jimmy finally have that talk.

Warnings: self-blame, self-deprecation, slight anger and jealousy, and crying

Word Count: 4649

Part 1 | Part 2 | AO3 Link

Sorry this took so long! My brain has been mush when it's come to writing lately. But it's finally done! I hope you guys enjoy!

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Tango kept the hand holding Jimmy close to his chest as his other hand curled around him in the front, blocking him from view. He walked down the hallway, doing his best to keep steady and being wary and mindful of his surroundings. His eyes were constantly looking around the hall, just waiting for someone’s door to open or for someone to round the corner. Thankfully, the hallway stayed empty as Tango completed the short journey to Grian and Joel’s door.

After giving one last glance toward both ends of the hallway, he removed the hand curled around the front of Jimmy in order to use it to knock on the door. Though his hand quickly returned back to position right after. He looked down, sharing a small glance with Jimmy in the short time they were waiting for an answer. Jimmy smiled up at him and Tango couldn’t help but smile back.

His eyes snapped back up to the door though as it opened to reveal Grian. “Oh, hey!” Grian said with a small smile.

“Hey, Grian! I’m guessing Joel told you, I mean, it’d be weird if he didn’t, but I was hanging out with Jimmy and am just here to drop him back off.” Tango explained and then once again lifted his curled hand to reveal the borrower. Jimmy waved at Grian and Grian’s smile widened a bit more as he saw him.

“Yeah, Joel told me. You guys were gone for longer than I thought you’d be though. You guys have fun?” Grian asked though Tango knew the question was mostly directed at Jimmy. So Tango kept quiet as he let Jimmy answer.

“Yeah! It was great!” Jimmy exclaimed. Tango could feel his heart warm at the confirmation that Jimmy had just as much fun as he had. He nodded along in agreement, once again letting his eyes wander down to Jimmy, looking at him fondly.

Movement, however, caught his attention and he looked back up to see Grian holding out his hand. Ah, right. He got the hint. He hesitated for only a moment before he carefully moved his own hand, the one holding Jimmy of course, up against Grian’s in order to give Jimmy the chance to swap hands. He watched as Jimmy stood, stumbling just slightly but quickly catching his balance, and walked onto Grian’s hand.

Tango patiently waited, only taking his hand back once he was sure Jimmy was fully settled onto Grian’s. As he moved his hand back to his side, Grian gave him a strange look, an almost confused looking one. Tango blinked, having no idea what that kind of look could be for and feeling just as confused himself.

He decided to ignore it, turning his attention back to Jimmy instead.

“Thanks again for hanging out with me Jimmy.” Tango said with a hint of shyness in his smile, rubbing the back of his head. “It really was fun.”

“We’ll have to do it again!” Jimmy said and once again Tango felt his chest warm again, feeling a bit lighter knowing Jimmy wanted to hang out with him again. Tango grinned as he felt himself bounce a bit at the thought.

“Absolutely.” Tango agreed.

“You’re welcome to come around any time, Tango.” Grian said as he moved the hand holding Jimmy close to his chest, mirroring the way Tango had been holding him just a moment ago. “Just give us a bit of warning first.”

“Of course! I’ll shoot you guys a text if I ever feel like I need some Jimmy and me time.” Tango joked, which was followed by Jimmy laughing. Tango grinned, proud of himself for making Jimmy laugh like that.

As Jimmy’s laughter died down, he looked back up at Tango. “And I’ll have Joel or Grian send a text if I feel the same.” He was grinning, following along with Tango’s joke, but like Tango, also being completely honest.

“Sounds like a plan then.” Tango said, shooting Jimmy with a single finger gun and a wink, which made Jimmy chuckle once again. Tango’s grin then lessened only slightly as he continued. “Good luck by the way, with the…ya know.” Tango said, being vague since he wasn’t sure if Jimmy wanted him to be the one to tell Grian about the talk Jimmy was planning on having with Joel or not.

Grian looked between the two of them in confusion but Jimmy just nodded. “Thanks.” He said simply and Tango knew he was probably correct in not saying anything. He’s sure once Jimmy and Grian were in private that Jimmy would ask for his help and advice in going about it though.

“Course.” He stuck his hands in his pockets and smiled. “Well, I better get going. I’ll see you later?” Tango still asked, maybe just wanting that little bit of extra confirmation even if he didn’t really need it.

“See you later!” Jimmy said, excitement flickering in his eyes at the thought.

“See you around.” Grian chimed in and Tango gave him a nod and a smile too.

Tango backed away from the door as Grian made to close it. Sending one last wave to the two, though mostly Jimmy, right before the door closed fully. He let out a little happy sigh and was about to start walking back to his dorm before he paused, hearing footsteps behind him. He couldn’t help but turn back around, only to see none other than Joel round the corner.

They both froze as their eyes locked and Tango was suddenly reminded of the bit of hostility Joel had shown toward him earlier.

Joel, meanwhile, as soon as he had seen Tango, tried his best to keep his face carefully neutral. Just because he knew what and why he was feeling the way he was, did not mean he was done with feeling them. No matter how much he didn’t want to feel it, he still felt that spark of jealousy rush through him at the sight of his friend.

Joel took a deep breath, trying his best to not let his feelings get the better of him this time. As he did so, his eyes wandered down from Tango’s face to his hands but they appeared to be empty. Considering he was at Joel’s door, he could only assume he had already dropped Jimmy off. Unless Jimmy was in Tango’s pocket, but Joel highly doubted that, what with the way Tango was currently hoodie-less.

Joel looked back up to meet Tango’s eyes again, wincing as Tango’s eyes seemed to dart between him and the opposite end of the hall. Yeah, fair enough. But even still, Joel had to make things right. And not just with Jimmy. So, Joel was the first one to move, coming closer to both Tango and his door.

“Tango.” Joel greeted with a nod, stopping only a few feet in front of Tango. He kept his voice low, not wanting Grian or Jimmy to overhear and open the door before he had a chance to talk with Tango a bit.

Tango nodded back. “Joel.” He then titled his head. “What are you doing out here?” Tango asked. He had been under the impression that he was inside the dorm already, though he supposed it made sense now that Grian was the one to open the door.

Joel simply shrugged. “Needed a walk.” He mumbled a bit, turning his gaze away for a moment. He had been hoping to be back before Tango dropped Jimmy off, but the walk had been good for him and he’s sure this talk would be too. He just…had to get himself to the actual talking part. He flicked his eyes back toward Tango.

“I’m…sorry. About earlier.” Joel said, watching closely as Tango’s eyes widened a bit, not having expected the apology. It looked as though Tango wanted to say something but Joel continued before Tango could, wanting to finish the apology first. “I was angry and-and scared. And…maybe a bit jealous too,” he mumbled that bit more to himself, though Tango still clearly heard it. “But I shouldn’t have acted that way toward you either way. So…yeah. Sorry.” He finished lamely.

His gaze had drifted to looking at anything other than Tango when he started speaking, afraid of how Tango might react to his apology. A hand suddenly came down onto his shoulder, causing Joel to jump and finally drift his gaze back up to Tango’s face. Joel looked at Tango with wide eyes but felt relieved to see a soft smile had settled on Tango’s features. “Hey, I’m not saying this excuses all that but…I get it dude. Trust me.” Tango said before letting his smile grow a bit more. “And I forgive you.”

Joel…had honestly not expected to be forgiven so easily. Especially with such a bad apology. But Tango didn’t seem like he was lying. Well, if that was the case, this went way better than he thought it was going to. Hopefully that was foreshadowing for his talk with Jimmy. “Thanks.” Joel said after a moment, letting himself smile back at Tango.

“Dude, of course. You’re my friend and clearly going through something. Of course I’m gonna forgive you.” Tango said before taking his hand off of Joel’s shoulder. “Maybe just ease up on the snappiness next time?”

Joel winced but nodded. “Yeah, no, totally.” He could do that.

Tango nodded. “Then we’re all good.”

Man, Joel had the best friends a guy like him could want, huh?

Grian, Jimmy, Impulse and Tango, they were all there for him in different ways and maybe Joel was just now fully realizing that. Speaking of Impulse though, Joel reminded himself of his earlier conversation with him. “Hey uh, I actually ran into Impulse while I was out walking. He said we should plan to hang out, the four of us. Would uh, would you be…down?”

Tango grinned. “Yeah man, that sounds fun!”

Joel smiled, why had he been so nervous to ask? “We’ll have to text about it later then.” He was looking forward to it, the four of them hanging out. It…would be nice if Jimmy could join them, but obviously that probably wouldn’t be happening any time soon.

Joel glanced over at his door, his smile fading a bit as he realized it was probably time to head in. He sighed. “Well…I better get in there. I have a uh…a talk I gotta have with Jimmy.”

Tango’s eyes widened, surprised but happy that Joel seemed to be taking the initiative to speak with Jimmy about how he’s been acting. At least, that’s what Tango’s assuming the talk is going to be about. He’ll have to ask Jimmy about it later, but he’s pretty sure considering Joel had already taken the initiative with Tango himself. Tango smiled.

“Good luck.” Tango said. “But I don’t think you’ll need it.”

Joel hummed, a lot of thoughts circling in his head. “You think?”

Tango shrugged. “I know.”

Joel bit his lip, not knowing how Tango could possibly know. “How?” He asked and Tango raised his eyebrow, sending him a look.

“Cause it’s Jimmy.” Tango said and oh. Yeah. Tango did actually have a point there. At the very least, it made Joel feel a bit better about all this.

“Right.” He said. “Right.” This was Jimmy and he knew Jimmy. Things would be okay. He just had to keep telling himself that. “I’ll catch you later then.”

“See ya.” Tango said with a little wave before turning around and heading back to his dorm. Joel watched him go for a moment, but didn’t wait for Tango to turn the corner before unlocking his door and heading inside.

As he closed the door behind him, his ears perked up at the sound of a few hushed voices. He turned around and scanned the room, only to see Grian and Jimmy at Grian’s desk. Grian was leaned back in his chair, his laptop open but pushed back to give Jimmy room to stand where the laptop had once been. They appeared to be talking, but when Joel walked a bit further into the room they paused and looked over at him.

Well, now Joel just felt awkward.

Grian gave Joel a little head nod in greeting before turning back to Jimmy. “Don’t worry, everything will be fine.” He said before pushing off the desk and standing up. He walked past Joel, Joel moving out of the way when he realized Grian was heading for the door.

Joel glanced over at Jimmy and then back to Grian, confused in more ways than one. “Where are you going?” Joel asked, but Grian just shrugged, a small smile on his face.

“Just giving you two some privacy.” Was all Grian said before he was gone. Joel hearing the lock click into place.

“Right…” Joel muttered to himself. He had half expected Grian to stick around for Joel’s talk with Jimmy, Grian could be nosy like that sometimes. But he was glad Grian decided to leave it to them this time. He mentally braced himself before turning to look back at Jimmy. He was still in the same spot, looking up at Joel with eyes filled with what seemed to be…determination? Weird.

Joel took in a deep breath, psyching himself up for this. He took a few steps closer, until he was right up against Grian’s chair. He gripped the top of it to ground himself and was just about to open his mouth and start talking when, surprisingly, Jimmy beat him to it.

“Joel…what’s been going on with you lately?” Jimmy asked, not unkindly but Joel couldn’t help but tense up anyway. “Because you’ve just seemed kind of…off lately.” Jimmy continued. Joel wanted to cover his face in his hands and groan and had to fight the urge to do so. Was he just…that obvious? At the very least he thought he was doing a good job of hiding it from Jimmy. But apparently not. And that just made him feel even worse.

Joel let out a deep sigh. At least Jimmy bringing it up first gave him a good place to start. “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.” Joel said and suddenly he couldn’t look into Jimmy’s eyes anymore. “I…I’m sorry.”

Jimmy blinked, looking confused all of a sudden. “You’re sorry? For what?”

Joel winced. “For what happened. For not…for letting you fall out of my pocket.” Joel said, his grip around the back of Grian’s chair becoming tighter. He let his eyes wander back to the borrower, too curious of Jimmy’s reaction. When he saw that Jimmy’s eyes were wide with what Joel could only assume was surprise, well, Joel couldn’t say he had been expecting that.

“For letting me-what? Joel, you didn’t let anything happen, it was an accident!” Jimmy exclaimed, raising his hands up as he did. His hands quickly fell and Jimmy’s wide-eyed expression grew softer, sadder. “You do know that right? That it wasn’t your fault.”

Joel was silent. He couldn’t very well answer that the way Jimmy wanted him to without lying.

Jimmy seemed to deflate at his silence. “Joel…”

“It’s hard to see how it isn’t my fault.” Joel said after a few moments of silence had passed. Joel had done everything wrong. He hadn’t been careful, he had been going too fast, he hadn’t had his hand in the pocket with Jimmy…Everything pointed to him being the one at fault for what had happened.

Jimmy looked at Joel sadly, mind racing for something he could do. As the idea came to him, he stood up straighter, his determination back like a fire. “Joel.” Jimmy said in order to gain back Joel’s attention. As soon as the human’s eyes were back on him, Jimmy continued. “Come here.” Jimmy practically ordered. Joel blinked, taken aback by the sudden command but he obeyed. Stepping around the chair and coming right up next to the desk, looming over Jimmy in a way that Joel usually tried to avoid nowadays.

Jimmy nodded at him but he was far from done. “Hand.” Jimmy said next, pointing to right in front of him. Joel was still trying to figure out where this was going but he laid his hand flat at where Jimmy had pointed anyway, his palm up. As soon as his hand had come to a stop, Jimmy wasted no time climbing up and onto Joel’s hand. He took a seat in the center of Joel’s palm before looking back up at him. “Up.”

Joel couldn’t help the deadpan look and the slight curve of his lips even as he did what Jimmy asked. “I’m not a dog you know.” Joel said quietly, just a hint of his usual sarcasm. Jimmy also let his lips curve into a brief smile before his features schooled back into his look of determination. Joel brought him up, making sure his hand was as steady as ever before stopping at chest level. But it seemed like that wasn’t enough.

“Higher.” Jimmy said, still pointing up. Joel did so, bringing his hand to eye level. “Now closer.” Jimmy said and Joel was getting increasingly more and more confused about what the heck Jimmy was doing. But he continued to do as Jimmy said. He brought Jimmy closer to his face and paused when any closer would have Jimmy actually touching his face.

Though that seemed to be exactly Jimmy’s plan.

As soon as he stopped his hand, Jimmy stood up and went forward, gripping the top sides of his nose. The sudden closeness of the borrower forced Joel to look at him cross-eyed and caused him to tense, not expecting Jimmy to do something like that. He was afraid that one wrong twitch would have Jimmy falling so he carefully moved his other hand underneath the one holding Jimmy, just in case. “J-Jimmy?” Joel stuttered out, wondering what the heck the borrower was doing.

He could feel the slight pressure on his nose increase just a bit more as Jimmy looked him right in the eyes. “It wasn’t your fault.” Jimmy said sternly, his tone leaving no room for arguments.

Joel tried anyway. “But-”

“Nope,” Jimmy cut him off. “It wasn’t your fault and I don’t blame you for it. Of course I don’t blame you for it, it was an accident.” Jimmy’s expression turned sad once more, though his determination hadn’t gone away either. “And I’m fine. Everything worked out and nothing too bad actually happened.”

Joel couldn’t help but look away, huffing a bit. Though it was hard when he couldn’t move his head and Jimmy was literally taking up almost his entire vision. “Only because of Tango…” Joel muttered. But of course, Jimmy heard it and it caused his previous look of confusion to come back.

“Wait, what?” Jimmy asked. He briefly leaned back due to his confusion but very quickly went back and leaned in even closer, forcing Joel to look back at him again. “What about Tango?”

What about Tango? Did Jimmy not see it? The fact that Tango was the whole reason Jimmy was even okay in the first place? “Come on, Jim. The only reason ‘nothing too bad’ even happened was because Tango was there to save you.” Joel said, a lot more snappy than he had wanted.

Jimmy blinked and the fact that Joel was making Jimmy so confused was starting to get to him a bit. “And you’re…upset with Tango because of that?” Okay, when Jimmy said it like that it really didn’t make any sense. No wonder Jimmy was so confused.

Joel winced and sighed and if Jimmy wasn’t right up on his face he would have used his free hand to rub at his face. “No. Yes? It’s…complicated?” Joel was doing a terrible job explaining this so far. “...That was one of the other things I wanted to bring up, actually.”

In order to continue talking properly though, he needed Jimmy not so close to his face. So, carefully, he brought his free hand up and pinched Jimmy’s sides. He didn’t use the pinched grip to lift him though, just to move him away from his face and back into the center of his palm. Jimmy tensed slightly as Joel’s fingers pinched him but otherwise he simply let it happen. As soon as Jimmy was away from his face, he let go of his pinched grip and then brought his hand farther down so it was resting back at chest level.

“There’s…a lot more I have to bring up too.” Joel said, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. “I ran into Impulse earlier and he helped me figure out what to say but it’s still…hard.” He finished lamely before sighing again. “But yeah, I think I’ve been feeling a bit…jealous lately. Of Tango.”

“Jealous? Because he was the one who saved me?” Jimmy asked, still looking just as confused as he sounded. Joel shrugged.

“I mean, yeah…” Joel groaned and shook his head. Why were feelings so hard to explain? “But also like today, you wanted to hang out with him. And…and maybe it was my fault for assuming, but I really thought you would say no to him? Because of what happened? And when you didn’t, I just…I don’t know. I was upset.”

“...I did notice that you didn’t seem to want me to go with Tango.” Jimmy said after a moment.

Joel winced. Yet another thing he hadn’t hid as well as he thought he had. “I’m sorry.” Gosh, why was he so bad at this? “But that’s not all of it. I’ve been mad at myself because I blame myself for what happened, I’ve been jealous of Tango for being the one to save you, but I’ve also been…” Joel trailed off, looking away.

Jimmy stood up in Joel’s palm, which caused Joel’s eyes to flick back over to him. His other hand was already coming up close just in case Jimmy lost his balance. “Also been what?” Jimmy asked, his voice soft, inviting Joel to continue.

Joel let out a small sigh. “I’ve been…scared. Scared of you being hurt or worse, and…and scared of you leaving.”

“Leaving?” Jimmy’s eyes were wide again. “Joel, I wouldn’t-”

“But you could.” And oh, saying it out loud was causing a few tears to leak from Joel’s eyes. “I-I couldn’t even blame you if you did. I should be able to keep you safe and yet you fell out of my pocket and almost died. You fell into a glue trap and almost died. I can’t…obviously I can’t protect you, so why would you even stay if I’m just putting you in danger?” Joel was full on crying now, angry tears streaming down his face. He didn’t want to say these words, didn’t want to believe them. But it was so hard to see them as lies.

“Joel-”

Joel shook his head, cutting off Jimmy without even really meaning to, so lost in his own self-blame. “I-I’ve messed up so much that I shouldn’t even really be holding you right now. I shouldn’t be-” Joel cut himself off as he realized he didn’t even feel worthy enough to hold Jimmy anymore. He tried to lower his hands back down to the desk, intent on letting Jimmy off.

“Joel Beans, don't you dare put me down.” Jimmy said and Joel froze, staring down at Jimmy with wide tear filled eyes.

Silence filled the room as Jimmy took a deep breath, processing everything Joel had just said. Joel couldn’t help but feel like he had messed this talk up. He was supposed to be telling Jimmy how he felt, which he supposed he was, but calmly and rationally. Not letting his emotions get the best of him. Not letting his own insecurities and fears win again.

He felt another apology on the tip of his tongue but before he could say it out loud, Jimmy spoke, breaking the silence first. “Joel, I trust you completely.” Jimmy said, surprising Joel. Out of everything, he certainly wasn’t expecting Jimmy to start with that. “You’ve earned my trust over these last few months. At this point I don’t even think-no, I know you would never do anything that would make me want to leave. Ever.”

Joel bit his lip, trying to focus on Jimmy’s words, but his mind kept swirling around those same anxieties. “But just two days ago I almost hurt-”

“No.” Jimmy said, cutting off Joel before he could start spiralling again. Joel’s mouth snapped closed. “You didn’t do anything. I almost got hurt, yes, but you didn’t do anything.” Jimmy’s hardened gaze softened. “Joel, it wasn’t your fault. It was just a series of accidents that happened to end with me on the floor. I don’t blame you at all for it.” Jimmy’s eyes went sad as he stared right into Joel’s eyes. “So I wish you would stop blaming yourself.”

“I-”

Jimmy cut him off again. “And before you bring up the glue trap, that definitely wasn’t your fault. You had no idea and I was the one who walked right into it.”

“But I feel like I’ve been failing to protect you.” Joel said, his shoulders tense but his hands never wavering in their steadiness.

Jimmy shook his head. “No, Joel, you haven’t failed at anything. You protect me when I most need it. You…you might not be able to protect me all the time, but that has nothing to do with what you think is failing.” Jimmy reached out and grabbed hold of one of Joel’s fingers, hoping it would help ground Joel, even just a little bit. Joel let out a little gasp but didn’t try to pull his finger away.

“Joel?” Jimmy spoke again when Joel didn’t say anything. That gained him back Joel’s wavering attention due to his thoughts. “Can you lift me up higher again?”

Joel blinked, a few more tears escaping as he did so, but nodded and carefully lifted his hand so that Jimmy was eye level with him again. Jimmy let go of Joel’s finger in favor of touching Joel’s face again. He reached over to below Joel’s eye and wiped a tear away, uncaring that his hand was now soaked. “I trust you.” Jimmy said, staring right in Joel’s eyes, not a hint of hesitation in his features. “I trust you and I’m not leaving and I don’t blame you for anything.” Jimmy repeated, tilting his head and giving Joel a soft smile as he did so. “Okay?”

Doubt still circled around in Joel’s mind. But seeing Jimmy so earnestly tell him it wasn’t his fault, that he was trusted, well…Joel couldn’t help but believe Jimmy. And he knew, deep down, that that bit of doubt would never leave. There would always be things that Joel would blame himself for, especially when it came to Jimmy. But, at least for now, he felt like he could deal with it. With Jimmy’s help, at least.

“Okay.” Joel said, his voice as soft as Jimmy’s smile.

“Good.”

It was silent for a moment.

“So…are you feeling any better?” Jimmy asked, his grin urging for the answer to be a yes. He leaned further against Joel’s face, causing Joel’s nose to twitch a little.

Joel couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the look Jimmy was giving him. “I guess.” Joel groaned out. He poked at Jimmy’s side gently, making sure there was no real strength to the poke. Jimmy remained steady leaning against Joel’s face. “You couldn’t just let me wallow in my own self-blame, huh?”

“Joel…”

Joel sighed. “I know, I know.” He paused for a moment. “Serious answer is I will be.”

Jimmy sighed but smiled softly. “Well, I’ll be here to keep reminding you then.”

Joel smiled back. “Yeah. Yeah you will be.”

#g/t #giant/tiny #borrowers #au #hermitcraft #hermitfic #hermitblr #bbbcau #bad boys borrower college au #borrower jimmy #tiny jimmy #fic #part 3

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narrans · 2 days ago

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A Small and Tall Collection | Chapter Sixteen | Not So Silent Night

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Chapter Sixteen | Not So Silent Night

Soren’s day had been perfect. His brothers experienced something he’d cherished all his life with his parents – their mother. Sure, the power was out; but, on the other hand he’d spent the day with the boys as well as their new little friend, Ashlynn. The apartment was safe. The boys were fed.

Christmas Even had been one to remember.

He’d been asleep. Completely asleep, drifting into the abyss of nothingness behind his eyes, when a cacophonous slam instantly snapped him out of his slumber.

*WHAM*

Immediately, Soren was upright and off the air mattress, crouched and tense with his eyes glued on the front door. He listened for a moment as his adrenaline spiked. Every nerve in his body was poised to strike or run.

What was that? A fluke? Snow and ice falling off the roof? No. Too deliberate. And that was on the door. That would only happen if someo-

*WHAM*

“Hhnnn… Soren?” Dorian and Rey’s sleepy faces poked over the arms of the couches they were sleeping under to look at Soren’s silhouette. They’d been woken up by whatever was happening outside, which made Soren mad. Not only did it wake the boys, but a quick glance down revealed Ashlynn also on her feet in a similarly crouched position, ready to bolt and hide at the drop of a hat.

Then, he heard it – a voice that could instantly boil Soren’s blood.

“Sssssoorrn? Opppen uuupp!”

Curses.

“Dorian. Rey. Get up and lock yourselves in your room. Take my phone. Call the police. Remember how to do that?” Soren snagged his phone, thankfully charged with the last of the generator battery, and held it out behind him, golden eyes burning a hole right through the door. His voice barked out orders like a military general, all trace of his own voice masked behind his words.

Ashlynn looked between Soren and the door, hoping for some clarification as to what was going on. Who was behind the door? Why was Soren’s voice not his own? Ashlynn glanced over her shoulder at the younger brothers, hoping for some clarity and received none.

Despite Soren’s orders, neither boy moved. It was like they were petrified except for the subtle tremble of their frames. Ashlynn knew the look, but was surprised to see it on a human. It was the same look that a Borrower would have when being seen. It was obvious both boys recognized the voice on the other side of the door, and it struck fear in them.

“Dorian! Rey!” Soren’s sharp tone cut through the air. Like the shattering of glass, the boys were jolted out of their stupor and fumbled to get out of their blankets, pausing as another round of harsh pounds made the door visibly shake. Ashlynn began backing away. It was instinct that had her grab her pin and hook from her bag as she inched toward the boys.

“Soren? Who is that?” she asked, unsure whether or not her voice was heard. Evidently not. Soren’s body, poised like a cat ready to spring, stood and took a few bold steps toward the door.

Soren, for many years, had charged into danger while his heart and mind stayed still and calm. He prided himself in this ability. Between his sixth sense and control over himself, Soren felt like he could charge into anything and make it out alright.

Now, his heart was a warring drum. The gravity of the present bled into his thoughts. What to do seemed a mirky vision compared to so many other decisions he’d made in his life. So much being so clear, and now not weighed on his chest.

*WHAM*

“Sooorrrrnn! Iwanna ssseee m’boys!”

*WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM*

I need to do something. Soren clenched his fists and approached the door, staying several feet away as he spoke.

“Brady! Leave! Go away! The police are on their way!” Soren knew the last one was a lie, but he couldn’t do much about that now. His goal was just to make Brady go away. Hopefully, he would.

“Sssoooorrrenn! Open the d-dooorr! You’ve nnno rrright!”

Ashlynn’s back tapped against the couch. It nearly made her jump, but she refrained from yelping in surprise. Her eyes darted around frantically for the boys, who had barely moved an inch after getting out of their makeshift couch beds. Ashlynn wasn’t sure if it was fear that kept them or uncertainty that their brother was going to be alright.

Whatever the case, she needed to help if she could.

Soren had asked them to retreat to the next bedroom, and she was determined to make them. Before she did, however, she heard a harsh *CRACK* as wood began to splinter.

“Iiifff youdon t oppen uuupp, Immana break down this door! Theeey’re my sons!” Brady slurred.

“Not anymore! Leave! Before you make this worse for yourself!” Soren shouted.

“I HAAVVEEE RIGHTS!”

“Your appeal won’t go through! Not if I have anything to say about it. If you come in here, I swear you won’t be leaving in one piece, Brady. Leave!” Soren shouted back. He glanced over his shoulder, gut wrenching as he saw Dorian and Rey both frozen in place in the far corner of the room.

Curses! They’re scared, and they’re not listening!

“Dorian! Rey! Get to y-.”

*CRACK*

The door burst from the frame, cold wind possessing a foreboding presence of tension and danger, and a bundled figure stumbled in, falling to the ground before staggering to his feet. Ashlynn stared at the man as she backed away in to the shadows behind her and closer to the boys.

The man was obviously older, probably double Soren’s age if she had to venture a guess. His resemblance to his sons was uncanny, making them undeniably his. Their hair color and squarish jaws were nearly identical. Yet there was something in his eyes that told Ashlynn that those two, sweet boys could be nothing like this man. The Borrower continued to retreat as he and Soren stood at their full height, making it to the boys’ sides in record time.

The moment the man spotted Dorian and Rey, both trembling and hugging close to one another, a drunken smile spread across his face. Though Ashlynn only glimpsed it from her hiding spot before ducking behind the couch, she could see that the man genuinely was glad to see the two youngsters.

“Tthheere theyar. I jusss-” His eyes flicked over and darkened as they spotted Soren. “I jussss wanna talkta the bbooyys.”

“You can talk to them when a judge tells you it’s fine. Get out of my house and stay away from them until then,” Soren growled.

“Awww comeon Ssoorren. Itt’ss Chrisssstmas.”

“I don’t care. Get out of our home!” Soren shouted firmly. Brady’s eyes darkened as he took a staggering step forward.

“Yyyouu self-righteous pig. They’re naawwtt yours!” With reflexes unmatching his drunken state, Brady lunged forward and shoved Soren hard, forcing him back a few steps. “Yyyoouurr nno fath-”

He didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence as Soren had all the provocation he needed. If Ashlynn thought Brady was fast, then Soren moved at the speed of light. The way his body darted forward, nimble and precise, before delivering a swift punch to Brady’s jawline reminded Ashlynn of the cat she likened him to minutes earlier. The solid thud followed by Brady stumbling across the floor and against the wall sounded like rolling thunder. Like a boulder unable to gain purchase on the mountainside and cascading down further and further down, Brady continued to fumble until he slammed against the opposite wall.

“I’m more of a father than you! Now get out!” Soren roared. Something about that strike on his jaw brought an acute awareness to his eyes, and Brady suddenly was pushing himself off of the wall and grappling Soren by the shirt as he used his weight to shove Soren back. The two slammed against the wall enough to crack the drywall. Soren responded in kind, grabbing Brady’s collar and drawing up his knee into Brady’s abdomen and delivering another blow in the same place as before.

For Ashlynn, it looked like clash of the titans. The ground shook as each of them stomped and slammed one another against whatever surface they could. In the dark, sprays of some dark liquid erupted from Brady’s nose and Soren’s lip as the two men exchanged strikes. Each blow was deafening, the sound of each fist making contact against a hollow chest or firm bone shaking Ashlynn to her core.

And she wasn’t the only one.

As Soren and Brady tussled, one fighting to get closer to the boys and the other desperate to keep him away, Ashlynn heard pitiful sobs coming from just above her. Her neck snapped up to see Dorian and Rey both with tear stained faces, Dorian standing protectively in front of his brothers even as he shook in his shoes.

Soren grunted as he was suddenly struck hard three times. He gritted his teeth and glanced back at the boys, who were still frozen in place. It was then that Ashlynn saw what was happening.

Soren is trying to be careful in front of them. He’s pulling his punches! They don’t need to see this. I need to get them out of here!

“Dorian! Rey!” Ashlynn shouted as Soren forced Brady back toward the door, barely missing the frame to shove the man back into the frigid air. Dorian glanced down, snot and tears glistening in the meager illumination of the flashlight array they’d made for their fort. He sniffled and continued to look down at her, a haunting image if Ashlynn didn’t know the boys or their distress.

“We need to go to your rooms. Do what Soren said and go to your rooms! Call the police!” Ashlynn wasn’t exactly sure what the last thing was, but evidently Soren thought it was important enough to tell the boys to do it. Dorian sniffled, a hiccup escaping his lips. He nodded timidly and gave Rey a tug as the two watched the men continue their brawl. Soren, from the corner of his eye, caught the movement and took the moment to push harder, snagging Brady’s collar again and forcing him out into the kitchen toward the garage.

Ashlynn ran alongside Dorian and Rey as if she were some kind of guardian. There was little she could do if the situation arose. She couldn’t stop Brady from coming after the boys. She couldn’t hold them and comfort them as they cried. The Borrower had never felt so small in all her life. What she could do was guide them forward though, and that’s exactly what she did. As Ashlynn sprinted beside the boys earthquake inducing strides, she glanced over to see Soren grappling something that Brady had in his hand.

It took all she had to tear her eyes away and focus on making sure the boys continued running, and in that moment she wished she hadn’t.

At that moment, there was a sharp yell of pain that made her blood run cold. Another glance in the dim illumination of the flashlights revealed the glint of a blade. Her heart lurched as she realized it wasn’t Soren who held the knife – he was the one who had shouted.

It was Brady who had the knife.

No… he needs help. Soren needs help! She looked back at Dorian and Rey, who heard the shout and stopped dead in their tracks. I have to get them into their room first.

“Dorian! Rey! Go! Do what Soren said! I’m going to go help him.” What on earth am I saying?! I can’t help, but I have to try. Right? Yes… I’ll figure something out. I’m sure of it.

Ashlynn pivoted and began sprinting toward the kitchen once she was sure she heard the door shut and the lock click. The sound of more grunting and pounding and hollering consumed her ears. She held her blade close as she sprinted along the edge of the trim, hoping she would go unnoticed and uncrushed being so close to the wall.

Her heart felt as strong and as loud as rolling thunder. Every breath felt ragged. It was against every instinct in her body that she charged forward toward the two humans brawling. Still, it was for a friend – for Soren.

She rounded the corner and, instantly, her heart dropped into her shoes. Soren’s arm was gushing blood and the knife was nowhere to be seen. His golden hazel eyes were wild with fury, a look that was frightening beyond words, as he was now pinned to the wall. The stance Brady took was keeping Soren firmly in place, and Soren’s injured arm was of little use as they struggled.

I need to break Brady’s stance. If I… Ashlynn knew what she had to do. It took every ounce of courage in the Borrower’s body to take one step forward, and then the next. Soren’s eyes flicked from Brady’s down to the floor at her slight movement, and his eyes went wide. For just a moment, he shook his head before looking back to the intruder.

Her body acted before she had a chance to reason her way out of it. Drawing her blade, she sprinted forward toward Brady’s ankles. She couldn’t hear his words. She didn’t want to. She didn’t even want to be there, and yet she was. Who would’ve ever known a Borrower would be charging a human, Ashlynn thought.

With the distance closed, Ashlynn waisted no time as, out of pure impulse and sheer willpower to protect her friend, she leapt and grabbed onto the inside seam of Brady’s pants, scurrying up quickly into the dark tunnel of stinking flesh where she saw his exposed leg. Then, she did the unthinkable for a Borrower.

She attacked.

Driving the edge of her blade as far as she could into the human’s leg and dragging down, she used her weight to pull her knife down the length of his calf. Brady’s step faltered instantly as he howled in pain. Ashlynn’s world was turned on its head as he began flailing around and stomping his leg.

“Whhhaaa? The f-”

Ashlynn didn’t wait to hear the rest. Terrified she’d be trampled, she dropped to the ground and sprinted toward the wall. The snow continued to drift in, sending ripping chills through Ashlynn’s body and threatening to cripple her movements. Ashlynn didn’t let herself stop though. She continued to sprint until she hid behind the fragments of the busted door and whipped around in time to see Brady crash to the ground, Soren finally pinning him.

Soren, who’d seen Ashlynn quickly dart forward and vanish from his line of sight, dared not move out of fear of crushing her. What on earth is she doing? What is she thinking? Soren didn’t have to wonder for long as Brady suddenly howled his foul breath in Soren’s face. He watched Ashlynn dart away, which was his cue to act.

He’d been holding back all this time, afraid that his brothers would see their father beaten beyond recognition; at least, that’s how Soren would’ve had it if he had his way. Now that he didn’t see his brothers anywhere and Ashlynn was out of the way, Soren could finally act without pulling his punches.

In just a fraction of a second, he had Brady pinned in a secure hold on the ground, delivering a few harsh blows for his own satisfaction to keep the man he despised in compliance. While Brady struggled on the ground, thrashing and shouting about knowing his rights and that he deserved to see his sons, red and blue flashing lights followed by a piercing siren told Soren that help was on the way.

Good. They called. I was starting to wonder. Soren continued to keep his hands firmly around Brady’s wrists as he kept him pinned. The stinging in his arm reminded him of his own injury and he prayed he wouldn’t have to go to the hospital.

When the police arrived, the flurry of events was little more than a blur. They charged in and temporarily kept Soren detained as they cuffed Brady and led him out to the nearest squad car. Several officers were ones Soren was familiar with, being friends on the force with similar goals of helping and saving others. It only encouraged taunts once Soren verified he and his brothers were alright.

Next came the explaining part. Soren was able to share some of the security footage but refrained from revealing anything inside as his mind thought back to Ashlynn and how she’d bravely come to his aid without briefly screening it first. He used the excuse that he needed to fast forward through him and his brothers making forts and food, and thankfully Ashlynn was nowhere to be seen in any angle.

When everything had been explained and signed, Soren and his brothers temporarily had to talk to the paramedics just to make sure they were okay. The knife laceration was, thankfully, shallow and only required a bit of glue and no stitches along with a firm scolding that he needed to take it easy for the present.

Before he knew it, everyone had been escorted out and the door was temporarily back up, blocking out the freezing air. Soren placed the heaters in his room and shut the door, knowing exactly where the rest of the night was going to go – slumber party in his bed. The boys would undoubtedly have a hard time sleeping on their own for the next week.

“You guys okay?” asked Soren, kneeling in front of his brothers and searching each of their faces for any sign they weren’t completely traumatized by the events of the night.

“Y-y-yeah,” stammered Rey. He sniffled and wiped his nose down the length of his sleeve.

“That was r-really scary,” Dorian murmured. “Did… did he hurt you?”

“Nothing I can’t handle,” Soren smiled. Curse that man, Soren thought bitterly. “And I know you both were really scared, but you did so well listening to instructions and calling for help when I asked.

The trio was silent as Soren rubbed his brothers’ arms. It was a grounding technique he’d been taught, and hopefully they would do the same.

“I-is… is Ashlynn okay?” asked Rey.

“Yeah, she helped us get to our rooms,” Dorian added.

A pit formed in Soren’s stomach. He had been so worried with everything else in the world that he hadn’t even stopped for a second to make sure she was okay. “I… think so. I think when the officers came in she did a really good job of hiding. Don’t worry. I’ll find her. Until then, you two go in my room and get in the bed. I’ll be there in a second.”

“But… do you need help finding Ashlynn?” asked Dorian. Rey nodded in agreement.

“Right now, no. I’ll let you know if I need help but getting you two settled matters more. It’ll take you two forever to snuggle in my bed anyway.” Soren directed the two boys into his room and helped them into bed.

The door clicked behind the eldest brothers, weight of the world feeling like it had once again pinned itself to his shoulders, as he began scanning the ground. He couldn’t believe that it had slipped his mind that he hadn’t seen their little friend since she’d ducked behind the door. Now being more mindful of his surroundings, Soren crouched and listened briefly to see if he could pick anything up.

“Ashlynn?” he called. “Everyone’s gone. Well, except for us. You there?” A painstaking thirty seconds passed with nothing indicating that Ashlynn was anywhere near them when, from under the couch, Soren noticed her peering out at him. Her clothes were covered in blood, which had also matted her hair in a few dozen tiny clumps, and she looked rattled.

“Yeah, I’m… here. Who was that?” asked Ashlynn, her voice cracking a few times before coughing awkwardly to clear the tension surrounding her.

“That,” sighed Soren. “Was Brady. He’s Dorian and Rey’s father. He’s not supposed to have any contact with us, but legally speaking he was made privy to where we live. Courts will probably have us move or something crazy, but that’s a problem for another day.”

“M-move?” Ashlynn gawked.

“Again, or something crazy. I don’t think it’ll come to that, but it’ll be months before anything like that is decided,” reassured Soren. Ashlynn’s blue gray eyes flicked almost imperceptibly from Soren’s face to the drying blood spot on his shirt.

“You’re hurt.”

Soren gave a shrug, hiding the wince as he did, and smiled instead. “I’ve had worse, believe me.”

“On your hands and face too,” she said. Soren hadn’t noticed, but Ashlynn was right. There were tiny cuts and splits in his hands from where he and Brady had been punching one another. He was sure his swelling lip was also a hint that he looked a bit banged up.

“Probably. Seems like we should get cleaned up,” suggested Soren. Ashlynn nodded, fingers snagging one of the many clumps and lifting, which brought the rest of her matting hair with her. She stepped onto Soren’s offered hand and the two of them retreated to the kitchen counter.

Ashlynn didn’t protest when Soren didn’t put her down while he heated the water for them. She didn’t move even after when he brought her to the table with the warmed water. It was only when he began dabbing the cloth on his lip that she stood, grabbed a fragment of cloth, and began scrubbing not on herself, but on him.

Knuckles. Fingers. Palm. Every nook and crevasse that was miniscule for a human was easy for Ashlynn to clean.

To be so close to the hands she’d seen commit such intense violence made her shiver. If Soren were to try and grab her with that same speed and force, she’d never stand a chance. It was a testament to him and his character. Before, Ashlynn wasn’t sure if Soren was capable of hurting someone else. Now, she knew better.

But, it had been in defense of his brothers and herself. That protective instinct was obviously stronger than any perception he wanted to keep to make Ashlynn feel at ease with being so close to him. And, if she was being honest with herself, it was both terrifying and exhilarating to see Soren in action like that. If she hadn’t been so scared, she might’ve felt more than a blush in her cheeks.

“Thank you, for helping me.” Soren’s words disrupted her thoughts and made her startle. “Sorry. I wasn’t trying to spook you. I just wanted to say that what you did… that was crazy, but also really brave. You didn’t have to help, but you did. So, thanks.”

Ashlynn bit her lip and looked away, glancing up from time to time. She stepped over to the water and dunked the cloth fragment she was using. The watched the droplets form as she rung out the fibers before returning to the task at hand.

“I didn’t really do much,” she mumbled. She continued to look down as she hoped Soren didn’t notice her blush.

“Yes, you did.” Soren’s finger suddenly came into view and, with the delicacy of a feather, hooked just under her chin and tilted her head back and up to look at him. “Seriously. I was in a bit of trouble back there. Things would’ve ended up really bad if you didn’t come along.”

She held his gaze, and he held hers. The Borrower woman wasn’t sure when his finger retracted, his eyes alone keeping her set in stone perched on the edge of his hand. Something in her heart swelled. Her skin tingled all over. She had to force herself to swallow as she finally tore her gaze away from his and back to the task at hand. Words escaped her mind as time and space whirled past her.

Finally, she managed to fumble out, “Well… you’re welcome. And you’ve already done the same for me so… seems like we make a good team.”

She heard Soren chuckle ever so softly and caught him nodding out of the corner of her eye as he agreed. “We certainly are.”

It took a few more minutes to get both Soren and Ashlynn clean, Ashlynn having to change yet again into another set of warm clothes she had with her, before the two of them went into Soren’s room. Just as they entered, the sound of beeping in the kitchen alerted them that the power was on once again.

Both Dorian and Rey were awake, but drowsy, when Soren slid under the covers beside them. Ashlynn, despite better Borrower worthy judgment, decided to stay on the bed with Soren and his brothers, curling up in the little gap between Soren’s shoulder and the pillow he rested his head on. Both Dorian and Rey curled under his arms, falling asleep within seconds of being reunited with their brother, and Soren and Ashlynn weren’t far behind.

It was a not so silent night, but the events leading up to it solidified their bonds together. Nothing could separate them now.

Well… almost nothing….

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Continue

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A Tall and Small Collection | Original Story