#Bongs and Bibles

[sacrilegiousoul]

lmao guys it’s gotten so bad again that ive officially got my The Companion Bible Kings James Version Bible specifically that my grandpa got me and currently asking him to read me bible verses and shit and what he believes alright light bong rip for me, smoke a cigarette in my name imma need it.

[lacking-hydration]

I think I've talked about this too much to people but I always think the direct comparison of Kenneth Marshall to Trump is an under-representation of. the amount of evil people that are. visible in his character

like Trump is absolutely a very clear inspiration for Marshall's incompetence and his narcissism, but I also think (not only his position as a former senator) puts him in line with some of the other power hungry ghouls on the lower rungs of conservative legislation. He's deftly uncharismatic and has to rely on power to get people to at least pretend to like him, reminds me of JD Vance (not to mention the whole thing with him wearing visible eye makeup during the talk show sequence, makeup in general, is a think JD Vance has been made fun of for like. forever now). Known ghoul Matt Gaetz has one of the most joyless, unnatural smiles in the world. So does Kenneth Marshall. (no disrespect to Mark Ruffalo there, i'm pretty sure he's either doing some kind of facial work or has prosthetic teeth to create that)

The evangelicalism that Niflheim is founded upon in is obviously very closely knit with the conservative party, but also works to make Marshall very reminiscent of a lot of Megachurch pastors and Televangelists-- (this isn't a revelation or anything, it's very obvious. HE LITERALLY HAS HIS OWN TV SHOW) lest we forget the time he tried to convince that lady to have his children IN FRONT OF YLFA, BTW, WHO ALSO SEEMED DOWN WITH THAT WHICH IS. whatever. i'm pretty sure the bible does not permit adultery, but cult leaders are very well known for disregarding such a rule and justifying it under the rule of god.

and of course the full on dictator mode he gets into in the last act is very clearly reminiscent of like. every dictator ever. pick one.

oh yeah and bong joon ho literally said the character was inspired by "a mix of many different politicians" and "dictators that we have seen throughout history."

so. that's just all the ones i noticed i guess

[moonbandit420]

9am is too early to smoke weed on any day EXCEPT Christmas. on Christmas we can hit the bong at 8:53am and it's okay. infact you must smoke weed before 9am. it's in the bible.

[goquokka00]

Stray Kids on Weed

The Hyunjin Strain In which the love of their life smokes the mary jane, and they give it a shot for the first time...

Bangchan | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin Jisung | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin

A Few Notes: This is purely just supposed to be funny and a joke. I've also never been high and while I am friends with those who have either tried weed or do weed on the regular, I only know so much. So please just bear with me and have a good laugh, okay? Okay. Love you guys ❤️❤️❤️

Funnily enough, Hyunjin's first ever experience with weed was because you had asked him if he wanted to try. The reason why you might ask? Simple. Hyunjin had commented on your bong that you had, which was made of a marble-colored glass and was honestly really pretty. Hyunjin had said it was pretty and asked how the bong even worked. And once you had finished explaining, you had asked the question of, "you wanna try?"

Sure enough, Hyunjin tried. And his high was...unique.

See, Hyunjin, when high, is one of those over-analytic people who theorize literally anything and everything. Like, he is spitting absolute nonsense and making it sound like the most interesting topic ever. And I'm not kidding.

Like, this man was going on and on and on about how "earth was earth" and that "Us humans? We're all originally made from earth. God literally told us in the bible, you know? And when we die, we...we're just buried into the earth again. And in reality, everyone should really get along because in reality, we're all one in the same. We're all just earth, and so is literally everyone else. So we should be getting along, but we don't. Like, don't you think that's just completely out of wack?"

And this isn't even one of the topics he covers. He goes on these pointless tangents about literally anything and everything. Why Stray Kids is called Stray Kids when literally nobody in the group was a minor, why people called others pussies as an insult when he (and him specifically) likes it so much, what the true meaning of love was, etc.

Now, when he's doing his analyzing and tangents, he's sitting the entire time. He's so busy thinking and over analyzing and tangent-ing that his body literally just...can't function anymore. It doesn't mean he doesn't try to get up and move, though. It just...doesn't go well. He ends up falling like a newborn horse trying to walk again. It just...it doesn't go well.

So. Does Hyunjin give weed more chances? Well...yeah, actually. Does he do it through the bong? Not necessarily. I think that if he were to do weed again, he might just do edibles. But he did say that some of the topics he talked about when high would honestly make good songs. And so, he'd probably go back to it...so long as you're there to write down or record whatever dumb topics he decides he needs to cover when he's on the high ride of a lifetime.

Hey! Firstly, thank you so much for reading this post, and I really hope you enjoyed! If you did, please like, reblog, or comment so I can see how I'm doing with writing and getting feedback! I hope you have a lovely day! Sleep well, stay in good health, and eat something if you haven't! ❤️❤️❤️

Taglist: @miss-daisy04 @kayleefriedchicken @wolfs-archive @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @wolfs-howling @rose-w-00-d

[were-these-words-in-the-bible]

I've come to make an announcement

Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. He took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING wife, and he said his dick was "THIS BIG", and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com. Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like.

That's right, baby. Tall points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER PISS!

Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the MOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DROPLETS hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!

How many of these words were in the bible?

I've come to make an announcement

Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. He took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING wife, and he said his dick was "THIS BIG", and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com. Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like.

That's right, baby. Tall points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER PISS!

Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the MOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DROPLETS hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!

127 out of 181 (70.17%) of these words were in the Bible!

[biblepercent]

I've come to make an announcement; Shadow The Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. Thats right, he took his hedgehog quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "This big" and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com, Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller, and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like: PFFFT, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. ALL POINTS, NO QUILLS, NO PILLOWS. Look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO.

69.23% of these words are in the bible. Please do not fuck the Earth, the corporations are already doing that more then enough.

I've come to make an announcement; Shadow The Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. Thats right, he took his hedgehog quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "This big" and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com, Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller, and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like: PFFFT, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. ALL POINTS, NO QUILLS, NO PILLOWS. Look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO.

[in-the-bible]

how much of the eggman piss monologue is in the Bible? I’ll paste it below

I've come to make an announcement; Shadow The Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. Thats right, he took his hedgehog quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "This big" and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com, Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller, and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like: PFFFT, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. ALL POINTS, NO QUILLS, NO PILLOWS. Look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO.

I need to figure it out as a percentage, I’ll use your answer and a word counter to do so

come, to, make, an, shadow, the, a, ass, he, on, my, wife, right, took, his, out, and, said, was, this, i, so, making, post, got, small, size, of, except, way, what, looks, like, all, points, no, pillows, look, at, it, two, earth, piss, go, higher, moon, how, do, you, have, hours, before, hit, sight, and too are in the bible!

[irlp1rate]

james would mostly take edibles. they're the healthiest and he enjoys the control he has. he loves baking his own too; brownies, cookies, you name it. he sneaks into the kitchen and works with the elves. (he for sure wears an apron, but dont tell anyone) and they're the best damn baked goods you'll ever eat. sometimes he gets fancy and brews up some tincture.

peter would use a pipe. the burn is his favorite part. he loves watching the inside of the pipe light up. he feels badass with it, and classy as hell. he would have a collection of the craziest, most colorful glass pipes. his favorite is the one that looks like a hotdog though.

sirius would smoke out of a bong. he loves the whole action of using a bong. he loves watching the weed light, the smoothness of the smoke, and the feeling of it filling his lungs. he would have a simple bong, but would fill it with stickers. it was the first bong he ever got, and his prized possession. (his other favorite is a pipe, its a pair of boobs that he stole from peter. petes been looking for it for weeks)

remus loves joints. he rolls his own. he uses regular rolling paper, but also loves to experiment. he uses paper from old, destroyed books a lot of the times. one time sirius got his hands on a muggle bible that remus was fascinated with. he read it with such interest until he got to leviticus 18:22, "you shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination". he promptly rolled up the biggest joint possible, called up all the gays, and hotboxed the dorm bathroom with it.

[magicalgirlagency]

How do you feel about Sonic Real Time Fandubs?

They're absolutely asinine (affectionate). And Lythero's lives and Tio Gordo's Crash Bandicoot videos are on the same level, too.

Here are some of my favorite quotes/dialogues (the list's rather long, so stay for a li'l while):

[SILVER]: "Y'know, maybe things aren't so bad! I'm here, with a nice ocean breeze, alone with my thoughts..."

[...]

[BLAZE]: "Hey, Silver!"

[SILVER]: "GODDAMNIT--"

⭐

[MEPHILES]: "In the future, looks like you'll kiss seven girls! How lucky for you!"

[SHADOW]: "JOKES ON YOU! If you were a true copy of me, you'd know that I'm GAY!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Shadow, you're an asshole, man."

[SHADOW]: "You are what you eat, Sonic!"

⭐

[STORM]: I can't see the end of the horizon-- HATSUNE MIKU?!?!? IS THAT YOU?!?!?!"

⭐

[MEPHILES]: "You silly feeble-minded little gay... I am so far beyond Fortnite!"

⭐

[DR. EGGMAN]: "I am going to kill you... and then, kill you again."

⭐

[AMY]: "SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!! I DID NOT GO TO FOUR YEARS OF MASTERS' SCHOOL TO GET TO BE CALLED A DUSTY BITCH!!"

[SONIC]: "Okay, what did you go for, though? 'Cause I can't tell."

⭐

[CHARMY]: "Yippieee! I can die happy tomorrow!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Hahaha, ONE!"

⭐

[AMY]: "You... MOTHERFUCKER!! You just left me to DIE!!"

[SONIC]: "Top 30 Reasons Why Sonic Is Sorry (No. 5 Will Surprise You!)"

[AMY]: "Top 30 Anime Deaths! No. 1: YOUR ASS RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!"

⭐

[JET]: "I love stealin' shit! Great day!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Woah, he's bisexual! I didn't know that!"

[DR. EGGMAN]: "Also, I'm bisexual, by the way--"

⭐

[DR. EGGMAN]: "The CAUCACITY of this bitch..."

⭐

[SHADOW]: "Well, you know what they say: If you kill someone, you get ALL of their Sin Points!"

[DR. EGGMAN]: "Well, DUH, you idiot! That's what I've just said!"

[SHADOW]: "Yes, I'm gonna kill YOU!"

[DR. EGGMAN]: "You fu-- What. Wait a minute, I don't-- I don't wanna die yet, wai--"

⭐

*Downloading: Weed.exe...*

[E-123 OMEGA]: "HOOOOLLLLYYY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII--"

⭐

[SHADOW]: "You forgot the number one sin, Devil: Thou shall not have any gods before ME!"

⭐

[SHADOW]: "So... King of Hell... President... I have all of this power at my fingertips..."

[...]

[BLACK DOOM]: "Heeeeeeeyyyy, whazzzuuuuuuppp? It's meeeeeeeeeee~!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Hey, wanna join? You guys wanna start a polyamorous marriage?"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Okay, how fast do you wanna run? Too fast? Three fast? Twelve fast?"

⭐

[DR. EGGMAN]: "I'M BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN!!!"

⭐

[MEPHILES]: "Welcome to my house. As you can see, I've knocked so many chairs over because I'm getting so TiLtEd At ThE tOwErS!"

⭐

[BLACK DOOM]: "It's real cute you're gonna defeat me with the PoWeR oF fRiEnDsHiP an' all, but again, I am The Devil, from, The Bible!"

⭐

[STORM]: "Ugh... I just remembered a traumatizing from my past; hang on, I have to stim and I'll feel better..."

⭐

[JET]: "I hear womanly emotions..."

[WAVE]: I'm NOT a girl, you idiot! I am a SWALLOW! Jesus! It's not that hard!"

⭐

[ELISE]: "It has been like, a week... I've lost track of time... I'm not sure if I'm a person..."

[AMY]: Hmmm, you won't be, in juuuuust a second!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "I'm gonna kill all of you!"

⭐

[SHADOW]: "Diamonds aren't green, dicknips."

⭐

[DR. EGGMAN]: "You have 13 seconds before the island fucking explodes, you Hot Topic-wannabe and you blue gumball son of a bitch! You have done nothing but destroy my life; I hope you both DIE."

⭐

[MARIA]: "I'm dying... because I'm so surprised..."

⭐

[BLACK DOOM]: "Errm, Bing-Bong! Uhh hey, what's up! You're doin' a bad job!"

[pianokantzart]

snapcube mentioned?!?!?!?! I’m sorry but I’m getting excited now lmao I never get to talk about snapcube. how much of their sonic fandubs have you seen? got a favorite joke/scene? (if it’s the Memphis Tennessee one, that’s so real actually. side note: I highly recommend their sonic destruction series. while they’re not dubbing over a video game, it’s still soooo funny I promise.)

Actually, fun fact: Sonic Destruction is the only Snapcube thing I've seen all the way through rather than just in clips. (I do most of my youtube watching while drawing, so the audio-only medium is best for me)

And yes, I did literally start crying tears of laughter once or twice during my first watch through.

But darn it all, my favorite character has to be The Devil from The Bible. It was just good joke after good joke after good joke, all building up to that fantastic mental breakdown. Also the "Heeeey. What's uuuuuup. It's meeeeee" sound bite plays in my mind at least once a week. That and "Eh, bing bong hey what's up you're doing a bad job."

[ask-squid-sisters]

Hey bing bong bozo what’s up it’s me da devil from da bible

*Gasp* The devil? From the bible? Wait what is a bible?

Human thing.

Oh...

Hey wait why are you shaped like a starfish?

Maybe that's just what the devil looks like?

[adventurous-adventures]

5 July 2024: We're back!! ... again

we keep going on haitus because something keeps coming up

BING BONG WE'RE BACK AGAIN

Georgie uses Jesus. It's super effective.

There is a spare chair that neither Zain nor Georgie sit on.

Praise the floor! (reference to TAAOD and the floormans)

Lara is now bulk buying books instead of crystals. (jesus, really calling me out on that one. y'all think books are an improvement to crystals)

Georgie has also fallen head first into sonic lore. Zain approves of this.

Zain goes goblin mode and jumpscares Alex.

The 5 Dwarves size up the rats (?) And think they can take them...in a fight, right?

Alex has completely lost it. "It took one sentence?! To make a sex joke?!" (new record)

Mick makes a small yelp. I don't know why they made that.

The Dwarves are not fighters, they're lovers.

Lara was really close to throwing their embroidery work at Georgie.

"The Gnomes want to fuck the rats" - Zain "They're Dwarves." - Alex "The Dwarves want to fuck the rats" - Zain "Viscerally." - Mick "With Pickaxes." - Georgie "This is the weirdest Minecraft porn I've ever heard of." - Zain

It has been 17 minutes and Alex is so very broken.

"He's just Don John." - Georgie "Anywhere else and he would be a racist black guy." - Zain

"The default for racists is white." - Georgie

Ew we're talking about religion.

Zain now wants to burn a Bible.

Communion wafers are made of Jesus' flesh.

"Who the fuck wants to eat Jesus?" - Zain (blame Jesus, he's the one who came up with the eucharist)

Georgie and Mick are Pagan. Zain immediately thinks of Pagan Min from far cry 4 (May Pagan's light shine upon us all.)

"We could take it 3 way." - Georgie

We try to figure out the context of the choc'd or Fingered quote. Georgie wondered if we fingered anybody.

There's a locked door behind the Dwarves. Iphigenia breaks their thieves' tools.

Mick was very closing in searching up 'how to make a bomb in D&D.'

Raven knows how to make gunpowder.

One of the Dwarves finally tell us of another way that involves climbing up a cliff.

Raven does a resident evil 4 and shoots the lock with his crossbow. He gets a nat 20 and breaks it.

Raven convinces the Dwarves not to fight the Lycanthorpe rats. The Dwarves made River-Lea literally swear to come back. (River-Lea says fuck).

The party stealthily make it to where they can see the exit. There are two guards that are standing in the way, watching out towards the clearing.

Zain ponders how to deal with this in the toilet.

Zain has decided to resort to violence with a suprise round.

"Gaylight, Girlkeep, Gasboss."

Plan has changed, Don John gets yeeted by River-Lea (georgie temporarily regains yeeting privileges which were revoked from the yeeting incident)

Raven is gonna suprise shoot a mofo.

Alex's brain is fried from all the sex jokes.

"Man your brain is really fucked up." - Zain

SUPRISE ROUND STARTS:

Juniper makes the guards crispy with a couple of scorching rays.

Raven gets a headshot on one and then brutally murders the other.

Raven has "edged the Dwarves emotionally."

There's another wererat that opens the door and sees the scene unfold. Then the party decides to bolt it out of there.

The party makes it back to Phandalin by sunset.

"What has Wester done for this village?" - Georgie "Shit his pants" - Zain

Alistair and Dewdrop have been quiet this entire session.

Dewdrop was getting railed by Orcs and Alistair was just quiet.

Iphigenia and Juniper sleep at Iphigenia's family bakery and Raven and River-Lea sleep at the farm.

IT'S A NEW DAY, YES IT IS!

Zain falls for the Mind Goblin joke.

The party tries to persuade Wester to get double the payment. Instead the party gets 100 from Wester and 100 from Don John.

"Polycule is good for your finances." - Georgie.

Juniper is designated group accountant.

The party now goes to the blue lions store now run by Annette fire emblem.

Zain now voices Annette fire emblem in this campaign.

Raven fails to try and rizz Annette.

Georgie throws an eraser into the poutine.

We have 3 new quests! The party are ready to head out for Axholm and make a safe haven in the event of evacuation.

[lucaaazd]

Modern au headcanons:

Annie is a pot head and only smokes splifs. She thinks bongs are disgusting.

Armin, however, has asthma.

Oops.

Eren is a Kanye apologist.

Bed turtle has been in love with Annie ever since he saw her jump from the top of a fifteen feet high slide for 5 dollars as a six year old.

Reiner and Bed turtle jerk each other off (no homo tho)

Historia was raised a good Christian girl and thought she was gonna marry a nice guy from her bible study class.

Ymir is transmasc.

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

Hey Charlie do you know about Gex

"Yes, I've met Gex before it was sometime after a burning man concert guy was smoking the bible out of a bong, he's a.... fun guy I guess? I ate his sunglasses they were okay."

[technologicallygrafted]

Well! Once you get more settled [honestly the best place to work may be your local despensety, their backround checks are pretty minimal], i do reccomend a little sightseeing! NM can be a very pretty place, especially further away from texas (i guess that depends on how much you want to travel, but it should be less time than going anywhere within texas if that helps at all)

JR: Gotta be honest my main plan for the interviews was to dress up as fancy as possible and act like the most kiss-ass bitch on the planet to convince the manager to not look at my documents too closely.

JR: But i think applying to a weed shop in a suit would maybe be too much.

JR: Like sure, dressing up in my Sunday best to stroll into the local grocery store seems pretty normal, the manager would probably think I'm from some bible-snorting traditional family.

JR: But a tux in the same building where people purchase comically shaped bongs? Sure it'd be ironic, but it might make the manager think I'm suspicious.

JR: and before you ask; this is my only outfit that covers my arms, and id prefer to stave off any questions about why i've got robotic limbs.

JR: That, and the fact that I'm not going to church ever again, i need to find some use for this tacky thing.

[creepyshowerkid]

“None of these words are in the bible” yeah newsflash dipshit most good words aren’t in the bible. Words that aren’t in the bible: “bimbo” “handjob” “banh mi” “gravity bong”