#Bodily boundaries

[murderofsomeone]

guys i know it's fun to engage with polls but there is such thing as sharing Too Much information and sometimes these things are just fishing for personal information and you HAVE to be careful about that

[sysig]

is this where u take the requests? if not, apologies lol still learning tumblr, I WAS WONDERING IF MY VARGAS RELATED REQUESTOBER REQUEST COULD BE JAKE/NNY? i feel like jake/nny is SO looked past like its actually so cute, they could be doing anything THANK U IF THIS WAS THE WRONG PLACE SORRY MWAH MWAH X

Day 12 - Once you had one hole in your skin, you've had 'em all

[ganymedesclock]

Despite Maplestory being a world of bobbleheads, a few of the armor sets- especially for thieves- are surprisingly scanty. I'm pretty indifferent to this but I thought it'd be funny to draw the two thief characters I'm currently playing in their own idea of 'light outfits'.

[crazycatsiren]

Yeah all the things that you don't want Christians doing to you? Ain't cool for you to do to other people either, even if you aren't Christian. Proselytizing is still annoying, no matter which god you worship or don't worship.

[magicwithered]

I could go on a rant about how you don’t have to ignore Astarion to romance him you just have to respect his bodily autonomy but none of y’all will listen to me

[peggy-sue-reads-a-book]

MERRY CONSENTMAS. Let’s talk about personal space/belongings. I’m thinking of kids particularly but this could apply to anyone.

Ok so you’re at someone’s house. You wouldn’t invite yourself into the primary bedroom to have a look around, right? It shouldn’t be different for kids’ room. That is also a safe, private, and personal space for somebody.

Just because the same child was super excited to show you their room and all their stuff last year doesn’t mean they feel the same way this year.

Honestly, adolescents are even more likely to be self conscious of their space and stuff than adults.

If there is a kid moping in a corner with a sketchbook, they don’t want to show you or explain why they’re drawing fanart of emo elves.

It’s going to feel extremely violating if you pick up that sketchbook and start turning pages. That’s not fun. If you are genuinely interested in their artwork or the book they’re reading, try asking a specific question. Remember, if someone is drawing or reading or playing a phone game at a big holiday event, they probably feel really weird and shy right now.

Food can also feel very personal. Idk, for adolescents, everything is personal. No one needs to justify being a vegetarian or gluten free or whatever. You’re smart, you get it.

Did you like being spoken of as if you and your siblings were a monolith of age and preferences? Of course not, especially when you were in middle school and thinking a lot about differentiation. There’s a big difference between asking the parent “Do your children ____” and asking the kids, “Do any of you guys _____”. I don’t care if it’s identical quadruplets, it goes a long way to show you see them as whole-ass people.

Teenagers are not going to think it’s cool if you try to act like their peer in any way shape or form. At best it comes off as immature and at worst is kinda creepy.

Say it’s a shared room. The younger child really wants to show you around. It’ll go a long way to ask their roommate before going in.

LAUNDRY. This is a normal thing to want to help with, and might be to totally fine. It might also be embarrassing for older kids.

Little kids too, especially around potty training. If someone needs help getting cleaned up, they might just want their parent.

When in doubt, ask “is this special to anyone?” before using something/sharing it with other kids.

Literally no one wants to hear your opinion on who’s sleeping with a lovie at what age.

I repeat. I do not care if there is a 17 year old with chest hair in this house wearing a blankie on his head like Linus from Peanuts. This Christmas, give the gift of minding your own.

And for the love of sweet baby Jesus, KNOCK.

[aronarchy]

person on twitter:

You shouldn’t put your kids’ private info (including details of their personal lives) or faces/pictures online until they both are old enough to be fully informed about all of the risks of being online and, while being informed of those risks, consent to you doing that. 😁

Once you put your kids online, you can never fully take that stuff offline. If they grow up and decide that anything you chose to share about them isn’t something they want to be publicly available for literally everyone on the planet, they have no choice. You took it from them.

We say “the internet is forever” for a reason. Even if you delete all the posts, you can never fully erase them. All the time that the posts were up doesn’t just disappear, either, so it’s already affected them. No other permanently life-altering decision is treated so casually.

Kids have a right to privacy and autonomy. If you care about them you will protect that right, even when it’s boring or inconvenient to do so.

As for sharing anonymized info about your kids online without their fully informed consent: it isn’t actually anonymous if too many details are shared, if not enough details are altered, or if you aren’t fully anonymized yourself. Also, anonymous stuff can still hurt your kid.

Even if it’s anonymous, if you find out someone publicly posted online about a very sensitive private issue like a mental health crisis or an embarrassing experience, you probably would feel pretty violated. Kids, like you, are people, and have feelings.

There are certain things which are anonymous and innocuous enough that it’s probably fine, like “I made my kid a grilled cheese today and he dropped it on the couch” probably won’t do any damage, but you don’t realize just how immensely careful you must be about that stuff.

Things which to you seem like innocent funny stories might be really hurtful to your kid if you share without permission. If you’re sharing online, you can never take it back—if that hurts your kid, it hurts them for life. Every time you post about them, remember that.

.

there are probably some exceptions and nuance to this but I really think that posting your children online without their consent, whether it be private stories about what they said or did or pictures/video, is a major example of patriarchal youth oppression and dehumanization 🧵

when you think about what parents are posting private details about what kids, it’s usually the disabled kids who have their privacy violated the most, particularly autistic ones

I know so many stories of those kids growing up to be traumatized and horrified as teens/adults

you’ve also probably seen the transphobic/TERF abusive parents who share extremely sensitive and private information about their trans kids without those kids’ consent, often to make public transphobic attacks against them and to reinforce their own oppressive power

I remember one post went viral on here a while back of a 15 year old trans teenager making a reddit post explaining about their TERF mother’s transphobic posts about them, apologizing for the trans kids their mother has hurt and discussing how much it had hurt them to experience.

they mentioned specifically that their internet use was being monitored and so they didn’t have much time to write the post—they did not even have the autonomy to speak about the abuse they endured publicly, to fight back. posting about them was an abuse tactic for their mother.

so, also, was internet surveillance. the oppression of youth is structured so the youth are always being monitored, surveilled—and they are given the least awareness of the world around them possible, caged in to the oppressive environment. this is hugely exemplified online.

the most marginalized kids are made into a dehumanized online spectacle by parents. almost always, when private or sensitive info about a kid goes online without their consent, it’s “look how disabled/queer/weird this creature is, look how good of a person I am for tolerating it”

or, sometimes it’s not even as polite as that, and it’s more like “do not believe my child or people like them when they tell you anything, believe me and people like us, the people who oppress them”

there is a great investment in discrediting the voices of marginalized youth

again, there are probably exceptions to this, but not as many as people probably think—even if it’s not harmful, informed consent should be required from a child before permanently putting their info or face onto the internet, an irreversible and potentially dangerous thing

the reason it’s so hard to talk about this is that the vast majority of people agree with the patriarchal oppression of children, even if they think they don’t—they laugh at the idea of children having rights and autonomy, of needing their consent to do something to them

[gloopdimension]

one of dedusgorma’s kids get a crush. Dedusmuln is far more lenient and gives casual advice about this and that while pongorma, to the sought partner, gives a very high pressure intense pop quiz on how they swear upon their soul how well they will treat his kin

[b4kuch1n]

Hi, I've been inspired by the composition and abstract style of your artwork for a while now, if I made an experimental art piece inspired by your composition style would you want me to credit you as an inspo? or would you just not be comfortable with me using your art as inspiration altogether? (which is fine btw, i don't wanna do smth that would make you uncomfortable)

oh sure! feel free! I don't mind at all lol

[angeltism]

EEEEEEH honestly during the time we were mutuals we interacted like a maximum of . two times. perhaps even just once. which is a bit crazy considering all of this now. i was just scared of trying to keep interacting honestly HSJAHDJSHD but if you dont feel like dating after i reveal myself that is completely absolutely alright! i would appreciate having you as a friend just as much! its whatever you prefer and whatever you feel more comfortable with :3

- 💌 anon

oooh well . still honestly I bet uur kewl <3 and yayaya !! thank uu for being understanding , I very much appreciate it . to be faaair , I do . kinda . have a soft spot for uu , y'know ? so even if it isn't immediately . . . the idea isn't something I'm opposed to ^_^

[jaemtens]

for fucks sake they are 20 year old dudes who have been friends for 7 years, stop psychoanalyzing every joke about a friend group dynamic you don't understand in a language you probably don't speak from a culture you're not apart of

[kabbalicgay]

Motherfuckers got embarrassed when they were being called ''SJWs'' in their teens or early adulthood that you all stopped reading any sort of theory or political work that encourages us to stop and think about what mechanisms and structures are a part of society that influence the way we see ourselves and the people around us - which includes patriarchal and euro-centric standards of beauty and appearance - so now you're too busy arguing over if a child wanting to make her "big nose" less big is progressive and #feminist or not.

[crazycatsiren]

I don't want you to bless me without my consent, exactly the same as I don't want you to touch me without my consent. Even if you think you're trying to help me. Even if you believe you're trying to be nice. It's really that simple.

[fellhellion]

Now that I’ve seen it brought up (since id completely forgotten about it) Miguel probably didn’t use the paralytic venom on Miles because he was lost in the griefrage sauce, hence also not realising that he was sent to a different dimension, despite knowing about spider 42.

[peggy-sue-reads-a-book]

I will NEVER demand that my children:

Wear clothes they dislike or say are uncomfortable.

Wear their hair a certain way.

Eat when they say they are full or don’t like something.

Like my decisions

Stay in a situation after expressing fear or discomfort

Pet your weird dog (sorry)

You would show courtesy to another adult on any one of these issues. Please do the same for kids. For everyone.

*yes, I have rules about hygiene and dressing for the weather. That’s a separate issue.

[beemovieerotica]

LegalEagle did a very interesting breakdown of "the battery episode" of Better Call Saul where he actually used this as an example of something you can legitimately sue someone over. Feeding a person food that they have not consented to eating is assault.

The Goyim are fucking wild, the way I would have dumped that casserole over that woman's head, also divorce that wife.