#Blonde Jokes

[shiftythrifting]

Some extremely shifty finds were spotted at the thrift this weekend.. like what even is sniffing equipment for children? And lots of shells glued to a lot of shit.

[oldinterneticons]

BRUNETTE: I was listening to eminem last night BLONDE: you were listening to CANDY?!

[backtobackagainsposts]

Guys I just tried to change a lightbulb and broke the light fixture.

…

Where do I find a husband?

[pippinoftheshire]

My Mum: (Shouting from the other side of the house last night) Why are you laughing so hard??

Me: (And this is no joke) Illya's busy drowning!

My mum: (Starts laughing too) You blondes

Hey owch! We blondes can be useful too!

:)

[gggafie]

TW! Might be offensive bc this is a blonde joke.

Two Blondes walk into a bar.

You think one of them would notice.

[lbeth1950]

Blonde Jokes

A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head. “I need to take that walkman off your head,” says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde. “You can’t! I’ll die!” retorts the blonde. “I can’t cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!” says the beauty specialist getting annoyed. “I said you can’t take it off, or I’ll die!” The beauty specialist, outraged…

[semvulgotd3]

coringa

[akajustmerry]

that report on Zionists abducting blonde Palestinian children to be "adopted" by Zionists makes me physically shake. I'm an Aboriginal person with extended family who were abducted by the "Australian" government decades ago and put up for "adoption" by whites as part of what is now known as the Stolen Generations. All Aboriginal children, but especially those who were lighter in features, were the target of this genocidal assimilation policy. The colonial legacy of Aboriginal child abduction on my peoples is an intergenerational abyss of cultural loss, the destruction of bloodlines, despair and grief that is still felt by every First Nations person in the country today. To be alive and witness another Indigenous people experience the same destruction by practically the same hand drowns me in anguish. Fuck settler colonial projects. Death to all of them. They're all the fucking same. Land Back for every First Nations peoples living under occupation, from Palestine to so-called Australia.

[bakudekublogblog]

i’m sorry but izuku offering another gay blond man his hand and kacchan going wide-eyed is so funny

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

redraw

[tsukk1]

[senfrogs band au] the sillies in merch ft. two pretty bestfriends ✌🏽⭐️

[twobuckhowie]

Why Did I Store This?

   Over the years I have accumulated a lot of Stuff, telling myself that I would use this thing that I stored, later. I'm not going to tell you that I am a hoarder, buuuuuut, I have been going through drawers, under beds, closets, cabinets, a crawl space, and my garage for about a year now.

   I think I have personally supplied Angel View with all their charitable goods during this time.

   I have recently been opening up boxes that I stored maybe 20 years ago? Give or take a decade.

   I would like to share with you something I found from 2009 and have no idea why I saved it. It was written down on a piece of paper.

*****

A police officer pulls over a blonde for speeding and asks the driver if she could see his license. The driver replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday a different officer took my license and now today, you expect me to show it to you!"

   A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "You wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy sitting next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, I think you should know something. The bartender and the bouncer are both blonde. I'm six foot tall, 200 pound black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5", weighing in at 300 lbs, and is a wrestler. Now think about it. Do you really want to tell a blonde joke?" The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

   A lawyer named Mister Impos Syble was shopping for a tombstone. After making his selection the stone-cutter asks for the inscription he would like on his headstone. "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer." Mr. Syble tells him. "I can't do that," replies the stone-cutter. "It's against the law to bury two people in the same grave in this state. I can put here lies an honest lawyer." "But people won't know who it is," protests Mr. Syble. "Sure it will," retorts the stone-cutter. "People will read it and exclaim, "That's Impossible!"

   When a person helps a criminal before he gets arrested, we call them, an accomplice. When a person helps a criminal after he gets arrested, we call them, a public defender.

   A man gets caught embezzling millions of dollars from his employer and seeks out a defense attorney. He tells his new attorney, "Please, I can't go to jail, I have money. Can you help me?" The attorney says, "Don't worry. You'll never go to jail with all that money." The lawyer was right. When the guy went to prison, he didn't have a dime to his name because of legal fees!

 This is,

Now I Can Throw Away One More Piece Of Paper

Jim Hauenstein

And

“The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. ” - Will Rogers -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Thanks for reading

Be kind to everyone

I'll be seeing you

[wordsmatter09]

[memes-of-my-father]