#Bongs and Bibles

[templekanehbosem23]

Temple Kaneh Bosem's Sunday Service

Week 2 of Advent

[5hark-byt3]

Something abt Halloween and costumes or smth…I might make more if I feel 𐌔𐌉𐌋𐌋𐌙

[sacrilegiousoul]

lmao guys it’s gotten so bad again that ive officially got my The Companion Bible Kings James Version Bible specifically that my grandpa got me and currently asking him to read me bible verses and shit and what he believes alright light bong rip for me, smoke a cigarette in my name imma need it.

[90strashpanda]

The cutest alien fluffball.

For a friend on Discord. Cha (c) Summerowo

[were-these-words-in-the-bible]

I've come to make an announcement

Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. He took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING wife, and he said his dick was "THIS BIG", and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com. Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like.

That's right, baby. Tall points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER PISS!

Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the MOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DROPLETS hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!

How many of these words were in the bible?

I've come to make an announcement

Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. He took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING wife, and he said his dick was "THIS BIG", and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com. Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like.

That's right, baby. Tall points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER PISS!

Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the MOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DROPLETS hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!

127 out of 181 (70.17%) of these words were in the Bible!

[goquokka00]

Stray Kids on Weed

The Hyunjin Strain In which the love of their life smokes the mary jane, and they give it a shot for the first time...

Bangchan | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin Jisung | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin

A Few Notes: This is purely just supposed to be funny and a joke. I've also never been high and while I am friends with those who have either tried weed or do weed on the regular, I only know so much. So please just bear with me and have a good laugh, okay? Okay. Love you guys ❤️❤️❤️

Funnily enough, Hyunjin's first ever experience with weed was because you had asked him if he wanted to try. The reason why you might ask? Simple. Hyunjin had commented on your bong that you had, which was made of a marble-colored glass and was honestly really pretty. Hyunjin had said it was pretty and asked how the bong even worked. And once you had finished explaining, you had asked the question of, "you wanna try?"

Sure enough, Hyunjin tried. And his high was...unique.

See, Hyunjin, when high, is one of those over-analytic people who theorize literally anything and everything. Like, he is spitting absolute nonsense and making it sound like the most interesting topic ever. And I'm not kidding.

Like, this man was going on and on and on about how "earth was earth" and that "Us humans? We're all originally made from earth. God literally told us in the bible, you know? And when we die, we...we're just buried into the earth again. And in reality, everyone should really get along because in reality, we're all one in the same. We're all just earth, and so is literally everyone else. So we should be getting along, but we don't. Like, don't you think that's just completely out of wack?"

And this isn't even one of the topics he covers. He goes on these pointless tangents about literally anything and everything. Why Stray Kids is called Stray Kids when literally nobody in the group was a minor, why people called others pussies as an insult when he (and him specifically) likes it so much, what the true meaning of love was, etc.

Now, when he's doing his analyzing and tangents, he's sitting the entire time. He's so busy thinking and over analyzing and tangent-ing that his body literally just...can't function anymore. It doesn't mean he doesn't try to get up and move, though. It just...doesn't go well. He ends up falling like a newborn horse trying to walk again. It just...it doesn't go well.

So. Does Hyunjin give weed more chances? Well...yeah, actually. Does he do it through the bong? Not necessarily. I think that if he were to do weed again, he might just do edibles. But he did say that some of the topics he talked about when high would honestly make good songs. And so, he'd probably go back to it...so long as you're there to write down or record whatever dumb topics he decides he needs to cover when he's on the high ride of a lifetime.

Hey! Firstly, thank you so much for reading this post, and I really hope you enjoyed! If you did, please like, reblog, or comment so I can see how I'm doing with writing and getting feedback! I hope you have a lovely day! Sleep well, stay in good health, and eat something if you haven't! ❤️❤️❤️

Taglist: @miss-daisy04 @kayleefriedchicken @wolfs-archive @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @wolfs-howling @rose-w-00-d

[biblepercent]

I've come to make an announcement; Shadow The Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. Thats right, he took his hedgehog quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "This big" and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com, Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller, and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like: PFFFT, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. ALL POINTS, NO QUILLS, NO PILLOWS. Look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO.

69.23% of these words are in the bible. Please do not fuck the Earth, the corporations are already doing that more then enough.

I've come to make an announcement; Shadow The Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. Thats right, he took his hedgehog quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "This big" and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com, Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller, and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like: PFFFT, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. ALL POINTS, NO QUILLS, NO PILLOWS. Look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO.

[in-the-bible]

how much of the eggman piss monologue is in the Bible? I’ll paste it below

I've come to make an announcement; Shadow The Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. Thats right, he took his hedgehog quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "This big" and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com, Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller, and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like: PFFFT, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. ALL POINTS, NO QUILLS, NO PILLOWS. Look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO.

I need to figure it out as a percentage, I’ll use your answer and a word counter to do so

come, to, make, an, shadow, the, a, ass, he, on, my, wife, right, took, his, out, and, said, was, this, i, so, making, post, got, small, size, of, except, way, what, looks, like, all, points, no, pillows, look, at, it, two, earth, piss, go, higher, moon, how, do, you, have, hours, before, hit, sight, and too are in the bible!

[irlp1rate]

james would mostly take edibles. they're the healthiest and he enjoys the control he has. he loves baking his own too; brownies, cookies, you name it. he sneaks into the kitchen and works with the elves. (he for sure wears an apron, but dont tell anyone) and they're the best damn baked goods you'll ever eat. sometimes he gets fancy and brews up some tincture.

peter would use a pipe. the burn is his favorite part. he loves watching the inside of the pipe light up. he feels badass with it, and classy as hell. he would have a collection of the craziest, most colorful glass pipes. his favorite is the one that looks like a hotdog though.

sirius would smoke out of a bong. he loves the whole action of using a bong. he loves watching the weed light, the smoothness of the smoke, and the feeling of it filling his lungs. he would have a simple bong, but would fill it with stickers. it was the first bong he ever got, and his prized possession. (his other favorite is a pipe, its a pair of boobs that he stole from peter. petes been looking for it for weeks)

remus loves joints. he rolls his own. he uses regular rolling paper, but also loves to experiment. he uses paper from old, destroyed books a lot of the times. one time sirius got his hands on a muggle bible that remus was fascinated with. he read it with such interest until he got to leviticus 18:22, "you shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination". he promptly rolled up the biggest joint possible, called up all the gays, and hotboxed the dorm bathroom with it.

[siberian-khatru]

ALRIGHT IT'S 2112 TIME!!!!

Now, obviously, the title track is split into seven segments, and I will be sort of... treating each segment as their own song for the sake of my Rushathon live-blogging. 1a. "2112- Overture"- HOLY GOD I MEAN. From the opening ghostly synths, to the just powerhouse of drumming, to the faint haunting of an "ooooh" in the beginning, this is a proper overture that hints at everything to come. Not to mention, it quotes the 1812 overture during the ending, and has that Bible quote "And the meek shall inherit the earth" which, when viewed with the full song and the ending, sort of hints that the protagonist's cause does win out eventually. 1b. "2112- Temples of Syrinx" - Opens with that epic riff, and sets up the antagonists of the story, which takes places under a theocracy that worships technology, with the Priests and their "great computers filling their hallowed halls". There seemed to be quite a lot of talk about technology around this time, and I wrote up a comparison last year between this epic and ELP's "Karn Evil 9" and the dangers of AI technology (that's on my essay account). Both epics feature a struggle between man and machine, which I find very interesting. 1c. "2112- Discovery"- Starts with gentle guitar playing and water flowing in the background. In the liner notes, it says the protagonist (never named) discovers a guitar in a cave, after the personal creation of music has been outlawed by the Priests of Syrinx. This is about discovering the joy that creating and writing your own music can bring you--- and how music can inspire protest and individual thought. A young musician can relate to it on a personal level--- the discovery of their instrument, and learning to master it, and it also has parallels to real-life theocracies, where sometimes all secular music is banned. There's also a bit of naïveté here, where the protagonist thinks they can take on an entire system alone. 1d. "2112- Presentation"- I just. LOVVVEEEE this part. I love how Geddy jumps the octave between the character of the protagonists, and the priests, who are practically shrieking at this person. They're giving the protagonist the excuse that him playing his guitar doesn't fit whatever has been calculated for them by the computer, and smashes the guitar. I do wonder if Geddy was inspired a little by Peter Gabriel's voices in Genesis, like when he's playing different characters in "Get Em Out By Friday", for example. 1e. "2112- The Oracle"- This is where the protagonist inadvertently contacts the "Elder Race of Man" --- ngl I got a little distracted singing it instead of writing for this part LOL. 1f. "2112- Soliloquy" - This is my favorite part of the entire song. The pain in the protagonists' voice when he jumps the octave makes me shiver. It's a heartbreaking end to the protagonist, but so so well done.

1g. "2112- Grand Finale"- HELL YEAH HERE WE GOOOO!!! I love the ambiguous ending to 2112, where one doesn't know if the Temples of Syrinx were overthrown following a rebellion, or whether they were the ones to "assume control" once more, or if they did succeed, if they were replaced by something just as bad. It's just so open-ended, and I think one's interpretation of it says a lot about them as a person. ALSO!!! "Attention all planets of the solar federations" - said 3x is 21 words "We have assumed control" - said 3x is 12 words, so the ending also spells out 2112!!! 2. "A Passage to Bangkok"- Now, following one of the most famous prog epics of all time is... a song about smoking weed around the world. It sort of reminds me of how, immediately after the epic that is "Tarkus", ELP launches right into "Jeremy Bender", which is another humorous sort of song. I guess it's sort of a palate cleanser, in a way. The interesting thing about APTB is the bong hit right before the solo, and the way that the drums actually lag behind the guitarist and the bass, by adding an extra beat I believe, adding to a sort of psychedelic feel that is never the same. My only criticism of this song is the sort of orientalist motif that recurs a few times, which is a bit of a stereotype. 3. "The Twilight Zone"- This was the song that started the tradition of Rush recording a last-minute song on their records, and is, of course, an homage to the television of the same name, describing the plot lines to several episodes. Funnily enough, the prior album, Caress of Steel, is also dedicated to Rod Serling. I also love the overdubbed whispering in the choruses after the first one--- that's always made me laugh. 4. "Lessons"- The lyrics to this song are written by Alex, and would be his last lyrical contribution until the final contribution by Geddy and Alex on Signals, "Chemistry". I do love the guitar on this song, and I think I like it a little more than Geddy's lyrical contribution to the album, "Tears". To me, it feels like a callback to some of their earlier songs, with a little more sophistication and experience. 5. "Tears"- I'm a little torn over this song, admittedly. On one hand, I think it's beautiful and touching, and on the other, sometimes I feel it's a little melodramatic. I'm never sure if it's coming from a place of sincerity or not. Right now, I think it is, but when I was younger and perhaps a touch more cynical, I thought it was almost sarcastic, and making fun of people who wrote songs like this in order to get laid. Either way, it is a gorgeous song, and I think there's a synth in the background as well (sounds like a mellotron, but I don't think they had access to a mellotron). It does credit Hugh Syme with keyboards on this track, so perhaps that does include a mellotron. 6. "Something for Nothing"- This is my favorite non-2112 song on this album, and might be one of my favorite Rush songs period. I had the lyrics to the bridge tucked in the back of my phone case for a while, and it always motivates me to go and do something. Because things can't get better if you don't work for it--- which doesn't even mean on a personal basis. If we want the world to be a better place, people need to fight for it. I know that Neil was heavily influenced by Rand at that time, but you can look at this from a leftist lens of criticizing Rapture culture--- that someone will come along and save the world and make everything better.

Okay, I'm not entirely sure if I want to do AFWTK/Hemispheres next, so I think I'll wait until Moving Pictures to write again.

[pianokantzart]

snapcube mentioned?!?!?!?! I’m sorry but I’m getting excited now lmao I never get to talk about snapcube. how much of their sonic fandubs have you seen? got a favorite joke/scene? (if it’s the Memphis Tennessee one, that’s so real actually. side note: I highly recommend their sonic destruction series. while they’re not dubbing over a video game, it’s still soooo funny I promise.)

Actually, fun fact: Sonic Destruction is the only Snapcube thing I've seen all the way through rather than just in clips. (I do most of my youtube watching while drawing, so the audio-only medium is best for me)

And yes, I did literally start crying tears of laughter once or twice during my first watch through.

But darn it all, my favorite character has to be The Devil from The Bible. It was just good joke after good joke after good joke, all building up to that fantastic mental breakdown. Also the "Heeeey. What's uuuuuup. It's meeeeee" sound bite plays in my mind at least once a week. That and "Eh, bing bong hey what's up you're doing a bad job."

[agentsquirrelsgotrobots]

Cody sobbed, curled on the couch as that, that- deer man, called for him. He was alone with Heatwave and Boulder at the firehouse, his lungs aching from running all the way from the Greenes lab through the tunnels. Boulder had grabbed him and fought off the demon, sealing them and Heatwave inside. Chase and Blades and the rest of Cody's family were stuck in town, unable to break through the shield Alastor threw over the firehouse.

"Cody. You know you belong to me."

"I- I swear, I didn't, believe me! I knew something was wrong, so I kept him away and signed nothing, ok, he shouldn't be here after I said no, why isn't he gone?" His voice shook, clutching the hand that was so close to sealing the deal, to taking thar monster's hand.

"Cody... we have business to settle. You did a very bad thing, almost gained a place with me. It's a shame you couldn't follow through. Your mother could."

His voice shook the walls, the sigils Boulder had painted out of habit over the garage doors glowed. They were just a superstition, something Charlie let him paint on a little after they had arrived. You could barely see them. The script was painted in almost the same color as the walls, but they held, the intention held, so until Pastor Mike arrived, and Chase broke through the barrier, Cody would be safe as long as he stayed away from the creature knocking on the doors, pleading to be let inside.

The man brought with him red rumbling skies, dark clouds, and an oppressive humidity to every breath taken. Alastor had taken Frankie as collateral, her mother's cross fastened around her neck, warning her of danger beyond the grave, that the old summoning board found in Charlie Burns' closet wasn't some old board game bought at the store.

No, it was the real deal, and poor Frankie paid the price. She was alive, but comatose, floating in a blood-red bubble above Alastor's head. He couldn't harm her, but could take Cody, for the reason of his conception.

Cody was the product of a deal.

The board was blessed by Catherine, Cody's mother, a pastor's daughter who knew her prayers forwards and backward, but knowledge of the Bible didn't protect her from Alastor in the end.

After all, Alastor was a faithful Southern Baptist in life, and hell didn't scare him, despite his dear mother's efforts.

The point was, he knew his prayers too.

Backwards and forward.

Alastor pounded on the garage doors, hearing the singular broadcast leaving the firehouse.

"Prime? Prime! If you are hearing this, get down here NOW. There's a pit beast at our doors, and he's here for Cody. We will be okay for a few days, but if the human priest can't banish it, you will have to step in, for Cody's sake. We can't fight it. Our faith is the only thing keeping it out of the firehouse. This is Heatwave of Sigma 17, signing off."

Alastor frowned. He's had many types of priests called him over the decades, but never a "Prime." He smiled wider. This could be fun.

Heatwave ran back downstairs, sitting next to his charge. Like it or not, if Cody gets dragged down, so will he.

"Cody, Catherine, oh, I love a matching set of sinners in my arsenal."

Alastor screeched, clawing at the doors again. No matter what he did, he couldn't shred the thin metal under his claws.

He leered through the big front windows, tapping on the glass with his microphone.

"What are you doing there, my lambs? Preparing for hell? Silly Silly tin cans, so willing to fall with him. I'll have you holding up the pillars of my hotel till the end of time for this little inconvenience"

Alastor threw his head back and howled with laughter, his curled antlers shaking.

BONG

The firehouse bell, a decommissioned church bell, rang loudly, the sound pushing Alastor back. It burned his antler down to its normal size, Alastor cursing in Latin as he backed away to recover.

"REALLY, CODY? You think a bell could stop ME?"

Inside, Cody shivered despite the heat. "I want my dad." He cried out, curling up against Heatwave's hand as he scooped him into his cab.

"I promise Cody, I will protect you."

The pounding continued, Alastor pulling back his antlers to avoid disturbing the bell again.

Chase broke through the shields, letting the pastor through while the others stayed behind.

"Ah! I was wondering when they would throw in a faithful lamb."

Alastor smiled wider, his grip on his microphone tightening. This was always the hard part. His own faith worked against him on this front, but he has succeeded in spite of it in the past, and this would be no different.

"Reverend Michael Rivers, correct?"

Mike said nothing, confirmed nothing. He couldn't risk anything. "Release the girl, then we will talk." He commanded, ignoring the whispers in his ears to stand down, let Alastor win- Alastor? "Your name is Alastor. Let the girl go."

The demon laughed.

"That's not how that works. But, I am feeling generous, and she's not the one I am looking for, so it's right to at least give you this. After I drag down both tin cans and my prize, it won't matter anyway."

Alastor threw Frankie through the shield, Blades catching her in the knick of time. She groaned, and coughed up black foam from her lungs.

Pastor Mike tried his best, using every trick he could think of to force Alastor to leave Cody be.

It wasn't his efforts that got Alastor to leave, but his own boredom.

"Well, this is going nowhere. No fight, no leverage. You won this round, but know that the Radio Demon always wins."

Alastor sunk into his portal, the shield disapating as he disappeared back into hell.

The sky cleared, birds chirping as life returned to normalcy.

Inside the firehouse, the air cooled. Cody sniffed and wiped away his tears as Chase opened the garage doors.

"Cody?" He called out.

"He's right here." Heatwave said, getting up off the floor. Boulder smiled and waved at him.

He had gone nonverbal during the fighting, and it would be a few days before he would speak more than necessary.

Charlie left the bots to babysit while the adults talked. Chase left to bring Frankie to the urgent care in town, since the cross she wore left a burn where it and the chain it was on touched her due to being surrounded by Alastor's magic. Dani drove, Graham staying with them.

"Why that - he got what he asked." Charlie sat at the kitchen table, wiping at his eyes. "He wanted our stillborn daughter's corpse for- for- I can't even understand why. He drank her blood and then made Cathy prepare her like a suckling pig - his words, not mine. He ate the entrails and guts, Cathy the meat. He made her eat it while I watched. He then sealed the rest in a coffin and took it with him. Two months later, Cody was concieved without issue. That was it. Nothing about Cody being his son."

Pastor Mike set his hand on Charlie’s shoulder. "You didn't know. Nobody knew. I didn't, and Cathy and I were thick as thieves. I will bless the site, leave you with some holy water, and crosses to put in your and Cody's bedroom. I know Boulder is going to retouch all the sigils and paint more where he thinks they would be beneficial. I want you to do the same with the crosses, paint them if you can't put them up."

Charlie looked up at him. "You think that would work?"

"I pray it does." He answered gravely.

"How about the bots? Are you worried that maybe something the prime does can disrupt what you did?" Kade asked. He chose to ignore the part about his mother eating his younger sister. That was a whole other conversation for another day.

"The difference between a piece of wood and a cross is the belief in it." Pastor Mike answered. "No amount on preaching I can do to the bots can help or harm them if they don't believe in it. If our neighbors downstairs believe that the prime can help, then in my mind, the prime will help my efforts, not stiffle it."

"Alrighty then." Kade said, not sounding convinced.

[drowning-moonlight]

I recently went to my 10-year high school reunion and the emotions I felt are a little indescribable like...

Some of you were my closest friends I've ever had in my life. Some of you were my bullies. One of you was both. Most of you were neither.

The last time I saw many of you was at graduation. The most recently I've seen any of you was 5 years ago at a former classmate's funeral. Yeah I miss her too. Having a seizure in your sleep is a bad way to go... Oh it was actually an accidental suicide? I didn't know that. Can't believe at least 4 people we graduated with have died since then. A brain tumor, breast cancer, a car accident...

There aren't really that many people here... barely 30... Oh, half the class wasn't even invited? Okay. Three of you didn't even actually graduate with us but hey it's alright.

What ever happened to so-and-so? He's in prison? For murder??

Oh you have kids now? Daughters? I remember you saying in sophomore year that you would get an abortion if you were pregnant with a girl because you hated how needy girls were. I hope you've worked on that internalized misogyny.

I remember when you came out as gay in 2010 when we were freshmen. No, none of us were surprised. We all knew since at least the 7th grade. I think you were the first gay person that I ever met. I'm sorry I quoted a Bible verse at you. That was really shitty of me. I don't really even believe in god anymore.

I didn't realize how fucked up it was that the school made us reenact a drunk driving car accident the day before prom to discourage us from drinking. I still have a picture of you in a pink prom dress splattered with fake blood.

You slept with our classmate's brother literally last week?? Why do you feel the need to tell me that he has the biggest dick you've ever seen lol? Why are you telling me this in a restaurant bathroom??

Yes, I remember when we used to smoke pot on the roof of my house. My mom walked in on us one time to tell you that your brother was in the hospital with a ruptured appendix. You shoved the loose weed under my bed and it got all covered in lent and dust. It was raining really bad that day and we forgot the umbrellas in my car like idiots.

I still can’t believe you made us smoke weed out of aluminum soda cans. I literally would have just given you money to buy a real bong if you had asked.

That time your dad called the cops on us for breaking into your house was one of the worst days of my life. Somehow I feel like it was just another Tuesday to you.

I don't miss high school but I do miss our philosophical conversations in art class.

I miss your dog more than I miss you. But I do still miss you.

Oh you think you peaked in high school and that life is down hill after that? Dang, that's depressing. I wouldn't admit that under threat of death. Hope life treats you better from now on.

Remember the Halloween of 2009? Remember the Halloween of 2013? Those were the best times.

I'm sorry I was a bad friend to you. You were a bad friend to me too though. Maybe most people are bad friends at 14.

Sometimes when you wanted to hang out on Saturday nights, I would lie and say my parents wouldn't let me because we had church in the morning but really I just didn't want to miss the new episode of Naruto. Yeah, that show you used to bully me for liking. Remember that sleepover at my house when you took a Sharpie and drew all over the posters on my bedroom walls? That took a long time to forgive you for. I still have those posters shoved in the back of a drawer. I wonder if you regret doing that.

Yeah we should get together for lunch or something sometime. I really do mean that genuinely.

I still think about you all sometimes and I wonder if you ever still think about me.

[adventurous-adventures]

5 July 2024: We're back!! ... again

we keep going on haitus because something keeps coming up

BING BONG WE'RE BACK AGAIN

Georgie uses Jesus. It's super effective.

There is a spare chair that neither Zain nor Georgie sit on.

Praise the floor! (reference to TAAOD and the floormans)

Lara is now bulk buying books instead of crystals. (jesus, really calling me out on that one. y'all think books are an improvement to crystals)

Georgie has also fallen head first into sonic lore. Zain approves of this.

Zain goes goblin mode and jumpscares Alex.

The 5 Dwarves size up the rats (?) And think they can take them...in a fight, right?

Alex has completely lost it. "It took one sentence?! To make a sex joke?!" (new record)

Mick makes a small yelp. I don't know why they made that.

The Dwarves are not fighters, they're lovers.

Lara was really close to throwing their embroidery work at Georgie.

"The Gnomes want to fuck the rats" - Zain "They're Dwarves." - Alex "The Dwarves want to fuck the rats" - Zain "Viscerally." - Mick "With Pickaxes." - Georgie "This is the weirdest Minecraft porn I've ever heard of." - Zain

It has been 17 minutes and Alex is so very broken.

"He's just Don John." - Georgie "Anywhere else and he would be a racist black guy." - Zain

"The default for racists is white." - Georgie

Ew we're talking about religion.

Zain now wants to burn a Bible.

Communion wafers are made of Jesus' flesh.

"Who the fuck wants to eat Jesus?" - Zain (blame Jesus, he's the one who came up with the eucharist)

Georgie and Mick are Pagan. Zain immediately thinks of Pagan Min from far cry 4 (May Pagan's light shine upon us all.)

"We could take it 3 way." - Georgie

We try to figure out the context of the choc'd or Fingered quote. Georgie wondered if we fingered anybody.

There's a locked door behind the Dwarves. Iphigenia breaks their thieves' tools.

Mick was very closing in searching up 'how to make a bomb in D&D.'

Raven knows how to make gunpowder.

One of the Dwarves finally tell us of another way that involves climbing up a cliff.

Raven does a resident evil 4 and shoots the lock with his crossbow. He gets a nat 20 and breaks it.

Raven convinces the Dwarves not to fight the Lycanthorpe rats. The Dwarves made River-Lea literally swear to come back. (River-Lea says fuck).

The party stealthily make it to where they can see the exit. There are two guards that are standing in the way, watching out towards the clearing.

Zain ponders how to deal with this in the toilet.

Zain has decided to resort to violence with a suprise round.

"Gaylight, Girlkeep, Gasboss."

Plan has changed, Don John gets yeeted by River-Lea (georgie temporarily regains yeeting privileges which were revoked from the yeeting incident)

Raven is gonna suprise shoot a mofo.

Alex's brain is fried from all the sex jokes.

"Man your brain is really fucked up." - Zain

SUPRISE ROUND STARTS:

Juniper makes the guards crispy with a couple of scorching rays.

Raven gets a headshot on one and then brutally murders the other.

Raven has "edged the Dwarves emotionally."

There's another wererat that opens the door and sees the scene unfold. Then the party decides to bolt it out of there.

The party makes it back to Phandalin by sunset.

"What has Wester done for this village?" - Georgie "Shit his pants" - Zain

Alistair and Dewdrop have been quiet this entire session.

Dewdrop was getting railed by Orcs and Alistair was just quiet.

Iphigenia and Juniper sleep at Iphigenia's family bakery and Raven and River-Lea sleep at the farm.

IT'S A NEW DAY, YES IT IS!

Zain falls for the Mind Goblin joke.

The party tries to persuade Wester to get double the payment. Instead the party gets 100 from Wester and 100 from Don John.

"Polycule is good for your finances." - Georgie.

Juniper is designated group accountant.

The party now goes to the blue lions store now run by Annette fire emblem.

Zain now voices Annette fire emblem in this campaign.

Raven fails to try and rizz Annette.

Georgie throws an eraser into the poutine.

We have 3 new quests! The party are ready to head out for Axholm and make a safe haven in the event of evacuation.

[magicalgirlagency]

How do you feel about Sonic Real Time Fandubs?

They're absolutely asinine (affectionate). And Lythero's lives and Tio Gordo's Crash Bandicoot videos are on the same level, too.

Here are some of my favorite quotes/dialogues (the list's rather long, so stay for a li'l while):

[SILVER]: "Y'know, maybe things aren't so bad! I'm here, with a nice ocean breeze, alone with my thoughts..."

[...]

[BLAZE]: "Hey, Silver!"

[SILVER]: "GODDAMNIT--"

⭐

[MEPHILES]: "In the future, looks like you'll kiss seven girls! How lucky for you!"

[SHADOW]: "JOKES ON YOU! If you were a true copy of me, you'd know that I'm GAY!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Shadow, you're an asshole, man."

[SHADOW]: "You are what you eat, Sonic!"

⭐

[STORM]: I can't see the end of the horizon-- HATSUNE MIKU?!?!? IS THAT YOU?!?!?!"

⭐

[MEPHILES]: "You silly feeble-minded little gay... I am so far beyond Fortnite!"

⭐

[DR. EGGMAN]: "I am going to kill you... and then, kill you again."

⭐

[AMY]: "SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!! I DID NOT GO TO FOUR YEARS OF MASTERS' SCHOOL TO GET TO BE CALLED A DUSTY BITCH!!"

[SONIC]: "Okay, what did you go for, though? 'Cause I can't tell."

⭐

[CHARMY]: "Yippieee! I can die happy tomorrow!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Hahaha, ONE!"

⭐

[AMY]: "You... MOTHERFUCKER!! You just left me to DIE!!"

[SONIC]: "Top 30 Reasons Why Sonic Is Sorry (No. 5 Will Surprise You!)"

[AMY]: "Top 30 Anime Deaths! No. 1: YOUR ASS RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!"

⭐

[JET]: "I love stealin' shit! Great day!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Woah, he's bisexual! I didn't know that!"

[DR. EGGMAN]: "Also, I'm bisexual, by the way--"

⭐

[DR. EGGMAN]: "The CAUCACITY of this bitch..."

⭐

[SHADOW]: "Well, you know what they say: If you kill someone, you get ALL of their Sin Points!"

[DR. EGGMAN]: "Well, DUH, you idiot! That's what I've just said!"

[SHADOW]: "Yes, I'm gonna kill YOU!"

[DR. EGGMAN]: "You fu-- What. Wait a minute, I don't-- I don't wanna die yet, wai--"

⭐

*Downloading: Weed.exe...*

[E-123 OMEGA]: "HOOOOLLLLYYY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII--"

⭐

[SHADOW]: "You forgot the number one sin, Devil: Thou shall not have any gods before ME!"

⭐

[SHADOW]: "So... King of Hell... President... I have all of this power at my fingertips..."

[...]

[BLACK DOOM]: "Heeeeeeeyyyy, whazzzuuuuuuppp? It's meeeeeeeeeee~!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Hey, wanna join? You guys wanna start a polyamorous marriage?"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Okay, how fast do you wanna run? Too fast? Three fast? Twelve fast?"

⭐

[DR. EGGMAN]: "I'M BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN!!!"

⭐

[MEPHILES]: "Welcome to my house. As you can see, I've knocked so many chairs over because I'm getting so TiLtEd At ThE tOwErS!"

⭐

[BLACK DOOM]: "It's real cute you're gonna defeat me with the PoWeR oF fRiEnDsHiP an' all, but again, I am The Devil, from, The Bible!"

⭐

[STORM]: "Ugh... I just remembered a traumatizing from my past; hang on, I have to stim and I'll feel better..."

⭐

[JET]: "I hear womanly emotions..."

[WAVE]: I'm NOT a girl, you idiot! I am a SWALLOW! Jesus! It's not that hard!"

⭐

[ELISE]: "It has been like, a week... I've lost track of time... I'm not sure if I'm a person..."

[AMY]: Hmmm, you won't be, in juuuuust a second!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "I'm gonna kill all of you!"

⭐

[SHADOW]: "Diamonds aren't green, dicknips."

⭐

[DR. EGGMAN]: "You have 13 seconds before the island fucking explodes, you Hot Topic-wannabe and you blue gumball son of a bitch! You have done nothing but destroy my life; I hope you both DIE."

⭐

[MARIA]: "I'm dying... because I'm so surprised..."

⭐

[BLACK DOOM]: "Errm, Bing-Bong! Uhh hey, what's up! You're doin' a bad job!"

[lucaaazd]

Modern au headcanons:

Annie is a pot head and only smokes splifs. She thinks bongs are disgusting.

Armin, however, has asthma.

Oops.

Eren is a Kanye apologist.

Bed turtle has been in love with Annie ever since he saw her jump from the top of a fifteen feet high slide for 5 dollars as a six year old.

Reiner and Bed turtle jerk each other off (no homo tho)

Historia was raised a good Christian girl and thought she was gonna marry a nice guy from her bible study class.

Ymir is transmasc.