#Amusing

[thearunadragon]

Quotes:

1. Murtagh: Finally drowning your sorrows, brother? Eragon (inconsolable): I think they can f*cking sWim— [commence miserable sound effects]

2. Eragon (drunk): So I got skewered this week

Vanir: Like a kebab? Eragon: ✨Rider R o t i s s e r i e ✨

3.

Orrin (cackling): Where do bad rainbows go?

Nasuada: …

Nasuada: Where.

Orrin: PRISM. Murtagh: It’s a light sentence, but it gives them time to…

Murtagh: ✨r e f l e c t✨

4. Saphira: What’s the thing someone least expects for their birthday? Murtagh: Vegetables? Nasuada: Insects. Thorn: Murder.

(Eragon, walking by: Happiness.)

5.

Vanir: You are an uncultured bastardly cripple. Nobody f*cking loves you. Eragon: TWINKLE TWINKLE REBEL CASH, YOUR OPINION’S F**KING TRASH-

Eragon: *dramatically jigs out of frame*

(Saphira proceeds to admire the script she gave Eragon.)

6.

Orrin: How are we going to save the army? Orik: Willpower.

Garzhvog: Strength! Angela: Frogs. Elva: Manipulation. Nasuada:

Nasuada: ✨l a c e✨

7.

Murtagh: WHY CAN’T YOU JUST GO OUT AND KILL THEM YOURSELF??

Galbatorix: …

Galbatorix: …I don’t know if you realize this, but I’m really f**king bored.

Random soldier: He’s telling the truth. This is the most entertainment he’s had since the Fall!

8.

Varden Soldier: You’re ugly

Eragon (has not slept in 36 hours) thank you

Varden Soldier: You’re welco— what? Eragon: we can all look like ass T OG ETH ER-

9.

Trianna: I propose—

Eragon: I consent—

Saphira: Tough luck, dirttoast.

10.

Murtagh: what do women even like? Animals? Gold? Silver? Eyelashes? Talking daisies? Ass? Eragon: …Cheese. Murtagh: Wh—

Nasuada: …He’s not wrong. Arya: I will neither confirm nor deny this.

[victusinveritas]

[ilaughalot2]

[overstimulated-autism-creature]

Placebo Meme

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[1five1two]

[book-snippets]

- from Time to Orbit: Unknown by Derin Edala, who you can find @derinthescarletpescatarian

Tal’s always got kes priorities in order, starting with robbing big corporations. It’s a shame ke can’t really do that on a very normal, stress free spaceship.

[cugzarui]

hey hey you should really read el goonish shive

[ilaughalot2]

[jaubaius]

Modern art

Source

Original scene

[overstimulated-autism-creature]

A classic

[lady-whistledown19]

Procrastination: An art form

Expert advice on procrastination from a professional procrastinator

How to procrastinate? Is it an art form? Is it a skill? Can an average person get a degree in procrastination? All your questions answered in this article.

Procrastination is an inborn talent, a God-given gift, an extraordinary boon, that not everyone is born with. For those who weren’t lucky enough to be born with it, this article is made for you. Let me make it clearer, this article was written just to brag. Jokes on those people who thought they could achieve such a rare skill by reading a mere article. I wonder how these people had the audacity to think that it’s easy to master this skill. Y’all think it’s easy to sit and scroll on a phone for 3 hours straight huh?

You think it’s easy, to forget about the four physics assignments, three math assignments AND the fact that I need to clean my wardrobe? Let me be the one to break the news to you: if you were not born with this privilege, then there is absolutely no way you can die with it, for it is not a skill that you can master in a whim. You can try all you want, and for as long as you want, but even in a gazillion years you won’t be able to master it.

As a professional procrastinator, who has 7 years of experience in mindless phone-scrolling and binge-watching numerous TV shows a week before my exams, a master’s degree in avoiding work by either pretending they don’t exist or by acting like I have personal servants to do them for me, I wrote this article specifically to criticize those geniuses who think it’s easy to procrastinate.

To conclude, I wish all procrastinators stay united amidst this struggle between the individuals blessed with procrastination and those liars, who were not so lucky to be blessed with such a luxury. I thank all those brave procrastinators who have risked their lives for procrastination.

Written by,

A human blessed with procrastination and cursed to live with a non-procrastinating family.

[writingmysanity]

On today's episode of being a boy mom:

My child continues to stare in awe at a pile of disrupted ants (thanks doggo) and said that his least favorite ant is the fire ant. He then preceeded to pause, look up at me and ask, "how do fire ants hold the fire inside of them without burning up?"

Darling, if I knew... I'd tell you. I swear.

[outsideyourhousewithaknife]

One of my posts got a shitload of notes and I instantly went from craving attention, needing dopamine, hopeful for notes and reblogs to solemnly preparing to live life in the public eye and endure the trials of fame (nothing changes)

[maryjosedh]

a bat and a spider meet on a terrace 🦇🕷✨️

"Batman y el Hombre Araña (1997)"