#Bodily boundaries

[middle-earth-marauder]

Hottest thing a man can do? Respect!👏Boundaries! 👏

[balkanlila]

everyone talks themselves into a life that suits them best

[lambsouvlaki]

While Jason can be a big mean dom in bed, he has to know his partner really really well before he'll dare to. He's very aware of himself, he's big and strong and can be extremely threatening. His body is a weapon. He'll throw himself into a volcano before accidentally intimidating someone in the bedroom.

[murderofsomeone]

guys i know it's fun to engage with polls but there is such thing as sharing Too Much information and sometimes these things are just fishing for personal information and you HAVE to be careful about that

[forcepushthinker]

The general public could learn so much from the queer community, most importantly about consent and bodily autonomy.

Six years ago I was uprooted by the first Trump administration and sent to leave the US with TWO weeks notice, despite my employer sponsoring my visa to stay, because they needed qualified workers too difficult to find among US citizens, because Trump wanted "American jobs for American people".

When I tell that story to any cis hets, the immediate reaction is compassion in the form of shoulder pats and/or hugs. All queer people I tell this story to immediately react the same way, but instead of just going in for the physical contact, without fail, they ask me first for consent for that physical contact, to make sure it's actually ok to touch me first, before trying to comfort me.

We really need to normalise in all aspects of life that it is not ok to just make physical contact with people, without ensuring first that the physical contact is actually ok and consented to.

I'm a hugger, I'm usually ok with hugs from most people, but it should never be assumed that this is simply the case for everyone we meet.

[ganymedesclock]

Despite Maplestory being a world of bobbleheads, a few of the armor sets- especially for thieves- are surprisingly scanty. I'm pretty indifferent to this but I thought it'd be funny to draw the two thief characters I'm currently playing in their own idea of 'light outfits'.

[crazycatsiren]

Yeah all the things that you don't want Christians doing to you? Ain't cool for you to do to other people either, even if you aren't Christian. Proselytizing is still annoying, no matter which god you worship or don't worship.

[sydmarch]

antiviral but about the resentful forced intimacy of biological communion with someone you hate

[magicwithered]

I could go on a rant about how you don’t have to ignore Astarion to romance him you just have to respect his bodily autonomy but none of y’all will listen to me

[thedragonagelesbian]

feeling abnormal about hardened!lucanis again......

RATTLING THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE LUCANIS WHEN HAS YOUR LIFE EVER BEEN YOURS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[peggy-sue-reads-a-book]

MERRY CONSENTMAS. Let’s talk about personal space/belongings. I’m thinking of kids particularly but this could apply to anyone.

Ok so you’re at someone’s house. You wouldn’t invite yourself into the primary bedroom to have a look around, right? It shouldn’t be different for kids’ room. That is also a safe, private, and personal space for somebody.

Just because the same child was super excited to show you their room and all their stuff last year doesn’t mean they feel the same way this year.

Honestly, adolescents are even more likely to be self conscious of their space and stuff than adults.

If there is a kid moping in a corner with a sketchbook, they don’t want to show you or explain why they’re drawing fanart of emo elves.

It’s going to feel extremely violating if you pick up that sketchbook and start turning pages. That’s not fun. If you are genuinely interested in their artwork or the book they’re reading, try asking a specific question. Remember, if someone is drawing or reading or playing a phone game at a big holiday event, they probably feel really weird and shy right now.

Food can also feel very personal. Idk, for adolescents, everything is personal. No one needs to justify being a vegetarian or gluten free or whatever. You’re smart, you get it.

Did you like being spoken of as if you and your siblings were a monolith of age and preferences? Of course not, especially when you were in middle school and thinking a lot about differentiation. There’s a big difference between asking the parent “Do your children ____” and asking the kids, “Do any of you guys _____”. I don’t care if it’s identical quadruplets, it goes a long way to show you see them as whole-ass people.

Teenagers are not going to think it’s cool if you try to act like their peer in any way shape or form. At best it comes off as immature and at worst is kinda creepy.

Say it’s a shared room. The younger child really wants to show you around. It’ll go a long way to ask their roommate before going in.

LAUNDRY. This is a normal thing to want to help with, and might be to totally fine. It might also be embarrassing for older kids.

Little kids too, especially around potty training. If someone needs help getting cleaned up, they might just want their parent.

When in doubt, ask “is this special to anyone?” before using something/sharing it with other kids.

Literally no one wants to hear your opinion on who’s sleeping with a lovie at what age.

I repeat. I do not care if there is a 17 year old with chest hair in this house wearing a blankie on his head like Linus from Peanuts. This Christmas, give the gift of minding your own.

And for the love of sweet baby Jesus, KNOCK.

[b4kuch1n]

Hi, I've been inspired by the composition and abstract style of your artwork for a while now, if I made an experimental art piece inspired by your composition style would you want me to credit you as an inspo? or would you just not be comfortable with me using your art as inspiration altogether? (which is fine btw, i don't wanna do smth that would make you uncomfortable)

oh sure! feel free! I don't mind at all lol

[angeltism]

EEEEEEH honestly during the time we were mutuals we interacted like a maximum of . two times. perhaps even just once. which is a bit crazy considering all of this now. i was just scared of trying to keep interacting honestly HSJAHDJSHD but if you dont feel like dating after i reveal myself that is completely absolutely alright! i would appreciate having you as a friend just as much! its whatever you prefer and whatever you feel more comfortable with :3

- 💌 anon

oooh well . still honestly I bet uur kewl <3 and yayaya !! thank uu for being understanding , I very much appreciate it . to be faaair , I do . kinda . have a soft spot for uu , y'know ? so even if it isn't immediately . . . the idea isn't something I'm opposed to ^_^

[crazycatsiren]

I don't want you to bless me without my consent, exactly the same as I don't want you to touch me without my consent. Even if you think you're trying to help me. Even if you believe you're trying to be nice. It's really that simple.

[headspace-hotel]

Notes on Torturing The Character In The Science Facility

my takes on this trope rarely if ever have anything to do with the character being "special" or being studied for powers they innately have, if they are special its something that was done to them

it's about the medical trauma

it's about the violation and lack of bodily autonomy

the "living weapon" trope, but the key characteristic is catastrophic functionality

i love, love, love the concept of "catastrophic functionality" in a person: character that can tank ludicrous amounts of damage and just Keep Going in virtually all circumstances barring outright dismemberment. They can keep going, so do they "deserve" rest and/or pain relief?

after a lifetime of having their distress treated as whiny and unreasonable, they have what would be a dangerously high tolerance to pain and exhaustion.

another key function of the Science Facility is to fix the damage Character takes, maybe using enhanced healing technologies or 3D printed organs or something. this leads to Character's body being treated as relatively disposable cause "we can just fix them"

extreme version of this: Character can't die even if they wanted to

people who work with Character are informed that they're dangerous and arbitrarily violent, and their fear of Character makes it easier to justify restricting autonomy

It is TRUE, cause Character does not have tools to set boundaries or protect their body other than violence. vicious cycle of being perceived as dangerous and therefore denied autonomy, and being forced to use violence to defend autonomy

the restraints used to hold Character look like major overkill, which underscores how dangerous they are. LOVE this trope

character being desexualized to the point that their non-consent to touch, to being stripped down and examined, or to procedures is trivialized. There is no non-clinical context for their body, and the "clinical" framework eclipses any possibility for bodily violation to be understood as violent.

types of uncanniness: Character looks human but has some subtle inhuman traits or characteristics. (I'm obsessed with reflective eye shine, personally.) OR Character looks like they've been taken apart and put back together, like flesh pulled over a much more unforgiving and indestructible metal scaffold. OR Character gives off "undead" vibes; they're just not quite alive in a way that sets off air raid sirens in people's brains

Often, Character is dead and Came Back Wrong (varying levels of literalness)

anyways yeah. i never stopped writing this trope and probably never will. it's a good one

[jewishvitya]

When I see people sharing so much of their kids' lives, I think about that one time my child told a joke, I shared that joke with ONE FRIEND in a private conversation, and my child said "can you please ask me next time, before you tell people something about me?"

And, yes, I absolutely should. So I apologized, and now I ask.

"I love that video of you, can I show it to a friend?"

"Can I tell a friend about how clever you were just now?"

"Can I share this in the family group chat?"

"Can I show your art to grandma and grandpa?"

And it's not like my kids don't like when I share their jokes and puns and fun moments. They love it! But they want to have control over what I share with people. Even without their faces or their names. Even people we know and trust.

And they deserve to have that control.

My children are small so the examples are small. They wanted me to ask, so I ask. Just like being told to kiss my grandma's cheek when I was a kid was far from traumatizing, but I don't do that with my kids because it's a way to practice consent and become aware of bodily autonomy.

It gets both me and them in the habit of asking for consent and drawing boundaries and seeing the lines between their life and my life, their stories and my stories.