#Blitz can't spell lol

[avionvadion]

I'm sorry but my sister introduced me to the song "Not Strong Enough" by Apocalyptica and it HITS SO HARD AS AN ELEANORA ABOUT LUCIFER SONG!???

"I'm not strong enough to stay away! Can't run from you- I just run back to you. Like a moth I'm drawn into your flame. You say my name, but it's not the same. You look in my eyes, I'm stripped of my pride, and my soul surrenders, and you bring my heart to its knees!

And it's killing me when you're away, and I wanna leave, and I wanna stay; I'm so confused, so hard to choose between the pleasure and the pain! And I know it's wrong and I know it's right, even if I try to win the fight; my heart will overule my mind, and I'm not strong enough to stay away!"

Like... literally. LITERALLY THAT'S JUST THE FANFIC.

WHAT THE HECK. JUST SPELL OUT EL'S ENTIRE THOUGHT PROCESS WHY DON'T YA. I AM THIS CLOSE TO CHANGING THE FIC'S TITLE NOW.

Anyways. El is going to be singing this at some point as like a... "Look My Way" type kind of song, if you know what I mean. Same vibes. She and Stolas would be besties with their complicated relationships with Luci and Blitz, lol.

[woomycritiques543]

Quick question, since the video is finally almost done...

Blitz, right here, has a chance to get the crystal..

Yet despite robbing this person...

HE DOESN'T FUCKING STEAL THE GEM?! WHY?!

Why keep himself with someone he doesn't want to be legally imprisoned and coerced with anymore?! What kind of ship bait retcon bullshit is this?! He really just HOPS into the portal, and I don't care if "Oh, the episode fetishizes feminine men again so everything is excused! LOL MOXXIE IN DRAG LMAO RULE 34 HERE WE CUM! Blitz is just stupi-" He can operate a gun!!!!!!!!!

Operating a gun- takes a BRAIN! Just take the stone, make the plot actually engaging again stick with your premise HB writers WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!

WHAT-

EDIT:

"But it's tied to the person who owns it?"

This can't be undone? At all? Blitz had the spell book for YEARS?! -and why would Ozzie give Stolas a gem?! He hates him, and why didn't Stolas think of this in the first place if the gems are EVERYWHERE in Hell?! Why does this plot need to exist if the way to Earth is widespread?!

You're really telling me that there's no way, in Hell, that Blitz can't make it his ownership instead- in fact, what are the other spells in the book?! -and why do they NEVER use them?! There's no source to steal it from?! He stole the book, why not go for something without coercion instead?! The lost potiential is spewing from this show at this point. Jesus Christ!

[helluvapurf]

Out of curiosity, what are your Top 10 Fave HB ships overall?❤️‍🔥

My "overall" top 10 faves? ...Hmmmmm-

Honestly a lil tricky 'cause alot of my main HB ships rn aren't exactly "canon" (save for like, one or two lol), and I do like to multi-ship alot as well depending on my mood. Sooo if I had to name just the top ships currently in my head rn (even if its not a full 10 list), here ya go!

Fizz x Ozzie Beautifully lustful bfs not afraid to be doofuses together whilst always lifting the other up when they're down... honestly, what more can one ask for in a Hell-ranked power couple?~ 💞🔥 If they ever made a spin-off for Fizzarolli, I’d SO be down for that if it means more Fizzmodeus duets~ 😍

Blitz x Fizz -Biiiit of a controversial one I know, since ofc Fizzarolli is in a relationship rn/Blitz having his own issues wouldn't spell too much success for a romance atm... but like, ughhh I can't help it they're SO good, man T-T 💕 Like, two torn-apart childhood friends who grow up into a petty rivalry, sassing eachother out whilst learning to work together in danger, hashing out their feelings enough to forgive (whilst taking it slow friendship-wise) BUT also having Blitz stand his ground to protect Fizz at the Mammon event?

...Honestly, if it weren't for Fizzmodeus (+Stol*itz) existing, these two would THE perfect endgame, fr~ 👏👏

Loona x Bee "Peppy x Moody" aesthetics are always a huge soft spot for me in ships, so I couldn't help getting drawn to these gals maybe being more than just "pals" lol ;p

Esp with the potential of Bee not being afraid to call out Loona on her crap (unlike most others who deal with her lol), Loona lowkey finding Bee attractive & super cool (despite still being a lil jealous over her Tex crush), and knowing how intuitive Bee is as a whole... I feel like she'd be the best influence to soften up Loona to get her to express herself & have fun~💖

Bee x Tex Prob my fave (canon) hetero pair atm, I think these two are pretty lovely on their own accord too~ :3 Surprisingly subtle with their affections compared to other couples... but you can still tell how much they fit well given their laidback natures, abilities to "read" people (like Blitz when he got too drunk), and just overall care for eachother in that bit after Bee shrank down to size. Really curious of how they got together ngl (esp given how Hellhounds are pretty low in the hierarchy system as-is), I think it'd be pretty fun to read about~ 🥰

Blitz x Striker Ahhh yes, def a classic in terms of the alternate Blitz ships out there (though I guess not as popular these days, given Striker's current writing .w.; ). From how much they oozed chemistry from their first meeting, Blitz's respect for Striker's skill almost giving them good coworker potential, their similar insecurities/frustrations with Hell's hierarchy system (even with Striker going a more "corrupt" route with it in later appearances... the fact that even he declares that Blitz deserved "better" than how Stolas' treats of him speaks volumes ngl-). Like, there's SO much potential imho; whether its a slowburn-redemption pair, an "flirting-on-opposing sides" pair, a "come to the dark side- we have cookies~" pair... the possibilities are endless~ 👀❤️

Blitz x Mrs. Mayberry

-Ok, now this one's proooobably the least popular overall of the Blitz ships out there... but idk, just thought it'd be a cute idea the more I thought about it lol .3.

Blitz may be a goofy lil jerk, but he's clearly a devoted family man at heart whenever you see him with his loved ones (Loona, Fizz, occasionally M&M, etc.). And with Mayberry having that strong desire for a family (despite how she was cheated/unfairly-bashed on after her death), I feel like she'd lowkey be a sweet influence to balance Blitz's chaotic nature (whilst he'd be able to make her laugh/bring "excitement" to her current life in Hell). Idk, just something light & cute like that, yknow? :3 💜

[hakureiryuu]

okay, I'm calm now, ready to rewatch with the intention of understanding, and not through the lens of 3 years of excessive fanfiction.

(and also, apparently, not through the lens of the book? idk man.)

episode 1, lez go!

crowley using that crank thingie to make stars is delightful, gives that bit at the end of s1 so much more impact and puts crowley's tool of choice on par with aziraphale's flaming sword.

thinkin bout the way the intros play out the entire series basically so I was waiting for aziraphale's sprite to fly away or something on 2nd watch. instead they're climbing up this huge purgatory-esque mountain with all of humanity behind them. lends some credence to the idea that the 3 seasons parallel the 3 acts of the divine comedy. (edit: actually the end of the s1 intro has them all jumping into the pits of the inferno so yeah that completely checks out.)

I didn't notice maggie spelled urgency wrong lmao

"I'm very good at forgiveness" bitch the fuck you are! ofc I would not be the least but surprised if heaven culture completely skewed his definition of the word.

crowley's tattoo is lower down on his face and it bothers me.

"why can't they just deliver the mail to your car" first hint that he's living in his damn car, which I didn't figure out until like ep3 XD

john hamm is delightful and I so deeply regret all the fics where gabriel is explicitly rapey. now he's a himbo of legendary proportions and I love him.

fly buzzing lol

"now that I'm not reporting to heaven" gdi he feels a lack without a system to report to even if that system was shit. he misses the scraps of approval heaven used to give him and doesn't know how to fill that void.

aziraphale practicing acknowledging his relationship with crowley 🥰

also I was so pleased when they tossed in that aziraphale knows about shax, they are (were 😭) doing so well.

I'm dying, their argument over gabriel is an exact parallel to their argument over going back to heaven. aziraphale wants to fix the problem. crowley wants to run from the problem. help me.

all the archangels dress in the cool spectrum of whites but muriel is warm and it stands out rather starkly.

s1 beelzebub had such an interesting accent and manner of speaking that this new one lacks. too feminine, maybe? not that enbys owe anyone androgyny I guess. idk I'm bad at change, ignore me.

trying to read into bee's behavior knowing what's really going on is so bizarre XD

that whole book of life thing never actually comes to fruition this season and I am scared.

I had zero investment in the secondary ship but listing off all the parallels makes it so interesting that they flip it all on its head by the end about who is paralleling who.

1793 was the french revolution, 1941 was the blitz. what the hell happened in 1650??

d'you think david tennent made up the I was wrong dance in the spot? 😂

"no alarm bells ringing in heaven" -cut to alarm bells ringing in heaven- welp

also I like the gestures both of them used in keeping with the rules. snapping is great and all but I like variety sometimes 😌

part 2

[timkontheunsure]

From @chessna2 😃

They both spell out words they think people around them can't spell.

They both watch hella novella and think of themselves as the "Gabriela" in the relationship. (All soaps must have a love triangle lol).

Always really happy when people suggest bits to add to this. It makes me smile.

Less fun one. They're both got depression, but could be a cute "oh snap me too moment" (yer I'm reaching).

They're both extremely dramatic queers assuming they're already old and their lives are done, (I say this with love lol 🏳️‍🌈).

But Blitz is only 36! And Stolas is 23 here!!! Are you flipping kidding me, you are not old in your twenties. 😆

Again these two are perfect for eachother

Edit: Fridge sitters

[toranoya]

ABOUT: Moxxie Knowlastname

“Oh crumbs.”

Moxxie Knolastname is an assassin at I.M.P, Millie's husband and one of the main protagonists of Helluva Boss. He is the straight man weapons expert of the I.M.P gang who tends to be the most rational of the group, but is often treated as the butt of the joke.

Nicknames: Mox, MoxMox, M, Little One, Little Fella/Dude, Poxxie, Old Man, Moxxine

Sexuality: Bisexual Species: Imp Demon Gender: Male

Likes: Cooking, Culinary arts, Musical theater, Classical music, Opera, Kindness, Being put in charge of missions, Supporting fellow artists

Dislikes: Blitz prying into his personal life, Theme parks, Theme Park mascots, Killing the innocent, Pop music, Stolas' wrath, His father's abuse, Loona calling him fat, Being the butt of the joke

Abilities: Ranged Combat, Skilled Marksmanship, Musical Talent, Guitar-playing, Songwriting Drawing, Acrobatics, Physically skilled (climbing, swimming), Earthly fire resistance

Occupation: Assassin/Weapon Specialist of I.M.P, Member of Crimson's Mafia (formerly)

Family: Millie (ex-wife) hc Joe (father-in-law) Lin (mother-in-law) Sallie May (sister-in-law) Crimson (father) Unnamed mother (mother) Three unnamed brothers-in-law Chazwick Thurman (ex-boyfriend; ex-fiancé)

Enemies Verosika Mayday Barbie Wire Striker (rival) Crimson Crimson's Mafia Chazwick Thurman (former fellow gang member) Employees of C.H.E.R.U.B Employees of D.H.O.R.K.S.

Friends Employees of I.M.P (co-workers) (Loona drives him nuts tho) Blitzo (boss; former cellmate) Stolas (Blitz’ rich boyfriend) Octavia

HEADCANON: -Because Mun generally prefers M/M interactions, Moxxie WAS married to Millie prior to her passing during a mission. He blames himself for not being there because he was guarding Stolas as a request from Blitz. A professional, he still showed up to work since it was all he had left, but drank heavily for a week after work. Millie rp’ers exempt

-Moxxie is a fan of the hit musical The Phantom of the Opera as his phone ringtone plays the pipe organ and suffered from a hallucination that heavily referenced the play. He also wondered what sex with Michael Crawford, the actor who originated the role of The Phantom, would be like.

-Moxxie does not swear as often as the others, when in a bad situation he often uses the comparatively tame phrase "Oh, crumbs". -Moxxie is susceptible to motion sickness, and may vomit when things get bad.

-Moxxie is freaked out by theme park mascots, believing them to be perverts under their costumes. -Moxxie makes really good coffee, but when going out has a rather complicated order.

-Moxxie hates it when people call him by the wrong name or misspell it. -Moxxie was mentioned to be native to the Wrath Ring in "The Harvest Moon Festival", and later shown to have grown up in the Greed Ring in "Exes and Oohs". -Doesn’t know how to say NO. -Moxxie loves cats and is a sleepwalker.

Bonus fave quotes: (Mun couldn't decide on a header, lol) "I spent my whole life of being afraid of you, but I'm not giving up the only good thing I've ever had just so you can keep your fragile little sense of control over everything. Millie is a good woman, a better woman than I deserve. And there's nothing that scares me more than hurting her, not even you."

"Miiillie!! Hiii! Heyy… Hey, when did you get four heads? I wanna kiss 'em!"

"I'll have a neapolitan cappuccino, more cappu than cino, make sure it's got no more than four ounces of milk (the beans won't have the right texture, otherwise), and make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup. They always put 'Foxy' or 'Roxy', I hate that. If you can't handle that I'll have a venti traditional Misto please use soy milk with two blonde shots affogato AND RISTRETTO!! I'd also love three vanilla pumps at the very bottom then add the coffee after then add--"

Appearance Moxxie is an imp with red skin and white freckles on his cheeks. His white pointy hair leads up to his curvy black and white striped horns. He also has yellow sclera with black slit pupils. He has a long red thin tail with a quadrilateral barb at the end, as well as lanky digitigrade legs ending in what appears to be cloven red hooves.

Moxxie's usual outfit consists of a navy-black coat with red buttons and white cuffs, black pants a white shirt that has a black turtleneck, a large red bow-tie, and fingerless gloves.

Personality Moxxie is the I.M.P's weapon specialist; and as such, has a vast knowledge of weapons and often brings a variety of them along during jobs.

He is often the most vocal and realistic of the employees regarding the company as a whole despite its dysfunctional environment and is bullied consequently. Moxxie is also shown to be unsure about himself at times since he’s not physically strong since Striker, Lin and Joe was giving him a hard time since they believe physical strength is what makes a person strong.

Despite being a murder-for-hire imp, Moxxie is queasy with unnecessary killing beyond their targets. He also is uncomfortable with the idea of killing targets who have families, and attempts to give people second chances.

Moxxie is also shown to have a comical side, as when he talks about killing an entire family, he claims it might be alright if it was just a shitty dad or a mob family, saying "That's understandable".

When intoxicated, he loses all common sense and becomes quite delusional, as shown when he asks Millie why she has "four heads", and high-fived her instead of grabbing her hand straightaway. He also is shown to become increasingly flirtatious with her when drunk.

[rodeoblitz]

Currently at ahalloween party at teh bar! Wenr as a vampire cowboy lol. Best bargain of my life atthat cheap ass store. 3 dollars for rhis whole getup and not a cent more. Paety before work!!

[the-lightning-strikes-again]

Today’s latest misspelling of Lotor’s name while I write: Loitor A Lotor who loiters

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Okay, since I've been blitzing Final Fantasy XIV, here's some headcanons:

- Kara wants to play and insists Lena join with her.

- Lena agrees, but immediately upon download starts trying to research online which class is best. Kara INSISTS that they have to do it based on intuition and onscreen description alone.

- Kara obvs goes paladin tank, whereas Lena misunderstands the instructions and tries to click on both archer AND thaumaturge, but clicks thaumaturge last and ends up as just thaumaturge

- she is immediately frustrated that she can't move and cast at the same time. Having to just sit there and cast for 3s while getting pummeled pisses her off

- thats when *Kara* sneaks some research in and discovers that THM is the hardest and most frustrating class to solo for a first timer.

- she does not tell Lena this

- kara immediately bypasses the novice hall training quests and just wings it by following the main story quests (MSQ), whereas Lena is diligent in hitting all the training missions as her levels allow, and takes on sidequests to level up before hitting the MSQ.

- bc dying a bunch of times battling things her own level is frustrating as hell so she does her best to pad her HP and levels enough that she has to level sync on each MSQ and THM quest

- kara just goes in whacking and hacking and hopes for the best

- they help each other raid their respective dungeons, with brainy and nia backing them up.

- then Lena starts unlocking the good stuff for her class. She mains the shear spell for solo quests and then just pummels Blizzard II during the dungeons

- when it comes to crafting, Lena notices that she's managed to pick up a lot of dyes in her quests just by happenstance, and figures since her armor is cloaks and trousers decides to become a weaver.

- following Lena's lead, kara becomes wants to smith to make her own respective armor and weapons.

- they both become very good very quickly, clocking a lot of hours just to level up and then in search of cool loot. They main their single initial characters until they max out the initial class and msq stats. Only then do they start creating alts.

.... and that's it thats as far as I've gotten. About to start my BLM quest today. At level like.... 35. Oops. But I'm getting better at helping out in the dungeons. The friends assisting in my raiding are all years-long players with multiple maxxed alts, so they just slice thru baddies like butter, but I'm starting to catch up at least lol.

[rodeoblitz]

I alwayes wante to make an apology post. So here is me, i toon this picture earlier and i have made a statement. I did nothingwrong and if anyoensays otheriwsr theyre flaming me.

[rodeoblitz]

Still rexoverinf from teh job, but i still go to wake up moxxsoxx whenever i can! This was from this morning o3o

[rodeoblitz]

My horse woke me up in the middle of the night saying she had to go brcsuse she repayed ke by saving mr. I got her coffee snd she saved me so eerr rven. Onr last picture together before she has to go... dhe lijes the name spindle so it stays

[rodeoblitz]

I saw thi slittle sticky jote horsie and i HAD TO HAVE IT

[rodeoblitz]

Went to my job today snd tooj this picture in the living world!! o3o

[rodeoblitz]

Gona stay in bed tiday, got to lay low since everyone wants ti talk to me. You guys knew id be fiiineee